Episode 1000754887050

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:10 Voiceover Love Line, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Voiceover Yep, it is Love Line. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew's a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Uh-oh, it's going to be a long night, Drew.

1:26 Drew Yeah, you broke through that faint enthusiasm real fast.

1:29 Adam Yeah.

1:30 Nice.

1:30 Adam Tonight, our guests are a couple of DI's, drill instructors from the hit show Boot Camp on Fox. Wednesday night, it's 9 o'clock. Leo McSweeney and Tony Rosenbum are both here, and these guys are world champion yellers.

1:45 Get on your knees, scumbag!

1:47 Adam You guys must love Full Metal Jacket. Giddy up.

1:50 Guest He's our hero.

1:52 Adam Yeah, I love that. And I love watching people get yelled at. I think we all do.

1:58 Drew Do you watch Boot Camp?

1:59 Adam No.

2:00 Drew I do.

2:00 Adam You do? I can. I come here.

2:03 Drew So how do you watch it? What's it, 9 o'clock on Wednesdays?

2:06 Guest 9 o'clock on Fox on Wednesdays.

2:07 Drew Yeah, I want to leave at 9.15.

2:09 Adam No, you watch the first 15? Yeah. See, I don't want to do that because it's just toying with myself.

2:15 Drew No, it's fun.

2:16 Adam You know what I mean? I could get excited and not make the show.

2:19 Drew And you've got that TiVo unit, which we actually use.

2:21 Adam Yeah, I haven't. I've had the TiVo for over a year and I still can't figure it out. But the show is doing nicely and it must be cheap to produce.

2:30 Guest Screamers for free.

2:31 Guest So they say.

2:32 Guest Yeah, giddy up.

2:34 Adam Now, you guys, were both of you in the Marines?

2:36 Guest Yes, I still am.

2:38 Adam And how did they select you? There must have gone through quite a few people before they got to you guys.

2:44 Guest You know, just like anything else, there was an interview process where we met with a series of levels of production people, Fox people, those kinds of things.

2:53 Drew Did you get any grief from the Marines?

2:55 Guest No, actually, they were very supportive. They knew that they were going to do a show called Boot Camp. The idea behind sending real Marine Corps drill instructors, three out of four of us active duty, with the exception of Leo, was the fact that they knew we'd do it right. So the Boot Camp would actually have some realism behind it, besides hiring actors to do such a show.

3:13 Drew Did you build the structure of the stuff they have to do, the activities and all?

3:17 Guest Yeah, we actually came up with the training schedule.

3:20 Guest I'd say 85% of the training schedule was the drill instructors.

3:23 Drew Is it typical of a real Boot Camp?

3:26 Guest As far as similarities?

3:27 Yeah.

3:28 Guest Yes and no. There's a lot of similarities. There's also a lot of differences.

3:32 Guest When the drill instructors are on deck, we're on deck and we're training them, it's total intensity, all us drill instructors. You got the Fox thing. You got the little Hollywood hookup that they throw that in there. It's a happy time, we used to call it, where they have to do interviews and stuff with the recruits and the stuff that they need for the show because if it was all drill instructors on deck all the time, 110% of the time, you just have a bunch of cyborgs running around like maniacs.

3:57 Adam You know what I like about the drill instructors is not only do they yell, but they yell in such close proximity to the other person's face, which is great because usually the whole reason yelling was invented was that guys crossing the street you know quarter mile down the street, Bob look out, you know, it's like that, but it's really good when you're two, three inches away from the person and screaming at the top of your lungs. Plus with the camera, but with the camera rolling, I'm sure you kick it into a sixth gear, right?

4:30 Guest No, not at all.

4:30 Guest Same, same.

4:34 Drew They are so over the top all the time. There isn't a sixth gear.

4:39 Guest If there's a sixth gear, my head would explode.

4:41 Adam I'm sure you beat the crap out of the recruits too when the camera is not rolling, but it just seems like the camera presence being there would just kick it into another zone.

4:52 Drew I told Adam, you ought to give two minutes. Take out Mike out in the hall here. Give us two minutes, a minute and a half of what those guys were taking for hours on end.

5:00 Adam All right. And I told Drew, you know how much two minutes is?

5:04 Drew He was thinking about the boxing ring at that point.

5:07 Guest You throw down on somebody for two minutes. That's a long time.

5:10 Adam I know it is. That's what I told this idiot. Ten seconds of being yelled at is enough for six years of therapy. I what you guys is the eyes must have a couple of good raps. You know what I mean? Like, you know, what is your major malfunction and that kind of good stuff. I'd like you to work this one in. Okay, because this is this is one I've heard and I like this one.

5:33 Guest I want you to address me in a clear and present tone, not the voice you use to con drug money off your liberal parents. It's always good if you can work that in. Has that been used before?

5:45 Adam No, that's a new one. You guys can use that one.

5:47 Guest That was nice.

5:47 Guest You know why? Because it works the family in too.

5:50 Guest Yeah, yeah.

5:51 Guest The new generation kind of thing.

5:53 Guest We're family, man. We can do that.

5:54 Guest Yeah.

5:56 Adam Now, what are your go-to lines?

5:59 Guest Mom, I'm so mad at you. I'm so mad at you, mom.

6:05 Adam Yeah, it's not good to break down and yell about your mom in front of the recruits. But, you know what I mean? I mean, there's ad libbing going on out there, but you also got a few good ones, like a good radio DJ.

6:18 Guest Right. I think that, yeah, there's a couple of things. Like Leo, we ad lib almost everything. Very, very few of the shows are scripted as far, we do the dismissals that are semi-scripted in the mission briefs. But one of the most popular sayings around here nowadays is save the drama for your mama and push. Yeah, there you go. That's nice. I said that and Leo comes up with his own little isms and what do you have for breakfast?

6:44 Guest I have people like Freak Show, Yoohoo and Cuckoo. That's like, you forget people's names. I forget people's names all the time. So Freak Show fits everybody, I think.

6:53 Adam Right. Yeah, I like that.

6:56 Guest Come here, Freak Show. You don't want to say that to your mom.

6:59 Drew After these guys were dismissed, because some of them were pretty pissed, you guys, did you sort of reconcile with them in any way or just let it go?

7:07 Guest No, we just threw them off the hill, beat it.

7:09 Drew That's it. You never see them again.

7:12 Guest You give them a little shout out, hey, good job, see you. But we're busy. We have other things to do.

7:17 Adam Yeah. More people to yell at.

7:18 Guest At the end, we had a little rat party thing where you got to know them a little bit. That was only a couple of hours long.

7:24 Drew I was surprised they take it so personally. You know what I mean?

7:29 Guest It's hardcore training. I mean, it's Marine Corps training. We're both former Marine Corps drone instructors, and that's just how it goes. I mean, you're not there to be friends with anybody.

7:37 Drew No, I understand that, but they aren't there to be your friend either.

7:41 Guest People know what they're getting themselves into, and it's like you can watch a movie, but when you're there, it's 100 percent turnaround. You get this guy in your face and it's like, wow.

7:51 Guest You don't have an option to get in the zone or not. We leave you no option. You're either in the zone or we get you in the zone quickly.

7:58 Drew The zone is?

7:59 Guest Just a spirit and discipline intensity, what we say you do without question, without hesitation, and you give it to them physically, mentally, emotionally, you name it. We just give it to them hard.

8:09 Drew This week you're trying to screw around with their sleep a little bit.

8:12 Adam That's the worst.

8:13 Guest Sleep deprivation is good. It's character.

8:17 Adam What is, I'm not talking about the show now, but basic training for your average recruit Marine. Is it like seven weeks? Oh, is it ten weeks?

8:27 Guest Wow. No.

8:28 Drew How long was this thing?

8:29 Guest Thirteen weeks of fun.

8:30 Guest Wow. For us, it was about 42 days, and for the recruits, it was approximately 30 days straight.

8:37 Drew It's like four weeks.

8:37 Right.

8:39 Drew That's a third.

8:39 Guest That was a third.

8:41 Oh, my God.

8:42 Adam Yeah.

8:43 Guest And of course, in a Marine Corps boot camp, you have weaponry tactics, you have traditions and customs and courtesies, and lots and lots of physical training, so we condensed all that without the weapons.

8:53 Adam What is the Army basic training? I mean, lengthwise?

8:58 Guest I think it's like a week and a half, isn't it?

9:00 Guest Well, it's a week and a half of training, and then it's six and a half weeks of hanging out with the drill sergeant at the beach.

9:05 Adam So, yeah, I was thinking of Army. Marine is a lot more intense.

9:10 Drew Yeah, they're talking about the post-event.

9:11 The big Army is eight weeks.

9:12 Guest The big Army is eight weeks.

9:13 Adam That's what I love about the service. I really think one day the Navy is just going to turn on the Marines, and then the Army is going to get into it and try to blow up the Navy. All hell is going to break loose. You know how it's going to start? It's going to start at the Army-Navy football game, and then they're just going to take it out in the street, and the guys are going to run back to the barracks and grab a tomahawk or something, and all hell is going to break loose.

9:37 Guest That sounds good. I think the Army and Navy should kick each other's asses and then the Marine Corps, it'll take us four hours to beat the Coast Guard, and then we're in.

9:46 Adam How much larger is the Army? I don't know percentage-wise. I would assume Army is the biggest, Navy second, and then Marines?

9:56 Guest And then the Air Force.

9:58 Adam Oh, then Air Force, then Marines.

9:59 Guest The Army is about three times the size of the Marine Corps.

10:02 Adam Right.

10:03 Guest The Marine Corps is the smallest.

10:04 Adam But you got to figure you're going to take out four or five of them for each Marine.

10:09 Guest Right, yeah, it's all relative.

10:10 Adam So the odds are really in your favor.

10:11 Guest You can't die unless you take like five. Then we'll let you die. Let me give you permission.

10:15 Adam Corey?

10:16 Yeah.

10:16 Adam You're 16. What's up?

10:17 Caller What's up? I was wondering, I just like to say I had Drone instructor McSweeney and Rosenbaum.

10:22 Guest Yeah, I don't call them.

10:24 Caller I was wondering, Adam, how would I go about making a long distance relationship work better?

10:29 Drew How long is a long distance?

10:30 Caller Like about 350 miles long distance.

10:33 Adam Yeah, how old is she?

10:34 She's about close to 16.

10:36 Caller She's like 15.

10:37 Adam I see. So she's 15?

10:38 Drew She's not driving is what he's saying.

10:40 Guest Get you a fast car.

10:41 You get a car?

10:42 No.

10:43 Adam No wheels, huh?

10:44 No wheels at all.

10:45 Guest There's no honeys in town that you can hook up with?

10:48 Caller If you consider getting slapped like about every other day, no, I kind of got bored of that.

10:52 Drew What does that mean?

10:53 Adam Well, he's just exaggerating. How did you find? Why?

10:57 Caller You have...

10:58 I'm not exaggerating, man.

10:59 Adam Women in town slapping you?

11:01 Caller Most of my exes have.

11:02 Guest What's your clothes on?

11:04 Caller I have.

11:05 Adam Cory, you're 16. You're in high school, right?

11:07 Caller Yeah.

11:08 Adam No other girls in high school? Nope. Where'd you meet this one? On the Internet?

11:12 Caller No, actually, it's my best friend's cousin's girlfriend.

11:15 Or his girlfriend's cousin.

11:17 Drew This is back to the next door neighbor, best friend.

11:21 Adam No, you know what this is? This is a desperate guy who can't get laid in his own town and has found somebody who will theoretically have him and is hanging on with both hands.

11:30 Drew But he's also still using that old mentality of got to know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody that can make that connection.

11:36 Adam Yeah.

11:37 Guest Are you cool? I mean, you a cool guy in school? Are you like a goofball?

11:40 Caller I have like a really good circle of friends, but.

11:42 Guest Are you cool or are you a goofball? I mean, I'm not trying to put you down.

11:45 Drew You're gay.

11:45 Adam A true place.

11:46 Drew Do you live in a real tiny town?

11:48 Caller Yeah.

11:48 Drew How many people live there?

11:50 Caller I don't know. It's like a real small hick town.

11:52 Drew How many people in the high school?

11:54 Caller Not more than like 300 or 600.

11:57 Adam Okay. So we double the estimate. Yeah, it's not bad. You have wheels?

12:03 Caller I have them, but I don't have the license to use them.

12:06 Adam I see. What happened to your license?

12:08 Caller I actually haven't gotten it yet. It's been like, I've been trying to get my birth certificate up from California.

12:12 Adam All right. Well, listen, keep the thing going until you can get your license, drive on out there, and see if you can keep something floating.

12:18 Guest I have a bottle of hand cream.

12:19 Drew Yeah. It's not likely to go very far. The proximity distance is a big issue at that age. Huge.

12:25 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah. And you know, it's funny, we can all, I was just thinking about car. I remember when you had cars that were such pieces of ass, they only had a certain range to them.

12:38 Guest I drove up here today.

12:39 Adam Right.

12:41 Guest Motivate.

12:42 Adam I mean, you could make it to work, but not to Vegas. That was that ride.

12:46 Guest You'd be pushing your luck, extra water, extra tires, band-aids, everything else.

12:51 Adam One of my greatest moves ever was borrowing my sister's Dodge Dart to go to Tijuana with four guys. And I am not exaggerating at all. I blew up the car about San Juan, about Campestrano out there, about three quarters of the way, left the car, got another car, ended up going to Tijuana anyway. And I came back and my sister was like, where's my car? And I said, I gave her the $40 that they paid to junk the car. And that was it. I should really do something nice for her. Yeah. You know, the car, you know, I pulled one of those better me than you. You know, you could have been trapped by the side of the highway. But yeah. Lauren?

13:31 Hey.

13:31 Adam You're 14?

13:32 Caller Yeah. What's up?

13:35 I just got to say, Adam, you made a really big influence on my life in second grade as Mr. Birchham.

13:41 Adam Oh, thank you.

13:42 Drew In second grade.

13:43 Adam You know, it's weird, by the way, we just punched your thing on. My sister's name is Lauren.

13:47 Drew It is weird.

13:48 Adam Just got done telling me about blowing up her car.

13:51 I remember you talked about how she used to spell Lauren with a Y.

13:54 Adam She tried it, but I would have none of it. I'm the DI., the Corolla family. Somebody's gotta be in charge. I was like, are you high? No way.

14:03 Drew It's a freak show name.

14:04 Guest It's a freak show name.

14:05 Adam All right, what's going on there, Lauren, with an E?

14:08 Yeah, a couple of friends of mine and I wanted to know why guys like to jack off in tube socks.

14:15 Adam Ian or...

14:16 Guest I never use a tube sock.

14:17 Guest I think that's a big myth.

14:18 Adam Yeah.

14:18 Guest Oh, no, wait a minute.

14:19 Guest Let's take a poll.

14:20 Drew Mr. Corolla.

14:21 Adam Yeah.

14:22 Is it only the mess thing? Because if you think about it, don't you think it will hurt a little bit, be a little scratchy?

14:28 Adam Oh, no, no. The guys don't do it in tube socks. They do it on tube socks.

14:33 Guest They're using the tube socks to clean up afterwards.

14:36 Drew That's what she's saying. She doesn't understand that.

14:38 Guest That's a myth, Lauren. That's a myth.

14:40 Drew It's just available cloth.

14:42 Adam Right.

14:43 Drew That's white.

14:43 Guest Tube socks, blanket, pants, whatever they get their hands on.

14:46 Guest T-shirt.

14:47 Adam Right. Look at the tube sock as a mop, not an orifice. Yeah.

14:52 Guest It's an accessory.

14:53 Drew This is an important detail for you to have on mind, though. 14, so.

14:57 Adam All right, Lauren.

14:57 Drew Nice. Okay, thank you. All right, Lauren.

14:59 Adam Stop thinking about what guys do with tube socks.

15:01 Drew I'm glad we can answer those kinds of questions, though.

15:03 Adam Make me feel guilty.

15:04 Drew What happened to my life?

15:05 Adam Amy?

15:06 Hey.

15:06 Adam Hey, you're 14, too. What's going on?

15:09 Caller I just recently said I'm stuck with my boyfriend, and I want to know if I can get birth control without my parents knowing.

15:16 Drew You're in Illinois?

15:17 Caller Yeah.

15:19 Drew I believe Planned Parenthood at 14 can do that in most states. You have to check the local Planned Heritage. Let me give you a phone number, okay?

15:26 Adam Well, hold on. Let me talk to her while she grabs a pen. You got a pen, Amy?

15:30 Caller Yeah.

15:30 Adam Wow.

15:31 Drew 1-800-230-PLAN.

15:36 What?

15:38 Drew 2-30-PLAN.

15:40 Caller Okay.

15:41 Adam How old's your boyfriend?

15:42 Caller He's going to be 14 and like.

15:44 Adam Oh, he's 13. He's getting laid. Really?

15:49 Caller Yeah.

15:49 Adam Oh, I hate that. Yeah. Why so early?

15:53 I don't know.

15:55 Adam All right. That's a good answer.

15:57 Drew But at least she's trying to get birth control.

15:58 Adam All right. Yeah. Get that birth control, though.

16:03 Drew What was the phone number again?

16:04 Guest Is your dad a Marine?

16:05 What?

16:06 Guest Is your dad a Marine?

16:07 No.

16:08 Guest You're lucky.

16:09 Caller Yeah.

16:10 Drew What was the phone number I gave you?

16:12 Caller Yeah.

16:12 Drew What was it?

16:13 Caller One eight hundred two three oh plan.

16:15 Drew There you go.

16:16 Adam Call them. No sex until you get on that birth control. All right.

16:20 Drew Or condoms.

16:21 Adam All right. All right. Very, very casual. I wish when I was in I was going to say high school, but junior high because Amy's 14, I wish there were women out there who just took that very casual approach to sex. Now, it was a big to do back then.

16:35 Drew Do you want to explore with her why she's so...

16:38 Adam All right. Amy.

16:41 Guest She's having sex.

16:43 Adam She's giving it up to a 13-year-old guy too.

16:45 Guest She's having sex right now.

16:47 Adam She's using the piece of paper she wrote the number on, his birth control. John.

16:53 Yeah.

16:54 Adam John, turn your radio down.

16:56 All right.

16:56 Adam All right. You're on with the drill instructors from Boot Camp, Fox, Wednesday night. Go ahead.

17:01 All right. Well, every time I have sex and... Well, every... Hello?

17:09 Drew Yeah. What's up?

17:10 All right. Well, every time I have sex and I go to the bathroom, after we get done having sex and I urinate, the white blood or pink stuff comes out.

17:18 Drew Is that the only time that you urinate blood just after having had sex?

17:22 Yeah.

17:23 Drew Is there blood in the semen?

17:25 A little bit.

17:26 Drew Why haven't you had that evaluated?

17:28 I don't know.

17:29 Drew All right. How long has it been going on for?

17:31 About two months.

17:33 Drew Two months. Yes. Yeah.

17:34 Guest Hello, Bryan. I got a clue, buddy.

17:36 Drew The time to get that checked out, John. There's a lot of things that can do that. I'm presuming this is really just blood in the semen and not in the urine so much. And actually, the blood in the semen, believe it or not, is a much less serious issue than blood in the urine. Yeah. I think you're just sort of flushing. Yeah. I think you're just sort of flushing the bloody semen out.

17:52 Adam You drop a load of Thousand Island, you gotta talk to somebody about it.

17:57 Drew You should, but it can be apodidymitis, it can be, it can be, you know, varicose cells and things that aren't that big a deal, but it can be tumor too. But blood in the urine is time, that needs to be checked out immediately.

18:09 I need to go to the doctor.

18:10 Guest Uh, yeah.

18:13 Drew Can you straighten him out, please? Say what I've always wanted to say to our colleagues.

18:17 Guest Hey, Freak Show, wake up.

18:19 Guest Hey, John, how old are you? 19. You're 19 years old. You should have figured this out about six years ago. When you're bleeding, it's usually unusual, especially in that area. Go get yourself checked out. Do yourself a favor.

18:30 Drew I see people, guys, but man in particular, they don't, they figure.

18:33 Guest They try to suck it up.

18:34 Drew No, the deal is, here's the thinking. It's gonna go away. And if it goes away, I'm fine. It's no big deal. And if it's something awful, I'm gonna die. I don't care. I don't know about it. That's sort of where the guy's thinking go, you know?

18:46 Adam Do you really think there's even thinking involved with that process?

18:49 Drew Sometimes.

18:50 Adam I don't know.

18:51 Guest I got blood coming out of there. I'm worried. I'm gonna see somebody.

18:54 Adam Listen, our callers treat their junk like a rental car. They really do. They just, no maintenance. They're never gonna pop the hood. They just drive, drive, drive until they got to turn it in. Nothing. Just the way you drive a rental car. You're not topping off any fluids or anything, are you? Just drive the hell out of it.

19:13 Guest That's the way they drive, hit the gas.

19:15 Guest Rosie?

19:17 Caller Hello?

19:18 Adam You're 17?

19:19 Caller Yeah.

19:19 Adam What's up?

19:21 Caller For almost like the past two weeks, I've been having like brownish red discharge coming from my vagina. And I was wondering if it was an SPD. It could be one.

19:31 Drew And you're sexually active?

19:32 Caller Yeah.

19:32 Drew Could it just be discharge? I mean, some women have discharge sort of throughout the cycle. Did you start a birth control pill or anything?

19:38 Caller Yeah.

19:39 Drew Yeah, it may just be mid-cycle bleeding from that.

19:41 Caller Oh, really? Because it doesn't really look like blood.

19:44 Adam Yeah, but anything that turns out to be something of color is blood, isn't it?

19:48 Drew Yeah. And it may just be a slight bleeding throughout the... Again, is this your first month on that pill?

19:53 Caller Yeah.

19:53 Drew It's real common for there to be bleeding.

19:55 Caller Oh, okay. Okay. Thank you.

19:57 Drew Okay.

19:57 Bye-bye.

19:58 Adam Wow. You just told the guy to go into the emergency room. You told her not to worry about it.

20:03 Guest And they're probably both having sex with each other.

20:05 Guest They call from the same phone.

20:07 Drew The vagina is sort of like consulting with some sort of oracle. It doesn't always make sense.

20:11 Adam Okay. All right. Jeremy is now on line three. Jeremy, you're 14. What's going on?

20:17 Caller Yeah. Can I talk to one of the drill instructors?

20:19 Adam Here they are.

20:20 Guest Bring it on, Jeremy.

20:21 Caller All right. When I get older, I'm probably going to go into the Marines.

20:25 Guest As you should be.

20:28 Caller I want to know, should I go to the ROTC program or what?

20:32 Drew Or should I just go right into the Marines, to go to school in the Marines?

20:35 Guest Well, are you talking about the ROTC program in high school and then go into the Marine Corps or you want to continue it into college? Well, I can tell you what. Coming from an enlisted guy, the 10 years is an enlisted Marine. There's two routes you can go. You can go to ROTC in college and they'll pay for your whole college but you got to give the Marine Corps for four years so it might be the better route and you can be an officer and you get paid a lot more and you get treated a lot better than enlisted guys do but on the same side, if you want to be an enlisted guy, it's more of a gungy kind of guys world thing.

21:12 Adam Well, why do ROTC if you're going to enlist?

21:16 Guest Well, some people do it in high school but why high school? If he's talking about ROTC in high school, basically it's training for the future. If you have a foundation before you go in the Marine Corps, you're just enhanced that much more and you can do greater things once you get there. It's the fundamentals that are important. They teach you all those kinds of things. So, it's John, right? Or Jeremy? Jeremy. Yeah, it's a great program. If you get involved with it, you learn a lot of the fundamentals. You learn history and traditions and it's a good program. Jump on it.

21:46 Guest Go to college and be an officer.

21:48 Caller Yeah, and then after that, after I get out of the Marines, I wanted to go to Humboldt University and be a forest ranger.

21:56 Adam You're very ambitious.

21:57 Guest You're going to be an astronaut too?

21:58 Guest Do it all because you can't.

21:59 Go for it.

22:00 Adam Don't go to Humboldt. You're going to open a bong shop and drop out. You'll never get anywhere.

22:06 Guest Just go to Harvard.

22:07 Adam Go to Harvard.

22:08 Guest One step at a time, Jeremy.

22:09 Drew You're from Boston?

22:10 Adam Yeah. Semper Fi, buddy.

22:12 Guest Motivate. See you in 10 years.

22:15 Adam What's the difference between the pay for an enlisted guy after he gets out of boot camp and an officer, a new officer?

22:24 Guest It's probably around $1,000 a month.

22:27 Adam Really? That's the difference?

22:29 Guest Yes.

22:30 Adam Wow.

22:30 Guest It's a lot more money officers get.

22:32 Adam What do you start out as an officer if you went to college?

22:36 Guest Second lieutenant.

22:37 Adam Second lieutenant's restart? How long does it take you to make lieutenant and move it up?

22:40 Guest First lieutenant about two years and captain...

22:42 Guest Second lieutenant about two years. Three to five years.

22:45 Guest Yeah. Four or five years.

22:46 Adam I don't know where colonel is, but that's where I stop. I like colonel.

22:50 Guest Colonel sounds good, doesn't it?

22:51 Adam Yeah.

22:53 Guest Colonel's one step below general.

22:56 Adam Yeah.

22:56 Guest See, I stop at colonel.

22:57 Guest I think they can give you the guaranteed colonel program if you enlisted right now.

23:01 Guest The man Jack Nicklaus, he was a colonel.

23:03 Guest Yeah. Colonel's good.

23:04 Adam And the colonel, don't you get those things that hang from your shoulders like that? Or is that something I'm thinking of Gilbert and Sullivan thing?

23:13 Guest Two trumpet players follow you wherever you go too.

23:15 Adam Really?

23:15 Guest Yeah. You're the man.

23:16 Guest And they play you theme music.

23:17 Adam Yeah. I like that. The colonel. And then they start putting the th in front of it. The colonel. All right. We will take ourselves a little break. We got some drill instructors from Boot Camp on Wednesday night, nine o'clock Fox. When we come back, we'll speak to James 13. Never had an erection. Has pubic hair. Wants to know what's wrong. We'll tell him after this.

23:37 Caller You know what I'm saying, Adam and Dr. Drew, we'll be right back on Love Line.

23:42 Caller Love Line on 94.7 NRK is brought to you by Car Toys and by the Cobalt Lounge.

24:04 Caller Hey, everyone, this is Tommy and Pamela Lee.

24:07 And you're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. All the sexual information you could possibly need.

24:14 Caller Yeah.

24:16 Adam I think they're having sex when they cut that line. We are here with a couple of the drill instructors from Boot Camp Wednesday nights on Fox. Nine o'clock, Leo McSweeney and Tony Rosenbum are both here. Both, both good guys, you know, I don't want to, I'm too tired to anger these guys. And even if I had a full night's sleep, I wouldn't do it anyway. I was thinking, I was thinking about Leo. I hear him saying Harvard all the time. And I thought Harvard should move out of mass. It really should have been. He's at Boston. Too many eyes in Harvard. It's like somebody put it there comically.

24:56 Guest What do you want to call our school?

24:57 Adam Let's call it Harvard. Harvard. Harvard.

25:01 Guest Let's call it Harvard.

25:02 Adam H-A-V-A-D.

25:03 Guest Fenway Park. Same thing with the R.

25:06 Adam Listen, there's plenty of schools that could be there. I mean, no problem with UCLA, right?

25:12 Guest Yeah, nothing. There's not a Harvard there, right?

25:14 Adam We're going to move it right over there. All right, let's see. When we left off, we're going to speak to James who's 13.

25:23 Drew We're asking these guys to yell at us during the break, and they were talking about how ridiculous it is to just try to do that spontaneously, just yell. It's like, hey, Adam, be funny.

25:31 Adam Yeah, they need, well, wait a minute, I can do that. No, no. No, they need motivation.

25:36 Guest We need one of the callers to really piss us off.

25:38 Adam Right.

25:39 Guest I'm sure it'll happen tonight sometime.

25:40 Guest Mom, I'm so mad at you. I am so mad at you, Mom.

25:47 Adam Hey, Anderson, you have to humiliate me on a constant basis that way.

25:51 Guest It's part of the professional haze.

25:52 Adam It's so humiliating. James?

25:54 Yeah.

25:54 Adam Go ahead. What's your problem?

25:56 Caller Hey, you guys, I'm really sorry, but I lied about my question.

25:59 Caller I just wanted to get-

26:02 So awesome.

26:03 What? What?

26:04 Drew Say it again.

26:04 Caller I lied about the question, but I just really wanted to talk to you guys. So awesome.

26:09 Drew I see.

26:09 Caller I just wanted to say a quick hi to you guys, and Adam, you're just the best. I swear to God, and-

26:14 You are an asshole.

26:15 Adam Thank you.

26:16 Caller And Drew, you're a genius.

26:17 Caller I swear to God, I'm sorry.

26:19 Caller I just wanted to say hi to you guys.

26:20 Drew Hi, James.

26:20 Adam All right. I was thinking about sick of my boys on James, but he kept with the flattery. It's hard to get out of the guy.

26:29 Guest He was kissing your butt.

26:30 Guest He didn't say nothing about us all.

26:31 Guest Where are you? Still there, James?

26:32 Adam Hello. I'll get him back.

26:34 Guest Hold on.

26:34 Adam James.

26:36 No, no.

26:37 Guest Yeah, you better be running.

26:38 Adam Just when the guys are getting ahead of steam. Kevin?

26:42 Yeah.

26:42 Adam You're 24.

26:44 Caller Yeah.

26:44 Adam What's up?

26:45 Caller Oh, man. I can't believe I got through to you guys.

26:47 Adam What's up?

26:48 Caller Awesome. Hey, first of all, I'd just like to say Semper Fi.

26:51 Guest Motivate.

26:53 All right.

26:55 Adam Wait, do you answer Semper Fi with Motivate?

26:59 Guest Marines have their own language. Almost, you know, it's kind of grunts and groans and all right, motivate, kill.

27:04 Guest Yeah, it means a lot of things to people that understand it and not a damn thing to people that don't.

27:08 Adam I just I knew the Semper Fi. I didn't know the Motivate came after it.

27:11 Drew Is that part of the tradition? Do each of the camps have their own language?

27:15 Guest You pick up different.

27:16 Guest I can be answered with a bunch of things.

27:17 Guest Semper Fi is the Marine Corps motto.

27:19 Drew Yeah.

27:19 Guest Motivate is just something you answer. Hey, how you doing? Motivate. That's outstanding. Or kill. Hey, we'll see you motivate. All right. Later. You know, you got to fill in the blank.

27:29 Caller All right.

27:29 Adam What's up, Kevin?

27:30 Caller I just I first of all, I just like to know if were they in San Diego or PI when they were drill instructors?

27:38 Guest San Diego, both of San Diego.

27:39 Guest But I was a recruit in the island.

27:42 Caller I that's that's where I went through in First Battalion. I was just wondering out there. I went to the Stumps out there for Cacks and everything, but it was a pretty cool place out there.

27:52 Guest What did you do, Kevin?

27:54 Caller My question is, you know, I hear about the Berisha and everything out there to kind of improve the sex drive of your, you know, girlfriend or or your other half or whatever. And pretty much my wife just laid there like a blow up doll.

28:09 Drew She's always been that way or just something recent?

28:11 Caller Well, yeah, she's pretty much been that way. Well, we've been married for about six years. It's kind of funny we I came back. I came home on leave and got married. Didn't realize what what I was getting into because I hadn't lived with her and then I moved her down to base housing. And oh, man, I was in for it.

28:28 Drew What what happened?

28:29 Caller But well, you know, she's just a little attitudinous.

28:32 Guest And is she fooling around with the other Jaiheads?

28:35 Caller Oh, no. OK.

28:36 Guest All right.

28:37 Caller I'm a pretty big guy.

28:38 Guest That happens. So you go overseas. You know the deal, brother.

28:41 Caller Oh, yeah. I know all about it.

28:43 Adam All right. Hold on. I can't put them on hold because it's well, actually, his line got better as soon as I decided to put them on hold. But I guess he's calling for myself.

28:50 Drew But he seems to imply this is sort of some sort of biological problem. And at that age, it really is not. It's usually something far more interpersonal or psychological.

29:00 Adam Well, also, you know, he did he. You got to motivate. You can't, pardon me, guys, but you can't yell at a woman, motivate her by yelling at her, telling her to move. You got to trick them into moving in bed. You know, you really do.

29:16 Drew A lot of guys have real misconceptions about where women's heads are at sexually. And they're about being cherished and being loved and being, you know, sort of, I'm sorry, I know I'm obsessive. It's disturbing, very disturbing, Leo.

29:29 But, but, but. No wonder I'm not married.

29:31 Guest He's like, I don't understand.

29:32 Drew Yeah, and Adam, I've often said, that guys that sort of really play up to that, we sort of don't trust even, because they seem like they're manipulating women. Yeah.

29:40 Guest I hate those guys.

29:41 Drew I hate those guys.

29:41 Adam Me too, I make us look bad.

29:43 Drew Yeah, but the reality is he's got to at least pay attention to that, those kinds of needs. And it's not what he wants. What he's looking for is not what she's looking for.

29:52 Adam Right.

29:52 Drew And he has to pay attention to what we're seeing.

29:54 Guest But don't you initially need that animal attraction and just feed off that and try to keep that going?

29:59 Drew Yeah, but after about six months. I think it's great when people get that.

30:02 Guest Has it been six years or six months?

30:03 Drew Six years.

30:03 Guest Six years.

30:04 Drew But usually after about six months, particularly with women, that stuff tends to die out. Usually.

30:08 Guest Well he married her when she was 18 too. I mean she's 18, 24, I mean things change.

30:13 Guest Life's changing hard.

30:14 Drew Well there's a lot up with his wife. I mean she gets moved out. All of a sudden she's starting to have problems. She's backed out, behavior issues.

30:21 Guest It happens all the time in our business.

30:22 Adam All right, let's see. Kevin?

30:24 Caller Yeah, sorry about the line. I'm on my cell phone.

30:26 Adam Okay, but listen, if you want her to perform for you, you're going to have to entice her.

30:34 Guest Was she ever good?

30:35 Caller It's not like I just, you know, that's just like bam, bam, thank you ma'am. I mean I do all kinds of stuff for her. You know, I do, you know, I get in the heat of passion and everything.

30:43 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no.

30:44 Adam Not in the bedroom.

30:46 Guest Not in the bedroom.

30:48 Drew There's a book out there called His Needs, Her Needs where a guy went on to analyze exactly what women want for men and they want things like time spent, you know, communicating, talking, affection, being shared. So guys like, they go, this kind of sex, that kind of sex, that kind of sex.

31:04 Adam You got to pretend to listen and care when you're not in the bedroom so you can get some in the bedroom. I'm writing a book right now called My Needs, More of My Needs.

31:13 Drew You know, can you autograph that for me? Men really need to feel desired by their partner. They do?

31:20 Adam I don't.

31:21 Guest Kevin, was she ever good in the rack?

31:22 Guest Help, it escalates things.

31:24 Guest Was she ever good in the rack, Kevin?

31:27 Caller Actually, no.

31:29 Guest She's never been good in the rack.

31:31 Caller Not really.

31:32 Guest You were her first probably, right?

31:34 Caller We kind of got married at a young age.

31:35 Adam Do you have any kids? I have two.

31:38 Caller All right.

31:39 Adam Well, now you got to work on it.

31:40 Caller You, you, you.

31:42 Adam Okay.

31:42 Guest Pac-Man just died.

31:43 Adam I don't know, therapy, conversation, whatever it is. You know what you should do? Ask her what she wants, ask her what she needs. Yeah. And start giving it to her.

31:51 Drew Strip for her.

31:52 Guest Stay motivated.

31:53 Drew It's not a physical thing. You think, you think, he thinks it's the heat of passion. It's not about that.

31:57 Adam Right. Well, that's what guys do. Guys like, she ain't into this. I'm going to start humping faster.

32:01 Drew Yeah. I'm going to double down.

32:03 Adam Yeah. Double time.

32:04 Guest It doesn't work.

32:06 Adam Ezra?

32:07 Yes, sir.

32:08 Adam You're 17. What's up?

32:10 Caller Indeed. All right. I've got a friend and he's, he does this thing, this drug called DXM, which is sounds like officer. Sure. Yeah. He says that it's like let's him get thinking done faster. He's a really intellectual type.

32:26 Drew It does what?

32:27 Caller He says let's him get thinking done faster.

32:29 Drew He's a mess.

32:30 Caller Okay. Anyway, so there's the first concern of mine. He's been doing this for coming up on two years now. He's not, well, he claims he's not addicted and I'm not one to say because he never does it around me.

32:41 Drew I've never seen DXM addiction, but it's in the drug of abuse and we don't know exactly how dangerous it is, but it's a hallucinogenic and all the hallucinogenics seem to be what we might call neurotoxic. They're dangerous.

32:55 Caller What?

32:55 Adam Is he on the Grand Prix circuit? Why does he have to think so goddamn fast?

33:00 Guest He's on the chess team.

33:00 Caller The way he is, I don't know. Okay, well, the question goes further. There's that and I'm wondering what the concerns of it, and then, well, okay, it's both in the different drugs. He says he's done cocaine four times, and he's taken acid twice now. And he said that he does the acid to reverse the effects of the DXM because the DXM, where it allows you to think faster and whatnot, it wears on your body and makes you have to sleep more and all that sort of thing. And so I'm wondering what the negative effects with the warning signs of cocaine and acid are.

33:30 Drew Cocaine, the thing with cocaine is that it's very addictive. And that's the main thing with cocaine. There are some medical things to worry about, but not used regularly. It's the big issues that can lead to addiction. With ecstasy, LSD rather, again, you're dealing with the neurotoxin. And this guy is a real...

33:47 Caller It's not LSD, it's acid.

33:48 Drew The same thing.

33:49 Caller Oh, okay.

33:49 Drew The same thing. And this guy is intellectualizing. He's an expert. I don't know how many years he's been in medical school, what kind of residency he did, but he does not know what the F he's talking about. He's looking for any reason to use drugs. And it's all a bunch of BS. An unfortunate thing is very, very intellectual guys. I do what this Caltech all the time. I have to consult with a lot of kids over at Caltech. They can't teach them anything. They're experts. Their bodies are a big beaker that they're going to experiment in. And it's just simply not true. They have to have seen the effects of this drug in hundreds of millions of people that appreciate it.

34:25 Adam All right, point out, sir. Listen, Ezra, why are you saving this guy?

34:30 Caller Well, he's one of my best friends. He's been one of my best friends for some time.

34:33 Adam Well, tell him if he wants to remain being one of your best friends, he's got to cool it with the drugs.

34:36 Caller Yep.

34:37 Drew Otherwise, he's going to lose you.

34:38 Caller Well, what can they do to him? I mean, what can acid and cocaine do to him other than just being addictive and stuff?

34:44 Drew Well, it's typically...

34:45 Adam Hold on. You've got to get yourself a woman.

34:48 Drew Yeah.

34:48 Guest Pull him to the side, rough him up a little bit, give it to him straight.

34:51 Drew Typically, there's chronic mood disturbances and personality changes. A lot of different things happen.

34:56 Adam Ezra.

34:57 Caller Yes, sir.

34:57 Adam You a virgin?

34:58 Caller Yes, sir.

34:59 Adam Yeah. Shocking.

35:00 Caller I think all the time.

35:01 Adam Shocking.

35:02 Guest Geez. You got a crush on this guy?

35:03 Adam What's going on?

35:04 Pull me over with a feather.

35:05 Caller Shocking.

35:07 Adam Ezra, you've got to get some tail.

35:10 Drew The only way that you're actually going to change this guy's behavior is if you understand his drug use is going to cause a great loss in his life. If you are one of those losses and if he feels that loss, you may have an impasse.

35:18 Adam I can always tell the difference between guys who are getting laid in high school and guys who aren't. First off, it's the sound of their voice. Because this guy, you sound like Barry White when you're getting laid.

35:28 Guest These balls haven't dropped yet.

35:30 Guest Right.

35:31 Adam That's number one. Number two is you get overly concerned with stuff that really, if this guy was getting laid, he'd be like, hey junkie, there's a kilo over there. I got to get some tail.

35:39 Guest Get lost.

35:40 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I don't say it that often, but once in a while, I know there's a guy that just needs to find a woman and get tangled up in her for a while and stay out of his friend's nest.

35:52 Caller All right.

35:52 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. Very good with that.

35:56 Yeah, we'll be back.

36:19 Caller This is the show known as Loveline. With your hosts, Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

36:24 Caller 94, Loveline, 7, and I, Drew.

36:33 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Leo McSweeney and Tony Rosenbum are both here, both drill instructors, both on the hit series Boot Camp, Wednesday nights, nine o'clock on Fox. And we will be yelling at somebody before the night is through, but it's, you know, we're waiting for something organic.

36:57 Guest Some schmuck.

36:58 Adam We've had a couple of nibbles, but nothing. And like I said, we don't want to stage it. We want the guys to actually...

37:05 Guest If you're a goofball, feel free to call.

37:08 Drew Were any of the recruits on the show sort of paying the ass for lack of a better way of putting it?

37:13 Guest Did you say any or all?

37:15 Guest They all are.

37:17 Guest We just treat them like recruits. In our eyes, they're all knuckleheads anyway, regardless if they're good to go.

37:22 Drew Got it.

37:22 Guest You know, you don't show any favoritism. They're just recruits.

37:24 Drew Got it.

37:25 Adam And what do you guys think about the sort of, that kind of rehab, for lack of a better word, for a lot of screwed up teenagers?

37:33 Guest Scared straight kind of programs?

37:34 Adam Yeah. I mean, where they put them in a boot camp type environment and really whip the crap out of them.

37:39 Guest You know, I haven't been through one. I've seen a couple of them and I like the concept of it.

37:43 Adam Yeah, me too.

37:44 Guest And done correctly, I think it'd be a great thing.

37:46 Adam Yeah, I absolutely do. I mean, you know, we're hopefully coming out of an era where we think we're supposed to coddle everyone. If there's some guy who's stepping out of line in school and beating up people and getting in trouble, we're supposed to tell him he's different, but it's good, it's good. You're creative.

38:05 Caller The blood is art.

38:07 Adam Now, listen, I believe that every guy, especially between the age of 13 and 21, could use a little ass-whippin once in a while. Oh, yeah. I mean, beating the guy up, but letting him know he ain't the king of the world. All right.

38:25 Guest John.

38:28 Adam John. Caller John.

38:30 Guest Hello, John.

38:32 Caller Yo, what's up?

38:32 Guest Well, speak up, John.

38:34 Caller Hey, what's going on?

38:35 Guest All right.

38:35 Caller Can you hear me?

38:36 Guest Giddy up.

38:37 Caller Hey. You're the funniest guy in the world.

38:41 Thank you.

38:42 Guest John, you have a question?

38:43 Caller What?

38:44 Adam All right.

38:45 Drew They might think of you.

38:46 Adam They're getting close.

38:47 Guest Get to the point, John.

38:48 Guest You're wasting our time.

38:50 Caller Okay. Well, I have a question for you, Drill Tracker.

38:53 Guest Send it.

38:55 Caller Should I get my ass plugged before I go into the ring?

39:00 Guest You should drive up here right now so I can plug your ass.

39:02 Guest I'll tell you what.

39:03 Guest I'll put my foot up, you ass, you freak.

39:06 Guest Well, you got another question, weirdo?

39:08 Guest Bring it on.

39:08 Guest Hurry up. Hurry up. Get out of my face right now. Push, push, push, you nasty thing.

39:18 Guest Well, hang up.

39:20 Adam All right. All right.

39:21 Guest That was good.

39:22 Adam Did you guys?

39:23 Drew They get in the zone.

39:24 Adam Well, you know what they're like? You know, I was I wouldn't impress the drill instructors. I was a ceramics major in high school.

39:32 Nice, nice.

39:33 Adam And you'd put a pot on the wheel and it'd get going and it'd get a little bit out of line. And with each revolution, it'd get a little more out of line. But it would spaz in a second. It'd go from like wobbling to flying across the room in just a couple of seconds.

39:48 Guest That's what you guys do.

39:50 Adam You go from sort of mildly irritated to spaz out real fast. That's what you want.

39:56 Guest It's nice being compared to ceramics. Ceramics are nice.

40:00 Adam Amber, you're 17.

40:03 Caller What's up? I'm at this guy through some friends of mine. I never actually met him. I talked to him on the phone and all he ever talks about is sex.

40:12 Drew That would make him male.

40:15 Guest Warm blooded.

40:16 Drew He and?

40:18 Caller I just want to know why.

40:20 Guest He says he's horny.

40:24 Drew What is your expectation?

40:28 Caller Well, at least talk about something other than sex, you know.

40:32 Adam Have you met this guy?

40:33 Caller No, I've never actually met him.

40:34 Adam Just over the phone?

40:35 Caller Yeah.

40:36 Adam Well, he's whacking off.

40:37 Caller Well, he's a dork.

40:39 Drew He's a what?

40:40 Caller He's a dork.

40:41 Drew Why do you talk to him?

40:42 Guest Move on.

40:43 Guest I can guarantee he's all talk. I can almost guarantee it. He's trying to impress you with all that talk about sex. And if you met him, he would probably be like, uh, a goofball.

40:55 Guest If he bothers you and that's all he talks about, why are you dealing with him?

40:58 Move on.

40:59 Adam Why are you dealing with him? Why do you keep talking to him?

41:02 Caller Because I don't want to be mean. I don't want to do. Are you hot? What?

41:06 Guest Are you hot?

41:06 Caller No.

41:07 Guest Sure. Are you hot?

41:09 Caller Yeah.

41:09 Guest Describe yourself.

41:11 Caller Yeah.

41:11 Guest Describe yourself.

41:13 Guest Quicker. Faster. Come on.

41:15 I'm cute.

41:16 Drew Well, you're fat. Drew, why are you wasting your time?

41:18 Adam Why are you putting up with this?

41:19 Drew Why do you waste your time with this?

41:23 Guest Are you a pork puff? Yes or no?

41:25 Guest You don't have to be afraid to speak your mind. If you don't want to deal with the guy, be honest with yourself, be honest with him.

41:31 Guest Especially 17. God, girls at 17 are ruthless.

41:33 Guest You have a lot of options. Explore.

41:35 Caller He's 19.

41:36 Guest And you're 17?

41:37 Caller Yeah.

41:37 Adam All right. But listen, if you are a hot girl at 17, that is equivalent to enlisting and going right to Colonel.

41:46 Guest There you go.

41:46 Adam It really is.

41:47 Guest She is a Colonel.

41:48 Guest Huge guy.

41:48 Guest She is a Colonel if she's hot and she's 17.

41:50 Adam No training, no boot camp, no ROTC.

41:53 Guest Battlefield promotion, boom.

41:56 Adam Right up to the top office. Drew, are we right?

42:00 Drew Yeah. You're talking about the power that women have in this society for being beautiful.

42:05 Guest A young high girl.

42:06 Adam Why is she putting up with Johnny Jackoff on the marathon phone? She is a men in person. Now, there's something wrong with her self-esteem or her or something.

42:14 Guest Yeah. She's a pork puff.

42:15 Guest Dump up and move on.

42:16 Adam That's right. Silver? Yeah. You're 22?

42:19 Caller Yeah, I'm 22.

42:20 Adam You're a big fan of boot camp?

42:22 Caller Oh, sure am.

42:23 Guest All right.

42:24 Caller All right. Who am I speaking with?

42:26 Guest Drone Strut to McSweeney and Drone Strut to Rosenbum.

42:28 Caller Number five, brother.

42:29 Guest How's it going, man?

42:30 Caller Motivate.

42:30 Guest What's going on, Silver?

42:32 Caller Yeah, because I'm actually on 0311 and I drove up San Bruno, California.

42:36 Guest All right.

42:37 Caller So yeah, I mean, like you got your guys' show is awesome, man.

42:40 Guest Thank you.

42:40 Caller It's kick ass. But yeah, so I'm going to use McSweeney's word. Like all these little freak show kids calling in right now, man. I think these kids got too much time on their hands. And if it was totally up to me, I mean, they had to make it a law where they send all these kids to the corps, man, and they'll come out straight. You know, I think they just got way too much time on their hands.

42:58 Drew That's what we're kind of talking about. Are you ready for president?

43:00 Guest What are you doing now, Silver? Where are you? What are you doing?

43:03 Caller What happened was I'm in the reserves right now. I'm in 03 and now I just go to UC Berkeley now. So, I mean, it's like-

43:12 Adam Wow.

43:12 You pansy.

43:13 Adam Pretty versatile guy. Yeah.

43:15 Caller So, the corps, it's good because it pays for school. It'll take a lot of time off these kids' hands.

43:22 Drew Are you in any way sort of out in up there at Berkeley in the sort of pretty liberal environment? Are you sort of outcast by being an ROTC?

43:29 Caller No, no, no. Did you say ROTC or?

43:31 Drew Or, is that what you say?

43:32 Guest He's a reserve.

43:34 Caller I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not the Mustangs, man. I'm not no ROTC, but I mean, I just, you know, I mean, a lot of people are anti-military over here.

43:42 Drew That's what I'm saying. Do you have a problem? Is it, is it, do you have to hide?

43:46 Guest I can't understand that at all.

43:47 Caller No, no, no. You know how they are. I mean, this is berserically, man. And it's like a lot of these people.

43:52 Guest Berserically.

43:52 Guest It's cool to hate the military if you go to Berkeley. Yeah, yeah.

43:56 Caller They're up here. They're like, you know, peace and all. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that.

43:59 Guest I never used to hate them.

44:00 Guest I just walk around with that positive attitude and prove them different.

44:03 Adam Hey, you know, I just, I want to ask you a question because it's something that's been rolling around in my head for years. And I think I have an answer, but you guys can tell me how far is a click?

44:15 Drew How's a click?

44:15 Guest You know, it's usually a mile.

44:17 Adam Is it click? No, it's not. It's got to be less than a mile.

44:22 Guest It depends on what you're talking about.

44:23 Adam Really? A click? Yeah, okay. If you watch any good military movies, they'll go, we got a Panzer Division about 20 clicks up the road.

44:34 Guest It's a thousand yards.

44:36 Guest Is it a thousand?

44:37 Adam Yeah, that makes sense because military deals in yards, right? When they're shooting and stuff like that.

44:42 Drew A thousand yards is each click on the...

44:43 Guest No, just like on the land. You know, hey, where's your pause? I'm about three clicks from Hill 222.

44:51 Adam Three thousand yards.

44:52 Three thousand yards.

44:54 Adam Yeah. Yeah, so a thousand yards.

44:56 Guest I thought you were talking about like a high school click.

44:58 Adam No, no.

45:00 Guest That's when they start grouping together.

45:04 Guest We're a click league.

45:05 Adam So a click is like a sixth or fifth or sixth of a mile or something like that. Five thousand, five thousand something, six hundred something feet. How many yards a mile? Oh, that's feet. All right, I'm going to get to the bottom of this. But thank you for that. I've always wanted to know that. David?

45:25 Yes?

45:25 Adam You're 33.

45:26 Caller That's right.

45:27 Adam What is up?

45:28 Caller First of all, I want to say Drill Instructor McSweeney and Rosenbum. I watch boot camp. I am a former Marine. And Rosenbum, you are the most locked and cocked mofo I've ever seen. And you are a perfect example of what the United Marine Corps is.

45:43 Guest Motivate. Keep talking, man. You're motivating me. Keep going.

45:45 Caller Okay. My problem is about five years ago, it's not easy for me to talk about, but I had testicular cancer. I lost one of my testicles. And my question is this. I'm not stupid. I see that people bring their dogs to the veterinarians and they have their testicles removed. Yeah.

46:01 Drew Both of them. Both of them.

46:02 Caller They lay around and they do nothing, no motivation, that kind of thing. Well, that's kind of what's going on with me.

46:09 Drew David, that's when they removed both of the testicles.

46:12 Caller Okay, so...

46:12 Drew Okay, one testicle will function just fine. It will give you all the testosterone you need. There are a thousand other conditions, maybe ten thousand that can cause fatigue and lack of motivation.

46:23 Adam Right. There are ten clicks.

46:25 Caller Every time I try to talk about it, the doctor says, you know, it's nothing, don't worry about it.

46:29 Drew Well, it's because fatigue...

46:30 Caller No one really will address my question.

46:31 Drew Because fatigue is actually the most common complaint that comes into a doctor's office, and about 99 times out of 100, we can't do much with it. So you may be depraved.

46:39 Caller So lack of drive and motivation overall.

46:41 Drew That's depression. Do you smoke a lot of pot?

46:44 Caller No.

46:44 Drew Did you ever?

46:45 Caller Yes.

46:46 Drew Yeah. How long ago did you stop?

46:50 Caller Well, it's on and off, but it's nothing steady.

46:53 Drew Yeah, that's a typical pot symptom.

46:56 Adam Well, the guy's depressed, but he had one of his nuts lopped, one of his balls taken away.

47:03 Drew That should be a nod of envy.

47:04 Adam I know, but it's a convenience.

47:06 Guest Psychologically. It's like a manly absinthe, isn't it?

47:10 Guest I wonder if they put a-

47:11 Guest Stay motivated. Now you have it.

47:12 Adam David, did they put a fake one in there?

47:14 Guest Can they do that?

47:15 Adam No?

47:16 Guest Can they do that?

47:16 Adam What's wrong with that?

47:17 Guest Give me like a-

47:18 Drew Prothesis. Oh, yeah.

47:19 Guest Plastic wall.

47:20 Drew Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

47:21 Guest Why don't you do that, dude? Get like a plastic wall and you're like, good to go. You know, you got two nuts. It's only one cartridge is firing, though.

47:28 Caller I mean, you know, it's not it's not the motion of the ocean. You know what I'm saying?

47:33 Drew David, you let me tell you, you only need one. The boat. You only need one.

47:36 Adam The boat looks like crap. Forget about the ocean. All right, we're going to take ourselves a break. We'll be right back.

47:41 Giddy up. Um, back in a minute.

48:29 Adam I kind of screwed that up. Leo McSweeney and Tony Rosenbum are both here. Both DI's from Boot Camp, Wednesday Night, everybody, 9 o'clock on Fox. And I'll tell you, I like these guys, and that's not just radio talk. And Drew, I think you share the same attraction, which is the regular guy attraction. Yes, yes. I love a regular guy.

48:50 Guest So do we.

48:51 Adam Boy, do I love a regular guy. And here's what a lot of you guys don't realize, a lot of you girls. It's not about what kind of car you drive or how much money you make or anything like that. They're regular guys.

49:04 Drew Not in this business.

49:05 Adam I'm lucky enough because I work at The Man Show to employ some regular guys. Regular guys who are more concerned about the team that is playing in the town they used to live in than their current relationship. Those kind of guys.

49:19 Drew Priorities.

49:20 Adam Yes, the kind of guys who can prioritize. I just love a regular guy. And I work with the guys from Beaver Falls, like outside of Pittsburgh or something. Nothing better. I mean, the Penguins won the 7th game, this guy was on Cloud 9. On Cloud 9, the whole night.

49:40 Guest I hate the Fairweather fans and stuff like that. I mean, people tell me like, hey man, who's your baseball team? Who's your hockey team? I'm like, dude, I'm from Boston. I root for the Red Sox, the Patriots, the Celtics, and the Bruins. I don't root for somebody just because they're a front runner. And I think that's such a sign of having some gunge and rooting for what you grew up with. I hate these people, like, I like the Lakers, but I like the Yankees in baseball. Dude, two different coasts. You just want to push those guys to their hearts, explode.

50:13 Adam Right, yeah, and that's the other one too that people are very convenient about. Well, in basketball, in the 80s, I was a Bulls fan. I liked them in the 90s, the late 80s, early 90s. And in baseball, I'm Yankees. For basketball, I was with Boston for a while, and then I went over to Lakers, and now I'm with, what do you mean? You gotta like the team, whatever town you live in, that's your team.

50:36 Drew Hey, speaking of hearts exploding, what happened to the guy, the big guy, that was having troubles on your show?

50:41 Guest He had some weird stuff.

50:44 Guest You know, he was swollen up like a Post-Buried Doughboy.

50:46 Drew It was non-cardiomy?

50:47 Guest Well, they couldn't figure it out.

50:48 Guest You know what it was? It was his, the enzymes. The enzymes weren't clicking.

50:52 Drew Oh, he was having a, called a rhabdomyolysis. He was breaking down muscles, clogging his kidneys. I heard him talk a little bit about that.

50:58 Guest Yeah, he was a good guy, big heart, big, huge heart, worked his butt off.

51:02 Guest We were sad to see him go.

51:03 Guest He's a 300-pounder, so it was difficult for him.

51:06 Adam How is the chow in the Marines these days? Is it bad times over there?

51:12 Guest It's not too bad. It's not too bad. It's edible. It's a lot better than it used to be.

51:15 Guest Some days are good, some days are bad. Some days are good, some days are bad.

51:18 Adam Do they do that ass on a shingle? You mean, chip beef?

51:24 Yeah.

51:25 Guest The shingle?

51:26 Guest That's some good stuff though.

51:27 Adam I love that.

51:27 Guest I like that too.

51:28 Guest I can eat that every day.

51:29 Adam I miss that.

51:30 Guest I'll tell you.

51:30 Guest It'll clog your heart and you'll die.

51:32 Guest I don't care.

51:33 Adam I'll tell you what I'd like to work into my adult culinary rotation would be some of that ass on a shingle and the sloppy Joe. I'd like to see that make a comeback in my adult life too.

51:42 Guest Sloppy Joe does not get his just desserts. I mean.

51:45 Guest And let me tell you something.

51:47 Adam Taco Bell bugged out on the Bell Beefer about 20 years ago and that was as close as I could get to a sloppy Joe.

51:54 Drew Ranchito, Rancharito, and Churrito.

51:56 Adam The Bell Beaver was a bun with ground beef on it and that was as close as I could get to a sloppy Joe.

52:03 Guest So basically anything that you can package a heart attack, you like that, right?

52:07 Adam I would like to open a place called Strictly Chip Beef and Sloppy Joe's. Just nothing, Hut. I put Hut, the word Hut, at the end of it.

52:17 Guest I think it's God's law that every Catholic school has a couple of good sloppy Joe's. I mean, that's just how it goes. Walk into any good Catholic school, grade school, and they got sloppy Joe two times a week.

52:28 Adam Drew, you're down with the ass on a shingle.

52:31 Drew I don't know if I've ever had that.

52:32 Guest Chip beef, it's a gravy beef combination. It's delish. Put it over toast.

52:37 Guest You can actually kill your hot, slowing down as you eat it.

52:39 Drew That was a cake we just...

52:41 Adam Yeah, I'd say that's the all-time number one military food would be that. It is.

52:46 Guest Absolutely.

52:47 Adam Josh? Yeah. You're 16. What's up?

52:50 Caller Yeah, first of all, I just like to say what...

52:54 Adam Uh-oh. He's giving plugs, Val.

52:57 Guest Beat it, you crumb.

52:58 Guest You're done.

52:59 Adam All right. See you, Josh. These guys, you know, the other thing is...

53:04 Guest I'll give a plug to Thrush. They suck.

53:06 Adam Beat it. Tom?

53:10 Caller Yeah.

53:10 Adam You're 30. What's up?

53:12 Caller Yeah, I just got a question for the instructors there.

53:14 Guest What's up, Tom?

53:15 Caller How would I go about getting on the...

53:17 Caller If they have another one, how do you audition for that?

53:20 Guest For Boot Camp?

53:21 Caller Yes.

53:22 Drew To be a recruit?

53:23 Guest Yeah, there's a website. You can go onto fox.com or you can go onto lmnotv.com and there's... You can click on there and put down your information.

53:32 Guest You're not a former military, are you?

53:35 Caller Yes.

53:36 Guest They won't let you in.

53:36 Guest That's the only prerequisite, John, is no prior military experience.

53:40 Guest Okay, I got one more question.

53:42 Caller Now, is it true what they say about the Marines?

53:44 Caller Are they a part of the Navy? Do you guys work for the Navy?

53:48 Guest Yeah, we're the men's department.

53:49 Yeah, that's the way it is.

53:52 Caller Well, I just had to ask that question.

53:54 Guest We are a department of the Navy, very much separate, though.

53:59 Caller I mean, your paychecks do say department of the Navy, right?

54:02 Guest I say Kansas City, my man. Just like everyone else's.

54:06 Guest Yeah, the Marine Corps is a department of the Navy, and it's just that we come under that naval heading, as far as the ocean and hitting the beach and all that. It's like the Navy guys give us rides whenever we need to go fight somebody.

54:20 Guest Yeah, and all our doctors and the dentists and everything, all our medical support is Navy.

54:26 Drew But it's an interesting history. It was John Forrester, right? They created the Marines. Isn't that the guy's name?

54:31 Guest John Forrester. I thought he created the Marines.

54:33 Drew The third, like him or something. No, he's the guy. There was a guy that basically is only like 50 years old. The Marines are...

54:40 Adam The Marines are World War II, right?

54:42 Drew Yeah, right. Exactly.

54:45 Guest Leo, you can't be this guy anymore. See, you're disturbing me here.

54:48 Drew It was originally like a rapid deployment force that developed into a whole...

54:52 Guest You're thinking of John A. Lejeune?

54:54 Drew That was a force of the guys there.

54:56 Adam Okay, but the point is the Marines weren't around in World War I. They came around in World War II, were they?

55:00 Guest Yeah, Marines have been around since 1775.

55:02 Adam Oh, really? I didn't know that. I thought they were... They were small.

55:07 Guest But they got... I mean, there never was a Marine division until World War II. There were six Marine divisions. But before that, it was just regiments or brigades or battalions.

55:16 Caller They're rapid deployment forces, right?

55:18 Guest Yeah, yeah. And it was real small. 1775, my Marine Corps came alive, and it was Captain Samuel Nicholas was the first commandant. I don't know if anybody really invented it. I just think that the Continental Congress back then, you know, the Thomas Jefferson and Ben Franklin days...

55:36 Guest They got together in a bar.

55:38 Guest That's where the Marine Corps was invented, in a bar.

55:41 Guest In a bar, tons to have in Philadelphia.

55:44 Adam Very fitting. From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli. All right.

55:51 Guest There you go.

55:52 Adam And see, that had to be invented in World War II, that song, didn't it?

55:56 Guest No.

55:57 Adam Who cared about the shores of Tripoli?

55:59 Caller That was before World War II.

56:02 Guest It was like Tripoli during 18 something.

56:05 Adam Oh, really?

56:05 Guest Yeah.

56:06 Adam Wow. But then we did some finding in Tripoli.

56:09 Guest We kicked some ass before World War II. Yeah, we did.

56:12 Adam Simon? Yeah. You're 20. What's up?

56:15 Caller First, I'd like to say that I have a lot of respect for these drill stars. They have a lot of discipline for their life. And as for you, Adam, you're hell of a lot more funnier than anything else I can listen to at this time of night. And Dr. Drew, I think you're really smart.

56:31 Guest Is that a compliment?

56:32 Adam What the hell is that? Yeah, you got Art Bell on talking about UFOs. He said, Laugh Right. Process of elimination.

56:41 Guest You're a lot funnier than listening to my older brother vomit.

56:45 Adam Thanks, Simon.

56:45 Caller As for my question, I know a little about losing hair on your head. It has to do with your testosterone level and DHT and other chemicals in your body. But what I wanted to ask Dr. Drew was does masturbating increase the level of testosterone in your body?

57:05 Drew Dude, you beat off? To a certain point, it does. If you refrain from all sexual activity, your testosterone levels can drop off a bit. And if you masturbate excessively like Mr. Corolla, they can fall off again.

57:16 Adam Since when is five times a day excessively? Wait, they can fall off again?

57:20 Drew So your testosterone levels, they're down. If you don't have any sexual activity, they'll go up and they'll kind of plateau and they'll kind of, they can be too much.

57:26 Guest They'll go down if you beat off too much? Yeah.

57:29 Adam Really?

57:29 Guest How much is beating off too much?

57:31 Drew It's hard to say.

57:33 Adam This is why I couldn't cut it in the Marine Corps. 20 times a week? I need a lot of personal masturbatory space. I couldn't do it with the vibe be squeaking away all night.

57:42 Guest That's the discipline in the Marine Corps. You don't need that much masturbatory space.

57:47 Drew Guy's yelling at you 24 times.

57:49 Guest Hurry up, hurry up.

57:50 Caller Oh my god.

57:51 Guest You're done.

57:52 Adam Now where do you guys, when you guys have a group of recruits, you're in the barracks with them, but you got your own room?

57:59 Guest It's called a duty hut, it's just a part of the barracks and it's just a little separate office space and closed up with the door.

58:06 Adam The duty hut sounds a little confusing. Like some guy get drunk and take a cramp in there or something by mistake.

58:13 Guest I don't think any of the recruits would be drinking during that time.

58:17 Adam I see, so it's like a room about this size, it's a small room.

58:21 Guest It's about this size, yeah. There's a little bathroom off to the side.

58:25 Adam Right. They don't have those old corrugated gold pile ones anymore, do they?

58:32 Guest There's a few left on MCRD San Diego for storage and those kinds of things. They're not utilized like they used to be.

58:40 Adam Do these things have air conditioning and stuff now?

58:43 Guest You open the door.

58:45 Guest You open a window and there's your AC.

58:48 Adam I see I couldn't cut it. Simon? Wait, are we done with him? Where are we going here, Drew? Danielle? You're 16. What's up?

58:58 Caller My parents have been separated for a year and after that, every boyfriend that I've had, I've cheated on them, but not sexually because I'm a virgin. But I can't. Yeah.

59:09 Drew Well, it must be scary to you to maintain a close relationship. You're afraid you're going to lose someone.

59:13 Caller Well, yeah. It's like every relationship that I get. Well, first, I look for the love that I'm not getting from my parents.

59:18 Drew Of course.

59:19 Caller Wow. Then it's like if I'm not getting enough from one guy, then I'll hook up with another one. Well. Another one and it will be like five or six at a time.

59:27 Drew It's great that you could understand that's what you're doing, but I think it's something even a little bit different where probably, it's you're afraid that you're going to lose the love, so you got to keep stringing out.

59:36 Adam Well, but you're a virgin, right?

59:39 Caller Yeah.

59:39 Adam What are you getting out of these guys?

59:41 Caller Like, I mean, they pay attention to me. Like, my father is psycho, so like, it's just like, I get the attention that I never really got from my father. Right.

59:51 Adam Well, you seem to have a lot of insights for 16, you know?

59:54 Drew Yeah.

59:55 Adam Well, why don't you just listen to yourself? I mean, you know what you're doing.

59:58 Caller One of the things, like, I can't hear for myself, and it's like I've been really depressed, and I don't talk to my parents about it because it's like, I can't, I don't know why, so it's like I get really depressed over this.

1:00:09 Drew You get really depressed over?

1:00:10 Caller The fact that they're separated and all that.

1:00:14 Drew Why can't you talk to them about it?

1:00:15 Caller Because, like, I don't know, I've never been able to talk to anybody like about my problems like that.

1:00:20 Drew Well, listen, this would be the time to get some professional help.

1:00:24 Caller I could.

1:00:25 Drew Really?

1:00:25 Adam Really. You were 15 when they broke up, right? All right. That's old enough.

1:00:31 Drew It bothers her. She's depressed.

1:00:33 Caller I mean, it's not really the fact that they broke up.

1:00:34 Adam I'm trying to get her out of it, Drew.

1:00:36 Caller It's like a month after they separated, my mother had a boyfriend, and he's living here, like, too long after that.

1:00:42 Adam Yeah. All right.

1:00:43 Caller It's fat.

1:00:44 Adam Yeah, you're going to have to. You do well in school?

1:00:47 Caller I'm not even in school right now.

1:00:48 Drew Ooh, why not?

1:00:49 Caller Because it's a long story. It's not anything to do with this situation, though.

1:00:53 Drew What is it?

1:00:54 Caller Getting home schooled till September.

1:00:55 Drew Why?

1:00:56 Caller Because I went to a school that, like, you have to be accepted into. We were supposed to move, but we didn't. So then I had to get in my zoned school, and I wasn't learning anything, so my mother pulled me out of that, and I went home to school.

1:01:08 Adam Isn't that home school is a disaster?

1:01:10 Guest But you have to have a lot of money to do that?

1:01:12 Adam No, it just stays home.

1:01:14 Guest You sit home and go to school?

1:01:16 Adam Yeah, and then where are you going? Home college after that? And then homework?

1:01:19 Guest I joined the Home Marines.

1:01:21 Caller I'm going back to high school in September.

1:01:24 Adam All right, you should get back in high school, and you should get your ass in college when you graduate and get some friends. And listen, things aren't great on the home front. I understand that. Don't spend that much time there.

1:01:35 Caller I don't now. And like my mother is like, well, what's wrong? And it's like, I can't talk to her about it.

1:01:40 Adam Talk to her about it.

1:01:41 Drew You need to talk to a therapist, though.

1:01:43 Caller Okay.

1:01:43 Adam All right. All right, take it. We didn't help her any.

1:01:48 Drew No, she thought she had talked to someone.

1:01:49 Guest She needs like, sounds like she needs some friends. I mean, you know, when you're 16 years old, you talk to your friends about problems like that. Listen, she's sitting home doing home school.

1:01:59 Adam I've said this repeatedly on this show, which is there's not enough kids who have friends. I mean, their parents are a disaster. Their family environment is a disaster. You got to have your buddies.

1:02:10 Guest You got to have your buddies.

1:02:11 Adam They'll get you through everything.

1:02:13 Guest What you're going, that's common nowadays. Parents splitting up. I went through it. You got to reach out to people you can depend on, lean on, learn some things, be out there, enjoy life.

1:02:24 Adam Yeah, she's...

1:02:25 Guest Get in the lobby, play sports. What do you call homework when you go to home school? Is it called home work?

1:02:31 Adam No, it's called the way work.

1:02:32 Guest It's called work?

1:02:33 Adam Ironically, you have to go on campus to do it.

1:02:36 Guest To do your homework?

1:02:37 Adam It's an interesting twist.

1:02:37 Guest You got to break into the school at night.

1:02:41 Drew Homework.

1:02:41 Adam Listen, I don't know who invented... That homeschooling should be for the criminally insane and kids who have no use of their appendages.

1:02:52 Guest Now, every third kid is homeschooled. It's like, it's cool.

1:02:55 Guest You develop your social skills.

1:02:57 Caller I thought they only had that in Russia.

1:02:59 Guest But she's missing.

1:03:00 Adam You know what happens now? Kid goes to school, he's got a few extra pounds on him. They start calling him Meatball. He comes home crying and the parents go, listen, you're staying home. Yeah.

1:03:11 Guest Suck it up. Deal with it.

1:03:13 Adam Right.

1:03:13 Guest And he grows up to be a beach ball with lips and he's nasty.

1:03:17 Guest I'm giddy up. Giddy up.

1:03:19 Adam Semper Fi.

1:03:22 Guest What have I?

1:03:26 Adam What's up Sally?

1:03:28 Hello?

1:03:28 Adam You're 21. What's going on?

1:03:30 Caller Oh hey, I've been dating my boyfriend, well I don't know, I guess my sex boyfriend, since 8th grade and I've been a year out of high school already. So the last, well for the senior year of high school.

1:03:44 Drew Wait, wait, wait, stop, stop. A year out of high school now?

1:03:48 Caller Yeah, I graduated in 99. So I guess two years out of high school.

1:03:53 Guest You're 21.

1:03:54 Drew You're 21. You graduated.

1:03:57 Caller I was 19.

1:03:58 Caller Wow.

1:04:00 Drew Why so old?

1:04:01 Caller I got left back.

1:04:04 Guest Yeah, I did too. Because I was smart. I was smart.

1:04:07 Drew And Leo went to Europe. He went to Europe for a couple of years.

1:04:09 Guest You liked it so much, man.

1:04:10 Caller You're a smart ass, right?

1:04:11 Guest I was in home school.

1:04:13 Caller I went to Europe.

1:04:14 Adam Listen, I've said this repeatedly. Sally? This is going to come up time and time again in your life. Here is the rap for all you knuckleheads who didn't get moved on. Tell people you went to Europe between 7th and 8th grade. You lived there for a year with your family. All of a sudden, you'll go from jackass to world traveler.

1:04:34 Guest Yeah.

1:04:35 Adam And people will leave you alone.

1:04:36 Guest You're a renaissance woman.

1:04:38 Caller Actually, ironically, I did. I came from Russia right in the middle of everything. I was here for 4th grade, then I wasn't for 5th, and then I came back.

1:04:46 Adam You went to Russia.

1:04:47 Guest You need to put that in first.

1:04:48 Adam There you go. That's your angle.

1:04:49 Drew You actually have that.

1:04:50 Caller Yeah.

1:04:51 Adam Fine.

1:04:51 Guest Gulag Homeschool.

1:04:52 Drew No accent.

1:04:54 Caller All right. So for senior year, I lived alone. So he lived with me. We were in senior year together, and then we graduated and I got my own apartment. And we lived together for a year out of high school. And then he went off to the Army.

1:05:08 This is his first mistake.

1:05:12 Drew US Army.

1:05:13 Caller Yeah. Right.

1:05:14 Caller US Army. And he just he was in Wachuka in Arizona. And that's the last I heard of him. I know he was back for...

1:05:22 Drew Which one can a Russian national say Wachuka? What the hell is that?

1:05:26 Adam I don't know. You speak Russian, Sally?

1:05:29 Caller Yes, sir.

1:05:29 Adam Okay. So he's broke off communication with you.

1:05:33 Caller Yeah. He just... But we were so like, I mean, inseparable. We were in eighth grade. Completely. Like, I mean, I don't know. Soulmates, not soulmates. But I mean, finished each other's sentence.

1:05:44 Drew Hang on a second. Do you mean you have no communication with him? He vanished?

1:05:49 Caller Yeah. He just... I mean, I know he was around. I know he was here. I saw a friend of his. Well, I'm mutual friend.

1:05:54 Adam Well, he's broken up with you, in other words, right? That's weird, though.

1:05:57 Drew He wouldn't...

1:05:58 Caller But I mean, we... All right. I was a volunteer firefighter. And we were in the same... He was also. And we were in the same company. And...

1:06:07 Adam Fascinating.

1:06:08 Guest You were a great surgeon, too.

1:06:12 Caller I wasn't an MP, though. And, I mean, the only way I found out that he was gone was... I responded to a call, and I asked where Mike is. And they were just like, oh, he left to the Army a couple of days ago. I mean, I didn't even know... Everything was perfect. We were living together. And just not a fight, not an argument. Nothing.

1:06:32 Adam Well, first of all, the thing that's interesting about her is she's...

1:06:34 Drew Her accent's come and go.

1:06:35 Adam She moves a little into Russian, and then she goes into New Jersey.

1:06:40 Drew Yeah, Brooklyn.

1:06:41 Guest Are you a spy for the CIA, or what's going on? I tell you what, I'm just going to tell you straight out here, from being in the service, me and Tony Rosenbum, guys join the service when they get out of boot camp, and they go to their first duty station, and we've seen it a million times, they forget their little schnookums back home.

1:06:59 Drew You're history.

1:07:00 Guest They're exploring life. They're hanging out with new buddies. They're 18, 19, 20 years old. They're out drinking. They're service guys, and they meet new girls, and I can guarantee he's got a new girlfriend over there, or three. He doesn't even want to talk to you. I know it sounds weird, but he's a new guy. Once those guys get out of boot camp, they aren't the same guys that you think they are. They've changed.

1:07:22 Caller God, is it really that drastic?

1:07:24 Guest Another thing, if he left and you didn't know about it, then there was something missing in the first place. Carry out the plan of the day. Move on.

1:07:31 Adam Find yourself a new guy.

1:07:32 Guest There you go.

1:07:33 Adam How about that?

1:07:34 Drew Sal, your mental health is otherwise okay?

1:07:38 Caller I mean, you say find a new guy.

1:07:41 Adam I know, but you're clinging to this.

1:07:44 Drew Is your mental health otherwise okay, Sal?

1:07:46 Caller Yeah, sure.

1:07:50 Drew You ever had anything, treatment, any hospitalization, anything like that?

1:07:53 Caller No, no, no.

1:07:54 Caller All right.

1:07:55 Adam Hey, how big is Yakov Smirnov in Russia?

1:07:59 Caller I have no clue who he is.

1:08:00 Caller Oh, really?

1:08:01 Drew Huge, massive, interesting.

1:08:03 Guest What about Toshtayevsky?

1:08:04 Adam Don't know who he is in Russia, huh?

1:08:07 Caller You know what? Before this show, I never even heard the name.

1:08:09 Adam Really? Well, I'll tell you, you should bone up on your Russian comedians. There's not that many of them. All right, Sal, get a new guy, all right?

1:08:18 Guest Have fun, Sal.

1:08:18 Guest Plenty of them.

1:08:19 Adam All right. Why, she's peeling her like an onion. Go to the Yami Basin.

1:08:23 Guest Cook up at one of his friends and break his balls.

1:08:26 Guest It sounds like most of them just need to get out there and explore their own lives and just have fun and not deal with and absorb all their problems or get consumed with the little things.

1:08:36 Adam No, Tony's absolutely right, which is people, their parents go bad, their boyfriend goes bad, their girlfriend goes bad, things go bad and they just sit home and absorb it when they need to get involved, get out, get a hobby, get a life, get an interest and get busy. I mean, I know it always sounds so trite and cliche when we say get busy, but it's really the best way not to miss somebody, not to mourn something, not to get caught up in your own world. Go run yourself ragged and then come home and just collapse.

1:09:10 Drew The answer is workaholism.

1:09:13 Adam Listen, my parents got divorced, they were idiots, they were crappy parents. I played football, I had a bunch of buddies.

1:09:19 Drew I enjoyed that. That's what Tony's saying. It's different than saying work your ass off. Stay connected to people, be with people in interesting experiences. That's what people do.

1:09:29 Adam I think, how dare you side with Tony and not me.

1:09:32 Guest I think we accept it now. I think we accept this thing in society now. Well, you know, he's a little depressed. Just kind of take it easy on him. I think it means quiet time. It's just good to a certain point where it's sickening. Like, you know, you have to really worry about people's feelings. Like, Jesus Christ, I just bumped into the guy in the supermarket. So what, I said, excuse me, and he gave me a dirty look. I mean, you know, people are so concerned with hurting each other's feelings right now. It's just to a point where it's like everybody's suing somebody for something about, well, they said this about me and they said that about me. Hey, it's a part of life. Suck it up, move on, people get dumped, people die, people get divorced, parents die, you know, siblings die. All that stuff happens. And I think that people sit home and they're like, look at me. You know, my parents got divorced or my boyfriend dumped me. Nobody cares.

1:10:22 Guest I don't. I'm so mad at you.

1:10:25 Guest You know, go out and get over it. It makes you a stronger person when you break through those barriers. Because, you know, once you kick through those barriers, you're 110 percent better than the person you were before.

1:10:37 Adam Well put. We'll take a break.

1:10:43 Caller Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:11:15 Adam I mean after the break.

1:11:18 Drew I said during the break.

1:11:20 Adam Yeah, Drew?

1:11:20 Drew Now, I'll hear it now.

1:11:23 Adam Oh, I said to tell me during the break.

1:11:25 Guest Which is the next one?

1:11:26 Drew To me, that means the next break.

1:11:28 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:11:29 Drew How about I hear the story now?

1:11:30 Adam Well, okay, hold on a second, Drew. It's fantastic. How long have you been doing radio, by the way?

1:11:36 Guest First night?

1:11:38 Adam Or you were here earlier.

1:11:40 Guest You guys want to wrestle?

1:11:41 Guest You guys are going to fight?

1:11:42 Adam Go. You don't want any of this.

1:11:44 Guest Let's team up, two on two.

1:11:45 Drew You jerk. You really, really hurt me. You can't come and go like that and expect it just to be... What the hell was that?

1:11:54 Adam That's when Anderson left the mic. Remember when I was dumping you last year?

1:11:57 Drew Yeah.

1:11:58 Adam I told them I was going to start seeing other guys and...

1:12:00 Guest Did you have to talk about that to some other doctor?

1:12:02 Drew No, sure.

1:12:02 Guest You don't do that emotional term work.

1:12:04 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:12:05 Drew I deal with the fact that I am gay.

1:12:10 Adam Leo McSweeney and Tony Rosenbum are both here from Boot Camp. Wednesday nights, both real instructors. Nine o'clock on Fox. We were... The guys in... Thank you. I really like their approach to life. There's way too much belly aching going on in this country. And I think kids need discipline. I think anyone who steps out of line needs discipline. And whenever I hear these stories of a guy, you know, he breaks into another guy's house, he gets shot, and then they want to prosecute the guy who shot him. My whole thing is, look, when you broke into a guy's house, you began a series of dominoes. You don't know if there's going to be two dominoes or a hundred dominoes, but the point is, is you pushed the first one, and that's it.

1:12:55 Guest You drew first blood.

1:12:56 Adam That's right.

1:12:57 Guest Whatever happened to the days is just fist fighting. And is that a bad thing? I really don't think, I mean, you get the kids with the guns and knives and stuff. And that happened when we were kids. But I remember getting in fist fights as a kid, and coming home, you know, and you might have caught a beating, you might have won, you might have shined or a bloody lip, and your dad was like, what happened? I got in a fight with, you know, Jimmy Taney, did you beat him? I got my shots in. That was it. Now it's like, I'm talking, you know, I was seeing this girl a couple of weeks ago, it's like, I sued the school because my daughter got in a fight with another girl.

1:13:29 Adam Right.

1:13:30 Guest And?

1:13:32 Adam I just heard about a story where a school, it was a private school, but they did away with Mother's Day celebration because there was a kid who had two fathers, and he felt left out.

1:13:44 Guest Oh, God.

1:13:45 Adam Yeah. So it's like the we the 99 percent now has to pay for the totally true.

1:13:51 Guest I know it's sickening.

1:13:52 Adam Yeah, I just wish I would like like, for instance, you guys, I don't know if you're out here during this, but remember the North Hollywood Bank robbery where those guys in full body armor sprayed seven thousand rounds in the community. The mom of one of the guys is suing the city because he didn't get prompt medical attention when they finally put a bullet in a guy. They held him down and they set up a perimeter and they thought there was a third guy roaming around and they didn't get the ambulance in fast enough. And now she's suing LA County because it was wrongful death, basically, is what it was. So, her son, her little baby goes and sprays 3,500 rounds in the community. I mean, this guy emptied 10 banana clips into just god knows where. And he gets a bullet in him, he didn't get the ambulance fast enough, so now she's suing. Now, I would like a bullet in her head.

1:14:53 Guest Maybe she should have been in the crowd.

1:14:54 Drew How about a bullet in the attorney who takes that case?

1:14:55 Guest He was misunderstood. He was misunderstood his goldfish die when he was seven.

1:14:59 Guest You guys need to be more sensitive to his feelings.

1:15:01 Guest Can we start our own country?

1:15:03 Caller Is Rhode Island for sale?

1:15:05 Guest Let's just make Rhode Island our own country.

1:15:07 Adam I'll tell you, I would like a public beheading of the mom. I really would. And I would then hold her head up and I would talk. I would use her mouth to talk and I would say, Why don't we use her ass?

1:15:20 Guest Because that's what she's talking out of right now.

1:15:21 Adam Let this be. Who's next? That's all I can say. Who's next?

1:15:25 Guest Step on up.

1:15:26 Guest I don't think the Rhode Island thing is so far-fetched. It's by Rhode Island. Make it our own country.

1:15:30 Guest Drew, you know.

1:15:31 Drew You're talking about taking over a new state, making a new country.

1:15:34 Guest You get to the border of Rhode Island and you got to chug a lug two beers and you got to do 50 push-ups and we let you in. And we let you know that the law here is the law of the land. Just make pretend you're back in the 1830s.

1:15:48 Adam And here's what I'd say to everyone I know. Listen, don't worry about what could happen. Don't step out of line. Exactly. Because if you step out, anything could happen and everything could happen. You don't even need to know.

1:15:58 Guest And it will.

1:15:59 Adam That's right. That's what I like. I want a scared community that does not get out of line. Brianna. And chug a lug.

1:16:08 Guest Brianna.

1:16:09 Adam Chug a lug is not a West Coast thing.

1:16:10 Guest We're scared pottiest.

1:16:11 Adam We lost the lug many years ago. Just chug the chug.

1:16:15 Guest Yeah, it was the lug. It's hard to chant chug a lug, chug a lug. It's just chug, chug, chug.

1:16:20 Guest That's where it all began. All the sensitive thing. I can't say chug a lug like the other guys, mom.

1:16:26 Caller Just say chug, son.

1:16:28 Guest I'm going to talk to that college dean.

1:16:30 Adam We're going to address that in home school after after. Brianna.

1:16:35 Caller Yeah, hi.

1:16:35 Adam Good night.

1:16:36 Caller What's up? Well, I was just wondering, I was just diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and I was wondering like what the difference is like between depression and like, because I cut myself and I've tried suicide and I'm also bulimic. And like, is that all combined into the…

1:16:59 Adam What are we hearing, by the way, in the background?

1:17:01 Caller Oh, there's like a huge storm here, so like the backs on our house is like on the ground, so…

1:17:09 Drew We're picking up like a radio signal or something?

1:17:12 Adam Is that what it is?

1:17:13 Caller Yeah.

1:17:14 Adam Okay, so you went to a psychiatrist?

1:17:17 Caller Yeah, I've been going for about four months, and I also go to a psychologist.

1:17:21 Drew All right, so borderline is a, you know, it suggests a really significant psychiatric problem. Were you sexually abused or anything growing up? No. Did you have kind of real difficult family life?

1:17:33 Caller I mean, the only thing I could think of was my dad wasn't really there, but he was like a workaholic, you know what I mean?

1:17:39 Adam Yeah, that's not it. Maybe he had a biological predisposition.

1:17:43 Drew What about mom? What was up with her?

1:17:45 Caller She stayed at home until I was probably about 13.

1:17:48 Drew Was she a pain in the ass for you?

1:17:51 Caller Um, now they are, yeah.

1:17:53 Drew Now they're a pain in the ass, but when you were growing up, she wasn't?

1:17:56 Caller No, not that I know of. I mean, I loved my parents.

1:17:58 Adam Well, some people are just screwed up on their own, aren't they?

1:18:02 Caller Yeah.

1:18:02 Drew Are you an addict?

1:18:04 No.

1:18:05 Drew I wonder, jeez, you're a cutter and you got an eating disorder, right?

1:18:09 Caller Yeah.

1:18:10 Drew I mean, those are two different issues. Borderline, certainly borderlines have those kinds of issues.

1:18:15 Caller Okay.

1:18:15 Adam What's your eating disorder? You mean you're vomiting?

1:18:17 Drew It's bulimic.

1:18:18 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:18:19 Drew Have you had that treated?

1:18:20 Caller No.

1:18:22 Adam Why don't we combine them in a more positive way? Start cutting some steak and eating it. You save yourself and you get some food. You start with that ass on a shingle.

1:18:32 Guest There you go.

1:18:32 Adam I got a nice sloppy joey. How can you have it?

1:18:34 Guest Fatten up a little bit.

1:18:35 Drew Yeah. Sometimes they talk about borderline personality traits.

1:18:39 Caller Okay.

1:18:40 Drew Certain kinds of personality traits, but really, I suspect you more fit in. Then those kinds of personality traits really can be treated. You're in treatment, you're in therapy, you're on medication.

1:18:50 Caller Yeah. I do it, and then after throwing up or cutting stuff, it's like, why? Because I think about everyone else who's had such a bad background, and then here's me, and then I feel even more guilty and then even more sad, and then I'll be really happy one day and totally gone, and I'm on medicine.

1:19:07 Drew Yeah. I don't know. I think this is going to distill down into something else as time goes on, but stay in treatment.

1:19:13 Adam Why do they call it borderline? It sounds like you're not as nuts as maybe a code bait.

1:19:19 Drew No.

1:19:19 Adam You're not in Tijuana. You're halfway in San Diego. You could be a little crazy.

1:19:24 Drew It's in an anachronistic term. It's left over from the old days of psychiatry. It used to mean borderline psychotic personality, and now it's basically primitive narcissistic personality. People are stuck in a certain state of development, early development, when they just don't have much internal structure, they have huge abandonment issues, and they act out constantly because they have no other ways of managing dangerous feelings.

1:19:45 Guest So is she making herself throw up?

1:19:48 Caller Yep.

1:19:49 Guest How old is she now?

1:19:50 Adam 19.

1:19:51 Guest 19?

1:19:52 Drew Oh, here's another one.

1:19:53 Adam Oh, yeah, another one. Do you guys go to Tijuana much?

1:19:56 Guest Yeah. We've been down there a few times. I go even further south and go golfing down there sometimes. Rosarito, Asinata, yeah.

1:20:03 Adam Yeah.

1:20:04 Guest TJ's nuts. It's like, you know.

1:20:07 Guest It's too wild down there.

1:20:08 Caller Star Wars. Yeah.

1:20:09 Guest Too many dark alleys.

1:20:10 Caller Yeah.

1:20:12 Drew Star Wars bar.

1:20:14 Caller Yeah.

1:20:16 Adam We used to go to a place called the Unicorn on Revolution, one of those take a flight stairs down into the basement kind of thing.

1:20:24 Drew This for Adam and one of his most famous moments. Two of them, I believe.

1:20:29 Adam Taste of Old Mexico. Is that what you're talking about?

1:20:31 Drew Taste of Old Mexico. Three or three. Taste of Old Mexico, the ice container and the night watch with the stick.

1:20:37 Adam I vomited in the ice maker at Margarita's Village, which is a different place.

1:20:45 Guest They usually like that, don't they?

1:20:48 Guest Nobody knew. That's the bad thing.

1:20:50 Adam Chunk of coladas.

1:20:51 Guest Who do you know?

1:20:55 Caller Yeah.

1:20:57 Adam You're 19. What's up?

1:20:59 Caller Yeah.

1:21:00 Caller Actually, I lied about my question.

1:21:01 Caller I just think they're all talk.

1:21:05 Guest Well, Chris, why do you say that?

1:21:07 Guest I'm not even getting mad at him.

1:21:08 Caller You guys kind of scream like women over there.

1:21:11 Guest Yeah. You're really entertaining.

1:21:12 Caller Yeah.

1:21:13 Guest What do you have to offer?

1:21:14 Caller I'm sorry?

1:21:15 Guest What are you trying to get us fired up or something? It's a poor attempt. What do you have to offer?

1:21:18 Caller Oh, nothing really. I just.

1:21:20 Guest OK, then shut up.

1:21:21 Guest Get off the phone. Get your balls out of your hand and go get a girl friend.

1:21:25 Guest Make something happen for yourself later.

1:21:29 Adam You guys, you know, I'd like to drive cross-country with you guys, just because here's the thing. Like when I'm driving, I want to yell at people, but I don't have enough voice for it, although I'm a pretty good yeller. I've got a good voice when I get cranked up. But so you guys, you got it on the tip of your tongue all the time. It's right there. It's easy access, you know? And there's nothing worse than when someone cuts you off, you're like, hey, yeah, Christ, that arranged.

1:21:55 Caller I forgot.

1:21:57 Adam No, it's so good.

1:21:57 Guest It's like hitting the horn.

1:21:58 Adam But if you want to know, by the way, like there's a lot of folks are a little bit sheltered. They don't know if they're overweight. They don't know if they got a bad comb over. They don't know if they got a double chin. Go out, drive around and cut some people off because you will get your truest. You will be sized up in a very true fashion. Whatever your one characteristic is that's going to come up, you kind of, hey, Brillohead!

1:22:22 Guest If you're more than 20 pounds overweight, it's going to be Lardo.

1:22:26 Guest Your teeth is all jacked up.

1:22:27 Guest Hello, Beale Juice.

1:22:28 Adam Right, right. It's the first, it's the most honest critiquing you'll ever get. That and kids, kids will do that too. I had a, one of my friends, well my friend had a little brother who was like seven. They had like a big Spanish maid, she was like 350 pounds. She wanted to sit down. He was like, Rosa, don't sit on the chair, you'll break it. And I thought, wow, yeah, that's what you get with kids.

1:22:53 Guest That's what you were thinking too. I want to say it every time.

1:22:57 Adam Actually, I just, I actually think I-

1:22:58 Guest Like rub a kid on the back of the head, good job.

1:23:00 Guest Nice work.

1:23:01 Adam All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be back after this. Dr. Drew, Leo McSweeney and Tony Rosenbum are both here from Boot Camp, Wednesday nights, nine o'clock on Fox. These are a couple of good guys. Guys you could chug a lug with.

1:23:58 Drew Tony's got to drive down to Camelton and be at a briefing at 6.30 in the morning.

1:24:02 Caller Really? Yeah.

1:24:05 Caller Got a lot of motivation.

1:24:07 Guest Yeah. Got to do it.

1:24:09 Caller Wow.

1:24:10 Drew So my wife calls that workaholism.

1:24:12 Adam What wakes you up? Do they got the bugle guy still or is he out?

1:24:18 Guest I think I knew him a while ago. Depends on what can.

1:24:20 Guest They got the electronic hookup.

1:24:22 Guest Yeah. It's kind of an alarm clock now. We're Y2K1 compatible.

1:24:29 Adam I'll tell you, if that guy was around when I was in Boot Camp, I would immediately befriend him and cut a deal with him.

1:24:36 Guest Blow that bugle that way, man. You and I are good to go.

1:24:38 Adam And why don't you blow it about 1030? Just so you slept in.

1:24:43 Guest You know what the worst is? That isn't even the worst. The Marine Corps bugle, not bad. Being on ship, when you're on ship, you're a Marine on ship, on float, they have this whistle. Have you ever heard that in the movies? It is so annoying. You know they got that dog whistle that only dogs can hear? That whistle just goes right through you.

1:25:02 Guest It's for the devil dogs.

1:25:03 Guest Yeah, it is. And they blow it for like five minutes. It hits different levels and tones and you're in the rack.

1:25:10 Guest It's like that hearing test on steroids.

1:25:14 Adam Yeah, I would become unnerved. And I couldn't sleep, by the way, knowing that that was coming. No, man, I couldn't relax. Like if I knew. If you told me.

1:25:25 Guest A trash can is going to go flying or a bugle.

1:25:27 Adam Right, I couldn't sleep. I couldn't, I couldn't, I drew, you could do that. But you know me, I couldn't do that.

1:25:32 Drew These guys come in and start jumping on your bed and throwing trash cans and screaming.

1:25:36 Adam I couldn't do it.

1:25:36 Drew That's how they wake you up now.

1:25:37 Adam I couldn't do it. I would put, I'll tell you the first thing I'd do is I'd put the blanket over my head. I'd put my head where my feet are. I'd put my pillow over there so they yelled at my feet for a while.

1:25:47 Guest That would fool us.

1:25:49 Adam Yeah.

1:25:51 Guest You might step on your head on accident.

1:25:53 Adam Rekelle?

1:25:54 Yeah.

1:25:55 Adam You're 19?

1:25:56 Caller Yes, I am.

1:25:57 Adam What's up?

1:25:58 Caller Well, I've been going out with a guy for three years. He still lasts about three minutes.

1:26:04 Drew He's always been that way.

1:26:06 Caller Huh?

1:26:06 Drew He's always been like that.

1:26:07 Caller Always.

1:26:09 Drew That troubles you.

1:26:11 Caller Well, yeah. I'd like to go a little bit longer than three minutes.

1:26:15 Drew You ever tell him that?

1:26:16 Caller Yeah, and he feels really bad about it when I do.

1:26:19 Adam Does he go down on you?

1:26:20 Caller Yeah, but he's not very good at it.

1:26:22 Adam That's the real problem.

1:26:23 Drew That's the big deal.

1:26:23 Guest Teach him.

1:26:25 Adam Yeah. Show him what you like.

1:26:26 Guest Communication.

1:26:28 Guest Now, can a guy like say like half an hour before you guys have sex, can he masturbate and that way he can last a little bit longer?

1:26:35 Adam That's what we say.

1:26:36 Guest Proven techniques.

1:26:37 Guest Tell him the snap is carried about half an hour before you guys get together and it'll last 10, 15, 20 minutes, hopefully. I mean you're totally hot and you just put that on a card.

1:26:48 Guest If there's something that makes you feel good, just tell him.

1:26:50 Caller The problem too though, the masturbation issue.

1:26:53 Drew What? What's the problem?

1:26:54 Caller He's too old to swear that he's never done it. He's 24 and he swears he's never masturbated. I really don't believe him because I don't think any guy has never masturbated.

1:27:03 Guest It doesn't matter anyway.

1:27:04 Guest I didn't masturbate today.

1:27:07 Adam Me neither, actually.

1:27:08 Drew Yeah, but you're-

1:27:09 Guest Well, we got to take another break now.

1:27:10 Caller We'll be right back.

1:27:11 Drew Yeah, Rekele, he needs to sort of master his own biology. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. For him to sort of say, I've never done that. How dare you? Yeah. It's a little ridiculous. It's unfair to you. By the way, you need to tell him what you don't want and need and like.

1:27:25 Adam By the way, this guy's like a fat guy who's bragging he's never worked out.

1:27:29 Drew Yeah.

1:27:29 Adam You know what I mean? What kind of angle is that? He's horrible. He's horrible in the sack.

1:27:35 Drew A metaphor, Rekele.

1:27:35 Adam He should be trying. I know he's not fat.

1:27:38 Drew Emily, he's like a fat guy who's never worked out and brags about it.

1:27:41 Adam Right. He should not be wearing this like a badge of honor. This should be a shameful thing. He should be doing everything he can to try to get himself right for you.

1:27:51 Drew He should be ashamed that you have a master. How dare you?

1:27:54 Adam What's wrong with this technique in terms of going down on you?

1:27:57 Caller I don't know. It's almost like he doesn't really like to do it, but he's doing it because...

1:28:02 Adam You may have gotten a lemon.

1:28:03 Guest Getting motivated about it.

1:28:05 Guest Where do you live?

1:28:08 Adam I stayed in Washington.

1:28:09 Caller I've been alone for three years.

1:28:10 Adam All right. Well, look.

1:28:11 Caller You got...

1:28:12 Adam Yeah. That's a long time to spend with a lemon going down on you.

1:28:15 Guest You ever hear that song, Hit the Road Jack by Ray Charles? Maybe you should start warming up that CD.

1:28:20 Adam Yeah.

1:28:21 Drew But Rekele, this is that thing that people do at your age, which is... It may be fine, but it's not the relationship you want. And you let these kinds of relationships go on for years when at the age of 28, this one would last about three months.

1:28:34 Adam She got hooked up with a guy at 16. Yeah, of course. I mean, come on. Now it's a sort of pity mercy thing to stick with it.

1:28:42 Guest Is this your first guy?

1:28:43 Adam Let's see. Let me get her back. Rekele?

1:28:45 Caller No. I went out with a guy for a year and a half before him.

1:28:48 Guest All right.

1:28:48 Caller But then he went off to college in Rhode Island.

1:28:51 Adam Right. Then you moved on to this guy.

1:28:53 Guest This is Chug of Lugging, right?

1:28:54 Caller All right.

1:28:54 Caller He's been gone for nine months too. He went off into the Marine Corps in 29 palms.

1:29:00 Guest Good man.

1:29:01 Guest 29 stumps.

1:29:02 Caller All right.

1:29:03 Adam You're going to have to.

1:29:04 Guest I guarantee he knows how to go down.

1:29:06 Caller I got to teach him how to go down?

1:29:08 Guest No. I guarantee the Marine guy does. Get back on him.

1:29:11 Adam That is him, right?

1:29:13 Caller Yeah. This is him.

1:29:14 Adam Yeah.

1:29:15 Guest The Marine guy is?

1:29:16 Caller Yeah.

1:29:17 Adam See, he's a disgrace to the Corps.

1:29:19 Guest He's a disgrace to the Corps.

1:29:21 Guest He's learning right now.

1:29:24 Drew He was in the Corps and he left?

1:29:25 Caller No. He's only been in for a little while.

1:29:27 Guest He's been gone nine months, you said, right? Is that right?

1:29:30 Caller Yeah.

1:29:30 Adam All right. You're going to have to communicate. But this sounds like it may be done with. You're just not that into the guy. All right?

1:29:37 Caller No, I am into him.

1:29:38 Adam All right. Well, then you got to train him.

1:29:40 Caller I train him.

1:29:40 Guest I tell the Marines to train him.

1:29:42 Adam Yeah. And listen, I've said this many times to all you guys whose weapon discharges accidentally and too early. You set the clock. The meter gets set when you go down on a check. So do a good job. I mean, if you're one of these guys who comes in three minutes, go down for 20 minutes before that, then you got 23 minutes.

1:30:05 Guest Yeah.

1:30:05 Adam And there's not a woman I've ever met who would complain about that.

1:30:09 Guest No.

1:30:10 Adam They all like oral sex better anyway. You do a good job on that. You're home free. Let's talk to Joe. Joe?

1:30:17 Caller Hey, guys.

1:30:18 Adam Hey, you're 15. What's up?

1:30:21 Caller I think I'm gay. I might just be confused because I'm only 15. But I'm going to be on the football team this year, going into high school, and I'm actually going to be on the junior varsity team. And I'm afraid of when I'm in the showers of getting in an erection.

1:30:37 Adam No, you're not. This is a bogus call. Yeah.

1:30:41 Caller No, really. Guys, my parents are making me play football, and I don't really want to.

1:30:49 Adam Yeah. Well, don't play if you don't want to play. They can't force you to play.

1:30:55 Caller So there's no way that I just.

1:30:57 Guest Do you get an erection thinking about it?

1:31:00 Caller Yeah. When.

1:31:01 Guest Do you get an erection thinking about chicks?

1:31:03 Caller No.

1:31:04 Adam No.

1:31:05 Caller So you're gay.

1:31:06 Caller Sometimes.

1:31:07 Guest Sometimes.

1:31:08 Adam Have you been with a guy? Has your behind been broken yet?

1:31:13 Caller No, but I have been on the computer.

1:31:15 Adam I see.

1:31:15 Guest All right. Have you had sex with a girl?

1:31:18 Caller No.

1:31:19 Adam Well, don't count them out yet.

1:31:21 Guest It's a great thing.

1:31:23 Adam Do your parents, do you think they're on you? I mean, have they seen what you've been looking at on the Internet?

1:31:29 Caller Yeah. One time.

1:31:30 Adam All right. So they got a feeling that maybe you're gay and they're trying to straighten you out by sending you to play football?

1:31:36 Caller Well, I've been playing football for a few years now, but it's just been recreation and I didn't have to deal with the showers.

1:31:42 Adam I see. OK. Well, listen, he's scared he's going to see naked men and get an erection.

1:31:48 Drew The reason I agree with you is by this call, this is not something I've ever heard a young gay man complain about.

1:31:54 Adam No.

1:31:54 Drew You know what I'm saying? In fact, quite the contrary. They go, no, it's no big deal.

1:31:57 Adam Young gay guy can't get to the shower fast enough.

1:31:59 Drew It's no big deal. No big deal.

1:32:01 Guest He's afraid of getting beaten.

1:32:02 Adam I mean, listen, I tell Drew this all the time. The reason the gays are in such great shape is because they hang out at the gym constantly. No, they hate sports, but they love the gym. What's at the gym? Naked dudes.

1:32:15 Guest Sweaty guys.

1:32:16 Adam Oh, my God. Think about if you could go to the gym and just walk right on in, right on into the woman's locker room, sitting at the sauna with a couple of them, then maybe over to the Jacuzzi, and then into the big community shower stall. How much time would you be spending at the gym?

1:32:33 Guest Eight, 12 hours.

1:32:34 Guest Can't I go in the gym now and just say I'm a lesbian? But I'm a lesbian.

1:32:38 Drew But our gay college never, they always say that's not an issue for them.

1:32:42 Guest Remember that?

1:32:43 Drew One guy one time ever called up and said, oh yeah, they're kidding. That gym is cool.

1:32:46 Adam Well, I try to get the gays to admit that they like that. They always say no because they don't want to freak the straight guys out. They think they're going to spaz out on them. But it is true, of course. Drew, you've been to the gym. 80 percent gays, right?

1:32:59 Drew A lot of homosexuals.

1:33:00 Adam Right. Hanging out at the gym. Look, it's Dr. Drew's nuts, everybody. I'll whack off to that later. Mental note. Whack to Drew's sack. Done and done. Pick up dry cleaning. Jack off to Dr. Drew. Feed poodle.

1:33:14 Guest Jack off to Dr. Drew.

1:33:15 Adam Jack off to Drew. Detail meotta. Jack off to Dr. Drew.

1:33:21 Guest Change potpourri.

1:33:22 Adam It's been a week now. Jack off to Dr. Drew. Get something framed. Jack off to Dr. Drew.

1:33:28 Guest And bake a pie.

1:33:29 Guest Jack off to Dr. Drew.

1:33:31 Adam All right. Now that we know the gay itinerary, we'll take a break. We'll be back.

1:33:36 Caller Hello. This is your radio. Loveline will be right back.

1:33:42 Caller Loveline on 947NRK is brought to you by Car Toys. KNRK, Kermis, Portland, and Entercom radio station.

1:34:13 Adam All right, I want to thank Leo and Tony for coming in here tonight from Boot Camp. Nine o'clock, everyone, Wednesday nights on Fox. You do not miss that show. Hey, thanks guys.

1:34:26 Guest Pleasure, thank you.

1:34:27 Adam I'll tell you, I've never enjoyed myself off the air as much, but just having a good regular guy conversation. And Drew, you did a wonderful job of tucking your skirt into your trousers and pretending to be a regular guy tonight.

1:34:41 Drew He even belched, proud of that.

1:34:44 Guest Alright, alright.

1:34:46 Adam Alright, thanks guys, we do appreciate it.

1:34:48 Guest Thanks for having us.

1:34:49 Adam Until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:34:53 Guest You got another question, Wano?

1:34:54 Caller Bring it on! Hurry up!

1:34:55 Guest Get out of my face right now! Push, push, push you nasty thing!

1:35:02 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Thursday, May 10, 2001