Episode 1000754887379

0:52 KQBC, Seattle.

1:02 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Adam Hey, this is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-4-4-5-5. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Drew, you eating over there?

1:31 Drew I'm just about done. Yeah.

1:32 Adam How was Thanksgiving for you?

1:34 Drew Nice. I ate lots of cranberry sauce, fresh cranberry sauce. Good. Good. In your honor.

1:39 Adam Good.

1:39 Drew Your honor.

1:40 Adam Very good. Very good.

1:41 Drew How about yours?

1:42 Adam Yeah. Lots of fresh everything. Everything's good. I ate entire pumpkin pie yesterday.

1:48 Drew Nice.

1:48 Adam Always proud of that. And my poo has turned into a soft swirl because I've not eaten one ounce of fiber, I realize. Unless you count, does the crust count as fiber on a pie?

2:00 Drew Oh, yeah.

2:01 Adam Oh, OK. Well, I'm looking good then. I haven't eaten any fiber in like four days. I'm trying to keep that streak alive.

2:09 Drew How about the stuffing?

2:10 Adam When I get scurvy, that's... Well, stuffing is a bunch of fat and bread.

2:16 Drew Bulk, bread? Yeah.

2:17 Adam But I don't know. That's not the same as eating, you know, carrots and celery and stuff.

2:21 Drew Oh, you don't need any roughage.

2:23 Adam Oh, roughage.

2:24 Drew Yeah.

2:24 Adam Wait, what does it do? Isn't roughage fiber and fiber roughage?

2:27 Drew It's a little bit different.

2:28 Adam Is roughage rough fiber?

2:31 Drew Roughage is undigestible of other type than not just fiber.

2:36 Adam I'm thinking about swallowing a Brillo pad just to kind of even things out.

2:40 Drew That will catch you up, I think.

2:42 Adam Yeah, just to kind of send something down the line, you know, knock any obstructions out, grab whatever.

2:49 Drew You know, I did watch a lot of television during Thanksgiving.

2:53 Adam Yes.

2:53 Drew And I was pleasantly surprised.

2:56 Adam At what?

2:56 Drew Well, sort of worn out old formats being delivered in a clever, interesting way with good cast and stuff. That was good.

3:01 Adam TV in general?

3:02 Drew Yeah, sure. I haven't seen TV in like four years.

3:05 Adam Speaking of TV, the Man Show is on right now. The great Man Show, the Playboy Best Of episode is on tonight. Oh, that is a laugh, Ryan. Monty Messex is our guest tonight. Monty has been on this show before. Monty is an old, old, old friend of mine. As a matter of fact, his mother hit me. I think we're talking about that.

3:30 I told my mom about that.

3:31 Adam Roberta? Did you remember?

3:33 Yeah.

3:33 Adam Oh, yeah.

3:33 She claims not to remember.

3:34 Yeah, of course.

3:35 Adam Sure. Convenient. It is payback time for Monty's mom to whack me when we're in the back of her car. But you remember Monty, right?

3:44 Do I? I don't remember.

3:45 Adam You don't remember her hitting me?

3:46 I don't remember that.

3:46 Adam I guess it's the kind of thing a child blocks out.

3:49 But I could I could I could imagine it, though.

3:51 Adam Yeah.

3:51 Drew Shocking, isn't it?

3:52 Anybody would want not shocked at all.

3:54 Drew Yeah. Maybe Roberta can come back in here and pop you on a couple more times. Straighten your ass out a little bit.

4:00 Oh, yes.

4:01 Adam Yes. What a what a fun childhood. I mean, I've been hit by two parents in my life. Neither one of was my own parent, which most people don't have that kind of distinction. But anyway, Monty is here talking about the Children's Hospital and AIDS and all that good stuff. So, Monty, why don't you depress us for about 30 seconds? What do you know?

4:22 Depress you. How about enlighten you a little bit?

4:28 Adam All right.

4:31 So I'm here tonight to talk about the HIV awareness campaign. It's what we did last year also, raise awareness around testing for HIV among young people. And just to put the word out, World AIDS Day is coming up December 1st. And Children's Hospital Los Angeles where I work is involved in a national campaign to link people with testing. Hopefully find people that are HIV positive early on in the infection so they can get treatment.

5:04 Adam How's it going now with all these cocktails and potions and what not? I mean if you catch it early enough is it something you can exist with?

5:12 Drew Yes.

5:14 Yeah, big time. They have the heart, the highly active, retroviral therapy and apparently they say hit it early, hit it hard but also the flip side of it is I think a lot of young people think oh well they've got all these therapies, look at Magic Johnson, blah, blah. People are living long time so I don't need to use a condom so it's not a big deal.

5:37 Drew What happened to the good old days when Spin Magazine ran articles on how HIV was concoction at the Gallo Institute and the NIH?

5:43 Adam Are they still standing behind that?

5:45 Drew Who?

5:45 Adam Maybe they're still with that.

5:46 Drew Oh my God.

5:47 Adam Why not? Why wouldn't they still believe that?

5:49 Drew Because it's bizarre in this point where people are being, you know, you focus therapy on the HIV, the viral loads go down, people live indefinitely.

5:57 Adam But they were talking about HIV as being manufactured.

6:01 Drew No, no, no. The whole concept of being manufactured.

6:04 Adam Oh the concept?

6:04 Drew Yeah, that it was, it had no relation to the AIDS process.

6:08 Adam I see. I'm sure they'll print a retraction very shortly.

6:11 Drew That's good. They seriously ought to do jail time. Seriously, they do damage with those kinds of articles.

6:18 Adam Yeah. Well, next time we get Bob Guccione Jr. on here, you bring it up. And he was in here not too long ago.

6:27 Drew I did bring it up.

6:28 Adam Oh, barely. Listen, stop talking for a second. I want to talk to Monty about the good old days.

6:33 The good old days.

6:34 Adam Boy, I used to build a lot of stuff out of clay.

6:37 Out of clay and also do the Pop Warner football.

6:42 Adam Oh, yeah.

6:42 Drew Have you played football with him, too?

6:44 No, but I used to go and watch him play.

6:45 Adam Oh, yes. He was one of my biggest fans.

6:47 He was obsessed with football.

6:49 Drew Instead of his family.

6:49 But he was cute in that little football tight pants.

6:54 Drew You're gay.

6:56 Adam Now, Monty, we'll get back to the hay of here before we veer off too far. So, you know what we need to do? We need to kill Magic Johnson.

7:08 No.

7:08 Adam No, you don't think so? Don't you think he'd be a good martyr for the disease? I mean, what if he died of, you know, let's kill him of hepatitis or something like that. Word would get out very quickly, would scare people. They'd start using protection again.

7:22 Drew He probably could be a nice public health education tool for HIV intervention if he didn't publicly take the position that it was prayer that's actually cured him.

7:33 Adam Oh, he doesn't do that.

7:35 Drew He's saying a lot of that stuff.

7:36 Adam No, he talks about his doctors and he talks about the therapy, how his doctors pray for him and how his therapist prays for him.

7:45 Drew No, not that prayer's a bad thing, but there needs to be more to the story.

7:50 Adam I've heard him talk about it before and he talks about exercise and he talks about good health and he talks about his medication. I know, Drew wants the world to kiss his ass because his folks put him through some school, but that's not the way it works. Listen, so here's what I'm saying, though, people are taking this disease more lightly, right?

8:14 Caller I'm not sure that's true.

8:15 Adam Oh, listen, you just got done saying that's what it was.

8:17 Caller No, I said that there is a flip side. You know what, you could be right. You could be right.

8:21 Adam Of course they are.

8:22 Caller That especially among young people, you know, that they don't realize what a pain in the butt, you know, that it's not some walk in the park, that if you're HIV positive, it's not like an aspirin in the morning. It's pills that make you sick. And that you feel cruddy and it's, you know, it's a big bummer.

8:38 Adam But they don't look at it as a death sentence. And frankly, I think it's a little bit of a backlash because here's what happened in my in my guesstimation, although, you know, I don't read. I just, you know, I watch television. But here's what I figured out. First AIDS goes unnoticed for a long period of time. Then there's this huge backlash against it going unnoticed about being a gay man's disease and all that kind of stuff. And Liz Taylor and everyone else jumps on board and everyone's wearing a ribbon. And then it goes too far the other way. Everyone could get it, it doesn't matter who you are, it doesn't matter where you come from, it doesn't matter whether you're a junkie or just a heterosexual sex with virgins. You have just as big a chance. And they went over the top with it that way. And then as they as what happens with everything when people go over the top one direction, people stop listening. It's like what the government tried to do with marijuana. You'll go insane, you'll go psychotic, reaper madness, and now people stop listening. And I think something like that happened with AIDS, which is, I think they went a little too far with it. And now people have stopped listening a little bit. This thing that they were spinning, you know, five years ago, eight, ten years ago, that everyone can get it, everyone's going to get it, you know, everyone has the same chance of getting it. Well, people aren't getting it, or at least not like they said they were going to get it. And so they've gone the other way, which is they're not paying attention to it anymore.

10:07 Caller Yeah, and perhaps in our country, I mean, other parts of the world, it's, you know, they say in Africa one in four people, you know, HIV positive in certain parts of Africa, Asia, Vietnam, what have you, where the seroprevalence rates are just huge, Thailand. But perhaps in our country, you know, it's that there's a bit of a backlash on it. Also that there's a whole generation of people that have grown up in the age, you know, the last 20 years with HIV where condom use is normal, you know, and that, you know, that they've grown up in a totally different era, you know, where it's, you know, sex is about protecting yourself and...

10:52 Adam Well, that's good though, right? What about testing now? Do you still have to wait six months or do they have this DNA testing? Is this working out? Are people using this?

11:03 Caller Well, testing is, they still use the Elysa test, which tests for antibodies and takes anywhere from two weeks to six months to develop antibodies to HIV.

11:12 Adam They can't work this out where it's a little bit faster?

11:15 Caller Well, if you're like a porn star, you can get testing that will tell you, you know, if you're positive the day of the test, it's a very expensive test.

11:23 Adam How much is it?

11:24 Caller It's like, what, 50, 60 bucks for their, what are they called?

11:29 Adam All right, what about bringing that price down?

11:31 Drew Polymerase chain reaction.

11:32 Adam How about bringing that price down? You know, I think part of the reason people don't get tested too is because they get tested and then what do they do for six months? You know what I mean? It's not a very gratifying test to take. Not that the test should be, but what I mean is, I don't care what the test is, whether it's a driving test or a math test or a HIV test, you go in to get a test because you need it.

11:53 Caller You get the results right away, but the results tell you basically what you, in the most conservative estimate, they tell you what you did six months ago. I mean, you should be clear about that. You do get them the results right away. But the reason that they use the ELISA test, the antibody test, it's just, it's a more inexpensive test, and they figure that most people...

12:12 Adam How about getting the price down on the porn test?

12:15 Caller On the PCR test.

12:16 Adam Yeah, I mean, how about, can that, and I know as stuff turns more mainstream and gets into production, they can bring the price down. What about focusing on that? I mean, if that were 30 bucks, I think people take that. I think people spend money on that. What's, why not work that angle?

12:34 Drew It's not as good of a screening test, as I understand it.

12:36 Adam Yeah. It's not as accurate?

12:37 Drew As a screen.

12:39 Adam What do you mean, as a screen?

12:40 Drew Screen, you don't want to miss anyone who's got it.

12:42 Adam Right, but is it the difference between 99 and 97 percent, or is it in the 70s or the 60s?

12:49 Drew A good screening test should be 100 percent.

12:51 Adam Okay, but what I'm saying is, is it a couple percentage points difference?

12:55 Drew Tenths of a percentage point is different, I'm sure, but that's a big deal when you're talking about millions of people.

13:01 Caller It's just also the difference between just price, that most likely the prices of those tests don't go down, and most people and most agencies need free tests.

13:12 Adam Right.

13:12 Caller And it's actually, the ELISA test is a good test, as long as part of HIV getting a test is that they explain what the test is measuring. You just don't get a kick in the butt, they just don't take some blood or take an oral swab and give you a test, they explain, this is what the test is measuring, it's measuring antibodies, antibodies take a certain amount of time to develop in response to being HIV positive, blah, blah, blah. And that's the test that they can offer for free, you know, and it is a good screening test.

13:47 Adam Alright, so everyone go get tested, except for me. John?

13:52 John, this is John.

13:53 Caller Yeah, John.

13:53 Adam You're 20, what's up?

13:55 Caller Yeah, I really like to go mountain biking and stuff. And when I get done, or actually this just happened the last couple of times I've done it, I've just been real, just numb, like, you know, my penis and everything else. I've just been numb. And is this, I've heard that it cuts off circulation when you ride.

14:17 Drew Well, it's not so much the circulation, but the pressure on the nerve called the pudendal nerve, which is the nerve that goes out to the penis. And you can actually damage it. And I see more and more people with various kinds of problems related to spinning and mountain biking, including obstruction of the urethra and pudendal nerve damage and rectal dysfunction. There's all kinds of things that can happen. Make sure you have the right kind of seat and make sure you're not traumatizing the area.

14:40 Adam Yeah. You got a pad on that seat?

14:43 Caller Yeah, sometimes.

14:45 Drew Yeah.

14:46 Adam Yeah, not really though, right? No. I mean, I know you don't want to look gay with those big springs and big quilted seat, right? Yeah, you might as well hang a basket off this thing.

14:55 Drew How are we going to make sure they change the seat? Okay, here's the deal, John. Your penis isn't going to work if you keep going down this road.

15:00 Caller Yeah, I heard it makes you like sterile or something.

15:02 Drew It makes you not get hard anymore.

15:03 Adam Don't they have?

15:04 Drew You don't feel your penis.

15:05 Adam They have new seats now with like a hole cut out in the middle, like a slot cut out. Have you seen these things?

15:11 Caller I have.

15:12 Adam They look pretty good. They're kind of like a regular bike seat, but they have like a hole cut out in the middle.

15:17 Caller Does that help or?

15:19 Drew Get the right kind of seat. Talk to somebody who knows something about bikes.

15:21 Adam I'm guessing. I'm guessing it does.

15:23 Drew It's not us, okay?

15:24 Adam Okay. Oh, it is me. Yeah. Get the one with the slot cut out, John, and save your nuts. And listen, all you guys are crazy with the spinning and spending four hours a day on the mountain bike. Knock it off, please. Dylan?

15:37 Caller Yeah, hey.

15:37 Adam You're 24. What's up?

15:39 Caller All right.

15:39 Caller Well, I've got a question about a product called Andrastein.

15:42 Caller It's a hormone, male hormone, kind of like a workout supplement.

15:47 Drew It's testosterone, basically.

15:49 Caller Yeah, exactly. When I take it, I can hold an erection like constantly all day long. Right. I'm taking it. I'm wondering, I've been taking it like every day, so I don't know what the downside of it is. I know every drug tends to have an equal and opposite downside.

16:03 Drew That's right. And it's not been well studied, but it's going to be similar to any other anabolic or androgenic steroid in that taking it in sufficient quantity, it's eventually going to drop your sperm count. It's going to make your erections not work quite so well. It's going to drop your libido. It's going to make you depressed.

16:18 Caller It's going to make you impotent then.

16:20 Adam You've got to get one of those new bike seats. The slot cutout makes them my answer for the night.

16:26 Adam is the funniest man alive.

16:28 Drew Liver and kidney problems, heart disease, strokes, those are all possibilities of excessive andogen. So it's something...

16:34 Caller There's possibilities of depression and...

16:36 Drew Oh yeah. Absolutely.

16:37 Adam Hey, listen, Dylan. Yeah. Are you lifting a lot of weight?

16:40 Caller Yeah. Well, I'm working out. It's the reason I take it, it's for my workout program.

16:44 Adam But what, why? What are you training to be?

16:47 Caller Not just trying to be strong and in good shape.

16:49 Adam I know. But, you know, good shape. Let's examine that phrase, good shape.

16:54 Drew All I need is a bike seat.

16:56 Adam No. What I'm saying is, good shape doesn't mean not being able to achieve an erection and being prone to tantrums or crying while driving. You know what I'm saying?

17:06 Caller It's good shape.

17:07 Adam Well, let me tell you, let me tell all you workout guys something. I have to give this speech every once in a while. You're busting your ass for nothing. You really are. There is a certain subset of women who really like a guy with big bounding muscles. Those women are crazy bitches. Crazy. Those are the chicks with the big hair and the unicorns painted on their nails and have had the collagen injected into their lips where it looks sort of a comical. That's those chicks. You want those chicks? Hit the gym, brother. Hit the tanning salon. Get your body greased up, shave everything off of everywhere except for the top of your head and your eyebrows and have had it. You want good-looking chicks other than the crazy ones with the collagen injections? Just jog a little, swim a few laps, do some push-ups, do some chin-ups. That's what they want. They don't want the big crazy muscles. And you spend a lot of time trying to get those and they'll go away. You bust your ankle and four weeks later, they're gone. I think guys work out that way for other guys. Not the gay guys, although Lord knows. Lord knows the gay guys do that for the other gay guys. But even the straight guys do it for the other guys. Not for them, but to intimidate them. They want respect from them and they want the guys to think they get a lot of poon tang. See, stupid guys see a guy with huge arms and say, Boy, I bet that guy gets a lot of tail.

18:41 Drew Yeah, a lot of addicts in gyms too. And addicts, they have sex addiction, they act out with other sex addicts. Women who are attracted to that kind of symbol.

18:49 Adam Listen, guys, you know who gets the most tail? It's the emaciated guys. It's the small guys. It's the scrawny guys.

18:56 Drew The heroin addicts.

18:57 Adam The heroin addicts. That's right, Drew. So here's my message.

19:00 Drew Get your HIV.

19:01 Adam Put down the dumbbell and pick up the syringe. Pull those steroids out of it and put some H in it there. Put a little smack. You want the ladies? That's what you do. Thank you. Susan?

19:14 Hi.

19:15 Adam Hey.

19:16 I have a question for Dr. Drew.

19:17 Adam You're 26, by the way. You're on with Monty Messex.

19:20 Caller Hi, Monty.

19:21 Adam Monty's from...

19:23 Caller Hi.

19:23 Adam There you go. Monty's from the Children's Hospital and he is... Oh no, he's against AIDS. That's right.

19:30 I hope we all are. No, I'm for...

19:32 Adam Oh, for AIDS. For AIDS. Sorry. He's pro-AIDS.

19:36 Caller For testing.

19:37 Adam For testing because he's pro-AIDS. Right. Big fan of AIDS. Susan?

19:41 Caller Anyway, my question for Dr. Drew is, I heard that if you take St. John's Wort and you're on the pill at the same time, that it can dramatically reduce the effectiveness of the pill.

19:52 Drew I don't know about dramatically, but the pill interacts with lots of different medication. It makes sense to me that particular progestational pills might not work so well in St. John's Wort.

20:02 Adam Why? Are you depressed?

20:04 Caller I have been on both the pill and St. John's Wort for two years. Since I heard this bad stuff about St. John's Wort, I have been tapering down and I'm going to just go off. Where did you hear that? I actually asked at my last exam and the nurse practitioner said that there had been a study out and it was really not the best study or no one really knew.

20:29 Drew Right. It's not all that well studied but it makes sense that it might not work.

20:33 Caller Yeah, it does make sense but I guess I'm wondering since I'm pretty much decided to go off of St. John's Wort because of, I don't know.

20:42 Drew Who's treating you with St. John's Wort?

20:43 Caller I'm treating myself.

20:45 Drew You're treating yourself for depression?

20:47 Caller On St. John's Wort, yeah.

20:48 Drew That's bizarre.

20:49 Adam Well, maybe she's not that depressed. How depressed are you?

20:53 Caller Not that depressed.

20:54 Adam There you go. Well, don't you forget about that Wort.

20:56 Drew But listen, let's just put it in this context, Susan, though.

20:59 Adam Oh, no.

21:00 Drew Just listen.

21:01 Adam I know. This is ridiculous. Can I leave?

21:03 Drew Well, what's ridiculous? If I were depressed, I have many different medications at my disposal.

21:08 Adam Right.

21:08 Drew It would be insane for me to treat myself. That's considered foolishness.

21:14 Adam We've done this before. Drew gives it to me, and I hand it to him. Technically, I'm treating him.

21:18 Drew For people to be treating themselves for depression is bizarre. If you have a bona fide medical condition that needs evaluation, and then let somebody else make those decisions about therapeutics for you, that's fine.

21:29 Caller Previous to going on the St. John's work, I had been in therapy, and at one point it was just mentioned.

21:35 Adam Listen, hold on. Drew's on the National Depressive Board, which is very fitting. Hold on.

21:42 Drew Shut up.

21:43 Adam The reason he's pushing depression as a medical illness is because he's in the pockets of these people. But everyone's depressed a little bit. It's a matter of degree. And when it gets over a certain point, then it becomes a bona fide condition.

21:56 Drew How do you decide if you're...

21:57 Adam I decide. That's how.

21:58 Drew That's the point. If somebody, the director of the manager, should take St. John's work, it's fine. Somebody also should decide how long and when it stops and under what condition it stops.

22:05 Caller Can't you get St. John's isn't like at Trader Joe's or at the health food store. It's all over the place. It's not like.

22:10 Drew But it's the point is these are serious conditions and people don't even know about it. Have you ever tried?

22:15 Caller But also people maybe kick around depression. Maybe she's.

22:18 Caller That's what I'm getting to.

22:19 Drew No, she saw a therapist. Therapist brought it up and she followed direction. Hold on a second. It's a little closer to what I would like to say.

22:24 Adam Wait a second. You ever try to kill yourself?

22:27 Caller No.

22:27 Adam You're fine.

22:28 Caller No, I'm not that bad.

22:29 Adam Yeah.

22:30 Drew You should be in the insurance industry.

22:31 Caller That's where you should be, Adam.

22:33 Caller I wanted to...

22:34 Adam Wait a minute. How do you sleep at night?

22:36 Caller Pretty well.

22:37 Adam You do?

22:37 Drew Yeah. But she's on St. John's Ward.

22:39 Adam All right. Get off that ward. See how you sleep. Listen, if you sleep fine, you're not depressed.

22:44 Caller Well, okay.

22:45 Drew So when I'm off...

22:46 Caller How long before I can feel safe being on the pill alone?

22:51 Drew Next cycle.

22:52 Caller Next cycle?

22:52 Drew Yeah.

22:53 Caller Oh, great. Because I was going to be off...

22:55 All right. All right.

22:57 Adam We can't dedicate the entire show to her.

22:59 Drew What have you been doing all weekend? Sitting around... You've been alone. You've been sitting alone, masturbating and napping.

23:04 Adam How... Oh, yeah.

23:06 Drew That's what I was trying to say out there. So you've had no contact with humanity for three days or something?

23:10 Adam No.

23:10 Drew Other than your family, which doesn't count?

23:12 Adam No. You know what's going on? They keep running these marathons of certain shows on television. And I'm going insane.

23:20 Drew Rugrats are on. No.

23:22 Adam No, no, no, no. There's a show called Junkyard Wars where... Has anyone seen this show? You seen this show?

23:29 Caller I saw the commercials for it.

23:31 Adam They basically let these gearheads loose in a junkyard. It's an interesting show. Even you could get it up for this, Drew. They say... Here's what they do. It's filmed out of... It's in England or somewhere. They let two teams of gearheads, like four people, five people on each team together, they cut them loose in a junkyard. They give them 10 hours to build a... Could be a submarine, could be like a hovercraft, could be... And they give them a task. Your vehicle must go X amount of feet on land and then go X amount of feet in the water and then go X amount of feet on land with all four of you aboard. And whoever does it the fastest wins the coveted whatever it is. I saw 11 of those straight, you know? I couldn't turn it off because I had to see who was going to win at the end and then the very next one they were building some kind of land yacht or some sort of flying machine or something. I had to watch. I couldn't turn it off. Then BattleBots on Comedy Central came on and they were running a marathon.

24:35 Drew It's BattleBots.

24:36 Adam This is this great thing in San Francisco. It's been going on for a lot of years that people build these remote-control robots, but they're not really robots. They're essentially riding mowers with blades on themselves and they beat the crap out of each other to see who wins. You've never seen the competition? It's been around for a lot of years.

24:59 Drew I'm glad I missed out on that.

25:00 Adam Oh my god. I'm sitting there in my underpants on my fifth class of wine thinking I'm going to build one of these babies. I'm stunning you now. I'm giving you all fair notice, because I will be in the arena with my BattleBot one day. These guys are great. I mean, they're all the same guy.

25:20 Drew Is your airplane friends?

25:23 Adam Yeah, these are my model airplane friends with a slightly more aggressive, antisocial streak to them. Crazy guys who are made fun of for playing Dungeons and Dragons, and now they become electronic engineers, and they sit in their basement of their mom's house all day. Yes, Trekkies. But anyway, the point is, is they have these marathons, and these things should be outlawed, because I cannot get off of them. I saw, you know, 15 BattleBot episodes and 11 Junkyard War episodes. All right, Monty Messex is our guest tonight. Is the Man Show on? Yeah, it's on now. We'll take a break. We'll be back.

26:02 Caller You know what I'm saying, Adam?

26:22 You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio. 100.7 The Buzz.

26:41 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LLVE-191. Monty Messex is our guest tonight. Monty is not only a guy I've known since I was eight years old, maybe seven and a half, but also works at the Children's Hospital in Los Angeles. Working, he's here tonight talking about AIDS, and what's the fastest growing AIDS, new AIDS victim population, Monty?

27:17 Caller I think that probably the largest group are, well, there's a lot of different groups that are expanding. Women for one, women of color.

27:31 Adam It's nice to see them stepping up.

27:34 Caller Young men who have sex with men also moving up. But I think that one of the largest groups that...

27:40 Adam See, who says white men are hogging everything? You know what I mean? We're always accused of gobbling up everything. But here's women of color stepping out and asserting themselves.

27:51 Caller Yeah, and mostly though I think that the concern is that among young people, that rates of HIV are increasing among young people.

28:00 Drew It says every hour of every day, more than two people under the age of 21 are infected with HIV. Is that worldwide?

28:06 Caller No, that's the United States. That's actually out of a recent report from the White House on HIV that just came out last month. Yeah.

28:16 Adam Wow.

28:17 Caller And it's, they did something, youth and HIV AIDS and American Agenda.

28:21 Adam Did you?

28:22 Caller And it's out of the White House.

28:23 Adam I don't know if you know this, that 53,000 people died last year of secondhand smoke in the United States. Is that coming from the same source? Here's my problem. It really is. And I hate to be such a hole. But now I don't believe anything. Ever since that goddamn secondhand smoke statistic of 53,000 people dying in this country from secondhand smoke and all, ever since the anti-smokers got hold of the number, did start doing the math on stuff. Now, when I hear reports on anything, I don't believe it. Do you know what I'm saying? It is ruin me. I'd like to sue them for stealing my hope or my faith.

29:03 Caller I don't believe it.

29:04 Adam I mean, I believe it, but I don't believe anything anymore.

29:08 Caller But the thing is with numbers get cooked up here and there and all the kick-punching around. But in terms of HIV, which is a preventable disease, you have to say to yourself, I'm a human being, I'm a person, I'm not a statistic, and what can I do to protect myself? I think that's the reason I'm here tonight is to talk about HIV testing and about how people can protect themselves.

29:33 Adam Right.

29:34 Caller And it's a reality, it's a reality.

29:37 Adam All right, you're ready to hop on the phones here? I was listening to, by the way, I was listening, I know it's big amongst African Americans, and I was listening to Jesse Jackson deliver some speech on, I don't know, some public access radio or something. And he was talking about how high it was in Africa. I mean, you were talking about how it's like, I don't know, 25% of the population has HIV. And then he was talking about what a travesty it was that African Americans were six times higher and a six times greater chance or 600 times or whatever it was. Greater chance, six times and 600 times, same thing, isn't it? If you think about it, why not?

30:24 Drew 600%, you mean?

30:25 Adam Oh, percent, sorry. I don't mean times, yeah. Here's my point. He was angry that the African Americans had a six times higher chance of getting it than other folks. But I thought, all right, but that's still pretty good considering, you know, you got the African part right in there and the African American. You know what I mean?

30:44 Drew I thought it was not so bad. Compared to other worldwide experiences of people there...

30:50 Adam Yeah, it's 25% in your country of origin, you know what I mean? And here, it's only...

30:55 Drew Speaking of cooked up numbers.

30:56 Caller But the thing is that HIV primarily affects people in lower socioeconomic. That is, people that don't have as much money in our country tend to be the people, whether... Regardless of skin color, that's where it focuses.

31:11 Adam Let me explain something to everybody. Let me explain. Poverty, that is the ultimate bias. Forget about racism, forget about sexism. Povertyism, that will get you. You can buy your way out of anything. And it's dangerous to be poor. It is.

31:31 Drew Oh, and the statistics show that.

31:32 Adam Of course. But people want to act like it's not or like everything should be equal. Here's the deal. When I was poor, I drove a beat up mini pickup truck with no headrest, with my head resting against the rear glass of the thing, with no airbag, with no side impact beam, with no nothing. I probably had a thousand percent chance higher of crashing or of dying in a crash. Now I got a car.

32:03 Caller Not to mention you probably didn't have health insurance. I didn't have any of that.

32:07 Adam Didn't have any of that. That had to do with being poor. And when you're poor, you do stuff. You have jobs that are more dangerous. You sit at a bus stop at two in the morning in a bad neighborhood.

32:20 Caller You eat worse food.

32:21 Adam You live, you eat worse food. You live in a neighborhood where the crime rate is higher. There's just lots, there's, it's, it's dangerous. Lots of risks. Yeah, there's lots of risks. And this is just, this is another one of those risks. So forget about the hiv, make some money. That's my point. You know how many airbags my car has now? It has one in the trunk, just in case I'm trying to smuggle someone across the border. There's a trunk airbag in there. I have a rectal airbag. It's actually on the bottom of the seat. It goes up my ass.

32:49 Drew You're not supposed to use that question frequently. I may have mentioned that to you.

32:52 Adam I got a little toggle put on the dash.

32:54 Drew I know.

32:54 Adam It's for long trips.

32:56 Drew Retractable airbag. What does that mean?

32:59 Adam It's a rectal retractable airbag. It actually comes up out of the seat and then darts back down.

33:03 Caller In the BattleBots, one of the guys from BattleBots built that into your car.

33:07 Adam I'm putting an airbag in my BattleBot. Kimmy?

33:11 Caller Yeah, I'm here.

33:12 Adam You're 16.

33:13 Caller Yeah, I was wondering if it's normal for a girl to masturbate two times a day.

33:19 Adam It's a little light. I'd like to see that number bumped up to three or four.

33:24 Caller Yeah, on video.

33:25 Drew How old were you when you started this?

33:29 Caller Probably about 13.

33:31 Drew And is it interfering with your life in any way?

33:35 Caller Not really. But I was just wondering like hormonally if that would screw anything up.

33:41 Drew No, no. The question is though, do you have some sort of sexual compulsion? And an easy way to sort of assess your risk for that is how your upbringing was. In other words, during your childhood, were there any traumas that might have...

33:53 Caller Oh, definitely.

33:54 Drew Yeah. And so being traumatized either with physical abuse or sexual abuse or...

33:58 Caller No, it was more of a mental, you know...

34:01 Drew Yeah, all that... It's funny the way the brain works. Some of that gets converted into sexuality as a way of sort of managing those feelings.

34:06 Caller Also, I'd like to know if manic depression has to do with something with hypersexual activity.

34:11 Drew Absolutely. If you're in a manic phase or a hypomanic phase, definitely lots of sexual activity.

34:16 Caller Well, my mother was, so...

34:17 Drew So this may be... So having been in that kind of a chaotic environment, having that genetic predisposition, this hypersexuality or manifesting may be just a sign of that coming forward. So it would be just a good idea to get an evaluation just to see if there's something you should be watched for. Not that you have to stop masturbating, but it may be a sign that something's going on.

34:37 Caller Yeah, maybe I just listened to Loveline too much.

34:40 Adam Yeah, where's your dad, crazy?

34:43 Caller I don't have one. He's not with me. I've never met him before, so let's put it that way.

34:49 Caller But masturbation is very safe as far as...

34:52 Caller It's safe, so I understand that.

34:53 Adam I mean, if you use a condom, it's safe.

34:55 Drew And it's not interfering with your life any right now, but you can't get HIV from masturbating. No, lacking?

35:00 Caller Lacking, like, you know, sexually. It's not like I don't get any, it's just that...

35:05 Adam Yeah, sure.

35:06 Caller I like to, you know, and I like to do it my way. I was just wondering if that's healthy.

35:11 Drew But Kim, I guess you didn't hear anything I said.

35:13 Adam It started off as healthy, but then now it's starting to spill over and done with it.

35:17 Drew Yeah, it's a sign of a bigger picture of something going on.

35:20 Adam All right, let me talk to this, Kim.

35:21 Caller Yeah?

35:23 Adam You have some problems.

35:24 Caller Yeah.

35:25 Adam It's not the masturbation. Don't focus on the masturbation.

35:29 Caller Okay.

35:30 Adam That is a byproduct of whatever energy you have.

35:34 Drew It's a sign of something else.

35:35 Adam That's right. Your dad's abandoned the family, your mom's a little screwy and you got some energy.

35:40 Drew You got a genetic makeup that might send you down this path.

35:44 Adam Here's the deal. You have to not get pregnant.

35:47 Caller Okay.

35:48 Adam You understand?

35:49 Caller Yeah, I understand.

35:51 Adam That's my mission for you. You're not going to get pregnant.

35:53 Caller Okay, and get one of the new bicycle seats, right?

35:56 Adam Yeah, get that bike with the slot cut out of the middle of it and don't get pregnant. As a matter of fact-

36:02 Caller Use condoms.

36:03 Adam I'd like to get a, I'd like to invent a bike seat that made guys sterile. I believe guys who spend more than 10 hours a week on a bike should not be having kids.

36:13 Drew Should be rendered sterile, right? Okay.

36:15 Adam Well, think about it. You want that raising your son, raising your daughter, you know what I mean? Here's a guy spending that kind of time on a bike seat. This is an adult on a bicycle, for Christ's sake. Okay. And listen, I don't trust any of these guys who turn whatever their hobby is into some kind of way of life. You snowboarding idiots, you skateboarding guys, you biking guys, all you guys. Fine. I understand you're into it. I'm not. Keep it to yourself. I don't need to see the stickers and the patches, the decals, the racks. I don't need to know about your life. I don't need to pass you at the Vons and know you're seriously into snowboarding. Do you know what I mean? I'm not jacking off at the Vons. I don't want you snowboarding. Do you know what I'm saying?

36:56 Drew There is a tendency toward people to identify themselves.

36:58 Adam Hold on a second. Anderson yelled into the mic except before people were talking at the exact same time he yelled into the mic. So what was he saying?

37:06 You make a living off talking about what you do all the time.

37:09 Adam How dare you?

37:09 Masturbating.

37:12 Adam Did you hear him?

37:12 Drew He should make up some masturbation stickers.

37:14 Adam What I'm saying is-

37:15 Drew I love, I heart, here you go, Adam, it's for you.

37:18 Adam Whatever it is you're into, don't advertise it. I don't care what it is. I don't care if you're Mr. Straight Guy, Mr. Gay Guy, Mr. Biker Guy, flawed, all of you.

37:28 Drew A common and simplistic version of this is people put stickers of their high school or college on there. Just so people-

37:34 Adam Don't like those people.

37:35 Drew But people, you share something, you identify someone, you have contact with somebody around a shared issue. Yes. So the natural progression of that is to sports and styles and things like that.

37:45 Adam Yeah. I don't mind you. I don't mind knowing that you're an alumni of Loyola Marymount. It doesn't bother me that much. It's when we start getting into professions, start talking about how nurses do it from nine to five or these. You start basically laying out the kind of person you are and your license plate. I mean, yeah, I don't have any stickers. I deem everyone with a vanity license plate as flawed.

38:13 Caller That is true.

38:14 Adam Yeah. I don't trust any of those people. I'm not interested in what your kids' names are. I don't care. I don't care what you're into. I don't care how much, you know, if you're into two-stepping. I don't care what you're into. And I don't want to know. And I think there's something wrong with you for wanting me to know about it. That's all I'm saying, especially on the highway. And then the ones that just advertise, they're good, they're bitchy people. Like, you know, they see these license plate frames, they'll say like, 99% angel, 1% bitch, or yes, I do, but not with you, or these A-holes with the Bad Boy Club sticker on their rear bumper. Oh, man, this guy's tough. He's got a sticker. Look at that. What's he advertising? Don't rape him? What is he saying? And then there's, of course, the ones with the Calvin or Hobbs. Peeing. Peeing. The other guys that are angry at other makes of automobiles. He's a Ford man. He's pissed off about any guy driving a Chevy. Everyone knows Ford rules. Because his brother-in-law was stupid enough to buy one and then give him his F-150. I just don't like people that advertise in general.

39:24 Drew And it is all about you. So yeah.

39:26 Adam It's flawed. You know what I'm talking about. You don't have a goddamn thing on your car. Is there?

39:32 Drew Barely have wheels.

39:34 Adam Drew actually had the license. You actually had the car name pulled off of your car, right?

39:40 Drew Yeah. I know people see that.

39:41 Adam You took the B of the BMW. It just says BM on it now. Fantastic. Monty Messex is our guest tonight. He's here from the Children's Hospital in Los Angeles. Old friend of mine. And tonight we're trying to enlighten ourselves on AIDS. We'll be back after this.

40:18 Caller You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Buzz.

40:29 Adam Yeah, it is a loveline of Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Monty Messex is our guest tonight. Monty's here talking about HIV and AIDS. Monty had a national number to call, an 800 number, Monty. Oh, wait, don't give it out just yet. We're gonna let people grab that pen and pencil and poise themselves with that. And then this is a number they can call for what?

40:54 Caller And this is a number that you can call to get a referral for testing if you live in, it's a national number, so you can call it, tell them where you live. They'll give you, either they'll hook you up directly with a testing site in your area, or say like for Los Angeles, they'll direct you to a number that you can call to get free HIV testing. A lot of these testing sites do oral testing, that is they don't have to take blood, they use, they don't test your saliva, your spit, they just take like a little scraping out of your mouth, basically, and test the cells in your, inside of your cheek. And, so this is an 800 number, it's kind of a weird 800 number, but it's free. So it's 866-EXAM-HIV, 866-EXAM-HIV. That's the number.

41:50 Adam How does that work?

41:51 Caller 866-392-6448.

41:57 Adam And, so, so, you mean it's a, it's a, eponym. It's, yeah, but it's a, I thought it was an acronym. Yeah, acronym. It's a, it's a, eight, the 800 is the 866 part, right?

42:09 Caller Right, right. They ran out of, they ran out of the 800, so they went from the 888 to the 866, and who knows what's next.

42:17 Adam All right, so we're now in the 866 exam.

42:20 Caller But it's free.

42:22 Adam Yeah. All right. Uh-oh. Drew, uh, Drew's scared he may be wrong about something. Uh, Janie?

42:29 Yeah?

42:29 Adam You're 21. What's up?

42:31 Caller Okay, I was in a situation over the weekend where I was at a bar, and there's like a lot of people, and I was in a, like a crowded stairway. That one shredded up ne- like, someone shredded, you know, there's so many people passing, someone came up, you know, beside me and kind of shredded against me, and it felt like a hard pinch on my shoulder. And I looked in the light, and it, the mark that had been left was like, what could have re- resembled a possible puncture wound?

43:03 Drew Like a needle?

43:04 Caller Yeah, as in a needle. And I was wondering how much truth do you find in like accusations that people make, you know, like the rumors that people say that people are getting stuck in like bars or movie theaters or people, you know, by some psycho that's out to infect people with needles?

43:20 Drew Yeah, I've never heard that.

43:21 Caller No, I mean, I get emails all the time. People talk about it.

43:25 Caller And did the puncture wound draw blood?

43:29 Caller No, but the thing was, is that I had a physical done where I had to draw some blood and I didn't bleed afterwards at all.

43:36 Drew How do you know it was a puncture if there was no?

43:38 Caller I mean, there was no, I mean, it just looked like a like I've been pricked by something. There was like a scratch as well. And I was like freaked out. I had a police report made.

43:50 Adam Police report. Jesus Christ, honey. Do you have your own personal police force or is this the one we all use?

43:57 Caller I told the bouncer what had happened at the club and they have to do that, I guess.

44:01 Drew They have a liability.

44:03 Adam Why do you tell the bouncer?

44:05 Drew They should do the right thing.

44:06 Caller Did you like see a needle or is it something in there?

44:08 Adam This is what the cops are busy doing.

44:09 Caller There are so many people and it could...

44:12 Caller It wasn't just like a sharp pencil or did the guy have like a pin in his coat that he forgot to take out or something like that?

44:19 Drew So the question then becomes should she have prophylaxis for... Exposure and I would think not but it's a contestable point.

44:28 Adam All right. But this is a wives tale. There's people going out and infecting other people and then taking their lipstick and drawing messages on the mirror of the hotel. They just got done having sex in and it's right up there with stealing the guy's kidneys and selling them on the black market.

44:45 Caller I can't believe everything you hear but then you know it's like.

44:49 Caller I know.

44:49 Caller I think that the analogous thing is in hospitals, people do get pricked by needles and then the question is, do you go and get some kind of treatment? And a lot of times the odds are that the treatment's not really warranted.

45:07 Caller Right.

45:07 Adam All right.

45:08 Caller Maybe you'd be worried to get tested.

45:10 Adam Yeah. Go get tested. Okay. Have fun.

45:14 Drew So definitely get tested. Definitely get tested.

45:15 Adam Yeah. And everyone, leave the cops alone, please. Please let them go out and do something other than sit around with their goddamn radar guns and go to clubs and write up crazy chicks who got stabbed with a belt buckle going down on a stair. That's two cops. What do you say? Two cops, what, two and a half hours, for Christ's sake? Oh, Jesus. Driving down Beverly Boulevard two days ago, there was the cop just sitting there, just sitting on that driveway, just holding that radar gun. Not enough manpower. We don't have enough manpower. Yeah, because you're all sitting around trying to bust taxpayers. Get off your ass and get busy.

45:57 Drew Zach is 15. Zach?

45:59 Adam Oh, you nut jobs, calling cops, come over as your cat's in a tree, or your husband had too many wine coolers, or the neighbors playing their stereo too loud. Come on.

46:08 Drew Zach?

46:09 Adam These guys do something.

46:10 Drew You there, Zach? Zach, you're sleeping?

46:14 Caller Zach, 25 minutes.

46:15 Adam Forget Zach. Katie?

46:18 Caller Yep.

46:19 Adam You're 24. What's up?

46:21 Drew What?

46:22 Caller Ever since I started having sex, that was when I was 19, I've had problems on and off with pain during sex. And it seems to get worse when I'm on the pill. I ended up, I went through a phase where I tried a bunch of different kinds of pills and whenever I was on it, it was horrible. And then if I stopped it within a couple weeks, it seemed better.

46:45 Adam All right. Well, let's just get to this. We don't have much time. Are you crazy?

46:49 Caller No, not at all.

46:50 Adam No, you sure?

46:51 Drew Do you lubricate normally?

46:53 Caller Yes. Yeah.

46:54 Adam You ever get raped or sexually abused by your dad, uncle, grandfather, neighbor, gardener, nobody at all?

47:04 Drew Any medical problems, any anatomic problems?

47:09 Caller I'm depressed and I'm being treated for that. But before that even happened, why are you depressed?

47:15 Adam What's up?

47:16 Caller I'm just, I am depressed.

47:19 Adam What do you got to be depressed about?

47:22 Well, that's what the depression is about.

47:23 Caller I honestly don't have anything specific to be depressed, but I am anyway. That's why I'm on medication.

47:28 Adam I see. So it's a family thing?

47:31 Caller Yeah. It's a chemical thing in my family.

47:34 Adam Okay.

47:35 Caller All right.

47:36 Adam I think my family has that too.

47:38 Drew Oh yeah.

47:39 Caller The question I have also, cause talking about family stuff is, I had spoken to my mom about this before and she said that she used to have a lot of pain during sex.

47:49 Adam Oh, I'm so happy I wasn't there.

47:51 Drew We gotta revisit this.

47:52 Adam All right. What should he do? No, I'm not gonna, what should she do?

47:55 Drew I'm not going back. I need more information.

47:56 Adam That's enough.

47:57 Caller No.

47:57 Adam Take a wild stab then. Wild gas. Talked her off the air.

48:02 Caller All right. All right.

48:03 Adam We'll be back.

48:21 Caller Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7, The Buzz, KQBC Seattle.

48:46 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. Dr. Drew is in the other room talking to, I hope he's talking to our last caller. Yeah, he is, there he is. And he labeled her as nuts and hostile. I hope she can't hear us right now. Drew, you can't hear me, can you, brother? No, good. He looked over here as if he could hear me, and then he looked back down again. Yeah, get her off the phone, would you, Drew? All right. Monty Messex is our guest tonight. Monty is not only a guy.

49:16 Caller Hello.

49:17 Adam I met originally, I'd say eight years old. What would you say, Monty?

49:23 Caller Oh, jeez. I can't even remember. I remember, though, that it was old enough where I slept over at your house on the weekends, you slept over at my house on the weekends, and we probably slept in the same bed together.

49:36 Adam How dare you? But we were poor.

49:41 Caller But we were little kids.

49:43 Adam Monty, Monty and I had all kinds of fun growing up. We got a refrigerator box and went down some grass hill behind his house. His mother, Roberta, smacked me in the back of their Volvo station wagon while we were driving.

49:57 Caller I remember having goulash at your grandfather's house.

49:59 Adam Oh, went over to my grandpa's house and had a beautiful bowl of authentic Hungarian goulash. We go way, way back. And now Monty, and this is pure coincidence, by the way, he's working for the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles. And he's trying to, he's waging a one man crusade to prevent AIDS.

50:18 Caller No.

50:19 Adam At least the two man. Drew?

50:22 Caller Drew.

50:22 Adam How'd that go over there?

50:24 Drew Interesting. Did you talk to that last scholar? Yeah, interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

50:26 Adam She all right?

50:27 Drew Yeah.

50:27 Adam All right.

50:28 Drew But I mean, she really has a sort of medical problem there. And she's going to talk to gynecologist about estrogen creams or testosterone creams sometimes help. It's actually an issue of how the tissue functions down there. And I had the onus of telling her that maybe she should have to keep it down below five minutes of activity.

50:44 Adam Oh.

50:45 Drew So as not to irritate that whole thing.

50:46 Adam Nice. Yeah. What do you mean how the tissue, the vaginal tissue works? How does that work?

50:52 Drew Well, it's under the influence of hormones. If the estrogen levels are not high enough, if the, you know, the sort of environment isn't good, the tissue gets irritated and dry and atrophic.

51:02 Adam What do you do with that estrogen cream? Does the man put that on his penis and then? No.

51:07 Drew No. She just puts it on the outside and the little applicator to put it in.

51:09 Adam Oh, really?

51:10 Drew You could be the applicator, Adam. That's what you're getting at. Could I?

51:14 Caller This has to go there.

51:15 Adam Could I eat the estrogen cream and inject it my own way?

51:19 Drew No.

51:20 Adam No, that wouldn't work?

51:20 Drew It wouldn't work like that. No. No more than you could inject marshmallow. You know what I'm saying?

51:25 Adam Something else to try for.

51:27 Caller You could create a battle bot.

51:30 Adam With a hole in the seat, Staria?

51:34 Drew Staria?

51:34 Adam Staria?

51:36 Caller Oh, Staria.

51:37 Adam Staria.

51:38 Caller Staria, yeah.

51:38 Adam Oh, boy. Your parents, were they serious with that? Really? Are they, what are they, hippies or what are they?

51:46 Caller I don't know.

51:47 Caller Yeah. I suppose like back in the day.

51:50 Caller Well, wait a minute.

51:51 Adam Back in the day is 1984.

51:53 Caller Yeah.

51:55 Caller I guess they just thought the name was pretty.

51:57 Adam All right.

51:58 Drew Yeah. I'm thinking about the kids of hippies now. We don't have to worry about it. They're 40.

52:01 Adam No. I know. Yeah. Happy and sunshine.

52:05 Drew Maybe these are the ones having the Staria's and the sunshine.

52:09 Adam Staria?

52:10 Caller Yeah.

52:11 Adam Go right ahead.

52:13 Caller Well, first of all, I wanted to say I love your program.

52:16 Adam Thank you. Thanks.

52:17 Caller Yeah.

52:20 Caller I'm a masochist. You know, a lot of people pretty much praise it, you know, on the Internet and everything.

52:27 Drew Pretty much what?

52:28 Adam They praise it.

52:29 Caller They're OK for masochism, SNM and everything.

52:32 Adam Right.

52:32 Caller But if you actually have it, it's a disease. It's a very big problem.

52:37 Drew Interesting. What do you mean?

52:39 Caller I can't stop myself from cutting or burning.

52:43 Drew You know, that's not masochism. That's self-mutilation. That's cutting. That's self-mutilation. That's different.

52:48 Caller Yeah.

52:49 Drew Masochism is really considered a fetish of sexual expression. Like in order to function sexually, you have to have a certain amount of violence brought on in the inner, in the action of sex. But cutters and self-mutilators do that all the time as a way of managing all kinds of feelings.

53:06 Caller So it's not called masochism?

53:07 Drew No, it's called cutting.

53:09 Caller Oh, really? Oh.

53:10 Drew Or self-mutilation.

53:13 Caller Yeah.

53:14 Drew You burn yourself with cigarettes and cut razor blade marks and that kind of thing.

53:18 Adam Yeah.

53:18 Caller Yeah.

53:19 Adam It's like you're holding yourself hostage and trying to get information out of yourself.

53:23 Drew It's interesting that you would even associate with a sexual sort of form of expression because people have tried to make that connection, that there is some sort of throwback to something about one's sexuality, but it's sort of irrelevant.

53:35 Adam So what happened to you?

53:38 Caller I don't know. When I was little, I was kind of on the chunkier side, I guess. And I just thought maybe it would bring out the pain or something, you know?

53:48 Drew No.

53:49 Caller But yeah, it just, I guess I learned to like it.

53:53 Adam Hold on a second. You were chunky?

53:56 Caller Yeah.

53:58 Adam So what?

53:59 Caller Well, I mean, I have a mother who's very weight conscious and an older sister and you know.

54:05 Adam Chunky. You were chunky? And so I still don't get it. Your mom was weight conscious. What did that mean? She didn't like you being chunky?

54:15 Caller Oh, no. She never really said anything. But, you know, I know that's an amazing amount of pressure from being in the mirrors.

54:23 Drew There's something missing here. What else happened to you? Something big missing.

54:27 Caller When I was younger, nothing really happened.

54:29 Adam What happened? Did anyone beat on you?

54:31 Caller No.

54:32 Caller Oh, my God.

54:32 Caller No.

54:33 Caller I had, like, the greatest family life.

54:37 Adam What about your sister?

54:39 Caller What about her?

54:40 Adam What about her?

54:41 Caller Nothing.

54:42 Adam You said you brought her into the equation.

54:45 Caller Well, because she was always very, you know, look conscious also.

54:50 Adam I see.

54:51 Drew And she was always the perfect one.

54:54 Caller Yeah.

54:55 Adam What did you do? What did your dad do for a living?

54:58 Caller He's a blacksmith.

54:59 Caller A-ha!

55:00 Caller Blacksmith.

55:02 Adam Blacksmith.

55:02 Caller They still have blacksmiths.

55:04 Adam Where are you calling from? The 1800s?

55:06 Drew Do you have a car?

55:08 Caller Yeah, of course we have the car.

55:09 Adam They drive away.

55:10 Caller Two of them.

55:11 Adam Two cars? Yeah. Your dad made it in the foundry.

55:14 Caller Well, a truck and a car.

55:15 Adam You did what?

55:16 Caller A truck and a car.

55:17 Adam A truck and a car. Your dad's a blacksmith?

55:19 Caller He makes, like, gates and stuff.

55:22 Adam Yeah, I see.

55:23 Caller That's right.

55:24 Adam Yeah, I could use a guy like that. Alright, so nothing big. No abuse.

55:29 Caller No, no sexual abuse.

55:31 Adam No one did anything horrible to you? No. Alright, well then stop. Thank you. If nothing happened to you and you grew up in a loving environment with two parents that still remain together and share with you with love, then stop burning yourself with cigarettes. There's got to be more there.

55:48 Drew Yeah, there's more there, but I would say it's not going to come out. Just talking to her on the radio and it's a sign that there's some real serious emotional issues going on.

55:58 Adam How much of this can be nature? Can it be nature?

56:03 Drew You and I never hear about it.

56:04 Adam We don't, but can, I don't know if it's documented, can people have a certain propensity for that sort of activity?

56:10 Drew And then given the right environmental cues to bring it on, maybe, but I've never seen it that way. It always has some sort of specific stuff going on.

56:20 Adam Yeah, so what I mean is, alcoholism has its gene.

56:25 Drew Yeah.

56:25 Adam This is another thing where you get a sort of a thrill from-

56:29 Drew It's real common in addicts.

56:31 Adam High-risk sort of behavior or risky behavior.

56:34 Drew If I had to-

56:34 Adam Painful behavior.

56:35 Drew If I had to paint her family portrait, that's an alcoholic dad, over-intrusive mom, perfectionistic, idealized older sister, and she's the chunky one that it was intruded upon also, but doesn't get all the benefits.

56:47 Adam Well, dad's gotta be an alcoholic. He's a blacksmith. Stariah, your dad's an alcoholic, right?

56:54 Caller No.

56:54 Adam Yeah?

56:55 Caller Well, he drinks occasionally. The thing is, I'm not fat anymore.

57:00 Adam Doesn't matter. You'll always see a fat person in the mirror.

57:03 Caller I'm just like, chunky.

57:05 Adam This like, I'll always see a Brillo head in the mirror. That's the way it goes. Really? Is you think you're...

57:11 Caller Somebody that would love me like a boyfriend or something. Is that gonna help?

57:15 Adam No one can love you until you learn to pay them to love. No, until you love yourself.

57:23 Drew I'm concerned about the kind of guy you would choose.

57:25 Adam Yeah.

57:26 Drew That's the concern.

57:27 Adam I can't believe dad's a blacksmith and doesn't drink.

57:30 Drew Get that history clarified.

57:31 Adam No, I'll just say it is.

57:34 Caller Zach?

57:35 Drew Who's sleeping?

57:36 Adam Oh, Zach's still sleeping. Zach's been at home for 91 minutes. He's having a snore. There it is.

57:43 Drew That's nice.

57:45 Caller Zach? Zach?

57:50 Drew Hey, Zach.

57:53 Caller Hey, Zach.

57:55 Adam This is teen idol, Adam Corolla. I command you to do my bidding for me. I'd like you to start by going on a killing spree tomorrow. Oh, he can hear me. Start with something small, like a neighbor's dog, and then we'll work our way up into classmates and eventually politicians. Let's see if I can plant something subliminally, Drew. Oh, he's shaking around.

58:24 Drew He's responding to your commands. Signify to hear him by breathing hard into the telephone.

58:30 Adam Yes, if the answer is yes to my plea of killing for me, breathe out very hard in a very nasally way.

58:38 Drew Let's see how back.

58:41 Adam He didn't do it that time.

58:43 Drew Zach? Oh, that was a yes.

58:47 Adam Zach, I'd like you to soil yourself.

58:51 Drew Usually you ask people to make a giant pot.

58:53 Adam Oh, no, no.

58:54 Drew You collect all the animals in the world for the upcoming Armageddon.

58:57 Adam Here's what I'd like you to do. Zach? Hold on. Let me talk, Zach. You're very comfortable. You're very warm. You're sitting on a toilet. You're on your own personal throne.

59:12 Drew You've just had a battle out in front of a castle.

59:16 Adam You've had something else. You're just eating a huge Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings. You should have never had that third helping of candy jams, which you did anyway. And then you wash it all down with a big cup of coffee. Now you're sitting on the toilet. You're very, very relaxed. It's time to let yourself go. Let yourself experience the pleasures of the movement. Ready? Go.

59:49 Caller That's great radio.

59:50 Adam It just seemed to stop whatever he was doing.

59:53 Drew You know, I was thinking about incontinence for some reason this weekend.

59:59 Adam For some reason.

1:00:01 Drew Yeah, that's right. It's an incontinent weekend. But I was thinking about your dreams as it pertained to your bedwetting history. And it seems like...

1:00:09 Adam What dreams?

1:00:10 Drew Well, Craig, if I'm wrong, the one you've told is usually about the release after some violent aggression. And people...

1:00:18 Adam Oh, urinating?

1:00:19 Drew Yeah. And people have always theorized that the endorheosis had something to do with aggression. And I thought to myself, no, it's what people do after a release of aggression. It's when they're letting go of an aggressive impulse. When you're done killing all the Huns out on the fjord, that's when you pee.

1:00:35 Adam Right. Well, that was only one dream where I wet my girlfriend's bed. My other wet your bed dreams have been, you know, at an airport standing in front of a urinal.

1:00:48 Drew You weren't just pissed off at a stewardess or something?

1:00:49 Adam No, I haven't done... I didn't do any ass kicking, you know. Although I was beating up a guy last night, my dreams.

1:00:56 Drew Did you pee afterwards?

1:00:59 Adam No, I didn't. No.

1:01:00 Drew Who was the guy? Anybody should know?

1:01:02 Adam No, just some guy. It's always the same dream. I never can beat him up properly. It's like wearing a helmet or something. Paul?

1:01:09 Caller Yeah.

1:01:10 Adam You're 15. What's up?

1:01:12 Caller Yeah, actually, I made up the call for the call stream. I just wanted to call up and say, you guys are great. And Adam, you know how you're always talking about the behind-the-scenes?

1:01:20 Adam Yeah.

1:01:21 Caller Well, I was coming, I was talking with a bunch of my buddies and they were like talking about the boon tang, you know? And I was thinking maybe we should get a boon tang.

1:01:33 Adam Boon tang.

1:01:34 Caller Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1:01:35 Adam All right. Hold on a second. Thanks, Paul. The behind-the-scenes is what gay males have in the rectum that can either be broken or they can remain virgins. I think every male has a behind-the-scenes. Does he not, Drew? Yeah. That is the equivalent to the female's hymen. Drew, your behind-the-scenes still intact? Spiritually. Okay. If you don't count Jewish camp in 1971. But here's what he was saying. Oh, I have no idea what he's saying. Forget what he's saying.

1:02:06 Drew Let's bring up the National AIDS Hotline number for finding an alternative test site or any test site?

1:02:14 Caller Any test site.

1:02:15 Drew Well, no.

1:02:16 Caller There are test sites that are included. Hopefully they're... Well, I know the ones in Los Angeles, we've done a really good job in making sure that test sites that people get referred to are youth-sensitive. That is, that they have flexible hours. They're free. They offer blood and orasure. They also offer confidential or anonymous testing as you can give your name or you don't have to give your name or you can make up a name if you want to. And the number is 1-866, that's a free number, 866-EXAM-HIV. 1-866-392-6448. Tell the operator what city you're calling from and they will hook you up with a number to get HIV testing.

1:03:01 Adam Did they give you, I went down to a free clinic and got the test for AIDS.

1:03:07 Caller For HIV.

1:03:08 Adam I mean HIV, I don't know, 8 years ago or something like that. And you had to do the whole course, you know, where the 600 pound black woman put the condom on the cucumber and the whole, you know what I'm talking about?

1:03:22 Caller Yep, there are all those places.

1:03:23 Adam They're still doing that? Do we have to be subjected to that?

1:03:26 Caller Yes. Well, hopefully.

1:03:28 Adam We can't just go down and get tested and get the hell out of there?

1:03:31 Caller Well, I mean, you know, if you go to a place where it's cool, you know, hopefully you can say to them, look, you know, I don't want to do the cucumber and this and that, I know how to do the condom.

1:03:41 Adam It worked though, I didn't get laid for another three years.

1:03:44 Caller You just like always pulled out a condom and a cucumber and then they just ran screaming.

1:03:48 Adam No, I couldn't achieve an erection for a full 18 months after that visit to the clinic.

1:03:52 Drew Sex in the City tonight is the big thing about HIV testing.

1:03:57 Adam You watched it.

1:03:58 Drew I watched lots of TV this weekend.

1:04:00 Caller I love Sex in the City.

1:04:01 Adam Ken?

1:04:02 Caller Yeah.

1:04:02 Adam You're 17. What's up?

1:04:04 Caller All right. Last night I was at this party, you know, and this girl...

1:04:08 Drew I don't believe him.

1:04:08 Adam Yeah, I don't believe him either. Yeah.

1:04:09 Caller Oh, no. Oh, God. Don't do this to me. Please, God. I'm just trying to be quiet because my mom's in the other room.

1:04:16 Adam I have no idea what his question is.

1:04:18 Drew We just heard his first three words.

1:04:20 Adam I didn't believe him.

1:04:21 Caller I heard the party and there's bogus, but I keep going. All right. At this party, you know, this girl, I've had a couple of drinks. She's had a couple of drinks. Now we start doing stuff. No. She got oral sex. You know, I kind of think you start going at it sexually and put on a condom on the whole nine yards, but it keeps like flipping off. So she says, well, I'm on the pill anyway. I take it off.

1:04:50 Adam And then, you know, why didn't she say that at the beginning?

1:04:52 Caller Huh?

1:04:53 Adam Why didn't you just, you know, why didn't she just bring that up at the beginning?

1:04:57 Caller I don't know.

1:04:58 Drew Maybe she liked the idea of safe sex.

1:05:00 Adam All right. I'll go along with that.

1:05:01 Caller Anyway, you know, the condom came off. Then, you know, we went about whatever, you know, had sex, but I didn't finish in her. You know, like, I don't know, I guess I just couldn't. And like, after a while, I just pull out, you know, finish myself off and, you know, go take a shower, that kind of thing.

1:05:23 Adam Yeah. Where did you finish yourself off?

1:05:25 Caller Like the bed, like right next to where we were at.

1:05:29 Adam That's a James Bond type move. Hold on, honey. Well, I'll jack off. What do you want? A red book? Something to read? Crossword puzzle? I'll be jacking off over here.

1:05:40 Caller I made her finish like 10 minutes into it.

1:05:43 Adam I see.

1:05:43 Caller So, you know, it was just like, she was just waiting for me to finish. And I said, well, you know, I'm just going to stop this. It's been like an hour already, so I'm tired. So then I asked her, I said, you know, when was the last time you got tested for diseases? And she said, it was like last month when I got my birth control pills.

1:06:03 How old was she?

1:06:05 Caller Huh?

1:06:05 Drew How old was she?

1:06:06 Caller 18.

1:06:08 Adam Hey, Ken?

1:06:09 Drew Yeah.

1:06:09 Adam Was she trying to help you out when you were like trying to finish yourself?

1:06:14 Caller No.

1:06:15 Adam Oh, good. Let me tell you, it's bad etiquette, ladies. I know you're trying to help, but all that like, oh, you're so hot. Yeah, look at you. Oh, you're big. Let me mess with your nipples. I was like, listen, I appreciate the facts. You think I'm hot, but just quiet down. I got to finish checking off here. I got to focus.

1:06:31 Caller I was talking about how she has to go to work tomorrow.

1:06:33 Adam Oh, okay. But that's worse etiquette.

1:06:36 Caller People are coming in and out of the room. I was just like chilling there.

1:06:39 Adam You were jacking off on people coming in and out of the room?

1:06:42 Drew Yeah.

1:06:42 Caller It was a very weird situation. All right.

1:06:47 Adam I think he used the F word there. So we have to put him on hold.

1:06:52 Drew So high risk. Yeah, risk. I think the question is going to ask is, does the fact that he didn't ejaculate have any impact on his risk for HIV or any other disease for that matter? Absolutely not.

1:07:03 Adam Oh.

1:07:03 Drew It may have a little bit to do with her risk. It may have increased her risk, but no, it doesn't.

1:07:07 Adam No, it decreased her risk, right?

1:07:09 Drew The fact that he didn't decrease her risk, yes, a little bit.

1:07:13 Adam Why?

1:07:14 Drew Because there may be virus in the semen.

1:07:16 Caller Pre-com.

1:07:17 Adam Well, where is most of the virus coming from when a man is infecting a woman?

1:07:25 Drew No one knows for sure, frankly.

1:07:26 Adam They don't?

1:07:26 Drew Probably the semen.

1:07:28 Adam You guys haven't figured that out yet? It's what, 20 years?

1:07:30 Caller They think, though, that a lot comes from the pre-com, what comes out first, which can come out.

1:07:37 Drew But the point is, I think it just comes from the urethra, just exposure to the urethra and the lubricants and things right there.

1:07:43 Adam Right.

1:07:43 Drew The reason, I mean, they just proved about six months ago that oral sex could transmit HIV had not been proven. And in those cases, those were all situations where semen was transmitted.

1:07:53 Adam All right, but in a situation where a guy did not have an orgasm and did not have a leaky dork, as we like to say in the medical community.

1:08:01 Drew That's what I'm saying. It's not just leakiness. It's the exposure of the urethra.

1:08:05 Adam Well, no, we don't know that. You were just saying that.

1:08:07 Drew Right, we don't. That's true. We don't.

1:08:09 Caller Well, I think, though, from his, a couple of things that he said was that he didn't ejaculate. But just because you don't feel it, there's still some pre-cum, so that means that if you're not using a condom...

1:08:21 Adam There doesn't necessarily have to be. But there is for most 18-year-old guys, that's true.

1:08:26 Caller So that's what puts her, the woman in this situation, though, is more at risk than he is, unless he has lesions on his penis or something like that. And a lot of times, if people are having sex where they're not using condoms, they're more, you're more at risk to get other sexually transmitted diseases like gonorrhea than you are to get HIV. I mean, you definitely can. But if you start getting STDs, you're at very high risk also for getting HIV. Why?

1:08:55 Drew Two or more STDs puts you in a high risk category.

1:08:57 Adam Well, it puts you in a high risk category because you're the person who's a banging hose without a condom. It doesn't put you in a high risk category, you idiot.

1:09:07 Drew No, but it also says something about the kind of person, the kind of risk you're taking with the kind of person.

1:09:11 Caller And also just from a biological perspective, you have, with a lot of STDs, you have breaks in the skin. And so now there's like another way for the virus to get into your body.

1:09:22 Adam Well, I'll buy that. But you see, I don't like that, those kind of studies really, because it sort of suggests that it is the disease, it is the herpes, or it is the gonorrhea that is making it higher. And I know what you're saying, but there's a lot of these tests that go down this way, and I think it's almost propaganda. It's saying if you're the kind of person that runs in this crowd, doesn't use a condom, you're going to get this disease, or you have a higher probability of getting the disease. But if you never got a disease, any other disease, you still weren't wearing a condom, you're still running with this crowd, you'd still have just as high a percentage chance of getting it as the person that had the other stuff. That's what I'm saying. Except for Monty talking about the lesions, which is a decent point.

1:10:13 Caller And also, I think another thing that this guy said that was, is that the girl said that she got tested for diseases about a month ago. And see, another good part of getting yourself HIV tested, which you were kind of bagging on, but seriously, is that when you get tested, they explain to you what a test means. So a lot of people say, oh, I'm HIV negative, I just got tested. And they don't really understand that when you get tested, remember we were talking earlier about the window period, and that there are certain tests that can say for sure you're negative, and there are certain tests that say we didn't find the antibody, but you could have the virus in your body, you need to come back and get tested again in six months. And so when you go and you get tested, you need to take some time out and learn about what the test means, so that when some chick or some dude or whatever says to you, oh, I'm negative, you can say to them, well, when were you tested? Oh, I was tested a month ago, I was tested yesterday. And so you can know what that means. And so then it's like, well, you know.

1:11:09 Adam All right. Let me just say, see if Zach still sleeps there. He's been on hold for 103 minutes.

1:11:15 Caller Zach.

1:11:18 Drew He's gone out to do your bidding for you.

1:11:21 Adam He's killed the neighbor's dog?

1:11:22 Caller Yeah.

1:11:22 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Monty Messex is our guest tonight from the Children's Hospital in Los Angeles. We'll give out that 800 number a couple more times for the night of Drew. So all you youngins and a website address so you guys can get yourself tested. We'll be back after this.

1:12:04 Caller 100.7 The Buzz It is Loveline.

1:12:20 Adam I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Everclear is going to be in here in a couple of days, so it'll be good to see our friends again. Monty Messex is our guest tonight.

1:12:31 Caller Hello.

1:12:32 Adam He is from the Children's Hospital in Los Angeles, and he's here to, well, he comes in once a year and help people learn about AIDS and depress people. National AIDS Day is...

1:12:46 Caller World AIDS Day is December 1st.

1:12:48 Adam World AIDS Day.

1:12:49 Caller December 1st.

1:12:49 Adam That's right.

1:12:50 Caller Stuff going on all over the country. Here in Los Angeles, we have, I think, something at the African American Museum over in Exposition Park.

1:13:02 Adam Right. They're having, I think, they're having an exhibit at the Clann Museum which is over in central Orange County. They're moving to Simi Valley. I can't remember but I'll be there cutting the ribbon. What else do they have going on, Monty?

1:13:16 Caller They have in East Los Angeles, the Wall of Los Memorias is doing something, I think, at Lincoln Park.

1:13:22 Adam Right.

1:13:22 Caller I know that other places in the country, they're doing stuff.

1:13:26 Adam Okay. Are white people allowed to participate? Absolutely.

1:13:30 Caller I'll be there.

1:13:31 Adam I'm going to be there too.

1:13:32 Caller I'm going to be at the African American Museum.

1:13:35 Adam What are they doing? Where is that again?

1:13:37 Caller In Exposition Park. It's across from the IMAX Theater and the big airplane they have on the National History Museum. Thank you.

1:13:48 Adam I never go to museums. I try not to be enlightened. That's my point.

1:13:54 Caller Except for if it's BattleBots.

1:13:57 Adam I was telling someone on the phone tonight after I explained to them, I took a two-hour nap today. I said, Geez, didn't you sleep ten hours last night? I said, Listen to me. Soon we'll be dead and then there'll be no more time for napping. So let's do it now.

1:14:11 Caller That's my point.

1:14:12 Adam That's the message I'd like to spread across this land. You are not going to have the opportunity to nap for the next 200 years. Your time on this planet is very limited. You see what I'm saying?

1:14:24 Drew I see what you're saying.

1:14:24 Adam You're going to... I'd hate to be on my desk bed and realize I wasn't in bed earlier when I wasn't on my desk bed. You see what I'm saying?

1:14:34 Caller And napping is safe as far as HIV is concerned.

1:14:37 Adam Let's get the napping in before we die. Tony?

1:14:41 Yeah?

1:14:41 Adam You're 23.

1:14:43 Caller Yes.

1:14:43 Adam What's up?

1:14:44 Caller Nothing much. I have a question for you. My girlfriend, um, this, um, I forgot, buddy, like, her pouty kind of smells.

1:14:57 Adam I see.

1:14:58 Caller Like, when I try your oral, it's, it's, it's, it's bad times? It just, you just can't stand the smell.

1:15:06 Adam I see. And, uh, maybe she has an infection or something.

1:15:10 Drew That's what that's a sign of.

1:15:12 Caller Yeah. Well, but she told me, well, she told me she had sex with our guy before me.

1:15:18 Adam You mean earlier that evening or?

1:15:20 Caller No.

1:15:21 Caller Like a couple years before she met me.

1:15:23 Adam How dare she? That's right.

1:15:25 Caller But, uh, but the one thing, but she told me she used condoms with the guy too.

1:15:31 Drew Well, some of these vaginitis, these vaginal infections are not sexually transmitted. In other words, they just can recur spontaneously.

1:15:38 Adam Right.

1:15:38 Drew So she needs to get that treated. We have a sort of a traditional answer we give to this.

1:15:44 Adam Yeah. Although I don't think anyone uses it. But again, the advice I give on this show is not for the person who called up. It's for the sober people who are listening to the person who called up. Tony?

1:15:56 Caller Yeah?

1:15:56 Adam Here's what you tell her.

1:15:57 Caller What?

1:15:58 Adam And just listen to me because this is one of my greatest ruses. And I wish more people would do this. You tell her that you heard this show, you heard Dr. Drew talking about this with another caller, not yourself, and that he said, if you smell something coming from that area, it could be a sign of infection.

1:16:19 Caller Okay.

1:16:20 Adam And that you're worried about her, and you're worried that she might have an infection. So you would like her to go to the gynecologist and get checked out because you love her so much.

1:16:30 Caller Okay.

1:16:31 Adam All right. All right, what is that? Let's do a little role playing, Tony.

1:16:35 Caller All right.

1:16:36 Adam All right, I'll be, what's your girlfriend's name?

1:16:38 Caller Erica.

1:16:39 Caller Erica.

1:16:40 Adam All right, I'm Erica.

1:16:42 Caller Okay.

1:16:42 Adam Do you want to call me on the phone?

1:16:44 Drew No, face to face.

1:16:45 Adam Face to face?

1:16:46 Caller Let me face to face.

1:16:47 Adam All right, you ready?

1:16:48 Caller All right.

1:16:49 Caller Hi, Tony.

1:16:50 Caller Hi. No, it's... No, actually, like all the times I ask you to do oral, like you ask me to do oral to you.

1:17:01 Caller What? I thought we're going out to dinner.

1:17:06 Caller Yeah, we are. We'll do it afterwards, you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. The stuff he asked me to do to you, I know it's a strange smell down there, and I think you have some sexual transmitted diseases.

1:17:24 Drew Oh, you're awesome, Tony.

1:17:26 Caller How dare you? I'll never blow you again.

1:17:29 Drew James Bond. This is James Bond again.

1:17:31 Caller We've got him back.

1:17:32 Caller Oh, boy.

1:17:33 Caller How should I do it?

1:17:33 Adam Yeah, how should you?

1:17:35 Drew Not like that. Not like that.

1:17:37 Adam Yeah, that was her.

1:17:38 Caller Hold on.

1:17:41 Adam Erica, you're fufu smelly, kind of skanky and I think something could have died or something.

1:17:49 Drew You're going to give me an STD.

1:17:51 Adam And so you got stuff down there and it's like you need like a hosing down or something. Yeah, that was not that awful. Tony, Tony, listen to me.

1:18:02 Caller Yeah?

1:18:03 Adam Here's what you do.

1:18:04 Caller What?

1:18:06 Adam You tell her, first off, don't be nervous. It's suggesting you're guilty, you know? Say...

1:18:15 Drew You're caring, you're concerned.

1:18:16 Adam Yes, you're concerned. Try to be more concerned, okay?

1:18:20 Drew It's not about you.

1:18:21 Adam Say that you're listening to Loveline.

1:18:23 Caller All right.

1:18:24 Adam And you heard Drew say that this may be a sign of infection when someone else called about it. And you're a little bit worried and you're worried that she might have an infection.

1:18:36 Caller All right.

1:18:36 Adam All right, because you care about her and her health. Let's try it real quick. Here we go, Tony. You'll be Tony, okay? I'll be Erica.

1:18:45 Caller All right.

1:18:46 Caller Hi.

1:18:48 Caller Hi. I was listening to Loveline.

1:18:53 Caller Oh, that Adam, he's so funny. It's funny. Drew's a pig. But Adam is funny. He's witty, a genius, a genius.

1:19:05 Caller But I was listening to Loveline and they told me that this could be.

1:19:10 Drew No. Why did you call Loveline?

1:19:12 Caller You called Loveline? Why?

1:19:15 Caller You were listening to Loveline in the car.

1:19:17 Caller You were talking about my smelly vagina on a national radio program? How dare you, sir? Oh, thank you never to call me again.

1:19:24 Caller She's never like that.

1:19:26 Drew She wouldn't use quite that kind of language.

1:19:28 Caller Oh, thank you.

1:19:30 Adam Listen, goofball, stop.

1:19:32 Drew She won't be speaking the Queen's language.

1:19:36 Caller I'll think of something else.

1:19:38 Adam Now, listen, Tony. Tony, listen to me. Hold on a second.

1:19:44 Drew This is why people don't use your rooms.

1:19:45 Caller I was driving in the car, listening to Loveline on my way to the market. Right, right.

1:19:51 Drew And somebody called with this problem. It reminded me.

1:19:54 Caller I was thinking, smelly, smelly.

1:19:57 Caller Yeah.

1:19:58 Caller We have a smelly problem.

1:20:00 Caller Yeah.

1:20:02 Caller Maybe, maybe.

1:20:03 Adam Why do people have so much difficulty processing what I would consider to be a very simple?

1:20:08 Caller Well, he was on hold for what? Like five hours.

1:20:11 Adam A noble idea.

1:20:12 Drew This is an example of a sad state of our education system.

1:20:15 Adam Tony, Tony, Tony. Yeah. One more time, baby. You're going real good, except for you got the part where you called in to Loveline. Remember, you heard it. You were listening to Loveline. Someone else called in about this problem.

1:20:29 Caller I was in the shower with my waterproof radio.

1:20:33 Adam Right. You see what I'm saying? In your car.

1:20:36 Caller All right.

1:20:36 Adam One more time, Tony. You ready?

1:20:38 Caller All right.

1:20:38 Caller Hello.

1:20:39 Caller Hello.

1:20:41 Caller Tony. It's good to see you.

1:20:44 Caller All right.

1:20:45 Caller Well, I was driving home. Well, I was driving up to meet you. Yeah. I was listening to Loveline and I heard them talking about some interesting things.

1:20:56 Caller Well, yeah. Like do tell.

1:21:00 Caller Well, another caller talked about the same problem I have.

1:21:03 Caller Well, what problem is that? Never small painters?

1:21:07 Caller No. I'm sorry. It was some sexual problem.

1:21:11 Caller I see.

1:21:14 Caller And I think it's probably the same problem you have. So I think it would be easier to go to a a gynecologist to check this out. What are you talking about?

1:21:23 Caller What problem?

1:21:28 Caller I don't know. I'm lost. I can't do anything else.

1:21:35 Adam Get drunk and just go for the full front all the time. Forget it. Start drinking. You can't work it out. Just start drinking.

1:21:44 Caller Jesus Christ.

1:21:49 Adam Let me have our polish, really. I've said, see, this is why I say the information is not for them because they have no way of enacting them. I might, you know what? I might as well give a chimp a chemistry set and tell him if he can, you know, whip up some table salt or gunpowder. I mean, I can provide the tools. That's all I can do.

1:22:14 Caller Do you know what I'm saying?

1:22:16 Adam All right. Oh, man.

1:22:19 Drew Sylvely.

1:22:20 Caller Sylvely.

1:22:21 Drew Sylvely.

1:22:22 Adam Sylvely, you're 19.

1:22:23 Caller Yeah.

1:22:25 Caller Me and my boyfriend are both disabled.

1:22:28 Drew Who?

1:22:29 Caller My boyfriend and I. The problem is his mother is his conservator.

1:22:34 Adam You're disabled. He is disabled?

1:22:37 Caller Yeah. His conservator is his mother, and we can't get married until another four years because of insurance reasons, so we want to live together.

1:22:45 Drew What's the nature of your disabilities?

1:22:48 Caller He has frontal lobe damage, and I have things like schizophrenia, mental problems.

1:22:54 Drew What is frontal lobe damage from? Car accident or something?

1:22:57 Caller Car accident. And the problem is she won't let us live together, and according to law conservatorship, chooses that.

1:23:07 Drew Yeah. Why do you think she choosing, making that choice for him?

1:23:11 Caller She told me, to my face, it's because I'm not Filipino Catholic, and she even told me once, called me on the phone to say, don't sleep with my son.

1:23:22 Adam Don't sleep with him? Oh, she might have sex. You don't mind sleeping by her, right?

1:23:26 Caller Yeah.

1:23:28 Adam Who's Filipino? She is?

1:23:30 Caller She is, her son is, and she tells me things like that a lot.

1:23:38 Adam What are you?

1:23:39 Caller I'm white and I'm Jewish, and I'm not really sure what to do.

1:23:46 Adam I see.

1:23:47 Caller I mean, I'm always being nice to her and everything, and she can be my nice most of the time, but everything else, and she'll bring up something bad.

1:23:55 Adam Right. All right, and how old is this guy? You're 19.

1:23:59 Caller He's 28, but we're on the same maturity level because of his brain injury.

1:24:04 Adam Say it again?

1:24:04 Drew Same maturity level because of his brain injury.

1:24:07 Adam Well, listen, most 28-year-old guys have 19-year-old mentality anyway.

1:24:13 Caller Yeah, we're engaged.

1:24:14 Adam Yeah, you're fine.

1:24:15 Drew Well, why don't you just kind of...

1:24:16 Adam Let's say it's interesting.

1:24:18 Caller Now, what?

1:24:21 Adam He's not functional? He can't work?

1:24:23 Caller No, he can't work. Neither of us can work. We're both on the government. I'm trying to get a job right now.

1:24:30 Adam Why is he unable to work? I understand he's had injuries, but can he get a job at McDonald's or something?

1:24:36 Caller It's kind of a tool. And part of his problem is he has no self-control.

1:24:40 Drew Right, no screening, no impulse control.

1:24:42 Caller Yeah.

1:24:43 Drew So they could do very weird stuff all of a sudden.

1:24:45 Adam Can he start a band?

1:24:46 Drew Yeah, he'd be great in that.

1:24:47 Adam Yeah, he'd be great in music. Hey, all right.

1:24:51 Caller This is the...

1:24:52 Adam Listen, you need to talk to her. What's her mom's name? She got one of those wacky Filipino names?

1:24:58 Caller Cleopatra.

1:25:00 Caller Well, good, at least you know her name.

1:25:01 Adam Yeah, I thought you had a wacky Egyptian name.

1:25:04 Caller I've tried talking to her before.

1:25:05 Adam Hold on, her name... Listen, you can't... Hold on, you can't reason with someone named Cleopatra. Is her name really Cleopatra?

1:25:13 Caller Yeah.

1:25:13 Drew You know what I think? I think you just hang in there and manage things one day at a time. Don't look for some grand scheme to resolve this. I think your boyfriend seems to really love you. He's committed. She's in charge, but you both have a plan to wait it out. In the meantime, it seems like there's some unpleasantness here, but on a day in, day out basis, just kind of...

1:25:35 Caller I mean, when we first met, she's my mom, but she even got to the point...

1:25:39 Adam Now, listen...

1:25:42 Drew It'd be interesting to hear her perspective. She may just be wanting to take care of her son and dad.

1:25:46 Adam She may be worried that you guys are gonna burn the house down or something.

1:25:50 Drew Right, right. Or maybe she'll be ending up with two people that she has to take care of the rest of her life.

1:25:55 Adam What a life though. You two both move in together. You're on disability. You can watch TV all day long. You don't have to leave the house.

1:26:03 Drew If he gets a...

1:26:04 Adam What a life!

1:26:05 Drew If he gets a sort of an inkling, he can't contain himself, he has to go now, whatever it is.

1:26:11 Adam Hey, Spontaneous.

1:26:11 Drew Hunger, sex, yeah.

1:26:12 Adam Hey, uh, uh...

1:26:15 Drew Silvally.

1:26:15 Adam Silvally. Here's what you need to do today. Listen, Cleopatra or whatever your name is. I want you to always finish Cleopatra with or whatever your name is. It's always extra insulting with people with weird names. Say, listen, that son of yours, this guy, he's a mess. No other woman's gonna have him. Are you high? This guy's a vegetable. I'm willing to take him in.

1:26:41 Drew I make him happy.

1:26:42 Adam This is not gonna come up again.

1:26:43 Drew I make him happy.

1:26:44 Adam You're waiting for some spokesmodel to come pick him up in a Mercedes? It's not gonna happen. I make him happy. I know how to please him morally. And when you've had frontal lobe damage, that is like five blowjobs.

1:26:59 Caller What do you mean? Do you know that?

1:27:00 Drew It's true. What is? Getting your bane smashed in?

1:27:04 Adam Big deal. Big deal.

1:27:05 Drew There's actually something called a Kluivert Buzi Center where you get extra sexual when you have frontal lobe damage.

1:27:10 Adam Well, listen, you show a guy with frontal lobe damage, you give him one of those little sticks with a cup on the end of the ball and that's a weekend. Imagine what a BJ is. I'm just doing the math. That's all I'm saying. Do you know what I mean?

1:27:25 Caller Yeah.

1:27:26 Adam I'm not trying to disparage these people. I wish I had a little of that. I could really enjoy things again.

1:27:31 Drew You do have a little of that.

1:27:33 Adam I think if I had frontal lobe damage, instead of watching 11 episodes of BattleBots, I could watch 14.

1:27:42 Caller Maybe you could work up to it and it'll cause...

1:27:44 Adam Yeah.

1:27:45 Drew It'll induce it.

1:27:46 Caller It'll induce frontal...

1:27:47 Adam Oh boy.

1:27:49 Caller Maybe the mom wants to stay in control.

1:27:53 Adam This guy could be in real bad shape is another thing too.

1:27:56 Caller All right.

1:27:56 Adam We'll be back after this.

1:28:19 Caller You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio. 100.7 The Buzz.

1:28:36 Caller Hey, this is Loveline.

1:28:38 Adam I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Monty Messex is our guest tonight. Monty is with the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles, and he is an AIDS and HIV expert.

1:28:50 Drew Do you want to talk about the Youth Expressions website also?

1:28:53 Caller Yeah, we could.

1:28:53 Drew Go ahead.

1:28:54 Caller We could. Yeah, Drew and I and some other people at Children's Hospital, we've been working on a website that's around, and that we're developing to help youth build healthy relationships.

1:29:10 Drew Is the Dr. Coop folk going to let us link through to you? Have we talked about that yet?

1:29:13 Caller We haven't talked about that.

1:29:15 Drew We need to make sure that has, because drdrew.com is now a drcoop.com site, and if we could, our original plan was to link with the Youth Expressions, and we still want to do that.

1:29:25 Adam Well, what is that site? People on the Internet are not interested in having healthy relationships.

1:29:31 Caller Some people, we have a lot of young people and with drdrew.com, you know, there are a lot of people that have questions similar, you know, and I think the people that call in to this show, you know, are interested in...

1:29:43 Adam Those people aren't interested in having healthy relationships.

1:29:45 Caller They're interested in, you know, they have, you know, lots of funky problems, but they're interested in trying to have healthy relationships, I think, ultimately.

1:29:54 Drew Without the funk.

1:29:55 Adam All right, well, what...

1:29:56 Caller Or to, you know, get somehow...

1:29:58 Adam What is that? What is that address?

1:30:01 Caller It's youthexpressions.org, and it's still under development.

1:30:05 Adam So it's not out yet.

1:30:06 Caller It's not out yet. Hopefully in January, it'll be up. And I think Drew is going to write one of our first pieces on HIV. And we have youth contributing all sorts of artwork and stories and poetry. And it's really awesome. It's really awesome.

1:30:25 Adam And Drew, what are they paying you for that?

1:30:27 Drew Zero.

1:30:28 Adam Really?

1:30:28 Caller Yeah.

1:30:29 Adam I didn't know you did things for free anymore.

1:30:32 Drew I do. You do. I know you do.

1:30:33 Caller Drew is an official volunteer at Children's Hospital.

1:30:36 Drew I know it's against your principles.

1:30:37 Adam It's going to be in haiku form. It's not going to be a full.

1:30:42 Caller No, Drew is, I think, aren't you a volunteer staff at Children's or something?

1:30:47 Adam I know. That's just, that's for his resume. He won't actually show up there.

1:30:49 Caller No, he does.

1:30:51 Caller Yeah.

1:30:52 Adam You're 22. What's up?

1:30:53 Caller Yeah. Hey, Dr. Drew, I just want to say I'm a big fan. I've been listening to Loveline since Poor Man was on.

1:30:59 Drew Wow.

1:30:59 Caller And you rock.

1:31:00 Drew Since you were nine.

1:31:01 Caller You and Adam, yeah.

1:31:03 Caller Let's see my question. Last night, I had sex with a guy and I didn't use a condom and I just started the pill like two weeks ago and I won't have a chance to go to the clinic and get the morning after pill.

1:31:17 Drew So, all right, this is a great question. So, what pill did you start two weeks ago?

1:31:21 Caller Alesse.

1:31:22 Drew Alesse.

1:31:23 Caller Alesse, yeah.

1:31:26 Drew Oh, boy. And so, they told you probably that it wouldn't be necessarily covered till the second cycle, right?

1:31:32 Caller Or, well, they said to take it probably like for another, when they started, they said after a week, I should be okay, but I'm kind of scared still.

1:31:40 Drew It's just not for sure in that first month. Triphasic pills, a little more certain, but less.

1:31:45 Adam What about her taking a handful of those in lieu of taking a morning after pill?

1:31:50 Drew That's what I'm contemplating here, is whether she should double up maybe tomorrow and keep going.

1:31:54 Caller I kind of already took four today.

1:31:56 Drew All right, you're fine.

1:31:57 Caller Okay, that's fine.

1:31:58 Drew That's fine. You're fine.

1:31:59 Adam Did you throw up?

1:32:00 Caller I haven't. I just took them like ten minutes ago.

1:32:02 Drew Oh, you will throw up.

1:32:04 Adam Oh, well, now she will.

1:32:05 Drew Well, I mean, I'm afraid in a couple hours, don't be surprised if you do anyway. But that means you got the dose and just go ahead and just finish the packet out just the way you don't want to be taking. No, no, no, just just keep going on the packet tomorrow, okay?

1:32:17 Caller Okay, so I don't need to take four tomorrow. I'm good.

1:32:20 Drew I don't think you. Again, this is a very sort of strange application of the morning after pill, but I don't think you would need to.

1:32:27 Adam All right, but wait a minute, Drew, which pills can you take in place of taking the morning after pill?

1:32:32 Drew A less is one of the ones you can actually. You can, but, and overall, low overall.

1:32:37 Caller But you know, taking the pill won't protect you from sexually transmitted disease.

1:32:41 Adam Oh, yes, it will.

1:32:41 Caller It will not protect you from HIV.

1:32:44 Drew It is like the ultimate sexually transmitted disease, pregnancy, will be avoided.

1:32:47 Adam It's an invisible barrier between you and disease, that pill. Always remember that.

1:32:52 Caller Unless you take four of them.

1:32:54 Adam Right.

1:32:55 Caller All right.

1:32:56 Adam Jimmy?

1:32:57 Caller Yeah.

1:32:58 Adam You're 20.

1:33:00 Caller My girlfriend, and I just found out she's pregnant today. And she told me she would rather kill herself than have the baby. And she told me she'd rather kill herself than have a surgical abortion.

1:33:13 Adam Well, that solves your problem.

1:33:15 Caller Yeah.

1:33:16 Drew What's her plan then?

1:33:18 Caller That's what I was calling to find out what I could do. I guess she's open to like the RU-486, the abortion pill.

1:33:27 Drew Okay. She has up to 49 days to get that done.

1:33:31 Caller Right. I've heard that.

1:33:33 Adam Can we get that finally?

1:33:34 Caller Yeah. Is that available?

1:33:35 Adam Is it around?

1:33:36 Drew It's around. You need to talk to doctors certified to deliver it, but it's definitely around now. And I think Planned Parenthood is out doing it.

1:33:43 Adam Yeah. I just passed that one in Vanna is Big Banner now with RU486, a big, big banner out front.

1:33:50 Caller I have an 800 number from the Planned Parenthood.

1:33:52 Adam No.

1:33:53 Drew You do?

1:33:54 Caller Yeah.

1:33:54 Adam Where are you calling from, Jimmy?

1:33:56 Caller From California, like Los Angeles.

1:33:59 Caller I think this is a national one.

1:34:00 Drew You're in LA or Pasadena?

1:34:02 Caller LA.

1:34:03 Caller Do you want the Planned Parenthood?

1:34:05 Caller Oh yeah, I love it.

1:34:06 Caller They have a website plannedparenthood.org or they have an 800 number, 800-230-PLAN.

1:34:15 Drew And what 230-PLAN does is basically refer you to a number in your area. They'll give you the specific LA number. But it sounds like she needs to sit down and have a little counseling about all this.

1:34:26 Caller Yeah, big time.

1:34:27 Adam Yeah, about everything. Not just this, Jimmy. She's a handful, this one.

1:34:32 Drew Yeah.

1:34:33 Adam Yeah. All right. Don't get her pregnant anymore. I won't. She'll make an unfit mother. Do you hear me?

1:34:40 Drew This one. We have a minute left here.

1:34:41 Adam All right. John.

1:34:43 Caller Hey, how's it going?

1:34:44 Adam You're 25. What's up?

1:34:45 Caller Great show, as always.

1:34:47 Adam Thanks.

1:34:47 Caller I had two questions. First one's sort of more academic than personal, and it's for your guests mostly. I remember an AIDS researcher who was convinced that HIV did not cause AIDS and he publicly injected himself with the virus. And I was wondering if you knew what had happened to the guy if he ever got sick or anything.

1:35:06 Caller I don't know, but actually I was just reading an article this morning about in South Africa how a lot of their policy was based on the idea that HIV doesn't cause AIDS and then finally the president said that it does.

1:35:23 Adam All right, so it...

1:35:24 Caller But I don't know.

1:35:27 Adam I know a lot of you've read articles in, I don't know, Loaded Magazine or whatever Gucci Oni writes in and it would say the contrary. We're gonna take ourselves a break. We'll be back after this. Yep, that's it with Loveline. Monty, give that number out, goofball.

1:36:03 Caller 866-EXAM-HIV, that's 866-392-6448 for free, HIV testing in a area near you. And here's some VT shirts.

1:36:14 Adam That's the national number, cool.

1:36:16 Caller Thank you very much. UNAG is the tagline. Thanks for having me on, guys.

1:36:19 Adam Thanks, Monty, good to see you.

1:36:21 Caller Until next year.

1:36:22 Adam I pray that you won't have to come back next year. Not because I don't like you.

1:36:28 Drew You will conquer HIV.

1:36:30 Adam No, I was going to say it's a boring show.

1:36:31 Drew Oh, I see.

1:36:33 Adam What were you saying, Drew?

1:36:34 Drew No, nothing. Nothing.

1:36:35 Adam Oh, okay. So until next time.

1:36:37 Caller Bye-bye. Adam Corolla.

1:36:39 Adam Thanks, Monty, for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:36:42 Caller Good night.

1:36:44 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, November 26, 2000