Episode 1000754886824

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline Coast to Coast.

1:14 Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

1:16 Voiceover I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Over there, Dr. Drew, board-certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Oh, finally, me and my lover with some time alone.

1:30 Drew Isn't it, Drew?

1:31 Adam Yeah.

1:31 Drew It feels almost funny.

1:33 Adam Yeah, I was out of town for a few days, and then Drew was out of town, and then I was off the air, then I was in Vegas.

1:41 Drew Then we have guests in here, like Willie Nelson, and people to disturb our sanctity.

1:45 Adam It's really, even, and Willie Nelson was great.

1:48 Drew Yeah.

1:49 Adam But it's still like being chaperoned on a date when we have a guest in here.

1:53 Drew True.

1:53 Adam It's like, how am I going to cop a feel? I'm tired. I got some old guy with a, with a braid sitting across.

1:59 Drew You have to be creative.

2:00 Adam Yeah. Speaking of creative, Drew's daughter has written me another letter. She's now decided that it was important that I build them a tree house at their home. Do you have, I grew up in a tree house. Do you have, do you have a tree that's suitable for a tree house?

2:17 Drew I don't, I haven't actually been out there to see what they're talking about. They think they do.

2:22 Adam Dear Adam, please, please, and that's interesting because first off, it's usually one please or three please. She must have ran out of steam. You know, you either get the please make a big tree house or please, please, please. You rarely get the please, please.

2:39 Drew It's a little more formal, please, please.

2:41 Adam That's a creative mind there. Make a big tree house, please. Oh, I see, she saved the third please. I'll tell you something. This girl's penmanship, spelling, and punctuation is better than mine. Absolutely. And vocabulary with the use of the three pleases. Please, please, please make a big tree house, please. I would really like that. It would be the funniest thing in the house. I could have my club meetings in it. Uh-oh. You got to get her away from your wife. Already thinking about them clubs, them social clubs.

3:22 Drew Scary.

3:23 Adam Got to get the girls together so we can complain about guys in life. See, guys get together, they watch sports, they get loaded.

3:31 Drew Yeah.

3:31 Adam Girls get together and complain about guys getting together.

3:34 Drew Oh, yeah.

3:35 Adam That's really why girls clubs were formed. Because guys went out, guys said, hey, let's get together. Let's go to the drag races. Let's go to the motocross races. Let's throw the football around. Let's watch the game. Women said, we got to have a meeting so that we can complain about what guys do when they get together. They can't even do stuff, women, that does not involve complaining about guys. What a life that would be. I could have my club meetings in it. If you say yes, you might not. I really want you to, and this is in parentheses, I really, really want you to, and me and my friends will help you. I've got a little sidebar there. I really hope you say yes. That's O with four H's. I would imagine, imagine. Wow. It's a huge word. I would imagine how much fun it could, it's getting a little, and plus I'm not a great reader. This could be me. Imagine how much fun in it. Okay. So you're saying she's going to have a lot of fun in the tree house. If you make one for us, you realize kids write in circles a little bit. The initial, you could always take one of their full pages and condense it down to just the thought of Joe. Yeah, just the sense. You put more support on it, please. Let's see. If you say yes, will you start this weekend and come and do it at our house, please? Do you think you could do it in the front yard for the tree house? Pretty please. I can't stop thinking about how much fun it would be. Well, I don't know if I can take- Can I bring this letter to my therapist?

5:24 Caller Yeah.

5:24 Adam Oh, absolutely. I keep trying to give him examples of the pressure I'm under, but he never understands what I'm talking about.

5:29 Drew Probably, if your girlfriend sees this, you're going to be at our house.

5:31 Adam Yeah. Oh, Jesus. PS, write back tonight at the radio and give it to my daddy. Is that Anderson? No, that's you, right?

5:44 Drew Write it back, Adam.

5:46 Adam I'm scared because what grade is she in?

5:49 Drew Third.

5:50 Adam My penmanship and spelling is no better than this, and my writing is slightly less legible.

5:55 Drew She'll feel like she's getting a letter from her peer. They'll be fine. They'll be good.

5:59 Adam Her peer's like, does she have a first grader take quotation? Okay. All right. I'm going to write her back. All right?

6:09 Drew This will be good.

6:09 Adam Please, please, please leave my ass alone. No, I'll put a bit in, but it's going to be so high that I'll be right out of the game. That's my plan. What does a girl want a tree house for?

6:24 Drew She and a little group of friends decided they want it.

6:26 Okay.

6:27 Adam I built Jimmy's kid a play house once years ago. Ari?

6:34 Hello?

6:34 Adam You're 15?

6:35 Caller Yeah.

6:36 Adam What's up?

6:37 Caller Nothing. I do Irish dancing.

6:40 Adam Yeah. Is that the Lord of the Dance kind of stuff?

6:43 Caller Yeah.

6:44 Drew Big wooden shoes kind of thing?

6:45 Caller Yeah.

6:46 Caller Right.

6:47 Caller And I got kicked in my balls from one of the competitions about 16 days ago.

6:53 Drew Good times.

6:54 Adam Who kicked you? Just an upset judge?

6:57 Drew A weird shoe?

6:58 Adam One of the dancers. One of the dancers?

7:00 Caller Yeah.

7:01 Adam How does that work? How does one kick one in the balls? I mean that thing where they lift the knee up and they kick the foot straight out?

7:08 Caller Kind of like that. It's kind of you jump with your foot straight out and then snap your feet together in the air.

7:14 Adam Uh-huh.

7:14 Drew As a competition?

7:16 Caller Yeah.

7:16 Drew Did that interrupt the flow of the competitive experience?

7:20 Caller I just kept on dancing.

7:21 Adam Oh, you didn't go down?

7:23 Caller No.

7:23 Adam That's too bad. I really wish you had. Just so I can get a visual. So this is one of the guys on your squad?

7:30 Caller Yeah.

7:30 Adam Okay. So kicked in the nuts?

7:32 Caller I was competing against him.

7:33 Adam Oh, you were competing against this guy?

7:36 Yeah.

7:37 Adam Interesting tactic. Kicking in the nuts. So now what?

7:41 Caller So now I got a competition in six days and they still look pretty bad.

7:46 Drew What does? Both of them?

7:50 Caller More on the left, but yeah, they're both blue.

7:52 Drew Blue?

7:54 Caller Darker.

7:55 Drew You mean the skin's purple?

7:57 Caller Yeah, kind of.

7:58 Drew All right. They hurt?

7:59 Caller Not on like every once in a while.

8:01 Drew Are they swollen?

8:03 Caller Not really. All right.

8:04 Drew So you just really just got a sort of a superficial wound. You're all right.

8:09 Adam He's all right?

8:10 Drew Sounds like you're okay.

8:11 Adam Hey, Ari? Yeah. What are you playing on doing with this? Is there a college scholarships or?

8:19 Caller Oh, I'm a world champion.

8:21 Adam Are you? Yeah.

8:22 Caller I'm eighth in the world right now.

8:25 Adam Out of five or how many people do this?

8:29 Caller Jeez, in the national competition, in my group is like 350.

8:34 Adam Wow. Now, what is your, are you like, are you the 13 to 16 category or bisexual or what? Well, how they break the categories in straight, gay, bi?

8:46 Caller I'm not gay.

8:47 Adam Oh, okay. Well, how does this work? What is your category? You're grouping.

8:52 Caller I'm grouped in 13 to 16.

8:57 Adam Hey, don't I get a little credit for getting the 13 to 16 grouping that you were in?

9:01 Caller Sure.

9:02 Adam Okay. Thank you. Wow.

9:03 Drew Not even that.

9:04 Adam Here's what I'm saying. Most groupings aren't 13 to 16.

9:07 Drew No, it's 10 to 14, 12 to 16, something like that. 13 to 16, I thought it was odd when you said that.

9:12 Adam I thought it was odd when I said it too. It felt like a strange mix.

9:16 Drew Yeah.

9:16 Adam And in like little league and stuff, it's always 13 and 14 year olds or whatever.

9:20 Drew Even numbers.

9:21 Adam Or under 18. Yeah, the 13 to 16 is a strange grouping. But obviously, I know a lot about the sport. So, Ari.

9:28 Caller Yeah. All right.

9:29 Adam So what do you do? You're going to go on the professional circuit when you're done with this?

9:34 Caller I don't know. It's just kind of a hobby.

9:36 Drew Okay.

9:37 Caller I'm going to college.

9:38 Adam Okay. And you can work now. Vegas style reviews. This thing's big in Vegas.

9:45 Caller Maybe.

9:46 Adam All right. Virgin?

9:48 Caller Yeah. Oh, yeah.

9:50 Adam Do you now, is this the kind of like, are you one of these guys, you go to high school and wear like some of the garb that you'd wear at the competition stuff, try to get a little attention, but the chicks don't really care?

10:00 Caller I'm actually homeschooled.

10:02 Adam Oh, no, no, no, you're fine. You're fine. You're competitive. You have a lot of discipline, right?

10:08 Caller Yeah.

10:09 Adam How many hours a day do you work out?

10:11 Caller Six. Wow.

10:12 Adam And are your parents Irish and they got you into this or someone got the Lord of the Dance video like four years ago?

10:20 Caller My mom's Irish and she had us take it up.

10:23 Adam All right. Okay. All right there, buddy. Good times.

10:26 Caller Okay.

10:27 Adam Okay.

10:27 Caller So we'll just heal and be fine?

10:29 Drew I think so.

10:29 Caller Okay.

10:30 Adam All right. Good luck.

10:32 Caller Okay. Thanks.

10:32 Adam All right. Boy, that's a virgin. Okay. Let me let me do some virgin math here. Into dance.

10:44 Drew You're going to give an estimate when he's going to lose his virginity?

10:46 Adam Yeah. He's 15. He's 15.

10:48 Drew He's got squirrely voice.

10:49 Adam Yeah. Well, no. Wait a minute now. Let me just do some math here. Let me see if we can work this out. He's 15 and not virgin. So let's take the 15. I'm going to add two years for being in the dance in general.

11:03 Drew Yeah.

11:03 Adam Then I'm going to tack another 18 months on to that for being into the Lord of the Dance type dance.

11:08 Drew How about homeschooling?

11:10 Adam Hold on. We got to that. So he's 15. We're at three and a half years. So what do we have? 18 and a half. Homeschooling is, that's a year. That's a good year.

11:21 Drew I give a year.

11:22 Adam Well, who are you screwing at home?

11:24 Drew Right.

11:25 Adam Is there a mailman?

11:26 Drew Extra squirrely penalty.

11:28 Adam Hold on a second. Three and a half. We're at 19 and a half years before Ari gets laid. Then what I'm going to do is I'm going to tack on another six months because of the competition. He's taking the dance to that level. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah. All right. So that's 20. You'll lose it at 20. So Ari, circle that on your calendar, 2007. All right. Let's talk to Sarah here. Sarah?

11:55 Yeah.

11:55 Adam Seventeen?

11:56 Yeah.

11:57 Caller That's me.

11:57 Caller What's up?

11:59 Caller All right.

11:59 Me and my boyfriend have this problem going on like with condoms breaking all the time. Like they've had to break in somewhere between 10 and 15 times.

12:06 Drew How come? How come?

12:08 Caller I really don't know.

12:09 Like seems like we're putting mom, right? You know, you read the directions and you put them on. And I don't know if you've tried all the different types of condoms, but they just keep on breaking. But the question I have for you is the reason we're wearing them, like I'm on the pill and stuff like that. But the reason we're wearing it is to protect against STDs. But it seems like...

12:26 Drew Who has the STD?

12:28 We don't know. Neither of us have been tested. It's just like in case any of us have it. Like we don't want to give it to the other person.

12:35 Drew So each of you had other partners?

12:38 Yeah.

12:39 Adam How many?

12:42 It's just me and him together right now. But we've been with other people.

12:45 Drew How many?

12:46 How many other people?

12:47 Drew Yeah.

12:48 Like I've been with like 10 other people. But protected and stuff. But it's still like you never know. But my question is like-

12:57 Wait, you never know.

12:58 Adam No, you do. You do know.

13:00 Drew You know if you have a disease?

13:02 Adam You use protection and you know who your partners were.

13:06 Drew Do you get pap smears regularly?

13:09 What was that?

13:09 Drew Do you get regular pap smears?

13:11 I haven't had them in a while, but yeah.

13:13 Drew They've never told you have an infection?

13:15 Adam No, they haven't. I heard, oops, her line is bad, so she's bothering me. They never said anything. Hey, Sarah?

13:23 Caller Yeah.

13:23 Adam Pap smears come out okay?

13:25 Drew Yeah. Where in the meantime would you have contracted an STD?

13:30 Caller Not while we were together, just before we were together.

13:32 Drew Yeah, but you've had pap smears.

13:33 Adam Hold on, I'm done with the over obvious stuff. We understand that whole concept. You don't know exactly where his penis has been. He doesn't know exactly where your vagina has been, but you've used protection, you've had a limited amount of partners, your pap smears have come up good, you have no outbreaks or anything like that.

13:52 Drew No symptoms.

13:53 Adam Yeah.

13:54 Drew Not every drug user. What are they thinking?

13:56 Adam I'll tell you what they're thinking. They're thinking what the goddamn pussies have shoved up their ass from all this Project AIDS and all these other nonsense organizations. You all could get it, anyone could get it, you never know what you have when you sleep with someone. No, that's ridiculous. You do know what's going on. There's high-risk groups, you retards. Liz Taylor would like you to believe that just, and it's all this stuff like, use a condom every time, every partner, every day. No, that's not the way. Listen, you're banging some guy in the ass, in the back of some bar that's done up like a dude ranch, you sure as hell better wear a condom. You're some kid who's 17 and you're growing up in Nebraska and you've had two partners and no one has a disease and this, you know, your partners weren't gay or bi or anything, you're fine. You got to, you're on the pill, everything's coming up fine, you have a, it just drives me, that kind of brainwashing bothers me.

14:55 Drew Well, the reality is that the reason, I believe, there's a reason now that young people are not using condoms. They really are not using them very regularly and the reason is what I call a sort of reefer madness mentality.

15:07 Adam Yes.

15:07 Drew We've taught them, we can't have a rational conversation about marijuana because we told young people at one time that marijuana would kill them, turn them all into heroin addicts, and they believed that for about five minutes and then went, hey, wait a minute, that's BS. Then now you can't talk about it anymore.

15:20 Adam Well, they won't listen to you.

15:21 Drew They will not listen to you. So that's exactly what's happened with condoms now. This notion that everybody all the time is going to give you HIV, they looked around and went, wait a minute, I never, it's not happening. So therefore, I'm not going to listen to anything you say.

15:35 Adam No one in my high school has it. Right. Yes. Then they start pulling out statistics worldwide that involve lots of parts of deepest, darkest Africa. Then try to include you in that. Males, 18-34, the highest growing group, heterosexual males. Yeah, in Uganda. What else do you want to tell me about? You want to tell me about some indigenous bug that I have to worry about, the bite of, that doesn't exist on this goddamn continent? Just stop it. That's all.

16:11 Caller It's not stop it.

16:13 Drew It's be accurate. It's be 100% accurate because you overstayed it and young people will reject what you have to say.

16:20 Adam I'm not saying AIDS is a good thing and I'm not saying that people don't need to protect themselves against it, but just give us the straight information and let us make responsible decisions based on accurate data. Don't try to scare everyone into everything. It's so funny that the people that go nuts with this AIDS BS, are the same people that were going nuts during the Reefer Madness era, on the other side of the government's Reefer Madness.

16:45 Drew Yeah, that's interesting.

16:46 Adam These are the left-wing pussies who were pounding and yelling this propaganda, this is brainwashing, this is the government spinning, this whole Reefer thing out of control. These are now the people that are spinning the whole AIDS thing out of control.

17:00 Drew Interesting.

17:01 Adam Yeah.

17:02 Drew And the people that would like random searches, which I get subjected to every time I go in the airport.

17:10 Adam Oh, yeah, right.

17:11 Drew Not protect against terrorism.

17:13 Adam Right. Let's pick out all the chicks that look like Sandy Duncan and put a metal detecting baton up her ass, make sure she's not carrying any explosives. Michelle?

17:22 Drew Yeah.

17:23 Adam You're 27?

17:24 Caller I am.

17:25 Adam Hey, what's up?

17:26 Caller What's going on?

17:27 Adam Hey, how do?

17:28 Caller Very well.

17:29 Adam All righty.

17:30 Caller Wanted to start out that I've been listening to you guys for seven years.

17:33 Adam Great.

17:33 Caller It's a paradigm, so something must be wrong with me.

17:36 Adam Yeah, how can we help?

17:37 Caller Actually, I have a question about Depakote and the side effects of Depakote. Have been diagnosed bipolar about a month ago and have only been on it for a month. Wondering if there are any sexual side effects that I should expect or should look for.

17:53 Drew No. Is it something you're happening?

17:55 Caller No, not at all.

17:56 Drew No. Depakote is not an antidepressant per se. It's a mood stabilizer. Right. It's a whole different range of side effects. It's rash and liver inflammation and anemia and things like that. Things that they're going to take on blood tests more than anything else.

18:09 Caller Okay. My other question is, and I don't know if you know the answer. Why is it that the majority of people who are diagnosed bipolar it happens in their 20s?

18:19 Drew Because that's when it comes on. The people that do research on this, look at the brain activity. The best way I can explain it to you, imagine a brain seizure where there's like lots and lots of brainwave activity. And people with bipolar have a predisposition to these little sort of bursts of hyper brain activity. And if those bursts are stimulated a sufficient number of time by a sufficient certain age, then it becomes sort of self-sustaining. It's like you're kickstarting a car. Like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, and now it's going. And that has a window where if you get enough of these little kickstarts between basically 18 to 22, then pow, now it goes and it stays, keeps going.

19:03 Adam All right. Let's talk to... You like this call?

19:09 Drew Yeah.

19:11 Adam Stephanie?

19:12 Caller Hello.

19:12 Adam You're 22?

19:13 Caller Yes.

19:14 Adam What's up?

19:16 Caller I have a question for Dr. Drew. I... I'm 22 years old and I have two children, a five-year-old and a one and a half-year-old. And ever since I had my youngest son, I am just like not attractive to my husband. I hate having sex with him. And I know it's normal to a certain extent.

19:34 Drew Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're not attracted or you're not attracted?

19:37 Adam That's what she meant. She meant attracted.

19:40 Caller Well, he's still, he's still attractive to me. Yes, but I don't like to have sex. I find him, he's very handsome. He is. But kiss me if you want, touch me if you want, but don't have sex with me. Don't ask me for sex. And it wasn't like that. We were very sexually active three, four times a day and if possible even more.

20:02 Drew Hold on, hold stop. Yeah, go ahead.

20:05 Adam Yeah. Any sexual abuse in your past?

20:10 Caller You know, not that. Um, I don't know if.

20:14 Drew Hold on a second.

20:15 Adam Wait, wait, wait.

20:16 Drew Re-create.

20:16 Adam Loveline, re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re We didn't even get to the part where she answered, did we?

20:41 Drew No, I don't think she ever got it out.

20:44 Adam Stephanie?

20:45 Caller Hello?

20:46 Adam Any sexual abuse in the past?

20:49 Caller Not that I remember of. It did happen to my sisters, and I possibly blocked it off. I don't know if it's not possible.

20:58 Drew Oh, yes, that's quite possible.

20:59 Adam Now, you say sisters. You had more than one sister.

21:03 Caller I have two sisters, yes, two older sisters.

21:05 Drew Was this your dad or your grandfather or uncle?

21:07 Caller It was my uncle, my mom's brother, and it was possibly, I feel very uncomfortable around my father. I love him and he's a perfect dad, but I do feel very uncomfortable, and with men in general.

21:22 Drew Well, what happens with that history is sometimes you get on a trajectory and you can become on a hypersexual trajectory, you can get shut down. Having children sometimes is a way of evoking a lot of your ambivalent feelings from the past.

21:34 Adam Interesting.

21:35 Drew And so here you have little kids around and a lot of these feelings and now your husband starts representing that guy that abused the kids and maybe he is even a guy like that because we might predict you might pick someone like that.

21:46 Caller Okay.

21:47 Adam Well, let me ask a couple of questions. Your sisters are both older.

21:51 Caller Yes.

21:51 Adam How much older?

21:54 Caller Five and six years older.

21:56 Adam Okay. And you say you loved your dad very much. He was a great dad, but you're uncomfortable around him.

22:02 Caller Well, now he's a great dad, yes. He wasn't when I was younger.

22:05 Adam Right.

22:06 Caller He was a recovery alcoholic.

22:08 Adam Okay. So, and you do for a fact know that your mom's brother got hold of your two sisters.

22:17 Caller Yes.

22:17 Adam But never did find out if he got hold of you.

22:21 Caller No.

22:22 Adam How did they deal with that? Is he still in the life of your mother?

22:27 Caller He lives in LA.

22:30 Adam Great. Great. See if I can run him over on the way home.

22:33 Caller Yeah. And I'm really not, we didn't really cope. I went to see a psychiatrist for a while. Yeah. But that was shortly after I noticed that they wanted to put me in antidepressants and whatnot. I just didn't want to go that way and I can't go. Okay.

22:53 Adam All right. Don't let them treat you. Smart. Here's the thing now, Stephanie. I completely agree with Drew. There's you had an alcoholic dad, you had sisters that were abused, possibly you were abused. You grew up in a situation where this was just, your mom was part of this. She knew this was her brother. God knows what her brother did to her and what her dad.

23:14 Caller He did it to her too.

23:16 Adam Fantastic. Yeah, there you go. This is a mess and you should have a whole bunch of feelings and don't worry about the sexual part of it and on your kids' behalf because you don't want them to, if they go through one-tenth of what your family went through, consider yourself a failure as a parent. All right?

23:33 Caller Okay.

23:34 Adam All right. So back into therapy.

23:36 Drew No, it's not okay. It's a sign that things are not okay and it's time to get back into some treatment. And then what would you say too? We'd sort of worry about her choice in a maid even.

23:46 Adam He's very handsome.

23:47 Drew You'd expect him to be-

23:48 Adam He's a good-looker.

23:49 Drew You'd expect him to be-

23:49 Adam Matinee good looks, I'll tell you. Matinee Idol. Oh, Stephanie didn't sound like she was sure if the world was round or flat.

24:02 Drew Right. Right.

24:03 Adam And listen, I don't blame her. Let me answer it. Stephanie, does she hang up? Yeah. I worry a little about her husband.

24:12 Drew Yeah.

24:12 Adam Oh, my God. I was just talking to my sister today. I couldn't imagine going over there and banging my two nephews.

24:21 Drew Not today anyway.

24:23 Adam Well, she moved out to Topanga. What I'm saying is-

24:25 Drew You couldn't imagine driving that far.

24:26 Adam No, not that far. They came over to my place.

24:28 Drew If you live with them or something, then sure.

24:30 Adam I could see meeting them halfway, like Tarzana and maybe having one of the kids, but no, not driving all the way up there.

24:37 Drew Of course.

24:38 Adam That's how you- Yeah, that's what I meant.

24:39 Drew I'm fine. I just want to clarify.

24:41 Adam I didn't want to come off like I wouldn't do it. I have great love for the kids. I'm just saying, and we always talk about this and you- Just imagine this everybody. Here you are now. You've had at your sister sexually growing up, right? And then later on, when she's old enough, becomes an adult, gets in a relationship, old enough to fend for herself and fend you off. Don't worry. You bide your time. She'll have some kids one of these days. And your sister finally cranks out a couple of kids, and they have at them. That's nice. And now you're just living somewhere in LA, you're going to work, you walk around every day. Yeah, yeah, bang my sister and then my nephews and nieces. That's nice. Actually, one, I can't remember if I got the one kid, but I know I got the other two girls. What is that? You're just walking around that way? That's fine with you? At what point don't you just put a gun in your mouth? Can't you guys, all you guys have done this, can't you just go ahead and do that? Just put a bullet in your head? Salvage that one last act of dignity in a horrible, horrible life. Go ahead. Just kill yourselves. That's fine. I don't have any problem with that. We got to save these guys? What do you got to do? What's your big plan? Stay around long enough to get at one of the grandkids now? Or what do you do? It's absolutely amazing and that's why the Stephanie's of the world can't be having more. No more kids.

26:16 Caller Okay.

26:17 Adam Hey, you ball-less fags, just kill yourselves, would ya? Please, please do this. Do everyone a favor. And not only all of us, but yourself. Do yourself a favor and kill yourself. Please, please, please kill yourself. We'll be back.

26:36 Hello? This is Loveline.

26:37 Call 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

27:13 Caller Hey, how do?

27:17 Adam Loveline, I'm Adam, and that's Drew, and the phone number is 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. All righty then. Ready to get back to them phones, Drew?

27:29 Drew I'm ready.

27:31 Adam All righty. Let's talk to Greg. Greg's 30.

27:37 Caller Hi. Hey. Hi, Adam.

27:40 Adam Hi, Greg.

27:42 Caller Hi, Dr. Drew.

27:43 Drew Hi, Greg.

27:43 Caller I had a question for you. I was very curious. This is good radio. I was very curious. How many times does a clitoris quivers in a half a second?

27:58 Adam Oh, I thought this was one of those woodchuck-chuck type things only substituting the woodchuck for the clitoris.

28:04 Caller He's an idiot.

28:05 Drew What is he talking about?

28:07 Adam How many times does the clitoris do what?

28:11 Caller Quiver.

28:12 Adam Quiver during what? The course of a lifetime or a day or a year?

28:16 Caller An orgasm.

28:18 Adam An orgasm.

28:19 Caller He's an idiot.

28:19 Drew What's a quiver?

28:20 Adam I don't know. What's a clitoris quiver, Greg?

28:25 Caller A motion back and forth.

28:26 Adam Do you know that it does that?

28:28 Caller Well, you're a Jenna Jameson fan, right?

28:32 Adam Yeah.

28:32 Caller Remember Priceless? Yeah, Priceless.

28:36 Adam Yeah, with Peter North?

28:38 Caller Yeah, Peter North.

28:39 Adam Yeah. Remember that one?

28:41 Caller And Mr. Rubberman. Remember when Jenna was performing oral sex on the, I forgot her name, and her...

28:52 Adam Yeah. Listen, I fast forward through the lesbian stuff usually.

28:56 Drew But he's about to tell us what a quiver is.

28:58 Adam Yeah. Sorry. Go ahead.

28:59 Caller Well, it's a emotional back and forth.

29:02 Adam Right. So you're saying she has that ability?

29:05 Caller Well, I have the DVD of that release, and I have the A and B button on my DVD and slow motion button.

29:13 Adam He's an idiot.

29:15 Caller And, you know, I always... that's happened to that second.

29:19 Adam All right. Hold on a second.

29:20 Drew What is going on?

29:22 Adam Well, this is what happens.

29:23 Drew Oh, my God.

29:24 Adam I got myself a couple of DVDs and it is just goddamn dangerous.

29:28 Drew It's like, oh, my God.

29:30 Adam You know what? You know, because the only thing more humiliating than, you know, a grown man just sit in front of his big screen beating off is beating off in slow motion or stop action or that A and B where this one button you hit where it reverses five seconds and then reverses five seconds and revert, you know, you keep hitting this button. It's amazing. I mean, I'm like a replay official in the NFL. I got my head under the hood over there. I'm slow motion from 100 different angles. It's really it's humiliating.

30:01 Drew Do you have a penis repair kit or something there in case things pull it right off?

30:05 Adam Registered nurse.

30:06 Drew A nurse. That's good. Okay. I feel better.

30:08 Adam Yeah.

30:09 Caller Yeah.

30:10 Adam I got to talk to Greg about where his life is heading. Greg?

30:13 Caller What?

30:13 Adam What are you doing for a living?

30:15 Caller I'm the guy with the red pivot care.

30:18 Drew He's an idiot.

30:19 Adam Oh, I see.

30:21 Drew He's a clown.

30:22 Adam So you're quite comfortable.

30:24 Caller You don't remember me.

30:25 Adam No, did we talk about your red pubes?

30:27 Caller Well, you made fun of me because I was molested and you know the story.

30:32 Adam Oh, wait. No, I don't think I made fun of you because you were molested.

30:36 Caller Let's get off the subject.

30:37 Adam Oh, this guy. Yeah.

30:39 Drew Was I here?

30:40 Adam Yeah. I don't remember. Drew, were you here when this guy was getting all angry? We're trying to talk to him about something.

30:46 Drew Was I here?

30:47 Adam I think you were here.

30:48 He said that he gets his pubic hairs from the guy that molested him because his molester was redheaded.

30:54 Oh, yeah.

30:56 Drew We were all very nervous. Okay. Got it.

30:59 I actually asked Damien where he was calling from.

31:01 Drew Yes. I never called him.

31:02 Adam All right, Greg. You listen. Take care of yourself. I don't know about the clitoral.

31:08 Drew Well, let's address it in deference to Greg.

31:11 Why?

31:13 Adam It doesn't exist, does it?

31:15 Drew No, because men have real confusion about that anatomy. What does contract are the muscles of the floor of the pelvis, basically the muscles that you would contract to interrupt a flow of urine.

31:25 Adam Right.

31:26 Drew And when that constricts, you can see a little movement of the front part of the genitalia, but it's not anything actually happening there. It's just sort of pulling down. Right. The actual constriction is that the vaginal walls will close in, and the perineum contracts.

31:42 Adam Hey, Greg?

31:42 Caller Yeah.

31:43 Adam All right. There's your answer there, buddy.

31:45 Caller Hey.

31:46 Adam Hey.

31:46 Caller Adam, I love you.

31:47 Adam Love you, buddy. Now, take care of yourself.

31:49 Drew I agree.

31:49 Adam All right. Well, there you go. We got off on the wrong foot last time, he called.

31:53 Drew Now, we're healed.

31:54 Adam Now, he loves me.

31:55 Drew It's all better.

31:55 Hey, here's the guy that said that you weren't white.

31:57 Drew Whatever.

31:58 Caller He said you're not even white, remember?

31:59 Adam Yeah.

32:01 Drew Good times.

32:04 Adam Hey, Jesse?

32:05 Yeah.

32:05 Adam You're 27?

32:07 Caller Yeah.

32:08 I've got two things to talk to you about.

32:10 Adam All right.

32:10 First off, it's more of a political question if you don't mind. President Bush said today that anyone, basically anyone who is buying illegal drugs, I'm assuming that's including marijuana, is in support of terrorism.

32:24 Caller And I wanted to know both of your views on that.

32:27 Drew I think it's a brilliant marketing campaign.

32:29 Adam Yeah. I mean, it's a little spurious, but all right. All right, listen, when you buy anything black market-wise, the money goes to people who are, you know, essentially what the mafia was 70 years ago during a probation, you know what I mean? The money's going into the wrong hands. Doesn't necessarily mean it's going to blow up commercial jetliners.

32:56 Drew If you're buying heroin, you're probably heading back that direction.

32:59 Adam A certain percentage of certain drugs is probably heading into a part of the region, in a part of the world that we don't want the money to go to. On the other hand, I would say to Bush, hey, you and your goddamn Texas oil buddies could have got us some domestic oil in this country and explored alternative fuels instead of sending billions of dollars into that part of the world. You retard. Of course. There's enough oil out there in the Gulf of Mexico, so we don't have to peddle all this money to the Middle East. And it's the Bushes and the Bush family that is making sure that a lot of these old policies stay in place and a lot of these oil guys get rich. So I would ask him that question. What's worse, me buying a dime bag or you with our continued reliance on fossil fuels that you guys have made sure we've been reliant on for 30 years now?

34:01 Drew Al Qaeda and terrorist organizations are not connected to oil money. We've got both.

34:07 Adam You know, it's funny. People use the F word on the air and then they're like, pardon my French. Anyway, let me keep going with my points. Hello, you can't keep going when you use the F word. Now, I was kind of curious about his point though. I know Anderson doesn't like it, but he said they blocked off the borders on 911. See, this is where it all goes south. Here's the problem with everybody and every group as we always talked about. They go to extreme. They all go nutty. Yeah. They all go nutty. There's that group of Americans that smooth move, XLACs. There's that Drew snuck the can off the console here. There's a group of Americans who think not only do Americans and the CIA and the government run things that are sort of under the table kind of stuff abroad, which they do, but they're actually against the United States. That the CIA and the FBI, you know what their plan is?

35:07 Drew Overthrow the government.

35:08 Adam Overthrow them.

35:11 Drew The man.

35:12 Adam They are the man. Yeah. They want to tap you man because they want to know what you're thinking man. They want to know what you're talking. No, they're against us. See, that's where the paranoia comes in.

35:25 Drew And I was sitting at dinner the other night and someone would start going, and we're giving up our rights and we can, I thought, oh, you're an attorney.

35:31 Adam Right.

35:32 Drew I never met her before. I said, you're an attorney. Because a rational person, the people whose really rights we're concerned about, will stop that from happening.

35:41 Adam Yeah. It's like I said, every time you worry about the government attacking its country, look at it this way. I was basically saying this and then we'll move on and help the kiddies. Look at this country as a corporation. Let's just say we're, I like to use my automotive analogies. Let's use that. Let's just say we're Ford and, you know, Europe is GM and Japan can be Nissan and the Middle East, that can be Chevy or something like that, right? Even though Chevy is owned by GM. But let's just keep it going this way. We do things that are good for Ford. And once in a while, just like a corporation, we're willing to screw a couple of employees and a couple of people and other corporations and even our own every once in a while. But overall, we do what's best for Ford. We're not interested in screwing our own company. That's what people think. I mean, they think, you know, the FBI, they're trying to screw the citizens of the United States. No, they're not against, this is their company. They got to make sure this company prospers or they're going to be out of a gig. They'll screw other people, and once in a while, they'll screw some lower level guys, like they'll lay off some guys and do some crap like that. But ultimately, they're looking out for Ford. Thank you. John? Yeah. You're 20? Oh boy. Yeah.

37:04 Caller Hi. How's it going, Adam? Um, okay. I have this girlfriend that I've been seeing for a year and a half. And when we started going out, she had this boyfriend. I had a girlfriend too and she had a boyfriend who's been, she's been seeing for three years. And I guess she got with me because she was ready to stop seeing this guy because he's a total loser. He's like a stoner and stuff.

37:25 Drew And he was, he was with, she was with this total loser for three years.

37:29 Caller Yeah. Three years.

37:30 Drew So she must have found something appealing in him, right?

37:32 Caller Yeah.

37:33 Drew I don't know.

37:33 Caller I think, well, she was in high school and she started seeing him.

37:37 Drew So she was three, for three years, she must have been confused, eluded, hallucinating.

37:41 Caller Exactly.

37:42 Drew Oh, I see. Okay. All right. How old is he?

37:46 Caller She is 18.

37:47 Drew Okay. How old is he? How old is he?

37:49 Caller He is about 20.

37:50 Adam My mom? My mom's 44.

37:53 Drew What's your question?

37:54 Caller Okay. Well, anyway, recently she's been seeing him because since she's been going out with him for three years, I guess she developed a good relationship, been like a friendship kind of thing. Recently, she's been like hanging out with him and he comes down from school. He goes to school up north. And I was always cool with that and everything. Like he'd come down, she'd hang out with him and everything. But when we were going out for three months, like she kind of like, she was with him. That kind of killed my trust, you know?

38:24 Adam Yeah. How did you find out they fooled around?

38:26 Caller She told me. She told everything.

38:28 Drew Well, no.

38:29 Caller In a way, I do trust her.

38:30 Drew So her delirium recurred?

38:33 Caller No, no, no, no, no, no. She just tells me.

38:35 Drew No, no. But I mean, this delirium that causes her to seek this loser.

38:40 Caller What's delirium?

38:41 Adam All right. Well, look. Hey, John. Okay. So now what?

38:47 Caller Okay. Now, well, every time she hangs out with them, she tells me everything, like, he's having a crappy life and everything, and he needs her to be there. And she tells me, like, she hugs him and stuff, and she'll kiss him on the cheek by.

39:01 Adam Okay. John, quiet down. Quiet down there, John. Now, listen to me.

39:04 Caller I'm getting my question, like, right now.

39:06 Adam All right. Hold on, then, idiot. I want to smack this kid, shake him like a paint can. First off, what chick is, I know it's not quite the right terminology, but what broads balls the enough to do this? You got an ex-boyfriend, you get popped screwing around with the ex-boyfriend. Anybody knows, okay, now it's over. I mean, no way. Would you have balls big enough to tell your wife, oh, yeah, now we're hanging out again?

39:36 Drew Just a friend.

39:38 Adam Yeah. We were going out and three months into our relationship, I got busted for screwing around with this ex.

39:43 Drew But now-

39:43 Adam No, it's been six months.

39:45 Caller Don't worry. Don't worry.

39:45 Adam We're just hugging. I mean, that's major way of us.

39:49 Drew Well, look, now that here's the insanity of it, it's like, I'm telling you everything. I'm being truthful. As though by being truthful, it excuses any and all behaviors.

39:57 Adam Right.

39:57 Drew Well, I'm telling you the truth.

39:59 Adam Okay. Listen, I'm going to, we're going to get back. I'm going to yell at John for just a moment.

40:02 Drew Excellent.

40:03 Adam And then we'll move on.

40:38 Caller Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah, yeah, woohoo, woohoo, yeah. All right.

40:45 Adam Hey, man, maybe a little lightning round tonight.

40:48 Drew We have not had one in quite so long.

41:21 Adam Idiots. Babs.

41:23 Caller Idiots.

41:24 Adam 65 degrees blah, blah, blah, blah. They say it's going to cool down to 62 by 5, blah, blah, blah. Then the sun. You know what time the sun's coming up?

41:30 Caller Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

41:33 Adam Yeah. Is there a goddamn thing you could change about any of the information I give you?

41:37 Caller Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

41:41 Adam It's nine o'clock straight up. That's one hour from 10.

41:45 Caller Hold on.

41:46 Adam Let me get my scratch pad, you tards. Keep the nonsense coming, so we don't have to talk about anything.

41:53 Drew As opposed to what you're doing right now?

41:55 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

41:58 Drew John, so we don't think it's okay that she should hang out with the ex-boyfriend. In fact, we think that's incredibly ballsy. Though there's a lot more about her than you're willing to accept.

42:10 Adam So you need to lay the law down.

42:12 Drew Yeah, I expect...

42:14 Caller First, let me get... I know we can discuss this forever and ever, but we're running out of time before I get to ask my true question. But okay, without breaking up with her... We both love each other very much, and we're very on...

42:26 Drew Very much, very much.

42:27 Caller Yes. Without breaking up with her, what can I do to solve this problem and not contain this jealousy, anger feeling I have?

42:37 Drew My suspicion...

42:39 Caller Go ahead. Answer, answer.

42:41 Drew Almost ready for one. But listen, John. Did she get high with him? Or did she?

42:47 Caller She used to a lot, but she doesn't do anything with him anymore.

42:49 Drew That's what I'm getting here. She's an addict. Is pot primarily her drug?

42:55 Caller No.

42:56 Drew What do they do? What drug?

42:57 Caller She smoked pot at the beginning of high school, and she's already out of high school.

43:00 Drew What drug was she doing with her boyfriend?

43:03 Caller She used to tweak until senior year. She never did it anymore.

43:07 Drew John, there's no such thing as they used to anything. You either are an addict or you are not. Maybe you used to have a particular drug of choice, but you're still an addict. She's an addict. He's an addict. They share their disease together. She's going back to it. She's drawn into it. The only way that there's going to be any change, you're not going to be able to change her. You can change yourself. You can go to Al-Anon. That might wake her up, but also might get you disengaged from this messy situation, which is indeed a mess. She's an addict.

43:34 Adam John, listen to that. What can I do and not break up because we're very much in love. We're both very truthful. That's just nonsense BS. Listen, you got a handful here and you got to be prepared to break up if she doesn't take care of business. That's the only thing you can use.

43:53 Drew She shared her disease with the other guy. They got high together. This kid is just the codependent that supports her, but she's got to be supported in her disease, and that's getting back with the old guy.

44:03 Adam David, you're 20 years old, has that all along?

44:06 Caller Yeah.

44:08 Caller That way?

44:10 Caller Sorry about that. First off, Adam, I just want to say, I get a kick out of listening to you at night.

44:14 Caller I was saying I was going to ride back on Saturday.

44:17 Caller Yeah, yeah. Anyway, well, I do have this question for you, Dr. Drew, about AIDS. I heard that when you have it, there's little purple spots that you'll see on skin.

44:27 Drew Well, if you get Kaposi's sarcoma.

44:31 Caller Really? Well, my question is, then, see, I've noticed these little purple spots that I have on my skin.

44:37 Drew Do you have HIV?

44:38 Caller I don't think I do. I've been tested a few different times, and I'm wondering if that's not it, what else it could be.

44:44 Drew Well, there are purple spots that are normal. You take aspirin or anti-inflammatories or anything?

44:50 Caller Not usually.

44:52 Drew Somebody has to look at them, David. Your purple just bruises.

44:56 Caller I know it's not a bruise. It's really like a bright colored purple, and I've had them for, you know, where do you have them? Well, I have one on my stomach, on the left side of my stomach, and I have one up on my chest.

45:06 Drew Oh, no, no, no, those are normal. Those are arteriovenous malformations, they're normal, or venous legs, they're normal.

45:11 Adam I had that in my eyelids once after I was heaving all night.

45:14 Drew That's a little different, that's petechia, that's busted blood vessels. This is a normal, stable growth he's got.

45:23 Adam Slept in my driveway, made it up to my bed, had gravel in my cheek from sleeping on the driveway. I was 16.

45:33 Drew Now that would kill you.

45:34 Adam Heaved many times.

45:35 Drew You know what I'm saying? You would not survive that now.

45:37 Adam No, I wouldn't.

45:38 Drew If you did, you'd have to take like six weeks off.

45:40 Adam I was heaving and heaving and heaving. I spent the whole day in bed. My eyelids were just completely screwed the next day. They just like blew them out from dry heaving so many times.

45:54 Drew I'm so proud.

45:55 Adam Yeah. Hey, David. Yeah. You already talked to you. Yeah.

46:00 Drew We're done with you.

46:01 Adam Yeah. All right, dude. Well, Drill, let me tell you what's on tab. Blah, blah, blah, traffic, blah, blah, weather, blah, blah, blah, news. We'll be breaking in for news every blah, blah, blah, and we'll be standing by with blah, blah, blah, and we'll be shooting to the Loveline 1 helicopter up there, blah, blah, blah, the slow and go.

46:32 Here it is.

46:32 Adam Bottom line, it sucks being single today.

46:35 Caller Tons of lame people and no decent prospects.

46:37 Call the Dateline.

46:38 Caller Call the Dateline. Call the Dateline.

46:40 1-877-889-DATE.

46:45 Caller Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready. Ready. Ready.

47:28 Caller Hey, everybody.

47:30 Adam Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Drew over there.

47:33 Caller All right.

47:37 Adam What the hell is this call, Drew?

47:40 Drew We've had him before.

47:41 Adam Okay. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-191. And let's get back to the phones. Speak to Shakita.

47:51 Caller It's Shakita. I thought you said Eda or something. Never mind. Anyway, my question is for Drew because I had called before. I don't know if y'all remember me or not. I had called before about the filthy stank chair and about the hot car. And y'all had to know what the hot car was, but that don't even matter because I ain't worried about it no more. But anyway, my question was because see, me and my boyfriend is having sex. And like he is, you know, in me or whatever. And like I like to push, you know, because for whatever reason, you know, it feels good. I was wondering what the long term like effects of that could be. You know what I'm saying?

48:26 Adam Hold on a second. Now we all, the beauty of radio is it's sort of theater of the mind.

48:32 Yeah.

48:33 Adam I'm picturing a Cameron Diaz type.

48:36 Drew Yeah.

48:37 Adam Sort of leggy, blonde, blue eyed.

48:40 Drew What's a male though?

48:45 Yeah.

48:46 Adam Oh.

48:46 Drew You okay?

48:50 Adam Cameron Diaz is not, is that's Cameron? That's a girl?

48:54 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

48:54 Oh.

48:57 Drew But a male version of that. Yeah.

48:59 Adam Right. Right.

48:59 Drew Yeah. Either that or. Yeah.

49:01 Adam Right. Shakita?

49:03 Caller Yeah. I'm here.

49:05 Adam Right. This is Shakita the guy, right?

49:08 Caller Yeah. Yes. I am a male.

49:09 Adam And you're gay, right?

49:11 Caller Yes. That is correct.

49:12 Adam All right. And now, the dirty Sanchez was explained the last time. Yeah.

49:16 Caller It was something with like a figure.

49:18 Drew All right.

49:19 Adam But what's the dirty Carl?

49:21 Caller The hot Carl.

49:22 Adam The hot Carl.

49:22 Caller Y'all never even asked it for me. Y'all said, y'all came back, because y'all put me on hold for break, and then y'all came back for break. Y'all even wasn't even interested in me. I could tell, because y'all would be tired of me or whatever. And I was like, OK, because y'all didn't even explain it to me. Y'all just cut me off.

49:37 Adam Well, we didn't know what the answer was, and we may have run out of time. But I'm very interested in you, Shakira, as I am in all my listeners.

49:43 Caller And well, I was because I would hope so. And I told y'all last time that there is definitely not enough black people calling here because I told you guys last time, y'all. I don't know if y'all is racial discriminatory or whatever it is.

49:55 Adam Blacks.

49:56 Caller Well, it's just something there ain't enough of them calling. It should sound like a racial thing, you know. I think that more of us should be calling, that's all.

50:04 Adam Well, you know, I know people do kind of feel that way in life. We need more of these people doing this and more of those people doing that. And like, we got a lot of black airport guys, but we don't have enough black cops or firemen. I've accepted that there's certain things white folks gravitate toward. And there's certain things that black folks gravitate toward.

50:27 Caller But what's wrong with gravitating toward like some, you know, some information about sex? There's nothing wrong with that.

50:33 It has nothing to do with sex.

50:34 Adam Everybody's interested in that. Absolutely. And I wish all 33 million black Americans listen to this show. I absolutely do. I have no problem with that. But I don't feel like we have to curtail the show to get this certain group or go after them in any way. We'll just do as good a show as we can do and hopefully...

50:54 Caller You guys do a very good job.

50:55 Adam Thank you.

50:55 Caller And you know, Drew, you know, you be a fine man. Oh, my goodness.

50:59 Adam Yeah, he's tight.

51:00 Caller He is. I bet he is.

51:01 Adam And low mileage rectally.

51:03 Caller Low mileage.

51:04 Adam Very low. Brand new.

51:06 Caller But I like pushing.

51:07 Adam His ass still has that new ass smell.

51:10 Caller Nice.

51:10 Caller Like a new car, but still looks like a new ass.

51:12 Adam But it's ass, yeah.

51:13 Caller That's right.

51:14 Caller That's right. I like that smell.

51:15 Adam And let me tell you something, too, Shakita. Drew, passionate, passionate man.

51:21 Caller I think I've covered this. Okay. I've been listening for long enough. You was a millionaire, literally. Literally. And you're a passionate, passionate man.

51:27 Adam Passionate man. And let me, let me give you, and Drew, don't chime in. Okay. Here's what I think about Drew from a homosexual standpoint. He's not, he's not gay. And I wouldn't expect him to be gay. But because he's a passionate man, I think once he got started, he'd finish. Do you know what I'm saying, Shakita?

51:47 Drew Once you got me in.

51:50 Adam Once you got Drew going, I believe he would keep going. That's what I'm saying. That's what I believe. That's what I believe. You are the primer.

52:00 Caller I'm the primer.

52:01 Adam You would get, you would get Drew going. And being a passionate, passionate man, he's like one of these guys who, like these guys who have gay sex in prison. They're not gay. They're just, they got a lot of love.

52:14 Caller Yeah, I understand what you're saying.

52:15 Adam And once they get going, they get going.

52:17 Caller I understand. It makes perfect sense.

52:19 Drew, you up for it?

52:21 Drew I think I'm falling in love.

52:22 Caller I think you are too. I think you are too.

52:26 Adam And not only that, what a feather would be in your camp to have a doctor.

52:30 Caller I know, a white rich doctor.

52:32 Adam A white rich doctor as a lover.

52:35 Drew You'd need to bring the millionaire along, so you'd have to come.

52:38 Caller That is great.

52:39 Adam Right, right. And you know, if, I don't know how your family is with your lifestyle, but I bet it would be, I bet they'd be okay once they caught Drew pullin up.

52:47 Caller You know what, I bet they would too. We could drive up in like one of them Escalades all tripped out, you know what I'm sayin, with the drink holders? Hell yeah.

52:55 Adam Yeah, yeah. You see, you see, that, there's, you see, black trumps gay because, because the black drives the Escalade, but the gay wants the convertible. Well, yeah. But you said Escalade.

53:07 Caller They have an inverted, if any, you know, convertible Escalade just yet, so we can...

53:11 Adam Yeah, but that would be good, right?

53:12 Caller Hell yeah, that would be good. Catching some, you know, my skin can take it, you know, skin can't take it. I'll paste it. Y'all be getting skin cancer. I don't think I said it. It's worth it.

53:22 Drew Almost, almost.

53:23 Caller It's an unbelievable story.

53:25 Adam Yeah. All right. All right, Shakita.

53:27 Drew I work on it. Was that, was that Willie Nelson?

53:31 Adam Oh, that was Willie Nelson.

53:34 Caller It's an unbelievable story.

53:36 Adam Well, Shakita and you and Drew make a nice, nice couple.

53:39 Drew I can't see it now.

53:40 Caller We can do with that.

53:41 Drew We never answer this question about him causing a problem by pushing while he's being entered.

53:48 Adam Well, listen.

53:48 Drew I don't see what is a problem there particularly.

53:51 Adam You also run the risk on this show if you want to talk about ancillary subjects such as the dirty Sanchez, you run the risk of us rambling on too long in your dream homosexual relations with Dr. Drew and that stuff, of us never getting to your question. Bobby? Yeah. You're 18?

54:09 Drew Be fair, that happens almost a matter of what.

54:11 Adam Yeah.

54:12 Drew Okay.

54:12 Adam That's true.

54:13 Drew All right, Bobby. What's up?

54:14 Caller My question is, every time about to have sex, right, I can't get erect and I don't do drugs, I'm not on any medication at all, I don't smoke. I just want to know if there's anything wrong with me.

54:26 Drew How many times has this happened?

54:28 Caller It's happened like every single time.

54:30 Drew You're gay. How many times?

54:31 Caller I'm not gay.

54:32 Drew How many times?

54:34 Caller It's been like five or six times.

54:37 Drew And it's been with a different woman each time?

54:38 Caller It's been different each time and I'm not gay.

54:42 Drew What about trying to get it together with a single person you start to sort of work it out with?

54:47 Caller I'm in a relationship right now and every single time I try to have sex with her, I just can't do that.

54:53 Drew Let's do the math again, Bobby. You said it's happened five times.

54:56 Caller Yeah.

54:57 Drew And every single time it's been with a different woman?

54:59 Caller Yes.

55:00 Drew So you've only tried it once with your current girlfriend?

55:02 Adam Yeah.

55:03 Drew Okay. Why don't you keep trying to work it out with her?

55:08 Adam Only our callers are stupid enough to count once is every time. But technically they're right.

55:14 Drew That's right.

55:15 Adam But they will still phrase it that way.

55:17 Drew I know.

55:18 Adam Every time I've tried to have sex with this girl, I can't get her to do it. How many times have you tried it? Once. That is 100%.

55:25 Drew Every time.

55:27 Adam Every time I flip a coin, it lands on tails. How many times have you flipped a coin? Once. When it lands on tails?

55:34 Drew Every time.

55:35 Adam Well, you know what?

55:37 Drew Each and every time.

55:38 Adam I think they beat us on the technicality. All right. Bobby, you need to settle in with this girl and find your rhythm in your groove. Don't freak yourself out. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just find your groove.

55:53 Drew Try to be comfortable with her. Just kind of see what happens.

55:56 Caller All right.

55:57 Adam It'll work its way out. Believe you me. Have confidence, my brother.

56:01 Caller All right.

56:02 Adam All right.

56:03 Drew Thank you.

56:03 Caller Thank you.

56:04 Drew He's like revived. Oh, Adam, thank you. God bless you.

56:08 Adam Megan?

56:09 Yeah.

56:09 Adam You're 17?

56:10 Caller Yes.

56:11 Adam What is it?

56:12 Caller Well, I have a problem. I met this guy that's really cool, but he's Mexican, and I'm Caucasian, and my dad is really racist. And I know this guy really likes me, and I don't want to date him, but I at least want to hang out with him. And I've never had a friend of another race, and I don't know how to talk to my dad about this.

56:32 Drew Where did you meet him?

56:33 Caller I go to this club regularly every weekend.

56:36 Drew How did your dad become such a racist? And what's that all about?

56:40 Caller Well, he claims it started when he said that he didn't used to be, but like his 18-year-old brother picked up a hitchhiker, and he was black, and he stabbed him to death. And that was when my dad started to become racist. That's what he said.

56:57 Drew So he had to sort of generalize his rage at everyone that looked like that one guy.

57:01 Adam Well, does this count for the Mexicans, too?

57:06 Caller Yeah, like he doesn't like blacks, Mexicans, Indians, nothing.

57:12 Drew Why does he have to know that you're hanging out with this guy?

57:15 Caller Well, because right now it's not a big deal, but he just recently started calling my house, and I wanted to be able to actually go out and do things with him.

57:28 Adam Does the guy got, what's the guy's name?

57:31 Caller It's...

57:32 Adam You don't have to give me his last name. Is his name Sanchez or is he got a normal name?

57:36 Caller No, it's Kyle.

57:37 Adam Kyle?

57:38 Caller Kyle.

57:39 Adam No, Mexican Alive named Kyle.

57:41 Caller But, well he is, he's Mexican, half Mexican and half Indian. But he looks pretty Mexican.

57:48 Adam Which kind, what kind of Indian?

57:51 Caller I think Native American.

57:52 Caller Oh, all right.

57:54 Drew You think Native American?

57:55 Caller Well, see, I haven't met his parents yet.

57:58 Adam You don't know if it's...

57:59 Caller I'm not sure, but he doesn't look like he's mixed with the other kind. I'm just going based on what he looks like.

58:05 Adam Middle Eastern, I mean the 7-Eleven type Indian, right?

58:09 Caller Right.

58:10 Adam Okay. Nothing wrong with the stereotype, Drew.

58:13 Drew Is his last name Singh?

58:15 Adam You love with this guy?

58:17 Caller No. I mean, I have a little bit of a crush on him, but I don't want to beat him.

58:21 Adam Is his last name Singh or Trotting Bull?

58:27 Caller It's a Mexican last name.

58:29 Adam Oh, okay. All right. Okay. All right. Do you think, I mean, is your dad a bad guy besides the racism part?

58:39 Caller He's pretty, I don't know, he might go over the deep end.

58:42 Adam Really?

58:43 Caller Where's my brother?

58:43 Yeah, I don't kind of psycho.

58:45 Adam What about you dating in general?

58:47 Caller Oh, well, he really doesn't throw as big of a fit about it as I thought he would. He's really pretty good about it.

58:54 Adam About the dating?

58:55 Caller Uh-huh.

58:55 Drew Where's your mom? Could she help you sort of buffer this thing?

58:57 Caller Well, I talked to her about it, and she pretty much made it clear that bringing up dating would not be a good thing. But she told me to talk to dad about it, but then she contradicts herself at the same time.

59:08 Drew About dating?

59:09 Adam Well, we're more interested in dating than the racial part.

59:13 Drew Have you talked to her about that?

59:14 Caller Yeah.

59:15 Drew What did she say?

59:15 Caller She knows about him, and first she'll tell me that she thinks it's fine, and I should just talk to him about it, because I'm almost 18, and I should be able to hang out with people from this group.

59:24 Drew Yeah, you need to move. Are you going to college next year?

59:28 Caller About a year and a half.

59:31 Drew Junior college.

59:33 Caller No, no, no, not at all.

59:34 Adam Do you get to get out of the house and stuff, though?

59:37 Caller Oh yeah, I get out every weekend.

59:38 Adam Let's see where it goes with this guy, and then just kind of keep it under your hat. Who the hell wants to see anybody? He wants to bring the boyfriend around anyway at 17.

59:47 Caller Well, I always do. My parents are really nice.

59:50 Drew Yeah, but your dad is behaving in a way that he doesn't deserve to be included in your life. I hate to say it, but it's really the way he's behaving, and in a way that's reprehensible. If you learn to put that aside a little bit, contain his feelings, then fine. Include him in your life. That's great.

1:00:06 Adam Deal with your mom, too, and see if you can enlist her a little bit. Oh, listen. Listen, all you racist guys. You screw it up for all us semi-racist guys. You really do. You give us a bad image. This is what everyone complains about. It's a handful of you idiots screwing it for everybody. You really are. You really do. This country is basically good, and 99 percent of the people are decent, and you got the 1 percent making the minorities think that everyone's racist, because you loud idiots. Stop it, please. You're screwing all of us. Listen, if you want to be racist, fine, just shut up about the whole thing. That's really my argument. Don't talk about it. Don't broadcast it.

1:00:55 Drew Then just shut up.

1:00:56 Adam Thank you. Please, with the marches and the whole thing and the clan hoods, you're screwing all of us. Jeremy? Yes. You're 31?

1:01:05 Caller Yes.

1:01:06 Drew What's up?

1:01:06 Adam What's up?

1:01:07 Caller Well, I got a question. What exactly puts someone in the category for needing to take Viagra?

1:01:13 Drew When they have a medical condition or side effects from a medication that prevents them from getting or sustaining an erection.

1:01:20 Adam Drew, did you just read that from a wristband? And the medical condition could be impotence. That's what you're talking about, right?

1:01:30 Drew Impotence is kind of a non-specific term. I'm talking it is for erectile dysfunction of a medical cause.

1:01:37 Adam Well, it could be of a psychological cause.

1:01:39 Drew If it were profound, I guess. I mean, yeah, I suppose.

1:01:42 Adam Why? What do you want to do with your penis, Jeremy?

1:01:46 Caller Well, my only problem is I'm in a relationship with a female, and I cannot seem to... I'm not under any medication. I don't believe I have any medical problems going on at the moment. But when I try to just have prolonged sex, I can't seem to do it.

1:02:03 Drew How long is prolonged?

1:02:05 Caller More than five minutes.

1:02:07 Drew Okay. And Viagra will make that worse.

1:02:09 Adam You can't... well, hold on.

1:02:11 Drew It might make your orgasm quicker.

1:02:12 Adam Well, is he talking about orgasm or is he talking about keeping an erection?

1:02:16 Caller I want to keep my erection.

1:02:17 Adam So, you lose your erection five minutes into it. Well, maybe we'll lose something.

1:02:22 Drew After you orgasm? Correct. After you orgasm.

1:02:26 Adam Oh, you idiot. That's how you answer my question? Of course you lose your erection. So you're orgasming in five minutes? Right. Okay. So, good. Then Viagra is not going to help you.

1:02:39 Drew Because prozac medicines like that may delay ejaculation, but you just need to have a masturbate before you have sex or something. You work it out with your girlfriend.

1:02:50 He's an idiot.

1:02:51 Adam It's always the longest possible route on this show.

1:02:55 I know.

1:02:56 Adam I don't know.

1:02:56 Drew You have to be kind of a mind reader.

1:02:58 Adam Yeah, well sometimes I'm right and sometimes you're right. Drew assumed that him saying I had sex for five minutes meant that he orgasmed in five minutes. Me, because he was interested in Viagra.

1:03:11 Drew Also he said I lose my erection in five minutes.

1:03:14 Adam He said it that way. Well, after I asked him, me who thought he was calling about Viagra thought maybe he loses his erection in five, but we got to go round and round and round with the, yes, I lose my erection. Now, I don't even know what possesses Drew to ask about is after the orgasm because to me that's irrelevant.

1:03:34 Drew Why would I ask that?

1:03:35 Adam Yeah, it would be, it's answered by the way I asked the question, but you're smart. You realize that everyone who listens to the show has a monkey IQ. And anyway, I asked irrelevant questions, and that's why Dr. Drew is Dr. Drew. Amelia?

1:03:54 Caller Yeah.

1:03:55 Adam What's up there, sister?

1:03:57 Caller Well, I found out today that I had mono.

1:04:00 Caller Yeah.

1:04:01 Caller Fun, fun.

1:04:02 Adam Old school, right? Yeah. You don't hear about that mono as much as you used to.

1:04:06 Drew You still see it.

1:04:07 Adam Still around?

1:04:08 Drew How long?

1:04:08 Caller It's going around a lot. A lot of people at my school have it.

1:04:11 Drew How long have you had fever for?

1:04:13 Caller Well, about four days ago, I started getting, I thought I had strep throat.

1:04:18 Drew Right, right.

1:04:19 Caller And then I went in there.

1:04:20 Drew All right, got it.

1:04:21 Adam Okay. I wish I had mono in high school. What do you stay out for like four weeks, right?

1:04:28 Caller Well, I'm hoping my friend Rachel had it for like three months. Yeah.

1:04:34 Adam Yeah, but you got to shoot for at least six to eight weeks. Oh my God. Could you imagine this, Drew?

1:04:41 Caller It's horrible.

1:04:42 Caller Utopia.

1:04:43 Drew I had it when I was 18. I was so sick.

1:04:46 Adam Oh poor Drew. Oh, Drew. Oh, Drew, you had it during the school year?

1:04:52 Drew Very animus in here.

1:04:53 Adam Yeah. So you were like watching the homework hotline and sending people back and forth. They're like pack mules to get assignments and stuff, right? Singing at home with a fever, writing book reports.

1:05:05 Drew It was actually during this period at the very end, they called it the Senior Project. It was an independent project. I taught myself to type during that time.

1:05:14 Adam All right. I would have taught myself to masturbate even better. But all right. So yeah.

1:05:20 Caller My question was, my boyfriend's coming back into town and it's going to be Valentine's Day. I know that by kissing him, I can give him mono, but I didn't know if I could give it to him by giving him oral sex.

1:05:34 Drew Absolutely.

1:05:34 Adam Really?

1:05:35 Drew Yeah. It's a mucosal. The reason it transmit, it's across the lining of the mouth. The lining of the urethra is the same kind of surface as is the lining of the vagina. So even if he does something to you, he can get it.

1:05:47 Adam Well, what if he takes a leak?

1:05:49 Drew First?

1:05:50 Adam Immediately after?

1:05:51 Drew No.

1:05:51 Adam I'm talking about during.

1:05:52 Drew During. Maybe if he continuously urinated during the oral sex act.

1:05:55 Adam Continuous flow of urine.

1:05:57 Drew That might prevent the transmission.

1:05:58 Adam And what do we do? Just pop a hole in their cheek for drainage or?

1:06:02 Drew Under the chin.

1:06:02 Adam Oh, under the chin. That's right. Cheek would be, yeah, you're right. Smart. We actually, I'd pop a cheek hole for a breather hole. That helps drainage. A gill. A gill. Well, you know how it is when you're emptying a bottle. You know, when you buy that five-gallon sparkless thing, you got to punch a hole in it in order for it not to get the vacuum effect in there. That's what I'm saying. With the water.

1:06:26 Drew With the food. Right.

1:06:27 Adam Hey, all right. So that game off with the oral and the kissing, Drew?

1:06:32 Drew Yep. Sorry. I know. No good.

1:06:34 Adam God bless you, though, for saying... Imagine this. You got a girlfriend. I mean, this is a keeper. This is thinking, well, we can't kiss. That, I understand. But what about the oral? I'd risk it if I was a dude. You know what I'd do? I'd shove a Q-tip down. Take a Q-tip, dip it in alcohol. Probably shove it down there and just snap it off. That'll stop it. Nothing getting down there. Drew, seriously, but I know you never have, you don't have any real answers, but what about the oral thing? I mean, isn't there much less likelihood of her transmitting this disease through oral sex on him than there is of them making out with tongues? Do you know what I'm saying?

1:07:20 Drew It's a little more service area, but I don't know that there would be any difference in the penetration of the virus, really.

1:07:26 Adam Really?

1:07:27 Drew I mean, the mouth is not a great environment for viruses anyway.

1:07:31 Adam You think the urethra would be more hospitable?

1:07:33 Drew Yeah, I would.

1:07:35 Adam He could wear a condom.

1:07:37 Drew He could wear a condom. And then you'd get your desired look that you're after there, Adam.

1:07:43 Adam Right, right. I like to watch the ladies. Amelia? Yeah, I guess he could wear a condom.

1:07:49 Oh, okay.

1:07:50 Drew Don't get too excited now. Very thrilling.

1:07:53 Adam All right, but listen, you're sick. You should take it easy.

1:07:56 Oh.

1:07:57 Adam Maybe you're 17.

1:07:57 Caller Sometimes, you know, I thought I'd give him a little treat.

1:08:00 Adam Jesus Christ. Really, if I got a piece of chocolate shaped like a heart that was, you know, measured three quarters of an inch by three eighths of an inch thick, it was a great day for me.

1:08:13 Drew A valentine's day.

1:08:15 Adam Yeah. Just a little sack of those crappy little chalky tasting hearts.

1:08:21 Drew Valentine's Day is not for you.

1:08:23 Adam No.

1:08:24 Drew Not for the man.

1:08:25 Adam No, but listen, who the hell invented those little hearts that taste like chalk?

1:08:29 Drew Disgusting.

1:08:31 Adam Peppermint chalk?

1:08:32 Drew Yeah, that's for second graders.

1:08:33 Adam Is that what that is?

1:08:35 Drew Somebody was reminding me the other day that if you give flowers, you have to make sure they're sent to like the place of work because it's important that other people see your expression of love.

1:08:46 Adam Yeah, that wasn't me.

1:08:47 Caller Is that incredible?

1:08:50 Adam I just thought about that. Jesus Christ.

1:08:52 Drew Oh, you haven't ordered them yet? Oh, dude.

1:08:54 Adam You got to order them? Well, your wife is at home. You just bring the crap home, right?

1:09:01 Drew The roses stuff sell out way in advance. You got to get in line right now.

1:09:06 Adam It's great. You got to hear me order roses. Or order anything, anything with the flowers. They're like, well, you know what we're going to do? We have a boat. It's a wicker boat. It's wicker, but it's shaped like a boat. And it's really what we call the floral barge. And I'm like, listen, 90 bucks. That's the ceiling.

1:09:26 Caller You got it?

1:09:27 Adam Yeah. See, what we're going to do is we're going to take some angel's breath, and then we're going to take white. Listen, save it. I don't care. 90. That's your lid. That's the ceiling. Get it off. I want this to look as expensive as 90 bucks can possibly look. And I don't care if you spell it out. If it's a swastika made of black roses. Whatever you decide, that's great. Just make it look like I spent 100.

1:09:51 Drew You better hope your girlfriend's not listening.

1:09:53 Adam No, she doesn't. Nobody I know listens to this show.

1:09:55 Drew Your grandma. She's going to be pissed. All the women are offended.

1:10:00 Adam They're pissed with the god damn work flowers. And you know what the worst is? If you got a woman that works in a place with a lot of other women and you don't send something.

1:10:09 Drew Oh, and it's got to compete. It's got to outwit the rest of the crowd.

1:10:12 Adam Well, not only that, but here's what happens. They're sitting there and here's what you're going to get later that night. I saw the flower guy came in. He came in about noon and he had a beautiful, beautiful arrangement and he started walking toward my desk and I thought it was going to and he went over to Cheryl Rosenblum's desk and dropped it off there and I could not believe and then another and then another. Nothing stopped. Do you understand now? Now you're being punished.

1:10:43 Drew Then it's the ones you brought here, the ones you brought home tonight. I think that's very nice.

1:10:48 Adam No, no, you're screwed. You have to send them to work so that the other chicks at work can understand that she has her man whipped like you guys got your guy whipped, entrained, and broken.

1:11:02 Caller Jump through the hoop, through the hoop.

1:11:05 Adam Puny balls, right through that hoop. Now I have a girlfriend. We're very much in love.

1:11:11 Caller No.

1:11:13 Adam And you know, you hear these commercials, all these commercials now, you know, with the ladies talking, chocolates, flowers, that's not going to cut it any more, Phelps. I'm always like, screw you, bitch. You're lucky you get anything. I'm yelling at the radio. What's in it for us? You know, all we do with Valentine's, let's see if we can break even. Let's see if we can dodge a bullet. How can we get through this day without having our women pissed? That's all we're doing. Not for a hot second do we ever think about anything. Oh, this is going to be a great day. No. You know what this is for us? This is traffic court. Let's see if we can get through it and get out without being arrested.

1:11:55 Drew Yeah, but men, it is the most anxiety provoking holiday for men of the year. Men, first of all, you have no instinct for it. We're freaked out. We don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. We know it's not going to be good.

1:12:06 Adam Let me tell you the problem. You must, and this is your problem, Drew. You have not established yourself as a retard emotionally who is incapable of any gesture of love at all. Once you do that, then I bet, you know, I could, I could, I could deliver a square foot of sod that was on fire and it would be a great day.

1:12:26 Drew You're going to have your girlfriend's boot three feet up your ass.

1:12:29 Adam No, you see, your wife expects things out of you. That's your problem. You got to, you have to, it's like I have a brain injury. You have to establish yourself as like a retard.

1:12:40 Drew Well, then she's going to get the gifts from her other lover. Yeah.

1:12:46 Adam Really? We'll be back.

1:12:48 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Love Line will be right back.

1:13:28 Adam Hey, yeah, Ace in his tinted shades. The ones that are a little darker on the top and lighter on the bottom. Leather jacket, moving in slow motion.

1:13:40 Drew I think they're darker on the top and lighter on the bottom.

1:13:42 Adam Oh, do I say that way around?

1:13:43 Drew I think so.

1:13:44 Adam Yeah, moving through the crowd, hair slick back, supermodel spinning and turning.

1:13:51 Drew The perm is looking good tonight.

1:13:52 Adam Slugging off his foreign beer.

1:13:56 Caller Moving, moving, moving.

1:13:58 Drew Moving around.

1:13:58 Adam Bouncing like a million bucks. Yeah, that's my life, everybody. I walk around my house doing this, slow motion. Boots that zip up on the side. Just can't wait to be rolled on down that chode again.

1:14:13 Drew We should be able to come up with some good lyrics for that.

1:14:15 Adam Wake them hookers and sleep like a baby all night. Willie Nelson appreciated my singing.

1:14:23 Drew On the Chode Again?

1:14:25 Caller Yeah.

1:14:26 Drew I came up with that one.

1:14:27 That was pretty good.

1:14:28 Adam Yeah, you did. And I gave you credit for that at the office today, Drew. Ann?

1:14:33 Caller Yes.

1:14:33 Adam You're 19?

1:14:34 Caller Yeah.

1:14:36 Caller I have a question. Okay. I've been dating this guy for about three months now. And we recently just started being sexually active with each other. And he can't get it hard. It happened once. We're in a car, you know, no big deal. Maybe it was uncomfortable. It didn't pay any attention to it. A couple of times later, we tried to do it, and he couldn't get hard.

1:14:57 Drew Is there anything we should know about him? Yeah.

1:14:59 Caller He's on steroids. He's a big guy. He's on steroids.

1:15:02 Drew Well, that's a common side effect of steroids.

1:15:04 Caller That's what I thought, too, but he could come.

1:15:08 Caller He came three times.

1:15:09 Drew Yeah, possible.

1:15:10 Caller Oh, man.

1:15:12 Adam And that's a mess, too, when your penis is limp. I mean, it's all over the place.

1:15:16 Caller It's never happened with me with another guy.

1:15:18 Drew Well, he's on medication. What do you expect?

1:15:20 Caller So it's normal. I mean...

1:15:22 Drew Not normal. And there are many guys, there are a number I have treated, who end up with a penis their whole life after that.

1:15:29 Adam Wow. Well, so what ends up three times the guy orgasms?

1:15:35 Caller Yeah, like within like an hour.

1:15:36 Adam How?

1:15:37 Caller Jacking off.

1:15:39 Adam You were... he was doing it to himself?

1:15:42 Caller Yeah, he was doing it to himself and I'm here like, okay, what am I, you know, what now?

1:15:48 Adam And he finishes himself and then he says...

1:15:51 Drew What are you doing during all that?

1:15:52 Adam Yeah.

1:15:53 Caller I'm just like, I'm thinking he's going to get himself hard any minute.

1:15:56 Adam Oh, and something comes out?

1:15:58 Caller Yeah, and he starts, you know, coming. I'm like, what's going on? Once we had sex and it was hard, you know?

1:16:05 Adam Yeah.

1:16:06 Caller We did it.

1:16:06 Adam Right.

1:16:07 Caller It didn't last long, but hey, we had sex and then after that, I mean...

1:16:12 Adam And what made him go for the hat trick while you were there? I mean, he went for... What got him going with two and three?

1:16:19 Caller I don't know. I'm just like laying on top of him. I see him grabbing his, you know, and he's jacking off. I'm like, okay, I think, okay, in my head, I'm thinking, okay, he's going to get hard. He's trying to get himself hard. I don't know. And I didn't know he was on the stairs until after. And he's like, oh, I got to tell you something. I'm on the stairs. I'm thinking, okay, he's not digging me, you know?

1:16:38 Drew Well, I mean, it sounds like he's digging too much.

1:16:41 Adam Well, I'm still trying to figure out how he beat himself off three times in one setting, just in the bedroom. And he finished. And how long after the first one did the second one come?

1:16:54 Caller Um, the second one, we waited until a little bit, like 10, 15 minutes, and then he went at it again.

1:17:00 Adam And you're just hanging out again?

1:17:03 Caller Yeah, I'm just kissing him, thinking any minute now.

1:17:05 Adam And then number three?

1:17:07 Caller And then number two, and then after that, another 20 minutes. Let's try it again. And then number three.

1:17:12 Adam Jesus Christ.

1:17:14 Caller Yeah, I'm thinking, see, because I thought if a penis doesn't get hard, he can't come.

1:17:20 Drew Oh, no, you can.

1:17:21 Adam It's not easy. I've done that, you know, only when I'm drunk. I really got to work it, really work it. And when you're angry, you're getting angry.

1:17:29 Drew Yeah.

1:17:29 Adam What's that?

1:17:30 Caller And he's over here sweating big time.

1:17:32 Drew Yeah.

1:17:32 Adam Well, listen, I do three push ups. I'm sweating. I forget about cum three times.

1:17:37 Caller Wow.

1:17:38 Adam Yeah. Well, and listen, it's everywhere, right? I mean, when your penis is limp, you're beating off when something starts coming out, it's flopping all over, it's spraying all over the place, right?

1:17:49 Caller Yeah, it is.

1:17:50 Adam That's a disaster over there.

1:17:51 Drew Good times.

1:17:52 Adam Hey, at least he looks good with his shirt off while he's beating off.

1:17:56 Caller Oh, man. He needs to stop that. So is it possible that he could be like that for life then?

1:18:02 Drew It's possible. I've seen some cases like that. However, this is a situation where Viagra would be helpful. However, I hate the idea that he's taking chemicals that are not for his health, that are harmful to him, that are clearly having adverse effect on his body. And now he's going to take another medicine to counteract that.

1:18:21 Adam Why don't you try to get him off the juice, all right?

1:18:23 Caller I already did.

1:18:25 Adam Well, what's the deal?

1:18:26 Caller I'm into my body and you need to understand that.

1:18:29 Drew Yeah, he's into it, but he's destroying it.

1:18:31 Caller Yeah.

1:18:31 Adam He's into it, but his dork doesn't work.

1:18:34 Drew The other thing is people that are into steroids really truly get addicted to them. So he may actually need treatment. There's a lot of cross addiction between steroids and other stimulants like speed or cocaine. So look for that too with him.

1:18:45 Adam It's one of the most ironic things in the world that the guy who looks amazing with his shirt off, his penis doesn't work. I mean because really when you really break it down you're selling virility.

1:18:59 Drew Yeah.

1:19:00 Adam You know what I mean? When a guy works out a lot and he looks amazing and he's tanned and he's clean shaven and his muscles are rippling, essentially if you really just break it down to its lowest common denominator he's trying to attract women with this physique and the reason they're attracted to him is because he looks the most virile of all the men. Yet the penis doesn't work. He's in a pool of his own jizz going for number four there with a penis that is more like a fire hose that got hit with a surge of water than it is a penis.

1:19:37 Drew Water wiggle.

1:19:38 Adam Yeah, we used to call this water weenies when we were kids. Brad?

1:19:43 Caller Hey, what's going on guys?

1:19:44 Adam Hey, you're 18, what's happening?

1:19:46 Caller I just started going out with one of my friends.

1:19:48 We've been friends for about a year.

1:19:49 Caller And we just recently discovered we both liked each other. We decided to go out, try it out or whatever. Seems to be working out pretty good. And we became sexually active like a month ago. And she wants to have sex, but she's a virgin. And she says she doesn't want to do it because it hurts. And I was wondering if there's like anything like that might like reduce the pain or anything we could do, like make it easier for her.

1:20:14 Drew She's 18?

1:20:16 Caller Yeah.

1:20:17 Drew It really shouldn't be that painful at 18.

1:20:20 Caller She's not really a virgin. She's had sex before. It was like...

1:20:22 Drew Yeah. So she has a different problem. She has vaginismus. She has she's anxious about sex. She has spasm of the muscles down there that make it painful with penetration. So really, most importantly, you got to really take it very slow. Very slow. Very slow. Maybe not even be able to penetrate the first time.

1:20:40 Adam Well, what about lubrication?

1:20:42 Drew Lots of lubrication.

1:20:43 Adam How about...

1:20:44 Caller I don't know. I haven't tried it with her yet.

1:20:46 Drew No, no, no, no.

1:20:47 Adam We're saying whip up some, you know, get some lubrication.

1:20:50 Drew No matter what. Yeah, I get it.

1:20:51 Caller Yeah.

1:20:52 Drew All right.

1:20:53 Caller All right. Thanks, guys.

1:20:54 Adam Hey, good times. All right. All right. Hi, Drew, you ain't got to... You ain't going to be satisfied if I do not go over my second cup of water, are you?

1:21:02 Drew No, I got to make sure I hit the equipment here first. That's my goal.

1:21:07 Adam Maybe a little lightning round coming up, everybody.

1:21:09 Drew I know, I know. It's the cowbells out.

1:21:10 Caller They have a lot of luck. Oh, yeah.

1:21:17 Drew Me, me, me, me, me, me.

1:21:19 Caller Me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

1:21:22 Adam Buckle up, kiddies. Got a little lightning round coming your way.

1:21:25 Caller Mary?

1:21:26 Caller Hi.

1:21:27 Adam Hey, hey, you're 21.

1:21:28 Caller What's up?

1:21:29 Caller Yeah, the woman called before about Depakote. I had a bunch of friends that recommended the psychiatrist that I go to, and all of them were put on Depakote. I walked in there and he spent like a half an hour talking to me. He's like, oh, you're depressed.

1:21:45 Caller Here, take this.

1:21:46 Adam All right. It all worked out and everything's fine now, right? Right. Thank you very much. Can we go to the next call? Well, I think she made a point, right? She, uh, friends recommended a reputable therapist. They went in there, gave him some Depakote, and everything's good now, right? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:22:01 Caller Is that right?

1:22:03 Adam Mary?

1:22:03 Caller Hi.

1:22:04 Adam That's right, right?

1:22:04 Caller No, no, no, no.

1:22:06 Caller It started, it took the depression away for a while, but it replaced it with anger and violent tendencies.

1:22:12 Drew Yeah. So there are side effects of essentially every medication. So you came off that, right?

1:22:17 Caller Yes. I stopped taking the Depakote just because it was just getting so bad.

1:22:21 Drew And what did you switch to?

1:22:23 Caller Nothing yet because this man's entire office was just furnished by Depakote, and it's supposed to be for bipolar and not just depression.

1:22:33 Drew That's what it's for. It's a mood stabilizer.

1:22:35 Caller Because I'm just depressed. It's not bipolar.

1:22:38 Drew But there are certain kinds of bipolarities where you've not had a manic episode. So it's something that's a judgment call. Maybe you don't have bipolar. Maybe the diagnosis was wrong.

1:22:48 Caller And I've talked to a bunch of other people I know that go to him. And every single one of them was just put on depakote, walk in the door, walk out with it. And was he just prescribing it because they're giving him money?

1:23:02 Adam Yep. I don't know. Listen, can't you guys all not go to this guy then?

1:23:07 Caller Well, now that we've all gotten together and talked it out, we're definitely looking for other people.

1:23:12 Drew So get another valuation and see what you get. Alright.

1:23:16 Caller I haven't found another person yet.

1:23:18 Drew Well, in Phoenix there are no other psychiatrists other than this guy.

1:23:21 Adam Well, I worry that you're not going to be happy with the next one either. That's what a smart money is. Ed, do you have a doctor?

1:23:31 Caller Yes.

1:23:31 Adam Well, maybe you get a recommendation from him or her.

1:23:34 Caller That's what I'm going for, but is finding an antidepressant that works, is it just a guessing game? Like here, try this, see if it works?

1:23:40 Drew They all have about the same probability of effectiveness. It's really you're looking more at the side effects and the kind of quality of the depression that you have, whether you're vegetative or agitated, that kind of thing. Try to control the kinds of symptoms of the depression you're getting. But in terms of correcting the depression itself, yeah, it's pretty much trying to guess what the biology is you probably have based on the symptom complex you have.

1:24:07 Adam All right. Well, so give it a try. Drew, is there any call you want to get to before we get into the lightning round?

1:24:14 Drew Let me look here.

1:24:16 Adam Troubled past.

1:24:17 Drew Yeah.

1:24:17 Adam In fact, the girls today, huh? Real fast, like. Rick? Yeah. You've had a troubled past?

1:24:25 Oh, yeah.

1:24:26 Adam What was that troubled past?

1:24:28 I was abused pretty much from the age of three to the age of 11.

1:24:31 Drew Sexually?

1:24:32 Caller Yes, sexually and physically.

1:24:34 Adam Who did this?

1:24:35 Caller My step-grandfather raped me from the age of three to seven. And I had a...

1:24:40 Drew Perfectly normal.

1:24:41 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:24:43 Caller His son, my stepfather, raped me once when I was like eight. And from the age of three to 11, he literally beat the hell out of me.

1:24:53 Drew Alright.

1:24:54 Adam Alright.

1:24:56 Drew It's amazing you're not like a criminal now.

1:24:58 Caller I pretty much am.

1:24:59 Drew Okay.

1:25:00 Adam Alright.

1:25:00 Caller To an extent. I mean, I've settled down now. I'm 21. I've got other things on my mind. I can't go around and get myself put in jail. I feel as if I've sort of leveled off a little bit. And, but when I was 11, I got, I was real passive aggressive. I'd let, I'd just let everything sink in and I didn't say nothing about it until I'd blow. And I ended up blowing up, getting into a real bad fight and got locked up till I was 15.

1:25:29 Adam Well, listen, first thing's first. If you got to freak out and kill anybody, remember who did the damage.

1:25:37 Drew So, go get them.

1:25:38 Adam Kill grandpa, kill stepdad. That's number one.

1:25:42 Caller Oh, good.

1:25:43 Adam That's nice. That's the best piece of news I had all day. Oh, God, you're son of a bitch.

1:25:48 Caller Only problem is my little brother who is like a half brother. It's my stepdad's son. He's, they live in Florida. And my little brother is starting to find his father. And he started to hang out with his father. And he's trying to convince me that his father's changed. But I still have this little tendency inside of me where I, and I've even told my brother this, you know, Hey bro, I love you. But if I ever see your dad, I'm going to knock his ass out. And then I might think about forgiving him for all.

1:26:15 Adam Oh, what the S word. All right.

1:26:18 Caller Look, okay.

1:26:19 Adam Here's the deal. Rick, no one expects you to be normal after the hell you've been through. You're doing you're doing much better than you should be doing. And every day is going to be a little bit of work when it comes to relationships. Do not do not get into your past with the girls.

1:26:35 Drew No.

1:26:36 Adam At some point, you can start opening up to them. But don't don't get in not too fast with the all the information of the past. You don't have to be ashamed of it. It's just going to freak them a little bit.

1:26:47 Drew Don't get involved with somebody that's not terribly exciting and just kind of go easy.

1:26:51 Adam Fat, white, pasty and boring. We'll be back with some lightning round after this.

1:26:59 Caller Loveline, Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:28:17 Caller Let's check the time real fast.

1:28:19 Adam It's 1149 and 30 seconds.

1:28:22 Caller 10 minutes, 30 seconds, the wave is the top of the hour, straight up. Midnight, the wind's an hour, the time is about 7. All right, let's see.

1:28:32 Adam Let's check temps real fast. We're out of an Encino coming in 43. Carson checking in at 47. Panic, 51 degrees.

1:28:39 Caller El Cajon, 55.

1:28:40 Adam Pasadena, 61. Norwalk, 44 degrees. Santa Ana, 45. Clear Mountain, 47. Glendale area, and that would include the Glendale and Burbank area. 51 degrees Encino, 55.

1:28:50 Caller Chula Vista, 60.

1:28:51 Adam And Eagle Rock coming in at surprising 49 degrees.

1:28:54 Drew Ace, I hear the wind's coming in on the south-south west.

1:28:56 Adam South-south west, four and a half knots.

1:28:58 Drew Burbank airport.

1:28:58 Adam Burbank airport coming in about four knots from south-south west. Sunset tomorrow, or sunrise, pardon me, 6:37 a.m. And then sunset is 6:90 p.m. That's of course in the evening. Four or five, look out for slow and go. Also look out for brake lights on the 118. Mattress in number three line of the I-5 and a Jack Knight Bobcat on the 110. All right, so let's go forward. We'll check the time real fast.

1:29:22 Caller We'll be back with traffic.

1:29:24 Adam We'll do a surf report. We'll do a fishing report coming in too.

1:29:27 Caller All right, back down to the little liner.

1:29:30 Adam As I was phoning real fast, I was speaking with my dude.

1:29:32 Caller Jack? Yeah?

1:29:35 Adam I'm in the department of Dr. Drew.

1:29:38 Caller How can we do it tonight?

1:29:40 Adam 13 years old. Hey, Jack, let me check the time real fast. It is 11.50 and 58, 59, 60, 11.51, straight up nine minutes away at the top of the hour. Once we get to the top of the hour, that'll be 12 midnight. That'll be an hour away from 1 AM, and one hour in reverse order away from 11, which was the hour in the past before. Hi there, Jack, what are we gonna do about it? Can't see no checking in at 43, cars at 47, and panning 51. What are we gonna do about it there, Jack?

1:30:10 Caller Yeah, I'm going out with this one girl, right?

1:30:12 Caller Oh, yeah, yeah, baby.

1:30:17 Adam Yeah, baby. Yeah, all that awesome power stuff.

1:30:22 Caller Whoo-hoo!

1:30:23 Adam Yeah, going out with this girl. What's going on there, buddy?

1:30:25 Caller And then, like, I've been going out for a while, and so I'm talking to this other girl, right?

1:30:30 Caller No, yeah.

1:30:32 Drew Two-times.

1:30:32 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:30:34 Caller Two chicks in the same bed.

1:30:36 Caller Do it! Yeah. What's up there, buddy?

1:30:38 Caller And now, like, she kind of asked me out, and now I'm going out with her, too.

1:30:42 Caller Yeah, I was going to say, we got the, you got two, the juggler went to a girl, going out with her.

1:30:45 Drew Does your first one think she's your exclusive girlfriend? Have you had the talk with her yet?

1:30:50 Caller No, I haven't told her.

1:30:51 Drew No, no, no.

1:30:51 Adam Passed Nina Check in in at 61 Norwalk, 44 St. Anne, 45. Go ahead, Sloan Go on the 405 by the way, and look out for brake lights on the 118.

1:31:00 Drew Have you talked to the first girlfriend about her being your exclusive girlfriend?

1:31:04 Adam That was evidence? No.

1:31:05 Drew So you're just dating people, it's all right.

1:31:07 Adam Listen, Jack.

1:31:08 Drew It's good you're concerned about their feeling.

1:31:09 Adam Jack, buddy, buddy, I'm the master. Listen to me, Ace 101. Listen very carefully what I have to say, all right? Let me tell you something, I'll leave. You guys have it there.

1:31:21 Caller I think I'm done with it. But you got to do it, Jack. So you got to move as slow.

1:31:29 Adam And then you tell the second one, I'm going to have a little, I'm going to have a little, I'm going to have a little, I'm going to have a little, I'm going to have a little, I'm going to have a little, I'm going to have a little, I'm going to have a little, I'm going to have a little, I'm going to have a little, I'm going to have a little, I'm going to have a little, I saw the line too. Albert United, what's going on? That's not Ace Rockolla. Smack that line around 1153, seven inches away from the top of the hour. What's going on there, buddy?

1:31:56 Caller Yeah, I go to bed and I wake up, and my penis is up.

1:32:02 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm like, woo, I know what you're talking about, that's a morning wood, boy. That's a good morning, got that morning wood over there.

1:32:12 Drew Three things, the stretch on the bladder triggers the spinal reflex. There's also the congestion of a full bladder can add to it. And then the sleep cycling craze.

1:32:21 Caller But you've been dreaming about Britney Spears.

1:32:24 Drew There's a dream phase.

1:32:27 Adam Or in his case, maybe Charo.

1:32:31 Drew What time is it, Ace?

1:32:32 Caller I'll tell you what time it is.

1:32:33 Adam It's 1153 and 50 seconds. Six minutes and 10 seconds away from the top of the hour straight up, that's midnight, that's one hour away from one o'clock and then that's 12 hours away from 12 noon the next day and two hours away from two a.m. and an hour away in reverse order from 11 o'clock, which is the previous hour. And see, no checking in at 43. Carson coming in at 47, that's 53 degrees away from 100 degrees.

1:33:00 Caller Yeah, that was what I was about to start doing, Drew.

1:33:02 Adam They ought to do the math when they give the degrees out. How long till 100, you retard?

1:33:07 Drew We need to hear from the people that pay our bills.

1:33:09 Adam Oh, yeah, we got to pay some bills, we got to check on some good folks, but don't worry, even though it's almost 12 o'clock, we're going to be back with a ton of show.

1:33:16 Caller Ton of show right after this.

1:33:18 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me.

1:33:20 Caller So what's up?

1:33:20 Caller So I was like you and I used to think that these datelines were totally cheesy.

1:33:23 Caller Why can't I meet anybody?

1:33:24 Caller But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell?

1:33:26 Caller So I called the dateline and actually met a cool guy.

1:33:28 Caller I called the dateline and I hooked up with some cool people.

1:33:30 Caller Believe it or not, other normal people are out there looking too.

1:33:33 Drew 877-889-DATE.

1:33:36 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, we'll be right back.

1:34:12 Drew Well, Ace, it's February 13th. That's 15 days from the end of the month.

1:34:17 Caller That's right.

1:34:19 Adam That's right. Really, if they're going to do the clock math, they ought to do the calendar math and the temperature math.

1:34:26 Caller Okay.

1:34:27 Adam We will take a little 22-hour break.

1:34:31 Drew And wait a minute. Yeah.

1:34:34 Adam It's 22 hours to the next show. We'll then be back with Tomorrow Night Show. See how it all works? We're doing the MOLA Station show.

1:34:43 Drew We're having a policeman in here talk about forensic examinations.

1:34:46 Adam Where's the guy from?

1:34:47 Drew The guy we met in Torrance. Remember that Best Buy?

1:34:50 Adam He's not Burbank PD. Those guys hate me. Okay, good. So until next time, Adam Crowley for Dr. Drew saying, Mahala.

1:34:57 Caller Because I told you guys last time, y'all, I don't know if y'all is racial discriminatory or whatever it is.

1:35:03 Adam He doesn't like blacks.

1:35:05 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, February 12, 2002