Episode 1000754886974

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Adam Yes, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla, your lovable host. That is Dr. Drew over there, board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Welcome to another exciting adventure of The Best of Loveline.

1:23 Drew And probably the last of David Allen Grier, too, because now his show is heating up so much. We're never going to hear from him again.

1:29 Adam I've called him a couple of times. He has not called me back.

1:32 Drew It's done, Adam.

1:33 Adam I'm not kidding. Son of a bitch has not called me back.

1:35 Drew He's a great guy, but he's too hot now.

1:37 Adam Hey, David, if you can hear me, kiss my ass. Kiss my black ass. I'll give him a big right hook next time I see him. We were working out.

1:44 Drew You got to spar with him, not just train him.

1:46 Adam We were doing some boxing and everything.

1:48 Drew You were having him hit the heavy bag of the focus clubs, right?

1:51 Adam Yeah, it was all good. And now it's all bad. All right, but let's go to the bread and butter, Violent J.

1:58 Drew Yeah, I've developed a strange affinity for him.

2:00 Adam Yeah, you guys know his work from Insane Clown Posse.

2:04 Drew He is funny.

2:04 Adam This guy could really carry a four-hour show by himself.

2:07 Drew Yeah, if anybody ever wants to understand or get a feel for manic depressive illness, just listen to this show.

2:13 Best Of You are an asshole.

2:14 Adam Tonight, we have the pleasure of having one of the Insane Clown Posse members in here, Violent J. Shaggy, who normally accompanies him is having his face rebroken and having a little work done. That's right.

2:28 Best Of He's correcting his face was perfect. A mere mishap took place in Milwaukee at a JCW wrestling event where he broke his face and now he's getting his face restructured back to perfection.

2:41 Drew It's called a Lafort fracture.

2:42 Adam Lafort? That's where a guy farts on you and you break it? What breaks?

2:47 Drew All the facial bones.

2:49 Adam The entire face.

2:50 Drew The entire face crushes.

2:51 Adam Listen, is your face sort of like...

2:54 Drew Give me the skull. Give me the bone.

2:55 Adam I don't want to look at any more stuff. What I'm saying though is it's kind of like bridges going from one side to the other and up and down in a way.

3:04 Drew The bones, some of it's... Well, the zygoma is a brick bridge, but in here, there's big caverns with all kinds of stuff in it.

3:10 Adam Right. And he had that broken. How many months ago?

3:14 Best Of It was about four months ago. And when he'd take a hit of his cigarette, I think you will, he would take a hit of the cigarette and when he'd breathe it out through his nose, one line of smoke would shoot up and the other line would shoot down. And that's when we knew things were very bad with his face. You know what I mean?

3:32 Adam And some came out of his eyes.

3:33 Best Of We didn't know exactly that he looked different because of the clown makeup. We never noticed it. But once we saw the cigarette smoke shooting in two different directions out of his nose, we knew that he had not been healed correctly in the facial area.

3:47 Drew Oh, the tears of a clown. I'm kind of hoping these guys smoke a lot more pot.

3:51 Adam Yeah, it mellows them out.

3:52 Drew Yeah.

3:53 Adam Pot.

3:54 Drew Excuse me. Cigarettes. Cigarettes.

3:56 Adam So he had this broken and he didn't have time to correct it through surgery or anything because he had to move on with the tour. And now you have a little pause and it's time to go back and fix it.

4:06 Best Of Actually six days off.

4:08 Adam Right.

4:08 Best Of Which is plenty for us. That's the biggest vacation we've had in about seven years. Wow. So six days off. He is now under the knife. He is receiving reconstructive surgery by the world's greatest surgeons. They flew in. Dr. Fren, you may be familiar with these doctors. There is Dr. Orton who flew in from Germany. There is Dr. Spagnola who flew in from France. Stop me if you've heard of any of these great facial surgeons. They're all working to reconstruct his face with robotic mechanisms, by the way.

4:41 Adam Yeah, I'm picturing that. I'm hearing this $6 million man theme in the background.

4:45 Best Of Well, he will have what is known as a heat-sensoring eye where he can see animals at night. They got him in the new Cadillac, the night vision if you will. Or if you won't, it's still there. He's got night vision in his left eye. All of this I can't really discuss because it hasn't been made public yet.

5:05 Drew Because the government's working over these.

5:07 Adam Let me tell you something. If I ever needed surgery, I would want to fly the doctor in even if I was at the best hospital in the world.

5:15 Drew In fact, you'd fly out of town to fly the doctor over there.

5:17 Adam I would. No, I would insist that he got on a helicopter, circled the hell and land back again so I could say flew in.

5:24 Drew That's good.

5:25 Adam The best doctor, the best money could buy.

5:28 Best Of As for the show, just to let you guys know, out of Shaggy and myself, I am a bit nervous because I usually have Shaggy by my side rubbing my thigh at this moment. But without Shaggy here, it's quite okay because I am the more sexually active member of the Insane Clown Posse. In other words, I have sex with probably two, three, four times the women that Shaggy has sex with. If Shaggy does in fact have sex with women, there's heavy speculation that it's men.

5:57 Drew The concern is though J is pretty quiet and so we don't make sure he can carry the show tonight. I talked to him before the show and he was telling me about how much he's having sex.

6:05 Adam We'll see if we can coax him out of his shell.

6:07 Best Of I have been having a lot of sex.

6:08 Drew And I asked him-

6:09 Best Of Preparing myself for the show.

6:10 Drew To wear the mask when you're doing it? Oh no, just the clown makeup.

6:13 Best Of No, see the mask is like, you know, I came out of my hibernation hotel to do the show with you guys. I wore the mask, you know, but normally I'm in the clown makeup which I have sex with and it fulfills many of fantasies, you know what I mean, for these women to see makeup. As a matter of fact, I go as far as to say about 80% of the women probably wouldn't be having sex with me if I didn't have the makeup on.

6:36 Drew Or for a 280 clown.

6:37 Adam Right, because they would know you weren't a band.

6:40 Best Of Yeah.

6:40 Adam Yeah, I'm speaking of 280, you look like you bulked up a little bit.

6:43 Best Of No, no. Oh yeah, that's strictly muscular.

6:45 Adam No, I don't mean that in a bad way. I'm talking about on steroids or something.

6:49 Best Of Well, I'm going to go ahead and leave that one alone.

6:51 Adam But what are you coming in at?

6:54 Best Of What I will say is, I'm a rough 280 of solid. Would you like me to take my shirt off?

7:00 Adam No, you're solid.

7:01 Best Of Okay, I will be happy to peel up out of my shirt and show you that.

7:03 Adam Your pants would be nice.

7:04 Best Of What might appear to be sort of loopy, lumpy skin tissues is in fact solid.

7:11 Adam No, no. I've said this about my partner Jimmy Kimmel many times, that he is a rippling 180 pounds of muscle. Unfortunately, he weighs 215. You see, that's the problem. It's the extra 45 pounds sitting, 35 pounds sitting on the 180 rippling muscle.

7:29 Best Of Not only am I a musician, though, I'm a professional wrestler. I take my health very seriously. You can tell by my outstanding body that I take my health very seriously.

7:38 Adam Your body is a temple.

7:40 Best Of It is a temple that I worship and I live in it and I will be in it for quite some time, so I take it seriously.

7:44 Drew And right on.

7:45 Adam And right on. Yes, that's more of a thing.

7:47 Best Of I'm sure you want to be, I could take the shirt off.

7:49 Adam It could make you guys more comfortable. Let me give some plugs to you, by the way. The Insane Clown Posse has two CDs, right, coming out?

7:55 Best Of Two separate albums.

7:56 Adam Right. Both called Bizarre.

7:58 Best Of One is spelt B-I-Z-Z-A-R. The other one is spelt B-I-Z-A-A-R.

8:03 Adam Right.

8:04 Best Of Bizarre Bizarre.

8:05 Adam One is red and one is blue, essentially. And it's got some 3D stuff going on. So, yes, Drew.

8:12 Drew Speaking of blue, I saw your car in blue today.

8:14 Adam No, you didn't.

8:15 Drew Yes, I did. No, I mean, I'm sorry, the two-seater.

8:18 Adam Yes.

8:18 Drew And that's your car.

8:19 Best Of Maybe this whole conversation could take place in our commercial break. Get back to the plug on the album.

8:25 Adam Thank you.

8:25 Best Of This album is pure masterpiece. Just let me say that. Let's get to the questions. But damn it, buy the album. All right, first question. How's your nipples?

8:33 Drew James.

8:34 Yeah.

8:34 Drew What's going on, James?

8:36 Yeah, I just wanted to know, hey, James, what's up?

8:39 Best Of What's up?

8:40 Not much.

8:41 Is Bizarre Bizarre the sixth Joker card?

8:44 Best Of Bizarre Bizarre is not the sixth Joker card, but I'm sorry, James, that's his name, James, right?

8:48 Yes.

8:49 Best Of James, how's your nipples?

8:51 Well, I'm a guy, so I don't know.

8:53 Best Of You guys have nipples, James. Yours might have not poked out yet, but they're on their way.

8:59 All right.

8:59 Best Of We're talking about the human body and sex, James. I mean, thank you. Buy Bizarre Bizarre when it comes out. But if we can take the next caller, please, concerns about your nipples, your scrotum, whatever, let's get to this.

9:10 Adam Drew, let's see if we can take some nipple. Let's make it nipple night. Tyler.

9:13 Hey, what's going on?

9:14 Adam You're 16. How are your nipples?

9:17 Caller They're doing all right.

9:18 Adam Good. As Drew knows, I like a little nipple play. I'm not ashamed to admit that.

9:22 I just got to say one thing.

9:25 Best Of That's right! Oh, you can smack Shaggy's face and break it. We'll never die.

9:32 Caller We'll never die.

9:33 Best Of Even if my nipples caught syphilis in each one of them, I'd never die.

9:39 Bazaar, bazaar!

9:40 Best Of Because we just keep living. You guys don't remember this. I was on this show in 1997 when we got dropped by Disney. Everybody said, I saw you the big one hit wonder. Do you remember every other call that came in was like, you guys are going to be forgotten next year? We're not forgotten. We're all up in that ass. And we're still here, aren't we?

9:59 Drew You know, I got the resuscitation kid here. This guy's going to blow a hand.

10:03 Adam Let's put some paddles on him.

10:04 Best Of Come on, you guys, give me props.

10:05 Caller I'm still here.

10:06 Best Of We're not going anywhere. We're here for the chug-a-lows. I'm going to answer questions about your nipples.

10:12 Caller Come on.

10:14 Caller Woo, we're still here.

10:15 Adam Jay, don't shoot your wads. It's a two-hour show, buddy. We're still in the first break.

10:20 Drew First break, seven minutes.

10:21 Best Of Everybody give him a little silence for Shaggy. Thank you.

10:24 All right.

10:25 Caller Marla?

10:27 Adam Marla?

10:28 Hi.

10:29 Best Of I just thought I didn't form.

10:30 Adam Drew, hold on. See if we can get a quick rape question while Jay's on a roll. It's always funny.

10:34 Best Of Shala, were you molested as a child?

10:36 Drew Marla, what's going on?

10:37 Adam Marla?

10:38 Best Of I just thought I didn't form you and the listeners that Ralph Nader is for the legalization of marijuana and the decriminalization of victimless drug crimes.

10:47 Drew Fine.

10:48 Best Of How's your clitoris?

10:50 Drew I had a discussion. I was on Politically Incorrect with him and I discussed this all with him and I knew he was on board with this, but he was afraid to bring it up. He felt that it was sort of political hot potato that he was being advised not to, so I'm glad to hear that he's standing by his principles.

11:03 Adam Really? He's my hero. Alright, Marla. Oh, Jesus. You're 18 and Ralph Nader's your hero? Yes. How fat are you?

11:09 Drew Oh, come on.

11:10 Adam It's true.

11:11 Caller Come on.

11:12 Adam Are you a big gal, Marla? No. Seriously.

11:15 Drew You're fat. No.

11:17 Marla, Marla, Marla.

11:19 Best Of I just happened to go to school and, you know, worship nice people.

11:22 Adam Okay.

11:23 Best Of Do you finger bang yourself, Marla?

11:25 Drew Marla, thanks for your call. We're saving you from Jay.

11:27 Best Of I was trying to get into second.

11:28 Drew Bye.

11:29 Adam Thanks. All right. Come on. Let's get some sex calls for Jay. He's all hopped up. I'm scared he's going to jump on one of us.

11:34 Drew Sarah, get him something.

11:36 Adam Sarah, let's have some sex calls, please.

11:39 Please.

11:39 Adam Danny?

11:40 Yeah.

11:41 Adam You're 16? Hey, how's it going? How's it going?

11:44 Caller I'm trying to talk to Jay.

11:46 Adam There he is.

11:46 Caller Hey, Jay. I was wondering what's up with your guys new tour?

11:50 Caller Are you guys, like, kind of doing...

11:53 Caller I saw Cromwell Kings and they said you were going to be touring with you guys next year.

11:56 Best Of We've got a tour going out with a group. We're going out with Suicidal Tennessee's. We're going out with...

12:03 Adam Whoa, really?

12:04 Best Of We're going out with Nashville Neddon, I will say, because I don't know if I can pronounce their last... Nashville Puthy, the name of the group.

12:11 Adam Right.

12:12 Best Of We're also going out with Confrontation Camp, which is Chuck D and Professor Griff's new band. And also we are talking with the Jim Rose Circus Side, so...

12:20 Caller Oh, my God.

12:22 Best Of What's the name of... What's the caller's name?

12:24 Adam Danny.

12:24 Danny.

12:26 Best Of Does your scrotum flake if you scratch it too often? No, it doesn't flake. OK, keep it moist and it shouldn't flake.

12:33 Caller OK.

12:34 Adam All right, Danny.

12:35 Caller Hey, hey. Yeah.

12:37 Caller I had a question real fast about DXM.

12:39 Drew Yeah.

12:40 Caller I wondered, like, what the...

12:42 if there's any sexual effects on it.

12:44 Drew Don't know much about it. It keeps coming up. I've never seen anybody... I've not had much clinical experience, people being exposed to it. It comes up in discussions. Whenever I'm talking about ecstasy, people want to blame DXM for the... What's DXM? It's just another sort of designer hallucinogenic.

12:57 Best Of It's sort of like when you eat Chinese food, the MSG's make you tired.

13:03 Drew Right.

13:03 Best Of It's very similar to that, as Dr. Drew will tell you.

13:06 Drew I'm not clear what DXM is, frankly. I haven't had no experience with it.

13:09 Best Of I will tell you this, though. Dr. Drew is very similar sounding to Dr. Dre. And let's just hope when Suge Knight gets out of jail, he doesn't accidentally pick your name out of the phone book. Right.

13:20 Adam Dr. Drew is listed.

13:22 Best Of I'm thinking. I'm thinking.

13:24 Adam Jennifer.

13:24 Hello.

13:25 Adam Hey.

13:26 Hi.

13:26 What's up?

13:27 Adam Hey, you're 16.

13:28 Caller Yeah.

13:28 Hi.

13:29 Best Of I've been listening to you guys for like a long time.

13:31 Caller Great.

13:31 Adam What's going on?

13:32 Best Of Oh, my God. I love you guys so much.

13:34 Adam Thank you.

13:35 Best Of So. So I'm really nervous.

13:38 Best Of Let's hear about those nipples.

13:39 Come on, babe.

13:42 Best Of Are they perky or do they sag already at 16?

13:45 Best Of They're perky.

13:45 Best Of Oh, they're perky. OK. They should be till about roughly 25 maybe.

13:49 Adam Yes. And they start to drop.

13:51 Best Of Oh, I love them. I play with them all the time.

13:55 Adam I think you added a little playtime for Jay tonight, by the way.

13:58 Best Of I'd be happy to flick them inside out, whatever you'd like.

14:01 Best Of I can lick them.

14:02 Best Of All right. Come on. You're 16. I got cases pending as it is. Let's get to the question.

14:07 Best Of All right. Well, I've been like having like leakage for like about three months.

14:12 Best Of I'm going to leave this one up to you guys.

14:13 Drew Where's the leakage from? Where's the leakage from?

14:16 Best Of Like the nipple itself.

14:18 Drew Jay might be into this.

14:19 Best Of You know what?

14:19 Adam Jay, are you into that at all?

14:21 Best Of I'll tell you something right now about those nipples. What you want to do is you want to go ahead and twist them. All right. Get yourself a ziplock. Put it around the nipple. Pull the ziplock. It's tight. You can't cut the circulation off.

14:32 Caller Very good. Yeah.

14:33 Best Of Have somebody flick it. If it makes a noise like you can hear, if it stiffens up, it should close the hole of the leakage and go ahead and go to sleep. And let's forget we ever had this problem.

14:43 Adam Dr. Drew, would sealing the nipple work or would that not be it?

14:48 Drew I don't know.

14:48 Best Of My shirt gets wet.

14:49 Adam I see.

14:50 Drew Any chance you're pregnant? Yeah.

14:53 Best Of Maybe. I'm not sure.

14:54 Drew That would be a cause of this. All right.

14:56 Best Of Yeah. But is this supposed to happen that soon?

14:58 Drew They can. Are you on a medication?

15:00 Best Of I was on Paxil.

15:02 Drew Paxil can do this?

15:03 Best Of I was on birth control.

15:04 Drew Birth control? Kind of can do this. And thyroid problems can do this.

15:07 Best Of I'm on both of them and I have had no problems with my nipples leaking at all.

15:11 Drew But you should preoccupy with nipples. Maybe... Jennifer?...

15:14 what's happening to them.

15:16 Adam You're on Paxil and you're on birth control. Why might you be pregnant if you're on birth control? Oh, no.

15:21 Best Of My boyfriend thinks he has super sperm.

15:24 Drew Meaning you missed some pills?

15:25 Best Of Huh?

15:26 Drew Meaning you missed some pills?

15:27 Best Of No, I don't need them.

15:28 Drew No, no.

15:29 Adam You could tell me something about them. Listen, any guy who announces he has super sperm is almost... is always like borderline retarded and shouldn't have kids.

15:36 Best Of Listen, I could have sex with your mom and I'd get you pregnant. That's how popular and powerful my sperms are.

15:41 Caller This guy is sick.

15:42 Best Of That's a whole other subject.

15:44 Adam So what should she do? Drew.

15:46 Drew She needs to see a doctor because she needs a thyroid check. Sometimes pituitary tumors can do this. There are other things that can do it.

15:51 Adam Yeah. Hey, Sarah, what's going on over there with the phone lines? What's happening? Anderson, you got a slide in there? I've been staring at the same two calls on the screen for the last 40 minutes.

16:03 Best Of Well, it's a very important subject.

16:05 Adam I've never seen this before.

16:07 Best Of Wet nipples are something we need to discuss, I think, wholeheartedly, don't you guys?

16:10 Caller Oh, yeah.

16:13 Adam Hello? What's up? What's your name?

16:16 My name's Rebecca.

16:17 Adam How old are you?

16:18 I'm 18.

16:19 Adam What's your question?

16:21 Well, my question is, so often on the show, it seems like you guys talk about how if a girl's like having sex and stuff that, you know, she must have some sort of history of molestation or something.

16:34 Drew No, no, that's not it at all.

16:36 Adam When were you raped, Rebecca?

16:37 Drew No, when somebody is acting out in a destructive way, we know there's a reason for it and we can usually find it.

16:43 Okay. But like, what would you characterize as a destructive kind of sex?

16:48 Adam When did your dad rape you? Thank you.

16:52 Drew Yes.

16:52 Adam Well, no, here's what it is.

16:54 Best Of Here's what it is, Rebecca.

16:56 Adam Yeah, the Jim Rhodes sideshow sort of stuff. People call this show when they're talking about having orgies and banging away on their, you know, they're engaged and they're having sex with their sister's boyfriend and stuff like that. They're doing destructive stuff and that usually means something's up. It's not just the, it's not the act of having sex.

17:14 Drew All right. It's destructive. It's destructive. It's doing it in ways that don't make her feel good. They're not an expression of intimacy. They're just, they're just act, sexual acting out, trying to manage feelings that she can't manage any other way.

17:26 So somebody's having sex without intimacy?

17:29 Drew No, no. Using sex as a way of managing feelings.

17:32 Oh, okay. Okay.

17:33 Adam All right. Are you, are you okay?

17:35 Yeah, I'm fine.

17:36 Adam You got a boyfriend?

17:37 No.

17:38 Best Of In other words, there's nothing wrong with you having sex with your father. We don't find anything wrong with that here at the show.

17:43 That's good.

17:44 Adam What's up with you, Rebecca? Why, why no ma'am?

17:48 Because I'm going to school and I have a job and my motto is to stay single for as long as I can.

17:55 Best Of Or until you lose that extra hundred and fifty, huh?

17:57 Caller All right.

17:59 Adam How dare you, Violet?

18:00 Best Of I've got that figured out.

18:02 Adam All right. Rebecca, you're doing great. Okay. Keep listening to the show, all right? All right. All right.

18:10 Best Of Look, hey, Sarah, look, I might be a little bit overweight myself, but I don't I don't particularly, I don't know.

18:19 Adam You're not overweight.

18:20 Best Of Well, I don't have sex.

18:21 Adam You're husky.

18:22 Best Of I don't have a muscle, large women because like two fat people having sex is like something that just shouldn't happen.

18:29 Drew I thought you were ripped. You're not fat.

18:31 Best Of Oh, no. Did I say I was fat? I meant I'm fat ripped with a P-H-A-T. I'm fat.

18:36 Adam Get hip to the lingo.

18:37 Drew I see.

18:38 All right.

18:39 Drew How about this one?

18:40 Adam All right.

18:41 Best Of Sarah, neat nipples.

18:43 Adam Yeah. Hey, Anderson, start doing the phones over here or or do something. Go ahead. Beth.

18:51 Yes.

18:51 Adam You're 30.

18:52 Caller Yeah.

18:53 Caller What's up?

18:55 Caller I've been taking Xanax, two milligrams a day for about seven years, six or seven years. And I, my doctor can't prescribe for me now because I have a different insurance.

19:07 Drew Oh, boy.

19:09 Caller And I can't get an appointment right away with a new doctor. And I'm about to run out of the pills.

19:14 Drew You've got to find a way to get more.

19:15 Adam Well, you stick them all once in, right?

19:18 Caller I've tried. I've called crisis lines and all kinds of things. I'm not having any luck. And I've got two more days worth of the pills.

19:26 Drew What about your original doctor? I'm going to hold a drug company and see if I can get you some medicine on a compassionate basis. Does that work? The doctor you're leaving has a responsibility to cover you until you find a new doctor.

19:37 Adam Can't he give you samples?

19:38 Drew That's what I'm saying.

19:39 Caller No, it's not a question of the money. It's illegal for me to pay for myself to see him.

19:45 Drew Yeah, but call...

19:46 Caller Because I have a different insurance.

19:47 Drew Yeah, but he is responsible. It doesn't matter. He has a responsibility to cover you for prescriptions.

19:52 Adam Drew, what if she doesn't take her Xanax? What will happen?

19:54 Drew You'll have a seizure.

19:56 Adam Oh, really?

19:56 Drew Very likely.

19:57 Adam All right, so it's no big deal? Is two milligrams a lot?

20:00 Drew It's not going to be a modest dose, and it can really be an awful withdrawal.

20:03 Adam Well, how about she starts getting off of it? It's been seven years. She's not taking that much.

20:07 Best Of Well, what does this have to do with nipples? I mean, the sexual...

20:12 Drew You could taper down over six weeks or so, but you couldn't take a while. And you can manage a withdrawal, but again, you have to take more medicines to counteract the withdrawal.

20:22 Adam Why are you taking the Xanax?

20:24 Drew For panic attacks.

20:26 Adam I see. All right.

20:27 Drew Not a great medicine.

20:28 Adam Oh, geez. You'd have one. If you saw Violent J in that Mexican hoodie...

20:31 Best Of Let me tell you something. Nobody knows more about panic attacks than yours truly. Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, I've got plenty of problems with panic attacks. Really? I've actually wound up in a special home twice, but I haven't been in one in like a year and a half. We talked about this last time on the show.

20:45 We did. Yeah, yeah.

20:46 Best Of I'm flattered that you remember. Yeah. But I was very ill for panic attacks. My nipples were wet and everything. It was a horrible time of my life, but things are different now.

20:57 Adam Now you give everyone else a panic attack.

20:59 Best Of Xanax, Zolofts. I take Xanax, Zolofts.

21:01 Drew Maybe you're taking Zolofts.

21:02 Best Of I take an entire box of Nyquil pills every night.

21:06 Drew Not good.

21:06 Best Of I know. Terribly bad, but without them I can't go to sleep. And just now I've been hooked on Vicodins and now I take about nine, eight or nine Vicodins throughout the day.

21:17 Adam That sounds healthy. It's just pragmatic. That's good. That's good sign. I mean, you're an athlete, right?

21:22 Best Of Oh, tremendously.

21:23 Adam Seriously. How many, how many, are you, are you taking Xanax and all this stuff?

21:28 Best Of I'm dead serious. I'm taking Zoloft.

21:30 Adam How much Xanax you taking?

21:32 Best Of There's, it's a, I don't know what the milligrams are, but I've been taking them ever since my first panic attack. I take Zoloft and Xanax.

21:40 Adam Is it working?

21:41 Best Of Well, no.

21:43 Adam Well, you're not having panic attacks.

21:45 Best Of No, but I mean, now that I know what a panic attack is, I don't think I'll ever have one again to the point where I go to a mental asylum.

21:51 Adam What happened when you went to the mental asylum?

21:52 Best Of I didn't know what a panic attack was. Imagine never even heard of what a panic attack was, and all of a sudden you can't breathe and you're terrified and you think everybody's trying to kill you. And you literally can't breathe and you're sweating and you don't know what it is, you know? So I just wigged out and I cut all my hair off and I just totally freaked out.

22:13 Adam And who dragged you to the mental hospital?

22:15 Best Of My brother dragged me home and my mom dragged me into the mental asylum.

22:19 Adam That must have been a tall order.

22:20 Best Of Because I wouldn't answer, I thought it was a horrible time, man. It's hard to be, it's hard to be advice worthy. Is that the right word? It's hard to help these people with their wet nipples and discuss my panic attacks at the same time because my panic attack was a horrible, horrible thing. And now I take the Zoloft, the Xanax, and a pack of Nyquil pills and Vicodin and about six Tylenol PMs every night.

22:45 Drew When you had the panic attack, were you coming off some other drugs or something?

22:49 Best Of It just hit me out of nowhere. I was in the bus one night and I woke up and I just like, it was just a horrible, horrible time.

22:55 Adam Drew, what does Tylenol PMs ruin his liver?

22:58 Drew The Tylenol can, but the Vicodin's got Tylenol, too.

23:01 Adam We're gonna take a little break. Violent J is here from the St. Clown Posse. Drew, I want you to line J out during the break about what he can and can't take, what he can and can't mix, what he's doing to his liver, ways to get him asleep, maybe, this thing is pretty. Maybe, it's not, maybe prescribe him something.

23:18 Best Of The liver's been gone, yes.

23:20 Adam No, no, you need your liver. I know that. I'm no med student, but I know that. All right, we'll talk to Roxanne when we come back. She had a breast reduction, means her nipples may have shrank, Jay. And she wants to know if they're gonna grow back after this. Kitties! Loveline! I'm Adam Corolla. That's my good friend Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Violent J is in here tonight from the Insane Clown Posse. Bizarre and Bizarre are both the names of the two new CDs.

24:00 Best Of And I don't care what kind of music you like, you're gonna find something you like on that record. I'm trying to make our Juggalo Army grow.

24:07 Drew I'm just thinking that Bizarre, and Bizarre pretty much describes the posse's experience here every time they come on.

24:12 Adam Yeah.

24:13 Best Of You guys, everybody out there listening, you might think I don't know about squirt nipples and all that, and I might not. You know, I don't know nothing about your, your, your nedding, your butthole.

24:22 Drew Oh, maybe the Zoloft made your nipples leak.

24:25 Best Of Well, my nipples didn't actually leak, Dr. Drew. That was, them was jokes back when I was talking about the leaping nipples. I'm sorry. But I will say this. Did we, when you, did you hear that?

24:37 Adam No.

24:37 Best Of That wasn't my nipple, was it? When you hear the music.

24:42 Yeah.

24:43 Adam There it goes again.

24:44 Best Of When you hear our music, you'll realize that I might not know about leaking nipples and rusty clitorises, but I do know about music, because I am a musical genius.

24:54 Drew Should we hear some of the music?

24:55 Adam I think we should.

24:56 Drew That's kind of an intro.

24:57 Adam Let's talk to Roxanne first, because I said we're going to talk to her when we came back about a breast reduction and then we'll hear something from the Insane Clown Posse. Roxanne?

25:06 Best Of Hi.

25:06 Adam Hey, you're 25. What's going on?

25:08 Best Of Well, I was interested in getting a boob reduction, because I'm kind of large.

25:14 Adam What are you? What are you coming in at?

25:16 Best Of 36F.

25:18 Adam Nice. How's the rest of you doing?

25:20 Best Of 36F, 245 in fact.

25:24 Best Of Wow. No, actually I am 5'1. I weigh about 140 pounds.

25:32 But I lift weights, so that's part of it.

25:35 Caller Yeah.

25:37 Adam Hold on, let me do some quick radio math here. 5'1, 140, carry to the floor, bring around... Okay, 4'11.5, 153.

25:48 Best Of Okay.

25:49 Drew Of ribs.

25:49 Adam That was the radio math. Okay, so you lift... Now, if you're sort of a stocky built person in the first place, why are you lifting the weights?

25:58 Best Of Well, because I don't... I kind of like being stocky. I don't want to be a rail, you know?

26:04 Yeah, but my boyfriend likes meat.

26:06 Adam He likes meat. Well, let him eat the meat and look at the weight models. Well, listen, I mean, here's all I'm saying. It just reminds me, Drew, remember we were talking the other night about our driver in Philadelphia? The guy was about 5'3, he weighed 300 pounds. And we're asking him what kind of work, you know, he said he wanted to lose weight. What kind of workout he did? And he said, you know, squats, cleaning jerk, a lot of power lifting moves. And I was thinking, you're going to convert, you're going to go from an ice box into a freezer. You know, you're going to go from a fire hydrant into a jukebox. Like guys that are 300 pounds and 5'3, should just be running on a treadmill.

26:41 Drew Yeah, cardio.

26:42 Adam They shouldn't be doing the cleaning jerk.

26:43 Drew Right. Shrink, shrinkage exercise.

26:45 Best Of First of all, if she says she's 145, you got to realize she's at least 185. That, you got to know that.

26:50 Adam No, it was 153 and she was shorter than 5'1. I did the radio math, Jay. Come on, pay attention now.

26:55 Best Of Okay.

26:56 Adam All right. Number two, she just hung up, didn't she?

26:59 Best Of Because I broke the bubble when I said to 185, fat ass.

27:03 Adam All right.

27:06 Best Of I scared you, didn't I, fat ass?

27:08 Adam All right. Easy, easy.

27:10 Best Of Take care of your own drippy nipples.

27:11 Adam Hey, hey, hey. What do you think about the breast reduction, Drew? She's 25 years old. She's a little short. She's a little bit stocky.

27:19 Drew There may be, again, she has a double F. Yeah, because breasts are predominantly fat. There may be a way to sort of redistribute throughout her body, do more cardio, see where that takes her.

27:27 Adam All right. So she should do more cardio and then see about the breast. How about you just do one breast and see how it works out? Eugene?

27:36 Caller Yeah, what's up? Adam, Drew.

27:37 Adam Hey, you're 17. What's going on?

27:39 Caller Long time listener, first time car. Let me say first off that, you know, I've been a fan for seven friggin years.

27:46 Adam Of us?

27:47 Caller Of you.

27:47 Adam Thank you.

27:48 Caller And Che? I've been down since Malenko, brother. All right. First show you did at the...

27:57 Adam Oh, use the F word. All right. I'll tell you what. That to me, now it's a good time to hear a little something from the Insane Clown Posse. What song are we hearing, though? I have no idea.

28:07 Best Of What are we listening to?

28:08 Adam You have no idea? Anderson? Let's go all the way.

28:11 Best Of OK, this is a remake from a classic 1980s one-hit wonders group. Right. Red Fox and the Pimps, I think they were called. I can't remember.

28:21 Caller Yeah.

28:21 Adam I see you're a real student of music. You covered this song.

28:24 Caller Hi, Fox.

28:25 Best Of I don't know what they're called. Anyway, we remade it and made it dope. And this is me singing.

28:30 Adam And what this is called?

28:32 Best Of This is called Let's Go All The Way. And it's about Shangri-La. It's about a Juggalo's heaven. You know, it's about the place where all Juggalos will one day reside. It's total no racism, no hatred, no battling.

28:43 Caller Hold on.

28:44 Adam Is it Juggalo a Juggalo?

28:45 Best Of No, Juggalo is an open minded individual.

28:48 Adam That's a Juggalo?

28:49 Best Of Yes.

28:50 Caller I didn't know that.

28:51 Best Of Well, it's not even in the Webster's. It's something beyond Webster's.

28:53 Adam Oh, I see. That's your Webster's.

28:55 Caller That's right.

28:56 Adam I should have been hip to the Juggalo. All right.

28:58 Caller So let's hear it.

28:58 Adam What do you say?

28:59 Best Of This is our heaven.

29:02 Adam Let's go all the way. That is from the same clown posse. Violent J is here tonight. Shag's having his face readjusted. That's fine. We got Violent J and that's good enough for us. Bizarre and Bizarre, both spelled different ways are the two CDs.

29:18 Best Of And let's go all the way and get into some phone calls about some drippy nipples.

29:24 Caller Yeah, that's the way I like them.

29:25 Best Of Nice and drippy.

29:27 Adam Thomas?

29:27 Caller Yeah.

29:28 Adam Yeah, what's up?

29:30 Caller I was wondering what connection J and ICP has with the Cottonmouth Kings.

29:36 Best Of Cottonmouth Kings are friends of ours. They used to be on the same label as a couple members of the band and they are friends of ours and that is the only connection. But they are great. They are awesome in concert. And they are absolutely fabulous and as far as I know their nipples are fine.

29:59 Caller How are your nipples doing, J?

30:01 Best Of Mine are wet. We've already gone over this if you pay attention to the damn show.

30:05 Drew The Zola. The Zola.

30:07 Adam I think the Cottonmouth Kings were in here two years ago. Year and a half ago?

30:12 Drew At least.

30:13 Adam At least. Two years ago.

30:14 Best Of They like to smoke a lot of marijuana so I'm told.

30:17 Adam Really?

30:17 Drew I'm not kidding.

30:18 Really?

30:18 Best Of That's the word on the streets.

30:19 Adam Well, they should come in. If you see them, tell them to come in here again. George?

30:23 Hey.

30:24 Adam You're 18. What's going on?

30:25 Caller Yeah. Well, I masturbate and I get a climax.

30:30 Adam I see. Hold on. Hold on. Slow down. Slow down.

30:32 Caller Yeah.

30:33 Adam Slow down. You're 18. You're male.

30:37 Caller Yeah.

30:37 Adam And you say you masturbate. Yeah. Wow. And then as you masturbate, something comes out of your penis? Yeah. It's not urine? Semen?

30:46 Caller Yeah. Okay.

30:47 Adam All right.

30:47 Drew Adam, I'm not trying to learn about this medical stuff.

30:49 Adam I'm trying to stay with him.

30:50 Drew Bizarre. Oh, all right.

30:51 Adam Keep going.

30:52 Caller Bizarre.

30:53 Caller And then it shrinks like really small.

30:56 Adam You mean when you're done?

30:57 Caller Yeah.

30:57 Adam Hold on a second.

30:58 Drew Oh my God.

30:59 Adam Drew, grab. I need another scratch pad here. I'll fill this one up.

31:02 Drew We're going to get this kid.

31:04 Adam Hold on. Do you get an erection?

31:06 Caller Yeah.

31:07 Adam As you're masturbating?

31:08 Caller Yeah.

31:09 Drew Why? That is my witness.

31:11 Adam Drew, in 25 years of medical profession, have you ever heard of that?

31:15 Drew Bizarre, bizarre.

31:16 Adam Bizarre, bizarre.

31:17 Best Of This kid's a... He's smacked in the mouth.

31:20 Caller Is that what you call this thing? Yeah.

31:23 Adam Thanks, George.

31:24 Caller That's it?

31:25 Best Of George, you're an ass. I can't say that.

31:27 Adam Yeah, you can say it.

31:28 Best Of George, can I say that? George, you are an asshole, George. Perhaps, perhaps... What did you share that with us, George? Are you masturbating right now? Is that your fetish you just now completed it? You called him tools, you jacked off, you've nut on your face and you're dingly tricks.

31:44 Best Of Whoa!

31:45 Best Of Oh my God! Somebody hold the phones!

31:49 Caller I can't believe that! George, are you okay?

31:52 Best Of When you nutted, did it hurt?

31:54 Caller Oh my God!

31:55 Best Of George, somebody get his parents on the phone!

31:58 Adam You know what I want? Speaking of parents, I was just having this fantasy about taking violent Jay around with me to family functions and things like that.

32:07 Best Of George just shared that with the world. I go to school tomorrow, George, and share it with your classmates. I'm sure they're happy to hear it too. You called, you do the knuckle shuffle on your pump, and you bust a nut.

32:16 Caller Well damn!

32:18 Best Of That's quite an accomplishment, George! Why don't you curve your penis around and stick it in your anus and hump yourself, George!

32:28 Adam Very, very solid advice from J.

32:31 Best Of It'll probably feel better than the fist, right? I mean, the nice warm butthole!

32:35 Drew Thinking about J, you can't say anything, it's too scary.

32:37 Adam No, but you know what I'm saying? Wouldn't it be great to bring J around with you so he could do your bidding for you? I would like him to just keep my family alive.

32:45 Best Of George Jacksoff, that was something that we really needed to hear.

32:48 Drew What would you tell him to say to that? How would they go, sit down, do their... Pass the turkey, please.

32:52 Adam I'd give him a little prep on the ride in. You know, my mom, she didn't pay too much attention. Me, she smoke a little too much pot. She didn't cook enough. Jay, why don't you strain her out?

33:03 Drew How do I not turn on you?

33:05 Best Of Come on, you guys.

33:05 Caller George, come on.

33:06 Adam I can't keep the Xanax.

33:07 Caller You guys can't.

33:08 Best Of That wasn't a respectable call. That was...

33:11 Adam All right. No, you're absolutely right. And thank you for yelling at a caller, because usually I'm the one who wastes all my energy yelling at callers all night. And thank God, Jay's here to do it for me.

33:20 Best Of I stroke my penis in. I nudged it in. My dinging went soar.

33:26 Caller Oh, what kind of gorgeous is that?

33:31 Caller I've got a homo.

33:32 Best Of Well, George, you're a man for sharing that with us, George. You're a hell of a man, damn it.

33:36 Caller Come here.

33:36 Best Of Let me give you a pat on the back. Nice to share your feelings with. That's a real man, right? Let's just give a warm... Give me a handshake and a hug, because we're men together. You jack off. I jack off, George. Damn it. You finally shared it with us. Thanks for opening up. Now open up your butthole and stick your dingo in it. Get the hell out of here.

33:52 Caller I want to give him a Yokozuna. Maybe a figure four.

33:57 Best Of Yokozuna died. He just died two days ago. That was the most undisr... That was a disrespect.

34:01 Drew Wait, who is he?

34:02 Best Of He's a wrestler. He died. And he's making jokes about it. I didn't know he died. He died 700 pounds, and he died. And he's the nicest man in the world in here.

34:09 Drew 700 pounds?

34:10 Best Of And Adam's considering bust on him and talk about... I don't...

34:14 Adam That was an homage. I said I was going to give him a Yokozuna.

34:17 Best Of His family's listening and now he's dead, and they're not over it yet, and you're making jokes about him on national radio? What the hell's going on?

34:23 Adam Drew, get the door.

34:24 Drew Yeah, I'm opening the door.

34:25 Adam All right, we're going to take a little break.

34:26 Drew A little air here.

34:27 Adam Violent J.

34:28 Best Of George, do it again and call us, you pansy.

34:36 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. He's Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Violent J is here tonight from the Insane Clown Posse. Bizarre is the name of the CD. One is blue, one is red. They're spelled a little differently. That's how you can tell them apart. Here's a question I have. We're talking to Violent J about drug abuse, taking too many Tylenol, too many Nyquil tablets, and too many Vicodin, all this kind of stuff. But Drew, Violent J is a big guy.

35:03 Drew Right.

35:03 Adam All right. Now, we know that if a guy is getting near 300 pounds, he can drink a six-pack of beer and not have the same effect on an 85-pound Asian woman.

35:14 Drew Alcohol is evenly distributed in fat.

35:16 Adam It is.

35:16 Drew Yeah. Okay. But these opiates aren't, though.

35:19 Adam But what is the difference between a guy the size of J and a woman 125 pounds who takes the same size...

35:29 Drew Opiates?

35:31 Adam It takes the same Vicodin pill.

35:33 Drew Opioids, I should say.

35:34 Best Of Before you answer that, I'm going to say nothing because me and an 85-pound Asian woman are pretty much the same because neither one of us have any fat.

35:42 Adam Right.

35:43 Best Of Let's just clear that up for the radio people that aren't seeing me.

35:47 Adam I'm not saying fat. It's all muscle.

35:49 Drew I mentioned fat and alcohol, but it's different at a certain point, but it depends where the drugs get distributed and how they're metabolized, and these drugs go directly to the brain. Right.

36:00 Adam And so you're saying it's not a big difference.

36:01 Drew Not a big difference.

36:02 Adam But why does it seem like a 300-pound guy could handle it better than a 110-pound woman?

36:07 Drew I've seen skinny 120-pound guys much more resistant to opioids than... Oh, really?

36:12 Adam Yeah, the skinny junky types. Perfect. All right. Now, what about effects on the liver? We're talking about taking a handful of Tylenol every night.

36:20 Drew It's interesting that 8 Tylenol could kill somebody. If I took 8 Tylenol, I could be dead in three days, but the way people abuse opioids...

36:27 Adam Why don't you take 9 and die tomorrow?

36:29 Drew It will still take 3 days.

36:32 Best Of Why would it take 3 days?

36:33 Drew Because your liver has to become inflamed and shut down. It takes a while to shut down.

36:36 Best Of Well, I take 6 a day.

36:38 Drew But you don't take them all at once. And the interesting thing about the way people use... You don't?

36:41 Adam Oh, yeah, he doesn't.

36:42 Best Of Oh, boy. Yeah, every night. Right when I go to bed, I take 6. I start typing something on a computer. Right when it kicks in, I go to sleep.

36:49 Adam The 6 Tylenol PM?

36:50 Best Of Yeah.

36:51 Drew Okay. 6 Tylenol PM. But the way people abuse Tylenol-containing products like Vicodin and Tylenol PM, I've never seen a case of significant liver damage from the Tylenol. It's as though the way people ramp up the use of those drugs, they give the liver enough time to adjust, develop the metabolic machinery to be able to metabolize off.

37:10 Adam Jay should up his dose?

37:11 Drew If you were suddenly to up it or double it, he could be in trouble.

37:14 Adam Right.

37:14 Drew But if you slowly up it, I've seen people taking a 100 Vicodin a day, no liver problem.

37:18 Adam Really?

37:19 Drew A 100.

37:19 Adam A 100?

37:20 Drew 100.

37:21 Adam Geez, could they spare a handful for me and Jay?

37:23 Best Of I'd like to meet their supplier.

37:25 Adam Jesus Christ.

37:26 Best Of That kind of trouble.

37:26 Adam Does Vicodin have Tylenol in it?

37:29 Drew Tons. That's the point.

37:31 Adam Oh, that's the point. Yeah. Oh, you shouldn't drink with the Vicodin. That's right. I think I forgot about that last time I took one.

37:35 Best Of I don't drink, but the night pill has liquor, alcohol in it.

37:37 Drew This guy was taking a 100 Vicodin a day. I've seen many people taking 40 to 50, but the guy was taking a 100 had sudden total deafness.

37:43 Caller Well, how do you take?

37:45 Best Of Well, because that would suck. His music's my only-

37:48 Adam Wait a minute. How do you take a 100 Vicodin a day?

37:51 Drew You take 10 at a time? 14, yeah, at a time.

37:54 Best Of You guys, we're talking about Vicodin and drug problems, and we're totally missing the point. A poor kid just called here and admitted to the world he jacks his penis off and nuts on his face. Let's get to the real subjects at hand, please.

38:07 Adam Chase Wright, it's time to refocus on jacking and nutbusting. Richie?

38:12 Yeah, how you guys doing?

38:13 Adam You're 22, what's going on?

38:14 Caller Yeah, actually, I have two questions. The first one, I was wondering, what's the average? I'm 22, and I was wondering, what's the average penis length from my age?

38:22 Drew 5.4 or something? 5.6?

38:25 Best Of I'm not sure if you didn't know that.

38:27 Drew They get asked that all the time.

38:28 Adam That's flaccid. Erect, it's 9, I think 9 and a quarter.

38:32 Caller No, I'm only about 3, so it's...

38:36 Adam Oh, yeah.

38:37 Is it done growing?

38:38 Drew The 3 erect?

38:39 Caller Yeah, is there a chance that it'll grow more?

38:41 Adam Who the hell was that?

38:42 Best Of Did you just hear a woman laugh?

38:43 Adam Yeah, you may get another 30 second out of it in the next three years, but that's about it.

38:49 Caller And then my second question was for Violent J, actually.

38:52 Adam Three inches?

38:53 Best Of Hold on a minute.

38:54 Adam One more.

38:55 Best Of Hold on there, Richie.

38:56 Adam What's your nationality? Drew wants to know.

38:58 Caller I'm Caucasian.

38:59 Adam Oh, really?

39:00 Caller Wow.

39:02 Adam See, white guys do have small penises. Three inches erect?

39:06 Caller Yeah.

39:06 Adam Do the girls mind?

39:07 Caller On a good night, it can sometimes get to three and a half.

39:10 Best Of I don't want to get into anybody's personal business, especially yours.

39:14 Drew I know that, JA.

39:15 Best Of How is it that you are familiar with the average size of a 22-year-old man's penis?

39:20 Drew Well, I'm a doctor.

39:21 Best Of Well, I mean like that, yeah, but some things just don't, you know.

39:24 Drew Doesn't seem right, does it?

39:25 Best Of No.

39:25 Adam Drew has seen thousands and thousands of feet of lineal feet of penii in his day. If you stacked all the penis that Drew has examined up, ball to head, ball to head, ball to head, it would stretch all the way across North America and into Canada. That's ball to head, right?

39:44 Caller Yeah.

39:44 Adam As a matter of fact, he instigated the whole penises across America thing that kind of fell apart in 1989.

39:49 Drew If you go head to like, Burdick, you go to Burma.

39:53 Can I ask Brian the J a question too?

39:55 Caller Yeah.

39:55 Adam Oh, let me, Richie, let me give you a quick tip. I suggest you start measuring your penis using the Adam Corolla measuring device, which is a technique, which is from, and a lot of people don't know how to correctly measure the penis, from the center of the anus, right? The very center of the anus to just be on the tip.

40:15 Caller I think that would make it a little more than average. Right.

40:17 Caller Just a little past the tip.

40:19 Best Of Go ahead and stick the end of the ruler right up your ass.

40:22 Caller Right.

40:22 Adam Just from the center.

40:23 Drew Here's what's interesting about Richie. Richie is a well put together guy emotionally. He has a small penis. It's a big deal. We have people calling with six-inch penis is obsessing about the size of the penis.

40:36 Best Of Well, I think it's more interesting.

40:37 Drew Not a big deal.

40:38 Best Of Well, he's emotionally capable of handling that. That's pretty good. But the fact that he has a three-inch penis is a little bit more interesting to me. What do you do with that little penis of yours?

40:48 Caller I mean, it's not the size that I guess that's what girls say.

40:51 You see?

40:51 Best Of Well, when you put it in, if it doesn't go in deep enough, grab it by the shaft and just start slapping it back and forth on our net and walls.

40:58 So I try to force it in a little further.

41:02 Best Of If she brings no enjoyment, if that doesn't get her any enjoyment, smack her in the back of her head and put it in her butt, that should do it. Just start ramming it right in her butt. Right in the butt. You like that? Now, now give me some reaction.

41:14 Caller Right up your ass.

41:16 Best Of Smack her in the back of the head. Keep smacking her back of the head though. That's important.

41:19 Just stick her in the ass.

41:21 Best Of Stuff your balls in there too. Pump the hell out of her butt hole, man. That's what you got to do. Richie, now what's your question?

41:29 Drew Does he need to wear clown makeup while he's doing that?

41:31 Best Of Sure. It would help. I'm sure it'll help a lot if she's like, well, your penis is so small, so you'll say, oh, it's small, huh? Oh, right up your ass. Now it's not so small, is it? Oh, her butt hole, that's what you do.

41:42 Adam I just had this flash because I will talk to my grandmother tomorrow, who listens to this show, and she will say, who was that young man?

41:51 Caller Who was that young man who was on this show last time?

41:55 Best Of It should, am I right, though? It should have a tremendous effect on her butt hole, unless her butt hole's already blew out, like she's just taking cucumbers in her anus or something. Then you don't want to get with that girl anyway for butt hole for some reason blew out. But if she's a regular girl with a nice tight butt hole, if she's making fun of your small little dingling, stick it right in her ass. Oh, no, what's funny?

42:14 Oh, right up your ass with my three inches.

42:18 Best Of You tuck your balls in there like I told you. And then at least give it some width with your balls in there too, you know what I mean?

42:24 And just ram that anus on.

42:27 Best Of Smack her in the back of the head. Am I right?

42:30 Caller Pull her hair right up your butt.

42:33 Drew I'm so proud to be a part of this show. I'm proud.

42:35 Adam Just use good common sense in the bedroom. I agree.

42:38 Caller Stick both thumbs in her butt hole and stretch it out.

42:41 Adam Pragmatic. Stuff that seems obvious, not obvious to our callers. Stuff good, solid, pragmatic, old school advice.

42:48 Drew You got notes on this?

42:50 Adam Put the thumb in the ass, ram the balls in the ass.

42:52 Both thumbs, stretch it out and put your penis right in.

42:55 Adam Stuff that people, you wouldn't think you'd have to impart to people, you have to tell them when they call this show.

43:01 Best Of When you got your penis in a butthole, grab her netting hairs and use that as like a saddle. Just pull it in.

43:05 Taking a break.

43:06 Drew Taking a break now.

43:06 Adam We're going to take a little break. Drew, you go out to the trunk of the car, get the Xanax samples, I'll see if I can hold Jay down, you then massage his throat and drop those into his mouth and we'll be back after this.

43:18 Best Of Alright.

43:37 Adam You're on the Ultra Hot David Allen career.

43:42 Starved egg boy guys, I just want to warn you, Dr. Drew, my medication is I can see kind of worn off.

43:51 Best Of It's white knuckle time, guys, because I made it that first hour. I'm just trying to make it to me.

43:57 Caller Okay.

43:59 Best Of Midnight without having an accident. So let's power through and take some calls.

44:03 Caller Okay.

44:04 Adam You up to it?

44:05 Best Of Yeah, I'm fine. You know, it'll help me though. Just don't, I think you were talking, you know, about, you know what, last time. And I kind of triggered the whole episode.

44:13 Adam Vomiting?

44:15 Best Of I don't even want to repeat it because, you know, then that's going to start off. All right.

44:18 Adam I'm sorry. I just, you know, we do a radio show, people don't know.

44:20 Best Of It was about you. It was about your personal hygiene.

44:23 Adam My boyfriend had such a huge shlong that he scrambled my in-arms.

44:28 Caller Oh, come on. Oh, no.

44:30 Best Of Just breathe.

44:31 Caller Just breathe.

44:32 Adam Okay, Debbi, do you say if you feel like you got to do something, you just turn over, just turn to the right there.

44:38 Best Of Okay.

44:38 Caller So you can miss the console there.

44:40 Best Of Brett?

44:41 Caller Yes.

44:41 Adam You're 21.

44:42 Caller Yes.

44:43 Adam What's up?

44:43 Caller What's going on?

44:44 Adam What do you want?

44:46 Caller Well, two of my female friends and I kind of engage in a threesome tonight. And we all work in the same place and we were talking about it.

44:58 Drew Restaurant.

44:59 Caller And we came home and we're drinking and one thing led to another.

45:04 Adam Where do you work?

45:05 Caller We work in a restaurant.

45:07 Adam Shocking.

45:07 Best Of There's some about that.

45:09 Best Of Did you pop both of them or were they doing a little show for you and what?

45:12 Caller There was a little switching back and forth.

45:14 Best Of All right. All right.

45:15 Best Of Did they seem to enjoy it?

45:17 Caller I think we all had a good time.

45:18 Adam How does that work? What do you do with the other chick when you're busy with one of them?

45:23 Caller Well, one kind of, I guess, would take care of the other.

45:26 Adam I see.

45:28 Best Of I talk a lot when I'm doing one.

45:29 Best Of I'm just like, God, you're so skinny.

45:31 Caller Yeah.

45:33 Best Of Yeah.

45:34 Caller Yeah.

45:34 Best Of Yeah. Yeah.

45:35 Best Of You know, stuff like that.

45:36 Caller So, well, I guess the problem now is we don't really know where to go from now.

45:40 Drew What do you mean?

45:42 Adam You got to add a fourth.

45:43 Caller No, we all have relationships on the side.

45:47 Adam On the side?

45:47 Best Of Keep the secret, man.

45:48 Adam Keep the secret.

45:49 Best Of What do you have to do?

45:50 Drew Let me explain something, Brett.

45:51 Adam This is the relationship that's on the side.

45:54 Best Of Get a house. Move in with these two heffas.

45:56 Caller But we all work together.

45:58 Adam I see.

45:58 Caller We all have to go to work tomorrow and it's going to be strange.

46:00 Drew It's going to be weird.

46:01 Adam Can you refrain from getting on the PA system and announcing it to everyone else at work?

46:08 Caller I think we can handle it.

46:09 Adam Do they have boyfriends?

46:11 Caller Yes, they do.

46:12 Adam You have a girlfriend?

46:13 Caller Yes, I do.

46:14 Adam Where is she?

46:16 Caller She's at work right now. Nice.

46:18 Adam Fantastic.

46:19 Best Of This is a good move. Let's do some role playing. Adam, I'm going to play this young man going to work today. I'm going to be a bad doobie. I'm at work.

46:30 Caller Dude, I just bowed two chicks. They're right across there. Hey baby. They were doing each other's man.

46:37 Best Of I was like, am and stuff.

46:40 Caller It was awesome.

46:42 Adam And my co-worker?

46:45 Caller Snow my finger, man.

46:47 Snow my finger.

46:50 Caller Hold on.

46:50 Caller That was just one hand.

46:51 Caller Give me the other one.

46:52 Give me the other one.

46:53 Adam Yeah.

46:55 Best Of I did a video, man.

46:57 Caller I recorded it.

46:58 Best Of Awesome.

46:59 Adam Hey dude, this is not as good as your night, but I took a leak in the freezer before I locked up.

47:05 Best Of Yeah. Scene.

47:07 Okay. You don't want to do that. You don't want to do that.

47:09 Best Of Okay.

47:10 Caller Keep it secret.

47:11 Adam Yes. Yes. Although it's going to be hard not to talk.

47:14 Best Of Wow.

47:15 Adam I mean, listen, when I was 20-

47:16 Drew I thought you were breaking up with his girlfriend, since this is sort of the direction he's going.

47:19 Caller I was 21.

47:20 Adam I jacked off twice, and one night, I rented out Billboards. I couldn't imagine. If I was with two women, I would have brought that up.

47:27 Caller I don't give a...

47:28 Adam I could have been at a funeral.

47:29 Best Of He's already talking to us. He doesn't even know us.

47:31 Caller Yeah.

47:31 Best Of Right. Now, see, it doesn't seem like he has a problem.

47:34 Caller Oh, Dr. Drew, I know.

47:36 Drew He needs to get out of that relationship. He's in this not a relationship. Why?

47:39 Best Of Do you feel guilty?

47:40 Adam Oh, let me talk to him.

47:41 Caller Brett?

47:42 Best Of Do you feel guilty about this?

47:43 Caller Oh, no.

47:44 Drew No.

47:45 Best Of So, what's the problem?

47:46 Adam Well, what's the problem, dude?

47:48 Caller Well, the girls, they just don't know what to do.

47:51 Adam Hey, Brett, how does it work with the orgasm when you're with two women? You know what I mean?

47:56 Drew What's it happen? What do you do?

47:57 Adam No, I mean, do you save yourself for one or is it just kind of random?

48:01 Caller No, I think we both have it.

48:03 Adam You both have it?

48:05 Caller Yeah, kind of the pull out, you know? Yeah.

48:07 Best Of I like you.

48:08 Adam And where was the other one? She was within range?

48:10 Best Of She was very within range. Just like a little plop here, a little skeet there, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, everywhere.

48:16 Best Of Everybody, everybody skeet, skeet.

48:19 Best Of That's how you do your threesome with me.

48:21 Caller Oh my God. Oh my God.

48:24 Adam It gets eerie when it takes on a sort of kindergarten theme with the threesome. Yeah, it's haunting.

48:30 Drew Yeah. But not just the threesome, it's the whole weird...

48:35 Adam So a little...

48:36 Best Of A lot of foods there.

48:38 Adam A side of ranch for both of them, huh? Very nice. That's very democratic of you.

48:44 Best Of Adam, Adam, I don't want to dwell on stuff, but I just want to make sure you don't spread out...

48:48 Drew This is David Alex Greer, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you.

48:50 Best Of The subject that kind of triggered my whole attack last time.

48:53 Adam Oh, the ranch.

48:54 Best Of Well, you were talking about...

48:56 Drew It was ranch, wasn't it?

48:57 Best Of No, you were talking about hygiene, about his personal hygiene, cleaning areas.

49:01 Drew He has that.

49:02 Best Of Oh, he went on the other...

49:04 Drew Stop, stop.

49:04 Adam Stop it right there.

49:07 Drew He went on the other night about...

49:11 Adam Number two?

49:12 Drew Number two, is that what you were talking about?

49:14 Adam Yeah, I was saying this, David, and back me up on this one if you could.

49:19 Best Of Mouth's getting watery.

49:20 Adam Sometimes you wipe your ass, and it's as if the toilet paper never touched your coolly. I mean, you literally could blow your nose with the same stuff you wipe your ass with. There's nothing there.

49:34 Caller Nothing there.

49:35 Adam It's like, hey, did I just take a dump or what?

49:40 Caller There's nothing on the toilet paper.

49:41 Adam But then there's other times.

49:43 Caller Adam, I beg you.

49:44 Caller Oh, God love you.

49:45 Adam There's other times.

49:45 Caller Adam, I can't.

49:46 Caller There's other times.

49:47 Best Of Drew, get out of the room.

49:48 Caller When you... And you never stop wiping. You never stop. And there's actually more on the paper the second time you wiped than there was the first time. And you can't figure it out. Now, I've gone to a roll, and I'm on to the hand towels. And I'm this close to the goddamn curtains because it still has not mopped up what is down there. It is like the Pugin Sound down there. Do you understand? I found a seagull floating in the toilet with the dead.

50:29 Adam Bette Midler came in and cleaned an otter off.

50:32 Caller Set it free again.

50:33 Caller Adam, please. Please stop. Oh, I'm so sorry, Dr. Drew.

50:39 Caller Can I get a month through?

50:41 Adam It is. It is literally like trying to sop up a thirty two ounce can of beef stew. It's like it's like sop. How does projectile bowel syndrome work? Where it actually hits the underside of the lid. You know what I'm saying?

51:08 Where it doesn't go down, it goes up. It goes up.

51:13 Adam You actually have a rooster tail of dookie coming out of you.

51:17 Drew There's an example in the men's room right now.

51:19 Adam It looks like a ski boat going through a swamp.

51:22 Best Of I want to apologize. I think I hit bottom.

51:26 Adam Are you okay, David?

51:27 Drew It's called a dry heap now.

51:30 Adam You all right?

51:31 Best Of Yeah.

51:32 Adam I got to tell you, Drew, I've gone through the paper. I've gone through the curtain. I've gone through the handrail.

51:38 Drew The anus squirting device.

51:46 Caller I had to wipe myself with...

51:55 Adam I had to use bunny slippers, you understand? I was, I was so, Anderson, will you leave my goddamn mic on? Are you okay?

52:06 Caller I'm okay, guys.

52:07 Adam You all right?

52:08 Best Of Doctors are gonna get me a can of Red Bull, I think I should.

52:10 Caller Yeah.

52:11 Best Of Let me just have some Red Bull, that always makes me.

52:13 Adam I got up off the toilet, and I went and watched. I watched TV, and I felt a little more. And I thought, my God, I must be bleeding, because this cannot be more fecal matter. Just cannot be, because. But sure enough, this God is my witness. I looked down on my underpants, it was like a Rorschach test down there.

52:42 Best Of It went so well, Dr. Drew.

52:44 Drew I know, it's okay. You'll be all right, David.

52:46 Caller I'm crying and vomiting.

52:50 Drew It's been a good night.

52:51 Adam Yeah.

52:52 Caller Do you have a change of clothes?

52:53 Drew Yeah, well, I have to change too.

52:55 Caller You're all right, bud?

52:56 Caller I'm okay, man.

52:58 Caller Can I get Kleenex, please?

52:59 Caller I just want to.

52:59 Drew Okay, big boy.

53:00 Caller It's going to be all right.

53:02 Adam Speaking of Kleenex, I went through a whole box of Kleenex.

53:05 Best Of Adam, please.

53:06 Caller Oh, I'm sorry.

53:08 Best Of Okay, let's take a call.

53:09 Drew Yeah, a few of our.

53:11 Best Of I'm sorry, guys, I'm all right.

53:13 Adam I'm sorry. Was I getting in to something that was upsetting David?

53:16 Caller I don't know.

53:17 Caller Okay.

53:19 Adam Melissa?

53:20 Caller I'm so sorry.

53:22 Adam You're 18, Melissa. What's up there?

53:24 Drew Melissa.

53:26 Best Of Melissa.

53:28 Caller She's been through the. Expelled.

53:33 Caller All right, let's see.

53:34 Adam Speaking of expelled.

53:35 Best Of Colin, please.

53:37 Drew Oh, you're going to forget.

53:38 Adam No, I'm just saying.

53:40 Caller Okay, I didn't know what was going to happen.

53:43 Drew Just calling him.

53:43 Caller Oh, boy.

53:45 Best Of Don't even tell him what we just did here.

53:48 Caller Oh, that's for real.

53:51 Caller Oh, my.

53:52 Best Of Oh, I'm getting electrocuted.

53:55 Caller Oh, my goodness.

53:56 Can you get electrocuted on your own vomit?

53:59 Caller Oh, my gosh.

54:00 Best Of You know what, guys? I want to apologize because I didn't think I should have had chili tonight.

54:05 Drew You know, it all looks like chili when it comes back. It's all right.

54:09 Adam Yeah.

54:09 Best Of Dr. Drew, please stop.

54:11 Adam And Drew, the burning sensation you get down there, is that from the spicy food or is that just.

54:16 Best Of Thank you so much. That's Jenny Weidman, my beautiful publicist. Thanks, Jenny. PLPR.

54:21 Adam She's wonderful.

54:22 Caller Oh, let me just.

54:23 Best Of You guys go ahead. I just want to.

54:24 Best Of I just need.

54:25 Caller Yeah, Colin.

54:26 Best Of Yeah, you're 17.

54:29 Drew Oh, don't forget the table.

54:33 Best Of I just got to get some chomp chomp and what's up there?

54:36 Best Of Oh, first I got to say, David, you are the funniest guy I think I've ever.

54:39 Drew By the way, David, thanks for blowing your nose and then wiping the table.

54:42 Caller Thanks a lot. You know what?

54:43 Best Of Germs are good, Dr. Drew.

54:44 Caller They rule the world.

54:45 Best Of They were here before we were born.

54:46 Drew They were indeed.

54:47 Best Of OK. You know, germs aren't going to kill you.

54:49 Drew They'll just make you real sick.

54:51 Adam What's up there, Colin?

54:52 Best Of Yeah. Well, I'm about to join the Army. I got a call like a week ago and I figured I'll go for it. Since I was in high school, I thought it was pretty cool. And I had this friend and he got me started smoking weed. Oh, like a year ago. And I think the last time we did it was like a month and a half ago. And he told me that I had to take a physical and cycle all out physical on Monday. And I want to know how long it takes for the weed to go through your system.

55:23 Drew If you were a regular pot smoker, it could take a couple of weeks. But if you're just smoking once a month, it's gone. It's gone in a few days.

55:30 Best Of Back to the ecstasy, Dr. Drew.

55:32 Adam Alright, Colin. Have fun killing people.

55:35 Best Of Back to the ecstasy, Dr. Drew. Say you're a little older gentleman. You take the ecstasy now and then.

55:41 Drew You're very focused on this.

55:43 Best Of Would it kill you?

55:43 Drew No, it will not kill you.

55:44 Best Of What would it do to you?

55:46 Drew It makes you funny. It F's with your brain chemistry.

55:51 Best Of How would that manifest itself?

55:52 Drew Does it have memory problems?

55:54 Best Of Have anything to do with vomiting?

55:56 Drew Of course. A panic attack.

55:58 Best Of I am so scared, boy.

56:00 Drew Anxiety.

56:01 Best Of Now, what kind of anxiety? Because I do suffer anxiety problems sometimes.

56:07 Best Of I do.

56:08 Adam Just throw that on the ground like it's good.

56:10 Best Of I do. Obsessive thoughts too, Dr. Drew. I go over and over things. I'm telling you right now.

56:16 Drew I find that shocking, but yes.

56:17 Best Of Any, if you said something to me, any indiscretion.

56:20 Drew You'd be obsessing about it for weeks.

56:22 Best Of Absolutely. And I will see you a month from now and I'd go, thanks a lot.

56:27 Caller And walk away. And I'd be like, really, I feel really good.

56:30 Best Of I told him. You'd have no idea.

56:34 Adam Oh, man.

56:35 Drew Well, he's going to obsess about this for a month.

56:36 Best Of It's the FCC calling. Would you put David Allen Gere on the line, please?

56:41 Best Of No, but I would obsess about it. And, you know, I'd just come up and I'd go, you know, on October 30th in 1988, you really upset me when you like turned away.

56:48 Drew We noticed that you sort of, well, you sort of, David replays for us the show he'd been on just prior to coming in here.

56:54 Best Of Right.

56:54 Adam I don't even remember it.

56:55 Drew Yeah. And he's got the whole thing replayed for us.

56:57 Best Of I do.

56:57 Best Of And to the woman in my life, I apologize so much because you should.

57:01 Best Of It takes a special lady to keep up with me. But I tell you something, the kooky people are always the most fun. I tell you, you catch me on one of my good days, sunshine all day long.

57:14 Adam I'd like to do that sometime.

57:15 Drew Yeah, it'd be nice to have a good day, wouldn't it?

57:17 Best Of Hey, hey, let's take some calls now that I got past my old vomiting thing. I got it out. It's not going to come back. You know, my tank's empty now.

57:24 Adam You feel good? Alex?

57:26 Caller Yeah?

57:26 Adam You're 17.

57:27 Caller I am indeed.

57:28 Adam What is that?

57:29 Caller Nothing much. Adam Corolla, how the hell are you? Good.

57:32 Caller Excellent.

57:33 Best Of I have a confession to make. I actually made up my question, fellas.

57:36 Drew All right, good. What's going on?

57:37 Best Of I'm terribly sorry.

57:38 Best Of You are an asshole.

57:39 Drew What's going on?

57:40 Best Of Thank you. Thank you, Violent J.

57:42 Caller I'm sorry.

57:44 Best Of First of all, I mean, the real reason I wanted to call is just to say hi to Adam Corolla.

57:48 Caller I mean, it's a pleasure just to speak to you, sir.

57:50 Adam Thank you, Alex.

57:51 Caller Well, thank you.

57:52 Adam No, thank you.

57:53 Best Of Can we cut this homo off and try and help some people that are sick?

57:57 Drew It's ridiculous. Alex, Alex, Alex, anything else just you want to say hi to Adam?

58:00 Caller Um, yeah, that's pretty much it.

58:02 Drew I'm sorry.

58:03 Caller Whatever.

58:03 Caller That was a waste of a call.

58:04 Caller I feel sorry for your screener.

58:06 Adam That's all right, Alex. And by the way, he prefers to be called queer, not homo.

58:11 Best Of Jenny, Jenny, you are so wonderful. Jenny, please go home.

58:14 Best Of That's my wonderful publicist. She works too hard.

58:16 Adam She's a dynamite lady.

58:20 Best Of Yes.

58:20 Best Of How are you, Shannon? What's going on, baby?

58:24 Best Of Well, I don't know. I'm having a problem. I'm dating this guy. And he's got a very strange-shaped penis.

58:36 Adam Like Lincoln's head?

58:37 Best Of No.

58:38 Best Of Does it curve? Yeah.

58:40 Best Of Right. My sister kind of described it.

58:45 Best Of Wait a minute. Wait a minute. How would your sister know what the homeboy's joint looks like?

58:49 Best Of Well, I didn't show her, obviously, but...

58:52 Drew She seemed to know, strangely.

58:53 Best Of Well, I talked to her about it.

58:55 Drew And how did she describe it?

58:56 Best Of Gonzo's nose.

58:58 Drew Well, whose?

58:58 Best Of Gonzo from The Muppets.

59:00 Drew Right.

59:01 Adam The nose.

59:02 Now, sometimes if it curves...

59:05 Best Of Does it curve up or down?

59:07 Best Of Down.

59:08 Best Of That's bad. That's bad for the girls. Sometimes if it has a little dip at the end, that's pretty good for you girly girls.

59:12 Adam Yeah. I use it as a hook.

59:15 Best Of What's up? Is it really pronounced or just faint?

59:18 Best Of We haven't had sex yet. We've only been dating for three months. Normally, you know, I'm pretty, you know, horny and so it's like...

59:26 Best Of Apparently, you ain't been that horny three months.

59:27 Adam How bent is it?

59:29 Best Of It's significant.

59:31 Adam If he got on top of you and really got in deep, would it poke out your ass?

59:36 Best Of I don't know. I would hope not.

59:38 Best Of Is he self-conscious about it or did he just plop it out on the table and say, look at that girl?

59:43 Best Of Well, we were fooling around and I grabbed to pull it out. I grabbed again, again, that was bent. When I went to straighten it, it wasn't going to be.

59:55 Best Of Word to the ladies, if something's bent, don't try and straighten it out.

59:58 Best Of That's right.

59:58 Adam Leave that to the professionals. Shannon, now Drew tells me that the vagina is curved that way.

1:00:05 Drew Let's go to the picture.

1:00:06 Caller Is it down or up?

1:00:08 Best Of I thought it was up.

1:00:08 Drew I got to show David.

1:00:10 Best Of Apparently, ladies and gentlemen, Adam and Dr. Drew here have what I like to call the old street guide to the Twinkie Hole.

1:00:17 Caller That's right.

1:00:19 Adam Let's see.

1:00:20 Best Of We're going to take a peek down Main Street here.

1:00:23 Adam That's right.

1:00:23 Best Of Holy cow. Look at that thing.

1:00:26 Drew Back this way towards the...

1:00:29 Best Of But wait a minute. But wouldn't it be better if it went up?

1:00:31 Drew Why? It's all going this way.

1:00:32 Caller That's true.

1:00:33 Best Of But still, if she's lying, you want a straight entry, you don't want it curving anywhere.

1:00:38 Drew We're talking about going in the direction of the canal, that way, towards Mecca here.

1:00:42 Adam Most penises curve up, though. Not many go down.

1:00:44 Caller I don't want you looking at this.

1:00:46 Adam Right. Let me see this.

1:00:47 Best Of Jenny, I don't want my publicist looking at it.

1:00:49 Adam I see. And so what are you saying, Drew?

1:00:52 Drew I'm saying that it's going that way.

1:00:53 Adam Where's the hole?

1:00:54 Caller It's right there.

1:00:55 Drew Going that way, going towards Mecca here.

1:00:57 So hold on there, Drew.

1:00:58 Best Of Let's break this down for the people. We're looking at a cross-section of the love box, the Twinkie Hole. Now you're saying the man's sword.

1:01:07 Drew She's lying down or back here.

1:01:09 There you go.

1:01:09 Caller On the floor there.

1:01:11 Caller Right, right.

1:01:12 Drew Now bringing things up a little bit doesn't hurt.

1:01:14 Best Of Show me a tipped uterus.

1:01:16 Drew I'm going to flip back this way.

1:01:17 Best Of Uh-huh. And you always got to go gentle with that.

1:01:20 Drew Yeah.

1:01:21 Best Of You know what I'm saying?

1:01:22 Adam Well, you brothers do. I never get that from you.

1:01:24 Best Of Well, my sword is straight and true, my friend.

1:01:26 Adam Yeah. My dagger is straight.

1:01:29 Best Of There you go. My love, my pipe, my stick, my wand, my big boy.

1:01:33 Best Of You know what I'm talking about, Dr. Drew? My love stick.

1:01:36 Adam Is there pressure as a black man to have a large penis? You know what I mean?

1:01:39 Best Of You know what?

1:01:42 Best Of I don't know.

1:01:43 Best Of You don't feel that pressure?

1:01:44 Best Of No, no. I mean, you know, everybody's the same. Every, you know, everybody's the same. I don't really.

1:01:48 Drew What the hell was that? Did he answer your question?

1:01:51 Best Of No, but there's no, do people, people don't really believe in the myth.

1:01:54 Adam Here's what I'm saying.

1:01:55 Caller Do women, yes, they do. Yes, they do.

1:01:58 Best Of Do you girls really, there's two Caucasian young women here. I'm looking at, will remain nameless. Do you believe that black men have larger units, larger packages, once nodding?

1:02:10 Best Of Why like a dark guy with a very big willy?

1:02:13 Best Of Do you, have you slept with guys of color, but you just believe that? Why? Why would you believe that if you don't know?

1:02:18 Adam I'll tell you why, David.

1:02:19 Best Of Your friends told you?

1:02:21 Drew They watched pornos.

1:02:22 Adam I'll explain why. A couple reasons.

1:02:24 Best Of Break it down now, David.

1:02:25 Adam Twofold.

1:02:26 Best Of Tell me why the black man is a little bit bigger.

1:02:31 Adam Most of the black erections that I've seen in my life have come via porn. And they don't let a black guy in with a small dork. Well, I hear you, baby. The whole thing about porn is like, if we gotta have a black guy, he better be big. Otherwise, it's gonna be disappointing to the white viewing audience. You understand? Secondly, the reason the black penis looks bigger is because it's dark, just like bodybuilders. They work out, they lie out in the sun, shows definition. You got an albino guy with his shirt off, he looks fat. You got a black guy with his shirt off, he looks defined. So the black penis can actually look bigger, even when it's not.

1:03:11 Best Of But don't you think, isn't that just a myth?

1:03:14 Adam No, but here's what, don't talk to him. Listen to me, David. You got a Chinese guy, and you got a black guy.

1:03:20 Caller I'll hold it right there.

1:03:21 Best Of Have you ever seen Japanese porn? Homie.

1:03:24 Adam Small?

1:03:25 Best Of It looks like a little pinky.

1:03:26 Adam That's what I'm saying.

1:03:27 Best Of And they talk a lot of stuff, you know, the Japanese are like. You know, and it's like, Right. A little honey bird.

1:03:37 Adam So my point is, is if a lady hooks up with a Chinese guy and drops his pants, and it's the exact same size as the black man's penis she's with a week later, she's excited to see it on the Chinese guy. But if the black guy has the same size when she's disappointed, that's pressure, my friend. And that's something you've got to live with.

1:03:57 Best Of Well, I've never had a problem, you know. I'm like every other American, slightly above average. That's all. That's all I claim to be. You know, but they did have that HBO special on the male member.

1:04:10 Caller And they had one dude who was great.

1:04:12 Best Of This black dude, he was talking about his piece, and he was like, you know, a lot of times, I don't like to pull it out because, you know, I can hurt you with it.

1:04:22 Caller Like, what does he mean?

1:04:24 Best Of I'm serious.

1:04:25 Best Of I can do damage.

1:04:26 Best Of Rip blood vessels, you know, cause physical pain.

1:04:30 Best Of Like, I don't need anything like that.

1:04:31 Best Of You know what I mean? Who wants that? You don't want flesh ripping action.

1:04:37 Adam No, Adam.

1:04:38 Best Of No, you want something that fits. One of my good friends, Anka Radakovic, sex expert, said, every woman, girls back me up. You want something that fits, right? You know what I'm saying?

1:04:48 Adam Right.

1:04:48 Best Of Am I right or wrong?

1:04:49 Drew Yes, that's right.

1:04:50 Best Of Not too big, not too small. You just want something that's like clatter, fits.

1:04:53 Drew What do you hang out with Anka for?

1:04:55 Best Of She's a good friend.

1:04:56 Best Of She's like everybody else.

1:04:57 Best Of She just wants love.

1:04:58 Best Of She's a very good girl.

1:04:59 Best Of She's hard to find.

1:05:01 Adam She's got a script.

1:05:01 Best Of Especially when you're a sex writer because there are expectations there too.

1:05:06 Adam Let me tell you, for a chick to be a sex expert, here's all she has to do. Admit to sleeping with a bunch of guys and dye her hair some weird color and be pissed off at her parents. She becomes a sex expert. It's very easy for a woman to do this.

1:05:19 Best Of You know, Dr. Drew, we're going to take ourselves a little break.

1:05:22 Best Of It's homecoming time. We're all broken teacups.

1:05:26 Caller Homecoming time.

1:05:28 Best Of Love the broken heart in you. Be back in a minute, Loveline.

1:05:39 Adam All right. How dare you make fun of my two favorite celebrities, David Alan Greer and Ron Jeremy.

1:05:46 Drew I love the fact that David's bike is off. There we go.

1:05:48 Adam There we go.

1:05:49 Best Of I'm not bipolar, but can I get your home number? Cause I really want to call you on night at four in the morning.

1:05:55 Best Of Dr. Drew, it's me, David Loveline.

1:05:59 Caller Shut up!

1:06:01 Adam I'm having a spell.

1:06:02 Best Of We've got about 35 minutes and I want to help some babies. Let's see how some kids got here.

1:06:06 Adam Should we do that?

1:06:07 Best Of Now put the funky stuff.

1:06:08 Caller Bridget.

1:06:10 Best Of Hi.

1:06:10 Adam You're 15. What's up?

1:06:12 Best Of About three weeks ago, I had unprotected sex with this guy who's had sex with a lot of people. He's a raver and does a lot of drugs. I'm showing you how the babies are.

1:06:23 Adam Oh, yes.

1:06:24 Caller You tell me about it.

1:06:25 Best Of Dr. Drew, wasn't I telling you about those guys, the friends of mine, the ravers?

1:06:29 Drew Yeah, you and your friends. Crazy. Nuts.

1:06:33 Best Of I'm afraid of STDs and stuff like that.

1:06:36 Drew And have a pregnancy, yep, all the good.

1:06:39 Best Of It's all good. Well, not pregnancy, because I did have my period, but I'm just wondering, I don't know, about getting tested, because my mom doesn't know I'm sexually active, of course. I mean, I'm 15.

1:06:52 Drew Why don't you go to your doctor or Planned Parenthood, or anywhere.

1:06:55 Adam We've got a Planned Parenthood.

1:06:56 Drew It's confidential, after 14.

1:06:57 Adam They won't even tell you the results. That'd be my policy if I ran a clinic.

1:07:02 Best Of She sounds so mature for 15.

1:07:03 Adam We don't even tell you the results.

1:07:05 Best Of You really do. She's like, you know.

1:07:07 Adam Yeah. Just go to one of those clinics, all right?

1:07:09 Drew Remember, if you use your insurance, though, an EOB might get sent to your parents. Yeah. And the expansion of benefits. You've got to watch out for that.

1:07:15 Adam Oh, boy. What? Yes, Bridget?

1:07:18 Best Of Oh, I was going to say, my friend's now interested in him, and, you know, he's interested in her. I don't really know how to tell her that, you know, he's dirty or something.

1:07:30 Best Of Why can't you tell her that?

1:07:32 Drew Because she's into him. Yeah.

1:07:34 Adam You're into him, right, Bridget?

1:07:35 Best Of No.

1:07:36 Best Of No, my friend is into him.

1:07:37 Adam Why did you sleep with him if you don't like him?

1:07:41 Best Of I used to like him.

1:07:42 Adam Right. That was a whole three weeks ago. This is the new Bridget.

1:07:46 Best Of I want to meet a girl like Bridget, but who's 35. You know, that you can just go like, I met this guy, and, like, we had sex and stuff, and he's, like, an actor.

1:07:55 Adam And he's really dirty.

1:07:56 Best Of Yeah, and he got me down here in my stinky spot and stuff, and he's on TV and stuff, and, like, my friend likes him, but I don't like him anymore.

1:08:04 Adam And he was, like, really funny on TV and, like, on Living Color and Dag and stuff, but he got all weird and serious.

1:08:10 Best Of Yeah, and he just kept flapping his jibber jabber. He talks really fast for, like, hours at a time, and then, like, for days, he's just almost comatose. Uh-oh.

1:08:18 Adam He cried right before he came.

1:08:23 Caller And then he called his mom in Detroit.

1:08:26 Adam And then he started yelling at her.

1:08:27 Caller I do, yeah.

1:08:28 Best Of 35-year-old chicks are like, what does this mean?

1:08:30 Best Of What does this mean?

1:08:31 Best Of We're talking, what does this mean?

1:08:32 Caller Where's this leading?

1:08:34 Adam He did this remake of Hogan's Hero.

1:08:37 Caller And scene, scene.

1:08:40 Best Of Oh, you bastard. Oh, I'm sorry.

1:08:44 Caller Brandon, Brandon.

1:08:45 Adam Take it out on the gloves.

1:08:46 Caller What's up, Brandon?

1:08:47 Adam All right, man.

1:08:48 Best Of You know, Adam got some skills.

1:08:50 Drew Hey, Brandon's talking to you.

1:08:50 Caller Oh.

1:09:22 Drew Adam, I can see it now. Loveline, the musical.

1:09:25 Caller Yeah.

1:09:25 Caller Oh, my God. Yeah. That was wonderful.

1:09:27 Adam David Allen Greener's most challenging role ever. As the nappy haired Adam Corolla.

1:09:32 Best Of Somebody pick up the phone. Oops, we have another caller. Wait five minutes. I'll be back soon.

1:09:37 Drew Snappy dance. Numbers.

1:09:39 Caller That's right.

1:09:41 Drew A lyric sense.

1:09:42 Caller Yeah.

1:09:43 Best Of And the big song.

1:09:43 Drew Huge range.

1:09:44 Caller Love line. Love line.

1:09:48 Best Of We have lines for love.

1:09:50 Caller And love lines.

1:09:51 Best Of Love lines.

1:09:52 Caller Love lines.

1:09:53 Best Of And soon to the Pantages Theater. Love line.

1:09:59 Adam Jeffrey Lines calls it a puckish satire.

1:10:03 Caller David Allen Grier is Adam Corolla.

1:10:06 Best Of Hello, can I take your call?

1:10:09 Caller Oh, it's 1035.

1:10:17 Drew Andrew Lloyd Webber will write it. He'll pen it. I can see it now.

1:10:21 Adam Run, don't walk to the theater.

1:10:28 Caller All right, okay, okay, okay.

1:10:29 Drew Don't cry for me, all you screwballs.

1:10:32 Adam Roy Scheider puts in a Tony caliber performances, Dr. Drew, in the searing dramatic scene.

1:10:40 Best Of You call yourself a doctor? I called you, I needed help. And you laughed at me.

1:10:47 Drew Brandon, what's the deal?

1:10:51 Caller What's up to David?

1:10:52 Best Of Hey, what's up, man?

1:10:53 Caller How you doing? I'm just, I'm a big fan of the In Living Color.

1:10:56 Best Of Yeah, thanks a lot, man.

1:10:57 Caller And I'm trying to get out to California and I'm just wondering, I want to become an actor, actually. And, you know, I look at your work and I look at, I mean, I look at a lot of people on In Living Color. I'm a really big Jim Carrey fan.

1:11:12 Best Of Right, right.

1:11:13 Caller In fact, didn't you, you were on Rosio Downo the other day, right?

1:11:15 Best Of I was, I was. I saw Jim over there, man.

1:11:17 Caller Excuse me?

1:11:17 Best Of He was on there. Jim was on the show with me.

1:11:19 Caller You were on the same show with him?

1:11:20 Best Of Mm-hmm.

1:11:21 Adam Does he know who you are now?

1:11:23 Best Of Yeah, we kicked it.

1:11:23 Best Of We talked a little bit.

1:11:24 Best Of Let me ask you something, Brandon.

1:11:26 Caller Excuse me, fellas. Excuse me, kid.

1:11:27 Best Of I'm jumping up in here.

1:11:28 Best Of Is this a sexual question?

1:11:29 Drew No, no. Come on. Let him.

1:11:30 Best Of Cut him off. Cut him off.

1:11:31 Drew Cut him off.

1:11:31 Caller There are people in need. There are people in need.

1:11:35 Adam You just did a 20-minute dance number.

1:11:37 Caller Are you kidding me?

1:11:38 Best Of I did that to reach out for the kids out there. All right.

1:11:41 Adam I understand.

1:11:42 Best Of They were the sexually dysfunctional. Go ahead. Continue, my friend.

1:11:44 Caller I'm just wondering what's the best way to break in the business?

1:11:47 Adam Nobody ever.

1:11:48 Best Of Where are you at? What city do you live in?

1:11:49 Caller I live in New Baltimore. It's out by Mount Clemens.

1:11:52 Best Of I tell you what you do. I tell you what you do.

1:11:54 Drew What state?

1:11:55 Best Of That's Michigan. I'm from Detroit. Here's what you do. Any community, you guys have a theater. You probably have a theater company doing corny shows, corny plays. If you're in school, you start there. You start in your church group. Any place to start.

1:12:12 Drew How do they prevent from getting sucked into that vortex?

1:12:14 Caller I'm taking classes at Second City.

1:12:17 Best Of That's a good place. Go to Chicago. It's a great place. They have a lot of theater companies. Chicago is a wonderful city.

1:12:24 Drew How do they break out of that into something more substantial?

1:12:26 Best Of You got to come to LA. You got to come to New York.

1:12:29 Drew What do they do?

1:12:29 Adam Oral sex.

1:12:30 Best Of Hit the pavement, baby. You get the pavement.

1:12:32 Best Of Most people don't go about acting like... Beg your pardon?

1:12:35 Caller You got to start in porn, don't you?

1:12:36 Adam Yes.

1:12:38 Drew That really is... Not everyone has to follow David's path.

1:12:41 Adam No.

1:12:42 Drew Wow. Hold on.

1:12:44 Best Of Let's pump the brakes there, Mr. Mean Spirit.

1:12:47 Drew Finish what you're saying.

1:12:48 Best Of I'm saying you can act where you're at.

1:12:50 Drew You start... Pound the pavement?

1:12:52 Best Of Pound the pavement. I was saying that most people don't go about acting like it's an eight-hour job, meaning you work nine to five, you're in class, you're hitting the pavement, you're trying to meet people, you go about it like it is a business. And I'm not saying eventually it will pay off because it's not a democracy, but hopefully you'll get into something. Someone notices you, passes your name on, and you blow a couple of people in your face.

1:13:15 Adam Don't you find seriously most people spend more time strategizing about their career than they should just go do it, just do it, just own your craft, and if you're any good, it'll work out.

1:13:27 Best Of Absolutely.

1:13:28 Adam Don't try to work out a plan and fool people.

1:13:31 Best Of No, and don't be the 35-year-old in acting class going, I had a breakthrough in the mirror exercise, Adam. I followed Jerome, remember, I told you about Jerome, the whole exercise today. You don't want to be that guy.

1:13:43 Adam Right. Now, let's all get in a circle and lift an imaginary sewer cover.

1:13:48 Drew That's kind of weird acting, though.

1:13:49 Adam It's heavy. It weighs a lot. Slowly, slowly. Mark, you're over your head. Everyone's at their knees.

1:13:55 Best Of Gwyneth Paltrow, my dream girl, my Gwyneth, my Gwyneth. I love you, Gwynny. She never took an acting class in her life. And let me tell you something else, Mr. Naysayer. Judy Garland never owned a house. Did you guys know that? American tragedy.

1:14:09 Adam It blew away, didn't it?

1:14:10 Best Of American tragedy.

1:14:11 Adam Didn't Judy Garland's house suck up with a tornado.

1:14:12 Best Of Mickey Rooney said, told that story on the great David Letterman show. Judy never owned a house.

1:14:17 Adam He's the gem that Mickey Rooney Hello.

1:14:19 Best Of Hi.

1:14:20 Best Of How you doing?

1:14:21 Adam You're 19, what's up?

1:14:22 Best Of Elaine, how you doing, baby?

1:14:23 Best Of I'm fine. I have a bit of like a big gigantic dilemma. What's up? I, about two months ago now, I, like I got off of these birth control pills cause they weren't like making me regular. And I got onto these new ones, like I was supposed to do a Sunday start. Well, the night before, I had sex with this guy.

1:14:42 Adam Oh, boy.

1:14:43 Best Of And it's like I just met him that night and I had sex with him and I was supposed to start my pills that Sunday, so I started them anyway.

1:14:50 Adam Well, wait a minute, Elaine, be fair to yourself, honey. You met him in the early evening and you didn't let him get on top.

1:14:55 Best Of No, absolutely didn't. I, like, talked to him for about three hours.

1:14:58 Adam Oh, you, what time did you meet him?

1:15:00 Best Of I met him like around, I'd say around 10.30 at night.

1:15:03 Adam Oh, okay.

1:15:03 Best Of And you let him get in your drawers after three hours of chitty-chat?

1:15:07 Best Of He's really nice.

1:15:09 Best Of Dr. Drew, where can I meet these women at?

1:15:12 Best Of I don't know, that usually never happens. I'm not like that at all.

1:15:14 Best Of You never did that at all?

1:15:15 Best Of No.

1:15:15 Best Of Was it good? Was the sexual experience good?

1:15:17 Best Of Yes, it was very good.

1:15:18 Best Of A lot of times that hook up, you know, the booty call doesn't always work out.

1:15:23 Best Of It's just like you make sparks with him and I made sparks with him and, like, it made it good.

1:15:28 Best Of I hear you, I hear you. Did you let him tap that ass once or twice or did you just hit it once?

1:15:32 Best Of We're still having sex.

1:15:34 Best Of You are? You're having sex right now as we speak?

1:15:35 Best Of No, not right now.

1:15:36 Adam Oh, you're on the phone. Alright, so now what's the problem?

1:15:39 Best Of Well, also I've been taking some acne medication.

1:15:43 Best Of Right.

1:15:43 Best Of And which one?

1:15:45 Best Of Let's see, it is doxycycline.

1:15:48 Drew Okay, right.

1:15:49 Best Of And I've been taking that and I don't know if I'm getting either side effects because they also told me when I started taking this medicine that it could cancel out the effect of my tills.

1:15:57 Drew It sure could.

1:15:58 Adam Yeah. I think chicks with zits put out more. What did you say?

1:16:02 Best Of Yeah, I don't have a lot of zits.

1:16:03 Adam But enough to put out, right?

1:16:05 Drew But look, you've got some concerns here, Elaine. You missed your pills, you had sex before, you were protected, and you're on doxycycline, all of which can make the contraceptions get effective. Sure, quiet.

1:16:17 Adam You're going to wake David up.

1:16:19 Best Of I'm looking for any little signs because I already had one. I already have one kid.

1:16:23 Drew Great. You better get a pregnancy test. And why don't you-

1:16:26 Best Of Does it count if I've had my period? Like, I've had my period twice already.

1:16:30 Adam That was a miscarriage.

1:16:31 Best Of Hey, Dr. Drew, let me ask you a question. I once dated this girl who wouldn't get on the pill. Yeah. And I said, well, get on the pill was the worst kind of- She got on the pill and she went crazy. Like, it like affected her moods and stuff.

1:16:44 Drew Yeah, sure can. But do you date women? They're kind of on the edge of-

1:16:46 Best Of I like the nutty nuts.

1:16:47 Best Of I like the nutty nutties.

1:16:48 Drew And so you put a little biology in there, a little pharmacology in there. I tell you what. They are firecrackers. Yes.

1:16:54 Best Of Oh, by golly.

1:16:56 Best Of God bless the mentally ill, Dr. Drew. That's my dating pool.

1:16:59 Adam You date are so chemically imbalanced. They're not. Or precariously balanced.

1:17:03 Best Of I joke. I do joke.

1:17:04 Adam A little too much salt on the celery will send them over the top.

1:17:08 Best Of That was in the past. I'm with someone now who is very special.

1:17:12 Adam Special lady.

1:17:12 Best Of Very wonderful. Very wonderful. She's with me. Hey, man.

1:17:15 Adam Yeah. Do you introduce her as your lady friend?

1:17:18 Best Of I introduce her as my gash. And she's always lippin off.

1:17:21 Best Of Hey, that's no way to introduce your mom.

1:17:24 Best Of You know. We're going to break.

1:17:26 Adam No, we're not. I want to talk to Alex. Alex?

1:17:28 Caller Hi.

1:17:29 Adam You're 17?

1:17:30 Caller Yeah.

1:17:30 Adam Did you finish with Elaine, by the way?

1:17:32 Drew Kind of. Just that she's not adequately protected as the message should be. He needs to use a condom.

1:17:37 Adam Alex? What's your problem?

1:17:39 Best Of I have like these really heat pimples on my tool.

1:17:42 Best Of No, you don't. No, you don't. How old are you, Alex?

1:17:45 Best Of I'm 17.

1:17:46 Best Of You're 12.

1:17:46 Caller What year were you born?

1:17:48 Best Of Come on. I'm 83.

1:17:50 Adam All right. What month?

1:17:52 Best Of July.

1:17:53 Adam I see. But that's his real birthday.

1:17:54 Best Of We got a fake caller.

1:17:55 Adam Yeah.

1:17:56 Best Of Drew, trace the call because I'm getting in the four wheel. I'm going over there and kicking some butt. Come on, trace it. Trace it. Keep talking, Alex.

1:18:02 Best Of I really want you to, guys, if you could like help me with this.

1:18:04 Drew You mean you have some carbuncles, like?

1:18:06 Best Of Yeah. I wanted to know if you take like acne medication for it.

1:18:10 Drew No. Do you have just like one or two of these things or you have multiple?

1:18:13 Caller Drew's a fake.

1:18:15 Best Of There's like one.

1:18:16 Drew Yeah. You get these carbuncles, basically.

1:18:19 Adam Listen, anything that adds width to my penis, I leave it be.

1:18:23 Drew Yeah.

1:18:25 Best Of Does it have a head on it?

1:18:26 Drew Usually they do, but you can ask him.

1:18:28 Caller It's a fake.

1:18:30 Drew Does the pus come out if they rupture?

1:18:33 Best Of Yeah, like just the stuff comes out of it.

1:18:36 Drew What's with your nose? You just have a bad cold or what's going on here?

1:18:38 Best Of Yeah.

1:18:39 Drew You have asthma too or anything like that?

1:18:40 Caller Yeah, I just have a bad cold.

1:18:41 Best Of Adam, let me ask you a question.

1:18:43 Best Of This is David Allen.

1:18:44 Best Of You're not Alex. You're not snorting that goofy dust, are you, son?

1:18:49 Best Of No.

1:18:49 Best Of Speak up.

1:18:50 Best Of No, I'm not.

1:18:51 Best Of I want to hear your voice, boy. You stay away from that goofy dust because it makes you goofy, Alex.

1:18:56 Drew Be careful with those car bumpers so they can really get infected.

1:19:00 Best Of Like, I'm a drum major for the Reseda band and...

1:19:03 Drew A what, Aider?

1:19:04 Best Of He's a drum major.

1:19:06 Best Of I'm the leader of the Reseda band.

1:19:08 Best Of Of the Reseda band? And your name is Alex?

1:19:10 Drew Yeah.

1:19:10 Best Of Wait a minute. I know you, man. Wait a minute.

1:19:13 Adam You know this guy?

1:19:14 Best Of No, I don't know him.

1:19:15 Best Of But it's like when I'm trying to leave the band...

1:19:18 Adam Yeah, your penis gets in the way? Yeah, all right.

1:19:20 Best Of It bangs on the drum?

1:19:21 Adam He's an idiot.

1:19:22 Best Of Good night.

1:19:24 Best Of You know he was right...

1:19:24 Adam Drew, why did you want to talk? You didn't know that was bogus?

1:19:27 Drew I couldn't tell.

1:19:28 Adam David Allen Grier is bipolar and he does this show twice a year. I am not bipolar. I'm defending you. The point is he knew.

1:19:36 Drew You know, you're right.

1:19:36 Adam You understand?

1:19:37 Caller I am not bipolar.

1:19:38 Caller My girlfriends are not mentally ill.

1:19:40 Drew I'm always humbled in the presence of greatness.

1:19:42 Adam David Allen, he has a seventh grade education. He's been doing coke for the last 15 years. And he knew it was a fake call.

1:19:51 Best Of I did.

1:19:52 Adam I did.

1:19:52 Best Of I'm humbled. Let's get back to Love Line the musical.

1:19:54 Adam That was great.

1:19:55 Best Of Did you guys record that?

1:19:56 Best Of Because I can't repeat it. I'm like a gypsy that way.

1:19:59 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break.

1:20:00 Best Of No more breaks.

1:20:01 Best Of Come back.

1:20:01 Best Of Come on. Next call.

1:20:02 Best Of Put the next call through in, honey.

1:20:04 Adam We'll be right back.

1:20:26 Best Of You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio. 100.7 The Buzz.

1:20:40 Adam Yeah, it is Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. David Allen Grier is our guest tonight. Star of Dag, that stands for David Allen Grier. Tuesday Nights, nine o'clock.

1:20:50 Best Of 9.30, man, what is up with you, dude?

1:20:54 Best Of You know what I used to hate when you guys did the speed round?

1:20:56 Caller I really, ooh, I hate that.

1:20:57 Caller Lighting round.

1:20:58 Best Of Oh my God, don't do that.

1:21:00 Caller I hate that, too.

1:21:01 Best Of Don't do that.

1:21:01 Best Of And there's some, I need to talk to you, Adam. There's sometimes when, Adam, you go on these rants.

1:21:06 Adam Oh, yeah, they're weak.

1:21:08 Best Of They're weak, man.

1:21:09 Best Of I know, and you know when they're weak.

1:21:10 Best Of And like, you could tell when Adam is like, he starts pushing. Yeah, he starts pushing. He's in his like, Lenny Bruce mode.

1:21:16 Best Of And one of your boys is at home giving you pounds. Like, dude, when you took my hubcaps for 22 minutes, dude, oh, dude, it was all that, dude.

1:21:23 Drew That's as opposed to singing the musical version of Love Line, which people will be moved and moved to tears by.

1:21:29 Adam David, first off, I have two things to say.

1:21:30 Best Of Oh, you bastard. Hold on, hold on, hold on, Adam.

1:21:33 Adam Was that a spot?

1:21:33 Best Of You really hurt me.

1:21:34 Drew Yeah, I think it was. I'm sorry.

1:21:35 Caller You really hurt me, Drew.

1:21:36 Adam Well, he's very defensive. He defends me.

1:21:38 Drew He's protective. I'm trying to help my bro here.

1:21:41 Adam Listen, I'd like to defend myself on my long jags that go nowhere.

1:21:46 Caller This is going to be a long jag.

1:21:47 Drew Oh, boy.

1:21:47 Adam This will be an ironic long jag around about a jag. Nobody tells me they're good or interesting. I don't have any homeboys at home that are kissing my ass. Everyone says they're long and arduous.

1:21:59 Drew And they suck.

1:21:59 Adam Thank you.

1:22:00 Best Of Just don't ever be a parent, because if your son comes home late, look out.

1:22:04 Adam Oh, my God.

1:22:05 Caller Sit down. What do you want it?

1:22:08 Adam He'll be begging for a time out.

1:22:10 Drew Olly?

1:22:10 Adam Dad, I got you the belt. Please beat me. Anything. Just shut up.

1:22:13 Drew Hold on.

1:22:14 Caller Hold on.

1:22:15 Drew Olly.

1:22:16 Best Of Howie or Olly?

1:22:16 Drew Olly.

1:22:17 Best Of Olly.

1:22:18 Caller Olly.

1:22:18 Best Of That's a beautiful name. How old are you?

1:22:20 Best Of 13.

1:22:21 Adam What's up, Olly?

1:22:23 Best Of I want to know if it's possible to be like on and off of depression. Yeah.

1:22:27 Drew Especially at your age, people can feel bad and not so bad. How bad do you feel when you're feeling bad?

1:22:33 Best Of Like, um, I mean, like in my room all day, and I'll be like crying or I just won't want to do anything.

1:22:41 Drew How often does that happen?

1:22:43 Best Of Well, right now, it's been happening a lot.

1:22:45 Drew How often?

1:22:47 Best Of Maybe about twice a week.

1:22:50 Adam Do you have anything good to be depressed about?

1:22:52 Best Of Well, about two years ago, my grandma died. And after that, I was like, kind of like, I don't know, I was suicidal.

1:23:02 Adam There's something more than that.

1:23:04 Drew Is there depression in your family?

1:23:05 Adam She didn't leave you anything? It's got to be more than that.

1:23:09 Drew Depression in your family?

1:23:09 Best Of Yeah, she left me something.

1:23:11 Adam I see.

1:23:11 Best Of Um, well, we had like mental illness in our family. Yeah.

1:23:15 Caller What kind of mental illness?

1:23:17 Best Of I don't really know.

1:23:18 Best Of Do you have any older sisters? Are they dating?

1:23:20 Best Of No, I don't know.

1:23:21 Best Of Oh, okay, darling. You guys take this call.

1:23:23 Drew But, Olly, it's possible that maybe you inherited a genetic potential for depression. It's possible that you haven't grown up around parents, the mental illness that sort of set you up for this. So it's a situation where there seems to be more than just grieving over the loss of someone. And indeed, after six months, the grieving should be concluded.

1:23:40 Adam How about if you just listen to that footloose song every time you feel bad?

1:23:43 Best Of Which song is that? Which one are you talking about?

1:23:45 Caller Now I gotta cut loose, footloose, kick off your Sunday shoes, jeez, Louie.

1:23:54 Caller Yeah, that song.

1:23:55 Best Of Do they allow dancing in your school?

1:23:57 Caller In my school, yeah.

1:23:58 Adam Yeah, because I saw that movie.

1:24:00 Drew You want to get evaluated to see if maybe some medication might help you out.

1:24:03 Best Of Speaking of medication, Dr. Drew, do you have some? I need some sleeping pills and I need the right medication.

1:24:09 Drew I swear to God, between the two of you.

1:24:10 Best Of No, no, I'm saying the truth because I have sleep deficits.

1:24:15 Drew So does this guy.

1:24:16 Best Of I don't sleep and then I have to work. And here's what it is. I go to sleep and then I get anxiety because I count my hours. Because I know that I have a 14-hour day and I'm like, okay, now I'm not, now it's 10 o'clock.

1:24:30 Best Of I got to be up at six now.

1:24:31 Best Of Oh, now I can't.

1:24:32 Best Of And then that makes me not sleep more.

1:24:34 Drew Yes, right.

1:24:35 Best Of So I need some beans, brother.

1:24:37 Best Of Something that mixes well with vodka, hold on, and gin.

1:24:41 Best Of No, I don't drink, I don't drink at all. But you know, it's sleep and go.

1:24:44 Drew Sebastian, 25. Sebastian.

1:24:47 Caller David, how are you? What's up?

1:24:48 Best Of What's up, Sebastian?

1:24:49 Caller Dude, I enjoyed Dag so much and I wanted to tell you that guy that was co-starring the white boy on the B Team.

1:24:55 Best Of Absolutely, Steve Dunham.

1:24:57 Caller Fine looking in that secret service.

1:24:58 Drew You're gay.

1:25:00 Adam Sebastian, you're gay?

1:25:02 Caller Well, I'm known here at Rocky Horror in Tucson as the world's favorite bisexual. Wow.

1:25:06 Best Of Really?

1:25:07 Drew What world's favorite?

1:25:08 Best Of Steve Dunham is a straight shooter, my friend, but he is an actor who came in to audition.

1:25:12 Caller That's my problem. I'm only attracted to guys I can't have, generally only straight guys.

1:25:16 Best Of Right, I hear you.

1:25:17 Best Of Right.

1:25:17 Best Of A lot of you gay guys like that. You like, what is it with in the gay world when all the gay guys, they want to turn out the straightest guy in America like, I'm sleeping with Jerry Falwell.

1:25:26 Best Of I swear I am. He's sexy.

1:25:29 Caller Well, Jerry doesn't do anything for me, but hey, I have a favor.

1:25:32 Best Of What?

1:25:32 Caller If I told you I was rolling a tape right now, would you sing something for my voicemail?

1:25:36 Best Of No. Next caller.

1:25:37 Caller Oh, come on.

1:25:38 Best Of Next caller. We're helping people tonight.

1:25:41 Adam David doesn't like the bias. He told me during the break.

1:25:44 Caller Well, thanks guys.

1:25:45 Best Of Thanks a lot, man. Were you in the Glam Slam?

1:25:46 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:25:48 Adam Take care of yourself. All right. Where are we going here, Drew?

1:25:50 Drew I'm just looking here.

1:25:51 Adam I see. Just browsing. Oh, I didn't want to talk to this.

1:25:54 Drew That's fine.

1:25:55 Adam Yolanda?

1:25:56 Best Of Yeah.

1:25:56 Adam You're 20?

1:25:57 Best Of Yeah.

1:25:58 Adam What's up?

1:25:59 Caller Hey, well, I finally broke out like this weekend and went out. I don't go out a whole lot because I don't know, I don't have sex a whole lot with different people. I'm kind of like quiet.

1:26:12 Adam Yeah.

1:26:13 Drew And you had sex with somebody this weekend?

1:26:16 Caller Yeah.

1:26:17 Drew What's going on?

1:26:18 Best Of Was it a hookup, a one night booty call?

1:26:19 Best Of What's going on?

1:26:20 Caller Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, that's how I like to do it.

1:26:25 Best Of Was alcohol involved?

1:26:27 Best Of Was alcohol involved?

1:26:28 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:26:28 Best Of Did you get loose now?

1:26:29 Adam Yeah.

1:26:30 Caller What's the question?

1:26:30 Adam Some heroin was involved too.

1:26:32 Caller Now I'm like itching real bad.

1:26:34 Caller Down there?

1:26:35 Best Of Itching, right. What'd he do to you, baby? Did he put his nasty stick in you?

1:26:38 Caller Oh, everywhere. I mean, God, it was crazy.

1:26:43 Adam Hey, Yolanda.

1:26:44 Caller Well, hold on, hold on.

1:26:45 Best Of Let me get this number, man.

1:26:45 Caller Hold on, hold on.

1:26:46 Adam Are you a drug addict?

1:26:48 Caller No.

1:26:48 Adam No, don't you drugs?

1:26:49 Caller Well, Yolanda.

1:26:50 Drew Still drinking? Okay.

1:26:52 Caller I drink occasionally.

1:26:53 Drew Yolanda, burning, itching and discharge is...

1:26:55 Caller No, it just itches. It's just, I mean...

1:26:58 Drew Okay, well, that's that's...

1:26:59 Best Of Did you use a condom?

1:26:59 Best Of Do you remember?

1:27:01 Caller Oh, of course.

1:27:02 Best Of Wait, no, I don't believe that.

1:27:04 Caller No.

1:27:05 Best Of Of course. This is an STD.

1:27:07 Caller Actually, we used quite a few.

1:27:09 Best Of Really?

1:27:10 Caller How many did you use, baby?

1:27:11 Caller Um, about six.

1:27:13 Adam Six?

1:27:14 Best Of No, she said six.

1:27:17 Drew Whatever, Yolanda. But it's a sexually transmitted disease, OK? You got to get checked out right away.

1:27:22 Caller Oh, really?

1:27:23 Caller Yeah, I'm sure of it.

1:27:24 Caller Well, that's terrible. You know, you hold back and you wait and then go out.

1:27:27 Best Of Hey, baby, that's it. But you know, an anonymous booty call, that's what happens.

1:27:32 Caller You roll the dice.

1:27:33 Best Of You roll the dice.

1:27:35 Adam Jesus Christ.

1:27:37 Best Of Yolanda.

1:27:37 Caller Christy?

1:27:38 Best Of Yeah.

1:27:39 Caller You're 20?

1:27:40 Best Of Yeah.

1:27:40 Adam Quick question for David.

1:27:41 Best Of Yes, I was wanting to know if he was ever shy when he started acting.

1:27:45 Adam Ever?

1:27:46 Best Of I was, no. Yeah, I'm not like this when you get to know me. I'm like, I'm really like, honestly, when I go home, I'm definitely, I'm like a policeman.

1:27:56 Drew He's more boring than Adam is.

1:27:58 Best Of No, I'm not boring, Dr. Drew, but I'm not like crazy guy. Like at home, if I come home, you're my little surf betty and stuff.

1:28:04 Caller Like, honey, what'd you do tonight?

1:28:06 Best Of I don't know.

1:28:07 Caller Right, right.

1:28:08 Adam Well, that's bipolar.

1:28:09 Best Of Oh, stop it. I was a class clown. When I was in school, I was a class clown.

1:28:13 Adam Right, longing for the attention you never got from his parents. Right. Exactly.

1:28:17 Best Of Oh, stop, stop.

1:28:18 Adam Too wrapped up in their own careers.

1:28:19 Best Of You know, what is normal for you two knuckleheads, huh? Is there such a thing?

1:28:22 Caller No.

1:28:23 Best Of No, of course not, Dr. Drew.

1:28:25 Caller No, but it ain't you, baby.

1:28:26 Best Of Dr. Drew, yeah, well, I'm normal, okay? There's people out there who love me and they love me for who and what I am.

1:28:33 Adam That's right. And every time you talk about me, Adam, you dance real fast to make sure they do.

1:28:39 Caller It really hurts.

1:28:41 Caller I come here every time I put you on the show. I was just kidding.

1:28:45 Best Of You just beat me up.

1:28:47 Caller I'm an asshole.

1:28:50 Adam You want to go for a jacuzzi or something after the show?

1:28:53 Caller No!

1:28:54 Best Of I just want, I just stop it.

1:28:59 Adam Unless I know a little out of the way place, we can be left alone.

1:29:01 Caller Stop! Adam, I'm serious!

1:29:06 Caller Dr. Drew, can I have some sleeping pills, maybe some diluted?

1:29:10 Best Of Oh, Valium, 25 ml.

1:29:12 Best Of God, nothing works. I thought I was gonna get some drugs out of him.

1:29:35 Adam All right, everybody, that is it. Dang.

1:29:37 Caller Wait a minute, wait a minute.

1:29:38 Caller 930.

1:29:40 Best Of Guys, let's take a call. Come on.

1:29:41 Drew Now we're done.

1:29:42 Caller We lose the satellite in 20 seconds.

1:29:45 Caller Put me through to Kimmy. Kimmy, you're 12.

1:29:47 Caller What's going on?

1:29:49 Caller Robin, Robin, you're 22.

1:29:51 Adam Thank you, babe.

1:29:51 Best Of And you have a carbuncle on your what part of your?

1:29:54 Adam Loving David Allen Grier.

1:29:55 Caller We'll be back.

1:29:55 Adam And until next time, this is Adam Crawford, Dr. Drew. And David Allen Grier saying mahalo.

1:30:00 Best Of Just like a little plop here, a little skeet there, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, everywhere.

1:30:05 Caller Everybody, everybody skeet, skeet. That's how you do your three songs with me.

1:30:11 Caller Hello? Is this Loveline?

1:30:13 Caller Call 1-800-LOVE-190. This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Anne Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, January 1, 2001