Episode 1000754887303

0:52 Voiceover 10, 9, 8, 7, 6.

1:12 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:23 Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla.

1:25 Adam He is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 3108-54-4455. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Drew, what's up? Do you switch conditioners?

1:39 Drew Why?

1:39 Adam I don't know, your hair looks very powdery.

1:41 Drew Oh, I did a pilot all day today.

1:44 Adam Really?

1:44 Drew I have so much grease, I keep putting powder on, then grease, then powder, then grease.

1:47 Adam You had sex with a pilot? You're a pilot? Yeah, like 14 hours from a camera. Anything to get on a plane. All right, Drew, so you're doing a TV show without me?

1:56 Drew You bet.

1:57 Adam All right. How many TV shows?

1:58 Drew As quick as I can.

1:58 Adam How many TV shows you've done without me that have had any success?

2:02 Aren't you doing one, too?

2:03 Drew How about the ones I've done with you?

2:04 Adam Yeah, but mine are successful because I'm without Drew. His are unsuccessful because I'm without him.

2:08 You're the most successful together, though.

2:10 Adam Thank you.

2:11 Drew It may shock you, but maybe I could be teamed up with somebody else.

2:13 Adam No.

2:13 Drew And then be successful.

2:14 Adam No. Disaster.

2:16 Crazy Town Dr. Drew's our new DJ.

2:18 Adam Crazy Town is our guest tonight, Shifty. Don't call him Seth is here as well as Bret, the epic from Crazy Town. We will hear, I think what we'll do with Crazy Town because they're a relatively new band, but people should know the song Butterfly, is we'll play the song Butterfly. So everyone goes, oh yes, I know those guys. I like that song.

2:40 Crazy Town Killer.

2:40 Adam And then for the rest of the show, you guys will get the respect that you deserve.

2:43 Crazy Town All right.

2:44 Adam All right. So why don't we just play the Crazy Town song, play Butterfly right now. And then we'll get back, do a little interview, and take some calls. Come on baby. You good Anderson?

2:54 Bring it on.

6:18 Adam There you go. Now, poor Anderson doesn't play the applause sound effect anymore.

6:23 Crazy Town If you don't know, now you know.

6:25 Adam Yes, you can do that Anderson. You get a green light on that. That is a crazy town. The gift of the game is the gift of game, pardon me, is the name of the CD. We will take some calls. We don't have any dates to plug right now, do we?

6:38 Crazy Town Yeah, we do.

6:39 Adam Oh, we do?

6:40 We're doing Super Bowl Sunday, right?

6:43 Crazy Town At the Key Club for K-Rock.

6:45 It's a free show for K-Rock.

6:47 Adam Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Anything else around the country or in the Southern California we need to know about?

6:55 Crazy Town We're planning a wedding in Vegas. No.

6:58 We need people to call TRL.

7:00 Adam And request it.

7:01 And request it because we've been in near-miss for like five straight days and it's, you know.

7:06 Adam Oh, really? Well, we know Carson. I mean.

7:08 Well, yeah. Let's handle that. Okay.

7:10 Adam We're on it. Done and done. All right. Drew?

7:13 Yep.

7:13 Adam You ready? Is that your...

7:15 Drew That's my...

7:15 Adam You got work out there?

7:17 Helen?

7:18 Yes.

7:18 Adam You're 22?

7:20 Caller Yes.

7:20 What's up?

7:21 Caller Hello. A gentleman had told me that Time Life Magazine had been published an article that if you were to swallow the semen, that it would enlarge your boobs.

7:33 Drew Let's see. Time Life. Time Life. That has been published as Time Life in about 50 years.

7:37 Adam It hasn't?

7:38 Drew So that would have been a nice little article about 1947.

7:41 Adam What is it? Just Time or Life?

7:43 Drew What is it?

7:44 Adam What happened to Life Magazine? That's...

7:47 Drew Life's still around here.

7:49 Crazy Town If your boobs are big, you're allowed to swallow the semen.

7:51 Drew And Adam's been saying this for years.

7:53 Adam Yes.

7:54 Drew And still you haven't got anyone to believe this, have you?

7:56 Adam No. Just...

7:57 Caller I'll go with it, though.

7:59 Adam Yeah. Hey, Helen?

8:00 Caller Yes.

8:00 Caller We're backing that.

8:01 Adam Yeah. You want us to send over a little sample so you can do a little taste test?

8:05 Caller No, thank you.

8:06 Adam All right. Why? What's wrong with your boobs?

8:09 Caller Nothing.

8:10 Adam Well, when did you read this article? Or when did you hear about this article?

8:13 Drew Some guy told her.

8:14 Caller I actually have not seen it.

8:16 Drew Some guy told her.

8:17 Adam Nice.

8:17 Caller Some smooth guy. He had ulterior motives behind that story.

8:24 Caller All right. Well, thank you.

8:25 Adam Yeah. Hey, how is it going through life that way? I mean, the way you are, Alan. I guess we got our answer. Sometimes I just stop and think, what must it be like to go through life that way? You know what I mean?

8:40 Drew Believing everything.

8:40 Adam Well, just not only some guy tells you, but you're going to call a radio station, see if you can't suss it out.

8:47 Alan, Alan.

8:50 Hello?

8:50 Adam Yes, you're 15.

8:51 Caller What's up there, Squirrel?

8:52 First of all, I'd like to say, Adam, you're a god.

8:54 Adam Oh, thank you.

8:55 And Dr. Drew, I have great respect for you and for your doctoral business.

9:00 Crazy Town Yeah.

9:00 And Crazy Town.

9:01 Crazy Town Yeah.

9:02 You're a real man.

9:02 Caller Thank you, man.

9:03 Crazy Town Thank you. Thank you.

9:04 We appreciate it. That's good.

9:05 My question is, I've been having wet dreams literally like this entire week, and it's really freaking me out. I mean, I don't know what's going on.

9:13 I've never had them before, and all of a sudden, just...

9:15 Caller Sounds like you're having fun.

9:16 Drew You've never had them before, and then they turn on. Well, there you go.

9:19 Adam I'll tell you, I don't have them because I masturbate feverishly every night before I go to bed, but I'd pay a hundred bucks per wet dream now as an adult, as a working adult. I really would. I haven't had one in 15 years.

9:34 Drew You could skip one session and you'd have one.

9:36 Caller I remember that.

9:38 Adam If you could guarantee that, I would skip a session.

9:41 Drew You'd pay me a hundred bucks?

9:42 Adam You know, you'd pay me a hundred if I didn't have one. Or you'd just come over and have to finish me off. Whichever one you wanted to do.

9:51 Caller What are you dreaming about?

9:54 It can be everyday stuff. Sometimes it's something sexual, but other times it's just...

9:57 Crazy Town The same girl?...

9:58 going to the park playing with my dog. And you just nut?

10:01 Caller Nut all over yourself.

10:02 Yeah.

10:03 Adam And this is five nights in a row?

10:06 It's been the past three nights and before that it was about five after that. And I wake up nervous every night that there's going to be something down there.

10:12 Adam Who's doing the laundry?

10:14 Caller My mom, which I'm really worried about.

10:16 Adam You should.

10:17 Caller Yeah.

10:18 Crazy Town Just start bringing some food to bed with you and just tell her you spilled it.

10:21 Adam Yeah.

10:22 Caller That's what we do.

10:23 Adam Nice big cord of...

10:25 Caller Sticky situation.

10:26 Adam Pineapple kefir.

10:28 Crazy Town Well, are you enjoying it?

10:30 No. It's very nerve-racking.

10:32 I mean, I don't masturbate, so...

10:34 Adam Yeah. Well, why don't...

10:35 Caller That's what it means.

10:36 Adam You got God giving you a hand job as soon as you fall asleep. Why don't you take care of yourself before you go to bed?

10:41 Caller And then you'll be on empty for a minute.

10:43 Adam Right.

10:43 I'm very religious, so I can't have it.

10:45 Adam All right. Now, he's a jack-off. I don't believe him. I agree. I'll see you in hell, brother. Thank you. All right, you idiot. He's full of crap.

10:52 Drew Yep, I agree.

10:53 Adam You know why? Because biologically, you would not have a wet dream three nights in a row. You just wouldn't. I'd say almost impossible from a biological standpoint.

11:02 Drew Well...

11:02 Adam Secondly... Yeah, it's impossible.

11:05 Drew It's just unlikely. Some people are super hypersexual.

11:09 Adam I... Yes, go ahead.

11:10 Crazy Town Maybe twice. Well, you know...

11:11 Caller He's really religious.

11:12 Crazy Town If it was a recurring... If it was like the same girl in the same dream.

11:16 Adam Yeah. But you see, the whole thing about the sex dream, the wet dream is it's like a relief valve when too much pressure is built up.

11:25 So...

11:25 Adam It's a safety valve.

11:26 Right.

11:27 Adam It's when your nuts are going to explode, so you have to pass some pressure off in the night. But it just wouldn't work two nights in a row. I wish it would. Drew, do you seriously think I could have one if I backed off myself a little bit?

11:41 Drew The pace you're going, yeah. Your nuts might explode if you didn't.

11:44 Alright. Alright.

11:45 Adam I'm going to try that tonight. But like I said, I'm going to be over tomorrow night if nothing happens. James?

11:50 Yeah.

11:51 Adam You're 30.

11:52 Caller Yeah.

11:52 Adam What's up?

11:54 Caller I got this girlfriend and she's just like, I mean she's great looking, right? But she's just, she's at my work all the time. She's at my home all the time. She's just like all over me. And she's great looking. And I really don't want to turn her away.

12:16 Adam Yeah. You got to kill yourself, brother. You mean hot looking chick? Yeah.

12:21 Caller All over you, knocking down your door.

12:23 Adam Hey, I sympathize, man. I remember back when I had that.

12:27 Caller I never thought it would be like this, but she is like just the most aggressive woman you could ever imagine. She comes to my work and I'm a manager of my work, right? She comes to my work and just throws her something. She comes to the office and just takes everything off.

12:43 Adam Don't you mean freezer?

12:46 Freezer.

12:47 Caller You want us to take her off your hands?

12:50 Adam Where are you working, James?

12:53 Caller We are working at a retail store.

12:54 Adam I see.

12:55 Caller So it's kind of a very public place.

12:56 Adam We are going to a store that's retail?

12:58 Caller Yeah.

12:58 Adam Where you sell things?

13:00 Caller I see. It's a very public place.

13:03 Adam I see. All right. Why don't you tell her to just tone it down a little or she's not going to get any more penis.

13:08 Crazy Town How old is she?

13:08 Adam Threaten her.

13:09 Caller She's 28. She's a redhead.

13:11 Crazy Town 28?

13:12 Caller Yeah. Gorgeous. Drop that gorgeous.

13:15 Adam James?

13:16 Caller Yeah. All right.

13:17 Adam Forget it.

13:18 Caller Listen.

13:18 Caller There's worse problems in the world.

13:19 Caller Yeah.

13:21 Adam I'm not here to advise guys who are getting laid too much in their 30s. There's a problem. Well, my problem is I have to bang the bejesus out of her on my desk about three days a week. So I'm thinking of killing myself, what do you say? Listen, have a talk with her. If she can't figure out that your job may be important to you, then you've got to dump her no matter what she looks like. You know, it's funny about guys though. If a girl is really hot looking, it'll trump anything else. It's like she banged my dad and my cousin, my grandfather, and she tried to kill me. And she put sugar in my gas tank and she ate my dog. And she goose steps around like a Nazi youth, but she's hot.

14:05 Crazy Town Yeah, you never hear that with like, but she's a troll.

14:07 Adam But she's fat. What am I going to do? But she's missing teeth. No, it is so true. I mean, how much leeway does your average dorky guy cut a good-looking girl? And how short is the leash that's on the fat, ugly chick? Yeah, it's like, honey, I told you, take the shoes off before you get in the El Camino. That's it. It's over. It's over.

14:29 Crazy Town Yeah, you look for any reason.

14:30 Adam Get in the back, honey. No, no, I told you what. Get in the back. Don't give me December. Don't give me Iowa. Get in the back. You ride in the cold. You learn a lesson.

14:40 Crazy Town It's a dictatorship at that point.

14:41 Adam Right. That's right. You become a castrum instead of castrated, which is what happens when they're good looking. Carly? Carly?

14:50 Caller Hello?

14:51 Adam They're a little difficult to get through.

14:54 Crazy Town Cool name.

14:54 Caller What's up, Carly? Okay. Me and my boyfriend have been together for nine months, like on and off. The first month we were together, I cheated on him twice. I didn't tell him at first. I denied it and denied it, but it finally came out and I talked to him about it. I told him what happened. We have now been together for eight months. After the first month, like in the eight month period that we've been together now, I lost my virginity to him. He still does not trust me.

15:24 Drew What do you mean you cheated with two guys?

15:27 Caller Well, one guy, it was just a kiss. It happened and it was really nothing. Then the other guy, I ended up going down on him at a party. I told my boyfriend, I'm not cheating on him now, but he thinks that I am. I want to get through to him that I'm not and I don't know how.

15:45 Adam But don't you keep stressing that you're not currently cheating on him?

15:50 Caller Yes, I do. I just got a new job and he insists that there's guys at my work that I'm messing around with and he even came to work to see me one day. I work at a pharmacy with a bunch of older ladies. There's no way I'm cheating on him and I try to tell him that and he doesn't believe me.

16:06 Adam I see. But you got to understand, you did get off to a little bit of a shaky start.

16:11 Caller Yeah, we did.

16:12 Drew That was eight months ago.

16:13 Caller I mean, I really do love him with all my heart. I don't know why.

16:16 Drew Many relationships start out that way.

16:17 Adam All right. But has he paid you back for cheating?

16:20 Caller No. We've been separated this last week and he went to a dance club and he's like, yeah, I had a lot of fun or whatever. I tell him that I miss him all the time and he's like, well, I want to get over you, but I miss you.

16:35 Adam How old is he?

16:36 Caller He's 17 also.

16:37 Drew Oh, that energy.

16:38 Crazy Town It doesn't sound like he believes you.

16:40 Caller I don't know how to get through to him. I want him to trust me, but I don't know how to get him to trust me.

16:44 Adam All right. Here's what I think you have to do.

16:47 Crazy Town Tough love.

16:48 Adam We talk about this from time to time and I wish someone would have done it to me when I was 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, all the way to today. And you guys tell me if this sounds familiar. When you're young, especially 17, you got a ton of that energy. You're always looking through pictures, photos, who's this dude? Who's Johnny Boutinier? That was the 9th grade Sadie Hawkins. Yeah, yeah, what happened after the dance? He died in the car crash. Yeah, yeah, he's lucky he died. I'd kill him if I saw him. You know, it's like you have all this energy. And in the girls, what they usually do is they just backpedal, no, no, no, he didn't mean anything, no, I don't know, it's all about you. What you need to do is you need to get a little aggressive. You need to go, hey, listen. Shut up, I'm giving you a speech here. But that's good. You're assertive. You need to say, listen, I screwed up early and I'm sorry. But that was a mistake I made. It was a long time ago. I love you. I don't cheat on you. And you got to get over it because we got to move on.

17:48 Crazy Town Because if it keeps going the way it's going, it'll be really painful for both of you.

17:53 Adam If you keep going, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I love you, no, no. He's just going to keep steamrolling and spinning out of control.

18:00 Caller Like all my friends are like, you know, you have to get more aggressive. And like he swears that something happened to me when I was younger. Like the other day we were talking and he's like, you never like I don't. I'm not a strong person. I can't pick up for myself. And I've always had that problem. And he swears I was like molested or something. Like the other day he told me he was like, you never know. He was like, you never stick up for yourself. He was like, did something happen to you when you were younger? And I'm like, no, nothing happened to me. You know? Yeah. And he's like, you know, something happened. You can tell me. But nothing did.

18:29 Crazy Town And he's suspecting intimacy issues, I think.

18:31 Caller Like, he's heard of something wrong with me. Right. He's not. At all.

18:34 Caller Yeah. Maybe he wants to, you know, let you know something.

18:37 Adam Hey, Carly, why? Now I'm going to retract my last statement. Why are you fighting so hard for something that's sort of chaotic and a mess?

18:44 Caller I don't know. Like, I love him so much. And like, I lost my virginity to him. I think that's why.

18:48 Crazy Town That's what it is. That's it. You're comfortable and special. It's a special thing.

18:52 Caller I'm so comfortable around him. Like, I've never been this comfortable around a guy.

18:55 Drew Everyone has great pain giving up that first bond. That's one of the reasons it's important to wait that sexual activity.

19:01 Caller I should have waited and I always said I'm going to wait, I'm going to wait, but I thought he was a guy. I always tell him I love you, I'm not cheating on you, but he doesn't get it.

19:10 Drew Well, here's the thing, if you're 24 or under, it's not the guy. Right. It's not.

19:14 Adam Now, Carly, tell him as forcefully as you can that you love him and you're not cheating. And if you don't buy it, hang him out. That's it.

19:23 Caller And if he says, you know, I don't want to talk, like he's lately been telling me, I don't want to talk to you. I want to get over you. Like, don't call me.

19:28 Adam All right.

19:28 Drew Well, don't do it. Yeah, don't call.

19:31 Adam Don't. Listen, I don't know. I wish there was some pill I could give all our listeners, that first relationship you think's going on forever. It's so powerful. It's got its hooks in you. You keep thinking, you think the idea of never seeing this person again or never talking to them again is unbearable. Yeah. Now you get older and it's like...

19:51 Crazy Town What the hell was that? Why did I care so much?

19:53 Adam What was I thinking? Yeah, how do I get out? You know what I mean?

19:56 Drew You would have ended it years prior, within weeks as opposed to years.

20:01 Adam Yes, every relationship goes on about three times as long as it should when you're under...

20:06 Crazy Town And it could totally screw you up for the future if you don't get out of it, you know.

20:10 Adam Hey, how many people have killed themselves over this? How many of us have been in a situation where we were... If someone put a gun in your hand at the right time and told you, just go ahead and do it, you'll be in less pain. I may have done it at a time, maybe twice. Drew, can you kill yourself twice? You could. Heather?

20:28 Yeah?

20:28 Adam You're 16, what's up?

20:30 Caller Hi, I love you guys, I listen to you every night. Thanks. I have a question. When I masturbate, I fantasize about girls. I can only get off when I fantasize about girls.

20:43 And I can't when I'm thinking about guys, but in real life, I am totally attracted to guys, I go out with guys, and girls just aren't attracted to me in that way.

20:54 Caller Yeah.

20:54 Caller I was wondering what's up.

20:55 Crazy Town I think you should come here and we'll talk about it maybe.

20:57 Drew 16.

20:58 Caller 16.

20:59 Crazy Town Oh no, don't come here.

21:00 Caller Wait two years and then come here.

21:01 Adam Yeah, you have a younger sister you could send over? Yeah, you know, this is the beauty of women, guys could never ever do this. Never. Never would.

21:12 Crazy Town Yeah, it doesn't work.

21:13 Adam Really, chicks, but you're picturing a guy blowing another guy whacking off, yeah.

21:17 Caller Yeah, as long as you're getting off, I wouldn't worry about it.

21:20 Adam Come on, Barry, go down on it.

21:22 Drew You know what, in real life, you're attracted to men, and this is sort of a fantasy you have to evoke.

21:28 Adam Let me float a theory here. Speaking of floating stuff, boy, I had some great gas on the way over, Drew. Huge, epic, but novelty gas.

21:37 Drew It was novelty smelling or novelty sounding?

21:39 Adam Smelling and sounding, both. High scores by both judges. But Heather, here's what I think. I think for women, when a lot of them masturbate, it's like a little naughty. It has to do with being a little naughty, and the idea of thinking about women makes it a little naughtier. I'm getting some looks from the female peanut gallery out there. Is that true? A 16-year-old girl. When a 16-year-old girl-

22:04 Caller I'm not that young.

22:06 Adam I know, but I'm saying, when a man masturbates, it's mechanical, it's business.

22:12 Crazy Town Biological function.

22:13 Adam It's a biological mechanical event. For women, I think they go to a little naughtier place.

22:18 Crazy Town It becomes like erotica, fantasy.

22:21 Adam Yeah, so what guys do is guys masturbate in lieu of having sex. I mean, they would like, like women, ah, ah, here you go. Women will masturbate to a guy who they wouldn't have sex with. You know what I'm saying? You see the kind of retarded logic? That's why they're stupid. Women will masturbate to like some guy at an office who they know, but may be attracted to, but would never get in bed with. Where if a man masturbated to a woman, he would definitely be on that woman. He's only masturbating to her, because he can't be with her.

22:58 Crazy Town Right.

22:59 Adam Right.

23:00 Crazy Town And he's waiting for the opportunity. As soon as he gets a chance, he's in there.

23:03 Adam Obviously. So Heather, maybe this is a little naughty place kind of thing, and maybe two women going at it makes it just a little extra fantasy.

23:13 Probably, because I don't think I'm like a lesbian at all.

23:16 Adam No, no. We don't think you are.

23:17 Drew A lot of women like the...

23:19 Adam No, you're in good times, baby.

23:20 Caller And there's nothing wrong with being a lesbian.

23:21 Drew Yeah, but there's a lot of images of a lesbian out there, and a lot of women like the warmth and sort of intimacy portrayed in those interactions.

23:28 Adam Yeah. A lot of women like to keep the penis out of the masturbatory session.

23:32 Drew Well, it's also a way porn portrays the male-female interactions. It's very regressive.

23:38 Adam Yeah.

23:39 Drew I don't really like that.

23:40 Adam All right. They want it to be like a Calgon bath commercial.

23:42 Drew Yeah, exactly.

23:43 Adam Take me away.

23:44 Drew Yes. All right.

23:45 Adam Crazy Town is our guest tonight. We're going to take a little break. When we come back, we'll talk to more screwed up teens after this. It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew wants more coffee, everybody. Lincoln Park will be in here on Sunday night. Crazy Town is our guest tonight. Brent and Shifty are both here from the band.

24:47 Caller We love Lincoln Park.

24:48 Adam Do you? Yeah, we like them too.

24:50 Caller What's up, Chester?

24:51 Adam What's up, boys? They were in here 3 months ago, Drew? How long ago? When was Lincoln Park in here?

24:57 Drew I thought they hadn't been here.

24:58 Adam 6 months?

24:58 Drew We just saw them at the...

24:59 Adam Oh, I thought they were in here.

25:01 Drew We had them at the drive-in and we saw Lincoln Park.

25:03 Adam Oh, well, we saw them at the Acoustic Christmas. But you were saying, weren't you saying that we talked to those guys or something?

25:10 Drew We saw them and liked them. I remember that.

25:12 Adam All right. Oh, yeah. They are good friends of mine. They will be in on Sunday. Sarah.

25:18 Hi.

25:18 Adam All right. So you're 17.

25:20 Caller Yeah. Crazy Town, I love you guys. I saw you at the Palace. You guys are awesome. Thank you. I was calling because every time I get with a guy, I don't like to do anything to him. I don't like to touch him at all. I'm scared or something. I don't know. I don't return the favor.

25:39 Drew What's the favor he does to you?

25:42 Caller Well, I'm not a virgin. And I've had a guy go down on me before, but I won't do it to him. I'm like disgusted.

25:49 Drew Yeah. So the main thing...

25:50 Caller That's mean.

25:52 Drew But you do have sex.

25:55 Crazy Town Only to get him off your back, though, huh?

25:59 Caller I guess...

26:00 Caller Are you enjoying it?

26:02 Caller Not really.

26:03 Drew Is there something, any history we should know about here?

26:06 Caller Um, well, like my cousin lost me when I was younger, but...

26:11 Caller Okay, well, there you go.

26:12 Adam Did he have a penis?

26:14 Caller Yeah.

26:14 Caller Well, there you have it.

26:16 Adam How old were you?

26:17 Caller Um, I was like seven, I think.

26:21 Adam How old was he?

26:22 Caller Um, he's only a year or two older than me.

26:25 Adam Wow. And did he make you do things to him?

26:29 Caller No, he made me, like... He was trying... He, like, made me rub all over him, like... Like I was supposed to get something from it. You know?

26:38 Adam I see. But it's kind of interesting, because I would have assumed that he asked you to touch him or put your mouth on his peepee or something like that. And that's why he didn't want to do it now.

26:48 Caller It's more... It was more like him rubbing, like, touching me.

26:53 Crazy Town At that point, it's like, what's the difference?

26:55 Adam You know what? How many times did this happen?

26:59 Caller Um, I remember one time in particular, but I don't remember, like, a lot.

27:04 Adam Okay. And he was just a year and a half older.

27:06 Caller Yeah.

27:06 Adam And you're right.

27:07 Caller Do you think that is, relates to what your problem is with having fun with boys?

27:12 Caller Like, I don't know. Maybe. I guess.

27:15 Adam I well, it probably didn't help, but I don't think it has to be 100 percent of the problem. Another thing is you're 17. A lot of a lot of women are scared of penis.

27:26 Caller But I'm scared I wouldn't end up like 25.

27:28 Adam No, no, let me tell you something, Sarah. I really I think about a lot of girls I knew who were friends of mine when I was like 16, 17, who would wince at the thought of oral sex and who turned into like world class. Yeah.

27:42 Crazy Town At 25, they're like.

27:43 Adam 25, 26 years.

27:45 Caller You will get comfortable with your sexuality.

27:47 Adam Yeah. It's like they're practicing on the stick shift knob in a car.

27:51 Crazy Town It's like tolerance. You're going to build your tolerance.

27:53 Adam Yeah. It's like remember your first sip of beer, you thought it tasted bad. Exactly.

27:57 Caller Now, you're down in 40s.

28:00 Adam Yeah. While you're driving, like you're your grandfather at the airport.

28:03 Crazy Town Maybe if you start slow and instead of taking it all the way to the end.

28:09 Caller Exactly. Just like.

28:10 Drew No, no, no. The whole thing freaks her out.

28:13 Caller Right. Right.

28:14 Drew I don't see penis.

28:15 Adam Okay. But here's the deal. The cousin thing. I wouldn't. I mean, that's an issue.

28:20 Drew Set her up.

28:21 Adam But I don't think I don't think it's ruined.

28:22 Caller Maybe get get some.

28:23 Drew No, I think she needs to get.

28:25 Adam She needs to fall in love.

28:26 Drew She's a relationship.

28:27 Crazy Town Yeah.

28:28 Adam You fall in love with a guy.

28:29 Caller A really good guy that loves you.

28:31 Adam Nice guy in his 40s who's got his own ride.

28:36 Crazy Town Yeah.

28:36 Adam Yeah. Just find a guy fall in love and then you'll fall in love with everything that hangs off it. Once you love the man, you'll love the parts.

28:45 Caller Eventually, you'll find someone that you want to make feel good.

28:48 Adam Don't freak out. But you could put your hand down there.

28:52 Caller It ain't going to kill you. I do. Every time I try to pull away, I get pulled back.

28:58 I don't like it.

28:59 Drew That's not good.

29:01 Adam That's-

29:01 Drew That recreates the powerlessness he felt.

29:03 Adam Yeah. Find a guy you're in love with and have a good relationship.

29:06 Caller Don't just-

29:08 Caller I have trouble finding the right ones. I always find the ones that screw me over somehow. Yeah.

29:13 Caller Well, don't let them sleep with you then.

29:16 Caller I think that it's more than it is, and that's why I have sex with them, and then it ends up being not what I thought.

29:23 Drew Right.

29:24 Caller Sex is supposed to be like something that's beautiful.

29:27 Drew It should come-

29:28 Why don't you not do it?

29:30 Adam Between two paid adults, like and what?

29:32 Drew Let it come later in the relationship.

29:34 Crazy Town Right.

29:34 Drew Take quite a bit more time with these things.

29:36 Adam There you have it. Very sensible advice. Oh, boy.

29:40 Crazy Town Not to keep them around.

29:41 Hey, what's up, guys?

29:43 Adam You're 16.

29:44 Caller Yeah.

29:44 Adam What's up?

29:45 Caller Adam, you're a god.

29:47 Adam Yes, thank you.

29:47 Caller I remember you did my voicemail a couple of months ago.

29:50 Adam Oh, yes.

29:51 Caller Kabir. Hey.

29:52 Caller And this is directed to Crazy Town.

29:56 Caller Yeah.

29:56 Caller Guys, I'm a huge fan. I actually met you guys over at Not The Solid Night.

30:01 Crazy Town Where?

30:02 Caller Not The Solid Night, Lab 105.

30:04 Caller Oh, okay.

30:05 Caller Not The Solid Night.

30:05 Crazy Town Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

30:06 Adam Boy, he took the word Not So Silent Night and made it in Not So Silent Night.

30:12 Crazy Town Not So Silent Night.

30:13 Caller And I came up to you guys and like, I'm seeing you guys on Sunday. You gave me some stickers and stuff.

30:17 Crazy Town Cool.

30:18 Caller I don't remember. But anyway, okay, I have a question for you guys.

30:21 Adam You want them to leave an outgoing message on your machine?

30:23 Caller Hey, that'd be sweet.

30:24 Adam No, they're not going to do it.

30:26 Caller I want you to yell at me about the whole cell phone thing again.

30:29 Adam No. What is your question?

30:31 Caller Okay. I was wondering since like a lot of bands now have the rapper and rock singer thing. I was wondering like for the people like who just heard your song on the radio, I was wondering if you could tell people what separates you guys from bands like Linkin Park and 311 and Shovel and stuff.

30:47 Crazy Town Our album?

30:49 Caller Yeah. I know.

30:49 I've had your album since the return of Rock.

30:51 Adam Well, you tell us what's different about it.

30:53 Crazy Town Exactly.

30:54 Caller I think this is the natural progression of music and hip-hop and rock. It's more than that. It's something. We all have our own styles. There's a whole new breed of music.

31:08 Crazy Town You know what it's like? Nothing is truly original. Nothing comes out of the thin air. Everything comes from something else. The inspiration is much more than rap and rock. Right now, at the top of the charts, there's a lot of these bands and a lot of them are really, really great and have great albums. I think it's for the fans to decide what it is that separates us.

31:33 Caller Yeah, I think you guys are like... I've been a huge fan. I'm glad that you guys finally broke. I mean, it's been a while.

31:39 Caller So are we.

31:40 Caller Yeah. God, I've had your CD since you guys were toying with the Peppers and everything. And I was actually wondering why you guys were dropped off at the OzFest Tour.

31:53 Caller I, as Shifty, had some personal issues and, you know, I needed to check out for a while. We'd been on the road for a long time.

32:04 Crazy Town About eight months.

32:05 Caller About eight months, and I was going through some stuff with my drug problems and I was going through a break up and I had a lot of drama going on in my life so I needed to kind of...

32:18 Adam Well, I see you wanted to write a children's book.

32:20 Caller Right. So I came back to LA and started writing a children's book and, you know, got more focused. Got back on track, you know?

32:29 Adam Kabir? Yeah. We're going to talk about drugs for a second, all right? Okay. This is a grown up talk, all right? All right. Turn the radio on. Oh, yeah. Hey, I'll talk to you soon, Kabir. All right, Kabir, thanks. He's got to get himself a job with Rolling Stone. Kabir is cool. What makes your sound different than other contemporary bands? And 50 words or less.

32:48 Caller Thank you.

32:49 Adam Now, let's go back to Cal Jam, 1982. You want to talk about rehab, drugs, getting clean and all that good stuff? Are you all right with that?

33:00 Caller Yeah.

33:01 Crazy Town I think that's a good thing to talk about.

33:02 Adam What was your drug of choice?

33:04 Caller Mine was most likely cocaine, and among other things, but I think it's kind of like a family curse. My dad had a problem with cocaine. I have friends. Everyone's got their drug of choice, and I always ended up with a big pile of cocaine and a lot of issues.

33:26 Drew Was there a sexual addiction, too?

33:28 Caller A sexual addiction? I think I have one of those now. Like one addiction for another type thing.

33:37 Crazy Town But it's not as bad as the other.

33:39 Drew Well, it's harder to get at the stuff that generates that, though.

33:42 Caller Right. Maybe I'm just sober, so I'm noticing my sexual behavior a lot more.

33:49 Adam Yeah, that's what happens.

33:51 Crazy Town Yeah.

33:52 Drew Yeah. You remember it. You've done your fourth step yet?

33:56 Caller Yeah, I've done all 12 steps.

33:58 Drew How many months sober are you?

33:59 Caller I've been sober nine months three times. This time I went through the steps. If you look into the book, a lot of the originators of Alcoholics Anonymous, which I'm a member of, they went through the steps very quickly. I mean, you can go through the steps quickly. I've gone through them slowly, but I had never completed all 12. So, my sponsor thought it would be good to go through them all, and then now I went through them.

34:23 Drew Yeah, get going with that second four step.

34:26 Caller Oh, definitely.

34:26 Drew Yeah, because that's where some of the steps were.

34:28 Adam Why's he got to repeat the four step?

34:30 Caller Well, you got to do it, you know.

34:30 Drew Because he failed the first time.

34:32 Caller Exactly, and it's something also.

34:33 Crazy Town You got to be completely honest.

34:35 Drew You're in a different place. As you move away from drugs and alcohol, first of all, the availability of feelings, because your brain is healing. Secondly, you start growing and changing, and again, that gives you greater access to tolerate feelings.

34:47 Crazy Town Hindsight is 20-20.

34:48 Drew Right, and people gain through their connections with their peers, they start gaining a sense of trust that they can deal with the shame and power.

34:54 Caller But it's something also that people go through. I mean, there's people 15, 25, 30 years that are still doing them.

35:00 Drew Well, what, Ace Steps is daily inventory?

35:03 Caller Yeah, I do daily inventories. That's why I went through all 12, is so I could actually.

35:07 Crazy Town Isn't there a four-step like every couple of years for somebody who's been-

35:10 Drew Some people do that?

35:10 Crazy Town Yeah.

35:10 Drew Because you're a different place.

35:12 Adam All right, so you have nine months now?

35:15 Caller No, I have six months.

35:16 Adam Oh, you had nine twice. I would add those.

35:19 Caller I had nine, no, but you can't. See, it's all a growing process. But actually, yeah, I mean, I'm happier than I've ever been right now. So just for right now, I'm cool.

35:31 Adam Well, Drew, give me your number in case it's a tough night and you can call. You don't mind, do you?

35:36 Drew You can take that.

35:36 Adam Sure, give him that number, right?

35:38 Drew Yeah, I'm not in the air.

35:39 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, all right. Good times. All right. Crazy Town is our guest tonight. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Anthony is 15. We'll talk to him when we come back. His girlfriend has an ovarian cyst. The doctor says it may lead to cancer. Well, I don't want to talk about that.

35:54 Caller I think she'll be all right.

35:55 Crazy Town I heard that.

35:56 Adam She'll be fine. Let's see. We'll talk to him in a minute, but let's see. Steve wants to know how to tell if his girlfriend needs to shave her pubes. Oh, he wants to tell her to shave herself.

36:07 Crazy Town He should do it for her.

36:08 Caller Yeah. I back that one. I'm into that.

36:11 Adam We'll be back after this.

36:12 Caller Okay.

36:14 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

36:48 Caller Yeah, it is Loveline.

36:51 Caller That's a good song. Yellow.

36:52 Caller Coldplay.

36:53 Drew What a discussion we just had during the break.

36:55 Adam It's a little masturbation talk. Yes, the Loveline chatter never ends here.

36:59 Drew Again, the difference between men and women. And you got to chime in here, please. Come on. She was talking about what women do when they masturbate.

37:07 Adam Go ahead.

37:07 Drew Adam was asking about who they would think about, not think about, and said, I just thought your comment about women being stupid was a little off.

37:15 Adam I meant dumb.

37:16 Drew Okay, there you go. But he was talking about who people focus on when they're masturbating, and Adam's point was that men masturbate over women that they're interested in, in a target zone.

37:26 Caller Right, and he doesn't really know what women think about when they're masturbating.

37:30 Adam In lieu of actually being able to have sex with that particular woman you work with or that friend of your sister's, you'd just have sex with her alone at home.

37:39 Crazy Town Which is pretty close. I mean, it could take you, you know. You're cool with it when you're done. You're like, okay, I did that.

37:45 Drew And Ann said, I think that women don't necessarily have to have a picture of a man in their mind. They don't have to think about anybody.

37:52 Caller Yeah, I think it's more of an emotional thing. I think it's more of a relaxation, feeling good about yourself.

37:57 Drew That's how Adam and I feel good about ourselves. And then he's disgusted and humiliated. Right.

38:03 Caller Toxic shame.

38:04 Adam You feel good about yourself when you have a couple of gym socks thrown across your belly. Like railroad ties.

38:13 Crazy Town The bunk sock, we call it.

38:15 Drew Oh, God. Yeah, I'm feeling real good about myself. That's the first priority, isn't it?

38:19 Adam Well, you know, when women talk about having...

38:21 Drew That jumbo jug goes...

38:23 Adam Women talk about having an erotic dream.

38:25 Drew Yeah.

38:27 Adam They'll go, yeah, I had a really erotic dream. Maybe had an orgasm in their sleep. I don't know. I couldn't make out the guy said dark shadowy man, you know? And it was like, what? We know exactly who it is. Yeah.

38:41 Crazy Town What color lip gloss they were wearing, how much they were scratching our back.

38:45 Adam Who it was, exactly who it was.

38:47 Caller Do you need to picture a woman in order to get off?

38:50 Adam Yes. Yeah.

38:51 Crazy Town Really? Yes.

38:52 Adam Yeah. Otherwise, my balls will be like, what's this?

38:54 Crazy Town It's not vague.

38:55 Drew Why bother? It's not just off the feeling of actually the master. Why bother?

38:59 Crazy Town It's not love.

39:00 Caller No. Sometimes, it's several women.

39:02 Drew Yeah.

39:03 Caller Sometimes, you keep switching them up. If one's not working, you switch to another one.

39:06 Crazy Town It's the setup because you may be going out right after that to actually try to pick her up.

39:10 Drew So, not only do you have to, there's got to be an image.

39:14 Caller So, if you see a hot girl during the day, do you think, oh, tonight, that's who I'm going to picture with?

39:18 Drew Don't you hear him talk about that?

39:19 Caller I don't think it even comes up.

39:20 Drew You think he's kidding? I ignore him.

39:22 Caller It doesn't come up until you're actually in the act and then like weird girls throughout your week will pop up into your.

39:27 Adam Sometimes, you can get that deathbed life flashing before your eyes, which is really life flashing before your testicles kind of thing, that montage whack and then other times, it's more specific.

39:41 Drew How the hell do you get the montage while the porn's going in three different videos?

39:46 Adam Well, that's just the thing. I get the montage camping when I don't bring the generator.

39:50 Drew You do actually create a montage, but just photography and that.

39:53 Crazy Town Well, if you have a few different channels of pornos.

39:56 Adam Yeah, that's what picture in pictures for.

39:58 Crazy Town You know, you switch it up, you know.

40:00 Caller Yeah.

40:01 Drew But guys, these days, they have image. They don't even bother thinking about it anymore. They just create access to an image. Right.

40:08 Caller That's what that is.

40:09 Crazy Town And we'll rerun the same girl maybe three nights in a row.

40:13 Adam And it's always prompted. It can be prompted by something visual all the time. Like last night I got home, I turned on the TV, Wild on Jamaica was on E.

40:22 Crazy Town You're one of those guys.

40:23 Caller And that set it off right there.

40:24 Adam Just a bunch of chicks skin diving, you know, naked.

40:26 Crazy Town Aerobics.

40:27 Adam Yeah, and that was like, that was it. Well, time to go.

40:29 Caller The imagination can run wild.

40:31 Adam What imagination? Synchronized swimming. I got the E channel. Steve?

40:35 Yeah, what's up?

40:36 Adam You're 17.

40:37 Caller Yeah, I just like to say that I like the Man Show, Adam.

40:40 Adam What? Thank you.

40:41 Caller All right. I got this problem. It's kind of funny. All right, there's this girl that I met, right? I've been talking to her for a while and then started liking her. And then on New Year's Eve, like we finally got alone and started touching each other, whatever. And then I went down and I kind of felt something, you know, kind of froey.

41:02 Crazy Town On her or you?

41:03 Caller On her. On me, no. Right. And then like I was like, oh, whatever, I'll get past it, you know? And then so this past weekend, like we ended up having sex, right? And like I was like, oh, whatever. And then I got limp, right? And whoo, that that's, I just don't like that stuff.

41:20 Crazy Town Too much bush.

41:21 Caller To bloated it.

41:22 Caller I just wanted to ask how I can tell her to like trim it or shave it or something.

41:27 Caller Just tell her.

41:28 Crazy Town Do it yourself. Make it an erotic thing.

41:30 Caller Yeah. Like just tell her straight out, like shave it or something.

41:33 Crazy Town No, no, go in the shot. Make a game out of it. Like you do it. Like make it an erotic thing in itself. Between you two, maybe.

41:40 Adam Yeah.

41:41 Crazy Town If you have a steady hand.

41:42 Caller How old is she?

41:43 Caller She's 18.

41:44 Adam I see. And you say froey.

41:46 Caller Yeah, like it's covering the whole thing.

41:49 Crazy Town Very pubescent.

41:50 Caller Yeah, like nasty.

41:52 Adam I see. And how well do you know her? I mean, you guys, boyfriend and girlfriend?

41:57 Caller I've known her since like the beginning of summer.

41:59 Adam I see.

41:59 Crazy Town Is it stinky?

42:00 Caller No, no.

42:01 Crazy Town Well, you know, that's a good thing.

42:03 Adam Are you guys, would you say your boyfriend and girlfriend?

42:06 Caller Well, almost there. We're pretty close.

42:07 Caller So then, you know, you could set down a couple rules at the beginning of the relationship.

42:12 Caller Yeah.

42:12 Adam You know what it probably is? Probably her winter coat.

42:15 Caller That's what I was thinking.

42:16 Adam I mean, when women, women, come on.

42:18 Caller Yes, she will shed.

42:19 Adam You know, you're going out for the summer. You're going to be by the pool. You're going to go to barbecues. Take her to the beach.

42:25 Caller She'll already get a bikini.

42:28 Crazy Town She'll see what it's supposed to look like, maybe.

42:30 Adam Well, you got to take her. Where are you calling from?

42:32 Caller Covina.

42:33 Adam Yeah. You got to take her to Hawaii.

42:36 Caller Hawaii.

42:36 Adam Yeah, she'll definitely. You know what you do? Here's what you do. Oh, this is brilliant.

42:40 Crazy Town You know, in the 70s, they loved this. I don't understand, you know, like in the 70s, it was all about the huge bush.

42:47 Adam Sure.

42:48 Caller Her armpits aren't hairy though, right?

42:50 Adam Steve, here's the ploy. You ready? Tell her you went on a game show and you want to round trip airfare to Hawaii, hotel accommodations, everything, right? Tell her pack her bags, you're leaving a couple of days. She'll definitely shave. All right. Then tell her it fell through and you get to shave bush.

43:07 Drew Some 70 year olds haven't really.

43:09 Caller Yeah, she might not even know.

43:09 Crazy Town They don't know how. They don't know that.

43:11 Drew Yeah, they've managed hygiene yet.

43:13 Caller Steve, her birthday is tomorrow and I'm supposed to see her. I want to tell her before tomorrow.

43:16 Caller Buy her a razor.

43:18 Caller Buy her a mastic.

43:19 Adam Yeah, listen, listen. You know what you need to do? You need to take a shower with her.

43:23 Crazy Town Yeah, exactly.

43:24 Adam Yeah, because if you take a shower with her, you can easily just sort of shave her. Dovetail into the shaving thing.

43:30 Crazy Town Like, hey, you know, now that it's in front of my face, here's an idea.

43:36 Adam All right. Steve, see if you can get in the shower with her. I don't know. I mean, it's either that or give her the ether rag and do it while she's passed out.

43:44 Crazy Town You can do it like with a massage and then pamper her. So when she's not even paying attention, you just...

43:52 Adam No, no, that's horrible advice.

43:53 Drew Too much time on this.

43:54 Caller Let's go. All right.

43:55 Drew Enough about cutting public hair.

43:57 Adam All right. Steve, see if you can get her in the shower.

43:59 Caller It's your call.

44:00 Adam Or just be straight up.

44:02 Caller Good luck, brother.

44:02 Adam She'll be all right with it. Anthony? Yeah. You're 15.

44:06 Caller All right.

44:07 Adam So what's up?

44:08 Caller All right. First of all, Adam, I love the man show, man.

44:12 Caller It's the best.

44:13 Adam Wow. Thank you.

44:14 Caller Yeah. You should have more girls on the trampoline.

44:15 Drew Anthony, what's the question?

44:16 Adam Well, we got quite a... Oh, we got trampoline auditions, I think, this week on the man show.

44:20 Caller Nice.

44:20 Drew What's the question?

44:21 Caller Anyway, my girl, she's got like ovarian cysts and she's had them since the 8th grade and she just found out about them. And she went in like a couple of weeks ago and they said it looks like cancer, kind of. I mean, they got to take more tests or whatever, but it might be cancer. And she says that that will like run the risk of her not being able to have babies, you know?

44:49 Drew Well, she's got this all screwed up. I don't know what she heard, but that's not what was said. Okay, and that she may have polycystic ovarian disease and that may have an impact on fertility. She may also have more than one or one simple cyst that is indeed difficult to tell from cancer, but at her age, the probability of that being cancer would be extremely unlikely.

45:09 Adam All right, but Anthony, what do you want to know?

45:11 Caller Well, see, it's kind of scary because before, you know, when we used to have sex or whatever, you know, she was pretty persistent about, you know, wearing condoms and stuff like that. Now she's like, she's just not, I mean, it's like she wants to have a baby at our age. You know, I'm like, no.

45:27 Crazy Town Is she ever in pain?

45:30 Caller When? What do you mean?

45:31 Crazy Town When you're having sex.

45:33 Caller Um, just only the first time, you know.

45:35 Drew What is the treatment that she's going to undergo? Is she going to have a laparoscopy?

45:39 Caller Yeah, I think so.

45:41 Drew Anthony, if they were cancer, they'd be in now. Okay, so I don't know what she's up to.

45:47 Crazy Town I mean, isn't that a very common thing?

45:48 Caller She might not know exactly what's going on herself.

45:50 Drew She needs to get back and get these questions, like answer written down.

45:54 Caller Pray on it.

45:54 Adam But listen, a woman explaining to a man about what's wrong with the vaginas, like when the man explains to a woman what's up with the car.

46:01 Drew Yeah.

46:02 Adam She says, the alterator hoses. It's just like, then they try to regurgitate it to someone later on. It doesn't make any sense at all.

46:11 Drew It's like talking to the Simpsons dog.

46:13 Adam Yes.

46:13 Drew Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Anthony, blah, blah, blah.

46:17 Adam That's Charlie Brown's teacher. So, all right, here's the old Anthony. Put the condom back on. She can get pregnant. Don't buy into all this once they have a kid before they carve her out.

46:27 Crazy Town Keep the lube there too.

46:28 Adam Right. All right. Very sound advice for the 15-year-olds. We're going to take a little break. Crazy Town is with us tonight. We'll be back with Guy who's 16. His penis was bit on the tip by a mosquito. Now it's swollen. That's good times after this. All right. Hello.

46:46 Drew This is Loveline.

46:47 Caller 1800 Love, 191. Loveline will be right back.

47:20 Adam Yep, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Lincoln Park will be in here Sunday night. Crazy Town is here tonight. Brent and Shift, you're both here from Crazy Town. The Gift of Game is the name of the CD. We'll hear something else off of that CD. It is in stores as we speak.

47:41 Crazy Town You know what? It's not in a lot of stores I heard today.

47:44 Adam Really?

47:45 Crazy Town It's selling out.

47:46 Adam Well, that's good, right? It's great.

47:47 Caller It's like hotcakes.

47:48 Adam So, you think I'd get it off the Internet?

47:51 Crazy Town No, you just got to go to a different store.

47:53 Adam Well, I don't mean download it. I mean go to like Amazon or something.

47:57 Crazy Town Yeah, you could do that. But, you know, it takes too long.

48:01 Adam Yeah.

48:02 Drew Well, I want to hear it immediately.

48:03 Crazy Town Instant gratification.

48:05 Adam It is kind of true when you have a Jones to hear a certain CD or a certain song. You want to hear it now? Yeah. I ordered a set of opera CDs. You'll be glad to know.

48:16 Crazy Town Why?

48:16 Adam I was just drunk. I was up late. I was watching TV.

48:19 Drew Why did you ask me what you were?

48:20 Adam Like opera's greatest hits. And you know the thing that was really funny?

48:24 Crazy Town Opera's greatest hits. I didn't know there were any.

48:29 Adam I know them from the Bugs Bunny cartoon.

48:31 Crazy Town Right.

48:32 Adam You know, the Kill the Web, it killed the web, and all that. So I thought, I don't have a opera CD. I should have one. So I ordered it. And it was like, you're calling somewhere in Georgia. And the guy who answers the phone is just one of these $4 an hour guys. And he sounded like he was a 700-pound black man who just had a job answering the phone. I mean, he could have been answering the phone anywhere. But he had to pitch and he goes, you want to for an extra $12, you can get opera's greatest legends, including Verde and Pocini.

49:05 Crazy Town You can get the remix album.

49:06 Drew Yeah.

49:07 Adam It was like this guy who obviously knew less about opera than I did was give me the hard sell on a whole bunch of stuff that he'd never heard before and couldn't pronounce himself.

49:16 Drew I didn't know that people still bought records over the phone.

49:18 Caller I thought you used the web.

49:19 Adam I don't know the Amazon.

49:21 Drew That's bizarre.

49:22 Crazy Town There are records at the top of the charts that sell that way.

49:27 Drew But then Adam can't use the web. That's the point.

49:28 Adam Hold on. I hear we have one of the opera's brightest stars in the other room. Can we hear just a little tan of that Anderson?

49:37 Drew I'm gonna kill you.

49:38 Adam What's here? Who is this? What was that? Mario Panza?

50:00 Drew I really want to hear the whole thing.

50:02 Adam It's going to go for a while. Which of the three tenors is that?

50:04 Crazy Town That's our next single.

50:09 Adam Who could that be?

50:16 Crazy Town Is that you, Adam?

50:17 Adam That's Drew.

50:18 Crazy Town That's you, Drew?

50:19 Adam That is Dr. Drew.

50:21 Crazy Town You're like a canter.

50:26 Adam That's him yelling at his wife in Italian.

50:29 Caller Is that what you do in the pilot?

50:31 Adam Well, where's that from, Drew?

50:33 Drew Turn Ben Stine on.

50:34 Adam Really?

50:35 Drew Oh, Ben Stine loved that. All of a sudden, he was one of our big buddies.

50:38 Adam Now, was there a Steinway and a Candelabra in the whole thing?

50:42 Drew The whole thing.

50:42 Adam Were you wearing a tuxedo?

50:44 Drew No.

50:44 Adam I didn't know you could sing opera in a sweat jacket.

50:47 Drew Yeah.

50:48 Adam You should have worn a tux. Yeah. That's how you sing opera.

50:50 Crazy Town Tales.

50:52 Drew He makes you do push-ups on that show.

50:53 Adam Really?

50:54 Drew Yeah.

50:54 Caller You're wearing scrubs.

50:55 Adam I got to see that. Give me a copy of that. You did the whole song?

50:59 Drew No. I fooled him. I did part of it.

51:01 Adam Yeah.

51:01 Drew See, that's how I fooled Ben Stine.

51:03 Adam It was a 14-minute song. You did 9 minutes of it.

51:06 Drew Right.

51:07 Adam Big joke.

51:07 Crazy Town You're very good.

51:08 Drew Yeah.

51:08 Adam You can blow.

51:09 Crazy Town Yeah.

51:10 Adam That's solid, buddy.

51:10 Crazy Town You got some lungs.

51:11 Drew You thought you were going to humiliate me?

51:13 Adam No.

51:13 Drew You expected to humiliate me.

51:15 Caller We should do a track together.

51:16 Adam That's a talent. You guys should sample that.

51:18 Crazy Town No. We just want him to come into the studio.

51:21 Caller Come to the hotel with us.

51:22 Adam Guy?

51:23 Caller Who?

51:24 Crazy Town Uh-oh.

51:25 Caller Guy.

51:27 Adam Stone Guy?

51:28 Crazy Town Guy.

51:28 Adam You're 16?

51:30 Caller All right.

51:31 Adam Listen, we're going to hang up on you if you don't start getting interesting. My wiener hurts. My wiener.

51:36 Crazy Town All right. I love him.

51:40 Adam Let's talk to Tasha who's 18. Tasha?

51:43 Caller Hi.

51:44 Crazy Town Hey, Tasha.

51:45 Caller How are you?

51:47 Caller What's up?

51:49 Caller Not much. I just needed some advice about my boyfriend. He recently asked me to marry him and I'm not too sure if I want to do it, but I don't know how to tell him because I don't want to hurt him because it's like something that he really wants.

52:06 Caller How old is he? How old are you?

52:08 Caller 20.

52:09 Adam He's 20. You're 18. Why is he in such a hurry?

52:13 Caller I have no idea.

52:14 Crazy Town To lock her up.

52:15 Drew The obvious deal, Tasha, is the obvious answer, the obvious advice we're going to give you is don't do it.

52:20 Caller Tell him to hold that thought.

52:22 Drew I mean, how could you even consider getting into a relationship? No interest to get involved in it, just to prevent from hurting his feelings.

52:28 Crazy Town Doesn't that happen all the time, though?

52:29 Drew A lifetime commitment just to not hurt your boyfriend's feelings.

52:33 Caller Tell him you're incredibly flattered, and if you're supposed to get married, it will happen eventually. Exactly.

52:41 Caller Okay.

52:42 Adam Hey, wait a minute, Tasha. If we saw her really into him, you would get married.

52:46 Crazy Town You would, probably.

52:47 Caller I mean, we have a great relationship, but I'm saying I'm 18 years old. Yeah, you're not ready.

52:52 Crazy Town Exactly. You're right.

52:53 Caller You have a whole life in front of you.

52:55 Crazy Town That's what I know. You'll end up resenting him, hating him, and it'll be ugly.

52:58 Adam But Tasha, be honest. Are you not as into him as he's into you?

53:03 Caller Oh, no. I love him to death.

53:04 Adam You're very into him.

53:05 Caller She's just not ready to tie the knot.

53:06 Adam Okay. Well, you got nothing to hide. Yeah.

53:09 Caller And go with your gut feeling. If you're not ready, don't do it.

53:12 Adam And listen, you have the greatest excuse in the world. You're 18.

53:15 Crazy Town And if he loves you, he'll wait.

53:16 Caller Okay.

53:17 Adam Tell him you want to start and then finish college first.

53:20 Caller Okay.

53:20 Adam What are you doing now with your life?

53:22 Caller I'm working and I'm going to school and I'm getting ready to go to the Army.

53:27 Adam Oh, really? Yeah. Tell him after you kill your first foreigner, then you'll be ready for marriage.

53:35 Caller Okay.

53:35 Caller All right.

53:36 Adam Wait, you're going off. So he wants to marry you because you're going off to the Army.

53:40 Crazy Town Yeah, he's afraid that she's going to shack up with the infantry.

53:43 Adam He wants to move with you. Are you going out of town for basic training?

53:48 Caller Yeah.

53:48 Adam Where are you calling from?

53:50 Caller I'm calling from Albuquerque.

53:51 Adam And where are you going to?

53:54 Caller I'm not sure yet.

53:56 Adam They should have some sort of home schooling basic training, something you do over the Internet. Some computerized drill instructor yelling at you to drop and give him 20 or something so you don't have to leave your family and boyfriend in your hometown. Hey, Tasha, why the Army, baby? That sounds like a desperate move.

54:12 Crazy Town Yeah, I mean, why not the Marines?

54:14 Caller Yeah, Coast Guard.

54:16 Adam I mean, to me, you know, I know our enlisted folks hate it when I give this speech, but anybody I knew would join the Army, it was a last case scenario. It was that or prison. It was that or their uncle's sofa factory in Poughkeepsie.

54:29 Crazy Town It has to be an attractive option.

54:32 Adam Yeah, and this sounds like a last resort. What's up with your life?

54:37 Caller There's not really much going on, but, you know, I can't really stand the city I live in.

54:42 Crazy Town She lives in Albuquerque.

54:43 Caller She lives in Albuquerque. She wants to get out and see the world, get some benefits.

54:47 Crazy Town It's two years, you know.

54:48 Caller All right.

54:48 Adam So this guy's freaking out that you're leaving. What are the chances this relationship's going to survive when you're shipped off somewhere?

54:55 Crazy Town Not a chance, probably.

54:56 Adam You know what I'm saying? You're going to be in South Carolina. You're going to be corresponding with him?

55:03 Caller Probably not. Probably not too much.

55:06 Caller You go be all you can be.

55:08 Adam Don't get married, but let me just float my point here again.

55:11 Crazy Town Army of One.

55:12 Adam She ain't that into this dude. Yeah. It's not that she's so mature. It's that she ain't that into him.

55:18 Crazy Town It's probably the most she's ever been into anybody, maybe.

55:21 Caller Yeah, she probably truly cares about him, genuinely.

55:24 Adam I just said, what are you going to do when you go off when they ship you off for basic training? She's like, yeah, what am I going to do?

55:28 Crazy Town I'm not going to talk to him that much. If she was into him, she would...

55:32 Adam She ain't marrying him because she ain't into him. The reason she feels guilty about telling him no is not because she's 18, it's because she knows she's not into him.

55:39 Drew All right. She still has plenty of good excuses though.

55:43 Adam Jovette?

55:44 Caller Yeah.

55:44 Adam You're 24?

55:45 Caller Yep.

55:46 Caller Jovette?

55:46 Caller Good. What's up, Jovette?

55:48 Caller What are you wearing?

55:50 Caller Sweats actually right now.

55:52 Adam Jovette, it's like your dad was eating a sandwich and driving a car and said, Sloppy Joe Corvette. Jovette, Jovette. Yeah, that's what I'll name her. Jovette, it really sounds like a guy who just deals exclusively in Corvette parts.

56:06 Crazy Town I think it's a cool name, Adam.

56:07 Caller I like it.

56:08 Crazy Town I like it.

56:09 Caller Yeah, you do?

56:09 Crazy Town Yeah.

56:10 Caller We're bursting bubbles.

56:11 Crazy Town That's original.

56:13 Adam What's up there?

56:13 Caller Jovette. Oh, gosh. I don't know where to start. Okay. I have a one-year-old daughter. And all I've had for the past, oh, gosh. For as long as I remember, I'm just having problems with relationships. And I met this one guy, New Year's, and I've got together with him already a week. And I'm attracted to him physically. And he knows that, and he's attracted to me. But things have already happened twice. And tonight was the second time. And now he asked me how I feel about him. And, you know, I didn't know what to say.

57:02 Crazy Town You're concerned about your daughter, obviously.

57:05 Caller Yeah, I told him I was very, very forthright with him when it comes to my responsibilities, because I'm going to school to be an MA, a medical assistant. And I'm going to graduate in a month. And I'm trying to get my stuff together, you know, for me and my daughter and for her to be, you know, stabilized.

57:22 Caller And, you know, Where's the biological dad?

57:27 Caller He is around. You know, we've had some problems. I've had problems with that relationship, too.

57:35 Caller Yeah.

57:36 Adam Well, all right. So what's the question, though?

57:39 Caller The question is, I don't know. Well, when he asked me, you know, how I felt about him, I was repulsed by it, because so far, you know, you know, I enjoy, you know, I enjoy his company.

57:50 Drew What is the question?

57:52 Caller You know, the question is, I don't understand why I back away from these relationships when it's... Yeah.

57:57 Adam Well, maybe he's a nice guy.

57:59 Drew Right.

57:59 Caller You think?

58:00 Adam You're a little freaked out by the nice guys?

58:02 Caller Yeah.

58:03 Adam You like the dangerous guys, the troublemakers?

58:06 Caller See, I don't know. I mean, it just turned out later on, they turned out to be bad guys.

58:09 Drew Well, guess what? That's who they were to start with.

58:11 Adam They were bad all along. They just, you just didn't know it.

58:13 Drew You didn't see it.

58:14 Adam Or you turned them back.

58:15 Drew Well, anyone else could.

58:16 Caller But she's obviously been let down. She has a one-year-old kid.

58:18 Drew Yeah. No, no, no. Here's a guy who's not going to let her down, but she sure as hell is not going to get involved with him. Right. Right.

58:24 Crazy Town She doesn't ought to deal with it.

58:26 Adam What kind of guy is the father of your child?

58:28 Caller Okay. Well, he's the same age as me.

58:31 Drew What jail is he in?

58:33 Excuse me?

58:34 Adam Yes. Same age as you.

58:36 Caller Yeah. Same age as me. He's, I don't know. There was a lot of drama in that relationship because, you know, some of it was, you know, physical, mental. Yeah.

58:47 Adam He was abusive, right?

58:49 Caller Yeah. What kind of...

58:50 Crazy Town Why did he decide to have the baby?

58:52 Adam In his own way. In his own... Break a table leg over your back kind of way. Yeah. In his own way, he was physically abusive.

58:58 Crazy Town Why did you have the baby?

59:02 Caller It happened.

59:03 Adam I see.

59:03 Drew It just happened.

59:04 Adam Well, where's your dad?

59:06 Caller My dad? He lives on the other side. He lives in San Jose.

59:09 Adam Yeah. What kind of guy is he?

59:11 Caller A womanizer.

59:12 Adam Yeah. So he's an idiot. He's an alcoholic. Shocking. What a revelation. So he's an idiot. Your dad's an idiot. And you seek idiots on an unconscious level. I mean, you don't know it. That's what you're attracted to. What is attraction? You got this new guy. He's probably nice looking. He's a decent guy. You've been sitting around complaining for the last year. If I could just find a guy who would open the car door, shares feelings, cuddle me at night. Now you got a good guy and you're repulsed by the good guy.

59:39 Caller Right.

59:40 Adam Right. You see how you women are?

59:41 Caller Well, the dad was the same way. He would ask me, why don't you let me out and put in the door for you?

59:47 Adam Yeah, but there was a streak to him. There was a side. You knew it. You knew he was a dangerous guy. Yeah.

59:52 Drew This guy's flat out nice. Flat out good guy.

59:55 Crazy Town Yeah. As if when he was being nice, he was going against his nature or something for you.

1:00:00 Drew Right. You wanted to tame the bad guy. You were taming him, which is ridiculous.

1:00:03 Adam All right. Listen, Jovet.

1:00:04 Caller What's that?

1:00:05 Adam You're 24, your mom.

1:00:07 Caller Right.

1:00:07 Adam You got to grow up now. Yeah. You're not a little girl. You're not in high school. You're not dating around. You're not having kicks. You have a daughter. You bring a date. Listen, you listen to the show. You find out what dangerous guys do around your kids.

1:00:18 Drew Yeah.

1:00:19 Adam He'll pimp your daughter out. His son will have sex with her when she's two and a half. You understand? You got to grow up in a hurry.

1:00:28 Drew If you can't contain your behaviors, check out some Al-Anon because you need a little growth.

1:00:31 Adam You got to get a little help because of the world class a-hole your dad is and then you got to stop repeating the past by dating idiots and endangering your daughter.

1:00:40 Drew It's so bizarre that that part of the brain that creates attraction does not learn.

1:00:43 Crazy Town Need to break the chain.

1:00:45 Drew She knows intellectually, cognitively, she knows that there's a problem. Can't learn it.

1:00:49 Adam I don't like the nice guys not getting laid either. What kind of payment is that for being a decent guy?

1:00:55 Crazy Town Nice guys got to get a clue.

1:00:57 Adam I could talk to him and I could do a whole grease type transformation on him. Toughen him up.

1:01:03 Caller What does he need to do? Smack her around?

1:01:06 Adam He needs to start smoking, start drinking. No, here's what you do. Here's what women love. You get in the car, you start driving, you turn the radio on, you hear a song, you yell, damn, you hit the steering wheel, you shut the radio off and they go, what's the matter? And you go, I can't talk about it, man. And you go, I'm sorry, man. I need some space.

1:01:26 Crazy Town You know I have a problem talking about these things.

1:01:27 Adam Don't push me. And then they go, you can open up. He's a real one. Right. You can open up to me and you go, I wish I could, man. I wish I could talk to somebody, man, but I can't. And you're real pensive and you're a little bit angry and now they want to get through. What's up? What's wrong? How do I break through?

1:01:46 Crazy Town Yeah. That's what we work with Jovet.

1:01:49 Adam Right, right. Instead of Mr. Sweetheart. Jovet has to grow up and stay with a nice guy for the sake of her kid. Natalie, you're 19. How easy was it, by the way, from speaking to Jovet for about 10 seconds to realize her dad was a womanizing boozer, a guy who abandoned the family?

1:02:06 Drew Two sentences.

1:02:07 Adam Right.

1:02:08 Drew Seriously.

1:02:08 Adam And what kind of guy do you think her daughter's father is? And when her daughter gets to be Jovet's age and has to describe her father, how is she going to describe him?

1:02:18 Crazy Town It's funny.

1:02:19 Caller I like what Gio is in.

1:02:21 Crazy Town Yeah. It's funny that it repulsed her.

1:02:24 Drew Yeah.

1:02:25 Crazy Town Immediately.

1:02:25 Adam She actually used the word repulsed. And you know this poor guy had a bow tie and a ton of aquavelva on and he was trying to be Mr. Johnny on the spot. And then she was repulsed. Natalie?

1:02:37 Caller Yeah.

1:02:37 Caller Go ahead, baby.

1:02:39 Caller It's about my boyfriend. He's like obsessed with trying to get me to sleep with another girl. Obsessed with trying to have me have anal sex with him and use sex toys and all that. And I want to know what I should do about it.

1:02:51 Crazy Town What's wrong with that?

1:02:52 Adam You should marry him. Marry him.

1:02:54 Caller He sounds like a nice guy.

1:02:56 Drew Being with other women is bad. That's not what you want to do.

1:03:01 Adam Which are the things that he suggested do you want to do? Do you want to do any of those things?

1:03:08 Caller I told him I would maybe sleep with another girl for him.

1:03:12 Adam That's enough to keep him going for about 15, 20 years.

1:03:17 Caller That's why he's pushing the subject.

1:03:19 Crazy Town And believe me, he's thinking about it every night too.

1:03:21 Adam Telling your six-year-old, maybe we'll go to Disneyland. Yeah.

1:03:24 Drew It also means he's not into the relationship though.

1:03:27 Caller I'm sorry?

1:03:28 Drew It also means he's really not into the relationship.

1:03:30 Caller That's what I thought.

1:03:32 Caller I mean, he's a freak. You got yourself a freak on your hands.

1:03:35 Crazy Town And if that's what you want to do too, then it's all good.

1:03:40 Adam How serious are you about him?

1:03:42 Caller I'm in love with him, but...

1:03:44 Adam What's not to love? And how old is he?

1:03:47 Caller 22.

1:03:48 Adam And what's he do?

1:03:49 Caller He's like a janitor, I guess.

1:03:51 Adam I see. And boy, I love this one. She doesn't even try to sugarcoat it. He works at a school. You can usually distill it down to janitor. He has a job where he has a lot of keys. He has a lot of responsibility. But just janitor.

1:04:05 Caller All right.

1:04:06 Adam And so he's no genius, this guy, right?

1:04:10 Caller I don't know.

1:04:11 Adam Why do you reckon you're so in love with this guy?

1:04:14 Caller I don't know. Before we met, I mean, not before we met, but before we got together, it was just something about him that I don't know, like I just had to have, I don't know.

1:04:22 Adam That jumpsuit? No, he smelled of pine. All right. Hey, Natalie.

1:04:29 Caller I'm sure there's some cool janitors.

1:04:30 Adam Oh, there are. Listen, don't let him get you pregnant.

1:04:34 Caller All right.

1:04:34 Adam Schneider. Has he already gotten you pregnant?

1:04:36 Caller No.

1:04:37 Adam You sure?

1:04:37 Caller Yeah.

1:04:38 Adam You had an abortion?

1:04:39 Caller No, I haven't been pregnant.

1:04:40 Adam You are using birth control?

1:04:42 Caller Yes.

1:04:42 Adam Good. Don't let him get you pregnant and hang out. But I don't think you're going to marry this guy. And don't do anything you don't want to do.

1:04:51 Caller All right.

1:04:52 Adam And just tell him you don't. And if he breaks up with you because of that, then he's shown his colors.

1:04:56 Caller Don't get his hopes up by telling him maybe.

1:04:59 Adam All right.

1:04:59 Caller All right. Thanks.

1:05:00 Adam All right. I can just hear that conversation. Can you sleep with another chick? Maybe. All right. Well, how about, can you put something in your ass? I'll think about it. How about I cornhole you? Let me sleep on it. Sleep on it. No, no. I mean, let me think about it while I'm asleep. Okay. I will get back to you. That's a dynamite guy. And listen, guys, I don't know if you guys have ever had this experience, but sometimes you can talk women into doing stuff they don't want to do, but they resent you for the rest of their lives.

1:05:31 Crazy Town It ain't right.

1:05:33 Adam You'll be repaid for it.

1:05:34 Crazy Town If you want it, you got to find the girls that you know will do that ahead of time.

1:05:38 Adam Right, right. You can't talk them into it. The dirty, filthy whores. Mary? Mary?

1:05:45 Caller Yes.

1:05:46 Adam You're 28?

1:05:47 Caller Yes, I am.

1:05:48 Adam What's up?

1:05:49 Caller Hi. I had a question about climaxing. And I got married when I was 16 and I've been divorced for like three years, and I met a guy a few months ago.

1:05:59 Caller So you're almost 20?

1:06:01 Caller I'm 28.

1:06:03 Crazy Town Okay.

1:06:03 Caller And when I'm with him, within minutes, I'm flowing and it can last like all night long.

1:06:11 Crazy Town Congratulations.

1:06:12 Adam You say flowing, you mean your voices are flowing?

1:06:15 Caller Flowing.

1:06:16 Crazy Town You squirt, huh?

1:06:17 Drew What, what, what?

1:06:18 Caller Just totally out of control, wet through a few towels, the bed, everything.

1:06:24 Drew This is like you're ejaculating, female ejaculation?

1:06:26 Crazy Town Coming, yeah.

1:06:28 Caller And I wondered where it's coming from.

1:06:30 Drew This didn't happen with your partner, your former husband?

1:06:32 Caller No. I mean, I, towards the end, figured out how to finish myself off.

1:06:37 Crazy Town How many guys have you been with besides this one?

1:06:40 Caller Not a lot.

1:06:41 Adam I see. You got married at 16, huh?

1:06:43 Caller Yeah, on my birthday.

1:06:45 Adam Your 16th birthday?

1:06:47 Crazy Town That was a good decision.

1:06:48 Adam That's like, that's still 15.

1:06:50 Caller Yeah.

1:06:51 Adam How old was the guy?

1:06:52 Caller Um, like six years older than me.

1:06:55 Adam What's up with that?

1:06:56 Caller I needed to get out of my house, and...

1:06:58 Crazy Town Where are you from?

1:07:00 Caller I'm from the Central Coast.

1:07:02 Crazy Town Where's that?

1:07:03 Adam Central California.

1:07:05 Crazy Town Central Coastal what?

1:07:07 Caller California.

1:07:08 Adam Spain. Hey, uh, Mary?

1:07:11 Caller Yes?

1:07:11 Adam Well, you worked it out. You were with kind of a jerk at the beginning, right?

1:07:15 Caller Yeah.

1:07:15 Adam And you never really flipped your cookie.

1:07:17 Caller No.

1:07:18 Adam And so now you've been sort of saving up.

1:07:21 Caller Is that what it is?

1:07:22 Adam Well, how many orgasms do you think you're having?

1:07:25 Caller I can't even count them. I mean, it's continuous.

1:07:28 Crazy Town Did you ever have them before?

1:07:30 Caller No.

1:07:31 Drew So, isn't that wild?

1:07:33 Adam That is wild. And it just goes to show, by the way, like we were talking about earlier this evening, that for women, it's not a mechanical thing.

1:07:40 Drew No.

1:07:40 Adam I mean, I'm sure this guy who was... We know the guy who was 22 who married you when you turned 16 was a world-class idiot, I'm sure. I'm sure he was just on top of you, humping you like a robot, right? Yeah. You weren't into him emotionally from the first six months on, right?

1:07:58 Caller Probably.

1:07:59 Adam Right. So you shut down.

1:08:01 Caller Right.

1:08:01 Adam A guy would have had the best sex of his life with the female equivalent of that chick. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? We would have come 7,000 times in that 14-month period. We wouldn't have made a problem at all.

1:08:13 Caller Well, also, she was a lot younger, now she's getting older.

1:08:16 Adam Right. But emotionally, it wasn't there for her. I love when you talk to guys, you're like, what happened to Sheila? Oh man, she was crazy. She was not psycho, man. Bitch tried to kill me, best sex ever.

1:08:27 Crazy Town Yeah.

1:08:27 Adam She didn't speak a lick of English. She tried to kill me four times.

1:08:30 Crazy Town I think everybody should have one of those in their life.

1:08:33 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. High on drugs all the time.

1:08:35 Drew This is one of the more extreme shows.

1:08:36 Adam But hot.

1:08:37 Drew Where she was, she should be coming from shut down to multi-orgasmic. That's pretty amazing.

1:08:41 Adam Right. Her pendulum has swung. All right. We will take ourselves a little break. Crazy Town is here. We'll hear another song after new CD when we come back, and also we'll speak to who Drew fingered one of his friends. Katrina, who's a twin. Her breast implants and she get these sharp. She got pain in her new boobs. All right. After this.

1:09:06 Caller Okay. Um, back in a minute.

1:09:42 Adam Yep, it is Love Line, a man in pearl. He is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Lincoln Park in here on Sunday night. Crazy Town is here tonight. Brett and Shift, you're both here from the band. The Gift of Game is the name of the CD.

1:09:54 Crazy Town Now, I'm just Brett. I'm not the Epic anymore.

1:09:56 Adam Brett the Epic.

1:09:58 Caller Prashetta.

1:10:00 Adam I'll tell you, we'll take a call and then we'll hear another song from Crazy Town.

1:10:04 Caller How's about that?

1:10:05 Adam Who are we talking? Oh, up here? Yeah. Katrina? You're 21?

1:10:10 Caller Yes, I am.

1:10:10 Adam You have breast implants?

1:10:12 Caller Yes, I do.

1:10:12 Adam What size are you?

1:10:13 Caller I'm a full C.

1:10:15 Adam I see.

1:10:16 Crazy Town Where do you dance?

1:10:17 Caller I don't.

1:10:18 Adam You got fired?

1:10:19 Caller Never tried.

1:10:20 Adam I see.

1:10:20 Caller Well, they offer me money, but I just...

1:10:23 Crazy Town They offer...

1:10:25 Adam What size were you for the implants?

1:10:28 Caller Kind of like a small B.

1:10:30 Caller Uh-huh.

1:10:30 Adam And why did you get the implants? You're pretty young.

1:10:33 Caller Because I'm really tall and it just made me look so much prettier and feel a lot better.

1:10:38 Caller Okay.

1:10:38 Crazy Town True and actual cosmetic.

1:10:41 Caller Yeah, I look... And the doctor told me that it made me look a lot more perfect. Made my whole body just fit together. More perfect.

1:10:48 Caller I'm backing that.

1:10:49 Adam All right.

1:10:50 Caller Just fit together better. What's the question? Made me feel a lot better, but I've been having really bad chest pains.

1:10:55 Adam I'm thinking about getting a third nut to make my... No, not for the ladies. I wouldn't do it for myself. I feel better about myself.

1:11:02 Drew Balance you out.

1:11:03 Caller You'll feel superior.

1:11:05 Adam Yeah, more masculine. You're a man and a half.

1:11:08 Caller I got my implants last August.

1:11:10 Drew And were they above muscle, under muscle?

1:11:14 Caller They're behind the muscle. They're saline. I'm an NA, so I try to do it as safe as possible, but I've been having really bad chest pains, especially on the left side, which kind of scares me.

1:11:24 Drew Why?

1:11:24 Caller Because it's where your heart is, but I can feel it in between my heart.

1:11:27 Drew Katrina, at 21, you're not having a heart attack.

1:11:29 Caller Right, right. But it's just so sharp. You know, like if you have those just sharp pains.

1:11:33 Drew Cardiac pain, cardiac pains are not sharp. Okay.

1:11:36 Caller So what is it that I'm experiencing? Because I mean, it'll go for like, it'll last for like 15, 20 minutes. It'll just be really sore underneath my breath.

1:11:43 Drew Have you been sick or coughing or anything like that recently?

1:11:45 Crazy Town You smoke?

1:11:46 Caller I noticed.

1:11:47 Caller Jumping a lot?

1:11:47 Caller Not really a lot, but I noticed that it happens if I start breathing heavy or if just sometimes it'll just happen, but it happens before.

1:11:55 Crazy Town That's happened to me.

1:11:55 Drew Any change in your...

1:11:56 Caller Like if I'm sharp, like if I'm breathing heavy, then I think maybe the implants might be, is it that they're like adjusting and they're starting to like pull away from...

1:12:06 Drew Well, it's hard. I mean, you got to be careful to make sure they're not encapsulating, right? They teach you any of the ways to do that.

1:12:12 Caller I feel them.

1:12:13 Drew Yeah. And the other thing that you're describing...

1:12:15 Adam Well, they tell you to rub a penis in between them.

1:12:18 Caller Did you talk to the doctor that did these?

1:12:20 Adam Just a couple of months.

1:12:21 Caller I haven't talked to him about the chest.

1:12:22 Drew You're describing something called costochondritis, which is really just an inflammation of the muscles between the ribs.

1:12:27 Adam Right.

1:12:27 Drew And it is nothing to worry about, but it may have some implication with the breast implant. Nothing I can think of on hand.

1:12:33 Adam Well, go back and talk to the surgeon.

1:12:34 Drew Usually, it's a back injury or changing exercise pattern, that kind of thing.

1:12:38 Crazy Town I've had it.

1:12:38 Caller In front of your rib cage?

1:12:40 Caller Mine do that all the time.

1:12:41 Drew It's extremely common. It's costochondritis.

1:12:44 Caller I don't have to worry about my implant then.

1:12:46 Drew I can't say for sure, but probably not.

1:12:47 Caller Have newcomers rub them.

1:12:51 Adam What about these implants you get through your belly button now?

1:12:55 Crazy Town That's not right.

1:12:56 Caller I actually saw about it. I wouldn't want them to go all the way through my belly button.

1:13:01 Drew That's going to be probably above the muscle too.

1:13:03 Caller They do that. That's a trepidation.

1:13:04 Caller They went through the nipple. That's a lot safer and it's easier. You don't see scar lines or anything.

1:13:09 Adam All right, baby. You feel like more of a woman, right?

1:13:11 Caller Yeah. Well, thank you. So, I'm okay.

1:13:13 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:13:14 Caller Stand touch.

1:13:15 Caller Okay. Thank you.

1:13:15 Adam All right. Hey, do you have a nurse outfit?

1:13:18 Caller No.

1:13:19 Crazy Town Get one.

1:13:20 Adam Don't RAs have some kind of nurse outfit? RA?

1:13:23 Caller Yeah. I'm an NA.

1:13:24 Adam Oh, I mean, NA?

1:13:24 Caller Yes. Drugs.

1:13:26 Caller I mean, that's not too fun. Yeah.

1:13:27 Adam Hey, Drew, what are you guys doing with those nurses' outfits?

1:13:30 Drew What are we doing with them?

1:13:31 Adam Well, I mean, they're wearing baggy pants and sacks over the shoes now. What happened in the days when they were, you know-

1:13:37 Drew They were wearing little hats.

1:13:39 Adam Yeah, they're wearing this like nice white stockings. You know what I mean? The candy stripers, that kind of stuff.

1:13:44 Drew And they exist to prove.

1:13:45 Adam Yeah. What's happened? When did you get it back?

1:13:48 Drew Me personally.

1:13:49 Adam Well, you could spearhead some sort of doctors for hot nurses or doctors for shorter skirts or something. And when you're sick, that's the last thing you want. Some big-ass menopausal chick in there with a smock cleaning your pan out.

1:14:05 Caller Yeah.

1:14:05 Adam I mean, that's what you want to see on your deathbed. I'm just saying, I grew up thinking about nurses being candy strippers and being hot.

1:14:12 Caller Yeah.

1:14:13 Crazy Town They need to be hot and they need to take care of you when they sponge you down.

1:14:16 Caller You grew up watching-

1:14:16 Adam Benny Hill.

1:14:17 Caller Yeah. They're all taking care of my puppy right now.

1:14:19 Drew You grew up watching porn.

1:14:21 Adam That's true.

1:14:22 Crazy Town They need to be like penthouse slash nurse.

1:14:26 Caller Yeah.

1:14:26 Crazy Town Right.

1:14:27 Drew Let's hear a song.

1:14:28 Adam All right. We're going to do that. That is, oh, jeez, did I dump all this coffee on me? That's off of The Gift of Game, which is Crazy Town's CD.

1:14:36 Caller Wait, wait, wait. I got to say how to, I want to say how to Sam, Andrea, and Dylan.

1:14:43 Adam Okay?

1:14:44 Caller Andrea, Sam, and Dylan.

1:14:46 Adam Is that the cast of 90210?

1:14:47 Caller Yeah. Basically, something like that.

1:14:50 Crazy Town They're these midgets that won't stop following us around.

1:14:53 Drew That you juggle.

1:14:54 Crazy Town Yeah.

1:14:55 Adam All right. That's a very smooth segue.

1:14:57 Crazy Town Are we playing Dark Side?

1:14:58 Adam Yes. That was Dark Side from Crazy Town off of Gift of Game.

1:18:11 Crazy Town Thank you.

1:18:12 Adam Just talking about spinning class. It's just it. How it's a good way to meet chicks. Yeah. So you're saying me beating the crap out of my heavy bag in my garage is not a good way to meet chicks?

1:18:24 Crazy Town Not unless you invite them over and they show up.

1:18:28 Adam It's a good point. Sometimes old people walk their dogs. What's that?

1:18:32 Caller The trampoline.

1:18:33 Crazy Town Yeah, your TV show should help you.

1:18:35 Caller I mean, you got to pull some on the trampoline.

1:18:37 Adam One would think, yeah. Well, we did have trampoline auditions, and we did have a couple of.

1:18:42 Crazy Town Come to the firm with us tonight. We'll go have fun.

1:18:44 Adam Where is the firm?

1:18:45 Crazy Town On Wilshire.

1:18:46 Caller You want to go?

1:18:47 Drew What is it?

1:18:48 Crazy Town It's a club.

1:18:49 Caller It's a club.

1:18:50 Adam What do you do?

1:18:51 Crazy Town You dance, and you talk to honeys.

1:18:53 Drew Really?

1:18:54 Caller Honeys. Butterflies.

1:18:56 Adam Honeys are girls?

1:18:56 Caller Baby butterflies.

1:18:57 Drew Do the translating.

1:18:59 Caller Whatever you want to call it.

1:19:00 Adam Erin?

1:19:01 Yeah?

1:19:02 Adam You're 22?

1:19:03 Caller Yeah.

1:19:03 Caller What's up?

1:19:04 Caller Okay, well, it's kind of embarrassing, but...

1:19:07 Caller Just bring it on.

1:19:08 Caller I have a thing. Well, when me and my family are having sex, I can only get very interested in it if it's really rough. And I mean, I don't know why. I don't know what's going on with it.

1:19:22 Adam How rough does it have to get?

1:19:24 Caller Pretty rough.

1:19:27 Crazy Town Head banging the headboard?

1:19:31 Caller Like spanking and handcuffs and slapping around?

1:19:36 Caller I've done that before.

1:19:38 Crazy Town Or just really heavy pounding?

1:19:40 Caller Well, name calling, hair pulling.

1:19:43 Crazy Town Oh, the whole ball of wax.

1:19:44 Adam What's he calling you? What's a good one?

1:19:47 Caller Oh, that's great.

1:19:48 Adam What do you got, a two-year-old?

1:19:49 Caller So like S and M?

1:19:51 Caller I try to leave the room and I can't.

1:19:52 Adam I see. That's got to be healthy. She's in the next room with a crab and he's going, come on, come on, suck it for daddy. You bitch, come here.

1:20:00 Caller Yeah, don't expose the kid to that.

1:20:02 Caller Right now.

1:20:02 Adam That's great. Hey, Erin. Well, let's venture a guess. Was anyone ever rough with you growing up?

1:20:11 Caller I don't know. I don't remember a whole lot about my childhood.

1:20:14 Drew Why?

1:20:15 Adam That's a bad sign.

1:20:18 Drew Why?

1:20:18 Caller I don't know. I remember a few things. I remember that my mother left when I was about five years old to move to Missouri. She decided to become a prostitute. She later told me about that.

1:20:29 Adam Listen, let's not pass judgment on a woman with a dream here.

1:20:33 Drew She gets involved in extreme behavior.

1:20:35 Adam It's important to follow your muse in life.

1:20:37 Caller Well, yeah, but I didn't find out about that until later.

1:20:39 Crazy Town I mean, at least she just wasn't a slut.

1:20:42 Adam Right. That's right. All right. So, Aaron, things were a mess, right? Yeah.

1:20:50 Caller Yeah.

1:20:51 Adam And you were probably abused.

1:20:53 Drew Somewhere.

1:20:54 Adam It seems how you can't remember your child. That usually means something happened.

1:20:57 Caller I don't know.

1:20:57 Caller You're blocking it out.

1:20:59 Caller I know that since I was a little kid, I've masturbated a lot.

1:21:04 Caller Oh, boy.

1:21:04 Caller All right. Yeah.

1:21:07 Caller You know, I've always had a preoccupation with sex.

1:21:10 Caller Right.

1:21:10 Crazy Town Is that a sex addict?

1:21:12 Caller Well, let's see.

1:21:13 Caller When it comes to me and my husband or me and my fiance, it takes a lot for me to get interested in it.

1:21:20 Caller Do you like pain?

1:21:21 Caller Kind of.

1:21:23 Adam All right. Hey, Erin, first off, no more kids, right?

1:21:27 Caller No, I have my tubes tied.

1:21:29 Crazy Town Get tattoos.

1:21:29 Adam How many kids do you have?

1:21:30 Caller I have three.

1:21:31 Adam Oh, three. Where are they all with you?

1:21:35 Caller Yeah.

1:21:36 Adam What are their ages?

1:21:38 Caller Three, one and a half and five months.

1:21:40 Adam I see.

1:21:41 Crazy Town How close is their bedroom?

1:21:43 Caller Were they conceived in a violent manner?

1:21:46 Caller I don't think so. I mean, I don't know. For a while, for the past three years, I've had a lot of depression.

1:21:52 Adam Yeah. Yeah. You sound it.

1:21:54 Caller Yeah. My mother committed suicide three years ago. There's just been a whole bunch of different problems that keep happening.

1:22:03 Drew Are you dealing with that?

1:22:04 Caller I'm sorry, what?

1:22:05 Drew Are you dealing with that?

1:22:06 Caller Well, I'm in therapy.

1:22:07 Caller They are.

1:22:08 Caller I have a problem talking to my therapist about this.

1:22:10 Caller Well, I need to open up to your therapist.

1:22:12 Drew You want that?

1:22:13 Caller I'm afraid to.

1:22:15 Caller That's what therapists are for.

1:22:16 Caller Yeah, I know.

1:22:18 Adam Hey, Erin. I'm starting not to trust the guy you're going to marry. What's his story?

1:22:23 Caller Oh, he's great. He's really good with the kids. He doesn't like to do it very often. He doesn't like to get rough with me.

1:22:29 Caller Is he just doing it for you?

1:22:31 Caller I'm sorry, what?

1:22:32 Crazy Town Does he think you're a freak?

1:22:34 Caller Well, no. He'll do it because he knows how I do it. But he doesn't like to do it very often.

1:22:39 Crazy Town It's the equivalent of the girl...

1:22:40 Drew He doesn't like to have sex very often?

1:22:42 Caller No, he doesn't like to.

1:22:42 Caller He doesn't like to beat her up very often while they're having sex.

1:22:44 Crazy Town She's like, harder, harder, and he's like, oh, God.

1:22:48 Caller Well, he doesn't, you know, but sometimes it's like it's not enough.

1:22:51 Caller Right, because you're calling him out. What is he going to do?

1:22:54 Adam Does he work around metal?

1:22:56 Caller No. He works in the garage.

1:22:59 Adam Yeah, I got that. I got that garage vibe from him.

1:23:02 Crazy Town He's so intuitive.

1:23:04 Adam I know guys who work around metal. Hey, Erin. Okay, so here's the deal, baby. You know, your mom is a prostitute. God knows what kind of guy your dad was. You blocked out half your childhood. I'm sure there was some overt abuse there. Fine, you're in therapy. You're working it out. You know this rough stuff in the bedroom is just a manifestation of your past. You know it though, right?

1:23:25 Caller Well, I thought that.

1:23:26 Adam Okay, you got a guy who seems like a decent guy who's willing to... Is he the father of any of these kids?

1:23:32 Caller Yeah, he's the father of two of them.

1:23:33 Adam Two and a half?

1:23:34 Caller That's pretty good.

1:23:35 Adam Here's the deal, here's the deal. That's 66% That's pretty high.

1:23:39 Drew Almost there, almost home. But here's the deal, you've got to talk to therapists about this stuff. Do not worry, these feelings will not overwhelm you, they will not destroy anybody, but you're gonna have to talk about it to get better.

1:23:50 Adam But here's...

1:23:50 Caller Also another thing though that worries me too is because for some reason I'm always... I can't seem to have an orgasm unless it's through anal sex. And then after that, I feel... I don't... I feel filthy afterwards.

1:24:07 Adam Right.

1:24:07 Crazy Town After you have an orgasm?

1:24:08 Caller Ask him to pet your head and spoon you.

1:24:11 Adam You feel filthy, you should smell his penis. Yeah. Alright, listen. Erin, Alright, let me just say this because we gotta go to break. You got three kids. Lord knows you don't want them to go through what you went through or even one tenth of one percent of what you had in door as a child. Alright, your job is to get yourself fit and be super mommy. Whether you're having orgasms and anal sex and all that stuff, that's all minutia to be worked out between you, your husband and your therapist, okay? You work on getting out of this depression, getting your life good, feeling good about yourself and being a good mother to these children, alright?

1:24:48 Crazy Town Wouldn't that change maybe when she does that, what she wants for herself and what...

1:24:53 Drew We'll see.

1:24:54 Crazy Town Assuming if she could do that, assuming she could pull out of that.

1:24:59 Adam Not being depressed would be the greatest gift she could give to her kids, but someone who was abused, like we think she was abused growing up, some of that sexual stuff, that's just there. It's there.

1:25:10 Caller It's deep-rooted.

1:25:11 Adam All you do is manage it.

1:25:12 Crazy Town You're turning it off.

1:25:13 Adam And hope your kids can't hear you through the thin wall.

1:25:15 Crazy Town That's sad.

1:25:16 Caller Well, there is hope.

1:25:17 Adam Oh, there is. Yeah. For us, we're going out, right? All right, we'll take ourselves a break. We'll be back for Crazy Town after this. Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Crazy Town is our guest tonight. Brett and Shift, you're both here from the band. We, Drew, you all right there, buddy?

1:26:07 Drew I'm great.

1:26:08 Adam How you doing?

1:26:09 Caller Fine.

1:26:10 Adam I think if you, if we dim the lights alone, you tilt your chair back, probably catch some Zs.

1:26:15 Drew Okay.

1:26:15 Adam All right. You're gonna stay up for the show?

1:26:17 Caller I can join you.

1:26:18 Adam Oh, how dare you? Don't make me, you know, we get paid the same amount. Isn't that an outrage?

1:26:22 Crazy Town Not because we're boring.

1:26:24 Adam David? No, no, Drew. It's getting late. He's ramping up. Drew, David?

1:26:28 Caller Yeah.

1:26:29 Adam 13. What's up?

1:26:31 Caller Like, this friend of mine, she came over to my house about three weeks ago and I finger banged her and-

1:26:38 Adam Let me see.

1:26:39 Drew That rolls off his tongue.

1:26:40 Caller I called her in three weeks, but she doesn't really seem mad at me. I'm wondering what I should do if I should-

1:26:45 Drew How do you know she's not mad at you if you haven't spoken during three weeks?

1:26:48 Caller Well, she goes to my school, so.

1:26:50 Drew You see her.

1:26:51 Caller Yeah, she's like in my class.

1:26:52 Caller Why haven't you called her?

1:26:54 Caller I don't know. I just keep forgetting. I'm like mad at myself.

1:26:57 Crazy Town You talked to her in school?

1:26:58 Adam What do you mean?

1:26:59 Drew Hold on.

1:26:59 Adam You keep forgetting. You're calling the show, talking to us about it. At 13, you're not doing anything.

1:27:04 Drew Other than smoking pot, maybe.

1:27:05 Adam You smoking a lot of weed?

1:27:07 Caller No.

1:27:07 Adam Just a medium amount?

1:27:09 Caller No.

1:27:11 Drew Why do you forget then?

1:27:12 Caller I don't know.

1:27:13 Drew You don't want to call.

1:27:14 Crazy Town He doesn't want to call. He doesn't know what to say.

1:27:16 Adam Look, you're not into her, right?

1:27:18 Caller No, I'm into her.

1:27:19 Adam Hold on a second.

1:27:20 Crazy Town He's into her.

1:27:20 Caller You're into her?

1:27:21 Crazy Town He's gotta go the next step.

1:27:22 Caller What do you think she thinks right now? You finger-banged her and now you walked by her in the halls and haven't called her?

1:27:27 Caller I don't know. She doesn't seem mad at me. Okay. Maybe she likes it.

1:27:32 Adam Listen, David, in the Jewish faith, 13 means you're a man, right?

1:27:37 Caller No, I didn't know that.

1:27:38 Adam Okay. You're not Jewish? No. Shocking. Yeah, because no 13-year-old Jewish guy is getting a finger-bang in. He's gonna wait till it's like 26th birthday. Hey, Mom, I'm gonna finger-bang someone tomorrow. Is that okay?

1:27:48 Crazy Town No. Speak for yourself.

1:27:52 Adam Well, once in a while, there's the super Jew.

1:27:56 Crazy Town That's me.

1:27:56 Adam That's you. All right. I have my theory. I have my theory, which is there's either super Nevis Jew or super Commando Jew.

1:28:03 Crazy Town I'm Commando.

1:28:04 Adam You may be Commando Jew. No real in-between regular guy Jew. Same with Asians. Either super traditional Geisha Asian or super crazy guy with the lowered acura and the spiked hem. Not medium Asian guy. It's one or the other. Both novelties, by the way. Okay, so David, listen, you screwball. You like this chick. You finger-bang her.

1:28:27 Drew You call her.

1:28:27 Adam You call her up.

1:28:28 Caller Call her up.

1:28:29 Adam And don't give us this crap about keep forgetting.

1:28:31 Caller Take it to the next level.

1:28:33 Adam I don't understand. You just want to advertise? Up the aunties.

1:28:36 Crazy Town She will come through.

1:28:37 Caller Up the panties.

1:28:38 Adam That's right.

1:28:39 Caller All right, goofball.

1:28:41 Adam Bye. Shut up. This guy's an idiot. I think it was bogus or he's just a jerk off.

1:28:46 Caller I even heard finger banging in a-

1:28:48 Adam You got to come in here. It's great.

1:28:50 Crazy Town Can I say SOB?

1:28:51 Caller Yeah.

1:28:51 Crazy Town Son of a bitch.

1:28:53 Adam Mary?

1:28:53 Caller Uh-huh.

1:28:54 Adam You're 18?

1:28:55 Caller Yep.

1:28:56 Adam What's up?

1:28:58 Caller I feel like I'm turning into a slut and I don't know what to do about it.

1:29:01 Caller Yeah.

1:29:02 Caller Go with it.

1:29:03 Drew What does that mean?

1:29:03 Caller Slow down.

1:29:05 Caller Well, I don't ever think that I'm going to have sex and then just suddenly, I basically just do and then I feel bad afterwards and I don't really like it. And I just, I always am feigning for it then though. I feel like I always want it but I don't know. I don't really want it.

1:29:23 Adam You have a boyfriend?

1:29:24 Caller Uh-uh.

1:29:25 Adam How many guys have you been with in the last year?

1:29:29 Caller I've only started having sex since March and I've had sex with six different men.

1:29:34 Adam Since March?

1:29:35 Crazy Town Since March.

1:29:36 Caller Since March.

1:29:37 Caller It's nothing.

1:29:39 Drew You roll along a little there.

1:29:41 Caller Well, in the past two months, I've had sex with three different men.

1:29:43 Crazy Town That's not bad.

1:29:44 Drew That's not bad.

1:29:45 Caller You're just, you know, being the other one.

1:29:46 Drew It sounds like you're having some feelings that you don't know how to manage and they become sexualized and you sort of, what you call, fiend for it. That suggests you're using sex as a way of managing your feelings. So what's been happening?

1:29:57 Adam Yeah. Why don't you take a spinning class instead?

1:29:59 Drew Yeah. Actually, that's right. What's been happening? Depressed?

1:30:07 Caller I'm just confused about a lot of stuff, basically.

1:30:09 Drew What's been happening?

1:30:14 Caller Not a lot.

1:30:15 Crazy Town Doesn't sound that way.

1:30:17 Adam This is what you call captivating radio.

1:30:19 Caller Yeah.

1:30:20 Adam Hey, Mary, let's either come clean and tell us some problems you're having or we'll hang up on you. What do you say?

1:30:26 Caller Okay.

1:30:27 Adam What's one?

1:30:27 Crazy Town We don't know what you look like.

1:30:28 Adam What's going on? What's going on in the background?

1:30:33 Crazy Town Break it down. That's the problem.

1:30:34 Caller Be honest.

1:30:35 Adam Is that your dad?

1:30:36 Caller Yeah.

1:30:36 Crazy Town Oh, she's smothered.

1:30:38 Adam When are you getting out of the house?

1:30:41 Caller As soon as I get enough money.

1:30:43 Crazy Town That's when you have sex.

1:30:44 Adam Is that stepdad or real dad? Okay. Mary?

1:30:50 Drew Here it comes.

1:30:52 Caller I'm busy. I'll talk to him after I get off the phone.

1:30:55 Crazy Town That's real. This is real life.

1:30:57 Caller Wow.

1:30:59 Adam Mary, who are you going to talk to when you get off the phone?

1:31:01 Caller My dad.

1:31:02 Adam I see.

1:31:03 Drew Real dad or stepdad?

1:31:04 Caller My real dad.

1:31:04 Adam Is he coming down on you?

1:31:06 Caller Um, I don't think so.

1:31:08 Crazy Town Does he lay his hands on you?

1:31:09 Caller No.

1:31:10 Adam You guys not get along very well?

1:31:12 Caller Sometimes we do. Sometimes we don't. Um, we're really a big open family, so he knows a lot about what's going on usually.

1:31:19 Adam Oh, boy.

1:31:20 Caller So you lost your virginity and then you slept with six guys. Three of them were consecutive in the last month.

1:31:26 Adam Why does your dad know about this, by the way?

1:31:28 Caller He talked to your dad about this stuff?

1:31:29 Crazy Town Yeah, that's pretty...

1:31:31 Caller He doesn't actually know about everything.

1:31:33 Crazy Town He knows there's a boyfriend. There's boyfriends.

1:31:36 Caller He knows a lot of boys are climbing the moon.

1:31:37 Crazy Town Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1:31:38 Drew He knows what?

1:31:38 Caller He knows that I've had sex. He just doesn't know how much or... All right.

1:31:42 Adam What time is it where you're calling from?

1:31:45 Caller 11.

1:31:45 Drew It's here.

1:31:46 Adam Oh, it's early? Is it earlier?

1:31:49 Drew Yeah, it's out towards... You're in Alaska.

1:31:51 Adam Right. Oh, okay. All right. Hey, sweet pea, did you save up that money and get out of house?

1:31:58 Drew Get out of Alaska. Get away from Alaska.

1:32:00 Adam You have friends?

1:32:00 Drew A little south.

1:32:01 Adam You have female friends?

1:32:03 Caller Yeah.

1:32:03 Adam You do?

1:32:04 Caller I have one female friend.

1:32:05 Adam How about you get some friends?

1:32:07 Crazy Town Do you know any Eskimos?

1:32:08 Drew Hang out with some friends. Yeah, I do. Hang out with people who care about you.

1:32:11 Adam Listen, I mean, I really mean it because you sound lonely and it sounds like you're spending too much time at home.

1:32:15 Crazy Town Come LA.

1:32:16 Caller Well, yeah, there's more to it, though.

1:32:18 Drew Yeah, we figured.

1:32:19 Adam Yeah. All right. So listen, Mary.

1:32:21 Drew Deal with that stuff.

1:32:22 Adam You don't like the way you feel when you're acting out.

1:32:25 Drew No.

1:32:25 Adam So stop it. Okay?

1:32:27 Drew Deal with the feelings more productively. Get some friends. Address the feelings.

1:32:32 Caller I end up getting friends that use me, though.

1:32:34 Adam Okay. Well, find friends that don't use you or just don't give anyone anything like me.

1:32:39 Caller Okay.

1:32:39 Adam All right, baby. Listen, hey, you're 18. Come on. How bad could it be?

1:32:43 Caller Yeah.

1:32:44 Adam What's going on? You know what I mean? You can't find any friends. Your dad's coming down and you're having meaningless sex.

1:32:48 Caller It's six guys.

1:32:49 Crazy Town I mean, she's living in Alaska.

1:32:50 Adam Let's go.

1:32:51 Caller It's not like too late to turn back.

1:32:53 Adam Start enjoying yourself.

1:32:54 Drew Yeah, 18 sucks.

1:32:55 Adam Listen, get yourself one of those opera CDs and really start living life.

1:32:58 Crazy Town That's what I say.

1:32:59 Adam Yeah. I wake up every morning, I pound my chest, I fling open the curtains, I yell Abundanza. Then I open the front door and I yell, look out world, I'm coming. Then I go whack off.

1:33:10 Crazy Town Right.

1:33:10 Drew Or actually coming.

1:33:10 Adam Yeah. I don't mean coming outside. I mean, on to my hamper. That's what I mean.

1:33:16 Crazy Town Into the sock.

1:33:17 Adam Yeah. Into the sock. Yes. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back after this.

1:33:24 Caller Love Line with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:33:26 Caller 1-800-LOVE-1-71.

1:33:56 Crazy Town Here we are now, just going to the south side.

1:33:59 Adam All right. I want to thank Crazy Town for coming in here. Everyone go out and get The Gift of Game. It may be sold out, and you may have to physically wait there at the store until a new shipment arrives and go out and get it.

1:34:11 Crazy Town Don't hate the player, hate the game.

1:34:13 Adam That's right. All right. And I want to thank Lauren for doing a great job on coffee and phones. Oh, yeah.

1:34:20 Crazy Town She rocks.

1:34:21 Adam The producer, Ann, for rubbing her feminine stink on the show. And the man who's getting bored but still getting the same paycheck back there, Engineer Anderson, everyone, for doing a fabulous job, doing nothing all week. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:37 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the day. The staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, January 18, 2001