Episode 1000754886907

1:04 Voiceover 30 seconds.

1:14 Voiceover 20 seconds. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six.

1:43 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:55 Drew Anderson, you edited in The Stryker last night? Come on, that's red now. All right, you guys listening out there, this is Stryker. Filling in for Adam Corolla once again. The man is in New York City right now. Doing something big.

2:06 Stryker I don't know, do you hear any of his stuff this morning?

2:08 Drew No, I sleep in.

2:09 Stryker Me too.

2:09 Drew You don't sleep in, you work harder than anybody I know.

2:12 Stryker Same thing.

2:12 Drew But you didn't hear him?

2:13 Stryker No.

2:13 Drew It was on Howard, I guess.

2:14 Stryker I guess. I have no interest.

2:16 Drew Now he's in with Howard? He's in with everyone now. Hugh Hefner, Howard.

2:20 Stryker Whatever.

2:21 Drew Strippers, people like that.

2:22 Who I had sex with.

2:24 Drew That was my mom, Corolla, Ace Rockolla. So yeah, so I'm here once again. It's 1-800-LOVE-191. No guest tonight, Carmen Electro was here last night.

2:34 Stryker Isn't she nice?

2:35 Drew She was super nice except I got the weirdest vibe when she started talking about guys she was dating. And I said in a very matter of fact way, you've dated a lot of famous guys. She's like, no, I haven't.

2:46 Stryker And I was like, She goes, shut up. We're not going there. Yeah.

2:50 Drew I was like, I'll name them for you. She's like, shut up.

2:52 Stryker But she must be, I mean, look, she knows how to handle stuff on this show. You know what I mean?

2:56 Drew Yeah.

2:56 Stryker And she knows if we start pushing, she has to talk. She was putting a boundary down up front.

3:01 Drew About that thing.

3:03 Stryker Who are you going to refer to, by the way?

3:04 Drew I can refer to them now? Now, I don't know how serious, but like, you know, Fred Durst, Be Real from Cypress Hill, of course, Rodman. That's three very famous people.

3:13 Stryker Probably, you know, she has a great relationship with Navarro.

3:17 Drew What?

3:17 Stryker With Navarro now.

3:19 Drew Great relationship.

3:19 Stryker And then she doesn't want to sort of poison that and have him feel bad about stuff.

3:22 Drew Of course not. And I wasn't trying to get at that. I was just merely pointing it out.

3:28 Stryker Unacceptable. I have the most sort of like sibling-like feelings for Carmen. It's the strangest thing.

3:33 Drew How long have you known her?

3:34 Stryker For a long time, like six, seven years.

3:36 Drew Wow.

3:37 Stryker Oh, yeah. And before she was like really common elector even. And I just feel like protective. And I don't she's not common elector to me. You know what I mean?

3:45 Drew Yeah.

3:45 Stryker It's very strange. Sometimes I think myself, oh my God, she's common elector.

3:48 Drew She's really nice.

3:49 Stryker Yeah, very nice.

3:50 Drew Really nice. All right. Let's take some calls here. Where are we going, Drew? We're going to Cassandra? Yeah. Yes. All right. Cassandra.

3:58 Hello.

3:58 Drew What's up? You're 19.

3:59 Caller Yes.

4:00 Drew Hi.

4:00 Caller Hi. I keep having this reoccurring dream, which has turned into a fear, that I'm going to fall in love with some man and he's not going to have a penis.

4:09 Stryker You're a lesbian.

4:10 Drew Like Corolla.

4:11 Caller No, not a lesbian.

4:13 Stryker I'm assuming no penis, not micropenis.

4:15 Drew No, no penis at all.

4:16 Caller No penis at all, like nothing. It's going to have had some freak accident when he was young or something, and then he's going to end up with no penis.

4:25 Stryker What's the feeling that goes on with that when you're having those dreams? I mean, is it a fear or?

4:29 Caller It's like shock and fear and...

4:32 Drew Is it exciting at all?

4:33 Caller Not exciting at all.

4:34 Drew Hmm. Have you been with a man with a small wiener lately?

4:37 Caller No.

4:38 Drew Have you ever been with a man with a small wiener?

4:40 Caller No.

4:40 Stryker Do you have a boyfriend?

4:42 Caller No.

4:42 Stryker You ever had a boyfriend?

4:43 Caller Yes.

4:44 Stryker And how'd that go?

4:44 Caller But I'm a virgin. I've never had sex before.

4:47 Stryker Got a lesbian. How'd that...

4:49 Caller But I'm not a lesbian.

4:50 Stryker You're fat. How'd that boyfriend relationship go?

4:53 Caller What?

4:54 Stryker How was that relationship with your boyfriend?

4:55 Caller Okay. I mean, not anything like tragic or anything like that has happened. I also have really weird like sex dreams about like older, weird, famous men.

5:05 Stryker You're overweight. Give us an example.

5:07 Caller Ben Stein.

5:09 Drew Oh my God. Ben Stein. What about Dr. Drew? Have you ever dreamed about Drew?

5:13 Caller No, never about Dr. Drew.

5:15 Stryker I don't want to be in the same...

5:16 Caller Anderson?

5:17 Adam Anderson.

5:19 Drew Not only Anderson, but that was Ben Stein right there.

5:22 Caller Yeah, Ben Stein.

5:23 Drew He's a smart man. Maybe you like smart men with no wieners.

5:26 Caller Well, I don't know.

5:28 Stryker Anything else happening in your life right now?

5:30 Caller Not really. Just school and like normal natural stress.

5:34 Drew You go to college?

5:35 Caller Uh-huh.

5:35 Drew What's your major?

5:36 Caller Political science.

5:38 Drew You gonna be a lawyer?

5:38 Stryker Lots of guys without penises. Well, you know, it doesn't necessarily mean anything. It just, it sounds to me like all we can really say is you have a lot of anxiety about men, right?

5:48 Caller About men?

5:48 Drew Yeah. You're 19, never had sex. That's okay.

5:51 Caller I would say that would probably be.

5:52 Stryker Yeah, and you're sort of anxious about men right now and you're afraid you're gonna find some guy that's sort of, you know, let's think guys.

5:58 Caller I'm kind of attracted to like feminine-esque guys too. What kind?

6:02 Drew Feminine.

6:03 Stryker Well, I just wonder if you're afraid that your attractions are gonna lead you to somebody who's somehow flawed, somebody who has a very fundamental flaw, and just, you know, watch out for your attractions. That's all. Look for people that are substantial and you really like and like spending time with them. And that's it.

6:17 Caller Okay.

6:17 Drew So you're okay, Cassandra.

6:18 Caller I'm okay. I'm not psycho or scary or anything.

6:20 Stryker Well, you may be, but we can't say that for sure.

6:22 Caller Okay, not just from my no penis dreams?

6:24 Stryker No, not from your no penis dreams.

6:25 Caller Okay.

6:25 Drew Good luck, Wienerlis.

6:26 Caller What about Ben Stein? Does that make me psycho or scary?

6:29 Stryker That's approaching truly insane, but no, that's fine.

6:32 Drew You know, he sleeps with his dog more than women?

6:35 Caller Wow.

6:36 Drew Yeah, I heard him say that the other day. He loves his dog.

6:38 Caller That's really scary.

6:40 Stryker That is.

6:40 Drew He hates his kid.

6:41 Caller That's probably going to add a whole new element.

6:42 Stryker No, I'm just kidding.

6:43 Drew I'm just kidding. All right. Thank you, Cassandra.

6:45 Caller Thank you.

6:45 Drew Bye. I was going to give you a line from the from the Buhler Anderson Anderson. He hates his kids. He loves his car. You don't understand. Right. He rubs it with a diaper.

6:53 Caller Beep, beep, beep.

6:55 Drew Hey, Michael.

6:56 Yeah.

6:56 Drew What's up? You're 14 on Loveline.

6:58 Caller All right. I was wondering if it's possible to age while using a condom.

7:02 Drew Drew?

7:03 Stryker It's possible, but not likely.

7:06 Caller All right.

7:06 Stryker Age is not an easy thing to contract, and condoms reduce that risk even further.

7:10 Drew What if it breaks?

7:11 Stryker If it breaks, then you're...

7:12 Drew It's like not wearing anything at all.

7:13 Stryker It's just as right, and that has maybe 10% chance of happening.

7:17 All right.

7:18 Stryker That's the main thing.

7:18 Drew And Michael, you know the wiener grows till you're 21.

7:22 Caller Yeah, I heard that.

7:22 Stryker Anderson found that out last night. It was very exciting for him.

7:25 Drew Cool. So you're all right?

7:26 Stryker Yep.

7:27 Drew Wear the condom.

7:28 Caller All right.

7:28 Drew Wear the gym hat. Michael, again. Michael.

7:32 Caller Yeah.

7:32 Drew You're 16. What's going on?

7:35 Caller I'm a Satanist, and I don't know what I tell my mom.

7:38 Drew She doesn't realize when you're wearing black every single day listening to Well, she realizes it, but she thinks it's like just a fad or something.

7:45 Stryker So she already knows you are.

7:47 Caller Well, she doesn't know. She just thinks I wear black all the time.

7:50 Drew So wait, what do you do to worship Satan? What's the worst thing you get into?

7:55 Caller Like, I don't know, like sometimes like I'll wake up and then I have to draw like a pentagram or something. I don't know. It's weird.

8:05 Drew All right. So you're being an artist. What about like cutting yourself blood vampire biting?

8:10 Caller I have done it.

8:11 Stryker You're done cutting?

8:12 Caller Yeah. I made a little design on my wrist and I don't know how I did it.

8:19 Stryker Don't know how you did it?

8:20 Caller No.

8:20 Stryker What do you mean?

8:22 Caller Like, because I got really drunk one night. I kind of woke up and like it was blood everywhere, but I didn't lose that much.

8:31 Drew Why? How did you get into the Satan thing to begin with?

8:36 Caller I don't know. I started out kind of early. My aunt had a couple of books.

8:41 Stryker Michael, it sounds like you're very, very distressed and unhappy. You're cutting in yourself. You're depressed. You're dressing black all the time. The Satan thing is just an expression of how crappy you feel emotionally. So what happened? Did somebody leave you or beat on you? Or what's happened in your life? Or all that?

8:59 Caller I don't know. Like when I was little, my mom and my stepdad got in a real, real big fight and I had to go to a foster home separated from my sister.

9:08 Stryker And how was the foster care?

9:10 Caller It was horrible. Yeah.

9:11 Stryker Well, there you go. That's enough to turn anyone to Satan. Really? Yeah. So, Michael, listen, why don't you start dealing with dad as opposed to turning it all into some sort of weird perverse, self-destructive context that has nothing to do with what's really going on with you?

9:26 Caller All right.

9:27 Stryker And you want to tell your mom, tell her you want to talk to somebody, counselor or something.

9:31 Caller Well, because my older brother said I should be really close to my mom. But then again.

9:36 Stryker Well, your mom, you're going to have trouble doing that because your mom's one that had the big fight with the dad. Your mom's one that you, I'm sure, feel responsible for sending you for foster care. And those are major ruptures in your connection with people that you're really trusting at an important time in your life to take care of you. And it's going to have all kinds of awful feelings associated with that. And you're going to have to get into that. Either that or you're going to keep cutting pentagrams into your forearm. And that's no kind of life.

10:02 Drew And you're going to look ridiculous in a few years, man. And you're going to look back going, what the hell did I just do?

10:07 Stryker Well, you're going to have trouble relating to people at work and you're not going to trust people and you're going to act out all the time and wonder why, you know, you're going to be pissed off all the time and wonder why no one hires you.

10:15 Drew Right.

10:16 Stryker Just because you have black fingernail polish and a bone through your nose.

10:20 Drew See if you can talk to your mom and she can send you to someone to talk to.

10:23 Stryker Get some help and let's get a group or get some help with this. You should have a, you spend a little time thinking about this and get up and have a decent life. All right? Yeah. All right, Michael. Take care.

10:32 Bye.

10:33 Drew Adam.

10:34 Adam Yeah.

10:35 Drew What's up? You're 23. I'm Loveline.

10:36 Adam Yeah. Hi. My husband told me about folic acid. I guess he heard it on the radio or something, that it's supposed to help you out sexually.

10:46 Stryker In what way?

10:49 Adam I can't think of the word. Just get you more. Aroused? Yeah.

10:54 Stryker That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous.

10:57 Adam What about DHEA? Is it called DHEA?

10:59 Stryker DHEA?

11:00 Adam Yeah.

11:01 Stryker DHEA might do that in some women. If you are depleted, like around menopause, DHEA has some useful benefit.

11:08 Drew I don't want to sound like an idiot. What is that?

11:10 Stryker DHEA is an adrenal hormone that has, well, it's a testosterone-like congenital basically.

11:15 Drew For women?

11:16 Stryker No. All of us make it, but you can supplement it and get over-the-counter supplements, and it's supposedly useful for women. And, you know, it's controversial. It may have side effects. We don't really know yet. It certainly has use in perimenopausal times in a woman's life when there's changes in your sex hormones. But you're 23 years old, Autumn. You do not need medication or supplements. You need to exercise and eat right. And if you're having interpersonal problems, that's what's going to affect your sexual functioning.

11:40 Adam Okay.

11:40 Drew How long have you been married?

11:42 Adam Just got married Friday.

11:43 Drew You have any kids?

11:44 Adam Nope, no kids.

11:45 Drew Been married since Friday, so no honeymoon.

11:47 Stryker Here's where folic acid is good. It's good for pregnancy. It's good for avoiding what are called neural tube defects. So when you're trying to have kids supplement yourself with folic acid, it's good for reducing homocysteine levels, which may improve your cholesterol metabolism and the way cholesterol is used by your body. But the thinking that it somehow enhances your sex drive is people trying to sell you vitamins. That's bizarre, all right?

12:08 Adam All right. Well, thank you.

12:09 Drew Drew, late in on you, Adam. See you later. All right. It's 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Stryker along with Dr. Drew. I'm filling in for Ace Rockolla, my main man mayonnaise. Nathan.

12:18 Stryker That's my main man mayonnaise.

12:20 Drew Exactly. You're 26.

12:22 Caller What's up?

12:22 Drew What's up?

12:23 Caller Dude, am I on the right station? Yeah. Yeah. I thought I got transferred to TNN or something, man. Why? Dude, like, you know, Satan there. Oh, yeah.

12:31 Drew Yeah, seriously.

12:33 Caller But anyway, all right, man. I got this girlfriend, right?

12:36 Drew Yeah. How many?

12:37 Caller What's that?

12:38 Drew Go ahead.

12:39 Caller Her name's, you know, Carolyn, right?

12:43 Drew Of course it is.

12:44 Caller Whatever.

12:44 Drew She lives in the Niagara Falls area.

12:46 Caller No. Dude, we're from California, right? I show up from work. We've been dating for about six months. And I show up from work about, you know, 15 minutes late. OK? Like every night.

12:59 Drew Watch the language, Nathan. Nathan?

13:03 Stryker Come on, Asher, give us back.

13:06 Drew What?

13:06 Stryker Nathan, you can't use four S words and F words on the radio.

13:09 Drew Because they're going to throw me out of this joint so quick I'll make your head spin, which could be a good thing for you, Nathan, but you don't swear.

13:15 Stryker We only allow one.

13:15 Caller I promised that girl who let me in that I wasn't going to swear.

13:18 Stryker And there we go. Now, if you break that promise again, you're off. So go.

13:21 Caller All right. Here we go.

13:22 Here's my language.

13:23 Caller I show up from work about 15 minutes late. And I walk in, I'm like, hey, what's up? And all of a sudden she's got like a kitchen knife in her hand. She goes, who you been blanking?

13:35 Right.

13:35 Caller Right. And I'm, and I'm like, yo, you know, you said, yo.

13:40 Yeah.

13:40 Caller Well, I looked at it. That's exactly what I said, too. Right. I was like, you know, what's up? What are you talking about? You're late. I know you've been in somebody's house. And this is the worst it's ever been. Right.

13:51 Drew You guys work at the same joint?

13:52 Caller No, no. Oh, I work with her friend, Aaron. Right. Okay. And that's who she thinks that I'm messing with? Yeah. So what up with that? I mean, I'm, you know, I've been, I've been dating with this girl and like we're totally in love and, and, and, you know, that's what I think.

14:09 Stryker Was she drinking?

14:10 Caller Was she drinking? No, she doesn't drink. She doesn't do drugs. She doesn't do nothing.

14:13 Stryker Well, you got a pretty big problem in her hands, huh?

14:15 Caller I'm the one who drinks.

14:16 Drew Have you done anything before this 15 minutes late, supposedly, that led her to believe that you're some, you know, scandalous dude?

14:22 Stryker No. What did she do with the knife?

14:24 Drew With the knife?

14:26 Caller Well, she had it in her hand, right? And, you know, it was like she was acting like she was doing dinner, but I knew what she was up to. And I calmed her down and got it in her hand and, you know, talked to her about it. But, I mean, I'm fearing for my life.

14:40 Drew Well, why don't you just get rid of her then?

14:42 Stryker She sounds like an abuser. People who are abusive do that kind of stuff.

14:45 Caller Yeah, but I don't know. I mean, I'm thinking like it's something I did.

14:49 Stryker That's what people who are abused often think. They feel responsible for the other person's feelings.

14:53 Caller Whoa, am I playing the...

14:55 Stryker Yeah, you're the abused wife.

14:56 Caller Yeah, that ain't cool.

14:58 Drew Hey, Mrs. Nathan?

14:59 Caller Exactly. So what do I do?

15:02 Drew Well, there's a couple of choices, I'm sure.

15:04 Stryker I think there's really only two. One is...

15:06 Drew Leave.

15:07 Stryker Leave, and secondly, she gets treatment of some type or an evaluation before...

15:11 Caller I've talked to her about talking to somebody or...

15:14 Stryker Yeah, but now it's becoming...

15:15 Caller Talking to somebody, but she's like, she's like, no, no, no, no, you just need to be faithful. And she's got no clue. I mean, I only like her.

15:24 Stryker Did her dad cheat on her mom?

15:26 Caller What's that?

15:27 Stryker Did her dad cheat on her mom?

15:29 Caller You know, I don't know that.

15:31 Stryker It almost is irrelevant, because the magnet...

15:33 Caller She did tell me about a couple ex-boyfriends that she had that just totally cheated on her, make her feel like the fool.

15:41 Stryker Yeah, but she picked that kind of guy. Now she's... Right, now she dates you, now she starts abusing you for not being that guy.

15:47 Caller But these are her words to me. You're the best man, the greatest person I've ever dated.

15:53 Drew Smallest penis.

15:54 Caller You were there for me. And then all of a sudden I come home with this knife stuff.

15:58 Stryker Yeah, well that's all true. But again, people who are the victims often become the victimizers. So you really need to...

16:06 Caller I just don't feel... I feel like leaving would be like paying the punk world, man. I'd just be like...

16:09 Stryker All right, get her some treatment, Nathan. That's it. Those are really your only choices. It's not like there's any in between on this one.

16:13 Caller Leave.

16:14 Drew I wouldn't even go get treated. Too much to deal with, it seems. Like pulling a knife? It's not like she threw a doughnut at him.

16:18 Stryker You know, he wants to...

16:21 Drew Exactly. It's a man over there, Val.

16:23 Caller Hi.

16:24 Drew What's up? You're 22 and you are on this show, Loveline.

16:27 Caller Hi there.

16:27 Caller I have got a message. Excuse me, I have to switch phones. I've got a message of warning for all the underage girls that keep dating overage guys. I got involved with several relationships that were very emotionally abusive to me, and the good ones I ended up screwing over inadvertently.

16:44 Stryker Well, this is just like the last caller we had, right?

16:49 Caller Very similar, only I figured out over time what these 20-something-year-old guys were doing to me, and as a result, I'm now single.

16:58 Drew Val, you are scaring me.

17:00 Stryker Yeah, well, what these 27-year-old guys are doing is trying to get laid. That's all they're interested in. You are an object, and that's it. They want to use you for that, and that's that. Well, yeah, I could be a long-time real man.

17:10 Caller I gotta warn those girls. They don't know what they're getting into.

17:13 Stryker They're profoundly flawed. Now, how do you get a 15-year-old who's thinking the way you were thinking to listen to people like you who are old 22-year-olds that they really don't want to hear from?

17:24 Caller I had a major, I developed a major drug problem later on as a result.

17:31 Stryker Not as a result, by the way. Not as a result.

17:33 Caller Well, a lot of these guys, one of these women, rather, want to try to save these guys. And I got to tell you, there is no saving these guys.

17:41 Drew How about the guy that just called in and got a knife pulled on him from the innocent woman?

17:44 Stryker Well, the saving thing is when you've had an addict or abusive dad and you want to try to make that right.

17:51 Caller Oh, yeah. Like I said, I had some therapy and it took me some time. My dad is a reformed alcoholic.

17:56 Stryker Right, there you go. He doesn't drink anymore, though. Yeah, but when you were a child, that was what you thought of as your dad. Those were the traumas and ruptures you suffered and those go with you into your adolescent life and you try to fix those in your peers, make that right once and for all, that becomes a source of attraction for you. And that's it.

18:11 Drew And Val just gave us our PSA for the night.

18:14 Stryker Which is?

18:15 Drew Young girls, stay away from the old men because they'll destroy you and you get a drug problem later on, so Val says. Lee, my main man, Mayonnaise. Yo, what's up, dude? You're 24 on Loveline.

18:26 Stryker Hey, what's up? Can I just start by saying Dr. Drew, I've been in the Meijer for a long time.

18:31 Stryker Thanks, Lee. Where are you from?

18:33 Stryker Ohio.

18:34 Stryker Whereabouts?

18:35 Stryker Fairborn, Dayton.

18:36 Stryker Dayton, Ohio?

18:37 Stryker Yeah.

18:38 Stryker Good times. What's up?

18:39 Stryker Well, you know, I'm 24 now, college graduate. I graduated last year. And I've been having problems, like trying to relate to women. It's kind of a weird thing because you know, I'm black. And it's like, you know, I've been on boards, you know, throughout my tenure in college, you know, have to excuse me, I'm a little nervous. Throughout my tenure in college, I've been on boards, you know, for diversity and everything like that. You know, I've met a wide range of people. But you know, throughout my life, I've always dated inside my race. But you know, the few relationships that I have that lasted a while, they've always ended badly, everything is always going wrong.

19:28 Drew So what's the question, Lee?

19:29 Stryker Well, the question is, you know, I'm thinking about dating outside my race because now it's getting to a point where every time I look, I find, I guess the basic question is, you know, I'm finding myself with more and more animosity towards women of my own race because, you know, every time, you know, there's just always some stupid stuff that seems to go down every time I try.

19:52 Stryker Give us an exam. What happened to the last relationship?

19:54 Stryker Last relationship was a cousin of a friend. Something happened, you know, it wasn't totally unexpected, man. We dated, you know, for a while or whatnot. You know, she gave me vibes all of a sudden.

20:09 Drew Well, what happened at the end that's making you want to stop dating?

20:13 Stryker I wouldn't say that it was the last relationship in particular that was stopping me. It's just something, you know, I don't know what it is exactly that's bothering me. You know, it's just...

20:26 Stryker Well, here's the deal. There's certainly nothing wrong with you dating brown, green, yellow, whatever, whatever how you wish. That's great. However, if you are attracted to people who tend to cause chaos in relationships, no matter what color they are, that's what you're going to find.

20:46 Drew And I think it's weird.

20:47 Stryker It may have a different package, but you're going to find your way to that.

20:49 Drew Lee, to me when you say I'm thinking of dating outside my race, I don't know if Drew is trying to get this also, but do you choose, okay, for now on, I'm only going to look for white girls when I go to the bar.

20:58 Stryker I mean, like if I go out, It's really the same thing drug addicts do when they go, I got to get out of Los Angeles. I'm moving to Dayton. And they go to Dayton, and guess what? They keep doing drugs. They find the drugs there, Drew. They find the drug addicts. And that's what people do. And so, you know, go ahead and experiment. That's great. But, I don't know, I think you have to look real carefully at what it is you're going for.

21:20 Stryker Yeah, it's not like I want to make it sound so clinical as much as, you know, it's just one of those things. Oh, okay, I'm close to several females, you know, my own race and everything. And, you know, we talk a whole lot. But every time that subject's brought up, you know, they get kind of touchy about it and this and that.

21:37 Stryker About you dating somebody other than an African American?

21:40 Stryker Oh, no, I'm not dating anybody.

21:41 Stryker No, but they get touchy about you dating someone other than that, okay.

21:44 Stryker Yes, yeah, yeah. They get, you know, they get kind of like, it's kind of a sore point with them, you know. So then I'm like, oh, okay, maybe I should, you know, maybe I should just, you know, maybe I should give more people, more people attention.

21:55 Stryker You should, you have to evaluate, you have to evaluate what you find attractive and really look carefully at that. And the things that are attractive to you, you may learn not to pursue.

22:07 Stryker Yeah, man, cause I mean, physically, you know, I just love women.

22:09 Stryker That's good.

22:10 Stryker You know.

22:11 Stryker Yes, I agree.

22:13 Stryker That's the thing, but, you know, it's just more on a mental perspective.

22:18 Stryker I think you're still 24. You're going to figure this out. Drew, just don't blame it on.

22:23 Drew I want to give, I want to tell Lee a few things about the white girls, though. Lee, of course they say that, you know, the one expression about black girls, once you're there, you don't go back, right?

22:33 Stryker Right.

22:33 Drew Right. When you start, you know, trying the white girls, you're going to see a couple of things that you may, you know, not want to go back to the other. I wish I could, I can't say it right now. Lee is going to have to go out in Dayton.

22:45 Stryker What the hell are you talking about?

22:46 Drew And find out what it is.

22:48 Stryker I got to find out, too. What are you talking about?

22:51 BJs.

22:52 Stryker Oh, that's, yeah, the oral sex thing. Yeah.

22:54 Stryker Oh, okay. Yeah.

22:55 Stryker Right.

22:55 Right.

22:56 Stryker But the problem is, though, all Lee here has got to reciprocate.

22:59 Stryker Right.

22:59 Stryker And that may not be his.

23:00 Drew Oh, yeah. Lee, what about you? Do you do that, Lee?

23:03 Stryker No problem with that, man.

23:04 Drew See? Oh, you're going to be golden. You're going to be golden, my friend. Well, hey, I guess we're going to end this real quick, but if you start dating a white girl and it ends badly like it did with the black girls, maybe look at yourself more than the girls.

23:15 Stryker Yeah, you might want to look into it with some treatment.

23:16 Stryker Can I ask Dr. Drew one more quick question?

23:18 Stryker Yeah, Lee, real quick.

23:19 Stryker Dr. Drew, of course, we all know about the terrorism and everything that's been going on all week. Oh, well, the last several weeks, I really should say. You know, I'm, like I said before, I'm 24, just graduated from college last year. I really, last year, year and a half.

23:40 Caller Oh, go ahead, go ahead. Come on, Lee.

23:43 Stryker Last year and a half, you know, I've been really just kind of trying to find my way and everything. Now I'm like really, really upset and fighting about the perspective of the world.

23:53 Stryker Yes.

23:54 Stryker You know, where this thing is going.

23:56 Stryker Yes.

23:56 Stryker Open-ended war.

23:57 Stryker I'm with you.

23:58 Stryker Five to eight years, you know.

24:00 Stryker And I listen.

24:01 Stryker Early on, I was thinking, you know, OK, hey, get out of college, good times, you know.

24:05 Stryker Yeah.

24:05 Stryker Go out, party, you know, have fun, find my career, find the woman I want to be with. With everything now, you know, it's like, you know, are we going to go to war? Am I going to get drafted? What's going to happen next?

24:16 Stryker Interestingly, Lee, you're the first caller that's actually brought it up in that context, which is, am I going to have to go to war even though I'm not in the military? Is it going to affect my future? And I really think as much as anything, Lee, that is sort of the stage we're at now in terms of how we're dealing with the events in the world. We've gotten over the shock. We're sort of managing our feelings about it. Now we're trying to assess our lives and the way the future is going to be and the way history is going to unfold before us. And that's normal and that's healthy and it's painful and it's a pain in the ass, but it is reality and we're all dealing with that now.

24:46 Drew It's really scary. You watch CNN and on the bottom and it says like whatever country and Bin Laden says this, don't even try to attack us because if you do, you guys really have something coming. And you read stuff like that and you're like, Jesus. So we need to step up. Hopefully we're going to do something soon, but we've got to find out exactly who we're going to get. And then, but Bush, I mean, I wasn't, didn't like the guy that much, but now I think he's doing actually a really good job. And of course that mayor of New York, my God, that guy's amazing. Isn't he? Yeah, he's really cool. All right. We have to take a quick break. I am Stryker for Adam Corolla along with Dr. Drew. More Loveline.

25:17 Stryker Hold on.

25:19 Caller Loveline. We'll be right back.

25:56 Drew Hello, we are back. It is Loveline. I am the Stryker here with Dr. Drew. Ace Rockolla will be back on Sunday. I mentioned, I know, I mentioned yesterday I had the dream about us being on the Hollywood Squares, and then we'll take Drew and Stryker for the block. I was hoping last night I would dream about Family Feud, like the Pinsky family, with Dr. Drew, Stryker as the adopted son, the wife, the triplets, the whole nine. I love the Family Feud. The survey says, no, we're not gonna go on the Family Feud.

26:21 Stryker No, not unless Richard Dawson comes back from the dead.

26:23 Drew No, because he makes out with, he's not dead. Richard Dawson, the poor guy after him, committed suicide. Is Richard Dawson dead too? No, no, no, no.

26:31 Stryker I thought he was gone too.

26:32 Drew No, Ray Combs.

26:33 Stryker Yeah, Ray Combs, the congressman.

26:35 Drew Yeah, oh god, that was terrible. I saw the True Hollywood Squares.

26:37 Stryker What happened to Richard Dawson? Why is he still doing it?

26:39 Drew He's 106, I don't know. He made out with everyone, didn't he?

26:44 Caller I don't know, if we had internet, I'd go on and check it out, but we don't.

26:46 Drew We don't have internet here?

26:48 Stryker It's Westwood 1, dude, relax.

26:50 We have it out there.

26:51 Drew Okay, good.

26:52 Stryker Sam?

26:54 Yeah?

26:54 Drew What's up? You're 15 on Loveline.

26:56 Caller Oh, yeah, hey.

26:57 Well, this is the thing. There's this girl at my school I like, and she doesn't really know that, and I don't know really how to approach her, and there's a kid who also goes to my school, and he's starting to hit on her.

27:08 Stryker Is she responding?

27:10 I'm sorry?

27:10 Drew Is she responding to this other guy hitting on her?

27:13 Yeah, she is. Kind of, but not really.

27:17 Drew Well, if you don't make the move, if she likes him, you're out.

27:20 Yeah, I don't know how to approach her, though.

27:22 Stryker Do you talk to her? Do you have a relationship with her?

27:24 Yeah, I talk to her. I don't think she knows that I'm interested.

27:28 Stryker Why don't you start bringing up topics like movies or things you like to do, and if you sort of see a green light that she wants to do, that kind of likes to do, you ought to go, hey, why don't we do something like that? And just kind of toss it out and see where it goes. Believe me, if she is interested, she will latch onto that like a pit bull.

27:43 Drew You're 15, right? Ask her her favorite store in the mall, and she'll be like, uh, Forever 21. And you'll be like, man, you know, I live right by Santa Monica Place. You want to go to Forever 21 on Saturday, and then we'll get the ultimate frozen yogurt together? And after that, my parents are away, we can make Matt, no, we can't say that part, though. Sam, you got to sack up and just, as Drew said, don't make it blatantly obvious, but ask her what she likes, her foods, the mall stuff, and you're in. Let me know what happens after you do it.

28:14 Caller Yeah, sure. I had one other quick question for Drew.

28:16 Stryker Yeah.

28:17 Caller Like, I remember like a year ago, Adam was saying he was like getting engaged or whatever.

28:22 Stryker Yeah, that was about two years ago.

28:25 Caller Whatever happened with that?

28:26 Stryker Well, that didn't work out, and then he's back with her now and everything is cool. You're gay. I think what's gonna happen here, you know what's gonna happen, he's gonna come in one day and just be married. Seriously, that's what's gonna happen. He's not gonna tell anybody, he'll be married for like six months, and go, yeah, yeah, I did that about six months ago.

28:41 Stryker No, I have a girlfriend.

28:42 Drew Hey, Sam.

28:42 Caller No, we're very much in love.

28:44 Stryker But that's what's gonna happen.

28:45 Drew Have you been on a date before, Sam?

28:47 Caller No, I haven't.

28:47 Drew Oh, you're gonna be miserable on it. I'm just kidding, it'll be fine. All right, you'll do good, my friend. All right, and stay away from the pier.

28:54 Caller Okay.

28:54 Drew All right, later.

28:54 Stryker Take her to the big clown.

28:55 Drew The big clown?

28:56 Stryker The dancing clown.

28:57 Drew What's the dancing clown?

28:58 Stryker The apartment building that has a huge clown and a tutu, right?

29:02 Drew Drew, you hang out at the wrong places.

29:03 Stryker You know what I'm talking about, in Venice?

29:05 Drew No. Oh, in Venice? I still don't know. Jessica.

29:08 Adam Hello.

29:08 Drew What's up? You're 19 on Loveline.

29:11 Adam Hi. Okay. I get really paranoid if someone holds me. I want to know if it's because I got raped in February.

29:22 Stryker When? February.

29:23 Adam In February.

29:24 Stryker And how long have you been having these feelings of...

29:28 Adam It hasn't happened like when people like try to hold me.

29:31 Stryker But you didn't have that before that?

29:32 Caller No.

29:33 Stryker And you've never been victimized prior to that? Excuse me? You've never been victimized prior to that?

29:39 Adam No.

29:40 Stryker Nothing ever happened to you as a child?

29:42 Adam Yeah. I got sex abuse. I like to do.

29:46 Drew So something so you were victimized before February?

29:48 Adam Yes. I'm sorry.

29:50 Stryker And so after somebody is traumatized, it often sort of resurrects all those old feelings from whatever happened originally. The original drama.

29:59 Adam Well, it's kind of the story. I got raped. My family, my sisters, couldn't hold me back if they got close to me.

30:07 Stryker I know because you were abused as a child. And that's not an uncommon reaction to someone that has been victimized and held against their will and held down and horribly abused. It's awful.

30:16 Drew Who was the a-hole that did this, Jessica? Someone you know or random?

30:19 Adam A guy from high school.

30:22 Drew A guy from where?

30:22 Stryker No, from high school. From high school? Why weren't you treated for the sexual abuse?

30:28 Adam Because I hadn't talked about it with anyone.

30:31 Stryker All right. You need to talk to someone. And a good way to get a post-traumatic stress disorder, which is what you're basically describing now, is to have a trauma, feel powerless, that resurrects some previous victimization. And now here you are with a bunch of symptoms you can't-

30:43 Adam Well, like, I tried because I started cutting myself.

30:46 Stryker All right. Jessica, are you going to get some help or not? This can get awful.

30:50 Adam I tried, but they wanted to put me in, like, false craving.

30:54 Stryker Wait, listen, slow down and speak clearly.

30:57 Drew Put you in false what?

30:58 Adam Like, okay, because I wanted to get help, and I showed one of the doctors because they have some cuts on my arms, and they're like, treating me like I was craving. They were going to put me in a mental hospital.

31:12 Drew Well, if that's what you need for the long run, Jessica, you're going to be so much better. Now you're cutting yourself.

31:17 Stryker Cutting is not exactly the most sane thing you can do, right?

31:19 Drew Or freaking out when you get hugged.

31:21 Stryker And so it's time to get some help. The idea of the mental hospital is just to give you some very, very intensive care so you can really be stabilized and get out and feel better. As opposed to them trying to sort of limp along as an outpatient, you really get some work done intensively.

31:34 Drew And there's nothing wrong with that. The guy in the band Weezer was locked up in the mental place just a few weeks ago. You'll be fine. Do you know how to find some help?

31:44 Adam Yeah.

31:45 Stryker Go back to the doctors. Go back to the...

31:47 Adam I want my family to know.

31:50 Drew Do you live with them?

31:51 Adam Yeah, they're with my mom.

31:53 Stryker Your family needs to know. They need to be able to support you. They need to be able to address this with you. Everyone needs some help with this. And they need to be available to you in a realistic way. Hiding it from them does not help you.

32:04 Drew Or not getting help. You're going to be done if you don't get help. Alright?

32:07 Stryker Alright. Go back. Goodbye. Go back to the caretakers.

32:11 Drew Hey, man. David?

32:14 Yeah.

32:15 Drew What's up? You're 18.

32:16 Caller Hey, about two months ago, I joined the military. And in about two months...

32:21 Drew Good timing.

32:22 Caller Huh?

32:23 Drew Go ahead.

32:23 Caller Oh.

32:24 Caller In about two months, I'm going to be leaving for basic training.

32:27 Get on your knees, scumbag!

32:30 Caller But I'm interested in this girl that I know. And I was wondering if I should tell her how I felt.

32:36 Stryker Why not?

32:38 Caller I don't know. I really was unsure if I should have talked to her about it.

32:42 Stryker You mean because it would be unfair to her to start to open up a motion like that, or just because you're afraid? Why? What are you afraid of?

32:48 Caller Well, I really didn't know if I should, like...

32:50 Drew Open that can of worms, Rob, right before you leave?

32:53 Caller Yeah. And then, like, leave and, you know, not be able to, like, just say we got in a relationship, and I left and, you know, went somewhere else. I don't know how the relationship would probably go.

33:03 Stryker Well, it's certainly going to go nowhere if you don't tell her.

33:06 Caller Okay.

33:06 Drew There's no need to tell her. You're leaving in two months anyway.

33:08 Stryker But what is the downside of saying, hey, I like you, I want to hang out with you?

33:11 Drew Because if she says, all right, fine, I like you, too, this guy's going to be dying when he's doing 50 pushups for Gover Potts.

33:18 Stryker That's going to happen either way. That's going either way. Why can't he have a little, you know, something meaningful in the meantime?

33:24 Drew There's a jelly donut in your footlocker pot.

33:28 Stryker Well, here's how they really talk to you.

33:30 Stryker I want you to address me in a clear, present tone. Not the voice you used to con drug money off your liberal parents.

33:37 Stryker No, a little differently. It's sort of like this.

33:39 Stryker You got another question, Wado? Bring it on. Hurry up. Hurry up. Get out of my face right now. Push, push, push, you nasty dung. Semper Fi.

33:49 Stryker Motivate. Those are the boot camp.

33:52 Drew Did someone call someone Wado in there? That means white boy.

33:54 Stryker No, these were the sergeants, the drill sergeants from boot camp, the TV show.

33:59 Drew I heard them on the Loveline show. That was good. David, I don't even know where we're going with this at this point.

34:05 Stryker But I would say I don't see any downside in just being honest. Obviously, you're going to be careful with your feelings. You're not going to mislead her. You're going to be very honest and see what happens. Be careful.

34:14 Drew I hope she likes it. I hope you make it back and can start something with her.

34:18 Stryker Just enjoy the next couple of months together a little. It's all right.

34:21 Stryker Don't put a jelly donut in your footlocker pile.

34:24 Drew Goodbye, David.

34:24 There is no racial bigotry here.

34:28 Drew Megan, what's up? You're 18 on Loveline.

34:32 Caller I've had a hard year and most of it actually is because when I was four days after my 18th birthday, my father called me up. That was the first time I had heard from him in, I would have to say, 10, 11 years. I've never met the guy face to face at that point. I was in counseling. I still am actually. None of it is really helping. I'm not sure how to deal with it.

34:59 Drew You started counseling after he called you when you were after your 18th birthday?

35:04 Caller Yeah. And it's not really helping.

35:09 Drew What is it you think you need help with? Is he back in your life? Are you seeing the guy now or is your dad just calling you?

35:14 Caller I've seen him twice.

35:16 Drew And this is making you not like it very much, I take it.

35:19 Caller Well, it started out before I was born because he was a drug addict. And very abusive to my mother. He actually threw a hammer at her when...

35:29 Stryker Yeah. So what does it have to do with him surfacing all of a sudden? What difference does that make?

35:33 Drew Maybe she won the lottery.

35:35 Stryker What does that make?

35:36 Caller It turned my life upside down.

35:38 Stryker Why?

35:38 Caller I'm not sure how to deal with it.

35:40 Stryker Well, you're not dealing with it. You don't see him.

35:42 Caller I had...

35:44 Stryker You said you've seen him twice since he resurfaced, right?

35:46 Caller Right.

35:47 Stryker Well, it's not like he's living in your house. Well, why did it turn your life upside down?

35:51 Caller Because I'd gotten used to the fact that I'd never met my dad and I never would have. And he just turned up right before I had to go to work.

35:57 Stryker Yeah, but that's BS. You have a dad. You have all kinds of awful feelings about him. He just buried those feelings. That's all what's sitting there already. Him showing up didn't somehow cause some trauma. It just made you... It just brought the issue to the surface, made you deal with these things you were carrying around.

36:12 Drew What was going on with you before he showed up? Because that seems a little overreactionary to your dad calls you, which is a shock, but then to...

36:19 Stryker No, it's not.

36:19 Drew Sounds like you're really in a funk right now.

36:21 Stryker No, she was already in a funk.

36:22 Drew Right, well, okay, that's what I'm asking.

36:23 Stryker And the reason the therapy isn't working is because the therapy to deal with the kinds of trauma that you've been through takes a long time. And has the therapist suggested you get on some medication?

36:35 Caller Yeah, I don't remember what it's called, but I'm on some antidepressants right now.

36:40 Stryker Have you been following up on that and making sure that's properly adjusted?

36:43 Caller Yeah.

36:43 Drew You sound pretty peachy to me.

36:45 Stryker So that's what needs to happen, but this is not... You didn't somehow rupture because your dad showed up. You've had them carrying around with all these awful feelings your whole life, and just seeing him...

36:56 Drew This thing sped it up.

36:56 Stryker It just brought that to the surface and made you deal with it a little bit, and it's about time. But it's a long, long process to sort through that kind of trauma. Okay.

37:05 Drew All right.

37:06 Stryker Hang in there. Thanks.

37:07 Drew You'll be all right. 1-800-LOVE-191 is the phone number. If you want to get in here, we have to take a quick break. That's Dr. Drew. I would be Stryker for Adam Corolla, and we'll get back to more Loveline after this, but when we get back, we're going to speak to this guy.

37:20 Stryker Joe.

37:21 Drew His name is Joe, and he gets an erection out of nowhere.

37:25 Good time.

37:27 Drew He's my close brother. We'll be back. Love Line, Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew. He sits right to my left. I am Stryker in for Adam Corolla, and I want to speak to Joe in a second, who gets an erection out of nowhere, which seems normal, he's only 18. But I got to look at a bunch of the Love Line emails today, because I was at Ann Wingold's place. Me and my boyfriend have been sexually active for about 8 months, and he's never gotten me to orgasm.

38:26 Stryker How old is she?

38:27 Drew Doesn't say, but I assume 16. Listen, you've got to hear this. I've never done it before. He says, I had an orgasm because I've never gotten myself off. I've never masturbated. He tells me that if I want to get off, I have to do it myself first before he can make me do it. I was wondering if he is right.

38:47 Stryker There's something bizarre and true about that.

38:52 Drew If there's anything he or myself can do to help me orgasm, like different positions.

38:56 Stryker Oral sex, that is the answer.

38:58 Drew Him on her. Carrie, if you're listening.

39:02 Stryker The sort of prevailing wisdom is that if she figured out how she worked, if she could masturbate and make herself do orgasm, then she could tell him what to do.

39:10 Drew Yes.

39:11 Stryker Nice.

39:11 Drew But it's just so funny because I could just see the guy. I know. If you could, it's not me, if you could just use your finger to yourself, then I could do it with my eyes closed.

39:20 Caller Oh, that's so funny.

39:21 Caller I love that.

39:22 Drew Oh, man. From one erection to another. Joe.

39:25 Stryker Yeah.

39:26 Drew Do you work in a strip club?

39:27 Stryker No.

39:27 Drew Okay. Then why do you get an erection at work out of nowhere?

39:30 Stryker I really have no idea.

39:31 Drew What do you do? Where do you work?

39:33 Stryker I really would rather not say.

39:34 Stryker Stryker. What? You never got erections like in math class or history class when you were 17, 16?

39:40 Drew I have one right now.

39:40 Stryker That's the point.

39:41 Drew And by the way, the last 32 times I've flown on an airplane, takeoff, erection.

39:45 Stryker It's the vibration from the air.

39:46 Drew No, I do it purposely. Every single time we take off.

39:50 Stryker You have the ninja erectile function?

39:53 Drew Whoever's sitting next to me, whether it's a stranger, my lady, my friend Larry, touch my thigh a little bit, please, before I take off.

39:59 Stryker You induce the erection. Do you hear about Adam falling asleep on the plane getting an erection?

40:02 Drew Wait, do what happen?

40:03 Stryker He fell asleep last flight. He hadn't gotten an erection. Woke up with everyone staring.

40:08 Stryker Do you want me to give like an example?

40:11 Stryker Yeah, go ahead.

40:12 Stryker Like, okay, let's just say like part of my job is I drive. So like I'm driving, okay, and then I have to get out and then do like my normal job. Like, I'll be sitting there and I'll be driving and also, I think maybe what I've been thinking about is like, I just get comfortable, really comfortable or something like that, maybe that has something to do with it.

40:33 Stryker Yeah.

40:34 Stryker So I'm like really relaxed or something like that.

40:36 Stryker Really relaxed and then you know where an 18-year-old minds goes immediately.

40:39 Stryker Really?

40:40 Stryker Yeah, of course.

40:40 Drew What do you deliver, Joe? Pies?

40:42 Stryker No, I don't deliver. Okay. I'd really rather not say.

40:44 Drew You don't have to say.

40:45 Stryker Anyway, here's the good news and the bad news, Joe. This will go away soon enough. You don't have to worry about it. About 10, 12 years, you're going to be begging for this again.

40:57 Stryker I hope not. It's just like my job is like I'm so straight. Believe me, I'm like really straight. But like I work with just like my little area. It's just guys that.

41:07 Stryker You're gay.

41:08 Stryker I'm not gay. Believe me. Believe you me, I'm not gay. I'm a big fan of women. But like it's just really uncomfortable because like I'll just be working, doing my normal paperwork. And you know, I don't, it's not like I'm sitting down all the time because like I work like at like a counter kind of. So like I'll be doing all my paperwork and everything. And then I'll just, you know.

41:29 Stryker You may be straight, but your penis.

41:31 Drew Your penis has a mind of its own, as they say, Joe.

41:33 Stryker I try. I try to keep that one on.

41:35 Stryker Just relax, Joe. It's fine.

41:36 Drew Yeah, you're fine.

41:36 Stryker Normal.

41:37 Caller Normal.

41:38 Stryker This like anything I can do.

41:40 Stryker Yeah, wear like heavy denim pants.

41:42 Drew Wear really tight sweatpants with tight underwear. You'll look golden.

41:46 Stryker No, the sweatpants. Well, that's where it goes.

41:48 Drew Joe, I'm sitting next to Dr. Drew right now. I'm straight. I got an erection. Okay.

41:51 Really?

41:52 Drew Yeah. I'll see you later, man.

41:53 How gay are you?

41:54 Drew Not that gay for Christ's sake, Brian.

41:57 Yeah.

41:57 Drew You're 26.

41:58 Caller Yep.

41:58 Drew What's up?

41:59 Caller Man, I have had the hardest time in my life, holding the job for a long period of time. I don't know. It could go back to when I was younger, I was diagnosed with ADD, but I haven't been on medication since I was 18.

42:14 Stryker Well, ADD is just a... Is your family history of alcoholism in it?

42:18 Caller Well, see, I don't know. I was adopted. I have no idea about my family history.

42:21 Stryker That's kind of a positive history when kids are adopted. That's very commonly the case that somebody is an alcoholic, right?

42:27 Caller Right.

42:28 Stryker So, ADD with addiction is just addiction, so...

42:31 Caller Right. And I don't drink now, but my problem is I smoke a lot of pot.

42:34 Stryker Well, that's addiction.

42:35 Caller Okay.

42:36 Caller And I just wonder, you know, does that have anything to do with it? Because I can, I mean, like, seriously, the last job I had, I had for, you know, a month, I was getting paid really well and I got a paycheck and that was it. I just decided not to go back.

42:47 Stryker Well, I don't know that that's necessarily weed. People using a lot of weed have difficulty sort of completing tasks and initiating tasks. So things like getting a job are difficult. Getting your resume out. But continuing to go to a structure that's already there, most marijuana addicts can maintain that.

43:04 Caller Yeah, see, and I don't have a problem getting a job. I can get a job like nothing.

43:07 Stryker Yeah. So some reason you just, you sort of, you can't stick with it.

43:11 Caller Yeah, you know, and it's at the point in my life where I need to, you know, I've got a girlfriend, you know, I'm like madly in love with. You know, I have a three-year-old daughter, you know.

43:20 Stryker What was the last job you quit? What was the last job you quit?

43:24 Caller Last job I quit, I was a manager at a seafood counter.

43:27 Stryker Yeah, well, maybe you just don't like these jobs.

43:31 Caller You know, and I don't know, it's not like I don't hate them, you know, consciously maybe because I've always enjoyed the jobs and working with the people I've worked with. It's just.

43:39 Stryker Do you get frightened when things start going well for you? Do you have to always have a little chaos, a little problem, a little trouble?

43:46 Caller Yeah, maybe a little bit. You know, I don't know, it just kind of messes me up.

43:50 Stryker Like some people really can't tolerate doing well. Really?

43:54 Drew Weed or no weed, they can't tolerate it?

43:56 Stryker It causes all kinds of unpleasant feelings of impending abandonment and powerlessness.

44:01 Caller Yeah, I mean, is there anything I can do to get this checked out?

44:04 Stryker Well, I mean, people miraculously, people that practice a program of recovery have no problems like this. They start through all that stuff. The issue of whether or not the weed is contributing, is taken care of and you grow and you examine these things and magically things seem to go well for people in recovery. So that would be the cheapest way for you to take care of this.

44:23 Drew Hey, Brian, do you want to quit smoking or you like it too much?

44:26 Caller You know, I do but I don't.

44:28 Caller It's like a catch-22.

44:29 Caller I really don't.

44:30 Stryker When you're ready, when you've had enough of this, it costs nothing. Just go to MA program, get a sponsor and start working.

44:36 Drew And get back to the Red Lobster, man.

44:38 Caller Yeah.

44:38 Drew All right, Brian.

44:39 Caller All right, man. Thanks.

44:40 Stryker All right, see you later.

44:41 Drew All right, let's go to Ben here. Ben, what's up, man? You're 20.

44:46 Caller Yeah.

44:47 Drew What's going on?

44:49 Caller I was just wondering, like, I want to settle down. I feel like I'm at a point in my life where I want to settle down.

44:58 Drew Good for you, Ben.

44:59 Caller How's that?

45:00 Stryker Good times.

45:02 Caller Yeah. And I'll get with a girl that I think I can totally like and everything like that. And then I'll have sex with her.

45:09 Caller And then I don't want anything to do with her.

45:12 Drew That happened. I think that happens to most guys.

45:14 Stryker No.

45:15 Drew I don't work here. No, it doesn't.

45:17 Stryker It happens to some guys. This is that I would never want to be a member of a club that would have me as a member. This is envy. This is one of the more destructive human emotions, which is I gotta have that. But by virtue of me having it, it spoils. It's spoiled.

45:31 Drew Don't you grow out of it? You grow out of that, though.

45:32 Stryker Not necessarily. Some guys have some of that. Some guys have a big dose of that. And Ben sounds like he's got his fair share of envy. And so, Ben, where does that come from? I don't know. What is it about women that when they submit to you, they're spoiled, ruined? I don't know.

45:54 Caller Maybe everybody in my family is married pretty much. And maybe I kind of feel like there's pressure on me to get married or?

46:02 Stryker No. No, no, no. Something far more substantial. But we don't know. You're going to have to figure this out. It's something very fundamental to do with your feelings about women. And there's some real aggression there.

46:15 Drew How often you getting these women, Ben?

46:19 Caller I better not tell you that.

46:20 Stryker How often? Is it every week, every night, every year?

46:23 Caller About every weekend.

46:24 Stryker Every weekend, somebody different.

46:25 Drew A different girl.

46:26 Stryker Are you, is there addiction in your family?

46:29 Caller Um, no. Actually, no.

46:30 Stryker Because were you ever sexually abused or anything like that?

46:33 Caller No.

46:34 Stryker So I wonder if it's a sexual complication.

46:34 Drew So you don't even take them on dates. You go to a bar, you pick up, you have sex, and then you don't bother calling, correct? Or is it girls that you date, date, date, finally they sleep with you and then you're done?

46:44 Caller Sometimes, yeah. Like we'll go on like three or four dates and then we'll sleep together.

46:48 Caller And then pretty much that's it.

46:51 Drew You've seen this, Drew. I mean, you've been here all the time.

46:53 Stryker Well, some of that's normal. Some guys just do that for a certain period in their life. And other guys do it as a sort of intractable quality of their personality.

46:59 Drew I don't know.

47:00 Stryker And then either you, you know, maybe work on finding a relationship that's more substantial to you, don't have sex with that person, develop the relationship, see where it's going. If sex is the issue that ruins it, don't do that until you really establish something more substantial. Great point. And I bet you'll have all kinds of different feelings. They'll be much scarier to you than that, that crazy rejection you get. You're gonna really have a lot of very, very unsettling feelings for somebody you truly care about when you have sex with them.

47:25 Drew Definitely.

47:26 Caller We'll be right back.

47:27 Stryker We are?

47:27 Drew Okay, good. You guys, we have to take a break, and let me see here. When we come back, we're gonna talk to...

47:32 Stryker We'll think about it...

47:33 Drew .many gay people.

47:33 Caller Yes.

47:34 Drew That's all I know. More Loveline after this.

47:36 Stryker All right, guys, here's the deal.

47:37 Caller Look in the hookup, call the Dateline.

48:31 Drew All right, we're back. This is Loveline. And my dog is here out there. I am Stryker.

48:37 Stryker Is that a dog?

48:38 Drew That's a dog. Did you see it? Sidney, hold up the dog. Look at that thing.

48:42 Stryker Oh my God. I actually grew up around one of those.

48:46 Drew A dog?

48:47 Stryker A dachshund.

48:48 Drew Oh, you did? But it's not the normal dachshund. It's a...

48:51 Stryker He's big.

48:52 Drew Well, look at the hair on it.

48:53 Caller Can you see the face?

48:54 Drew See, it's got a beard, so it's not like... Some dachshunds I think aren't the best looking, and that one is the cutest little monkey ever.

49:01 Stryker What's his name?

49:02 Drew And I'm not even gay. His name is Ziggy. I take him on walks and men flock to me. Let me tell you. Oh, God. All right. We have to speak to this guy, Alex, because I see something going on here.

49:13 Oh, hold on.

49:13 Drew No, that's Kyle. Alex. Alex.

49:17 Yeah.

49:17 Drew What's up, man? You're 17.

49:19 Okay. My question is for Dr. Drew. The thing is, let's see. I had... This was about maybe four months ago. I had sex with my girlfriend and she was on top, and she came down on me, and it felt like she came down at a wrong angle. And like, it felt like...

49:34 Stryker She sort of popped out, and then you came down and got jackhammered, like...

49:38 Yeah.

49:39 Drew So what happened to the winner? It's crooked now?

49:41 Well, it's kind of at an angle. I mean, yeah, it's kind of straight, but it's at an angle, you know, and it's disturbing. I mean, it doesn't hurt or anything like that.

49:48 Stryker Did it hurt when it happened?

49:49 Mmm, sort of. But then, like, it went away, like, five minutes after. Like, she got right off when I told her, you know...

49:55 Stryker Did it swell or anything?

49:56 Nothing like that.

49:57 Stryker No discoloration. Can you re-

49:58 Drew can you straighten it back up?

49:59 Stryker Well, and now it's actually got a sort of turn in the middle of it. It gets crooked.

50:05 Um, I don't know. It's normal. It functions properly and everything. It's just that I don't know. I don't like the way it looks.

50:11 Stryker What does it look like?

50:12 It's just, like, kind of at an angle and it's, like...

50:15 Stryker In the middle, it suddenly takes off in one...

50:17 Yeah, to the left. To the left. And, like, I talked to a friend about it and he's like, well, you know, what if you, like, masturbated in the opposite direction? I mean, would that help?

50:26 Stryker Oh, man, guys are so pragmatic.

50:29 Stryker That would work.

50:30 Stryker Take about 800 units of vitamin E a day and if this is due to some scarring from that injury, it will help that. If it's something... You probably ought to see a urologist just to be on the safe side, but if there's normal function and there's no pain, that sort of thing, it's very unlikely this is going to be anything significant. But the last thing you want to do is have it sort of surgically corrected, basically what they do to correct this kind of thing. They have to cut a pie out of this side to bring it up, so the whole thing gets short and say...

50:57 Drew Alex, go to a vitamin store tomorrow.

50:59 Stryker 800 units of vitamin E a day.

51:00 Drew And buy vitamin E and swallow the crap out of it. 800... What is that, units? What does that mean, a unit, a gram?

51:06 Stryker No, units. Vitamin E is in units.

51:08 Drew Alright, 800 units, Alex.

51:10 So do I take it internally or externally?

51:12 Stryker No, you take the pills. 800 international units.

51:14 Drew Swallow it with a glass of water.

51:17 Okay then.

51:17 Stryker Alright, and then see a urologist, okay?

51:19 Okay then. Alright.

51:20 Drew Good luck with the writing.

51:21 Stryker Okay, then. Okay, then.

51:24 Kyle. Hey.

51:25 Drew What's going on?

51:26 Stryker 16, why?

51:27 Jack, what?

51:27 Drew I don't know. I love cricket penises.

51:29 Caller Kyle.

51:31 Caller I have like a receding hairline, right?

51:33 Caller And so it makes it look like I have a really big forehead. And I have these two bumps on my forehead. And there's this girl at school I like, and when she talks to me, she'll kind of flirt. And like then my face will turn red except for the two bumps on my forehead. And then like all the guys at my school will laugh and say, I have a nut sack on my forehead, and I'm on the soccer team, and then like I'll kick the ball pretty hard, and then like everybody will be laughing at me because I'll be sweating and they'll have the two little white spots on my forehead with the bumps on it, and they'll call me like the bronze nut sack and stuff. And I just get really sick of it. My teachers just tell me to ignore them.

52:11 Stryker Who tells you that?

52:11 Drew The teachers.

52:12 Caller My teachers.

52:13 Stryker So you actually have complained to the teachers about it.

52:15 Caller Yeah.

52:16 Stryker Why don't they do something on your behalf, you know, if it's really starting to trouble you?

52:19 Drew Kyle, I have a question for you. Actually, I mean, you seem like a pretty cool kid. You're on the soccer team. So you're athletic, you're in shape, you like girls. Huh? I'm not very good. Who cares? You're on the team, for Christ's sake. You like girls.

52:31 Stryker Hold on.

52:33 Drew You like girls. I mean, can you just shake it off? I mean, everyone has a flaw about them. I mean, I am an idiot, Kyle, if you saw me.

52:38 Stryker Oh, man. Let me tell you. I beg your pardon.

52:41 Caller See, the thing is, you know, they used to do it every once in a while and it didn't bother me. And now they just won't stop.

52:46 Stryker Yeah, but Kyle, they're doing it because they know it bugs you. If it really didn't register, if it didn't get that rise that they're looking for, they would not be interested in talking about a nutsack on your forehead. They would sound like idiots.

52:57 Drew A bronze nutsack.

52:58 Caller I honestly try, you know, to, you know, to don't like acknowledge it or do anything. It's just, you can't help it because when I get mad, you know, my face turns red.

53:07 Stryker And so they get at you even more than that.

53:09 Drew Oh, man. What about, why do you have a receding hairline at 16? Drew, I'll ask you. Oh, at 16? Is that pretty early?

53:15 Stryker Is there actually a receding hairline or just a big forehead?

53:18 Drew It's a fivehead.

53:19 Caller Yes, it's just a big forehead. My parents just say it's a receding hairline. So I tell everybody that owns that so they won't like it.

53:25 Stryker Well, if you want to, you can take Propecia, which is a pill that decreases hair loss, male pattern hair, male pattern balding. Although you're kind of young to get on that. And that you'd need a dermatologist to talk to about. I don't know of anything they could do to correct these spots you're having. And even then these kids would abuse you even more if you did something to try to correct it.

53:42 Caller They'd have something new.

53:45 Stryker No, it's unique.

53:46 Drew You must head the ball pretty good with those two nuts.

53:48 Stryker It's not abnormal, but it's unique. Nothing is more cruel than a group of adolescent males. Their whole job is to try to F with you. That's like their reason for being. Individually, they're probably great guys, but as a group they're like a pack of hyenas.

54:02 Drew There are certain things people say to me that I can't stand. They know it, they say it even more often now.

54:06 Stryker I want to know what.

54:08 Drew Okay, you ready? I don't know if I want to say it. I'm not going to say it.

54:11 Stryker All right, because I'll be tempted to say it over and over.

54:13 Drew Okay, no, because if you do it, then I will jump on you, Drew.

54:16 Stryker Oh, it could be good radio, though.

54:17 Drew I'll tell you off the air, then we'll say it on the air.

54:19 Caller What should I do? Because no matter what I do, they can tell it makes me mad, and I just can't handle it. Nobody's doing anything. I even tried to file for harassment charges on a couple of kids in school. And the police are like, well, we can't really do anything. And I-

54:34 Stryker Is this a new school for you?

54:36 Caller No, I've always gone into school. She's like-

54:38 Stryker What about changing schools?

54:40 Caller Uh, my parents wouldn't let me do that.

54:41 Stryker Why not?

54:43 Caller Because my parents said- my parents graduated at the school and they want me to graduate at the same school as them.

54:48 Drew It's high school. It's not a college.

54:50 Stryker Is it a private school or something?

54:51 Caller Um, no, it's a public school.

54:52 Stryker Listen-

54:53 Caller I want to get homeschooling, but they won't let me.

54:55 Stryker Something is going- have they given you a therapist at school or a counselor?

54:59 Caller Well, there's a counselor, but-

55:01 Stryker Why don't you go-

55:01 Caller She doesn't really help.

55:02 Stryker Well, you talking to her?

55:04 Caller I talk to her like every other day when like they pick on me and I get really mad.

55:09 Stryker Things are going socially wrong at this school for you. And if you really are not willing to engage in some sort of a treatment with a counselor, and you are not solving it by putting limits on these guys and their behaviors truly can't be controlled, and this is something that you believe if it were stopped, your life would be manageable. It's not- you're just blaming something that you're already miserable about on this. In other words, socially things are going well for you and you're just blaming it on that. And if you believe that stopping that would allow you to sort of free up socially and begin functioning normally, then you should leave that school.

55:43 Caller Alright.

55:44 Stryker I think. Kyle. But I don't- I'm not saying that you need to leave. I'm saying if that's really what you believe, that would be the option. I think it would be the best. I think from my standpoint, the best thing is for you to go in there and talk to those counselors.

55:55 Caller Well, the thing is, to leave the school, I had to convince my parents and I have talked to them.

56:00 Drew Alright, then Kyle, then don't go that route. What about seeing someone?

56:04 Stryker What I believe, Kyle, is when you go to another school, you're going to have another problem. It's going to be something else.

56:08 Drew They're going to rag on your ass.

56:09 Stryker Yeah, they're going to rag on something else and it's going to drive you crazy. Then they're going to see that and they're going to go after that even more.

56:14 Caller Hey, how you doing?

56:15 Stryker Ooh, look at your hair. That's what kids do.

56:17 Drew Where did you get those shoes? So Kyle, talk to someone, hopefully they'll straighten you out and you won't get so upset about your brun's nut sack. It seemed so comedic in the beginning, now I feel terrible for the young man. God, because I wasn't really picked on like that, but of course, sometimes I did the picking, I got picked on, especially when I was really young.

56:34 Stryker So cruel.

56:35 Drew God, that's the worst, like in what movie is that? Billy Madison, he calls up the guy, he's like, yeah, I know I gave you a hard time as a kid, sorry for doing that. The guy turns around, it's like people to kill, he crosses off Billy Madison. Oh, gee, I just hung up on someone. Hey, you there? Hello? You there?

56:52 Stryker No.

56:52 Drew Oh, God, I'm horrible. Sorry. Julie?

56:55 Yeah?

56:55 Drew What's up? You're 15 on Loveline.

56:57 Caller Hi, I'm having this problem, I'm going out with this guy named Jerry and everyone is like, Oh, he's so ugly, you know, why are you going out with him and stuff?

57:05 Drew Does he have a nut sack on his head?

57:07 Caller No. Which is good, because I would be like, OK.

57:13 Drew Sorry, sorry, Kyle.

57:15 Stryker Thank you, Julie.

57:15 Drew Kyle, by the way, for listening, can you email me your picture?

57:19 Stryker What's your email address? Loveline?

57:21 Drew No, as you can do to Loveline.

57:24 Caller Yeah.

57:24 Drew Anyway, Julie. So what's your question here?

57:26 Stryker OK.

57:27 Caller He's like everyone's like, oh, you know, he's so ugly, you should dump him. You could do so much better. And I'm not sure what I should do, you know, because I like him and all.

57:36 Stryker But where are you from, Julie?

57:38 Caller I'm just taking time getting made fun of, you know, where are you from? Huh?

57:41 Stryker I mean, before you moved to Granada Hills, where are you from?

57:44 Caller Oh, I moved from here to Reno and I moved back here again.

57:48 Drew Reno is the biggest little city in the world.

57:50 Stryker Nice. I don't know what to say. You like the guy, who cares?

57:55 Drew Stay with them, screw your friends.

57:56 Stryker Very often the environment will tell you things that you don't want to hear and you should listen to it and evaluate it and make sure you're not sort of denying something. It sounds like whatever the hell they're telling you, it's sort of superficial and ridiculous, but you know, you've made your choice and that's fine.

58:10 Caller And it's just like some of my best friends that I thought would be really supportive of me or whatever are like, oh, what the hell have you thought? You know what I'm saying?

58:20 Stryker Maybe there's something else about him that they're not being clear with you about that they don't like. You know, maybe there's something not so nice about him. Who knows? I don't know.

58:29 Drew Maybe he's hitting on all the friends. Maybe not. Arianne?

58:34 Stryker Arianne?

58:35 Hello?

58:35 Drew Hi. You're 18 on Loveline.

58:38 First of all, I just want to say I love the show, and Dr. Drew, you're ingenious.

58:43 Stryker Ingenious? Thank you. And nefarious.

58:47 My question is, I want to know what causes a person to turn, either, you know, resort to homosexuality. Turn?

58:54 Stryker It's like the Wolfman.

58:55 Drew You went out straight. You came back after the gym event, and you turned gay.

58:57 Stryker You were so desperate, you resorted to homosexuality, huh? Listen, no one knows the answer to that accurately. There is growing evidence that there's a significant biological element in this for some people.

59:12 Like you can be born with it?

59:14 Stryker Yeah, well, you're born with the tendency. And that tends to be the way most human behavior is.

59:20 Drew You think Richard Simmons would act that way if he wasn't gay?

59:23 Stryker No, no, but the point is...

59:24 Drew Sorry, Richard, I like your shorts.

59:27 Stryker Most human behavior is sort of a biological component and an emotional or environmental component. And sexual preference seems to be another one of those things. For some men, the biology plays a very important role. For some, very little. On this show, the kinds of people that call very often have histories of sexual abuse. And you sort of can see how sexual abuse screws with people's sexual orientation. So that's another way. And then there's all kinds of words in between.

59:50 Drew What about you? Are you thinking of turning gay?

59:54 Adam Well, let me just ask you this.

59:55 I heard that it has a lot to do with your opposite sex parent. Like if he, like say, because I'm a daughter, obviously. If your father neglects the daughter, then you know, or wait, the mother, or how does that go? Yeah, the mother neglects the daughter.

1:00:12 Stryker Again, on this show, men that are highly abandoning or abusive tend to contribute to either a woman going after that kind of abusive abandoning guy or giving up on men altogether and finding their sexual relations with women. But again, that too has a biological element to it. Why one goes one way and one goes the other?

1:00:34 Yeah.

1:00:34 Drew Do you like girls and boys?

1:00:36 Oh, well, I don't, I don't, I've never been with a woman. I wouldn't because I don't agree with that way of life.

1:00:43 Stryker What do you mean, you don't agree with it?

1:00:45 I don't agree with it.

1:00:46 Stryker What is there to agree with? You either have that feeling or you don't.

1:00:48 Well, I do. I mean, I catch myself looking at other girls, but I mean, I wouldn't be with a girl. I wouldn't have sex with a girl.

1:00:55 Stryker Women are very much aroused by their own kind. That doesn't mean that they're bisexual or homosexual.

1:01:01 Drew I'm aroused by them also.

1:01:03 Caller Man are?

1:01:04 Stryker By women. By women.

1:01:05 Drew By women, yeah. By two women.

1:01:07 I gotta clarify that, huh? Okay. Well, I mean, well, what is that? Why is that so different for a woman to be aroused by another woman?

1:01:16 Drew This is like a five-hour discussion after that kind of question. And there's no right answer to this.

1:01:20 Stryker Well, there's even no known answer to it. There's all kinds of theories about it. Women just, let's say, are more fluid with their sexual orientation. They're not as rigid as men are. And in women, I don't know what that is.

1:01:33 Drew For instance, you can ask a guy there, hey, you wanna see two guys making out? Hell no. You ask a girl, you wanna see two girls?

1:01:38 Stryker Uh, maybe.

1:01:40 Stryker They'll have an appreciation for a very sexual woman, like, ooh, she's hot. That's, whoa. It's sort of arousing for them, but not they wanna have sex with her.

1:01:46 Drew Right.

1:01:46 Stryker It just sort of, I don't know, arouses their sexual feelings about themselves.

1:01:50 Drew Look at the shape of that vagina. Look at the work.

1:01:53 Stryker Oh my God. Hello? Put that on the loop, please. Thank you. Chris?

1:01:59 Drew You're 16, Chris.

1:02:01 Caller Yeah.

1:02:01 Caller Hey. Hi. I made up my question.

1:02:03 Caller I just wanted to say that this show is- Unacceptable.

1:02:06 Stryker It's what? Awesome. Awesome.

1:02:08 Caller It's acceptable as usual.

1:02:09 Stryker I thought you said awful. So what's up, Chris? Anything going on in your life?

1:02:13 Caller Oh, not really.

1:02:15 Stryker You live in Baltimore?

1:02:16 Caller Yeah.

1:02:17 Drew Go, Cal Ripken.

1:02:18 Caller Huh?

1:02:19 Drew Go, Cal Ripken.

1:02:20 Caller I guess.

1:02:21 Caller I'm not really into sports.

1:02:22 Drew All right. Well, you want to say anything before-

1:02:24 Stryker What are you into?

1:02:25 Stryker What am I into?

1:02:26 Caller I wrestle a lot. That's all.

1:02:27 Stryker Wrestling? I mean, competitive wrestling?

1:02:31 Caller I don't wrestle sheep, but that's a good thing.

1:02:33 Stryker Competitive wrestling?

1:02:34 Caller Huh?

1:02:35 Stryker You like wrestling? That's cool.

1:02:37 Drew All right, man. Well, thanks for calling.

1:02:38 Stryker No problem.

1:02:39 Drew You should go rent that movie with Matthew Modine when he wrestles. Did you see that? He's got to get to the weight. And there's a Madonna song in that movie.

1:02:45 Stryker He said it's from Baltimore, as I said?

1:02:46 Drew Yeah.

1:02:47 Stryker Let's see if he's got the... Nice.

1:02:49 Adam Exactly.

1:02:51 Drew That's good.

1:02:51 Stryker He's got such a bad rap. It's beautiful.

1:02:53 Drew Never been there.

1:02:54 Stryker Oh, my God.

1:02:55 Drew My friend Chris Williams lives there. Or used to, and he said the crabs are good. Not from the girls. David?

1:03:01 Caller Yeah.

1:03:01 Drew You are 15 and you're on Loveline.

1:03:03 Caller Yeah. I moved to where I am now in about middle school, and when I was there, I was kind of a shy kid and didn't worry about my image. So I just basically met a bunch of my kids in my class and just a couple of guys and stuff. And so we had like one-on-one relationships, just guys hanging out at each other's house after school.

1:03:24 Drew Cool.

1:03:25 Stryker What's the question, David?

1:03:25 Caller And it went on after a while, and then we'd start, grades have parties and they'd bring me along because they got invited, but I never got invited because I never went to elementary school with any of them.

1:03:34 Stryker Right.

1:03:35 Caller And so now I'm in ninth grade, and like I still really haven't gotten like any friendships with girls or anything. Like not that I'm scared, it's just that like none of them like I never really connected.

1:03:45 Drew And so you're getting invited with the girls because you're hanging with guys that are already friends with them, is that what's going on?

1:03:51 Caller Yeah, because like I missed out on like all the elementary.

1:03:53 Stryker David, you sound so great and so normal, and this will happen, don't worry. Listen, the kind of connection you want is delightful. You're going about it the right way. Yes, you're handicapped by not having been sort of a lifer with the same group of friends, but it sounds like you're making your way. Your inroads just in a very normal, healthy way.

1:04:10 Drew Do you have hair under your arm yet?

1:04:11 Stryker No.

1:04:12 Drew Not really. No, but hey, I don't know if you're worried about that yet, but don't because you're probably going to end up taller than all of them once you start doing it. That's true.

1:04:19 Stryker The age at which the growth spurt occurs has very much to do with your ultimate height.

1:04:24 Drew I agree.

1:04:25 Stryker So David, you're doing great. It's frustrating. High school sucks. It's just the way it goes. These are your unique issues, and it sounds like you're handling them very well.

1:04:32 Drew I didn't like high school that much.

1:04:33 Stryker I don't think anybody really does. It's just a painful, awkward, difficult time. It seems like everybody else is having a great time. Seems like it.

1:04:42 Drew I think the people that grow faster like it better. But they end up, I don't think, being as good in the long run.

1:04:47 Stryker Seems like everyone's having a good time.

1:04:48 Drew But they're really not.

1:04:49 Stryker Who have you ever talked to anyone who said, oh my God, it's the greatest thing. I was so happy. The whole time was delightful. I was just a garden of Eden.

1:04:55 Drew No, it's not about like that. No.

1:04:56 Stryker But you hear people talk about college that way.

1:04:58 Drew Oh, definitely.

1:04:58 Stryker Right. High school is an awkward, yucky time.

1:05:01 Drew That's why he is a doctor, you guys, and that's why I am an imbecile. Don.

1:05:05 Caller Yeah.

1:05:06 Drew What's up, man? You're 35. Welcome to Loveline.

1:05:08 Caller Hey, guys.

1:05:10 Caller Well, I want to know how I can approach my wife to get some professional help.

1:05:16 Stryker What's up with her?

1:05:17 Caller Well, she's real paranoid. She thinks that my kids and my mom and pretty much everybody that I know on my side of our life hates her. And she's really controlling and almost to the point of being abusive. Well, yeah, abusive, I'd say.

1:05:40 Stryker What if you got some help so you could learn how to handle her?

1:05:44 Caller Well, yeah, I could use that, too, but I think that she needs more help than I do.

1:05:51 Stryker She may, but you can't control that necessarily. And even if you send her, she may not be willing to do any work.

1:05:57 Caller Yeah, I've brought it up before, but then, you know, we'll get in an argument, and then, of course, I'll say something stupid like I'm a psycho or whatever.

1:06:04 Stryker Is she on speed? Does she do speed?

1:06:06 Caller Nope, no drugs at all, never.

1:06:08 Stryker I mean, if you're doing, if this were a drug situation, there are things you can do to intervene and sort of force your hand. But if it is a personality issue, which it really sounds like it is, you can't do anything. They'll go to treatment and not do any work. All you can do is take care of yourself. And that actually has one of the more significant impacts on them making change. Because eventually, as you grow, you'll eventually go, I've had enough of this crap. And you'll really start to think about leaving. And she'll be sort of forced to make change. Right now, he knows you're not going to leave now. She knows it. You're in the now.

1:06:39 Caller I quit my job and I moved eight hours away to be with her again.

1:06:43 Stryker Whatever it is, you're in the dance. You're in the dance. And she knows you're in the dance. And the only way you're going to get out of that dance is by taking care of your own mental health, all right?

1:06:50 Caller Okay.

1:06:50 Drew So he has to take care of himself first before her.

1:06:52 Stryker Yeah.

1:06:52 Drew Really? Oh, man. All right. Let's go to Lacey here. Lacey.

1:06:56 Caller Hi.

1:06:57 Drew Hi, you're 19. What's up?

1:06:58 Caller Well, me and my boyfriend, we've been together for like nine months now, and I cannot orgasm.

1:07:05 Drew With him or on your own?

1:07:07 Caller Either way.

1:07:07 Stryker Have you ever been able to?

1:07:09 Caller No.

1:07:09 Drew I don't think that's non-normal.

1:07:11 Stryker That is normal.

1:07:12 Drew I mean, that's fine, right?

1:07:13 Stryker That's normal, Lacey.

1:07:15 Caller First of all- I get to the peak, but I don't know how to let go.

1:07:17 Stryker All right. But the expectation that you would have orgasm during intercourse is? Unrealistic. That doesn't happen to many 18, 19 year olds. Some, but not much.

1:07:27 Drew It happened to me.

1:07:28 Stryker Yeah. Females. Females. Males, they don't get to have during intercourse either because they're not having intercourse.

1:07:35 Drew I could reach the point like eight seconds.

1:07:37 Stryker That's about right at 18.

1:07:38 Drew I'm running a bull.

1:07:39 Stryker But Lacey, masturbation does actually help you figure out what works for you, what doesn't. Having a stable relationship and the intimate relationship will help. It's really just a matter of time and sort of working it out. Does he perform oral sex on you? Yes.

1:07:57 Drew How long does he stay down there?

1:08:00 Caller Until I tell him to get more freaky.

1:08:02 Stryker Does he know what he's doing?

1:08:03 Caller Yeah.

1:08:04 Stryker No, no, no. Oral sex, does he properly stimulate you?

1:08:09 Caller Yeah.

1:08:10 Drew Because the oral sex is better than the sex.

1:08:13 Stryker That is what will bring most women to climax. But not all under 20 can even do it that way. It's really a matter of trying to work things out and not being anxious about it. Are you afraid of any particular, like that you're going to urinate or something like that? That's what some people just fear.

1:08:28 Caller I was listening to your show not long ago, and this one girl was like, when she climaxes, she urinates. I was like, what if I do that?

1:08:35 Stryker So you're worried about that?

1:08:35 Drew Well, you've been with them nine months. If you do it, you do it. So you change the sheets.

1:08:38 Stryker Listen, most guys, when something is produced, they feel extra good. Look what I did. Believe me. Believe me. They're fine.

1:08:46 Drew He's going to buy himself a medal once you do it. You'll be fine, Lacey.

1:08:51 Stryker Just relax. You'll work this out. But you've got to work on yourself a little bit too. That's kind of awkward for women sometimes. There's the Ann Engel, our producer, Ann's famous handheld shower spigot thing.

1:09:03 Drew That's the best on women, I hear.

1:09:05 Stryker The shower heads? Yeah, the shower heads.

1:09:06 Drew I bought a shower head for a woman one time. I'm like, here, take this thing.

1:09:09 Stryker Or she also advocates letting the spigot off the bath run directly onto you.

1:09:15 Drew Does Ann know you tell people about this?

1:09:16 Stryker We usually make her talk about it, but she's told it so many times that she's actually like, how do you guys tell it?

1:09:21 Drew How are your oral skills, Drew? Fantastic?

1:09:24 Stryker Fantastic.

1:09:24 Drew Fantastic. All right. We'll get to your oral skills in a minute.

1:09:27 Stryker I know the anatomy.

1:09:30 Drew Drew is probably the best lover in the history of mankind and I will not find out. All right, I am Stryker, in for Adam Carolla, that's Dr. Drew. We have to take another break. More Loveline coming up.

1:10:10 Stryker What's up, everybody? This is Chester.

1:10:13 And this is Brad from Linkin Park. And you're listening to the amazing Stryker and Dr. Sprew on Loveline.

1:10:22 Drew The guys in Linkin Park are so awesome.

1:10:24 Stryker Good guys, yeah. They're from them and I like the band.

1:10:27 Drew Do you really?

1:10:27 Stryker Yeah, I do.

1:10:28 Drew They played at Weenie Roast this year and Acoustic Christmas. They are unbelievable. I don't know where they are right now. Hopefully, they're coming back soon. So you just saw my dog Ziggy, Drew.

1:10:37 Stryker Cute little hot dog.

1:10:40 Drew It's not like your normal hot dog, is it? I can't explain it to people.

1:10:43 Stryker The conversation is getting bizarre.

1:10:45 Stryker Drew likes oral sex.

1:10:48 Drew All right, I'm Stryker in for Adam Corolla.

1:10:49 Stryker It's not like your normal hot dog.

1:10:51 Drew No, it's not like your normal hot dog. 1-800-LOVE-191 is the number. Are we going to John here?

1:10:57 Caller Yeah.

1:10:58 Drew John, you are 28.

1:11:00 Caller Hey, what's up?

1:11:00 Drew What's up?

1:11:01 Caller Stryker?

1:11:01 Drew Yeah.

1:11:01 Caller Nice to hear you're in DuSama, man.

1:11:03 Drew Oh, thanks, John.

1:11:04 Caller How are you doing?

1:11:05 Drew Everything is excellent.

1:11:06 Caller You're doing well, man. I love to listen to you whenever you're on this show.

1:11:10 Drew Thank you very much.

1:11:11 Stryker You guys getting that heat wave down there?

1:11:12 Caller What's that?

1:11:13 Stryker You guys getting a load of that heat wave down there that we're getting up there?

1:11:15 Caller Yeah, we're trying to get over it. Almost done.

1:11:18 Drew How's Tucson?

1:11:19 Caller It's nice, man. You know, the people that are placed there, actually, they are fun to listen to.

1:11:23 Drew Good.

1:11:24 Stryker You know, I think Adam and I, Stryker, are coming to the University of Arizona sometime in the next couple of months.

1:11:29 Drew Well, we could change that.

1:11:31 Stryker You could have them killed. It's fine. What's up, John?

1:11:35 Drew So what's going on?

1:11:37 Caller Okay, I got a question. This is probably more for Drew because you might be able to help me out here. I've been together with my girlfriend for a little over a year, and we kind of jumped into our relationship kind of quick.

1:11:50 Stryker So one of those joined at the hip relationships?

1:11:52 Caller No, not really, but like, I don't know. It was just like we started dating and then like very quickly, we ended up being with each other, living together and everything. And my girlfriend is kind of overwhelmed right now.

1:12:04 Stryker Wouldn't that be joined at the hip?

1:12:06 Caller How do you mean?

1:12:07 Stryker How is rapidly getting involved in a relationship where you're ultimately living together very quickly, that's joined at the hip?

1:12:11 Caller Well, basically, but you know, well, okay.

1:12:14 Drew Come on, John, you gotta you gotta look good in Tucson. Go on.

1:12:20 Caller All right.

1:12:20 Drew So she kicked you out.

1:12:22 Caller No, no, no. We're still living together, but she just wants, she's just like, feels like kind of afraid. And she has a child and the problem is here that I'm doing with is that her child thinks that I'm the dad now because she's a very young child. And she wants to live alone for a while. Why? Because she's never really been on her own. She's always been with the family or with the son's father and everything. So she wants to live alone. And you know, Stryker, you know what it's like down here, man. It's just like kind of hard to live here and make a living without someone with you.

1:13:00 Stryker Why is that?

1:13:02 Caller Very low income, very hard to live alone here.

1:13:06 Stryker You mean you need double incomes to pay rent?

1:13:08 Caller Basically, yeah.

1:13:10 Stryker So rents are high, income levels are low.

1:13:12 Drew Yeah, it seems like that the the class is there. There's a if your upper class, you're golden there because cost living is low for them. It doesn't seem there's a lot. It doesn't seem like the middle class is your stereotypical middle class. It's like a lower middle class. It seemed to me.

1:13:27 Caller Exactly. So, you know, I don't want to intrude on her feelings or anything. So like I'm moving towards in with a bunch of my friends that I've known for a long time. And they live in Boise, Idaho. But what I'm wondering is like, I understand how she's feeling and that she wants to, you know, explore her new options and make sure that I'm the one for her. But it's kind of hard for me to leave the situation. I don't want to be able to leave the situation. And I'm worried what the child will think.

1:13:57 Stryker Yeah, I think it's abusive to the child. If she was going to bring you into that child's life, she should have been prepared to stay. If not, she should have kept you at a distance from the child, for sure. I think it's an awful, awful thing when people do that to their children. They bring these various relationships in and out. It is extremely destructive for them to get connected to one and then lose them.

1:14:18 Caller Exactly.

1:14:20 Stryker That is a bad thing.

1:14:21 Caller And I'm also afraid, like, you know, like, mom's never going to say that she wanted me to move out, you know. He's just going to picture it as me leaving.

1:14:29 Stryker Of course. And then, mom, what's her deal? I mean, why did she move in in the first place with you if she wasn't going to be committed? Is she just done with this relationship? And if so, why? Or is she just sabotaging relationships that become close, which is, I suspect, what actually is happening? Or she needs a nice abusive guy like her father, the child.

1:14:46 Drew So you feel more for this baby than the relationship, yeah?

1:14:49 Caller No, I feel for both of them. You know, I love her.

1:14:53 Stryker Was dad, was the child's father, was the child's father abusive? Yes. Yeah, of course. That's what she's out looking for now. Gotta find another abusive guy. You think so? Oh, absolutely. You were too nice. You were too available. You're too real. She can't stand it. Gotta get out. It's boring.

1:15:10 Caller So, what's the last word, Drew?

1:15:12 Caller I should do what I'm gonna do and leave and just like...

1:15:15 Stryker I don't know that you have any options. I would certainly sit down and talk to her. Maybe you could get a couple's therapist to meet with her a couple of times, try to talk some sense into her. I think it is awful for the child, and God knows what she's gonna, what predator she's gonna bring around that child.

1:15:28 Drew You seem normal, John, but her bringing you into that house with the kid there just doesn't seem right on her end.

1:15:36 Stryker Well, I think if you really care about that child and you have reasonable feelings for this woman, you gotta fight for it. But it may be that it's just the way it is and your plan is to take care of yourself for what they've gotta be.

1:15:47 Drew Or John, you can move in with my friend Simon, who still lives in Tucson, by the way.

1:15:50 Stryker He's planning to go to Boise now. You can live cheaper.

1:15:53 Drew You can live cheap there. Live right by the Snake River in Boise. Michelle, hi, you're 28. What's going on?

1:16:00 Caller Well, my question is, I'm 28 and I am still a virgin.

1:16:05 Caller How crazy is that?

1:16:07 Caller Or is it normal? Is it...?

1:16:10 Drew It doesn't seem normal to me. But I don't work here every night.

1:16:14 Caller Not to me either.

1:16:15 Stryker Well, it's unusual. Right? But it doesn't fall into normal or abnormal.

1:16:19 Drew Have you had a boyfriend?

1:16:21 Caller Um, not very many. I've actually only had two.

1:16:25 Stryker And what happened with those relationships?

1:16:27 Caller Um, the one was we weren't compatible on my end. Like, I don't know. He was, his sense of humor wasn't, you know, coinciding with mine. He was in the Navy. And this was like eight years ago.

1:16:44 Stryker And what about the second one?

1:16:46 Caller And the second one was more recent and he just turned out to be like crazy. So, I.

1:16:50 Drew When's the last time you went out on a normal date?

1:16:54 Caller Um.

1:16:56 Stryker Why don't you date more?

1:16:58 Drew Because that's what I'm getting to.

1:16:59 Caller I don't know.

1:17:00 Drew Do you, on a Friday, on a Friday, on a Friday and Saturday night, do you go to a bar? Do you go to a rest? What, do you go out?

1:17:07 Caller Well, lately, the reason that I don't date, and this is sort of a.

1:17:11 Stryker You're overweight.

1:17:12 Caller The best surprise is that I have a girlfriend. But, okay, I'm straight, okay, which is what I think, but I've been, I had my best friend for like four years, and we got really close after my mom passed away. And it just sort of grew into a.

1:17:31 Stryker You're lesbian.

1:17:32 Caller An intimate, well, you know, I don't know. Because I've never slept with a guy. I'm like, okay.

1:17:38 Drew Has she performed oral sex on you?

1:17:40 Caller Oh, yeah, we've yeah, we've been together for like.

1:17:44 Drew Is that losing your virginity if someone gives you an orgasm? That is you've lost your virginity to a woman, Michelle.

1:17:50 Caller Did I really?

1:17:50 Drew And this is only like my 15, 15 times working here.

1:17:53 Caller And I know you know this.

1:17:55 Drew Yes.

1:17:56 Caller You're that good.

1:17:57 Drew Oh, I'm good.

1:17:58 Stryker Well, what would what if you were a devout lesbian and never had a relationship with a male? Would you be a virgin your whole life?

1:18:03 Caller Exactly.

1:18:04 Stryker No. Well, I don't know. You are, you are lesbian by default right now. Whether you feel like one or not, that's what you are. And I know women very commonly have this sort of sense that it's not that I'm a lesbian. It's just there's this great person and it grew into a physical thing. And if she were male or female, it doesn't really matter. It's just this great person. But she's a female. You're involved with her. That's great. Why are you looking for a guy? Yeah.

1:18:29 Drew Why are you?

1:18:30 Caller Because I want kids. I want a family. I want...

1:18:32 Stryker Well, maybe you can find a donor that you two can use, you know?

1:18:37 Drew Maybe you and Rosie can hang out.

1:18:39 Caller Who?

1:18:39 Drew Never mind.

1:18:41 Stryker You know what I'm saying?

1:18:42 Caller No. No, no, no, no. No, see, no, I really am attracted to guys, like, intensely. And I don't ever act on it. In the past, I don't... I'm not, like...

1:18:52 Stryker Michelle, why are you so screwed up? And I don't mean being sexually attracted to women as being screwed up. You don't seem to know where the hell you are. I'm a virgin, but is that weird, but I'm a lesbian, but I'm not, but I want kids... I have sex with a girl, and I'm a virgin. I get, like, white noise when I talk to you. I don't know what's going on. I don't either.

1:19:10 Caller That's why I called you.

1:19:11 Stryker Yeah, well, what happened that sent you spinning like this?

1:19:14 Drew Well, her mom passed away for one. When was that, Michelle?

1:19:17 Caller In 97.

1:19:18 Drew And you've been with this best friend sexually since then?

1:19:22 Caller Since 98.

1:19:24 Drew So she is your girlfriend. You have a relationship.

1:19:26 Stryker Oh, yes. Big time. Yeah. And does she have a guy?

1:19:30 Caller Well, no, and she has a child. Yeah.

1:19:34 Stryker Michelle, what?

1:19:38 You should see what Drew is just doing.

1:19:39 Drew Drew is right now is leaning back in his chair, scratching his head, almost touching his brain.

1:19:43 Stryker Trying to figure this out. What happened to you? What kind of family did you just total chaos you grew up in?

1:19:49 Caller No, not at all. I had both my parents, which was really unusual, and most of my friends or parents were separated.

1:19:57 Stryker You have siblings, a bunch of siblings?

1:19:59 Caller No, I just was the only child.

1:20:01 Stryker Only child.

1:20:01 Caller My parents were together. We got split up. My dad couldn't financially take care of us for a while. I mean, my mom and I live with my grandparents.

1:20:09 Drew I think you're a lesbian, but want the ultimate stereotypical lifestyle.

1:20:14 Stryker All I get, you tell these stories that are incredibly emotionally charged. Lachlanasically. Yeah, and you tell them like you're describing the weather. It's like, we had this perfect family, except we got in these financial problems. My mother and I lived with my grandparents for four years. And then everything, and then the weather was nice. It's like, well, wait, what do you mean you got financial problems and your family split up? I mean, that's catastrophic. What happened?

1:20:39 Adam What happened?

1:20:40 Caller Well, my dad never had a total career thing. He was like a permit guy and he just, you know, just like went to odd jobs and stuff. He just couldn't deal.

1:20:50 Stryker And where's my bourbon?

1:20:52 Stryker Was he an alcoholic?

1:20:54 Caller No, not at all. And he just, I don't know, it just didn't work out like that. He's terrible with money. He's always been terrible.

1:21:00 Drew I like you, Michelle. And I don't even know you. You seem pretty cool, but you messed up.

1:21:06 Caller You know, and you know, that's the whole thing of it, because I feel like a normal person, but I'm so confused.

1:21:13 Stryker I think you're a lesbian. In three minutes talking to us, you managed to completely confuse us too. And part of that confusion is there's such a detachment from your emotional world. You describe these very highly charged stories, and I can't tell how you feel about them. I have no idea who you are, Michelle, as a person. I know your story, but I don't know Michelle. And I don't know why there's that major profound disconnect there, and you got to figure that out.

1:21:39 Drew My take? Yeah. I think she's just a lesbian.

1:21:42 Stryker Oh, I do too.

1:21:43 Drew Right, but she just wants to live a lifestyle of a stereotypical life.

1:21:48 Stryker I don't know what she wants.

1:21:49 Stryker I have no idea. She wants kids. The behavior is she's a lesbian. You look on paper, she's lesbian, okay, on paper. But I have no idea what Michelle wants, who she is, how she feels about it. I have no idea.

1:21:59 Stryker Oh, she's had sex, too.

1:22:01 Stryker Yes, of course.

1:22:01 Stryker I don't even know you, man.

1:22:03 Stryker Dude.

1:22:04 Drew Hold on, I gotta ask her one quick question. Michelle?

1:22:07 Caller Yes.

1:22:08 Drew Answer these super quick. Are you good looking?

1:22:12 Caller I'm told that, yes.

1:22:14 Drew Okay. Well, then you would have lost your virginity by now, so maybe stick with this friend and just write it out.

1:22:20 Stryker Don't you just be aware that you maintain massive levels of denial about yourself and what you're doing, and what you're feeling, and just try to tune in a little bit.

1:22:29 Drew I have never seen Drew look so confused during that call. I think I'm confused trying to fill in on this thing sometimes.

1:22:34 Stryker That was a good one.

1:22:35 Drew For god sakes. I guess we have to take another quick break. I'm Stryker along with Drew, and we're going to talk to Alex when we get back. There's a lot of X. We'll find out what that's about. Coming up on Loveline.

1:22:48 Caller Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready.

1:23:20 Drew Yeah, hello, it's Loveline, 1800love191 along with Dr. Drew, who's a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist and will dig into your brain. I am Ted Stryker here in Los Angeles, California filling in for Adam Corolla, who will be back on Sunday, by the way. And tomorrow, James Masters is going to be on. He's from Buffy, right? Yep. He's a talented guy. He has the accent. I've seen him on Killborm. I don't know if he's nice. He could be in A-hole.

1:23:47 Stryker No, he's been out here before. He's a nice guy.

1:23:49 Drew Really?

1:23:49 Caller Smart?

1:23:50 Stryker Funny? I can't remember, but I just remember being a good guy.

1:23:55 Drew I get nervous coming in when there's a guest because they're expecting Ace Rockolla to come in and then it's my ass stepping in.

1:24:00 Stryker Remember, most of them are relieved.

1:24:02 Drew They're relieved when I get in here.

1:24:06 Stryker Kiss my ass, you idiot.

1:24:08 Stryker You see? In fact, Anderson just came into the control and went, it's weird, it's weird. Stryker's so positive. I miss, I can't, all that negativity, it's gone.

1:24:19 Drew Thank you, Ness Redden.

1:24:20 Caller Alex?

1:24:22 Caller Yeah?

1:24:22 Drew What's up? You're 16 and you do X a lot?

1:24:25 Caller Yeah, and I constantly feel like I'm like high, you know?

1:24:28 Caller Not really high, but...

1:24:30 Stryker Well what will happen eventually is you'll get this sort of locked in syndrome where you like don't, you sort of don't come down. You're sort of like in a dream state.

1:24:37 Caller Yeah.

1:24:38 Stryker And what will happen eventually and probably happen to be already is you'll start to get a lot of anxiety and even panic attacks and have difficulty going outside or going to social events that you used to enjoy. That kind of stuff happening to you yet?

1:24:49 Caller Uh, kind of.

1:24:50 Drew How many times have you done X?

1:24:53 Caller Roughly, 25?

1:24:55 Stryker The bad news is that this stuff is permanent. That locked in syndrome, the feeling will get better, but the panic and the depression that's going to come very soon now.

1:25:03 Caller Will the memory come back eventually?

1:25:05 Stryker Um, the memory stuff tends to be fixed, both from speed and ecstasy. And I do suggest you see someone about this immediately, someone who knows something about drug abuse and who is preferably trained in psychiatric medication because your brain's had an injury.

1:25:21 Drew What are the known effects of doing ecstasy?

1:25:24 Stryker This is it.

1:25:24 Drew Well, what? Tell me.

1:25:25 Stryker Well, it's absolutely characteristic. You get depletion of serotonin in the limbic regions of the brain. The symptoms are typically sort of a generalized anxiety or anxious all the time. Sometimes, you'll feel kind of locked into a high-stead dream-like state like Alex does. You'll start getting depressed. The depressions sometimes don't come on for months or even years after the use. The anxiety usually intensifies and the depression remains fixed. Memory problems sometimes are part of this syndrome. They're almost always part of it if the same syndrome occurs from heavy amphetamine use.

1:25:55 Drew So if someone does marijuana once a month, Marijuana. Hold on. Does marijuana once a month, two years in a row, probably nothing's going to happen to them. If someone does X once a month for two years in a row, they're messing themselves up.

1:26:07 Stryker That's absolutely true.

1:26:08 Drew Right.

1:26:08 Stryker You can do marijuana once a weekend, and after the age of 18, it will do nothing to you.

1:26:13 Drew After 18, people.

1:26:14 Stryker Yeah. At E, you do it 10 times ever. Over five years, there's a possibility you could really hurt yourself.

1:26:21 Drew Someone said if you do it 10 times, you lose a quarter size of your brain.

1:26:24 Stryker Well, we don't know that. You can't really say that. That's part of the difficult things about this drug is you can't predict. There are people out there that have done 20 times that are okay.

1:26:33 Drew You said last night, that's not an addictive drug.

1:26:35 Stryker Well, it's rare to have addiction, mostly because it kicks the crap out of you so badly. People are just, you know, your brain's been hammered after that, and people are fatigued and out of it for a few days, and you're harmed.

1:26:44 Drew I met somebody that said they were addicted to that date rape drug.

1:26:48 Stryker No, it's profoundly addictive. It is?

1:26:51 Drew Doesn't it just knock you out?

1:26:52 Stryker Yeah, but it's a valium drug. It makes people high, too.

1:26:55 Drew Weird. So ecstasy is probably the worst drug if you're going to do one.

1:26:59 Stryker Well, in terms of drugs of abuse, yeah, ecstasy and...

1:27:01 Drew Because there's no getting it back.

1:27:03 Stryker Ecstasy and acid, those are the two that scare me the most.

1:27:06 Drew Ann.

1:27:06 Caller Hi.

1:27:07 Drew Hi, you're 20. Welcome to Loveline.

1:27:09 Caller Hi.

1:27:10 Stryker What's up, Ann?

1:27:11 Caller What's up?

1:27:12 Adam Well, this is my problem.

1:27:13 Caller I've been with my boyfriend for about almost a year and a half, and he didn't tell me that he was addicted to just weed and drinking. So I found out and I was really upset, but then he was sober for about seven months.

1:27:28 Stryker How did he get sober?

1:27:30 Caller He started going to meetings again. He's older. He's about 28.

1:27:34 Stryker And you're how old?

1:27:35 Caller Twenty.

1:27:36 Stryker And so... Unacceptable. When did he first get involved with the program?

1:27:41 Caller He's been in and out of rehab for a while.

1:27:44 Stryker And it's been pot and alcohol. Those have been the two drugs.

1:27:46 Caller Right. But I think it's primarily pot.

1:27:48 Stryker Okay. And when did he start getting treatments? How old was he?

1:27:53 Caller I think 20.

1:27:54 Stryker Okay. And what's his longest period of sobriety? Do you know?

1:27:57 Caller Two years.

1:27:57 Stryker And when was that?

1:28:01 Caller About three years ago.

1:28:02 Stryker All right. So he's sort of struggling with the sobriety. It's not like he's completely out of bounds. He's not rejecting treatment. He understands he has a problem and he's struggling with it. It's a chronic disease. And for many people, the natural history, even in treatment, is marked by periods of use. And it's natural enough you'd be sort of disappointed and affected by it. But it has nothing to do with you. And if you really want to have a positive impact on his disease and the course of his disease, the only thing you can do is go to Al-Anon. Is to what? Go to Al-Anon.

1:28:32 Drew What is Al-Anon for people listening? I don't even know what that is.

1:28:36 Stryker It's meetings for people that are involved with addicts, particularly, especially it works well for addicts that are in recovery, they're in a program. And what it does is it gets you to grow in a way that keeps up with their growth.

1:28:47 Drew Drew's getting hit on the head.

1:28:49 Stryker So in other words, if you're not growing, hang on one second.

1:28:53 Drew Drew's checking his beeper, you guys. And it says, by the way, if anyone knows if the Dodgers beat Giants tonight, let me know when you call him.

1:29:00 Stryker There was two to one when I was listening.

1:29:01 Drew And then it was tied when I got here. Three, three.

1:29:05 Stryker I said it was three to one when I was listening. Where were we?

1:29:08 Drew You're talking about. And we're just going to let you.

1:29:11 Caller I know I'm pretty excited.

1:29:12 Stryker But, you know, Alan, again, is if you are stuck in a relationship and you're trying to grow in recovery, the relationship will tend to keep you bogged down in your old ways of emotionally dealing. And if somebody, if you're a significant other, or somebody you're involved with, family members, are also in a program of growth, you will grow alongside them and they will accelerate one another's growth rather than holding each other back.

1:29:31 Drew Is Alan on free?

1:29:32 Caller The thing is, he was sober for seven months and I think, I feel like he's been letting me this whole time because I walked in his apartment right about two hours ago. He completely shuts down. He can't even believe that I was there. I mean, I totally caught him and I didn't say anything. I left the apartment.

1:29:47 Stryker So your thing is he may have been using the whole time.

1:29:49 Caller Exactly. And I think it's a serious issue between us. We're serious by each other. We both know we want to be with each other in the future. And I think this is a reflection of our trust issue and our communication.

1:30:01 Stryker And you can't help it. You need to go to Alanon. You got this all screwed up. You need to go to Alanon. Yes, it's a serious issue. Yes, you need to be very aware of it. Yes, he needs to be open and honest. Yes, it's not clear what the status of his sobriety is. But whatever it is, you need some Alanon here, unless you are not going to be involved with somebody who's an addict. Did you have a parent who's an addict? Alcoholic? My dad. Yeah, you need an Alanon, big time. You're going to find another alcoholic addict even if you don't stay with this guy. That's going to be your model for a relationship is going to be an addict.

1:30:30 Drew And if she leaves this guy, she'll probably find an addict.

1:30:32 Stryker She will absolutely find another one, not unless you do some Alanon.

1:30:35 Drew And when you guys call about addiction questions, Drew will hammer through anything and catch- Oh, Drew's getting-

1:30:41 Stryker Unacceptable.

1:30:42 Drew That's right.

1:30:43 Stryker Unacceptable.

1:30:44 Drew Angie. Yeah? Get ready for this one, Anderson. You're 16. What's going on with you?

1:30:51 Adam Yeah. Well, I can't stop sleeping at all. I've already slept like with 25 guys.

1:30:56 Stryker You're sticking hard.

1:30:57 Stryker You're 16?

1:30:57 Stryker Perfectly normal.

1:30:58 Adam Yeah.

1:30:59 Stryker Good times.

1:31:01 Adam I pretty much just can't stop. Like, I got pregnant before and I had an abortion. And like anybody thought I was, you know, gonna turn my life around, I was gonna change or whatever, but I just can't stop.

1:31:12 Drew Is that addiction?

1:31:13 Stryker It could be. Were you sexually abused when you were growing up?

1:31:15 Adam Not that I can remember.

1:31:16 Stryker Has there been some suspicion that you might have been?

1:31:19 Adam Yeah, I think so.

1:31:20 Stryker Who told you that?

1:31:22 Adam Oh, my sister, because it happened to her.

1:31:25 Stryker So the good possibility that, who was it that abused her?

1:31:28 Adam My dad.

1:31:29 Stryker So dad is a sexual predator. That's a good way to become sexually compulsive, to have been sexually abused. Did he have a lot of porno around and that kind of thing?

1:31:39 Adam Well, I'll kind of find my abuse sometimes, you know.

1:31:41 Stryker And how old were you when you first started getting exposed to that stuff?

1:31:45 Adam I was like eight or nine.

1:31:48 Stryker That can be, that can be, that can sort of hotwire you. It can change your chemistry a little bit. And if you then were also sexually abused, then that's sort of a recipe for sexual compulsion.

1:31:57 Drew So who does Angie need to go to? What does she need to do to stop sleeping with 25 more by the time she's 17?

1:32:02 Stryker Do you thought about getting some help with this Angie?

1:32:04 Adam Yeah, but like, I don't really want to. Oh no, I don't know who to talk to.

1:32:11 Stryker Do you have any counselors at school?

1:32:14 Adam I'm not in school right now.

1:32:15 Stryker How come?

1:32:17 Adam Well.

1:32:18 Drew Because she's out screwing guys. Come on.

1:32:19 Stryker Why aren't you in school?

1:32:21 Adam Well, I was taking independent studies and I just stopped.

1:32:26 Stryker What about getting back into school?

1:32:28 Adam Well, I was supposed to but I don't know. It's too many problems at school. A lot of girls don't like me.

1:32:35 Drew Alright, there's a lot more going on here, Drew, than just you sleeping with too many guys.

1:32:39 Stryker Todd, can I give you a phone number?

1:32:40 Adam Yeah.

1:32:42 Stryker Would you call, please?

1:32:43 Adam Yeah.

1:32:44 Stryker And we only get a couple minutes with you. And this is something that's unraveling a whole life here. We got to piece back together.

1:32:50 Adam Okay.

1:32:50 Stryker 800. She's putting it in herself. 422.

1:32:55 Adam 422.

1:32:56 Stryker 4453.

1:32:57 Drew Call right now. I want to hear the conversation.

1:32:59 Stryker Give them a call and they can spend more time with you and help you look at some options. But it sounds like you need to get at very, very, very, very minimum. Get some more structure back in your life for starters. And I think school is a good way to do that. Maybe a different school. Maybe there are options out there for you. Then it certainly would be helpful to talk to someone because you're really going to go down a path here that could be dangerous, could be life-threatening.

1:33:20 Drew You think the dad definitely molested her, probably.

1:33:23 Stryker I don't know. But let's put it this way. Her dad was a child abuser. That sort of says it all right there. I don't care what he did to her. That was her dad.

1:33:29 Drew Do we have time to go to Bob?

1:33:30 Stryker No, we're done. No, we're done.

1:33:32 Drew That's it?

1:33:32 Stryker Well, we got to take a break.

1:33:33 Drew OK, we got to take a break. We got to take a break. It's Loveline. We'll be back in just a second.

1:33:36 Caller OK, so I know there's nothing wrong with me.

1:33:38 Drew So what's up?

1:33:38 Caller So I was like you and I used to think that these datelines were totally cheesy.

1:33:41 Caller Why can't I meet anybody?

1:33:42 Caller But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell? So I called the dateline and actually met a cool guy.

1:33:46 Caller I called the dateline and I hooked up with some cool people.

1:33:48 Caller Believe it or not, other normal people are out there looking too.

1:33:51 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:33:54 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:33:56 Stryker We'll be right back.

1:34:30 Stryker She and Stryker was just getting warmed up.

1:34:32 Caller I was just getting warmed up.

1:34:33 Stryker It's like 12 o'clock on my pad.

1:34:34 Drew Time to go already.

1:34:35 Stryker Yes, it is.

1:34:36 Drew We just found out the Dodgers lost six to form a huge Dodger fan. You are too, Drew, aren't you?

1:34:40 Stryker My kids are. My boys are.

1:34:41 Drew God.

1:34:41 Stryker Huge.

1:34:41 Drew They're done. Dodgers are done. Damn it.

1:34:44 Stryker I want to try out.

1:34:45 Drew I want to try out for the team. So whoever's listening from the Dodgers, I want to try out.

1:34:49 Stryker My son is convinced he's going to play. Really?

1:34:52 Drew You never know.

1:34:53 Stryker You never know. I don't tell him no.

1:34:54 Drew I played my last high school game was in Dodger Stadium.

1:34:57 Stryker Cool.

1:34:58 Drew We lost to Kennedy High School and batting 1,000 in Dodger Stadium.

1:35:00 Stryker Nice.

1:35:01 Drew I had to sacrifice a single in RBI. A walk, I think, but we lost. Darren Anderson from the Angels, we played against him. Anyway, that's it, you guys. I was Stryker for Adam Corolla. And I just want to say before we sign off here real quick, you guys are totally cool when I'm filling in for them. And I really appreciate it. Big shoes to fill. But I'm just doing, you know, taking my own style to it. And you guys are really nice when you call in. I appreciate it. And Drew, thank you for everything.

1:35:22 Stryker My pleasure. I'll be in Sacramento tomorrow. I'll call you from there.

1:35:24 Drew This is going to be weird tomorrow. I'm going to be here by myself and you're up there. In Sacktown.

1:35:28 Stryker Yup.

1:35:28 Drew Put the MacTown in Sacktown, all right? Say hi to Mike Bibby, who's now in the Sacramento Kings. Basketball player. I don't know, I don't know. All right, for Dr. Drew, I am Ted Stryker, saying adios. I love cricket penises.

1:35:40 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, September 26, 2001