Episode 1000754887056

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. LoveLine, coast to coast.

1:14 Yep, it is the LoveLine.

1:15 Adam I'm Adam Corolla. That is not Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is here so infrequently now that when he does show up, I always say he is filling in for himself. Dr. Drew is God knows where. Somebody dropped the roll of nickels in Kentucky and he is chasing it down feverishly. But Dr. Bakaly is here. Dr. Bakaly is a psychologist. Still has the license, right?

1:39 Guest I still do.

1:39 Adam It is under review but for the time being, he still has his license to practice psychology. Not psychiatry but psychology.

1:50 Guest Do you know the difference?

1:51 Adam Yes. Psychiatrists get paid more because they go to school more and they get their hands on the candy closet, right? They can describe the drives.

2:02 Guest They describe medication.

2:03 Adam Is that the only difference?

2:04 Guest That is the main difference. They work from a medical model and we work from a family dynamics model.

2:10 Adam Fantastic. All right. So, they are the ones who, I mean, they get paid a little more, right? Yes.

2:17 Guest Traditionally.

2:18 Adam All right. Now I'm done with Bakaly. Simon Rex is our guest tonight.

2:22 Drew Thanks for having me.

2:23 Adam He is from Jack and Jill, of course, on the www, www, www, www, www, the WB. Wednesday night, 9 o'clock. Simon plays Mikey Russo into the second successful season. And this is a big show for WB, is it not?

2:43 Drew It's one of the older shows they have. A lot of the shows tend to be high school or college, and this one is like mid-twenties. You know, a little older, but it's opposite Temptation Island.

2:53 Adam Oh, you guys are screwed. Yeah, don't watch that. No, no, you watch it and you tape Temptation Island, because that's what you call an evergreen. Where Jack and Jill is a day and date type show. You need to know what's going on right now.

3:10 Drew I fight with my girlfriend because she wants to watch the show, but I want to watch Temptation Island and it's not good.

3:15 Adam Yeah, I'll tell you that Temptation Island is a... And we're not going to dedicate... We're only going to dedicate the first 20 minutes of the show to Temptation Island. There is a little bit of heroin sprinkled into that show. It's bad. Yeah. But that's it. Wednesday night, you guys all watch Jack and Jill, Screw Temptation Island.

3:33 Drew Yeah. Our show is a little better morally, I think, than Temptation Island. It's a cute show. It's for girls. It's a cute show for girls. They tend to like it. It's kind of like a relationship-y show. It's an hour-long romantic comedy.

3:45 Adam Let's not alienate our audience. For girls and gay guys, let's keep it that way. Alright, so Jack and Jill and Dr. Bakaly is here tonight. So tonight, the questions should skew a little more toward the psychological, not so much the physical problems.

4:04 You got it.

4:06 Adam Chris? Chris?

4:09 Yes, sir.

4:10 Adam You're 23. What's up?

4:11 You're on LoveLine. Well, my best friend is pregnant and her, the guy, the father is a real dick. And I hang out with her a lot and she just complains to me constantly about him. She's got a scar on my shoulder like every night about him. And she's wanting to fix him. I can't do it. And ever since this happened, I've just started to kind of fall in love with her. Yeah. And I'm not really sure what I mean. I know if it comes to it, I know I want to be there for her.

4:41 Adam What's their relationship? Are they boyfriend and girlfriend? Are they married?

4:44 Yeah. They're boyfriend and girlfriend. Yeah. And, you know, I'm just kind of stuck in this rut now. I'm not sure what to do. I don't know if I need to back off, if I need to come out and tell her how I feel.

4:56 Adam Yeah. Usually when we hear this problem, it's more that you're having difficulty finding people. Not that you're so much in love with this one person, but that there's such an absence of other people in your life, in your dating life, that you've focused all your energy on this one person. Is a little bit of that going on?

5:17 Well, yeah, about a year and a half ago, my fiance left me.

5:20 Adam Why did she leave you?

5:22 She graduated and went on with her life and I wasn't ready to move on.

5:27 Adam Once she got out of junior high, that was it?

5:29 No, no, yeah.

5:31 Adam I see. So it's like you're wounded.

5:34 Guest I guess.

5:36 Adam And you're sort of looking for a life raft.

5:39 Drew You sound wounded.

5:40 Adam Yeah.

5:41 Well, I've always, you know, she's been my friend forever, you know, and I've always in the back of my mind, you know.

5:49 Adam Yeah, but were you in there before when your friends were there? What brought you two together?

5:54 We just, we just know each other. We have like, there's so much in common. It's insane.

5:58 Adam Have you always been, well, you both think her boyfriend's in a hole. So you got that going for you.

6:04 Yeah. Right. He drinks, he's just constantly smoking out, he's dropping acid all the time. She says, she jumps all over him for it. He can't stop, he can't do this, especially when this baby gets around. Constantly doing it.

6:16 Adam Right. But you, you do, do you guys agree with me? I mean, Dr. Bakaly, that sounds like it's more like he doesn't have other opportunities. That's why he's falling in love with her?

6:26 Guest Well, I'm not so sure that he doesn't have other opportunities. I think you've got, you're pretty close to this woman, right?

6:32 Yes.

6:33 Guest And you have been for a long time, and it makes some sense to me that you're pretty connected to her and get pretty upset at him. You've got kind of a dilemma though, because I don't know how much do you talk with her about her relationship with him?

6:50 Quite a bit, especially now, especially since the hole, since she is with child, so...

6:59 Adam I bet, listen, hey, Chris, here's the bottom line. First off, something's wrong with her. She wouldn't be with this A-hole if there wasn't something up with her. You understand? I know it's easy to pin it all on him, but there's a reason why she has his baby in her and why she's stuck with this guy over the months or over the years.

7:20 Drew It's because he gets good acid.

7:22 Adam Right. He knows how to score. He knows a dude at the park. Chris, you've got to look at that in her. And you should look at the fact that you two have known each other for quite a number of years and nothing's ever happened. You know what I mean? I mean, whose fault is that? What's going on? How come you never made a move?

7:43 I don't know. I'm wishing I would have until now, but... Right.

7:48 Adam All right. But, Ken, what do you do for a living?

7:50 What do I do for a living? I am a student and work at a local home improvement warehouse.

7:55 Adam Oh, man. Oh, I hate you guys. You never know anything. Dad? Listen, you need to find... You're like two good dates with someone you like away from getting yourself out of this mess because you're going to get yourself in a mess. This guy's liable to take a shot at you. You're going to be raising this kid. It's not going to be your own. She's got trouble. That's why she's with this abusive, addicted guy. I mean, you really got to look at what you're getting yourself into. Can't you just go out and ask somebody from like the plumbing department to date you or something? I mean, can't you move around? You know what I'm saying?

8:34 Yeah, I know what you're saying.

8:36 Adam You're not dating. You got jilted a year and a half ago. Your fiancé dumped you and now you're putting all your eggs in her basket and her basket is full.

8:45 Guest Yeah, but you can still be her friend, be supportive, but get out there and start dating.

8:50 Drew Yeah, there's a note saying it goes, un-wan-hine, a-wan-a-hande. It means do not fool around with a pregnant woman.

8:58 Adam No, it doesn't. Graham, Swahili.

9:02 What's up, Adam?

9:03 Adam You're 13. How's it going?

9:04 Caller Hey, I think you rule, Adam.

9:07 Adam Why, thanks.

9:08 Caller I think you're awesome.

9:09 Adam You know, I'd appreciate if you could write my name on your shoe.

9:11 Caller I did.

9:12 Adam Did you do that?

9:14 Caller Yeah, I did.

9:15 Adam I consider that the highest praise.

9:17 Caller I wrote you on my right shoe and I wrote Jimmy Kimmel's name on my left shoe.

9:21 Adam Okay.

9:23 Caller Yeah.

9:23 Adam And who's on your notebook? You are. Okay.

9:26 Caller I got a big picture of you from some magazine.

9:29 Adam Thank you.

9:29 Caller I don't know what it is. There you go. All right. My question is, my teacher, I believe she's a lesbian.

9:37 Adam Yeah.

9:39 Caller Well, I think she's a lesbian because well, three things. One is she doesn't have a boyfriend. She's about 30. She's not married. The other one is that she has a whole bunch of women posted on her cabinet. That's not a good sign. And the other one is that her screen saver on her computer, it plays Indigo Girls and Melissa Etheridge.

10:03 Adam Yeah. Well, there you go.

10:04 Caller Yeah.

10:05 Adam So, what do you think?

10:06 Caller Do you think that's a Lesbo?

10:07 Adam Yeah, it's Lesbo. Now, your next move is you got to get a posse together.

10:11 Guest Oh, okay.

10:12 Adam You got to get torches and pitchforks.

10:15 Caller Is she hot?

10:16 Adam You got to get together and run her out of town.

10:18 Caller Well, I thought she was hot at the beginning, you know. But no. After you find out they're lesbians, they're not.

10:23 Guest How old are you?

10:25 Adam Thirteen. Can't you just eat junk food and whack off? You really have to do an undercover investigation on the sexual proclivity of your teachers?

10:36 Caller Well, only one of them. And the junk food part is wrong, but I do jack off. Okay.

10:43 Adam All right, man. Thanks for being so forthright. This is a guy who's thirteen. And you know, where's he from? He's from Georgia. You know, you hear about guys from Georgia getting married at fifteen and sixteen and you think, jeez, it's so young. But this guy, thirteen, sounded like he was at least thirty. Like he could tell you about Vietnam, COVID-19 for a few years.

11:04 Drew He cracked the case.

11:07 Adam Yeah. There may be some gay teachers out there, too. We should put Graham on. All right.

11:13 Guest David?

11:14 Guest Yes. Hi, Adam.

11:15 Adam Yes, you're twenty-nine.

11:16 Guest You're the true liberated male.

11:17 Adam Thank you.

11:19 Guest What did I say? At a moral compass question, I came into a friend of three years. And he's been... We talk about everything. I mean, if it's a fetish, we'll talk about it. And then we go over the whole background of it.

11:35 Adam He's your male friend? Yeah.

11:38 Guest And he's been buying the underwear of his ex-girlfriend's five-year-old girl at fifteen bucks a pop. So he can sniff them and jack off to them.

11:53 Adam Right, right. The good news is he gets three for forty. So, I mean, you know, he is buying in bulk and saving. Yeah, I don't believe you, David. This is nonsense.

12:06 Guest No, he is. I said, well, he's not a pedophile, are you? And he said, no, I'm not a pedophile. But as he thinks back, he says that he remembers in daycare when the daycare provider would stretch back the panties of the young girls and check to see if they had wiped or if they had gone in their panties.

12:28 Adam Sure. Standard practice.

12:31 Guest And he said, he remembers that.

12:32 Adam All right. Hey, David? Yeah. You sure there's not a lesbian teacher you don't want to out somewhere in Georgia or you got to work on this guy?

12:41 Guest I'm not narrow minded against homosexuals.

12:43 Adam I see. Now, this friend of yours, this is his ex-girlfriend.

12:48 Guest That's correct. She's a speed freak, so she can use every bit of money.

12:52 Adam And it's her daughter.

12:55 Guest Right.

12:56 Adam And but it's not his daughter. No. This is his ex-girlfriend's daughter.

13:01 Guest Her mom has custody of the child because she had drug problems for quite a while.

13:06 Adam I see. So, the girl isn't even with her. She's with her mom.

13:12 Guest That's her grandma.

13:13 Adam Right. Her grandmother. And the girl's grandmother. The little girl's grandmother. And this girl then gets the soiled panties of the four-year-old. Five-year-old. Five-year-old. Oh, well, that's different. That's okay. Five? I thought he said four. No, five's fine. Five's good. Just crossed the border there.

13:30 Guest So where should I tell them his moral compass rests?

13:33 Adam Well, it's probably in Satan's ass as far as compasses.

13:37 Guest Yeah, is there terminal prosecution in there somewhere if, by some chance, the mother got sober and decided to tell and what's wrong with her? That's what I'm trying to hear.

13:46 Adam Well, there's the whole litany of problems here. One is you're hanging around with a guy who purchases used five-year-old underpants. And then, number two, I don't believe you at all. Yes. And number three, I'll see you in hell. Okay. All right? All right, David, you idiot. I usually use Drew as my sort of screwball meter over here, but we're a little shorthanded tonight. That was amusing. I'm fine. Listen, you want to call the show with bogus calls, that's fine. I've got to kill two hours. I'd rather do it with an amusing bogus call than an unamusing real call.

14:26 Drew How do you know when they're lying? Because it sounds like he was just about to laugh the whole time. Is that how it is?

14:29 Adam That's part of it. The part is like there's no attachment to the real question.

14:33 Drew Right.

14:34 Adam But he had a few of his facts in order. He's all right with that.

14:38 Drew He did his homework.

14:39 Adam Dominique?

14:41 Dominique, it's Monique.

14:42 Adam Oh, I'm sorry.

14:43 That's okay, hon.

14:44 Drew Computers.

14:45 Adam What's up there? You're 28.

14:46 Caller Yeah, I'm bipolar. And a lot of times they say people who are bipolar can't hold on to relationships for very long because of the way, I don't know, people kind of think that we're crazy or whatever.

15:03 Adam Right.

15:03 Caller But I mean, for one thing, I'm the type of woman that won't put up with stuff.

15:08 Adam Hold on. Let me write that down. You're the kind of woman that doesn't put up with stuff?

15:13 Caller Oh, well, yes. You know, the men, the when they can get to you and start treating you wrong, I won't, I'm like gone. I'm not going to put up with it.

15:22 Adam Good, good. That's wonderful.

15:24 Caller Yeah.

15:24 Adam Number two?

15:26 Caller When I tend to tell them that I have this being bipolar, they're like, oh, you know, she's crazy or something.

15:34 Adam Right.

15:34 Caller You know, and I mean, I haven't had a serious relationship in like ten years.

15:39 Adam Yeah. Well, do you have to tell them you're bipolar so soon and to the relationship?

15:43 Caller You know, after a while, I'll kind of, I'll be in a relationship for like maybe, oh, maybe before I even say anything, I'll say after maybe, oh, three months or four months, you know, they kind of, because we get the mood swings and the...

15:58 Adam Yeah, are you on medication?

16:00 Caller Pardon me?

16:00 Guest Are you under treatment for it?

16:02 Caller Yes, ma'am.

16:02 Guest And you're on medication?

16:04 Caller Yes.

16:04 Guest And how stable have you been?

16:06 Caller Oh, I've been stable, well, the last time I was hospitalized was back in 92.

16:11 Guest It was a good year. That's a long time.

16:12 Adam Yeah. Well, a big year for bi-polars. Most women are bi-polar, aren't they? I mean, there's something emotionally wrong with almost every woman. At least you can put a title on this one so you know where to approach it from. That doesn't sound like such a bad thing. Plus, I'd like to be with someone who's bi-polar just so I could say, like, well, because it'd be like, what movie do you want to see? I'm going to see some crampy relationship. No, no, no, no. See, that's just the bi-polar talking. You said for vacations, I'd use it for dinner, reservations, I'd use it for everything.

16:46 Caller It just seems as though every time I get into a relationship, I just tend to, like I said, I won't put up with any of it. I'm just gone.

16:58 Adam All right. Well, listen. Who are you hooking up with?

17:02 Caller Age-wise?

17:03 Adam Well, what kind of guys? They don't sound like great guys.

17:06 Caller Well, actually, sometimes they may be a few years younger, or I'm actually I've been trying to date older men now.

17:13 Adam What are you doing now? Are you working?

17:15 Caller I'm going back to school.

17:16 Adam No. That's a disaster.

17:18 Caller What?

17:19 Adam Where? Junior college?

17:21 Caller I'm going to start out.

17:22 Drew No.

17:22 Adam You'll start out. You'll end there, too.

17:24 Caller Pardon me?

17:25 Adam Everyone starts out at junior colleges and then 18 years later guess where they are?

17:30 Drew Yeah. Bad move, Monique.

17:31 Adam Junior college.

17:33 Caller I know. They say that they end up staying there for a long time.

17:36 Adam You'll be the smartest one in your class. That's the good news. But the bad news is you'll never go anywhere. Forget about that college. What are you doing for a living now?

17:43 Caller Right now I'm managing a music store.

17:46 Adam Fine. Now, really?

17:50 Caller Yeah.

17:50 Adam Now, what's the big sellers these days?

17:53 Caller The big sellers are a lot of rap and mainly rap.

18:00 Adam I see. All right.

18:02 Drew It's hard times, Monique.

18:04 Adam So listen, you're doing your work, you're taking your medication, you're seeing your therapist.

18:11 Caller Yeah.

18:11 Drew You're doing good. You're doing good.

18:13 Adam All right. Don't listen.

18:15 Caller It's just hard just trying to have a relationship with men.

18:17 Adam I know. But you got to watch the ones you pick, right?

18:20 Guest Absolutely.

18:21 Caller And I would think that if I do pick a male, I just won't put up with it if they start acting and they're gone.

18:27 Adam We got that.

18:28 Guest That makes sense. Yeah.

18:29 Drew You seem to be really assertive about not taking anything from any guys. What exactly do they give you that's so bad that you get rid of them?

18:37 Caller Well, if they start to disrespect me in a way I don't like because I'm totally in the respect. I respect myself and if they even seem to... I mean I used to have one night stands and kind of do the...

18:57 Adam All right. Hey, Monique? I don't say anything.

19:00 Caller I learned my lesson as far as that's concerned. I know not to be that...

19:03 Adam Quiet down there. She's like the she-unabomber and this is some sort of manifesto. Listen, I don't respect people that don't like being respected. That's first off. But number two, just find a guy who's not going to give you crap and then you won't have to dump him. You know what I mean? Don't be so defensive. All right. And forget about that junior college.

19:27 Caller Really? You don't think I should go back to school?

19:29 Adam Waste of time.

19:30 Caller Do you think I should try a university?

19:32 Adam No. I don't agree with people trying to better themselves.

19:36 Guest I really don't.

19:37 Adam I frown on that. You know, the same way I feel about reading it. It poisons the mind. Matt?

19:43 Guest Yeah.

19:44 Adam You're 18. Hi.

19:45 Caller How are you doing? Good. Yeah. I guess about a year ago, I just found out today that my girlfriend was a little over a year ago. She was at a party and she was high and drunk and whatever. She was taken advantage of by an older guy. She was basically raped. She said it's not a big deal. It's affecting our relationship already. It affects her sexually.

20:13 Adam This is your girlfriend of how long?

20:17 Caller We've only been going out a couple of months.

20:19 Adam I see.

20:20 Guest How old is she? She's 16.

20:22 Adam 16. And this happened to her how many months ago?

20:26 Caller She said about a year and a half ago.

20:28 Adam So she was 14 and changed?

20:31 Caller Yeah.

20:32 Adam I see. Why did she tell you about this?

20:34 Caller She didn't tell me. I guessed it because I could tell something was wrong with her. Basically, we were doing our thing and she didn't seem like she was getting into it. I asked her, I was like, what's wrong? She wouldn't tell me. I basically said, have you ever been sexually abused or raped before? She just had that look on her face and I could tell. I got it out of her.

21:07 Adam Here's the question though. This was an incident that happened when she was 14 and whatever, but what was she doing loaded at a party at 14? What kind of family does she come from? It may not just be this incident. Something may have happened before this or may be connected to the kind of environment that she grew up in. Where's her dad?

21:28 Caller He's at home.

21:30 Caller She lives with both her parents or dad, an engineer and her mom's a-ha.

21:37 Adam Yeah, I knew it. What kind of engineer?

21:41 Caller Mechanical.

21:43 Adam Yeah, I don't trust those mechanical engineers as far as I can throw them.

21:46 Drew It's a recipe for disaster.

21:47 Adam It really is. What's her mom?

21:50 Caller She's a dental hygienist.

21:52 Guest Oh, my God.

21:54 Adam It's really, it's nitroglycerin and sulfur being combined, really, the dental hygienist and the mechanical engineer job. It really is.

22:06 Guest Matt, has she gotten some treatment? Has she talked to anybody about it besides you?

22:09 Caller I'm the only other person that knows.

22:11 Guest Yeah, that may be really helpful for you to try to encourage her to do that.

22:16 Guest To tell other people?

22:17 Guest Well, to talk to her, to see if there's a need for her to talk with someone else.

22:19 Guest Yes. Do you have a bullhorn? Yeah.

22:22 Guest To talk with a therapist about it.

22:24 Caller Yeah.

22:24 Guest And to try to work through. There also are rape crisis centers throughout most of the country. And she can go talk to someone totally anonymously.

22:32 Caller Okay.

22:32 Guest And that would be really helpful, especially when it happens at such a young age.

22:35 Adam Hey, but Matt, don't make it the hub that your relationship revolves around. Do you know what I'm saying? I know it's something you're unhappy about, you're freaked out, you got a lot of testosterone coursing through your veins, and you got a lot of energy about it, and she's kind of freaked out about it, but maybe she doesn't want to deal with it as much as you want to deal with it.

22:56 Caller Right.

22:57 Adam Don't make it enter every conversation and every intimate embrace. Do you know what I mean? I mean, try to help her out, but you got to go at her speed.

23:05 Caller Right.

23:06 Caller Right.

23:06 Adam All right there, man. Hey, and Matt.

23:08 Caller What?

23:08 Adam This is my new advice to all screwball 18 year old guys who call this show.

23:12 Caller What?

23:13 Adam You're not marrying her. Yeah. Don't freak out.

23:16 Caller All right.

23:16 Adam You know what I'm saying? This relationship is going to be over in six months. Outside. Over under is three and a half months. Do you hear me?

23:25 Caller Yep.

23:25 Adam Enjoy yourself. All right. Don't spend the entire relationship trying to sort out her past and the events of her life. Go play video game.

23:32 Caller Yeah.

23:33 Adam Play video game. Smoke some weed. Eat some Funyuns. And have some sex and enjoy. And you guys will be broken up in four months anyway.

23:42 Caller All right.

23:42 Adam All right, buddy. That's right. Live like someone's going to kill you tomorrow.

23:46 Caller Okay.

23:47 Guest All right.

23:47 Adam There you go. That's my motto. Yes. That's right.

23:52 Guest All right.

23:53 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Crystal. She's got a question. She wants to know. Oh, no, no.

23:59 Caller I don't want to talk to her.

24:01 Adam She's cutting on herself. I'm this close to cutting on myself because of the show. My therapist is going to want to know why I'm cutting on myself. I talk to too many other people that cut. Monkey say, monkey do. It's a peer pressure thing. When you talk to 20 people a night that cut, you think it's a good idea.

24:16 Guest You're going to go home and do it.

24:17 Adam Now who are we going to talk to, Bakaly? She just got married without parents knowing. Yeah, that sounds good. Yeah. There you go. Hi, I'm going to speak to Deidre. Simon Rex is here from Jack and Jill. Wednesday nights, 9 o'clock, www.bb. Bakaly is filling in for Dr. Drew, and we'll be back with Deidre after this.

24:37 You know what I'm saying out there?

24:39 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on LoveLine.

24:59 Guest Do rock first, do rock 104. David Loveline.

25:10 Adam I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Bakley. Dr. Bakley is filling in for Dr. Drew, and as Dr. Bakley was reminding me during a commercial that he's known Drew since the fifth grade when they both entered the little Lord Fauntleroy School for albino hemophiliacs that Drew graduated from in, what was that, 1957? Nineteen-seventy-six, and then you knew him all those years.

25:39 Guest Absolutely.

25:40 Adam And then you went your separate ways. He went off to...

25:46 Guest He went to Amherst and then got into acting and then...

25:49 Guest Oh, he got into acting, didn't he?

25:51 Adam Geez, he's horrible. I'd like to sue that Amherst for his horrible acting.

25:55 Guest He's a good singer, absolutely.

25:58 Adam He sings well, but he couldn't act his way out of a paper bag.

26:02 Guest He was a star of the high school plays, actually.

26:05 I really find that hard to believe.

26:08 Guest He was...

26:09 Adam What is that? Tevye, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what you want.

26:13 Guest Crazy times.

26:14 Adam Big, blonde, Aryan-looking guy playing Tevye. That works great. Yeah, goose-stepping around the stage. Perfect. Simon Rex is our guest tonight. He is from Jack and Jill, Wednesday Nights, 9 o'clock on the WB. Mike Russo is the part that Simon plays on the show.

26:32 Drew Please don't watch Cementation Island, anybody.

26:34 Adam No. What a pain. You know what I hate most about those ideas? I don't mind whether it be a movie or a TV show making a ton of money as long as they spent a ton of money on it. I don't mind when a movie makes $150 million as long as they spent $85 million on it. But once in a while, I hear about that Blair Witch or a Temptation Island which probably cost $0.50. They shut the whole thing in 11 days. Yeah. And oh my God, are they making some money off of that show? That drives me nuts because that's an idea that we could have had. Do you understand? That's very true. But Dr. Bakaly, you'll appreciate this because I think the real show in Temptation Island is now that they wrapped filming, you know, the way this town works, they finished nine months ago. This thing was all wrapped up. Now all these Temptresses that were on the island, all these models, all these actresses who were single are back in LA. Most of them probably have boyfriends and they have to sit there every Wednesday night and watch their girlfriend go to the Tiki hut with the strange man and go through the oil massage and bizarre ritualistic motions with him.

27:45 Drew And then flip back to Jack and Jill.

27:47 Adam And then flip back to Jack and Jill. But these guys must be freaked out. Can you imagine that? It's like you've been dating a prostitute. Deidre?

27:57 Caller Hi.

27:57 Adam You're 18?

27:58 Caller Yep.

27:59 Adam You just got married?

28:00 Yeah.

28:00 Adam And you didn't tell your parents?

28:04 It's a really bad situation between my parents and I. I was like a foster kid for a couple of years.

28:09 Caller But Maya, I just got married and he had to go into the military.

28:14 That's not why we got married, but as to be a dependent we had to do that so I could get some of the money to pay off the bills and stuff, which is why he went in.

28:22 Adam Right. So it is kind of why he got married.

28:25 Caller Kind of.

28:26 Adam Yeah. All right.

28:27 Besides the fact that we were going to anyway.

28:29 Caller Sure. I'm going, I have to go home to my parents this Friday actually.

28:35 Adam Good.

28:35 Guest Why?

28:37 Caller I can't afford the apartment on my own.

28:39 Adam Oh, I see. So you have to move back in with your parents?

28:41 Caller Yeah.

28:42 Drew Where are you calling from?

28:43 Caller Oregon.

28:44 Drew Just paint in the picture, babe. Just paint in the picture.

28:46 Adam All right. And what is it? Your parents were unfit at some part of your life? You had to go to foster care?

28:53 Caller Basically, yeah.

28:54 Adam And you hate your parents?

28:56 Caller Not really, but I...

28:57 Adam You loathe them? You're still burning, receiving hate for them?

29:01 Caller No, I'm just confused.

29:02 Adam You don't like them? And what were they, drug addicts?

29:05 Caller Yeah, drug addicts, alcoholics.

29:08 Adam Right, so what are you worried about?

29:11 Caller Well...

29:11 Adam You don't owe them anything.

29:13 Caller No, it's just...

29:15 Adam Don't tell them you got married.

29:16 This is true. It's just a...

29:18 Caller well, they're probably going to notice the ring on my finger.

29:20 Adam Yeah.

29:21 Guest Why not tell them? What's the fear about it?

29:24 Caller They filed for divorce the day I got married, so they're getting divorced now. They're probably really tense about this.

29:32 They knew that we were going to get married someday, and they were really against it.

29:35 Adam Why?

29:39 Caller They don't think that I'm able to live on my own, basically.

29:43 Adam Well, even some day?

29:45 Caller Yeah.

29:46 Adam I mean, did they have a problem with your husband?

29:49 Caller They kind of do, yeah, because I'm with him and not them.

29:55 Adam Really? Do they really miss you that much? I mean, they gave you up. They were drug addicts. They gave you up to foster care for a few years.

30:02 I really don't know. They're confusing as all hell.

30:05 Drew Did you see Meet the Parents?

30:07 Caller Yes, I did, and it was a horrible movie.

30:09 Adam You brought back all sorts of memories, huh? Listen, Deidre, here's what I think, but Bakaly, you weigh in too. You're angry as hell at your parents. You probably should be. Why not? My dad missed a couple of Pop Warner football games. I'm not done punishing him. It's been 28 years. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Now, you don't really want to admit that, but you sure as hell are going to tell him you got married when you come back into the house. You don't have to. You could take that ring off, put it in your pocket, ride it out for a few months, and you wouldn't have to do it, but you're going to tell him. You're going to tell him. And you're going to tell him because you're going to get a big reaction out of him because that's what you're looking for.

30:49 Caller You think so?

30:50 Adam I know so.

30:51 Guest Well, and you've got a lot more to deal with with your parents than the fact that you're married.

30:55 Caller I also don't know how to handle the reaction, though.

30:57 Caller I mean, because it might put me out of the house.

31:00 Adam Why would you risk telling him? Why not just ride it out? You're only going to be there for a couple months, right?

31:05 Caller Well, yeah, but they could find out.

31:06 Adam How could they?

31:07 Caller His family.

31:09 Adam Do they contact your parents?

31:11 Caller Sometimes my mother contacts them when she's drinking a lot.

31:14 Drew Did you see Meet the Parents?

31:15 Caller Yeah.

31:16 Adam Why don't you call them? Why don't you call your husband and tell him to talk to his mom? Tell mom the word.

31:24 Guest Do you have any other options of where you can go?

31:27 Caller No.

31:28 Adam Why don't you get a job?

31:30 Caller I do have a job, but it won't pay for the house and the bills.

31:34 Adam Well what are you doing? You don't have any kids, right?

31:36 Caller No.

31:37 Adam You don't have much overhead?

31:38 Guest For God's sakes, you're 18.

31:39 Adam Yeah, just get a semi-decent job and get a roommate if you have to.

31:44 Drew Listen, I was 18 for about a year. And I'm going to tell you something. 19 is no walk through the park either, Cynthia.

31:49 Adam No, Simon was 18 when he saw Meet the Parents coincidentally. Hey, Deidre, there's more going on here than Meets the Year. If you really don't like your parents, you really fear the way they're going to react. You really can't stand being under their thumb. Your mom's still an alcoholic. Don't move back in with them. Work a few more hours, get a roommate and stay out on your own.

32:16 Caller Okay.

32:17 Adam You're 18 now, all right?

32:18 Caller Yeah.

32:19 Adam All right.

32:19 Go see Meet the Parents.

32:20 Adam She's going to pay them back. I think it's out on DVD soon, by the way.

32:24 Caller All right.

32:25 Adam Let's talk to Mike, who's 32. Mike?

32:28 Hello?

32:30 Adam You're 32. What's up?

32:32 Caller Well, I've got a psychology question, basically. I'm wondering, I'm actually divorced now, but when I was married, it was really exciting for me to think about my wife sleeping with somebody else. It seems to be a really common thing. Like, all of like, penthouse letters is devoted to that now pretty much. I'm just wondering why. What's going on with that? Why?

32:54 Adam That was titillating for you?

32:56 Caller Yeah, and for so many people, it seems to be such a common thing.

32:58 Adam Well, the same guy writes all the letters, so that's why there's a popular theme.

33:03 Guest Yeah.

33:04 Guest What was your relationship like with your wife?

33:06 Caller Well, we never really...

33:08 Guest I mean, sexually.

33:10 Caller Oh, sexually? Well, it was pretty sexual. Yeah, we had quite a bit of sex, and it was really...

33:16 Guest Sexual?

33:18 Caller Yeah, right. Yeah, well, I hope so.

33:20 Adam And don't you guys think that it's a common fantasy for a lot of men to... There's a common fantasy? It doesn't probably mean all that much.

33:29 Drew To see their girlfriend with another man...

33:31 Guest I don't know if it's a common fantasy. Oh, yeah.

33:33 Adam Well, me neither. I mean, no, what I'm saying is, is a lot of guys will want to know, like, who their girlfriend's been with in the past. Like, for instance, it'll be like a big bone of contention for them. And they'll think about it. And I don't know that they wish that the person, maybe fantasy is not quite the right word, but sometimes things enter your mind sexually that aren't exactly the way you'd like them to be, but yet they're there anyway. Do you know what I'm saying?

34:04 Drew I have that problem.

34:05 Guest Yeah, we all have that problem.

34:06 Drew It's an ego thing a little.

34:08 Guest It was before.

34:09 Drew It shouldn't matter. It's not like it happened while you were with her.

34:12 Adam Right, right.

34:13 Guest Or was it happening while you were with her?

34:15 Drew Hopefully not.

34:17 Guest Mike? Was it happening when you were with her?

34:20 Caller Well, no. No, it was just like a fantasy thing that we had, basically. And I don't know. From what I understand, it seems like a lot of guys have a fantasy.

34:31 Adam Sure. I mean, if you read Penthouse, you'll find you'll know. Penthouse might as well be the New England Journal of Medicine, really. I mean, you really get most of your psychological facts from that publication. Am I right, Doctor?

34:46 Guest Absolutely.

34:47 Adam I mean, you stopped subscribing to JAMA and just started reading Penthouse exclusively.

34:51 Caller Yeah, boy. Yeah.

34:52 Guest Especially if you have truth in there.

34:54 Adam Yeah. Well, it's a magazine where women pee on each other. So you know everything that's in it is true. Hey, Mike? Yeah. All right. Stop basing your life on Penthouse Forum, all right?

35:05 Caller I'll try.

35:06 Adam Okay. You got a little... You have some issues with women, maybe?

35:10 Caller Well, yeah. I have, I think, some probably sexual momentum too from some stuff in my past. All right.

35:17 Adam So why don't you... You're divorced now, right?

35:20 Guest And work through your divorce as well.

35:21 Adam Yeah. Why don't you get a little therapy? Yeah, I am. And talk about it to your therapist and work it out. Stop bothering us. All right. Thank you very much. That's really my overall message tonight.

35:33 Guest Stop bothering us.

35:35 Adam Well, I actually mean me. If I really want to define it, it's me.

35:38 Guest Get a little therapy is what I thought was your message.

35:40 Adam Get a little therapy. Stop bothering me. All right. Rachel.

35:47 Hi.

35:48 Adam Yes, you're 15, yes.

35:49 Caller Just a sec. There's a train.

35:51 Adam Where?

35:51 Drew Yeah, you're calling from London?

35:53 Adam Yeah.

35:53 Caller Yes, yes, I am. Oh, I'm sorry.

35:57 Drew Like in a bad movie.

35:58 Adam That is just been on hold for.

36:01 Caller Can you guys understand what I'm saying? Because I'll just start talking.

36:04 Drew Go for it.

36:04 Caller As I say, okay, this summer I did some acid. I had done it previously, but now I still hallucinate on a regular basis.

36:14 Adam Yeah. What do you do? I bet you freak out and you think you hear trains and things like that.

36:19 Caller No, it's really, really hard, especially when I start thinking everybody else is hearing it too.

36:25 Caller Right, the train.

36:26 Caller No, no way. I just like, I'll look at carpet and it rolls, and it pulls me in a little bit, and it's really hard off the end class, and I'll be looking at the teacher, and I just stare, and I can't get out of this gaze.

36:40 Adam Is this just from doing acid once or doing it a few times?

36:43 Caller I did a really large dose of acid, and I had done it previously six times before that.

36:49 Adam I see.

36:50 Drew It could just be once, and I said it could do that. I know a guy went crazy off one time.

36:53 Adam Yeah. Jordan Rubin is the guy's name. I know him, too. She's the total. His mind is right now. He's the total boss. But I'm... He was not the sharpest pencil in the bunch, you know, before.

37:04 Caller But it didn't help.

37:05 Adam But now he's really dull, yeah. Yeah. Sorry, Rachel.

37:07 Caller Go ahead.

37:08 Caller It's okay.

37:09 Caller But my main question is, I know there could be some past psychological reasons why I wanted to do acid, but...

37:17 Adam Why? Why do you think that is?

37:19 Caller But first, I want to know how I can fix it. Like, is there any medication I can take to even it out?

37:25 Adam Well, now, Bakaly, do you deal with this? I know a certain amount from secondhand and from watching Gilligan's Island.

37:32 Guest Yeah, go ahead.

37:33 Adam Well, here's my Gilligan's Island answer. When Gilligan got hit on the head with a coconut and he got amnesia, the only way to cure it is to be hit on the head again with a coconut. So to me, that means another large dose of acid. No. No, no. But that may not work out.

37:51 Caller I don't think that's the answer.

37:52 Adam Okay. All right. All right. Well, here's what could be the answer. And again, this is just regurgitated from sitting next to that dreamboat, Dr. Drew, for all those years. You unfortunately could have done some permanent damage to yourself. Okay. And if that's true, then you're going to need to be on some kind of medication that Dr. Bakley could have prescribed if he'd stayed in school longer. Instead, he disappointed his family. And really, the better part of the country, by dropping out early and just becoming a psychologist. But you may have to consult a psychiatrist because there are medications that you may have to be on in order to sort of stabilize your condition. Hopefully, this is going to go away, but there's really nothing you can do other than don't do more drugs to get it to go away.

38:41 Caller I promise that I'm not.

38:43 Adam Good. Now, then you just have to live with it for a little while, and if it still persists, you have to go see a psychiatrist and you have to see about, or a physician, and see about getting on some drugs that are going to stabilize this.

38:55 Caller All right.

38:56 Adam You understand?

38:57 Caller Yes, I understand. All right.

38:58 Adam And where do you live? Are you calling from your house?

39:01 Guest Yeah.

39:03 Caller I live in Oregon.

39:04 Adam And are you that close to the train tracks, really?

39:07 Caller Oh, yes. I am that close to the train tracks.

39:10 Adam Yes.

39:11 Drew I would take acid, too.

39:12 Adam Yes. I mean, yeah, you need to escape somehow. I would sue my parents if they bought a house that close to the train tracks and flew through it.

39:19 Drew And for now, just buy more Grateful Dead CDs. You'll be okay.

39:22 Caller No, no, no.

39:23 Adam Does that, Rachel, does that train go by every night at 1040?

39:27 Caller Oh, God.

39:28 Caller Every night, 1040, 1045.

39:31 Adam That's like a scene from the Blues Brothers. I really would think about suing my parents if I were you.

39:37 Caller This is a great script.

39:38 Adam All right, Rachel.

39:40 Caller Don't get rid of me yet.

39:41 Adam No, I have to get rid of you.

39:42 Caller Oh, please don't, Adam.

39:44 Adam Okay.

39:45 Drew I was picking him again, Adam.

39:46 Adam No, listen, you try that stuff when you're 18. Maybe it'll work. Okay, Rachel.

39:51 Caller It's psychological.

39:52 Adam Listen to me.

39:53 Caller I'm begging you.

39:55 Adam What do you want me to do with you? Do you want just to chit chat all night?

39:58 Caller No, but I have it quickly. When are you going to let me go on?

40:03 Adam No, no, that's it for you. What is your question? Is it a sexual question?

40:09 Caller No, sorry.

40:09 Adam All right, well, I got to go.

40:10 Drew She's having flashbacks.

40:12 Adam Listen. Yes.

40:13 Caller When I was about seven, my parents gave me too much cold medicine and I started hallucinating and I didn't tell them. I just sat there and kind of enjoyed the show and so I had been talking to my counselor about this, but we hadn't really got to the initial discussion about it yet.

40:31 Adam Enjoyed the show.

40:34 Caller So I wondered like psychologically, have I been living my whole life wanting to hallucinate since then?

40:42 Adam You mean maybe like you fired some sort of motor up in your seven-year-old mind that wanted to be fed hallucinogens?

40:50 Guest I wouldn't think so.

40:50 Adam Again, another something that could be mentioned in the lawsuit against your parents. Now you got living dangerously close to brain tracks.

40:58 Guest You're talking to a counselor, right?

41:00 Caller Yeah.

41:00 Guest And you're talking to the counselor honestly about the acid?

41:03 Caller Yeah, but it's not really helping at all.

41:05 Adam All right, but tell the counselor you may want to get a medical evaluation and see about taking something to stabilize this.

41:12 Drew Read Harry Potter, get a massage.

41:14 Adam All right.

41:15 Caller All right, thank you guys very much.

41:16 Adam Long, long walks on the tracks. Okay, never look up, always look down when you walk. All right. Count those ties. Never go more than five ahead, all right? All right. Take care of yourself. You too.

41:30 Caller All right.

41:31 Adam Simon Rex is our guest tonight. He is from Jack and Jill, WB, Wednesday night, nine o'clock. Dr. Bakaly is here filling in for Dr. Drew. We will take ourselves a break when we come back. We'll talk to Anne. Guys just want to have sex with her. Wondering what's up after this.

41:51 Guest Hello? This is Loveline. Call 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1.

41:55 Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

41:57 Guest Hey, this is Adam Corolla. And this is Dr. Drew. And you're listening to Loveline on New Rock 104. Loveline, Loveline, Loveline. This is Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla on New Rock 104.

42:20 Adam It's Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Bakaly filling in for Dr. Drew, known him since the fifth grade by Krakom. And Rex Simon is our guest tonight. He is from Jack and Jill, WB, Wednesday nights, nine o'clock, and when we left off, we were talking about talking to Annie, who's 18. Annie, is that Annie or Ann?

42:47 Caller It's Ann.

42:48 Adam How you doing there, Ann?

42:49 Guest Good.

42:49 Caller How are you?

42:50 Guest Good.

42:51 Caller Okay. My question is, well, I've been in numerous serious relationships, and every time we get to the point where we're going to have sex, the guy ends up just backing out, and he's like, well, no, I can't do this to you. He's like, you're just too sweet.

43:13 Drew Do you have a penis?

43:15 Caller Do I? No.

43:16 Adam No? Check that off the list.

43:18 Caller Yeah.

43:19 Adam Yeah.

43:19 Caller And I figured you asked me if I was fat or goofy looking, and no, I'm not.

43:23 Adam No, I wasn't going to do that. Are you fat, though?

43:25 Caller No.

43:26 Drew Are you goofy looking?

43:27 Adam Not goofy looking? Or fat looking? And they stop. Yeah, you have weird teeth, because I'm a freaky guy, too.

43:33 Caller No, actually, I have perfect teeth.

43:35 Caller I just had them done.

43:36 Adam I see.

43:37 Drew How about down there? Is it really crazy?

43:39 Caller No, not at all.

43:41 Adam All right, nothing unusual going on in the nether regions?

43:45 Caller No.

43:46 Adam I see. He doesn't see his own reflection down there, anything that can spook a guy?

43:52 Caller No.

43:53 Adam All right. So what do you think this is?

43:56 Caller I have no idea. That's why I was going to call and ask you.

44:00 Guest Why do you want to have sex with these guys?

44:03 Guest I don't know.

44:04 Caller I mean, I just feel like I'm ready every time.

44:09 Guest What does that mean to you?

44:11 Caller What does that mean?

44:12 Guest Yeah.

44:13 Drew A cup of coffee?

44:15 Guest I'm wondering if you're sending some messages that you're not ready.

44:18 Adam Oh, no, no. But listen, a guy doesn't care. I mean, if she's naked, he's on top of her. Forget it. We could talk to people all night who have sex with people who definitely aren't ready.

44:28 Drew You never hear about girls making guys, you know?

44:31 Adam Not as much as you'd like to hear about it. Hey, Anne? Were you naked with these guys?

44:37 Caller Yeah.

44:38 Adam And they're getting ready to go?

44:41 Caller Well, they'd be ready to go. And then we'd be talking, or not really talking, but I mean, we'd just be going and-

44:54 Adam Did you start talking about Jehovah or anything like that?

44:58 Drew At what point do they back out? I'm confused. Is it when the pants go down? Or is it what-

45:02 Caller No, I mean, everything will be fine. I mean, we'd be going at it for a while, and then all the, you know, then it almost seems like they get a conscience or something, because I kind of-

45:14 Drew How old are you?

45:15 Caller I'm 18.

45:16 Drew You've been in a lot of serious relationships already?

45:18 Caller Well, I've been in two really serious relationships, and then, you know-

45:24 Adam How old are the guys?

45:26 Caller They're about my age.

45:27 Adam Okay, this is all the guy, this is a guy thing. You've been hooking up with the wrong guys.

45:31 Caller Have I?

45:32 Adam Yeah, you really- You need to start dating some bikers, some rapists, you know, some guys who are thrown out of the XFL for drug abuse, those kind of guys. Those are the kind of guys who will seal the deal. Or if they don't, one of their friends will when they pass out. And that's really what you're looking for. The kind of guys who got a buddy who will back them up sexually, you know, if something happens to them.

45:55 Drew That's hard to find.

45:56 Adam It really is in this town. Hi Anne, and nothing sounds wrong with you. I think you're fine. I think this is everything to do with the guys. And I suspect you like nice guys.

46:07 Caller No, actually, it's the total opposite. I'll go for guys that are really good looking and...

46:15 Adam Well, good looking guys don't have functioning penises. Someone's got to tell all you ladies that.

46:22 Caller Oh.

46:22 Adam Yeah, it's very true. All those guys you're attracted to on TV, not a penis between them.

46:28 Caller That's so true.

46:28 Adam Not a functioning penis.

46:30 Oh, my God.

46:31 Adam It's just, their penis, I mean, it's like the parts they play. They're not real doctors. They're not really on those, you know, they're not really their characters. The same with their penis. It doesn't really work.

46:41 Drew It's all smoke and mirrors.

46:42 Adam That's right. Hey, Anne? You sound all right. There's no real answer to this. Find a guy you really like. Make him a nice guy. Make him your boyfriend. Have a relationship. And you guys will have tons of sex, all right?

46:54 Caller All right.

46:54 Adam And then hopefully one day your father can walk in on you and have a heart attack.

46:58 Caller Oh, I hope not.

46:59 Guest All right, baby.

47:00 Adam Take care of yourself.

47:01 Caller You too.

47:02 Adam Good times. All right.

47:03 Guest We're going to take a little break.

47:04 Adam Simon Rex is here from the Jack and Jill on the WB, Dr. Barclay, Dr. Bakaly. You should really pick a direction with that name. It's like three names. It's totally noncommittal. You know what I mean? Let's just go to Barclay or Baklava or Bakly or Bacalopolis. Bacalopolis, something. We'll all be back after this.

48:16 Guest Yep, it is LoveLine. Oh, that was funky.

48:19 Drew I like that intro there.

48:20 Adam Yeah, it's nice. Who is that, Anderson? Oh, it's Rage Against the Machine.

48:27 Drew Sounds like my friends, the Dilated Peoples. Good group out of LA.

48:30 Adam Really?

48:30 Caller That was a shameless plug, wasn't it?

48:32 Adam Yeah, go ahead. They got a website? Yeah. Son of a bitch. Simon Rex is our guest tonight. I had the instinct to call Rex Simon for just one moment.

48:43 Drew You did earlier, but I let it go.

48:44 Adam I think I did do that.

48:45 Drew They went right by. I just let it go, man. It happens all the time, because it's two first names, so it's confusing.

48:50 Adam Even Rex is more of a first name than Simon is.

48:54 Drew If you were a shaggy dog.

48:57 Adam Yeah. Simon Rex here from Jack and Jill, Wednesday Nights, WB, and Nine O'Clock.

49:05 Drew It's said to be the greatest television show in history.

49:08 Adam That's what the buzz is. No one's actually seen it, so we can't get a confirmation on that. Yeah, but there is a buzz about the show. From mostly the crew.

49:18 Drew Yeah.

49:18 Adam But there is still a pretty strong buzz about the show. The writers love it. Dr. Bakaly is here tonight. Dr. Bakaly is filling in for Dr. Drew. He's a psychologist. And he has known our beloved Dr. Drew since the fifth grade when Dr. Drew transferred over to the school that they went to then until the twelfth grade, right? And were you guys friends?

49:41 Guest Absolutely.

49:42 Adam From that point on?

49:43 Guest All the way through, we played football together. He was president of the student body, and I was vice president.

49:48 Adam Really?

49:48 Guest I taught him everything he knew.

49:50 Guest Wow.

49:52 Adam I was his Al Gore. I've seen the pictures of Drew, and he just didn't look like a leader back then.

50:00 Guest Oh, he was. Yeah, definitely.

50:02 Drew Compared to the alpha male he is now? Right.

50:04 Adam Yeah, with the glasses and the J.Crew sweatsuit. But he did all the school plays, he did the musicals, he played on the basketball team, played on the football team. Oh my God. What has my cheat must have looked like? Always a pleaser. That's what he's doing. He never could pleaser stand though. Albert, you're 19.

50:29 Caller What's up? Well, what it is, is when I'm with a girl, I imagine that my penis isn't big enough to satisfy her. You know what I mean?

50:42 Adam Yeah. You call from a cell phone? Yeah. All right. So when you're with a girl, you imagine your penis isn't big enough? Yeah.

50:48 Caller I mean, the rubbers fit fine and everything, but it's just that I imagine in my mind that I'm not big enough to satisfy her, like, girth-wise.

50:56 Adam I see. Why do you think that?

51:00 Caller I couldn't tell you. That's what I'm trying to figure out.

51:02 Adam Well, why are you so focused on your penis? I mean, don't you think this is more just an overall problem with self-esteem?

51:10 Caller It might be. I think that's probably what it is.

51:13 Adam Yeah. So why don't you feel good about yourself?

51:17 Caller I mean, I guess I'm a good-looking guy. I get quite a bit of girls who wouldn't mind talking to you, but just that part.

51:25 Drew We mind talking to you on that cell phone. You sound like you have a Star Wars tunnel from hell. I'm sorry about that.

51:30 Caller My work.

51:31 Caller All right.

51:31 Adam I see. Where do you work?

51:33 Caller At a hotel.

51:34 Guest I see.

51:36 Adam And what do you do there?

51:38 Caller Drive a van back and forth.

51:39 Adam I see. You're the shuttle guy? Yeah. What's a good tip for you guys who dropped me off at the airport? $2. That's a little rich for my blood. I was talking about more like change. But all right. So you don't have a girlfriend now though? No. Have you had sex with a woman?

52:00 Caller Yeah. Several times.

52:01 Adam I see. And did it work out okay?

52:05 Caller I mean, not only complying, but it worked fine.

52:07 Drew Adam, you have a phantom penis, right?

52:10 Adam Yeah. I get that, are you in line a lot as I'm finishing? Yeah. Okay. Listen, Albert, it has less to do with your penis and I'm going to put him on hold because of his line there and more to do with his self-esteem. Bakaly, take it away.

52:27 Guest Absolutely. I'm way too focused on the size of his penis and what that all means. He needs to focus more on the relationship.

52:35 Adam Yeah, I don't know why.

52:36 Guest There's a lot more to it.

52:37 Adam He says he's attractive, he gets women, women are attracted to him.

52:41 Guest But it's also, it's a real myth that guys have that you've got to have this huge penis or the width of it has to be big and it's...

52:49 Guest Yeah.

52:50 Adam You just focus on oral sex is what you do. You know what I'm saying? That's what women want. They really do want the oral sex.

52:59 Drew Well, there's this saying, I don't know if you guys have heard this one, it's a very rare saying, it's not the size of the ship but it's the motion of the ocean. I don't, it's something I picked up.

53:08 Adam Right.

53:09 Guest Sounds good.

53:09 Drew Right.

53:10 Guest It makes perfect sense.

53:11 Adam The point is, I've said it all the time, you start the sexual clock when you begin the oral sex. I'm saying this to a lot of these guys that have premature ejaculation, a lot of these guys that don't have a lot of confidence in their penis, they give them the oral sex and finish them off with that undersized penis of yours and everyone will be happy. All right, let's talk to Jennifer who is 24. Jennifer?

53:35 Caller Yeah?

53:35 Adam It's true you like oral sex better than intercourse, right?

53:40 Caller Well, yeah.

53:41 Adam Thank you. All right, we're going to move on. What do you call it about?

53:48 Caller I am like, I'm really attracted to females lately. I mean, I don't know why. I mean, I've always been a heterosexual. I mean, when I was younger, I had feelings toward other women. I mean, other girls, but I kind of pushed it away or whatever. And now, I'm like really attracted to females. Yeah.

54:13 Adam You have one in mind?

54:15 Caller Well, yeah.

54:17 Adam You have a girlfriend of yours?

54:19 Yeah.

54:20 Adam Have you been into her for a while?

54:23 No.

54:24 Adam I see.

54:25 Caller I mean, it's just more of a recent thing. I don't know why.

54:29 Adam Well, maybe you're a lesbian.

54:33 Caller Okay, but if I am, I don't like that.

54:37 Adam Yeah. Well, we do. Yeah. We like watching at least depictions of it in our magazines and movies. Do you ever had experience with a woman?

54:48 Caller Well, when I was a lot younger.

54:51 Adam How old?

54:53 Caller Well, really young.

54:55 Adam How old, goofball?

54:59 Caller Like four. From the time I was like four until I was thirteen.

55:03 Adam Four to thirteen?

55:05 Guest What was that about? With who?

55:08 Caller Well, this friend of ours, well, our family was really close with another family and me and her were like close to the same age and, I mean, we both had like a lot of other, like molestation and stuff.

55:26 Adam I see. All right. So, all better off.

55:28 Caller What does it have to do with that?

55:29 Adam Yes. Sure.

55:31 Caller So, I'm not, I wouldn't be a lesbian?

55:33 Adam Well, maybe not in the eyes of God, but your vagina may be a lesbian, even if your soul is not a lesbian. You understand?

55:41 Caller No.

55:41 Adam No, me neither. I just made that up. It made sense. It's a time. Beautiful. No, here's what I'm saying. Here's what I'm saying. Here's what I mean. How dare you two laugh at my analogies. I will make my point crystal clear right now. There's a certain amount of people that were just born to be lesbians and born to be gay. There really is. Listen, read whatever literature you want. Listen to people arguing out on talk shows. I've been doing this show. I know. I'm telling you. There's a certain percentage of society that was gay from the word go and lesbian from the word go. Then there's another section of society that is gay and lesbian because of the environment, because of what happened to them. You, you were not born to be a lesbian, but because of things that happened in your upbringing, you now have an attraction for women.

56:32 Caller So how do I tame it?

56:34 Adam It may be hard to.

56:35 Guest Embrace it.

56:37 Adam Well, but she's not comfortable with it.

56:38 Guest It also may be good to look at those abusive relationships you were in. Have you been in any counseling or therapy?

56:46 Caller A little bit.

56:46 Guest And the molestation was done by men?

56:51 Adam Who did this to you, the molestation?

56:55 Caller Well, family friends and my dad.

57:01 Adam These are huge issues. So your compass is spinning around like we were doing one of those Devil's Triangle documentaries.

57:12 Drew And mine's saying north.

57:15 Adam Have you seen Meet the Parents? Here's the point. Jennifer, you've been through a lot. You don't know where your bearings are sexually. You don't know what your proclivity is because you've got screwed with so often. And so many times and so often. You understand? So you need to get some therapy. You need to work some things out. Don't pick a sexual direction for yourself just yet. Just work some of these feelings out in the therapist's office and then see how you feel and then you can make a decision. But don't put the pressure on yourself right now.

57:48 Guest All right? Okay.

57:49 Adam I mean, no wonder you're confused. You know, your dad molested you. And this girl did and your dad's buddy. You know what I'm saying? Just get some therapy. Work those issues out. Okay?

58:03 Caller Isn't it going to take like forever?

58:04 Adam No, no, no.

58:05 Caller Not at this early age.

58:06 Adam No, 30 years. 30 years. Maybe. Maybe 25. No, it's going to take a few years. Yeah, it is. Sure. But that's life. That's how it works. You can't expect to get over something like what happened to you in a couple of visits to the Shrink. If you could, Bakaly would be out of business. He forbids that kind of, that kind of speedy help. You understand?

58:27 Drew You're going to be okay. I got the feeling you're going to be okay. That means something.

58:31 Adam Yes. He wants no self-actualization in the first 30 visits. That's his motto. No. I mean, of course. I mean, could you imagine, especially to a woman who's wiring is very delicate, sexually having dad come into the room. I mean, of course she's going to be confused.

58:48 Drew How many times a day is normal to whack it, would you say?

58:52 Adam How old are you?

58:53 Drew 26.

58:54 Adam 26? Nine times. Not more than nine times. Eight or nine times.

59:00 Drew Right on schedule.

59:01 Adam Yeah, you're doing good. I'm doing good. I'd say, you know, Drew always, Drew always, I mean, he really, I almost crack the lens in his glasses when I tell him seriously.

59:13 Drew I thought I was going somewhere else.

59:15 Adam Well, you don't get out of the way, you don't get out of the way. When I start making that train whistle sound, you run for cover. That's the way the game goes. No, I tell Drew, you know, you can put me down for once a day, and occasionally I miss a day, but I have more tour days than I do miss a day.

59:34 Drew You use your imagination or material?

59:36 Adam I use my imagination while I use the VCR. Sometimes I have to use my imagination to try to find where the remote is. That's the extent of my imagination. I wonder, let me see if I can picture myself putting that remote somewhere when I was whacking off last time. Jesus Christ, where's that hamper? Let me see if I can visualize the hamper. There we go. Yeah, that's about it. No, I don't need my imagination anymore. I save it for the show so I can share it with the kids. Jan?

1:00:05 Caller Yeah?

1:00:06 Adam You're 24.

1:00:07 Caller Yeah.

1:00:08 Adam What's up?

1:00:09 Caller Well, both my father and the man I married were abusive. I left him approximately a year ago and I have just recently, about a month or two ago, started dating a man. I guess my question is, is the abusive men that I've known are not traditional abusive like in alcoholism or drugs or like their parents beat them. They simply have power complexes like my father was extremely religious and my husband was, he didn't start hitting me till I was about nine months pregnant with our daughter.

1:00:43 Adam Nice.

1:00:44 Caller Good timing.

1:00:45 Adam Yeah. Who says Chivalry is dead by the way?

1:00:50 Caller So I guess, you know, it was just a real power thing. I was very insecure at the time when he started hitting me and so he had all the control.

1:00:56 Adam He really started hitting you when you were nine months pregnant?

1:00:59 Caller Yeah.

1:00:59 Adam Wow. What a dynamite guy. And how long ago was this?

1:01:04 Caller Well, I was pregnant when I was 19.

1:01:08 Adam I see. And how's your child doing now?

1:01:10 Caller Oh, she's good. My sister is down here helping me. My sister is a wonderful help.

1:01:14 Adam I see. All right. And no man in your life right now then?

1:01:17 Caller Like I said, I just started dating a guy and I guess I'm curious of the signs because I tend to go for men that I don't really find necessarily attractive, but I like their personality. This is how I met my husband.

1:01:29 Adam Right. Well, you like their personality, but it's not so much you like it, it's that you're attracted to them. And the reason you're attracted to them is because you kind of come from that.

1:01:39 Caller Yeah.

1:01:40 Adam It's not a good part of the human condition that you're attracted to people, like your dad's an alcoholic, so you naturally end up with an alcoholic, but it seems to be pretty consistent. But I'll tell you whether this guy's an abuser, or what kind of car does he drive? El Camino? Pradesman van? Any kind of van? Anything with Bondo or Primer on it? What does he drive?

1:02:00 Caller No.

1:02:01 Adam What is it?

1:02:02 Caller He drives a little foreign car.

1:02:04 Adam No? It's probably all right.

1:02:06 Drew Le Car?

1:02:07 Adam Yeah. What is it?

1:02:08 Caller He's actually from Africa.

1:02:11 Adam I see. And does he, really, what kind of small car does he drive?

1:02:18 Caller I didn't pay attention to what my car was.

1:02:20 Adam I love that about women. They have no idea what kind of car the guy drives.

1:02:23 Caller Actually, I love cars, but I only sports cars.

1:02:26 Adam You've been in his car 40 times, right?

1:02:28 Caller No.

1:02:29 Adam Never been in his car?

1:02:30 Caller No.

1:02:30 Adam What kind of relationship is this? You've never been in his car.

1:02:33 Caller Well, I don't know. We visit a lot. We don't go out too much because, like I say, I have a daughter. I just basically talk to him. It's not anything serious at the moment. I want to know the signs before I actually get attached and they have the control.

1:02:49 Adam What does he do for a living?

1:02:51 Caller Right now he's in school. He goes to college. But he also works at the same place I do.

1:02:56 Caller We're both servers.

1:02:58 Adam So he's a waiter, you're a waiter, waitress. And what kind of food does he eat? A lot of meat, a lot of potatoes?

1:03:06 Caller No. Actually, he's very healthy.

1:03:09 Drew Salad man? Salad man?

1:03:12 Adam What? What are you saying? Salad.

1:03:13 Drew You like salad?

1:03:14 Caller Salad?

1:03:15 Adam Yeah, salad. Is this food you eat before the main meal comes? Sometimes you put something called dressing. Are you writing this down? No, because there's a lot of different times. You got Thousand Island, you got Roeford. No, no.

1:03:27 Drew Temptation Island.

1:03:29 Adam He's a sandwich guy? Uh, that's not good. Or turkey?

1:03:35 Caller Turkey.

1:03:36 Adam Oh, turkey. All right.

1:03:37 Drew You want to avoid karate men?

1:03:39 Caller What now?

1:03:40 Drew You want to avoid karate men in general?

1:03:43 Adam Well, they pronounce it karate. You got trouble. He sounds all right, but the fact that you're attracted to him makes us all a little nervous.

1:03:53 Caller Yeah. Yeah, I kind of realize that. And I know, I see like some similarities between him and my husband, like, personality-wise. And that's what kind of freaks me out.

1:04:04 Adam Well, I mean, what is it, though, that you're with a guy and you don't know him? Like, you don't get a vibe off him? You know what I'm saying?

1:04:12 Caller Well, I usually go for, like, intellectual conversation. I talk about philosophy, different things. So when I talk with a guy, we just sit down and just chat. And I really don't, I don't know. I mean, I've asked him about his family, and he seems to have a...

1:04:24 Adam No, no. I'm not talking about grilling the guy for information. I'm talking about getting a vibe off another human being as to whether they can be an aggressive person, an angry person.

1:04:35 Drew If he's wearing boxing gloves to dinner, it's a good sign.

1:04:38 Adam Does he, what sports does he like?

1:04:41 Caller Soccer?

1:04:42 Adam Yeah.

1:04:43 Guest If you break that down, what does that say?

1:04:45 Drew Soccer. That's not a good start.

1:04:47 Guest That's true.

1:04:50 Adam In high school, he played beat the bitch, which is an African sport. It's not out there. I've seen it on ESPN too.

1:04:58 Guest Oh my God. No.

1:04:59 Adam Listen, Jan, keep your eyes open. But also start trying to trust your vibes and your instincts. Absolutely. Get the no part. He's not just a man.

1:05:10 Caller But that's the thing.

1:05:11 Adam He's got a name. He's your boyfriend.

1:05:12 Caller I have great instincts. Like with my family, my mom was dating a guy. I had an awesome instinct about the guy. He was a jerk off when I knew he was. But when it comes to me, from seeing it, I just can't. I don't know what it is, but they're usually very calm people.

1:05:28 Adam Well, why don't you presume him innocent until proven guilty?

1:05:32 Caller Because by then I'll be attached and I don't...

1:05:34 Adam Don't go slow.

1:05:35 Caller It took me like four years to leave the guy I was already with.

1:05:39 Adam But listen, Jan, what must it be like to be you and go through life not knowing who you're with, worrying that you're going to be attached to an A-hole? What is that like? You're just blowing in the wind. Can you get a little therapy, read a book, start to find a center? You know what I mean? Start to trust your instincts.

1:06:00 Guest Yeah.

1:06:01 Adam I mean, don't you eventually have to do that? You're not going to know anybody.

1:06:05 Guest Yeah.

1:06:05 Adam You got to know yourself first. First have to know yourself. And you can't love anyone until you love me. I thought you were going to say yourself, but I'm talking about me. I like some love and then you can go ahead and love other people. Once you learn to love me, then you can learn to love other people. That's right. That's how it works? Yeah. Because I'm in love with the notion of being in love. That's where I'm coming in. Yeah. Let's just take a beat for that one. Okay. Jim? Jim? The caller goes by the name Jim with 16? Hello? Yes, Jim?

1:06:45 Yeah. I've got like this.

1:06:47 Adam No, you don't. This is a bogus call. Two syllables into it, you jackass. How dare you call this show with your bogus problems and waste our caller's time. What is it?

1:07:03 I've got like a lot of hair on my ass and I'm kind of embarrassed about it.

1:07:07 Adam I see. At 16?

1:07:09 Yeah.

1:07:10 Drew It happens.

1:07:12 Adam Not at 16, it doesn't.

1:07:13 Drew I know this Jewish kid, Yoel, and he, I mean, it was a jungle at the gym. The gym was a jungle gym.

1:07:19 Adam Yoel? He used to hang out with Guy Dudebrow? I told Drew my ass looked like the opening to the Batcave the other day. I was like, you could not see it until I break wind. And then that's when you find the opening. You ever see the opening of the beginning of Batman? That thing flaps down, it goes right in. When I break wind, that's what it looks like.

1:07:40 Caller That's great.

1:07:40 Adam Yeah, I also told him my ass looked like Santa's mouth.

1:07:45 Caller It was gross.

1:07:46 Adam It always grosses Drew out too. He loves that one.

1:07:48 Guest Is it white hair?

1:07:49 Adam It will be.

1:07:51 Caller It is during the month of December, I'll tell you that.

1:07:54 Guest Because those kids, they want to talk to someone.

1:07:59 Adam Jim, you're 16 and you have a hairy ass already?

1:08:03 Caller Yeah, I think I can almost be in comparison with yours.

1:08:07 Adam Really? What's your nationality? I don't believe it.

1:08:09 Caller I'm Lebanese and Syrian.

1:08:11 Drew I believe it.

1:08:11 Adam All right, game on.

1:08:13 Drew It's a hairy combination.

1:08:15 Adam I see. And you know, chicks are repulsed by this. You're aware of that? Yeah. And you've got to go a very tough road to ho because at 16, that's nothing.

1:08:23 Drew Let me talk to you about something. There's a place called Pink Cheeks in LA where you'll wax your ass for you. Right. You might want to check in to that. I'm trying to help you out here, buddy.

1:08:33 Adam Hey, Jim. Listen, you got to get some shears, you know, like those battery. Don't get the cord ones. Get the battery ones because I got them tied up my nuts once. I had to go to the hospital. You'll get all tangled up down there. I really got it. I had to have it removed. They cut the circulation off. I was this close to losing my testicles. Wow. Jim, yeah, you get yourself those battery-operated shears and give yourself a shear in every couple months.

1:09:02 Drew You can pat it and feed it.

1:09:04 Adam Right.

1:09:04 Drew Name it.

1:09:05 Adam All right there, Jim.

1:09:07 Caller Yeah.

1:09:07 Adam Yeah, good times.

1:09:08 Caller Yeah.

1:09:09 Adam Yeah. Yeah, and Drew, seriously, Drew always talks about, like, lasers and all that kind of stuff, but no, really, who's going to at 16 get their ass lasered? And who's going to put wax on it? This is nonsense. Let me tell you something. If your ass has hair on it and it's a lot of hair, then you have to treat it like it's the hair on your head. You don't have to wax your head or get your head laser. You just take that shear thing and give yourself a marine cut every once in a while. That's all. You should do that. Those are good times. My maid loves that because once in a while I shave my ass. I always do it in the bathtub and then I forget about it.

1:09:49 Drew So you just leave it there?

1:09:51 Adam Yeah. I don't think about it and I use the shower downstairs and the maid shows up and I'm like, oh great, he's been shaving his ass. It's great. $20 for Christmas?

1:09:59 Guest No, that ain't worth it.

1:10:00 Adam $100, they're worth the ass hair detail. But with me, you cannot tell the difference between my ass hair and my head hair.

1:10:06 Caller It's the same. Same hair and course.

1:10:08 Adam Actually, the hair in my ass is a little better. It's more manageable.

1:10:12 Guest A little straighter.

1:10:13 Adam It's a little nicer.

1:10:14 Guest Yeah.

1:10:14 Adam It feels better to the touch and it really lathers the soap up. Tony. Tony. Oh boy. We're really on a roll with the hashes tonight. Tony. Caller goes by the name Tony. All right. I'm going to put him back on hold and we'll go to Cody. Cody is 19. Cody.

1:10:34 Hello.

1:10:35 Adam You're 19. Your girlfriend leaves for a month at a time. You want to know if this is normal?

1:10:41 Caller Yeah. She like, she calls me up and she's all like, I miss you and I want to be with you and stuff like that. And we'll hang out for like a week and then she'll like, just like disappear and like go to her friend's house and won't call me and I can't get a hold of her or nothing.

1:10:55 Adam Yeah. She may not be that into you.

1:10:58 Caller Oh, really?

1:10:59 Adam You know? Yeah. Does she look at you as her boyfriend? Yeah.

1:11:03 Caller I mean she like, she'll just be all, okay, we're together now. That's how it is. And then she'll be all like, and then she'll just like go off. She lives with her grandma and so go to her friend and I can't get a hold of her and I don't know where she's at or nothing.

1:11:15 Caller How old is she?

1:11:17 Caller She's 18.

1:11:18 Adam I see. And uh... She's a tough age. Yeah.

1:11:21 Guest Where does she say that she's going?

1:11:23 Caller She never tells me. She'll make plans. She'll be all, we'll make plans to do something like the next day or something and she'll be all... She'll just... I call up to say I'm coming over and she'll just be like gone and like her grandma will be all... She's staying at her friend's house.

1:11:38 Drew She might be seeing someone else.

1:11:40 Guest Why are you still staying with her?

1:11:42 Caller I don't know.

1:11:43 Guest Well that's a good thing.

1:11:43 Guest Let's get out there.

1:11:44 Drew There's a lot of girls out there.

1:11:46 Guest Where are you from?

1:11:46 Drew Arizona?

1:11:47 Adam Bakersfield.

1:11:48 Guest Bakersfield.

1:11:49 Drew There's a lot of girls in Bakersfield, Jim.

1:11:50 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

1:11:51 Caller This is a copy of Jim.

1:11:53 Adam No, it is. It's a dump. I know. No. You've got to get out of there. I'm trying. All right. Do what you can. But listen, why don't you just tell her straight out, you know, you need to know where you stand in the relationship. And if she can't rally, then you get out. All right? You're so much better than that, Cody.

1:12:08 Drew Now, keep your head up, Cody. You're a good man.

1:12:10 Adam Can I say one more thing? All right.

1:12:12 Caller Well, the guy last night, he was all talking about the pimple thing.

1:12:15 Caller I got one.

1:12:16 Adam You have a pimple on your penis?

1:12:18 Caller Yeah.

1:12:18 Adam All right. Well, your stock just dropped a little. You're not that great a guy. Oh. All right. And it's on the end of your penis, like the guy called Lazenby?

1:12:26 Caller It's on my balls. It's like a little white head.

1:12:28 Adam Yeah.

1:12:28 Caller It's like I can pop it, but it won't pop, nothing.

1:12:31 Adam Right. Yeah.

1:12:32 Drew How's that going for you?

1:12:33 Guest I don't know, man. It hurts. I want to get rid of it.

1:12:35 Adam All right. Why don't you try Lansing of the pin? Drew always hates when I tell people to do surgery on themselves, but I've done it so many times on myself that I feel very comfortable Just boil it, sir... .to tell our listeners. Boil it. Yeah. Boil your balls and then Lansing. No. Cody?

1:12:50 Caller Yeah.

1:12:50 Adam Yeah. You're just living it. It's all right.

1:12:52 Caller I'm going to try that mirror thing.

1:12:54 Adam Yeah. Don't try the mirror thing. That's as I had a carbuncle on my ass. You understand? I needed the mirror. I couldn't find my ass. All right. You understand? Yeah. Like Commissioner Gordon with the Batcave. Yeah. You know where it was. He knew it was in town somewhere. I just couldn't pinpoint it. That's how my ass is. All right. We will take ourselves a little break. Simon Rex is here from Jack and Jill. Dr. Bakaly is filling in for Dr. Drew and we'll be back.

1:13:23 Guest My Bible will be right back. Hey, this is Adam Corolla, and this is Dr. Drew, and you're listening to LoveLine on New Rock 104.

1:13:47 Adam Yeah, this is my new favorite Rockstar riff. Simon Rex is our guest tonight from Jack and Jill. Wednesday night, it's nine o'clock, WB. Dr. Bakaly is our guest tonight. Well, our second guest. He's filling in for Dr. Drew.

1:14:03 Guest And doing a damn good job.

1:14:04 Adam He is doing a wonderful, wonderful job.

1:14:06 Drew He's got a good voice. He's got a good DJ voice.

1:14:08 Guest Yeah?

1:14:08 Drew Yeah, I think so. Yeah. What do you think?

1:14:13 Adam He's got a DJ look. He has like a sort of a soft oldies kind of look to him.

1:14:19 Guest Soft oldies.

1:14:20 Adam We got another superset of Brad. You got kind of that smooth. I like Brad. I can do that. Yeah, you're right. Right smack in the middle of our demo with that Brad. Hey, Ann, when's Drew coming back? Can we get him in tonight? Thursday. Thursday? Holy Christ. Bakaly tomorrow night, too? No. What do we got?

1:14:40 Drew What do we got tomorrow night?

1:14:42 Guest Psychic Medium.

1:14:43 Adam Oh, Psychic Medium tomorrow night. Oh, I love these crazy bras. Oh, they come in here and tell everyone what they want to hear.

1:14:49 Drew I see you got the host coming in of Temptation Island, Mark L. Wahlberg. He had to throw the medal initially after the success of Marky Mark. Right.

1:14:57 Adam Well, he was... I guess it is, yeah. Yeah, Mark I've known for a while, and this guy, his career had completely hit the skids. This guy had his own syndicated TV show. I remember.

1:15:09 Drew What was he on? His face looks familiar.

1:15:10 Adam The Mark Wahlberg Show. Like, he did his own daytime show.

1:15:15 Drew Daytime show?

1:15:16 Adam I remember he was at Nappy like five years ago when we were there peddling LoveLine, and he had his own show and he had like playing cards with his picture on it and the whole thing, and then I saw him a few years later. He was doing a warm-up for Win Ben Stein's money. Yeah, he really bottomed out. Now look at him. He's on the second biggest show on Wednesday night.

1:15:37 Drew That's right. Second to Jack and Jill.

1:15:40 Adam You're damn straight it is. I don't care what the numbers say.

1:15:43 Drew Yeah, me either.

1:15:46 Adam I don't care if they personally pull every mother effort in the United States, and they watch that show is still number two.

1:15:54 Drew Absolutely.

1:15:56 Adam In the hearts and minds of the cast and crew of Jack and Jill. We love it.

1:16:02 Drew We love it.

1:16:02 Adam Absolutely. Derek?

1:16:05 Caller Yeah.

1:16:07 Adam You're 16?

1:16:08 Caller It's an honor to be able to... I want to be screwed up enough to call.

1:16:11 Adam Thank you.

1:16:11 Caller Yeah. Well, first up, I made up my call since I've been trying to get through a week. I couldn't get through it, and it's a real problem for me. At school, there's this new Japanese exchange student that just got in.

1:16:23 Caller We're like a small private school.

1:16:25 Caller And so all the sophomore guys pretty much sit in the same area. This guy is like not good with English or anything. And one day we started to talk to him, and he pulled out these pictures from Japan. And these really strange... He took out these pictures of a whole bunch of his friends, like six, like jumping on this guy and trying to take pictures of him in the... kind of naked to humiliate him.

1:16:52 Adam He pulled out pictures of guys jumping on him and trying to take pictures?

1:16:56 Caller No, not him. He was holding the camera.

1:16:58 Adam He was holding the camera?

1:16:59 Caller Yeah. It was like this other guy.

1:17:01 Adam Right.

1:17:01 Caller Yeah. They were trying to humiliate him by taking these pictures. It was like graphic. It was like really close up and stuff.

1:17:07 Adam Of what?

1:17:08 Caller Of like, you know, the ass and everything else down there.

1:17:10 Adam Uh-huh.

1:17:11 Caller Yeah. And I'm like kind of almost scared of this guy right now. Yeah.

1:17:16 Caller I was like in the bathroom with him alone one day and he was like looking at me and...

1:17:20 Adam No, you weren't.

1:17:21 Caller Yes, I was.

1:17:22 Caller I'm not really making this up.

1:17:23 Guest All right. All right.

1:17:24 Adam So...

1:17:24 Caller He was like Kim Schiff.

1:17:25 Drew I believe him for some reason.

1:17:26 Adam Can you stop going on outings with him in the bathroom? Would that be all right?

1:17:31 Caller Yeah, but what I really want to know is if I should like try to, you know, turn him in or do something.

1:17:36 Adam To...

1:17:36 Drew Nobody likes a snitch.

1:17:38 Adam Yeah. To... Haven't these people suffered enough with our sub coming underneath their fishing boats? You know what I mean? Do we really need to punish every one of the Japanese citizens?

1:17:48 Drew You sound like you're hiding from them right now.

1:17:51 Caller Actually, I'm hiding from my own parents. I'm supposed to be on the phone this late.

1:17:54 Adam I see. Are they Japanese?

1:17:56 Caller No, they're Italian.

1:17:57 Adam No, worse. Second only to the Japanese troublemakers, Italians. Believe me, I know. Most people think I'm Jewish, but I'm not. I'm Italian. I know firsthand what troublemakers they can be. And I can speak freely about my own rights. You're allowed to beat up your own rights. Just think in Guineas.

1:18:14 Drew Thank God I'm Jewish.

1:18:16 Adam Smelly, greasy, paisans, the degos. The degos. Yes, degos.

1:18:20 Guest There you go. Wafs.

1:18:23 Adam Yeah, they're all the mafia, all of them.

1:18:24 Caller Yeah.

1:18:25 Adam Yeah. All right. So, yeah. Hey, Derek.

1:18:29 Caller Yeah.

1:18:29 Adam Why don't you just kind of steer clear of the guy?

1:18:31 Caller Just don't even bother with him.

1:18:33 Adam I think that'd be a good plan.

1:18:34 Drew It's a normal pop culture thing in Japan to jump on another man naked.

1:18:38 It's sort of like out here, you know, you play Frisbee.

1:18:40 Drew It's the same thing. Right. That's like if you went to Japan and showed a picture of Frisbee, they might freak out and hide from you.

1:18:46 Adam Right. Yeah, I did that once. It was a huge international scene. Yeah, I was cain. All right. They do that in Japan. Where do they do that caning? Is that China? Was that the Philippines? Where's that caning going on?

1:19:00 Drew Bangkok or somewhere?

1:19:01 Adam Wherever it was going on, I was happy to hear it.

1:19:03 Drew That was a great story.

1:19:04 Adam I was fine with that. There's a little snot-nose, round-eyed over there and start spray-painting on stuff. Get a good caning. Yeah. You're lucky you didn't get mourned. Fine with that. Tony?

1:19:16 Caller Yeah.

1:19:17 Adam You're 16?

1:19:18 Caller Yeah. Like a few weeks ago, me and these guys, we went out, we took off of school and we got this fat chick drunk and we took her to this house and when she got sobered up, we told her that we had done all sorts of sexual stuff to her and then we heard she went back to the place where we left from and she was going to try to kill herself. But she went to talk to the doctor and they checked her out and she was like still the virgin. She was like still a virgin. My question is can I be arrested and be sued for making her believe and making her dick and stuff?

1:19:58 Adam I see. That's first off, a wonderful tale. You should write children's books. You really should. The time we rolled this fat chick.

1:20:06 Drew Very Shakespearean.

1:20:08 Adam Yeah.

1:20:08 Guest Why on earth did you do that?

1:20:10 Caller It was just something to do.

1:20:13 Drew I see. We all go through that stage at one point, don't we guys? We take a fat girl and convince her that you hurt, you know, it's normal.

1:20:19 Adam Well, listen, I've spent a better part of my life trying to convince my friends that I didn't have sex with fat girls. That's really the more plausible angle. Tony, listen, I understand. You're kind of a troublemaker, right? You're a little bit, like you'll be in jail in a couple of years, right? Yeah, probably. Okay. So, you know, you got that ahead of you. Jail or worse, junior college, right? So you're going down that road. And I understand, you got like a little malicious sense of humor. That's how guys are. Now, what you did, yes, you could get in trouble for this because even if you didn't actually do the things you said you were going to do to her, you still got her drunk and you essentially sort of abducted her. And that could be trouble in the eyes of the law. Do you have a criminal history? No. No? No rap sheet? No. Oh, you're way behind, buddy. What are you doing wasting time on the phone? I don't know. You got to go out and commit some crime. Yeah, go get out there. You got a rap sheet. You're running behind. Yeah. You got any older brothers or sisters that are incarcerated?

1:21:22 Caller No, I'm the oldest one right now.

1:21:24 Guest All right.

1:21:25 Adam Well, it's important for you to set a good negative example. All right. By going to prison early and often.

1:21:29 Guest All right.

1:21:30 Adam I'll listen, Tony. Really, seriously, don't get in trouble, will you? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Why don't you, you know, stay in school, get a job, do all that boring stuff?

1:21:41 Drew I mean, that would have really sucked if she would have killed herself. Then you would have been feeling horrible. But luckily, she didn't do it.

1:21:45 Adam You know, wouldn't you have felt bad if she killed herself?

1:21:49 Guest Oh, no. Maybe.

1:21:50 Adam Yeah. Well, put it this way, Tony. As you know, I'm a genius. Okay. So let me tell you this. I know what it's like to be 16 and be a little bit of a screwball and have some energy and all that kind of stuff. And you know what? She could have killed herself. And I bet you may not have felt too bad about it. I really do believe that about you. It's not a compliment, but I'm being realistic. And I believe that about you. But you know what? There will come a time in your life when you will feel bad about it. You might be 35. You might have a few kids of your own. Maybe you have a daughter who gets to be her age. And one day, it will pop in your head and you will feel real bad about it. And then it won't come out of your head.

1:22:32 Guest And maybe you will get a real fat daughter.

1:22:34 Adam That's right. You will get a fat daughter and it will remind you of it. So don't do these things. And all of you don't do these things. Because they may not bother you now, but they will bother you later on in life. It's like when Drew was photographed doing Man of La Mancha as a sophomore in high school.

1:22:53 Guest Yeah, you saw that.

1:22:54 Adam He didn't feel bad about it at the time. But now it haunts him.

1:22:58 Guest Don't bring it up with him.

1:22:59 Adam I won't. I'll get a sound thrashing from him if I do. All right, we will take ourselves a little bit of a break here. Simon Rex is here from Jack and Jill. Wednesday Nights, WB, 9 o'clock. We'll take a break.

1:23:11 Guest We'll be back.

1:23:13 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE, 1-91.

1:23:17 Guest Back in a minute.

1:23:32 Caller There you go.

1:23:34 Adam Simon Rex is our guest tonight. He is from Jack and Jill.

1:23:39 Drew Great show.

1:23:39 Adam Fantabulous, fantastic, fantastic show.

1:23:43 Drew It got four stars out of ten.

1:23:46 Adam Out by, yes, it is a tremendous show. It is the marvelous, talented Amanda Peden is just a wonderful, wonderful individual, and big. Phone number, 1-800-LE-1-9-1. Dr. Bakaly is our guest tonight as well. He is filling in for Dr. Drew. And tomorrow night, we are going to have a psychic on the show for Valentine's Day. So, all you retards out there, line up your questions. Alexandra?

1:24:18 Guest Hi. Hey, you're 15.

1:24:19 Caller Hey. I just wanted to say hi to Simon Rex.

1:24:23 Drew Hi.

1:24:24 Caller Hey, I watch your show religiously every week.

1:24:27 Drew I'm glad you like it.

1:24:28 Caller It's awesome. I was wondering, I heard that two people on the show are dating.

1:24:34 Drew Yeah. Who did you hear are dating?

1:24:37 Adam Who's dating?

1:24:39 Drew Hello?

1:24:40 Adam Alexandra?

1:24:40 Guest Yeah.

1:24:41 Drew Who did you hear was dating?

1:24:42 Caller I don't know. I was listening to the news and they said they were going to tell us that I switched off the TV and I never heard.

1:24:49 Guest Oh, you poor thing.

1:24:51 Drew I'm actually dating Jamie from the show, Jamie Presley, beautiful young girl.

1:24:54 Caller Audrey?

1:24:55 Drew Audrey. But I don't call her that unless we're in bed.

1:24:59 Adam She is beautiful. I called her nuts, I think, and she was going to come on this show a couple of weeks ago, I think. Does this story sound familiar to you? I did the TV show over there. I did the Rock and Jock bowling, I think, with her a couple of months back, and she was going to come on this show, and I think I called her nuts on the air, and sort of like publicist called and she didn't come on.

1:25:26 Drew Oh, I don't think that's the case, because when I told her she was doing this, she was excited and didn't mention anything about that.

1:25:30 Adam Oh, maybe her publicist heard me say it or something. I've called a few people nuts and we've had difficulty.

1:25:36 Drew She would not care.

1:25:36 Caller She's cool.

1:25:37 Adam She is a little nuts, right?

1:25:39 Drew Oh, yeah. All girls are nuts, but no more than any other girl's nuts.

1:25:43 Adam Oh, really?

1:25:43 Guest Yeah.

1:25:44 Adam I put her down for a little extra nuts.

1:25:47 Drew No, she's a grounded chick.

1:25:48 Guest I know.

1:25:49 Adam I don't mean, I don't, no, I don't, I get nuts, but I get grounded nuts out of her. Yeah, she can be grounded nuts like you put on a sundae.

1:25:56 Drew She's a passionate person.

1:25:57 Adam Well, Drew is a very passionate, passionate.

1:25:59 Drew Is he nuts?

1:26:02 Adam No, not in a conventional way. No, no. Okay, so we're all a little bit nuts.

1:26:07 Drew Yeah.

1:26:07 Adam All right. So hey, Alexandra?

1:26:10 Caller Yeah.

1:26:10 Adam You got your answer? Yeah. Jamie Presley?

1:26:12 Caller Thank you so much.

1:26:13 Adam Yeah. She's, I'll tell you, she's one stone fox, that Jamie Presley. I've seen her and she's like in all the magazines now, all these ones that have the breakdown of the top 100 women, top 10 women, all the bikini.

1:26:28 Drew She was ranked number seven, I think, but I told her, baby, you're number six.

1:26:31 Adam For sure. Yeah.

1:26:33 Drew There's no seven.

1:26:33 Adam You know how to sweet talk a gal.

1:26:35 Drew It's like, come on, babe.

1:26:36 Adam Yeah. You know what always screws with me with those things is like Gillian Anderson will be like number three, and some amazing piece of ass will be number 59, and I start yelling at the magazine, and I start storming around the office, and I wave it around over my head, and I yell hoax. I mean, that's all. I'd really like to give some of those guys a good ass kicking.

1:26:58 Drew Yeah, it's a little... I don't know who's picking them, but...

1:27:01 Adam Jamie should definitely be on those lists, and probably even higher up than she is, or lower down as it were, because it's like a golf score. But some of the women that get in front of some of the women in that magazine, I can't figure it out.

1:27:15 Drew Yeah, it drives me nuts.

1:27:17 Adam I really like to talk to the homos that are making those lists sometimes. Jeanette, you're 22. What's up?

1:27:25 Caller Well, Saturday was my wedding day, and my fiance left me at the altar.

1:27:31 Guest Really?

1:27:32 Adam I thought it was just something that happened in movies.

1:27:35 Drew Well, Jack and Jill is about that, actually. That's the whole basis of the show.

1:27:38 Adam Well, movies and TV shows.

1:27:41 Guest Really?

1:27:43 Adam You were actually standing at the altar?

1:27:45 Caller Yeah. It came to the point where the priest was like, do you take this woman to be your wife? And he was like, I'm sorry, I can't.

1:27:52 Adam Wow. Oh my God. That is great. I mean, bad for you, but just great radio.

1:27:59 Caller It's huge. It's beautiful.

1:28:01 Drew When was this? How long ago?

1:28:02 Guest It was so long ago.

1:28:05 Adam It's out of a movie because when people say left at the altar, I think of it as a figure of speech, meaning two days before the wedding, he backed out or something like that, but actually standing there in front of God and family and everything. And so he said no. And then what happened?

1:28:25 Caller He left and we haven't heard from him ever since.

1:28:29 Adam And he just ran out of the church?

1:28:31 Caller And he like walked out and left and left me standing there like a dumbass and I was just...

1:28:35 Adam Oh baby. And what do you suspect is going on?

1:28:41 Caller I have no idea what's going on.

1:28:43 Drew How old are you?

1:28:44 Caller I'm twenty-two.

1:28:45 Drew I'll tell you, this is a blessing in disguise. It probably would have been a bad thing if it happened. That's how you got to look at it. Easy to say from my end, but that's, you know...

1:28:53 Adam Oh, that son of a bitch. That's horrible. Yes, go ahead, Bakaly.

1:28:57 Drew How long have you known him?

1:28:59 Caller Um, we were together for about five years.

1:29:01 Guest Five years.

1:29:02 Caller And we lived together for like a year.

1:29:04 Guest And who wanted to get married?

1:29:07 Caller We both decided, and he proposed to me.

1:29:09 Adam I see. And do you think, I mean, is he an unstable guy?

1:29:15 Caller No, he's still very nice and down to earth, and I don't know what went wrong.

1:29:20 Adam And have you had no contact with him since Saturday?

1:29:23 Caller He hasn't contacted his parents, any of his friends.

1:29:26 Drew He just freaked out. Maybe he'll come back, and maybe marriage was too sudden.

1:29:31 Caller I don't know.

1:29:32 Adam Oh yeah, he'll come back. I think he had sort of a spaz attack. But, I mean, on a lighter side, how was the reception good? I mean, was the food, did you guys still eat the cake? I mean, what do you do?

1:29:44 Drew Do you get to keep the gifts?

1:29:47 Caller I haven't even opened any of them.

1:29:48 Adam Oh my God.

1:29:50 Drew That blender will just make you break down.

1:29:53 Adam Oh my God. And so what did everyone do? So did he literally said like no and then just bolted?

1:30:02 Caller He was just like, I'm sorry, I can't do this. And he walked away.

1:30:06 Adam And he walked right through the church?

1:30:07 Caller Exactly.

1:30:08 Caller At least he said sorry.

1:30:10 Adam And everyone just, was it a full church?

1:30:12 Caller Yes.

1:30:13 Adam There's hundreds of people? And did anyone from his side of the family get up and follow them out, any of his friends or anything?

1:30:20 Caller His mom and dad went running after him.

1:30:22 Adam And, and what did they say when they came back?

1:30:25 Caller They said that he didn't want to talk about it and he just left.

1:30:27 Adam He just got in his car and drove? And all, you guys live together, right?

1:30:33 Caller Yes.

1:30:33 Adam So all of his things are at your house? He's not been back to the house? And what about his job?

1:30:41 Caller Well, um, cause he was working for his dad. And he hasn't shown up there either and, I don't know.

1:30:48 Adam Are you worried about him?

1:30:50 Caller I am so worried about him.

1:30:52 Adam Do you think that he may have done something or tried to kill himself or something?

1:30:55 Caller No, he's not like that, but like I just want to know where he is and know that he's okay and it's like nerve-racking.

1:31:02 Drew Yeah, at least he could call you or something, you know, tell you he's up, you know.

1:31:06 Adam Well, I mean, the reason he's not calling is because he's, you know, ashamed.

1:31:08 Caller He's so horrible, yeah.

1:31:09 Adam And he's embarrassed as hell.

1:31:11 Drew I feel embarrassed.

1:31:12 Adam Yeah, and he doesn't, you know, doesn't want to own up to it. And you guys have been together for five years.

1:31:18 Drew Five years.

1:31:18 Adam How old is he?

1:31:19 Caller He is 26.

1:31:22 Adam I see. So, wait a minute now. You were 17 and he was, what, 21 or something when he got together?

1:31:31 Drew Have you seen Meet the Parents?

1:31:33 Caller Yes.

1:31:34 Adam All right. Listen, this is the kind of thing, I got a couple, I'm going to get philosophical on your ass for a second, all right? This is horrible. It's also going to be the kind of thing that when you're married to another guy or even this guy five years from now that you're laughing about, even though you'll still be making him pay well after he's dead if you marry him, but it will be, it will work out. I mean, you obviously don't want to potentially spend the rest of your life with someone who does, who can't handle it. And in a way better that he did this than you guys had three kids and, you know, two years from now this guy disappears on you. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And I know it's devastating. I know it's heartbreaking. The other thing is, is you're 22. I mean, you're young, maybe too young to be married. You got, you got all the time in the world. He's just embarrassed. He's crashing out of one of his friends' house drinking beer.

1:32:36 Drew Maybe he's just kidding or something.

1:32:38 Adam Is it all part of an elaborate scheme? WB put him up to it. They're probably interviewing him now. Something's a motel.

1:32:45 Drew Some Jack and Jill promotional thing.

1:32:47 Adam Right. Now you'll, this is, this will work out. But I know it's horrible now, but this will not be a permanent scar. Do you know what I'm talking about?

1:32:57 Drew I think she'll be okay. It's horrible, right? It just happened Saturday, so, you know, give it a few days.

1:33:01 Adam Yeah.

1:33:02 Caller Oh, my God.

1:33:04 Adam Horrible. Listen, somebody on her side of the family should have thrown a shoulder into him when he was walking down.

1:33:11 Drew Stuck a leg out of anything.

1:33:12 Adam Yeah, taking him down, and he did what my dad did when my sister got married. Cuff him, drag him back to the altar and do it right. Slap him around a little, give him the rag of ether, move duct tape.

1:33:27 Drew It's just horrible. Have you seen my show?

1:33:30 Adam My job. Pissed off. His buddies spent 129 bucks renting that burgundy tux. You son of a bitch. Alright, we'll take a break.

1:33:42 Guest We'll be back. LoveLine with Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla on New Rock 104.

1:34:12 Adam Well, there you have it. Another fantastic episode of LoveLine. Safely stowed away in the can where it belongs.

1:34:19 Drew That was great.

1:34:20 Adam I want to thank Simon Rex for coming in tonight.

1:34:22 Drew Thank you for having me. I had a good time.

1:34:24 Adam It was our pleasure having you, and come back anytime you like. Jack and Jill, everyone. Wednesday nights, nine o'clock WB. Dr. Bakaly, thank you very much for coming in and doing a wonderful job filling in for our president. Dr. Drew, so until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Bakaly saying mahalo.

1:34:49 Caller This has been LoveLine. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for LoveLine is Ann Wilkins Engel. LoveLine is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, February 13, 2001