Episode 1000754886891

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:06 Go!

1:08 Voiceover Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, coast to coast.

1:13 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce filling in for Dr. Drew. It's a pleasure to be here. Dr. Bruce, a board-certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, also knows about tattoo removal from convicts via a laser, right?

1:32 Dr. Bruce Yes, recovered convicts.

1:34 Adam And emergency medicine. Right.

1:36 Dr. Bruce My roots are in emergency medicine.

1:38 Adam Really more qualified than Drew.

1:41 Dr. Bruce You always say that.

1:41 Adam You really are. You really are. You're not half the man he is, but you're more qualified from a technical standpoint to do this show. Oh, yes. Scott and Ken are here tonight. They are, of course, at Crystal Method. And it's good to see these guys for years. And these two are the nicest guys in techno music. Much nicer than that asshole Moby. Or who else? I don't know who else is in there. What are we calling it?

2:11 Dr. Bruce House?

2:12 Adam What do we want to call it?

2:14 Electronic. Some people with electronica.

2:17 Adam Yeah. I like you guys. And I know I always say this. But you bring a real, a very unartistic, blue collar angle to the electronic music.

2:27 You usually call it a truck driver feel.

2:30 Yeah.

2:32 We met at a grocery store. We were both union. What was that union?

2:36 Retail clerkship in 1536.

2:38 Adam Oh, you were bagging or clerking at a supermarket?

2:40 I was a permanent clerk, yeah.

2:44 Adam At a market?

2:45 Yeah. In Las Vegas, yeah.

2:47 Adam Yeah. That's good work. Any union, look, listen kids, any union work is good work because if you're in a union, you're getting paid twice as much as you should get paid. You're getting twice as many benefits as you deserve. And believe me, it's a job you should hang on to with both hands, unless you're going to become big techno house electronic music stars.

3:08 That's how we started at the union. So maybe if you want to make music, then start bagging groceries now and then 10 years from now, you could be sitting here with Adam and-

3:18 Adam Yeah. Look, if you're sitting here with me 10 years from now, I want you to kill me. Any young, any budding musicians who are listening to the show, I want you to bring a piece with you, mark the calendar, and if I'm sitting here, I want you to shoot me. Anderson, you can play this recording at the trial. Everything will be dismissed. All right. The new CD is called Tweakend. Did I do that right?

3:47 Yeah, you did it right.

3:48 Adam Great. And that's going to come out in a week and then the tour begins at the end of the month. Whoa, tour begins what, Friday?

3:56 Yep.

3:57 Adam And who, are you going out with anybody?

4:00 UberZone and some DJs, yeah.

4:02 Adam And where are you going, everywhere?

4:04 Everywhere, like 55 cities in like 60 days. We're the hardest working electronic band and showbiz.

4:11 Dr. Bruce Do you guys do any raves?

4:13 Yeah, well, we're playing at Cyberfest, is that it? Up in San Francisco?

4:18 Oh, yes, I think that is in San Francisco.

4:22 Yeah, and Creamfields in New York. And that's how we started out, actually, is playing raves. And until our first album came out, and then we started doing like regular tours.

4:33 Dr. Bruce I cover those as a physician sometimes, and it's fascinating watching the whole process. And the fans are really into it, and the guys are up there spinning the records, and I have no idea what's going on.

4:41 You need to come down to our show.

4:42 Dr. Bruce I'd love to.

4:43 Yeah, maybe go out on tour with us.

4:44 Dr. Bruce Hey.

4:46 Adam You guys could use an emergency doctor on tour with you.

4:50 Dr. Bruce Adam's my agent, so you have time.

4:52 I will talk to him later.

4:54 Adam You can get him for free and never bring him back. Don't rewind him. I don't care. Take him and run. Okay, Dr. Bruce here again filming for Dr. Drew, but the committed one is here. Here's truly Adam Corolla, the man show on Tonight Kitties. Oh, you can not miss tonight's man show. Huge man show, Comedy Central, 10 o'clock. And oh, we have a little trouble with our computer tonight, so we're going to hop on to the phone, but I don't know what line this is, you moron. There you go. All right, let's speak to Anna, who's 16. Anna?

5:28 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

5:28 Adam What's happening?

5:29 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Hi. Well, like a year ago, I was doing a lot of drugs, especially like a lot of Sunshine, and recently I was diagnosed as bipolar.

5:39 Adam What is Sunshine? And hold on.

5:41 Dr. Bruce All right.

5:42 Adam Don't monkey with my cans here, Bruce. You just hurt my head. What is Sunshine?

5:46 Dr. Bruce Your cans are so trapped.

5:47 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Acid, acid.

5:49 Adam Oh, okay.

5:50 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah. And so recently, like, I was diagnosed as bipolar, and I'm on Effexor and Depakote now for it. And I was just wondering, could I have, like, would I have been born with this, or could all the drugs have caused it? Because I was doing, like, every drug possible.

6:06 Adam And you're 16? Yeah. And how long were you doing the drugs?

6:10 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce I only, I did as many drugs as I could for about a year. And then I just stopped.

6:16 Adam Well, you gotta have a dream, I guess. As many as you could possibly do in a year.

6:22 Dr. Bruce Well, you did the psychiatric challenge and you lost. So the way it works is you have a backdrop of the genetics, what your genetic code gives you, and your brain develops, and then you challenge it with all these drugs. There are many people that if they had never used the drugs, they would not have developed mental illness. But these drugs don't cause specifically these disorders. But bipolar illness and psychosis are frequently triggered by these kind of drugs, especially ecstasy, acid.

6:50 Adam Go see a shrink.

6:52 Dr. Bruce We're seeing she's on the right drugs and probably doing much better than you were doing.

6:56 What happened? Did you wake up one day and just think, I just let do all the drugs possible? What triggered the head?

7:04 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce When I started going to high school, I got in with the wrong crowd and everything and I was just like...

7:11 Adam I'd say they got in with the wrong crowd. I'm sure that's what they're saying to their folks. Okay, but Anna, you're not doing any more drugs now, except for the good ones that the government provides.

7:22 Dr. Bruce Actually what?

7:23 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Actually, I'm going with a couple of friends to LA in a week, and they are really into partying and like they're planning on doing a lot of coke and stuff, and so I just said I would do it too. Is coke like really bad?

7:40 Adam No, that's fine. That's like snorting a multivitamin. Doctors love coke.

7:44 Dr. Bruce No, these things like cocaine and methamphetamine are called psychomimetics, which means they make you psychotic. So the problem is, for you, these things are... You could tell people you're allergic to them, because if you take cocaine, it will, no matter what pharmaceutical your doctor is giving you, it will snap you right back into the bipolar.

8:06 Adam Hey, Anna. Anna, listen, we got to go, and we can't waste that much time with people that don't really want to help themselves, and I'm starting to throw you into that category. Let me just yell at you before we move on, because I got a lot of people to yell at tonight. Okay. Honey, are you really, really super good-looking? Yes. Okay, then fine, fry your brain. Go ahead. She gave the right answer. She's super good-looking. That's fine. I was going to say she needed her brain, but if she's really hot, I mean, listen, it was one of those things where I floated something, there was about a 5% chance I'd get the wrong answer, and it came up snake eyes. I admit it.

8:47 Dr. Bruce All right, so are all your juggies in the man show psychotic?

8:51 Adam That's right. Well, the point is, I don't know, they don't care, and neither does the viewing audience. That's my point. All right, let's speak to Don, who's 13. Don?

9:01 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Hello.

9:02 Adam Hey, what's up?

9:04 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce In the past year, I have attempted suicide five times, and in the past maybe five or six years, I have been raped about five or six.

9:18 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

9:21 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce It is.

9:22 Adam No.

9:23 Dr. Bruce And what abuse pattern did you have when you were younger?

9:26 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce I was never abused. I was neglected by my dad's mom and dad, my grandma and grandpa.

9:33 Adam Were they raising you?

9:35 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No.

9:36 Adam Oh, well, how do you know they were neglecting you? Maybe they just lived out of state.

9:40 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No, they live down the street from me, and every time they're around, they wouldn't even look at me.

9:44 Adam Yeah, but, okay, but, well, hold on, but your parents were good to you?

9:49 Yeah.

9:50 Adam But your grandparents neglected you?

9:52 Yeah.

9:53 Adam But they never abused you?

9:55 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No.

9:56 Adam They just gave you the cold shoulder?

9:57 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

9:59 Adam All right.

9:59 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce I was abused by my boyfriend when I was, maybe like a couple months ago, he beat me.

10:06 Adam No. Okay, we're looking for something that really sets you up for this sort of life of abuse. I mean, even though you're only 13.

10:14 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce I was maybe five or six the first time I was raped.

10:18 Adam There we go. That's just what we're talking about. What happened?

10:22 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce I was in second grade and this guy said that he wanted to play house and he ended up raping me. I didn't know what it was, but yeah.

10:32 Dr. Bruce Was he caught? Were you put into therapy? Was he arrested? What happened?

10:37 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce He said that he didn't know what he was doing. The teachers talked to the police and everything and I ended up going in counseling. I've been in counseling for a long time now and he's living his life the way he wants to. I don't really keep in touch with him anymore.

10:54 Adam Was he older?

10:55 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No.

10:56 Adam So he's 13?

10:58 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

10:58 Adam Well, I'll look into my crystal ball. He's in the seventh grade. He's living his life. He's working on a tuna boat out in Alaska. He's got a couple of kids.

11:07 Dr. Bruce So you're still in therapy?

11:10 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce I recently stopped, but I have a question because this past year, I've been throwing tantrums where I'll be like happy and laughing, then I'll get really mad for no reason. And I'll just start throwing things around and screaming for no reason. I'll just start yelling and doing things. And then I'll like fall to the ground and start crying. And then I'll be like silent for like three hours straight.

11:35 Adam Yeah, that's what Bruce is like that during the commercials.

11:40 Dr. Bruce Yeah, stay with Adam for a few hours.

11:41 Adam All right, well, Don, Don, you got problems, right?

11:44 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

11:45 Adam But the good news is you're 13. I mean, it's like busting your leg when you're 80. You're dead, you know, but you do it at 13. You do some work, you're back on your skateboard. But you got to do some work. I mean, you've been through a lot. You're going to have to get back into counseling. You've got to listen to what people tell you to do, too. Especially, you know, counselors.

12:08 Dr. Bruce It doesn't all make sense to you. You're not going to understand a lot of the requirements of the counseling. And it's a real active process. You have to participate in it. The other thing is, I'm not saying it's your fault, your rape, but people become victims and they play a role and they get themselves in situations where they're at high risk. And so there's a lot more to this than we have time to discuss. But you really need to be in intensive counseling. You have to be perfectly honest with the counselor and really work at the recommendations the counselor gives.

12:35 Adam All right.

12:36 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yup, I love you, Adam.

12:37 Adam I love you. You, listen, I want you to hold out for me.

12:42 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Okay.

12:43 Adam I mean, she's 13. We'll give it a few months. But I'm saying, you know, stay pure for me.

12:50 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Okay.

12:51 Adam Daddy's coming. Okay. And just keep holding out.

12:54 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Okay.

12:55 Adam One day there'll be a knock at the door.

12:57 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Okay.

12:57 Adam That won't be me. But that guy will tell you I'm coming. That's the way I do it. I send a guy ahead.

13:04 All right.

13:05 Adam All right. Take care of it. Bye. Bye bye. Well, there she go. How bad off can she be? She loves me.

13:11 Dr. Bruce Worse than I.

13:12 Adam Forget all the counseling. You're fine. All right. Let's talk to Veronica.

13:18 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Hi.

13:18 Adam Hey, you're on with Crystal Method by the way.

13:20 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Hey, love you guys.

13:22 Adam Thanks.

13:22 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Oh, hey, Adam.

13:24 Adam Yeah.

13:24 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce The Man Show.

13:25 Adam Great. It's on tonight. Comedy Central. Thank you very much. Good times.

13:28 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce All right. My question is, I like ever since I was little, like my nipples like sunk inward, you know? But like whenever they like got like hard or something like that, they like come out, but now they won't and it's like deeper now. And I was just wondering like what could cause that or how could I get rid of it or something like that?

13:46 Dr. Bruce Okay, the concern about nipples going the other way is if they change after adolescence and only one does it, the things people worry about having cancer and...

13:56 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah, I told you right.

13:58 Dr. Bruce Right. Well, but at your age, they both did it and it's a variation that's probably normal for you.

14:03 Adam That's probably in, I don't know, 10 percent of women got a little any going, maybe one side or the other. Yeah, it's definitely around.

14:14 She said just the right one.

14:17 Adam Just the right one?

14:18 Dr. Bruce Now it's done that. So that's a possi-

14:21 Adam That would be my left if I was facing it, right?

14:23 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

14:24 Adam Yeah, okay. Just close to my eyes.

14:26 Dr. Bruce See your doctor, have it examined, it doesn't sound like a problem.

14:29 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Okay.

14:29 Adam Can you coax it out?

14:31 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Huh?

14:31 Adam Can you coax it out?

14:33 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah, like if I squeeze like around it, yeah, it like comes out.

14:37 Adam And if it sees its own shadow, that means it's going to be a long winter?

14:41 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce It runs into.

14:42 Adam I see.

14:43 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce I had kind of another question. Like I was wondering, cause also like when, like I'll run and stuff like that, like if I run for like a while or something like that, like I start shaking really bad and like my knees give out and stuff.

14:54 Adam Yeah.

14:55 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce So I don't know.

14:57 Adam Maybe you're working too hard.

14:58 Huh?

15:00 Adam You're pushing too hard.

15:02 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce It's happened like a lot lately and I'll feel weak and like lightheaded.

15:05 Adam Yeah. What is that?

15:07 Dr. Bruce Blood sugar, diet, weight. There are many variables.

15:10 Adam What about breathing? You can hyperventilate if you're hyperventilating.

15:14 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No, my breathing comes out fine.

15:16 Dr. Bruce Are you overweight?

15:17 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No. Well, I don't know. Not really. I'm like 5'8 and I'm like 1'65.

15:24 Adam Hold on. Let me do the radio, man. 5'8, 1 what?

15:28 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce I'm like 1'55.

15:29 Adam 1'55, carry the three, bring the two. That's 5'5 and 3'8, 171. So it's a little bit overweight.

15:40 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce A little bit?

15:41 Adam Yeah.

15:41 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Okay.

15:42 Adam I was doing the radio, man.

15:43 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce All right.

15:44 Adam All right. Because look, if a chick will lie to you while she's standing in the room, tell you she's 25 pounds lighter, and while you're looking at her, she could be over your shoulder like a fireman, scary, and telling you like, hey, I'm 110. You're 110. I'm bleeding from the groin. You're at least 160. I figure if they're going to lie to you when they're in the room, which is always funny because you definitely can tell the fat ones from the thin ones. It's not like you weigh them. You know what I mean? Like if a chick looked really leggy and great and weighed 250 pounds, you wouldn't really care as long as she... And conversely, you wouldn't want one that was a feather weight that looked like a big sack of doorknobs. So anyway, ladies, don't bother lying while we're in the room. But I'm saying if they're going to lie while we're in the room, imagine what kind of damage they're going to do over the radio. Yeah, I'd really like to research this one day. Bruce, get on this, would you?

16:48 Dr. Bruce Oh, yes.

16:50 Adam Gas up the van, get the scale, let's hit the road.

16:53 Dr. Bruce Robert Wood Johnson will fund this grant, I'm sure.

16:55 Adam That's a little public radio reference there. All right, Crystal Method here. Where are we going? Backup line three. Our computers are out. Everything is out here tonight. The console and the computer and Dr. Drew. It's really a mess. I suggest everyone just tune out.

17:12 Dr. Bruce And watch the man show on Comedy Central.

17:15 Nobody's listening.

17:16 Adam That's right. Now, actually, we should hear a Crystal Method song. Yeah, definitely. Let's take this call and then we'll hear something from Crystal Method. There we go. Amy.

17:26 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

17:27 Adam What's up?

17:29 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Okay. I don't know how to start this. Kind of nervous. Well, every time I get really depressed or like, I don't know, just when I'm really depressed, I'll like turn to like sexual activity, you know, and I don't know how to stop it. And I want to and I know it's bad, but I don't know how to stop.

17:47 Adam Do you have a boyfriend?

17:49 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No.

17:50 Adam Who do you turn to sexual activity with?

17:52 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Like, like, my friends or just my ex-boyfriends or something.

17:57 Adam Right.

17:58 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

17:58 Dr. Bruce Okay. When you're 15, you normally don't turn to that as an instinctual response to stress or depression. So it sounds like something happened to make that connection in your brain when you're much younger. Some somebody molested you or abused you at some point.

18:11 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No.

18:12 Dr. Bruce Nothing happened?

18:12 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No.

18:13 Dr. Bruce Okay. Well, sometimes that does happen. But if you're turning to that now, obviously, and you realize it's a very dangerous way to get rid of depression. People do drugs, they do sex, it increases their dopamine, it changes their brain chemistry, and it's a short fix. They feel good for a while. Then the fallout is there are many problems that are brought on by these type of behaviors.

18:33 Adam So you do drugs, you do sex.

18:36 Dr. Bruce It makes you feel good quickly. When you're 15, that seems like a good solution of the problem.

18:42 Adam Also, how are you going to tell someone who can do whatever they want, namely, a cute 15-year-old girl in a society filled with horny sickos like Ken over here? Tell them not to make something when it feels good. I mean, think about the stuff you didn't do and why you didn't do it. A lot of it was you couldn't get your hands on it. You didn't have the money or no one would do it with you. You know, if you had a whole room filled with coke, it would be real hard not to do coke if you knew you could just open the door and go get some and that's what it's like for her.

19:19 Dr. Bruce Except your parents would normally know if you had a room full of coke. So where are your folks?

19:23 Adam Yeah, but she'd call her old boyfriend and work it out.

19:26 Dr. Bruce Now, when you're 15, are your parents married, living with your parents? What's going on?

19:30 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce I don't live with my parents.

19:31 Who do you live with?

19:33 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce My aunt.

19:34 Dr. Bruce So something happened.

19:35 Adam What's up with that background?

19:38 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Well, my mom died when I was younger and my dad and I don't really get along, but we're like getting along right now, but usually we don't.

19:47 Dr. Bruce Okay. But that again, you may not have been abused or molested when you're younger, but you've got a real tremendous traumas occur in your life.

19:55 Adam How did she die?

19:57 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Car accident.

19:59 Dr. Bruce How old were you?

20:00 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Like seven or six.

20:02 Dr. Bruce Okay. And are you going to a counselor? Are you getting any treatment?

20:05 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No.

20:06 Dr. Bruce Okay.

20:07 Adam You know, it's funny. We always ask that how did they die? And then we give that grunt. As if there was a good one. Like, you know, cancer, I give the grunt or car grunt. But you know, she got shot. Oh, hey. I mean, I don't know why we give the grunt. You know, the grunt's coming. You know, no matter how, whatever the method of death is.

20:26 There's no good way of going out.

20:28 Adam Yeah.

20:29 She doesn't get a massage and like, you know.

20:33 Dr. Bruce It wasn't anything like that.

20:34 Adam Yeah, she got too much pleasure. Her head exploded. All right, so.

20:39 Dr. Bruce Have you been suicidal? Are there any other things going on? How bad is it getting her? Is it mostly the sexual acting out?

20:45 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce I don't know. I get really depressed when I do it. Like, it'll make me feel better. But then later on, it'll just depress me even more.

20:52 Adam OK, so you can't do it.

20:55 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Can't do what?

20:55 Adam The sexing.

20:57 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce What do you mean?

20:58 Dr. Bruce OK, you realize you have a problem, you know you're depressed, you know what you're doing is not right, and it's going to result in real severe problems later on, in addition to whether or not you have any sexually transmitted diseases or.

21:09 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No, I always.

21:10 Dr. Bruce OK, but you got to get yourself to a therapist. Or do you have a family doctor you could start with or a school counselor?

21:16 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No, I can't.

21:18 Dr. Bruce To go to school?

21:19 Well, yeah, but I can't.

21:21 Dr. Bruce A minister?

21:22 Adam Well, listen, how about how about this? Did what does she need to go to a counselor to stop this? She's had a difficult past.

21:30 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Oh, see the counselor is like some old fag guy. No, I feel comfortable asking him.

21:35 Adam Well, maybe if he lost some weight.

21:38 Dr. Bruce Well, that's no, that is a problem. Listen, you got to be comfortable with who you're seeing. But there's not just one fat old guy doing counseling. Where do you live? What state?

21:45 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce California.

21:46 Adam Yeah, like I had a middle-age fat guy as a counselor. So they're not all old fat guys.

21:52 Dr. Bruce Yeah, when you're a teenager, that's tough going to somebody.

21:55 Adam You're not going to talk to your counselor. Let me say this.

21:57 Dr. Bruce She's going to talk to her counselor. We'll find her. They have an 800 number off the air.

22:01 Adam Okay, listen, here's what I need you to do. Here's how life works. There are certain things you know you need to do and certain things you know you shouldn't do and when you start giving in to the things you know you shouldn't do, it weakens you. You feel good the second you're doing it and then you feel bad later on and it makes you a little weaker person, whether it's that second piece of pie or that fifth line of blow, whatever it is, you know you shouldn't do it and you do it and the more you do it, the easier it is to do more of it because you go, oh, F it. Game on. Let's do it. I already start. I'm a mess. I hate myself. But when you don't do it, you gain strength from that. Like when you go, no, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to go out and take a walk instead. You'll get stronger. It'll make it easier the next time. You understand?

22:50 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

22:50 Adam You need a couple of those don't do it's under your belt. You need to feel bad and instead of picking up the phone and going for the maintenance call with the ex-bow, you need to just take a walk.

23:01 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Well, I didn't do it for like three or four months and then like yesterday, I didn't just like completely depressed me.

23:08 Dr. Bruce And what you got to understand, this is a disorder. This is like coming to a doctor and having a sore throat and getting whatever antibiotic. It is something that we see, we treat, we successfully treat it, and it's not something that's mysterious and people don't know what to do with this. So you can get help. You can get very specific help. And if you don't get that help- From where?

23:27 Adam The old fat guy?

23:29 Dr. Bruce No, from the young fat guy. Maybe it's her primary care physician. You've just got to have some trust in an adult that's in the treatment field, whether it's a family doctor.

23:38 Adam All right. And that's fine.

23:40 Dr. Bruce She may need to be on an antidepressant, but this is not normal and there is help you can get. I've had anal sex and I passed out a couple of times.

23:47 Adam Bruce, see? I was going to go on break, but you had to keep talking.

23:50 Dr. Bruce That was a private conversation with you.

23:51 Adam Scott and Ken was more in a conversation, more of a ritual. Scott and Ken both here from Crystal Method. We will hear something off of the new CD as soon as we get back.

24:09 Thank you. Corolla and Dr. Drew.

28:29 Adam Weekend is the name of the CD. Name of the game is the name of the song. Crystal Method is here tonight, and the CD is out July 31st. So write that down on your calendar there, kiddies. Also, the tour will begin July 27th, and Crystal Method will be out and come into a town near you. Bruce in for Drew, Adam in for Adam, James?

28:53 Yeah.

28:53 Adam You're 17?

28:54 Caller Yeah, dude.

28:55 Adam What's up, dude?

28:56 Caller Well, you see, I got this problem because I dated this girl for two weeks, right? And well, it was like one of them BS things where I met her. And so I just like asked her out and it was, yeah. But anyway, we broke up and but we were.

29:16 Adam I know a lot of you are wondering why I'm not saying what or explain that because that was three years ago. I'm just I'm just alone for the ride. I'm like an air freshener on a rearview mirror right now. That's what I am. I get my paycheck and let's go home. Keep going, James.

29:32 You're doing good.

29:34 Caller Anyway, so we've been friends for like six months and well, I've gotten to know her a lot and I want to tell her that I love her because I I kind of want to marry this girl someday, but I ain't stupid enough to do it now.

29:49 Adam Oh, I don't know. I think you may be. You got to give yourself some credit, James. You seem dumb enough.

29:57 Caller Thanks.

29:59 Adam No, you did date her for a couple of weeks or you never dated her?

30:04 Caller I dated her like we went out. Went out on like five dates.

30:09 Adam Why did you? Yeah, I wonder how many she would say you went out on. I'm guessing it wouldn't be as many as five. Why did that end if you loved her?

30:20 Caller Well, because I didn't then. I just met her.

30:24 Adam No, no. This ain't working for me. If Drew were here, he'd be climbing the walls right now because guys are very delusional at 17. If you met a girl and she was into you and you started going out with her, you would be going out with her now. You wouldn't have slid into the friendship mode with her unless she wanted that. Have you ever kissed her?

30:45 Caller Yeah.

30:46 Adam With your tongue?

30:47 Caller Yeah.

30:48 Adam Really?

30:48 Caller Yeah, but she's like down south now. She's in a different state now.

30:53 Adam What is that, a rim chop? What did she do with her tongue?

30:58 Caller I'm saying one of the reasons that we're friends is because she's black.

31:03 Wow.

31:04 Adam All right, I was wrong. Hey, James, where are you? You're calling from Idaho?

31:08 Caller Yeah.

31:09 Adam And where is she?

31:10 Caller She's in Arizona.

31:11 Adam I see. And...

31:13 Caller It's got to be slim-picking to Idaho. You better follow that one. I don't know what you're going to get.

31:19 Adam Well, he recently banged the bejesus out of a 30-pound sack of potatoes. So... You see there, uh, that? Hey, James?

31:27 Caller Yeah?

31:28 Adam Uh, I think you're slightly delusional.

31:31 Caller Yeah, probably.

31:32 Adam You know she... You know she doesn't love you.

31:35 Caller Yeah.

31:36 Adam Now, she says stuff like when you go, hey, you're great, she goes, yeah, yeah, you're great, too. But she's not into you like a boyfriend. Is she?

31:46 Caller Well, I don't...

31:47 Caller She just started going south and then just, like, hit Mexico, and then she stopped. Okay, okay, I'll just stop here.

31:55 Dr. Bruce So, James, when was the last time you talked to her?

31:57 Caller I talked to her two weeks ago.

32:00 Adam Yeah.

32:00 Caller But I emailed her.

32:02 Adam Yeah, James, but here's why I'm trying to discourage you, and we're all giving James a little bit of tough love and a little service here, but here's why. You are going to spend your entire high school career corresponding with some chick who lives eight states away and who's not interested in you at all. Meanwhile, you need to find a nice Idaho in and get to busy.

32:25 Caller Find yourself a nice Idaho.

32:26 Adam That's right. You're going to find a nice Idaho and get busy.

32:30 Caller There you go.

32:32 Adam There you go, James. Don't obsess over this fantasy check. We've all done it. It ain't going to work. All right.

32:38 Caller You're going to miss out on the one that's right for you.

32:41 Adam That's right.

32:42 Caller The next one that moves south.

32:43 Adam That's right. That's the one who had too many wine coolers and has passed out against the hamper at your older brother's place. Miss is right.

32:53 Dr. Bruce You shredded poor James before you gave the advice.

32:55 Adam But you know how guys get with that fantasy and they think they're dating and the person's not dating.

33:00 Caller So when we first met, you know, and then all that BS., you know, like, what does that mean? Usually it starts out, you know, as a wonderful beginning and we had, you know, a great time, but he didn't even say one thing about it.

33:12 Adam Well, they're sketchy on the details because the details would sort of tip their hand, which is...

33:18 Caller I like it when he agrees with himself. You know, yeah.

33:21 Yeah.

33:24 Adam Well, in Idaho, you have to be able to talk to yourself. It's cold there and I don't think they get the cable.

33:31 Dr. Bruce Do they get the Man Show in Idaho?

33:33 Caller They're going to be playing Boise next week.

33:35 Adam Are you?

33:37 Caller Have fun.

33:38 Adam Darren?

33:39 Yeah.

33:39 Adam You're 17.

33:40 Caller What up? First of all, I want to say Man Show is like the greatest show ever.

33:44 Adam Thank you, Darren. You're a genius.

33:48 Caller Thank you for that, Tromo. I just had a question about me and my girlfriend kind of fool around. Sometimes, you know, we like, I guess, to take a drive home, but it's all with our clothes on. You know, and recently I thought this was okay, but I was seeing her that you can get pregnant from doing that. I want to know if that's possible.

34:09 Adam Yes, yes, yes, except for she gives birth to a pair of bib overalls. It's a little, but still, it's still pregnant in a flannel shirt.

34:21 Dr. Bruce It is possible.

34:22 Caller It is possible.

34:23 Dr. Bruce Yeah, the sperm are very, they're very modal.

34:25 Adam Well, it's technically possible.

34:30 Dr. Bruce What do you mean, it's possible?

34:32 Adam Well, listen, you're 17.

34:33 Dr. Bruce He needs to know how possible it is.

34:35 Adam No, but, no, I mean, no, it's possible, but it's certainly not likely or possible.

34:40 Caller How many layers of clothes are we talking about?

34:42 Adam What are you wearing, Darren?

34:43 Caller Um, boxers, pants, her, like, jeans and panties, though.

34:48 Adam Really?

34:48 Caller Four layers of clothes go in there.

34:50 Adam I see. And there's usually a throw rug between you two, I mean, when you get rolling around?

34:56 Caller Yes.

34:56 Caller How possible could it be with all those clothes on?

34:58 Caller I'd put the condom on before you put the pants on, just to be safe.

35:02 Dr. Bruce That would be safer. I've seen the immaculate conception of her many times. I delivered a baby once, somebody never had sex.

35:08 Adam Darren, how old is she?

35:10 Caller Oh, she's the same age.

35:11 Adam And are you guys religious people?

35:14 Caller Uh, no.

35:15 Adam So are you holding out?

35:16 Caller I'm about as like atheist as you are.

35:18 Adam Are you holding out? Is she holding out for intercourse?

35:22 Caller Yeah, she doesn't want to get pregnant. I mean, our school is full of like obese pregnant women, so.

35:27 Adam Interesting. That must be... Look, forget health class. Let's talk to the pregnant students. So you don't want to get her pregnant. She doesn't want to get pregnant. Good. So you're just doing the dry humping. But here's the problem is it's going to turn into more than dry humping. You're not going to be ready.

35:43 Caller Yeah.

35:44 Adam Maybe she should get on the pill or you should get a condom or something.

35:46 Caller Oh, I got condoms, though. But, yeah.

35:48 Adam All right. Well, listen, she's not going to get pregnant.

35:51 Caller All right.

35:52 Dr. Bruce I think the Crystal Method advice is good. Put the condom on underneath everything because when you lose, when you lose your willpower, it's going to happen quickly.

36:00 Caller Maybe move to a different part of the body, like to the side or something. Because when you're dry humping with all those clothes on, you really don't really know where you're at in the body.

36:08 Adam So that's true.

36:09 Caller You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying, right?

36:11 Caller Yeah, I hear you.

36:12 Caller So just maybe turn to the side or something.

36:14 Caller Yeah.

36:15 Adam All right. Happy humping.

36:17 Caller Thanks. And I just want to say that song by Crystal Method, Kick Ass.

36:20 Caller Oh, thank you. Thank you. Good.

36:21 Adam The CD is coming out the 31st of July.

36:24 Caller I probably won't buy it, but you know.

36:25 Adam Yeah. No, that's cool. Don't buy it.

36:27 Caller You are an asshole.

36:28 Caller Too busy dry humping.

36:32 Adam You know, the CD comes with a hole in it. You can put your dick through there, Darren.

36:37 Caller Son of a bitch.

36:38 Adam These kids are all smartasses now. You notice that? They didn't have the kind of discipline and respect we had when we were coming up.

36:46 Dr. Bruce Well, you're sure role model if we're in Dallas.

36:49 Adam Well, I couldn't figure out his strategy. Like the Crystal Method song, he just wasn't going to buy the CD.

36:54 Dr. Bruce It's that attitude.

36:55 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, you know, we're going to play another one tonight. So if he likes the two, you got to figure he's going to like every song on the CD.

37:03 Dr. Bruce It troubles me as a health professional thinking of these youth listening to the Man Show or watching the Man Show. It seems to be very popular with the youth.

37:09 Adam That's right.

37:10 Dr. Bruce Disturbing.

37:11 Adam Thank you. Ashley?

37:12 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yep.

37:12 Adam You're 15?

37:13 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

37:13 Adam You're on with Crystal Method.

37:15 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Hi.

37:16 Hi.

37:17 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce How are you guys doing?

37:18 Great.

37:18 Caller Doing well.

37:19 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Good. Okay. Here's the thing. I've been seeing my boyfriend for about two years, a little over a year and a half. And I want to talk to my mom about getting on birth control, but I don't really know how to bring it up.

37:33 Dr. Bruce How much have you been seeing of him? Like naked or?

37:37 Caller Yeah.

37:38 Adam How old is he?

37:39 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce He's 15 too.

37:40 Adam Oh, that son of a bitch.

37:43 Dr. Bruce Now, you can go to a clinic without parental consent, I believe.

37:47 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce I really want to let my mom know, though. Well, you do.

37:49 Dr. Bruce That's great.

37:50 Adam You want to get her in on it?

37:51 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah. But I just don't know how to bring it up.

37:54 Adam Well, here's how you do it. Mom, okay, first off, don't judge, don't panic so far. Just blow in the bejesus out of him. No actual intercourse.

38:02 Caller We're dry humping.

38:05 Adam But. Are you doing the oral sex thing?

38:07 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

38:08 Adam Okay. Well, don't don't weave that into the initial conversation.

38:12 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce I kind of want to stay away from it.

38:14 Adam Mom, I got TMJ. I've been blowing a shy for a year solid now. Now we got to get on the pill and move things ahead here because I swear to God, I'm not going to be able to eat corn on a cob.

38:26 Dr. Bruce So what's your relationship like with your mom? Is she cool?

38:29 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce She's always told me even before I dated anyone, if you're ready to have sex, come to me, but I just don't want it to be obvious.

38:35 Caller She said that for a reason. She really wants you to come to her. My wife's mom is very much like that and she's very cool.

38:43 Adam Call her out on it, yeah.

38:45 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce So was she pretty cool?

38:46 Caller Not too many moms say that, first of all. I just wake her up right now. Go wake her up and tell her you need to go. You need to go to her first thing in the morning. You don't want to get pregnant.

38:58 Adam Your dad's not around though, right?

39:00 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No.

39:01 Adam Yeah, that's right.

39:02 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Well, I don't know my real dad because I guess he's a psycho or something. So my mom left him while she's pregnant with me. And then she met my dad. He adopted me when I was three and my other dad, who I call my dad.

39:15 Caller Your stepdad?

39:16 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah, well, kind of. But then they got divorced and then my mom got married again. And this guy's really cool. And then my dad, who I call my dad, who is my brother's dad. He lives in Phoenix. It's kind of a big mess, but everybody is really happy now. So I think everything turned out good.

39:32 Adam Talk to your mom about birth control tomorrow.

39:34 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce All right.

39:34 Adam And she knows you've had a boyfriend for a couple of years, so she's got to see it coming. I was just telling Drew about this a few weeks ago. You know, I got step parents. I guess everyone has step parents now, maybe a couple sets of step parents. And I always feel like an idiot is a 37 year old man. When I call my dad's house and my step mom picks up the phone, I'm not sure what to call my dad. Like his name is Jim, but it's weird going, can I talk to Jim? Because he's my dad. But I don't want to say, can I talk to dad? Because that seems weird because she's my step mom. So I always go, can I talk to my dad? And it's always weird because I got to put the my in front of dad. Like, can you guys come up with something better for me to say? The old guy, the old man or like, maybe I should do do something.

40:20 Caller Is he there? My step father always, he jumps the gun. You want to talk to your mom? You want to talk to your mom? Oh, yeah. He's always ends the conversation. I'm like, hey Jim, how you doing? Da da da. Great, great. You want to talk to your mom? Okay, he just cuts right through all that. I appreciate that.

40:38 Adam I should hook up my step mom with your step dad. I could talk about step parent etiquette. I sit there for like 20 minutes and then we start getting weird stuff. How's work? Good, good. What do you do again? Yeah, yeah.

40:51 Dr. Bruce She probably knows how to make some people feel uncomfortable.

40:53 Caller Just really freaker. I just say, I want to talk to daddy.

40:55 I want to talk to daddy?

40:56 Adam I need, I say, I need daddy.

41:00 Caller All right.

41:01 Adam Crystal Method is here. So is Dr. Bruce filming for Dr. Drew. We will come back with more calls, questions, and music after this.

41:10 Hello, this is Loveline.

41:18 Adam I love that riff. Yeah, great. That's Sum 41, right?

41:25 Caller The video is very funny. The end where it goes into the heavy metal thing.

41:29 Adam Have you seen it? Yeah. Yeah, they slide into the Striper outfits.

41:33 Caller Striper outfits. Striper.

41:34 Adam Circa.

41:35 Caller To hell with the devil.

41:37 Adam 87.

41:38 Caller You're a Striper fan, are you?

41:40 Adam Pretty big, pretty big. I followed them for, well, I've only followed them for like eight years.

41:44 Caller Yeah.

41:45 Adam You know, you know those impressionable years between 23 and 31.

41:52 Dr. Bruce Adolescent years.

41:53 Adam You catch an act on MTV, you got some free time on your hands, you hit the road with the band. I mean, not in the band, but following the band. Crystal Method is our guest tonight. Queekend is the name of the CD and it'll be out July 31st. We'll hear something else off it as the night rolls on when we left off. Of course, Dr. Bruce doing a more than adequate job filling in for Dr. Drew tonight.

42:19 Dr. Bruce I've had anal sex and I passed out a couple of times.

42:21 Adam I knew it, but he always ruins it by talking about anal sex. Whenever I give him a compliment, he always blurt out the anal sex.

42:27 Dr. Bruce A new sound bite there.

42:29 Adam Hey, Jay?

42:30 Yeah, still here.

42:31 Adam All right. So you had a question for Crystal Method.

42:33 Oh, I just wanted to let him know that Boise is not something to be feared. I heard the sound of cowards in their voices.

42:40 Caller No, we're actually psyched.

42:42 Caller We've never played Boise before.

42:43 Caller Our favorite thing actually is to play places we haven't played before. And so we're excited about it.

42:50 Caller Two calls from Idaho? Are you in Idaho?

42:52 Yeah, I'm right here in Idaho.

42:54 Caller Wow, very cool. Well, we'll be there soon.

42:57 Yeah, well, that's going to be cool.

42:58 Caller You're going to come to the show?

42:59 Oh, I've had my tickets for weeks, man.

43:00 Caller Oh, very cool.

43:01 Adam Oh, you already got the tickets.

43:03 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah.

43:04 I just wanted to say, you guys at Crystal Method, you kick so much ass, it's not even funny. Adam, I love that risk from Some41, and you're more than just a genius, you're an evil genius. Oh, thank you.

43:16 Caller And Dr. Drew, Yo.

43:17 You are a pathetic excuse for a radio personality.

43:20 Caller Oh, that's not nice.

43:22 Adam Oh, come on, yeah, I like you.

43:23 Dr. Bruce All right, good man.

43:24 Caller You are an asshole.

43:26 Adam Yeah, because that-

43:27 Caller These are prepared statements of these guys.

43:31 Dr. Bruce I was crestfallen.

43:32 Adam Yeah. All right, Bruce, really, he was kidding. There were elements of truth to it, but he was overall kidding, overall.

43:39 Dr. Bruce I had some profound comments about Idaho prepared.

43:43 Adam Buddy?

43:44 Yeah.

43:44 Adam You're 19?

43:45 Caller Yeah.

43:46 Caller I have a quick question. First of all, Adam, you kick ass.

43:50 Adam Yes, thank you.

43:52 By the way, your show that you always talk about?

43:55 Adam The Man Show. Yes.

43:58 Caller That's on MTV, right?

43:59 Adam No. How dare you? Comedy Central.

44:02 Caller Don't bring up MTV.

44:04 Adam Yes.

44:04 Dr. Bruce I like Buddy.

44:06 Caller He's a joky.

44:08 Adam All right. So you got a question for the band?

44:10 Caller Yeah.

44:11 Caller How did you guys get your name?

44:17 Caller Now Anderson is, he is good. He is really good.

44:22 Adam Yes. Everyone thinks it's a drug reference, but it's not.

44:25 Caller Well, I mean, obviously, we heard the drug reference in it. And we thought, you know, that will be something perfect to scare parents and get people interested in the band. But actually, that's completely not how the name came about.

44:38 Dr. Bruce And of course, Tweekend has nothing to do with it.

44:41 Caller Well, actually, the Tweekend, we were going to call the album 7 Day Tweekend because it took us, I mean, we were here playing Vegas, I think, for you like three or four years ago. And usually the cycle is a little bit shorter between, you know, albums. So we actually called it Tweekend because it was the end of the tweak, the end of the constantly changing and adjusting the...

45:01 Adam The tweaking, yes.

45:03 Caller Yes.

45:03 Adam Yes, engineers tweak things when they design an airplane.

45:07 Caller Dr. Bruce has got a dirty mind over there. He's...

45:09 Dr. Bruce That tweak can be very... I had anal sex and I passed out. That was after tweaking on some crystal.

45:17 Caller Good Lord.

45:19 Adam Do you want to tell the story about how the band got the name, or do you want to leave the mystery in the kids' minds?

45:25 Caller Oh, we can tell the story. All right, go ahead. There was this girl in Las Vegas that used to give us rides everywhere, and we were working with this rapper who wasn't very good, but he did come up with one brilliant line once, and he asked how we were getting somewhere to a party or something that night, and he goes, Oh, I know the Crystal Method, and we didn't have a band name at the time.

45:52 Adam And Crystal was the name of the girl with the car.

45:55 Caller Yeah.

45:55 Caller I just like the way that it sounds. Don't take it literally, like Def Leppard. Nobody's thinking that they named her Banner for like a boy.

46:04 Caller Yeah, we definitely heard that. We definitely thought the drug reference was part of the appeal, and same with the album name too. But we think it's funny. We don't do anything to promote drug use or abuse, and we just think it's funny.

46:20 Adam All right, and that's the story of the Crystal Method name. Oda, Ada, Oda? Yeah, it's Oda. Oda, what's up there, Oda?

46:29 Caller First off, I'd like to say, dude, Crystal Method, you guys rock, man, seriously. Thanks, man.

46:35 Caller Thanks. Where are you at, Oda?

46:38 Caller I'm in Northridge, California. Or not Northridge, North Hollywood, sorry.

46:42 Dr. Bruce Oh, OK.

46:43 Caller Yep, North Hollywood.

46:44 Adam Bad times. What streets are you living on?

46:47 Caller Colfax.

46:47 Adam Hey, I grew up on Colfax.

46:49 Caller No kidding.

46:50 Adam Yeah.

46:51 Caller Whoa.

46:51 Adam Colfax and Colfax in Houston.

46:53 Caller Oh, no way.

46:54 Adam Yeah.

46:55 Caller He's living in your old house, I think.

46:57 Caller What's your...

46:58 Adam He just got done raping my mom. He's going to kill my stepdad now.

47:04 Caller All right. Well, anyway, it's like...

47:06 Adam Well, wait a minute. What street are you on?

47:08 Caller I'm on Colfax.

47:10 Adam I know, but then I gave you the Houston Cross Street and you went no way. Like, you know, that was your street or nearby or something.

47:16 Caller Yeah, dude. I'm on Colfax and Houston right there.

47:19 Adam Oh, you are?

47:19 Caller Yeah, seriously.

47:20 Adam Wow.

47:21 Caller I know. Eerie, huh?

47:22 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

47:23 Adam Hold on. Let me call my mom.

47:25 Caller I'm creeping up the front door.

47:28 Caller Oh, creative caller.

47:30 Dr. Bruce I like it.

47:31 Caller All right. But yeah, so like you guys read on the prompter, I have a history of sleepwalking and I've done some really weird stuff ever since like age nine. And that night I distinctly remembered dreaming something not even erotic. I was actually dreaming about a game that I was playing earlier that day. And but you know, I just wake up in the middle of the dream and I'm looming over my couple. See, the thing is, I'm not sure if she's exactly my cousin. I mean, we're really close, they're really close acquaintances with the family, but I'm not sure what blood tie-ins they have.

48:09 Dr. Bruce Okay. I think tie it, tie, tie this all together.

48:12 Adam They, I, I, by the way, this is something that I think parents do to try to prevent you from having sex with them. You know, like it's a friend of the family who's got a hot 15 year old and you got a horny 15 year old and you go, that's your cousin, Monique. Yeah, I think so. Don't touch her. Oh, your uncle. Yeah, yeah, that guy's my brother. That's uncle. Yeah.

48:37 Caller Calm down Adam.

48:37 Dr. Bruce So you had sex when you sleepwalk or what?

48:39 Caller No, not sex. I mean, aside from that, that this is actually the first time I've had any sort of sexual activity when I was sleepwalking. Mostly it's just running into walls or a pit in the closet.

48:51 Dr. Bruce Right.

48:52 Adam But what is this girl doing in your house?

48:54 Caller No, I was in her house. See, I was with my aunt. She lives with my aunt. So what's it called? So I was over there and my mom had a business trip that she had to go to that was in New York.

49:06 Adam I see. Is this your aunt's daughter?

49:09 Caller No, she's not my aunt's daughter. She's, I guess, like I said, I'm not too clear on what she is. All I know is that we call her a cousin.

49:18 Adam Okay, you don't know what she is to your aunt.

49:20 Dr. Bruce Is there a question here?

49:21 Adam Hold on a second. You sleepwalking now? Does she adopt her?

49:28 Caller No, she's, okay, my aunt, it's her husband's brother's daughter's.

49:35 Adam All right, see, I tell you, you might as well just take the entire family system, just put it in a Cuisinart, just spill it out on the sidewalk, because that's all we got now, a bunch of half-brothers and step-cousins, and everything's a mess. No one even knows who anyone really is anymore.

49:50 Caller Well, my question is basically, Bruce, even though you're a mediocre physician, I was wondering, what methods can I take to make sure that this doesn't happen again? Because I'm really tired of sleepwalking. I wake up in the morning with bruises and my mom with these funny stories.

50:08 Adam All right. Hold on there. What can you do?

50:10 Dr. Bruce Well, it's a bona fide sleep disorder. It's not something that's some sort of pathology. So if you have that behavior, there's really not a specific treatment for it.

50:21 Adam And it's dangerous.

50:23 Dr. Bruce Well, I rarely do somebody get into any kind of real difficulty. It's usually something that happens as a stage for a period of time. It's not something he's going to.

50:33 Adam You wouldn't do anything any differently. I mean, what I'm saying is, is people go, well, you're sleepwalking. You could walk right off a bridge and fall to your death, but you wouldn't jump off a bridge when you were sleepwalking any more than you would when you were awake. Do you know what I'm saying?

50:49 Dr. Bruce Right.

50:50 Adam Because you're sort of conscious even though you're unconscious, right?

50:54 Dr. Bruce Well, there was an interesting case where an individual claimed as his defense that he murdered his in-laws while in a sleepwalking state in which he got in a car and drove somewhere.

51:06 Caller Right.

51:07 Dr. Bruce There are sleep specialists now that look at these things, and that's an extreme case, but people normally will walk places, and sometimes will unlock or open a door.

51:16 Adam By the way, I always like when they give like defenses like that, because by the way, that just means you were going to do it the next morning. You just got an early jump on it that night. And number two, for me, more reason why we should put you away. Listen, you just killed a family, you didn't even know it. Isn't that grounds enough to put you away? I mean, aren't you even more dangerous than the guy who does it in a premeditated fashion?

51:41 Dr. Bruce Yeah, but this guy sounds like he has just garden variety, sleepwalking, he's got all kinds of problems over there.

51:47 Adam All right, so he should go what? Talk to a doctor, maybe see about going to a sleep clinic or something like that?

51:53 Dr. Bruce Right. Well, it's a little bit overkill. I think he should just wait and he hasn't really done anything. He touched somebody.

52:00 Adam Well, is there anything you can do? I mean, to trick yourself or wake yourself up? You know, chain your foot to the bed or something like that?

52:09 Dr. Bruce No.

52:09 Adam Because you just undo it.

52:11 Dr. Bruce You could chain your foot to the bed, but you're just going to...

52:13 Adam You're going to undo yourself?

52:14 Dr. Bruce Right. Or not be able to fall asleep.

52:17 Adam Alright. Let's keep going here. We'll speak to Jonathan. Jonathan?

52:22 What's up?

52:22 Adam You're 19. What's going on?

52:25 Caller Crystal Method, what's up, guys?

52:26 Caller What's up, Jonathan?

52:27 Caller Big fan.

52:28 Adam Thanks, man.

52:29 Caller I'm going to see you guys in Portland in a couple of weeks.

52:31 Caller Oh, cool. At the Big Stink.

52:33 Caller Yeah, Big Stink. I wanted to ask you about you guys' techniques and how you guys work in the studio. Do you just sit around with a couple of turntables and a sampler? How does it work when you're doing a record and stuff?

52:49 Caller Well, not with turntables at all. We, you know, samplers, sequencers, synthesizers.

52:56 Caller Yeah, we have our favorite, like, synths and, you know, we tend to, you know, try not to just sit around and stare at them. We tend to, you know, have ideas when we go in there and we jump on one and we'll work out a beat or a rhythm or come up with a hook. Are you an aspiring musician yourself?

53:16 Caller Yeah, I'm an aspiring musician not necessarily in, like, like DJing or anything, but definitely an aspiring musician.

53:23 Adam What do you do with the sampler? Because, like, you know, I mean, you have to load it, right, with something? You don't have to go get the sample and load it into the sampler?

53:34 Caller Well, samplers can be two things. They can just have samples of pianos and whatever and basically play just like a piano.

53:42 Adam Oh, I see.

53:43 Caller Or you can put vocals in and other things for, like, sound effects or little hooks.

53:48 Caller So you have some gear now?

53:49 Caller What's that?

53:50 Caller You have some gear?

53:52 Caller I don't have my own sampler, but I've messed around with a couple here and there.

53:56 Caller This is what you do. You save your money, you go down to the Guitar Center or some other big place like that, and you play on every single one until you find one you like because, you know, they let you do that. And find one you like and then take it home and then you still have 30 days to take it back. Make sure that you like it. And don't let some of those guys talk you into something else.

54:14 Adam No, and here's the good news with the Guitar Center, they're having a red tag blowout. Because the samplers are...

54:22 Caller You're a red tag blowout.

54:24 Caller They've got all the blowouts from...

54:27 Adam Yamaha Drums Kit, a nickel. Drumsticks, phrase, many you can carry.

54:32 Caller To the last chance you'll have this weekend to buy what you need. I always get the guy that does the tractor truck pull. Like that guy, he does his guitar center thing on Thursday and then he comes in the next day. Okay, what am I doing? Okay, this is a tractor truck pull.

54:45 Adam I don't even think it's a different day. I think he's in the studio that day and like he's going, the shy town hustler, Shirley Cha-Cha on the down, some go, some blow. Orange County International Raceway, Fox on Wednesday night, Fox Night, English Leather Girls are going to be there. Papa Do-Run-Run is going to be playing in the infield.

55:04 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Fox is free.

55:07 Adam Shirley Cha-Cha on the down, he's going to take the crown, but Big Daddy's got other ideas. Liquid Nitro, drop it on the ground, drop a match on it virtually, another one put inside a 427 cubic inch Hemi-Engine. Liquid Dynamo, okay, all right, what's this? Guitar Center, yeah, drumsticks and nickel, Hammond-Oregon free, come on down, Pearl Drum Stets, half off. Every time I hear one of those commercials, I go, I gotta start a band, I have to start a band, I cannot believe that one of those Korg keyboards was going for 1800 bucks, it's now only $70, I gotta start a band.

55:51 Caller And there's always a new inventory, new inventory's coming in, we need to liquidate fast. And we fall for it every week, it's the same, somehow we don't...

56:00 Adam Everybody does that, I like when car dealers do it, we screwed up, we bought way too many Taurus's, now we're overflowing and we got a deal. It's like, really, did you really do it? Cause last month you were saying you had too many Taurus's, every month you got too many Taurus's, and every season, it's dealing days. I always like that though, where you're gonna pounce on them, hey they screwed up, our sales guy, I like the one too, the boss doesn't know it, but we're giving away minivans. Really, the boss hears some of the radio spots, if the boss is pissed, doesn't seem like a good plan to get on the radio and start yelling, the boss is on out of town and we're giving away torches, we're making deals. And I like this one too, no reasonable offer refuted.

56:54 Dr. Bruce Don't you think hospitals should start advertising that?

56:58 Adam You know what I said for hospitals, because there's always this controversy about how long people stay, how much money it costs to keep people in intensive care, and the guy's 85, he should have been dead 10 years ago, we're just keeping him alive and it's 10 grand a week to keep this old Deezer alive. Here's my plan, it sounds radical and maybe Orwellian or Hitler-esque, but really think about it. Life support machines have a coin slot, okay? And as long as there's loved ones there to feed those quarters in, grandpa stays alive, but the second that dries up, he's gone. And that solves the problem, because who would want to go return to a world with no loved ones to feed their respirator, right? And if you didn't love the guy, then you let him die.

57:47 Dr. Bruce Or what about time women on the...

57:49 Adam No, it's like a parking meter, just if you can keep feeding it, he stays alive.

57:53 Caller That's kind of like the DNR, right? Do Not Recess the Time.

57:56 Dr. Bruce Right, right.

57:57 Adam All right. Some goes, some blow. Oh, yeah, that's right. You know, I swear to Christ, the Fox night, they would play Fox on the Run by Sweet in the background. And the guy just be going, he'd be going nuts. Fox is free. That's right, boys. Oh, yeah. But a lot of hotties came out to the drag races in Pomona on a Wednesday night. Papa Do-Run-Run in the infield.

58:28 Dr. Bruce Yep.

58:29 Adam English Leather Girls signing calendars. Very hot. Josh?

58:34 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

58:34 Adam You're 20.

58:35 Caller Yeah, I just want to say, actually, Dr. Bruce, I don't know why everyone picks on him, but he's a really pleasant guy. He's got a nice voice.

58:42 Adam He really is.

58:43 Dr. Bruce Josh, you're a gem of a guy. I've had anal sex and I've passed out a couple of times.

58:47 Adam What's up there, Josh?

58:49 Caller Well, I don't know if anyone's going to remember this, but about four and a half years ago, The Crystal Method was promoting Vegas and they were in on a show there. They said they would actually do a remix of the Dr. Drew Boogie or the Dr. Drew Boogie.

58:58 Adam Oh, yes. I do remember that.

59:01 Caller I was going to bring this up. We recently went through those CDs that it wasn't Anderson. Right. There was- Mike. Was right. He's a really great guy, but he put together a bad compilation. I mean, I did go through-

59:18 Caller You know, we did a remix with Jimmy Samuels.

59:22 Caller Yeah, that was how we brought it up, because you said, maybe you should do one with Dr. Drew Boogie or whatever. So I actually did go through those, but Anderson could help us out here.

59:35 Adam Did you? Anderson can't even help himself. I don't expect him to help you guys or the show.

59:42 I'm trying to do my best here under really difficult circumstances.

59:47 Adam Now, was it the Dr. Drew? He's a genius. Did he help? I mean, did he do the boogie or is it the shuffle that you had?

59:58 Caller Actually, I don't even know if he gave us the right one. Was this one?

1:00:01 Adam Asshole.

1:00:02 Caller Yeah. You wanted us to do a remix or something similar to this, so he gave us two CDs.

1:00:08 Adam Right. This sounds decent enough to me, but to guys like you, to your trained ears, this is hack crap, right?

1:00:15 Caller No, we were intrigued.

1:00:16 Caller We would need his vocal tone.

1:00:18 Caller It was very cut up. It was like, you know, I am gay. Right.

1:00:22 Adam We need to smooth it out.

1:00:23 Caller Yeah, if we can just get... Actually, I was taping a few of the shows when Tricky was in here.

1:00:29 Adam Oh, interesting.

1:00:30 Caller And I was going to try to pull something off of that because we really did want to have something prepared.

1:00:33 Adam Well, why don't you guys cancel the tour and get to work?

1:00:36 Dr. Bruce That's what we're doing.

1:00:38 Caller That's the plan.

1:00:39 Adam I mean, you know where your bread is buttered, right? It's not out in Idaho.

1:00:42 Caller It's right here.

1:00:45 Adam All right. All right. So are you're saying we can at the end of the night tonight, maybe Anderson? No, Anderson says forget.

1:00:52 Caller No, he's not into it.

1:00:53 Adam I forget. Hey, Josh.

1:00:55 Caller We'll look it up.

1:00:55 Adam Thanks. All right.

1:00:56 Caller Thank you.

1:00:59 Adam I think we answered his question.

1:01:00 Caller He's been holding on to that little nugget for a while, though. He's been waiting for this remix to pop up.

1:01:05 Adam Remember in 84 when you guys came in? Bill?

1:01:09 Yeah.

1:01:10 Adam What's up?

1:01:11 Well, Crystal Method, this new stuff you guys, you guys got that. That's fantastic.

1:01:15 Caller Oh, thank you. From my world. Thank you.

1:01:19 And I want to ask Adam, you've mentioned the show Lidsville on the show before. Right. Was watching that, was that an emotionally scarring experience?

1:01:33 Adam Lidsville?

1:01:34 Caller Yeah.

1:01:35 Adam Yeah. It wasn't when I was watching, but I've seen it as an adult and it is now. Yes. Very bizarre. You guys remember Lidsville? Sid and Marty Croft? No. Bruce, what is it that you don't remember anything? Yeah.

1:01:48 Caller Like HR. Puff and Stuff or something?

1:01:50 Adam Yeah. The guy fell down, the magician's giant hat. And yeah, it had to Charles Nelson Riley was the Hoodoo Guru.

1:01:57 Caller Yeah.

1:01:58 Adam HR.

1:01:58 Caller Puff and Stuff.

1:01:58 Adam Wait, was that HR.?

1:02:00 Caller Yeah.

1:02:00 Adam Well, then wait a minute. Who was the antagonist in Lidsville? That was the same thing. Hey Anderson, you've seen Lidsville, haven't you? No? What is this? It's like some kind of retarded mutiny that goes on here every night. Sorry. I get gas lit by everybody when I'm the genius. Yeah. Bill, you've seen Lidsville, right? Bill? Caller Bill? Idiot who brought up Lidsville?

1:02:27 Caller Oh yeah. Yeah.

1:02:28 Adam Yeah. It's bizarre. It's like some kind of drug trip, right?

1:02:31 Caller Well, I've only seen little bits of it, like clips of stuff.

1:02:36 Dr. Bruce So he hasn't seen it here?

1:02:37 Adam All right. Can I hang up on you now?

1:02:39 Caller Yeah, go ahead. All right.

1:02:43 Adam I need to regroup. I can't believe, no one, is anybody in this studio seen Lidsville? Are you guys, are you effing me? Really? Me? I'm the only guy out of the eight or nine people that are here, not in the studio, but also in the other studio that have seen Lidsville, that know the name Lidsville? Lids, don't no one knows Lidsville? Doesn't know the name Lidsville.

1:03:03 Caller And you're not thinking of HR Post, huh?

1:03:05 Adam They're the same people, same time, same show, essentially, but everything was a hat. Lidsville, everyone was a hat.

1:03:13 Caller Oh, boy.

1:03:14 Adam Now, listen, Anderson, come on, get on that computer and find Lidsville, for Christ's sake. I cannot. I wait, wait, all my normal friends here this tomorrow. They're going to freak.

1:03:23 Caller This computer doesn't work. OK.

1:03:25 Dr. Bruce There's no lid like a unit of sale for marijuana.

1:03:27 Caller All right.

1:03:27 Adam We're going to take a break. I'm going to yell at everybody about Lidsville and then we'll be back. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce, Scott and Ken are both here from Crystal Method. Tweekend is the name of the CD. Out July 31st and the tour is going to start even sooner. So look for them coming to a town near you. And let's keep rolling along with the calls. Johnny?

1:03:59 Caller Yeah.

1:04:00 Adam You're 20?

1:04:01 Caller Uh huh.

1:04:01 Adam What's up?

1:04:02 Caller First of all, I want to tell you, Drew, dude, you're so awesome, dude. I love you, dude.

1:04:07 Adam Who do you love?

1:04:08 Caller I love you, Adam.

1:04:09 Adam Oh, thank you.

1:04:10 Caller You're awesome, dude. And I wish Dr. Drew was there. I'd tell him I love him, too.

1:04:14 Dr. Bruce Don't you love me?

1:04:16 Caller Oh, yeah. I love you more than him.

1:04:17 Adam There.

1:04:17 Caller Good. He's a good guy, too, you know?

1:04:21 Adam Yeah. What's going on with the phone there, Johnny?

1:04:23 Caller I don't know.

1:04:25 Adam It's ironic when I ask him what's up with the phone and then I can't understand him when he answers the phone still left up.

1:04:30 Caller Can you hear me now?

1:04:31 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:04:32 Adam Ask your question real fast.

1:04:34 Caller Well, I don't have pre-com.

1:04:36 Adam You don't?

1:04:37 Caller I was wondering, like, with that, like, what's up with that, because I've heard, like, mostly every guy gets it and I, like, I don't even know what it is.

1:04:44 Dr. Bruce It's very sneaky. It's very sneaky. It's very clear. You can't see it and I guarantee you there's the sperm and the pre-com there. They're there before you expect them.

1:04:53 Caller You must be going really fast.

1:04:55 Caller No, no. Everything's great, dude. I'm acting like, I can, like, tax fly over, like, 45 minutes an hour, dude. Everything's awesome.

1:05:01 Caller How do you know if you don't have pre-com if you're...

1:05:04 Dr. Bruce If you're having sex.

1:05:05 Caller How do you know?

1:05:06 Caller How do I know what?

1:05:07 Caller Dude, you don't have it. If you're in...

1:05:09 Caller Couldn't I be giving it if I was, like, masturbating?

1:05:11 Adam Yeah. Well, listen. As a guy who's got a hell of a nad gasp, I got, like, a Delta Faucet down there. I mean, it does not... I have no drippage. Believe me, I know my own penis. I know it well. But there's different degrees. I mean, there's some guys who can sit there. They'll watch a porn movie, and they'll have a spot in their pants halfway into the porn movie, not because they had an orgasm, but because their penis is almost drooling. You know, that's what it is. I mean, that's what your mouth does. I mean, you watch a commercial for... You know, the guy's cutting a big steak, and all of a sudden, your mouth starts getting some saliva going in it, or you smell some lasagna coming in from the kitchen. Your mouth starts to, like, pre-lubricate, right? I mean, it's going like, hey, we're going to be eating soon. And your penis does that, too, right? You get an erection, you see some pornography, you think you're screwing around with some chick, you think you know where it's heading, that's what happens.

1:06:15 Dr. Bruce Right.

1:06:16 Caller Dry humping.

1:06:17 Adam And we're dry humping, and it happens with most guys. Some guys, it's a problem, other guys, not as big.

1:06:23 Dr. Bruce There's just a very, there's a gradient as with anything else in nature. Some people have something very early on. This guy has it, but it's probably a lot shorter period of time.

1:06:36 Adam It probably doesn't have it as much as other guys. It's like some people sweat a lot, other people don't sweat.

1:06:42 Dr. Bruce But don't fool yourself, you can get somebody pregnant with that.

1:06:45 Adam That's right. That's right. The air that comes out of your penis has sperm in it, right, Bruce?

1:06:52 Dr. Bruce No.

1:06:53 Caller Oh.

1:06:54 Adam Kaylee? Kylie?

1:06:56 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Kaylee.

1:06:57 Adam Kaylee.

1:06:57 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yes.

1:06:58 Adam You're 15.

1:06:59 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yes.

1:06:59 Caller What's up?

1:07:01 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce My boyfriend has been going out for like a year and he expressed that he wanted to have sex with me. And I don't know how to tell him no because I have AIDS and I don't want to like pass it on or anything.

1:07:11 Adam How'd you get AIDS?

1:07:13 Caller My mom.

1:07:14 Adam How'd she give you AIDS? Oh, really?

1:07:18 Dr. Bruce And you're 15 now and you're in otherwise, you're in good health on medication. What's your health status?

1:07:25 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah, I do IVIG every month.

1:07:28 Adam You get your T cell checked and all that count done and everything?

1:07:33 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:07:34 Adam And what are you on?

1:07:36 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Um, so many medicines. I just call them like the colors, like the blue ones, the green ones, not the green ones, I mean the red ones.

1:07:43 Dr. Bruce Well, that's a tough situation when you're 15, especially. Your relationship with this guy has been going on for how long?

1:07:51 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Like a year.

1:07:52 Dr. Bruce Okay.

1:07:53 Adam And have you been, what else have you been doing with him?

1:07:57 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Nothing really big, like lots of cuddling and kissing and hugging and talking.

1:08:02 Adam Yeah. Do you do serious making out? Yeah. That might freak him too.

1:08:12 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah, that's what I don't want to tell him.

1:08:14 Adam Yeah, this is a bit of a predicament. I think you should never tell him.

1:08:19 Dr. Bruce How old is he?

1:08:21 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce 15.

1:08:22 Dr. Bruce Okay. Are you in any kind of support group or do you have other kids you know that are in the same situation you are?

1:08:29 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No.

1:08:29 Adam You don't?

1:08:31 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Well, my best friend, I tell her everything she knows and she's like the best.

1:08:35 Adam Yeah, but haven't you, I mean, since you were born with this, haven't they kept after you in terms of, from a psychiatric standpoint, support standpoint?

1:08:49 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce We didn't even know he was seven.

1:08:51 Adam Oh, really?

1:08:52 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:08:53 Adam So your mom didn't know she had it when she gave birth to you?

1:08:57 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No, I have two older brothers too and they don't have it.

1:09:01 Adam Oh, but she had it when she gave birth to them? And it just didn't get it?

1:09:06 Dr. Bruce About, right.

1:09:07 Adam What's...

1:09:07 Dr. Bruce Transmitted what, a third to 40%?

1:09:10 Adam Oh, really? All right, so you found out, now how did you find out? Because she found out?

1:09:15 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah, like my bone marrow, I had like a very low marrow and I had a lot of bruises.

1:09:24 Dr. Bruce Right, I play with drops and...

1:09:26 Adam How's your health been?

1:09:28 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Good. Oh, really? Yeah, I've been in the hospital. I used to be in the hospital like every year and it was like pneumonia and bronchitis. But then I got this thing called IVIG. It's like white blood cells basically and I get it. It's like an eight hour infusion. I just like sit at home and hang out with my nurse.

1:09:47 Adam And they put that into the unit works.

1:09:49 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:09:50 Adam And what if they'd known at birth that she had this? It really wouldn't make much difference. Well, that's good.

1:09:59 Dr. Bruce You know, when you're 15, it's tough being an adolescent and having people.

1:10:04 Adam That's like tough getting a zit for Christ's sake.

1:10:10 Dr. Bruce If you're to talk to your boyfriend about it, I'd have a lot of support. And sometimes, what I was trying to say, when you're a teenager, people, other teenagers judge you for reasons that aren't substantial. And it's just a tough time. So you have a lot of anxiety. It sounds like going into deciding when to tell them and how to tell them. But it's something you really got to do because obviously the sex in a relationship is something that you don't deserve to be playing in.

1:10:40 Adam What about, do you go to school?

1:10:41 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah, of course.

1:10:43 Adam Well, a lot of idiots call the show do homeschooling.

1:10:47 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah, but I'm...

1:10:48 Adam You don't do that. You go to school. And do people at school know?

1:10:52 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No, nobody knows except for my family and like...

1:10:55 Dr. Bruce Your best friend.

1:10:56 Adam And what about, I don't know, counselors?

1:10:59 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No, not the school. It doesn't even know, like...

1:11:02 Adam They don't?

1:11:02 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:11:03 Adam Shouldn't they know that? I mean, I'm just saying, what if there's an accident or something where you get injured or hurt or something? Shouldn't they be aware of that? No?

1:11:13 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No.

1:11:14 Caller All right. You have a nurse that you said that helps you or somebody that helps you or doctors?

1:11:20 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:11:20 Caller What if, like, because that person probably knows a lot of the things that go with this. And so maybe if you do decide to tell him, maybe if she's there to kind of like walk him through, you know, because there's so much misinformation out there about what it is and...

1:11:37 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah. That's why I don't want to tell him, because I don't trust people.

1:11:39 Adam Well, what's your instinct about him? I mean, you've been with a guy for a year. You wouldn't be with a guy if he was a bad guy.

1:11:47 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Well, I don't know.

1:11:48 Dr. Bruce Do you feel like he wants to have sex at this point and that's what you're concerned about?

1:11:51 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce I don't know how to be like, no.

1:11:54 Adam Well, what about your mom? Does she know about this guy?

1:11:58 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:11:59 Adam And what does she think?

1:12:00 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Well, I haven't told her that, because I don't want her like, I don't know.

1:12:03 Adam But she knows you have AIDS and she knows you have a boyfriend. She's never inquired as to, you know, what's going on?

1:12:12 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Well, I would never put like anybody in a situation where like they could get harmed or anything.

1:12:17 Adam No, I'm saying, hold on a second. If I got a 15-year-old with AIDS and, you know, this is my boyfriend Rob for a year, there's a certain point which is right about the first date where I'm pulling him aside and I'm going, hey, what's going on? I mean, you guys...

1:12:33 Dr. Bruce Depending on how much denial there is in the family about what's going on with her.

1:12:36 Adam Well, I mean, isn't there even a certain amount of liability as a parent? You know, I mean, couldn't...

1:12:42 Caller She seems to have her head on pretty...

1:12:44 Dr. Bruce She does.

1:12:44 Caller She does, yeah. I mean, I'm not going to complain about anything anymore. I mean, she's like, jeez.

1:12:51 Adam Well, actually, that's untrue. I'll be complaining in five minutes. I'm out of creamer in the coffee over there. God damn it. The hell that is my life. No creamer. Hey, Kaylee? All right, here's the only answer to this. Because this is a complicated question with no simple answer. You are going to have to just be straight up and tell him. I agree that you should talk to maybe your nurse friend and discuss with somebody with an adult that has some experience about the best way to do this. But you need to just tell him.

1:13:22 Caller But at that same time, she's making the decision to tell everyone at her school and everyone around her. Well, she's making that decision at that time.

1:13:30 Dr. Bruce Because that could happen.

1:13:32 Adam That is a possibility. But here's to Catch 22, and this is why it will work out. I know it's not going to sound like a great consolation. But if he freaks out on you, then you didn't want to be with him anyway, because you don't want to be with a guy who's going to freak on you.

1:13:48 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah, but like the thing is, if I tell him, he might have a little urge to tell other people.

1:13:54 Adam Well, do you not trust him?

1:13:56 Caller But he's 15, though, so it's kind of hard to assume that he's going to be really cool about it.

1:14:02 Adam Mature about the whole thing?

1:14:03 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah, and people are so uneducated about things. They think they know they're ignorant.

1:14:08 Adam Right. Well, I don't know. I mean, here's the other thing, too. Obviously, you have a disease, and this is going to not make you a you will be unable to carry on like a lot of people at 15. I mean, maybe you have to be without a boyfriend through high school and find a relationship, you know, when people are more mature and you're more mature and everyone's, you know, able to cope. I mean, I know that doesn't sound like a great plan either. But I do agree that if you do tell this guy at 15, I mean, I couldn't keep anything to myself.

1:14:44 Dr. Bruce You know, the other thing is I can't emphasize enough how important it would be if you were in a group with other teenagers with a similar problem to what you have because you're going to run into so many more things like this. And listen, for most teenagers, I deal with a bad case of acne is more than they can handle. So you certainly have a heavy load to carry with you. So like the Children's Hospital down there, if you find a place that has adolescent medicine, these are doctors that deal with teenagers all the time, there are support groups. And I can't imagine that if you found somebody your age that's HIV positive, that it wouldn't be the greatest thing in the universe. Right.

1:15:21 Caller Because that person may have already gone through the same issue and then, you know, you aren't definitely.

1:15:26 Dr. Bruce You know, why be the first one to walk down that road and do it alone?

1:15:29 Adam Yeah. So what are we saying? Don't tell the guy?

1:15:33 Caller Well, I think it's coming. It seems like something's going to happen. I mean, there's no way around it. She needs, she feels like she has to, she should tell him and it's going to come out.

1:15:41 Caller The guy's 15 if she wants to mysteriously lose interest.

1:15:45 Dr. Bruce Yeah. If she's going to socialize and get involved in relationships, she has to realize she's going to let the information out. I think she needs to prepare herself and have a support there before she.

1:15:56 Adam Okay. I got the breakdown of Lidsville. So can we prioritize here for a moment?

1:16:01 Dr. Bruce Yes.

1:16:02 Caller Good luck, Kaylee.

1:16:03 Adam Let's not forget what the show is here for.

1:16:05 Caller Oh.

1:16:06 Dr. Bruce Free platform for your secure.

1:16:09 Adam Good luck, Kaylee.

1:16:11 Dr. Bruce Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:16:13 Adam The breakdown for Lidsville that I was talking about earlier is Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Intrigued by a magician's performance while at an amusement park, Mark the main character decides to lag behind the rest after the show. He goes backstage alone in the magician's room and he picks up the magician's hat to inspect it and then the thing grows to a giant size. Then he looks inside and it starts shaking and he falls in. Falling and falling into the head he fell. Spinning and twirling, whirling and twirling. Down, down, yeah. And when he couldn't believe his ears or eyes, Lidsville is the coo-coo-coo-kiest. Yeah, everyone join in. Blah, blah, blah. All right. They still know Lidsville? Yes. Now you know Lidsville.

1:17:01 Caller Yeah, that's the show I saw. I thought there was HR.

1:17:03 Caller Dude, you are so gay.

1:17:05 Caller Really?

1:17:06 Adam You guys don't know Lidsville? I'll tell you. I, all right.

1:17:10 Dr. Bruce Sounds like a Man Show skit to me.

1:17:12 Adam No.

1:17:13 Caller I think that sounds like something I've buried deep down inside. When you started singing that, I was like, oh no.

1:17:20 Dr. Bruce Oh no.

1:17:20 Caller No, that's good.

1:17:22 Adam Let me explain my life here on Loveline very quickly. TV and radio. I bring up stuff. Nobody knows what the F I'm talking about. Then it turns out to be mainstream stuff that people should know about.

1:17:34 Dr. Bruce Of course.

1:17:34 Adam Drew is the king. Drew is the king. The king. The king of that.

1:17:38 Dr. Bruce You can just look at you and say.

1:17:40 Adam You're though, you're carrying the torch pretty nicely, I must say.

1:17:43 Dr. Bruce He's told me.

1:17:44 Adam All right. We got to take ourselves a break. Crystal Method is our guest tonight. We will be back after this.

1:17:50 Caller You are my Facebook.

1:17:57 Caller All right.

1:17:59 Adam A very serious discussion about Lidsville here during the... Scott had some pretty poignant questions about it. Ones that needed to be answered. Ken had a few of himself. Crystal Method is the band. It's weekend. It's the name of the CD. I think we should hear a second song off that. Wait a minute. Yeah. Right. Where did it go? Was it on the screen? What happened to it, Anderson? We're running late here. We're talking too much about Aids and Lidsville tonight.

1:18:30 Caller So I think we already played it.

1:18:32 Adam Oh, no.

1:18:33 Caller He's a big fan.

1:18:35 Caller I already listened to it, so I thought never mind.

1:18:37 Adam Number two. Now we're going to hear number two.

1:18:40 Caller Wait.

1:18:40 Adam Now I'm freaking out. We didn't already hear it, did we?

1:18:43 Dr. Bruce Not this one.

1:18:44 Adam No, we heard one.

1:18:45 Caller They may have played it while we went on about Lidsville.

1:18:48 Adam Yeah. All right. This one is from Crystal Method. It's called Wild, Sweet and Cool.

1:22:51 Caller Hey, they like it.

1:22:51 Adam More great stuff from Crystal Method. Tweekend is the name of the CD. Out the 31st, and the band will be out a few days before the CD is out and they're coming to a town near you.

1:23:02 Caller Everywhere.

1:23:02 Adam And they're great guys who go out and see them. You'll not be disappointed. Let's see if we can work in a few more calls. Lucetta?

1:23:11 Caller Yeah?

1:23:12 Adam You're 14?

1:23:13 Caller Yeah.

1:23:13 Adam You want to know if you should tell your mom that you might be pregnant?

1:23:16 Caller Yeah.

1:23:18 Adam Do you have a boyfriend?

1:23:19 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Uh-huh. I've been seeing him for like almost a year.

1:23:22 Adam How old is he?

1:23:23 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce He's 16.

1:23:24 Adam All right. And how old's your mom?

1:23:28 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce She's 35.

1:23:29 Adam Do you have any older brothers or sisters?

1:23:32 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No.

1:23:32 Adam So she had you when she was like 21 or something like that?

1:23:36 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah, like 19, 19, 20.

1:23:39 Adam OK. All right. So, yeah, you should wait a few. You haven't been using any birth control? Why not, baby?

1:23:46 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce I don't know. Like they say you need your mom to be there, right?

1:23:50 Dr. Bruce No.

1:23:50 Adam No. Listen, everybody, if you're going to have sex, I know it sounds real cliche, but if you're going to be old enough to have regular sex, you really got to be mature enough to get on some birth control, baby. You're 14. What are you, in the ninth grade? Yeah.

1:24:05 Dr. Bruce How old is your boyfriend?

1:24:06 Caller He's 16.

1:24:08 Dr. Bruce Not a good choice at this point, but you should definitely go to the family planning clinic.

1:24:13 Adam And does she need to talk to mom about it?

1:24:16 Dr. Bruce You know, no. To see a physician or to get health care, if it's for substance abuse, pregnancy, contraceptives, no.

1:24:25 Adam Okay. So how about going over to family planning, planned parenthood?

1:24:31 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Oh, I went there once.

1:24:34 Adam Okay. Well, that's good enough.

1:24:35 Caller Do you want to get pregnant?

1:24:36 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Not really.

1:24:37 Caller Okay. Well, then you can't just hope that you will not get pregnant. And like, you have to do something about it.

1:24:44 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Well, yeah, but like, I don't know how to tell my mom, though.

1:24:46 Adam Well, listen, you don't have to tell your mom. Just go over to planned parenthood and talk to them and do it tomorrow.

1:24:52 Caller Is he wearing condoms?

1:24:53 Caller Yeah.

1:24:54 Adam Well, what happened?

1:24:55 Caller Well, I don't know.

1:24:56 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce I haven't gone to my peer for the last two months, though.

1:24:58 Adam Okay, listen, listen to me, baby. You need to do that. You understand?

1:25:04 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:25:05 Adam You're going to go to planned parenthood tomorrow?

1:25:07 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:25:07 Adam Just go down there. There's one around. You're in Burbank. There's one nearby. And just go ask them what you should do. That's all. They'll help you out. Take your boyfriend with you.

1:25:19 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce All right?

1:25:21 Adam All right, listen, this is why 14-year-olds shouldn't be getting laid because they can get pregnant just as easily as a 25-year-old, but their brain is still of a 14-year-old. And listen, I would be... Look, if I got pregnant at 14, I would have eaten the child at first or tried to trade it for like some playing cards or just like had a fungo bat and free-handed it into the outfield or a Lidsville video. No, I mean, I wouldn't have done any better. I was an idiot. I didn't know it that, you know, that would have been my approach. Like, hey, I haven't had my period. I have no such thing as prenatal care or anything. There's no... You know what I mean? You're 14.

1:26:01 Caller 14. I don't...

1:26:04 Adam I thought I was going to be a pirate astronaut. I didn't even work it out. I just... That's what I thought I was going to do at 14 for a living. Still think I might be able to do at least a pirate thing at least.

1:26:16 Dr. Bruce Well, where's mom and dad? At 14, she's having sexual...

1:26:19 Adam Okay, mom and dad are all over the place. She's got to take care of herself. Okay, let's talk to Lindsey. Lindsey?

1:26:28 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah?

1:26:29 Adam You urinate instead of orgasm?

1:26:32 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah. Unacceptable.

1:26:33 Adam Do you have an orgasm and urine comes out?

1:26:36 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Well, see, that's what I'm thinking because I've had an orgasm with myself.

1:26:40 Adam Right.

1:26:41 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce But when it's, and I think I've done it once or twice with myself, but when I'm with someone else, I urinate instead because it hurts from my clit to be touched.

1:26:51 Adam With someone else to do it?

1:26:53 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:26:53 Adam All right. During oral sex?

1:26:57 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce No, it doesn't hurt during oral sex, only with hands.

1:27:01 Adam All right. Well, look, you got a boyfriend?

1:27:03 The Crystal Method with Dr. Bruce Yes.

1:27:04 Adam You guide him. Listen, ladies, do not be scared. Guys will not be offended if you go, look, here's what you do. Just like, you know, your dad teaching how to drive the car. They're so excited you get to drive, you'll put up with your dad telling you what to do for a half hour, right? This is the same thing. They're so excited to have sex, you could just stand over and yell at them what to do. Get a schematic and bounce it off the ceiling. They'll do it like an overhead projector. We'll take a break.

1:27:31 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Loveline will be right back. All right.

1:27:42 Adam Oh, go ahead, Scott. Give your plug before we pack it up here.

1:27:48 Caller Okay. There's a limited edition copy of Tweekend LBOT that contains a Tweekend pass that allows consumers the chance to meet and meet and greet opportunities, exclusive download contests and more. Basically, you buy the CD within, one of the first ones to buy it. You go home, you go online, you go to the crystalmethod.com, you sign up. You see it listed dates. You say, hey, they're playing Idaho. You can sign up to come meet us. Those two guys are going to be hanging out with us once they buy the CD on the 31st, right? That's right. And we want to meet them.

1:28:24 Adam Oh, you do?

1:28:24 Caller Yeah, we want to meet them.

1:28:25 Adam All right.

1:28:26 Dr. Bruce Just like Adam wants to meet his fans.

1:28:28 Caller You're going to come with us, right?

1:28:29 Adam Right. I'll be in Idaho. I may do some spinning or sampling or stanching or belching or whatever goes on up there. I'm going to be doing it. All right.

1:28:42 Caller See, he's got that. He's got that ready to go, but we can't get the...

1:28:46 Adam All right. Let's just give up on the show like I've done. Crystal Method, everybody. Tweekend is the name of the CD. Go out and get it. Dr. Bruce, a wonderful job. Thank you. As per usual and...

1:28:59 Dr. Bruce I had anal sex and I passed out a couple of times.

1:29:01 Adam Until tomorrow night. This is Adam Corolla for Dr. Bruce. Saying mahalo. Some goes, some blows.

1:29:08 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, July 22, 2001