Episode 1000754887108

0:55 Voiceover It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist.

1:08 Drew What's up there?

1:09 Adam What were you doing? Something on the phone or something?

1:11 Drew I was asleep.

1:12 Adam Oh, really?

1:12 Yeah.

1:15 Adam Did Anderson just wake you up when he told you 30 seconds?

1:18 Drew No, no, no, I woke up when he said two minutes, went and got a coffee, and then he said 30 seconds.

1:22 Adam I see. You look good. Well, what time did you get here?

1:26 Drew About 15 minutes ago, 12 minutes ago.

1:28 Adam Took a little nap?

1:29 Drew Yeah. Pow. I mean, I was tired and walked in here.

1:31 Adam Nothing wrong with that.

1:32 Drew No, it's good.

1:33 Adam Yeah. They say naps are good.

1:34 Drew I'm impressed. My esteem somehow has gone up in your eyes now.

1:37 Adam You're scoring points.

1:38 Drew Yeah, I noticed that.

1:39 Adam Keep that napping going, brother.

1:40 Drew I had a gas trouble tonight. I took a nap. I'm really way up your scale.

1:44 Adam Drew announced he was a little gassy when he came in tonight, which could be bad times for me because I got nothing. I'm going through a real down period rectally.

1:54 Drew Sorry, I apologize. It can be pretty depressing sometimes.

1:57 Adam Yeah, it's got me down. I keep my head up. I know there's another fart just around the corner.

2:02 Drew That's my wife reminding me, though, that's not a turn on.

2:04 Adam The gas?

2:05 Drew No. I think you would have got great jokes.

2:08 Adam Yeah, you're with the wrong woman.

2:09 Drew No, no.

2:11 Adam Brad, let's see what we can do about that. Brad? Yeah. You're 19? Yeah. What's up?

2:17 Caller Uh, not much. I just have some questions. Me and my girlfriend, we know we've been together for a few weeks, and we just recently started having sex, and it's kind of weird because her ex-boyfriend, she tells me, you know, they have sex probably for like three, four minutes at tops, I guess.

2:40 Adam Good.

2:40 Caller Yeah, he was one of those, I don't know.

2:43 Drew Efficient.

2:43 Caller Super guys.

2:44 Drew Efficient guys, yeah.

2:45 Adam Yeah.

2:46 Caller You know, he'd get off after two minutes of sex. Yeah. And, you know, she was, you know, like, what's going on here? Anyway.

2:53 Adam You're double his time, right?

2:55 Caller Jesus. Like, it takes me, sometimes I won't even get off, and it takes me probably like 30, 45 minutes.

3:02 Drew Are you on a medication?

3:04 Caller Yeah, actually I am. I take depression medication.

3:06 Drew Which one?

3:08 Caller Paxil.

3:08 Drew Well, that's what's doing it.

3:10 Caller Yeah, I know that's what's doing it. It's the sexual side effects. But I really don't have a problem with me not getting off because sometimes I will, sometimes I won't, and it's not a big deal to me. But for her, I don't know what the problem is, but we'll have sex probably for about five, 10 minutes, and she'll start to get really dry.

3:31 Drew That's normal, Brad. About 10 minutes is about all most women can take.

3:34 Adam Well, that's a little early, but all right. How old is she?

3:38 Caller She is 17. She'll be 18 in a few months. But, see, the reason I had a question was...

3:43 Adam So she is going to be 18 at some point, you're saying?

3:46 Caller Yeah.

3:47 Adam Good, good.

3:48 Caller And my ex-girlfriend, before this, you know, we could go for a long time and she would never get dry or anything.

3:57 Adam Okay, hold on, hold on. Here's what people have to realize, and here's what happens to guys and to girls. They hook up with someone in high school and they're with them for three years. That becomes the one and only vagina or penis they've ever seen.

4:10 Drew They're all like that.

4:11 Adam They're all like that way. And then for the rest of their life, they're confused. You know, it's like, well, this one girlfriend, she was, man, she was wet. I mean, she was like a, she had to wring her like a bar rag. I mean, it was water was coming all over, there was fluid down there, and we could go, and she loved it in this position, and she never complained about, and then you get with somebody else and it's a totally different thing. Women vary quite a bit downstairs.

4:39 Drew Quite a bit.

4:39 Adam And ladies, men do too. Not so much in anatomy, but in time. You got the one boyfriend that goes in two minutes, the next guy over here is, if he goes at all, it's in an hour. Do not be confused by it. Expect it. Right?

4:53 Drew I think guys are more confused than the men, than the women, rather.

4:57 Adam Yeah, but now as you get older and you've been with a few different women, you just sort of realize, or a few different men, hey, this is how it works. I mean as a woman, not as a gay guy. Come on, hey, I slipped up.

5:09 Drew I'm just wondering if you were actually dressed as a woman, with a guy as a woman. No.

5:13 Adam Okay. So he should get on some what? Wellbutrin or something?

5:17 Drew Well, that's an interesting idea is to either change the Paxil to Wellbutrin, Remeron or Sarazon or just add Wellbutrin to the Paxil, and he may shorten his time a little bit.

5:26 Adam All right. As far as she goes, maybe get some lube going, work it out, you just started.

5:31 Drew But for half an hour for a lot of women, for a lot of women, and I dare say most, you can paint, it's out, it's out time.

5:35 Adam Yeah, but she's drying five minutes.

5:37 Drew You said five, ten.

5:38 Adam Gotta get a little lube going in there, that's all. Jessica? Hi. Hey, you're 40. 48?

5:46 Caller 48.

5:46 Adam What's up?

5:47 Caller I'm an old person.

5:48 Adam Yeah. And remind me, by the way, please, one more time, Drew, if I forget, to kick the guy in the nuts who decided it was a good idea to put the slash through the zero on the font.

6:01 Drew On the computer, yeah.

6:01 Adam Yeah. Because from anything, if you don't have a jeweler's loop and your goddamn face isn't pressed against it, it looks like an eight. Thank you. Go ahead.

6:10 Caller What?

6:11 Adam All right, baby.

6:11 Caller I didn't understand anything you just said.

6:13 Adam Well, you're not gonna. It's gonna be a long night for you.

6:16 Drew What's your question?

6:17 Caller I don't think so. Well, this is a question for Dr. Drew. Now, I know you and him will get a bigger kick out of it, but, okay, I've been married 25 years, but I've been with my husband since 15.

6:31 Drew Wow. Oh, my God. That's got to be some kind of record.

6:33 Adam It's a Loveline record.

6:35 Caller Well, he went in the Navy, so we each had, like, you know, a little reprieve, you know, for three years, four years.

6:40 Drew She went on a territory in those years.

6:41 Caller But, you know, an experiment.

6:43 Drew Sure, yeah.

6:43 Caller Basically, we've been monogamous since 1976, bicentennial year. Anyway, in the past, like the past year, I know this is gonna sound really odd, but like, you could, we have a pretty active sex life. And like, you know, like you have sex in the night, and then in the morning, when you go in the, you know, you go in the bathroom, whatever, it like smells like really, really bad.

7:11 Adam The next morning. The next morning?

7:17 Caller No, well, in the morning, you know, like if you...

7:20 Adam Well, listen, screwball, I'm saying if you...

7:21 Caller You're not going to take a shower during the night.

7:23 Adam No, you wouldn't, the water doesn't run after the streetlights are on, does it, Drew?

7:27 Drew But if you go and...

7:29 Caller I don't have streetlights where I live, but anyway...

7:30 Drew If you were to check yourself out in the nighttime, would it smell also?

7:35 Caller No!

7:36 Drew So only in the next day is it smelling?

7:38 Caller No, it's...

7:39 Adam All right, hold on, hold on.

7:41 Reactment?

7:42 Adam Oh my God, yeah.

7:43 Drew Okay, so...

7:43 Adam The Loveline Reactment? Go ahead.

7:45 Drew Here we go. So the night... If you were to check yourself out the night after sex, it would smell?

7:49 Adam No!

7:50 Drew So the next morning is the only time you know...

7:51 No!

7:52 Drew Okay.

7:54 Adam Do you see why we hate people? I don't know if we can get to the bottom of this.

7:58 Caller You know, you listen, you take all these retarded calls from all these teenagers, you know, and their questions are like, so retarded.

8:05 Right.

8:06 Caller You know, your question...

8:07 Adam It's always funny when people say retarded. All right, here's what we're trying to figure out.

8:12 Drew First of all, I'm worried about your lung disease. My God.

8:15 Caller I don't have lung disease.

8:16 Adam You do a lot of smoking?

8:18 Drew Cigarettes.

8:19 Caller I smoke, but...

8:20 Drew Listen, I can hear your emphysema.

8:23 Adam A wild stab in the dark.

8:24 Drew I can hear your emphysema from here.

8:27 Caller You can hear my what?

8:28 Drew Emphysema from here.

8:29 Caller I don't have emphysema.

8:31 Drew Go see a doctor.

8:31 Caller I can take a deep breath.

8:34 Adam Well, now I'm sold.

8:36 Caller Hey, listen, I was listening to Scott Jones today on the TV, on The View, and she sounds like she has emphysema.

8:42 Drew Why don't you switch over to Mars Venus? It's a much better show.

8:44 Adam We're not saying that other people don't have emphysema. You understand? We're saying maybe you do as well.

8:50 Drew Anyway, so let's get to the bottom of our question.

8:53 Adam One woman in America has emphysema.

8:54 Drew I'm going to ask the question again.

8:56 Caller I was trying to be serious.

8:57 Drew Jessica, listen, if you smell things the night of the event, of the sex, there's no smell.

9:06 Caller I thought maybe one of the men told the same thing.

9:08 Drew Listen to me, hey Jessica, Jessica, we're going to hang up on you if you don't listen, okay? The evening you have sex, if you were to smell, there would be no smell, is that correct?

9:21 Caller The evening we're going to have sex.

9:22 Drew If you have sex in the evening and you look around for a smell, you don't find any, is that accurate?

9:27 Caller Yes.

9:28 Drew But the next morning, if you haven't cleaned up during the night, there's a smell.

9:32 Caller Yes.

9:33 Drew Where is the smell?

9:35 Adam It's coming out of the vagina, right?

9:36 Drew Is it out of the vagina?

9:37 Caller The toilet paper.

9:39 Adam The toilet paper.

9:40 Drew So if you wipe yourself.

9:41 Adam So it leaks out of you eight hours later?

9:45 Caller Not eight hours, probably like four hours later, three hours later. Come on.

9:51 Adam All right. Hey, Jessica. We're going to hang up on you now because we're having difficulty with you. You say you have sex in the night and the next morning.

10:02 Drew When you wake up.

10:02 Adam It comes out of you when you're in the bathroom.

10:05 Drew After a night's sleep.

10:06 Caller Yes.

10:07 Drew On average, that will be seven or eight hours.

10:09 Adam All right. But you only sleep three or four hours. Now we understand that.

10:13 Caller Okay.

10:13 Adam So something happens to the sperm that's inside of you.

10:17 Caller Right.

10:17 Adam During those three or four hours.

10:19 Caller Right.

10:19 Drew So if there's sperm already out on the bedclothes, that kind of thing, that doesn't smell.

10:24 Adam If you gave your husband a BJ, it wouldn't smell when you did that, would it?

10:30 Caller No, but I wouldn't go to completion.

10:32 Drew We're not, hey, we're not at.

10:33 Adam All right, all right. All right, all right, I don't got enough time. I just wonder how people get through life. I really do. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, where's the car keys? Where's the car? Like, what about the process?

10:47 Drew Yeah, where's the car? You just have to think about it. What are you trying, what do you mean?

10:50 Adam I mean, what about the process of just say, dropping your car off, getting it repaired, and picking it up? Something like that. Phone calls, scheduling, payment.

11:00 Drew Impossible.

11:01 Adam I don't know. People seem to be able to function, though, don't they? Remember us talking about how insane David Arquette was?

11:09 Drew Yeah, but he's not hostile. He doesn't think, when you ask him a question, he doesn't think around it and then refuse to answer it.

11:14 Adam Oh, well, you may be right. Diane? Yes? You're 23.

11:20 Caller Hi.

11:20 Adam What's up?

11:21 Caller Well, I'm 23. I've been with my boyfriend for three and a half years. I totally love him to death and I don't want to have sex anymore. We used to have sex in the first year, but the last year and a half.

11:34 Drew You don't want to or he doesn't want to?

11:36 Caller I don't want to. He wants to.

11:38 Adam Why don't you want to in your estimation?

11:40 Caller I have no idea.

11:42 Drew Is this your first boyfriend?

11:43 Caller No.

11:44 Drew Is this your first one you've really been in love with?

11:48 Caller Second.

11:49 Drew How did this first one end?

11:51 Caller We were just young. We went away to college.

11:54 Adam Okay. You've always enjoyed sex with this guy up until recently?

11:58 Caller About a year and a half ago.

12:00 Adam Oh, yeah. A year and a half. Well, it's been a while.

12:02 Drew But it was okay during the first year and a half.

12:04 Caller Oh, yeah.

12:05 Adam How's his attitude with the whole thing?

12:08 Caller You know, I have to... He's really patient with me, but he's a little stressed out about it. You know, he's a guy.

12:15 Adam How often do you have sex?

12:19 Caller Once, twice a month.

12:21 Adam He's not going for that. Well, he's going along with it, but he can't be happy about it.

12:25 Drew Even that you don't want to do. Is that right?

12:27 Caller Right, it's a chore.

12:28 Adam Do you give him some oral sex ever?

12:30 Caller No, no, I hate that.

12:31 Adam You should be jailed.

12:33 Caller I know.

12:34 Adam How dare you?

12:35 Caller I know, but I used to be sexual. I just, I don't know what happened to me.

12:39 Drew Are you depressed?

12:42 Caller I've, you know, been a little depressed like the past two years, but you know, I can't blame it on that anymore.

12:48 Drew You've been less than a year and a half been depressed, but it couldn't be that. Are you on any medication?

12:52 Caller No, I'm not.

12:53 Drew You started nothing a year and a half ago, vitamins, birth control pills?

12:57 Caller Birth control, but I've been off to birth control for three months and I'm still not sexual. Nothing.

13:03 Adam All right. Well, maybe it's the depression.

13:06 Caller But you know, it was something in my life that happened two years ago. I should be over it.

13:11 Drew What happened?

13:11 Adam Oh, hold on. We'll just keep guessing.

13:13 Caller Yeah. I'm sorry. My parents split up.

13:17 Adam You were 21.

13:18 Caller 20. Yeah. So I mean, I should be, it shouldn't be affecting me that much.

13:23 Drew No, maybe not. If you're angry about that, then it's nothing.

13:28 Adam You got two choices here. Either you're depressed and it's just slowing you down or you're not into this guy anymore.

13:35 Drew It should be that you may be growing out of it. You need to sabotage it for some reason.

13:39 Adam Sometimes your body tells you things that your mind doesn't accept.

13:44 Caller Yeah.

13:44 Adam Or isn't willing to admit. Maybe you ain't so into this guy anymore.

13:49 Caller Oh, I love him to death. He's perfect.

13:51 Drew Yeah.

13:52 Caller We're great together.

13:53 Adam Yeah. I love my nephews.

13:57 Caller I'm in love with him. No.

13:58 Adam I mean, I really love him. I like that sex. You missed my point. Okay. Listen. Look into the depression. And if you look into that and you start getting that treated and you still ain't into this guy, you ain't into it.

14:13 Drew Right. Yeah. It means a lot. It says a lot about how you feel.

14:17 Adam Oh, yeah.

14:18 Drew Especially women. A guy could hate the woman and still be wanting to have sex.

14:23 Adam Oh, yeah.

14:24 Drew More.

14:25 Adam You get that vengeance F in. That's the best one. That's right, baby. You're not so smart anymore, are you? Did you ever do that one?

14:35 Drew No.

14:38 Adam Me neither.

14:40 Mark? Hello?

14:42 Adam You're 21.

14:43 Caller Yeah, I'm from Long Beach.

14:44 Adam That's good.

14:44 Caller What's up? Nothing much. I just need a little bit of advice. Well, all right, I've been with my girlfriend for about three years, and I'm starting to have feelings for guys and checking them out. I'm curious, you know?

15:00 Drew You're 21.

15:01 Caller Right.

15:02 Drew A little late to be kind of curious, isn't it? Yeah. Were you curious prior to that?

15:06 Caller I didn't know it, but I have features that I would... Like at school and stuff, like a long time ago, I like had all girlfriends and like everything like pieced up just like right now. And like, I'm just starting to realize stuff.

15:22 Drew And do you have anything in your life that might have led to your confusion? Were you sexually abused or anything like that?

15:27 Caller Well, my dad wasn't around for a long time.

15:31 Adam Man, won't do it for guys. So maybe you were thinking about guys and you didn't know it five years ago.

15:37 Drew Or weren't willing to admit it.

15:39 Caller Right. That's true because it's kind of like a homophobic world, you know? Yeah.

15:43 Drew So you were having those feelings, you just didn't want to really deal with them.

15:45 Caller Right. And so I've been with her for like three years.

15:49 Drew So you're not confused. You're just waking up. You're willing now to come forward a little bit.

15:52 Yeah.

15:52 Caller And I don't know what to do because we've been together for like three years. And I'm starting to love this girl.

15:59 And I don't know.

16:00 Drew Well, whatever you do, don't go further. Do not marry her. You've got the ultimate out.

16:05 Adam Yeah. I'm gay. I'm out.

16:08 Drew She'll get that.

16:09 Caller Yeah. Well, like.

16:11 Drew And the more time you let her waste, you know.

16:14 Adam Yeah. She probably will think she turned you gay.

16:17 Caller Well, should I start experimenting or I don't know, like, what to do, like, with the whole situation?

16:21 Adam Right. You need to break up with her.

16:23 Drew You need to start working your way out of this thing.

16:25 Caller Right on.

16:25 Adam All right. And that's the deal.

16:27 Drew And then go ahead and boyfriends. That's fine. Yeah. Or 21, for god sakes.

16:32 Adam But take it slow. Start with half a penis. See how that works. That works. You move up the three-quarter dong. Three-quarter dong.

16:40 Drew Now, which half?

16:42 Adam No, no. I don't mean half, you know, split down the middle long ways. I mean half, you know. Like, you know, taking a loaf of bread and breaking it in half.

16:50 Drew Yeah, but which half?

16:52 Adam Oh, oh. Oh, that's good. Southern.

16:56 Caller Okay.

16:58 Adam Half closest to the balls.

16:59 Drew Oh, really?

17:00 Adam Yeah, that's what I do. I start with the half close to the balls, and then eventually, you know, when I think I'm up to it, I work down to the other, the outer half.

17:09 Drew Do you have to have a guy that has the front half removed?

17:13 Adam And, Drew, I don't look at guys as whole penis or half penis. I look at them as individuals. Everyone is different. How dare you, please. Plus, there's personality. Stacey?

17:26 Yeah.

17:26 Adam You're 36.

17:27 Caller Yes.

17:28 Adam What's up?

17:28 Caller I have a couple problems. The first one, well addressed, hopefully. I'm having problems with intimacy with men, and I'm thinking that it's due to something that I caught my last husband doing.

17:40 Drew Which was?

17:41 Caller Hisself. And, I mean, not normal masturbation. He was giving himself oral. He was giving himself head.

17:47 Adam Nice.

17:49 Caller So, and now I'm having to...

17:51 Adam What position was he in when he did that? Was he on his back with his legs kicked over?

17:55 Caller No, he just bent right over and got after it. I mean, look, you can flip backwards and do it. If you want, I can prove it. I've got it on videotape. There was, we had a big battle between us.

18:05 Adam I'd be very interested in seeing that. Very interested.

18:07 Caller I'm not kidding, because you know what? I mean, I felt really betrayed because he didn't have to mess with my head like that.

18:12 Adam Was he? Well, hold on a second, Stacey. Was he sitting down or was he standing up?

18:18 Caller Yeah, sitting on a big plastic dildo and bouncing on it as he's like giving himself head.

18:26 Drew Oh my God.

18:28 Adam That thickens the plot a little.

18:29 Drew Is he very, very limo?

18:33 Caller He was really heavily into dope and stuff and people like to use that as a cop out. They like to use it as a cop out that they did this because they were on dope or alcohol or whatever, you know.

18:45 Adam Stacey's got some energy.

18:46 Drew Oh yeah.

18:47 Adam Oh boy.

18:47 Caller Well, I'm upset because I mean, I don't want to go out really. I mean, I'm happy being by myself.

18:54 Drew You hate men. Yeah. You hate men.

18:56 Adam Well, hold on.

18:56 Caller Because that's what my next issue was. I have a 13 year old son I'm having trouble with.

19:01 Adam Good boy.

19:01 Drew Surprise, surprise.

19:03 Adam Okay, hold on Stacey. I got to reenact this for just a second. Did you come into the room or did you come home early or how did you catch him?

19:12 Caller I came into the room.

19:13 Adam You came into the room.

19:14 Drew And you pulled out a video camera and started filming?

19:16 Caller No, no, no, no, no. This was like several months on down the line, you know, because he wouldn't just leave me alone. He would come to my house and harass me and this and that. So I got to a point where I felt like I had to do something to fight back, right?

19:32 Adam Sure.

19:32 Caller And so I figured if I made the tape I could threaten to show it to his family or friends or whoever and keep it away from me.

19:39 Adam How did you make the tape though?

19:40 Caller I hid the camera. I was fixing to move and I had a bunch of boxes in my room and I hid it in a box.

19:47 Adam And he came in there and blew himself?

19:49 Caller Well, I had to set the stage, you know?

19:51 Adam Yeah.

19:52 Caller But, yeah.

19:53 Adam He would leave a trail of breadcrumbs over to the dildo, get him started?

19:57 Caller Yeah, right. No, I got him a sack of drugs, okay?

20:00 Adam I see. And so, when you say he was bouncing up and down on the dildo and blowing himself, which I respect in many ways, I mean, that's a fairly tall order. Yeah. How was the dildo attached to whatever it was attached to?

20:18 Caller It wasn't.

20:20 Caller He just...

20:22 Adam He just put it up in there and was pressing against the chair?

20:27 Caller It's amazing. Yeah. Or in the case of the movie, The Mattress. Right.

20:32 Adam I see. All right. So this guy's got some severe problems.

20:35 Drew Yeah. What's bizarre about this?

20:37 Adam And you decided to marry this guy, right?

20:39 Caller No.

20:39 Caller I didn't know all this. It was like a complete...

20:42 Adam You decided to marry this guy, though.

20:44 Caller No. Not knowing this.

20:45 Drew Yeah. It doesn't matter.

20:46 Adam It doesn't matter.

20:47 Caller Well, yeah.

20:48 Adam I would have known this guy was a weirdo if he drove past... If he was going past me the other direction on the 405, at 70, and I was going 90 the other direction.

20:58 Caller I don't know. A lot of people that I let... allowed to view it, right? They were pretty surprised.

21:05 Adam That's your worst nightmare, by the way.

21:07 Caller Yeah, I know. Thank you.

21:08 Adam Yeah. Let's put it to the court of public opinion.

21:10 Caller No, I know that. But...

21:13 Adam Who did you show this tape to?

21:15 Caller Oh, boy. A bunch of his friends. It made its way into his parents' VCR.

21:21 Drew What did you do? His parents are drug addicts, too, though, right?

21:24 Caller Well, no. They're alcoholics.

21:25 Drew They're alcoholics.

21:26 Caller They're frauding Social Security. They make money.

21:29 Adam How did it make its way into his parents' VCR?

21:32 Caller His uncle did it. His uncle took it in there for me.

21:36 Adam You know, we haven't talked about this in a while, Drew, but I like to call an airstrike in. Oh, yeah. Parents are committing welfare fraud. This guy's got a dildo up his ass. The uncle's ran him out.

21:48 Caller Well, I think there's a little more skeletons in the closet than that. And maybe, you know, with his family.

21:53 Drew What does he do for a living?

21:54 Caller He might be inner bread or something.

21:55 Drew What does he do for a living?

21:56 Adam He works with kids.

21:57 Caller He doesn't.

21:58 Adam I see.

21:59 Drew What does he do?

21:59 Caller Not anymore. He has to refinish furniture and give maintenance on rentals and stuff.

22:06 Adam I see.

22:06 Drew Not anymore.

22:07 Adam Yeah. All right. So Stacey, is this guy out of your life now?

22:10 Caller Oh, yes. He has been.

22:11 Adam Yeah, but Stacey. Good. Well, wait a minute. You got your 13 year old?

22:15 Caller Yes. That's not from that relationship. That's from a previous marriage.

22:18 Drew Oh, shocking.

22:19 Caller And I've been a single parent my kid's whole life. His dad's in the Navy and delinquent on court ordered child support.

22:25 Drew He probably got in the Navy because he was married to Stacey.

22:27 Adam Okay. No more kids, all right?

22:29 Caller No, no, no, no, no, no. Just one.

22:30 Adam Okay.

22:31 Drew Stacey, these are all stories of addiction. That's the story here.

22:35 Caller Okay.

22:37 Drew And you too probably are an addict, I suspect.

22:40 Caller Recovering.

22:41 Drew Yeah. Well, I don't know how much recovery you've got in you if you're hanging out with this kind of chaos.

22:46 Caller No, I moved on with my life. I got to move away from the town that I was stuck in.

22:50 Drew Well, how long have you been with your current sponsor?

22:54 Caller My what?

22:54 Drew That's what I mean.

22:56 Adam Drew always pops them on that one.

22:58 Caller I'm by myself. I have been for-

22:59 Drew I said, how long have you been with your current sponsor?

23:02 Caller What do you mean my current sponsor?

23:03 Drew See, that's not recovery, Stacey. You are not anywhere near recovery. Unless you have a long-standing relationship with a sponsor with whom you're working the steps on a daily basis.

23:13 Caller Right.

23:13 Drew You've got a long, long way to go.

23:16 Adam All right. For the sake of your child, please get involved with that. Don't worry about men right now. Worry about your 13-year-old and him not coming out anything like any guy you've ever been with.

23:28 Drew 85% of addicts, alcoholics are sex addicts, and they do weird ass stuff when they're doing heavier drugs. How else do you get stimulated when you're high on heroin?

23:37 Adam Ass is the operative word there, Dr. Drew.

23:39 Drew Weird ass stuff.

23:41 Adam She's calling from Bakersfield, and I got to tell you, don't get me wrong about Bakersfield, but I don't even know if I've been there, but I swear that place got to be some kind of hellhole, some kind of god-awful pit. Maybe it's bad as Sunline.

23:57 Drew Where you lived.

23:59 Adam Because I've only heard of freaks and weirdos in that entire place. All right. Oh yeah, Corn is from Bakersfield. Corn is from Bakersfield.

24:07 Drew Like you said.

24:08 Adam There you go.

24:08 Drew We like them.

24:09 Adam That's right, but they were smart enough to get out. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Sean. Sean had unprotected sex with girlfriend, didn't come, wants to know about the morning after pill. Well, after this.

24:26 Caller Hello? Is this Loveline?

24:27 Caller Call 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1.

24:30 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

24:37 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's sweetness over there, Dr. Drew, everybody.

24:45 Drew Sweetness, wow.

24:46 Adam Yeah. Just got done explaining to me when I was talking about what a dump the valley was. He grew up in the hoity-toity Pasadena area, so he didn't want to go over there and get his shoes dirty.

24:55 Drew He's a pansy.

24:57 Adam That's why he didn't know about the valley, where the real people are from. Salt of the earth, Sean.

25:03 Caller Yeah.

25:04 Drew Similar to that caller we had before the end of the second half.

25:07 Adam My kind of gal. You're 17. What's up?

25:11 Caller A couple of nights ago, me and my girlfriend decided to have sex, and we did it with a condom, and it wasn't really working.

25:18 Drew What does that mean?

25:19 Caller Like, I didn't really feel anything. Like, it didn't give me any sensation at all.

25:23 Caller Right.

25:24 Caller And so, like, she brought it up. She said, you can just do it and pull out. And I said no at first, but I wanted to see if it would feel better. So I just did it, but I didn't let myself even come close to coming at all.

25:36 Adam That must have been a nice, distracting experience for you.

25:40 Caller Yeah, I guess.

25:42 Drew Yeah.

25:43 Caller But I was wondering what are the risks of like the pre-com and that?

25:48 Adam Oh, no, idiot, idiot to use the S word on the air.

25:54 Drew There is risk. I would suggest the morning after pill. Suppresses ovulation. Use it within 72 hours. That kind of an experience. Make sure you don't get pregnant. 70% effective.

26:04 Adam And yeah, don't do that again. And you, I don't know. I was going to ask him if he was a dribbler or not, but I'm scared to talk to him now. Tim?

26:13 Yeah?

26:14 Adam You're 23. What's up?

26:15 Caller Guys, hey, how you doing? Good.

26:17 Adam What's up?

26:18 Caller Not much. Hey, I just had a question. I'm thinking about going to Africa with the joining the Peace Corps and fighting the AIDS campaign with my girlfriends. And I'm wondering what the chances of me being able to contract AIDS just from everyday life.

26:32 Adam You're not going to get, you'll probably get a burning tire put around you, but you won't get AIDS.

26:36 Caller I mean, there's...

26:37 Drew How would you get it from...

26:38 Caller Well, I don't know. I mean, it's just, you know, I've heard statistics, you know, where it's like one in nine people, you know, in some of the places where I'd be going.

26:45 Drew Yeah, they have sex with each other.

26:47 Caller Yeah. I mean, there's no way you could get it from any kind of foods or anything. I mean...

26:50 Drew No, oh man, if you're thinking like that, you shouldn't be going.

26:53 Caller Yeah. Well, you know, it's just something, you know, you know, it's just something I wanted to have some kind of, you know, closure on. I wanted to know...

26:59 Drew Believe me, they'll have you well prepped before you...

27:01 Adam You must be into these chicks.

27:04 Caller Yeah, yeah.

27:04 Adam You like this one chick, right?

27:06 Caller Yeah, yeah.

27:06 Drew Oh, she's going over there.

27:07 Adam That's why he's going.

27:08 Drew I see.

27:08 Caller Yeah, that too.

27:09 Adam Yeah, he don't give a rants ass about the Africans. He wants to get some tail.

27:12 Caller No, no, no. It's a little more than that, but...

27:14 Adam A little more, but not much.

27:15 Caller Yeah, yeah. But, you know, she brought up the idea. I can say that much.

27:19 Drew No kidding.

27:20 Caller Yeah.

27:20 Adam I can see him over there in Biafra somewhere. And it's like, yeah, this first village, you're going to help out, Tim? And he's like, huh?

27:28 Caller Oh, yeah. Hey, I'll be.

27:30 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah.

27:31 Adam Whatever. You want me to slap him or what do we need? Sure, sure.

27:33 Caller Here, you know, just give me.

27:35 Adam Here's an IV or something. Here's some water.

27:37 Drew What is exactly you're going to participate in over there?

27:39 Caller Well, I guess there's going to be a little bit of everything. I have a lot of contracting skills, so I guess we're going to be like helping build a hospital and do some other stuff like that.

27:47 Drew So for the Peace Corps?

27:48 Caller Yeah, yeah.

27:49 Adam Well, good times.

27:50 Caller Yeah, yeah, I think so.

27:51 Drew I think you're not going to be working directly even with AIDS patients.

27:54 Caller Yeah. I mean, I don't know. You know, it's been a few years since high school, so in the health class, so I didn't really understand, you know, I mean, I didn't know from cooked food that somebody could cook some meat or something.

28:06 Drew No, you have sex with these, listen, you have sex, you share a needle, you get AIDS. Okay.

28:10 Adam Let's, but you can get other things, so it's good to be careful.

28:14 Drew Yeah, believe me, I go to Africa, do you know how many other thousands of tropical diseases you can get? I mean, please.

28:19 Caller All right.

28:19 Adam Hey, Tim.

28:21 Caller Yeah.

28:21 Adam So let me try to figure out this chick. How long have you known her?

28:25 Caller Oh, how long have I known her? Yeah, years and years.

28:28 Caller Years and years. Yeah, like eight years.

28:30 Adam How long have you dug her for?

28:34 Caller Just about a year.

28:35 Drew No, no. Not how long have you been dating her?

28:38 Caller Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

28:39 Drew But how long have you been in there?

28:40 Caller Oh, in there years and years.

28:42 Drew Yeah.

28:43 Caller And a friend's older sister.

28:46 Adam She just finally came around a year ago?

28:48 Caller No, we just kind of finally were in the same place at the same time for a while.

28:52 Caller She caved in.

28:53 Drew She caved. You came after, after, after.

28:55 Caller Clicking, you know.

28:56 Adam Yeah. So you guys boyfriend and girlfriend now?

28:58 Caller Yeah, yeah.

28:59 Drew And so she's trying to go to Africa?

29:00 Adam Why is she going to Africa?

29:03 Caller It's just been her dream for years.

29:04 Adam I see. Does she want you to go?

29:06 Caller Yeah.

29:07 Adam You sure?

29:08 Caller Yeah. And I haven't really been able to give her a solid yes or no.

29:11 Drew So how did she bring it up to you?

29:14 Caller Just, it's something I've known about for a while, but it just...

29:18 Drew Yeah, but when did she bring up the idea of you going with her? I'm going to Africa.

29:21 Caller You in?

29:21 Caller Let me see.

29:22 Caller Earlier this... Early in the winter.

29:25 Drew And when she brought it up, how did she bring it up?

29:28 Caller Well, that she just wants me to go with her.

29:31 Caller All right.

29:32 Adam Fair enough. You guys are doing the Lord's work over there, Tim.

29:35 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

29:36 Adam And how long are you going to be there for?

29:38 Caller Two years.

29:39 Adam All right. Good times.

29:40 Caller Yeah.

29:40 Drew It'll be wild for you.

29:41 Adam I'm sure it'll only feel like 23 months.

29:44 Caller Yeah. I'm sure. Hey, you guys crack me up, man. All right.

29:46 Adam Thanks.

29:47 Caller Appreciate the help.

29:48 Adam Have fun over there.

29:48 Caller Yeah. Take care.

29:49 Adam Take care of those people.

29:50 Drew Portland to be offered.

29:51 Caller I mean, wow. Yeah.

29:54 Adam I mean, Portland and Africa.

29:56 Drew Very similar climates.

29:57 Adam Especially southern Africa.

29:58 Drew Oh, yeah. Everything's very similar.

30:01 Adam Culture, terrain.

30:02 Drew He's a contractor. I mean, same supply.

30:06 Adam He's probably in waterproofing.

30:11 Drew Do I get that just for that?

30:13 Adam No, he won't have a special. He's not a real contractor. I mean, he did a little work. He don't know anything. You want to see if he knows something? Yeah. All right. Tim? Oh, Tim hung up.

30:24 Drew Oh, there he is. There he is. All right.

30:25 Adam On Tim?

30:26 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

30:26 Adam You there? You know about contracting? Yeah. Yeah. What's your specialty?

30:31 Caller Probably plumbing.

30:33 Adam Interesting.

30:34 Caller A little bit of plumbing. I've done just about everything. Plumbing and framing.

30:38 Adam Go ahead, Adam. Yeah. Do you want me to give you a little test on framing?

30:43 Caller Sure. Sure.

30:43 Adam Okay.

30:44 Caller You'll probably win, but hit it up.

30:46 Adam Well, I'm just... It's not a competition.

30:48 Caller Oh, okay. Okay.

30:49 Adam All right. Studs are spread out. How often?

30:53 Caller See, you got me there. That's the basic...

30:57 Adam I'll give you multiple choice. 14 on center, 16 on center, or 24 on center?

31:04 Caller Uh, 16 on center.

31:05 Adam All right. Good. Good enough.

31:07 Drew Even I knew that one.

31:07 Caller See, I'm usually the person, hey, do this, and I'll okay, and I'll do it.

31:11 Adam Wow. Does your dad own a firm or something?

31:13 Caller No, no.

31:14 Drew That's not usually called a contractor. That's called a laborer.

31:18 Adam Oh, you're that guy. Oh, you're the laborer. Oh, you don't say do this. They tell you to do this.

31:22 Caller Yeah, yeah.

31:22 Adam All right, Tim. They got a real short as your manpower over there.

31:27 Caller That's what I heard. I heard they need any help that they can get.

31:29 Drew Well, that's what they're going for.

31:30 Caller All right.

31:31 Adam Get down, Timmy, my boy.

31:33 Drew How can somebody like that call themselves a contractor? What if you hired somebody like that and said, I'm a contractor?

31:38 Adam No, he's saying he's a willing guy, he's got a strong back and he doesn't mind digging.

31:42 Drew He said, I'm a contractor.

31:44 Adam Well, he said he had some contracting skills.

31:47 Drew He couldn't figure out how to put the studs on a fine.

31:50 Adam He guessed 16 on Saturday.

31:53 Drew I knew it.

31:54 Adam That's true.

31:54 Drew That's shocking.

31:55 Adam Drew, maybe you should be going to Africa, smart guy. Madeline? Yes. You're 19?

32:01 Caller Yes.

32:02 Caller I have problems starting relationships. I think it's, I've never had a serious relationship. And I don't know if I'm too picky, if I'm justified to feel that way.

32:13 Drew What would make you justified? What does that mean?

32:15 Caller I mean, I don't know. I just always seem to find something wrong with them.

32:19 Drew I mean, how about the last guy?

32:23 Caller Well, the last time I had a quote unquote boyfriend, I was in high school.

32:26 Drew Yeah.

32:27 Caller I only dated him for about a month.

32:28 Drew What was wrong with him?

32:30 Caller He just smothered me. I didn't have any free time.

32:33 Drew Are you meeting guys now?

32:35 Caller Not kind of. I mean, I run into him at clubs or...

32:39 Drew Why don't you just date a few guys? See if somebody kind of clicks.

32:42 Adam Are you good looking?

32:44 Caller I mean, I think so.

32:45 Adam Yeah. I kind of got that vibe.

32:48 Caller I don't know. I mean...

32:50 Drew Because the ones that are say, well, people say I am, but I don't know. She says, I think so.

32:55 Adam Oh. Yeah, it was interesting the way you answered that.

32:58 Caller Why?

32:59 Adam Well, I think so. As if you've been arguing with people for a long time.

33:04 Caller I mean, the thing is, I know what I want, and I don't think that I should... I don't want to date just anybody, just have a boyfriend.

33:10 Drew What do you want?

33:12 Caller What?

33:12 Drew What do you want?

33:13 Caller I don't know. I just...

33:14 Drew Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. I know what I want. What do you want? I don't know.

33:18 Caller Okay.

33:19 Adam Well, she'll know it when she sees it, right?

33:21 Drew Well, I want to hear what it is. It should be articulated.

33:23 Caller When I find a guy that I can actually talk to on an intellectual level...

33:27 Drew Well, you're not going to find that in a club, right? Right. Okay. So why don't you get involved in some projects, community service or something where you can meet people that might have similar...

33:35 Adam Yeah, go to Africa. Are you in school now?

33:39 Caller Yeah. I mean, I study abroad. I mean, I go places. I love to travel.

33:43 Drew Why aren't you meeting guys at school?

33:45 Caller I don't know. I just think that... I mean, if I go out with them, I just find something a little driving me crazy.

33:52 Adam Where's your dad?

33:53 Caller Oh, my dad, I mean, he's here and he's just... I think it has to do with the fact that he's just engraved in me that guys have one thing on their mind.

34:01 Drew Well, he's right.

34:01 Caller And I can't seem to get past that. I just like...

34:03 Drew Wait, how did he put this? I want to make sure my daughter gets it exactly right.

34:07 Caller Yeah, okay. I heard you say this the other night that you wanted to engrave this in your daughter without her rebelling, but my dad, he's just... He's always built my self-esteem, you know. He doesn't... He just basically tells me all the time that guys have one thing on their mind.

34:23 Drew That's true. They do.

34:24 Adam Well... They're not all bad. Drew, you're very passionate. Passionate man. You don't speak for all men.

34:30 Drew They're not all bad, but they're more motivated by that than women are.

34:34 Adam Does your dad tell you you're smart and beautiful and he loves you?

34:38 Drew Every day.

34:39 Adam No, sorry. You know what? Hold on a second.

34:42 Drew You can't say that to her.

34:44 Adam Rarely find this on the show, but she's just full of... Usually it's compensation that the parents withheld love and attention and so on and so forth. Dad abandoned the family or was abusive, and now there's some compensation going on. She's really just built herself up into more than she actually is, and she's having a little difficulty because...

35:02 Drew Reality isn't complying with that.

35:04 Adam You know what she's basically doing? It's like when you sell... You have a car that you like a lot, and you think it's a great car, and you go, this car's a classic, man. This thing's a beauty. And you put it in the paper, because I need $30,000, and everyone keeps coming by going, I'll give you $8,500, and you go, how dare you? This is an insult. But after a few times it's in the paper, it's like, that's the price. You got to come on down. I think Madeline is still up there. Madeline?

35:30 Drew Yeah?

35:30 Adam Yeah, I think you feel too good about yourself. I rarely say that on this show.

35:35 Drew It's not so much feeling too good. It's that listen to reality.

35:39 Caller Do you think I have too high?

35:43 Adam We rarely say this. No, it's not that your criteria is too high for other people. It's a little high for yourself.

35:52 Drew And you're insulating yourself from finding out where you really fit in the world.

35:57 Adam Yeah.

35:58 Drew You don't have to deal with the harsh reality that each of us deal with, where we fit.

36:03 Adam Just if you see a guy and you're attracted to him, go on a date or a fiasco. Just go on some dates and start moving around a little bit.

36:11 Drew You'll find lots of quality people. You will. People are good. Yeah.

36:14 Adam You will.

36:15 Drew But just don't get such inflated ideas about what it's all going to be like.

36:18 Adam And don't set out with a whole laundry list or a map to your heart or any of that. Just date.

36:25 Drew Just relate.

36:26 Adam See what happens. And, Drew, do you remember? You know what's weird? I haven't had it in a long time. Then maybe it's because I have a TV and a radio show or something and I'm living in some kind of false reality.

36:38 Drew Yeah, but.

36:39 Adam Yeah. Oh, what was I saying? But do you remember dating girls, especially when you were 20, 21, 22 and they were 19, 20, 21 in that age and you were just sort of getting a lot of them that weren't real satisfied and weren't real happy. They went on a few dates with you but didn't seem like they're crazy about you.

37:00 Drew Oh, absolutely.

37:01 Adam Like I haven't seen that in a while. As women get a little bit older, they get humbled or they act differently or they figure themselves out or something. I don't know what it is. It's a good thing, guys. You can look forward to that one day. But dating 18, 19, 20, 21-year-old girls, especially attractive ones, that's a pain in the ass. You'll get a lot of, I don't know what happened. I was really into them two weeks ago. And then we went out and he started talking about how he didn't like cats and that was it. You know what I'm talking about?

37:35 Drew I was bored.

37:36 Adam He didn't open the car door and I don't know, something weird. I just don't know. I didn't know why I don't like him. You know, I mean, they can go at 19. They can go from this dude was in my social studies class. I was checking him out all semester. He finally asked me out. I was on Cloud 9 to like, FET.

37:54 Drew In three days.

37:55 Adam Yeah. And when you say, what did the guy do? Did he take a swing at you? Did you get drunk? Did you find out he was a racist? I was like, no, I went into his house and it just had that smell. It wasn't bad.

38:08 Drew The kind of weird carpet.

38:10 Adam Yeah. Now he gives me the creeps. I had sex with him. I'm sorry I did it. Yeah. Guys, that's what you're in for. I say, that's why I only date women in their 30s or in their early, early teens.

38:25 Drew Before the ruin, huh?

38:26 Adam Yeah, before the ruin. Yeah. Okay. We'll take a little break. We'll be back.

38:40 Caller Aloha, this is Don Ho, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Art2Doo. Mahalo.

38:51 Adam There's an islander that's no stranger to the herb. Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Drew and I just really had a real, real soul letting out in the bathroom.

39:06 Drew Epiphany.

39:06 Adam Yeah. I don't know if it's going to ring true for everybody. But for me and Drew, oh yeah. We just carried on that conversation. We left off with the 19-year-old girls, the 20-year-old girls, the 18-year-old girls, and when you're 18, 19, 20 and you're dating them, how bad it is for you.

39:28 Drew As a male? Yes.

39:30 Adam How you have almost no vote, no say, and you're just... And you know, the other thing is, they're not usually that into sex at 18 or 19 either. They're into it, you know, with somebody...

39:44 Drew With Sting, with Bono.

39:48 Adam Right. Not your ass, not you. 19-year-old chicks don't like 19-year-old guys much at all. And if you're a 19-year-old guy who's dating a 19-year-old chick, it's like spinning plates. You got to keep moving.

40:04 Drew Well, tell me your analogy of the king.

40:06 Adam Yeah, Drew, this is wrong true to Drew. I said, I remember so many cute girls when I was 20, 21, who are 19 or 20, who I went out with, who I could tell were not much into me, but they went along for the ride anyway. And I likened it to the king, and I was like the court gesture. And I was juggling and spinning plates and doing a little dance and had bells on my hat. And I saw them sort of sitting in the throne, and they were, they seemed mildly amused for a short period of time. But then I saw them sort of yawn and lean back. And they never said it, but the queen grows weary, I think is what would have come out of their mouth.

40:52 Drew And then you speed up the plates and get over to going again. And now she's a little aggravated with you. She's a little frustrated. It's like, do Jester, vex Jester.

41:01 Adam Off with his head.

41:03 Drew Bring them on, it needs a rock band, please.

41:05 Adam Yes, I don't know. It's just bad times when you're a 20-year-old guy, it really is.

41:12 Drew If we're just 20, it'd be all right. But it starts around 13.

41:15 Adam Yeah. Ron?

41:17 Caller Hey, what's going on, guys?

41:18 Adam Hey, what's happening, Ron?

41:20 Drew It was an update.

41:21 Adam Oh, you're 24. Yeah.

41:22 Caller Yeah. I called you guys a few weeks ago. I don't know if you remember. I'm the EMT with the grandmother.

41:26 Drew And the granddaughter?

41:27 Caller Yeah. The hot granddaughter. I just want to let you guys know, man, if it wasn't for your show, I would not be dating her right now. We were having such a great relationship. Her grandfather surprised us. They had to trip for us for four nights and five days to the Bahamas because they're so happy we're going out.

41:45 Adam Oh my God. Anderson doesn't believe you now.

41:48 Caller What?

41:48 Drew Where in the Bahamas do you go?

41:51 Caller I'm sorry.

41:52 Drew Have you gone to the Bahamas yet?

41:53 Caller No, we're going in May.

41:55 Caller All right.

41:56 Caller The Grand Bahama Islands. Viva Fortuna. All expense paid the whole night.

42:00 Adam That is beautiful.

42:02 Caller I couldn't believe it.

42:03 Caller They took her to the day. They're so happy because I guess all the guys she went out with killed the same person. I guess they were scumbags or something like that. And they figured out I'm a nice guy or whatever for the work I do.

42:15 Drew Is she raised by the grandparents?

42:17 Caller What did you say?

42:17 Drew Is she living with the grandparents?

42:19 Caller Yeah, she lives with the grandparents. Unfortunately, her mom and dad were divorced and there was a really messy situation and things like that.

42:25 Drew Careful, Rod.

42:26 Caller She doesn't really have contact with them anymore.

42:28 Drew That's not first.

42:30 Adam It may be a little blowout on the island.

42:34 Drew Well, we'll have fun for those few days.

42:35 Adam Have good times, buddy. Ron, his connection was a little bad. He called me three, four weeks ago, told us he was interested in this chick who was a granddaughter of basically sort of some woman he worked on or worked with.

42:52 Drew That's an ambulance tenant.

42:53 Adam EMT, yeah. And then he asked her out because of the show. Oh, she asked him out. She gave him a flower. She heard the show. And now they're going to Bermuda or somewhere. God bless you. Michael?

43:09 Caller Hello?

43:10 Adam You're 24. What's up?

43:11 Caller Nothing much. I got a question for Dr. Drew. I had went to a strip club probably a couple of days ago. And when I was getting a lap dance, the stripper was pretty rough when she was on my lap.

43:25 Adam That's usually extra.

43:27 Drew Or maybe this is your friend Minka. What's her name?

43:29 Adam Minka.

43:30 Drew She's kind of rough, isn't she?

43:31 Caller Yeah.

43:32 Caller And when she was... I didn't even notice until I got home the next day. The top of my shaft, not the head, but the shaft, it was pretty swollen. And right now, it's been probably three days since I've been there. And still, it's a little swollen, but not as much, but it's pretty swollen still.

43:50 Drew Are you able to have an erection?

43:52 Caller Yeah, I can still have an erection. All right.

43:54 Drew No worry. That's fine.

43:55 Adam I smell lawsuit though. It's the...

44:01 Drew I can hear that case being presented.

44:03 Adam Yeah. Your honor. The people versus Thirsty McJuggo's.

44:12 Caller So I'm okay then?

44:13 Drew Yeah.

44:13 Adam Okay.

44:14 Caller I just wanted to know if...

44:15 Adam Yeah, you're fine. What'd she give you? The knee or was it the crotch?

44:18 Caller When she was on me, she was just riding me like a bronco, bro.

44:21 Adam Yeah. She was into you. She doesn't do that to most guys.

44:25 Drew She was in love with him, in fact.

44:26 Adam Something about you. Something about the short portly guy she likes. Number one. Number one. Yeah. You know what I love about that Minka?

44:36 Drew What? Everything.

44:37 Adam No, I'll tell you what. She's the number one Asian big boob queen.

44:41 Drew Number one Asian big boob queen. Poor thing.

44:48 Adam Now, there was some controversy. I thought she was number three for a while, but as it turns out, she has the crown. Who is number one? Minka is number one. That's who's number one. Come on, hit it again, Anishinaabemowin, it never gets old.

45:06 Drew Number one, Asian big boob queen.

45:11 Caller Don't play tennis no more.

45:18 Drew Are there other drops of Minka?

45:19 Adam I swear to Christ. I'd like to make some sort of virtual Minka doll. Just a big, just some box I could climb into and, you know, we take all these sound drops and we just create a virtual Minka. I can't get enough of her. I really can't. And, hey, Drew, she's not interested in money, you know that?

45:42 Drew Oh, yeah?

45:43 Adam No, I don't need money. You don't have to pay me. Minka don't need money. You'll pay now. You'll pay.

45:51 Drew Why, Minka, you're not into money.

45:52 Adam What do you want me to put in gas tank? Compliment? All right, we'll take a little break. We'll be back.

46:05 Caller Yeah, that's rock.

46:09 Adam I like that. American Hi-Fi.

46:13 Drew Yeah.

46:16 Adam Bringing me back to my old days, you know, Thin Lizzie. Sure.

46:20 Drew Humble pie.

46:21 Adam Kids can identify with that. Yeah, I could play some air drum to that. All right, let's hop back to the phones. 1-800-LOVE-191. Heather? Hello.

46:31 Caller How are you, Adam?

46:33 Adam Good. You're 23. What's going on?

46:36 Caller I actually had an embarrassing situation happen. I went to my doctor to get a normal, a gynecological exam. And when I went to him, I was expecting my female doctor was a male doctor. And he went ahead and did the pelvic exam. But at the same time, he informed me he was going to put a finger in both ends at the same time to check for something.

47:00 Drew Right. That's a normal part of the pelvic exam.

47:03 Caller And when he did that afterward, I felt uncomfortable because I didn't realize that at the same time they would put a finger in one end and then the other.

47:12 Drew That you do it where you put the third finger in the anus and the second finger in the vagina and you feel the septum between the two because there can be tumors there. That's part of the pelvic exam.

47:22 Adam Nice.

47:23 Caller That's totally normal.

47:24 Caller The embarrassing thing is that I told my boyfriend and he told his friends and they called it six-packing. So now I have this nickname that I got six-packed by my doctor. And it's totally humiliating.

47:37 Adam Yeah. I understand that.

47:38 Drew Well, I'm surprised. Is that your first pelvic exam?

47:41 Caller No. I've had them since I was younger.

47:44 Drew Was this one by an internist or a family practitioner?

47:47 Caller An OBGYN.

47:49 Drew He was an OBGYN for sure?

47:51 Caller Yeah. And a urologist.

47:52 Adam Hey, how much, how long a heads up did he give you?

47:56 Caller None.

47:57 Adam He just said, Went right in. Get ready. Here it comes.

48:01 Caller Yeah. And I didn't expect it to go on the other end. I thought it was just going in.

48:05 Drew I'm surprised it's the first time you've had that because that's a normal, that's a thorough exam. That's what normally should be done.

48:10 Caller I've had them do it, but they do it one at a time.

48:13 Adam I do that, no extra charge by the way. I throw in the six pack mode.

48:17 Drew Well, the dual action is a more accurate way to check that area.

48:22 Caller Seriously?

48:23 Adam Yes. Now, did he use some lubrication? A little. Yes. Let me tell you something about the finger in my rectum. I need a good week to ten days' notice on that.

48:36 Drew Did I have to do that to you?

48:37 Adam No. That's not the kind of...

48:39 Drew You asked me to, though.

48:41 Adam I was seeing if you loved me. I have never had a finger in the rectum, by the way. I'm looking forward to that day. I'm sure it's coming soon. But my thing is, I would really need a good heads up on that one. I need you to call my assistant and schedule that one. I couldn't get it while I was up there.

49:01 Drew I'm genuinely surprised that Heather's never had that before.

49:05 Adam You know what I'm saying? There would be some things I need to do physically and emotionally to prepare. First off...

49:13 Drew Spiritually, too.

49:14 Adam I'd give myself a good evacuation before I went over there.

49:18 Drew Sure you would.

49:19 Adam I would. I'd get a bottle brush up in there if I thought someone was putting their finger in it.

49:26 Drew Clams and pasta fazool, you'd be like...

49:28 Adam I'd take a nice shower. You'd be feeling up. I'd probably squirt a little Old Spice down there or something. Something just to make the experience a more pleasant one all the way around. Kelly?

49:41 Caller Hi.

49:42 Adam You're 19. What's up?

49:43 Caller Yes, I am. I want to say one thing. You're completely wrong about beautiful 19-year-old girls, by the way.

49:50 Adam No.

49:50 Caller Yeah, you are.

49:51 Adam No.

49:52 Caller Okay.

49:53 Adam Why? What's your deal? You got a boyfriend? You're madly in love with him?

49:57 Caller No, I always have a boyfriend.

50:00 Caller But that's my problem.

50:01 Adam You always have a boyfriend?

50:02 Drew Uh-huh.

50:03 Caller All right.

50:04 Drew There's a lot of people like that who are afraid to be alone.

50:06 Caller Well, I try to be alone, but when I'm alone, I'm really not quite depressed, but I'm just not happy.

50:14 Adam So how long have you been with the current guy?

50:17 Caller Um, about a week.

50:20 Adam About a week.

50:21 Caller About a week and a half.

50:22 Adam And what happened to the last guy?

50:27 Drew Um, it was...

50:30 Caller Things just didn't work out.

50:31 Adam Yeah, you grew weary.

50:32 Drew Yeah, the queen grew weary, sat back, thumbs down.

50:36 Adam Yeah, whatever.

50:37 Caller Right?

50:38 Adam Who broke up with who?

50:40 Caller It was pretty much mutual.

50:41 Adam Right. You broke up with him and he agreed to stay away.

50:45 Caller Well, we decided to slow down and I started seeing other people and...

50:49 Adam Right. Yeah. Why you... You're doing a great job of defending all the beautiful 19-year-old women out there.

50:55 Drew Well, no.

50:56 Caller It has to be the right guy, though.

50:57 Drew By behaving...

50:58 Caller The right guy that it's different.

50:59 Drew Yeah, we said if it's staying or...

51:01 Caller Sure.

51:02 Adam Bono.

51:03 Caller Sure.

51:04 Caller Because I've been the perfect woman before.

51:06 Adam I see.

51:06 Caller Just with the wrong eyes.

51:08 Adam I have no idea.

51:08 Drew What does that mean?

51:09 Adam I don't know. All right, so you're with this guy. It's been a week and a half. You got to slow down. Immediately start dating somebody else, right?

51:18 Caller No, it was a mutual slowdown.

51:20 Drew No.

51:21 Adam Right, but you were dating somebody before he was.

51:25 Drew Of course.

51:26 Adam I know, because that's what you can do.

51:29 Drew It was very painful for guys.

51:30 Caller Well, he could do it too.

51:31 Adam No. On paper, he can.

51:33 Drew Yeah, he would if he could.

51:34 Adam Then he just can't. How old was he?

51:38 Caller He just turned 25.

51:39 Adam Yeah, didn't have a whole lot going on in his life.

51:43 Caller Not particularly. That's why he moved on to the next guy.

51:46 Adam That's right. That's why he hasn't moved on yet.

51:49 Drew By the way, we were talking about being 19, trying to date other 19-year-olds. You won't even get into that league.

51:56 Adam Yeah. You wouldn't dip down to that. No. A guy with a bunch of roommates and living at home, borrowing his dad's car. No way. You're doing a good job of illustrating your point, Kelly. All right. So now you're with a guy. It's been a week and a half. And what's the deal?

52:16 Caller I don't know. Things are fine now.

52:17 Drew What's the question?

52:18 Caller But my question is, how come? Well, actually not really how come, but what can I do? I'm really uncomfortable with the fact that I can't be by myself. I've tried it and-

52:30 Drew Well, where do you think that's coming from?

52:35 Caller Probably family.

52:36 Drew What's the deal with your family?

52:38 Caller My mom died when I was 11.

52:41 Drew Of what?

52:44 Caller Just complications.

52:45 Drew Of what?

52:47 Caller She was a quadriplegic. She got pneumonia.

52:50 Drew What did she get the quadriplegia from?

52:52 Caller Car accident when she was 18.

52:54 Drew Wow, that's interesting. So hell was she when she had you?

52:58 Caller At 30.

52:59 Drew How interesting.

53:01 Adam Wow.

53:02 Caller She was a C5 quadriplegic.

53:03 Drew Wow.

53:04 Adam She hung out for a while. Yeah.

53:06 Caller And then my dad's a workaholic. I don't know. It probably stems from that.

53:10 Caller Okay.

53:12 Adam Well, you know what's going on.

53:14 Drew Boy, and you must have gotten used to being a caretaker.

53:17 Caller Yeah, I have a little sister.

53:19 Drew How about mom? Dealing with mom.

53:22 Caller No. She was a very, very independent woman. And she had people come get her ready in the morning and put her to bed at night.

53:28 Drew That's incredible. What a great story, though. Was she an inspiration to you or was it, was it?

53:34 Caller Oh, yeah. She was an incredible woman. She was a pain in the butt, but she was an incredible woman.

53:38 Drew What was she a pain in the butt? It must be hard to feel guilty, you know, thinking, oh, my mom's such a pain in the ass and she can't move her arms or legs.

53:44 Adam I'd get over that pretty fast.

53:45 Caller She was just very stubborn and we had nannies when I was little and we went through probably about 15 of them because none of them could stand to be around her, but.

53:53 Adam Right.

53:53 Drew How did you make, who's your dad's support of things?

53:57 Adam Yeah, workaholic.

53:58 Caller No, she worked too.

53:59 Caller That's why we had nannies.

54:00 Drew What did she do for a living?

54:01 Caller A lawyer.

54:02 Caller Ooh.

54:03 Caller Dad's a lawyer too.

54:04 Adam Uh-oh. Look out.

54:06 Caller Grandpa's a lawyer too.

54:07 Adam Oh, man. A long line of A-holes.

54:11 Caller That's gotta be rough.

54:13 Adam Yeah, but you know what?

54:13 Caller And I work for a lawyer.

54:15 Caller Oh.

54:16 Adam You know, here's one thing you gotta admit with most lawyers. Not all, but most. They all think they're smarter than you are and they're probably right most of the time or half the time. But I have a few friends that are lawyers and you'll start talking to them about where to eat lunch and next thing you know, it's like they might as well put a powdered wig on. These guys are making a case. It always bothers me.

54:40 Drew They're the expert on everything.

54:41 Adam Yeah. Yeah, Drew, you hate lawyers. That's what I love about you.

54:45 Drew Yes, you do.

54:45 Adam You hate lawyers. I like that. I like that. No, but you know, when you see these you know, Johnny Cochran types or maybe even Effie Bailey or half these guys, they're always just self-important, righteous sort of, I would call them pompous asses. I don't pull that one out too much, but a lot of lawyers are very sort of judgmental asses. Wouldn't you say? Maybe it comes from getting a lot of money and being in a position where you sort of affect the outcome of people's lives and things like that. And it's kind of an a-hole job. There's a few of them out there. It's not that being a lawyer makes you an a-hole. It attracts a-holes.

55:30 Drew They're also trained to be very aggressive.

55:32 Adam Trained to be a-holes.

55:33 Drew When you're aggressive, people don't want you around.

55:34 Adam Alright, so she's got a boy. It's been a week and a half. Let's see where it goes. And if it doesn't work out, which I bet it won't, let's see about being on your own for a little while. I mean, you know what you're doing. Just stay with it. Keep thinking about it. Amber?

55:52 Drew Yes.

55:52 Adam And she made every point we ever made about it.

55:54 Drew Made it better than we did.

55:55 Adam 19 year old girls being on a handful to date. Go ahead, Amber.

56:00 Caller Well, I am seven months pregnant and my mom just kind of won't accept the fact that I got pregnant and she doesn't talk to me or when she does, she gets really upset and ignores me.

56:14 Drew Where do you live?

56:16 Caller In Utah.

56:17 Drew Do you live near her?

56:18 Caller I live with her.

56:20 Adam Oh, bad times.

56:21 Caller Yeah, because she works too much. My parents are divorced so I have to help take care of my brothers and sisters.

56:28 Adam How many brothers and sisters do you have?

56:30 Caller I have two brothers and two sisters.

56:31 Drew What was your plan with the pregnancy?

56:33 Caller Well, we were going to be getting married in December.

56:36 Drew And what happened to him? Is he gone now?

56:38 Caller Yeah, sometime in September he started a new job and then he kind of met up with one of his old friends from high school and he started drinking, started smoking and started to get in a lot of fights. And I just told him I wasn't going to put up with it. And then about three weeks after that, I found out that I was pregnant and I called him up and he told him and he pretty much said that he didn't believe me and took off basically.

57:08 Drew You can have him take a look. I sent him a picture of how you're looking now. Well, he has a financial responsibility for this child.

57:16 Caller Yeah, well, he's in a coma right now.

57:19 Adam Still, he has a financial, really?

57:21 Caller Yeah.

57:22 Adam What happened?

57:23 Drew You sound pretty busted up about it.

57:25 Caller Oh, I'm just terrified. I'm just still so bad about it. No, but he got in a fight with his ex-wife's brother and he put him in a coma because him and like, I guess a couple of his friends really beat him up. I know he's in like Colorado or Arizona and he's in a coma.

57:45 Drew Colorado, Arizona, Portland, somewhere.

57:48 Caller I know he's somewhere and he's in a coma.

57:50 Drew Yeah, he's somewhere.

57:51 Adam And in a coma.

57:52 Caller Yeah.

57:52 Adam Yeah, you don't seem to care that much.

57:54 Caller No, I think he could die for all I care.

57:56 Adam Oh, okay. Good times.

57:57 Drew What about giving this child up for adoption?

58:00 Caller That's what I am trying to do, but my mom-

58:02 Drew Good for you. God bless you.

58:05 Adam Yeah.

58:05 Drew I mean, you got four other kids to take care of there. You really want to add them?

58:08 Caller I know that my financial situation isn't stable enough that I'd be able to take care of them.

58:13 Drew Amber, there's tons of people that want kids, please.

58:15 Adam That's right.

58:16 Drew Just call an adoption service. I guarantee you this summer it will be-

58:19 Caller Yeah, I'm working with-

58:20 Drew You could have an open adoption. Choose the parents. There's a lot of parents out there.

58:23 Adam There's even a program where you can trade them for RVs and custom vans now.

58:27 Drew Do you know that?

58:28 Caller I would not do it for money. That's not the-

58:31 Adam Wow. That's why they offer the RV.

58:33 Caller Well, anything material, I would not do it for.

58:36 Adam I see.

58:36 Drew I think it's great that you're thinking about that. I think it's a hero's, really. I think you have a great deal of support for this.

58:43 Adam I thought you were going to finish. No. Hey, Amber, your brother's and sister's are all younger?

58:50 Drew Yeah.

58:50 Adam And your dad's nowhere to be found?

58:52 Caller Well, he is, but we've gone after him quite a few times. And he really hasn't done anything. He's $26,000 behind.

59:01 Adam I see. He's in a coma in either Montana or Georgia right now. I'm not sure. All right. Hey, Amber, now you know I'm a genius, right?

59:12 Caller Oh, okay.

59:14 Adam Well, that was a ringing endorsement. You come from white trash, yes? And you are going to continue that rich, rich heritage of white trashdom by having a child out of wedlock with an abusive a-hole guy who's out of the picture. Or, you can sort of break the chain now, give the child up for adoption, do the courageous and noble thing.

59:41 Drew Try to help raise the kids that are coming up.

59:43 Adam Try to help and educate your younger brothers and sisters so they don't get into this predicament. Get out of the house, get some education, get a job, get married in a few years, start a family in a stable environment. You can really do all that.

59:59 Caller Yeah, I'm going to school and I'm a self-employed.

1:00:02 Adam Okay, but you won't be able to do it all when you have this kid.

1:00:05 Caller That's when it gets to derail.

1:00:07 Drew Amber, God bless you.

1:00:09 Adam Yes, and you give that child up for adoption, you don't listen to your mom. Your mom's a big thinker. That's clear.

1:00:19 Drew Take her number, let's check in with her again in two or three weeks, see what's going on with the adoption.

1:00:22 Adam That's right. Yeah. Listen to mom. Her plans work like a charm.

1:00:26 Drew Yeah.

1:00:27 Adam She can't raise her five kids.

1:00:29 Drew Five.

1:00:31 Adam It's always funny when they really get the sort of novelty number of kids and can't raise one. Like, well, I can't really raise one. But if I get five, they can start turning in on themselves and raising themselves, can't they?

1:00:43 Drew That's the drill.

1:00:44 Adam Maybe we'll start some kind of ban like the Cowsills or the King family or something like that. We'll take it on the road, we'll make some money. Dave?

1:00:52 Caller Yeah.

1:00:52 Adam You're 26.

1:00:53 Caller Yeah, I am.

1:00:54 Adam What's up?

1:00:55 Caller Hey, I haven't had a lot of sex or anything like that, but whenever I do, I can't ever finish. I can't come.

1:01:03 Drew How come?

1:01:04 Caller I don't know.

1:01:04 Drew Are you wearing a condom?

1:01:06 Caller Well, I used to always wear condoms, and then I blamed it on that, but one time I had one partner. I'd known her for a long time and everything. We didn't. I didn't have one, and I still didn't finish.

1:01:15 Drew Are you on medication?

1:01:16 Adam No. Have you ever had a long-term girlfriend?

1:01:20 Caller No.

1:01:21 Adam That's what you need.

1:01:21 Drew Can you masturbate to orgasm?

1:01:24 Yeah, a lot.

1:01:25 Drew A lot? Maybe too much.

1:01:28 Adam I'm good at that myself.

1:01:29 Drew Give yourself a couple of days break when you know you're going to have an encounter.

1:01:33 Adam No. He's never had a break-in chick. He's never worked his stuff out with a woman. You understand that concept, Dave? Yeah. You need to get yourself a girlfriend, and you need to get that girlfriend that you fart in front of, that you walk around naked in front of, that you do it in every room in the house with. Do you know what I mean?

1:01:53 Caller You're saying it's like a comfort thing then?

1:01:56 Adam I am saying, I'm trying to, I'm trying to liken it to something. I was talking to somebody today at The Man Show about hiring and firing people and that kind of thing. And if you hire an employee and you keep them for a week, and you fire them, and then you hire somebody else, and you keep them for a week, and you fire them, you never make any money, you never learn anything. Just when they're getting trained, just when they're getting settled in, they leave. And businesses lose money that way? Got it. You got to get with somebody, you got to work it out. One night stands, one night stands, one night stands, you'll never work it out that way. Find that one person. Look at it as a sort of a sexual catcher's mitt that you break in and hang on to for years to come.

1:02:42 Drew Kay, 19. Call her goes by Kay.

1:02:46 Caller Oh hi.

1:02:48 Caller Hi. Okay. My question is, well me and my boyfriend have been together for about two years and we're sexually active, I mean very active, we have sex all the time. But we'll go for a period of time but afterwards if I want to go again he can't seem to get it up after he comes the first time. He can never get it up twice.

1:03:12 Drew How much time do you give him between encounters?

1:03:16 Caller It'll take a long time before he can get it up again.

1:03:20 Drew How much time is that?

1:03:21 Caller It could take hours.

1:03:24 Drew And how often are you guys having sex?

1:03:27 Caller At least five times, six times a week.

1:03:32 Adam Not enough for you?

1:03:34 Caller Well, no. I mean...

1:03:36 Adam How long does it last when you're having sex?

1:03:40 Caller We go for probably like thirty-five minutes.

1:03:43 Adam Has he given you the oral sex?

1:03:45 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:03:46 Caller Definitely.

1:03:46 Caller No.

1:03:46 Caller The sex is awesome.

1:03:47 Caller And I'm not complaining. I'm wondering, because I mean, there's been a few times where I'd like to go again.

1:03:55 Adam Do you get an orgasm?

1:03:56 Caller Oh, yeah. Yeah? No. I've never had better sex. I mean, it's awesome.

1:04:02 Adam Good times. How old is he?

1:04:05 Caller He's going to be 22.

1:04:07 Drew How old?

1:04:07 Caller 22.

1:04:08 Adam I see. Is he really?

1:04:10 Drew Older than that, maybe?

1:04:12 Caller I'm sorry?

1:04:12 Drew How old is he? Really 22?

1:04:14 Caller Yeah.

1:04:14 Drew OK. It's funny.

1:04:15 Adam Sometimes people answer questions on the show like they're lying.

1:04:18 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:04:19 Caller No, he's going to be 22.

1:04:20 Adam Going to be 22. I see. Was he 20 or no?

1:04:24 Drew Oh, no.

1:04:24 Adam 21.

1:04:25 Drew All right. Well, listen, at the rate he's going, you know, an hour refractory period will be normal. So do not expect him to be able to immediately spring to action. That's not realistic.

1:04:36 Adam Yeah. There's really not a whole lot you can do for them to work.

1:04:39 Drew No. Nothing you can do about that. What you do is have less sexual encounters. Maybe once a week and then he'll be able to go several times or a lot longer.

1:04:48 Adam Yeah. You want to try that?

1:04:50 Drew Yeah.

1:04:50 Caller I figured that either it wasn't going to happen or he could like, I don't know, maybe train himself to, I don't know.

1:04:57 Drew No. There's no training. That is a biological event. It's a lockout period and it's called refractory period. When you're locked out, you're locked out.

1:05:06 Adam Yeah. These, I don't know, a few hours. I could have got it going faster than that.

1:05:12 Drew If you were having sex six times a week, a night? Six times a week, rather?

1:05:16 Adam Yeah, 21. Yeah.

1:05:18 Drew Six times a week and every time?

1:05:21 Adam I probably wouldn't have wanted to do it, but I could have if somebody pressed me.

1:05:25 Drew Right.

1:05:25 Adam You know, if I had a large crowd in the bedroom, they'd cheer me on.

1:05:28 Drew Sure.

1:05:29 Adam Cheering my penis' name, that kind of thing.

1:05:32 Drew What is your penis' name?

1:05:33 Adam I don't want to talk about it over there. If he hears that I was talking about him over there, it's over.

1:05:37 Drew It's something we would have heard about in the fight promotion or something.

1:05:40 Adam Right. Okay. Let's talk to Steve. Steve is 19 years old. Steve?

1:05:49 Caller No, this is Jason.

1:05:50 Adam All right. Jason?

1:05:52 Caller Man, Adam, I want to say you're a genius, man.

1:05:54 Drew You're great.

1:05:55 Adam Thank you. That's true.

1:05:56 Drew Thank you.

1:05:57 Caller I got a question about a sleeping disorder. Like sometimes it probably happens like three times in a month or so. I'll be laying down about to go to sleep and I won't be asleep yet, so I'm not dreaming. But all of a sudden, like I'll fall into like sort of like a relaxing type sleep or whatever, but I'm still awake and my body would go paralyzed. And then like a warm feeling to run from like my head to my toe. And then once that's done, then I won't be paralyzed anymore.

1:06:23 Drew Well, that's basically like a hypnotic state you get into.

1:06:25 Adam Instead of that or a stroke.

1:06:27 Drew Sometimes these can be seizure experiences. Did you have night terrors when you were a kid? Get up screaming in the middle of the night when you were a kid or anything?

1:06:34 Caller No, not really.

1:06:36 Drew Did you sleepwalk?

1:06:37 Caller No, I've never had that.

1:06:39 Drew Alright, and this just came on all of a sudden?

1:06:41 Caller No, it's been going on probably since I was 14.

1:06:44 Drew And are you on any medication?

1:06:46 Caller No, not at all.

1:06:47 Drew I wouldn't think it would be worth looking into just to make sure it's not something unexpected, but it's been there five years, it hasn't gotten worse. It's probably just a normal, well, a not significant abnormality of your sleep.

1:07:01 Adam Yeah. You know, it's weird. How come, Drew, riddle me this? Sometimes every night for a month, I'll get up and take a leak in the middle of the night.

1:07:12 Drew And then suddenly you don't again.

1:07:15 Adam It's been a month. Go eight hours. No wisdom.

1:07:18 Drew Typically, that is as much as anything, your prostate being irritated, excessive masturbation, that sort of thing will irritate the prostate.

1:07:25 Adam How dare you involve my prostate in frequent masturbation in this conversation?

1:07:29 Drew And your bladder will empty fully. And so you have a little…

1:07:34 Adam So if your prostate gets irritated and swells up…

1:07:38 Drew Two things can happen. It can increase the urge to pee and it can also decrease your ability to empty completely.

1:07:44 Adam I'm known for my duration and thickness of stream when urinating.

1:07:49 Drew Yes. I'm pleased.

1:07:50 Adam Thank you.

1:07:51 Caller Oh boy.

1:07:54 Adam We're going to take ourselves… Oh. What? My ass. Well, I was in a reclined position for a while. You ever lay way back in a chair and really get yourself kind of get your feet up, kicked up on something or whatever and then you sit up real quick and you get that sharp pain in your coccyx?

1:08:10 Drew No. Never.

1:08:12 Adam Is it coccyx?

1:08:13 Drew Coccyx.

1:08:14 Adam There's an S in the end of it?

1:08:16 Drew It's CCYX.

1:08:18 Adam Nice. But you wouldn't call it a coccyx?

1:08:20 Drew Coccyx.

1:08:22 Adam Thank you. How long is your penis again? We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back after this.

1:08:31 Caller Hello?

1:08:33 Caller This is Loveline. Everybody on the floor, this is Ice-T. You're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt.

1:08:46 Caller Yeah.

1:08:48 Adam I haven't seen Ice-T out here for a while. I kind of get that feeling he does that every time he does a radio liner, though, don't you?

1:08:54 Drew Yeah, same.

1:08:55 Adam Yo, everyone, get on the floor. This is Ice-T. You're listening to Lunch Station with ya?

1:09:02 Caller Yeah, everybody on the floor.

1:09:03 Adam Yeah. I like to see Ice-T in here. It's been a while. He's a nice guy. Yeah. I just saw him, one of those behind the music song. Very interesting. Oh, boy. Let's see. Four. Four? I don't know why I'm up there anyway. Chris?

1:09:20 Yeah.

1:09:20 Adam You're 25. What's up?

1:09:22 Caller Oh, nothing. Just wondering how you guys doing?

1:09:24 Adam Good times. Good times.

1:09:26 Caller Oh, nothing but the best, right? Yeah. Listen, I like to take it in the ass, but only when my wife's giving it to me in the ass.

1:09:34 Caller I'm not turned on by guys.

1:09:35 Caller I'm not gay.

1:09:36 Caller What's the reason for that?

1:09:38 Drew You're gay. How does your wife do this?

1:09:40 Adam He doesn't beat around the bush, this guy, either. He gets right to it.

1:09:43 Drew He's been to finishing school.

1:09:44 Caller I beat around the bush a little bit, too, but, you know, on a case...

1:09:47 Drew He's all class.

1:09:52 Adam That's what you like, Chris.

1:09:55 Caller What's up with that?

1:09:56 Adam I don't know. There's no telling with your ass.

1:09:59 Caller Oh, come on. What about that guy they called that said he could blow himself?

1:10:04 Adam Well...

1:10:05 Caller The lady said he could blow himself?

1:10:07 Adam Yep.

1:10:07 Caller If you could blow yourself, would you leave the house?

1:10:10 Adam Well, eventually, you'd have to head out and get more paper towels or something, wouldn't you? And eventually, you'd have to... Oh, I bet they mean leave. I think they mean for long periods of time. I just put Chris on hold because he sounded like a pain in the ass. Here's the thing about blowing yourself.

1:10:28 Drew Please, what is the thing about that?

1:10:30 Adam Well, it's like my grandpa used to say. You know, you've got to stuff your head halfway up your ass to get to your dork.

1:10:38 Drew Right.

1:10:38 Adam And that's the bad part about blowing yourself.

1:10:40 Drew I just want to imagine your Hungarian grandfather saying that for a second.

1:10:44 Adam Yeah. He's a very wise man.

1:10:46 Drew Stuffing your head.

1:10:47 Adam No, it wasn't Italian. It's... If you could get your penis off and have had it in a sort of comfortable fashion, you know, that's one thing. But when you really have to just bend over and essentially sever your spine so you can get to your penis, that's no good.

1:11:03 Drew It depends how long the guy's penis was.

1:11:05 Adam Well, that's true, too. Yeah. Nate?

1:11:08 Caller Yo.

1:11:09 Adam You're 22. What's up?

1:11:10 Caller I'm 22. All right. What's up, guys?

1:11:13 Adam Good times.

1:11:15 Caller Good stuff. All right. I just had a quick question. It might sound kind of odd, but, all right. I've been having, like, wet dreams, like, I'm talking like three, four, sometimes five times a week.

1:11:28 Drew And this is something new for you?

1:11:30 Caller It's been going on about probably about two months, maybe.

1:11:36 Adam Three, four, five times a week. Really?

1:11:38 Caller I swear.

1:11:39 Adam You really had a week where you had a wet dream five nights?

1:11:43 Caller I swear. I know. I feel kind of freakish.

1:11:46 Adam Oh, man.

1:11:47 Drew Anything you want on medication?

1:11:49 Caller I'm on acrylate for asthma, if that means anything.

1:11:52 Drew How long have you been on the acrylate?

1:11:54 Caller What's that?

1:11:54 Drew How long have you been on the acrylate?

1:11:57 Caller Maybe two, three years.

1:11:59 Adam You're not on any spunkatol or Jizerov or anything like that?

1:12:04 Caller Any what?

1:12:05 Adam No.

1:12:06 Drew You're not on an Accutane, are you?

1:12:08 Caller No. I took it when I was like, I don't know, 16 or something like that.

1:12:13 Adam That's interesting. He did kind of find it somewhere in his past. Do you know what you're dreaming about? Are you dreaming about sex?

1:12:23 Caller A good majority of the time. Most of the time, I don't really remember.

1:12:25 Drew You're not thinking steroids or any supplements, steroids?

1:12:28 Caller I just wake up and it's like, damn it, I have to clean this stuff up.

1:12:31 Drew Nate, a supplement, steroids, anything like that?

1:12:37 Caller Well, not steroids, like, you know, inject, like, try to be a WWF guy or anything, but you know, if I like, if my asthma acts up in a bad way, which hasn't happened in a while.

1:12:46 Drew Prednisone, prednisone.

1:12:47 Caller Yeah, prednisone, you got it.

1:12:49 Adam Yeah, well, maybe that's it.

1:12:51 Drew No, prednisone shouldn't do that.

1:12:53 Adam Well, he, I mean, five times a week sounds like a lot, because-

1:13:00 Drew Is he not masturbating?

1:13:01 Adam Well, here's the, well, who's got time? He's leaking all night.

1:13:04 Drew Well, maybe if he started doing that, on the maintenance plan.

1:13:07 Adam Nate?

1:13:07 Caller Yo.

1:13:08 Adam Just like the advice we would give to someone who wet their bed is to make sure they evacuate their bladder before they go to bed. Can you evacuate your balls before you go to bed?

1:13:18 Caller Oh, I'm sure I could.

1:13:19 Adam Yeah.

1:13:20 Caller Like I was saying, it's just I've had a girlfriend I've been pretty active with for like a couple months.

1:13:24 Adam Alright, but here's the point.

1:13:26 Caller Yo.

1:13:27 Adam Either you whack yourself off or God does it for you in your sleep.

1:13:31 Caller I guess God's a nice guy.

1:13:33 Adam Yeah, do you want the Lord busy with your sack? Or do you want him out saving starving children?

1:13:39 Drew What's that? So it's this new relationship got you all stirred up? Is that the deal?

1:13:43 Caller I don't know. It's just I...

1:13:44 Drew Sounds like it.

1:13:46 Caller Maybe that is what it is. It is a very good relationship.

1:13:49 Adam How long do you last when you're with her?

1:13:52 Caller I last forever.

1:13:53 Adam Oh, really?

1:13:54 Caller Yeah.

1:13:54 Caller It's just another problem is I don't get off from it.

1:13:57 Drew Oh.

1:13:58 Caller And she thinks that I'm not satisfying her.

1:14:02 Caller Pardon me.

1:14:03 Caller She's not satisfying me.

1:14:04 Drew Here's the problem.

1:14:05 Caller Yeah. And you know...

1:14:07 Adam Oh, okay.

1:14:08 Caller It makes her feel inadequate.

1:14:10 Adam Okay. Well, Nate, if you're having sex with somebody for a long period of time, you never reach orgasm and then you go to bed that night.

1:14:20 Drew Your body's got to rid itself of something.

1:14:21 Adam Yeah.

1:14:23 Drew Absolutely.

1:14:25 Adam Yeah. I mean, I can just see it now. It's like she's in the shower. He's watching a rerun of the A-Team. His balls are like going, what's up? What is up with this? His penis is like, shh, shh, relax, relax. I got a plan. What, what, what, what, what? What do you mean?

1:14:43 Drew What, he's not looking.

1:14:44 Adam Well, he's riding her like a mechanical bull for an hour and a half. I got nothing. Hey, balls, chill out. I know what I'm doing. You'll see. We'll have our day. Give it about an hour.

1:14:56 Drew Or night, as the case might be.

1:14:58 Adam Right. Then he falls asleep. It's like, hey balls, yeah, let's go. Everyone out. Move, move, move. That's what happened.

1:15:05 Drew It's bizarre, though, that he's found this, like, difficult to understand. Did you hear him? He's like, oh, really, what? Really?

1:15:12 Caller That's sort of weird. It's just kind of, you know, it's just weird.

1:15:16 Adam Yeah, you're not, you don't know a lot about life or math or anything like that, do you?

1:15:23 Caller Math's a negative. I'm not too hot with math.

1:15:26 Adam Shocking.

1:15:26 Caller It means anything.

1:15:27 Caller Shocking.

1:15:28 Adam Well, there's just some easy sack math we can do here, which is you're humping all night and not having an orgasm and then you go to bed without having one and then you have one in your sleep. Now, if you'd gotten off with your girlfriend an hour earlier, you wouldn't be having it. You wouldn't be having it.

1:15:46 Drew The question is why? Are you nervous about your girlfriend?

1:15:50 Caller In what sense? What do you mean by nervous?

1:15:56 Drew Just use your imagination.

1:15:57 Adam Drew, have you ever really had to define being nervous?

1:16:00 Caller Well, I'm, okay, well, she, like I said, she is kind of new, and I mean, I really like her a lot.

1:16:06 Adam Okay. Why don't you beat yourself off before you go to bed? Are you religious?

1:16:11 Caller I don't, hell no.

1:16:13 Adam What is wrong with you, son?

1:16:15 Caller I, good question.

1:16:16 Caller That's why I'm calling, man.

1:16:18 Adam Well, listen, you're, okay, but you're 20, now all the other 22-year-old guys are listening, like driving off the road right now. I mean, you're 22 years old. You have a long sexual encounter with a young woman. You don't reach orgasm. Then that woman goes home or you go home and it happens. And you don't beat yourself before you go to bed.

1:16:39 Caller No.

1:16:42 Adam That to me is like you may have a tumor or something. I mean, that is, I don't even know what planet you're from. You're from Mork or Ork. Where was Mork from? Ork?

1:16:52 Caller I don't know. Good question.

1:16:55 Adam All right, Nate, you, if you do not, you whack yourself off before you go to bed every night. Do you understand?

1:17:02 Caller You want me to do that?

1:17:03 Adam Yes. Yes. For me.

1:17:04 Caller Why should I whack it off when I do it in my sleep?

1:17:07 Adam All right. Well, then spread a gym shirt down or something so you don't ruin everything.

1:17:12 Drew Dude, you beat off? What a strange wiring. I'm sorry. I know it offends you.

1:17:20 Adam I know. I'm just picturing Nate like around the stove, like putting his hand over the flame and then burning it and pulling it back and looking curious for a minute and then putting his hand back over the flame again. Like, I mean, don't reptiles have enough wiring to figure this one out? You calling in why you're having a wet dream?

1:17:42 Drew Yeah. And then a little incense that you should suggest he masturbate. Like what?

1:17:48 Adam Okay. Yeah. Nate, you either have it with her or you have it at your own hands literally before you go to bed.

1:17:53 Drew But why? God does it for me. All right.

1:17:55 Adam Well, then don't do it. I wouldn't. I don't know. Five nights a week. What's he need a girlfriend for when he's got a five nights, five nights a week worth of wet dream?

1:18:03 Drew See, I think where your head goes like, look what he's missing. Right?

1:18:07 Adam What do you mean?

1:18:07 Drew All those possible masturbatory experiences.

1:18:10 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:18:11 Drew I think he's missing all that. He doesn't really remember having orgasm in his sleep.

1:18:15 Adam Yeah.

1:18:15 Drew Adam, I know it's tough for you to take.

1:18:17 Adam I'm disgusted with the two of you. You, your penis and your testicles. Lola?

1:18:23 Caller Yeah.

1:18:23 Adam You're 21?

1:18:24 Caller Yes.

1:18:25 Adam What's up?

1:18:26 Caller Well, I went home with somebody the other night and that's kind of out of character for me. I kind of let loose with this guy because obviously he was a stranger with like the spanking and like the hair pulling and everything. I felt guilty about it but now we got along really well and like he made a big deal out of like wanting to get my number and stuff and I feel even more guilty now because he hasn't called.

1:18:59 Drew How long ago was it that this happened?

1:19:03 Caller About a week ago.

1:19:04 Caller Nope.

1:19:07 Drew Was it a week or is it?

1:19:08 Adam Where did you meet him?

1:19:10 Caller I met him at a bar. Yeah.

1:19:13 Adam Spanking and hair pulling, huh?

1:19:15 Caller Yeah.

1:19:16 Adam You guys, were you a little drunk?

1:19:18 Caller Yeah, just a little bit.

1:19:19 Adam Good times.

1:19:20 Caller Yeah.

1:19:20 Adam And how old is this guy?

1:19:23 Caller He's 26. Yeah.

1:19:26 Adam And so you guys, you got into a little rough trade, as Drew calls it. I don't know what that means.

1:19:31 Caller I just feel like I'm totally bad. Like, you know, well, I was raised Catholic, so obviously.

1:19:37 Adam Right.

1:19:37 Caller But I feel kinky or something. Like, he rejected me because I'm too kinky.

1:19:42 Adam Yeah. Do you like the guy, though?

1:19:45 Caller Yeah.

1:19:45 Adam Well, you like him more now that he hasn't called, though, right?

1:19:48 Caller Yeah, exactly.

1:19:49 Drew Oh, gosh.

1:19:50 Adam I mean, when you drove home, when you drove home, and be honest, and I don't even know if you can answer this, but see if you can.

1:19:57 Caller OK.

1:19:58 Adam Well, if he had called you the following morning with a little air of desperation.

1:20:03 Caller Oh, I would have hated that.

1:20:05 Adam Yeah. Like what? Watch out. I'll be him. All right?

1:20:08 Caller OK.

1:20:11 Adam Lola?

1:20:11 Caller Yeah.

1:20:12 Adam Hi. It's Brad from last night.

1:20:15 Caller Q.

1:20:16 Adam I can't stop thinking about you. Uh-huh. I just keep. I remember I met you over at Q's.

1:20:21 Caller Yeah.

1:20:22 Adam Yeah. I can't stop thinking about you. I can't stop. I want to get together. Can we get together tonight?

1:20:26 Caller No.

1:20:29 Adam Right. But if you ran into him.

1:20:32 Caller Yeah.

1:20:33 Adam Two weeks from now at some bar, you'd be like so hot for him, wouldn't you? Yeah.

1:20:39 Caller But why do you?

1:20:39 Adam All based on him not calling.

1:20:41 Caller Yeah.

1:20:42 Adam That's great.

1:20:42 Caller But I don't understand.

1:20:43 Adam You guys are geniuses. Do you hear me?

1:20:45 Drew You don't understand why?

1:20:46 Caller Why does he, like, why do guys make such a big deal out of wanting to get your number and then they don't call?

1:20:52 Adam Well, after he just got done banging the bejesus out of you and he's got a mouth full of your hair, he's got to say something. He's not going to say, yeah, he's not going to say have a nice ride home, baby. I'll see you in the next life. Hey, that was great, give me your number.

1:21:08 Caller Yeah.

1:21:09 Adam He could have lost it.

1:21:11 Drew No.

1:21:11 Caller No, he put it in his phone book. He made sure that it was in his phone book.

1:21:16 Adam Sometimes there's fires.

1:21:17 Drew Listen, he still could call.

1:21:19 Caller Really?

1:21:20 Drew It's only been a week, right?

1:21:21 Adam No. What a call if he was in to you.

1:21:23 Drew But he'll call for a little service.

1:21:25 Adam What if he's good? Huh? He's smart. He's smart. Yeah. He hasn't been drunk yet, probably.

1:21:31 Caller Oh.

1:21:32 Caller Yeah.

1:21:33 Adam He'll call you when he's loaded. The phone is going to ring at like 145 on a Tuesday, a week and a half from now.

1:21:39 Caller Yeah.

1:21:40 Adam And it's going to be like, what's up? You stinking whore.

1:21:44 Drew You know, I got a big discussion with the Mars Venus group today about why guys wait three or four days before they call again.

1:21:48 Caller Yeah.

1:21:49 Adam I'll tell you why. Because if you call the next day, you're screwed.

1:21:51 Drew You're screwed to call the next day. But listen, usually you go out Friday or Saturday.

1:21:55 Caller Yeah.

1:21:55 Drew And three or four days later, you're starting to plan again for the weekend. Yeah. You're calling Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

1:22:00 Adam No, this guy ain't calling. Yeah. Maybe if he gets good and liquored up, but I doubt it.

1:22:06 Caller Should I take it personally?

1:22:07 Adam Well, listen, you live by the sword, you die by the sword. I can't help it, but I'm happy this guy doesn't call. Because I know you would have crapped on if he called the next morning.

1:22:15 Caller Yeah.

1:22:16 Adam Yeah. So you got to think about that. And don't worry about it. Listen, you had a one night stand. Everyone does that. It's all right.

1:22:24 Caller I didn't feel guilty.

1:22:25 Adam No, you got it out of your system.

1:22:27 Caller OK.

1:22:27 Adam You can check it off and move on with life.

1:22:30 Caller All right.

1:22:30 Adam All right, baby. Good times.

1:22:32 Caller OK.

1:22:32 Adam It's no big deal. Everyone's done it.

1:22:35 Caller All right.

1:22:35 Adam All right?

1:22:36 Caller Thanks.

1:22:36 Adam All right.

1:22:37 Caller Bye.

1:22:37 Adam Yeah. She really would have hated the guy if he called the next morning. That's what I love. He would have called if he was really into her. He would have called a couple of days. He would have wanted to call the next day or the day after that. He would have sat on it for a little while.

1:22:52 Drew But if he's looking for a service agreement, I'm going to be calling him every week or two.

1:22:56 Adam Yeah. He may also have a woman.

1:22:59 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:23:00 Adam You see that?

1:23:01 Drew Yeah.

1:23:02 Adam If you ain't getting that drunk service call within the first couple of weeks, there's someone else around.

1:23:07 Drew Yeah.

1:23:07 Adam Someone has found a number, somebody's come home, someone's back in town.

1:23:11 Caller All right.

1:23:11 Adam We'll be back.

1:23:15 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:23:24 Adam Hey, hey, hey, yeah. That's rock and roll, everybody. Did I say that in the last song, too?

1:23:31 Caller Yeah. Oh, okay.

1:23:33 Adam I know what the kids want to hear, Drew. That's why I'm man in the helm. I'm Adam Corolla's Dr. Drew.

1:23:50 Drew You're going to some sort of fugue state when they play this.

1:23:58 Adam And do it with style. He does it with me. Oh, yes, he does. Drew, sing it.

1:24:07 Drew No, thanks.

1:24:09 Adam I tell you, they should win. I don't know what you get for scoring porn movies. Is it a Tony or a baloney or spunky or whatever gift they get? They should really, the award should be given to whoever scored taboo too. I'm so Pavlovian too. He just fires a song if I go right into it.

1:24:27 Drew Yeah, it was a fugue.

1:24:28 Caller A fugue state.

1:24:32 Adam What is that, like before coma?

1:24:34 Drew It's just your altered state. You're just away.

1:24:38 Adam When you speak in tongues.

1:24:39 Drew Yes, exactly.

1:24:40 Adam John?

1:24:41 Drew Yeah.

1:24:42 Adam You're 19?

1:24:42 Drew Running away.

1:24:44 Adam Fugue means what?

1:24:45 Drew To run. To run away.

1:24:48 Adam Like a fugitive? Okay. What's up there, John?

1:24:52 Caller I'm 19.

1:24:55 Caller I weigh about 200 pounds now.

1:24:57 Caller When I was about 15, 16, I was 300 pounds. Big kid. And I lost about 60 pounds in two months, which isn't real healthy.

1:25:07 Drew Wow. How'd you do that? Just didn't eat.

1:25:10 Caller Yeah. It was kind of an awkward situation.

1:25:12 Adam But, hey, let me ask you a quick question, John. Your parents, when they got a kid who's lumbering in at three bills and he's 15, are they trying to cut you off at a certain point or put you on a diet or is mom watching what she's bringing home from the market?

1:25:30 Caller My whole family is big. I mean, no one's like outrageous. I mean, I'm 6'3 right now.

1:25:36 Caller I was probably 6 then.

1:25:38 Caller I'm still 300 pounds, but I'm not looking overwhelming.

1:25:43 Drew What's the question?

1:25:44 Adam That's 300 pound 15 year old is a load.

1:25:48 Drew Yeah, it is.

1:25:49 Caller I understand.

1:25:50 Adam I know. I'm always wondering what's going on in the parents' head when the kid's 300 pounds at 15 is going to have a heart attack at 17. It's like you're making the chimichangas.

1:26:00 Caller Yeah.

1:26:00 Adam All right. So, now you're 200.

1:26:03 Caller Yeah, I'm about 200 pounds. I'm almost 20 years old, but I still have all this skin and all this fat that isn't going anywhere no matter what I do.

1:26:13 Drew The loose skin.

1:26:14 Adam Yeah.

1:26:15 Caller And there's still some fat there. I mean, I think, I mean, I don't, I mean, I work out, I mean, frequently and stuff like that.

1:26:22 Drew Yeah. Well, frequently people lose a ton of weight, need to see a plastic surgeon or will often see plastic surgeon to get that excess skin taken away.

1:26:29 Caller But is there a way to get to go around that without going to a plastic surgeon?

1:26:32 Drew Not if it's really excess skin.

1:26:34 Adam Well, all right, I'm no doctor, but I still contend I'm smarter than Drew. And at 19, you got a little time. I mean, your body was stretched out for a good long time. And it's recently in its new shape. Yeah. And this ain't going to take six or eight weeks. No, I mean, this transformation could take a couple of years. But I would bet, and I don't know if it will completely ever go away without some plastic surgery. But I will bet if you're very disciplined in your diet and you're very disciplined with your exercise and you do a lot of, you know, high repetition stuff and, you know, skipping rope and that kind of stuff and not bulky stuff and you watch your carbohydrates and all that good stuff, that within a year or so, a lot of this is going to go away.

1:27:25 Drew Could be. Could be.

1:27:26 Adam And then if nothing happens by the time let's say you're 21 or so, then you can go to a plastic surgeon and they can get rid of it. They do this all the time. They enjoy it.

1:27:38 Drew Very reasonable.

1:27:39 Adam They use the extra skin to make lampshades.

1:27:41 Drew Nice.

1:27:42 Adam Yeah, that's what Dr. Marcel was saying. Kenny?

1:27:45 Caller Yeah.

1:27:46 Adam You're 28. What's up?

1:27:49 Caller Basically me and my wife about four or five months ago started seeing a marriage counselor and a lot of our problems are worked out except for the fact that she has very low libido. I have very high so that was probably our main topic while seeing this therapist. I took a problem that was very small and made it very huge. The therapist called me in by myself which I thought was odd about two days ago and when I went in we which she was basically lying and wait for me.

1:28:25 Adam What do you mean?

1:28:26 Caller We did it.

1:28:27 Caller We did it.

1:28:28 Caller I nailed her.

1:28:30 Adam Really?

1:28:31 Drew That's bizarre.

1:28:32 Caller Well, it is and I'm...

1:28:34 Drew You got to report this.

1:28:36 Adam Wait a minute. Wait. He reports her. He reports him.

1:28:40 Caller She's too good to report to tell you the truth.

1:28:43 Drew Well, you're getting yourself in some very dangerous territory. And this person is dangerous. I would strongly urge you to call the Consumer Affairs. Make it anonymous. You can make it anonymous.

1:28:53 Adam How old is she?

1:28:54 Caller She's... I'd say... I don't exactly know. She's not quite 40.

1:28:58 Adam Do you want to... like to leave your wife for her?

1:29:03 Caller No.

1:29:04 Caller You know, it's just... I'm like looking inside in my coping mechanism and it's telling me just to bolt out of everything. And I... I don't know if I want to do that.

1:29:14 Caller I just...

1:29:15 Drew Leave both of them?

1:29:16 Caller Just leave.

1:29:17 Adam Okay. Well, look. Kenny?

1:29:19 Caller Yeah.

1:29:19 Adam Understand this. As you know, I'm a genius.

1:29:23 Caller Yeah, I know.

1:29:23 Adam Because I announce it repeatedly every night.

1:29:25 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:29:26 Adam This therapist is a deeply troubled person.

1:29:29 Drew And a dangerous person.

1:29:31 Adam And a dangerous person. Well, what's she gonna do? F you to death? Listen, you do not want to get... You do not want to get hooked up with this person. This is a handful. Believe you me. I don't care how tantalizing she is. I don't care how pretty the picture is. This is a deeply disturbed, flawed person that you can not spend any real time with.

1:29:52 Caller I'm coming to that realization, but what do I say to my wife? I don't want to see this woman no more.

1:29:57 Drew Yes.

1:29:57 Adam Yes.

1:29:58 Drew I would strongly urge you to call the Department of Consumer Affairs and make an anonymous report.

1:30:02 Adam I would. Yeah. I don't know if he's gonna do that.

1:30:06 Drew She may need a dossier built up on her.

1:30:08 Adam I might call this therapist and tell her that it's off and that if you get any calls from the wife or whatever, you know what I mean? Unless you want the jig to be up and her license will be revoked, you better tell her to play along.

1:30:22 Drew He's a dangerous, dangerous person.

1:30:24 Adam Jesus Christ. I went into therapy for on and off probably 10 years and never, didn't even get a hand job. Yeah. Not even a hand job.

1:30:31 Drew Sorry.

1:30:32 Adam Thousands of dollars, not even a hand job.

1:30:34 Drew She's there to try to salvage these marriages and...

1:30:36 Adam I am so mad at my therapist right now.

1:30:38 Drew I know.

1:30:40 Adam He's a son of a bitch. I'm going to kill that guy.

1:30:43 Drew Well, you could, you know...

1:30:44 Adam I'm not saying that I want the guy to give me a BJ, but at least offer.

1:30:48 Drew Well, you're supposed to ask.

1:30:49 Adam Give me a chance at turning down.

1:30:50 Drew You got to ask.

1:30:52 Adam He knows I have low self-esteem.

1:30:53 Drew No, no, you got to ask. That's part of the process.

1:30:55 Adam Oh, I have to ask him?

1:30:56 Caller Yes.

1:30:57 Caller Oh.

1:30:59 Adam Okay. Are you sure? Because I'm going to do that on Tuesday.

1:31:02 Drew It's part of the process, right?

1:31:03 Adam You're saying just go right in and ask for a BJ?

1:31:05 Drew At least, you know, the therapists are certainly not going to initiate.

1:31:08 Adam All right, I'll do it. But I tell you, if you're yanking my chain, if you're gaslighting me, Drew, I'm going to be mad when I see you on Wednesday. All right? All right. All right, we'll take a break.

1:31:21 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:31:25 Drew Sunday night, we're going to be talking about the morning after panel here on Love Line. We're having someone from Planned Parenthood and someone from the Light of the Right Group. And we're going to finally go at this topic a little bit. It's something that Adam and I feel very strongly about. It's something that can, I think, significantly improve the health of young people if we put the word out there about what it is and how it works in reality. So we'll be talking about that on Sunday night and Esai Morales on Monday and Poe here on Tuesday. Thank you, Anderson. Thank you, Lauren. Thank you, Sarah and Anne for a good week. And this is Dr. Drew on behalf of Adam Corolla saying mahalo.

1:31:55 Adam Yeah, I love I love my nephews.

1:31:58 Caller I'm in love with them.

1:31:59 Adam No, I mean, I really love them. I like that section. You missed my point.

1:32:04 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Anne Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, April 5, 2001