Episode 1000754886956

1:02 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. Guess who's back? Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, big episode of The Man Show on tonight.

1:26 Drew Uh-oh.

1:26 Adam Had to squeeze that in.

1:27 Drew Which one?

1:28 Adam I don't know.

1:29 Drew It's a big one.

1:30 Adam Sunday night, though. They're all winners. That's how I know it. They're like my children.

1:34 Drew Yes.

1:34 Adam They're like my 26 children that I get each year.

1:37 Drew Just let me know when the manual out's on.

1:39 Adam Masculine?

1:39 Drew Masculine, excuse me.

1:40 Adam The detergent, especially formulated to remove protein stains.

1:44 Drew Male protein stains.

1:45 Adam Male protein?

1:46 Drew Yes.

1:46 Adam Yeah. I don't know when the manual out's on. That's why you got to watch it every week. Well, I'm just back from New York. I was...

1:53 Drew Did you go down to Ground Zero?

1:54 Adam Yes, I did go down to Ground Zero.

1:57 Drew Did you get a tour of it or just walked down there?

1:59 Adam No, I just went down as far as I could get down, which was pretty far down, actually.

2:04 Drew Yeah, you can get way down there, yeah.

2:05 Adam About five blocks away. Not five blocks the way you would picture them in your neighborhood. They're very short. Each block's probably a couple hundred feet. So, you know, 200 yards away kind of thing. And, you know, the thing that's, besides how massive the thing is and what it looks like color-wise, Jimmy said to me, wow, there's a lot of wood in that World Trade Center, he says. And I was getting prepared for an argument, because he can argue anything, as you know. What it is is, I said, no, there's not a drop of wood in there. That's just rust and cement and charred stuff. But from the distance you're looking at, it looks like a huge pile. The only thing you can liken it to, in a way, is like when the timber industry does a bunch of clear cutting, and they put everything down, the flume down the river, and it gets piles up or something.

3:00 Drew But the pile's like eight stories high.

3:03 Adam I know, but from where you're standing, you can't even see around it, you can just see the front of it.

3:07 Drew That's right.

3:08 Adam And it's daunting. And the other thing that's amazing about the thing, is it's still burning.

3:13 Drew Yeah, still, did you go at night? No, I did not go at night. That smoke coming off at night with the lights on it, it looks like, I mean, like a movie set.

3:22 Adam Yeah, it really is what movies are made of. It's like mood lighting with the haze coming off, it's as if someone's pumping it in. But I was there two days ago, and it's been a few weeks plus, and smoke's pouring out of that thing. I mean, it's not on fire, but it is still hot. Hot, still smoldering. There's material that is burning. It's weird because so much of that building is concrete, and steel, and glass.

3:56 Drew What's burning?

3:57 Adam And drywall, gypsum, acoustic ceiling tiles, and aluminum tracks, and grease, and cables. And it's like, what is still burning down there? And there's a couple of things you figure out from these sort of things, which is, when fire gets hot enough, everything burns at a certain point. Steel I-beams obviously begin to burn at a certain point, and that may be part of it. But anyway, very sobering being down at ground zero a couple days ago, or at least as close as I could. I left early this morning, 6 a.m. from my hotel in New York.

4:38 Drew It was 3 a.m. Pacific time.

4:39 Adam Good thing I went out and partied and drank like a fish last night. And I got to the airport three hours early. Was upset to find out that no booze served in New York before noon. Did not know this. I am going to have to start traveling with a flask. Because let me tell you, especially since, Drew, you'll back me up. I used to get stewed on the flight before the whole terrorist scare.

5:06 Oh, yeah.

5:07 Adam Now, I embalm myself before, you know, they have to roll me on to the plane. I'm using the vomit bag before the plane starts moving.

5:16 Drew Nice. Good times.

5:18 Adam I mean, but listen, am I right? I mean, come on, you're flying out at JFK. You think you're just going to sit there with three cups of coffee and you're like a bear claw?

5:26 Drew I did.

5:26 Adam You're going insane.

5:27 Drew I did last week and it's an eerie feeling you get on that United 767 or something like that.

5:33 Adam I was on American 767.

5:36 Drew Yeah, I thought of, oh boy.

5:37 Adam Yeah.

5:38 Drew Man.

5:38 Adam Oh, it was nice.

5:39 Drew Sure.

5:40 Adam Yeah, you went to bed, but I need a Bloody Mary. So no booze before noon in New York, which I didn't know about. And I don't know if it's new. And you always hear them bragging about, you always hear New York bragging, because they go, we serve booze till four and you pussies only serve it till two. But I'd like to come back with, hey, buddy, our bars open at seven when bars should open. You got a big five hours. Anderson is saying six now. Is it six? That's right. Six a.m. Our bars are full six hours. You got to wait in New York to get yourself a snort. So that was that was bad. But wait a minute.

6:21 Drew What?

6:21 Adam Eight.

6:23 Caller They got to wait eight hours.

6:24 Adam No, no, our bars open at six.

6:26 Drew Those goes four a.m. All right, right.

6:27 Adam What I'm saying is, is I mean, I'm in a full six past when ours open in a full eight after years closed. So eat my shorts, New York. We got two hours on you.

6:37 Drew You have to call Giuliani on this one.

6:39 Adam Yeah. And but the good news is, is somehow the plane is like international waters. Cause the second I got on the plane, I ordered the Bloody Mary and here came the Bloody Mary.

6:50 Drew Right.

6:51 Adam And I thought to myself, well, we're still in New York, aren't we? We're on the ground for Christ's sake. As a matter of fact, I'm 20 feet away from the place I was trying to get a drink from when I was inside the airport.

7:00 Drew Maritime law.

7:01 Adam So anyway, I had a few. I had Jim Brown, legendary Hall of Fame running back sitting behind me. Wow. In the plane. Yeah.

7:08 Drew Did you recognize him right away?

7:10 Adam Yeah. No sleeves and the koofy hat. Yeah. Jim Brown dresses like...

7:15 Drew Jim Brown.

7:15 Adam He's a Jim Brown action figure. You know, these guys, you think they put a look on for the sports shows or for the talk shows?

7:23 Drew No.

7:23 Adam Oh, no.

7:23 Drew That's him.

7:24 Adam Jim Brown dresses like Jim Brown. It's like it's a new uniform for him. Sleeveless, all in black, wearing the koofy hat, a weird little sort of African. It's a little bigger in a yarmulke, a little smaller in a top hat. And he's sitting back there, had an uncomfortable conversation with him.

7:42 Drew About what?

7:43 Adam Well, when we landed in LA., there was a bomb threat in the airport at LAX today, which was great because our plane landed like a half hour early. And by the way, anyone who's ever flown, you see what happens to whatever time, whatever, whatever that margin of time is that you land early, see how that is eaten up before you get into the airport. It always gets eaten up.

8:08 Drew Because waiting for somebody to pull out of the gate.

8:10 Adam Out of the 1,000 times I've flown, I've landed 10 times I've landed early. And they're always bragging about it. Well, it looks like we're going to be on the ground about 15 minutes early. And we thought, we're supposed to come in at 1155, but we're going to be touching down about 1125. So it's about a half, they're always bragging. But then you get on the ground, and now you burn it on the ground. Because they go, well, we got here a little bit early, so the gate's not ready. It's like, yeah, no less. We're early. I don't care if it's in the air. I guess now we get to just sit on the tarmac. So we sat out on the tarmac for about 15 minutes. The gate opened up. We pulled into the gate. And now there's a bomb threat on our side of the airport in the terminal. And nobody can get off the plane because the bomb squad's going through the airplane, going through the terminal. And so they figured to be safe from the plane. And I'm just sitting there stewing because now my early arrivals have gone out the window. We sit there for about an hour. They finally connect the jetway and they open the door. But we still ain't going no where. So I say to Jim Brown, who's standing behind me holding his hat to shake his, Jim, I know you're Hall of Famer and used to carrying the ball, but you got a few pounds on me. I'd like you to lead. And I'll go in behind you. And I need you to be essentially my full back. And when the gate guy comes up, he's probably one of these gay ticket guys. You lay into him like he's an inside linebacker trying to step up and fill the hole. And I'll cut off your block. And I'll go like OJ through the airport. And he's like really serious. And he goes, I don't block. I run the ball. When I played, that was the deal it was. And that's the deal it is now. You know these guys who are so goddamn serious about themselves that they can never even F around even with some scrawny white dude who played a little high school ball and is tramped on a plane with them. Even that, even that they can't risk growing around with. And I came back one more time. I said, yeah, but you know, you're bigger. My wheels are probably better than yours right now. Why don't you just throw that block and I'll cut right off in it. I carry the ball. For a minute I thought we were actually playing. I got caught up in it.

10:26 You were in the huddle.

10:27 Adam I was in the huddle. I started audible-izing at that point. All right, so let's get ourselves onto the phone and talk to Kim, who's 15. Kim?

10:39 Oh my god, am I on there?

10:40 Drew You are.

10:40 Oh my god, Adam?

10:42 Drew Kim?

10:43 Oh, Adam, I love you.

10:44 Adam Yeah, yeah.

10:45 I missed you, Adam.

10:46 Adam Get in line behind Jim Brown, baby.

10:48 Drew You missed him? Yes.

10:50 Adam Yeah.

10:51 Oh my god.

10:51 Drew Hi.

10:52 Okay, can I just say something real quick? I think you two are like really cool. And you know, Strachan, he's cool, but he's no Adam.

10:59 Adam No, that's true.

11:00 Drew Well, I think you're welcome to Adam back this night.

11:02 Adam Thank you.

11:02 Drew No, no one else mentioned anything like that.

11:04 Adam No, what's up?

11:05 Drew Shut up, Corolla, you hairy bastard.

11:08 Okay, yeah. My question is, like, today, I thought I had like an orgasm, but I'm not sure.

11:16 Drew Well, what happened?

11:17 Okay, I was in the shower, right? And I was just fooling around and stuff. And then it was like, all of a sudden, okay, I had the whole hand-held thingy, right? And I had it there for probably like a minute and I just felt like a big rush.

11:34 Drew Yeah.

11:35 Right? And then all of a sudden, I just got like, I felt hella like jello-y or something. And then I just, it's like for a second, I couldn't breathe.

11:46 Drew There you go. That bad does it.

11:48 Adam There you go.

11:49 Really?

11:49 Drew Good time.

11:49 Adam Yep. Enjoy it. You'll never experience it with a man.

11:52 Drew Well, not for many years.

11:54 Okay. I have another real quick question.

11:56 Adam Hold on, Drew. Yeah. I don't know how your house is outfitted. I do know you probably have five, six bathrooms in that palace. And I don't know how many of them have the handheld shower things, but I suggest.

12:07 Drew I don't compete with that.

12:08 Adam I'm saying camp them, remove them.

12:10 Drew They're gone.

12:10 Adam Good man.

12:11 Drew No, no. That's, that's, a man cannot compete with that.

12:13 Adam It can only be trouble. That's right. Go ahead, Kim.

12:16 Yeah. Okay. My other question was, when are you going to have Alien Ant Pharma in your show again?

12:21 Adam Soon.

12:22 Whatever.

12:23 Adam Yeah.

12:23 Drew Any estimates, Anne? No. Alien Ant, well, she knows. They're coming. Hold on a second. When? Well, say so we can all hear.

12:31 Adam The 30th.

12:31 Drew The 30th of October?

12:32 Adam That's what we're trying for.

12:33 Drew 30th of October. There you go, Kim.

12:35 Adam I'll tell you, when I have a young daughter and she starts getting puberty, I'm going to take all the running water out of the house and just put a well pump, an actual hand pump like the old west.

12:45 Drew That's when you want them to be in the shower. Staying in? Stay in the shower. Just keep them in the shower. Put sprayers all over the place.

12:51 Adam That's interesting.

12:52 Drew Yeah. Then they'll sanitize.

12:54 Adam Put the extended hose on it so they can make it to school, but not to the boyfriend's house.

12:58 Drew Exactly. Well, that's right.

12:59 Adam You may be right. That's a good point. Laura?

13:02 Yeah.

13:02 Adam You're 17?

13:03 Caller Yeah.

13:04 Adam What's up?

13:06 I called like August the 2nd or 6th.

13:10 Adam Hold on. Let me check my registry here. Yes. Yes.

13:14 Drew Laura August the 6th.

13:15 Adam Talked to a guy who took your virginity, it says here.

13:18 Right. All right.

13:19 Well, you tried for an update and I didn't have the phone that night and I haven't really had a chance to call except for last week, but Adam wasn't there. All right. It's not the same.

13:29 Drew All right. What's the update tonight?

13:31 Well, I haven't touched liquor since, had the chances a million times, found a 21-year-old friend who offered to buy me tequila, but I'm like, no, and can't seek the professional help because we lost our insurance and we're flat broke.

13:47 Drew Weren't you saying, this is going to be a stretch, but that you couldn't say no? Wasn't that your thing?

13:52 For what?

13:53 Drew That if a guy approached you, you had trouble saying no?

13:55 Oh, yeah.

13:56 Adam Yeah.

13:56 Drew That's what I remember.

13:58 Adam Let me also make this observation. The people who pronounce insurance insurance are half as likely to be insured.

14:07 Drew Oh, my data says less than half.

14:08 Adam Oh, less than half? I got to check my books.

14:11 The only one with the job with the benefits and she lost her job.

14:15 Adam All right. So where does that leave us?

14:18 Drew It leaves us with you not drinking and you understand that drinking is making you or helping you make bad choices, right? Yeah, also is a bad sign. And you're also trying not to sort of give in to the pressure these guys are giving you. You understand where it's coming from a little bit, right?

14:33 I tried.

14:34 Drew I feel better about yourself and you don't do it.

14:38 Oh, sort of.

14:40 Adam Well, here's the deal.

14:41 Caller I've only been able to say no once and all in other times I couldn't.

14:46 Adam Okay, but you're getting a grip on yourself slowly, right?

14:51 Caller Sort of, yeah.

14:51 Adam And you're not going to have the best care money can buy because you don't have any insurance, you don't have any money, right?

14:59 Caller Nope.

15:00 Adam So you're going to have to rely a lot on yourself. And I know Drew doesn't like this kind of talk because it means guys like him are out of work.

15:08 Drew Hey, listen, wait a minute. Go ahead. 12-step is an option that's out there too, and it's free and it puts guys like me out of work, and I think it's a great option for people.

15:16 Adam Fine.

15:16 Drew But you give the rest of the work.

15:18 Adam Yeah. Well, I just mean this is going to be tougher for you than it may be for a lot of people that have other means at their disposal, resources at their disposal. So you're going to have to really discipline yourself. Can you do that?

15:33 Caller Oh, yeah. You said I'm getting a grip. I'm getting a grip on one thing, but I'm losing it on others.

15:39 Drew You're getting the grip on the alcohol?

15:41 Caller Yeah.

15:42 Drew Where are you losing it?

15:43 Caller I dropped out of school, getting my GED. I got to take five tests before the end of December because 2002 they're making the GEDs twice as hard. I have no chance of passing.

16:00 Adam What do you want to do? You want to get a job?

16:02 Caller No.

16:03 Adam Don't you have to get a job? Yeah. All right. Get a job.

16:07 Caller Well, it's kind of hard, Steve. The only place I'll hire a teenager is fast food and grocery.

16:12 Drew What do you want to do, Laura?

16:14 Adam What's your plan? Like the ambassador to Albania or something? You're 17 for Christ's sake. You got a fourth grade education.

16:21 Drew What's your plan?

16:22 Caller Well, it was to become a lawyer. And really, I don't have one because I switch like every week. But I've had the same plans since about fifth grade in the back of my head. Just no one likes it.

16:35 Drew What's the plan?

16:38 Caller I'm told I'll make a very good stripper.

16:41 Adam You've had had that stripper plan since the fifth grade?

16:44 Caller Well, I wanted to live on the bunny ranch.

16:46 Drew You want to be a prostitute?

16:49 Caller Well, if I can't say no, I might as well get paid for it.

16:53 Adam Yeah, interesting. I wanted to be a stripper about the fifth grade and then the ass hair kicked in and I realized...

16:59 Drew That was it. You didn't have the goods.

17:02 Adam I had to pursue my other dream with pirate astronaut, as you know. Hey, Laura? Yeah. Okay, baby, come on now. Don't punch so many holes in your life that... There's no way to patch them by the time you're 20.

17:16 Caller I don't want to live to be 25.

17:18 Drew Why?

17:19 Life sucks.

17:20 Adam Well, hold on. Let me straighten this out. Are you talking about going from 24 to 26 and skipping 25, or are you talking about dying?

17:28 Caller Dying.

17:29 Adam Ooh, that's different.

17:31 I want kids.

17:33 Caller I suck at relations.

17:34 Adam You don't want kids?

17:35 Caller No.

17:36 Adam Good. All right. Good.

17:37 Caller My mom says they're going to turn out just like me, and I'm taking that statement to heart.

17:40 Adam Yeah. Okay. That's fine. You don't have to... Listen, Laura, here's the deal. Don't look so far down the road. Don't look about when you want to die. Don't look about how many kids you do or don't want to have. Stop looking so far down the road. I hate to sound like a bumper sticker, but take it one day at a time.

17:58 Drew Also, Laura, when people have had severe traumas in their life, which obviously you had, one of the side effects of that, even if it's like being in a plane crash, when you've had traumas, your brain naturally foreshortens your view of the future. If you talk to people who have been through major traumas, they will expect that they're going to die young. They'll anticipate that. So I mean, you don't specifically sound depressed, though I'm sure you are. This business of wanting to die at 25 and all, I don't really consider necessarily suicidal, but more of your foreshortening views of the future because of the severe traumas you've been through. And those post-traumatic stress reactions can be treated. You don't have to ruin your life because of the trauma of the past.

18:41 Adam All right. Don't get pregnant. I know you don't want to. I know you don't want kids, but somehow that's not connected with not getting pregnant, unfortunately.

18:48 Drew You know, they had another one of those fairs out here in Southern California for like the gays, for like holistic medicine and animal rights, and it was like the third thing, all in one place and that to myself. What is up with those people?

18:59 Adam Just drop some napalm on those.

19:00 Drew But I mean, there's so many things going on right now.

19:02 Adam Trade huggers.

19:03 Drew I mean, yeah, I mean, these poor kids and the world, I can't understand it. Can't that business wash out and people start re-prioritizing a little bit?

19:13 Adam Well, here's the thing. There's something horribly flawed with everyone who likes animals too much, as you know. Yes, yes, you are. And it goes everywhere from sort of lonely to just maniacal and everything in between. But anyway, look, it's good to like animals.

19:30 Drew Wait, no, no.

19:31 Adam It's not good to love animals too much.

19:32 Drew Let's not pick those people out.

19:34 Adam Yeah, I'm gonna pick those people out.

19:36 Drew But let's talk about people who sort of have campaigns about issues that are specifically about them and their lives and their experiences of life.

19:45 Adam Right. They go wacko because you're wearing a leather belt.

19:48 Drew Or no, no. Or no, forget the animal people.

19:51 Adam I'm not done with the animal people.

19:52 Drew It's chronic fatigue, right? The other one you like.

19:56 Adam Yeah. Okay, listen, here's the point that Drew's trying to make. And he may not be trying to make this point, but this is my point. So I'm going to make it anyway. I've been saving my points for almost a week.

20:06 Drew I know it's tough for you.

20:07 Adam As long as there's human beings on the planet, like young Laura over here, who's in a world of hurt, she should take priority over any animal. That's the way I look at it. If you love animals so much, the human is the first animal you got to take care of. Ironically, the people that do the most for animals seem to have a certain disdain for human beings because they look at human beings as the ones who enslave these animals and devour these animals and use these animals for them.

20:35 Drew I have a point. But be that as it may. Yeah, that's true. I think it's more that people need to find their sort of connection with some meaning in life, some spiritual, some transcendence, some connection with other people, some meaning outside of looking for the right herb to make me feel better.

20:52 Adam Well, listen, I was watching 60 Minutes tonight and they had a whole thing on the Muslim religion and they had a couple of guys who were speaking on it. You know the thing that's funny about whenever they talk to the clerics and the higher-ups in the Muslim religion, you know, it's always like, it always reminds me of, it reminds me...

21:13 Drew Love and Death, Woody Allen.

21:14 Adam No, no, forgive reminds me of, it's always the same speech which is, what these people did was horrible and should not be forgiven. But you must understand, you know, it's like, oh, really? America with its oppressive nature and its foreign policy, it's like, oh, okay, now you're saying it wasn't a bad idea? Almost every one of them comes out with this. It really gives me the creeps. But here's the deal. I was listening to these Muslim guys talk, and there's a billion Muslims literally, and they're talking about the Koran and Allah and all this, and they're saying, what these terrorists did, it was a bizarre interpretation of the Koran, and here's how it goes. And really what it is, is you lead a good life, and then when you die, you go to a place where there's virgins, and you eat dates, and it's a better, you know, you go somewhere, that you live your life, and I thought, hey, is it, you live in a mansion where the street's paved with gold, and then I thought, listen, all you religious nutjobs, it doesn't bother you at all that they all have the same theme, that every religion says, you die, and guess what, there's a payday. So just mine your P's and Q's while you're down here on earth, and grind that crappy existence out and further your religious cause, and then you'll die, and that's the payday. And I thought, it doesn't make people a little suspicious about that, that these guys on another part of the world and another part of the planet with a religion that's a billion years old have the exact same thing that we have, which is be good to your brother, don't hurt anybody, take care of everybody, and then when you die, you get to go to this place. Now, they have substituted virgins and date fruit because that's a part of the world they're from. We have our own version of virgins and date fruit. It's more like Graceland, more like Elvis' place, you know, with the shag carpet and everything. We have the Western interpretation of that, but it's the same place and it's the same guy. And that doesn't make everyone think for just a second. I mean, how is it that we all stumbled on to the same notion? Well, I think it's human nature. Thank you very much. No, not all right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Bernice who says 17, her right breast has been hurting for two weeks. She needs meds or drugs. We'll talk to her after this. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. All righty. Let's get back the phones and speak to Bernice.

24:15 Caller Yeah?

24:16 Adam Bernice, you're 17. What's up?

24:19 Caller I want to make my right boobs been hurting and I want to know what's up.

24:22 Drew Your right what? Boob. Anything coming out of it or anything like that? No. Is there a tender spot?

24:29 Caller No.

24:30 Drew Is your period coming up?

24:31 Caller No.

24:32 Drew Are you on birth control pill?

24:33 Caller No.

24:34 Drew No birth control shots or anything like that?

24:36 Caller No.

24:36 Adam How big is it?

24:39 Caller It's a D.

24:40 Adam Oh, really?

24:41 Caller Yeah.

24:42 Adam That's good.

24:42 Drew Is it the same size as the other one?

24:44 Yeah.

24:45 Adam Two Ds, huh?

24:46 Yep.

24:47 Adam Does that make you double D or no? That's still just D, right?

24:50 Yeah.

24:52 Adam How big is the rest of you?

24:54 Caller Five-five, 135.

24:56 Adam Sweet. Not even going to do the radio math. I'm in that kind of forgiving mood tonight, Drew. Just happy to be back with the kids.

25:03 Drew Well, Bernice, the most common thing to cause tenderness is cysts. You want to have a doctor look at it and examine it to make sure that it is just a cyst, but that's probably all it is. There can be infections and there can be other things that can certainly cause it, but it's very common for there to be tenderness in and around the time of the period.

25:18 Adam You know, one thing I learned from traveling to New York and trying to go through airport security over there in New York, the thing about, you want to know the difference between New York and LA? I figured out that we both have many different cultures in New York and LA. I mean, it's a real melting pot, real melting pot, real grab bag, and the difference between LA and New York, and you tell me if this rings true to you at all, Drew, is in LA, we have many different nationalities, but they realize that they have an accent and that people don't understand them sometimes. They talk a little slower. They're almost apologetic when they talk, and they try to use their hands a lot. New York, there's people, crazy accents, but they don't acknowledge it, and it's weird. It's everything from cab drivers to the security at the airport. Meaning, if you got some guy, you run into some guy in the street here, and he's like a Mexican guy, and he doesn't speak good English, he'll let you know it. He won't act like he does. I was going through the, I was actually being searched, going through the metal detector with the arms out, Jesus crucifix type stage. They actually had a wooden cross there that they nailed you to while the guy went over you with the wand. And I had this little woman, she was like from somewhere deep in Jamaica, and she was like five feet tall, and I was putting my hands in, she was like, and I was like, pardon me. And her saying it twice meant she was angry the second time she said it. She thought I was not complying or being sassy. I couldn't understand a goddamn word she was saying. She was like, I was like, pardon? You know, she's like yelling now, like I, I, I, I, I don't know what you want me to do. Like, turn around? Yes. Like a turn around, you know, and then she said she wanted me to back, back, back it up. I couldn't understand a mother of a word she was saying. But the point is, is in her mind, she was speaking the Queen's English and there was no, like all I was was some guy who was being belligerent because I wasn't complying with her demands and I thought in LA, they know they have accents.

27:38 Drew Yes.

27:38 Adam New York, I don't think they do.

27:39 Drew Not so much the guy behind the-

27:41 Adam Not the airport guy.

27:42 Drew The airport guy is the guy behind the dark window at the gas station.

27:46 Adam No, they know they have accents. They just don't care and they don't like you. That's different. Cindy?

27:52 Drew Cindy?

27:53 Caller Yes.

27:53 Adam You're 19. What's up?

27:55 Caller Hi.

27:56 Caller Okay. Since I was 14 years old, I've had a constant long-term relationship.

28:01 Caller I've had about three consecutive ones. I'm 19 now and I'm finally single and on my own.

28:05 Caller It's kind of scary because I don't really know how guys work when they're dating.

28:10 Caller I'm getting wrong signals or something.

28:13 Drew What do you mean? Give us an example of how you got a wrong signal.

28:15 Caller Well, let's say I meet some guys somewhere and we're going out, we're having a good time. I guess it's just because I have this image that all guys want to sex, because I listen to you guys and that's pretty much what you're telling us.

28:27 Drew Hang on a second. Let's stop right there. Adam, is that about accurate?

28:33 Adam I would like to qualify and say, yes, it is the guys who you people are, you young, attractive women are interested in. Yes, all those guys, yes. But if the dorky guy you don't want to date, ironically, he's not only interested in sex, he has other interests. You know what I mean? Like Dungeons and Dragons and things like that. But he would be the slowest moving of all the guys, but you're not interested in him.

28:59 Caller Right.

28:59 Adam So yes, for all practical purposes.

29:02 Caller Okay, so I'm kind of scared. I don't want to get hurt. You know, I don't want to end up...

29:05 Drew Well, you're in the driver's seat.

29:07 Caller Yeah, but I've never been in the driver's seat before, you know, and nobody taught me how to drive.

29:12 Adam Oh, wait, wait a minute. I don't want to seem insensitive, but this is always a stupid conversation. You've had a boyfriend, a few, since you were 14?

29:21 Caller Four. I've had... Well, they've all been over a year relationship.

29:25 Adam But you've been with four, had four relationships with four men.

29:29 Drew You know what guys...

29:29 Adam By the age of 19.

29:30 Drew You know what guys are about.

29:31 Adam You know enough. There's not... There's no general overall discussion we got to give you. You have more experience at 19 than most women do. I would say being... I'd say someone who's been in four long-term relationships by the age of 19 probably knows her way around the ropes better than someone who's dated.

29:50 Drew Yeah, but you know, she's worried about not being able to understand the sort of rituals of dating. And you'll learn that soon enough. In the meantime, just assume... Just follow your instincts, what you're interested in. Just don't rush things along. And don't cave in to demands from guys. Just keep dating until you feel comfortable.

30:05 There you go.

30:07 Adam Jennifer?

30:08 Yes.

30:08 Adam What's up?

30:10 Well, when me and my boyfriend won't... When we've had sex twice, he's ejaculated without knowing it or feeling it at all.

30:21 Drew No, wait a minute. Without feeling it starting up or he had something...

30:25 He doesn't feel it at all when he comes. Like, he doesn't know. Okay, like when he's, like, climaxing, he'll pull out and he'll be like, okay, whatever, and then we'll just, like, sit there and relax. And all of a sudden, it'll just, like, come, like, gushing out, like, all over. I'll be like, oh, my God.

30:40 Drew Yeah, but he feels that.

30:42 Caller He doesn't feel it at all.

30:43 He's like... And he looks down and he's like... I mean, oops.

30:48 Drew Hang on a second.

30:50 Adam She used the S-word, so we got to go ahead and dump that. Anderson's upset. But Jennifer, see, that sounded like a legitimate slip of the S-word. So I'll forgive her. It's my people's Sabbath, you know, Sunday night.

31:05 I'm sorry.

31:05 Adam That's all right. So he has no sensation when he has an orgasm.

31:11 No, I mean, he does, but just, like, it's happened twice.

31:16 Drew No, Jennifer, wait a minute. You're going to have to be very clear about this. He feels like he's starting to go.

31:22 Uh-huh. So when he's about to climax.

31:25 Drew So he stopped because he doesn't want to climax, right?

31:27 Right. He doesn't want to get inside her.

31:30 Drew But it happens anyway.

31:32 Yeah.

31:32 Drew But he has a climax.

31:34 And then he pulls out and then it just starts coming out. And he doesn't feel it. He doesn't know it.

31:39 Drew Wait a minute, Jennifer.

31:40 Adam No, hold on. Let me yell at her. I just said he has a climax, but he has no sensation. And then you said, no, he feels it.

31:48 But he doesn't feel it at all.

31:50 Adam All right. Well, then shut up and agree with me. I said he has the climax, but he has no sensation. No feeling. OK.

32:00 Drew He's not aware that his climax.

32:01 Adam I've got to keep going around and around five times on the show.

32:03 Drew I still don't think that's right.

32:04 Adam No.

32:05 Drew He's not aware that he's starting to climax.

32:07 Adam No, he has to. No, that's you got stuck on that this time last year and you've hung on to it like a pit bull.

32:13 Drew All right.

32:13 Adam So a curtain.

32:14 Drew So things, things he has rhythmic contractions when semen comes out. And but no experience. His brain is disconnected from that entirely.

32:25 Right.

32:26 Adam Yeah, it doesn't feel good to him.

32:31 Okay. It's really hard to explain. It's harder than I think.

32:35 Adam Evidently.

32:36 Yeah.

32:36 Adam Okay. Listen. Hey, Jennifer, do me a favor and I want to explain this and give this out to all the listeners. Um, sometimes we speak in blacks and whites on this show and we have to, like when I say, but he has no sensation. He may have 10% or 15%. I don't want to get caught up on that. If he has a little bit, No. The no will still suffice.

32:59 Drew I know what she's talking about. She is being wacky the way she's describing it.

33:04 Adam What is she saying? Where is she living? Because I'm going to come over there and San Francisco. Whack her once.

33:09 Drew He gets the verge of climax. He stops in an attempt to not climax.

33:13 But then it just comes out anyway.

33:14 Drew And pow, it happens.

33:16 Huh?

33:17 Drew Okay. See what I'm saying? He has a climax. He feels a climax. It just he can't control it.

33:21 Adam Does it feel good to him?

33:23 Yeah. But then he stops and then he pulls out. And then he thinks that he stopped climaxing. And then we'll just lay there and maybe like one minute later it'll all come out.

33:35 Adam And he won't feel it.

33:36 And he won't feel it when it comes out. He won't even know until I tell him that it's...

33:40 Drew Okay, but he had a climax prior to that.

33:41 Yeah.

33:42 Drew It's just the semen doesn't all come out yet.

33:44 Right. It's clear when it comes out too.

33:47 Adam Oh, it's dribbling out. It feels good to him when he has an orgasm.

33:52 Yeah.

33:52 Drew He just has a lot of...

33:53 Adam No, after he retards. Oh, who cares? Who cares? I don't care. Go to the gynecologist. Talk to somebody who's got time. I don't have time for people who cannot express themselves in any meaningful fashion. Ten minutes with that witch. Try me nuts. Look, the guy does what every goddamn 18 year old guy does in the world. He's banging away. He pulls out and he can't get the timing down. This is why the rhythm method does not work.

34:20 Drew That's right. Exactly right. And or he ejaculates, has a climax and then there's some stuff that flows out afterwards too.

34:27 Adam Yeah, he gets that little post his drip going that he may have a big version of that.

34:34 Drew A lot of it. Who knows?

34:35 Adam Right. Okay. This guy has no control over his penis.

34:39 Drew That's the bottom line.

34:39 Adam That's why you should be on birth control, Einstein, and he should have a condom going.

34:46 Drew Yep.

34:46 Adam Okay. That's it. And as far as him working that out, that's something you guys can work out together and he may not ever master it. And I'll tell you something. You know how got some guys can't swing a baseball bat too good? Right. And that don't change a whole lot from 15 to 40, 45 to 50. Some guys can't swing a dork too good. And I don't know why we all think that's going to be better. Do you know what I'm saying? How come certain guys, you play basketball with some guys?

35:16 Drew Yeah.

35:16 Adam They can hang on the rim and other guys can't touch the net. Right. And they're the same height. How does that work? It's same way your penis doesn't work. Same way you can do same way. You know those guys who can do a really good cockney accent or good French accent?

35:31 Drew Yeah.

35:31 Adam And you can barely speak English?

35:33 Drew Yeah.

35:33 Adam How does that work?

35:34 Drew Yeah.

35:35 Adam Don't know. But same with your penis, everybody. You can work on a little bit, but not that much. That's why you got to wear the condom. Brandon?

35:43 Yeah, that's me.

35:44 Adam You're 16. What's up?

35:45 Caller Yeah. Basically, my friend called me the other night and she was just freaking out. And she told me that my friend was going to be running away. He's going to go sometime this week and pawn off all his stuff after his parents leave for work. And then he's just going to take off and go down to California with two other friends.

36:03 Drew How old is he?

36:04 Caller He's 16.

36:05 Drew What's going on in his home that's got to get away?

36:08 Caller Well, he just moved here from Vancouver. He was here before. He moved there for about a half a year. And then he just, he came back here this summer.

36:16 Drew What is going on in his home that he needs to run away?

36:19 Adam I'm a little loveline now. A little loveline recreation.

36:22 Drew What is going on in his home that he needs to run away?

36:25 Adam He used to live in Vancouver. Then he came down here with his parents.

36:31 Drew What is going on in his home that makes him need to run away?

36:34 Adam I told you he lived in Vancouver, you idiot. Brandon?

36:38 Caller Yeah, sorry.

36:38 Adam That's all right.

36:42 Caller Why I told you that is because he hates it here now. It's his home. I don't think there's anything really wrong there. But we live in a little town.

36:49 Drew Yeah, Brandon. Teenagers run away when there's abuse in the home, that's it.

36:52 Caller Okay.

36:52 Drew That's it. That's why they run away. So I'm going to give you a hotline you can call, and they can give you some specific recommendations.

36:58 Adam Well, hold on. Let Brandon grab a pen or pencil. Hey, Brandon? Yeah. Yeah. I'm half with you in that there could be, he could miss his home and his old friends or whatever.

37:10 Drew He's not going back to Vancouver though, right?

37:12 Caller No. He's planned on running to California. Yeah.

37:14 Adam Hey, Brandon?

37:15 Caller Yeah.

37:15 Adam Could you talk him into Arizona? We got enough jackoffs running around here, quite honestly. You know what I'm saying?

37:22 Caller Yeah.

37:23 Adam You tell him, and I'm serious, an apartment in a halfway decent neighborhood in LA is a thousand bucks a month, all right?

37:32 Caller Okay.

37:33 Adam Meanwhile, Tucson, he can get himself a palace for 650 bucks a month. Am I right, Drew?

37:39 Caller Am I right?

37:39 Drew Yeah. We can live for 150 a month in Tucson.

37:42 Adam It's too much. Your nut is way too big here in LA. Understand? And it's a life of gay porn. I did it. Drew did it. We all do it.

37:52 Drew But most don't get out.

37:54 Adam Right. It's gay porn in the LA.

37:57 Drew Here's the number. It's 800-422-4453. I think you may have to go through Child Protective Services to really get some going here. But it means something really substantial is going on in the home.

38:10 Adam All right. Maybe. You're a good guy, Brandon. Take care of him. And Drew, let me say this. I know you always talk about wholesale abuse going on in the home front whenever there's a runaway. I agree with you, but I'm going to say a couple things.

38:28 Drew There are always exceptions to everything.

38:29 Adam Big difference between 1213 and 1617. A, number one, this guy may be 1617. And B, number two, once in a while, and it's not often, but you run into those Janis Joplin types who aren't being physically abused, but they just got this crazy hit the road thing.

38:48 Drew She had a mess at home.

38:50 Adam She didn't have a mess at home.

38:52 Yeah.

38:53 Adam No, she didn't.

38:54 Drew Attic parents, sure.

38:55 Adam No, no.

38:56 Drew Oh, yeah.

38:56 Adam Look into it. I know the story.

38:58 Drew She's a heroin addict.

39:00 Adam I know, she is.

39:01 Drew That doesn't come out of nowhere.

39:02 Adam That can't.

39:03 Drew No.

39:04 Adam Listen, you don't think in 1967 when you're in the midst of that scene, doing that, that you can get strung out on something.

39:14 Drew Oh, yeah. But you have to get the gene first from somewhere. And the gene comes from the alcoholic parent.

39:19 Adam But let me ask you, do you need the gene for heroin?

39:21 Drew Oh, absolutely.

39:23 Adam Why?

39:24 Drew Because if I give you, if you don't have the gene, I give you heroin, I can make you dependent on it.

39:28 Adam But that's what I mean.

39:29 Drew But then when it comes time to stop, you just stop, it's no big deal.

39:32 Adam After you become dependent on it? Absolutely. Now, Drew, why am I smarter than you when you're a doctor?

39:36 Drew There were, this was first studied in Vietnam when a bunch of soldiers came back dependent on morphine and a bunch of them just stopped and their addicts kept going. The addicts have the continuation gene. That's the part of the non-addict. That's why people get...

39:49 Adam Right, right, but you can...

39:50 Drew I can make you addicted to morphine after surgery accidentally and then the non-addict will stop. The addict will keep going.

39:56 Adam Right, but you could, you can find the addict gene in any family if you want to trace it back. If you're looking for it, you can find it.

40:05 Drew No, it needs to be within two generations.

40:06 Adam It doesn't mean that there is abuse going on in the family.

40:10 Drew It means she had an alcoholic parent. That's better than that. That was abusive or not.

40:14 Adam Listen, I know her whole, I know her whole right. It wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't a great, you know, I'm sure there were better childhoods, but she had that. I'm getting out.

40:24 Drew Yeah.

40:24 Adam And I'm getting out early. And I'm saying that some people have that.

40:27 Drew Yeah.

40:28 Adam And maybe more men than women. I don't know. All right. We'll take a break. We'll be back.

40:35 Drew Hello. This is Loveline.

40:42 Adam Hey, y'all. Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Eating a big sack of nuts over here. You're home. Let's talk to Dave, who's 16.

40:53 Caller Dave.

40:56 I have a problem with my English teacher. She's one of those stereotypical type of 50 year old teachers, you know, weird and old. And my problem is that I suspect she may have something with me or for me.

41:07 Drew Why?

41:08 Caller Well, you know, she's awfully nice to me. And some of the time she keeps me after class and asks rather personal questions. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

41:16 Drew Like what? Give me an example of one of the questions.

41:17 Caller Well, like, you know, for example, one day she came after class and we had like a big project doing next day. And she said, oh, what are you doing tonight? Do you need help or anything like that?

41:29 Drew Do you need help? The temerity. Can you imagine that? A teacher asking if you need help? Shocking. Shocking. All right.

41:35 Adam So maybe maybe she's interested in it.

41:37 Drew No, no, no, no, no. I don't believe it.

41:38 Caller No, but I mean that it's not just like regular help. I mean, sometimes when I raise my hand for her to check my paper or something like that, most of the time she puts her hand on her hand on my shoulder and well, well, she's one of those really hot types.

41:54 Adam All right. Well, what then? What? How much longer you got with her? Where are we?

41:59 Caller The whole year because she's an English teacher.

42:02 Adam Okay. I'd suck it up.

42:03 Drew And she doesn't do that to anyone else?

42:05 Caller Here's what I'm, well, what I, at least my choice is it's either to confront her, talk to the principal or try to avoid her. I'm saying that if I confront her, she's probably going to deny it and, you know, and then I look like a fool.

42:18 Drew Is anyone else noticing this?

42:21 Caller Excuse me?

42:21 Drew Is this just going on in your head or is anyone else saying, gee, it's uncomfortable?

42:24 Caller I think it's only me because oftentimes I never see her asking, like, you know.

42:29 Drew No, I'm not saying does she do this to any other people. I'm saying to other peers.

42:33 Adam Hold on. How many times have I warned you about talking to the callers?

42:36 Drew That's awful.

42:36 Adam It's always, it always backfires.

42:38 Drew I have to.

42:39 Adam Listen, Dave.

42:39 Drew I have to. I'm compelled to.

42:40 Adam Yeah. Let me give you some options. You can talk to her. She'll deny it. You can talk to the principal and she'll deny it. And you can make things really uncomfortable and weird. So here's what you do. Just keep a low profile. Suck it up.

42:58 Drew Don't be alone with her.

42:59 Adam Okay. And if she says, you need any help with that, you tell her, no thanks. I'm good. And you leave. And if she gets really aggressive, then you say, listen, I don't want to turn this into a scene. So let's just leave it at this. And she'll back off.

43:14 Drew You pull together some witnesses to let other people sort of say, no, you don't. But listen, if there was something going on, he's 16th and 10th grade, 11th grade. You think everyone in that class wouldn't be aware of it? I mean, they'd be all over it if they'd saw even anything, a hint of something weird.

43:30 Adam Well, that may be still a possibility. He just misinterpreted your question. But anyway, it falls under the who cares category. And I know there's a double standard here for men and women. And yeah, there is. There's a difference between a male doing this to a female classmate, but still, or not classmate, but student. But still, I haven't gotten anything. Do you need any help? I'm putting my hand on your shoulder while I'm looking over your paper.

43:54 Drew Right, there's nothing really.

43:55 Adam Not a real big deal. And I'm sure he could crush her like a ball of tinfoil if he had to, so big deal. Renee?

44:03 Caller Yeah.

44:04 Adam You're 23?

44:05 Caller What's up? Just kind of concerned because I was sexually molested when I was a child and I think that it's kind of stayed with me. I've tried to put it in the back and put it in the back and I've always tried to live my life not worrying about that and go on about it.

44:23 Adam Who sexually molested you?

44:27 Caller Someone in my family.

44:28 Drew Your brother?

44:29 Caller Yeah.

44:30 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. Somebody told me I should start working that in again last night.

44:36 Caller But anyway, I feel like I've always had issues in my relationships. I've had two serious relationships. Makes sense, right?

44:46 Drew You've not dealt with this? You've just pushed it away?

44:48 Caller It's not that. It's just I kind of don't want to live my whole life crying about something that happened. Crying over spilled milk basically. I can't do anything about it. I'm not going to live the rest of my life letting that affect me. Do you know what I mean?

45:01 Drew Yeah, there are ways of doing it though without detaching from it the way you have and that's what you need help doing. You need some therapy for that so it doesn't affect your ability to have relationships. Now, you'll be a good old victim, you'll find abusive guys, you'll have problems with hyper or…

45:16 Caller No, and to be honest with you, I've had wonderful boyfriends.

45:19 Drew Okay, but you'll have a tendency to be either hyper or hyposexual, too much or too little?

45:23 Caller Yes, very much so and it's actually very hard because the relationship that I've been in now, we've been together for three years and he's 23 too so he's actually young and he's a healthy male who obviously wants a relationship where we can be close in that way and we are but it's very few times that we do.

45:44 Adam Alright, so Renee…

45:45 Caller It takes them a long time to get me going and I'm not saying it's not great, it's great but it's very hard for me to say, okay, let's do it.

45:52 Adam Slow down there, rap star.

45:54 Caller Okay.

45:55 Adam You got a rap going.

45:56 Caller Okay.

45:57 Adam Look, you're bound and determined not to let this affect your life, yet it's taken over in your personal relationship. So, you get a little therapy and you work on it. If you're determined for something not to take over your life, it's like Drew was just telling me he needed a root canal, I'm going to do it for him during the commercial but you don't want your tooth to take over your life, go to the dentist. Right. Saying I'm not going to think about it and I'm not going to let it take over my life, therefore I'm not going to the dentist. Now, that's when it takes over your life. Every time you chew, it takes over your life. Yeah. So, you got to go have it, you need a nice crappy day at the dentist, maybe two and then it won't take over your life, ironically. That's right. And substitute dentist with shrink, and that's what you need to do, Renee. And we'll take a break.

46:51 Caller Hello. This is Loveline.

47:00 Adam Hey, y'all. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. All right. I'm getting close to hitting that wall there, Drew.

47:07 Drew No, you're not.

47:08 Adam I really am.

47:09 Drew Oh, that's right.

47:11 Adam I went to bed at 2. I got up at 5.30, and it's all been a blur.

47:17 Drew You'll be all right.

47:18 Adam Three hours later.

47:19 Drew Now, this is that time when another hour after a 36-hour stretch, one hour is sort of not a meaningful period of time.

47:26 Adam Oh, don't worry, kids. I'll be there for you.

47:28 Drew All right.

47:28 Adam Sarah?

47:29 Yes?

47:30 Adam You're 23. What's up?

47:31 Hello. How are you?

47:33 Adam I'm tired, but I'm hanging tough.

47:38 Caller So, now, is this hurting me?

47:42 Drew Is what hurting you?

47:43 Caller Eating cum.

47:44 Drew Is eating cum hurting you?

47:46 Caller Yes.

47:46 Drew Well, is it hurting her? Yeah, is it hurting her? Yeah, hurting me. Is it damaging her? I imagine her.

47:54 Caller No, I don't go to it.

47:55 Drew Her spirit might be impaired by it.

47:57 Adam You want to do it on a plane, you have to do it with a plastic spoon. I figured that out in the last few weeks.

48:03 Drew No, it's even more bizarre. You get sometimes metal utensils but a plastic knife.

48:07 Adam I've had that too. No, I don't believe it hurts you unless it's infected semen.

48:15 Drew It's a good way to get sexually transmitted disease. It's a way to get sexually transmitted diseases. I was up at Cal State Sacramento. This guy stood up and said that his girlfriend had been told by his mom that would give her a sore throat because she had gotten a sore throat and her mom went, You know what that's from? And I thought, Wow, what a strategy. I'm going for that with my daughter and the fact, Sarah, that semen is loaded with calories.

48:38 Adam That's right.

48:38 Drew Two thousand calories per teaspoon.

48:40 Adam Liquid fudge.

48:41 Caller Is it really?

48:42 Drew Oh, just loaded with calories.

48:44 Adam How much of this are you taking in?

48:47 Caller Oh, I don't know. Maybe like a tablespoon, maybe a tablespoon and a half.

48:53 Drew From the same guy?

48:54 Huh?

48:54 Drew From the same guy?

48:55 Oh, yeah.

48:56 Adam I mean, I don't mean per sitting.

48:59 Drew Per the, how about per week?

49:01 Adam Per week. Oh, I mean, how often are you doing this?

49:07 Drew How many times a week?

49:08 Caller Maybe four or five times a week.

49:10 Adam Oh boy. And, hey, what's wrong with just spitting it into the toilet?

49:16 Because he likes me to eat it.

49:18 Drew Eating it?

49:19 Caller Yeah.

49:19 Drew Somehow that description, I find it even more offensive.

49:23 Adam Yeah. How is Sir Walter Raleigh over there? Is he treating you right?

49:28 Caller Yeah.

49:30 Adam Okay. Is he a good guy? Yeah. What's he do for a living?

49:33 Oh, he's a manager.

49:37 Drew Restaurant manager?

49:37 Adam No, no.

49:38 Store manager.

49:39 Drew Store manager.

49:39 Caller Yeah.

49:40 Adam What kind of store?

49:42 Caller A grocery store.

49:42 Drew Yeah.

49:43 Adam All right.

49:43 Drew There you go.

49:44 Adam All right. And you're doing okay? You're not pregnant? Oh, no. Hell, no. No. You're drinking all. You got any kids?

49:52 I definitely can't get me pregnant.

49:54 Drew That's correct. Any children?

49:56 Yeah, I have one.

49:56 Caller Oh.

49:57 Adam Where's daddy?

49:59 Caller Um, in a different town.

50:05 Adam I see.

50:05 Yeah.

50:06 Adam He didn't work out? Okay. How are you doing with the kid?

50:10 Really good.

50:11 Adam Okay. Is this guy becoming daddy?

50:14 Oh, no.

50:15 Drew Oh, no?

50:17 Adam No.

50:17 Drew Do you understand what he's asking? That you shouldn't bring...

50:19 Not right now, at least.

50:20 Drew You shouldn't bring him into your child's life unless he's gonna be around for at least six or seven years.

50:25 Yeah.

50:25 Drew You understand that?

50:26 Yeah.

50:26 Drew All right.

50:27 Adam Okay.

50:28 Drew Take care. Oh, okay.

50:30 That's all?

50:30 Adam Yeah.

50:31 Drew Cheers.

50:32 Adam Good times. Yeah. Bottoms up.

50:34 Drew Bon appétit.

50:34 Adam To your health. Mazel Tov.

50:41 Caller I drink to that.

50:42 Drew It's L'chaim.

50:43 Adam I mean L'chaim. Yes. Nadine?

50:46 Caller Yeah.

50:46 Adam You're 16.

50:47 Drew Yeah, Adam.

50:48 Adam What's up?

50:48 Caller You know what? I've always respected you and worshiped you.

50:51 Drew Why?

50:52 Adam Thanks. No. That's enough. Hey, look, she said what she had to say. Let's just move on. She said respect and worship, right? Yeah, yeah. That's fine, right?

51:03 Drew It's highly suspect.

51:04 Adam All right. Yes.

51:06 Caller OK. Well, I'm I've become really upset with you lately, though, and just the things you've been saying about Middle Eastern people.

51:13 Adam I know, because I've been on such a rampage last week.

51:16 Caller You know, I know, you know, you've been saying you were saying earlier, like, like they keep saying the same thing on the TV, everything. And they're upset. And it seems like a lot of people are saying the same exact thing. You know, everyone's saying it. And when you were saying it, it just sounded like you were trying to say that the Middle Eastern people don't seem to really care what's happening. Or you know what? I know a lot of Middle Eastern people are really upset what happened and they're hurt by it. And they don't, you know, they don't agree with any of those, what those people say.

51:50 Drew Let's repeat what you actually said. Huh? He's going to repeat what he actually said, which was, they condemn what happened. Because I heard him say it too.

51:58 Adam And I never said the Middle Eastern people.

52:00 Drew No, he said the clergy, the Muslim clergy, he said.

52:03 Adam Yes.

52:03 Drew He said Muslim clergy said that they condemn what happened universally.

52:07 Adam Then slide into that. But you have to understand the way this part of the world views America.

52:15 Caller Not all of them hates America.

52:17 Drew But Nadine, Nadine, Nadine? Yeah. That's all he said.

52:20 Adam That's what I said.

52:21 Drew He said that the Muslim clergy, he saw in 60 Minutes. Each said that they universally condemn what happened. They're not supportive. It's a misappropriation of the Qur'an and whatnot. But they also qualified it as you people need to understand how you're viewed. Right.

52:37 Caller He's all saying, oh. That's it.

52:40 Drew That's all he said. No, no. That's all he said. That's it.

52:43 Caller He said all the...

52:45 Drew No. That is all he said.

52:46 Adam Better finish. Go ahead.

52:48 Caller You know, you were just saying that, oh, they keep saying the same thing. Like, you're all mad. Like, they don't mean it or something like that.

52:56 Drew No, that's all he said.

52:57 Adam No, I did. I did have that tone.

53:00 Drew Really?

53:01 Adam Yeah.

53:01 Drew I just heard you say the clergy.

53:03 Adam I didn't say the Middle Eastern people ever.

53:05 Drew He said the clergy.

53:06 Caller You were pretty much saying it in other words, though. You were, you know, directing it to them.

53:11 Adam No, no. I was talking about the clergy.

53:15 Drew That you'd seen on TV.

53:16 Adam That I'd seen on 60 Minutes.

53:17 Drew Tonight, yeah. Which is all he referred to. And this is what's dangerous about this situation. You can't personalize everything that's being said because we'll all end up hating each other. You have to look at things. Everyone has to be tolerant. Do you harbor any ill feelings about anyone? Really?

53:34 Adam No, no.

53:35 Drew I mean, I don't care. Yeah.

53:37 Adam Listen, it's such a... It really is. I said it earlier a few weeks ago. And they brought it up again tonight. Like, do you feel that most Catholics have any relationship with the screwballs that bomb the abortion clinics? And no, you don't even count them as one of your own. And it's the same thing with the Muslim extremists who do this sort of terrorist activity. I'm aware of that.

54:05 Drew What he said, though, gave him the heebie-jeebies because there's a political piece of this that we're all trying to struggle with, which is we're perceived by a certain part of the world in a way that it's hard for us to understand. We're trying to make sense of that. And trying to do right by that, frankly. I think our government is trying to.

54:19 Caller These are individual acts. These aren't one certain race.

54:22 Drew Yeah, but what's difficult about this is that we keep hearing from people in the Middle East that there is some bad feeling about this country, and we're trying to understand why that is and what that is, and how we can make that better.

54:36 Caller Yeah, there's a lot of people who hate America, but there's a lot of Middle Eastern people who love it, you know, and they're not the bad people that the media makes them look like most of the time.

54:49 Adam I think the media has been trying pretty hard not to do that.

54:53 Caller I agree, but some things, they, you know, sometimes they make them look really bad.

55:00 Adam Well, it's bound to happen, yeah, but obviously, it's going to happen. And I don't think you can avoid that, but I also would argue that they've been trying very hard to be even handed about things.

55:11 Caller Yeah.

55:11 Adam All right. So what other problems you have?

55:14 Caller What do you mean?

55:14 Drew You're doing okay otherwise?

55:16 Adam I was kind of right with that whole thing, though.

55:17 Caller I've been depressed since the whole thing.

55:19 Drew You've been what? Depressed?

55:20 Caller Yeah, really about like everything.

55:22 Drew Why? How come?

55:23 Caller I worry a lot because just like everything that's happening.

55:26 Drew Are you worried about what's going to happen in your life?

55:28 Caller Yeah, I'm just, I've become really depressed.

55:31 Drew Do you find that now you're 10th grade, 11th grade?

55:33 Caller I'm 11th grade.

55:34 Drew Do you find that a lot of people your age are having the same kinds of feelings?

55:37 Caller I think so, yeah.

55:38 Drew Is it because you're worried about a draft or worried about your safety? And what does it look like to you?

55:43 Caller I don't know. I think I'm just worried about my safety in the world. I just worry about what's going to happen and I get sick to my stomach. I don't like want to even go out.

55:55 Drew Were you prone to anxiety before this all happened?

55:59 Caller No. Well, kind of.

56:01 Drew But not so bad?

56:02 Caller Not so bad. I was doing pretty okay after like...

56:06 Adam Are you worried about people singling you out because of your race?

56:10 Caller Well, no, because people don't think on my race.

56:13 Drew But it's an important point. A friend of mine who's one of the smartest guys I know, we were talking about trying to assess our risk and live our life accordingly and not be stupid and not also be overreactive about it. And he was talking about his worrying about having enough water. And then he said, I have to worry about being attacked by Americans. By what? He goes, I'm going to Tucson or Tempe next week. And some rednecks. He looks kind of... He just looks a little bit darker skinned.

56:38 Adam Who's that? Marcel?

56:39 Drew No.

56:39 Adam Yeah, he's with all the gold. Yeah, he could easily be mistaken as an Arab.

56:43 Drew But the point is that there are Americans that have an extra added layer of concern above the estimate. If your skin is a little darker than everybody else, it's ridiculous. Like, hey, don't get too tan.

56:51 Adam Yeah, well, that is true. I mean, I think a lot of Arab Americans have to worry about coming from both ends. They have to worry about being in the wrong place at the wrong time, just like we do in terms of a terrorist attack. And then they got to worry about being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

57:09 Drew But it's not even Arab Americans. It's like Italian Americans. I'm sorry. I'm gonna be your royal highness.

57:13 Adam You're so precious. So precious. No, but I realize people are stoned and it's late and have difficulty following the show. But what I want to say is they have to worry about being in the wrong place at the wrong time and having a pickup truck full of rednecks coming after them, too, which we don't really have to worry about.

57:29 Drew Well, you might.

57:30 Adam Well, unless you fall off of the out of the pickup truck and hurt yourself.

57:33 Drew But the point being, you don't have to be Middle Eastern to worry about that, you know? You could be just a little darker. That's a little darker. That's all you need.

57:41 Adam Well, what do you mean? Like what? Give me a nationality.

57:44 Drew Italian.

57:45 Adam No, because Italian could talk his way out of it. You know, start throwing around like Paisan. You see what I'm saying? Thank you. All right, let's talk to Kelsey, who's 22. Kelsey?

57:59 Hi, guys. Um, please try to be a little bit patient with me.

58:05 Drew Why?

58:05 Oh, well, I know that you do get very frustrated with some of your collars that are a little flighty.

58:10 Drew Okay. So, I mean, what's making you have difficulty?

58:14 I'm just really shy right now.

58:15 Drew Okay.

58:16 You guys are so inspiring. Okay. Here's my problem.

58:20 Drew She greased it properly. See, Adam, it's fine.

58:22 Adam Thank you.

58:22 Drew That's good.

58:23 Okay. My problem here is that I've been dating the same guy for about three years now. We had a very active sex life in the beginning of our relationship after we grew close. And, you know, it was pretty much like we were like rabbits. Okay? His father was killed in a car accident a couple years ago. He was a drunk driver. And ever since that, his, you know, sexual performance has pretty much been non-existent.

58:48 Drew So two years of, what, erectile dysfunction?

58:51 It's just pretty much any kind of...

58:57 Drew He's just not into sex at all? Not interested in sex?

59:00 It's almost like he can be, but then it just, he can't really quite, the intimacy just doesn't really last.

59:06 Drew All right. Is he, is he on antidepressant medicine?

59:10 He's been in therapy and they've discussed their issues, but it just doesn't really seem to have a large...

59:15 Drew Is he on medication?

59:17 He was actually on Prozac for about a year.

59:20 Drew All right. Well, that'll shut you down pretty good.

59:22 But he hasn't been on it for a while because he just honestly was pessimistic about it and said it wasn't really helping him as far as, you know, the constant obsessing thoughts that he was having already. He was really close to his father.

59:37 Adam How old is he?

59:38 He's 23. And his mother died when he was about three or four years old, so he was really close to his father.

59:45 Drew All right. But that, it also re-resurrects all that old stuff about mom too.

59:50 Adam But, so you're saying, and this is going to be, it's always difficult. You're saying he does not have any erectile problems.

59:58 It's almost, it's more so he cannot have an orgasm, I would say, as opposed to just not being able to, you know, become aroused. He can become aroused, but it's like he's so withdrawn just so quickly. It's almost like a on-off switch, you know?

1:00:15 Drew No.

1:00:16 Adam So he has erections, just no orgasm.

1:00:19 You know, like, there are even times that he's been drinking, you know, and it'll naturally bring out almost...

1:00:24 Drew Is he got an alcohol problem?

1:00:26 No, no, no. I just mean...

1:00:28 Adam All right. But just to make sure we're on the same page, he has the erections.

1:00:32 Drew He has libido, he has erections.

1:00:34 At times. Yeah, at times he will have...

1:00:37 Drew Hold on. She said, she asked us to be kind to her.

1:00:40 Adam I know, but that's why I'm going to go to number two. I'll be back in about 15 minutes.

1:00:46 Drew No, go about five minutes. Give me about five minutes.

1:00:49 Adam You think you'll find out whether he has erection problem or not?

1:00:52 Drew I think it's just sort of a general feeling of disconnect.

1:00:55 Adam Okay.

1:00:55 Drew Let's get with that.

1:00:56 Adam All right. Well, why don't you dump him?

1:00:59 Oh, no.

1:00:59 Caller We're very close.

1:01:00 Adam Okay.

1:01:01 Drew But you're not very close anymore.

1:01:03 No, actually we are, but it's not sexual at all.

1:01:05 Adam Okay. Well, he's been off?

1:01:07 He's been together, but he just can't seem to come through.

1:01:10 Adam What do you think a Viagra pill would do for him?

1:01:14 Well, hopefully it would keep his mind in... something that would keep his mind on the intimacy would be good.

1:01:22 Adam Yeah. Why don't... Drew, what do you think? Is he a candidate?

1:01:25 Drew That's a reasonable thing.

1:01:26 Adam I mean, maybe the guy needs to prime the pump a little bit. Maybe he needs a good outing under his belt.

1:01:32 Drew Well, the Viagra will not make him more interested in sex. It will just make his penis hard and stay that way.

1:01:38 Adam Thus more interested in sex.

1:01:40 But it's like he'll get hard and then he becomes distracted.

1:01:42 Drew He'll still be just as distracted, but he'll stay hard. He won't go down. And the other thing is it sounds like he really needs some treatment. He is not being properly treated, it seems to me. Here he was on Prozac for a long time. It didn't work. No one adjusted it. He was having sexual dysfunction from it. No one addressed that. He's been two years obsessing and grieving in a pathological way. He needs treatment. He's seriously depressed. And that needs to be treated. Yes, the therapy is great, but it sounds like there's something more that needs to be done here. And I suspect he's resisting it.

1:02:12 Adam All right. Waldo.

1:02:15 Caller Yeah.

1:02:16 Adam You're 25?

1:02:17 Caller Yeah.

1:02:18 Adam I'm intrigued because it said race team partner is a deadbeat.

1:02:22 Caller Yeah.

1:02:23 Adam What's that mean?

1:02:24 Caller I knew you would be.

1:02:25 Caller Actually, you're the one I want to talk to, but I want to say hi to Dr. Drew. You guys are so long.

1:02:28 Drew Hey, Waldo, what's up?

1:02:31 Caller What it is, is like...

1:02:33 Adam Turn your radio down there, Waldo.

1:02:36 Caller Oh, boy.

1:02:38 Caller What it is, is like... Like last year, I came on to the team. He had this race team.

1:02:44 Caller We raced down to Orange Road, San Bernardino.

1:02:46 Caller And I came on.

1:02:47 Adam Hey, Waldo.

1:02:47 Caller Yeah.

1:02:48 Drew Turn the radio down.

1:02:49 Caller Turn the radio down.

1:02:50 Adam All right. Now, you got to hang on for a little while, Waldo.

1:02:52 Caller All right.

1:02:53 Adam You understand. You understand. We asked once and it didn't get accomplished. So we're just going to have to hold for a little bit. Not even at all.

1:03:02 Drew You notice that? It was the same volume in the background as before.

1:03:05 Adam Well, here's the fantasy. Here's the deal, everybody. When we say turn the radio down, it's not like we got tipped off or we're playing a hunch. You understand the reason. I'm going to sound like an angry Bill Cosby here. You understand the reason we tell you to turn the goddamn radio down is because we can hear the goddamn radio. So if you just say, hold on, walk over the radio and mime moving the knob and then come back, it's not like we're your parents and we say brush your teeth and you wet the toothbrush down and then put it back in the holder. We actually know it's still on for the same reason we knew it was on the first time, which is we can hear it. You guys all, now that we understand the math on that, back in the holder, we actually know it's still on for the same reason we knew it was on that, that's what we hear, which is we can hear it. Thank you. Alright Waldo, we'll give you a second chance.

1:04:04 Caller Alright.

1:04:05 Adam Okay.

1:04:06 Caller How's that, is that good?

1:04:07 Adam Yeah.

1:04:08 Caller Okay. Go ahead. He asked me to come on last year to be his crew chief on his team.

1:04:13 Adam What kind of race team?

1:04:15 Caller He has, we raced down to Orange Row in San Bernardino in the Pony Stock Division.

1:04:20 Drew Pony Stock?

1:04:21 Adam You raced in the Pony Stock Division?

1:04:23 Caller Yeah.

1:04:23 Adam Which is some form of stock car?

1:04:25 Caller There are four panels, a four cylinder class. We're circle track racers. We're NASCAR affiliated. We race for NASCAR points, just like the big boys.

1:04:32 Adam Open wheel? Okay. What kind of engines you run?

1:04:35 Caller The 2.3, four cylinder.

1:04:38 Adam Yeah. What are they, like Pinto engines?

1:04:39 Caller Yeah, they're Pinto engines basically.

1:04:41 Adam How do I know so goddamn much about cars? It kills me how much I know about cars. Whoa! Single overhead cam?

1:04:49 Caller Yeah.

1:04:50 Adam Oh, genius.

1:04:51 Caller Solid lifter. We're running the solid lifter on the 2.3 now.

1:04:53 Adam All right, go ahead.

1:04:55 Caller Tell me, everybody, he heard through...

1:04:58 Adam You got twin-side draft Webbers or McCoonies?

1:05:01 Caller No, we're just running the stock intake with the Holley two barrel three...

1:05:04 Adam Oh, man. Well, you're making all of 150 horsepower.

1:05:08 Caller Yeah.

1:05:08 Caller That's what we're restricted to. That's what the rules are set at.

1:05:11 Adam 150?

1:05:12 Caller Yeah.

1:05:13 Adam Is it really 150?

1:05:14 Caller Yeah, that's what we're restricted to.

1:05:15 Adam He says I'm like a genius, like a mad genius.

1:05:18 Caller Yeah, no, we get pumped up by everything.

1:05:21 Caller I know.

1:05:21 Adam It doesn't... Waldo's...

1:05:22 Drew Waldo doesn't care.

1:05:23 Adam Waldo acts like I've been cruising the pits for the last three weeks with a notepad and a calculator.

1:05:28 Caller Okay, Waldo. Go ahead. He heard through the Grave Line and through the racetrack stuff, you know, the year prior to last year, back in 99, you know, that I knew a lot... I knew my stuff about the pinnows and the racing and all that other stuff. So he asked me to come on to be his crew chief for the year 2000. So I came on. This guy had never even seen a top, maybe seven in points in the last 12 years he's been racing. Okay. Last year I come on to his team. I'm his crew chief. I, you know, I work with him and stuff and I get him in the second place. We actually had first. I get him second in the NASCAR points. And so he gets this big hit on his shoulders. So then he goes, okay, well, let's go bigger, did it. And next year, which would be this year, you know, he's like, you know, can you build me a new car? And I said, yeah, so I booked him a new car, you know, and we got a good sponsor and everything. And he let me drive the old car that he drove the year prior. So I was going to go for my rookie of the year this year. We've been racing all year and it's like, all he does, again, I guess, I understand too from the track is all he's ever done is whine about everything at the track. He whines about everything. If something doesn't go his way, he whines about it.

1:06:30 Adam All right, all right, all right.

1:06:31 Caller And he takes everything.

1:06:33 Adam All right, here's the deal, Waldo.

1:06:34 Drew How old is this guy?

1:06:35 Caller He's 34.

1:06:37 Adam Okay, he ain't doing a whole lot of changing.

1:06:40 Drew Yeah, this is just him.

1:06:41 Adam No, wait, here's what I want to say to Waldo and everybody. At a certain point, you realize that certain people are just sort of lemons.

1:06:51 Drew I think he's idealized as this guy and he's a big, he's a big sort of let down.

1:06:55 Adam Yeah, whatever it is, he's an idiot, get away from him. I mean, I know I'm simplifying it too much, but those of you who have horrible roommates, those of you who have horrible partners, those of you who have horrible pit crew chiefs and things like that, you gotta fire them or you gotta fire yourself.

1:07:13 Drew But you hear the story in this, it's like, I didn't realize this guy, I built him a car, he was the guy I was working for and he's just a big whiny bastard. And it's like, yeah, that's who he is. He's not the guy you thought he was, he's the guy he is.

1:07:24 Adam Right, don't beat up on Waldo. No, no, no, I'm not beating up. But I'm saying that Waldo, if you're a magician with the wrench and you're not bad behind the wheel and you brought this guy from seventh to second overall, then other folks around the track must be aware of your skills if they're what you say they are. So it shouldn't be too hard for you to take on with somebody else. And let me tell you.

1:07:48 Drew Or for yourself.

1:07:49 Adam Or for yourself, I suggest that, do not try to change this guy. Let's take ourselves a break. Drew, pretty good. I knew those things when you put down 150 horse power.

1:07:58 Drew I'm shocked.

1:07:59 Adam Waldo took it in stride.

1:08:01 Drew Remember that one night you picked on somebody's, picked their like...

1:08:04 Adam Profession. Profession. Yeah, I said to this chick, your boyfriend's still going to be working at that banning cage he's at. Well maybe so, but I'm sticking with him. And I said, doesn't bother you that you didn't mention that your boyfriend was working at a banning cage? And since a lot of the folks that call in the show are more animal than human, that didn't strike her as peculiar at all. She was like, well he works at a banning cage, genius. I'm like, yeah, but...

1:08:32 Drew I didn't know that.

1:08:32 Adam The fact that I mentioned that he did and you never mentioned it, and that's kind of a peculiar job. Well anyway, can we get back to the question?

1:08:40 Drew That's exactly how it went.

1:08:42 Adam All right, well it's okay. I'm my own audience here, Drew.

1:08:45 Drew Indeed you are.

1:08:46 Adam Thank you. We'll be back.

1:08:48 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Love Line will be right back.

1:08:52 Adam I'm Adam. That's Drew over there. It's Love Line.

1:08:56 Drew And that's Jimmy Eat World. They're coming up this week.

1:08:59 Adam Tomorrow night.

1:08:59 Drew Tomorrow night, yeah.

1:09:00 Adam Oh, this is them, yeah. Good riff. Can't go wrong with this. I like just playing when I enter restaurants and other public places, you know. Hey, here comes Adam, everybody. I don't see him. Listen to the riff. It's got to be close. Hi, everybody. All righty. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. It's good to be back. Ready to get on the phone? Let's do it. Hey, how does this work? Everybody, please tell me if you can answer this question. Drew, you don't travel with the boys like I do, but maybe Ann can identify with this. When I travel, it seems like almost half the time I'm doing something where it would be nice to have 2 beds in the room because I got a buddy with me going to Vegas to do something. They always seem to know when you need the king bed and give you the twin beds, the two beds, and when you need the twin beds and you get the king bed and you got to bunk up with your gay buddy. See what I'm saying? I was just in New York for a week and how many beds were in my room that I stayed alone in? Two. Of course. There were two. Of course. Because I had nobody with me. If I had had a buddy come with me, then we would have spent the week on a king bed. I think I'm going to screw with him next time. I think the way to remedy this is go, so look, I'm bringing somebody with me. He's a straight male and so am I, so it's important that we have two beds in the room. In which case, and by the way, the other bed is always going to be freed up the next day. But it's just enough time for you to put your stink on your bed and unpack everything. When you got a week's worth of crap, it's like, what am I going to do? Pack it up and move down eight floors. It's just like, screw it. I'm not moving in. I got another four nights here, I'll make it. That's exactly what hams like.

1:11:09 Caller Where'd you stay?

1:11:11 Adam Mr. Corolla. Oh, we're going to have a king bed that's freed up. By the way, I don't like the concept of the bed being freed up. It means some guy's whacking off on it. We got a guy beating off on it right now. Says he's going to be done by noon. He is going to mop his belly off. So let's figure three o'clock checkout.

1:11:32 Drew You would like the sheets changed, yes?

1:11:34 Adam I'm just saying, I don't like the idea of the bed being freed up. It's a weird concept. Stayed at the Hilton. Yeah, that's rough. That's rough. Jenny?

1:11:46 Caller Yes?

1:11:46 Adam You're 22?

1:11:47 Caller Yes.

1:11:48 Adam What's up?

1:11:50 Caller Well, the reason I'm calling is because I did something when I was younger that is catching up to me now.

1:11:58 Drew All righty.

1:12:00 Caller I would say when I was about 12, I molested my younger cousin.

1:12:06 Drew How old was your cousin?

1:12:08 Caller God, he was like, he was like three.

1:12:11 Drew Oh, what did you do to him?

1:12:13 Adam And you said you were 12?

1:12:15 Caller Yes.

1:12:16 Adam All right.

1:12:17 Caller And what did I do to him? Yeah. Well, I'm very ashamed of it.

1:12:25 Drew Just so we can assess what went on here.

1:12:28 Caller I am. I keep them oral.

1:12:31 Caller Okay.

1:12:33 Drew And somebody must have molested you. That's sort of where that comes from usually. So what happened to you?

1:12:40 Caller The only thing that I can think of is when I was younger, my mom took me to the babysitter and the babysitter had an older son. And I remember that he was trying to French kiss me while I was supposed to take a nap.

1:12:54 Drew Okay. So we know that he was sort of out of bounds and God knows what else might have gone on.

1:12:59 Adam How old were you at the time when you were being taken to the babysitter?

1:13:04 Caller I would say about 6 years old.

1:13:06 Adam And the son was older?

1:13:08 Caller Oh yeah. He was like 12.

1:13:12 Adam And how many times did you go to that babysitter?

1:13:18 Caller I kind of don't remember. I just remember I went probably like 3 times a week.

1:13:22 Drew A lot of times.

1:13:23 Adam Alright. And what about the cousin? How many times did you do this to him?

1:13:28 Caller Just once.

1:13:29 Adam Just once? And how is he doing now?

1:13:32 Caller Well, the reason why it's been bothering me lately is because I saw him about 6 months ago. And I saw him and I started thinking, I did this to this poor little child.

1:13:42 Drew What's up with him now?

1:13:43 Caller He doesn't remember me. No, I think he's like 7. Yeah, he's older now, a little bit older.

1:13:50 Drew Well, it's been... He's got to be 13. It was 10 years ago.

1:13:53 Caller Has it been? Well, he's a little bit... He's a little kid. I can't even tell. I just know that when I saw him about 6 months ago...

1:14:00 Adam Just not sweat the detail.

1:14:03 Drew But what is... How is he now?

1:14:04 Adam He was 3. I was 13.

1:14:06 Caller He was a little small, little boy. Very small.

1:14:08 Caller He almost looked like a midget.

1:14:10 Caller Very small, small, small.

1:14:12 Drew But how's he doing?

1:14:13 Adam Hold on. I got some news for you. Using your logic, all kids look like midgets though, right? Yeah. I mean, any kid under 5'9, right?

1:14:22 Caller Yeah.

1:14:22 Adam All right. Now, listen, baby. Is his life tatters? Is it a shambles?

1:14:28 Caller No, no.

1:14:29 Adam It's all right?

1:14:29 Caller I haven't... Well, I never see him except for like 6 months ago.

1:14:33 Adam All right. But is he, you know... Has he got a bunch of tats and aggressive piercings at age 11?

1:14:39 Caller No.

1:14:39 Drew He's an okay, adjusted kid?

1:14:41 Caller Yes, he's okay.

1:14:42 Adam He doesn't remember.

1:14:43 Drew Yeah, this might not have had a big impact. It's possible. Just relax.

1:14:47 Caller Okay.

1:14:47 Drew All right. It may be okay. I'm more concerned with you and why you would do something like that and sort of managing your own emotional life. That's more of an issue.

1:14:57 Adam He didn't do it again.

1:14:58 Caller No.

1:14:58 Adam And he didn't do it with anybody else.

1:15:00 Caller No.

1:15:01 Adam And your life has been okay with relationships?

1:15:05 Caller Well, I have a boyfriend of 8 years.

1:15:07 Adam 8 years?

1:15:08 Caller Yeah.

1:15:08 Drew 2 or 14, but they could be a sort of a life preserver.

1:15:11 Adam He's 11 now.

1:15:12 Drew Okay, good.

1:15:13 Adam No. Hey, Jenny? Don't beat yourself up. I wish I had an older cousin gave me a BJ when I was young. Well, I did, but his name was Greg. Sucked.

1:15:23 Caller Oh, man.

1:15:23 Adam Yeah. Real tough, especially on his wedding.

1:15:26 Caller My main concern, though, is that I keep telling myself, you'll get over it. You'll get over it. But can I?

1:15:35 Adam Yes.

1:15:36 Drew Yeah, you can. But again, there's more than just that going on here. And if you want some help with that, you ought to get it.

1:15:41 Adam All right. But here's the thing. You're not going to get over it by confronting this 11-year-old who doesn't remember what went on.

1:15:48 Drew Leave him alone. That's not going to do anything.

1:15:49 Adam Don't buy into that crap. And don't listen to anyone who says, look, you've got to get this off your chest. Oh, no, no, no, no. This is not some paperwork that needs to be cleared off your desk.

1:15:58 Drew No.

1:15:59 Adam It is not going to work that way at all. You're going to dig yourself in deeper and freak the kid out more. The kid doesn't remember, and if he does, Mazel Tov. If I worked that in correctly, I'm trying to make up for the high holidays, the Jewish holidays. Jenny, you work in your own ass and forget about the cousin. Focus more on maybe what may have happened to you when you were being baby sad at age six. And don't beat yourself up and freak yourself out. Thank you. Sarah?

1:16:28 Caller Yeah?

1:16:29 Adam What's up?

1:16:31 Caller Um, not much. Um, welcome back, Adam.

1:16:34 Adam Thank you.

1:16:35 Caller Um, okay, I have a problem. I've been dating my boyfriend for three months now. And, um, I got kidnapped a couple months ago, like after I started dating him. And, uh...

1:16:52 Drew What? These people throw stuff out like, yeah, and then, you know.

1:16:55 Adam Abducted by aliens.

1:16:57 Drew And then they went out for a couple more weeks. Well, what do you mean you got kidnapped? What happened?

1:17:01 Caller Okay, it's a long story, but I was taken up there by my stepmother up against my will, and she kept me up there.

1:17:12 Drew Where?

1:17:13 Caller In Atlanta, Idaho.

1:17:15 Drew Okay.

1:17:16 Adam Is there an Atlanta, Idaho?

1:17:18 Drew I didn't know that, but I'll accept her as.

1:17:20 Adam We gotta do. Can you tell me something about the same naming of cities?

1:17:23 Caller It's a horrible plan.

1:17:25 Caller All right.

1:17:26 Caller But, um, and my boyfriend's parents found out about sexual activity that's going on up there between adults and minors. And they don't approve of it.

1:17:38 Drew Between adults and minors?

1:17:40 Caller Yeah.

1:17:41 Drew Is that a code for something? What are you talking about?

1:17:43 Caller Well, I mean, like, there's like 14, like, my sister, she gives BJs to 22-year-olds and stuff, and, uh...

1:17:53 Drew What does that have to do with you?

1:17:54 Adam Hold on, how far is Atlanta out of LA?

1:17:57 Drew Are there any direct flights? Atlanta, Idaho. What does that have to do with you?

1:18:02 Caller Um, okay, I was living there at the time that this happened, and, uh, his mom thinks that I was part of it.

1:18:10 Drew And how did she find out about this?

1:18:12 Caller Um, she lives up there part time.

1:18:14 Drew I see, so she knew this sort of wild bunch of teenagers in there.

1:18:17 Caller Yeah, she just thinks that we run wild and that we do anything we want.

1:18:21 Drew I see.

1:18:21 Adam Well, she ain't too far from the mark.

1:18:23 Drew Right.

1:18:24 Adam How old is your sister?

1:18:25 Caller Fourteen.

1:18:27 Adam Oh, I'd like to, uh, find your dad and give him a nice, swift kick in the nuts. Uh, what prison is he in?

1:18:33 Caller Well, it wasn't my dad, it was my stepmom.

1:18:36 Adam Yeah, where's your dad?

1:18:38 Caller Uh, here at the house.

1:18:39 Adam What kind of guy is he? Is he like to drink?

1:18:42 Caller No, he doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke or anything. He would, he's against it, but I've reported it many times and nobody's doing anything.

1:18:50 Drew Reported what?

1:18:51 Caller Reported the sexual activity.

1:18:54 Drew Between your sister? Who'd you reported to?

1:18:57 Caller Um, the Ada County Sheriff and everything.

1:19:00 Drew Wow, good for you.

1:19:01 Adam All right.

1:19:01 Drew We're, we're on board with Sarah a little bit, aren't we?

1:19:03 Adam Sort of. And, uh, what's so evil about your stepmom? What's up with her?

1:19:08 Caller Okay.

1:19:09 Drew Why hasn't she been arrested for kidnapping?

1:19:11 Caller Because they can't, they haven't charged her with it. That's the problem.

1:19:14 Adam Hold on, let me write that down.

1:19:16 Caller I've reported it.

1:19:17 Adam Yeah. Well, okay. Here's, hold on a second, Sarah. Sarah's interesting. She falls into that. She, I, I, I want to like her, but she has a little bit of that thing that they are call her suffer from, which is they act like we read the book and they're just explaining the movie to us. When in fact, we have not seen the book.

1:19:37 Drew Right.

1:19:37 Adam She's talking to us like, we pretty much know Sarah's scene and the scene up there in Atlanta, Idaho.

1:19:43 Drew Yeah. Of course, the, the, the, the thing with the minors having sex with adults.

1:19:47 Adam We're all well aware of that. She's filling in some of the details, but we know the basic overall plot structure. Sarah, keep in mind, we don't know anything that's going on. So you have to, you have to speak in a little, little less code. I bet if you spoke to the stepmom, she would have a totally different story about why she took these kids out of where they were. And usually when people who are kidnapping aren't arrested for kidnapping, it means they ain't kidnapping. Right. Is basically what I'm thinking. But Sarah?

1:20:22 Caller Yeah.

1:20:23 Adam All right. So let's try to get things patched up with you and your boyfriend. How old's your boyfriend?

1:20:29 Caller He's 14.

1:20:31 Drew 14.

1:20:32 Adam You guys having sex?

1:20:33 Caller No, I've never done anything like that before.

1:20:36 Adam Okay.

1:20:37 Drew Can you patch up with his parents? Can you get to know them a little better? Maybe gain their confidence?

1:20:41 Caller Well, I've tried to get to know his mom's one who basically has a problem with it. And I've explained to her that I have nothing to do with it. Yeah.

1:20:52 Drew Oh, boy, that conversation.

1:20:53 Caller She started to kind of okay it.

1:20:57 Drew Yeah, forget about I don't have anything to do. The conversation where the 15-year-old girlfriend comes up and goes, the oral sex with the 22-year-old, not me. I was around the corner at the AMPM.

1:21:09 Adam Well, what do you want her to do?

1:21:11 Drew I want her to say, Mrs. So-and-so, can I make you dinner tonight? Can I be your buddy?

1:21:16 Adam That's a more ridiculous conversation.

1:21:18 Drew Can I be of assistance tonight? Just make a friendship with her sometime.

1:21:22 Adam You're not even living in the same town as them anymore, are you?

1:21:25 Caller No, I'm living in New Plymouth, Idaho.

1:21:28 Drew Oh, New Plymouth.

1:21:29 Adam You're out in New Plymouth?

1:21:30 Caller Yeah.

1:21:31 Adam And what's that? That's about 75 kilometers away from Atlanta, Idaho?

1:21:37 Caller Actually, it's about 105.

1:21:39 Adam Christ. They moved.

1:21:41 Caller Yeah. I moved about two months ago.

1:21:43 Adam So how can you date this guy if you're over in New Plymouth and he's over in Old Plymouth?

1:21:49 Drew In Boise.

1:21:49 Adam In Boise.

1:21:51 Caller We kind of have a long-distance relationship, but we see each other on weekends.

1:21:55 Drew How do you do that? Who drives?

1:21:57 Caller My dad.

1:21:58 Adam Okay. So your dad's doing something here.

1:22:01 Caller Yeah.

1:22:02 Adam Okay. So here's the deal, Sarah. Let me give you the overall plan. What you're doing for your sister is great. Talk to your dad about your stepmom and what's going on with whatever those feelings are. Enlist your dad and stepmom and the powers that be, the sheriff and whatnot, and helping your 14-year-old sister find a little guidance. And as far as the parents of your boyfriend, this will sort itself out. Tell the boyfriend to work on them. I don't think Sarah is going to be a good spokesperson for this.

1:22:31 Drew Right.

1:22:32 Adam The boyfriend needs to explain to the, listen, mom, here's the situation over there. Here's the way I feel about Sarah. You can supervise us.

1:22:39 Drew I can say, yeah.

1:22:40 Adam She's going to come down on the weekend.

1:22:41 Drew In the house, be with the parents around.

1:22:43 Adam Right. Plus, I'm a dude. Would it kill you if I got a BJ? Come on, mom. You want me to go gay? Thank you. We'll take a break. We'll be back. Hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah. What a head banging going on in the next room. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Good to be back.

1:23:08 Drew Good to have you back.

1:23:09 Adam Yeah. Good to be, be, have and had back. Yeah. I missed the kiddies. I forgot what I was doing. All right. Let's talk to Ryan who's 17. Oh, I don't even believe Ryan. Ryan? Hello. All right. Go ahead and convince us this is a true call.

1:23:26 Caller I'm going in through my, through my parents' stuff. I need to get some socks, right?

1:23:31 Drew He's already a little too happy about this.

1:23:35 Caller And there's a, there's a, there's like a video in there.

1:23:39 Adam Right?

1:23:40 Caller And since, you know, I'm a big fan of the whole like, you know, movie thing with the girls and the nakedness and...

1:23:46 Drew Well, what did the video say on it? I mean, why did you think it was a porn?

1:23:48 Caller It was blank.

1:23:50 Adam All right. But it was in the sock drawer, so it was suspicious. That's right.

1:23:54 Caller You know, you know, Adam. Dude, I listen to you all the time, you know?

1:23:58 Caller You know, you gotta check it out.

1:24:01 Caller You know, I mean, I've, I've, I've never seen my parents really into that whole thing.

1:24:05 Drew What do you think you're talking to?

1:24:08 Adam So... Yeah?

1:24:09 Caller So I go to watch this thing.

1:24:11 Caller Right.

1:24:12 Caller And it's, it's my parents. And I'm like, oh my God. And she's, she's on my dad. And I'm like, I can't. And I just, I'm just sitting there.

1:24:23 Drew I'm like... All right. Now why, what, what do you want from us?

1:24:25 Adam Took him 20 minutes to beat off to this, by the way.

1:24:28 Drew I bet.

1:24:29 Caller Yeah, it was, it was, it was pretty tough.

1:24:30 Drew Took a few minutes off his clock.

1:24:31 Caller It was tough, you know?

1:24:32 Drew So what, what is it?

1:24:33 Caller I kind of hit him from it.

1:24:34 Drew What do you want from us?

1:24:35 Caller I don't, I don't, it's like...

1:24:37 Drew Why, why are you calling, why are you calling us?

1:24:39 Caller Well, I don't, I don't know. It's like, how do I...

1:24:41 Drew Why are you, well, you called us.

1:24:42 Caller Why are you calling us? No, I'm asking you, I'm asking you, like, how do I just... I can't really look at them now. Like, I can't, like, when I see my mom and everything, like, she tries to give me a kiss on the cheek or something. I don't, like, how, should I talk to them about this? Or should I just...

1:24:58 Drew Now we know your bug.

1:24:59 Adam Yeah, you need to talk to them.

1:25:01 Drew That's the last thing that someone would occur to someone who's...

1:25:03 Adam You need an open dialogue with them. Wait till they're together and then discuss oral sex with them. Okay, Ryan?

1:25:11 Caller I don't really want to do that, though.

1:25:13 Adam Well, you gotta do that.

1:25:14 Drew Don't do that.

1:25:14 Adam It's your only choice.

1:25:16 Caller All right, and then before I go, though?

1:25:18 Adam Yeah. No, no, no, Adam, you're the man. Thank you.

1:25:22 Caller I've been listening to you guys forever. Thank you.

1:25:25 Drew From Oklahoma? We've not been on in Oklahoma forever.

1:25:27 Adam I'll leave the guy alone. He wanted to get on the air.

1:25:30 Drew Yeah, I know.

1:25:30 Adam That's it. This is always the most bogus thing, because it's always like he's very upset over the whole thing. Meanwhile, he's basically doing a stand-up comedy routine.

1:25:40 Drew Right, right.

1:25:42 Adam Yeah, he was not upset about anything, because it never happened.

1:25:44 Drew And he's not, no purpose to the call.

1:25:47 Adam Yes, beware of calls, beware of questions that have no answer. Thank you. Tammy?

1:25:55 Yes.

1:25:55 Adam You're 31. What's up?

1:25:57 Caller Yes. I'm having a problem. I'm sure this is going to take it completely out of the sexual thing that you've been doing.

1:26:05 Drew That's fine. There we go.

1:26:06 Caller We're ready.

1:26:06 Drew Let's go.

1:26:07 Caller Are you ready?

1:26:08 Drew Yeah.

1:26:08 Caller Okay. My son is an eight-year-old little boy that goes to a private step mode program school.

1:26:17 Drew What does step mode mean?

1:26:20 Caller Hell if I know. I still haven't figured that one out yet.

1:26:22 Drew Okay. But you use that word as though we would know what it means. We don't know what it means.

1:26:25 Caller Well, I thought maybe somebody else would. That was a joke.

1:26:30 Adam Oh, sorry.

1:26:31 Caller All right.

1:26:32 Caller Anyway, he's been going to the school since kindergarten. He had a hard time in first grade because he had a woman there that was teaching him to yell constantly if he didn't get everything that she was teaching him.

1:26:49 Drew To yell constantly.

1:26:51 Caller Yeah. Well, anyway, let's go on from there. Now he's in third grade and he's got another teacher and the kids have a workload that I couldn't even keep up with.

1:27:00 Drew No doubt.

1:27:01 Adam Right. But you're a pretty good drinker, so it's not fair to have you doing that kind of work.

1:27:05 Caller Excuse me?

1:27:06 Adam Do you do some drinking?

1:27:08 Caller Once in a while.

1:27:10 Adam All right. So anyway.

1:27:12 Caller Anyway, we're having this problem. Are you done yet?

1:27:16 Drew Where was I?

1:27:17 Caller I had that. Anyway, he's having this problem there where the teacher has got him overloaded with work that is just...

1:27:26 Drew Just him.

1:27:28 Caller Not just him, the whole class. All right.

1:27:30 Drew Well, that's third grade.

1:27:31 Caller Okay. Let me explain this a little bit better. He's in a third and fourth grade, you know, split class. And it's... Oh, my God.

1:27:40 Drew Well, give an example of what his evening load is.

1:27:45 Caller English?

1:27:46 Drew No, what does he have to do in an evening?

1:27:47 Caller Oh, well, I'm trying to explain that to you. He has English, phonics...

1:27:52 Drew What does he have to do in an evening? Not what are the subjects.

1:27:54 Caller Oh, in an evening he has to do dictionary skills.

1:27:57 Drew What does he have... What would one of his evening lessons look like? What would they be?

1:28:01 Caller About two hours long.

1:28:03 Adam All right. Was that bad?

1:28:05 Caller With mommy helping and daddy helping you.

1:28:07 Adam Sounds like too much for me.

1:28:09 Caller Yeah.

1:28:09 Adam You drop out, you kick him where you call him, from Riverside?

1:28:12 Caller Yeah.

1:28:12 Adam They got a public school system over there where they sign no homework. Send him to one of those schools. Let him get good education.

1:28:20 Caller I know. We're pulling him out on Monday, but yet I'd like to find a way where I can talk to the principal of the school, which this woman has no personal...

1:28:30 Adam All right. Hold on a second, Tammy.

1:28:32 Drew I want to just scream at you.

1:28:33 Adam Calm down. Calm down, Drew. Hold quite down over there. Listen, Mary Poppins, I know you have difficulty with a lot of the folks that come in contact with your son. I'm sure they have some difficulty with you.

1:28:46 Drew No doubt.

1:28:47 Adam As well.

1:28:49 Drew Tammy, Tammy, Tammy, just listen, just listen.

1:28:52 Adam I'm saying that as easy as it is for you to have some contempt for these people that are in your son's life, they may have that toward you maybe ten times over. At least that's the vibe I'm getting.

1:29:06 Caller Okay, well you have that one wrong because they usually play the game until they started really screwing with him really, really bad and that's why I wanted to talk to Drew and not you.

1:29:16 Adam Well, what about everyone else in the class, wise ass? How are they getting done? How are they getting through with the work?

1:29:21 Caller Well, let's see. My son is the only boy in the third grade class.

1:29:25 Caller Oh.

1:29:27 Drew So what?

1:29:29 Caller Well.

1:29:30 Adam What does that mean? Oh, but what does that mean?

1:29:33 Caller It means that, I mean, he's not getting the attention that he needs. Every, you know, everybody in that class is all girls.

1:29:42 Drew So what?

1:29:43 Caller Okay. Let me explain something to you. Also, with this school, by third grade, there's no boys in there.

1:29:50 Drew Yeah, Tammy, here's the deal. Your son's being given-

1:29:53 Adam Hold on a second. No boys. Well, now that's a shocking revelation.

1:29:57 Caller That totally changes- What I'm trying to tell you is that the boy ratio drops by third grade. All the parents, you know, take their kids out of there. If they're boys, they're gone.

1:30:07 Drew The idea here-

1:30:08 Caller By the time they graduate from, you know, the eighth grade, because it only goes up to eighth grade, there's like maybe two boys in the eighth grade class.

1:30:16 Adam All right, hold on. Listen, this Tammy, these are the people I loathe in life. They're perpetually annoyed. It's always someone else's fault. There's a big conspiracy theory.

1:30:26 Drew Yes, that's right.

1:30:26 Adam And the conspiracy theory is really against them, except for their child becomes them, that they leave out in the world, and it becomes a little annex to them, and it becomes a colony of them.

1:30:38 Drew Extension of them. And here's the sad thing. This kid's being afforded this wonderful opportunity for higher education, and she's going to sabotage the S out of that. I mean, that's the reality, is that if your kid's going to compete in a very, very competitive world of education, he's going to be working his ass off from now to at least 28, working his ass off.

1:30:57 Adam Right, just like I did.

1:30:59 Drew No, if that's where she wants him to compete. If not, take him out. But here he has an opportunity. He may be up to it. They're not telling you that he's not up to it. They're telling you to push him along, let him do his thing, and you're going to sabotage that. So enjoy.

1:31:14 Adam Well, Tammy's thing is, he's being singled out, except for the whole class has to do the same workload, and what a shocking revelation that she doesn't approve of the principal who she may have to have a conversation with. I'm guessing there's not too many people in Tammy's life that she approves of.

1:31:30 Drew Well, not anyone that gives her anything that makes her frustrated or upset.

1:31:33 Adam That's right.

1:31:34 Drew Then it's their absolutely must be taken care of and moved out of her life.

1:31:39 Adam We have now added ourselves to that very long list of people that Tammy is frustrated with. But Tammy, you signed him up for that school.

1:31:46 Drew I think it's wonderful that he's in it and she will get a lot worse.

1:31:49 Adam If you don't like them, send them to public school. Look at me. I went to public school.

1:31:54 Drew My kids do about an hour 15 a night.

1:31:56 Adam I'm literally a millionaire. Literally.

1:31:58 Caller Yikes.

1:31:58 Adam Literally.

1:31:59 Drew I think I've got that in you.

1:32:01 Caller Yeah, everybody.

1:32:03 Adam There you go. Good to be back. I'm going to be back with Jimmy Eats Chachi.

1:32:10 Drew Jimmy Eat World.

1:32:10 Adam Oh, Jimmy Eat World. That's right.

1:32:12 Drew And then Cypress Hill and Def Tones.

1:32:14 Adam All right. All this week. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Like I, I, I don't know what you want me to do. Ta-da-da!

1:32:26 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or the station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, September 30, 2001