Episode 1000754887448

1:48 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:55 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:57 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

1:59 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

2:01 Voiceover Loveline.

2:03 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 3108-54-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and an addiction medicine specialist. Yes, is your mic working there, Drew? It's missing a nut. That's all right, tighten up the other side, buddy. This is war time.

2:27 Drew It's a mash unit.

2:29 Adam Well, it's like Westwood 2, as I've said many, many, many times, I don't know if they're publicly traded. Are they? If they are.

2:39 Drew What's part of CBS?

2:40 Adam Buy stock, everybody. Because every goddamn penny is profit. It is all profit. See, here's how most businesses work. Certain percent of the money comes in, well, that's profit, but then quite a bit of it goes back to the factory, retooling, retraining, hiring people, that kind of stuff. Equipment, stuff breaks down, needs to be repaired, and also technology moves on. You have to stay up with it, not Westwood 1. Every penny they have goes right into their pockets. Not in equipment.

3:13 Drew It's funny, I was on a couple other radio stations throughout the country this last week.

3:16 Adam This is, by the way, I'm using the microphone that was used for the public address system.

3:21 Drew War of the World.

3:22 Adam No, in Japan, Bob and Pearl Harbor.

3:24 Drew I see.

3:24 Adam This is the actual mic that the guy yelled.

3:26 Drew I see.

3:27 Adam Yeah, the...

3:28 Drew I thought it was the one that Orson Welles spoke into for War of the World.

3:31 Adam That's your mic.

3:32 Drew Ah, okay. But I was in various radio stations throughout the country and a couple of them, I'd walk into some large control rooms with some nice-looking equipment, apologizing like crazy. To me, looked state of the art, brand new.

3:47 Adam You thought you were on the Star Trek Enterprise, didn't you?

3:50 Drew Oh, yeah. And to have them just apologizing, falling over themselves, apologizing for this worthless equipment.

3:55 Adam Yes. Yeah. Yeah. They... They don't even have a Dant recorder over here, do they Anderson? They have a...

4:03 Drew Not in this room.

4:04 Adam They have a 8-Track, I think, is what they have. And they have a reel-to-reel that a squirrel powers. All right. So, let's see. Let me just tell you how much I hate publicists. What happened? You know how I hate those publicists. Publicists, to me, they're really... Well, as someone was saying to me today, everyone always brings this up. They go, not all publicists are bad, but not all Nazis were bad either. There's a handful of decent guys who are just sort of doing their job, didn't really enjoy exterminating the Jews. Unacceptable. That's the way I feel about publicists. And not all lawyers are bad, and not all parking enforcement personnel are bad. But you could say that as a group, they're bad, couldn't you? I'm doing... They're going to kill me if they hear this. But I'm doing Killborn tomorrow, right?

4:50 Drew Yeah. Have you just done that like three times in the last few weeks?

4:53 Adam Obviously, they're hard up over there. So I'm doing the Craig Killborn show tomorrow. And I did it maybe three or four weeks ago. And I did the opening slot. I was the lead guest. I did a couple of segments, did the five questions and the whole thing. Now, in Hollywood, it's a big deal who comes out first.

5:12 Yeah.

5:13 Adam The people who sit home and watch the TV, I don't think they really care if I come out first or Rebecca Gahart comes out.

5:26 Drew Is she doing it?

5:26 Adam This story. Yeah. Rebecca Gahart is doing it. Who is she? Rebecca. Well, that's a good point. Rebecca Gahart is a very attractive. She was a model and then she turned to acting. She did like a Scream 2 and a couple movies like that. I think she's been on this show, Drew. You shouldn't ask who she is, by the way. You should be a big fan.

5:46 Drew Your name is?

5:48 Adam The point is, I was supposed to be the lead guest tomorrow night, and then I got a call from my producer, and her publicist had some sort of a deal where Rebecca had to come out first. I don't really care. The only thing I care about is that it was driven by the publicist. As I've said many, many times, I don't need a publicist. I need everyone else not to have a publicist. Because if there were no publicist, then I go on first. But because Rebecca Gayheart has a publicist, and I don't have a publicist, then she goes on first. And Kilbourne doesn't want to put her on first. They want to put me on first. But they have to put her on first because...

6:30 Drew She controls somebody else who they want.

6:32 Adam There's somebody else that they want beside Rebecca Gayheart who the publicist probably handles as well, who they're not going to get either. Or maybe they won't get Rebecca Gayheart if they don't come up and then they're a guest short. That's the beauty of publicist. And who suffers? We all do.

6:50 Drew The consumer.

6:51 Adam That's right.

6:52 Drew We are kept from the star, the shining, your eminence.

6:58 Adam That's right.

7:00 Drew Stay out 15 minutes later before we are basking in the glow of your narcissistic extreme.

7:06 Adam Thank you. Thank you very much. And that is very true. And it's just a reason 1457 to hate publicists, everybody. Oh, you weak, poor, pathetic bastards. Please kill yourselves, all of you. Just even the playing field and let the chips fall where they may. Can you do that? And I couldn't imagine, see, I wouldn't want a publicist because the last thing I would want is somebody doing something they didn't want.

7:34 Drew Right.

7:35 Adam You know, it's like I should get a publicist for dating.

7:38 Drew Right.

7:38 Adam I could get chicks to go out with me who really didn't want to go out with me.

7:42 Drew Adam.

7:42 Adam And maybe get a BJ out of it because my guy represented George Clooney as well or something. I should look into that. There really needs to be publicists for things other than the entertainment field. But, oh, do I hate you horrible people. Oh, please. You know how much? 15, what's yours cost? $1,500 a month?

8:01 Drew I don't have one right now.

8:02 Adam Oh, you don't? What happened?

8:04 Drew Long story.

8:05 Adam Really? Good. You cut that baggage loose. Thank God. Drew had horrible publicists. No. Fifteen, yeah. Well, you cut them loose for a reason. $1,500 a month, everybody. You know what kind of car you can drive for $1,500 a month? Drew, you drive a very nice BMW. What's that? $600, $700 a month? Yeah. So do the math, everybody. Publicists, pains in everyone's ass. Please, go to work somewhere abroad. Leave the country. I can't stand these people.

8:36 Drew Tom? I would recommend these guys. They were good.

8:38 Adam Your guys?

8:39 Drew Yeah, they were good. They were nice, too.

8:40 Adam Why did you fire them?

8:42 Drew It's a long story.

8:42 Adam Are you talking about Marlena?

8:44 Drew Yeah.

8:44 Adam Oh, you hated them. They were hateful.

8:46 Drew No, I didn't.

8:47 Adam Oh, they were horrible. You hated them.

8:49 Drew I did not.

8:50 Adam Well, I did.

8:51 Drew Yes, that's true.

8:52 Adam Tom?

8:53 Drew That is true.

8:54 Adam Tom, you're 15.

8:56 Caller Yeah. First of all, I want to say Adam, you're the funniest man in the world.

8:59 Adam Oh, there you go. That's why I should go on Killborn first, right?

9:02 Caller Yes, that is.

9:03 Adam Thank you.

9:04 Caller And I was listening a couple weeks ago, and you had that real bad show with the way with the stepfather. I was just rolling on the floor.

9:10 Drew Oh, stepfather, stepfather, stepfather.

9:12 Yeah, stepfather.

9:13 Adam No.

9:13 Drew There she is. Wait, wait, can we hear her again, please?

9:15 Stepfather.

9:16 Drew There she was.

9:17 Adam Yeah.

9:17 Caller I was rolling on the floor, and it was like 2 3rd in the morning here, and I woke my parents up. It was so loud.

9:23 Adam Thank you, Tom.

9:24 Caller Anyway, after I masturbate, I'm like depressed for an hour, and I want to know why. Because I mean, I just.

9:30 Drew You feel ashamed?

9:31 Adam No.

9:32 Caller No, I've been doing it for like three years.

9:34 Adam Yeah.

9:35 Drew If you felt ashamed, you wouldn't keep doing it.

9:36 Adam No, he has a feeling of loss.

9:39 Caller Yeah.

9:39 Adam For me, I can break masturbation up like people break up morning. First, there's denial. I did not. I did what? That? That's not birdcraft on my belly. What are you talking about? Then there's anger. I'm mad at my penis. Damn you. Why did you force me to do it? Then eventually, acceptance, all right? I'll do it again tomorrow. Tomorrow? Well, tomorrow if it's 11.30 in the evening now, and tomorrow meaning like 12.08. But Tom, are you a religious guy? Not really. Does it feel like a biological event?

10:20 Drew Like a letdown, right.

10:22 Adam Good question. I used to get depressed when I played sports after a football game. It was such a letdown. You know what I mean?

10:31 Caller It's kind of like why did I do this? I'm really enjoying it when it's happening, and then after it's over, I'm like, God, why did I waste my time on this? It's all gone at once.

10:41 Adam Well, how much time are you wasting on it?

10:43 Caller Between 15 minutes and a half hour.

10:45 Adam All right. Well, listen, you have to tweak your form a little bit. I'd like to see that shaved down to eight or nine minutes in the next few months. You think you could do that?

10:56 Caller Yeah. I think so.

10:58 Adam All right. Well, there you go. See, once you don't invest too much time in it, then it's no big deal, because how much time did you waste?

11:03 Drew It doesn't feel bad about it. Guys that age, though, can feel ashamed and sort of worthless, and they should have been using that energy in a more directed way, so, you know.

11:12 Adam All right, but here's my point. You're in. Game on.

11:16 Drew Well, let's put it this way. The shame is not going to get him to stop.

11:19 Adam Right.

11:19 Drew Yeah.

11:20 Adam So, I mean, if you're not going to stop, just do it.

11:23 Drew Me and my eyes will enjoy it. But his thinking was, no, I'm not ashamed, because I've been doing it for three years. In other words, if I'd been ashamed, I should have stopped, right?

11:30 Adam Right.

11:30 Drew No, you could feel like a murderer. He wouldn't stop.

11:34 Right.

11:34 Adam So you're doing it. So is everyone else. Fine. Jimmy?

11:39 Yeah.

11:39 Adam You're 24.

11:40 Caller That's right.

11:41 Adam What's up?

11:42 Caller Yeah, I got a question for Dr. Drew. My girlfriend's a virgin, right? And I'm like, she don't want to use no rubber or nothing. And she don't take birth control. So I don't want to get her pregnant on our first time. You got any suggestions?

11:58 Drew I'm stumped. What is it you have in mind?

12:02 Adam She have gum in your penis.

12:04 Drew Ooh. Even that will leak around the edges.

12:06 Adam That was a good one, though.

12:08 Caller Don't they feel like Monoxidil 9 or something like that?

12:10 Drew No, that won't do it. That's not going to help you. Why not wear a condom?

12:14 Caller She don't want to. She wants to feel it naturally. She's waited all her life for this.

12:18 Adam How old is she?

12:21 Drew And then why doesn't she behave like an otherwise responsible adult and get on some birth control then?

12:25 Caller I have no idea.

12:26 Drew All right. Well, that would be the...

12:28 Adam It sums up with her, though. Why is she a virgin at twenty-four?

12:33 Caller Religious.

12:34 Adam Yeah. Yeah. And why is she giving it up now?

12:38 Caller Marriage.

12:38 Drew Yeah.

12:39 Adam Are you getting married?

12:40 Drew Yeah.

12:40 Caller I'm a marrier.

12:41 Adam When are you going to marry her?

12:42 Caller In September.

12:44 Adam Oh, all right. Well, listen. Tell her to get on the pill in October or something. I know. Wait a minute. That's after September. Tell her to get on in August.

12:53 Drew Right now.

12:54 Adam Right now. Then you all be ready for your honeymoon.

12:58 Drew Okay. She needs to be responsible about this.

13:01 Adam Or get her pregnant. You're married. What the hell?

13:03 Drew Well, 24. Or you should get that emergency contraception and keep it around in case she doesn't do it.

13:09 Adam Well, how do you know? I mean, listen, she's 24 years old. She's getting married. She's going to act like an adult. Something's up with her, though.

13:17 Oh, yeah.

13:18 Adam Why is that? Why can't we just say, well, she's religious? You know what I mean?

13:23 Drew Well, that doesn't fully explain the picture, though, does it? It's that she has got some sort of guilt and some sort of inability to maturely approach this problem.

13:33 Adam Yeah. You know what? She doesn't want it to seem like first-degree intercourse. Right. She doesn't want it to seem premeditated.

13:41 Drew Well, that's what people get. They get a certain level of denial about the fact that they're planning to have sex, but if I'm planning to, then I must be dirty or bad or something's wrong with me, so I can't plan it. Therefore, it gets very circular.

13:53 Adam As opposed to it just happening, in which case, it just happened.

13:56 Drew I had nothing to do with it, it just happened.

13:58 Adam All right. Well, you're getting married. Get her on the birth control. Richard?

14:01 Yeah.

14:02 Adam You're 18. What's up?

14:03 Caller Yeah.

14:05 Caller I dated this girl for about a year, and it was the first serious relationship I've had, and during that time, it's like, when we were doing our thing, she already told me that she didn't want to have sex and stuff, and during that time while we were doing our thing, sometimes I went too far, you know, and I guess I kinda pushed her too far sometime, and she got kinda sick of it, I guess, or whatever her case is, that she broke up with me, and she doesn't really wanna get back with me.

14:41 Adam Yeah.

14:41 Drew What's your question?

14:42 Caller And I mean, I just wanna know what I can do to, like, try to get back with her.

14:48 Adam Well, the first thing you can do is turn your goddamn TV set down, you idiot.

14:53 Drew Probably, Richard.

14:54 Adam And number two is, she don't wanna be with you, and she really never did that much.

14:59 Yeah.

15:00 Adam Hence the, I'm not gonna have sex proclamation at the beginning of the relationship. Yeah. She never really was too into it, Richard.

15:08 Drew But I would, I would.

15:09 We are still friends, we are still friends.

15:11 Adam Oh, all right, well then that's it, you're getting married.

15:13 Drew Look, Richard, she has made it clear she doesn't wanna get back. Why waste your time trying to force somebody to do something they don't wanna do? Why don't you get on with this and get another relationship going?

15:22 Adam All right, well this is a good time to bring this up, which is, when you're young, guys do this especially, women give you reasons why they can't be with you.

15:33 Drew And you're ready to take them.

15:35 Adam Yeah, but oftentimes they give you those reasons because they're being kind.

15:38 Drew Nice, yeah, but you're ready to take them and attack them, take them apart.

15:43 Adam Right, they're gonna lay out reason A, B, and C, why it is, and you're gonna turn it into a court room.

15:51 Drew Right.

15:51 Adam And you're gonna get a good lawyer, and you're gonna say, well, okay, that's true, my client did this on such, on said night, but understand extenuating circumstances, so on and so forth. And you'll explain A away, and you'll explain B away, and then you'll promise never to do C again. But the reality is, is she's not with you because she doesn't want to be with you.

16:11 Drew Right.

16:12 Adam She wants to break up.

16:13 Yeah.

16:13 Adam That is a sort of ultimate bottom line that you can't get around, and you, and maybe it's women, maybe women ought to just, I don't know, Stop with the excuses. They ought to just say, listen, I'm going lesbian. I mean, or if they're going to make an excuse, go with an extreme one.

16:30 Caller Yeah.

16:30 Adam Fake a death, what have you. But the point is, is they give a guy a reason. I've had a hundred reasons why it wasn't going to work out, and I just went ahead to prove them wrong on those reasons, and then when I was done making my case, all we were left with was she not wanting to be with me.

16:46 Drew Yeah.

16:46 Adam Which is what you're left with.

16:47 Drew In a weird, uncomfortable situation.

16:49 Adam Thank you, yeah. John?

16:52 Yes.

16:52 Adam You're 20.

16:53 Caller Yeah.

16:53 Adam What's up?

16:54 My problem is no matter how long I date a girl or how my feelings are for the girl, as soon as we have sex, I want nothing to do with that person whatsoever.

17:02 Adam All right.

17:03 Drew How many times has this happened?

17:04 Like every time I've ever been intimate with somebody.

17:07 Drew Oh, Adam, you get that? How many times? Every time.

17:10 Adam All right. So that means eight.

17:13 It's probably been about 15 times total.

17:15 Drew 15 times.

17:15 Caller Really? Wow.

17:18 Adam How's your mom?

17:19 My mom, she's fine.

17:21 Adam You like her?

17:22 Yeah.

17:23 Adam Really?

17:23 Get along with my mom fine.

17:25 Adam Yeah. But you have a problem with women.

17:27 Caller What's that? What?

17:29 Adam What are you getting, Drew?

17:31 Drew It's just something just generally just isn't into relationships and isn't into being intimate.

17:37 Adam You're 20 years old too. That can happen.

17:40 Caller But I mean, no matter if I really like the girl and it's been an ongoing relationship, as soon as we reach intimacy.

17:47 Adam Well, do you have low self-esteem?

17:48 Caller No, not really at all.

17:49 Drew Are you disgusted afterwards?

17:51 Caller No, it's not that. It's just, I don't know. It's just like all those feelings I had disappear and I have a real guilty feeling.

17:57 Drew Guilty feeling. Interesting.

18:00 Adam You're religious?

18:01 Drew No. No, Adam.

18:02 Adam Listen, I-

18:03 Drew You're going to the path of worship.

18:05 Adam I'm just poking around, you jackass. Well, I don't need service from you from asking questions.

18:11 Drew Is it guilty because you really see what it was that was motivating you to try to sleep with the person? It wasn't that you really liked him, it was just you had this sort of impulse to be physical with her.

18:21 Caller Well, I mean, with some of them, it was just like a one-night stand.

18:24 Drew Yeah, and that's my question, though. Is it that really you realize it wasn't that you wanted to be with the person, you just wanted to have sex with that person?

18:30 Caller Not in all cases. Some of these have been like relationships and I cared deeply about the person.

18:35 Adam And you broke it off after you had sex.

18:37 Caller It's not that I really told him I didn't want to see him anymore. It's like I kind of stopped talking to him.

18:41 Drew The feelings just went away.

18:43 Adam You didn't want to have sex with them again?

18:45 Caller No, it's just I...

18:46 Drew One of this is that I wouldn't be a member of a club that would have me as a member.

18:48 Adam Well, that's what I was saying with the low self-esteem. Listen, there's one of three things. Either you come from some sort of f-ed up situation...

18:59 Drew Severe intimacy problem, yeah.

19:00 Adam Yeah, like your mom pulled their teat out of your mouth too early or something.

19:05 Drew Right, right.

19:06 Caller Well, my dad was never really around.

19:08 Drew Right, took off. Yeah, that's kind of what I was getting.

19:10 Adam All right, all right. Well, something on the home front. But the point is, is I mean, you probably didn't grow up with a good example of a loving, intimate relationship. Is that right, John?

19:21 Caller Yeah.

19:22 Adam All right, so...

19:22 Drew I'm so scared.

19:23 Adam Okay, so you're 20 years old.

19:25 Caller Okay.

19:25 Adam So, you know, you read a book, you take a walk, you get a little therapy, you have a few more dates, and a couple of years, it solves itself.

19:32 Caller All right.

19:33 Adam And then you get hit by a truck.

19:34 Caller All right. And can you do a Tim Impression for me later on?

19:37 Drew Russian rapper?

19:38 Adam Tim the Russian rapper?

19:39 Caller Yes.

19:40 Adam Yeah, I can do that.

19:41 Caller All right, because me and all my friends love your Tim Impression.

19:43 Caller All right.

19:44 Adam Where are you working, by the way?

19:45 Caller What?

19:45 Caller At a gas station.

19:46 Adam Good times. All right. Where are you?

19:48 Caller I was going to college, so...

19:49 Adam Really? You're not in Southern California?

19:52 Caller No.

19:52 Adam No way. Yeah, yeah. You know why?

19:54 Drew I speak English.

19:55 Adam He speaks English and he didn't start yelling and throw candy and cigarettes at us.

20:00 Drew Speaking of that, I...

20:01 Adam Oh, you bastards. All you bastards in Southern California work at gas stations. I hope you all die in the same boat with the publicist.

20:08 Drew I really do. I was haunted today by that guy that gave us such a thing of cirrus last night. I mean, the guy, that jerk with the wife that only had had sex with him three times in a year or something.

20:18 Adam Yeah.

20:19 Drew Or once even three years.

20:20 Adam Yeah. Yeah, he was great.

20:21 Drew He just haunted me today. I was like, ugh.

20:23 Adam Yeah, he was classic. The only thing that really bugs me about this show, besides Drew and I getting paid the same amount, even though I do 75% of the work, and the horrible equipment here at Westwood, too, is when horrible callers, male or female, and both for different reasons, but male or female, when they have kids, and they're horrible people. You know what I'm saying? This guy called in last night. He had had sex with his wife once every three years. At first, he sounded concerned. We suggested they get a little marital counseling, and then he started going off on this jag about wasting his money sitting around talking to some rent-a-friend or something, and he ended up hanging up on us, and he turned out to be just sort of a colossal idiot, and then I thought about that guy.

21:09 Drew Those two kids.

21:10 Adam And his two kids, and then I thought, you know what I'd really like to do? I would like to start a service that goes around to young kids and explains what uneducated, misinformed idiots their parents are and not to listen to them and or look up to them, because that's the real tragedy. The problem is, is when you're three, four, eight years old, whatever you are, your daddy, he's John Wayne, man. I mean, he's it. He's all men. If you're a little girl and you got an alcoholic, abusive, a-hole dad, he is all men. And he will be all men for a good, good, long, long time. And if I'd be all right with them living with them, as long as they didn't buy into it. Like if I said, I'd like to say to them, this is just a bad dream, honey. This guy, he may have, you know, you may have came down as urethra five years ago, but that's it. Don't worry. There's good guys out there. Most of them gay, but there's good guys out there. He ain't one of them. Don't listen to him. Don't look up to him. And when he gets drunk and beats on your mom or when he buys it in a motorcycle accident or when he gets sent to prison, it's okay. It ain't you. And you shouldn't look up to him.

22:28 Drew What we call those guys, that group, the organized.

22:31 Adam We call them, we call them the informants. Adam's informants.

22:35 Drew Panned Parenthood.

22:37 Adam What?

22:38 Drew Panned Parenthood.

22:39 Adam Panned Parenthood? Where's the panned come in?

22:41 Drew Panned. It's Panned. It's Panned. Badly reviewed. You reviewed badly.

22:44 Adam Oh, I see. Panned Parenthood.

22:45 Drew Panned Parenthood.

22:46 Adam Yes. We give him, we give him minus three stars and two thumbs down.

22:50 Drew That's right.

22:52 Adam All right. The part of the father was, Family Panneding. Yeah. The part of the father was played lacklusterly and showed, The cameo by the stepfather in Longaloo. Right.

23:07 Drew It was played with puckish verb.

23:10 Adam There you go. All right. We will take ourselves a little break. I got the bakhan like John McEnroe. That beach steps up, I'm smocking the hole. Yeah. That's Tim the Russian Rapper. That's right. All right. Well, maybe a little Tim the Russian Rapper. Again, the Long Beach Dub Allstars will be in here. They're coming from the Warped Tour and they should be pulling up in their van any moment now. So we'll talk to them. We'll talk to Tim. We'll talk to you after this. It is Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Long Beach Dub Allstars will be in here soon enough. They were doing the Warped Tour out in Anaheim, which is probably an hour from 45 minutes away from where we are, and they're just getting off stage a little late, and they were hustling over. So they should pile into the studio anytime now. Until then, we'll talk to Jeremy, who's 14, Jeremy.

24:46 Caller Hey, how's it going?

24:47 Adam Good. How you doing?

24:48 Caller The Man Show's awesome, man.

24:50 Adam Oh, thank you.

24:52 Caller Hey, I was just...

24:52 Drew You got that 14-year-old car out locked.

24:54 Adam You know what I wanted the slogan to be for the Man Show, but Comedy Central wouldn't let us do it, was, you'll laugh your jack off. You come up with something that brilliant, they don't let you put it on a poster. Doesn't that...

25:12 Drew You can keep chanting it here.

25:15 Adam Wouldn't you say that encompasses the show? Yeah. You'll laugh your jack off? Yeah. Yeah, thank you. All right. What's up there, Jeremy?

25:23 Caller I'd really like to wait and speak to Long Beach Dub Allstars.

25:27 Adam All right. Well, you can do that.

25:29 Drew Is that it?

25:30 Caller Yeah.

25:30 Drew All right, hold on.

25:31 Adam I'd like to keep you on the line while we're waiting, though, just with some idle chatter. They should be in here in about 20 minutes. Sweet. What do you like about the Man Show? Did you see it last week?

25:41 Caller No, I haven't catched in a long time.

25:42 Adam Oh, I see. All right.

25:44 Whatever.

25:45 Caller Sure.

25:46 Adam Where are you calling from, buddy?

25:47 Caller Fairfield, Ohio.

25:48 Adam Oh, hey, Fairfield.

25:50 Caller Yeah.

25:51 Drew Outside Akron.

25:52 Caller No, it's 30 minutes from Cincinnati.

25:55 Adam Yeah, right outside Cincinnati. How's it going over there?

25:59 Caller Yeah, it's pretty nice over here.

26:00 Adam Yeah. What is it about? Two hour time difference there?

26:03 What time is it over there? Three.

26:04 Drew It's actually East Coast time.

26:05 Adam The three? The three in Ohio?

26:07 It's Cleveland.

26:08 Drew It's three hours later.

26:10 Adam No, it's one twenty. Yeah, you got about three hours. No, it's three, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. What are you doing tomorrow?

26:16 Caller Hanging out.

26:17 Adam Yeah, just hanging?

26:18 Caller Just chilling.

26:18 Adam Yeah.

26:19 Caller Yeah.

26:21 Adam Do those guys hear you?

26:23 Drew No, about twenty more minutes.

26:24 Adam Yeah. Yeah. What are you out on summer break?

26:28 Caller Yep.

26:28 Adam Yeah. What are you going in? What are you going in? Tenth grade next year?

26:32 Caller Freshman.

26:33 Adam Freshman. Yeah. That's ninth grade, right?

26:35 Caller Yeah.

26:35 Adam Yeah. Yeah. That's a big step in high school. You going out for any sports?

26:41 Caller Wrestling and football.

26:42 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's good.

26:44 Drew What's the mascot?

26:45 Caller Whoopin Up.

26:46 Adam Yeah. What's the name of the high school team?

26:49 Caller The Fairfield Indians.

26:50 Adam The Fairfield Indians.

26:51 Caller Yeah.

26:52 Adam You guys don't have any problems with that?

26:54 Caller No, they're trying to get changed, though.

26:56 Adam Yeah. What do they want to get it to? The running Jews or something like that? What, the Dagos or something? What are they going to change it to?

27:05 Drew I have no idea.

27:06 Adam Yeah.

27:07 Drew All right. I was in Cleveland last week, and I was looking at the Indian logo. They have a beautiful stadium, and it's like the most denigrating sort of Warner Brothers cartoon picture of an Indian.

27:16 Adam Yeah, it's a crazy, big-nosed Indian.

27:18 Drew But it's like Kilroy was here.

27:20 Adam Too much fire water Indian. Yeah, it's not a proud Indian. It's not the kind of Indian that would be on a coin or something.

27:26 Drew It's the worst cartoon that Warner Brothers ever spit out.

27:30 Adam Yeah, skinny arms, big belly, and a big nose, and he's not holding a bottle of booze.

27:36 Drew With a target on his rear.

27:37 Adam He looks drunk though.

27:38 Drew Yeah.

27:39 Adam He's running with that tomahawk. Yeah. Yeah.

27:44 Drew This guy's here yet?

27:44 Adam Yeah, this guy's aren't here yet. What classes are you going to take next year?

27:53 Stuff.

27:53 Adam Yeah, just stuff?

27:54 Yeah, just stuff.

27:55 Adam Yeah, general stuff. Yeah.

27:58 Caller I don't know. My mom does that stuff.

28:00 Drew Mom picks it.

28:01 Adam Your mom takes care of the classes?

28:02 Drew Ceramics?

28:03 Adam Yeah.

28:03 Drew You ever think about majoring in ceramics?

28:05 Adam Ceramics. I was a ceramics major. Served me well. I'm literally a millionaire now, literally. Hey, Jeremy? Jeremy?

28:15 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

28:19 Adam Those guys are not here.

28:21 Caller Oh, man.

28:21 Adam Okay, buddy. Well, Jesus. What do you got? You'll be going for your learner's permit soon, right? Yeah. A couple years away. Yeah. Did dad ever let you drive the car? The van?

28:33 Caller What are you talking about?

28:34 Adam You got a car? You're folks? Yeah.

28:36 Caller Yeah, we got.

28:38 Adam You got any brothers or sisters?

28:40 Caller I got a sister.

28:41 Adam Yeah. Is she older or younger?

28:43 Caller Older.

28:44 Adam Yeah. Well, how old?

28:46 Caller She's in college.

28:47 Adam Oh, okay. Out of the house? Yeah. Where's she going to college?

28:53 Caller Miami. Miami, Oxford.

28:56 Adam No.

28:56 University of Oxford.

28:58 Adam Sure. I went there. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're the Indians too. All right, is Long Beach Dub Allstars here yet? All right. Hey, Jeremy?

29:07 Caller Yeah.

29:07 Adam Yeah, you know, my plan of keeping you on the air until they show up, it didn't seem like a... It's not working. On retrospect, it's not a great plan.

29:14 Caller Okay.

29:14 Adam All right, so I'm going to put you on hold, all right?

29:16 Caller Sweet.

29:17 Adam It was nice getting to know you, okay?

29:19 Caller Okay.

29:19 Adam All right, hold on there. I wish someone would have taken the time to ask me those kinds of questions when I was 14. Corbin?

29:27 Caller What's up?

29:28 Adam You're 17?

29:29 Caller Yes, I am.

29:30 Adam What's up?

29:31 Caller I have two questions.

29:34 Caller Okay, yeah, my penis, right?

29:37 Drew Right.

29:37 Caller It's growing hair, and I want to know if it'll be a problem, like if it'll be hairy, like the pubic area or my ball sack.

29:47 Adam Your ball sack is?

29:49 Drew Ball sack is one of the things they sell at the Universal Studios.

29:53 Adam I thought the ball sacks invaded the Huns or something.

29:58 Drew He wrote it. He was an author in France.

30:00 Adam Oh, yes. Maybe that's right.

30:05 Caller Because I have hairy balls and I see the hair particles growing.

30:10 Adam Yeah. They'll never make it to the end. You'll be fine.

30:13 Caller Because I have some hair coming out already.

30:16 Drew That's all right.

30:17 Adam That's all right.

30:17 Drew You can relax.

30:18 Caller It's cool. Yeah.

30:19 Adam You're okay.

30:20 Caller All right. And my second question is...

30:23 Drew Oh. What did he do?

30:25 Adam Drop off?

30:25 Drew Anderson would have blocked that one, I think.

30:27 Adam Anderson didn't... He didn't like the hum on his line?

30:30 Drew He knew he was building up to something.

30:32 Adam Really?

30:32 Drew Yeah. I think he's right.

30:34 Adam Well, how does he know?

30:35 Drew How do we know things sometimes?

30:38 Adam Oh, I don't know. We're paid to know stuff. Anderson, put him back on. How dare you? Corbin?

30:44 Caller Yes.

30:44 Adam All right. What's your second question?

30:46 Caller Okay. Now, I have a blister kind of thing around where I was circumcised and it's black.

30:57 Adam Yeah.

30:58 Caller And I want to know if that's some sort of...

31:00 Drew Just an old scar probably.

31:02 Adam Are you black?

31:03 Caller No, I'm not black.

31:04 Adam Okay. Now, listen, a lot of guys, they get circumcised, they get some scar tissue and they get some discoloration down there. So all bets are off. Eh, chicks don't care about that. They don't? Just keep the lights off.

31:19 Drew How much prettier can it get?

31:21 Adam The penis?

31:22 Caller Yeah.

31:23 Adam I think women are all right with the aesthetics of most penises. It's the ball sack that they have difficulty with. They're not crazy about that area.

31:32 Drew You know those balls in a globe, like a canvas globe, you seen them sell those ball sacks?

31:38 Adam A ball in a canvas globe?

31:40 Drew In a sack, yeah.

31:42 Adam Where?

31:43 Drew At Universal Studios CityWalk, places like that.

31:45 Adam Listen, I don't have kids. I don't hang around at those tourist traps like you do. Drew spends a month at the Disneyland Hotel with his entire family. You're going to ruin those kids. Everything's going to be big letdown. They're going to leave the nest. It's going to be one big letdown. Or maybe you're smart. Maybe they'll just hate all that crap.

32:06 Drew Yeah.

32:06 Adam They'll love Top Ramen and property, renting movies and sitting home. Your kids will heat up cans of corn on the stove and eat it with a plastic spoon and urinate in the sink like I do, and they'll probably be happy.

32:23 Drew See.

32:23 Adam Yeah.

32:24 Drew That's a good strategy. You can end up like you with a pleasant childhood too.

32:27 Adam That's true.

32:28 Drew Literally.

32:28 Adam Jessica?

32:29 Yeah.

32:30 Adam You're 13. What's up?

32:34 Caller I masturbate like maybe four to five times on a good day, and I was wondering what's normal.

32:44 Drew That's the head of the curve.

32:45 Adam For a 13-year-old girl. Yeah. That's pretty good. Anything ever happen to you?

32:50 No.

32:52 Caller Not when I was like, no, not really.

32:55 Drew Oh, boy. Adam, anything ever happen to you? No.

33:00 Adam What happened?

33:02 Drew What not really happened?

33:05 Caller I wasn't molested or anything.

33:07 Adam Well, okay.

33:09 Drew What did happen?

33:10 Caller Nothing. My parents got divorced when I was really young, and I was going to a lot of tough times and stuff.

33:19 Drew A lot of tough times?

33:20 Caller Yeah. Okay. Because my mom and dad got divorced when I was like two.

33:27 Drew Do you do drugs or alcohol yourself?

33:29 Caller No.

33:29 Drew Is there a family history of alcoholism?

33:33 Caller My dad was an alcoholic.

33:35 Drew Okay. Sometimes alcoholics use sexuality as a way of managing feelings and they get sort of compulsive about it more than the average person would.

33:44 Adam Are you a virgin?

33:45 Caller Yeah.

33:46 Drew I'm just worried this may be a sign that you got that gene.

33:49 Adam All right. So here's what Drew's saying and it's kind of interesting, which is you have the alcoholic gene, which doesn't necessarily mean you're going to be an alcoholic. It just means you're going to get into stuff, could be gambling, could be drugs.

34:03 Drew Things that feel good to you feel extra good.

34:05 Adam You do a lot of them.

34:06 Drew Right.

34:07 Adam That's really what that gene is.

34:09 Drew Well, it's two things. Is it things that all humans like to do because it feels good, but it feels extra good to them. So they use it more when they're feeling bad because it works so well. But the more treacherous part is that after you've done that a few times, it triggers an autonomous drive that requires you to keep going after these stimuli even when they don't work anymore.

34:30 Adam All right. So, and then the point is is something like this could then transfer to some substance at some point, maybe soon. So, what should Jessica do?

34:41 Drew Have you been depressed?

34:42 Caller No, I'm not depressed at all.

34:43 At all.

34:45 Caller I get like good grades on school.

34:46 Drew Are you bored?

34:48 Caller Huh?

34:48 Drew Do you get bored easily?

34:50 Caller No.

34:50 Drew No.

34:51 Adam All right. Well, how about, why don't you, if it feels a little excessive to you, why don't you just try to exercise a little restraint?

34:58 Caller Okay.

34:58 Adam Like, you know.

34:59 Drew Literally exercise.

35:00 Adam Yeah, why don't you go out and run around the block? I mean, every time you feel like masturbating, do a push up.

35:06 Caller Okay.

35:08 Drew Adam, that's your advice. I want you to do that for two days.

35:11 Adam Say a hundred Hail Marys.

35:12 Drew I want you to do that for two days and see what happens.

35:14 Adam I hit myself in the penis with a Bible every time I feel like masturbating.

35:18 Drew And you can stop at 500 push ups.

35:20 Adam Jesus Christ, what a build I'd have. I'd be doing calendars right now when I'm being here. I'd be so good looking, I'd be doing like three and four month calendars. I'd be the only guy out there who had a four month calendar. I was that built. Now, listen, this is boredom, this is depression, and this is a whole bunch of other stuff. You're 13, you have to spend X amount of time in a pool. That's it.

35:44 Drew Swimming?

35:44 Adam You got frolic, whatever.

35:46 Drew Water's 13 year old, that's a trouble.

35:48 Adam There's not enough Marco Polo going on these days.

35:50 Drew I see, no more activity, that's true.

35:52 Adam I spent the better part of my life playing Marco Polo. Thank goodness too, because I like the ceramics major in high school, it's really paying dividends today. Really paying off. So anyway, I don't know, limit yourself to once a day, Janice? Janice?

36:09 Yes?

36:10 Adam You're 30, what's up?

36:11 Caller Well, I have a hard time climaxing with traditional vaginal sex.

36:17 Adam Oh, I hear you.

36:19 Caller Pardon me?

36:20 Adam Yeah, me too.

36:23 Caller So, I tend to prefer anal sex.

36:27 Adam Drew too.

36:28 Caller If there's going to be a long term problem with that, are there any side effects?

36:32 Drew Are you having any problems?

36:35 Caller No, not that I know of, but.

36:37 Adam How much anal sex are you doing in lineal feet? I mean, how often are you engaging in anal sex?

36:45 Drew Would that be, how would you measure it?

36:47 Caller I'd measure it three times a week.

36:48 Adam Well, here's how you would measure anal sex in lineal feet.

36:52 Drew Each plunge would be measured end to end?

36:55 Adam If a man had a six inch penis, when he plunged in once, that's six inches, cha-ching, six inches, pulled out, plunged in again. So for every two plunges.

37:04 Drew 12 inches.

37:05 Adam That's a foot.

37:06 Drew I see.

37:06 Adam OK.

37:07 Drew So is that the different penises lined up end to end?

37:10 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no, not at all. So that's how you measure anal sex in lineal feet. I think the Europeans do it that way.

37:17 Drew Well, clearly.

37:18 Adam Well, it's metric, metric, of course. But the point is, is so 10 feet would represent 20 plunges.

37:27 Drew Yes.

37:27 Adam If the guy had a six inch penis.

37:29 Drew 20. Yes, right.

37:30 Adam That'd be 20 lineal feet.

37:32 Drew Got it.

37:32 Adam And the average anal sex plunge number is between 85 and 105 plunges.

37:41 Drew In your study.

37:42 Adam In, according to my clinical study. So, therefore, it'd be around.

37:46 Drew Yours is on heterosexual?

37:46 Adam It'd be about 50 feet per anal sex encounter.

37:53 Drew Given that data.

37:54 Adam So, if you're doing more than, let's say, 2,000 or 3,000 lineal feet a year, you may do some damage to that area, according to my study.

38:03 Drew Okay.

38:03 Adam Now, we're going to try to find that out with Janice. Janice, how long is your husband's penis?

38:09 Caller It's about seven and a half, eight and a half.

38:11 Adam Okay, now that's really hard to calculate.

38:13 Caller Well, you know, when I was thinking the math you were talking about would be very difficult to do while having sex.

38:18 Adam I know, but you get a little clicker counter just like a bouncer does in front of a club.

38:23 Caller Okay.

38:23 Adam You know, the guys coming in, chink, chink, chink, chink, chink, chink, chink, chink, you know, they can get five, 600 people in there and know exactly the head count.

38:30 Caller Okay. And then I would wait until afterwards to calculate and find out exactly how much damage is occurring.

38:36 Adam Right. So he, it's seven, it's seven and a quarter. It would take like, instead of two plunges, it'd be like 1.85 plunges per foot. Okay. Now, how many times a week are you engaging in this?

38:51 Caller Probably about three, two to three.

38:52 Adam Two to three times. And how long is he back there usually?

38:58 Caller Anywhere from 10 to 15 minutes maybe.

39:01 Adam 10 to 15 minutes, because there's usually about 18 plunges per minute, so 10 minutes, 10 to 15, you could be 250, 225 plunges. Oh, you're really in what I call the danger of brown zones here, Janice. Are you using a sufficient lubricant?

39:24 Caller Absolutely.

39:25 Adam Okay.

39:25 Caller A lot of KY.

39:26 Drew All right. You could cause some anal pathology. There is certainly such a thing. And I don't know how much risk there is, frankly, but...

39:34 Adam Doesn't your body sort of tell you when you're doing it damage?

39:38 Drew Yeah, it hurts.

39:39 Adam Sometimes. Most of the time.

39:41 Drew You worry that the muscle down there could be sort of, you know, changed, unlike the vagina, which is designed to take a good deal of stretching.

39:49 Adam All right. But let me ask about the ass for just one moment here.

39:52 Drew Please. I know this is one of your favorite topics. Plunge on.

39:56 Adam Okay. The vagina, the vagina, is it always open to some degree? We have a OBGYN here.

40:03 Drew Actually, there's some with arousal, there's some opening.

40:05 Adam Back is to me right now. But is the actual, is the vagina?

40:09 Drew No, it's usually closed. During arousal, though, it can open a little bit.

40:12 Adam Is it clamped shut? You mean all day while chicks are at work? Is the vagina closed?

40:17 Drew Yeah, for the most part, yeah.

40:19 Adam Closed? But it's not closed like your anus is closed.

40:22 Drew No, that's true.

40:23 Adam Because my anus is puckered like it's just a bit of lemon.

40:26 Drew Yeah.

40:27 Adam You know what I'm saying? I understand. So then the anus is, I mean, it's really clamped shut all day. Then you have a bowel movement and the thing opens up. I've taken a micrometer to most of my movements, and they're about the width of a good penis, oftentimes.

40:46 Drew Well, you compare it to yours.

40:53 Adam The point is, is the duke is about the width of a penis, right?

41:00 Drew Are you high?

41:01 Adam I'm not high. I'm not. I should be. But isn't, isn't, I mean, you tell me what is larger, the average penis, in circumference, or the average bowel movement?

41:11 Drew The average penis.

41:12 Adam The average penis?

41:13 Drew Yeah.

41:14 Adam I don't know. You ought to come over to my house. Especially if, like, I made barbecue this weekend. I think you should come by.

41:22 Drew Yeah. I'm telling you.

41:24 Adam Okay. The average penis is marginally wider around than the average bowel movement. But I've certainly let some go that are wider, and my penis are many a penis. I really am. Relax over there, Anderson. I'm on a roll here. So therefore-

41:41 Drew Somebody has a musical top comedy too in there.

41:43 Adam The anus is made to expand and contract quite a bit.

41:47 Drew Yeah.

41:48 Adam So like the vagina, maybe it can handle.

41:50 Drew Not like the vagina. Not a baby's head. Not a baby's head coming out of your anus.

41:55 Adam My buddy Chris let a duke go so big once that it spun around when we flushed it and left a continuous hash mark, a halo of crap unbroken all the way around the toilet until it cracked in the middle from its own weight and went down. That was bigger than a baby's head. All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. We're going to pursue this more. Hopefully, Long Beach Dub Allstars will be here after this.

42:21 Drew Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

42:24 Adam Well, it's worth hearing. It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Okay. Back to bowel movement.

43:00 Drew I think, in fact, I have to sort of close this topic. A, I was talking to the obstetrician outside who said the vagina is closed all the time. It is. Collapsed. Well, I mean, although I'll tell you with arousal, it will open.

43:09 Adam Through my experience, it is not only closed, but it has a sign on it.

43:14 Drew Off-limits.

43:15 Adam Out to lunch. Yeah.

43:16 Drew Dangerous.

43:16 Adam My vagina is the size of a 50-gallon drum.

43:19 Drew Now, as far as the anal sex thing, people can cause hemorrhoids and rips and pathology, and you have to wear condom because you can transmit sexually transmitted diseases and get infection. It's worth noting that it's...

43:32 Adam Okay. Here's my layman's point with the anus. I would like my anus to be the last part that wears out on me. I want it to be the last thing that goes.

43:44 Drew This is what you pray about at night?

43:46 Adam I break the body up into parts, brain, heart, lungs.

43:49 Drew Yeah, the brain, heart.

43:50 Adam All that stuff. That I don't need. Or it could go. I could make it the last few years without that.

43:55 Drew Were you traumatized seeing your grandfather or something?

43:57 Adam I'm just saying...

43:58 Drew When did you get this plan?

43:59 Adam I would like my anus to go either the day my heart goes or the day after. I like my anus to go when I'm in the casket.

44:09 Drew We can get a colostrum for you.

44:11 Adam No. Just bypass it. See, that's my point. I don't want my anus to wear out before my other parts do.

44:16 Drew But I'm just saying before it does, we can just bypass the whole thing.

44:20 Adam Oh, and save the mileage. In a way, like putting a car up on blocks?

44:25 Drew No, no, no. Just before it wears out, just put it on, put it, shelve it, get rid of it.

44:30 Caller Hmm.

44:31 Drew Do away with it.

44:32 Adam I'd like to wait till it goes before I shelve it.

44:35 Drew Well, you said you didn't want to experience that.

44:37 Adam I could handle the hour and a half it took me to drive into the surgery room. That's all I'm saying. But my point is, is I don't want too much trauma to that area. All right, Drew, Long Beach Dub Allstars theoretically are going to be walking in here. And God knows what kind of shape, by the way, after the Warped Tour in the Long Van Ride over here. But they should be coming in here soon. Sierra?

45:00 Yep.

45:01 Adam You're 14. What's up?

45:03 Caller Okay, like I'm bisexual, okay?

45:05 Caller I'm like, I've been with chicks and I've been with guys.

45:08 Drew 14.

45:09 Caller Yes.

45:11 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. What's going on in the background there?

45:15 Caller Oh, it's my radio.

45:16 Adam All right.

45:16 Caller Do I need to turn it down?

45:18 Adam Yeah, hold on. Oh, idiots. Suzette?

45:22 Caller Hello?

45:23 Adam You're 16. You fantasize about rough sex?

45:26 Caller Yeah. First of all, I want to say, Dr. Drew, I love you.

45:30 Drew Thank you, Suzette.

45:31 Caller Okay. Well, I have a normal life, right? I'm going to be 17 and I'm going to graduate high school this year. And I just like, every time I think about it, it's like, I have to have rough sex. I don't like it, like, soft, like, you know, it's just, I want to, I want to be dominated and submissive into having it.

45:51 Adam Yeah. How much rough sex have you had?

45:54 Caller Well, not a lot. Like, all the guys I've been with, they like, they do it slow and stuff.

46:00 Adam Yeah.

46:00 Caller I don't like that.

46:01 Adam High school boys. I'd show you a good time.

46:03 Drew Are you able to tell them that?

46:05 Caller Actually, the guy I'm with now, I tell him, but he said he can't do it.

46:11 Adam Well, how much rough sex do you want?

46:14 Caller Like, I just want to be like, I guess, like held down and like forced to do it.

46:22 Drew If anything, I want to be dominated.

46:24 Adam Oh, Drew, please. Do you want like rape scenarios?

46:28 Caller Yeah.

46:28 Adam You do? And so what happened? Anything ever happen to you?

46:32 Caller Well, my mom used to beat me.

46:34 Drew Okay.

46:34 Caller Well, there you go.

46:35 Adam Where's your dad?

46:37 Caller Well, my dad lives in Meriden.

46:40 Caller He's far away.

46:41 Adam Where are you calling from?

46:42 Caller Connecticut.

46:43 Adam Oh, I see. All right.

46:44 Drew Connecticut?

46:46 Caller Yeah.

46:47 Adam Oh, yeah. We're on Connecticut. We're on the buzz over there. What? We're on the quiet storm. What goes on? Why did your mom beat you? What? Is she Italian or Mexican? No. She's Puerto Rican. Oh, well, there you go. That's Mexican and Italian. I knew it. When moms start beating, that's a wacky nationality. It's true. All right. So you got a crazy, hot-blooded Puerto Rican mom, and she smacked you around. And now you bring that into the bedroom. All right.

47:23 Drew That's the way that works. Do you understand that, Suzette?

47:26 Caller Yeah.

47:27 Drew That those sorts of traumatic arousals in childhood then become sexual arousals later.

47:31 Caller But how can I, like, get over this, I guess?

47:36 Drew I'm not sure you can, really. I mean, I guess you could if you learned how to deal with aggressions differently.

47:39 Adam Well, okay. But what about this? What if she gets a little therapy for her mom beating her?

47:44 Drew Yeah.

47:45 Caller Yeah.

47:45 Adam This would probably not go away, but it would subside a little bit, wouldn't you say?

47:50 Drew I would think. And then maybe not make some bad choices with partners. And then if some of this is some of a sort of a preference, then it's not a big deal.

47:56 Caller Yeah.

47:56 Adam There's nothing wrong with a little rough trade. You just have to find the right guy. All right. We're going to take a little break. The Long Beach Dub Allstars are here. They're in fine form, as I said. What's that? Drinking a beer. And we'll bring the guys in and we'll be back after this. We'll be right back. Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, The Long Beach Dub Allstars. At least half of them have come in here. Opie Ross and Eric are all here just off the stage.

49:09 The Long Beach Dub Allstars What's up, people?

49:13 Adam Drew, quiet down now. I'm trying to get to the interview.

49:15 Caller Quiet, Ross.

49:16 Adam Through doing the Warped Tour, and that was at Anaheim. That was out in the parking lot, right? Yep. Now, the first I heard, I thought that was kind of weird that the event was going on in the parking lot of the venue, which is kind of strange, because it doesn't do that. I mean, where else do you go to a venue and go in the parking lot, and then why go to the venue if you're just going to go to the parking lot?

49:39 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, usually you sit in the parking lot and drink out of the back of your trailer hitch, you know?

49:43 Adam Right.

49:43 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Have a barbecue, and then you go in and you're already tossed, but instead of just having a...

49:48 Drew A big field somewhere.

49:49 Caller Basically, we're carnies, you know?

49:52 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, we're carnies.

49:53 Caller Carnies don't get to go inside apple fields.

49:55 Caller Porta parties are cool.

49:57 Adam Now, we had Papa Roach in here last night.

50:02 Caller Cockaroach?

50:03 Adam And they were talking about the Warped Tour. How many... And you guys are doing a leg of it, I'm sure.

50:11 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, we're doing the whole thing.

50:12 Adam Oh, you're doing the entire thing?

50:13 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, six weeks.

50:14 Adam Who's doing the entire thing? Because most...

50:16 Caller Not the Europe part.

50:17 Adam Most bands are doing... Most bands are doing like legs, right? Yeah, a few weeks, right?

50:22 The Long Beach Dub Allstars There's like five or six bands that are on the whole thing, like...

50:26 Caller Because they can't hang. We're going the whole way.

50:29 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Right.

50:30 Adam Right. Who else is going the whole way?

50:32 The Long Beach Dub Allstars NoFX is going the whole way. And who else?

50:37 Caller TS.

50:37 Caller Wall, of course.

50:39 The Long Beach Dub Allstars TS. Wall is only going halfway. Green Day. Nilly Vanilli.

50:43 Caller We wish TS. Wall was going the whole way.

50:45 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Mighty, Mighty Boss Tones.

50:46 Adam Are they... The Boss Tones going the whole way?

50:48 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah. Those guys are cool cats.

50:50 Adam I love them. Real nice guys.

50:51 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, really stand out.

50:53 Caller Actually, I don't know who's going like the whole way at all. It's that bus.

50:56 Adam And where does it go? You got to...

50:58 Caller I don't even know if we'll make it.

50:59 Adam You got to... We got tomorrow in Anaheim and then it's off to where?

51:06 Caller We're going to play the same exact set.

51:08 Adam Good. Everyone's so effed up, they'll never know.

51:13 The Long Beach Dub Allstars After Anaheim, where are we going from there?

51:16 Caller Canada.

51:19 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I think we're going...

51:19 Caller We're going to San Francisco.

51:22 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, we're going to San Francisco, man. Oh, good.

51:24 Caller San Fran Freak Show.

51:26 The Long Beach Dub Allstars You know that Long Beach is the only place besides Frisco with the biggest amount of homosexuals?

51:32 Caller Oh, really?

51:33 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Long Beach?

51:33 Caller Thank you, Ralph, for bringing that up.

51:35 Caller Every town must have a place for funny hippies. Meant psychedelic dungeons popping up on every street.

51:41 Drew You're gay.

51:49 Adam Wow.

51:50 Caller Frank Zappa for you there.

51:51 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Frank Zappa lives forever.

51:52 Caller Beautiful.

51:54 Adam All right. We will hear something from the Long Beach Dub Allstars.

51:58 Caller We're not here for Frank Zappa.

51:59 Adam Oh, actually, we just heard something, but-

52:01 Caller Just play Frank Zappa.

52:01 The Long Beach Dub Allstars There's a song called My Way when Sid was singing for us.

52:05 Adam No, we're gonna play My Own Life.

52:08 Caller All right, all right.

52:09 Adam All right, you down with that?

52:10 The Long Beach Dub Allstars That's the jam, man. Word up.

52:13 Adam Oh, but Anderson doesn't have the CD yet, does he? Oh, he does. All right, we're in good shape.

52:17 The Long Beach Dub Allstars We could hum a few bars.

52:18 Adam No, we got it. This is off of Right Back. This is My Own Life.

52:22 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Tim? Hey, we have to say, Fletcher told me that I have to have at least six patrol cars come to the DJ stand.

55:29 Adam What is, wait, where is Pennywise? What are they doing?

55:32 The Long Beach Dub Allstars They were chilling at the Warp Tour with us today.

55:34 Adam And how is Fletch?

55:35 Drew I saw him at the Weenie Roast.

55:37 Adam Oh no.

55:37 The Long Beach Dub Allstars We embraced.

55:38 Adam Oh, you did?

55:38 The Long Beach Dub Allstars We embraced.

55:39 Adam Oh, Jesus Christ. I heard he got conked in the head or something.

55:44 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, he did. Somebody had broke a bottle over his head and he was in the hospital, but he's fine though, he's fine.

55:49 Drew Would that make a difference to Fletch?

55:50 Adam Come on. No, listen.

55:52 The Long Beach Dub Allstars He can't hurt steel.

55:53 Adam No, you could drop a full keg out of an airplane on him and it wouldn't have done anything.

55:57 Caller He'd just be like, he wasn't doing anything wrong whatsoever either.

56:00 Adam He's all right. Now, what's he drinking? Has he switched to just beer?

56:04 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yes. Actually, he's got his hooked on Zima, dude.

56:07 Adam Oh, no.

56:08 The Long Beach Dub Allstars It's horrible. You know what I mean? Really? It's horrible.

56:11 Adam But he's not drinking. Was he off of hard stuff?

56:14 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I don't think... I think just every once in a while, he just has a blackout drunk. You know what I mean?

56:18 Drew He told me he was... He hasn't had any hard liquor since he was in here, but he's quadrupled down on the beer, of course.

56:25 Adam Oh, really? All right.

56:26 Caller He had a whole trunk full of alcohol.

56:28 Caller Since he saw TSOL play, he's cross-dressing now, from what I heard.

56:32 Drew Oh, that could be interesting.

56:34 The Long Beach Dub Allstars You ever seen Fletcher in a Moo Moo?

56:36 Adam No, no. I'm scared to see Fletcher...

56:39 Caller Dead sexy...

56:39 Adam .in a field, I'd be frightened.

56:43 Caller Oh, fast watch.

56:44 Drew His hand...

56:46 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Lookie.

56:47 Drew If he laid his hand on Adam or my back, our backs would disappear.

56:52 Adam Yeah, he's really...

56:53 Caller He said you called your lawyer.

56:55 Adam The only guy bigger than Fletcher is Tim Robbins, Tony Robbins, the motivational speaker who comes out with all those cassettes and everything, with the guy with the huge head and teeth.

57:06 The Long Beach Dub Allstars And William and the refrigerator Perry.

57:08 Adam Even him.

57:10 Caller Wesley Willis.

57:11 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, Wesley Willis is huge.

57:13 Adam Oh, you mean the crazy black guy who sings all those songs?

57:21 Caller I'm on quite a long tour with him. And I can tell you stories that would last all night.

57:27 Adam I miss him.

57:28 Caller He's cool.

57:29 Adam Ciara?

57:30 Caller Yep.

57:30 Adam You're 14? You're on with the Long Beach Dub Allstars.

57:35 Caller Okay.

57:35 Caller Hello. No, but I really don't have a question for them, though.

57:39 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot. See you later, bye. Goodbye. Next question.

57:43 Caller You guys are really cool, though.

57:44 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Thanks a lot.

57:45 Caller Okay, how I said, like, how I'm 14 and I'm, like, bisexual and stuff.

57:49 Adam Oh, that's right.

57:50 Caller Yeah.

57:51 Caller I mean, like, how could I tell, like, my mom and crap like that, or, like, my family?

57:59 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Tell her right now. Oh, Mia.

58:01 Adam You want to, and why do you want to tell your mom, by the way?

58:04 Caller No, like, I don't, it's not, like, something I have to do, but it's, like, sooner or later she's going to find out, like, no matter what.

58:09 Adam How many women have you been with?

58:10 The Long Beach Dub Allstars What, are you going to, like, try to make a pass at her?

58:14 Caller Shut up, Roz.

58:16 Adam How many women have you been with?

58:17 Caller Like, three, four.

58:19 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Like, three or four?

58:20 Adam You know. Three or four, which is it?

58:24 The Long Beach Dub Allstars You should look forward to a nice career in porn.

58:27 Adam And how many men you been with?

58:28 Caller Dolls and her ass.

58:30 Caller Like, I don't know, like, a few.

58:34 Drew What did we decide to happen to her?

58:36 Adam Yeah. What happened to you?

58:37 Caller Nothing.

58:38 Adam Nothing?

58:39 Caller No.

58:39 Adam Never raped or molested, and nothing like that? Just good old bisexual?

58:47 Caller No, seriously. Nothing's ever happened.

58:49 Drew Why are you telling your mom about this?

58:50 Caller When did it first happen? When was the first time?

58:52 Caller Oh, come on.

58:55 Drew Why would any 14-year-old want to stand up and tell their parents anything about their sexual experiences?

59:01 Caller Like, I don't know, like, because, like, eventually she's going to find out and, you know?

59:08 Adam Yeah, but she may not find out for another five years, so why don't you just, why don't you, why don't you move out in case she creaks out, all right?

59:14 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Wait till you bring home Hell God to meet her on your wedding day.

59:19 Adam All right?

59:20 The Long Beach Dub Allstars And remember, rainbows are for kids.

59:22 Adam Listen, Sierra, you don't have to say anything to her for a while.

59:25 Caller Hey, I'm very proud of you, by the way.

59:26 Drew Unless you're troubled about your behavior.

59:28 Adam Yeah. Yeah, just don't say anything. That's all.

59:30 Drew Well, our behavior is a lot of control.

59:31 Caller Yeah, you're cool.

59:32 Adam Gabe?

59:32 Caller Hello?

59:33 Adam You're 19. Yeah. What's up?

59:36 Caller Hey, guys, congratulations on the CD.

59:38 Caller It's really great.

59:39 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Thanks a lot, man.

59:40 Caller I can rub a dumb reggae style it up. Kidding.

59:46 Caller Hey, are you guys going to be touring with Barrington Levy anytime soon?

59:50 The Long Beach Dub Allstars It's possible. Yeah? It's definitely possible. We did a short tour with them for...

59:56 Caller Unfortunately, we can't do it on the Warp Tour because we only have a half an hour set.

59:59 Adam Yeah.

1:00:01 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Really? Otherwise, we'd play for like three hours with him and it would be fun. But we can't have Barrington out and just have him do one song because he will do a half an hour song.

1:00:12 Adam Who's Barrington?

1:00:13 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Barrington Levy. Legendary singer from Jamaica. Respect.

1:00:21 Adam Oh, maximum respect. Yeah. I need to recognize and respect. I don't know. I just got back from Jamaica for a week though.

1:00:31 Caller Maybe if you listen to our album, you can hear him singing on it.

1:00:34 The Long Beach Dub Allstars She said she didn't have a daughter. She did have a son. You don't know that one?

1:00:38 Adam I do. Now I know it.

1:00:39 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, there you go.

1:00:40 Adam Yeah, listen, I just had an ass full of reggae. I'm telling you, one week in Jamaica, nonstop reggae. It's amazing how the music is that island and the island is that music. I don't know what other place where there's one brand of music that is for that area, and that's it, you know what I mean?

1:01:00 Drew It's illegal to hear anything else.

1:01:01 Caller Reggae is all over, though.

1:01:02 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I heard they got guys just running up to your bus, just hands full of weed, like, hey, what do you want? $20.

1:01:09 Adam At the airport, they run up to you, and it's just huge bags of weed.

1:01:13 Drew Seriously?

1:01:14 Adam Oh, yeah. What'd you get? We got back to our compound.

1:01:19 Caller What'd you get at the airport?

1:01:21 The Long Beach Dub Allstars What'd you pick up, man?

1:01:21 Adam We got in the car, and then we went, you know, we stayed at the place that the guy from Island Records owns, it's the Gold Nye Palace.

1:01:31 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Chris Blackwell, right?

1:01:33 Adam Yeah.

1:01:33 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Chris Blackwell.

1:01:34 Adam Yeah.

1:01:35 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Peter Tosh called him Chris Whitewurst.

1:01:37 Adam Yeah, it was, I don't care what color he is, he's got a nice pad over there.

1:01:41 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, let's go down there and party with the Stones.

1:01:44 Adam All right, all right, all right, Spicoli. Catherine?

1:01:49 Hi.

1:01:50 Adam Hey, you're 21.

1:01:51 Caller Yes, I am.

1:01:52 Adam What's up?

1:01:53 Caller When I'm having sex, like I'll be on the top and I get really wet, but when I get on, like when I'm on the bottom and the guy's on top, I'm like really dry.

1:02:01 Adam When you're on the bottom and the guy's on top?

1:02:04 Caller Yeah.

1:02:04 Adam Yeah, because-

1:02:05 Drew You're not as aroused by it.

1:02:05 Adam You're not rubbing your clitoris. You're like a waterfall.

1:02:08 Drew Or you're just, maybe- Maybe she just doesn't like it. She's not a preference for her.

1:02:13 Adam Yeah, that's not your position.

1:02:15 Caller It's not?

1:02:16 Adam Well, obviously. Ask your vagina. It's got cotton mouth.

1:02:19 The Long Beach Dub Allstars You ever tried Astroglide?

1:02:22 Caller No. What is that?

1:02:23 Adam It's a water soluble lubricant.

1:02:26 Caller Is that bad for your vagina and all that stuff?

1:02:29 Drew No, it's good.

1:02:29 Adam No, it's good. It's like-

1:02:31 Caller Just try it on your back. How about that?

1:02:32 Adam It's food for your vagina.

1:02:34 The Long Beach Dub Allstars It's pretty key.

1:02:35 Caller Oh.

1:02:36 Adam It's what motor oil is to a car.

1:02:39 Caller Oh, okay.

1:02:39 The Long Beach Dub Allstars It's like Valvoline, baby.

1:02:41 Caller Just prop your arse in the air.

1:02:42 Vaginaline.

1:02:44 Adam All right, Catherine. If you get dry, try some of that KY or that Astroglide or something. Right. Then you could do that position.

1:02:53 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Or maybe a little more foreplay.

1:02:56 Caller More foreplay?

1:02:57 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, go for that.

1:02:58 Caller Well, I already have enough as it is.

1:03:00 The Long Beach Dub Allstars We gotta lick it before we kick it.

1:03:03 Adam All right. Well, why do you do that position if you don't like it?

1:03:06 Caller Well, just because to satisfy the guy, you know?

1:03:09 Drew You know that he likes it?

1:03:11 Caller Yeah. I don't know if he likes it or not, but you know how guys are. They like to be in demanding sometimes.

1:03:16 Adam Yeah. Well, all right. Well, then you- That's right. Is this one guy?

1:03:19 Drew Wouldn't you say that more than being demanding or in control, guys want to do whatever works? More importantly?

1:03:25 Caller Yeah.

1:03:26 Adam Guys want to do usually what chicks want to do because guys are already doing it, and they want to do it more, and they want to do it for as long as they can. Wait a minute here.

1:03:34 Caller Wait a minute here.

1:03:35 Adam Not true?

1:03:35 Caller Sometimes you work real hard, and you just want to chill.

1:03:39 Adam You work real hard like all day, and you go home and you want to chill?

1:03:42 Caller You just want to just kick back.

1:03:45 Adam But then she can get on top if you want to chill, right? Yeah.

1:03:50 Drew He's saying he likes it. My point is, you like it or dislike it, what guys primarily like is whatever the girl's into. That's the most important.

1:03:57 Caller I would say get a bunch of mirrors in your room and that will help out a lot.

1:04:01 Adam Yeah. In the lubricant. Jason?

1:04:04 Caller Hi.

1:04:05 Adam You're 18.

1:04:06 Caller You betcha.

1:04:06 Adam What's up?

1:04:07 Caller Well, Adam, I'd just like to say I liked you when you're on Conan. That was the coolest.

1:04:15 Drew When he bombed?

1:04:16 Adam Thanks.

1:04:17 Drew He tanked.

1:04:18 Adam How dare you, Drew?

1:04:19 Drew They told me they were embarrassed. They were uncomfortable to watch.

1:04:22 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Hey, you should go play a rusty trombone.

1:04:24 Adam I didn't play. I didn't win the crowd over, if that's what you're talking about. They're just a bunch of Olympians.

1:04:29 Caller Thank you. We like him, too. He wears Speedos when he's talking to us.

1:04:32 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Adam's in Speedos right now.

1:04:34 Adam That's right. Oh, right.

1:04:37 It's a thong, baby.

1:04:38 Adam Well, to be fair to me, it's hot in here.

1:04:40 Caller Yeah, okay.

1:04:41 Adam All right. So what's going on there, Jason?

1:04:43 Caller Not too much. Every time I have sex, I use a condom. I'm a pretty safe sex kind of guy.

1:04:49 Caller Right.

1:04:50 Caller Well, anyways, every time I've finished, you know, I finish, you know.

1:04:56 The Long Beach Dub Allstars You ejaculate?

1:04:58 Caller Yeah.

1:04:58 Adam Right.

1:04:58 Caller You put the rubber on the motorway.

1:05:00 Caller Well, after I've pulled out and I've gone to the bathroom, you know, I gotta clean up.

1:05:07 Adam Right.

1:05:08 Caller There's a squishy stringy like cottage cheese like substance.

1:05:12 Drew Maybe she has a yeast infection.

1:05:14 Adam Oh, man. You got to go to a different hooker.

1:05:19 Caller Oh, yeah. It's like in big clumps. The base of my penis.

1:05:23 Drew It could be normal, but it's probably just.

1:05:25 Adam Well, wait a minute. You think that's you or her?

1:05:27 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Have you tried tasting it?

1:05:28 Caller I think it's her.

1:05:29 Caller Tell her to take a shower.

1:05:30 Caller Grab a cracker.

1:05:36 Adam She may have a little yeast infection.

1:05:39 Drew That's right.

1:05:40 Caller Yeah. Well, it's been going on for quite a long time.

1:05:42 Adam Well, they can harbor that down there for years.

1:05:44 Drew Or it could just be her normal discharge.

1:05:47 Adam Why don't you.

1:05:48 Caller She's probably got a bad attitude, too.

1:05:51 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Maybe you like break bread. Yes, maybe.

1:05:55 Adam Jason, tell her to go to the gynecologist.

1:05:57 Caller Gynecologist.

1:05:57 Adam And she's got a little yeast infection.

1:06:00 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Wash their ass. Does it smell?

1:06:02 Caller Tell her to go to Texas.

1:06:03 Caller It smells horrible.

1:06:05 Drew Oh, it does. Well, the bad smell is usually indicative of vaginal infection. And that's something that needs to be treated with antibiotics or antibiotics cream.

1:06:13 Caller Get rid of her.

1:06:14 Drew One of the things she could do is try some over-the-counter yeast medication to start with, even before she sees the doctor.

1:06:19 Caller Oh, well, there you go.

1:06:20 Caller Does she have insurance?

1:06:21 Caller Tell her to eat yogurt.

1:06:23 Caller Eat yogurt.

1:06:23 Caller Does she have insurance?

1:06:26 Caller Yeah.

1:06:26 Adam All right. Tell her to use it.

1:06:27 Caller All right, well, then you're all good, man. You don't have to go to Harvard.

1:06:30 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I don't know. I heard you can get castrated if your chick has a yeast infection.

1:06:34 Adam Who's going to castrate you? Them?

1:06:37 The Long Beach Dub Allstars That's what Drew told me, man.

1:06:39 Adam Drew, what did you say?

1:06:40 Drew I said the East Police will come.

1:06:41 Adam Oh, I see. Listen, go to the gynecologist and get it straightened out. That's all. Yes, for all of us.

1:06:48 Josh?

1:06:49 Adam You're 23.

1:06:50 Caller That's me.

1:06:51 Adam You're on with The Long Beach Dub Allstars.

1:06:53 Caller That's cool. Haven't heard much from you guys before I've heard I've liked you guys so far. All right.

1:06:57 The Long Beach Dub Allstars We love you too, baby.

1:06:59 Caller Wait a minute. What's going on here?

1:07:00 Adam Let's don't rile up the band. They're drunk and they're tired.

1:07:04 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Owl slayer.

1:07:06 Adam Don't agitate them.

1:07:07 Caller All right.

1:07:07 Adam What's up, Josh?

1:07:08 Caller Okay. This past weekend, my girlfriend told me she has herpes, but she has never had an outbreak below the waist. I wonder if I can get herpes.

1:07:16 Drew Where does she have the outbreaks?

1:07:17 Caller She has them around her mouth.

1:07:19 Adam Yeah. The problem is she walks on her hands.

1:07:23 Drew Sure. Of course, she can transmit it from her mouth to your genital area, and she can also transfer from her mouth to your mouth.

1:07:29 Caller And she will, too.

1:07:31 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Who's she been kissing on, Holmes?

1:07:33 Drew But the wrists are relatively small when there's no prodrome, no burning or indication that she's about to have an outbreak.

1:07:40 Caller Okay.

1:07:40 Drew All right. However it's possible, it can be transmitted even then.

1:07:43 Caller All right. She's crazy.

1:07:45 Adam So your job is not to let it get from her lip to your junk.

1:07:52 Caller Okay.

1:07:53 Adam You understand?

1:07:53 Caller All right. So no BJs.

1:07:55 Adam Well, you can get a BJ, but not one she's having one or close to an outbreak or something like that.

1:08:00 Caller Are you ugly?

1:08:02 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:08:03 Caller Can't you get a new chick?

1:08:04 The Long Beach Dub Allstars What are you wearing?

1:08:07 Adam All right, Josh. All right. You're fine.

1:08:09 Caller See you later, John.

1:08:10 Adam All right. Good times. All right. Let's see. Corey.

1:08:16 Caller Yeah, hey.

1:08:16 Adam You're 13. What's up?

1:08:18 Caller Hey, what's up, Adam?

1:08:19 Adam Hey.

1:08:20 Caller I was on last night, remember, with the small penis?

1:08:23 Adam Oh, that's right. Corey with the small penis.

1:08:25 Caller Yeah, and I talked to Papa Roach.

1:08:27 Adam Yeah, that's right. Small penis, large scrotum.

1:08:29 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Hey, you're only 13, dog. It'll grow.

1:08:31 Caller Come on.

1:08:33 Adam Large scrotum, right?

1:08:34 The Long Beach Dub Allstars We're pulling on it.

1:08:35 Adam Yeah.

1:08:36 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, keep pulling on it. No.

1:08:38 Drew He was the small penis, large scrotum.

1:08:40 Adam Right. So what's up, Corey? Is your penis grown?

1:08:43 Caller Yeah, it's getting bigger.

1:08:45 Adam All right.

1:08:45 Caller Good job.

1:08:46 Adam Why are you calling us again?

1:08:47 Caller Yeah.

1:08:48 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I'd like to talk about your penis to millions of people.

1:08:50 Caller I'll tell Papa Roach for you, all right?

1:08:52 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, we'll tell Papa Roach the penis advice worked out. We'll put you on the guest list.

1:08:56 Adam How do you get through to this show, two nights in a row, by the way, when we have people say they've been calling for three months and can't get through?

1:09:03 Caller I don't know. Last time I got on, the first time I tried.

1:09:05 Adam Oh my God. All right. So what do you want?

1:09:08 Caller Yeah. Sometimes when I pee, I pee in two different streams.

1:09:11 Adam That's right.

1:09:12 Caller I think Dr. Drew called it peeing spork or something.

1:09:15 Adam Yeah.

1:09:16 Drew Split urine.

1:09:17 Adam Split urine. I do that every morning.

1:09:19 Caller Across the streams. Sometimes they call it the Prince Albert.

1:09:24 Adam Well, that's a piercing, right?

1:09:26 Caller No, that's a piercing.

1:09:28 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Maybe you got a booger on it.

1:09:29 Adam But you ever do that where you get up in the morning and you're standing in front of the toilet and you're standing right in front of the toilet and you're pointing your junk right at the toilet and you're peeing on some magazines and like a potpourri basket and nothing's going in? Nothing's going in? Maybe it's crusty. And then once in a while, so then you straighten it out, like you compensate, like you start actually, you face your penis at the magazine rack, so it goes into the toilet, but then it straightens out magically and now you're really just pissing into the magazine rack.

1:09:56 Drew It means some sort of urethral irritation, even soaps and things masturbating can cause that irritation, but it also can be a sign of a sexual transmitted disease.

1:10:03 Adam It seems to happen in the morning more.

1:10:04 The Long Beach Dub Allstars He said masturbating.

1:10:06 Caller You've been masturbating.

1:10:07 Adam Why in the morning, Drew?

1:10:09 Drew You're 13.

1:10:09 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I was pulling it three times a day when I was 13. Don't worry about it, dog.

1:10:13 Adam You're down to two and a half now.

1:10:15 Caller How do you explain morning wood?

1:10:19 Drew Morning wood is multiplicity of factors, primarily a spinal reflex that initiated through stretching the bladder. Dr. Drew, we call that piece of bon air. Piece of what?

1:10:34 Adam Drew speaks French.

1:10:36 Drew The urine itself tends to decrease some of the outflow of blood from the penis. And some of the normal aspects of sleep cycles cause erections. So at least three things can contribute to that.

1:10:47 Adam You're dreaming about all kinds of nonsense, right?

1:10:50 Caller I think it's just made so you can hold your towel when you're going to the bathroom.

1:10:53 Caller It's primarily a spinal reflex. Tell the viewers about priapism.

1:10:58 Drew Priapism? Yeah, priapism. Painful erection that will not go away.

1:11:02 Caller For how long?

1:11:03 Drew It could be a long time.

1:11:04 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I had one of those on mushrooms before, man.

1:11:10 Drew The problem with that is that when it does go away, it oftentimes doesn't come back.

1:11:16 Adam All right. I'd like to keep it.

1:11:18 Caller Oh, gosh.

1:11:19 Adam All right. Well, I'd ask the doc.

1:11:20 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I got a good joke about it.

1:11:21 Caller You have to get it while it's getting good, right?

1:11:23 Adam Yeah, give it to me.

1:11:23 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Okay. You want to hear the joke?

1:11:25 Adam Yeah.

1:11:25 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Okay. This guy walks in to a grocery store and there's two women working there and he says, I've got this problem. I've got a priapism and it just won't go down. And she goes, okay, well, let me see what I can, he's all, what can you give me for it? And she goes into the back with the other lady and she comes out and she goes, well, we'll give you about 50 bucks and a partnership in our drug store.

1:11:48 Adam I wish I was drunk. I'd really be laughing my ass off.

1:11:52 Caller All those drunk people out there will appreciate it.

1:11:54 Adam Oh, yeah. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We got The Long Beach Dub Allstars here. I think maybe we'll hear something else from them before the night is through. What's up with the kickdown? All right. After this. It's the Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there.

1:12:52 Drew That's me screaming.

1:12:52 Caller That's Dr. Drew right there.

1:12:53 Adam That's Drew screaming with his devil horns up in the air. Long Beach Dub Allstars are in here.

1:13:01 Caller Can I get a little shot out to my family, Christina, and my family?

1:13:03 Caller Yeah, go ahead. A little shot out to my family, Christina and my little baby Benjamin at home.

1:13:07 Adam And back in the...

1:13:08 Caller I would like to do the same for my kid, Billy and Jessica.

1:13:13 Caller Jack, little Mia and Sophia.

1:13:15 Caller Just turned a year old.

1:13:17 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I want to say a shot out to the house of woe in Long Beach.

1:13:20 Adam Drew, any shout outs?

1:13:22 Caller No.

1:13:22 Adam Okay. All right. You ready to go here?

1:13:25 Caller Yeah.

1:13:26 Caller All right.

1:13:27 Adam Where we going? Get back on the phones. Go to the phones. Okay.

1:13:30 Caller Yeah.

1:13:31 Adam You're 14. What's up?

1:13:34 Caller Well, my boyfriend's birthday is coming up, and he wanted me to give him heads or a blow-dryer or something. And it's my first time, and I have braces.

1:13:46 Adam And he's turning 37?

1:13:48 Caller No.

1:13:51 Adam How old is he?

1:13:52 Caller He's 14.

1:13:53 Adam He's 14. I wanted one of those when I was 14 too. Is he related?

1:13:57 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I got my first one when I was 14.

1:13:59 Adam Really?

1:13:59 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah.

1:13:59 Adam I got a huffy.

1:14:00 Caller Can he ollie, kick, flip to grind? I got a bicycle.

1:14:04 Adam Adam?

1:14:05 Caller Yeah. Can he ollie, kick, flip to grind?

1:14:08 Adam I don't even know what the hell that is. I think it's a skateboard thing.

1:14:11 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Can he skate?

1:14:12 Caller Can he skate good?

1:14:14 Caller Me?

1:14:15 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Does he play guitar?

1:14:15 Caller Your boyfriend. Does he surf?

1:14:18 Caller No, he like...

1:14:20 Caller What is he, a bum? No.

1:14:22 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Do you ride a skateboard, Adam?

1:14:24 Caller Me?

1:14:25 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah.

1:14:26 Caller No.

1:14:26 Drew Okay.

1:14:27 Adam All right. So he wants a BJ and you don't know if you want to give it to him?

1:14:31 Caller Yeah.

1:14:32 Adam I see.

1:14:33 Drew I don't think you want to.

1:14:34 Adam How long have you guys been going out?

1:14:36 Caller For about a month.

1:14:38 Adam About a month. And how far have you gotten so far?

1:14:41 Caller Have you destroyed his life yet?

1:14:44 Adam That's funny. That's in month number two. How far have you gotten?

1:14:50 Caller Well, I've been out with him like twice.

1:14:52 Adam That's it?

1:14:53 Caller Yeah.

1:14:54 Adam Has he copped a field or anything?

1:14:57 Drew Take it slow, Adam. Come on. You're not. I know he's sort of pushing the limits by saying this is what he wants.

1:15:03 The Long Beach Dub Allstars You're only fourteen.

1:15:04 Adam Yeah.

1:15:04 Drew Don't be in a big hurry.

1:15:05 The Long Beach Dub Allstars You want to be a ho?

1:15:07 Drew The guys will keep asking you for things that they want from now on. You don't have to say yes.

1:15:12 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Don't blow him unless he has a car.

1:15:14 Caller He would probably skate.

1:15:15 Caller He would probably sperm in his pants before they even came off.

1:15:17 Caller Can't even skate.

1:15:18 Adam So, Adam, if you don't want to do it, don't do it. Why don't you compromise and give him a handy for Christmas? Okay. That sound. That's a nice stocking stuffer.

1:15:26 Drew I think we stopped during the tracks when the image of him sperm in his pants came flying from Long Beach Dub Allstars.

1:15:34 Adam I knew you liked that one.

1:15:35 Caller All right, Adam.

1:15:36 Adam Tell him Drew said not to do it. All right. Here's better yet. Tell him you talked to your dad. You guys sat down, discussed the pros and the cons, and your dad decided it wasn't a good idea.

1:15:46 Caller And then he'll get the shotgun out.

1:15:48 Caller Right.

1:15:49 Adam All right.

1:15:50 Caller All right.

1:15:50 Adam All right there. All right. Well, I hope that poor kid wasn't listening. Is this Shan?

1:15:56 Caller Yeah.

1:15:57 Adam You're 17. What's up?

1:15:59 Caller Sounds just like Adam.

1:16:00 Caller First, I just want to say hi to Drew and Adam. I love you guys. You guys are so awesome.

1:16:05 Adam Thank you.

1:16:06 Caller We think they're so awesome, too.

1:16:07 The Long Beach Dub Allstars You should see Drew's thong.

1:16:11 Caller And I love Sublime and Long Beach Dub Allstars.

1:16:15 Caller You guys are so good.

1:16:16 Caller You guys are like my favorite band.

1:16:18 The Long Beach Dub Allstars We love you too, baby.

1:16:21 Caller You're so good. You're so good.

1:16:24 Caller I've been like a huge fan of you guys forever.

1:16:29 Drew Tonight, that's all come to a stop.

1:16:31 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Oh, no.

1:16:34 Adam I know I brought this up one other time, and it was kind of dismissed, but I thought the Long Beach Dub Allstars were around before Sublime was, or at least at the same time or something like that, that there was like a side project or something like that. Am I wrong twice with that?

1:16:53 Caller Uh-oh, man.

1:16:54 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Adam, you're out of the loop, dude.

1:16:56 Caller Hold me back, Rob.

1:16:57 Caller I think K&HD is still on there, too.

1:16:59 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Are we in KLOS or what?

1:17:01 Adam That's just what I remember. I don't...

1:17:05 Caller It was the Juice Bros, dude. It was the Juice Bros.

1:17:09 Adam So I'm totally wrong with you.

1:17:10 The Long Beach Dub Allstars We had another man called the Jimmy Hendrix Experience Force, and then, you know, maybe that's what you're thinking.

1:17:16 Adam I was thinking of them. I may have been thinking of Cream or something. Yeah. Shan, so what's your question?

1:17:21 The Long Beach Dub Allstars That's kind of like sperm.

1:17:22 Caller I wanted to know what they were doing, like, what tours they were doing after the Warp Tour.

1:17:26 Caller There's a good question for the man.

1:17:28 Caller We're going straight to Osaka, Japan.

1:17:31 Caller Oh, really? Yes.

1:17:32 Caller To play four shows. Very extravagant.

1:17:35 Adam You're going to be around Osaka, Shan?

1:17:38 Caller Maybe you could fly in.

1:17:39 Caller No, I'm not. When's the next two guys going to be around Southern California?

1:17:43 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I'll be relaxed.

1:17:43 Caller Tomorrow.

1:17:46 Caller I can go see you guys.

1:17:47 Adam Where are you calling from?

1:17:48 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Tomorrow. You can't go to the Warped Tour tomorrow?

1:17:51 Caller No, I have school.

1:17:53 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Ditch.

1:17:54 Adam Isn't school out?

1:17:55 Drew Summer school.

1:17:56 Caller Summer school.

1:17:56 Adam Oh, you got to ditch summer school. That's what summer school is for.

1:18:00 The Long Beach Dub Allstars That's the kind of fans we have, the ones that are in summer school and continuation school. We love you, okay? We love you.

1:18:07 Adam Studying hard for that GED.

1:18:08 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I was in summer school too.

1:18:10 Adam Really?

1:18:12 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yes. I had to go to summer school.

1:18:13 Adam You were like forced to go to summer school, right?

1:18:14 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yes, I had to.

1:18:15 Drew It was called continuation school.

1:18:16 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I had four F's and two D's.

1:18:18 Caller I say you go to school and go to college.

1:18:19 Caller He got caught smoking sherm on campus.

1:18:22 Adam Did you go to summer school? Did you graduate summer school?

1:18:25 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yes, I graduated summer school and I made it to 10th grade. There's this after never really caring about school ever again. We're all dropouts, I think, except for Marshall.

1:18:36 Caller Did you see where it got us?

1:18:37 Caller Yeah, and Tim, he's got a PhD in science and metaphysiological.

1:18:41 Caller Be like Dr. Drew, go to college and you'll be fine.

1:18:44 Adam All right, so when do you guys think you may be in LA again on a tour other than the Warp Tour?

1:18:53 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I don't know, I'd like to book some dates back at House of Blues when we get back, if we could, because that place is a great place to play.

1:18:59 Caller Wait, wait, wait. Look, here comes this beautiful work.

1:19:02 Caller We'll be playing with the Mahavishnu Orchestra, I believe, in August.

1:19:07 Adam All right, you got some information?

1:19:09 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, we're going to start working on our new album in September.

1:19:13 Adam So no tour after Warp in the Osaka thing.

1:19:17 Caller We might be doing a little backyard jam.

1:19:19 Adam All right, so you're going to have to just keep, let's pick up the LA Weekly and look in it every week and see when the Allstars can get back to the House of Blues.

1:19:27 Caller We'll be around for a while.

1:19:28 Caller We'll do like everybody else, look in the computer.

1:19:30 Adam Harvey.

1:19:31 The Long Beach Dub Allstars What's that band you got from Greek, Greece?

1:19:34 Caller Harvey, you're 14.

1:19:36 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Aphrodite's Child. That's who we're playing with next, Aphrodite's Child.

1:19:40 Adam What's up there, Harvey?

1:19:41 Caller Hey, first I want to say you guys at Long Beach told me about you.

1:19:44 Caller Harvey Wallbanger.

1:19:46 Caller You guys are awesome.

1:19:47 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Thank you, you're awesome.

1:19:49 Caller I saw you at the Bob Marley Fest.

1:19:51 Caller Yeah.

1:19:51 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, our hometown, Long Beach, baby.

1:19:55 Caller Ice Dogs, yeah.

1:19:56 Caller That was a really good show.

1:19:57 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Thanks, man. Thanks a lot. My mom and dad were on stage with me.

1:20:01 Caller Got a question. Yeah, I had a girl gave me head a couple weeks ago, but she was on it for like 45 minutes in the movie theater.

1:20:12 The Long Beach Dub Allstars What a good time.

1:20:13 Caller What movie was it?

1:20:13 The Long Beach Dub Allstars It was an Alanis Morissette.

1:20:17 Caller No, I don't know.

1:20:18 Caller What movie was it?

1:20:19 Adam What movie?

1:20:20 Caller It was me, myself, and Irene.

1:20:22 Caller Wow.

1:20:24 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Were you cracking up at Jim Carrey and just spurting all over the place or what?

1:20:29 Caller Yeah. I wasn't paying too much attention to the movie, but it became painful.

1:20:36 Caller Marry her.

1:20:36 Caller I got her to get off.

1:20:40 Adam So what's your question?

1:20:42 Caller I don't know what to do. Should I see a doctor?

1:20:44 Caller Is she a vampire?

1:20:45 Drew What was the fact that it hurt or the fact that it took you so long?

1:20:49 Caller No, because it was not the problem that it took so long.

1:20:52 Caller That was OK. It was painful. It started to feel sore. Is she hardcore?

1:20:58 Drew Because it took so long.

1:20:58 Adam Maybe she got a Raisinette stuffed up in there or something.

1:21:02 Caller It was like a dull pain. It wasn't like a sharp pain.

1:21:04 Drew Harvey, it's irritating.

1:21:05 Caller There wasn't any bleeding.

1:21:06 Drew It's not something good to be doing for long, long periods of time.

1:21:09 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I heard stories about this and the name.

1:21:11 Caller Build calluses.

1:21:13 Adam 45 minutes is one hell of a BJ. Yeah, that was all. You'll be fine.

1:21:18 Caller Were you on drugs?

1:21:20 The Long Beach Dub Allstars You must have been tweaking.

1:21:21 Drew That might be a world record or something. Were you nervous? Were you afraid people were seeing it or something?

1:21:25 Caller What?

1:21:25 Drew Were you nervous?

1:21:26 Adam Why couldn't you get off in, let's say, 40 minutes?

1:21:29 Caller Are you ex-additionist?

1:21:30 Caller I don't know. That was why I called. That was my question.

1:21:33 Drew Were you nervous?

1:21:33 Caller What happened there? No, I wasn't really nervous because it wasn't my first time.

1:21:37 Drew Yeah, but you were in the theater with other people?

1:21:40 Caller No, no one was really in there because I was in the back.

1:21:43 Caller Nobody was laughing.

1:21:44 Adam What about when you're at home and you get one?

1:21:48 Caller No, it's fine other than that.

1:21:50 Adam All right, well then just don't do it in the theater.

1:21:53 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Are you a big Pee-wee Herman fan?

1:21:55 Caller Maybe she ate too much popcorn and it was cutting it all up or something.

1:21:59 Caller Not like that.

1:22:00 Adam All right, listen, I don't know what Harvey's...

1:22:02 Caller It sounds like the girl has a problem. Maybe she's putting too much pressure on it or something.

1:22:07 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, that's it.

1:22:09 Adam Blame her.

1:22:10 Caller She's got cotton mouth.

1:22:11 Adam Listen, I don't know what his problem was. You? No. All right, then it's great.

1:22:15 Caller Sounds like a cave.

1:22:17 Adam Shanti?

1:22:18 Caller Yeah, Shanti, actually.

1:22:19 Adam Shanti, you're 16. What's that?

1:22:20 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Shanti?

1:22:21 Caller Well, first of all, I want to say, Adam and Drew, you guys are awesome.

1:22:24 Adam Thank you.

1:22:24 Caller And Long Beach Dub Allstars, you guys are just so amazing. You guys, your music, Sublime, I mean everything.

1:22:31 The Long Beach Dub Allstars You're really much too kind.

1:22:33 Adam Praise, praise.

1:22:34 Caller Your music has gotten me through so much. It's inspired me so much. I just want you guys to know.

1:22:38 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Thank you very much.

1:22:39 Caller That's nice of you. I've been such a major fan. You guys came and played in Seattle at the Moore. And I was probably like one of the best shows of everything.

1:22:48 The Long Beach Dub Allstars That's a crazy venue. It looks like you're playing at like that Brad Adams video.

1:22:51 Caller We did it all for you. In heaven. Simply because.

1:22:55 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I'll be seeing you in heaven.

1:22:58 Caller Yeah, it was awesome. But I guess my question for you guys is like, you know, how how do you guys all get together like post sublime?

1:23:04 Caller And I thought you meant how we got all fat.

1:23:07 Caller No, like what year did you guys like start, you know, making music together with sublime? No, it's long.

1:23:13 Caller It was it was a cold, lonely night in nineteen fifty. Right around when we were playing with Legos, the yeti child was walking along is about like the end of 1996.

1:23:24 Adam He was in the ninety six.

1:23:25 The Long Beach Dub Allstars In the ninety six year.

1:23:27 Caller And then I grabbed him and called him.

1:23:29 Caller Awesome. You guys, you just totally rule. And I want you guys to know that.

1:23:32 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Thank you very much.

1:23:33 Adam Yeah.

1:23:33 Caller Like hella people out here in Seattle and stuff. We all we all love you so much.

1:23:37 Adam Is it work to work coming to Seattle?

1:23:40 Caller Yeah, they're coming out like well, a couple of hours away from me. But I don't know if I can make it.

1:23:45 Adam Why not?

1:23:45 Caller Pretty disappointed. I got to work and you got to get out of that.

1:23:50 Adam Get someone to cover your shift and go see it.

1:23:52 Caller I want to say about Seattle is that they've always been real supportive when Sublime didn't have much of a following.

1:24:00 Caller Yeah, I know. I almost like killed myself with Redagod. You guys like came and played so many shows like a couple months right before I got into Sublime and then, you know, poor Bradley and that was just, I was so upset.

1:24:12 Caller Yeah, the first time we played there, we didn't have any money to get anywhere else. So the guy that liked us let us stay at his house for two weeks and bought us pizza.

1:24:21 Caller No way, that's awesome.

1:24:22 Adam When did, when did, what's it been? Has it been four years?

1:24:25 Caller Wardo, that is.

1:24:26 Adam Since Bradley passed away?

1:24:28 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Probably about like that.

1:24:30 Adam How's his, how's his kid doing? He's good.

1:24:33 The Long Beach Dub Allstars He's great. He's at the top of his class. He's the smartest kid in his class. And he's not even-

1:24:37 Caller He's got a Hot Wheels computer. Little Jacob.

1:24:39 Adam Wow. And he-

1:24:40 Caller He doesn't talk to me very much.

1:24:42 Adam What is, is he like-

1:24:42 The Long Beach Dub Allstars He knows how to sing too. He's got rhythm.

1:24:44 Adam Is he like a six, five and a half, six, something like that?

1:24:48 The Long Beach Dub Allstars He's like four or some five.

1:24:50 Caller His birth date was just the other day.

1:24:52 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Five. Five now.

1:24:53 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Long Beach Dub Allstars are here. We're going to hear something else from them off of their Right Back CD. I promise. After this.

1:25:06 Drew Love Line, the band of Carole and Dr. Drew will be right back before you know it.

1:25:42 Adam It's a love line.

1:25:44 Caller Oh, yeah, baby.

1:25:47 Caller What's up?

1:25:49 Caller I'll be home in a little bit.

1:25:51 Adam Long Beach Dub Allstars are, I guess, tonight they're fresh off their Warp appearance today, and they'll be back in Anaheim for the Warp tour tomorrow. And then it's off to... We couldn't figure out where it's off to.

1:26:06 Caller We thought out to Half Pint.

1:26:07 Adam San Francisco. That's right. And then it'll be in Seattle in about four days, right?

1:26:12 Caller If you guys want to hear some legendary, how about you? Half Pint, Half Pint, Half Pint.

1:26:17 Adam Yeah, what?

1:26:18 Caller Get Half Pint's album because he rips me.

1:26:21 Caller What's that album called, man?

1:26:23 Adam All right, I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll take one call, and then we'll hear something from Long Beach Dub Allstars.

1:26:29 Caller Yeah, what's up?

1:26:30 Adam Jeremy?

1:26:30 Caller What's up?

1:26:31 Adam You're 21, what's up?

1:26:32 Caller Nothing, I just want to give a big up to Half Pint.

1:26:35 Caller Yeah!

1:26:37 Caller Get the album, Recollection, it's coming.

1:26:42 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Oh yeah, the Chili Cook Off.

1:26:44 Caller Yeah, dude, what's up with the beat getting boot off stage, man?

1:26:48 Caller Who?

1:26:49 Caller The beat guys, those DJs, dude, they practically got boot off stage.

1:26:53 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Oh, because people wanted to hear us.

1:26:55 Caller We didn't like the beat, guys.

1:26:57 Caller I heard they were on PCP.

1:26:58 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Yeah, they were on Shurm.

1:26:59 Caller I know, dude, I saw them smoking crack in the bathroom.

1:27:01 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Oh, man.

1:27:02 Caller See, see.

1:27:03 Caller Don't say crack unless you got some. Get Half Pint's album.

1:27:07 Caller Already got it.

1:27:08 Caller Recollection.

1:27:09 Caller Yeah.

1:27:10 Caller You got them all?

1:27:11 The Long Beach Dub Allstars You the man.

1:27:11 Caller I got Level Vibes, too.

1:27:13 Caller All right, there you go.

1:27:14 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Word up, Jeremy.

1:27:15 Caller You got the classics?

1:27:17 Caller What happened?

1:27:18 Caller You got classics?

1:27:19 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:27:19 Adam Hey Jeremy, you got a question about the video?

1:27:21 Caller Yeah, dude, I was reading, because I go up on your website a lot, I was reading about the Saw Red video. What happened with that?

1:27:27 Caller Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Because we got my manager right here, and he's talking about it's done, and it's going to be done, like, yeah.

1:27:37 Caller Hey man, the manager gets you work. You got to be cool to him.

1:27:39 Adam So what's the deal? Did you shoot the video?

1:27:42 The Long Beach Dub Allstars We shot about half of it, I guess.

1:27:44 Caller Yeah, I was in the trailer ass one too.

1:27:46 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Oh, you were in there?

1:27:47 Caller Yeah, dude.

1:27:48 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Rock on, dog.

1:27:49 Adam So you shot, when are you going to shoot the other half of it?

1:27:52 Caller Maybe we shoot the other half, like, next summer.

1:27:56 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Either that or we're going to shoot our manager.

1:28:01 Adam Hey, Jeremy.

1:28:01 Caller What's up?

1:28:02 Adam We're going to hear Saw Red.

1:28:03 Caller All right.

1:28:04 Adam All right?

1:28:04 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Anybody goes out to all the people in LB and all the whole world.

1:28:09 Caller And everybody needs to ditch and go see you guys tomorrow because you guys rock.

1:28:12 Caller That's right, Jeremy.

1:28:13 Caller It's so worth it.

1:28:15 Caller You're using your noodle.

1:28:17 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Jeremy spoken, yeah, yeah.

1:28:20 Caller I want to put a shout out to all the people that work here.

1:28:24 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Hey, Jeremy, I want to give a shout out to the whole Warped Tour crew.

1:28:27 Caller Jeremy, just get your whole school to ditch tomorrow and come down to the Warped Tour. I want to give a shout out to Adam and Dr. Drew. Yeah.

1:28:33 Adam Yeah. All right. We're going to hear Saw Red from the Long Beach Dub Allstars.

1:28:38 The Long Beach Dub Allstars From the Allstars.

1:28:40 Adam Here we go.

1:32:13 Caller We'd like to thank you all for coming down to the...

1:32:16 Adam It'd be Long Beach Dub Allstars.

1:32:19 Caller Right back to the name of the CD. Hey, I got something to say right now.

1:32:22 Caller Go ahead.

1:32:24 Caller You want to know about the video in the Saw Red video. You should call DreamWorks.

1:32:27 The Long Beach Dub Allstars You want to make it happen.

1:32:28 Caller You call DreamWorks. We give you the number right here, 310-288-7708. Francis, you ask her about the video. See what's going on. One more time. 310-288-7708. Her name is Francis.

1:32:42 The Long Beach Dub Allstars DreamWorks Records.

1:32:45 Caller And if you want to really, really know about the video, tell them to get on the ball. You call 212-588-6699. That's Goldie at DreamWorks.

1:32:55 Caller Thank you very much. Don't sleep and drive.

1:32:57 Adam All right. Drew, what's 5150?

1:33:01 Drew Being held against your will for 72 hours.

1:33:03 Adam Bill Wockel in the Colombo South. Why do they call that 5150?

1:33:06 Drew That's the name of the form.

1:33:08 Adam That you fill out. So if you freak out and they have to hold you for 72 hours, you're 5150.

1:33:14 Caller If you put a tattoo on your face. I had it.

1:33:17 Drew It's either harmful to self, harmful to others, or greatly disabled.

1:33:21 Caller Tattoo your face. You're 5150 as far as this vlog goes.

1:33:26 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I heard if you do more than seven hits of acid, you're supposed to be crazy, too.

1:33:31 Caller So we're all crazy.

1:33:34 Adam You can't use the F word.

1:33:36 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Oh, yeah. Sorry.

1:33:37 Adam All right. As long as you apologize.

1:33:39 Caller All right.

1:33:41 Adam All right. Easy.

1:33:42 Caller He said funking.

1:33:43 Adam He said funking. That's fine.

1:33:44 Caller Easy with the funk music.

1:33:46 Adam Easy with the profanity.

1:33:48 Caller All right.

1:33:48 Adam What are we going to do, Drew? You want to take a break?

1:33:50 Caller Yeah, take a break.

1:33:51 Caller We're going to take a break.

1:33:52 Adam Oh, we got to take a break.

1:33:53 Caller You guys showed up an hour late.

1:33:55 Adam What do you want to do?

1:33:57 Caller It was our Russian tour guide.

1:33:59 Adam We're going to take a break. We'll be back with the 5150 Long Beach Dub Allstars after this.

1:34:04 Caller Okay. Loveline will be right back.

1:34:44 Caller There we go.

1:34:45 Adam All right. Well, that's about it for tonight's program. I want to thank Sir, yes, sir. Long Beach Dub Allstars for coming in here tonight.

1:34:59 Get on your knees, scumbag.

1:35:03 Adam We owe you guys an hour.

1:35:05 The Long Beach Dub Allstars You like baseball? You can suck on this.

1:35:07 Adam You can come in whenever you want and do an hour, because we owe you.

1:35:11 Caller We can play the music that we want to do.

1:35:13 Adam That's right. It's been whatever you like. Play as much Frank Zappa as you like.

1:35:17 Caller All right.

1:35:18 Adam Tomorrow at the Warped Tour, and then everyone can head out to San Francisco, Seattle, and then go to Osaka and catch.

1:35:26 Drew Join them there.

1:35:27 Adam That's right.

1:35:31 Caller Number one reggae band.

1:35:33 Caller Vans welded on top of them.

1:35:35 The Long Beach Dub Allstars Six million ways to die.

1:35:37 Caller Have parking lot barns. Who's won?

1:35:39 Drew There you go.

1:35:40 Caller Let's get some shout outs now. I'd like to get a shout out to TSOL, Ugly Ducklings, North Fasts.

1:35:45 The Long Beach Dub Allstars I wanna get a shout out to North Town, Long Beach.

1:35:47 Adam All right, I'm shoutin out to the Sandman.

1:35:51 Caller I'm goin to bed.

1:35:52 Adam All right, thanks guys. We appreciate it. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:35:59 Caller I wanna give a shout out to Adam and Dr. Drew, yeah!

1:36:01 Adam Yeah! Well now.

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Thursday, June 29, 2000