Episode 1000754887063

2:19 Adam Yes, it is Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, he is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-4-4-5-5, Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist, and tonight we're coming to you from the Radio and Television Museum or TV and Radio Museum. In beautiful Beverly Hills, California, we've been asked to I don't know, what have we been asked to do?

2:44 Drew A show.

2:45 Adam That's right.

2:46 Drew From this studio?

2:46 Adam Yes, the first time we've ever been asked to do anything. People have shown up, that's very nice of them, they'll all be gone in the next fifteen minutes I'm sure.

2:55 Drew You'll put them to sleep.

2:56 Adam Thank you.

2:58 Drew Describe the scene here a little bit.

2:59 Adam Well, we're sitting in this booth, and it's got glass walls all the way around it, and then there's a little bit of seating, and there's a sort of disappointed crowd.

3:10 Drew Bored and disappointed. Tired, tired, bored, disappointed.

3:13 Adam To be fair to us, we are a full two and a half minutes into the show. True. So the bloom is off the rose, as they say. But people are sitting around drinking a complimentary diet soda. I've never been more shocked.

3:26 Drew I've never been more shocked to see you go out, sit down with a group of people and begin conversing.

3:31 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

3:32 Drew I mean, normally you like pull a hood over your head and march through looking at the ground, not talk to me until the mics hit up.

3:39 Adam You know why I spoke to these people? Because these people are salt of the earth. These are my people.

3:45 These are the real people.

3:46 Drew You're cracking them up. They don't want anything to do with you.

3:48 Adam Don't worry, I'll turn them against me before the show's over. But these people came out.

3:53 Drew I see. So you figured you had to give them a little something.

3:55 Adam They came out to do the show. I thought I would converse like a common man.

3:58 Drew I'm sure they were thrilled.

3:59 Adam Right. I just hope we have enough security so I can get to the car. All right. We're ready to drudge forward here, Drew?

4:05 Drew Yeah. We're just sailing here.

4:07 Adam Drew has his computer set up and we're just taking the calls from here. And Drew, you know how to work that thing?

4:12 Drew There we go. It's Darren. 2015. Darren? That's a nice way to start. That's very nice.

4:21 Adam Listen, I said it last night. I don't care. I hope every call is a goof. I really do. I get my money anyway.

4:26 Drew Mary, 15. Mary?

4:29 Yeah. The girl during sex, is it normal for the girl to bleed, like even if it's not her first time?

4:37 Drew Oh, yeah.

4:37 Adam You get her in the eye, yeah. Sure.

4:40 Drew This audience is bothering me. They're egging you on. This is very disturbing. If you get a little chock out of the audience, I can feel you gearing up for the next move.

4:48 Adam Well, it's great because normally we have...

4:51 Drew Whoopers.

4:52 Adam Well, what we have is Drew, who's Drew. He's a cigar store Indian. It's like a, really, it's like doing comedy in front of a cardboard refrigerator box.

5:01 Then we have producer Ann, who's heard what?

5:03 Adam Seven million shows, I could care less. She's still waiting for the poor man to come back. And then we have Anderson, who's knee deep in some sort of Dungeons and Dragons thing on the computer with his back turned to us. So I normally do not have the luxury of playing to a partisan crowd. So what were you talking about, Mary?

5:21 Drew Ann's waiting for Ricky to come back.

5:22 Adam That's right.

5:23 Drew So, Mary, 15. So Mary, you have a little bleeding after intercourse, even though it's not your first time.

5:29 Guest During.

5:31 Drew During, which is not uncommon. Is that near the time of your period?

5:36 Guest It ended almost a week ago.

5:38 Drew Is this your... Are you regularly sexually active?

5:43 Adam Yes.

5:45 Drew Did you get that?

5:46 Adam How did I get that?

5:47 Drew Oh, my God.

5:48 Adam Speaking of sexually active, I will not be able to achieve interaction for at least a week.

5:53 Guest Oh, that is such a buzzkill.

5:56 Adam And it freaks you out because now you want to take these things off.

5:59 Guest Can we still be heard?

6:00 Drew Mary?

6:02 Adam Oh, I was hoping she was gone.

6:03 Drew So are you sexually active?

6:07 Guest Yeah.

6:08 Drew You have one partner?

6:10 Guest Yeah.

6:10 Drew Are you wearing, using condoms, safe sex, contraception?

6:14 Adam All right, Drew, what would cause this bleeding?

6:15 Drew Well, sometimes just the act of sex deem it some women to bleed. And some women, every single time they have sex, they will bleed a little bit.

6:21 Adam Nice.

6:21 Drew So it's not uncommon. It doesn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong.

6:23 Adam But those women should be forced to wear windbreakers that state that fact, you know?

6:28 Drew Just so you see them coming.

6:28 Adam So you don't pick them up by mistake at some red onion.

6:31 Drew That's nice.

6:31 Guest You know what I'm saying?

6:33 Drew Yeah.

6:33 Guest Yeah.

6:35 Drew Mary, and because you're young and active sexually, it really is important, and because you're having some symptoms that just should be evaluated just for the sake of completeness, you ought to see your doctor. Again, young women get cervical cancer, and it's important that the early age of onset of sexual activity tends to increase the risk of that. So it's something to take care of, okay?

6:52 Adam Women, women bleed often and for no reason, right?

6:56 Drew That's what I'm saying. That's a paraphrase of what I said.

6:58 Adam No, but what I mean is, is they don't need, they don't need a good excuse to bleed.

7:04 Drew What would a good excuse be? Just, just for the sake of argument.

7:06 Adam Period, knife wound, something like that. Do you know what I'm saying?

7:10 Drew Yeah, I always do.

7:11 Adam It doesn't bleed and it doesn't mean anything. As a guy, blood was coming out of your chin to tell you, you'd be airlifted to the nearest hospital.

7:20 Drew Except our collars. Right. They'd sit around and think about it for three months.

7:23 Adam Right.

7:23 Drew Carrie, 34.

7:25 Guest Hello.

7:25 Drew Hi, Carrie.

7:26 Guest Hi. I'm Colleen. I have a question. I just recently got involved with a man who I believe may be a sex addict. I'm not sure. I'm just divorced a year and I just got involved with him about two months ago.

7:41 Drew He's a young guy?

7:43 Guest No, he's 33. I'm 34.

7:45 Drew And what makes you believe he's a sex addict?

7:48 Guest Well, he kind of openly admitted it to me. He said, you know, I hadn't heard him all day and I called him late. And I said, you know, what's going on? You know, I didn't hear from you. I emailed him a few times and he didn't write back or call me.

8:02 Adam I'm sorry, I was raping.

8:04 Guest I was out raping children. No.

8:07 Adam What was he doing?

8:07 Guest Okay, don't start with me. No, this is serious because I really like this guy and I don't understand this at all.

8:15 Adam What was he doing? What was he doing?

8:17 Guest What was he doing?

8:19 Adam Do you realize why I hate all our callers? Jesus Christ, we could edit this show down to 15 minutes. We really could.

8:26 Drew What's that, Carrie?

8:27 Guest I'm not going to take your abuse. Listen, this is serious.

8:29 Drew What was he doing?

8:30 Adam Listen, you're already taking abuse from the sex addict. Why don't you take a little from two guys who don't care?

8:35 Drew What was he doing?

8:38 Guest What do you mean, what was he doing? No, he was on the internet. He's a traitor.

8:41 Adam If there was a chair, I could get in there with him.

8:43 Drew She's getting there. He's addicted to this.

8:45 Guest He's a traitor. He also designs websites and he was hinging around to me the night that all this computer stuff in his house is for sexual internet online. And I'm really, I'm kind of freaked out about it, but I really like it.

9:01 Drew Is he an addict with it? He has consequences from the behaviors. He's losing money. He's losing relationships.

9:07 Guest I think his whole motive is the sexual end of it and the financial end of it because he's looking to open a website to go forward with the sexual addiction. He's trying to find his release online, I think. Do you understand me?

9:24 Adam Okay, how is this manifesting itself exactly?

9:27 Drew Carrie, we're not getting that.

9:28 Adam What is he doing?

9:29 Drew All we hear is that he's into online sex. That's all we're getting.

9:32 Guest I don't think he's into online sex. I think that he's trying to satisfy his sexual addiction through online. Now he's going to start his own... Because he can... He can create...

9:43 Drew Want to recreate that one?

9:44 Adam No.

9:45 Guest He can create a website.

9:46 Adam Jesus Christ.

9:47 Guest No wonder her husband...

9:48 Guest What?

9:49 Adam Listen, we need you to give us some tangible concrete example of what you perceive or what he perceives to be his sexual addiction.

10:00 Guest He only wants blowjobs. He only wants blowjobs.

10:04 Drew Adam, you're a sexual addict.

10:05 Guest How dare you?

10:06 Adam How dare you bring that up in front of these people?

10:08 Guest I know.

10:09 Adam That's true. Drew just got up from under the desk. That's how much I enjoy the blowjobs.

10:14 Guest He's totally addicted to oral sex, both giving and receiving.

10:19 Adam Oh, boy. Next thing you know, you're going to get hooked up with a cuddler.

10:23 Drew Yeah. Let's define what addiction means, right? Progressive behaviors in the face of consequences. What are the consequences of his behaviors?

10:31 Guest Uh, his consequences that could... This could lead to somewhere that I'm not comfortable with going. I mean, the oral sex is no problem, but I'm trying to find out what is... If he's... If he's open enough with me right now within two months to say, I am a sexual addict, I have a problem, what am I facing?

10:50 Drew Well, if indeed is a sexual addict, you're probably facing a pretty painful relationship. Have you been involved with other addicts?

10:56 Guest Not at all. I was married for four years, just divorced a year.

11:00 Drew He wasn't an alcoholic or anything, no alcohols in your family anywhere.

11:03 Guest No.

11:03 Drew Well, I doubt that the guy is a sexual addict. Sexual addicts don't announce that that's the job.

11:08 Adam What happened?

11:09 Drew With the marriage?

11:09 Adam Yeah. They did a divorce or did he kill himself when you were telling him about your day?

11:14 Guest He had the affair and I walked out.

11:16 Adam Shocking.

11:16 Drew I understand.

11:18 Adam With a mute. Okay. Listen, we don't exactly know what the problem is. We're not that interested because you're having trouble explaining it. He doesn't sound like all that bad a guy.

11:29 Drew He doesn't sound like a sex addict. He sounds like kind of a weird guy into weird stuff that she may not be into. And he's sort of, you know, often tangents and sort of sexual proclivities are sort of strangely expressed.

11:41 Adam And listen, keep in mind, ladies, when you're dating a new guy and he starts talking about being a sexual addict, he's not trying to impress you. You know what I'm saying?

11:52 Drew He also probably doesn't mean he's a sexual addict, right?

11:54 Adam This is the opposite of I drive a Porsche.

11:57 Drew How many sex addicts announce that in the opening weeks of a relationship? Unless they intend to chase the person away or include them in some weird behaviors. Right.

12:05 Adam They want to make a film or they want to out.

12:07 Drew Nick, 19.

12:08 Caller Oh, hey. Actually, I got to be honest. I made up my question. But I just wanted to call to say I think you guys are really awesome. Thanks. Drew, you deserve a Nobel Prize.

12:21 Drew Oh, Nick, you're great.

12:24 Caller But actually, the only real thing I want to know is me and some friends of mine are going down to LA in a week. And we were wondering if we could go by the studio and just say how you guys are doing. Are you hot? No, my friends are.

12:38 Adam Okay. Those guys are hot?

12:40 Caller Yeah.

12:40 Adam Yeah, you could do that. That's fine.

12:43 Caller Yeah.

12:43 Adam All of you within the sound of my voice can come over on that same night. Yeah, I don't know. Ann, you want to? Ann doesn't. And we'll put them on hold?

12:51 Drew Sure, he's on hold.

12:51 Adam Yeah.

12:52 Drew Jessica, 14.

12:53 Adam Jessica?

12:55 Jessica.

12:56 Adam 14-year-old Jessica. Caller goes by the name of Jessica.

13:00 Drew Turn it up there, Anderson. Let's hear if she's asleep. Oh, please.

13:03 Adam This is a new record if she's asleep. Usually our callers don't go to sleep until the second hour.

13:10 Drew Who is she? Is it Jessica?

13:12 Guest Uh-huh.

13:13 Drew Jessica?

13:14 Adam It's so important that you talk to everyone, isn't it?

13:16 Guest Uh, hi.

13:18 Guest Um, wait, wait, my mom's there. Can you, like...

13:22 Adam Yeah. Drew, sing the Dreidel song. Let's kill some time.

13:25 Drew You can talk to her mom.

13:26 Guest Yeah.

13:26 Adam Well, people call this show and they act like we've called them at work. You know what I mean?

13:31 Guest Yeah.

13:31 Adam Oh, hold on, my boss.

13:32 Guest Yeah.

13:33 Adam I asked you to stop there. We're stalking teenage girls.

13:37 Guest Adam?

13:37 Adam Yeah. Is your mom there?

13:40 Guest No, no, no, no.

13:41 Guest She just, like, walked into my room and...

13:43 Adam I see...

13:44 Guest .I guess, I don't know. Um, first of all, I'd like to say, um, should I have to whisper? Um, Adam, you were, like, really funny.

13:52 Drew Don't waste any unnecessary noise on these compliments.

13:55 Adam Listen, I know I'm hot. Just keep going.

13:59 Guest Okay, sorry.

14:00 Guest And, um, Drew, you're, like, my idol. You're, like, I don't know, I think it's really great how you help people.

14:06 Adam You don't cut her off when she gets to you?

14:08 Drew I'm waiting for you to do that.

14:09 Guest Oh, and I, like, I saw you, like, at, like, a little league game.

14:13 Drew Me?

14:14 Guest Yeah.

14:15 Adam Furson?

14:15 Drew With my kids.

14:16 Guest Oh.

14:16 Guest Yeah, Douglas and, um, Shorten.

14:18 Guest Yeah.

14:19 Guest Yeah, and I...

14:20 Adam Wait a minute, were they playing T-ball, those buzzy's?

14:22 Guest Yeah.

14:22 Adam They're figures.

14:23 Drew No, no, they're kid pitch. Was it a kid pitch or a T-ball?

14:25 Guest No, no, it was kid pitch.

14:27 Drew Yeah, see?

14:28 Adam They play eyeball. They have a stick on top, too, with the ball in the middle.

14:32 Drew Right? What's kid pitch? What's the kid pitches?

14:36 Adam Why don't you just call that pitching?

14:37 Drew Because when they're eight, that's a big deal.

14:39 Adam That's a great graduate to that. Oh, because a dad would pitch otherwise?

14:42 Drew It goes eyeball, T-ball, coach pitch, then kid pitch.

14:45 Adam Wait, there is an eyeball? Oh, you made that up. All right, I'm such an idiot. I thought it stumbled on to something. I never played any T-ball for the record. I went straight to triple A. I was playing with the Mud Hens in Albuquerque when I was eight. So, all right, so you saw Drew over there was doing a good job, probably on the cell phone the whole time the kids were batting, right?

15:07 Guest No, no, he wasn't. He was watching, but I like saw him, and I didn't want to go up to him and bother him because I thought that was kind of rude. But yeah, I just wanted to say that I saw you and your wife and your kids. And anyway, OK, my question. Well, like, whenever I see guys, I get kind of nervous. So I don't know, I kind of throw myself at them. And so I don't know how I could stop that because I don't like want to do it.

15:34 Drew So it's a way of sort of taking control of a situation where that's what you want to do. But you'd rather that you receive some sort of reciprocation or that they initiate it. But you don't wait for all that. You just go right ahead. Yeah. And guys, of course, obliged, right?

15:47 Adam You got an older sister?

15:49 Guest No, I'm the older sister.

15:50 Adam Younger sister?

15:51 Drew Yeah. What do you afraid would happen if you hung back a little bit?

15:55 Guest I don't know. I just feel like.

15:56 Adam Well, what do you mean throw yourself at them? Sexually? Do you throw parts at them?

16:03 Guest I like to dodge a boob once in a while.

16:06 Guest No, like, for example, I went to a dance the other day and I made out with this guy that I didn't even know. I knew him for like five minutes and we were making out like five minutes later. It was weird. But like that, I want love, I guess. So I kind of find it in odd ways.

16:23 Drew Right, which is most women that are behaving compulsively sexually or really sex and love addicted more than sex addicted.

16:31 Adam Yeah. Well, I mean, it's sort of attention is attention.

16:34 Drew Well, it's connection is, yeah. Did you, did you?

16:37 Adam Where's Daddy?

16:37 Drew Yeah.

16:40 Guest Like, home.

16:41 Drew Do you have a problem with your relationship with him in some way?

16:43 Guest Yeah. He like, I don't know, he kind of like, I don't know if he's, like, counter-abuse, but yeah, he kind of like abused me when I was younger.

16:49 Guest What'd he do?

16:51 Guest He just like, hit me sometimes. Or like, I don't know, he likes to like, threaten to do stuff like, he's like, oh, I'm gonna like, bash your head or something. I don't know, like.

17:00 Drew That's a little something. So you could see why you feel sort of...

17:03 Adam Hey, put it in context. You know, bash head, you know, if it's said in a nice way.

17:08 Guest No.

17:08 Caller Right?

17:09 Guest Not really, but like, I don't know, I get like, really sensitive and I like...

17:12 Drew Yeah, of course, Jessica. So, of course, you've been abused, you've been violated in some way, boundaries have been, have been pressed aside.

17:18 Adam I want to go off on a jag here. So I'll just put...

17:21 Drew So the point is, it's understandable you'd behave these way. In fact, that it's only this way is sort of almost rates in the charming scale, that this is all she's doing. You know what I'm saying?

17:29 Adam Yeah, she's 14.

17:30 Drew Well, just, you know, Jessica...

17:32 Adam She'll start next semester.

17:34 Drew Just be careful, Jessica. Just realize that you're worth a lot more. Be careful choices with whom you choose to be close with and realize that a guy that really is worth being with you and wants to be with you will initiate and will let you know that things are OK and safe and you can get close to them without having to throw yourself in the situation, OK?

17:50 Guest But like, how would I know, like, if they're like that?

17:53 Drew You're going to have to trust that it's OK to sit back and wait and see. You're going to have to contain yourself. Count to 11. It's a little trick I learned today. Count to 11, all right? Slowly. I'm glad you're having a review today. And I was advising my staff not to blurt stuff out, not to give too much information, because you tend to expose yourself to stuff. We all tried to count to 11 and it worked very well.

18:13 Adam Who got a review today? Would you mind?

18:15 Drew I spent the whole day at what's called the Joint Commission of Hospital Accreditation, the entire day in grueling reviews.

18:22 Adam Yeah. I spent the whole day with my joint, too.

18:25 Drew Your joint or junk?

18:27 Adam Well, I call it my joint.

18:28 Drew I see.

18:28 Adam How dare you give away my secret junk code in front of this audience. So, what, you were telling them what they were doing wrong?

18:35 Drew No, I was just, this reviewer was reviewing this. I was advising them just to kind of speak when spoken to.

18:40 Adam Yeah.

18:40 Drew You know, when somebody is testing you and you start talking about the wonderful things you're doing and end up exposing things that you shouldn't have been doing or have not been doing so well. Just let the person ask you the question.

18:49 Adam Yeah.

18:49 Drew Just hang back.

18:50 Guest Right.

18:51 Adam I shouldn't get drunk and talk about being an astronaut.

18:55 Drew Right.

18:55 Guest Right.

18:56 Drew Or your proclivity for young women. What's the jag you wanted to go on?

18:59 Adam I just wanted to say that, and we've talked about it before, that husbands or fathers can really screw up their daughters. They don't screw up their sons that badly, but they can really F up their daughters. And I don't even know if they know they're doing it, but it, I mean, guys, if you can hear me, and you've got a young daughter, and you're slapping her around, or you're not paying attention to her, or you're coming at her in a sexual way, she will be a porn star. She will be a stripper. She will sleep with every guy. Everyone will become daddy. She will be, there will be this void that will never be filled, and you will ruin her life. Whereas guys just excel at football. You know what I mean?

19:39 Drew Yeah, yeah.

19:40 Guest Yeah, because we're smarter.

19:42 Drew Joanne 32.

19:43 Guest Yeah. You could say I'm one of those girls from one of those parenthoods, or parents, you know, with adult, kid of an old house. Anyway.

19:53 Drew A-hole dads.

19:55 Guest Yeah, that's it.

19:55 Drew Yeah, children of A-hole dads. Let's start a new group, new recovery group. Yeah, yeah, we could see of C-A-D. Great.

20:03 Guest And I can't say I figured out how to find one of those guys who isn't one as well. So what I'm looking at is single parent.

20:09 Drew That also shocks us. That shocks us, by the way, Joanne.

20:11 Adam Did you hooked up with another A-hole?

20:13 Drew Yeah. She can't find anything.

20:16 Guest Yeah.

20:16 Drew Can't find anything but A-holes.

20:17 Adam Right.

20:18 Drew Shock.

20:18 Guest Exactly. So I've sort of given up the search on finding them. But looking at being a single parent, and I was wondering, Dr. Drew, if you had any research information and the ambulance is going to go by here, sorry, if you had any information on how kids are turning out, coming out of single parent families.

20:37 Drew Well, there's lots of data out there and not all of it's real clear.

20:41 Guest Where it's not a divorce, where you don't have the abandonment issue.

20:44 Drew Yeah, I understand.

20:45 Guest Okay. Okay.

20:46 Drew There are, the-

20:47 Adam Are they boys or girls?

20:50 Guest Pick.

20:50 Drew You don't want-

20:51 Adam She doesn't have any?

20:52 Drew You don't have kids yet?

20:53 Guest I'm seriously considering-

20:55 Adam I'll get rid of her.

20:56 Drew Well, by the way, I have concerns about the fact that because you, because you've had to-

21:00 Adam She doesn't have kids.

21:01 Drew She's going to, she's gonna get-

21:02 Adam Where are you getting kids?

21:03 Guest You can, you can make them pretty easy.

21:06 Adam Really?

21:07 Drew Yeah.

21:07 Guest Yeah, you can go-

21:08 Adam What do you gotta do?

21:09 Guest Or you can go to China. You can save a kid that's already-

21:12 Adam You go to China and have some Chinaman bang you or, or you adopt over there?

21:15 Guest No, you go adopt. You adopt.

21:18 Adam I see.

21:19 Guest Okay.

21:19 Adam They can't- They can't send the kid over? You gotta go pick him up?

21:23 Guest You gotta go pick him up and they put you through the ringer too to get him.

21:27 Adam In China?

21:28 Guest And Russia, both places.

21:30 Adam I'd go China. What would you go, Drew? I'd go Chinese kid. Cells and math. He's gonna do good. He's gonna play the violin. Make you proud one day. You get that Russian kid. He's getting into the booze.

21:42 Drew He plays the piano well.

21:43 Adam He's joined some sort of, you know, he's running with the wrong crowd. The Russian kid, no. You go Chinese.

21:49 Drew Very complex issues, Joanne. You're bringing three major issues into the mixer that I can see. One is issues of attachment in early childhood are profoundly impactful on brain development and future emotional development. You don't know what level of intimacy and attachment and sort of nurturing this child to have that you're going to pick up in another continent.

22:09 Adam All right. But wait a minute.

22:10 Guest Well, let's say, let's say I don't adopt.

22:13 Drew Let me finish. Hold on.

22:14 Adam Don't finish. Listen, what is the kid's alternative?

22:17 Drew I understand. Number two, the issue of how single parenting can be very successful. What are the risks? They usually tend to distill down to what I would sort of put under the umbrella of issues of handling aggression, particularly for the males, that aggression management, impulse control, all that seems to be affected by not having a male father around. But that doesn't mean you can't bring a male figure into his life. They would serve that function adequately if you pay attention.

22:42 Adam Are you, are you lesbian?

22:44 Drew No. But that's the third issue is because you had an a-hole dad, your radar is bent, you become attracted to a-hole guys, so you're going to drop the whole process, not look inside and try to figure out how you could heal from that abusive childhood and maybe attract and be attracted to more appropriate kinds of partners. You're going to abandon the whole process of intimacy and now make that whole empty problem a child's problem. The child's going to fix this. And that is the worst way to bring a child into the world.

23:13 Adam Yeah, who wants to, you're raising a kid and you're coming from the from the starting point of I'm too screwed up for a relationship, so I'm going to raise a kid.

23:21 Drew Exactly.

23:22 Adam That's a retarded logic. All right, we'll take ourselves a little break. Did you put it on hold?

23:27 Guest Yeah.

23:27 Adam Oh, that's good. Drew, you go Chinese over Russian though, right?

23:31 Drew I go pee right now.

23:32 Guest Let's go.

23:33 Adam Is that Chinese? I go pee?

23:35 Drew Let's go.

23:35 Adam It's got to be joking there. Get out of here.

23:45 Caller Loveline tonight is being brought to you by the Cobalt Lounge and Car Toys.

24:05 Adam It is Loveline and Adam Carolla. He is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. We're at the Television and Radio Museum in beautiful Beverly Hills doing a little broadcast tonight, a little on-site broadcast. Drew's computer just took a dump.

24:22 Drew It'll be all right, though.

24:23 Adam So the show is going to go from bad to worse, everyone.

24:25 Drew And let's see, the museum's address is 465 North Beverly. We were asked to promote this thing, right? In Beverly Hills Corner Bowl, Santa Monica, and Beverly. Parking is free. Admission to the broadcast is free. The Festival Hotline is 310-786-1015.

24:40 Adam Yes, we're going to have some real talent in here later in the week. So we do not have a phone screen now.

24:47 Drew We will in a minute.

24:48 Adam All right. Where are we going? Line 5?

24:51 Adam Hello.

24:53 Drew Madison, put on Line 5 for us.

24:58 Adam Are we talking to somebody?

25:00 Guest Hello.

25:01 Adam Hello. What's your name?

25:02 Guest Hello.

25:03 Adam What is your name?

25:04 Guest I'm sorry. Hi, it's Jennifer.

25:06 Adam All right. What's up?

25:08 Guest Okay. Here's what's up. Basically, in a nutshell, I'm afraid to receive oral sex. I have no sex drive and when I do have sex, I very, very rarely enjoy it. And I'm trying to figure out if the being afraid of receiving oral sex would be a factor of having been abused sexually. I'm really not sure.

25:32 Drew Let's think about it for a second. Use your imagination. Doesn't it make sense that unpleasant sexual symptoms now might have something to do with what happened to your kid?

25:41 Guest Yes, but I'm just saying, would that be a sign of sexual abuse? I mean, I agree I need therapy, but I'm just saying...

25:48 Adam How old are you?

25:49 Guest Twenty-nine.

25:51 Adam Are you in a relationship? You are.

25:54 Guest Yes, I'm married.

25:56 Adam You're married. How's that going?

25:59 Guest Good, except for the sex part.

26:02 Adam That means bad. Who abused you sexually?

26:06 Guest I don't know. I have no memory of it whatsoever.

26:09 Adam Oh, well fine.

26:10 Drew How do you know it happened?

26:11 Guest I don't know it happened. I'm just asking if it's...

26:14 Adam Oh, for Christ's sake.

26:15 Drew No.

26:16 Adam I'll tell you, our callers go from dumb to retard in just a heartbeat. You don't know you've been sexually abused? This is just purely a hypothetical question.

26:26 Guest Exactly.

26:27 Adam Because you're scared of oral sex?

26:30 Guest Yes.

26:31 Adam Well, maybe you're Jewish. No?

26:36 Uh, no.

26:37 Adam No. Okay. Well, then you're probably abused.

26:41 Drew No, no, no. Why is this, why are you jumping to those kinds of conclusions?

26:47 Guest Because it's been going on for so long.

26:49 Drew But this one preference, the preference that you don't like oral sex is leading to conclude your sexual abuse.

26:55 Adam You don't want it performed on you and you don't want to perform it on someone else.

26:58 Guest I don't mind performing it. I just don't mind being performed on. No, not at all. Not at all.

27:03 Adam So you're into that. You just don't want it done on you.

27:06 Guest Right.

27:07 Adam God bless you. I have to clone her, Drew. We have to get some cells, we have to get some cell samples. Make her in the lab. Yeah. And what's your husband think about that?

27:18 Guest Well, he obviously doesn't like it too much.

27:22 Adam He says he doesn't like it, but he's feeling like he dodged a bullet there. Drew, you'd be all right with that with your wife, right? She's going to kick your ass when you get home.

27:36 Drew No, you're asking a question.

27:37 Adam All right. Well, listen, can't you have a couple glasses of wine and just hold still?

27:43 Guest You know what I'm saying?

27:44 Adam How tough is that? What do you have to do? Just hold still.

27:48 Guest Okay, sure.

27:50 Adam Listen. Okay. Put her on hold, Drew. Let me say something.

27:53 Drew Please, Adam. Go right ahead.

27:55 Adam You were talking last night about a fear flying.

27:57 Drew Yeah.

27:57 Adam Right. You used to have a fear of flying.

27:59 Drew Absolutely.

27:59 Adam I used to have a fear of flying and then we got hooked up the bunch of people that sent us around the country every other week so they could make 15 percent of it. Right.

28:07 Drew That's right. Then we lost our fear of flying.

28:08 Adam Now, all of a sudden, all I do on planes is complain.

28:12 Drew Yes.

28:12 Adam Ironically.

28:12 Drew Yes.

28:13 Adam Right.

28:13 Drew Now my fear of flying is returning.

28:15 Adam Your fear of flying.

28:15 Drew I get PTSD from flying.

28:17 Adam Is sitting next to me and me complaining and tell you to stop doing those goddamn Scantron tests and start listening to me. I got problems with the building inspector and my garbage man. And I demand to be hurt. Right.

28:28 Drew Yeah. Oh, yes.

28:29 Adam You carry on. Now, how did you get over your fear of flying? Therapy?

28:32 Drew No, just by flying a lot.

28:34 Adam By doing it. Just by doing it. And don't you think and maybe we're slitting our own throats here. But don't you think.

28:40 Drew By getting too involved in stuff.

28:42 Adam No. I mean, maybe we're slitting our own throats here by just saying, you know, not everything needs therapy. Not everything needs a book. Just if there's something that you're not into and there's no concrete reason that you're not into it. Just do it. Relax. You get used to it. It's fine.

28:58 Drew I agree.

28:59 Adam Okay. But you don't tell that to women.

29:01 Drew No.

29:01 Adam You would tell that to a guy, but you wouldn't tell it to a woman.

29:04 Drew If there are real specific behaviors that you'd like to change, sometimes you can change them. If it's fear is the only thing.

29:09 Adam She's married. The relationship's fine. Just hold still. You do what I do. You pick.

29:14 Drew But something she wants to do. It's not like she's saying, this is happening to me. My husband demands it. She wants to do it.

29:20 Adam Right.

29:20 Drew That's different. I would say, hold still.

29:22 Adam You know what I do when I get the oral sex? I focus on one spot.

29:27 Drew The ceiling? One little grains of the cottage cheese in your ceiling?

29:30 Adam That's right. You know what I do when I get oral sex? Actually, I focus my eyeballs on one part of... It's inside my skull, actually, because my eyes will always roll back. But one part of my frontal lobe, I will actually stare at from underneath.

29:46 Drew That's nice.

29:46 Adam Thank you.

29:47 Drew It's quite an image. Matt, 21, Matt.

29:49 All right, guys. The big problem here is I'm 21 years old, right?

29:53 Drew Yeah. That's the big problem?

29:55 I have real trouble. For me, it is. I'm not getting erections like I like to.

30:01 Adam How do you like your erections?

30:02 I like them hard as well.

30:04 Adam I like my media.

30:07 Guest I like my erections a little bit runny.

30:10 Adam Just a little bit, so I can mop them up with the toast.

30:12 Well, when I buy myself, of course, they're hard as hell.

30:17 That's right.

30:19 Adam I'll tell you, the 100 best boners I've had in my life, there hasn't been anyone within a 10-mile radius of my penis.

30:28 Drew I'm not sure I want to get on this path, but I can't resist.

30:30 Adam 100 best boners.

30:32 Drew You cataloged the 100 best boners. That sounds like a title for some...

30:37 Adam No, but you know, it's a good coffee table book.

30:40 Adam's 100 best boners.

30:42 Adam It's a quick read.

30:43 Drew What makes the best?

30:45 Adam You know, don't play stupid. I want to talk to the audience here. You guys know what I'm talking about. It happens.

30:52 Drew No, I'm lost.

30:52 Adam No, here's how it happens. It's usually after sleeping, but sometimes it's from a nap. And sometimes it's just the right combination, emotionally and physically. Maybe you had yourself like some funky herbal tea or something, and you ate a jar of peanut butter or something. It could be a physical, chemical thing. But I woke up from a nap two days ago, and I had an erection that actually bent up and came all the way around and made a loop. It was so hard. It made a full eye hook. I mean, I woke up, I took like a 45-minute nap. I don't know, God knows what I was dreaming about, but it was like, oh my God, this thing is, it's got a life of its own. It frightened me. And I thought, this is the kind of boner that I've rarely had in front of a woman. This is a great, great boner, and it'll be gone in a few moments. It'll never come back like some of the greatest farting I've ever done. Gone, gone, into thin air, never to be appreciated. Huh?

31:55 Caller I'm not gonna say that. That's the problem.

31:57 Adam What's that?

31:58 Caller I got it up now for one trick, and it wasn't hard, barely at all. It got enough to do the D, correct?

32:05 Adam I guess.

32:05 Caller Correct. That's how it's working. Affirmative. I'm getting it, yeah.

32:09 Caller I'll testify to that, Drew.

32:10 Caller It's been great with me, I'm going along.

32:12 Caller I'll just figure out, there's been four separate incidents and it's just driving me crazy every time I'm trying to do it now.

32:18 Drew Are you on medication? Are you on medication?

32:22 Caller Not at the time, not that I can think of. Nothing is any more serious than allergy medications.

32:28 Guest That's the best I can make.

32:30 Drew That can do it.

32:31 Caller That was at one time.

32:33 Caller One time. Well what about the other three times?

32:35 Adam The other three times are from the one time.

32:38 Drew Yeah, you're so anxious about it.

32:39 Caller This is after those other three times.

32:41 Caller I mean we're talking about 17, 18, going all the way up.

32:46 Drew You've had a four times total problem.

32:51 Adam Yeah, how many different episodes?

32:53 Caller Every time. Every time I try it with any, well, I've only tried it with these five females.

32:58 Drew Wait, stop it.

32:59 Caller One I've got it with.

33:00 Drew Wait a minute. Were these all one night stands kind of thing?

33:03 Caller No, no, no, not at all.

33:04 Adam Just all relationships. All right, I was going to tell me how to start focusing, but now I'm going to change it to you got to kill yourself.

33:11 Caller That's how it's working because I can't. And now it's driving me so crazy.

33:15 Caller I mean, I think about it.

33:17 Adam Okay.

33:17 Caller When I'm trying to get it going.

33:18 Drew Well, that's the problem.

33:20 Adam You're freaking yourself out and whatnot.

33:22 Drew That may be the problem.

33:23 Adam You know what? It's like when you get really stoned and you think about breathing, you start to hyperventilate and choke. You know, hey, you guys ever get really stoned? I'm talking to the audience. You're really stoned and you're eating, right? Like I always do. I get stoned. I'll eat all the time.

33:38 Drew Oh, you were kidding.

33:39 Adam And I'll start eating. I'll start eating. Now I'll be just having a great time. I'll be eating and then halfway in it, I'll be chomping down. I'll go, I wonder where my tongue is right now. I mean, I know it's in my mouth, but how's it working? I mean, is it going in and out to get in between my teeth? I know it's pushing food around and stuff. And then I will bite my tongue within 15 seconds of wondering where my tongue is because I was stoned and I was thinking about it. And this is what this guy is doing with his penis. You don't need to, you shouldn't be thinking too much about it. When you're having sex, he starts thinking about it. He has difficulty. What does he need to do? He's 21, it's been a promise whole life, I think he needs to go somewhere.

34:15 Drew I, for some reason, can't seem to get information on Matt. It's all very, remember that we talked about last night that...

34:19 Adam Guys who have no personality, just a rap?

34:22 Drew The rap thing, yeah, lots of rap. And so I didn't get much information. Medicine is the number one thing, other biological causes are very important, anxiety is a very important cause, all things for him to think about.

34:31 Adam Don't you think he should just go to a clinic or go to a specialist?

34:34 Drew Go to a doctor and yeah, certainly, they're not special, let's just start with the general doctor. Sure, Penny.

34:38 Adam Well, why talk to someone else when they're doing it?

34:39 Drew 30, you're a dick. Excuse me, Penny, not you, I dare you.

34:43 Caller Hello.

34:44 Caller Hello.

34:44 Caller Hey, Rock.

34:45 Caller Oh, go on, you really rock my world, guys.

34:47 Caller Anyways, I have a question, two questions, is that all right?

34:51 Caller All right, first question is, well, statement is, I'm allergic to latex gloves. Any other rubber glove there is that I use to wash dishes?

34:59 Drew What happens?

34:59 Caller And I break it, well, you have to take two, so 2,000 milligrams of antibiotics for seven days, a day, 2,000 a day for seven days to get rid of some infection in my cuticle that rocks my fingernail. And then my question was, if I'm allergic to latex, am I going to be allergic to latex condoms? Because I had-

35:15 Drew What does, what does fingernail infection have to do with allergy?

35:21 Caller I was, I don't know, I was told I was allergic to latex.

35:24 Drew Okay, so somebody told you that.

35:25 Caller Yes, my doctor told me that.

35:26 Drew Well, allergy to latex is allergy to latex. All latex, all contact. So yes, you would expect that if that's in fact the case. And it's a pretty common allergy. So-

35:35 Adam All right, so what about latex condoms?

35:37 Drew Allergy. So you should be using polyurethane.

35:39 Caller So I can use polyurethane. Well, I have, okay, my other statement was, okay, I've been celibate-

35:45 Adam Wait a minute, haven't you? Oh, okay, that was my next question. How have you not used a latex condom in all these years?

35:51 Caller Well, I have never even had to use a condom because I was married, divorced, blah, blah, blah. And I've been celibate-

35:55 Guest Oh, because of blah, blah, blah, Adam?

35:58 Guest I think it's code for oral sex. Blah, blah, blah.

36:01 Adam That's the sound it makes when the guy's down there.

36:04 Caller Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

36:06 Adam That's what I do. I do what my tongue like as impersonation when I perform oral sex.

36:10 Guest I went, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

36:13 Caller And she starts talking about-

36:14 Guest Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

36:15 Adam I hate that bitch.

36:15 Guest Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

36:17 Caller Anyway, my question was, okay, after my last pregnancy out of tubulation and my cycles cut down to like four days a week and that was it. And I was normally seven days a week. Well, now this past year I've lost 180 pounds. Okay. Went from a size 26 to size 14. And now my cycle's back to seven days a week.

36:36 Drew By seven days a week, you mean seven days a month?

36:39 Caller I'm sorry. Seven. You know what I mean. 21 days, 28 days, I have a cycle for seven days.

36:46 Drew Right. You believe the seven days.

36:47 Caller I was having one for four days up until I lost 180 pounds.

36:50 Drew Well, the fat tissue produces, adipose tissue, it produces a lot of hormones.

36:55 Adam Drew, that could have been all muscle. How dare you call that fat?

36:58 Drew I could use a steroids, whatever it is.

37:00 Adam 180 pounds. What are you down to? See, this size 14 doesn't mean that much to guys.

37:06 Caller I'm also working out and building muscle and toning. So I'm weighing more. I'm losing inches.

37:15 Adam Don't buy that wrap.

37:16 Caller I'm 59 pounds from like 298.

37:19 Adam Wow. That's great.

37:21 Caller I had three children. So with each pregnancy, I just got larger and larger from the sight of it.

37:24 Adam Did you even know it when you were pregnant?

37:26 Caller The third one, no.

37:27 Drew Didn't know you were pregnant?

37:28 Caller No.

37:29 Adam She was four and then she caught on.

37:31 Caller I was asleep but I didn't know it because I had a really weird husband.

37:34 Caller What?

37:35 Drew Wait, wait. Say that again. You let that one go right past us.

37:38 Adam You got sexy and impregnated you while you were asleep?

37:41 Caller I'm pretty sure because I don't remember having sex and I don't remember it because up until my eighth, I didn't even see the doctor until I was eight months pregnant because I never felt her move and up until like the month before I had it and then she started being more active.

37:53 Drew Did you have a, did you have any sort of dissociative disorder? I mean, did you, were you abused some as a kid and kind of?

37:58 Caller No, and I had two children prior so.

38:00 Adam Eight months pregnant, you never felt the baby move?

38:04 Caller Nope.

38:05 Adam You figured it was just that six foot sub you ate earlier or something?

38:09 Guest Adjective.

38:11 Guest Boy, do I got to take a dump.

38:13 Guest I'll tell ya.

38:15 Guest I could lay a 7.6 pound dump right now.

38:19 Guest Woo.

38:20 Adam It's like something's growing in me.

38:24 Caller Anyways, my question was.

38:27 Caller Oh my God.

38:28 Caller Oh.

38:30 Adam Okay, you're pregnant, right?

38:30 Caller If I had my two billion.

38:31 Adam Oh God, I masturbated before I came in here tonight.

38:33 Drew Yes.

38:34 Adam Twice, thank God.

38:35 Drew That is true. Twice.

38:36 Guest Twice, thank God.

38:37 Drew That is true that you should not be able to get pregnant and your irregularity or your your change in your menstrual cycling should have nothing to do with fertility. Okay.

38:46 Adam All right, baby. You keep going. Hey, listen, listen. Let me tell you something. You're looking good now, right? Right. Right. Oh, Drew, put her on hold. Let me tell you something. All you gals who've lost 185 pounds or more. I know it's a milestone. I know you feel good about it. I know you've never felt better about yourself and that's great.

39:06 Drew I know what you're going to say.

39:07 Adam But don't tell the dude, the new dude you're dating that you lost basically a junior college outside linebacker. You know what I'm saying? Because it'll freak his ass out. You're feeling good and you think you'll score points with this. And if you are a man, you might score some points with a woman, but men's minds don't work that way. You could see a woman who looked beautiful. 125 pounds of 5'8, and fit as a fiddle. If she told you she lost 200 pounds...

39:39 Drew Why is that?

39:39 Adam Let's go through the manhood. Because you're at dinner, and basically when she's saying I've lost 200 pounds, it's like her saying, I was in a horrible fire. Do you understand? Like you're picturing, like what's going to happen when that blouse comes off? What am I going to be looking at? And it freaks them out.

39:57 Drew Let's say she wears a bathing suit and things look okay, but it's still be freaked out?

40:00 Guest Yeah.

40:00 Drew Because?

40:02 Adam Because I'm scared when I have sex with a woman who used to be fat that she's pushing her fat up my penis and that my ass is going to get big.

40:10 Drew Your penis will get bigger.

40:12 Guest Oh, wait a minute.

40:14 Adam That's a good angle. See I never thought about it. I never had a doctor's opinion on this. That's right.

40:20 Guest All right.

40:20 Adam Let's take ourselves a little break.

40:21 Caller You want a wee?

40:23 Caller No, I'm fine.

40:24 Guest Oh, okay.

40:24 Drew I'll go with you.

40:25 Adam No, no, I'll wait. No, forget it. All right Anderson, take us out of here.

40:31 Guest 1-800-12-191.

40:43 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. We're at the Television and Radio Museum in Beverly Hills. I've never been here before.

40:53 Drew It's a great place, isn't it? Beautiful.

40:54 Adam Yeah.

40:55 Drew How have you never been here?

40:56 Adam Why should I have been here?

40:57 Drew You've been to one in New York a bunch of times.

40:59 Adam That's because Kevin and Bean were broadcasting for like a whole week when I used to get to go over there and have a good time before a ball and chain. It's Loveline. But it is beautiful. And you know, I walk around. It's like a it's like a hospital, like a sanitarium in here. Sort of like everything's white and there's marble. There's no molding or casing anywhere. Lots of glass. And then and then wonder where the money come from for this thing. Where did it come from? Who's paying for this?

41:27 Drew That's prime real estate Beverly Hills.

41:28 Guest Yeah.

41:29 Adam I get the feeling I'm paying for it.

41:31 Drew No, I don't think it's a really fair thing.

41:32 Adam You don't think so?

41:33 Guest Who pays for it?

41:34 Drew Who's head is that over here? He did it.

41:36 Adam That's the head of that's that's Peter Falk. Isn't it?

41:41 Drew Looks like it.

41:42 Adam Who is head? Whose head is that over there? See if his eye comes out.

41:45 Caller Can I get on the windows?

41:47 Drew Oh, okay.

41:48 Adam I'm sorry. This is great radio.

41:49 Caller Ralph Gill?

41:50 Adam Ralph Gill.

41:51 Drew Oh, yeah.

41:52 Adam Of the Writers Guild. Is that the guy?

41:55 Caller Of all guilds.

41:56 Adam Of all guilds.

41:57 Drew That was all guilds.

41:58 Adam So, anyway, people donate money and I guess they do this kind of thing. Fantastic.

42:04 Drew You know, the people on TV, it's shocking that people on TV would build a shrine and there won't be half. You know what I'm saying?

42:10 Adam Amazing.

42:11 Drew John, 23.

42:13 Guest Yeah.

42:13 Drew Hey, what's up?

42:15 Guest Good. Well, my question I have for you guys is that my semen as of late has been kind of smelling like bleach.

42:28 Adam Bleach?

42:28 Guest Yeah.

42:30 Drew What are you collecting your semen on? To smell it?

42:34 Adam Little swatches.

42:36 Drew Maybe the swatches have been bleached is what I'm getting at. Yeah, listen.

42:38 Adam All semen smells like bleach.

42:40 Guest Like Kleenex?

42:42 Caller Kleenex, yeah.

42:43 Adam Mine smells like fresh cut pine, so you got trouble. People ask me to whack off in their car to freshen it up. We'll have people go like, hey, I spilled my bong in the apartment. Could you come in here and jack off on the carpet? Folks are coming in. Folks are coming in from out of town.

43:00 Guest Yeah.

43:01 Adam All right. Well, yeah, it was it all smells bad. It seems it always smells like bleach. Isn't it true?

43:09 Drew And bleach is not the word that jumps into my head, leaps into my mind. But, John, it doesn't sound like anything you should be worried about.

43:15 Guest OK, well, I think it might have something to do with.

43:17 Guest Uh-oh.

43:19 Adam Like what?

43:20 Drew I don't know. Let me get it. Let me say it.

43:22 Adam Go ahead.

43:22 Drew I don't know. I don't like it. Bogosity. Come out here.

43:25 Adam Go ahead.

43:25 Drew What is it, John?

43:27 Guest I well, I'm a potter.

43:31 Adam Do you smoke pot or you throw pots?

43:33 Guest I throw pots, which is one of the other things that I had to talk to Adam about.

43:37 Guest Why are you asking that about?

43:38 Adam Kindred spirits.

43:39 Guest Yeah. Go ahead. What do you do?

43:41 Guest Huh?

43:42 Adam Were you a ceramics major like I was at North Hollywood High?

43:45 Guest That's right.

43:47 Adam Yeah. Were you a ceramics major?

43:49 Guest Yeah.

43:50 Adam Let's see. No, you were not. OK. Listen, wise ass. What is weathered Feldspar?

43:56 Guest What is it?

43:58 Adam Yeah. It's clay.

43:59 Guest It's stoneware.

44:00 Adam Give me the difference between a slab pot and a pinch pot.

44:05 Guest Well, a slab would be rolled out on a slab roller. Pinch pot, you make some lump of clay that you pinch it.

44:11 Adam Wait a minute. He could have gotten lucky.

44:13 Guest I can stump you.

44:15 Adam What is slip?

44:17 Guest Slip is liquid clay.

44:18 Drew Oh, that's it.

44:19 Adam What's an extruder?

44:20 Drew He's in.

44:20 Adam All right.

44:21 Guest Hey, brother, where you been?

44:23 Adam I missed you.

44:24 Drew Let's see. You're 23, a course on major in high school. You should be cleaning carpets now.

44:28 Adam Yeah. Are you cleaning carpets or you're doing construction labor?

44:30 Guest I'm doing well.

44:32 Adam What are you doing?

44:33 Guest Well, I'm working at a supply store.

44:35 Adam Oh, an art supply store?

44:37 Guest What's that?

44:37 Adam All right. So what do you do? Just you just smoke weed and string beads and play with clay all day, right?

44:43 Guest I haven't smoked weed for years.

44:45 Adam All right. Well, you're going to get you're going to get tired of the ceramics soon. Do you have your own kiln?

44:50 Guest I do.

44:51 Adam Wow. And this all of this doesn't translate into one ounce of extra Poon Tang, does it? Not one ounce.

44:59 Guest Oh, you know, these days, he's an artist.

45:01 Adam No, no, it doesn't.

45:03 Guest I just got over five year relationships.

45:05 Adam Oh, boy.

45:06 Drew Oh, boy.

45:06 Adam All right.

45:07 Drew You OK?

45:08 Guest Um, I don't know. I kind of actually wanted some hints on how to get through that.

45:15 Drew You sound a little depressed.

45:16 Adam No kidding. I'm getting depressed too. Hey, all you can do is work on your own life, make your life better. That's the only way to get over a bad relationship. You just got to work on your own ass. That's it. Therapy, go on long walks, listen to classical music, do a lot of push ups. Pretend like you're in prison and you're training for a fight. You know what I mean, Drew? A lot of chin ups on like the towel bar and stuff like that in the bathroom.

45:41 Drew And what you're saying in that self care is important.

45:43 Adam Would you hang up on him, please, before we talk more about clay? This kid knew about clay though, I'll tell you that. I forgot I knew so much about clay. Drew, you know what an extruder is? No. Extruder, this is how the posers make a coil pot. Instead of rolling their own coil, they stuff the clay into the extruder and then pull the handle down. It's like a big orange juice maker. And the extruded coil comes out. But that ain't old school, brother. You don't bring that extruder around here. Right?

46:17 Drew Dan, 21.

46:18 Guest Hey, what's up, guys?

46:20 Adam Hey, Dan.

46:21 Caller I actually got two questions. One, my friends smoke quite a bit of weed and I hang around with them, party with them, stuff like that. Now, I don't smoke. Question I have for you is, will the second hand smoke from that? Will that stain your system as long as actually smoking it directly?

46:36 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, if you were like in a tiny enclosed space where the smoke was the predominant makeup of the air you were breathing, yeah, it would be the same as smoking it from a cigarette, but that essentially doesn't happen.

46:52 Caller Okay.

46:53 Drew If you locked yourself in a car and lit a bonfire, yes, you would get a lot of smoke that way, but just in a passive situation in a room, no. Every addict I know wants to blame their positive urine on that fact and I've yet to have one and substantiate it.

47:06 Caller The reason I have just got a job in drug testing.

47:10 Adam Shouldn't it be negative urine? Shouldn't we start calling the drug soaked urine negative urine and start calling the clean urine positive urine to give it sort of a happier spin? Yeah, you know, why should we be punished for not doing drugs by having negative urine? You know what I'm saying?

47:26 Drew Let's talk about it during our break.

47:27 Adam All right, we'll be back after this. It is Loveline, a very special edition of Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. We're coming to you tonight from the Television and Radio Museum in beautiful Beverly Hills. Drew, you doing good?

48:04 Drew Yeah, I feel pretty good. How about you?

48:06 Adam I thought you were tired.

48:07 Drew I was, but I'm getting a second wind here. Really tired from trick-or-treating last night.

48:12 Adam Really?

48:12 Drew We covered like about eight miles.

48:14 Adam What'd you go as? Yeah, but in your neighborhood, eight miles is three houses.

48:18 Drew No, no, no, we went to somebody else's neighborhood. The houses were a long distance apart. These kids are cool.

48:22 Adam That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

48:23 Drew Oh, I see what you mean. No, no, no.

48:25 Adam You live in that, did they let black people in your neighborhood yet? Is that, did you guys vote on that recently?

48:31 Drew We had a vote.

48:32 Adam Uh-huh.

48:32 Drew And we're still waiting on the results.

48:34 Adam Colin Powell wanted to drive through and he couldn't get permission or how'd that work?

48:38 Drew Please.

48:39 Adam All right, so you went, where'd you go? Why did you go to another neighborhood? Why not your own neighborhood?

48:45 Drew Because ours is dead. I mean, they're really, they're not interested in having seen kids run around in their right.

48:50 Adam Really?

48:50 Drew Our neighbors actually told us to stay away.

48:52 Adam No, they did not.

48:53 Drew Yes, they did.

48:54 Adam No, they did not. As old money?

48:56 Drew Just old. One of them said, I've been through that. Yeah, I'm going to, you know, I'm going to turn the lights out and, you know, stay away.

49:05 Adam Really?

49:06 Drew Yeah.

49:06 Adam Oh my God.

49:07 Drew So there's somebody else's neighborhood. And we had a great time.

49:10 Adam Yeah. Where'd you go? Somewhere in Pasadena? Yeah, yeah. You walked around? Yeah. Where'd the kids go?

49:14 Drew We had 14 kids run around with us.

49:16 Adam What were your kids going?

49:17 Drew Jordan was a Pharaoh, Douglas was a baseball ghost, and Paulina was a hippie.

49:21 Adam Baseball ghost. Baseball ghost?

49:24 Drew He had like a Dodger outfit on, like it's in a weird mask.

49:27 Adam Yeah. I don't like that mixing and matching. It's not kosher.

49:31 Drew Yeah. It worked, though. It worked for him.

49:33 Adam Really?

49:33 Drew Yeah, it worked.

49:34 Adam All right. All right. I'll let him slide.

49:36 Drew Raymond, 17.

49:38 Guest What happened yesterday was me and my girlfriend weren't having sex. Right. And her dad came in, like he caught us and he like started kicking my ass, like nasty, you know. And I was wondering, like if I could report on him, I'm like, if I won't get in trouble because I have to, because his daughter also.

49:50 Drew How old is she?

49:51 Guest 11, awful.

49:53 Drew What's dating called?

49:54 Adam Did he kick your ass? And was, were you actually having sex with her when he walked in?

49:59 Guest He was hitting me in the head and like he just, I felt like something pounded me in the back of the head. And like before I know it, he was kicking my ass.

50:04 Adam Oh, no way.

50:04 Guest Yeah.

50:06 Drew Oh, my God.

50:08 Adam Oh, my God. You hurt. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Your penis was in his daughter's mouth.

50:15 Guest Yeah.

50:15 Adam And you were attached to your penis, right?

50:17 Guest Yeah.

50:17 Adam And he was kicking. He was in the room.

50:20 Guest No, he walked in. And we didn't hear it because like the room is like real close to the door, you know, and like we heard and I was trying to get up. And before I knew it, he started like pounding on me. Right.

50:28 Drew Did he hurt you?

50:29 Guest Yeah.

50:30 Adam Were you naked?

50:31 Guest Yeah.

50:32 Adam Yeah, that's good.

50:33 Guest I, you know, there's there's something great about like I try to get my clothes, you know, but at least hold on to that.

50:38 Adam You know, only a few of us have suffered the humiliation of taking a beating with an erection. Naked, naked, naked with an erection, like scrambling with an erection and being beaten.

50:50 Guest Do you know what I'm saying?

50:52 Adam Talk about it. Your brain doesn't even know how to begin to process that because your brain is still getting oral sex for a full ten minutes after it's stopped.

51:02 Drew How does fight or flight kick in?

51:05 Adam Yeah, he's lucky you didn't rape him. That's what I would have done. You said penis is a weapon. All right.

51:12 Drew Raymond, what city are you calling from? California. Yeah, so it's an issue.

51:16 Adam Oh, listen.

51:19 Drew It's not an issue because you've been with the perpetrator for three years.

51:21 Adam What did he do to you? Are you okay?

51:23 Guest Well, I have a lot of bumps on my head. He kept me in the head.

51:27 Adam That's all right. That's okay. You've learned a lesson. No more BJs in the entry hall.

51:33 Guest And can I call the center for this?

51:35 Drew You can call the authority. You can call the police for an assault.

51:37 Adam No, he wouldn't do that. You're fine.

51:40 Caller Can I call the center?

51:41 Drew The center?

51:42 Caller Yeah, the center of your ass. Of your ass.

51:46 Guest Drew, you had to keep going with him, didn't you?

51:49 Adam You didn't know that was bogus?

51:51 Drew No, I didn't know it was bogus.

51:52 Adam What guy, what Mexican guy gets beat on? First of all, all the Mexicans get beat on as part of the gang initiation. Didn't you know that?

51:59 Drew I see, I see.

51:59 Adam At 15, they all beat the crap out of each other. That's how they get in the gang. You guys know that, right? That's a rite of passage. Do not question the culture, Drew. The point is, is what guy, what guy from LA, what Mexican guy from LA is going to go report the dad for giving him a mild whooping after he's getting a BJ from her daughter? All right. You know what I'm saying?

52:23 Drew Fair enough. It's late at night. Carrie, 24.

52:25 Caller Hi.

52:26 Drew Hey.

52:28 Caller I don't know if you already know what my question was, but I just have a quick one. It's, my husband takes a lot of amphetamines. He works out a lot. And I don't know, he's on a lot. He takes a lot of pills and a lot of liquid things. And I don't know if that has an effect on his sex drive or it has anything to do with him.

52:44 Drew Carrie, do you understand how dangerous that is and how profoundly addicted he is?

52:48 Caller You know, and I tell him all the time to just lay off of them, but he...

52:52 Drew Carrie, wait, he is an addict. He's doing GHB and amphetamine?

52:56 Adam I don't know what he's doing.

52:57 Caller No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

52:58 Drew Well, I don't know.

52:59 Caller He takes...

52:59 Drew Liquid? You said the liquid.

53:01 Guest It could be Gatorade.

53:02 Caller What? I don't know. He takes aphedrine, you know, all sorts of things. He mixes them all together, like all sorts of different pills.

53:10 Guest He's got like this liquid...

53:11 Adam Perfectly normal. It's perfectly healthy.

53:13 Drew That's GHB, Carrie. The liquid is GHB.

53:16 Adam Well, you tell us how it's affected the sex drive.

53:19 Caller Well, I'm trying to ask you, if you load up on a certain amount of...

53:23 Adam Okay, but we're asking you, you've been with him before.

53:26 Caller It's affected it. It's like barely...

53:28 Drew Okay.

53:29 Adam All right.

53:30 Caller And what I also want to know is if it like shrinks things, because I think it kind of has an effect on the downstairs.

53:37 Drew Well, he may be doing steroids also and that will shrink things.

53:40 Caller And I do know one of his friends, his brother's friend was doing it and he was joking about, oh, get me some... You know what I mean?

53:47 Adam This is fine. This is how God punishes those who look good nude. You understand?

53:53 Guest Shrinks the penis.

53:54 Adam Absolutely. You don't work out, do you?

53:58 Caller Do I?

53:59 Guest Yeah.

54:00 Caller Every now and then I'm not like him.

54:01 Adam But you're not a big gal, are you?

54:04 Guest No.

54:05 Adam Yeah. You know what I can't stand? You ever see those workout couples? Yeah. They're both working out. They both look like they just got back from the tan salon. And they're both, they have to like paste it on smile. They look like, you know those couples that entered the fitness championships and they look like they have eating disorders and they look as sick as a healthy person could ever look.

54:26 Guest Right. Yeah.

54:27 Adam And it looks like if you handed them a glass they would just crush it. They would snap the stem off if you handed them a wine glass. They're so like tense.

54:37 Drew They're intense.

54:38 Adam Yeah. But it's not muscular so much. It's just that they look like dead all the time. Like they're taking a crap everywhere. They're too tan and the guys are all shaved and oh Jesus.

54:49 Drew Carrie, Carrie, you have a major problem on your hands here. Do you understand that?

54:54 Caller Yeah, I understand that.

54:56 Drew This is this is profound addictive disease and amphetamines will bring him down in a big way. He will start to get paranoid. He will start to have memory problems and mood disturbances. And some of this can be permanent. And this is not going to stop without treatment. I guarantee it.

55:12 Adam What's he do for a living?

55:14 Guest Oh, my God.

55:15 Adam UPS.

55:16 Caller He's a cop.

55:17 Adam Oh, he's a cop. Perfect.

55:19 Guest Good.

55:20 Adam He's going to pull me over and I'll get a little taste of that steroid rage on the way home.

55:24 Drew Yeah, this is this is I mean, Carrie, this is really, really serious stuff.

55:29 Caller Well, I mean, it isn't doing anything illegal, but you know, Carrie, Carrie.

55:32 Drew Yeah, this is this is as serious as addiction can get.

55:36 Caller Yeah.

55:36 Adam All right.

55:37 Drew Do you understand that?

55:38 Caller Yeah, it's just, you know, I got to get him out of there.

55:40 Adam Tell him to relax. Oh, he's married. What's he care?

55:43 Drew Why are you so, why are you so half hazard and sort of a matter of fact about this?

55:48 Caller As far as like, like I want, I want to take it.

55:50 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's an addict. I know he could die.

55:53 Guest I know.

55:54 Caller You know, as far as I know, he's not doing anything illegal. It's just the stuff that he takes. I don't know if it has anything, if it kills.

56:00 Drew Carrie, Carrie, Carrie, I don't know where to start with you.

56:04 Adam What city are you calling from?

56:06 Caller I would rather not say that.

56:07 Adam Are you not in Los Angeles?

56:09 Caller No.

56:09 Adam You're not in Los Angeles. All right, who cares?

56:12 Drew Carrie, the most serious forms of addiction are to prescription medications, not illegal medicine.

56:18 Caller Right.

56:19 Drew Do you understand that?

56:20 Caller Yeah.

56:21 Drew You have a really terrible problem on your hands here and he needs to see someone about this. And until he gets paranoid and shoots somebody, I suggest you take care of this.

56:32 Adam Drew, would you suggest that he talk to the officer psychologist? Yeah. You know, that really super hot chick who I see in the movies, the ballistic expert? Oh, no, that's the blonde.

56:45 Drew Oh, that's right.

56:46 Guest The blonde is the cop.

56:47 Adam Yeah. No, this is the police psychologist who's ultra hot. She wears those real smart AM Taylor business suits and she shows a lot of legs.

56:59 Drew The blonde here, just above the shoulder.

57:00 Adam No, the blonde is the ballistic expert. Yeah, but the brown. Brown, brown, smart, and wears a very stylishly framed glasses because you can't tell when a chick is super hot. She puts on a pair of prescription glasses. You see Cindy Crawford wearing her reading glasses. You walk right past her, but she pulls those off and does that head fling. You're on it. Yeah, he should go talk to the ultra, ultra, ultra super on fire hot police psychologist. I've never, all I've known, I've never seen one I've realized, but I've never, every movie I've ever seen, they're super hot.

57:34 Drew I've just moved to TV, that's a TV connection.

57:35 Adam Oh, TV too, and they're sexed up. They want sex.

57:40 Drew Aaron, 17.

57:41 Guest You know what's up? Okay. I was told to be really enthusiastic because you guys wanted some hopping people tonight. All right.

57:48 Adam Hang up on it, young ass.

57:50 Drew Brandon, 21.

57:51 Caller How you guys doing?

57:53 Guest Hello.

57:54 Caller Yeah, I mean, I've had the same girlfriend for about a year and a half, and we've been using condoms for about the last three months, and I cannot come with a condom for the life of me. She was on the pill for about a year, and she didn't like that, and so we tried to use condoms, and it's not working for me.

58:16 Drew Yeah. Have you tried different brands of condoms?

58:17 Caller Oh, I've tried everything on the market.

58:20 Drew Really? What about her going back on the pill? Maybe trying some different pills.

58:27 Caller The pills really lowered her libido. I mean, she was not into sex at all.

58:32 Drew Which pill?

58:33 Caller She was on Oval something, Oval, I forget.

58:38 Drew Ortho?

58:39 Adam Or Oval Dirt Track?

58:41 Drew Was it Ortho Tri-Cycling? Yeah, Ortho Tri-Cycling.

58:45 Adam Wow.

58:46 Drew And that's the only pill she tried?

58:47 Caller She was on that for about eight months.

58:49 Drew Yeah, but she should try some other pills. There are many different sort of mixtures out there of hormones that can be less likely to cause that particular side effect.

58:58 Adam It's a tough cell, though. You know what I mean? When you've tried the pill, it didn't make you feel very good. It's sort of a commitment. You can't just try it one night and try another one the next night. It's a tough cell for a guy to get his girlfriend on to that stuff. How about she just polishes you off with a little oral like Drew does?

59:15 Caller That's fine. I mean, if I take the condom off, I mean, five minutes later, it's done, you know? But, you know, it's nice to come in the act, you know? And it's just not happening.

59:25 Adam How old is this guy?

59:26 Drew 21.

59:27 Adam 21? Yeah, give yourself something to look forward to. Finish with the oral. You come in the act when you're 30.

59:34 Drew Marie 18.

59:35 Adam These kids, they want it all these days, you know? Come in the act.

59:39 Guest Come in the act.

59:41 Adam Come in the hamper. They're coming everywhere.

59:43 Drew Marie.

59:44 Guest Yeah?

59:45 Adam What's up?

59:45 Drew What's going on?

59:46 Guest Um, yeah, I have a question.

59:49 Guest It's not really a question. Yeah, it is.

59:52 Guest Never mind.

59:53 Guest Anyway, um, I have a problem.

59:55 Adam Hold on, new record. Took Drew one hour and 12 minutes before he punched a microphone tonight. See, it's a new personal best for you, Drew. He's been averaging three to six minutes into the show.

1:00:07 Drew This brings you it too, in the stand. Yeah. Uh, Marie, so what's the deal?

1:00:11 Guest I don't enjoy sex. I've been having sex for about a year and a half now, and I don't dislike it, but I can't get an orgasm.

1:00:21 Drew Same partner?

1:00:23 Guest Yeah. I've had about probably one real orgasm.

1:00:27 Adam Hold on a second.

1:00:27 Drew Your belly? Yeah, my stomach.

1:00:28 Adam Really? Yeah.

1:00:29 Guest Yeah, and I don't understand.

1:00:36 Adam Well, no.

1:00:37 Guest I feel like one because I just I can't get into it.

1:00:40 Adam All right. I was listening to Drew's stomach. Thank God it wasn't his ass.

1:00:44 Drew The same?

1:00:45 Adam That was your ass.

1:00:46 Drew Again, same partner, one partner?

1:00:48 Guest Yeah.

1:00:49 Drew The whole time?

1:00:50 Guest Yeah.

1:00:51 Adam How often do you have sex with him?

1:00:53 Guest Almost every day.

1:00:54 Adam Oh, God bless you. This is a real woman.

1:00:57 Caller You hear this?

1:00:59 Adam You hear this, ladies? She hates sex. She hates sex with a guy. She feels like she can't even feel it. And she has sex with him every day.

1:01:06 Caller Not every day. It's like not every day.

1:01:10 Guest I don't know, but a lot of times a day.

1:01:12 Adam Good enough.

1:01:13 Guest A lot of times a day. Not every day.

1:01:15 Adam Not every day, but a lot of times a day. Yeah. I see. I don't, I don't. I understand. It's all coming into focus now. At one point in the call, I thought it was every day. Now I realize.

1:01:26 Drew It's a lot of times a day.

1:01:27 Caller A lot of times a day.

1:01:29 Drew Marie. Yeah? Maybe not into this guy.

1:01:33 Guest But I am.

1:01:35 Adam Oh, certainly.

1:01:37 Guest It makes you feel like a vegetable.

1:01:39 Adam Let's get to the bottom of this. You are not into this guy.

1:01:42 Drew Makes you feel like a vegetable. How nice.

1:01:46 Guest Well, with orally, it's okay.

1:01:50 Drew You have an orgasm then?

1:01:51 Guest Yeah.

1:01:52 Adam Oh, you do?

1:01:53 Guest Yeah.

1:01:54 Adam Oh, jeez.

1:01:55 Drew You're ahead of the game, Marie. Wait a minute.

1:01:59 Adam Most women, how old is she?

1:02:01 Drew 18.

1:02:01 Adam Most 18-year-old women don't have an orgasm.

1:02:04 Drew Period.

1:02:05 Adam Okay, period. But especially via intercourse. You understand?

1:02:10 Guest Yeah.

1:02:11 Drew And you may never have it during intercourse. That's not uncommon at all.

1:02:14 Adam No, it is not.

1:02:16 Guest No, it is not.

1:02:18 Adam No, it is not.

1:02:19 Guest Thank you.

1:02:21 Adam So true. Oh my God. Is that true? Guys, you know what I'm talking about? Jesus Christ, like I had some kind of curse with that. I swear to God.

1:02:29 Drew Yeah, Adam, there's only one variable here that's fixed.

1:02:32 Adam What's the common denominator?

1:02:34 Caller How dare you?

1:02:36 Adam How dare you bring that up in front of this lively partisan crowd? Humiliate me. Jesus. But okay, listen, you're having an orgasm and it's through oral sex and it gives you oral sex every day that you have sex?

1:02:52 Guest Um, no.

1:02:54 Adam How often does he give you that? How many orgasms do you have a week?

1:02:59 Guest Um, one.

1:03:02 Adam One, but you'll have sex multi-times.

1:03:04 Guest Yeah.

1:03:05 Adam So why doesn't he perform oral sex on you if he knows that's what'll do it for you?

1:03:10 Guest Because I, he doesn't really know.

1:03:13 Drew Doesn't know the un...

1:03:14 Guest I don't want to tell him.

1:03:15 Adam Are you faking an orgasm when he's having intercourse with you?

1:03:18 Guest Yeah.

1:03:19 Guest Oh man.

1:03:21 Adam Bless you. Okay listen...

1:03:23 Drew You gotta get more honest.

1:03:24 Guest You've got to.

1:03:24 Adam Well, okay, but don't tell him you've been faking for the last year. Just tell him to perform some oral sex on you and let him finish you off, all right? That's understood. You get no rhythm after a while. You learned to accept defeat.

1:03:37 Guest It's a little more serious.

1:03:39 Adam No, no. Real quick.

1:03:40 Drew Come on, come on, come on.

1:03:41 Guest Okay, okay. I got a pap smear done and it came back with some sort of abnormal, abnormally. And I'm wondering if that could be caused of it's STD or is it something having to do with my cervix or anything like that?

1:03:57 Drew What kind of question was that?

1:03:58 Guest I don't know.

1:03:58 Adam What's that?

1:03:59 Drew You had abnormal cells?

1:04:00 Guest Hurry.

1:04:01 Drew That is ward virus more often than not, okay? And that could be an STD.

1:04:05 Adam Fantastic. Sleep well, honey. Here we go. Just see the crabs are in STD. It's one or the other. Good night. Let's go to the next call, Drew. What are you doing over there?

1:04:16 Drew I'm having trouble getting my, there we go.

1:04:18 Adam Good night.

1:04:19 Drew There we go. Eric, 26.

1:04:21 Guest Hey, how you doing? Good. Good. I got a question. I'm 26 years old and I have a problem with premature ejaculation about 90% of the time.

1:04:30 Adam Yeah. How long does it take you?

1:04:33 Guest It's always five minutes or less.

1:04:39 Adam And yeah, five minutes is a long time. I mean, if you think about, you know, holding your breath for five minutes or getting in the ring with Tyson or, you know, at times it takes the...

1:04:51 Guest Not seriously though. You know, my sex life with my girlfriend has gone downhill within the past four or five months or so.

1:04:59 Drew So this is a new problem?

1:05:01 Guest Yeah, it's fairly new. Four or five months old.

1:05:04 Drew Where do you think it's coming from?

1:05:06 Guest I don't know. I don't know. You know, when we first started going together, we first started going together a couple years ago, it was awesome, but...

1:05:16 Adam Maybe your penis has gotten lazy. You know, your penis is no different than an employee.

1:05:22 Drew It's really...

1:05:23 Adam Your penis is an employee of the vagina. It works for the vagina. Okay. You punch in, you know, and on the first day, first day on the job, what's that employee like, Drew?

1:05:33 Drew Sweep and clean.

1:05:33 Adam Ten minutes early, right? Yes, sir. No, sir. Want a little more coffee, Mr. Vagina? You're looking good today, Mr. Vagina. That's a smart tie you're wearing, Mr. Vagina. Yeah, sure. I can see how you got to the middle. You're very smart, very sharp. But what do you like after a year number two of your job? You're stealing stuff from the supply room. You know what I'm saying? You're showing up late. You're punching in for other people. Your lunches have gone from 30 minutes to an hour and 30 minutes. Friday is Rum Friday.

1:06:10 Guest You're getting drunk by noon.

1:06:12 Adam You're cutting out early. People are covering for you. You're urinating in the coffee maker. Oh, yeah.

1:06:17 Guest Is there anything I can do for this, you know? Yeah.

1:06:20 Adam How does he breathe new life into his penis?

1:06:22 Drew What's going on in the relationship?

1:06:24 Guest Well, you know, I'd say I feel within the past couple of months, the relationship has gone pretty bad because of it.

1:06:36 Adam Yeah, but maybe one bad and this is a byproduct of that.

1:06:40 Drew Absolutely.

1:06:42 Adam Really? This doesn't work with guys?

1:06:43 Drew No, no, it does work with guys.

1:06:44 Adam It does?

1:06:45 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:06:45 Adam Okay, listen, start whacking off in advance before you go into work, like I do.

1:06:50 Guest I haven't tried that.

1:06:52 Adam You already tried it. It didn't work. Well, just have oral sex on her. You're on the clock as soon as you start having oral sex.

1:06:58 Drew I think something's wrong.

1:06:59 Adam You tried that? Keep doing it. I don't know.

1:07:02 Drew I think there's something wrong with his relationship. He's sort of overwhelmed for some reason.

1:07:06 Adam He doesn't seem too enthusiastic about it.

1:07:08 Drew No, he seems so anxious and so sort of like lost at it. You can imagine if you're not in command of yourself, you're lost in that relationship and unclear what's going on. Things can happen.

1:07:19 Adam So maybe not in command of yourself, you mean not in command of your penis?

1:07:23 Drew I think that's sort of a metaphor for that too. Yeah. Dave 20.

1:07:26 Guest Hey, how are you guys doing?

1:07:27 Adam Would you say you're in command of your penis in your relationship?

1:07:31 Drew I'm the commander, yes.

1:07:32 Adam You'd be like, would you say you're a sergeant, your penis is a private or you'd be like a general, and your penis would be maybe just off the bus from the enlistment office? So you're saying, Drew, you are a four-star general and your penis is a recruit that just got off a bus from Iowa.

1:07:53 Drew No, he'd probably be a major. Oh, really?

1:07:56 Guest Yeah.

1:07:56 Adam Okay.

1:07:57 Drew Corporal.

1:07:57 Get on your knees, scumbag!

1:08:02 Adam All right, who is this?

1:08:04 Guest Dave.

1:08:05 Guest 20.

1:08:06 Adam What's up, Dave?

1:08:06 Guest Quick question. A couple of questions, actually. Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, maybe a day or two after, I notice that I get this rash on the head of my penis, with pimple-like, like pimple-like, and it burns.

1:08:23 Drew Do they blister?

1:08:26 Guest I can't really say if they blister, but...

1:08:27 Drew Let me just say that...

1:08:28 Adam Drew, as the general of your penis, you would not accept that from a new recruit.

1:08:32 Guest Unacceptable.

1:08:33 Adam That's right. KP duty all the way, right?

1:08:35 Drew Clean up, baby.

1:08:36 Adam Yes, you'll be peeling potatoes in the mess hall.

1:08:40 Drew Dave, really, a rule of thumb is that anything that's painful, any painful rash on the penis is...

1:08:45 Guest If it rashes up, it turns red, and it's like a...

1:08:48 Drew Listen, is herpes until proven otherwise? So a doctor really needs to look at that rash when you're having an outbreak, okay?

1:08:56 Guest Okay.

1:08:56 Drew Because it could be herpes, it could be some allergy, could be just eczema or something, but are you using a condom?

1:09:02 Guest Um, well, that's another thing that she, every time we use a condom, she actually just went in to the doctor about this, that there's something wrong with her vagina accepting a condom, that she gets an outburst every time.

1:09:15 Drew Doesn't accept the vagina, doesn't accept the condom.

1:09:17 Adam So you're saying her vagina gets an outburst?

1:09:19 Guest Or something, I don't know, that even the doctor prescribed that she cannot...

1:09:22 Drew No, the vagina doesn't accept the condom.

1:09:24 Adam Yeah.

1:09:24 Drew That's what he said.

1:09:25 Guest Yeah, that she can't use condoms no more, that now she's on the pill, you know.

1:09:29 Drew Yeah, you guys, I think, maybe need to go...

1:09:31 Adam Hold on, we got to vote for that voucher system.

1:09:33 Guest Where are you calling from? El Segundo.

1:09:36 Adam El Segundo, all right. That would be within the jurisdiction of what is that, Prop 35?

1:09:40 Drew Yeah.

1:09:40 Adam I got to vote for that. Okay, everyone go to the hospital.

1:09:45 Drew A doctor needs to look at that rash when you're having an outbreak, okay?

1:09:48 Adam No problem.

1:09:49 Drew I'm not quite clear what's going on here with her.

1:09:51 Adam Her vagina sounds like something...

1:09:54 Drew I'm glad she's being taken care of, but it doesn't sound like they have a clear diagnosis for her either, so...

1:09:59 Adam Drew, I know we're running late for break, but aren't we getting close... Because you say a doctor has to look at the condition when you're having the condition.

1:10:07 Drew No, with herpes, it's kind of a clinical diagnosis. That's why you need to do this.

1:10:11 Adam So that's yes. Right. Now, aren't we getting to the point where one could take a picture of one's junk...

1:10:18 Drew And send it over the web or something?

1:10:20 Adam Get it to the doctor.

1:10:22 Drew And just get your sniffing dogs out, mobilized, right?

1:10:27 Adam How dare you poke holes in my ideas, Drew? How dare you?

1:10:31 Drew I'm just suggesting that...

1:10:32 Adam I'm saying this is something that could be done, right?

1:10:35 Drew Yes.

1:10:35 Adam Sooner than later.

1:10:37 Drew Yes.

1:10:37 Adam Thank you. We'll take a break.

1:10:46 Guest Loveline, I'll be right back.

1:10:55 Adam Yes, this is Loveline. There we go with the microphone. I'm Adam Corolla. That is my partner over there, Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. We're at the Television and Radio Museum tonight in beautiful Beverly Hills doing a live broadcast. Drew, here we go.

1:11:11 Drew Let's go ahead to calls.

1:11:12 Adam Who are we talking to?

1:11:13 Drew Tony is 28. Tony.

1:11:14 Guest Hi, Adam. Hi, Dr. Drew.

1:11:16 Drew Hi, Tony.

1:11:17 Guest Hi. My question is, is that my husband and I suspect that his father, who's in his 50s, is having a serious sexual identity crisis. He's on his third marriage and with each relationship, he has verbally and mentally abused each woman. And with his first two wives, there was also some physical abuse.

1:11:38 Adam They may have had it coming.

1:11:41 Guest Well, one of them may be.

1:11:42 Adam I see. What's that have to do with sexuality, though?

1:11:46 Guest Well, here's the thing.

1:11:47 Guest He has a very difficult time dealing with strong women, and we think he may be gay or bisexual. And we felt that way for some time. Well, the clincher is that we're all in business together, and recently my husband and I were clearing out the history cache on our web browser and came across many sites that our father had searched during his work week. And these were all, the majority of them were all porn sites, both male and female, but primarily gay porn sites on sexuality.

1:12:16 Adam Well, he's definitely gay. Listen, that stuff is revolting to heterosexual guys. If I see any guy getting cornholed, I will heave.

1:12:27 Guest Well, and that's what I asked my husband.

1:12:30 Adam Right after I masturbate, I will heave.

1:12:32 Guest Yeah, that's what I sort of thought, because initially I was like, well, maybe my husband, but then I'm like, you would never really go to those sites, and he's like, why would I?

1:12:40 Adam I have told my dad many, many times, I said, Dad, listen, I just sat him down the other day, we're eating lunch, I said, Dad, listen, I'm a big celebrity. You're nothing.

1:12:49 Drew B slash C.

1:12:49 Adam I'm a B slash C celebrity who's had a couple of cable shows in his day and a semi-national radio show. You're nothing. If you ever decide to become a woman or go gay on me, I will have a Drifter kill you. So help me Christ, you'll be gone. You understand? You should have that conversation with him.

1:13:10 Guest Well, no, no, because I-

1:13:12 Adam What's your problem?

1:13:12 Guest We don't have a problem necessarily if that's his choice. And our concern, we just want him to be happy and he's having troubles again now in his third marriage. And my husband is truly the only person that my father-in-law trusts and respects. My husband is the only child and my father-in-law has raised him as a single parent for many years. The question we have, knowing that we know now, and he has approached us a number of times trying to open a dialogue about-

1:13:44 Drew About what?

1:13:44 Guest Just couples. And one quote was how unnatural the unions of man and woman are and living as a couple and how difficult it is.

1:13:55 Adam You must have some compelling points there, Drew. Yeah, he's on to something.

1:14:00 Drew That's been your point of view.

1:14:01 Adam He's a sage, this man.

1:14:03 Guest Well, and we've-

1:14:04 Adam All right, listen, what kind of store? Do you guys have a Christmas and July store over at the mall? Because if so, that's gay. What do you guys run there?

1:14:13 Guest What I really don't want to say.

1:14:15 Adam What is it? Come on.

1:14:16 Guest It's totally kosher.

1:14:17 Guest There's nothing weird, but I would rather not say.

1:14:21 Adam Oh, please. What business? It'll drive me insane.

1:14:24 Drew Is it food? Is it clothing? What is it?

1:14:28 Guest I really don't want to say, but it's...

1:14:29 Adam Cell phones?

1:14:30 Guest No.

1:14:31 Adam Eyeglasses. Is it at the mall? Did you put it on hold?

1:14:37 Drew Yeah.

1:14:38 Adam True.

1:14:38 Drew That's usually your way of dealing with it.

1:14:40 Adam But that was her silence. Oh, who cares? Listen.

1:14:42 Caller Stay at...

1:14:44 Adam Where's your shop? Is it at a mall?

1:14:46 Guest No. No, it's a non-storefront business.

1:14:49 Adam That is narrowing it down. So, listen, don't get involved.

1:14:53 Guest Well, okay. Well, that is my question. It's just because he's trying to approach us on this.

1:14:58 Drew We'll talk to him.

1:14:58 Adam What the hell do you want me to do? Let him approach your husband. Tell your husband, don't have a talk with Bob.

1:15:03 Drew We're not weird for him, though. Come on.

1:15:05 Adam Well, I know, but how weird for her?

1:15:08 Drew Not as weird as it would be for him.

1:15:10 Adam You tell him to go out, have themselves a smart cocktail, and hash out the whole gay thing.

1:15:15 Guest That's what I told him to do.

1:15:17 Adam Okay. All right. Oh, boy. I'll tell you. What would you do if your dad came out?

1:15:24 Guest He was gay. Would you be all right with that? You would?

1:15:28 Adam You know you wouldn't. See, what Drew is thinking right now is he's picturing himself strangling his gay dad, and but he's going, my Christ, I'm on the radio. So he just takes a long pause, which is that's admittance of guilt.

1:15:39 Drew It's hard to know what to do.

1:15:40 Adam What would you do? What would you do?

1:15:42 Drew I'd accept him unconditionally.

1:15:44 Adam You would? Okay. But you wouldn't let him around the kids, right?

1:15:48 Adam It's common knowledge that the gay men, they get a hankering for penis of any age, right, Drew?

1:15:53 Drew No, it's not that. It infects the kids, see?

1:15:56 Adam Oh, I see.

1:15:56 Drew It's an effective age. Yeah, that's it.

1:15:58 Adam That's right.

1:15:59 Drew Randy, 26.

1:16:00 Adam Hi. Randy.

1:16:02 Guest Yes.

1:16:02 Adam What's up, there?

1:16:03 Guest Adam, Drew. Adam, I just want to say that I'm an honorary member of the Cincinnati Jackers.

1:16:09 Adam Thank you. Oh, was that my masturbatory club I came up with?

1:16:13 Guest Yep.

1:16:13 Adam Yes, thank you. The Cincinnati Chapter. Fantastic. What's up?

1:16:19 Guest My question is, are there any long-term effects from using over-the-counter sleep aids, like every day?

1:16:24 Drew Which one?

1:16:26 Guest Any of them, Sleep-N-All, Ni-Tol, Tylenol PM. I pretty much use them all.

1:16:32 Drew Well, they're mostly just Benadryl, and it can cause some urinary retention and obstruction.

1:16:38 Adam Really?

1:16:39 Drew Yeah. Are you having that problem?

1:16:41 Adam Yeah, I do. I take those things.

1:16:43 Drew Do you have trouble peeing in the morning or late at night?

1:16:45 Adam No, are you kidding? I pee while I'm asleep in the middle of the night.

1:16:47 Drew But it's all going to make you urge to pee.

1:16:49 Adam I wet my bed every night. I have no difficulty. What are you talking about? I pee on the comforter.

1:16:54 Drew There's usually some Tylenol in these things, and that can be an issue for your kidneys over the long term.

1:17:00 Adam Is there Tylenol in those things?

1:17:02 Drew There's usually Tylenol PM and things like that.

1:17:04 Adam Well, there's Tylenol PM, which has Tylenol in it, I hear that. But what about these other ones, like these, you know...

1:17:11 Caller I'd have to look at the labels.

1:17:13 Adam And how many of these things can you take? How can I jack this thing up to real prescription type thing? Why not?

1:17:20 Drew You'll get what's called anecholinergic delirium. You'll get sick, get agitated. Yeah. You'll be awake, more awake.

1:17:26 Adam Really?

1:17:27 Drew Yeah.

1:17:28 Adam Well, why? If two makes you tired, shouldn't the whole bottle really just knock you down?

1:17:33 Drew Eventually, some of these medicines, you get a different...

1:17:36 Adam They come back around.

1:17:37 Drew Yeah, different effect.

1:17:38 Adam Right. It's like, it's like when, when stuff smells so bad, it eventually starts smelling like pizza.

1:17:44 Drew It's like what happens to dogs. Right.

1:17:47 Adam I decided that because dogs' nose was like a thousand times more sensitive than a man's nose and that they actually stuff their face in other dogs' fresh fecal matter in the park, that the fact that it was a thousand times more sensitive than their man's did not make it smell a thousand times worse, that eventually you go around and it smells like pizza.

1:18:09 Drew Or lilacs.

1:18:10 Adam Or lilacs.

1:18:10 Drew Yes.

1:18:11 Adam Right. Eventually, right, it becomes overwhelming and it starts smelling like pizza. And you're saying that these sleeving pills will start smelling like pizza eventually.

1:18:18 Drew That's right. That's what I'm saying. All right. Melissa.

1:18:20 Adam I take four when I get home. Is that good?

1:18:22 Drew No. Melissa, 22. You can also get, if there is Tylenol in these things, you can get liver failure from like eight.

1:18:27 Adam Well, but I always wash them down with booze.

1:18:30 Drew That's much better. Melissa.

1:18:31 Caller Yeah. 22. Yeah. I'm wondering how I could have gotten an abnormal pap result when I've never had sex.

1:18:39 Adam She's wild? 22? What happened?

1:18:43 Caller I'm not sure.

1:18:44 Drew No, she means why haven't you had sex, right? Is that what you mean?

1:18:46 Adam The gynecologist is like, well, let's see. Let me get the speculum in there. Let me get some of these cobwebs out of the way. All right. Here we go. There it is.

1:18:57 Drew I don't see how you can really get HPV without having been sexually active.

1:19:02 Adam Why haven't you been sexually active at the ripe old age of 22?

1:19:05 Caller I've had boyfriends, but I guess they've always just not thought they were the one.

1:19:10 Guest You're fat.

1:19:12 Adam Oh, Drew, now hold on. Is that Drew?

1:19:14 Caller No.

1:19:16 Adam Seriously?

1:19:16 Caller Yeah.

1:19:17 Adam Long pause there. Drew wants to know.

1:19:22 Guest All right.

1:19:23 Adam Are you religious?

1:19:25 Caller Not especially.

1:19:26 Adam And did your dad do anything weird to you?

1:19:30 Guest Huh?

1:19:30 Caller No. I'm used to on a swim team and I'm wondering if like I could have picked up something communal from like a swimming pool?

1:19:36 Drew No.

1:19:36 Guest No.

1:19:38 Drew No.

1:19:38 Adam Do you have an uncle that did something weird to you?

1:19:40 Caller No. Nothing.

1:19:42 Drew I'm just trying to figure out how you...

1:19:42 Caller I'm just wondering if they could have mixed up my slide results or like how I could have ended up being told that I had abnormal results to a pap with no sexual...

1:19:50 Drew Well, you couldn't have abnormal results without HPV.

1:19:53 Adam Yeah. Look on the bright side.

1:19:55 Drew Did they tell you you have HPV or...

1:19:57 Caller No, they just said they would be doing screaming for it.

1:19:59 Drew Well, you just have an abnormal pap. Drew, hold on.

1:20:01 Adam Why have we had a hundred of these calls lately? Here's how it goes. I'm no gynecologist, but I'm fast becoming one from doing this show. They get down there, they do the pap smear. They find abnormal cells, right? Now, that doesn't mean cancer.

1:20:16 Drew It could mean inflammation. It could mean HPV.

1:20:17 Adam That means abnormal cells.

1:20:18 Drew It means something, yes.

1:20:20 Adam It means something. That's the reason why you do the pap smear, so that they can find abnormal cells, which means this could be pre-cancerous, pre-

1:20:30 Drew The first go-round usually means look again, look for more.

1:20:34 Adam Why can't they figure out what the abnormal cells mean? Can't they read the abnormal cells?

1:20:40 Drew Can't they go to these? Sometimes they can.

1:20:42 Adam This is my crotch sniffing dog, sure as hell I can tell what's going on in there. They know the difference between cancer and warts. Hell yeah. The beagle knows cancer and the Dalmatian knows warts. They call him Wardy. That's his name. Randy 18. No, no, we're going to break.

1:21:01 Drew Really?

1:21:02 Guest Yeah.

1:21:02 Adam Are we?

1:21:03 Drew This is early for you.

1:21:04 Adam It is?

1:21:04 Drew No, no, Randy.

1:21:06 Guest Yeah, um, today I went to school, right? And my friend, like, Viagra's police told it from his dad. And he gave it to me. And I took it. And I've been having, like, a heart attack, like, all day.

1:21:14 Drew What's the dose you took?

1:21:15 Adam What did he eat? Viagra.

1:21:17 Guest I don't know. He gave me, like, some pill. I don't know. I wouldn't know.

1:21:19 Drew What did it look like?

1:21:20 Guest I was like a little blue pill.

1:21:21 Adam Huh, that's it. What was it shaped like?

1:21:24 Guest Like, I don't know. Like a little, like a square or a rectangle or something.

1:21:28 Drew It's kind of a funny shape.

1:21:29 Guest Yeah.

1:21:29 Guest I think this guy's full of ass.

1:21:31 Drew That's what I thought too.

1:21:32 Adam How many did you take?

1:21:33 Guest One.

1:21:34 Guest Oh, please.

1:21:35 Adam What kind of blue is it?

1:21:36 Drew What kind of blue?

1:21:37 Guest Like a baby blue.

1:21:38 Drew Oh, no.

1:21:39 Guest That isn't. I would have said baby blue.

1:21:42 Drew Well, he said 50 milligrams of dark blue.

1:21:45 Guest Really? Give me one of those.

1:21:48 Adam You mean the lighter ones, the lower dose?

1:21:49 Drew That's what I'm wondering.

1:21:50 Guest I don't know.

1:21:51 Adam Oh, Drew, you're an idiot. You don't know what's going on. Go ahead, Randy. Let's go through a jackass and hang up, would you please?

1:21:57 Guest What?

1:21:58 Adam Okay, so you took the Viagra and you had an erection all day.

1:22:02 Guest Yeah. Where do I go right now?

1:22:05 Adam You do?

1:22:05 Guest Yeah.

1:22:06 Guest All right, well, bring it by the studio.

1:22:08 Guest What?

1:22:09 Adam Let Drew give it a thump.

1:22:10 Drew Does it hurt?

1:22:11 Guest No.

1:22:12 Adam And how long ago did you take this pill?

1:22:14 Guest Like around nine in the morning.

1:22:15 Adam Oh, that is a lightweight. You did not have an erection. It last 14 and a half hours.

1:22:23 Drew That is the case.

1:22:23 Adam The area was full of crap. Hang up on it.

1:22:25 Guest Maybe that will tickle into my apple.

1:22:27 Adam Yeah.

1:22:31 Drew Hold on.

1:22:31 Adam We have had like ten of these the last three nights. Here it is.

1:22:35 Guest Every time I go, you know, my balls, they weigh like 30 pounds, you know.

1:22:43 Adam Any time it sounds like Cheech and or Chung is calling this show with his nuts that were too big to lift into the back of the minivan, just hang up on them. So stop trying to help people, Drew.

1:22:56 Drew Okay. You're right.

1:22:57 Adam You understand?

1:22:57 Drew Let's go to break.

1:22:58 Adam It's all the same, dude. You know what I mean?

1:23:00 Drew Oh yeah.

1:23:01 Adam Okay. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break and we'll be back from the Television and Radio Museum after this.

1:23:18 Guest Coming, coming right back.

1:23:20 Guest Oh, okay.

1:23:23 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Forget about the phone number. I don't want your calls. Drew, where are we going here?

1:23:33 Drew Let's go right here. Madison, whoops.

1:23:36 Adam Madison?

1:23:37 Drew Who's this? 19.

1:23:38 Guest Hello.

1:23:39 Adam What's up?

1:23:39 Guest Adam, I just want to let you know that I would vote for you for president.

1:23:42 Adam Well, thank you.

1:23:44 Drew That's scary.

1:23:44 Adam I'm running. Is Pat Paulson still alive?

1:23:47 Guest Why?

1:23:48 Adam Because he dies. I'm going to run.

1:23:49 Drew Go for the fourth party.

1:23:50 Guest Excellent. Well, I was wondering the consequences of genital piercing.

1:23:56 Drew Well, we actually are less concerned with the consequences than the substrate who would go ahead and have a genital piercing.

1:24:04 Adam You could be my minister of got goose by your grandfather. Is that what happened to you?

1:24:11 Drew I got beaten by dad.

1:24:12 Adam What happened? Which is it? Who did what to you?

1:24:14 Guest No, nothing. Totally. I live with my dad and my mom lives in the next ten over. I have a close relationship with both of us.

1:24:21 Drew When did you leave your mom?

1:24:23 Guest My parents got divorced and I was 12.

1:24:27 Drew When you left your mom?

1:24:29 Guest No, I just moved out with my dad. I left with him.

1:24:33 Drew When you were 12? Don't you think that's a little peculiar?

1:24:36 Guest No. My sister has a close relationship with my mom and I have a close relationship with my dad.

1:24:42 Drew What's going on between you and your mom?

1:24:45 Guest Nothing. I like living with my dad better. My mom and I have a really close relationship.

1:24:51 Adam Oh yeah, you guys are thick as thieves. You see each other on Thanksgiving and on Easter.

1:24:55 Guest No, I see her pretty much every day.

1:24:57 Adam Alright, stop cramping on my good points.

1:25:00 Drew What's the relationship like?

1:25:02 Guest Oh, it's good. You know, we talk every day and...

1:25:05 Adam Alright, so listen, come on, what happened to you that you think is a good idea to put a spear through your labia?

1:25:11 Guest Nothing. I just, I think it looks good and...

1:25:15 Adam Oh, sure.

1:25:16 Guest It's done.

1:25:18 Adam Yeah, it's very beautiful. Listen, listen, that's, listen, listen, all you nipple-piercing nutjobs and you vagina-holer-poker-inners. Listen, you screwballs, that is one area you don't need to work on. That's fine. I see some boobs, I don't need any jewelry hanging off of them. That's fine.

1:25:36 Guest I like boobs. Boobs are jewelry, you understand?

1:25:40 Adam You want to do something, you get a nose job. You do something about that bad haircut your friends won't tell you about. You do something with that big ass. You work on the cottage cheese and the cellulite and the varicose veins. You do something with that. Don't worry about dressing up the vagina, that's fine. All of you screwballs. Who sees that? You know what I mean?

1:26:04 Drew It's like, oh boy.

1:26:05 Adam This chick's a pig. Wait a minute, she's got a hoop hanging from her lip. I'm into that now.

1:26:10 Guest I was all wrong.

1:26:13 Adam Oh please, you have to be screwed up.

1:26:15 Guest No, I'm not at all. You gotta believe me.

1:26:17 Drew Let me ask you this. No one ever struck you when you were growing up?

1:26:20 Guest No, never.

1:26:21 Drew Never?

1:26:22 Guest Never.

1:26:23 Drew And why did your parents break up?

1:26:25 Guest Well, my mom's like a bit of a control freak and my dad just didn't want to put up with it so he left her.

1:26:31 Drew Is he an addict or an alcoholic? Uh-uh, not at all. What do you mean a control freak?

1:26:35 Guest Well, my mom, she just thought she needed to control him. She was a workaholic.

1:26:41 Drew What does that mean?

1:26:42 Guest She just worked a lot.

1:26:44 Drew What does the control mean? What does that mean? She tried to control him?

1:26:47 Guest Like with her mind telling him that she always had to go to work and go to...

1:26:53 Drew Imagine that controlling. She has to go to work.

1:26:56 Guest Shocking.

1:26:57 Adam Talk about manipulation. I'm leaving.

1:27:00 Guest I'll be back in about 11 hours.

1:27:03 Adam Stop trying to run my life. I feel like I'm in a cage.

1:27:08 Guest How did you guys get something happened to me, Adam?

1:27:11 Adam Listen, you want to get your labia pierced. That means something's wrong. Now we're getting little flashes of it with controlling mom. When did you lose your virginity?

1:27:21 Guest I was 17.

1:27:22 Adam And how old was the guy?

1:27:24 Guest He was 19.

1:27:25 Adam I see. Nothing else, huh?

1:27:27 Guest No, huh?

1:27:28 Adam Never raped, never beaten, never abused.

1:27:30 Guest Never.

1:27:31 Drew Mom and dad never got physically... Mom and dad never got aggressive with each other physically?

1:27:35 Guest Uh-uh, never. Not that I ever got aggressive.

1:27:36 Adam Well, go ahead and get that piercing.

1:27:38 Guest Oh, so there's no bad consequences?

1:27:40 Adam No. I hope it rusts and you get tetanus and you get locked vagina.

1:27:44 Drew Bleeding, infection.

1:27:46 Adam Do they have locked vagina?

1:27:48 Drew Madison, think about it. Somebody's putting a piece of metal through your soft tissue. Don't you think something could happen?

1:27:55 Adam I don't let her do it.

1:27:56 Drew It's probably nobody. It's amazing how little does happen in point of view.

1:27:59 Adam You know, you chicks are so screwy with that. I do it for me. I do it for me. I know it. Why are you buying that lingerie? I buy it for me. I wear it for me. I feel sexy.

1:28:12 Drew I did a program with one of these piercing guys who was adamant that we didn't understand this was a rite of passage and there was a reclaiming of one's, I don't know, something.

1:28:20 Adam Listen, is he Samoan? Even if you are a white guy from Orange County.

1:28:25 Drew So now you got a bunch of stuff on you, what's changed? What's different? Except you made a statement that you've done something to your body.

1:28:32 Adam Drew, when you see a chandelier hanging from a guy's dork, you've made a very strong statement. You really asserted yourself.

1:28:42 Drew Write a passage.

1:28:43 Adam Have fun all you screwballs. You're not fooling me. All you idiots with all your tats and piercings and your big jacked up jeeps with your god damn ski racks all over the place and your snowboard hanging out every window of every car and your big malamute everywhere. You idiots, you guys out of your Mountain Dew commercials. You're not fooling me. Go ahead.

1:29:08 Drew Laura's 18.

1:29:09 Guest Laura.

1:29:12 Adam I hate anyone who makes a statement. I really do.

1:29:15 Drew Of any kind.

1:29:16 Adam Of any kind. Through dress or appearance. It drives me nuts. I don't like any of them. I don't like the biker guys. These guys are clods. You idiots with the... You guys who like to take the muffler off your Harley and have the thing bored and stroked and then drive up a canyon at four in the morning and wake up every goddamn person in the neighborhood. I like to take a half and crowbar to your head, you pigs. And all you guys, you homos with your mock turtlenecks and your two-tone hair and you yuppie guys. And all you, all you, you bodybuilder guys and all you, you like, you mummy rockin guys who wear the black trench coats. And every one of you who's trying to make a statement through your parents, I wish you'd just go kill yourselves. I really do. I can't stand looking at any of you. And all I see is one big neurotic, screwed up ball of person coming down the street. And that goes for you women too. All you Pam Anderson wannabes, you female female impersonators. Oh, with your 11-inch stiletto heels and fake boobs. And you chicks who think it looks good to draw an outline of your lips around your lips. You screw balls. You're black chicks with your hair extensions everywhere. And you idiot guys, black guys who look like Puff Daddy and all this attitude. Who are you guys fooling? Just a bunch of scared kids. Please, trying to change everything. Somehow, the way we look at you is going to change the way you look at you. Well, it ain't working.

1:30:50 Drew Quickly, Laura 18.

1:30:51 Adam Thank you.

1:30:52 Drew Laura?

1:30:53 Guest Hi.

1:30:54 Drew Hi, quickly now.

1:30:55 Guest Okay, um... Well...

1:30:59 Drew I'm glad you sped it up.

1:31:00 Adam Yeah, you glad that, Drew? Yeah, good. I was right in the middle of a jag. I was just getting to the Asians with their lowered...

1:31:08 Caller with their lowered accura.

1:31:12 Guest But there you go, you had to jump in on me. We have to go to break. We have to get to this.

1:31:15 Drew In about one minute, Laura, so...

1:31:16 Guest Well, I was wondering like...

1:31:17 Guest like, uh...

1:31:19 Guest what type...

1:31:20 Guest uh...

1:31:21 Guest what's more?

1:31:24 Guest Hello?

1:31:24 Adam For Christ's sake. I had the Asians, I had the Mexicans I hadn't gotten to yet.

1:31:28 Drew That's about it, Laura. Anything else?

1:31:30 Guest No.

1:31:30 Adam The Hungarians. I hadn't even touched on the Hungarians. With their goulash.

1:31:36 Drew What?

1:31:36 Adam What do you want?

1:31:38 Guest My friend asked me to call you because I've been raped three times by three different guys. And I'm married right now and he asked me to forget it.

1:31:46 Drew You're married?

1:31:46 Adam He asked you what?

1:31:48 Guest To forget being raped.

1:31:49 Adam Oh, he asked you to forget about it?

1:31:51 Drew Who asked you to forget about it?

1:31:52 Adam Your current husband.

1:31:53 Guest Yes.

1:31:54 Adam Have you ever got any therapy for this? It worked. Are you in therapy now?

1:32:03 Guest No. I was at home with my parents in therapy and I moved away and I got married. His friend came over and did this to me and both of them asked me to just forget it.

1:32:15 Adam His friend raped you? Yes. This guy is an idiot. He is dangerous. You are only with him because you were created. You are acting out. Do you have any kids with him?

1:32:27 Guest No. Good.

1:32:29 Adam Please. I will give you a hundred dollars every year you don't have a kid with this guy. How about getting out of this relationship? The guy is an idiot. It is doomed.

1:32:38 Drew The husband.

1:32:39 Adam Yes. Because you are attracted to him. Can you get out of this?

1:32:44 Drew And report the rape?

1:32:45 Adam How about getting some more therapy, reporting the rape and taking care of yourself?

1:32:50 Guest That isn't... See, I don't care about that.

1:32:55 Adam He what?

1:32:57 Guest He loves me and I love him.

1:32:59 Guest Well, that's all.

1:33:01 Adam All right. Please. Okay. I'm done. Don't have any kids. Please don't have any kids.

1:33:05 Drew Do not have kids.

1:33:06 Adam I agree.

1:33:06 Drew That's the best thing. The best outcome we can possibly imagine for that call. No kids.

1:33:11 Adam We'll be right back.

1:33:13 Guest This is your radio.

1:33:31 Adam Well, there you have it, another fabulous Loveline show in the ground.

1:33:35 Drew Immersively.

1:33:36 Adam I want to thank all the folks that came out and supported us and surprisingly hung with us through the entire two-hour show.

1:33:43 Drew Yeah, I can understand that.

1:33:44 Adam Yes. Thank you. These are my people.

1:33:46 Drew That must be you at Grand Theft Auto Boxing instructing.

1:33:49 Adam Yeah. I was just screwing it. Guy in the front row farted, he's trying to blow it through here.

1:33:53 Caller This is great.

1:33:54 Adam All right. I want to thank everyone over here at the Television and Radio Museum for facilitating this tonight, making it happen, and doing all the hard work. And again, the good people who came out and supported us this evening. And so until next time, and producer and Anderson back in the home base at Westwood One, and Ann for doing all the work, and Sarah for doing a great job on the phones tonight. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:22 Guest Well, I was wondering like, like, what, what, what's more?

1:34:31 Guest This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is the presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, November 1, 2000