Episode 1000754887192

3:10 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, coast to coast.

3:21 Voiceover That's a classic. It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and an addiction medicine specialist. Greg Grunberg is our guest tonight. You know him from Felicity and you'll know him starting tomorrow from Hollow Man, which is the big movie we've been seeing all the commercials for with Elizabeth Hsu and Kevin Bacon and that is out starting tomorrow. And I guess it's the big movie of the weekend.

3:52 Greg Grunberg Hopefully. Hopefully the huge premiere.

3:55 Adam Well, I've been bombarded with commercials. I've seen billboards and commercials and it's been non-stop.

4:03 Greg Grunberg We had the premiere last night and the thing is just really scary and Paul Verhoeven directed it and it's a great movie. It's just a great, it's this huge movie, Special Effects. And it's actually the Human Anatomy. I mean, it's very detailed and as far as I can tell accurate. You'll tell me when you see the movie.

4:18 Drew When I see it.

4:19 Greg Grunberg Yeah, but.

4:20 Adam Drew will never see it. But anyway, go ahead.

4:22 Greg Grunberg Exactly.

4:23 Adam Well, maybe.

4:23 Drew I've never seen a film.

4:24 Adam If they show it on the LA to New York flight. Right.

4:27 Greg Grunberg If it goes straight to airplane.

4:28 Drew Maybe you'll see it.

4:29 Greg Grunberg No, it was exciting last night. And the response, the audience, which is an audience that would hate it normally, you know, like just Hollywood people.

4:36 Adam Right.

4:36 Greg Grunberg They were really into it. And it was fun.

4:38 Adam Well, I saw a thing on, I don't know if it's the Discovery Channel or what it was, but it was like the making of it and all the special effects wizardry that went on. And the way he goes invisible, unlike the other old invisible man who just went invisible and there was just a sunglasses and turban. They're floating. I think he wore Fez actually. But the point is, he broke down. In the new Hollow Man, he breaks down. I mean, the skin goes, then the muscles go, then the veins go, then the bones go. And it's really like the invisible man. Remember when you were a kid and you had that model?

5:15 Drew That was the visible man, though.

5:16 Adam Oh, that was the visible man?

5:17 Greg Grunberg That was the visible man.

5:18 Adam That's why it didn't do well in biology.

5:20 Greg Grunberg That's exactly what it is. And it's so detailed and creepy the way it happens. You inject him with serum and it just starts burning away in the skin, like you said, down to the bone. And the thing is that normally in another movie or in any other way of showing this, they would do quick cuts and a cheap version of it. The camera just stays right over the body. And we work on an ape. We work on... But Kevin, when he goes invisible and then we can't bring him back and he goes insane. And then it's, you know, it's this thriller.

5:47 Adam And that's the first 15 minutes. And then the next hour 45 he spends in a girl's junior high locker room. So that's where the real high jinks begin.

5:57 Greg Grunberg Hey, it's Paul Verhoeven's film.

5:59 Drew Then it's Corolla Man.

6:00 Adam Towel snapping out of thin air.

6:02 Greg Grunberg Right. Exactly. Well, it's not zapped. You remember zapped?

6:05 Adam Oh, one of my favorite movies, Scott Baio.

6:08 Greg Grunberg Yes, Willie Ames.

6:09 Adam Willie Ames, where we first saw the magic between those two.

6:13 Greg Grunberg That's right.

6:14 Adam Yeah, what chemistry those two had. See, he could through telepathy, lift girl skirts and get their bra off on occasion. But because it was probably PG-13 or R, he couldn't telepathically get the panties down. That's right.

6:30 Greg Grunberg He wasn't allowed to. Well, the panties come down in this film, I'll tell you that.

6:33 Adam Oh, good. Except for there's nothing under them, right? Right.

6:36 Greg Grunberg No, no, no, no, no. Kevin's panties come down because he's invisible, and if he wears clothing, he's walking around naked.

6:42 Adam So there's got to be a scene where he comes back naked. I don't want to ruin it.

6:45 Greg Grunberg I don't want to ruin it. No, I don't want to ruin it.

6:47 Adam You'd almost have to put that in there.

6:48 Greg Grunberg Absolutely, yeah.

6:49 Adam All right. And what is your part?

6:50 Greg Grunberg I play the cardiologist in the team of scientists working on this secret government experiment underground, 30 stories underground in the laboratory. Carter Abbey is my character name. And I'm sort of the comic relief. And I'm the newest member of the group and the last person to suspect that the head of the team is going to fall evil. So I'm on his team the whole time. And then-

7:11 Adam You've given something away here, by the way?

7:12 Greg Grunberg No, nothing. Giving nothing away.

7:14 Adam All right. Hey, what do you go with, invisible or fly? I mean, if you get a choice. You know what I mean?

7:21 Drew Oh, I fly.

7:22 Adam You fly?

7:23 Drew Yeah.

7:23 Adam Yeah. You're practically invisible now, that's right.

7:26 Greg Grunberg Invisible's gotta be fun. I mean, you know. But how-

7:31 Drew That's empty, not invisible.

7:32 Adam Oh, empty. That's right. That's right. Morally bankrupt. That's right. And Greg, you go with fly or invisible?

7:38 Greg Grunberg I go with invisible. Invisible, you can do anything you want. No one knows you're around.

7:42 Adam Yeah. My thing about flying is, flying is cool, but are you going from LA to New York? You'd be too tired. Or are you flapping your arms? And are you getting- Are you freezing? And are you crashing into, you know, power wires and stuff?

7:54 Greg Grunberg Yeah, there are a lot of things to think about.

7:55 Adam You're right.

7:56 Yeah.

7:56 Adam We- I mean-

7:57 All right.

7:57 Drew I'm invisible.

7:57 Greg Grunberg There you go.

7:58 Drew All right.

7:59 Greg Grunberg There you go.

8:00 Adam You know what's funny? I was thinking about the other day when it came to flying. I was thinking about Superman and how he flew. And I have no idea why I was thinking about this, but I was thinking, you know, Superman flew, and he flew pretty fast. But then there's other times he really had to fly fast, like when he had to get the world to spin backwards. Exactly. So it took him like, he'd take him, like to get through Manhattan, it took him like five minutes to fly, except for he would then later in the film, he would circumnavigate the globe in about three seconds a lap. And I thought, did he have a fast speed and a slow speed? And is he trying harder? You think he's working harder when he's flying faster?

8:36 Drew I think he's working harder.

8:36 Adam You think so?

8:37 Drew And you think of some weird s during that moment, too. Yeah, wow, what a thought.

8:40 Adam Well, it was always funny when Superman would lift a car over his head, but he'd grunt a little bit.

8:45 Drew Yeah.

8:45 Adam You know, like, hup!

8:47 Drew But then when he's holding the world on its axis. Right.

8:50 Greg Grunberg But my dad does that when he's putting on his shoes. He grunts. So Superman with a car, he got to give him something.

8:56 Adam But if you could lift just a whole building, would you be straining? Would it be the equivalent to you hoisting a crate of apples over your head? Do you think that would be it? And if so, then what would the earth be? You couldn't lift that because that'd be the equivalent to us lifting a car. Is that what I'm saying?

9:12 Greg Grunberg I'm confused. All right.

9:13 Adam Well, watch Hollow Man. That is Go See It. That comes out tomorrow.

9:17 Greg Grunberg Yeah.

9:18 Adam Chris and of course Felicity. You're 17. What's up?

9:23 Caller The other day, me and my girl was having sex in the car. And I was wondering, I didn't have a condom or anything. Okay.

9:29 I came and she wanted to keep on going.

9:32 And I put it back in after I dried up all the cum. You know what I mean?

9:35 I was wondering if, you know how a little bit of cum comes out afterwards?

9:39 Drew Yeah.

9:39 Adam Right.

9:39 Drew I was wondering if I could get her pregnant. You had a condom on in the first place?

9:42 No, I didn't at all.

9:44 Drew So you came inside of her?

9:46 Adam No, no.

9:46 I pulled it out.

9:47 Adam You pulled out. He came in the ashtray like a gentleman. And then wiped himself down with a Thomas Guide. And because he's all class, put it back in, right?

9:58 There you go.

9:58 Adam What kind of car was it just because it'll be funnier?

10:01 A 2000 Grand Damn GT.

10:03 Adam Nice.

10:04 Drew You could have gotten her pregnant before you came and then again afterwards. Yes, absolutely.

10:10 Yeah?

10:11 Drew Absolutely. You need to get her the morning after pill.

10:14 Oh, shoot.

10:15 Adam Can you do that?

10:17 Caller Yeah, but it was, damn, this was like two days ago.

10:22 Drew Well, you've got to do it now or tomorrow morning.

10:24 Adam You got three days.

10:24 Drew You got three days to do it. The clock is ticking. Okay?

10:28 Greg Grunberg It only takes a drop, right? Just a little drop.

10:30 Drew Yep. What's that?

10:31 Caller How long can the period be late?

10:32 How long can she be late on her period?

10:34 Drew What do you mean, how long can she be late?

10:35 Caller Say it's like, she usually has on the end of the month.

10:38 Drew Yeah.

10:39 She's already like the third of the month.

10:41 How long can she have, you know what I'm saying?

10:43 Drew Before what?

10:44 Adam Is it late? Did she miss her period?

10:46 I don't know. But how long? She says she usually has at the end of the month.

10:49 Drew What do you mean, how long can it be late?

10:51 Adam Chris, you're asking us, like, which color swatch do we like better, except for you're not showing us either one? You know, that's what this question is.

10:59 How longer can she, I mean, how late can she be?

11:03 Drew Before what?

11:04 Before she gets pregnant, before I know.

11:06 Because you know, like, when you're late, you're pregnant.

11:08 Drew Yeah.

11:10 Adam You just miss your period and it doesn't...

11:12 Drew Nine months later, when you have your baby, you know what...

11:14 Caller Right.

11:15 All right, I got one more question, okay?

11:17 Adam Oh, boy.

11:18 Caller Okay, when you go down and you eat her out, how come it tastes like, how come it stinks sometimes? And how come it, like, tastes really weird?

11:25 Greg Grunberg Wow, you should see The Hollow Man.

11:28 Adam Chris, you need to ask Mr. Wizard some of these questions.

11:32 Drew Check in to drdrew.com, we'll answer all those questions on that website. But listen, it could be an infection, and she needs to be seen by a doctor if she's sexually active anyway, so they can check for that.

11:42 Adam All right. Hey, Chris, get that morning after pill, please. She could be pregnant.

11:46 Drew Prevent plan B.

11:48 Adam You got to start using birth control, right? All right.

11:51 Drew You know, I was on another local show, Conway and Stoeckler, by the way. They said hi here this morning. They were filling in for somebody else.

11:57 Adam Oh, that's right.

11:59 Drew And I brought up the emergency contraception, and immediately people called in. When do you think conception begins? How dare you? Conception begins when the egg and the sperm get together. And then inability to comprehend beyond that. Then how does this thing work? I don't get it. They completely fall apart.

12:18 Adam All right. So people don't understand that the morning after pill and or emergency contraception is not an abortion pill.

12:25 Drew Does not affect implantation.

12:26 Adam Lord knows it.

12:27 Drew It prevents the egg and the sperm getting together.

12:28 Adam I wish it was, because then it would be 100% effective. But that's just me, the atheist. Sarah?

12:34 Yeah?

12:34 Adam You're 14?

12:35 Caller Yeah.

12:36 Adam What's up?

12:38 Caller Every time, when I'm out with my friends or something, or I'm by myself, any time I come across a guy, and we start talking, I give him, any guy, I just like give him moral sex. And I don't enjoy it or anything. And some of the guys I'm not even attracted to, I just do it. I don't know why.

12:56 Adam You got an older sister?

12:58 Caller Yeah.

12:58 No, we're like a step-sister.

13:01 Drew You compulsively?

13:03 Adam Wow. Where was she when I was in high school?

13:06 Greg Grunberg Are they asking for this treatment? Or you're just volunteering?

13:10 Caller Sometimes they do, but then I ask them sometimes.

13:13 Adam How many guys do you figure you've racked up over the few months?

13:17 Caller Thirteen or fourteen.

13:19 Adam Thirteen or fourteen?

13:20 Caller Yeah.

13:20 Drew And you understand you can get some diseases from that, right?

13:22 Caller Yeah.

13:23 Adam These are just all guys from all walks of life?

13:26 Caller Yeah, but-

13:27 Adam Just the guy at a bus stop, mailman, the butcher, that kind of stuff?

13:31 Caller No, no, no, no. They're like my age, like maybe a couple years older, but-

13:35 Adam I see.

13:37 Drew You're out, Adam.

13:41 Adam His word, I have a very young penis, Drew will attest to that. I may be 36 when my penis is 15. Actually just had its bar mitzvah a couple years back.

13:51 Mazel Tov. Yeah.

13:51 Drew He was wearing yarmulke when I examined it.

13:53 Adam Thank you. Sarah?

13:55 Caller Yeah.

13:55 Adam Yeah. What's wrong with you?

13:57 Caller I don't know.

13:58 Adam What do you think? Where's your dad?

13:59 Drew Where were you exploited?

14:00 Caller I don't have a dad. My mom wasn't married when she had me.

14:05 Drew How were you even exploited in the past? How have you been victimized?

14:10 Caller I haven't grown up in really a loving family. My mom married this guy, but I'm not close to him or anything.

14:17 Adam You don't like him?

14:18 Caller No, I hate him.

14:19 Drew Did he do something to you?

14:20 No, he's just weird. I don't like him.

14:22 Adam Why do you hate him?

14:23 I don't know. He's just weird.

14:25 I don't talk to him or anything.

14:27 Adam Has he been around your whole life?

14:30 Caller Since I was like five.

14:32 Adam And you hate him just because he's weird?

14:34 Caller He's just, I don't, he's like not around during the day. He works at night, but I just don't like him. I just don't like him.

14:45 Drew Maybe something happened you're not thinking, remembering that made you feel so awful about him?

14:49 Caller I don't know. I just don't like him.

14:52 Adam Sarah, you can't articulate yourself any better than that. You just don't like him. That's all you can repeat. What about a friend of yours who you don't like? I'm sure you could tell me why you didn't like them.

15:03 Caller I don't know. He wanted to adopt me, but I wasn't. I got mad when I heard about that.

15:11 Drew Why?

15:12 I don't know.

15:13 Caller I want to know who my real father is. But I'm not close to my mom and she never brings anything about him up. She won't tell me anything.

15:20 Drew Was your real dad a mess?

15:21 Adam Hold on. Sarah, you're starting to sound like a pain in the ass. This guy doesn't do anything. He wants to adopt you. He comes in, he's...

15:28 Caller No, he's...

15:29 Adam Yeah?

15:30 Caller He does. He doesn't do anything for me. I mean, he's not around for me. He has two children with my mother, but he's not around for me.

15:40 Adam He wanted to adopt you. Doesn't that say something?

15:43 Caller I think my mother had part in that, say, like...

15:46 Greg Grunberg Does he help out financially or anyway?

15:50 Caller Not really.

15:50 Drew He doesn't feed you or...

15:51 Adam Who's paying for the house?

15:52 Caller My mom.

15:53 Adam He doesn't work?

15:54 Caller No, we rent. We're in low-income housing.

15:56 Adam All right, but he doesn't work? He doesn't have a job?

15:59 He sings in a band.

16:02 Caller It's embarrassing, because I'm embarrassed by him.

16:05 Adam Okay, all right. But hey, listen, Sarah.

16:07 Caller Yeah.

16:07 Adam Here's what I think. I don't think this guy's the world's greatest guy. I'm sure he isn't, because your mom picked him, and he's in a band. But...

16:16 Drew He could have been an actor.

16:17 Adam You're spending a lot of time focusing on your dad, who's probably the real A-hole in this scenario. The biological dad. And here's a guy who wants to adopt you, who's hanging around, who's at least trying to establish some semblance of a family, and you hate his guts for no reason. It seems to me that a lot of that anger is misplaced. It should be toward the real biological dad who abandoned you. Not toward this poor son of a bitch. He's just trying to sort of hang out and make things work. All right?

16:45 Drew Yeah.

16:46 Adam All right. Now you're doing a lot of acting out, so can you stop? Not everyone is your dad.

16:50 Drew You're going to hurt yourself. It's not good for you.

16:52 Just stop. Okay.

16:53 Adam All right. Good.

16:54 Thank you.

16:55 Drew Choose to stop. Now doesn't Greg seem like a great guy?

16:59 Adam Yeah.

16:59 Drew Do you want to apologize for last night?

17:01 Adam No. You mean saying I hate all actors?

17:03 Drew Yes.

17:03 Greg Grunberg Oh, no.

17:04 Adam That's why I was prompting you. What are you talking about? I look at Greg as more of a comedian.

17:08 Greg Grunberg Thank you.

17:09 Adam Jacob?

17:10 Yeah?

17:10 Adam You're 16. What's up?

17:14 Caller One day I was having sex with my girlfriend and I was pushing it in and out and I pulled it out too far and it hit the side of her and it really hurt. I guess I heard it. And like Wednesday and today I tried to get, I got it erect and now half of it is erect and half of it is limp.

17:31 Greg Grunberg Oh wow. Hit the side of her?

17:33 Adam Let me talk to it. Can you put it on?

17:36 Caller What?

17:36 Adam He pulled it out. He hit the side of her.

17:39 Caller Like really hard.

17:40 Adam I was going. So you were having vigorous sex and it popped out, right?

17:47 Caller Yeah.

17:47 Adam Because you overestimated the length of your penis, as I've done many times. And when it didn't go back in, it like it hit and bent.

17:55 Caller Yeah.

17:56 Adam Yeah. And hurt.

17:56 Greg Grunberg Did he pull the muscle?

17:58 Adam Yeah. It's like, oh, don't do it.

17:59 Drew Give me the book.

18:00 Adam You know what it's like? It's like shut up. It's like those Bugs Bunny cartoons where they draw the doorway on a rock. You know, that that that dark that dark tunnel of a cliff tunnel inside a cliff. And then Wiley Coda gets a running start and just pow.

18:13 Drew And then the road goes right through it.

18:15 Adam That would be someone else's penis. Yes. So he hit his he bent it. He screwed up that cavern in there. I'm not, I'm not.

18:23 Drew I'm just showing to Greg.

18:24 Greg Grunberg You got a picture for me?

18:25 Drew Yeah, yeah.

18:26 Adam Yeah. This is a picture of Drew nude in high school.

18:29 Greg Grunberg By the way, that looks like the Hall of Fame.

18:31 Drew I'm sure of that.

18:32 Adam All right. Move that damn book, would you?

18:35 Drew Hey, wait a minute.

18:36 Adam So now only half of it gets hard?

18:39 Caller Yeah, like the bottom half.

18:40 Adam Yeah. And that's the part you don't need. Yeah. You've done some damage. Is it black and blue?

18:46 Caller Um, it's a little, it's a little dark.

18:49 Drew These two things are what fill up with blood, and you can rip them or tear them.

18:51 Adam Yeah. They're these two sort of pontoons on either side of your penis. Yeah.

18:57 Drew And you need to, you need to see the urologist about that just to make sure things are okay. Usually this comes back without surgery, but you need to see someone, okay?

19:04 Adam Yeah. That's all right. What they usually will do is just cut it off at the point it goes limp and sew it back on there.

19:12 Greg Grunberg And like a lizard, it'll grow back, right?

19:13 Adam No, no.

19:14 Greg Grunberg It won't?

19:14 Adam No.

19:15 Greg Grunberg Will it keep moving, the part that's been cut off?

19:17 Drew Flipping around.

19:17 Adam If you put toothpicks in it, put it in a mason jar and put it up on your window sill in your kitchen.

19:22 Greg Grunberg Like a potato?

19:22 Adam Yeah.

19:23 Drew Adam runs away going, yike, yike, yike.

19:26 Adam Hey, Jacob?

19:27 Caller Okay.

19:27 Adam How long ago did this happen?

19:29 Caller It was Monday.

19:30 Drew Yeah. I ought to see some about it. Really should. And he's probably embarrassed. He was like, oh, they're going to find out we're having sex. No, they're going to assume we did it masturbating.

19:37 Adam Yeah. So his dignity will be spared. Jacob?

19:42 Caller Yeah.

19:42 Adam Here's what you tell him. You ready? You tell him you had an erection, must have been in the middle of the night or something, and you rolled over.

19:50 Caller Okay.

19:50 Adam All right.

19:51 Drew And you know what? I promise you, every other young male that comes in with this problem strangely has that same story.

19:55 Greg Grunberg Exactly.

19:56 Adam Right. Tell him you're humping the bejesus out of a beanbag chair.

20:01 Greg Grunberg The old rollover.

20:03 Adam Okay. All right. You ever do that? You ever rollover? Like with the kickstand up? You know what I mean?

20:10 Greg Grunberg You're popping a tent and all of a sudden. Yeah.

20:11 Adam You just rollover and you don't do that, Drew?

20:14 Drew That's what I was about to say.

20:15 Adam Oh. Good times. Herb?

20:17 Yeah.

20:17 Adam You're 21.

20:19 Caller What's up, guys? Got two quick questions.

20:22 Adam Yeah.

20:22 Caller I heard a lot of people calling in about long-term effects of drugs. But I've never heard long-term effects of shrooms.

20:29 Drew I'm not really clear what they are, frankly.

20:31 Adam I don't know.

20:31 Caller Yeah.

20:32 Drew We don't really know. Theoretically, it's probably going to be similar to other hallucinogenics, but it's a-

20:37 Caller I've done acid once, and it was way too hardcore for me. Yeah. Shrooms is a basic form of that, but it's not as bad.

20:46 Drew Again, what we expect to see is mild acid effects, which means eventually if you use enough, and how much is that much, we just don't know, you're going to see mood problems and personality changes and visual symptoms.

20:57 Adam People don't seem to do them enough.

20:58 Drew They don't do them enough. People don't like eating things that are made in cow dung and taste like hell.

21:03 Adam I don't mind that. It's just kind of hard to find and you know, it's just, it's tough on you, yeah, yeah.

21:10 Drew And your ecstasy is too though, people now just have no problem getting over that one.

21:13 Adam Although, oh really? Yeah, they do. Yeah, but it's just easier, it's just a pill and it's all over the place.

21:18 Drew Yeah, but it kicks the, people feel like hell afterwards, they feel washed out because their brain has been injured.

21:24 Adam No, no, it's not that, it's just they stayed up till 7 a.m. and watched the sun come up and dry humped something.

21:32 Drew Please.

21:32 Adam I'll tell you about drugs, you don't tell me about drugs. I know drugs.

21:36 Caller I quit July 13th anyway, so I was just wondering.

21:39 Adam Oh, okay.

21:40 Caller But my other question is, I got stabbed when I was 17.

21:44 Drew You got a what?

21:44 Caller I got stabbed twice when I was 17. But one didn't do anything, it was just in the gut, didn't do any damage, but one was in my arm, it messed up two veins really bad. They had to take two veins out of my leg and replace it, put it in my arm. And I was just wondering, what could be the long-term effects of that? I mean, it was a while ago, but now I'm starting to notice that, my right foot is starting to get cold and stuff at night. I'm just wondering if that's any relation to that.

22:13 Drew I doubt it.

22:14 Adam Who stabbed you?

22:15 Caller I don't know, some prick.

22:17 Adam All right.

22:17 Drew Some guy with a buck knife.

22:18 Caller It was after a football game.

22:19 Drew Some guy with a buck knife, that's what we usually hear.

22:21 Adam Okay, oh really, that's the line. It's a number one, who stabbed you story, this guy with a buck knife, number one story of why is my boyfriend.

22:29 Drew Penis broken.

22:30 Adam In jail.

22:30 Drew Oh, parole violation.

22:32 Adam Parole violation.

22:33 Drew And why is my penis broken? I rolled over.

22:34 Greg Grunberg Rolled over.

22:35 Adam There you go.

22:35 Greg Grunberg Yeah.

22:36 Drew And oh, and how does that watermelon hit up your bum? I sat on it.

22:39 Adam There you go.

22:40 Drew Those are the four answers.

22:41 Adam Stacey?

22:42 Caller Hello?

22:43 Adam You're 22?

22:44 Caller Hi. Drew, I just wanted to know, I just wanted to tell you that your twins are lucky to have you as a dad.

22:51 Drew Well, thanks Stacey.

22:52 Adam Yeah, except for he has triplets.

22:55 He has triplets.

22:56 Greg Grunberg You don't care about the other one.

22:58 Caller I'm sorry.

22:58 Adam One of them's evil.

23:01 Caller Well, here it is. I am 22 now and married, happily married. I have a baby. I'm trying to fix myself because, well, I met a guy when I was 12 years old through my dad when I was visiting him and he was 21 and right away I knew he was attracting me and I just thought oh he's so cute or whatever, you know. And he said he sort of looked at me as a cute little girl without a dad because he knew my dad.

23:36 Drew That is not how he looked at you. He looked at you like a piece of meat. Yeah, like the desert island.

23:42 Adam Cartoons, yeah, when they're on the island and they're talking to each other and the shipwrecked guys and one guy turns into a corn dog.

23:47 Drew Yeah.

23:48 Adam That's what he looked like. I could go for a corn dog.

23:51 Caller I know that. I do.

23:53 Adam All right. So what did he do to you?

23:56 Caller He hung around like he wanted to be there for me when I was having problems at home.

24:01 Drew Stacy, but no.

24:02 Adam Get to the good part.

24:03 Caller OK. When I was 14, I would try to start fights to get out so I could call him. When I was almost 14, I was going to be going into eighth grade, I think, or seventh grade. He was 23. We had sex for the first time. He took my virginity.

24:22 Adam You were 14, he was 23, right?

24:24 Drew What a guy.

24:25 Adam Yeah. OK.

24:26 Caller Anyways, we were as monogamous as you can be. I was only young and he messed around, and it was a bad relationship. I was with him until I was 19.

24:39 Adam He screwed around on you?

24:41 Caller Yeah.

24:42 Adam Well, who would have guessed? You think you have a good foundation of trust built with a 14-year-old when you're 23? And wow, you must have been blindsided.

24:54 Drew What can we do, Stacey? What do you want to ask him?

24:56 Caller This is the thing. I'm trying, OK, he took away my childhood. I know that.

25:02 Drew No, he didn't. He just took advantage of you. He may have...

25:06 Adam We've heard worse.

25:07 Drew Yeah, he may have been hurtful to you. He may have taken away your adolescence. He may have...

25:11 Adam Listen, your dad that this guy was replacing was the guy who took away your childhood, not this guy. Although this guy is not a great guy. This guy is a world class idiot. But I wouldn't go so far as to say he took away your childhood. And by the way, who cares? You know what I mean? I mean...

25:28 Caller I do.

25:28 Adam Well, I mean, why go around with that sort of stigma that your childhood was taken away?

25:35 Caller It's not... That's how I feel. Because I never... I had to fake I was older all the time. I lied. I lost my family. I had the secret life. I had nobody but him. And I did lose all of me. I didn't know who I was if he wasn't around.

25:49 Drew All right. Well, it's time to reestablish who you are.

25:51 Caller That's what I'm trying to do. And I've got some books. The thing is, I'm reading things. I know by law, yeah, he sexually abused me. But I can't really believe it. Because we had this relationship.

26:05 Drew Let's just say he was a very disturbed man who took complete advantage of you. Just leave it at that.

26:12 Adam Yeah, but your family must have been good and screwed up to let this go on in the first place.

26:16 Drew Right. And you were looking-

26:17 I was the awesome liar man.

26:19 Drew Well, you were trying to get away from that family, too.

26:21 Adam What were you trying to get away from? Where was your dad?

26:23 Caller Oh, my dad's an alcoholic.

26:25 Adam There you go. There's what you gotta focus on.

26:28 Drew Go to Al-Anon.

26:30 Caller I am an Al-Anon.

26:31 Drew Get a sponsor.

26:32 Caller I will be getting one.

26:33 Drew And work the steps. That's all you gotta do right now.

26:35 Adam Here we go. We've had two of these calls tonight so far. It's people blaming people that have come into their lives at a relatively late stage in life. I mean, emotionally, 11, losing virginity at 14, the cement is practically dry.

26:51 Drew It's a big deal.

26:53 Adam I don't wish it upon anyone. Actually, I wish it upon the coach of the Dodger team in the celebrity game.

26:59 Greg Grunberg I'll pass that on this weekend.

27:00 Adam Him and that ass.

27:02 Drew Seed suckers.

27:03 Caller All right.

27:04 Adam The point is-

27:05 Caller Wow.

27:06 Greg Grunberg I want to get up to bat.

27:07 Adam You may not. Don't talk to him or you won't. Here's the point. Here's the point. You had an alcoholic dad. You came from an environment that sort of laid its fertile soil so these seeds could be sown.

27:20 Drew So this idiot could take advantage.

27:21 Adam Right. You're focusing 100% on this guy taking your childhood. Your dad took your childhood by his boozing. And this guy came in and finished off what he started.

27:31 Drew Yeah.

27:32 Adam But go back to dad. It's a better place to start.

27:34 Drew Yeah.

27:35 Adam Okay. We'll take a little break. Greg Grunberg is here. He is from not only Felicity but Hollow Man, which is opening tomorrow. And when we come back, we'll speak to Lee, who can't talk because we can't walk because she's so sore from having sex. Nice. This is good. After this. Mades Loveline. Hold on, Devin.

28:31 Clear out.

28:33 Adam Thank you. Greg Grunberg is our guest tonight. He is from Hollow Man and also from Felicity.

28:40 Greg Grunberg Oh yeah.

28:41 Adam Of course, he's on the DUBBA DUBBA DUBBA. Have you ever seen Felicity?

28:44 Greg Grunberg I have. You have, yeah.

28:46 Adam Adam's never seen it. No, I haven't seen it.

28:50 Greg Grunberg Really?

28:51 Adam I hear it's a fantastic program.

28:53 Greg Grunberg Your people have told you that it's a fantastic show?

28:56 Adam No, I really haven't heard anything. I remember it was a big deal when Carrie Russell got her hair cut.

29:04 Greg Grunberg Yeah, that was ridiculous.

29:07 Adam And it was a big, all the kids enjoy Felicity.

29:11 Greg Grunberg Yeah.

29:12 Adam I've never seen it because, why haven't I seen it, Drew? Oh, I don't like drama.

29:17 Greg Grunberg You are exactly our target audience. I'm very surprised that this is something that you don't tape.

29:23 Drew Programming of any type.

29:24 Adam I'll tell you the shows I watch. I love the news programs. I love like 60 Minutes and 2020 and all that.

29:30 Drew History Channel.

29:31 Adam And I love all that History Channel crap.

29:33 Drew Only the World War and Civil War.

29:34 Greg Grunberg What do you watch that I wouldn't expect you to watch, though? Something, something, a guilty pleasure that you would never admit to.

29:40 Adam I like Sex and the City.

29:42 Greg Grunberg Really?

29:43 Adam There's a chick show that I enjoy.

29:45 Greg Grunberg That's a good show.

29:46 Adam I used to, I love like a rerun, bad rerun, you know, A-Team and Dukes of Hazzard and all of it. You'd expect that, but I'm trying to think. I love the Family Guy, but you'd probably expect that. And I have to go with Sex and the City.

30:01 Greg Grunberg Yeah.

30:02 Adam Or is it and the City?

30:03 Drew Is there any weird late night stuff you watch? Any weird late night stuff you watch? Other than the Ginn's New Knife special.

30:10 Adam Oh yeah, I watch a lot of infomercials, like the Wonder Mop and stuff.

30:13 Greg Grunberg Love that.

30:14 Adam Yeah.

30:15 Greg Grunberg Love the Wonder Mop.

30:16 Adam It's like I'm all charged up to buy something, and then they offer to throw the next one in for free at no additional charge, and I think how good could the first one be?

30:23 Greg Grunberg I love when you're watching, and you're watching for 15 minutes, and they still don't give you the number, they don't tell you how to buy it, and it's like you're watching a show, and they're just tagging you along, tagging you along. Hold on, and we'll tell you how to get this product.

30:34 Adam I like all the workout equipment with the freaked out chicks with the eating disorders who are, they're in their 40s, but they're wearing sort of a tight, something that you wear in your teens when you're doing like.

30:46 Greg Grunberg I love watching Chuck Norris get down with his piece of equipment. Have you ever seen that?

30:49 Adam Oh yeah.

30:49 Greg Grunberg That's hilarious.

30:50 Adam Yeah, that's sort of inverted sliding thing and he's pulling and. You know what I like? I like when guys explain what they do for living and then explain why they need strong abdominal muscles. That's always the part I like. They go, I'm a pastry chef, so.

31:09 Greg Grunberg When I'm wheeling that rack around.

31:11 Adam I just like it when people explain why they have to look their best or why it is they need those abdominal muscles. Yeah. All right. Lee.

31:20 Caller Yes.

31:21 Adam You're 19. What's up?

31:23 Caller Well, I always sometimes get sore when my boyfriend and I have sex because I'm a lot smaller than him.

31:30 Adam Let me chime in and say one more thing. One of the big selling points for almost all this equipment is it fits under your bed. Yeah. I always think to myself, boy, I should rent out that space under my bed because I ain't using it. I need to put something under my bed right now. Yeah. There's nothing under my bed. This is like open territory.

31:45 Greg Grunberg Everything has to fold up.

31:46 Adam Everything folds up, goes right under the bed. Yep. You'll never see it again. Lee, I'm sorry. So you had vigorous sex with your boyfriend?

31:54 Drew Yeah. She's small, he's big.

31:56 Caller Yeah.

31:56 Adam How small are you?

31:59 Caller I weigh like 105 and he's like a big football player.

32:03 Adam Nice.

32:04 Caller Yeah. And we had had sex the day before and I was kind of sore and then we had sex again the next day. And then like after that I was really sore and then today like my vagina was like swollen and it just hurts to like just walk. Like I can't make big strides or whatever.

32:25 Drew How long are you guys engaged in this action?

32:28 Caller Where?

32:28 Drew How long do you do this for?

32:29 Adam You can't do the triple jump is what you're saying?

32:33 Caller How long?

32:35 Drew How long to steeple chase? How long do you do this for?

32:38 Caller Have sex?

32:39 Caller Yeah.

32:40 Caller I mean not that long. It wasn't like a-

32:44 Drew How long?

32:47 Caller 15 minutes, something like that.

32:49 Drew Maybe that's too long for you.

32:50 Caller Yeah.

32:51 Adam Yeah.

32:52 Drew Maybe more issue of how long.

32:53 Adam Is he big in the jock down there?

32:55 Caller Yeah, he is.

32:56 Adam He is?

32:57 Caller Yeah. I feel like I'm like ripped, but then I'm swollen and so I'm worried that something is wrong with me.

33:03 Drew Probably not. Hot baths. Hot baths. Okay?

33:06 Adam Yeah.

33:06 Drew All right.

33:07 Adam Stay off that vagina. Run it off.

33:10 Greg Grunberg Buy a piece of equipment late night.

33:11 Drew Two weeks of pelvic rest, that's called.

33:13 Adam Two weeks.

33:14 Caller Really?

33:15 Adam Two weeks. He'll drop her. How's the- Do you do oral?

33:19 Caller Yeah.

33:19 Adam All right. Well, he can make it.

33:21 Caller Okay. All right.

33:23 Adam Listen, God bless you. It's like, well, he beat the ass out of my vagina. The day before. And so anyway, the next day we're having sex. Yeah. And then, so I couldn't, you know, I couldn't really walk without it, without a stick that day. But anyway, the third day we're going at it again. It's like, wow.

33:39 Greg Grunberg Yeah.

33:40 Adam This is great.

33:41 Greg Grunberg It's your choice as well. You don't have to do it.

33:43 Adam You're not Jewish, right, Lee? No. I'm shy.

33:48 Caller No.

33:49 Caller Okay.

33:50 Adam All right, Lee, you're fine. Just explain to him, you know, sit in the bath.

33:53 Caller Okay.

33:54 Adam You'll be all right. You get on top of him so you can sort of set the tempo. Okay.

33:58 Caller All right. Thank you.

34:00 Adam All righty. That's a good girl. Taylor? Hey. Got some great girls calling. It's like, I can't help it. I got to give everyone oral sex. My vagina's on fire, but I'm still going back for third helping. Where were these gals when I was 19? Taylor? You had 21. What's up?

34:18 Caller Hey, I've been pretty big into weightlifting for about two years now, and I'm a real hard gainer at getting muscle and getting size and this and that. I just started lifting weights with a new trainer the past week.

34:39 Adam Chuck Norris?

34:40 Caller No.

34:41 Drew And?

34:42 Caller But I was complaining to him about how hard it is for me to grow. And he told me to try this and he gave me like a little, like a vial of I don't know what it is.

34:59 Adam If Taylor was a jukebox, you know what I'd do?

35:01 Drew Kick it.

35:02 Adam Kick it. Right now. Let's get going.

35:04 Greg Grunberg Come on, baby.

35:05 Adam Come on. We're on the home stretch. He gave you a vial.

35:08 Caller Yeah. It has a label on it, but it's kind of torn.

35:13 Drew What does it say?

35:15 Caller Deca something.

35:17 Drew All right. Well, Deca, all the Decas. It's right. It's Deca. And does he want you to inject it?

35:23 Caller Yeah.

35:23 Drew Yeah. Don't do that, Taylor.

35:25 Caller That's not a good idea.

35:26 Drew That's a steroid.

35:27 Adam What if he drank it?

35:28 Drew It's an anabolic steroid. It won't be absorbed. And it is very powerful. And definitely you will gain weight with it. But you also will raise your blood pressure, increase your risk of stroke, heart disease, liver disease, kidney disease. And after one dose, probably not going to have a significant effect. But you probably aren't going to stop at one dose. And there are many, many people out there with all kinds of problems from those damn steroids.

35:51 Greg Grunberg Are you planning on being a professional weightlifter?

35:53 Caller No.

35:54 Greg Grunberg Are you a model or something?

35:55 Caller No. I'm just, I've heard of something. Is there such a thing as exercise bulimia?

36:01 Drew Yeah.

36:02 Caller There is.

36:03 Adam Do you have that?

36:04 Caller What is that?

36:05 Drew Well, it's in the sort of spectrum of body image disorders. And there's actually a book out there called the Male Adonis Syndrome, or the Adonis Syndrome.

36:17 Adam Oh yeah. I know.

36:18 Drew And you might go just get that on Amazon or something, the Adonis Syndrome.

36:21 Caller Okay.

36:22 Drew Or the Adonis Complex, that's what it's called. And it talks about guys and their body images and what they'll do and what kind of disorders are associated with that, okay?

36:29 Caller Okay.

36:30 Drew All right.

36:30 Adam All right. Hey, Taylor?

36:32 Caller Yeah?

36:32 Adam Listen, the only reason you should care about your appearance is for chicks, right?

36:36 Caller Yeah.

36:36 Adam Okay. And chicks like skinny guys.

36:39 Greg Grunberg Exactly.

36:40 Adam So you don't have to worry about packing on the size.

36:43 Caller Okay.

36:44 Adam All right. Just start a band, all right?

36:45 Caller Okay.

36:46 Adam All right. Taylor was like, ah. And?

36:52 Drew Hal, open the pod doors, please, Hal.

36:55 Adam Handed. I was like, me?

36:59 Greg Grunberg Cut to the end of the chase, Taylor.

37:03 Adam Andy?

37:03 Yes.

37:04 Adam You're 22.

37:05 Caller I am.

37:05 Adam That's what I like. Congratulations. You got some spunk, right?

37:08 Caller Huh?

37:09 Adam Okay. What's up?

37:11 Caller Well, I was just calling because about six months ago, my husband and I had, we did Ecstasy together. And before that, we were like having a lot of problems. I was cheating on him and not being faithful. We were really distant. But after we did the Ecstasy ever since, it's been really different. Like, I don't have the desire to go do that. And we just, it was really different ever since.

37:35 Adam Another Ecstasy success story.

37:37 Drew I'm glad you've had that success and that reconnection.

37:40 Greg Grunberg That's so beautiful.

37:41 Drew But it's not real. And you need, whatever issues were there that were causing the problems are still festering. And you need to deal with those.

37:48 Adam Why were you cheating?

37:51 Caller He just likes to stay home a lot and I like to go out.

37:53 Adam Oh, I see. So once you go outdoors, you gotta jump on some penis.

37:58 Drew Andy, there's a lot going on here.

38:00 Caller But ever since that, it hasn't really been the same.

38:02 Adam Well, how long's it been?

38:04 Caller About six months.

38:05 Adam Alright, good. Well, listen, if it works because you believe it works, then fine.

38:09 Drew No, they reconnect and that's good. But you better deal with whatever was festering there because it's still there.

38:15 Adam How many times did you cheat?

38:17 Caller A lot.

38:18 Adam A lot? Yeah. What's up with you?

38:20 Caller I don't know.

38:21 Adam What happened to you?

38:23 Caller I don't know.

38:23 Adam Tell us. Who did what to you?

38:25 Drew And how old were you?

38:28 Caller Um, I had foster parents. I had a bad childhood.

38:33 Drew Were you sexually abused growing up too?

38:35 Caller Um.

38:36 Drew Okay.

38:37 Caller Yes.

38:37 Drew Yeah.

38:38 Adam Okay.

38:38 Drew And so you really have shocking features of a sexual compulsive. And Andy, that doesn't go away by reconnecting over an ecstasy high. That's not true. That's not real. And this, all this is going to come pouring out again in some other way. You need to get treatment.

38:53 Caller Okay.

38:53 Adam All right, Andy.

38:54 Caller All right. Thank you.

38:55 Adam Take care of yourself.

38:55 Caller Bye.

38:56 Adam Yeah. See, chicks who cheat sort of compulsively or have numerous affairs or something, always something up.

39:03 Greg Grunberg Oh, yeah.

39:04 Adam I mean, we love just to say, hey, she's a hot chick. She's so in a road. She's wild. She's like a man. No, never. It's always the compensated. As soon as she was like, now, if she'd said, I cheated because my husband cheated on me with my best friend or he wouldn't pay attention to me or I constantly told him I was dissatisfied. Fine. But if I like to go out, he likes to stay home. And then how many times more times than I can count? Pow. Something will happen. Something's up. Foster parents, sexual abuse. All right. Fantastic. We are going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Jerry 29, never been on a date or had a girlfriend. Let's know if it's too late to start. Let me talk to Jerry. Hey, Jerry. Jerry. Yeah, it's too late. Okay. We got to go commercial. Hang tight. I'm hanging. We're going to find you a date tonight. I'll come over there and give you a hand job if I have to.

40:00 Drew In Indiana or something? Where are you, Jerry?

40:01 Adam Where are you?

40:02 Caller I'm in California here.

40:04 Adam What part?

40:05 Caller We're on Fresno.

40:06 Adam Fresno. You see, I have a 250-mile hand job radius. Sorry.

40:13 Drew But anyone interested should call. The phone number. 100-LOVE-191.

40:16 Adam That's right. Jerry, we're going to get you set up, all right?

40:19 Caller Well, I actually...

40:20 Adam All right. Hold on. What?

40:22 Caller I was going to actually talk to Drew, but I'll talk to him later.

40:25 Adam Okay. You'll see him at home? Okay. Hold on a second, Jerry. Take a little break. We'll be back.

40:33 Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back.

41:04 Drew Oh, he took off.

41:05 Adam They, they, they. It's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Greg Grunberg is our guest tonight. He's from Felicity.

41:17 Greg Grunberg Happy to be here.

41:18 Adam He is also, we're happy to have him. He's also from Hollow Man, which is again, a big summer movie. Coming out tomorrow with Elizabeth Shue and Kevin Bacon.

41:29 Greg Grunberg Joey Slotnick in the movie.

41:31 Adam Joey Slotnick, very nice guy.

41:33 Greg Grunberg A guy that I just, by the way, set up with. About 250 people on the internet. I was on The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn the other night. I gave out Joey's email address. And he got a million and a half hits. And he hates me. I bring it up because this guy obviously wants to be set up if he's still on the phone.

41:51 Drew He just dropped off the line, though.

41:52 Adam Wow, maybe he found his love.

41:54 Greg Grunberg But it was really funny. Joey hates me.

41:57 Adam Joey's a real nice guy who is sort of a friend of the show. But he hasn't been around in a little while.

42:04 Drew He came up with BAM Salve, came up with Silverman.

42:07 Adam That's right. He was on The Single Guy, right?

42:10 Greg Grunberg The Single Guy, yeah. I just finished working with Jonathan Silverman.

42:13 Adam He's a real nice guy, too.

42:14 Greg Grunberg Yeah, he's great.

42:15 Drew He plays baseball, remember?

42:17 Adam He's one of the guys the coach loved on the Dodger All-Star Game, which is coming up this Saturday.

42:24 Greg Grunberg I'll be there.

42:25 Drew I'll be there.

42:25 Adam Drew will be there. Jimmy will be there.

42:27 Greg Grunberg Adam, come on, give it another chance. Come on out, baby.

42:31 Adam I was specifically asked not to show up this year.

42:34 Greg Grunberg Okay.

42:35 Adam Yeah.

42:35 Greg Grunberg Can I use your jersey from last year?

42:37 Adam Yeah, I would, except for it has marks on it where I wipe my ass with it many, many, many times and not that any of these people are listening, but anyone who's involved in any way in the Dodger organization as it pertains to the Hollywood All-Star game can kiss my hairy ass.

42:55 Drew Wait a minute. It's not everybody.

42:56 Greg Grunberg All of you.

42:57 Adam Kiss it. All of you.

42:59 Drew You're finally losing it, Adam. What do you mean?

43:02 Adam They didn't invite me back this year. Why? Whose fault is it?

43:07 Drew I see.

43:07 Adam Whose fault is it?

43:08 Drew I see.

43:09 Adam It's the pussies that didn't invite me back because I got an a-hole coach. Right? Kiss my ass. Whose fault is it? Their coach was an a-hole to me. I told him to kiss my ass and now I'm not invited back. So, I'm sure he told a different account of the story, but the truth is for all. That's what I say. Reagan?

43:34 Caller Yeah.

43:34 Adam You're 25.

43:36 Caller Yeah.

43:36 Adam What's up?

43:37 Caller Um, well, okay, I was raised by a single mother. I have two sisters and a brother. And I was from age four until I was 12. I used to go over to my neighbor's house because my mom knew the man who molested me's parents. And...

44:00 Adam She didn't call him that though, right?

44:02 Caller No.

44:02 Adam Honey, this the man who molested you's parents? No?

44:06 Caller No.

44:06 Okay.

44:08 Caller I just don't want to mention his name, but anyway...

44:10 Drew But you went next door to visit a man?

44:12 Caller Well, my mom was friend with his parents. They were like really religious, and my mom like trusted me over there. And I used to go over there to play with like a 29-year-old man.

44:25 Drew Already, that's this weird.

44:28 Caller No. And the thing I can't understand is, I kept on going there until I was 12 years old, and he used to do really weird things, like he'd get on top of me and hump me and like make me kiss him all the time and do all these strange things. I knew at like age 8 weren't right, but I kept on going back there.

44:55 Drew So in some way, it was gratifying to you.

44:58 Caller Yeah, like he was a father figure. Yeah.

45:02 Drew And oftentimes, kids that are sexually abused are getting something from the experience, some sort of validation or closeness or intimacy. They're not getting other ways.

45:10 Adam What's up with your folks, though?

45:12 Caller Well, my mom worked a lot because she had to raise four kids all by herself, and so she really wasn't around very much.

45:21 Adam Right.

45:21 Caller And actually, I kind of feel a little bit bitter towards my mom because...

45:27 Drew Which is also normal because she's the one that sort of created the circumstance for this to happen.

45:32 Adam All right. But what did this guy do besides, did he do, you know, horrible things?

45:37 Caller Well, see, the thing I can't remember is I can't really, I've never gotten therapy for this. It's been really hard for me to deal with.

45:45 Adam But you just remember him sort of humping you and your leg and stuff and kissing you?

45:50 Caller When I had my clothes on, he would like hump me and stuff. Then he'd read his Bible to me after all this stuff.

45:58 Adam Oh, good times. All right. All right. So you're totally against religion now?

46:05 Caller No.

46:05 Adam Oh, not.

46:06 Caller I'm not totally against it, but-

46:09 Adam They're all evil.

46:10 Caller I just-

46:11 Adam Listen. Okay. But I would assume that if he'd actually penetrated you or forced you before moral sex or something, I'd assume you'd remember it.

46:22 Caller Yeah.

46:22 Adam Yeah. Because you got to look at it this way. He would have just done that all the time. You know what I mean?

46:29 Caller Yeah.

46:30 Adam I mean, until you're there to your 12, right?

46:34 Caller Yeah.

46:34 Adam All right. So just assume he didn't do that.

46:38 Caller I feel like I really want to get revenge.

46:41 Adam Revenge?

46:42 Caller Like, I don't, because like he, I think he thinks that I like don't know about any of this or don't remember.

46:48 Adam Well, he probably knows he's just not thinking about it.

46:51 Drew If you're hell bent on pursuing this, you've got to do it in a therapeutic way and you need somebody to help you through it and would not just march in and do that in some way.

47:02 Caller Yeah.

47:03 Drew It will not be fun or gratifying or what you expect.

47:06 Adam Don't you think God will pay him back?

47:08 Caller Yeah.

47:09 Adam You figure he'll get to heaven?

47:11 Caller No.

47:11 Adam Why not?

47:12 Caller Because he's a jerk.

47:13 Adam Okay. So, see all that Bible reading.

47:17 Caller But I just have one more thing to say. My sister made me do stuff to her when I was younger too, and my brother, and I feel like I've never confronted them about it.

47:30 Adam Right. All right. Hey, Reagan, listen, this guy got you started on that, and then you brought it home. Well?

47:39 Drew No. They asked for it apparently. They demanded she do this, right?

47:43 Caller Yeah. When I was like, because my brother's like a year older than me, and my sister-

47:48 Adam Something happened to them too.

47:49 Drew Yeah. Something's going on in that house.

47:50 Adam Were they going over there?

47:51 Caller No. That was the only one.

47:53 Adam Well, maybe there was a neighbor on the other side of the street.

47:55 Drew Or somebody else did something before you started going to the neighbor's house. Maybe that's why you went to the neighbor's house with such ease. All right.

48:02 Adam Reagan, you got to get into therapy.

48:04 Drew You've got to.

48:05 Adam All right.

48:05 Drew Don't confront anybody. It's not going to make you feel better. Not at this point.

48:09 Caller Who would you recommend me?

48:11 Adam This guy named Bob Phillips. He's over in Westwood. Where are you calling from?

48:16 Caller Chicago.

48:17 Adam Chicago. It's just a short three or four-hour plane flight. Just once a week.

48:22 Drew No big deal.

48:22 Caller Just like in the phone book?

48:24 Drew You have a doctor?

48:25 Adam No. What do you do? Go down to the university or something.

48:30 Drew Go to the university, Department of Psychiatry, see what they have for therapists.

48:33 Adam All right. I'm really...

48:34 Drew Trauma survivors.

48:35 Adam I'm going to kill myself tonight, I swear to Christ. Robbie? Yeah? You always come before penetration.

48:44 Caller Yeah, and I was wondering if there's any methods or...

48:47 Adam What are you doing before penetration?

48:49 Caller No, nothing.

48:50 Caller I just get around easily.

48:51 Adam Wow. So not even with oral sex or a hand job or anything?

48:55 Caller Yeah.

48:56 Adam Wow. That's funny, man.

48:59 Caller Not really.

48:59 Adam Oh, I'm just kidding. No, no, that's a big problem. I'm with you, man. My heart goes out to you, right?

49:03 Greg Grunberg That's a common problem.

49:05 Drew Yes.

49:05 Adam All right, Robbie?

49:06 Caller Yeah.

49:06 Adam So it just sort of starts leaking out of you. It's like almost like gravity. Like you lean over and it starts spilling out?

49:12 Caller Uh, pretty much.

49:13 Adam All right. Hold on. Wow. I wish I could do that. I really do. Imagine you go to like a strip club. You'd just be sitting there and get a lap dance, and you'd just be like, All right. Well, I just saved myself 480 bucks. In booze.

49:26 Greg Grunberg Let's go home.

49:27 Adam In booze alone. I'm going home. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Robbie, who's semen can't stay in his penis.

49:39 Loveline will be right back.

50:26 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Ray Grunberger is our guest tonight. He is from Felicity. You know him as the landlord from Felicity.

50:36 Greg Grunberg Yes, Sean Blumberg.

50:38 Adam Sean, oh, they got close with that last time, didn't they?

50:42 Greg Grunberg Yes, they did.

50:43 Adam Also, he is the, I don't know, geneticist, the cardiologist from Hollow Man.

50:51 Drew Should not have been like Natalie, the cardiologist in these teams usually.

50:57 Adam Oh, yes, usually super hot chick.

50:59 Greg Grunberg Yes, exactly. Well, that's the veterinarian.

51:02 Drew Oh, I see.

51:03 Greg Grunberg She is a super hot chick and she cares too much about the animals in this movie. This is really-

51:07 Adam Is that Elizabeth Schoo?

51:09 Greg Grunberg No, no, no, she's actually-

51:10 Adam Another super hot chick.

51:10 Greg Grunberg She's a second. Yes, Kim Dickens, actually.

51:12 Adam Don't know Kim Dickens.

51:13 Greg Grunberg She's been in a lot of films. She's fantastic. She's great. She's hot. We see her breast in the film.

51:18 Adam Oh, great.

51:19 Greg Grunberg Yes, you'll love that.

51:20 Adam Both of them.

51:21 Greg Grunberg Actually, we see one of them.

51:22 Adam Which one?

51:23 Greg Grunberg She's falling asleep. You see the right breast?

51:25 Adam It'd be to my right if I was facing her or behind her.

51:27 Drew Yeah, it's camera left. She's the one that's in the trailers, sits up in the middle of the night.

51:33 Greg Grunberg No, that's Elizabeth Schubert.

51:34 Drew That's Elizabeth Schubert.

51:34 Greg Grunberg Yeah.

51:35 Adam Oh, you are so-

51:36 Greg Grunberg You're gonna love the movie, I'm telling you. It's your kind of film.

51:38 Adam That's it. I'm watching it. All right. Then now that I have my life back, I can watch that film, because I have some time to myself.

51:46 Drew Speaking of having your life back, did you call Chip and tell them you would not be reading the script that's been given to you?

51:51 Adam No, I was too busy framing my garage today.

51:54 Drew You will be reading it, because I have to go. I'm representing you at the rehearsal tomorrow.

51:58 Adam We have to do the Teen Choice Awards on Sunday. What time are you going over there tomorrow?

52:02 Drew Six.

52:03 Adam Six?

52:03 Drew Why don't you go with me?

52:04 Adam No. Where are they having it? Are they having it at my house?

52:07 Drew I'm on a carpool.

52:07 Adam No. That is a sucker's gig. You're going out to the-

52:12 Drew I understand it's a-

52:13 Adam Hold on a second.

52:14 Drew First of all, I'm the major league enabler on you, because you don't do S and I go down and do it for you.

52:19 Adam Well, listen. Hold on, everybody. Santa Monica, for those of you, especially the Santa Monica Airport, which really shouldn't even be called the Santa Monica Airport because it's deep Santa Monica. I mean, it's not- I don't even know if it's in Santa Monica, but it is out there. It is a hall. And if you think you're going to go down there at 6 o'clock on a Friday and leave wherever you are, which is probably Pasadena, you're going to sit in that famous LA traffic for a good hour and 15 minutes before you get out there. Why? So you can walk out, give a thumbs up on a teleprompter, and then get back in your car like a sucker and not get home until 8 o'clock for some freebie gig that they should be happy to have you for?

52:58 Drew Yeah.

52:58 Adam What are you, nuts?

53:00 Drew I wouldn't do it were I not concerned about what it is you're- how you're handling all this stuff.

53:05 Adam What are you talking about?

53:06 Drew They handed you a script and you said, I'm going to do whatever I want.

53:08 Adam They handed us a script last year. We didn't do it.

53:11 Drew Yeah, it was without the visuals and stuff that are going to go on this year.

53:13 Adam Well, tell them to get rid of the visuals.

53:15 Drew Well, tell them- you didn't tell them today.

53:18 Adam I'm not- listen, I'm not- my job is not to chase them around and tell them what's going on.

53:23 Drew I'm dragging my ass out to Santa Monica.

53:25 Greg Grunberg This is fascinating, by the way.

53:28 Adam Go- go- all right. Just go down there and be a sucker, you idiot.

53:31 Drew I would love not to go if you cooperate or take responsibility.

53:35 Adam Don't go. Don't go tomorrow. Make a phone call and listen, I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? You don't go.

53:41 Greg Grunberg Teens, Adam. Teens are going to be there. Hot teens for you.

53:45 Adam Underage girls.

53:46 Greg Grunberg You're going to get there early.

53:47 Adam Yeah, and boys.

53:49 Drew You get to meet Britney Spears.

53:50 Adam Robbie? Yeah, she is so mediocre. Whatever. Robbie, you're 16. What's up? Oh yeah. The semen comes out before you're ready, right? Yeah. Yeah.

54:02 Greg Grunberg Even when you're alone?

54:04 Caller Oh no, just when I'm around.

54:05 Adam Right. When you're with a girl?

54:07 Caller Yeah.

54:07 Adam Do you have a girlfriend?

54:09 Caller Yeah, I do.

54:09 Adam Amazing.

54:10 Drew How many times have you attempted this?

54:13 Caller About five.

54:15 Adam And so explain.

54:17 Greg Grunberg Did you ever get the tip in?

54:20 Caller Well, that's about as far as I've gotten.

54:21 Drew Are you putting a condom on or something like that?

54:23 Caller Yeah.

54:24 Adam And do you start convulsing and stuff? Do your eyes roll back?

54:28 Caller No.

54:29 Adam But it feels, I mean, it's an orgasm, right?

54:31 Caller Yeah.

54:32 Adam Oh man. Is it humiliating?

54:35 Caller Pretty much.

54:37 Adam How's she taking? Is she all right?

54:39 Caller I think she's annoyed, though.

54:41 Adam All right. Well, let me ask you this. Oh, she probably is.

54:43 Drew She's probably relieved.

54:44 Adam Well, and flattered in a bizarre way. So let me ask you this, Robbie. If you and your girlfriend were just sitting on the foot of the bed and you were making out, right? Clothes on. You with me?

54:55 Caller Yeah.

54:55 Adam All right. Are you becoming aroused now, by the way?

54:58 Caller No.

54:58 Adam Okay. Clothes on. You're just kissing. And then she says, let's have sex, and you immediately undress. Are you going to have an orgasm at that point, before you enter her?

55:10 Yeah.

55:11 Adam Wow.

55:12 Caller Just about there.

55:13 Adam Wow.

55:14 Greg Grunberg That's incredible.

55:14 Adam I really wish I could do that.

55:16 Drew He needs a little bit of the Corolla.

55:18 Greg Grunberg Can we give him any images?

55:19 Drew No, no. He needs a little Corolla training program.

55:21 Adam No, no. A poster of the Hey Vern guy on the ceiling, especially since he died. How about that?

55:29 Drew That's like trying to stop a freight train with a feather.

55:31 Adam All right.

55:32 Drew It ain't going to happen.

55:33 Adam Hey Robbie, how about you masturbate an hour before she comes over?

55:42 Why would I want to do that?

55:43 Drew I see.

55:44 Adam Why would I want to do that?

55:45 Drew He's not got command of things yet. Oh my God.

55:48 Caller He doesn't flog the dolphin before a big date.

55:51 Adam That's right. Hey Robbie, the reason you may want to do that is because you're frosting her comforter before your penis even gets near her. You understand? Yeah. Okay. What do you mean why would I want to do that?

56:08 Greg Grunberg He doesn't get it.

56:09 Adam Well, he's saying I have a problem and I say, how about this? I'm not done yelling at this Robbie. Hey Robbie, you understand maybe if you'd masturbate.

56:20 Drew Why don't you ask him if he does masturbate?

56:22 Adam Why don't you quiet down? Don't you got to go to the rehearsals now?

56:25 Drew Do you masturbate Robbie?

56:26 Greg Grunberg No, I do not. Oh, I just came. I'm sorry.

56:28 Drew You see? Imagine if you didn't masturbate, I don't know what would happen.

56:33 Adam Well, I kill myself so you'd never know the answer to that. Hey Robbie, start masturbating, would you? Okay. Could you do that?

56:40 Caller Sure.

56:41 Adam Here's the thing. You need to gain control over your penis. All right. You understand?

56:45 Caller Yeah.

56:46 Adam Your penis is like a dog. It needs training. And masturbating is like taking it out for a walk from those choke chains.

56:53 Caller All right.

56:54 Drew You see, he's got to, he's got to, wait, wait, why don't you see what his problem is?

56:57 Adam He's just throwing around. What do you mean? What do you see what his problem is? He's just a jerk off. Robbie, just whack off and get control over your penis. And what do you mean he doesn't masturbate? How dare he not masturbate? Temerity. He's 16. Tiffany?

57:13 Caller Yeah.

57:14 Adam You're 18?

57:14 Caller Yeah, I am.

57:15 Adam What's up?

57:16 Caller Well, I have a question, but I don't know if I can say it so you guys get it.

57:23 Drew All right. Because your mom's in the room.

57:24 Adam Oh, really?

57:25 Drew Is your mom in the room?

57:27 Caller Huh?

57:27 Drew Is your mom in the room?

57:28 Caller No.

57:29 Drew Oh.

57:30 Caller Okay.

57:30 Adam Well, why do you want to speak in code, then?

57:33 Caller Well, I mean, I don't know how to explain it, but I'll try.

57:38 Adam All right. Hurry. Ready? Go.

57:40 Caller Okay. Is there any way you can tell, like-

57:46 Adam You're pregnant?

57:47 Caller No, no. Is there any way you can tell, like, if you're, like, it's the time to conceive?

57:54 Drew There are kits you can get over the counter that sort of measure your body temperature and can help you make that assessment.

58:00 Caller Yeah, I know. But, I mean, is there, like, any way?

58:03 Drew Oh, God.

58:05 Caller No, I heard that you have, like, discharge or something.

58:11 Drew Yeah, it can change. The sort of the thickness of the discharge can change, but you wouldn't really be able to tell that.

58:16 Caller Oh, you can't?

58:17 Drew No.

58:17 Greg Grunberg Those kits, those kits are invaluable. I mean, when we were conceiving, it's just...

58:21 Drew Those, those are basal body temperature kits.

58:23 Greg Grunberg Yeah.

58:23 Drew Yeah.

58:23 Greg Grunberg It's just so important. I mean, we tried for a month and a half, two months, and then as soon as we knew it was the right time using one of those kits, bingo.

58:30 Adam That and getting away from the oral sex, I think, were the two biggest things.

58:34 Greg Grunberg Mm, probably right. You're probably right.

58:36 Drew It wasn't considered getting away. It was breaking.

58:38 Adam Breaking away. Tiffany?

58:40 Caller Yeah?

58:40 Adam Yeah, okay. Anything else?

58:42 Caller Um, yeah, we've just been trying for, like, six months.

58:46 Adam You've been trying with who?

58:48 Caller Me and my fiancé.

58:49 Adam I see. You're 18.

58:51 Caller Yeah.

58:51 Drew What's the hurry?

58:53 Adam 18 and what? When are you going to be 19?

58:55 Caller When?

58:56 Adam Yeah.

58:56 Caller December.

58:58 Adam All right. So you've been, you know, you're like 17 and three-quarters and you're still trying to have a kid, but they're your fiancé?

59:05 Caller Yeah.

59:06 Adam Nice.

59:06 Caller No, we've been together for a long time.

59:08 Adam I see. How old is he?

59:10 Caller He's 20.

59:11 Adam Why are you trying to have a kid so soon?

59:13 Greg Grunberg Yeah.

59:14 Caller Well, because we want to start a family.

59:16 Greg Grunberg You have plenty of time to start a family.

59:18 Caller I know.

59:19 Adam I know. And listen, you don't sound smart enough to have a kid.

59:22 Caller Huh?

59:23 Adam That's...

59:24 Caller Thank you.

59:25 Adam Touché. What's that?

59:27 Caller What?

59:28 Adam Okay. Listen.

59:29 Greg Grunberg If you can't describe this very quickly, at the beginning of your call, you couldn't describe it. I mean, that should be a sign right there.

59:37 Adam What does your fiancé do for a living?

59:40 Caller He works at the mill, at a mill.

59:42 Adam At a mill?

59:42 Caller Yeah, he's a mechanic.

59:44 Adam At a mill?

59:45 Caller Yeah.

59:45 Drew What? Washington, Oregon or something?

59:48 Caller No, in California.

59:49 Adam What kind of mill?

59:52 Caller Like a mill.

59:53 Greg Grunberg Oh, boy.

59:54 Caller No, I mean, like, he's a mechanic.

59:56 Adam Lumber mill? Yeah. And he works on the trucks? Yeah. Or on the equipment?

1:00:00 Caller On the equipment.

1:00:01 Adam There you go.

1:00:02 Caller He makes good money.

1:00:03 Adam Yeah. But what's good money? $13.75 an hour?

1:00:06 Caller No. Like, I don't know. Like, $17?

1:00:10 Adam All right. Hey, Tiffany?

1:00:11 Caller Yeah?

1:00:11 Adam Listen, he could get laid off any day now. You're 18, and you got a lot of maturing to do so that you can pass that on to your young child and not screw him up. Okay? All right. Your folks okay?

1:00:26 Drew Yeah.

1:00:26 Adam Okay. Listen, no one named Tiffany should have kids before 25. As a matter of fact, no one named Tiffany should be over 25.

1:00:32 Caller Why?

1:00:33 Adam You'll probably die on your 25th birthday.

1:00:35 Drew Why?

1:00:35 Caller Why? Because my name is Tiffany.

1:00:37 Adam You know anybody named Tiffany who's in her 30s?

1:00:40 Caller Do I know anybody?

1:00:43 Adam Listen, don't have kids. Please don't. Please. Why? You know why? Because your kids are going to go, goo-goo and you're going to go, goo-goo, gaga, gaga. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. You're hungry? You're just going to repeat. You're just going to parrot everything the kid says.

1:01:02 Caller All right.

1:01:02 Adam Listen, screwball, give it a few years, please. Get married first.

1:01:05 Caller All right.

1:01:08 Adam That's mama, everybody.

1:01:09 Caller Oh, boy.

1:01:10 Adam That's great. Your kid's going to be smarter than her when the kid's three.

1:01:14 Greg Grunberg Yeah.

1:01:16 Adam It's going to be three going, hey, mom, that pot's hot. Get away from it.

1:01:21 Greg Grunberg I can tell you what.

1:01:22 Adam Listen, don't dry your sweater on the space heater. It's going to catch you on fire. And the Christmas tree that's been there for six months, we got to throw that out. It's a fire hazard.

1:01:30 Greg Grunberg She would never be able to use one of those kits if she had one. That's for sure. They're not easy to use.

1:01:35 Adam Oh, those basal temperature. Oh, yeah. You're telling me. Kim, I got one of those stuck in my ass for three days once. Do you remember that? I had no idea how to use it.

1:01:47 Greg Grunberg Were you pregnant?

1:01:49 Adam I felt like I gave birth when I passed that thing. Kim?

1:01:53 I'm here.

1:01:53 Adam You're 18. What's up?

1:01:55 Caller Okay. I've had my serious boyfriend move in to the hospital a year and a half. He just turned 21. He's been smoking pot since he was nine years old.

1:02:03 Drew Nice.

1:02:05 Caller I know he's done a lot of other things, but I know right now he stopped all the other drugs. He's done lots of acidos and lots of ecstasy. He's done some speed that I know of.

1:02:16 Adam He's a keeper. I can see why you're attracted to him. You don't find guys with that kind of commitment to drugs every day. Nine years old. I mean, this guy is a prodigy.

1:02:25 Drew Can he dress himself, tie his shoes, that sort of thing?

1:02:27 Caller Yeah. I mean, he's completely sane. He doesn't act abnormal at all. You could never tell.

1:02:33 Adam Oh, we would tell.

1:02:34 Drew We would tell him for four syllables in a conversation with him.

1:02:38 Adam But go ahead.

1:02:39 Caller He gets stoned every day. I mean, at least once a day he gets stoned. He stopped everything except for the weed. He doesn't see a problem with the weed. He doesn't see that, you know, he didn't really understand it. He needs to stop.

1:02:52 Adam Why does he need to stop? He's fine.

1:02:54 Caller See, that's his, that's his theory.

1:02:56 Adam Well, that's your theory, too. He just got done saying that.

1:03:01 Caller But I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't smoke it. And I try to get him to stop smoking it.

1:03:07 Adam I know, but you just got, you just got done saying he couldn't tell. He's fine.

1:03:11 Caller No, I mean, you can't tell. Other people who meet him have been around him for years and could never tell that he smoked or he's done any kind of anything.

1:03:18 Adam Right.

1:03:19 Caller I mean, I could tell. I know, but.

1:03:21 Drew I'm sure we can tell, too.

1:03:23 Adam But if he's fine, I'm just saying, why do you want him to quit so bad?

1:03:25 Caller I mean, he's not fine. He does have mood swings.

1:03:29 Adam Ooh, here we go.

1:03:31 Greg Grunberg What does he do for a living?

1:03:32 Adam He works with children.

1:03:34 Caller No, he kind of works for government right now. He's working.

1:03:38 Drew Disability.

1:03:39 Caller In clean. He works. He's a plumbing foreman and he does installation on military vehicles.

1:03:48 Adam Oh, boy.

1:03:49 Caller There you go.

1:03:50 Adam So when that C-130 wing comes off as it flies by the Rose Bowl to open the big soccer match, you'll know who is working on it. All right. Kim, he won't quit, right?

1:04:04 Caller Yeah.

1:04:05 Adam You want him to quit. So you're going to have to go to like Alan on or something and start creating some consequences.

1:04:13 Drew Yeah, because he's not going to do it on his own. No way. No way.

1:04:17 Adam He's been spoken since he was nine. All right. Why are you so into him?

1:04:22 Caller It's just, I mean, I've tried everything. I talk to him. I get him to stop.

1:04:27 Drew It's just like getting dad to stop drinking, isn't it?

1:04:30 Caller No, he doesn't drink.

1:04:30 Drew Oh, mom?

1:04:32 Adam Did your dad drink?

1:04:33 Caller My mom, I've been raised by a single mother. And his parents, I mean, his dad drinks. He doesn't drink.

1:04:40 Adam Yeah. But how's your mom?

1:04:43 Caller Oh, I'm fine.

1:04:43 Adam You know where your dad is?

1:04:45 Caller Yeah, he lives about 300 miles from here.

1:04:48 Adam Does he drink?

1:04:50 Caller I'm not really sure. I don't really have any contact with him.

1:04:52 Adam All right. All right. But Kim, this isn't your dad, right?

1:04:56 Caller No.

1:04:56 Adam All right. So if he doesn't stop smoking pot, you break up with him, right? All right, babies. All right.

1:05:02 Drew That's it.

1:05:04 Adam You all right? Break up with him if he doesn't stop.

1:05:08 Drew That's it.

1:05:09 Adam I wish I could find one of these chicks. It was just so in love with me no matter what I did. You know what I mean?

1:05:14 Drew What if she should blame everybody else?

1:05:15 Adam I just do drugs. She forgives me. She defends me. Everyone I get hooked up with is like, oh, this pig over here. Hey, your highness, the table is right. It's like, I get abused. These girls do nothing. And you know what else they do? These are the kind of girls where you cheat and they go beat the crap out of the chick.

1:05:35 Greg Grunberg Yeah.

1:05:36 Adam They're like, out of the way. I'm going to kill her.

1:05:38 Greg Grunberg Right.

1:05:38 Adam Honey, give her a break. She wasn't that good and bad. No, I'm going to kill her. Or they blame themselves.

1:05:44 Greg Grunberg They blame themselves. Right.

1:05:45 Adam When I'm done beating her up, I'll beat myself up.

1:05:47 Greg Grunberg Yeah. Yeah.

1:05:48 Adam It's my fault. You go watch TV and drink a beer. I'm going to get this bitch that had sex with you.

1:05:55 Greg Grunberg Let me load your pipe, hon.

1:05:56 Adam That bitch you raped? She's going to get it.

1:05:59 Greg Grunberg She's mine.

1:06:01 Adam There's no way she should have held still. You only had a knife. Joseph?

1:06:06 Yes.

1:06:06 Adam You're 22?

1:06:07 Caller Yes, sir.

1:06:08 Adam What's up?

1:06:10 Caller Oh, man. I had some little red bumps with whitehead type things like in my pubic area, and I was wondering if that's something extremely bad or what it could possibly be.

1:06:22 Drew If you scraped off the little white top, was it sort of a little hard thing come out?

1:06:27 Caller I haven't done that.

1:06:28 Adam Well, you got to do that. Listen, people, you have to start lancing yourselves. That's what I do.

1:06:33 Drew This is the lancing. They just peel off.

1:06:35 Adam I'll lance even non-lancable lesions.

1:06:37 Caller What do you mean like a hard thing, then, exactly? What is that?

1:06:39 Drew Just like, instead of there being pus out of the whitehead, the whitehead is just a little hard knot, and that's called molluscum contagiosum. It's a virus, and it goes away by itself.

1:06:47 Caller Really? Would there be several of them?

1:06:50 Drew Yeah, lots of little dots, yeah.

1:06:51 Caller There's like 10. Now, they just look like pimples.

1:06:54 Drew Yeah, but they're not really pimples, right? They don't nuts, they're tender, they don't keep swelling. Peel off the top of one.

1:07:01 Caller Is it bad for them to like?

1:07:02 Drew Peel the top off. He'll do it right now.

1:07:04 Adam Do it right now, Joseph.

1:07:05 Caller No, man.

1:07:07 Adam Come on. Come on, Joseph. Either you get your Johnson out and peel that top of that molluscum contagiosis off or I hang up on you.

1:07:14 Drew It's not his Johnson, it's on his pubic area.

1:07:15 Adam All right, well get it out. Come on. Okay. All right, you got it?

1:07:19 Caller No. This is kind of weird. Hold on. Are you serious?

1:07:23 Adam Yes. Come on. Come on. You've done worse.

1:07:27 Caller What if I do that with like spread or something?

1:07:30 Drew We'll peel it off and see if there's a little hard thing that peels off.

1:07:34 Adam All right, Mr. Prude.

1:07:35 Drew Just get it with your fingernail, just peel the top off.

1:07:37 Adam Are your pants down?

1:07:39 Caller Yeah.

1:07:39 Adam Yeah. Your balls smell?

1:07:41 Caller No.

1:07:42 Adam Really?

1:07:42 Caller I'm very clean.

1:07:43 Adam I come out of the shower, my balls smell.

1:07:45 Greg Grunberg Yeah, me too.

1:07:46 Adam I get out of the ocean, my nuts smell. It's like walking back to my town. People are like, hey, get back in for another two hours.

1:07:55 Drew What's that?

1:07:55 Caller It feels quite hard, but there's no pus or anything.

1:07:57 Drew Right. You peel off a little hard thing off the top, right?

1:08:00 Caller Now, it hurts.

1:08:00 Drew Yeah. It's just the white thing comes off?

1:08:04 Caller Yeah, it just pops out.

1:08:05 Drew Pops out. That's molluscum contagiosum. It's going to go away by itself.

1:08:08 Adam No way.

1:08:08 Caller It could be herpes now?

1:08:10 Adam No.

1:08:10 Caller Can you explain what I did to maybe-

1:08:12 Drew It doesn't matter. We don't care. It's not anything that you did. She had them. She gave them to you. It's a sexually transmitted disease. It'll go away.

1:08:19 Adam Hey, Joseph?

1:08:20 Caller What if she didn't have anything at all on her, though?

1:08:21 Drew Well, you didn't see them.

1:08:22 Adam Joseph, I want you to take a number two pencil and jam it into your penis, okay?

1:08:27 Caller Jesus Christ.

1:08:27 Adam Why? Come on. Come on. Do it.

1:08:30 Drew Stop.

1:08:30 Adam Hey, does everyone call...

1:08:31 Greg Grunberg Can she get that, though? Is that contagious? I mean...

1:08:32 Drew It's contagious, yeah, but she probably gave it to him.

1:08:35 Adam Is everyone calling tonight kind of a weirdo?

1:08:37 Drew Oh, yeah. I blame Greg.

1:08:39 Greg Grunberg Yeah, it's my fault.

1:08:39 Adam Yeah, I do, too.

1:08:40 Greg Grunberg It's my fault. These are Felicity fans. These are Holloman fans.

1:08:43 Adam Well, see, normally we have stupid people, sort of almost well-meaning, but stupid people, sort of naive people call in. Tonight, we have sort of spooky, creepy, weird, out-of-it scary people calling in tonight.

1:09:02 Greg Grunberg Yeah, they can't get to the point.

1:09:03 Adam You know what I mean? Like, can't get to the point, but like guys like Joseph over here who are sort of out of it, but a little dicey at the same time, like a little scary, like...

1:09:12 Drew Elusive.

1:09:13 Adam Yeah, you know, they're like those dogs that are scared of you, but still, you still think they may bite you. Like, they're sketchy around you, but they may lunge.

1:09:22 Greg Grunberg Yeah, you never know when that's going to happen.

1:09:24 Adam And the chicks are all whacked out tonight too. They all got some crappy situation that they're denying completely. And it's like, it's just kind of weird, sketchy, very unattractive. It's unattractive personality. I've not been attracted to any of you.

1:09:41 Drew Yes, you were. We're sorry.

1:09:43 Adam Yes. There'll be no masturbating to any of your voices tonight. A first on Loveline.

1:09:49 Drew I wonder what the king is doing.

1:09:52 Adam Now there's still 40 minutes left in the show. So Valerie, you're 21. What's up?

1:10:00 Caller My boyfriend accidentally used flea and tick shampoo. He thought it was like shower gel.

1:10:07 Greg Grunberg I see.

1:10:08 Caller And now he has a rash.

1:10:11 Greg Grunberg Is he barking?

1:10:12 Drew Is it all over his body?

1:10:14 Caller It's on his chest and on his penis and on the upper part of his leg.

1:10:18 Drew Does it hurt?

1:10:19 Caller Yeah, but he doesn't want to see a doctor.

1:10:21 Drew Why?

1:10:22 Adam He doesn't want to stop licking his balls.

1:10:24 Drew Why?

1:10:25 Greg Grunberg Would you leave the house?

1:10:27 Caller What?

1:10:27 Adam Nothing. All right, Valerie, he's fine.

1:10:29 Drew No, he needs to see somebody, because those can be pretty bad rashes.

1:10:32 Adam What are they going to do?

1:10:33 Drew Chemical derma, some steroid cream.

1:10:35 Adam He'll rinse himself off.

1:10:36 Drew He can get out of control.

1:10:37 Adam He needs a nice swim in a hot tub. It'll be fine.

1:10:39 Drew See somebody, Valerie, just go to an emergency room, something like that. It's easier to take care of.

1:10:43 Adam Emergency room? Listen, don't go to the emergency room. This is why I have to wait when I'm at the emergency room, because I'm Yahoo.

1:10:48 Drew Then call your doctor.

1:10:49 Adam Put some Hearts Mountain on their ass, and now I got a four-hour wait in the doctor. You know what the doctor's going to do? Let's see. Stay off. Let's see. We'll take a shower. They're not going to do anything.

1:11:03 Drew Go do some cortisone cream. They may do some systemic.

1:11:06 Adam Valerie, you call back and tell us what they didn't do. All right? What if you won't go? It's now up to one-tenth of one percent. It's a super, super powerful formula. That'll get worse. Now with one-tenth of one percent cortisone. It's real impressive when you see that big one percent on the label. Woo, one percent. Look out. I should get an oven mitt to handle this baby.

1:11:33 Greg Grunberg Exactly.

1:11:33 Adam It's an old one percent, everybody.

1:11:35 Greg Grunberg It's like fruit juice with real fruit in it.

1:11:37 Adam Ten percent. Real fruit. That's right. Ninety percent corn syrup. Greg Grunberg is our guest tonight. You can find him on Felicity every week and also the fabulous Hollow Man, which is coming out tomorrow night. We'll take a little break and we'll be back with more of you after this.

1:11:55 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE, 191, back in a minute.

1:12:32 Adam Yeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Greg Grunberg is our guest tonight. He's from Felicity, plays the wacky landlord, and also Hollow Man.

1:12:49 Greg Grunberg Opening tomorrow night, Friday night.

1:12:51 Adam That's right.

1:12:52 Greg Grunberg Or Friday, I should say.

1:12:54 Adam Elizabeth Hsu and Kevin Bacon, and our old friend Joey Slatnick.

1:12:58 Greg Grunberg Yeah. Josh Brolin, Kim Dickens.

1:13:00 Adam Josh Brolin.

1:13:01 Greg Grunberg Mary Randall.

1:13:02 Adam All the big names. What?

1:13:06 Drew What is this?

1:13:06 Adam I don't know. I got a tape sent to me by some listener and I have no idea. It doesn't sound like porn to me. Heaven Only Knows.

1:13:14 Greg Grunberg Let's take a look at it.

1:13:15 Adam Yeah, we can't. We don't really have. Well, yeah, we can go into the commercial and try to mess with that.

1:13:20 Greg Grunberg What's it called? What does it say on the label?

1:13:21 Adam It's called Heaven Only Knows. There's a tape that was sent to me. Well, one can only hope. That would be a good name for a snuff film.

1:13:30 Drew That's what I'm saying.

1:13:32 Adam I want to give a shout out to Tom Shales, the fabulous critic for, I think he is for the Washington Post. Tom Shales, who the guy called me a neanderthal and a wolf man and attacked the show.

1:13:47 Drew No showmanship.

1:13:48 Caller He's hideous.

1:13:49 Adam Lacked showmanship and attacked Drew. He was sitting there. Preenish, prigish. Said he had a, he preened. No, what did Tom Shales say about you?

1:14:02 Drew Preening.

1:14:03 Adam Smugly preened was his description of Dr. Drew during the Loveline, the TV show. Tom will be glad to know that Comedy Central has picked up 26 new episodes of The Man Show. Another 26 episodes. So Tom, you can kiss my hairy ass.

1:14:23 Greg Grunberg There you go.

1:14:23 Adam Keep writing, Tom. Everyone's listening.

1:14:26 Drew When do you go back into production?

1:14:26 Adam Tom, you wrote that before our last 26 came out. Now we got another 26. So keep him coming, buddy.

1:14:34 Greg Grunberg Yeah, he's good luck for you.

1:14:35 Adam You're a good luck charm. We like to come over there and rub you a little bit. Rub that big fat belly of yours for good luck.

1:14:41 Drew When do you start up again?

1:14:43 Adam Who knows? Soon, huh? No, no, we got time. We got that. Mike?

1:14:48 Caller Yeah.

1:14:48 Adam You're 16?

1:14:49 Caller Yeah.

1:14:50 Adam What is up?

1:14:52 Caller I have a problem, I think. I masturbate like 800 times a day.

1:14:56 Caller Is that normal?

1:14:56 Adam Yeah, I'd like to see about 10 or 12. It seems a little light. Yeah, you're concerned about that, huh?

1:15:02 Greg Grunberg How long have you been doing that?

1:15:04 Caller Quite a while, actually.

1:15:05 Caller Since I was like 14.

1:15:07 Drew Two years.

1:15:08 Caller Like a long time.

1:15:08 Drew Is there any addiction to your family?

1:15:10 Caller I don't know.

1:15:12 Drew No alcoholism, anything like that?

1:15:13 Caller No, not really.

1:15:14 Drew And were you sexualized or sexual abused or anything as a young kid?

1:15:18 Caller Nothing, I can remember.

1:15:19 Adam I wish I got sexualized as a young kid.

1:15:21 Drew This may just be your biology, I suppose. Are you, any bipolar illness, panic, depression?

1:15:27 Caller Uh-huh, no, I don't think so.

1:15:28 Drew No psychiatric illness in the family? You want any medication?

1:15:32 Caller I'm from my allergy thing.

1:15:33 Greg Grunberg Okay. Are you enjoying it when you're doing it?

1:15:36 Caller When I masturbate? All the time.

1:15:38 Adam Yeah. Well.

1:15:39 Drew All the time is really the issue here.

1:15:40 Adam Hold on, exactly. You enjoy five and six, but six, seven and eight?

1:15:46 Greg Grunberg Three and four are pretty good.

1:15:47 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I'm an odd number guy. I'll enjoy like three, five, and nine.

1:15:51 Drew The other two you feel ashamed and disgusting.

1:15:53 Greg Grunberg Exactly. I wake up to number two.

1:15:55 Adam I boldly announce never again after number three.

1:15:59 Drew And shed one tear.

1:16:00 Adam Never again. Never will I waste my time on it.

1:16:02 Greg Grunberg Oh, here I go again.

1:16:03 Adam That's it. I'm getting to work on the great American novel. Hey, Mike. Yeah. It's a little excessive. I mean, you know, maybe, you know, on a snow day or something like that. But when the sun is shining, what do you consider normal?

1:16:20 Drew What's normal? Normal is without consequences. Okay. In other words, if it's taking away from his life in some way or causing consequences.

1:16:26 Adam Well, he doesn't. Here's the thing.

1:16:28 Drew Here's my problem.

1:16:30 Greg Grunberg Do you do this for a living?

1:16:31 Adam No.

1:16:32 Greg Grunberg Okay.

1:16:32 Adam Okay. You're not getting paid by the spoonful. Not getting paid by the whack. Okay. You're a rich man. Here's the deal, Mike. You lose your edge is the problem. You need to meet yourself a woman. You understand?

1:16:45 Caller Right.

1:16:46 Adam Yes. The problem is when you're walking around with a sack that's empty like a pinata that hasn't been stuffed yet, you have no energy for women.

1:16:58 Drew No will to live.

1:16:58 Adam You don't even want to talk to them. You'll find yourself not wanting to talk to women when you have nothing in the sack, when the tank is empty, you understand? You deplete that. That is your motivation.

1:17:10 Greg Grunberg You've lost your reason for meeting them.

1:17:11 Drew Your mojo.

1:17:12 Adam That's your mojo. It's your chi, you understand?

1:17:15 Caller Yeah. You think I should do it less?

1:17:16 Adam I think you should do it less and then you would meet a woman.

1:17:20 Greg Grunberg How's your performance with women?

1:17:23 Adam No, you're not with women.

1:17:25 Greg Grunberg Oh, he's not with women?

1:17:26 Adam No, no, no. Mike, you got to find a woman.

1:17:29 Greg Grunberg Yeah.

1:17:29 Adam All right. Then you have someone hold a magazine while you master.

1:17:33 Drew Adam and I can become voice readers. We can tell when someone's been sexually abused, when somebody's a virgin, when somebody's alcoholic, when somebody's a child of an alcoholic. We could just listen to the voice qualities.

1:17:43 Adam Well, why not? I mean, they all seem to affect that part of people. If you think about it, where does that voice come from? I mean, why are so many voices so different when we all sort of have the same parts? And they're so very different. And once in a while, if a guy's heavy set or a girl's petite, it's a factor. But most people's voice sort of explains what's going on with them.

1:18:10 Drew We read them, like, the way people dress and walk and body language and anything else.

1:18:14 Adam Yeah. Yeah. It's actually better to do this kind of stuff on the radio because you're not distracted. Oftentimes when you see somebody, especially if they're an attractive woman or something, you tend to start being less harsh on them or agreeing with them more. Much like you're doing to me right now.

1:18:30 Greg Grunberg Exactly. I'm reading you right now.

1:18:32 Adam Right.

1:18:36 Caller Where is she?

1:18:36 Drew In the bayou?

1:18:37 Caller Wow.

1:18:38 Adam That's what it sounds like when I tell a joke.

1:18:40 Drew Tisha?

1:18:41 Caller Hello?

1:18:41 Greg Grunberg Are you shooting Blair Witch 2? Where are you?

1:18:45 Caller Me? Yeah.

1:18:47 Caller Oh, sorry.

1:18:47 Caller You can hear that?

1:18:48 Caller The crickets?

1:18:48 Drew Yes.

1:18:49 Caller My window is open. It's kind of hot in here.

1:18:51 Drew Where are you?

1:18:53 Adam In her bedroom. Yeah.

1:18:54 Caller San Jose.

1:18:56 Adam Oh, San Jose?

1:18:57 Caller Yeah.

1:18:58 Adam That was fast. All right. So what's up?

1:19:01 Caller Well, my godson, he kind of makes himself throw up for, I guess, attention. And I'm just kind of wondering if that's something that he would have picked up from other people.

1:19:15 Drew How old is he?

1:19:16 Caller How old is he? He just turned three.

1:19:20 Drew No. This is just, he needs to see somebody. He needs to see a doctor first to make sure that you're right, that it's not a medical problem. And secondly, if he is so emotionally disturbed by the age of three that being anxious or being upset causes him to vomit, that is serious. It means he's very disturbed.

1:19:38 Caller Okay. Well, actually, it's not so much. I know that he got it from his little cousin. So I guess it's more I'm kind of worried about her. Because I know she's the one who got it.

1:19:46 Drew No, wait a minute. No, wait a minute.

1:19:47 Adam First off, that...

1:19:48 Greg Grunberg Got what?

1:19:49 Adam That apartment's got a smell. She said, that's the vomit family.

1:19:53 Greg Grunberg Yeah, that's why the window's open.

1:19:55 Adam Meet the vomitans. Everyone's just like, hi. I could sell that to the WB. The vomitans?

1:20:03 Drew Something is going on in that house. The kids don't get that kind of thing.

1:20:06 Adam Wait a minute. How old is his sister?

1:20:08 Caller Well, it's a little cousin. She's about the same age.

1:20:12 Greg Grunberg She does it too?

1:20:13 Caller She's the one who started it. Yeah. So when they'd be babysat together.

1:20:19 Drew No, something is going on.

1:20:20 Adam What do you mean she started it? She inducing vomiting, putting her hand down her throat?

1:20:24 Caller Yeah. She would stick her fingers down her throat. When she'd be upset, like during the tantrum and stuff, she would actually make herself throw up.

1:20:34 Greg Grunberg Have you ever heard of this before?

1:20:36 Drew No, but I don't do with little kids that much. But I would definitely see the pediatrician immediately.

1:20:41 Adam You don't count your kids as little kids?

1:20:44 Drew I'm amazed at how little I knew about kids while I raised my kids.

1:20:47 Adam Really?

1:20:47 Drew You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I did several months of pediatrics. It's amazing.

1:20:51 Adam Drew thought he had two girls and a boy for what, the first four years?

1:20:55 Drew Yeah.

1:20:55 Adam Turned out to be two boys and a girl, very different.

1:20:58 Greg Grunberg That's a common mistake.

1:20:59 Adam Sort of a relief though. Hey, Tisha, how screwed up is their family?

1:21:05 Caller Not really.

1:21:06 Drew Who is the babysitter that they're both with?

1:21:09 Caller Initially, it was a grandmother.

1:21:14 Adam Oh, Drew. By the way, grandmother is not a grunt. Drew. I mean, she said initially it was Jesus Christ. Guy? Yeah. Beard? Yeah. Okay. Sandals? Yeah.

1:21:28 Drew Grandma?

1:21:29 Adam No underpants. Jesus didn't wear underpants, did he?

1:21:31 Drew Is grandma okay?

1:21:32 Caller Grandma's okay, yeah.

1:21:33 Drew And when did the bombing start?

1:21:36 Caller I guess maybe about a year ago.

1:21:39 Drew And grandma was still the babysitter then?

1:21:41 Caller Yeah, it's always been her or with my godson's mother when she was staying home before she went back to work. She would watch her child.

1:21:51 Adam All right. Tisha? Yeah. They gotta see a doctor. Someone's gotta deal with this.

1:21:56 Caller Okay. Oh, really quick. Can I just say, Greg is really awesome on Fully City.

1:22:00 Greg Grunberg Thank you very much.

1:22:01 Caller I love that show.

1:22:02 Greg Grunberg Thank you. Thanks for watching.

1:22:03 Caller I'll go out and check the movie out, too.

1:22:05 Greg Grunberg Yeah, you'll enjoy it.

1:22:05 Adam Tomorrow.

1:22:06 Caller Tomorrow, yeah.

1:22:07 Adam There's a big vomit scene in it.

1:22:08 Greg Grunberg Yeah.

1:22:09 Adam Yay.

1:22:09 Caller There we go.

1:22:10 Greg Grunberg There actually is.

1:22:11 Adam Yeah, well.

1:22:11 Greg Grunberg An invisible vomit scene.

1:22:13 Adam Invisible guy vomit.

1:22:14 Greg Grunberg Yeah. Yeah. Kevin, he's just, we can't bring him back from invisibility. And it starts affecting him physically. And he throws up. Wow.

1:22:23 Drew Yeah.

1:22:23 Greg Grunberg And that leads to his insanity.

1:22:25 Drew Is that invisible also?

1:22:26 Greg Grunberg Yeah, it is. It is. It was great. It's actually, the effects in this film are unbelievable. That was one of them.

1:22:31 Adam Yeah. What was the budget on this film?

1:22:33 Greg Grunberg It was way up there.

1:22:35 Adam You know what it was?

1:22:36 Greg Grunberg I think it was over $100 million.

1:22:37 Adam Really? Yeah.

1:22:38 Greg Grunberg They're going to kill me for saying that. I think they're reporting around 90. But I think it may have, but it's all on the screen. It really is. This is something that you've never seen anything like this before in your life. Much like a three-year-old throwing up.

1:22:49 Adam I think it's a good thing to say it had a higher budget. If I'm the film company, I mean, it's like if I'm trying to sell a car, I'd rather say it was a $40,000 car than a $20,000 car. That's true. I'm more apt to see a movie that someone has wasted a 100 million on.

1:23:08 Greg Grunberg Yeah.

1:23:08 Adam Then I hate it when someone goes, we made this film on a shoestring budget. No, no, no. I agree with you there. It was $1,800 we made. I'm like, no, sorry. Exactly. I don't want my ticket price to be like one-tenth of the cost of the film. That's true.

1:23:23 Greg Grunberg You're not impressing me by telling me that.

1:23:25 Adam Right. I love the idea. I wanted to see the Titanic long before it came out just based on, listen, you take a $200 million dump, I want to look at it. Anything that was a couple of hundred million, I don't care what it is. I want to look.

1:23:39 Greg Grunberg What went into this?

1:23:39 Adam Yeah. I got to see where this money went.

1:23:41 Greg Grunberg Well, you'll see it in the Hollow Man for sure.

1:23:43 Adam Rosemary? You're 26?

1:23:46 Caller Yes, I am.

1:23:47 Adam What is that?

1:23:48 Caller Well, just lately, I'm, well, I don't know how to explain it. I suffered from migraines. They ended up sticking me on some medication, Imatrix and some antidepressants. Well, with the thing, I have no problem having an orgasm, you know, prior to any of this. I mean, even with my toys and all that stuff. I mean, I have an active, you know, sexual life. But ever since I've been taking these medications and getting shots of Demerol and everything, I can't seem to come.

1:24:20 Drew What antidepressants are you on?

1:24:22 Caller Actually, they're white. I don't even know the name. I'm sitting in my room at the start.

1:24:27 Drew All right. Well, serotonin reuptake inhibitors typically will do this. Plus, opiates. If you're taking massive doses of opiates like Demerol, that also will affect you. And maybe you're becoming opiate addicted.

1:24:39 Caller Oh, really? Because normally they... I just started taking imatrix. I don't know.

1:24:43 Drew The imatrix won't do this.

1:24:44 Caller No, because see, before they gave me the imatrix, I took the midrin and then I took another one with the sedatives.

1:24:49 Drew That's not doing this.

1:24:50 Adam All right. But let's keep talking about it, Rosemary.

1:24:52 Caller Yeah. Well, I don't understand.

1:24:53 Adam No, I mean, I want to keep talking about the imatrix.

1:24:55 Drew Yeah. I told you what's doing it. I told you what's doing it.

1:24:58 Caller All right.

1:24:58 Adam But let's get back to the imatrix. Yeah.

1:24:59 Greg Grunberg It might be the imatrix.

1:25:00 Caller You think so?

1:25:01 Adam I'm guessing it's the imatrix.

1:25:02 Drew I told you what's doing it.

1:25:04 Greg Grunberg Imatrix.

1:25:05 Drew It's your serotonin reuptake inhibitor and these opiates you're taking.

1:25:08 Caller So how would I go about getting off them?

1:25:10 Drew Talk to your doctor about it.

1:25:11 Caller Well, I tried and they just say, Oh, just come in and get a shot of demoral.

1:25:15 Drew No. There's something very wrong with how you're being treated. Have you seen a psychiatrist?

1:25:21 Caller Yeah. Well, she thinks, I see a therapist anyways for past issues and my children see a therapist.

1:25:26 Drew Have you seen a psychiatrist?

1:25:28 Caller Yeah. In past, but not recently.

1:25:30 Drew Then you need to see a psychiatrist because there are ways to adjust these medications so you don't get that side effect. Things like Remeron, Serizone, Wellbutrin don't have that same side effect.

1:25:40 Adam All right.

1:25:41 Caller Okay. That's great.

1:25:43 Adam Great. That Remeron is a great drug because it sounds like you're drunk when you're prescribing it. You're going to need a Remeron. Are you trying to say Reverend? What the hell? What kind of name is that?

1:25:57 Greg Grunberg Remeron? What is it?

1:25:58 Adam Remeron. Remeron. You know what Remeron is? It's like the planet that he got crapped on or something. He's in the Remeron, in the Halaton Galaxy. Who comes up with these names, Drew? We got to get on that board. They name it after-

1:26:17 Drew Kryptonite comes from Remeron.

1:26:18 Adam Right. Yeah. That's where they mine Kryptonite. All right. We'll break. When we come back-

1:26:24 Drew Jerry's back.

1:26:25 Adam What?

1:26:25 Drew Jerry's back.

1:26:26 Adam Oh, Jerry's back. Oh, the guy never had a date?

1:26:28 Drew Right.

1:26:29 Adam Wasn't it too late? It started at 29? Hey, Jerry, where did you go, buddy?

1:26:32 Caller When I was moving the phone and I accidentally hung up.

1:26:36 Adam You sure you didn't do a little raping?

1:26:39 Caller I'm sure.

1:26:40 Adam Okay. Hold on.

1:26:42 Greg Grunberg You go right to that.

1:26:43 Adam Glad you're amused by that.

1:26:45 Drew Darrell laughs.

1:26:47 Adam Greg Grunberg is our guest tonight from Felicity in Holloman out tomorrow and when we come back, we'll speak to Jerry who dropped his phone and it hung up on him. But we'll get back to why he's never had a date in his life after this.

1:26:59 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Loveline will be right back.

1:27:39 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number. Oh, I forget about the phone number. Greg Grunberg is our guest tonight from Felicity and also from Hollow Man. Engineer, I mean, yes, Engineer Anderson just brought me in this facts. And Drew, how many facts would you say Engineer Anderson has brought me in, in the few years that he's been here?

1:28:02 Drew Zero.

1:28:03 Adam Zero. This is the first. Yeah, this one says, Is Adam an actor as a guest on the show? Is he one of the OK 1%? Just curious. Here's what I'm curious about on this show. And Drew, I know you have a self-esteem problem.

1:28:19 Drew Yes. Thank you for bringing that up, though.

1:28:21 Adam Okay, but please try to get aside from that for a second. Drew, someone get Drew some coffee. We should be paying attention over here.

1:28:30 Drew I'm having eye contact with you every second.

1:28:31 Greg Grunberg Are you landing planes? What are you doing there?

1:28:33 Adam He's waving his mug around. He's got eight minutes in the show left. But seriously, Drew, are there any other radio shows where the host gets sort of... I don't... Beat up is a strong word, but sort of screwed with by the staff?

1:28:52 Drew I just imagine that's where all radio shows go.

1:28:54 Adam No, they don't go that way. They don't go that way. No other show has an engineer that busts the chops of the guy who's hosting the show. And that goes for you, Anderson. And I'm going on a rant against actors two nights ago, and you're chiming in. Oh, is that mean? All the people on the show, you don't... Yeah, yeah, and then you run over and hand me this crap?

1:29:16 Caller Danielle was going to bring it into you, but she was busy, so I said I'd take it.

1:29:18 Adam All right, all right. But it echoes whatever it is you were busting my chops on the other night. Listen, here's your job. You slide things around and pot things up, or you agree with me. That is it. Those are your two options. Jesus, between you and Ann over here with the chop busting all the time. I can't believe that this goes on. Can it? Drew, you don't know you're alive unless someone's kicking you in the nuts. But does this go on in other markets, in other stations? Quiet down.

1:29:52 Greg Grunberg Without getting into it though, answer the question.

1:29:54 Adam Oh, listen, I hate actors.

1:29:56 Greg Grunberg I'm having a good time. You guys are nice guys, I have to say. I really am having a good time.

1:30:00 Adam I think they're flawed, but that doesn't, and I hate many professions.

1:30:06 Drew You hate comedians.

1:30:07 Adam Oh, yeah, I don't like comedians here. Oh, but listen, I love guys that are bigger than me.

1:30:14 Greg Grunberg Okay, well you got that going on there.

1:30:15 Adam It all gets made up for in a size thing. No, I like most of the actors that come on this show, but the people that bitch and moan about what I said on Killborn can still kiss my ass. Thank you. Jerry?

1:30:30 Drew Oh no, Jerry, you're there?

1:30:32 Adam Oh, he better be there.

1:30:34 Caller What?

1:30:35 Adam Oh boy.

1:30:36 Caller I'm here.

1:30:37 Adam Did you fall asleep there, Jerry?

1:30:39 Caller On my way.

1:30:41 Adam Hey, Jerry.

1:30:42 Caller Yes, I'm here.

1:30:43 Greg Grunberg So are we, Jerry.

1:30:45 Adam Remember the part about us getting back to you after the commercial?

1:30:48 Caller Yes.

1:30:49 Adam Yeah. Okay, so you've never had a date.

1:30:53 Greg Grunberg Well, you're a charmer, Jerry.

1:30:55 Caller That's right. I'm more charming when I'm awake.

1:31:00 Adam All right. Well, hold on, Jerry. We'll put you on hold, all right? Let's get back to sleep. Hey, Jerry.

1:31:05 Caller Yes, yes, I'm here.

1:31:06 Adam Are you a little crazy?

1:31:08 Caller No.

1:31:09 Adam You're not?

1:31:10 Caller I'm just sleepy.

1:31:10 Drew Why haven't you had a date?

1:31:12 Adam You're not on meds or anything?

1:31:13 Caller No.

1:31:14 Adam No.

1:31:14 Drew Why haven't you had a date?

1:31:16 Caller Well, let's see. All through high school, I was working in the family business and that lasted till I was 27 and out of college.

1:31:24 Drew What was the family business?

1:31:25 Caller It was a grocery store and basically...

1:31:28 Caller No.

1:31:28 Drew That's not the reason you didn't date.

1:31:30 Caller Well...

1:31:31 Adam I clean carpets. I manage to get laid once in a while. All right. So what does you having a job have to do with not getting laid?

1:31:41 Drew I'm not having a date.

1:31:43 Caller Nothing.

1:31:43 Greg Grunberg Well... Are you pretty normal physically? Are you attractive?

1:31:48 Caller I'm kind of a big guy, but I don't see how that would affect anything.

1:31:52 Adam Well, obviously, it's had some effect on. Are you a virgin?

1:31:57 Drew He's never had a date, Adam.

1:31:58 Caller What do you think?

1:31:58 Adam Yeah, I know, but there's guys who never have date have done a little raping or been with a hooker or something. You know what I'm saying? Jerry, what's the farthest you ever got with a woman?

1:32:10 Caller Um, I shook hands once.

1:32:13 Caller Ooh.

1:32:14 Adam Just masturbating to that tonight. Hey, Jerry.

1:32:17 Caller Yes.

1:32:18 Adam All right. So why? What's up? What's up with you?

1:32:21 Caller Well, I, that's what I'm trying to find out. It's just-

1:32:25 Greg Grunberg How old is he? I don't believe you, Jerry.

1:32:28 Caller You don't believe me.

1:32:29 Adam I believe him.

1:32:30 Greg Grunberg You do?

1:32:30 Adam Oh, yes.

1:32:31 Greg Grunberg Really?

1:32:31 Adam Oh, talking about voice reading.

1:32:33 Greg Grunberg Sounds like a normal guy.

1:32:34 Adam No, crazy.

1:32:35 Greg Grunberg Really?

1:32:35 Adam Looney is attuned to this, Jerry. Yeah. What are your hobbies, Jerry?

1:32:40 Caller Well, I work. That's about all I can do right now.

1:32:43 Adam What do you do?

1:32:44 Caller I'm a civil engineer.

1:32:45 Adam All right. So you went to college. You got a degree, right? And you do engineering.

1:32:51 Caller Yeah.

1:32:51 Adam Let me ask you a quick question here, Jerry. I'm building a garage addition and I'm adding on to the front of it. I got a couple of six by six steel columns on there and a glulam beam on the top on the saddle. Why do I got to pour a goddamn grade beam in between the two pads for the steel column? Why is that a code? Why do I have to build a bunker? Can't I just build a garage? You know what I mean? I got 24 yards of concrete in a pad for a garage. The footings are so big and there's grade beams going everywhere. What is up with that?

1:33:27 Caller And you're just building a... How big of an addition are you building on?

1:33:30 Adam A 20 by 20.

1:33:31 Caller Well, you need something to hold it up.

1:33:33 Adam Yeah, but I don't need a grade beam running through the footing, through the foundation. All right. All right. So anyway, you're a smart guy. You make okay money, right?

1:33:45 Caller Yeah.

1:33:45 Adam You're a big guy. Could you lose a little weight?

1:33:50 Caller I could try. That's... What do you weigh? About 320.

1:33:54 Adam What is a big guy? Well, it's all right. He's 5'8. Now, how tall are you?

1:33:58 Caller 5'6.

1:33:59 Adam Oh. No, that's better. So, Jerry, maybe the weight is an issue.

1:34:06 Drew Or maybe the weight is there to keep people away.

1:34:08 Adam Yeah.

1:34:09 Drew More importantly, it's just part of the overall insulation you have from people.

1:34:13 Adam Yeah. What are you hiding from, Jerry? Why are you scared?

1:34:16 Caller Well, I don't think I'm scared.

1:34:18 Adam Yeah, but there's a reason. You're staying away from people. Why are you staying away?

1:34:23 Caller Well, there was a couple ex-friends of mine that I had who advised me that it would be better for me to remain alone because it would be healthier.

1:34:32 Drew Why?

1:34:33 Caller Well, because they thought I could just... They told me you should be able to live your life alone until whenever.

1:34:42 Adam All right.

1:34:42 Caller Even though they were married, then the only thing that kept me from beating the crap out of them, both of them, is that I don't want to go to prison.

1:34:50 Drew What?

1:34:51 Adam You still think Jerry's a regular guy?

1:34:52 Caller I think this is an insult.

1:34:53 Greg Grunberg Yeah, I don't know, Jerry. You should be working at the Renaissance Fair.

1:34:56 Adam Hey, Jerry. Yeah, they need another Henry VIII.

1:34:59 Greg Grunberg Exactly.

1:35:00 Adam Jerry, listen to me, brother. Here's what you need to do, all right? Now listen, I'm always right, right? Yes, quiet down and listen, especially about these grade beams and these hold downs I got to put all over the place.

1:35:14 Caller If it's in the UBC, you got to do it.

1:35:16 Adam Just listen to me. You need to lose some weight. Start going on walks, start eating right, get control of that, start taking charge of your life. Start doing that and other things will start working out. But that's your first move. Don't worry about anything else. Start eating right and get a little exercise. Okay? That's it for your health. All right? The women thing will melt away as the pounds melt away.

1:35:42 Caller Wow.

1:35:43 Adam Thank you.

1:35:44 Greg Grunberg You're a genius.

1:35:46 Adam Thank you. I got to talk to you guys about this bunker I'm building. Okay. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be back after this.

1:35:56 Caller Back in a minute.

1:36:33 Adam Yep. All right. There you have it. I want to thank Greg Grunberg for coming in. You can catch him on the Hollow Man, which is opening tomorrow. Tomorrow.

1:36:43 Greg Grunberg August 4th.

1:36:44 Adam About 30 seconds.

1:36:45 Greg Grunberg Yeah.

1:36:46 Adam Tomorrow, but then you'll have to wait a few more hours.

1:36:48 Greg Grunberg That's right.

1:36:48 Adam And Felicity at Wednesday nights at 9 o'clock on the DUBBA DUBBA DUBBA DUBBA DUBBA DUBBA DUBBA DUBBA DUBBA DUBBA WB.

1:36:56 Greg Grunberg There you go.

1:36:56 Adam I knew that was a winner. Remember when they told us that five years ago?

1:36:59 Drew You said, I can't wait to say that again.

1:37:01 Adam I said, this is the worst campaign I've ever heard. It's never going to last and whoever came up with it should be fired. I hope they fired whoever came up with that.

1:37:08 Drew And they said, Mr. Carolla, just read it.

1:37:10 Adam And I said, this is horrible. Yeah. What was that for? All right. Well, forget it.

1:37:14 Drew It was when we were a Fox show.

1:37:15 Adam That's right. I want to thank Danielle for doing a great job on the phones and the coffee and everything else all week. Producer Anne for weaving her magic, even if it was from home. And of course, the defiant one, Engineer Anderson for pushing the buttons and sliding the potentiometers and making us sound so crystal clear all week long. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. I'll come over there and give you a hand job if I have to.

1:37:45 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, August 3, 2000