Episode 1000754886864

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:10 Voiceover Loveline, coast to coast.

1:13 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. What's happening over there, Drew?

1:28 Drew You're finally worrying about the anthrax a little bit, I noticed.

1:30 Lead, hold on.

1:31 Drew Oh, no.

1:32 Adam I just let my own form.

1:35 Drew Of anthrax.

1:36 Adam Yes, I just let the little chemical warfare go in the studio. Moving through a little shot of that with a wave of the notepad. Yeah, I'm not really worried about it, but I am curious about it.

1:52 Drew You hadn't been, but suddenly you're full of questions about it. Poor Lauren, who works here, phone screener, or assistant Lauren, will not open the mail for Loveline. She'll become famous in Los Angeles.

2:03 Adam Yeah. Well, that's fine. Look, here's why this stuff doesn't affect me. It's you want to pollute the mail. It's like when people send around those computer viruses. That has nothing to do with me. I don't turn the computer on and I open no mail.

2:18 Drew How many times?

2:19 Adam I don't open mail at my house. I don't get mail at my house.

2:23 Drew You just wouldn't know it.

2:24 Adam I wouldn't know it. You want to hear embarrassing. I ran into my postman a couple of weeks ago and she said, listen, if you're going to be out of town for a month or so, so leave a note and I'll keep the mail. And I said, I haven't been anywhere. And then I realized, oh, Christ, I hadn't checked the mail in three weeks. It was just piling up in the mailbox. It's nice, Drew. You ought to try it. It's like living without living.

2:56 Drew Like being dead.

2:57 Adam It's like being dead but being alive. You're still getting a paycheck.

2:59 Drew Nice.

3:00 Adam It's not a bad angle on life. Lock yourself up.

3:03 No.

3:03 Adam Okay. Who's paging you? Who is that?

3:05 Drew Who?

3:06 The hospital.

3:07 Unacceptable.

3:08 Adam Is it the hospital?

3:09 Yeah.

3:09 Adam It's not your wife or anybody you should know better?

3:12 No.

3:13 Adam All right.

3:14 Drew But why would they call it every night at 10, you know, two minutes after the show begins? Every night.

3:18 Adam Do the folks at the hospital, and I would say more than most people, know that you do a radio show that starts at 10 o'clock at night? So the page that comes at 10,01 and a half would just seem like horrible timing.

3:32 Drew Yeah.

3:32 Adam It would seem like 9.57 would be good.

3:36 Drew Much better. It's infinitely better.

3:39 Adam And maybe just listening and doing it around the commercial by 10.20, 10.25 would be all right.

3:44 Drew Even 10.15, I can just gear up for it on 10.20.

3:46 Adam But doing it the second the mic heats up. Now, Drew, can you do me a favor and yell at the person who did this? Please, it works. It's great because the next time they pick up the phone at 12.01.

3:59 Drew To think about it.

3:59 Adam Sorry, 10.01? Yeah, they go up, they put it back down because they hear you yelling at them beforehand. Thank you, Drew. Kate?

4:08 Yeah?

4:08 Adam You're 19?

4:09 Caller Yeah.

4:10 Adam What's up?

4:11 Caller Okay. Well, I've been dating my boyfriend for like five months. And we started having sex like two weeks after we went out or whatever. It was the first time for both of us. And it was good. But then in July...

4:26 Drew Would you like that kind of a testimonial, Adam?

4:29 Caller It was good.

4:30 Drew It was all right.

4:31 Adam Want to give his penis a four?

4:33 Caller Yeah. See, I have nothing to compare it to, though. So, I don't know. It was all right.

4:38 Adam This guy just put a luger in his mouth. And he's about to pull the trigger. Go ahead.

4:48 Caller Okay. So in July, I started to take prescription sleeping pills. Why? Well, I have taken over-the-counter sleeping pills for like three years, and they just weren't working.

5:02 Adam Oh, I see.

5:03 Caller I finally got prescribed one, and I didn't tell him about it. And then one night, I took one that I wasn't planning on having sex, and we ended up, and it was just way better. Like, cause I don't, the sleeping pills like relaxed me and I don't know. It's just, I like having sex way better when I take them.

5:24 Adam How long after you took the pill did he start having sex with you?

5:27 Um.

5:29 Drew Amy is really fast acting.

5:32 Adam Right.

5:32 Caller Yeah. Yeah. So it was probably within like a half an hour, 45 minutes he came over and I was like already tired but then he woke me up and when you, I don't know, when you try to stay awake on it, you act drunk, I guess. I don't know.

5:50 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I've taken many of those in my day. It makes you feel a little euphoric, a little tired and a little out of it. Yeah.

5:58 Drew Well, Kate, what is going on? You are so anxious that you can't enjoy being physically intimate with your boyfriend and you need to take an anti-anxiety pill in order to be able to feel okay. And why don't you talk to your doctor about seeing someone who actually can give you the right medication. These are profoundly addictive even though they supposedly are not. I guarantee they are.

6:15 Adam Well, look.

6:16 Drew And they're not appropriate for a regular treatment of a sleep problem.

6:18 Adam Let me tell you what's addictive. If you have a problem and you find something that works and you take it consistently and it works for you, it becomes addictive.

6:28 Drew Here's one of the reasons it's addictive though. You try to stop it. Your original problem, ten times worse.

6:32 Adam No, not me. That doesn't happen to me.

6:35 Drew Well, that's what happened to Kate.

6:36 Adam Okay. Why doesn't it happen to me?

6:38 Drew Because if you took them for two weeks, it would.

6:40 Adam Oh, no, I did. I have. I've taken Ambien. I've taken Ambien, you know, fifteen out of seventeen nights before. I pop one every night when I get home, go to bed. And then I run out of them and I just go to bed.

6:54 Drew But you have such profound sleep disorder anyway. How much worse can it get?

6:57 All right.

6:59 Adam I don't know. I'll talk to you about it off the air, Drew.

7:01 Drew Yeah, you surely will.

7:02 Adam And you know the prescription, by the way.

7:05 Yeah?

7:05 Adam Yeah, you got to look into this because there's two things. Chicks sleep more than guys do because they're lazier. That's number one. I've never met a woman that didn't fall asleep halfway into a pay-per-view movie, as long as it started after the streetlights came on. And number two, you're nineteen. You know, you messing, and Drew, this is a thing that if, but there's a difference between the sexes and there's a difference in age. If you're a nineteen-year-old female who's on a prescription sleep medication.

7:35 Drew That's a problem.

7:37 Adam Things ain't going to be looking good when you're thirty-five or forty.

7:39 Drew That's right. And she needs it in order to enjoy sex. I mean, there's something significant going on here. She needs a psychiatrist to evaluate that.

7:46 Adam Okay. Let's talk to Kim, who's thirty-two. Kim?

7:50 Caller Hello.

7:51 Adam Hey.

7:51 Caller Hey.

7:52 Adam Hmm. Drew, I'll pop one of those ambience.

7:55 Drew I don't want to hear this anymore.

7:56 Adam 12.39. I'll have a glass of red wine and I'll watch TV till 2 a.m. And then get up and go about my business. I will not fall asleep on the sofa. Will not go up and go to bed. Have no problem. Talk on the phone for an hour to somebody.

8:11 Drew I'm getting tired thinking about that.

8:12 Adam Really? You couldn't do that?

8:14 Oh.

8:15 Adam Zero problem.

8:16 Drew Take an ambient. If I so much as sit down, I'll fall asleep. I don't care where I am.

8:21 Adam I will watch an hour and a half of TV with the light off and then get up and go to bed and have no problem with it. Sorry, Kim. Go ahead. I don't remember what I was watching the next day.

8:31 Caller Go ahead, Kim. It would not have been too important if you fell asleep.

8:35 Adam Thanks, Kim. What's up?

8:36 Caller Oh, OK. My son is 14 and he listens to your show every night. And I just got home and he asked me to call you, right? Call you and get your opinion on something.

8:51 Adam All right.

8:52 Caller OK. I'm a single parent and I live in a two-bedroom apartment. So he has his room and my two girls have their room. I have three kids.

9:02 Adam Right, right. Three kids.

9:04 Caller My right bedroom is the living room.

9:07 Adam Your bedroom is the living room?

9:09 Caller I mean, there's the living room, but I sleep out here.

9:13 Adam Right.

9:14 Caller You know?

9:14 Adam Right.

9:15 Caller Because that's all I could afford on my... Right. I could pay this by myself and don't have to worry about nothing.

9:20 Adam I appreciate that. But what was a hell of a plan having the three kids, wasn't it? You're thirty-two and sleeping on a foldout sofa in the living room.

9:28 Drew How old are the kids? Hello?

9:31 Caller Hello.

9:31 Drew How old are the girls?

9:34 Caller My daughters? They are twelve and nine.

9:37 Adam All right. So?

9:39 Caller And my son is fourteen.

9:41 Adam We know that.

9:41 Caller Yeah, okay. Anyway, I just recently got divorced. So I've been single maybe a year. But he wanted me to call and get your opinion on whether or not it would be damaging to him or to to what? Because I have like a curtain up between the hallway.

10:03 Adam Right.

10:04 Caller And for kind of privacy purposes, if I'm changing or, you know.

10:12 Adam Hold on, Drew, I'm going to go go. I'm going to go number two.

10:15 Caller Go ahead. I really don't.

10:18 I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really just a really.

10:21 Adam Hermit, Hermit, Hermit Ozzie, you're a hermit.

10:24 Drew Yeah, go.

10:25 Adam He only leaves the house to stutter. All right, Kim, ask your question. Ready? Go.

10:30 Caller Okay. I want to know if it's damaging for my son to walk in on me having sex.

10:37 Drew That's not a good thing.

10:38 Adam That's bad.

10:38 Drew That is a bad thing.

10:39 Adam And by the way, you want to know, talking to Kim, you want to know what it's like doing a show with Dr. Burrows? Two hours of this.

10:44 Drew No.

10:45 Adam Easily. Sometimes two and a half.

10:48 I've had anal sex and I've passed out a couple of times.

10:50 Adam Bruce, please.

10:51 Caller Wow.

10:52 Adam Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

10:53 Okay.

10:54 Adam Of course, it's damaging.

10:56 Caller Well, yeah, I know. That's why I have the curtain up.

10:58 Drew I think you need more than a curtain, Kim.

11:00 Caller I know. And I told him I want to put a door, because anytime he's in his room and his door shut, I respect his privacy and I knock on the door first.

11:08 Drew I still think that's a good plan to have structure and boundaries and privacy in your home. But I don't think it's a great idea to be having an intercourse with your friends, with the nine-year-old just across the door.

11:22 Adam You got a couple of strings of beads in between you and your kids.

11:27 Drew You need to get a babysitter in there and you go to the guy's house.

11:32 Adam Hey, Kim, what are you doing? What's up with you?

11:36 Caller I'm just trying to listen to what you're saying.

11:38 Adam Okay. Well, you got divorced, right?

11:40 Caller Right.

11:40 Adam Are you seeing somebody new?

11:42 Caller Am I?

11:43 Drew No. Okay, Kim.

11:44 Adam No, sorry. Hang on, Kim. What? Now, do people... Is this what it's like to have tinnitus, by the way? I mean, do you just... Do some people seem like they're going through life where they're wearing headphones and somebody's in the back in a small room that's hooked up their headphones going, mugga, mugga, mugga, mugga, mugga, mugga, mugga, mugga, mugga, mugga, mugga, mugga.

12:06 Maga, maga, maga, maga, maga, maga, maga.

12:09 Adam And then you're here, you talk, and here's what it sounds like then. Go ahead.

12:12 Caller Well, I think you ought to put a...

12:13 Maga, maga, maga. You ought to put a...

12:15 Drew You definitely not have sex in your apartment with the girls just because, but...

12:18 Adam Maga, maga, maga, maga, maga, maga, maga...

12:19 .Balsa would do it.

12:20 Adam And then once in a while, they put the key on a word, balsa wood.

12:24 Maga, maga, maga, maga, maga, maga, maga, maga, maga.

12:26 Drew I'm talking about, yes, but you ought to go out with your boyfriend and have sex in his house.

12:30 Adam Boyfriend?

12:30 You talking about me Who, me?

12:34 Adam That's always great, too. Here's the one I love. I love when the person brings up the stuff and you repeat it. Like where they go, where you go, yeah, I have a boy and two daughters. And you go, hold her, the girls. Girls? It's like, weren't you the one who brought them up? How am I bringing that up? All right, should we get back? Poor Kim.

12:56 Drew What does Kim do for a living?

12:57 Adam No, yeah, I don't want to know.

12:58 Come on.

13:00 Adam Kim, are you listening, baby?

13:03 Caller Yeah, no, I'm listening. Yes.

13:04 Adam OK, with with your one good ear, right?

13:07 Caller I have two good ears.

13:08 Adam OK, but I just want you to use one. Don't put the phone in the middle.

13:12 Caller No, I would not do that.

13:13 Adam Are you seeing anybody?

13:15 Caller No, no.

13:16 Adam So this is not an issue yet. Right.

13:22 Drew Try to question Adam.

13:23 Adam This this is not yet come up because you're not.

13:26 Caller It has come up because I did have a boyfriend, but we have split up.

13:29 Drew OK, OK.

13:30 Adam So the next time it comes up, you must go to your boyfriend's home or and leave my children here alone with a babysitter for a couple hours.

13:39 Caller No, no, I can't afford for a babysitter to come over.

13:43 Drew Let's give a sibling or anybody you trust.

13:47 Caller No, she is living downstairs with my husband, my ex-husband.

13:52 Drew Your sister is living with your ex-husband?

13:54 Adam Downstairs?

13:55 Caller Downstairs for me, yes.

13:57 Drew That sounds bad.

13:57 Adam Is that a youth?

13:59 Caller I live in the Jerry Springer Show.

14:01 Adam Yeah, you do.

14:02 Drew Is there a problem, by the way, having the father sit with the kids for a little while?

14:08 Caller I don't know, except for my sister would get jealous.

14:12 Adam Hey, Kim? Yes? Listen, I feel real bad for you.

14:16 Caller You feel bad?

14:16 Adam I really do, because of your Jerry Springer lifestyle. But I'm really angry at you for having three kids and being so selfish. Did you bring three kids into your Jerry Springer life?

14:27 Caller No.

14:28 Adam You understand that?

14:29 Caller I had a normal, everyday life. And then my husband and I get a divorce because he's sleeping around.

14:43 Drew Yeah, you didn't have a... You thought you had a normal everyday life. You didn't.

14:46 Adam Kim, okay, here's the deal, Kim. You invest every ounce of energy you have into making sure these three... Yes, and that... And I want you to do a great job with them and you cannot have sex in the house.

15:02 Drew In your house, can't do it.

15:03 Adam And here's the deal, everybody. If you're a 32-year-old adult and you have three kids and you're sleeping on a futon in the living room and you start dating a guy and you can't figure out a way to have sex in a place other than your living room with the three kids at home...

15:18 Caller Stop dating them.

15:20 Adam And there's no way you can cover that, then you can't have sex.

15:23 Drew That's right.

15:23 Adam That's it. You're not ready. It's like saying, I can't bang my girlfriend because my moped won't make it to our house and I can't afford condoms. It's like, then you know what?

15:33 Drew Then don't do it.

15:34 Adam You can't do it. That's how life is. You can't afford gas or insurance or registration. Guess what? You just don't get to drive until you can do that. Poor Kim. What about her kids? Adam?

15:51 Hello?

15:51 Adam You're 19?

15:52 Caller Yeah.

15:53 Adam What's up?

15:54 Caller I was just curious.

15:56 Caller Is it all right for a gay guy to have sex with a woman?

15:59 Adam Well, if he wants, I think his penis is going to get angry.

16:03 Drew You mean does it violate some law of nature?

16:05 Caller Well, I don't know. Is it just like unnatural or?

16:08 Adam No.

16:09 Drew No, nothing unnatural. I mean, you are definitely going to hurt the feelings of the female.

16:13 Adam Well, what's in it for you?

16:14 Drew She will harbor a fantasy that she's going to somehow change you.

16:17 Caller That's what I'm thinking.

16:18 Caller You think that's the only reason she would want to?

16:21 Drew Well, as opposed to what else would her reason be?

16:24 Caller Well, I think he likes me, but...

16:26 Drew That's the point. She wants to have a relationship with you. She won't accept the fact that you're gay. Right?

16:33 Adam What's in it for you?

16:36 Caller That's the thing. I don't know.

16:38 Adam Well, then... Let's go ahead and flip this question around. Would it be all right for me to bang a gay guy in the A being a straight man? Yes, I guess it would be okay. But then question B, why?

16:54 Drew Why and what would... Wouldn't it mislead the guy?

16:56 Adam Wouldn't it mislead the guy and why... Wouldn't I be repulsed by that action? Why is a gay man would you do this?

17:06 I guess it would...

17:06 Wouldn't it...

17:08 I would think it would mislead him.

17:10 Drew Now, why would you do it? What would be in it for you?

17:12 Adam What's in it for you?

17:14 With the girl.

17:15 Adam Okay. All right, Adam. Enjoy yourself.

17:19 Caller With the girl.

17:21 Adam You know what I love about the profound stupidity of all our callers? And by the way, you know, all radio shows are... They basically tell their hosts to call their callers the smartest people in the world, you know, because there are callers. You know what I mean? There's a lot of patronizing going on. I would love to do that if you guys were even close to...

17:43 Drew Coherent.

17:44 Adam Now, if you were... If you were just a couple grades below average, I would love to play along with that ruse, but you're so retarded that the idea of me pretending that you're not seems disingenuous. You know what I mean?

17:59 Drew What does it say about you that you attract that type?

18:01 Adam I think it's you. How dare you? We're asking the question, if you're gay and you're asking to have sex with a female, well, the very simple question is what's in it for you?

18:16 Drew Why do you want to do that?

18:17 Adam You like guys. Why would you want to have sex with a woman?

18:20 Drew With a girl?

18:21 Adam That question, we could find no answer to that question. Yeah, there's a certain that, you know what, they're stupid and then they're stupid, Drew. I'm stupid. I was always stupid. I was a bad student. I made bad decisions. I was considered dumb my entire life. But this, this is dog dumb. This is like when you're talking to a pet and it doesn't know what you're talking about. Jen?

18:46 Caller Yeah.

18:46 Adam You're 26.

18:49 Caller Yeah. I had a question for Dr. Drew. My husband doesn't like to have sex very often. I'd say we've probably done it about 10 times in the last three and a half years. He's 31 and I just wondered if this was normal.

19:08 Drew No, that is not normal.

19:10 Caller We've been through some really rough times.

19:12 Caller About what?

19:13 Caller Well, we lost one of our twins. And our survivor has severe cerebral palsy. So we've been through some rough times. And sometimes I feel like if he's not getting it for me, he must be getting it somewhere else.

19:31 Adam What happened with the twin? It ran over by a train?

19:35 Caller I'm sorry?

19:37 Adam What happened? The train that goes through the living room clipped him or something? What is going on with that train, Jen?

19:43 Caller No, there's no train.

19:45 Drew There's a train. We can hear it in the background.

19:48 Caller Oh, I think I might have just passed one.

19:51 Drew I see. All right.

19:54 Adam You're not making that connection with you driving next to the other.

19:57 Drew Are you driving a truck?

19:58 Caller No, no.

20:02 Adam Hold on a second. Is it Hee Haw Night? I mean, what is going on?

20:10 Drew I think they're playing with us at the screen again.

20:12 Adam Listen, I know I make a lot of fun of the Mexicans on the show.

20:14 Caller I'm sorry.

20:16 Adam You guys are twice as smart as the white people. I mean, it is the Country Bear Jamboree going on. Now, hold on a second. Hey, Chad.

20:31 Caller I am not white trash.

20:33 Adam Oh, yes, you are. Are you driving a car?

20:37 Caller Yes, I am. I just got off work. I picked my son up.

20:40 Adam Might you have been driving next to a train, perhaps?

20:43 Caller I wasn't driving next to a train. I did pass one. I'm sorry. I didn't know that you guys could hear it. Okay.

20:50 Adam But just keep in mind, when we bring the train up, that may have been the same train you saw.

20:55 Caller You've got to change that name to Jasper.

20:58 Adam That's all I'm saying.

21:00 Drew All right, Jen, listen.

21:01 Adam All right. Let's not make fun of it. Drew, don't make fun of Jen. Hey, Jen.

21:15 Yeah.

21:17 Adam What's going on? Your kid's crying?

21:19 Caller Yeah, my son.

21:20 Adam All right. All right, so what's your husband do for a living?

21:24 Caller We both work in a steel-slitting plant.

21:28 Adam Steel-fitting?

21:29 Caller Steel-slitting.

21:31 Drew Steel-slitting.

21:32 Caller We cut steel.

21:33 Drew Wow.

21:34 Adam Okay.

21:35 Drew All right, Jen, listen, he may be depressed. Is he drinking or doing drugs or anything?

21:39 Caller Well, he used to drink a lot.

21:42 Drew Yeah, and maybe he's doing some drugs and you don't know it and that's a cutting-edge.

21:45 Caller No, no, no, no, no.

21:46 Drew Hey, listen, strange things have happened. Just put that in your list of things to watch out for.

21:52 Caller Okay.

21:53 Drew You know, you're right, the relationship may have issues and he may be hanging in because, you know, you guys are trying to make a family and he may not be really happy right now and he may not feel real connected and romantic towards you, but he's hanging in and you need to help him develop those kinds of connected feelings.

22:07 Caller Okay.

22:08 Drew And work with him and get him to talk and get him to open up a little bit.

22:12 Caller Yeah, he's not a real big communicator.

22:14 Drew Yeah. I don't think I would make the assumption that he's having an affair. In fact, I don't particularly get that feeling at all.

22:21 Adam No, I don't think anyone else would have him. Now, here's the deal, Jen. When guys have affairs, they try not to do anything that's going to rouse suspicion. And the last thing they want when a guy's having a long-term affair is to have somebody calling a radio show and saying, I think my husband is having an affair because he's been unattentive at home.

22:42 Caller I did not say that. I've never thought...

22:44 Adam No, no, but that...

22:45 Drew You never thought he was having an affair?

22:46 Caller No, it's never crossed my mind.

22:48 Adam Okay, good.

22:49 Drew Wait a minute. You brought that up. It was the first your opening shot with us.

22:52 Caller Well, no, I mean...

22:54 Adam Well, it's never crossed her mind until four minutes ago.

22:58 Caller No, I mean, it's not like a solid thought, you know. I mean, yeah, I mean, everybody... You know, it's usually the first thing, but it's something that I do well on.

23:06 Adam It's never crossed your mind. All right. It's never crossed your mind except for you bringing it up on the radio.

23:10 Drew You're calling the radio to talk about it.

23:12 Adam Hey, Jen, let me ask you another question. What is the steel slitting? Why do they call it slitting?

23:18 Drew Splitting.

23:18 Adam Splitting?

23:19 We... slitting.

23:20 Oh, slitting. Why don't you shut up, Drew?

23:23 Adam Yeah, what is it? Why do they call it steel slitting?

23:26 Caller Because we actually cut the steel. We get...

23:28 Adam Hold on a second. Cut? Yeah, I know you're cutting the steel, but why isn't it called steel cutting?

23:35 Caller I don't know. That's just the name of the company term.

23:42 Adam What do you make out of steel?

23:45 Caller A lot of our customers are like gasket companies like Felpro, Federal Mogul. You know... Okay. I'm sure you're familiar with cars.

23:56 Adam Yeah. All right. So it's called steel slitting.

23:59 Caller Yes.

23:59 Adam Okay. All right, baby. Listen, talk to your husband and don't put the screws to him and don't put the pressure to him.

24:06 Caller No, no.

24:07 Adam And don't do it in the situ... Don't do it in the bedroom.

24:10 Caller Yeah.

24:11 Adam Do it when you're out to breakfast or sitting out somewhere and just talk to him and don't talk about sex. Just talk about closeness. You don't feel close to him.

24:20 We don't have that time, obviously.

24:21 Caller You can hear why. You know, we don't have a lot of intimate time together.

24:28 Drew You need to create that, Jen. Yes.

24:30 Adam It doesn't need to be sex time. Just time when you can enjoy yourself. Listen, as a guy, Drew's not this way because he's mostly chick.

24:39 Drew I thought I was a passionate man.

24:40 Adam But as a guy, Drew says men need to be dragged kicking and screaming to intimacy. And it's true. I never want to do anything with chicks, you know, but once they drag you out to wherever it is they're dragging you out to, they want to go to, you know, go on a drive and have a picnic on a Sunday or something, you think, oh, Christ, that sucks, oh, it sucks. And then you're kind of sitting out somewhere and you're going, hey, this is pretty good. I don't mind this. I'm kind of enjoying myself.

25:06 Drew I thought you were taking issue with my saying that about guys.

25:09 Adam No, no. Steel slitting. Didn't notice the train going by the car.

25:18 Drew Seahawt Night on Loveline.

25:19 Adam All right. And listen, again, kitties, let me tell you the through line here. Kids, do you hear me, kids? Don't have the kids. Did you hear the kids screaming in the background, the mama sleeping in the living room? Think about the situation of our last two calls, especially the call before Jen, minus the kids, how much cleaner and easier it is.

25:41 Drew You're talking about the one that was living in the living room.

25:44 Adam Yeah, you got your ex-old man living downstairs, which I think was a euphemism for hell, with your sister, and you got you and your three kids living upstairs, and you're sleeping in the living room, you can't date, you got no money for a sitter, you're scared to leave these kids alone with this old man and this vindictive bitch sister of yours. You know what I'm saying? It's the kids. Without the kids, man, you walk. You walk away. You know what a kid is? It's like a hostage. It's like you're breaking out of some horrible hostage terrorist camp, but you know what? You left your wife behind, or you left your nephew behind. You left something behind, and now instead of crawling under the fence and running for freedom, man, and catching the next flight to the US of A, nuh-uh. You got to try to get them out too, and then you both get shot. That's what happens. That's what that kid is. He's a hostage you left behind.

26:48 Drew Well, if you can't handle your own life, that's what it is.

26:51 Adam Right. No, no. It's always a hostage. I wasn't making an example. I was literally talking about being locked up in a terrorist training camp with your kids, Drew.

27:01 Drew Nice. Okay.

27:02 Adam We'll be back. That's right, all you mothers. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. Dr. Drew getting another little refill on some coffee. Called the hospital. Did he yell at the person who paid you at the 10-0-1? No. No. Why not, Drew?

27:28 Drew I really, I just wasn't even thinking about it. I was thinking about what she was calling him.

27:32 Adam First thing you do is you punish and then you inquire.

27:36 Drew Yeah, I know.

27:36 Adam You understand?

27:37 Drew Yeah.

27:38 Adam You're raising kids. You should know that.

27:40 Drew Punish first.

27:40 Adam Punish first, inquire second.

27:43 Drew I see.

27:45 Adam All right. Drew, seriously.

27:46 Drew Then cover your tracks.

27:47 Adam Let me call the person. I'll call the person. Is it the same person that calls each other?

27:53 Drew No, actually not.

27:54 Adam But how many people? It's not a hundred people.

27:56 Drew It's like four, yeah.

27:57 Adam It's four. They know what you do?

27:59 Drew This one never has. It's called...

28:01 Adam All right. Where do they think you are at night?

28:03 Drew At home. Do they? They just don't think about it.

28:06 Adam Okay.

28:07 Drew Well, why don't you... I have like...

28:08 Adam Get them to think about it.

28:09 Drew I have like dual and triple lives. People don't realize what I do. Yeah.

28:14 Adam Well, I'm not sure what you do, actually. What is it you do here? I see you drinking coffee and returning phone calls.

28:21 Drew That's it.

28:21 Adam Is there any other business?

28:22 Drew Well, yes, where I am. They don't think about me being here. That's all. I didn't say do anything here.

28:26 Yeah.

28:28 Adam Yes. You're 26.

28:30 Caller Yes.

28:30 Adam What's up?

28:32 Caller Well, my husband and I have been married for eight years. And about a year ago, we had a threesome with another female. And she basically performed virile sex on me. And ever since then, he hasn't done it as much as he used to. And I'm kind of curious if you can tell me why.

28:50 Drew It's been contaminated.

28:52 Adam Yeah.

28:52 Caller It's spoiled.

28:55 Adam Is there any other difference in the lovemaking?

28:59 Caller Uh, no.

29:00 Adam And nothing else in the relationship?

29:03 Caller Nope.

29:03 Drew My immediate instinct is the reason he's not doing it so much on hers is because he's splitting his time between her and the one he had the threesome with.

29:10 Caller Actually, no, I know that's not going on.

29:14 Adam No, no, I, you know, it's weird, but maybe he feels, um, less intimate. I mean, it's an intimate act.

29:23 Drew You may worry about this. You know, people's sexual sort of patterns and preferences have changed over time. Maybe this is just one of his little evolution lately. Yeah. Maybe he felt like, you know, time for a break on that, doing something different. Yeah. If you want him back more doing that, then ask him.

29:39 Adam What did he do with the chick?

29:42 Caller The only other possible thing he could.

29:46 Adam He had intercourse with her?

29:47 Caller Yeah.

29:48 Drew Who is she?

29:49 Adam And were you just watching while she did that?

29:51 Caller While he did that?

29:53 Caller No. It was, the three of us were all kind of doing it all together, but it was just, she was basically with him and he was, at the time, he was giving me oral sex. But then, since then, it hasn't happened as much as what it used to. And if it does happen, it's not as long as what it used to be.

30:13 Adam Wait a minute.

30:14 Drew This has more, we're trying to figure out the positioning here, but that has more to do with, if there were anything he was doing that would have decreased his activity now, it seems to me that's the position that might have done it.

30:25 Adam Loveline, let me do some math here. If he was giving you oral while he was having intercourse with her, that means he was on his back, and you were like squatting on his face?

30:34 Caller Right.

30:35 Adam Yeah. You know, it sounds cool, but I would find that distracting as a guy.

30:40 Caller Wouldn't you?

30:42 Caller He enjoyed it.

30:43 Adam No, I know, but I would get confused. My mouth would be going like, I'm on a vulva. My mouth is on a vulva. But my penis would go like, wait a minute, I'm in a vagina. And then like they'd start arguing. What do you hide?

30:55 Drew You got penis on my vagina?

30:56 Adam You can't have your penis in a vagina when your mouth is on a vagina. I would never extrapolate the two women. You see, I would just think of parts. I think it must be another part somewhere. And this is all right. Now, how do you know? It was this chick ugly or what was up with her?

31:16 Caller I wouldn't say that, but I wouldn't say she was the best looking.

31:20 Adam Smart, smart. Yeah. See, that's the way to go ladies. Don't bring some waif model in there for your husband to fall in love with.

31:28 Caller Exactly.

31:29 Adam Yeah, just bring some, you know, I'm guessing she wasn't a cow, but she was probably one of these meth chicks, you know, little white trashy.

31:37 Caller Who was she?

31:39 Adam Feathered earrings.

31:41 Caller Yeah, basically.

31:42 Caller Who was she?

31:44 Caller Actually, just some girl we met at a strip club. Oh boy.

31:49 Drew And how do you know he's not still with her?

31:52 Caller I know he's not because we worked together, we're home together 24-7.

31:56 Drew Did this mess up your relationship at all or make things strange?

32:00 Caller Actually, no. If you want to get real technical, the reason we did it was because he had an affair on me. And I figured if he was going to do it, he might have.

32:09 Adam Hold on a second. That is to me, this is one of the greatest women I've ever met in my life. It's like, all right, you want to bang around behind my back? It's time to pay the fiddler. Truly, come here, start blowing him. Well, I lick his nuts. Yeah, we'll see, Mr. Smart Guy. You'll think twice before you have another affair. Don't make me bring in a fourth woman.

32:36 Caller Oh, my God.

32:37 Adam Yeah, talk about deterrent.

32:39 Caller Oh, my God.

32:41 Adam We forced him to eat three quarters of a pepperoni pizza and drink four Bud Tall Boys. Oh, he'll think twice before he starts up those affairs again. True.

32:53 Drew This is this is.

32:54 Caller Listen, is full moon.

32:57 Drew What's happening tonight? What is happening?

32:59 Adam I got to tell you, when I'm when I'm in charge, there will be a roundup.

33:04 Drew And with the Christie's, you have a special place for it.

33:06 Adam Christie will not make the first wave. I'm going after violent criminals. She will be before the third roundup, though. I'll tell you that right now. Christie.

33:16 Caller Yes.

33:16 Adam So he had an affair and your thing was is if you're going to have an affair, you're going to do it where I can see it.

33:24 Basically. Yeah.

33:26 Adam Who did he have the affair with?

33:29 Caller Just some girl that he towed her car.

33:32 Adam He towed her car because he drives a tow truck?

33:35 Caller Yes.

33:35 Adam All right. Hold on. I'm going to get ready. Drew, assume the crash position. I'm going to ask a very important question.

33:41 Drew There we go. Hold on.

33:42 Adam Your head between your knees, hands over your head. Get under the desk, Drew, in case there's falling to break. It's under the console. Do you guys have kids? Four. Oh, Drew, you're all right?

34:03 Drew I saw that. You didn't tell me to close my eyes tight. The light almost blinded me.

34:07 Adam We got to get a helicopter in here in Medivac. What's the closest hospital? What's the ET on the closest hospital? Get the paddles out. All right. Chris, do you realize I look at you as a criminal? Do you understand that? Yeah. Do you understand this is criminal, what I would consider criminal behavior? But put it this way. You know when somebody leaves their two kids, I just heard about this story.

34:32 Drew Locked in a car or something.

34:34 Adam They leave their two kids unattended in the car in the parking lot while the mom runs into Walmart for 45 minutes and does some Christmas shopping. They will arrest that woman and she will have a trial and there will be criminal consequences for doing that. This is doing that to four people from 0 to 18.

34:55 Drew That's right, the entire time.

34:56 Adam You show me the woman that left the two kids in the car, I have more respect for her.

35:00 Drew Just to fill it out, let's see what an asshole her dad was. No, come on, come on, let's see what started.

35:07 Adam What's your dad do?

35:09 Caller My dad's a truck driver.

35:11 Adam Okay, and what did he do? Does he drink?

35:15 Caller Occasionally.

35:15 Drew Was he physically abusive?

35:18 Caller Not to me.

35:19 Adam Who, to your mom?

35:21 Caller No, to my brother. I was a baby.

35:22 I was daddy's little girl.

35:25 Adam So he only had sex with you?

35:29 Drew No, he left that to her siblings.

35:32 Adam Who did what to you? Did your brother beat on you?

35:36 Occasionally.

35:36 Drew Did he sexually abuse you too?

35:38 Caller No.

35:39 Adam No sexual abuse?

35:41 Caller No.

35:42 Adam When did you lose your virginity?

35:45 Caller Well, I can't say. No sexual abuse by family members. My older son was a raped baby.

35:50 Drew A raped baby. And how old were you when you were raped?

35:53 Caller I was 14 and I had him when I was 15.

35:56 Drew And what happened before you were 14?

35:57 Adam Do you call him RB for short?

35:59 Caller Uh, no.

36:00 Adam Oh, okay. I was going to say that would be cruel.

36:02 Drew And what happened before you were 14?

36:04 Caller Nothing. My mom and dad got a divorce when I was 12.

36:08 Adam All right. Okay, listen, babe, we'll give you the same thing we give everyone else. Your vagina is of no interest to me at this point. You've got four kids. First off, do not have a fifth.

36:20 Caller I'm not.

36:21 Adam God, please don't have.

36:22 Caller I only wanted three. State of Michigan won't let you get your tube tied until you're 21.

36:28 Drew Oh, but 21, she had four.

36:31 Caller Yeah, you can't have your tube tied until you're 21 in the state of Michigan.

36:34 Drew No, Christie, there are other ways of having your tube ties to be responsible with your reproductive health.

36:39 Adam I don't know if you check out the internet, but there's these things called condoms that some doctor invented 200 years ago.

36:45 Drew Yeah.

36:46 Caller I'm allergic to all of them.

36:47 Drew You've tried polyurethane skin, animal skin.

36:50 Adam Listen, focus on the kids. Your husband's not hit. No more threesomes. Provide a stable family for the kids. Listen, you idiots in the state of Michigan. You folks have spent all your money on trying to bust Dr. Kevorkian because he put some guy with Lou Gehrig's disease to death when he was shaken like a leaf at 68. He spent millions and millions of taxpayers' dollars trying to take this Kevorkian, this 75-year-old guy in and out and in and out and in and out of prison. Meanwhile, you got a chick who's got three kids once ever, goddamn tube-tied, and you won't let her do it. Listen, I don't care if the person's retarded and 12. If they want to have their tubes tied, let them have their tubes tied. You got three kids. What do you got to do, bring a fourth so the state of Michigan can pay for that fourth kid when the parents break up and the guy doesn't pay his child support? Jesus Christ. Amen. Are they retarded over there in Michigan?

37:54 Drew I'm not sure it's just Michigan that has that long.

37:56 Adam All right, but anyone who's listening, really, somebody get on the Internet, find out how much money the state of Michigan spent trying to incarcerate Kevorkian. This guy who everybody he kills has a videotape of them begging to die and flicking the switch themselves.

38:12 Drew Thanking him.

38:13 Adam Yeah, they write him letters saying, you know, their wives and children write letters saying, my father needs your assistance.

38:20 Drew Thank you.

38:20 Adam What do you think the guy does? He goes door to door with a suicide machine? Hi, can I kill anybody here? No, people beg him. People that are so screwed up, they're crapping in their pants and they have the horrible fear that they're going to stop breathing and they're going to start choking on their own saliva. I mean, think about that. These holier-than-thou retards up on the hill, you know, within their ivory towers.

38:45 Drew What's the point of now? It's that we can't give powers of that to physicians because who knows where they'll go with it.

38:49 Adam Oh, yes, yes, yes. Okay, let me say a couple of things that I know. Well, you know, we've had guests the last couple of shows. I'm going to be able to speak my mind, but let me just say a few things. Listen, all you tards out there, you homo law makers, you, listen to me. This whole out of control progression thing is totally insane. It's the same thing that the gun nuts, you idiot NRA guys do. It's like, well, we let them illegalize, make these 20 round banana clips illegal, and the next thing you know, they're coming into our house and stealing my boy's Daisy air rifle. No, they're not. No, you want to know why they're not? Because it doesn't make sense for them to do it. It's the same thing with all you other freaks with these, well, sure, you get a federal ID card, that's fine. That's fine for the airport. But then they're listening in on your personal conversations and doing God knows what with this information. No, they're not. You know why? Because they don't care about you because you're nothing until you do something like a crime.

39:51 Drew And by the way, that recently this argument has come up in terms of fighting terrorism. It's fine to undo those rights, but they're very hard to get back.

39:58 Adam Oh, yeah. No, they're not. No, they're not.

40:01 Drew When we're not fighting terrorism, you get them back.

40:04 Adam And here's the other one too. Well, this Kevorkian, sure, he goes, and this guy's in an advanced stage of Lou Gehrig's disease, and he has a painful death, and he's crapping in his pants, and he's swallowing his shit, put a tube in his mouth to keep this alive out there, so he doesn't choke. Sure. But then what? Next thing you know, this guy's snuffing out healthy 18-year-old prom queens. No, he's not, everybody. You know why? Because close your eyes for a second, it doesn't make sense. You see, the guy who's on death's doorstep and is leading a painful, miserable existence, who wants to die? Yes, it makes sense. Let's put it this way. We allow farmers to shoot sick animals. What's to stop the farmer from shooting the healthy animal? Nothing in it for him. The horse is healthy. But if we let him shoot the one with the broken leg, what's to stop him from shooting the next Kentucky Derby winner? Why? Because it makes zero sense. That's why you paranoid retards. They're going to come to your house and they're going to confiscate your steak knives. Because you may stab someone. No, they're not. They're not because there's nothing in it for them. You understand? And there's nothing in it for the government to monitor the phone calls you have. They want to stop terrorism. And these people want to stop massacres with banana clips. And this guy wants to put very terminally ill people out of their misery. Those are the three objectives. They're not going to keep spinning. Where's the evil force here? Who's the doctor who wants to kill the healthy young people? Where's the doctor?

41:45 Drew The man. Oh, the man.

41:46 Adam That's right. The man wants to kill the healthy young people. Here's what the man wants. He wants you to cut your food with a plastic fork, a spork. He wants you to use a spork in your own home because you can't be trusted with a knife. The man wants to kill your healthy offspring.

42:02 Drew He wants to listen to everything you're doing.

42:04 Adam He wants to hear every personal conversation you have so we can hold it against you and blacklist you somehow.

42:11 Drew The man will do that.

42:12 Adam That's what the man wants. Now everyone close your eyes and then when somebody can tell me who the man is and what their objectives are, then I'll go for it. Who is he? Is it Gary Condit? Who's the man? Clinton? Who's the man?

42:26 Drew I get this stuff all the time. I was talking to a group of addicts and I said, how come you guys, when I give you directions, how come you don't want to listen? Well, you know, we grew up in the 60s and the man said, yeah, I'm here to help you and tell you how to get better. It's time to start listening, god damn it.

42:38 Adam Thank you, Drew. Drew is as close to the man as you'll find. And we'll take a break.

42:49 Hi, this is Chris Griffin, and you're listening to Loveline, which I'm not allowed to listen to because they say words like brass.

43:00 Adam I love that Seth Green.

43:02 Caller All right.

43:04 Adam Family Guy should be back on. Ran into Seth McFarland, the guy who created it and does The Voice and stuff like that. Now they're doing another season, so good times, everybody. Phil.

43:14 Caller And then I think to myself, my god, wouldn't it be marvellous if I turned out to be homosexual?

43:22 Caller Hello?

43:22 Adam That show is so funny.

43:24 Drew Hey, Phil.

43:25 Adam What's up there, Phil?

43:27 Uh.

43:29 Caller Phil? No.

43:32 Drew He hung up?

43:33 Adam No, I don't know what he did, but just hang with him for a second.

43:36 Unacceptable.

43:37 Drew Try again?

43:38 Adam You want to try again? Hey, Anna. I just belched up some garlic juice or something. You want to have sex with your teacher?

43:47 Caller No, just go out.

43:49 Adam You just want to date him?

43:50 Caller Yeah.

43:50 Drew Are you in his class? Yeah. You got to wait till you finish the class.

43:54 Caller Yeah, of course.

43:55 Adam Where do you live, Chatsworth?

43:56 Caller Yep.

43:57 Caller What a pit.

43:58 Adam Man, what a hellhole.

43:59 Drew At least it's cool down there.

44:00 Caller I'm going to school.

44:00 Adam Yeah. Were you going to Pierce?

44:02 Caller No, UC Irvine.

44:04 Drew UC Irvine from Chatsworth? You don't drive that?

44:07 Caller I do. Twice a week. It's not bad.

44:10 Adam All right. And you're 26. And this guy's a professor? And you think he's interested in you?

44:17 Caller Um, I don't know.

44:19 Caller Not at this point.

44:20 Caller I haven't shown any interest.

44:22 Adam Well...

44:23 Caller I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't.

44:25 Caller I don't know.

44:25 Adam Couldn't he have interest in you without you showing interest in him?

44:30 Caller Perhaps.

44:32 Drew I don't understand what you're planning.

44:33 Adam I mean, look, perhaps. Well, let me write that down. So it's hypothetically possible that someone could be interested in someone else without some advance notice from the other said person? Perhaps.

44:45 Caller I don't really talk to him.

44:46 Caller I'm pretty shy, so...

44:47 Adam Okay, but I guess what I'm asking is, is usually when a young lady thinks about a young man or an even older man, she usually... Chicks usually have a handle on whether the guy digs him or not, or has been checking him out or anything like that.

45:05 Caller Well, because it's an instructor, there's kind of that boundary, you know?

45:08 Adam Yeah. I know, but no extra attention. You never caught him taking a glance at you?

45:17 Caller Maybe once in a while.

45:19 Adam Okay.

45:19 Caller I haven't been in the class that long.

45:21 Adam Okay, baby.

45:24 Drew Even the NBA candidates are retarded tonight.

45:26 Adam People need to, we really need to go on some talk shows with these folks. Talk about, talk about riveting conversation. Yeah, perhaps. Okay, look, then you like the guy and you can, you just have zero idea whether he has any interest in you at all.

45:42 Drew It doesn't matter. You have no idea. We'll accept that. You're flying blind, finish the class, go ahead and ask him out. That's fine.

45:49 Adam Let's see if he wants to get some coffee after class.

45:51 Drew You'll know.

45:52 Adam All right, real fast, like, Gina?

45:56 Caller Yes?

45:57 Adam You're 27?

45:58 Caller Yes.

45:58 Adam Last three months, you had fatigue and muscle soreness?

46:02 Caller Well, the fatigue has been ongoing off and on for several years.

46:07 Adam Are you depressed? Yeah. Depressed?

46:09 Caller Yeah.

46:10 Adam Are you depressed?

46:11 Caller Well, off and on.

46:12 Caller I've, yeah, always. I mean, off and on.

46:14 Drew Off and on? Always? Off and on?

46:16 Caller Not always, but, you know, throughout my life.

46:18 Caller Yeah.

46:19 Drew All right, we gotta go to break.

46:20 Adam All right, hold on a second.

46:22 Caller Okay.

46:22 Adam Don't kill yourself during the break. Or we'll get back. A lot of very definitive answers on this show so far tonight. I'm, you know, it always seems like depression to me when people are having trouble motivating, but we'll get back with Gina after this. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Let's get back to phones and speak to Gina, who's 27. Gina's having some fatigue and some muscle soreness. Gina?

46:59 Caller Yes, I'm here.

47:00 Drew And you had a fatigue for many years, right?

47:03 Caller Yes. Yes, actually, I have.

47:05 Drew And the muscle soreness is something new?

47:07 Caller Yes, recently. Just I've noticed I've always been pretty flexible, but I just feel like stiff. I try to stretch out and really stiff. I know I'm deficient in B12. I had a CBC done just this summer.

47:23 Drew Well, CBC doesn't measure your B12.

47:26 Caller CBC and something else I don't remember, but anyhow.

47:28 Adam What does CBC stand for?

47:30 Drew Complete blood count.

47:31 Caller Oh, all right.

47:32 Adam And so you're taking your B12 now?

47:35 Caller Yes. Sublingual B12.

47:38 Drew Do you carry any diagnoses other than that?

47:41 Caller Not that I know of. No, I'm sorry. No, I don't.

47:44 Caller All right.

47:46 Adam You think you're depressed?

47:49 Caller I noticed. Oh, I've noticed before, like a week before my period, I get really, really freaky moods, like I'm just the bitch from hell, sort of.

48:05 Drew Do you have sleep problems?

48:07 Caller Sleep problems?

48:09 Caller Sleep? I sleep well. I actually have problems waking up more than sleeping.

48:14 Adam All right. Now, let me just ask you some general questions. How big are your breasts? Not very big. Okay, so that could be a former reason for depression. Do you like your job? Do you have a man in your life?

48:27 Caller Yes, and no. I mean, no, I don't like my job.

48:30 Adam You don't like it?

48:31 Caller And yes, I do have a man in my life.

48:33 Adam Well, here's what I found through personal experience. When you're doing stuff that doesn't exactly flip your cookie, like maybe you're creative.

48:42 Drew What does it tell your story?

48:44 Adam Who, me?

48:44 Drew Yeah.

48:45 Adam Well, I did a job that I didn't want to do for many, many years in life. Many, many years.

48:53 Drew We suffer now because of it.

48:55 Adam Yes, not a couple of summers my whole life. And during that period, I had trouble getting out of bed. I had back pain. I had neck pain.

49:05 Drew Headaches, fatigue.

49:07 Adam No headaches.

49:07 Caller Fatigue.

49:09 Adam Yeah. I was tired. It's tough to get out of bed when the alarm goes off to head to a place you don't want to go.

49:16 Drew But you said you also had just fatigue, like that end of the day, like that draggy feeling.

49:20 Adam Not even the end of the day. The beginning of the day. I just want to lay down. And it's tough. And then, you know, magically when I started doing what I wanted to do for living, which is really nothing but able to support myself, I had all kinds of energy. And I think that makes a big difference. And so, I mean, you can start looking at blood count and that kind of stuff, and it could be something like that, but most likely, it's your life.

49:49 Caller Right.

49:51 Adam And so if you got a job you don't like, I mean, you got to start focusing on something you would like to do. Or if you want a man, you got to start focusing on getting a man.

50:00 Caller I've been in college for the last couple years. And I haven't figured out exactly what I want to study or do with that.

50:10 Drew Well, you're about seven years late on college too, so something's been going on here.

50:16 Adam Well, what would your fantasy job be?

50:19 Caller Oh my God. Maybe like traveling. I love foreign language. I've studied Russian.

50:26 Drew All right.

50:26 Adam So the point is, is doing something that turns you on will make it a lot easier to have energy and get you out of bed and do all that stuff.

50:37 Drew And then there are things you can do to help yourself biologically. Obviously, if you have B12 deficiency, if that truly is what you have, then there is an added risk of thyroid problems. That can cause fatigue, rheumatoid arthritis. You mentioned stiffness. That needs to be evaluated. You should have your sleep. I think fatigue is largely a sleep issue. So your sleep hygiene may not be any good. And exercise doesn't take proper nutrition, but exercise.

50:59 Adam All right. So everyone exercise and find something they like to do. That really helps. You'll have a ton of energy. Robert?

51:08 Caller Hey, guys.

51:09 Adam Hey. You're 32. What's up?

51:11 Caller Before I ask my question, I just like to say that I heard the Ozzie show last night. And he and his wife were the most entertaining guests I've heard on the show in the year and a half. And I've been listening to it.

51:21 Adam It was great. Yeah. We did like them. They were very good.

51:24 Caller I thought the Minka show was great, but then...

51:27 Adam That's true.

51:28 Drew Ozzie doesn't compare with Minka, but...

51:30 Adam I miss Minka. She's the number two big boob queen? Or what is her ranking these days? Number two? Number one. Oh, number one.

51:39 Caller Number one what?

51:40 Adam It's number one what, Anderson?

51:41 Drew Number one, Asian big boob queen. She said that to you in the middle of a Slayer song, right?

51:48 Adam That's right. At a strip club.

51:50 Drew How did you even know what the hell she was saying?

51:52 Adam I don't know. But apparently she used to play some professional tennis, I think. I mean, that was a former occupation of hers.

51:58 Caller Don't play tennis no more.

52:02 Adam Hey, Robert.

52:03 Caller He's number one.

52:04 Adam Yeah. I like this where I have a fake conversation with a virtual Minka.

52:08 Caller You are the weakest thing.

52:09 Adam Goodbye.

52:10 Caller All right.

52:11 Adam And Ozzy. What we really ought to do is cut up the Minka show and the Ozzy show and turn it into one super show that cuts me and Drew out.

52:20 Caller All right.

52:21 Adam Thank you. So, Robert, what's your problem?

52:25 Caller I work in the computer room for a newspaper. I work nights, Friday night from midnight until eight o'clock Saturday morning. Then I have to come back in at four in the afternoon on Saturday and work a double. And then on Sunday.

52:40 Adam What is a double?

52:42 Caller Sixteen hours, two shifts in a row.

52:43 Drew So four until like eight, right?

52:45 Caller Right, four in the afternoon until eight in the morning. And then I come back in again Sunday and do the same thing, work from four p.m. until eight a.m. Monday morning.

52:54 Drew And that's your work week right there?

52:56 Caller That's my forty hours. Wow.

52:57 Adam And why do they, do they let you do that?

53:01 Caller I mean, well, I used to work five nights a week, eight hours, and there was somebody else doing this, and they got hurt. So I'm filling in for them. I don't know how it all got started, but it must be all right, you know?

53:13 Adam Well, I mean, doesn't your supervisor think, geez, this guy's not going to be very productive when he's on his fifteenth hour and he's had no sleep?

53:20 Caller I guess nobody gives a nest, you know, as long as the job gets done.

53:24 Adam All right. So you're...

53:25 Caller There's a lot of monitoring. There's a lot of just looking at computer screens going on.

53:29 Adam Right, right. Okay.

53:31 Caller And, you know, I've worked nights my whole life and I never had any trouble staying awake doing the eight hour shifts, but these doubles are kicking my ass. And this may sound like a simple question, but I mean, coffee doesn't work, sodas. I've never had any experience taking no-dos or any kind of stuff like that.

53:50 Drew I was just wondering... That's just caffeine.

53:52 Caller I was just wondering if there was any ideas, anything you could recommend?

53:56 Adam Well, what is the difference between taking a couple of no-dos or a couple of those caffeine pills? Is that two cups of coffee?

54:04 Drew I don't know the equivalent dosing.

54:05 Adam I would love to know how many grams of caffeine are in an average cup, eight ounce cup of coffee, and how much is in one of those pills. I would assume each pill is like sort of a cup of...

54:16 Drew Two to four cups, something like that.

54:18 Adam Yeah, and they couldn't have you take the equivalent of 14 cups or something like that. Hey, Robert.

54:25 Caller Yeah.

54:25 Adam Yeah, this is a tough one.

54:28 Caller I mean, I'm pretty much sticking it out. I mean, I hit like a period of two or three hours where I'm just kind of out of it, and then I like snap out of it in the morning. You know, I'm okay if I drive home.

54:39 Adam Yeah, but see, this is an unrealistic request you're making of your body and your mind.

54:45 Caller Right.

54:45 Adam And so instead of figuring out a way to conquer it, I would figure out a way around this schedule.

54:50 Caller Really?

54:51 Adam I mean, I would talk to your supervisor and look at working it out somehow, possibly the, you know, second of the double shift that comes on Sunday or Saturday. It just seems unrealistic.

55:03 Caller It's the four days off after that that it kind of got my...

55:06 Adam Yeah, I know...

55:07 Caller .the upside of it.

55:08 Adam It's a feast or famine, but I still think... I don't think there's any way you can condition the human body to, you know, work nonstop and tolerate that and all that. And if the soda and the caffeine and the coffee is not doing it for you, I can't think of anything that's going to condition you to do that. So...

55:27 Drew It's like you have to exercise like a maniac all week, sort of train, sleep enough, prepare, and then assault on the weekend, and then you're screwed all week again.

55:36 Adam Yeah. It ain't healthy.

55:37 Drew No, it's not good.

55:38 Adam You get no rhythm. You're going to have to talk to your supervisor and work it out. Matt?

55:43 Yes.

55:43 Adam Hey, you're 29. What's up?

55:46 Caller I had... I actually had one comment. Now, I have three comments. All right. I'll make them quick. First of all, I think that there are 120 grams in an 8-ounce cup of coffee and there's usually 200 milligrams, I mean. There's usually 200 milligrams in one of those no-dose pills.

56:05 Drew Yeah. How do you... how could you control for the dose per cup of coffee given how differently people make coffee?

56:11 Adam Well, they have an average.

56:13 Caller Yeah, this is something I read in a psychopharmacology text in a place.

56:17 Adam Yeah, well, there's some, you know, a Starbucks might be 220 and Denny's may be 90, but I think they'll... they have an average.

56:25 Drew I had read that between 1500 milligrams and 3000 is considered a syndrome called caffeine-ism. So that would be 7 cups? Doesn't seem right. Anyway.

56:34 Adam All right. So anyway, so one of those no-doses is like having a cup and a half of coffee. Yeah. OK.

56:40 Caller Thanks. Second comment. Drew is very against the use of benzodiazepines in treating anxiety. And...

56:48 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no. No, I'm not. I'm not. That's untrue. I may give you that impression because we're dealing with addicts a lot here. And you give an addict a benzo and you will throw the switch on their disease.

57:00 Adam Is it a benzo? Is that a benny?

57:02 Drew It's like valium-like drugs, some of the sleeping meds. The stuff that you like, Adam. The stuff they have, even the Ambien is a non-benzo, but it binds at the GABA receptor site, very similar to the other benzo.

57:13 Adam Give me some of the real benzos, would you, Matt?

57:16 Caller Well, the ones that are used most commonly nowadays are Xanax, or Prasolam. That's the brand name of Generic, and then Klonopin, and the Generic for that is Klonizepam.

57:29 Adam Drew, do they have some kind of a variety pack, like Cease Candy? I can just go ahead and take a half bite out of the ones I don't like, and test them all.

57:37 Drew Alphabetically, it's Xanax Syrux.

57:39 Adam That's by the way, that's how you know the holidays are upon you when you, and you've been eating too much, when you start taking half bites out of candies and putting them back in and fishing around for the ones you like, and then eventually eating the ones you bit later on, about a week later, that suddenly are now palatable. All right, so Drew's all right with those, but yeah, he doesn't like people with a history getting into them because they have trouble getting off of them.

58:02 Drew I've got tons of patients on long-term clonopin. I know low-dose Xanax throughout the day now is very popular for anxiety disorders, but we're talking predominantly to young, healthy people and or addicted people, and all things being equal, it's best if they can get in some either behavioral or psychotherapeutic interventions, or if they're an addict, categorically avoid those medicines.

58:22 Adam Matt, do you realize tonight at 11, like an hour and 12 minutes in the show, you have a higher IQ than the combined 14 callers?

58:33 Drew I'm just thinking this. He's going to compensate for the entire evening.

58:38 Adam The 14 callers we had before, Matt, the average IQ was nine and a half. And Matt, is it like 137, 140, which actually beats out the combined total of the IQs that have called this show up until now?

58:57 Caller Oh, Adam, I'm glad to be of service.

58:59 Adam So what's your third or fourth thing, man?

59:02 Caller My third comment is that I'm a college professor. Oh, boy.

59:08 Caller Yeah.

59:09 Caller Yeah, I feel that way about it sometimes, too, but...

59:12 Caller What do you teach?

59:13 Caller What that?

59:14 Caller What do you teach?

59:14 Caller I teach philosophy.

59:16 Drew Oh, interesting. What kind?

59:19 Caller I did my dissertation in philosophy of language and metaphysics. I teach philosophy of religion and systemology.

59:24 Now, this is wonderful.

59:27 Caller I can tell Anderson is thrilled. Anyway, I just had a comment about the professor dating the student. Yeah, right. It's actually not against the rules. I've taught at Fort Irving University now. It's actually not against the rules on most campuses for a professor to date a student during the class.

59:51 Drew Really?

59:52 Caller But it's extremely, extremely unwise. Any professor who has half a brain is not going to do it because it's a quick step from dating to sexual harassment, especially given all the sexual harassment business that went on during the late 80s, early 90s.

1:00:16 Drew I agree with you on that, but what is it with the universities? They don't have any sort of code of ethical conduct.

1:00:24 Caller Well, the only university that I've been at was University of Wisconsin-Madison, which is a highly liberal place. And they wouldn't let anybody who had power over someone's grade date that person. So if you were a TA there, for instance, and wanted to date one of your students, you would have to turn over a grading to the professor, which seems quite reasonable to me. But I was actually surprised to learn at the other places that I taught at that there wasn't such a role. But I can't imagine any professor that values her job doing something like that, especially when the professor is a male. But I will say with respect to the professor noticing the woman, I don't think students realize how much teachers notice what's going on in the classroom in general.

1:01:32 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:01:33 Drew We actually had a little discussion about that caller ourselves.

1:01:37 Adam Yeah, we decided she was hot and knew it and figured, let me tell you something about good looking women. It is like being, I imagine what Merlin, the magician must have felt like during the King Arthur days. Was that when Merlin was around?

1:01:52 Caller What?

1:01:54 Adam Just doing whatever you want. I mean, here's the thing, whether the person is interested in me or not or knows or thinks or doesn't or is married or is in love or engaged, it is of no consequence to me. When I alert them that I'm interested in them, they will be interested in me. Beautiful women know that. They know that a heterosexual guy is going to take interest in them when it's time that they do. Now, their choice is whether to do it or not, and some do it sparingly, but they know and they've been around, and this woman was 26 years old, 27 years old, something like that. She'd been around and probably attractive long enough to know that it was time, when it's time to let someone know, to do it. And as guys, we can't really understand that. They also know that sexually. They know if they want to go into a bar and tap a guy on the shoulder and say, hey, how about we get out of here? I got a minivan down the park and we can do it right now. The guys just walk out and do it. They don't abuse that, but they know they can do it.

1:02:59 Drew The guys just become like zombies.

1:03:01 Adam They're like gentle giants in a way. They don't abuse it. You know what I'm saying? Some don't.

1:03:06 Drew Their powers.

1:03:07 Adam Right. Some use it for evil, though. Neil? Yeah. You're 40, what's he, 41?

1:03:14 Caller Yeah. Still alive, though.

1:03:15 Adam What's up?

1:03:21 Caller About 18 years ago, 19 years ago, I guess it was, I had, I'm nervous, sorry. I think I raped someone, but I don't think I raped her.

1:03:32 Drew What happened?

1:03:33 Adam What happened was, we'll tell you whether you raped her.

1:03:36 Caller I was in college and it was summer school at Berkeley. I went to Mexico with these two girls, and nothing happened there. We were just friends. But I really had the hots for this one girl. And we were in my car, and when we came back, we dropped the other girl off. I mean, this is 19 years ago, I don't remember exactly, but she wasn't here. And I was just with the other girl, the one I had the hots for. And so she was staying in my house, and she was in the guest bedroom. And I came in and just started kissing her.

1:04:14 Drew And she was asleep or what was the situation?

1:04:16 Caller No, she wasn't asleep. She was up.

1:04:17 Adam She was drugged, passed out, knocked out.

1:04:19 Caller Got it, got it. That's right.

1:04:20 Caller Yeah, I had some prescription detractors.

1:04:23 Adam You crush it up, put in her fruity petals.

1:04:25 Caller I don't want them to resist.

1:04:26 Adam No, you know what?

1:04:28 Caller It makes her really unpleasant.

1:04:30 Adam I had this bitch scratch me one time fighting with me. I almost detached my retina, Drew. That's why I drug them now. You understand?

1:04:38 Drew Gotcha.

1:04:39 Caller No, there was no drugs. She was, and I didn't even, I didn't have her cornered.

1:04:45 Adam All right, so you went up there.

1:04:47 Caller There was nothing.

1:04:47 Adam You went up and started kissing her, and then what?

1:04:50 Caller And then I, and then I undid her pants and went down on her.

1:04:53 Adam Okay. Well, listen, we know you didn't rape her because you're from Berkeley. And in Berkeley, I know the thinking that goes on in Berkeley over there. You said you're from Berkeley. You went to school in Berkeley. In Berkeley, most women assume who live in Berkeley that if you have sex with a woman, it is rape until proven otherwise.

1:05:11 Drew Did she say no?

1:05:13 Caller No, she didn't say no.

1:05:14 Drew Did she struggle in any way?

1:05:16 Caller No.

1:05:17 Drew Why do you feel like that was a rape?

1:05:19 Caller Because I was not in a relationship with her. She wasn't interested in me.

1:05:24 Adam No. Hold on. Drew, as a former passionate, passionate, passionate man who's done this more times than there are logs in a Lincoln log set, he cannot understand this kind of thinking at all. This is considered scoring, my friend. And the fact that you did not have a relationship with her and that she didn't and that she wasn't interested in you makes it that much more of an achievement.

1:05:51 Caller Oh, really? Yeah.

1:05:52 Caller I don't think that was a mean thing.

1:05:54 Adam No.

1:05:54 Caller Well, she, she...

1:05:56 Drew If she were really into you and you sort of didn't, weren't empathic towards her feelings, that's a mean thing. But you...

1:06:03 Caller Yeah, no, she wasn't, she wasn't into me.

1:06:04 Drew That's the point. This was mutual.

1:06:06 Adam Why do you think she went along with this? No, no, no, wait.

1:06:09 Caller Maybe he didn't even have to. She, I was into her.

1:06:12 Drew I understand, but there was a mutual sort of disconnect, though. You sort of had sex and that's all you really wanted at that time.

1:06:17 Adam Why wasn't she into you? Why wasn't she into you?

1:06:20 Caller She was into tall, muscular black guys. And I'm a skinny, you know, white guy.

1:06:27 Adam Oh, let me tell you. You walk around the campus of UC Berkeley. They're thick with tall, rangy, muscular black men, aren't they?

1:06:36 Caller I like a dark guy with a very big willy.

1:06:40 Caller She was from Spain.

1:06:43 Adam Okay, well, look, any port in a storm, fine. You had a nice conquest and that's fine.

1:06:49 Caller Do you think I can apologize for it?

1:06:51 Adam Where are you going to find her?

1:06:54 Caller On the net.

1:06:54 Drew Are you in recovery now?

1:06:56 Caller Recovery?

1:06:57 Drew Okay.

1:06:58 Caller Okay.

1:06:58 Adam Are you interested in her?

1:07:00 Caller No.

1:07:01 Adam No? Really? I mean, do you...

1:07:02 Drew I think making amends is a healthy thing if it's something that you really have negative feelings about.

1:07:07 Caller Okay, here's what I... I would never do something like that now. Of course not. I would never quote someone that I knew was not into me at all.

1:07:13 Caller Yeah.

1:07:14 Drew That's called being an adult and that what you were doing before was called being an adolescent, a young adult.

1:07:18 Caller You don't think it was...

1:07:19 Adam No. And look, it is not rape and this is not even close to rape and if she wanted to as an adult, she could have stopped at any point.

1:07:29 Caller That's true.

1:07:30 Caller But it was just like right when she came, she just kind of like went...

1:07:35 Caller kind of like... I mean, she just made like a noise and then she just kind of sat up and put her pants on and walked out of the room and I felt like...

1:07:46 Drew You felt like you were raped.

1:07:47 Caller What?

1:07:48 Drew You felt like you were raped.

1:07:49 Caller That's right.

1:07:50 All right. You are found guilty as charged.

1:07:53 Drew Wow.

1:07:53 Adam Jesus Christ.

1:07:55 Drew Wow, Neil.

1:07:56 Adam Calling all nerds. Jesus Christ. You know, here's what this world consists of. It's guys who actually raped who don't believe they're raped. And then the rest of these guys, these poor guys... Listen, don't anyone go to Berkeley. Those feminine lesbos over there and those bleeding hard, homo left-wingers will just beat the crap out of any heterosexual white male who walks onto that campus. You'll walk out of the place crying for indigenous tribes that you've never even heard of. Oh, no. Let's all take a vote. No war. Take the flag down. It offends people who aren't from... Oh, there's such a big pack of pussies over there in Berkeley. Oh, thank God. Thank God everyone looks at you guys as just a bunch of high IQ but squandered minds over there who just... you know, spend your time listening to crappy acoustic music and doing mind-altering drugs. Thank God you have no control over this country. Could you imagine what a pit this country would become if that mentality took it over?

1:09:13 Drew Oh, we'd call it the 70s.

1:09:15 Adam That's right. That's right. All right. Have fun over there. As a matter of fact, listen, why doesn't everyone, I'd like everyone from Berkeley and Santa Monica just to pack up and go to Afghanistan so you can be with your people over there. Go ahead, hand some bread out. Help the kids. Enjoy. Please. We'll be back.

1:09:41 Caller Hey, everybody.

1:09:43 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Let's hop back on to the phones and speak to Kevin, who's 24. Kevin?

1:10:00 Caller Hey, what's up, guys?

1:10:01 Adam Hey.

1:10:02 Caller Go ahead.

1:10:03 Caller So I just recently discovered that I contracted herpes.

1:10:07 Drew You discovered that?

1:10:08 Caller Well, I went to the doctor and found out. I kind of figured it out before that.

1:10:14 Drew I was watching TV. There was a Valtrex commercial. I thought that's interesting to me. It was primetime news that there's enough herpes out there to support a Valtrex commercial during, you know what I'm saying?

1:10:25 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:10:25 Drew It's common.

1:10:26 Adam Don't they make kickboxing apparel? What does that Valtrex company make? What is the chick doing? Kickboxing and rollerblading?

1:10:33 Drew That was the Zofrax. Yes, that was their previous campaign.

1:10:35 Adam What was this bitch doing? Kickboxing, right?

1:10:38 Drew This looked more like an allergy commercial where they were sort of sail surfing over fields of wheat and things.

1:10:45 Adam Oh, I see.

1:10:45 Caller They were floating in the air.

1:10:46 Drew Yeah, right.

1:10:47 Adam Right.

1:10:48 Drew So, what's your question?

1:10:49 Caller Well, so two things. I'm on antibiotics. They put me on Zofrax. And I'm wondering if there's anything that I can do to kind of in the short term treat the symptoms until the antibiotics work. And two, I've always been a really good kid and have not had to deal with an SCD until now. And so, I'm just curious about in terms of talking with partners and stuff after this.

1:11:17 Adam Well, where do you have it?

1:11:20 Caller Kind of in the back end.

1:11:22 Drew Oh, on your buttock? On the skin?

1:11:25 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:11:26 Drew Yeah, I was just telling Adam that I've seen a lot of... He said, how come you never get on the skin? I said, I've seen a lot of it around the pelvic area. The buttock and back.

1:11:34 Adam Oh, really?

1:11:34 Drew It's kind of a pain in the ass back there because it causes a lot of pain. It causes back pain, it radiates down the leg.

1:11:39 Adam Oh, really? It's not on the old Peckeroo?

1:11:42 Caller No, no, no, no, no. No, it's not how I got it.

1:11:43 Drew All right, so it's kind of good news to you because you can use your penis without too much concern.

1:11:48 Caller Yeah, this is true.

1:11:49 Adam Yeah, well, wait a minute. How do you get it on your backside there?

1:11:53 Caller I think I got it from anal ingus or unprotected anal facts. Don't.

1:11:58 Adam With your guy friend or your girlfriend?

1:12:03 Caller With a guy, yeah.

1:12:04 Adam A guy. Sometimes the gays, they get it in their mustache.

1:12:12 Drew Is it on your anus or is it...? Okay, all right.

1:12:15 Adam Well, bad times.

1:12:18 Caller Yeah, it's not fun.

1:12:19 Drew Okay, well, you need to obviously keep the stool soft. We want to take stool softeners.

1:12:24 Adam Oh, really? You mean like during a breakout? You don't want to be pushing too hard?

1:12:29 Drew Well, it hurts. Yeah, I got something hard through there.

1:12:32 Adam So what is a stool? What kind of stool soft?

1:12:34 Drew Coley's, surfac, this kind of thing.

1:12:36 Adam Okay.

1:12:36 Drew Okay. The Zovrax is not an antibiotic. It's an antiviral and that is the treatment. You're not waiting for it to kick in. You are on treatment.

1:12:45 Caller Okay.

1:12:45 Drew It doesn't do much except shorten the duration of your outbreak. So it's not like suddenly it's going to magically get better. It's going to run its 7 to 10 days.

1:12:53 Adam Do they want you to stay on it constantly?

1:12:56 Caller No. No. They just want me to stay on it for 10 days.

1:13:00 Adam All right.

1:13:01 Drew And if you have frequent outbreaks, they may want you to keep on it constantly. Probably it's the kind of thing you'll take for 3 days every time you have a recurrence. You do need to talk to your partners in the future. It is possible that you have virus elsewhere even though it's just primarily in the anal area. If you're not having it, I mean you got to discuss it with your partners. It's your responsibility now to talk about it and any contact back there can result in the transmission even if you're not having symptoms.

1:13:28 Adam Let me tell you, my self-esteem is not in good enough shape to hold still while someone licks my asshole. I don't feel good enough about myself.

1:13:36 Drew I see. He said anal lingus. I didn't know what he was talking about. That's how pathetic I am.

1:13:42 Adam What did you think anal lingus was? Was it like a new mint?

1:13:45 Drew A plant.

1:13:49 Adam Anal lingus majora. I mean, yeah.

1:13:52 Drew Like a tree, a management tree.

1:13:54 Adam That's right. You know it is the butt root plant, but it's... You look it up in the dictionary, it's anal lingus. Mega. All right. Do you want to do something special on your wedding night?

1:14:11 Caller Have you ever licked this butt?

1:14:12 Drew Who was that?

1:14:13 Adam Tom Arnold. Oh, God.

1:14:14 You don't know that's Tom Arnold?

1:14:15 Adam You don't recognize Tom Arnold?

1:14:16 Caller That's the one.

1:14:18 Hello?

1:14:19 Adam Is that Lorena?

1:14:20 Yes, it is.

1:14:21 Adam All right. What's up? You're 30.

1:14:23 Caller Yes, I'm calling because I heard you guys talking the other night about Xenadrine, and I only came in on part of the conversation.

1:14:30 Adam All right.

1:14:31 Caller And so I was wondering, would it... Is there some concerns with taking the Xenadrine or...

1:14:37 Drew If I am... I don't want to swear to this, but I believe it has Mao Wang in it, right? Yeah. Which is a phedra, and that is associated with heart attacks and strokes. I just admitted a guy to the hospital tonight with a phedra excess.

1:14:51 Adam How old was he?

1:14:52 Drew Like a 30 year old, 31 year old.

1:14:55 Adam And what did he have?

1:14:56 Drew He actually got addicted to it. And so this is a serious issue. There's all sorts of health concerns. You know, you're taking a stimulant.

1:15:05 Caller Right.

1:15:06 Drew And it's not a good idea.

1:15:08 Caller And so what other kind of suggestions besides...

1:15:11 Drew See a dietician, get a trainer.

1:15:13 Adam What are you trying to lose weight?

1:15:16 Caller Definitely.

1:15:17 Adam Well, how much do you weigh?

1:15:19 Caller I'm 100 pounds overweight my weight.

1:15:22 Adam Okay, that's good. I like that. You know, that's smarter. Because like when you go... Well, first off, your weight... It's crazy. You can buy yourself 25 pounds at that because you look up those books, you go, well, I'm five, four and a half. I'm a 30 year old woman. That means I can weigh 163. No. And we all know the reality is that that ain't kind of... But it's smart and diabolical at the same time to just say how much overweight you are. Because like if you go, I'm 254 pounds, everyone goes, woohoo. But if you go, I'm 100 pounds overweight, people go, okay. Yeah. You see what I'm saying?

1:15:56 Drew I've got some work to do.

1:15:57 Adam Yeah, that's smart. Right.

1:15:59 Drew I got to get rid of that.

1:15:59 Adam Right.

1:16:00 Caller I was on steroids a few years ago. For what? That caused me to gain the 100 pounds overweight.

1:16:05 Caller For what?

1:16:06 Caller For sinus and allergy problems.

1:16:09 Drew They put you on prednisone? For a lengthy period of time?

1:16:13 Caller For like two or three months.

1:16:14 Drew That's awful.

1:16:15 Caller I went through a third sinus surgery and they put me on the extended dose of steroids for X amount of time and...

1:16:26 Adam No, bad times. Hey, Lorena?

1:16:28 Caller Yeah.

1:16:29 Adam So here's your plan. I'm going to give you your plan. You ready?

1:16:31 Caller Yeah.

1:16:33 Adam I'm telling you, I'm no dietician, I'm no doctor, but I am a genius.

1:16:38 Caller I believe it.

1:16:39 Adam Yes. Here are the things that make you gain weight. Just get away from them carbohydrates. Okay?

1:16:47 Caller Well, I don't have very much carbohydrates in my diet anymore. I've been drinking a lot of water, doing exercise.

1:16:54 Adam That's it. And that's it. And stay off them carbohydrates and exercise and you'll be fine. It'll start happening. It sometimes takes a little while. Actually, what happens is sometimes is stuff doesn't move for a couple of weeks. You go, screw this, it doesn't work. And then you get off it. And then it makes a move when you're off it. And then you get confused because you're like, hey, I just ate a pan of rice crispy treats and put peanut butter on it. I seem lighter today, but wait a minute, how did that work? And it's like, because it's like you're two weeks off. I don't know how that works. But I'm telling you, the one, almost the one and only thing I've ever noticed, dieting wise, is carbohydrates. Thank you.

1:17:38 Drew And calories, obviously.

1:17:40 Adam Yeah. Mark?

1:17:41 Caller Yeah, not since Batman and Robin have two men contributed more to the betterment of society than Adam and Dr. Drew.

1:17:48 Drew Wow, thank you. Commissioner Gordon calling you.

1:17:50 Adam That's right.

1:17:51 Caller The only other two men I could think of were Sig Free and Roy, and I heard Leather gives Dr. Drew a skin rash.

1:17:57 Adam Oh, where's that high hand again? Hey, I've got a problem.

1:18:01 Caller I'm a high-rise welder, and I was involved in a severe electrocution. And because of electrocution, I was having some anxieties, and my doctor put me on Paxil, which basically killed my libido.

1:18:13 Drew Sure.

1:18:14 Caller And I was wondering what I could do to increase my libido as far as increasing my testosterone. Is there any kind of diet I can take?

1:18:22 Drew No, you have to get off the... You can add Welbutrin to the Paxil. You can use Viagra. Or you can switch to Serizone or Remeron, which would have a good... potentially as good an effect as the Paxil on anxiety without causing the sexual dysfunction.

1:18:39 Caller Now after I wean myself off the Paxil, is there a certain amount of time I can expect before my libido returns to its John Holmes-like state?

1:18:49 Drew You know, as you're appropriately concerned, Paxil can have a withdrawal syndrome. If you're having withdrawal symptoms, obviously that's going to screw with your libido too. So I'd expect it to take a couple of weeks before your libido turns back. But it's pretty quick.

1:19:02 Adam Hey, how'd you get it executed? I mean, execute it, electrocute it. Almost the same thing.

1:19:07 Caller Yeah, pretty cool. There's a few letters interspersed there. Basically, it was a malfunctioning welder. And if you know anything about electrical cords, a 220 electrical cord has two 110 circuits and a ground circuit. And the plug was altered so that when the machine was plugged in, instead of the metal chassis of the welder being grounded, the metal chassis of the welder became electrified. And I was basically working on the exterior scaffolding of a very tall building. The day was over. I came from the exterior scaffolding onto the building. I stepped over the steel safety cables that go around the perimeter of the building so you don't walk off the building. My right hand was wrapped around the steel cable. I took my leg, came over the cable, reached out with my left hand to balance myself on the welder. As soon as my left hand contacted the metal chassis of the welder, I became grounded to the steel cable and was lit up.

1:20:11 Caller Wow.

1:20:12 Caller Extremely painful.

1:20:12 Drew How long ago was this?

1:20:15 Caller April 23rd of this year.

1:20:17 Drew Any burns or anything?

1:20:18 Caller No, that's what the doctor was concerned with, was the fact that there wasn't an exit wound, which basically meant my body absorbed it. So I had a heavy blood discharge through my urine for a number of months.

1:20:32 Drew Wow.

1:20:32 Caller They did a sky psychostopy on me, which is invasive, where they actually takes a camera and put it up your urethra. I had a severe...

1:20:42 Drew So I sent your friend Jimmy for it one time.

1:20:43 Adam Yeah, it was not... He's still thanking you. Jesus, but do you have any kind of superhuman powers at all? Can you see through things? You know what people are thinking.

1:20:54 Drew That's normally what happens after electrocution, isn't it?

1:20:57 Adam Well, hemorrhagic radiation normally.

1:20:59 Caller I can close my eyes and know that after the show, I do think that you will be watching Japanese porn.

1:21:07 Adam Very good. But Korean, my friend. So you're not the genius you thought you were. All right, Mark, listen, God bless you with the...

1:21:16 Caller Who's number one?

1:21:18 Adam Yeah, that's rough. He's an arc welder, you know.

1:21:22 Drew He's okay, though. I mean, he's going to get over this.

1:21:25 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:21:26 Adam Let's see. Let's talk to Donald. Donald's 21. Donald?

1:21:31 Caller A.

1:21:32 Adam B.

1:21:33 Caller First of all, I want to ask, how many stations you guys are on and when's your contract up?

1:21:38 Adam That's a good... That's good. I don't know how many stations we're on.

1:21:42 Drew Like 80 or something?

1:21:43 Caller Yeah.

1:21:43 Adam 75 or 80? 72? No, 2? No, 200? No, hold on a second. Yeah, we're... Do you know how many stations we're on? 82? All right, you 80.

1:21:56 Drew Somewhere around 80, Donald. All right.

1:21:57 Adam I'll say 2. Listen, you retard. Put your hand up your ass where it belongs. Sorry, I was talking to Damien on our phone screen. He just... See, here's the thing about Damien that really makes him a retard is he's making a joke by saying 2, which is fine. I understand it as a joke, but then he sticks with it and he knows I'm confused. He's still sticking with the 2, 2, 2. All right, you idiot.

1:22:21 Drew Donald, what's the question?

1:22:21 Adam So yeah, and our contract was up and then it's renewed, right?

1:22:26 Caller For how long?

1:22:26 Adam Is it renewed yet? Like 3 years? Yeah, something like that. Yeah, is that good?

1:22:31 Caller I will be on your show.

1:22:32 Adam Okay.

1:22:33 Caller I'm making you guys a promise.

1:22:35 Drew Where are you calling from?

1:22:36 Caller Canada.

1:22:37 Adam Where?

1:22:38 Caller Well, Windsor, Ontario, right across from Detroit. Okay.

1:22:45 Adam So what's up? Why are you going to be on our show?

1:22:47 Caller Well, I'm a film director and I'm going to make it there.

1:22:50 Adam Okay, do it, but do it in three and a half years when the contract's up and we're long gone.

1:22:53 Drew What'd you play? What's up, Don?

1:22:55 Adam I have Rackman interviewing.

1:22:58 Caller Well, my girlfriend comes too fast.

1:23:01 Drew Yeah.

1:23:01 Caller And then-

1:23:02 Drew What does that mean exactly?

1:23:04 Caller Well-

1:23:05 Drew It's not a concept I'm familiar with in the female.

1:23:07 Caller We have a lot of-

1:23:07 Adam I didn't even know they came.

1:23:09 Caller We have a lot of foreplay and she'll come when we're having foreplay. And then when we have intercourse, she'll come once more and then I haven't come yet. And it's been like 15 minutes or so. And then I'll want to have her keep on going. And she'll want to kick out on me. And I got to really kind of try and convince her to keep on in it.

1:23:39 Adam And maybe because she becomes too sensitive after she has a couple of orgasms.

1:23:45 Caller Maybe. Yeah.

1:23:46 Drew She doesn't complain about being too sensitive.

1:23:48 Caller No.

1:23:50 Drew She's just bored. She's tired.

1:23:51 Caller Yeah. I feel like she wants me to pull out and and just.

1:23:58 Caller Boring.

1:23:59 Adam All right.

1:23:59 Caller All right.

1:24:00 Adam But listen, be honest. If Donald was in you, you'd want him out too, wouldn't you? How badly would you want Donald out of you?

1:24:09 Caller Hold still. Hold still.

1:24:12 Caller What was that?

1:24:13 Adam I think I was raving one of the guests.

1:24:16 Drew Who was it?

1:24:17 Adam It was Andy Dick.

1:24:18 Drew Oh, my God.

1:24:19 Adam Remember when I raped him during the commercial and the Anderson Rand tape? Andy Dick in the hizzy.

1:24:25 Drew Well, listen, Donald needs to hone his craft.

1:24:28 Adam Yeah, whatever it is.

1:24:29 Drew Maybe not let her have an orgasm during the foreplay.

1:24:33 Adam I'll tell you, if you toy with a woman, if you bring her right up to that plateau of ecstasy and then stop right at the last moment and sort of, you know, what you got to do is you got to work her like a slot machine so she pays off when the time is right, not when you're heading over to the Keno chick to buy a pack of butts.

1:24:53 Drew Somebody else steps in.

1:24:54 Adam And some fat guy from Arkansas steps in and feeds a nickel in and she pays. That's what I'm saying. Massage her literally and figuratively to the point but don't bring her past that point. Don't let her have that orgasm at the beginning. That's why they call it foreplay.

1:25:09 Drew And then maybe he needs more foreplay.

1:25:12 Adam That's right. All right, we'll take a break. Hey, this is my theme song. This is what's flaring when I come into the restaurant. And I do that thing where I got the jacket slung over my shoulder, Drew, and I'm holding it with one finger.

1:25:33 Drew Nice.

1:25:33 Adam Remember that move? You guys don't remember that move. That was a move that used to mean a guy had it going on.

1:25:39 Drew A leather members only jacket.

1:25:42 Adam Well, not leather.

1:25:43 Drew Well, simulated leather.

1:25:44 Adam Yeah, it was sort of a salmon color, members only simulated leather jacket. I used to have that sling net baby over my shoulder. Yeah.

1:25:53 I got a new theme for you.

1:25:54 Adam Oh, good. New theme. New theme.

1:25:56 Caller Isn't there any positive approach to this business of sex education?

1:25:59 Caller How can a guy be normal and go and do a thing like that to himself?

1:27:13 Adam Drew, this is Tammy and Cindy. You guys know Drew. I'm going to go to the bar.

1:27:18 Caller All right.

1:27:37 Adam Oh, it's half over? Jesus. All right, now break it down.

1:27:43 Caller Don't they have to break it down at some point?

1:27:49 Adam Now break it down. Here's where I go into the robot.

1:28:07 Caller It was impossible to keep people from doing it.

1:28:09 Caller Laws didn't work.

1:28:11 Drew I gotta know where this came from.

1:28:12 Adam Laws didn't work.

1:28:13 Caller I gotta know where this came from....once a day may not be too much. Depending on your situation, there is no wrong way to masturbate.

1:28:21 Drew Adam? Yeah, once a day, see?

1:28:26 Caller Once a day.

1:28:28 Adam But that's once during the daytime, and then you get a couple more off at night, right?

1:28:32 Drew He didn't mention night, he didn't mention night.

1:28:34 Adam Yeah, but they say once a day, they mean while it's light out. Yeah, break it down.

1:28:51 Caller As long as you don't cause pain.

1:28:55 Adam Who does?

1:28:55 Drew Many health specialists. We have to open our show with this every night. You know, we have to.

1:29:06 Adam I just say we put it on a loop and go home. Alright, I'm gonna start, I'm gonna start beating the whole song. Okay, alright.

1:29:21 Drew Did Dooley do this?

1:29:23 Adam This is what our show sounds like. Break it down.

1:29:41 Caller Wow.

1:29:43 Adam How good would it be to listen to that when you're really high? That would sound great.

1:29:48 Caller Many people just didn't.

1:29:50 Adam That's true. The majority of our audience.

1:29:52 Drew Our show needs to open with that rap.

1:29:54 Adam Yeah, except for we need the extended dance version so we can just hang out in the hall. Now listen, I want to say hi to Shannon, who's been on hold for 93 and a half minutes. Hi Shannon.

1:30:03 Caller Hi.

1:30:04 Adam You're 23.

1:30:05 Caller Yes.

1:30:06 Adam When your husband sleeps.

1:30:07 Caller No, my boyfriend.

1:30:08 Drew Boyfriend, right?

1:30:09 Adam He puts his hands all over your breast.

1:30:11 Caller Yes.

1:30:12 Drew While he's sleeping.

1:30:12 Caller Yes.

1:30:13 Adam All right. Not normal.

1:30:15 Drew Yeah. No big deal.

1:30:17 Caller It's normal that he has no recollection, recollect, recollect.

1:30:21 Drew It's not a sexual thing. It's a soothing thing. It's like grabbing a pillow or something.

1:30:25 Adam Fine.

1:30:25 Caller It's normal for him to grab my hand and put it on his penis in the middle of the night.

1:30:29 Drew Well, you didn't mention that.

1:30:31 Adam Yeah. Still not too bad. I mean, look, how old is he?

1:30:34 Caller 26.

1:30:36 Adam Guys, especially young guys, they get a good erection going in the middle of the night and they will grab on to whatever is nearest to them.

1:30:44 Drew Yeah, but it's always troubling me when the guys are in their sleep.

1:30:47 Caller And I'll put my hand away and he'll grab it and he'll put it back.

1:30:51 Drew In his sleep, allegedly?

1:30:52 Caller Yes.

1:30:52 Adam Well, wake him up.

1:30:53 Drew Do you have sex then with him?

1:30:56 Caller No.

1:30:56 Drew Well, wake him up.

1:30:57 Caller No.

1:30:58 Adam Why don't you wake him up and tell him then?

1:31:01 Drew Yeah, you don't have to give in to these things. He's not awake. So just pull away. That's all. That's all right. And if he is awake, he wants to wake up and you guys want to have an intimate moment, then that's fine too. I do worry about guys that get kind of aggressive in their sleep.

1:31:17 Adam Yeah, they haven't called it aggressive yet. All right. Well, why are you calling? You can't figure this one out, Shannon? No. Well, what's so difficult about it? The guy is a young guy, he's a horny guy, he's asleep, he's got a naked woman next to him, he gets an erection at three in the morning, his hands start wandering around, he feels some boobs, and now he wants some contact in the genital area. God knows what he's dreaming about. And if you don't want to do it, then you just put your hand back and if he grabs it again, you just wake him up and tell him to quit it.

1:31:45 Drew There you go.

1:31:46 Adam All right? All right.

1:31:47 Drew All right.

1:31:48 Adam All right.

1:31:49 Drew And then by the way, when I mentioned that I'm a little concerned about these guys because it is sort of an intrusive aggressive behavior, he's not aggressive.

1:31:55 Adam No, I know.

1:31:55 Drew All right. Well, then we have no one to talk about.

1:31:56 Adam Well, why are you calling? All right. Well, one last quick thing I want to tell. When you're driving, Shannon, and you come up to a place where other cars are coming in the other direction and there's a light and it's red, you got to put the brake on.

1:32:08 Drew Okay.

1:32:08 Adam Don't don't roll through. That red light means for once means you should stop. But then it changes colors. You get to go again. All right.

1:32:15 Drew Have a good time.

1:32:21 Adam All right. Well, there you go. Another eclectic episode of Loveline.

1:32:28 Drew It was an interesting mix, wasn't it?

1:32:29 Adam Yeah. Started off dumb and then it got stupid.

1:32:32 Drew We sort of went from the hee-haw to the rap versions of masturbation.

1:32:39 Adam Yeah. With some shades of brilliance in there, but not too many. Okay. So we'll take ourselves a little 22-hour break, and we'll be back tomorrow night. And until then, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. They're going to come to your house, and they're going to confiscate your steak knives! Because you may stab some- no, they're not!

1:33:02 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is hand-welcome to Stinggold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Wednesday, October 17, 2001