Episode 1000754886744

0:02 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, Coast to Coast.

0:23 Voiceover Hey, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist.

0:35 Drew Adam, I realized our relationship has degenerated to a new low.

0:39 Adam Why?

0:39 Drew Usually, I'm in here, you walk in with that four seconds left, and we sort of greet each other and get on with the show. Now we're here five minutes early, we don't even make eye contact. We haven't yet, as a matter of fact.

0:52 Adam Saving it for the show, baby.

0:53 Drew Oh, man.

0:54 Adam And listen, let me clarify something. When I say saving it for the show, I don't necessarily mean tonight's show.

1:02 Drew It could be Thursday. Sure, of course.

1:05 Adam Whenever we used to do the man show, and we'd be going through rehearsals, and it wasn't going too good, I would always announce to everybody, I was saving it for the show.

1:13 Drew Man, were you?

1:14 Adam Then I would pause and say, the radio show. We've always delighted everybody.

1:19 Drew You've never delivered there either.

1:20 Adam That's right. Well, don't tell them. I think I delivered.

1:25 Nice.

1:26 Adam Speaking of the man show, on tonight, 10 o'clock on Comedy Central. Oh, man. Big Manivation's episode, and I do the soothsaying Tobias. It's quite a night on the man show. Beginning of football season.

1:43 Drew Yeah, how do you feel about that?

1:44 Adam I loved it, and I love it. I love football. I love football. I love football season. To me, it's a comfort food to me.

1:54 Drew I was thinking about you today. I need football. I was watching that Kansas City-Oakland game and thought, oh, it's here. But you know what? My kids are so entrenched in baseball. We can't let go of that yet.

2:03 Adam Yeah. That's weird. That's the faggity sport. You gotta get them into football. I realized football saved my life growing up. I got to play an organized sport, get a little discipline and excel at something. And I realized now when I see it as an adult, it feels like my huggy blanket.

2:20 Drew Right. Like your homecoming.

2:22 Adam Yeah.

2:22 Drew But you know what's nice? The weather changed like the same weekend.

2:26 Adam Yes. It's like God knew football season was coming. So he cooled it down and farted or blew. Does he blow or fart to get wind? I'd like to think he farts. But he may do that thing or I don't know what it was, but it was a little breezy.

2:44 Drew It was wonderful.

2:45 Adam Wonderful. And then I started bedding. Then that's when the trouble began.

2:49 Drew Jimmy Calderon.

2:51 Adam Cousin Seth. You cannot gamble. You know why you can't gamble? I'll tell you why you can't gamble or why I can't gamble. Because as you know, any gamble is about 50-50, maybe a little less than 50-50. Figuring what the house gets or what the VIG is.

3:07 Drew Well, you and I have bad luck.

3:09 Adam We're cursed. Yeah, so why gamble?

3:10 Drew It's way below 50-50 for us.

3:12 Adam Right.

3:12 Drew 50-50, we'd probably keep doing it.

3:15 Adam I took the Rams and I took San Francisco. Rams, by the way, I took the Rams and gave away three points. Rams, and here's, by the way, when they set those spreads over, under, and the three point and stuff, let me tell you how good they are when they do that.

3:31 Drew Oh, yeah.

3:32 Adam I took the Rams and gave away three points to the Eagles. Rams were beating the crap out of the hapless Eagles the entire game.

3:39 Drew They lost with three points.

3:40 Adam The whole game, they were up 17-3 into the fourth quarter and down on the eight-yard line the Rams were, and about to punch it in when they threw an interception, the Eagles came all the way back, Rams ended up winning in overtime by three points. So that game is a push because the spread is three, and that's exactly where it landed on. San Francisco, Atlanta, I gave away three and a half. Guess what the difference in points for that game was?

4:09 Drew Three and a half.

4:10 Adam Three, three and a half, you idiot.

4:13 Drew Three points.

4:14 Adam Three points.

4:15 Drew That's good, that's good games though.

4:16 Adam So here's the point, here's the game. Here's my point, I took two teams, combined spread of six points, and over the two games this combined spread was six points. And I gave six and a half actually, so I lost one and pushed another, and I don't want to get into the details, but I was just screaming at the television set. John?

4:39 Caller Yeah?

4:39 Adam You're 16?

4:40 Caller Hey.

4:41 Adam What's up?

4:42 Caller Whenever I ejaculate, oh, what's up you guys, first of all?

4:45 Adam What's up?

4:46 Caller Hey, whenever I ejaculate, like at night, or whenever, the next morning I wake up and I see like pimples starting to, you know.

4:55 Drew On your face?

4:56 Caller On my face, yeah.

4:57 Adam Yeah, but here's the question.

4:58 Drew Yeah, what morning do you wake up?

5:00 Adam Since you've hit puberty, have you ever not beat off the night before? That's the question.

5:05 Drew Or have you ever not woken up with pimples in your face?

5:08 Caller Well, actually, yes, I have gone several nights without, like if I stop for a night, then the pimples start to vanish, you know. Like slowly.

5:18 Drew I think you're just sort of, what's they call a spurious association. Right, spurious. You think you're seeing something, but you're not. There really is no association.

5:27 Adam No. You know, you're like Chromagnum Man, where you've figured out where the volcano erupts each time something happens in the village.

5:37 Drew You have a sacrifice. Yeah, you sacrifice a virgin and the volcano doesn't blow up. Well, the volcano is just not blowing up. And people have tried to associate it with actually not masturbating causing acne. Some people have said that are not having sex causing acne. It's nonsense.

5:55 Adam When does acne kick in? Puberty?

5:57 Drew Yeah.

5:58 Adam Yeah. There's nothing worse than that. That early acne thing. God willing, puberty kicks in and it gives you a year or two before the zits come flying in. Hey, John?

6:10 Caller Yeah.

6:11 Adam It's not that. So do you pop your zits?

6:14 Caller Most of the time, yeah.

6:15 Adam Yeah. You use a pin. That's what I do. I push that pin right in there.

6:20 Drew No, John.

6:23 Adam It works great.

6:23 Drew Get some treatment for the acne. Acne is a completely treatable disorder.

6:26 Adam And you use that Oxy-10.

6:27 Drew Yeah, there's Oxy-10 that can work. There's antibiotic lotions. There's some kits you can get now. There are all kinds of stuff that can be used.

6:33 Adam You know, that Oxy-10 works so well, that benzoyl peroxide works well. I'm surprised it's sold over the counter because as you well know, Drew, anything that has any kind of efficacy is not sold without a prescription.

6:48 Drew That's right.

6:48 Adam This is the only thing that actually works that is sold. I would say Oxy-10 and Nyquil are the two things that actually work that you can buy.

6:58 Drew Speaking of this, I saw another case today where a kid had a, it's like a 21-year-old with a life-threatening infection in his spine. His parents insisted he go to acupunctures and stuff. He almost died getting needles put in his foot and in his ear and stuff, and not seeing people who understand how to know the difference between back pain and a life-threatening infection.

7:18 Adam Hippie parents?

7:19 Drew No, not even.

7:20 Adam Was this one of your patients or you see it on Discovery?

7:22 Drew No, one of my patients. I've seen that a lot. I saw another guy, his kid swung a bat and he got this chest pain. Well, he also had a fever but nobody paid attention to that, and he developed this huge pleural abscess in his chest from pneumonia.

7:35 Adam Yeah.

7:35 Drew Well, what's your point? He went to weeks and weeks of all kinds of herbs and stuff and almost died.

7:42 Adam Listen, this alternative is right up there with alternative fuels.

7:46 Drew That's my point. If the herbs and things were so powerful, they would have made him better instead of letting him die as they almost did.

7:52 Adam Here's the deal. The man can kill you and the man can cure you, but you got to go to the man one way or the other. Becky?

7:59 Caller Hi.

7:59 Adam Oh, she said it was loud. You're 19. What's up?

8:03 Caller I was wondering if it's possible to partially tear your hymen.

8:07 Adam Partially repair?

8:09 Caller No, tear.

8:10 Caller Oh, tear.

8:11 Drew If you put something inside, it will tear, yes.

8:14 Caller Okay. Like partially though?

8:16 Drew Well, mostly. I mean, what do you mean partially?

8:19 Adam Well, she means part of the hymen get torn. Like you mean like if your hymen was a snare drum, it's as if we'd cut out half of the top of the drum?

8:28 Drew Yeah, but the hymen isn't that complete a membrane. You know what I mean? Remember the doctor that sat there, Dr. Altman, and gave you the mouth impressions of the vagina?

8:39 Adam Yeah, I think I do. I remember kind of closing my eyes, because I see the old Jewish guy saying, now my mouth, pretend my mouth is a vagina. I was like, hey doc, I'm this close to effing you in the face. You're lucky I haven't had a beer. I'd hop right on you.

8:56 Drew Anyway, it's more of a narrowing, you can expand that.

9:00 Adam All right, so what's your situation, Becky?

9:02 Caller Okay, I'll tell you the story. I was masturbating a while ago and I had done it before, but I had never gone up that far.

9:09 Drew With what? With your fingers?

9:11 Caller Yeah, with my fingers. I had used other objects before, but this time I was using my fingers.

9:15 Adam Are you a virgin?

9:16 Yes.

9:18 Caller And when I was done, I noticed that there was blood where I was laying.

9:24 Drew Well, is it time to have your period?

9:26 Caller No, no.

9:27 Drew Did it hurt?

9:29 Caller No, it didn't hurt.

9:30 Drew Well, your hymen's already gone, you've been putting stuff up there.

9:33 Adam Did you feel any kind of obstruction?

9:35 Drew And you're 19, you're 19.

9:36 Caller Yeah, see, that's the thing. I had never felt like anything happened before. And after it was done, there was just blood there.

9:44 Drew Well, sexual activity can stimulate bleeding from your uterus. I think that's more likely to be the case.

9:50 Caller Okay.

9:51 Adam Why are you still a virgin?

9:54 Caller What has happened?

9:56 Adam Why? Because of my show and I'm curious, that's why.

9:59 Caller Well, it's my choice. I've chosen to still remain a virgin.

10:03 Drew That's good.

10:04 Adam No, listen, I know as a woman, it's your choice.

10:07 Drew No, he means what?

10:07 Adam A 19-year-old guy, it's not his choice.

10:10 Caller Right. Well, I'm just letting you know that I've chosen to remain a virgin.

10:13 Adam I understand that.

10:15 Drew Let's put it this way. If we could bottle this and it could...

10:17 Adam Oh, shut up. What's up, everyone's ass all the time? I just want to know why you're 19 and a virgin. And I get this whole story about, it is my choice. Don't get all sanctimonious on me. Just tell me what's up. Are you religious? You're waiting for marriage?

10:33 Drew Ask her again. Becky? Hey, what's the reason?

10:37 Caller Oh, well, yeah, I'm waiting for marriage.

10:39 Drew Okay.

10:39 Adam Okay. Is that a religious thing?

10:42 Caller Um, no, not really.

10:43 Drew Is it a health thing you just acknowledge that this is a healthy thing to do?

10:46 Caller Oh, I mean, it's kind of... I would like to spend it, you know, like I would like to share that part of my life with only one person. Call me a romantic, but... That's cool.

10:56 Drew That's cool.

10:56 Adam Good times.

10:57 Drew All right, Becky, text her.

10:57 Caller Wait, but wait, I have one more question.

10:59 Drew Yeah.

11:00 Caller Now, can I feel my hymen?

11:02 Drew You could.

11:04 Caller Yeah. Like when I masturbate and like I put my fingers up, I can feel like a sort of like round piece of skin. I don't know like how to better describe it, like...

11:17 Drew Well...

11:17 Adam That could be the finger from the twin that never fully came to...

11:22 Drew I see, never separated from it?

11:23 Adam Yeah, never separated. There was a womb there. Oh yes, Elvis had that.

11:27 Drew You can feel your cervix, some women can be kind of low, but you gotta be reaching up there pretty high to get that.

11:33 Caller My cervix? Would it be my hymen?

11:36 Drew It could be, or it could be your cervix. It's again, you're not...

11:40 Adam Look, the guy will believe you're a virgin.

11:42 Drew Yeah, it's not an issue for a guy, believe me.

11:45 Adam Good times. It's funny, for someone who's a virgin, she's really into the self-exploration.

11:51 Drew Isn't that interesting?

11:52 Adam Big time.

11:52 Drew Yeah, yeah, big time.

11:53 Adam Becky?

11:54 Yes.

11:54 Adam You a big gal?

11:56 No.

11:57 A little bit?

11:58 No.

11:58 Adam A little bit?

11:59 No.

12:00 Adam I'm just playing a hunch.

12:01 Come on.

12:01 Adam Why? I got the big gal thing going.

12:03 Drew She's got the vibe.

12:05 Adam She's got the vibe. How tall are you?

12:08 Caller Five nine.

12:09 What do you weigh?

12:11 Caller My nightgown.

12:13 Adam What do you weigh?

12:14 Caller Oh, what do I weigh? Oh, 130, 125.

12:18 Adam All right, all right. Good times.

12:21 Caller Okay.

12:21 Adam All right.

12:22 Drew We support you. We salute you.

12:23 Adam Wondering what's wrong with her.

12:24 Drew No, no, no, no. Why?

12:26 Adam I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because non-religious chicks that are at 19 and putting everything in the refrigerator up them, but still want to remain a virgin, they're not getting their pick of the letter.

12:39 Drew You got-

12:40 Adam They're not getting a lot of opportunities. Do you know what I mean? They're not going to the parties and having the captain of the football team come by and hit on them.

12:47 Drew But you got to-

12:48 Adam They would have done something.

12:50 Drew Thank God it is finally a different time.

12:51 Adam I'm fine with her.

12:51 Drew It's a different time, Alan, when kids are-

12:53 Adam I wish there was more people like Becky out there.

12:54 Drew Kids are really hearing, right, hearing what happens to them if they don't do this, and they're sort of rethinking it all.

12:58 I'm kind of like chunky.

13:00 Drew Seth?

13:01 Caller Yes?

13:02 Drew 20.

13:02 Adam You're 20. What's up?

13:04 Caller Yeah.

13:04 Caller I have a hydro seal in my-

13:08 Drew Congratulations.

13:10 Adam Yeah.

13:10 Caller And I want to know what it is, what's in it.

13:13 I've had it ever since I was a baby, but-

13:14 Drew It's just a cyst. It's just fluid.

13:17 It's just fluid?

13:18 Drew That's it. They may want to remove it someday or sometimes blood, sometimes sperm, semen.

13:22 Adam Oh, you get semen in there?

13:24 Drew Sperm really is what it is. Spermatosil. Okay.

13:27 Adam Well, what's the difference between the sperm and the semen?

13:30 Drew Semen is the stuff that your prostate produces that hasn't been mixed in with the sperm yet.

13:33 Adam So it would just be pure sperm? Yeah. Very potent. Hey Seth, good times. Can you feel it in your sack?

13:40 Caller Yeah.

13:40 I thought it was a tumor.

13:42 Drew Yeah, but tumors aren't smooth and round like that.

13:44 Caller Yeah. So I got it checked by a doctor and she's going to send me to a urologist.

13:49 Drew Good man. That's the thing to do. They'll probably either put a needle in or take it out. It's a pretty simple deal.

13:53 Caller All right.

13:54 Drew Thanks.

13:55 Adam Good times.

13:55 Caller Bye.

13:56 Adam Put a needle in it and what? Drain it? Yeah.

13:58 Drew Notice how that slipped right past him. Oh good. Oh, phew. Needle in my testing. No problem.

14:02 Adam Needle in the sack.

14:03 Drew I noticed you sort of jump when I said that.

14:06 Adam I know. I didn't catch young Ceci or that needle in the sack. It's like you have some kind of voodoo sack or something. Do voodoo dolls still work? Have we just gotten away from that?

14:17 Drew Oh yes.

14:18 Adam Drew punches the mic. What are we? 14 minutes of the show? Fantastic.

14:22 Drew It's vanished with the souffle humor.

14:25 Adam I'm telling you kids, there used to be voodoo dolls about every third or fourth episode of like...

14:33 Drew Anything that wasn't a western.

14:34 Adam Dark shadows or Twilight Zone or something. The voodoo doll was a completely realistic, completely viable method to punish somebody.

14:42 Drew Yes, that was part of the American culture at the time.

14:45 Adam It was right up there with like Spanish fly in that it sounded pretty ridiculous, but on the other hand, you heard about it so much it must exist. It must be worse. Drew, use the microphone. You know that thing you punch?

14:58 Drew I know.

14:59 Adam You got to talk into it.

15:00 Drew I want to make a list of the things that we have lost since the 70s, the things that were really truly true.

15:06 Adam You really think this could be worth a damn at the end of the night? And Ann, is there going to be anything on that list that I didn't put there? David?

15:14 Hey.

15:15 Adam You're 18. What's up?

15:16 Caller Hey, I have a lot of problems remembering things and like concentration stuff.

15:22 Adam Yeah, me too.

15:23 Drew You had that your whole life?

15:27 Caller As far as I can remember, but it's probably not saying much, but yeah.

15:31 Drew Because you can't remember, is that what you mean?

15:33 Caller Yeah.

15:34 Drew So you had a sudden decline in your capacity for memory? Is that right?

15:40 Caller Can you say it again?

15:41 Adam All right, hold on. This show is going to go on for 45 minutes because we got Drew over here who talks like he's speaking the Queen's English and then we got a retard over here who can't remember anything and we're going to chase our tails.

15:52 Drew All right, go ahead.

15:53 Adam You let me talk.

15:53 Drew I'll take it.

15:54 Adam I'll work as a sort of an intermediary.

15:55 Drew Retard to retard.

15:56 Adam Right. Dave? You do any drugs?

16:00 No.

16:00 Adam Do you ever get hit in the head?

16:03 Yeah.

16:04 Adam Yeah, anything big? Knocked down?

16:07 Drew Lose consciousness?

16:08 Adam No. No, okay. Were you always this way as far as you can remember?

16:13 Yeah.

16:15 Adam And how do you do in school?

16:17 Caller Well, it wasn't really good. Like, I had a lot of trouble, like say I was doing work and stuff. I get, I have a lot of trouble remembering what the teacher says or whatever. And then like I get really tired and have a lot of headaches and stuff.

16:33 Adam Do you have anything that you do remember? Like, do you have a sport that you like? Not really.

16:39 Drew Have you seen a doctor for this?

16:41 Caller I did once.

16:43 Drew How long ago?

16:46 He doesn't remember.

16:47 Caller I'd probably say within a year.

16:49 Drew Okay.

16:51 And?

16:53 Caller I think she said that, well, I was sent to get a CAT scan.

16:58 Drew Good.

16:58 Caller Because they thought it was, you know, probably since around like that.

17:02 Drew And?

17:02 Caller And well, everybody came, they said there was nothing, they didn't find anything.

17:06 Drew So the CAT scan was normal?

17:07 Caller Yeah.

17:08 Drew Have you been evaluated for a learning disability?

17:10 Caller No.

17:11 Drew That's what you ought to do. I mean, it seems to me you ought to keep going down that path. It's tricky if this is a new, there are very, very simple ways to evaluate this.

17:18 Adam Well, what if you find out you have a learning disability?

17:20 Drew They can be treated now. They really can. Really? How? It depends what the disability is. If you were in high school now, If I was? Yeah, they'd take you and go, oh, Christ, what's the matter with this kid? And they'd evaluate, they'd give you neuropsych testing, and they'd evaluate what kinds of things can be done to help sort of re-circuit your brain a little.

17:37 Adam I didn't have anything wrong with me, though.

17:39 Drew You just couldn't learn. Well, as far as you were concerned, you were fine.

17:42 Adam No, I couldn't read, because I never learned to read, and I was a horrible student, really sort of based on, listen, being a student is no different than playing a sport in that I suck at golf, and it's because I never played.

17:58 Drew But they could detect that, you know, they could maybe give you ways to overcome that.

18:02 Adam Yeah, they could help my game out a little bit.

18:04 Drew They could focus on the fundamentals.

18:06 Adam But you know what, let me tell you something, never be half as good as someone who started early.

18:10 Drew That's true.

18:10 Adam So it was like kind of a lost cause anyway. But listen, we don't have to make everyone a good student. I was a god-awful student, and if they got to me and worked with me enough, I could have just been a bad or poor student, still wouldn't have went to college, still wouldn't have ever made a difference.

18:26 Drew You don't know that. I imagine you'd be ruling the world right now.

18:29 Adam No, listen, this-

18:30 Drew Philosopher warrior.

18:31 Adam Let me tell you something about college. Waste of time unless you're going to go to the next level. You want to be a doctor or a lawyer, you need your advanced degree, fine, do it. Other than that, it's just a bunch of nonsense.

18:42 Drew I could not disagree with you more strongly.

18:44 Adam I know. You think you learn how to learn. You think you learn how to-

18:49 Drew Some people do.

18:49 Adam Gather knowledge.

18:50 Drew Yeah, some people do.

18:51 Adam Idiots do. Please, Drew, it's no help. And with the internet, kids don't need it these days. Yesi?

19:00 Caller Yeah, hi.

19:01 Adam What kind of name is Yesi?

19:02 Caller Oh, it's short for Yesenia.

19:04 Adam Oh, that's nice. What kind of name is that?

19:06 Caller I have no idea.

19:08 Caller No!

19:09 Adam What's your nationality?

19:11 Caller I'm Hispanic.

19:11 Adam Okay, well, it's Hispanic then.

19:13 Caller I guess so.

19:14 Adam There you go. Okay, it's always a little ringing that has to go on on this show. Just come out and say what you are. Never happen. Never gonna happen.

19:24 Drew What's up?

19:25 Caller Okay, well, my brother, he sleeps in the same room as my mom and my dad.

19:31 Drew Why?

19:32 Adam Your brother knowing or is it your younger brother maybe?

19:35 Caller My younger brother and whatever. They just tell him to go to sleep. He sleeps in the same bed with them.

19:44 Drew Wow.

19:45 Caller Yeah, I know.

19:47 Drew Why is that? Is there an economic reason for that or they just?

19:50 Caller No, because he's just a little scary cat.

19:53 Drew No, that is not good for him. That is not good for him.

19:56 Adam Being 11 and sleeping in the bed with him?

19:58 Drew That is not good for him.

19:59 Adam Every night?

20:01 Caller Yeah, he doesn't have a chicken. He has his own room. He doesn't want to sleep in his own room.

20:04 Drew Listen, it's a much more difficult process for the parent to go through to get him to sleep in his room and that's the parent job, to do that.

20:13 So your parents need to do their work.

20:15 Adam What do you care other than you have a screwy brother? I mean, does it affect you?

20:20 Caller Me?

20:20 Adam Yeah.

20:21 Caller Well, like it bugs me. I don't know. Every time I see like my dad was like the way they think he's asleep and they just have sex and my brother sees it, you know, and like it happens to him.

20:31 Drew Do your parents know that he sees it or that he just told you?

20:34 Caller Well, I told my mom once and she didn't care. Wow.

20:37 Adam Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. Your brother goes into your parents' bedroom to sleep with them, right?

20:43 Caller Yeah.

20:43 Adam Your parents think he's asleep and they have sex.

20:46 Caller Yep.

20:47 Adam On the same bed.

20:48 Caller Well, yeah. They get crazy all over the place basically.

20:52 Adam All over the place. And then how do you know about this?

20:55 Caller Because my little brother tells me and you could hear him.

20:57 Drew I think you should call Child Protection Services. I really do.

21:00 Adam Really?

21:01 Drew Yeah, I do.

21:02 Caller For real?

21:02 Drew Yeah, I do.

21:03 Adam Well, wait a minute. What's your dad do for a living?

21:05 Caller He's a manager for SNH Health.

21:08 Adam All right. Is that that food company?

21:11 Caller No, it's like tools. Oh, great.

21:14 Adam Tools? Does he work at a tool place?

21:17 Caller Well, like tools, they have like stereos and they have like a lot of stuff.

21:22 Adam I'm down with both those things. Okay. Your dad's a manager. You got a decent house?

21:27 Caller Yeah.

21:28 Adam Your mom's a housewife or?

21:30 Caller No, she works. All right.

21:31 Adam So everyone has their own room, right?

21:33 Caller Yeah.

21:34 Adam And what is what is your brother? You got to get your brother to stay in his room. You got to talk to your mom. She sounds sane. Talk to your mom and say that your brother needs to.

21:43 Drew No, he already told her. She told her mom.

21:45 Adam What does your mom say when you tell her this?

21:47 Caller Well, she basically tells her like, is that our business or whatever?

21:51 Drew Well, you got to listen to child protective services.

21:53 Adam What does she say to them?

21:55 Drew Say, listen, they're not going to take the kids away for this kind of thing, but they're going to pull the parents aside and go, hey, cut it out, which is what they need. Some little parenting classes will help with that.

22:05 Adam What about your dad? Can you talk to him?

22:07 Caller Um, I can't. Sometimes I like hate, like, well, I don't hate my dad, but just grosses me out. I just like, I look at him, I can just like picture them having sex and just...

22:15 Drew Did he do something to you or did he make you watch something?

22:17 Caller Um, no.

22:19 Caller Huh? No.

22:20 Caller Come here and give me a hug!

22:23 Drew Did he have a lot of pornography around, that kind of thing when you were growing up?

22:26 Caller Yeah.

22:27 Drew See, that's not good.

22:28 Adam Did he ever touch you?

22:29 Caller No.

22:30 Drew That's not good.

22:30 Caller No.

22:32 Drew Just all that sex stuff.

22:32 Adam Does he drink?

22:34 Caller No, he stopped drinking.

22:35 He stopped like four years ago.

22:37 Adam Oh, after he touched you?

22:39 Drew Listen, you gotta... I mean, this is a salvageable situation.

22:42 Caller I hope he never touched me.

22:43 Drew Yeah, yes, you need some help with this. You really do. And just your exposure to all that material at a young age can really affect you.

22:49 Caller Yeah.

22:50 Drew It'll affect how she feels about men.

22:52 Adam You know, one good night of gas would get your brother right out of there. You know what I mean? Just dad just blowing that big Mexican ass all night. You know, don't you think that would do it?

23:03 Drew Oh yeah. That's in fact one of the most standard treatments for this kind of situation.

23:07 Caller The thing that bugs me the more is that like my brother makes it seem like he likes seeing my parents do it or whatever.

23:13 Adam All right. Okay. Call, I don't know, Drew, tell her what to do.

23:17 Drew Call Social Services, okay?

23:18 Adam How does she call them?

23:20 Drew Give me the book. Where's our black book?

23:21 Adam What's up with parents? I can't...

23:24 Drew I know. Welcome to America. Give me the book.

23:27 Adam This is not America anymore. What book?

23:29 Drew The Black Book Center.

23:30 Adam I'm not giving you the book. Forget about it. Just tell her to look in the front of the phone book.

23:34 Drew Social Services.

23:35 Adam Front of the phone book has everything. All those numbers, right? You want to know how many people the Hollywood Bowl holds? You look in the front of the phone book. Now, we're taking a break, Drew. So look in the front of the phone book has all those emergency numbers, every number. She doesn't even have a pen on her. Just look in the front of the phone book. All right, we're going to take a break, we'll be back.

23:57 Caller Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191.

24:07 Adam Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. So, Drew, why don't you? And this will go out to everybody who may want to get ready with a pen and pencil, who may think they may need to call one of these numbers. We'll take a call, and then Drew will read a number off. All right?

24:25 Drew Just a random number?

24:26 Adam Any number. And in no particular order.

24:30 Drew I think I've got a national line here.

24:31 Adam All right. But let's take a call and let our last caller was at the... What was that?

24:36 Drew What the hell was the number?

24:37 Adam Yesi. Yesi. Yesi can pick up a pencil and a piece of paper. And after this call, we'll give that number out. And anyone else can write it down who may need the services. Justin?

24:50 Caller Yo, what's up, dawg?

24:52 Adam He's 22. Yeah.

24:54 Caller Drew, Adam, you guys are awesome, man. I listen to y'all all the time.

24:58 Adam Thanks.

24:59 Caller And I got a request. I heard some kind of Dr. Drew rap like the Dr. Drew shuffle.

25:04 Adam Oh, yeah.

25:05 Drew Boogie was one of the raps.

25:06 Adam We had the boogie and the shuffle.

25:08 Caller Did you play the shuffle?

25:10 Adam I think we played the Dr. Drew boogie on his birthday a couple of times. I don't know if we ever played the shuffle.

25:16 Drew We played both.

25:17 Adam Oh, we did play both. All right.

25:19 Caller Yeah, it cracked me up, man.

25:20 Drew And there's apparently a new piece of, you know, Anderson saying no. Well, I let Adam pre-screen it before the next break, before the next segment, because there's a Pan Pan parody.

25:30 Adam All right. But no one knows who Pan Pan is and Anderson's not high on it. So forget it. Say, Justin. Yeah.

25:36 Yeah. Yeah.

25:37 Caller Well, I called because I got like an anger problem and I get mad a lot and I hurt people and stuff.

25:42 You know, how do you hurt them?

25:44 Caller Beat them up and stuff, you know. I'm a skinhead and all that.

25:50 Adam We are. Wait a minute.

25:51 Drew You live in Cincinnati?

25:52 Adam What kind of skinhead?

25:53 Drew Wait, listen.

25:54 Adam Is a white skinhead?

25:56 Caller Yeah.

25:57 Adam He sound black.

25:58 Caller No, I'm a pure white Christian man.

26:01 Drew How did I know he's from Cincinnati?

26:03 Adam It says Ohio. No, I got it.

26:05 Drew Yeah. But we have other cities in Ohio. I'm telling you, I've been to Cincinnati a few times last year and there is such like anger in that city. It's like it's palpable. Everybody.

26:16 Adam Oh, yeah. You were saying that.

26:17 Drew Remember that?

26:17 Adam Yeah.

26:18 Drew And Justin just sounds like he feels like that city feels. I don't know what the hell is going on in that time.

26:23 Adam Well, skinheads don't like blacks, right?

26:26 Caller Well, I just recently became one. It's like, I'm sure you guys heard about the riots and all that.

26:32 Adam Yeah, recently became a skinhead. I'm glad to have you aboard.

26:36 Caller I've always been angry, man, and that really set it off.

26:40 Adam But you know, the thing that I find ironic is I thought Justin was black for the first minute and a half I was talking to him. That's ironic that he's a skinhead.

26:49 Caller I used to be a Crip.

26:52 Adam Used to be a Crip?

26:53 Caller Yeah.

26:54 Adam Wait a second.

26:55 Drew Isn't that white Crip?

26:57 Caller No.

26:57 Adam Don't you got to be black to be a Crip?

27:00 Caller I used to be with mass black people and all that.

27:04 Drew Now I'm totally confused.

27:05 Adam Hold on. You used to be a Crip, which I thought an exclusively black gang.

27:13 Caller No.

27:14 Adam Really? What if the bloods are looking for some... Well, they're expanding. That's what you're letting Jews in next thing you know.

27:21 Caller I was looking to see how I could deal with my anger, man.

27:24 Adam Okay.

27:24 Caller All right.

27:25 Adam Well, that's trouble. Well, what do you do for a living?

27:28 Caller Car wash.

27:29 Adam Well, that's seems like a good place to spend your time. I mean, if you're angry, you can throw those soapy towels at cars. You do? What do you get? You get tips?

27:39 Caller Yeah. You get tips. Yeah.

27:40 Adam Okay.

27:41 Caller Six bucks an hour plus tips. I usually bring home about 80 bucks and tips a day.

27:44 Caller Wow.

27:46 Adam 80 bucks and tips.

27:47 That's pretty good.

27:49 Adam That ain't too bad. Plus, whatever change you can get out of the ashtray, right?

27:53 Caller No. I stole some roaches before. That's right. Yeah.

27:57 Adam What are they going to do? Come back and complain? Someone took my drugs. Hey, Justin, let me give you a quick tip. Speaking of tips and car washes, and spread it around throughout the car wash community. Hopefully, it'll start in Ohio and make its way out to California. Feel free to put the goddamn seat back where it was when you got into the car. Every guy who works at a car wash out here in LA is a midget. I'm 6'2, and I got to blow myself to crawl back into my car.

28:22 Drew Go ahead and push the number one button. That's all you got to do.

28:24 Adam Oh, me?

28:25 Drew No. I mean, these guys resetting the seat. It's not like they have to get it back. They just push the reset button. Is it the reset?

28:30 Adam It was. My rear-view mirror faces down to the console. The seat's pushed up past the steering wheel. I used a sun visor as a headrest for the first couple. The first couple of miles.

28:41 Drew Well, Justin, listen, I'm just curious about that town because when I walk around, I think to myself, man, every parent in this town must use a whip to discipline their kids.

28:51 Caller I'll tell you how it is, man. Everybody's angry around here, man.

28:55 Drew I know. I've been there. I feel it. But do you think... My sort of take on this is because parents probably beat the crap out of their kids in that town because they're angry too.

29:03 Caller I really didn't. That really didn't happen to me, but I know people that have happened to me.

29:09 Adam Well, Justin, let me ask you this. Do you have any plans for the future?

29:14 Caller Well, yeah. I kind of like want to be a boxer or something.

29:19 Drew That's good. That's a good way to channel that anger.

29:21 Adam Start training.

29:21 Drew Yeah. That's excellent.

29:23 Caller I've been training.

29:24 Adam Okay. Where do you train?

29:27 Caller I train at Golden Buzz.

29:28 Adam Okay. Well, you stick with that. That helps with your anger.

29:32 Caller Yeah. I mean, that's why I got into it.

29:33 Drew And whatever you do, do not get into like drugs, particularly not stimulants, because that will accelerate all this and you'll do something insane.

29:39 Adam Right. Smoke that weed and hit that heavy bag and you'll be fine. And Drew, I don't know, what's he do? Join an anger management group or something? I don't know if he's going to do that.

29:50 Drew I doubt it's going to work. But I mean, I think having for him ways to act, his constructive ways to act out his anger, but he needs to focus on containing things, not on accelerating all this. So maybe get out of some of these provocative kinds of groups he's in. Because skinhead is a sort of way to act that all out, like massage all that craziness.

30:06 Adam Buddy?

30:07 Caller Yes.

30:08 Adam Year 19?

30:09 Caller Yes.

30:09 Adam What's up?

30:11 Caller I believe my mother is a schizophrenic. I am away at college. I'm about four and a half hours away from home. And she thinks she's going to marry God. We've managed to get my sister out of there.

30:27 Adam Is she dating God at this point? I mean, does she have a ring?

30:31 Caller I mean, how old is she? It's pretty intense.

30:34 Drew How old is she?

30:35 Caller She is 43.

30:37 Drew In schizophrenia, it does not come out of 43. She is either doing drugs.

30:41 Caller Okay. She was doing drugs. And I know that cocaine can do a very similar effect.

30:46 Drew Speed. This is speed probably. Cocaine. No, cocaine should be by herself in a dark room looking out the window at policemen running around. Speed makes people very grandiose, very paranoid about their family and friends, and real wildly psychotic. Or it can induce or this could be a manic episode which cocaine can leave behind. Manic depressive type biology. And in whatever it is, she needs to be in a psychiatric hospital and needs to move out. There is treatment for it.

31:11 Adam You want to know, by the way, how you know all these serious born agains and god nuts or, you know, you know how they're all insane? Because the first thing a person does when they snap mentally is go right to Jesus. Think about it. So I mean, they think they're his child or they think they're going to marry him, right? The people that are like the born agains are about halfway there normally. That's just halfway insane. You know what I mean? Nobody goes nuts and believes there's no god and they have no relation to him. They go nuts and think they are god or going to marry god, right?

31:45 Caller As an atheist, I agree totally.

31:46 Adam Right, so the ones that think that they are going to live in god's palace the second they die and believe all that nonsense, they are about half nuts. That's about it. They are functionally nuts.

31:57 Drew Think about it, Drew.

31:59 Adam Do the math.

31:59 Drew No, you are using logic to describe something that is not logical.

32:03 Adam Thank you.

32:05 Drew What we need is proof that that part of the brain is activated in the same way.

32:11 Adam Put it this way. You snap and go wacko. You think you are going to marry God or you think you are a God.

32:17 Drew Here is what I mean. If you are alone in jail, in solitary, that's when you see God. Every time.

32:24 Adam Hold on a second. What should he do first?

32:26 Drew The question then becomes, though, is that because your brain is receptive in that kind of condition or is that because of anything?

32:31 Adam The nuttier you are, the closer to God you get. What should Buddy do?

32:36 Drew You have to call the police. You have to get her to the hospital. She is what is called gravely impaired and they will take her in against her will.

32:40 Adam They will?

32:40 Caller Well, I tried, okay. She is also addictive. She has alcohol. I visited maybe two weeks ago and she was really drunk and they said that they wouldn't take her in because of that. So, and I'm away from home. Can I like call them remotely and tell them that?

32:56 Drew I would think so. And again, when somebody is gravely impaired, they have a responsibility to bring her in. And this could be related to alcohol. She could have alcoholic liver disease. This could be what's called encephalopathy. She could have brain damage from the alcohol. There's a lot of things that can cause this also.

33:09 Adam Let me tell you, my parents haven't lost it yet. But the day they do, that's when I put them down. Just like a pet that tried to bite the kids. You know what I mean?

33:18 Drew You need to put them to sleep. Yeah.

33:21 Adam I think everyone agrees. It's sort of the humane thing to do.

33:23 Drew Again, we could sort of dial back the clock to the 70s when people were put in hospitals with guys in white suits, with big nets and straight jackets, with everyday occurrence.

33:31 Adam I'm going to chase my dad around with a big butterfly after a while.

33:34 Drew And he'll, of course, consider himself Napoleon.

33:36 Adam That's what I'm looking for. I'm looking for when people go nuts, they think they're Napoleon.

33:41 Drew And then we apply a straight jacket. What's a straight jacket?

33:46 Yeah?

33:47 Adam You're 13?

33:48 Caller Yeah.

33:48 Adam What's up?

33:50 Caller I like this guy a lot, and I was wondering if I can tell if he likes me or not.

33:57 Adam How old is he?

33:59 Caller He's the same age as I am.

34:00 Drew 13.

34:01 Yeah.

34:02 Adam Sound like she was going to say 19.

34:03 Drew I heard that too.

34:04 Adam Yeah. Is he in your classes or does he go to school with you?

34:07 Caller Yeah, he goes to the same school as I do. He's in my literature class and he's in my PE class. He's in a couple of my classes.

34:16 Drew Why don't you ask him?

34:17 Adam Wait a minute. Hold on. He's in your PE class?

34:21 Caller Yeah.

34:22 Adam You guys have co-ed PE?

34:24 Caller Yeah.

34:25 Adam You go to a private school?

34:26 Caller No.

34:27 Adam I got the co-ed PE going in public schools now?

34:29 Drew Yeah.

34:30 Adam Holy Christ. What's next?

34:32 Drew You didn't let me get over that phone number. I'm going to do a prevent child abuse phone number. Two of them. 1-800-CHILDREN. Okay. 1-800-CHILDREN. That's 244-5373. What? Relax. Hang on. This isn't for you necessarily.

34:46 Adam Okay.

34:46 Drew And the other is 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

34:49 Adam All right. 1-800-4-A-CHILD. So anyway, Brittany. Yeah? Do you talk to him? Are you friendly with him?

34:56 Caller Yeah. I try to be, but he's like really shy and he kind of like, I don't know. I don't know. Like I was wondering like if I should like ask my friends, say like ask him?

35:06 Drew No, ask him to the move. Yeah. Well, no, just ask him to the move. Well, guys, you know, guys don't mind the same.

35:11 Adam He's 13, right?

35:12 Drew Yeah.

35:12 Adam So he's kind of squirrely.

35:14 Drew Yeah. Guys don't need a woman stepping up to the plate. You know what I mean? It's not as important for a guy or a woman herself come. If he finds out that she's interested through a friend, it's just as good as any other way if he's interested.

35:25 Adam But here's the problem with 13. You may be unable to act as a guy.

35:31 Drew Right. So she can ask him to do a movie or something. Let's say I've got an idea. Let's go do something. And no matter how sort of squirrely he seems, push it a little bit.

35:39 Adam Well, I mean, yeah, don't club him over the head and drag him to the theater if he doesn't want to go. I want you, are you going to see him tomorrow? Yeah. I want you to wear like some hip huggers or something. Important to put together a sexy package. And talk to him. Talk to him about movies. Is there a movie you want to see?

36:03 Caller No particular one.

36:04 Adam OK. It's important to think of a particular movie.

36:08 Drew Yeah.

36:09 Adam Anything out there right now?

36:11 Drew Research it ahead.

36:12 Adam Not really. You're living in Riverside?

36:15 Drew Yeah.

36:16 Adam All right. So probably not the new movies playing there. But I think like Tora Tora Tora is playing somewhere or Clockwork Orange or something like that. What movies are in Riverside right now? What year are we in Riverside? 1975? 74? Where are we?

36:30 Drew American Graffiti is playing down the street.

36:31 I'm sure of it.

36:35 Adam You guys are going to get a crappy car there soon called the K-Car. It came out in 1979. Don't buy it. It's bad.

36:41 Drew That gremlin is going to go though.

36:43 Caller All right.

36:45 Let's see.

36:46 Caller There's like Jeepers Creepers and stuff like that.

36:48 Adam Jeepers Creepers. There you go. There's a scary movie.

36:51 Drew And you pick it and get the time and get buy the tickets and.

36:54 Adam No, no, no, don't buy the tickets.

36:56 Drew All right. Well, get the guy.

36:58 Adam Look, I'll be the guy. OK, you be Drew. Drew, you be Brittany. Ready? Now, Brittany, you be Brittany. What's the guy's name?

37:07 Caller I don't want to say because you might be.

37:08 Drew All right. We'll just take a pic of Bill.

37:11 Adam Let's call him Bill.

37:12 Caller Yeah.

37:12 Adam OK. Now you come up. I'll be Bill. The guy who's playing the guy you want to go. Go ahead. Ready? Bring the movie up.

37:21 Caller OK.

37:21 Adam Hey, Brittany.

37:22 Caller Hi.

37:28 Caller I don't know.

37:29 Caller He's like really hard to talk to.

37:30 Caller I don't know.

37:31 Adam Yeah, I am Bill. So talk to me. Hey, what's happening?

37:35 Caller Nothing much.

37:37 Adam Yeah.

37:40 Caller I don't think I'm going to ask him to a movie.

37:44 Adam No, you don't. Don't ask him to a movie. Ask him. Ask him. Just bring up movies.

37:50 Drew You've seen in movies lately.

37:52 Oh, yeah.

37:53 Adam Go ahead. You see?

37:54 Drew Well, no, but you wait.

37:54 OK.

37:55 Adam Here's OK. All right. Here it is. I'll be Brittany. You'll be Bill. All right. OK. Are you ready? Here goes. Hey, how's it going there, Bill?

38:05 Caller This is that's exactly what he does.

38:07 Adam No, no, stay in character.

38:08 Drew Just be Bill. Just be Bill. How are you doing?

38:10 Adam How are you doing, Bill? Fine. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have a good weekend? Yeah, yeah, me too. I was I was going to see Saturday. I was going to see that Cheapers Creepers. I want to see that movie, but I didn't get a chance to. Stupid brother Kurt is boffing his girlfriend. He wouldn't give me a ride to the movie theater. But I really want to see that movie.

38:28 Caller That sucks.

38:29 Adam Yeah. Do you see you see those billboards around?

38:33 Caller Not really.

38:34 Adam I didn't see that. Do you ever heard of that Jeepers Creepers?

38:38 Yeah.

38:38 Adam Yeah. Pretty scary, huh?

38:40 I guess.

38:41 Adam Yeah. I like scary movies. You like scary movies?

38:43 No.

38:45 Drew Perfect. She's being good Bill.

38:48 Adam Yeah. I like comedies too. You like comedies? What kind of movies you like?

38:54 Caller Crappy movies.

38:55 Adam I heard that Jeepers Creepers sucks.

38:58 Drew It's a crappy movie.

38:59 Adam Yeah. I'm going to see that. I think I'm going to see that this weekend. You ever think about seeing that movie?

39:05 Caller Yeah.

39:05 Caller I guess.

39:06 Adam Yeah. I'm going to go on Saturday. You want to go with me?

39:10 Caller I have plans.

39:11 Caller That's exactly what he does.

39:12 Seriously.

39:14 Adam Don't ask him.

39:15 Drew He doesn't want to go out.

39:16 Caller No.

39:17 Adam Plan to get the pepper spray out.

39:19 Caller Yeah.

39:19 Drew If he absolutely roadblocks you and Stonewall is going to forget.

39:23 Caller No. One time. Okay.

39:24 Adam All right. Listen. Hold on. Hold on. I'm getting old here. I got to shave. You ask him about that. You bring up a movie. Just bring up a movie. If he likes you, he'll tell you he wants to see that movie. If he doesn't like you, he'll tell you he doesn't want to see it and he's not interested. Okay. Okay. You know what I'm saying?

39:42 Drew Yeah. I have plans is like forget it. I have plans.

39:46 Adam Right. Game off. We'll take a break. Producer Ann, big Chargers fan.

39:57 Caller Oh yeah.

39:59 Adam Big Charger victory today. There's the mic.

40:01 Drew Here we go.

40:02 Adam Looking good. Flutie and Company over there. All right, let's... Fluky. Fluky. Let's get to some calls here. Josie?

40:12 Yes.

40:12 Adam You're 21?

40:13 Caller Yeah.

40:14 Adam What's up?

40:16 Caller Every time, well, about 98% of the time, when me and my fiance have sex, and when he ejaculates, he says it hurts.

40:23 Drew It hurts him?

40:24 Caller Yeah, for him.

40:25 Drew Does it hurt afterward? It hurts immediately? What hurts? Does it burn when he pees? What's the deal?

40:29 Caller No, I asked him if it hurts when he pees, and he says no.

40:32 Drew Does he get pain, like, under his, behind his testes, kind of, up in there?

40:36 Caller No, just in the shaft.

40:38 Drew He gets pain in the shaft during the ejaculation?

40:41 Caller Yeah, that's what he says.

40:43 Drew Hmm. Does he have any bending or anything like that weird in his penis?

40:47 Caller No.

40:49 Adam Is he having an intercourse with you when this happens?

40:53 Caller Yeah.

40:54 Adam What about when he whacks off? Does it hurt?

40:56 Caller Um, he doesn't, well, as far as I know, he doesn't.

41:01 Drew Don't you ask him, don't you say, honey, do you whack off? Is that what you're saying?

41:04 Caller Well, I do ask him, but he says no.

41:05 Drew Oh.

41:06 Caller He gets plenty of sex. Why should he jack off?

41:09 Drew Because he's a male.

41:10 Adam We don't have enough time for me to really get into the nuances of that answer.

41:14 Drew The Josie was very headstrong in the way she presented it.

41:16 Adam He can make time, believe me. Yeah, she's scaring me a little. Does he, maybe he has a little prostate problem, maybe a little infection or something, Drew?

41:28 Drew Pain in the shaft is kind of a weird symptom. Are you insisting, are you demanding he have more sex than he wants to? Uh-uh.

41:36 Adam Uh-uh?

41:36 Drew Uh-uh. Okay. Are you sure he doesn't say, oh, guy, we just did it two hours ago, I can't quite keep up or anything?

41:43 Caller I don't like that, man.

41:44 Adam Well, tell him to beat one out and see if it hurts when he does that.

41:48 Drew Yeah.

41:49 Adam He might as well. Masturbating is sort of like hooking a car up to the dynamometer, which is it's not exactly a road test, but you can simulate it and still figure out what's wrong with it without going out on the road.

42:03 Drew He needs to see a doctor if there is still continue to be pain, because I suspect if he described his symptoms more accurately, we'd be able to figure it out better. But pain in the shaft is not a typical symptom.

42:15 Adam Sarah, the doctor said you might have polycystic ovarian disease.

42:21 Caller I guess it's a syndrome.

42:22 Caller I don't know.

42:24 Caller I tried to go on the internet and figure out what it was.

42:26 Drew You should. I think the Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston has a big polycystic ovarian sort of, if not sight, they have a huge study going on.

42:34 Adam I went on a tour of it when I was in junior high.

42:36 Caller I couldn't understand half of it.

42:38 Drew All right. Well, it's a common syndrome. It's, Hallmark is, people are typically slightly overweight. And there's usually a multiple cyst formation over these irregular periods. And the big reason for trying to identify this now is that it's associated with sort of a diabetic kind of condition. And it certainly is important to get on that very early as it can prevent complications down the line.

43:01 Adam Amanda?

43:02 Caller Hello? Yeah.

43:04 Adam What's up?

43:05 Caller Um, I, my boyfriends, uh, live in, uh, Arizona and stuff. So I only get to see them once a year. And I went to this party this past weekend and I got a hickey from this guy. And yeah, I want to know how to get rid of this hickey because it's so huge.

43:23 Adam When are you going to see your boyfriend again?

43:25 Caller Um, May for prom.

43:28 Drew It'll be gone by May.

43:29 Adam Yeah, it'll be gone by probably March.

43:31 Caller But my parents.

43:32 Adam Oh, your parents.

43:33 Drew Is it on your neck?

43:34 Caller Yeah, it's really, really dark too. It's like massive.

43:38 Drew Oh, boy.

43:39 Adam What kind of strategy is that?

43:41 Drew Yeah, guys don't do that, do they?

43:43 Adam I thought they stopped giving hickeys.

43:45 Drew Well, women still kind of have to sort of mark their territory a little bit, I think.

43:49 Adam Guys giving hickeys, huh? Big on the neck. Drew, is there any way, ice, a steak? What happened to putting a steak on something? That used to cure stuff.

43:58 Drew A steak on the eye.

43:58 Adam A steak on that black eye?

44:00 Drew A steak on black eye.

44:01 Adam Yeah.

44:02 Drew Very funny.

44:04 Adam Man, that's before your time. Guys used to put a steak on their black eye.

44:09 Drew Fred Flintstone, typically.

44:11 Adam I don't know. Well, you know, makeup would help, right?

44:14 Caller I tried that.

44:16 It doesn't work.

44:17 Adam What's a hickey good for these days? Five days, a week, something like that? It could be around for a little bit.

44:22 Drew Maybe change your, you know, where on the neck is it? In the front?

44:26 Adam Yeah.

44:26 Drew Can you work high collars or bow tie? I don't know.

44:30 Adam Drew, is there any possible excuse for a hickey or a hickey-like mark around the neck?

44:38 Drew Yeah, like a tennis ball at full throttle.

44:41 Adam You play any sports? Yeah.

44:43 Caller No.

44:43 Drew An ice hockey puck?

44:45 Caller Oh, no.

44:48 Adam I'm trying to think.

44:49 Drew Yeah.

44:52 Adam I know what I know. Tell them you were doing an auto-erotic asphyxiation experiment where you took your bathrobe tie and you tied it around your neck and you were hanging yourself while you're masturbating and that's what caused the mark. That should suffice, right?

45:05 Drew Yeah. Here's the other parents. They don't want to hear about whatever it is. You know what I'm saying? They're not going to go, What is this? They just say, whatever, move along, move along.

45:15 Adam Yeah, I don't know. Just wear a dickie or a bandana or something like that.

45:19 Drew Bandana, there you go. That's going back.

45:21 Adam Cultivate a look for a week or so until it goes away.

45:25 I'm Scott and we'll be back.

45:35 Adam Hey, Loveline and Adam, that's Drew. All right.

45:58 Drew We got to go up there with them. We do.

45:59 Adam Yes, we have them. Lovely Middle Eastern food with System of a Dam. Adam, that's Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Let's hop back to the phones. And somebody says they have a cure for hickeys, a remedy for hickeys.

46:15 Drew Look at that. If you don't think I'm lame, look at that.

46:18 Adam Punches the mic for the third time in the first hour. I know because it's one of our callers, it's going to be completely useless, but I'll indulge myself anyway. Jessica, you're 18, how do you cure a hickey?

46:33 Caller By either putting a spoon in the freezer and using it to scrape it off basically, or using a lipstick cap and twisting on the hickey, and it'll lighten it a lot. It's not useless information.

46:49 Adam Okay, hold on.

46:49 Drew What you're going to get instead is a giant wound of some type.

46:53 Adam Using a frozen spoon to scrape it off?

46:56 Caller Yeah, because the cold will basically make it go away, I guess. It works.

47:01 Drew That's a nice explanation. The cold will make it go away. That's good.

47:06 Adam All right. Now, wait a second. I understand putting a cold on what is essentially a bruise in a sense, right? Is it a bruise to your body?

47:14 Drew Yeah, it's a petechia. It's a broken capillary.

47:17 Adam So taking a sack, filling it with ice and putting it on a neck would probably help some, right?

47:23 Drew No. In fact, heat is what accelerates the breakdown. Yeah.

47:27 Adam So better to put heat on it.

47:29 Drew Yeah, I would suspect.

47:30 Adam Now, the frozen spoon part and you scraping away, how does that work?

47:34 Drew It doesn't make any sense at all.

47:36 Caller It works. I don't know how it works, but it does.

47:38 Drew You've done it.

47:39 Caller I've done it. I've had friends do it.

47:41 Adam Well, you know what it is. You turn your whole neck beat red and the hickey doesn't show up.

47:45 Drew And by the way, I've never heard that you used the spoon to scrape. You laid the spoon across it was what I was heard.

47:51 Caller Well, I laid the spoon across it whatever it's like.

47:53 Adam But any.

47:53 Drew Well, now wait a bit. Whatever. What did you do exactly?

47:56 Caller Well, I usually use a lipstick cap.

47:59 Drew So you haven't used this project.

48:00 Adam How do you do the lipstick cap?

48:01 Caller Like you use it and put it on the hickey and start twisting kind of thing.

48:05 Adam But what side of the lipstick cap do you use?

48:08 Caller The open side.

48:09 Adam Use the open side. So you put the open side of the lipstick cap on the hickey. And you start twisting it like you're putting out a cigarette?

48:18 Caller Yeah. That definitely works. I tried that one.

48:22 Adam And you just do it on the hickey area, not around it?

48:26 Caller Yeah, on the hickey area.

48:28 Adam What if you just took your thumb or ballpoint pen or something?

48:32 Drew Right.

48:33 Adam Okay. Thank you. How does that? How could that possibly work?

48:36 Drew It couldn't. Or it doesn't make sense anyway.

48:40 Adam An open lipstick cap is like taking a thimble, the open end of a thimble, putting it on your neck and rubbing it into your neck. So basically, her remedy for a hickey is trauma to the affected area.

48:56 Drew Right. I've never heard that you used the pun to scrape. The pun to scrape. That's good.

49:02 Adam Okay. Well, you can try that. Open lipstick cap in a circle. Colin? Yeah. You're 29?

49:10 Caller Hey, you guys are great. Thanks. And if I could give the Academy Award, you would win one for your 13-year-old Bill.

49:18 Very funny.

49:19 Adam Oh, thanks. Yes. Playing the part of 13-year-old Bill?

49:22 Caller Yes. It was very convincing.

49:23 Adam Thank you.

49:23 Drew I think he was playing Brittany, though.

49:25 Adam I did switch to Brittany at a certain point.

49:27 Caller That wasn't as good.

49:28 Adam She played a convincing Bill, though, by the way. She stonewalled me all the way.

49:33 Caller It's as if you played Bill yourself when you were 13.

49:36 Adam Thank you. Oh, yes. The world is your oyster. I mean, because that's all the world is.

49:41 Caller Actually, the world is my oyster.

49:42 Adam We may have a lightning round tonight, by the way. Oh, dope. But the weather has changed. I'd like to get the weather and the time out, maybe some traffic conditions.

49:51 Caller Hey, Thursday, you had questions about pulp and paper industry.

49:55 Drew Oh, yeah.

49:55 Adam Yeah.

49:56 Caller What? Anything specific you want to know about?

49:58 Adam No. It was just sort of the guy called and said he worked at a pulp factory, and I asked him about two questions, and he faded immediately. He had no idea what I was talking about.

50:06 Caller I'm not going to fade for him, man.

50:07 Drew But that's the comedy, you see.

50:08 Adam Yeah. It's better to make fun of people, Colin, not smart people like you. So what's your question, Colin?

50:14 Caller I don't have a question. I wanted to answer your questions.

50:17 Adam Oh, about pulp. All right. I don't know. My question to him was, here was my pulp question. Are there pulp trees? Now, pulp is made from wood.

50:27 Caller Yes.

50:27 Adam Right. And I'm asking when you run a sawmill, a lumber mill, you have a lot of excess material, right? Does that excess, that sawdust, the chips, the stuff, the bark, the stuff they can't sell at the lumber store, does that go into manufacturing pulp?

50:44 Caller Real quickly, chips are made, are used to make paper only. Sawdust and other materials.

50:51 Adam Gets reformed?

50:52 Caller Are to make press board.

50:54 Adam Right.

50:54 Caller Sawdust and shaving.

50:55 Drew How do you separate chips from sawdust?

50:57 Adam Well, chips are chips.

50:59 Caller Chips are made from like the larger sections of a log.

51:04 Adam Oh. All right. And that goes into making the paper. This.

51:07 Drew You know, I love the Pacific Northwest. You know, you spend time there. It's so pretty.

51:12 Adam I was raised there. No, I never go there. Thank you. Robin?

51:17 Caller Yeah.

51:18 Adam You're 18?

51:19 Caller Yeah.

51:19 Adam What's up?

51:21 Caller Okay. I'm an opiate addict. I've been snorting, like, Tylox pills and such for about four years.

51:30 Adam Hold on. What kind of pills?

51:32 Drew It's Vicodin. It's Vicodin as well.

51:34 Caller It's like Vicodin, Tylenol, codeine type things.

51:37 Adam You snort them, huh?

51:38 Caller Yeah. I've been snorting them for about four years.

51:40 Adam How long does that keep you high when you snort one of those?

51:43 Drew About four hours. But you've been just starting up since you were 14.

51:46 Caller Yeah.

51:47 Drew Oh, my God.

51:48 Caller The thing was that my mother had the prescription that would steal it from her. Yeah.

51:51 Drew But at 14 to need that much help escaping feelings must have been just hell you were living in.

51:57 Caller Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, it gets worse. So I tried heroin and such and I overdosed and I haven't tried it since. It's been a year and a couple months since I've done that. But I have a prescription for Oxycontin now and it's my prescription. I have, you know, way too much of it and I've been shooting it like mainlining it.

52:24 Adam How do you do that?

52:27 Caller You take the coating off, you wash the coating off, crush it, mix it with water, cook it up.

52:34 Drew And then non-sterile water, just plain water out of the tap?

52:37 Caller Yeah.

52:37 Drew You're going to get sick and die.

52:39 Adam You will? Shooting that?

52:41 Caller Yeah.

52:41 Drew You're going to get an infection in your heart valves, you're going to get an infection in your skin.

52:44 Caller I get infections in my veins all the time.

52:48 Drew But you're not going to live long with it.

52:50 Adam Wait a minute, Drew. Doesn't cooking up that non-sterile water sterilize it?

52:54 Drew Does she cook it? Yeah.

52:56 Adam Do you say you cooked it up? I cooked it, yeah.

52:58 Drew That's like she stirred it up.

52:59 Adam Wouldn't you?

53:00 Drew That's not going to do that much to her, even some.

53:03 Adam Okay. What should she do? You get to do some saline?

53:06 Caller I want to go into rehab and I know that if I go into rehab, I'm going to need to go into inpatient.

53:12 Drew Have you ever been before?

53:14 Caller No. I've been through detox, where I go in every day and they give me a shot of buprenorphine.

53:21 Drew Oh, buprenax. Okay. How'd that work for you?

53:24 Caller It got me through withdrawal, but it didn't help the issue is that I'm an addict. I keep going back.

53:30 Drew I mean, that's just-

53:30 Caller I want to know if should I take a leave of absence from school? Because I don't want to leave school.

53:36 Drew Take a semester off. Take a semester off. Before you totally screw up and fail out or get sick and die, take a semester off. Do what you got to do to get that semester off and take a semester and focus on your recovery. Yeah. You got to do that, Robin. You've been an opioid addict since you were a young teenager.

53:51 Adam In the big picture, that's nothing. And plus, you're sort of hobbled by this addiction anyway. You're not doing your best work.

54:00 Drew You will either die in the meantime, or get sick and end up in a hospital, or really F up at school. And so it is time. You got to deal with this. Okay. Just take the semester off. Look, listen, it's a medical problem. You deserve a semester off for medical issues. You'll get that. Any doctor treating this would give you that time off in disability too.

54:19 Adam So what are you talking about?

54:21 Drew I mean, in other words, she can have it medically endorsed. And if she, if she had...

54:27 Adam She doesn't need to have it medically endorsed, does she?

54:29 Drew But if she's worried that the school will somehow... You know, some schools are really nasty about this. It's like unless you can prove that you must have the semester off, they'll fail you.

54:37 Adam If it's in the middle of a semester, you mean?

54:39 Drew No matter, anytime.

54:40 Adam You mean before you begin a semester?

54:42 Drew You got to be able to show that there's a reason for this. And she has that reason. That's my point. Not all schools, but some. Listen, I had professors that said the only excuse they would accept was my death. Oh, you didn't die. I didn't die.

54:54 Adam Well, yeah, but then you wouldn't be worried about the excuse. You wouldn't be coming back next semester. But I mean, look, if you did your freshman and sophomore year and before you came back from your junior year, you decided to go to Europe and work on your uncle's farm for a semester before you came back.

55:09 Drew Yeah, many schools would support that, but again.

55:11 Adam Can't you just come back when you want to come back? What are you finishing?

55:15 Drew Some schools don't go over that.

55:16 Adam All right, you could get away with that. She's going to a junior college for a question.

55:19 Drew No, she's going to a cooking school.

55:20 Adam Oh, please, what do they care? Here's to Pam. There's here, here's a cracking egg with one hand.

55:27 Drew Oh, Adam, Todd, 27.

55:30 Adam Fairly old Todd.

55:32 Caller Yes, hello?

55:33 Adam Hello, wow.

55:34 Drew He sounds like Grandpa Todd.

55:35 Adam He's got about another month. What's up there, Todd?

55:38 Caller Okay, my question is, why is it that when I fart or when someone farts, it doesn't smell especially horrible to me but can be extremely offensive to other people in the room and vice versa?

55:52 Adam Well, no.

55:53 Caller Even if we've all eaten the same food and stuff like that, I would think...

55:57 Drew So you take great offense to other people's gas. Is that what you're saying?

56:00 Caller Yeah.

56:00 Drew Oh, yeah. That's not really too hip to do that, right? You don't really get offended by other people's gas, do you? You sort of take great pride in other people's accomplishments sometimes.

56:10 Adam Like any, you know, serious competitor who loves a sport.

56:15 Drew Yeah, a guy hits a ball over your head and over the back...

56:17 Adam I respect it, though.

56:18 Drew Yeah, you don't like it, but...

56:19 Adam I'm not hoping the guy hits it over my head, but I can appreciate, you know, he's a trained athlete.

56:25 Caller Right.

56:25 Adam And I respect it.

56:27 Caller You find it less pleasant than if it were your own gas.

56:30 Drew Which he enjoys immensely.

56:32 Adam Yes.

56:32 Caller Right. And why is that? The food has gone through the same process. I think it should smell the same to him, regardless of where it's coming from.

56:41 Adam Well, you have two questions here. One is, is why are you more offended by other people's gas? Which is like, why are you more offended by other people's saliva than your own?

56:49 Drew Or BO?

56:50 Adam Well, not offended. Okay, listen, that's a retarded question.

56:54 Drew And I tell you, too much energy on it.

56:56 Adam It doesn't deserve an answer. Then the second one is an interesting one, which is, and I'll defer to Drew on this, so that we've had many conversations on and off here about this, which is, if two guys sit down and eat exactly the same thing, why does it manifest itself in nasty gas on one person and maybe no gas in another person?

57:15 Drew Because the nasty smell comes primarily from methane produced by bacteria in your colon, and the bacteria that live in balance with your body are different individual to individual. And some of us are blessed with methane producing bacteria and some have little or none.

57:33 Adam And that bacteria cannot be eradicated, right? That's in India?

57:36 Drew No, it's sort of your relationship with the environment.

57:41 Adam So, for instance, I can eat garlic and have no difficulties.

57:44 Drew Right.

57:45 Adam Drew can eat garlic and North America can have a difficulty.

57:49 Drew That's right.

57:50 Adam Right.

57:50 Drew And I can be sick too, like ill, and bring everyone along with me.

57:54 Adam The answer to this question too could be, how come some people are allergic to peanuts and other people aren't?

58:00 Drew Or why some people have BO or some people sweat?

58:02 Adam Yeah, but I mean, it's like one, they both eat the same peanut. One person dies.

58:06 Drew Right.

58:07 Adam The other guy doesn't, the other guy enjoys the rest of the flight.

58:09 Drew That's right.

58:10 Adam OK, same thing. We're all different. That's the way God made us. That's the answer. John?

58:14 Yeah.

58:15 Adam You're 14?

58:16 Caller Yeah.

58:16 Adam What's up?

58:17 Caller Well, there's this girl that I really like, you know, and like we're really good friends. And, you know, I'm thinking about, you know, maybe I want to get closer. But like all our friends, they're all skaters and stuff. And they like, they don't like me. And we were at the football game.

58:30 Adam They're all skaters?

58:31 Caller Yeah, they're all skaters.

58:32 Adam What kind of skater?

58:34 Caller Um, just, I don't know, I don't want to make this on all skaters because I like some of them. But they're just, they're stupid. They're immature. And, you know, I just don't get along with them.

58:44 Adam Skateboard skaters?

58:45 Caller Yeah.

58:46 Adam Oh, OK. Yeah. Yeah. And you're a biker, right?

58:49 Caller No, I don't.

58:50 Adam Or you're a jock. Oh, maybe. Are you a soche?

58:52 Caller Yeah.

58:53 Adam Are you a greaser?

58:54 Drew No. A soche.

58:56 Adam Wait a minute. What was the I'm trying to think of that I think of that movie. And we're Matt Dillon. No, not Grease. What was that Matt Dillon movie? Give me that Matt Dillon one. The Outsiders. Yeah, like soches and greasers and all that. All right. So you're you're you're a jock.

59:12 Caller Yeah, I guess.

59:13 Adam All right. She's a skateboarder.

59:15 Caller No, she's just like all her friends are. Yeah, sort of. I guess.

59:20 Adam All right. So who cares? Yeah, we like her. And does she like you?

59:25 Caller She says she just wants to be really close friends.

59:29 Adam Well, if you could get her friends to stop riding a skateboard, she would love you.

59:33 Drew And there's a there's a reason she likes sort of antisocial guys. OK. And if you're not that you ain't on her list of attractions.

59:41 Adam Well, she ain't into you.

59:42 Drew Yeah. She's in the guys that are sort of counterculture.

59:47 Caller Right.

59:48 Drew Peripheral.

59:48 Adam Whatever it is, you're too straight for her.

59:51 Caller I'm too straight. OK.

59:52 Adam Yeah.

59:52 Drew Why are you attracted? Well, what's he attracted to all that? He's a fixer.

59:55 Adam No, I don't know. I've had I've been attracted to girls every little little.

1:00:00 Drew OK, but I know where that comes from. And you for Christ's sake, you're a caretaker.

1:00:03 Adam How dare you? Now, listen to me.

1:00:06 Drew In fact, I'm not so I'm surprised that hasn't gone on.

1:00:10 Adam Listen, how dare you? The reason it hasn't perpetuated itself is because it was never part of me.

1:00:15 Drew And because 14 years of therapy.

1:00:17 Adam No, let me let me tell you.

1:00:19 Drew Finally got that one.

1:00:19 Adam Do you want to know what I'm attracted to? Yes, you think my mom.

1:00:23 Drew Quiet, lazy. What?

1:00:24 Adam Thank you. I like same qualities in a woman as I like in a dog.

1:00:29 Drew You're gonna say.

1:00:30 Adam I like them black. I like them quiet and lazy. And I like them jumping in the pool every once in a while. Chased down a tennis ball.

1:00:37 Drew And no bark.

1:00:40 Adam No bark. And I want to crap out in the yard. No, listen. How dare you, Drew. Miss, my mother's a little bit of a piece of work.

1:00:49 Drew And you're sort of.

1:00:51 Adam It took a little propping up. But here's what I'm into, chick-wise. And I've always been into. And I've told my family this much to their dismay. I size them up quite nicely and want the exact opposite.

1:01:04 Drew Of the parents, your parents. Yeah, yeah.

1:01:05 Adam I'm attracted to women that are the exact opposite of my mom, which is, you know, slender and employed. Those are the two things I'm looking for in a woman. So I'm not looking for a project. I'm actually looking for the opposite. How dare you? OK. But I have been into chicks just because they were cute. And sometimes they're a little punk or they're a little whatever. And they're still hot.

1:01:30 Drew Do you think it's that nasty quality that you like?

1:01:34 Adam No. People have their own way, regardless of what color their hair is or what their...

1:01:40 Caller No.

1:01:40 Drew But let's dissect a little bit. What is the attraction built on? It's not style. It's something more primitive, right?

1:01:48 Adam In my life, I've been attracted to a few girls who have been a little on the outside.

1:01:54 Drew But just think about it.

1:01:56 Adam The quality is they were just cute. They just happened to come up in this package.

1:02:01 Drew Not something some wildness or something?

1:02:03 Adam I would have preferred them to be more normal, I think. The deal is those girls ain't into 14-year-old jocks. They're too straight. They're not bad boys, and they need a bad boy. So John needs to find someone who's a daddy, love them, and doesn't need a bad boy.

1:02:19 Drew He'll be a lot happier in the long run. Don't look for projects.

1:02:22 Adam And if they tell you, I just want to be friends right now, then that's friends forever. Hi, May?

1:02:30 Yeah.

1:02:31 Adam You're 16?

1:02:32 Caller Yeah.

1:02:33 Adam What's up?

1:02:34 Caller I want to know if pot smoking can affect your emotions.

1:02:38 Drew Yeah?

1:02:38 Adam Tire you out.

1:02:39 Drew What specifically are you talking about?

1:02:40 Caller Well, I'm like, I'm an occasional pot smoker, like not all the time. I'm on maybe once every three months. Yeah. And the other day, I smoked out with this one girl. Just fell completely head over heels for her. Been feeling this way ever since.

1:02:58 Drew Was she a girl that you had known before and not thought of that way?

1:03:01 Caller It's the first time I met her.

1:03:03 Drew Do you think you might have felt that way even if you weren't smoking pot?

1:03:07 Caller Yeah.

1:03:08 Drew All right. So what are you asking?

1:03:09 Caller Like, but will the pot, how about you do it? Is it like?

1:03:12 Drew Well, let me ask my question again. Do you think that you would have felt this way about her whether you were high or not?

1:03:19 Caller Actually, I don't know.

1:03:20 Drew Okay. So she's not really your type. She's not really somebody to be attracted to normally.

1:03:25 Caller No, she's completely different from me. Right.

1:03:27 Drew But suddenly, pow, there you are.

1:03:29 Caller Yeah.

1:03:30 Drew Yeah, I believe that can happen. I don't know of any objective evidence that that's the case, but it makes sense to me that something like that can happen. I mean, at your age, 16, that crush or that infatuation is so powerful when it opens up, it makes sense to me if you were in a state where you were vulnerable to that kind of experience, once you're in it, pow, you can't get out of it. You know what I'm saying?

1:03:53 Caller Yeah.

1:03:53 Drew It becomes obsessional at that age. Somebody is either in or they're out when they're in, that's it, they're in.

1:03:57 Adam Well, isn't it sort of like, do you ever have a dream about somebody? Like maybe a sexual dream, but or just a dream where the whole focus of the dream is about this person that you don't think you think about that much and you wake up and you kind of like them.

1:04:11 Drew And then you're thinking about the next day you relate to them differently if you see them.

1:04:14 Adam You see the next day and you kind of think, well, I know it was a dream, but I still think they might know.

1:04:18 Drew Is that why you behave so differently today when you walked in?

1:04:20 Adam Yeah. I had a dream I raped you anally. I should have said something.

1:04:25 Drew I'm so honored.

1:04:27 Adam So I may over there.

1:04:28 Drew So either way he's in, it doesn't matter.

1:04:31 Adam He likes her, he likes her, big deal.

1:04:33 Drew I think the fact that he's questioning it is good. I think whenever you get a crush like that at 16, you ought to really look at it carefully. You shouldn't necessarily just go with it.

1:04:41 Adam You don't smoke too much weed.

1:04:42 Drew But he's not. Once every three months, he said.

1:04:45 Adam You know our caller said lying. Mandy? I believe that. Mandy?

1:04:48 Drew I didn't get the vibe. Mandy?

1:04:50 Adam I don't know. It sounded like a burner to me.

1:04:51 Drew 22? No.

1:04:52 Adam Mandy, 22.

1:04:54 Caller Yes.

1:04:54 Adam What's up?

1:04:55 Caller Well, I've been having a problem recently. And I have had a child. I do have a little boy. And recently when I've been going to the bathroom, I guess when I poop, there's been a lot of blood.

1:05:13 Drew How long ago was the pregnancy?

1:05:16 Caller My son is almost four.

1:05:18 Drew You were 18. Did you have hemorrhoids during the pregnancy?

1:05:21 Caller No, but I had one afterwards.

1:05:23 Drew All right, so why aren't you... First of all, you need to take some iron tablets, right? And you need to take stool softeners. Make sure the iron doesn't constipate you, make the bleeding worse. And then you need to go see a doctor and have a sigmoidoscopy so they can look in there and see where this bleeding is coming from.

1:05:38 Caller Okay.

1:05:39 Adam You engaged in any ass bleeding behavior, such as anal sex?

1:05:45 Caller Yes. My husband and I do occasionally.

1:05:49 Adam Good times.

1:05:49 Drew That's going to make this worse. And I would suggest you not do that until you've seen someone about this.

1:05:53 Adam Is he the father of the child?

1:05:55 Caller Of course.

1:05:56 Adam All right. Very nice. And have you told him that you have a little bleeding down there?

1:06:01 Caller Yeah. He got a little worried with me one time. And it was a couple days ago he was yelling at me for it. And he said, you know, that's not normal. And I said, well, you know, I'll figure out something.

1:06:16 Adam All right, honey, you dodge your bullet because I'm going to go easy this time.

1:06:22 Drew What does he mean? What do you mean? You're going to do something about it?

1:06:25 Caller Well, he's been telling me that I should go to a doctor and go see a doctor, but I wasn't sure if I should go away because it was a hemorrhoid and I had one before.

1:06:35 Drew That's a reasonable thought. However, worst case scenario, this is cancer or inflammatory bowel disease.

1:06:43 Adam What a women hit at 22.

1:06:44 Drew Rare. They get hemorrhoids, but it needs to be checked out.

1:06:48 Adam I got my ass checked at the doctor a few months ago. I was telling me about that. He put that glove on and he said, well, I know you had one of these before, and here comes again and I never had one before.

1:07:03 Drew Was that right? You tried to convince me to do it.

1:07:05 Adam Seemed like he was on a roll, so I didn't want to stop him and get into the nuances about popping my rectal cherry. So I just let him go at it.

1:07:14 Drew You took it.

1:07:15 Adam Yeah. Took it like a man.

1:07:16 Drew Yeah, a break.

1:07:17 Adam I'm going to take a break?

1:07:18 Drew Yeah.

1:07:18 Adam All right. When we come back, who are we going to talk to?

1:07:20 Drew Chris.

1:07:21 Adam His penis hurts after masturbating, but not always. We'll get to that after this. Back in a minute. Hey, everybody, it's The Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. We're going to speak to Chris now, who's 16. Chris, his penis hurts after masturbating.

1:07:59 Caller Yeah.

1:08:00 Adam Yeah, but not every time.

1:08:01 Caller No, just like, I don't know. Sometimes it happens. It's really random.

1:08:06 Adam Well, maybe it's your grip.

1:08:08 Drew The shaft hurts?

1:08:10 Caller It's more towards the top.

1:08:12 Drew The tip hurts?

1:08:13 Caller Yeah.

1:08:13 Drew Does it hurt when you pee?

1:08:15 Caller No, that's like the relief.

1:08:19 Drew The pee makes it better.

1:08:20 Caller Yeah, but then it comes back as soon as I'm done.

1:08:22 Drew And is like an aching at the tip?

1:08:24 Caller Kind of. It's like something's trying to burst out of there or something.

1:08:28 Drew Does it radiate down towards your groin at all or does it stay right at the tip?

1:08:31 Caller It stays right at the tip.

1:08:32 Drew Well, is there any irritation right at the tip? Like a little burning at the tip?

1:08:36 Caller No.

1:08:38 Drew I mean, that suggests some sort of irritation of the urethra, the tube you're putting stuff out with. And are you sexually active?

1:08:47 Caller Yeah.

1:08:48 Drew So it could be a urethritis. You could have a little infection there. So you might want to just talk to...

1:08:53 Caller Well, it's been happening as long as I can remember.

1:08:56 Drew So before you were sexually active, you had the melons, just you. See if you can kind of irritate the urethra a little bit sometimes.

1:09:02 Adam Well, it doesn't happen every time. How many times out of ten does it happen?

1:09:07 Caller Like 0.5.

1:09:08 Drew So rare.

1:09:09 Caller Yeah.

1:09:10 Drew I wouldn't worry about it. Yeah. He probably doesn't irritate the urethra with some soap or whatever he's using.

1:09:14 Adam Small price to pay for beating off. Robert?

1:09:17 Yeah.

1:09:17 Adam You're 14?

1:09:18 Drew Yeah.

1:09:19 Adam What's up?

1:09:20 Well, I'm going out with this girl. She's 18 years old and she has two kids. And I just had sex with her and I don't know what to do.

1:09:32 Adam She has two kids.

1:09:33 Yeah.

1:09:33 Adam At 18, huh?

1:09:34 Yeah.

1:09:35 Drew Do you want to do your voice read for a second?

1:09:37 Caller Huh?

1:09:39 I'm sorry. I couldn't hear that.

1:09:41 Drew I get virgin.

1:09:42 Adam I get virgin too.

1:09:45 Uh, 14 years old.

1:09:48 Adam What?

1:09:48 Drew Yeah.

1:09:49 Adam Where did you meet her?

1:09:51 I met her at a bowling alley.

1:09:53 Adam How?

1:09:54 I was bowling. It was an Odyssey Night bowling. And she was in a, shoot. We have it where you share like there's one eye on one side and there's one other on the other side. And you share like that little spot. And she was on the other side.

1:10:07 Drew What? She struck up a conversation with you?

1:10:09 Yeah.

1:10:09 Drew And then what happened?

1:10:11 And then it just kind of went on from there. We became friends and then it just kind of went on from there.

1:10:15 Drew So you've been seeing her for a little while?

1:10:17 Yeah.

1:10:18 Adam Did you use her condom when you had sex?

1:10:20 No. She said she was on birth control.

1:10:23 Adam Well she got them two kitties.

1:10:26 Caller At 18.

1:10:28 Adam Now where's her old man? Out of the picture?

1:10:31 Yeah. I guess. They still pog as friends. That's another thing I'm kind of worried about. And her dad, she had one of the kids when she was really, really young because her dad must have her.

1:10:44 Drew Was it her dad's kid?

1:10:46 Yeah. Oh. That's what she said.

1:10:48 Drew Wow. Well she fits the profile. Yeah.

1:10:52 Adam And by the way, when you have like a three-year-old, you usually don't brag that it's your dad's kid. It's something you'd like to keep under your hat.

1:11:02 Well, she's kind of like really.

1:11:05 Adam Little out there?

1:11:06 Depressed and like.

1:11:09 Adam Hold on. I'm going to get depressed in a second. Is she raising these kids?

1:11:13 Caller Yeah, she is.

1:11:14 Her mom is wanting to do with her.

1:11:16 Drew Well, you don't want that mom and dad involved with this, do you?

1:11:20 Adam No. Well, shouldn't the dad raise his son with his daughter?

1:11:24 Drew So it's for his abuse farm?

1:11:25 Her dad is in prison.

1:11:27 Drew Good.

1:11:27 Adam Okay. I'll tell you, if I start a band, Abuse Farm is going to be one of my top title choices. All right. Well, listen.

1:11:37 I know you're not going to like this, Adam, but she's in city college.

1:11:39 Adam She's in city college. Fine. That's purgatory. That's city college. That's where the damned go to rot. Yeah. Who think they're going to four a year and never end up there. It's purgatory. It's what heaven, what purgatory is to heaven or hell is what city college is. It's a big waiting room. She'll leave there when she's in her 40s with no degree. Listen, Robert, you're in way over your 14-year-old head. And I can tell you that this girl has troubles that at age 14 you couldn't even begin to understand. You can hear them. You know.

1:12:17 Drew You can kind of feel them.

1:12:18 Adam She's effed up, but you don't even know the... We haven't even scratched the surface of her real problems. And you're going to get caught up in this.

1:12:26 Well, see, what I'm most worried about is that, see, she's... Like I said, she's really depressed. And maybe if I break up with her or...

1:12:33 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't worry.

1:12:36 She might tell my parents or she might hurt herself.

1:12:39 Adam No.

1:12:39 Drew Robert, it's great that you're concerned about it.

1:12:41 Adam If she makes any of those threats, you call the cops.

1:12:44 Drew Yeah, absolutely. And if she tells your parents, listen, she's actually guilty of molestation. It's not just the guys that can sexually abuse young people. You understand, a 14-year-old, 18-year-old female, that's sexual abuse.

1:12:57 Adam Yeah, you got to get out of there.

1:12:59 Drew So what would be her motivation in alerting everybody of the fact that she's committed a crime? Think about that.

1:13:04 Adam And Drew, when you have a kid via your dad, what are the chances that kid comes out normal? Do we overstate that as a society to try to keep that stuff down?

1:13:19 Drew We certainly make a big deal about it.

1:13:21 Adam And we make a big deal if two first cousins get together.

1:13:24 Drew It's not a good idea.

1:13:25 Adam The kid's going to come out like Anderson or something.

1:13:27 Drew It doesn't mean it's going to happen, though. Here's a phone number, 1-800-448-4663, 1-800-448-4663, or 1-800-394-HOPE, H-O-P-E. Give one of these a call and talk about this.

1:13:42 Adam Really? It's just a dumper.

1:13:44 Drew He needs a dumper, but he may need some support through this.

1:13:47 Adam Support? He's a dumper. He's 14.

1:13:50 Drew 14? He has this fish on the line.

1:13:53 Adam You made a rubber 14. It snapped right back into shape. Kevin?

1:13:58 Yes.

1:13:59 Adam You're 20?

1:14:00 Caller Yes, sir.

1:14:00 Adam What's up?

1:14:01 Caller Well, I have a question. My roommate here took this substance called Colin Blow.

1:14:06 Drew Colin Blow?

1:14:07 Adam Yeah, Jimmy took that.

1:14:08 Drew What is that?

1:14:10 Caller Okay. I have a question. I told him to go to the doctor about how many times he uses the bathroom a day and he defecates about six or seven times a day. No.

1:14:23 Drew What is it about the mail, the talking about the colon, elicits fart?

1:14:26 Caller I don't know.

1:14:26 Adam I just had a fart came on. Unacceptable. Talking about defecation. See if Drew can get some of that.

1:14:32 Drew That was a good one.

1:14:33 Adam I don't know. Don't flatter me. If it doesn't smell, I don't want you to say anything.

1:14:38 Drew Don't worry.

1:14:39 Adam Yeah. I'm not getting anything there now. It's nothing there.

1:14:43 Drew I was poised already to get quite affected. Yeah.

1:14:47 Adam Colon blow, right?

1:14:48 Drew Yeah. He takes it all the time? No.

1:14:52 Caller He just wanted to do it just to clean out his colon.

1:14:55 Caller What is it?

1:14:56 Adam It's some kind of husk or something you take.

1:14:59 Drew Yeah.

1:15:00 Adam Yeah.

1:15:00 Drew A little bit here.

1:15:01 Adam No.

1:15:02 Drew Yeah.

1:15:02 Adam No. Like I said, you're just trying to flatter me, trying to make me feel better. It's too late. You take this thing and like in the commercial, they tell you have a bowel movement that's like six foot long and continuous and Jimmy took this stuff. It doesn't work. It doesn't do anything.

1:15:19 Caller Okay. Because I mean-

1:15:20 Drew Well, but if you have bowel movement six, seven times a day, he needs to see some. That's diarrhea. That's bad.

1:15:24 Adam It is?

1:15:25 Drew That's a frequent stool.

1:15:26 Adam Well, you just tell him not to use it anymore.

1:15:28 Drew No, he used it once.

1:15:29 Adam Yeah, but has he been having bowel movement six, seven times a day for how long?

1:15:33 Drew Let's ask him.

1:15:35 Adam How long has it been? Ever since he used it.

1:15:37 Drew How long ago was that?

1:15:39 Caller About four months ago.

1:15:41 Drew Four months, Adam.

1:15:42 Caller Yeah.

1:15:43 Adam But what about that answer, ever since he used it?

1:15:47 Drew It's a Loveline answer. Classic.

1:15:49 Adam Classic. We're going to write that down, Kevin.

1:15:52 Drew But listen, this is not about the colon blow or whatever the hell that crap is. He needs to, it's diarrhea. Something's going on and he really needs to be seen.

1:16:00 Adam Okay.

1:16:01 Drew I mean, the list is a mile long. What could be causing it?

1:16:04 Adam Michael?

1:16:05 Drew Hello?

1:16:06 Adam You're 22?

1:16:07 Caller 22.

1:16:08 Adam What's up?

1:16:09 Caller What's up?

1:16:10 Adam What's up?

1:16:11 Caller How you doing?

1:16:12 Adam All righty. I want to go back and forth with him. Let me just talk. Hang on, Michael. We'll get back to you. Sarah? Yeah. You're 20?

1:16:20 Caller Yeah.

1:16:21 Adam What's your question?

1:16:22 Caller Well, let's see here. I'm starting a psychotherapy tomorrow. What's about is I got to a car accident about a year ago. It was a really bad accident. Rolled like eight times. Blase, blase. Well, anyway, because I haven't driven since. I get behind the wheel, I get the panic attacks, I look for my bottle of Xanax, the whole thing.

1:16:41 Drew How much Xanax are you taking?

1:16:42 Caller Actually, that was a joke.

1:16:44 Drew Okay.

1:16:45 Caller Sorry, kind of dry sense of humor. Anyway, I start tomorrow for my panic attacks. My physical therapist recommended me because I get treatment for soft tissue damage.

1:16:54 Drew Are you okay now physically?

1:16:55 Caller Yeah.

1:16:56 Drew Did you have any head?

1:16:56 Caller My neck hurts. I get headaches.

1:16:58 Drew Did you have any head trauma?

1:16:59 Caller No, I didn't actually. The driver did. I was a passenger. She just had a concussion.

1:17:03 Adam How did your car roll eight times?

1:17:05 Caller We were on a road trip. I was a passenger and we were coming back from New Mexico. I was living in Utah at the time. We were somewhere in Arizona. Truth is, we were smoking pot. Yeah, I know. Well, we just weren't paying attention to the road.

1:17:20 Caller She drove off into the middle.

1:17:21 Adam A chick drive? You let a chick drive?

1:17:23 Caller Yeah.

1:17:25 I know.

1:17:26 Adam You had to know this was going to happen sooner or later. You got a gal behind the wheel.

1:17:30 Tell me about it.

1:17:31 Adam Of course. She drove off the road.

1:17:32 Caller You're lucky you're still alive. We went to the medium. She freaked out. She overcorrected. We were going like 80. We spun out on the freeway, like a 360. Hitting the other side of the road, it caused the car to roll eight times.

1:17:43 Adam What kind of car was it?

1:17:44 Caller Acura Legend. Great car to roll in, to tell you, because we should have died. But we didn't. I mean, I just had soft tissue damage. She had a minor concussion.

1:17:53 Adam Yeah. Do you have airbags and stuff?

1:17:55 Caller We did, but they didn't go off, because that has to be like a head-on collision. Oh my God.

1:17:58 Adam It's interesting.

1:17:59 Caller Why it didn't go off?

1:18:00 Adam Yeah, because you didn't have any bumper contact.

1:18:02 Caller I know. I know there wasn't. It just had to be a head-on collision, I guess, but since the rolling of the side movement.

1:18:06 Adam Yeah, you're just on the roof, on the wheels, on the roof, on the wheels.

1:18:10 Drew Yeah, I have head-backs now.

1:18:11 Adam Yeah, I got these side curtains and stuff, but didn't have it this way.

1:18:15 Caller I know.

1:18:16 Adam All right, so good times.

1:18:17 Caller So I had a good time.

1:18:18 Adam Now you're freaked out about driving.

1:18:20 Caller Well, I don't drive. I just don't. And I just moved out here to LA about eight months ago, and I take the bus, and it's a pain in the ass.

1:18:26 Drew You don't drive because you're freaked out?

1:18:27 Caller Yeah, I'm absolutely freaked out. But my main question is, I'm suing Therapy Tomorrow for my panic attack. But I'm looking at this as an opportunity because therapy is a wonderful thing, to be able to get some real therapy for some other stuff. We all had a fun life, and there's a lot of things to talk about. But my dilemma is this is going to be a lawsuit. There's going to be a settlement out of this. And the doctor's reports will go back to the insurance company.

1:18:57 Adam You guys suing the guy who sold you the dime bag?

1:19:00 Drew So you want to know, can you get... No, you're suing an accident.

1:19:03 Caller The reason why we pay insurance is you get a settlement out of it.

1:19:05 Drew So your question is, can you get continued psychotherapy for a specific phobia?

1:19:10 Caller Well, not really. I know I'm going to get treated for my phobia for my driving, and then this insurance thing will be over. I'll get my settlement. But the thing is, if I talk to this therapist about my past life and things that have...

1:19:19 Not past life.

1:19:20 Adam What kind of money are you looking at getting, by the way?

1:19:23 Caller It's just going to be like $5,000, $6,000, nothing big. It's going to buy me my car because by then I'll be ready to drive.

1:19:29 Adam Oh, that's nothing. You rolled eight times. It's only like $750 a roll.

1:19:33 $750 a roll.

1:19:34 Adam It's really not that much.

1:19:36 Drew So what?

1:19:37 Caller What it is, is if I walk into this office tomorrow, and I say my life's been great and I don't talk about things that have happened, and that I've been fined up into this accident, then that's going to help out my case. But if I go in there and we start talking about things that have really happened in my past, then the insurance company is going to see these reports and I'm afraid that they're going to say, well, she was emotionally unstable, the accident was just kind of a trigger to these panic attacks.

1:19:59 Drew You discussed this with your therapist going in. That doesn't have to be documented. You had that discussion.

1:20:05 Caller That's what I was thinking. I was asking him if he had to document.

1:20:08 Adam Well, what did happen?

1:20:11 Drew Your life.

1:20:11 Adam Your past, yeah.

1:20:12 Caller You know, just about everything. You know, parents' divorce, a little bit of molestation when I was a kid, some drug use, you know, just about everything.

1:20:21 Drew Sexual abuse, life.

1:20:22 Yeah, your regular dysfunctional life.

1:20:24 Adam We've all had a smattering of sexual abuse, usually around the holidays. All right, wait a minute. Well, first off, you know, here's the reality. The reality is they probably have a point. The insurance company does.

1:20:38 Drew Yeah, but I don't see.

1:20:40 Adam You hate to look at it that way. Actually, I don't.

1:20:43 Drew They're not going to.

1:20:44 Adam I don't think they're going to do it that way.

1:20:45 Drew No, she wasn't driving. She wasn't driving. I mean, what's the hell?

1:20:49 Adam She was just hind in the past.

1:20:50 Drew She had all phobics, even all post-traumatic stress reactions are somewhat dependent on your pre-morbid state, the state you're in psychologically moving in. But that doesn't really matter about the fact that you have post-traumatic stress.

1:21:03 Adam You call it a pre-morbid state?

1:21:04 Drew Pre-morbid, before this disease started, before this condition started.

1:21:08 Adam Right.

1:21:09 Drew Not pre-death. Pre-morbidity of the disease.

1:21:12 Adam Right. But you know, I had a buddy who rolled a car and got in a horrible accident about that age. And he was about 20. Maybe he was 18. He was like in his next car and burning out of the parking lot, you know, the next day.

1:21:25 Drew He was a drug addict though.

1:21:26 Adam No, no, not a drug addict at all. No, just great parents and everything was good with him.

1:21:30 Drew Oh, so he had no PTSD.

1:21:31 Adam No, he had nothing on his plate. There's nothing in his dryer to tumble.

1:21:36 Drew That's the point, that if you don't have something going on, you might not get PTSD, so that would preclude them ever treating it.

1:21:42 Adam Yes, I think that PTSD and back injury, it's all the same. You got to have something there before the injury. A little something to get hurt. You know what I'm saying?

1:21:52 Drew I know about the back. Yeah.

1:21:53 Adam Go to the shrink and tell them whatever you want to tell them. It'll be between the two of you and good times.

1:22:00 Caller Hello. This is your radio. Love Line will be right back.

1:23:00 Adam Let's check the time real fast, it's 11.46 straight up. That's 14 minutes away from the top, and they are 12 minutes away from the top. Right back down the middle of the right.

1:23:11 Caller Let's check some temps.

1:23:12 Adam Lancaster, Palmdale, check it in for the edge of Burbank's coming in at 55. Locking out of Flintridge area is coming in a cool 49. Glendale, 65 degrees, 65 Rancho Cookeland, 063, 50 in Pasadena, 55 El Cajon, 28 degrees, and it's freezing in Eagle Rock. Let's hop on the boat and start to be able to make the show go round. Are you ready?

1:23:32 Caller Hot, hot, hot, ready to rock and roll here?

1:23:33 Adam How's the traffic? How's the traffic? Traffic? Traffic, we got a little slow and go on the 405 over there. The single-learn on the 110, and a motorcycle down on the left lane on 101, so that's going to back you up all the way up to the 110. Again.

1:23:46 Drew Heard they're just out of lanes.

1:23:48 Adam Just out of lanes. San Fernando coming in, 55 degrees. Chatsworth coming in at 63, San Bernardino, 65 degrees, City of City, a cool 52, New Hall, Saugust area, Checkaday to 55, and it's 50 even if it looks like it. Check time real fast, 1147 and 25 seconds. That's 12 minutes and 35 seconds away from the top of the hour straight up. Courtney's on line 115 has got a problem. Courtney calling from Bel Air, on line one, on line one, Courtney from Bel Air, line one. Courtney? Hi. Hey, 50. What's going on there, Toot? What's up? Thanks for calling the show. Pretty jumping up and down today. I'm going to check in to some of those temperatures later. We got a traffic report coming up too. What's going on there? We're going to check the time coming up too. What's going on?

1:24:32 Caller Um, hi, um, yeah.

1:24:36 Adam All right, hold on a second. Let's check the time. It's 1147, 1148, straight up, 12 minutes away from the top of the hour. Lanecaster, Palmdale, they're checking in, 52 degrees. Let's get back on the phone and talk to Courtney. Courtney? Hi. Age 15, what's on? Line one. Line one. Hi. What's going on here?

1:24:54 Caller Well, wow, okay. Um, yeah, um, I've been in, like, lots of relationships, and, um, as soon as I get out of a relationship, I always get in another one. And I'm, like, never seen...

1:25:06 Adam Canoga Park, checking in, 52. Eagle Rock, Gary, checking in, 55. Chris, 55. Stay tuned for Traffic Check. I'm going to take a look at the time coming up there. Yeah, Courtney?

1:25:16 Drew Uh, yeah. So you're always in a relationship. You can't be alone.

1:25:19 Adam I can't be alone. Drew?

1:25:21 Drew You need to be alone.

1:25:22 Adam I just made her alone. Let's check the time real fast. 1148 and 45 seconds. That's 11 minutes and 15 seconds away from the top of the hour, straight up.

1:25:30 Caller It's back down in the middle of the line around.

1:25:32 Adam I'm Ace Rockolla. Let's go to the other part of Dr. Drew and check some time, some weather, and some traffic coming up.

1:25:36 Drew Real common for people to be...

1:25:37 Adam Let's hop on the phones and talk to Matt. Matt is 18. Matt's on line 5, calling in from Gora Hill. Gora Hill's checking in at 49 degrees, by the way.

1:25:47 Drew 18 years old.

1:25:48 Adam Matt, let's check the time. 1149 in 10 seconds. That is 10 minutes and 50 seconds away from the top of the hour, straight up. I'm Ace Rockolla. Matt?

1:25:58 Drew She needs to do what she can to spend a little time alone.

1:26:00 Adam You got a problem, buddy?

1:26:01 Caller Yeah, I just had a question.

1:26:01 Adam What's wrong? And see you're not checking in at 55 degrees.

1:26:07 Caller I just want to know.

1:26:09 Adam When I go on the 405, that's going to go all the way out to the airport. A lot of you are going out to the airport. When I get off, I'd lock the air. I take that. Go ahead.

1:26:17 Drew A lot of brake lights out there?

1:26:18 Adam A lot of brake lights. Slow and go out there. Slow and go. Go ahead.

1:26:22 Caller There's times when I have sex with my girlfriend.

1:26:23 Caller I have sex there and we're going.

1:26:27 Caller I hear that, brother.

1:26:29 Caller Hold on.

1:26:30 Adam A little too much information. Let's check time real fast. 11.49 and 55 seconds straight up. That is five seconds and 10 minutes away from the top of the hour straight up. Matt, you need to eat with your girlfriend. What's going on there, buddy?

1:26:45 Caller Yeah.

1:26:45 Caller So there's times when I will ejaculate and I will have a comment.

1:26:49 Adam Whoa. A little more information I need to hear.

1:26:51 Caller Yeah.

1:26:52 Caller All right.

1:26:52 Caller There's times when I won't.

1:26:53 Caller I just don't know what that is.

1:26:54 Adam Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't.

1:26:56 Drew You do medication?

1:26:58 Caller Yeah, I take medication.

1:26:59 Adam What do you take on there, buddy?

1:27:00 Caller I take Zoloft and Calipress.

1:27:02 Adam All right. That will do it.

1:27:03 Drew Do you have ADD or something?

1:27:05 Adam Yeah.

1:27:06 Drew The Zoloft will definitely give you trouble like that.

1:27:08 Adam Let me tell you something.

1:27:08 Drew That's what's happening.

1:27:09 Adam I was on the Zoloft for a while after my second wife broke up and I'll tell you right now, I was like filling my nuts with sawdust. It dried that pine right up.

1:27:16 Drew Really?

1:27:16 Adam Gobi Desert in there.

1:27:17 Drew So you wouldn't have any time where you were nutted.

1:27:19 Adam A jacked off a cactus came out of it. Seriously, Lancaster, Pondale, are checking in at 50 degrees, Brighton coming in at 48 degrees, and Locking out of Linnridge area, coming in at a warm 61 degrees, Glendale 55, Rancho Cucamongers coming in at 51, and Sino 52, Pasadena is coming in at 55 degrees, and 53 at El Cajon.

1:27:41 Drew How are you going to make a long ride home? How's it going to be?

1:27:44 Adam Where are you going? Slow and go, motorcycle down. Watch out for brake lights. Watch out for brake lights. That's the thing behind the car.

1:27:51 Drew Caltrans might be out there.

1:27:52 Adam Caltrans out there. Give them a break, buddy. Let's go. We'll check the time in a second. Yeah, check that. It was 11.51 in 20 seconds. That's eight minutes and 40 seconds away from the top of the hour. Hop back to the phones. Line one, speak to Jim, is on line one, calling West of the Rockies, calling from Phoenix, line one. Line one, National Show, National Show, line one, line one, calling from Phoenix. We do a national show. He's calling from Phoenix. Let's go ahead, Jim.

1:28:15 Caller Hello, I have a problem.

1:28:17 Yeah.

1:28:17 Adam What are we on out there? KDAY out there? Yeah, they got 55,000 watt flamethrower out there, I'll tell you what. Go ahead there.

1:28:25 I'm 17 and last night I had, I guess I had sex with my girlfriend.

1:28:29 Adam You broke yourself off a piece. Yeah, good times there, buddy. High five.

1:28:33 Yeah, I'm a virgin.

1:28:34 Adam Slow and go on the 405, by the way.

1:28:36 Caller Yep.

1:28:37 I have a question. I had sex with her, but I didn't actually have an orgasm.

1:28:42 Adam No orgasm. You're going to check in in 55.

1:28:45 Do you guys consider like, you know, I.

1:28:54 Adam Young for the F word, wouldn't you say? That's a good enough time to check some of the temperatures going on around south of San Fernando. Checking in in 55. San Gabriel is going to be 50. Chatsworth coming in 53, 55. San Bernardino Studio City, my hometown, coming in 60 degrees. 61 degrees, New Hall Sox, Still look alike, checking in 52 degrees. Slow and go on the 405, we got a signal alert on the 110, we got a motorcycle down in traffic lanes, look out for brake lights there on the 110.

1:29:15 Drew Ace, did you fart again?

1:29:20 Adam No, I didn't fart there. I don't know where that's coming from. I may have just moved and released in some of the upholstery. Could have been in my pants or in the seat of my... Let's hop back on the phones, Drew, see if we can do it. Dr. Drew, hot, hot, hot. Hot, hot, hot. Let's check the phones real fast. It's 1152, 1153, straight up seven minutes away from the top of the hour. Dr. Drew, you don't want to speak to Joey over there? Who do you want to talk to? Let's go to line five. We'll speak to Chloe.

1:29:51 Drew Put that on hold there, guys.

1:29:53 Adam Chloe's calling from Oregon. Oregon, 18, Oregon. Line five, National Show, Oregon. Go ahead, Chloe, calling from Oregon.

1:30:00 Caller Yeah, I have a problem.

1:30:03 Caller I'm addicted to sex.

1:30:05 Adam What are we on, KPSD out there?

1:30:09 Caller I'm 55.

1:30:09 Adam I'm a flame thot. I'm playing all hits all time. I'm addicted to sex. Hey, when's the next flight going to Oregon? I'd like to get in on some of that.

1:30:21 Drew Twinkie-hole, baby.

1:30:24 Adam What are you looking at, baby?

1:30:25 Drew What?

1:30:26 Caller How many guys are you looking at?

1:30:27 Drew What?

1:30:28 Adam How many guys are you looking at? All right, put it this way, when's the last time you did that?

1:30:36 Drew I'm going to give you a number, real quick, before you pull it in place.

1:30:38 Adam I'm going to give you guys a number. The 405 still slow to go, a lot of brake lights, you might want to use the lot to your exit over there. You're pulling on the 110, a motorcycle down left lane, a 101, and a truck carrying a load of used tires, it capsized over on the 5, so you're going to want to avoid that. Try to use the Dodger Stadium Exchange. 11, 54, and 20 seconds right now, that is 40 seconds, 5 minutes away from the top of the hour, straight up, Dr. Drew, is that right?

1:31:04 Drew Yeah, I've got a 503, 257, 2558.

1:31:08 Adam What freeway is that, and what temperature?

1:31:11 Drew Yeah, looks like probably the closest thing we're going to get for you.

1:31:13 Adam Chloe, addicted sex, eh?

1:31:15 Caller Yeah.

1:31:16 Drew And look in the SA, let's see if I can find some SA numbers for you. Yeah, you can call AA locally if you want, and they would refer you to any SA meetings locally.

1:31:24 Caller All right, Chloe?

1:31:26 Drew We do need to go to some meetings.

1:31:27 Adam Chloe calling from Oregon National Radio, Radio, National, Oregon, Line 5. All right, let's take ourselves a break.

1:31:34 Drew I got one, 800, here's a good number for you, 800-234-0420, 800-234-0420.

1:31:40 Adam All right, we're going to take a break, and we'll come back with a quick weather update, and then check in the traffic, and we'll check in the time after that.

1:31:47 Caller All right, guys, bottom line, here's the deal. Looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person, one call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

1:31:55 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:32:00 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:32:31 Caller Hey, everybody. Well, there you go.

1:32:34 Adam That's Loveline. I hope we all learned a very, very valuable lesson.

1:32:38 Drew That weather, traffic, and time.

1:32:41 Adam Very important in radio. We're going to start that at the top of the show and just run it all the way through tomorrow night.

1:32:47 Drew That's good.

1:32:47 Adam Okay. And you're going to tell me what guests are coming up here on Loveline, coming up shortly? Yes. All right. Not this second, but just in general. We'll put that thing up there. No one tomorrow night though, right? Good time. That means more weather, more traffic and more you, more me and more you. So until next time, is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying? Mahalo. Pretend my mouth is a vagina. I was like, hey doc, I'm this close to effing you in the face. You're lucky I haven't had a beer. I'd hop right on you.

1:33:19 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, September 9, 2001