Episode 1000754887172

0:53 Adam Loveline is meant for the nobody.

0:57 Voiceover Loveline making fans. This is actually oriented content. Content, content. Listen to discretion. It's advised. It's Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, coast to coast.

1:13 Adam Hey, hey, hey, hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Fact number, 310-840-4051. Almost did it, almost gave the old one out. Alrighty, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Dictionary Medicine Specialist. And allegedly, Tommy Maddox is coming here tomorrow night, the quarterback from the LA Extreme. And of course, Drew knows from his playing days at UCLA, where Drew is a huge fan because his wife went to UCLA. Hey, Anne, you really want to just put Dr. Drew in a nutshell. You want to know where his nuts are at. You want to know what happened to him as a man. Dr. Drew goes to USC. His wife goes to UCLA. UCLA, for those of you around the country, USC and UCLA is as big a rivalry as there is in Collegian Sports. It really is. It really is huge. There are a couple other that rival it, but this is a huge one. There is no man, especially man, in his right mind, who went to FC who could become a UCLA fan. But where is Drew every Saturday, come September? Where is he? He is dutifully supporting the UCLA Bruins because that's the school his wife took a couple of extension courses at in 1984. That's all you need to know about Drew, everyone. That's it. You want to think of Drew? Close your eyes, picture him wearing the golden blue of UCLA, cheering on the Bruins after he graduated from USC. That's all you need to know. That's all you need to know.

2:59 Drew And am I right? Is that all?

3:01 Adam That's done. Wait, wait, wait.

3:02 Drew But Drew. Thank you. Yes? How could you do that?

3:06 Adam All right, go ahead.

3:08 Drew I went to college somewhere else. I was graduate school. You don't get connected the same way. You don't. Did you use to go to the games when you were there? A little bit, but not much. Secondly, the Rose Bowl is in our backyard.

3:22 Adam Before they moved to the Rose Bowl, you were there following.

3:25 Drew No, no.

3:26 When you cheer for the other team, whoever is playing, you feel like.

3:29 Adam When they play USC, who do you cheer for? Talk about P. Whip, everybody. Rooting, scared to root for his alma mater. That is P.

3:43 Drew I know, Adam, you would know what it means to have gone to a graduate school.

3:48 Adam Oh my God.

3:49 Drew The experience is so far from yours. It's not quite like junior college. It's a little different.

3:55 Adam That is, it's like you being like a like, not like being on the Lakers, that's like being a Laker cheerleader or a trainer or something, and then cheering for the Celtics because your wife's Irish. Oh my God. That's all you need to know about Drew. Everyone cheering on the rivals.

4:13 Drew I think I was going to thank him because this weekend, he kindly took my kids in, helped them build their Pinewood Derby cars.

4:20 Adam Three of them.

4:21 Drew Three of them.

4:22 Adam What are you telling? He's got three kids.

4:24 Drew Either he's pissed off about that or he doesn't want me to thank him. You enjoyed it, Adam?

4:27 Adam No. No, I didn't. No. I don't enjoy it. No. I love his kids, though. They're great kids.

4:34 You don't like building stuff?

4:36 Adam No. What? Not for other people.

4:38 Okay.

4:39 Adam Not really. No. I mean, I enjoyed as much as I enjoy doing comedy. I don't enjoy it. I want some money for it. I want to do it for myself. Really? You know, it's weird about building and stuff. I love the notion of building. And I love building stuff for myself. Right. And I would like to make something for someone for maybe a present, perhaps. Don't mind that every once in a while. But I get calls from people like, Dad, you come over. I'm caulking my tub. And they're like, that's what you do. I'm not a beaver. You know what I mean? I mean, I appreciate it, but no. I'd rather Drew and his kids didn't come over.

5:22 All right, let's go to calls.

5:25 Adam Now, I love his kids. And every time I see those kids, I was saying to somebody today, this is why parents should be blamed for the woes of society. I've said it a thousand times. Those three kids, are we ever going to have to worry about them robbing a bank? Are we ever going to have to worry about them ripping somebody off or committing a crime or having 15 kids out of wedlock? Is society ever going to have to worry about Drew's kids? Then when you say it that way, you start laughing and you think, well, of course not. Then you think, well, why? Then you realize, parents, good parents who can pay for nannies, who can pay for repairs. No, this is why I know that society could be fixed if everyone owned up to their parenting and they don't. This is why I want to hold the parents responsible. You give birth to five criminals, you should do time. All right. Beautiful, beautiful kids.

6:26 Drew Thank you.

6:26 Adam Wanted to eat them. I don't know why Paulina had to answer the goddamn Pinewood Derby.

6:31 Drew Yeah, she just wanted to build a car.

6:32 Adam That's my point. Now, I'm on a third car now, for someone who's not even in it.

6:36 Drew But what's interesting is a chick, she just knows for the race, it's like, I just want to build a car for the boys on a car.

6:44 Adam These aren't soapbox racers, you understand. These are the miniature little things.

6:50 Drew Come on. She has chick quads.

6:53 Adam How dare you, true.

6:54 Drew No, that's a chick thing.

6:55 Adam She's an individual.

6:57 Drew You know what I'm talking about?

6:59 Adam I don't even know the girl's name. I know you got Jordan Douglas and the chick.

7:04 Drew You know what I'm talking about.

7:06 Adam That would be a good sitcom, wouldn't it? Yeah, I know what you're talking about. That one, the blonde one, right? She's got her cheeks a little rosier.

7:13 Jessica? Yes.

7:14 Adam You're 24?

7:15 Caller Yes.

7:15 Adam Hey, Drew, there's a chick on the line. You want to talk to her?

7:19 Drew You're doing too much of that goddamn Margarita stuff.

7:21 I'm always like that.

7:22 Drew I should first do stuff.

7:23 Okay.

7:24 Caller I have a question.

7:25 Adam All right, baby. Sorry.

7:26 Caller Okay. I've been having sex for about four years. For the past two months, right before I get ready to orgasm, I pee on myself.

7:39 Caller Is that normal?

7:40 Caller It's common.

7:41 Drew It's common. Sometimes it's not urine. Sometimes it can be a female ejaculate. You sure it's pee?

7:49 See, I'm not sure.

7:50 Caller It's just like it soaks me.

7:52 So I think it's pee.

7:55 Drew Unless it smells like pee, it's probably not pee. It's probably just a female ejaculate.

8:00 Adam Why don't you eat some asparagus and a couple of these vitamins?

8:04 Drew Yeah, pick a bee vitamin.

8:05 Adam She'll be good. She'll figure it out. Put those white sheets on there. Eat a couple of bee vitamins and a jar of asparagus. I'm sure what they call a bunch of asparagus, a cluster of asparagus, and see what happens.

8:21 Could it be because I'm overweight though?

8:23 Drew No.

8:24 No?

8:24 Drew No, I doubt it.

8:26 Adam Who's giving you? What? Is this with a vibrator?

8:28 Caller No, it's with my husband.

8:30 Adam Nice. Is he giving you the oral sex?

8:34 Yeah, sometimes first.

8:36 Adam Oh, you ever?

8:38 Caller No, I've never peed whenever he gives me oral.

8:41 Adam Why not?

8:44 Caller I don't know.

8:44 I guess his tool just does it.

8:47 Drew That's warm.

8:48 Adam Well, you mean you're not having the orgasm when he gives you the oral?

8:51 Yeah, but the night orgasm again, whenever we're having sex and I just feel like I lose like all control and he's like, oh, I think I peed.

9:00 Drew No, no.

9:00 Adam Okay. No, you can have an orgasm without pain.

9:05 Yes, but just like for the past two months, it's been more, it's been happening more where I urinate or more juices come out than normal.

9:16 Drew No, your husband's not bothered by this, is he?

9:18 No, it was just uncommon.

9:20 Drew In fact, you can see that's why he keeps going, because the guy is like, oh, great. Let's get that one again.

9:26 Adam That's an angle of yours, Drew, but the novelty of the squirting vagina, much like the flower that's worn on a man's lapel, the squirt you in the eye, would wear off with me very quickly. I'd be into it for the first night or two saying, all right, finally, finally something tangible to show for all my hard work. It'd be like winning the Lombardi Trophy or something, you'll actually have something to show for all your hard sex work, something to hold over your head. But in year number 11 of marriage, her squirting all over the bedroom, that would get old for me and it would get old for you too. Even though you're very, very passionate, passionate, passionate man Paco.

10:08 Caller Yes, this is Paco.

10:10 Adam Especially about the UCLA Bruins, he loves those Bruins. Until his wife switches teams and then of course, he's going to have to learn to love another team. Paco, you're 22.

10:18 Caller Yeah, I have a question. I think I have a hernia and the doctors, they do the tests for you where they tell you to turn and cough. Yeah. I want to do that to myself.

10:29 Drew You can't really. I mean, you really can't, Paco, unless you've felt a lot of hernias, which I doubt you have. What makes you think you have one?

10:37 Caller Well, when I look at my testicles, I see the Virgin Mary. I see the Virgin Mary everywhere.

10:45 Adam Oh, really?

10:46 Caller Yes.

10:47 Adam Hey, if you're looking at my ass, what would you see?

10:49 Caller I would see the Virgin Mary.

10:50 Adam All right. I know how to play.

10:52 Drew I see Santa Claus.

10:57 Adam All right. I got a little look.

11:02 Drew I kind of wonder what he was psychotic.

11:04 Adam No.

11:05 Drew He's a spoof?

11:05 Adam No. Paco, he's like a white guy pretending he's a Latin guy. Sarah?

11:11 Caller Hi.

11:11 Adam You're 22.

11:12 Caller What's up?

11:13 Caller I have a question about my boyfriend, actually.

11:15 Adam All right.

11:16 Caller He treats me like I'm two. We've been together for seven months and we've lived together the whole time that we've been going out. He's talking about marriage.

11:24 Drew Stop for a second. How does one end up living together immediately? How did that come about?

11:29 Caller Because I knew him my freshman year and we just ran back into each other, and he started hanging out at my house and started going out, and he just never went home, basically.

11:38 Adam He moved in? I did that once.

11:40 Drew Really?

11:42 Caller I like to watch TV, and he has a very big problem with that. He thinks that it's evil or something. I don't know.

11:49 Drew Television is evil.

11:50 Caller He has a problem with that.

11:51 Drew Aren't you in your house?

11:53 Caller Yeah.

11:53 Adam All right. Is your TV?

11:55 Caller Yeah.

11:56 Adam Yeah.

11:56 Caller Actually, he can go.

11:57 Adam Why don't you throw this guy out?

11:59 Caller Well, that's why I'm calling you guys actually because depending on what you tell me is what I'm going to do.

12:05 Adam I don't like that.

12:07 Caller He tells me that I'm tripping. If I ask him a question or if I get excited like, oh, my friend's coming over, he's like, calm down. You're tripping. You're tripping.

12:15 Drew Is he most of the time high on pod or something?

12:18 Caller Yeah.

12:20 Drew Well, he has an emotion.

12:22 Caller He's like, hello.

12:23 Adam Hello. You won the lottery again. Hey, Sarah, are you a little nutty too?

12:31 Caller No. I've never been told.

12:33 Adam Yeah. Because you're a little speedy. So if he is Mr. Mellow, there's going to be trouble.

12:39 Drew Not necessarily. That can go together sometimes.

12:42 Adam No. I know you're thinking, no, no. You're speedy too. No, but he keeps telling her she's tripping. Yeah. Sarah.

12:50 Drew She's bugging him.

12:50 Adam You don't like this guy. Get him out of the apartment.

12:54 Drew You don't have to settle with this guy. That's what I'm picking up. Is it somehow, it doesn't occur to you that this may not be somebody you want to keep around.

13:03 Adam How's your self-esteem, Sarah?

13:04 Drew Oh, please.

13:05 Adam It doesn't sound great. Pretty good, I guess. It is?

13:09 Drew Why would you allow this freeloader to just hang out with you?

13:12 Caller Well, see, he's not freeloading though. I mean, he works.

13:14 Caller He works 12 hours a day.

13:15 Drew He pays your rent?

13:17 Caller Yeah.

13:17 Adam Okay.

13:18 Caller You need him to pay the rent?

13:19 Caller No.

13:20 Adam Why not? What do you do?

13:22 Caller I take care of my friend's daughter at the moment.

13:26 Adam He's paying your rent?

13:28 Drew We both are. I pay for it.

13:30 Caller He pays for it. And my cousin lives with me, so he pays a third of it.

13:33 Drew All right.

13:33 Adam So you don't need him.

13:36 Drew Do you like him?

13:38 Caller I do. I really do. And he's talking about marriage and everything, but I don't want to.

13:42 Caller You love him?

13:43 Drew Are you in love with him? Or do you know what that means? I mean, do you really understand what love is?

13:49 Caller I thought I did, but now it's, I don't know.

13:52 Adam Hey, Sarah, here's a compromise. Why don't you get him out of there and then continue dating and see how it goes? There you go, baby.

14:00 Drew That's a reasonable. There, yeah. A little more structure, a little more.

14:03 Adam There's the point. All right? Tell him Drew said so. Okay.

14:06 Drew And really, if you want to have a healthy relationship, get him over to MA. I mean, if you get him married, guys, this is a pod.

14:13 Adam Listen, it's tough to live with a pain in the ass in close quarters with your goofball cousin too. Get him out of there. He can see you dating and then if you want to break things off, it's not so bad. You break things off now. You're living with a dude for a month while he finds another place, maybe longer. Then he starts bringing dates home. It's a disaster. Aaron?

14:33 Yeah.

14:34 Adam You're 17?

14:35 Caller What's up? I stayed over at my coach's house for the weekend and he got real comfortable like walking around naked and everything.

14:45 Drew What do you mean coach? What kind of coach?

14:47 Caller My baseball coach.

14:49 Adam What's the name of the team?

14:51 Caller Tiger.

14:53 Adam What position do you play?

14:55 Caller Well, I played first base.

14:59 Caller All right.

15:00 Adam You're left handed?

15:02 Caller Right handed.

15:02 Drew You're in the high school team?

15:04 Caller Yes, sir.

15:05 Drew All right. How was it your parents let you spend the weekend with your coach?

15:09 Caller Well, it was because they were going out of town for like another honeymoon for their 20th anniversary. And so, they had arranged that I could stay with him. Really? Yes. Because he was a very trusting guy.

15:23 Drew Did he do anything peculiar other than sort of walk around naked? Did he touch you or anything or suggest anything?

15:28 Caller No, but he kind of like convinced me to come to the movies saying that it was okay and stuff like that.

15:34 Drew Okay for you to walk around with that and close on?

15:37 Caller Yeah. I mean, I thought that that should be his thing.

15:41 Drew I'm concerned.

15:42 Adam You're calling from Washington, DC.?

15:44 Caller Yeah.

15:45 Adam What is it, about 12 degrees over there now?

15:48 Caller No, not that cold.

15:50 Adam How hot is it? You got to be walking around the house naked. I live in LA. I got a pair of sweatpants on and a sweatjacket.

15:57 Caller I think it's not that cold.

15:59 Drew You missed your point.

16:00 Adam I think you may be missing my point. It's not 85 in the house is what I'm saying, Eric.

16:07 Thank you.

16:08 Drew It's very difficult to make a point. It's the dead of winter in part of the country where there's snow.

16:14 Yeah.

16:16 Drew Thank you. I'm concerned, Eric. I certainly would not spend any time alone with him. He may be gearing up to something here. I think nothing happened. Everything is fine and maybe he isn't. Maybe it's innocent enough to stay away. I would take my concerns to somebody at school. I can watch and take my concerns to somebody. I can even know what else this guy is up to.

16:38 Adam Man, that's a tough thing to do at 17.

16:40 Drew Just talk to someone. The same way you asked us, should I be concerned, is what went on.

16:44 Caller You know you can't do that.

16:46 Drew How do we get the coach in trouble?

16:47 Adam Yeah, I don't want to get him in trouble, but I saw him walking around naked last weekend. He wanted me to get naked.

16:52 Drew If it's an issue that's going to become something, guess what? Then it should become something.

16:56 Adam You know what I mean? Yeah. All right.

16:59 Drew I'm with you.

17:01 Adam Maybe you should talk to his folks, although they're the ones who thought it was a good idea to go over there.

17:06 Drew Bill Price-Reed.

17:07 Adam I don't know. I wouldn't care if that happened to my kid.

17:09 Drew But you understand that it all goes well in that case, but you got to report it.

17:14 Adam I would have said, listen, you should have blown him. You're getting a starting rotation. That's what I feel, my kid. We're going to win at all costs.

17:22 Drew Julie?

17:22 Adam Yeah. You're 19. What's up?

17:25 Caller Okay. I'm having a problem because my entire situation right now is the worst it's ever been. I could say I'm in a really bad state of, I have nowhere to go. I've been living with the same person for the past two years now.

17:40 Drew Why don't you live with your parents?

17:41 Caller Well, okay. I was adopted when I was eight years old. My dad died and it didn't work out. I had problems so I wound up moving out and moving in with a friend of mine that was a guy. We were together and dated for a while.

17:53 Drew How old were you when that happened?

17:55 Caller I had my baby when I was around 17.

17:58 Drew How old were you when you moved in with the guy?

18:00 Caller I moved in with them at about 16.

18:03 Drew How old was the guy?

18:04 Caller I would say he's three years older than me.

18:06 Drew 19. Can you imagine that 19-year-old guy?

18:08 Caller Well, that was a couple of years ago.

18:11 Drew Is it the thing?

18:12 Caller I was with him but the thing is that he took care of me for a while. He's not here right now but he took care of me for a while and it was like I needed that really badly at that time because I had nowhere to go.

18:24 Drew All right. Okay.

18:26 Caller I was with him for a while and the thing is that I was never really in love with him.

18:30 Drew That's right. What's going on now?

18:32 Caller Well, the thing is that he had a friend that I had actually, I was a virgin before I was with him but I had a little thing with one of his friends that I really started to get attached to. He went to college shortly after that and I had only been with the two of them and it was within the same month, really, that it happened and he left and it was really hard on me because of that. But he left and he didn't feel the same way back for me in return, so he left.

19:06 Adam Hold on, I'm going to go to number two, Drew, do you want to cover here? Hi, hey Julie, one more time, David, what's the problem?

19:14 Caller Okay, the problem is that I'm not sure exactly how we go about telling him that it might not be his baby.

19:24 Drew This is a child that's already been born? Yeah. How old is the child?

19:28 Caller One and a half.

19:29 Drew He's been raising it as his own? Is he beginning to doubt that it's his for some reason?

19:35 Caller No, but the thing is that-

19:37 Adam He's got an eight month old pregnant, so we know it's his.

19:42 Caller I really would like to tell the other guy he's back.

19:45 Caller He was gone.

19:47 Drew No, Julie, you are so full of it. You want to tell the other guy to try to reel him in.

19:52 Caller Well, see, I care about him.

19:54 Drew That is so cool to your child and the other person that's been raising this child.

20:00 Caller The problem is that, I mean, I'm so dependent on this person that I've been with this guy all the time. I don't want to rock the boat, obviously.

20:07 Drew Yes, he's raising your child.

20:09 Adam Rock the boat. You're going to run an iceberg in the side of it.

20:12 Drew This is a Navy scrub coming up under the ship here. It's going to blow it to pieces.

20:17 Adam So you're so friendly with your ice.

20:20 Caller But at the same time, I also would like to know, out of the two, I mean, I feel I don't want to have a problem where it's going to come up later on, and I don't want him to be angry at me if later on I have to tell him, no, there's a possibility that this isn't how it was supposed to be. This isn't really your dad. I mean, it's really-

20:37 Drew The child?

20:38 Caller Excuse me? Yes, later on.

20:40 Drew Why would you ever do that to him?

20:42 Caller I wouldn't want to, but what if it is?

20:44 Adam All right, listen.

20:45 Caller What if it is?

20:46 Adam Okay. First off, do both these guys look alike or the same nationality?

20:51 Caller The same nationality.

20:53 Adam They have any features? Nothing. The child, you can't tell by looking at the child. No. Okay, so what you have to do is put the child in between the two guys and both have to call for the child whichever way the child crawls. I've seen this in Westerns. They do it with a horse. It will work with a kid. All right. Julie, here's the situation. You're in very thin ice in your life. You cannot chance any trouble for you or this child right now. You must resist this.

21:24 Drew This is a need for drama.

21:26 Adam It absolutely is.

21:28 Drew The impulse is to deliver your child into the same world that you came from, as opposed to trying to keep it stable and together. I understand that you're having to sacrifice some amount of attraction and passion in your relationship.

21:42 Caller It's really hard because I would like to be on my own and I have no-

21:45 Drew But you have a child now, your mom, you have a dad, you have a full family here.

21:49 Caller I don't like this family.

21:50 Caller I don't want-

21:52 Adam What's wrong with this guy?

21:54 Caller I would like to take care of the kid on my own.

21:55 Caller Right.

21:56 Adam How are you going to do that?

21:57 Caller That's the problem. I want to know for sure. So I don't- If it would happen to be his baby, I wouldn't-

22:04 Drew Don't be up too much, but you're making a lot of decisions about you when you need to be making a lot of decisions on behalf of the child.

22:09 Adam And me.

22:10 Drew Yeah.

22:11 Adam Right.

22:11 Caller It's going to affect him if he's in a negative environment.

22:17 Drew Not nearly as much as you've taken him out into the street or creating all the chaos. You're assumed to be intent on creating.

22:22 Adam Julie.

22:22 Caller That's not my intent to do that though.

22:24 Adam It isn't, but it is.

22:26 Drew It's what's going to happen.

22:29 Adam Listen, what's wrong with the guy you're with right now?

22:32 Drew Is there some reason you can convince us that the situation you're in is worse than what would happen were you to leave?

22:39 Caller I don't see him being supportive if it happened to be a situation where it-

22:44 Caller What is he beating you?

22:45 Drew Is he creating an unstable environment? Is he an awful person?

22:48 Caller He's not, but at the same time, I see him more as more not very sexual.

22:56 Adam Hold on. Let me talk to Drew for a second.

23:00 Caller Okay.

23:00 Adam This guy is a nice guy and he's saving her.

23:03 Caller Yes.

23:03 Adam She comes from total chaos. Yes. She can't handle this nice guy. Right. She has no attraction to him emotionally or sexually at all to Mr. Nice Guy who's saving.

23:14 Drew Mr. Abandoning A-hole.

23:15 Adam Mr. Abandoning A-hole who may be the father of a child, but probably isn't, is the guy she wants to go with because she comes from total chaos and she's going to relive that.

23:26 Drew This guy ditched out to college like, whoo, got away from that one.

23:29 Adam Julie, listen to me. You need to get some counseling. You need to get some therapy. You need to calm down. You have instincts. They're all bad. You need to take care of this child. You come from chaos. You're going to make more chaos.

23:42 Drew You shouldn't make any decisions on your own right now.

23:44 Adam Don't do it right now.

23:45 Drew Get a therapist who you can talk to and really, you're heading in the wrong direction. We promise.

23:51 Caller I feel really trapped.

23:53 Adam I know. But you have Mr. Nice Guy there and I know that's a big turn off for you, but you're going to have to live with it for a little while.

24:00 Caller I just, I don't see what there is I can do in the future even looking at you.

24:05 Adam Okay. Well, listen, Julie, why should I have the kid then?

24:09 Drew Why did you call us?

24:11 Caller I can't.

24:12 Adam Okay. Here's what I want you to promise me then. No more kids, please. No more kids.

24:18 Drew You can't do right by this one. Then please God, no more.

24:22 Caller Okay.

24:23 Drew Okay.

24:23 Adam All right. You do what you want to do. We're telling you how it's going to end up.

24:29 Caller All right.

24:30 Adam All right.

24:31 Drew Good luck.

24:33 Caller That was really tough.

24:34 Adam It is. I mean, I don't know what else to do.

24:36 Drew It's so easy for us to sit up here and call it, but boy, it's painful for her, I'm sure.

24:40 Caller But that's it. That's it.

24:42 Drew That's reality.

24:42 Adam All right. We'll take a little break.

24:44 Drew If you go to college at 18, she'll be still like 40. 38 or something like that. She can go have a life time. What the hell is that?

24:52 Adam Hey, baby, in a scant 17 and a half years, you'll be living large.

24:56 Drew In those parenting years, you're parenting. Everybody dedicates those years to that.

25:02 Adam Remember the top of the show we're talking about? Bad parents and bad people in a bad society. That's what it's come down to. All right. When we come back, when I speak to Patrick, the 2017 girlfriend started crying during sex. That is a bummer. After this.

25:20 Caller This is Loveline, the man in the carola.

25:23 Adam That's the number one UCLA growing fans in my life. I'll give you a run for chasing radio. Dr. Drew, everybody. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. I did have a good time with that Drew's kids yesterday. Oh, wow. Played a little basketball with them. They're wonderful, wonderful. They're great kids. They really are great kids. Drew keeps a pretty short leash on.

25:47 Drew It's Susan, too. Give her some credit.

25:49 Adam Which one's Susan? About your wife? Yeah. Drew does a good job with these kids. Drew told them to thank me like 114 times. They're like, say thank you, because Christ, I did. I was like, you told me that. Say thank you. It really means a lot, by the way. Parents, when you're standing next to a kid going, say thank you, because like I did, say it again, thanks, no problem. It's like, you realize, say thank you in front of the person they're thanking, it kind of takes away from it. Say thank you. Then they're getting in the car, they're like, bye, bye, bye.

26:25 Drew Say thank you.

26:26 Thanks.

26:27 Adam I want a kid next to me, and they're like, say you're welcome. You're welcome.

26:33 Drew Thanks.

26:35 Adam Played them in basketball, they beat me. I had a great time.

26:39 Drew Pinball.

26:40 Adam Pinball. They loved your house by the way.

26:42 Drew Oh man, they loved that house.

26:44 Adam Got the party house. The reason I built the party house is for seven-year-olds to run around. Patrick? Yeah. You're 17. Yeah. Your girlfriend started crying during sex.

26:57 Drew This is the first time you're with her or is this something?

27:00 Caller No. We've been together for about five months now.

27:04 Adam Well, let me give you three options with this. This is, I love you so much, I can't contain myself. Your dork is splitting me in half.

27:14 Drew That's part of number one. Impossible.

27:17 Adam Uncle Lou Rape mate.

27:18 Drew Number two. Uncle Lou Rape mate. Number three.

27:20 Adam I gave you three.

27:21 Drew No. Number three is.

27:22 Adam No, you do number four.

27:23 Drew I gave you three. You're splitting me and I love you so much is the same one. It never happens.

27:29 Caller All right.

27:30 Drew Number two is.

27:32 Caller What?

27:32 Adam I gave you one and two and three.

27:35 Drew Four.

27:35 Adam Give me four.

27:36 Drew Four is my feelings of change that I can't contain.

27:39 Caller It's.

27:40 Drew No.

27:40 Adam I mean, I'm not in love. No way.

27:43 Caller No way. I had that once. Really?

27:45 Adam Oh, yeah. That was with a prostitute. It's difficult for Drew. He's a very passionate man. Oh, my God. That's got to be rough. It's like you're you're humping away and they're crying. It's like, Am I hurting you, David? No.

27:58 Caller Are you thinking about your own? No.

28:01 Adam You love me so much. No.

28:04 Caller Which one?

28:06 Adam What do you think is closest, Patrick?

28:09 Caller Oh, I don't know, because I know she enjoys it. I know she does, because I mean, she.

28:16 Adam She fakes that orgasm every time?

28:19 Caller No, I don't think she fakes it.

28:20 Adam I see.

28:23 Caller I think she's going to tell me it was bad, then fake it.

28:25 Adam How old is she?

28:27 Caller She's 18.

28:29 Adam How's her family?

28:31 Caller That's the thing I'm wondering about. Because, I mean, I want to go into too much detail because she might be listening. I use my real name, which is pretty stupid.

28:43 Drew James?

28:44 Caller I use my real name, which is kind of dumb.

28:46 Drew I think that you're repeating it all the time.

28:49 Adam All right, Patrick.

28:50 Caller But she wasn't born in this country. She moved here about 10 years ago.

28:54 Drew From where? From an Asian country. Okay.

28:59 Caller Philippines, I guess.

29:00 Drew There is probably a fifth version of this too, which is, I'm so guilty. I'm super religious and I shouldn't be doing this and I feel so good.

29:08 Caller Well, she moved here, but she moved with her mom and her dad didn't move with her. Her dad didn't move here until probably four or five years ago.

29:15 Adam Yeah.

29:16 Drew How old is she?

29:18 Adam What kind of guys are they?

29:19 Caller He's a real strict, totalitarian type guy. He keeps a real tight leash on her.

29:28 Adam Do you think he ever abused her?

29:31 Caller I don't think so, but she had a promiscuous past.

29:39 Adam We're heading towards maybe a little sexual abuse or that kind of thing, those kinds of feelings. I have a question.

30:02 Caller I have a question. I have a question. What was your first question? I have a question. What was your first question?

30:08 Adam I have a question.

30:08 Drew Okay, well, that's a little bit...

30:11 Caller I don't want to lose you and everybody I love or what, I don't know.

30:14 Drew Yeah.

30:14 Adam To me, the crying doesn't mean stop, it means hurry up. But, Patrick, I'm not so sure you need or want to know the answer, 17. It could be a million things.

30:27 Caller But if she's bad news, I mean, do I want to know?

30:30 Adam Listen, she's not bad news. Don't get her pregnant. You're probably not going to get married. Practice being a good, loving boyfriend.

30:39 Caller But one other thing I wanted to ask, she really, really enjoys sex a lot. I guess she's too...

30:48 Adam Yeah, we can tell by her crying.

30:50 Drew Isn't that pathetic that that has to be the issue with a guy? Well, she's too into it.

30:54 Adam Well, let's hear her now.

30:55 Caller I mean, doesn't a guy usually want it more than the girl?

30:57 Caller She wants it more than I do.

30:59 Adam Maybe you're gay.

31:00 Drew How much do you want? How much does she want it? Hold on. Well, she may be sexual compulsive from having been sexually abused. It could be part of that whole syndrome.

31:11 Adam There's issues with this young lady. There's no doubt about it. I wish somebody would have pulled me aside. I'm 17. I was masturbating. But I wish someone would have pulled me aside at different points in different relationships in my life and said, look, you're 19, you're 17, you're 15, you're whatever. Relax. You're not going to marry. I'm doing it. Don't tell me.

31:34 Drew You can't really get them out of themselves.

31:36 Adam I understand. He's not a psychologist. He's not going to get to the bottom of this and he surely doesn't want to get to the bottom of this. Just relax, have your sex, don't get pregnant and be a good ear for her and a shoulder for her to cry on. There's nothing you're going to do to fix this. What's he going to do?

31:53 Drew Be a loving, stable person.

31:56 Adam There you go. Shannon?

31:58 Caller Hi.

31:58 Adam You're 16. What's up?

32:00 Caller Okay. I'm only one half a kid and I don't know when's the best time to have sex.

32:06 Drew You're 16?

32:07 Caller Yeah.

32:07 Drew We forbid you.

32:10 Caller Why?

32:12 Drew Because you're 16.

32:13 Adam You're a mess. Why? Why? What's going on with you?

32:16 Drew I'm not going to tell you the best time to get pregnant. I refuse. What do you mean?

32:20 Adam Well, the best time to have sex is on your period if you want to get pregnant. Sure.

32:25 Drew That's the time.

32:26 Adam That's the time. And make sure he does this pullout move I perfected back in the mid-80s.

32:32 Drew No.

32:33 Adam That's my move. I'm passionate too. See it? Yeah. Picture me pulling out?

32:40 Caller No.

32:42 Adam It's worse than me pulling out. I'll tell you that right now. Me pulling in pales in comparison.

32:47 Caller Just a couple minutes.

32:51 Caller I'll be off in a couple minutes.

32:52 Adam You got a minute.

32:53 Caller Okay. I'll be off in a minute. I'm talking to Mick. Okay.

33:00 Caller Yeah.

33:00 Adam Shanna?

33:01 Caller Yeah.

33:01 Adam Is that the loving grandparents?

33:03 Caller Father.

33:03 Adam Oh, yeah. He's going to be wonderful.

33:05 How old is father?

33:08 Adam He's going to be a wonderful grandfather to your new child. Who's Mick?

33:13 Dad.

33:16 Adam No. She said she's talking to Mick.

33:19 Caller No, he's not.

33:21 Adam Okay. Hey, Shannon?

33:23 Caller Yeah?

33:23 Adam I know we only have a minute, so let's just use it wisely.

33:27 Caller Oh, he won't be back for about an hour.

33:29 Adam Okay. I know you've been through a lot in your life. The kid ain't the answer. He really isn't.

33:36 Drew Hey, get a puppy.

33:37 Caller Well, I've been learning a kid's the size about 12.

33:40 Adam Yeah. I wanted to be an astronaut too.

33:43 Drew Don't do that.

33:44 Adam That's what's going to happen for a while.

33:45 Drew Don't do that, Shannon.

33:47 Adam Forget about you.

33:48 Drew It's about you.

33:49 Adam It's only about society. Right.

33:50 Drew But not only that, a child is not about you. It's about the child. If you were having a child because it's what you need, that is the wrong time to have a child.

34:00 Caller I just think it'd be a good experience.

34:03 Drew Well, then if you're going to sacrifice someone else's well-being for an experience, a good experience, at least do it in a time when it's least damaging to the child.

34:12 Adam You want a good experience, go to Epcot Center for a weekend or something. Don't have a kid. That is the world's worst excuse for a kid.

34:21 Caller Well, I mean, I could support it.

34:23 Drew Now, Janet, you're talking about another human being's life that you want to have control over just because it would be a good experience.

34:31 Caller Well, not just that.

34:33 Drew And because you've been wanting one.

34:34 Caller It's kind of like a person that will love you unconditionally.

34:39 Drew Right. That is the wrong reason to have a child. That's why kids do that.

34:42 Adam Well, Drew hates his parents, and I hate my parents. And we weren't even raised in a too bad an environment. Drew would like to kick the ass out of his old dad's ass. Right now, it tells me every day before the show. I like to kick that geezer's ass. From here to the poor house, he yells. I swear to God. No way. That kid's going to hate you. He's going to wonder what happened to dad, and why he had that abusive grandpa running around, and why you couldn't support, and why doesn't he have all the other things the other kid had.

35:11 Drew Unconditional love is not what a child provides you. It's what you provide a child. Children are very stressful, and very rageful, and very difficult. When they doesn't comply with your needs for idealized love, it's going to be damaging to that child.

35:23 Caller Well, I've already raised two kids.

35:25 Adam Right. Yourself and your little brother.

35:28 Caller No.

35:28 Caller Two of my cousins. Okay.

35:31 Drew Listen, wasn't that unconditional love?

35:33 Caller They loved my cousins. I loved them and they loved me.

35:37 Adam Why did you raise your two cousins?

35:38 Caller Because their mom's a drug addict.

35:40 Drew Okay.

35:41 Adam Listen, you hillbillies.

35:43 Caller Hello.

35:44 Adam I'm going to drop the Roach Motel off over there and collect all you. And then drag it off into the ocean. Stop it. You hear me?

35:51 Caller Yeah.

35:52 Adam You get yourself an education. You go somewhere far away. You stop that crappy life you're leading with all your hillbilly relatives.

35:59 Caller Okay.

36:00 Adam You hear me?

36:00 Caller Yeah.

36:01 Adam Why do you want to do that?

36:02 Caller I don't know.

36:03 Adam Do you realize when you have a kid that is the first nail in the coffin of a fulfilling life when you do it at your age, you cannot go to college, you can't have the career you want. Good luck meeting a guy when you have a two-month-old hanging on your hip.

36:20 Caller Just a minute. All right.

36:22 Drew We're done.

36:22 Adam Shannon, don't get pregnant.

36:25 Drew This isn't a solution, okay?

36:26 Caller Okay.

36:26 Drew This is a good friend of mine.

36:27 Adam Work hard, go to college and go somewhere far away, all right? All right. What's going on, boy? Listen, you knuckleheads. You should take a look at what's going on in your family. If it's a good thing, then you should try to emulate it. But if it's a bad thing, don't emulate it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Look at it like you're opening a restaurant. No. What I'm saying is, you go into a crappy restaurant where they serve crappy food and have crappy service.

36:59 Drew Don't do that.

37:00 Adam You want to open your own restaurant, which would be the equivalent of starting a family?

37:05 Drew Yeah.

37:05 Adam Don't model it after what you've seen, what you've been in. That compulsion to repeat. That chaotic mess. Don't do it.

37:14 Drew The compulsion to repeat trauma that was unreal. Someone's got to explain that biology someday.

37:20 Adam I believe it's got something to do with IQ.

37:22 Drew No, no. That's what's so bizarre about it. It doesn't.

37:27 Adam Yeah, but look at it this way. There's always an example of somebody who came from a messy, chaotic thing and got out of it and went 180 degrees off and completely led a different life. Those people have a certain something. I believe that's something with IQ.

37:45 Drew It seems like resiliency more than IQ because some of them don't go off to great scholastic experience.

37:52 Adam Yeah, but it's a kind of a life IQ, I believe.

37:55 Drew We'll talk more about that.

37:56 Caller All right.

37:56 Drew Yeah, I agree. Emotional IQ.

37:58 Caller Thank you.

37:58 Adam All right. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Katie. Katie's 19. She picked the scab off her vagina. Nice. It bled. It hurts.

38:08 Caller Oh, man.

38:09 Adam Let's go.

38:09 Caller Hold on a second.

38:10 Adam Katie?

38:11 Caller Yeah?

38:13 Adam Can you leave your vagina alone for a couple of minutes? We're going to take a break, all right? Okay. We'll get back with you.

38:18 Caller Okay.

38:18 Drew All right.

38:19 Adam Ty, what would you do? Ty, turn it around your waist if your vagina was bleeding?

38:24 Caller No, it wasn't bleeding like that.

38:26 Adam I see.

38:26 Drew All right.

38:28 Adam All right. We will take a break.

38:29 Caller We'll be back.

38:39 Caller It is, it is the music.

38:42 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. He is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-N-1.

38:50 Caller Forget about that, Frank.

38:51 Adam Let's get back to phones, because we got a girl who's picking at herself over here. Nice. Katie?

38:58 Caller Hi. It wasn't like, I didn't know if it was a real scab, but it was like a hard bump that was down there.

39:05 Caller So I pulled it and it came off and then it looked like a scab.

39:08 Adam That was your plethora?

39:10 Caller No, it wasn't. It was like on the end, before the paint.

39:16 Drew Okay.

39:18 Caller It was where I thought there had been a tear earlier.

39:21 Caller Something like a scab had formed and I took that off, and then there was a little bit of blood. It wasn't like blood.

39:25 Drew Got it.

39:25 Adam Maybe there was a little tear.

39:27 Caller Yeah, that's what I thought.

39:29 Drew Or some chafing or herpes sometimes will cause some irritation down there.

39:33 Caller Really?

39:34 Drew It said usually it's not just in one spot.

39:37 Adam It's a recurrence.

39:38 Caller Well, it was only that spot. Ever since then, nothing hard had come back.

39:42 Caller It looked like a scab when I looked at it after I took it off.

39:45 Caller And then ever since then, sex has been burning.

39:49 Caller How long?

39:50 Drew How long has that been going on for?

39:51 Caller It's been ever since that I pulled that off.

39:53 Drew Well, ever since that.

39:55 Adam Oh, I see. So, let's see. That was Saturday. Well, a week ago, Saturday. So, it's been eight days.

40:02 Caller About.

40:05 Caller It's been a lot.

40:06 Caller Like no scab came back or anything.

40:08 Caller And no kudos for that.

40:08 Caller But it feels like it's been like this.

40:10 Adam Katie?

40:11 Caller Yeah.

40:11 Adam Earth to Katie?

40:12 Caller Yeah.

40:13 Adam What day, how many days ago did that scab come off?

40:16 Caller I don't know. How long ago was that?

40:19 Adam You're talking to your fraternity? No, I'm talking to my husband. I see.

40:23 Caller How long ago was that?

40:25 Caller That I pulled that thing off?

40:28 Caller He says two or three weeks ago, but I don't think it was that long ago.

40:31 Drew Does he have anything going on?

40:33 Caller No, he doesn't have anything on him.

40:34 Caller All right.

40:35 Drew So probably just to tell you, have you guys been very active or something before?

40:38 Caller Yeah, we just got married.

40:40 Drew Sure.

40:42 Adam Does he have a big unit?

40:44 Caller I think so. He doesn't think so.

40:46 Adam Good. I'm like a humble man.

40:50 Caller I had to convince him.

40:52 Adam Yeah, a big penis?

40:53 Caller Yeah.

40:53 Adam That's nice. Why don't you come by my slice and convince me when you're done with him.

40:57 Caller No, Adam, I love you to death, but I can't.

40:59 Caller I'm married.

41:00 Adam I listen and we don't have to upset.

41:02 Drew You don't have to touch him. Just make him feel good.

41:04 Adam Give me a shirt of the verbal validation that I've been missing. All right?

41:10 Caller When I meet you, I will because I do plan on meeting you. I'll just tell you over and over again that you have a big.

41:16 Drew We're just going to finish school together. I missed that part.

41:18 Caller Yeah, I'm not impressed.

41:20 Adam Oh, you're not?

41:21 Drew Shock.

41:22 Adam Shocking. All right, Katie. Okay. Is she all right?

41:25 Drew Yeah, Katie, it sounds fine.

41:25 Adam It's hot baths.

41:26 Drew Give it a little time. This can take a few weeks to heal.

41:28 Adam Women can tear down there.

41:29 Drew You know, you keep having sex. I'm just going to keep irritating that. Use a lot of lubricant. Maybe just kind of give it a little rest for a week or so.

41:36 Caller Sorry.

41:37 Adam You can tear a woman's vagina with your penis?

41:39 Drew It's not tearing. It's not the way you can. But it's not tearing. It's just raw. It's like it's like the corner of the mouth and you get chafing stuff in there.

41:47 Adam You got to pull out of those guys?

41:49 Okay.

41:51 Adam Yeah. Is he 23? Yes, I am. What's that? I was just calling her, her name, the girl from over a year now. We just love her having sex or banging or whatever you want to call it.

42:08 I called my friend, I used to, because there is something, I mean, somebody told me it could be premature ejaculation.

42:18 Adam It could very well be. You have to see your scene.

42:22 Drew Does she have a problem with this?

42:24 Caller Yeah, because I finish in like 40 seconds and like she has to wait, like maybe a third or fourth time before she gets her pleasure done with.

42:35 Drew Third or fourth time.

42:37 Adam You're having three or four orgasms?

42:40 Caller Yeah, but not consecutively in the span of like maybe two or three hours. Oh my Christ.

42:48 Adam Yeah, how about you give her a little oral sex, balancing out?

42:52 Caller I do that, but she prefers.

42:55 Adam No, she does. Can she have an orgasm through the oral sex?

42:59 Caller Yeah.

42:59 Adam She can. Well, maybe you should give her one of those orally, put a check in her orgasm column, and then you have yours. You know, then you do your three or four things, and then you finish her off.

43:14 Caller Is there a way of? Somebody told me that there's some, there's something like.

43:21 Drew Oh my God.

43:22 Caller She's so, I don't know. I mean, I.

43:23 Adam She's got the seawork flying all over the place.

43:26 Drew And he's got the very light friends. No. No, don't do that.

43:33 Adam Well, wait a minute. What about the lubricant? That's an interesting point. I mean, we never really talk about it, but if you think about it, friction is kind of the name of the game. No, no, no. Calm down.

43:43 Drew I just said, but a 40 second guy might be a little bit different.

43:46 Adam What I mean is, if I'm using my hand to help myself, and all of a sudden I loosen the grip, it's going to take a little while.

43:53 Drew It might. But at 40 seconds, you might add 10 seconds. You know what I'm saying?

43:58 Adam Yeah, but that's 20 percent.

44:00 Drew What the hell is it? But you can take the serotonin. We have taken heavy drugs. Prozac will help premature ejaculation some time.

44:09 Adam Start with the lube and move on to the drugs.

44:11 Drew How often do they have in their sessions?

44:13 Caller Tony? Yeah.

44:15 Adam How often do you have in sex?

44:16 Caller I mean, it can be anywhere from once a day to three or four times a day.

44:21 Adam Holy Christ.

44:22 Caller You're going to wear a hole in her.

44:26 Adam How about you take care of yourself before you're with her?

44:31 Caller I've tried that. I've tried that before, like cold shower before.

44:34 Drew No, no, no. It doesn't make cold shower.

44:36 Adam I don't mean running in place and hitting yourself in the abdomen. I mean whacking off. You retire.

44:41 Caller Yeah, I know that. That's what I mean by cold shower.

44:45 Adam Oh, there it is? All right.

44:47 The code?

44:47 Adam New code.

44:48 I don't know if you're going to get it.

44:49 Adam What happened? Doesn't work? Doesn't work? No, it doesn't work.

44:54 Caller Like you said, it takes up maybe 20%.

44:57 Adam All right. Well, start with the lube and then you can get into those serotonin reuptake and it works on them. Sometimes I'll have to wear a condom, put a poster of the now deceased Hey Vern guy at the head of the bed, something to stare at, slow you down just a little bit. I mean it. What about getting a picture of your grandmother or something?

45:18 Drew You mean this?

45:19 Adam I mean that. Wouldn't that add a minute or two?

45:22 Drew Yeah.

45:23 Adam A handful of lube? I'm going for the lube and the picture of Gandhi. The one where he's in the diaper, picture of Gandhi, poster of Gandhi, handful of lube, see if you can add a couple of minutes and if that doesn't work, then you can get into the Prozac. All right. When we come back, we're going to speak to Sharon. Sharon is 17. Her boyfriend came in his hand. What the hell are we doing with our lives here, Drew? Fingered her and then her period's late now. Could be another one of those.

46:01 Drew We got somewhere to ask these questions.

46:03 Adam We'll be back. Well, finally, something I can dance to. Now, there's a rip. That's a good band there.

46:31 Drew You know, I just think of the guy that danced out in front of the Boston. He did look like dancing.

46:37 Adam Except for I'm a really bad dancer. Phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1, I'm Adam Carolla, this is Dr. Drew. Tommy Mannix, if it's not too beaten up, the quarterback from the LA Extreme, the new XFL League should be in here tomorrow. And I'm enjoying the XFL. I don't care what some people say. It's fun. It's a spectacle. It's held a lot better than watching a golf or a pro bowler's tour. Ice dancing or whatever the hell we'd be watching at this point. And it's fine. Seems there's been some competitive games, some good hitting. I like some of the new innovations and I really have no problem with it. And some of the rules like not having the extra point be an automatic and by having essentially go for two all the time or not being allowed to kick the extra point and you know not being able to do the fair catch and just there's a handful of the rules in there that the NFL could learn from. I do enjoy it. Sharon?

47:41 Yeah.

47:41 Adam You're 17?

47:42 Caller Yeah.

47:43 Adam All right. So your boyfriend, what did he do?

47:48 Caller Okay.

47:50 Caller He put his hands inside his, yeah, his pants, right?

47:52 Caller He moved his uncomfortable penis, right? Because we were messing around.

47:55 Adam Sure.

47:56 Caller And we were getting-

47:58 Drew Move his uncomfortable penis?

48:01 Caller Okay. Fascinating.

48:03 Caller Because he was getting hard.

48:04 Adam Right?

48:05 Caller Like we kind of, you know, like a question of what, like liquid comes out before you know.

48:10 Drew The pre-cum, right?

48:11 Caller Yeah. Well, he got it on his hand and he didn't tell me anything. And he put his hand on me, like, yeah.

48:17 Drew Like, yeah?

48:18 Caller Yeah.

48:19 Adam Put his hand in you?

48:20 Caller Yeah.

48:20 Drew How do you know he got that on his hand?

48:22 Caller Because he said, he's like, oh my God, you know, I did this and I did that. But he told me after.

48:27 Drew Sure.

48:27 Caller And I, I didn't go like-

48:29 Drew Well, it'd be a good time to take the morning after pill just to take away any potential risk there, huh?

48:35 Caller But it's possible.

48:36 Caller I mean, it's possible.

48:37 Drew But again, we have this pill now that really all you guys should have in your medicine cabinet. It's the birth control pill. Stimul pill is just you take a double dose within three days of an unprotected sexual encounter and it prevents pregnancy just the way your birth control pill, same mechanism as your birth control pill.

48:54 Adam But this, well, she doesn't have a birth control pill, but this has been more than three days, right?

48:58 Caller Oh, it's been like three weeks.

49:00 Adam I see. And you've missed your period?

49:02 Caller Yeah, for like two weeks and I've never missed a period. I've had it for years and I've never missed it.

49:09 Caller And it's not ever been more than like three days late.

49:11 Adam I see. Well, it's definitely possible. It's not probable, but if a man dipped his hand in semen and then put it up, yeah, I can see it.

49:22 Caller How?

49:23 Drew It's possible.

49:24 Caller I don't know. Okay.

49:27 Adam All right.

49:27 Drew So you've got to get a break because it's time.

49:30 Caller Okay. Thank you.

49:31 Adam All right. Don't fret too much because it probably isn't from this. You never had intercourse with the guy?

49:35 Caller No.

49:37 Adam Really?

49:37 Caller Really.

49:38 Caller We like getting close to it, but I can't get myself to do it.

49:43 Adam You can't?

49:43 Caller No, we can't.

49:44 Caller It's not that I'm afraid.

49:45 Caller It's just that I don't know.

49:47 Drew All right. Don't worry about getting yourself to do it when you're ready. Just relax. All right. We won't have to do with what we think we're going to do.

49:53 Caller Rich is supposedly ready because he wants me to have his child already.

49:57 Drew Oh, my God. No, Sharon.

49:59 Caller Oh, my God.

50:00 Adam No. Really?

50:02 Caller Yeah.

50:03 Adam He really wants you to have his child?

50:05 Caller Yeah.

50:06 Adam How old is he?

50:07 Caller He's going to be 18.

50:10 Adam Why does he want a child?

50:13 Caller I don't know. He's really into the relationship. He tells his parents he wants to marry me and he wants all of this. It kind of scares me because I don't think he knows exactly what he wants.

50:24 Drew Well, it sounds like you know you don't want what he wants, so that's good enough, all right?

50:28 Adam Hey, Sharon, listen to me. You're the gatekeeper. You understand? You have to be in charge of the birth control because this idiot wants a kid. He's not going to be very responsible. You need to get on the pill before you have sex. What's my thought?

50:49 Caller I want to get on the pill but I don't want him to do the pap smear.

50:52 Drew Well, you listen, why not?

50:54 Caller I don't know. I'm feeling comfortable.

50:56 Drew Well, it's something you got to get used to because young women die of cervical cancer.

51:00 Caller Yeah.

51:00 Drew So you got to go check that out, okay? Okay.

51:04 Caller Thank you.

51:05 Adam All right. Where do you want to go? We want a woman to do it.

51:07 Drew What?

51:08 Adam Can you get a woman to do it? Is that going to be any better?

51:10 Caller No.

51:11 Drew Do you know a pathologist?

51:12 Caller I don't know.

51:13 Caller It's weird because I'm not like-

51:16 Drew It's part of your health care. Men get their orifices checked. It's weird. They don't like it.

51:21 Adam No, we don't. They do? When do we do that?

51:23 Drew I was talking to somebody the other day about how men don't go to doctors, and how we have to either get dragged in, or if we have a problem, we wait till it goes away.

51:29 Adam Right.

51:30 Drew You know what? Women start going at 18 and they go regularly. They get used to going to the doctor.

51:34 Adam That's why they live 10 years longer.

51:36 Drew We don't start going until we're 60 when our prostate starts falling on our rear, and then we're going.

51:40 Adam Well, listen, we treat our bodies like women treat cars.

51:46 Drew Yeah.

51:47 Adam Now, what I mean is, a woman brings a car into the mechanic when something breaks down, right?

51:53 Drew Yeah.

51:53 Adam Guy brings his body into the doctor when something breaks down. But a guy with his car will bring the car in for maintenance all the time, or he will have the differential fluid change and the training fluid change and all that before there is any trouble. We understand that concept as it pertains to automobiles, just not our ass.

52:11 Drew It all seems to me that it's similar to how we deal with erections. I mean, we'll figure out, we'll find a way there. Yeah.

52:16 Adam Let's hit the road.

52:17 Drew We'll get there.

52:18 Adam Get up to speed and then we'll figure it out while we're doing 70. Anna?

52:24 Caller Yeah.

52:24 Adam You're 17. What's up?

52:27 Caller Well, I work at a restaurant and my boss and I, my 23-year-old boss and I, we ended up sleeping together. And we really haven't talked about it since.

52:40 Adam He's the manager of the restaurant?

52:41 Caller Yeah.

52:42 Adam Yeah. I've given this speech many times. I do not trust men who work in the restaurant industry.

52:50 Drew Yeah.

52:50 Adam They're, they're all, they're all, they're all stir-chasers.

52:53 Drew Aren't there two versions? There's a super nice guy with the kids who's like, ultra-responsible around the time and there's also this guy.

52:59 Adam Now, young guys who manage restaurants nail waitresses. That's why they get into it. Period. That's the perks. That free croutons. How about older guy?

53:08 Caller The funny thing is, we hung out before and he was like, well, there will be no dating between employees. Oh, well, that's a no-no. And then eventually we hung out again and well, something happened.

53:19 Adam I see. Now, you like him, right?

53:20 Caller Yeah, I like him a lot more. Nothing has really been said since another girl found out. And she went to me and I admitted to it and she went to him and he denied it. And then he told me that she knew, you know.

53:32 Adam Why did she go to him?

53:33 Caller I don't know.

53:34 Drew Do you like him?

53:34 Caller He's kind of a big mouth kind of person. And yeah, I think she likes him too.

53:37 Drew And what happened exactly?

53:41 Caller Like, what do you mean, with him and I?

53:43 Adam And it sucks. You guys didn't do it on the salad bar, do you?

53:47 Caller Well, what happened is me, him and another friend were hanging out. And actually, this wasn't at work. This was outside of work at my house. And my friend got really drunk and was kind of telling my secrets. And I had said before that I thought he was cute. And as soon as she told that secret, he had his hands on me. And I obviously didn't want to stop it because I liked him.

54:10 Adam Right, right.

54:11 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

54:12 Adam But maybe he has a girlfriend.

54:14 Caller Well, that's the thing is he didn't have a girlfriend at the time. And then he got back together with this girl. And he wants to propose to Repubble Blood. And I just feel like I should tell her. I don't.

54:28 Drew Now she's got to tell.

54:29 Adam Yeah. It's important that everyone know the truth now.

54:33 Caller Well, I'm thinking that I should make sure he knows that I like him before he goes and gets engaged to this girl.

54:38 Drew And, you know, he knows your secret.

54:41 Adam He knows you like him.

54:42 Caller He does know.

54:43 Drew That was your secret, right?

54:44 Adam Well, you hurt your friend.

54:46 Caller He knows that I like him, but he doesn't.

54:48 Drew Because I liked him more after, you know, which is normal, which is what happens to women. They get a certain hormone that's released because of the bonding to the person.

54:56 Caller Doesn't that suck? Yeah.

54:57 Drew Yes, it does.

54:58 Adam Right. It's from the retardo going in.

55:01 Caller But I just, I mean, I don't want to, things aren't awkward between us at all at work and that's really nice. And I want to like talk to him about it and like say that, yeah, I'm a woman and obviously my hormones.

55:12 Adam All right.

55:13 Drew I think he owes you that.

55:14 Caller I do.

55:15 Adam He does.

55:15 Drew I think he owes a little discussion.

55:17 Caller I'm just worried about making things awkward.

55:19 Caller Do you? I don't know.

55:20 Drew It will be awkward. But I think you sound like someone can assert yourself. And I think he owes you a face to face discussion.

55:27 Adam Right.

55:27 Drew But don't get into, Gee, I think the girl you're going to marry needs to know this because that's about you getting revenge.

55:34 Caller No, I don't want her to know.

55:36 Adam You talk to him.

55:37 Caller I want him to know.

55:38 Adam Okay.

55:39 Drew I think that's a good idea.

55:40 Adam Don't get your hopes up.

55:41 Caller Well, okay.

55:42 Drew I think he owes you that discussion, an honest face to face.

55:45 Adam Listen, ladies, you liking us does not make us like you more, unfortunately. Sometimes it makes us like you less.

55:53 Drew It usually makes guy become important.

55:54 Adam If there's a guy who hears that someone likes him and then has sex with that person, oh, he knows. If he's into that person, he will continue with that person. If he's not, it's not because the other person didn't remind him again that they were interested. Guys go after women who aren't interested in them all the time. They don't need to be interested. And if you're the least bit interested and the guy's interested, that's enough. But certainly, if you have sex with the guy and he's into you, he'll keep coming. He will not get, listen, he broke up, this guy's in a hole. He broke up with his girlfriend, probably never did. They probably got in a big blowout and they took a couple of weeks off or a couple of days off. He slept with her, then they got back together, and he's trying to lay low. Yep. All right. But at least he gave a speech about dating employees. I'm telling you guys who manage restaurants are all the same scum, the same as those chefs. Don't trust them as far as I can throw those guys. Kim?

56:56 Caller Yeah.

56:56 Adam You're 12.

56:59 Caller Okay. I haven't seen my dad in like two months. So come. He came over with his new girlfriend once and-

57:07 Drew How long have your parents been split up?

57:11 Caller Like five, seven years.

57:13 Drew Has he been in your life the whole time?

57:15 Caller What?

57:15 Drew And had he been in your life the whole time until the last two months?

57:20 Caller Actually, he used to be like a really bad alcoholic and he quit for about like two years and then he got back on and he went on and off and on and off. And then he was off for a while and he met his girlfriend.

57:39 Drew And he started drinking again.

57:42 Caller And he came over with his girlfriend and they were drunk and stuff and my sister, she's 15, she was getting really, really frustrated with them because they were drunk and they came over.

57:57 Drew And she got him back on alcohol with her girlfriend. Don't blame her. He's an alcoholic. He's not a treatment.

58:05 Adam She's got a couple of kids somewhere that are saying he got her back on alcohol.

58:10 Caller Actually, he has a five-year-old son.

58:13 Adam Right.

58:13 Drew This is the point. Their kid's perspective is that it's his fault that they're drinking. You see?

58:18 Caller Yeah.

58:19 Drew They're both alcoholics. They found each other. They're supporting each other's disease. That's the way it goes. You got to go to smell them. You got to go. You really do because he doesn't know what he's doing. He doesn't know where he is and how much time has gone by. He's out with his disease. And it's not that he doesn't love you. It's not that he's wanting to leave you all. It's that he's out there drinking and that's all that matters to him right now. He doesn't know what else is going on.

58:42 Caller Yeah, like we got our phone number changed because it got disconnected.

58:48 Drew Tim, do you know what Allotine is?

58:49 Caller What?

58:49 Drew Do you know what Allotine is?

58:51 Caller No.

58:51 Drew You got to go. You must go. It's a program for young, particularly young teenagers to help them deal with people in their lives, usually their parents, with alcoholism.

59:01 Adam Hey, Kim.

59:02 Caller Yeah.

59:03 Adam I don't know about you, Chas, but how come you didn't ask her what it was when he was telling you you had to go?

59:07 Caller What? Okay.

59:09 Adam Hey, Kim?

59:10 Caller Yeah.

59:10 Adam Okay, listen, I swear to God, I'm a genius and I'm never wrong.

59:16 Drew So listen to them.

59:17 Adam Are you listening?

59:18 Caller Yes.

59:19 Adam You cannot obsess about your father and what he's doing in his behavior. He's drunk, he's with someone who's drinking, he's back and you cannot fix him.

59:30 Drew It's not your fault.

59:31 Adam It's not your fault and you cannot focus on fixing him. Do you understand that?

59:37 Drew Yes.

59:37 Adam You have to take care of yourself.

59:40 Drew It's just like to get cancer and the cancer is making him sick and he had to go to the hospital for months and months, you couldn't see him. Same kind of thing.

59:47 Adam I know it's a bad scene but you have to take care of yourself and you have to be careful that you don't get hooked up or attracted to guys that you don't have babies with or start relationships with bad alcoholic men like your dad. Okay? Because that's what you're going to want to do. And the only way to prevent you having a bad life like your mom by marrying, who had a bad life by marrying this guy, is if you go to something called Alateen and start trying to get some help for yourself.

1:00:23 Drew Okay? You got to do that. Just you can call alcohol synonymous. I don't have a number on hand, but just local alcohol synonymous and ask for Alateen referral.

1:00:34 Caller Okay.

1:00:35 Adam Can you do that?

1:00:35 Drew They'll be there by.

1:00:38 Caller Yeah, I can.

1:00:38 Adam All right. Will you do that?

1:00:40 Drew Take your sister away. It would be good for both of you to go.

1:00:42 Caller Okay.

1:00:42 Adam All right? All right. You can take your mom.

1:00:45 Drew Your mom can go to Alamog. You go to Alateen.

1:00:47 Caller Okay.

1:00:48 Adam I do that. And call us back.

1:00:50 Caller Okay. Thanks.

1:00:50 Adam But do that.

1:00:51 Caller Okay.

1:00:52 Adam All right. Oh, I really like to just take a shot under these guys. They don't realize what they do to their daughters. The men, the boys, they don't really care as much. They just don't. It's like they're going to go play some Peewee football. Screw that. But the daughters, man, they freak.

1:01:09 Caller They can't handle it.

1:01:11 Drew They got to go fix it when they're older.

1:01:13 Adam Oh, yes. Yes. It's like it's a death sentence.

1:01:17 Drew It's like the A-hole cycle of life, you know, the cycle of A-holes.

1:01:22 Adam Yeah.

1:01:23 Drew A-holes get on with their lives. They're not able to continue to be A-holes. They've got these crops out there supporting them.

1:01:29 Adam Right. I mean, like you should be thinking about your A-hole alcoholic dad at 12, for Christ's sake. Shane? Hi. Hey, you're 23. What's up?

1:01:39 Caller Well, about three weeks ago, I'm sorry, three months ago, I and my girlfriend, we were experimenting with anal sex. And we did it probably for about two, three weeks.

1:01:57 Adam I'm looking at you experimenting. Like what happened? The Bunsen burner fell over and the lab caught on fire. He ran in to get the monkeys out. It was a disaster. Has Matthew had to show up?

1:02:10 Caller All right.

1:02:11 Adam I'm sorry. Go ahead.

1:02:12 Caller That's cool. Yeah, we were kind of experimental couples and we slowly been progressing over the years and trying new things. So anyways, well, about three, four weeks after that, I believe I developed gonorrhea. I went to the doctor, got a test run. I didn't get the test results back, but I got put on antibiotics and everything.

1:02:36 Drew Were you using condoms during sex?

1:02:38 Caller No, not during that. It was sort of a spur of the moment.

1:02:44 Drew Did they do a gonorrhea culture?

1:02:46 Caller Yeah, they did the old stick test and got a little jolt out of that one.

1:02:51 Drew You don't know if there was elsewhere?

1:02:54 Caller I haven't checked back yet.

1:02:55 Drew Because they gave you a shot in some antibiotics and it got better so you didn't check out.

1:02:59 Caller Oral antibiotics.

1:03:01 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:03:02 Drew Well, just the bacteria in the rear end area can cause a urethral infection.

1:03:09 Adam Diarrhea equals gonorrhea?

1:03:11 Drew No.

1:03:11 Adam Oh, I don't know. Why? Doesn't it? Then maybe it wasn't gonorrhea?

1:03:16 Drew No, it might not have been.

1:03:18 Adam Did you tell the doctor that you were aging?

1:03:22 Caller Yeah, but the thing is, we've only been, it's just been the both of us that's been partners for just a couple of years.

1:03:27 Drew It's not like she would have gonorrhea harbored in her ass for long periods of time. No way. Yeah. Was she treated with antibiotics also?

1:03:35 Caller Yeah. That's the thing is she also developed a similar bladder feeling type infection.

1:03:41 Drew Were you having intercourse with her after having anal intercourse?

1:03:45 Caller No. That's the thing. We weren't.

1:03:49 Drew But she got a bladder infection that way.

1:03:50 Caller Yeah.

1:03:51 Drew It's true to me. Totally different.

1:03:53 Adam So that's just coincidence? I suspect.

1:03:57 Drew We never mess around in a dirty area. They both got bacteria.

1:04:01 Adam You call his girlfriend's area dirty.

1:04:04 Drew Like when you did a surgery in there, you call it a dirty area.

1:04:06 Caller But you do?

1:04:06 Drew There's lots of bacteria there.

1:04:09 Adam You say we're going to work on your dirty parts?

1:04:13 Caller I have one other question.

1:04:15 Adam Yes.

1:04:16 Caller My girlfriend's planning on going on with the Depth of Revera. I was researching online for her about that and she, I found out that in some cases, there's a irreversible pound per shot gained.

1:04:30 Drew Is that true or? I mean, there can be some weight gain that's difficult to lose.

1:04:35 Adam Yes. Why? How does it work?

1:04:38 Drew It's just all the pill can do that way too, but it just happens.

1:04:42 Adam All right. But listen, that's a rare instance, isn't it?

1:04:46 Drew That's unusual. The majority of people get heavy bleeding for three months and no bleeding after that, and irritability, moodiness, and mood stiffness, and decreased libido. Other than that, the pill is perfect.

1:04:57 Adam Yes. Think about how much weight you gain when you get pregnant. Shannon?

1:05:03 Caller Hello?

1:05:03 Adam You're 17?

1:05:04 Caller Yes. What's that? I made up my question. I'm sorry. All right. I know you don't care. I did ecstasy a couple of weeks ago. Yes. Actually, it was probably about a month ago. Right. I took two pills. It was my first time. Everybody said it would last about eight hours, and it really only lasted about two, and then wore off. But ever since then, I've been so much horny. I don't know what to be for. I want sex all the time. Interesting. I don't know.

1:05:37 Drew Have you been in the elsewhere? Have you been feeling having to sleep less or super? Yeah.

1:05:42 Caller My sleep patterns have been insane. I've been all over the place. My sleeping was always weird before that, so I don't think that's true.

1:05:50 Drew Are you feeling like you have extra energy and that kind of thing?

1:05:55 Adam Why, by the way, did you take two if it was your first time?

1:05:58 Caller I don't know. They gave me two.

1:06:01 Adam They gave you two?

1:06:02 Caller Yeah.

1:06:02 Adam All right. They took two of these. That's the thing. They didn't give you ten. Yeah.

1:06:06 Drew Well, I'm wondering, that's kind of an unusual side effect, unless there's some other brain chemistry sort of being exposed by the drug. Like perhaps you had a manic depressive type predisposition. This can bring on a little manic episodes. Is there any bipolar illness or manic depression in your family?

1:06:26 Caller No, but I've always thought I was kind of depressed. I don't really know and that was kind of another question I wanted to ask if there was any way I could get counseling without my parents knowing about it.

1:06:40 Drew Yeah, you are.

1:06:43 Adam Who's paying for it?

1:06:44 Caller Yeah, that's what I stand for.

1:06:46 Adam Thank you.

1:06:46 Drew Does the school have something?

1:06:48 Adam Why don't you let your parents know? What's wrong with that?

1:06:51 Caller Because it's kind of my brother emotionally abused me kind of all my life. I'm really nervous talking about this.

1:06:59 Adam What do you mean emotionally abused you?

1:07:02 Caller He just always constantly put me down and he killed my confidence totally and I was very, I wanted to kill myself a lot.

1:07:11 Adam It's your brother?

1:07:13 Drew Because we would suspect that something else about your parents.

1:07:16 Caller He's also physical.

1:07:17 Drew Yes, but why weren't your parents there to support you more?

1:07:20 Adam Was it actually physical?

1:07:22 Caller No, no.

1:07:23 Drew Beating.

1:07:25 Caller But I had two neighbors, two guys that they were about my age that were sexual with me. All right.

1:07:33 Drew Well, that's the real problem.

1:07:33 Adam Hey baby, you didn't have to make up your question today. You've got a handful here.

1:07:38 Caller Yeah. I'm just so, but it's really hard because outwardly, I mean, I kind of developed, like I don't know, I just decided it wasn't going to get to me anymore. I stayed very confident outwardly. Everybody thinks that I'm great. I do very well in school. I'm in high school, but I go to college.

1:07:59 Drew Well, that's the college you go to find where the mental health services are. Colleges all have very developed mental health services and then go.

1:08:07 Adam It's funny.

1:08:07 Drew That's up to you.

1:08:08 Adam What I did, I was in junior college, but I was in high school, essentially. Gradually. What was this, if I was in high school? Yes. Yeah. Just a little difference there. Really a two-piece in a pod.

1:08:21 Drew Instead of reaching out to college from high school, you're reaching back to high school from college.

1:08:26 Adam Yeah. You could smoke. It was great. All right. We will take ourselves a little break. When we come back, let's make the Javier. Javier is 21 and unprotected, had unprotected sex and now has pus coming out of his penis. Very nice. Beautiful.

1:08:40 Caller After that.

1:08:56 Adam Loveline. And then, my secret buddy over there, Dr. Drew. Tomorrow night, theoretically, if he's not too banged up, Tommy Maddox will be in here from the LX Dream. XFL. Huge win yesterday. Huge overtime win. It's an exciting football game, at least the last quarters. I've seen it a long time. All the NFL games have been blowouts, basically, the last three or four play.

1:09:24 Drew The NBA also has that too.

1:09:27 Adam Yeah.

1:09:28 Drew The East was down by 21 points most of the game.

1:09:32 Adam I like it. They slow down on the defense just long enough to let those guys do their stuff.

1:09:38 Drew Did I see the Clippers were on the East team?

1:09:41 Adam I don't know. Did you see that? I didn't pay any attention to that. I was weird.

1:09:46 Drew I couldn't quite understand that. Anyway.

1:09:48 Adam Javier?

1:09:49 Caller Yeah.

1:09:50 Adam You're 21?

1:09:51 Caller Yeah. I had a question. Well, I had some unprotected fact with this girl about the middle of January.

1:10:02 Adam Did you say vagina area? No.

1:10:04 Drew The vagina area. I think it was the middle of January.

1:10:06 Caller The middle of January.

1:10:08 Drew Did it not sound like the vagina area?

1:10:11 Adam Well, you know, they have Rocktober and, you know, they have like Led September and stuff like that on the rock stations. September, you know, maybe this is vaginuary. Okay. Next 11 months from now would be vaginuary on Loveline. Nice.

1:10:33 Drew So that was a month ago or so, three weeks ago, yeah.

1:10:35 Caller Yeah. So, you know, like afterwards, you know, we have sex, you know, I had enteropatric cysts and like two days after that, I have like this kind of like a little red like a rash on my penis.

1:10:49 Caller Did it burn?

1:10:51 Caller No, it didn't burn. It wasn't like a blister or anything. It was just like a red like, you know, like a burn or something.

1:10:56 Drew Yeah. Did it didn't hurt?

1:10:58 Caller It didn't hurt anything.

1:10:59 Drew Nothing.

1:10:59 Caller Nothing. I'll touch it. Anything. Whatever.

1:11:01 Drew Did it go away? Yeah.

1:11:02 Caller It went away like in four days.

1:11:04 Drew Well, unfortunately, an ulcer, like kind of like a scab. Yeah.

1:11:09 Caller Kind of like it was like scabbing away.

1:11:11 Drew Yeah. Anything that's like that, that goes away, doesn't hurt. It has to be considered syphilis until proven otherwise, believe it or not.

1:11:18 Adam Really? Syphilis is that mark?

1:11:19 Drew Syphilis is an ulcer, painless ulcer at the point of contact.

1:11:23 Adam Oh, really? I didn't know that.

1:11:24 Drew And then it goes away and then it comes back a few weeks later as a rash.

1:11:28 Caller Yeah. So, I mean, it's already been like, I mean, I haven't, it's already been like, you know, two, three weeks.

1:11:33 Drew I mean, you'll get the rash.

1:11:35 Caller I haven't had any rashes.

1:11:36 Drew Well, you will. What should he do? You got to, you got to be seen, you got to get treated.

1:11:41 Caller And like, after that, you know, it was gone, you know.

1:11:44 Adam Yeah. You got to be seen, you got to get treated.

1:11:47 Caller I was seen and stuff.

1:11:48 Adam Yeah.

1:11:50 Drew You're going to say you got a discharge and a hurt, and that's all part of, that's a different STD, but often you just usually get some sort of trifecta. You just get a couple when you get one.

1:11:59 Adam So I want to do a little Loveline reenactment here. All you need to do, Drew, is repeat. You have to be seen. You have to see a doctor. You have to get it treated. And so I had this hoop shaped scab on my, you know what?

1:12:17 Drew You have to be treated. You have to be seen. It's important.

1:12:20 Adam And then later when I was paying, it was like a flame came out.

1:12:24 Drew All of our reasons to get treated.

1:12:26 Adam And the bathroom curtains caught on fire. And then later my testicles exploded.

1:12:32 Drew Yeah. Maybe it would be too late for your testes.

1:12:35 Adam What's that?

1:12:36 Drew You have to be seen. You have to be treated.

1:12:37 Adam And then I was having sex with this, this hooker that died a couple of weeks earlier. And I didn't like it. It was like she had like roaches and stuff. And then anyway, my ass caught on fire. It's like, you got to be seen. He just keep piling through. Javier, whatever it is.

1:13:01 Drew He was going to get to something. You need me to go say. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. Don't worry about it. Yeah, I was wrong. The pus coming out of your penis, the fire breathing penis and the ulcer. No, forget it.

1:13:11 Adam But then one time urine came out of my penis instead of pus. That's when Drew jumps in. Wait a minute. Urine.

1:13:17 Drew Oh, forget it.

1:13:18 Adam Forget it then. Giving you a clean bill of health.

1:13:21 Caller All right.

1:13:23 Adam Shady?

1:13:24 Caller Shady.

1:13:25 Adam Shady.

1:13:26 Caller Yeah, Shady.

1:13:28 Caller What's up, Shady?

1:13:29 Caller My question is that ever since I was like 15 or 16, I always seem to go after older men.

1:13:36 Drew How much older?

1:13:38 Caller Sometimes it would be maybe about five, maximum it would be 10.

1:13:42 Caller All right.

1:13:42 Drew So you're 15, you're attracted to 20-year-old guys.

1:13:44 Caller No, actually, now I'm 21.

1:13:47 Drew You're attracted to?

1:13:48 Caller Yeah, at least have to be minimum 30. I don't know why. All my friends think I'm a freak for pulling out with older men only. I don't really find them appealing. I don't know what's wrong with me.

1:14:00 Caller I don't know why.

1:14:01 Caller If I was 15, I just don't understand why.

1:14:04 Drew Did you have an abandoning father?

1:14:06 Caller No. No, I don't.

1:14:08 Drew Interesting. I would see if the non-abandoning father, somebody was like gone for 10 years. Was he ever out of your life?

1:14:15 Caller No.

1:14:15 Drew Never.

1:14:16 Caller No, I was at home with both my parents.

1:14:19 Drew There wasn't anything, any problem with that? Everything was okay?

1:14:21 Caller Yeah, everything's okay. Every now and then, I'll get like maybe verbally abused.

1:14:26 Caller But that's pretty much it.

1:14:28 Caller That's pretty much the extent.

1:14:29 Adam My dad?

1:14:31 Caller Well, the joy of time, yeah, will be by dad. But Sheldon will be by my mother.

1:14:36 Adam What did he do for a living, your dad?

1:14:39 Caller He's actually, he has his own business.

1:14:41 Adam Oh, I see.

1:14:43 Caller Business, right?

1:14:43 Adam Oh, business?

1:14:44 Caller Yeah.

1:14:46 Adam Does he have papers and stuff?

1:14:47 Caller Paper and?

1:14:48 Adam What do you do?

1:14:49 Caller No, he inputs the next day.

1:14:52 Adam All right. And he's not gone at the office all day?

1:14:56 Caller No, actually he does it at home.

1:14:57 Drew He's an alcoholic or an addict? No.

1:15:00 Caller I mean-

1:15:01 Drew A little verbal abuse.

1:15:03 Caller All right.

1:15:03 Adam Listen, there's some women. First off, let me tell you something. We play the odds on this show. Odds are someone who call up if you're a problem would be an abandoning situation. That's why we ask those questions. But sometimes you're 21, you just attracted the guys in their 30s. That happens quite a bit too without the precursor stuff.

1:15:26 Drew Yeah. So we don't think it's that bizarre.

1:15:28 Caller But it's so freaky that I get from time to time trains about my manager. He's like 33 and I have dreams about having sex with him all the time.

1:15:40 Drew I don't know why.

1:15:41 Adam What kind of place do you work at?

1:15:43 Drew Restaurant.

1:15:44 Caller No.

1:15:45 Caller No, I actually work at a bank.

1:15:49 Drew If you were to pull Monica Lewinsky, I would think that was troubled. In other words, to be attractive to guys in authority, fine. To be attractive to older guys, fine. But then to act on that or to do provocative things and to pick guys that would violate their role in authority, then I have a problem.

1:16:06 Adam He's got to be married, this guy, right?

1:16:08 Caller No, no, he's actually not. But he doesn't know anything and I just pick his dreams.

1:16:12 Drew He drives this crap all the time.

1:16:14 Adam Is he divorced?

1:16:16 Caller No, he's single.

1:16:17 Drew Why don't you ask him out?

1:16:20 Caller I'm trying to be a manager anyway.

1:16:21 Drew All right, good. You insist you're fine. Hey, listen.

1:16:25 Caller I don't know how to tell my parents because especially when I get married, they're going to tell me I'm going to marry only an older guy because I have to get an arranged marriage.

1:16:35 Caller Oh, boy.

1:16:37 Adam Yeah, we're getting there. What's your nationality?

1:16:41 Caller Middle Eastern.

1:16:43 Drew You have to get an arranged marriage.

1:16:45 Caller Yeah.

1:16:46 Adam Really?

1:16:46 Drew Why?

1:16:48 Caller Well, I don't really want to, but you know, I'm just, I only think I'm not even attracted to my own race, and I'm usually going to go for like in an Arab or-

1:16:59 Drew Are you financially dependent on your parents?

1:17:02 Caller No, I work and-

1:17:04 Drew Why don't you get yourself independent?

1:17:05 Adam Of course, Middle Eastern men are amongst the most attractive men if you ever see them. Wonderful, wonderful individuals. They know how to treat ladies. I'll tell you that right now. They know how to treat ladies. They're like a disturbing stereotype. Put this bag on your head. Just don't clean that up.

1:17:24 Drew In another country, right?

1:17:25 Adam Yes, yes.

1:17:26 Caller No, the thing is-

1:17:27 Adam Where do you think they're coming from?

1:17:28 Drew They're here.

1:17:29 Adam No, they're going to import. They're going to import a husband.

1:17:32 Caller No, the thing is if I'm not attracted to like maybe someone-

1:17:35 Drew If you're my ex-wife or daughter, it's your worst.

1:17:37 Caller Like I'm attracted to a guy who is like white or Italian.

1:17:41 Adam Oh, Italian. Now you're talking.

1:17:43 Caller Okay, listen.

1:17:45 Adam You're in America now. You're 21. You don't owe your parents anything. I mean, you own some love and a handful of respect, but you don't want to marry someone you're not attracted to or not interested in.

1:18:00 Drew It's sort of a classic problem of the people that immigrate to America. We talked a lot of Asian people that have this issue. The old family want to stay attached to the old country morality, old country culture, old country way of conducting themselves. It may not be yours anymore.

1:18:15 Adam It's wonderful there. That's why you moved here. You should always remember that.

1:18:19 Caller If I don't marry my own race, my father will be so mean and I can't make him unhappy.

1:18:24 Adam He's a wonderful Middle Eastern gentleman. He's a dynamite guy. Your dad's not sounding like a great guy with the verbal abuse and the Sony.

1:18:34 Caller My mom, she's Indian, from India. My dad, he's actually from a country called Sudan in Africa.

1:18:41 Drew Well, he didn't marry his own race.

1:18:44 Caller Yeah, he did. He's like Sudanese Indian. It goes way back. There's a story from my mom.

1:18:52 Adam All right. So your dad's out of North Africa?

1:18:55 Caller He was actually born and raised in Africa.

1:18:57 Drew His dad, yeah.

1:18:58 Caller Yeah.

1:18:59 Adam And your mom's from India? And where's that near, Iowa? How close is India to-

1:19:07 Drew It can be Anna.

1:19:09 Adam Oh, I see. I'm confused. Is she not a Hoosier, your mom?

1:19:12 Caller No, no, no, no.

1:19:14 Caller No.

1:19:14 Adam I'm sorry.

1:19:15 Caller I'm sorry.

1:19:16 Adam Listen, listen, listen to me. Listen, you're going to, you're flying the coop. That's it. Get out of the house. It's not going to work.

1:19:25 Caller Even when the fall, I'm trying to transfer to UCLA anyway.

1:19:28 Adam Right. There you go.

1:19:29 Drew You know, that Bruin talk tonight got her going. Right. You need to have your own life. You need to be successful on your own and then address the family. Don't worry about anything right now.

1:19:38 Adam Right.

1:19:39 Drew Maybe she'll want to retain the old culture.

1:19:41 Adam She might. She's not attracted to her culture.

1:19:44 Drew The old arranged marriages, you know.

1:19:46 Adam Oh, listen. They last on average 20 years longer than non-arranged marriages because what happens is the guy, the part that your attraction is your weakest link.

1:20:00 Drew That's right.

1:20:00 Adam It is you at your worst.

1:20:02 Drew Yeah.

1:20:02 Adam Daddy was an alcoholic. You're attracted to the alcoholic guy. Daddy was abusive. You're attracted to the abusive. Mom was a whatever as a male. You're attracted to that.

1:20:11 Caller Yeah.

1:20:12 Adam So you should not be trusted.

1:20:14 Drew So we'll set you up with someone.

1:20:16 Adam But if you're not attracted to the guy from the get-go, for Christ's sake, Jesse.

1:20:22 Caller Jesse.

1:20:23 Adam All right.

1:20:24 Drew Let's go to break.

1:20:25 Adam All right. When we come back, we're going to speak to Jamie Lynn. Jamie Lynn is 19. She wants to have sex every day and boyfriend never wants to have sex.

1:20:37 Caller We'll talk to Jamie Lynn after this.

1:20:48 Adam Hey, Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew. Let me add something there, Drew. You know, something I was thinking about. On my cell phone, when I check my messages, I can not erase the message until the entirety of the goddamn message is played. Do you have that on your cell phone? No, I don't think so. You can just erase immediately. The feature that some people have on their cell phone, if you want to call the feature, I was about ready to kill my grandmother and the makers of the cell phone. When it's always pissed me off that I can't just hear the message, understand who it's from, especially when he got my family, who rambles more than I do. Listen, I ramble, but at least there's some entertainment value in my ramble. One out of every hundred ramblings will be amusing. Not my family. They ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble. You might as well just listen to a police auction. My grandmother called me. She hurt her hip. She's rehabbing. That's all good. She didn't hang the phone up properly. I have an unlimited amount of time on my messages. There were like three messages. Hers was number one and I listened and I had no choice. It was like hearing the TV in the background, hearing the wait, the nurse came in. How are we doing Mrs. Garbline? You're looking good. Well, let's have you torture me. I thought she was going to start talking smack about me at a certain point. She was listening. I originally heard like, well now call me back and the phone attempted to be hung up and then I heard her say, that's my grandson. I called him and then some other fine. How are you? It just kept going and going and I'm listening to phone and I'm screaming in my office, you bastards. Why doesn't that exist? That's bad. I got to clone myself so I can fix everything. Go down there and sue that you guys are lucky. I know Kia, I think makes my phone. I have no idea whether that's Jordan or not. Jamie Lynn, you're 19.

1:23:06 Caller Yes. What's that? Okay.

1:23:08 Caller Well, what my question was, was if a man can be desensitized from wanting to have sex.

1:23:18 Drew Can you overwhelm him?

1:23:20 Caller Well, it's not a matter of-

1:23:23 Drew Jamie, Jamie, just ask the question. Set up a situation and ask the question about it.

1:23:28 Caller Okay.

1:23:29 Drew Don't start speculating in the question.

1:23:31 Caller Okay. In a past relationship that he was in, his past relationship, he used to be into this really hardcore type, really, really kinky type sex. We just started a new relationship about two months ago. I just think that is there a possibility that he can be desensitized from his past relationship and not be like that?

1:23:56 Adam Not from his past relationship, but whatever drove him to be Mr. Kinky in the last one is what's effed up in him.

1:24:04 Caller Yeah.

1:24:05 Adam That's why he's acting the way he is. It wasn't the activity that screwed him up, it was the wanting of the activity that still exists within him.

1:24:15 Caller Think of like up until about maybe a month ago, actually like three weeks ago, I hadn't had sex in like 11.5 months.

1:24:24 Caller I had just got out of a really bad relationship myself.

1:24:27 Adam Go ahead and say a year by the way. We'll forgive you the two weeks. Just say I hadn't had sex in a year. Okay.

1:24:34 Caller All right. Well, about a year and this is the first sexual relationship I've been in that time and it's driving me crazy because I want to have sex all the time with him. It's like I don't.

1:24:49 Adam He doesn't want to have sex.

1:24:51 Caller No.

1:24:51 Drew How often do you actually have sex?

1:24:54 Caller Maybe once every two or three days.

1:24:57 Drew How long have you been in this relationship?

1:24:59 Adam About a month.

1:25:01 Drew What was he doing in his previous relationship?

1:25:04 Caller As far as I know, what I catch of it, it was really pinky, like real crazy, like choking and flapping and pulling hair.

1:25:15 Drew This guy is a mess. You lost one bad guy, you found another one.

1:25:22 Caller No, he is a total, total sweetheart.

1:25:24 Caller It's just that I want to be loved.

1:25:26 Drew He beat the crap out of his previous girlfriend, wants to make love to her. Only sweetheart do that, that's not true.

1:25:32 Caller But see, she wanted him to be.

1:25:34 Adam John Wayne Gacy was a clown.

1:25:36 Caller Yeah.

1:25:37 Adam You understand? They interview his neighbors. He is a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful member of the community. Listen, he's got some issues. I know you're blaming this on his ex. Who was participating in this the whole time? What did he do? Take his penis off and attach to the dog, and go cry in the other room while he cuddled himself? No, he was participating in this. That's what he's into.

1:26:03 Caller Okay.

1:26:04 Caller How can I make him want to have sex more?

1:26:08 Adam He's got issues with his sexuality. He may be bi. I'm just floating that. I got a vibe on this guy. He's got issues. You understand? And they're going to surface, and they already have, in your relationship.

1:26:24 Drew And you have chosen bad guys in the past. That's your thing. You're attracted to guys that have problems.

1:26:28 Adam Why is it so important to you?

1:26:30 Caller Well, see, because he's not a bad guy.

1:26:33 Adam Why is it so important to you that he humped the bejesus out of you seven days a week? He can't handle two or three times a week?

1:26:39 Caller Because I want it so bad.

1:26:41 Adam I know. Why do you want? He teases me. Listen, when I say, when I say, why is it so important to you? And you answer with, because I want it so bad. That's not an answer.

1:26:52 Caller Because he teases me to the point. It's like, I mean, he'll tease me and tease me and get me like totally sexually aroused. And then he'll just like, you know, stop and leave it alone.

1:27:01 Adam Why? I thought he was Mr. Wonderful.

1:27:03 Drew That's abusive, Jamiland. That's abusive. That's what that is.

1:27:09 Adam Oh, goodness. Well, why is he doing that to you? I mean, because he's a screwy guy. Sexually, he's got issues.

1:27:19 Drew That's bizarre to behave like that.

1:27:21 Adam Yeah. I'll do that every once in a while, though. I mean, I'll put on something tight. I know the ladies are checking me out. I'll wear like a thong back, underpants and I'll, you know, parade around the house a little.

1:27:37 Drew Can you ever retrieve that?

1:27:38 Adam I'll wave my ass in front of the ladies a little bit. Then when they get close, I'm like, don't touch.

1:27:43 Caller Don't touch, baby.

1:27:44 Drew Can't touch this.

1:27:45 Adam Can't touch this. I'll be able to move it around. I know they're looking. I know you ladies look, especially if I wear something tight, like I said, you know? I got this look where certain look, where I walk around with one eyebrow higher than the other. One-finger chick likes to. Just the way I move. You know what I'm saying?

1:28:04 Drew You know what I'm saying?

1:28:05 Caller Go for it.

1:28:05 Adam But I can't touch.

1:28:07 Drew One more call.

1:28:08 Adam All right. Jamie is more, Jamie Lynn is more screwed up than we're aware of.

1:28:13 Caller That's true. Thank you.

1:28:15 Adam So is her boyfriend.

1:28:16 Drew That goes without saying.

1:28:17 Adam Sam?

1:28:18 Caller Yeah.

1:28:18 Adam You're 23.

1:28:20 Caller Okay. My boyfriend and I have this whole problem. We've been together for four years and he looks at porn on the Internet all the time.

1:28:32 Drew What do you mean all the time?

1:28:35 Caller Like every day.

1:28:38 Adam How long every day?

1:28:39 Drew He checks in for five minutes or is he sitting there for hours?

1:28:42 Caller No, he's a brother.

1:28:44 Drew How long does he sit there?

1:28:45 Adam How long?

1:28:47 Caller I don't know. I'd say probably he'll stay on for maybe 25 minutes at a time and he'll get on the Internet a couple of times a day.

1:28:56 Adam He's there too much. He's got to learn to move a little faster. He's masturbating each time?

1:29:01 Caller I have no idea. He doesn't do it while I'm here.

1:29:04 Adam All right.

1:29:05 Caller The thing is, we've talked, count it three times about this and I've told him, please not look at it because it feels bad.

1:29:14 Drew Okay.

1:29:15 Caller I feel very insecure.

1:29:17 Drew Well, insecure, that's your issue. That's men look at this stuff and that's just men. Nothing to do with how he feels about you. I know it's hard to even process that as a woman. It has nothing to do with his attraction or his feels or his commitment or his love or anything to do with you. But it's compulsive and wasteful.

1:29:35 Adam It's about an hour and a half a day.

1:29:37 Caller But it goes back a little bit further than that. Because when we first got together, he threw this idea at me that he wanted to do his own business, and he wanted to do the porn business.

1:29:50 Adam Well, you got yourself an entrepreneur there.

1:29:52 Drew Studying the business, huh?

1:29:54 Caller No, kidding.

1:29:55 Adam What does he want to do in the porn business?

1:29:57 Caller He wants to videotape, photograph, pretty much anything.

1:30:02 Adam No, I understand that he doesn't want to star in the movies.

1:30:05 Caller No, he says he doesn't. Well, his occupation won't allow it.

1:30:09 Drew What's his occupation?

1:30:10 Adam Cop. Yeah. Okay. Listen, I'm sorry. I know we got a lot of cops and stuff. Listen to the show. You're pregnant. I don't want to come over and shoot me. A lot of cops are some pretty f-ed up dudes.

1:30:22 Caller No, no kidding. I know.

1:30:23 Adam I respect them. I respect what they do when they're not doing the chicken-ass stuff. I do respect it. I wouldn't do it myself, but it attracts a certain breed of cats. Those cats oftentimes don't make great husbands. The suicide rate is high and they blame it on the job. Think about the guys going through the job, at the job. All right. This guy's probably got a couple of issues floating around.

1:30:50 Caller Okay. Well, let's see the big thing is why isn't he not listening to me?

1:30:56 Adam Well, he stopped listening to you a long time ago.

1:30:58 Drew He's either sexually compulsive or something worse. To put it frankly, some personality problem going on here.

1:31:06 Caller He's always looking at, you know how you can tell, like when you look on your history or something, you can tell what sites they're out there.

1:31:15 Drew What are you looking at?

1:31:16 Caller Like teensex.com.

1:31:18 Drew Okay. Hold on.

1:31:20 Adam What's the number for that? That's where I'm going.

1:31:22 Caller All right.

1:31:23 Adam Here's the deal, Sam. You cannot be the warden in his penitentiary. No way. Because what he does is he hides. Listen to me, all you women. You start rouse around like you're the guard and he will just tunnel his way out of there. He'll go underground. This is what all guys do. You bust them, they hide. You need to talk to them. Say, listen, I love you. We got to get some help. We got to get some help for this relationship. I know you do what you do. I want to work it out. All right. Do not be the cop in his already cop filled life. Well, there you go. Drew has had his fun of me.

1:32:08 Drew Now, I'll get my whole thing off.

1:32:10 Adam All right.

1:32:11 Drew You'll put me off there.

1:32:12 Adam That's right.

1:32:12 Drew No, it's actually not.

1:32:14 Adam We're going to take an extended 22-hour break. We're going to be back, hopefully. And I say hopefully with Tommy Maxx because I did see him play yesterday. He was took a pound day. Oh, yeah. And you know, he's no kid anymore. He's been around the league, been in the NFL for a while too. So we hope he's feeling good and hope he's up to tomorrow night. He'll be flying up here. So until next time, this is Adam Cromer for Dr. Drew Sayan. Mahalo.

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Sunday, February 11, 2001