Episode 1000754886915

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:14 Voiceover Hey, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's my friend, partner, and sometimes a lover. Dr. Drew over there. Not lately. No, no, no. He's been on his period. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. And tonight we will take a whole s-load of phone calls. Tenille?

1:40 Hi.

1:40 Adam Hey, you're 25. What's up?

1:42 Caller Well, I took the morning after pill yesterday. I took the first cycle at 10 a.m. and the second cycle at 10 p.m. And then this evening around 6 o'clock, I started having this really horrible pain above my left hip. And then all of a sudden, I started having really severe cramping. I'm not bleeding or anything, but it's worse than any pain that I've ever had with menstrual cramps.

2:04 Adam Hmm.

2:05 Drew Interesting. Have you been nauseated or anything?

2:08 Caller No, not at all. No stomach cramps, no nothing.

2:11 Drew Were you on the pill recently?

2:13 Caller No, uh-uh.

2:13 Drew And have you ever had a birth control pill before?

2:16 Caller When I was a teenager.

2:17 Drew And nothing like this happened then?

2:19 Caller No, no problems at all. And I had, I used to have really severe cramping between the time that I had my first child and my second child. And I had my second child eight months ago.

2:29 Drew Did the cramping feel like this?

2:31 Caller Yeah.

2:32 Drew Okay. And when does your period do?

2:34 Caller Not for another two weeks.

2:35 Drew Well.

2:36 Adam What's up with the birth control?

2:39 Caller Married and had an accident.

2:42 Drew Married and had an accident?

2:43 Caller Yeah.

2:44 Drew Good. And she had the fire extinguisher later on.

2:46 Adam That's right. Do you guys use condoms?

2:49 Caller Yes.

2:50 Adam Why don't you get on the pill?

2:52 Caller I take a medication called Tegretol. It's an anticonvulsant. And typically they put me on really high levels of birth control pills. And even then it's not guaranteed by any large percentage to work because the Tegretol counteracts the birth control pill.

3:08 Adam So does the morning after pill work with the Tegretol?

3:10 Caller I have no idea, but it's worth it.

3:12 Drew Maybe that should.

3:13 Adam Why would it work if the birth control is not working?

3:16 Drew Well, again, birth control pill is supposed to be close to 100% effective. Probably knocking down to around 95% with the Tegretol.

3:23 Caller And I had preeclampsia this last time. I was in the hospital for three weeks and almost died with my second child. She was nine weeks early and was in NICU for five weeks. So I'm really concerned about having another baby.

3:34 Drew Sure. I just think you're going to have a little mid-cycle bleeding here and that's probably what the cramping is all about. I wouldn't worry about it.

3:39 Caller You think it could just, so I shouldn't be worried about going to the doctor?

3:42 Drew Well, the one thing, I guess if you get bleeding, God, it's kind of a tricky question because the one thing this could be is an ectopic pregnancy, and the morning after pill wouldn't really do anything to affect or change or prevent an ectopic pregnancy.

3:58 Adam Yeah, but that's when the baby gets lodged in the tube or something.

4:02 Drew Right, and if she had already ovulated.

4:04 Adam She just had the sex a couple of days ago.

4:07 Drew That's what I'm going through in my head as well as possibly the case. Let's see if she bleeds tomorrow. Should she be worried about that?

4:12 Adam You know, she's a 25 year old woman. You know what I was thinking? You know how I always talk about what trouble the vagina is?

4:18 Drew Oh yeah.

4:19 Adam I think the equivalent on a male, on a 25 year old male, it'd be like having an 80 year old man's knee.

4:29 Drew Yeah, a paraplegia.

4:31 Adam Not just a part, one part from an old person that needed constant upkeep. Because, you know what I mean? It's like you have a very, you know, the female body, not that much different than the male body. Everything's fine. And then there's that one part, constant attention. It'd be like you having, like the elbow and hand of an 85 year old person.

4:56 Drew Give yourself an 80 year old's prostate. Now you're, it's game on. They always say you don't want a female genital tract before the age of 15. You don't want a male's after 50.

5:04 Adam Yeah.

5:05 Drew Got it?

5:06 Adam Right. That's why I'm going for the sex change at 50.

5:09 Drew Nice.

5:10 Adam Jessica?

5:10 Uh, hello?

5:11 Adam You're 19?

5:12 Caller Yeah.

5:13 Adam What's up?

5:14 Um, Alex.

5:15 Caller What?

5:16 My husband's on the line too. Or like, we've been like separated for a while, like probably four months already. And, um, we've been like, we're having like problems and like, they're just kind of getting, I guess, worse.

5:28 Drew What's the nature of the problems?

5:30 Adam Trust.

5:31 Trust.

5:31 Adam I see. What's, what's the husband's name?

5:35 Alex.

5:36 Adam Alex.

5:37 Caller Yeah.

5:37 Drew Somebody cheated?

5:39 Caller She has. Multiple times.

5:41 Drew Multiple times?

5:41 No. This was before we were married, okay?

5:45 And he cheated also.

5:47 Adam I see.

5:48 Three years ago.

5:49 Drew Why is that all coming back now?

5:51 No, because she just did it recently, like in August.

5:53 Adam I see. Oh, please.

5:55 After we got married.

5:56 Not even, okay? I didn't even, dude, I didn't even have sex with that, or I didn't even freaking kiss him, okay? It was...

6:01 Caller No, but still.

6:02 It was nothing. Okay.

6:03 Adam Was some sort of thing on the computer or something?

6:06 Caller Phone. Phone.

6:07 Adam And what, what did you find out, Alex?

6:10 Caller Oh, I was just talking to another guy and that was it. And she thwarted me up and down. She wasn't, but she was. And what else am I supposed to, I mean, I questioned everything else.

6:19 Adam Yeah.

6:20 Drew I mean, the fact that she lied about that suddenly, everything's a lie.

6:22 Caller Yeah, exactly.

6:23 Adam Well, what was she doing on the phone with the guy?

6:26 She was just talking to the guy.

6:27 Caller I don't know.

6:28 Adam Well, who was the guy?

6:29 Caller Oh, I don't know. I don't know who it was.

6:30 I never really found out.

6:31 Caller I mean, I'm not the one to get obsessed and look for the guy, you know?

6:35 Adam You got a little energy to you, though, Alex.

6:37 What's that?

6:38 Drew Normal 19-year-old energy, though.

6:39 Adam Well, how old is Alex?

6:41 Caller 20.

6:42 Adam 20. All right. Oh, yeah. So, Jessica. Who is the guy you were talking to?

6:48 He was just somebody I met over the phone.

6:50 Drew You met over the phone?

6:51 Yeah.

6:51 Drew What, a party line or something?

6:52 Caller Yeah, I was like a party line.

6:53 Caller He was looking for it.

6:54 Drew Why are you guys married?

6:56 Caller What?

6:57 Drew Why did you guys get married in the first place?

7:00 Because I love him.

7:02 Adam Yeah, you love him in the party line.

7:04 Drew Yeah, why don't you behave like you love him?

7:06 Caller It wasn't like that, like it wasn't, it was just me and my friend called one day, it was like nothing though, I wasn't looking for anyone or anything like that.

7:14 Adam Oh, okay, but with your dicey past and Alex and his dicey past and all the trouble you guys have had, don't you think you should just stay away from things like that in general?

7:24 Caller Yeah, yeah, I mean I totally regret it, you know, I really do, but I don't think he would forgive me for that.

7:32 Adam Okay, well, let's forgive her, Alex, because it didn't really amount to anything, and as guys we all know the proof is in the pudding, I mean it's the bottom line.

7:40 Caller That's true, but what about like, she's lied about that, what does...

7:43 Drew No, you're not, you're just, you know what she has?

7:47 Caller No, he thinks I do, but it's not even like that.

7:50 Caller You know what, because look at, check it out.

7:51 Caller Because I go out with my friends, he thinks I'm doing something and it's...

7:54 Caller Until one o'clock in the morning, two o'clock in the morning?

7:56 Caller Oh my God, but I haven't seen my friend.

7:57 Adam All right, hold on one second, hold on, hold on. I'm going to put them both on hold for one second. Please listen, everyone, and understand why you do not get married at 19 or 20.

8:09 Drew There it is. There it was.

8:11 Adam You'd be having the same lame argument at age 20, wouldn't you, Drew?

8:15 Drew Yeah, I probably did with a girlfriend.

8:18 Adam That's right.

8:18 Drew Yeah.

8:19 Adam With yourself in the future on the phone or just... No, I see. Okay, I was confused for one second there. Alex, Jessica? Yeah. Okay, let's just calm down for a second. Are there any children here? No. Okay, good.

8:33 Drew All right.

8:34 Adam Good. Okay, so here's your plan.

8:37 Drew The world is safe.

8:38 Adam Your plan is not to have any children for a little while, right? Until you guys get good with your relationship. Yeah. And then start working at the relationship just like it was anything else you wanted to be good at.

8:54 Drew Jessica, is Alex available in the way that you sort of need a husband to be available?

8:57 No. Honestly, no.

8:58 Drew So that's sort of the reason why you're straying, huh? So he doesn't sort of meet your emotional needs?

9:04 Huh?

9:04 Drew Is there something he could do to make you happier?

9:07 Caller More attention.

9:08 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

9:09 Caller Live together, maybe?

9:10 Caller Yeah. We don't live together. You know, we've been split up for four months.

9:13 Adam Really? Why?

9:15 Caller And it's just, I mean, I'm really getting tired of it, you know, and I mean, I do understand because I don't have a job, you know, I understand that, but I don't want, you know, to just, I don't know, like, to get back together and things still be the same. I don't want that. I want things to change.

9:31 Caller No, I don't want that.

9:32 Caller We both, I guess we both don't want it, okay.

9:34 Adam So you guys separated after you were married.

9:37 Caller Yeah.

9:38 Adam And you're now living on your own or Jessica?

9:41 Caller I want to go with their mom.

9:42 Drew Maybe, maybe you guys honestly ought to look at each other and say, maybe we're not up for a relationship now. We may not just be up for it. I mean, because, well, maybe, because both of you seem sort of okay with the fact that you don't want to be the way you were and yet you don't know how to get from where you are to where you need to be and that may just be 10 years of maturity. It may just be living for a little while to get you guys to figure out how to be available, how to be a separate person in a relationship.

10:04 Adam Why don't you give them some ground rules and a book to read and we'll move on. Have you got anything? I mean, look, you two are both a pain in the ass. You both have energy, right? And when you two get together, you got two pains in the ass under the same roof and there's going to be trouble. And both of you are going to have to work real hard on yourselves. Right now, you're both working on each other and each other doesn't really like each one of you working on them. You just work on yourself. Alex, you be a better husband. Jessica, you be a better wife.

10:39 Drew Or not. Or not.

10:42 Adam But if you want the relationship, then work at it.

10:45 Drew Yeah. It's very simple.

10:46 Adam And I'm with them staying separated for a little while until they get their ass together and definitely no kids.

10:52 Drew Oh, yeah.

10:56 Keddy.

10:57 Adam All right, Keddy. You're 22. What's up?

11:00 Caller Well, I mean, I've checked out a couple of websites about like a penis enlargement pump. And I know how it works, but I was just kind of wondering. They don't say anything about maybe the long term effect. If there's something negative, that could be a long term effect.

11:14 Drew Not that I've heard of.

11:16 Adam What's wrong with your penis?

11:18 Caller Well, I mean, I think it's OK, but, you know, I'd kind of like to have something like, you know, Peter North had slapping around, you know.

11:25 Adam I see. Drew, you know Peter North?

11:27 Drew No.

11:28 Adam The Decorator?

11:28 Drew Oh, I see. Yeah.

11:29 Adam You see, Pornstar?

11:31 Drew He's a cake maker? Oh, Pornstar, I see.

11:33 Adam Yes. How big's your penis now?

11:37 Caller Six and a half inches.

11:39 Adam Oh, no. Wait a minute. That's bigger than average. You're fine.

11:43 Caller Yeah, but I don't think I...

11:46 Drew What's wrong with your self-esteem that you got to inflate your penis instead of working on your self-esteem?

11:52 Caller Um, well, some problems. I'm not really sure what I should do about it.

11:59 Drew What are the problems?

12:01 Caller Well, I just don't really approach women that much.

12:05 Drew What do you do for a living?

12:07 Caller If I said, well, I just got out of college, but if I said what I did, I mean, everyone would know who I was that was listening.

12:15 Drew What kind of thing do you do?

12:16 Adam He's the town candlestick maker.

12:21 Caller I work in criminal justice.

12:22 Drew All right. So, do you feel good about your job?

12:27 Caller It's a tough job, but yeah, I do it pretty well. I feel good about the work that I do and the effort.

12:32 Drew Why can't you meet women?

12:34 Caller Well, I don't work anywhere around women, but I mean, I don't like bars and I don't like to go out.

12:40 Drew Do you have friends that can introduce you to people?

12:42 Caller I'm sorry?

12:43 Drew Do you have friends that can introduce you to people?

12:45 Caller No, they're worse than me.

12:47 Adam What do you like besides bringing down perps?

12:53 Drew I realize the size of your penis is going to do nothing, nothing for you.

12:57 Adam No, because, listen, hold on. I would be all for enlarging the penis if women knew what size your penis was before they met you.

13:06 Drew Or if size was...

13:06 Adam Or if it was before they saw it.

13:08 Drew If there was a direct relationship between size and desire, or enjoyment. There's nothing like that.

13:14 Adam But it's even further away because...

13:16 Drew Yeah, because they don't know.

13:17 Adam You're naked on top of them by the time they know what hit them.

13:21 Caller Yeah.

13:22 Adam All right. So don't focus on that. Figure out whatever it is you like to do, and do it, and meet people that way. I know it sounds trite, but that's about your only shot.

13:31 Caller I do have another question that's a little more intelligent.

13:33 Drew No, I could.

13:33 Caller I was kind of wondering about what age are you most prone to be socialized sexually, in which, because I watched pornography maybe when I was about 11 and 12 years old, and I saw some things I would rather have never seen.

13:49 Drew Like what?

13:49 Caller Well, I mean anal sex performed. I don't want to ever disrespect a girl by doing that, but someone that I really care about, I wouldn't want to ask her to do that, and I am somewhat attracted to it, and I was just kind of wondering.

14:09 Adam All right, listen. Keri, stop thinking so much. Just go out and live your life. Join a gym and go rollerblading, go to the park, go hang out at a Starbucks. Stop creeping everyone out and thinking everyone. I don't know what it is with young guys, but the more thinking you do, the less of a poon tang you'll get. There's a direct correlation there. And he's just thinking himself into a corner.

14:38 Drew He's got a little creepy vibe about him.

14:40 Adam Oh, yes. And let me tell you, boys, women pick up on that creep vibe.

14:45 Drew Well, it's kind of desperation mixed with in this lack of experience.

14:52 Adam Mixed with, I'm going to duct tape your mouth and throw you in the trunk of my car and take you out to the woods and dismember you.

14:58 Drew Yeah, the business of that, I would never want to soil a lady yet. I kind of find it very appealing.

15:03 Adam Yeah. Here's the other...

15:07 Drew I want my penis to be extra large at the time, which would perpetrate that.

15:10 Adam Yeah.

15:11 Drew Oh, my God.

15:13 Adam The thing about women I found is they don't smell the BS gene that much. I mean, they don't smell BS on a guy.

15:19 Drew No, in fact, they kind of attracted to BS.

15:22 Adam Yes. Ladies, you like BS. You'll never admit it because you don't know when a guy's BSing. We know the BS guys, a lot of attitude, hair all. Any guy who screws with his hair too much or wears too much jewelry.

15:37 Drew Any guy that can pull off the romantic piece too smoothly.

15:41 Adam Or just a serious attitude thing.

15:43 Drew Yeah, but that's the obvious one. That's what even bugs me.

15:45 Adam But women buy into the BS, but the creepy thing, that they see.

15:52 Drew Creep, desperation, lack of experience.

15:54 Adam That's what Teddy's got in spades. Sam?

15:58 Hello?

15:58 Adam You're 24, what's up?

16:01 Caller Well, me and my girlfriend were having sex, and she wanted to use a strap-on on me, and her sister had one, so she went and got it.

16:17 Drew Just stop right there for a second.

16:19 Caller Okay.

16:20 Drew Adam, isn't that part of the story kind of amusing? Hey, Susie.

16:25 Adam I'm guessing she didn't ask. I'm guessing she just knew where it was hidden.

16:28 Drew But even, hey, I got an idea. Let's use Susie's.

16:32 Adam Well, some families are poor, and they don't have more than one strap-on.

16:35 Drew Okay.

16:36 Adam We had one car, one bathroom.

16:38 Drew One strap-on.

16:39 Adam One strap-on.

16:40 Drew I understand.

16:40 Adam Times were tight.

16:42 Caller Well, all she had was a vibrator. Anyway, so she went and got it, and afterwards, the last, I would say, two weeks, I've kind of been like, itchy there. Where?

16:57 Adam Okay. Well, wait a minute. Hold on. Did she have the strap-on, or was it just-

17:01 Caller Yeah, she went and got it.

17:02 Drew No, no.

17:03 Adam All the sister had was a vibrator.

17:05 Drew No, all this girl had was a vibrator.

17:07 Caller All of it she had was a vibrator.

17:08 Drew Yes, all of the sister had was a vibrator.

17:09 Adam Of the owner of the strap-on is what I meant.

17:11 Caller Yeah.

17:13 Caller Okay, anyway, ever since then.

17:17 Drew What is your question? I got the itchy piece.

17:20 Adam What did she do with the strap-on when you were done with it? Put it back?

17:24 Caller Yeah, she washed it off and put it back.

17:26 Adam Sweet.

17:27 Drew With a letter, thank you.

17:29 Adam A rose. Is she still living at home?

17:32 Caller No. All right.

17:34 Adam Does she live with her sister? Yeah.

17:37 Caller Okay.

17:37 Adam Those two need to be separated.

17:39 Drew Yes. How old is the sister?

17:42 Slightly older.

17:43 Drew Way, way older, is that what we said?

17:44 Adam Slightly.

17:45 Caller No, like five years.

17:46 Drew How old is your girlfriend?

17:49 Caller She's 20.

17:53 Adam So now you itch in the butt area?

17:56 Caller Yeah. And so what I was asking is like, do you think that I like caught something here or what?

18:03 Drew Is that an activity you've engaged in in the past? Is this the first time you've sort of experienced the?

18:07 Caller Um, this is the first time that I've experienced.

18:09 Drew Is your girlfriend into this stuff?

18:12 Caller Yeah, dude.

18:13 Adam Apparently runs in the family. And God knows where that thing was parked before it got to your ass. Probably the sister's boyfriend's ass.

18:22 Caller Exactly. That's totally where she got the idea.

18:24 Adam Okay. And no qualms about forcing something up your rectum that was up some other guy's ass just moments earlier?

18:32 Caller I wasn't reasoning all that out.

18:34 Adam Okay. Well, forget about reasoning. How about cleaning?

18:37 Drew Yeah.

18:38 Adam I mean, did you give it a good wiping down before it went up in there?

18:43 Drew Um, well, no, actually, I'm less concerned about a venereal disease because that's not likely.

18:48 Adam It wouldn't live on it, right?

18:50 Drew However, no, no, no, no. Wait a minute. The traditional sort of classical venereal diseases. However, hepatitis C and HIV require very special cleansing solutions like glutaraldehyde where they stay on there.

19:06 Adam They're not going to stay there and stay alive. Please, for how long?

19:10 Drew Listen, like when people use those endoscopes and things, they have to be very specially cleaned even though they're going to be used for a week later.

19:16 Adam They overdo it. But if this thing's dry and it's sitting in a closet and a hamper up in some shelf somewhere, it's not going to have that.

19:23 Drew But the point is, I think you've got some called pruritus anii and it's probably just a hemorrhoid, that kind of thing, and it's just irritation. You get some anusol cream over the counter and that's that.

19:33 Adam Did she use a lot of lube?

19:35 Caller Yeah.

19:35 Adam Did you borrow some of her sister's lube or did she use her own?

19:38 Caller Her own.

19:40 Drew Oh my God. I just, I can't even fathom.

19:42 Adam Sam, please do not have children. Okay?

19:47 Caller Okay.

19:48 Adam All right. And for Hanukkah, see if you can get a nice strap on for yourself. Okay, buddy. All right. Good times.

19:56 Drew Oh my God. His mom.

19:58 Adam I think he was serious too.

19:59 Drew Yeah, I know.

20:00 Adam Justin?

20:01 Caller Yeah.

20:02 Adam You're 17?

20:03 Caller Yeah.

20:03 Adam What's up?

20:05 Caller Me and my friends pulled a prank on this guy, one of our friends. We put an orthotrysolic and cyclin pill in his drink and we haven't talked to him in like a week, so we don't know if he's okay or not.

20:17 Drew Just think, is there a female on Earth that pulls this kind of JO stuff on their friends?

20:23 Adam Putting birth control.

20:24 Drew Or whatever.

20:27 Adam I know, I don't think so.

20:27 Drew Although that last caller's girlfriend probably had a little bit of that spirit in her, I must admit.

20:31 Adam Yeah.

20:31 Drew One with the sort of saucy sister.

20:34 Adam Women don't have the jack-off gene. They have the stab in the back gene, but not the jack-off gene.

20:39 Drew Yeah.

20:40 Adam All right.

20:41 Drew He got a little nauseated, but that's about it.

20:44 Adam He's fine.

20:44 Drew Single pill?

20:46 Caller Yeah, I think so.

20:47 Adam You got to up the dose next time.

20:49 Caller He's a blue one.

20:49 Drew He probably vomited and forgot about it, didn't know anything about it. All right?

20:54 Caller Yep.

20:54 Adam All right, Justin.

20:55 Caller Thanks. Hey, Adam, you're awesome, dude.

20:58 Adam Thanks.

20:58 Caller Man show's awesome.

20:59 Drew What part of Texas are you calling from?

21:01 Caller Huh?

21:02 Drew What part of Texas are you calling from?

21:03 Caller Dallas.

21:04 Adam Good times. Drew, why are you thumping your chest? Really?

21:08 Drew I get palpitations as well.

21:09 Adam You do? What is thumping your rib cage to?

21:12 Drew Makes it stop.

21:13 Adam It does? Yeah. Just because you know you're doing it?

21:17 Drew No, I wasn't even aware I was doing it. If it hadn't brought to my attention, I wouldn't have.

21:20 Adam What happens? What's a palpitation? Your heart gets going?

21:23 Drew Just the extra beats, yeah.

21:24 Adam Hmm. You anxious?

21:25 Drew No.

21:26 Adam Horny?

21:26 Drew Coffee.

21:27 Adam Dry mouth?

21:28 Drew Yeah.

21:28 Adam All right, dry your pants. Get in your underpants. I'll look at you in an hour. Lizzie? You're 22. What's up?

21:37 Caller Yeah. I was raped like, I guess, like month, end of March. And I really haven't had any response to it. I haven't reacted to it. I'm not traumatized by it. Like I went like two days after it happened. My parents kind of, my mom took me to like this spa in Arizona. I was there. Like she left. I was there by myself. Like she came and visited me sometimes. But like for like a couple of weeks, then my dad has, he does business in New York and he's got a condo there. Like I was there and like my aunt took me shopping.

22:14 Adam All right. Well, hold on. I don't want to go through your entire day planner, but hold on. We get the picture. Everything you didn't, you didn't just went on with it. You didn't freak out. Right.

22:24 Caller But so like I've been back in my regular routine now for like only like two weeks.

22:29 Caller And well, who raped you?

22:32 Caller It was random. I was jogging and I was, it was random. Like he jumped me.

22:37 Caller Wow.

22:38 Caller And it was like, he pulled me into a parking garage that was under construction, happened to be part of the hospital and security guard found me unconscious.

22:47 Adam Really? They, did they whack you in the head or something?

22:50 Caller I, when he threw me down my head, must have, cause I had to get stitches in my head and like.

22:56 Drew So you weren't awake for the rape?

22:57 Caller Parts of it. I remember him repping, he had his hand, I think, I don't know if it was cause of my head or I blacked out cause he had his hand like right at my neck to hold me down, like he was, I was flat on my back and he like was bracing himself like right at my neck with one hand.

23:15 Drew How long before you went unconscious after he attacked you?

23:19 Caller Oh god, I don't know. I think I remember him penetrating me.

23:23 Drew No, wait a minute, he attacked you and then quickly you were unconscious or did you admit?

23:27 Caller I was jogging, he grabbed me hand over my face and pulled me in, and that's all blurry and then I remember hitting the ground.

23:37 Drew So within a few seconds you were unconscious?

23:40 Caller No, probably minutes.

23:41 Drew Minutes.

23:42 Caller From where I was running and where I was found, it's not, I mean they weren't like close. He had dragged me through like-

23:49 Drew All right, hang on a second. I would think just that assault would be so traumatizing as to give you a post-traumatic stress reaction. Okay. Now the only way that I know that people, there's two ways that people sort of go on with things when traumatic, highly arousing, traumatizing experiences aren't sort of processed as something special is one, you're used to being traumatized.

24:11 Caller Oh, God, no.

24:12 Drew Okay. Or two, you're really, really suppressing it.

24:15 Adam Or three, they get into acting and show business, right?

24:18 Drew And this will come out. I mean, there will be a reaction to this.

24:21 Caller Well, that's what I'm afraid of.

24:22 Adam All right. Well, you gotta get some help before it comes out and catches you off guard.

24:27 Caller My parents' attitude about this whole thing is, I think, like, you're okay.

24:32 Drew Well, that's how they want to believe it is.

24:34 Caller And, like, it's the same thing with my friends. Like, my mom had specifically said to me, like, oh, if, you know, they ask you how you're doing, like, just say you're fine. Because I had to, I was supposed to graduate in May at the beginning of this month.

24:47 Drew What school?

24:48 Caller I'm supposed to graduate, sorry, in June.

24:50 Drew What school?

24:51 Caller Northwestern. And I am not graduating because it happened over my spring break and I didn't go back for the last trimester. So I'm not graduating. So is there something to be explained, which I don't know what my parents told me.

25:04 Drew Well, look, look.

25:05 Caller I kind of live in this, like, high society crap.

25:08 Drew Okay, but listen.

25:09 Caller Sorry, sorry.

25:09 Drew You need to get yourself a therapist. Relax. You're okay. You're normal. Thank God you come into this with an intact sort of psyche and you will get through this. But you need the opportunity to get through it. And everybody else doesn't want to feel the pain of acknowledging what you've been through. And that's fine. That's them. But you need an opportunity to have the feelings.

25:31 Caller I, yeah, my parents, like, I don't, how do I find or get into therapy without, not without telling my parents, but, like, kind of do the preliminary work.

25:40 Drew Yeah, but Northwestern has an elaborate student health system. Why don't you take advantage of that?

25:43 Caller I haven't been, like, back there. I don't know.

25:45 Drew Well, you're in Chicago now still, right?

25:47 Caller Well, yeah, I'm north of Chicago, yeah.

25:49 Adam Well, why don't we go back there?

25:51 Drew Get back in and get involved regularly with some treatment. I'm sure there are rape support groups, too. Get a group experience and an individual experience. It would be very, very helpful.

25:59 Adam All right. And you can be one of the...

26:01 Drew Sorry, I'm sorry I just went through that. That's the real McCoy.

26:05 Adam Yeah, that's what I was saying. I mean, you can be one of the few people in your rape support group who is bonafide, raped, I mean, you know, jogging. Why is it everyone who was not raped by their boyfriend or that sort of date rape thing?

26:21 Drew It was raped in an urban park. Jogging.

26:24 Adam Jogging.

26:24 Drew In Central Park or along the Lake of Chicago.

26:26 Adam Yes. If I have a daughter, I will forbid her from jogging. I would tell her she can walk or she can sprint. Apparently, if you're walking, you cannot be raped. And if you're at a full blown sprint, you can't be raped. It's the jogging that attracts the rapist.

26:43 Drew Interesting.

26:44 Adam I'm going to work on that, Derek. Thank you.

26:46 Drew Strong work.

26:46 Adam Thank you. We'll be back. Loveline, everybody. That's the radio show. There's Drew. I'm Adam. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-E-191. And let's get back to phones and speak to Ryan. Hello. Hey, Ryan, you're 14. What's up?

27:07 Drew Hey, Brian, wait a second. You know, when Rob was last year, last time, he said something that was rather striking. He said that he read our relationships book. It was the best book he'd ever read on relationships. Remember that?

27:19 Adam No. No, now that you say it, it sounds sort of familiar. But no, I would never remember a compliment like that. I only remember bad things people say to me.

27:28 Drew Yeah, of course. All right, Ryan, go ahead.

27:30 Caller Yeah.

27:30 Drew You're right. I shouldn't mention good things.

27:32 This girl at school, I really like her.

27:34 Caller And she, she's like, she like considers me like her brother. And she's like, oh, Ryan, you're so sweet, so funny.

27:43 Like, oh, that means she, like, doesn't think of me as like a guy.

27:50 Caller She doesn't like.

27:50 Drew Does she have boyfriends?

27:52 What?

27:52 Drew Does she see other guys?

27:54 Caller Yeah, but not now.

27:55 Drew Why don't you ask her out?

27:58 I'm like scared.

28:00 Drew Well, then you're going to stay the brother. Ain't going to happen any other way.

28:07 Is there any way I can like change that before I have to ask her out?

28:11 Adam Your brother status?

28:13 Yeah.

28:13 Drew Now this is an interesting male trait, isn't it?

28:17 Adam Yeah.

28:17 Drew Can we work on her? Can we tool her up in the shed somehow? You know what I mean?

28:23 Adam Yeah. Reprogram her.

28:25 Drew But it all happens at sort of a fantasy level. It's like, well, magically.

28:28 Adam Yeah.

28:28 Drew I'll sprinkle, so I'll see a few chants on her and-

28:30 Adam Well, this is really the genesis of Spanish fly. Yeah.

28:35 Drew This is the beginning of that.

28:36 Adam Can I sprinkle something into her drink or food that is going to make her like me?

28:41 Drew Yep.

28:42 Adam Or the guy's version of Love Potion, make her horny. Yeah. Ryan? Yeah. It's not going to work. How long have you known her?

28:50 Since like preschool.

28:52 Caller And now I just like-

28:53 Adam Preschool?

28:54 Caller Yeah. And like-

28:55 Drew Are you in a small school or something?

28:57 Caller I'm pretty small. It's a private school.

28:59 Drew Yeah. I see. See, I think there's a lot of mixing and matching in those little populations that stay together for many, many years. I think he could just ask her out.

29:07 Adam She's your age? She's in your grade?

29:09 Caller Yeah.

29:10 Adam What is that, eighth or ninth grade?

29:12 Caller Yeah, eighth.

29:13 Adam Eighth grade.

29:13 Caller Yeah.

29:14 Adam Yeah.

29:15 Drew I remember this.

29:16 Adam Oh, man. I was paralyzed.

29:18 Drew Really, truly.

29:19 Adam I was so paralyzed.

29:20 Drew It's like, Ryan, I hate to say this, but at that stage of my life, it's like I didn't have... It's like I was a car trying to run without an engine. You know what I mean? I just didn't have anything going on that I could...

29:32 Adam I had no engine. I had no tranny.

29:34 Drew No wheels.

29:35 Adam I had no rear end.

29:35 Drew No wheels.

29:36 Adam No wheels. No doors. No fenders. I was just a frame. Barely.

29:42 Caller Yeah. I don't even know what's going on.

29:43 Adam Well, look, Ryan.

29:45 Drew It's normal, Ryan. Here's the good news.

29:46 Adam Here's what I'd like to do.

29:47 Drew You'll be a big star like Adam someday.

29:49 Adam I know it'll... Well, let's not go overboard. I'm literally a millionaire, as you know, Drew. Ryan? Yeah? I'm going to try something on you, and I hope it works. And if not for you, some other youngster listening. I give this speech about every three years. I think it's high time I give it again. All right. I'm giving you oral sex starting now. Ready? Go. Now, and Drew, I, I, Drew, you're a doctor. You're considered a genius by most, except for me, who really knows you. I want you to chime in if you find any fault.

30:25 Drew I know where you're going.

30:26 Adam With anything that I say.

30:27 Drew I already know where you're going.

30:28 Adam All right. You stop me if you hear anything you don't like.

30:30 Drew Okay.

30:31 Adam Anything that you can find fault with. All right.

30:34 Drew You won't yell at me.

30:34 Adam And I will not yell. All the things that you do in the eighth grade, the ninth grade, even all the way through high school socially do not amount to a hill of beans outside of high school. Now, if you kill somebody, if you get somebody pregnant, if you rape somebody, if you do something horrible to someone or let someone do something horrible to you. Yes, that counts. But all of the jockeying, all of the asking out, all of I think she likes me, but I'm too scared to say anything. It registers as a zero in your adult life, a zero.

31:12 Drew Even though it is so powerful to you now, when you were able to step back and look at it, you'll think, did I waste time and energy? And why?

31:20 Adam It is like you seeing a giant inflatable wonder dog in a Macy's parade and being scared assless of it at age three years old and then realizing it's just a bunch of fabric and air and some helium. Okay? Ryan, if you ask her out or don't ask her out or half ask her out, it will not make a difference in the next few months, few years or the rest of your life.

31:51 Drew However?

31:52 Adam However, if you spend too much of your life not asking people out, then you'll just be a pathetic male adult living in a one bedroom apartment using one of those plug-in stoves, one of those hot plates, heating cans of beans still in the can, George Foreman's grill, and eating it right out of it with a spork that you got from IHOP. But so you ask her out tomorrow, do you hear me?

32:18 Drew Right, it is important.

32:19 Adam You ask her out. Quiet down, Drew. Quiet, I'm on a roll.

32:22 Drew No, he said no yelling.

32:24 Adam All right, I'm yelling at Ryan. You ask her out on a date tomorrow. And you will thank us. And you know what? I'm going to take it a step further. If you ask her out on a date tomorrow and she says no, you'll still be better off than where you are today.

32:42 Drew Yes. If she says absolutely not, you'll gain the skill.

32:44 Adam That's right. If she says absolutely not, I wouldn't do it in a million years, you will still be better off than you are today.

32:51 Drew And those are the two important, three important things, really. The goals of you, A, to build some esteem, two, build some skill, social skills, and three, try to enjoy adolescence as much as it's humanly possible, which is not very much.

33:04 Adam Did I forget the part about drinking the sixer of Mickey's Big Mouth?

33:08 Drew No, you got that in there, yeah.

33:09 Adam Oh, okay, because that's a very crucial element to this. Brad?

33:13 Caller Yeah.

33:14 Adam You're 38?

33:15 Caller 38.

33:16 Adam What's up?

33:18 Caller I got a problem. I'm manic depressive. I've got OCD and ADD. And my deal is, well, for the past six years now, I hold in my poop. I don't go to the bathroom. And I do it deliberately. And I've talked to my doctors about it.

33:41 Adam How many years has this been going on?

33:43 About six.

33:44 Adam The poo? About six, seven years now.

33:48 Drew He has pooed across that six years. I see. He's been withholding each of the, across those years. And what do you get out of it?

33:54 Adam How does that work?

33:55 Caller Yeah. Well, I eventually go after about six days.

34:01 Drew And what do you accomplish by having to held? What do you get out of that?

34:04 Caller I don't know. I mean, I...

34:06 Drew Is there an experience, some feeling?

34:08 Adam Serious skid mark, I guess.

34:10 Caller That's what they ask me. I just say it's like a feeling almost. But I don't know why I do it. No one knows why.

34:16 Drew Well, it goes with, you know, that kind of thing goes along with OCD, right?

34:19 Adam Hang on a second, Brad. Ryan, young Ryan, I hope you're still listening. This is what happens when you don't ask girls out in junior high. You become the 38 year old OCD guy who holds his own duke in. Now, you crap like once a week?

34:35 Caller Yeah.

34:36 Adam Do you eat normally?

34:37 Caller I eat normal.

34:39 Adam And Drew, what can it do to you medically not to do this? Not to move those bounds on a regular basis. You always say that and I hate that because the only thing I do well medically is crap.

34:51 Drew But that's spiritual.

34:52 Adam That's my pride and joy.

34:53 Drew That's your spiritual connection. You understand?

34:55 Adam I'm amazingly regular.

34:57 Drew Yeah, I understand.

34:57 Adam And you say I get nothing out of that. And I know...

35:00 Drew You get your esteem built.

35:01 Adam No, I know you crap every three days and you have a jealous, vengeful ass. Rectum. Thank you. Brad? Yeah? Will your doctors have you on any medication?

35:14 Drew Oh, yeah.

35:14 Caller Not for... Not for that.

35:17 Drew For OCD, though.

35:18 Caller But I don't know. I mean, I... You know, when I have to go, I'll purposely sit in a chair and suck it up and hold it in and I'll go in my pants sometimes and...

35:30 Adam Well, you're very stubborn, aren't you? Are you able to work?

35:35 Caller I'll work, but...

35:37 Adam Where do you work?

35:38 Caller At a hotel. And sometimes I'll, you know, I'll have to sit down and hold it in and sometimes it'll get in my pants and...

35:49 Adam Yeah.

35:49 Drew Well, I don't know the specific theories as to why these kinds of behaviors develop.

35:53 Adam Have you heard about this one?

35:54 Drew Yeah. There are people that retain stool. The kids do this.

35:58 Adam I mean, isn't this a weird adolescent-type behavior?

36:01 Drew This is a... Aside from being masochistic, it's sort of a developmental arrest symptom.

36:05 Adam Anything happen to you when you were little?

36:09 Caller I had... I was... I wasn't raped or anything, but I had a sexual encounter with a 16-year-old when I was 13. He made me, you know, I can blow jobs and stuff like that.

36:26 Drew We would bet even more though.

36:27 Adam Maybe something.

36:28 Drew Yeah, more went on.

36:29 Adam All right. So, hey, Brad. Yeah. You're 38. You're not even 40 yet. How about, you know, seeing about salvaging your life? I mean, you take your medication, you know, you realize this bowel movement thing is a strange thing. How about just taking a dump when you got to take one? I mean, I know then you wouldn't. I don't want to. I know you don't want to, but I don't want to do anything. I still do something. I mean, I know I can't talk crazy people out of being crazy, but Brad, you know you're a little crazy, right? And one of the things that makes you crazy is you take a crap once a week. How about engaging in some behaviors that sane people might partake in, like crapping?

37:15 Drew It's kind of like an eating disorder, you know, that you do get something out of this, albeit dysfunctional, and it's a natural function. It's something that needs structure to it, and it really requires you letting go of that control and going ahead and having whatever feelings you're containing by going through this or whatever sorts of arousal benefits you're getting out of it, and just going at the same time every day, sitting down and letting go and being much more structured with it so you don't get in that sort of cycle of preoccupation and obsession.

37:44 Adam Hold on. I'm going to change Brad's life. Brad? Yeah? Why don't you get yourself one of those toilet seats that squirts in the ass like I got? You'll be begging to Duke.

37:52 Drew I'll never leave.

37:55 Adam You'll be camped on that toilet like Elvis. Listen, crazy guy. You take a couple of cramps a week from being sane.

38:04 Drew It's like an eating disorder.

38:05 Adam Just do it.

38:06 Drew You deserve patience.

38:07 Adam Don't coddle it. Just do it.

38:09 Drew Eat the very structured meals throughout the day.

38:11 Adam I understand.

38:11 Drew You've got to be structured with a toilet.

38:12 Adam Okay. Listen. Here's your tall order. Take a crap. How tall a order is that? Just do it, would you? I know you're nuts, but do it. Then you won't be nuts because you'll be acting sane. That's my new thing now.

38:25 Drew You're going to give that lecture again tonight?

38:26 Adam I don't care how nuts all of you are. Just act sane and you will not be nuts. You can be nuts inside, but you will not be nuts on the outside. We'll never know.

38:37 Drew You'll never know and that's what's important.

38:38 Adam That's the important thing. All right, Drew, number two?

38:41 Drew Well, number one, let's go.

38:42 Adam What do you say? Is it a little homage to Brad? See if you can squeeze one off?

38:46 Drew Together?

38:46 Adam Yes. One cheek per seat.

38:49 Drew Let's go.

38:50 You know what I'm saying, Adam?

38:53 Caller The Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

39:04 Adam Loveline, everybody. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. And let's talk to Bill, who has some advice for the pooper. Bill?

39:14 Yeah.

39:15 Adam You're 16?

39:16 Caller Yeah.

39:16 Adam You had a little poop problem in the past?

39:18 Caller Yeah, I did.

39:19 Adam That's good alliteration, Drew. What?

39:21 Drew Consonants, actually, isn't it?

39:23 Caller Yeah, I just like to let him know that if he's still listening that he should like get some help with it because I had problems with it and I went to the doctor and, you know, they had to start using enemas and getting you to drink mineral oil because, I mean, if you hold it in for a long time and then you go and it hurts really bad and it stretches out your O-ring.

39:42 Yeah.

39:43 Drew Your O-ring?

39:44 Yeah. How long?

39:47 Adam Who produces that? Is that Morton Thiokol? And how long did you go when you're, give me your best, like, how many days did you put together without a number two?

40:00 Caller I'd say at least three.

40:03 Drew Here's what I've seen, is people that abuse laxatives eventually can't go without the laxative and the bowel doesn't move normally and they can fill up so they haven't gone for days and days and days, maybe weeks sometimes. The whole thing becomes, I've even had some, I had a patient out of the colon removed.

40:21 Adam Bad times, but you say, and you've said this before, no healthier to go three times a day than someone who goes once every other day. No different.

40:34 Drew I mean, there's no syndrome associated with that, no, other than discomfort from the bowel filling up. It's purely a sort of mechanical issue.

40:43 Adam And that area is meant to hold waste.

40:46 Drew Yes, it's all it does, absorb water from waste, that's all it does. There's weird preoccupations with colon.

40:54 Adam Can't give me that one, though.

40:55 Drew Weird preoccupations.

40:56 Adam That's it.

40:57 Drew I mean, that is their soul and their spiritual and their emotional worlds need to be examined, not their colons.

41:03 Adam Yeah, that has nothing to do with plaque building up on your insides or anything.

41:07 Drew That is what I find so bizarre. We do colonoscopies, where you look through people's colons with a scope, and before that, you make them squeaky clean, because you have to be able to see every inch of the surface of their colon. You clean them out. They are not happy, healthy people. They are depleted, because they have had diarrhea for two days, and they have nothing in there.

41:25 Adam But, dude, what about all those toxins that build up inside your colon? No? Just nonsense.

41:31 Drew In fact, when Jerry from Survivor was up here, during one of the breaks, she goes, I have never been so cleansed of toxins. She was malnourished. She would have massive edema when she refed herself.

41:42 Adam Yeah.

41:44 Drew What is these toxins? What are these things? Just describe. I just want somebody to tell me one of them. What is the structure of one toxin?

41:51 Adam Please. You could have a nice bone-chilling talk with my screwball mom about the toxins building up in the blood system. Hey, I remember my mom used to talk about giving blood and getting lead out of your blood system by replacing. But hey, it makes sense. If you say, okay, you carry around seven pints of blood in you and you're living in a society where you're taking lead in via airborne particles or water or drinking, eating utensils or something, then you give some of that blood and you make new blood. You're not using the old blood. How much blood do you waste anyway if you're not bleeding?

42:30 Drew Do you waste?

42:31 Adam I mean, you still got the same blood in you?

42:32 Drew No, no, it turns over over 120 days.

42:35 Adam Oh, really? So every four months it turns over? Your entire system? Seven pints, is that what that is?

42:43 Drew Well, you're confusing the red blood cells with the fluid it flows in.

42:47 Adam Yeah.

42:48 Drew The red blood cells turn over over 120 days.

42:51 Adam Yeah, good times. Matt? Yeah? Does that all happen on one day or is it slowly?

42:57 Drew Each day.

42:58 Adam I see. It's not like an oil change. Matt, you're 16. What's up?

43:02 Caller Hey, well, I want a happy way birthday, by the way, Adam.

43:06 Adam Thanks.

43:07 Drew By the way, my birthday present to you, Adam, is not getting a birthday present.

43:10 Adam I didn't even know it is, by the way.

43:11 Drew No, no, but I just want to pay homage to our good friendship and the fact that I wouldn't dream of disturbing you with a gift. It's uncomfortable.

43:19 Adam Well, my family has joined you in your quest, by the way, and gets squat from any of those losers. Go ahead, man.

43:27 Caller All right. Well, I'm a long-time listener, first-time caller, and I love you guys show, and man show rocks.

43:34 Adam Thanks.

43:35 Caller And okay. Well, my question is, I have one big question, one little question, but the big question is, I found out, I guess fairly recently that, well, my parents have been divorced for about three years, separated for four, that the girl or the woman, my dad cheated on my mom with, and which basically broke up the marriage. He got married too without telling me. And he had dropped a couple like hints to me, or like stuff like that, like he wanted me to know, because like I'd be like talking to him, because I talked to him on a regular basis. He is like, well, with my sister, and he has two kids from a previous marriage. I'm like basically the only one that calls him on a regular basis, and you know, that he has a good relationship with. And he'd say like, yeah, I'll drop by with the check later. But my wife's kind of sick. I got to go.

44:26 Drew And why do you bother with him?

44:28 Adam He sounds like a delight, your father.

44:30 Caller Oh, he's a very, very dynamite individual.

44:33 Drew Yeah. I don't know.

44:34 Caller I really love my dad. And the thing I think the reason that I have a good relationship with him is because I don't really expect a lot out of him, because I know my dad's like not the world's greatest dad.

44:47 Drew Yeah, I mean, there's something to that, being realistic about who he is, which is a jerk. All right.

44:53 Adam He may not be in the top billion.

44:57 Caller Yeah, that's not two billion, I'd say.

44:59 Drew Well, so what's the question?

45:00 Caller Well, I want to confront him about it. About what?

45:02 Drew About his behavior?

45:04 Caller Well, I want to see if he's married, because, okay, well, another...

45:08 Drew Whatever you do, Matt, do not expect it to be a gratifying experience.

45:12 Caller Oh, I'm not...

45:13 Drew Yeah. If you just want some information, you just want an explanation, you're going to get a lot of BS probably.

45:17 Caller That's why I haven't really asked it. And another thing is that one thing my dad hasn't told me is that, well, I'm 16, my sister's 14, but in between like around 85, he got that woman pregnant and had a kid.

45:31 Adam Yeah.

45:31 Caller I got a wedlock and he lives with, he lives with, well, I guess his new wife now and that kid.

45:38 Adam Hold on. What's your dad? Is he an attorney or a car salesman?

45:42 Caller Even worse, he works at a recording studio.

45:45 Adam Oh yeah. Yeah. All right. Hey, Matt, we got to take a break.

45:51 Drew Go ahead, ask him, make sure you understand it's a fact-finding mission, not going to be an emotionally pleasing, gratifying experience.

45:57 Adam Don't expect much.

45:58 Drew Yeah. You have a realistic understanding of who your dad is. Don't expect much beyond that.

46:02 Adam For a guy who came, sprang forth from the loins of a a-hole, Matt sounds like a decent guy.

46:08 Drew Yes.

46:08 Adam All right. Hello, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Back to the phones we go. Becky.

46:30 Caller Hi. How are you guys doing?

46:31 Adam Good. You're 15. What's up?

46:33 Caller I was recently, like just a few months ago, put in two psycho hospitals for like the first time was the time to suicide and the second time was like because I didn't want to take my medication.

46:45 Adam You're insane.

46:47 Caller Hey.

46:47 Adam Hey.

46:48 Caller Yeah. And I like a month and a half ago, I stopped taking the medicine. My parents don't know. And like I'm starting to feel like, you know, the old thing is I'm starting to cut myself again and...

47:01 Drew Why don't you go ahead and get back on the medicine?

47:03 Caller Because I don't like the fact that I have to take the medication to be normal.

47:07 Drew Well, you know, people don't like having any kind of illness. It's unfortunate when you have to deal with that. And people your age that are diabetics don't like having to take insulin to stay alive. And very often they don't take their insulin. They have all kinds of awful consequences. But the fact is you have this imbalance. You got to take medicine. If you don't, you suffer. Why don't you take the medicine?

47:28 Caller Because I know even if I tell my parents that I'm not taking it, they're going to make me go on it, but they're going to put me in a psycho hospital again.

47:36 Drew Yeah, so why don't you go ahead and just take it on your own?

47:40 Caller And it's going to take another four to six weeks or whatever.

47:42 Drew Not necessarily. Sometimes you're going to kick them pretty quick.

47:45 Caller Yeah, I don't know. The first time it took over two months.

47:48 Drew What are the medicines?

47:50 Caller Wellbutrin and Depakote.

47:52 Drew Depakote takes a while oftentimes, but the Wellbutrin can be very fast acting. So go ahead. Take your medicine.

47:58 Caller Thanks a lot.

47:59 Drew All right, Becky.

48:00 Adam All right. Make good times, right?

48:02 Caller All right. Thanks.

48:03 Adam All right. Listen, everyone, take your medicine. Julie.

48:08 Caller Hi.

48:09 Adam You're 18. What's up?

48:11 Caller In my vagina, it feels like it's swollen and around my lip part.

48:16 Adam That's right.

48:17 Caller And I was wondering if that could be due to some sort of cancers or some sexually transmitted diseases.

48:22 Adam Most probably both. What?

48:25 Drew He was recently sexually active?

48:27 Caller Yes.

48:28 Drew And you started having discomfort after that sexual activity?

48:31 Caller Well, it's not that I really feel it, like physically, like a pain or anything.

48:37 Caller If I was to feel up there, it feels swollen.

48:40 Drew Why don't you go have somebody take a look so we can figure out what's going on here?

48:43 Caller Okay.

48:43 Drew And you're sexually active, right? So you go ahead and get pelvic exams regularly?

48:47 Caller No, I don't.

48:48 Drew All right. So you got to do that.

48:50 Caller Okay.

48:50 Drew You understand why that is?

48:52 Caller Why?

48:52 Drew Because women your age get cervical cancer and regular pap smears prevent that from happening. If you get cervical cancer, it's very deadly.

48:59 Caller Okay.

49:00 Drew Okay. You can prevent that from happening. Swelling could be just a vaginitis. It could be just some irritation. Could be herpes. Could be other sexually transmitted diseases. But you are not going to find out what the heck that is unless you go ahead and take a look.

49:13 Okay.

49:13 Drew All right.

49:14 Thank you.

49:14 Adam All right. Hey, good times. It works in almost every application.

49:22 Drew I like Aloha.

49:23 Adam Yeah. Aloha. Aloha. Good times.

49:26 Caller Mahalo.

49:28 Adam Well, no one does that Mahalo like Don Ho though.

49:34 Drew Sounds like he swallowed you up.

49:36 Adam Yeah. It starts to say Mahalo and then he just someone steps on his stomach after that.

49:43 Drew So I just have an image of that. That's ridiculous.

49:47 Adam Michelle.

49:48 Yeah.

49:48 Adam You're 15.

49:50 Caller I'm 17.

49:51 Drew You're 17.

49:53 Caller I'm kind of nervous.

49:54 Adam All right.

49:55 Caller But yeah, my ex-boyfriend is in prison. It's not really prison. It's like kiddie prison, you know, with doobie things. But he wrote me a letter a while ago and like a few weeks ago. And I'm really scared. I don't know if I should write him back or not.

50:09 Adam You know, what the letter say?

50:11 Caller It said he was sorry for everything he did to me because I went out with him when I was fourteen and he was really abusive and everything like he used to hit me and stuff like that.

50:19 Drew OK, that's not going to change. Not without long, long periods of treatment.

50:24 Adam Well, what if he got a tattoo of Christ while he was in the pen?

50:28 Drew You think that would get closer?

50:31 Adam How old is he now?

50:32 Caller He's the same age as me.

50:33 Drew Why would you go back in with a guy that was abusive like that?

50:36 Caller I don't want to get back with him or anything like that. I don't know, he really wanted me to write him back in the letter. It says, Please, please write me back in the letter.

50:42 Drew You're going to get sucked right on in, aren't you?

50:44 Caller That's what I'm scared of. I don't want to end up being with him again or anything like that.

50:49 Drew Yeah, well, you might as well stop now.

50:51 Adam How long is he in for?

50:53 Caller I think I said two years. I don't know what it's for though. He didn't say.

50:57 Drew So many things that people do that just happen start right here. You know what I mean? You shouldn't be going out for the coffee. You shouldn't be responding to the letters. You shouldn't be alone in the bedroom together, you know what I'm saying? It's a series of bad choices. She can make a good one right here, right now.

51:16 Adam Well, I was thinking that too, which basically the way I was looking at it, I think this is probably restating what you were saying, which is at this point, all you have to do is not return the guy's letter and you're done. This is tantamount to breaking it off with someone after one date as opposed to being with them for a month and a half.

51:39 Caller I understand that.

51:40 Adam So just don't return this one and don't even write in one of those letters that says, I'm sorry, I know what you're going through, we can't be what we were.

51:50 Drew No contact.

51:51 Adam I feel sorry for him. He'll not write you.

51:54 Caller Well, I'm just kind of, I don't know.

51:56 Drew All right, Michelle, stop. Stop. Stop now.

51:59 Adam We're telling you to stop now.

52:01 Drew Stop it. Seriously. You're going to talk yourself into that letter.

52:05 Adam You're going to take a step, a big step forward if you return that letter, and it's going to be a real slippery slope, and you may just slide down the other side and there be able to grab a branch or anything to slow yourself down after this.

52:16 Drew It's fine. He was abusive. Put it down. Forget it.

52:19 Caller But I don't want to regret not writing to him because I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.

52:24 Drew What?

52:25 Caller I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, and what happened with me and him is part of the reason I have it.

52:30 Drew Of course.

52:32 Caller I feel like I kind of need closure or something.

52:34 Drew Closure is you having the self-esteem to do something ritualistic with that letter and put it away forever.

52:41 Adam Let me tell you about closure and strength, everyone. It's about not doing anything sometimes. Not picking up the phone, not writing the letter, not throwing the rock, not ramming the car in front of you.

52:53 Drew Michelle's hell-bent on getting back with him. That's what that is, Michelle. That's what that is.

52:57 Adam Yes. You can disguise it as closure, but that's BS.

53:00 Drew It's BS.

53:01 Adam Wow, Drew.

53:04 Drew I can't stand denial, it drives me insane.

53:06 Adam It really does, doesn't it?

53:07 Drew Yeah, it does. That's not good.

53:09 Adam Why? Someone in your family steeped in denial? Most of them?

53:14 Drew Probably.

53:15 Adam Your whole family?

53:16 Drew No. I don't know what it is about denial. It's the... I don't like paranoia either.

53:21 Adam I don't like it either.

53:23 Drew You can't reason, you know what I mean? You can't find a place to connect when there's too much denial or too much paranoia. It's like it's too disconnected from reality.

53:32 Adam Uh-huh. I don't like people that take care of themselves too much or worry too much about themselves. Do you not like those people?

53:41 Caller Yes.

53:44 Adam I'm really the worst. Every time we do some nutty thing at the man show and there's somebody going, well, now shouldn't we put down some grip tape and put like, don't we need some extra lighting? Just get in there. Well, we need to get a stunt man or something. We can't have one of them. Now, just shoot them with the exploding doke. He'll be fine. He should wear protective. No, he'll be cool.

54:11 Drew What about the testicle outfit? That's going to get ruined.

54:13 Adam What do we got insurance for? He's fine. Katie?

54:16 Caller Hi.

54:17 Adam You're 15. What's up?

54:18 Caller Yeah. I haven't had my period in about eight months.

54:22 Adam You're fine. Quit complaining.

54:24 Get back in there.

54:25 Caller I just started this afternoon and I'm going through a tampon every half hour to an hour.

54:30 Drew Did they do something to start your period, like give you some medication?

54:33 Caller No.

54:34 Drew Have you seen a doctor about this?

54:36 Caller No. I just started this afternoon.

54:37 Drew You really should see someone. Not so much about the bleeding, but the degree of irregularity you're having. Are you overweight at all? A little bit. There's something called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome that actually is very important for you to know about if you have it. And it's associated with being a little overweight, a little resistant to the effects of insulin, so there's a chance of diabetes later on, and really irregular periods from multiple cysts. It's worth knowing about. And there are other things that can cause this too that should be evaluated at your age.

55:04 Adam You know what's funny about that when you ask someone if they're a little bit overweight, when they stutter for a few minutes, that's usually in the, it's ten, it's more than ten pounds overweight, because it wouldn't count that ten, and less than 40, because they would just go ahead and say they were overweight. Yeah, that's the chick who's five-eight and one-sixty-five.

55:32 Drew Which is actually perfect for PCO, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, that's part of that, that's kind of described.

55:37 Adam So it's a good thing, right?

55:39 Drew No, no.

55:40 I'm kind of like Chunky.

55:43 Adam Chunky. I love that girl. Chuck?

55:46 Drew Yeah.

55:47 Adam Chunky, you're twenty-one. What's up?

55:51 Caller I just got back from a visit from back home, Illinois, and I saw one of my old girlfriends, and I haven't dated for three years now. And when I saw her again, I fell head over heels again for her. And I'm here in California. Yeah, I don't know what to do. Is she worth moving back for or what?

56:11 Drew Why'd you break up with her in the first place?

56:14 Caller I went down to Florida for a few months, and we just lost contact.

56:17 Drew Why wasn't it something worth maintaining contact for?

56:20 Caller I tried, and she's just tough to get ahold of.

56:24 Drew Speaking of denial.

56:25 Adam Is she into you now? Well, she broke up. He moved to Florida, and she dumped him.

56:30 Drew But why now is it glorious, and then it was, whatever?

56:34 Caller I think I'm older now.

56:37 She's just good to talk to.

56:41 Caller We just hit it off for a while.

56:43 Adam What are you doing in San Diego?

56:44 Trying to make some money.

56:45 Caller Here's the deal. Cold streak.

56:48 Adam What's that? You had a tough time with the ladies in San Diego?

56:52 Caller Yeah. I've only been out here eight months.

56:56 Adam No luck. No. Yeah. If you met a chick in San Diego, you were halfway into it. You wouldn't even dream of moving back to Chicago. I mean, this is based on your desperation, not on how much she's blossomed. All right. He's got the radio up, so I'm going to hang up on him.

57:15 Drew Yeah. That's it. That's what I was getting at, too. It's amazing. When he had a lot going on, I was like, yeah, whatever. Now he's alone. He feels uncomfortable. It's like, whoa, this one's fantastic.

57:25 Adam Well, it's amazing how good anything can look when you've been denied it for a long time. A corn dog can look like a pheasant under glass if you haven't eaten in a long time.

57:39 Drew Cheese on a stick.

57:40 Adam But you know what I was thinking about? No, that is really good. You know what I was thinking about with Chuck? This would be a horrible thing to say, but you know what, Drew? We're too old to see girls we haven't seen in a while and see how they've blossomed. Do you know what I'm talking about? Guys, enjoy this because it doesn't happen when you get older. Drew, you're what, 43, 42? Right, you know, if you saw some chick you last saw when she was 23 and you see her now, it's like, oh Christ, honey, what happened? Did you get run over? What happened? Is this some accident at the plant? What the hell happened? I mean, the best you can say at our age, and I know this sounds sexist and double standard and horrible, but the best you can say is, hey, holding up pretty good. She's, she don't look like crap. That is like, that is high praise. And you don't have that when you're when you're 15, 16, 17, you're dating girl, and then you see her again at 21, 22, you're like, whoa, honey, you shed that weight, you're looking good. What happened? What did you do? Cut your hair? Oh, you got your teeth fixed? Yeah. But that don't happen later in life. So I'm just saying enjoy it. Because when I see those girls I went to high school with now, I'm like, well, I'm glad you didn't, you didn't have sex with me now.

59:02 Drew When did you see people from high school?

59:05 Adam Yeah, oh, reunions and you went to a reunion. I've been to a reunion in.

59:10 Drew I would pay to be at one of your reunions.

59:13 Adam Oh, yeah? You want to go instead of me?

59:15 Drew Is there one coming up?

59:16 Adam Well, let's see. Yeah, yeah, because I graduated 18. Yeah, I'm going to have a 20 year reunion in another year and a half or two years, something like that.

59:27 Drew Oh. I had to witness that. You and Chris and I.

59:32 Adam Yes. But let me tell you something. Anyone who's going to attend the 1982 graduating class of North Hollywood High reunion, I will be returning like MacArthur returned to the Philippines.

59:43 Drew You're going to walk way out of the ocean.

59:45 Adam I will pull up in an amphibious landing craft. I'm going to be wearing a cape and a crown. I'll have a orchestra playing as I enter. All will hail the king. See, my last reunion, I was still swinging a hammer, so it wasn't any fun. And my buddy Ray Pete on me.

1:00:02 Drew Oh, well, that was all a good time. You know, relive the past, you know.

1:00:05 Caller Sure, why not?

1:00:07 Adam I'm wearing a blazer. We're in a Bonaventure hotel and he takes a leak on me.

1:00:11 Drew Yeah. Al?

1:00:13 Adam You're 18, what's up?

1:00:14 Caller Yeah, like, I was at work the other day and we were discussing like, you know, stupid stuff. And all of a sudden some guy told me that every like, like year you should go get your like rectum cleaned out.

1:00:27 Drew Why, Al? Why? What would that do?

1:00:30 Caller I don't know. He just told me like, dude, you should go do that and because they'll clean out your system.

1:00:35 Drew Clean out what? That is outside your body.

1:00:38 Adam You mean like an anima?

1:00:39 Caller Yeah, something like that. I don't know. He said that like the doctors would like go clean with the pro-

1:00:44 Drew No, no, no, Al, please, no.

1:00:47 Caller Like to, like not to get like infections and stuff.

1:00:50 Drew No, no.

1:00:51 Caller All right.

1:00:53 Adam Who do you work with? Who is this guy?

1:00:54 Caller I work in the kitchen. I work in the hospital, actually. I work in the hospital in the kitchen. And like this guy was just like, he said, no, some nurse told me this. And I'm like, are you serious? He's like, yeah.

1:01:03 Adam How bad is that hospital food?

1:01:06 Caller It's bad, dude.

1:01:08 Drew Oh, hey, it ain't nothing compared to what it was in the 70s and 80s. Let me tell you something.

1:01:11 Adam Really? Yeah.

1:01:12 Drew Oh, no. Everything was hugely improved.

1:01:15 Adam Oh, yeah. Well, I don't know what food was like at your school, but you went to a decent school. Did they have these on college? No, not in college. In like high school, junior high?

1:01:26 Drew No, no. They had a lunch truck.

1:01:28 Adam Oh, the lunch truck.

1:01:29 Drew Yeah. Same guy that go to your construction site.

1:01:32 Adam Still a step up from what you'd get over at the city school. Mary?

1:01:37 Yeah, I'm here.

1:01:38 Adam You're 22?

1:01:39 Caller I'm 22. Well, I get sick all the time. In the last six months, I've been sick about eight times.

1:01:48 Drew What do you mean sick?

1:01:50 Caller Just like having a cold, like I have a cold right now. And I always get fevers. And I'm just wondering, you know, why? I mean, I get even nearer to someone that has a cold than I get it. And, you know, I don't know if I'm anemic or I don't know.

1:02:08 Drew Do you have any medical problems that would put you at risk for infection?

1:02:13 Caller Well, I'm bulimic.

1:02:15 Drew Oh, by the way. Yeah, of course. That's a terrible stress to your system and it makes it difficult for your immune system to function. So naturally enough, you come in contact with an infection, you're going to get it. And you'll have more complications from the infections, too.

1:02:31 Caller What can I do about it?

1:02:32 Drew You can get your bulimia treated.

1:02:36 Caller Okay. Anything else I can do?

1:02:38 Drew Wait, stop for a second. Put her on hold, please. Just for a second.

1:02:41 No.

1:02:41 Drew Please, please. Let's talk about it. Why? That's the reaction that really pisses me off. And that's the denial piece that I get so frustrated with.

1:02:50 Adam Yeah.

1:02:51 Drew What is that?

1:02:52 Adam I don't know.

1:02:53 Drew You don't care.

1:02:54 Adam Oh, I care, but I just don't care to care.

1:02:57 Drew I care because that's the part that prevents her from getting well. It's like, go at my chronic disease. I mean, why would I do that?

1:03:08 Adam Okay. Well, let me yell at her. Where is she lying for? Oh, hey, Mary?

1:03:13 Drew Yeah?

1:03:14 Adam You need to handle your bulimia and then worry about all the little crap that you're worrying about now instead of worrying about your bulimia.

1:03:22 Drew That's what we call rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Okay? The colds, deck chairs. Titanic going down because of bulimia. Okay?

1:03:33 Adam All right. So get yourself some help.

1:03:35 Caller Thank you.

1:03:36 Adam You're calling from Van Nuys?

1:03:37 Caller Yeah.

1:03:37 Adam Oh, get out of that hell hole.

1:03:40 Drew First and foremost.

1:03:41 Adam Dump city.

1:03:42 Drew I'm going to go bleam it.

1:03:43 Adam Just thinking about where do you live in Van Nuys?

1:03:45 Caller Um, around Sherman Way. Oh, no, it's horrible.

1:03:52 Adam Oh, what a pit. Get out of there.

1:03:56 Caller Tell me about it.

1:03:57 Adam Well, get out of there.

1:03:58 Caller Yeah.

1:03:59 Adam Go to Sherman Oaks.

1:04:00 Caller I will.

1:04:01 Adam Please. I'm going to tell all you people, you live in these hell holes and you don't even care. This Van Nuys is a dump. I grew up in North Howard. That was a dump. I had friends in Van Nuys. I worked in Van Nuys. It's a horrible place. Van Nuys means, it actually means hell hole in Spanish.

1:04:19 Drew Does it?

1:04:20 Adam Yeah.

1:04:20 Drew That's well, good. It's properly named.

1:04:23 Adam The point is, if you can scrape together another 65 bucks a month rent, you can slide over to Sherman Oaks and you'll be fine. And oh, handle your bulimia while you're at it. Here we go. Jesse.

1:04:35 Caller Yeah.

1:04:35 Adam You're 15. Yep. What's up?

1:04:38 Caller Well, me and my girlfriend, we were messed around today. And well, anyway, I guess I am. I'm not here.

1:04:49 Adam Go ahead.

1:04:50 Caller I had you calculated, you know?

1:04:52 Caller Yeah.

1:04:53 Caller And I may have gotten it on my hand and, you know, I guess I got it, you know, in her.

1:05:01 Caller Yeah.

1:05:03 Drew This was the first time you'd messed around like this with your girlfriend?

1:05:06 Caller No, but it's the first time that, you know.

1:05:09 Drew Something came out of you?

1:05:10 Caller Yeah.

1:05:11 Drew And so you're freaked out?

1:05:13 Caller No, I'm just freaked out because.

1:05:15 Drew You're freaking out because you're thinking about all the possible ways that what came out of you might have gotten into her.

1:05:20 Caller No, it's just that one.

1:05:23 Adam Right. So she gave you the handy, but it got on your hand?

1:05:29 Caller Well, something like that.

1:05:31 Adam Well, what was it?

1:05:32 Drew Help us understand.

1:05:33 Caller Oral.

1:05:34 Adam Oh, 15. Jeez, where do you go from there? Not up, brother. Just sideways from now on. You don't go anywhere from oral. That's it. You've peaked at 15. Enjoy. So she gave you oral. Something came out of your pants. She spit it onto your hand.

1:05:52 Caller Well, see, it was on my stomach.

1:05:57 Adam Yeah.

1:05:57 Kind of.

1:05:59 Drew Well, you brush it off and then grab her. I mean, what did you do?

1:06:03 Caller Yeah, pretty much that.

1:06:05 Drew Brushed it off and then went right for her.

1:06:07 Caller Well, I waited, but still.

1:06:10 Caller Yeah.

1:06:11 Adam How long ago did this happen?

1:06:13 Drew I washed my hands and put on latex gloves. But still.

1:06:15 Caller A couple of hours ago.

1:06:16 Adam I see.

1:06:17 Drew Well, if you are concerned, there's no, you're obviously not going to, you're not going to give us enough information for us to judge whether this is even a realistic possibility, but if you're concerned, but if you're concerned, she can certainly take the morning after pill. And that will substantially, if she takes it the next 24 hours, she will reduce the risk of pregnancy by about 90%. Okay.

1:06:36 Caller Yeah. I just wanted to know, like, is there, like, what's the biggest percentage that she could be?

1:06:43 Adam 17%.

1:06:44 Drew Yeah. I mean, she's, well, you just, that's the biggest percentage.

1:06:49 Adam Yeah.

1:06:49 Drew There's no such question like that. Okay.

1:06:51 Caller Okay.

1:06:52 Drew She could get pregnant, and that's that.

1:06:54 Caller All right. All right.

1:06:55 Adam But she's not going to get pregnant.

1:06:57 Caller Okay.

1:06:57 Adam Not from this.

1:06:59 Caller Thanks.

1:06:59 Adam But now you guys are sexually active, sort of.

1:07:03 Caller Sort of.

1:07:03 Adam Even if you're doing it sort of manually. So by proxy. Get her on some, just be more responsible. Now, you know why I was laughing at the top of the call? I was thinking about how I always say Van Nuys is a dump. North Hollywood is a dump. Then I think about, well, doesn't that upset people? Then I realized we never got a phone call with anyone upset or defending.

1:07:27 Drew Because they live in the dump. They know where they live.

1:07:30 Adam They know it. Yeah. Who's going to argue with that? Jessica?

1:07:34 Yeah.

1:07:34 Adam You're 15.

1:07:35 Caller Hi.

1:07:36 Adam What's up?

1:07:38 Caller I just have this really big fear of like, okay, because I'll hang out with these guys and my friends and stuff. They'll just be shown up there because I won't know that they're going. I don't know, I guess sometimes they get a crush on me. Then when somebody tells me, I like completely stop talking to them and I just get really...

1:07:59 Drew Have you ever been interested in one of the guys that is interested in you?

1:08:03 Caller Well, it's just like whenever the guys that I have a crush on never seem to like me.

1:08:08 Drew Right. Okay. And so you don't want to be sort of intruded upon by these guys that do like you.

1:08:12 Caller I just get like really scared of them.

1:08:14 Drew That's all right. You're 15. You may not yet have the skills in order to manage guys that sort of come on to you that way. That's all right. That's all right. The more interesting question is why you can't sort of let it be known to the guys you are interested in.

1:08:29 Caller I don't know. I get... I'm afraid he'll like reject me.

1:08:33 Adam How old are the guys that you're hanging out with? How old are they now?

1:08:36 Caller Like 15. Same age as me.

1:08:39 Adam Okay. Well, who do you like right now?

1:08:42 Caller Um, this guy at my school.

1:08:44 Adam Yeah. What's his name? Kurt?

1:08:47 Caller No.

1:08:48 Adam I'm never right with that Kurt guess.

1:08:49 Drew Joey.

1:08:50 Adam Joey? Is his name Joey?

1:08:53 Caller Shelly?

1:08:54 Adam Joey?

1:08:55 Caller No.

1:08:55 Adam Ramon?

1:08:56 Caller No.

1:08:57 Adam Steve?

1:08:57 Caller No.

1:08:58 Adam Frank?

1:08:58 Caller No.

1:08:59 Drew Tom?

1:09:00 Adam Bob?

1:09:00 Caller No.

1:09:01 Adam Any part of Bob like Robert or Bobby?

1:09:04 Larry?

1:09:05 Drew Thank you, sweet spirit.

1:09:06 Brad?

1:09:07 Caller Nope.

1:09:07 Adam Chuck?

1:09:08 Caller Nope.

1:09:09 Adam Jim?

1:09:09 Caller Nope.

1:09:10 Adam Mike?

1:09:11 Caller Nope.

1:09:12 Adam Rondo?

1:09:13 Caller No.

1:09:13 Adam Julio? No. Is it a bizarre name?

1:09:17 Caller No.

1:09:17 Adam Drew?

1:09:18 Caller No.

1:09:19 Adam Adam?

1:09:19 Caller No.

1:09:19 Drew Robert?

1:09:20 Caller No.

1:09:21 Drew You going to give us a name?

1:09:23 Caller No.

1:09:24 Adam Hang on, Jessica. I want to keep guessing this guy's name.

1:09:27 Caller Okay.

1:09:28 Adam All right. It's a regular name, right?

1:09:29 Caller Yeah.

1:09:30 Adam Stu?

1:09:30 Drew Steve?

1:09:31 Caller No.

1:09:32 Adam Brian?

1:09:32 Drew What to start with?

1:09:33 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, help it. Brian?

1:09:38 Caller No.

1:09:38 Adam Duke?

1:09:39 Caller No.

1:09:40 Adam Dan?

1:09:41 Caller No.

1:09:41 Adam Okay, hang on. Todd? No, wait a minute. Jessica?

1:09:45 Caller Yeah.

1:09:46 Adam Todd?

1:09:47 Caller No.

1:09:47 Caller Hold on.

1:09:49 Adam Todd, that's a lame guess.

1:09:51 Drew I know you like that name, though.

1:09:52 Adam Hold on. Anderson says Chris.

1:09:54 Drew Chris?

1:09:54 Adam Okay, wait a minute. It's got to be. Jessica?

1:09:57 Caller Yeah.

1:09:57 Adam Chris?

1:09:58 Caller No.

1:09:58 Adam All right. Hold on.

1:09:59 Drew Ray?

1:10:02 Adam Oh, no, I gave Mike. Wait a minute. I got Anthony. Hold on. Let's try. Anthony?

1:10:08 Caller No.

1:10:08 Drew Ray?

1:10:10 Caller Uh-uh.

1:10:10 Adam Okay, hang on. Okay, don't go anywhere because it's a regular name.

1:10:17 Drew She got to give us the first letter.

1:10:18 Adam No, she doesn't. We should have gotten it by now.

1:10:21 Drew Yes.

1:10:21 Adam We named 25 good, basic, straight names.

1:10:25 Drew The name is going to be something more ridiculous. Okay.

1:10:28 Adam Well, wait a minute. Just wait one second. Jessica?

1:10:31 Caller Yeah?

1:10:31 Adam Don't tell us the name.

1:10:33 Caller Okay.

1:10:33 Adam And don't tell us the first letter begins with.

1:10:36 Caller Okay.

1:10:36 Adam But answer this question. Is it an ethnic name or is it an American name?

1:10:42 Caller It's an American name.

1:10:43 Adam An American name.

1:10:43 Caller Jason. A what?

1:10:45 Drew Jason. Nicholas. Jason.

1:10:49 Caller Nope.

1:10:50 Adam All right. Hold on.

1:10:51 Drew Do you have a Jason? Josh.

1:10:52 Adam No, wait a minute.

1:10:53 Drew Joshua. That's it.

1:10:55 Adam And listen. Hold one more thing.

1:10:57 Drew Joshua. Josh?

1:10:59 Caller Nope.

1:10:59 Adam Okay. Hang on. Jessica?

1:11:00 Caller Yeah.

1:11:01 Adam Now, I don't want any derivative things. If we said Steve and he goes by Stephen, you got to sound off, right?

1:11:08 Caller Well, yeah.

1:11:09 Adam Okay. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Okay. Kids, this could be the rest of the show. It's a straight American name. I'm only going to take calls that are guesses now on this guy's name. It's a regular American name. I know I'm going to throttle her when I find out the guy's name is Hezekiah.

1:11:27 Drew Yeah.

1:11:29 Adam But we're going to take a break. Well, we'll finish the guessing after this.

1:11:34 Caller Love Line, Love Line, we'll be right back.

1:11:36 Hi, this is David Arquette, and you're listening to the Love Line with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:11:43 Adam All righty, kids. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. When we left off, we were speaking to Jessica. Jessica, is your radio turned down now, by the way?

1:11:54 Caller Yeah.

1:11:55 Adam Okay. Now, you're 15. You're a little creeped out by guys you don't like, but you're unable to connect with guys you do like.

1:12:02 Caller Yeah, it like bugs me all day. I think about it all day.

1:12:05 Adam More importantly, there's a guy you have a crush on at school, right? And you have not been able to muster the courage to come up and talk to him, right?

1:12:14 Caller Well, I'm like friends with him, but I can't tell him that I like.

1:12:18 Adam I see. And his name is Gordon.

1:12:23 Caller Nope.

1:12:24 Drew David.

1:12:25 Caller Nope.

1:12:25 Drew Jordan. Nope. Curtis.

1:12:27 Caller Nope.

1:12:27 Drew Douglas.

1:12:28 Caller Nope.

1:12:28 Drew Richard.

1:12:29 Caller No.

1:12:29 Drew Ron.

1:12:30 Caller No.

1:12:31 Drew Craig.

1:12:31 Caller No.

1:12:32 Drew Craig.

1:12:32 Caller No.

1:12:32 Drew Peter.

1:12:33 Caller Dick.

1:12:34 Adam Daniel.

1:12:35 Caller No.

1:12:36 Adam Bruce.

1:12:37 Caller No.

1:12:38 Drew Dennis.

1:12:38 Caller No.

1:12:39 Adam Turk.

1:12:40 Caller No.

1:12:42 Adam Art. Arthur.

1:12:44 Drew Arthur.

1:12:45 Caller No.

1:12:46 Adam What's going on in the background there, screwball?

1:12:49 Caller Uh, my TV is on.

1:12:51 Adam All right, please turn it down.

1:12:52 Drew Andy.

1:12:53 Caller All right.

1:12:54 Adam Jesus Christ.

1:12:56 Drew Andy.

1:12:56 Adam Andy.

1:12:57 Caller No.

1:12:57 Drew Jeremy.

1:12:58 Adam Jack.

1:12:58 Drew Ryan.

1:12:59 Caller No.

1:12:59 Adam Arnold.

1:13:00 Caller No.

1:13:02 Adam Alfonzo.

1:13:04 Caller No.

1:13:05 Adam All right. Come on. Think of your parents' names. Think of some easy names here. Chris. Christopher. Christoph.

1:13:13 Caller That's my dad's name.

1:13:14 Adam Uh-huh. We're getting warm.

1:13:18 Drew Edward.

1:13:21 Adam Now, I swear. You know what's going to happen, Jessica? You are going to give me the name of someone I named 10 minutes ago and I'm going to fly out to Phoenix and strangle you. Okay.

1:13:34 Drew Should we do it?

1:13:35 Adam I know. I refuse. Now, hold on. Hold on.

1:13:39 Drew Rob.

1:13:40 Adam I did Rob. Rob? Huh?

1:13:44 Caller What?

1:13:44 Adam Is his name Rob?

1:13:45 Caller No.

1:13:46 Drew Ricky. Rick.

1:13:48 Caller No.

1:13:49 Drew Stu.

1:13:49 Adam Richard.

1:13:50 Caller No.

1:13:51 Adam I did Stu. Larry. All the good ones.

1:13:55 Drew Larry.

1:13:56 Adam Curtis. Kirk.

1:13:57 Drew Ben. Benjamin.

1:14:00 Adam Jack.

1:14:01 Drew I did that one.

1:14:02 Adam All right. Hang on.

1:14:03 Drew That's it.

1:14:03 Adam Hang on. There's no more male names. And this is a normal American first name, right?

1:14:08 Drew Sam.

1:14:10 Adam Oh, that was a good one though. Okay. Hang on. I got to look to the Peanut Gallery now.

1:14:17 Drew They wrote down all those names. There's nothing in there. Lee.

1:14:20 Adam I did Lee.

1:14:21 Drew Kevin.

1:14:22 Adam Lee? Kevin? Nope. Okay. Hang on. Jessica, just hang on. I got to take some more calls. Maybe we'll get some good names. Gabriel.

1:14:35 Caller Gabrielle.

1:14:36 Adam Gabrielle. I'm making it into a boy's name.

1:14:39 Caller Oh, that's okay.

1:14:40 Adam You're 31. I'm trying to think of names. Yeah. What's up?

1:14:43 Caller Oh, yeah. I'm 31. About six months ago, I started having a new kind of orgasm in addition to the old one. Wow. I'm trying to figure out what the hell it is and why it's starting now after I've been sexually active half my life.

1:14:57 Drew Well, what are these new experiences?

1:15:01 Caller It's a much smaller release, but it's much easier. It happens more frequently. Before, I could only have clitoral orgasms that were very intense. It took a long time. And this is like, I can have it from intercourse, from almost anything, and it's short and sudden, and it's really, really wet.

1:15:18 Adam And when did this start?

1:15:20 Caller About six months ago.

1:15:21 Adam What's, what's, are you married?

1:15:24 Caller No, I'm divorced.

1:15:25 Adam What was your ex-husband's name? It's important. Josh. Josh.

1:15:32 Drew We did that one already.

1:15:33 Adam And we used that one.

1:15:37 Caller I'm still trying to figure out the, the question.

1:15:38 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

1:15:40 Drew Gabrielle, are you on any medication?

1:15:42 Caller I'm on Paxil.

1:15:43 Drew That's what's doing it.

1:15:44 Caller But I've been on it for two years.

1:15:46 Drew Well, it's probably what's doing it still. Interestingly, it changes orgasmic function. Usually it diminishes it. Are you having more difficulty having a clitoral orgasm?

1:15:54 Caller No, that, that's just, the olivagin orgasm is the same. Yeah. This is like just more.

1:15:58 Drew I bet it's the Paxil though, I really do. And because Paxil just changes all that function and changes in different ways in different people, usually in the downward direction makes it worse. But I can see where it could make a better change too.

1:16:09 Caller Well, it's really embarrassing. I mean, I feel like I should only date guys named Noah now. I'm like, I'm just, it's got Bill Nark. No, it's really bad.

1:16:17 Drew Yeah, guys are pleased when they achieve that with you.

1:16:20 Caller You think so?

1:16:22 Drew Oh, yeah. They feel like they see something for their life. Yeah, don't worry.

1:16:25 Adam That's right.

1:16:26 Drew No problem. They're self-impressed.

1:16:29 Caller So you think it's happening because of the Paxil?

1:16:33 Drew I suspect, but even be that as it may, you just you become multi-orgasmic.

1:16:36 Adam You get older, things loosen up.

1:16:38 Drew Your testosterone levels go up and these functions do change with time for sure.

1:16:42 Adam All right. Jessica?

1:16:44 Drew Yeah? Bjork?

1:16:46 Adam Gavin?

1:16:47 Caller Nope.

1:16:49 Drew Victor? Victor?

1:16:50 Adam Victor. I did a Victor. Ben, Alex, Tony?

1:16:56 Caller Mm-mm.

1:16:56 Adam Mute? That's a Jewish name. No? No. Okay. Hang on. No. I wouldn't accept that is a standard American name.

1:17:05 Drew Hang on a second.

1:17:06 Adam Hold on.

1:17:06 Drew Wait, let's go through some letters here. I think it was M other than Monte. We got M.

1:17:12 Adam We did the R's.

1:17:13 Drew RJ. We did Ralph.

1:17:15 Adam Oh, I don't think we did Ralph.

1:17:17 Drew No.

1:17:18 Adam Are you going to get your hopes up about Ralph? Ralph. No. Okay. Hang on. Mark?

1:17:26 Yeah.

1:17:27 Adam You're 40?

1:17:28 Caller Yeah. Good evening, gentlemen. And thanks for taking my call. I have a long time listener, but I've never called before, so I appreciate you taking my call. Here we are.

1:17:36 Adam Well, thanks. What is your call?

1:17:38 Caller Anyway, I've got kind of a troubling situation. I've been an amputee for 20 years as a result of a motorcycle accident. I have an above-the-knee amputation on my right leg, and I'm pretty active. Good times.

1:17:52 Adam Oh, good times. Good times. Yeah.

1:17:54 Caller Yeah. But I have a nagging problem with what they call phantom pain.

1:18:01 Drew Ouch. Yeah.

1:18:02 Caller Phantom pain is in a plastic foot I don't have. Everybody knows it's plastic, but it hurts badly.

1:18:09 Drew Phantom pain, literally, you feel like that limb that you had is still there and you're feeling pain in it.

1:18:14 Caller Yeah. But most of the times, most amputees I've talked with don't even have this problem. Right. Not only do I have the problem, but it seems to be getting worse. I've just been through three days of intense pain.

1:18:25 Drew Are you doing drugs, taking opiates?

1:18:27 Caller Well, I've been prescribed Darvuset by an orthopedic doctor. It's part of my HMO.

1:18:33 Drew Does that help?

1:18:34 Adam Are you actually having pain in... Would you shut up, Drew? You have a prosthetic leg and you have a foot and you're actually in pain in the foot of the prosthetic leg?

1:18:47 Caller It feels like someone is taking a high-voltage wire and stabbing at my heel.

1:18:53 Drew If he took off the prosthetic leg, he'd still have the pain.

1:18:55 Caller Yeah, it changes.

1:18:57 Adam Well, you have to burn the prosthetic leg.

1:18:59 Caller If you took off the prosthetic, I mean, it becomes like a part of you. It's very, very strong.

1:19:03 Adam So if you took the prosthetic off, hold on. If you took the prosthetic off for two days, would you still have the pain?

1:19:10 Caller Yes.

1:19:11 Adam And where would the pain be?

1:19:13 Caller Well, it would be towards the end of the amputated leg, but it doesn't have, I guess, the definition it does when you have the actual...

1:19:21 Drew He would perceive it still as in a foot that's not there. That's why it's called phantom.

1:19:24 Caller Yeah.

1:19:25 Drew Phantom limb pain, it's called.

1:19:27 Caller The troubling thing is it's difficult to explain this to most medical doctors that don't even understand the condition exists.

1:19:33 Drew I beg your pardon. That's something that any first-year medical student would know about.

1:19:37 Caller I've had a lot of difficulty in.

1:19:39 Drew It's difficult to treat and people might blow it off because it's impossible to treat. You should see a pain specialist. They have spinal nerve stimulators and all kinds of things they can do to treat this. It's a nerve issue. It's a spinal reflex and a peripheral nerve problem.

1:19:54 Adam Where is the leg that was amputated? Because you're going to have to get a priest in there to exercise it. That's the only way to get rid of phantom pain.

1:20:01 Caller Well, I was just going to ask you, Dr. Drew, is there anything that is developing in this?

1:20:08 Drew Yeah, a ton. You need to go down to Irvine and go to the chronic pain program and see what they can do. They've got an anesthesia and a neurosurgery department there that both deals with chronic pain. They have all kinds of new things for this. There are spinal stimulators. There's intrathecal injections. It depends where they localize the pain syndrome is coming from.

1:20:27 Adam Yeah. Huh? I'm trying to come up with names here.

1:20:30 Drew We'll talk to her again.

1:20:31 Adam Jessica? Did I do George?

1:20:35 Caller Uh, I don't know.

1:20:36 Drew Oh.

1:20:37 Adam Is it George? She's just toying with us now.

1:20:42 Drew Nicholas?

1:20:44 Adam I think I did a Nick.

1:20:45 Drew Nathan?

1:20:46 Adam Nathan.

1:20:48 Caller Orville?

1:20:51 Adam Wilbur? I think I did Paul.

1:20:54 Caller Uh, it's not Wilbur.

1:20:56 Adam Paul?

1:20:57 Caller Uh-uh.

1:20:58 Adam Okay. Hey, Jessica?

1:21:00 Caller Yeah?

1:21:00 Adam You know that game to tell the truth? Where those three people try to fake out the celebrity contestants? This ain't that.

1:21:08 Caller I know.

1:21:09 Adam If you hear the name, sound off.

1:21:11 Drew William.

1:21:11 Adam Don't keep groaning and then going back.

1:21:14 Drew Not William.

1:21:14 Adam Not William.

1:21:15 Drew She kind of responded to that W name a little bit.

1:21:17 Adam Barry.

1:21:17 Drew Stay with W for a second.

1:21:19 Adam Barry? You want to say W?

1:21:22 Drew You know the W?

1:21:23 Adam Warren?

1:21:24 Caller No.

1:21:24 Caller Oh, good one.

1:21:26 Adam Uh, Wes?

1:21:27 Caller No.

1:21:29 Adam Uh, Willie? True. We're staying with these stupid Ws because we've got to hair up your ass. And hang on, Jessica. And then when it just tuned in, I'm trying to figure out the name of the guy that Jessica has a crush on. She says it's a normal American name. I know I'm going to kill her when she gives me the name.

1:21:49 Drew Because it's going to be Octavio.

1:21:51 Adam It will be Octavio or it will be the third name that I mentioned, but she wasn't listening because Sally Jessie Raphael was playing. Hold on. Raphael?

1:22:02 Caller What? Yeah.

1:22:03 Drew That's it?

1:22:04 Caller Wait, what did you say?

1:22:06 Adam Raphael?

1:22:07 Caller Oh, no.

1:22:08 Adam Jessie?

1:22:09 Caller Yeah.

1:22:11 Adam Yes?

1:22:11 Caller No, wait. I thought you were saying my name.

1:22:13 Caller Sorry.

1:22:15 Adam No, it's not Jessie.

1:22:16 Drew Alex?

1:22:16 Adam Sally?

1:22:18 Caller Nope.

1:22:18 Adam Okay, hang on.

1:22:19 Drew We did those.

1:22:19 Adam We did the Josh's. Has someone got a suggestion for a name? Alex?

1:22:25 Caller Hey, um.

1:22:26 Adam You're 16. Yeah.

1:22:27 Caller I have a suggestion.

1:22:28 Adam Go ahead.

1:22:28 Caller For the names, say Tom.

1:22:30 Caller Alex, Chad, Kyle.

1:22:32 Drew Chad, Kyle, yeah.

1:22:34 Adam Chad and Kyle.

1:22:35 Caller And Cody.

1:22:36 Adam Oh, Cody. Yeah, all those new gay names I forgot about. Cody.

1:22:41 Drew Dan? We did Dan.

1:22:42 Adam Yeah, we did that. Kyle.

1:22:44 Caller And Don.

1:22:45 Adam Don. I think I did Don.

1:22:47 Caller Jim.

1:22:48 Adam We did Jim. Now, I did Jim. I did Jim. Jim. All right. I'll redo Jim. But that's under protest. So we got Don, Jim, Kyle, Cody and Chad.

1:22:58 Caller And Mark and Kyle.

1:22:59 Drew Mark.

1:23:00 Adam I did Mark.

1:23:01 Drew Okay, thanks.

1:23:01 Adam Hang on, Alex. Okay. Jessica.

1:23:05 Caller Yeah.

1:23:05 Adam Chad.

1:23:06 Caller Nope.

1:23:06 Adam Cody.

1:23:07 Caller Nope.

1:23:07 Adam Kyle. Don. Jim. Hang on. I'm at my wits end with this bitch. That asshole. Justin.

1:23:17 Drew Justin.

1:23:17 Adam I swear we did a Justin. We haven't done a Justin. I think we've done Justin. Jessica.

1:23:24 Caller Yeah.

1:23:24 Adam Justin.

1:23:25 Caller Yeah.

1:23:26 Drew What?

1:23:27 Caller You guys.

1:23:36 Adam I told you I have a gift. And I tell Drew all the time, and he does not buy into it.

1:23:42 Drew It's an intuitive thing.

1:23:43 Adam But out of the hundreds, maybe thousands of names, I got it after like 375 names. And that's...

1:23:52 Drew Imagine the odds.

1:23:55 Adam That's astronomical. Justin?

1:23:58 Caller Yeah.

1:23:59 Adam Didn't I do a Justin 45 minutes ago?

1:24:02 Caller Nuh-uh.

1:24:03 Adam Nuh-uh. Okay. So you like Justin?

1:24:08 Drew Okay.

1:24:08 Adam I like to kill this Justin. Go ask him out tomorrow, would you?

1:24:13 Caller I'm on summer break.

1:24:15 Adam Okay.

1:24:15 Drew What's he doing?

1:24:17 Adam Doing September.

1:24:18 Drew You got an e-mail address for him or anything?

1:24:19 Caller I'm changing schools soon.

1:24:22 Drew That's even better. There's no downside to asking him out.

1:24:24 Adam Go for Bro. Can you find him?

1:24:27 Caller Mm, no.

1:24:28 Adam You don't know his last name?

1:24:30 Caller I know his last name, but I don't know his number.

1:24:32 Drew No e-mail address?

1:24:34 Adam Call information and get his name. Yeah.

1:24:38 Caller I don't want him to think I'm stalking him.

1:24:40 Adam What do you care? You're moving. You're going to another school.

1:24:43 Drew I promise you he will be flattered. Even if he says no, even if he can't do it or is not interested, he will be moved, flattered.

1:24:49 Adam Go for Broke, baby. You're going to another school. You'll never see him again, right?

1:24:54 Drew Guaranteed he'll be flattered. Guaranteed.

1:24:56 Adam Okay? All right. All right.

1:24:58 Drew Justin.

1:24:59 Adam Well, we really helped her out. I think I said Justin. I really don't. Maybe I didn't. Okay, we're going to take a break. We'll be back.

1:25:11 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:25:16 Adam Hey, Loveline. I'm Adam. Don't call me Justin. Dr. Drew over there. Doing some real important work here this evening. Jesse. Yeah, hi.

1:25:29 Drew You're 20. Wasn't that Jesse was just driving us insane?

1:25:31 Adam Yeah, that was chick Jesse.

1:25:34 Caller Yeah, I'm a guy.

1:25:35 Adam This is dude Jesse.

1:25:36 Caller Hi.

1:25:36 Adam What's happening dude Jesse?

1:25:38 Caller Not much. I was hoping to get your opinions and advice on what it takes to be successful in therapy. All right.

1:25:45 Drew Just hang in. Hang in and be willing. Be willing. That is the one piece of advice. I gave a lecture the other day where I tried to struggle with, I was at a group of addicts and we were trying to come to terms with how do you give somebody get it. I think I talked about this the other night. How do you get them to sort of get it, to be willing to follow the direction, to be willing to give in to the process of treatment. It's hard. It's hard to get somebody there. A good therapist will sort of connect with you where you are and find a way to build a relationship wherever it is you are and then you'll get it eventually.

1:26:19 Adam Are you going to a therapist now?

1:26:21 Caller Well, I see a psychiatrist for schizophrenia.

1:26:25 Drew Well, schizophrenia is not something that responds particularly to therapy, right?

1:26:28 Caller Right. Well, yeah, but I have some emotional problems.

1:26:31 Drew Okay.

1:26:32 Caller Aside from that, you know.

1:26:33 Caller All right.

1:26:37 Caller Huh?

1:26:37 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, yeah, stay with the work. I mean, you know what you have to do, right?

1:26:44 Caller Yeah. Yeah. You've got to get into treatment.

1:26:46 Adam You're taking medication? Okay. All right. I got some good stuff for schizophrenia now, right? Oh, yeah.

1:26:52 Drew Are you on Closed Reel or something like that?

1:26:54 Caller No. I'm on Seric Well.

1:26:56 Drew Okay. Fair enough.

1:26:57 Caller Working pretty good.

1:26:58 Adam All right, Jesse.

1:26:59 Drew Good luck.

1:26:59 Adam Keep up the good work.

1:27:00 Caller Yeah. Yeah. You know, I really respect you guys' opinion.

1:27:06 Adam Dr. Drew, I really respect your opinion. Thanks, Jesse. It means a lot to us. It does. And it'd mean more to us if you kept with your program.

1:27:16 Drew Absolutely.

1:27:16 Caller And I was hoping to hear Adam's opinion on, you know, because I know you've been through a lot of therapy and stuff.

1:27:22 Adam Yeah.

1:27:23 Drew Yeah. Thanks.

1:27:24 Adam Yeah. Yeah. My opinion is show up and, you know, you can treat... I mean, look at it this way. It's not a great analogy, but it's somewhat apropos. If you go to a personal trainer once a week, and you sit there...

1:27:42 Drew Right.

1:27:43 Adam In your jeans and sweat jacket...

1:27:45 Drew Or just say, I can't, I can't.

1:27:47 Adam Yeah, I can't. You just sort of stand around, then the world's best personal trainer will get no results. And if you just do what they tell you to do and work with them and essentially break a sweat...

1:27:57 Drew The harder you work, the...

1:27:59 Adam You'll get something out of it. It's the same with therapy. Not that I do that, but that's for you guys.

1:28:04 Drew Yeah, have you yet to talk to your therapist about anything meaningful?

1:28:07 Adam Not that I'm aware of.

1:28:09 Drew No.

1:28:09 Caller No.

1:28:11 Adam Jessica?

1:28:12 Drew Is this Jessica Central here? Jesse Jessica?

1:28:15 Adam Yeah.

1:28:16 Drew You must be named Jessica to call the station.

1:28:18 Caller Yes.

1:28:19 Adam What's up? You're 18.

1:28:21 Caller Yeah.

1:28:22 Caller Like a month ago, I found a bump on my vagina and I didn't think anything of it because I just thought it was like an ingrown hair. And then my friends were saying that could it just be like a harmless cyst, but I wanted to go to the doctor anyways. So I got in there today and she saw it and she's like, oh no, it's nothing. You know, just an ingrown hair. And she wanted to just leave it, but I didn't want her to. So she's like, okay, you know, I'll cut it open and I'll let it drain or whatever. And she cut it open and she's like, this is definitely not an ingrown hair. This is definitely not a cyst. And she was like digging around and she's like, I have no idea what this is. And she's like, oh, it should go down, but I think I'm going to have to get a second opinion and come back in six weeks. And that scares me. And so she like numbed it. She put a shot in it and the numbing wore off. And now I'm in extreme pain. I can barely walk and it's like swelled up.

1:29:15 Drew Oh boy.

1:29:16 Caller And it's like black and I haven't, I haven't told my mom, so I have to whisper.

1:29:20 Drew Well, the black is just sort of bleeding, blood.

1:29:22 Caller Yeah. It just makes it look kind of hard.

1:29:24 Drew Yeah. What kind of doctors she wants you to see?

1:29:27 Caller She said that, she said that if I came back in six weeks, she'd get another gynecologist and she'd get a dermatologist.

1:29:33 Drew Well, why wait six weeks?

1:29:36 Caller I don't know why that. That's all my friends are saying.

1:29:38 Drew No, you got to push harder.

1:29:39 Adam Well, this on the outside of your vagina?

1:29:41 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:29:41 Caller Yeah.

1:29:43 Drew It seems to me that next week or two of that ought to be figured out.

1:29:46 Caller Yeah.

1:29:47 Caller Like my friend's mom said it could be a gland, like a blocked up gland, because it's big and hard.

1:29:54 Adam Yeah.

1:29:54 Drew It's probably what's a Bartholomew's gland that gets clogged. But even so, if the doctor really has no idea what it is, you need a diagnosis. So push on for that.

1:30:03 Adam Dustin?

1:30:04 Drew Dustin?

1:30:04 Adam Yeah. We didn't guess that one. You're 17?

1:30:07 Caller Yeah.

1:30:08 Adam You're gay?

1:30:09 Caller Yeah.

1:30:10 Adam And?

1:30:11 Caller And well, I'm gay, and I like, it's just kind of hard where I live to find people, but like where I work, this person recently came out to me, and he was just like, yeah, hey, and we were talking, and then we went out to the movies on Monday, Memorial Day, and then he started like asking questions and stuff like that, and you know, so I answered him, because I'm more useful in lifestyle, because when I figured out that I was gay, I just like accepted it. I'm just like, this is who I am.

1:30:39 Drew You're gay.

1:30:39 Adam Drew, please, yes.

1:30:41 Drew What's the question?

1:30:42 Caller Well, he's new to this, and when I answer these questions, they don't sound like he was like uncomfortable around me, and like he doesn't understand what's happening or anything like that.

1:30:54 Drew Maybe you can help him be more at ease with all this.

1:30:56 Adam He'll be his gay guide.

1:30:59 Caller Yeah, well, it's just like I want him to be like comfortable around me, except whenever I approach him, I feel like he's acting weird around me.

1:31:08 Adam Well, do you like him?

1:31:10 Caller Yeah.

1:31:10 Adam Well, he probably likes you or he wouldn't have brought it up.

1:31:13 Drew Tell him to calm down, that's all.

1:31:15 Adam Yeah, just take it slow. How old is he?

1:31:18 Caller He's 16.

1:31:19 Adam Yeah. Has he been with a guy?

1:31:22 Caller He has not.

1:31:23 Drew I think it's nervous for him.

1:31:24 Adam It's the first time. He's breaking ground and breaking behind us. Yeah. Feel it out. Take it slow. Don't freak the guy out. It'll all work out. Good times. We'll be back.

1:31:38 Caller This is your radio.

1:31:42 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, there you go. Another fantabulous Loveline show. We learned all the male names in the Bible. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Jessica?

1:31:56 Caller Yeah.

1:31:56 Adam Justin?

1:31:57 Caller Yeah.

1:31:57 Caller What?

1:32:01 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:32:07 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, but the management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, July 4, 2001