Episode 1000754886798

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, coast to coast.

1:12 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-L-V-E-1-9-1.

1:20 Yeah.

1:21 Adam I've been waiting for tonight, buddy.

1:23 Drew Yeah, kick back.

1:24 Adam Yeah, relax. No guest, everybody. Just the love that the two hosts find between each other. Drew is already in a fully reclined position.

1:34 Drew Yeah, I'm ready.

1:35 Adam He's got his tootsies up on the console.

1:37 Drew Now, what was it we learned last night? You push out after evacuating?

1:41 Adam Before you receive? Accept some anal.

1:44 Drew Yeah.

1:45 Adam Yeah, that's one thing we learned last night. We learned a lot of stuff last night. And tonight, it's going to be sort of a... There's not going to be quite as much learning going on. Nicole?

1:58 Yeah?

1:58 Adam You're 19?

1:59 Caller Oh, I love you guys so much. You guys are both geniuses.

2:02 Adam Thank you.

2:03 Caller Okay, here's my problem.

2:05 Adam Not so smart that one of us couldn't get thrown off a daytime program though, I'll tell you that.

2:11 Caller Okay, my problem is that I know for sure that my boyfriend has herpes. We've been dating for almost a year now. We haven't had sex yet, but I just recently became really good friends with his ex-girlfriend and she told me all this. Huh?

2:25 Adam That's a disaster.

2:26 Drew For any guy.

2:27 Adam Yeah.

2:29 Caller Well, she told me all this stuff about him and everything. And I mean, I know for sure, because I've like jacked him off before. And, you know, I can, I don't know, I can tell there's like little bumps sometimes every once in a while.

2:38 Drew Well, you know, the good news, Nicole, herpes doesn't cause bumps.

2:42 Caller Well, then what's on, what is it?

2:44 Drew I don't know, but it's not herpes. It's scabs? Yeah. It can cause scabs. It can cause scabs.

2:49 Caller That's what I meant, like scabs, you know what I mean?

2:51 Drew Yeah, it can cause scabs, all right.

2:53 Caller So I can't get him to tell me.

2:55 Drew Well, how do you know this woman's telling you the truth?

2:57 Caller Well, because I've felt it before. Like, I don't know.

2:59 Drew Yeah, but the other things cause funny, if you listen, you're not a trained clinician. You don't know what, and now that you're not looking at anything, you just feel it with your hand.

3:06 Adam She jacked the guy off. She knows her own hand.

3:10 Drew So, Nicole, you don't know what you're feeling there?

3:12 Caller I'm not exactly positive, but I know-

3:15 Adam Well, how come you didn't know anything before his ex told you something?

3:19 Drew How do you know he doesn't have-

3:20 Caller I never did anything with him before that, but then it made me curious when she told me. So, that's when I started getting more sexual, you know, to get his-

3:27 Adam Okay, well, hold on.

3:28 Drew How do you know he didn't have psoriasis of his penis or something? There's all kinds of skin things you can get in your penis.

3:32 Adam Drew, you'd be a good penis attorney.

3:33 Caller I have no idea. The first thing I thought of was herpes. I tried to get him to get a checkup with me when I went last month, and-

3:39 Drew Well, what did the other girlfriend tell you?

3:41 Caller She told me that he has herpes, because she has herpes now.

3:46 Drew Well, maybe he has them on his mouth.

3:48 Caller Oh, God.

3:49 Adam Well, and not on his penis.

3:51 Caller Does that mean I should have it? Because I've kissed him in the past year, but I've never seen anything.

3:55 Drew No.

3:55 Adam Okay. Let me try to figure something out. You guys have been going out for a year. You've never had sex.

4:01 Caller Well, he's like Christian. He's kind of against it, and so I've kind of-

4:06 Adam I see. Well, why would God give him herpes?

4:08 Caller I don't know.

4:09 Drew He could do the math, honey.

4:11 Caller Huh?

4:11 Adam And he has not had sex with his ex, or he did?

4:15 Caller He has, and he's going through AA right now, and he's supposed to- he's trying not to do any of the things that he did when he was drunk and everything, so he's turned all Christian and all this crap with his mom.

4:26 Adam That's great. You get the diseased born again, who's repentant and trying to make up first pass ways. Meanwhile, you're 19 trying to have a good time. What's up with you? Are you Christian?

4:38 Caller No, no law.

4:39 Drew Do you have parents who are alcoholics or recovering people?

4:42 Caller No, no law.

4:43 Adam Are you a virgin?

4:44 Caller No.

4:45 Adam But in one year, do you want to have sex with him?

4:48 Caller Yeah, I do, but I'm nervous. I don't know what that is, and I don't want to get anything.

4:51 Adam Well, listen, you're going to have to have just a flat-out conversation with him.

4:56 Caller Well, that's...

4:57 Drew She's had many of them.

4:57 Caller That's kind of embarrassing for him, though, don't you think?

4:59 Adam Wait a minute, she's had many of them?

5:01 Drew I thought you said you've been really pressuring him to admit what you had heard from his girlfriend.

5:07 Caller Yeah, but if I flat-out... Wait, wait, if I flat-out tell him, that will be kind of embarrassing for him. Is there any way I can, like, get around it?

5:12 Adam No, it's going to be worse for him if you don't have sex with him.

5:16 Drew You've got to tell him you talked to his ex-girlfriend. Maybe she's a liar, maybe she's pissed at him, maybe she's trying to get back at him for something. You don't know. Give him an opportunity to come clean, be honest with him about what you know, what your concerns are, and let's see where he goes.

5:29 Caller Okay.

5:29 Drew All right. Wait.

5:31 Caller Okay. I'm really, really sorry for what I'm about to say, but I called in a few months ago and I did the story. I was the girl that did the story about the butthole size of a mason jar. Good time. I just want you to know there was not a guy backing me up, Adam.

5:45 Drew Oh, wait a minute. We may have to dissect this woman.

5:48 Adam Interesting.

5:49 Drew She's maybe a possessed or something, could be an alien.

5:51 Adam You did a bogus call on your own.

5:53 Caller No, my best friend, Jessie, thought of it, because she's been watching the show for like four years.

5:57 Drew I put her up to it. Where did she get the idea from?

5:59 Caller She just thought, you know, it would be funny to bring it back.

6:01 Drew Does she have a jack-off boyfriend?

6:03 Caller Huh?

6:03 Drew Does she have a boyfriend who's kind of a jack-off?

6:05 Caller No.

6:06 Adam Is Jessie a lesbian?

6:07 Caller No, Jessie's not a lesbian.

6:09 Adam A name like Jessie.

6:10 Caller Huh?

6:10 Adam That could be a lesbian.

6:12 Drew She's a lesbian.

6:12 Caller All right.

6:13 Drew Listen, hey, Nicole.

6:14 Adam Oh, listen, leave her alone.

6:15 Drew Listen, she's got an asthma. I want to ask you about that.

6:17 Adam Really?

6:18 Drew Nicole.

6:19 Caller Yeah?

6:19 Drew What's with the asthma?

6:21 Caller Oh, I have a cold right now.

6:22 Drew You have more than a cold. I mean, are you using inhalers?

6:25 Caller Oh, wait, hold on. My friend Jessie's here.

6:28 Drew Oh, Jessie's the culprit.

6:29 Adam I know, but Drew, I don't want to spend ten minutes talking. Okay.

6:33 Okay, it's backed up by me.

6:35 Adam Okay.

6:36 Drew But who put your mind up?

6:37 Adam Nobody.

6:38 No, I've been listening to the show for like so many years.

6:41 Drew I see, so you were taking the challenge.

6:44 Yeah.

6:46 Adam Who cares? I don't know if I'm tired or what, but I can't talk for five minutes to someone about nothing.

6:52 Drew You know, you can't talk to anybody about anything, and I had some touching and painful feelings to talk about tonight.

6:58 Adam No, you didn't.

6:59 Drew You completely dismissed them.

7:00 Adam Drew, you did a show. There was 14 people on it. You did it for a week. You're past that already, aren't you?

7:07 Drew It was intense. Really?

7:09 Adam Why was it intense? Drew was talking about getting fired this morning.

7:12 Drew What do you mean, fired? We just finished up.

7:14 Adam Whatever you call it.

7:15 Drew We're not going back.

7:17 Adam Yes. Men are from Mars. Chicks are from Venus. People were crying. It was an emotional time. For a lot of those people, they were on the set when it was hosted by What's-Her-Nose, right?

7:31 Drew Yeah. They were much happier when...

7:34 Adam You guys came in. What's-Her-Name? Who was that other one?

7:37 Drew Civil Shepherd.

7:38 Adam Civil Shepherd. Big pain in the ass.

7:39 Drew They started having fun. We had a good time. People came in very clear, but it was more of the five of us.

7:45 Adam Really?

7:45 Drew It was an intensive...

7:46 Adam You never saw anybody off that set once?

7:49 Drew I wasn't off that set much for the last six weeks.

7:52 Adam Tell me how many times... How many times you saw any of the other cast members off the set?

7:57 Drew Zero.

7:58 Adam Lunch? Dinner?

8:00 Drew But I was there five days a week. Weekends? Adam.

8:04 Adam Vacations?

8:05 Drew There weren't any.

8:05 Adam No. I know. That's what I'm saying. Don't you worry about me, brother. Don't worry about this.

8:10 Drew You're the only other person I have seen in three months.

8:13 Adam You don't worry about these.

8:14 Drew Don't you want me to cry and get upset if you and I break up?

8:17 Adam You pansy? Phil? No, because I'll be guilt ridden. Phil, you're 19. What's up?

8:26 Caller I noticed the last couple of times when I masturbated, there have been clumps when I came. Normal.

8:35 Drew Tapioca pudding.

8:36 Caller Yeah.

8:36 Drew Normal.

8:37 Adam That's fine.

8:38 Caller Okay. Because I've just been thinking, I've been taking Vicodin. My doctor prescribed it to me.

8:43 Drew For what?

8:44 Caller I pulled, I tore some muscles in my ribs.

8:47 Drew How much you take him?

8:51 Caller Let me see here. I've got it right here.

8:53 Adam What were you doing? Snowboarding?

8:56 Caller No. I was at work.

8:58 Let's see.

8:59 Adam Oh, I see. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Now I know exactly what happened.

9:03 Drew How often are you taking him?

9:04 Caller I'm taking it just once before I go to bed.

9:08 Drew That's it.

9:08 Caller All right.

9:09 Adam You're fine.

9:09 Drew That's probably not doing this.

9:11 Adam Yeah. I broke some ribs at work too. We all do it. Yeah.

9:15 Drew Well, you do your fill in a window.

9:17 Adam What kind of work do you do, Phil?

9:19 Caller I'm a mechanic.

9:20 Adam I see. And does something land on you or something?

9:23 Caller No. I was lifting something up over my head at a weird angle.

9:26 Adam All right there, buddy. What do you work on?

9:29 Caller I work on big trucks.

9:31 Adam Nice. All right. Good times there, buddy.

9:34 Caller Good times.

9:35 Adam Take care of yourself.

9:36 Drew That's a man's job. He'll throw like a pansy cry with a bunch of girls.

9:39 Adam Yeah, true.

9:40 Drew Because a TV show goes off the air.

9:42 Adam Drew, you're really upset. I mean, I can be nice, but I'll tell you one of the things I like about you, Drew.

9:48 Drew Yeah. Think hard. Wait, okay.

9:52 Adam Now, I'll tell you what I cherish most about our relationship. I have difficulty acting like a human being in front of other human beings.

9:59 Drew Yes, I've noticed that.

10:00 Adam Somebody tells me, I'm going through a tough time. I lost my grandfather. The first thing that pops in my head, oh, Christ. Do I got to hear this? Now, I don't even... Now, I'm not going to say it out loud, but I always feel that way.

10:15 Drew Sometimes. Let's be honest. Sometimes we do.

10:16 Adam Once in a while, it slips out. And it's not because I don't like people.

10:20 Drew Well...

10:21 Adam I didn't say I liked them.

10:22 Drew Okay. All right.

10:23 Adam It's just I never know what to do, how to react.

10:26 Drew And you're not interested in this space.

10:27 Adam I'm not interested and I feel stupid.

10:29 Drew Yeah.

10:29 Adam And the worst situation for me ever is when somebody comes to me sort of in a grieving mode.

10:34 Drew Oh, there I am.

10:36 Adam Right. Now, here's what I like about you, Drew. I never have to coddle you at all. I can just go, oh, quiet down or who cares? And I know you're uncomfortable with that, too.

10:47 Drew With what? With coddling people?

10:48 Adam Just any form of attention.

10:51 Drew Yeah.

10:51 Adam Drew, like, you know, Drew's great because Christmas, Easter, birthdays roll around, we don't get at each other anything, no gifts, right?

11:00 Drew And that's what we cherish most about each other.

11:01 Adam And we don't think about it.

11:02 Drew We thank each other for it.

11:03 Adam Oh, I don't have to think about Drew in it.

11:05 Drew God bless him.

11:05 Adam God damn present I got to get him.

11:06 Drew I got it too. And on the other hand.

11:09 Adam And we got to get stuff. She passes out. But that's fine. It's done out of love. The point is, is, you know, when you start telling me a story and wanting some sympathy, that's when it makes me realize.

11:22 Drew You're right. We should be talking about you and not me.

11:23 Adam How much I miss you. No, we don't have to talk about me. Let's just not talk about you.

11:28 Drew That's the point because it's important to you.

11:30 Adam Right.

11:30 Drew All right.

11:31 Adam Randolph.

11:32 Hey.

11:33 Adam Hey, you're 30. What's up?

11:34 Caller I'm a chronic gambler and I work at a racetrack.

11:38 Drew Good planning.

11:39 Caller Yeah. Hey, I punch out tickets for other people. I literally handle the money that the track takes in and the temptation is there. Oh, I get numbers all day long. Everybody, dollar track to box, one, four, five, dollar track to box, one, four, five. And I keep punching these tickets out and I think, yeah, yeah, one, four, five. And then I, something tells me that the one, four, five. And then I just watch the seven, a 50 to one long shot come ahead of everybody. I'm like, okay, I just made a $20 contribution to the state of Kentucky.

12:13 Adam All right. Cut. Hold on a second. Randolph.

12:16 Caller Yeah.

12:17 Adam I want to try that scene again. This time, now remember Randolph is a guy who works at the track and he's got a gambling problem, but he's a likable guy. Let's try it again this time. Take a breath and pace it down just a little bit. And let's have fun with it.

12:32 Drew A little angered, a little angered too. He's lost that money after all.

12:35 Adam Take it from him, a gambler works at the track. And action.

12:40 Caller I'm frustrated. I hate losing.

12:45 Adam Then it really did seem like he was kind of reading something from a play, didn't it?

12:50 Drew Oh yeah. 145, 145, definitely 145.

12:54 Adam You're losing money, you're addicted to gambling, you're addicted to anything else?

12:59 Caller Well I enjoy the occasional joint every now and then.

13:03 Drew Had you been addicted to anything else?

13:06 Caller Benadryls.

13:08 Drew Anything else?

13:10 Caller That's about it.

13:11 Drew You sound like somebody who has some real obsessive compulsive qualities.

13:14 Caller Oh yeah.

13:15 Drew Do you do any other...

13:16 Caller I'm definitely obsessive compulsive.

13:17 Drew Do you do other rituals? Do you think of things over and over again?

13:20 Caller Yep. The idea is that I get into a certain pattern. I just know what people are going to bet and I know how they're going to bet it and I just punch their tickets automatically.

13:30 Drew Do you ever hear voices, anything like that?

13:32 Caller Sometimes.

13:33 Drew Yeah.

13:33 Caller Well, sometimes they tell me, you know, just settle down.

13:37 Drew Yeah, I see. This is a bigger problem here than the usual.

13:40 Adam Oh. Randolph, you ever talk to a psychiatrist?

13:44 Caller I've been trying to see one.

13:46 Drew That would be a good plan because I think some of that compulsion could be settled down with adjusting your biology a little bit.

13:52 Adam What are they paying you over at the track?

13:54 Caller Well, I got about $368 for one week's work.

13:57 Adam I'll double it. No.

14:00 Caller Yeah, I got a great idea for a main show skit for you.

14:02 Adam No.

14:03 Caller You and Jimmy drive through bookies.

14:07 Cars pull up to your window.

14:09 Drew You are obsessed.

14:09 Adam Right. Yeah. I'm not sure how to present it though. Randolph, talk to your... Oh, you put him on hold. I have to close my eyes. I didn't see that.

14:19 Drew He needs a psychiatrist. This is something much, much more serious than the usual.

14:24 Adam Let me tell you-

14:25 Drew Not that the gambling addictions are not, but this is a more global psychiatric problem. Here he's hearing voices. He's severely obsessive-compulsive. That is sort of schizoaffective. You're insane. Something like that going on.

14:34 Adam Let me tell everybody about gamblers, chronic gamblers. I had a chance to head on down to the Hollywood Park Casino last week, middle of the week, about four in the afternoon on a Wednesday.

14:48 Drew Good times.

14:49 Adam It is a pretty surly crowd that runs around in that place. Lots of dudes, lots of dicey, dicey, dicey dudes. Guys with their own walk and their own smell. Everyone has a half a cigar in their mouth and a raising form hanging out of their back pocket, and it's that dude. I mean, I swear to Christ, I looked around that place, I thought, this is a good place for a sting operation. I could round these guys up. I know at least three quarters of them are delinquent dads. Oh, yeah. They all owe back pay on child support, and they're out gambling. And meanwhile, this son is up. I mean, it's three, four in the afternoon.

15:27 Drew It's time to work.

15:27 Adam It's the middle of the week. These guys are hanging around.

15:31 Drew Are they drunk? Are they drinking beer?

15:32 Adam I mean, you guys, there's a little bit of that going on, but it's not a vacation. They're trying to make money, and they're not screwing around that much. That's the scary part about it. I mean, you guys who go to Vegas, and you go to the Hard Rock, and you go on a Saturday night, that's something else. That's different. Go see real gambling. Go down to the track. Go down to the dog track. Go down in the middle of the week. Go down about two in the afternoon. See who's hanging out. You won't find a woman in the entire place, by the way. Women apparently don't gamble.

16:05 Drew And that's usually one per like 800.

16:08 Adam Maybe one lesbian per 800 guys.

16:10 Drew But they're usually some freaked out talking to herself without wigged hair.

16:14 Adam There's no gay men either. They're super straight guys. They all look like Jack Klugman.

16:19 Drew Gay men are way too smart for that, don't you think?

16:22 Adam Yeah. They're not going to throw their money away. They're busy investing it in real estate and laughing all the way to the bank. Brandi? Hi. But it's that real fake kind of laugh, you know? Something ho ho ho. That high pitch one. What is? Yeah. When they laugh to the bank. Brandi?

16:40 Yeah.

16:41 Adam You're 15. What's up?

16:42 Caller Okay, this is going to sound kind of weird, but I need to ask it. My best friend just recently went to the doctor and she had this thing that she thought she got from having dry sex with her boyfriend, but it turned out that it's herpes. And I was wondering, we like sleep together a lot and we take baths together and stuff. And we have like E-Parties where we all get naked and rub each other. And I was wondering if I could catch that way.

17:05 Drew Slow down here. E-Parties?

17:07 Caller Ecstasy.

17:08 Adam You don't know what E is, buddy?

17:10 Drew Right, it's on that thing. And...

17:13 Adam You all get naked and rub each other? Are there guys in this?

17:16 Caller There's a couple, yes.

17:17 Drew Oh!

17:18 Adam What a kill those guys. How many girls?

17:21 Caller There's like about four or five girls and like two guys.

17:24 Adam No!

17:25 Drew And everyone's 15?

17:27 Caller No. Everyone else is older. It's just me and her that's 15.

17:31 Drew And she's like...

17:33 Adam How old is everyone else?

17:35 Caller They're anywhere from 19 to 25.

17:38 Adam And everyone's totally naked?

17:40 Caller Totally naked.

17:41 Adam Is there any sex going on?

17:43 Caller Not usually because it's kind of hard to do it while you're on E, but sometimes.

17:49 Adam And everyone just in the same room getting naked?

17:52 Caller Well, it's like an apartment and we all just kind of run around.

17:56 Adam Naked?

17:56 Caller Yeah.

17:57 Drew You're not concerned about the ecstasy, hurting your brain?

18:00 Caller No, not really.

18:01 Drew How come?

18:03 Caller I don't do it that often. It's just like a once in a while thing.

18:06 Drew You know, it takes a while. How many times have you done it?

18:08 Adam How about one of these 25 year olds with a boner hurting your brain, probably trying to penetrate your ear?

18:14 Caller Right.

18:14 Drew Are you getting an STD? Everybody wearing condoms?

18:18 Caller Well, we're not really having sex, you know.

18:21 Adam You know what? There's something even better about that, Drew. Do you know what I mean? It's like some kind of herbal essence commercial gone bad, you know? It's a bunch of naked people. You know, like an R-rated movie that would come on late night on Showtime?

18:36 Drew Yeah.

18:38 Adam But 15, Brandy.

18:39 Caller Yeah.

18:40 Adam Christ, where are your parents?

18:42 Caller At home.

18:43 Adam I see. And what do they do to you?

18:45 Caller My parents?

18:46 Adam Yeah.

18:47 Caller I live with my dad and my step mom. And they're good parents.

18:49 Adam Where's mama?

18:50 Drew They sound pretty checked out.

18:52 Caller My mom is, lives in Santa Rosa.

18:55 Drew Why are you not with her?

18:57 Caller We don't get along that well. I took off when I was about 10.

19:01 Caller Yeah.

19:02 Adam You know, you're going to get into trouble hanging around with these older guys who are on drugs.

19:08 Caller Yeah, I guess.

19:10 Why is that funny?

19:11 Caller I mean, they're nice guys.

19:14 Adam I believe they're, no, I don't actually. No, I believe they're not arsonists or murderers.

19:19 Drew They're just down the ladder a little bit.

19:21 Adam Show me a guy who's 23 and he's got a 15-year-old running around naked in the apartment. I'm going to show you a bad guy.

19:28 Drew Yeah.

19:29 Caller Yeah.

19:29 Drew Yeah, it's a bad guy. When you're 23, you're going to freak out when you realize your peer is at 23 and we're behaving like this.

19:35 Caller Yeah, I can see that.

19:37 Adam Yeah. Whose apartment is it?

19:39 Caller Um, it's this guy's apartment.

19:42 Yeah.

19:43 Adam Is he orchestrating the whole thing?

19:45 Caller Um, not really. It's just, like, they, I guess they used to do it and we met them at a rave, an after party at a rave and then we all got involved.

19:56 All right.

19:57 Adam Do you like anybody, any of the guys, any of the girls?

19:59 Caller Um, we're, me and the guy and his fiancee, sometimes mess around, but.

20:06 Caller Oh.

20:07 Drew Fiancee?

20:08 Caller Yeah.

20:09 Adam How old's the guy?

20:10 Caller Twenty-five.

20:11 Adam Oh. Yeah. What an idiot. This guy's a, this guy's like a world-class jackass. You know, I mean, I'm sure the guy holds the job down and I'm sure he's not a dangerous guy, but he's just a jackass. And you don't understand that because you're 15 and you think you're all grown up, but believe me, especially as a woman, when you're 25, you picture a 15-year-old and you'll go nuts.

20:33 Drew You'll want to kill all 25-year-old guys.

20:35 Adam Right.

20:35 Caller It's kind of gross, I know, I thought about it, but.

20:38 Adam Okay.

20:38 Drew How old's his fiance?

20:40 Caller 19.

20:41 Adam And you guys have like little threesomes?

20:43 Caller Yeah.

20:44 Drew And this is the one you're afraid you got an STD from?

20:46 Caller No, my best friend.

20:47 Drew Best friend.

20:47 Caller No, I'm not afraid I got it, I was just wondering if I could get it.

20:51 Drew If you're in these rubbing parties, of course you can.

20:54 Okay.

20:55 Caller Okay.

20:56 Drew All kinds of ways to get it.

20:57 Adam I'm thinking of...

20:58 Drew If it's active.

20:59 Adam I might throw one of these rubbing parties myself.

21:02 Caller They're really fun.

21:03 Drew No, they can. Is there a jargon for them? What are they called?

21:06 Adam A what?

21:06 Drew Is there sort of a name for them?

21:08 Caller E-Parties.

21:09 Drew E-Parties.

21:10 Adam All right. Hey Brandy?

21:11 Caller Yeah.

21:12 Adam Okay, can you find Jesus Christ?

21:14 Caller I don't know about that, but...

21:16 Adam Well, find somebody, would you?

21:17 Caller Yeah, I will.

21:18 Drew Muhammad.

21:18 Adam Stop rubbing around with 25 year olds.

21:21 Caller Okay.

21:21 Adam You gotta screw yourself up.

21:23 Caller All right.

21:23 Adam All right, baby.

21:24 Caller All right.

21:24 Adam Take care.

21:24 Drew All right. Adam, good times.

21:26 Adam Yeah, good times. Hey, listen, I hate to admit it, and sometimes, I don't know, I don't even know if this microphone is on or not, the way I talk, but there's something a little tantalizing about the rubbing party. I sit here and I hear about sex all night. We just talk about yanking off and horn-hauling and pearl necklaces, and it's really a filthy, filthy, disgusting show. I mean, I swear to Christ, I'm this close to taking a shower sometimes. This close. I'm not exaggerating, Drew. I almost took one last week. I felt so filthy from this show. I really did.

22:01 Drew Yeah, that's wild.

22:02 Adam But when I hear about the young girls getting naked and sort of rolling around.

22:05 Drew Frolicking.

22:06 Adam Frolicking? I think, hey, sign me up for that. Then I could go for it. It doesn't sound like it takes a lot of energy either.

22:15 Drew Why are you lying? Has somebody rub you?

22:17 Adam Yeah, just lie there and rub. I'll rub the TV remote. You guys rub on me. That's my plan.

22:24 Drew It's bizarre.

22:25 Adam All right, I'm going to see if I can put together one of these rubbing parties.

22:27 Drew Enjoy.

22:28 Adam You want in?

22:28 Drew No, thank you.

22:29 Adam Anderson, you're in though, right? Yeah, Anderson.

22:31 Drew He is in.

22:31 Adam All right. If I break some wind for Anderson while we're rubbing on each other. All right, we'll be back. Hey, that's my riff. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. And let's get back on the phones. Oh, yeah.

23:00 Drew Well, this may be a chance to talk about your bed invention.

23:03 Adam The mattress, the orifice inside the mattress.

23:06 Drew The hole of plenty, yeah.

23:07 Adam I really, hey, if anyone designs mattresses and they're listening, a nice hole in the mattress.

23:13 Drew The mattress.

23:14 Adam All the way through, it's as if you put a coffee can, about the size of a coffee can in there, sleep with your, if you're like me and you sleep on your stomach, you get an erection in the middle of the night, that goes in the hole. If you got a couple of hookers over and one drop too much acid, it's got to vomit, right into the hole, use your imagination.

23:34 Drew It's got like a mattress hole.

23:35 Adam Yeah. If you're like me and you got to take a whiz in the middle of the night, you're too tired to get up, right in the hole, you're already in the hole. And I think it would be just as comfortable, Drew, I really do. Elizabeth?

23:49 Best Of Yeah?

23:49 Adam Oh, what's up, Perky?

23:51 Best Of Hi. Hey. Let me just start out by saying I've always had a 4.0 or higher, and me and my boyfriend were watching this porno one night about a dominatrix and her boyfriend or whatever, I don't know. And he was whipping her, I mean, she was whipping him, and we got really kinky, and like, I decided that I wanted to try it, and so we started doing it, and I got really into it, and I've never had an orgasm before, but I finally had one this time. And now whenever I go to school, all I can think about is like whipping, like, the boys at school, and like hitting them, and I can't concentrate at all, and my GPA is falling big time.

24:25 Adam Well, how long ago did this happen?

24:28 Best Of Um, well, when it started.

24:31 Adam That's right.

24:32 Yeah.

24:32 Best Of Like two months.

24:34 Adam Two months?

24:35 Yeah.

24:35 Adam And you're with a different guy now?

24:37 Best Of No, I'm with the same guy.

24:38 Adam Well, you just think about whipping anyone you see.

24:41 Best Of Right.

24:41 Adam Now, you whipped your boyfriend.

24:43 Best Of Yes.

24:44 Adam What did you whip him with?

24:45 Best Of Just my hand.

24:47 Drew Why don't you guys do that anymore?

24:49 Best Of No, we still do.

24:49 Adam Hold on, can you whip someone with your hand, or can you just slap them?

24:52 Best Of Well, I guess you would call it slapping.

24:54 Adam I see.

24:55 Best Of Sorry.

24:55 Adam And you had an orgasm while you were beating on him?

24:59 Best Of Right.

24:59 Drew And you still are able to do that?

25:01 Best Of Yes.

25:01 Adam What was he doing to you while you were beating on him?

25:04 Best Of Nothing. We were just having sex.

25:06 Adam Well, that's sex. Yeah, sex counts, right?

25:08 Right.

25:09 Adam So he was on top of you?

25:12 Best Of No, I was on top of him.

25:13 Adam And you were smacking him?

25:14 Yeah.

25:15 Adam Across the face?

25:16 Yes.

25:17 Adam And that gave you the orgasm?

25:18 Yes.

25:19 Adam Interesting. Let's say you're a straight A student. Yes. Over 4.0. Yes. To me, that's 110%. But anyway, where you go? A four-year college?

25:32 Best Of Oh, I go to Cal Poly, yeah.

25:34 Adam Oh, Cal Poly which?

25:36 Best Of Cal Poly San Luis Obispo.

25:38 Adam Good times. Yeah, Cal Poly is slow. All right. And beautiful country over there.

25:44 Best Of Yeah.

25:44 Adam And now your grades are falling because you can't focus in the class.

25:47 Best Of Right.

25:48 Adam And do you have this kind of sex with your boyfriend every time now?

25:52 Best Of Yeah.

25:52 Drew Do you have other kinds?

25:53 Adam Have you bought things to, have you accessorized your love life? You bought yourself a leather mask or cat-o-nine tails or anything like that?

26:01 Drew The only thing we have is handcuffs.

26:03 Best Of Sorry, the only thing we have is handcuffs.

26:06 Drew Let's see. Are you having any other intrusive thoughts or compulsive rituals, anything like that?

26:12 Best Of No.

26:13 Drew Nothing like that. You've never had problems like that?

26:15 Best Of Nope.

26:15 Drew Is your mood okay otherwise? Yeah. And are you doing drugs or alcohol or anything of that nature?

26:21 Best Of I drink occasionally, but...

26:23 Drew Not a lot. And did somebody smack you around when you were a kid? No. You were never struck as a child? Nope.

26:29 Adam You watched a lot of Zorro movies?

26:32 Drew No.

26:33 Adam No. All right.

26:34 Drew You were never struck.

26:35 Adam It's interesting to have something triggered that you don't feel like was created.

26:41 Drew And there's nothing else going on? No more global process?

26:44 Adam Your parents good?

26:45 Drew Yeah.

26:46 Adam Yeah? No violence? No... No... .fantasy of violence when you were younger? You didn't strangle your cat or put an M80 on a potato bug or anything?

26:56 Drew Are you into your boyfriend? Are you into your boyfriend?

26:59 Best Of Am I into him?

26:59 Drew Yeah. Yeah. But you're thinking about having sex with other guys?

27:03 Best Of No. I'm just thinking about hitting him.

27:05 Drew Hitting other guys?

27:06 Best Of Yes.

27:07 Adam How do you think? Is this only in a sexual way?

27:10 Yeah.

27:11 Adam I mean, what do you think? How do you think you'd respond to a little kickboxing or taekwondo or something?

27:17 I don't know.

27:18 Drew Or would that help you release some of this?

27:21 I doubt it.

27:22 Adam And what if you woke up every morning before you went to school, beat the crap out of a heavy bag for a couple of rounds and then went to school? Do you think that might blow off some steam?

27:34 Best Of There's no orgasm in hittin a thing.

27:37 Adam No kidding. And so it's all sexual. You don't feel any anger when you're hitting him?

27:43 Best Of Nope.

27:43 Drew Is this all about the orgasm? Because this is the only way you've been able to get an orgasm?

27:47 Best Of Yeah, that seems to be the only way possible.

27:50 Drew Have you tried a vibrator or something else? I mean, maybe just we can uncouple the association here.

27:55 Best Of I have tried a vibrator, yeah, and it just does not work.

27:58 Adam She beat the crap out of it. She stabbed her boyfriend with it.

28:00 Drew And why don't we get a certain vibe here?

28:03 Adam Ah, yeah, just her voice, you mean?

28:06 Best Of What's wrong with my voice?

28:08 Caller I don't know.

28:10 Adam I don't know, there's something. I'm trying to think. Good student, loving parents? What do they do, lawyers?

28:17 Best Of No, my dad's an electrician.

28:18 Adam Aha!

28:19 Best Of Works for my dad.

28:21 Adam What?

28:21 Drew Works for your dad?

28:22 Best Of Yep.

28:22 Drew Who does?

28:23 Adam Your mom?

28:23 Best Of Well, they both own the same company.

28:25 I see.

28:26 Adam Huh, brothers, sisters?

28:28 Best Of No.

28:29 Drew And no traumatic history?

28:30 Caller Nope.

28:31 Adam Hmm, never saw anyone die?

28:33 Caller Nope.

28:34 Adam Never kill the man just to watch him die?

28:36 Best Of No.

28:36 Adam Oh, you should try that. That's a good chance.

28:38 Best Of Really?

28:38 Adam Yeah.

28:39 All right.

28:40 Adam Well, I don't know what the answer is here.

28:42 Drew Maybe nothing.

28:43 Adam Maybe this is just something you enjoy.

28:45 Best Of There's nothing I can do to, like, break my...

28:48 Drew Well...

28:49 Adam How badly do you want to stop?

28:51 Best Of Well, I just want to stop thinking about it at school.

28:53 Drew Well, see, I think... I'm suspicious this may be some other sort of either mood disturbance or obsessive-compulsive problem. And have yourself evaluated. If you really cannot concentrate, it's bothersome. It makes me wonder if there's some hidden medical problem going on here that's affecting her concentration.

29:14 Adam Like some thyroid problem?

29:15 Drew Yeah, precisely. Yeah, exactly. And that she sort of associates it with these events, but maybe something else going on. Or is there something psychiatrically going on here that could be treated?

29:25 Adam Aaron? Aaron?

29:27 Yeah?

29:28 Adam You're 17? What's up?

29:30 Caller Hey, I got a question for you. Uh-huh.

29:33 Caller Actually about too.

29:35 Caller I noticed like when I first started masturbating, I got like these white bumps. But they're not like sores, they're just like these bumps.

29:43 Drew I don't know what they are. They're the pearly penile papules.

29:46 Caller Pardon me?

29:47 Drew Pearly penile papules.

29:49 Yeah.

29:49 Drew That's what they are.

29:50 Caller Okay.

29:50 Where'd you get them?

29:51 Drew And they're normal.

29:52 Caller I have no idea.

29:53 Drew Kmart.

29:54 Adam I mean, on your penis?

29:55 Caller Yeah.

29:56 Adam Let's see. On the shaft or on the base or where?

29:59 On the shaft.

30:00 Adam Nice. Yeah.

30:02 Caller Is that like anything wrong?

30:04 Drew No, they are normal. And around what time do you start? How will we start masturbating?

30:09 Caller I started when I was 14, 16.

30:11 Drew It's around the time you hit puberty, usually the papules come around.

30:13 Caller So I think they can.

30:15 Caller I just noticed them.

30:16 Adam Yeah. You're a virgin?

30:18 Caller Yeah.

30:18 Adam Yeah. I got that. I could hear it in his voice.

30:22 All right.

30:22 Adam You're all right.

30:23 All right.

30:24 Adam All right there, buddy.

30:25 All right.

30:25 Caller And I got another question. Yeah.

30:27 Adam What are you good at? How often do you masturbate?

30:30 Caller Twice daily.

30:31 Adam Nice.

30:32 Drew Your other question?

30:34 Caller Yeah. Like ever since I've been little, I get canker sores in my mouth. Is it possible that I can like pass it on to a girl?

30:40 Drew Possible. Yes. Possible.

30:43 Adam How often do you get them?

30:47 Caller I don't know. It's kind of hard to tell. They come and go. My like my doctor and dentist told me this from too much like citric acid. Like I drink a lot of orange juice.

30:56 Drew Well it irritates it and the triggers the virus, but it may or may not be transmissible.

31:00 Adam You can drink less orange juice.

31:03 Drew And then if you're not having an outbreak, you probably would not be transmissible, not be infectious.

31:08 Adam Josh?

31:08 Caller Yeah?

31:09 Adam You're 16?

31:10 Drew Yep.

31:10 Adam What's up?

31:11 Caller Well a while ago I called and I said that my semen tasted funny for my girlfriend when she gave me oral sex.

31:19 Adam Now she complained about that, right? Yeah. Right.

31:23 Caller But now like, because I had a cold back then and I was taking antibiotics. They got off that. Apparently she said it tastes more decent now.

31:32 Drew Off the antibiotics?

31:33 Caller Yeah. And I've been drinking like a lot more like liquids and not like sodas, but like juices and crap like that. And she says it's been getting more decent.

31:42 Adam But you know, this is something we've been debating and oftentimes arguing against. But the consensus seems to be that lack of drugs, antibiotics...

31:52 Drew We've said medication could cause a change.

31:54 Adam Yes, we have talked about that. Apparently a cleaner living, a cleaner penis is a better penis. So, man, maybe there's something to it. But it seems so marginal to me.

32:07 Drew Listen, it's more that we're talking about people that have something abnormal going on, get an abnormal taste. The range of normal is bad and bad.

32:19 Adam Well, for semen?

32:20 Drew Yeah.

32:21 Adam Yeah, I mean, it goes... It's bad and then projectile vomiting.

32:26 Drew Well, the projectile vomiting is usually... They're on medication, there's something... Infection, something going on from a disease standpoint or disease process or abnormal process.

32:35 Adam Yeah.

32:35 Drew And just bad is normal.

32:37 Adam Yeah.

32:37 Drew And eating marshmallows makes it stay bad.

32:40 Adam Yeah. I never got any semen-related complaints personally, but I never ask either. That's... I don't want to go there. I don't want to give anyone the opportunity to go, you know, I'm glad you brought that up because as a matter of fact, yeah, there's something going on. Your spunky is funky. All right, Josh, good times, buddy, huh? Okay. Yeah, good times.

33:01 Drew Sounds like a Beastie Boys song.

33:04 Adam Your spunky is funky. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll talk to David. David is a ripe old 19 years old wants to get a circumcision. David?

33:15 Caller Yeah.

33:15 Adam Yeah. That's what you want?

33:17 Caller Yeah.

33:17 Adam All right. Hold on a second.

33:19 Caller All righty.

33:20 Adam Don't try anything on your own until we talk to you, all right?

33:22 Caller All right.

33:23 Adam All right. This is Loveline. And we'll be right back. Yeah, yeah. The Love Line, that's Adam, that's Brew over there. Tell you what we got going on tonight. We got me, we got Drew, and we got, we got me.

33:48 Drew We got you.

33:49 Adam We got me.

33:49 Drew Because I'm not really here as far as you're concerned.

33:51 Adam Me and we have part of Drew here. No, I'm all here. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

33:55 Drew No, no, no. I'm not here. You just don't realize it. Because I actually would have got a lot better if you actually connected with my pain.

33:59 Adam I hurt Drew's feelings at the top of the show when he told me he had a sort of emotional and moving day today when him and his castmates from Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus Show broke up. They did their very last show. He said it was very touching. There were tears shed on that stage, right? Lots of tears and I didn't empathize with him. I was going to say enough, but that wouldn't be fair at all.

34:25 Drew Thank you, thank you.

34:26 Adam I'm too tired for sympathy. I really am.

34:28 Drew Yeah, Dick Weed, you jerk. You really, really hurt me. You can't come and go like that and expect it just to be. What the hell was I talking about?

34:38 Adam That was, Anderson wired me and we got into an argument in a limo after you had a few drinks after doing a college gig. I think that's when we were trying to get in our own place.

34:51 Drew Together?

34:52 Adam Oh, yeah. We're going to get that condo bite off that gay friend of yours.

34:56 Caller You said something like this?

34:57 Adam The world is your oyster, because that's all the world is. That was my response to you calling me a dick weed. Hey, Dr. Drew, everybody. And I feel your pain, Drew. I really do. I really sympathize. Come on, buddy. David, you're 19. What's up?

35:16 Caller Well, I was wondering, I want to get a circumcision.

35:20 Adam Oh, yeah, that's right.

35:23 Caller If it's possible or...

35:25 Drew Yes, you can see urologists and they will do it. But what's your reason for wanting to do it?

35:29 Caller Because I've been reading the Bible, and I read in the Bible.

35:34 Drew That what?

35:35 Caller That God made it come in with Noah, and you're supposed to do it.

35:39 Drew With Noah?

35:41 Caller Yeah.

35:42 Drew Really?

35:43 Caller Yeah.

35:44 Drew Noah is where circumcision got going?

35:46 Caller Yeah.

35:47 Adam He put two pre-peuses on the ark.

35:50 Drew What happened to Abraham?

35:52 Caller Or one of the two, I don't know.

35:53 Drew Oh, yeah, just whoever.

35:55 Adam Yeah, you're really studying that Bible, David.

35:57 Drew It's a good thing you wanted to lead your life by the very letter of the word of the Bible. It's good, since you have it so well understood, so well at hand.

36:06 Adam What else did you figure? Was there a section in there where they told you to cut your foot off too?

36:12 Caller No.

36:13 Drew How about the part where you give animal sacrifices and burn it and...

36:17 Caller Huh?

36:18 Adam Yeah. Hey, David.

36:19 Caller Yeah.

36:20 Adam I was going to be all right with you getting the circumcision until I heard about you getting it from the Bible and screwing that up. Okay. Now, I'm labeling you a retard and I'm saying you should not do this.

36:31 Caller No?

36:31 Adam There's something wrong with you.

36:33 There's something wrong with me.

36:34 Drew Most men in this world are not circumcised. And while there are certain advantages to it, if you're not circumcised, you're 19, the only compelling reason to do it is if you have some medical problems, like a narrowing of the foreskin, you can't get the head of the penis out, or irritation, or recurrent infections, that kind of thing. There's some people who believe that it might reduce a small risk of penile cancer. And there's some people that just have a cosmetic issue with it. But for the most part, it's a non-issue.

37:02 Adam Why are you going so wacky with the Bible at 19?

37:05 Caller Well, I just started reading it.

37:08 Adam What are you doing, time?

37:09 Caller No.

37:11 Adam What makes you start reading the Bible at 19? Something.

37:14 Caller Just because I wanted to.

37:15 Drew But you're reading it as literature?

37:18 Caller Just like one or two pages a night.

37:20 Drew As literature? Yeah.

37:23 Adam No girlfriend?

37:24 Caller Yeah, I have a girlfriend.

37:26 Adam How's she doing?

37:27 Caller Good.

37:27 Adam All right. You working?

37:29 Caller Yeah, I got two jobs.

37:31 Adam Where are you working?

37:33 Caller I work for, I'm a mechanic on big trucks during the weekend, on the weekend.

37:39 Adam A lot of big truck mechanics are calling me today. Do you work on a lot of diesel engines?

37:44 Yeah.

37:46 Adam What's the displacement on most of those engines?

37:48 Caller About 12.7 liters.

37:50 Adam Wow. They're all mostly straight configuration?

37:54 Caller Yeah, straight sixes.

37:56 Adam Turbo charge, a lot of them?

37:58 Caller Yeah, turbo charge, that's cold.

38:00 Adam Whatever. Nice.

38:00 Caller All that good stuff.

38:02 Adam What did you say, 12 liter?

38:04 Caller Yeah, 12.7, 11 around there.

38:06 Adam Big engines. All right there, buddy.

38:08 Caller Don't cut. I was also wondering, when me and my girlfriend mess around, like afterwards, like we don't, I'm a virgin still, and some seaman comes out and was wondering if that's normal.

38:20 Drew Yes, normal.

38:21 Adam Fine. Yeah. It's page 487 of the Bible. Tells you all about that.

38:25 Drew Psalms 3.

38:27 Adam That's right. And 488 used to dab the seaman off. All right, everybody. Good times. Well, listen, these guys are reading the Bible and cutting their foreskins off. I mean, that's a certain brand of Tartism right there. Listen, here's the Bible. Bible is to stop bullets, protect you from vampires, and to use as coasters and motels when you're banging the bejesus out of your secretary.

38:52 Drew I see.

38:52 Adam People have really got to learn what that book is used for. Lindsay?

38:56 Yeah?

38:57 Adam You're 19. What's up?

39:00 Caller I heard Drew make a comment about marshmallows affecting the way semen tastes in a bad way.

39:07 Drew No, I didn't. I just said it's already bad, and it's always bad, and that eating marshmallows...

39:14 Adam Well, you have acquired a taste for it, obviously. True. Easy over there.

39:20 Caller All guys are different.

39:21 Adam They are?

39:22 Drew That's true. But none of it is...

39:25 Adam How do you know that?

39:26 Drew Devonter Crane.

39:28 Adam How do you know that all guys are different, Lindsay?

39:31 Caller All the guys that I've had...

39:34 Drew How many guys?

39:35 Caller Yeah.

39:36 Adam Do you ever go semen tasting, go up to semen country?

39:40 Caller No.

39:40 Adam No. How many penises have you tasted?

39:44 Caller Oh, I don't even know.

39:46 Adam You stinking whore! Can't count, huh?

39:49 Caller No, no. It's not that many, but I just don't care to remember.

39:53 Drew Well, give us an idea how many we're talking about here.

39:56 Caller Less than 20.

39:57 Drew Less than 20. Why would you care to remember? That's sort of a guy move.

40:00 Adam Oh, it helps, though, when people give you the less number.

40:03 Drew Why is it...

40:04 Adam You know what I mean? It's like a ridiculous... Less than 20, it's also less than 2 million, right? Right.

40:09 Caller Yes.

40:09 Adam Okay.

40:10 Drew What is the issue here that you find it sort of serving to recall your past with your past relationships?

40:15 Caller No, it's just because I was kind of wild in the past, and now I settle down.

40:20 Drew Why are we so wild? Why are we so wild?

40:23 Caller I don't know. I was the same kid.

40:25 Drew No. What was going on?

40:29 Adam Let me tell you something, Drew. Not all girls, and I know this freaks you out, but girls can have some fun for a while.

40:36 Drew They'll go on a tear.

40:38 Adam Yeah, they can get a little momentum.

40:39 Drew She was making a little career going here.

40:40 Adam Yeah?

40:41 Drew And then you hear that.

40:42 Adam 120 penises. What's up?

40:44 Drew Ask her.

40:45 Caller I wasn't making a career out of it.

40:47 Adam Yeah?

40:48 Caller It was just various boyfriends and some mistakes. Like it wasn't just like being slutty or whatever.

40:54 Drew Yeah, but why is it so disturbing for you to think? Why is it so disturbing for you to think about it then?

40:58 Caller No, it's just I don't, I've settled down now and that's part of my past. You know what I mean?

41:03 Adam She's a good girl now.

41:05 Caller Yeah, I've totally, I've totally changed.

41:07 Adam Why don't you believe her?

41:08 Drew I do believe her, but she is so ashamed of it. It means something.

41:13 Caller No, it's not that I'm ashamed.

41:15 Drew Then why can't you even think about it? I care not to think about it, you said.

41:19 Caller No, I just don't care to remember. I don't care.

41:20 Drew I don't care to remember.

41:22 Adam Well, Drew, you don't care to remember all your relationships, do you?

41:25 Drew I'm very ashamed.

41:25 Adam And there you go.

41:27 Drew Well, we can get into my specifics if you want.

41:29 Adam No, we don't. We don't want to do that. No, no, we can't either. Lindsay? Yeah, good times, baby.

41:37 Drew What was your point?

41:38 Caller Oh, well, my point, I was calling in and I told the girl that I actually discovered on accident that when my boyfriend ate a lot of peeps, it made his semen taste really nice and sweet.

41:51 Caller Peeps? Really good.

41:52 Drew Was he diabetic?

41:54 Caller Uh, no.

41:55 Adam Well, what's peeps?

41:55 Caller He likes them.

41:56 Adam Easter candy?

41:57 Caller Peeps.

41:57 Drew Because if you take enough sugar in, simple sugars like that, that you start spilling sugar in the urine, you will get it in the semen.

42:04 Caller Oh, okay.

42:04 Drew So that may be what's happening.

42:05 Adam Oh, he's not diabetic.

42:07 Drew But he might be spilling some sugar.

42:09 Adam I'd like to spill some sugar.

42:11 Caller I mean, it's covered with sugar. Come on.

42:14 Adam Okay, thank you. There you go, baby. Hey, how's the grant going for this research? How's that research grant going? You get that funding yet? Keep up the good work, baby. All right. She's really doing God's work over there. Blowing guys on Easter. Now, listen, I'm not a religious man, but even I won't blow a guy on Easter. That's a day of rest. That's a day of atonement.

42:39 Drew Which is worse, that or eating the peeps?

42:41 Adam Easter was the day that Jesus was hung on the cross, or is that when he was resurrected? What the hell happens at his birthday? And then what's Christmas? Drew, what's Easter? Was he killed that day, or was he reborn that day? You don't know?

43:00 Drew I think it's when he came back.

43:01 Adam Came back? Easter he came back, all right. When was he hung on the cross, a week earlier? No, it's not that long. I'd expect to come back in about five days next time. Randy?

43:15 Caller Yeah.

43:15 Adam You're 17? What's up?

43:18 Caller Well, just this weekend, my girlfriend and I were playing around some Karma Sutra love oils. Well, after four hours, I'm sorry, four, round four, we stopped, not a long story short. My penis is raw, which is normal, but my scrotum looks like a bald man's head with too much sun. Okay.

43:49 Adam Yeah. Scrotum is very porous.

43:51 Drew So you think you're having a reaction to that ointment? Are they loyal? Possible? Any chance your girlfriend had herpes?

43:58 Caller Oh, no.

44:00 Drew Nobody had anything in their mouth or anything like that? No herpes in the mouth?

44:04 Caller No. We're the only partners each of us has been with.

44:06 Adam Yeah. How about you take one of them nice sits baths?

44:09 Drew Yeah, hot baths.

44:10 Adam Sit in a nice tub of warm water, try not to whack off and soak your nuts. Yeah, you'll be fine.

44:16 Drew It's probably just some sort of allergic reaction.

44:18 Adam Randy's so excited that he's getting light. You hear it this voice?

44:21 Drew He has to announce it to us, everyone.

44:25 Adam When we, on the fourth, pardon me, round four. Yes, we...

44:32 Caller Shaggy, shaggy, baby.

44:33 Adam We climbed the heights of, we scaled the heights of passion three times and then I went for a fourth. Remember that? Remember how excited you were to get light at a certain point in your life?

44:43 Drew Yeah, and dying to tell people about it.

44:44 Adam You know what I brag about now? Naps. I took a 90-minute nap just last week. I swear to Christ. All the way through. Then I wake up.

44:55 Caller It was great.

44:58 Adam Drew, you all right? Did your back hurt?

45:00 Drew I'm just, yeah.

45:01 Adam You're in a bad way today, bro.

45:03 Drew Yeah, I told you.

45:03 Adam Why don't you go grab a beer or something? Take the edge off. Is there any beer in here?

45:08 Drew Let's see what we can do.

45:09 Adam Let's get Drew fixed up. I don't like to see him this way. It really bothers me. All right, we'll be back. Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Drew, everybody. Drew's a little tired, a little down and out. Yeah, even Drew has his bad nights.

45:43 Drew What is the word for him?

45:43 Adam Morose.

45:44 Drew I'm not that bad. Sort of...

45:48 Adam Melancholy?

45:49 Drew Melancholy, that's a good way of putting it.

45:50 Adam Drew's a little melancholy tonight, everybody. It's all right, let's make him feel better, huh?

45:55 Drew Yeah, so far, Adam did a great job just empathizing, being there with me.

45:59 Adam When I said let's, I didn't mean me, I meant the callers.

46:01 Drew Yeah, no doubt.

46:03 Adam Let's give him a little boost, a little something. Blow a little smoke in his ass tonight. This guy busts his ass every night. How long, 18 years on this show?

46:11 Drew Yeah.

46:12 Adam Ten of them for free?

46:13 Drew Yeah.

46:14 Adam Busting ass trying to help the kids of the world.

46:17 Thank God for Dr. Drew.

46:19 Adam That's right. Let's help him out tonight. John? Yeah. Got anything nice to say about Drew?

46:25 Caller I do. Actually, he's great. I've been listening for over ten years. Wow.

46:31 Drew See?

46:31 Adam He's a dedicated man who cares about the community he lives in.

46:35 Caller I do. I know he does. He's great. He's actually given a lot of advice over the last ten years that I've really followed.

46:42 Drew Oh, John. Thank you. What's up tonight?

46:43 Caller Throughout his life, a man beloved by the children.

46:46 Caller That's right.

46:47 Drew What's up tonight, John?

46:49 Caller Well, I've got a friend that, well, she's now my fiancée, and I've been dating her intimately now for about the last nine months. And she, when I go down on her, she is quite, quite pungent. And I know that you talked about it last night as far as a man's unit and the smell of that changing the diet and everything. I wanted to know if you had any advice for my fiancée. Or how would I even approach it?

47:23 Adam Well, let me ask a few questions. Does she have any idea of her pungentity? Her pungentity?

47:31 Caller No, she does not.

47:32 Adam She does not, no. And does she, when you get to her, when you're intimate, is this after a-

47:38 Drew It's puntingy.

47:40 Adam Long day of work or do you guys shower first?

47:43 No, she takes a bath.

47:45 Caller I mean, it's like, I mean, it's not like she just came from a huge workout or anything.

47:50 Drew I mean-

47:50 Adam Right, she didn't just climb off the rodeo circuit. Is she a big gal?

47:56 Caller Uh, no, she's not. She's actually quite fit. Uh, she's, uh, you know, she's kind of petite, but-

48:02 Adam So, even when she's squeaky clean, that smell is still there.

48:07 Drew And the one thing you can get checked out is whether or not there's an infection. Sometimes certain bacteria can cause this, so you could maybe-

48:13 Caller Well, she doesn't have a yeast infection or anything.

48:15 Drew It's not yeast, it's just sort of a vaginal growth of bacteria that can cause funny smells. And you can harbor it in the tip of the penis and give it back to her and it can go back and forth. So, there's a reason to get it checked out.

48:29 Caller Okay.

48:29 Drew And beyond that, I don't know, sometimes I think people sort of chemistries don't mix that way, you know what I mean?

48:34 Adam Right, right.

48:35 Drew Certain smells bother some people and don't bother others. You're not bothered by your own smell.

48:41 Adam Well, it is funny that certain people have certain sensibilities, for instance, no one would argue about that. I mean, certain things that some people can't watch, other people have no difficulty watching, and then those same people couldn't watch something the other people could watch.

48:57 Drew Right.

48:57 Adam I wonder if it works that way with the olfactory senses.

49:02 Drew I know there's a lot of difference there. There's a nasal spray I use a lot of, a steroid nasal spray, and to me it smells like roses, it smells fantastic, and about 30% of the time I give it to people and they go, Oh my God, it was disgusting. How dare you give me something that smells so awful?

49:18 Adam Yeah.

49:18 Drew And so it's a different chemistry.

49:21 Adam Let me go down on her and give you my unbiased opinion, John.

49:25 Drew Well, we have to put ten guys down and then, yeah.

49:28 Adam Let me and some of my buddies go down on her and then. Oh, sure.

49:32 Caller So this is my future wife you're talking about.

49:34 Drew Well, she's not your wife now.

49:36 Adam Yeah. Let us get to her before you marry her.

49:39 Caller Oh, okay.

49:39 Drew But I think one of the things we advise people to do is to say that, you know, you heard us talking about it on Loveline and we decided that we were saying that a funny smell or peculiar smell could mean infection and just say, hey, I just noticed something and, you know.

49:53 Caller Okay. So bring it up that way. It's like a third party. I heard it.

49:56 Drew Yeah.

49:56 Caller And actually call in.

49:58 Drew Yeah.

49:58 Adam Right. Yes.

49:59 Drew No. Good thinking.

50:02 Adam And, John, kind of do it as if you just noticed it.

50:05 Drew Right. Something new.

50:06 Adam Yeah.

50:06 Drew Not even tolerating it for a long time.

50:08 Adam Yeah. You love her so much. You're going to marry her. You just, you want to make sure she's in good health and see if she can have that checked out.

50:15 Drew And every woman does have their own unique funk, as do men.

50:22 Adam Yeah.

50:23 Drew And I would imagine that given how different the olfactory functions are, some people that might not mix right. Now, what I find fascinating is whether or not John, fast forward three years, suddenly doesn't smell it anymore. You know, the way you get used to your own smells.

50:38 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I bet he doesn't. I mean, people get used to their kids, right? Change your kid's diaper and that kind of stuff doesn't bother them.

50:47 Drew Right.

50:48 Adam Kids spit gets on them and stuff. They don't care.

50:50 Drew Listen, I've got to point out, when the kid is ready to vomit, I just cut my hands. Here you go.

50:55 Adam Drew now just opens his mouth when his kids have to vomit.

50:58 Drew It's like a bird.

50:59 Adam Yeah. Mercer. Yeah. Hey, you're 18. What's up?

51:07 Caller Yeah. Yeah, I have a problem. Sometimes I find myself like attracted to younger girls, like between the ages of 10 and 12.

51:17 Drew That is a problem.

51:18 Caller Yeah.

51:18 Drew Were you abused at that age?

51:21 Caller Honestly, I'm not sure. No, I know I wasn't abused at that age, but between like two and three, there's a missing gap. I don't remember what happened.

51:33 Drew Two and three is an age that many people don't remember.

51:36 Caller Yeah. That's true. But like, for example, me, when I was one, I remembered a lot.

51:42 Drew One?

51:43 Caller Yeah.

51:43 Adam No. I never believe that.

51:47 Drew I remember some when I was one. Do you? I can remember the room I was raised in.

51:51 Adam No.

51:52 Drew I can tell why I remember a lot is because we moved when I was two, and I have a lot of memories of that house.

51:56 Adam Yeah. Are you sure you didn't just see it in the Scrant book later on?

51:59 Drew No, because I've never...

52:02 Adam You've got to smoke more weed, Drew. Get rid of that one.

52:04 Drew Yeah.

52:05 Caller All right. See, that's the same situation with me because I wasn't really born in this country, but when I was one, I was brought over here to this country, and it was like a drastic change for me.

52:16 Drew So you remember. Okay, interesting.

52:18 Caller Yeah. And like, I mean, it's like, it's not bad that I get the urge to act upon it, but when I masturbate, I think about it.

52:30 Drew Well, you're 18 now?

52:31 Caller Yeah.

52:32 Drew Did anything happen to you when you were 10 or 12?

52:35 Caller No.

52:35 Drew And you're trying to sort of recoup? Anything, you're trying to get back there and?

52:39 Caller No, nothing.

52:40 Adam What's going on in these masturbatorial scenarios?

52:46 Caller Um, like, just basic, like, my little sister has a sleepover, and I'm sitting here, you know, watching a porno or something. Yeah. And one of them comes down, and, you know, your first reaction when somebody interrupts you and something like that, and you switch the channel. But for some reason, I don't.

53:05 Drew In your, in your, in your fantasy, yeah.

53:07 Caller Right.

53:08 Adam Yeah.

53:08 Caller And instead of her, like, shying away from me and, like, be like, ooh, that's disgusting, she, like, sits down right next to me.

53:14 Adam Yeah. Nice 10-year-old?

53:16 Caller Yeah, 10, 12-year-old.

53:19 Adam How old is your sister?

53:21 Caller My sister's nine.

53:23 Drew Well, here's the deal. You hang on, they're fantasies at this point, you keep watching, see if this doesn't just kind of mature into something different, and if it doesn't, you go talk to someone.

53:33 Adam Yeah, but don't you ever, ever act on it.

53:36 Drew Oh, my God.

53:37 Adam No, no. You know, and I'll tell you why. I mean, A, it's wrong, but B, Mercer's not wildly screwed up.

53:47 Drew Right.

53:48 Adam He's just got to touch a screwball in him. Yeah. And if you're really screwed up, you can kill people and eat them, and then, you know, just save, save the vagina and have sex with it, wear it like a batting donut for a couple of months, and sleep like a baby.

54:01 Drew The fact that you thought of the hat disturbs me.

54:04 Adam That's part of being really f'd up.

54:06 Drew Yeah, you just don't.

54:07 Adam Not being too bothered, or at least bothered enough by your actions not to do them again. But sometimes people are on the cusp.

54:14 Drew Yeah, Mercer's there.

54:15 Adam And they can slip and have a bad episode, and it can haunt them the rest of their life. It would be guilt-ridden and police, you're worried about the cops and all that good stuff.

54:24 Drew You know, you've been mentioning that a lot last couple of nights.

54:26 Adam The cops?

54:27 Drew Well, about being guilt-ridden and the police are going to come get you. Is that something you want to tell us?

54:33 Adam Yeah. What do you mean, I've been talking about that a lot?

54:36 Drew You've mentioned that you've talked vividly about trying to live with the guilt and the fear of, you know, somebody walking in or finding you, or one of these young girls going home and talking about it.

54:48 Adam No, I, how, oh, first off, how dare you? How dare you? Oh, wait a minute, yeah, you're right, I didn't do it, I didn't do the double clutch. Let me try it again.

55:00 Caller How dare you?

55:03 Adam How dare you?

55:05 Drew How dare you? How dare me?

55:07 Adam Now, I'm just saying, and I've said it a few times, yes, when we're talking about pedophiles and these guys that are in their 30s who screw around with their nieces, don't defend yourselves, this is my next calls. All right.

55:21 Drew I'm just screwing around with you.

55:22 Adam All right, buddy. Easy now, you're scaring me.

55:27 Drew That's what I'm talking about.

55:29 Adam Did I protest too much?

55:30 Drew Yeah.

55:31 Adam Julie?

55:32 Caller Hi.

55:32 Adam You're 20, what's up?

55:33 Caller Yeah, I am a full-time college student and I also have a part-time job and I smoke pot every day really consistently and I'm just wondering, should I be worried about that since it's not really changing my lifestyle, it's not hurting like when do you smoke the weed? Normally at night time.

55:53 Drew Bedtime?

55:54 Caller Yeah.

55:55 Adam Normally?

55:56 Caller Huh?

55:57 Adam Always at night or sometimes in the morning?

55:59 Caller Sometimes. Not in the morning. It's not like when I wake up but sometimes late afternoon and almost always at night.

56:06 Drew So it's a couple of times a day?

56:08 Caller Not, well, probably once or twice a week, a couple of times a day but...

56:11 Adam Listen, for me, whatever drugs you do or booze you do, whatever it is you do, hey, if you can do it at night when you're done with a good productive day of school and work, I'm all right with that. I mean, as long as it's not heroin.

56:24 Drew Well, I got to tell you that a significant number of alcoholics that I've treated and I would dare say some of the marijuana addicts start using these drugs to go to sleep. That's where they start.

56:37 Caller I started in high school pretty much like for recreation.

56:41 Drew Well, Julie, if you're a marijuana addict, you start pow because it's so powerfully euphoric. The second or third time you get high and, man, that's it. That's all you can think about from then on and you will use it either a lot or moderately or just daily for years and years and years and it will take many years before the consequences will start to come to bear. You'll start getting depressed, becoming irritable, having problems with memory and then it will come. That will come.

57:07 Adam Do you want to quit?

57:09 Caller In the future, I really would like to quit.

57:12 Drew Julie, Julie, you don't want to quit right now.

57:15 Caller No, no.

57:15 Drew And that's fine. And it's good. But know that there will come a time when you will really have to take this very seriously.

57:22 Caller Okay.

57:22 Drew Because it doesn't stop. It does not stop. This is something that has to be treated.

57:27 Adam Hey, Julie.

57:27 Caller Yeah.

57:28 Adam In the meantime, can you treat it like the reward that you give yourself at the end of a long day and not in the middle of it?

57:36 Caller Yeah. Well, normally, that's kind of how I feel. I feel like as long as I'm doing well in school and I keep a good job, I'm not too stressed about the effects of it at the moment. So that's, I kind of just do it before I go to bed after I know that I've...

57:49 Adam All right. What do you do? How long before you go to bed do you get stoned?

57:54 Caller Well, normally, while I'm listening to you guys.

57:56 Adam Yeah.

57:56 Caller And then I'll go to bed probably an hour after the show's over.

57:58 Adam Makes the show better, right?

58:00 Caller Oh, yeah.

58:01 Drew The significant effects, it's real... What's extraordinary about this drug is how variable the time interval is between the onset of the daily use and the real significant effects.

58:11 Adam Yeah.

58:11 Drew Some people's one year, some people's 30 years.

58:14 Adam Well...

58:14 Drew It's very interesting.

58:15 Adam Right. And you take a drug like Speed...

58:17 Drew It's faster. Always.

58:19 Adam Yeah. That's like, you know, five weeks of doing Speed.

58:22 Drew You're going to have problems. Yeah. Absolutely.

58:24 Adam Yeah. Some people smoke weed for 20 years.

58:26 Drew It's the same issue with alcohol. People can control it and kind of moderate it for years and years and years, then all of a sudden the consequence come to bear if they have the gene. And Julie's got the gene.

58:34 Adam But if you got the gene, how can you moderate for 20 years?

58:39 Drew Every alcoholic goes through a period. Because part of the...

58:41 Adam I know there's a period, but 20 years is a pretty long period.

58:44 Drew Here's the... There's two elements of the gene. One is, these drugs have very powerful positive effects. Oh, that's good radio.

58:54 Adam That was pretty Freudian there. Drew just held his hand up. He took all his fingers down except for his middle two, and then he lowered the index. So, he's just giving me the bird. One is, and he was just shaking his FU finger at me.

59:11 Drew Okay, well, we'll give it the old referee sign. Right. One is that when you have the gene, these chemicals have a very powerful euphoric effect. They're very positive. They really work. That's why people use them.

59:25 Adam Right.

59:25 Drew And so, that will remain constant. So, somebody that can control their use for periods of time will use it because it works for them. The problem with this drug, part of the gene also is that eventually you hit a threshold where a sort of a switch is thrown and now it goes on in spite of it no longer working, in spite of anything, it progresses. Right.

59:44 Adam And that switch could be thrown at any time.

59:46 Drew At any time.

59:47 Adam So, you're really saying that the alcoholic gene sounds like a two-part thing.

59:52 Drew It's probably multiple parts, but the two-

59:54 Adam First is I love it and the second is eventually it's not going to work for you.

59:58 Drew It's not working for me, but I can't stop.

1:00:00 Adam Right. Good times. Melissa?

1:00:05 Best Of Hello?

1:00:05 Adam Hello?

1:00:06 Best Of Hi.

1:00:06 Adam Hey, you're 24. What's up?

1:00:08 Best Of Right. Well, I like, I have a dog and I let her lick my genital area and I'm wondering how I can stop doing that because I know it's not normal.

1:00:24 Adam Yeah. You let her do it or you get her to do it?

1:00:28 Caller Well, I get her to do it.

1:00:29 Adam How do you get her to do it?

1:00:32 Best Of Well, I just like, like lay down and like I can put something there or...

1:00:39 Adam What do you put there? A little pate?

1:00:43 Caller Well, I just, like...

1:00:47 Drew We're just curious.

1:00:49 Best Of Well, like, like peanut butter.

1:00:51 Adam Oh, really?

1:00:52 Best Of Right. Hmm.

1:00:53 Drew I'm just thinking that commercial.

1:00:55 Adam Yeah, we're that... Oh, I can see now that... I, I can, I, I really, I, I can watch, um... I mean, I've got...

1:01:03 Drew You watch snuff films.

1:01:04 Adam I watch Mexican snuff films, but I see that milk commercial where that dog eats a mouthful of peanut butter, is chomping away.

1:01:10 Drew Walk away from the TV.

1:01:11 Adam I got, I got to run from the TV. Okay, so you put, you really put some peanut butter down there?

1:01:17 Caller Yeah.

1:01:18 Adam Really?

1:01:19 Drew Right.

1:01:20 Adam Smooth or chunky? Well, smooth. Yeah, smart.

1:01:23 Drew Be serious.

1:01:24 Adam And then you lie down.

1:01:25 Drew How dare you?

1:01:26 Adam Well, it makes a difference. Smooth is a better call.

1:01:29 Drew Chunky is kind of a mess.

1:01:30 Adam I like chunky better. I don't trust people. For me, people get smooth peanut butter like people who order thick crust pizza. Don't trust them. These are the same people who order a hot dog with nothing but ketchup. Don't not trust those people at all. But you put it on there and you just lie down on the floor.

1:01:46 Caller Okay, yes. And I really am serious.

1:01:48 Adam I know. The dog comes up and licks you and you have an orgasm? Yes. How long does it take?

1:01:54 Caller Well, it doesn't take like very long.

1:01:57 Adam I see.

1:01:59 Drew Are there other things you could maybe start to do on your own? You know what I mean? That doesn't include another being?

1:02:04 Adam Yeah, like put some peanut butter on a vibrator or something. Oh, wait, you don't even need the peanut butter at that point, right?

1:02:09 Drew Whatever.

1:02:10 Best Of I have done other things.

1:02:13 Drew Let's sort of look at the big picture here. Do you have normal relationships?

1:02:17 Caller Well, I don't really have many relationships.

1:02:19 Drew How come?

1:02:21 Best Of Just because... Well, I kind of like, like, I like men, but I've been, like, hurt by men a lot, so I don't...

1:02:40 Adam What'd they do to you?

1:02:42 Best Of Well, I have a path of, like, molestation and stuff, but...

1:02:47 Drew Molestation, yeah. And were you abandoned when you were a kid? Were you left alone for long periods of time?

1:02:53 Best Of Um, no, but my parents are, like, like, drug addicts and stuff.

1:03:00 Drew Okay.

1:03:01 Adam There we go.

1:03:01 Drew And when she was abused, when she was a kid, sexually abused.

1:03:04 Adam Who sexually abused you?

1:03:06 Best Of Um, different people, and my dad and stuff.

1:03:10 Adam Oh, boy.

1:03:11 Drew And are you in treatment? Have you been in treatment?

1:03:15 Best Of Um, like, support groups and stuff?

1:03:17 Drew No, I mean, like, a psychiatrist. What?

1:03:19 Best Of I'm sorry, what?

1:03:20 Drew A psychiatrist.

1:03:21 Best Of No.

1:03:22 Drew Never?

1:03:23 Best Of Well, I went to counseling for, like, four months, and that's it.

1:03:26 Adam You ever see that movie Air Bud?

1:03:28 Best Of No. Check it.

1:03:31 Adam You need to talk to a therapist, Melissa.

1:03:33 Drew Well, I think she needs to see us as a character, because this is-

1:03:35 Adam Could be a little chemical imbalance?

1:03:37 Drew Well, it's a more- she needs a more thorough assessment. She may need a therapist.

1:03:42 Best Of I do, like, other things, like-

1:03:44 Drew No, I'm sure of it.

1:03:45 Best Of Like, I cut on myself.

1:03:46 Drew Yeah. Okay, here we go.

1:03:47 Adam Yeah. Now, are you functional? Are you working? Are you out of the house?

1:03:51 Best Of I work, and I go to school, and stuff.

1:03:52 Drew Yeah, but you can't have relationships yet, right?

1:03:54 Best Of Right.

1:03:54 Drew That's too vulnerable, too painful. And if you really want to get on in your life, and have-

1:04:00 Best Of Right, and I'm, like, really standoffish, I'm like-

1:04:02 Drew I'm sure. People have been awful to you.

1:04:05 Adam Hey, Melissa-

1:04:05 Drew People that are responsible to take care of you.

1:04:07 Adam Listen to me for a second. I'm a genius. What? First off, clean up good if you ever go to a gynecologist. They find peanut butter down there. They're gonna call the Humane Society. Betty White's gonna be over with a shotgun full of Roxal. You have been horribly traumatized. And it is affecting your adult life. You're good and functional. That's the good news.

1:04:30 Drew That's nice.

1:04:31 Caller Right, but I don't think I will ever...

1:04:35 Adam Oh, yes, you will be.

1:04:37 Drew Yeah, you will if you get some help.

1:04:39 Adam You gotta treat it like a second job.

1:04:41 Best Of Like how Adam says, you know, that these people just need to be... Never have kids and...

1:04:45 Drew Yeah, yeah. That's right. But they did have kids.

1:04:50 Adam No, she's talking about her.

1:04:51 Best Of I'm one of those people and I don't...

1:04:54 Adam Okay, listen, Melissa, listen.

1:04:56 Caller What?

1:04:57 Adam You are one of those people right now. No, you shouldn't have kids. No, you shouldn't be in a relationship. Yes, not now, but if you get some help and you get some therapy and you do the work that's required, you can have a good life and a family and a loving family and a wonderful, productive life. You really can't. And you can't stay home and feel sorry for yourself. You have to treat it like it's an illness in a way and you have to go to work on it.

1:05:30 Best Of So how do I find a psychiatrist?

1:05:33 Drew I mean... You live in Seattle, right? Yeah, University of Washington has one of the world-renowned departments of psychiatry. You just head over there and get a relationship with someone and see where we can take you because this needs treatment. You need some help. And the fact that you've gone this far without any kind of intervention is remarkable and shows just the kind of fortitude you have. And she sounds like she has a great constitution, doesn't she? I mean, she should really be far less well-off than she is.

1:05:58 Adam Listen, I've said it many times. My dad missed a couple of Pop Warner football games and I'm still not right.

1:06:06 Drew Therapy, how many years?

1:06:08 Adam Off and on.

1:06:09 Drew 14 years? No. 12.

1:06:11 Adam Ah, 11.

1:06:12 Caller Okay.

1:06:13 Adam How dare you. But of course you're not feeling right. You were victimized by your horrible, horrible dad and his friends and your parents and everything. It's a mess. You can get yourself right and just work on it. It's all right. It's not a death sentence. Let's take a little break here, Drew, and we'll be back with you after this.

1:06:37 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:06:39 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:06:48 Drew Maybe get the whole hood.

1:06:48 Caller All right.

1:06:49 Adam It's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. The damn show interrupting our spirited conversation about cars. We, you know, Drew and I both are car enthusiast because...

1:07:02 Drew We are. This is the only time of the night, these three-minute interludes we have.

1:07:07 Adam Yeah.

1:07:08 Drew The only time testosterone actually surges in my veins.

1:07:11 Adam When I force you to talk about my car?

1:07:13 Drew Yeah. That's it in my life.

1:07:16 Adam Yeah, we have... Drew, I've really turned you into a man, haven't I?

1:07:19 Drew Slowly.

1:07:20 Adam Thank you. John?

1:07:22 Yeah.

1:07:22 Adam You're 29?

1:07:23 Caller Hey, what's up, guys?

1:07:24 Adam Hey.

1:07:25 Caller Drew, I got to give you a big shout out and a thank you. I'm graduated from medical school in a couple of weeks.

1:07:30 Drew Congratulations.

1:07:30 Caller A couple of months. Thank you. Great. And I just got to tell you, I basically started listening to you guys probably four years ago or something like that. I have learned so much from you over the past few years.

1:07:39 Drew Oh, awesome.

1:07:40 Caller I mean, I remember particularly different instances when I was taking out Step One of the boards, a couple of questions they were asking and I just remember hearing you say it like two to three weeks before. So I got them right. Wow.

1:07:52 Drew That's awesome.

1:07:53 Caller Just a little stuff. I really wanted to say a big thank you on this year, Melancholic Night.

1:07:57 Drew Thank you, John. Are you at the University of Arizona?

1:08:00 Caller No, I'm just doing my clinical rotations out here. I go to school out in Pomona, actually.

1:08:05 Drew Pomona, at the?

1:08:07 Caller Western.

1:08:09 Drew Oh, I see a Western. And so you're at University of Arizona doing their rotations?

1:08:14 Caller Yeah, I'm rotating at the county hospitals out here.

1:08:16 Drew Oh, good times.

1:08:17 Adam That's a residency?

1:08:18 Drew No, he's just still doing his clinical rotations.

1:08:20 Adam What is a clinical rotation?

1:08:22 Caller It's going into internal medicine.

1:08:23 Drew Oh, good luck. It's very similar to what you do as a resident. You just further down the totem pole. Your responsibilities are not as...

1:08:30 Caller Yeah, pretty much.

1:08:31 Drew You're doing more grunt work. People are telling you to jump into piles of crap.

1:08:35 Caller Yeah, I get to go get the lunch for the residents.

1:08:37 Drew Quite literally. And the buck doesn't stop with you so much, but you're running out of doodles.

1:08:45 Adam All right. Well, thanks for saying that, because Drew's having a tough night tonight.

1:08:48 Caller Yeah, we'll perk him up a bit.

1:08:50 Adam Hey, I'm doing the best I can over here.

1:08:52 Caller I know you're working on it, but keep going.

1:08:53 Adam I can only stroke the guy so much.

1:08:55 Caller We're going to need to hear about that, though.

1:08:57 Adam All right, John.

1:08:57 Drew Thanks.

1:08:58 Adam Thanks for the words of comfort.

1:08:59 Drew Take care.

1:09:00 Adam All right. Yeah, good times there. Let's talk to Brittany. Brittany?

1:09:05 Caller Yes.

1:09:05 Adam 15, what's up?

1:09:07 Caller Okay. I'm sure you've heard of Jay Gordon from the band Orgy.

1:09:13 Drew Didn't we have him over here? Yeah.

1:09:15 Caller Yeah, you did.

1:09:17 Drew We're looking at cable that he brought for us.

1:09:19 Adam Orgy gave us our mic cords.

1:09:21 Drew Yeah.

1:09:22 Caller See, I'm pretty much in love with lead singer. It's like gone past obsession.

1:09:28 Drew In what sense? What do you mean past obsession?

1:09:30 Caller Well, I mean, like first it was just, you know, like, I don't know, like I like the glam rock and everything. And it was a regular just liking the music. But now I found out like so much information about him. I know more than anybody does about him. And it's gotten to the point where it's like all I can think about, all I can talk about. And I honestly think that I'm going to meet him and that he'll find some interest in me.

1:09:57 Drew No, that's normal for your age. It really is.

1:09:59 Adam He's too tall for you.

1:10:01 Caller Oh, I know.

1:10:01 Drew And he wears too much makeup.

1:10:03 Caller No, no, that's fine. See, and I'm not.

1:10:07 Caller He's bisexual.

1:10:09 Caller No, he's not.

1:10:10 Adam Well, Drew said he was bisexual.

1:10:12 Drew No, that was Andy.

1:10:13 Caller Is he?

1:10:13 Drew No, Brittany, listen. We actually like those guys a lot.

1:10:18 Adam I like the lads from Orgy quite a bit because they're really nice guys. So nice that when they, when I guess it was Jay heard that we were having some difficulty with our-

1:10:29 Drew Well, he was here looking at it. He goes, look at that cables crap you guys have.

1:10:32 Adam Equipment over here. He, how do you get these cables over here, Anderson?

1:10:37 Caller I actually used to kind of hang out with them before he was in Orgy. So he had me go over to his house and pick them up.

1:10:42 Drew Really?

1:10:43 Adam Just gave you some cords, got you high, quick candy and then-

1:10:47 Caller Actually, I went over there like five years just waking up and there were cords and just equipment everywhere.

1:10:51 Caller His apartment was just, it looked like this place.

1:10:54 Adam Wow, so Anderson knows where he lives, Brittany. What do you think of that?

1:10:57 Caller Oh my God.

1:10:58 Adam Yeah. Big rock star. Well, okay, so how's the rest of your life going?

1:11:05 Caller It's fine, but it's like, whenever, like he was just on Charmed tonight and I was watching it and it's like, it's like something was missing, like I'm not gonna have satisfaction until I meet him.

1:11:17 Drew Are you a little bit depressed too?

1:11:19 Caller Yeah, no, I get depressed like if I see him.

1:11:22 Drew Yeah, but you're depressed in general.

1:11:24 Caller Oh yeah, I've had a lot of problems.

1:11:26 Drew Yeah, and this is just a manifestation of that and it's age appropriate, it's sort of normal. The bigger problem here is you just dealing with your mood and making sure you find other ways to nurture yourself, find a way to engage with your friends to get a clearer sense of yourself and be productive and you solve those things, you do those things. Magically, these obsessions tend to settle down.

1:11:49 Adam Do you ever get that way, Drew?

1:11:51 Drew Growing up, anything? Yeah, I remember me a little bit.

1:11:53 Adam Bobby Sherman?

1:11:53 Drew Linda Blair, remember that?

1:11:54 Adam Oh, you were into Linda Blair? Oh, you were crazy about Linda Blair? How old were you?

1:11:58 Drew Oh, like 14 or something.

1:12:01 Adam Oh, you were a little bit older. And you'd seen The Exorcist? Yeah. What did you see her on?

1:12:06 Drew Exorcist. I'm trying to remember this now. Yeah, Exorcist.

1:12:10 Adam And you got really... Now, when you saw Exorcist, you were what? How old?

1:12:14 Drew 14, 15.

1:12:15 Adam And Linda Blair was?

1:12:16 Drew Same, same age, something like that.

1:12:17 Adam 13?

1:12:18 Drew Yeah.

1:12:18 Adam Maybe she's a year or two younger than you?

1:12:21 Drew I think the same age.

1:12:22 Adam All right. And you became obsessed with her?

1:12:25 Drew Kind of.

1:12:25 Adam You ever do anything?

1:12:26 Drew No.

1:12:27 Adam No, wrote any letters?

1:12:28 Drew No, no, no, no, no.

1:12:29 Adam Asked for any...

1:12:30 Drew But I remember that feeling. I was depressed. And I was depressed.

1:12:34 Adam Anderson wants to know if you ever try to dress yourself up like a crucifix. So maybe she'd use you in an unholy way. You'd probably get screwed and go foot first. You're depressed. Right. And you're obsessed with Linda Blair. No letters, no headshots, no books, no posters, no nothing.

1:12:51 Drew No, nothing. But that was a manifestation of my depression.

1:12:53 Adam Yeah. It always happens. I mean, whenever you see these stockers or these guys, they're not Aldo Celli. They're not out getting laid at the talk of the town. They're home and depressed and they got plenty of time to plot and think about things. Yeah.

1:13:12 Drew And I remember I used to get little kind of crushes too on television, things like that. But I just remember that feeling, that feeling of thinking about somebody out in the media all the time and how desperate that felt and awful. And it really was just a deflection from feeling just jolting.

1:13:26 Best Of Yeah.

1:13:27 Adam And you knew you're never going to meet them. And you knew they could care less about you. And they didn't know you from Adam or Drew. Kelly?

1:13:37 Best Of Yeah.

1:13:37 Adam You're 19?

1:13:39 Best Of Yeah, I am.

1:13:40 Adam What's up?

1:13:41 Best Of I feel really bad because I listen to your guys' show every single night for like five years. And I feel like I should be able to answer my own question. But it's really bad. I'm 35 weeks pregnant. I'm actually due next month. And I'm not with a father anymore because of a whole dramatic situation with a 17-year-old girl and everything.

1:14:01 Drew How old is the dad?

1:14:03 Best Of He's 23.

1:14:04 Drew Are you shocked that he's with a 17-year-old?

1:14:07 Best Of He actually has broken up with her since.

1:14:09 Drew But are you shocked that he was 17 when after all you were 18 when he got you pregnant?

1:14:14 Caller No. All right.

1:14:16 Drew So he's just in a big A-hole. We got that.

1:14:19 Best Of Yeah. It makes me kind of worry about what kind of person I am to choose someone like that. But that's not the point.

1:14:25 Drew Listen, just keep those thoughts because that's an excellent way to think about things. So sort of really evaluate yourself.

1:14:31 Adam It's important to beat yourself up.

1:14:32 Drew Not beat yourself up. No, no, no. But to be keep your eyes open to see if there are things about us, emotions, we can't control. Yeah. Is there something going on? It's a good question.

1:14:43 Best Of Yeah. But my biggest problem now is probably for the last four months, I read into a guy who seems absolutely really extremely great except for the fact that he's been with his girlfriend for four and a half years and that I mean he says flat out that there that he doesn't see himself marrying her but he doesn't want to leave the situation because he's comfortable enough to do you still and you want to have a relationship with this guy?

1:15:07 Adam He's a real sweet talker this Jeff.

1:15:08 Drew Yeah, what do you even consider? What are you doing?

1:15:12 Adam Well, hold on, she's pregnant, she's desperate. How old is this guy?

1:15:17 Best Of He's 25 and he works in construction. When I very first met him I was like I can't talk to you, Adam would be so disappointed in me.

1:15:25 Adam Yeah, construction. Horrible, horrible men.

1:15:29 Drew With an old lady and probably some kids?

1:15:32 Best Of No, actually they don't. She's almost 30 actually and they don't have any kids. Yeah, it's a good situation actually. They're like roommates kind of.

1:15:43 Adam Oh please, Kelly. Yeah, roommates who are buff every night. How often do you see this guy and where do you see him?

1:15:52 Best Of I see him every day. He calls me as soon as he gets home from work. He comes over every day. He hangs out with me every single night. I mean we do stuff tomorrow. We have plans in the afternoon. We're going to go down to the river. It's just nice.

1:16:03 Adam Oh, the river. Let me explain the white trash pecking order. It goes like this. It goes ocean.

1:16:15 Drew Ocean's not white trash, though, is it?

1:16:17 Adam No, but here's the aquatic pecking order. Ocean, lake, river. River's at the bottom. Folks that head down, that is albino, translucent white trash shows people go down to the river. They get that 12 pack of hams and they put it out in the stream, fire up the ski-doo, smoke some weed and maybe they get on an ATV, pull a brody on that and get trapped under it. Have to be airlifted out. Yeah, going to the river, baby, what the hell is up with that?

1:16:56 Best Of I know, I know.

1:16:58 Adam What's at that river? Bunch of other, bunch of other heshers, right? Listening to Ario Speedwagon from their four-wheel drive.

1:17:05 Drew Let me clarify this, when are you going to the river?

1:17:07 Best Of Tomorrow afternoon.

1:17:09 Drew Nine months pregnant and you're going to the river?

1:17:11 Best Of Well, it's not, it's not as if, I mean, I live really close to the river, actually. It's not as if it's like a, you know, three-hour trip.

1:17:18 Adam All right.

1:17:19 Best Of We're just going to take dogs, his dogs actually, and just go hang out.

1:17:22 Adam Okay. Now, what is, what is his old lady say about this? I mean, how she let him get away with this?

1:17:29 Best Of She's so wonderful. It's really terrible. But I see her almost as often as I see him, because I go over to his house and hang out with him there, too.

1:17:37 Drew But you know what?

1:17:38 Caller I have no idea.

1:17:40 Drew There's something very bizarre here.

1:17:42 Adam I'm starting to come back with Kelly a little bit. I mean, there's something going on with his old lady and him.

1:17:47 Drew But you know what?

1:17:48 Adam Kind of a weird arrangement or something.

1:17:50 Drew Not good. Whatever it is, it's diabolical. You know what I'm saying? Whatever this is, this is not a good situation. It's too weird. Too weird. Hey, I'm going to have my new girlfriend come over and visit us.

1:18:02 Adam She's nine months pregnant.

1:18:03 Drew Nine months pregnant. And we're going to take my dogs down to the river.

1:18:06 Adam Do you guys do anything? Do you have a physical relationship with him?

1:18:10 Best Of Yeah.

1:18:11 Adam You just give, you get moral sex?

1:18:13 Best Of No, actually, it's been kind of like a friendship exchange of physical contact, being that I'm this pregnant. I mean, I'm hormonal and I have sexual needs too. But we actually, we met through my cousin. We went to a monster truck rally.

1:18:35 Adam You know what I love about this monster truck rallies? I love it when guys out in the crowd get drunk and get in a fist fight. Say, you a Dodge man or you a Mopar man? I'm a Chevy man. You got something to say? Ford kicked Chevy's ass. Oh yeah? Bring it on. Let me tell you, the Grave Digger, that's got a Mopar, that's got a blown, Hemi, Big Block, Mopar, it's a Chrysler Powerplant, that thing. And the Grave Digger would kick Bigfoot's ass, all right? Bigfoot's got the 454 Ford, no Hemi, no Hemi.

1:19:11 Best Of Oh my God.

1:19:13 Adam Isn't that what goes on there?

1:19:15 Caller Yeah, a lot of that.

1:19:17 Adam Hey, what are you, you know, this is like the movie Mask. You got to raise your kid with a bunch of, like, crazed white trash biker's argument over engines and going down to the river.

1:19:29 Caller But it's, it's guys that are like that.

1:19:31 Best Of I mean, a lot of you have a lot of those same qualities yourself. They're manly, working on their car and their garage.

1:19:37 Adam Yeah, that's true. That's true. All right. Thank you, baby. You may be right. Yeah, I did know something about that.

1:19:44 Drew I'm not disturbed about the cultural context of this relationship. I know that I should be, Adam, being very insightful and a product of that culture. I'm concerned about this relationship he's maintaining. There's something, something is rotten there. I don't know what they're up to, but they're up to something. Whether they're trying to reel you into a threesome, or I don't know what it is, but there is something up there.

1:20:05 Adam I think it's a-

1:20:06 Drew Big time.

1:20:07 Adam Big time. I think they're going to sacrificially destroy the baby. That's what they're looking for.

1:20:14 Drew Listen.

1:20:16 Adam Yeah. This is like Rosemary's baby.

1:20:19 Drew Adam, who the hell knows? But she's like, there's something going on here. It's too bizarre, right?

1:20:23 Adam Maybe. On behalf of the child, don't hang around this idiot anymore. Take a couple months off, have the kid, get yourself back in shape, find yourself a nice guy.

1:20:32 Drew There you go.

1:20:33 Adam Went down to the monster truck rail. We'll take ourselves a break, and we'll be back after this. It's me and that's him over there. Let's get back into the phones here, Mel and Collie Drew, and see what we can do. Megan?

1:21:04 Caller Yeah.

1:21:04 Adam You're 21, toots.

1:21:06 Caller I sure am. I actually, I had a story for Dr. Drew because he's all Mel and Collie.

1:21:10 Caller Thank you.

1:21:11 Caller About a month ago, I have an 18-month-old daughter, and I started listening to Loveline while I was getting her to go to sleep because it's really boring.

1:21:18 Drew Because Loveline's really boring?

1:21:19 Caller Because getting her to go to sleep is really boring.

1:21:22 Caller Because she won't go to sleep by herself.

1:21:24 Caller I have to walk around with her. Anyway, like a week ago, she started banging on the gate to get downstairs, and that's where her bedroom is. And so I come downstairs with her, she goes into her bedroom, she starts pointing to the radio and saying, Dadu, Dadu. What is Dadu? So I turn on the radio, it's Keed the Loveline, and she hears Dr. Drew's voice, and she says, Dadu, Dadu.

1:21:49 Adam You sure she wasn't saying Rick Dees?

1:21:51 Caller I'm pretty sure, but I just wanted to call and let you know that.

1:21:57 Drew Well, that is a sweet story. I'm feeling better already.

1:21:59 Adam Some of her first words were, Thank you, Megan. Dr. Dadu. That's nice, Megan.

1:22:05 Caller Well, thanks, you guys.

1:22:06 Adam Thanks, Megan.

1:22:07 Drew Take care.

1:22:07 Caller Have a good night.

1:22:08 Drew I will now, thanks.

1:22:09 Adam All right. See, there you go.

1:22:10 Drew I feel better.

1:22:11 Adam Dadu. Jessie?

1:22:12 Best Of Hey.

1:22:13 Adam You're 22, what's up?

1:22:14 Best Of Okay. I actually have two questions, but my first one is a concern for my older sister, she's 33, and she, she had met this guy off the internet, and he's into domination. He thinks she's a vampire.

1:22:31 Drew Oh, boy.

1:22:32 Best Of And so they, and he's younger than her, and he works, well, anyways, that's irrelevant.

1:22:37 Drew She's 33 and he is?

1:22:40 Best Of He's, I think he's in his twenties.

1:22:42 Drew Like 21, 22?

1:22:43 Best Of Older than me, he's like 25.

1:22:45 Drew Vampires live past 24.

1:22:48 Adam Well, they die, but they come back.

1:22:49 Drew That's the point.

1:22:50 Adam As the undead.

1:22:51 Drew Well, at 3,000 years. Oh, yeah.

1:22:54 Best Of Well, they started getting together. He started going down from where, you know, he lived to where she lived.

1:22:58 Adam What does he do for a living?

1:23:00 Best Of He works for US. He works for USA today.

1:23:03 Adam Nice.

1:23:04 Drew Doing what?

1:23:05 Adam Well, he's got a column, Cal Chocula's column.

1:23:08 Best Of Editor. He's really, they're into a whole dominant thing, and it's getting to where he's making her abuse herself and he's getting really abusive towards her.

1:23:21 Adam How do you know about this, Jessi?

1:23:23 Best Of She calls me and she tells me, and I don't know what to tell.

1:23:26 Drew Does she want out?

1:23:26 Adam She tells you the intimate details of their sexual life?

1:23:30 Drew Yes. Does she want out?

1:23:32 Best Of You know, she calls me and she tells me about it, but she says she loves him.

1:23:37 Drew Does she want out?

1:23:38 Best Of He's just like, I don't know if she wants out.

1:23:40 Drew Okay. Well, you know what?

1:23:42 Adam What does he have her do?

1:23:45 Best Of Well, okay. When I went down there, he would make her go into the bedroom and like abuse herself.

1:23:52 Drew What does that mean?

1:23:52 Best Of Like hit herself and cut herself.

1:23:55 Adam I thought you meant like watch UPN or something. You mean she has to cut and smack herself?

1:24:01 Best Of Yeah. And just like do and say horrible things to herself. He's actually like made her write fantasies about me and her together with him and like her and my mother together.

1:24:12 Drew Come on. This is an awful sick, disturbing, violent, vile situation.

1:24:18 Best Of Yeah.

1:24:18 Drew So get yourself out of it. Set some limits with her.

1:24:23 Caller I don't know how to do that.

1:24:25 Drew Well, don't participate in this. Listen, she's a grown up. She can do what she wants, but you should not participate.

1:24:30 Best Of But I'm afraid she's going to feel bad because she was adopted and we like.

1:24:34 Drew Well, you know what?

1:24:35 Adam How old was she when she was adopted?

1:24:37 Caller She was four, about four.

1:24:39 Adam No, Drew, everybody. Four, yeah. That is a mess. Because God knows what she got pulled out of.

1:24:48 Caller Yeah.

1:24:50 Adam I'm guessing.

1:24:50 Best Of Well, she came from a good family.

1:24:51 Adam No way.

1:24:53 Drew A good family is a four-year-old.

1:24:55 Adam What good family throws out a four-year-old?

1:24:57 Best Of Well, my mother didn't throw her out. My mother was 16. Well, my mother had her when she was 13.

1:25:04 Drew Mother had her when she was 13?

1:25:07 Adam Hold on. Didn't we adopt her?

1:25:09 Best Of No, we didn't adopt her. We just found her. She was adopted out.

1:25:13 Drew Amy just recently came around to finding her again.

1:25:15 Best Of Yeah.

1:25:16 Drew She was adopted out to another family when your mom was 13.

1:25:19 Best Of No, when my mother was 16. But my mother-

1:25:21 Adam Your mom kept her for a few years.

1:25:23 Drew Then let her go, oh, that is bad news when that happens to kids.

1:25:28 Adam Something's, what's up with your mom?

1:25:31 Best Of My mom is-

1:25:32 Adam I know she was young, but still that's screwing.

1:25:34 Best Of My father was a birth kid when she was 12 and her second was when she was 13.

1:25:37 Caller No.

1:25:37 Drew Oh my God, Jesse.

1:25:38 Best Of She ran, she was just, you know, she was on heroin for 20 something years.

1:25:42 Adam All right, but a good family.

1:25:44 Drew Yeah, great family.

1:25:45 Adam Oh baby. Why aren't you in worse shape?

1:25:49 Best Of Well, there's a second question.

1:25:50 Drew Well, no, no, she's like so codependent. Yeah, so codependent. She can't even tell your sister, hey, cut that crap out. Get out of here and I won't have anything to do with this.

1:25:59 Best Of Well, I'm afraid that she'll feel abandoned.

1:26:01 Drew Listen, Jesse, that's what codependency is. I'm afraid if I don't rescue her, she'll die.

1:26:07 Best Of Well, because I know how it is.

1:26:08 Drew And you know what? You keep them sick. You keep them sick and then they do die. What you gotta do is wake them up and create a loss that perhaps makes them acknowledge the reality of what they're doing.

1:26:20 Adam Hey, your mom had a kid at 12 and 13?

1:26:22 Best Of Yeah.

1:26:23 Adam All right, she's a disaster. God, what's she doing now?

1:26:28 Best Of Now she has 11-year-old daughter and she's actually getting married tomorrow for like the 7th time.

1:26:35 Adam How many kids does that bitch have?

1:26:38 Best Of My mom has 8 kids.

1:26:39 Drew Oh, my God.

1:26:40 Adam Somebody should have sterilized her years ago. Oh, my God, she's like polluting the planet.

1:26:47 Drew What happened to the baby that she had when she was 12?

1:26:50 Best Of That went to the same family my sister went to.

1:26:53 Drew And what happened to that baby?

1:26:55 Best Of We don't know. She doesn't want anything to do with my mother or, you know, any of the other things.

1:27:00 Adam Your mom's not her mom. She's just this biological factory that spits out kids and then she hands them out.

1:27:06 Best Of Yeah, well, her mother did the same thing.

1:27:08 Adam Of course. Someone, I, you know, don't take this the wrong way, but someone should have killed your family off a long time ago. And I mean that with utmost respect. I really do.

1:27:20 Drew And caring.

1:27:21 Adam I hope you're taking that in the context in which it's meant. But somebody should have snuffed them out when they got off the Mayflower. Jesus Christ. All right, baby, don't. Do you have kids? No. Oh, thank God. You're lesbian.

1:27:34 Caller I actually.

1:27:35 Adam Something wrong with your tubes? No. What's wrong with you?

1:27:38 Best Of No, I just I'm not ready for.

1:27:41 Adam Yes. That's right. Good, baby. Yes.

1:27:45 Drew Set some limits with your sister. Come on.

1:27:47 Adam Oh, my God. I'd love to see some sort of some sort of chart to see where it's been. What mom has done and what mom has cost me, by the way. Crank it. Listen, let's let's all live in a society, by the way, that when a kid has a kid at 12, that somebody gets on her makes it their job to make sure that this kid ain't pregnant at 13, 14, 15, 8, God damn kids. Oh, my God. All right. Stay away from this this girl. Tell her what you think and then stay away.

1:28:22 Caller Yes.

1:28:22 Drew Steve is 17.

1:28:24 Caller How's it going?

1:28:25 Adam Turn the radio down, please, Steve.

1:28:26 Caller Okay.

1:28:28 Drew What's going on?

1:28:28 Caller I have a question. My girlfriend has hemorrhoids.

1:28:31 Drew Yeah?

1:28:32 Caller And we've had plenty of sex before, but like now I don't know where they came from. She just...

1:28:38 Adam I'm guessing her ass, but...

1:28:40 Caller She's grown up. Yeah, I know. Well, we have sex, but like we're really concerned about her getting pregnant and like my parents don't... They're really against me having sex and I really... Like we're trying to keep it secret from them. And we...

1:28:54 Adam All right, Steve?

1:28:55 Caller Yes.

1:28:55 Adam I can't get over the commotion in the background. What is going on back there?

1:28:59 Caller There's nothing in the background.

1:29:00 Drew Who's yelling, Louis?

1:29:01 Adam Nothing going on in the background?

1:29:02 Drew No, no, no. Steve, I want to ask you a question. Interesting.

1:29:06 Adam I'm hanging up on you.

1:29:07 Drew Ask the question quick.

1:29:08 Caller Yes.

1:29:08 Drew What's your question?

1:29:10 Caller My question is, my girlfriend had hemorrhoids. I want to know if we have sex, is there somehow a way I can get them from her if we have unprotected sex?

1:29:18 Drew So if you have anal intercourse with her, are you going to catch hemorrhoids?

1:29:22 Caller She told me she had yeast infection before, and her boyfriend got it.

1:29:26 Adam Well, hold on. Hold on. I'm going insane. What is going on in the background?

1:29:31 Caller Nothing's in the background.

1:29:32 Adam Is something TV or TV?

1:29:35 Caller Well, the TV is on the other room.

1:29:39 Adam Listen, when I can clearly hear other voices shouting in the back and Starsky and Hutch playing in the background, and I keep asking you what it is, and you continue to ignore it, I will hang up on your squirrely ass.

1:29:52 Drew All right. Let's answer his squirrely ass about his girlfriend's ass. There's true comedy in the question there, which is are you going to catch hemorrhoids by having anal sex?

1:30:02 Adam It is an unequivocal yes.

1:30:04 Drew That is the can you get pregnant from anal sex question. I mean that is bizarre.

1:30:09 Adam Well listen, Steve ain't what you call a big thinker.

1:30:12 Drew Or a bright bulb. No, he's not the best one in the pack. But Steve, no, hemorrhoids are not something you catch. Those are things that develop.

1:30:19 Adam I didn't even know if he was talking about anal sex, by the way. Listen, if he was talking about anal sex, I'll go along with him on that one.

1:30:26 Drew You put your penis in an anus and you get hemorrhoids in your rear?

1:30:29 Adam You have something that apparently is growing out of your partner's anus and you dip your wick into that, which is brew, and maybe something sticks on the way out. That's all I'm saying.

1:30:42 Drew You know what?

1:30:42 Adam You pick up a hitchhiker.

1:30:44 Drew We need to resurrect health classes and just basic, basic, basic biology.

1:30:48 Adam All right, but Drew, you talk to these people all night. They don't hear a goddamn word you say. Do you think it's the teacher's fault? Or are they just sitting there talking to cinder blocks?

1:30:59 Caller Okay.

1:31:01 Adam Are we done insulting our audience? Can we take a break?

1:31:03 Drew Yeah, it's a good time.

1:31:04 Adam We'll be back. Well, there you go, another fabulous...

1:31:16 Drew Mercy me.

1:31:17 Adam Mercy me. Drew is done for the night, everybody.

1:31:20 Drew Done and done.

1:31:21 Adam Thanks for making him feel better, everybody.

1:31:23 Drew Going to LSU tomorrow.

1:31:24 Adam Good times.

1:31:25 Drew Tigers.

1:31:26 Adam I want to thank Lauren for doing a great job all week on the phones, the coffee and everything else. I want to thank Sarah for stepping in, doing a nice job, phone screen of Sarah. Producer Ann for putting her feminine stink on the show and the man who slides those potentiometers and almost never, I'd say less than 65% of the time. Does he ever screw up the mic cords, everybody? Producer, engineer Anderson, everybody. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:31:57 Caller My scrotum looks like a bald man's head with too much sun.

1:32:04 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, July 24, 2001