Episode 1000754886790

0:55 Voiceover For an adult audience, Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Voiceover Tip, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That's my friend, partner, and sometimes a lover. Dr. Drew over there. Not lately. No, no, no. He's been on this period. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Rob Schneider will be in here tomorrow night. You know, Rob, from all his years on SNL and the new movie, Animal, The Animal.

1:44 Drew Just Animal, I think.

1:45 Adam All right. That is coming out, I'm guessing, this Friday. So Rob will be in here tomorrow and it'll be good to see him because we haven't seen him in a while. And tonight we will take a whole s-load of phone calls. Tenille?

1:57 Hi.

1:58 Adam Hey, you're 25. What's up?

2:00 Caller Well, I took the morning after pill yesterday. I took the first cycle at 10 a.m. and the second cycle at 10 p.m. And then this evening around 6 o'clock, I started having this really horrible pain above my left hip and then all of a sudden I started having really severe cramping. I'm not bleeding or anything, but it's worse than any pain that I've ever had with menstrual cramps.

2:22 Drew Interesting. Have you been nauseated or anything?

2:25 Caller No, not at all. No stomach cramps, no nothing.

2:28 Drew Were you on the pill recently?

2:30 Caller No, uh-uh.

2:30 Drew Have you ever had a birth control pill before?

2:33 Caller When I was a teenager.

2:34 Drew And nothing like this happened then?

2:36 Caller No, no problems at all. I used to have really severe cramping between the time that I had my first child and my second child and I had my second child eight months ago.

2:45 Drew Did the cramping feel like this?

2:48 Caller Yeah.

2:48 Drew Okay. And when did your period do?

2:51 Caller Not for another two weeks.

2:53 Adam What's up with the birth control?

2:56 Caller Married and had an accident.

2:58 Drew Married and had an accident?

3:00 Caller Yeah.

3:00 Drew Good. And she had the fire extinguisher later on.

3:02 Adam That's right. Do you guys use condoms?

3:06 Caller Yes.

3:07 Adam Why don't you get on the pill?

3:09 Caller I take a medication called Tegretol. It's an anticonvulsant and typically they put me on really high levels of birth control pills and even then it's not guaranteed by any large percentage to work because the Tegretol counteracts the birth control.

3:24 Adam So does the morning after pill work with the Tegretol?

3:26 Caller I have no idea but it should.

3:29 Drew It should.

3:29 Adam Why would it work if the birth control is not working?

3:32 Drew Well, again, birth control pill is supposed to be close to 100% effective. Probably knocking down around 95% with the Tegretol.

3:39 Caller And I had preeclampsia this last time. I was in the hospital for three weeks and almost died with my second child. She was nine weeks early and was in NICU for five weeks. So I'm really concerned about having another baby.

3:50 Drew Sure. I just think you're going to have a little mid-cycle bleeding here. And that's probably what the cramping is all about. I wouldn't worry about it.

3:55 Caller You think it could just... So I shouldn't be worried about going to the doctor?

3:57 Drew Well, the one thing, if... I guess if you get bleeding... God, it's kind of a tricky question. Because the one thing this could be is an ectopic pregnancy. And the morning after pill wouldn't really do anything to affect or change or prevent an ectopic pregnancy.

4:13 Adam Yeah, but that's when the baby gets lodged in the tube or something.

4:17 Drew Right, and if she had already ovulated...

4:19 Adam She just had the sex a couple days ago.

4:22 Drew That's what I'm going through in my head, is whether that's even possibly the case. Let's see if she bleeds tomorrow. Should she be worried about that?

4:27 Adam You know, she's a 25-year-old woman. You know what I was thinking? You know how I always talk about what trouble the vagina is?

4:33 Drew Oh, yeah.

4:34 Adam I think the equivalent on a male, on a 25-year-old male, it'd be like having an 80-year-old man's knee.

4:44 Drew Yeah, a paraplegia.

4:46 Adam No, just a part, one part from an old person that needed constant upkeep. Because, you know what I mean? It's like you have a very, you know, the female body, not that much different than the male body, everything's fine, and then there's that one part, constant attention. It would be like you having, like the elbow and hand of an 85-year-old person.

5:10 Drew How about just give yourself an 80-year-old prostate? Now it's game on. They always say you don't want a female genital tract before the age of 15, you don't want a male after 50.

5:19 Adam Yeah.

5:20 Drew Got it?

5:21 Adam Right, that's why I'm going for the sex change at 50.

5:23 Drew Nice.

5:24 Adam Jessica?

5:25 Hello?

5:25 Adam You're 19?

5:26 Caller Yeah.

5:27 Adam What's up?

5:29 Caller Alex.

5:29 What?

5:30 Caller My husband's on the line too. We've been separated for a while, probably four months already. We've been having problems and they're just getting, I guess, worse.

5:42 Drew What's the nature of the problem?

5:44 Trust.

5:45 Caller Trust.

5:45 Adam I see. What's the husband's name?

5:49 Caller Alex.

5:50 Adam Alex.

5:50 Caller Yeah.

5:51 Drew Somebody cheated?

5:52 Caller She has, multiple times.

5:54 Drew Multiple times?

5:55 Caller No. This was before we were married, okay? And he cheated also.

6:00 Adam I see.

6:01 Caller Three years ago.

6:03 Drew Why is that all coming back now?

6:04 Caller No, because she just did it recently, like in August.

6:07 Adam I see. Stinking whore! Oh, please.

6:09 Caller And after we got married.

6:10 Caller Not even, okay? I didn't even, dude, I didn't even have sex with that, or I didn't even freaking kiss him, okay? It was-

6:15 Caller No, but still.

6:16 Caller It was nothing.

6:17 Adam It was some sort of thing on the computer or something?

6:19 Caller Phone.

6:20 Adam Phone. And what did you find out, Alex?

6:24 Caller Oh, I thought she was talking to another guy, and that was it. And she sorted me up and down. She wasn't, but she was. And what else am I supposed to- I mean, I questioned everything else.

6:32 Adam Yeah.

6:33 Drew I mean, the fact that she lied about that suddenly, everything-

6:35 Caller Yeah, exactly.

6:36 Adam Well, what was she doing on the phone with the guy?

6:39 She was just talking to the guy.

6:40 Caller I don't know.

6:41 Adam Well, who was the guy?

6:42 Caller I don't know. I don't know who it was. I never really found out. I mean, I'm not the one to get obsessed and look for the guy, you know?

6:48 Adam You got a little energy to you, though, Alex.

6:50 Caller What's that?

6:51 Drew Normal 19-year-old energy, though.

6:52 Adam Well, how old is Alex?

6:54 Caller 20.

6:55 Adam 20. All right. Oh, yeah. So, Jessica, who was the guy you were talking to?

7:01 Caller He was just somebody I met over the phone.

7:02 Drew You met over the phone?

7:03 Caller Yeah.

7:04 Drew What, a party line or something?

7:05 Caller Yeah, I was like a party line.

7:06 Caller He was looking for it.

7:07 Drew Why are you guys married?

7:09 Caller What?

7:09 Drew Why did you guys get married in the first place?

7:13 Caller Because I love him.

7:15 Adam You love him in the party line.

7:17 Drew Yeah, why don't you behave like you love him?

7:18 Caller But it wasn't like that. It was just me and my friend called one day. It was like nothing though. I wasn't looking for anyone or anything like that.

7:27 Adam Okay, but with your dicey past and Alex and his dicey past and all the trouble you guys have had, don't you think you should just stay away from things like that in general?

7:37 Caller Yeah, I mean, I totally regret it. I really do, but I don't think he would forgive me for that.

7:44 Adam Okay, well, let's forgive her, Alex, because it didn't really amount to anything. And as guys, we all know the proof is in the pudding. I mean, it's the bottom line.

7:52 Caller That's true, but I mean, what about, like, she's lied about that, what does...

7:55 Drew No, you're just, you know what she has?

7:59 Caller No, he thinks I do, but it's not even like that.

8:01 Caller You know what, because look at it, check it out.

8:03 Caller Because I go out with my friends, he thinks I'm doing something, and it's not even like...

8:06 Caller Until one o'clock in the morning, two o'clock in the morning?

8:07 Caller Oh my God, but I haven't seen my friends.

8:09 Adam All right, hold on one second, hold on, hold on. We're gonna put them both on hold for one second. Please listen, everyone, and understand why you do not get married at 19 or 20.

8:20 Drew There it is. There it was.

8:23 Adam You'd be having the same lame argument at age 20, wouldn't you, Drew?

8:27 Drew Yeah, I probably did with a girlfriend.

8:29 Adam That's right.

8:30 Drew Yeah.

8:30 Adam With yourself in the future on the phone or just... No, I see. Okay, I was confused for one second there. Alex, Jessica? Okay, let's just calm down for a second. Are there any children here? No. Okay, good. Okay, so here's your plan.

8:48 Drew The world is safe.

8:49 Adam Your plan is not to have any children for a little while, right? Until you guys get good with your relationship and then start working at the relationship just like it was anything else you wanted to be good at.

9:05 Drew Jessica, is Alex available in the way that you sort of need a husband to be available?

9:08 Caller No. Honestly, no.

9:09 Drew So that's sort of the reason why you're strained, huh? He doesn't meet your emotional needs?

9:15 Caller Huh?

9:15 Drew Is there something he could do to make you happier?

9:18 Caller More attention.

9:19 Adam Yeah.

9:20 Caller Live together, maybe?

9:21 Caller Yeah, we don't live together. We've been split up for four months.

9:24 Adam Really? Why?

9:25 Caller And it's just, I mean, I'm really getting tired of it, and I do understand, because I don't have a job, I understand that, but I don't want to just, I don't know, like, to get back together and things still be the same. I don't want that. I want things to change.

9:41 Caller No, I don't want that.

9:42 Caller We both, I guess we both don't want it.

9:44 Adam So you guys separated after you were married.

9:47 Caller Yeah.

9:48 Adam And you're now living on your own, or Jessica? I'm living on my own.

9:51 Caller She lives with her mom.

9:53 Drew Maybe you guys honestly ought to look at each other and say, maybe we're not up for a relationship now. We may not just be up for it. I mean, well, maybe, because both of you seem sort of okay with the fact that you don't want to be the way you were, and yet you don't know how to get from where you are to where you need to be. And that may just be ten years of maturity. It may just be living for a little while to get you guys to figure out how to be available, how to be a separate person in a relationship.

10:14 Adam Why don't you give them some ground rules and a book to read and we'll move on? Have you got anything? I mean, look, you two are both a pain in the ass. You both have energy, right? And when you two get together, you got two pains in the ass under the same roof and there's going to be trouble. And both of you are going to have to work real hard on yourselves. Right now, you're both working on each other and each other doesn't really like each one of you working on them. You just work on yourself. Alex, you'd be a better husband. Jessica, you'd be a better wife.

10:48 Drew Or not. Or not.

10:51 Adam But if you want the relationship, then work at it.

10:54 Drew Yeah, it's very simple.

10:56 Adam And I'm with them staying separated for a little while until they get their ass together and definitely no kids.

11:01 Drew Oh, yeah.

11:04 Adam Keddie? Keddie. All right, Keddie. You're 22. What's up?

11:09 Caller Well, I mean, I've checked out a couple of websites about like a penis enlargement pump and I know how it works. But I was just kind of wondering. They don't say anything about maybe the long term effect. If there's something negative, that could be a long term effect.

11:23 Drew Not that I've heard of.

11:25 Adam What's wrong with your penis?

11:27 Caller Well, I mean, I think it's OK. But you know, I'd kind of like to have something like, you know, Peter North had slapping around, you know.

11:34 Adam I see. True. You know, Peter North?

11:36 Drew No.

11:36 Adam The Decorator.

11:37 Drew I see.

11:38 Adam Yeah. Porn Star.

11:39 Drew He's a cake maker. Oh, Porn Star.

11:41 Adam I see. Yes. How big is your penis now?

11:46 Caller Six and a half inches.

11:47 Adam Oh, no. Wait a minute. That's bigger than average. You're fine.

11:51 Caller Yeah, but I don't think I'm ready to...

11:54 Drew What's wrong with your self-esteem that you've got to inflate your penis instead of working on your self-esteem?

12:02 Caller Well, some problems. I'm not really sure what I should do about it.

12:07 Drew What are the problems?

12:09 Caller Well, I just don't really approach women that much.

12:13 Drew What do you do for a living?

12:15 Caller If I said, well, I just got out of college, but if I said what I did, I mean everyone would know who I was that was listening.

12:23 Drew What kind of thing do you do?

12:24 Adam He's the town candlestick maker.

12:28 Caller I work in criminal justice.

12:30 Drew All right. So maybe you feel good about your job?

12:35 Caller It's a tough job, but yeah, I do it pretty well. I feel good about the work that I do and the effort.

12:40 Drew Why can't you meet women?

12:42 Caller Well, I don't work anywhere around women, but I mean, I don't like bars and I don't like to go out.

12:47 Drew Do you have friends that can introduce you to people?

12:50 Caller I'm sorry?

12:50 Drew You have friends that can introduce you to people?

12:52 Caller No, they're worse than me.

12:54 Drew Your friends?

12:55 Adam What do you like besides bringing down perps?

13:00 Drew I realize the size of your penis is going to do nothing, nothing for you.

13:04 Adam No, because listen, hold on. I would be all for enlarging the penis if women knew what size your penis was before they met you.

13:15 Drew Or if there was a direct relationship between size and desire, or enjoyment. There's nothing like that.

13:21 Adam But it's even further away because you're naked on top of them by the time they know what hit them.

13:28 Caller Yeah.

13:28 Adam Alright, so don't focus on that. Figure out whatever it is you like to do, and do it, and meet people that way. I know it sounds trite, but that's about your only shot.

13:37 Caller I do have another question that's a little more intelligent.

13:39 Drew Alright, good.

13:40 Caller I was kind of wondering about what age are you most prone to be socialized sexually, in which, you know, because I watched pornography maybe when I was about 11 and 12 years old, and I saw some things I would rather have never seen.

13:55 Drew Like what?

13:56 Caller Well, I mean, like anal sex performed. I don't want to ever disrespect a girl by doing that, but, you know, someone that I really care about, I wouldn't want to ask her to do that. And I kind of I am somewhat attracted to it. And I was just kind of wondering.

14:15 Adam All right, listen, Kenny, stop thinking so much. Just go out and live your life. Join a gym and go rollerblading, go to the park, go hang out at a Starbucks. Stop creeping everyone out and thinking everyone. She's I don't know what it is with young guys, but the more thinking you do, the less a poon tang you get. There's a direct correlation there. And he's just thinking himself into a corner.

14:43 Drew He's got a creepy vibe about him.

14:46 Adam Oh, yes. And let me tell you, boys, women pick up on that creep vibe.

14:51 Drew It's kind of desperation mixed with in this lack of experience.

14:56 Adam Let me mix with I'm going to duct tape your mouth and throw you in the trunk of my car and take you out to the woods and dismember.

15:03 Drew Yeah, that business about I would never want to soil a lady yet. I kind of very appealing.

15:09 Adam Yeah.

15:11 Drew Here's the my penis be extra large at the time, which would perpetrate that. Oh, my God.

15:18 Adam The thing about women I found is they don't smell the BS gene that much. No, they don't smell BS on a guy.

15:25 Drew They kind of attracted to BS.

15:27 Adam Yes. Ladies, you like BS. You'll never admit it, because you don't know when a guy is BSing. We know the BS guys. A lot of attitude, hair all. Any guy who screws with his hair too much or wears too much jewelry.

15:41 Drew Any guy who can pull off the romantic piece too smoothly.

15:45 Adam Or just a serious attitude thing.

15:48 Drew That's the obvious one.

15:50 Adam But women buy into the BS, but the creepy thing, that they see.

15:56 Drew Creep, desperation, lack of experience.

15:58 Adam That's what Teddy's got in spades. Sam?

16:02 Hello?

16:03 Adam You're 24. What's up?

16:05 Caller Well, me and my girlfriend were having sex, and she wanted to use a strap-on on me, and her sister had one, so she went and got it.

16:22 Drew Just stop right there for a second.

16:23 Caller Okay.

16:24 Drew Adam, isn't that part of the story kind of amusing? Hey, Susie.

16:28 Adam I'm guessing she didn't ask. I'm guessing she just knew where it was hidden.

16:33 Drew Hey, I got an idea. Let's use Susie's.

16:36 Adam Well, some families are poor, and they don't have more than one strap-on.

16:39 Drew Okay.

16:40 Adam We had one car, one bathroom.

16:42 Drew One strap-on.

16:43 Adam One strap-on.

16:43 Drew I understand.

16:44 Adam Times were tight.

16:45 Caller Well, all she had was a vibrator. Anyway, so she went and got it, and afterwards, the last, I would say, two weeks, I've kind of been, like, itchy there. Where?

17:00 Adam Okay, well, wait a minute. Hold on. Did she have the strap-on, or was it just a...?

17:04 Caller Yeah, she went and got it.

17:05 Drew No, no.

17:06 Adam All the sister had was a vibrator.

17:09 Drew No, all this girl had was a vibrator.

17:10 Caller She had one.

17:11 Adam Yes, all...

17:11 Drew The sister had one...

17:12 Adam .of the owner of the strap-on is what I meant.

17:15 Caller Yeah.

17:16 Adam Okay.

17:17 Caller Anyway, ever since then, What is your question?

17:21 Drew I got the... We got the itchy piece.

17:23 Adam What did she do with the strap-on when you were done with it? Put it back?

17:27 Caller Yeah, she washed it off and put it back.

17:30 Drew With a little letter. Thank you.

17:32 Adam A rose. Is she still living at home?

17:35 Caller No.

17:36 Adam All right. Does she live with her sister?

17:38 Caller Yeah.

17:39 Drew Okay.

17:40 Adam Those two need to be separated.

17:41 Drew Yes. How old is the sister?

17:43 Caller Um, slightly older.

17:45 Adam Okay.

17:46 Drew Way, way older than we said?

17:47 Adam Slightly.

17:47 Caller No, like five years.

17:49 Drew How old is your girlfriend?

17:50 Caller Um, she's twenty.

17:55 Adam So now you itch in the butt area?

17:58 Caller Yeah. And so what I was asking is like, do you think that I like caught something here or what?

18:05 Drew Is that an activity you've engaged in in the past? This is the first time you've sort of experienced the...

18:09 Caller Um, this is the first time that I've experienced...

18:11 Drew Is your girlfriend into this stuff?

18:14 Caller Yeah, dude.

18:15 Adam Apparently runs in the family. And God knows where that thing was parked before it got to your ass. Probably the sister's boyfriend's ass.

18:23 Caller Exactly. That's totally where she got the idea.

18:26 Adam Okay. And no qualms about forcing something up your rectum that was up some other guy's ass just moments earlier?

18:33 Caller I was in the reasoning and all that out.

18:35 Adam Okay. Well, forget about reasoning. How about cleaning?

18:39 Drew Yeah, I'm less...

18:39 Adam I mean, did you give it a good wiping down before it went up in there?

18:45 Drew Well, no, actually, I'm less concerned about a venereal disease because that's not likely...

18:49 Adam It wouldn't live on it, right?

18:51 Drew However...

18:51 Adam It wouldn't?

18:52 Drew Okay. No, no, no. Wait a minute. The traditional sort of classical venereal diseases. However, hepatitis C and HIV require very special cleansing solutions like glutaraldehyde or they stay on there.

19:07 Adam They're not going to stay there and stay alive. Oh, please. For how long?

19:10 Drew Listen, like when people use those endoscopes and things, they have to be very specially cleaned, even though they may not be used for a week later.

19:16 Adam They overdo it. But if this thing's dry and it's sitting in a closet and a hamper up in some shelf somewhere, it's not going to hamper that.

19:23 Drew But the point is, I think you've got something called pruritus anii, and it's probably just a hemorrhoid, that kind of thing, and it's just irritation. You get some anusalt cream over the counter and that's that.

19:33 Adam Did she use a lot of lube?

19:35 Caller Yeah.

19:36 Adam Did she borrow some of her sister's lube or did she use her own?

19:39 Caller Her own.

19:40 Drew Oh, my God. I can't even fathom.

19:42 Adam Sam, please do not have children. Okay.

19:47 Caller Okay.

19:48 Adam All right. And for Hanukkah, see if you can get a nice strap on for yourself. Okay, buddy.

19:55 Caller All right.

19:55 Adam Good times.

19:56 Drew Oh, my God. His mom.

19:58 Adam I think he was serious too.

19:59 Drew Yeah, I know.

20:00 Adam Justin? Yeah. You're 17?

20:02 Caller Yeah.

20:03 Adam What's up?

20:04 Caller Me and my friends pulled a prank on this guy, one of our friends. We put an orthotrysolican cycling pill in his drink, and we haven't talked to him in like a week, so we don't know if he's okay or not.

20:17 Drew Just think, is there a female on Earth that pulls this kind of JO stuff on their friends?

20:22 Adam Putting birth control?

20:24 Drew Or whatever. Although that last caller's girlfriend probably had a little bit of that spirit in her, I must admit.

20:30 Adam Yeah.

20:31 Drew One with the sort of saucy sister.

20:34 Adam Women don't have the jack-off gene. They have the stab in the back gene, but not the jack-off gene.

20:39 Caller Yeah.

20:39 Adam All right.

20:41 Drew He got a little nauseated, but that's about it.

20:43 Adam He's fine.

20:44 Drew Single pill?

20:45 Caller Yeah, I think so.

20:46 Adam You got to up the dose next time.

20:48 Caller It's a blue one.

20:48 Drew He probably vomited and forgot about it, didn't know anything about it. All right?

20:53 Caller Yep.

20:53 Adam All right, Justin.

20:54 Caller Thanks. Hey, Adam, you're awesome, dude.

20:56 Adam Thanks.

20:57 Caller Man show's awesome.

20:58 Drew Where in the part of Texas are you calling from?

21:00 Caller Huh?

21:00 Drew Where in the part of Texas are you calling from?

21:02 Caller Dallas.

21:03 Adam Good times. Drew, why are you out thumping your chest? Really?

21:07 Drew I get palpitations as well.

21:08 Adam You do? What is thumping your rib cage to?

21:11 Drew Makes it stop.

21:12 Adam It does?

21:13 Yeah.

21:14 Adam Just because you know you're doing it?

21:15 Drew No, I wasn't even aware I was doing it. If we hadn't brought to my attention, I wouldn't have.

21:19 Adam What happens? What's a palpitation? Your heart gets going?

21:21 Drew I get extra beats, yeah. Hmm.

21:23 Adam You anxious?

21:24 Drew No.

21:24 Adam Horny?

21:25 Drew Coffee.

21:25 Adam Dry mouth?

21:26 Drew Yeah.

21:27 Adam All right.

21:27 Drew Drop your pants.

21:28 Adam Get in your underpants. I'll look at you in an hour. Lizzie?

21:33 Yes.

21:34 Adam You're 22. What's up?

21:36 Caller Yeah. I was raped, like, I guess, like, month, end of March, and I really haven't had any response to it. I haven't reacted to it. I'm not traumatized by it. Like, I went, like, two days after it happened, my parents kind of, my mom took me to, like, this spa in Arizona. I was there, like, she left. I was there by myself, like, she came and visited me sometimes, but like, for like a couple weeks, then my dad has, he does business in New York and he's got a condo there. Like, I was there and, like, my aunt took me shopping.

22:11 Adam All right. Well, hold on. I don't want to go through your entire day planner, but hold on. We get the picture. Everything, you didn't, you didn't...

22:19 Drew You just went on with it.

22:20 Adam You didn't freak out.

22:21 Caller Right. But so, like, I've been back in my regular routine now for, like, only, like, two weeks. And...

22:27 Adam Well, who raped you?

22:29 Caller I, it was Landon. I was jogging, and I was, it was random. Like, he jumped me.

22:34 Caller Wow.

22:35 Caller And it was, like, he pulled me into a parking garage that was under construction, and it happened to be part of the hospital, and security guards found me unconscious, and...

22:44 Adam Really? They, did they whack you in the head or something?

22:47 Caller I, I, when he threw me down, my head must have, because I had, I had to get stitches in my head and, like...

22:53 Drew So you weren't awake for the rape?

22:55 Caller Parts of it, I remember him rubbing, he had his hand, and I think, I don't know if it was because of my head or I blacked out because he had his hand like right at my neck to hold me down, like he was, I was flat on my back and he like was bracing himself like right at my neck with one hand.

23:12 Drew How long before you went unconscious after he attacked you?

23:15 Caller Oh God, I don't know. I think I remember him penetrating me.

23:20 Drew No, wait a minute. He attacked you and then quickly you were unconscious or did you admit?

23:24 Caller I was jogging. He like grabbed me like hand over my face and pulled me in and that's all kind of blurry and then I remember hitting the ground.

23:34 Drew So within a few seconds you were unconscious?

23:36 Caller No, probably minutes.

23:38 Drew Minutes.

23:39 Caller From where I was running and where I was found, it's not, I mean they weren't like close. It's like, I mean he had to drag me through like.

23:45 Drew Alright, hang on a second. I would think just that assault would be so traumatizing is to give you sort of a post-traumatic stress reaction, okay? Now the only way that I know that people, there's two ways that people sort of go on with things when traumatic, highly arousing, traumatizing experiences aren't sort of processed as something special is one, you're used to being traumatized.

24:07 Caller Oh God no.

24:08 Drew Okay. Or two, you're really, really suppressing it.

24:11 Adam Or three, they get into acting.

24:13 Drew Acting and show business, right? And this will come out, I mean there will be a reaction to this.

24:17 Caller Well that's what I'm afraid of.

24:18 Adam Alright, well you gotta get some help before it comes out and catches you off guard.

24:23 Caller My parents' attitude about this whole thing is I think like, you're okay.

24:27 Drew Well that's how they want to believe it is.

24:29 Caller And like, it's the same thing with my friends, like my mom has specifically said to me, like, oh, if, you know, they ask you how you're doing, like, just say you're fine. Cause I had to, I was supposed to graduate in May, at the beginning of this month.

24:42 Drew What school?

24:43 Caller I'm supposed to graduate, sorry, in June.

24:45 Drew What school?

24:46 Caller Northwestern. And I am not graduating because it happened over my spring break and I didn't go back for the last trimester. So I'm not graduating, so there's something to be explained, which I don't know what my parents told me.

24:59 Drew Well, look, look.

25:00 Caller I kind of live in this high society crap.

25:03 Drew Okay, but listen.

25:03 Caller Sorry, sorry.

25:04 Drew You need to get yourself a therapist. Relax. You're okay, you're normal. Thank God you come into this with an intact sort of psyche and you will get through this. But you need the opportunity to get through it. And everybody else doesn't want to feel the pain of acknowledging what you've been through. And that's fine, that's them. But you need an opportunity to have the feelings.

25:26 Caller Yeah, my parents, like I don't, how do I find or get into therapy without telling my parents, but like kind of do the preliminary work.

25:34 Drew But Northwestern has an elaborate student health system, why don't you take advantage of that?

25:38 Caller I haven't been like back there, I don't know.

25:39 Drew Well you're in Chicago now still, right?

25:41 Caller Well yeah, I'm north of Chicago, yeah.

25:45 Adam Go back there.

25:45 Drew Get back in and get involved regularly with some treatment. I'm sure there are rape support groups too. Get a group experience and an individual experience would be very, very helpful.

25:53 Adam All right. And you can be one of them.

25:55 Drew Sorry. Sorry she went through that. That's the real McCoy.

25:59 Adam Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I mean, you can be one of the few people in your rape support group who is bonafide, raped, I mean, jogging. Why is it everyone who was not raped by their boyfriend or that sort of date rape thing.

26:15 Drew Was raped in an urban park.

26:17 Adam Jogging.

26:17 Drew Jogging.

26:17 Adam Jogging.

26:18 Drew In Central Park or along the lake in Chicago.

26:20 Adam Yes. If I have a daughter, I will forbid her from jogging. I would tell her she can walk or she can sprint. Apparently if you're walking, you cannot be raped. And if you're at a full blown sprint, you can't be raped. It's the jogging that attracts a rapist.

26:36 Drew Interesting.

26:37 Adam I'm going to work on that, Terry. Thank you.

26:39 Drew Strong work.

26:40 Adam Thank you. We'll be back.

26:45 Um, back in a minute.

27:12 Adam Love Line, everybody. That's the radio show. There's Drew. I'm Adam. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Rob Schneider is going to be in here tomorrow night, promoting his new movie, I'm guessing. And let's get back to phones and speak to Ryan. Hello. Hey, Ryan, you're 14. What's up?

27:30 Drew Hey, Brian, hang on one second. You know, when Rob was last here last time, he said something that was rather striking. He said that he read our Relationships book. It was the best book he'd ever read on relationships. Remember that?

27:41 Adam No. No, now that you say it, it sounds sort of familiar. But no, I would never remember a compliment like that. I only remember bad things people say to me.

27:50 Drew Yeah, of course. All right, Ryan, go ahead.

27:52 Yeah.

27:52 Drew You're right. I shouldn't mention good things.

27:53 Well, this girl at school, I really like her. And she like considers me like her brother. And she's like, oh, Ryan, you're so sweet. You're so funny. Like, that means she like, doesn't think of me as like a guy. She doesn't like.

28:12 Drew Does she have boyfriends?

28:14 What?

28:14 Drew Does she see other guys?

28:16 Yeah, but not now.

28:17 Drew Why don't you ask her out?

28:20 I'm like scared.

28:22 Drew Well, then you're going to stay the brother. It ain't going to happen any other way.

28:28 Is there any way I can like change that before I have to ask her out?

28:33 Adam Your brother status?

28:34 Yeah.

28:35 Drew Now, this is an interesting male trait, isn't it?

28:38 Adam Yeah.

28:39 Drew Can we work on her? Can we tool her up in the shed somehow? You know what I mean?

28:44 Adam Yeah. Reprogram her.

28:46 Drew But all happens at sort of a fantasy level. It's like, well, magically, I'll sprinkle a few chants on her.

28:52 Adam Well, this is really the genesis of Spanish Fly.

28:56 Drew Yeah. This is the beginning of that.

28:57 Adam Can I sprinkle something into her drink or food that is going to make her like me?

29:02 Drew Yep.

29:03 Adam Or the guy's version of Love Potion. Make her horny.

29:06 Yeah.

29:07 Adam Ryan? Yeah. It's not going to work. How long have you known her?

29:11 Since, like, preschool. And now I just, like. Preschool. Yeah. And, like.

29:16 Drew Are you in a small school or something?

29:18 Pretty small. It's a private school.

29:20 Drew Yeah. See, I think there's a lot of mixing and matching in those little populations that stay together for many, many years. Yeah. I think he could just ask her out.

29:28 Adam She's your age? She's in your grade?

29:30 Yeah.

29:31 Adam What is that, eighth or ninth grade?

29:32 Yeah. Eighth.

29:33 Adam Eighth grade.

29:34 Yeah.

29:35 Adam Yeah.

29:35 Drew I remember this.

29:36 Adam Oh, man. I was paralyzed.

29:39 Drew Really, truly.

29:39 Adam I was so paralyzed.

29:41 Drew It's like, Ryan, I hate to say this, but at that stage of my life, it's like I didn't have, it's like I was a car trying to run without an engine. You know what I mean? I just didn't have anything going on that I could call upon.

29:52 Adam I had no engine. I had no tranny.

29:54 Drew No wheels.

29:55 Adam I had no rear end.

29:55 Drew I had no wheels.

29:56 Adam No wheels. No doors. No fenders. I was just a frame. Barely.

30:02 Yeah. I don't even know what's going on.

30:03 Adam Well, look, Ryan.

30:04 Drew It's normal, Ryan. Here's the good news.

30:06 Adam Here's what I'd like to do.

30:07 Drew You'll be a big star like Adam someday.

30:09 Adam I know it will. Well, let's not go overboard. I'm literally a millionaire, as you know, Drew. Ryan. Yeah. I'm going to try something on you and I hope it works. And if not for you, some other youngster listening. I give this speech about every three years. I think it's a high time I give it again. All right. I'm giving you oral sex start now. Ready? Now, and in Drew, I drew. You're a doctor. You're considered a genius by most, except for me, who really knows you. I want you to chime in if you find any fault.

30:45 Drew I know we're going that I already know where you're going.

30:47 Adam All right. You stop me if you hear anything you don't like.

30:50 Drew Okay.

30:50 Adam Anything that you can find fault with. All right.

30:53 Drew You won't yell at me.

30:53 Adam And I will not yell. All the things that you do in the 8th grade, the 9th grade, even all the way through high school, socially do not amount to a hill of beans outside of high school. Now if you kill somebody, if you get somebody pregnant, if you rape somebody, if you do something horrible to someone or let someone do something horrible to you, yes that counts. But all of the jockeying, all of the asking out, all of I think she likes me but I'm too scared to say anything, it registers as a zero in your adult life, a zero.

31:30 Drew Even though it is so powerful to you now, when you are able to step back and look at it, you'll think, oh, did I waste time and energy and why?

31:39 Adam It is like you seeing a giant inflatable wonder dog in a Macy's parade and being scared S-less of it at age three years old and then realizing it is just a bunch of fabric and air and some helium. Okay, Ryan, if you ask her out or don't ask her out or half ask her out, it will not make a difference in the next few months, few years or the rest of your life. However, if you spend too much of your life not asking people out, then you'll just be a pathetic male adult living in a one-bedroom apartment, using one of those plug-in stoves, one of those hot plates, heating cans of beans still in the can, George Foreman's grill, and eating it right out of it with a spork that you got from IHOP. But so you ask her out tomorrow. Do you hear me?

32:36 Drew Right. It is important.

32:37 Adam You ask her out. Quiet down, Drew. Quiet.

32:39 Drew I'm on a roll. He said no yelling.

32:41 Adam All right. I'm yelling at Ryan. You ask her out on a date tomorrow, OK, and you will thank us. And you know what? I'm going to I'm going to take it a step further. If you ask her out on a date tomorrow and she says no, you'll still be better off than where you are today.

32:59 Drew Yes. If she says you'll gain the skill.

33:02 Adam That's right. If she says absolutely not, I wouldn't do it in a million years. You will still be better off than you are today.

33:08 Drew And those are the two important three important things. The goals are you A to build some esteem, two, build some skill, social skills, and three, try to enjoy adolescence as much as it's humanly possible, which is not very much.

33:21 Adam Did I forget the part about drinking the sixer of Mickey's Big Mouth?

33:25 Drew No, you got that in there.

33:26 Adam Oh, okay. Because that's a very crucial element to this. Brad?

33:30 Caller Yes.

33:31 Adam You're 38?

33:32 Caller 38.

33:33 Adam What's up?

33:34 Caller I got a problem. I'm manic-depressive. I've got OCD and ADD. And my deal is, well, for the past six years now, I hold in my poop. I don't go to the bathroom. And I do it deliberately. And I've talked to my doctors about it.

33:58 Adam How many years has this been going on?

34:00 Caller About six, seven years now.

34:03 Drew No, he has pooed across that six years.

34:05 Adam I see.

34:06 Drew He's been withholding each of the, across those years. And what do you get out of it?

34:11 Adam How does that work?

34:11 Caller Yeah. Well, I eventually go after about six days.

34:17 Drew What do you accomplish by having to help? What do you get out of that?

34:20 Caller I don't know. I mean, I...

34:22 Drew Is there an experience, some feeling?

34:24 Adam A serious skid mark.

34:26 Caller That's what they ask me. I just say it's like a feeling almost. But I don't know why I do it. No one knows why.

34:31 Drew Well, it goes with, you know, that kind of thing goes along with OCD, right?

34:35 Adam Hang on a second, Brad. Ryan, young Ryan, I hope you're still listening. This is what happens when you don't ask girls out in junior high. You become the 38-year-old OCD guy who holds his own duke in. Now, you crap like once a week?

34:51 Caller Yeah.

34:51 Adam Do you eat normally?

34:53 Caller I eat normal.

34:54 Adam And, Drew, what can it do to you medically not to do this? Not to move those bowels on a regular basis? You always say that, and I hate that, because the only thing I do well medically is crap.

35:06 Drew But that's spiritual.

35:07 Adam That's my pride and joy.

35:08 Drew That's your spiritual connection, you understand?

35:10 Adam I'm amazingly regular.

35:12 Drew Yeah, I understand.

35:12 Adam And you say I get nothing out of that.

35:14 Drew Well, you get your esteem built. No.

35:17 Adam I know you crap every three days, and you have a jealous, vengeful ass, rectum. Thank you. Brad? Yeah? Your doctors have you on any medication?

35:28 Drew Oh, yeah.

35:31 Caller Not for that.

35:32 Drew For OCD, though.

35:33 Caller But I don't know. I mean, I, you know, when I have to go, I'll purposely sit in the chair and suck it up and hold it in, and I'll go in my pants sometimes, and...

35:44 Adam Yeah, very stubborn, yeah. Are you able to work?

35:50 Caller I'll work, but...

35:51 Adam Where do you work?

35:53 Caller A hotel.

35:54 Adam I see.

35:54 Caller Sometimes I'll, you know, I'll have to sit down and hold it in, and sometimes it'll get in my pants, and...

36:03 Adam Yeah.

36:03 Drew Well, I don't know the specific theories as to why these kinds of behaviors develop.

36:07 Adam Have you heard about this one?

36:08 Caller Yeah.

36:09 Drew There are people that retain stool. The kids do this.

36:12 Adam Isn't this a weird adolescent-type behavior?

36:15 Drew This is a... aside from being masochistic, it's sort of a developmental arrest symptom.

36:19 Adam Anything happen to you when you were little?

36:21 Caller Um, I had... I was... I wasn't raped or anything, but I had a sexual encounter with a 16-year-old when I was 13. He made me, you know, I can blow jobs and stuff like that.

36:40 Drew We would bet even more.

36:41 Adam Maybe something.

36:41 Drew Yeah, more went on.

36:42 Adam All right. So, hey, Brad. Yeah. You're 38. You're not even 40 yet. How about, you know, seeing about salvaging your life? I mean, take your medication. You know, you realize this, uh, bowel movement thing is, uh, a strange thing. How about just taking a dump when you got to take one? I mean, I know then you wouldn't... I don't want to. I know you don't want to, but I don't want to do anything. I still do something. I mean, I know, I can't talk crazy people out of being crazy. But Brad, you know you're a little crazy, right? And one of the things that makes you crazy is you take a crap once a week. How about engaging in some behaviors that sane people might partake in, like crapping?

37:28 Drew It's kind of like an eating disorder, you know, that you do get something out of this, albeit dysfunctional. And it's a natural function. It's something that needs structure to it, and it really requires you letting go of that control and going ahead and having whatever feelings you're containing by going through this or whatever sorts of arousal benefits you're getting out of it, and just going at the same time every day, sitting down and letting go, and being much more structured with it so you don't get into that sort of cycle of preoccupation and obsession.

37:56 Adam Hold on. I'm going to change Brad's life. Brad? Yeah? Why don't you get yourself one of those toilet seats that squirts in the ass like I got? You'll be begging to Duke.

38:04 Drew He'll never leave.

38:07 Adam You'll be camped on that toilet like Elvis. Listen, crazy guy. You take a couple of craps a week from being sane.

38:16 Drew It's like an eating disorder.

38:17 Adam Just do it.

38:17 Drew Eating disorder patients eat.

38:19 Adam Don't coddle it. Just do it.

38:20 Drew Eat very structured meals throughout the day.

38:22 Adam You've got to be structured with a toilet. Okay. Listen. Here's your tall order. Take a crap. How tall a order is that? Just do it, would you? I know you're nuts, but do it. Then you won't be nuts, because you'll be acting sane. That's my new thing now.

38:36 Drew You're going to give that lecture again tonight?

38:38 Adam I don't care how nuts all of you are. Just act sane, and you will not be nuts. You can be nuts inside, but you will not be nuts on the outside. We'll never know.

38:48 Drew You'll never know, and that's what's important.

38:49 Adam That's the important thing. All right, Drew, number two?

38:53 Drew Number one, let's go.

38:54 Adam What do you say? Is it a little homage to Brad? See if you can squeeze one off?

38:57 Drew Together?

38:57 Adam Yes, one cheek per seat.

39:00 Drew Let's go.

39:40 Adam Hey, hey, Loveline, everybody. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Rob Schneider will be in here tomorrow night. And let's talk to Bill, who has some advice for the pooper. Bill?

39:55 Yeah.

39:55 Adam You're 16?

39:56 Caller Yeah.

39:57 Adam You had a little poop problem in the past?

39:59 Caller Yeah, I did.

39:59 Adam That's good alliteration, Drew.

40:01 Caller What?

40:02 Drew Consonant, actually, isn't it?

40:03 Caller Yeah. I just like to let him know that if he's still listening that he should get some help with it because I had problems with it and I went to the doctor. They had to start using enemas and get me to drink mineral oil because if you hold it in for a long time and then you go and it hurts really bad and it stretches out your O-Ring.

40:23 Drew Your O-Ring?

40:24 Yeah. How long?

40:27 Adam Who produces that? Is that Morton Thiokol? And how long did you go when you're... Give me your best... Like how many days did you put together without a number two?

40:40 Caller I'd say at least three.

40:42 Drew Here's what I've seen is people that abuse laxatives. Events really can't go without the laxative and the bowel doesn't move normally and they can fill up so they haven't gone for days and days and days, maybe weeks sometimes. The whole thing becomes... I've even had a patient who had a colon removed.

41:00 Adam Bad times. But you say, and you've said this before, no healthier to go three times a day than someone who goes once every other day. No different.

41:13 Drew I mean there's no syndrome associated with that, no, other than discomfort from the bowel filling up. It's purely a sort of mechanical issue.

41:22 Adam And that area is meant to hold waste.

41:25 Drew Yes. It's all it does. Absorb water from waste. That's all it does. So the weird preoccupations of the colon are nothing but weird preoccupations. That is, their soul and their spiritual and their emotional worlds need to be examined, not their colons.

41:41 Adam Yeah. Nothing to do with plaque building up on your insides or anything like that.

41:46 Drew That is what I find so bizarre. We do colonoscopies where you look through people's colons with a scope. And before that, you make them squeaky clean. Because you have to be able to see every inch of the surface of their colon. You clean them out. They're not happy, healthy people. They're depleted because they've had diarrhea for two days and they have nothing in there.

42:03 Adam But dude, what about all those toxins that build up inside your colon? No? Just nonsense.

42:08 Drew In fact, when Jerry from Survivor was up here during one of the breaks she goes, I've never been so cleansed of toxins. She was malnourished. She would have had massive edema when she refed herself.

42:19 Adam Yeah.

42:21 Drew What is these toxins? What are these things? Just describe. I just want somebody to tell me one of them. What is the structure of one toxin? Please.

42:29 Adam You could have a nice bone-chilling talk with my screwball mom about the toxins building up in the blood system. Hey, I remember my mom used to talk about giving blood and getting lead out of your blood system by replacing. But hey, it makes sense. If you say, okay, you carry around seven pints of blood in you and you're living in a society where you're taking lead in via airborne particles or water or drinking, eating utensils or something, then you give some of that blood and you make new blood. You're not using the old blood. How much blood do you waste anyway if you're not bleeding?

43:07 Drew Do you waste?

43:08 Adam You still got the same blood in you?

43:09 Drew No, no, it turns over every 120 days.

43:12 Adam Oh, really?

43:12 Drew Yeah.

43:13 Adam So every four months it turns over? Your entire system? Seven pints? Is that what that is?

43:19 Drew Well, you're confusing the red blood cells with the fluid it flows in.

43:24 Adam Yeah.

43:24 Drew The red blood cells turn over every 120 days.

43:27 Adam Yeah, good times. Matt? Yeah? Does that all happen on one day or is it slowly?

43:33 Drew No, each day.

43:34 Adam I see. It's not like an oil change. Matt, you're 16. What's up?

43:39 Caller Well, happy late birthday, by the way, Adam.

43:42 Adam Thanks.

43:43 Drew By the way, my birthday present to Adam is not getting a birthday present.

43:46 Adam I didn't even know it is, by the way.

43:47 Drew No, no, but I just want to pay homage to our good friendship and the fact that I wouldn't dream of disturbing you with a gift. It's uncomfortable.

43:55 Adam Well, my family has joined you in your quest, by the way. You can get squat from any of those losers. Go ahead, man.

44:03 Caller All right. Well, I'm a long-time listener, first-time caller, and well, I love your guys' show, and man, the show rocks.

44:10 Adam Thanks.

44:10 Caller And okay. Well, my question is, I have one big question, one little question, but the big question is, I did, I found out, I guess, fairly recently that, well, my parents had been divorced for about three years, separated for four, that the girl or the woman my dad cheated on my mom with, which basically broke up the marriage, he got married to without telling me, and I had, he had dropped a couple, like, hints to me, like stuff like that, like, he wanted me to know, because, like, he, I'd be, like, talking to him, because I talked to him on a regular basis. He is, like, well, with my sister, and he has two kids from a previous marriage. I'm, like, basically the only one that calls him on a regular basis, and, you know, that he has a good relationship with. And he'd say, like, uh, yeah, I'll drop by with the check later, but my wife's kind of sick, I gotta go and...

45:01 Drew Why do you bother with him?

45:03 Adam He sounds like a delight, your father.

45:05 Caller Oh, he's a very, very dynamite individual.

45:08 Adam Yeah.

45:08 Caller I don't know, I really love my dad, and uh, the thing, I think the reason that I have a good relationship with him is because I don't really expect a lot out of him, because I know my dad's like not the world's greatest dad.

45:21 Drew Yeah, I mean, there's something to that, being realistic about who he is, which is a jerk.

45:27 Adam He may not be in the top... billion.

45:31 Caller Yeah, not two billion, I'd say.

45:33 Drew Well, so what's the question?

45:34 Caller Well, I want to confront him about it. About what?

45:36 Drew About his behavior?

45:38 Caller Well, I want to see if he's married, because, okay, well, I know...

45:42 Drew Whatever you do, Matt, do not expect it to be a gratifying experience.

45:45 Caller Oh, I'm not...

45:46 Drew Yeah. If you just want some information, you just want an explanation, you're gonna get a lot of BS, probably.

45:51 Caller That's why I haven't really asked it. And another thing is that one thing my dad hasn't told me is that, well, I'm 16, my sister's 14, but in between, like around 85, he got that woman pregnant and had a kid. I got a wedlock. And he lives with, he lives with, well, I guess his new wife now and that kid.

46:11 Adam Hold on. What's your dad? Is he an attorney or a car salesman?

46:15 Caller Even worse, he works at a recording studio.

46:18 Caller Oh, yeah.

46:19 Adam Yeah. All right. Hey, Matt, we gotta take a break.

46:23 Drew Go ahead, ask him, make it sure you understand it's a fact-finding mission, not gonna be an emotionally pleasing, gratifying experience.

46:29 Adam Don't expect much.

46:30 Drew Yeah, you have a realistic understanding of who your dad is. Don't expect much beyond that.

46:34 Adam And for a guy who came, sprang forth from the loins of an A-hole, Matt sounds like a decent guy.

46:40 Drew Yes. All right.

46:43 Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

47:23 Adam Hello, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Rod Schneider in here tomorrow night. Back to the phones we go. Becky?

47:36 Caller Hi, how you guys doing?

47:37 Adam Good, you're 15. What's up?

47:39 Caller I was recently, like, just a few months ago, put in two psycho hospitals for, like, the first time was the time to suicide, and the second time was, like, because I didn't want to take my medication.

47:51 Adam You're insane.

47:53 Caller Okay. And I, like, a month and a half ago, I stopped taking my medicine, and my parents don't know, and, like, I'm starting to feel, like, you know, the old things, I'm starting to cut myself again, and...

48:07 Drew Why don't you go ahead and get back on the medicine?

48:09 Caller Because I don't like the fact that I have to take medication to be normal.

48:12 Drew Well, you know, people don't like having any kind of illness. It's unfortunate when you have to deal with that. And people your age that are diabetics don't like having to take insulin to keep, stay alive. And very often they don't take their insulin. They have all kinds of awful consequences. But the fact is, you have this imbalance. You gotta take medicine. If you don't, you suffer. Why don't you take the medicine?

48:33 Caller Because, like, I know even if I tell my parents that I'm not taking it, like, they're going to make me go on it, but they're going to put me in a psycho hospital again.

48:41 Drew Yeah, so why don't you go ahead and just take it on your own?

48:44 Caller Right, and then it's going to take, like, another, like, four to six weeks or whatever to take it.

48:47 Drew Not necessarily. Sometimes you're going to kick in pretty quick.

48:50 Caller Yeah, like, I don't know. The first time it took, like, over two months.

48:53 Drew What are the medicines?

48:55 Caller Wellbutrin and Depakote.

48:57 Drew Depakote takes a while, oftentimes, but the Wellbutrin can be very fast-acting. So go ahead. Take your medicine.

49:03 Caller Thanks a lot.

49:04 Drew All right.

49:04 Adam All right. Make good times, right?

49:07 Caller All right. Thanks.

49:07 All right.

49:09 Adam Listen, everyone, take your medicine. Julie.

49:13 Caller Hi.

49:13 Adam You're 18. What's up?

49:15 Caller In my vagina, it feels like it's swollen and around my lip part.

49:20 Adam That's right.

49:21 Caller And I was wondering if that could be due to some sort of cancers or some sexually transmitted diseases.

49:26 Adam Most probably both.

49:28 Drew What? Were you recently sexually active?

49:31 Caller Yes.

49:32 Drew And you started having discomfort after that sexual activity?

49:35 Caller Well, it's not that I really feel it, like physically, like a pain or anything. It's just, if I was to feel up there, it feels swollen.

49:44 Drew Why don't you go have somebody take a look so we can figure out what's going on here?

49:47 Caller Okay.

49:47 Drew And you're sexually active, right? So you go ahead and get pelvic exams regularly?

49:51 Caller No, I don't.

49:52 Drew All right. So you got to do that.

49:54 Okay.

49:54 Drew Do you understand why that is?

49:55 Why?

49:56 Drew Because women who age get cervical cancer and regular pap smears prevent that from happening. And if you get cervical cancer, it's very deadly.

50:03 Okay.

50:04 Drew Okay. You can prevent that from happening. Swelling could be just a vaginitis. It could be just some irritation. It could be herpes. It could be other sexually transmitted diseases. But you are not going to find out what the heck that is unless you go in there and take a look.

50:16 Caller Okay.

50:17 Adam All right.

50:17 Caller Thank you.

50:18 Adam All right. Hey, good times. It works in almost every application.

50:25 Drew I like Aloha.

50:27 Adam Yeah. Mahalo, Aloha. Good times.

50:29 Mahalo.

50:32 Adam Well, no one does that Mahalo like Don Hoad.

50:34 Caller Uh-huh.

50:37 Drew Sounds like he swallowed you up.

50:39 Adam Yeah. It starts to say Mahalo and then he just someone steps on his stomach after that.

50:47 Drew So I just have an image of that.

50:48 Caller That's ridiculous.

50:50 Adam Michelle.

50:51 Yeah.

50:51 Adam You're 15.

50:53 Caller I'm 17.

50:54 Adam You're 17.

50:54 Caller Well, forget it.

50:56 Caller Sorry. I'm kind of nervous.

50:57 Adam All right.

50:58 Caller But, yeah, my ex-boyfriend is in prison. It's not really prison. It's like kiddie prison, you know, with doobie things, but he wrote me a letter a while ago and like a few weeks ago and I'm really scared. I don't know if I should write him back or not.

51:11 Drew You know.

51:12 Adam What did the letter say?

51:14 Caller It said he was sorry for everything he did to me because I went out with him when I was 14 and he was really abusive and everything. Like he used to hit me and stuff like that.

51:22 Drew OK. That's not going to change. Not without long, long periods of treatment.

51:27 Adam Well, what if he got a tattoo of Christ while he was in the pen?

51:30 Drew You think that would get closer?

51:33 Adam How old is he now?

51:35 Caller He's the same age as me.

51:36 Drew Why would you go back in with a guy that was abusive like that?

51:38 Caller Oh, I don't want to get back with him or anything like that. I just I don't know. He really wanted me to write him back in the letter. Please, please write me back.

51:44 Drew You're going to get sucked right on in, aren't you?

51:46 Caller That's what I'm scared of. Yeah, I don't want to like end up being with him again or anything like that.

51:51 Drew Yeah, well, you might as well stop now.

51:53 Adam How long is he in for?

51:55 Caller I think I said two years. I don't know what it's for though. He didn't say.

51:59 Drew So many things that people do that just happen start right here. You know what I mean? Yeah. You shouldn't be going out for the coffee. You shouldn't be responding to the letter. You shouldn't be alone in the bedroom together. It's a series of bad choices. She can make a good one right here right now.

52:17 Adam Well, and you know, I was thinking that too, which basically the way I was looking at it, I think this is probably restating what you were saying, which is at this point, all you have to do is not return the guy's letter and you're done.

52:31 Drew Yeah.

52:32 Adam This is tantamount to breaking it off with someone after one date, as opposed to being with them for a month and a half. Okay? I understand that. So just don't return this one and don't even write in one of those letters that says, I'm sorry. I know what you're going through. We can't be what we were.

52:51 Drew No content.

52:52 Adam I feel sorry for him. He'll not write you.

52:55 Caller Well, I'm just kind of, I don't know.

52:57 Drew All right, Michelle.

52:57 Caller Stop.

52:58 Drew Stop. Stop now.

53:00 Adam We're telling you to stop now.

53:02 Drew Stop it. Seriously. You're going to talk yourself into that letter.

53:06 Adam You're going to take a big step forward if you return that letter and it's going to be a real slippery slope, and you may just slide down the other side and never be able to grab a branch or anything to slow yourself down after this.

53:17 Drew That's fine. He was abusive. Put it down. Forget it.

53:20 Caller I don't want to regret not writing to him because I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.

53:25 Drew What?

53:25 Caller I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, and what happened with me and him is part of the reason I have it.

53:31 Drew Of course.

53:32 Caller I feel like I kind of need closure or something.

53:34 Drew The closure is you having the self-esteem to do something ritualistic with that letter and put it away forever.

53:41 Adam Let me tell you about closure and strength, everyone. It's about not doing anything sometimes. Not picking up the phone, not writing the letter, not throwing the rock, not ramming the car in front of you.

53:53 Drew Michelle's hell bent on getting back with him. That's what that is, Michelle. That's what that is.

53:57 Adam Yes. You can disguise it as closure, but that's BS.

54:00 Drew BS.

54:01 Adam Wow, Drew.

54:03 Drew I can't stand denial. It drives me insane.

54:06 Adam It really does, doesn't it?

54:07 Drew Yeah, it does. It's not good.

54:08 Adam Why? Is someone in your family steeped in denial? Most of them?

54:14 Drew Probably.

54:15 Adam Your whole family?

54:16 Drew No. I don't know what it is about denial. I don't like paranoia either.

54:20 Adam I don't like it either.

54:22 Drew You can't reason. You know what I mean? You can't find a place to connect when there's too much denial, or too much paranoia. It's too disconnected from reality.

54:34 Adam I don't like people that take care of themselves too much, or worry too much about themselves. Do you not like those people?

54:40 Caller Yes.

54:43 Adam I'm really the worst. Every time we do some nutty thing at the Man Show, and there's somebody going, well, now shouldn't we put down some grip tape, and put like, don't we need some extra lighting? Shut up. Just get in there. I was like, well, we need to get a stunt man or something. We can't have one of them. But now, just shoot them with the exploding dookie. He'll be fine. He should wear protective gown. Now, he'll be cool.

55:09 Drew What about the testicle outfit? That's going to get ruined.

55:12 Adam What do we got insurance for? He's fine. Katie?

55:15 Caller Hi.

55:15 Adam You're 15. What's up?

55:17 Caller Yeah. I haven't had my period in about eight months, and then I just started-

55:21 Adam You're fine. Quit complaining.

55:22 Caller Get back in there.

55:24 Caller I just started this afternoon, and I'm going through a tampon every half hour to an hour.

55:29 Drew Did they do something to start your period, like give you some medication?

55:31 Caller No.

55:32 Uh-uh.

55:33 Drew Have you seen a doctor about this?

55:34 Caller No.

55:34 Caller I just started this afternoon.

55:36 Drew You really should see someone. Not so much about the bleeding, but the degree of irregularity you're having. Are you overweight at all?

55:42 Um, a little bit.

55:45 Drew There's something called polycystic ovarian syndrome that actually is very important for you to know about if you have it, and it's associated with being a little overweight, a little resistant to the effects of insulin, so there's a chance of diabetes later on, and really irregular periods from multiple cysts, and it's worth knowing about. And there are other things that can cause this too that should be evaluated at your age.

56:02 Adam You know, it's funny about that when you ask someone if they're a little bit overweight, when they stutter for a few minutes, that's usually in the, it's 10, it's more than 10 pounds overweight, because it wouldn't count that 10, and less than 40, because they would just go ahead and say they were overweight. Yeah, that's the chick who's 5'8, and 165.

56:29 Drew Which is actually perfect for PCO, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, that's part of that, that's kind of described.

56:35 Adam So it's a good thing, right? No.

56:37 I'm kind of like chunky.

56:40 Chunky.

56:41 Caller I love that girl. Chuck?

56:44 Yeah.

56:44 Adam Chucky? You're 21, what's up?

56:48 Caller I just got back from a visit from back home in Illinois and I saw one of my old girlfriends and I haven't dated for three years now and I saw her again and I fell head over heels again for her and I'm here in California.

57:05 Caller I don't know what to do. Is she worth moving back for or what?

57:08 Drew Why'd you break up with her in the first place?

57:10 I went down to Florida for a few months and we just lost contact.

57:14 Drew Why wasn't it something worth maintaining contact for?

57:17 Caller I tried and she's just tough to get ahold of.

57:21 Drew Speaking of denial.

57:22 Adam Is she into you now? Well she broke up. He moved to Florida and she dumped it.

57:27 Drew Why now is it glorious and then it was that?

57:31 I think I'm older now. She's just good to talk to.

57:37 Caller We just hit it off for a while.

57:39 Adam What are you doing in San Diego?

57:41 Caller I'm trying to make some money and enjoying the sun.

57:44 Adam What's that? You had a tough time with the ladies in San Diego?

57:49 Caller Yeah. I've only been out here 8 months.

57:53 Adam No luck. If you met a chick in San Diego you were halfway into. You wouldn't even dream of moving back to Chicago. This is based on your desperation, not on how much she's blossomed. He's got the radio up so I'm going to hang up on him.

58:11 Drew Yeah, that's it. That's what I was getting at too. When he had a lot going on I was like, whatever, now he's alone, he feels uncomfortable. Whoa, this was fantastic.

58:20 Adam Well, it's amazing how good anything can look when you've been denied it for a long time. A corn dog can look like a pheasant under glass, if you haven't eaten in a long time.

58:35 Drew She's on a stick.

58:36 Adam But you know what I was thinking about? No, that is really good. You know what I was thinking about with Chuck? This would be a horrible thing to say. But you know what, Drew? We're too old to see girls we haven't seen in a while and see how they've blossomed. Do you know what I'm talking about? Guys, enjoy this because it doesn't happen when you get older. Drew, you're what? 43? 42? Right. You know, if you saw some chick you last saw when she was 23 and you see her now, it's like, oh, Christ, honey, what happened? Did she get run over? What happened? Is there some accident at the plant? What the hell happened? I mean, the best you can say at our age, and I know this sounds sexist and double standard and horrible, but the best you can say is, hey, holding up pretty good. She's, she don't look like crap. That is like, that is high praise. And you don't have that when you're 15, 16, 17, you're dating a girl and then you see her again at 21, 22, you're like, whoa, honey, you shed that weight.

59:37 Caller You're looking good.

59:39 Adam What happened?

59:39 Caller What did you do?

59:40 Adam Cut your hair or something? Oh, you got your teeth fixed. Yeah. But that don't happen later in life. So I'm just saying, enjoy it. Because when I see those girls I went to high school with now, I'm like, wow, I'm glad you didn't, you didn't have sex with me now.

59:57 Drew When did you see people from high school?

1:00:00 Adam Reunions.

1:00:01 Drew You went to a reunion?

1:00:03 Adam I've been to a reunion in.

1:00:05 Drew I would pay to be at one of your reunions.

1:00:07 Adam Oh, yeah. Do you want to go instead of me?

1:00:09 Drew Is there one coming up?

1:00:11 Adam Well, let's see. Yeah. Yeah, because I graduated 18. Yeah, I'm going to have a 20-year reunion in another like year and a half or two years, something like that.

1:00:23 Drew Oh, I had to witness the US.

1:00:27 Adam But let me tell you something, anyone who's going to attend the 1982 graduating class at North Hollywood High Reunion, I will be returning like MacArthur returned to the Philippines. You're going to walk right out of the ocean. I will pull up in a amphibious landing craft. I'm going to be wearing a cape and a crown. I'll have a orchestra playing as I enter. All will hail the king. See, my last reunion, I was still swinging a hammer, so it wasn't any fun. And my buddy Ray peed on me.

1:00:56 Drew Oh, well, that was all a good time. You know, just to relive the past, you know.

1:00:59 Sure. Why not?

1:01:00 Adam I'm wearing a blazer. We're in a Bonaventure hotel, and he takes a leak on me. Al? In high school.

1:01:06 Yeah, hello?

1:01:06 Adam You're 18. What's up?

1:01:08 Caller Yeah, like, I was at work the other day, and we were discussing, like, you know, stupid stuff. And all of a sudden, some guy told me that every, like, year, you should go get your, like, rectum cleaned out.

1:01:21 Drew Why, Al? Why? What would that do?

1:01:23 Caller I don't know. He just told me, like, dude, you should go do that, because it'll clean out your system.

1:01:28 Drew Clean out what? That is outside your body.

1:01:31 Adam You mean, like, an anema?

1:01:32 Caller Yeah, something like that. I don't know. He said that, like, the doctors would, like, go clean with the...

1:01:38 Drew No, no, Al, please, no.

1:01:40 Caller Like, to, like, not to get, like, infections or something. No, no. All right.

1:01:46 Adam Who do you work with? Who is this guy?

1:01:47 Caller I work in a kitchen. I work in the hospital, actually, in the hospital, in the kitchen. And, like, this guy was just, like, he said, no, some nurse told me this. And I'm like, are you serious? He's like, yeah.

1:01:56 Adam How bad is that hospital food?

1:01:58 Caller Oh, that's bad, dude.

1:02:00 Drew Oh, it ain't nothing compared to what it was in the 70s and 80s. Let me tell you something.

1:02:04 Caller Really?

1:02:05 Drew Yeah. Oh, no. Everything was hugely improved.

1:02:08 Adam Oh, yeah. Well, I don't know what food was like at your school, but you went to a decent school. Did they have decent school?

1:02:15 Drew On college?

1:02:16 Adam No, not in college, in like high school, junior high.

1:02:19 Drew No, no, their lunch truck.

1:02:21 Oh, their lunch truck?

1:02:22 Drew Yeah, same guy that go to your construction site.

1:02:24 Adam Still a step up from what you'd get over at the city school. Mary?

1:02:29 Caller Yeah, I'm here.

1:02:30 Adam You're 22?

1:02:31 Caller I'm 22. Well, I get sick all the time in the last six months. I've been sick about eight times.

1:02:41 Drew What do you mean sick?

1:02:42 Caller Just like having colds, like I have a cold right now. And I always get fevers. And I'm just wondering, you know, why? I mean, I get even nearer to someone that has a cold and then I get it. And, you know, I don't know if I'm anemic or I don't know.

1:03:00 Drew Do you have any medical problems that would put you at risk for infection?

1:03:05 Caller Well, I'm bulimic.

1:03:07 Adam Oh, by the way.

1:03:09 Drew Yeah, of course. That's a terrible stress to your system. And it makes it difficult for your immune system to function. So naturally enough, you come in contact with an infection, you're going to get it. And you'll have more complications from the infections, too.

1:03:23 Caller What can I do about it?

1:03:24 Drew You can get your bulimia treated.

1:03:27 Caller Okay. Anything else?

1:03:30 Drew Wait. Stop for a second. Put her on hold, please. Just for a second. Please. Please. Let's talk about it. Why? That's the reaction that really pisses me off. Why does it? And that's the denial piece that really I get so frustrated with.

1:03:42 Adam Yeah.

1:03:42 Drew What is that?

1:03:44 Adam I don't know.

1:03:44 Drew You don't care.

1:03:46 Adam Oh, I care, but I just don't care to care.

1:03:49 Drew I care because that's the part that prevents her from getting well. It's like, go at my chronic disease. I mean, why would I do that?

1:03:59 Adam Okay. Well, let me yell at her. What is she lying for? Hey, Mary? Yeah? You need to handle your bulimia and then worry about all the little crap that you're worrying about now instead of worrying about your bulimia.

1:04:13 Drew That's what we call rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Okay? The colds, deck chairs. Titanic going down because of bulimia. Okay?

1:04:24 Adam All right. So get yourself some help. You're calling from Van Nuys?

1:04:28 Drew Yeah.

1:04:28 Adam Oh, get out of that hellhole.

1:04:30 Drew First and foremost.

1:04:31 Adam Dump city.

1:04:32 Drew I'm going to go bulimia.

1:04:33 Just thinking about where do you live in Van Nuys?

1:04:36 Caller Around Shermoe Way.

1:04:39 Caller No.

1:04:40 Caller No, it's horrible.

1:04:42 Adam Oh, what a pit. Get out of there.

1:04:46 Caller Tell me about it.

1:04:48 Adam Well, get out of there.

1:04:49 Caller Yeah.

1:04:50 Adam Go to Sherman Oaks.

1:04:51 Caller I will.

1:04:52 Adam Please. I will. I'm going to tell all you people, you live in these hellholes and you don't even care. This Van Nuys is a dump. I grew up in North Hollywood. That was a dump. I had friends in Van Nuys. I worked in Van Nuys. It's a horrible place. Van Nuys means, it actually means hellhole in Spanish.

1:05:09 Drew It doesn't? Well, good. It's properly named.

1:05:13 Adam The point is, if you can scrape together another 65 bucks a month rent, you can slide over to Sherman Oaks and you'll be fine. And, oh, handle your bulimia while you're at it. Here we go. Jesse?

1:05:25 Yeah.

1:05:25 Adam You're 15?

1:05:26 Caller Yep.

1:05:27 Adam What's up?

1:05:28 Caller Well, me and my girlfriend, we were messing around today.

1:05:33 Caller And, uh, well, anyway, I guess I, um, I'm not here.

1:05:39 Caller Go ahead.

1:05:39 Caller I, uh, you calculated, you know?

1:05:41 Caller Yeah.

1:05:43 Caller And I may have gotten it on my hand and, you know, I guess, uh, gotten it, you know, in her.

1:05:51 Caller Yeah.

1:05:52 Drew This was the first time you'd messed around like this with your girlfriend?

1:05:56 Caller No, but it's the first time that, you know.

1:05:58 Drew Something came out of you?

1:06:00 Caller Yeah.

1:06:00 Drew And so you're freaked out?

1:06:02 Caller No, I'm just freaked out because of...

1:06:04 Drew Yeah, you're freaking out because you're thinking about all the possible ways that what came out of you might have gotten into her.

1:06:09 Caller No, just that one.

1:06:12 Adam Right, so it, she gave you the handy, but it got on your hand?

1:06:18 Caller Well, something like that.

1:06:20 Adam Well, what was it?

1:06:21 Drew Help us understand.

1:06:24 Adam Ooh, 15. Jeez, where do you go from there? Not up, brother, just sideways from now on. You don't go anywhere from oral. That's it, you've peaked at 15. Enjoy. So, she gave you oral, something came out of your pants, she spit it onto your hand?

1:06:41 Caller Well, see, it was on my stomach, and, you know, kind of...

1:06:48 Drew Well, you brush it off, and then grab her... I mean, what did you do?

1:06:52 Caller Yeah, pretty much that.

1:06:53 Drew Brushed it off, and then went right for her?

1:06:55 Caller Well, I, you know, waited, but still.

1:06:59 Yeah.

1:07:00 Adam How long ago did this happen?

1:07:01 Drew I washed my hands and put on Lakers clothes, but still.

1:07:03 Caller A couple hours ago.

1:07:04 Adam I see.

1:07:05 Drew Well, if you are concerned, there's no... You're obviously not gonna... You're not gonna give us enough information for us to judge whether this is even a realistic possibility, but... No, I'm fine with it now. But if you're concerned, she can certainly take the morning after pill. And that will substantially... If she takes it the next 24 hours, she will reduce the risk of pregnancy by about 90%. Okay?

1:07:25 Caller Yeah. I just wanted to know, like, is there, like, what's the biggest percentage that she could be?

1:07:31 Drew 100%. 17%.

1:07:33 Caller Yeah.

1:07:34 Drew I mean, she's... What's the biggest percentage? Yeah, there's no such question like that. Okay?

1:07:40 Caller Okay.

1:07:41 Drew She could get pregnant, and that's that.

1:07:43 Caller All right.

1:07:43 Adam But she's not going to get pregnant.

1:07:45 Caller Okay.

1:07:46 Adam Not from this.

1:07:47 Caller Thanks.

1:07:48 Adam But now you guys are sexually active, sort of, even if you're doing it sort of manually. Uh, so...

1:07:55 Drew By proxy.

1:07:57 Adam Get her on some... Just be more responsible.

1:07:59 Drew Yeah.

1:08:00 Adam Now, you know why I was laughing at the top of the call? I was thinking about how I always say Van Nuys is a dump.

1:08:06 Drew You know?

1:08:07 Adam North Hollywood's a dump. And then I think about, well, doesn't that upset people? And I realized we never got a phone call with anyone upset or defending.

1:08:14 Drew Because they live in the dump. They know where they live.

1:08:17 Adam They know it, yeah. Who's going to argue with that? Jessica?

1:08:21 Yeah?

1:08:22 Adam You're 15.

1:08:23 Caller Hi.

1:08:24 Adam What's up?

1:08:25 Caller Um, I just have, like, this really big fear of, like, okay, because I'll hang out with these guys and my friends and stuff. And they'll just, like, be showing up there because I won't know that they're going. And like, I don't know, I guess sometimes they get a crush on me. And then when somebody tells me, I, like, completely stop talking to them and I just get really...

1:08:47 Drew Have you ever been interested in one of the guys that is interested in you?

1:08:51 Caller Well, it's just like, whenever the guys that I have a crush on never seem to like me.

1:08:55 Drew Right. Okay. And so you don't want to be sort of intruded upon by these guys that do like you. I don't know.

1:09:00 Caller I just get, like, really scared of them and then I just, like...

1:09:02 Drew You're 15. You may not yet have the skills in order to manage guys that sort of come on to you that way. That's alright.

1:09:08 Caller That's alright.

1:09:10 Drew The more interesting question is why you can't sort of let it be known to the guys you are interested in.

1:09:16 Caller I don't know. I get... I'm afraid he'll, like, reject me.

1:09:20 Adam How old are the guys that you're hanging out with? How old are they now?

1:09:23 Caller Like, 15. Same age as me.

1:09:26 Caller Okay.

1:09:27 Adam Well, who do you like right now?

1:09:29 Caller Um, this guy at my school.

1:09:31 Caller Yeah.

1:09:32 Adam What's his name? Kurt?

1:09:34 Caller No.

1:09:35 Adam I'm never right with that Kurt guess.

1:09:36 Drew Joey.

1:09:37 Adam Joey? Is his name Joey? Joey.

1:09:42 Caller No.

1:09:42 Adam Ramon?

1:09:43 Caller No.

1:09:44 Adam Steve?

1:09:44 Caller No.

1:09:45 Adam Frank?

1:09:45 Caller No.

1:09:46 Drew Tom?

1:09:46 Adam Bob?

1:09:47 Caller No.

1:09:48 Adam Any part of Bob, like Robert or Bobby? Larry?

1:09:52 Drew Thank you, sweet spirit.

1:09:53 Adam Brad?

1:09:54 Caller Nope.

1:09:54 Adam Chuck?

1:09:55 Caller Nope.

1:09:55 Adam Jim?

1:09:56 Caller Nope.

1:09:57 Adam Mike?

1:09:57 Caller Nope.

1:09:58 Adam Rondo?

1:09:59 Caller No.

1:10:00 Adam Julio?

1:10:01 Caller No.

1:10:02 Adam Is it a bizarre name?

1:10:03 Caller No.

1:10:04 Adam Drew?

1:10:05 Caller No.

1:10:05 Adam Adam?

1:10:06 Caller No.

1:10:06 Drew Robert?

1:10:07 Caller No.

1:10:08 Drew You're going to give us a name?

1:10:09 Adam No. No. Hang on, Jessica. I want to keep guessing this guy's name. All right. It's a regular name, right?

1:10:16 Caller Yeah.

1:10:16 Adam Stu?

1:10:17 Drew Steve.

1:10:18 Caller No.

1:10:18 Adam Brian.

1:10:18 Drew What to start with?

1:10:19 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, help me. Brian?

1:10:24 Caller No.

1:10:24 Adam Duke?

1:10:25 Caller No.

1:10:26 Adam Dan?

1:10:27 Caller No. Okay.

1:10:28 Adam Hang on. Todd. No. Wait a minute. Jessica?

1:10:31 Caller Yeah.

1:10:32 Adam Todd?

1:10:33 Caller No.

1:10:33 Caller Hold on.

1:10:35 Adam Todd. That's a lame guess.

1:10:37 Drew I know you like that name, though.

1:10:38 Adam Hold on. Anderson says Chris.

1:10:40 Drew Chris?

1:10:40 Adam Okay. Wait a minute. It's got to be. Jessica?

1:10:43 Caller Yeah.

1:10:43 Adam Chris?

1:10:44 Caller No.

1:10:44 Adam All right. Hold on.

1:10:45 Drew Ray?

1:10:46 Caller Oh.

1:10:49 Adam No, I gave Mike. Wait a minute. I got Anthony. Hold on.

1:10:52 Caller That's right.

1:10:53 Adam Anthony? No.

1:10:54 Drew Ray?

1:10:56 Adam Okay. Hang on. Okay. Don't go anywhere because it's a regular name.

1:11:02 Drew We should have given the first letter.

1:11:04 Adam No, she doesn't. We should have gotten it by now.

1:11:06 Drew Yes.

1:11:07 Adam We named 25 good, basic, straight names.

1:11:11 Drew The name is going to be something more ridiculous. Okay.

1:11:14 Adam Well, wait a minute. Just wait one second. Jessica?

1:11:17 Caller Yeah.

1:11:17 Adam Don't tell us the name.

1:11:18 Caller Okay.

1:11:19 Adam Don't tell us the first letter begins with.

1:11:21 Caller Okay.

1:11:22 Adam But answer this question. Is it an ethnic name or is it an American name?

1:11:27 Caller It's an American name.

1:11:28 Adam An American name.

1:11:30 Caller A what?

1:11:30 Drew Jason. Nicholas. Jason.

1:11:35 Caller Nope.

1:11:35 Adam All right.

1:11:36 Drew Hold on. Josh.

1:11:37 Adam Now, wait a minute.

1:11:38 Drew Joshua. That's it.

1:11:39 Adam That's it. Listen. Hold one more thing.

1:11:42 Drew Joshua. Josh?

1:11:44 Adam Nope. Okay. Hang on. Jessica? Now, it can't. I don't want any derivative things. If we said Steve and he goes by Stephen, you got to sound off, right?

1:11:53 Caller Well, yeah.

1:11:55 Adam Okay. Hang on. Hang on. Kids, this could be the rest of the show. It's a straight American name. I'm only going to take calls that are guesses now on this guy's name. It's a regular American name. I know I'm going to throttle her when I find out the guy's name is Hezekiah.

1:12:12 Caller Yeah.

1:12:14 Adam We're going to take a break. Well, we'll finish the guessing after that.

1:12:51 Caller Hi, this is David Arquette, and you're listening to The Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Alrighty, kids.

1:13:00 Adam Rob Schneider in tomorrow night, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. When we left off, we were speaking to Jessica. Jessica, is your radio turned down now, by the way?

1:13:10 Caller Yeah.

1:13:11 Adam Okay. Now you're 15. You're a little creeped out by guys you don't like, but you're unable to connect with guys you do like.

1:13:18 Caller Yeah, it like bugs me all day. I think about it all day.

1:13:21 Adam More importantly, there's a guy you have a crush on at school, right? And you have not been able to muster the courage to come up and talk to him, right?

1:13:30 Caller Well, I'm like friends with him, but I can't tell him that I like him.

1:13:34 Adam I see. And his name is Gordon.

1:13:38 Caller Nope.

1:13:39 Drew David.

1:13:40 Caller Nope.

1:13:41 Drew Jordan.

1:13:41 Caller Nope.

1:13:42 Drew Curtis.

1:13:42 Caller Nope.

1:13:43 Drew Douglas.

1:13:43 Caller Nope.

1:13:44 Drew Richard.

1:13:45 Caller Nope. Ron. Nope.

1:13:46 Drew Craig.

1:13:47 Adam Nope.

1:13:47 Drew Greg.

1:13:48 Caller Nope.

1:13:48 Drew Peter.

1:13:48 Adam Dick.

1:13:50 Caller No.

1:13:51 Adam Bruce.

1:13:53 Drew Dennis.

1:13:54 Caller No.

1:13:54 Adam Turk.

1:13:55 Caller No.

1:13:57 Adam Bjork. Art. Arthur.

1:13:59 Drew Arthur.

1:14:00 Caller No.

1:14:02 Adam What's going on in the background there, screwball?

1:14:05 Caller My TV is on.

1:14:06 Adam All right. Please turn it down.

1:14:07 Drew Andy.

1:14:08 Caller All right.

1:14:10 Adam Jesus Christ.

1:14:11 Drew Andy.

1:14:11 Adam Andy.

1:14:12 Caller No.

1:14:13 Drew Jeremy. Jack. Ryan.

1:14:14 Caller No.

1:14:14 Adam Arnold.

1:14:15 Caller No.

1:14:17 Adam Alfonso.

1:14:19 Caller No. All right.

1:14:21 Adam Come on. Think of your parents' names. Think of some easy names here. Chris. Christopher. Christoph.

1:14:28 Caller That's my dad's name. Aha.

1:14:30 Adam We're getting warm.

1:14:33 Drew Edward.

1:14:35 Adam Now, I swear. You know what's going to happen, Jessica. You are going to give me the name of someone I named 10 minutes ago, and I'm going to fly out to Phoenix and strangle you. Okay.

1:14:48 Drew Should we do it?

1:14:49 Adam I know. I refuse. Now, hold on. Hold on.

1:14:53 Drew Rob.

1:14:54 Adam I did Rob. Rob. Is his name Rob?

1:15:00 Caller No.

1:15:00 Drew Ricky. Rick.

1:15:02 Caller No.

1:15:03 Drew Stu.

1:15:04 Adam Richard.

1:15:05 Caller No.

1:15:05 Adam I did Stu. Larry. All the good ones.

1:15:09 Drew Larry.

1:15:11 Adam Curtis, Kirk.

1:15:12 Drew Ben. Benjamin.

1:15:13 Caller No.

1:15:14 Adam Jack.

1:15:16 Drew I did that one.

1:15:16 Adam All right. Hang on.

1:15:18 Caller Hang on.

1:15:18 Adam There's no more male names. This is a normal American first name, right?

1:15:22 Drew Sam.

1:15:24 Adam That was a good one though. Hang on. I got to look to the Peanut Gallery now.

1:15:31 Drew They wrote down all those names. There's nothing in there. Lee.

1:15:34 Adam I did Lee.

1:15:36 Drew Kevin.

1:15:36 Adam Lee, Kevin. No. Okay. Hang on. Jessica, just hang on. I'm going to take some more calls. Then we'll get some good names. Gabriel.

1:15:49 Caller Gabriel.

1:15:50 Adam Gabriel. I'm making it into a boy's name.

1:15:53 Caller Well, that's okay.

1:15:54 Adam You're 31. I'm trying to think of a name. Yeah. What's up?

1:15:57 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:15:58 Caller I'm 31 and about six months ago, I started having a new kind of orgasm in addition to the old one. Wow. I'm trying to figure out what the hell it is and why it's starting now after I've been sexually active half my life.

1:16:11 Drew Well, what are these new experiences?

1:16:15 Caller It's a much smaller release, but it's much easier. It happened more frequently before I could only have clitoral orgasms that were very intense and took a long time. And this is like I can have it from intercourse from almost anything and it's short and sudden and it's really, really wet.

1:16:31 Adam And when did this start?

1:16:33 Caller About six months ago.

1:16:35 Adam What's your, are you married?

1:16:37 Caller No, I'm divorced.

1:16:39 Adam What was your ex-husband's name? It's important.

1:16:44 Caller Josh.

1:16:45 Drew Josh.

1:16:47 Adam And we used that one.

1:16:50 Caller Still trying to figure out the question.

1:16:53 Drew Gabrielle, are you on any medication?

1:16:56 Caller I'm on Paxil.

1:16:57 Drew That's what's doing it.

1:16:58 Caller But I've been on it for two years.

1:16:59 Drew Well, it's probably what's doing it still. It's interesting though, it changes orgasmic function. Usually it diminishes it. Are you having more difficulty having a clitoral orgasm?

1:17:08 Caller No, the olivac and the orgasm is the same. This is like just more.

1:17:12 Drew I bet it's the Paxil though, I really do. Because Paxil just changes all that function and changes it in different ways in different people. Usually in the downward direction it makes it worse, but I can see where it can make a better change too.

1:17:22 Caller Well, it's really embarrassing. I mean, I feel like I should only date a guy named Noah now. I'm like, I'm just-

1:17:26 Adam You've got Bill Nark. You get it there?

1:17:29 Caller It's really bad.

1:17:30 Caller Yeah.

1:17:30 Drew Guys are pleased when they achieve that with you.

1:17:33 Caller You think so?

1:17:34 Drew Oh, yeah. They see something for their life. Yeah, you're fine.

1:17:38 Adam That's right.

1:17:39 Drew No problem. They're self-impressed.

1:17:42 Caller So you think it's happening because of the impactful?

1:17:45 Drew I suspect, but even be that as it may, you become multi-orgasmic.

1:17:49 Adam You get older, things loosen up.

1:17:51 Drew The testosterone levels go up and these functions do change with time for sure.

1:17:56 Adam Jessica?

1:17:58 Drew Bjork?

1:17:59 Adam Gavin.

1:18:02 Drew Victor.

1:18:02 Adam Victor. Victor. I did a Victor, didn't I? Monty? Ben, Alex, Tony? Mute? That's a Jewish name. No? No. OK.

1:18:12 Drew Wynn.

1:18:13 Adam Hang on. Wynn? No. I wouldn't accept that as a standard American name.

1:18:19 Drew Hold on.

1:18:19 Caller Wait.

1:18:19 Drew Let's go through some letters here. M other than Monty.

1:18:25 Adam We did the arts.

1:18:26 Drew We did Ralph.

1:18:28 Adam Oh, I don't think we did Ralph.

1:18:30 Drew No.

1:18:30 Adam Are you going to get your hopes up about Ralph? Ralph.

1:18:34 No.

1:18:35 Adam OK. Hang on. Mark.

1:18:38 Yeah.

1:18:39 Adam You're 40.

1:18:40 Caller Yeah. Good evening, gentlemen, and thanks for taking my call. I'm a long-time listener, but I've never called before. So, I appreciate you taking my call.

1:18:48 Adam Well, thanks. What is your call?

1:18:50 Caller Anyway, I've got a kind of a troubling situation. I've been an amputee for 20 years as a result of a motorcycle accident. I have an above-the-knee amputation on my right leg, and I'm pretty active. Good times.

1:19:04 Adam Oh, good times. Good times.

1:19:06 Caller Yeah.

1:19:07 Caller But I have a nagging problem with what they call phantom pain. Yeah. Phantom pain is in a plastic foot I don't have. Everybody knows it's plastic, but it hurts like, it hurts badly.

1:19:21 Drew Phantom pain, literally, you feel like that limb that you had is still there, and you're feeling pain in it.

1:19:25 Caller Yeah, but, you know, most of the times, most amputees I've talked with don't even have this problem. Right. Not only do I have the problem, but it seems to be getting worse. I've just been through three days of intense pain.

1:19:36 Drew Are you doing drugs, taking opiates?

1:19:39 Caller Well, I've been prescribed Darvacet by an orthopedic doctor. It's part of my HMO.

1:19:45 Drew Does that help?

1:19:45 Adam Are you actually having pain in... Would you shut up, Drew? You have a prosthetic leg and you have a foot, and you're actually having pain in the foot of the prosthetic leg?

1:19:58 Caller It feels like someone is taking a high-voltage wire and stabbing at my heel.

1:20:04 Drew If he took off the prosthetic leg, he'd still have the pain.

1:20:08 Adam Well, you have to burn the prosthetic leg.

1:20:12 Caller It becomes like a part of you.

1:20:13 Adam It's very, very strong. If you took the prosthetic off for two days, would you still have the pain? Where would the pain be?

1:20:24 Caller Well, it would be towards the end of the amputated leg, but it doesn't have the definition it does when you have the actual...

1:20:32 Drew He would perceive it still as in a foot that's not there. That's why it's called phantom. Phantom limb pain, it's called.

1:20:38 Caller The troubling thing is it's difficult to explain this to most medical doctors that don't even understand the condition exists.

1:20:44 Drew I beg your pardon. That's something that any first year medical student would know about.

1:20:47 Caller I've had a lot of difficulty in...

1:20:50 Drew It's difficult to treat, and people might blow it off because it's impossible to treat, and you should see a pain specialist. They have spinal nerve stimulators and all kinds of things they can do to treat this. It's a nerve issue. It's a spinal reflex and a peripheral nerve problem.

1:21:05 Adam Well, where is the leg that was amputated? Because you're going to have to get a priest in there to exercise it. That's the only way to get rid of phantom pain.

1:21:11 Caller Well, I was just going to ask you, Dr. Drew, is there anything that is developing in this?

1:21:19 Drew Yeah, a ton. You need to go down to Irvine and go to the Chronic Pain Program and see what they can do. They've got an anesthesia and a neurosurgery department there. They both deal with chronic pain. They have all kinds of new things for this. They have spinal stimulators. There's intrathecal injections. There's it depends where they localize the pain syndrome is coming from.

1:21:37 Adam Yeah.

1:21:38 Caller Huh?

1:21:39 Adam I'm trying to come up with names here.

1:21:41 Caller Let's talk to her.

1:21:43 Adam Did I do George?

1:21:46 Drew I don't know.

1:21:47 Adam Oh, is it George? She's just toying with us now.

1:21:52 Drew Nicholas?

1:21:54 Adam I think I did a Nick.

1:21:55 Drew Nathan?

1:21:56 Adam Nathan.

1:21:58 Drew Orville?

1:22:01 Adam Wilbur?

1:22:02 Drew Paul?

1:22:02 Adam I think I did Paul.

1:22:07 Caller Uh-uh.

1:22:09 Adam Hey Jessica?

1:22:10 Caller Yeah?

1:22:10 Adam You know that game to tell the truth? Where those three people try to fake out the celebrity contestants? This ain't that.

1:22:18 Caller I know.

1:22:19 Adam If you hear the name, sound off.

1:22:20 Drew William.

1:22:21 Adam Don't keep groaning and then going back.

1:22:23 Drew Not William.

1:22:24 Adam Not William.

1:22:25 Drew Try to respond to that W name a little bit.

1:22:27 Adam Barry.

1:22:27 Drew Stay with W for a second.

1:22:29 Adam Barry?

1:22:30 Caller Uh-uh.

1:22:31 Adam You want to say W?

1:22:34 Caller No. Good one.

1:22:36 Adam Wes?

1:22:37 Caller No.

1:22:39 Adam Willie?

1:22:40 Caller No.

1:22:41 Adam True. We stay with these stupid Ws because you got to hair up your ass. Hang on Jessica. And then when it just tuned in, I'm trying to figure out the name of the guy that Jessica has a crush on. She says it's a normal American name. I know I'm going to kill her when she gives me the name.

1:22:58 Drew Because it's going to be Octavio.

1:23:00 Adam It will be Octavio or it will be the third name that I mentioned but she wasn't listening because Sally Jessie Raphael was playing. Hold on, give me a minute. Raphael?

1:23:11 Drew What?

1:23:12 Caller Yeah.

1:23:13 Drew That's it?

1:23:14 Caller Wait, what did you say?

1:23:15 Adam Raphael?

1:23:16 Caller Oh, no.

1:23:18 Adam Jessie?

1:23:18 Caller Yeah.

1:23:20 Caller Yes?

1:23:21 Caller I thought you were saying my name.

1:23:24 Adam No, it's not Jessie?

1:23:25 Drew Alex?

1:23:26 Adam Sally?

1:23:27 Caller Nope.

1:23:27 Adam Okay, hang on. We did the Josh's. Someone's got a suggestion for a name. Alex?

1:23:34 Caller Hey, I have a suggestion for the names. It's Alex, Chad, Kyle.

1:23:43 Adam Chad and Kyle? Oh, Cody. Yeah, all those new gay names I forgot about. Cody?

1:23:50 Drew Dan? We did Dan.

1:23:51 Adam Yeah, we did that. Kyle?

1:23:53 Caller And Don.

1:23:54 Adam Don, I think I did Don.

1:23:56 Drew Jim.

1:23:57 Adam I did Jim. I did Jim. I'll redo Jim. That's under protest. Somebody got Don, Jim, Kyle, Cody, and Chad? Mark and Kyle.

1:24:08 Drew Mark?

1:24:08 Adam I did Mark.

1:24:09 Drew Okay, thanks.

1:24:10 Adam Hang on, Alex. Okay. Jessica?

1:24:14 Caller Yeah.

1:24:14 Adam Chad?

1:24:15 Caller No.

1:24:15 Adam Cody?

1:24:16 Caller No.

1:24:16 Adam Kyle? Don? Jim? Hang on. I'm at my wits end with this bitch. I bet an ass full of her.

1:24:26 Drew Justin.

1:24:26 Adam I swear we did a Justin. We haven't done a Justin. I think we've done Justin. Jessica?

1:24:33 Caller Yeah.

1:24:33 Adam Justin?

1:24:34 Caller Yeah.

1:24:34 Drew What?

1:24:35 Caller You guys.

1:24:45 Adam I told you I have a gift. And I tell Drew all the time and he does not buy into it.

1:24:50 Drew It's an intuitive thing.

1:24:52 Adam But out of the hundreds, maybe thousands of names, I got it after like 375 names. And that's...

1:25:00 Drew Imagine the odds.

1:25:03 Adam It's astronomical. Justin?

1:25:06 Caller Yeah.

1:25:07 Adam Didn't I do a Justin 45 minutes ago?

1:25:10 Caller Nuh-uh.

1:25:11 Adam Nuh-uh. Okay. So you like Justin? I like to kill this Justin. Go ask him out tomorrow, would you?

1:25:21 Caller I'm on summer break.

1:25:23 Adam Okay.

1:25:23 Drew What's he doing?

1:25:24 Adam Doing it in September.

1:25:26 Drew You got an email address for him or anything?

1:25:27 Caller I'm changing schools.

1:25:30 Drew That's even better. There's no downside to that.

1:25:32 Adam Yeah. Go for broke. Can you find him?

1:25:36 Caller No.

1:25:36 Adam You don't know his last name?

1:25:38 Caller I know his last name, but I don't know his number.

1:25:40 Drew No email address?

1:25:42 Adam Call information and get his name. Yeah.

1:25:46 Caller I don't want him to think I'm stalking him.

1:25:48 Adam What do you care? You're moving. You're going to another school.

1:25:50 Drew I promise you he'll be flattered.

1:25:52 Adam Go for broke.

1:25:52 Drew Even if he says no, even if he can't do it or is not interested, he'll be moved, flattered.

1:25:56 Adam Go for broke, baby. You're going to another school. You'll never see him again, right?

1:26:01 Drew Guaranteed he'll be flattered. Guaranteed.

1:26:03 Caller Okay.

1:26:05 Adam All right.

1:26:06 Drew Justin.

1:26:06 Adam Well, we really helped her out. I think I said Justin. I really don't. Maybe I didn't. Okay. I'm going to take a break. We'll be back.

1:26:18 Caller Loveline. We'll be right back.

1:26:19 Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:26:55 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Don't Call Me Justin, Dr. Drew over there. Rob Schneider in tomorrow night. We're doing some real important work here this evening. Jesse.

1:27:09 Caller Yeah, hi.

1:27:10 Adam You're 20.

1:27:10 Drew Wasn't that Jesse who was just driving us insane?

1:27:12 Adam Yeah, that was Chick Jesse.

1:27:15 Caller Yeah, I'm a guy.

1:27:15 Adam This is Dude Jesse.

1:27:17 Caller Hi.

1:27:17 Adam What's happening, Dude Jesse?

1:27:19 Caller Not much. I was hoping to get your opinions and advice on what it takes to be successful in therapy.

1:27:24 Adam All right.

1:27:25 Drew Just hang in. Hang in and be willing.

1:27:30 Caller Okay.

1:27:31 Drew Be willing. That is the one piece of advice. I gave a lecture the other day. I tried to struggle with, I was at a group of addicts, we were trying to come to terms with how do you give somebody Get It. I think I talked about this the other night. How do you get them to sort of get it, to be willing to follow direction, to be willing to give in to the process of treatment? It's hard. It's hard to get somebody there. A good therapist will sort of connect with you where you are and find a way to build a relationship wherever it is you are and then you'll get it eventually.

1:27:59 Adam Are you going to a therapist now?

1:28:01 Caller Well, I see a psychiatrist for schizophrenia.

1:28:05 Drew Well, schizophrenia is not something that responds particularly to therapy, right?

1:28:09 Caller Right. Well, yeah, but I have some emotional problems, aside from that, you know.

1:28:13 Caller All right.

1:28:17 Adam Yeah, all right. Well, stay with the work. I mean, you know what you have to do, right?

1:28:24 Caller Yeah. Yeah. You got to get into treatment.

1:28:26 Adam You're taking medication?

1:28:27 Caller Uh-huh.

1:28:28 Drew Okay.

1:28:29 Adam They got some good stuff for schizophrenia now, right?

1:28:31 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:28:32 Drew We have clothes reel, something like that?

1:28:33 Caller No, I'm on Seracoil.

1:28:36 Drew Okay. Fair enough.

1:28:37 Caller We're pretty good.

1:28:38 Adam All right, Jesse. Keep up the good work.

1:28:40 Caller Yeah. Yeah. You know, I really respect you guys' opinion.

1:28:45 Adam Oh, Drew. I really respect your opinion.

1:28:47 Caller Yeah.

1:28:49 Adam Thanks, Jesse. It means a lot to us. It does. And it'd mean more to us if you kept with your program.

1:28:55 Drew Absolutely.

1:28:56 Caller And I was hoping to hear Adam's opinion on, you know, because I know you've been through a lot of therapy and stuff.

1:29:02 Adam Yeah.

1:29:03 Drew Yeah. Thanks.

1:29:04 Adam Yeah. Yeah. My opinion is show up and, you know, you can treat... I mean, look at it this way. It's not a great analogy, but it's somewhat apropos. If you go to a personal trainer once a week and you sit there in your jeans and a sweat jacket...

1:29:25 Drew Or just say, I can't, I can't.

1:29:26 Adam Yeah, I can't. You just sort of stand around, then the world's best personal trainer will get no results. And if you just do what they tell you to do and work with them and essentially break a sweat... The harder you work, you'll get something out of it. It's the same with therapy. Not that I do that, but that's for you guys. Yeah.

1:29:43 Drew Have you yet to talk to your therapist about anything meaningful?

1:29:47 Adam Not that I'm aware of. No, no, no. Jessica.

1:29:51 Drew Is this Jessica Central here?

1:29:54 Adam Yeah.

1:29:55 Drew You must be named Jessica to call the station.

1:29:57 Caller Yes.

1:29:58 Adam What's up? You're 18.

1:30:00 Caller Yeah.

1:30:01 Caller Like a month ago, I found a bump on my vagina, and I didn't think anything of it, because I just thought it was like an ingrown hair. And then my friends were saying that it could have just been like a harmless cyst, but I wanted to go to the doctor anyways, so I got in there today. And she saw it, and she's like, oh, no, it was nothing. You know, it was just an ingrown hair. And she wanted to just leave it, but I didn't want her to. So she's like, okay, you know, I'll cut it open, and I'll let it drain or whatever. And she cut it open, and she's like, this is definitely not an ingrown hair. This is definitely not a cyst. And she was like digging around, and she's like, I have no idea what this is. And she's like, oh, it should go down, but I think I'm going to have to get a second opinion and come back in six weeks. And that scares me. And so she, like, numbed it. She put a shot in it, and the numbing wore off, and now I'm in extreme pain. I can barely walk, and it's, like, swelled up.

1:30:54 Drew Oh, boy.

1:30:55 Caller And it's, like, black, and I haven't told my mom, so I have to whisper.

1:30:59 Drew Well, the black is just a bleeding blood.

1:31:00 Caller Yeah, well, it just makes it look like that.

1:31:03 Drew Yeah. What kind of doctors does she want you to say?

1:31:06 Caller She said that if I came back in six weeks, she'd get another gynecologist, and she'd get a dermatologist.

1:31:12 Drew Well, why wait six weeks?

1:31:14 Caller I don't know why. That's all my friends are saying.

1:31:16 Drew No, you got to push harder.

1:31:17 Adam Well, this on the outside of your vagina?

1:31:19 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:31:21 Drew Well, it seems to me that next week or two of that ought to be figured out.

1:31:25 Caller Yeah, like my friend's mom said it could be a gland, like a blocked up gland, because it's big and hard.

1:31:32 Drew Yeah, it's probably what's a Bartholomew's gland that gets clogged, but even so, if the doctor really has no idea what it is, you need a diagnosis, so push on for that.

1:31:41 Adam Dustin?

1:31:42 Drew Dustin.

1:31:43 Adam We didn't guess that one. You're 17?

1:31:45 Caller Yeah.

1:31:46 Adam You're gay?

1:31:47 Caller Yeah.

1:31:48 Adam And?

1:31:49 Caller And, well, I'm gay, and I like, it's just kind of hard where I live to find people, but like where I work, this person recently came out to me, and he was just like, yeah, hey, and we were talking, and then we went out to the movies on Monday, Memorial Day, and then he started like asking questions and stuff like that, and you know, so I answered him, because I'm more used to lifestyle, because when I figured out that I was gay, I just like accepted it, I'm just like, here's who I am.

1:32:16 Drew You're gay, alright, good, and what's the question?

1:32:20 Caller Well, he's new to this, and when I answer these questions, they don't sound like he was like uncomfortable around me, and like he doesn't understand what's happening or anything like that.

1:32:31 Drew Well, maybe you can help him be more at ease with all this.

1:32:33 Adam Yeah, he'll be his gay guide.

1:32:37 Caller Yeah, well, it's just like, I want him to be like comfortable around me, except whenever I approach him, I feel like he's acting weird around me.

1:32:45 Adam Well, do you like him?

1:32:47 Caller Yeah.

1:32:48 Adam Well, he probably likes you or he wouldn't have brought it up.

1:32:51 Drew Tell him to calm down, that's all.

1:32:52 Adam Yeah, just take it slow. How old is he?

1:32:56 Caller He's 16.

1:32:56 Adam Yeah. Has he been with a guy?

1:32:59 Caller He has not.

1:33:00 Drew Yeah, I'm a bit nervous for him. It's the first time.

1:33:02 Adam He's breaking ground and breaking behind us. Yeah, feel it out. Take it slow. Don't freak the guy out. It'll all work out. Good times. We'll be back.

1:33:14 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Love Line will be right back.

1:33:53 Caller All right.

1:33:55 Adam Well, there you go. Another fantabulous Loveline show. We learned all the male names in the Bible.

1:34:01 Drew Rob Steiner.

1:34:02 Adam Tomorrow night. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Jessica? Justin? Yeah.

1:34:09 Drew What?

1:34:19 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:34:22 Caller No.

1:34:22 Caller Not necessarily those of the staff, management sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, November 22, 2001