Episode 1000754886916

1:00 Voiceover Content, content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:06 Go!

1:08 Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:10 Voiceover Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:12 Voiceover Hey, hey, hey, air kiddies, it's the Loveline of Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, let's check the time. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, go to the traffic. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, entertainment news. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, kill myself. I'll tell you, Drew, we talk about all the time. I know this is a matter that is near and dear to your own heart. But kids, those of you young folks listening, enjoy your sleep. When you watch those movies in Driver's Ed where they say a guy left Baton Rouge, Louisiana at the same time and headed for Key West, Florida, two cars identically prepared, and one car obeyed the speed limit and all the corresponding rules that go along with traffic. The other one drove recklessly, sped, and ran through red lights, and they both arrived at Key West at the same time. Total, utter nonsense.

2:21 Drew Ridiculous.

2:21 Adam I just, listen, I'll shave an hour off a 15-minute commute just by hauling ass.

2:26 Drew Yeah, yeah.

2:27 Adam Look, look, do the math, everybody. Do the math when you, when they tell you that driving fast doesn't get to you there any faster. Let's forget about driving. Let's apply that to running.

2:37 Drew Yeah.

2:38 Adam Running fast doesn't get, see, Crawling?

2:40 Drew Crawling gets you there faster. As fast.

2:42 Adam Bob jogged, averaging a 14-minute mile, whereas Curtis ran a five-minute mile and sprinted his ass off. Who completed the 26-mile course faster? Curtis kicked Bob's sorry ass. That's the way it goes. Now look, I don't want people getting in an accident, but let's face it, you haul ass, you get places a lot faster.

3:03 Drew Adam, just flip the logic around. One person goes 60 miles an hour and behaves, the other goes 20. Who gets there first?

3:09 Adam I don't know, Drew. Did the one who went 60 break any traffic laws? Because if he did, he didn't get there any faster. Or if he did, he got there faster, but with a heavy heart. Yeah, I feel bad every time I ignore one of those god-awful red arrows here in the Hill Hole known as Culver City. Yes. Listen, it's worth a ticket. I bring it on. I'm going to laugh when I get one. Still worth it. Cops have run a thousand of those god damn arrows here. So the one ticket means nothing. It's nothing to me. Bring it on. Bring it. Bring it to me. I'm still way ahead of the game and would never even dream of ignoring or not ignoring one of those arrows. Thank you. Jessica, I hope you all heard an important message here. Haul ass. You get places a lot faster. I just might have been completely across town in 13 minutes. And the only way I could have done that is by hauling ass. Thank you. What's up there, Jessica? 21.

4:08 Yes. Hey, how are you doing?

4:10 Adam Good.

4:10 Drew The reason Adam's got a little sort of wind behind him here is sort of he's been, he walked in three seconds before he went on the air.

4:17 Yeah.

4:18 Drew And only you're here at that moment only because of you.

4:21 Adam My hauled ass?

4:22 Drew Hauling ass, yeah.

4:23 Absolutely.

4:24 Adam Thank you. What's up?

4:26 Well, I have a question. My boyfriend and I, whenever we're having sex, doggie style where he's like behind me, I always feel like he's banging against something inside.

4:38 Drew Yeah, he is. You're uterus.

4:41 Okay. It's not painful, but it's not comfortable.

4:44 Adam Right. It could be the skull of your unborn baby.

4:49 Drew Well, yeah. Or the leftover twin or something.

4:52 Adam Right. Evil twin? No?

4:54 No.

4:56 Drew This is a common. Most women feel a little more discomfort with that position. If you have a retroverted uterus, it can really be uncomfortable or ovarian cyst or infection of the tubes. These things, the endometriosis make the discomfort even more so. But some women just find that feeling unpleasant.

5:11 Adam You say this is a friend of yours?

5:14 It's my boyfriend.

5:15 Adam All right.

5:16 Is there any way to make it more comfortable?

5:18 Drew Yeah. Change positions.

5:19 Okay. Just don't do that.

5:20 Adam Well, how about-

5:21 Drew Don't go in as well. There's a depth grommet.

5:23 Adam The grommet, the love grommet. A basically batting donut for the penis. I'm serious. I really- Try this. It doesn't have to be in a donut shape, but get a piece of three-quarter inch foam rubber. Yeah. Are you with me?

5:39 Drew I'm going three-quarter inch, yes.

5:40 Adam Let's start with three-quarter. Three-quarter. That's 40 percent.

5:44 Drew Oh, sorry. Sorry. Yes, I remember that.

5:45 Adam How dare you?

5:46 Drew I beg your pardon.

5:47 Adam Start with three-quarter if you want to double it up to an inch and a half, fine. I'm serious. I'd like you to do this and call back, Jessica.

5:53 Now, what is this?

5:55 Adam Just listen.

5:56 Drew Have you ever seen the batting donut?

5:57 Adam Hold on.

5:57 Drew Just quiet down. No.

5:58 Adam Quiet down. A chick knows what a batting donut is.

6:01 Drew That's what you said.

6:03 Adam I know. I'm now trying to explain this. That's all. Jessica?

6:07 Yes?

6:08 Adam Okay. Get yourself some three-quarter inch foam rubber.

6:11 Yes.

6:12 Adam All right. Not the real air-rated light stuff, but the foam rubber stuff, right?

6:17 All right.

6:17 Adam All right. Take a coffee mug. Set it down on top of this piece of foam rubber and trace a line around it with a magic marker.

6:25 Caller All right.

6:26 Adam Yeah, Drew? Are you with me?

6:27 Drew I'm there.

6:28 Adam And then cut that thing out. Make it a good-sized coffee mug. Okay. All right. Then cut that circle out. Then make an inner circle about the inch and a quarter, inch and a half around. That should do it, right?

6:40 Drew Again, you're using your own proportions.

6:42 Adam Making a donut. All right? Yeah. All right. I got it. All right. Then have your boyfriend slip that over his penis before he goes doggy style. That'll prevent a depth problem and get a little spring back. You know, as he bounces off the wall.

6:56 Drew Help his back, yeah.

6:57 Adam That's right. His arches.

6:59 His spring back.

7:00 Adam Yeah. And if it's still too deep, double it up. Do two of them. Basically what you're looking at is two pieces of canned pineapple. You know, when they come in the slab.

7:09 Right. All right. Thanks for the visual.

7:11 Adam Will you do that?

7:13 Yeah. Sure.

7:14 Adam Oh, sure. I'm serious. Make it up. Then he can go at it. Be kind of fun.

7:18 Yeah. I'll try it out.

7:19 Adam Yeah. All right.

7:21 Okay. Thanks.

7:22 Adam All right. Good times. She's never going to do it.

7:24 Drew No way.

7:25 Adam That's a good idea.

7:27 Drew I know it's a good idea. You need to start selling this.

7:30 Adam Oh, listen. Find an ounce of motivation. I'd be a wealthy, wealthy man right now. Roel? Yeah. You're 17? Yeah. You're a little depressed? No. Really?

7:41 Drew He's lit up.

7:43 Adam Are you stoned?

7:44 Drew No. I mean, he's excited. This is him lit.

7:47 Adam Top of the world. You win the lottery today?

7:51 Caller No. Okay.

7:52 Drew What's up, Roel?

7:53 Adam What's up?

7:55 My girlfriend is trying to do XX because she thinks she's fat or something.

7:58 Adam All right.

7:58 Drew Well, that's called bulimia when people take laxatives and have distorted body image.

8:03 Yeah.

8:03 She's trying to take them.

8:04 I don't know. She's weird.

8:07 Drew Okay. Well, that's a very serious problem, right?

8:09 Yeah.

8:10 Drew People die of this condition.

8:11 I told her that, but she doesn't believe me. I don't know what to tell her.

8:16 Drew How about telling her parents that she has a problem? Or telling a teacher at school or somebody that can leverage her into some help. I mean, you really don't have any power to get her help. Other than saying you're not willing to stay in the relationship if she continues down this path.

8:28 Adam Raul? How much does she weigh?

8:32 Caller Like 124.

8:33 Drew Nothing.

8:34 Adam So she's light.

8:35 Drew Yeah. The people with these eating disorders have massive levels of denial about what they're doing, and so it's very difficult to break through that. Somebody that has levers, somebody that has power in them has to require them to do something about this. You need someone professional to watch her.

8:48 Adam Does she have an older sister?

8:50 Caller Yeah. She's 23.

8:53 Adam Yeah. Do you ever talk to her?

8:55 No.

8:56 Adam No. You don't know her at all? No.

8:58 She just lives there.

9:00 Adam Who do you know that she knows and respects?

9:03 Drew Just an adult.

9:06 Adam No one. Okay. You got a counselor at school that you like?

9:11 Yeah.

9:12 Adam Somebody you can talk to?

9:13 Yeah.

9:14 Adam Why don't you go, even if it's not her counselor? Why don't you go? Because you know these guys, they have like A through G and then G through whatever. Did you have that in your school? You got that, right, Roel? You're a poor guy, right?

9:28 Drew Yeah.

9:28 Adam You got the counselor gets assigned you by your last name.

9:31 Drew I see.

9:31 Adam I got Mr. Tomy, that fairy. What a nightmare. Did nothing for me. Nothing. Kiss my ass, Tomy. Anyway, Roel, talk to that counselor that you like and see what you can do with that.

9:46 Drew This is not something you're going to be able to change. It takes a lot of work.

9:50 Adam How did you know who your counselor was?

9:52 Drew I have one.

9:53 Adam You didn't have a school? Did you get a counselor?

9:56 Drew You got to remember the whole school is 160 kids.

10:00 Adam Our counselor should have had their title change to a probation officer. There's not an ounce of counseling going on. I never had a conversation about college or SATs or career. I don't know if there's some kind of lost time. I'm wondering if-

10:18 Drew In the 70s, you mean?

10:19 Adam Well, yeah. It seems like in the 50s and maybe even into the middle, later part of the 60s or early middle part of the 60s, you went to school and someone pulled you in the office at a certain point and said, hey, what do you see yourself doing down the road? I mean, is it college or-

10:37 Drew Hey, but in the 70s, that was the man. Listen to the man.

10:42 Adam Yeah, they give you a test. They go, here, take this test and you take the test and go, you work with your hands. Maybe you could be an electrician or a plumber.

10:48 Drew When we went to college in high school, no one trusted the man. No one wanted to listen to the man. The man was like, out.

10:54 Adam Well, I was still into the early 80s, but the man was still never did make a comeback.

10:59 Drew No.

10:59 Adam Yeah, it's like, who are we to tell these 15-year-olds what they should be doing with their lives?

11:04 Drew That is the attitude that was then. And they were still living under some of that.

11:07 Adam Right. So it's like, all right, don't tell the teenagers what to do. Fast forward four years, me and Everlast, not from the popular band, not from House of Pain. Everlast, the dude.

11:21 Drew The murderer.

11:22 Adam Who's in jail for life right now. And no driver's license, by the way, driving out to Edwards Air Force Base to clean about 7 million square feet of carpet. Yeah. Not that I would have listened to their advice, by the way, but never had a conversation. I don't have a girlfriend and no one at school likes me.

11:45 Caller Hello.

11:46 Drew Hey, what's up?

11:46 Caller Hi. I'm 16 and I'm diabetic and I was just kind of wondering like what I should know about drinking and stuff.

11:53 Drew And like, how's your sugar control?

11:57 Caller It's OK. It's not great. But I mean, I really know what I'm doing.

11:59 Drew Like, how do you, how do you take your insulin?

12:02 Caller By insulin pump.

12:03 Drew You have a pump going all the time?

12:05 Yeah.

12:05 Drew How often do you check your sugars?

12:07 Caller Like five or six times a day.

12:08 OK.

12:08 Adam How's that pump going?

12:11 Caller I like it because it's more flexible and I can eat whenever I want and stuff.

12:15 Adam What do you basically just have a built-in jack in yourself for that pump?

12:19 Caller No, it's kind of like an IV except it like is in your stomach. It's just like, it's just like the fat in your stomach.

12:25 Drew It's a subcutaneous infusion.

12:28 Adam It's a jack, right?

12:29 Drew It's a pump, yeah, going in all the time.

12:30 Adam Well, is it in you?

12:31 Drew Yeah.

12:31 Adam Oh, it's buried in you. Don't hook yourself up.

12:34 Caller Like I change it every once in a while.

12:35 Drew The needle's in you though, right? Yeah. There's a needle in you. And then the unit's outside you.

12:41 Caller All right.

12:41 Adam My Jack reference.

12:42 Drew Yeah, I know.

12:43 Adam See, we always get confused because I make the mistake of asking pertinent questions on this show. No one knows what I'm talking about. You got, if I lifted your shirt up, I'd see a little Jack for lack of a better term to plug this thing into.

12:57 Caller Yeah.

12:58 Adam Okay.

12:58 Caller Basically.

12:59 Caller Right.

13:00 Drew Did she say Jack? She thinks a little guy named Jack's in there.

13:03 Adam A guy named Jack? Or you think of a scissor bottle Jack? Do I change the card? I don't know, kids know what Jack's are, right? They know like a Jack for the VCR?

13:11 Drew Stop. Anyway, so you've ever had DKA, that kind of thing, any complications?

13:17 Caller Only when I had the stomach flu.

13:19 Drew Okay. And you're having neuropathy, kidney problems, anything like that?

13:21 Caller No.

13:22 Drew Well, the alcohol is a pretty hefty dose of sugar. Okay. And it is going to set your insulin needs off in ways that may or not entirely predictable.

13:33 Caller That's kind of like what I'm worried about. Like I heard it can make you low or high.

13:36 Drew Yeah. It's very difficult to judge what it's going to do. And if you're intoxicated on top of that, you could easily pass out and fall into either an insulin shock or you could fall into DKA and no one would know it. And so it's a treacherous proposition for you. It really is.

13:51 Okay.

13:53 Drew You know, it's obviously more than the average person's risks.

13:56 Caller Right. I understand that.

13:57 Adam And she's got a fairly advanced diabetic or?

14:02 Drew She's a brittle diabetic. Well, not even brittle, she's a juvenile diabetic.

14:05 Caller Brittle.

14:06 Drew You're not brittle because you're-

14:07 Caller This is the control that I want.

14:09 Drew What's your range, your sugar range, normally?

14:11 Caller I mean, it ranges from like anything, but my average is like 170.

14:15 Drew 170. So that's pretty high. Although then again, you're growing-

14:19 Caller But that's me, that's because I eat too much.

14:21 Drew Yeah, I understand, but now you had alcohol to that and now you may flip into ketosis.

14:26 Adam Hey, Drusky.

14:27 Caller Yeah.

14:29 Adam Diabetic, so you hear about people have like a mild, is there like a mild, medium and extra strength version?

14:36 Drew There's, yeah, there's several different versions. Some people are really difficult to control. They just, they have insulin resistance and insulin deficiency.

14:44 Adam I know she did it out of convenience, but if you're hooking yourself up to the pump every day, that's an average. You got something going, don't you?

14:50 Drew That's an average.

14:50 Adam Average? There's a little more than we normally talk to. Busting out the pump?

14:56 Drew No, it's these days for a juvenile, I mean, the really messy ones are the ones that...

15:00 Adam Got the zert fitting hanging out of your belly button?

15:02 Drew No, the messy ones are the ones that age that are going to denial and don't want to have diabetes and stop their insulin going to decay every three weeks.

15:09 Adam I see. You think anyone knows what a zert fitting is?

15:11 Caller No, I don't know what that is.

15:13 Drew What is it? What is it?

15:16 Adam You know what I like about Drew, he's interested in stuff because, and you guys should all take a page out of Drew's book, he likes to learn. You idiots are only interested in what you're interested in and that's how you get stupid or how you stay stupid.

15:29 Drew They're interested in their own ass, whatever they're into at that moment.

15:32 Adam Right, but if they're into snowboard and tats, you're interested in talking, hearing about snowboards and tats, but you don't want to hear about anything else.

15:39 Drew I want to hear about a zert fitting.

15:40 Adam Then you get stupid. A zert fitting is that little fitting that's on like ball joints of cars and places. You know when they used to give you an oil change in lube job?

15:51 Drew Yeah.

15:51 Adam The lube, that's what they'd snap that lithium grease gun up to underneath your car and grease up those ball joints and those in there. They're pressurized. You've got to snap it in there and like force it, force the grease into it. That's how you get the grease into those tight spots.

16:07 Drew Under the car.

16:08 Adam Yeah, you'll see if you look at a bunch of like a rack and pinion steering column or something, you'll see a little nipple sticking. That's how they get the grease in a zert fitting.

16:17 Interesting.

16:20 Adam Who says I'm not in touch, Drew Bob?

16:25 Yes.

16:26 Adam You're 15?

16:27 Caller Yes.

16:27 Adam What's up?

16:28 Caller All right. My uncle, he's a gun collector and he was messing around with one of his guns today and it went off and hit his leg. He just like nicked it. But it's about like the width of the CD deep and about two inches long, maybe an inch wide. I was wondering, because he won't go to hospital, he's too stubborn. I was wondering.

16:53 Drew Really?

16:54 Adam Hold on. Let's go back and examine the width of the CD.

16:58 Drew Yeah. Is that the thickness of a CD?

17:03 Adam It's spherical, so they don't really have a front and a back.

17:07 Yeah.

17:07 Adam Or whiner.

17:09 What?

17:10 Adam But a CD case.

17:13 Caller No, CD. The CD.

17:15 Adam I see.

17:16 Drew They're probably what, six inches across? Four inches, five inches across?

17:20 Caller No, the thickness of it.

17:21 Drew You mean the thickness of it. So it's just barely, he's talking about a grazing flesh wound, I think.

17:29 Adam But a flesh wound, the depth, is that what he said?

17:34 Drew Of a CD.

17:36 Adam A CD is less than an eighth of an inch.

17:38 Drew Right. So it's just barely grazing.

17:42 Adam But this doesn't jive with the story about when he would go to the hospital.

17:45 Drew Right. That's what I'm...

17:47 Adam Bob?

17:48 Caller Yeah?

17:49 Drew If it just barely opened the skin, which you're describing, right?

17:54 Caller Yeah, but you can see the meat in his leg.

17:57 Drew That's what you think you're looking at? Yeah. So that to me wouldn't be less than an eighth of an inch deep. That would be maybe an inch deep.

18:05 Caller No, it's not nearly an inch.

18:09 Adam Well, what about the thickness of an eight track? That's about three quarters.

18:13 No, it's not.

18:16 Caller No, it's about the thickness of a CD, maybe.

18:19 Drew All right. Well, here's the deal.

18:20 Caller Whatever.

18:21 Adam Well, like a double CD, like Houses of the Holy?

18:27 Caller Maybe about one and a half. It's not deep at all.

18:32 Adam One and a half CDs.

18:32 Drew Well, the depth is really what's important here.

18:34 Adam By the way, CD, a standard unit of measurement that we've missed somehow or you couldn't just say an eighth of an inch. All right. Bob, I'm still a little unclear. It's deep. It's into a skin, not length or width, but it goes into him.

18:55 Drew The depth of a CD.

18:56 Caller Yeah.

18:58 Adam Okay. Hang on, Bob. Turn your TV down, please. Look, I don't know. Now, you tell me, see, if we were doing a lab type experiment, I would argue that people who have the TV on in the background are distracted and then unable to focus on a call. But then a smart person like yourself would come around and go, No, those people are too stupid to turn their goddamn TV down and have difficulty focusing anyway.

19:25 Drew Right.

19:26 Adam Bob over here makes a compelling argument for the latter.

19:29 Drew Yes, absolutely. There's no doubt in my mind. That's how that works.

19:33 Adam Bob, he really paints a vivid picture. I mean, the world is his canvas when he opens his mouth. And what a palette he has. He shot himself and it's the depth of what you could do with your fingernail. It's three thirty seconds deep is what it is. Do I got to measure CD? I'm telling you, it's under an eighth.

19:54 Drew Yeah, I know. All right. Here's the deal, Bob, clean it with peroxide. Keep it. If any redness or any streaking or any pus or anything else, then he's got to go to the hospital. As long as the leading is controlled. And by the way, if you have a digital camera, maybe we can get some email. Listen, I'd like, you know.

20:11 Adam Bob does not have a piece of bark and a charcoal stick to write with. Do you think he has a digital camera? He does have a CD, but no, Anderson makes a good point. He has a CD. I'm not so sure he has a CD. Do you know what I mean?

20:26 Drew He's seen them. They thought they were for units of measurement.

20:29 Adam Kelly?

20:31 Caller Oh, yeah.

20:32 Adam Yeah.

20:33 Caller Sorry, I was almost sleeping here.

20:35 Adam Sorry, baby. I try to do a compelling show, but I probably lost you at dessert fitting.

20:40 Caller Oh, no, I was listening. I'm just not a late. I get up.

20:44 Drew All right, go ahead.

20:46 Caller Okay. I'm 16 and I have a problem. I've got, well, I'm a woman, so I got a vagina and-

20:52 Adam Hold on, scratch pad.

20:53 Drew No, we're not, right, woman.

20:55 Adam Vagina.

20:56 Drew Okay, got it.

20:57 Adam I'm just going to write down the thing.

20:59 Caller Okay, I'm sorry. I've been having this recurring rash and it'll stay for about a month and it'll go away for a couple and then it'll come back.

21:08 Drew See, if we had a digital camera, really.

21:11 Adam Well, maybe, you'd be looking at underage vaginas, what we'd be doing if you had one.

21:16 You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

21:18 Drew Is it on the skin or is it on the pink part?

21:22 Caller It's on the skin and it goes all the way, it starts up at the top, around the pubic hair and then it just goes all the way down to right around the crack of my butt.

21:35 Drew It's just a red rash.

21:37 Caller Well, it's like bumps, almost like it looks like a razor burn, but it itches real bad and I don't shave down there and I'm a virgin.

21:43 Drew So it's bumps and itchy. Could you be allergic?

21:46 Adam A little extra for the picture for your virgin.

21:48 Drew Could you be having an allergic reaction to something?

21:51 Caller No, I don't know because I wear cotton underwear.

21:54 Drew People get allergic to the elastic around the leg and stuff. Fungus is another thing that can occur. We might just get some over-the-counter fungal cream and some Cort-Aid and see if that clears up.

22:04 Adam What about a sitz bath?

22:05 Drew Sitz baths are good too. Hot baths.

22:08 Caller Okay. I usually take those once in a while.

22:12 Drew This does not sound like anything you should be concerned with. It's skin like any other skin and anything that can happen to skin can happen down there. Allergies, fungus, many different expressions of internal problems, although you're not describing something that is typically associated with a medical condition.

22:26 Adam I get a bath about once every two and a half years.

22:30 Drew You do not.

22:30 Adam I do.

22:31 Drew You have not been in a bathtub since you were like four.

22:34 Adam I'd say about once every five years. I get in the bathtub and I always announce, oh this is great.

22:42 Drew Every night.

22:42 Adam Once a week. Once a week. Minimum. Minimum.

22:46 Drew You don't have a bathtub in your house, do you? Your house house.

22:50 Adam My house house, I have two bathtubs. But let me tell you, when you're 6'2 and 190 pounds is not a behemoth, but the 6'2 thing, that's a deal breaker for the tub.

23:04 Drew It's got to be a jacuzzi.

23:07 Adam Yeah. Yeah. You're too big for a tub. You can't enjoy that. All right. You know, people complain about being midgets, but sit next to, fly coach and sit next to these guys.

23:18 Drew You can fly coach.

23:19 Adam The lap of luxury. That's right.

23:21 Drew You know, women are the ones that like baths. They have all that sort of, women have a thing about germs. You know what I mean?

23:27 Adam Yeah, they do.

23:27 Drew Which makes sense. They're sort of there to protect the family from external predators like germs.

23:32 Caller Right.

23:33 Drew Cristina Farrer, who did that daytime show with, used to light her bathtub on fire. She would put spray alcohol all through it.

23:40 Adam Breaking wind?

23:41 Drew No, and would light it on fire to try to sterilize it.

23:44 Adam Really?

23:44 Drew Isn't that bizarre?

23:45 Adam Yeah, that's freaky. Yeah, speaking of germs, I was handling fish guts today. I'm going to tell you guys about that.

23:51 Drew Oh yeah, how's the refrigerator?

23:52 Adam Oh, good times. When we come back. Hey, everybody, I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Got up at 415 this morning. Yeah, went to bed at 130. Nice. Do that math there.

24:20 Drew That was after staying up all night at Las Vegas.

24:23 Adam That day or the day before. Yeah, can't be good for you. Yeah, me and the fridge were doing blowout on the lake about 6 a.m. Went fishing with the fridge, the William Perry, the refrigerator from the Bear's fame.

24:43 Drew The 80s, 1980s.

24:45 Adam Yeah, he was around. He played into the 90s.

24:48 Drew Really?

24:49 Adam Yeah, he probably played, he started in 85, I think. I think he probably played to 95. What's that? Five years? Line 5? Okay. What are we doing here, Drew? Radio. Yeah, I got stuff paying attention to Damian over there. This guy is a big guy. I know you guys know that, but I saw him on TV. But I got into the fridge's weight. The fridge was 390 when he left high school. He left high school.

25:24 Caller Wow.

25:25 Adam 390 and played college about 390. Then when he got to the Bears, actually trimmed it down to a pixie size.

25:35 Drew 360?

25:36 Adam No, it was, let's say, about 330. Whoa. Yeah. But those who just think the guy is a slob, dunks a basketball. Or I mean, could dunk a basketball when he played. Like those, you know, go just try to hang on a basket. But try to touch the rim. It takes a little work to get touched.

25:56 Drew I can't touch the net.

25:57 Adam Oh, you can, yeah. In your prime, you can touch the rim.

26:01 Drew Maybe.

26:02 Adam But dunking, that's something different. Yeah, I know. This dude's a 350-pound guy dunking a ball. There's this great footage of him just jumping up on the trainer's table from just standing underneath it, just standing in front of it, just hopping up on this four-foot table. Yeah, the guy was an athlete. Anyone who remembers him getting out of his stance in the Super Bowl and bowling into the end zone when they crushed the Patriots back in 85. Yeah, real nice guy. Huge, huge, his parts are so huge. Jason?

26:40 Yeah.

26:40 Adam You're 16?

26:41 Caller Yeah.

26:42 Adam What's up?

26:43 What's up?

26:44 Adam What's up?

26:44 Drew You called us, what's up? Oh, Jason.

26:47 Caller Oh, all right. Do I need to tell you guys a story all over again?

26:52 Adam Okay, hang on, Jason. Turn your radio down, Jason, and gather yourself.

27:00 Drew Yeah, I strangely don't want to talk to him.

27:02 Adam No, I don't want to talk to him either. But you can just hang on. Jason, just hang on for a while, that's all. Okay. Jose?

27:10 What's up?

27:11 Adam Hey, you're 16. What's going on there?

27:13 Caller Yeah, well, my girlfriend and I have been together for about three months, and it seems that, like, I tell my friends that I'm not getting anything out of it, but, like, I try to stay with her, but then again, it's like part of me wants to just go, like, to hell with her. I mean, I don't want her.

27:27 Drew Well, you're done. Listen, you don't sound like you're really like this person.

27:31 Caller Yeah.

27:31 Drew All right, that's fine. It's okay to not want to be in a relationship with someone.

27:35 Adam Three months, huh?

27:36 Caller Yeah, but it's like, I want to be a nice guy. It's like, I want to show mercy.

27:39 Drew Well, listen, mercy is be honest. Well, you have to.

27:45 Adam That's too much.

27:46 Caller I'm kind of doing her a favor because I wanted to put her in a very awkward position in the beginning with her. It's like, I wanted to be with one of her friends, and then I was kind of putting her in a position of, you know, helping me out when she wanted me for herself. So what I ended up doing is, you know, just giving her a shot.

28:00 Drew You had sex with her, huh?

28:01 Caller No, unfortunately. Yes. What am I saying? Fortunately, no.

28:07 Adam You haven't had sex?

28:08 Caller No, that was...

28:08 Adam All right, then listen, then you're a nice guy and there's no reason not to break up. It's easy.

28:14 Caller Obviously, it never matters. I mean, she's like 5'4, 170. I'm a pretty big guy myself. I'm 6'1.5, I'm 2'11.

28:20 Adam Well, if she's grotesquely overweight, that's different. You should stay together. Jose, look, we're telling you, you're not that into her.

28:28 Drew You know, it's not good for her to you to string her along like this.

28:34 Caller I would do that, but it's like, come on, dude. I mean, let's face it. I mean, these girls, these fears, I mean, just pay back the real kick in the ass with these girls. I mean, they'll pay you back the worst ways you can possibly think of. And that's why I'm trying to avoid that.

28:45 Adam Take out a family member. What do you think?

28:48 Caller Like my friend, he told me, give me five bucks and I'll throw all this crap in her face. And I'm like, dude, I mean, come on. Needless to say, I still have a heart and I still want to break up with her.

28:56 Adam But then, Jose walks a fine line here in his life between being a sort of sympathetic character and then sliding into like jackass of hell every once in a while. Like you're not into her. You've not had sex with her. Break up with her.

29:11 Drew Be kind. Don't be cruel to her in the breakup process, but give her the opportunity. I mean, if she knew that you want to get some payback, if she knew that you were feeling sorry for her and that's why you hung in, she would be incredibly insulted.

29:25 Adam Yeah. You know, I was about to say that, then I thought to myself, no, I'd take that.

29:29 Drew Yeah, that's you as a guy.

29:31 Adam I was about to say, how would you like it if some girl you were really into was just staying with you because she felt sorry for you? And then I thought, it's 17, scratch that, 27, 37.

29:43 Drew Whatever.

29:44 Adam Whatever. All right.

29:47 Drew Whatever it took, huh?

29:48 Adam Well, especially if you're having sex. Yeah.

29:51 Drew That's what I said. That's the male brain speaking.

29:53 Adam Should we give Jason another shot?

29:55 Drew All right, go ahead.

29:55 Adam He's got a problem.

29:57 Caller All right.

29:57 Adam Jason.

29:59 Caller Hello.

29:59 Adam Hello. What's your problem, buddy?

30:01 Caller All right.

30:02 Caller This party went on with my girlfriend.

30:05 Drew Right. One time?

30:06 Caller Huh?

30:07 Drew One time, you said?

30:08 Caller Yeah.

30:08 Drew When was this?

30:09 Caller This was like five months ago. All right. And like we were messing around with her. And like she got kind of drunk. And so we had sex and she's now she's five minutes. I mean, five months pregnant and she doesn't know for sure. The other guy said she knew who it was or whatever the father was. But she doesn't know for sure that she doesn't know it's me. But I don't know to tell her or not, you know, because she's like my really good friend. And I I'm too young to take responsibility for this child.

30:46 Adam You mean she doesn't remember having sex with you?

30:49 Caller No, no, no. She doesn't because she was drunk.

30:52 Adam No, no, no. Yeah. She doesn't remember having sex with you.

30:58 Drew So who does she think on her pregnant?

31:00 Caller She doesn't know.

31:02 Adam And she really she was that heated that she does not can't even put that together. She can't do the math on the pregnancy.

31:11 Caller She knows she knows she had sex, but she doesn't remember with who.

31:15 Drew Yeah. She knew knew that she was there with you at the party though, right?

31:18 Caller Yeah.

31:19 Drew Hey, she wouldn't make sense that she would conclude that perhaps it was you or at least discuss it with you.

31:24 Caller No, we're like really good friends that that wouldn't even happen between us.

31:29 Drew I thought you said it was your girlfriend.

31:32 Caller Well, now we are. That's why I don't want to tell her.

31:36 Drew Why are you boyfriend or girlfriend now if you're best friends and you'd never have sex?

31:40 Caller Well, because that was back then, though, and it's different now that we're...

31:44 Drew Again, why wouldn't it occur to her now that you are sexually active, now that you are boyfriend or girlfriend, that perhaps you could have harbored those feelings for her, you being the one that took her to the party, chaperone almost said.

31:56 Adam Chaperone.

31:57 Drew Took her to the party. Why wouldn't she begin at least questioning you about that night and perhaps your involvement?

32:04 Caller I don't know, she told me about it, but she doesn't like bringing the subject up a lot.

32:09 Drew She's not interested in looking for the father?

32:11 Caller She is, but she doesn't really want... Like telling me, because since we're together now, she doesn't... I don't think she wants to tell me.

32:18 Adam Okay. All right. Interesting predicament. So she's going to have the baby?

32:23 Caller Yeah.

32:24 Adam And she can just give it up for adoption?

32:27 Caller But she doesn't want to do that.

32:29 Adam I know.

32:29 Caller And she wants to keep it. And I mean, I would all have it with her, but... And also our parents, though.

32:37 Drew How do you know it's you?

32:39 Caller I know for sure it was me.

32:40 Drew How do you know?

32:41 Caller I didn't use a condom.

32:43 Drew Yeah, maybe somebody else didn't use a condom around that time. Maybe that's why she's not asking questions about that night. Maybe that's why she magically forgot about it.

32:52 Caller No, I think like seriously for sure it's me. Because it was around the same time.

32:58 Adam Hold on. Oh, hold on. He's saying around the same time.

33:01 Drew Yeah.

33:02 Adam That's different. Drew, did you just get done saying verbatim, maybe somebody else had sex with her around the same time?

33:10 Drew Yeah, since he wasn't the boyfriend. Maybe that's why she magically doesn't want to talk about it. Magic doesn't remember.

33:20 Adam Look, I've been around a lot of drunken people in my life, almost exclusively, and once in a while, they get drunk and they black out and they're not sure what they did and so on and so forth. Ninety-five percent of the time, it's a nice excuse for, I was, you know, it's a nice way to say, I did something I'm not too proud of, and it's a good out. I was loaded.

33:44 Drew No, alcoholics don't really black out, though.

33:46 Adam They can do that. She went to the party with this guy. She got loaded with the guy.

33:51 Drew No, she has sex.

33:52 Adam And they went and she knows she had sex that night.

33:55 Drew Never thought it could be this guy.

33:56 Adam Guy's her good friend. Guy's her boyfriend now.

33:59 Drew Yeah. Guy is sexually attracted to her now.

34:01 Adam Is not asking the guy. She's desperately trying to find out who this father is, not saying to the guy, hey, you didn't see me hook up with this guy. Who was I talking to? I wasn't gone for a long period of time. Look, she knows.

34:15 Drew Either that or this whole thing is bogus.

34:17 Adam All right. He was like, his question wasn't really...

34:22 Drew A question. There wasn't a question.

34:24 Caller As usual, bogus calls.

34:26 Adam No, but it just wasn't formed well enough. He would have done better than that. Wouldn't he have?

34:32 Caller I don't know.

34:33 Drew How do we get her on the phone? How did that happen?

34:35 Adam Is she on?

34:36 Drew How do you know who she is? Get Damien on the horn here.

34:39 Adam Damien.

34:42 Caller I drilled the guy for like 20 minutes trying to find out different names. That's names I came up with. He gave me two different numbers for her.

34:50 Drew All right. Let's talk to her.

34:51 Adam All right. Jason is on line five. Lisa is on line seven. Let's talk to Lisa for a second. Lisa, did she just hang up?

35:01 Yeah.

35:02 Drew Let's see if Jason's gone too.

35:03 All right.

35:05 Adam Jason.

35:07 Hello.

35:08 Adam Why did the person hang up whose number you gave us?

35:12 Caller Do you guys want to call her back or something?

35:15 Adam We just did that.

35:16 Caller I didn't know.

35:18 Adam Why do you think she hung up?

35:21 Caller I don't know. She was on the line. Well, was she listening the whole time?

35:27 Adam I have no idea. All right.

35:30 Caller Can you guys try?

35:32 Drew Yeah. Let's have Damien work on this a little bit.

35:34 Adam All right.

35:36 Drew Work this out a little more.

35:37 Adam If it is a bogus call, it's kind of a weird way to go about it. It's sort of confused and muddled one. You know what I mean? Usually bogus calls, they make a big statement. I was banging my girlfriend's mom.

35:50 Caller She was digging it.

35:51 Drew Yeah.

35:53 Caller All right. This is a little...

35:55 Adam It's an interesting way to go about it. It's sort of a confused way of going about it.

35:58 Drew It could be real.

35:58 Caller It could be.

35:59 Drew But we need to clarify. There's something missing on the girl front, on the woman's front of this.

36:05 Adam Brenda?

36:06 Caller Yes. Hi.

36:07 Adam 32. What's up?

36:09 What?

36:10 Adam Hold on. We got that last call back?

36:12 Caller Yeah.

36:13 Adam All right. Hold on, Brenda. Okay.

36:14 Caller Hang on.

36:15 Drew We got to figure this out. Seven. That's very exciting for you, Adam.

36:20 Adam I'm really. I got up at 4.15 this morning for Christ's sake. Lisa?

36:25 Caller Yes?

36:26 Adam You're 16?

36:27 Caller Yes.

36:28 Adam Are you pregnant?

36:29 Caller Yes.

36:30 Adam How many months?

36:31 Caller Five.

36:32 Adam All right. And Jason is your boyfriend?

36:35 Caller Yeah.

36:35 Drew He's currently your boyfriend?

36:37 Caller Pardon?

36:38 Drew He's currently your boyfriend?

36:39 Caller Currently.

36:40 Drew And who got you pregnant?

36:43 Caller I'm not quite sure.

36:44 Caller There was quite a few people there, so I don't know.

36:50 Caller There could be a possibility of one friend.

36:53 Adam All right. And are you an alcoholic?

37:00 Caller Only like when I get depressed, sometimes I drink.

37:04 Adam Do you ever black out? You drink so much you can't remember what happened?

37:09 Caller Yeah, I have a couple of times.

37:11 Caller Uh-huh.

37:12 Adam How do you know you got pregnant from that?

37:16 Caller Pardon?

37:17 Caller You know what?

37:20 Adam Who's yapping in the background?

37:23 Caller That's my mom.

37:24 Adam Okay. Tell her to shut her fat ass up, please.

37:29 Caller Okay.

37:30 Adam Okay.

37:31 Caller Zip it, you nag!

37:31 Caller It's gone.

37:32 Adam Good.

37:34 Caller Oh, boy.

37:34 Adam What a blowhard. What happens to women as soon as they hit about 40? They get louder and they get obnoxious. And then they're not good looking anymore. They have like zero tolerance for them. It's like, you know, 20 years earlier, you'd be, oh, yes, oh, no, I agree. Now it's like, listen, you old hag.

37:52 Drew Come on.

37:52 Adam Beat it.

37:53 Drew Wait, let's put Lisa on hold for a second. We'll chat with her tomorrow, okay?

37:56 Adam No. I like to get to the bottom of this now. Lisa.

37:59 Caller Yes.

38:00 Adam How do you know you got pregnant at that party?

38:04 Caller Well, because I've never, that was my first time.

38:08 Drew How do you know you had, how do you know you had sex that night?

38:12 Caller Because that was the only night that I could have. I've never done it before.

38:17 Drew When was the last?

38:18 Adam In your virgin. And your virgin after that party, you hadn't had sex with anyone?

38:25 Caller No.

38:27 Adam Okay, so you must have gotten pregnant at the party.

38:30 Caller That's the only way I can talk about it.

38:31 Adam Yet you have no recollection of it.

38:34 Caller Um, not really. I, I kind of remember a little bit, but I can't like, I don't know, I can't really picture the face of who it was.

38:44 Adam And how did you get home from the party?

38:47 Caller I don't remember.

38:49 Adam You just woke up in your bed?

38:51 Caller No, I was, we were still at the party.

38:52 We were there for like a while.

38:56 Drew Whose way?

38:58 Caller Like 50 people.

38:59 Adam Wait, I'm going to ask one more time. How did you get home from the party?

39:03 Caller Oh, in the morning. My friend took me home.

39:07 Adam Oh, so you slept over at the party?

39:09 Caller Yeah.

39:10 Adam I see. And why didn't you go home with the person you went to the party with?

39:16 Caller He had already gone. I didn't see him.

39:19 Adam Okay, that's Jason, right?

39:21 Caller Yeah.

39:21 Adam That's your boyfriend now, right?

39:23 Caller Uh-huh.

39:24 Adam Okay. And what are you going to do with this child?

39:28 Caller I would like to raise it. My parents believe on keeping it.

39:32 Adam Right. Your big, loud mom wants to traumatize the child herself?

39:37 Drew No chance you could put this up for adoption?

39:40 Caller I wouldn't want to. I think it's wrong.

39:42 Drew It's wrong to give a child to parents who are prepared to raise a child? Two parents?

39:47 Adam How about giving... Wait a minute. I have an alternative. How about giving the kid a fighting chance? You take five wooden pallets, you lash them together with hemp rope, douse them in gasoline, throw the kid on that and let it go down the Mississippi when it's pressing the banks.

40:05 Drew How about the Nile?

40:08 Adam That's kind of a Moses thing.

40:09 Drew Yeah.

40:10 Adam I say Mississippi. That'd be... All right. Look, let me talk. Oh, no, real fast. Lisa. Huh? Okay. The guy who got you pregnant is your buddy Jason. He called.

40:24 Caller Oh, my God.

40:26 Adam Really? Is this really news to you?

40:29 Caller Oh, my God. He... Oh, my God.

40:32 Adam I still think this is bogus.

40:33 Drew She was sitting listening to him while he told him about it.

40:36 Adam Sorry. Lisa, we don't really believe you.

40:39 Caller Oh, my God.

40:42 Adam I really don't believe her. Anderson, what do you think? I believe her. Anderson believes.

40:47 Caller She was disconnected when he was saying.

40:49 Drew Why aren't you relieved?

40:51 Caller Oh, my God.

40:51 Caller Because I...

40:52 Caller Oh, my God.

40:53 Drew Most people would be relieved to find out that the person that they love is going to be with them to help them solve this mystery that they've been concerned with for these many months and wondering how they're going to do it by themselves.

41:06 Caller I'm happy because that's my boyfriend now, but...

41:08 Drew Oh, now you're happy?

41:09 Caller He'd never do anything like that. Oh, my God.

41:11 Adam What do you mean, he'd never do anything like that?

41:13 Caller I never knew he was like that.

41:15 Caller He violated her when she was asleep.

41:16 Drew Aren't you sexually active with him?

41:18 Caller No, not at all.

41:20 Drew You're not sexually active with him now?

41:22 Caller Uh-uh.

41:23 Adam What, do you think he raped you?

41:25 Caller Oh, my... I don't know.

41:28 Adam Oh, baby.

41:30 Caller Oh, my God.

41:32 Adam Well, look, are these tears of happiness, joy, or confusion?

41:36 I'm so confused.

41:37 Caller I don't know what to do.

41:38 Adam All right. Well, hang on. I'll tell you what to do, all right?

41:42 Caller Okay.

41:42 Adam Hey, Lisa? Okay. Compose yourself, okay? Have a glass of water. Tell your mom to be quiet.

41:51 Caller Okay.

41:51 Adam And then we're gonna get back. We'll clear this whole thing up. You'll feel much better when we're done with you, all right?

41:55 Caller Okay.

41:56 Adam All right. Hang on there. I'm a believer.

42:01 Drew There's a...

42:01 Adam Look, but here... Okay.

42:02 Drew I don't... We have to behave as though it is.

42:04 Adam We have to do that, but...

42:05 Drew We can't assume otherwise.

42:07 Adam And don't take this the wrong way if anyone's listening, but see, the capacity for stupid people to not make sense is almost infinite. I just sat on a goddamn dinghy with the fridge for nine hours. Believe me, I know when people don't make sense, it makes sense in their mind. You know what I mean?

42:26 Drew Yeah.

42:28 Adam Go on a bus and sit next to a really stupid guy for about 20 miles. He's going to say a lot of things that don't really fit together very well. I think that's kind of what we got going here.

42:42 Drew We certainly spent a lot of time trying to fit it together. It just didn't hold.

42:45 Adam Yeah, but there's enough pieces that make it.

42:48 Drew Be that as it may, we've got to aid Elisa, and we will.

42:51 Adam All right, when we come back.

42:55 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

43:07 Adam Loveline, everybody. Phone number 1-800-LLVE-191, Dr. Drew over there, Adam Corolla over here, and Lisa dropped off.

43:17 Drew We need to talk to her. I really do need to talk to her. Do you? I do, because first of all, this thing, we got stuck in the middle of.

43:24 Adam Hold on. Her boyfriend Jason hung up. Now she hung up.

43:28 Drew It's all very suspicious, but as it may, we have to close this thing. If we open it up, we got to close it.

43:33 Adam Well, hold on a second. Why do we got to close it if she hung up?

43:40 Drew Because we got in the middle of it. I really, it's very simple. The fact is she should look upon this very positively. Well, I don't know about very positively. The guy that she really, yeah, the guy that she really cares.

43:51 Adam The guy she really cares for.

43:53 Drew Yeah, the solution to her problem is here. No, not a rapist. They got loaded. They're teenagers. He made a mistake.

43:58 Adam Drew may get an argument for date rape, everybody.

44:01 Drew No, I'm not saying it was a good thing to do or the right thing to do. Maybe he didn't know she was in a blackout. She was unconscious. She was in a blackout.

44:09 Adam Oh, Drew, keep going, buddy.

44:11 Drew I'm not saying it's the right thing. I'm not saying it's the right thing. I'm not saying it's the right thing.

44:14 Adam Big fan of rape, this Drew.

44:16 Drew I'm not saying it isn't rape. I'm not saying it is a good thing. I'm saying that this pregnancy that she was going to have to tolerate on her own, she now has somebody who cares about it very much, is going to participate with her.

44:25 Adam Yeah, who's scared to ask Les to do it. Please give the kid up for adoption. I don't believe, I don't believe in, I don't believe in, I don't believe in. Who cares what you believe in? It's not for you, it's for your kid. Give a rat's ass what you believe in. Drive home and go 100, and then when a cop pulls you over, tell him you don't believe.

44:48 Drew And go in speed limit.

44:49 Adam Yeah, and then he'll go, look, I don't care, because you share the road with a whole bunch of other people who do believe in it, and you're going to kill them. Not me though. William?

44:57 Yeah.

44:58 Adam You're 15?

44:59 Caller Yeah.

44:59 Drew What's up?

45:00 Caller I called a couple of weeks ago. I was a kid who had a problem with the LSD.

45:04 Drew You don't get a lot of those. What's the problem you're having?

45:07 Caller I stopped using it, and I've, like, for three weeks now, I've just been having, like, these shakes ever since I got off. Like, I'll just have the need that I need to shake, but I don't want to, and I'll have to make myself, like, shake, like my hands or something weird, like...

45:25 Adam How much LSD did you do?

45:27 Caller I did it, like, every other day.

45:28 Drew For how long?

45:30 Caller Like, three weeks, like, longer than that.

45:33 Drew Well, anything else happening?

45:36 Caller Excuse me?

45:36 Drew Anything else other than the shakes?

45:39 Caller Like, I'll get, like, the urge to go to the bathroom or something weird like that, but I don't have to. Or, like, I'll just get, like, really bad headaches, feel like I'll need to take it again or something.

45:52 Drew This has got to be the weirdest night of all time. I cannot follow our callers at all. It's like they're speaking some foreign tongue.

45:59 Adam All right, let's just tell him what he should do.

46:02 Drew Okay. He needs to see a neurologist. There may not be anything that can be done about this, but I have seen some very strange neurologic syndromes from LSD, including something called normal pressure hydrocephalus. I've seen movement disorders, and it is something that needs to be evaluated.

46:16 Adam Okay.

46:16 Drew Did you check this? Yeah.

46:19 Adam Damien just called back the phone number we had on Lisa and Jason. Was that the other guy's name?

46:27 Drew Yeah.

46:27 Adam And said the person who answered the cell phone, Lisa, was on informed us that it was a hoax.

46:35 Drew So you're right.

46:36 Adam Mark is 13 years old. Who's Mark?

46:39 Drew The caller.

46:39 Adam I thought that was Jason.

46:40 Drew Yeah. His real name is Mark.

46:42 Adam Oh, I see.

46:43 Okay.

46:44 Adam Well, say Jason, would you? Goofball.

46:47 Caller She was good though.

46:48 Drew No, I didn't buy it. I just thought we had to do something.

46:50 Adam She cried. Yeah. No, they were good. But listen, you wayholes, it's not fair to bring up. I mean, look, if you want to do a bogus call, do a bogus call. But if you say that something's dangerous, it's like calling the fire department and putting in a false alarm. They have to come out.

47:09 Drew That's right.

47:10 Adam There's liabilities here.

47:11 Drew That's right.

47:12 Adam So, you know, if you say I'm pregnant or I'm hooked on something or I'm getting abused, you have to treat it seriously.

47:19 Drew Yep.

47:19 Adam OK. Look, I'm out of here at 12, everybody. That's all I'm saying. Keep them coming. Keep them coming. I get paid the same. Hey, everybody.

47:38 Caller Loveline.

47:39 Adam I'm Adam, that's Drew Pinsky over there. Hole number 1-800-LOVE-191. All right, so that last big debacle call turned out to be bogus.

47:49 Drew At which we kind of knew. It just didn't hang. It didn't fit.

47:53 Adam We did bring it up four or five times, but yet we felt compelled and obligated to stay with it. One of the reasons, by the way, I think you can always tell if something's bogus, is when you can get the other person on the line pretty readily.

48:07 Drew Yeah, and they hang and listen.

48:09 Adam I mean, how often do we say to someone, look, let us talk to your girlfriend, let us talk to your boyfriend, let us... No way... .and it can't get to them. Yeah, so the guy calls to make an admittance, has to get it off his chest that he got this girl pregnant, and then volunteers her phone number so that we can call her and basically spill the beans. Who's going to do that? Okay. I'll see you kids in hell, by the way. Brenda?

48:31 Caller Yes, hi.

48:32 Adam You're 32? Yeah.

48:34 Drew What's up?

48:35 Caller Well, I've been with this guy for seven years, and we have four kids together, two that I had before, and after I had the first one, our sex lives started going down.

48:53 Drew Because why?

48:55 Caller I don't know. Actually, that's what I'm asking you.

48:58 Drew Were you less interested in sex yourself?

49:00 Caller No. I am pretty aggressive when it comes to sex.

49:05 Drew So he was sort of backing off a little bit.

49:08 Caller Yeah, definitely. In fact, because I am so aggressive, he started to get angry with me because I wanted it at least every week, you know? And...

49:20 Drew What do you mean by aggressive?

49:25 Caller Well, I'll be the one to start doing things romantically.

49:34 Drew So you mean you initiate things?

49:35 Caller Yeah, I initiate.

49:37 Drew That's hardly aggressive.

49:39 Adam And at least once a week doesn't sound too frequent.

49:42 Drew Well, aggressive callers are the four time a dayers.

49:45 Caller At this point in our lives, I'm lucky if I get it once every couple of months.

49:49 Drew Yeah. So...

49:50 Adam What's up with him? So he's kind of checking out.

49:53 Caller Yeah, why is he doing this? I mean, okay...

49:55 Adam I don't know.

49:56 Caller The thing is...

49:56 Caller Let's get him by the phone.

49:58 Caller I know that while he's sleeping, he's got to be up at 6 in the morning... No, he's got to be up at 5.30. No.

50:03 Adam Bad times.

50:04 Caller Yeah, well... The thing is, I know that the two of us are in love. I know he loves me. We've got plans on getting married when he gets his divorce. See, he hasn't seen her in 10 years. Oh, boy. And she's like a scary kind of person.

50:24 Does he work on metal?

50:25 Caller Like a mob kind of person.

50:28 Adam What does he do? Construction?

50:30 Caller He's an air control specialist.

50:34 Drew Air traffic control?

50:35 Caller No.

50:35 Adam No, heating and air. HVAC.

50:37 Caller He helps clean the air.

50:40 Adam Right. He changes the filters in the office building.

50:42 Caller No, he builds them. He builds, repairs, installs...

50:46 Drew HVAC.

50:47 Caller Yeah.

50:47 Adam Heating and air guy.

50:48 Caller Yeah.

50:48 Adam Tin knocker.

50:50 Drew Metal.

50:51 Adam Right. God bless you for putting that spin on it.

50:54 Drew He builds them.

50:55 Caller It's a hard thing to explain.

50:56 Adam Picture a guy in a lab coat and a tie with a hard hat and a clipboard pointing out.

51:00 Drew I'm just imagining metallurgy studies at MIT.

51:03 Caller Hard hat, hard hat, yeah. Safety glasses, jeans, t-shirts.

51:08 Drew Right. Listen, all right, Brenda, Brenda. Know him well. Is he on any medication?

51:13 Caller No.

51:13 Drew You sure?

51:14 Caller Yep.

51:15 Drew Does he do drugs or alcohol?

51:16 Caller No.

51:17 Drew Does he have any?

51:18 Caller Alcohol. Yes. He does drink.

51:20 Drew How much?

51:21 Caller He drinks like a 40 a night.

51:26 Drew That's not enough to take the wind out of a guy's face.

51:29 Adam Does he take it in a 40 container, though? Does he come home with a 40 ounce or?

51:35 Caller He usually comes home from work with it and it takes him all night to finish it.

51:39 Adam 40 ounce or?

51:40 Caller Yeah.

51:41 Adam I like that. But that's white trash. You understand?

51:45 Caller Yeah.

51:47 Adam Alright, alright. All right. This one makes sure we're on the same page.

51:53 Drew I like the way you sort of bring her into that. You realize what this means.

51:58 Adam You do understand you're suffering from white trash, doesn't right?

52:02 Drew God, I know.

52:03 Adam I know. OK. Well, I mean, look, I don't know why. I don't know why. You know, you could drink 40 ounces of beer, you know, 12 ounces at a time, and you got no problems. But if you crack the lid on 40, you got something happening. I don't know why that is. I don't know why that makes you white trash.

52:20 Drew Yeah.

52:21 Adam He could drink three, three and a half beers every night for the rest of his life. When he came home, we never say a word. But if he cracked 40 ounces, then there's something up.

52:28 Caller Charlie Park alone makes us white trash. That's no, that's just beyond the point.

52:33 Drew Okay. Listen, it's bad.

52:36 Adam It's always bad when you're telling the kids, don't play by the propane.

52:40 Drew What was he like before he started shutting down like this? Oh, was he a once a week guy?

52:46 Caller Definitely. Oh, well, when I was pregnant, I would follow him into the bath and from the bathroom to the bedroom. I would like watch for him to come out of the bathroom after taking a shower, and I'd follow him into the bedroom. I wouldn't say a word. I'd give him a blowjob and then I'd leave. We would do this kind of thing throughout the day, every single day.

53:09 Adam Yeah.

53:10 Drew Then all of a sudden nothing from him.

53:12 Adam By the way, when you're living in a 800 square foot trailer, you really have to follow the guy to the bathroom. You pretty much know when he's in the bathroom.

53:19 Caller We lived up north then.

53:20 Adam Oh, Traverse City?

53:21 Caller Yeah.

53:22 Adam Oh, yeah. It's a good area.

53:23 Caller Yeah. That we had a nice place then.

53:25 Adam Okay. What happens? Has it been a fast free fall since Traverse City?

53:29 Caller He changed jobs.

53:31 Adam I understand. All right. So Brenda. I just want to make sure. Here's what guys do. They slide into a comfort zone and they do it with everything. They do it with work. They don't, you know, they do it with their relationships first and foremost, and they start checking out. And sometimes it's up to a woman to check him back in. Yeah, but... And I worry about the guy a little bit, but I think Brenda needs to communicate. Don't be aggressive. Forget about sex. Don't say sex. Just talk about you and your relationship.

54:03 Drew The connection.

54:04 Adam His distance, the connection.

54:06 Drew The time that you spend together holding physical, whatever.

54:09 Adam Yeah. Don't even go there. Just say the relationship.

54:12 Drew Remember how I used to do those...

54:13 Adam See if you can re-up him.

54:14 Drew I used to do those...

54:15 Adam BJs when you were leaving the bathroom. Right. With the toilet that you flush with your foot. I'll tell you, every time I go into one of those trailers, and they have them all the time on TV shows and movie sets and stuff, and they got the old septic tank on them, and they got those toilets, and they're always real small and everything, but one thing they got right is that foot lever. And I step on that thing and the toilet flushes, and I think, hey, what's wrong with this one making it into the mainstream?

54:45 Drew Well, now it's hands-free everywhere, right? Yeah, that's good, too.

54:48 Adam I know. I'm saying at my house, what's wrong with the foot pedal? Well, I got to bend over and turn the thing. I hit the thing with my foot. It's a good move.

54:59 Drew Well, you're literally a millionaire. Literally. Why don't you take that up?

55:02 Adam It doesn't exist in a residential application as far as I know. Now, you know what I was saying to someone the other day, Drew? It's too bad guys can't, and I would include myself in this. I wish I would. Guys can't treat the relationships like their relationship with their team, their sports team, the Yankees, the Lakers, the Dodgers.

55:26 Drew They can't get it up for it even in a bad season.

55:29 Adam No. What I'm saying is, think how most guys approached a relationship. I was actually talking to Bill Maher about this during a commercial when we did, when I did PI on Thursday, which was, think about a guy's relationship. He's tired of his boss, he's tired of his work, he's tired of his house, he's tired of his kids, he's certainly tired of his relationship.

55:51 Drew Yeah.

55:52 Adam But what about his team?

55:54 Drew He always gets it up for that.

55:55 Adam The love grows deeper with each passing year.

55:59 Drew Even in a bad year.

56:00 Adam Right. And the first year, it's like, yeah, I kind of like this team. By year number five, he's deeply in love. And by year 15, he can't stop talking about it. He's ordering cards off the eBay.

56:12 Drew No chance of separation. No chance. He could move away still with that team.

56:16 Adam Right. Huge Mets fan, moved to Oregon.

56:19 Drew Forget it.

56:20 Adam 20 years, still big Mets, still wearing the Mets cap. Wouldn't it be great if guys could channel just an ounce of this energy into the relationship? And I'm not saying that I do it. I'm as bad as anybody else.

56:31 Drew The great thing is shows that guys can do that. You wonder if they could, they can. There it is.

56:35 Adam I still, but those guys have the least relationships.

56:39 Drew Those guys, this is the guy we're talking about.

56:42 Adam Yeah, I mean, I'd like to see, I'd like to see a point where guys are wearing around windbreakers with their wife's picture, name on the back, ordering her rookie card from high school, you know. I mean, really, could you imagine that kind of attachment, enthusiasm that a lot of guys have for their team, for their relationship, and why it can be so powerful in one facet of life and almost non-existent in the other. Growing, yeah, the feeling that they had for their wife or girlfriend was never stronger than in the first year, and by year number 15, they're almost checked out, almost done. You won't see that with the sports team. I like to infuse some of that energy.

57:25 Drew Well, this guy, and again, this guy may respond to a little prompting by her. He may be depressed, it may be a medical problem, maybe he's on some medication she doesn't know about, maybe he's doing, maybe he's smoking pot every day. When does it work? She doesn't know that. That would shut him down pretty good. And this is actually pretty serious stuff, though, in terms of where the relationship's going.

57:44 Adam I'm not done with the sports thing, Drew.

57:45 Drew All right, go ahead, enjoy.

57:47 Adam And what about posties like yourself who don't like sports?

57:49 Drew I like sports.

57:50 Adam No, no. I mean, you don't have a team you follow.

57:53 Drew I do. I follow with my kids.

57:54 Adam You have that energy for your relationship, though.

57:57 Drew No, that's true.

57:57 Adam And I would say that not all, but most guys, the deeper they're into their team.

58:02 Drew Maybe that's how they sublimate their sexual energy.

58:04 Adam I think they do. It's not sexual energy, it's relationship energy.

58:09 Drew But it goes, it really drives, it's got that intensity of sex.

58:13 Adam It does, well, it has a passion to it.

58:16 Drew Passionate, passionate.

58:17 Adam Passionate, passionate man like yourself. No, but what I'm saying is, I don't even, and I know we're on the same page now, but I don't even think it's sexual energy. I think it's a relationship energy that they're afraid to put into their actual partner, and they put it into their team. They live and die, the hopes, the dreams, the passion. The more passionate a guy is about his team, usually the less passionate he is about his relationship, and I would say vice versa. The guys are really into the relationships. They're not quite as into the team.

58:51 Drew Yeah, yeah, great.

58:54 Adam Drew, who's the genius here?

58:55 Drew Oh, I've always known.

58:57 Adam Thank you. Troy?

58:58 Caller Yes.

58:59 Adam Year 23?

59:01 Caller Yes.

59:02 Adam You sound like the guy from Silence of the Lambs who was killing the girl and skinning her, right? What's up there, Troy?

59:16 Caller I'm kind of my girl. Well, now, ex-girl, baby mother. She is...

59:26 Adam Ex-girl, friend, right?

59:28 Caller Yes.

59:28 Adam The mother of your baby.

59:31 Caller Yes. It's like I will have to explain that for you to get to understand what I'm about to say. All right. It's like... You know how, like, in your past, some things is, like, better left unsaid?

59:47 Drew More history? No, less history, more mystery.

59:49 Adam Right. And speaking of said, though, I can hear what's being said on the TV behind you. So can you turn that down, Troy?

59:56 Drew Yeah.

59:56 Adam Thank you.

59:57 Drew See, Adam has day ADD. Anything that distracts him is completely derails him from the focus of the moment.

1:00:03 Adam Well, here's the beauty of me. What is a voice in the distance to everyone else is louder than Troy's voice in my head. All right. You got that, Troy?

1:00:14 Caller Yes.

1:00:14 Adam All right. So what's going on? Your ex-girlfriend.

1:00:17 Caller Yes.

1:00:18 Adam Who is the mother of your little girl.

1:00:20 Drew Yes. Go on.

1:00:22 Caller Um, she, she invited me to a party at, at, that her family was given.

1:00:28 Drew Yeah.

1:00:29 Caller And somebody recognized me at the party.

1:00:32 Drew Somebody from your past.

1:00:34 Caller Yeah. Who knew me from my past.

1:00:36 Drew About things that were left unsaid that she didn't know about.

1:00:39 Caller Yes. But it, it, it wasn't like the past wasn't too much past. It was, it was kind of recent.

1:00:49 Drew Like during the relationship with your girlfriend?

1:00:52 Caller Yeah. It was during the relationship.

1:00:54 Drew Was it another woman?

1:00:56 Caller No. It was, it was more of, it was like, I used to live like a violent past, you know? Mm-hmm. Me and the company that I kept. Right. Violent.

1:01:09 Adam Okay.

1:01:10 Caller And I, I tried to get out of that because my ma, my mother, she knew the life that I lived. The life that I lived.

1:01:19 Adam Right.

1:01:20 Caller And I promised to her that I wouldn't do it anymore. So I stopped that, you know? But I still kept company with people who really don't, you know, really aren't legal.

1:01:35 Adam They're bad people. But Troy, just in this, in the name of getting some clarity here, and because you're kind of, you're speaking in circles, you're trying to protect yourself or somebody. What is the question?

1:01:50 Caller What I want to know is, it's like, okay, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, the dilemma is this. I don't want to put her in danger and I don't want to lose her. But I feel like if I keep her with me, I'm kind of putting her in danger. But I know that I love her and I know I want her.

1:02:15 Drew Does she know about your past now?

1:02:18 Caller She kind of have, she...

1:02:19 Drew She has an idea now.

1:02:20 Caller She has an idea.

1:02:21 Drew Does she know she would be in danger if she were with you?

1:02:24 Caller Not exactly.

1:02:25 Adam And what do you mean in danger? I mean, is somebody having out for you and she might get in the way?

1:02:34 Caller I could tell you one, one, one example what happened.

1:02:38 All right.

1:02:39 Caller We, we went out together and it was somebody that knew me through one of my friends. And the guy, when he walked in, I saw him, we was in a bar and I saw him.

1:02:54 Right.

1:02:55 Caller And so I saw him look at my face and I know he knew who I was. Because the look that he gave me, my grand-aunt told her it was time for us to go. Right. So as we leave and he followed us out. And now we out on the sidewalk and he came and he was like, he was like, yo, I want to talk to you. So my first reaction was to get the best of him before he tried me. Right. So I, I commenced to beating him up right there.

1:03:32 Adam Oh, maybe, maybe just like left your keys on the table or something. I want to return those to you.

1:03:38 Caller No, I knew definitely you knew the guy. He knew what I was.

1:03:42 Adam All right, Troy, but let me just, just because we got to move on here, let me just sum this up. You got, you have a child with this woman.

1:03:50 Caller Yeah.

1:03:50 Adam You have to stick in for the child and you love this woman. Why don't you stay in with her?

1:03:56 Drew Why don't you take her and move somewhere else? I mean, start over.

1:03:59 Adam Yeah, why? I mean, look.

1:04:00 Caller She can't understand it.

1:04:03 Drew She doesn't need to. You want to take her somewhere, you want to start a life with her, start it somewhere else.

1:04:07 Adam She doesn't need to know every gory detail of your past.

1:04:10 Drew She knows you beat the crap out of some guy on the sidewalk and we just looked at you sideways. She knows something's up. And if she doesn't, it serves her right not to know more. You know what I mean? She doesn't want to know more in that case.

1:04:22 Adam Just tell her there's people around this neighborhood that ain't real keen on me. Why don't we just start a life? Or you could probably just stay in and don't go to a bar with her. She's pregnant, right?

1:04:35 Drew You're in love.

1:04:37 Adam Hang out. Or move away.

1:04:38 Drew Move somewhere, start again.

1:04:40 Adam Okay. When you say start again, you mean start beating up guys?

1:04:44 Drew Start again without that.

1:04:45 Adam Okay.

1:04:49 Drew What a night.

1:04:50 Adam What does that guy, Chinese, you think?

1:04:52 Drew Yeah, I think so. Vietnamese. Go ahead, Jeff.

1:04:54 Adam Vietnamese? Yeah. Okay. Jeffy. Hey, Jeff, you're 16. What's up?

1:05:02 Caller Yeah. I'm having trouble with my girlfriend. We've been going out for like six months now. And she decided like most girls, that now we've been going out for a long time, she wants to be completely honest. So like into the relationship, like we weren't very serious until like the fourth or fifth month.

1:05:25 Drew You're a screw-in-er.

1:05:26 Caller Like when I broke up with my last girlfriend, and we like up and then I got this girl. You're like still like making out and like hanging out and like fooling around stuff like that.

1:05:36 Drew Your ex-girlfriend.

1:05:37 Caller Yeah. Up until like the whole first month of me dating this other girl.

1:05:41 Drew Right. And now she knows that and freaked out, right?

1:05:44 Caller Yeah. And she was like in like here on month six. And I was like, so she's like, I just want to be completely honest. I'm going to start out with small little things. They really didn't matter. Also, I was like, hey, I was making out with this girl when we first got out and she freaked out on me.

1:05:58 Drew Yeah.

1:05:59 Caller Right.

1:06:00 Adam So now what?

1:06:03 Caller So I'm really, I'm really into this girl though. See, I don't want to break up with her.

1:06:06 Drew Good. Stay in and she will.

1:06:08 Caller She's like the first girl that I ever went out with that I didn't want to have sex with.

1:06:12 Drew Well, she will either get over this or she won't. If she doesn't, she's looking for a reason to sabotage this relationship. It's really...

1:06:19 Adam Yeah, yeah. This is an egregious, right?

1:06:22 Drew No. No. They were still not even dating. They were still with the old girlfriend. Yeah, but it's one of those transition times.

1:06:31 Adam But understand this, everybody. And it's almost unfair when people do this, especially when you're a younger couple, any age couple. When somebody breaks up with somebody else, it's because either they really weren't that into them, which is about 95% of it, or the 5% which is they actually did something so egregious that the person cannot get past it. That would be killing one of their family members, not their own, by the way, one of the couples, you know, one of her family members, possibly having sex one or more times with one or more siblings. And that kind of thing, felonies. Even those things we've learned from this show can be overlooked. When you're in, heroin, murder, rape, and arson, can all, you'll get, you have a lot of, they give you a long leash for that stuff. Now conversely, if they're really not that into you or sort of on the fence, and you do a little something, they'll just go, well, that's the reason we broke up. And then you start fighting it. You focus on that one thing. Oh, oh, oh, I am, oh, look, we're barely going on, we're dating, I'm sorry, you want me to get a note from the chick I was banging? She says she's sorry too. You start focusing on that and they go, no, no, can't be made up for. But really what they're saying is, no, no, I never was really that into you, or it became too intimate and too scary for me, and I was looking for an excuse to break up, but whatever it is, this is an excuse.

1:08:08 Drew Right, exactly.

1:08:09 Adam Same by the way, look, same with everything in life. You ever get canned from a job? That's not some city job with a bunch of red tape or something, but you're just working. You do the work of ten employees, you're the greatest guy ever. All of a sudden, you have a few too many boozes at the Christmas party and say something to the boss, he don't fire you. No way. Now, if he's looking for an excuse and you have a few boozes at the Christmas party and get out of line, you're gone. You'll focus on that one thing. But look back at all the days you showed up late, all the days you were hung over and the crappy, sloppy work that you did while you were employed. That's that. Believe me, you do good work. People love you. It's real hard to get rid of you. Okay, we'll be back.

1:08:56 Caller Hello, what is this?

1:08:57 Caller This is Love Lion.

1:09:03 Hi, everybody, this is Art from Everclear, and you're listening to Love Lion with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:09:09 Adam Where are those guys? Where's Everclear? Saw Art yesterday.

1:09:16 Caller Oh, God. Where?

1:09:20 Adam Was it the Mandalay Bay in Vegas? Was it a diner at about 5.30 in the morning in Wokdart?

1:09:29 Drew How weird is that? How weird is that that I ask about it?

1:09:34 Adam Well, you ask about it's not that weird, although it's minorly weird. Playing the Everclear drop, Art from Everclear drop, is a little weird because I really don't think we've heard that one in a year, have we? I mean, two months.

1:09:50 Drew No, more than that. And then me going, hey, I haven't seen those guys in a long time. I wonder how they're doing.

1:09:53 Adam Anderson says, you know what I love about Anderson, by the way?

1:09:56 Drew Yeah, he's like one of our...

1:09:56 Adam He just chimed in with two months.

1:09:58 Drew He's like one of our callers. Whatever it is, no.

1:10:00 Adam No, no, no. You know what Anderson's like. This, it all harkens back to the time when... Who called into this show? Eminem. Eminem, right. If you want to know this show in a nutshell, Eminem called into this show a year ago. And I was saying, and this was probably six months ago when he was at the Eminem height. And I said, yeah, you know, Eminem, I think, called into this show once. Now, any other radio show, whether they remembered it or not, it's good business to say, oh yeah, Eminem calls the show. Not me. I got Anderson over there. No, he did not. He did not call the show. And you know me, my brain's mush. And I don't know anyone from anyone.

1:10:50 Yeah. Okay. Well, maybe.

1:10:51 Adam And I'm saying, I think he did. That's my recollection. Oh no, no, no. Why?

1:10:58 Drew You should be used to that.

1:10:59 Adam That'd be too easy.

1:10:59 Drew It's like our collars.

1:11:00 Adam Yes. And I'm telling you, you didn't play. And I don't know where Ann was on that one. I don't know if you were in that night or not, but it's probably best that you weren't. It really got ugly. But I swear that that ever clear drop, I've not heard. It's not like I heard that in the past two months.

1:11:16 Caller Who picks the drops? Who plays them?

1:11:19 Adam Anderson picks the drops. Anderson plays them. And granted, sometimes we're taking a leak.

1:11:24 Drew He also sets up the phone lines too when you're talking to people that call in from the outside. Like Eminem.

1:11:29 Adam Like Eminem. Interesting. Very good point. The point is, what was strange and weird is now no big deal. That's the point.

1:11:40 Drew Ruined our story.

1:11:40 Adam Let's move on. That's right. Eminem never called the show. And he's been playing the Art Alexakis drop from Everclear all week long. So let's move along.

1:11:50 Hi everybody. This is Art from Everclear and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:11:56 Adam Steve?

1:11:57 Caller Yeah.

1:11:58 Adam You're 23.

1:11:59 Caller Yep.

1:12:01 Caller Hey guys, you guys are gods.

1:12:03 Adam Thank you.

1:12:03 Caller You really are. Both of you.

1:12:04 Adam Thank you.

1:12:06 Caller What's up? Well, my wife's best friend. We've been married for almost two years now. When we first got married, he was kind of after her, you know what I mean? Kind of jealous because he lost out. Now he claims gay because it gets him attention, quite simply.

1:12:27 Adam Same with Drew.

1:12:28 Caller Yeah.

1:12:28 Adam Yeah.

1:12:29 Caller But anyway, after we first got married, I'm like, hey, you know, it's not appropriate because he makes these little innuendos.

1:12:38 Drew How do you know the guy?

1:12:40 Caller Through my wife.

1:12:41 Adam He blew him through college.

1:12:43 Drew You're gay.

1:12:44 Caller Yeah. A couple of times. I'm just kidding.

1:12:46 Adam Steve, you got anything going in that department yourself?

1:12:49 Caller No. No. Perfectly straight.

1:12:52 Adam Perfectly.

1:12:53 Caller It physically sickens me. But anyway...

1:12:56 Adam Hold on a second. What are you talking about? Physically sickens. I'm smelling... I'm thinking thou protest a little too much.

1:13:05 Drew Well, you've always talked about how you react physically to walking into the gay porn section. Of course, that's when you're actually exposed to it. It's a little different than just thinking about it.

1:13:15 Caller Touche.

1:13:16 Adam Steve?

1:13:17 Caller Yeah?

1:13:17 Adam You a religious guy?

1:13:19 Caller No.

1:13:20 Adam Okay.

1:13:21 Caller Definitely not.

1:13:21 Caller All right.

1:13:23 Adam So this guy is... He claims to be gay, you claim, but why would someone claim to be gay who wasn't gay?

1:13:33 Caller Well, I mean, he's gay, but he does it more for attention. You know what I mean?

1:13:37 Drew No, we don't know what you mean. I've never met him. He goes wherever the booty is. Whether it's male or female.

1:13:44 Caller Yeah.

1:13:45 Drew So he's bisexual.

1:13:46 Caller Yeah.

1:13:47 Drew He's everysexual.

1:13:48 Caller Yeah.

1:13:48 Drew It's Andy Dick. He's Andy Dick. He's after your wife.

1:13:51 Caller Yeah, there you go.

1:13:53 Adam All right. So this guy's got his...

1:13:56 Drew So he's all over the place.

1:13:57 Adam Sight set on your wife.

1:13:59 Drew Okay.

1:13:59 Caller Yeah.

1:14:00 Adam You don't like him, and your wife does like him.

1:14:03 Drew Yeah.

1:14:03 Caller I mean, he's her best friend, and I understand that.

1:14:05 Drew Her best friend. He's a sexual compulsive. That's her best friend.

1:14:08 Caller Yeah.

1:14:09 Adam Why is this her best friend?

1:14:13 Caller He got me. Yeah.

1:14:14 Adam What's up with your wife?

1:14:17 Caller Um, I have no idea.

1:14:20 Adam Well, I mean, here's the question we're asking, Steve, and I'll ask it to everybody out there because we get into this all the time. It's like, you know, the guy's a felon, the guy's an alcoholic, the guy's abusive. I love it.

1:14:30 Drew I love him.

1:14:31 Adam Now, let's stop talking about him. Let's start talking about you.

1:14:34 Drew Right.

1:14:34 Adam In this case, your wife. This guy sounds like a little bit of a piece of work. What's up with your wife that she would, you know, bring him into the inner circle and be his best friend this way? What kind of issues does she have?

1:14:47 Caller Um, nothing. I mean, well, her brother was killed at a young age. By whom? He blew up, I guess.

1:14:56 Drew He blew up?

1:14:57 Caller Yeah. Um, he-

1:14:58 Adam Oh, I see.

1:15:01 Drew Oh, you mean spontaneous combustion? Okay.

1:15:03 Caller No, he made fireworks and he screwed, I mean, he just screwed up one day and blew up the whole house and he was in it.

1:15:10 Adam Wow. And what do you- Steve, you have an interesting energy yourself. You should hope you're gay because now you've gone to Serial Killer, my book. There's two categories for you to fall into. It's like that Pacino ball that falls down, the Pacino ball falls down thing. One said gay, the other said Serial Killer, and the gay just got blocked up. Now there's nothing left. What's up? You got some energy. What's going on with you?

1:15:38 Caller Well, my brother is massively, massively bipolar schizoaffective, but I've been through the whole therapy thing and I'm perfectly healthy, perfectly well.

1:15:49 Adam All right. What do you do for a living? Some white collar type work?

1:15:53 Caller Look for the areas, fill that space.

1:15:56 Drew You're what?

1:15:56 Caller I'm a rent-a-cop.

1:15:58 Adam Oh, really?

1:15:58 Caller Supervisor of a security company.

1:15:59 Adam I see. Okay. And you have no problem with the gays or you do have a problem with the gays?

1:16:05 Caller You know, some of my best friends are gay.

1:16:07 Adam Okay.

1:16:07 Caller I have no problem with it. The rule kind of is, is, you know, they do their thing. I do mine. I don't problem with it. They don't. But this guy, he's just-

1:16:16 Drew Why do we keep-

1:16:18 Caller Getting worse and faster manipulator. And that's what bothers me.

1:16:21 Adam Okay. Well, now can't you just tell your wife, look, the guy, I'm your husband.

1:16:26 Drew The guy's a problem.

1:16:27 Adam The guy really creeps me out.

1:16:28 Drew I'm afraid he's going to do something to you.

1:16:29 Adam Scale it back a little bit with the guy.

1:16:31 Drew It's not that he's gay, it's that he's got no boundaries and that isn't a healthy thing to be around.

1:16:36 Caller I tried that. And I mean, I sat there and I wrote it in a letter because I figured that would be the most non-offensive approach.

1:16:43 Drew To your wife?

1:16:44 Caller Yeah, I wrote it in a letter to my wife.

1:16:46 Adam You don't have stationery with little pictures of cactus in your name?

1:16:51 Caller No, I don't.

1:16:52 Adam It doesn't smell like patchouli or anything?

1:16:55 Caller No, napkin or something. But all of a sudden, I'm this horrible, evil guy and I'm trying to prevent her from hanging out with her best friend. See, the thing is, this guy is a master manipulator. He could have you sold into the sky as purple.

1:17:12 Drew Does your wife have a psychiatric history?

1:17:14 Caller Yeah, she's been through therapy after her brother was killed.

1:17:18 Drew Yeah, but no, no. I know you want to blame it all on the brother. She was in a psychiatric hospital at one time?

1:17:24 Caller Yeah, she was. She had a nervous breakdown.

1:17:28 Adam That's not her brother.

1:17:29 Drew That's not the brother, okay?

1:17:29 Caller That's not the brother.

1:17:31 Drew I understand. You've got a project on your hands here.

1:17:34 Caller I know.

1:17:34 Caller Yeah, the wife.

1:17:36 Adam Yes, she needs work.

1:17:37 Drew Does she have a borderline personality disorder?

1:17:40 Caller You know, I have to say yes.

1:17:42 Drew Yeah.

1:17:42 Caller Okay.

1:17:45 Caller It's shocking.

1:17:46 Adam That's all from the explosion or?

1:17:48 Caller No.

1:17:50 Adam Look, Steve, listen, we got to go. But listen, you have to be more honest with yourself. Your wife has some serious issues, okay? And you got a little energy yourself. And this guy has become the modern day version of the brother who blew the house up. All the energy from the past goes into the brother, blew the house up, and all the energy of today goes into the gay slash bi friend who hangs out.

1:18:17 Drew These are just minor symptoms of a much bigger story.

1:18:20 Adam This is what you focus on. The past was the brother, now is Bruce, who's the universal name for the bi guy. This is not where you should focus. You guys need to focus on the relationship, maybe a little counseling, you need to focus on your ass, and she really needs to focus on her ass.

1:18:37 Drew This is time for the professional work.

1:18:39 Adam Not this guy?

1:18:40 Drew No.

1:18:41 Adam Okay.

1:18:41 Drew Although this guy for a borderline, have a guy like that around is looking for chaos.

1:18:46 Adam Right. Let me say something about-

1:18:48 Drew He may combust.

1:18:49 Adam Yeah. Speaking of combust in fireworks, the fourth is coming up.

1:18:53 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:18:54 Adam Let me tell you something about the utopia that is almost every state but this goddamn Nazi-run California here. I was talking to the fridge. Me and the fridge, you know, Chicago Bears fame, were fishing today for a man show bit. And I was asking him what he was doing for the fourth. And let me tell you something about fridge. 400 pounds and does not disappoint. The fridge already has ordered 137-pound pigs, he's putting it in the ground. Oh yeah. Yes, from South Carolina.

1:19:25 Drew Where does he live?

1:19:26 Adam South Carolina.

1:19:27 Drew Oh, he came out for the man show?

1:19:29 Adam We flew his ass out, took two planes.

1:19:32 Drew Two seats?

1:19:32 Adam Two planes. No, two planes. Oh.

1:19:35 Drew Him and his ass.

1:19:36 Adam We flew his torso.

1:19:37 Drew Him and his ass, you said.

1:19:39 Adam That's right. Two planes we had to fly the fridge out on. I said, fridge, what are you doing? Now fridge is really, I mean, like I said, he doesn't disappoint. He is what you would expect. He's already ordered the pig. He's going to go pick the pig up and the pig takes about 12 hours to cook. It's an hour every 10 pounds or something like that, 13 hours to cook. Putting that pig, the fridge likes to fish and he likes to barbecue. So he's getting the pig and about the, you know, 30 chickens and that's what he's doing. So I say, so what do you do? So he's got the fire pit in the backyard, puts the pig in there, starts drinking beer and then in the evening starts lighting off the fireworks. Now me being from California, Nazi California, I say, you get to light fireworks off? Yeah, why not? I said, what about the cops? Why do they care? You get to go on your own property and light fireworks? Sure. They don't take your house or arrest you or anything? No, why should they? I said, wow, you're right. You're right. This is the way it should be.

1:20:47 Drew Last year, I lit up one little cone off in our backyard on a huge concrete area.

1:20:51 Adam Yeah.

1:20:51 Drew Neighbor.

1:20:52 Adam Of course, of course.

1:20:53 Drew Screaming bloody murder.

1:20:56 Adam Pansies. Go back in your house. They'll lock yourself up in your closet, you pansies.

1:21:00 You pansy.

1:21:01 Adam Jesus Christ. I know. And so he says, yeah, we just go get fireworks and light them off.

1:21:06 Drew I said, who's going to call the fire marshal? The fire marshal's going to come.

1:21:09 Adam He said, look, you can light them off right in front of the police station. It's illegal. They don't care. I said, why not? I got bigger fish to fry. I said, yeah, isn't that great? Wouldn't it be great? You can actually light fireworks off in front of the yard. And Jimmy said, well, what about the climate? It's probably wet, whatever. He said, no, it gets real dry during the summer like this. He was looking around. He said, we got these hills with the brush on and stuff. I said, good. You put the pig in the ground, you light the fireworks off. I know I would immediately be carted off to jail if I did that and lose my house out here. And I thought, that is wonderful. I'm telling you, every state but California with the authorities, when I was in New Orleans, guy blew right by a cop car, was already doing, the cop was doing five miles an hour past the speed limit, we blew right past him. I was freaking out. Hey, you passed a cop. Look, he's going to get us in trouble. The guy looked at me, he's like, hey, calm down. I was like, you just drove past a cop? You passed a cop car. I was yelling at the guy, because around here, if the cop is doing 18 miles an hour in the 35, you can't pass him. And he looked at me and he went, yeah, what's he care with me? He's got bigger fish to fry. And I thought, yes. Yes, the bigger fish to fry theory. So nice.

1:22:21 Drew More important things to do.

1:22:22 Adam Yeah. What do they care? I pay my taxes. I'm not doing anything wrong.

1:22:25 Drew They actually spend their time looking after the criminals.

1:22:28 Adam Yeah, right, right. And one last thing to say about the fireworks. I was watching the local news and saw the kid who blew a couple of fingers off last year. Each year, is my theory, they hire a poor Latino kid to blow off a finger so they can use him in next year's campaign. I really think that happens. It's like, holy Christ, we've made it through the fourth and no one lost a finger. What the hell are we going to do for next year's campaign? How about Javier from 94? No, no, we used him already.

1:23:05 Drew He's too old.

1:23:06 Adam Yeah.

1:23:07 Drew Not the same sympathy.

1:23:07 Adam Look, somebody's going to have to offer up the kid, will blow his finger off, don't worry, we'll have a physician nearby, it'll be fine. He'll make more off the campaign and the notoriety than he would do with that finger. What hand? What are you, right handed? We'll do your left hand, no big deal. Say you can't hold a pencil anymore. So they put this kid up on the thing and he's got the, you know, he's got the finger, half the finger thing. And what, the kid's 11, 12 years old. What's the story? Well, he lit the M80 off. First off, he found an M80, thought it was a fake M80. All right, I'll buy that so far. Then he lights the M80, lights the fuse. Now he's holding it and now he thinks, I got to get this fuse out. So he tries to like pull the fuse out or whatever. He can't seem to extinguish the thing with his fingers. So he runs into the house to put the thing under the sink and blows his hand off or at least a couple of fingers. Now I'm thinking, I feel sorry for the guy, but something bad was bound to happen to this cat anyway. Really, isn't that just Darwinism? What about guys hang themselves with belts and shoelaces in prison? Does that mean we can't use them now or are they now dangerous? Because one guy who doesn't have two brain cells to rub together is injured himself? That's what I'm saying. That's my overall message tonight. This guy goes into the house of the name 80 to try to put it under the sink, blows his hand off. And now I can't do it. That's what I'm saying.

1:24:36 Drew Now you can't let a sparkler pick low P.

1:24:38 Adam Right. But like I said, what about guys who hang themselves with shoelaces? Do we have to wear loafers now or can we just figure out how to work a shoelace without hanging ourselves? Let's think about that.

1:24:53 Caller Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready.

1:25:03 Drew How was that?

1:25:04 Adam I wasn't sure if we were on the air. Anderson and I were fooling by quick finger point every once in a while. Loveline. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm really close to a stop here. Blah, blah, blah. Nothing worse than sleep deprivation.

1:25:21 Drew Yeah. We do a lot of that though, both of us.

1:25:24 Adam Yeah. Five hours, that's light for me, but two and a half last night.

1:25:31 Drew People somehow think that you're just because of the way you talk on the radio, some sort of FOP. You know what I mean? Yeah. You've never been late to anything. You never listen early to anything. There have been stuff we've been at like 4.30 in the morning, 5 in the morning. Man, you are up and there.

1:25:46 Adam Really?

1:25:47 Drew Yeah.

1:25:47 Adam Thanks. Jimmy complains constantly that I make him late. He's high. He's high, right?

1:25:56 Drew You know what you do? You push the limits of stuff, but you never are late.

1:26:01 Adam Right.

1:26:02 Drew Never. Yeah. Yeah. Why show up early? Does he have to be early to everything?

1:26:06 Adam Yeah. He's always got to get pussy that way, you know? We're going to Pasadena to do the up front. The car is supposed to pick us up at 10, and the things at noon. I'm like, show up at 11, 30. Oh, no, no. No, no.

1:26:19 Drew That's Daniel.

1:26:21 Adam No, no. That's Jimmy.

1:26:22 Drew Really?

1:26:23 Adam Yeah. If he's listening, he'll call in. They'll tell me I make him late for everything.

1:26:27 Drew All right. Call in. Let's put him on line seven.

1:26:29 Adam Oh, look. He's not listening. He got to put 415, too.

1:26:33 Caller Dr. Drew's a more solid, funny thing than that.

1:26:36 Adam That's right. Amy?

1:26:40 Hi.

1:26:40 Adam Hey, you're 24.

1:26:42 Caller Yeah.

1:26:42 Adam All right. I'm going to move through some calls here because I've been talking too much. You're a speed addict.

1:26:47 Drew You were a speed addict.

1:26:48 Adam At 16.

1:26:49 Caller At 16. I'm 24 now.

1:26:50 Adam Sober for eight years.

1:26:52 Caller Yes.

1:26:52 Adam Wants to know the effects.

1:26:54 Drew What are you experiencing?

1:26:57 Caller I... It's kind of hard to explain. I have severe panic attacks occasionally. Right. And even when I'm not having panic attacks, it's kind of always there in the background somewhere.

1:27:07 Drew Right. Right.

1:27:08 Caller And at the end of the day, I'm usually exhausted because I'm kind of trying to contain myself.

1:27:13 Drew Any mood problems? You're depressed?

1:27:17 Caller Currently I am. I get depressed periodically because I'm just so exhausted.

1:27:22 Drew Any memory problems?

1:27:24 Caller No.

1:27:25 Drew Okay. Are you actually in recovery? You have a sponsor? You work in a program?

1:27:29 Caller No. I actually... I had an episode when I was 16, almost 17, I overdosed and I freaked out completely. It lasted for about a week.

1:27:42 Adam Geez, you're really into that.

1:27:44 Caller My mom put me... She started me seeing a psychiatrist. I saw her for about a year. I really didn't have much change. But now I never went through any recovery. I haven't done any drug tests.

1:27:56 Drew Are you on medication right now?

1:27:57 Caller No.

1:27:58 Drew Okay. You take any addict and you take the drug away, and you don't replace it with something, some sort of process, something to help that brain manage their affect differently. You get a depressed, anxious, panic-attacked person, almost without exception. So just being an addict, not in recovery, could be the entire reason you're experiencing what you're experiencing. Now, doing a lot of speed absolutely can predispose you to depression, absolutely can cause panic attacks. But usually my experience causes some sort of memory problems if you're getting into that kind of biological injury. So maybe get in a program or get a therapist and start seeing very, very regularly. You need some sort of ongoing change, some growth before this is going to settle down. And you may need a biological evaluation because these things do need medication commonly.

1:28:47 Adam Hi, Nikki, 16. Hello. Nikki. Hello. Nikki. Hello. All right.

1:28:58 Caller Hi.

1:28:59 Adam Yeah, you're 16.

1:29:00 Caller Yeah.

1:29:00 Adam What's up?

1:29:01 Caller My question is, okay, I've been seeing my boyfriend for about three months now, and I've known him for about two years. And I just recently found out that he has an STD. And I thought it was kind of awkward, like when we first started going out, that he'd have sex with me with his boxers and a condom on. But I didn't really like ask questions.

1:29:20 Drew How did he do that?

1:29:21 Adam He pulled this junk out of the boxer hole, right?

1:29:25 Caller Yeah, basically.

1:29:26 Drew You know, what does having an STD have to do with wearing boxers?

1:29:30 Adam He didn't want her to see parts.

1:29:31 Caller He didn't want me to be able to see, I guess, or he didn't want to expose me to it.

1:29:36 Drew Yeah, but he would pull his junk out and then put the condom on?

1:29:39 Caller Yeah.

1:29:39 Drew Why did you see something when he pulled the junk out?

1:29:42 Caller Well, because he always did it with the lights off.

1:29:44 Adam All right.

1:29:44 Drew So why the boxers? I don't get that.

1:29:46 Caller I don't know.

1:29:47 Adam Maybe he had something going on in his...

1:29:51 Drew Yeah, but the lights are off. The Johnson comes out.

1:29:54 Adam Who knows?

1:29:54 Caller Okay. And then anyway, so I ended up having sex with him without any protection just like the other day. And it turns out he has genital warts.

1:30:05 Drew How did you find that out?

1:30:07 Caller Because we were both in a 12-step program.

1:30:09 Drew Yeah.

1:30:10 Caller And he had to do a four-step and that's where you make amends and stuff.

1:30:13 Drew How did you know about that? Well, it's not amends. It's talking about things you're ashamed of. So he's ashamed of this.

1:30:19 Caller Well, because he comes over a lot and he ended up leaving some of the stuff here.

1:30:23 Drew Some of the four-step written, four-step work?

1:30:25 Caller And I read it.

1:30:26 Caller Oh.

1:30:28 Adam What a mess.

1:30:30 Drew It's like reading his diary.

1:30:31 Adam He didn't tell you. You snooped.

1:30:34 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:30:35 Adam Now you deserve the warts.

1:30:37 Caller No, no. I don't know. Am I going to get it now from just having sex with him?

1:30:41 Drew Well, you should assume so, yeah.

1:30:44 Adam You've got to get yourself checked out.

1:30:45 Drew You've got to get checked. There's a very, very high likelihood if he still has it, which remains to be seen.

1:30:51 Caller I mean, is they carable or no?

1:30:52 Drew No. Well, about a certain percentage of these will get better by themselves after about five years or so to go away. And those are the ones that aren't as problematic. The ones that stay with you and may stay with you forever are the ones that seem to increase the risk of cervical cancer. Whatever it is, you need to get at least annual, probably biannual pap smears.

1:31:10 Adam Here's the deal. You probably don't have it.

1:31:13 Drew How do you figure that? He said, I feel guilty I've given her the warts.

1:31:16 Adam Did he say given or that he had sex with?

1:31:18 Drew He has warts and he had sex without a condom.

1:31:19 Adam He didn't say given or the warts.

1:31:21 Drew Why would he feel ashamed and worried about them?

1:31:23 Adam He's ashamed of his warts. Here's what I'm saying. Go get checked out. Don't freak out. Check out.

1:31:32 Drew So says Adam. And, emigre.

1:31:36 Adam Coke, toke or poke, nobody rides for free. Those are my two bumper stickers. All right.

1:31:43 Drew Yeah.

1:31:43 Adam We'll be back.

1:31:44 Caller Hello. This is your radio. Love Line will be right back.

1:31:53 Drew Oh my God.

1:31:55 Adam All right.

1:31:55 Drew Oh my God.

1:31:56 Adam I'll tell you what, Drew. It takes all kinds. It takes all kinds.

1:32:00 Drew I'm afraid so.

1:32:01 Adam I would like to hear. Here's the three things I'd like to make a comeback. And you kids can help me do this. And I know a lot of you don't know what stuff means. No, I'll drop that. I'd like you to say, shake your head and say, it takes all kinds. You see a guy take a spill on a skateboard or some guy go by him with an aggressive piercing or a mohawk. It takes all kinds. That's what you say. It's something that used to be around.

1:32:24 Drew To the tune of.

1:32:25 Adam When someone is going fast, I like you to refer to them as booking. That guy's booking. He's booking.

1:32:31 Drew He is booking.

1:32:32 Adam You can be substituted with booking, but I like booking. Booking. Oh, he's booking.

1:32:37 Drew I booked.

1:32:37 Adam Cops chasing the dude. The dude was booking down the street, turned the corner. Cops were booking too.

1:32:42 Drew Well, that's how you got here. Now you booked.

1:32:43 Adam I was booking. And to the tune of.

1:32:46 Drew Yeah, to the tune of. You were booking to the tune of 60 miles an hour.

1:32:50 Adam Yeah, it's better with a monetary thing. Oh, it's a money thing. How much, the IRS shows your rebate. What? To the tune of $5,500. Okay. Booking to the tune of, and it takes all kinds. Work that in over the 4th of July, everybody, please. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo. You do understand you're suffering from white trash-nism, right?

1:33:15 Caller Oh, God, I know.

1:33:17 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, July 2, 2001