Episode 1000754887318

4:05 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

4:16 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Do I sound bad?

4:23 Drew Not any more so than usual.

4:24 Adam Shut up. Does everything have to be an opportunity for you to knock me down? You who's dressed like the fifth member of a barbershop quartet. You're dressed like a barber's pole. That's right.

4:38 Drew Never noticed that.

4:38 Adam Listen, what happened to those days when you put that pole out front or the wooden Indian out front of the tobacco store? I miss that stuff. Who decided?

4:47 Drew It would have been another job for me.

4:51 Adam Drew, somebody stole the wooden Indian. We need a replacement pronto. Geez, what do I do? Just act natural. Just go out there and be yourself, brother. Tammy Lynn Michaels is our guest tonight. She's from Popular. This is 9 o'clock on Friday nights on the.

5:40 Tammy Lynn Michaels He's just healthy.

5:41 Adam Ronnie, you've got a big R.

5:44 Drew He gave you a ride somewhere last time you guys were together, right?

5:46 Adam That's right. Ronnie Lester.

5:48 Tammy Lynn Michaels I love that Ron knows more people than God. Wherever I go, hey, you know Ron.

5:53 Adam He's very popular. Let's keep talking about Ron Lester. Okay. Who's Ron Lester? How do I know him?

5:59 Drew Oh, Big Ron.

6:01 Adam Okay, listen. Here's the deal. Whenever a guy weighs over, let's say, 375, you cannot just call him by his Christian name. You have to work Big Ron in or Jumbo Ron or something like that because otherwise everyone will go cold on the trail. I'm trying to picture Ron Lester. Besides, Ron Lester sounds like a guy that goes about 135 pounds and has a constant nasal problem or something. No, Ron Lester.

6:30 Caller You know Ron.

6:31 Adam Yeah. Ron gave us, well, he gave me a ride home.

6:34 Caller Right.

6:34 Adam Drew, where were you? I was drunk. He gave me a ride home from an Oscar party. Tell me like going down on the ladies.

6:45 Get two chicks in the same bed.

6:47 Adam Do them. That's right.

6:49 Oh, my God.

6:50 Adam Yeah. Not only the ladies, me, but the professional ladies. He said he didn't mind getting down there.

6:56 Tammy Lynn Michaels He's a good boy.

6:57 I appreciate you talk about a good boy.

6:59 Tammy Lynn Michaels I like he's a he's a wonderful.

7:01 Adam He's a wonderful lad. But I said, I said, Ron, you going down on a hooker is like it's like getting a rental car and then having a detailed and then bring it back to a lot on a flatbed. There's just as much in it for you. You understand? Paying 85 bucks, getting the tires armor all and then pushing it back to a lot and leaving it there.

7:22 Drew Ron's got some oral issues now.

7:23 Adam No. I was drunk. He probably said not to talk about it.

7:29 Drew I'm sure he appreciates you bringing it up.

7:30 Tammy Lynn Michaels He probably swore something and signed something.

7:32 All right.

7:33 Adam So the popular is very popular. Keep talking about it. I didn't know we're going to have a guest tonight.

7:39 Actually.

7:39 Tammy Lynn Michaels Really?

7:39 Adam I was slightly unprepared. Well, I looked up to see, Ann puts the schedules up.

7:44 Drew Oh my God.

7:45 Tammy Lynn Michaels Tom Arnold.

7:45 Adam Couple of weeks in advance. But Ann was out a couple of days.

7:48 Drew Insane clown process.

7:50 Adam Uh-oh. What day is that? I'm not showing up that day. Next week.

7:54 Drew That's October 25th.

7:55 Adam Yeah. I'm going to be sick that night. Those guys scare me.

7:59 Drew They scare the crap out of us.

8:00 Adam All right. Let's talk about popular. Then we'll hop on the phones. And really, do I sound wrong in this microphone? No, it's your headphones.

8:07 Drew You sound fine.

8:09 Adam You're fine. Does it ever get old? Anderson just went, You always sound bad. How do I communicate that I don't sound right without being made fun of by co-workers or staff?

8:21 Is that possible?

8:22 Adam Kiss my ass.

8:24 Drew But now, so the popular... Yeah, it's becoming sort of a...

8:28 Adam Cult phenomenon.

8:29 Drew Yeah, phenomenon.

8:30 Tammy Lynn Michaels It's very cult. Well, first of all, it's on Fridays at 9. On the dubba dubba dubba dubba dubba dubba dubba dubba dub.

8:39 Adam Not since New Coke has there been such a great marketing plan.

8:42 Tammy Lynn Michaels You should meet the guy in real life, too. He's fuzzy. It's interesting. It's got some characters that are based in reality, and then there's characters that are based in West Hollywood's reality. And I play a girl who's driven by money and glamour and facade. And if we therapeutically break it down, Dr. Drew, she just wants to be loved, and she's very fear-based, but she holds up this facade to keep away from any sort of emotional intimacy and thus facing possible rejection. So, angry? A bitch, basically. Angry. Very angry, very prissy, very girly, was the head cheerleader, but because she was always on her knees, she can't do cheerleading anymore.

9:26 Adam That's a good picture. That brown jacket makes you look a little heavy, though.

9:30 Tammy Lynn Michaels Oh, I'm heavy. Compared to some LA actors you've had in here, babe. Oh, yeah.

9:35 Adam Oh, that's not you. No, I'm sorry. I was confused.

9:38 Caller I thought I was you in the lower right.

9:39 Tammy Lynn Michaels Oh, you mistook me for Bryce Johnson. I think that's the best compliment I've ever had.

9:43 Adam I was just kidding, you see.

9:45 Tammy Lynn Michaels I'd like to come back as him.

9:47 Adam I'd like to come back as one of his buddies. All right. Kick that thing and let's take some calls. What'd he say there, Drew? Is that going to work? Oh, is it really screwed up? Usually you just have to jiggle something. The screen went out. All right. Let me hold on a second. This would be an opportune time to talk about The Man Show. Talk about cult popularity. Why? Because it's on tonight. It's on right now. On Comedy Central, everybody. Ten o'clock. This is the best episode we've ever done tonight. Please. Oh, yes.

10:17 Tammy Lynn Michaels What's The Man Show?

10:18 Caller Oh, yes.

10:20 Adam How dare you pretend you don't know about The Man Show. OK, we got it fixed. The Man Show is the best show on television.

10:29 Best show on television.

10:30 Adam That's Jesse Ventura, by the way. Jenny. Oh, wait a second. Let's work this out. Jenny.

10:37 Yeah.

10:37 Adam You're 21.

10:38 Caller Yes, I am.

10:39 Adam What's up?

10:39 Caller Hey, I just saw The Man Show the other night and I was cracking up laughing. It was with Rosie O'Donnell in the tunnel.

10:46 Adam Oh, she fell down the well.

10:48 Caller Yeah, that was funny. But my question is. Thank you. Okay. Okay, I consider myself gay. But the thing about me is that I enjoy having threesomes.

11:01 Drew With males?

11:02 Caller With, yeah, another woman and a male.

11:04 Drew Okay.

11:05 Caller And what I want to know is if that is normal. I mean, because I consider myself gay. But I'm still kind of with a man and being with.

11:17 Drew And it sounds a little conflicted, doesn't it?

11:18 Adam What do you do with the guy during these threesomes?

11:23 Caller Well, I pretty much just, you know, am a third person where I participate. But, you know, I'm pretty much.

11:34 Drew Aha!

11:35 Caller The third person is a thing.

11:37 Drew All right.

11:37 Adam What do you do with the guy? What do I do with the guy? That's it. I'm putting a little. I've got to swear I got about this much tonight.

11:45 Drew Come on. Come on. Hang on.

11:47 Adam Spend ten minutes on one question. What do you do with the guy?

11:51 Caller I give oral.

11:52 Adam OK.

11:54 Drew That's it.

11:55 Caller And, you know, we do it in a three way thing.

11:58 Drew We don't know what that means.

11:58 Adam You do the oral in a three way thing?

12:00 Caller Yeah. Oh, like a group activity.

12:02 Adam You make like a circle?

12:04 Caller Yeah. Pretty much.

12:05 Adam The devil's triangle?

12:07 Caller Like a triangle thing.

12:08 Adam Yeah. My compass would be spinning if I got in there. All right. So you give the oral on the guy. The girl gives the oral on you, and the guy gives the oral on the phone with his buddies. Hey, guess where I am? That's what I'd be doing.

12:23 Tammy Lynn Michaels He gets on the phone and calls Ron Lester.

12:25 Adam Ron.

12:27 Two chicks in the same bed.

12:31 Caller I can't believe I got on this quick.

12:33 Adam All right.

12:33 Caller But what I want is always, I mean, isn't, isn't, I mean.

12:37 Adam Now who cares? Listen, you're screwed up, so all bets are off. You know what I'm saying? You can go, you can go in any direction sexually.

12:44 Caller Well, I might as well just be happy. Is that what you're saying?

12:47 Adam Well, I mean, don't, don't, don't try to hold yourself. It's like, but you know what I mean is, is you're trying to hold your sexuality up to some template that only exists for normal people, and you're pretty whacked out, right? So what do you want?

13:02 Drew Of course, you can't confuse, you sound conflicted.

13:05 Adam Yeah.

13:06 Drew That's okay.

13:06 Adam What else is up with you?

13:10 Caller Um, that's pretty much-

13:12 Adam You all right? You're working okay?

13:14 Caller I'm doing good, living a heavy life. I want to know if it's-

13:17 Adam You all right?

13:18 Tammy Lynn Michaels Well, it's not like you're 85 and doing this in the nursing home. So I think at the age of 21, it's okay to sort of go out and have a little bit of fun as long as it's safe.

13:25 Adam Yeah.

13:26 Tammy Lynn Michaels I think that's fair enough.

13:27 Adam Yeah. Get your kicks.

13:28 Caller Okay. What if I meet somebody and, you know, how do I bring this up to some people that, you know, this is, you know, what I like without-

13:35 Drew You mean another female?

13:37 Caller Yeah.

13:38 Adam So you say you had a steady lesbian relationship and you wanted to bring a guy into the bedroom. Is that what you're saying?

13:49 Caller Well, I'm not necessarily-

13:50 Drew What are you saying?

13:51 Caller Something like that.

13:51 Drew What are you saying? Something like that. That isn't going to fly. If that's what you need in a intimate relationship, then there's a problem because that is not going to, it's not going to allow it to be-

14:00 Tammy Lynn Michaels Well, it's not intimate.

14:00 Drew It's not intimate. And the relationship won't sustain through that.

14:03 Adam It's 21, no.

14:04 Tammy Lynn Michaels Get some batteries and the right size vibrator.

14:07 Adam That's right.

14:09 Tammy Lynn Michaels Does that mean it was just cut out?

14:11 Drew No.

14:12 Adam No. Okay.

14:12 Drew That's the vibrator. That's the sound of the vibrator.

14:13 Tammy Lynn Michaels I thought we were doing that little-

14:16 Drew The bleep.

14:16 Tammy Lynn Michaels Yeah.

14:17 Adam Jeremy?

14:18 Yes.

14:18 Adam You're 17. What's up?

14:20 Caller Well, two years ago, I had sex with this one chick. She was my friend at the time, you know what I'm saying? And she was the one that was taking off the clothes and everything like that. I was like, all right, cool. You know what I'm saying? And then we had sex and afterwards we went out, you know, had a good time. The next day she told her mom that I raped her. I mean, it was a really drawn out case. I mean, there was no evidence, you know what I'm saying?

14:46 Drew How old were you?

14:47 Caller I was 15.

14:48 Drew Wow. How old was she?

14:49 Caller She was the same age.

14:50 Adam Four and a half. I see. She was 15.

14:53 Caller Right.

14:54 Adam And why do you think she cried right? Because her mom found out that you slept with her or somebody slept with her and she didn't want her mom to find out that she willingly went along with it?

15:04 Caller Well, I think it was because she was kind of tore up down there. Oh. You know what I'm saying?

15:10 Drew By what?

15:11 Caller Huh?

15:12 Drew How did she get torn up?

15:14 Caller I don't know. I mean, maybe, I don't know.

15:17 Drew Before you got there?

15:19 Adam We know what you're saying. She's torn up down there. Sure.

15:22 Caller And I mean, she was kind of hurting down there.

15:25 Adam Right.

15:25 Caller So Monday she goes to school and she went to the nurse and the nurse called the police and there was a rape kit done off and then, you know, that type of deal.

15:33 Adam Ah, yeah. Listen, Drew, if you had a nickel for every time someone pulled a rape kit out one of your bitches, I mean, you'd be a rich man, right?

15:40 Drew Isn't that interesting?

15:41 Caller You see, the thing is now I'm dating this chick and I told her like flat out about it. Sure.

15:46 Adam Could be up front about rape.

15:48 Caller Right. And she's like, well, I wanted you to do that because at first I was kind of afraid because she might do something like that. Now that I know that she feels more comfortable about it, you know what I'm saying?

15:58 Adam Hold on a second. Let us, uh, React? Let's adjourn to our office and then have a quick discussion about the defendant. You know, it's funny, these guys, they start off real innocent. Hey, we went out and she was kind of banging for sex, so I gave in to her and now she cried rape. And you're like, well, yeah, it's kind of a bummer. Then it was like, yeah, she's all torn up down there. And then it's like, so now I got this new chick, you know, and she was telling her about it. And it's like, I'm sure this guy's attorney probably told him the same thing. Stop talking so much because it's like, here, here's a shovel. Go ahead. Dig your way to China. Each syllable that comes out of his mouth, he goes from this poor guy was set up to let's move to Canada. This guy's a serial rapist. Yeah, it's kind of getting deeper and deeper. Oh, yeah.

16:42 Caller Okay.

16:43 Adam Hey, Jeremy.

16:44 Caller Yeah.

16:44 Caller All right.

16:45 Adam So now you got a new girl.

16:46 Caller Right.

16:46 Drew Who was convinced you were going to rape her.

16:48 Caller Right. No, no, no, no. No. She's totally cool with me, you know what I'm saying? Right.

16:53 Drew Now that she knows you have thought about rape.

16:55 Caller She was kind of afraid at first.

16:56 Drew That you might rape her. Yeah.

16:58 Adam Why?

16:58 Caller Why?

16:59 Drew Didn't I just say she was afraid you were going to rape her?

17:00 Adam All right.

17:01 Drew Okay.

17:02 Adam Everyone's an idiot because she'd heard that you had this problem.

17:06 Caller She was, she's just, she's like the girl pretty type. You know what I'm saying?

17:10 Adam Oh yeah. Well, listen, good looking girls know they're going to get raped at one point or another. And that's, they, you know, they go out, they can walk around their head on a swivel, like a good middle linebacker dropping back into his hook zone during a pass play. You got to keep your eyes moving. All right. So she was scared you're going to rape her and, you know, rightfully so. And it turns out, even though you had a rape conviction, ironically enough, you weren't...

17:32 Caller Convicted.

17:32 Adam Oh, you didn't get convicted.

17:33 Caller No. I mean, it was dropped in everything.

17:35 Adam It was dropped.

17:36 Drew All right.

17:36 Adam So now you're not going to rape this one. But so now where are we?

17:39 Caller Well, this weekend, I got this party coming up and she might want to do something. I'm afraid that, you know what I'm saying?

17:46 Drew Good. Stay that way.

17:47 Adam Wait a minute. You're afraid that what?

17:49 Caller I'm afraid that if I do something, she might do the same thing. She might try rape.

17:53 Adam Try rape again?

17:54 Tammy Lynn Michaels Well, how old are you this time? And how old is she this time?

17:56 Caller I'm 17 and she's 16.

17:58 Adam Okay. Well, listen. First off, don't tear her up down there.

18:02 Caller Right. She's a virgin.

18:04 Adam If you can avoid that.

18:05 Caller Oh, whoa.

18:06 Adam She's a virgin. Yeah. Okay. Ah, well, I see. I see. All right. Well, that eliminates that potential. So go at her.

18:15 Drew Let's see. Guys, thinking is all screwed up, right?

18:18 Adam Yeah. Everyone who calls this show is somewhere between retard and super tars, basically, is how it goes. You know, they make points that don't have a point. You know, I go, well, don't tear her up down there. Oh, yeah. She's a virgin. Oh, okay. Oh, all right. Oh, sorry. My mistake.

18:38 Tammy Lynn Michaels It's interesting that he's getting ready to, supposedly getting ready to make love to his new girlfriend and he's got this whole rape thing on his mind.

18:44 Drew Yeah, but she is not the creep. She is not interested in having sex with him.

18:49 Adam Jeremy, listen, just be careful, buddy.

18:51 Drew She is not interested in having sex. If you end up having sex, evaluate that situation very carefully. Because she's a virgin.

18:55 Adam Take it slow, wear a condom.

18:57 Drew You don't know her yet. It's going to take some time.

18:59 Adam You do what I do. You get them to sign a release. Oh, yes.

19:05 Drew They had a time card.

19:06 Adam Yeah, but release and a time card. You punch in.

19:08 Tammy Lynn Michaels And permission slip from your parents.

19:12 Adam That's right. I need a note and I need one of those. Yeah, the same thing you use when you're filming on the street and you talk to somebody. You're going to sign a release form. Same standard stuff in the industry. Sarah?

19:28 Caller Yes.

19:28 Adam You're 21?

19:30 Caller Yeah.

19:30 Adam What's up?

19:32 Caller I was just wondering if, when my boyfriend was younger, he used to wrestle around with his brothers a lot and he said he got hit in the scrotum a lot. Will that prevent him from having kids?

19:43 Adam No.

19:43 Drew Not likely.

19:46 Adam How old is he?

19:47 Caller 22.

19:48 Adam All right.

19:48 Drew What put you down that bizarre path?

19:50 Caller Because we've been together for three years and I had a child when I was 17 not from him.

19:55 Drew Yeah.

19:56 Caller And we've never used any kind of protection.

19:58 Drew Well, go ahead and start.

19:59 Adam Genius.

20:00 Drew I'm very lucky. Yeah.

20:01 Adam You idiot. Why don't you use protection?

20:05 Caller Because we've never gotten pregnant.

20:06 Drew Well, you're going to.

20:07 Adam Man, are you dumb?

20:08 Tammy Lynn Michaels Are you going to wait until you get pregnant to start using protection? That's a little backwards. We want a kid.

20:12 Caller He's already graduated from college. We've been together for three years. We want one.

20:16 Drew Why did you get married first?

20:17 Caller Because we don't want to get married.

20:19 Why not? Because that's just legal paperwork.

20:21 Caller Not everybody has to get married to have a kid.

20:24 Tammy Lynn Michaels Well, no, but if you're in the hospital and you're dying, it gives him some rights.

20:28 Drew And why not?

20:29 Caller He has his name to the birth certificate.

20:30 He has the rights.

20:31 Drew No, not to you. Why don't you ask him to... It's a way of sort of formalizing his commitment to you and your commitment to him.

20:39 Adam Oh, who cares? Like, don't get married. But what about the first kid? Where's the first dad?

20:44 Caller Um, I've just never had anything to do with him.

20:48 Drew You want to do that again?

20:50 Caller No.

20:50 Drew That's the road you're heading down.

20:51 Adam No, it's not.

20:52 Caller She's fine.

20:53 Adam It's been three years. Where's this first kid? Have you screwed this kid up yet?

20:57 Caller No, he's the most...

20:58 Adam Oh, he... Oh, I hate that. Oh, it's a girl?

21:01 Caller Yeah.

21:01 Adam Oh, good.

21:02 Caller My daughter considers...

21:04 Adam He missed her dad.

21:05 Caller Yeah, and he's wonderful with her. I couldn't ask for a better dad.

21:08 Drew Well, on her behalf, then, why not form a family?

21:11 Caller Oh.

21:11 Drew A legal unit that is the family, that requires him to protect your children.

21:14 Adam What college did this guy graduate from?

21:16 Drew No college.

21:17 Caller The University of New Mexico.

21:18 Adam No, that's not a real college. What is that? What do they do? They fire ceramics out in ditches filled with leaves and twigs or something, right? They build like adobe huts and stuff. I mean, what do they do in the University of New Mexico? They don't do anything. What's the name of that University of New Mexico? What's the name of the team?

21:39 Drew The Mascot?

21:41 Adam The Lobos. Wolves. Do you hear me? Listen to that. He's a wolf, this guy. All right, sir. You're fine. I hope, listen, just give it, you're so young. Just give it a couple more years. Then you have a kid, all right? Let him get his career going. Let him make some money. I mean, hasn't money been tight with him going to college and everything?

22:00 Caller Kinda. But now that he's finished, we were thinking he's done with school and everything will be going better now.

22:06 Adam Well, what's he, well, why don't we wait till it goes better?

22:09 Drew Who supports you guys?

22:11 Caller Excuse me?

22:12 Drew Who pays for his schooling?

22:14 He does.

22:16 Drew And he pays for your daughter and your housing?

22:18 We both work.

22:19 Adam All right. That's great, mother.

22:20 Drew Okay.

22:21 Adam Who watches the kid while you work?

22:23 Caller I have a babysitter. We work, like I'll work and he'll be at home or at class and have a babysitter while he's in class and then I'm at home while he's at work.

22:32 Adam Okay. All right, sir. Just take it slow. Make some money. Here. Okay. Here's what I want to say to everybody. You can get by. Everyone can get by. People have that ability. I mean, your plane can go down in the mountains and you can survive the winter. Most likely. I saw that movie. You can survive, but why? Why do it that way? Why not establish yourself? Why not make some money? If you got three kids, why not have yourself a nice big mini van so they don't have to ride in the bed of the truck? You know, why not have an apartment or a house that has three or four bedrooms so everyone gets their own bedroom and the kids don't have to sleep on top of each other? Why not? Why not? Why not? Yeah, you can make it, but why? Why pin yourself up against the wall that way? Make a few bucks, get yourself established, get a house, get some dental care and some medical care, get everything set up and then have a kid.

23:29 Drew As you know, the car parking tickets and the dental care and that kind of stuff is what puts you over the edge if you're not prepared.

23:35 Adam Yeah, why make it such a struggle?

23:37 Drew But what is this thing about marriage? It's the man's instrument?

23:41 Adam I didn't heard that attitude before about it. When you say the man, you mean the man, not males.

23:45 Drew Yeah.

23:45 Adam Right. Here's my take on this. She'd probably deny it. I bet he doesn't really want to get married.

23:50 Drew That's the point.

23:51 Adam And so she's buying into it and pretending like she doesn't want it either.

23:55 Drew Absolutely.

23:56 Adam Because she's saving some face and some pride.

23:58 Drew Yes. He's going to be on to the next thing. And that's that.

24:00 Adam And her thing is...

24:01 Tammy Lynn Michaels Well, yeah. Once she gets pregnant, he'll be on.

24:03 Adam Her thing is, I got to get a kid with this dude to keep... To keep him. Yeah. Because I can't lock him with the wedding. I'm going to lock him with this bird.

24:10 Drew Well, because the wedding is just a piece of paper. That's the man's paper. That's the man's instrument.

24:14 Adam And listen, there ain't a 21-year-old non-lesbian chick alive who is with a guy who is the father of her child, essentially, her three-year-old, who wants to have a child with this man who doesn't want to get married to him. She's a sell-nus. She's a sell-nus at Bill & Goode's. David?

24:32 Yeah?

24:33 Adam Year 15?

24:34 Yeah.

24:35 Adam Yeah, you know, the man's show is on right now.

24:37 It is?

24:38 Adam Comedy Central, everybody.

24:41 Drew David?

24:42 Adam All right. I don't like his attitude.

24:43 I got it.

24:46 Adam That's funny. Hey, you know, the man's show is on. It is? Yeah, Comedy Central. Is he stoned? Is that his question? Hold on a second. David, are you really stoned?

24:58 No.

24:59 Adam No?

24:59 All right.

24:59 Adam Well, now you got to pay. I'm putting you on hold because that would have been the only acceptable excuse. You're being really bad. All right. Turn that show on. I want to go watch it. And Anderson, is it on? Is it commercial? No? All right. We'll take a little break. We'll be back. Tonight from Popular, Friday night, nine o'clock, dubba dubba dubbi bee, everybody.

25:36 Drew I don't know something about San Francisco.

25:37 Adam You did?

25:37 Drew I was just telling about the conference. I had a great time with my wife. I spent the day's time with her, finally alone. Really? Great.

25:44 Adam She was conscious during that period.

25:46 Drew We had a great time.

25:47 Adam We had a good time.

25:47 Drew We had a great time.

25:49 Adam Interesting. Interesting. San Francisco is a beautiful town. I love that San Francisco.

25:54 Caller The drive over that bridge.

25:55 Drew It is beautiful. I had a different sort of-

25:57 Adam What's that big bridge called?

25:58 Drew Which one?

25:59 The Bay or the bigger one?

26:00 Adam The bigger one.

26:02 Drew The red one.

26:02 It's called the red bridge.

26:05 Drew That town is high on itself.

26:09 Adam Yes.

26:09 Drew You notice that? A lot of very self-preoccupied.

26:12 Adam There's some turd floating around there.

26:14 Drew the.com thing. I really changed the attitude there.

26:17 Adam Yeah.

26:18 Drew People are very nice. They're very nice. They're very smart.

26:19 Adam You know, people traditionally complain about old money like, you know, Thirst in Hell the Third type of money. But I could make an argument against new money. I'm talking about rap stars, athletes and dot comers. Young people with a big fat wallet, little testosterone sprinkled into that piggy bank. That's a bad scene. That's worse. You know what I mean? That means bad jewelry, bad cars, bad clothing, and a big mouth. You know, people do. They make fun of like the old white rich guy, but you know, whose father was rich and whose father's father was rich and whose father came over to this country rich. But you know what? Those guys know how to act. They just shut up. They may say things about you when you're not around, but they're not, they don't have like a $70,000 convertible with the stereo all the way up at 430 in the morning.

27:11 Tammy Lynn Michaels And solid gold tires.

27:12 Adam Yeah, and they're wearing like a gold LeMay Parka. They're not assholes, another word. They're their own kind of asshole, but not the kind that's going to affect your life. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, Frisco does have a little sort of new money to it over there. And you know what? I'll tell you the thing about San Francisco. Everyone who lives in San Francisco figures they're smarter than you are. Yes, that's what it is.

27:40 Drew They're impressed with themselves. And you know what? Some of them are.

27:43 Adam Well yeah, they are.

27:44 Drew They have a lot of that going on there.

27:45 Adam But if you're from LA., you're an a-hole.

27:47 Drew Yeah, that's true. That's a fact. I'll put that down there.

27:50 Adam They're living up there and they're geniuses and they're smarter than you are. And by the way, even if you, on some sort of outside chance, you happen to make more money than they do, it's only because they're keeping it real and they're artists. Yes, there is that attitude. Marcus, you're 19, what's up?

28:10 Caller Yeah, I was wondering what a wet dream is.

28:13 Adam Well, you haven't.

28:14 Drew Ladies, man.

28:16 Adam You're 19?

28:17 Caller Right.

28:17 Adam You haven't got to the bottom of that one yet?

28:19 Caller No, because they explained to me in 13 when I was like sixth grade, but I didn't understand it.

28:25 Drew Do you masturbate?

28:27 Caller Yeah.

28:27 Adam Okay. Pretend you're masturbating while you're asleep.

28:30 Caller You got to masturbate while you're asleep.

28:32 Drew No, no. Some people do do that, but that's not what happens. It's just your brain triggers a spinal reflex and you emit things.

28:38 Adam No, it's God giving you a hand job.

28:41 Drew That's the other way of looking at it.

28:42 Adam It's God giving you a reach around.

28:44 Drew Frontal release.

28:45 Tammy Lynn Michaels Everybody up for some church after this? All right.

28:47 Adam No, you fall asleep, you dream of sex and you have an orgasm. Is orgasm too?

28:56 Drew What?

28:56 Adam Too advanced a word for Marcus?

28:57 Drew No, no. That's right.

28:58 Adam You make a pfft on your sheet and that's what happens. Oh, for Christ sake, he's 19. That's what this guy have. Hold on a second. Marcus, I don't believe you.

29:10 Caller I dream of sex a lot, you know what I'm saying, but.

29:12 Adam Don't you have friends?

29:13 Caller Yeah.

29:14 Adam Don't they tell you or are you scared to ask?

29:16 No.

29:17 Adam They won't tell you.

29:18 Tammy Lynn Michaels Well, a guy at the age of 17 or 18 isn't going to turn to his other guy friends and be like, I don't know what the hell this is.

29:24 Adam Well, maybe you're right. Okay, well.

29:26 Tammy Lynn Michaels He's going to keep some macho-ism to himself.

29:28 Caller Well, hold on a second.

29:29 Adam Let me just... First off, how dare you and certainly how dare you bring up my integrity.

29:37 Drew His friends, they talk about masturbation since they were 12. No, no. When Adam came clean with the fact that he hadn't masturbated by the time he was 15.

29:43 Adam 16.

29:44 Drew They shoved him in the bathroom with an instrument and said, go.

29:47 Adam It was a concert cello. Really? Mark, hold on a second. I'll get to the story in a second. Marcus? Right. You know how you can wet the bed in the middle of the night if you have a dream? There you go. Now replace urine with sperm and replace the dream where you're for bridge and banging a chick on a bridge and there you have it.

30:10 Caller All right.

30:12 Adam I think I illustrated that well for him.

30:14 Drew The instrument was actually an electric toothbrush, I remember.

30:17 Caller Ouch.

30:18 Drew No, no, no.

30:19 Caller They used the bristles or no bristles? They used the bristles.

30:20 Adam All right.

30:21 Drew The non-work hand.

30:21 Adam Yeah. But they should be some of the business end. I took all the enamel off my Johnson.

30:29 Tammy Lynn Michaels No cavities there.

30:30 Adam Oh, forget about the brush. It was a floss and it damn near cut the circulation off of it.

30:34 Drew It needs to be some sort of, we need to emboss that or find that. Yes, you have to find that.

30:42 Adam That toothbrush?

30:43 Drew Yes.

30:44 Adam I think it's over Chris's mom's place. We should move back to Sacramento.

30:47 Drew We gotta find that.

30:48 Adam No, basically, basically, I was a late bloomer with the masturbation and my friends found out that I wasn't masturbating and they were outraged and told me this was going to change.

31:00 Tammy Lynn Michaels Now, did it never cross your mind or?

31:03 Adam To masturbate?

31:04 Tammy Lynn Michaels Yeah, or that maybe touching your privates would feel good.

31:09 Adam But you know, it's a strange thing and Drew, you jump in and help me out here. But everyone sure seems to have their own sort of clock when it comes to that. And some go a little early and some go a little late. But I don't know if you can go back and sort of dissect it and question it. It just kind of is.

31:31 Tammy Lynn Michaels Some guys like it just never crossed your mind.

31:33 Adam So well, it's weird in that, you know, my family wasn't religious. And they were. Well, actually, is paganism a religion? And what about Santeria?

31:43 Drew That's is it a religion?

31:45 Adam Well, my so my father was pagan. My you know, my mom was in the Santeria. And so no, she believed you.

31:52 Drew All right. She's looking for confirmation over here. Really? Nice.

31:55 Tammy Lynn Michaels The point is, what have I got myself into?

31:57 Adam There wasn't any guilt trips or anything. Right.

31:59 Tammy Lynn Michaels So it's not like you're a race Catholic.

32:01 Adam No, I was just I was left alone, basically.

32:04 Drew When you were you were pissed and you were busy surviving and trying to find food.

32:08 Adam Yeah, I was.

32:09 Drew Oh, well, jeez.

32:10 Tammy Lynn Michaels I'll mention that part.

32:11 Adam There's other things. No, no, I wasn't going through downstairs, but but other people's pantries. Yeah, I ate over to other people's houses.

32:18 Drew You had no privacy in your house.

32:20 Adam I had time to actually. Well, the very first time I masturbate wasn't my friend's house. That's a good point. It's very good point. OK, but I think that all guys have a sort of schedule left alone. I mean, without, you know, someone smacking their nuts with a Bible and, you know, holding a crotch, you know, having an exorcism.

32:39 Drew But in a way, some guys, to some extent, the exact opposite is happening to our young males, that they're being bombarded with all this material on the web and stuff.

32:45 Adam Right.

32:46 Drew Things are happening earlier and quicker.

32:47 Adam But would you agree that if you took, you know, 20 guys and you sort of left them alone.

32:53 Drew It would happen at a different time.

32:54 Adam It would happen at different times, but it would be somewhere between 13 and 16. 16 would be on the late side. 13 would probably be on the earlier side.

33:02 Drew I think you're going to see 11 to 16.

33:03 Adam Drew got, Drew, Drew got going at what, 10, 10 and a half?

33:07 Tammy Lynn Michaels He came out doing it.

33:08 Adam Drew got it early. Drew did something early because every time I say 13, he rolls his eyes and wants to say something about it, but he never does. So I, but in my, in my experience with my buddies, I would say most of them got going about 14, 14 and a half, something like that, maybe 13 and a half. I think there's something like that. So anyway, 13 and 16, somewhere in there. I just, I got a late start, but don't worry.

33:34 Tammy Lynn Michaels You've made up for it.

33:36 Adam More than, you understand? Way more. David.

33:40 Drew But you continually trying to catch up like every day.

33:43 Caller That's right.

33:44 Adam I didn't, I didn't have myself yesterday by the way.

33:46 Drew Are you all right?

33:47 Adam I'm okay now.

33:48 Drew Yeah. Even the second time you did.

33:49 Adam Thanks for calling Drew. You should have known. David.

33:55 Yeah.

33:56 Adam You're 15.

33:57 Caller Yeah.

33:57 Adam What's up?

33:58 Caller Yeah. I kind of have a problem. My girlfriend is kind of pregnant. She's 14. And I just found out about it today.

34:10 Drew How long, how far into her pregnancy is she?

34:14 Caller I'm guessing about five months. Four or five?

34:17 Drew Five months?

34:18 Caller Yeah.

34:18 Adam I think David's bogus. I don't believe it.

34:21 Drew I almost don't believe it. But how did you not know about it?

34:24 Caller Well, I kind of noticed she was kind of getting chubbier, but it's like she doesn't tell me when like her period comes or anything like that. And I just noticed that her stomach had been hurting a lot lately and I asked her, you know what's wrong? And she told me she hadn't had her period in a while.

34:39 Drew Her stomach is hurting? What does that mean?

34:42 Caller Like inside, she was having like stomach pain. And that's what she basically told me. She was having like kind of stomach pain. And it was kind of popping out.

34:53 Adam Her stomach was popping out?

34:54 Caller Yeah.

34:54 Drew Well, it's too early in the pregnancy for that. And, you know, pain isn't usually part of pregnancy. So at that stage, it's too, what, five months too early for the popping out? You often don't see anything. And the only pain you have are contractions. And then it's an accurate thing later.

35:09 Caller It's not like that that that much because she used to be like really thin before. But now she's like a little bit thicker. But it's just like in that one section, the rest of her like it's flat and then there's like a lump.

35:22 Adam Can you turn the offspring down back there?

35:25 Caller Yeah.

35:25 Adam Thank you.

35:26 Caller Okay.

35:27 Adam Who is that back there?

35:28 Caller That was Metallica.

35:29 Adam Okay. Turn that Metallica down. Oh, Jesus, you're making a hell of a day. You're just sitting home listening to Metallica. You probably got to perform some sort of satanic ritual on that kid.

35:39 Drew What's your question actually?

35:41 Caller Yeah. Yeah. Well, she's way too young. Well, we were too young to like have a baby and we want to go like, what can we do to like go through and then I just give it up for adoption.

35:54 Tammy Lynn Michaels Is it five months too late for an abortion?

35:56 Adam Yeah. Not when I'm in power.

35:58 Drew It depends.

35:59 Adam I'm going to have to get it. I'm going to legalize ten month abortions. The kid can be up to a month old and you can still put it down. David, thanks for laughing by the way. It's nice.

36:09 Tammy Lynn Michaels It's disturbing.

36:12 Adam I have the one year rule. I'll call it from time of inception until one year from that point.

36:17 Drew That's when life begins?

36:19 Adam Life begins when you learn how to program the VCR.

36:22 Tammy Lynn Michaels Life begins when mom gives birth to you at the prom.

36:26 Adam That's right. It ends in the dumpster of the women's room at the Ramada Inn.

36:29 Drew You need to, David, go talk to somebody who can help you with these sorts of issues. Can I give you a number?

36:33 Caller Yeah, kind of doing the one.

36:35 Adam Yeah. You can see about giving the child up for adoption. That would be the best way.

36:43 Caller The thing is that we don't want her mom to find out. That's right.

36:51 Drew 1-800-230-PLAN or 1-800-942-1054.

36:57 Adam Did you write that down, David?

36:58 Caller Yeah, I got it.

36:59 Adam Are you sure?

37:00 Drew He's putting it in his computer or something.

37:01 Caller Yeah, I'm typing it.

37:02 Adam Really?

37:02 Drew Yeah, I can hear him talking.

37:03 Adam It's already way ahead of me. I can't type that fast. That'd be 45 minutes for me. I'd be looking at you. I swear to Christ, there's no three on this. No, there's no three. I swear. Come over and look. I'll let you 100. I type. That's how I type. I type and I go, okay, where's the G? Who took the G? The G was here before lunch. There's no, I'm staring at it. There's no G on here and I can stare at it and not find it. Does that mean, is that stupid or is there something wrong with me?

37:29 Caller Both.

37:33 Adam You'd say the lion's share of it would be stupid though, right? No, I think there's a sprinkling of something wrong.

37:38 Drew I'll give you something wrong but I know how you object to people blaming their mental status on syndromes like dyslexia. I wouldn't want to give you any out.

37:46 Adam I've had many a kind person try to claim I was dyslexic and I tell them, no, I don't know how to read. That's different. It's like, let's suppose you didn't speak Spanish fluently. Would you have an affliction or maybe you just never learned? Right. You know what I mean? People don't understand that about reading. You can not learn reading and you won't know how to read quite easily. It's very easy. You take a kid, lock them in a refrigerator, put a few air holes in it, pop them out at 18, and see if he knows how to read. That's basically how I grew up. So, is that dyslexia? Not everyone who doesn't know how to read has dyslexia.

38:25 Drew But you do tend to get fixated on self-stimulation when you've been in a refrigerator so long, so that makes sense.

38:30 Adam Well, they shouldn't have left that mayonnaise jar there.

38:34 Oh, yeah.

38:35 Adam That's my ramp name, man. A's with a Z. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we're going to talk to Sarah. Sarah 17 gave boyfriend a blow job, now has a painful bump inside her mouth. We'll talk to Sarah after this.

38:56 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

38:58 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

39:02 Caller We'll be right back.

39:11 Adam Hey, Dave, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Tammy Lynn Michaels is our guest tonight. She is from Popular. We're having a very fascinating discussion during the break about what amassed everyone's family.

39:27 Drew We need a Loveline commercial show. Just string together all the discussions we have during the commercials.

39:34 Adam I don't think people enjoy the regular show, though, Drew. You think they'd be...

39:37 Drew That's the point. We can salvage this thing by stringing together the snippets of conversation we have during the commercials.

39:43 Adam The thing I wanted to say, I was talking to someone over the weekend about this, which is Tammy's obviously interested in how people work. I know Drew is endlessly fascinated in that. I am too, because it gives me more fuel to hate them. They anger me, but I'm interested in how they work. I was saying to someone this weekend, there's a lot of people that just go through life and they're raised in a certain environment or culture where there's not much emphasis put on that. There's a lot of you who are listening to me right now who could give a rat's ass about that aspect of life.

40:20 Drew That's so strange.

40:21 Adam I'm telling you everybody, you are living smack dab in the middle of a population where if you learn how you work and your neighbor works and your girlfriend and your boyfriend and your mommy, dad and your boss work, you're gonna have a step up.

40:36 Drew Just a little bit.

40:37 Adam Just a little bit.

40:38 Drew Just an awareness.

40:39 Adam Life will be a lot easier if you do just a little bit of work in that department. And we hear all day long about getting your master's degree to give you a step up on the competition and working out or reading Men's Health magazine, which is basically a gay rag, but give you that extra edge at work and in the bedroom and all that other nonsense. Here's the deal. Figure out yourself, psychology, and people. That's who you live amongst. You're not Ted Kaczynski. You're right in the middle of it. Everything you do is sort of dependent on that. And there's people you want to do what you want them to do. And they want you to do what they want you to do.

41:22 Drew I think even more important.

41:23 Adam You better do it.

41:24 Drew But just know how to realistically appraise who you're dealing with. And have a sense of what your feelings are. Read them and understand them. Take responsibility for them.

41:37 Adam I cannot understand why there's almost no value put on that in this society.

41:43 Tammy Lynn Michaels Well, I think that the first step that you have to do is just show up for people. Just show up in your body as opposed to in just sort of a black hole where you know what?

41:50 Caller It's safe.

41:51 Tammy Lynn Michaels It's safe to sort of check out and carry on a life within your head and not take in the information around you that people give you, that you work with, that you live with, and it's easy to stay in that black hole.

42:01 Adam I don't know what our guest said, but let's take some calls.

42:03 Caller Hey!

42:06 Drew I think you're talking about the whole phenomenon of transference where you just are automatically who you are and you expect other people to be in a certain way as opposed to just being aware. Who is that person in reality? Not how do you see them through the prism of how dad taught you?

42:19 Adam And don't go through life casting a play. Alcoholic boyfriend, boss who doesn't appreciate you or understand you. It's all the same. Magically, you cast the play in junior high, then you can't recast in high school, then you recast in junior college.

42:34 Drew Then you recast the big production.

42:36 Adam The big play is your kids and your husband or your kids and your wife or whoever it works. That's the big, that's when you hit Broadway.

42:43 Drew That's Broadway, yeah.

42:44 Adam Yeah. Then you screw your kids up and then magically your kids.

42:47 Drew Do the same thing.

42:48 Adam Well, they're understudies.

42:49 Drew Yeah.

42:49 Adam If something should happen to you, they got all the dialogue down for your part.

42:53 Drew Yeah.

42:54 Adam They're going to step right in and keep the show going. So everyone, please just mellow out with that. Just get into psychology just a little bit. Who's called psychology?

43:05 Caller People freak out about that.

43:07 Drew Just understand things. Be aware.

43:09 Adam You're a human and you interact with humans every single day. Just learn about the humans a little bit.

43:15 Drew Yeah, that's all.

43:16 Adam Thank you. Sarah, you're 17. What's up?

43:20 Yeah, hi. I just want to say, Dr. Drew, you're really smart. I love you. And Adam, you're hilarious. I just love you.

43:26 Adam Thank you.

43:27 I just need a help, man. I hate. About a couple days ago, I gave my guy a blowjob and now I have these like pumps inside of my mouth.

43:38 Drew Can you describe them any more than that to me?

43:40 They're like, they're kind of like, they're like a little red and then it's white, like full of pus.

43:47 Drew Huh?

43:48 And they hurt a lot.

43:48 Drew Where are they?

43:50 Excuse me?

43:50 Drew Where are they?

43:51 They're right in the side of the corner.

43:54 Adam Right in the corner of your mouth?

43:56 Drew Like on the skin, sort of.

43:58 Yeah.

43:59 Adam You said they're inside your mouth.

44:00 Yeah. Like on the side.

44:03 Drew Like almost inside?

44:05 Yeah.

44:05 Adam Okay. There's, see, your mouth, there's this opening and there's this stuff that goes around the opening, they're called lips. Are you with me?

44:13 Drew It sounds like you're describing something that's sort of on your lip.

44:15 Adam Might it be on the lip?

44:18 Like there's some on like the corner of my lip.

44:22 Drew Okay. Is it like a cold, like a cold sore?

44:24 No. And then it's, then it is inside. It's like... Right.

44:28 Adam But your lip goes inside your mouth too.

44:30 Drew Don't, don't, don't bother.

44:32 Adam You pre-med, Sarah?

44:33 Drew And is it both sides? Anatomic? PhD. Anatomy PhD. And it's on both sides. Are you on any medication?

44:41 No.

44:41 Drew Do you have acne? Are you use acne creams? Anything like that?

44:44 No.

44:45 Drew And did, when you were doing this thing, did you notice that the cards in your mouth tore or got irritated?

44:49 Adam Oh, I wish I could tear a chick's mouth.

44:51 It was just, like...

44:53 Adam I couldn't get Bernadette Peter's mouth to tear with my penis width.

44:58 Drew Does the inside of your mouth sore at all?

45:00 Yeah, kind of.

45:02 Drew Sometimes yeast infections in the mouth will cause what's called chelitis or ankylosis, which is what you're describing.

45:07 Adam You don't think she has herpes? That's...

45:09 Drew usually that's more inside the mouth. This is the corners of the mouth, which is chelitis. And that is typically medication, vitamin issues, yeast inside the mouth. And you're on no other medications at all. Nothing else going on.

45:22 Yeah, nothing else.

45:23 Drew Nothing, no birth control pills.

45:24 Adam It is in the corner of your lip.

45:26 Yeah.

45:27 Drew No birth control pills, nothing.

45:31 Adam Okay.

45:31 Drew Well, it's probably going to go away by itself. I wouldn't do it. You can use a little cortade over the counter. Sometimes that takes care of it. And if it is a yeast in your mouth and the soreness stays in your mouth, you might have somebody take a look at that.

45:43 Okay.

45:43 Adam All right, sir.

45:44 Thank you.

45:45 Adam All right. Drew, I brought you a three-pack of my favorite chapstick, by the way, today. Thank you. Yeah, it's out in the car. We're going to have to get that for you. I want you to promise to use it. You'll enjoy it much more in that high-priced foo-foo stuff you import.

45:58 Drew I like just chapstick.

45:59 Adam No, no, no, no.

46:00 Drew Oh, this is your stuff.

46:01 Adam Chapstick is like a way to break a candle off and rub it on your face. Suzy Chaffee, my ass.

46:08 Caller Popeye.

46:12 Drew Maybe this is Ron.

46:14 Adam Oh, Jesus Christ.

46:17 Tammy Lynn Michaels Are you kidding me? Is that him snoring?

46:19 Drew No, he's kidding.

46:19 Adam I have no idea who this is.

46:22 Caller Hold on, hold on.

46:24 Adam Jesus Christ. All right, we'll get back to Popeye.

46:27 Genius.

46:30 Adam Kenny.

46:31 Caller Yes, sir.

46:32 Adam Year 19, what's up?

46:34 Caller Well, within the last three days, my left nut been kind of swelling up. It's been hurting every time I pee and after a sexual experience. And...

46:45 Adam You have to pee.

46:47 Caller Yes, well, kind of.

46:48 Drew All right, go ahead. What's the question?

46:49 Caller Well, tonight, I just, well, I just got out of the shower and I was checking at the way to Facebook check for a...

46:55 Drew Yeah...

46:56 Caller .stick cancer, whatever. And I felt a lump and now I'm, like, having a, you know, nervous breakdown about it.

47:04 Drew Is it tender, that lump?

47:05 Caller I'm sorry?

47:05 Drew Was the lump tender?

47:08 Caller Kind of, but, well...

47:09 Adam Hold on. Everything on your nuts is tender. Are you kidding me? An anvil, if it was growing inside your sack, would be tender.

47:15 Drew Anvil near your sack is the problem.

47:18 Adam Oh my God.

47:20 Drew But, Candy, look, you probably have the epididymitis or a cystosyel, something like that, because those are the things that typically hurt. And cancer feels hard, like a rock.

47:31 Caller I'm sorry, my whole left nut just...

47:34 Drew The swelling and all, the swelling and all is like, more goes along with the epididymitis. So, tomorrow, see the doctor. It might be from... You said you're sexually active, right?

47:41 Caller Yes.

47:41 Drew So it could be the result of that. And it is something important to get treated.

47:44 Caller Because, well, I don't know, because, like...

47:46 Drew Candy, I think it's infection. I don't think it's tumor. Sure. I'm not sure, because I can't feel the...

47:51 Adam It stakes its reputation on it.

47:52 Drew But it sounds more like epididymitis, that kind of thing, okay?

47:55 Adam Hey, Candy?

47:56 Drew Yes, sir?

47:56 Adam If you die of scrotum cancer, Drew will issue a public apology.

48:00 Caller Is that a promise?

48:02 Adam I will make him do it. That's fine. All right?

48:04 Caller All right, then, hey.

48:05 Adam All right, and deliver your eulogy, as well.

48:08 Caller Yes, sir.

48:09 Adam So, that's gonna help you sleep tonight, right, buddy? I guess. Yeah, he stands behind his diagnoses.

48:15 Drew Yeah, all right. It helps to wear, like, the jockey shorts, too. It helps the lymphatic drainage of the tungsten. I mean, well, all right, well, I mean, wear the jockey shorts tonight. It helps to feel less pain.

48:25 Adam Really?

48:25 Drew Yeah.

48:26 Adam The jockey shorts, I see.

48:27 Drew In bed, in bed.

48:28 Adam Yeah, like a, like a, it's what I grab on there.

48:30 Drew Yeah.

48:31 Adam Why?

48:31 Drew It supports it up. I mean, so gravity is not, the lymphatic strain better when it's pulled up.

48:36 Adam I've taken it out wearing underpants lately. All right. We'll be back. We'll be right back. I like that song, at least that part. Tammy Lynn Michaels is our guest tonight. She's from Popular, Friday Night, W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W Let's see. And it's third season, second season, third season, second season, second season. Well, you don't want to say second, have it be third. True. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. True. It's second smash season again, nine o'clock Friday nights. And Drew, you ready to rock? Yeah.

50:18 Caller All right.

50:19 Adam Let's speak to Robert. Robert?

50:24 Caller Hey, I was just wondering what the long-term effects of weed was.

50:28 Drew Well, we're talking to him right now.

50:29 Adam He starts sounding like Snoop Dogg. That's what happens.

50:32 Drew Well, it's interesting. In teenagers, the effects may be more substantial than in adults. There is some evidence that it actually may cause some brain shrinkage at the time when you really need to call upon your brain to sort of meet new and develop new developmental coping strategies. Is he understanding of this?

50:51 Adam No. Listen.

50:52 Drew You f up when you're a teenager if you smoke a lot of pot.

50:55 Caller Right.

50:56 Drew And later on...

50:57 Adam I think he understood it.

50:58 Caller Pot bad.

50:59 Adam Heat bad. You must smoke plenty bong load and travel for many moon. And you don't make much wampum later in life. You live off stream water and pemmican. You're a slave to the white man.

51:17 Drew As an adult, you can do better. You can do okay with it for a while. But eventually, essentially, everyone will get depressed. You can get panic attacks. You can get severe anxieties. And these can be long term, though usually they resolve within 6 to 12 months of stopping the pot.

51:30 Adam You're bumming aside. Robert, listen. Here's all I know about the weed. We always know the guys who smoke a lot of it. And that's not a good sign. Anytime you're talking about a drug, whatever it is, booze, heroin, pot, coke, whatever, if you know the people that are doing it, it's bad.

51:46 Drew You can tell.

51:47 Adam Yeah, it's bad when a guy shows up and you go, whoo, someone's been drinking. And I don't mean that night. I mean, just over the course of a few years. Over a few years. You start looking like Otis from Mayberry. You've probably been doing some drinking. And I'm saying, we talk to people all the time who smoke a lot of weed and lo and behold, we know they smoke a lot of weed, three syllables into their question, and they think it's not a problem. But believe me, if we know and we're just talking to you over the phone and you barely got out a full sentence and we know you're smoking the weed, that's bad because it's affecting you. It's slowing you down.

52:24 Drew You know, I had a sharp as you could be. You're gonna like I thought of you at this conference. I was just at we were talking about hallucinogens and it turns out there's a part of the brain called the amygdala which sits up here in the frontal lobes, temporal lobes. And it's a part of the brain that monitors for novelty. In other words, when you know when there's a change in the environment like when it's when it's quiet, some noise acts, you know, it picks up that there's been a change. And mushrooms and acids sort of hyper stimulate that region so things that are routine seem novel.

52:53 Adam Ah, yes, that's what I've talked about this before.

52:56 Drew And they seem they seem like brand new, like you're seeing them for the first time and you start interpreting them in a different way.

53:01 Adam Yeah, you're like a newborn but with the sources or something. I think.

53:08 Tammy Lynn Michaels Exactly.

53:09 Adam Yeah, everything's free. I've told the story many times, getting high on mushrooms and seeing a commercial for Lee Press on nails and thinking what a bizarre society we live in, that the women take long pieces of red plastic and then they stick them to the end of their fingers so they can become more attractive to the males.

53:29 Tammy Lynn Michaels Well, how about women just taking big balls of weird plastic and sticking them in their breasts? That's even weirder and you know what? You guys like it, so you look at that.

53:38 Adam Not when I'm high on mushrooms. But you see, when I got high on mushrooms, it was so long ago that, at least first time, because I'm high right now, but no, the first time I got high on mushrooms, it was so long ago and I had such a profound experience, but there wasn't really breast augmentation going on so much back then, so it wasn't something I would freak out. Plus, I didn't see a commercial for it, but I did see the Lee Press On Nails commercial and it really freaked me out because, basically, your fingernails are sort of the human equivalent to claws. Those are kind of your claws. And the idea that they should be sort of blood red was a little bit, and extended, was a little bit bizarre and I read more into it than maybe the ladies probably wanted me to at the time, but bloody red extended claws was not a good thing.

54:29 Drew Someone said pot does the same thing. It can. Pot does the same novel.

54:32 Adam Except for you start laughing before you really dig into it.

54:36 Drew Probably some people have more of that influence than others, and that's what makes it some of the euphoria about things seeming. And by the same token, when you've been stimulating that too long, nothing seems novel. Nothing is interesting. Right.

54:49 Tammy Lynn Michaels So then if you smoke pot for a long time and you get to that point where it's not novel anymore, then when you stop smoking pot, is that where some of the depression comes that you just can't get anything exciting?

55:01 Drew Exactly. Nothing is interesting.

55:03 Tammy Lynn Michaels So it's like chasing the dragon, that first tie, that first, and you go to more and more and more.

55:07 Drew Well, it's kind of. And then the...

55:10 Tammy Lynn Michaels No, not at all, Tammy.

55:10 Drew Well, it's kind of, but the hallmark of depression is loss of enjoyment of previously enjoyable activities. That's the essential feature of depression. So that's what Pot does.

55:20 Adam I don't know. Yeah. You'll find that the people call this show... Well, basically, here's what it is. It's what... When you're stupid, it's how you act. You know, people call this show and I say, hey, I'm talking to some chick and I go, listen, your boyfriend's going to get fired from his job over at the batting cage. And as it turns out, her boyfriend does work at the batting cage.

55:41 Drew Without us, yeah, it was weird.

55:42 Adam But she never mentioned her boyfriend worked at the batting cage. I was just making a joke. And she doesn't find that novel at all that I guess that her boyfriend worked at the batting cage. Right. And now that's stupid.

55:53 Drew Yeah.

55:53 Adam But stupid will put you, now pot will make you stupid. So you know what I'm saying? I wonder if that novel part of your brain. Yeah.

56:00 Drew Not being able to distinguish interesting and different from normal, from baseline.

56:06 Adam Right. Right. That's stupid and pot can make you stupid. You smoke enough a bit. But listen, I'm not against the weed. I'm just against 15 year olds getting baked every day. Shannon.

56:16 Yeah.

56:17 Adam You're 26.

56:18 Caller Yes.

56:18 Adam What's up?

56:20 Caller My boyfriend has osteoarthritis in his knees. It's a strange variety of osteoarthritis and one of the symptoms that causes him to have is psoriasis.

56:31 Drew No, that's not osteoarthritis. That's psoriatic arthritis.

56:34 Caller Okay.

56:35 Drew That's a totally different thing.

56:37 Caller Okay.

56:37 Drew He has it in his hands too probably.

56:40 Caller Not at this point.

56:41 Drew But he will.

56:43 Caller Okay.

56:43 Adam He got that to look forward to.

56:45 Caller Great.

56:47 Adam Any psoriasis? Does he have psoriasis in his knees or just on his body?

56:51 Drew Psoriasis has a form of rheumatoid arthritis associated with it.

56:55 Adam Oh really?

56:56 Drew Yeah.

56:56 Adam Oh, that's great. That's God punishing you.

56:59 Drew It can be as true for different... Well.

57:01 Adam Why can't you get rid of psoriasis? Can't you dip people in something? Why can't you kill stuff?

57:06 Drew There's ways to treat it but it's an autoimmune disease. And when it's with the arthritis it shows a more generalized immune attack on the body.

57:13 Adam How old is your boyfriend?

57:14 Caller 31.

57:15 Adam Fantastic.

57:15 Drew What's the question?

57:17 Caller The question is, we've both been tested for STDs. Any of us have anything? The question is, is psoriasis transmittable to me?

57:23 Drew No, no, no. No, no. It's an autoimmune disease. His immune system is attacking his body.

57:28 Adam Is that what that is? Yeah. Why does it... You know, it comes out in the form of some sort of skin problem, right, psoriasis? And where is it? Where are your bodies that usually help it?

57:39 Drew The extensor services here and the non-sun exposed more than other areas.

57:43 Adam So it's good to be in the sun, by the way, for that, right? All right. Now, you'll be fine, Shannon.

57:47 Drew Venus is a common place for psoriasis.

57:48 Adam Oh, it is?

57:49 Tammy Lynn Michaels Well, it's not in the sun that much.

57:50 Drew That's right. Not now.

57:52 Adam Not his.

57:52 Drew In the atoms.

57:53 Adam You walk around with it out, it gets a little sun.

57:55 Caller Sure.

57:56 Adam Hey, I got a note from my doctor.

57:59 Tammy Lynn Michaels I've got to come to work naked, guys. Let me just set this over here on the counter next to my coffee.

58:04 Drew Yeah. Is he getting methotrexate or anything for his arthritis?

58:08 Caller Yeah, he's getting treatment for that.

58:10 Drew What's he getting?

58:11 Caller I'm not sure.

58:13 Drew Prednisone?

58:14 Caller Off the top of my head what he's getting.

58:16 Adam Prednisone.

58:17 Drew Prednisone.

58:17 Adam Prednisone.

58:18 Drew Yeah.

58:18 Adam Yeah? Is that an arthritis thing? I thought the chicks took that. What am I thinking of?

58:24 Drew You're thinking of progesterone.

58:25 Adam I'm thinking of primary. They should start them with different letters.

58:30 Drew I really should have been a pharmacist.

58:32 Adam Hey.

58:33 Drew First of the P you take it. I don't care.

58:34 Adam Well, no. It's all the same.

58:36 Drew And they should have changed the name, damn it.

58:37 Adam Oh, I just thought of one of the... You know, I was thinking... You know, I drive around. You guys think I'm kidding. I drive around and think about what I would do when I'm in charge.

58:46 Drew You know what? I believe you do that.

58:47 Adam Yeah.

58:48 Drew That's how scared I am.

58:48 Adam You know, one of my... Well, first off, I called a wrong number tonight on the cell phone on the freeway when you take the phone and you try to ram it inside your eardrum because there's too much noise going on. You can't hear it. And you get that... And then the guy says, hey, you've called the wrong number. And I think to myself every goddamn time I hear that thing, I think to myself, what about if the recording just came on where the guy said, you've called the wrong number? How confusing would that be? Why do I need the sound of a cat being tumbled inside a trash can before the guys? You know what I mean? Why do I need that sound? Why do I need that MRI sound, Drew, before I get to the guy's voice? Someone's got to give me that answer because it drives me insane and I'm driving on the freeway and I'm thinking, gone. When I'm in power, gone. First order of business. First order of business. Gone. That goddamn screeching on the blackboard before the recording, gone. What is the danger of that? Are you going to keep talking? Sorry. You have called the wrong... No. Wait a minute, dude. Hear me out. Do we need that sound? Why do we have that? That's the second thing that's gone when I'm in charge. What were we just talking about? You know what else is gone? Potion pull on the doors.

1:00:13 Drew They're too similar?

1:00:14 Adam PU. Four letters, gone. I change one, it's just like yank. One is yank or kick? I hit that door with the head of steam, I'm not concentrating, bang! The big aluminum thing, everyone in the restaurant turns and looks, they think some sort of hostage situation is taking place over there and it's just you. Push and pull, same two letters, gone. Yank, yank, and push. That's it. I got more too, oh, I got plenty. And let me tell you something too, these are the kind of changes that people want to see. I can't think they're interested in soft money, packs and things like that, all this nonsense they're talking about or what the hell's going on with some foreign policy. No, guy, we want this kind of, we want these policies in action. I would work locally. That's right. Kyle?

1:01:06 Caller Yeah?

1:01:07 Adam You're 14. What's up?

1:01:08 Caller Yeah, I met some girl. There's a phone network. It's called The Loop. You know, L-O-U-P? Have you heard of it?

1:01:18 Caller No, haven't.

1:01:19 Caller You haven't? Oh, um, I met some girl on The Loop. I started talking to her and she wants to know, because she lives local, and she wants to know if she should meet me somewhere.

1:01:30 Drew Was your mom in the room or something?

1:01:32 Caller No.

1:01:32 Adam Are you masturbating? Are you masturbating? What's, is there something wrong with you?

1:01:37 Drew Do you have asthma?

1:01:38 Caller I'm trying to keep quiet because, like, in the other room, someone's in there or something.

1:01:42 Caller Okay, all right.

1:01:43 Caller Anyways, I saw Dr. Drew. Are you there, Dr. Drew?

1:01:46 Drew Yeah, this is a bogus call.

1:01:48 Adam Yeah, all right, Kyle. Well, he mentioned The Loop eight times.

1:01:52 Drew Yeah.

1:01:53 Adam And by the way, if you want to squeeze in a brand name or something like that, try not to give a five-second pause and then work it in a real urgent way, like you're taking a cramp. So anyway, I met this girl on The Loop. You ever heard of it? L-O-U-B, L-U-B. And she was, you know, on The Loop as well. She'd be just a little more casual when you're weaving in. That's all. Right. People want to check The Loop out. That's fine. John?

1:02:24 Yeah.

1:02:24 Adam You're 30?

1:02:26 Caller 34.

1:02:27 Adam 34.

1:02:27 Caller Yeah.

1:02:28 Adam What's up, brother?

1:02:29 Caller I had a friend that just recently drank himself to death. And now I have another one that is snorting painkillers.

1:02:38 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:02:41 Caller And I'm just wondering why and what is it doing to him?

1:02:46 Drew Well, it's making him an addict.

1:02:48 Adam What do you get with the snorting of the painkillers, Drew, that you wouldn't get from taking them? You know, like a Vicodin? Can you snort a Vicodin?

1:02:55 Caller It's called oxycodone.

1:02:56 Drew Yeah, which is morph, which is, is it hydrocodone?

1:03:02 Adam Well, oxy means more than one, many. And then cotton means it's a kind of a plant that's, sweaters are made up. So it means many, many sweaters.

1:03:12 Drew Long-acting percussive.

1:03:13 Adam No, wait a minute, it's poly. What's oxy?

1:03:16 Drew It's oxycodone.

1:03:17 Adam What's oxy mean? What's the prefix oxy mean?

1:03:20 Drew Made up, it's nothing.

1:03:21 Adam It doesn't mean anything?

1:03:21 Drew Nothing specific.

1:03:22 Adam Oxy 10, oxymoron.

1:03:25 Drew Well, look in the dictionary.

1:03:27 Adam Oh, frown. Can't you just know stuff? That's why you're here, Drew, if it were, okay. But watch how fast Drew can look stuff up, by the way. It would take me 45 minutes to look this word up. All right. You ready, Drew?

1:03:40 Drew But let's continue the discussion. The people that choose opiates usually have got problems with some other negative, some problems controlling their affect. Oxy, containing oxygen, additional oxygen.

1:03:55 Adam Well, there you go. Okay. So you're saying that like oxy-10 has more oxygen in it.

1:04:00 Drew No, but it gives oxyhemoglobin, oxyhydrogen is the example.

1:04:05 Adam So it's short for oxygen?

1:04:07 Drew No, I don't think that's how it's used in these. Anyway, people that choose opiates, they're basically alcoholics who have an awful lot of negative feelings they're carrying around, usually trauma survivors, that sort of thing. And opiates make everything fine. They work for them for a little while, but then they send a throw a switch in the brain and actually cause a brain change that makes them permanently focused on the pursuit of that drug and they can't stop. And that's addiction. And with opiates, that's extraordinarily powerful change.

1:04:36 Adam So what should John do?

1:04:37 Drew You got to get him to treatment, John. It's not going to stop without treatment. He will die of opiate addiction.

1:04:41 Adam Oh, he's just snorting painkillers.

1:04:44 Drew Or switch to something else. If he makes the switch to something else, the intensity of use of that drug to make up for the opiates will have to be profound.

1:04:53 Adam All right, John. Thank you.

1:04:54 Caller Sorry, buddy.

1:04:55 Adam Sorry for your friends. But you know what? Don't hang out with them either. I mean, at a certain point.

1:05:01 Drew Yeah, I mean, that's part of what gets their attention.

1:05:03 Adam One friend who just died of too much alcohol. You got another friend who's snorting oxyten. I mean, that's, I mean, maybe you shouldn't be hanging around with all these people. It's something to think about, too.

1:05:16 Drew Yeah, but part of the loss, part of what gets their attention is the multiple losses that are incurred from the disease. So you can be part of what captures their attention. Do you want to talk about your?

1:05:26 Adam But Tammy, what did you ignore it?

1:05:29 Tammy Lynn Michaels All right. I've been at Tylenol. No, there's, as far as addictions and stuff like that. Well, there's, yeah, there's, there's several people in my life who have dealt with addictions, whether it's alcohol or drugs or even pot. And you can transfer addictions, you can transfer it from drugs to food to sex. And basically, my personal feeling and my experiences, if you have anything to an extreme, it's to fill a void.

1:05:58 Adam Tell me when you moved to sex, by the way.

1:06:00 Tammy Lynn Michaels Okay, so anyway, well, here's, here's my theory, Dr. Drew. And I'm so excited to share this with you. My theory is, so far, if, if there's an overeating happening, that is a cover-up of sort of sexual abuse or some sort of sexual trauma. If there's a drugs addiction, that tends to cover up verbal and emotional abuse. And alcohol covers up physical abuse. Like, that's in my experience with the people I know and the conversations I've held, I've always found that overeating and, and addictions to food is to change the body. Yeah, to protect the way, to keep people away. Yeah, absolutely.

1:06:38 Drew But usually that doesn't end the story, because usually there's so much pain associated with having been sexual abuser.

1:06:43 Caller Oh, absolutely.

1:06:44 Drew With that.

1:06:45 Adam Drew's theory is physical abuse as a child. I'm sorry, drug abuse is related to sexual abuse, and then alcohol is related to sexual abuse, and then eating, and then what, eating paste, would that be a byproduct of sexual abuse?

1:07:03 Tammy Lynn Michaels Well, and farting after midnight is sexual abuse.

1:07:05 Caller Absolutely. Oh, yeah.

1:07:08 Drew There's some pattern in there of that type, that's absolutely true.

1:07:11 Adam All right. So, what do you, is this Tammy? Do we need to know something about Tammy?

1:07:15 Drew No, it's not about her.

1:07:16 Adam It's not about Tammy.

1:07:17 Tammy Lynn Michaels No, it's not about me. There's somebody who's very, very close to me in my life who is a recovering pill addict, and it started out with sort of binging on beer, and whoever she dated, if they drank beer a lot, then she would drink beer a lot, and then it came to her not drinking beer as much, unless they were round, and then it went to pills, and then she became addicted to pills, and then she became addicted to alcohol, and it just was a cycle.

1:07:39 Adam Can you transfer?

1:07:40 Tammy Lynn Michaels She is.

1:07:41 Adam She's like my kind of gal.

1:07:43 Tammy Lynn Michaels Several years older than you.

1:07:45 Adam Oh, all right. Well, you know.

1:07:46 Tammy Lynn Michaels You into that?

1:07:47 Adam Give me some of them pills. We got a deal. All right, Drew. You're like Tonto with a medical degree. James?

1:08:00 Caller Yes?

1:08:02 Adam You're 20?

1:08:03 Caller Correct.

1:08:03 Adam You've never been with a girl?

1:08:05 Caller No, I haven't.

1:08:06 Adam You're not missing much. You have a social phobia?

1:08:12 Caller Yeah. I heard Drew talking last week with someone who was with a 27-year-old virgin.

1:08:18 Adam Right.

1:08:19 Caller And I was wondering when that's considered to be a problem.

1:08:24 Drew What? When's what's considered a problem?

1:08:26 Adam Your virginity?

1:08:27 Caller Well, never been with a woman.

1:08:29 Drew In other words, if it's something that's not part of your value system or your moral beliefs, it's just.

1:08:35 Adam I think he's looking for an age.

1:08:36 Drew It's a byproduct of your condition. The problem is not the symptom. It's a symptom. Your problem is your condition that you have difficulty connecting with people and associating in social circumstances. And that can be treated.

1:08:48 Caller What happened?

1:08:50 What do you mean?

1:08:51 Adam What's up? I mean, why do you think you're this way?

1:08:55 Caller I don't know.

1:08:55 Caller I mean, I've been going to a therapist and a psychiatrist and I'm on Paxil and Klonopin.

1:09:01 Drew Good.

1:09:02 Caller And is that helping?

1:09:04 Caller Excuse me?

1:09:05 Drew Is that helping?

1:09:06 Caller It helped with some of the symptoms like the blushing, things like that.

1:09:10 Caller But I still have problems socializing.

1:09:13 Adam Yeah. Do you have any friends?

1:09:17 Caller I have. I had two, but they're both way at college right now.

1:09:20 Adam They're way of college.

1:09:22 Caller Yeah.

1:09:22 Adam And so that's it. Now you don't have any friends.

1:09:25 Caller Right.

1:09:26 Adam Do you work? Yeah.

1:09:27 Caller I work second shift full time.

1:09:30 Drew It seems to me that this is kind of situation where what they call cognitive behavioral interventions would be awfully useful, which is just helping you plan and manage and cope with developing new social connections.

1:09:41 Adam How does that work?

1:09:43 Drew I don't know anything about it. I know that it exists.

1:09:46 Adam Well, here's the deal. Here's my take on this. Where do you work?

1:09:50 Caller I work in a lab at Ohio Hospital.

1:09:52 Adam Fantastic.

1:09:53 Caller So, it's a physical woman.

1:09:56 Adam Nice. That's good. Well, no. Here's what I was going to say, unfortunately, for young James. It's easier to make friends. It's going to be easier for James on a sort of uncomfortable scale, one to 10, 10 being best. It's going to be a six to talk to some guys as friends, and it's going to be a nine or 10 to talk to some women for a date.

1:10:17 Drew Yeah.

1:10:18 Tammy Lynn Michaels It's going to be like a hundred for him to talk to women.

1:10:20 Adam Well, now it is. Thanks. James, don't kill yourself tonight.

1:10:25 Drew Not just because Tammy said what she said.

1:10:27 Tammy Lynn Michaels No, I mean, I just, he just seems so shy. It seems like it's physically painful for him to talk to women.

1:10:32 Adam Well, here's what you need to do.

1:10:34 Caller I'm talking to him as friends.

1:10:36 Drew Don't start in the workplace. That's my first or first.

1:10:38 Tammy Lynn Michaels Oh, yeah.

1:10:39 Drew Do not start there. No.

1:10:41 Adam Okay.

1:10:41 Drew Because if things go bad, he's going to be spying about it.

1:10:44 Adam Well, they're going to go bad wherever he goes. You're right. Yes. Okay. Better they should go bad at the Red Onion than over at the lab. Yeah. There could be a fire. Things go bad at the lab. Things catch on fire. It's fire. Rabbits die.

1:10:56 Drew Mix up the urine.

1:10:57 Adam Okay. James.

1:10:59 Drew Yeah.

1:10:59 Adam James, listen to me. You make some guy friends. Okay?

1:11:04 Drew Yeah. That is the first order business.

1:11:06 Adam Don't worry about the cool in hip guys like myself. You hang out with the nerdy guys, the Dungeon Dragon guys. You understand? But you make some friends. Make some dude friends and then you hang out and now you got a little confidence, you got a little click and now you and your buddies go out on the weekend and then you tilt a couple of beers and you shoot some pool and you see if you can meet some women. All right? Go with the guy friends first. You gotta have your guy friends. As much as women complain about men and their buddies, I don't think I know a woman who would trust a guy who didn't have any guy friends. Do you know what I'm saying?

1:11:42 Tammy Lynn Michaels Oh yeah.

1:11:42 Adam Yeah, you wouldn't trust that guy, would you?

1:11:44 Tammy Lynn Michaels No.

1:11:44 Adam You'd think there's something up with this guy.

1:11:46 Tammy Lynn Michaels Well, yeah. I mean, it depends on what the guy friends are doing, if they're all mooning women and like shooting up and.

1:11:56 Drew What else do the guy friends do?

1:11:58 Tammy Lynn Michaels You know, I mean, if they, it depends. I mean, I like guys who have friends because it just shows that there's bonding. I think it's actually very sweet to see a bunch of guys hitting each other around like, oh, you're so stupid, because it's actually very endearing.

1:12:11 Adam Women, women are, obviously.

1:12:13 Drew What is wrong with Tammy?

1:12:14 Caller I've never heard something like this before.

1:12:16 Adam We also know that women love guys with friends because once they get with them, they constantly harangue them about hanging around with their guy friends. Do you see what I'm saying? So obviously, they're attracted to those kinds of guys. I want to say something, he said he worked at the lab and it reminded me of something. I've been watching a lot of Charlie's Angels this week, Nick at Night or something like a Charlie's Angels Marathon. I used to watch Charlie's Angels when I would babysit when I was like 13 years old, and so now I'm kind of reliving that. And anyway, I opened some pie filling and put some miniature marshmallows. Did you? No, I didn't do that. But I used to do that when I was a baby. I'd go nuts. But here's what I've learned from Charlie's Angels. I was telling you last week, see Charlie's Angels is not just Charlie's Angels, it's Aaron Spellings, and it sort of speaks for every show of that time. Yes, basically.

1:13:10 Drew Oh, yes, it does.

1:13:10 Adam And I was telling Drew last week that the two ways you killed people in the 70s, one was by cutting the brake lines to the car, which we all know kills someone instantly. And the second way is when it got in the sauna, you put a chair up against the doorknob and then you turn it up. Yeah, because as we all know, and anyone who manufactures saunas can back me up on this, because if, you know, over 130 will kill a man, you build them to 185, 190.

1:13:39 Drew No problem.

1:13:40 Caller No problem.

1:13:40 Adam And make sure the knob's out there with the big red arrow on it that says danger at the bottom. That's genius.

1:13:47 Caller That's genius.

1:13:49 Adam We're installing a sauna at the health club. What's comfortable? 105, 110? Uh-huh. What can the human body tolerate? 120, 125? What's this go up to? 202? Nice. And where's the knob? It's on the outside. But just turn it all the way up. How long can a human live in there? They have four or five minutes where they died. Gary, that's a great plan. But the other thing I noticed about 70s TV, I was watching this week with Charlie Sengels, a lot of shenanigans going on in the hospital. A lot of hospital related stuff. The hospital was a dark and spooky place in the 70s.

1:14:27 Drew Oh right, because the medical technology just sort of hit in the 60s.

1:14:31 Adam So it was all of that. First off, there was the prison or the witness who was in the hospital. Remember all these 70s shows? Cops standing out front of the door of the room, guy walking in in the janitor's outfit. Yeah, I got to take care. Cop falling asleep on the chair. Janor, now holding the pillow over the guy's head. A lot of shenanigans, a lot of murder, a lot of nonsense going on in the hospital, ironically enough, and the hospital was a spooky place in the 70s. They'd open the quarter, they'd look down at the quarter, be dark and nobody be in it. Like some guy's trying to rape one of Charlie's angels. She goes bursting out of the room and into the hallway and it's dark.

1:15:13 Drew There's nobody there.

1:15:13 Adam There's nobody there. I'm thinking to myself, I mean, okay, maybe a library, a hospital. Who decided, first of all, there's no place more well lit than a hospital. I mean, you open a closet, a mop closet, you're blinded, it's so light in a hospital, and there's tons of people everywhere all the time. You can't have a madman chase you down an endless corridor, like with a scalpel, and then you get into an empty elevator. Oh, Christ. Then you open the door, he's there. No one's around. Once in a while, there's a guy pushing a gurney, but only so the guy could knock him over while he's running. I've been to like the Kaiser Permanente out in West Hills or wherever the hell that is over there. You can't get, first off, you can't park. You gotta walk. You gotta park your car like 40 miles away and walk because it's packed. When you open the door, you can't get in. I mean, you couldn't run, you couldn't do anything. How did that go, Drew?

1:16:13 Drew We'll talk more about it in the break, and put that in our break show.

1:16:15 Adam No, you know what I realized?

1:16:16 Drew The commercial show.

1:16:17 Adam No, I realized shows like ER and Chicago Hope and all these shows, they ruined it for all these Aaron Spelling type producers and stuff.

1:16:25 Drew They put our reality in.

1:16:26 Adam Mysterious, dark, strange place where you could get away with rape and murder, and now they made it into some sort of bustling, well-lit area that no one could rape in anymore. It breaks my heart. It breaks my heart. We'll take a break.

1:16:44 Caller Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:17:11 Adam Yeah. It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Tammy Lynn Michaels is our guest tonight from Popular. Friday night, 9 o'clock, W-W-W-W-W-B. The other thing I learned from watching Charlie's Angels, and it's been nonstop, it's on when I get home at night, it's on, I watch it all weekend. The other thing I forgot about Charlie's Angels is they constantly go undercover, right? Like there was a great white slavery one. And by the way, I don't know what happened to white slavery. That was another thing that was very hot. Infants for sale, young blonde women for sale. A lot of people, white people getting sold. Apparently that's cooled off a little in the 80s and 90s. I'd like to see it come back. Because now I got some money, I'd like to see this white slavery come back, mind myself a white person. But there was these, so they go undercover to bust this baby ring. They get these beautiful women, the women get knocked up, they have their kid, and then they sell the kid off to wealthy couples. That's all fine, and going undercover is all fine. But when they go undercover, and I think it's because the ladies wanted to do a little acting, stretch their wings a little bit. But what's her name, Sabrina? Kate Jackson is playing one of the prospective buyers at the White Slave for the Infant, you know. So she's got the big Charles Nelson Riley glasses on, she's chain smoking and speaking with this sort of southern accent. And not very effectively, by the way. And I'm watching it thinking, you know, it's not like they know who you are. Do you know what I'm saying? They have no idea who you are. To me, you're Kate Jackson. You're the chick I'm going to masturbate to in another couple of years when I get the toothbrush over my buddy Chris' house. But to them, you're someone they've never seen before. And the reason we know they've never seen you before, because you wouldn't walk in there if they've seen you before. So drop the big Southern accent in the glasses. And by the way, you're acting is so obnoxious that you're actually drawing attention to yourself. Like if I were dealing with you at this place, I'd be like, hey, this chick's freaking out. She's chain smoking. She's like out of a Tennessee Williams play. You know, the glasses are everywhere. And I'm thinking to myself, this must have been one of these things where they said to the producers, listen, we want to stretch our wings a little. I'm an actress.

1:19:31 Drew I don't do fluff. It's spelling.

1:19:34 Adam It's...

1:19:34 Drew You know what? You probably went for it before she mentioned it.

1:19:39 Adam Oh, that Cheryl Ladd is doing her sort of runaway youth thing. And it's all a disaster and all very distracting. And like I said, how far undercover do you got to go when no one knows who you are? And by the way, aren't you drawing attention to yourself at a certain point with these big affectations? Lisa?

1:19:57 Yeah.

1:19:58 Adam I know I must read way more into this than other people do. I'm actually yelling at the TV set.

1:20:04 Drew What's up, Lisa?

1:20:04 No, okay, well, I was listening to your show like the past hour and there's some guy that called and he's like 15 and his girlfriend's pregnant. She's like 14.

1:20:14 Drew And they're hell bent on the parents not finding out about the pregnancy.

1:20:18 Yeah, well, okay, well, I'm 17 and I have a two and a half year old and I'm part of this great parenting class at Santa Monica High School. And it's like you can like you can go ahead and talk to them and they help you out, you know, to decide with, you know, if you want to keep the child or have an abortion or adoption.

1:20:34 Drew What's the phone number?

1:20:35 310. Hang on.

1:20:36 Drew I'm going to write it on my phone.

1:20:37 Adam Wait a minute. How do we know where this guy, this guy could have been calling from Monsey.

1:20:40 Drew I know, but we'll just use this number anyway.

1:20:42 You know what? They accept anybody that's under 18.

1:20:44 Drew From whatever, any state?

1:20:46 I know. I mean, we're in Santa Monica, so I don't know. If you're willing to move to Santa Monica, then I guess so.

1:20:51 Drew No, this guy could have been calling from Baltimore. What's the number anyway? So I've got it. 310.

1:20:56 310 394. Oh my God. I just completely forgot the number.

1:21:04 Adam Well, I'm glad you called in.

1:21:06 Drew 394 9400?

1:21:07 No, it's just that I don't call it that much.

1:21:09 Adam 394 9400?

1:21:10 310 394 32.

1:21:14 Drew Oh, I hope you're right. Because somebody, if I give that number out, a lot of people will hear it.

1:21:18 Adam Drew, why don't you call it during the break? I was just checking. Sure you were. What's the problem, son?

1:21:25 No, but it's a really great program. And I just, I recommend it for anybody because they help you out with child care for your kid while you go to school. And even, you know, when they decide when they start going to preschool, they help you find schools and, you know, let's talk to Lisa for a second.

1:21:40 Adam Okay. This is in the People's Republic of Santa Monica?

1:21:45 Drew Because, you know, but really there is a potential for social work and government, maybe not government agencies, but agencies to help out with kids having kids, you know? And this sort of a case point that if we prepare for what really happens to these young people and their kids, we can make the outcomes a little better.

1:22:04 Adam Well, we might as well get realistic about it, which is, the first thing we should work on is prevention, and I think we should treat this no differently than we treat drugs in this country.

1:22:17 Drew Any of the disease states?

1:22:18 Adam Yes. The first thing is, is let's try to live in a society where people don't do drugs, where people aren't lured to do drugs, where people don't get, teenage girls don't get pregnant, and then let's have a plan for when and if, if and when they do.

1:22:33 Drew That's built on reality.

1:22:35 Adam Now we'll work a little rehab, and there you go.

1:22:37 Drew Built on reality. There's a proposition in California that's going to try to funnel a lot of these people out of the jail system into the rehab system.

1:22:44 Adam Yeah.

1:22:45 Drew I think it's Prop 36. I think that's smart. Oh, are you kidding? It'll be fantastic. They should do it.

1:22:49 Adam Well, obviously.

1:22:51 Drew Ninety percent relapse without treatment. So, I mean, in that system.

1:22:55 Adam Why? I always wonder why it is that the policies of the state or the country or the city have zero to do with psychological principle, like with what will actually work and what will not be effective, whether it's talking about crime or drugs, drug addicts or whatever, teenage pregnancies or clean needles for junkies, whatever it is, it should all be based on how effective it will be. And that's it, not moral or religious components, just is it going to work or isn't it? Are we going to have less people in prison or are we going to have less junkies? That's it.

1:23:29 Drew And you know what I think though, in this country, religion has always been an important part of the expression of liberty. It really, it's intimately tied with that. So as soon as you talk about things that affect liberty or add to liberties, immediately you start talking about ideologies. It's just woven right into that.

1:23:45 Adam Okay, but here's the deal. Obviously, the war on drugs has not worked out as well as we thought it would. The war on anything that people want doesn't seem to work out. It really doesn't. If there's a demand, there's a supply. And obviously, the people we don't want to have the money, then get the money. And it's a very vicious cycle. It's that way with any substance. So let's try to get rid of some of the demand. That's it. That's the only angle on this. Otherwise, it's a sort of futile angle. It's like building a sandcastle and having the tide come in and destroy it, and you're hurrying up and building it again. Tide is going to come in every night at sunset and destroy it. It is done.

1:24:28 Tammy Lynn Michaels No matter how much of the Bible you read, tide is going to come in.

1:24:31 Adam That is right.

1:24:32 Tammy Lynn Michaels You can't be just throwing that around, thinking your kids aren't going to have sex. Throw them a condom, too, with that psalm.

1:24:36 Adam That is right. Thank you very much.

1:24:38 Caller All right.

1:24:38 Adam I'll see you in hell, Tammy. Drew?

1:24:41 Drew I'm on my way. I'll see you in the bathroom.

1:24:43 Caller All right.

1:24:43 Adam All right. I'd like to go off on that Santa Monica for another minute. I can't stay in that place.

1:24:49 Drew Well, let's do it. You do it.

1:24:51 Caller All right.

1:24:51 Adam All right.

1:24:52 Caller We'll be back.

1:24:53 Drew That's your other great place for free.

1:25:29 Adam Yes, it is a love line. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Oh, I forget about that. Tammy Lynn Michaels is our guest tonight. She is from Popular.

1:26:08 Drew What three? The Buzz Lightyear?

1:26:12 Adam Just three. That's all you need to know.

1:26:14 Drew Well, Buzz Lightyear.

1:26:15 Adam Yeah, the Buzz Lightyear cartoon was out in the new release section.

1:26:19 Drew The thing with Freddie Prince Jr.?

1:26:21 Adam Down to you.

1:26:22 Drew Down to you.

1:26:23 Adam And that Brooke Shields movie.

1:26:25 Drew Oh, that was out?

1:26:26 Adam Yeah.

1:26:26 Drew I haven't seen that.

1:26:28 Adam Yeah, what the hell is the name of that movie?

1:26:30 Drew I wonder if anybody has seen that film.

1:26:31 Adam I can't remember the name of that.

1:26:32 Drew No one has certainly called to tell us they've seen that film.

1:26:35 Adam I've seen it. I thought it was decent. It wasn't bad. He weren't bad. It was all right. Oh, boy. But it is no Huelhauser. Three movies in the new release thing. It's nice. Yeah, it's nice. It was pretty good. And then there was some guy and he was thinking about renting that Brooke Shields movie with his girlfriend and I was standing right there and he was like, I don't know, what's it about? Oh, this girl, she goes to Palm Springs with a few of her friends and has a little sexual liaison and his girlfriend is like going, well, I don't know. And I'm like standing there going, come on, man, get the movie. Okay, you don't want that, but how about Buzz Lightyear? Could I interest you? And how about down to you? And Freddie Prince Jr. He's Chip Off The Old Block, that good looking kid. Yeah, I don't know why I stood there. It was very important to me that they rent that movie. No, they didn't. Oh, no, they didn't. No. Like I was in for a taste, you know. John, John, you're 22.

1:27:39 Caller Oh, yeah, hi. I just want to get some perspective on this. It's kind of a strange call, but I just found out that my father's been tape recording all my phone conversations for the last like eight years.

1:27:53 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:27:56 Caller What? Oh, and I just don't know how to feel. He apologized to me. And I mean, this is really sick, right? I just want an objective.

1:28:07 Drew Yes, yes, it is not not healthy.

1:28:10 Adam How did he do that?

1:28:11 Caller What?

1:28:12 Adam How did he do that?

1:28:13 Caller He's got his high tech equipment or whatever downstairs. And I found all these tapes.

1:28:17 Drew But, you know, it's his deal, not yours. You know what I'm saying? I mean, it affects you certainly. But you realize it's a disturbed behavior. He's apologized. He's acknowledged that it's a problem. He hasn't caused you any consequence, has it?

1:28:33 Caller Um, in what sense?

1:28:34 Drew Has anything happened as a result of him eavesdropping?

1:28:38 Caller Uh, just I just feel like.

1:28:40 Drew Yeah, you feel totally violated. I'm sure you feel violated. I'm sure you're freaked out by that. But the point is that it's over. You haven't been harmed by it. It's your dad's problem. Don't make it your problem. Anymore that it already feels like it's your problem.

1:28:55 Adam I know this sounds like a great intrusion, but why don't you go pull that puberty file and have a bong load and really knock yourself out. You're like 13 and a half, you're on the horn with some dude you haven't seen in five years now, and you're talking about this new band coming out called Warrant. They're really hot. You know, they sing Cherry Pie. We're going to go down to the ice. We're going down to the roller rink this weekend. You hear yourself talking about some chick you like and all that. I mean, this is amazing. Hey, your dad's an idiot. But I, hey, Drew, seriously, as an adult.

1:29:33 Drew Oh, you'd love to have that.

1:29:35 Adam How weird would it be for you to hear yourself at 15?

1:29:38 Drew We would.

1:29:39 Adam Especially now, the only conversations. My, my, my, oh, the conversation. Well, my family's so lame. They never took any pictures. We don't have home movies or cameras or tape recordings or anything. They don't. There's no documentation. I swear to Christ, I've gotten drunk and yelled this at my dad a few times, which is if something happened to me and they went to his house saying, we need a picture to put in the newspaper, to put up at the post office or something, he wouldn't be able to provide anything. It would take him a long time. He'd have to search and search. And it wouldn't be anywhere near this time. It would be like when I was 11 and there's one there. But there's no documentation. I mean, close your eyes and picture my family. Okay, now picture them recording anything or doing anything. There's nothing. I played 150 Pop Warner football games. There's not a, you know, baseball. There's not a picture, nothing. No home movies, nothing. I would love to have a tape of me at 14 talking to one of my buddies on the phone, especially when I didn't know it was being recorded.

1:30:41 Caller Right.

1:30:41 Adam Because if there is a recording of you, it's you goofing off into a microphone.

1:30:45 Caller Right.

1:30:46 Adam You're singing Can't Buy Me Love.

1:30:48 Drew Now, this is you with your game face on.

1:30:51 Adam Yeah, this is you're like, dude, I'm going out for the sophomore basketball team. Are there some chick or I'm running for, you know what I mean?

1:30:59 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:30:59 Adam Oh, that'd be excellent. I think this guy should thank his father. John, yeah, your father, your father's a weird dude, but hang on to those tapes. And did you, did you do, are you gay?

1:31:11 Caller No.

1:31:11 Adam Okay, did you do anything weird on any of them?

1:31:13 Caller Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, I, you know, of course, I mean, nothing like, I mean, I had girlfriends and stuff, you know, and but it's just.

1:31:21 Adam Were you, are you, are you putting it all together now, though?

1:31:24 Caller Yeah, I mean, what I mean is, is some pretty, some things that probably I didn't want him to hear.

1:31:29 Adam But what I'm saying is, is if you were saying your friend on a Thursday night, yeah, tomorrow we're going to get, we're going to get our older brother, Kurt, to go to the liquor store and get us some wine coolers. We're going to the park and we're going to drink out in the park. We're going to do some donuts and his El Camino out on the lawn and blah, blah, blah. And then he said, your dad, dad, I'm going to the, you know, I'm going to the basketball game. I'll be back at that. Did he like stop? I mean, do you know what I'm talking about?

1:31:54 Caller Yeah, I mean, you know, he was pretty cool for the most part of me. He's pretty liberal, open minded person, but he's sure he takes the calls.

1:32:01 Adam I don't know if it's a control thing. I don't know how to... Shut up. Answer my question. Is there ever instances where you sort of knew where it seemed like he was tipped off?

1:32:11 Caller Yes. Yes. There you go.

1:32:13 Adam So he was listening to the tapes after the conversation.

1:32:17 Caller Yes.

1:32:17 Tammy Lynn Michaels But here's my question. Are your parents married?

1:32:20 Caller Yeah.

1:32:21 Tammy Lynn Michaels See, because I'm... My first thought is his dad is like living through him or something, or vicariously trying to have another childhood or...

1:32:27 Drew In most of the situations where I've seen dads taping, it's because they feel out of control and they want to completely control their kids, and it's aggressive and it's intrusive and it's a real serious violation.

1:32:39 Adam All right.

1:32:39 Drew But I'm trying to sort of minimize your feelings about that right now.

1:32:43 Adam Look, John, look on the bright side. If this was your mom doing this, you'd be gay right now. So you dodged that bullet.

1:32:49 Caller All right. All right, buddy.

1:32:51 Adam All right. Tell your dad, you know, you don't really give, just tell him you lost a lot of respect for him and now you want this.

1:32:56 Caller That's what I basically said and I just feel creeped out right now.

1:33:00 Drew Yeah, you should. Sure.

1:33:02 Caller You know, I never thought I'd be calling this show ever, but.

1:33:06 Adam Thanks, yeah.

1:33:06 Drew I appreciate it.

1:33:08 Tammy Lynn Michaels I love you too.

1:33:09 Adam And I had many fantasies about talking to John, but never thought it would actually come to fruition, and here we are.

1:33:15 Drew How disappointing. What a disappointment.

1:33:17 Adam I thought he'd be taller over the radio. All right, come on, let's squeeze something in. What do you say, everybody? All right.

1:33:23 Drew Well, this is the one I want to talk to.

1:33:25 Adam Daisy.

1:33:26 Tammy Lynn Michaels Yeah.

1:33:27 Adam You're 19, you always want to have sex?

1:33:29 Tammy Lynn Michaels Yeah.

1:33:30 Adam You've had 200 partners?

1:33:32 More.

1:33:33 Adam More than 200?

1:33:34 Drew Are you an addict?

1:33:35 Yeah.

1:33:36 Drew To what?

1:33:37 A crack.

1:33:38 Drew Yeah. So this is part of your addiction. Were you sexually abused when you were a child?

1:33:42 Yeah.

1:33:43 Drew Yeah. I mean, that is the recipe that creates Daisy, which is sexual abuse in childhood meets the biology of addiction, meets opportunity for drugs.

1:33:52 Tammy Lynn Michaels Meets a need for love.

1:33:54 Drew It's all that emptiness. Yeah.

1:33:55 Adam There you go. Daisy, you can't count partners if you're doing it to score a crack, by the way.

1:34:01 Drew But you sexualize your feelings. Each time you compulsively act out, you're that five-year-old kid again.

1:34:06 Adam She's doing it to get the crack, though, right, Daisy?

1:34:08 Drew Part of it's that.

1:34:09 Tammy Lynn Michaels Well, but if you're also taking advantage of sexuality at a young age, don't you feel like sort of that's all you have to offer?

1:34:14 Drew That's who she is, yeah. That's who she is. But this needs treatment, Daisy. Seriously, you're going to get AIDS.

1:34:17 Caller I'm in treatment right now.

1:34:19 Caller Where are you?

1:34:21 Caller What state?

1:34:21 Drew You're at a hospital?

1:34:22 Caller No. I'm in a house right now, but I go to drug treatment.

1:34:26 Drew Okay.

1:34:26 Caller All right.

1:34:27 Drew So you're on your way. Talk about this in treatment. Talk about everything. Things you feel the most ashamed about, that's the stuff to bring out in the first step and to bring out with your counselors and with your sponsor, because those are the things that fuel your relapse.

1:34:38 Adam Yeah.

1:34:39 Tammy Lynn Michaels Everybody else is feeling them too, babe.

1:34:41 Adam It's what I do in therapy. As a matter of fact, the topic...

1:34:43 Drew You don't say anything that shames you.

1:34:44 Adam How dare you? The topic of this Tuesday's therapy session will be, it looks like an all-New York World Series.

1:34:49 Drew Yeah. Exactly.

1:34:51 Tammy Lynn Michaels Yeah.

1:34:52 Drew I want you to talk about one shameful thing with your therapist this week. That's your... And how the hell he lets you... How dare you go to therapy and him get you... Let you get by without talking about anything important.

1:35:00 Adam All right. I'll tell you. Dr. Drew has a lot of issues with shame and... By the way, the way he acts, I'm ashamed of it. Would that work?

1:35:13 Drew Well, you may have shameful feelings about me.

1:35:15 Adam Yes, I do. We'll take a little break. We'll be back.

1:35:27 Caller Um, Loveline on 947 in our cage.

1:35:36 Adam All right, I'm going to thank Tammy Lynn Michaels for coming in here.

1:35:39 Tammy Lynn Michaels Thanks, you guys.

1:35:40 Adam Popular, everyone.

1:35:40 Tammy Lynn Michaels Your coffee was great.

1:35:42 Adam Thank you.

1:35:42 Tammy Lynn Michaels You're welcome.

1:35:43 Adam Nine o'clock, Friday. WB, everybody. Kim Coles will be in here tomorrow night. I think she's on the new Gina Davis sitcom. So she'll be in here talking about that.

1:35:56 Drew She was on Frasier too, for a while.

1:35:58 Adam She was on Frasier for a while. Kim Coles was?

1:36:00 Drew Yeah.

1:36:00 Adam Wasn't she talking about? Weren't we talking to Kim Coles about her? What were we talking to her about last time? The book?

1:36:06 Drew The book?

1:36:07 Adam Yeah.

1:36:07 Drew I haven't seen her in one since that, though.

1:36:09 Adam All right. Well, we'll get into her. She's a good guest. Tammy, thanks a heap.

1:36:13 Caller Thanks, you guys.

1:36:14 Adam Popular, everyone. And until next time, it's Adam Crawley for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. The gerbil I put in my ass is acting strangely.

1:36:22 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Sunday, October 15, 2000