Episode 1000754886937

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:06 Go.

1:08 Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:10 Voiceover Loveline, coast to coast.

1:13 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew. Board Certified Internist, Addiction Medicine Specialist. You know, Drew, ever since your friend said I should say Board Certified Internist instead of Board Certified Physician.

1:32 Drew It screws you up every night.

1:34 Adam Each night when I get to that word in the sentence, I flip-flop back and forth a thousand times in my head.

1:41 Drew Not like I haven't noticed.

1:44 Adam Physician Internist, Physician Internist, Physician Internist. All right. One of the many things I have to think about that make no difference in my life. Which can join the other 900 billion other things I think about that make no difference in my life. No Guest tonight. We're just talking Sunday night. We're going to do a show on tolerance. That's not going to be a boring show though. There'll be some interesting opinions laid out. So, Drew, I was watching TV and I see all those public service announcements now where they talk about tolerance and they have these celebrities telling you even a joke, even joking, teaches hate. And I'm watching this thing and I thought, are you kidding? I've heard 7 million Pollock jokes in my life. I'd be perfectly fine with a couple Pollock sitting on the plane with me. Maybe, maybe not flying the plane because we all know them in the Pollocks. I can't steer a plane. But, you know, I think we do overdo it in this just a little bit. I mean, really, I've heard my favorite jokes are the racial jokes, nothing better. And I really have heard several hundred thousand Pollock jokes and it's the main joke I heard growing up. I don't know what happened to Pollock jokes. I long for those days. The simple days where we had a good Pollock joke. But I've heard thousands of Pollock jokes growing up, grade school, junior high, high school. It does not really affect the way I think of the polls. It really doesn't. Do you know what I'm saying?

3:24 Drew No. Right.

3:25 Adam It was just a joke.

3:26 Drew Yeah. Well, you've always made the point. In fact, I've heard you say this many, many times in regards to many of your sort of statements, which is it's comedy. Yeah. It's meant to be comedy. It's meant to be funny.

3:41 Adam I think people know that, and that's why they're telling a joke many times. And to say that that teaches hate, I think that's just a little overstatement. And what's wrong with a little comedy now and again? I'm not sure about the blacks. Yeah.

4:00 Tyler?

4:02 Yeah.

4:02 Adam You're 17?

4:03 Caller Yeah.

4:03 Adam Heard any good Pollock jokes?

4:05 Caller Mmm, not really.

4:06 Adam Okay, see, they've gone.

4:11 Caller My question is, okay, I'm 17 and I just moved here from California, wherever, I don't know, but this guy, he's not really out, but it's really obvious he's gay. And like we kind of hit it off and like started talking and whatever.

4:26 Drew You're gay, right?

4:27 Caller Yeah. And so.

4:29 Drew As if.

4:30 Caller Yeah. So he, I don't know, so one night, like we went to a party together and we were like hitting on each other. And.

4:37 Adam You were doing what on each other?

4:38 Caller Spitting on each other.

4:39 Drew Spitting.

4:40 Caller Yeah. And so then we drove off and dropped off a friend and he's like, what do you want to do? And like, so we ended up like making out and going down on each other. Yeah. So.

4:51 Drew You're gay.

4:53 Adam True. We heard you the first time. Go ahead.

4:55 Drew And what's your question, Tyler?

4:56 Caller So like, I want to, I don't know, like we talk at school and stuff like regular, like we're friends and stuff, but I like, I don't know. I just want to, I don't know how to approach it, like to talk to him.

5:07 Adam You like him, right?

5:09 Caller Yeah.

5:09 Drew But he's sort of ignoring you.

5:10 Caller He's not ignoring me. He's just ignoring what we did.

5:13 Drew Is he? He won't talk about it? Or is he sort of?

5:17 Adam Well, he's ignoring the bond that they had made between the two of them and he's ignoring Tyler a little bit.

5:23 Drew So you think he's afraid you'll sort of blow his, I beg your pardon.

5:27 Adam His other cover?

5:27 Caller I don't know. Like, he just doesn't really want to talk. I don't know. I haven't really discussed this.

5:33 Drew Maybe he's just not comfortable with his being gay. Maybe he's afraid you'll pull him out of the closet. Maybe he doesn't want a relationship right now. He's afraid you're heading down that path. I think you just ought to pull him aside and talk to him.

5:43 Caller So just say like, what hap- I don't know.

5:45 Drew Yeah. Just, well, tell him how you feel. You want to see him again. That was a good thing. You liked that. What happened?

5:50 Adam You're calling from Utah?

5:52 Caller No. Yeah.

5:54 Adam Oh, sorry. Okay. I had good times over there.

5:57 Caller Oh, God. I just moved here and it sucked.

5:59 Adam Yeah. It's not gay territory over there.

6:02 Caller No.

6:03 Drew This guy may be freaked out if he's gay, if he's part of the community.

6:08 Adam Have a talk with him. Don't freak him out.

6:10 Caller Okay.

6:10 Adam But have a talk with him and you'll get your answer and either you'll be happy with it or unhappy with it, but you'll have an answer and then you can move on.

6:19 Caller Okay.

6:20 Adam All right, Tyler, that's fine. And you know, it was just running through my head, Drew, was I don't know where, what goes on, but there's this whole thing and it's been prevalent in my life and I'm sure it has in yours too, that you cannot talk to the opposite sex who may be potential for some kind of relationship. You can never have a straight up conversation with them. It's always like some kind of used car deal that's going on.

6:44 Drew Yeah, it's a negotiation.

6:46 Adam Everything's a negotiation. They're sitting there going, I got a guy coming out here in about a half hour, says he's got cash. If you're not looking to buy, I got another guy coming in and you go, well, there's another dealer down the street. I saw the same 86'er cell. I saw it for $1400 cheaper. So I was going to swing by there. It's all negotiation. And it doesn't need to be that way. And the reach is you get to a certain point in your life, I think, where you can just say to someone, hey, I'm attracted to you or I'm interested in you or what about that encounter we had that meant something to me?

7:19 Drew Not at 17.

7:19 Adam No. But why not? Why not start it? Why not try it? Why not say to somebody you've been intimate with?

7:25 Drew For the same reason you couldn't do it then. You know what I mean? It's hard to get in that place.

7:29 Adam But we didn't have me.

7:31 Drew Yeah, I know. Telling you what to do.

7:33 Adam I didn't even have me, man. I barely have me now. I'm saying I'm telling you, young screwballs, that it's okay not to bum rush somebody emotionally, but it's okay to say to somebody.

7:45 Drew To be direct.

7:46 Adam Yeah. Hey, I like you. Hey, Saturday night, we had a little encounter. I enjoyed that. I don't know what your feelings are. Did you enjoy it? I mean, you can do that.

7:54 Drew You know what though? I was watching that 70 show tonight, and they were having an exchange.

7:58 Adam What's wrong with you?

7:59 Drew My kid liked that show. He's got his girlfriend, Toffa Grayson's girlfriend, and he goes, what do you see in the future? She goes, I don't know. Sometimes I think I'm with you. I thought to myself, God, I remember that. That you'd say, everything okay? They're like, you're so screwed up, so you don't know what the hell's coming next month.

8:17 Adam I know, but you can at least, you at least know if you like somebody right then, right now, in the hallway of school, and you can answer a few questions, and it doesn't make you a wuss to ask. Bill?

8:30 Yeah.

8:30 Adam You're 36, what's up?

8:32 Caller Yeah, you guys gotta help me, man.

8:33 All right.

8:34 Caller I've been divorced for about 10 months, and my problem is, is that, I mean, I've always been shy, ever since like I was a kid, and like when I got married, you know, my ex-wife, she approached me, you know, I mean, I had girlfriends and stuff like that, but you know, my problem is, you know, I want to get married again, and I, you know, I didn't have any kids with her, and I want to find, you know, I figure I got a target age between like 24, 20 years old, 20 years old.

9:02 Drew Bill, what is your question?

9:05 Adam It's a demo, by the way.

9:06 Drew You're all over the place.

9:07 Caller You know, I don't know how to approach a younger woman, and I mean, I look at them and go, oh man, she's hot, you know? But I mean, I get all freaking choked up when I even start to...

9:19 Drew It's the same thing we're talking about, right?

9:21 Adam Yeah.

9:21 Drew He's a 36-year-old going through this. Right. What did Bill do for a living?

9:25 Caller Carpenter.

9:26 Adam Carpenter? Very noble. That's a horrible, horrible job. What kind of carpentry do you do?

9:33 Caller You know, residential stuff.

9:35 Drew What's that mean?

9:36 Adam Do you finish stuff?

9:37 Caller Yeah, like trim work, that kind of thing, you know?

9:39 Adam A little basin case?

9:41 Caller Yeah.

9:41 Adam Swing some doors?

9:43 Caller Yeah.

9:43 Adam Alright. You any good?

9:45 Caller Yeah, I make a decent living. I own a house, you know.

9:49 Adam Alright. Chicks kind of dig the carpentry thing. It's a bad angle. You'll never meet any women on the job, obviously.

9:56 Caller I mean, I need a lot of housewives on my job.

9:59 Adam Yeah, but you're some schmoe working on their place and their husbands paying for it. That ain't going to work out.

10:05 Caller Yeah, you can't be amazed how much they want to talk to you, though.

10:07 Adam You got anything you're into?

10:10 Caller Um, not really. I mean, I got a sack of porn here that I'm dead. I'm already, you know, I'm tired of it already.

10:19 Adam Well send it over here, by the way. As you know, you know, there's all porn is new porn. If you haven't seen it before, do you know what I mean? It's not like day old muffins or anything. Your porn would be great brand new porn for me. And my porn would be brand new for you, even though I have many, many hard miles on my pornography. There could be a nice porn exchange program. I've been talking about it for years.

10:46 Drew A little, a little eBay side.

10:48 Adam We got to work some kind of network out. You know, you just pay, pay postage. I'll send some junk over there.

10:54 Drew You pay for the club and somebody else's stuff arrives right.

10:56 Caller Yeah.

10:56 Adam And it doesn't cost any money.

10:57 Drew We just rotate stuff like it's like a chain letter.

11:00 Caller Yeah.

11:00 Adam But you know what happens? Some a-hole starts working in the 40 and F a-ball stuff in there with, you know, watch grandma get nailed kind of thing. And they ruin the whole sanctity of the whole thing.

11:12 Drew Yeah. But you have a, a, a, a board, a panel. The review board. Yeah. It was a quality.

11:18 Adam I have gone for a porn swap before. I have filled up a shopping bag with pornography, one over my buddy Dave Craven's house and sat in his living room and traded porn back and forth, like you do with trading cards. And you get the new stuff. It's great.

11:32 Drew My God.

11:32 Adam But you could try to work some of that geriatric porn in on me. I wouldn't have any of it. Hey, Bill.

11:37 Drew Yeah.

11:38 Adam Okay. So you need to start trading porn.

11:41 Drew No, Bill.

11:42 So you need, I could do that.

11:44 Drew No, you need to start meeting people. You need to find, I mean, at 36 people use dating services. They use Internet match up services sometimes.

11:51 Caller I'll give you a horrible experience. About three months ago, I did that dating service through the newspaper. And I gave this one woman my phone number.

12:01 Drew No, no, no. What does that mean through the newspaper?

12:03 Caller You know, it's like, it's the, you know, personals in the news.

12:07 Drew Yeah. That's not a dating service.

12:08 Caller Oh, that was a nightmare.

12:10 Drew Of course.

12:10 Caller She phone stalks me.

12:11 Drew Oh boy.

12:12 Adam Yeah.

12:12 Drew Dating service, you pay a substantial sum of money. They screen everybody.

12:15 Adam Yeah.

12:16 Drew Usually it's for the better ones. You screen these people and then you match up with what you want and they match up with you.

12:21 Adam It sounds ridiculous, but.

12:23 Drew It's a way of saving time. People are busy.

12:25 Adam You get a lot of potential dates set up for you. Let me tell you, as an ex-carpenter, I can tell you, when you are an adult, the way you meet people is your job. It is essentially college for adults. That's what the workplace is. That's true. You are so effed.

12:43 Drew If you're construction.

12:44 Adam When you're working construction, there's not a chick anywhere because you don't meet any women on your job and then you go home and what's your only shot? It's a bar and you're screwed. Thank you. Taylor, that's my excuse at least. Taylor, you're 26.

12:57 Caller Yeah, I got a question for Dr. Drew. Taylor. I'm a recovering heroin addict and this last time I've kicking, it's been a couple of months, I'm having circulatory problems in my legs. Like they're cold and they get kind of numb and they kind of ache and I'm wondering if it's related.

13:18 Drew What were you taking this time? How much?

13:20 Caller Oh, I don't know, $100 a day.

13:23 Drew And just IV heroin?

13:24 Caller Yeah.

13:25 Drew Nothing else?

13:26 Caller No, that was my main deal.

13:28 Drew No methadone, anything like that?

13:29 Caller No, no, didn't do any of that.

13:33 Drew And you're how long off?

13:35 Caller It's been about two months.

13:36 Drew It could still be a withdrawal syndrome.

13:38 Caller Really?

13:39 Drew It really could and you can get, eventually you will get a restless leg syndrome that's permanent.

13:44 Caller Yeah, the twitching.

13:45 Drew Yeah, and part of that can be pain and coldness and all kinds of funny achy feelings in the legs. So this may be all part of your restless leg syndrome.

13:54 Caller Okay.

13:54 Drew And there are a couple of medications for that you really ought to take advantage of. One is called Cinemet CR and the other is called Miropex.

14:01 Caller Okay.

14:01 Drew And as you know well, you can't take pain medication.

14:03 Caller Right, right.

14:05 Adam Alright, hey, good times. Let's talk to Athena up there, what do you think?

14:09 Where?

14:09 Drew Okay.

14:10 Adam She's line five.

14:11 Drew Wait, this one was the one I wanted, actually came on and left and came back.

14:15 Adam Yeah?

14:15 Yeah.

14:16 Adam You want to talk to, is that Angel? Oh boy. Always trouble. Never name your kid Angel. That's the one and only thing I've learned from this show so far.

14:23 Drew Male or female?

14:24 Adam Doesn't matter. It's always ironic when they turn out to be junkies or murderers. Angel?

14:29 Yeah.

14:29 Adam You're 33?

14:30 Caller Yeah, I'm 33.

14:31 Adam What's up?

14:32 Caller Yeah, I got some questions I like to ask. Probably in the last year, I started experimenting with cocaine and I dragged my girlfriend into it with me. And, you know, we've been doing it for about a year already. And I don't like the effects it's having on me, but I somehow find myself addicted to it. Right.

14:53 Drew And then you need to be treated. Cocaine is a profoundly, profoundly addictive drug.

14:58 Caller Well, I didn't really know what I was getting into. I thought I could handle it.

15:01 Drew Yeah, well, everyone thinks that. But if you're not addicted, go ahead and stop. And if you can't stop, then you are addicted and you need to get treatment. There's no other way.

15:10 Caller There's no other way.

15:11 Adam How do you get the money for it?

15:13 Caller Well, I find myself in a position where it's easy for me to get.

15:17 Adam Are you dealing?

15:18 Caller No, not exactly.

15:20 Adam All right.

15:21 Caller But I surround myself with people that seem to make it easy on themselves.

15:26 Adam How much is a gram these days?

15:29 Caller I'm not really too sure about that.

15:31 Adam You know what I love about this show? I can never get a goddamn answer from anybody. I got a guy who's strung out on blow. I want to know how much a goddamn gram is. I can't get that. I can't even get a coke head to tell me how much a gram is going for in Indiana. How does that work, Drew? I cannot believe a guy who him and his girlfriend have been doing a ton of blow over the last year does not know what a gram costs.

16:00 Drew Just remember, whenever I ask a question, the answer is always no. You're just getting some of that.

16:05 Adam Well, this is, this is by the way, this is to those questions that don't have it where no answer won't work. Like I go, how much is a gram of coke? No, now that doesn't work.

16:14 Drew So I don't know.

16:15 Adam I don't know. Angel.

16:17 Drew Yeah.

16:18 Adam I want to know how much a gram of coke is going for.

16:21 I don't know.

16:23 Adam How much? Here we say. Angel.

16:26 Caller I don't really pay the same price as a lot of people are paying. A lot of it.

16:29 Adam All right. It's not fair, Drew. It's not fair. It's not fair that I can't even talk to a coke addict and get it.

16:42 Drew Strangely, when we all were threatened with destruction last week, people seemed to behave much more appropriately.

16:46 Adam I know.

16:47 Drew All of a sudden, all that crap let down. They stopped that BS for a week. A glorious week.

16:53 Adam All right. All right, Angel. So, you have no... even though you're strung out in the throes of addiction of cocaine, and you got your girlfriend hooked on it, you really have no idea what a gram of coke goes for. It's like 60 bucks. I understand that. Okay. Drew, tell them what he should do.

17:10 Drew You have to get treated, Angel. And if you want, you can start with CA. Just go to a 12-step program in your community. You'll find a lot of the people who have been through this, a lot of other people, and you'll figure out how people get over it.

17:24 Caller I have one question that can help me out with. The effects that the cocaine has on the body, I have my heart racing sometimes, and I'm not even doing it.

17:35 Drew Yeah, it causes heart attacks.

17:36 Adam Hold on, hold on. I don't know. Don't know.

17:38 Drew It causes heart attacks, it causes strokes, can even cause kidney failure, seizures.

17:42 Adam For those who are addiction medicine specialists, they don't know.

17:45 Drew They don't know nothing. And it all tends to occur when you're under the influence of the drug. You know, you can get panic attacks, you can start to get mood lability, even bipolar types of conditions, a lot of depression and irritability when you try to stop. So there's a lot to do this. You gotta get some support, and you may not be able to do it with a CI. You may have to go actually into a hospital and get treated. It's a bad disease.

18:09 Adam Can you really be a drug addict and not know how much the drug is? I mean, I understand he's not going down the corner and buying it on the street, but do you know what I'm saying?

18:18 Drew Yeah, I know what you're saying.

18:19 Adam Okay.

18:20 Drew I assume I've gotten used to the insolence.

18:22 Adam All right, not me. It's always new to me. It always feels like a fresh slap in the face. Athena?

18:28 Caller Yeah.

18:29 Adam That's an angel. Go to CA, would you? And then find out how much a gram of Coke is and call me back.

18:34 Caller No problem.

18:35 Adam No, not you, Athena. That's an angel's work. You, I need to smuggle in a brick of heroin from Mexico. Okay, baby?

18:45 Caller Okay.

18:45 Adam All right. What's your question?

18:47 Caller Hey, I just want to tell you that you're doing the Youth of America a wonderful, wonderful, good deed. And I appreciate you.

18:56 Adam Thank you.

18:57 Caller In fact, Dr. Drew inspired me to be a child psychologist and catch the psychos when they're young.

19:02 Drew Oh, good, Athena. Cool.

19:04 Caller Yeah. I just you guys are awesome. And I appreciate you.

19:07 Drew And you live in our favorite city too.

19:09 Caller Oh, really?

19:10 Adam Yeah, we love Chicago.

19:12 Caller Chicago is definitely the most awesome city in the world.

19:15 Adam Did you have a question?

19:17 Caller Yeah.

19:17 Drew I'm afraid to go there now because any city freaks me out.

19:19 Go ahead.

19:21 Caller Well, I have a boyfriend and he's four years younger than me. And it does seem very awkward because he's 14. And obviously, most 14 year olds are, you know, throwing, you know, spit-wide that they're teachers. And everything's stupid in the halls.

19:36 Adam What grade is he in?

19:38 Caller He's a freshman.

19:39 Adam So he's in the, is that ninth grade now?

19:42 Caller Yes.

19:42 Adam All right.

19:43 Caller And, and senior. And I, obviously, you know, we've been conflicted with it just based on our, our friends and family.

19:54 Adam Yeah.

19:55 Caller And it doesn't really cause a lot of problems with us.

19:57 Adam All right. How, how long has he been your boyfriend?

20:00 Caller It's about eight months.

20:02 Drew And to work good relationship?

20:03 Caller Very good. Wonderful.

20:05 Drew You said it's no problem with your families?

20:07 Caller No, it does have. We do have problems with our families. And, and that's just on the outside. You know, with us, we're, we're okay, but.

20:15 Drew What are the problems with the family?

20:19 Caller Mostly his mom and then my dad. It's, it's kind of awkward. And it just, it's causing that real, you know, tension. And, and it's, it's causing problems, you know, just like how to deal with it and stuff.

20:32 Adam And well, wait, are you having sex with him?

20:36 Caller No, no.

20:38 Drew I don't think your dad would be very happy with this.

20:40 Adam Yeah.

20:40 Caller Right.

20:41 Adam He got some guy with no pubes and essentially half a penis.

20:46 Drew Empty chambers.

20:47 Right.

20:50 Adam This guy's watching Spongebob and Mr. Bob. What the hell is that show, Drew, you love so much?

20:55 Drew Spongebob Squarepants.

20:57 Adam Spongebob Squarepants instead of what do you want? Some 24-year-old guy in a primered El Camino, pulling up, smoking a pack of butts and yelling at pops.

21:11 Drew I do find it peculiar that you would date someone that much younger than you, though, Athena. I mean, you're going to be going off to college, right?

21:17 Adam No.

21:17 Drew Pretty soon, daddy. Yeah. You're going to be a child in college. I'm going to get with it here.

21:23 Adam Well, she's dating her first patient. Here's the reality, Athena. You're not having sex, so it ain't that big a deal. You're a religious person, right? Exactly, yeah. You met the guy at church. You're doing okay in your studies and stuff. You're a little bit old fashioned and slightly retarded. I don't mean retarded in the retard way, but...

21:48 Drew Delayed.

21:49 Adam Delayed. A little delayed. You may be a little younger than... Younger emotionally than some of your 18-year-old peers. He may be a very old soul at 14. I give this thing my blessing.

22:02 Drew Yeah, it's going to be a little weird when she's going to college and sort of is in a different phase of her life and all, but...

22:08 Adam Yeah, I know how it is. She's graduating. He's trying to get his learner's permit. You know what I mean? I've been there. All right, we're going to take ourselves a break. Drew, who are we going to talk to when we come back?

22:22 Drew None of these are promotable. That's why I don't flip over there for you.

22:26 Adam Oh, I see, Drew.

22:27 Drew We're waiting to see what comes up.

22:29 Adam You're so above the pro. All right, here we go. I never brought anything up to you.

22:32 Drew There you go. We're going to find Lewis.

22:35 Adam No, listen, I don't care if they're not worth promoting, but don't think that I'm supposed to read that because you didn't put the little sticker next to the call.

22:43 Drew We need a new code.

22:44 Adam We're going to take a break, and we'll be back with a real jewel after this.

22:51 Hey, everybody.

22:53 Adam Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. We're going to speak to Eddie, who's 28. Eddie? Yes. What's up?

23:10 Caller It seems that lately I'm just falling into like hardcore porn. Recently, I've been on the internet, and you know, like on the internet, there's all these porn types.

23:24 Drew Eddie's freaking me out.

23:26 Adam Yeah. Why? Why is he freaking you out?

23:29 Drew Go ahead.

23:29 Adam There's porn on the internet. Yes, I'm writing.

23:32 Caller Right. And it's like, you go to these sites and there's a lot of hardcore stuff, stuff that you don't even like, you normally wouldn't even think of.

23:43 Adam Right.

23:44 Caller And like, you know, hardcore stuff.

23:47 Hold on.

23:48 Adam Let me write that down. What did he say? Hardcore?

23:50 This conversation can serve no purpose.

23:52 Adam Right.

23:53 Drew On the porn, on the internet, hardcore porn.

23:55 Adam All right. Keep going there, Eddie.

23:59 Caller And you get a lot of callers that it's just like a phase.

24:04 Adam Well, not a 28.

24:07 Drew No, getting into that in earnest is a commitment.

24:13 Caller I just feel kind of like, I mean, I just want to get rid of the whole thing, you know?

24:18 Adam Well, stop looking it up.

24:21 Drew There is such a thing as internet porn addiction.

24:26 Adam Which is really just sort of porn addiction that's convenient.

24:30 Drew I actually have some book references in my car, believe it or not. If you keep listening about another, till the next break, I'll go out and get those books and read the titles for you and the authors. Really, that's really thought, it's a distressing form of addiction. It's so available. It's a form of sexual compulsivity and it's so difficult to stop.

24:49 Adam It's like having a porn store on your desk. Yeah.

24:53 Caller Is there a number to call?

24:56 Drew Let me get you the numbers of these books, the names of these books in about, just listen to the show, ten more minutes, I'll get those titles for you.

25:01 Caller Yeah.

25:03 Adam Yeah, you know what, believe it or not, I don't know how to work a computer, although I did recently get on the internet and still have not looked up any porn.

25:13 Drew But he's really a true addict. I mean, he's distressed by it, it's preoccupying him, it's distracting him from normal activities. He can't stop, he's disturbed about it.

25:22 Adam Right.

25:23 Drew All right, it needs to be treated.

25:24 Adam Drew will give you a number. James?

25:26 Yeah.

25:27 Adam You're 18?

25:28 Caller I am.

25:29 Adam What's up?

25:29 Caller I'm wondering what Bully Reuben is in a urine test. I had a physical done last week and they told me that I had too much Bully Reuben in my *** basically.

25:38 Adam It's a sandwich, isn't it, Drew?

25:39 Drew Yeah, Bully Reuben in your ***.

25:41 Caller They didn't tell me what it meant or...

25:43 Drew It's a folk song in Utah...

25:44 Caller .I had to come back in a week and try to take the test again.

25:46 Drew Yeah, it's usually nothing in the urine. It's actually called urovalinogen in the urine. Bully Reuben is a breakdown product of hemoglobin metabolism. When your red cells die, the hemoglobin is what carries the oxygen that makes the red cells red. Your red cells are just packed with hemoglobin. They break down. They also are the main sort of a prominent chemical in bile. When your bile backs up, it's the bilirubin that makes your eyes turn yellow. That's direct bilirubin. There's an indirect bilirubin, which is more a byproduct of hemoglobin metabolism directly. It might be a sign of liver disease. It might not. It might be something you need to look into. There are hemolytic syndromes that show up in the urine where your blood will sort of start exploding for immune reactions.

26:29 Adam But if you see bilirubin in one's blood test or urine test, how much blood byproduct gets into the urine?

26:39 Drew Essentially not normally.

26:40 Adam So the fact that you have any blood borne stuff in your urine, isn't that a cause for alarm?

26:45 Drew Yeah, but it's probably a lab error. It's probably nothing. But there are autoimmune hemolytic anemias, they're called, that show up in the urine.

26:54 Adam So what are they going to do, re-test it?

26:56 Drew Re-check it and then check for hemolytic anemias after that. Check for hemolytic problems.

27:02 Adam Good times. Louis?

27:03 Hello?

27:04 Adam You're 18. What's up?

27:06 Caller Well, basically, I want to know what I can do, you know, to like stay away from trouble, because right now I've got this anger towards Islamic people.

27:14 Right.

27:14 Caller Because you know what's going on. So basically what I want to know is what I can do.

27:19 Adam Right.

27:20 Caller I can stay away from like, you know, hurting somebody, you know.

27:23 Drew Are you already that way, where you sort of have a lot of it?

27:26 Caller I mean, basically just looking at the people fall from the buildings and stuff like that, that really like pissed me off, you know.

27:32 Drew But before you went through all this, were you angry and did you act out?

27:35 Caller No, no, not at all.

27:36 Drew Not at all?

27:37 Caller No. I was like, normal, you know.

27:40 Adam Alright, so you're fired up.

27:42 Caller Yeah, like right now I just want to go out there, you know.

27:45 Adam Oh, you're 18. Why don't you join the services?

27:47 Drew I was going to say, why not?

27:48 Caller Uh, I'm thinking about that, but I mean...

27:50 Adam Well, wait a minute. Yeah, I mean, I know. Why, when you can, you can kick some innocent ass stateside, should you go serve your country?

27:57 Drew I mean, why would you want to take it out on fellow citizens who are as vulnerable as you are, and who are as upset as you are?

28:05 Caller Um, let's see.

28:07 Caller There's so many reasons, you know. First of all, we don't know if this guy really did this.

28:11 Drew Hey.

28:11 Caller Is that allowed in?

28:12 Drew Louis, but why would you take that anger out on fellow citizens who are as vulnerable and as upset as you are?

28:18 Caller Um, I don't know, because basically, that's who they're blaming. They're using them like a scapegoat or stuff.

28:24 Drew Louis, they're blaming a for- someone who lives in another country.

28:27 Caller No, but, I mean-

28:29 Drew Not Americans.

28:30 Caller Uh, I know.

28:31 Drew And you want to take it out on Americans.

28:33 Caller Yeah, but what I'm calling for is to find out what I can do, you know, to help in another way.

28:38 Adam Oh, all right. Well, A, you're 18. You're not heading for Princeton next year, are you?

28:45 Drew Nah.

28:45 Adam Shocking, shocking.

28:46 Drew Not unless his bong comes with him. I hear that laugh.

28:49 Adam Take that bong. Louis, seriously, why don't you join the services?

28:53 Drew I'll do that.

28:53 Adam Well, I mean, let's break it down. As you know, I make fun of the services. It's above high school. No, it's a little below college, but it's above junior college. It really is. Here's the deal, Louis. You're not going anywhere. You're not doing anything, right?

29:13 Caller Nah.

29:13 Adam I mean, do you have some rich uncle who owns some furniture store you can work at?

29:18 Caller Nah, not at all.

29:19 Adam No, and you're not going to a four-year university. Did you already graduate high school?

29:24 Caller No, I'm still in high school.

29:25 Adam You're 18.

29:26 Caller Yeah, I just started 18. It's like this 18 service thing, which if you're 18 already and you're a road, you can't get out.

29:33 Adam Okay. Here's my point. Why don't you look into, like, ROTC?

29:38 Drew Yeah, I was going to say, you can still begin training and focusing and planning for something where you can make a difference.

29:43 Adam Let me tell you something, too, for anyone who plans on being a loser. Join the service. No, here's why. There is no racial bigotry here. Yeah, you ought to play the end of that one. That's good.

29:58 Get on your knees, scumbag.

30:00 Adam No, I'm talking about the end of his racial bigotry line in full metal jacket because he goes into the wafts of the spigs. That's a great movie. Now listen.

30:08 Caller I just got that movie on Saturday.

30:10 Adam Louis, listen to me.

30:11 Caller What?

30:11 Adam You go into the Army, you sit around and do nothing for about four years and you get medical and dental for the rest of your life. Plus, you got all these GI bills and all these low interest loans. It's really a loser's paradise. They'll take care of you. If the wheels come off the wagon and life doesn't go the way you think it should, these people will take care of you your whole life. I have friends that have done this. All right. So look into like ROTC and stuff and then look into giving blood and donating money to the families and raising all that stuff.

30:45 Drew Check your local fire department. They have all kinds of things that they're suggesting now.

30:49 Adam Oh, really?

30:50 Drew Yeah, they all have.

30:51 Adam Okay, listen. Here's the point. Everyone has a lot of energy.

30:55 Drew I went down to the Rose Bowl and gave to a passing fire department, created a fund. And they were collecting down there and went and did it.

31:03 Adam Yeah. Everybody has energy. And the energy comes from sitting and watching way too much TV and seeing these very violent, shocking images. And there's a lot of energy and a lot of anger involved with that. So you have this extra energy. You could go down to the gas station and chuck a rock through the window at the Islamic guy who's working behind the cash register, which, by the way, I don't condone now, but a few weeks ago, I really wanted to do that because you guys are all a-holes at these gas stations. Jesus Christ. Drop the attitude. Anyway, or you could channel this into raising money for the victim's families and giving blood and doing all the right things. Put the energy into doing the right thing. You will feel much better and it will be a nice release for your energy. Brian?

31:53 Yeah?

31:53 Adam You're 14?

31:54 Caller Yes, I am.

31:55 Adam What's up?

31:56 Caller Well, at school, my friends, we had a hangout and one day we were playing hacky sack in this group of freshmen came by and they asked if they could play and we didn't want to make their lives like miserable or whatever. They're freshmen, they weren't friends and stuff, so we let them play, right?

32:15 Adam What are you? Are you a freshman?

32:17 Caller No, I'm a sophomore. Oh, okay. We've had this spot for like generations upon generations.

32:23 Adam Your hacky sack spot?

32:25 Caller Yeah.

32:26 Drew Generations. Your fathers and grandfathers all played hacky sack there.

32:29 Caller Seniors would adopt the freshmen every year and keep the traditional lives.

32:35 Adam To play hacky sack?

32:37 Caller Well, that's just our sport, our class sport.

32:40 Adam Oh, you're calling from Petaluma?

32:42 Caller Yes, I am.

32:43 Adam Oh, that is the Hesher capital of the world. Only in the Hesher capital of the world, Petaluma, could hacky sack is one of the major sporting activities.

32:52 Drew Well, it's a defining cultural event. They have an arena which gets passed on in ritualistic fashion. Oh, my God.

33:01 Adam Yes, the handing of the ceremonial pewter bong from one underclassmen to another. It's a beautiful and rich ceremony, Drew.

33:10 Caller That's the funny thing is because we play hacky sack, but we're not stoners or anything.

33:15 Adam Yeah, but your community is nothing but stoners, am I right?

33:18 Drew Remember that generational sort of, you must keep up the cause of the generations. You haven't really stepped up yet.

33:25 Adam So you're playing hacky sack, right? And you let this guy play.

33:29 Caller Well, this group of freshmen, they just came by and we let them play and it ends up that they keep coming back and they they're like mad stoners and stuff, right?

33:42 Adam Shocking.

33:43 Caller Huh?

33:44 Drew Shocking.

33:46 Adam Mad stoners in Petaluma?

33:48 Caller Yeah, really.

33:49 Adam Oh, man.

33:50 Caller Well, anyway, we want to keep the group kind of to ourselves.

33:54 Adam Yeah, okay. Well, tell the stoners to leave you alone.

33:57 Caller Well, I want to, but I want to know how to do it in kind of a polite way. I don't want to be mad.

34:02 Adam I see. Well, listen, how big a space do you need for this hacky sack? Eight feet by eight feet?

34:07 Caller Well, we have, we have the area. If they, there's other people like 20 feet away from us, and they hang out over there, but they like hanging around us.

34:20 Adam Well, I'll tell you what, Brian, here's what you need to do.

34:23 Caller Okay.

34:24 Adam You need to convene, have a little powwow with the original Hexakians, who had played there before these new Hesher's came on, onto your turf.

34:37 Caller Yeah.

34:37 Adam And talk to these guys, how many? I don't know, 8, 10, 12 guys, how many guys show up there for the regular game, and talk to these guys and come up with a plan, because you all need to be on the same page.

34:48 Caller Right.

34:48 Adam You can't hatch your own plan and have guys not going along with you. There's nothing worse than that infighting that goes on. You need to talk to your fellow hexachians and say, look, are we going to find a new spot? Are we going to tell these guys to piss off? What are we going to do? Whatever it is, get on the same page and do it.

35:06 Drew But he wants to try to communicate with them on the side, just say, hey guys, you know.

35:10 Adam I know, but you can't pull a guy aside and go, hey guys, it'd be cool if you got 11 other guys yelling, Mark it back here, dude, we're playing.

35:19 Drew But if there's one of them that you feel sort of civil with, pick them aside and say, hey, this is a...

35:25 Adam Talk to their leader.

35:26 Drew I know, this is a group of friends we get together every morning. We have a ritual we like to keep to ourselves.

35:31 Adam And do you think Hacky Sack could thrive in any other environment other than the Stone Age of Petaluma? Really, Drew, seriously.

35:40 Drew I thought it went out a long time ago. Let's take a break. I'll get those books for Eddie.

35:44 Adam Oh, right, on Internet Addiction. All right, we'll take a break. We'll be back. It's Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there.

36:04 Drew Well, guess what? I don't have the specific reference for the Internet Addiction. There is an author by the name of Weiss, W-E-I-S, who wrote a book on Internet Addiction and in terms of sexual addiction, in which you can sort of get some references on Internet Addiction per se. Let me get you one good one here. Out of the Shadows, Understanding Sexual Addictions by Patrick Karn, C-A-R-N-E-S.

36:29 Adam What's that about?

36:30 Drew It's a book?

36:31 Adam You buy it on the Internet, ironically?

36:33 Drew Sure.

36:34 Adam You know, when he boots up that Internet, though, he's going right to the, right to the anal.

36:37 Drew I'm going to fall behind.

36:39 Adam Okay. Drew, I want to tell you about my grandmother.

36:42 Drew Oh, on the air. Fine. I'm ready.

36:45 Adam Her DVD.

36:46 Drew Yeah.

36:47 Adam I went and visited my 87-year-old grandmother today. She's not getting around as good as she used to, but she's got plenty of feist in her. And, you know, she's a member of the Academy. Actually, my grandfather was. He gets a vote on the Academy Awards, and he's passed away four or five years ago, but she still keeps the membership going, so she gets all the freebie movies.

37:08 Drew She gets a vote too?

37:09 Adam Yeah. She does vote.

37:11 Drew God.

37:11 Adam Well, you know, they send you the movies, and then you get the vote. And here's the deal. My grandmother starts getting these movies. She'll get all these movies not only before they go to DVD or go to the video store, but she'll get these movies sometimes before they get to the theater. Be some big Tom Cruise blockbuster. It'll be out in theaters coming up this week, and she'll have it on her shelf.

37:36 Drew Right.

37:36 Adam Right. And there's something golden about that. I don't know why these movies turn to ask the second you can see them, but there's something very alluring about having a movie that other people can't see.

37:48 Drew Yeah, you're the first one. You've seen the whole thing, not just the trailer.

37:50 Adam Right. So I told my grandma today, she said, you know, this year there's a DVD box. You can check that. They can send them to you in DVD. I said, oh, grandma, check that box. Because these DVDs, they got the digital sound, they got the digital audio. You can do 150 movies in the space it would take up on the shelf of, you know, 20 of those video cassettes. And it's just better all the way around. She said, yeah, I don't know, I don't have a DVD player. I said, I'll buy you a DVD player. And not only, you know, is it better, but then I'm going to get morbid. But I said, as far as your legacy, when you leave somebody this big stash of films, it'd be nice if it was in DVD, because that's going to be the technology of the future. It's pretty antiquated, the VCR, the VHS cassette already. So be nice, you have a DVD, save some space, have some clarity. Don't have to rewind. I'll buy a DVD player. No, no, I'm not going to do that. All right.

38:56 Drew You know why.

38:58 Adam Maybe because it was my idea.

39:00 Drew Your idea.

39:00 Adam I don't know. You know what she said?

39:02 Drew You mentioned taking them when she's gone.

39:05 Adam She said, she said, a lot of my friends don't have DVD players. I said, good, keep that leech Jules Mandel from coming over here in Bogart and every one of these goddamn things. Big old Jules Mandel comes clopping down the street, takes five movies, it goes back to Encino, it doesn't come back for a month.

39:24 Drew There's that. And then what she's also telling is they're the recipients of the films when she goes.

39:29 Adam Oh, whatever it was, it was, it really was just another, I just, I felt like screaming, this is why I'm a winner. This is why I'm not, I'm going to change my name to Schmechelberg. From Corolla. Corolla. They're all losers, losers. Jeremy, you're 23, what's up?

39:49 Caller Hey, long time listener, you guys are really great. You guys are entertaining. I wanted to call in reference to Lewis, and you suggested he joined the military.

39:58 Drew Yeah.

39:59 Caller I just wanted to say in high school, I was going nowhere, and I definitely wasn't going to college, and I joined the Navy, and man, it has been the best thing I've ever done in my life.

40:07 Drew Really?

40:08 Caller Good. Good. I've been there about five years, and I'm E5, and just moving up real quick, and having a great time. I've done a real good job.

40:16 Drew Are you still at the Navy?

40:18 Caller Yeah, I'm on my second enlistment now.

40:20 Drew Does the current world situation trouble you?

40:23 Caller Well, it looks like I might be pulled off shore duty and sent back to the ship, but I welcome that.

40:28 Adam What ship are you on? Laundry ship?

40:31 Caller No, I used to be on a destroyer.

40:33 Drew Wow.

40:33 Adam Ah, that's nice. That's destroyers. It's got the word destroy right in the title. That's what I like about it.

40:39 Caller Absolutely.

40:40 Adam And what would you do on that destroyer?

40:43 Caller I'm a cryptologist.

40:44 Adam Ah-ha. You read bumps on the captain's head? No, you decipher messages?

40:51 Caller Yeah, I break code, things like that.

40:53 Caller Nice.

40:54 Adam So you're right in the mine center of the ship, right? I mean, you're in the middle somewhere?

41:02 Caller No, actually, we're kind of off to the sides. We used to do our own little thing. We kept the ship in form of what was going on, and we did the thing.

41:10 Drew Is that going to be a big part of what's coming for you guys?

41:15 Caller I really can't say, but probably not.

41:20 Adam So you may be shipping out soon?

41:22 Caller Yeah.

41:22 Adam All right. Hey, does that destroy it? Should we go back on the destroyer?

41:27 Caller I'm not sure. It depends on where they want me to go. But I'm an instructor now in San Diego, but it depends on where they want me to go, where they can utilize me the best.

41:36 Adam Did that destroyer have the failing system?

41:40 Caller The failing?

41:41 Adam Yeah.

41:42 Caller Yeah, the CWIS?

41:43 Adam Yeah, the machine gun, the gallon gun?

41:46 Caller The gallon gun, uh-huh.

41:47 Adam Oh, that is my... How great is that thing?

41:50 Caller That thing is awesome. I got to fire it, actually.

41:52 Adam Oh, you did?

41:54 Caller Yeah, I got to load it and push the button, and I got the shells from it and everything. It's great.

41:59 Adam That is it. I mean, how many rounds a second or a minute does that thing spit out?

42:05 Caller 3,500 rounds a minute.

42:07 Adam 3,500 rounds a minute of spent uranium, right?

42:12 Caller Depleted uranium.

42:13 Adam Well, that's the same thing. Thank you. I mean, that thing would just shred... That thing would like shred a school bus in just seconds. 3,500 rounds a minute.

42:26 Drew Why does it need the uranium? What does that do?

42:29 Adam It's depleted uranium because it's like one of the hardest substances known to man. It theoretically doesn't have any uranium in it or doesn't have any...

42:41 Drew Radioactivity.

42:42 Adam Thank you. Thank you very much. All right. So, everyone, join up. Join the Navy. Listen, all you losers, join the service. Absolutely. Because let me tell you what the next four years are going to be like for you guys who aren't going off to college. You're going to think about taking a few classes at the Junior College. You're going to take a couple of classes at the Junior College. You're going to fail out of those because you're a bad student. Remember, that's why you're going to the Junior College. You're a poor student. Otherwise, you'll be going to a real college. You'll fail out of those. You'll probably pick up some herpetic lesion on your penis or something that some co-core girlfriend of yours is going to give you. You'll kick in and out of jobs a little. You'll train as like an ambulance driver for three weeks, and then they'll find pot in your system and screw that up. The next four years from 18 to 22, you're not doing S. It's not like you're going to have a degree and a career at the end of that. You'll have nothing. Do this. You get a dental plan and maybe get to go over there and hand out a little payback.

43:44 Drew Ambulance driver is not a term you can use anymore.

43:46 Adam That's right. EMS.

43:48 Drew Allison. Allison?

43:50 Hello.

43:51 Drew Hey, what's going on?

43:55 Well, nothing. I used to work at a dating service and I know you guys sat there and told some guy that he should go to a professional service.

44:04 Drew I have several friends that do that with great success. I have two that are married because of it.

44:07 Well, you know, I used to work at one. Actually, I used to work at two. And most of the time, this is what I found. The guys were really desperate. They could never get dates. They couldn't get dates in high school much less any other time. And the women were really picky.

44:23 Adam Okay.

44:24 Occasionally, there were some good guys. And occasionally, there were some dumpy. But for the most part, it was like a joke.

44:32 Adam But here it is. And I agree with you. But it at least gets you in the game.

44:37 Yeah, but for the cost of $3,000.

44:40 Adam Well, I know that... Come on. Okay. Listen, I'm not a huge fan of these things either. But when it's a choice between that and nothing, and you got a guy who doesn't have a job or there's any women around, and he has difficulty in social situations, I do it also... You know where you can score? I have a few guys I know do this, that... Jew date, the J date.

45:01 Drew What's that?

45:02 Adam Jewish dating thing.

45:03 Drew What's that?

45:04 Adam That's like a whole network of Jewish dating stuff going on.

45:08 Drew Matchmaker.

45:09 Adam Yeah. And here's the point. Yeah. From Fiddler on the Roof.

45:13 Drew Yeah.

45:13 Adam There's the point. I don't think they need to see any Jew credentials, do they, Drew? What do they call those? Judentials? The point is, is you can just say you're Jewish and join in. Gets yourself a nice Jewish chick. Big ass, but, you know, smart, right? All the stereotypes, right, Drew?

45:32 Drew Oh, her parents are going to freak. Then the credentials need to be produced.

45:39 Adam Here's, well, look, if you guys have a kid is going to take on, according to the faith, the religion of the mom anyway. So you're fine. I'm telling you, that J-date thing, I got a friend, he goes on eight dates a week.

45:50 Drew Who?

45:50 Adam Absolutely, Mitch from The Man Show. He does it. We always make fun of him, but it does. You post your little bio thing, how old you are, what you like. Yeah, it's internet thing, and they just keep sending them your way. It's just about numbers. It's turnover. By the way, turnover, Drew, I wasn't saying turn over. I was actually telling you to turn over. I'm horny now. We're going to take a break.

46:13 Caller We'll be right back.

46:27 Adam Hey, y'all, it's the Love Line.

46:29 Caller I'm Adam, that's Brew over there.

46:31 Adam Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Let's get back to the bread and butter of the show and speak to Sarah, who's 15. Sarah?

46:40 Caller Hi, I don't know what to do. Recently, I just ran away because I didn't want to deal with my mom. Stuff no more. Like, I'm tired of her abusing me.

46:51 Drew Physically abusing you?

46:52 Caller Yeah, physically, mentally, both.

46:54 Drew Yeah, I mean, kids only run away from home, and really run away when they're being abused. And I don't know. You know, I don't know if any stories where running away turns out better.

47:04 Caller Yeah, and now she's calling all my friends and, like, saying that she's going to call the cops on them to figure out where I am. And, like...

47:15 Drew What about going to Child Protective Services?

47:18 Caller I don't know. I don't know. I freeze up when I do that.

47:22 Drew She's done it before.

47:23 Adam What kind of stuff is your mom doing to you?

47:25 Caller Like, if I wouldn't listen to her when she first called me, she would slap me.

47:29 Drew Yeah, that's not right.

47:31 Caller Or she would, like, show food in my face.

47:34 Adam Mexican or Italian?

47:35 Caller Mexican.

47:36 Adam I knew it was one.

47:38 Caller She is half Samoan and half Hawaiian, but she was raised as a Mexican.

47:43 Caller No.

47:44 Adam That's a tough, that's like a part pit bull, but raises a Rottweiler.

47:48 Caller Yeah.

47:49 Adam Yeah, that's, that's, that's not only feisty, but with big calves to back it up too. Yeah, that's tough.

47:56 Drew I've got a hotline number for you. Want that number?

47:58 Adam Yeah, please. You got a pen? Yeah.

48:01 Drew 800.

48:02 Huh?

48:03 Drew 800.

48:04 800?

48:05 Drew 422.

48:06 Adam It's one of those 800 numbers?

48:10 Drew 422-4453.

48:13 Caller Five three?

48:14 Drew Yeah, 422.

48:15 Caller And what is this?

48:16 Drew It's just a helpline for people, young people, including these kinds of services.

48:21 Adam Do you have a dad?

48:22 Caller Yeah, but he's currently, like, not, like, able to help me.

48:27 Adam Where is he?

48:28 Caller He is, like, trying to get on his own. Like, he was, like...

48:33 Drew Trying to go away from his parents?

48:35 Adam He's thinking about moving out. Yeah, he's trying to do what?

48:38 Caller He's, like, trying to get back on his feet. He just lost his job. And so now he can't really take care of anybody. He's really taking care of himself.

48:46 Adam Yeah, he lives at home with your mom?

48:48 Caller Yeah.

48:49 Adam Can't he sort of step up and say, hey, you'll not abuse my daughter?

48:55 Caller It's kind of like my mom wears the pants and he wears a skirt.

48:58 Adam I see. Can both people wear pants, by the way, or does one automatically have to put the skirt on?

49:04 Drew You know, they end up peeing at each other and stuff. I know guys are.

49:07 Adam So you mean if the wife wears the pants in the family, you can't wear pants too?

49:11 Drew You can, but it's a hassle.

49:13 Adam You have to wear it. What if you compromise like a gaucho?

49:17 Drew Capri?

49:17 Adam A capri-type man with a smart espoir drill sandal? Hi, hey, Sarah. Yeah, call that number and talk to those good folks. And they deal with a lot of this.

49:29 Drew Get going home and call Child Protective Service. Let them know what's happening because the best thing that can happen is you go home and your home gets some help. You don't have to be abused. Of course, when kids are abused, they run away. Of course.

49:43 Adam Yeah. Oh, why wouldn't you? Everyone runs away when they're abused. You get out of whatever that space you're in that's the abuse space. Cameron?

49:52 Yeah.

49:53 Adam You're 20?

49:54 Caller Yep.

49:56 Adam You're into Coke? Yeah. How much for a gram?

49:59 Caller It's about 30 bucks for a gram. You can get it for 25, if you know the guy.

50:03 Adam Oh my God. How is the Coke for 25 bucks a gram?

50:07 Caller The guy goes through. Pretty good.

50:09 Adam Pretty good?

50:10 Caller Pretty good stuff.

50:11 Adam 25 a gram? Jesus, that's cheap. I mean, it adds up, but it used to be like 125 back when me and Drew were doing it.

50:19 Caller Really?

50:19 Adam Yeah. We were knee deep in the nose can. It was 100, you know, disco, 80s. Yeah. Sure. All right. So anyway, you want to stop doing it?

50:30 Caller Yeah. Well, I've been doing it for about a year and a half. I've been sober now for six months. One of the problems is I kind of replaced the cocaine addiction with heavy, heavy drinking.

50:41 Drew Okay. Well, that's not sober. That's just switching to something else.

50:44 Caller Off the coke.

50:45 Drew No, just switching. It's all the same. That's what happens. Once a powerfully addictive drug sort of charges up your chemistry to a certain level of reward need, you can switch to any of a number of drugs, but you'll have to use a lot of them.

50:58 Caller Yeah.

50:59 Drew You can use benzodiazepines, you can use pot, you can use alcohol. It's all the same.

51:03 Caller I was kind of wondering, I heard you talking to the guy earlier. You mentioned some of the bipolar disorders and stuff like that, resulting from-

51:10 Drew Yeah, you get a lot of panic attacks and anxiety. Moods can be all over the place.

51:14 Caller Okay.

51:14 Drew But you're drinking right now, so you're in the middle of alcoholism, so all bets are off.

51:18 Caller Oh, yeah. So did I not make a good decision in trading? I just need to quit all of it or-

51:24 Drew No, you didn't make any decision. You just moved on with your disease. Yeah. And if you want to do something about it, go- you're welcome to if you're ready.

51:32 Adam How much drinking do you do?

51:34 Caller Well, I've cut back on that. I mainly do it on the weekends. I have a couple beers when I get home from work at night, but on the weekends, I usually go out to party or party here. When I'm partying here, I usually put away about a case a night or so.

51:47 Adam A case of beer, huh?

51:51 Drew That was solid.

51:53 Adam I had AA. Go to AA.

51:55 Drew When did party, that term, just get wasted? There was some mystery to party in the 70s. It could have meant just hanging out, having a nice time. Now, if someone says party, that means, hey, I'm getting wasted.

52:09 Adam Right. Right? Yeah. It used to be like Lionel Richie would be singing about partying and party people.

52:16 Drew Dancing, socializing, maybe intoxicating, but not necessarily categorically. That's what's going on.

52:24 Adam It's a nice euphemism for getting effed up.

52:27 Drew Yeah. It used to have a little mystery attached to it.

52:30 Adam I think partying became getting effed up when hooking up became sodomy.

52:35 Drew It's precisely the same kind of a term. Because hooking up is like, well, we could have just sat and talked or it could have been full scale anal sex.

52:42 Adam But, yeah, I think it's a way to soften the blow part in the pun. I mean, when you go, yeah, we partied pretty good and then we hooked up. It was like we did a bunch of blow and then...

52:54 Drew Slammed heroin.

52:55 Adam Slammed heroin and then I pulled the train with him and his buddies. I mean, that's really what partying and hooking up has become, Drew.

53:02 Drew That's certainly in the range of possible experiences under those terms.

53:07 Adam Good times.

53:08 Julia?

53:09 Caller Oh, yeah.

53:10 Adam Hey, you're 18. What's up?

53:11 Caller Uh, nothing.

53:12 Adam All right.

53:13 Caller Yeah.

53:15 Caller Yeah, okay.

53:17 Caller How was it? Oh, yeah, okay.

53:19 Caller I had unprotected sex last week. And I hadn't had sex probably like five months or so. It was the only guy I've ever been with and it was an ex and all that stuff, but whatever. I was scheduled to go to the gynecologist on Friday because it's been a year since my last visit.

53:37 Drew Okay.

53:38 Adam Right.

53:38 Caller But I forgot that I'm supposed to be starting my period and I got home from work today and I went to the bathroom and I was like, Oh, damn, I started. I forgot.

53:44 Drew Well, you can still go. I know, but I'm like this.

53:47 Adam Do you have to tip them out a little more?

53:48 Caller But it's not like regular. It's thick and brown.

53:52 Adam Thick and what?

53:53 Drew Brown.

53:53 Adam Oh, hold on. I'm going to heave.

53:55 Caller Anything else? Anything else?

53:58 Drew Any pelvic pain? Anything like that?

53:59 Caller No, nothing.

54:00 Caller I'm just kind of freaking out because I'm really paranoid about diseases.

54:05 Adam Is it considered poor etiquette to go to your gynecologist when you're on your period?

54:09 Drew Yeah, sometimes.

54:11 Caller You don't do that?

54:11 Drew I mean, if you're worried about an STD, you go when you go. It's not that big a deal.

54:15 Adam Bad times.

54:16 Caller I don't know. If it's not a big deal, I just want to know.

54:18 Drew It's hard when you're having regular screening, you know, you're yearly examined. You can't really inspect things the way you'd like to because it's all covered.

54:26 Adam Right.

54:26 Drew There's stuff in there.

54:27 Adam Well, but you get in there with a little...

54:29 Drew No, it's hard to swab it out.

54:30 Adam A little compressed air.

54:32 Drew No.

54:32 Adam Really just blow it out of there.

54:33 Drew You'd have to have like a...

54:35 Adam How about one of those high pressure nozzles that they use to clean the sidewalk in front of the supermarket?

54:40 Drew No, you still wouldn't be able to put that in and visualize things. So we need those things that dentists have that squirt and suck, that vacuum.

54:48 Adam Well, the suck thing, they just hook on you.

54:50 Drew And then they squirt.

54:51 Adam Right. Yeah. Except for, they make sure to ice the water down before it hits your very sensitive teeth. That's part of the diabolical dentist program. So Julia.

55:03 Caller Yeah.

55:03 Adam That and Drew, what's up?

55:05 Drew I don't make anything of that, Julia, but I'm glad you're due to see the gynecologist.

55:08 Caller Oh, yeah, because I freak out, especially because he's not a very clean person. Well, I don't know. I'm just suspicious that he's not very clean.

55:13 Drew I don't make anything of you. If you have pelvic pain, discharge pain with urination, fevers, go be seen right away.

55:19 Adam Wait, who's not a clean person? Your boyfriend?

55:22 Drew Not a boyfriend, the hookup.

55:23 Adam Oh, the hookup. Oh, you guys partied and then hooked up?

55:26 Caller No, no.

55:28 Caller Nothing like that. I get scared and I was already going to go, but I just...

55:33 Adam Well, let's see. If you're a paranoid person, don't hook up with filthy people.

55:39 Caller It's because there's a whole history between him and me. I don't know, whatever. I was stupid.

55:44 Caller But there's nothing too much unless I have pain with the urination and what not.

55:48 Drew Urination, discharge, pelvic pain, fever.

55:51 Adam Right. So the thick brown bloody period does not mean that there's any kind of problem. I mean venereal wise.

55:59 Drew No. Doesn't necessarily mean anything.

56:01 Caller All right.

56:02 Adam Robert?

56:03 Caller Yeah.

56:04 Adam You're 32?

56:05 Caller Yeah.

56:05 Adam What's up?

56:07 Caller I was listening to the station while I was going. I was hearing that boy talk about a hanky sack. We were just trying to figure out what the hell it was.

56:14 Adam Oh, really? And you know this sounds like Drew? Remember Andy Griffith used to do those spoken word things in the 50s and 60s? Yeah.

56:22 Drew It was comedy.

56:23 Adam It was comedy. He would explain what football was.

56:26 Drew Right.

56:27 Adam And stuff like that.

56:28 Drew These boys, they go out on the field.

56:30 Adam And they got themselves a skin, a pig skin, a field with air. And it's one feller. He tosses it to the other feller.

56:36 Drew He throws it and they commence a fight and a scratch.

56:41 Adam How the hell do you know that, Drew? You're not supposed to know anything I know or comment about on the air. That's what Robert sounds like with the hacky sack. Robert?

56:51 Caller Yeah.

56:52 Adam Yeah. So you want to know what the hacky sack is?

56:54 Caller Yeah.

56:55 Adam Okay. Here's the thing. Hacky sack. Here's what I want to say. You're calling from where, like North Carolina?

57:03 Caller No. I'm in Ontario, California right now, but I drive a truck from North Carolina.

57:08 Adam Okay. Hacky sack is what the guys you hang out with would play instead of horseshoes if you swapped moonshine for weed. You understand?

57:21 Drew And swapped sunshine for, like, thundershine.

57:25 Adam Moonshine?

57:26 Drew Yeah. I mean, you know what I mean? The desert. You need the heat to bake the brain properly.

57:30 Adam Right. Now, it's what guys who smoke a lot of weed do.

57:34 Drew And live in the Southwest.

57:37 Adam It's considered an exercise regimen or a sports team for guys who smoke a lot of weed.

57:42 Drew It's a little ball filled with, like, beads, seeds.

57:47 Adam Yeah. It's not quite sand, but it's a... Yeah, it's like a little bean bag.

57:51 Drew Yeah. And they kick it around. They keep it in the air. Like, kick it around like a soccer ball, kind of.

57:57 Adam Yeah, I would say that it's a little smaller than a tennis ball. And it's not really...

58:02 Drew A little bigger than a golf ball.

58:03 Adam Not really round. It's kind of... It's got sides to it.

58:07 Drew Octagonal, kind of, yeah.

58:09 Adam And stone guys, it's made of leather. It's really something that... It's a sport that could be thousands of years old if they smoked weed thousands of years ago. You there, Robert? No, he...

58:20 Drew He has too much.

58:21 Adam Yeah, an asshole of us. But I think it really is... I think it really is the equivalent of horseshoes for guys who smoke weed and don't drink. And horseshoes is what drunk guys do. You see what I'm saying? You can't play hacky sack when you're drunk, you'll vomit. You ever try that? No. Shumping up and down, kicking like a retard. Whatever's in you, like that 12-pack you just put down is coming back up. All right. Interesting. They doesn't know what hacky sack is, but I think it's a west coast thing.

58:49 Drew It's a west, southwest, yeah.

58:50 Adam So what you do is then you throw this sack up, this little bean bag.

58:54 Drew Not really southwest, because Northern California got a lot of it too.

58:57 Adam Shut up. And you kick it back and forth, basically with the inside of your ankle, right? Is that the attempt? And you kick it back and forth to other guys that are equally stoned. And usually the game breaks up when a Birkenstock flies off a foot and takes a guy's eye. It takes a guy's eye out, or even worse, right when he's taking a draw off a joint, that thing smacks him right in the face. That's usually how it ends. And really, the Hesher sport, though, you want to know what the true Hesher sport is? Ultimate Frisbee. That's for the motivated Hesher. That's football with a Frisbee. Anything with a Frisbee. That's for the Hesher's that have a little more energy.

59:38 Caller Josh?

59:39 Yeah, hello?

59:40 Adam You're 18?

59:41 Caller Yes.

59:41 Adam What's up?

59:43 Caller I have, I just want to, like, all right, I just want some advice about, about this sort of like, it's a relationship. Okay, all right. I'm kind of nervous. I'm sorry. Okay.

59:52 Caller All right.

59:54 Caller There's this girl and I met her. You know what Yahoo Chat is, right? Yeah, all right. I met her off chat, okay? And then like, all right, she gave me her phone number and we talked for a long time. Went on for like a couple weeks and things got really intense. And then, okay, then she came over a few times. She spent the night. And then, like, for some reason, I got really, like, I'm kind of emotional. So I got emotional. And I guess she kind of backed off or something. And she sort of called me and we still connect like we did before, sort of. And she just called me yesterday. And I just want to know, do you think she likes me or?

1:00:31 Adam No, no, no.

1:00:33 Drew Oh, what the?

1:00:35 Adam What?

1:00:35 Caller Steven, I'm sorry.

1:00:36 Adam Yeah. Hey, Josh. Yeah. Now, when you got a little emotional with her, she backed down. Like maybe you freaked her out a little bit.

1:00:45 Caller Well, she didn't want to. She said she didn't want to meet. Well, she had really. We both have like issues, like pretty big, like major issues, sort of.

1:00:52 All right.

1:00:53 Adam But yes or no, when you got a little emotional, did she back off?

1:00:57 Caller Yeah, she told me that she didn't want.

1:00:59 Adam The word's yes, right?

1:01:00 Yes.

1:01:01 Adam OK. And since she backed off, she cooled off a little bit and you guys have renewed it a little bit. She called you.

1:01:09 Drew She keeps checking in.

1:01:10 Caller Last night.

1:01:11 Adam She's checking in with you. So you didn't totally freak her out. There's some interest, right? And what base did you get to with her?

1:01:22 Caller I'm pretty nervous around girls. I didn't do anything. I could have. I could have, you know.

1:01:26 Adam Yeah, you could have. Yeah. If he had enough duct tape.

1:01:31 Drew Why don't you just ask her out to dinner? Take her out to dinner somewhere. Even if it's Taco Bell. Take her out to dinner and just see what happens.

1:01:39 Adam Don't take her out to Taco Bell, though.

1:01:41 Drew You know what I mean? But the point is just get, you know, see if she wants to go spend some time alone.

1:01:45 Caller You mean ask her?

1:01:47 Drew Yeah.

1:01:47 Caller Oh, all right.

1:01:48 Adam Hey, Josh, let me give you some real important advice.

1:01:52 Caller All right.

1:01:53 Adam Now, listen, and I want to give this to all the spazzy guys out there. I played basketball with Dr. Bruce today, by the way, so I got spaz weighing heavily on my mind. You think he's a spaz on the show, you got to see him on the court.

1:02:06 Caller I've had anal sex and I passed out a couple of times.

1:02:08 Adam Bruce, please. What's going on inside of your mind is a crazy like flee circus where there's a trapeze and a ringmaster and elephants and it's crazy chaos going on in your mind and you're nervous and your heart's pounding and your thoughts are racing, your mind is racing, right? Yeah, you're right. Right. But the only way she's going to know about that is if you open your mouth and let all those crazy neurotic nervous thoughts fly out of your mouth in the form of speech. Do you understand? So you may be crapping bricks, your mind may be going a mile a minute, but you don't have to freak around. She doesn't necessarily know. Brevity. Do not speak so much. Okay. It's ironic that I'm telling someone not to talk too much.

1:03:01 Drew No, because you don't want anyone speaking besides you.

1:03:04 Adam Right. I'm talking way too much about not talking right now, but just quiet down. All guys do this. Drew, am I right?

1:03:12 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:03:14 Adam Women love a guy who just does a little bit of brooding on a date and not freaking them out with that. Are you okay? What do you need here? Right? I hope you like me because I like you. You will be nervous and you'll talk yourself right out of this date. You understand, Josh?

1:03:30 Drew Women are looking for what's called emotionally significant conversation.

1:03:34 Adam Right.

1:03:34 Drew That's what they want.

1:03:36 Adam Now, don't overthink it. Just here, I'm going to give you a maximum of 23 syllables every 10 minutes. Does that work, Drew?

1:03:47 Drew Sure.

1:03:48 Adam Just ask around and don't get into this stuff like, I thought we'd want to go here, but I don't know if you like Thai food, but I like Thai food and I like that. Don't get into all that. Okay?

1:03:59 Drew Good times, Josh.

1:04:00 Adam Just ask around and be very calm about it.

1:04:03 Caller All right, one small thing like that.

1:04:04 Adam All right. The more nervous you are, the less you should talk.

1:04:07 Drew Yeah. Ironically, he launched immediately into some more talking as soon as he gave him the big lecture. Lance, 23. Lance?

1:04:16 Caller Yes.

1:04:16 Drew Hey, what's going on there?

1:04:17 Caller Hey there. How are you guys doing? Good. I'm calling about the guy you had on talking about internet porn addiction. Right. I'm a minister and I've worked with a lot of people who are dealing with that. It seems to be the big issue nowadays. Right. And I've got a couple tips that we usually give people who are... This isn't really for people who are... This is a symptom of something bigger for them, but people have just stumbled on to this and are dealing with it. So I've got a couple tips for you. Alright. Number one, most effective thing I've found is accountability. Find another man that you can trust, not your boss or not your wife or anything like that, but another man that you can convide in and be able to discuss this, and this person will be able to talk to you week by week and see how you're doing with this.

1:05:04 Drew We call that a sponsor.

1:05:05 Caller Yeah. In short circles, I guess we just call it accountability.

1:05:09 Drew Right.

1:05:09 Adam So you find a guy and you know this guy is going to ask you, hey, did you get on the internet and look up any porn today? And you're going to have to truthfully answer him.

1:05:18 Drew Well, I mean, the basic scientific structure for this is to first realize you can't do it by yourself, you're powerless, and to realize that the way humans' emotional worlds change...

1:05:28 Adam You can check off by yourself, Drew, that's the whole point.

1:05:30 Drew The way human emotional worlds change is by connecting with other people and that an intimate connection with another person really allows you to start to dig into your feelings about this and to talk about your shame and guilt and those feelings that fuel this even more.

1:05:42 Adam Lance, wouldn't you also suggest just beating yourself off before you even boot up the computer? I mean, wouldn't that erase some motivation?

1:05:49 Drew Not everyone has that kind of discipline, Adam.

1:05:51 Adam Oh, that's right. Well, I guess not.

1:05:54 Drew What's the other tip, Lance?

1:05:55 Caller And another thing is moving the computer out of the back room or back office, putting in the family room where your wife can walk in or your children will be around.

1:06:06 Adam Yeah, that's good.

1:06:07 Drew A real addict will...

1:06:10 Adam Try to squeeze one off while the wife and kids are in the kitchen?

1:06:12 Drew Will expose the children, yeah.

1:06:14 Adam No.

1:06:14 Drew Yes, a true addict will.

1:06:15 Adam All right, but a lot of these guys are not even family guys. They're just kind of living in their own bachelor pad and rolling in their own filth every night. What should they do then? Like put it out? Put it on the curb?

1:06:30 Caller Hey, I think in that situation, I mean, not getting quite the same consequences. When we're talking with people or suffering with this, it's usually...

1:06:37 Adam Now, what do you tell the wife when you decide to move the computer out of the den and into the family room?

1:06:43 Caller You better make up a good excuse because wives are usually not all that...

1:06:46 Adam Right.

1:06:47 Caller I don't think they're really going to go for this sort of situation.

1:06:49 Adam Right. Is that it? Is there one more?

1:06:52 Caller One more, and this is more of a last-ditch sort of thing, and that's... there's a lot of services that do password protection. You know, they sort of censor off parts of the Internet. And a couple people... and this is usually with... I was working at a Bible college where we had a lot of guys who were into this sort of thing, and just putting the password protection, getting somebody else to do the password, and just sort of reinforces the accountability where, you know, the only way you're going to be able to get into this is, you know, breaking down and, you know, telling the person who put the password in to help you out in that situation.

1:07:23 Adam You guys got a football team at the Bible college or?

1:07:26 Caller Not the one I went to.

1:07:27 Adam Oh, okay.

1:07:28 Drew How come they don't have, do you have 12-step programs where you are?

1:07:31 Caller Yeah, we have a number of things. I'm certified in this one program called the Axe program, which is based on sort of an AA. It's more of like a religious, a religiously based AA program.

1:07:42 Adam All right. Lance, I'm an atheist, so we're archrivals, me and Lance, but I agree with all these things. And I know, Drew, this is not a substitute for a guy who's gone over the edge with this stuff. But I also am a strong believer in moderation.

1:08:02 Drew Behavioral management.

1:08:03 Adam Behavioral management, thank you. And that not everyone who believes they're an anic is an anic or maybe they're not there yet. And this is a way to head it off in the past.

1:08:13 Drew Every true anic goes through long periods in their life where they can control these things. But once that real switch has been thrown, though, they can no longer control it. And that's when they got to see me.

1:08:24 Adam Well, Drew, is a guy, you personally or just anybody who deals with addiction? When my switch is on? You like, okay, let me give you an example. You like food, right? And if you had a candy machine in your hallway, you'd stop by and grab a Snickers bar every time you walk past.

1:08:43 Drew No, that's absolutely true.

1:08:44 Adam Would be a bad idea for you to put that in there, right?

1:08:48 Drew That's right.

1:08:48 Adam All right. We're gonna take a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to nobody necessarily.

1:08:54 All right, you got one?

1:08:56 Adam We'll speak to Jessica, her husband's returning from basic training. Adam wants to tell him she has a boyfriend. This is her husband?

1:09:03 Yeah.

1:09:04 Adam Oh, that's bad times, because it means he's shipping out, right? She's shipping in a new sailor. All right, we'll take a break. We'll get back with Jessica after this.

1:09:13 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Loveline will be right back.

1:09:20 Adam Hey, Loveline, everybody. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. When we left off, we were talking about, talking to Jessica, who's 19, and her husband's returning from basic training, and she found herself a boyfriend. Jessica? Hi. Hey.

1:09:41 Drew What?

1:09:42 Adam Is your husband in the Army?

1:09:44 Caller Yeah.

1:09:44 Adam And you're calling from Utah.

1:09:47 Caller I am.

1:09:48 Adam Where is he with his basic training?

1:09:51 Caller He is on his way back tonight from Fort Sill, Oklahoma.

1:09:55 Drew How long has he been there?

1:09:57 Caller He's only been there a month. He's actually getting discharged.

1:10:00 Caller Why?

1:10:02 Adam Why are they discharging him?

1:10:04 Caller I don't know. He said he wasn't going to tell me until he got home. I don't know.

1:10:09 Drew And you've been married how long?

1:10:12 Caller About a year and a half.

1:10:13 Drew Since you were like 17?

1:10:15 Caller I was 18.

1:10:16 Adam How old is he?

1:10:18 Caller He is 21.

1:10:19 Drew And how long has this affair been going on?

1:10:22 Caller For about six months.

1:10:24 Adam So it was going on for five months before he shipped out or for Oklahoma.

1:10:29 Caller Yeah.

1:10:29 Adam And who's it with?

1:10:31 Caller His best friend's brother.

1:10:34 Adam You stinking whore! Good times. And you're not worried about that getting right on back to him?

1:10:40 Caller He knows.

1:10:42 Drew He knows?

1:10:43 Caller He knew that we had been seeing each other, but he doesn't know that we're still seeing each other.

1:10:50 Adam Now did he catch you?

1:10:51 Caller Yeah.

1:10:52 Adam And then you swore up and down you weren't going to do it anymore?

1:10:55 Caller Yeah.

1:10:56 Adam And you're doing it? Yeah. And do you guys have any kids?

1:10:59 Caller Yeah, we have one.

1:11:00 Drew Oh my god.

1:11:03 Adam And you can't just put it in a bassinet and throw it down the Nile?

1:11:09 Caller Oh no, I don't want to.

1:11:11 Adam No, you don't want to. Okay, so listen, you want to get a divorce, right?

1:11:14 Caller I do.

1:11:15 Adam Okay, that's fine.

1:11:17 Caller He's abusive.

1:11:17 Adam He's abusive?

1:11:18 Caller He is, and I'm not happy.

1:11:20 Adam Okay, and you made a mistake, right?

1:11:23 Caller Yeah.

1:11:24 Adam Okay, and are you in love with this new guy?

1:11:27 Caller Um, I don't know. No, I don't.

1:11:30 Drew This is just her bullpen.

1:11:32 Adam Yeah.

1:11:32 Drew It's something to finish the game.

1:11:33 Adam Why are you carrying on with this? Because you're insecure and you need attention?

1:11:37 Drew She has a reason to break up too. Right.

1:11:41 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:11:42 Drew Jessica, get out of there.

1:11:42 Adam Now, aren't you a little nervous that this guy has just been basically getting combat training for the last month, is coming back and you're going to drop this bombshell on him?

1:11:53 Caller I am.

1:11:53 Adam And he's already abusive?

1:11:55 Caller Yeah. I don't know how to go about doing that.

1:11:57 Adam Well, when's he going to return?

1:11:59 Caller Um, he will, I'm picking up him up from the airport tomorrow.

1:12:02 Adam Oh, my God. That is going to be so uncomfortable.

1:12:05 Drew Do not let this child witness anything go down.

1:12:08 Caller Oh, no, I don't want to.

1:12:10 Drew Yeah, I know you don't want to. Don't let it happen.

1:12:12 Caller I don't, I won't.

1:12:14 Caller No.

1:12:15 Adam Who's watching the kid while you pick him up from the airport?

1:12:18 Caller Uh, his best friend's mother.

1:12:23 Adam Okay, listen, I'm going to work out, I'm going to get you on like a little five-year plan, okay, here? All right, first thing's first, this guy, you all right, baby? Yeah. This, this guy who you've already described as abusive physically, who's been tossed out of the army for God knows what, is, is going to hear about you screwing around with his best friend's brother and may freak on you.

1:12:48 Caller Yeah.

1:12:49 Adam So I don't know if it's the world's greatest idea to pick him up from the airport and tell him about this.

1:12:53 Drew Well, maybe in public place and talk about it.

1:12:56 Adam Can you guys go to like the 50-yard line of the Rose Bowl during the UCLA-USC game?

1:13:03 Drew Go to the Tabernacle. Go to the Tabernacle. They're in Salt Lake.

1:13:06 Adam Yes.

1:13:06 Drew Go, go into the church itself and then tell him.

1:13:09 Adam Okay. Do not have him on his eighth bud tall boy and then explain to him in the confines of your trailer that you've been blowing his buddy's brother. You understand? He may spin out and hurt himself, hurt you, and maybe hurt the child. Now, the other thing is, is what are you going to do? Live with this guy for a while until you find a new place?

1:13:32 Caller No. My husband, well, he's not staying here after, his name's not on the lease and he knows that he's not staying here.

1:13:40 Adam I really even question you picking him up from the airport. I mean, you know what I mean? Are you going to tell him when you pick him up?

1:13:49 Caller I'd like to. I don't want to keep it from him.

1:13:51 Adam Well, if he's not staying there, can you send him to wherever he's staying before you tell him?

1:13:56 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:13:57 Adam Where's he staying?

1:13:58 Caller Provo.

1:13:59 Adam Provo. All right. Send him to Provo and then tell him because he may spin out. And look, you, my dear, you cannot have a kid for another eight years. Do you hear me, screwball?

1:14:10 Caller I don't want one for another eight years.

1:14:12 Adam Yeah, but you got to work at it a little bit. You got to get on some birth control. Do you hear me?

1:14:18 Caller I am.

1:14:18 Adam All right. And you don't, you spend, you spend 24 hours a day trying not to screw up this kid of yours. All right?

1:14:24 Caller Yeah.

1:14:25 Adam All right, good. All right, you made a mistake. Get out.

1:14:28 Drew All right, that's good.

1:14:30 Oh, man.

1:14:33 Adam I would kill myself as Jessica. Dustin, could you imagine?

1:14:37 Caller I'm here.

1:14:38 Adam You're 23.

1:14:39 Caller Right.

1:14:40 Adam What's up?

1:14:41 Caller I had a question about, I had a penis problem.

1:14:45 Adam You come to the right place, my friend.

1:14:47 Drew You come to the right place.

1:14:49 Caller Oh, and Drew, the Taco Bell thing.

1:14:55 Drew Yeah.

1:14:55 Caller Taking the girl out to Taco Bell. I mean, any place but Taco Bell.

1:15:00 Caller But it didn't back to my problem.

1:15:04 Caller I've had it for, gosh, since I was about 16. It's sometimes when I pee, it's almost like gallstones. It hurts real bad.

1:15:15 Caller And they're almost like little rocks.

1:15:18 Drew Yeah, maybe you're passing stones.

1:15:20 Caller Is that all it is?

1:15:21 Caller Because, you know, I always wonder.

1:15:23 Caller I mean, I do drink sometimes.

1:15:25 Drew You need to get that checked out, whether they're kidney stones, or platystones, or prostate. There are all kinds of things.

1:15:30 Adam Well, how do you know? Hold on. Have you ever fished any of them out of the drink?

1:15:35 Caller No.

1:15:36 Adam Well, how do you know?

1:15:38 Caller What do you mean?

1:15:38 Drew That they're stones.

1:15:40 Caller Well, actually, sometimes if you squeeze the tip, you know, and you put a little on your finger, it comes out a little bit chalky sometimes. Like if you let it dry there.

1:15:50 Adam A little sandy, but that wouldn't really be like stones.

1:15:53 Drew He's saying if you let it dry, it's sort of powdery.

1:15:57 Adam What do you do? Just walk around with a d*** of urine on your finger until the sun dries it?

1:16:03 Drew Yeah, Dustin.

1:16:03 Caller What you do is you put it in front of a fan.

1:16:05 Adam I see.

1:16:06 Drew Dustin, that's just, that's prostatic secretions. That's not urine then. Your prostate is putting stuff out that lubricates your urethra all the time. That stuff can look a little powdery when it dries out.

1:16:15 Adam Okay, so what should he do?

1:16:17 Drew Nothing. Well, go see someone about these stones. Find out whether or not you have stones or not. Because it's important to know kidney stones can block your kidneys from draining and cause kidney failure.

1:16:27 Adam All right. And he's a urologist, right?

1:16:30 Drew A regular doctor can start this one out.

1:16:32 Adam Okay. Sean?

1:16:33 Caller Yeah, I'm here.

1:16:34 Adam All right, Sean. You're 24.

1:16:36 Caller Yeah, I got a question for Drew concerning the difference in the effects of marijuana versus smoking tobacco.

1:16:46 Caller Okay.

1:16:48 Caller Versus, like, definitely in the carcinogenic area.

1:16:52 Drew Definitely tobacco worse.

1:16:54 Caller Well, is THC carcinogenic?

1:16:56 Drew No, not per se.

1:16:58 Caller Okay. What about any other effects that might be possible long term?

1:17:06 Drew The main thing that pretty much everyone gets if you smoke pot long enough is chronic bronchitis. So you get kind of an emphysema-like syndrome.

1:17:13 Caller Gee, that's lovely.

1:17:14 Drew But whether or not it causes heart disease, it's thought it might, but it's not been proven, does not appear to cause cancers.

1:17:21 Caller Okay.

1:17:21 Drew And the big effects are brain effects. That's what people are concerned about.

1:17:25 Adam How much weed do you smoke?

1:17:26 Caller Not a whole lot in a given week. Probably between a gram and four, depending on who I'm with.

1:17:36 Adam Hold on. I don't even know what a gram is. Isn't it an ounce?

1:17:39 Caller About a nickel.

1:17:40 Adam A nickel?

1:17:41 Caller Yeah.

1:17:41 Adam You smoke five bucks worth of weed a week?

1:17:44 Caller Yeah, about that sometimes.

1:17:46 Adam That's nothing. You're fine. You lived to a hundred.

1:17:49 Caller I also still wanted to make another comment about the whole hacky sack thing.

1:17:53 Adam Right.

1:17:53 Caller Not just limited to the Southwest, there are hesshers all over the country playing.

1:17:57 Adam Oh, really? It's spread? Okay, you're in Illinois and it's spread out there, huh?

1:18:02 Caller Yeah, at the university here, all over.

1:18:05 Adam Right.

1:18:06 Caller Okay.

1:18:06 Adam It's like, it's really, hacky sack is mumbling for your feet. It lets your feet mumble. It's not quite exercise, it's just a little movement. All right, and Drew, as you know, if you listen to the radio or pass into those billboards, 400,000 Americans died from a cigarette smoke last year, you know.

1:18:28 Drew Secondhand smoke.

1:18:29 Adam No, 50,000.

1:18:30 Drew I see.

1:18:31 Adam Or 50, 55, 56, 56,000.

1:18:34 Drew Well, 400,000 died of cigarettes and 4 million must have died of secondhand smoke.

1:18:38 Adam Well, here's the deal, the people who died in the World Trade Center.

1:18:41 Drew Yeah.

1:18:42 Adam The 5,000 there speculating.

1:18:44 Drew They would have died anyway.

1:18:44 Adam Put a zero behind that. Those are all the people who died of secondhand smoke every year. Yes, according to the folks who make that data fit for whatever particular cause they're trying to make it fit for. And again, Drew, real quick, as a doctor, ever treat anyone for secondhand smoke?

1:19:02 Drew No.

1:19:03 Adam Do you have friends that have treated people for secondhand smoke in the medical community?

1:19:06 Drew No.

1:19:07 Adam Ever meet anyone in a hospital for secondhand smoke?

1:19:09 Drew No.

1:19:10 Adam What about when you're just making your rounds? You ever see anyone there with a secondhand smoke on their chart? No. No. It's nonsense. Thank you. Tommy.

1:19:19 Caller Oh, hey.

1:19:20 Caller How's it going, guys?

1:19:20 Caller Good.

1:19:22 Caller Yeah.

1:19:23 Caller So I'm 20 years old and my sex drive's pretty much gone. Like I don't really think about or care about sex like at all. Really hasn't been that bad, but it's starting to like affect relationships with girls that I'd like to get to know better.

1:19:36 Drew Are you on a medication?

1:19:37 Caller No.

1:19:39 Drew Do you have any medical problems?

1:19:40 Caller No.

1:19:41 Drew Have you been depressed?

1:19:43 Caller That's the first question everyone asks, but like no, I'm not depressed. I'm pretty happy.

1:19:48 Drew Have you had a medical evaluation to see what's going on with this?

1:19:51 Caller I went and got my testosterone levels checked and my thyroid checked, and they were both normal.

1:19:56 Drew I want to check prolactin too, sometimes prolactin tumors.

1:19:59 Caller Prolactin?

1:20:00 Drew Yeah. There's a great book about a guy who got a prolactin screening tumor whose sex drive shut off.

1:20:07 Adam Drew says he has it in his car, but he doesn't.

1:20:09 Caller No.

1:20:10 Adam Hey, Tommy.

1:20:11 Caller Yeah.

1:20:11 Adam You into women? Maybe you like the guys.

1:20:14 Caller No, no, no.

1:20:14 Caller I'm pretty sure I like girls because whenever I have, I bet it's been the girls.

1:20:19 Adam What if you saw some gay porn?

1:20:21 Caller I don't think that would really do anything for me.

1:20:23 Drew Yes.

1:20:24 Adam Would you projectile?

1:20:26 Caller I like to hang out in locker rooms sometimes, and I've seen plenty of naked guys, and I never am like thinking down.

1:20:31 Drew Wow. You just sound confused, Tommy, and I don't know if it's because you shut off sexually, that it's all sort of a flat playing field. It's all nothing to him? You know what I mean? Can you imagine a 20 going, Yeah, I'm 20. I think I'm into girls.

1:20:44 Adam Hold on a second. I got to put Tommy on hold because-

1:20:46 Drew You're going to fart.

1:20:47 Adam No. He talks every time one of us start talking. He's silent, but just in the wrong period. All right. So go ahead.

1:20:54 Caller What were you saying there?

1:20:55 Drew I wonder if he's just so biologically shut down that it's all just sort of nothing to him. Guys, girls, all sort of, I guess I'm into girls. I should be. Imagine saying that at 20.

1:21:06 Adam No.

1:21:06 Drew No. Yeah.

1:21:07 Adam I would not say that at 20, Tommy.

1:21:09 Caller Yeah.

1:21:10 Adam Do you have a girlfriend?

1:21:12 Caller I haven't had a girlfriend for a year. I've been with girls since then, but it's kind of, it fizzles out. A lot of times, like, I mean, I think probably a reason is it's cause like, you know, like, I don't know, it's pretty, it's pretty hard for me to get her out. It's like I could be, you know.

1:21:28 Adam When's the last time you beat off?

1:21:31 Caller I actually beat off last night.

1:21:33 Drew And was that the first time in a long time or?

1:21:35 Caller No, I probably do it about four times a week, three times a week.

1:21:41 Adam What do you think about? Who do you think about, me or Drew?

1:21:43 Caller No, I think, I think about girls. I think about, you know, I mean, I don't think about necessarily like having sex with girls. I think about girls though. I think about like, you know, sexy things about girls.

1:21:55 Drew What does that mean?

1:21:56 Caller Well, like, you know, like TNA, I guess.

1:21:59 Adam All right. And what do you do? You're a college student?

1:22:01 Caller Yeah, I'm a student on the server.

1:22:03 Drew And you're healthy emotionally otherwise? No, no trauma history?

1:22:05 Caller I feel like it. I don't. I feel, yeah.

1:22:08 Adam Let me, all right, let me, let me float. Okay, down. Let me float this theory, Drew.

1:22:13 Drew By the way, sex drive has not been really decreasing. He's masturbating five times a week. What's he talking about?

1:22:18 Adam Well, let me say this. There's certain guys that just got a little, little higher RPM motor in them, like Drew. Drew's a passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate man. And it's sort of like a food that you love and you cannot fathom other people not enjoying it when you're a huge fan. I love macadamia nuts. And whenever I hear my two partners, Jimmy and Daniel, say they hate them, I go insane because I love them so much. I can't imagine I'm angry at them. And if I was a doctor, I'd say there's something wrong with you. You should get checked up. I'd give them the crash cart and the paddles, right?

1:23:01 Drew But some guys have a low energy.

1:23:02 Adam But Tommy sounds...

1:23:04 Drew Yeah, just low energy.

1:23:06 Adam Yeah, not that he's gay, but that he's maybe floating a little somewhere, closer to heterosexual, but just from the cadence of his voice and the tone of his voice and everything, it sounds like maybe women aren't a big priority.

1:23:20 Caller He's bisexual.

1:23:21 Adam And I just wonder if this is sort of his natural sexual cadence. Now, maybe that may be even low for him right now.

1:23:30 Drew Right.

1:23:30 Adam But it didn't seem like he's going to be a world class coxman even when he does fire on all cylinders.

1:23:37 Drew I agree with you.

1:23:37 Adam All right, we'll take it. I mean, it's not like Drew is a passionate, passionate, passionate man. Drew is, I mean, you people are listening, think I'm kidding. Drew is a passionate man.

1:23:50 Okay.

1:23:51 Adam We'll be back after this. Oh, yeah. Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Drew over there. I'd give the phone number out, but we got enough of your calls. So we'll hop on the phones and see if we can't help some kiddies. Gary?

1:24:20 Yeah.

1:24:21 Adam You're 18. Yeah. Your 14-year-old neighbor wants her, wants you to take her virginity?

1:24:29 Caller Yeah. And I don't know what to do about it.

1:24:34 Drew Don't do that.

1:24:36 Caller Huh?

1:24:36 Drew Don't do that.

1:24:37 Caller Don't do it?

1:24:38 Drew Don't do it. This is a disturbed young person and you are sort of perpetrating, participating with her in her traumas. And it's illegal.

1:24:48 Caller Yeah. I know that.

1:24:50 Adam Are you, are you her boy? You ever date her or anything?

1:24:54 Caller Uh, no. She just moved in like a month ago.

1:24:58 Drew It's a disturbed person, Gary. I'm telling you.

1:25:00 Adam Well, maybe she has a crush on him. Does she like you?

1:25:04 Caller Yeah.

1:25:04 Caller She said she liked me.

1:25:07 Adam What do you think of her?

1:25:08 Caller I like her, too.

1:25:10 Drew Adam, a 14 year old, take my virginity, please. Please. It's not, it's not okay.

1:25:14 Adam No, I know. But, you know, they're neighbors and.

1:25:17 Drew Oh, no. They're Bakersfield. Think about it.

1:25:21 Adam Oh, my God. You're calling from Bakersfield?

1:25:23 Caller Yeah.

1:25:24 Adam You got to get out of that town. She moved into Bakersfield?

1:25:28 Caller No, she grew up here. No. Yeah. See what I'm saying?

1:25:32 Adam She's got serious problems.

1:25:33 Caller All right.

1:25:34 Adam I'll tell you what, Gary, you can take her virginity, but you can't enter the house. You have to do it through the mail slot. Do you guys have doors there?

1:25:43 Caller Yeah.

1:25:44 Adam I just picture like a screen door flapping in the wind, a hound dog waiting to die out on the porch, a tumbleweed blowing by. Gary, what are you doing? You're 18? You going to school or?

1:25:56 Caller I graduated.

1:25:57 Adam And?

1:25:59 Caller I'm looking for a job.

1:26:01 Adam Why don't you join the military?

1:26:03 Caller Yeah, that's what I'm going to probably do.

1:26:05 Adam Do it.

1:26:06 Get on your knees, scumbag.

1:26:08 Adam Yeah, you get yourself a nice skill, right?

1:26:10 Caller Yeah.

1:26:11 Adam All right. All right. She's a screwy girl. You're going to get involved with her. There's going to be trouble. And as Drew says, it's illegal. So don't do it. Okay?

1:26:22 Caller All right.

1:26:23 Adam Just join the military. All right? Please.

1:26:25 Caller All right.

1:26:25 Adam All right. Let's talk to John, who's 31. John? What's up?

1:26:31 Caller First of all, don't join the military. Well, I went, I had sex with this girl.

1:26:38 Adam Hold on. Don't join the military? No. No.

1:26:41 Drew Okay.

1:26:41 Adam John, such a jackass.

1:26:44 Drew He really is a fishist.

1:26:46 Adam He just used the F word, so we had to put him on hold. Don't worry, John. We'll get back to you, though, buddy. Josh? Josh? Yeah. You're 20. What's up?

1:26:59 Caller Yeah, I'm in this relationship with this girl for like 10 months now. And I went on a date with another girl like a week ago.

1:27:08 Adam Right.

1:27:09 Caller We originally like, we lived three hours apart. I care for her a lot.

1:27:15 Adam The girl you've been dating for 10 months?

1:27:17 Caller Right. I care for her a lot.

1:27:19 Adam Right. Who lives three hours apart?

1:27:21 Caller Me and her.

1:27:22 Adam Okay. All right.

1:27:24 Caller But this girl that I went on this date with, she's fantastic. I just thought maybe you guys could offer some advice on...

1:27:33 Drew Why do you live so far apart from your other friend?

1:27:35 Caller I moved away.

1:27:37 Adam Okay. Is this one fantastic looking or it's her personality or what is it?

1:27:42 Caller Oh, it's everything.

1:27:44 Adam How did you work the date out? How did that come about?

1:27:49 Caller She asked me, actually, which is another great thing.

1:27:52 Adam Really? All right. So it doesn't sound like you're too committed to this 10-month-er. And you found somebody else.

1:27:59 Drew You got to wrap up the old relationship. You're not living together any longer. It's run its course. It's time.

1:28:06 Adam But here's the deal. Don't bring up the new person.

1:28:08 Drew No. That actually was sort of trans-aggression. You know, it's not a good thing.

1:28:12 Adam You give her that. I need time to clear my head. This isn't my famous line I've used on the ladies is, it isn't you. It's me. I don't like you. It brings it back to them, but for a moment, it's a nice distraction.

1:28:27 Drew It's a distraction, but they have to think about it.

1:28:29 Adam They have to process it.

1:28:30 Drew In the meantime, you're running.

1:28:34 Adam Yeah, give her that hole. It's not you. It's me.

1:28:37 Drew I've lost my feelings for you.

1:28:39 Adam Throw in the ironic, you're too good for me. I don't deserve you. I like that one, too. Does that apply to anything in life? Close your eyes. You worried about driving a car that's too nice for you? You were about living in a house that's too good for you or a job that pays too much?

1:28:54 Drew What's your motivation?

1:28:56 Adam Your motivation, you want out. But give her a nice thing and don't tell her about these other guys or other girls. Pardon me. Sarah, go ahead.

1:29:03 Caller Hi, how are you guys doing?

1:29:04 Adam Good. What's up?

1:29:05 Caller Not much. First, really quick, kind of off the subject. Dr. Drew, are you still doing Mars Venus? Because I don't get to watch daytime TV.

1:29:13 Drew No, I'm not. That actually went out of production quite some time ago.

1:29:16 Caller Well, I haven't watched daytime TV in like eight months because I work all the time.

1:29:21 Drew But, I've been in cities out prior to last week, and boy, there it was. It's still syndicated around here and there, so it's around.

1:29:29 Adam It was a great show. He's a passionate, passionate man. Go ahead, Sarah.

1:29:35 Caller Okay, so my question is, my dad started taking Zyban, to quit smoking. And the thing is, he started acting a little strange. Seemed like your regular symptoms of depression. You know, you've seen those commercials. You know, nothing matters to you anymore and all that stuff.

1:29:52 Drew Oh, interesting.

1:29:53 Caller So it was, you know, I told him, I said, sounds like he's starting to suffer from depression. So he told me that he stopped taking his Zyban just about three days ago because he feels like it's messing him all up inside. So I was wondering if somebody who's not depressed, because Zyban is an antidepressant, if somebody who is not depressed, taking an antidepressant, if that can have this trigger effect where it can actually throw you into depression.

1:30:16 Drew No, it really should not do that.

1:30:17 Caller I talk to another girl that I work with.

1:30:19 Drew It can make you uncomfortable, it can make you anxious, and give you other kinds of symptoms that may ultimately affect your mood, but not specifically cause depression. There was a hearing panic attacks, anxiety, that some people react to anxiety with becoming depressed. But it sounds more like he had side effects from the Zyban, stopped using it, and he's depressed because he's no longer smoking. But there is a big depression that can occur when you come off nicotine sometimes.

1:30:46 Adam Good times. Tim?

1:30:47 Caller Yeah. Hey, Adam Drew.

1:30:49 Adam Hey, I'm 35. You got cockroaches?

1:30:51 Caller Dude, all over the apartment.

1:30:53 Caller And my landlords will not let me allow to bug bomb.

1:30:56 Caller Really? Yeah. They said they would stick me if I use a bug bomb.

1:31:00 Adam Yeah. Listen, Nimrod, you don't tell your landlord you're going to pull off one of those Foddy Foggers. You do it.

1:31:09 Caller I tried to and they come by every day. It's a big complex here in Arcadia.

1:31:14 Drew Fogger check?

1:31:15 Caller Pardon?

1:31:16 Adam Yeah. Okay. But listen, here's the problem with roaches when you're in an apartment. They go between apartment to apartment. Yeah.

1:31:23 Caller My neighbors, I think, are growing them.

1:31:25 Drew Call Arcadia Public Health.

1:31:27 Caller Really?

1:31:28 Adam Yeah. Because your landlord should have to take care of this problem.

1:31:32 Caller Whatever.

1:31:34 Adam Okay. Okay.

1:31:34 Caller Thanks, man.

1:31:35 Adam All right. All right. I don't know what to do with roaches. I've lived in a lot of dumps in my day. I've never had any problems with roaches. And thank God, because I go nuts. I cannot stand roaches. I don't know what's wrong with them. I mean, I don't know why I'm so frightened of them. No one's ever been attacked by a roach or been bitten by a roach or been infected by a roach. But there's something. And they stay in the kitchen for the most part.

1:32:00 Drew It's gross.

1:32:01 Adam But there's just something. They just spell filth.

1:32:03 Drew Yeah.

1:32:04 Adam All right. I'm going to shower now because I feel one in my underpants. Oh, wait a minute. It's my penis.

1:32:09 Caller We'll take a break.

1:32:13 Adam There you go. Another fantabulous evening.

1:32:17 Drew Escaped without a lightning round.

1:32:19 Adam Put to bed.

1:32:20 Drew Thankfully.

1:32:21 Adam Yeah. I think we may have to work the lightning round in tomorrow night. And I'll tell you why.

1:32:26 Caller Why?

1:32:28 Adam Because folks need to know what time it is and not only what time it actually is, but then the math, which is how far it would be from the other, you know, the top of the hour and the weather and the weather and the traffic. It's important to get that traffic rammed up your ass every five minutes when you listen to radio. Slow and go over to look out for brake lights. What does lookout for brake lights even mean? Now, wouldn't you? Don't you? Isn't the whole point of brake lights?

1:32:56 Drew Tomorrow, tonight we're leaving.

1:32:58 Adam Okay. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:33:03 Caller First of all, don't join the military.

1:33:07 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, September 18, 2001