Episode 1000754887434

0:08 Voiceover Now, here's Love Line. 1-800-LOVE-191 With Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla.

0:14 Voiceover What are you insane?

0:17 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Bruce. He's filling in for Dr. Drew all this week. I didn't say that at the beginning of the week, Bruce, because I didn't want people to sort of tune out, you know, but I think he can't is out of the bag now. Bruce is gone. Bruce is here, I should say. Drew's gone all week. He will be back come Sunday. But Bruce is doing a decent job. Stepping up, filling the big, big, big loafers that Dr. Drew normally wears. Thomas Ian Nicholas is here. You know him from American Pie. He is Kevin. I'm trying to... I saw the movie. I enjoyed the movie. I'm trying to describe Thomas' character so that I know a lot of people. It was number one last week, wasn't it?

1:03 Dr. Bruce Yeah, it was. Yeah.

1:05 Adam Yeah. And I want to describe your character so that people know which one you are. Your character had the girlfriend, the good-looking blonde, and you were... Tell me if I screw this up. You were...

1:23 Dr. Bruce Oh, you're wrong...

1:23 Adam .waiting. No, I'm not wrong yet, am I?

1:26 Dr. Bruce Kidding.

1:27 Adam You're trying to give her the orgasm. You found the sex manual. That is his character. Going off to separate colleges. I don't want to give too much away, but he's the cute one. So how's it been? I mean, this is nuts, isn't it?

1:44 Dr. Bruce Yeah, this is just surreal, I would say. Beyond all my expectations, if I even had any to begin with, but I'm definitely enjoying it for each day of time, and this is great.

1:56 Adam Well, I don't want to sound too trite, but you must not have expected this when you were doing the movie a year ago. Am I right?

2:04 Dr. Bruce You're right. Well, it's one of the things that... No, I mean...

2:06 Adam Summer movie?

2:08 Dr. Bruce Well, we didn't even know it was coming out in the summer. It had another release date. Right. You know, I mean, we've gone through so many changes, and it's not what you think about when you're doing the movie.

2:17 Adam When were you filming this movie?

2:19 Dr. Bruce We were filming it last year. We actually started around this time. This is about the time... Wait, let's see. Yeah, this is about the time I actually auditioned for it, and we started into pre-production, and then we started filming, like, end of July, finished September 10th.

2:33 Adam And you figured, hey, it's a good script, it's cute. No...

2:36 Dr. Bruce Well, not the first time I read it.

2:38 Adam Well, what did you think the first time you read it?

2:40 Dr. Bruce Oh, the first time I read it, I read the first scene, and I thought it was perverse, and I turned down the audition right off the bat.

2:47 Adam Oh, really? I didn't know that.

2:48 Dr. Bruce I mean, you know, if you take any of these isolated incidents in the story, it would, you know, definitely should have had, like, an NC-17, which is what we fought about with the MPAA. But once I was goaded into reading the whole thing, I realized that it was, you know, I saw that it was balanced out by some heart and some, you know, some lessons that, you know, maybe some people get.

3:10 Adam Yeah, I mean, I can see that out of context, humping pastry and whacking off into beer could be something that could come. It really would jump off the page if you're reading it and you didn't have a chance to finish the script. It would seem a little harsh.

3:26 Dr. Bruce Yeah, I don't even think I made it that far.

3:29 Adam But, all right, so you had your questions about the script, but I'm sure you never thought for a second that this thing, well, you didn't even think the movie would come out over the summer, but usually summer movies are sort of, you know, Independence Day and Godzilla and these huge multi-layered blockbuster, you know, one million, I mean, $100 million budget movies and all this stuff, and it's kind of nice.

3:57 Dr. Bruce Yeah, well, once we had kind of started promoting everything and there was anticipation on what the film would do, they had only anticipated that it would be number two. We were like in a release ad that said we're proud to be number two because of all the Star Wars stuff that was going on and we're going against some big movies. So yeah, it was a surprise even after we had time to expect things.

4:20 Adam And I think the movie made more this weekend than its budget anyway, right? I mean, is that true?

4:27 Dr. Bruce That is true. The budget was only 11 million bucks.

4:29 Adam And it made like 18 something.

4:30 Dr. Bruce Yeah, we're already up over 20 after Monday and Tuesday.

4:34 Adam I'll tell you, this is good for you guys and bad for America. Because now we're going to have to see a whole slew of these. The great thing about the way Hollywood works is if Friends is a successful sitcom, then we see a whole bunch of Friends knockoffs. And if American Pie makes more than its initial investment on the first week in a release, we are going to look forward to a lot of these. What are they? The same formatted movies, only slightly worse. Actually quite a bit worse.

5:07 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

5:08 Adam Oh, it's teens getting into trouble.

5:10 Dr. Bruce In fact, I've booked three of them already. No, I'm kidding.

5:14 Adam Is there an American Pie 2? Or are they working on that?

5:16 Dr. Bruce Oh, you mean the second slice?

5:17 Adam Yeah. Someone's got to be thinking about that, right?

5:21 Dr. Bruce I don't know what the thoughts are on that. I wouldn't really, I couldn't really think what it could be about, except for-

5:27 Everybody looks white on here. We can do an ethnic one.

5:30 Adam Well, yeah, you can do like an American bean pie in the hood, soul food, something like that. Is that what you're talking about, bro?

5:40 Something different than that.

5:41 Adam All right, please stop playing the race car. We're going to take some phone calls. Thomas, you know how the show goes?

5:48 Dr. Bruce Yeah, I was an avid listener in 7th and 8th grade.

5:52 Adam Beautiful. And then I came on board and-

5:54 Dr. Bruce Yeah, you know.

5:57 Yes.

5:58 Adam You're 32.

6:00 Caller Yes, I am.

6:00 Adam What's going on?

6:02 Caller Well, actually, I'd have to qualify right off the bat and say that Dr. Drew is not there tonight.

6:09 Adam That's right.

6:11 Caller Well, I have an issue with something that you brought out in last week's show, and you were talking about-

6:17 Adam Was Drew, Drew was here then for that, right?

6:20 Caller He was, but it was also you. And the whole idea is that regardless of who's there, the show is put on, and people listen to it. And like this other gentleman just said, he's been listening since he was in 7th and 8th grade. That would be approximately 12, 13 years old. So you're influencing a whole generation of teenagers.

6:42 Adam Thank you.

6:42 Caller Young teenagers.

6:43 Adam Thank you.

6:44 Caller That's what you say.

6:45 Adam Thank you.

6:45 Caller And what I take issue with is the fact that I'm gay, and you were telling your listeners and a girl, that young woman that was calling, that all of us have to be molested or have some type of emotional trauma. That's why we're lesbians. And it was absolutely ridiculous, because that certainly never happened to me.

7:06 Adam Well, okay. You sound bitter, but...

7:08 Caller No, no. I don't think I sound bitter at all.

7:10 Adam Well, listen, that's not up for you to decide. You listen to yourself all day. You're used to it. This is the first time we've spoken to each other.

7:18 Caller That's very funny.

7:19 Adam I'm getting bitterness. Now listen to me. Hold on now, Bruce. I qualified this, Marilyn, because I did say that. And I qualified it by saying the ones that call this show, other than to complain about me calling them all screwed up, which is you, but the ones that call this show, the ones that call this show, Marilyn, all the men and women who call this show, who are a gay, lesbian, or bi got tweaked somehow sexually at some point. And I did qualify it that way. And I went on to say that I think there's a certain amount of the population that is gay, that is biologically gay, born to blow, I call it, for guys and for a woman, you are born to be with another woman, but there's a certain population of that community that was created in the lab. That lab is the basement where their uncle got to them. I feel badly for him, but that's the way I laid it out. How can you argue with that? You might be one of the biological gays, you may have been born that way, others we talk about...

8:32 Caller Well, it definitely was.

8:33 Adam Okay, others weren't, that's the thing, they were created.

8:37 Caller But you see what the thing of it is, is that if something did happen to them when they were young, and it's more pronounced with the guys than it is with the girls, nothing would make you repeat that behavior over and over again if it wasn't a natural inclination for you, if you didn't like it, if you weren't into it, and actually if you didn't fall in love with someone on your own set.

9:01 Caller If you experience a certain form of abuse, you will tend to go back to that unless you have some intervention in the form of therapy.

9:10 Adam Poor Jesus Christ, right, Bruce?

9:12 Bruce's question.

9:14 Caller This is a good example. Adam is the humor here, not the, I was going to say brains, but not the science. And Adam, if you take him too seriously and literally, you're going to get angry.

9:25 Adam Well, go ahead, take me seriously.

9:27 Caller I think Drew represents more the medical.

9:30 Adam He represents what I tell him to represent.

9:32 Caller I see.

9:33 Caller Yeah. So, so Merlin.

9:34 Caller Well, what I'm, what I'm saying is that because, you know, you're talking to basically youngsters that, you know, anybody can have a sense of humor, but they don't know anything about life. They take you seriously.

9:45 Adam They take you seriously. I'm serious.

9:46 Caller What do you mean?

9:47 Adam Well, hold on a second.

9:48 Caller Adam makes fun of me.

9:49 Adam Shut Bruce's mic.

9:49 Caller No way. This is a good point. I have to make one good point. Adam makes fun of me and he says things about me that would imply I'm not intelligent, which is obviously not the case. So the humor here is something that I think even the youth pick up, the concrete thinking 12 and 13 year olds, I think they understand that Adam is not here to teach them anything about homosexuality or really much else.

10:12 Adam Okay. Now, let me say something than Thomas because he's gay. I know we'll chime in and explain the lifestyle in more vivid detail for us. Marilyn, I stand behind 95% of the things that I say, unless I'm actually blatantly kidding. And when it comes to this, I am 100% behind myself. I should run for something.

10:36 Dr. Bruce Behind yourself or beside yourself?

10:37 Adam I'm beside myself and behind myself, depending on what kind of mood I'm in and how much I've had to drink. I'm telling you, there are gay people like yourself that were born to be gay and that there were others that were gay because somebody got to them. You cannot argue with that. I talk to these people all night long. That is the way it works. I don't know what your problem is with that. And I don't know why that's a dangerous message, by the way. What's dangerous about that message?

11:04 Caller I'll tell you exactly why. Because I'm actually a very attractive woman. And it's not like I don't have to deal with men at work or on the street or anywhere I go asking me out and all this, that and the other thing. And they absolutely just don't understand that you could like just not be interested in them. So the first thing they're going to say is, first thing they always say is, Oh, somebody hurt you. Oh, somebody hurt you really bad. Or something like that. Of course, it gets annoying after a while. It's like, why can't you just accept that? No, nobody hurt me. But that, you know, you just don't interest me.

11:38 Adam Because if you carefully listen to the call, if you carefully listen to the call, that's you, but that's not our callers.

11:44 Caller The callers in the station are younger and there's some other real aberrant behavior going on in addition to the homosexual acting out at times. And so it's not someone like yourself.

11:58 Caller What I'm saying is by representing us as somehow damaged overall, it just encourages the part of being...

12:05 Caller He's not doing that.

12:06 Caller It just encourages men to keep trying and trying. It's like all of a sudden they all think that they're Captain Kirk and this is the Starship Enterprise.

12:14 Adam Hold on a second.

12:15 Dr. Bruce How does that encourage men to...

12:16 Adam Now listen, Marilyn, please, how did you get so bitter, sweetheart? What's going on with you?

12:21 Caller I'm not bitter. I'm just being totally logical.

12:24 Adam Where's your dad?

12:25 Caller Where's my father at home? Where he belongs?

12:28 Adam Home is prison? Where's home?

12:31 Caller You know, that's actually insulting. That's not funny.

12:34 Adam Well, what's going on?

12:35 Caller I have a very normal...

12:36 Adam He never did anything weird to you?

12:39 Come on.

12:40 Caller My father is very... My father is a very straight-laced person.

12:44 Adam How did you get so bitter about men?

12:46 Caller I'm not bitter about men.

12:48 Adam Oh, please. Everyone listening can hear how bitter you are. What happened with you and men? That's my only question. Please be honest.

12:56 Caller What happened? Yeah.

12:58 Caller Apart from the fact that they try too hard and they're annoying.

13:01 Adam Right.

13:01 Caller Sometimes I have a hard time at work because they just don't get it. How could you be that way? But you're so pretty. But this and that is like, listen to the English. Not interested.

13:13 Adam Have you ever been with a man?

13:15 Caller No.

13:15 Adam I could turn you around.

13:17 Oh, yes.

13:19 Caller It's always the same thing. It only takes one or whatever like that.

13:22 Adam That's right.

13:22 Caller If you have no interest, you have no interest.

13:25 Adam All right. And never had a boyfriend?

13:28 Caller No.

13:28 Adam What's your dad do for a living?

13:30 Caller What does my father do? He works for the city.

13:32 Adam Uh-huh. Do any drinking?

13:35 Caller No. My parents do not drink.

13:36 Adam Where's grandpa?

13:38 Caller Well, all my grandparents died when my parents were small.

13:42 Caller You're going to go right down the family tree?

13:43 Adam No. All right. Listen, Marilyn, you sound very angry. I'm not sure what made you angry. Apparently, everything was...

13:49 Caller It's not angry. See, it always has to be the angry, bitter female when she has a point of contention with a man. So it's the same thing.

13:58 Adam No. You just... You sound angry. You sound like you don't like men.

14:02 Caller You know, I'm wondering why you didn't...

14:03 Caller It's not that I don't like them. It's just that judging by my friends and the things they say and their boyfriends and husbands and stuff like that, I'm just aware of the damage that they can do.

14:13 Caller Why aren't you generalizing more to Adam's behaviors? Look what he does with Christians. I mean, he just tears into me every time I'm here and I'm really feeling hurt.

14:20 Caller Well, I have to be perfectly honest that I've never heard the show before what I heard last week.

14:23 All right, all right, but now, okay.

14:25 Caller I'm specifically addressing what I heard last week.

14:27 Adam All right, but now you're hooked. All right, Marilyn, listen, we gotta move forward.

14:31 Caller Yeah, I understand.

14:32 Adam All right, but keep listening.

14:33 Caller I just want to leave a message to all the teenagers out there that know that they're gay or they know that they're not. Not to be prejudiced against the other group and just to assume things, outlandish things.

14:47 Adam Listen, I love the gays. I've said that many times. I wish I was gay. It's a better life. It really is.

14:55 Caller You said you were a lesbian last night.

14:57 Adam No, I did not. I said I was trying to be gay. I'm just, it's not working out. I almost lost an eye last weekend trying to be gay. I didn't want to get into it, but it's a great lifestyle. They recycle. They have beautiful homes. They live together. They're happy. You know what I like about the gay lifestyle? Guys get married. They live in separate rooms. You know what I mean? His room's down the hall. I've known a gay couple or two. They got separate rooms. They have a great time. They got a good income coming in.

15:30 They don't have to worry about the kids.

15:31 Caller She takes you seriously.

15:33 Adam I'm serious. I'm telling you.

15:35 Caller But she shouldn't take you seriously.

15:37 All right.

15:37 Adam But she didn't sound bitter, did she? No. Listen, do you get the feeling that something got her off of men? That it wasn't just, I mean, how could you be as bitter as Marilyn is or at least bitter-sounding as Marilyn is without some sort of event?

15:54 Dr. Bruce I think she's just taking it a little too personally. I think there's a lot of, you know, women that feel the same way about men, but they don't necessarily, you know, they aren't necessarily lesbians or anything.

16:03 Caller I think she secretly likes you.

16:06 Adam I think secretly everyone likes me. That's the way I will go through life.

16:10 Caller That would be a big, big...

16:11 Dr. Bruce That would be why you offered yourself up, right?

16:13 Yes.

16:14 Adam Danny.

16:15 Danny.

16:16 Adam What is it?

16:17 Danny.

16:18 Adam Danny.

16:18 Yeah, like Danish cupcake or whatever it's called.

16:21 Adam Really? That's nice. Is that short for something?

16:23 Danish.

16:24 Adam Your name is Danish?

16:26 Yeah.

16:27 Adam Nice. What kind of Danish?

16:30 No, it's a family name. I was born with it. I don't like it at all, so everybody calls me Danny.

16:35 Adam Danish is kind of a cool name. I like that.

16:38 I don't like it at all. I get made fun of all the time at school.

16:42 Caller Okay. What was your question?

16:44 I just moved, and boys are harassing me because I'm flat.

16:50 Adam You got to go lesbian.

16:52 What?

16:52 Adam You got to go lesbian. That's something I picked up in the last call.

16:56 Hey, by the way, that Maryland chick, she was bitter.

17:01 Adam Hey, listen, everybody calls this show. I got to give you a quick tip. Your attitude reads real strong through the radio. It's a weird thing. I mean, when you see people in real life and you're talking to them or sitting across the bus with them or something and they look good, you get sort of caught up in to what they're wearing or what they're looking like or what their posture is. But on the radio, it's just your voice. And it really is pretty telling. I mean, if you're happy, sad, depressed, stoned, drunk, bitter, whatever it is, it pops through in a big way.

17:35 Caller So the TV show is a big disappointment from people's perspective.

17:38 Adam Oh, the TV show. That's right. Everyone's got to watch the man show tonight. It's going to be on in 12 minutes or something like that. That's reminded me, Bruce.

17:45 Go ahead.

17:46 Adam Okay. So you have small, small brass.

17:48 I have no. Okay.

17:50 Adam But you're 14.

17:51 Caller Yeah.

17:51 Adam That's all right.

17:52 Caller No, it's not. Oh, okay. Because like, a lot of my best friend, she started developing when she was 10.

18:01 Adam Right.

18:01 Caller And I have a step sister and she's already, she's nine. She's going to be 10.

18:05 Adam Yeah.

18:06 Caller I don't know. She's eight.

18:07 Yeah.

18:08 Caller No, she's already 10. Okay. I forgot. They're still like bringing her but do it. Okay. Anyway.

18:12 Adam Oh, okay. We wouldn't have called you on it, by the way, but go ahead.

18:17 Caller And she's already developing and, oh, it's just really weird because I get harassed by it all the time and I've been to the principal so many times because of people.

18:27 Dr. Bruce You got in trouble for it?

18:28 Caller No, the 14 year old boys.

18:30 Caller No.

18:30 Adam You got guys harassing you?

18:32 Caller Yeah.

18:33 Adam For being flat?

18:34 Caller Yeah.

18:35 Caller You know, the problem is a 14 year old boy's brain works that way. So if they're going to take some action, they're going to have to throw out all the 12, 13, 14 year old boys that and they don't have much recourse. So that's the excuse for them harassing you.

18:52 Adam Here's the thing. When you're 14, you're looking to harass. And if you're big chested, you're going to harass that person. And if you're flat chested, you're going to harass that person. And whatever you have going, you're going to harass.

19:05 Dr. Bruce No matter what, they're going to find something.

19:06 Adam Yes. Dainty?

19:08 Yeah.

19:09 Adam Yeah. We get calls every night from 14 year old girls that are big chested, that are miserable and being harassed and guys won't leave them alone and no one looks them in the eye and so on and so forth. So everyone's got problems. But I can tell you this, and please listen, and this is going to change your life. Men are not as into the brass as women think they are. Men like brass, but they don't like huge brass. Most men, there's a small subculture that I'm proud to say I'm part of, that likes the huge brass. But most men like medium to small brass. If you look at all the big models, actresses and whoever, there's not too many of them that have what you'd call big jugs.

20:00 Caller Studies show that men like large ones are more immature and more sort of arrested in the early adolescent.

20:06 Adam That's right. That's true.

20:07 Dr. Bruce Except for Shannon Elizabeth.

20:09 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, she was, she did the little naked scene in American Pine. She was, well, she had implants, though, didn't she?

20:19 Dr. Bruce I think so. You know, I'm not really sure.

20:22 Adam I don't want to ruin it for anybody. But, I mean, she really must have because otherwise I don't, I don't know how they could have gotten to be that shape unless she has some sort of special mattress with some sort of like anti-gravity chamber she sleeps in or something. But the point is, is men do not like, for the most part, most men do not like big breasts. They talk about them. They may ogle a woman or hooted a woman. They may like one at a wet T-shirt contest and all that. Great nicknames. But by and large, most of my friends do not like big breasts. They like nice breasts. And small is fine. I mean, look at all these women on the American soccer team that are all doing these endorsements and they're all sex symbols now and all this. None of them have any cans on them. Muscle.

21:14 Caller To be medically appropriate, we should find out if she's had her first period, if she has a breast bud.

21:19 Adam Breast bud.

21:20 Caller Yes.

21:21 Adam Another good band name. Hold on a second. Dany?

21:26 Caller Yeah.

21:27 Adam How's the breast bud going?

21:29 Caller What?

21:30 Adam Do you have a breast bud?

21:32 Caller I mean, there's usually an initial development of tissue there.

21:36 Adam Anything?

21:37 Caller Have you had your first menstrual period?

21:40 Caller Yes, I actually have.

21:41 Adam You have?

21:41 Caller Okay.

21:42 Adam And there's a little something there, right?

21:44 Caller Yeah, just a little bit.

21:45 Adam Okay.

21:46 Caller You're the normal. Well, there are studies have shown that girls that develop early have more problems. They get in trouble more. They don't go as far in school.

21:54 Adam Yeah.

21:55 Caller Because the guys like Adam that pick the bicycle up.

21:57 Adam Guys in vans with nothing but primer on there from paint. No, you can't. I had a bicycle. I didn't have a car until I was like 19 or something.

22:06 Caller Not when you were 14. Did you have a van later on?

22:08 Adam Oh, at some point?

22:09 Caller Yeah.

22:10 Adam No, I always had to drive trucks because of the carpentry.

22:13 Caller Okay.

22:14 Adam Yeah. Okay. We'll get to my horrible life later. But we're going to take ourselves a little break. Thomas is here from American Pie. Bruce is here from Redlands. Is that where you're from, Bruce?

22:26 Caller Yeah, Brooklyn.

22:27 Adam Bruce was great. I was standing out front just walking in, showed up a little bit late tonight and standing in the walk walking in the front door of the building and heard tires screeching, saw sparks in a car get airborne. That was Bruce in the rental truck. He just got flying, I mean, just screeching around the corner and getting air up into the Loveline driveway. What's up with that?

22:55 Caller The clock in the vehicle was 10 minutes fast.

23:00 Adam You're right, because it was 10, it was 10 to 10 when you pulled up. Yeah, that's awesome.

23:05 Dr. Bruce And you think that's bad, you should have seen how lost we were.

23:08 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, this place, this place is crazy. There's no one can find, the only person who can find this place is Drew's crazy stalker. Other than that, nobody can find, nobody can find this place.

23:21 Caller How come I don't get a stalker?

23:23 Adam You'll get one, you'll stay on it another couple days. I like to see you abusing the rented truck. It's funny when people, I knew immediately, I said, that can't be his truck. He's caught air, there's sparks flying out of the thing.

23:34 Caller I said, I'd use my car.

23:35 Adam Like tore the bumper off the thing coming up the driveway. All right, we will take ourselves a break. When we come back, we'll talk to who, bros?

23:43 Caller We're gonna talk to Warren about crystal methamphetamine.

23:47 Adam Beautiful, after this.

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24:19 Caller Love Line's phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew, we'll be right back.

24:35 Caller It's not hard to swallow. We've got a frog in our throat.

24:40 Adam Lick it up.

24:40 Caller It's Love Line. W-E-B-N.

24:56 Adam It is Love Line. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Bruce. Thomas Ian Nicholas is here from American Pie, the number one movie last week at the box office, and no signs of slowing down. Let's see, Thomas, Thomas Place, Kevin, Kevin, you describe it, a lot of people have seen the movie, so again, so people know which one you is.

25:23 Dr. Bruce Right. Well, for those that have seen the movie and for those that have not, I'll try to keep it right in the realms of both. Kevin is basically one of the four guys who, of the four friends, initiates the pact that they all make to get laid before they graduate and to help each other say the right things to the girls and appear the right way to them. And he's kind of like the ordinary guy. And he's the only one with the girlfriend in the film. And he basically, he thinks he understands a lot of things, but he confuses a little bit of love and sex. And he comes to understand a little bit more in the end of the movie.

26:07 Adam Got the good looking blonde girlfriend.

26:09 Dr. Bruce Yeah, so I didn't mean to leave that out.

26:11 Adam Yes, all right. Bruce is still here for Drew, regrettably. And we're going back to the phones. Lauren?

26:17 Caller Hi.

26:18 Adam What's going on?

26:19 Caller I was just wondering what are some of the certain long-terms of crystal meth use?

26:25 Adam Bruce?

26:26 Caller Crystal meth is being found to permanently damage certain areas of the brain. And in the case of using it once a week, it would be a matter of, it would take a longer period of time to achieve a certain amount of damage. There's not all the information's in, and in terms of exactly what are you going to look like in 10 years or 20 years?

26:55 Adam What's up with that? How come none of the information is never all the way in?

26:59 Caller Well, I mean, you can't do, the experiments you might need to do, they're being done on primates, on monkeys.

27:05 Adam Well, has crystal meth been around long enough? Has speed been around long enough for us to do autopsies on people that had a problem with it? You know what I'm saying? Let's see what happened to them.

27:18 Caller Not in great enough numbers. The problem with autopsies, there's very few autopsies are being done, and drug and alcohol diagnoses are frequently left out. So the number, if that were something chosen today, let's do a study and you still have a problem because doctors don't use those diagnoses as commonly as they should. But crystal methamphetamine, another difference in what's been used the last few years is there's a right and left hand molecule and the older stuff was only about half as potent. So this is very highly potent methamphetamine. And when you get that buzz in your brain, you are altering your brain in many different ways. And that's the other risk you run into with methamphetamine.

28:03 Adam Okay, yeah. I got to intervene at some point.

28:06 Caller Okay, go ahead.

28:08 Adam Here's the deal. Speed is a very evil drug. It really is. It's bad for you and it's bad for the people around you. It's dangerous. People get violent. It's just one of those drugs. I mean, I'm no expert, but I can tell you little pot ain't going to kill you, but the speed, it's just not a good one.

28:27 Caller And I don't know how many people use it once a week. Lauren, is this you or somebody you know?

28:32 Caller No, this is me.

28:33 Adam Why?

28:34 Caller Actually, I've been using probably more than once a week.

28:36 Adam Oh, what a surprise. And why are you using it?

28:40 Caller I don't know, because whatever.

28:43 Adam Okay, let me write that down.

28:44 Caller Are you depressed to start with and it makes you feel okay? Or did you start using it to lose weight? Or what were you doing?

28:51 Caller Because I like how it feels, I guess.

28:53 Caller Okay.

28:53 Adam Yeah, but it sums up. I mean, life wasn't great before you started using it, right?

28:57 Caller Oh, no, really. I'm fine, I guess, so.

29:00 Adam Oh, can you stop using it?

29:02 Caller I think so, yeah.

29:04 Adam Why don't you try that?

29:06 Caller Yeah, well, the reason I called it actually was because a couple of days ago, I did about five, whatever, five lines of, like, powder, whatever, glass, and I got really, really messed up off of it. And I was just wondering what could have caused that all of a sudden.

29:23 Caller That's characteristic. When people talk about glass or ice, it's still just, it's very pure methamphetamine. So, the occurrence of...

29:32 Adam Don't you think her six year old friends would call like a baking soda ice? You know what I mean? I mean, don't you think they would call, label it all as glass or ice? You know what I'm saying?

29:44 Caller The problem, people...

29:46 Adam Bruce, you know, talking to you, having a conversation with Bruce is like playing a handball against the curtains. It really is. The ball comes back every once in a while, but when it hits something, but it comes flying at your head. Other times, you got to walk in and get it.

30:00 Caller I wasn't tracking with baking soda ice.

30:02 Adam I'm saying she said she did some ice, some glass or some ice, some heavy duty stuff last week. And I was saying, how the hell does she know? And don't you think her friends call everything they give her ice or glass? Okay, I'm just going to move on. No, pick another call, Bruce.

30:27 Caller There they are, Loll lined up. It's a guard against me called Pesky Jess.

30:33 Adam Sam?

30:34 Yes.

30:34 Adam You're 26.

30:35 Caller Yeah, how are you doing tonight?

30:36 Good.

30:38 Caller Good. All right, the reason I'm calling is I've been married about five years. Before I got married, my wife and I had a, well, my wife had a great sex drive, almost as high as mine. Right. About four years ago, she got pregnant for my daughter, and it started going down from there. It came up after the pregnancy just a little bit. But since then, she got pregnant seven months ago, and now she got practically none. I might get it once a month. Well, she's just not interested. I have no desire for it.

31:13 Adam She's seven months pregnant now?

31:15 Caller Right. But it didn't start like now. It's been going on for quite some time.

31:19 Adam Yeah.

31:20 Caller But now it's pretty much fallen off.

31:22 Adam Yeah. Well, you know, they're a big ball of like estrogen and stuff when they're pregnant. Who the hell knows? I mean, they got a bunch of hormones flying through them. You can't figure them out when they're pregnant.

31:35 Caller Well, that explains the last seven months. But what about the three and a half years between pregnancies?

31:41 Caller Dare I ask, communication pattern, how do you guys get along compared to previously?

31:46 Caller We get along pretty good, I think.

31:48 Caller So you've talked?

31:48 Caller I have a really good relationship with my wife.

31:50 Adam What, have you talked to her about this?

31:52 Caller We have talked about it. She just says, well, I just don't have, you know, any, you know, too much desire for it.

31:57 Adam All right.

31:58 Caller Like, she said, I understand you do, but, you know, I'm not gonna pity, you know, screw you.

32:04 Adam Why not?

32:06 Caller That's what I said. That upset her one time.

32:07 Adam I've been doing that my whole life.

32:09 It's great.

32:10 Caller But no, she said, she said, I told you before we got together that, you know, if I don't want it, you won't, you're not going to get it. And I understood that. I was fine. But her sex drive was huge. So it was, you know, I had no problem with that.

32:25 Dr. Bruce And then it started going down.

32:27 Caller Like, if I have it once a month, I'm happy.

32:29 Adam How about, how about she just applies a little oral sex to you?

32:34 Caller That'd be fine, too.

32:34 Adam That'd be good. You're not doing that?

32:36 Caller No.

32:37 Adam Listen, we're all hearing something else in here. And the part about YouTube getting along great, everything being fine, sounds a little, there's some holes in that.

32:45 Dr. Bruce Yeah, definitely.

32:47 Adam I think you guys need to get into a little counseling and work out this thing. Cause let me tell you something about women. When they close down sexually, it's because you're not communicating, they're pissed off, they have some need that's not being met. And that's how they react.

33:03 Caller It's the last bastion of control for them.

33:05 Adam They just close down and guys never know it, and guys are like, you know what I love about guys? Just talk to a couple that broke up. And it's great, talk to the guy. You talk to the girl, talk to the girl first. Why did you break up? Oh, for years it's been the same thing, this same pattern. I've asked him repeatedly, when we try to get into counseling, he wouldn't talk to me, we try to communicate, he wouldn't listen. And it had gone on for so many years, I just had to break up. Then you talk to the guy, what happened? Why did Sheila leave? I don't know. She just took off. Everything was great.

33:37 Right.

33:38 Adam I came home one day from work and she was gone. I don't know what's up with that bitch.

33:43 We're getting along great.

33:44 Adam Guys have no idea what is going on. And especially Sam over here.

33:51 Caller He might have asked her and she said, oh, everything's okay.

33:53 Adam Okay, so listen.

33:54 Dr. Bruce Some things need to be figured out.

33:56 Adam And don't start yelling at them. And listen, you women, and look at it this way. Let's say she really loved him and everything was great. He was a great husband and a great father and everything was fantastic. She just had no libido, but she loved him and couldn't have been happier with him. She just had no libido. Don't you think she'd throw him a bone every once in a while? You know what I mean? Like, hey, this is my husband. He's been without sex for a while. I love the guy very much. I may not have much libido, but I'll go over there and give him a hummer just to put him to bed tonight because he's a great guy and I love him so much. Don't you think she would have thrown him a bone every once in a while?

34:33 Caller Could be.

34:34 Adam Yeah, I. Listen, Bruce, I'm so done with you. We're going to take a break. We're going to take a break.

34:39 I have a great comment on that one.

34:40 Adam No.

34:41 Caller You're asking about For Play. Is he knocking the door?

34:43 Adam Listen.

34:44 Listen.

34:47 Adam We're going to take a break. Everyone tune in to the Man Show because it's now currently on. Thomas Ian, can I finish here with Thomas, who's here from American Pie? You can watch that when you're done watching the Man Show and we'll be back after this.

35:21 Caller It's Love Line, only on WEDN.

35:28 Adam Okay, yeah, there we go. Thomas Ian Nicholas is here. He is from American Pie, which is the number one movie of last week, and I imagine it will be number one this week, too. Let's see. We got the Wild Wild West, which I haven't seen, and by all accounts, seems to be an abortion. It's just big budget, lots of hype, rap songs and nothing.

36:01 Caller The TV show was great.

36:03 Adam I'm not getting, the TV show was great, but I...

36:05 Dr. Bruce Yeah, I watched it. I went and saw Wild Wild West.

36:07 Adam Did you?

36:07 Dr. Bruce I fell asleep.

36:08 Adam Did you?

36:09 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

36:09 Adam You're not just saying that.

36:10 Dr. Bruce Nothing against Will Smith. I like his other flicks, but I fell asleep.

36:14 Adam No, and Kevin Kline is great. Yeah. Big fan of his, but it seems like one of these movies, and I've been suckered into a handful of these over the last few summers, which is tons of pop, tons of stuff going on, tons of effects, but 20 minutes into it, you realize you don't care. Like you just don't care. You just don't care. And if anybody, I was thinking about it, there's a great movie, it's sort of like American Pie in a way called Breaking Away. It's about 15 years old now.

36:48 Dr. Bruce Low budget.

36:49 Adam Great, great movie. Had a few, Daniel Stern was in it.

36:53 Dr. Bruce Oh, nice.

36:54 Adam Who you worked with before. And a couple other, who the hell else was in that movie, Bruce? I know this is a trail I don't want to go down.

37:01 Dr. Bruce That wasn't the Bikes, was it?

37:03 Adam It was the Bike.

37:03 Dr. Bruce Oh, okay, I know what you're talking about now.

37:05 Caller 1985.

37:06 Adam Yeah, yeah. There was a lot of stars in that one. Dennis Quaid was in that. Yeah. And a couple other guys you've seen. The point is, is here was a low budget movie, it was shot in Indiana and the big event of the entire movie was a local bike race that's held in Indiana on a dirt jogging track called the like little Indy 500 by competing fraternity houses. And it was nothing, I mean it was zero, but you couldn't have been more excited and rooting harder for a guy to win at the end of it. And when I watched that movie I realized it's not about how big the event is, it's about how much you care about how the event turns out.

37:50 Dr. Bruce Yeah, I think for most films, as soon as you get past the 80 mil mark, you tend to like separate yourself from a film that you could care about.

37:58 Adam Right.

37:59 Dr. Bruce You get separated from the storyline and get into the effects or whatever. I mean, Saw Wars might be an example, an exception.

38:07 Adam There are a few, but not many. And not this American Pie, because you know it's got to be good. It had a very small budget.

38:14 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

38:15 Adam That's how you know.

38:16 Dr. Bruce Eleven mil.

38:17 Adam Good acting and good writing. All right. Where were we here, Bruce? We're on three. Rebecca?

38:25 Caller Yeah.

38:27 Dr. Bruce Hey, Rebecca.

38:28 Caller Hey.

38:28 Adam What's going on?

38:30 Caller Okay. My friend, Rachel, she's, well, she'll be fourteen.

38:36 Adam Hold on. Rebecca, what do I hear in the background?

38:39 Caller It's just my CD player.

38:40 Adam All right. I'm going to put you on hold for about a half hour. Okay?

38:43 Caller Okay.

38:43 Adam Okay. Because I will not tolerate that. I don't want to sound like a prick, but it drives me nuts. People, I hear people's TVs and stereos and stuff in the background. It's like, how often you on the radio, honey? So, I'll turn it down, Rebekah will turn it down and we'll get back there in just a couple of few. Amen. Amen. Amen.

39:04 Oh, it's Amen.

39:06 Adam Amen.

39:06 Yeah.

39:06 Adam What the hell is wrong with parents these days?

39:09 Oh, I don't know. Well, I'm Mormon and it's from that Book of Mormon, I guess.

39:13 Adam What the hell is wrong with parents these days?

39:16 I don't know.

39:16 Adam All right. Couldn't they have named you Ham or Job or something?

39:20 Something like that. I usually go by my middle name, Spencer, but.

39:24 Adam Oh, that's cooler.

39:25 Yeah.

39:25 Adam All right. What's your question?

39:27 I want to ask Thomas if because if I was in a movie with his girlfriend, I don't know her name or whatever. I would have tried to hook up with her. I just wanted to know if he did in real life at all or anything.

39:41 Adam She's dating a 50 year old coke dealer in real life, so he wouldn't mess with that.

39:46 Dr. Bruce Yeah, I wouldn't touch that ten foot pole. No, her real name is Tara. No, I did not hook up with her off of the set because it's just a movie and I had a girlfriend at the time and I definitely don't go that route. Once again, it's just a movie, so all the stuff that we were involved in in the flick is totally opposite of me, in fact, completely opposite.

40:15 Adam How about that, Tara? How old is she?

40:18 Dr. Bruce She's 22, I believe.

40:21 Adam How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

40:22 Dr. Bruce I just turned 19 last week or less than a week. Yeah, last week, I don't remember.

40:27 Adam Were you one of the younger cast members?

40:30 Dr. Bruce Yeah, me and Eddie K. Thomas, who played Finch, were the youngest. I was 18 and he was 17.

40:35 Adam Right, oh yeah, yeah, because you shot it a year ago, so you actually were sort of high school senior age.

40:42 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

40:43 Adam But, yeah, so it should work that way. You should be able to have sex with people who play your girlfriend in movies and TV.

40:50 Dr. Bruce Well, the problem with that is, you know, because of my faith, I'm a Christian as well, I practice abstinence and I wasn't even having sex with my girlfriend, so I wasn't gonna turn around and hook up in any other way.

41:05 I also want to ask you, weren't you in like a movie where you were a kid and you were like a baseball owner or something?

41:12 Dr. Bruce Oh man, that was the wrong film. That was Little Big League. I was close though. I was in Rookie of the Year.

41:19 Adam You were the Rookie of the Year, right?

41:22 Dr. Bruce Yeah, I was. I was Henry Rossenbeger, Ruhlenferter.

41:26 Adam How cool was that to do? I mean, were you in the Yankee Stadium?

41:30 Dr. Bruce We were the Cubs.

41:32 Adam Oh yeah, okay. You're in a big stadium.

41:35 Dr. Bruce One of those stadiums or something like that.

41:38 Adam Well listen, I didn't see the movie. I got to be honest with you, because I'm too old. But you were in a big stadium with the crowd, everything throwing the pitches, doing the thing.

41:47 Dr. Bruce We were at Wrigley Field. It was actually only the first time that we filmed there. There was 35,002 people in the stands. It was unreal. They were all chanting my character's name. Daniel Stern, who we talked about earlier in Breaking Away, was the director. It was his directorial debut, and he was one of the characters in it. It was a fun time. The rest of the time it was after baseball season, so there was extras in the crowd, and only about 4,000.

42:12 Adam So the people, they'd show the audience, but they wouldn't pan all the way around the stadium.

42:17 Dr. Bruce Right, only that one time. The first time my character goes up to the mound, they did a full 360 shot, and it was just a full stadium.

42:25 Adam Now, did they do that at the seventh-inning stretch of a game?

42:29 Dr. Bruce In between a doubleheader.

42:30 Adam Oh, in between a doubleheader.

42:31 Dr. Bruce We had five minutes to get our scene out, and the director goes on a mic in front of everyone and tells them the whole story, and they're like, Yeah, the Cubs are going to win the World Series. All right. We'll cheer. You know, and they're like all chanting the character's name, getting into it. I heard after we left and they started the next game, the pitcher was, you know, totally blowing it. They were losing the game, and the crowd started chanting my character's name again. So I could come back and win the game for real or something.

42:58 Adam That is every boy's dream. I was asked today, found out I got to play in the Dodger Celebrity Game this year. Yes. Yes. So I'll get to fulfill my dream and go to Dodger Stadium and PHP in the dugout.

43:14 What position are you playing? Batboy?

43:16 Adam No.

43:17 No.

43:18 Adam I'm actually a decent baseball player, Bruce. I'll probably...

43:22 Dr. Bruce Wait, wait. You're a decent baseball player, but you didn't see Rookie of the Year. I'm getting contradicting messages here.

43:29 Adam You know what? I'm going to rent it. That is it. Possibly on the way home. Kaz? Yo. Yo, you're 17.

43:37 Caller Yo, what's up?

43:38 Adam What's going on?

43:39 Caller First, I just want to... I don't know if it was Lisa or Sherry who took my call, but I want to thank her for letting me get through.

43:44 Adam That's Lisa.

43:45 Caller Lisa. Thanks, Lisa. But can I tell you a quick story before I get to my question, Adam?

43:49 Adam All right.

43:50 Caller All right. I have a friend whose uncle works for MTV. Not anything big, but he just has something to do with it. Are you still on MTV?

43:59 Adam Yeah, as far as I know.

44:00 Caller Well, are you aware of this fanatic show they do?

44:03 Adam Yes, I am.

44:04 Caller Well, I asked his uncle if I could go on Fanatic to meet you, because, I mean, you are my god, dude.

44:13 Adam Fanatic is a show that MTV airs where people, I guess, write in letters or send in videotapes or something, and they basically describe how badly they want to meet some celebrity, and then they hook them up with the celebrity, and they spend the day, I guess we could spend the day napping and masturbating or whatever I do during a normal day. You'd have to do it with me. But they hook the celebrity up or the crazed fan up with them, and they're, oh my god, I can't believe I've met you, and I've seen a few of them. Now they don't get Dustin Hoffman or Meryl Streep or anything like that, but they get younger celebrities that fans want to meet, and I've seen them do it with figure skaters or whoever.

44:53 Caller It's like a stalker's training camp.

44:54 Adam Right, anyway, Kaz, so continue.

44:58 Caller Anyways, so I asked him if I could meet you, and he works for MTV. His first reaction was, who? And then second, when I told him the stuff, he said that you probably wouldn't be eligible for that.

45:11 Adam Right, well, MTV would not put one of their own up in a fanatic episode because that would suggest then that one of their own was a celebrity, and they try to dissuade that kind of thinking as strongly as possible. So, I mean.

45:30 Dr. Bruce I would just consider that like, you know, they're just bagging on you, like hardcore.

45:35 Adam Yeah. Well, MTV.

45:37 Dr. Bruce Just not saying you're eligible.

45:38 Adam MTV sent me a beer of the World's Basket a couple of weeks ago, so I'm trying not to be quite as mean to them because they gave me beer for no good reason a couple of weeks ago. But MTV does not like to treat their talent as talent, and they don't like to think of them that way. And if anyone ever watches an MTV award show, for instance, you'll never, not only will you never see their talent, everyone close their eyes for a second. I'm just kidding, Bruce, open your eyes. Close your eyes. Think of the MTV Movie Awards. Think of the MTV Music Awards. Think of any MTV, you know, big award event type show that they've done over the last five years. And then think about if you've seen anybody who's on their network, either go on stage, deliver a trophy, receive something, bring out a band, even if you've seen any of their talent panned to in the audience during the course of the show, if they've ever seen their talent, with the possible exception of Carson Daly, but that would only be because he was sitting next to Jennifer Love Hewitt. And I'm sure they tried to crop Carson out of it as much as possible. No, you would never ever see that. As a matter of fact, it was funny. I was going to the last award show and somebody said, I saw my friend on my car phone. I said, I'm going out to Santa Monica, go to this MTV Movie Awards. And he said, oh, what do you got to do? Deliver an award or present award or something? I said, are you nuts? If I ran on stage, I would be tackled by security, beaten and dragged out of the place.

47:18 Caller And for good, I defend you, but I mean, you're probably one of the more talented or funnier guys on the thing.

47:23 Adam Oh, yes. Oh, yes. And that's why they made a mistake with me. That is the problem. Their strategy is fine with most, but not me.

47:32 Dr. Bruce Yeah, there's a good strategy there. They want to keep everyone thinking if they created stars and they'd leave the show. You gotta keep everyone on the show.

47:38 Adam It's the man trying to keep you down, but don't worry. Don't worry. I got a memory like a orca whale, baby.

47:46 Caller Is Kat still in the line?

47:47 Adam I don't know. Kat, what do you want to do with that?

47:49 Caller What do you want to do with that?

47:49 Adam You could start a letter writing campaign and get a million petitions with a million signatures a piece on them, and they would never ever ask me to do the fanatic. I can guarantee you that. So go ahead, Kat.

48:02 Caller Oh, okay, yeah. Well, I've heard you talk an awful lot, and you're this big celebrity. Everyone likes you and stuff.

48:09 Adam Sure, I'm huge.

48:10 Caller Oh, yeah, dude, you rock. And but I'm pretty sure that Loveline is what helped you segue into making The Man Show, right?

48:18 Adam No, no, no. Hold on a second. We got to take a commercial break.

48:23 Caller Okay.

48:23 Adam Well, I'll tell I'll tell everyone the truth about that story right after. Right after this. It'll be quick, though. All right. We'll be back.

48:32 Caller Loveline be right back in a minute.

48:56 Adam It is Loveline. We're going to take a quick 10-second timeout. We'll be back with more of the show in just 10 seconds.

49:04 This is Loveline on Radio Station.

49:20 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Bruce, who is very qualified, as qualified as Dr. Drew to do his position, at least on paper. Thomas Ian Nicholas is our guest tonight. You know him from quite a few projects, but most recently, American Pie, number one at the box office, thank you. And looking forward to another good week. I don't know what the hell is being released this week. What is being released?

49:48 Dr. Bruce Eyes Wide Shut.

49:49 Adam Hold on, we have a little problem with them. Anderson, you know the part about turning everyone's mic back on when we come back, right? Eyes Wide Shut.

49:58 Dr. Bruce Eyes Wide Shut, yeah.

49:59 Adam Yeah. I know it's Kubrick and all that, and I know he always does a sort of cryptic ad campaigns, but I can't figure out what the F that movie is about. I have no idea what that movie is about. Do you?

50:12 Caller No.

50:13 Dr. Bruce I don't know. I've just heard some disturbing things about the Hole and Cruise Kidman love scenes.

50:19 Adam I'll tell you, everyone is looking forward to it as far as the nudity and the sexuality and all that kind of thing, but to me it's not exciting because it's weird for me to watch the guy and his real wife. It makes it weirder. I'd rather see two actors going at it. You know what I'm saying?

50:39 Dr. Bruce Well, it takes away the whole sense that it's acting. I mean, what's up? You got these two characters that are totally not them, but then they're doing something that, you know, a married couple does. They're married, you know? I understand. I agree with your problem with it. It kind of makes it hard for me, like, hey, that's acting.

50:59 Adam What's up with Nicole Kidman, by the way, in the sexuality kick in the last six months? I mean, Nicole Kidman has been on the scene for ten years. I mean, she was on, you know, she was in Dead Calm. That was probably good eight years ago. Cool movie, by the way. And when was Dead Calm? It must have been like 90, 91, something like that. But she's probably a couple of movies before that. The point is, is she's hadn't heard anything about her vagina in in ten years. And now it's like she's half naked on every cover of every magazine. She's doing this nude thing on Broadway, you know, six months ago. She has this new movie coming out. It's why? Why? What happened? I mean, why? Why did she decide to start with this all of a sudden? You know what I'm saying?

51:49 Dr. Bruce In the mind of a celebrity, who will ever know?

51:52 Adam Yeah, I don't know. I kind of get the feeling. And maybe this is just me and Bruce. If you disagree, don't say anything. But I think a lot of women and I've been noticing this more and more. They're doing Playboy spreads when they get a little bit older. And they're exploring their sexuality a little bit older. And I think they have this feeling like, listen, the train is leaving the station. The train is my body. I got about another few years left here that people want to see me naked. So I better get naked now. Do you kind of get that feeling? Oh, money? Bruce, here's what, this is better radio. Instead of, instead of pantomime, write down your comments and then I'll read them over the, over the air. Oh, okay. All right. Where the hell? Oh, no, wait a minute. I just got to finish with you now. Now we're screwed. All right. Now hold on a second. Let me control. I'm going to work this thing out. Kaz?

52:48 Caller Yo. All right.

52:49 Adam So, you know, going back to Kaz.

52:52 Caller All right.

52:53 Caller Kaz, do you work with metal or have a psychiatric history?

52:55 Caller No, I'm a student, dude.

52:56 Caller All right.

52:57 Adam They, you go to, you go to high school.

53:00 Caller Metal.

53:01 Dr. Bruce The, he plays metal.

53:03 Adam Perfect.

53:04 Dr. Bruce There's, there's, there is.

53:06 Adam I'll be real fast because I've talked too much already. The, you want to know about The Man Show. MTV didn't have anything to do with The Man Show. As a matter of fact, they didn't want, they weren't going to let me do The Man Show because I have a contract with them that has to do with cable.

53:19 Caller No, but, but Adam?

53:20 Adam But they were nice enough to let me do it. Yes.

53:22 Caller Actually, my real question was, I hear you talk like all the time about how when you got out of high school, you start off laying carpet and doing construction jobs and stuff like that.

53:33 Adam Carpet, yeah.

53:34 Caller How exactly did you go from doing that to be in like this big radio and TV guy?

53:39 Adam I blew a producer. I'm not going to make any bones about it.

53:43 Caller Kaz, do you think?

53:44 Adam I wish it was hard work, but it wasn't. I had oral sex with a big Hollywood type. I don't want to mention it.

53:50 Dr. Bruce Were you on the casting couch?

53:52 Adam Aaron Spelling. That's it. My career took off after that. I did five episodes of Sunset Beach, immediately after oral sex with Aaron Spelling, and it just took off. I don't know. I just chipped away. That's all.

54:07 Dr. Bruce Did you get any free nose jobs out of it?

54:09 Caller No.

54:10 Adam I gave him a nose job, though. No. I just packed away and I did it for like 12 years, and eventually I caught a break.

54:19 Caller Kaz, do you think Adam in character is the same as Adam the person?

54:24 Caller What do you mean in character?

54:25 Caller When he's doing his TV show in Loveline. Is that the real Adam or? No.

54:30 Caller I think what I hear on the radio is the real Adam. I know when he's on TV, he's like acting and stuff.

54:35 Adam Right. I prefer to call it play acting, but fine.

54:39 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Well, you know, he's no Dr. Drew, you know. He's not on hang time or anything.

54:45 Adam Was Drew on hang time? Yeah.

54:46 Dr. Bruce It's not going to be out for a while, but he did a little hang time.

54:50 Adam Oh, really?

54:51 Dr. Bruce Episode, I heard.

54:52 Adam I thought we had some in our contract where he couldn't do anything without me. He's smarter than you, that son of a bitch. All right, Kaz.

54:59 Caller Hold on, Adam, by the way, I'm lucky too, because I have a satellite, so I get to watch the man show at 10 to 30, meaning I get to watch all that and listen to all two hours of you on love.

55:08 Adam All right, Kaz.

55:08 Caller Yeah.

55:09 Adam I'm even becoming bothered by your love.

55:11 Caller Are you gay?

55:11 Adam I really am. Maybe he's gay. But God bless you. All right. Let's see if we can move forward here. Seem to have a very strong enough about me. Hello, Rebecca.

55:21 Caller Yeah.

55:22 Adam You're 13.

55:23 Caller Yeah.

55:24 Adam What's going on?

55:25 Caller Okay. My friend Rachel thinks that she can boss me around and stuff like that. And also he, if I don't do what she says, she like beats me up or whatever. And my mom has talked to her, but my mom, I mean, Rachel doesn't listen to her. And Rachel has a bad life at home, but she doesn't need to take it out on me. And she thinks she can.

55:46 Dr. Bruce She physically beats you up?

55:48 Caller Yeah.

55:48 Adam This is your friend?

55:50 Caller Supposedly.

55:52 Adam Okay.

55:52 Caller I didn't see anything wrong.

55:54 Adam Okay. So your friend, Rachel, is like abusive to you.

55:59 Caller Yeah.

55:59 Adam Did she consider you a friend?

56:01 Caller Yeah. Well.

56:03 Caller I didn't see anything wrong.

56:05 Adam So she beats her friends up?

56:07 Caller Yeah.

56:08 Caller Why do you continue to spend time with her?

56:10 Caller I can't help it. It's like she will come to wherever I am.

56:15 Dr. Bruce Run faster.

56:18 Adam Hey, Rebecca, you really can't help it. You really can't. You just don't be friends with her anymore. Can you do that?

56:26 Caller Well, I have tried.

56:27 Dr. Bruce Well, if you spend enough time away from her, then perhaps she'll get used to that and then you won't have to deal with it anymore.

56:35 Adam Hey, Rebecca. Listen, I know you feel a little bit helpless and you're only 13 and all, but if you don't want to be friends with someone, you really don't have to and you can send them a subtle, but yet, looking for the word here, consistent message. Thanks for jumping in when I'm stammering, by the way, Bruce, like Drew go the same school.

57:00 Caller I like you to stammer a little bit. What's with your mother? Why doesn't she participate?

57:06 Caller I don't know.

57:07 Caller What happens when you sit down and talk to her about it? She just, you tell your mother this girl's beating up on you constantly. What does she say?

57:15 Caller Well, she just tells me to tell Rachel and I have and Rachel smacks me and I have literally gotten huge bruises on my arms and stuff like that. And my mom has tried so many times to talk to her but Rachel does not listen at all.

57:28 Dr. Bruce What about her parents?

57:30 Caller Her mom doesn't care what she does with her life.

57:32 Adam Alright. Well, so she's obviously troubled.

57:35 Caller Yeah.

57:35 Adam How long have you been friends with her?

57:38 Caller About seven years and it just basically started this year.

57:41 Adam Okay. Why don't you tell her to stop it? There's a novel idea.

57:45 Caller I have.

57:46 Dr. Bruce With other people present.

57:48 Adam There you go.

57:49 Dr. Bruce With other people around you, not alone so she can't beat you up again.

57:52 Adam Listen, Rebecca. Take Marshall off. I don't want to sound like a jackass but you're 13 years old. You're not nine. This is a friend of yours for seven years. She's being physically abusive. Do something about it, would you? I mean, there's nothing we're going to tell you. Do not hang around with her. It is the obvious. If she calls, don't pick up the phone. If you pick up the phone, cut it short, cut her off. She will get a clear message. All right? I don't know what else to tell you. You're a big girl. You can take care of yourself. It's not that big a problem. You see her coming down the hole at school, duck down another hole. What's that?

58:31 Caller You don't go to the same school.

58:32 Adam Okay. Well, I didn't want to hear about it then. Please. People strung out on heroin. It's not a problem. I don't want to sound like an idiot, but I don't want to be overly sympathetic to everyone who calls this show. They don't go to the same school. It's her old friend. She's out of line. Just stop hanging around with her. And that nonsense of she shows up everywhere, that's nonsense.

58:53 Caller But at 13, the world is a lot more concrete.

58:55 Adam It is. It is smaller and it's made of more concrete. But, you know, this is one of those growing pains things. Handle it. Tell your mom. Hey, if she hits you, call the cops. Get a restraining order. I mean, if she's getting physical with you, bring the powers that be to bear on her. Jackie.

59:17 Yeah, that's me.

59:18 Adam You're 26.

59:20 Caller Yes.

59:20 Adam What's going on?

59:22 Caller I have a real problem. Like, ever since I started having sex, I never, I have a hard time having an orgasm. I always have ever since I, ever since I first started. And I don't know, since the last year, in the last year, it just seems like it's even getting harder. And I don't know what's, I don't know what's the problem.

59:43 Adam Maybe there's something stuck in there.

59:46 Caller I don't think so.

59:46 Adam No? Anybody check?

59:48 Caller Are you in a monogamous relationship or is this something that goes?

59:51 Caller Well, right now, I just started, I wasn't, I haven't been in a relationship, like, my last serious relationship was like five years ago. And I've only had like real casual things since then. But right now, I started seeing someone for like a month now. And it's just, it's really starting to bother me again, because for a while, I just didn't think about it. But everyone keeps saying, you know, your woman's sexual peak is later, and I keep waiting and it's just not happening.

1:00:18 Adam Ooh, can you have an orgasm through oral sex?

1:00:22 Caller I can, I have. When I was with my most serious boyfriend, I could. It just would take like 15, 20 minutes.

1:00:31 Adam Yeah, that's a long time down there.

1:00:33 Caller It is a long time.

1:00:34 Adam Let me tell you, that is-

1:00:35 Caller No guy wants to do it that way. You can't even talk when you're coming back up.

1:00:38 Adam No kidding. 15, 20 down there, is there really, it's equivalent to one tour in NAMM.

1:00:43 Caller Yeah, so like nobody wants to do it again.

1:00:45 Adam It's like a year.

1:00:46 Caller Yeah, and I don't want this new guy to think there's something wrong with me. I just don't know, like, is there anything that I can do?

1:00:53 Caller But there's not a published normal and abnormal for these things.

1:00:57 Caller Yeah, but I mean, it's hard.

1:00:59 Adam Can you have an orgasm when you're alone?

1:01:01 Caller Yeah, but in the last, like I said, in the last year, it seems to be taking longer.

1:01:06 Adam All right, well, let me jump in with my voicing. You're 26, sounds like you've been through a lot.

1:01:13 Caller It's not like I haven't had any sex.

1:01:16 Adam What do you do for a living?

1:01:17 Caller I'm a nurse.

1:01:18 Adam Oh boy, that's a horrible job. You got to work around guys like Bruce. Have you had any trouble in your life?

1:01:26 Caller Well, I had a baby about three and a half years ago. I'm a single mom. I don't talk to the baby's father at all. But this, I mean, it was hard for me before.

1:01:37 Adam Where's your dad?

1:01:38 Caller My dad, he's very, my parents are fine.

1:01:42 Adam Everything's good with dad?

1:01:43 Caller Yeah, they're very supportive. They watch my son for me all the time.

1:01:46 Adam When did you lose your virginity?

1:01:48 Caller I was 17.

1:01:49 Adam Yeah, okay. No molestation, no alcoholism, no raping, nothing like that?

1:01:55 Caller Nothing like that.

1:01:55 Adam Everything's good.

1:01:56 Caller Yeah.

1:01:57 Adam All right. Well, listen, all women are all broken down different biologically. Guys are very consistent. 99% of guys.

1:02:07 Caller It's starting to get me annoyed because it's not really fair.

1:02:10 Dr. Bruce Well, I mean, not that I know much about this area, but I mean, girls are definitely connected a lot more emotionally. And if you're not talking to your partner or previous or your child's father, there might be if that if it began around then, then it could be something emotional, something that you feel about sex. I mean, I'm no professional, but well, no, I think you're right on.

1:02:43 Adam She hasn't been in a serious relationship by her own admission in like four or five years. I think she needs to get in a real relationship, the guy she cares about, you know what I mean? Have something real, because women do need that much more than guys.

1:02:59 Dr. Bruce Well, it would seem to me that an emotional relationship would be a lot more productive in that area and maybe not, you know, concentrating so much on the sexual aspect of it. Find someone that, you know, she cares about or whatever.

1:03:16 Adam You want to throw a name in, Inbris?

1:03:18 Caller Well, you know, I would, but...

1:03:20 Dr. Bruce Well, I'm just saying.

1:03:22 Adam No, I think you're right, and I know you're right with women.

1:03:26 Dr. Bruce I understand if you have a personal disagreement, you know, I know where you're coming from.

1:03:31 Adam Me?

1:03:31 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:03:31 Adam No, I don't. Let me tell you something about the way I feel about religion, and it's the same way I feel about homosexuality. I know it sounds a little confused.

1:03:44 Dr. Bruce Yeah, but this isn't really a religious comment. I mean, this is trying to figure out a problem. But if you want to take it that way, you can.

1:03:50 Adam I wish more people were gay, more guys were gay, and more people were Christian or born again or fanatical, not the Shiite fanatical, but sort of into their religion a little better.

1:04:07 Dr. Bruce Why? More chances for you.

1:04:09 Adam More women and sex. No, no, no. No, I don't mean that. I mean, I mean, I wish more. I wish teenagers didn't have sex until they were ready or until they were married or until they're ready to start a family. We'd be living in a utopia. I mean, don't get me wrong. I mean, we really would. I mean, imagine what would happen to this planet if starting tomorrow, teenagers, girls and boys only had sex when they were married. You know what I mean? It would clean up this world's trash and take about five, ten years and everything would be great. We could close the prisons down and turn them into landfills and lay cops off. Everything would work out. Don't get me wrong. People don't do it and I don't believe in God, but I really do wish more people did and followed that a little more closely.

1:05:01 Caller It's not even held up as an ideal anymore. That's the problem.

1:05:03 Adam And as far as a gay lifestyle, I wish more guys were gay. They're less violent and like I said, they recycle.

1:05:09 Caller They recycle.

1:05:10 Adam They're better people. They're better citizens. That's what I'm looking for.

1:05:16 Dr. Bruce Unfortunately, there are a few more problems than just people having sex. I mean, at least sex in a safe sense is not detrimental.

1:05:26 Adam Well, no, but a lot of the problems I think, and I've learned from doing this show, they stem from the sex. It's people basically raising kids that don't have business raising kids. The kids are neglected. The kids hit the streets. These are the junkies. These are the pimps. These are the prostitutes. These are these are the people that fill the prisons and fill the welfare lines. These are the people. These are the criminals. By and large, these are those people. These unwanted, screwed up kids that have been physically abused or sexually abused. This is what fuels all this stuff.

1:06:06 Dr. Bruce In essence, they're trying to fill the needs, but trying to find that in sex, but it's something else.

1:06:15 Adam Yes, yes.

1:06:16 Dr. Bruce You know, the caring that they didn't receive as a child or...

1:06:19 Caller Well...

1:06:21 Dr. Bruce Like, love. Right. I mean, it just reminds me kind of, in a small sense, in a high school sense, what my character kind of goes through, and the confusion between sex and love. And I mean, I've gone through that confusion. I mean, I think pretty much every single person has that experience with sex.

1:06:38 Adam Well, especially when, and I'm only saying this because we talk to them night after night. You know, daddy knocks up some woman and then moves on and knocks some other woman up and moves on for another woman, has a little girl, the girl's raised without daddy. She never gets that love, that nurturing, that support. Every guy becomes daddy. She sort of falls prey to these older guys who are willing to show her this attention. Lo and behold, she's pregnant at 15 or 16. She's in no shape to raise a kid. The guy who knocked her up has moved on to the next town. She has a kid and the cycle repeats itself.

1:07:16 Dr. Bruce I'm all about breaking the cycles because my mom, even though my dad and my mom split up when I was two, my mom kind of broke the cycle and raised me the exact opposite of how she was raised.

1:07:28 Adam Right.

1:07:28 Dr. Bruce And was able to break that circle.

1:07:30 Adam That's a strong woman and it's too bad. Most people are weak and sort of give in to the cycle. Not the menstrual cycle, but the cycle of abuse of life. They're both abusive cycles, if you ask me. Eric?

1:07:44 Caller Yeah.

1:07:44 Adam You're 21.

1:07:45 Caller Yeah. How are you doing, guys?

1:07:47 Adam Good.

1:07:48 Caller We're good. I got a question for Thomas. I'm a pretty big fan of DVDs, and I was wondering when, if most likely the movie will come out on DVD in a year or so.

1:08:05 Dr. Bruce In fact, I have an answer for you. As of today, just talking to my agent, which most of us actors have, and they sent, I guess, Universal Facts over something to me, asking my permission to put my face on the, you know, with the poster, since I'm in the poster, on the cover of a DVD, in fact. So they will be making a DVD for American Pie. And yeah, I mean, your guesstimate is probably right or so, a year or so.

1:08:31 Caller Yeah, my question was, though, have they talked to you guys about, like, bringing you guys together to do a commentary track?

1:08:40 Dr. Bruce I have not received any questions about that. Do they, I mean, I guess they usually do that on the DVDs. They add a lot of stuff on the end and stuff.

1:08:50 Caller Adam, do you have experience?

1:08:51 Caller Well, it's like, it's a, basically, it's a separate audio track on the disc where, like, the director and the cast or whatever will be talking about things that happened in the movie.

1:09:03 Dr. Bruce What kind of things are you wondering? Because maybe I can answer something for you right now.

1:09:06 Caller I just like the comments.

1:09:07 Adam Set your tape recorder.

1:09:10 Dr. Bruce I, you know, I don't know. I mean, I don't think they're going to bring us together to record that. But, I mean, they have plenty of, plenty of press that they could throw on there.

1:09:19 Caller So, we'll just have to wait and see. One of the good ones I've gotten recently was the Ghostbusters one. And they've got, they had Ivan Reitman and the, and the, and Haled Ramos and another guy, they did a commentary track over the movie.

1:09:35 Adam I just got, someone just gave me that, by the way, but I haven't seen it yet. And I have a couple of questions.

1:09:41 Caller Yeah.

1:09:41 Adam First off, Bruce, what were you going to ask? You going to ask something?

1:09:44 Caller I was going to ask if your experience with porno DVDs Yeah. sort of extend into this discussion.

1:09:50 Adam I think it bleeds into it a little bit. I did a little bleeding last night to the porno DVD.

1:09:54 Dr. Bruce Wait, did the DVD, did those have a commentary?

1:09:58 Caller He was telling us about it last night.

1:09:59 Adam Yes, yes. I actually, I want you to know how together I am. I lent that to somebody today. I almost cried. I actually, I lent it to someone today and I ran down the street waving and crying at it like it was going off to war. But I did lend my only porno DVD, my Jenna Jameson signed porno DVD to a friend today. So that mother effer better bring it back though. Drew and I did the commentary that you're speaking of, Eric, for Sleepless in Seattle about two months ago. By the way, I haven't, I don't know if it's been released yet. I haven't seen it or heard it, but somebody contacted us and said, why don't you guys do the forward or the commentary or the beginning on this thing? I have no idea why they asked us to do that, but we sat in another studio here and did Sleepless in Seattle Commentary or sort of soft. I don't know what they can use because they kept asking us how much of the movie was probable and we kept saying none of it. And our very bitter anti-relationship voice. So I don't know if they can use it.

1:11:08 Dr. Bruce Your first color bitter voice.

1:11:09 Adam A second of it. Yeah. I mean, it was really, it was really horrendous at the end of the whole thing. I said, Drew, we just spent an hour talking to Mike. And I think they can use 10 seconds of it because everything was like, that is ridiculous. That is fantasy. That would never happen. But anyway, why a year before it comes out on DVD? I mean, they'll release the movie on beta form, or I mean, VHS rental form in two, three months or three, four months. Why not release the DVD first?

1:11:39 Dr. Bruce Well, I don't know. I was just estimating along with them. I mean, maybe now it might come out at the same. Is that how the movies come out now? Like the DVD comes out way later?

1:11:47 Adam No, I think on movies like, let's say, Armageddon or some of these other movies, these summer movies that they released on video, I think they do sell the DVDs about the same time the movie comes out as video form, which is usually seems to be a little bit different from movie to movie, but it seems to be about three months, maybe three and a half months that the movies.

1:12:08 Dr. Bruce After the movie is out of the theater.

1:12:10 Adam Yeah. What is that time? Is there some sort of set time? Is it, does it vary from movie to movie? I mean, if they're, if it's a summer blockbuster, is it going to be different from another summer blockbuster?

1:12:22 Dr. Bruce It's called limbo time, I think, is the only thing I could come up with on the spot.

1:12:26 Adam Oh, this movie, this American Pie, $11 million it cost to make it, already made 18 this weekend. That's not the DVDs, that's not VHS, that's not Pay-Per-View, that's a beta, if you're my father, who went out promptly, bought himself a beta. My dad is so retarded with that stuff. This is not HBO and Cinemax and movies and airplanes and foreign distribution.

1:12:54 Dr. Bruce So what is it, Adam?

1:12:56 Adam I mean, when this thing is all tallied up, I mean, this movie is going to make 150 times its initial, I mean, not 150 times, I mean, wait a minute.

1:13:05 Caller How much do you get?

1:13:06 On the back end?

1:13:08 Dr. Bruce Do I look like Arnold Schwarzenegger? Come on.

1:13:10 Adam No, no, he got, listen, they fed him well, okay?

1:13:15 Dr. Bruce That's the only time I eat well is when I work on films.

1:13:17 Adam The days he was on the set. Okay, we'll take a little break. Thomas Ian Nicholas is here. He is from, obviously, American Pie. Dr. Bruce is here. He is from Loma Linda Hospital, right, Bruce? I know they don't like to talk about that, but yeah, okay. That's fine.

1:13:33 Dr. Bruce And Adam is here.

1:13:34 Adam And I'm here and we'll be back. Hey, hey, Thomas Ian Nicholas is here from American Pie. Dr. Bruce is here tonight as well, filling in for Dr. Drew, who will be in on Sunday, as far as I know. We got someone from the Blair Witch Project. The whole cast is coming in next week at some point. Am I right? Or is that, are we down? No, that's the week after that. All right. Yeah. I'm kind of interested in that movie. Oh, I won't be here? That show is going to suck then. That sounds interesting. I heard that movie was scary. Now, is that coming out this week? Which one? The two or three weeks from now, Blair Witch Project? Oh, I see. I see.

1:15:02 Caller Who fills in for you?

1:15:04 Adam What's that?

1:15:04 Caller Who fills in for you?

1:15:06 Adam I don't know. I have no idea.

1:15:10 Dr. Bruce I was just going to suggest that actually.

1:15:12 Adam Bruce, you can barely fill in for yourself.

1:15:15 Caller Thomas has very good judgment here. I think that he.

1:15:18 Dr. Bruce No, I think Dr. Bruce could do it.

1:15:21 Adam Do you?

1:15:22 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:15:22 Adam All right. I'll tell you what.

1:15:24 Dr. Bruce I'll tell you.

1:15:25 Adam Let's.

1:15:25 Caller Drew and I, man, we have a great show.

1:15:28 Adam Let's put that to the test, because I got to take a pee. I really do. So I'm going to take a pee. Bruce, you fill in for this next call. All right. You're feeling confident?

1:15:38 Dr. Bruce He gets to press the button and everything.

1:15:39 Caller Where are these buttons here?

1:15:40 Adam Are you ready? You see how this works? Yeah. Right. You want line one? Yeah. All right.

1:15:45 Dr. Bruce We'll let you get. You press the button. Okay. There you go.

1:15:47 Caller Yeah. Genevieve.

1:15:49 Caller Yep.

1:15:50 Caller Welcome to Loveline. This is Dr. Bruce. I've taken over the show temporarily.

1:15:54 Caller Sounds good.

1:15:55 Dr. Bruce And me too.

1:15:56 Caller Thomas Ian Nicholas is our guest. And how are you doing tonight?

1:15:59 Caller Pretty good.

1:16:00 Caller And what's the question for us?

1:16:02 Caller Well, I'm just kind of worried because I'm 16 and I still haven't gotten my period. And I was just wondering if there's anything I can do like not related to my doctor because I know I'm like, I babysit for him a lot. And I don't know, it's kind of embarrassing.

1:16:22 I just want to know if there's anything.

1:16:24 Caller Do you live in a small town where there's only one doctor or what's the story with that?

1:16:29 No.

1:16:29 Caller I mean, I could probably go to another doctor if I really...

1:16:31 Caller Well, you know what an option is? Family planning. It's in the phone book and it's free. You don't have to tell your parents. It's what? It's family planning. There are various clinics that are available to you that are free and that don't require parental notification or a note from your parents. Something like family planning would be that. Because 16 is a little late not to have gotten your first period, but it's not impossible that you're perfectly normal. The thing that happens many times is that you start to worry about it a lot and you're afraid to have the physical exam. You're afraid to go see the doctor and the worry builds. So the first thing you have to do is have a pelvic exam. And family planning or clinics like this, they do so many and they work with so many kids like yourself that it's really not that stressful. So how does that sound?

1:17:38 Caller And I have to say about American pie, my mom went to McDonald's the other day and bought me an apple pie.

1:17:47 Yeah, couldn't eat it.

1:17:51 Dr. Bruce Well, I understand and just beware of any apple pies with holes in them. Definitely stay away from those.

1:17:59 Caller All right, Genevieve, thanks for the call.

1:18:00 Caller Yep.

1:18:01 Caller All right.

1:18:02 Caller Bye.

1:18:03 Caller Well, my reign of terror is just one call long. And I and now Adam Corolla is back in the room.

1:18:11 Adam There's an angry mom protesting out front of the station.

1:18:15 Dr. Bruce No way. That was a good call.

1:18:17 Adam Really?

1:18:18 Dr. Bruce That was.

1:18:18 Adam It wasn't painful.

1:18:20 Dr. Bruce Really? I got to give like a little applause here.

1:18:22 Adam You got some props for Bruce? I'm sure it was an abortion. I didn't hear much of it.

1:18:27 Dr. Bruce All right.

1:18:27 Adam Let's see. Where are we going now? I can see you have your next call all lined up. You're ready to just segue right into that. They call you silk, don't they? Is that what they called you growing up?

1:18:38 Caller Silk?

1:18:39 Adam Red.

1:18:40 Caller Red silk. Corn silk.

1:18:43 Caller Silk.

1:18:45 Adam AJ. Yeah? You're 14. They didn't call you Rusty. Did they ever call you Rusty? You got red hair, Bruce. They didn't call you that. Rusty thing didn't work?

1:18:54 Caller No.

1:18:55 Adam Okay.

1:18:56 Caller Okay. Thank you for that.

1:18:59 Adam No, no. I was.

1:19:00 Dr. Bruce He was talking to Dr. Bruce.

1:19:01 Adam I was talking to Dr. Bruce.

1:19:02 Caller He was still picking on me.

1:19:04 Adam All right. Now AJ, go ahead.

1:19:07 Caller Okay. At my school, there's boys who turned on by watching Lesbians.

1:19:13 Adam Sure.

1:19:13 Caller And I don't get that.

1:19:15 Caller I'm not lesbian or anything.

1:19:16 Caller I love guys. I love you, Thomas. Wow.

1:19:19 Dr. Bruce Thank you.

1:19:21 Caller No problem.

1:19:23 Adam You know, it's great what I like about you. Drew would have went, who's Thomas? He's very, he's always confused. AJ, did you just hang up? Yeah.

1:19:33 Caller Wow.

1:19:34 Adam One of her lesbian friends.

1:19:36 Caller I think two is a Adam call.

1:19:39 Adam Okay. There's no call two on there.

1:19:41 Caller Oh, it's the second one on there.

1:19:43 Adam All right. It's my fault. I should have done the math. Mike?

1:19:47 Caller Yeah.

1:19:48 Adam You're 18.

1:19:49 Caller Adam, Dr. Rusty. How's it going?

1:19:51 Adam Yes. Rusty. That is his new name. Hold on. I got to write that down.

1:19:56 Caller Isn't that like Rin Tin Tin?

1:19:58 Adam Rusty. Rust, rust, rust. Go ahead.

1:20:01 Caller All right. So I think I got a pimple on my penis, but I don't know. It might be a general award, but is there only one general award? Or do they come in clan or what's the deal?

1:20:09 Caller You better be nicer to the doctor. I'll get the probe out and do a biopsy.

1:20:13 Caller I don't like that too much, Rusty.

1:20:18 Dr. Bruce Wait, wait. Who would like that too much?

1:20:19 Caller No, I'm sorry.

1:20:20 Caller Sit on your penis.

1:20:22 Caller I would really like your opinion.

1:20:23 Caller That's much better.

1:20:24 Adam Is the question, Mike, whether you can only get one or wouldn't there be more than one if it was?

1:20:31 Caller Wouldn't there be more than one if it was a general award?

1:20:33 Caller Not necessarily. And many general awards are subclinical. You can't see them. So what is this doing? Is it draining? Is it have a surface that's irregular, white, red?

1:20:50 Caller It's just like a bump. It's just a little...

1:20:52 Caller What part of the penis? The glands?

1:20:54 Caller No, it's right... It's like on the shaft.

1:20:58 Adam It doesn't seem like a zit or does it?

1:21:00 Caller Yeah, it kind of seems like a zit.

1:21:01 Adam All right, well lance it.

1:21:02 Caller Should I try to pop it?

1:21:03 Caller Sure.

1:21:04 Adam Hey, stick a pin in it.

1:21:05 Caller Does it have a central core?

1:21:07 Caller Yeah, it's kind of hard.

1:21:08 Caller No, but does it have a distinctly central area that's separate from the outside?

1:21:13 Adam Yeah.

1:21:14 Caller Okay, so there's something called molluscum contagiosa.

1:21:16 Adam Oh, that's worse.

1:21:19 Caller No, it's not worse. It's a viral thing and it's thought to be sexually transmitted.

1:21:23 Adam But it's trouble.

1:21:24 Caller Mike, so the question is, have you been at risk? Is there a reason that you think you might?

1:21:28 Adam Okay.

1:21:29 Caller Mike? Possibly.

1:21:31 Caller What do you mean possibly? Have you had unprotected sex?

1:21:33 Caller No, but I kind of played around with a girl and then, you know, played around with myself a little bit. Yeah, right.

1:21:41 Caller Well, that's especially with the human papillomavirus. Any secretions can transmit that.

1:21:47 Adam All right, but it is it's fairly unlikely.

1:21:49 Caller Is it going to go away or do I have to like treat it?

1:21:52 Adam Oh, listen, hold on a second. He screwed around with the girl. He put his hand in the girl and then he put his hand on himself.

1:21:59 Caller Right.

1:22:00 Adam That's unlikely, isn't it?

1:22:02 Caller Yeah, it is.

1:22:03 Adam You know, you know what drives me nuts about you doctors? You know, Bruce, I mean, Drew into this. There's no gray area. There's no percentage. It's just you freak the kids out. I mean, Drew does this all the time. Talks about, oh, yeah, you definitely got this or there's 100% chance of that. And the reality is, from the activity that he did, there's a very slim chance that he transmitted this venereal disease that way, isn't there?

1:22:34 Caller Well, right, except for viruses. Viruses are real tricky. And it's like the other night, somebody called and said, can they transmit their non-genital virus on the hands to the genital areas?

1:22:44 Adam Right.

1:22:44 Caller And afterwards, of course, I have all my genius friends that say, well, you said this incorrectly or that correctly. There are different opinions on that. And one book stated, no, you cannot. And others said, well, they've done typing and they have typed non-genital viruses on genital.

1:23:00 Adam Well, you never say never. But it's highly unlikely that, let's say, a wart would go from your hand to your genitalia.

1:23:07 Caller Well, again, that's one of these disorders, one of these infections where it's more likely than any of the others.

1:23:15 Adam OK, so he should go to a doctor.

1:23:17 Caller Oh, absolutely. Have it.

1:23:18 Adam Have the penis checked.

1:23:19 Caller But, you know, at whatever age, 18 or 14, going to the doctor, you know, put down the, you have a sore throat if you're embarrassed. A lot of people are embarrassed to state what the problem is.

1:23:27 Adam All right, but the doctor can get frightened when he's looking at the charts of sore throat and standing there with the penis hanging out.

1:23:34 Caller Well, before he hangs it out, he can.

1:23:36 Adam Oh, I see. And let me ask you about the word. You said subclinical, like underneath the skin.

1:23:43 Caller No, it's not. It's a clinical.

1:23:49 Adam I know what clinical is, but you said subclinical. I thought it was.

1:23:51 Caller You're not having any symptoms. It's there, but you're not having any symptoms of it.

1:23:55 Adam Oh, okay. You're talking about his penis, it's subclinical. And I thought that you're talking about his clinical was skin somehow. And I was going to say, I never heard that. But subclinical means no symptoms. Right. All right. He should still take his subclinical torpedo in and have it looked at by the doc, right? Okay. We'll take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to David. David is 18, performs oral sex on his girlfriend, but she doesn't return the favor. How to rectify the situation. We'll get to that after this.

1:24:29 I feel so liquidy. Really?

1:24:31 Caller You're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, I'll be right back.

1:24:47 Caller For the erotic pleasures of women.

1:24:52 Adam All right, why are you asking her that, Drew? I mean, Bruce, let's just finish our conversation here.

1:24:58 Caller Better than the question.

1:25:00 Adam Speaking of the microphone, please, Bruce, please. I know it's, Drew can't figure that out either.

1:25:06 Caller It's too heavy to lift this thing up.

1:25:08 Adam Drew does one thing that's annoying that you don't do, by the way, which is he punches the mic. He reaches for things, he does things, and he smacks into it every show. It's uncanny. It's uncanny that a guy who's been on radio for 15 years will smack into the mic at some point during each show.

1:25:26 Caller Brain development is rather...

1:25:27 Adam And he likes to put the cap on the dry erase pen. He likes to put it on after each call like this. He doesn't look at that as bad radio at all. Him thumping things hard on a flat surface that is picked up by every mic in the studio. He doesn't have any problem with that either. All right, Dr. Drew is out of here. Dr. Bruce is filling in. Thomas Ian Nicholas is here from American Pie.

1:25:55 Caller Hello, hello, hello.

1:25:56 Adam You know what we need? We need actually to hear like a Drew Boogie or Drew Shuffle because we do play that when he's gone. Anderson, you got anything like that? What is this?

1:26:07 Dr. Bruce What are we gonna hear?

1:26:08 Adam Anything like that around? That's a bunch of out of context Drew drops. We normally play when Drew's not around. It's just engineer Mike is out.

1:26:19 Dr. Bruce Are you jonesing for Drew, Adam?

1:26:21 Adam I do miss that son of a gun. I really do. I hate to admit it. I wish I hadn't said it on the air, but I miss the guy. I mean, come on. I mean, Bruce, you're fine, but.

1:26:33 Dr. Bruce You're no hang time star.

1:26:34 Adam It's just no hang time star. Are we gonna hear the Boogie? Let's hear the Boogie. Let's hear the Dr. Drew Boogie. Yeah, it'll be like he's back again. Here we go.

1:27:29 It's called Intimacy. Can I say that? You're fat. You're gay. Confused. You're sick. You're overweight. You're filiburgent. You're dysfunctional. Not acceptable.

1:27:43 Adam That is, by the way, that's Carrot Top's ow in the background.

1:27:47 Dr. Bruce Oh, I was just wondering, I thought that was you, Adam.

1:27:49 Adam No, that's the amazing prop comedy of Carrot Top in the back. And that's Dr. Joyce Brothers at the end with the Dr. Drew's right. Anderson, do we have any more Drew drops? I think a bunch of few of those. I missed a guy, a few good Drew drops.

1:28:06 Dr. Bruce He's really Jones and for Drew.

1:28:08 He wants to groom this child for his, you know, abuse farm.

1:28:12 Caller That's a abuse farm.

1:28:14 Adam Dude, just give me a few good ones.

1:28:16 Caller There's a wives sale out there that black males have larger penises. Faggot better run.

1:28:21 Caller That's a good one.

1:28:22 Caller I'm in my 30s, I live in an urban center and I'm having sex.

1:28:26 Caller I like that one too.

1:28:28 Dr. Bruce Wait, play that one again.

1:28:29 Adam No, keep going, there's a few good ones.

1:28:32 Caller I'm in pain, my breasts hurt, I was bored, so I had my tongue pierced. I was bored so I put a spear through my penis. She drinks until she barely has her senses about her and then she can relax enough to have sex with me. I'm homosexual, I'm freaked out about it, I'm trying to be heterosexual but I have these overwhelming homosexual feelings. Ever since I stopped taking Depo-Provera, I have been lactating.

1:28:56 Adam Play the hand one in there Anderson, do you have that marked somehow?

1:29:01 Caller I find you stealing my underwear again, here's what's going to happen, this is not acceptable. Find a new position, it's called intimacy.

1:29:10 Adam That's good, come on, keep on going, I can't get enough.

1:29:14 Caller I tried to be straight or I thought I should be straight and I was confused. I recently went to a fraternity party and got really drunk. I randomly hooked up with a guy and we had sex. I didn't even know his name the next morning. Now he keeps calling me and I don't even still remember his name. You know, if anything, I want to be dominated.

1:29:32 Adam Wow, it means many revelations from Drew and the stuff he doesn't talk about when he's here, but it really comes out.

1:29:38 Caller I did LSD 50 times in two years.

1:29:41 Adam Oh my God.

1:29:42 Caller You know, the Drew Shuffle, if you should have to release that on CD or something and it got real popular, that would bother Drew, I think, if it were like in the charts.

1:29:50 Adam I think it could catch on, yeah.

1:29:51 Caller It's pretty catchy.

1:29:53 Dr. Bruce Maybe just a hidden track on someone's CD.

1:29:55 Caller I still want to hear it in a movie.

1:29:57 Adam The hand, can't find it?

1:29:59 Dr. Bruce Maybe we'll put it on a DVD as the commentary.

1:30:03 Adam It really should be, yes, on the Sleepless in Seattle one, perhaps.

1:30:07 Caller Well, I'd like to work with Thomas on an Adam Shuffle.

1:30:10 Adam Katie?

1:30:11 Caller Yeah.

1:30:11 Adam You're 16?

1:30:12 Caller Yes, I am.

1:30:13 Caller Uh-oh.

1:30:14 Adam Oh, good. I like harpsichord music, finally. What is going on in the background there?

1:30:20 Caller Uh-oh.

1:30:22 Caller In my radio, I'm playing a Sarah McLaughlin CD.

1:30:25 Adam Oh.

1:30:25 Caller You're calling from England?

1:30:26 Adam Nice.

1:30:27 Caller No, I'm calling from Arizona, actually. All right.

1:30:31 Adam Hey, Katie?

1:30:32 Caller Yes.

1:30:32 Adam Can you turn the music down?

1:30:34 Caller Sure, hold on a second.

1:30:35 Caller All right, hurry. Don't want to interrupt.

1:30:38 Adam My God. I'm not going to punish you because it's late in the show and you have a cute accent.

1:30:44 Caller All right. Thank you very much.

1:30:45 Caller Where are you from?

1:30:47 Caller I'm from London, actually.

1:30:48 Adam Fantabulous.

1:30:49 Caller I've lived here for just a year, actually.

1:30:51 Caller Great.

1:30:52 Adam Don't ever lose that accent.

1:30:55 Caller I've been listening to your show the whole time. And I want to say, I'm so excited. I finally got through. I've been trying for forever.

1:31:00 Caller Great.

1:31:02 Caller Well, the question is, my mother has a boyfriend and she's 36 and this guy's 23, actually. And I'm 16 and I'm very attracted to this guy and he's attracted to me as well. And we recently had a sexual experience together and I'm kind of wondering how to approach it to tell my mother about this.

1:31:23 Adam You're not one of those homicidal nannies, are you?

1:31:27 Caller No, I'm not.

1:31:28 Adam Oh, this is a disaster. You know, it's funny though. I know this sounds bizarre, but when we have someone calling from New Jersey with the same problem, it's like, oh my God, this is a disaster. Everyone needs therapy. This is a mess. You've crossed boundaries with Katie. It's sort of whimsical and cute.

1:31:47 Caller I wonder if Katie's here telling mom as if this is a relationship that's going to persist. No, you realize that it's a disaster.

1:31:54 Caller Oh, totally.

1:31:54 Adam And you've broken it off.

1:31:57 Caller Well, it's kind of hard to. He's of course staying here most nights. This was the night actually when she was up in Flagstaff visiting one of her best friends and he just stayed here because I get along with him and so does my brother.

1:32:13 Caller How old is your brother?

1:32:14 Caller My brother's 12.

1:32:15 Adam Right.

1:32:16 Caller And so the 12 and 16-year-old get along with the 23-year-old, but he decided to have sex with you. Yeah. He's in Congress and he's in big trouble.

1:32:24 Adam Well, here's the thing, Katie. We don't really blame you because you're 16.

1:32:31 Caller I never would have made a move to do it even given the fact that I'm unbelievably attracted to this guy.

1:32:37 Caller But it's really bizarre.

1:32:39 Adam How did he make the move?

1:32:41 Caller We were sitting watching a movie with my brother and we were watching Joe Maguire because he had never seen it. My brother went to bed before the movie was over. So we were out there watching it together. We went in my room because I brought the script to the movie and I was sharing it to him. Then all of a sudden things got quiet and one thing led to another and it happened.

1:33:03 Caller Right.

1:33:04 Adam Did he tell you, give you any instructions about not telling your mom and that kind of thing?

1:33:08 Caller No, that's the funny thing is he didn't at all. I think he knows that I'd be afraid to tell her in that.

1:33:14 Adam Right.

1:33:14 Caller Does your mom tend to be accepting and understanding about things like?

1:33:19 Caller To any extent.

1:33:20 Adam Like her kids having sex with her boyfriend.

1:33:22 Caller Are you afraid to tell her?

1:33:24 Caller I don't know if it's that I'm afraid of what she'll do or if it's that I don't want to risk the embarrassment or I just don't know.

1:33:32 Caller The embarrassment is his. It's not yours.

1:33:34 Adam And somebody said the voice is so surreal. It's like, Mommy, I had sex with your boyfriend. Bullocks.

1:33:42 Caller The booger.

1:33:44 Adam Booger.

1:33:45 Caller Listen, is there another adult that's sort of the... Oh, boy.

1:33:51 Caller I think too that I've considered this as not because everybody in our circle of friends knows everybody else.

1:33:56 Adam Oh, boy.

1:33:56 Caller Okay.

1:33:56 Adam Okay. Listen. Hold on. Forget about Bruce here.

1:33:59 Caller All right.

1:34:00 Adam This... Here's the problem.

1:34:02 Caller Uh-huh.

1:34:03 Adam You need to cut this off immediately.

1:34:05 Caller All right. How do I do that, though?

1:34:06 Adam You really do. You got to...

1:34:07 Dr. Bruce You just stop.

1:34:08 Adam You stop. You put your legs together and you go to bed early.

1:34:11 Caller Hold on.

1:34:14 Caller Hold on just a second. I'll give it to you in a minute. All right.

1:34:18 Caller Was that Mom?

1:34:19 Caller No, that was my sister.

1:34:21 Adam What happened to her accent?

1:34:23 Caller Oh, she's not from London. We're all from different dads, actually, all three of us.

1:34:27 Adam Or is her dad from Cleveland?

1:34:30 Caller No, he's from Los Angeles, actually. That's another crazy thing, is all three of us from different dads, and my mom's going through a divorce right now as well. Everything's kind of blaring up in my head.

1:34:40 Adam Okay, there's some serious boundary issues in your family, but don't act out. You're not going to make them any better. Your mother has successfully found another horrible guy to hook up with. What a surprise. What an amazing surprise that mama, after picking a whole stable of bad guys in the past, has found herself another despicable guy.

1:35:04 Dr. Bruce Are we talking about that circle that continues?

1:35:06 Adam Oh, yes. Mama, I'm guessing mama hasn't had a lot of clarity in her life.

1:35:13 Caller She's going to need somebody to process this stuff with because she's going to get depressed. It's confusing to her already. She's got a lot of fear of...

1:35:20 Adam Okay, so the first thing she needs to do is stop.

1:35:23 Caller There's a victimizer in the house. Mom's not...

1:35:25 Dr. Bruce Yeah, he needs to get out of there. That's the bottom line.

1:35:28 Adam Yeah, he needs to get out of the house. So does she tell mom?

1:35:31 Caller She needs to tell some responsible adult that will take action.

1:35:36 Adam Who?

1:35:36 Caller Help her take action.

1:35:37 Adam Well, older sibling, aunt and uncle. Why don't you, Katie, confide in an aunt or an uncle, a family friend, somebody older, someone who you trust, and you guys can reach a decision together. But this guy does need to get out of the house. Because if you cut this guy off, I wouldn't be surprised if he forested on you. I really wouldn't. I mean, I don't trust this guy, right?

1:36:02 Dr. Bruce What are you saying?

1:36:03 Adam I'm saying if she said to him, just think mom goes to Flagstaff or Phoenix one night, they're back at the house, he starts coming on to her and she says no, I wouldn't be surprised if he kept going.

1:36:16 Dr. Bruce Yeah, she definitely can't confront him with the situation. She needs to confide in it or talk to her mom.

1:36:23 Adam We'll take a break. We'll be back.

1:36:55 Caller All right.

1:36:56 Adam That's it. Oh, you found the hand? All right, let's hear it. Are we hearing it? No?

1:37:12 Caller My lover likes me a lot, but sometimes I'm scared because he is very active. He gives me oral sex, I just give him the hand.

1:37:19 Caller All right.

1:37:21 Adam Bruce, your timing could have been worse. We're trying to list the hand. All right, everyone give the hand a hand. We got to get out of here. That is it. Thomas, thank you very much for coming in.

1:37:29 Dr. Bruce Oh, no problem. Thank you for having me.

1:37:30 Adam Lovely to meet you. You're a real breath of fresh air in today's drugged up, temperamental actors in this horrible town. You really are a ray of sunshine.

1:37:42 Dr. Bruce I put on a good act.

1:37:43 Adam I believe every second of it. American Pie, go out and see this film. It's good. I saw it and Thomas is great in it. Thanks very much. Much success to you. Bruce, another mediocre job turned in. Thank you very much and until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Bruce saying.

1:38:03 Caller This is Ben Loveline. The views expressed on Loveline are not necessarily those of the staff, the management or the sponsors of this radio station. You're probably meant the views of Westward One Entertainment.

1:38:14 Caller Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkin Zingel.

1:38:16 Caller Now, please listen to this station longer.

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Wednesday, July 14, 1999