Episode 1000754887194

1:02 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, coast to coast.

1:14 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. I'm Adam Pristine Penis Corolla, by the way.

1:20 Drew Indeed, you are.

1:21 Voiceover And that is again Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight we have John and Daron from System of a Down. I think John I ran into in the parking lot of the Arrowhead Pond, I think, about six months ago.

1:47 System of a Down You have a very good memory.

1:48 Adam Right?

1:49 System of a Down Yeah.

1:49 Adam And then I went to your house a few months before that to pick up the porn.

1:54 Drew I was going to say, there's a reason the memory is so astounding.

1:57 Adam Well let me tell you, and I don't remember a lot of people on... Oh, yes.

2:02 Drew Yeah.

2:04 They put the song on.

2:06 System of a Down He knows how to please in every detail.

2:12 Adam I know all the words now.

2:14 System of a Down He can do more than you'd ever imagine, and do it with style. He does it with me.

2:23 System of a Down That's the next intro.

2:23 System of a Down Oh yes he does.

2:25 My headphones are too loud for anything.

2:27 Adam You guys should cover this one.

2:29 System of a Down We have. We cover the other theme.

2:31 The other theme.

2:32 Adam But this one. Oh, you got coming and going.

2:36 System of a Down She's on fire.

2:36 System of a Down But you don't.

2:37 System of a Down Which one we do when she gets together with the daddy? Yeah, that's the one we do.

2:43 System of a Down Feels what he wants you to see and then shows it all. And when he does, he satisfies me.

2:53 System of a Down You're just trying to show off now, dude. It's like a...

3:03 System of a Down He's on key on that one.

3:04 System of a Down We'll see you on that one. Yes.

3:10 Adam Thank you.

3:10 Drew He just wants you to know how you've influenced his life.

3:12 System of a Down I know. I know. You know, it's funny because it only took us a minute to get right to porn.

3:16 Adam Yeah.

3:17 System of a Down Porn music.

3:18 Adam Well, last time System of a Down was on the show, we found out, and I don't know how, but we somehow serendipitously stumbled on to the fact that Taboo 2 was one of my favorite all time porn movies and same with the band, right?

3:31 System of a Down Definitely.

3:31 System of a Down One of my favorite movies.

3:33 Yeah.

3:34 System of a Down That's a very good point.

3:36 Adam Forget porn.

3:38 Drew Forget Citizen Kane.

3:39 Adam Yeah. That ain't a movie. That's a film.

3:41 System of a Down Godfather is nothing.

3:42 Adam That's right. All right. So why don't you guys, I know you're going into the studio and we'll hear some stuff off the System of a Down CD, which is currently out, but you want to talk about some website stuff.

3:56 System of a Down We do.

3:56 Adam That's what I heard.

3:58 System of a Down Okay.

3:58 System of a Down I don't have a computer.

3:59 System of a Down Yeah. Well, you're talking to the two wrong guys. Oh, really?

4:02 System of a Down We want to talk about porn. We're just here to talk about porn.

4:06 System of a Down We do have a website. It's www.systemofadown.com.

4:10 Adam Okay.

4:10 System of a Down And that's what you'll hear if you call.

4:12 Adam That's about all you know. Yeah. And what's going on this summer? Where are you going out?

4:17 System of a Down Well, we just got off a tour of the summer sanitarium with Metallica, Korn, Kid Rock, Power Man.

4:23 Adam How was that?

4:24 System of a Down It was awesome.

4:25 System of a Down Interesting.

4:26 System of a Down He became a member of Metallica for a little while there.

4:28 System of a Down Yeah, for three days.

4:29 Adam What happened?

4:30 System of a Down James Hadfield heard his back, so I ended up filling in on some songs.

4:35 Adam Oh, really?

4:36 System of a Down Yeah, it was pretty cool. Pretty cool.

4:37 Adam That is pretty cool.

4:39 System of a Down Yeah. I played Master Puppet, Sanitarium, and won.

4:42 Drew Is this stuff you knew already?

4:44 System of a Down Yeah. I grew up playing those songs.

4:47 Adam So, I mean, you knew the licks already?

4:50 Drew Yeah. You grew up playing those songs. Was that like a dream come true, then, to stand up and...

4:53 System of a Down Well, they were my first concert, I think that.

4:55 Drew Well, hang on here.

4:57 Adam Is this my con? There you go. The first concert you went to was Metallica?

5:01 System of a Down Yeah, in the cheap seats. So, I just kept thinking about the guy in the cheap seats. Yeah, that was me.

5:06 Adam So, now you're fast forward how many years from that Metallica concert?

5:11 System of a Down About 11 years.

5:13 Adam And now you're on stage with Metallica, playing a song that you heard when you were in the audience in the cheap seats in front of 25,000 people.

5:20 System of a Down Pretty weird.

5:22 Adam Wow.

5:23 System of a Down Just because James Hadfield heard himself.

5:25 Adam Wow. Now, he heard himself so he could only play certain songs or he had to sit out the whole thing?

5:33 System of a Down No, he was gone. Like Kid Rock came and sang one along with me. That was pretty surreal.

5:39 System of a Down Yeah, our singer went up and did like a song. And they turned it into like a cool jam so that the audience wouldn't just go home disappointed.

5:45 System of a Down Right.

5:45 System of a Down Which is kind of cool. You know, you're talking about 50, 60,000 people in the audience. They came to see, of course, all the bands, but Metallica is the headliner of the show. And instead of canceling, they just played. And they promised to return, you know, make up the dates as soon as possible. Wow. It's pretty cool.

6:01 System of a Down Got to fly on their own little private jet, Metallica. Got to be a rock star for a day, man.

6:07 System of a Down The rest of us were suffering the 20-hour drive.

6:09 System of a Down Those guys get treated like presidents, man. There's like presidents that don't get treated like Metallica, like police escorts in Kentucky that...

6:16 Adam They got a lot more money than the president. Jesus, that's great. Drew, for you, that'd be like if...

6:23 Drew Barry Manilow.

6:23 Adam Barry Manilow went down. No, I was trying to think of the fat Jewish guy from Fiddler on the Roof, Fievel, Finkle, Fievel, Fievel, Finkle, Stain, Tevye, Topal. Topal, Fievel, like went down and you had to step in and do a whole Fiddler on the Roof on Broadway.

6:41 System of a Down I'd be able to...

6:42 System of a Down Fievel's a rich man.

6:42 System of a Down I'd also be able to cover for Mr. Rogers. I know all his theme songs.

6:46 Adam Jan, Jan, oh Jesus Christ.

6:51 System of a Down We got a sleeper?

6:52 Hello?

6:52 Adam Yep, Jan, you're 15. What's up?

6:54 Caller Oh, it's John.

6:56 Drew John, all right.

6:57 Adam It's John?

6:58 Caller Yeah.

6:58 Adam Oh, okay.

6:59 Caller All right, first of all, System of a Down, you guys are awesome.

7:02 System of a Down Thank you.

7:03 Caller And Drew, doing great stuff.

7:06 Drew Thank you.

7:07 Caller And Adam, you're a god.

7:09 Adam Thank you.

7:10 Drew Adam?

7:11 Caller Oh, congratulations on the penis award.

7:14 Adam Oh, wait a minute. Thank you. I know that's why phone screener Danielle wrote Jan, because he said Adam.

7:21 Drew Yeah.

7:21 Adam And when they said, what's your name, he went, John?

7:23 Drew Yeah, Jan.

7:24 Adam Jan. Yeah. Yeah, probably from Boston or something. Where are you from? Chicago.

7:29 Drew Chicago.

7:30 Adam Chicago. Better. All right. Thank you. Yes, my penis came out smelling like a rose last night after Drew.

7:37 Drew And there were no awards.

7:38 System of a Down What the hell are you guys talking about?

7:39 Adam Last night, Drew and I had a little bet going that I didn't have any venereal warts on my penis. He said the only way to find out was to dump this acetic acid on it and shine a black light on it. And I told him to put his money where his mouth was. He dumped the acid on my penis. We shined the light on it and nothing. It looked like the driven snow. That's what it looked like.

8:02 Drew Actually, it was clear to me it was a stunt penis, but nothing I could do. We didn't specify that.

8:08 System of a Down The real one was tucked down.

8:09 Drew But he then tried to double down.

8:11 Adam Anal warts. I want to double or nothing on the anal warts.

8:14 Drew But we decided. So what happened?

8:17 Adam I told him that finding my asshole would be like trying to find Santa's mouth.

8:22 System of a Down Why? Are you Armenian?

8:24 Adam No, but I'm Italian, which is the next harriest race. Next best thing.

8:26 System of a Down There you go.

8:29 Adam Who's harrier than the Armenians, Drew? The Italians? No. No, Armenians are definitely the harriest.

8:36 System of a Down No one is harrier than them.

8:36 Adam Why do they need all that hair over there? What's going on?

8:39 System of a Down It's cold.

8:40 System of a Down Real cold in Armenia.

8:41 System of a Down I don't know. I haven't been there.

8:43 Adam There are places that are colder than Armenia with less hairy people, right?

8:46 System of a Down What's up with Eskimos? Why do they have so much hair?

8:49 Adam Eskimos are bald.

8:50 System of a Down There you go.

8:51 Adam I mean, that's what I'm saying.

8:52 Drew It's short and round, though.

8:53 System of a Down That's life, man.

8:54 Adam Yeah, Eskimos, they're fat Hawaiians is what they are. Jan? I mean, John? It says Jan up there. That's why it's driving me nuts.

9:03 Caller Hey, Adam, you know who you have to have for a guest?

9:05 Adam No, Jesus, who?

9:07 Caller Jenna Jameson.

9:08 Adam All right, well, she's been in here. She sent Drew some flowers, and he was too scared to bring them home.

9:13 Caller All right, should I get to my question?

9:14 Adam Yeah, go ahead.

9:15 Caller All right, well, my parents got divorced about like seven years ago. And, well, my mom remarried like, I think, four years ago, so three years after they got divorced. And then, well, I live with my biological mom. And, well, one day I was like walking through the hallway and I saw that my step-sister, who she's 18, she was masturbating and I was, there was like a little crack of the door open and I was just like freaking out. I don't know, I just like keep...

9:51 Adam Okay.

9:54 Caller I just can't get out of my head when I'm on...

9:57 Adam That's more taboo music.

9:58 Are you guys done? Yeah.

10:00 System of a Down Sorry, man.

10:01 Adam All right, we're going to do, ooh baby, I wanna be, I wanna be going and coming with you, baby. I wanna be, I wanna be going.

10:16 System of a Down This is sort of like Boogie Nights.

10:18 Adam Got it, get it on, got it. Drew, you gotta hear all these themes.

10:23 System of a Down You still haven't seen it?

10:24 Drew No, I've...

10:25 System of a Down Come on, get with it.

10:26 Drew I feel very deprived, but I haven't.

10:27 Adam John, so your step sister was masturbating.

10:32 Caller Yeah.

10:33 Adam And?

10:34 Caller And I just, it freaks me out. Whenever I try to masturbate, it always goes through my head and I just go limp.

10:40 Adam Why? That doesn't excite you? Is she ugly?

10:42 Caller No.

10:43 Adam You're not attracted to her?

10:44 Caller No, she's ugly.

10:46 Adam Okay.

10:47 System of a Down Is that why you don't like it? If she was attractive, would you be into it?

10:51 Caller I don't know, maybe, I'm not sure.

10:52 Drew You're unbelievable.

10:53 Adam All right. I don't even believe him. I don't know what he's talking about. It goes through his head.

10:56 Drew Yeah. Nonsense.

10:58 Adam There's no 15-year-old that can't put out some negative imagery in order to masturbate.

11:03 System of a Down Yeah, but maybe he's looking at her as his sister and he's not into it.

11:07 Adam Let me tell you, when I was 15, you could have propped my eyelids open like clockwork orange and just put drops in them and then showed films of Nazi death camps in Vietnam and I still could have squeezed one off. No problem, no hands, just the ninja-like concentration. Bobby?

11:26 System of a Down Hello?

11:27 Adam You're 15, what's up?

11:29 Caller Hey, Adam, congratulations about the clear penis.

11:32 Adam Thank you, thank you very much.

11:34 Caller Yeah, I wanted to wonder, System of a Down, when your new album is going to come out and if you're recording it yet.

11:40 System of a Down We're on our way after this to go start recording the whole thing and we'll be done.

11:48 Adam You're going tonight, huh?

11:50 They should be done by morning, actually.

11:52 Adam About 3, 4 in the morning.

11:54 System of a Down No, there's no telling, man. There's no telling when it's going to come out. We just got off tour with Metallica. We have some new songs and we're going to, you know.

12:01 System of a Down We're going to put it out when it's right.

12:03 System of a Down We put out whenever we feel right.

12:06 Adam All right, Bobby.

12:07 Caller Okay, I saw you somewhere in Santerium. You were really good.

12:10 System of a Down Thank you.

12:10 System of a Down Thanks.

12:11 Adam Hey, Bobby, they'll come on the show when the new album comes out or just before that, and then they'll promote it and then you'll know when it's coming out, all right?

12:18 Caller Okay.

12:18 Adam All right.

12:19 Caller Thanks.

12:19 Adam All right. Nathan. Yeah. What's up with this mic? You're 34.

12:25 System of a Down This time it's scary.

12:26 Adam Yeah. What's up, Nathan?

12:28 I got a question on relationships, one of those things. Yeah.

12:33 System of a Down Good show to call.

12:33 System of a Down That's different.

12:35 Go ahead. I met a-

12:37 Adam Hold on a second. Are we having difficulties tonight with our callers?

12:40 Drew I think your fuse might be short. It is sort of average.

12:43 Adam Really?

12:44 Drew Retarded.

12:46 Adam Does everyone seem like they're listening to themselves on the radio with a six-second delay or just kind of missing-

12:53 Drew They all sound like they used a fake name and forgot what the name was.

12:56 Adam Right. Okay.

12:57 System of a Down Don't they hear this tomorrow, though, all across the country?

12:59 Drew Some places.

13:00 Adam But if these callers were a sprocket, they'd be missing a few teeth. Yes. You kind of getting that feeling? All right. Let's see if we can pick it up. Nathan. Here we go, buddy.

13:11 Hey. I met a girl about two and a half years ago. When I met her, I knew within days that I'd be dating her. It was one of those love at first sight. In three days, I was dating her. The only problem was, is she was married. I dated her for about two years.

13:34 Adam Right.

13:35 It ended about six months, eight months ago.

13:39 Adam So you dated her for two years while she was married?

13:42 While she was married.

13:43 Adam I see.

13:45 I'm in a group that has both single women and married women in it.

13:50 Adam What? You're in a group that has single and married women in it? What kind of group?

13:57 I don't want to name the group because probably people know me.

14:00 Drew Well, what kind of group?

14:02 It's a group to get together to do things on the weekends.

14:05 System of a Down Is it church?

14:07 No, it has nothing to do with church.

14:08 Adam No, it's a loser group, right? Anyone who has to join a group to find stuff to do on the weekend is in a lot of trouble.

14:15 Well, it's a social group, I'll put it that way.

14:18 Adam Okay.

14:21 System of a Down Trekkies.

14:22 Adam You guys.

14:23 I'm in.

14:24 Adam Seriously, do you have a Trekkie? Are you a Trekkie? No, I'm not a Trekkie. Do you have a Star Trek outfit?

14:29 System of a Down You better turn this mic off, man.

14:30 Adam I can't do it. All right. So Nathan, what's your question then?

14:34 My question is, is there something psychological with me, with other people, because I've noticed other guys in the group that are also attracted to married women and turn down single women. Are we just a sick group of people or?

14:48 Drew Well, first of all, the married women do not carry the same sort of problems of commitment that the single would. You know the other one's already tied up. And so if you're dating a married woman, it's just going to be for sort of superficial purposes.

15:01 Adam Every time you get together, you're going to have sex, and you're not going to have to worry about buying her jewelry. The other thing is that you can't buy married woman jewelry. That's the great part.

15:09 Drew That's right. You can't possibly.

15:11 Adam No. You should come home with it on and get busted.

15:13 Drew The other thing is the marketplace is totally efficient, meaning to say that stuff that's worthwhile being married, you know what I'm saying?

15:22 Adam No, keep saying it. I know what you're saying, but I want you to make it clear to the stoned listeners.

15:28 Drew That eligible people who want to get married, get married.

15:32 Adam Right.

15:33 Drew And so there may be slimmer pickings in your age group.

15:36 Adam Right. Single never been married. So meaning if there's a chick who's floating around who's 33 and single, there may be a reason she's single, and maybe that reason is why you're not attracted to her either, and there may be a reason why the other one got snatched up, so to speak, and that's why you're interested in her. Right. All right, but see if you can stick with the single ones.

15:55 Drew Of course. Of course.

15:57 Adam Sarah.

15:58 Hi.

15:58 Adam All right, bail us out of this. You're 19.

16:01 Caller Okay. I'm having a bit of a problem, but I got a feeling tomorrow morning it will be a problem. I call my doctor. I go through like these really bad things. I get like really superly depressed, and I called him. I wasn't able to sleep. He gave me Ambien. I've been on it before, but he took me off of it. He took me off of it because you're not supposed to be on it longer than like 15 days. I was dependent on it. Anyway, he gave it to me, and I just took it like a couple hours ago, and I was listening to your show, like the one where it was Adam's penis, and you guys had the black light and everything.

16:42 Adam The penis show.

16:43 Caller Yeah. I'm having these hallucinations, like as I'm looking around, things are coming up, and I just don't really quite get it. I'm falling around my room, just laughing. You got more?

16:57 Adam Where do you live, honey? Easy pickings, gents.

17:00 Caller I'm just like, oh, it doesn't mean anything, you know, but I'm scared because he's going to take it off. He's going to take me off of it eventually, I'm sure.

17:09 Adam Hold on a second. Why is it chicks or spire chicks such lightweights, Drew? I've taken those ambience. First off, I don't even bother taking one without washing it down a couple of Bloody Marys, and then I sit on the plane, I can barely fall asleep, I get up, I take a leak in the sink, I mean in the toilet of the plane. I walk right off and do a radio show, I don't have any problems. She takes an ambient, she's all over the place. Why are chicks such lightweights? Is it just that they're lighter?

17:37 Drew Yeah, lower volume distribution.

17:39 Adam Yeah, but we all know some scrawny 135-pound guy who can put away a 12-pack and still ride his motorcycle home without any problem. That's right.

17:49 Drew Me, man, me. Alcoholic males, it turns out, are resistant to the intoxicating effects of alcohol.

17:54 Adam Alcoholic males are?

17:55 Drew Yeah. Sons of alcoholic fathers, meaning the alcoholics.

17:58 Adam That'd be a good group to join.

17:59 Drew Sons of alcoholic fathers?

18:00 Adam Yeah, like the daughters of the American Revolution.

18:02 Drew Sons of Italy?

18:03 Adam Sons of alcoholic fathers.

18:05 System of a Down Isn't that how the Boy Scouts started?

18:06 Adam We meet down at the Buffalo Hall every third Sunday. All right, so she's screwed up.

18:11 Drew She shouldn't be taking this. She's been addicted to it once before.

18:14 Adam I want to talk to her a little more.

18:15 Drew And she's a mood disturbance.

18:16 Adam Sarah?

18:16 Caller Yeah?

18:17 Adam Where are you calling from?

18:18 Caller I'm calling from Illinois.

18:21 Adam So were you hallucinating about my penis?

18:24 Caller Oh, actually it wasn't. It was weird.

18:27 Adam It's not that effed up.

18:29 Caller These deformation things were coming out of the radio. Because I have an equalizer and it goes up and down as you talk. Yeah. It was very, very weird.

18:40 Adam Let me tell you something about equalizer. Do you know what an equalizer equals? White trash. Remember those equalizers from the 70s? Everyone had an equalizer. I don't know. I was saying to someone the other day, why is it we decided we don't need those anymore? Remember, you guys may be a little bit young, but it was really important to get an equalizer, probably about 78, 79. Yeah. So important that you had them in your car. You were just in the treble and the reverb and the balance. It has all these slides on it. It didn't really amount to too much, and there's lights everywhere.

19:15 System of a Down You ended up getting the worst sound ever.

19:17 Adam Right, because you did it yourself. All right, so what should you do? And why can't you, you can take these, hold on, how long can you take these ambience?

19:25 Drew Shouldn't take more than a week or so.

19:27 Adam Is that every night, you mean?

19:28 Drew Yeah, after you get addicted.

19:30 Adam I don't take them every night.

19:30 Drew But I'll tell you what, she needs her mood disturbance treated, that's a more important issue, and she needs an evaluation post before addiction, because that might be what's going on here.

19:38 Adam Is this Karsha?

19:39 Caller Yes.

19:40 Adam You're 19?

19:41 Caller Yes.

19:42 Adam You're on the System of a Down?

19:45 Caller Yeah, well, hi, you guys.

19:46 I think your guys' songs are cool, so.

19:48 System of a Down Thank you.

19:49 She.

19:51 Caller Yeah, I was...

19:53 Are you guys still there?

19:54 System of a Down No, we left.

19:57 Oh, no.

20:00 Adam What's up tonight, Spazzo?

20:02 Huh?

20:05 Adam Why is it Spaz night tonight? It is Spaz night.

20:07 System of a Down I think it's us.

20:08 Drew Super Spaz night.

20:09 Adam It's gotta be, you guys. Hey, Super Spazzo.

20:12 Caller Okay.

20:13 Adam What's your question?

20:14 Caller Yeah?

20:15 System of a Down Oh.

20:17 Okay, I was taking these orthotri-sequentials, right?

20:20 System of a Down Yeah. Yeah.

20:21 And I was getting side effects from them.

20:24 So I started taking some more of them, right?

20:25 Well, I had sex with somebody.

20:28 Adam Yeah.

20:28 Caller And...

20:29 Adam An auctioneer?

20:30 System of a Down Are you jogging right now?

20:31 Caller No, I'm talking.

20:33 Drew Oh.

20:33 System of a Down She's typing with her mouth.

20:36 Drew Reminds me of that guy in that commercial that used to say, talk real quickly.

20:39 System of a Down I'm gonna have to slow this down and listen to it later just so I can find out what you're saying.

20:42 Adam Yeah, the guy used to do the Alaskan Airline commercials.

20:44 Drew Exactly.

20:45 Talk lower.

20:46 Adam All right, go ahead there, Carson. You're doing fine.

20:48 Okay. Okay.

20:51 Let me try to talk slower.

20:53 Well...

20:54 Drew Are you talking slower?

20:56 Orthotri-cycling pills.

20:57 Adam Don't talk so slowly. It spooks the dog.

21:02 Okay. Can you hear me now?

21:03 Adam Yes.

21:04 Okay.

21:04 I'll take the tri-cycling pills.

21:06 Drew Right.

21:07 And then I start taking this one called low-spin.

21:12 Adam Oh, Jesus Christ. Turn your radio down, you screwball. Hey, let's just cut our losses. Let's go home.

21:19 Drew Right now.

21:20 Adam We'll play, I'll tell you what, to be fair to System of a Down.

21:24 System of a Down Play our whole album.

21:25 Drew Yeah.

21:26 Adam What we'll do, I'll do one better. We'll play the whole album. That'll get us into the 11 o'clock hour and then we'll just play an hour's worth of your last appearance.

21:34 System of a Down There you go.

21:36 System of a Down People won't know the difference.

21:37 Adam Done and done, right? Fellas, what do you say?

21:40 Drew I'm game.

21:40 System of a Down You could always go pick up Taboo 3 right now, too.

21:43 Adam Oh, yeah. See, that was a great movie because not only was the guy banging his sister, but he's banging his mom, too.

21:51 Caller See?

21:53 Adam He's got it all. That's what that means. When they say about a guy, he has it all.

21:57 System of a Down And they incorporated-

21:58 Drew What more could a guy want?

21:59 System of a Down They also incorporated rock and roll into the third movie.

22:03 Adam Oh, they did?

22:03 System of a Down Oh, yeah.

22:05 Adam I don't know any of the themes from that. I do know the Going and Coming song, and he has it all. And then the- What's the title of the other one we were singing? The one we were singing a few minutes ago. I don't know if it has a title. It just has a riff.

22:20 System of a Down It's a fat riff, though.

22:21 Adam All right. We're going to take a little walk down the memory lane with Tabu 2 and the Boys here. And then we'll come back. Karsha, you turn down your radio, kill your dog, and sequester yourself in the closet and stuff towels under the crack of the door. And we'll talk to you when we come back. Hey, it's the Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew, John and Daron are both here from System of a Down. We're gonna, well, here's something off their CD, I think. What we're gonna do is we're gonna see if we can't get through to Karsha over here first, and then we'll hear a System of a Down song. Karsha? Karsha, you're 19?

23:36 Caller Am I 19?

23:37 Caller Uh-oh.

23:38 Caller Oh, God.

23:38 Adam What happened?

23:40 Caller Hello?

23:41 Adam Hello? It never ends.

23:44 Drew What's your name? What's your name? Let me answer Karsha's question before we get on to Brandon here.

23:50 Adam What happened to Karsha?

23:51 Drew Karsha was saying she was on Tri-Levulin or Tri-Phasel, and then switched over to Low Estrin, and then she's concerned because she didn't get her period. But Low Estrin is a very low dose Estrin pill, and one of the things that happens with that is no period. So it's just the pill change.

24:05 Adam All right. She unfortunately couldn't hear that because her step-down was a beating over the table leg the entire time. Ken?

24:14 Hi.

24:14 Adam Ken, you're 23. What's up?

24:16 Caller How are you doing?

24:17 Adam Good.

24:18 Who's the guest today?

24:19 Adam System of a Down.

24:20 Caller System of a Down?

24:22 Adam Yeah.

24:22 Caller Oh, okay.

24:25 Adam I'm telling you, it is weirdo night tonight. And it's not even like angry aggressive night. And it's not even necessarily like stone night. It's like ether night.

24:35 System of a Down I can't help but feel it's our fault somehow.

24:37 Drew But he didn't even know you were one of the guests.

24:41 Adam Yeah, but you know how...

24:42 Drew He was interested.

24:43 Adam You know how vibes work. All right, Ken.

24:46 Caller Yeah, I was just asking to be nice.

24:47 Adam All right, brother, ask your question.

24:49 Caller Okay, well, I have a problem. When I first meet a girl and we start having sex and stuff, I don't last too incredibly long during sex. And I was wondering if there's anything I can do to... Like, after a while, I get, you know... Excuse my language.

25:05 Drew Just out of curiosity, what would too incredibly long be?

25:08 Caller Oh.

25:10 Caller Five minutes for the most part.

25:11 Drew That's too incredibly long.

25:13 System of a Down Do you use condoms?

25:13 Drew Or is that not too incredibly long?

25:15 Caller Pardon me?

25:15 System of a Down Do you use condoms?

25:17 Caller No, no, no.

25:18 Adam Try that.

25:19 Caller It'll go longer, yeah, for sure.

25:20 Adam Yeah, so once you put a condom on and then you can add a few minutes to your game.

25:25 Caller Well, usually I do, but it's a lot nicer to not use them.

25:29 System of a Down Do you have an ugly step-sister?

25:32 Adam Yeah, if you saw your ugly step-sister masturbating, you could add a few minutes to it.

25:36 Drew Ken, don't you perceive any potential danger in not using a condom?

25:41 Adam I guess he got your answer there, Drew. Hey, Ken, you do what I do. You get that poster, the Hey Vern guy, you put it up on the ceiling and he stare at it real hard. And now that he died, I've added another 10 minutes. On to my love making.

25:56 Caller All right. Hey, great.

25:57 Adam Hey, Ken, here's what you need to do. Seriously, you find one woman, you have a relationship and you kind of work it out. Because listen, all these questions guys ask, we haven't talked about this in a little while. Women have this, but guys, I think really have this. You all have that one chick you worked things out with, you figured it out. You tried the different positions, you walked around, you went into the kitchen naked together. You know what I mean? That one chick, and it's not necessarily your first girlfriend, and it's not necessarily, it could happen at 23, it could happen at 16, it could happen at 28, but usually, every guy has that one girl, he gets to do all the different positions, and he gets to work his stuff out, and he gets his confidence. And then once he moves on from her, he now has his confidence. He knows he can perform, he knows all the positions, he's comfortable.

26:51 Drew His mojo girl.

26:52 Adam His mojo girl. Now, thank you, Drew, if you just go from one chick to the next chick and have a series of short, awkward relationships, or one-night stands, or drunken encounters, you never get to work it out.

27:04 Drew No mojo.

27:04 Adam No mojo. Although, if you do work out the mojo chick, then you can have a life full of awkward one-night stands that do work out because you found your balance in mojo, as Drew says. So I think this guy needs to just find some chick and work it out.

27:20 System of a Down Maybe they wouldn't be one-night stands if you could last more than two minutes.

27:23 Adam That's a very valid point, John. Casey or Cassie?

27:27 Cassie.

27:28 Adam You're 16.

27:29 Caller Yeah.

27:30 Adam What's up?

27:30 Caller I just wanted to say system of down. I love you guys. You're great.

27:33 System of a Down Thank you.

27:34 Caller You're welcome.

27:35 Caller Anyways, like, when I have sex...

27:37 System of a Down We don't know what to say to that.

27:38 System of a Down When you have sex, yes.

27:39 Caller When I have sex, I can't get wet. And I was wondering if it was because I was molested.

27:44 Drew Yeah, it could have something to do with it.

27:46 Caller Could it?

27:46 Drew How old were you when that happened?

27:48 Caller 18 months old.

27:49 Drew Oh, my God. What happened?

27:50 Caller I don't remember it.

27:51 Drew How do you know it happened?

27:52 Caller Because my mom told me.

27:55 System of a Down 18 months old?

27:58 Adam How do you molest an 18-month-old, by the way? I didn't think stuff like that happened.

28:04 Caller I don't know.

28:04 Caller It was my...

28:06 System of a Down Really? 18 months.

28:07 Adam 18 months is a little young.

28:08 Drew Who was it?

28:09 Caller It was my grandpa.

28:10 System of a Down That's terrible.

28:11 Drew What did he do?

28:12 Caller I don't know. I didn't want to ask my mom about it because he molested her, too.

28:17 System of a Down Why did she tell you if you didn't know?

28:19 Drew Sometimes people... All right.

28:20 Adam Hold on. We got to have a little powwow here.

28:22 Drew Sometimes people that were molested see molestation in everything.

28:26 Adam Yeah.

28:27 Drew Maybe grandpa was just changing her diaper.

28:29 Adam Yeah. Okay. First off, let me ask a hypothetical question. I'll ask you, Drew. Would you rather be molested at 18 months or 7, age 7?

28:42 Drew 18 months.

28:42 Adam I'd rather go 18 months, too.

28:44 System of a Down Well, isn't there like damage that could happen to a girl that's that young that may not necessarily happen at 7?

28:50 Adam Like physiological damage? That's an interesting point. I don't know. But provided there was no physical damage, I'd rather have it. I'd look at it as anything, any kind of surgery, whatever. I'd rather have it before than after. And by the way, then if grandpa molested mom, what the hell was grandpa doing with Cassie? Cassie. Cassie? And if he did really molest you and she wasn't projecting this, why would she tell you? That's what I just said.

29:20 Caller She took me to the doctor afterwards, and there's documented proof that he molested me. I guess, I don't know what it is. But she told me because she didn't talk to my grandpa for 15 years after that. She didn't talk to my grandpa or grandma because she never told anyone that he molested her. And she brought it out after he molested me. So they all stopped talking to her. And recently my grandmother called and she wants to get back in our life because she divorced my grandpa. So my mom decided to tell me about it because she knew that it might come out some other way if she didn't tell me.

29:51 Adam Okay.

29:52 System of a Down Do you have a boyfriend?

29:54 Caller Not really.

29:55 Adam And where's your dad?

29:58 Caller You know, I couldn't tell you. I think he's in Tucson.

30:02 Adam Oh yeah, I'm sure your mother married a real piece of work after what dad had done to her.

30:08 Yeah.

30:08 Adam Yeah, he was probably a real world class a-hole.

30:11 Yeah.

30:11 Adam All right, so Cassie, nothing physically is wrong with you though, right?

30:15 Caller Not, I don't think so.

30:17 System of a Down Why don't you try waiting to have sex with someone you care about?

30:21 Caller Okay.

30:22 Adam I know it sounds novel, but...

30:24 System of a Down Have you tried toys?

30:25 Caller No.

30:28 System of a Down Try caring about a toy.

30:29 Caller Okay.

30:30 Adam Yeah. Listen, I don't know that what he did to you is going to dry up, but you thinking about it when you're with a guy might do it.

30:39 System of a Down Yeah.

30:40 Adam You know what I'm saying? So now the fact that it's entered your mind and your mom has planted that seed, that may be a factor now.

30:48 Caller Okay.

30:49 Adam So I don't know how you can't think about it though.

30:52 System of a Down Think naughty thoughts. Yeah, at the time.

30:56 Adam And take it slow because you're prime candidate to be pregnant by 16 and a half.

31:03 Caller Yeah.

31:03 Adam You know what I'm saying? You acting out yet?

31:08 Caller I don't think so.

31:09 Adam You having sex with a lot of guys?

31:11 Caller No, only with two guys.

31:12 Adam Okay. At the same time? No.

31:14 Okay.

31:16 System of a Down Only two guys tonight.

31:17 Adam Take it slow and use protection, all right? I do. And you can use some lubrication.

31:23 Okay.

31:23 Adam And this will sort its way out, all right? All right. All right. Well, I don't know. What do you do when someone's not lubricating? And listen, girls, you're different at 25 than you are at 16.

31:35 Drew Very different.

31:35 Adam A lot of girls really aren't, as I found out in high school, aren't too much into sex at 16.

31:42 System of a Down Maybe the guys she's with don't really know what they're doing and they're not getting her to that point.

31:47 Adam That is a very, very strong possibility. Yeah. It's probably some 16 year old guy going, You want another thumbing? You don't mind if I eat while I'm thumbing you, do you? I just got off work.

32:03 System of a Down Keep the wrestling on.

32:04 Adam Yeah. I like to eat a TV dinner, watch them wrestling while I give you a nice thumbing. All right. We will hear something from System of a Down. You queued up there, Anderson? Yes. This one's called Sugar. That'd be System of a Down.

34:51 System of a Down There's a lot of people here at the studio.

34:53 Adam Oh, yes. Thank you, thank you. They're very vocal. Sugar's the name of that one. Off of System of a Down, we'll hear something else from them in the 11 o'clock hour. I guess it's about time to take ourselves a break. I just want to talk to Eric real quick before we go for a break. Eric?

35:08 Yeah.

35:09 Adam You're 20?

35:10 Caller I'm 20.

35:10 Adam You have big nipples?

35:12 Caller First of all, I'd like to say, What is this?

35:14 System of a Down What is this?

35:16 Adam That's Armenian?

35:17 Yeah.

35:18 System of a Down It's something.

35:19 Yeah.

35:20 Adam It means, Pass the razor.

35:22 System of a Down Secret code.

35:24 Caller Second of all, I'd like to say, Kunan Turkerin.

35:27 System of a Down I'm down with that too. I said I'm down with that too.

35:31 Caller Hell yeah.

35:32 System of a Down For those who understand.

35:33 Adam Yeah. You know, it's always funny about when people speak the same language, they get really into it. And I think it's really cool, too, like a conversational breakout in a different language between two people. Yeah, except for I think to myself, I don't like talking to people that much, even in my native tongue. You know what I mean? It wouldn't be that exciting. You know what?

35:55 Drew How could it be so exciting?

35:56 Adam How could it be so exciting to talk to someone?

35:58 System of a Down It's something that we relate with each other because there's so few of us in the world. You know, someone... where are you from again?

36:04 Adam There's a lot in Glendale, though, right?

36:05 System of a Down Yeah. That is Armenia.

36:07 Adam Yeah.

36:08 Caller Yeah, hell yeah. Glendale, Burbank, it's all the same. I used to follow you guys when you were back in Pelibos. Eagle Rock. Cool.

36:14 Adam All right, I want to talk about your nipples for a second.

36:17 Caller Yeah. When I was about 14, 15, I had like really hard nipples and I went to the doctor. He said that, you know, it's puberty, you're going to go through that. And ever since that, it just swoll up, really soft and really big and really annoying.

36:31 Adam What do you mean big?

36:32 Caller Big, like big, like round, circle big.

36:36 Adam Which part is big? The areola, the part around the nipple?

36:39 Caller Everything.

36:40 Adam Everything.

36:41 Caller The whole nipple.

36:41 Drew Like a female type breath.

36:43 Adam Slow down, you're turning me on.

36:44 System of a Down Are we talking about a quarter or a silver dollar pancake?

36:46 Caller I'm talking about maybe half a dollar.

36:48 Adam Nice.

36:49 Drew But with the swelling behind it?

36:51 Caller Yeah, with the swelling.

36:53 System of a Down Do you have the usual Armenian hair around it too?

36:55 Caller Not at all.

36:56 Adam Oh, yeah. See, if you had the usual Armenian hair, you could just do a nipple comb over like a lot of Armenian guys do. You'll see a lot of Armenian guys at the beach with what they call the-

37:05 System of a Down Chest wig.

37:06 Adam MMCO. The NCO. Yeah, nipple comb over.

37:09 Caller Natural wig, a natural sweater.

37:11 Drew Do you smoke a lot of pot?

37:13 Caller Used to.

37:14 Drew That's what does this.

37:15 Caller Really?

37:16 Drew Yeah.

37:16 Adam Yeah, but you have to have- I'm okay, man. You have to have some natural-

37:20 Drew Let's see. Yeah, it starts out, but it keeps it going.

37:23 Adam All right. So what should he do?

37:26 Drew There's nothing to do. Stop throwing a pot.

37:29 Adam Nothing else?

37:30 Drew And you can get plastic surgery?

37:31 Adam Yeah, but if you're a guy and you have a huge frisbee-sized nipples, you have to smoke weed just to deal with the pain.

37:39 System of a Down Is he overweight? Are you overweight?

37:41 Adam That's fine.

37:42 Caller I'm actually underweight.

37:43 Adam Yeah.

37:44 Drew Whatever that means.

37:45 Adam There's not a lot of fat Armenian guys.

37:47 Drew You're fat.

37:47 System of a Down Oh, yeah, there are.

37:48 Adam There are?

37:49 Caller I'm just not one of them.

37:49 System of a Down We're eaters.

37:50 Adam Okay. All right.

37:52 Caller You're saying I can't do anything about this?

37:54 Drew Plastic surgery, stop throwing a pot. Those are your choices.

37:56 Caller I've stopped a long time ago.

37:58 Adam All right. I think you're good. Listen, women will love you anyway.

38:02 Caller I know that.

38:02 Adam Okay. Not that much. I like those Armenian delis. I used to go to one when I lived in La Crescenta.

38:10 System of a Down Carousel.

38:10 System of a Down You like the smell of curry?

38:12 Adam I like all that weird food, you know. I like the Armenians, they drink a lot of beverages that are yogurt based.

38:20 System of a Down There's one, yeah.

38:21 Adam There's one good.

38:21 System of a Down It's called Vodka based.

38:22 System of a Down It's called Ton. There's a couple of different names.

38:24 Adam There's a few cultures that have the yogurt based soft drinks, which I always find a little bit bizarre. And the people that always go, I always question a guy, what's that yogurt stuff? And they go, oh it is good. It tastes like vinegar and lemon. You like it. No, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Yes, it's very bitter. Yes, you like it.

38:43 Drew It's very bitter.

38:44 System of a Down It goes well with certain foods. I mean, you're not going to eat it or drink it with pizza.

38:47 Drew It sounds like a salad by the counter.

38:50 System of a Down Try it. It's very good. Salt. Put salt in it.

38:53 Adam It's very salty and tastes like lemon.

38:55 System of a Down Well, what does that remind you of? Very salty and tastes like lemon.

38:59 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. System of a Down is here. We'll explore the Armenian culture in further detail when we come back.

39:07 Loveline. Loveline. We'll be right back.

39:47 Adam Yep, same price. It is Loveline. Just talking Armenian food with the System of a Down. We have John and Darren Pose here.

39:57 System of a Down Savchunink, man. Savedanim.

40:00 Adam Hey, I know there's a lot of people who are weirded out by that kind of food, but it's really solid. You get all that hummus and that baba ganoush and all that chicken, everything's over an open flame.

40:11 System of a Down It'll make your nipples grow real big.

40:13 Adam Yeah, yeah, it's solid. And then you get that frisbee-sized. Then you get the pancakes, some of that baklava. Oh, that's solid dessert. That is good taste and dessert, that baklava. And then you wash it all down with some yogurt. Mohammed, what's up? You're 17.

40:34 Caller Hey, man. First of all, System of a Down, y'all rock, man. I love you guys.

40:38 System of a Down Thank you very much.

40:39 Caller Cool. Dr. Drew, I don't know how the hell you do it, man, but you're a saint, dog. You're like death out there. I don't know how you do it. You're so freaking nice. And you're helping out all those guys.

40:48 Drew Thanks, Mohammed.

40:48 Caller And Maynay's.

40:50 Adam Yeah.

40:50 Caller I found them the penis test. My dad walked in when I was listening on that, and we had to fight to keep the radio on.

41:00 Adam Yeah. You had to fight with your dad?

41:03 Caller Basically.

41:04 Adam Listen, that should be considered education for the viewers or the listeners of this show.

41:10 Drew Yeah, that's the intent of it, certainly.

41:11 Adam Thirty-six years I've had this penis attached to me.

41:14 Drew No, you've not.

41:15 Adam It is sconce free. You're right. I didn't have it for the first five years. My mom kept it in a mayonnaise jar under the house.

41:21 Drew That's the nickname.

41:22 Adam But the court awarded my penis back to me when I was six years old.

41:26 System of a Down You got to fight for your rights.

41:27 Adam Since then, it's been with me. All right, Muhammad, what's your question?

41:31 Caller First of all, I've got a question for Susan Mowdown. I got this bed going out, so my friend, he doesn't know where the hell Armenia is, and we're betting that one of the band members, he said that one of the band members is actually an Arab, a Middle Eastern, or a Muslim. So I want you guys to confirm that. Is that true or not? False. False? All right, good. Got $5.00.

41:50 System of a Down Hey, I hope you get 10% of that.

41:54 Caller You got it, of course, man.

41:54 System of a Down Music business, man. You got that $5.00 is going to break down in like 25 cents. By the time we're done with you.

42:02 System of a Down Management, everyone.

42:04 Adam Where is Armenia, by the way? It's between Russia. I just know where it's not.

42:10 System of a Down Where is it not?

42:11 Adam Well, what I mean is there's certain countries. I know where they're not. I just don't know where they are.

42:16 System of a Down It's not in the Middle East.

42:18 System of a Down It's not in Australia.

42:19 Drew It's not in Canada.

42:19 Adam Right? I know it's not. It's not in the United States. I know it's not in Canada. I know it's not. Well, now we're getting around Africa. Right? Doesn't it connect?

42:29 System of a Down Eastern Europe.

42:31 Adam Yeah, all right. I'm trying to picture the continents in my head. All right, so it's between what and what?

42:36 System of a Down It's sandwiched between Russia and Turkey. Turkey, unfortunately.

42:40 Adam I'm such an idiot.

42:41 Drew Interesting things about Armenia is that a lot of focus on the slaughters of the Second World War, but very little, for some reason, awareness of what happened to the Armenians.

42:50 System of a Down It's because we're still basically profiting from that area.

42:55 Drew Well, there was millions of Armenian kills.

42:57 System of a Down Yeah, the Turkish government doesn't recognize it, though. That's the difference. It's like Germans recognize what they did, and Turkish people don't. Well, not people, but the government doesn't.

43:08 Caller Yeah, and Dr. Drew, I've got a question for you, man. Personally, I don't think my penis is that bad of a size. I think it's normal for my age, but I've saw this website where there's exercises that can be made to actually increase the size by up to 40%.

43:23 Drew Where did you see that?

43:24 Caller 40%. Do you want me to tell you the website?

43:26 Drew On a website?

43:27 Caller Yeah. It's a website that... It's like you can buy a book through it, and it tells you a bunch of exercises that can help grow your penis.

43:35 Drew Adam, this is a new business for you.

43:36 Adam Jump up and down. That's the number one exercise.

43:41 System of a Down Probably an exercise in futility.

43:42 Adam Yeah. It's not going to work.

43:44 Caller All right. Cool. And...

43:45 Adam Your penis is okay anyway, though, right?

43:47 Caller Not bad.

43:48 Adam You're black, right? You're not? Boy, you sure sound black.

43:52 Caller Dude, like, okay, my skin is white, but I'm African.

43:55 Adam Okay. So you're, like, South African?

43:58 Caller No, I'm North African. I'm from Libya.

44:00 Adam Wow. Wow. Well, it's a real melting pot we got going tonight. All right. I'm getting confused. I'm going back to North Hollywood.

44:08 System of a Down That'll confuse you even more now, dude.

44:09 Adam It will now, yeah. All right, Mohammed. One more question, please. Oh, Jesus. Or whoever you pray to. What's up? What year do you guys believe in? The Armenians.

44:21 System of a Down Generally, it's Christian. We have our own beliefs.

44:25 Adam OK. Hey, Mohammed, go ahead real fast.

44:29 Caller I want to know the pros and cons of smoking pot. I never tried it, but I'm thinking about trying it, like when I go out to Idaho to visit my brother.

44:37 System of a Down They don't got the good stuff in Idaho, I'll tell you that.

44:39 Adam You'll fit right in in Idaho, Mohammed.

44:42 Drew Potato?

44:44 Adam Listen, it makes your nipples the size of a saucer.

44:48 Caller Sweet.

44:48 Adam Yeah, you'll be fine. Listen, anybody who hasn't smoked pot by 17 is okay with me. Fine, go ahead, smoke your brains out in Idaho. You know what I'm saying? He'll be fine. Let's talk to Shavo. Hey. Shavo? Shavo, there you go.

45:06 Caller I got nipples the size of silver dollars, dude.

45:08 System of a Down Hey, let's talk about your balls, Shavo.

45:10 Caller They're pretty big.

45:11 System of a Down You got balloons? Do you have balloons?

45:14 Caller I got some balloons for you.

45:15 System of a Down You got some balloons?

45:16 Adam Hey, Shavo, does one hang down lower than the other?

45:19 Actually, the left one does.

45:20 Caller Something's wrong with his testicle?

45:22 Drew Yeah, Adam's got that, too.

45:23 Adam It'll keep getting worse as you get older. Drew experienced it firsthand, right?

45:27 System of a Down By the way, this is our bass player.

45:28 Adam Yes. Sorry, Shavo.

45:30 It's not the bass player. There's a different Shavo.

45:31 System of a Down Oh, yeah, because that's such a common name. My mistake.

45:36 System of a Down This is Shavarsh.

45:38 What are you guys doing?

45:39 System of a Down We're kicking it, man. What do you mean? What are we doing?

45:41 Caller I love the calls, bro.

45:42 System of a Down We're misguided adults helping misguided teenagers.

45:45 Caller Eighteen month old molestation charges. I didn't understand that.

45:49 System of a Down You like that one.

45:50 Caller I didn't get it.

45:52 Caller It was a bunk.

45:54 Adam You didn't believe her?

45:56 System of a Down Eighteen months.

45:56 Caller Come on.

45:57 System of a Down Yeah, it's possible.

45:58 Adam Well, she said her dad, her grandpa did it to her mom before then, so we had a history of it.

46:03 Caller I don't believe it.

46:03 Adam But listen, let's focus on your ball, Shavo.

46:07 System of a Down Hey, one half of the elephant right there. Form of?

46:10 Caller Oh, boy.

46:11 System of a Down Form of the elephant.

46:12 Adam Shavo, how's your penis doing though?

46:14 Caller Right now, it's doing pretty good. Just chilling.

46:17 Adam Okay. Why didn't you come down here tonight?

46:19 Caller I'm feeling under the weather.

46:21 Adam I see.

46:22 System of a Down You want to talk to Dr. Drew?

46:24 Caller Dr. Drew, how are you feeling?

46:27 Drew I'm fine.

46:29 System of a Down He's the doctor.

46:30 Adam Drew, can you go over there and give him a vapor rub after the show?

46:33 Drew Vapor?

46:34 Caller Yeah.

46:35 Adam Isn't that what they do? Isn't that what you do?

46:38 System of a Down A yogurt rub.

46:40 Adam I get the feeling Shavo is going to get some of his own yogurt going.

46:43 System of a Down It's pretty cool that you called since we never talked during the day.

46:46 Caller I know. I've been talking to him for four days now.

46:50 Adam Oh my God. You're breaking my heart, Shavo.

46:53 Have you enjoyed Taboo 2?

46:55 Adam Yes, extensively. As a matter of fact, I have all in a second, Shavo, because we got to take a break. I think I got two copies from you, right John?

47:04 System of a Down Yeah.

47:04 Adam And I actually have one upstairs in the VCR and one downstairs in the VCR. And I'm thinking about doing an elaborate system of mirrors so I can whack off in the stairwell on the way up.

47:14 System of a Down Have you seen the commercial with the like 500 TVs of the guys watching soccer?

47:18 Adam Right.

47:18 System of a Down Hook it up. We can get you the Sony discount. All right.

47:21 Adam I'm going to talk to the boys about the Sony discount during the break. When we come back, we'll speak to Theresa, who's 15, her boyfriend told her if she sucks her boobs, they'll grow. If he sucks her boobs. Good. Well, I'd substitute penis for that. We'll be back.

47:40 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:21 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, System of a Down is our guest tonight. We have John and Daron in here from the band. We will hear something else off of their CD entitled System of a Down, and we'll speak to Teresa who's 15.

48:40 System of a Down Oh, Shavo wanted to say bye, by the way.

48:41 Adam Oh, Shavo, hold on a second, Teresa. Shavo.

48:45 Caller Hey.

48:46 Adam Hey.

48:47 Caller I've been on the longest hold ever.

48:49 Drew Is it Shavo or Shabo?

48:51 Caller Shabo with a V.

48:51 System of a Down Taibo.

48:52 It's like Taibo.

48:53 No.

48:55 Caller Shavo.

48:56 System of a Down All right.

48:56 Adam Shavo, goodbye.

48:57 System of a Down All right. Bye, Shavo.

48:59 Adam Bye, Shavo.

48:59 Drew Thanks for not coming in.

49:03 Adam Teresa?

49:04 System of a Down Via satellite, Shavo.

49:06 Adam Teresa.

49:07 Drew Yes.

49:08 Adam You're 15. What's up?

49:09 System of a Down Thanks for not coming in.

49:10 Oh, System of a Down, you guys are rude.

49:13 System of a Down Thank you very much.

49:14 Another thing, yes, I was with my boyfriend the other day at the movies, and then he started touching me, and then I was getting really into it, and since my arms are a bit small, like he tells me maybe if I suck them, they'll grow, and I don't know if he was saying it in the wrong way, maybe he was just into the mood, I don't know. Yeah.

49:37 Drew He was into whatever he could get into.

49:39 Adam Is he a doctor?

49:41 No, no, no.

49:42 Adam A plastic surgeon?

49:43 Nothing like that.

49:43 Adam Research. Oh, he's not a doctor.

49:44 Drew He's been in endocrine research.

49:45 He's 18 years old, no.

49:47 System of a Down How old are you?

49:48 I'm 15.

49:49 Adam I see. He's 18, huh?

49:51 Drew A little bit old, huh?

49:51 Adam What does he do?

49:52 System of a Down 15 will get you 20.

49:55 Adam What does he do?

49:56 No, he just, he just graduated from high school.

49:59 Adam I see.

50:00 Yes. I don't know, but it gets me mad when he says things like that.

50:04 Adam It gets you mad?

50:06 System of a Down Do you have small nipples?

50:08 Let me check.

50:09 Drew Why does it make you mad, Theresa?

50:10 System of a Down Have you never seen your nipples before?

50:13 Drew Why does it make you mad?

50:14 I don't know. It just does little comments like that.

50:18 System of a Down Is he not happy with you, the way you are?

50:21 No, he just wants to screw all the time.

50:24 Drew That's right. That's not what you want, so hold out. Just don't, he's manipulating you. He wants to get whatever he can get. Just, that's where he's at.

50:32 Adam Are you having sex with him?

50:34 No, no.

50:35 Adam All right.

50:35 Good. I told him only when I'm married.

50:38 Adam All right.

50:39 Drew Be careful. This guy's working every possible angle.

50:42 Okay.

50:43 System of a Down He's got a good line, though.

50:45 Adam Yeah, I like that.

50:46 Drew He's lying, lying, lying. Okay?

50:48 Adam Yep. Yep. I told a woman once I'd suck the fat right out of her ass, but she didn't buy that. All right, Teresa. Okay, thank you. All right. Listen, everyone. When you're 15 and you hook up with an 18-year-old, especially when that 18-year-old's a guy, he's got a little, there's a little agenda.

51:06 Drew Difference.

51:06 Adam Difference there. As an 18-year-old guy, you're looking to get some and you're not-

51:11 System of a Down Especially from a younger, vulnerable girl.

51:12 Adam You're not waiting to get married. Sally?

51:16 Yeah.

51:16 Adam You're 18. What's up?

51:18 Caller Okay. Hi. I love you guys a lot.

51:21 Adam Thanks.

51:22 Caller Yeah. I love System of a Down. Hi, guys.

51:25 Adam Thank you.

51:25 Caller Hi. Okay.

51:28 System of a Down Are you in a toilet?

51:30 Caller What?

51:30 Adam Where are you calling from?

51:31 System of a Down Cave.

51:32 Adam You're where?

51:33 System of a Down The Batcave.

51:35 Caller Sorry.

51:36 Adam I never did get an answer.

51:37 Drew Yeah. Where were you?

51:39 Caller My bathtub.

51:39 Drew Your bathtub.

51:40 Adam You're in the tub.

51:41 Caller Right. I can't wake my parents.

51:42 Drew Sorry.

51:43 System of a Down That's kind of cool, actually.

51:44 Caller Yeah.

51:44 System of a Down You're calling from the bathtub. I like that.

51:46 Drew Yeah.

51:46 Caller Me too.

51:47 Drew But there's no water in the tub, right?

51:49 Caller No.

51:49 Drew She's lying down.

51:50 System of a Down Okay. Well, then that made it lever.

51:52 Caller All right. Okay, guys. I have a confession to make.

51:55 Drew You made up your question. Yeah.

51:57 Caller Okay.

51:58 Caller It's really important what I have to ask you. Okay?

52:02 Adam Yeah. Go ahead.

52:03 System of a Down We're on pins and needles.

52:05 Caller Well, okay. There's this guy and, okay, I'm not really 18. I'm 17.

52:11 And there's this guy and I'm like in love with him.

52:14 Drew Wow.

52:15 Caller And he lives like seven hours away from me. He lives like in Arizona or something.

52:21 Adam Is that seven hours when you're walking or is that in a car?

52:24 Caller In a car.

52:24 Adam I see.

52:25 Caller And I'm obsessed with him and I've been obsessed with him for like two years.

52:29 Adam Yeah.

52:30 Caller And I just, it's like cutting into like my social life and like, I don't like guys my own age.

52:36 Drew Who is this guy?

52:37 Caller Huh?

52:38 Drew Who is this guy?

52:39 Caller Oh, this guy that I was friends with.

52:41 Adam Oh, I see. Well, that's totally different. It's that guy.

52:45 Drew I thought only guys did this to themselves. You know?

52:48 Adam Yeah. I mean, got obsessed about people that you couldn't handle. Far away. How old is he?

52:53 Caller He's like four years older than me.

52:55 Adam Yeah. Why didn't you get together with him when you were around him?

52:59 Caller Because I didn't like him when I was around him.

53:01 Adam Okay, baby. You got problems.

53:04 Caller No.

53:04 Drew Oh, yes.

53:05 Adam Yes. Why didn't you like him when you were around him?

53:08 Caller Like, I thought he was like annoying, like around.

53:10 Drew Yeah, but he will be annoying next time you're around him, too.

53:12 Adam Yeah. It's going to take you five minutes to be annoyed by him.

53:15 Caller What?

53:16 Adam Would you shut up when I'm talking, please? Jesus Christ. If I were in there, I'd run the shower on you, sober you up. Now, listen, you were around the guy, you didn't like him. So why are you so obsessed with him now? Okay. The point is, is you're not.

53:33 Drew It's not real.

53:33 Adam If you spent any real time with the guy, you'd be right back to feeling the way you were when you spent time with him the first time, which is annoyed.

53:40 Drew It's not about him, it's about obsession.

53:41 Right.

53:42 Adam Okay. Meaning, if he lived next door to you, you wouldn't be into him.

53:46 I don't know.

53:47 Drew No.

53:48 Adam You hung out with him for how long?

53:51 Caller Um, like two years.

53:53 Adam Two years and nothing happened?

53:55 Caller Yeah.

53:55 Adam Okay. Now you're obsessed with him? And hold on a second. A guy would never do this. Do you know what I mean? There's no way a guy would hang out with a chick for two years, be annoyed by her, not into her at all, then have her move halfway across the country and really be obsessed.

54:12 System of a Down I don't even think this is for real.

54:13 Drew No, I think it is.

54:14 Adam Oh, she means it.

54:15 Drew Yeah, I think it is.

54:16 Adam Because she sounds like an idiot. She's got that feeling.

54:17 Drew Yeah, I got that feeling.

54:18 Adam Yeah. Sally? Okay, listen, you have to start participating in life in your hometown, all right? You there? Yeah. Okay.

54:29 Drew That's what's missing. You've got to start taking care of yourself. If life starts filling up, the obsessions will start dropping out.

54:37 Adam Yeah.

54:37 System of a Down Or at least let the guy know.

54:40 Drew He's a pain in the ass. She doesn't like him.

54:42 Adam All right. Let me say. Sally?

54:43 Caller Yes.

54:44 Adam What if you called the guy and told him how you felt?

54:47 Caller I don't know. Do you think I was thinking about it? Should I?

54:50 Adam Well, do you think he likes you?

54:52 Caller I don't know.

54:53 Adam Well, why didn't anything happen? I mean, he didn't make a move on you in those two years?

54:58 Caller Not really.

54:59 System of a Down There's an easy way for you to find out if he likes you.

55:01 Caller Yeah.

55:01 System of a Down Ask him.

55:03 Caller Ask him?

55:04 System of a Down Simple.

55:04 Caller Okay.

55:05 System of a Down Then you can stop obsessing over him.

55:07 Caller Yeah. All right.

55:10 Adam All right, Sally.

55:11 Drew Good luck.

55:11 Caller Thanks.

55:12 Adam All right. She's not going anywhere.

55:15 Drew She needs medication.

55:16 Adam She does?

55:17 System of a Down You guys got to get new sticky paper.

55:20 Adam Josh?

55:21 Drew Hello?

55:22 Adam Josh, you're 17.

55:23 Caller Yeah, I just want to say hi to System of a Down.

55:26 System of a Down What's up?

55:27 Caller Hey, you guys like freaking rock.

55:28 System of a Down Thank you very much.

55:29 Caller Adam and Drew, you guys are like freaking bad.

55:32 Drew And the other guy?

55:33 Caller Yeah, I just wanted to ask System of a Down a question.

55:36 System of a Down Sure.

55:37 Caller When you guys play, how do you guys get all that energy, man? You guys are freaking crazy.

55:42 Drew Let me just add, do you remember we sat backstage in one of their concerts?

55:45 Adam Yes, and watched them scream and play their brains out for a good hour. That was in a parking lot.

55:52 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

55:54 Drew I had a headache just walking across the parking lot listening.

55:57 Adam We're behind them.

55:58 Caller Gee, thanks.

55:59 System of a Down That's going to make everybody go blind.

56:02 Drew I'm an old man. Do you understand?

56:03 Adam It's a compliment.

56:04 Drew Yeah, exactly. It's a high compliment.

56:06 System of a Down By the way, what's up with the cops in Pasadena? They need to relax.

56:09 Adam Yep.

56:10 System of a Down I never did get a chance to comment on that.

56:11 Drew That wasn't in Pasadena. Yeah, it was. It was like Arcadia or something.

56:15 System of a Down Arcadia or wherever it was.

56:16 Adam It was steeper.

56:16 System of a Down They were rough, man. They were not very cool to the fans.

56:19 Adam Yeah, they pulled up on their horses. But to be fair to them, you guys played for a solid hour, didn't you?

56:26 System of a Down We were asked to.

56:27 System of a Down Started kind of. Yeah.

56:28 Adam All right. Hey, Josh.

56:29 System of a Down What was the question?

56:30 Caller Oh, I just wanted to ask, how do you get all that energy when you guys play, man?

56:36 Adam They love their work. What do you want them to say?

56:38 System of a Down We save it up all day long and we just explode at night. We really don't do anything. I can vouch for me and Daron. We do almost nothing all day long. And then for that one hour, we just let it all loose.

56:49 Drew What else going on, Josh?

56:50 Caller Yeah, okay. That's all I wanted to ask, though.

56:52 Drew All right. Good night.

56:53 Caller Cool. Bye.

56:54 Drew You know, we need to move through some calls here is the problem.

56:56 Adam Is that what it is?

56:57 Drew We're languishing with these people.

56:58 Adam All right. You're right. Here we go. Alyssa? Hello? You're 14? Yeah. Thanks for calling. Call again. Is that what you're talking about? I got her. She was only on the air for four seconds.

57:12 Drew Alyssa, what's going on?

57:13 Okay. I went to the Summer Sanitarium Tour on Saturday, and you guys are really great. I love you.

57:18 System of a Down Thank you.

57:19 Okay.

57:20 System of a Down We're getting good at this simultaneously.

57:21 There were a lot of people there that were smoking marijuana around us, and I'm on probation, actually, at the time, and they're drug testing me.

57:27 Drew What are you on probation for?

57:29 Grand Theft. I was in Bezlig Money.

57:31 Drew Wow.

57:31 Adam And you're 14.

57:32 Caller Yeah.

57:33 Drew From whom? Okay.

57:35 Caller I had taken my grandma's credit card, and I racked up probably about $27,000 on it.

57:39 Drew Oh, my God.

57:40 Adam What did you buy besides concert tickets, this System of a Down?

57:44 Caller Just clothes, and I got some drugs and stuff, too, and that's part of the reason why I'm being drug tested.

57:48 System of a Down Do drug dealers take credit cards now?

57:51 Caller No. I'd go to an ATM machine at Costco, and like use it, and all you have to do is type in a credit card number and your address and stuff, and it will give you cash.

57:59 System of a Down Now millions of people know how to do it.

58:01 Adam Great. Everyone can rate their grandma. Great.

58:04 Caller Okay. My question is, there were a lot of people that were smoking marijuana around me, and I was breathing it in, and I was wondering if it would help my people.

58:10 Adam No.

58:11 Drew Now, wait a minute. Were you like inviting them under a blanket, and then...

58:16 Adam You guys in a big trash bag?

58:17 Drew Yeah.

58:18 Caller No. It was the people around me that were just like... It was all going back on me, and I could definitely... It was a really thick smell, and I could smell it a lot.

58:25 Drew Did you get higher?

58:27 Caller No, not really. I mean, I started to feel like a little dizzy, but I wasn't like higher.

58:31 Drew That's because you were, again, trying to...

58:33 System of a Down It wasn't a hot box.

58:35 Caller It was in there, but...

58:36 Drew Yeah, I'll figure that. No, you'll be fine.

58:37 Adam All right. So you didn't smoke any?

58:39 Caller No, I didn't.

58:40 Drew Don't worry.

58:40 Adam Okay. Then you're fine. And why did it take them so long to catch up to you? I mean, 27 grand.

58:45 Caller Well, it's because I was kind of like taking the bills and keeping them from her so that she couldn't find them.

58:51 Adam I see.

58:51 Caller It racked up probably about three months, and she has really good credit, or she did.

58:55 Adam Had. Oh, yeah, right. Right.

58:57 Caller So that's what happened with that.

58:58 Adam All right. You two must be very close.

59:00 Caller Not anymore, actually. It's a complicated situation. I don't live with her anymore. She fled the state after that happened when I went to Juvenile Hall.

59:07 Adam She fled?

59:08 Drew Why?

59:08 System of a Down This is a book.

59:09 Caller She fled the state.

59:10 Caller Why?

59:11 Caller Because I don't know. She just got really depressed, and at like one point, while I was in Juvenile Hall, she tried to kill herself.

59:16 Caller Oh, my God.

59:17 Caller And she's now in Utah, and...

59:19 System of a Down That's not very cool.

59:20 Adam But listen, when old people leave, it's called moving. It's not called fleeing the state.

59:26 Caller She just totally took up her stuff and left. I mean, she didn't even take like her bed or anything. She just packed up her clothes.

59:31 Drew She moved.

59:32 Adam She moved, though. She relocated.

59:34 System of a Down Did she have a bed or did you jack that, too?

59:36 Drew Fleeing the state implies...

59:37 System of a Down No, she bought the bed.

59:40 Drew Fleeing the state implies running away from the law.

59:43 Caller Oh, yeah, but she was just like, she didn't... They were supposed to take video statements of her and, you know, what she had to say about the whole situation, and she wouldn't even do that.

59:51 System of a Down She probably didn't want to get you in more trouble than you were in, because she's your grandmother and she loves you.

59:55 Caller That's probably true, but...

59:56 System of a Down Oh, that's great...

59:57 Caller .I have never lived with for 12 and a half years. I've never even known my mother.

1:00:00 System of a Down All right.

1:00:01 Adam Well, that's why you're a sociopath.

1:00:03 Caller Yeah.

1:00:04 Adam Yeah, but don't take it out on your poor grandma just because you have no conscience. You know what I'm saying?

1:00:08 Caller Well, I do have a conscience. I just figured that since I was kind of like the only beneficiary that I could just kind of like take it out.

1:00:15 Adam Jack her. Right.

1:00:16 Drew All right. That is not a conscience. Listen, a conscience means you take into account other...

1:00:22 Caller Well, I knew what it was.

1:00:23 Caller Whoa.

1:00:24 Drew Other people's feelings.

1:00:26 Adam All right.

1:00:27 Drew Can you do that?

1:00:28 Caller I felt bad about it.

1:00:29 Drew Yeah, because you got caught.

1:00:30 System of a Down Yeah, you sound like you feel bad.

1:00:31 Adam I don't have any kids for a while, right?

1:00:33 Caller Yeah.

1:00:34 Adam OK. Good.

1:00:35 Drew About 30 years.

1:00:36 Adam Yeah. Listen, this is what happens. When your parents cramp on you, you just cramp on the world. The world becomes your kiddie box. You know what I'm saying?

1:00:46 Drew If you aren't given what you need to develop, the world, you never connect with the world. It doesn't matter.

1:00:53 Adam Yeah, but even your own grandma just looks like a big cash register to you.

1:00:57 Drew But that's the point. There's no empathy. The other people don't really exist.

1:01:00 Caller That is so unfair.

1:01:01 Drew You can't really acknowledge their feelings.

1:01:03 Adam Right. They just exist to serve you.

1:01:05 Drew To serve you. That's what sociopathy is.

1:01:07 Adam Chris, I think we can get into this. Could I start it? Is it religion?

1:01:11 Drew You can get a little touch of it.

1:01:12 Adam Thank you. Chris, you're 14.

1:01:15 Caller Yeah. I actually have a couple of questions for System of a Down.

1:01:18 Adam Welcome to the Adam Show, by the way. Go ahead and ask the band a question. As long as I'm woven into it somehow, like what do I think of the band? Something like that.

1:01:30 Caller Well, I think you'll want to know the answer to this question.

1:01:32 Caller All right.

1:01:33 Caller How did you guys get started? Because we're trying to start a band, my friends and I, but all we have is a drummer and me, and I play nothing.

1:01:42 System of a Down I'm sure that you can find other musicians.

1:01:44 System of a Down Try to find an instrument and learn how to play it, and that's step one.

1:01:50 Caller Yeah. Okay.

1:01:51 Adam Yeah.

1:01:52 Drew How dare you?

1:01:52 Adam How dare you dash his plans? He plays nothing yet.

1:01:57 Drew He's disappointed.

1:01:58 Adam He's disappointed.

1:01:59 System of a Down Can you sing? Can you sing?

1:02:01 Caller I sing and I write songs.

1:02:02 System of a Down Okay, then just pursue it with everything that you've got and don't give up.

1:02:06 Adam What? Have you written some songs? Can you sing us one of them?

1:02:09 Caller I can't sing them because it's...

1:02:10 System of a Down She's on fire.

1:02:12 Caller We don't have any music yet.

1:02:13 Adam Yeah, but if you're a good singer, you sing a cappella.

1:02:16 Drew No, you're saying he's written words, no music.

1:02:19 System of a Down Do you have a band?

1:02:21 Drew He has a drummer.

1:02:22 Caller Yeah, I have me and a drummer.

1:02:23 Adam What's a song that you like by another band?

1:02:27 Caller I don't know.

1:02:29 Adam You don't have any favorite song right now?

1:02:35 Caller Rolls, but I can't really sing that because my throat doesn't like.

1:02:37 Adam What song do you like?

1:02:39 Caller Sugar.

1:02:40 Adam All right, well sing it.

1:02:41 Caller I can't because my throat doesn't like color.

1:02:43 Adam Come on. Sing a song you can sing. Come on.

1:02:47 Drew Some enchanted evening.

1:02:49 Adam Yeah, sing a standard, a ballad.

1:02:52 System of a Down If I was a rich man.

1:02:54 Adam Come on.

1:02:55 System of a Down Highway run.

1:02:56 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:02:57 Caller More yell than sing.

1:02:59 Adam Oh, you do more yell. So you don't sing and you don't play an instrument, but you're pissed off that the band isn't working out?

1:03:05 Caller It's working because my other friends are taking guitar lessons.

1:03:09 Adam Okay.

1:03:09 System of a Down How old are you guys? 14?

1:03:11 Caller Yeah.

1:03:11 System of a Down Well, 14, I was playing in a garage in front of nobody, man. Just take your time.

1:03:19 System of a Down Just enjoy it. That's what it's there for.

1:03:22 System of a Down We didn't get this band together till I was like 20, man.

1:03:26 Adam And we haven't had one of these questions in a while, but we have had them quite a bit in the past. People ask a band, how did you get started or what's the key or who do you know? You have to love to do whatever it is you end up doing. You do it because you love to do it. And you do it for a long time and you do it for a lot of hours and you do it for free and you do it without any fanfare and God willing it works out. But I don't know what the answer could possibly be to that question other than do it.

1:03:57 System of a Down Well, wait for your friends to learn how to play the guitar first.

1:04:00 System of a Down Basically, you just do it for the love of it and if it happens, it happens and if it doesn't you have no regrets because you just do it for the love of it.

1:04:07 Adam That's right. Josh?

1:04:10 Drew Josh. Caller who goes by Josh.

1:04:13 System of a Down Yeah.

1:04:14 Adam What's up?

1:04:15 Caller First of all, I'd like to say hey, the System of a Down, I went to the Sanatorium Tour at the Coliseum on Saturday.

1:04:23 System of a Down Awesome.

1:04:24 Caller You guys were great.

1:04:25 Adam Which Coliseum?

1:04:27 Caller The LA Coliseum.

1:04:28 Adam Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know they had stuff going on there anymore.

1:04:33 System of a Down Wow. It's like breaking down. Wow.

1:04:37 Caller All right.

1:04:38 System of a Down It's actually a nice venue.

1:04:39 Adam What's up, Josh?

1:04:42 Caller I had a question for System of a Down also. You guys, someone played one song for Metallica because he had to sit out for one song.

1:04:52 Caller That would be me.

1:04:53 Adam Yeah.

1:04:53 Caller Okay. That was you Saturday night?

1:04:55 Adam Okay.

1:04:55 Caller You did a good job, man.

1:04:56 System of a Down Thank you.

1:04:57 Caller And how did he injure his back, you know?

1:05:00 System of a Down I think he was wakeboarding.

1:05:01 System of a Down Yeah.

1:05:02 System of a Down Which is, if you're familiar with it, it's kind of like, not really like water skiing, but similar.

1:05:08 Caller Okay.

1:05:08 System of a Down What was that?

1:05:09 Adam I think it was a hand field hurting his back.

1:05:12 System of a Down Yeah. So luckily, that just sounds bad.

1:05:16 Adam That always hurts my teeth, Adam.

1:05:17 System of a Down Sounds like the dentist. Yeah.

1:05:19 Adam All right. Josh, I'm going to hang up on you, all right? Okay. Listen, here's what the problem is. There's a lot of a system of a down fans tonight. And this is a big compliment to you guys because we have bands sit in here all night. No one says anything to them the whole night. We answer a bunch of questions. Everyone calls in, and here's why these calls are taking so long. Everyone wants to talk to the band for a while and then get to their question. And if you want to call in and talk to the band, that's fine, but we're not going to get to your question, too. So it's one or the other. What do you say? All right. Here we go. Liz. Yeah.

1:05:54 Caller Hi there.

1:05:55 Adam You're 25. What's up?

1:05:56 Caller Yeah. Okay. Well, let's see. I have a pretty simple question, straightforward. Let's see. I have a boyfriend. We've been dating for about a year and a half, and we're doing the long-distance thing right now. And is it technically cheating if I make out with other girls?

1:06:14 Drew Liz, you're 25. You're not 14. I mean...

1:06:19 Caller Yeah, but I mean, like, technically. Just what do you guys say?

1:06:22 Drew Technically, any intimate contact with another human... Well, another mammal is cheating.

1:06:31 Caller Another mammal.

1:06:32 Adam What are you doing with these women? What do you mean making out?

1:06:35 Caller Yeah, just like making out, you know.

1:06:37 Adam Just like what? Kissing?

1:06:38 Caller Yeah.

1:06:39 Adam That's it? What's in it for you? Just a kiss?

1:06:42 Drew Chaos.

1:06:44 Caller Um, I don't know.

1:06:45 Caller Just, I don't know. Something to do. Drunk.

1:06:48 System of a Down You like the attention?

1:06:49 Drew Chaos.

1:06:50 Caller Yeah, I guess so. I'm, you know, kind of lonely.

1:06:52 Drew What's the long-distance situation?

1:06:54 Caller Long-distance situation? Um, he's about two and a half hours away and incarcerated.

1:06:58 Adam And his wife?

1:06:58 Drew And incarcerated.

1:06:59 Caller And incarcerated.

1:07:00 Adam Oh, really?

1:07:01 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:07:02 System of a Down So, I'm, I'm more single. My husband's on death row.

1:07:05 Adam When is he?

1:07:05 System of a Down You know what movie that's from? Call In Now.

1:07:08 Adam When is he getting out?

1:07:09 Caller When's he getting out? Um, maybe like another year or so.

1:07:12 Adam What'd he do?

1:07:13 Caller What'd he do? Oh. Um, uh, arm robbery.

1:07:17 Adam Really?

1:07:18 Caller Yeah.

1:07:19 Adam Wow. You're a real winner, Liz. What's up with you? Are you, you fat?

1:07:24 Caller No. Oh, gosh. No.

1:07:26 Adam No.

1:07:27 Caller No, no, no.

1:07:28 Adam So what are you? You're fat. Thank you, Drew. Why are you hanging around with this guy?

1:07:32 Caller I get to, no. What?

1:07:33 Adam Why are you hanging out with this guy?

1:07:36 Caller Well, you know, I mean, he's actually a really cool person. I think, you know.

1:07:40 Drew No, he's arm robber.

1:07:41 Caller Yeah, he is.

1:07:42 Adam Yeah. Drew, don't rush to judgment.

1:07:44 Caller You're overweight.

1:07:45 Adam And, uh, what, do you get conjugal visits with the guy?

1:07:48 Caller No, no. Um, the state we live in won't allow things like that.

1:07:51 Adam Good. Where is that state? I like the move there.

1:07:55 Drew Utah?

1:07:56 Adam Where is it? Uh, Wisconsin. Good. I love that Wisconsin now. It's my new, my number one state. That and Armenia. Is that a state, Drew?

1:08:04 System of a Down It's a state of mind.

1:08:06 Adam All right. Hey, Liz? Yeah. You're pretty screwed up, right? Yes. You're a mess. Yes. What's up with you?

1:08:13 Caller Okay.

1:08:13 So technically it's a cheating.

1:08:14 Caller You say yes.

1:08:15 Adam Oh, who cares?

1:08:16 System of a Down Well, your boyfriend's probably kissing guys right now, so it doesn't really matter. Do what you want to do.

1:08:21 Adam He just blew this black dude to get a pack of cigarettes.

1:08:24 System of a Down No, he blew a black dude.

1:08:25 System of a Down That should make you feel better.

1:08:28 Adam That's right.

1:08:28 System of a Down That should make you feel a lot better.

1:08:30 System of a Down What? Excuse me?

1:08:31 Adam Liz. Okay, Liz.

1:08:32 System of a Down Your boyfriend's got his hands around his ankles right now. Don't worry about it. Go make out with whoever you want.

1:08:38 Adam Don't you ever get pregnant, you hear me? Do you have any kids?

1:08:42 Caller No, no, no.

1:08:43 Adam Good.

1:08:43 Drew Liz, you got up in our side.

1:08:44 Adam Good. Go lesbian. Go all the way. All right?

1:08:48 Caller Okay, great.

1:08:48 Adam Then where do you work? Some place that has a snack bar nearby. What kind of work do you do?

1:08:56 Caller I'm a waitress.

1:08:57 Adam I smell food on you. All right, baby.

1:09:00 Drew What kind of restaurant?

1:09:01 Caller Italian restaurant.

1:09:02 Adam Okay. But all the people there, and where are you? Wisconsin. They call it Italian food, right?

1:09:10 Drew Where in Wisconsin are you?

1:09:11 System of a Down The Black Knight. Italian.

1:09:13 Drew Where in Wisconsin are you?

1:09:15 System of a Down Madison.

1:09:16 Drew Madison. It's the one city we didn't go to.

1:09:17 Adam Right.

1:09:18 Drew Where they were serving the French fries with mayonnaise.

1:09:20 Adam Yeah, that's great.

1:09:20 Drew Yeah.

1:09:21 System of a Down Is that France or Wisconsin?

1:09:23 Adam Yeah. I'm sure she works at a fine Italian place where you can get some lasagna with a nice side of mayonnaise.

1:09:30 System of a Down The Black Knight.

1:09:32 Adam All right. Hey, Liz, listen, everyone, do not date the incarcerated. It sends a bad message to those of us who are on the outside who can't get laid.

1:09:40 System of a Down This is deja vu now.

1:09:41 Adam You know what I mean?

1:09:41 System of a Down We've done this before.

1:09:42 Adam We will take ourselves a little break. System of Down is with us, and we'll be back after this. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew. John and Daron are both here from System of a Down. System of a Down is also the name of the CD that we're going to hear something on or off of, actually, after this next call. We're just talking to John about his 30,000 comics he has. That's a lot of reading.

1:10:40 Caller So you're going to the convention to buy some of these comics.

1:10:42 Adam So you're going to the convention tomorrow.

1:10:43 System of a Down Yeah. San Diego Comic Book Convention.

1:10:46 Adam You're going to buy some stuff?

1:10:47 System of a Down I expect to.

1:10:48 Adam What's the most you'll pay for something?

1:10:50 System of a Down Depends on what it is. I've paid a couple of grand for a book.

1:10:54 Adam Really?

1:10:54 System of a Down What was it? It was a Batman 4.

1:10:59 Adam How long ago did you buy it?

1:11:00 System of a Down Two years ago.

1:11:01 Adam You think it's worth more now?

1:11:03 System of a Down I sold it already. Oh, you did?

1:11:05 Adam Did you make more?

1:11:06 System of a Down Yeah. I used to sell comic books also. That was what I did to make money.

1:11:11 Adam Wow.

1:11:11 System of a Down When we were struggling.

1:11:12 Adam Yeah. I was just looking at some sports memorabilia, jerseys and baseballs and stuff. I just said to whoever is next to me, I'm so glad I'm not into that. Because otherwise, I'd spend $3,500 on that baseball.

1:11:28 System of a Down That's me.

1:11:28 Adam I go nuts.

1:11:29 System of a Down I buy every jersey of every team in LA.

1:11:32 System of a Down They're not cheap, man. I'm going to buy a Sparks jersey just because I haven't seen anybody wearing that.

1:11:36 System of a Down No, no Sparks jerseys, man.

1:11:37 Adam Gary? Gary?

1:11:40 Caller Yeah.

1:11:41 Adam You're 23.

1:11:42 Caller Yeah.

1:11:43 Adam Yeah. Sorry for disturbing you, buddy.

1:11:46 Drew What's going on?

1:11:46 Not much. How you doing?

1:11:48 Drew Good.

1:11:49 Adam What's up?

1:11:49 I have a problem.

1:11:50 Adam OK.

1:11:51 A couple of weeks ago, me and my friends went down to an after hours club right here in LA. And we, you know, we took ecstasy, whatever. We're partying. The party was on. We're dancing, whatever. Afterwards, one of my close friends comes up to me and and he gets all emotional and he's talking to me and he tells me that he's gay and he tells me that he's had a crush on me.

1:12:15 Drew You're gay.

1:12:16 What? Who?

1:12:19 System of a Down I think that makes you gay.

1:12:21 You guys are trippin.

1:12:22 System of a Down I think that makes you gay.

1:12:24 Drew You're gay. How?

1:12:25 System of a Down Dog.

1:12:26 Drew How?

1:12:29 Caller I thought you could never get angry on ecstasy.

1:12:31 System of a Down Just so on the diso.

1:12:33 Caller Dog.

1:12:34 What?

1:12:35 Caller Hello?

1:12:36 Adam Daron, do you know who you're talking to?

1:12:37 System of a Down Yeah, we know who we're talking to.

1:12:38 Adam Who are we talking to?

1:12:39 System of a Down He's our friend Jack. And he's the gay guy. He's the one that told his friend he liked him. Jack is gay.

1:12:44 Adam Is this gay Jack?

1:12:45 Caller It's gay Jack.

1:12:48 Adam Jack Hoffman, I've heard about you.

1:12:51 Drew Jiggity.

1:12:52 Caller Hey John.

1:12:53 System of a Down Yeah.

1:12:53 Caller Are we throwing down tonight or what?

1:12:55 System of a Down You know this.

1:12:55 Caller All right, come here after.

1:12:57 Adam You guys are going to San Diego to go get a comic book.

1:13:02 Caller No, forget about the comic. All right.

1:13:04 System of a Down I gotta go, man.

1:13:05 Caller Later.

1:13:06 Adam All right, bye bye.

1:13:06 System of a Down Thanks for calling, Jack.

1:13:12 Adam You heard it from Drew. And Drew is a doctor. When he calls you gay, you're gay.

1:13:15 Drew You're gay.

1:13:16 Adam Thank you. Lisa.

1:13:18 Yes.

1:13:19 Adam What's up?

1:13:20 I have a boyfriend. I've been with him for about two and a half years. Lately, I've been hearing stuff about him going around with another girl named Kira. Yeah. I just wanted to know, should I confront him?

1:13:32 Drew Yeah, and then dump him.

1:13:33 Adam Who have you been hearing this from?

1:13:36 My best friend that introduced me to him, her name is Heather Swanson.

1:13:39 Drew Oh, I see.

1:13:40 Adam What's her middle name? I'm going to write her address again, phone number. We'd like to send her out a windbreaker.

1:13:47 System of a Down She gets a free system of a down windbreaker.

1:13:50 Drew This is how we tell when a call is bogus, Lisa, by the way.

1:13:53 Adam Yeah, when they work the entire name into the call.

1:13:57 System of a Down Send her a windbreaker.

1:13:58 Adam Christian?

1:13:59 Caller Yeah.

1:13:59 Adam You're 27?

1:14:01 Caller Yeah.

1:14:01 Adam Please tell us you have a problem.

1:14:04 Caller Well, actually, I just wanted to tell John that it is their fault.

1:14:09 Drew It's the system of a down.

1:14:09 Adam I do blame the band at this point.

1:14:11 Drew Yeah.

1:14:11 Caller John, it's me, Chris. Remember me?

1:14:15 Caller Remember Louie, Paula?

1:14:18 System of a Down Oh, yeah. What's up, man?

1:14:20 Caller You guys rock. I just want to let you guys know.

1:14:22 System of a Down You can call me off the air though, dude.

1:14:25 Adam Yeah. Let me just put this message out. Any friends or family members of System of a Down and want to speak to them, feel free to ring them up at home during the other 22 hours of the day when they're not in here.

1:14:36 Drew And 364 days of the year.

1:14:38 System of a Down I apologize to the people with real problems right now.

1:14:41 Adam All right. Well, we're going to-

1:14:41 System of a Down Not that I don't love and want to talk to my friends, but this is not the right time.

1:14:45 Adam We're going to get to one right now. Now, you guys listen.

1:14:47 System of a Down Even Gay Jack.

1:14:48 Adam We can't blame you for being so popular.

1:14:50 Drew Now, we're going to play a song.

1:14:51 Adam Ann, that's right. Ann, you're 28.

1:14:53 Caller I am.

1:14:54 Adam What's up?

1:14:54 Caller First, I wanted to tell you that in 1989, I was living in Santa Monica and I was 17 and pregnant, and I was listening to your show and something was very funny and I thought I wet myself and I actually went into labor while listening to your show.

1:15:11 Adam All right.

1:15:13 Caller I want to just tell you that I gave the child up for adoption.

1:15:16 Drew Oh, Ann, fantastic.

1:15:17 Caller I really wish that more girls that called you would seriously, seriously consider that as an option.

1:15:24 Drew I wish we as a society would take people like you and give you medals and trade puts.

1:15:29 Caller I mean, I was just as screwed up and as irresponsible and flaky as every other 17-year-old girl.

1:15:34 Drew But you had the wherewithal to make a choice that was on the best interest of the child.

1:15:39 Adam I'm still waiting for her to yell the System of a Down rules and hang up.

1:15:43 System of a Down Hey, it's me.

1:15:44 System of a Down Remember us?

1:15:46 System of a Down Do we know you?

1:15:47 Caller I think that I'm too old because I used to think that I was still on the cutting edge of alternative music and I've never even heard of the guys.

1:15:54 Adam Oh, how dare you.

1:15:56 Caller I know.

1:15:57 System of a Down We don't blame you.

1:15:58 Adam All right. So do you have a question?

1:16:00 Caller I do. I'm now 28 and I have a 3-year-old son who has an autistic spectrum disorder and he is taking three different medications. He's very, very violent and he's taking three different medications and I'm wondering, is this a lifelong thing? I mean, is he going to be a violent teenager and adult?

1:16:23 Adam I know what autism is, but what's the spectrum part?

1:16:26 Caller Well, it just means that they've widened the spectrum of different disorders that fit in that category.

1:16:32 Drew They have the minimal brain syndromes, this sort of thing.

1:16:35 Caller Right. He's pretty high functioning. If you saw him, you might just think that he was very, very hyperactive and very poorly behaved.

1:16:44 Drew In fact, as kids get older, sometimes their actual diagnosis clarifies or presents itself.

1:16:50 Adam Right.

1:16:50 Drew So a child that might have been called autistic spectrum might have an entirely, it might be bipolar or ADD when they're 18.

1:16:56 Adam Or sometimes it just gets downgraded to doofus. Doesn't it?

1:17:00 Drew But, Ann, the point is that it does change.

1:17:01 Adam That's what happened to me. I remember.

1:17:02 Drew It does change as they grow. And in my experience, and I'm certainly no expert in this area, it's difficult to predict what they're going to grow into.

1:17:10 Adam Hey, but, Ann, if he still is displaying violent tendencies by 13, you've got to put him down for the good of society. You know what I'm saying.

1:17:20 Caller And he tries his best to terminate our little one-year-old.

1:17:24 Drew What?

1:17:25 Caller I mean, it's horrible. We have a one-year-old son also. And he does horrible things to him. He tries to gouge on his eyes.

1:17:32 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. You're going to have to teach that one-year-old to fend for himself.

1:17:38 Caller Well, he's getting there. He's getting there.

1:17:40 Adam Really? I was kidding.

1:17:42 Caller To stay physically between them 24 hours a day. And my older son is taking Clonidine, Risperdal and Ritalin.

1:17:51 System of a Down That's a lot of medication for children.

1:17:54 Adam This is the three-year-old? I see. So you only have two boys?

1:17:58 Caller Two little boys.

1:17:59 Adam Oh, boy.

1:18:00 Caller Are those medications, Drew, that are lifelong?

1:18:03 Drew They will change.

1:18:04 Caller They will change?

1:18:05 Drew Yeah, they will change. So, but he's going to eat medicine his whole life for sure.

1:18:09 Adam That's a pretty freaky situation that he's trying to attack your one-year-old.

1:18:13 Caller It's horrible. It's horrible. You know, and I gave up this child ten years ago for adoption. I thought, I'm doing the right thing. I'm going to wait till, you know, things are perfect, have a child and I'll be a great parent. And now, you know, my situation. And it's just pretty disheartening. And the psychiatrists and millions of specialists don't want to give any, they won't tell me anything long-term.

1:18:33 Drew They can't, they can't.

1:18:34 Adam What are they, they don't know.

1:18:36 Drew These things are very hard to predict.

1:18:38 Caller But those medicines will change.

1:18:40 Drew The psychiatric medicines almost always change across a lifetime.

1:18:44 Adam Do you have a, is there a man around there?

1:18:46 Caller Yeah, I have a husband. We've been married for five years.

1:18:48 Adam Good. You need a guy around there. And you got to keep that one-year-old up on the top shelf, so the three-year-old doesn't get to him.

1:18:56 Caller Yeah, he's, it's scary. He actually, he stabbed me.

1:19:00 Adam He's like Chucky, that kid of yours. That's what I'm picturing. Are you guys picturing Chucky?

1:19:08 Well, there, he's the sweetest little boy you've ever seen.

1:19:11 System of a Down Oh, yeah, he sounds like it, except when he's got a switchblade.

1:19:15 Caller No, I was making dinner, and he's incredibly fast, and he...

1:19:19 System of a Down With a knife?

1:19:20 Caller Yeah.

1:19:21 Drew Did he have any...

1:19:22 System of a Down Throwing knives.

1:19:24 Adam Oh my God. Really, you need a priest.

1:19:26 Drew Anything happened to him in early, early in his infancy? Was he away from you for a long period of time or anything?

1:19:33 Caller He, no, I can't, no, he came out of me screaming and never stopped, so I couldn't find a babysitter for him.

1:19:38 System of a Down Does he have 666 in the back of his head?

1:19:40 Drew Well, why do you need a babysitter if you're with him all the time?

1:19:42 Caller No, I mean, like, even to go on a date with my husband.

1:19:45 Drew I see.

1:19:46 Adam All right.

1:19:46 Caller I would leave him with his grandparents, and, you know, they'd call me. He won't stop screaming. He won't stop screaming.

1:19:53 Adam Oh, boy. All right. Hey, Ann, my heart goes out to you.

1:19:56 System of a Down Sounds like the omen from Damien. Something that's unholy and evil.

1:20:01 Adam You got your hands full, honey.

1:20:03 Caller Thanks.

1:20:03 System of a Down You need to call the Black Knight.

1:20:05 System of a Down Chinagang Kabat.

1:20:07 Adam Yeah.

1:20:07 Caller I was wondering if Drew had any idea about those medications.

1:20:10 Drew Well, it's an interesting combination. It's a very aggressive combination. We're talking a 3-year-old. Respiratil is a major tranquilizer.

1:20:16 Adam Well, I guess they're trying to slow him down a little.

1:20:18 Drew Yeah. Rattling us for ADD, typically. Get him a drum set. And, yeah, get him activities.

1:20:24 Adam Drew, I don't know much about rearing kids, but a stabbing mom in the thigh, is that a timeout?

1:20:30 Drew She's going to need a lot of aggressive behavior management. She's going to need pharmacotherapy, and it's going to be a lifelong proposition.

1:20:37 Adam And listen, I really mean this for society at large. You need to hobble that kid so he can't move so fast or something, because this kid's going to be 11. He's going to kill your kid. You know what I mean? I mean, you know, I'm more into Darwinism than I am into human beings. I really am. I mean, I think if you got somebody and you know this person is violent and you know there's potential for trouble, and it's almost just sort of a matter of time before something happens to them. You can't let them out of the house. I mean, you can't let them in with the herd, so to speak. All right. We will take ourselves a break.

1:21:19 Drew We'll hear a song, aren't we?

1:21:20 Adam I know. But I think we're running late now. We ran it. I talked to that. That she was so provocative.

1:21:25 Caller No, let's play the song right now.

1:21:27 Adam Want to play it now?

1:21:27 Drew There you go.

1:21:28 Adam All right. We'll play it and then we'll just go on a break after that. What do you say? All right. We're going to hear suggestions from System of a Down. Yeah. System of a Down for you. We're just talking about how horrible it is, growing old, not having those flexible bones anymore and how painful life can be. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break, and we'll be back after this.

1:24:31 Caller Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready. Ready.

1:25:06 Adam It is Loveline of Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew. Phone number. Oh, forget about that phone number. Let's hop back on the phones. John and Darren are both here from System of a Down, and we'll really see if we can get through some calls now. Adrienne?

1:25:19 Yes.

1:25:19 Adam You're 20.

1:25:20 Caller Yes.

1:25:20 Adam You heard Paxil decreases your sex drive.

1:25:23 Caller Yeah.

1:25:24 Adam Do you take Paxil?

1:25:25 Caller Yeah, I've been on it for like four and a half years.

1:25:27 Adam And has it decreased your sex drive?

1:25:30 Caller Yes.

1:25:30 Drew Oh, it shuts it down.

1:25:31 Caller Yeah.

1:25:32 Drew You got no sex drive.

1:25:33 Caller Well, I wasn't having sex four years ago.

1:25:36 Drew No, but now, it's particularly for women, the serotonin-reptic inhibitors, it makes sex seem like weird. Like, I can't even understand it. You're so far away from it oftentimes.

1:25:45 Caller Yeah. And because I'm in a long-distance relationship, every time he comes out here, he's excited to see me. Sure.

1:25:55 Adam Can you get off Paxil for a week when he comes out there, just for a good reaming?

1:26:01 Caller I have tried getting off of it, and it's really something that...

1:26:04 Drew You can't stop it suddenly, that's for sure. You'll have a withdrawal.

1:26:07 Caller I do, and I really go bonkers when I'm off of it.

1:26:10 Drew Yeah, well, you got to come off it slowly if you are going to come off it. But are you having any trouble with orgasm function also?

1:26:15 Caller Um, yeah, a little bit.

1:26:17 Drew Yeah, that's Paxil.

1:26:19 Adam Well, can she get some of that wellbutrin or something?

1:26:21 Drew Yeah, you can add wellbutrin or you can switch to wellbutrin. Some people are even using Viagra for women. Yeah, I was about to say. Remeron is another thing.

1:26:28 Adam I thought they did a test though.

1:26:30 Drew Sarazone.

1:26:30 Adam Okay, here's the deal and it's kind of ironic. I always want to say to these women, listen, you love this guy. He's a great guy, right? Right. You haven't seen him for three months because he lives in Chicago, right? Just hold still. Let him get his rocks off a little. And they can't do it. And I thought to myself, women are much more equipped to be able to sort of sleepwalk through sex physically, but emotionally, they won't do it.

1:26:57 Drew Impossible.

1:26:58 Adam Men can sleepwalk through sex emotionally, but physically, obviously, if it ain't happening, it ain't happening.

1:27:04 Drew That's interesting.

1:27:05 Adam And if you put a man's brain into a woman's body who wasn't interested in sex, he'd be like, listen, I'm going to get in my back and I'm just going to hold still. And listen, you could even say to the guy, I ain't too into this. You don't mind if I watch a little TV or something. Do me doggy, I'll face the set. Go as fast as you want. Whatever it takes. You want to put a porn in? Is that going to shave a few minutes off it? And most guys would be like, most guys would be like, this is the greatest woman in the world. I love this woman to death. But women can't do it, and yet they can so easily. And that's why I always say to them, just hold still, let the guy jump on you for a few minutes. All right, Devin?

1:27:48 Caller Yeah.

1:27:49 Adam You're 13.

1:27:50 Caller Yeah.

1:27:51 Adam What's up?

1:27:53 Caller When I masturbate, I get all depressed for some reason.

1:27:59 Drew Oh, that's like Adam.

1:28:00 Adam Yeah, I get disgusted with myself and announce never again. And then 15 minutes later, I'm like, well, maybe once. Oh, that's it. You know how the Pavlovian dogs would salivate when they heard the bell? Well, my penis starts to drip when I hear the Taboo II theme song.

1:28:19 Drew Three notes.

1:28:22 Adam Are you religious, champ, Devon?

1:28:26 Caller Not really.

1:28:27 Drew Did somebody tell you this is a bad thing?

1:28:29 Caller No.

1:28:29 Adam All right. Well, then get over it.

1:28:30 Drew People feel a certain amount of shame. They feel sort of like, men often feel like they should be able to do something more productive with that energy. Right. Like, what am I doing?

1:28:39 Adam Well, also when you're 13, it might take you a little bit longer.

1:28:43 Caller Yeah.

1:28:44 Adam Does it take you a while?

1:28:45 Caller Yeah.

1:28:45 Caller A little while.

1:28:46 Adam What are you good for? How many times a day?

1:28:50 Caller Two or three.

1:28:51 Adam Oh, okay. Well, 13.

1:28:52 Drew Each time you get disgusted and depressed.

1:28:55 Adam Yeah. That's another thing that's funny about guys, too. Guys are like, I get an excruciating pain in my side whenever I masturbate. It feels like someone took a rusty sprinkler key and actually pierced my liver with it. How many times do you masturbate? About four times a day. That's the beauty of guys. If a woman experienced pain or humiliation or whatever, she'd do it once and be like, not for me. Guys are like, yeah, I get suicidal after I masturbate. How many times do you masturbate? Three times a day? Wow. That's a lot of killing yourself, isn't it? Listen, you'll push through. There's this thing. Well, here's what it is. You'll push through. I think most guys can identify with this. They start masturbating, especially if they start at like 13, a relatively young age. They feel a little weird about it. It feels a little dirty, feels a little strange. Basically, you don't let yourself enjoy it even though you're compelled to do it. But then you get to a certain point where you just go, F it, I'm in. This is a way of life. Screw it. You know what I mean? And you'll get to that point very soon. Don't worry. Stacey?

1:30:10 Caller Yeah?

1:30:11 Adam You're 15. What's up?

1:30:13 Caller Well, my friend, she's got a problem.

1:30:16 Caller She lets her dog lick her out, and I don't know if it's bad for her, and I want her to stop. I don't know how to get her to stop.

1:30:22 Drew I don't know that it's... There's no medical issue with it, at least, to speak of.

1:30:27 Caller I heard that dog's tongues are the worst thing because they have so many diseases and stuff.

1:30:31 Caller Is that gonna hurt her?

1:30:32 Adam I always hear that dog's mouths are cleaner than humans, so that always sounds ridiculous to me.

1:30:37 Drew A lot more. A lot more clean.

1:30:39 Adam A lot cleaner, a dog's mouth. Why is that?

1:30:42 Drew It's just what grows in the... I mean, a cat's mouth is the bad one.

1:30:46 Adam Ah, yeah, but that...

1:30:46 Drew Cat bites are bad.

1:30:47 Adam That'll pull your clit right off on those cat tongues. I'll tell you firsthand. It's like rubbing 60 grit sandpaper against that area. No, no.

1:30:56 System of a Down So, tell her to stick with the rover.

1:30:58 Adam Yeah. Unless you rub a lot of coke on it, like, a well anyway. Stacey?

1:31:02 Caller How do I get her to stop?

1:31:04 Drew Well, in my experience, people that do that kind of behavior got some pretty heavy stuff going on, usually emotionally. What's going on with her?

1:31:10 Adam She was raped by a raccoon when she was four.

1:31:12 Drew Yeah, something like that.

1:31:14 Caller She was raped, but not by a raccoon.

1:31:15 Adam She was.

1:31:16 Drew Yeah. By whom?

1:31:18 Adam Who?

1:31:20 Caller Huh?

1:31:20 Adam Who raped her?

1:31:22 Caller Uh, some Mexican guy came up to her.

1:31:24 Adam Well, no duh, but did she know the guy?

1:31:28 Drew Hell was she?

1:31:29 Caller Right now?

1:31:30 Drew Hell was she when that happened?

1:31:31 Caller Oh, she was like 13 or something.

1:31:34 Drew And what happened to her before that? Anything?

1:31:36 Adam Okay.

1:31:37 Drew I bet it did.

1:31:38 Adam Hey, Stacey, this is a friend of yours, right?

1:31:40 Drew Yeah.

1:31:40 Adam All right. Why don't you tell her that you think she should get some help, not for the dog, but for the rape, okay? But other than that, if your friends are going down a weird dog-licking path and you're not into it or you don't approve of it, then break it off. Everyone, listen, it's good to be good to your friends, but if they're doing stuff that you ain't into, whether they're racist or they're drug addicts or whatever it is they're worshipping Satan, whatever it is that they're into, you should voice your opinion, but after that, you go the other direction.

1:32:13 Drew It's interesting people that get involved with animals like this very often are sort of traumatized or abandoned early in childhood. So relating to an animal, same as a human. They don't really acknowledge the existence of other people in the same way that normal people do.

1:32:25 Adam Right.

1:32:26 Drew And animal, person, same kind of contact, animal's less hassle.

1:32:30 System of a Down There are certain shows you can participate in South of the Border.

1:32:34 Adam Oh yes. I like, by the way, I like the people get really outraged about the dog. You know what I mean? They're like, that dog's being abused, he's being exploited. That dog was knee deep in another dog's ass last time he was at a park. You really think he cares? Listen, I wish I could get a whole little 15 year old. You know what I'm saying? Please.

1:32:56 System of a Down 15 will get you 20.

1:32:56 Drew I beg your pardon.

1:32:57 Caller You know what I'm saying?

1:32:58 Adam I'm saying dogs, they eat meat by-products and sniff ass for a living.

1:33:04 System of a Down Not to mention that they eat crap.

1:33:06 Adam And lick, eat feces and lick ball. That's what they do. So a little 15 year old, that's a nice step up for a dog. It really is. Compared to the normal dog regimen, little 15 year old, that's a step in the right direction.

1:33:21 Drew We gotta break.

1:33:22 Adam We do?

1:33:22 Drew Yeah.

1:33:23 Adam Is it that time? All right. We're gonna do that. We'll be back with System of a Down and you to wrap up after this.

1:33:29 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Loveline will be right back.

1:34:10 Adam All right, Drew, we're gonna go get a shawarma plate.

1:34:13 Drew Right now.

1:34:13 Adam And some hummus and a nice...

1:34:16 Drew Lulustone.

1:34:16 Adam Nice yogurt soda to wash it down with. That is it for the show. I want to thank Danielle for doing a great job at answering the phones and making everything happen around here. Producer Ann for putting her feminine stink on this show. And of course, Engineer Anderson for sliding those potentiometers at all the right times and pushing the buttons with the applause. I want to thank Darren and John for coming in here from System of Down. Always a good time. Go out and get the System of Down CD. Look for the new CD coming out in a while. Actually, don't even look. Wait for it. They'll be on here plugging it. Thanks, guys. We appreciate it.

1:34:54 System of a Down Thanks for having us, man.

1:34:55 Adam And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo. You don't mind if I eat while I'm thumbing you, do you?

1:35:02 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, July 20, 2000