Episode 1000754886831

1:02 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. What, Drew?

1:25 Drew It's just nice to know that we've returned to our priorities here in Loveline. Worrying about how your TiVo functions and your car.

1:31 Adam I was trying to TiVo the Family Guy tonight, which is my favorite show, except for the TiVo schedule because of the tragedies all screwed up or the satellite schedule. And it reads that the Love Cruise is going to be on Fox, when in fact I know that the Family Guy is going to be on at 9.30.

1:50 Drew Ah, that's the second tragedy in 10 days.

1:54 Adam You know what's great about me? Even when I have cutting edge technology, I have to infuse some caveman into the operation of it, which is the reason I was almost late tonight, is because I always leave my house about 9.25. And I'm usually pushing pretty good to get here. But tonight, I had to stay until 9.31 because I had to actually see the family guy begin and then hit record. I could not trust it any other way. So here's the point. Technology only affects my life to a certain degree. I still have to actually stand there. Unacceptable.

2:32 Drew Yeah, it's like operating a VCR.

2:34 Adam Right, at a VCR for 14 years, I never figured out how to set the goddamn clock on the thing. I would actually just... If I was doing politically incorrect and it was gonna tape, you know, it was gonna air at midnight, and I wanted to watch myself when I got home at 12.30. Yeah. No, listen, Dick Watt. I didn't have to stay up. I'd come in here to do Love Line. I would begin the taping at 9.30 that evening, get a nice six-hour tape, and then when I got home at 12.30, 12.45, I could watch myself. Of course, I've had to fast forward through 7,000 Nissan commercials and the nightly news and whatever else. Drew Carey happened to, if he has a fifth or sixth show, he decided to do, I had to get through all that garbage just to get to Yours Truly.

3:20 Drew Nice.

3:20 Best Of CLL #1559 Thank you.

3:22 Adam Daphne? Yes?

3:24 Drew Daphne's a name that's up and around the last few years.

3:26 Adam No, I was just thinking. Daphne, there's once in a while, I can never think of them. You know them when you hear them. Popular names that nobody's named.

3:35 Drew Anymore, yeah.

3:36 Best Of CLL #1559 Yeah. Daphne.

3:39 Drew What's up, Daphne?

3:40 Adam One of the Scooby Doers?

3:42 Best Of CLL #1559 Yeah.

3:42 Adam Go ahead, Daphne.

3:44 Well, how are y'all doing?

3:45 Adam Yeah, good time. So what's up?

3:47 Drew Actually, I'm not doing... I think I'm getting finally depressed from the post-traumatic stress.

3:50 Oh, true.

3:51 Drew I am finally. Yes, it is true.

3:55 Can I go ahead now?

3:55 Drew Yeah, you may.

3:56 Okay.

3:57 Adam Sorry, Drew suffered for eight seconds. Sorry, Daphne. Go ahead.

4:01 All right.

4:01 Well, the way that I masturbate...

4:03 Adam Hold on a second.

4:04 Drew Hold on, Daphne.

4:06 Adam No, you know what drives me nuts? Here's the problem. Here's why we should never talk to the people who call. Just don't talk to them. Let them get that question out because they call up and they go, how are you all doing? I go, good. They go, how are you doing tonight? I go, good. What's the question? They go, well, I just... Then Drew pipes up and says, I've been a little depressed. Then the caller goes, could I talk?

4:32 Drew I know.

4:32 Adam Do you know what I mean?

4:33 Drew Yeah, they don't really want to know.

4:34 Adam It's like playing handball against the curtains. No, I've given you a couple of opportunities to spit the question out. Now, you stopped and asked, Drew spoke and now there's confusion. So here we go with the question.

4:46 Okay. The way that I masturbate when having sex, sex is not as gratifying as masturbation.

4:53 Adam Yeah. It's good. It's just not the real thing that sex, right?

4:56 Well, no. When I masturbate, there's no penetration.

5:00 It's totally not at all.

5:03 Drew Once again, Adam, don't speak to the callers.

5:05 Best Of CLL #1559 Right.

5:05 Adam It's clitoral, right?

5:07 Yes.

5:08 Best Of CLL #1559 Yeah.

5:08 Adam So you need some of that in your sexing. Do you have a boyfriend?

5:13 Yes.

5:13 Adam Does he go down on you?

5:15 Not often.

5:17 Drew Not often or not often enough?

5:19 Not often.

5:21 Adam How old is he?

5:23 Twenty.

5:24 Adam Is he not into that stuff?

5:26 Just rather have sex than regular sex than oral sex.

5:30 Drew You would? Yes. That's you. Okay. Yeah.

5:33 Adam But here's the deal. The intercourse is like the starting pitcher and then the relief pitcher. The guy who comes in, the finisher. The guy comes in and mops up. That's the oral sex. That gets you the wind.

5:51 Caller Okay.

5:51 Adam That wind, I think I said. That gets you the wind at the end of the game. So you have the intercourse for 20 minutes, a half hour, then a little oral sex and orgasm, and you both can get back to the business of watching television.

6:04 Caller Well, it's not that I'm having trouble orgasming during sex.

6:07 It's just not the same. It's not.

6:09 Adam It's not the same thing.

6:11 Drew Can you do whatever you do with the pillow with the guy?

6:14 Adam Pillow? What does she do with the pillow?

6:16 Drew Didn't she say she masturbates with the pillow?

6:17 Adam No, you're just reading it off the screen. Drew, you read the screen. That's an unfair advantage over me.

6:22 Sorry.

6:23 Adam What do you do with the pillow?

6:25 Do I really have to tell you?

6:27 Adam Yeah, you do.

6:29 Caller I don't know how to put it into words.

6:31 I mean, it's just kind of make love to it. Emotion.

6:35 Yeah.

6:36 Adam You get on that pillow. You hump that pillow.

6:38 Yeah.

6:39 Adam I haven't met too many women that do this.

6:42 Drew Not in the human species.

6:44 Adam What are you doing for a living there, Daphne?

6:46 I'm a waitress.

6:48 Adam All right. No kids, right?

6:50 No.

6:51 Adam Good. Be careful. You don't want to get pregnant, right?

6:54 I'm very careful.

6:55 Adam You don't want to have a little brood of pillow humpers. Okay.

7:00 Drew Why can't you recreate whatever she did with the pillow with the guy?

7:03 Adam I guess she could. I mean, all a guy is is a pillow with hair on it, really. That's what my mom always told me. But here's the deal, and here's why I don't feel real sorry for Daphne. She's having the clitoral orgasms when she's on her own.

7:18 Drew She's having vaginal.

7:18 Adam She's having the vaginal orgasms, which are marginally less stimulating to her. But either way, she's way ahead on the scale.

7:26 Drew Yeah, the orgasm.

7:27 Adam Yeah, on the orgasm dance card. Hers is full. Amber?

7:31 Hello.

7:31 Adam Hey, you're 20. What's up, sweet cheeks?

7:35 OK. I was wondering, with the IUDs, why doesn't Dr. Drew favor them?

7:41 Drew Well, you know what? I think it's a function of the history of the IUD in the years I've been training and practicing, in that there are some ones out now that are better and that may be safe, but I've seen so many disasters in my years working with young people, that it's really a hard thing for me to start recommending for someone who has not had children. So it's OK. There are some good ones out there now that look like they're going to be safe, but I remember when I was saying that before we found out they weren't. So it's hard for me to come all the way around and start really advocating them.

8:13 What do you mean by safe? What kind of disaster?

8:16 Drew They were substantially increasing the risk of pelvic inflammatory disease, tubal infections, that sort of thing, and they dramatically increased it to infertility.

8:26 Oh, I don't mind that. I don't want kids.

8:28 Drew All right, well, then don't worry about it. But IUD, there are some versions of the IUD out now that look pretty safe.

8:34 Adam You're 20. You never want kids?

8:36 Caller No. Too many problems. I can't stand it when they cry. I want to wrap my fingers around their throat and choke.

8:44 Drew Nice. Yeah.

8:46 Caller I'm not the motherly type. I never have.

8:48 Drew No. Yeah. Good.

8:49 Caller Sorry. Okay.

8:50 Adam Too bad. I'll bet your mother wasn't the motherly type either.

8:54 Caller My mother died when I was seven.

8:57 Adam What happened?

8:59 Caller Apparently, she had a blood clot hanging from her heart on a string. One day when her, my father, and a couple of their friends went out for a walk, it just flung over into the blood passageway of her heart that surprised her body with blood killed. Our doctors had no idea that she even had this.

9:16 Drew So, is an atrial mixoma, is that what she had?

9:19 Caller I don't know.

9:19 Adam How's your dad? Do you like him?

9:22 Caller He's an alcoholic.

9:23 Adam Oh, okay.

9:24 Caller I've never connected well. I've had a very, very, very difficult, difficult life.

9:29 Drew We get that. We get that.

9:30 Adam Yeah. All right. Hey, listen, Amber, I'm sorry you had a difficult life, and I'd like to use you as an example for other folks that have had a difficult life, which is-

9:41 Drew Don't have kids.

9:42 Adam You are not going to make up your life through having a kid of your own. I know it feels like you are, but you're not. You'll be the same miserable person that's ill-equipped to raise a child as your parents were. Yeah. All you're going to do is perpetuate this. You'll now have another generation of screwed up siblings.

10:01 Drew Maybe we can make Amber like a poster child, sort of a PSA.

10:08 Adam Yeah.

10:09 Drew Your body is meant for a lot of things.

10:11 Adam Yeah. But not having screwed up kids. I'm wondering what this disaster will do to it.

10:19 Drew To?

10:20 Adam Well, you know there's that sort of who could bring kids into this world kind of mentality? There is that feeling, yeah. Which only stops smart people from having kids, unfortunately. I like to keep an eye on the SAT scores about that. 18 years from today. See how that works out.

10:38 Drew I think it's going to be very interesting because for that first week, people that were sort of somatic and or depressed or anxious kind of got their ass together a little bit. You know, people got it together. And now I think this sort of lingering phase is people getting worse than they were before the event.

10:54 Adam Well, let me give you this observation. Actually, I'm making it up. I haven't really observed it, but I do observe it in you. The people who are sort of wandering around a little bit lost, a little bit depressed, and that was sort of their general state.

11:10 Drew Drew, be specific. Drew, your general state.

11:14 Adam No, no, no, no. I'm talking about, I think your average schmo is sort of pulling himself together a little bit here. And rising to the occasion.

11:24 Drew I agree.

11:24 Adam And the six and seven figure income, jet setter, two-pager wearing cell phone on one ear, and secretary dictating into the other ear, guys like yourself are the guys who are stopping and getting a little depressed and saying, it was all about the deal, and it was all about hustling to the next gig, and your life was so exciting, so stimulating, and so fast-paced, that you actually have to pause for a second, and when people who are running constantly pause, they get depressed.

12:01 Drew I think it's a little more complicated than that. I think ultimately you're right, and that is that I always found meaning in my work. That I could always rely on my work to give me meaning. You know what I mean? Make me feel good. Now, it doesn't have any meaning. Nothing has meaning.

12:14 Adam But you don't-

12:15 Drew You know what I mean? It's all flat. So I stop, and then that makes it worse.

12:18 Adam You have created a life that doesn't let you stop and think too much. Yeah. Because there's always a page to return. There's alarm going off and there's a flight to catch and there's a lot of running in your life. I think you've been probably doing a lot of reflecting and not so much running over the last few days. Folks that sit around and reflect all day, I think are less depressed. They sit and reflect anyway. Right.

12:44 Drew That's what you mean.

12:45 Adam You got a lot of distraction and a lot of movement. You're like a shark that's constantly swimming forward. When you stop swimming, it starts to feel like you're dying. You've had to stop and think. Join the rest of us, buddy. Where do you start smoking weed and wearing sweatpants?

13:01 Drew Going to golfing on Monday afternoons?

13:03 Adam Going golfing and getting loaded in the afternoon. That's when you do your thinking. Kind of thinking you do. I bet I could bang that chick who works in the clubhouse.

13:12 Drew One of the fifth hole?

13:13 Adam Yeah.

13:13 Drew Jennifer?

13:15 Adam I have a girlfriend. Mike? We're very much in love. Mike?

13:20 Yeah.

13:20 Adam You're 20?

13:21 Caller Yes, I am.

13:22 Adam What's up?

13:22 Caller How's it going? Well, yeah. I guess a small question first. Is it true that it takes 12 hours for cocaine to leave your system?

13:32 Drew If you're doing a lot of it, I suppose. Yeah, yeah, about right.

13:34 Caller OK. I don't know.

13:35 Drew It's pretty fast, usually. It could be up. I've seen it's a little faster or slower, but around 12 hours.

13:41 Caller OK. All right. But yeah, it's no problem. I haven't done coke for like three months. But no, the thing is, I was in college, you know, and in February I kind of got into coke. And I'd never done anything really that serious up until then, you know, like drinking. I'd been drinking, you know, college. But you know, I got into coke in February. And then, you know, it just started building up until, you know, June, I guess, when I got home from school.

14:10 Drew Do you have a question, Mike?

14:11 Caller Yeah. My question is that, well, it's not on record that I've ever done coke. It's not like on anybody's record, you know.

14:20 Drew Adam, check your records.

14:21 Adam Hold on. Let me check my database. Things have been pretty backed up since the tragedy. Hold on a second. Mike, Mike from New Jersey. Mike, college is tip at bat.

14:31 Best Of CLL #1559 Jack's off four days, four times a day.

14:36 Drew Four times a week or four times a day?

14:37 Best Of CLL #1559 Four times a day. Oh, my God.

14:39 Adam No, no coke on it.

14:41 Best Of CLL #1559 No coke.

14:42 Caller Yeah. Actually, in like three hours, I'm headed over to a medical for the Marine Corps. Right. I was in college. I was in ROTC. After I gave it up, after I let it all out. Mike. Yeah.

14:58 Drew You're going for a medical at four in the morning?

15:00 Caller Well, I got to drive to the recruiter's office, and he's going to drive me to Fort Hamilton. All right.

15:06 Adam When did you do Coke last?

15:09 Caller June.

15:10 Drew All right. Don't worry about it.

15:11 Adam Good. Semper Fi. Hurrah.

15:13 Hurrah. Hurrah.

15:15 Adam Hurrah.

15:17 Drew Semper Fi. Motivate. We need more from those guys. Why can't they come back and visit us, Ann?

15:24 Adam I'd like to get those guys on here.

15:25 Drew Ann.

15:25 Adam Get the nation fired up.

15:26 Drew We got to get the drill sergeants back here. The boot camp guys make us feel better.

15:32 Adam Yeah.

15:32 You got another question, Widow?

15:37 Push, push, push, you nasty thing.

15:41 Drew I feel better.

15:42 Adam They may be shipping off somewhere. I know. I know. Jennifer?

15:45 Yes.

15:46 Adam You're 19.

15:47 Caller What's up? Well, I've been dating this guy for about two, two and a half months, and here today, he came by and he told me, he's been telling me, he's been having to tell me a secret, and he wouldn't tell me. He told me that he's married and there's a little attachment involved in this marriage.

16:05 Drew Kids?

16:05 Caller Yes.

16:07 Drew Does that qualify as a secret?

16:10 Caller Well, when we met, I asked him, I kind of had a feeling because it was a car seat in the back of his truck, and I asked him, he's like, no.

16:16 Drew Oh my God, Jennifer.

16:17 Adam And there's a kid in it.

16:19 Caller Yeah.

16:19 Drew What are you thinking?

16:20 Caller He never had a ring, he never once, he never called when we were together.

16:25 Drew How old is this guy?

16:26 Caller 24.

16:27 Drew Oh, what an idiot.

16:28 Adam Where did you meet him at work?

16:29 Caller Huh?

16:30 Adam Where did you meet him?

16:31 Caller I met him at my cousin's wedding. And he was a bartender and he's a cop and-

16:38 Caller Who?

16:39 Caller Yeah.

16:40 Adam You know, it's funny, I was just thinking of him telling her, I got a secret, there's something we got to talk about. I'll tell you, my policy now in a relationship is-

16:49 Drew Oh, Christ, no.

16:50 Adam No, just break up.

16:51 Drew Yeah.

16:51 Adam Just break up. Look, I didn't want to hear it. I'm leaving. Don't even bother.

16:54 Caller Well, yeah, that's what I keep telling him, and he says he's going to get a divorce and everything, but I don't know if I should believe what he says.

17:00 Drew Tell him when he can show you divorce papers, then you're back. I promise you, there will be no divorce papers. If there are, great, then you're back.

17:10 Adam Cop and part-time bartender.

17:13 Drew Good times.

17:14 Adam He's a cop.

17:15 Caller Where I live, it's a small town, and a lot of cops do a lot of community work, and they don't get paid much.

17:22 Adam It's nice when they give back to the community.

17:24 Drew It says Austin, Texas on our board here. Is that where you are?

17:28 Caller Yes.

17:29 Drew That's not a small town.

17:30 Caller Well, no, but there's parts in small towns. I went in my town whenever I met him.

17:36 Adam You're in a neighboring town.

17:38 Caller Yeah.

17:38 Drew Where does he work?

17:40 Caller He works for Austin.

17:43 Drew Yeah, it's a big town. Jennifer, your denial is massive on all fronts.

17:47 Adam I was picturing Barney Five heading down to see Goober, Aunt B, baking him a pie.

17:55 Caller Hey, Goob.

17:56 Adam How you doing over here? Can I see your penis? You know that Goober had to be feeling up, Floyd, I think Floyd the Barber. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

18:12 Drew Adam? That is funny. Only to you and me.

18:14 Adam Oh, there's got to be someone else listening who thinks Floyd the Barber is funny.

18:19 Best Of CLL #1559 Kat?

18:21 Drew Kat? Kat from Riverside.

18:24 Caller Um, yeah.

18:25 Drew There you are. What's up?

18:26 Caller My question is, I want to know if you can lose your virginity from being finger to heart.

18:33 Drew Well, what is lose your virginity?

18:35 Adam Which finger? It makes a difference.

18:37 Drew Losing a virginity means-

18:38 Adam Pinky, no. Thumb, forefinger, yes.

18:41 Drew Again, losing virginity means a penis is inserted into your vagina. So I guess if the fingers are holding a penis-

18:48 Adam Were they holding a detached penis?

18:51 Drew Detachable.

18:52 No. See, the question isn't mine.

18:54 Caller See, a friend of mine had this little thing where her boyfriend was fingering her and then something happened and it hurt down there and it started bleeding. And so she's freaking out now and she wants to know what's going on.

19:04 Drew Well, I guess you can rupture a hymen, but that doesn't make you not a virgin.

19:07 Caller So she's still a virgin?

19:09 Drew Did she have a penis put in her?

19:10 No.

19:11 Drew Okay.

19:12 All right.

19:12 Caller That's all I wanted to know.

19:14 Adam Well, let's put it this way. Suppose she was riding a horse, it bucked her. And she landed on that...

19:24 Caller The horn.

19:24 Adam The horn there, and it ruptured her hymen. Would she still be a virgin? Not according to your logic, because she broke her hymen, right?

19:33 Drew Yeah.

19:34 Adam Okay.

19:35 Drew I don't know. That's true. You don't know.

19:37 Adam You got to move out of Riverside. You understand?

19:41 Drew At least work at that Mission Inn. That's a nice place.

19:43 It is?

19:44 Caller All right.

19:45 Adam All right, Kat. She's still a virgin.

19:47 Caller All right.

19:47 Thank you.

19:48 Adam I give her another three weeks, by the way. And you, hey, listen, Kat, you're a little smarter than she is, right?

19:55 Drew More assertive.

19:56 A little.

19:57 Adam A little? A lot? You're a little smarter than she is. Not that she's smart. I mean, she's kind of dumb and you're medium, right?

20:06 Yeah.

20:06 Adam Okay. Here's what I'm saying. You do not let her get pregnant.

20:10 Caller Oh, no, I won't.

20:12 Adam And you don't get pregnant either, right?

20:14 Caller Of course not.

20:15 Adam All right. You got to use protection, right?

20:17 Caller Yeah.

20:18 Adam You got a boyfriend?

20:19 Caller Yeah, but I'm not going to have sex unless I'm on the pill.

20:22 Adam That's right. There you go. Good times. We're going to send you out of windbreaker. All right, Drew.

20:27 Drew We had to cut back. Just mugs now.

20:30 Adam Would you? Oh, we're not saying windbreakers. Drew.

20:33 Drew Yeah.

20:34 Adam The over under on you killing yourself if you had to live somewhere, Bakersfield or Riverside? Oh, the over under on Bakersfield for me is 11 days.

20:49 Drew Before you do it?

20:50 Adam Yeah, that's the over under. Yeah. That's 50-50 money.

20:53 Drew Yeah, it's about 14 to Riverside.

20:55 Adam 14. I'd say it'd be 14. 13-14, Riverside. Should we alert Riverside on the good news?

21:01 Yeah.

21:04 Adam All right. So 14 days, Riverside, and 11 days back.

21:09 Drew Summer might drop down to 14. Oh, during the summer. Yeah.

21:12 Adam Dave? Dave? You're 34. What's up?

21:18 Caller I just need some advice on my marriage.

21:20 Adam All right.

21:22 Caller I've been married for nine years, have three kids, one came with the marriage. Lately, she's been really negative towards me. I gave up a job that I'm over the road truck driver. I gave up being an over-the-road truck driver for her, which was making a pretty substantial amount of money doing that.

21:42 Drew What has over the road been?

21:44 Caller Where I leave state and spend a week or two out and then come back.

21:50 Drew What she wants you to do in one night or is that kind of thing? Yeah.

21:52 Caller She wanted me more locally. The kids were getting into sports and stuff like that. So I felt obligated to do the dad thing.

22:00 Drew Yeah. Not a bad instinct on her part, right?

22:04 Caller Right. I've been looking to come off the road anyway. But my problem is now that I'm home, she still can spend in the money because she's always had control of the money because I've been out on the road, of course. So she spends money and I can tell her that, look, I'm not making the same money that was out on the road. So she'll say something like, if you don't like that, get the hell out of here. You know, and, and, Oh, hold on.

22:33 Adam She sounds angry. Why is she angry?

22:36 Caller I have no idea.

22:37 Adam Well, that's the thing. That's the great thing about being a guy. You never know why. And I've done this a thousand times. You can't figure out why they're so angry, but they're angry and it's probably because you haven't been listening to something they've been trying to tell you.

22:50 Drew That and the degree of anger, among other things, suggest depression. That irritability.

22:56 Caller That could be.

22:58 Drew Is she drinking?

23:00 Caller No. We both don't. We're occasional drinkers.

23:06 Drew You really ought to have her looked into for a depression. That kind of irritability and difficult living anger, feelings of worthlessness, out of control, all that is depression.

23:15 Caller Plus, she doesn't like to be fondled. I've never seen her totally nude. My wife.

23:24 Drew So she has some history there, huh?

23:26 Caller Yeah. I mean, she doesn't like to be, you know.

23:29 Drew But I mean, she probably she's been mishandled at some time in her life, right?

23:33 Caller As far as I know, no.

23:34 Adam Well, how is she like her parents?

23:38 Caller Her mother died when we first got married, and then she has an ongoing relationship with her father.

23:43 Best Of CLL #1559 Yeah.

23:44 Adam Does she seem okay with him?

23:46 Best Of CLL #1559 Yeah.

23:46 Caller I mean, we get along great. She gets along great with him.

23:50 Adam Okay. But here's the deal. She has some energy. If you listen to this show, you'll know someone who doesn't want to let their husband of 10 years never seen them in the nude in the course of the relationship is a little strange. A woman who does not like to be touched or fondled or rubbed upon, there's something going on. She's angry, she's hostile.

24:12 Drew Oh yeah.

24:12 Adam For the sake of the kids and for your sake and for her sake.

24:16 Drew Get some help.

24:17 Adam Yeah. It's no big deal now.

24:20 Best Of CLL #1559 Don't touch me or I'll kill you.

24:23 Adam It can be, I know we haven't said this in a long time and I know it sounds trite but it's 2001, you can do this stuff, it's no big deal.

24:31 Drew That's right.

24:32 Adam Take care of yourself that way. When we come back, we're going to speak to Lila, she's 25. Do only white men have hairy asses? I think so, yeah.

24:44 Drew You've come to the right place.

24:46 Adam Well, white and I know what's speak of the devil type of thing but the Arab guys, I think, can have some hair on that ass too. There's certain dark skin, thanks, nationalities, but it ain't Mexican, it ain't Asian, it ain't black. But there's a Middle Eastern group that can have some hair on the ass.

25:08 Drew Okay, we'll talk about it.

25:09 Adam Yeah, we'll get into this and why? Because we have some very, very strong feelings about this.

25:14 Drew And experiences.

25:15 Adam And experiences after this.

25:19 Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

25:50 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there. All right. Let's hop back on the phones. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. I'll speak to, that's Lila, isn't it?

26:06 Drew Yeah.

26:07 Best Of CLL #1559 Lila.

26:08 Caller Hello.

26:09 Adam Hi.

26:09 Caller Hi.

26:10 Best Of CLL #1559 You're 25.

26:12 Caller Yeah.

26:12 Caller I was just wondering, there's a couple of different people in our office where we work.

26:18 Caller We were just wondering if the hairy asses, is that more of a white man's thing?

26:23 Best Of CLL #1559 Burden.

26:24 Drew I'm more curious how this conversation went down. Where do you work?

26:27 Adam They work with kids.

26:29 Drew Special Ed?

26:30 We work in an office on computers.

26:33 Caller But-

26:34 Drew You said lots of discussions about interesting things and-

26:37 Caller Well, where I work night shift, so yeah. But we were just talking about, like I'm married to Polynesian, she's married to a black man, and then we have some that are in relationships with Mexican men.

26:49 Adam All right. I would say, now hold on, let me rank the Polynesian, the black, and the Mexican ass.

26:56 Drew That's all way down the hair scale.

26:59 Adam Way down. I got to go Polynesian. Here's the thing about a black guy, mainly not a hairy culture, but you do see them.

27:09 Drew Yeah.

27:09 Adam They are out there. Polynesian, you don't see the hairy Polynesian guys. And Mexican can go hairy at times, too, but generally not. Probably about the same as black with the Mexicans. Give the black hair.

27:24 Drew Well, Polynesia wasn't even on our scale originally. We have to add them to our scale.

27:27 Adam We have to add the Polynesian, and that's going to take some time to add to our database. You have to forgive us, but we'll get that up on the website real soon. So, here's the, in the ass, the hair count on the ass. I'm going to go black is the least, no, sorry, black would be the most, Mexican second, Polynesian third, out of that grouping.

27:49 Drew Who already sit on the very base of the hair.

27:52 Adam Right, now whose ass is more barren, Polynesian or Asian? Tough, tough. I think I got to go Asian.

28:00 Drew Similar genetic heritage there.

28:02 Adam I got to go Asian. I got to believe there's a handful of Polynesians with hairy ass. But the Polynesians, you know they don't have a hairy ass, because they got that whole torch spinning thing, and no culture with hair on their ass would ever get in that tiki thing with the fire flying around. The guy's wearing a shammy, his balls are hanging out, he's got this fire going between his legs. No hairy cultures. I'd go up like a Roman candle.

28:27 Drew Oh, yeah, you'd be a torch.

28:28 Adam Be the end of the Corollas. We started spinning that flaming torch, and they're always going between the legs, you know? They lift the leg up, they're spinning it around.

28:35 Drew Now, you represent the Italian team, so clearly there's a strong contingent there.

28:39 Adam Yeah.

28:39 Drew You carry the flag, in fact, at the proceedings.

28:43 Adam That's right.

28:44 Drew Other nationalities have similar kinds of...

28:46 Adam Italian men, Armenian guys, good hairy guys. Believe it or not, just the Eastern European guys can be good and hairy. It's just they're blonder. The hair's fair. It's not as big a deal. I mean, if you take an ass that has a sprinkling of blonde hair on it, it is not going to pop like that black kinky Italian Armenian type hat.

29:11 Drew I see.

29:11 Adam You see what I'm saying? A lot of it is texture.

29:14 Drew Yeah, I understand.

29:14 Adam Texture.

29:15 Drew Of course, sir.

29:15 Caller All the ladies that are with white men, they say their men have hairy asses.

29:19 Drew That's the point.

29:20 Adam Thank you.

29:21 Drew We're actually breaking down which nationalities amongst the Caucasians have the more serious...

29:25 Adam Now, what's the nationality? You know, because there's nationalities within white men, obviously, within Caucasian. What's the nationality of the white guy?

29:33 Drew I don't know. The representatives at your proceedings.

29:36 Adam You don't know?

29:37 I don't know.

29:38 Adam You didn't ask that one, huh?

29:39 No.

29:40 Adam Well, you got to understand just like, you know, Mexican or black or Polynesian, white, white could mean a hundred different nationalities. You don't know if the guy's Italian or Irish or English, right?

29:51 Drew Finnish.

29:51 Adam Or Finnish or German.

29:53 Caller They all have hair on their asses.

29:54 Drew Finnish probably.

29:55 Adam No, that's, but see, that's not true. I mean.

29:57 Drew Scandinavians?

29:58 Adam No, Scandinavian guy's gonna be less likely to have a hairy ass when you compare him to like an Italian guy.

30:04 Drew Isn't it that the higher northern cold climates have the less fur?

30:08 Adam I'm looking into it. I got my people on it.

30:09 Drew Southern hot climates.

30:10 Adam All right.

30:11 Drew What is that?

30:11 Adam Lila. Yes. You need to find out what nationality the white guy is. That will help too.

30:18 Best Of CLL #1559 Why?

30:18 Drew So when she enters the program?

30:20 Best Of CLL #1559 I see.

30:21 Adam All right.

30:22 Caller Okay.

30:22 Adam All right. So you're married to which guy?

30:24 Caller The Polynesian.

30:25 Adam All right. So you're Lois.

30:27 Drew But over here, Adam, on the calf scale.

30:30 Adam The biggest calves, though. Huge calves. My theory with the Polynesian ass hairs, A, they burned it all off doing the crazy tiki torch dance between the legs, out on the beach for the tourists, and B, theory is, is their calves are so goddamn big that it actually stretched the hair that was supposed to be on their ass and put it on the back of the thighs.

30:54 Drew That's what happened.

30:54 Adam It pulled it down. I really should be like a biologist.

31:00 Drew Any students of communication, please pay close attention to those last six minutes.

31:05 Adam Kimberly?

31:06 Caller Hello?

31:06 Adam Year 20?

31:07 Caller Yes.

31:07 Adam What's up?

31:09 Caller First of all, for the guy that just called in with the problem with his wife, I was molested as a little girl. And as a result, I never told anybody, not a single soul. And as a result, I don't like for my top half to be touched. I guess that's why.

31:22 Drew That's what we were telling him, that something had happened to her that made her that way.

31:25 Caller So I've never, ever been totally new with a guy.

31:29 Drew And people that have those kinds of histories are at higher risk for depression.

31:32 Caller So yeah, you tell me about it. I know.

31:35 Adam But so when you were molested, you had your top half touched?

31:40 Caller Yeah, I had all of it.

31:41 Drew How old were you?

31:42 Caller It started when I was about two.

31:45 Adam Hold on a second. You had all of it touched, you said?

31:48 Caller Yeah, like my whole body.

31:49 Adam Right, right. I understand that. But you understand what I'm getting at is...

31:53 Drew You reserve the top half.

31:54 Adam You said you don't like your top half touched.

31:56 Caller No, it's weird. It's like I can deal with the bottom half, but I don't really have the greatest time having sex.

32:03 Drew You know what that is? I think people who are sexually abused around that age can really disconnect from their pelvis. I mean, it's like they don't feel anything.

32:11 Adam It's funny. Guys don't have a top half. We only have a bottom half. Have you ever broken yourself in the half? No, it's just the bottom.

32:18 Caller I didn't until I was about nine, but I was just letting him know it's probably what the problem is.

32:23 Drew Usually with that kind of abuse, you would be victimized again in your life, raped and that kind of thing.

32:28 Caller Yeah. Well, that's what I'm telling you now. About two weeks ago, I have a boyfriend that's very loving, he's very caring, he's been supportive throughout the whole thing. But about two weeks ago, this guy that I knew did attack me. He did rape me.

32:42 Best Of CLL #1559 Who raped you?

32:43 Caller Just this guy that I know. We worked together and I just, you know, me and my boyfriend were having problems and he just seemed like he'd be a friend that would be there and he was there at first and then he just, you know.

32:55 Adam Where was there, by the way?

32:57 Caller It was there for me, like there for me emotionally.

32:59 Adam Yeah, I know what you mean, but where was it?

33:01 Caller It was at his house.

33:02 Drew What were you doing there?

33:03 Caller We were just hanging out.

33:05 Drew Yeah.

33:06 Caller I know it was probably really stupid on me, but.

33:08 Adam Well, you know, and I know this sounds harsh, but having heard a lot of people on the show over the years, people who've had stuff happen to them when they were younger, like you did, their instincts are not so good.

33:25 Caller No.

33:25 Adam Later on in life, they trust the wrong people and go to the wrong places with them.

33:31 Caller Yeah, you're gonna make me cry. That's like so true.

33:33 Drew But then, this is not all your fault. Those people seem to know who you are. They find you.

33:39 Caller You would think all that your instincts might be better, but mine just starts so bad.

33:43 Drew No, it's all about reenacting the trauma. It's part of that is that when it happens to you, I mean, last week we all got a dose of a trauma. What we do in this phase, that kind of trauma is sort of numb up. It becomes like surreal, it's not happening. And unless we come to terms with the reality and our feelings about it, we tend to manage it in primitive kinds of ways. And one of the ways is to sort of convince yourself you deserved it. It puts you back in control of the situation. So you tend to reenact those traumas over and over again. You don't idealize people, you tend to find people who can deliver what you think about yourself.

34:16 Adam All right, so anyway, you work with this guy, you trusted this guy, you went to his house for comforting, and he ended up raping you.

34:24 Caller Yeah. Well, I told my boyfriend about it, of course, like right after it happened. And I had to, you know, so a few days later, we noticed, well, I noticed, I told my boyfriend that I was kind of having like this discharge. And I'm not a sexually active girl. You know, I've known very few people and it's not like, it's not thick or anything. And I don't have any kind of pelvic pain. And I don't have like, I'm not running a fever and it doesn't burn when I urinate. It's just kind of, I'll notice that my panties are wet.

34:51 Drew And is it smelly? Is it?

34:52 Oh, God, it's really gross.

34:54 Drew Yeah. So and you were tested, you said?

34:55 Caller Well, we went to the doctor. My boyfriend took me to the doctor.

34:59 Adam Why is this guy, man? I tell you, you better be good to this guy.

35:04 Oh, he's like, he's the best.

35:06 Adam I don't like my top half touched. He's, you know, he's dragging you around to the doctor with the discharge.

35:12 Caller He doesn't, he never, ever tries to touch my heart.

35:14 Adam This guy with alcohol. I worry about this. How old is this guy?

35:17 Caller Like my boyfriend?

35:18 Adam 12.

35:19 Caller He's 20. He's my age.

35:20 Adam Don't you? Either he's the world's greatest guy or if my hunch is correct, I don't trust him.

35:25 Drew He has alcoholic parents.

35:27 Caller No, his parents are perfect. No, we don't.

35:30 Adam You should never say the word perfect in front of Drew.

35:33 Caller I'm sorry.

35:33 Adam Okay. Well, listen, what about the guy who raped you? Did you bring charges against him?

35:38 Caller No. I'm not like, no.

35:40 Adam I know. But what? I mean-

35:42 Drew Kimberly, you're too good of a victim to do that.

35:43 Adam But here's the thing. You're calling. All right. Now, I don't want to be a prick, but you keep saying rape. I mean, you're not filing charges against a guy. You went over there.

35:54 Caller Well, I'm telling you why.

35:56 Adam What happened?

35:56 Caller Well, I came home and my immediate reaction was to take a shower. And my boyfriend works night shift. And he came here and he just wanted to go kill him and all this crazy stuff. And it didn't really sink in to me. Like, at first, I didn't really tell my boyfriend the whole story. It didn't really sink in to me what had happened to me. And the more and more I thought about it, I was like, oh my god, he really did rate me. And then we called, because I immediately quit work, because I couldn't work with him anymore, obviously. So my boyfriend called, was like calling.

36:28 Drew Oh, that's weird.

36:29 Caller And, oh, go ahead.

36:31 Adam But listen, what did the guy do? I mean, did he force sex on you? You told him to stop?

36:36 Caller Yeah.

36:37 Adam And he wouldn't stop?

36:39 Caller No.

36:39 Adam And you screamed and kicked?

36:41 Drew And he held a weapon to you or something?

36:43 Caller No, no weapon. I'm just, I'm kind of, I'm tall but I'm kind of thin, so.

36:48 Drew He got paralyzed.

36:49 Caller Yeah. And he's pretty strong.

36:51 Drew All right. And so?

36:51 Caller But anyways, he's in California now. Like, we called his house and we found out that he, like, knew this chick on the internet and he moved to California to be with her.

37:00 Drew That night?

37:02 Caller No, not that night. Like, right after my boyfriend, you know.

37:04 Drew All right. Yeah, but why didn't you get a forensic examination? All right. Listen, you'd have an infection, a bad smelling, thin discharge is most likely to be something called trichomonas. Your boyfriend has to be treated, too. They might want to treat you also for Gardnerella, which you can sometimes do that. These are very minor infections, but they do need to be treated.

37:20 Adam I don't know if you've driven in from Nevada or Oregon lately, but there's a big, big sign that says welcome rapists.

37:29 Drew That's nice.

37:30 Adam Now, we're trying to attract, you know, with a lot of the defense industry closing down and bases and military bases and whatnot, a lot of industry out here, a lot of people fleeing. We're running short on rapists here in California. After the riots, a lot of rapists went up north, a lot of other rapists headed south and toward to the east. So we're kind of short on rapists. So if you see those signs coming in, that's what we're talking about. Glad to have them.

37:59 Drew Most of the Southern Californians have fled. The rapists have fled to Seattle.

38:02 Adam Right. God willing. We'll take a break. We'll be back.

38:07 1-800-LOVE-191.

38:45 Adam Hey, y'all. Loveline. I'm Adam. It's Dr. Drew over there for our 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1.

38:51 Drew Oh, Adam, talking about my youth makes me feel invincible again.

38:55 Adam Good.

38:56 Drew Not so depressed anymore.

38:58 Adam Drew and I were just having a very lively conversation about-

39:02 Drew Stupidity.

39:02 Best Of CLL #1559 The old days and stupidity.

39:06 Yes.

39:07 Adam That's not Laura, right?

39:09 No, it's Laura.

39:10 Drew 23, what's up?

39:12 I was just listening to your conversation about hairy men, and Drew said that the Scandinavian men seem to be more hairless, and I had to call because my husband is Norwegian, and he is the hairiest man I've ever seen.

39:23 Adam Yeah.

39:23 Caller Except his butt.

39:25 His butt's bare.

39:26 Adam Yeah.

39:27 Drew That's got to be.

39:28 Adam Laura, I didn't want to cut Drew off when he was on a bit of a roll, but yes, I agree with you. The Scandinavian guys can be hairy, but it's fair hair, and it doesn't have the...

39:41 No, his hair is dark, dark, dark brown, but it's really, really soft. It's not coarse. But he's got tons of it, and it's very, very dark, but his skin's really pale, and his eyes are pale.

39:51 Drew Sasquatch is from the north somewhere.

39:54 Adam Yeah, that's true. You know the guys I like, the guys who have to shave their neck and then figure out where to stop, because their neck connects to their chest, right? And it's great when you see him at the beach or something, they have that ring, that white ring. It's like they're wearing a sweater, right? Because they've shaved a ring around their neck.

40:14 Yeah, he's the same way. And his hair goes down the back of his neck, and in the summertime when I shave his neck for him, they'll have a white spot and the rest of his body will be brown where the hair isn't.

40:25 Adam Yeah.

40:25 Yeah.

40:26 Adam It's a bitch, all that hair. But you know the thing, but no hair on the ass, and that's the thing that's strange about me, no hair on the back, not too much on the front, I mean just sort of average, maybe a little lighter than average on front, a good, none, not in all the usual places.

40:44 Drew You got the forearm thing going.

40:45 Adam I got the forearm thing going, but if people saw my ass, they would think you'd not be able to find my spine amongst the hair. You see what I'm saying? The hair, you think it'd be all over the, I'm showing Drew.

40:57 Drew You have zero on your shoulder.

40:58 Adam It'd be all over my back and shoulder kind of thing.

41:01 Drew But this is sort of your version of Centaur, you know?

41:05 Caller Centaur.

41:07 Drew Right? You have hooves too?

41:08 Adam Yeah, I have cloven hooves and Centaur bottom. Thank you. Matt?

41:16 Yeah.

41:16 Best Of CLL #1559 Thanks, Herc.

41:18 Adam What's up there, Matt? You're 18.

41:20 Caller Yeah, I was just, I was wondering why it is that females don't seem to have much of a sex drive.

41:26 Adam Oh, they do. They can.

41:28 Drew It's just different than yours.

41:29 Adam You're 18?

41:31 Caller Yeah.

41:31 Drew Yeah, it's different. They're not as directed.

41:34 Adam They're going to like you.

41:35 Drew Yeah, they're much more directed towards a relationship than sex. And if sex comes along, they're good with it. That's fine. But sex becomes more part of the experience of intimacy.

41:45 Caller Well, I get scared because I hear stories about people who get older, get married, and then 30 years later, the wives just don't want to have sex with them.

41:52 Drew 30 years later? No, no, that's when they want to have sex with you.

41:55 Adam It's the guys who don't want to have sex then.

41:57 Drew Yeah, the testosterone levels start going up, estrogen starts dropping a little bit, and yeah, later on is when things heat up a little bit for women, they find more specific satisfaction with sex.

42:07 Caller I don't suppose there's any way to differentiate who's gonna have more of a sex drive when they get older.

42:12 Drew You mean pick a particular woman that's...

42:15 Adam Polynesian men, because they have less hair in their ass, will have a stronger sex drive as they grow older because they'll not be weighted down by the hair on the ass. Hey, Matt, you're thinking way too much at 18. You're freaking yourself out. Just relax. All right. All right. You find... Listen, there's plenty of women that like sex at 18, but it is true, you're not gonna get that... You're not gonna find that energy at 18. I would say it's really at an all-time low at 18 for women.

42:50 Drew For women, yeah.

42:51 Adam It really is. I mean, even just that difference between 18 and like 25, 26, you got a shot. Do you know what I mean?

42:59 Drew Yeah.

42:59 Adam Now, here's the ones you get to have sex with when you're 18 as a male, the screwed up ones that are looking for daddy.

43:06 Drew Unless it's a girlfriend.

43:08 Adam All right. Blowjob's a blowjob. That's what Drew just wrote that down and slid it over to me. Josh?

43:13 Caller Oh, hey, what's up?

43:14 Adam Hey, you're 24. What's up?

43:15 Caller Oh, not much, basically. I go to law school in the evenings, and I don't know, I'm about halfway through with law school. I just feel like really jaded, man. I'm just like, you know, I hang around with these people that are just so freaking arrogant and stuck up, you know, bastards, that it's just kind of like, you know, I don't feel like I should be here.

43:36 Drew You mean law school or just your friends?

43:38 Caller No, just in law school. You know, I don't consider any of these people to be my friends. It's just kind of like, you know, they've screwed in my head so much that I can't seem to focus on the school portion of it.

43:48 Drew Who screwed with your head?

43:49 Caller Well, okay, like, I can't give them specific examples, but just like, you know, my classmates basically.

43:56 Drew I'm not following. I'm sorry, Josh.

43:58 Caller Well, it's kind of like, okay, they think so highly of themselves, you know, and-

44:02 Drew Because they're in law school.

44:03 Caller Because they're in law school, because they're going to be lawyers one day or because, you know, they're out there in the business world and they're making the good big bucks.

44:09 Drew I thought they're in law school.

44:10 Caller Well, you know, in law school, you got your day students who are just like the kids, and you got the evening students, and you got the master professionals that just come to law school to become even better professionals.

44:19 Adam Well, who wants you to be a lawyer, Josh?

44:22 Caller I want to be a lawyer, but I don't want to be in like an arrogant prick kind of lawyer. I just want to be like, you know.

44:26 Adam Well, I'm sorry. There's no such thing as a non-errogant prick type of lawyer.

44:30 Best Of CLL #1559 Hey, you're a prick.

44:32 Adam You got to think you know it all in order to be a lawyer.

44:35 Caller Yeah, I mean, obviously, but that doesn't mean like you have to be a bastard.

44:40 Adam No, but so what...

44:41 Drew You're getting close there, Josh.

44:42 Adam What kind of law are you interested in?

44:44 Caller Well, I do all kinds of... Well, I work in a law firm during the day, and we do a lot of bankruptcy stuff and other stuff like that.

44:50 Adam Is your dad a lawyer?

44:51 Caller No, my dad's an engineer.

44:52 Drew You see what Adam's going at is that you seem unhappy with what you're doing and who you're around.

44:57 Caller You know, I get some sense of that, but I think more than anything else, it's kind of like, I like what I'm doing because this is what I've always wanted to do. I've always wanted to argue. I've always wanted to be in a position.

45:08 Drew You know what I suspect? I just think you've got a little community of students there that maybe just timing wasn't right or maybe you'll find out that more lawyers are like this than you know. I don't know.

45:17 Caller Let me give you an example.

45:18 Drew They don't make you happy. The fact is, but you can still get a law degree and go do what you want to do with it and feel satisfied. This will be, you'll sort of look at it because this is serving your time.

45:26 Adam Josh, Josh, shut up for a second.

45:28 Quit complaining.

45:30 Adam Let me interject here. Yeah. There's, the law, the profession of law tracks a-holes. Okay?

45:38 Caller Yeah, I think I realized that.

45:39 Adam Arrogant pricks, that's what you get. Now, our business, the entertainment business, attracts stupid arrogant pricks. At least in law school, you got guys with some brain cells who are arrogant. We have really stupid guys who are arrogant, which is a horrible combination, and they're pricks, okay? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's right. Now, we get along fine, and here's what you got to do. You got to get your training, do your business, make your money, but don't hang out with these people, don't make a life with these people, and it's a work thing.

46:13 Caller Here's the problem, okay? The reason, one of the reasons why I hate them so much is because it seems like they have the power to exclude. It's kind of like, you know, my first year, we used to all go out drinking after class and stuff like that, have a good time. You know, I wasn't into it in the beginning because it wasn't very much of a drinker, and they were, and I used to watch these people make asses of themselves while they, you know, drank and they got drunk and everything like that. So I was like, you know what, let me get into it, let me kind of just like, you know, just hang out, hang loose and stuff like that. But the times that I went out with them and hang loose and had a good time and got drunk and got like stupid, you know, all that, for some reason they didn't want to get drunk and they just wanted to make, you know.

46:51 Drew This is either all about Josh, there's something there.

46:53 Adam Josh is, Josh got a nice streak of prick in him too, that he's got to take a look at.

46:58 Drew Yeah, different kind. But here's the old Josh, they're people too, and they try to be empathic and understand them, and don't sit and joke. Contempt is not a good thing.

47:06 Adam Look, idiot, they're pricks, don't hang out with them, Drew, seriously, we did Loveline, the TV show, for the four years. Yes. Did I ever see anybody outside of that studio ever?

47:16 Drew No, but they all thought you were the prick though.

47:18 Adam That's right, but that was fine, because I didn't want to hang out, right?

47:21 Drew Right, you didn't, no.

47:22 Adam There you go, went home, hung out with my idiots, who I used to pee on. There you go. Thank you, Josh needs to do the same. Bye bye. Hey, Loveline, y'all. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Sunday night, we're going to be dedicating the show to discussing the topic of tolerance, but it won't necessarily be a completely tolerant show. Right. They won't all be politically correct views. Right.

48:49 Drew I think we ought to completely explore the issues. You can start it off, Adam, with discussions about ass hair. That's clearly the direction you'd like to take it.

48:58 Adam I'd like to weave in a few Pollock jokes at the time.

49:01 Drew No, your dismay at them being less common than they used to.

49:05 Adam Well, ironically, the only Pollock joke I remember is the Pollock terrorist joke.

49:12 Drew Oh, how weird.

49:13 Adam You remember that one?

49:14 Drew No. Through the hand grenade?

49:16 Adam No, he tried to blow up the bus.

49:18 Drew Yeah.

49:19 Adam He burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe. That's good, right?

49:24 Drew That's good.

49:24 Adam I mean, it's okay. Some poor taste at this time, but that's the only Pollock joke I remember.

49:30 Drew I can remember in, like, 1962. Suddenly everything became PC. Or, remember about 64. We were not allowed to tell Pollock jokes. My family, my uncle suddenly went, no, it's Silly Billy from now on. Silly Billy? What did the Silly Billy do when...

49:46 Adam That doesn't work.

49:48 Drew Doesn't roll off the tongue quite as nice.

49:49 Adam Did you hear about the Silly Billy terrorist who tried to blow up the bus?

49:52 Drew When I first heard that, I was like, I was like, shakin. What?

49:56 Adam No, Silly Billy. You should have kicked your uncle right in the nuts for that Silly Billy. No. And you know, it's funny, you've talked to Polish people and you ask them who the, you know, the Polish Pollocks are, basically. They'll say like, they got their own. It's like the Hungarians or something.

50:14 Drew Right.

50:15 Adam That's what I'd like to do. I would really like to find out in the, in the, in, you know, when all the Pollock jokes were going on out here, like in the 70s, 80s.

50:26 Drew Who were they telling jokes about?

50:27 Adam I'd like to go to, I'd like to go to Poland and find out, like they go to Hungary, Yugoslavia.

50:31 Drew Well, no, you follow the food chain to the last one.

50:33 Adam That's right. I want to know who their, who their Pollocks are. Because they, everyone, every country's got their own. Shonda?

50:41 Caller Yeah.

50:41 Adam You're 18?

50:42 Caller Yeah.

50:43 Adam What's up?

50:45 Caller Got a problem.

50:46 Adam All righty.

50:47 Caller Um, I've been seeing a guy, which I'm really pretty serious about. We're talking about getting married for probably a little over a year now. And for some reason, he just all of a sudden has no sex drive.

51:01 Drew How old is he?

51:02 Caller He's 19.

51:03 Drew And does he take medication?

51:05 Caller No, he's not taking anything.

51:06 Drew Does he have any medical problems?

51:08 Caller None that I know of.

51:09 Drew Has he been working more than usual or sleeping less? Anything like that?

51:11 Caller Working more and sleeping less both.

51:13 Drew What does he do?

51:14 Caller He's been working for his dad. He hadn't been working there for a while. And he, um, he just now started working for his dad. So I'm not sure actually what he does.

51:24 Drew That's a female thing again.

51:27 Adam Hold on, hold on. He works for his dad.

51:31 Caller Yeah.

51:31 Adam That's your answer to what does he do for a living? That's as close as you can get to that answer?

51:36 Caller He's fixing to go into the Navy.

51:38 Adam He's what?

51:38 Caller He's fixing to go into the Navy and he's working for his dad until he leaves.

51:41 Drew He's fixing.

51:43 Adam You don't know if his dad owns a construction company or he runs a computer?

51:48 Caller His dad owns a club and his dad owns a place in Panama.

51:50 Caller I don't know.

51:51 Caller It's some crazy thing.

51:52 Drew A club?

51:53 Caller It's like a, I don't know, some kind of a business thing. Don't ask me.

51:58 Caller They don't tell me.

51:59 Drew Well, maybe that's something to do with why he's not interested in you anymore.

52:02 Caller No, it's not that. It's like he tells me he's tired.

52:05 Adam All right. But listen, just because I'm a jackass, he's working at a club?

52:11 Caller No, he doesn't work at a club. His dad owns more than one business. He doesn't work there.

52:15 Adam All right. So he goes into his dad's office.

52:17 Caller He's not cheating on me. It's nothing like that.

52:19 Adam No, I'm just curious.

52:20 Drew I'm going down that path.

52:21 Adam He goes into his dad's office every morning?

52:25 Caller Yeah.

52:26 Adam Yes or no?

52:27 Caller Yes.

52:27 Adam All right. Hold on. I just don't like her attitude. I don't like that she's so indignant that I want to know what this guy's doing. The reason we're asking because this guy's, when you start getting a little strung out, you get a little stressed out, you lose a little sleep, and you start putting in some serious hours, that's like the first thing that goes.

52:46 Drew Not the first thing.

52:48 Adam It's close to it. You want to, well, Drew, you're a passionate man, so that doesn't go for you. But for me, if I start getting strung out and I start getting tired, I get home, I want to chill. Like, I don't want any contact. I just want to watch TV for an hour and go to bed.

53:06 Drew There is that guy. There's a certain number of guys that really profoundly react that way. When they get a little stressed, they want to be like a bear. They want to be left alone. You know what I mean? They get irritable. Right.

53:16 Adam They're in a place, the phone's ringing, people are coming at them, and then they come home and they want to crack a beer and be left alone on the sofa. Trying to figure out what the guy did or what he was.

53:27 Drew What he does, A, is critical to assessing whether or not that could be the reason.

53:31 Adam B, no, it's not what he does that's critical, but is he putting in a 70 or 80 hour week, or is he putting in a 25 hour week?

53:40 Drew It's critical. But the other thing is, the fact that she has no idea what he does all day suggests something about their relationship.

53:47 Adam She's thinking about getting married to him.

53:49 Drew To a guy that doesn't know what he does, what he's doing.

53:51 Adam I'm just a prick, but I don't like the fact that she gets hostile when I start asking questions. Chandra?

53:57 Chandra.

53:58 Adam Alright, that's it. Now you're screwed. Hold on.

54:01 Drew You won't even want to come back to that one, no.

54:03 Adam I don't know why I'm mad at her. Here's what I'm trying to figure out. How many hours a week does this guy work?

54:10 Caller He probably works, you know, the normal, about eight hours a day.

54:14 Drew And he's not swinging a hammer, working in a quarry or something.

54:19 Caller It's a business, like he sits in an office.

54:22 Drew Or it's mail.

54:23 Adam Okay, so he's not working too hard.

54:26 Caller No, he's just, we only get to see each other on the weekends now.

54:28 Drew Why?

54:29 Caller Because he's living, like, farther away from me. And so he comes up and we spend the whole weekend together, usually every weekend.

54:37 Drew This doesn't feel or sound right to me. Something is wrong. Something is wrong.

54:42 Adam It seems like you should know, I don't know, more about him.

54:45 Drew Yeah, I should know how he spends his week. You should be in more contact with him. And he should be interested in you. He should be very interested in you after a week when he comes and sees you.

54:52 Caller That's what I'm curious about. It's like he treats me so much more like, you know, when he thinks I'm asleep, he just sits there and he rubs my hair and looks at me and he'll whisper that he loves me when he doesn't think I'm knowing. But it's like when it comes to the whole sex, he's just, like, he's tired. Like, it seems like he loves me so much more than he ever really seemed to before.

55:14 Drew Well, sometimes guys put on a big show and there's something wrong, you know, they feel guilty.

55:18 Adam Well, no, also guys too can have a woman, and Drew wouldn't know this because he's a passionate, passionate man, but sometimes a woman can go from a strange sex partner to love, you know, and it becomes a little, it becomes stranger depending on what the guy's love making habits are.

55:40 Drew No, the intimacy issues.

55:42 Adam If he's a guy who likes to just hump the bejesus out of somebody, it's hard to hump the bejesus out of your potential wife. You want to make love to her, but you're not a guy who makes love. Do you know what I'm saying? Is he a, is he a humper?

55:54 Caller Well, usually he just leaves me in charge.

55:58 Oh, he what?

55:59 Drew Leaves her in charge.

56:00 Caller Yeah.

56:01 So he doesn't initiate?

56:02 Adam He always did in the past too, huh?

56:04 Caller Not on occasion, I guess if I wanted him to, you know, but it was usually the me on top sort of thing.

56:10 Drew Well, that's fine. But do you initiate it also?

56:13 Caller Yeah. I mean, it looks like it's a mutual thing. And then until we're doing this and then he's just, he seems like he's kind of in another world. Like, he's not really, okay, he doesn't seem like he wants me.

56:26 Adam All right. I know. And you feel you feel insecure about it. I understand. I think just talk to him. Yeah, I know. Don't freak him out. But just talk to him. He's fixing to head into the Navy. He may be, oh, yeah, he may be reeling it in a little bit.

56:46 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot about that.

56:48 Adam I mean, if he's going to be shipping out and he may not be looking to get married.

56:53 Drew Yeah.

56:54 Adam He may be sort of winding it down.

56:56 Drew Just careful for these sort of desperation marriage and attempt to try to hold it together while he goes out to sea.

57:02 Adam But go ahead and talk to him. And while you're talking to him, ask him what kind of club his dad owns. And what he does at work. Kyle? Yeah. You're 15? Right. What's up? Hey, Adam. Hey. Love you, man. Love you, Kyle.

57:15 Caller Yeah.

57:15 Adam Love you, buddy.

57:16 Caller Hey. All right.

57:18 I got a question for Drew.

57:20 Caller Drew. Now, I know you're a passionate, passionate, passionate man.

57:23 Drew Just a second, Kyle. Somehow, a 15-year-old male could say that to me. I find it very disturbing.

57:28 Adam It is true, though. He is so passionate. Oh, I know.

57:31 Drew What the?

57:35 Caller I'm going to go. Are you serious?

57:36 Drew Yeah, Kyle, seriously. I know. Okay. Yeah. Now, are you a real doctor?

57:40 Caller You're just a love doctor.

57:42 Drew This is your Adam Corolla.

57:45 Adam All right, Kyle, please. You're gay. You have a question?

57:48 Best Of CLL #1559 I don't know.

57:48 Adam No, all right. You just want to say hi?

57:50 Best Of CLL #1559 Yeah.

57:50 Drew Have you called before?

57:51 Best Of CLL #1559 Yeah.

57:52 Drew Yeah, you've done imitations of Adam before, right? He's the guy who does the double, the ferret on double cappuccino, right?

57:57 Adam I don't know. Kyle, do you do an Adam Corolla impersonation? No, I don't know what he's talking about. All right. All right. Good times, buddy. Oh, yeah.

58:06 Drew He's doing... Good times.

58:08 Adam Or at least say good times.

58:09 Caller Okay.

58:09 Adam Oh, yeah.

58:10 Caller Good times.

58:10 Adam All right. Good. He gave the throwaway good times. I like that. Oh, my God. Tasha?

58:18 Caller Hello?

58:19 Adam You're 24?

58:20 Caller Right.

58:21 Adam I grew up with a chick named Tasha. We used to say Tasha's tushestini. I mean, we were young, you know, probably.

58:27 Drew That's when I was a bad dad.

58:29 Adam Go ahead there, Tasha.

58:31 Caller I'm really interested in the domination, submissive type of a sexual lifestyle.

58:36 Best Of CLL #1559 Good times.

58:38 And number one, I kind of wanted to get Dr. Drew's opinion on it.

58:43 Caller And the other thing is that this guy that I'm supposed to meet, who's really into it, and I wanted to get together with him and stuff.

58:56 We're supposed to meet like tomorrow, but he had some really far out type of domination ideas, which kind of freaked me out.

59:06 Caller I told him I really need to know him really well before doing that.

59:09 Drew What was it he wanted to do?

59:11 Caller Well, he was talking about building this box, this like steel box, and making it like soundproof, and like he'd put a hole through it, so I could like be able to breathe, but like tie me up in there, like handcuff me in there and stuff, and he'd like put a hose through there, so that I could still breathe and stuff. But I told him that kind of freaked me out a little bit.

59:38 Drew I'm not sure that's no longer domination, that's now murder.

59:43 Adam At a certain point, once he puts a cork in the air hole, it becomes murder, yes. He wants you in the box, though. He doesn't want to get in the box.

59:51 Caller Right. Well, he's more- he's a dominant one.

59:54 Drew And what would that do for you?

59:56 Adam Well, you get to be in a box with an air hole, bro. Use your brain.

1:00:00 Caller It just would make the submissive person just completely helpless.

1:00:06 Adam When does the- and by the way, if you're going to be submissive, let's get something done. Like how about you detail my van, bitch? You know what I mean? Like if I'm going to be the dominant one, that's what I'm doing. On the way to the van, you grab me a beer and go detail it. You know what I mean? Don't sit in a box.

1:00:24 Drew But why act out- why reenact the trauma of powerlessness over and over and over?

1:00:31 Caller Well, for me, I don't know. It just would turn me on to be-

1:00:35 Drew Powerless?

1:00:36 Caller Right.

1:00:37 Drew See, what I think that is is some kind of an arousal you had around the age of five that etches in that need for arousal later in life as a way of experiencing your sexuality. And powerlessness is actually a reenactment of the only way you know how to feel validated and in control again. You feel like you deserve it. You need this in order to give a validation of your sense of yourself as needing that powerlessness, causing that powerlessness, and being in the control of this idealized bigger than life other, which is all BS. And it's all driven by this arousal mechanism that gets etched into your brain when you're five years old.

1:01:13 Adam Don't get her to stop.

1:01:15 Drew I don't care if you do it.

1:01:17 Caller All domination submissive type, the lifestyle is...

1:01:23 Adam You're all screwed up, believe me. Believe you, me.

1:01:26 Drew But, I mean...

1:01:26 Caller In my everyday life, I'm a very assertive type of person.

1:01:30 Adam Fine, you're still screwed up. But look, here's the deal. And look, with the everyday life thing, you know how a lot of these serial killers get away with their serial killing for years and years and years, because their dads and their clowns and their citizens and their colleagues and stuff, yes, they have great everyday lives and then they go out and do horrific things on the weekends at night. This is the same thing with you people. Not that you're serial killers, but the fact that you get along every day is not a great excuse for your sanity.

1:01:57 Drew It's a fragmented piece of yourself that you keep walled off and disincorporated, disenfranchised from the rest of yourself.

1:02:03 Adam That being said, if you're not hurting anybody and it floats your boat, what the hell, but where did you meet this guy?

1:02:09 Drew I'm concerned this guy is actually going to harm you though. That's why I'm sort of going down that path with you.

1:02:13 Adam Where did you meet him?

1:02:15 Caller Well, I met him on like a talk line.

1:02:17 Drew Strike one.

1:02:19 Adam Right, and does he want you to come over to his apartment or something, his house?

1:02:23 Caller No, we're just supposed to meet tomorrow.

1:02:25 We're going to go out to dinner.

1:02:27 Drew What makes you think he's not a murderer?

1:02:28 Adam Where do you guys eat? Like medieval times or something? I mean, you can't just eat at TGI. Fridays, can you? I mean, you got to eat at a place that's got some leather and stuff in it, right? No. Okay, and do you think he's constructed this box already?

1:02:46 Caller No, he hasn't. He just says it's one of his ideas.

1:02:49 Caller He has a shop and he'd like to build it, but he hasn't built it already.

1:02:54 Adam And do you think there may be a love connection with this guy?

1:02:58 Caller No, no love at all.

1:02:59 Caller Just a sexual relationship, that's it.

1:03:02 Adam Okay. You a big gal, Tasha?

1:03:04 Caller No. No, not real big.

1:03:07 Caller I'm just like 140 pounds.

1:03:10 Best Of CLL #1559 I'll do the radio math here.

1:03:12 Adam 156. Here's the point. How's he going to get your big ass in that box? That's what I'm worried about. Well, he'll check your dimensions and build a box accordingly.

1:03:20 Drew He's going to leave it there for a few weeks.

1:03:21 Adam All right, Tasha, listen. Go out to dinner with the guy in a nice public place. But here's the deal. Don't get into any kind of situation where you're going back to his pad, having a few tall boys, and climbing into a box that he has control over. Do you understand?

1:03:38 Caller Right, but he's starting out.

1:03:41 Caller We'd probably go to his house.

1:03:44 Adam Right. Do you have any friends you can say, you know, here's where I'm going to be and I need you to call me at a certain time or something like that?

1:03:51 Drew God, I wouldn't even do that. Oh my God.

1:03:53 Adam Well, listen, why don't you tell your dad, listen, I'm going to this.

1:03:58 Caller My dad lives like very far away.

1:04:00 Caller I don't even talk to him, so.

1:04:02 Well, magic, she hates her dad.

1:04:03 Adam Here's what you do. Natasha, you say, listen, dad, I'm going to this guy I met on the internet. He's got this veal crate. I'm going to go in. Don't worry. There's an air hole just big enough so he can fit his penis through it and I'm going to be in there.

1:04:15 Drew When his penis is going through, I won't be able to breathe. There will be no oxygen.

1:04:18 Adam Right.

1:04:18 Caller Now I see there will be a hose in the box. I can bring you that.

1:04:21 Adam There will be two hoses in the box.

1:04:23 Drew He may be talking about his hose.

1:04:26 Adam Okay. Tasha, look, all I'm saying is it's risky behavior.

1:04:32 Drew It's insane.

1:04:34 Adam Okay, but I don't think you're going to talk her out of the behavior so let's be safe about it. You understand what I'm saying? Talk to your friends. Make sure they know where you are. Tell them, if you don't call them by a certain time that they're going to need to come by or call the authorities or whatever it is.

1:04:53 Drew Meantime she's dead.

1:04:55 Adam Well, yeah, but at least they can recover the body quickly. That's the important part. All right, listen, I don't know what to say to someone who meets a guy on the internet and wants to go climb into a sex box. I'd like to tell them not to do it.

1:05:07 Drew Yeah, well, I'll say it.

1:05:09 Adam Don't do it. And let me tell you something about you submissives and dominance and all these, you jackoffs. You guys are screwed up, screwed up as hell. Maybe the swingers are all screwed up. You're all screwed up. I know it's a lifestyle. I know you carry, you have jobs. I know you're not serial killers and you're not racist and it's a choice you're making and so on and so forth. You are royally screwed up. You're as effed up as the guys who were men trapped inside a woman's body or women trapped inside a man's body. You're as effed up as all these other idiots. Just look in the mirror, please. That's all I'm saying.

1:05:47 Drew When we had those dominatrixes in here, remember that?

1:05:49 Adam Yes.

1:05:49 Drew They were talking about one of their main recurrent customers, these guys who would dress up like ponies.

1:05:54 Adam A pony room.

1:05:54 Drew And pull the girls around on little.

1:05:57 Adam They had a room where you would be a pony and you would pull a little card around and all that.

1:06:04 Drew They'd hit him with a whip.

1:06:05 Adam Put a little crap bucket on you so you could pull them around the park.

1:06:09 Drew Oh my God. But that to me, you must be walking around in so much pain if that's the way you sort of express yourself and avoid that.

1:06:18 Adam I don't even think about that. I just want them to know how effed up they are. That's all. Alisa?

1:06:24 Caller Alisa.

1:06:25 Adam Alisa?

1:06:26 Caller Yeah.

1:06:26 Adam What's up?

1:06:27 Caller I was wondering, how do I get my parents to take me to therapy? Because I like cut myself.

1:06:35 Drew Do they know you're a cutter? Yeah.

1:06:36 Caller I've told them that. But they like, they're like...

1:06:39 Drew How about school? Go to the school?

1:06:41 Caller Well, I kind of go to like a small school.

1:06:45 Drew They must have somebody there.

1:06:47 Caller But like, I just, I don't want people like know, you know?

1:06:51 Drew Yeah, but they won't know. You'll be going confidentially to talk to someone at your school.

1:06:56 Caller Well, yeah. But I mean, who do I talk to? Because there's like counselors, but all they do is scheduling.

1:07:00 Drew Well, you must have some sort of mental health person there. Schools have that. I'm just asked to talk to that person, tell them what's going on. That's where you go.

1:07:08 Caller Yeah. Okay. But I also have another question.

1:07:10 Adam What do your parents do for a living?

1:07:13 Caller My mom, she's like a preschool teacher.

1:07:15 Drew Of course.

1:07:16 Caller And my dad, like, he's like a business man. He works for like a shipyard thing and he sits in a big office.

1:07:25 Drew What happened?

1:07:26 Adam Why is it his office or do you just break into a guy's office and he has a big office?

1:07:30 Drew Why are you so empty? What happened?

1:07:32 Caller Um, I just like, my parents are like really verbal abusive.

1:07:37 Drew About what?

1:07:38 Caller About everything, like, um, like mostly school, like, I don't know, about like this like super great sister and I guess I'm just not good enough for them, you know.

1:07:50 Drew So she's got the eating disorder and you cut.

1:07:52 Caller No, no, she's all my other family and they're all perfect.

1:07:56 Drew No, no, no.

1:07:58 Adam No, but look, the fact that you're 16 and that you actually want to get some therapy, it's a great impulse.

1:08:04 Caller Yeah, but I have like, like, okay, they're kind of like turned off from the whole therapy thing because like around February, I've been doing this for like a long time. And but like since February, and we went to and tried to find a therapist around February. But I mean, this guy, he like didn't really help us. I mean, he sat there and he listened. But he didn't like do anything. And then my parents like took me out of it because and I mean, it's like, hello. I mean, if you want some help, you got to stick in it for a little bit.

1:08:31 Drew That's right. But all they're going to do is sit there and listen. You'll be used to that because that's what they're doing.

1:08:36 Caller I wasn't objecting.

1:08:38 Adam It was like my dad. I know. But people don't understand that about a therapist. I had a therapist who actually had died four months earlier.

1:08:46 Drew No one noticed.

1:08:48 Adam I still continued and he continued billing. I don't know how that worked out. But I continued showing up. And eventually the stink got so bad that I went over and actually touched him on a suede. You know, where's the jacket with the suede sleeves on it? He fell over his maggot, eating his spine.

1:09:05 Drew Very nice image.

1:09:06 Adam But I got more out of that four months.

1:09:07 Drew You got the same, let's face it.

1:09:09 Adam I got about the same out of that four months.

1:09:12 Drew And not so much because your therapist was dead, because you continued talking about Dodger Scores.

1:09:16 Adam High school football, high school football is what I talk about.

1:09:19 Drew That's probably what killed him.

1:09:20 Adam Yeah, he willed himself dead. I started into a high school football store and he willed himself to death. All right, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Michael. He's 19 and the dominatrix thing, and he disagreed with Drew.

1:09:38 Drew No, he just wants to know what the dominatrix has talked about, how they felt about that issue when they came in here.

1:09:42 Adam The pony issue?

1:09:43 Drew Yeah.

1:09:44 Adam Okay, when we come back.

1:09:47 Caller Hello, is this Loveline?

1:09:49 Call 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

1:10:23 Adam Hey, y'all. Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Well, I'll tell you, Drew and I have not been going to the bathroom tonight.

1:10:35 Drew Right.

1:10:36 Adam And we've just been sitting in here, just basically yelling at each other during the entire commercial.

1:10:41 Drew Each time a brand new and unrelated topic.

1:10:44 Adam Yeah.

1:10:44 Drew Prescription medication, high school football.

1:10:47 Adam Yeah.

1:10:47 Drew I think we've been.

1:10:48 Adam Yeah, we really get into it.

1:10:49 Hey, if you guys clear me too, can I start recording some of this stuff?

1:10:52 Adam Yeah, start. Go ahead.

1:10:53 Drew Oh, yeah. Oh, we'd love to hear that.

1:10:56 Adam Yeah. Go ahead and record that.

1:10:58 Drew It would shame and embarrass us properly.

1:11:00 Adam Better show.

1:11:01 Drew I did it once, but it was so boring. I didn't do anything with it.

1:11:04 Adam Oh, really? Yeah. The last one was good. Michael?

1:11:08 Drew Yeah.

1:11:08 Adam You're 19?

1:11:09 Caller Yes, I am.

1:11:10 Adam Okay. So you want to know, we had the Dominatrix in here a few months back, right?

1:11:16 Caller I've come back from Vegas and I was able to get through on my cell phone, but the radio reception was crap.

1:11:20 Drew That night?

1:11:21 Caller That night I got my question off. I was the first caller, I think.

1:11:23 Drew That night?

1:11:24 Caller That night.

1:11:24 Drew Yeah.

1:11:25 Caller I got through and I got my question off and then the cell phone died.

1:11:28 Drew Oh.

1:11:29 Caller Well, Adam, you told me no whacking off for a month. I said, Adam, sorry, you're not my master. That got a laugh out of them.

1:11:35 Adam Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah, a little jargon, little Dominatrix jargon. Now, are you into this stuff, Michael?

1:11:42 Caller No, I just read some Star Trek sex erotica, which had that as its theme. I didn't really care much for it.

1:11:49 Drew What's your question?

1:11:50 Caller My question was, you know, the last caller, when she called in and she wanted to get into it, you were saying that, you know, all these people, they've just got some experience that happened when they were young, which, you know, skews them towards this.

1:12:03 Drew Yeah, it etches this arousal mechanism in their head and their brain.

1:12:07 Caller Okay. I always thought it was more of, you know, like CEOs, they're always in power. They can squish anyone under their thumb.

1:12:13 Drew Yeah, but there's a reason people need to build that kind of sense of self, which is all-powerful. It's a compensation for feeling little and out of control. And then they go out, and when their sexual and their arousal mechanisms are all geared into that powerlessness experience, so they gotta go feel that again in order to be aroused.

1:12:30 Caller I see. You are right, of being the cause, and I can see how you're saying that's more the effect.

1:12:35 Drew Yeah, yeah. It's more that they go together. They go together because of... You need to build yourself up to compensate for that feeling of being inadequate or less than or out of control.

1:12:45 Adam Right. That's what gets you the penthouse office.

1:12:48 Caller It wouldn't make sense unless everything was a cycle, because that's all the modern theories.

1:12:52 Adam But it is very true, and it's something I've always known, which is all the guys I've toiled out in the dirt with for all the years I had normal jobs, never for a second wanted to get in to be dominated. They wanted to dominate, because their life was being dominated. Right. You know, they were picking up someone's crap for a living and digging a ditch and all, you know, humping lumber. Their whole life sucked. Their idea of a good time was a bunch of hookers catering to them. You know what I'm saying?

1:13:25 Caller That's what I was saying. Yeah, it seemed like that they're in that lifestyle, all those experiences, you know, really made it that that's the start of it. So it didn't make sense to me when I was hearing this stuff about something happened when they were younger.

1:13:38 Adam Well, there's, I believe, and this may change from man to woman, too, quite a bit, Drew.

1:13:46 Drew Yeah.

1:13:47 Adam The experience.

1:13:48 Drew I'm listening.

1:13:49 Adam But here's, that's it. No, what I'm saying is the experience because a man and a woman's role is slightly different in this society, that a man might go through a different experience to arrive into this submissive place than a woman. Do you know what I'm saying?

1:14:09 Drew I just, based on the way the brain develops, it's all got to be some kind of arousal mechanism.

1:14:14 Adam I'm saying the CEO of the Fortune 500 company who pays a chick $200 an hour to stuff a pacifier in his mouth and beat his ass with a switch may have had a different experience than the woman who wants to be locked up in the veal crate and have the hose with the air hole in it.

1:14:34 Drew I agree.

1:14:35 Adam And by the way, let me explain something. If you're in a box that's airtight, you can just put a hole in it. You don't actually need the hose. The air does not have to be shipped in. You know what I'm saying? You don't need to run the hose out the window or anything. You can actually just leave it open. Just as much, as great a volume of air will get in. Mary Jane?

1:14:55 Caller Yes.

1:14:55 Adam You're 23?

1:14:57 Caller Yes.

1:14:57 Caller What's up?

1:14:59 Caller Nothing much. Yeah, I was just calling because I don't think being a dominatrix is such a bad thing. I worked as one for about six months. And I find it to be good therapy for a lot of different things and a safe way to have eroticness without sexually transmitted diseases or anything without effect.

1:15:22 Adam I'll give you that.

1:15:24 Drew Therapy suggests something changes in growth.

1:15:26 Adam Right. It's more of an outlet.

1:15:27 Drew It's an acting out. It's an outlet. People may feel good afterwards, but it's not therapeutic.

1:15:37 Caller Oh, you don't think so?

1:15:39 Adam No.

1:15:40 Drew If it were therapeutic, they would grow away from it. They'd grow through it and finish and grow out, as opposed to need to repeat it over and over again.

1:15:48 Caller Well, not everyone uses it on a regular basis. I mean, some people go see a psychiatrist once a week. Some people go see a dominatrix once a week. And some people do it like just every now and then as an erotic situation.

1:16:01 Adam Yeah. I don't think there's a whole lot of now and then-ers in the dominatrix scene. I think you're either in or out with it. I think it's like gay. I don't, you know, blow a guy once twice a year. I blow one every night. You know what I'm saying, honey?

1:16:18 Caller Well, no. I think it's good to get a little whippin on then.

1:16:21 Adam I know you do, but you're a little bit screwy.

1:16:24 Caller No, I'm not. You have no idea, you know, anything about me. I'm a very normal person. I find Dominatrix, I mean, in the SM community, anything to access is evil.

1:16:36 Adam Right, look.

1:16:36 Caller And that goes with anything. And if you just keep it on a nice, you know, happy, fun, friendly level, it's just playing. It's like kids playing.

1:16:46 Adam Yeah.

1:16:46 Caller It's an adult version of it.

1:16:47 Adam I know. People in their 50s.

1:16:48 Caller And it's a lot less dangerous than orgies and swingers parties where people are just, you know, doing all different kinds of people, not even, you know, half the time using condoms, half the time not.

1:17:00 Drew Mary Jane, we agree with you 100%, but that's also people acting out. And it's acting out in more dangerous ways. We're not judging, you know, if you enjoy it.

1:17:09 Adam No, I am. I like to judge.

1:17:10 Drew I don't. I'm just, I like being realistic, though.

1:17:14 Adam You don't like to judge on the air.

1:17:15 Drew No, no. I know.

1:17:17 Adam I've Mary Jane. Look, it's, I don't, I would rather people go in there and have a safe sexual release than have unsafe sex. I agree with you on that. I think it's fine to do once in a while and it's all good. I don't have a big problem with it. I think the people are screwed up in their whack jobs, but they pay their bills, they pay their taxes, and they can do what they want on their Friday nights.

1:17:44 Caller Well, I will agree, there's a huge amount of sick individuals, I mean, especially in LA. There's definitely a sexual, like, ex test, there's a ton of sex industries in this town. And anything, you know, done too much is harmful, but, you know, dominatrix-ness and, you know, S&M is just as harmful as, you know, any other type of industry. So, you know, it's all equal and everyone should, you know, just be safe about everything.

1:18:09 Adam All right, everything's equal. Good times. Well, that's one thing we've learned this week. Everything is equal. We're all the same.

1:18:19 Drew The people in the World Trade Center.

1:18:21 Adam Everything's equal.

1:18:21 Drew People in the airplane.

1:18:22 Adam It's all the same. It's all equal. Everything's the same. We don't know. All cultures are the same. All religions are the same. Everything's the same. Everything's equal. There's good and bad and everything. It's all the same. You could go to church. That's your thing. I like to climb in the veal box and get the penis shoved through the air hole.

1:18:43 Drew Same thing.

1:18:44 Adam Well, we can't judge. There's no judging. Everything's equal.

1:18:47 Drew No, listen. It doesn't help. Here's the problem. You can judge, but you sit in judgment and A, you've not accomplished anything. And B, you're not going to be able to come to an understanding of what motivates these people or help them.

1:18:58 Adam I just want to make sure that they know that they're screwed up.

1:19:01 Drew That's all. That's your goal in life.

1:19:03 Adam That helps them. All right, John.

1:19:06 Drew Helps them dislike you.

1:19:07 Adam Fine. Do you understand, Drew?

1:19:09 Drew I know you don't care.

1:19:10 Adam Do you understand what your crappy goal is? You should have everyone like you.

1:19:14 Drew No, no, not so much.

1:19:15 Adam In the world, the 7-8's a-hole, so that means 7-8's a-hole like you, and now you've got to talk to them. Thank you. John?

1:19:24 Drew Yeah.

1:19:25 Adam Go ahead, buddy.

1:19:26 Caller My girlfriend wants to get into a threesome with me, which is like every young guy's dream.

1:19:30 Adam Sure.

1:19:31 Drew And my friends are trying to kick my ass because I'm kind of hesitant about it. With a girl? Yeah. Two girls and a guy?

1:19:36 Caller Yeah.

1:19:37 Adam Do you know the girl?

1:19:38 Caller No, not yet. We've just been kicking around the idea.

1:19:42 Adam And it's more her idea than your idea?

1:19:44 Caller Yeah.

1:19:45 Drew Really?

1:19:46 Caller Yeah.

1:19:46 Adam Yeah. Well, your girlfriend's got a little energy, right?

1:19:50 Caller A lot of energy.

1:19:51 Drew Yeah. Do you want this relationship to survive?

1:19:54 Caller Yeah.

1:19:54 Caller I mean, out of all the girls, she's not as screwy as the rest of them.

1:19:57 Drew Oh, so you have a track record of going with the screwy ones, right?

1:20:01 Caller Actually, she's my first real girlfriend.

1:20:03 Caller I usually get discouraged after about two weeks, and they piss me off when I leave.

1:20:06 Adam John, let me tell you the truth.

1:20:09 Best Of CLL #1559 As you know, I'm a self-proclaimed genius, right?

1:20:12 Adam Here's the deal. This thing ain't going to last, you and this girl. I know you think it's going to last, but it ain't. It shouldn't last. You're 18 years old, for Christ's sake.

1:20:22 Caller Oh, yeah. And I'm not even worried about it lasting. I know it's not going to last more than like six more months.

1:20:26 Adam Good. That'd be fine. Just understand that. She's got some energy, and I'm telling you, she's got some serious energy. And that energy is going to eventually derail the relationship. And that's fine because someone will head off to college and you'll go separate ways, and it's all good. Meanwhile, you can get a nice threesome under your belt. So what I'm saying to you is this thing ain't going to last anyway, you might as well get the threesome. This is like, look, if you're going to get fired from the job, you might as well try to steal some supplies on your way out. Like everybody else. You're getting canned anyway. That's what I'm saying. And I'm not saying she's going to can you, but we know she's got energy.

1:21:11 Drew Forget you talked to this radio station tonight.

1:21:12 Adam She's got energy.

1:21:13 Drew I just realized that right on, enjoy good times. Same thing.

1:21:18 Adam All you 18-year-old screwballs who think this is it, are you should be at 18, Drew, and you tell me if I'm exaggerating one iota, at the age of 18 as a male.

1:21:31 Drew Yes.

1:21:32 Adam And let me define a serious relationship first. Monogamous with a woman who you assume you're in love with for at least a period of six months.

1:21:44 Drew What about it? Is it going to last? Shut up. Should it last?

1:21:46 Adam No, shut up. At 18, you should be between six and 10 of those relationships away from marriage.

1:21:56 Drew Oh, yeah. Oh, yes.

1:21:58 Adam Am I right or wrong?

1:21:59 Drew You are absolutely correct. Get 17 from 17 on.

1:22:02 Adam 17 on, you should be between six and 10 of those, at least six months with someone you're monogamous with, who you think you have pretty strong feelings for.

1:22:12 Drew And find out you don't.

1:22:13 Adam I'll say four and 10. Between four and 10 away from marriage. So at 18, burn it, baby. Thank you. Wanna take a break?

1:22:21 Yeah.

1:22:22 Adam Okay, we'll be back.

1:22:24 Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:22:27 Caller I'm back in a minute.

1:22:57 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. All right, let's hop back to the phones here and keep this train rolling. Hey, Drew, I got to do that lightning round tomorrow night. I was talking about doing it tonight, last night. Yeah, you just struck me.

1:23:12 Drew You can't do it tonight because you got so off on your car discussion.

1:23:15 Adam Yeah, I wasted a lot of energy during the break. Shauna?

1:23:19 Caller Yeah, hi.

1:23:20 Adam You're 18?

1:23:21 Caller Yeah, first of all, I want to say I love you guys. I listen religiously.

1:23:25 Adam Thanks.

1:23:25 Caller You're awesome.

1:23:26 Adam We love you, baby.

1:23:27 Drew I'm coming to Minneapolis tomorrow night.

1:23:28 Caller Oh, really?

1:23:29 Adam Yeah, I'll be there Friday, actually, for an hour.

1:23:34 Drew Five minutes. But I'll be there all day. I'm going to Carleton College tomorrow.

1:23:38 Caller Oh, really? Wow, I'll have to check that out.

1:23:41 Adam No, she won't. Go ahead, Shauna.

1:23:42 Caller I'll try.

1:23:44 Caller Okay, here's my question. I'm 18 now. I have a son who's a little over a year and a half old. I got pregnant when I was 15, and at the time I was basically on the streets doing a lot of speed.

1:23:58 Drew Wow.

1:23:58 Best Of CLL #1559 Good job.

1:24:00 Caller I quit doing everything as soon as I found out I was pregnant and went to the doctor, and they told me, through doing my measurements and stuff, that I was actually a month more pregnant than I thought I was.

1:24:12 Drew Being two months?

1:24:13 Caller Yeah.

1:24:14 Drew So you did drugs for two months in the pregnancy?

1:24:16 Caller Yeah, not knowing it.

1:24:18 Drew What was the primary drug?

1:24:22 Caller Because what had happened was I had my period that first month, but it was like a day and a half long. But that had happened to me before because I spent a lot of time not eating for a week at a time.

1:24:31 Drew What's your question?

1:24:36 Caller Is there going to be any effects to my baby from this? And if so, when will I be able to tell?

1:24:44 Drew You should be able to tell right away if there are going to be any significant effects. And what I've been reading lately about the children of stimulant users during pregnancy is that by first grade they're tending to catch up with their peers.

1:24:55 Caller Okay.

1:24:55 Drew And so the long, long-term effects, although not yet fully known or understood, don't appear to be as bad as we thought they were.

1:25:02 Caller Okay.

1:25:03 Drew And so things might turn out okay.

1:25:04 Adam Keep in mind their peers are their parents are alcoholics and into weed.

1:25:08 Drew Right, of course.

1:25:08 Adam Of course. But hey, you sound sober now.

1:25:12 Caller Oh yeah, I am sober now.

1:25:13 Adam All right, so you're...

1:25:14 Caller I'm working on the program and everything.

1:25:15 Adam Good for you. Yeah, that's what you sound like. You sound very sane.

1:25:18 Caller Yeah, I just worry about it and I don't want to ask his doctor because of the whole, you know, child protection.

1:25:23 Drew Yeah, you're working in a program now?

1:25:25 Caller Yeah.

1:25:26 Drew For teenagers or who?

1:25:27 Caller Well, I go to AA and I do run a young people's meeting out here with a lot of teenagers.

1:25:32 Drew I mean, you really sound great.

1:25:33 Caller Well, thank you.

1:25:34 Drew I mean, you know, you get a feeling from people and she...

1:25:36 Adam Yeah.

1:25:37 Drew I mean, given with the history of that brief little bit you gave us, I mean...

1:25:40 Adam Hold on, speaking of feeling, you break some wind in here, Drew?

1:25:43 Drew No, I didn't.

1:25:43 Best Of CLL #1559 Oh, really? Okay.

1:25:44 Adam Just got a feeling. Hey, Shauna? Yeah. Yeah, you sound like somebody who's been through a lot but is... are firmly planted now. Oh, thank you. I think that's a nice base. Good. And no more kids.

1:25:56 Drew No, no more kids.

1:25:57 Adam Okay. But keep up the good work.

1:25:59 Drew Careful in relationships. Relationships will get... Your age particularly can really derail your recovery, so be very, very careful with that, right?

1:26:05 Caller Another one killer. I know that.

1:26:06 Best Of CLL #1559 Yeah.

1:26:07 Drew Take care.

1:26:07 Caller Thank you.

1:26:08 Drew Bye.

1:26:09 Best Of CLL #1559 All right.

1:26:10 Adam That was a person that had their ass together. And you can hear it in their voice. Maddie?

1:26:14 Caller Maddie.

1:26:16 Drew Okay, Maddie.

1:26:17 Adam Who named you Maddie?

1:26:18 Drew Popeye.

1:26:20 Adam Seriously. Does everyone call you Maddie?

1:26:23 Caller Yeah.

1:26:24 Caller Well, everybody says it.

1:26:25 Adam All right. Just change your name to Maddie.

1:26:28 Caller No, I don't like it.

1:26:29 Adam Stop screwing with everybody.

1:26:31 Drew Spell it differently, then.

1:26:33 Adam How do you spell it?

1:26:34 Caller M-A-D-Y.

1:26:36 Best Of CLL #1559 Yeah.

1:26:36 Adam All right. Here's how you spell it.

1:26:37 Drew M-A-I-D-Y.

1:26:38 Adam M-A-I-D-Y.

1:26:40 Best Of CLL #1559 Yeah.

1:26:41 Caller Well, there's like OOMOs on top of the A that like pronounces it different. It's Hungarian.

1:26:46 Best Of CLL #1559 Okay.

1:26:47 Adam Oh, Hungarian.

1:26:48 Best Of CLL #1559 All right.

1:26:49 Adam All right. So what's up?

1:26:50 Caller Um, I'm 19. And I have a boyfriend that I've been with for four years. And we have three kids.

1:27:01 Caller Oh, my God. Yeah.

1:27:04 Caller Well, I had my first one when I was 16. And then I just had him like all in a row. But, um.

1:27:09 Adam Right. Well, you're 19. We know you didn't have your third one when you're 28. All right. Can you please stop it now, idiot?

1:27:19 Drew What there was a make?

1:27:21 Adam I don't know.

1:27:22 Caller My boyfriend's getting a vasectomy.

1:27:24 Adam Phil Collins is singing No More. Yeah, your boyfriend's getting a vasectomy.

1:27:28 Caller Good. Like really soon, it's like next week or something.

1:27:32 Drew You might have two more kids in the meantime. What's going on? What's your question?

1:27:39 Caller I never want to have sex with him. I'm totally like, I think the sex is so gross all the time. I'm not even like turned on or anything anymore.

1:27:48 Drew Are you on any medication?

1:27:49 Caller No.

1:27:50 Drew Are your periods normal?

1:27:51 Caller Yeah.

1:27:52 Adam Did you get abused or anything growing up?

1:27:54 Caller No.

1:27:54 Drew How long ago was your last child?

1:27:57 Adam Ten minutes.

1:27:58 Caller Ten months.

1:27:59 Drew Are you still breastfeeding?

1:28:01 Caller No.

1:28:01 Drew Did you have any depression with that baby?

1:28:04 Caller Well, I had depression normally.

1:28:07 Drew But did you get especially bad after that delivery?

1:28:11 Caller No. Not any worse than usual.

1:28:13 Drew Are you on antidepressant medication?

1:28:16 Caller No. Not anymore.

1:28:17 Caller It's been like a long time.

1:28:18 Caller It's been like two years since I've taken anything.

1:28:21 Adam What's your boyfriend do for a living?

1:28:23 Caller He does floors.

1:28:25 Caller Like, he installs floors.

1:28:26 Drew Are you under a lot of stress right now?

1:28:29 Caller Um, yeah.

1:28:31 Drew Nineteen trying to raise three kids.

1:28:33 Caller Yeah.

1:28:33 Adam How can you even think about that? My boyfriend does flooring for a living, for Christ's sake.

1:28:36 Drew How can sex even enter into your brain? And you're depressed.

1:28:40 Caller He, like, wants to have sex, like, all the time.

1:28:43 Drew Yeah, he's a 19-year-old male. You're a 19-year-old female with three kids.

1:28:48 Adam Okay. Hey, Maddie, you sound pretty gregarious for a depressed Hungarian. So, I'm glad you're happy, and I really want you to focus on those kids, and I want you to be part of focusing on those kids as not being a depressed mommy. So, you need to look into that.

1:29:05 Drew You may need some treatment for depression, and remember that many of the antidepressant medications can make sexual functioning even worse. So, you want to think about talking to your doctor about serosone, wellbutrin, or remeron.

1:29:18 Adam All right. I know people don't like me to speak this way, and Drew doesn't like to admit it, but doesn't it just boil down to stupidity at a certain point?

1:29:30 Drew What? Doesn't what, brother?

1:29:31 Adam And not only for Madey's situation, but her boyfriend. Where you're working, laying, installing flooring for a living, lucky if you got a dental plan through work, and you got three kids cranked out at age 19. That to me is sort of beyond stupid, because stupid is not knowing the capitals to a certain degree. You know, there's many forms of stupid, but that is stupid to the core. The marrow of your bone is dumb.

1:30:05 Drew No common sense. You mean, no ability to judge that this would be inappropriate or un-

1:30:10 Adam Yeah, it's like ultra stupid. It's not that kind of stupid when, you know, Howard Stern interviews playmates, and they can't, they don't know if Kennedy was assassinated or not. You know, that's a kind of a stupid, but this is, this is to the core stupid.

1:30:28 Drew We call this lack of insight. No insight. No understanding their behavior is inappropriate or is harmful to them or others.

1:30:37 Adam You got two kids, you're 17 and a half, 18, and you're not using a condom. You're still pulling out.

1:30:44 Drew No insight.

1:30:46 Adam Isn't that almost retarded in a certain sense? Unless you're specifically and intentionally trying to destroy your life.

1:30:52 Drew But many times a lot of those kinds of behaviors are the result of an emotional condition, not a cognitive problem.

1:30:59 Adam And here's the scariest part of all that.

1:31:01 Drew Both.

1:31:01 Adam You have people that are that screwed up who catch 22 are the ones who have to do all the raising of the kids.

1:31:08 Drew And they're teenagers. Hey.

1:31:11 Adam Hold on a second. I know this sounds like I'm beating the same drum over and over again. But is there anyone, even though we live in the United States and we're talking about some of our civil liberties maybe being encroached upon, the profiling, ethnic profiling, maybe being checked, wiretaps on phones. Is there anyone that thinks that part of that could slide into, hey, you're 19 and you got three kids and you're not married and your hubby don't have any health insurance? What about that?

1:31:44 Drew I can't afford that anymore.

1:31:45 Adam I wouldn't mind, I wouldn't mind starting with that. That's fine. I could see us losing that liberty. All right. Let's, and by the way, not everything's a liberty. That ain't a liberty. You effing up three kids is not a liberty. Sarah?

1:32:01 Caller Yes?

1:32:02 Adam You're 17?

1:32:03 Caller Yes.

1:32:04 Adam You went out with a guy twice.

1:32:06 Caller No, only once.

1:32:07 Drew All right.

1:32:08 Adam You went out with a guy once.

1:32:10 Drew And?

1:32:11 Adam He left his pregnant fiance days ago.

1:32:13 Caller Yeah.

1:32:14 Drew For you?

1:32:15 Caller Yeah, I think so.

1:32:16 Adam How old is he?

1:32:17 Caller He's 20.

1:32:18 Adam All right.

1:32:19 Drew He's looking for an escape hatch. That's for sure. Yeah.

1:32:22 Adam Hatch is the operative word, isn't it?

1:32:24 Caller I'm like really worried because she's really upset and she really loves him.

1:32:29 Drew Don't put that on. Do not do that Anderson. Running over the tape recorder.

1:32:34 Adam Do you like him? Did you have sex with him?

1:32:37 Caller Not yet.

1:32:38 Adam What did you do with him?

1:32:41 Caller Pretty much we've only made out.

1:32:42 Adam All right. First date, huh?

1:32:45 Caller Yeah, pretty much. We've been going out since Friday.

1:32:48 Adam Where did you meet him?

1:32:49 Caller I met him at the pool hall.

1:32:50 Drew Oh boy.

1:32:51 Adam Classy.

1:32:52 Caller That's the exact same place that he met his fiance.

1:32:54 Drew Well, you can be the next one that he treats like this.

1:32:58 Adam Do you want to be that one?

1:32:59 Caller No.

1:33:00 Adam Do you like him?

1:33:01 Caller Yeah, I really do.

1:33:02 Drew No, no, no.

1:33:03 Adam I know you do. I know you really like him, but can you understand that he's kind of flawed that he has a fiance who's pregnant and he's at the pool hall? Well, they broke up. He dumped on her is what he did.

1:33:14 Drew He dumped her because of...

1:33:16 Adam They broke up is he ran from his responsibility. He knocked up some chick and he took off and he went to a pool hall and they met another chick and he's 20 and you're underage and now he's up with another chick and...

1:33:29 Drew He's dangerous.

1:33:30 Adam He really is. Look, I swear to Christ Sarah, do not let him get you pregnant. Do you understand that concept?

1:33:39 Caller Yeah, he already has a kid.

1:33:40 Drew Yeah, he got another one coming and you're the next sort of bullseye that he's going after.

1:33:45 Caller I don't know how to tell him it's over.

1:33:47 Drew He never started. You had one date. Just not be available. We don't have a date really. We went out to the lake. Alright, you're not available anymore.

1:33:53 Adam You're not into him. Fine. You're 17, honey. This guy's going to be like an anvil tied around your waist and you can just jump into the bay with him. This guy's a loser white trash. Get your grades up and go to college and don't get pregnant and stay out of this guy's sights, alright? Don't go to school. I know you're depressed but this guy's penis is not going to cure you. Thank you. We'll take a break.

1:34:16 Caller Alright guys, bottom line, here's the deal. Looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person, one call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

1:35:00 Adam Yeah, well, there it is. Done with another fabulous Loveline episode. I want to thank you all for listening, and we'll be back in a very short 22 hours.

1:35:10 Drew I'll be in Minneapolis tomorrow.

1:35:11 Adam Good times. So until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:35:16 Drew Okay, Maydee.

1:35:17 Adam Who named you Maydee?

1:35:19 Drew Popeye.

1:35:20 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, December 9, 2001