Episode 1000754886828

1:02 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Fresh in from Vegas, yeah.

1:28 Drew You've been in the studio three minutes, already had an ass full of our collars.

1:32 That's for sure, right?

1:34 Adam Well, it was funny because Drew looked up at the screen and we get a lot of bogus calls lately. Drew looked up on the screen and saw 26-year-old Lance just diagnosed with AIDS. And Drew looked at me and he said, what do you think the chances that he's really got AIDS are? And I said, I don't know, man, but he better pray he's got AIDS. Lance, if you're listening, you better pray you got AIDS. If I get another bogus call, I'm going through the roof. So you keep your fingers crossed. If there's an AIDS fairy, and I'm guessing there's a lot of them, you should pray to that AIDS fairy that you got them AIDS. All right, let's see. I had a wonderful experience on Southwest on the way out here.

2:21 Drew Uh-uh. Okay. You had the captain come out and kick your ass again?

2:25 Adam No. But you know, here's the deal about Southwest.

2:28 Drew It sucks. That's what the deal is.

2:30 Adam Right, right. It's not even a bus with wings. It's a subway car with wings.

2:36 Drew Yeah.

2:37 Adam And here's the... I don't know why, but you know how I get really pissed off when people don't agree with me?

2:44 Drew Yeah.

2:45 Adam Especially when I'm talking about how much something sucks.

2:47 Drew Yeah.

2:48 Adam I had this guy behind me in line who was like the Mr. Contrary guy. This is how I imagine all attorneys to be, and they are. This is why I hate attorneys. You go to a dinner party with an attorney, and they pick the opposite point of whatever it is you are saying. It makes them seem smart. I hate these guys. I hate these guys who point out the obvious. Here is what Southwest does. First thing they do is they sell you a ticket, and then they just go ahead and give away your seat. Yeah. Now, I'm not talking about you running up to the gate four minutes before the departure time. I'm talking about strolling in 20, 25 minutes before you get there. When I left Burbank, they gave away my ticket. They nicely put me on a list, but I said, what other universe does it work this way? You're going to a concert. You buy a ticket three weeks in advance. You show up at the arena 20 minutes before the concert starts, and they say, sorry. Why bother buying the ticket, I guess, would be my question. What good is the ticket? It reserves you a possible optional place on their plane. Fine. So on the way back, it's the same thing. They got that counter. They got two slots, and there's one person, and the line is 120 people. However many people are getting on that plane, that's how long this line is. I was there an hour early on the flight home from Vegas. Line's got 110 people in it. I sit down at the bar, I had myself a drink. I wait for the line to get all the way down. That's no problem. I walk into it, there's about 35 people in it. I get my thing, I'm in the 90s. They give you those little boarding passes. I'm standing around, my little section, guy standing behind me. Everyone's complaining. That's what people do when they fly southwest. They don't need entertainment. The entertainment is people complaining about the airline. And I'm saying, Jesus Christ, how bad would it be for them to put another Ace behind that counter? Now this is the contrary guy. It drives me nuts. Not even one of these weird old guys. This guy's in his thirties. He goes, the line would be just as long. I turn around to him and I go, yeah, it'd be just as long, but it'd move twice as fast. There's 100% more help at the counter. You had one person, you have two. Yeah. Well, it's the money. New ass, retardo. I go, but what's wrong? Look, there's 120 people in this line. How many people are getting on this plane? 125 people. What are they paying these schlubs? 11, 12 bucks an hour, 15 bucks an hour, tops. You got 120 people getting on the plane. Charge everyone an extra 50 cents, and let's get another guy behind that counter. But they're going to keep that money. Hold on, let me grab a scratch pad, you idiot. So then he goes, look, a lot of people shop around, and I go, what's up with Burbank, too? There's no first class flight out of Burbank. I don't pay for my ticket. Yeah, to Vegas. Why was there something decent from Burbank? He goes, who wants to pay a thousand bucks for a 45-minute flight? I said, well, first off, it's not a thousand bucks. It's like 600 bucks, which is still expensive, don't get me wrong. But there's a lot of industry people flying out. There's half the people flying to Vegas aren't paying for themselves. They got some convention, they got some business, they got some industry. Those people will pay for the thing. Well, he says, look, he tells me, no, it doesn't exist. I go, listen, I fly first class out of LAX to Vegas. Oh, he goes, look, what's the problem? The planes are always half full. You just stretch into the seat next to you. Oh, on Southwest? I said, half full? I almost didn't get here because they gave away my ticket. Finally, the guy in front of me turns around and goes, half full? I said, I actually said to the guy, are you high? Half full? When have you been on a half full Southwest flight? By the way, it's always ironic when people are making the point when this plane is packed. You know what I mean? You're trying to make a point about the very plane you're getting on and that's overbooked. Anyway, after about five go-rounds of the guy, I just look at him and go, do you work for Southwest? No, I just like a bargain. I'm like, dick. Here's all I'm saying, what's in it for him? Why's he got to hassle me? You can't nod your head once. I say there should be another guy behind the counter. You got to argue?

7:29 Drew People that like their bargains don't like people who create for...

7:34 Adam Yeah, I know his thing. His thing was like, hey Richie Rich. Yeah. I cruise the Internet for 17 hours to save myself a buck seventy-five. So listen daddy war bucks.

7:46 Drew So I have to be passive aggressive towards you until I feel like I've satisfactorily smacked you around. Right.

7:52 Adam I'm a loser. I don't make any money. I'll attack you for spending half my life on the Internet trying to save a buck. Fine. Now listen, I'm all for the bargain too. But I think if I said show of hands, who wants to pay an extra 50 cents and cut this line in half? I think most folks would go for it.

8:09 Drew My wife's paging me to make sure I ask you out to dinner Saturday night.

8:12 Adam Yeah, good times.

8:13 Drew You have a Lynette Caller.

8:14 Adam I can't commit.

8:15 Drew You have a Lynette Caller.

8:15 Adam I got to think about it.

8:16 Drew You have a Lynette Caller.

8:17 Adam Hey, I told your wife to do everything through my agent and publicist.

8:23 Drew Oh my God.

8:25 Adam I had to fly a class that was not first class. You understand that?

8:29 Drew Yes, you're the little Lloyd Fonthleroy.

8:31 Adam Should we talk to Lance?

8:32 Drew If you want.

8:34 Adam Well, he better hope he's got AIDS. Lance?

8:36 Yes.

8:37 Adam You're 26?

8:38 Caller I am 26.

8:40 Adam What happened? Drew, ask him some questions.

8:42 Drew What's the call?

8:43 Caller I wasn't diagnosed with AIDS. I was diagnosed with HIV Tuesday.

8:46 Drew All right.

8:48 Where did you get it?

8:51 Caller Probably from some sort of sexual exploit at some point in the past.

8:56 Drew Are you homosexual?

8:58 Caller Yes.

8:58 Okay.

8:59 Drew And what made you get tested?

9:02 Caller The doctor noticed some swollen lymph nodes on my neck.

9:05 Drew Okay.

9:06 Caller And so we did the blood work there at the office and came back positive. All right.

9:10 Drew And so what's the plan?

9:12 Caller Well, I got to get my CD4 done tomorrow and find out what my viral load is.

9:16 Drew Right.

9:17 Caller And I guess we go from there. I'm going to get a meds or not.

9:21 Drew Really? I mean, you know now that this disease is really considered sort of a chronic illness. Right. It's not anywhere near what it was. When I started broadcasting in this show, one of the reasons I got involved with it was there was this thing then called GRIDs, Gay-Related Intestinal Disease Syndrome, which you now know as AIDS. And when I was in training, when we saw something like you, it would be a really, it was a catastrophe. It was, oh my God, and your first step, sort of pneumocystis meant you had six months to live. Right. So it is nothing like that. People live decades with this now.

9:53 Adam When you first got on the air, whooping cough was considered death fatal.

9:56 Drew Yeah, the flu was there. There was the influenza epidemic of 1918 in Germany.

10:01 Adam They were trying to figure out how malaria was spread. Three years after he was on the air, they realized it was mosquitoes.

10:07 Drew The point is that this is something that can be managed. The triple therapies are extremely good. People think of this now as a chronic illness. They keep the viral load suppressed and you will not, God willing, progress to any real AIDS.

10:20 Adam All right. Well, there you go. Now, I'm too embarrassed to talk to him because I made a big deal about his AIDS. It turns out he's got it.

10:28 Drew What are you doing? You haven't found out why you want to do a test. What do you want? What do you need for us?

10:33 Caller I had a couple of questions. I'm already starting to feel those feelings of like I'm not ever going to be able to grow attached to somebody again.

10:43 Drew Sure.

10:44 Caller Like in a romantic sense. Right. And all that. I'm just flipping. The first couple of days I was fine. I wasn't feeling the walls or anything. But now all this stuff is starting to surface.

10:55 Drew You have friends with HIV?

10:57 Caller Yeah. There's some people from my A group. A lot of people actually. They're positive.

11:01 Drew And they're all kinds of, in addiction populations, it's not just homosexuals. There's all kinds of people who get HIV. And everyone has different kinds of feelings about it.

11:11 Adam Yeah, but better to be homosexual with HIV in terms of a scorn than a straighty.

11:17 Drew Yeah, I think so. I think that community is more, embraces somebody with this.

11:22 Adam Well, no. You just get more. Yeah. I mean, don't you?

11:26 Caller No, that's true. The only people I know with HIV are gay men.

11:30 Adam That's what I'm saying. Imagine you're straight, you got HIV, you're trying to find yourself a partner. It's like, it's going to have a hard time finding a straight guy.

11:39 Drew Well, I'm sure they refer to you as some support group, yes?

11:41 Caller Yeah, definitely.

11:42 Drew Alright, it's going to take some time to start this.

11:44 Caller I had a question about if you had any books that you could recommend. I'm not real trusting of the Internet.

11:50 Drew I don't, offhand. I've dealt with several gay men who've continued to have, actually it was the non-HIV-positive partner I've had as patients, who continued to have normal, obviously protected, but had sexual relations for many, many years. It's just something you're going to get used to. It's going to be a hassle.

12:09 Adam Yeah, like find a guy with AIDS and go at it.

12:13 Drew Well, it's not that simple.

12:15 Adam Well, sure it is. It's because I'm making it sound that way.

12:19 Drew Good.

12:20 Adam And what about, you know, it's an interesting question. Hey, Lance.

12:24 Caller Yeah.

12:25 Adam What about, I don't know why this popped in my head, but would you want to be or date someone with AIDS? Would it make a difference?

12:33 Drew Before you had it, you mean?

12:34 Adam No, right now. Right now. I mean, is there still a stigma there, even though you've contracted HIV?

12:40 Caller Yeah, I guess there's some sort of a stigma attached to it. I don't personally subscribe to that.

12:47 Drew Oh, okay. You would not have trouble dating somebody with HIV positive?

12:50 Caller No, not at all.

12:51 Adam All right, good. Take care of yourself, Lance. And listen, I know this is a bummer, a serious bummer, but it would have been catastrophic ten or fifteen years ago.

13:03 Drew That and it's better that you know, a much more overwhelming piece would be coming to terms with realizing you might have given it to other people and all your feelings associated with that.

13:13 Adam Right. All right. Let's talk to Adrienne.

13:18 Caller Yeah?

13:19 Adam You're twenty. What's up?

13:22 Caller Well, I just had my son about five months ago, almost six months ago, and it seems like ever since I had him, I just have zero sex drive at all.

13:33 Drew Are you depressed?

13:35 Caller No, not at all.

13:36 Drew Are you on any medication?

13:38 Caller No.

13:38 Drew Are you breastfeeding?

13:40 Caller I was about five weeks after I had my son. I had to have surgery and I couldn't do it after that.

13:48 Drew What kind of surgery?

13:49 Caller I had to have gallbladder surgery.

13:51 Drew Oh, nice.

13:54 Adam So from the pregnancy?

13:55 Drew Yeah, it happens. What happens? It's not an unheard of thing.

14:00 Adam What's that gallbladder do anyway? We don't need those, do we?

14:02 Drew No, you don't need them. That's why they take them out.

14:04 Adam They do? Yeah. Well, let's get rid of that.

14:07 Drew You want to take yours out?

14:07 Adam It's on my list. I've been trying to lose 5 pounds for a while now. What's that gallbladder way?

14:13 Drew I don't have.

14:16 Adam Fully laden?

14:17 Drew Adrian, this is a real common thing. Particularly, the first 6 months after you have a baby, there's many reasons, predominantly biological. You've gone through a huge change and many women complain about dropped sex drive for up to a year. Sometimes, something as simple as going on the birth control pill, the triphasic pills often are useful, can restore libido. But it is primarily a biological event. Obviously, the other thing is the stress of raising a child.

14:41 Adam How about a nice kick start for you?

14:44 Drew What, you?

14:45 Adam I'm thinking of you. No, why don't you just get on your husband and get going?

14:52 Get yourself kick started.

14:54 Caller It's not like we don't ever have sex. I could really care less if I ever had sex again. I really feel that way. I don't have any drive whatsoever. I have no interest in it whatsoever. I don't know if maybe there's some sort of hormone pills I could take.

15:11 Drew Like I said, Adrienne, sometimes just going on the birth control pill brings it back.

15:15 Adam Well, that is a hormone pill.

15:16 Drew That is a hormone pill.

15:17 Caller Well, I started taking birth control.

15:19 Which one?

15:21 Caller It's low estrin, 1.5.

15:23 Drew No, go back and talk to your doctor. The estrogen, many women, the estrogen is what they need and not so much of the progesterone. You're sort of in the exact opposite situation there.

15:35 Adam Yes, the congesterone that you don't hear about so much.

15:38 Drew Alright.

15:39 Adam How about the oral sex? You give that to your husband?

15:44 Caller That's really not my most favorite thing to do.

15:47 Adam Alright there, baby. Adam, you can't talk to her? Just about enough.

15:51 Drew I'm so sorry. Let me say this. Your sensibilities, you look upset.

15:55 Adam I've had a long day and now this, now this, now is not the time, sweetie. Let me say this, Drew. I know you love the chicks because you practically want yourself, but men and women have it tough and have had it tough. What's up with this sort of notion that women never have to do anything they don't want to do? Do you know that kind of basic, prevalent philosophy in this society?

16:22 Drew There's a general...

16:23 Adam Not just sexually, just everything.

16:25 Drew And in a way, it kind of continues a disempowerment of women.

16:30 Adam Yeah.

16:30 Drew Because it's saying men can force you, and you're passive, and that your only choice is to say no. And then you don't have to.

16:38 Adam But it's just like...

16:38 Drew As opposed to saying... to being forceful, if they really don't want to. Or to passively saying yes to things that they may not like to do. Like men do all the time.

16:46 Adam Well, I just mean... It's like...

16:49 Drew No, no, just saying.

16:50 Adam Yeah, and like I said, not just sexually, but as a guy, you learn early and often that life is just filled with crap you don't want to do.

16:59 Drew Alright, just get used to it.

17:00 Adam You just get used to it. You just do it every day. Could be mowing the lawn, could be going to work, could be fixing the car, the tractor, whatever it is. Getting up early, doing a thing.

17:10 Drew I think it's a bad thing.

17:11 Adam Women are kind of like, hey, I don't want to do that. So I really shouldn't be doing that.

17:17 Drew And if you force me, that's aggressive now.

17:20 Adam That's rape. Or that's whatever. You're taking advantage of me somehow.

17:23 Drew No, I think that's a bad precedent. I totally agree with you.

17:26 Adam A partner, Jimmy's wife, called us in Vegas on the cell phone yesterday like noon, started yelling at Jimmy.

17:32 Drew You were still at the strip joint? Oh, you just got home.

17:37 Adam Well, it was about 12.30. We just left. Yeah, that's right. And, no, we were working in a studio, and she called and she started yelling at Jimmy about the heater, why the furnace wasn't working in the house. And then she wanted to talk to me, which is always bad. He gave me the phone, and she started yelling at me about the furnace. And she was saying, you know, why doesn't this work? And I don't know. She said, the guy said it needed to be replaced. I said, well, maybe it does. And she started yelling, what am I supposed to do? And I thought, what do you want me to do, talk to Mr. Heatmizer? I'm in Vegas, honey, I'm working. And your husband's working too. It's like, do something. But I realized that a lot of women have this.

18:17 Drew The passivity.

18:18 Adam It's like if they were falling off a cliff, they would start yelling for their husband mid-flight. Do something. Do it.

18:25 Drew Yeah.

18:26 Adam Guy wouldn't do that. He would start yelling, he'd start yelling F word.

18:30 Caller Yeah.

18:30 Drew To you. He'd make you mad at you.

18:33 Adam He'd just yell the F word. But women want guys, you know, what are you going to do?

18:37 Caller Yeah.

18:37 Adam And they're not, a lot of them think that we don't do anything. Listen, women, guys do crap they don't want to do all the time every day. You should get used to it too. And if your libido is a little crappy and it's not quite right, it's a little in the funk, give your husband a BJ.

18:54 Drew Here's the problem with them. You sort of advise them sometimes, just go have sex. And there's a certain quality of receptivity that women need to have in order to really be sexual.

19:04 Adam I'm cool with that. That's why I say BJ. And many other things you don't want to do. That's life. And you know what women do then? They spin it that we like doing the crap. They clean my girlfriend's carpets. I'm like, she's like, Oh, you do is what you want. I go, what do you mean? I was cleaning your carpets. The other, oh, you like that. Are you high? You know, did your wife do that to you? She has to make you seem like you're having some kind of panty raid frat party everywhere you go.

19:33 Drew No, no, no. Her thing is with work.

19:37 Adam Oh, yeah.

19:37 Drew Would you enjoy that? I'm like, I'm working. I'm killing it.

19:40 Adam Oh, you're sitting around. You're having a good time. You and Adam are talking smack about me. Oh, wait a minute. Roger? Yeah? You're 18? Yeah. What's up?

19:52 Drew No, you're going to call her? Hang on a second, Roger.

19:54 Adam Your wife? Yeah. I'm telling you, I got everything through my publicist.

19:59 Drew Come on. Come over Saturday night.

20:01 Adam Oh, well, let me just get my bearings straight. I'll meet you halfway in Glendale.

20:08 Drew Roger?

20:09 Adam You're 18. What's up?

20:11 Caller My stepfather has been purchasing with marijuana joints and money, my Ritalin.

20:19 Drew You mean he's trading you marijuana for Ritalin?

20:21 Caller Yeah, like a joint for...

20:22 Drew He's your stepfather?

20:24 Adam Yeah.

20:25 Drew Or this guy?

20:26 Caller Formerly addicted to meth.

20:28 Drew He's not formally, he's back on Ritalin, same thing.

20:31 Adam What? Hold on. What's a joint get? Just one pill?

20:36 Caller Actually, it was like two or three.

20:38 Caller Yeah.

20:40 Adam How much?

20:42 Caller Like three bucks a pill.

20:44 Adam I'd like to see that around five, Raj.

20:46 Caller I know.

20:46 Caller I heard on 2020 that they were selling it on a high campus.

20:49 Drew Can you tell your mom about this?

20:50 Adam Yeah. I mean, I know the guy's family and all, and they want to slide him a discount, but, you know, it's not like the stuff's free. You understand?

20:58 Drew Can you tell your mom about this?

20:59 Adam Uh, no.

21:00 Caller I think she'd freak out.

21:01 Drew Well, I think she needs to know. I do. You're enabling your dad's criminal, pretty quick.

21:08 Caller Pretty soon it won't be my problem.

21:10 Drew Well, it is kind of your problem, because this, your dad's enabling your, are you a marijuana addict, using it every day?

21:17 Caller Um, yeah.

21:18 Drew Yeah, he's enabling your marijuana addiction. I mean, it's just a mess. And, I mean, it's just awful.

21:24 Adam Give him seven for thirty bucks. It's about a foreign change of pace.

21:28 Drew What do you want from us, Roger?

21:30 Caller I just want to know, well, like, should I, I don't really want to tell my mother, but like, I mean, it's hard.

21:36 Adam You better tell her.

21:37 Drew Look, he's back on stimulants.

21:38 Adam And I don't know, what's up with your mom, too?

21:41 Drew Well, she's enabling both of you guys.

21:43 Adam She's got problems.

21:44 Drew Her dad was an alcoholic. I addicted to Mastiff.

21:46 Adam Hey, Roger?

21:48 Caller Yeah?

21:49 Adam Um, I know the rent's free and all, but you should be thinking about getting out of there pretty soon.

21:54 Drew Get your ass to a 12-step meeting.

21:57 Adam Get your ass to a 12-step meeting.

21:58 Caller I went to L-Team for a while.

22:00 Drew Great.

22:00 Caller Or whatever the hell.

22:01 Drew Well, if you have any connections from that, talk to them, and let them know what you're up to now.

22:05 Adam Roger, wait a second. What are you doing?

22:10 Caller What do you mean?

22:11 Adam Are you in high school?

22:14 Caller Recently I dropped out of college.

22:16 Adam Junior college?

22:17 Caller No, no. It was a four-year community college, basically.

22:22 Caller Junior college?

22:23 Caller It's a state university, kind of.

22:25 Caller Boise State University.

22:27 Adam Okay, Boise State.

22:30 Drew He's deeming it a community college.

22:32 Adam Well, state schools are almost. But you did enough. I mean, you got grades enough. You took the SATs. You did a little something.

22:38 Drew He does not sound like a dumb guy.

22:40 Adam Yeah, you did enough to kind of get that far.

22:42 Drew Yeah.

22:42 Adam Right? And you dropped out.

22:44 Drew That's fine.

22:44 Oh, I wanted to get a job.

22:45 Adam There you go. You're working full-time?

22:48 Caller I had an interview the other day.

22:49 Caller I'm getting to work on a full-time job.

22:51 Adam Roger, you…

22:52 Drew He's got that marijuana.

22:53 Adam Yeah.

22:54 Drew Dude.

22:55 Adam You focus.

22:57 Caller I need to tell Adam that…

22:59 Adam Just shut up for a second. You need to focus on getting a full-time gig and getting out of that house with your crazy mom and screwed up stepdad.

23:08 Caller I'm working hard at it.

23:09 Adam Okay, go ahead. What do you want to say?

23:10 Caller I heard on the Internet that the family guy was canceled.

23:13 Caller Oh.

23:14 Caller I think you should use your millionaire status to fix that.

23:17 Drew TV just sucks right now.

23:19 Adam All right. Thank you, Roger. Let me tell you, all you Darm and Gregg-watching homos out there. I watch that Family Guy tonight. I watch it every Family Guy favorite show. It's like when people go, Love Lines. I love that show. I saw the Family Guy tonight and I've been watching them because they've been on lately. That show is so god damn funny. It's amazing. And I wish everybody would watch that show because I'm just prejudiced. I want it to stay on.

23:53 Drew Well, look, there's so much other great stuff just pushing it out. So much other great television competing its way. It's got to wade its way through that great TV that's out there.

24:02 Adam I know. What? I'm telling. Drew, would you watch that show? It is so funny, that show.

24:07 Drew I'm busy with The Simpsons in our house right now. It's just taken over. We've got to go to break. It's actually funnier than The Simpsons.

24:13 Adam It is funny.

24:14 Drew Although tonight, do you see The Simpsons tonight, it's hysterical.

24:17 Adam I love The Simpsons, but the family guy is super funny. That show goes away, I'll cry. We'll be back. Oh, you're pointing at me, Anderson? Drew is in the middle of a sermon here. He didn't want to cut him off. Don't think the show beginning is going to slow Drew down. Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. All righty.

24:48 Drew There we go.

24:49 Adam Let's talk to Jason. Jason?

24:52 Caller Hey, how's it going?

24:53 Adam Good.

24:54 Caller I just wanted to say great show, guys. I try to listen every night I can.

24:57 Adam Thank you.

24:58 Caller All right.

24:59 Caller I guess we should just get back to my question. Basically, it has to deal with my girlfriend. She apparently has some sort of issue dealing with sex. What it comes down to is that she doesn't orgasm. When she does, it's very rarely once in a blue moon type thing.

25:18 Drew How old is she?

25:19 Caller She's 22.

25:20 Drew Is she concerned about it?

25:22 Caller Well, not really. I think she's come to the realization that that's how she works. I can accept that. That's fine. One thing that does get to me though is the fact that when it comes to sex, she has this realization that she's not going to orgasm so it's pretty much all on me. I get less and less enjoyment out of the situation, out of sex.

25:47 Drew So in other words, all the focus is on you. When you're done, the interaction is done.

25:52 Caller That's it.

25:53 Drew And what does she do? Does she get aroused by it? Is she into it?

25:56 Caller I mean she gets into it.

25:58 Adam Women aren't like guys. They can enjoy sex without the release.

26:04 Drew Isn't that bizarre?

26:05 Adam Yeah. But listen.

26:06 Drew No, really, that's a hard one to get when you're a guy.

26:09 Adam Let's not talk them out of that one, though. That's all I got. That's all I got.

26:13 Drew But really, again, that's another one of those profound differences. They really can enjoy it without an orgasm. That's bewildering.

26:19 Adam You know, it's funny, once in a while you get in a groove with a chick and it's like... so you're going at it. Then you're like, alright, do you want me to finish you off? They're like, no, that's cool. Yeah. You're like, huh?

26:38 Caller It's bewildering.

26:39 Drew It's like...

26:39 Caller People work that way. Bewildering?

26:41 Drew You're like, what's wrong?

26:42 Adam You know what I mean? You want me to finish off? They're like, no, I'm cool. I had a good time.

26:47 Caller And personally, as a guy, because I don't see that, the thing is that I always think that something is wrong and the pressure just keeps mounting and mounting to the point where at some times it becomes almost a chore because I'm almost expecting what's going to happen.

27:02 Adam Wait a minute. Hold on a second.

27:04 Drew This just doesn't sound like a great relationship, frankly.

27:07 Adam Why is the pressure mounting and mounting?

27:09 Drew Because he needs her to orgasm.

27:11 Adam It's for him to feel like that. I'm not having one. That's cool. That's me. The pressure is off.

27:16 Drew I was going to say, you should be with her.

27:18 Adam I like to find someone without a clitoris. With a vagina that wasn't hooked up.

27:24 Drew I can relate to Jason. That doesn't feel good. It's just somehow incomplete. I can see that. Really? Yeah, I can see that.

27:32 Adam I think I can get used to that.

27:33 Drew I know. Listen, you can get to the television quicker.

27:36 Adam I don't need someone to have an orgasm on me to feel good about myself.

27:39 Drew Right, and he does.

27:40 Adam Hold on, write that down, Drew. That would be a good t-shirt.

27:43 Drew Can we put that in the quotations for the day?

27:45 Adam Yeah.

27:46 Drew Thought of the day?

27:47 Adam Just relax. How old is she? She's 27.

27:50 Drew This happens a lot. I think there's a misalignment of the relationship, though, and that's why it's also out of whack. This is just one intense area where the relationship isn't working. I get the sense this whole thing isn't working for him. Take a good look at it.

28:06 Adam I got to tell you too, once I got on my airplane today from Vegas...

28:10 Drew No, you didn't go to the bathroom with Jack Off, did you?

28:13 Adam No. No. No, flight's too short.

28:16 Drew Okay.

28:17 Adam But I... How dare you? How dare you? Sat down next to a guy who had a build like Truman Capote... Uh-oh... .and got about three syllables into a conversation. You know, when people start working in stuff about themselves... They go... You know, first off, you know when people do this, they go, Well, I lived in DC for a while, but I had to leave there. Like, you couldn't just say you lived in DC for a while, but you moved to LA. You had to leave there. And see, my problem is I don't want the follow up.

28:51 Drew Yeah, you're already going, Oh, God, you want to get up and leave.

28:53 Adam So he goes, he goes, and this is... Just imagine the look on my face. He goes, I'm conservative, I'm Democrat, I'm gay, I'm Catholic, and a militant nonsmoker, and I had to get out of that town, and I'm like, Christ, I got to get out of this plane. Ironically.

29:09 Drew You just strap a parachute on right then?

29:12 Adam Who had time for parachute? I used this skirt as a parachute. Militant nonsmoker. He had to move towns. He came to LA because of the militant nonsmoking that goes on.

29:25 Drew That's good, he found a community here.

29:27 Adam Single guy, can't just live in an apartment and not smoke yourself. You got to go out and put everyone's cigarette out for them. How does that work, that militant nonsmoking? Kate?

29:39 Hi.

29:39 Adam You're 30.

29:41 Caller Yeah, I'm 30 years old. I've been married for 8 years. My husband is just a little bit older than I am. And recently he has absolutely no sex drive. For how long? I would say 2-3 months.

29:56 Drew Has he ever been in sort of depressive like that before?

30:01 Caller No. And the thing is that I go after him and he's all for that. But then when it's my turn, he doesn't care. It's no big deal.

30:13 Drew I didn't quite get what that meant.

30:15 Adam Oral sex.

30:16 Drew Is that what that means?

30:19 Caller Anything, but mostly oral.

30:22 Drew Has this been a recent thing?

30:24 Adam I think I never just go yes, right.

30:27 Drew Has this been a recent thing where you've become the aggressor?

30:30 Caller Yes. Not so much. It's always been mutual. We've always had a really active sexual...

30:36 Drew Yeah, but you said lately you've been going after him.

30:39 Caller Right, whereas he hasn't.

30:41 Drew I understand, but is your... I know. Let me talk to her.

30:44 Adam No. I'm done with you, screwball.

30:46 Drew Let's hear that again, her no. No. Oh, my God. I will never forget that voice.

30:52 Adam Who are we talking to? Sarah?

30:53 Drew Kate.

30:55 Adam Kate's 30. She should be able to speak English by now. Why did you ask her, Drew?

31:00 Drew If she... It was a recent change where she was beginning to go after him.

31:03 Adam No, it's always been mutual.

31:06 Drew But you said that more recently you started going after him and... Right.

31:13 Adam Just everyone, just shut up. I'm done with all of you.

31:16 Drew Let me talk to her. No.

31:18 Adam Kate, just think about listening to the answers to the questions. Leave her alone. Kate, you can just smolder for a little while and we'll get back to you.

31:28 Drew Manual 36.

31:29 Caller Hi, Dr. Drew.

31:30 Drew Hello, Adam.

31:31 Adam What's happening?

31:32 Caller Hey, I want to be in your community. Somebody throw out the red carpet and flowers at your feet for your high school reunion.

31:40 Adam Oh, yeah.

31:40 Drew Are you going to one?

31:41 Adam That's what I'm looking for.

31:42 Drew What?

31:43 Adam Well, you know, my 20th reunion is coming up in like 6 months, and I'm going to need trumpeters, grape feeders, fanners.

31:51 Drew When did you talk about this?

31:53 Adam I thought I brought it up to you. We were talking about how old we were, remember?

31:58 Drew Yeah, I don't remember.

31:59 Adam Wow.

31:59 Drew I don't even listen to it all anymore.

32:02 Adam You did a whole spiel on it.

32:03 Drew On what?

32:04 Adam Because you said your 20-year medical reunion is up.

32:07 Drew Oh, yes, I do remember this.

32:08 Adam What, are you high?

32:09 Drew Yes.

32:09 Adam Remember, you used to have to study by candlelight?

32:12 Drew Yes, yes.

32:12 Adam In your one-room schoolhouse?

32:14 Drew Kerosene, kerosene lamp.

32:16 Adam Right, oh, they had kerosene back then? Manual?

32:19 Drew Recoculus.

32:20 Adam So, what's up?

32:21 Caller Yeah, so if I could get on that committee, you know...

32:23 Adam What did I say? I don't remember what I said.

32:25 Caller Oh, just somebody to throw flowers down at you, like making your way into the... into your reunion, you know, whatever hotel.

32:33 Drew He's envisioning a beautiful hotel in North Hollywood.

32:36 Adam Yeah. I appreciate that. I am going to need somebody to head that out. You're going to need some paparazzi.

32:45 Drew You need something to impress your alumni, right? You need a sort of a peanut gallery, a paparazzi.

32:50 Adam Also, do you have some Hispanic blood in you? Good, good. EEOC is making sure I hire one Mexican. I will just take care of that with you, all right? Okay. I'm going to find a black and a Korean, too. You know any? You know any that can be trusted? Yeah, I think I can round a couple of them. All right. Call back in a couple of months because I have not started putting it together yet, all right? Okay.

33:15 Caller All right.

33:19 Drew This is no Orgasm Night.

33:22 Adam Jackie?

33:23 Hello?

33:23 Adam You're 22?

33:25 Caller Yes, I am.

33:26 Adam And I'm a militant nonsmoker.

33:28 Drew Say this, no.

33:30 Caller No.

33:30 Drew Okay.

33:31 Adam All right. What's up?

33:33 Caller Basically, I used to be able to have orgasms all the time. I've been having sex since I was 16. And for some reason, for the past year, I cannot have orgasms. And I've tried masturbation because I've had friends tell me to try masturbation. And I don't like it. I don't like masturbating at all.

33:50 Drew Adam, Adam, calm down. I know it's been a long day. Just relax. Just think of a happy thought.

33:56 Caller Yeah, I think so.

34:00 Adam I'm waiting in a stream of calm water.

34:05 Drew Jackie, medication?

34:09 Caller No.

34:10 Drew You sure?

34:11 Caller Positive.

34:12 Drew No vitamins or anything funny?

34:13 Caller No.

34:14 Drew Enhalers, anything?

34:15 Caller No, nothing. I don't do drugs.

34:17 Drew Are you in a relationship, a monogamous relationship?

34:20 Caller Yes, I am.

34:21 Drew Is that maybe not going as well as it could?

34:24 Caller Well, we argue because it's just stupid little things. And he doesn't know I fake my orgasms every time.

34:33 Drew Oh, this is good.

34:34 Caller I feel bad because I don't want to tell him.

34:36 Drew You know what, Jackie? You don't feel bad. You feel pissed. You feel resentful.

34:41 Caller I do. I do get mad.

34:42 Drew I get upset.

34:43 Caller That's not fair. We go for like...

34:45 Drew And that's the orgasm turn-off button resentment. It is. And the fact that you're already having issues in the relationship. Something's wrong here.

34:55 Caller Well, because he used to actually...

34:56 Adam Hold on a second. This is one thing. I don't think I knew about before this show. Everyone knows about women faking orgasms. But what people don't realize is they get real resentful that they do it.

35:11 Drew Oh, yeah.

35:12 Adam And...

35:12 Drew You're supposed to magically know they're doing it and make them stop.

35:16 Adam Yeah. They're like kids when they're mad at their daddy.

35:19 Drew Yes.

35:19 Adam And they resent the hell out of the guy. But the guy doesn't know what's going on because she's having these great orgasms and they never come out and say anything. And it just manifests itself in different areas. It's really worse than them just never doing it at all.

35:37 Drew That's right.

35:38 Adam For the guy.

35:39 Drew Yeah.

35:39 Adam Way worse. But if it's a one night thing, that's fine.

35:44 Drew That's better.

35:44 Adam Yeah. Jackie?

35:46 Caller Yes.

35:47 Adam Okay. Let me ask you a question about your faking. I know you're about to say something, but hold that thought for one second.

35:53 Caller Go ahead.

35:54 Adam Now, when I fake my orgasms, what I do is I break them up a little bit. You know what I'm saying? Once in a while, like one out of every nine, I say, I can't get there.

36:07 Caller Right.

36:07 Adam It adds an element of realism and a challenge for the guy next time around.

36:12 Caller Right.

36:12 Adam What do you say to that? Do you do that? No. You're not that smooth. You fake every time.

36:19 Caller I fake every time.

36:20 Adam Hold one.

36:22 Caller Isn't that so sad?

36:23 Adam Yes. You should hold one. Yeah, but don't be mad at him.

36:26 Caller Well, I'm not really mad at him. I'm just wondering why I can't because I used to be able to with him. And then so I was like, well, maybe I need to masturbate. And so I've tried it like everywhere in the shower. And I've even tried like, you know how they have the detachable shower head. My friend's like, that feels really good when you put it on you.

36:39 Adam Yeah.

36:40 Caller And then like, you know, whatever.

36:42 Adam Did you really have to finish off with the put it on you? Couldn't have just talking about masturbation.

36:47 Drew I love when people say women are taught not to touch themselves. That's why they do. I'm sitting in the car in the shower. I put it on myself everywhere.

36:55 Caller Well, my mom's seriously against masturbation. So maybe that's my problem. I feel bad when I'm doing it, but I'd rather have a guy there. You know what I'm saying? I'd just rather have someone there.

37:02 Drew Yeah, that's sort of typical.

37:04 Caller I'd rather have sex rather than.

37:05 Drew All right, Jackie. But I think as we touched on a few minutes ago, you'll excuse the expression, there is problems in this relationship. You're developing resentments. You're angry. You're fighting. You're shut down sexually. And that is your body telling you there's something wrong in this relationship. But that's normal. Deal with the relationship. Or finish it. Get something better for yourself.

37:25 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a break. Kate, whoever our caller was that I think the cool off hung up. I know. I feel bad.

37:33 Drew You should.

37:34 Adam Well, a little bit.

37:34 Drew What was she calling you about?

37:37 Adam You were asking her more about orgasms. No, no. Her husband had a drop. She was chasing her husband around.

37:44 Drew My question was, that didn't work for her. And maybe he really liked that and was just becoming more passive into this change in the dynamic in their relationship.

37:52 Adam Usually guys just sort of slow it down.

37:55 Drew It's possible he's at an age where he could be going through waxing and waning desire levels. And we didn't even get to ask the questions about medication, that kind of thing.

38:02 Adam Okay, well let's just say this. A lot of people think their partner is cheating when he calms down sexually. And when he cools down.

38:12 Drew No, it's the other way around.

38:14 Adam Yeah. First off, the libido knows no bounds. If he's got enough libido to go out and bang someone else, he's got plenty of juice left for you, too. I'm not saying he gets home that night after just pulling out and pushing into you. But believe me, he's got it going for you, too. Also he's not going to want to do anything that's going to arouse suspicions and make you say, Are you cheating? How come we're not having sex?

38:37 Drew If anything is doubling down.

38:39 Adam That's right. So he ain't cheating. Maybe it's the meds. Maybe he's getting old. Or maybe he's just slid into some kind of comfort zone and you got to talk to him about it. That was for Kate. When we come back, we'll speak to Angel. Always trouble with that name. Angel?

38:57 Caller Hi.

38:58 Adam You're thinking about moving back to England?

39:00 Caller Yes.

39:00 Adam To be with your abusive husband?

39:03 Caller Yes.

39:03 Drew Where's my bourbon?

39:04 Adam I give it my blessing. Hold on.

39:07 Caller Okay.

39:08 Adam Is he an English guy?

39:09 Caller Yes, he is.

39:11 Adam How abusive can those pussies actually be?

39:14 Caller My abusive.

39:15 Adam Really?

39:16 Drew All right.

39:16 Adam Hold on a second.

39:17 Caller Okay.

39:19 Drew He's one of those big working class guys.

39:21 Adam Oh, yeah.

39:22 Drew Who do the soccer games and stuff. Yeah.

39:24 Adam Yeah. You know, the English, you know what the English are like?

39:27 Drew They're like the Israelis.

39:27 Adam They're like the Jews. Two versions. That's right. Super wussy, nebbish, bookworm, super hebe, or Achille with piano wire, Israeli commando.

39:40 Drew Right.

39:42 Adam That dude.

39:42 Drew And the British?

39:44 Adam British same dude. Super crumpet-eating moustache, waxing, pinky, hanging, wrist-dangling homo or crazy cockney, toothless, coal-mining, ass-kicking rugby player. Nothing in between. Nothing. We'll take a break. There you go. Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Drew, are you getting a lot of sleep lately or what's going on?

40:14 Drew I'm getting manic.

40:15 Adam You're getting manic?

40:16 Drew Yeah.

40:17 Adam You first hunk my ass off during these breaks.

40:21 Drew I've been listening and reading some interesting stuff and it's things we've been wondering about for a long time. We're starting to form a unified theory about it.

40:29 Adam Drew, haven't you learned anything from the repeated meetings we've had with the program director of this show? Keep your opinions to yourself. All right? All right, let's get to some calls.

40:41 Drew Are you listening to Drew at all?

40:42 Adam No, when he's talking?

40:44 Caller We've been looking in there and Drew's just jawn away and you're sitting reading magazines.

40:48 Adam He's really passionate. Well, I try to give Drew that don't bother me look, but it doesn't slow him down.

40:54 Drew What?

40:55 Adam Drew doesn't look at me when I'm going either, although I force him to.

40:58 Drew Yeah.

40:59 Adam I'm hearing what he has to say.

41:01 Drew He's interested in his own uninterested world.

41:03 Adam This one's not exactly coming home for me, but in this latest theory, it's not bad.

41:08 Drew It's almost there.

41:09 Adam It's almost there. What I'm really more interested in is who crapped up the bathroom.

41:15 Drew Adam ran out screaming, like a little...

41:18 Adam It is a mess. A mess in there. Who did that? Somebody did that. I didn't crap it up from here. It is a goddamn mess in there. It's funny when you... I did that today. You're looking for the signs. You walk in, you crack the door up first, like... Why is the door shut? And listen, you way holes that shut the bathroom door when you leave? What the hell is that? These people should be beaten. There's a plan. Let's hold the S-smell in there for as long as possible. She just... she just wrapped the vent with Saran wrap so none of it can get out.

41:56 Drew There also is that other maneuver, the telltale sign with the door closed and the fan on.

42:02 Adam Door closed, not a great idea. You open up. Plus the other thing is, you come to a bathroom where the door is closed, you think someone is in there. You're like knocking on it. You think some guy is crapping it up.

42:14 Drew That's what happened earlier.

42:15 Caller When I got here I had to go to the bathroom but it was closed so I didn't go in.

42:17 Drew I went to the girl's...

42:18 Adam You end up standing around for ten minutes and then eventually you realize either the guy died on the pot like Elvis or no one is in there. Don't close the bathroom door behind you. No need for that.

42:28 Drew Elvis died on the pot? Yeah.

42:30 Adam You know he died on the Graceland throne? Interesting, Drew. That's right. What you don't know, we could fit into a grand canyon, Drew. Angel?

42:43 Hi.

42:43 Adam You're 23? Oh yeah, that's right. You've got the abusive English husband, right?

42:48 Caller Right.

42:48 Drew Or ex-husband, right?

42:49 Adam Ex-husband.

42:50 Caller Well, we're separated at the moment. I moved back to America on December 7th.

42:56 Drew What were you doing over there?

42:58 Caller I lived there for a year. I had a marriage visa.

43:01 Drew So you met him over here?

43:03 Caller No. I moved to England when I was three months pregnant. And I married him in October.

43:12 Drew Angel?

43:13 Caller Right. Yeah.

43:14 Adam What were you doing over there?

43:16 Caller No. Actually, I met him in 1998 in Florida. My mom lived in Florida. And I met him on vacation with my friend. And him and three of his friends were there. And I basically met him that way. We were just friends, you know. We corresponded on the Internet and through the phone and letters. Four or five months of that, he had come back to America to see me. And just like that, we were just friends or whatever. And after about, you know, four or five more months, this is a year gone by now, it started getting serious. And I started going to England every two months.

43:56 Drew Then you got pregnant, then you went over there and you married him.

43:58 Caller No, I didn't get pregnant until August 1999. I met him December 1999.

44:05 Drew Then you got pregnant, then you went over there and you married him.

44:07 Caller I got pregnant. I come home.

44:10 Adam Actually, I don't mean to correct you because I don't have great grammar either, but I come home. It's not I come home, it's I come home.

44:20 Caller Yeah.

44:20 Adam Sorry, go ahead.

44:21 Caller It's late here. It's 3 o'clock in the morning. I went over there and conceived my daughter, if you will. He was quite abusive and beat me pretty badly.

44:35 Drew So prior to that, he had never been abusive?

44:37 Caller Oh yeah.

44:38 Drew He's always been abusive?

44:40 Caller Yes.

44:40 Drew That's when you really started pursuing him and became hellbent on marriage, huh?

44:44 Caller No, I didn't. I only married him because I was four months pregnant. He did odd. I was pregnant. I called him and told him I was pregnant.

44:52 Drew Alright, listen. So what's happening now?

44:55 Caller Well basically what's going on now is, like I said, I came back to America December 7th. After taking four years of abuse, I was through the court system. I had a lawyer over there. Since my daughter was born there, I had to get his permission to leave with my daughter. With four years of abuse, I had 39 police reports and he was arrested four times for assaulting me and the judge fined permission for me to allow, to take my daughter back home to America. I came back home. He followed me here to where I live in Kentucky. He came here and he abused me here and I had to call the police, whatever, and he left. Now he keeps calling and threatening. He's going to kidnap my daughter and he called me last night and told me if I wasn't coming back that if I ever did he would beat me, you know, crap out of me.

45:49 Drew What's the question, Angel?

45:51 Caller Well, it's, I really don't know what to do because...

45:56 Drew Just stay right there. File a report for him threatening you and that's it. Make sure he can't come into this country.

46:04 Caller Yeah, but the thing is, he brainwashes me.

46:09 Drew Well, that's fine.

46:10 Adam Hold on a second. First off, she needs to find her dad and kick him in the nuts for screwing her up.

46:20 Drew Yep.

46:20 Adam What the hell is up with her? Want to talk to her some more? A little bit more. I got to tell you, Max, I kind of like her to leave the country. Don't go to England. This guy's abusive, but at least go to Canada. Just clear out, would you? Save us some money. Call the cops and the whole mess.

46:38 Drew That was all in England.

46:39 Adam There's out here, too, as soon as he comes out. Billy, show her a couple of other guys. There's got to be more cops. We'll take a quick break. We'll finish up with Angel after this. Hey, yo, Loveline, I'm Adam. That's my good partner, on and on again, off again, lover over there. Hey, hour into the show, and he sucks the mic for the first time. That's a new record, Drew. Circle that date on the calendar.

47:26 Drew Yep, kind of better my last, probably.

47:28 Adam I was having a talk with Drew during the break about, I saw that Black Hawk Down movie.

47:33 Drew How was it?

47:34 Adam That was pretty good. Probably not as good as everyone says, but good enough. About that uprising in Rwanda or some warlords. Somalia? Somalia. That's right, Somalia. Whatever, we had to go there and kick a little ass. You know, there's a couple of things I like about that movie. We killed like a thousand or two thousand of them. We lost eighteen guys. That's a disaster. That's a military disaster as far as we go. I mean, we're not talking about, we're not talking about one guy for every ten guys they lost. One for every hundred. It's a disaster. Think about that. That's good news. Number two, as I learned, you know, all these crap ball countries were beating the crap out of constantly, whether in the Middle East or Africa or wherever the hell they are. They're not much at fighting those folks. They were talking about how tough they are, but we always kick their ass all the time. It's like Afghanistan. Oh, these people are very tough. They'll never give up. Oh, yeah? Oh, good. They don't have to give up. We'll just bury them with 2,000 pound bombs. We don't need to discuss that with them. But what I discovered from this blackout, you know, when the helicopter goes down, they get hold of that pilot corpse. They really know what to do with a corpse.

48:50 Drew They kick it and beat it.

48:52 Adam They cut the head off. They put on a stick. They run it around the town. They drag it apart. They, kids jump on it. I am saying, here's why I'm winning. I know I beat up on these countries a lot. They may be horrible fighters, but they really know what to do with a corpse. I mean, they may only kill one out of every thousand of them that we kill, but once they get that one, man do they know what to do with it. They really kick the ass out of a corpse in these countries. And I'm wondering if that's part of the training. Perhaps they're spending a little too much time on that aspect of the training and not enough with actual collecting of corpses. See, I think what we do, our mistake possibly, is we focus too much on collecting the corpses, not enough what to do after. If they were a football team, they would focus solely on the touchdown celebration, but not any of the offensive alignments. Which the problem is, of course, the catch way too is you don't score then, you don't get to use the celebration. But once in a while, helicopter or something goes down, and boy, it is game on. Cut that head off, put it on a stick, kick it around, carried around. I mean, they just dismember stuff. They're really good at that. So I made my hats off. But like I said, maybe a little more focus on the actual fighting part, a little less on the celebration with the corpse. That's all. Over here though, we're woefully inadequate on what to do with the corpse. We send them back. We bury them. We don't do anything good. There's a time when we cut some scalps off or some earlobes or something like that. Let me get back into that. Angel?

50:29 Caller Yeah.

50:30 Adam So, yeah, abusive husband and all that stuff.

50:32 Drew Abusive dad.

50:33 Adam What about your dad?

50:35 Caller What about him?

50:36 Adam What about him?

50:38 Caller He's no good.

50:40 Drew No kidding.

50:41 Adam There you go. All right. So now you got to have a crappy dad. Now you got a crappy dad for your child.

50:47 Caller Right. Exactly.

50:48 Adam Fantastic.

50:49 Caller Unfortunately, yeah.

50:50 Adam Well, that's all right. But you want to go back and get a little more crap for that kid so they can marry a crappy person.

50:57 Caller That's not exactly what I had in mind. Do you know what I mean? Because at the end of the day, I want what's best for my daughter.

51:03 Drew You want to do what's best for your daughter? Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. You said you want to do what's best for your daughter? Well, get rid of it and keep this guy out of the country and out of your life. Well, wait a minute. I thought you... You want to do what's best for your daughter? Right. Okay. That's what's best for your daughter. All right.

51:24 Caller He's calling my house.

51:25 Adam Oh, wait a minute. Hold on, Drew. I didn't know he was calling. You're saying he's using the phone?

51:30 Caller I'm sorry?

51:31 Adam You say he's using the phone? Yeah. Well, that's different. Well, then you got to-

51:35 Caller He doesn't come here at any time. I mean, I've got a lawyer here and a lawyer over there. I'm trying to sort something out where he's not allowed to come back here. But they keep telling me that basically it's his daughter too. Even though I have full custody of her, I haven't actually, I've just separated from him. I haven't legally divorced him. All right.

51:55 Drew Well, so go ahead and divorce.

51:57 Caller Yeah. I'm trying to work on that.

51:59 Drew Well, how much work does that take?

52:02 Caller Well, I've called someone, actually, the lawyer I have here. But I called her and she's supposed to get back to me. So you know how that goes.

52:10 Drew No. No, no, no. If you really wanted to divorce, you'd get it.

52:15 Caller Yeah, but I've called the lady and I...

52:17 Adam All right. Well, again, if you put a phone call in, then what are you going to do? If she doesn't call back, you can never get divorced. Better hope something didn't happen to her phone, Angel. What's up with you, baby? I know your dad was a piece of ass, but... What happened?

52:32 Caller To my dad.

52:33 Drew What did he do to you?

52:35 Caller No, my dad didn't do anything to me. He just done it to my mom.

52:38 Drew Beat the crap out of her?

52:39 Caller No, he cheated on my mom.

52:41 Adam Yeah, that's not enough. What happened to you? What's up?

52:45 Caller I've never forgiven. When my parents first divorced, I planned on my mom, and I was really mean to my mom.

52:52 Drew How old were you?

52:53 Caller I was 10, because I was daddy's little girl. I always wanted to be around my dad, and then he dissed me straight up.

53:01 Drew Did he leave?

53:03 Caller Yeah, he left.

53:03 Drew And that was the end of it? He was just gone?

53:05 Caller No, I mean, he just left in his way, but he's like, he don't want to be in contact with me or my brother. He's remarried, and I don't know.

53:15 Adam What's the situation? Does your dad have money?

53:17 Caller Yeah, he does, yeah.

53:19 Adam Hold on a second. I'm trying to get a read on Angel. First, I got Deliverance-type hillbilly. Then I got sort of weird ethnic hillbilly. That weird white person when they listen to too much rap. And it's weird. They go, homeboy diss me straight up. It's like you can't even understand it. Yeah, homeboy in the hizzay. It's like it's confusing. And then you start hearing about her. So I'm picturing her playing a cider jug on some porch in a swamp in Florida. Then she starts talking about going back and forth to England all the time. And I'm going, where'd she get that money? And then she's retaining lawyers in the UK and in the United States. And I'm going, where's this money coming from? No, she's not making it. So what is she doing? Is she stripping? Is her daddy giving her money? She doesn't have any contact with him. Where are you getting your money, Angel?

54:26 Caller Actually, believe it or not, my husband, he has actually already paid for me to renew my visa and both me and my daughter's tickets. That's why I feel forced to go.

54:36 Adam No, no, no. But where? He's paying for your lawyer too?

54:40 Caller No, that, see, because I was over there and he was abusing me, I got 15,000 pounds worth of free legal aid through a lawyer, a solicitor. Over here, when I got back to America, I did the same thing because I was single, I was separated, I have a 9-month-old daughter, I went to free legal aid.

54:58 Caller Okay, all right, all right.

54:59 Caller My dad has never done nothing for me. If I had done for her...

55:02 Adam Okay, baby, I know you hate, I know you hate the guy, but...

55:04 Caller I hate him.

55:05 Adam Okay, baby, I understand that, but you're going to infuse all that hatred into your kid? Boy or girl?

55:11 Caller Girl.

55:12 Adam Oh, good, good. You're going to stripping. He won't be a violent fella.

55:16 Caller He better not.

55:17 Adam Good. You stay away from this guy, screwball. You start focusing on that kid. I'm sorry you got issues with your dad, but your mama now and you can't put your kid in harm's way.

55:26 Drew You can't act out your crap in such a way that it spills over onto your kid.

55:30 Adam Time to grow up.

55:31 Caller I don't want to blame her, do you know what I'm talking about?

55:33 Adam Hey, hey. Don't even begin to think about going back to this evil limey.

55:37 Caller Right.

55:38 Adam All right? It's your kid. You think about that kid.

55:41 Drew Get the divorce. She doesn't need him around. She's not going to react the way you did when she gets... When you divorce your husband, this is going to be a relief for your daughter. Instead of her being pissed off, she's going to be relieved.

55:53 Adam Whenever I hear a woman announce she's a great mother, it's always sort of ironic. The real good moms never announce they're good moms.

56:02 Drew No. Plus, most are 14 when they're telling us that. I'm a great mom.

56:07 Adam I'm a great mama. All righty. I know a lot of our listeners may have been confused by a statement that Angel made, which is she said that she got 15,000 pounds of free legal advice. I know a lot of folks are going, seven and a half tons of free legal advice? No, that's a unit that they use. That's a currency over there.

56:35 Drew The one they use instead of the Euro.

56:37 Adam That's right, that's right. Good point, Drew. Is that Euro in?

56:40 Drew It's in.

56:41 Adam Bill? Yeah. 27, what's up?

56:43 Caller Not much, man. How's it going?

56:45 Adam Good. Good times.

56:46 Caller I love your guys' show.

56:47 Adam Thank you.

56:48 Caller And The Man Show. And where's the MTV one? I missed that one, too.

56:51 Drew Call MTV, ask them.

56:52 Caller Damn, those MTV people.

56:53 Caller Whatever.

56:56 Caller Anyway, you're a big fan of Lidsville, right?

56:59 Adam No, I wouldn't say a big fan.

57:01 Drew We just like that Sid and Marty Croft stuff.

57:03 Adam Yeah, I just can't believe how high those guys were. And someone gave money to make a TV show.

57:08 Drew Multiple TV shows.

57:10 Caller Now they're giving them more money. They're putting out a DVD. The World of Sid and Marty Croft.

57:16 Drew Oh, more.

57:16 Caller You, too, can relive your past on DVD.

57:19 Drew Is that what the headline is?

57:21 Caller Yeah, I'm just throwing that in there. But for $49.95, you can watch all of the 60s through 80s Reagan era and psychedelic 60s stuff.

57:29 Drew Now let's just pour through some of those titles because it's got to be the Banana Split. I've got them right here. Banana Split's got to be in there.

57:34 Caller Uh, let's see.

57:36 Adam No, the Banana Split.

57:36 Caller I can read them out for you.

57:37 Drew What's the website? HR Puff and Stuff.

57:39 Caller HR Puff and Stuff, Woodsville, Bugaloos, Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, Far Out Space Nuts, Delos Saucer, Electra Woman and Diner Girl.

57:50 Adam Hold on, that show gave me a boner, that Electra Woman and Diner Girl.

57:54 Caller It is a pretty good show. Wonder Bug, Magic Mango, or yeah, Mongo, Bigfoot and Wild Boy in Friar's Place.

58:02 Adam Now, we're getting too current, but the Far Out Space Nuts. That was with Bob Denver from Gilligan's Island.

58:09 Caller Yeah.

58:10 Caller What did they do?

58:11 Adam It was a Far Out Space Nut.

58:13 Drew As it were, they were like big...

58:14 Adam They got stuck. No, they were like lost and floating around in a spaceship. And Chuck McCann, the guy from the Hi Guy. Remember that guy? Seventy pounds of forehead on him.

58:27 Drew Poor Bob Denver.

58:28 Adam Yeah. Hey, thanks, Bill. You know what I got to say? If you look at those shows now, you just realize those guys were blasted out of their mind on mushrooms, or at least mushrooms. And those shows are just pure crap. Just crap.

58:44 Drew You can't blame Sid and Marty Kravd. It's the guys from Bothell.

58:48 Adam They were just super high and they just started doing stuff.

58:50 Drew And laughing. Just getting there giggling.

58:52 Adam Go back and watch one of those Sigmund and the Sea Monsters or Far Out Space. Just beyond crap. Just beyond.

59:01 Drew I have no idea what you guys are talking about. Really? You never heard of the stuff? I've heard the song. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. So have you.

59:10 Adam Mate, you never heard of Lidsville?

59:12 Caller Only from you.

59:13 Adam Only from me. Really? But you know Anderson, I know you have a lot of bravado when you say that. When you boldly announce stuff you never heard of on the air.

59:23 Caller I'm just informing you.

59:24 Adam Alright, but you know you understand you have a little deficit in that department.

59:28 Drew In the culture department? I didn't watch a lot of TV.

59:30 Adam No, I mean you haven't heard of many things.

59:33 Caller That's all I'm saying.

59:34 Adam I haven't heard of it. Yes, absolutely.

59:36 Drew Tara's never heard of it.

59:39 Adam Tara's lucky she knows her last name. This whole show is chock full of people that don't know things. Rwanda?

59:48 Drew Me, I'm here. Thank you. I know everything except for that ten year period. Alright. I'm excused for 1982 to 1992, something like that.

1:00:00 Adam Tara knows or has heard of almost nothing. Producer Ann knows less. Anderson has his moments in his fields of expertise, but generally, I've explained to him many things that he's not heard of. And it's not like I'm 25 years older, anyway. How old are you, Anderson?

1:00:19 Caller 28.

1:00:20 Adam I'm not ten years older than you. And, Drew, I understand there are certain things that are in certain people's wheelhouse, but you know of things that are ten years before your time, do you not?

1:00:32 Drew I think.

1:00:33 Adam I mean, you've heard of Jack Parr.

1:00:34 Drew Right.

1:00:35 Adam He was the original before Johnny Carson. I don't know Jack Parr, I'm not familiar with all the episodes he did, but I'm aware of him. That's all I'm saying.

1:00:47 Drew I know how Elvis died. Oh, I didn't.

1:00:49 Adam He died on the crapper, right?

1:00:51 Drew Yeah, Bobcat says that's how we know he didn't fake his death.

1:00:57 Adam Bobcat is a funny guy, yeah. That's true. Why would you do that?

1:01:01 Drew Where's Bobcat been lately? I was thinking about that today.

1:01:03 Adam He died in a sword fight.

1:01:06 Drew Right.

1:01:06 Adam All right.

1:01:07 Drew Where's Bobcat been?

1:01:08 Adam Where's Bobcat? I don't know. He called my office two days ago, actually.

1:01:15 Drew Is he ready to produce you guys again?

1:01:17 Adam He's going to work for the Man Show.

1:01:19 Drew I'm going to get him up here.

1:01:20 Adam Okay. Matt?

1:01:23 Drew Matt?

1:01:24 Yes?

1:01:26 Caller Yes.

1:01:28 I was widowed a couple of years ago. Unacceptable.

1:01:30 Adam What's up with your phone?

1:01:32 It's a cell phone.

1:01:33 Drew No. No, it isn't. It's a speaker.

1:01:38 Adam I'll go with the cell phone.

1:01:39 Drew I go with the speaker sometimes.

1:01:40 Adam Why would he lie? Where are you, Matt?

1:01:46 I'm in my room.

1:01:48 Drew On a cell phone?

1:01:51 Adam Why are you on your cell phone in your room?

1:01:53 Well, I don't have a house. Why did you use a cell phone?

1:01:57 Adam All right. Keep going.

1:02:00 Anyway, I was with it a couple of years ago. I was wondering, I was kind of asking the question, when is it good to just get back in and start dating again? I mean...

1:02:11 Adam How did your wife die?

1:02:13 She got appendicitis and it developed into peritonitis and she passed away from that.

1:02:21 Drew Wow.

1:02:21 Adam That's that's tragic.

1:02:23 Drew That's also hard to do. Did she just not go to the doctor for a long time?

1:02:27 Adam No.

1:02:27 They removed it, but they didn't basically clean everything out or something and it just developed.

1:02:33 Drew That usually causes abscesses. That doesn't cause overwhelming sepsis.

1:02:38 Adam What do you think? He's making this up?

1:02:40 Caller No.

1:02:41 It did get abscesses, but again, every time they went back in a couple of times and it just kept developing and then...

1:02:50 Drew I see.

1:02:51 Caller All right.

1:02:51 Drew So it kept getting worse and worse.

1:02:52 Adam Drew, please. How dare you? This is too much specific information.

1:02:56 Drew Just curious.

1:02:58 Adam No, you're not curious. You're raising a skeptical brow to this. I'm sorry, man. I apologize for Drew. So this was how long ago?

1:03:10 Drew Two years.

1:03:12 Two years.

1:03:13 Adam Well, that must have been devastating. I think the answer is whenever you're ready to go is when you should go. I'd say two years has been long enough.

1:03:22 Well, but my friends always say I make excuses when we go out and such. You know, they've been taking me places like bars and stuff and I'm just saying, well, I don't like them. And they say, well, you're just making an excuse. You know, you got to get on with your life. So, I mean, I want to meet people. It's just I feel that the people I'm meeting now, I don't know, it's just weird getting back in the game. I mean, you know, I've been, it's been five years. I mean, the three years I was married and then two years.

1:03:54 Adam All right, all right.

1:03:54 Drew But it's not a lot like you're 74. I mean, you're 29.

1:03:57 Caller Yeah.

1:03:58 Adam All right.

1:03:59 Drew It shouldn't be that.

1:03:59 Adam What do you do for a living?

1:04:01 Caller I'm a scientist.

1:04:03 Adam How's that going? Have you invented anything good?

1:04:06 Caller No, I work in labs, stuff like that. I work on chromatin structures, DNA stuff.

1:04:12 Caller Boring.

1:04:15 Adam Yeah, that's pretty good for what our list is. Okay, so you're not going to meet anybody at work?

1:04:23 Caller Just a couple of people in the lab. I mean, I don't get a lot of interaction with people at work.

1:04:27 Adam Hey, aren't you and your friends?

1:04:31 Caller Yeah, I have friends.

1:04:33 Adam Are they pissed off about you not having a phone?

1:04:37 Caller No, they call me on my cell phone.

1:04:39 Adam They drive nuts, huh? Alright, are you looking for a place to meet women?

1:04:47 Drew Are you looking for approval of going ahead and just beginning to date again? Do you feel guilty?

1:04:56 Caller Kind of, but at the same time, as I said, I feel that the people I've been meeting, they're not meeting my interests.

1:05:02 Adam Alright, well listen, here's the problem. This guy is a scientist and he's going out to a crusty onion to meet some skanks who chew gum and smoke and eat deep fried calamari at the same time.

1:05:21 Drew But no, he's in Colorado. He's eating, they're eating, where they call those, the, what do they call it, the Rocky Mountain Oysters.

1:05:31 Adam I was going to say that, but that's not just Colorado, that's everywhere.

1:05:34 Drew Wyoming, Colorado, that's where they really eat, that's the...

1:05:36 Adam No.

1:05:38 Drew Wyoming, they eat it.

1:05:38 Adam They don't serve that at chain places, do they?

1:05:41 Drew Wyoming, everywhere. I swear to God.

1:05:45 Adam Like the airport?

1:05:46 Drew Like the airport. You go to a bar?

1:05:49 Adam You go to a movie theater, Wyoming? You go to a big box? You go to a lot of nuts?

1:05:53 Drew Every bar, every... In any place they're frying things, they're frying the oysters.

1:05:58 Adam Alright. Let's take a break. Alright. When we come back, who we got to speak to?

1:06:06 Drew How about Scott? Up there. Yeah.

1:06:10 Adam He'll just keep rolling.

1:06:11 Drew Alright. He keeps breaking condoms. What could be the problem?

1:06:14 Adam Really? That's it, huh?

1:06:16 Drew Well, yes.

1:06:17 Adam Okay. After this, talk to the exciting young Scotty.

1:06:21 Drew Yeah.

1:06:28 Adam Here we go. Hey, everybody, Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew.

1:06:33 Drew Anderson, I'm defending you in there.

1:06:35 Adam Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:06:39 Caller All right.

1:06:39 Drew Am I making my point, though?

1:06:41 Adam No. Let's keep going. Scott?

1:06:45 Caller Hey, how you doing tonight, guy?

1:06:46 Adam Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, crap.

1:06:48 Caller You make it sound like I'm stupid, Adam, with what you said.

1:06:51 Drew Yeah.

1:06:53 Caller I got a problem, man.

1:06:55 Adam Yeah, buddy. I go, I don't believe them already.

1:06:59 Drew I don't either, but let's see.

1:07:00 Caller Look, like the last two girls I've been with, the first girl, like, I don't know, the condom just broke, like right off the bat, you know? And I started thinking because she didn't really get that wet. So I thought maybe it was that, you know, and this last girl I was with, like, she's wet, you know? And, you know, we use lube sometimes and it just broke. And I've tried, like, Magnum condoms, they fit and I'll do that.

1:07:24 Drew Do you put them on properly? Do you roll the tip down before you put it on?

1:07:30 Caller Yeah, and I pinch, squeeze the tips with no airs in there. I mean, I've been having sex for a lot of years and I've never really had a problem.

1:07:36 Adam What's your hypothesis, Scott?

1:07:38 Drew What do you think of it?

1:07:39 Caller I have no idea.

1:07:40 Drew How about just bad luck? Random events segregate non-randomly. Things come on in series. Maybe this was your run of bad luck.

1:07:45 Adam Do you have...

1:07:46 Caller It's the last two girls, you know?

1:07:48 Adam Yeah, big deal. Twice in a row. Well, what is it? What do you want? You want to be some native or something? Some what? I just mean stuff happens. And sometimes it happens two days in a row. But that doesn't mean that that's the direction it's going. It just means you had a little run there.

1:08:07 Drew You don't need to make a sacrifice to the volcano god.

1:08:10 Adam That's what I'm saying. Listen, here's what I'm saying. You can sit down in Vegas and play Black Jack for an hour, and within that hour, you can get 21 twice in a row. Or you can have the dealer beat you on a five-card turn four times in a row. It's completely random stuff, but it does, like Drew said, it'll come in a series sometimes.

1:08:34 Drew Always. In fact, when you're assessing whether...

1:08:38 Adam Well, that's the only time you notice it.

1:08:40 Drew This is what screws people up in terms of their superstitions. When you're using mathematical tests to decide whether something is truly random or not, you have to look for... There has to be enough series. You have to see series. If you flip a coin 30 times, it's not going to be heads, tails, heads, tails, heads, tails, heads, tails, it's heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, tails, heads, tails, tails, tails, heads, tails, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads. This does give me a chance to grandstand about this a little bit. You live in San Jose, in California now, you can get emergency contraception without a prescription. Just go to a pharmacy, call 1-800-NOT-TOO-LATE if you want to know where to get a prescription or get the medication. I am working with some of the state coalitions to try to find a way to improve the distribution and availability of EC.

1:09:33 Adam Yeah, me too, except for the part about working with the state coalitions. Matt? Yeah. You're 19?

1:09:40 Caller Yes, I am. And I was kind of faked out just a few minutes ago. You were talking to a Matt from Colorado.

1:09:45 Caller So am I.

1:09:46 Drew Oh, all right. Is it not true that you can get fried the Rocky Mountain oysters all over the place in Wyoming, right?

1:09:52 Caller All over the place, yeah, but I've never had them myself.

1:09:54 Caller He's calling from Colorado.

1:09:55 Drew I understand, but I'm making the point. I'm sure he's been.

1:09:57 Caller Well, that's where they're born, here in the Rocky Mountains, Colorado. Rocky Mountain oysters.

1:10:02 Adam Right. Why are you putting Wyoming and Colorado together? Are they together?

1:10:08 Drew They're right next to each other.

1:10:09 Caller About, yeah, Cheyenne's about it.

1:10:10 Adam Oh, I'm pointing to, I'm pointing to, oh, I was pointing to Idaho.

1:10:14 Drew Oh, no, I'm sorry. No, no, no.

1:10:16 Adam All right, sorry about that.

1:10:18 Drew Wyoming is more of the, no.

1:10:19 Adam Yeah, I swapped Wyoming and Idaho. Go ahead there, man.

1:10:24 Caller Okay, first of all, I'd just like to say Dr. Drew, you're a genius.

1:10:27 Adam I compliment you.

1:10:27 Caller Adam, you rock. I love you, man.

1:10:29 Adam Whatever. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

1:10:31 Caller And I'd love to be an announcer for you when you go to your high school.

1:10:36 Drew The high school thing again.

1:10:37 Adam All right, thanks, there, man.

1:10:39 Drew Don't fly yet, don't worry.

1:10:41 Caller I've been with my girlfriend for about three months, I mean nine months, and everything is going pretty good, except I've been having feelings for this guy that's actually attracted to me, and I want to know what's causing these same-sex feelings and if I should tell my girlfriend about it.

1:11:00 Drew Well, the reason...

1:11:04 Adam I'm going to put him on hold for a second.

1:11:05 Drew I'm going to sneeze. Hang on.

1:11:06 Adam You're going to sneeze?

1:11:07 Drew Yeah.

1:11:08 Adam Oh, you want to cover my cough up?

1:11:10 Drew No. The reason I don't believe him, I don't want to make little of it because it felt like it was real, but what is it crying to him that would have caused him to tell his girlfriend anything? You know what I'm saying?

1:11:23 Adam Like I have same-sex feelings, I went out of this relationship.

1:11:28 Drew Right, should I get out of the relationship is an appropriate question, but should I tell my girlfriend? What is he trying to ask us? You know what I mean? That's not a question to ask somebody when you have this kind of a dilemma.

1:11:38 Adam Yeah, but maybe you want to give. It's like when you quit a job, when you do anything, you want to go, I'm moving.

1:11:47 Drew Yeah, you want to tell her that you're done, for sure.

1:11:50 Adam No, but what it means is you want to give her something.

1:11:52 Drew I'm telling her, okay?

1:11:54 Adam Well, not here again. Oh, I see what you're saying. No, people, when they break something off, whatever it is, it's nice to be loaded up with a reason when you go in there and drop that bomb.

1:12:07 Drew All right. I'll keep talking to him, because I actually do believe this. I just don't understand that question.

1:12:12 Caller Well, the reason why I have that question is because I kind of feel like she should know, like she has the right to know.

1:12:19 Adam No, I don't believe her.

1:12:21 Drew Yeah.

1:12:22 Caller Well, I'm serious.

1:12:25 Adam Go ahead and yell whatever you got to yell.

1:12:27 Caller Sorry.

1:12:28 Adam Do you got anything?

1:12:30 Drew You don't want to yell anything out?

1:12:32 Caller No, I'm really serious.

1:12:34 Adam All right.

1:12:35 Caller I feel like I'm in a dilemma.

1:12:37 Drew Why don't you? Have you ever had feelings for a guy before?

1:12:42 Caller Probably about a year ago.

1:12:44 Drew Same guy?

1:12:45 Caller No, this was actually my best friend.

1:12:47 Drew All right. So you've sort of been experiencing these kinds of feelings. Have you ever acted on them?

1:12:53 Caller No, I've never acted on them, but I want to. So I feel like I'm getting really close to it with this guy.

1:13:00 Drew Then you need to break up with your girlfriend. That's it. Whether or not you tell her why, I mean, Adam seems to think you should. My thing is it really doesn't matter.

1:13:10 Adam No, I don't.

1:13:11 Drew She'll find out eventually anyway.

1:13:13 Adam I don't think by any circumstances there's ever a time when you can justify telling the truth. Don't get me wrong, Drew.

1:13:22 Drew No, I know.

1:13:22 Adam Don't come around on that.

1:13:23 Drew You're vehemently opposed to truth.

1:13:25 Adam Absolutely.

1:13:26 Drew Yeah, I get that.

1:13:27 Adam But what I'm saying is I understand his notion of being with someone who he may be in love with in a way, but has fallen out of love with her vagina. He seems like a guy who has a solid relationship with her. He's just not into her anymore and is free. Imagine how confusing it would be if you're this person, you're with this guy, he's a great guy, everything's going great. Maybe you're thinking about marriage and he's going, I'm sorry, I need out. You're going, why? He's going, I just need out.

1:13:59 Drew Guys do that all the time, though. But you're right, if it's completely out of left field and he wants to tell her this, some women actually, it's a relief to them when they know that.

1:14:08 Adam Yeah.

1:14:08 Drew Because then it's like, whoa, whew.

1:14:10 Adam It's not me.

1:14:11 Drew What can I do? Yeah. It's just over.

1:14:13 Adam He's gay. I may have turned him gay. Matt?

1:14:16 Caller Yeah?

1:14:17 Adam Do you feel like she's going to need an explanation if you break things off?

1:14:22 Caller I really do because we've been together for, you know, since...

1:14:26 Adam Nine months.

1:14:27 Caller March. Yeah, March of last year.

1:14:29 Adam All right.

1:14:29 Drew Well, the important thing...

1:14:32 Caller Go ahead.

1:14:33 Drew Here it comes. The important thing is that you break up before you... Because you will be hurting her if you violate her trust before you break up. So go ahead and give her that courtesy of breaking up. If you want to tell her why, if you think it's appropriate in the throws of the breakup or if you want to tell her later, that's great. But the priority is getting the relationship unraveled. Just get that done.

1:14:54 Adam Get out and if she keeps... If she pushes hard for an answer...

1:14:59 Drew Yeah, and you tell her. And it sounds like you're gay and you need to begin really... That's going to be a process for you.

1:15:05 Adam Yeah, wardrobe, convertibles, it's a whole... It's a process. It's a transformation. You have to get lots of scarves and ascots. You get that Paul Landon scarf you wear on the side there.

1:15:22 Drew They don't know Paul Landon is. Oh, okay.

1:15:23 Adam That's all right. Allison?

1:15:25 Caller Hi.

1:15:26 Adam What's up?

1:15:27 Caller How are you guys tonight?

1:15:28 Drew Good.

1:15:28 Adam Good day, brother.

1:15:29 Drew Think about the kind of acting that Paul Landon did, though. I know.

1:15:33 Adam He acted gay.

1:15:34 Drew That was the 70s. But think, everyone was like a cartoon character.

1:15:38 Adam Yes. That's why they call it performing. Allison?

1:15:43 Caller Yes.

1:15:43 Adam What's up?

1:15:44 Caller Well, I have two questions for you. One question is very hard, difficult for me to talk about because I've never talked about it before. The first question I have is in regard to my labia. I feel like it's very large and I don't have any real life comparison.

1:16:03 Drew Some women have that and there actually are procedures to reduce that if it's really troubling to you.

1:16:10 Caller Because, I mean, I have very healthy sexual relationships and I've never had anybody comment on it.

1:16:16 Drew Alright, then don't worry about it. Has your gynecologist seen it? Has your doctor seen it?

1:16:20 Caller Yeah, and I mean no one has ever said anything.

1:16:24 Adam How?

1:16:24 Caller I've seen my friends' magazines and things like that and in comparison to those women.

1:16:30 Drew That's not you.

1:16:31 Caller Right. And I feel very self-conscious about it.

1:16:36 Adam Okay, but how much bigger are you?

1:16:41 Caller Well, my interior labia hangs lower than the outer.

1:16:46 Drew Right.

1:16:48 Adam Damn, bitch! You look like one of the Cosby kids down there.

1:16:51 Caller Terrible.

1:16:52 Adam I be boob. You always look, you don't look like that. And by the way, if it's, if it's, when I used to do Overnights in Phoenix for AOR Station, Drew, Dusty Labia was... Dusty Labia? That was my on-air name. Then I switched it to Adam Corolla.

1:17:11 Drew And then Ace Rockolla.

1:17:13 Adam Still not my real name. Yeah, hey, this is Dusty Labia. That was Collective Soul. We're going to go right back. You remember that play of those air check tapes? Sure. Hey, Allison?

1:17:28 Caller Yeah, can I ask another question?

1:17:29 Adam You can get an operation if you want.

1:17:32 Caller Yeah, and...

1:17:34 Adam We don't think you should.

1:17:35 Caller In regards to that, does it take away from stimulation at all?

1:17:40 Adam No.

1:17:40 Drew Are you having a problem?

1:17:42 Caller I'm sorry?

1:17:43 Adam No, no. She wants to know if the operation takes away from stimulation.

1:17:46 Drew Oh, no. My interpretation is she's having trouble orgasming and wanting to know if this is wrong.

1:17:53 Caller No, not at all. No, no, no. Not at all.

1:17:57 Caller I was going to...

1:17:58 Caller On the contrary.

1:18:00 Caller Before that, I actually don't enjoy oral sex getting it, but I do very much so like giving it.

1:18:13 Adam Sweet. You know, that's what I need. I need a woman who's just a little self-conscious about her part. I see. Parts. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Just enough to be like, no, no, no. I'll take care of you. Don't, don't, don't. Don't go down there.

1:18:29 Drew Is that what she's into?

1:18:30 Caller Yeah.

1:18:30 Drew Is that why she does that?

1:18:32 Adam I think subtly it is.

1:18:34 Drew Is that a way to keep them away from the part you're uncomfortable with?

1:18:38 Caller I'm sorry? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I guess. But I have another question for you also.

1:18:43 Drew All right.

1:18:45 Caller Growing up, I have a sister that's 18 months older than myself, and we've always been very close. And we've suffered from a lot of the same problems with depression and eating disorders, and just a lot of things like that. And I think we both started, and I know that we both started masturbating at very, very young ages. And-

1:19:08 Drew How do you know that?

1:19:10 Caller Because I remember doing it together.

1:19:12 Adam Ooh, bup.

1:19:15 Caller And there's one instance that has been bothering me for years, and I've gone to counseling, and in counseling I've never, ever mentioned anything about anything sexual in regards to masturbation.

1:19:26 Adam Good. That's the way it should be.

1:19:28 Drew Adam's been going for ten years, never mentioned masturbation, his main pastime.

1:19:32 Adam I haven't told my therapist I have a penis.

1:19:36 Caller But I can remember, I think that I was probably about, I would say I was probably about five and she was about six. And I can remember us sleeping together in the same bed and, and masturbating with each other like we were, as though we were two people having sex, hugging each other.

1:20:00 Adam How many times did this happen?

1:20:02 Caller That only happened once.

1:20:03 Adam Alright.

1:20:04 Caller But I'm wondering like why, if you think that...

1:20:08 Drew It's not a huge deal, but it means something. And then something's up in your family. Something was, were things really chaotic?

1:20:14 Caller I've tried to figure it out.

1:20:16 Drew Was there a lot of chaos and instability?

1:20:18 Caller Not at all. I mean, from looking at my family, I mean, my family situation was...

1:20:23 Adam Hey, Allison.

1:20:24 Drew You weren't moving a lot or anything?

1:20:26 Caller No, we never moved.

1:20:27 Adam Moving on top of our sister.

1:20:28 Caller My parents, I've never heard my parents fight.

1:20:30 Adam Hey, Allison. Relax there, baby. This is Dusty LaBea coming at you. Here's the deal. Drew and I, this is really the only part of ideology where we vary at all.

1:20:46 Drew But this one, I'm with you on. Okay.

1:20:49 Adam This stuff goes on all the time. It happens quite a bit. It could mean something's up, but it doesn't necessarily mean something was up.

1:20:58 Drew It's not a huge deal.

1:21:00 Adam Yes. Here's the deal, Allison. Okay.

1:21:02 Drew But it means something.

1:21:04 Adam No. I don't think it necessarily does. I mean, to the extent that there's always something, there's always an issue, there's always some energy in every family, no matter how good things are. I don't think you should lose sleep. You're making the energy that you have about the word I'm looking for. You fretting over this. The shame and the fretting is worse than the actual event. It happened once. It's not a big deal. It was a million years ago. I would say get on with it. I don't think there's anything to explore. I don't know what you're going to get to if you try to get to this. You know what I'm saying?

1:21:49 Drew Yeah.

1:21:50 Adam Okay. So, don't freak with your sister and don't confront her. Just focus on giving the oral. All right. We'll be back after this. Yeah! Little shot for Anderson with the cans turned up too high. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. Used to watch this great show. You know, we're talking about that after school, local programming. That's all we used to watch when we were kids. Yeah, Sheriff John and Hobo Kelly. All this weird local stuff. Most places had their own local TV. There was this one after school thing. They'd show cartoons and stuff. I remind you, I was in the eighth grade. I was thirteen. I used to watch it anyway. And they'd play this game called POW. And they would show...

1:22:52 Drew Oh, one drama.

1:22:54 Adam Yeah, they had thirty seconds for you to say POW as many times as you could. And they'd give you like a dollar for each time. People would call up and be like. What's any better than POW?

1:23:36 Drew One drama. Oh, yeah. Oh, Jerry Mahoney. Remember that?

1:23:41 Adam The doctor? The professor?

1:23:43 Drew The puppet.

1:23:44 Adam Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, not head.

1:23:47 Drew You sound like Off-Air Conversations.

1:23:49 Adam Yeah.

1:23:50 Drew Are we on the air?

1:23:51 Adam You're nineteen.

1:23:53 Drew Lynn?

1:23:55 Adam All right. Lynn's not around. Let's talk to Armando.

1:24:01 Caller Yes. Hi, doctor.

1:24:02 Drew Hi, Armando.

1:24:03 Caller How are you doing?

1:24:04 Drew We're good. What's up?

1:24:06 Caller I have a question to ask you.

1:24:07 Adam All righty.

1:24:09 Caller I'm going. I have a friend. She is black.

1:24:14 Drew Yeah.

1:24:15 Caller One of her friends wants me to come up with her best friend.

1:24:19 Drew Right.

1:24:20 Caller One of her best friends wants to go out with me for the Super Bowl coming up next week.

1:24:26 Drew Cool.

1:24:26 Adam Where are you from, Armando?

1:24:27 Caller I'm from Albuquerque, New Mexico.

1:24:29 Adam I could tell.

1:24:31 Caller Oh, where should I be from? I'm from Texas, but I'm moving here already.

1:24:34 Adam That's what I mean. I heard that accent. They'll pass an accent.

1:24:39 Drew All right. What's the question?

1:24:41 Caller My question is, how am I reacting to go out with two females at the same time? My mom don't like me. What should I mean go out with black people? I know that, but with two females, I'm not too sure.

1:24:56 Drew If your mom would approve of it?

1:25:00 Caller I guess so.

1:25:01 Drew Armando, it says here you're 32.

1:25:03 Caller No, I'm 22.

1:25:05 Drew 22.

1:25:06 Caller Yeah, I wish I was 32.

1:25:08 Drew Well even at 22, you need your mom's approval for...

1:25:11 Adam I'm going to give our screeners a pass on that scrub. Armando is not the clearest guy. Yeah. Do you have any problems, Armando?

1:25:19 Caller I'm not really, only like, like masturbating. I think about all the females only.

1:25:29 Adam Is this Lou Freig now?

1:25:30 Caller No.

1:25:31 Drew I was going to think it would be hearing problems or cerebral palsy or anything like that.

1:25:34 Caller Oh no, sir. No, no, not sir.

1:25:37 Adam What's your nationality?

1:25:39 Caller A nationality is like, like I want to make out with a female.

1:25:44 Adam Hold on a second.

1:25:45 Drew That's a nationality?

1:25:46 Adam Is retarded a nationality or?

1:25:48 Drew No, no.

1:25:49 Adam There's no retardia?

1:25:50 Drew No.

1:25:51 Adam Oh.

1:25:52 Drew No, it's a state rather.

1:25:53 Adam Oh, oh, oh.

1:25:54 Drew A state of retardia.

1:25:55 Adam I got to be easier on those people. I didn't know that. I thought there was one, you know, place. I didn't know where it was, but I was like, hey man, you need to go back. Oh, this is a really bad thing. So I feel bad now. You kidding me?

1:26:16 Drew No, you're not kidding.

1:26:17 Adam Armando?

1:26:18 Caller Yes.

1:26:20 Adam Do you have a disability?

1:26:22 Caller Yes, I do.

1:26:23 Adam What do you have, buddy?

1:26:23 Caller Like mentally retardation.

1:26:26 Drew Okay.

1:26:26 Adam Mentally?

1:26:27 Drew Mentally retardation.

1:26:28 Caller Yes.

1:26:28 Adam Oh, okay. All right. And how's that going? Are you able to work?

1:26:32 Caller No. I may get to get a real job here. I'll pass all the checks over here and I'll pick it up and let's go.

1:26:39 Drew All right.

1:26:39 Adam You can't get a job?

1:26:41 Caller Anywhere you guys think.

1:26:43 Drew Really? Sometimes there's a little work sort of programs for folks out there.

1:26:46 Caller Yeah.

1:26:46 Adam What do you see in those McDonald's commercials?

1:26:49 Caller Pardon me?

1:26:50 Adam You know, like McDonald's, they do that. They only hire the retarded, I think.

1:26:55 Caller Well, I tried before. No, you cannot. We have a street on person.

1:27:00 Drew Have you ever had a girlfriend before?

1:27:02 Caller No, sir.

1:27:03 Drew Are you looking to have one?

1:27:04 Caller Yes, sir.

1:27:05 Drew That's good.

1:27:06 Adam Hey, Armando.

1:27:07 Drew Good plan.

1:27:08 Adam I have an interesting sort of philosophical question for you. And it just popped into my head. It's interesting. But you're aware that you have retardation, right?

1:27:23 Caller Yes, sir.

1:27:25 Adam And you understand that maybe it gets in the way of you doing certain things.

1:27:31 Caller Can you, for example?

1:27:33 Adam Well, I mean like work.

1:27:35 Caller Like work?

1:27:36 Adam Yeah, like because of your disability, you're having trouble finding a job.

1:27:41 Caller Yes.

1:27:42 Adam Now, does that make you unhappy?

1:27:45 Caller Yes, I do. Unhappy.

1:27:47 Adam Are you unhappy constantly? Or would you say that you're generally a happy person?

1:27:53 Caller For an unhappy person, not yet at all.

1:27:56 Drew Are you angry?

1:27:58 Caller Yes, I am.

1:27:59 Adam Are you angry because of the retardation or because of the job?

1:28:03 Caller Both.

1:28:04 Drew Both.

1:28:05 Adam Did you feel like, why does this have to happen to you, or God has forsaken you, or something like that?

1:28:12 Caller I have no idea.

1:28:14 Adam But I guess what I'm trying to ask is, and I'm not sure, I know the answer, but I wasn't clear on the answer. Day in and day out, just every day. And I know you have your good days and you have your bad days. But would you call yourself a happy person or are you upset?

1:28:33 Caller A happy person. Yeah.

1:28:34 Adam Good.

1:28:35 Caller I have a happy life.

1:28:38 Adam You're happy or most are callers.

1:28:41 Caller Can I ask you a question, doctor?

1:28:42 Drew Yeah.

1:28:47 Caller My question is, I touch female, I want the body in public. And my question is, how do you feel the way I feel? Touching female in the breast, thigh, legs, buttocks or other parts?

1:29:04 Drew You tried doing that in public?

1:29:07 Caller Yes, I did.

1:29:07 Adam You tried touching a female?

1:29:08 Drew Did you get in trouble for that?

1:29:10 Caller Yes, I did.

1:29:10 Drew Okay. Well, it's not considered an okay thing to do. People don't encourage that. They don't want that. It's actually illegal to do that to people in public, even if they elicit it, even if they want it.

1:29:24 Adam Really?

1:29:25 Drew You can't grow in public. What if you grow in public? In public?

1:29:29 Adam I don't know.

1:29:29 Drew That was interesting.

1:29:32 Adam You know, my bizarre question I ask everybody who's retarded is, do you know you're retarded? Yes. You do know you're retarded.

1:29:39 Drew Yes. But does your retardation affect your perception of what that means?

1:29:45 Adam Yes. I mean, if your brain was healthy enough to fully feel the scope of your retardation, then you wouldn't be retarded.

1:29:55 Drew It also is interesting that...

1:29:56 Adam I mean, here's what I'm saying. You take the retardation and put it onto your brain and go, oh, I'd be miserable. But it's, in a way... Well, this is not going to sound good. I just realized this. But you know, sometimes you see like a dog sleeping out in the dirt. And you go, jeez, what's he doing in the dirt? Then you go, oh, he doesn't know. He's happy.

1:30:15 Drew Don't you remember the village...

1:30:17 Adam The village idiot?

1:30:19 Drew Love and death? Yeah. He's very happy. It also shows there's a disconnect between cognition and affect. You can be quiet. We have plenty of very smart callers. Very unhappy.

1:30:30 Adam That's true. Oh, no. Smart and happy or even just sort of brain function and happy. Don't go hand in hand. They work against each other.

1:30:39 Drew Could be.

1:30:40 Adam What do you think the IQ of the average suicide victim is? I would say higher...

1:30:49 Drew Possibly...

1:30:49 Adam .than average.

1:30:50 Drew Maybe alcoholics are going to be higher.

1:30:51 Adam Thank you. Thank you. Shall we take a little break here, Dr. Drew?

1:30:56 Drew Thank you. Thank you.

1:31:00 Adam We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

1:31:13 Caller Well, that's it.

1:31:15 Adam It is Thursday, isn't it, Drew?

1:31:17 Drew Yes.

1:31:18 Adam Yeah, my schedule is all screwed up.

1:31:21 Drew Got Foo Fighters in here next week.

1:31:23 Adam Oh, really?

1:31:23 Drew Joe Rogan, Jerry Milgrath.

1:31:25 Adam Well, that's good. All right. That's a good enough week right there. Man, I'll tell you something. Has anyone seen them Foo Fighters live?

1:31:33 Drew Yeah, they're good.

1:31:33 Adam That goddamn band rocks. I mean, there's a lot of good bands out there and a lot of good live bands, but if you have not seen the Foo Fighters, they will blow you away. This is a super hard rocking band.

1:31:48 Drew You get to tell them to their face on Sunday.

1:31:50 Adam No, I'm going to play cool.

1:31:51 Drew All right, I'll tell them.

1:31:52 Adam Yeah, I think I caught part of your set, you guys, for okay. I want to thank, who do I want to thank? Damien for not killing us. You know, it's only a matter of time before he freaks on us out in the parking lot. It's kind of a violent history. I want to thank...

1:32:09 Drew TeraMite too, you know.

1:32:10 Adam I want to thank...

1:32:10 Drew You call her Tara one more time.

1:32:11 Adam Tera, don't call me Tara.

1:32:12 Drew You'll get a shiv right in your ass.

1:32:14 Adam For coming in here and pretending to work each and every week. I also want to thank Lauren for putting it in. I'm still not sure what Lauren does, but she's doing a wonderful, wonderful job. And no complaints. And producer Ann for putting her feminine stink all over the show. And engineer Anderson for pushing buttons like this.

1:32:37 Thank you.

1:32:38 Adam So, until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo. Hey, you have any problems, Armando?

1:32:44 Caller I'm not really, I mean, like, like not to be thinking about all the females.

1:32:52 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is the presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, January 24, 2002