Episode 1000754887111

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:06 Go!

1:08 Voiceover Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:14 It is Loveline.

1:15 Adam I'm Adam Corolla.

1:17 And that is Dr. who?

1:19 Adam Dr. Drew, everybody. He's back after I dutifully held down the fort for the last, what seems like, three or four weeks. Dr. Drew is here. He is one of our guests. He's a board certified physician, Dixon medicine specialist.

1:33 Drew Welcome to Three Nights at Campion.

1:34 Adam 1-800-LOV-191. That is his phone number.

1:37 Drew Register his frustration this May.

1:39 Adam Someone's gotta hold down the fort. I can't believe we get paid the same amount. 310-840-4051 is the fax number. Kathy Griffin is our guest tonight. Kathy, as I was explaining on the air last night, is a dear, dear, dear friend of mine because in show business, if you know a guy, he's your friend. So if someone is actually your friend, they're your dear, dear friend because I don't want people to confuse you with someone we just know.

2:07 Kathy Griffin How many dears do I get before our title?

2:09 Drew Two.

2:09 Adam Deer, dear, dear friend. She's a dear, dear friend.

2:12 Kathy Griffin Okay. How many dears can you get? What's the potential?

2:15 Adam You probably, I think after two dears, you shift to-

2:19 Drew Spouse.

2:20 Caller Brother.

2:21 Drew Relative, yes.

2:22 Adam Yeah.

2:22 Kathy Griffin So it's almost your brother.

2:24 Adam She's like a sibling. Right. Which is no compliment from the Carolla family.

2:28 Kathy Griffin Oh, please.

2:28 Adam Believe me, we all hate each other. Anyway, Kathy, I was just watching MTV and watching Kathy on her new show, which is Kathy's so-called reality, which is really, it's Sunday night, it's 10 o'clock, but they run it all the time as they tend to do on MTV. And it's smart because it's Kathy's strength.

2:49 Kathy Griffin Dishing.

2:50 Adam Yeah, it's playing.

2:50 Kathy Griffin I have something to say about just about everything.

2:53 Adam Well, you love television.

2:54 Kathy Griffin I love the reality shows, completely addicted.

2:57 Drew Why do you watch Temptation Island? Help me understand that.

2:59 Kathy Griffin First of all, Temptation Island, I'm still reeling from tonight's episode. I watch it tight.

3:03 Drew I want to take a shower after five minutes.

3:05 Kathy Griffin I know. I know. It is genius. But isn't it so telling about just male-female gender politics, human nature?

3:10 Drew It's everything I've already knew was awful. Yes.

3:12 Kathy Griffin I know. It is. It really, it reinforces every fear I ever had about male-female relationships. The men, once again, they go for the looks only. The women got to screw it up. And the women ultimately kind of just- Right. Or they want to just hang out with each other. Yes.

3:25 Adam Hold on one doggone second.

3:27 Kathy Griffin Adam, please tell me you've seen it.

3:28 Adam I have seen it. And tonight, the men, the so-called men, kicked the hottest one off the island.

3:35 Drew One of the hottest ones.

3:35 Adam One of the hottest chicks.

3:37 Drew No, the Miss Georgia.

3:38 Adam Miss Georgia, beautiful brunette, threw her ass right off the island, kept the spindly one, the spindly flat chested one.

3:45 Kathy Griffin Men love spindly. I don't know why, but they-

3:48 Adam I question- I'll tell you, there would have been a fist fight if they tried to get Miss Georgia off that island.

3:53 Kathy Griffin Miss Georgia USA.

3:55 Adam Yes.

3:55 Kathy Griffin I think it's a little different.

3:57 Adam Right. Not the former.

3:58 Kathy Griffin Well, Megan from Temptation Island is actually going to be on my show tomorrow. So I got her hot off the island.

4:04 Adam Well, let me-

4:05 Kathy Griffin Well, actually I should say I taped the show tomorrow, but it'll air on Sunday.

4:08 Adam All right. So to me anyway, as I was watching Kathy do her thing on MTV, I thought, this is smart. This is right in her wheelhouse. It's what she does best and she's doing a show. I mean, it's nice because it's easy. Right. Because that's what you would be doing anyway.

4:24 Kathy Griffin In my own living room.

4:25 Adam Yeah, it's like someone puts some makeup on you and leave your living room.

4:27 Kathy Griffin Yeah, slap a little powder on and start the camera.

4:30 Drew She's your dear, dear friend.

4:31 Adam Just a little.

4:31 Drew You've been asked on the show?

4:33 Adam Well, she only asked- Oh, I'm sorry.

4:35 Drew Maybe it's your dear friend.

4:36 Adam Yeah, she's my dear, dear friend. But one of the things about Kathy and I being dear is we don't want to mix business with pleasure. We don't want to jeopardize what we have.

4:45 Kathy Griffin Yeah, I don't want to lose the friendship.

4:47 Adam That's the important thing. I could come on. I could feel like the green room wasn't up to snuff, the gift basket wasn't full enough, there weren't enough digital cameras. Right. And next thing you know, we start a little hissy. I have a little hissy fit in there, and there's a rift, and that's not going to happen.

5:03 Kathy Griffin And it's Whitney and Rosie all over again.

5:04 Adam Because Kathy's wedding is coming up, and I'm excited to go to this because it's so nearby, and the booze is going to be free, theoretically.

5:13 Kathy Griffin It is.

5:14 Adam But I was talking about this last night on the air, and I'm not going to talk about the location or the date or anything like that, but I don't want to give anything away. But I was talking about the sponsorship aspect of this that we were talking about before the show, that this is sponsored by Seagrams and I think Skoll Bandits is a smokeless tobacco.

5:35 Kathy Griffin No.

5:35 Drew And Jägermeister.

5:36 Kathy Griffin We'll read the sponsors on the back door.

5:38 Drew American Foundation for AIDS Research.

5:39 Kathy Griffin Well, no, no. Those are actually the beneficiaries.

5:41 Drew Oh, yeah. Absolute Vodka, Seagrams, Alba Press, Miller Brewing Company, Coca-Cola, Hanson's Cakes, American Wine and Spirits, Kenneth Cole.

5:49 Adam Now, will Kenneth Cole do your dress?

5:52 Kathy Griffin Kenneth Cole is doing Matt's suit in our shoes. Richard Tyler is doing my dress.

5:56 Adam I see. From Aerosmith?

5:59 Kathy Griffin No, different one.

6:00 Adam Okay. And this is smart. So what she's doing is she was able to use her considerable celebrity to get these people to donate their services and goods.

6:11 Kathy Griffin Right, they're basically giving me a free wedding.

6:13 Adam Right, for them it's a write-off, right?

6:14 Kathy Griffin And it's press and it's feeling good and doing a charitable thing.

6:18 Adam Right, so Seagrams donates a bunch of booze and mix and stuff like that.

6:22 Kathy Griffin They're doing the hard liquor and Miller's doing the beer and Coca-Cola's doing the sodas.

6:26 Adam They write that off and then what you ask in lieu of gifts for your wedding is for people to make a donation to one of these organizations.

6:34 Kathy Griffin To either Amphar or Planet Hope. But also, the wedding doesn't cost me anything or almost nothing because what I'm doing is I am donating the amount I would have spent on the wedding to Amphar and Planet Hope. Because I just decided for me, weddings seem like a huge amount of money for a one-day party. And I thought, you know, we're talking about thousands, tens of thousands of dollars. I personally would rather do this with that money than go, well, I had a great party and I took out a mortgage.

7:03 Adam What do you estimate this is going to run? Or what kind of check are you going to cut?

7:07 Kathy Griffin I'm definitely not going to say the amount because I don't need that kind of crap.

7:10 Adam At least 10 grand off of the...

7:11 Kathy Griffin Absolutely, yes. All right. It'll be in the tens of thousands. That's all I'm going to say, though.

7:16 Drew Great weddings and crappy marriages out there. It's a good idea. No, really, that's all I...

7:20 Kathy Griffin Well, the only thing is I don't mean to put down weddings because I know women get like, it's such a huge industry with all the magazines and women, it's their dream day. I'm just saying for me, it's not exciting to put, to have a fancy hairdo and put a pretty dress on because I get to do that a few times a year. So I'm not so into the protocol and I'm not really into the formality and stuff. So for me, I'd rather have a big party and get a little money.

7:42 Adam I think it's a lovely idea and I've always questioned the strategy of especially couples that don't have much money dropping 10 or 15 grand.

7:50 Kathy Griffin And taking out loans, that seems insane to me.

7:53 Adam Yeah, when they are now, they've now put themselves 10 years further away from a down payment on their first house.

7:58 Kathy Griffin Or the dress, the dress that's $4,000 that you can wear once.

8:02 Drew Whose parents sent them down.

8:03 Adam Don't worry, hold on, my daughter is going to wear this dress. Yeah, why aren't you wearing your mom's dress, bitch? Get that thing out. She said the same thing.

8:12 Drew Or the parents that said that go, honey, we will put a down payment on a house. Just go run away, go get a lobe. No, no, I gotta have the wedding. What?

8:19 Kathy Griffin I think it's a big princess fantasy. I've heard that from a lot of girls. I wanna be a princess for a day. I wanna feel like a princess.

8:26 Adam Just drop some acid and watch a Disney movie.

8:31 Kathy Griffin Your highness.

8:31 Adam There's a money saver. All right, so the point is, now here's what I wanna know. What kind of check should I be cutting for the donation?

8:41 Kathy Griffin Okay, honestly, I think that what you should donate is what you would have spent on a gift. Except in your case.

8:48 Adam Oh, my case.

8:48 Kathy Griffin Yeah, since you make a good buck.

8:50 Drew And he's a dear, dear friend.

8:51 Kathy Griffin You know, cough it up. He's a dear, dear friend.

8:53 Adam Okay, but what are we talking about with me?

8:56 Kathy Griffin All right, Gary Shanley gave a grand.

8:58 Caller Oh, that's not a grand.

8:59 Kathy Griffin I think you should match it.

9:01 Adam Yeah, but he sued Brillstein Grain, made like a billion dollars, didn't he?

9:05 Kathy Griffin Well, why don't you sue, you know, K-Rock or who doesn't some big company owns this station?

9:09 Adam You can sue someone.

9:10 Kathy Griffin Stacey is suing Survivor. You can sue someone.

9:13 Adam I'm going to start with 2850, the initial check. When the lawsuit settlement comes...

9:16 Kathy Griffin This is not a negotiation.

9:18 Adam No, once the settlement comes through, when I'm done suing Stone Stanley or Infinity or whoever else is going to fire me after they listen to this, then the big money rolls in. All right. Really a thousand bucks, that son of a bitch.

9:31 Kathy Griffin And for anyone who's listening, you can go on to amphar.org or planethope.com and learn about these charities.

9:38 Adam What is Amphar?

9:39 Kathy Griffin Amphar is American Federation for Age Research. And so it really deals with a lot of the science. Well, Drew, you probably are familiar with it.

9:46 Drew You know what?

9:46 Kathy Griffin It's a lot of the research and science of an aged care.

9:49 Drew It's something that Hollywood has picked up. It's not that big a deal in the scientific circles.

9:53 Kathy Griffin Oh.

9:54 Drew It's the, I mean, it's great. It's a great organization.

9:57 Kathy Griffin But they fund doctors and they fund labs and stuff like that. But it's Sharon Stone's thing.

10:02 Drew Sharon's going to go behind this.

10:03 Kathy Griffin Right. It's Sharon Stone's baby. But I mean, as opposed to Project Angel Food, which is a very hands-on, bringing meals to AIDS patients and stuff like that. And Planet Hope is a homeless kids' camp.

10:14 Adam Well, I'm down with that. And I'd like to go for-

10:18 Kathy Griffin You're down with all of it.

10:19 Adam Planet Sterilization, where we sterilize what I call troublemakers. But I'll get drunk and take the podium and explain that to the guests at the wedding. Oh my God.

10:29 Kathy Griffin That's going to be quite a toast.

10:30 Adam Wait till I get into some of that Seagrams. All right. Dan?

10:34 Yeah.

10:35 Adam Oh, wait till I get hold of that Gary Shanling too.

10:38 Kathy Griffin Can I just say before we even start with Dan, the one thing that I never get over whenever I do the show is how we're like talking and having fun. And then the calls start and they're like, hi, I found out, you know, I have a terminal disease and I was just anally raped four seconds ago. And now comedian Kathy Griffin. So Dan, please, I hope your call isn't too horrible.

10:59 Adam The worst is when we have to do the plugs. Yeah. Oh, anally raped. Speaking of anally raped, Kathy's going to be there finding improv all weekend.

11:06 Oh, God.

11:07 Adam Dan? All right, go ahead, man.

11:10 Yeah. I got an email the other day from my girlfriend saying she broke up with me. And you know, it's just like real freaking weird because I thought everything was all right.

11:20 Adam Yeah. Where is she? She out of town?

11:23 No, she's like, she's at her house.

11:24 Drew I mean, did you try calling her?

11:27 I tried and her parents were like covering up for her, you know, like she's not home. She's out with her mom or something like that. Her dad did that. And it's just, it's like real weird. And so I was halfway over there and I called her dad up one night. I called him to call her up. And you know, her, her dad just keeps covering for her.

11:42 Drew How long have you been dating her?

11:44 About nine months.

11:46 Drew And how was it going?

11:48 I thought it was going good.

11:49 Adam That's the beauty of guys. Yeah. We never see it coming.

11:52 Drew Yeah. Was she ever saying, gee, no pain of attention or too much time with your guy friends or anything like that?

11:58 No. You know, I thought everything was all right. I mean, I only get to see her on the weekend.

12:02 Kathy Griffin Do you think she went to Temptation Island? Sometimes someone can be just missing for a while and it turns out they're actually on Temptation Island.

12:09 Drew You only see her on the weekends?

12:11 Yeah. It's like her parents rule or something like that. It's pretty gay. It's like.

12:14 Drew Is there a reason that the parents would, how old is she? 18.

12:18 Kathy Griffin Yeah.

12:19 Drew Any reason the parents wouldn't be too happy with you?

12:21 No. I thought her parents loved me, but she's like, she went to state for golf last year and she's got a good chance.

12:29 Kathy Griffin Right? Lesbian?

12:30 Adam Yeah. She's dating her female caddy.

12:33 Drew There's just, there's information missing, Dan.

12:35 Adam She went to state for golf. Hey, Dan.

12:37 Drew Something's missing.

12:38 Adam What do you do for a living?

12:39 Me? I'm going to college.

12:42 Kathy Griffin Well, which is it? High? He said high.

12:45 Adam College. Junior college, right?

12:47 No, I'm going to Prud Lafayette.

12:50 Adam You're going to Lafayette?

12:51 Yeah, West Lafayette.

12:52 Adam All right. All right. So listen, Dan, I'm sorry she did this to you, but she probably means it.

12:58 Drew Yeah.

12:59 I just wanted to make a statement. You don't break up with somebody over email.

13:02 Drew I think that's true. I think that's lame.

13:03 Adam You don't. But, Dan, you do if you think they might be a little dangerous or a little dicey or freak on you. Maybe. Is she a little scared you might freak on her?

13:13 Caller I guess she was, you know, but I'm a freaking teddy bear. I've never done anything like that before ever.

13:17 Drew Well, you seem to be coming on pretty strong here. It happened a few weeks ago and you're still calling the house.

13:22 Adam Did you ever scare her at all? Did you ever freak around a little bit?

13:27 Caller One time I raised my voice to my mom. I guess I yelled at her on the phone because she said something to me. I didn't mean to when she heard me. I got scared.

13:38 Adam Well, Dan, I'm sorry, but this one's probably over. You can just move on.

13:43 Caller Yep.

13:44 Adam That's all right.

13:45 Drew I agree with you about the email though.

13:47 Adam Dan gave me the creeps a little bit.

13:49 Drew Immediately.

13:49 Kathy Griffin I don't want him to yell at his mom. Immediately get the creeps.

13:51 Drew That's what I said. There's information missing. There's something going on here. We know he perceives it a certain way, but what's really going on?

13:57 Adam Dan gave me the creeps a little bit.

13:58 Kathy Griffin Maybe his mom is tied up in a closet somewhere with a couple of shiners.

14:02 Adam I'm assuming that she didn't want him to freak in person.

14:06 Drew His mom said something to him on the phone.

14:08 Kathy Griffin Yeah, mom, don't say that to me. Something like that might happen.

14:12 Adam Well, you know how it is when your post-em is only lukewarm and you wanted it hot. Oh, livid. That bitch should have left it in the microwave for another 15 seconds. Let me say something real quick about Temptation Island. I was telling Drew about this.

14:23 Kathy Griffin I can't say enough.

14:24 Adam Here, I know this show is like heroin. Actually, I got two things to say about Temptation Island and then we're moving on. First off, Mark Wahlberg is coming in here next week and I couldn't be happier for this guy because this is a guy who had a syndicated TV show. He took it to NAPI. We were there with him.

14:40 Kathy Griffin What show?

14:40 Drew He had his own talk show.

14:42 Adam He was top of the world. This is about four or five years ago. And then the last time I saw him, he was doing audience warmup for Win Ben Stein's money. And I was talking to Jimmy about it and it's like, yeah, man, Mark Wahlberg, you know, we're laughing our asses off. But it was like, Jesus Christ, this guy had his own TV show. Now he's warming up your lame show. And we both felt really bad. And he's a nice guy. And I'm glad to see him. That's not overdo it.

15:06 Drew I'm glad.

15:07 Adam No, he is a talented guy. And I'm glad to see him back on TV and doing his thing and getting his recognition.

15:14 Drew The other thing, this week, I really see, I had to just get my head examined. I watched like an hour of XFL too. Wow.

15:20 Kathy Griffin What's going on, Drew?

15:22 Drew I don't know. I couldn't lose a heroin. I couldn't stop watching.

15:24 Adam One of his testes dropped just Friday.

15:28 Drew Was there one thing about that XFL you found totally disturbing? The most disturbing thing?

15:32 Kathy Griffin Yeah, the cheerleaders.

15:33 Drew No.

15:34 Adam Oh. I don't know. Drew, this is the beauty of you because you're never right.

15:39 Drew The beauty of you that you never give me a good answer to a reasonable question.

15:42 Adam I watched about an hour of the XFL too.

15:44 Drew Does something bother you more than anything else? Something just bugs you and makes you insane.

15:48 Adam All of the sideline interviews where the guys didn't really want to talk bothered me, especially when the guy was on the phone to the tower and they were trying to interview him and he was talking to his coach. I don't know, the camera on the field?

16:02 Drew I mean, that is bizarre. The kickoff receiver, the punt receiver back there, you see a cameraman standing behind him, running after him.

16:09 Adam Oh, yeah.

16:10 Drew That is just so distracting. I thought for you it would make you absolutely nuts.

16:13 Adam It's like when I see a grip in a porn film. It ruins the whole thing for me.

16:17 Kathy Griffin Yeah, I know. Clear the frame for God's sake.

16:20 Adam Yeah, absolutely. All right, one more thing about Temptation Island. I want to say to you, Kathy, here should be the next Temptation Island. This show was filmed like six, eight months ago. It's been in the can for a little while, right? All these women are back off the island. I'm not talking about the girlfriends of the guys. I'm talking about the hoes who were sent.

16:38 Kathy Griffin The singles, the swinging singles, right.

16:39 Adam Yeah, the ones that took the hoe barge.

16:41 Right, direct barge.

16:43 Adam All of them, they're hot chicks. They're all back now. They probably all have boyfriends. And now them and their boyfriends have to sit there and watch them go to the cabana with these strange guys.

16:53 Kathy Griffin So it's almost like there's little tribal councils going on.

16:57 Drew No, there needs to be a reality TV show of these people watching Temptation Island.

17:01 Adam The chick and her new boyfriend sitting there and her boyfriend watching his new love going to the cabana.

17:06 Kathy Griffin And at first he kind of likes it like, wow, my girlfriend is so hot that she was even on a television show that celebrates hot women. And then 20 minutes later, he's just like, I gotta go. I don't feel so good.

17:15 Adam Right. And she's in a marzipan thong back getting a rub down from some native guy. And now the guy is freaking out.

17:23 Kathy Griffin Right. Saying, Billy, take me.

17:24 Adam Right. Beverly?

17:26 Drew Yes.

17:26 Adam You're 32.

17:27 Drew What's up?

17:29 My boyfriend has a problem with premature ejaculation.

17:32 Kathy Griffin How old is he?

17:33 He's 42.

17:34 Drew How premature?

17:37 Very, like, maybe a minute or 30 seconds.

17:42 Adam And has he always been this way?

17:44 No, he hasn't. It's only been over the last three or four months.

17:48 Drew Have you guys been less frequent in your physical encounters?

17:51 Well, yeah, actually we are because he lives in Texas and I live in Colorado.

17:54 Drew Maybe he's just really happy to see you. No, guy, build up.

17:57 30 seconds.

17:58 Drew He's filled up.

17:59 Adam You think he could get her card.

18:00 Drew But you think he could also take care of himself a little bit. He's 42. You should understand how it is. Yeah, that's what I thought.

18:05 Adam You got to work that plumbing out. Where was he at before this time-wise?

18:09 Drew Literally, that's what you got to do. Otherwise, it's going to be one minute.

18:13 Adam Where was he at time-wise before this?

18:17 He would last a little longer. Well, at least 10 minutes.

18:20 Adam So he went from 10 minutes down to 30 seconds?

18:23 Well, yeah. Now I barely touch him for a little while and he ejaculates.

18:32 Drew Is this the only medication?

18:33 Adam It's got to be flattering.

18:34 Kathy Griffin See, when that happens to me, I just think I'm super hot.

18:36 Drew Yeah, it's the only medication.

18:37 Kathy Griffin I got it going on. I've got a stiff wind.

18:40 Adam Unless his eyes are closed.

18:41 Drew Yahoo had an article today about a doctor that stumbled on to an orgasm stimulator. He was trying to work in chronic pain. He was using the spinal stimulators and he was able to induce orgasm just through spinal.

18:53 Kathy Griffin He didn't even touch his joint?

18:55 Yeah, I did.

18:56 Kathy Griffin You, but all right, doctor.

18:59 Adam Beverly, yeah, why don't you? Does he look at it as a problem?

19:05 He does now because I told him it was a problem. Because now it's where I'm not even interested in having sex.

19:11 Drew Can't he be available for another round with you? As it were?

19:15 Would he be?

19:16 Drew You know what I'm saying?

19:16 Kathy Griffin Does he get hard again?

19:17 Well, like I said, at that point, it's just like forget it, I'm just going to go to bed.

19:23 Drew Got a little hostility here.

19:25 Kathy Griffin You guys don't like that, right?

19:26 After four months, it's like come on.

19:28 Adam Yeah, I understand. You know what's weird about women? They get angry at guys when they do this. I love the ones who fake the orgasm and are really angry that they have to fake and the guy has no idea what's going on. He's high-fiving his friend, she's loving every second of it and they're really super angry.

19:43 Kathy Griffin Because they think it's just a coincidence that she happened to have an orgasm the same time as him. They didn't question that at all. They're like, wow, that was, they're serendipitous.

19:51 Adam I never did.

19:52 Kathy Griffin Oh, good God.

19:53 Adam All right, Beverly. Listen, don't be angry at him. He's very much in love with you. And you need to just talk to him, tell him to spank it on the plane, like all guys do before they come into town to see their honeys.

20:07 Well, you know, he just went to see a doctor about this. He prescribes him Viagra. Isn't that strange?

20:13 Drew Well, that'll keep giving the erection will continue.

20:16 Adam Right.

20:17 Drew You see, the other way is give him Prozac.

20:18 Kathy Griffin She doesn't care.

20:19 Adam Beverly, he should be going down on you because that's when I start the clock.

20:24 Kathy Griffin Yeah.

20:25 Adam You know, it's like when a cab pulls up in front of your house, it's meters running.

20:28 Kathy Griffin Do you actually bring the timer into the bed with you?

20:30 Adam I should bring a cab meter with me.

20:33 Kathy Griffin All right.

20:33 Adam And I pull that old metal arrow thing down.

20:35 Kathy Griffin This is Said. He's the driver.

20:37 Adam Right.

20:37 Kathy Griffin He's just going to be idling for a while, but the meter is running.

20:40 Adam That's right. And in like New York, we have the recording of Eartha Kitt telling you to put on your and some guy going, how does it look like? Yeah, we have the static from the dispatcher going in the background. All right, listen Beverly, he's got to go down on you. Is he doing that? Um, no. Oh, would be forgiven if he did that, wouldn't it?

21:00 Um, probably. Yeah.

21:02 Adam Listen, let me say something, guys. You get down there in a clean house, god damn it. Because if you're coming in 30 seconds, it's the least you could do. As a woman, you'll forgive a guy who's having a little difficulty in that department.

21:16 Kathy Griffin He'll forgive volumes, really.

21:17 Adam If he gets down there.

21:18 Kathy Griffin And gets in the basement and starts cleaning out the furnace.

21:21 Adam All right. Absolutely. Yeah. You got to shovel a little coal before you go topside.

21:27 Kathy Griffin I like a nice chimney sweep. I could do this all night, Adam.

21:30 Adam Samantha, that's why we're very, very dear friends. We both have lots of euphemisms for oral sex. We're dear, dear friends.

21:38 Drew Samantha.

21:39 Adam Samantha, you're 19.

21:41 Caller Hello?

21:41 Adam What's up?

21:43 Caller I have little bumps on, I don't know the technical part would be called, but not the nipple itself, but the pink part around it.

21:51 Drew The areola. That's normal to have pronounced glands there.

21:57 Caller Okay. I was just, because when I first, I don't know, I guess when I first started to develop, they weren't there and then a couple of years ago, when I first saw them, if I put pressure on them, then stuff would come out like a pimple, but different consistency.

22:11 Drew I wonder if it's milk even, depending on where you're squeezing from.

22:14 Adam You mean those are those, that's the dots around the sunflower there?

22:19 Caller Yeah.

22:19 Adam I mean, something was coming out of those?

22:21 Caller Yeah. But it doesn't anymore, but they're still there.

22:24 Adam Sure, you milk them dry.

22:25 Drew I wonder if that was sebum or some sort of glandular.

22:28 Kathy Griffin Should she have an exam though?

22:29 Drew Yeah. Somebody should look at that.

22:30 Kathy Griffin Because when you have an exam, they always squeeze it like something like that.

22:33 Adam Oh, they do?

22:33 Drew Yeah.

22:34 Adam Nice.

22:34 Kathy Griffin They say a fluid comes out. No, I always, funny, I should check my doctor. What do they do? No, but they put you on the machine that crushes your boob and then whatever the physical exam part, they always give the nipple a little squeeze and they've said, well, nothing came out, so no problem. Like I think they're actually looking for some kind of fluid to come out maybe.

22:52 Drew It can have different meaning, yes, if you're on an auto medication.

22:55 Adam All right.

22:55 Kathy Griffin Have I just been getting molested at the doctor?

22:57 Drew That too.

22:58 Kathy Griffin Good God.

23:00 Adam You've been paying top dollar for that molestation. Hey, Samantha. Well, this sounds like a normal thing, these bumps, because I see them in all the nudie magazines and all the rage, but maybe you should get checked out anyway because you had something come out of yours.

23:14 Caller Well, I went to the gynecologist and they were there and I forgot to mention it, but she didn't say anything about it.

23:20 Drew Yeah, I'm sure it's normal. I'm sure.

23:21 Caller Okay.

23:22 Adam All right.

23:22 Caller Thank you.

23:23 Kathy Griffin Go get squeezed. Why not?

23:24 Adam Kathy, you go to a male or female gynecologist?

23:27 Kathy Griffin I've gone to both and my current guy is a male, but actually I don't like him because he's really old school. So he's one of those guys that's carrying on the conversation the whole time and, ah, how you doing? And he's also one of those guys that blows off anything. Like I could go in and say, you know, I'm hemorrhaging. And he's like, oh, who isn't? Anyway. And then he just carries on. He's not very good, but he's very friendly.

23:46 Adam The problem with the old school guys giving her and the vagina the lollipop at the end of the day. They never do that, do they?

23:54 Kathy Griffin No, not in the guy. No, no.

23:56 Adam I don't know. My thing is, is I want a crazy, like, I would like my wife to have an Asian woman. I look at them as the least sexual. You know what I mean? Like an Asian woman?

24:09 Kathy Griffin I thought that was every guy's dream.

24:10 Adam Well, it is, but not once they become a doctor.

24:13 Kathy Griffin Okay.

24:14 Adam This is when they're trying to support the family.

24:15 Kathy Griffin So what in the scrubs the sexuality is gone for? Right.

24:17 Adam Right.

24:17 Drew I could go for that. Yeah.

24:19 Adam All right. We'll take a little break tonight. We're honored to have a dear, dear friend. Kathy Griffin is here. She's talking about a new show on MTV Sunday night. It's 10 o'clock. We'll take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Mike dating a bisexual. Wants to know if she'd get involved sexually with this person. We'll tell him after this.

24:41 Caller We'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

24:45 Caller Tonight, Loveline is brought to you by Car Toys on 94.7 NRK. The New Rock Alternative.

25:21 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That'd be Dr. Drew over there, making a very special Loveline guest appearance. Dr. Drew, everyone, get those calls lined up. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. My dear, dear friend, Kathy Griffin is here tonight. Star of Kathy's so-called reality. Is that what it is? Yeah. That's pretty good. Good title. That is 10 o'clock Sunday night on MTV, but you can find it like most shows on MTV most of the time. Look around. I mean, evenings.

25:54 Kathy Griffin It's on like a 2 o'clock noon, 730 at night. They just slap it on several times a week.

25:59 Adam And I saw our...

26:02 Kathy Griffin My parents are on it, by the way. You're also your dear, dear friends.

26:04 Adam I spoke to Kathy's father. He's a dear friend of mine. Not dear, dear, because I only met him once. He's a dear friend of mine. I spoke to him at length about probably about construction.

26:16 Drew He'd be a friend of yours then.

26:18 Adam He's a friend. Well, he's a dear friend, because he's Kathy's father.

26:22 Kathy Griffin I think he'd appreciate at least one dear.

26:24 Adam He's a dear friend. I look forward to seeing him at the wedding.

26:28 Kathy Griffin Yes. He's giving me away.

26:31 Adam He's right in MTV's demo. He's a man in his early 70s. Right.

26:37 Kathy Griffin My dad, Mandy Moore, are taking the channel by storm. They're rewriting MTV.

26:41 Adam They're also a couple.

26:43 Kathy Griffin I celebrate it.

26:44 Adam Mike?

26:45 Yes.

26:45 Adam You're 17?

26:46 Caller Yeah. All right.

26:47 Adam What's up?

26:48 Caller All right. I got a girlfriend. She's my age. She's 17. And she's bisexual. She wrote me a note today talking about some really weird things that she wants me to do to her.

27:04 Drew What do you mean? You said you're girlfriend?

27:07 Caller Yeah.

27:07 Drew What does that mean?

27:08 Caller Like, you know, girlfriend, girlfriend.

27:11 Adam You guys are boyfriend and girlfriend, girlfriend.

27:15 Drew You're seeing each other exclusively?

27:16 Caller Yeah.

27:17 Drew And how long has that been going on?

27:18 Caller Well, it started off back in the seventh grade. And we went through the eighth grade. We broke up and we just started going out again.

27:26 Drew Just now.

27:27 How long ago?

27:29 Caller About a week and a half.

27:31 Drew See what I'm talking about here? In the meantime, she's discovered she's bisexual.

27:34 Caller Well, no, she's kind of claiming that she's always known.

27:40 Drew Yeah, but she's been doing things in the meantime. You've been with her a week. Who knows what she's up to or what she does. It's ridiculous.

27:45 Adam Well, what did the letter say?

27:51 I can't totally remember.

27:52 Caller I don't know where it is.

27:53 Adam Okay. Hey, Mike, quick radio tip. Don't bring the goddamn letter up if you can't remember anything that was in it.

27:59 Caller Well, it's saying stuff that she wants me to go down on her now.

28:04 Adam There you go.

28:05 Caller You know, like...

28:07 Adam All right. Hey, Mike, your jack-off friends are making too much noise back there, so we're gonna have to hang up on you, right?

28:14 Caller Okay.

28:14 Adam All right.

28:15 Drew That's your laugh?

28:16 Adam Oh my God. I'll tell you, I don't mind the gag phone calls. I enjoy them, but the fact that there's such spazzes is what gives me the trouble.

28:24 Kathy Griffin At least write the bogus letter and make it funny, entertain me.

28:28 Adam Right, and tell your buddies to keep it down while you're trying to pull off the bogus phone call.

28:35 Kathy Griffin Commit to the bit.

28:36 Adam Absolutely. All right, we'll talk to Evan, who's 13. Evan?

28:42 Caller Hello?

28:43 Hello?

28:46 Caller I don't want to know what Kathy Griffin's first stand-up joke was.

28:50 Drew Turn your radio down.

28:52 Huh?

28:53 Adam Well, it's a rough night tonight. You wonder why the champs are kicking our ass and all that testing. You know what I mean? We really have just a whole nation of cards at this point. They can't even pull off a call to a radio show.

29:05 Drew So, what was the first stand-up joke?

29:06 Kathy Griffin You know what? I actually remember the first joke I ever wrote. And it was, my boyfriend broke up with me a year ago and I can't stop thinking about him. In fact, I drive by his apartment all the time. No, I don't even drive by his apartment. I just drive by his parking lot. I don't know what it is. I just need to know if he still parks.

29:27 Adam And what year is it?

29:29 Kathy Griffin It's not funny.

29:30 Adam No, but it's art.

29:34 Kathy Griffin Well, I won't say the year, but I'll say I was probably like, I mean, I started stand up late. So I was probably like, you know, 28 or something like that when I wrote that joke.

29:41 Adam I was thinking about that when I was driving in and thinking about how much I hate standup. And I thought, yeah, Kathy was, you know, an actress and did improvisational work and all that kind of stuff. But you didn't get into standup.

29:54 Kathy Griffin I totally went about it backwards. You know, like I did my first commercial when I was 17 and you know, I did like little parts in movies and guest spots and all the stuff. And then after all that, I was like, oh, I think I like standup and I went about it all backwards.

30:08 Adam It's really like becoming a boxer in your late 20s. You know, I mean, it's just there's muscles you got to hone. Yeah, it's like taking up golf professionally or a musician. Right. I'm going to play the clarinet. I announced to the world that 30.

30:22 Kathy Griffin It's not fun to go on the road in your 30s. It's not what, it's not fun.

30:26 Adam It's hard to, it's hard to get good fast. I mean, I guess you're, you're in a way, it's like, you could act like a standup because of your acting experience.

30:37 Kathy Griffin Well, I don't know, all I know is for me, it actually really turned things around. You know, I was bumping around in the groundlings and bumping around doing little parts here and there. And sure enough, I, you know, started doing standup and even in really small venues, like when I used to do a hot cup of talk at the groundlings and stuff. And it was like that opened all the doors, you know. And I think it was that thing where you give the buyer something really simple on a plate and you hand it to them. And then they go, oh, OK, now I know what to do with you.

31:01 Adam Right. The plate was a metaphor, though, right? Trisha wasn't the guy's on a plate. Got it. Is that what? OK. Jonathan.

31:09 Yes.

31:10 Adam You're 17.

31:11 Caller Yes, I am.

31:11 How are you doing?

31:12 Adam Good. What's up with you?

31:14 Nothing much.

31:15 Adam All right. You give me the creeps. I got to be honest with you.

31:19 I'm just really nervous.

31:20 Drew All right. Go ahead.

31:21 Adam All right.

31:21 I want to say over a poem that I made for you guys.

31:26 Adam Thank you. We were talking about this last night, Drew. Someone called up, said he was a poet, although he couldn't recite anything.

31:32 Drew That's nice. But Jonathan's got something.

31:34 Adam Go ahead, Jonathan.

31:35 All right.

31:37 Loveline is filled with callers all the way up to the gilf. People call from inside their bedroom walls. Callers have questions that need to be answered by the swift and the bold. Most of all is that someone will listen. Thank God for Adam and Dr. Drew that will give them the breaking news. Callers call up complaining about the time they had in bed with a 12-year-old girl whose name was read. Others call in and explain their boyfriend's head. Some might ask why Adam doesn't pray this girl was dead since soon she'll be pregnant, then be dead because of the drug.

32:16 Adam We're really taking a turn here. Hey, Jonathan?

32:19 It'll get better.

32:20 Adam Yeah, let me ask you something real quick. Let's run that backtrack for a second before we get too far. What word rhymed with gilled?

32:26 Drew Gills.

32:27 Adam Gills, I mean?

32:28 With gill?

32:29 Adam Yeah.

32:29 Kathy Griffin I think it was head.

32:31 Adam Filled?

32:32 Drew Filled, yeah.

32:33 Filled. Filled gills.

32:35 Adam Oh, gills and filled.

32:36 Drew Yeah.

32:36 Adam Yeah, I don't know. Judges? No. Sorry, we're getting a thumbs down on the gills and filled.

32:42 Drew There's some consonants there, but.

32:43 Adam Right. All right, but go ahead. Keep going, Jonathan.

32:46 All right. Soon she'll be pregnant, then be dead because of the drug overdose she took to the head. Adam, Dr. Drew, the things you do to help people is the best thing anyone can do.

32:57 Adam That's what I like to do.

32:58 To help someone, whether young or old, stupid or smart, Adam has a remark for everyone right at the start. Not necessarily a bad one, but I mean a good one.

33:08 Adam If I hear Paige turn, I'm going to hang up.

33:11 No, that was good.

33:12 Adam Is that it? Thank you. That was beautiful. Give me the filled in the gills part one more time at the top.

33:20 Drew His name is Lord Byron.

33:22 Adam Sorry, Lord Byron. Yeah, right at the top there.

33:25 All right. Loveline is filled with colors all the way up to the gills. People call in from inside their bedroom wall, and that's the beginning.

33:34 Adam I see.

33:35 Drew Gills and wall.

33:35 Adam Gills and wall. All right. Hey, Jonathan. Yeah. Don't drop out of school. No. Whatever you do. I want you to turn in your beret and your bongo, because this poem thing, this poem thing is not going anywhere.

33:50 Drew Hey, 17. How old were you when you were 17?

33:52 Adam I'll tell you what I was doing, brother. I was checking off and napping. That's right.

33:57 Drew No, not what you're doing today. What were you doing at 17?

34:00 Adam That's why they call me Mr. Consistent.

34:03 All right.

34:03 Adam Hey, Jonathan.

34:04 Yeah.

34:04 Adam Thank you, buddy.

34:05 I wanted to ask. No, nothing, nothing better. I just want to know how I can help with, let's say people have problems or something that I can help.

34:17 Drew You know what? You might check out Teen Line. Do we have Teen Line's phone number, Sarah? Do we have Teen Line's phone number? We'll put you on hold. It's a Teen Counseling, through Cedar Sinai, it's a Teen Counseling phone line. You can train for, do peer counseling training and then man regulate. It's a really good program. Okay?

34:35 All right. Thank you very much. All right.

34:36 Adam Thanks, Jonathan.

34:37 All right.

34:38 Adam I can see him on like the suicide hotline. Hold on. I got a poem for you. Then a few beats later, you hear the gun go off. Oh, okay.

34:46 Drew Nice.

34:47 Adam All right.

34:48 Kathy Griffin Adam, you're fearless.

34:49 Adam No, I know.

34:49 I admire your fearlessness.

34:51 Adam I'm an artist.

34:52 Kathy Griffin Do you have someone walk into your car every night?

34:54 Drew That's what the security guards do out there.

34:56 Adam Yeah.

34:56 Kathy Griffin One? You better get the team.

34:58 Adam The fat guy in NAMP's on the sofa.

35:01 Kathy Griffin He's got your back, buddy.

35:02 Adam Yes. Got her back.

35:03 All right.

35:05 Adam He literally does have our back. It's just the problem is we have our front. All right. Let's say hi to Shannon, who's 20 years old. Shannon.

35:15 Hi.

35:15 Adam You're on with my dear, dear friend, Kathy Griffin.

35:18 I was just watching Suddenly Susan a few minutes ago too.

35:22 Kathy Griffin What a show.

35:25 Good evening. I've been dating this guy for about six months, and he was the first guy I ever slept with, and recently it's been really painful.

35:40 Drew Are you using a condom with him?

35:42 No, we stopped like two months ago.

35:46 Drew Does it hurt with deep penetration or just at the outset when he's trying to get in?

35:50 Just in general.

35:51 Drew It just always hurts.

35:52 Adam Why did you wait so long to lose your virginity?

35:57 I dated a guy before him for two and a half years who was a bit of a prude.

36:04 Kathy Griffin Who was a big queer?

36:06 No, he was a prude.

36:08 Adam Medium, medium queer. There's something up here. All right, I'll tell you what, Shannon, we got to take a break. We're going to strip you like a stolen Nissan when we come back. All right, because I think there's I think we could do a little mining here. Find something. All right, dear, dear friend, Kathy Griffin is here tonight. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back with Shannon after this.

36:30 Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

36:33 Caller We'll be right back.

36:35 Caller Yeah, you're listening to that Loveline show with Adam and Dr. Corolla right here on 94.7 NRK, The New Rock Alternative.

37:09 Adam I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. This is my dear friend, Kathy Griffin. I've dropped the deer because she's giving me surus during the commercial break.

37:16 Kathy Griffin I just can't even believe what you just said to me. You said, and I quote, I need a basketball hoop.

37:23 Adam That's right.

37:24 Kathy Griffin Now you want one. A court. I need.

37:27 Adam I need a wood shop.

37:29 Kathy Griffin What will happen to you if you don't have a basketball court? Do you think you'll die?

37:33 Adam A slow death.

37:33 Kathy Griffin You think you might actually die from lack of basketball court?

37:38 Adam It's not guaranteed, but it's probable.

37:39 Kathy Griffin Do you have a Sega PlayStation?

37:41 Adam No, I don't play video games.

37:42 Kathy Griffin Really?

37:44 Adam Never have.

37:44 Drew Pinball machines with the Playboy button and stuff on those pinball machines.

37:48 Adam Never have. No, I'm not a game guy. That's to entertain others. That was a present.

37:52 Kathy Griffin How many big screen TVs do you have?

37:54 Adam I have one that is like 10 foot.

37:56 Kathy Griffin Not with the stadium seating, I hope.

37:58 Adam No, it's good, though.

38:02 Drew You could handle that.

38:04 Yeah.

38:05 Adam Yeah, I need.

38:06 Drew He might put that in something.

38:07 Kathy Griffin You know what I need?

38:08 Adam What?

38:08 Kathy Griffin I need food. I need a roof over my head.

38:11 Adam Right.

38:11 Kathy Griffin I need love.

38:12 Adam You need a pedicure three times a week.

38:15 Drew Adam needs a viking stove. It's a viking stove, outdoor barbecue, a full basketball court, a pool, a barn size.

38:23 Kathy Griffin When are you going to write a tell-all book called What Adam Needs? There is your preface right there.

38:28 Adam Listen, Drew makes fun of me, but he's kissing my ass pretty good because he's got a little woodworking to do for the kiddies this weekend.

38:35 Kathy Griffin Now, do you do the actual woodland?

38:38 Drew No, they want to do it.

38:38 Adam That's what I'm going to be doing.

38:40 Kathy Griffin You're like teaching Drew's kids a mini workshop?

38:43 Adam Yeah. Let me give you a little slice of how that's going to go. Give me that. Give me that Pinewood. OK, grab me a beer, kiddies. Go in there, watch TV. Let me get this on the bandsaw.

38:54 Drew Yeah, Jordan wants to make a train out of one of them.

38:56 Adam Really?

38:57 Kathy Griffin See, there's the show right there. I don't know about the show you got going on with your buddy over there, but that is the show. There's a camera looking at what goes on the dark side, what goes on? You crying with a beer alone at the basketball court, calling Drew and Drew's screening and the kids are crying. There's the show.

39:14 Adam Yeah, and then we all hold each other.

39:15 Kathy Griffin Yes. Let's go to the sweat lodge.

39:18 Adam I did build a sweat lodge. Shannon? All right, so you're 20 and you're a painful sex. You just lost your virginity six months ago.

39:28 Drew With the guy you're nobler with? You're still with the guy. Still with the guy. Yeah.

39:32 Adam I'm going to float a theory here, everyone. The reason she waited a long time to lose a virginity, I know she said she was with a prude guy, but I think she's a little tight and I think she's tightening up a little with this guy and making things uncomfortable for herself.

39:45 Kathy Griffin Wait, what was the word?

39:46 Drew Vaginismus.

39:47 Kathy Griffin Vaginismus?

39:47 Drew Spasm of the vaginal pelvic muscles.

39:49 Adam It's also Jewish holiday.

39:51 Drew Is that happening? That usually gets pain with penetration, though. Is that part of the deal, Shannon?

39:57 Well, after the first couple of times, it totally didn't hurt at all up until recently.

40:05 Drew I understand, but do you think that the muscular spasm is part of it? Is the pain worse at penetration?

40:12 Yeah, it is a little.

40:15 Adam Did he put any weight on his penis?

40:17 Drew It also could be an infection, right? You stopped using a condom.

40:21 Yeah, but I just went to the gynecologist like two weeks ago.

40:24 Drew Did you tell them about the pain?

40:26 No, but he didn't find anything wrong.

40:28 Kathy Griffin That's the second girl that went to the gynecologist and didn't tell them about the problem she was having.

40:32 Drew Yeah, in order to sort of look...

40:34 Kathy Griffin She's like, that's too private.

40:36 Drew It affects the way we examine people if we have symptoms to sort of investigate.

40:40 Can this kind of thing be psychosomatic?

40:43 Drew Oh yeah, that's what Adam's building.

40:44 Adam Now we're getting somewhere.

40:46 Kathy Griffin What about the goop? Can she use the goop?

40:49 Drew I beg your pardon?

40:50 Kathy Griffin What about the KY, the goopy, all that?

40:53 Drew I don't think this is a dryness issue. This is a muscle spasm issue.

40:57 Adam Shannon, what do we need to know about you and your vagina? What do we need to name my next show? You and your vagina.

41:07 That's a very broad question.

41:08 What do you want?

41:09 Drew Did somebody attack it at one time?

41:11 Kathy Griffin Yeah, what bad happened to it?

41:12 Oh, nothing. Nobody attacked me or anything. I think it might have more to do with how he's been acting around me.

41:25 Drew Which is what?

41:27 I think, I don't know. I just have this weird feeling that he's just sticking around for the sex now.

41:32 Drew Well, you know what? Your body will not lie. Women's bodies do not lie. They tell you something. And if the intimacy is having problems, if he's not involved the way you need him to be, if your feelings are sort of diminishing about the guy, your hinterlands, your counterparts will let you know.

41:48 Adam Hey, but Shannon, no abuse, no physical abuse before this? What about dad? Good guy?

41:56 I love him.

41:56 Adam You love him?

41:57 Yeah.

41:58 Adam Okay. You don't love him too much. How about mom? What's up with the mom?

42:02 I have the world's greatest mom.

42:03 Adam Uh-oh.

42:03 Kathy Griffin Oh, boy.

42:04 Adam That's always trouble.

42:05 Kathy Griffin Deifies the parents.

42:06 Adam Eating disorder?

42:07 Kathy Griffin No.

42:08 Adam No? No. World's greatest mom? Yep.

42:11 Kathy Griffin All right. All right.

42:13 Drew But I think the guy, I think your body is telling you something about the guy and the relationship. Just listen to your body.

42:18 Adam All right. We will hop on to our next call and speak to Joe 26. Joe.

42:25 Hello.

42:26 Adam Hello, Joe.

42:27 Caller Can you hear me all right?

42:28 Adam Yes.

42:29 Caller All right. Nice to meet you, Adam.

42:31 Adam Nice to meet you, Joe.

42:33 Caller And Dr. Drew, you're in tonight, correct?

42:36 Kathy Griffin Oh, boy.

42:36 Drew Thanks, Joe.

42:37 Adam Yes.

42:38 Drew Everyone's getting in the act. Let's go. Joe, what's the question?

42:42 Caller All right. My question. Currently, I work, married, have a eight month old daughter, and it's just a single family income. I work evenings, let my wife decide on whether or not she Joe, what's your question? Well, the question is, if I work and if my wife wants to work during the day while I work at night, you know, what what can I do to keep the home fires burning? And if I'm not going to see her five days a week or should I even attempt to do this? We live comfortably on my income.

43:15 Adam But well, why does she want to work then?

43:17 Caller Because she stays home and takes care of our daughter. And that was her decision. But she wants to, I guess, get out of the house more or less.

43:26 Drew Five days a week or just part time or just part time, part time, do something.

43:30 Caller Yeah.

43:30 Drew So why is the part she's not going to be gone all the time. What's wrong with that? You take care of the kid.

43:36 Caller Well, you see, I'll show get up in the morning and go to work. I'll take care of our daughter. She'll come home from work and then I'll leave for my job right away.

43:42 Drew That's not part time, is it?

43:45 Caller My job's full time. Hers would have to be part time.

43:48 Adam I know, but the fact that she left in the morning and came home in the evening when you left for your job is not a part time job on her behalf. That's full time.

43:58 Drew What's the problem if she wants to work half day that shouldn't get in the way of your relationship?

44:02 Adam Our callers confuse themselves with their own language. That's the funny part. If she's working part time, she'll get up and leave in the morning and come home at noon or one and you'll have some quality afternoon delight time.

44:15 Drew Or she'll work the full day a couple days a week.

44:18 Adam Right.

44:19 Caller Well, no, she would leave five days a week.

44:22 Drew That's not part time.

44:24 Caller Okay. I understand. Well, anyway, if I don't see her five days a week, is that a good idea if we're comfortable now or you know what?

44:32 Drew There's some actually just obviously not. But there's actually some interesting data out there that that that apparently because of the child care cost and the added demands of taxes and extra fuel and car and phone that most couples when both work actually are less financially off well off than if just one does.

44:52 Adam Right.

44:53 Drew It sounds like she's itching to get get out of the house sometimes she should get out and do something she wants to do. But maybe I think of it in terms of full time commitment.

45:00 Adam Yeah.

45:00 Drew Yeah.

45:01 Adam And he's first off. I think you can take a two year relationship and stretch it out into a 15 year relationship if you never see each other. That's my angle, by the way.

45:10 Drew So that's good for all.

45:11 Adam This ain't going to hurt the relationship. This is going to help it.

45:15 Drew Kathy is recommending something to you.

45:16 Adam You know what I mean? It's like you got a good friend and then you become roommates and it lasts for four months and you're tearing each other's throats out.

45:22 Kathy Griffin I'm not with you on this at all. You don't face me or even address me.

45:25 Adam I thought you'd be down.

45:26 Kathy Griffin I like time together because we're dear, dear friends. I think the guy does not want her gone. I think he feels I'm earning the money, I'm working nights which is tough, I want you there.

45:39 Adam Yes. Here's what I feel is happening too. Joe is not the world's best listener and he does not have good instincts when it comes to the ways of ladies. And she's telling him something. She's trying to send him a message which is I'm unhappy. And he's distilling it all down to the job. And for her, it's an umbrella that's going over the whole relationship.

46:01 Drew She's also building a case. Well, I called Loveline and they said it wouldn't be good for our relationship. You're not happy, you're going to make it worse.

46:07 Adam Joe, listen to your wife. She's dissatisfied in some way, probably more than just the work issue. And you need to listen to it before it blows up into something bigger. All right, we'll take ourselves a little break. My dear, dear friend, Kathy Griffin is here tonight. She is the star of her own show which is on MTV. Kathy's so-called reality, 10 o'clock and really all times on MTV. And hopefully to be seen on TalkSoup soon.

46:37 Kathy Griffin Keep your fingers crossed.

46:38 Adam All right, we'll take a break. We'll be back.

46:55 Caller Don't even think about touching that dial. Love Line will be right back on the new rock alternative. Where's that voice guy at?

47:05 Caller It's Love Line.

47:07 Caller I have a problem.

47:13 Adam Me? Love Line. I'm Adam Carolla. That'd be Dr. Drew over there, everybody. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Kathy Griffin is our guest tonight. You can find her on MTV Sunday nights at 10 and just about all nights at all times on MTV. Kathy's So-Called Life is, I'm sorry, Reality. It was another show. My tongue got going in that direction.

47:36 Kathy Griffin I'm not coming of age in this show at all. I'm just dishing the reality shows.

47:39 Adam That's right. And you do Temptation Island.

47:44 Kathy Griffin Survivor, The Mole.

47:45 Adam Big Brother.

47:46 Drew You do Big Brother?

47:48 Adam No.

47:48 Kathy Griffin Believe me, I did Big Brother.

47:49 Adam Just the good ones.

47:50 Drew Love You, Old Big Brother. It's coming back.

47:53 Kathy Griffin That is unbelievable to me. I did find it compelling. I thought it was so bad and the people were so boring and stupid that I couldn't, I had to tune in to go, what are they going to do now?

48:03 Drew Women, I would talk to them and they'd go, oh, there's just so much going on in the house.

48:07 Kathy Griffin Men would be like, what is going on? We were talking about narcissism. They, and Big Brother, it amazed me how they really, they sat around endlessly talking about themselves. They, not one person ever said, it's driving me crazy that I don't have a newspaper. It is killing that I don't know what's going on in the world.

48:22 Drew They may have been saying that you just didn't get to see that.

48:24 Kathy Griffin Well, it was on the webcast, you know.

48:26 Drew You were sat there watching, huh?

48:27 Kathy Griffin But yeah, there's a lot of sitting around on the couch going like this. What you don't know about me, because you don't know me that well yet, is I'm a really honest person. So I'm the type of person that has to be honest and real. And they would just all say that, reiterate that all the time. No one would say, who'd you vote for? What's your favorite book? Let's break down our 10 favorite books and discuss them. Oh no, it was, you know what I hate? I hate boys that are gross. Me too. Don't you hate that?

48:56 Adam I will bet you, I will bet you that 70% of the people in that house thought the Unabomber was still at large when they went in the house.

49:04 Kathy Griffin The scary thing is 90% of the people in that house thought that they were all going to be as famous as, you know, Richard Hatch or the Survivors. That was always a little sad when they would be sitting around going, I don't know if I should do Playboy or not. And you're going, Playboy is not going to call.

49:17 Adam Right. Yeah. You may get a call from Screw or Swang.

49:21 Kathy Griffin Maybe jugs.

49:22 Adam Big black jugs.

49:24 Kathy Griffin Do they have a big black jugs now? The jugs empire has spread out.

49:28 Adam I was a subscription to Black Tail was gotten for me for Christmas. So there's at least Black Tail. OK. And let me tell you something. Black Tail. Black Tail in there delivers. Not one of those ambiguous titles. It it delivers. It's if you're in a black tail, Black Tail is your magazine. All right. Oh, OK, Drew, I'm here. Let's talk to Jim, who's 28. Jim.

49:55 Kathy Griffin Yes.

49:56 Adam What's up?

49:57 Kathy Griffin Kathy, when you're I caught a piece of your show the other night, and I think you're very witty and you're really good.

50:02 Kathy Griffin Thank you.

50:02 Kathy Griffin But I disagree with the comment you made about like the kind of gayish guy that was doing the fake throw up when the girl was trying to eat the worm.

50:10 Kathy Griffin Mean Gay Jeff from Survivor.

50:12 Kathy Griffin Yeah. Okay. Mean Gay. That makes a little sense. You said that you admired him, started to love him a little bit for that.

50:19 Kathy Griffin It was really, it was sometimes I have to love evil. It was because this Survivor, they're so mean. On the first Survivor, they at least tried to be friends for the first, like, you know, half a month or whatever. On this one, they're just vicious out the gate.

50:31 Kathy Griffin But it's such a big deal about winning the challenges. So if I was the army guy, I would have knew that that ended my day. I would have went over and beat Gage up the ass.

50:41 Drew One suing or something? What's all about?

50:43 Kathy Griffin Oh, well, that's from the old one. Well, first of all, the challenge he's talking about is they had to eat like these disgusting things, you know, like eat a bug type of thing. So while one team member was trying to eat the bug and look like she might heave, a guy on the other team looked at her and started dry heaving, which just cracked me.

50:57 Kathy Griffin I think, yeah.

50:58 Drew You know, my son does that. My daughter throws up if she throws up.

51:00 Adam That's a strategy.

51:03 Kathy Griffin No, he wasn't really throwing up. He wasn't doing sympathy puke. He was trying to mess with her.

51:07 Kathy Griffin Yeah, and it worked and they won the challenge.

51:10 Kathy Griffin I'm just saying, I'm not saying, I wouldn't think it was funny if it was me that someone was doing that to. I'm just saying, I'm sorry, it made me laugh.

51:17 Adam He was doing what Bill Paxton was doing to Anthony Michael Hall in Weird Science when he came home. He never saw this movie, but maybe can again. When he came home loaded after drinking at the blues bar I'm laughing already. And started to talk about putting that big greasy cigarette in that ashtray and simulating the heave. That's a guy maneuver. It's not a gay guy maneuver, but it's a guy maneuver. That's a good move.

51:44 Kathy Griffin No, I didn't think it was inherently gay.

51:46 Kathy Griffin It was just wrong.

51:48 Kathy Griffin Yeah, it was wrong.

51:48 Kathy Griffin But Adam, I got a How Dare You for you.

51:50 Adam Yes.

51:51 Kathy Griffin How dare you watch that Temptation Island when a very good West Wing is on against it.

51:56 Drew West Wing.

51:57 Kathy Griffin Oh, Replay TV, I see them both.

51:59 Kathy Griffin I'm sorry?

52:00 Kathy Griffin Replay, Replay TV. TiVo, I see them both.

52:03 Drew TiVo, I see you.

52:04 Kathy Griffin Now, what's Adam doing?

52:05 Drew He has a TiVo.

52:06 Adam Yeah, it's not hooked up.

52:08 Drew What?

52:09 Adam It's hooked up at the Party House, so you'll be glad to know. I don't watch West Wing. I don't watch any dramas really.

52:17 Kathy Griffin Oh, I love the West Wing.

52:19 Adam I know it's a good show.

52:20 Kathy Griffin I love the music. I love when the music swells and the flag goes by. I'm in a puddle of my own tears. It's my version of your Party House.

52:28 Adam Is that Rob Lowe in there?

52:30 Kathy Griffin Yeah, Rob Lowe withstanding.

52:33 Adam Yeah, I never watch it. Benji?

52:36 Yeah?

52:36 Adam You're 21. What's up?

52:39 Caller First, I just want to say hi to my friends.

52:41 Drew Benji, what's your question?

52:42 Adam All right, listen. You're not getting a Golden Globe. You're on the radio.

52:45 Kathy Griffin Does he want to give a what up to Brooklyn?

52:47 Drew What's up, Benji?

52:48 Kathy Griffin Oh, God.

52:51 Drew I don't know if I believe what he's saying.

52:53 Caller I don't know, but I've been riding my bike, you know. I do like BMX jumps and stuff. Right. So one time I went off like this really high jump. I was like paid 10 bucks to do it or something. All right.

53:05 Adam As long as you're well compensated.

53:07 Caller So in that case, I land and then I really, really hurt my balls, you know? And so I go home and I like look at them. They're all like swollen and stuff.

53:19 Drew Wouldn't that be the time to go to the emergency room?

53:21 Well, that's what you told Jeb.

53:23 Adam Yeah. See, I don't believe him because...

53:26 Who's Jeb?

53:27 Drew I don't know, but it's some bogus nonsense.

53:29 Adam Jeb you in your ass or something. Here's the reason why there's a bogus call. It struck me when he said, so I hit my nuts. So then I went home and I looked at them.

53:41 Caller Yeah.

53:42 Kathy Griffin And also because someone gave me 10 bucks or something.

53:46 Caller Yeah.

53:46 Kathy Griffin You know the figure.

53:48 Adam Listen all you jackoffs who call this show and do your bogus calls. I don't mind bogus calls. Just put some effort into it, please. Do you know what I mean? Don't be confused when we call on you.

53:59 Kathy Griffin How many more bruised balls do we have to hear about before they're real?

54:02 Adam Rose?

54:03 Yes.

54:04 Adam You're 21. What's up?

54:05 Caller Yeah. My father actually molested my half-sister since she was, I'd say about four and she was 22. Wow. Yeah.

54:16 Adam But it wasn't his daughter?

54:18 Caller No. That's my half-sister.

54:21 Adam Okay. Four to 22.

54:23 Caller Yeah.

54:25 Adam That's a run.

54:26 Drew Now, this is your biological father. My biological father, yes. It was and mother?

54:33 Adam And mother, yeah. How did he treat you?

54:37 Caller Very good. Never done anything to me. Isn't that interesting? Never touched me.

54:40 Adam And when did you find out about this?

54:43 Caller I was 18, I do believe, 17 was my senior year. And my sister told me and she didn't tell my parents for a while. Actually, she moved away.

54:53 Drew What do you mean she told your mom?

54:55 Caller My mom, yeah. And she moved away actually to the Netherlands. I think she was running from it all. And she told my mother over the computer. And it all came out and I was the only one home to deal with it and everything. But my question basically is, through therapy, can he change? Can he change as a person or should I fear when I have kids to take him over there?

55:17 Kathy Griffin Absolutely.

55:17 Drew Yes. Absolutely. We are very afraid. But he can be contained and he can change, but he is a risky person to be around.

55:24 Caller That's rare though, right?

55:26 Drew They have to want to change a lot and they have to be highly supervised.

55:29 Kathy Griffin And all those therapies are very experimental, are they not? What do you mean by those therapies? I heard about these molester rehab places basically where they show you images, they shock you and stuff like that, right?

55:41 Drew It depends on what this, maybe he is a sex addict, maybe there are other addictions involved, those things can be treated. There are things that can be treated here.

55:48 Caller Yeah, he was molested as a child. Oh boy. Through everything.

55:51 Drew That's sort of what puts him in that category. Right. I would not, why have kids, why put kids at risk? Why would you want kids around that?

55:59 Kathy Griffin But also wouldn't you say that even her has sisters, kids might be at risk because.

56:03 Drew All kids.

56:05 Kathy Griffin No, no, what I mean is my fear is that as a molestation victim, she's going to find a guy who possibly is a sort of sexual pathology.

56:13 Drew Absolutely won't.

56:14 Caller Yeah. She's married now and actually she's married to a great guy.

56:17 Drew Guess what? He's suspect.

56:19 Caller Yeah.

56:20 Drew Because he's married to her.

56:21 Caller Yeah. But I don't know.

56:23 Adam Do they have kids?

56:25 Caller No, they don't.

56:25 Caller She don't want kids.

56:27 Caller All right.

56:27 Adam Well, that's nice. I mean that. Your father, is he in therapy now?

56:33 Caller Yes, actually he is.

56:35 In the penitentiary? How old is he?

56:37 Caller He is 50.

56:39 Adam Did he do any time? Was he punished?

56:41 Caller No. She didn't press any charges against him or anything.

56:44 Adam I see. What about your mom or his mom?

56:47 Caller They're still married.

56:49 Adam Yes, they stayed together.

56:50 Kathy Griffin That's bad news. My mom knows that she stayed with him?

56:53 Caller My mom knows, yes.

56:54 Drew Was your mom molested?

56:57 Caller Not that I am aware of, not that she shared with me.

57:00 Adam That's her daughter, right?

57:01 Caller Yes, her daughter.

57:03 Kathy Griffin He was the guy.

57:04 What a betrayal.

57:05 Adam She must have known something was going on for the 18 years.

57:09 Caller Well, my sister actually, when she was, I would say about 13, 14, she did come out. She ran away and when she came back, she told my parents and she says my mom told her to say that was all a lie. I don't know. I was there, but I was too young to even realize.

57:29 Adam She came back at 14 and this continued for another eight years?

57:32 Caller Yeah.

57:33 Adam Wow.

57:33 Drew All right.

57:34 Adam Your mom is very suspect here.

57:36 Drew She's disturbed. Okay.

57:40 Adam Yes, your mom has a lot of copability here.

57:43 Kathy Griffin Yeah.

57:44 Adam All right. Okay. Can you change your name?

57:46 Kathy Griffin But on the other hand, I don't want her to do that thing sometimes. It seems like molestation victims, they almost are so afraid to admit the dad did anything wrong, but they almost deify the dad. Oh, yes. I don't want this girl to shift to blame everything on mom.

58:00 Drew Yeah.

58:00 Kathy Griffin I'm just saying, let's not forget who the-

58:02 Drew She's not the molestation victim, though.

58:04 Kathy Griffin No, but what I'm saying is I wonder why she, I wouldn't even have a relationship with the dad.

58:09 Caller Well, she doesn't.

58:10 Drew The sister doesn't.

58:11 Caller She moved to the Netherlands.

58:12 Kathy Griffin But this sister knows. What's it like when she goes over for Christmas dinner and she has all this information about 18 years of molestation? I'm just saying, yes, the mother is absolutely culpable, but let's not go, oh, it's easier to blame mom, because then I never really have to deal with dad.

58:28 Drew There's got to be a lot of un-

58:29 Kathy Griffin You got to deal with both.

58:30 Drew Undealt with feelings there.

58:32 Adam Dad deserves to be executed. Mom deserves to be cobbled.

58:35 Drew Yeah.

58:36 Adam That's the reality of it. I'm sorry this had to happen to you, Rose, and I would not bring the kids over there, even if it's just for punishment. I think it hurts me for Rose to really get into this.

58:50 Drew She lived a sort of fancy, a liar whole life, and so easy to first slip into that denial, well, things are just the way they've always been. They're okay. Dad's in therapy.

58:59 Kathy Griffin Yeah.

58:59 Drew It's tough.

59:00 Adam Well, only went on 18 years, so maybe.

59:03 Kathy Griffin I also am suspicious that the dad only molested the sister.

59:06 I wonder if there was-

59:08 Drew Often, there's a picked child.

59:10 Kathy Griffin I see. So, you don't think there was a cousin that maybe fell victim or a friend?

59:13 Drew They may have been on this long away.

59:15 Adam It's usually one. For Drew, it's Jordan, I think.

59:21 Kathy Griffin You know what? Maybe that flies at the party house, but not here. I'm sorry. You leave that for the basketball court.

59:26 Adam The potty mouth flies at the party house. All right. Nicole?

59:29 Hi.

59:30 Adam You're 15. What's going on?

59:32 Dr. Drew, I saw you in the WB Morning News on Monday.

59:36 Drew Oh, on Monday. Oh, in New York. Yeah. That was fun. That's a great little show.

59:43 Basically, I cut myself and I stopped doing it like a couple of weeks ago because my friend found out. Then I pierced my eyebrow. Now, I've been kind of pulling my hair out, like in the back of the hair.

59:58 Drew It's all kind of a self-mutilation compulsion, right? Yeah. You got to get talked to somebody about this because you could inadvertently hurt yourself, right?

1:00:07 Yeah. I hold my shrink and I don't know, she's more crazy than I am.

1:00:11 Drew Well, did she want to put you on some medication? That may be by the way.

1:00:14 No. She said like, she's like, oh, why do you think you're doing this and all this? I don't know. And then, what do you call it? Before her, I was on bus car for anxiety attacks.

1:00:23 Drew Yeah.

1:00:24 And she said I was too young to be having them and she took me off of them.

1:00:28 Drew So, she's able to prescri- And that caretaker is able to prescribe medication to you? What? She's able to prescribe medication?

1:00:38 Yeah, but she took me off of them.

1:00:39 Drew Let me just clarify. She didn't just tell you to stop. She can either start or stop medication.

1:00:44 Adam She's a psychiatrist.

1:00:45 Drew She's a psychiatrist. She needs to get you on some medicine. Really, honestly, there's very good medicine for this kind of behavior.

1:00:52 Adam What about finding a new one?

1:00:53 Drew Yeah.

1:00:54 That's what I'm trying to do now. Yeah.

1:00:55 Drew That'd be good.

1:00:56 I told my mother and she took me off. She got me away from her and now she didn't get me another shrink.

1:01:01 Drew The hair pulling is called trichotelomania, and that's a compulsive behavior. It can sometimes be just isolated, but usually it's in going on with other stuff. In your case, the cutting is the more serious manifestation of these self-mutilatory.

1:01:12 Adam I have that just with ass hair.

1:01:15 Kathy Griffin Now, what is that drug? I've never heard of that drug.

1:01:18 Adam Yeah.

1:01:20 Kathy Griffin What does that drug do?

1:01:20 Adam To get the TV remote out of that.

1:01:22 Drew It's for anxiety attack.

1:01:23 Kathy Griffin Is that an MAO inhibitor?

1:01:24 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's a very mild medication. It's a 5-HT2A post-synaptic.

1:01:32 Kathy Griffin Did that behavior stop when you were on that medicine?

1:01:35 Yeah.

1:01:36 Drew No, the panic stop on the bus bar.

1:01:38 Kathy Griffin Yeah.

1:01:38 Not the cutting.

1:01:39 Kathy Griffin Then what's going to help her with the mutilation?

1:01:41 Drew It remains to be seen. It depends what other else things are going on here. She may need some antipsychotic medication, agitation.

1:01:48 My mom knows how to do it and she doesn't even care.

1:01:51 Drew They're good medicines. Actually Prozac is very good for trichotillomania. Very good.

1:01:55 Kathy Griffin She also thinks she has a mom who doesn't care.

1:01:57 They don't care.

1:01:59 Adam Well, listen, were you abused?

1:02:01 Yeah.

1:02:03 Adam Your mom does care because she wants you in therapy and she's trying to get involved with that, but I'm sure you're angry at her.

1:02:09 My mom is a pothead who never cared about me. My father is an alcoholic cokehead and for nine years, my mother broke up with my father when I was three years old and she was dating a crackhead.

1:02:20 Drew Nicole, why don't you check out some Al-Anon? Nicole?

1:02:24 Kathy Griffin Yeah, that would be good.

1:02:25 Drew Maybe Al-Anon would help you get some support for having to deal with all these addicts in your life and then also get a psychiatrist that you feel connected to and see if you can get some pharmacotherapy, some medication going that will help with these behaviors because these are dangerous behaviors.

1:02:39 Adam She's mad at her folks too.

1:02:41 Caller And good.

1:02:42 Adam Listen, that's very healthy. I've said it a million times. My dad missed a couple of Pop Warner football games. He's still on my ass list. I've not let him off that. That's fine. I mean, your mom molested you, your stepdad molested you, your mom was smoking crack. Fine. Be angry at him. Seems like mom is sobered up and trying to get her some help though and is trying to make amends.

1:03:04 Drew She's pissed. She's right.

1:03:06 Kathy Griffin She's got a few more years. Who knows? Maybe it was a teacher that took her side though and said you need help. I mean, we don't know the mom.

1:03:10 Drew But sometimes forgiveness helps. You know, the resentment will heat you up.

1:03:15 Adam Susan?

1:03:16 Yes. Hi.

1:03:17 Adam Year 23?

1:03:18 Yes, I am.

1:03:19 Adam What's up?

1:03:19 Okay. I met a guy who was really nice and thinking, wow, this is like all the criteria for a good guy. And we're in the bedroom one night and he says, can I be your baby?

1:03:29 Kathy Griffin Oh, great.

1:03:30 What do you mean? So then he wants to be literally my baby from breastfeeding to pulling out a diaper out of his closet and wearing it. And then later, a few days later, going to the bathroom in a diaper and having me change him with the baby powder.

1:03:45 Adam If Kathy had a quarter for every guy who pulled that.

1:03:49 Kathy Griffin Honey, I got an account at Huggies.

1:03:51 Wait, there's more. Of course, you got to have a bottle, right? So.

1:03:54 Adam Sure.

1:03:55 Drew But I really like the breastfeeding.

1:03:57 Adam Well, yeah, what's not to like?

1:03:59 But I don't like.

1:03:59 Drew He's a keeper.

1:04:00 I'm afraid of what the outcome is going to be on the relationship that this ends up to be a serious long-term relationship.

1:04:06 Adam Yeah, you'll get married to him and then you'll be a single mother of one. How old's your baby? He's 28.

1:04:15 Early 30s.

1:04:16 Adam Trying to get him on the toilet.

1:04:17 Kathy Griffin Early 30s.

1:04:18 Adam Nice.

1:04:20 He said that he really likes this as a comfort thing. He's never introduced it to anybody before except one time as a role playing kind of thing. Right.

1:04:28 Adam Where do you find the pictures? Yeah, I know.

1:04:31 Drew Things don't exist in a vacuum.

1:04:33 Adam That is exactly what I was thinking. And it's too bad they don't. But here's the deal and everyone, this is exactly how you should think. It's like the person's a great guy. He's smart. He's funny. He's witty. He killed a guy, but he's great. But you see that one thing, that's a deal breaker. That trumps all the other good qualities.

1:04:54 Drew Because the other ones aren't real.

1:04:55 Adam Right. Those are a façade so that he can unveil the real quality, which is baby Huey. A guy in his 30s really should be called baby Huey. He's goddamn lucky I don't work with this guy because it would be relentless once I found out about this. Roundly abused. Oh my God. Paging Huey, Huey, come to the phone. Now, so you need to hold this against him. It doesn't mean you have to break up immediately.

1:05:24 Kathy Griffin Oh come on.

1:05:25 Adam Well, she can talk to him and go listen, this weird, this weirds me out and...

1:05:34 Kathy Griffin The sex is going to be really hot.

1:05:36 Adam I know. With all that poo and diaper. I know, she's never going to be able to talk about this. Yeah, all right.

1:05:42 Kathy Griffin Wow.

1:05:43 Adam All right, yeah, all right.

1:05:45 Kathy Griffin I don't even know where to...

1:05:47 Adam No, so deal breaker.

1:05:48 Drew Just be more realistic about who this guy is. Start looking around, start fishing around.

1:05:52 Adam Let me ask her something. Susan?

1:05:54 Okay.

1:05:55 Adam What's up with you that you're caught up with this guy?

1:06:01 I just finally met someone who had his act together and then just...

1:06:04 Adam What's up with you?

1:06:05 Drew Yeah, what does that mean finally? What's been happening in the past?

1:06:08 I just, I meet a guy that I'm not 100% crazy with and I stay with him.

1:06:13 Adam Yeah.

1:06:13 You know, I'm kind of not liking him, but then it'll end up for a couple months to a year or whatever.

1:06:17 Kathy Griffin So she's got a high ceiling of tolerance.

1:06:19 Drew No, no, why a low esteem? Why do you accept these guys you're not even into?

1:06:26 I think I do need companionship. That's my deal.

1:06:28 Drew Why do you still feel so crappy by yourself that you would accept guys for a long period of time that you're not really interested in?

1:06:34 Well, I'm successful in my career and things like that and I'm proud of myself and I'm happy, dah, dah, dah, dah. But I don't know, I can't identify why I would have a low self-esteem.

1:06:42 Adam We're not buying all that. They have somethings up.

1:06:46 Drew The career and stuff is not compensating, it's not feeding you properly, not helping you feel better about yourself, even though you think it should, it isn't.

1:06:55 Okay.

1:06:56 Drew Okay. Well, if you're that out of touch with your families that I can't suggest things and you can tell me whether it is or it isn't, that's already saying something right there. But I suspect.

1:07:04 We all have issues that stem back to our childhood and I could say, well, yeah, my father was an addict at one point and we don't have a relationship now so we can link it.

1:07:12 Drew Hey, guess what, Susan? Most people don't have that.

1:07:15 Right.

1:07:16 Drew They don't have that. And when you do have that, it comes out in your relationships and that's what we're talking about here. You gotta deal with that. You gotta deal with those issues. Most people don't have that. And you would be in massive denial if you tell yourself, oh, that's just the way life is. It's not the way, that's a pathology.

1:07:33 Adam Jamie?

1:07:34 Drew Yes.

1:07:34 Adam Yeah, I know. I hear people night after night say, listen, what family doesn't have its problems? And that's true.

1:07:39 Drew I thought it was a hermeneutic.

1:07:40 Adam Problems, yeah, hogging the remote on TV night. That's a problem, taking dad's car out and denting up the fender. Those are problems, even some more substantial problems, but not molestation, physical abuse, substance abuse. These are real problems that have real, long-lasting effects. Jamie? Yes. You're 18, what's up?

1:08:03 Caller Okay, this is a kind of complicated situation. My parents don't really get along, they're fighting all the time and my mom always comes to me and tells me how miserable she is and this and that, but she's just really scared of my dad, seriously scared that he'll slip out and kill her.

1:08:20 Drew If she tries to leave?

1:08:21 Caller Right. So the other night, my mom, they're both imports, my parents, they're off the boat.

1:08:27 Drew From where?

1:08:28 Caller So that doesn't matter.

1:08:30 Drew Well, it kind of does. If it's from Italy, it kind of matters. Why is it an issue if they're from France?

1:08:35 Adam Here's why it matters, Jamie, because we want to know, you goofball.

1:08:39 Caller Okay, my dad is from Eastern Europe, and my mom is from Mexico.

1:08:44 Adam Aha, very volatile combination.

1:08:48 Caller Okay.

1:08:48 Adam It's like nitroglycerin and an M-80 being packed together in the same crate, same pinata.

1:08:57 Caller That's right. So they don't really know how to use the computer very well or something, so my mom was trying to write an email to somebody, and I guess she didn't send it correctly or something, so when I went on the computer, the email was still there, and it said that it was to a man, and in very simple terms, it was very obvious that she was sleeping with this guy. Oh, really? Yeah. And I don't know what to do. I don't know, because in a way, I can understand, like, you know, she freaked out, I believe, my dad, because my dad seriously has a nut job, but.

1:09:31 Adam Yeah. Hey, hey, Jamie, here's my plan for you.

1:09:34 Caller Okay.

1:09:35 Adam Why don't you get out of there?

1:09:37 Caller I'm 18 years old.

1:09:38 Drew Go to college. Go away to college.

1:09:40 Caller I am. I am next year. I am going away to college.

1:09:42 Drew Where are you going? Where are you going?

1:09:46 Caller DuPol University.

1:09:48 Drew DuPol?

1:09:49 Kathy Griffin DuPol in Chicago?

1:09:50 Drew DuPol.

1:09:50 Caller Yeah.

1:09:52 Drew So you're going to move out of home?

1:09:54 Caller Yeah.

1:09:54 Drew Okay.

1:09:54 Adam Was it DuPol? I thought it was D-Pol.

1:09:57 Caller D-Pol.

1:09:59 Kathy Griffin I'm from Chicago. I know that accent.

1:10:01 Caller Oh.

1:10:02 Adam Okay. You're going to DuPol and that's good. Until then, you have to worry about your dad not killing you and your mom.

1:10:10 Caller Right. But I don't know if I should approach my mom or what it means.

1:10:15 Drew I think it's already inappropriate the way your mom has parentalized you. I mean, you are an adult. You may be comfortable with this stuff now, but that's their stuff. I don't know.

1:10:27 Kathy Griffin Does your dad hit your mom?

1:10:30 Caller Not really. I mean, he's hit her like twice before.

1:10:33 Drew How is that not really, my dear?

1:10:35 Kathy Griffin Hold on. I'm going to faint.

1:10:37 Caller I'm saying like this is a long time ago, like a long time ago.

1:10:41 Kathy Griffin Guys hit girls just usually once or twice and then stop, right, Drew?

1:10:43 Drew Of course, always.

1:10:44 Kathy Griffin Sure.

1:10:44 Drew No, I'd ask, Glace, Jamie, why don't you help your mom get some help? Just encourage her to get a caretaker, mental health professional, somebody in her life that can appropriately help her so she's not dumping all that on you.

1:10:55 Kathy Griffin Yeah, I want the mom to not make the daughter a girlfriend. The mom should be a mom.

1:10:59 Drew Or the daughter into a mom.

1:11:00 Kathy Griffin Right, right.

1:11:02 Adam All right. Does your dad have a funny novelty type accent that he yells at your mom with?

1:11:06 Drew Yeah.

1:11:07 Caller You bitch.

1:11:08 Caller Yeah, he actually it's worth it.

1:11:11 Adam You're cooking socks.

1:11:12 Caller It's socks, big C.

1:11:16 Caller Yeah, he's an a-hole.

1:11:17 Adam What's he do for a living just to make it extra funny?

1:11:22 Kathy Griffin Adam, those are your people.

1:11:23 Adam I know. I know.

1:11:25 Kathy Griffin Another most enlightened group of men in the world.

1:11:28 Adam The worst guys in the world.

1:11:30 Kathy Griffin You know, the funny thing about your dad, I hope he's not a tile guy.

1:11:32 Adam Even he's on the construction site. He doesn't he doesn't call you Jamie. You know what he goes? The kid is home with his mother. They're making a mess, I'm sure.

1:11:43 Drew Jamie, what's the funny thing?

1:11:45 Caller You know what's the funny thing about all this is that now every single person that I know who's listening to this knows this is me.

1:11:51 Kathy Griffin I know that's why she didn't want to say the parents' background and where she's going. You guys are pressing.

1:11:56 Caller All right.

1:11:57 Kathy Griffin Jamie, I think I know who you are and I haven't been to Chicago in a few years.

1:12:01 Adam So Jamie, listen, I would, because your dad's potentially volatile, try to keep the peace until you could get off to DuPol and move on with your life.

1:12:12 Drew You help your mom get to some help.

1:12:14 Kathy Griffin But are you going to live you're going to live in the school, right?

1:12:17 Adam Yeah.

1:12:17 Kathy Griffin Okay, so you're not going to drive home every night or every weekend?

1:12:20 Caller I'll probably come home like every other weekend or something.

1:12:23 Drew You got to get a life of your own.

1:12:25 Kathy Griffin Yeah, come home with me.

1:12:26 Drew Let your mom come visit you.

1:12:27 Adam Is your dad a boozer?

1:12:29 Caller He drinks, yeah.

1:12:30 Adam Yeah, he has to. All right. Maybe he wants to get some help with that.

1:12:36 Drew That might be the trick.

1:12:37 Caller He's got a hard head. He doesn't do anything.

1:12:39 Kathy Griffin Yeah, he's going to go to an AA meeting, I'm sure.

1:12:41 Adam Jamie, just promise me you won't hate all men forever.

1:12:45 Caller I love men.

1:12:46 Adam All right. Well, don't love them too much either.

1:12:48 Drew Yeah, don't love the abuse of alcoholic men.

1:12:51 Adam That's right. All right. We will take ourselves a little break. My dear, dear friend, Kathy Griffin is here tonight. We will be back with Jamie after this.

1:13:09 Caller Don't you dare go away. Loveline will be right back with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew right here on the New Rock Alternative.

1:13:16 Caller 94.7. NRK.

1:13:18 Caller Who are these two people?

1:13:20 Caller What makes them tick?

1:13:41 Adam It's Loveline, Adam Carolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1 is the phone number. My dear, dear friend, Kathy Griffin is here, and I'll tell you, between Kathy, myself and Drew, I think we have almost all bases covered from a conversational standpoint.

1:14:00 Kathy Griffin Really?

1:14:01 Adam It'll be a great show. The three of us get beaked up on speed, and we just let the cameras roll. Kathy's tearing through an inquirer. Drew has a jam on his lap. I'm going on a rant about porn and woodworking. Why I need a guy's, the grip's name in the credit, if his name is Pat McGroin, and we just go a mile a minute.

1:14:23 Kathy Griffin I'm in.

1:14:24 Adam We do a 90-minute show in 20 minutes.

1:14:26 Kathy Griffin Yeah.

1:14:26 Drew We wouldn't interact in any way.

1:14:28 Adam No.

1:14:29 Kathy Griffin Do nothing.

1:14:30 Adam We all have essentially stalls, like in a men's room with dividers in it.

1:14:35 Kathy Griffin We just talk at each other.

1:14:36 Drew No, no.

1:14:36 Caller We just talk straight ahead.

1:14:37 Adam Straight at our own camera. And it never ends. And eventually, I like pound on Drew's stall door if I think he's getting a little preachy.

1:14:47 Drew Yeah.

1:14:48 Adam Preachy. I'm not going to...

1:14:49 Drew Shut up. Shut up.

1:14:50 Shut up.

1:14:52 Adam All right. Kathy is here. Kathy's So-Called Reality is the name of the show, MTV. Sunday nights at 10 o'clock and all over the dial in time over there on MTV because they rerun stuff. And this is... I saw the show tonight and it was real good in a nice, relaxed, kind of unforced, untrumped up kind of way. Kathy is at home in her wheelhouse with this show.

1:15:21 Kathy Griffin Yeah.

1:15:21 Adam And you're doing what you do well and that is smart. It really is.

1:15:26 Kathy Griffin I thought I am jumping all over this reality thing. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop talking about it.

1:15:31 Adam Right.

1:15:31 Kathy Griffin I'm taking it to the streets.

1:15:33 Adam Do a show that you're interested in doing.

1:15:35 Kathy Griffin Yes.

1:15:35 Adam That means something to you, that you have an opinion about. There's so many shows out there where some guy, not the guy who's hosting the show, but a different guy dreams up some reality for some concept. Grabs barfette, then goes, gets a host and shoves him with some other guy he never met, probably a girl, and it's a guy and a girl, neither one of them like each other, and then force them to talk about things they don't give a rat's ass about. And then wonder why there's no passion in the show.

1:16:01 Is that Kelly Ripa?

1:16:03 Adam Who is that?

1:16:03 Kathy Griffin The new Regis and Kelly.

1:16:05 Adam Oh, I have not seen her.

1:16:06 Kathy Griffin They have a new Kathie Lee and she's already on a soap opera. She's 31 and pregnant. That's what they ended up with. Regis and Kelly Ripa.

1:16:14 Drew There you go.

1:16:15 Adam Perfect.

1:16:16 Kathy Griffin She seems busy.

1:16:17 Adam All right. There's a little jealousy there.

1:16:22 Hey.

1:16:23 Adam You're 19. What's up?

1:16:25 Caller First, I want to say hi to Drew, your buddy's back.

1:16:28 Adam Yeah. Enjoy it while you can, brother.

1:16:30 Caller Yeah. I have a question about my friend. He's been snorting a lot of lithium lately, and I want to know what it is, if you've heard of it. I know it's a drug for mania.

1:16:40 Drew Mania for manic depression. Lithium carbonate is probably what he has.

1:16:44 Adam Where do you get that?

1:16:46 Caller From some drug dealer. I don't know. He does more drugs than anything now. He just started.

1:16:49 Drew I bet you he is just doing the lithium to deal with the side effects of the other drugs he's doing, that they're probably giving him agitation and God knows, mood instability and so he's sort of treating himself. I've never dealt with anybody who snorts lithium. I don't know. Lithium can harm your kidneys. Lithium is, you know, kind of, it needs to be monitored. It can cause kidney failure and many other side effects. So it's something that's of concern and it doesn't make you high. So it leads me to believe that he's using it for ancillary effects.

1:17:18 Caller He told me it makes him like stay up for days at a time, like three or four days.

1:17:22 Drew Are you sure you're not talking about Ritalin? No, no, you're talking about Ritalin.

1:17:26 Caller No, Lithium, it's Lithium.

1:17:28 Drew I bet you it's Ritalin.

1:17:29 Caller Is it like a white powder?

1:17:31 Drew Well, they're all white powders, but I almost guarantee it's Ritalin because that's now become a popular thing is to snort Ritalin. And that's what it does. It keeps you up three or four days. Lithium does not do that.

1:17:39 Adam Why does taking Ritalin in pill form not keep you up as long as significant does?

1:17:46 Drew Ritalin, again, it's hard to know exactly what they're getting out of snorting it, but it's higher doses. It gives it more speed effect. The Ritalin in the pill is sort of absorbed more slowly.

1:17:56 Adam Why not just snort speed, though?

1:17:59 Drew Probably Ritalin is longer acting, really.

1:18:01 Adam All right, so you recommend Ritalin or speed. You're saying do speed if you don't have the Ritalin. If you have the Ritalin, do the Ritalin, right? Okay, I'm with you, Drew. All right, let's, I know, Drew, you want to talk to someone else, but I want to talk to Ruby over here, who's 20. Ruby?

1:18:17 Caller Hi.

1:18:18 Adam Did you call last night?

1:18:19 Caller Yes, I did, and you messed up my question.

1:18:21 Adam I know, I'm sorry.

1:18:22 Caller He is big, not his penis.

1:18:24 Adam I understand.

1:18:25 Drew How big is it?

1:18:26 Kathy Griffin Wait, what?

1:18:27 Adam There's a little confusion. Last night, Ruby called and I don't read the questions, and I had someone filling in for Dr. Drew, or are you filling in for him? I'm confused now. The point is, is Jay McGraw was filling in for Dr. Drew, and I was picking the questions, but because I'm not such a good reader, and I believe it poisons the mind, by the way, I was just punching calls randomly, and she said, you know, my boyfriend is big, and he's hurting me sexually, and I thought his dork was big, and did about 15 minutes on big dorks.

1:19:03 Kathy Griffin How big yours is, and whatever.

1:19:05 Adam No, and never got to Ruby's question, which was the fact that he was a big guy.

1:19:09 Drew How big is he?

1:19:10 Caller He's like 6'3, 280 to 300, and I'm 5'1, 115.

1:19:17 Drew Well, he could hurt you.

1:19:18 Adam Yeah.

1:19:18 Caller But we haven't had sex, but we want to, and I was wondering how without me always being on top.

1:19:27 Adam Well, didn't I tell you?

1:19:28 Kathy Griffin He just holds himself up with his triceps.

1:19:30 Adam I told you doggy last night, though, didn't I?

1:19:32 Kathy Griffin No, they can do it missionary.

1:19:35 Drew He can't be on top.

1:19:36 Kathy Griffin He just can't put his middle-like weight on her, but he can rest his weight on his elbows and stuff.

1:19:41 Drew Or he can...

1:19:42 Adam Yeah, but what if he has a heart attack and collapses on her?

1:19:45 Kathy Griffin How old is he?

1:19:46 Caller He's like 25.

1:19:47 Kathy Griffin Well, he's probably not going to have a heart attack. Unless he's stoked up on Ritalin.

1:19:51 Drew San Francisco could be an earthquake.

1:19:52 Adam Yeah. Yeah, didn't I say wheelbarrow last night, Tell?

1:19:56 Drew All right, well, that's what...

1:19:57 Kathy Griffin I don't even know what that is.

1:19:58 Adam Kathy, come here.

1:19:59 Kathy Griffin Hold on.

1:20:00 Adam Come here, honey.

1:20:00 Caller Ow, ow, ow.

1:20:01 Adam Yeah.

1:20:02 Caller Ow.

1:20:03 Kathy Griffin More astroglide. Ow.

1:20:06 Caller Wait a minute.

1:20:07 Kathy Griffin I can't talk.

1:20:08 Adam Just hold still.

1:20:10 Kathy Griffin Just...

1:20:11 Kathy Griffin I can't even move or talk.

1:20:12 Drew You see what happened here, Kathy, if you're with him.

1:20:15 Kathy Griffin I'm sore already from the wheelbarrow.

1:20:17 Adam Thank you.

1:20:18 Drew What is the wheelbarrow?

1:20:19 Adam Oh, you know.

1:20:21 Drew Yeah, I got it.

1:20:21 Adam You hold the legs up.

1:20:22 Drew Yeah, that one makes sense.

1:20:23 Adam You've seen him do it at the picnics. I mean, with the clothes on. Well, you run on your hands.

1:20:28 Drew But that's facing down.

1:20:30 Adam Yeah, it's not going to work.

1:20:32 Kathy Griffin Well, you push your face in the grass like you're in a picnic contest and run.

1:20:36 Adam Yeah.

1:20:36 Kathy Griffin That sounds horrible. I can't believe I just did it with you.

1:20:40 Adam I know. I know.

1:20:41 Kathy Griffin If I could take it back.

1:20:42 Drew Ruby. Yeah. So use your imagination.

1:20:44 That should be possible.

1:20:46 Kathy Griffin And he should.

1:20:46 Adam Of course it is.

1:20:47 Drew She's not getting this. You're going to have to be more explicit with her. Are you a virgin?

1:20:51 Caller No.

1:20:52 Adam All right.

1:20:52 Kathy Griffin Have you only been with tiny men?

1:20:54 Caller Yeah.

1:20:54 Kathy Griffin Well, aren't they great?

1:20:55 Drew Yeah.

1:20:56 Adam How big is his penis?

1:20:58 Caller I don't know. We haven't had sex.

1:21:00 Adam You never felt it through anything?

1:21:02 Caller No.

1:21:03 Adam What's he wear? Like a kilt or a loincloth? He doesn't wear pants, does he?

1:21:07 Kathy Griffin He wears a mumu. He's big.

1:21:09 Adam I see. All right. Listen, you'll work it out with him. Okay. I'm not going to sign you a bunch of positions. Just say, Ouch.

1:21:16 Kathy Griffin If he's pressing you, say, Ouch. Get up.

1:21:19 Drew Don't put all your weight on top. That's his weight.

1:21:21 Caller Okay.

1:21:21 Kathy Griffin Right.

1:21:22 Caller And I just want to say, Dr. Drew, you're the best. I met you at Live 105 CFD.

1:21:26 Drew Oh, great. Nice to meet you.

1:21:27 Caller I love you.

1:21:28 Drew Thank you.

1:21:29 Adam Thanks, Ruby.

1:21:30 Drew All right, Ruby. Good luck.

1:21:30 Adam Take care of yourself. We'll speak to you. He is dreamy.

1:21:34 Drew Dreamy. Hello?

1:21:34 Adam Kathy, even though we're dear, dear friends, you're in the group, right?

1:21:37 Kathy Griffin Of course I am. I love him.

1:21:39 Drew I didn't want to bring this up, but I'm devastated that she's getting married. Oh, we all are.

1:21:42 Kathy Griffin I know. It's tough. It's tough on the whole population. I don't like that.

1:21:46 Drew She seems so happy now.

1:21:48 Adam Yeah.

1:21:48 Kathy Griffin I'm going to be a nightmare in six months. Cranky.

1:21:52 Adam Yeah.

1:21:53 Kathy Griffin And frustrated.

1:21:54 Adam Bloated.

1:21:54 Kathy Griffin Yeah.

1:21:55 Adam Diana.

1:21:56 Yeah.

1:21:56 Adam You're 25. What's up?

1:22:01 Caller My father-in-law came over. I thought it was just a friendly visit. Come and stop in the city since my husband's out of town.

1:22:08 Kathy Griffin Oh, no.

1:22:08 Caller And we're just married a year. But he started making moves on me, like to my butt and talking about porn all night long.

1:22:20 Kathy Griffin Is your father-in-law Adam Corolla?

1:22:24 Drew How old is the father-in-law?

1:22:26 Caller I don't know. He's a senior citizen, I guess.

1:22:29 Drew Is he like, a man?

1:22:31 Adam You don't know how old he is?

1:22:32 Caller I don't know. He's like in his late 50s.

1:22:34 Late 60s.

1:22:36 Adam Yeah.

1:22:37 Caller Maybe early 60s.

1:22:38 Drew Okay. Does he have any medical problems?

1:22:41 Kathy Griffin Yeah. He's a psycho.

1:22:42 Drew Well, maybe he's an addict or maybe he's got dementia or stroke.

1:22:46 Caller These were the Waltons until today.

1:22:49 Drew Right.

1:22:50 Caller Until this happened, they were the best people in the world. I was going to adopt them over my own family.

1:22:56 Drew Right. Well, why do you need your own family?

1:22:59 Caller Well, nothing. My family lives further away and I don't really talk to them much. But-

1:23:03 Drew Why? Why do you talk to them much?

1:23:06 Caller They're downers, that's all.

1:23:08 Drew Why?

1:23:08 Caller My husband is really uplifting and-

1:23:11 Drew What's why they're downers?

1:23:12 Adam Yeah.

1:23:12 Caller Oh, the-

1:23:13 Adam Dad's uplifting your skirt.

1:23:15 Caller Yeah. I don't know. They always- Like, they ask me for money. They- I don't know. They-

1:23:22 Adam They're gypsies?

1:23:23 Caller Not just- No, no. They-

1:23:25 Kathy Griffin Tramps?

1:23:25 Caller I'm a hobbler. They don't really- Okay. Okay. I don't know.

1:23:29 Adam Listen, there's issues with your family, right?

1:23:34 Caller Small ones. I mean, nothing sexual.

1:23:37 Adam No, no. It's not all about that on this show. It's about 95% that, but not all that. And how's your dad? Does he ever do anything, ever beat you or anything?

1:23:47 Caller Abusive, like kind of verbally, but not physically.

1:23:51 Drew Drinker.

1:23:52 Caller No, never.

1:23:53 Adam Doesn't drink? No.

1:23:55 Caller Really strict.

1:23:56 Adam Right, because the government injected him with something that if he ever touches booze again, he'll self-destruct.

1:24:01 Drew Do you take medication?

1:24:03 Caller No.

1:24:05 Adam Okay.

1:24:05 Drew Why isn't this making sense to me?

1:24:08 Kathy Griffin So no one can just be mean? Yeah.

1:24:10 Drew It just doesn't fit.

1:24:11 Caller I think he's just mean. Like, I don't know.

1:24:14 Adam Okay. When is your husband back? He's not in the military, is he? Where is he?

1:24:19 Caller He's not in the military.

1:24:20 Adam Where is he?

1:24:23 Caller Jail?

1:24:24 Caller No, no. He's a great guy. He's in Taiwan. He works for a big company.

1:24:28 Adam I see. Sex tour. Translation. Sex tour. I've been on one of those.

1:24:35 Kathy Griffin You can call him, right?

1:24:37 Caller No, because of the time change, I'm in California.

1:24:40 Kathy Griffin Well, I mean, you can call him tomorrow.

1:24:41 Drew You got married from-

1:24:42 Caller Well, he's calling me tomorrow, so that's why I need to-

1:24:44 Kathy Griffin Well, you have to tell him. Are you kidding? I haven't whupped his dad's ass.

1:24:48 Drew What about waiting till he gets back?

1:24:50 Kathy Griffin No. Why get the husband to call the dad and say, if you do it again, I'll break you like a twig.

1:24:54 Drew I listen. Do not be alone with that man. Do not let him near your house. Call the police if you have to, but I would not dump this on your husband until he gets back, and then you got to deal with it immediately.

1:25:05 Kathy Griffin Yeah.

1:25:05 Adam And what happened? He tried to feel your ass. You did what?

1:25:10 Caller I just told him it was time to go.

1:25:11 Adam And he left?

1:25:13 Caller Kind of like, okay, this is between me and you.

1:25:15 Drew And he wasn't drinking?

1:25:16 Kathy Griffin He said, okay, this is between me and you. So he knew it was screwed up.

1:25:19 Caller Yeah. And then when he was leaving, he grabbed my boob.

1:25:23 Drew He wasn't drinking, you said?

1:25:25 Caller No.

1:25:26 Adam Well, you can't blame a guy for trying to cop a quick feel on the way out.

1:25:30 Kathy Griffin You can't blame him.

1:25:31 Adam I'll do that. I'll grab a boob if I'm heading for the door.

1:25:35 Kathy Griffin Last boob on the before the 101.

1:25:37 Adam Yes. Yeah, that's right. I'm with Drew on this, that I cannot believe this guy was not high or drunk or something.

1:25:45 Caller He wasn't. They're so nice, like the whole family.

1:25:49 Kathy Griffin Is this like the only time you've been alone with him? Are they usually other family members around?

1:25:55 Caller Yeah, usually.

1:25:55 Drew See, Diana, for some reason, you don't see a big piece of somebody. You don't see it in your dad and you don't see it in this guy. And the easiest way to explain that is with somebody on drugs and you don't see it because you're used to your dad being on Vicodin or something.

1:26:08 Caller Oh, God, no, they're not.

1:26:10 Adam Okay. Hey, hey, listen here, sweet pea. You keep, we say, was he drunk? And you say, no, my God, no, he's the greatest guy. The greatest guy grabbed your jug on his way out the door. You retard. He's not the greatest guy. Listen to what we're saying.

1:26:26 Drew He's not the greatest guy. You're missing something about him.

1:26:29 Adam Yes, you can say he was stone cold sober, but don't finish it off with he was grandpa Walton.

1:26:34 Drew Because he's not, he's not.

1:26:36 Adam He's a bad guy, a real bad guy.

1:26:38 Drew And you may have perceived him to be that, but for some reason you don't see him for who he is. And what we're saying is, well, gee, maybe because you grew up in a family with, with people that, that you got used to being around. And so you don't see that in other people.

1:26:50 Adam Right. I would suspect that he had something in his system.

1:26:55 Drew I would actually go first for a medical workout, make sure they have a brain tumor or something. And really you do that.

1:27:00 Kathy Griffin But I'm curious about the husband as well.

1:27:01 Drew Yeah.

1:27:02 Kathy Griffin Yeah.

1:27:03 Drew But, but listen, you first, first, benefit of the doubt, maybe this guy's got a brain tumor. I mean, maybe really this guy's messed up medically.

1:27:09 Adam Maybe he's locked down.

1:27:10 Caller He had like heart surgery a couple of years ago.

1:27:15 Drew I just bet.

1:27:15 Caller Other than that.

1:27:16 Kathy Griffin Do you think he has a brain tumor? You don't think he's just a molesting perv?

1:27:19 Drew Then I say there's a substance involved. It just all reeks of substance. This whole situation does. And then it's just, you get another sort of psychiatric bad people.

1:27:29 Adam I farted earlier. That could be what you smell.

1:27:30 Drew It could be.

1:27:32 Adam Diana?

1:27:32 Drew Yeah.

1:27:33 Adam And now I'm worried about your husband.

1:27:35 Caller Yeah.

1:27:35 Adam Is he an all right guy?

1:27:37 Caller Oh, yeah. No, I swear. He's really like the greatest person I've ever met.

1:27:41 Kathy Griffin Everybody's great. Because I can't imagine. Is the husband gone like most of the year or is this rare that he's gone for a month?

1:27:48 Caller No, no, he's gone a lot.

1:27:50 Drew Okay.

1:27:51 Adam I can't imagine your husband being the world's greatest guy coming from the world's biggest jackass.

1:27:56 Drew Yeah.

1:27:57 Adam Do you see?

1:27:57 Caller But I've known the family for a long time.

1:28:00 Drew How long?

1:28:02 Caller Seven years.

1:28:03 Adam All right. Well, I'm with Drew on this in that you're going to screw your husband all up over there.

1:28:09 Drew Yeah. Wait till he gets back.

1:28:11 Adam Okay.

1:28:12 Drew But look at it.

1:28:13 Caller Let me guess.

1:28:14 Drew I may have a brain tumor. I mean, listen, if she's accurate.

1:28:16 Kathy Griffin You don't think she should even talk to the mother-in-law and say, your husband did this?

1:28:20 Adam No, because it's going to cause hell because here's what's going to happen. She's going to call her a liar and there's going to be trouble.

1:28:26 Drew And the husband's out there to sort of cry over this. And we know she's got problems with her family.

1:28:31 Kathy Griffin I have a question. Do you? What's your name? What's your name?

1:28:35 Drew Diana.

1:28:35 Adam I miss on hold.

1:28:36 Kathy Griffin All right. Do you at least feel, is your sense that when you tell your husband, he'll be with you 100 percent?

1:28:43 Caller Not really.

1:28:45 Caller Oh, it sucks.

1:28:46 Caller He brushes over things. He's not going to put me down, but he brushes over things.

1:28:50 Adam But he's the world's greatest guy.

1:28:52 Caller Exactly. Nothing ever happened to his family.

1:28:54 Adam But he's the world's greatest guy.

1:28:55 Kathy Griffin He's got to back you up 100 percent.

1:28:57 Drew It doesn't work both ways, Diana.

1:28:59 Adam It can't be the world's greatest guy and brush over things.

1:29:02 Kathy Griffin That's a major thing to brush over.

1:29:04 Drew Critically important issues.

1:29:05 Kathy Griffin There's no brushing over.

1:29:07 Adam The dad cannot be Ozzie Nelson and feel you up.

1:29:11 Kathy Griffin Or grab her.

1:29:12 Caller You see what I'm saying?

1:29:13 Kathy Griffin Let me just say this. I just want to say this as a woman and I'm going to get on my high horse. It's very easy to joke about things like guys like the jerk off in the street. Every so often you see a guy like that or every so often a guy cops a feel or something like that. Well, I'm from a major city. Every so often I've seen that. That stuff, like what her father-in-law did, that's honestly really traumatic. That's really, really major. And I think if you're a guy, it's easy to kind of go, oh, you know, it's a big deal. But it's a huge, weird betrayal. This is like a family you've married into. I'm sure it seems out of left field to her.

1:29:46 Drew She's in massive denial about it.

1:29:48 Kathy Griffin Right, right. But I'm just saying, like, it's a big deal and the husband needs to acknowledge that it's a big, big deal.

1:29:55 Drew If he doesn't, then he's also the world's greatest asshole.

1:29:57 Adam The greatest guy, but he just glosses over things. He doesn't listen. We'll take a break.

1:30:01 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:30:05 Caller We'll be right back.

1:30:06 Caller Yeah, you're listening to Loveline right here on Portland's New Rock Alternative.

1:30:10 Caller It's night at 4-7, N-R-K.

1:30:33 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew tonight, filling in for himself. Amazingly enough.

1:30:40 Drew Appearing as himself.

1:30:41 Adam Appearing as himself, playing the role of Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, everybody. Kathy Griffin, dear, dear friend, is on the show tonight. She is the host of her very own show, Kathy's So-Called Reality, MTV, 10 o'clock Sunday nights, and other times as well. Just turn on that MTV. Find the Red Headed Spark plug. And you've got Kathy Griffin. All right, I want to talk to Jeff too. Good, Drew. Jeff, 27.

1:31:09 Caller Hi, yeah. How's it going? Good. I want to say what's up, Adam. I love you, man. You the man. Right there. Kathy, you're a beautiful girl. Keep it going.

1:31:17 Caller Thank you. What's up, Jeff?

1:31:19 Caller Oh, man. I got a problem, man. I see. I live with two sisters and they're both pregnant and everything's fine. The relationship is great between all three of us. Only problem is I got my parents coming down this weekend. They know I have a girl pregnant. They don't know I have two.

1:31:39 Adam I see.

1:31:42 Caller I'm sort of worried. I'm not really worried about my dad. I think my dad will understand a little bit more about my mom. I figure she's just going to kick my butt.

1:31:50 Adam Do these two girls know that each other are pregnant from you?

1:31:55 Caller Yes, they do. See, we have that sort of relationship.

1:31:59 Drew They're your roommates? You say that?

1:32:02 Caller We're a little bit more than roommates.

1:32:04 Kathy Griffin Are you a Mormon?

1:32:06 Caller No, I'm not.

1:32:07 Kathy Griffin They like the big families with the multiple mothers.

1:32:09 Drew What do you do for a living?

1:32:10 Caller Me? I work at a large office company. Large office.

1:32:15 Adam I see.

1:32:17 Caller I support them both.

1:32:18 Kathy Griffin Do they manufacture offices?

1:32:20 Drew What do you do for a living, Jeff?

1:32:22 Caller I'm in accounting.

1:32:24 Adam Okay.

1:32:26 Drew First he started, you and I both went, what the?

1:32:28 Adam Yeah, it sounded a little bogus.

1:32:30 Caller I found a little bogus.

1:32:31 Adam I'm sort of.

1:32:32 Caller This is serious. I just have a problem without telling my mom.

1:32:35 Adam All right. I'm sort of okay with this because his parents are coming in town. Okay. How far along are both of them?

1:32:45 Caller Okay. I got one that's eight months and one that's six months.

1:32:48 Adam I see. Do you have any other children with these women?

1:32:51 Caller No. These are my first two kids.

1:32:54 Adam They're sisters. They know about each other. They know about you.

1:32:57 Caller We all sleep together.

1:32:58 Adam That's the deal.

1:32:59 Caller Yeah. That's the deal. I know I got myself in this situation, but I'm just worried about telling my mom more than anything because I haven't feel my mom is just going to go crazy.

1:33:07 Kathy Griffin Well, you don't have to tell her. She's just going to look at the girls.

1:33:10 Caller She's coming down and they're both there. I mean, they both want me to tell them.

1:33:14 Adam And one isn't showing.

1:33:17 Caller They're both showing.

1:33:18 Adam Oh, I thought you said two months. Six months and eight months.

1:33:20 Caller Six months, one's eight months.

1:33:21 Adam I see. And they give birth at 14 months. What? How's that one? So, hey, Jeff, yeah, your dad may give you a big high five. Your mom may be a little freaked out, although she's lucky you haven't gotten her pregnant yet. So she's recounting her blessings. Well, listen, you're going to have to come clean with them sooner or later.

1:33:41 Caller Yeah, because they want me to and I'm just sort of scared, you know?

1:33:44 Adam All right. Here's my advice.

1:33:47 Caller Yeah.

1:33:47 Adam When are they coming down?

1:33:48 Caller They're coming down this weekend.

1:33:50 Adam Okay, this weekend. Here's what I would do. I would contact them and especially mom before they blow into town because you want to give her the option to freak out over the phone and possibly not come as opposed to pitch a fit in the apartment.

1:34:05 Drew You should stay focused on the fact that this is the way I want to live my life. This is my alternative lifestyle. I'm going to stay with these women, raise these children. It's just a different choice.

1:34:13 Kathy Griffin He doesn't actually sound quite that serious. But he's like, it's great. We all sleep together.

1:34:18 Drew He's got to sell his mom.

1:34:18 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:34:19 Drew I hope he is going to take care of these kids.

1:34:21 Kathy Griffin Drew, you're just letting him off the hook. He got two women pregnant.

1:34:23 Drew His mom's going to kick his ass. Let's face it, his mom's going to kick his ass. He's got to get ready.

1:34:26 Adam Yes. There's no doubt that Jeff's a despicable human being, but in these two chicks, oh, they're going to make great mothers, great mothers one day, these two screw balls. God knows what kind of chaos they come from. They're probably raised by records.

1:34:40 Kathy Griffin Drew, I'm curious about this. The guy, he impregnates two women he's living with. Is this like a, is this a, what does he get out of it? Is it the status thing?

1:34:47 Drew I'd say we get back.

1:34:48 Kathy Griffin Okay.

1:34:48 Adam All right. We'll take a break.

1:34:49 Kathy Griffin All right.

1:34:56 Caller Tonight, Loveline is brought to you by Car Toys on 94.7 NRK, The New Rock Alternative.

1:35:38 Adam Alrighty, Drew was going to explain something, but he doesn't remember. We're all talked out with.

1:35:44 Drew What do the girls get out of that? That guy that they're sleeping with is dad.

1:35:48 Kathy Griffin That's what they get out of that. Bad dad.

1:35:50 Drew Yes.

1:35:50 Kathy Griffin He's a bad dad.

1:35:51 Adam All dads are bad.

1:35:52 Drew He is the symbol of their dad.

1:35:54 Kathy Griffin Who was a bad dad?

1:35:55 Drew He was a bad dad.

1:35:55 Kathy Griffin All right.

1:35:56 Adam He dropped the ball somewhere. All right. Kathy's so-called reality is the name of the show, MTV. Go out and watch that or stay in and watch it, I should say. Dear, dear friend, Kathy Griffin. Thanks for coming on.

1:36:09 Kathy Griffin Thank you so much, gentlemen.

1:36:11 Adam Come on whenever you like.

1:36:13 Kathy Griffin I'm in awe of what you do every night. I'm blown away.

1:36:16 Adam We were fans of yours and we'd like you to come on whenever you'd like.

1:36:19 Kathy Griffin Thank you.

1:36:20 Drew Come back married.

1:36:21 Kathy Griffin Okay. I think I will.

1:36:22 Adam I'll be at the wedding. Drew won't because he'll be checking a vending machine for change somewhere in Kentucky, but I will be there. Until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, ma-ha.

1:36:35 Caller This has been LoveLine. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for LoveLine is Ann Wilkins Engel. LoveLine is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, February 7, 2001