Episode 1000754886224

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Adam Yep, it is Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, Dr. Drew, board certified physician.

1:19 Drew It's hard to look at that, isn't it?

1:20 Adam Or internist and addiction medicine specialist. He has a nice picture of an infected penis on the desk. And even though he has 30 pages and only one of them has a picture of an infected penis on it, that's the one that resides at the top, face up, so that I can stare at it while I'm doing the show.

1:39 Drew It's tough, isn't it?

1:40 Adam Yeah, it's tough. That's why you should turn it over and not have it at the top.

1:45 Drew The reason it was here is I was going to dispense with it.

1:48 Adam Okay, well, please dispense. Yes, you may dispense with it.

1:51 Drew A call from, I got a P-mail.

1:52 Adam Well, hold on. Oh, that kind of dispense. I thought you meant dispense like get rid of it.

1:57 Drew No, I mean take care of it.

1:58 Adam Well, hold on. Eddie Kaye Thomas is here.

2:00 Eddie Kaye Thomas Good evening, gentlemen.

2:01 Adam From American Pie 2 and also the original American Pie. Sure. You remember him as Finch. And I saw the original American Pie and I enjoyed it just like everyone else seemed to.

2:15 Eddie Kaye Thomas People like it. Yeah, it was popular.

2:18 Adam It had a big impact.

2:21 Eddie Kaye Thomas It was insane. Absolutely insane. And, you know, people relate to it and they love it and it seems to affect some people's lives. So, you know, kind of like your show.

2:32 Adam And except for it affected people's lives in a good way.

2:36 Drew It mostly affected the people performing in the show, too.

2:39 Adam Right. Made them some money.

2:40 Eddie Kaye Thomas Yeah.

2:41 Adam But, you know, it was like, I don't think it was a big budget film. It was a big studio film.

2:49 Eddie Kaye Thomas The original title of the original script was untitled teenage sex comedy that you can make for, that you'll probably hate, but we think audiences will love and you can make for under $10 million.

3:00 Adam Right. And that was truer words were never spoken.

3:05 Eddie Kaye Thomas Never.

3:06 Adam And it just sort of, that's the thing that's scary about movie making is some things touch a nerve or strike a chord and other ones don't. And yes, it is oftentimes based on where the movie is good or where the movie blows. But this movie really struck a chord and I'm guessing number two will as well, which is coming out this Friday the 10th, by the way.

3:28 Eddie Kaye Thomas It sure is. Yeah, people are digging it. We had a premiere last night and there was some laughing going on.

3:36 Adam And this is basically everyone was in their senior year on the first one, or at least close to it.

3:41 Eddie Kaye Thomas Yeah, we graduated at the end of the first one, so we can no longer be in a high school movie. And now we're back in Michigan.

3:51 Drew You can be, at least judging by our colors.

3:53 Adam That's true. You can emotionally be in high school.

3:55 Eddie Kaye Thomas No, we're a very mature group of characters.

3:57 Drew I mean, our color is 32, going back and dating high schoolers.

4:00 Right, right.

4:01 Eddie Kaye Thomas Well, this is a different part of the world. And we're back in Michigan a year later, our first summer back, and dealing with the problems of being back after college. Things are a bit weird. You know, things aren't the same. People are growing up.

4:18 Adam Did they have ever, when did they realize they wanted to do a two?

4:22 Eddie Kaye Thomas I think, I got the call about maybe a year and a half ago. And, because they knew it was going to, because everybody became a movie star all of a sudden.

4:32 Adam Right.

4:32 Eddie Kaye Thomas It wasn't, you know, easy to get everybody back. So they started about February last year, I got the call.

4:37 Adam So the movie was released in what month of last year?

4:41 Eddie Kaye Thomas July 7th, 1999.

4:43 Adam Oh, it was 99?

4:45 Eddie Kaye Thomas The biggest day of my life.

4:47 Adam So they knew, then, how long later was it?

4:51 Eddie Kaye Thomas Well, I'm not in those Universal Meetings.

4:53 Adam Oh, you're not?

4:54 Eddie Kaye Thomas I'm not on the front lines.

4:55 Adam Drew, what went on in that meeting? Oh, you weren't there either?

5:00 Drew Not me.

5:00 Adam Jesus Christ.

5:01 Drew Shocking.

5:03 Eddie Kaye Thomas I'm a, you know, I'm a prop. I do what I'm told.

5:05 Adam But the point is, is they saw the success of it and then greenlit the sequel.

5:10 Eddie Kaye Thomas It seemed like a good investment.

5:11 Adam Right.

5:12 Eddie Kaye Thomas 10 million turning into 100 usually sounds good. So they wanted to do that again.

5:17 Adam Right. I'm always, I'm always amazed when movies come out. I mean, I'd like to see a breakdown between, you know, what movies cost and what movies have made the most over the last 10 years. But it just seems like such a horrible risk to do Battlefield Earth and, you know, $100 million. Why do it? Why not? Why not just do, you know, scary movie or?

5:41 Eddie Kaye Thomas It's, you know, these movies that cost $200 million and then you make $200 million, we could have all just stayed home and saved time and been in the same position. Right. And it's, there's no logic to it, but we're all playing the game, having a great time too.

5:57 Adam And you got another movie coming out.

6:01 Eddie Kaye Thomas Yeah, The Stolen Summer. It was, I don't know if you guys heard about the Project Greenlight thing, right?

6:06 Adam The Ben Affleck, the Matt Damon thing.

6:09 Eddie Kaye Thomas Yeah. And yeah, you know, they got thousands of scripts from around the country and picked one wonderful one, a guy named Pete Jones one. And they got Aidan Quinn and Bonnie Hunt, Brian Dennehy, Kevin Pollock.

6:21 Adam Wow.

6:22 Eddie Kaye Thomas It's some serious acting is what they're doing in there.

6:26 Adam And it would seem like the script would be pretty good too.

6:30 Eddie Kaye Thomas I thought it's a genius idea because you get, I think they got about 8,000 scripts. And you're going to get something good out of that.

6:37 Adam Well yeah, and also so much of Hollywood is making scripts that are sort of kind of trust me. I mean based on the guy's previous work or his last script or this is the sequel or this is the prequel. But this is pretty organic.

6:53 Eddie Kaye Thomas This was a guy.

6:53 Adam You get 8,000 scripts, you pick the best.

6:55 Eddie Kaye Thomas Yeah, and this was a guy who really cared about something and sat in his living room in his kitchen and you know made a script not listening to studio executives and just wrote a really moving piece.

7:06 Adam I'm the same way, Drew, you'll back me up on this. I care about stuff and I sit in my living room too, but the only difference is I don't write a script. I just sit in my living room.

7:16 Drew It either has to involve pornography or Ginzu knives.

7:19 Adam Yeah, I just sit in my living room and watch television. All right, so also what about the WB show?

7:27 Eddie Kaye Thomas I'm joining the WB family, actually starting a few days. It's a new show called Off Center. Chris and Paul Weitz, who directed the the original American Pyer, executive producing it. It's me and a guy named Sean McGuire, big pop star over from London, who's made the move to America to be on the WB.

7:45 Adam What's the story?

7:46 Eddie Kaye Thomas Two guys graduate Oxford, come to New York, get a wild and crazy apartment and have wild and crazy adventures every Sunday night at 9:30 p.m. on the WB.

7:55 Adam You do an accent?

7:56 Eddie Kaye Thomas No, I'm an American, gone to London, come back, but he's got an accent, a real live accent, and a really good one too.

8:03 Adam Perfect. And Freddie got fingered I never saw.

8:06 Eddie Kaye Thomas You didn't get around to that?

8:07 Adam No, but I just, I heard horrible things about it. Not about you, just about the movie, and I steered Claire Vettro. Did you see that?

8:17 Eddie Kaye Thomas No. I think you guys were there.

8:20 Adam Does it deserve its rap?

8:22 Eddie Kaye Thomas We weren't making The Godfather. We weren't trying to change the course of movie making. We were making a Tom Green movie. You know, I think it's going to be a great movie to have on your bookshelf for that night when you're like, I got to look at that again, because that guy just gave birth to a baby and swung it around an umbilical cord.

8:42 Adam Oh really?

8:43 Eddie Kaye Thomas Yeah, he is.

8:44 Adam There's some good grody humor.

8:46 Eddie Kaye Thomas Yeah. And it's there's an audience out there for that movie.

8:50 Adam Yeah.

8:51 Eddie Kaye Thomas Somewhere.

8:51 Adam They're in prison.

8:52 Eddie Kaye Thomas But yeah, they will get out and rent the movie. All right. I will get a check.

8:56 Adam All right, Drew. You ready to rock?

8:58 Drew I am.

8:58 Adam What was the budget on Freddie Got Fingered, by the way?

9:02 Eddie Kaye Thomas I think we turned some profit. I think it was under 20 and we made about 19. So.

9:06 Adam Oh really?

9:07 Eddie Kaye Thomas I think.

9:07 Adam Well, don't movies eventually make money? I mean, DVDs and videos and pay-per-view and all that.

9:13 Eddie Kaye Thomas I don't know if Tom Green is popular in Zimbabwe, but they released these. I mean, American movies go all over the world.

9:18 Drew You know what? That's something. When I was in Italy a couple of weeks ago, there were movie ads on every bus stop and every side of every building. I thought to myself, oh my God, that's why movies are such a big deal because they go everywhere.

9:31 Eddie Kaye Thomas Yeah, I was just in Europe too and it's insane that you think you're in America, you see American movies, we just see them. Those movies that don't turn profit here go over to France and the French...

9:41 Adam No problem. Yeah, they become like Hasselhoff in Germany.

9:45 Drew Jerry Lewis.

9:47 Adam What's a dog over here is a king over there and probably vice versa. David?

9:54 Yeah.

9:54 Adam You're 17?

9:56 Drew Yep.

9:56 Adam What's up?

9:58 My girlfriend, she has a... I was fingering her one time and up inside of her, there was like a tampon, but not a tampon. It wasn't a tampon, but it was like skin and it was hard.

10:12 Drew You sure it wasn't a tampon?

10:14 Yeah. She said it wasn't.

10:16 Adam It was like white cotton skin with a string on it.

10:20 Drew But not a tampon.

10:25 It was just like the shape of it. It wouldn't look like it. And it felt like that.

10:28 Drew Well, some women have very long, firm, narrow cervix. And it can stick down into the vagina.

10:37 Adam Well, maybe it was feeling a hymen. No?

10:39 Drew No, no, a cervix.

10:40 Eddie Kaye Thomas You didn't take it out and look at it?

10:43 No, you couldn't do that.

10:45 Drew Was it like, what would look like that?

10:47 Adam The finger?

10:48 It was just like finger length up there. I could stick my fingers up there.

10:53 Drew Yeah, they can be long and narrow like that.

10:55 Adam And how?

10:56 Drew They can stick down like this, the vagina here. They can stick way down in like that.

10:59 Adam Right. So you could bottom out relatively quickly.

11:02 Drew Easily, yeah. You feel it.

11:03 Adam Still, there's a certain satisfaction in that.

11:06 Drew I know how to be searching for that woman.

11:07 Adam Trying to hit the bottom for a long time now.

11:10 Drew Yeah, I know.

11:10 Adam Yeah. I've extended my search into the animal kingdom. Hey, David.

11:17 Yeah.

11:17 Adam So it's probably all right. That's just the way she's cut out.

11:20 Drew Yeah, it's fine.

11:21 So it's nothing, no problems or anything?

11:25 Drew If what we're surmising to be the case is in fact the case, sure, it's normal.

11:30 Okay. And then she was also saying the other day she was running or something. She had like a pain in her side and she said that.

11:37 Adam Yeah.

11:38 That would probably just be just from.

11:39 Adam Well, that could have been your class rank.

11:42 Drew Yeah.

11:42 Adam Sometimes they move around up there.

11:44 Drew No one's ever had a pain in their side while running, have they?

11:47 Adam Not that I've heard of.

11:48 Drew Shocking. Well, just. All right.

11:49 Adam Listen, David has finally found a woman to hold still long enough for him to finger bang and he doesn't want anything to happen to her and I don't blame him.

11:57 Drew Yeah.

11:58 Adam When I was 17, if I found a girl who let me have my way with her.

12:02 Drew Oh, forget it.

12:02 Adam I would have kept her in a mason jar underneath my house and just fed her like I'd captured a butterfly or something.

12:10 Drew Let's face it, I wouldn't have been a living person anyways.

12:12 Adam Well, that's true. Very true. All right, David. Yeah, you all right? Yeah, she's fine. Okay. Good times there, buddy. All right? All right. There you go. Kathy? Hey. Hey.

12:24 Drew Hey, Kathy, hold on a second. I didn't dispense with the penis picture.

12:27 Adam All right.

12:27 Drew Hold on a second.

12:28 Adam Yeah.

12:28 Drew Hold on a second.

12:29 Adam Drew made a mistake a couple of weeks ago, which was what? What did you say over the air, Drew?

12:35 Drew I said, send me pictures that I can't get a description that means anything out of our callers when they call with skin problems.

12:42 Adam Right.

12:42 Drew So I said, we live in a day and age when you can just take a digital picture of your rash and email it to us. What's our email address?

12:51 Adam I was hoping for a boob rash, not a dork rash.

12:56 Drew It's lovelinearthing.net and here's one from Crazy Effer.

13:01 Adam And that's his penis?

13:02 Drew And that's his penis.

13:03 Adam Is that actual size?

13:06 Drew That's blown up ten times.

13:07 Adam Seems like he chubbed up a little for the shot.

13:11 Drew And he's worried that he has human papillomavirids or warts. And what I see here, as ill-fortune would have it, this is a difficult thing to nail down with just looking here. But I think that's more of a perlite penile papula.

13:25 Adam Let me see that.

13:29 Drew Taste?

13:30 Adam Well, I love the smell of Xerox paper, you know, and I love the smell of a good penis too. So I figure, you know, these are my two favorites. Yeah, there's his penis, and there are a couple of little white flakes on there.

13:44 Drew They could be warts, but it looks more like papules.

13:46 Adam Yeah. Looks like little whiteheads.

13:49 Eddie Kaye Thomas I agree.

13:50 Adam Yeah.

13:50 Eddie Kaye Thomas The great part was that was the first thing I saw when I walked in here tonight.

13:53 Drew We never had that here sitting here.

13:55 Eddie Kaye Thomas I'm sure. I'm sure everyone isn't studying penis pictures all night, every day here.

14:00 Adam But that was fairly effective.

14:03 Eddie Kaye Thomas Yeah.

14:03 Adam I mean, you got a good shot of what that was.

14:04 Drew That's my point. Compare that to the years of listening to descriptions of nothing.

14:09 Adam Well, let me give you... Let me... Let me...

14:10 Eddie Kaye Thomas It was a good shot, too. You got to consider that he had to take that shot or someone had to take that shot. You know, the light was right.

14:17 Adam It was well lit. I don't think he needed the fan going. But the movement, the pubic hair was a nice...

14:22 Eddie Kaye Thomas I'm a fan of the fan.

14:23 Drew He got the good angle.

14:25 Adam Yeah. He got the infected area right.

14:27 Drew His best side.

14:28 Adam Yeah. Here's what that would have sounded like over the air if he had called up to describe it.

14:33 Drew Oh yeah.

14:35 Adam Dude, my dick has got like cottage cheese on the bottom.

14:42 Drew No, it's going to be like this.

14:43 Adam To top.

14:43 Drew Dude, I got like a zit, but it's not a zit, but it's kind of like a zit when you squeeze it. No, nothing comes out, but it's a zit, dude. And it's... well, no, it's not.

14:54 Adam Alright. Well, now we got a picture. And listen, ladies, if you have problems too, feel free to send those pictures in.

15:00 Drew Oh, just rash. Rash is good for the pictures, especially.

15:04 Adam What about a little before and after? What if something worked out?

15:08 Drew I know you... last time we had a huge areola discussion.

15:11 Adam Yes, I would like that. I would like to settle that via a photograph.

15:18 Yeah.

15:18 Adam You're 14?

15:19 Caller Uh-huh.

15:19 Adam What's up?

15:20 Caller Okay, I'm just calling because me and my friend were kind of talking about something. And I just want to know if giving oral means you're not a virgin anymore.

15:30 Drew I think that's a great question. What does virginity mean to you?

15:33 Caller Um, I'm not really sure.

15:36 Drew That's a great answer, actually, because I think so many people have decided that virginity is a technicality that they themselves are going to sort of define. Well, virgin is, you know, you can have a penis so far in but not quite that far in, but you can have anal sex but you can't. You know, we hear this all the time, Adam, right?

15:53 Adam Yeah.

15:54 Drew And really, virginity ultimately was meant to refer to chastity. And so oral sex would really be sort of a non-virgin maneuver. And certainly in years gone by, oral sex came after intercourse.

16:07 Adam Yeah.

16:07 Eddie Kaye Thomas I've heard this a lot.

16:08 Adam I like to be finished off that way too, Drew.

16:10 Eddie Kaye Thomas People are worrying about oral losing your virginity, but then I've also heard more often that there's girls out there that have anal to protect their virginity. Because when you have anal, you're still a virgin.

16:21 Drew Yeah, that's not.

16:21 Eddie Kaye Thomas But don't do oral, isn't it?

16:24 Adam Right. Hey, Kathy.

16:25 Drew Totally nuts.

16:26 Adam Well, here's the thing. There's two types of virginity. There's the virginity that you have for yourself, for your own peace of mind or self-worth or whatever.

16:35 Drew Your values.

16:36 Adam And then there's your own values. And then there's the technical virginity.

16:40 Drew Yeah.

16:40 Adam That is for the outside world. And that's what's most important. So, yes. And here's why the oral sex. Yeah.

16:50 Drew Well, technical virginity is just the plane of the vagina being violated, right?

16:54 Adam I know.

16:55 Drew With the penis.

16:56 Adam I know. But there are, let's say, guys who might be hung up with this, or girlfriends who may judge, or clergy or family members or faculty.

17:06 Drew Don't you think clergy, family, or faculty would be more in the sort of chastity realm?

17:10 Adam Yeah, they would. That's why you don't tell them about the BJ part.

17:14 Eddie Kaye Thomas I don't think a guy that gave oral would feel like he lost his virginity.

17:17 Drew Oh, that's a good point.

17:18 Adam To a girl.

17:19 Eddie Kaye Thomas Yeah, that's a good, that's satisfied a girl. Not at all.

17:22 And if he tried to pass that off as losing his virginity in front of other guys, he'd get a nice rat's tailed owl.

17:27 Eddie Kaye Thomas We made a whole movie called American Pie about that.

17:30 Drew That is a great, great point. That is a great point.

17:32 Eddie Kaye Thomas Thank you, Dr. Drew.

17:33 Adam So, Kathy. Yeah. So, here's the good news. I think about oral sex. You can be a slut on the inside, but on the outside, when you finally do lose your virginity to that guy you think you're in love with, 15 months from now, you can tell him you're a virgin. And then don't say, but I've blown a truckload of guys. Just leave it at virgin.

17:58 Caller Okay.

17:58 Adam See what I'm saying?

17:59 Caller Yeah. All right.

18:02 Drew Adam, are you proud of yourself?

18:03 Adam She's 14. I am. I mean, no, I'm not. Go ahead.

18:08 Caller I just want to ask one quick other question. Can you get hepatitis type A from giving a blowjob?

18:17 Drew Yeah. Why?

18:18 Caller Well, I'm just asking.

18:20 Drew Why are you worried about A?

18:22 Caller Well, if the guy has B, can you get it on your mouth?

18:26 Drew B? I'm asking why are you worried about these particular types of hepatitis?

18:31 Adam Well, she blew this drifter and she saw some track marks on him.

18:35 Drew Will you vaccinate it against B? Maybe you don't know what these different types are.

18:39 Caller Which one is which?

18:40 Drew A is the one you get from traveling, like in Mexico, and it makes you very sick for a few weeks and then it's over.

18:47 Eddie Kaye Thomas You want to get it in Mexico?

18:49 Drew Well, I mean, in undeveloped countries, it's the oral fecal transmission type thing.

18:53 Caller Okay.

18:54 Drew The B is the one you should be vaccinating against. It's very contagious, but it's body fluid and usually blood. C is like HIV. It's not very contagious, but it's a real serious problem that often usually becomes chronic. It often results in cirrhosis and often liver cancer.

19:12 Adam I was told by my school counselor that I wasn't eligible for any of the hepatitis.

19:17 Drew There is a D.

19:19 Adam Yeah. You could get D. I don't think you could pull the C or D off.

19:21 Drew There's a delta factor. Yeah, you could have that.

19:23 Adam Yeah, he said I could have D. A out of the question, B iffy, and C, maybe C minus hepatitis, but more D.

19:33 Eddie Kaye Thomas That girl was really thinking out the oral thing. Yeah, every little aspect. Yeah, she wanted to cover her bases.

19:39 Adam She could make a career out of it. Yeah, she may be a virgin well into her 30s, but be like a Hoover. Ryan. Ryan.

19:50 Drew Call her who goes by Ryan with the boy from Phoenix.

19:55 Adam All right. We'll just put him on hold.

19:57 Drew Hey, I got to tell you something. Did I tell you about that radio show I did in Phoenix a couple of mornings ago?

20:02 Adam Yeah, you did. Anyway. Hey, Bruce.

20:04 No, did I?

20:05 Drew This is kind of an interesting story.

20:07 Adam All right. How interesting could it be if you're going to tell me if it's coming out of your mouth?

20:12 Drew Well, good point, but I think you'll appreciate it. Go ahead. Go ahead.

20:16 No, no, I'm not going to tell you.

20:18 Drew No, screw you. I'm not going to tell you.

20:19 Adam Now everyone wants to know.

20:22 No.

20:23 Eddie Kaye Thomas See, I'm not that interested.

20:24 Adam Thank you. Eddie doesn't care, but you can't do this to the listeners. They think a good story is coming, so let's hear it.

20:31 Drew There was a patient and friend called me and said, you know, my niece just called me. They're having this radio promotion, Phoenix. The most famous person you know, if they call in the next five minutes, did I say about this?

20:42 Adam Oh, no, but radio stations do that all the time.

20:44 Drew But this was an interesting promotion. You'll get a trip to Scotland. You get to go see U-Tomb. It was quite a trip. I said, I'm fine. I'll call in.

20:50 Adam The next five minutes.

20:52 Drew Yeah, so I call in, and I'm on hold, and they got a guy now and says, well, we got, here's what we got. We've got Greg Kinnear, Martin Sheen, Dennis Quaid, and I thought, oh my God, and I listened. I listened. I'm calling out, and that's who it was.

21:08 Adam And then Dr. Drew.

21:10 Drew Yeah, like I have a prayer.

21:11 Adam Right. So were they Senator Bakersfield?

21:14 Drew No, of course, they didn't. But isn't it interesting how they can have Phoenix?

21:18 Adam I guess people are connected. Or, I don't know. I mean, what do you do? Check for ID? I mean, how do you know if it's really that?

21:26 Drew It would be the world's best imitations.

21:28 Adam All right. And no one would question you because like, who would get Drew to call? They get a real celebrity, right?

21:34 Drew That's right.

21:34 Adam Bruce?

21:35 Yeah, I'm here.

21:36 Adam Yeah, well, you're 35. What's up?

21:38 Caller Adam, before I forget, Mahalo. What does that mean?

21:41 Eddie Kaye Thomas No. Yeah, I've been, I actually...

21:44 Drew You've never been to Hawaii?

21:45 Eddie Kaye Thomas I have been to Hawaii, but your show is a guilty pleasure of mine. And I started saying that and I think I started saying it wrong.

21:52 Caller I got a buddy of mine who was in the Army in Hawaii. He said it was a colloquialism for goodbye in Hawaiian.

21:59 Drew Not really.

21:59 Eddie Kaye Thomas I assumed it was Hebrew.

22:01 Drew How could he live in Hawaii and think Mahalo means goodbye?

22:05 Adam That's thank you. But the Hawaiians, as I've said, are the most laziest people in the world. That's why they have those huge guts and those big calves. They just sit around all day shucking pineapple. And so what they said is, look, let's not invent a word for every word. Let's come up with one word that covers maybe 15 or 20 words. And then we only have to have three or four words in our language and we'll save some energy when we're talking.

22:28 Drew Aloha.

22:29 Adam Aloha and Mahalo are like, Aloha is the coming and Mahalo is sort of the going.

22:35 Drew But Mahalo is more thank you than just goodbye.

22:37 Adam Yeah. But it's like Aloha is, you know, welcome and hello and all that.

22:43 Eddie Kaye Thomas You make it sound Hebrew.

22:45 Caller Yeah, I thought it was Hebrew too.

22:46 Drew It strikes you, it strikes you, you're estranging when you go to Hawaii because you don't hear Aloha and you hear Mahalo every five minutes.

22:53 Right.

22:53 Drew The stewardess has started with it, the flight attendant started in with, thank you on Mahalo. Thank you on Mahalo.

22:58 Right.

22:58 Adam Right. And it's interesting that Aloha made it back but Mahalo never made it back.

23:04 Drew On every trash can it says Mahalo. I thought it said trash, trash.

23:07 Yeah.

23:08 Adam Yeah. Well, I brought Mahalo to the States. Thank you.

23:12 Caller Thank you.

23:12 Adam There you go, Bruce. Thank you.

23:14 Caller Anyway.

23:14 Adam Thank you on Mahalo.

23:16 Caller Here's my situation. I got a friend of mine. She's struggling with addiction, mostly cocaine and some other drugs. But anyhow, I've been sober for three plus years and she stays with her parents because they're helping her out because she gets in trouble and goes to rehab over and over and over and over. They got a little bit of money. Anyway, we've been friends for many years. We were friends when we were addicted. And now her parents don't think that we should be associating because they feel that as a result of our past association that it's going to bring her down.

23:58 Drew Let's ask this. How thorough and sincere is your recovery?

24:03 Caller Well, like I said, like I told you last week, I talked to you on Thursday. I haven't touched anything. It's been over three years since February 13th.

24:13 Drew So no alcohol, no pout, no nothing?

24:15 Caller No. That's all I do. I smoke cigarettes. That's it. I work out.

24:19 Caller That's what I place my trust in.

24:21 Drew Why would they object to you being around you? They would be a good influence.

24:24 Caller Well, they feel that, based on their... They were pretty ignorant to begin with. They had no idea what was going on. But now what they've learned is she goes to Al-Anon. The mom.

24:33 Drew Why don't you maybe go to their family?

24:35 Adam Wait a second. Are you having sex with this woman?

24:38 Caller No.

24:39 Adam All right. So what do you care?

24:40 Drew Do you want to?

24:40 Adam Why are you working so hard?

24:42 Drew She wants to.

24:42 Caller No, we're friends. We've been friends.

24:44 Adam You like her physically? Well, yeah.

24:47 Caller We're more friends.

24:48 Adam Yeah, I know. You're more friends because she won't let you have sex with her.

24:53 Caller No, that's not true at all. I mean, if I could call her up right now, I just got the phone with her. She can come over right now. That's not a matter of...

25:00 Adam Okay, but how old is she?

25:01 Caller She's 26.

25:02 Adam She's 26. You're 35. You're single?

25:06 Caller Yeah.

25:06 Adam And you have no interest in her?

25:09 Caller No, we're just friends.

25:11 Adam What's with the...

25:13 Caller Well, back when we were... You know, years ago, I mean, we used to sleep together, but that was... Again, it was basically two friends masturbating together, and it wasn't a matter of a relationship, you know?

25:26 Adam Hold on. That's another good WB series idea. Let's get down, Drew. One guy's from Scotland, the other guy's from Jersey, and they whack off together.

25:35 Drew Two guys and a girl and a...

25:39 Adam Hey, Bruce? Okay, so she's a big girl, she's living at home, she's getting her life straight, why don't you just... And her parents are pain in the ass, and I understand because, look, parents... Friends' parents have been blaming me for years.

25:55 Drew I couldn't imagine you being a negative influence on anyone. That'd be shocking.

25:59 Adam My buddy, the Wheeze, smokes more weed than Jerry Garcia ever did, and I never smoked weed. He got me smoking weed, but yet his mom would always go like, Adam, I don't trust him. He's like massaging your lungs and French kissing you and blowing weed into your mouth. Parents have huge denial. I actually had a school counselor in an open house meeting with other parents discuss me and my placement where I was sitting too close to their child. By the way, that's how you know you're a bad student. When your name is coming up in parent-teacher conferences that don't involve your parents or your teacher, you're just in the class.

26:41 Drew Not in a positive time.

26:42 Adam Right, right. You got to move them away from that Adam Corolla. That guy's trouble. He'll take you. The big, my big wrap is he'll take you down with him.

26:50 Drew Now listen, for Bruce, if she is in a program right now, there must be a family component of treatment and maybe you can go in and participate with that and sort of get the family to open up about this and maybe, if there's a facilitator, they can sort of get a little reality going.

27:04 Adam She's 26. Let her make her own decision.

27:06 Eddie Kaye Thomas There you go.

27:07 Adam Thank you. Eddie Kaye Thomas is here from American Pie 2, which is out this Friday. We'll take a little break and we'll be back. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, except for that's not Dr. Drew.

27:33 Eddie Kaye Thomas It's definitely not.

27:34 Adam He's calling the hospital. His pager went off. Eddie Kaye Thomas is our guest tonight. You know him as Finch from American Pie and also as Finch from American Pie 2, which is coming out this Friday in theaters everywhere.

27:47 Eddie Kaye Thomas All over the place.

27:48 Adam And what was the budget for? Well, I guess the budget was higher because they had to pay the talent more, right?

27:53 Eddie Kaye Thomas Yeah, we were, well, not, I made some more money, but yeah, there's, I mean, they're movie stars now. So we, I think we almost, we doubled the budget, but we also got a lot of cooler stuff, you know, better food. Oh, yeah, sure. And we had a bigger craft service table, just an all around, we had some security guards. So they were spending their money, spending it wisely.

28:15 Adam Where did you film it?

28:16 Eddie Kaye Thomas Here, Los Angeles, California, making it look like Michigan. Lake Michigan is a huge part of the film, and it's actually a Pacific Ocean, believe it or not.

28:25 Adam Really?

28:26 Eddie Kaye Thomas Movie magic. It's a wonderful thing. Yeah, it was a local thing, as was the first one, Los Angeles.

28:33 Adam Oh, that's right. Didn't you guys go out of town, though, to do the first one, to, like, Bakersfield or some area?

28:42 Eddie Kaye Thomas Not so much.

28:43 Adam It wasn't out of town?

28:44 Eddie Kaye Thomas We went to Monrovia once. Is that out of town? No, that's not out of town.

28:49 Adam No, I don't know what... Oh, you know what movie I think I was thinking of was, like, I don't know, Urban Legend or some crap like that?

28:58 Eddie Kaye Thomas No, we're a local hire, you know? That's how you save some money, right? Right. And...

29:05 Adam And you shot it all in town?

29:06 Eddie Kaye Thomas Shot it all here. It's very impressive watching these movie types make magic happen and avoid palm trees and...

29:15 Adam Right. All the stuff that would be the LA tip-off. Drew? You all right?

29:19 Drew I'm great.

29:19 Adam Call the hospital? Yep. Everyone alive?

29:22 Drew Everyone's cool.

29:24 Adam Or Laif? Leaf.

29:26 Eddie Kaye Thomas That's my nickname.

29:27 What's up there, Leaf?

29:28 Caller Hi, Adam. Did you get the Tom Vu tape I sent you for your birthday? Oh.

29:33 Adam No, I did not get the Tom Vu tape.

29:35 Drew Damn.

29:37 Adam I love Tom Vu.

29:38 Caller Yeah, I know. My friend from high school, like, taped it for some reason. He kept it all these years.

29:45 Adam Is he in jail right now?

29:47 Caller No, he's a psychiatrist.

29:49 Adam Send me another...

29:50 Eddie Kaye Thomas He's where?

29:51 He's just, like, hiding.

29:53 Adam Send me another Tom Vu tape. For those of you who don't know what Tom Vu is, he is one of these late night infomercial guys, except for he's going to tell you how to make money in real estate with no money down.

30:05 Eddie Kaye Thomas But he's not Mr. Question Mark, is he?

30:07 Adam No, not the guy with the question mark blazer, that insane guy who's all beat up on speed of standing out front of the capitol building, screaming about getting free stuff from Pueblo, Colorado. I hate that son of a bitch, but Tom Vu, Tom Vu is a real infomercial icon. He's from, where is he, Vietnamese? Is he Vietnam? Oh, Leif doesn't know. I come from both. Yeah, he's like, but he was great because most guys do an infomercial and they sort of beg you to take their course. It'll be good. You'll be glad you did it. But not Tom Vu. He would challenge you. You're weak. You're too chicken to make money. You don't want to get off your fat ass round eye and make a dollar. There you go. There you go. You see this picture? That's me. That's me and my 14 brothers and sisters. We come over in tuna can from Vietnam. I come to this country. I clean dishes for a living. But I parlay it. And he'd be great. So he challenged you. You man enough? You too weak? You can't make money. But if you want to be a man, you take my course. And he'd have this great mansion in somewhere in Florida, like Key West or something. He'd go, you see that, Ferrari? That's my toy. You see Lamborghini? That's my toy. This house? That's where I keep my toy. And then he'd be on top of that scarab boat with like 14 coke horse just cruising the harbor. You want boat? You want toy like me? You got to work hard, Rondi! And he starts screaming at people. Am I exaggerating, Leaf? No, not at all. Yeah. He's on with the Porsche and the boat and the helicopter. And then he went to jail.

31:51 Drew He's in jail now, right?

31:52 Adam Well, here's the catch-22 about all that stuff. If you have figured out an ingenious way to make millions of dollars and it's a foolproof plan using a no-money-down technique on real estate.

32:05 Drew You're not telling anybody.

32:06 Adam You ain't telling your wife or your best friend about this. You are just scurrying off to the bank and signing papers and making money hand over desk.

32:14 Eddie Kaye Thomas There's no logic involved when you're watching Channel 12 at 4 in the morning.

32:18 Adam That's true. That's just high enough to sign up for that course. So anyway, Leaf, go ahead, send me another one of those Tom food tapes, please.

32:25 Caller Okay. Also, why is Dr. Drew an internist now instead of a board certified physician?

32:30 Drew Because I'm...

32:31 Adam Boy, you listen, Leaf.

32:33 Drew I appreciate that. I think I'm going to go back to physician, but I'm actually having the AMA tell me whether from an ethical standpoint, I should be identified as an internist or a physician if somebody objected to that. And Mike, I used to say internist, but our callers hear that they hear intern.

32:48 Adam Oh.

32:49 Drew You're still in training? All right. And so we're kind of screwing around with it right now.

32:52 Adam And Drew told me.

32:53 Caller How much time do you do or does it have to do with how much time you work?

32:57 Drew No, I'm an internist. I am a board certified internist, and that's my specialty. And somebody suggested that I should identify as such.

33:05 Adam I'm going to say physician tomorrow night for you to leave.

33:09 Caller Oh, and Dr. Drew, you were right about the stunt penis. That was my penis. It's not only pristine, it's also detachable, and Adam has to borrow it that night.

33:19 Drew Oh, that was yours?

33:20 Caller Yeah, it was mine.

33:20 Drew Well, it was pristine. It was really something.

33:23 Adam Leif listens to the show way too closely.

33:25 Eddie Kaye Thomas Too much.

33:27 Adam Drew checked my penis one night on the air for warts and suggested that, well, just because I keep my penis in cellophane, he said it was new and had never been used before.

33:37 Drew Yeah, it was pristine. It was like an unwrapped penis.

33:40 Eddie Kaye Thomas And Leif was offering you a new penis?

33:42 Drew No, I accused Adam of bringing in a stunt penis that night. And Leif is saying it was his.

33:47 Eddie Kaye Thomas It's a big fan. Yeah.

33:48 Adam My penis still has that new penis smell, too.

33:51 Drew Now mind you, it did. A year ago this happened, I think, or more than a year ago.

33:54 Adam Yeah. Eleanor? Yeah. You're 17?

33:57 Drew Oh, you're not going to talk to Leif?

33:58 Adam No.

33:59 Drew Okay.

33:59 Adam What's he want?

34:00 Eddie Kaye Thomas He talked to Leif.

34:00 Adam He talked enough. Eleanor, you're 17.

34:03 Drew Yeah.

34:04 Adam You're on with Eddie Thomas from American Pie 2.

34:07 Well, first off, I want to say, Eddie, I loved you in the movie.

34:10 Eddie Kaye Thomas Thank you very much.

34:12 Awesome. I loved you.

34:13 Eddie Kaye Thomas Thank you.

34:14 Okay.

34:16 I was having sex with my boyfriend earlier today.

34:20 And we tried this new position, but he didn't even tell me that he was going to try this.

34:26 Drew What did he do that he couldn't enlist your assistance with?

34:29 Well, he... See, we were in the missionary position, and then he grabbed my legs and he put them on his...

34:38 He put my ankles on his shoulders, kind of.

34:40 Adam Right.

34:41 Caller And then he kind of sat up a little.

34:45 Adam Right.

34:46 It's kind of hard to explain.

34:47 Adam No, I'm with you.

34:49 Eddie Kaye Thomas We're there. Yeah, we see it.

34:51 But anyway, then it started to hurt really, really, really badly, and I made him stop, and he looked at it, and I was bleeding. I think he ripped something.

35:03 Caller I think he ripped the lower part of my vagina.

35:06 Drew That doesn't make sense. It takes like a baby's head to do that.

35:10 Kind of like ripped or stretched or something.

35:13 Drew No, the bleeding could have just been coming from your uterus, right? Are you near your period?

35:18 Yeah, kind of.

35:18 Drew Yeah, that's just that.

35:20 Eddie Kaye Thomas Maybe he has a baby's head down there.

35:22 Adam You would have, let's say dwarf's head. Baby's head is, I don't like to think about a baby's head down there. I like to think about dwarf's head.

35:28 Drew Yeah, a munchkin head.

35:29 Adam Hey, Eleanor?

35:30 Yeah.

35:31 Adam First off, you're 17? Eleanor?

35:34 Caller Yeah.

35:34 Caller That's a family name.

35:36 Adam Yeah, no kidding. Time to move on from that. Yeah, don't name your kid Eleanor, right?

35:43 No, absolutely not.

35:44 Adam All right. You're fine. I mean, you'd feel it if you ripped, wouldn't you?

35:50 It hurt really, really badly.

35:52 Drew But it hurt, it hurt up in your abdomen?

35:53 Adam Was it from the inside or the outside?

35:55 Caller The outside.

35:56 Adam The outside hurt.

35:57 Drew The vagina, if you touch the vagina, is there a wound there, something that hurts when you touch it?

36:02 Adam Yeah.

36:02 Drew Oh, well.

36:03 Adam Well, there is.

36:04 I told you, it ripped.

36:05 Adam Let me send a picture in. Yeah, take a picture of upstairs too, so we can just have a reference. Oh yeah. Hey, you mean, if you, it's on the bottom part. I mean, if you sort of sit on the toilet and bend your head around, you can see a wound.

36:26 Caller I haven't tried that yet, but...

36:29 Drew Did she suddenly break into Welsh?

36:30 Adam To have him check, yeah, yeah. She turned into Mr. Tudball from the Carol Burnettia. Hey, haven't checked, yeah. Alright. Wow. Wow. So, I mean, listen, that's not a preposterous question for someone who called the show and said their vagina was cut. I'm asking if he saw the cut.

36:52 No, he saw it.

36:54 Drew He saw blood.

36:55 He saw a lot of blood.

36:56 Drew Yeah, but that meant not necessarily a cut.

36:59 Adam Can't you check yourself? Go check yourself.

37:01 Drew Take a warm bath.

37:02 Adam No, I'm going to put you on hold.

37:04 Drew Hey, here's the thing.

37:05 Adam Eleanor, would you check yourself, please?

37:07 Okay.

37:08 Drew Another email.

37:09 Adam Would you shut up, Drew, for Christ's sake? I'll get back to you in a second, alright?

37:13 Alright.

37:14 Adam Alright, now clean yourself up and check yourself and see if you can find this cut.

37:17 Drew Look, we want to know that you can see a wound.

37:20 Okay.

37:21 Adam Alright, go ahead.

37:23 Drew Here's an email from AngelDoll. My boyfriend has like a, I'm reading directly out this email. My boyfriend has like a huge scar, this is pertinent to this ripping vagina thing. My boyfriend has like a huge scar that starts from right below his asshole, can I say that? It goes all the way up to the head of his penis, it's like a line, it looks like it was cut at one time.

37:44 Adam Right.

37:45 Drew What is it?

37:46 Adam He also has these two round things the size of a penny on his chest, on each side, and his nose has two holes in the bottom of it that make a whistling sound when he sleeps.

38:00 Eddie Kaye Thomas But given some credit to her, we were talking about this before we came on the air, and you know, I know the line is there, but it's, and you point it out, you're like, oh yeah, there is a line there.

38:09 Drew Well, Adam has referred to it as the...

38:10 Adam That's the place, I believe, God stuffed humans.

38:14 Eddie Kaye Thomas He stuffed them. It all started there.

38:15 Adam That's the scene.

38:16 Drew And all the organs are pushed up in through there.

38:18 Adam I believe the way man was built was he's sewn like a pillowcase and then stuffed through that area, and that's the part you sewed on.

38:24 Eddie Kaye Thomas It gives you some pillowcase vibes, definitely, yeah.

38:26 Adam Now, sometimes that line is more pronounced.

38:29 Drew I know, he probably has a pronounced one, yeah.

38:31 Adam And when it gets cold sometimes, you're not shriveling, you can see it. Sometimes, you've been eating Mexican food too much, and you love a little drip going down there, and it becomes like a little fin on you between your legs. Everything can get a little inflamed, it becomes like a part of an airplane at a certain part. It becomes like a stabilizer fin. Do you know what I'm talking about?

38:55 Drew Yes.

38:56 Adam What is that?

38:57 Drew That's when you have a little activity going down there, and the thing becomes very inflamed.

39:02 Adam Yeah, it's like the juices are bad down there.

39:04 Eddie Kaye Thomas So it's not just skin, it's an actual...

39:06 Drew No, it's skin, but he's talking about a little leakage of some diarrheal stool into that region, eroding that area and causing sufficient irritation to swell.

39:17 Adam That's right, ladies.

39:21 Drew Oh, I am moved. I'm touched.

39:24 Adam I was thinking about getting it pierced and then it shrunk back down again. We'll take a little break. Eddie Thomas is here from American Pie, too, and we'll be back.

39:36 Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

39:43 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Love Line. That's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1. Eddie Kaye Thomas is here. He plays Finch from American Pie and now American Pie, too, which is coming out this week on Friday. And when is this Ben Affleck, Mac Damon produced movie, Stolen Summer, coming out?

40:08 Eddie Kaye Thomas They're going to start airing. There's also an HBO series that goes along with it. I think it's called Project Greenlight. That's going to start around December, I think, this year. And then that'll lead up to the opening of the movie. And the movie comes out in April. So look for the TV show, the movie.

40:26 Adam And everything. WB.

40:27 Drew The action figures.

40:28 Adam It's a package. I ate half an onion and a couple cloves of garlic before I came in here. And it just dawned on me that that may be something that's bothering you.

40:38 Drew No, me?

40:39 Adam Any of you? Eddie, perhaps?

40:41 Drew No, you don't.

40:41 Eddie Kaye Thomas Was there anything else besides the onion and the garlic? No.

40:45 Drew Did you have any pasta fazool or raisin bread?

40:48 Adam I haven't broken wind and I haven't belched yet. But Drew has complained in the past over my garlic.

40:53 Drew Well, when you let those eruptions go, you're belching. It's just like, whoa.

40:57 Eddie Kaye Thomas It's a more intimate room than you imagined.

40:59 Drew Is that right?

41:00 Eddie Kaye Thomas This is a very close space.

41:02 Drew We like this. I like to sit at the table and face each other. No?

41:07 Adam No. I'd rather.

41:09 Drew And, Eddie, imagine those nights when I'm complaining about the smells.

41:12 Eddie Kaye Thomas From him?

41:13 Drew Yeah. Yes. He's killed me a couple of times. I just imagine the fabric absorbs it.

41:18 Eddie Kaye Thomas Yeah.

41:18 Drew I mean, it's just inescapable.

41:20 Eddie Kaye Thomas Adam looks very relaxed. He just lets it rip.

41:23 Adam Oh, yes.

41:24 Drew Well, back to the point. Gio? Let a few go for you, I'm sure.

41:28 Adam Gio, you're 19. The listeners demand it. What's up, Gio?

41:32 Caller Hi. My boyfriend's best friend sexually assaulted me last weekend. And he lied about it, of course, when my boyfriend confronted him. And he was insinuating that I was crazy and all this and that. And he was saying that, well, I'm a pro-Zac. And he was saying that, you know, alcohol and pro-Zac causes delusions and all this stuff.

41:53 And what happened?

41:55 Caller Basically, what happened was we had been drinking a little bit that night when we went to go visit him. My boyfriend passed out in the other room. And then I was watching TV, fell asleep, and I woke up. And the next thing I know, he's just friends on top of me. And...

42:10 Drew Wait, wait, wait. Your best...

42:11 Adam His best friend.

42:12 Caller Yeah, his best friend, sorry.

42:14 Adam Who... How good of friends are you with him?

42:17 Caller Um, I mean, I've met him before, but I'm not really great friends with him.

42:20 Drew Alright, alright. What happened?

42:21 Caller Um, and, you know, he was just forcing himself on me, and I told him to stop, and he wouldn't cut it out. And, um, he just kept, you know, doing it. And I was just like, you know, please just let go. And finally, he stopped, and I went and told my boyfriend, and my boyfriend didn't quite believe it at first, because, I mean, this is like his best friend from elementary school.

42:42 Drew Yeah. Was this guy totally loaded?

42:44 Caller Um, no, actually, it was like, it was towards like three or four in the morning, and by then, I was, I mean, I was completely sober.

42:50 Drew Yeah, but him, could he have been completely intoxicated?

42:52 Caller Um, no, I don't think he was.

42:54 Drew That's not an excuse, but I'm just trying to set this up.

42:56 Caller Yeah, no, I think he knew what he was doing.

42:58 Adam Oh, he knew what he was doing.

43:00 Caller Yeah.

43:01 Adam But this, sometimes it's a fact that you're loaded.

43:03 Drew Alright, so have you ever been assaulted before? Or do you have a history of abuse or victimization?

43:06 Adam No, never. She doesn't, you know why?

43:09 Drew You can tell, she busted his nuts right away.

43:10 Adam She does what everyone else does, what you're supposed to do. Which is, we have people who call, it was so funny, Jill. Boy, the sexual assault was a gas. Boy, that was funny. But I don't mean it was funny, funny, haha, but funny, interesting. When she was telling the story, I was prepared for her to say he held me down. I told him no, but he forced it on me anyway.

43:32 Drew I didn't tell anybody.

43:33 Adam We had sex, and the next day, my boyfriend didn't believe me. And that would have been someone who was victimized before. Because someone who hadn't been victimized, like Jill, would start screaming, pull her hands away from this guy, and immediately go tell somebody.

43:47 Drew And then be angry when people didn't believe her.

43:50 Adam Right.

43:50 Drew Feel indignant, which you should.

43:52 Adam So this guy never really did anything, but he tried to do something.

43:55 Caller Well, I mean, he managed to do something.

43:58 Adam What did he do?

43:59 Caller Well, he pretty much did everything but have sex with me. And I was pushing him off me, but I mean, he's stronger.

44:07 Adam Well, what do you mean did everything but have sex?

44:10 Caller Well, he was touching me in places he shouldn't have been.

44:14 Drew All right, Gio, let her have it.

44:18 Adam What do you mean? I mean, I'm trying to figure this out.

44:20 Drew Was there oral sex involved?

44:23 Caller What?

44:23 Adam Was there oral sex involved?

44:25 Caller He tried to and I just slapped him off.

44:28 Adam Well, you've got to give him credit for trying.

44:29 Drew This guy was in like a freight train. Wow. With a badger.

44:33 Adam But how long did this go on?

44:36 Caller It went on for a couple of minutes and I was just like get off me and I hesitated to tell my boyfriend at first because... Right. Right.

44:42 Adam You don't want to make a scene.

44:43 Caller Yeah. I didn't want to make a scene and also like I thought May is just drunk and he stopped so he probably knows what he did was wrong and whatever. So I was like okay. And then I got up and then when I wanted to see what he would say to me and he was just like, oh, you were having nightmares and you were talking in your sleep and stuff and I want to make sure you're okay and like you woke me up and all that and I was like yeah, right.

45:04 Adam And the guy is a prick and a predator and then what's up with your boyfriend that he hangs out with this guy full time?

45:11 Drew And that he won't believe you.

45:12 Adam And that he doesn't believe you.

45:13 Caller Well, he believes me now but I mean at first like he was just it was hard for him to believe just because he's been friends with this guy.

45:20 Drew What do you want from Oz? What can we do for you to help you?

45:22 Caller Well, basically like I just to you know I'm not prepared to press charges right now. I just have too much stuff going on but I want him to admit to my boyfriend so you know like he knows for sure what happened because I still think there's a little doubt in my boyfriend's mind and I was thinking of you know like threatening the you know the best friend and saying you know I'm going to press charges if you don't admit it.

45:45 Caller Yeah.

45:47 Adam Not a bad call but your boyfriend who is your boyfriend after all who you should have no motivation for fabricating something like this.

45:56 Drew Yeah.

45:56 Adam If your boyfriend refuses to believe you then there's something wrong with him in the relationship.

46:02 Drew That's exactly right. I don't think you need to get into it with this perpetrator because perpetrators, victimizers, not much scares them. They figure out they figure they're going to weasel out from anything anyway. So you got to sit down your boyfriend and say hey you know I am telling you the truth I need you to support me on this and if you can't there's something wrong and this relationship may have to end. Really. But it needs to be between you and him and he needs to come to terms with this.

46:26 Adam Okay. All right. All right. I'm disgusted at all of you. Eddie Kaye Thomas is our guest tonight for American Pie 2. We'll take a little break when we come back. We'll talk to, what do you want to talk to Karen?

46:39 Drew We lost the woman with the torn vagina.

46:40 Adam Yeah.

46:41 Drew And staff came rushing in here during the break to assure me that they have torn vaginas too. And so.

46:46 Adam Staff did?

46:47 Drew I can't tell you.

46:47 Adam You talking about Anderson's staff?

46:48 Drew I can't tell you about Anderson's staff, yeah. No.

46:51 Adam Right. Big staff. I know. The things like. It really is. It is like his third arm. It lit a cigarette for me the other day. It really did. I was just standing in front of him. I said, where did this come from? Pound right out of his pants. And it was one of those California lighters with the safety on it too.

47:07 Caller I don't know how I figured that out.

47:09 Adam We'll take a break. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew over there. Eddie Kaye Thomas is our guest tonight. You know, Ms. Finch from American Pie, and now American Pie 2, which is coming out this Friday. Seth Green is, oh, go ahead and turn Eddie's mic on. Seth Green's coming on the show tomorrow night.

47:37 Eddie Kaye Thomas He's good times.

47:38 Adam He's a really nice guy, that Seth Green.

47:41 Eddie Kaye Thomas Funny as heck.

47:42 Adam And he's funny, and I just...

47:44 Drew He hasn't come on this show since he was like 14.

47:47 Eddie Kaye Thomas He's been in the game since he was like, born.

47:50 Adam Well, he was the ivory soap baby, I think, or the downy baby when he was, you know, four months.

47:57 Eddie Kaye Thomas The young Woody Allen, Radio Days?

47:59 Adam Oh, that's right. That was him.

48:01 Eddie Kaye Thomas That was him.

48:03 Adam Wow.

48:03 Eddie Kaye Thomas I hope I'm right. I'm not sure.

48:05 Adam I think it is. Yeah, that was a great movie. I love that Radio Days. See that, Drew?

48:12 Drew No. No. Which is kind of, you know, I make a point of seeing Woody Allen films, too. I don't think I saw that one.

48:16 Adam That was a particularly good one.

48:18 Drew Really?

48:18 Adam Yes.

48:19 Drew I make a point of... I only saw like half of Deconstructing Harriet, too.

48:23 Eddie Kaye Thomas That's the best one.

48:24 Drew Troubling to me, yeah.

48:25 Eddie Kaye Thomas Yeah, it was the best one.

48:26 Adam Well, go see the other half of that and then see the entire Radio Days. All right, let's talk to Karen, who's 31, although you don't have to see Small Time Criminals or Crooks or whatever that was.

48:37 Drew I saw that one.

48:38 Adam That was a disaster.

48:38 Drew I saw it. I liked that.

48:40 Adam No, that was bad. Karen?

48:43 Caller Yes.

48:43 Adam You're 31, go ahead.

48:45 Caller Hi, I got a little bit inspired by the caller a while ago that said she had big nipples because I had big nipples, so I thought, well, I'll call it, even though my call has nothing to do with that, but anyway.

48:55 Eddie Kaye Thomas I've got big nipples.

48:58 Adam Yes, even if your call isn't about nipples, just the fact that someone else with big nipples inspired you to call is good enough for me.

49:07 Caller Well, my question is...

49:08 Adam Well, how big are your nipples as long as we're on them?

49:11 Caller Well, my size is 36B, and I'd say my nipples are probably about, not as big as a coffee mug like the last girl, but about a little bit bigger than silver dollars.

49:24 Adam On a bee cup, huh?

49:26 Caller Right.

49:26 Adam Well, that's freakish.

49:28 Caller Yeah, it's kind of big, yeah, and they protrude more than they are like wide in diameter. They're more protruding big than they are wide big.

49:36 Yikes.

49:38 Adam Right, but they don't stick out further than they are wide, but you're just saying relative to the width, they stick out more. So the whole area is swollen there.

49:50 Caller Yeah.

49:51 Adam Nice.

49:51 Caller All right. One also say, I love The Man Show. Drew, I also read your column in USA Weekend.

49:56 Drew Oh, thanks, Karen.

49:57 Caller Very cool.

49:57 Adam What? What? What column?

49:59 Drew I've been writing that for like two years.

50:00 Adam You got a column in USA Weekend?

50:03 Drew Yeah.

50:04 Adam When do you write that?

50:06 Drew When they ask me to, like every month or so. Really? Yeah.

50:09 Adam Two years you've been doing that.

50:10 Drew Yeah.

50:11 Adam Huh. Never knew that.

50:13 Drew But this is you and me, right? You know what I'm saying?

50:16 Adam Yeah. Drew doesn't talk about too much of his own ass on this show. Not professionally, and I don't either. We complain about important things like model airplanes and cars.

50:27 Drew I don't have a promotional bone in my body.

50:30 Adam USA Today, by the way, that's my newspaper because it has the big print, the pictures and everything. It's like a Sullivan book. I always feel embarrassed when I'm on a flight. They come by in the first class cam, then they come by like Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, Christian Science Monitor, USA Today. And I always feel like I have to qualify as like, I'll take up like I'm thinking about, look, give me the USA Today. I read the other ones on the cab ride over. Thanks. I think there may be something on me in there. I just want to check it out. I'm not really going to read it. So go ahead there, Karen.

51:06 Caller Well, my question is, my husband watches, well, doesn't watch, looks at porn quite a bit on the Internet. And I'm bothered by it somewhat, not tremendously. And he knows that I know he does it. He still does it. He knows I'm bothered by it, but I don't do the whole mommy thing, you know, oh, you better stop it. I don't mind if he does it.

51:28 Drew Just swatting him with the newspaper.

51:30 Adam Right.

51:31 Caller The thing I have a question about is, I'm kind of interested in going to a strip club with him. And the last caller that also had said that, I was kind of...

51:40 Eddie Kaye Thomas Bad news.

51:41 Caller I'm interested in the sense of, I'm wanting to see if that would turn him on and turn me on. If it would be something that might help to light things up.

51:50 Drew Yeah, there's some women that go down that path, right?

51:53 Adam What, who enjoy a strip club? Yeah. I'd say a lot of women enjoy that.

51:57 Drew A lot?

51:58 Adam No. No.

52:00 Eddie Kaye Thomas Isn't it universal though with the relationship of a woman? I never told you this story.

52:03 Drew I made, I don't know, I was going to kill me on this one.

52:05 Adam Go ahead. I made, hold on, Drew's going to tell us a story that's going to get him killed when he gets home, so let's enjoy it.

52:10 Drew So Adam's delighted. The last, second to last strip party I was at was my bachelor party.

52:16 Adam Right.

52:16 Drew This was ten years ago. And somehow that, just like with Ann, my wife gets very bothered by this whole idea of a bachelor party. And of course, Ann took a nice big bellows and fueled those flames as much as she could.

52:29 Adam Oh, producer Ann got in on yours too?

52:31 Drew Oh yeah, as much as she could.

52:32 Adam She should really be just kidding. She really needs a fire starter.

52:35 Drew So I said we were, we were.

52:37 Adam By the way, to say that your wife is a little bit protective or suspicious is an understatement. She smells Drew's underpants when he comes home every night looking for the scent of a woman on there.

52:48 Drew So and she has nothing to worry about. This is the really, that's the bizarre thing.

52:51 Adam I know, Drew is totally pee whipped, but gets his ass kicked anyway by his wife, which I always find ironic.

52:58 Drew So I was so tired of her sort of whining about that event. And fast forward now a year and a half, we have six months old triplets. We're going to take our first night out in Las Vegas. We've had a wait since we've been. And I go, I'm tired of this. I'm taking you to that strip club to show you what I don't, no more imagination, no more fantasy about what this was.

53:17 Adam Which one? No, don't read her.

53:21 Drew It's sort of outside, outside away is from Las Vegas.

53:23 Adam That's a chicken ranch.

53:24 Drew No, no.

53:25 Adam That's a disaster.

53:26 Drew No, it's not a, it was a dance floor. And she went and I said, look, see, no big deal. Sobbing, crying the whole time.

53:33 Adam Your wife.

53:33 Eddie Kaye Thomas Yeah.

53:34 Adam Well, your wife's unstable emotionally. She needs medication.

53:38 Eddie Kaye Thomas She's fine.

53:39 Drew But the point is, it doesn't sit well with some women.

53:44 Adam Well, it's true. That plan was the most ill-conceived plan you've ever come up with. Your wife.

53:52 Drew It was rational. I'm tired of the fantasies that you have. This is the reality. I'm going to take you and show you this stupid thing.

53:59 Adam It was rational for you, but your wife does not respond to rational thoughts.

54:03 Drew No, it actually, though, put an end to all that kind of whining. She didn't like it. She was like going there. It was upsetting to her.

54:09 Adam Well, did you get a lap dance?

54:10 Drew No.

54:11 Adam She just saw lap dances?

54:12 Drew I guess, yeah.

54:14 Caller Well, I guess my question is more or less...

54:17 Drew And by the way, I think that was before the day of the lap dance. No, seriously.

54:22 Adam My grandfather used to tell me about lap dances back in the old days.

54:26 Drew I've never even witnessed that.

54:29 Adam Stop covering yourself. You know, your wife's listening now.

54:32 Eddie Kaye Thomas I don't understand why this caller thinks that she minds him looking at porn, but she won't mind a strip club.

54:39 Caller Well, I don't mind it so much. It bothers me. I've been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, and I have panic attacks every once in a while. But it's not due to any insecurities sexually. They're mostly, you know, it's, I have certain things that set off my panic attacks.

54:54 Drew Is your husband an alcoholic?

54:56 Caller Oh, no, he's never done an illegal substance in his life.

54:59 Caller Alcohol, though?

55:00 Caller Oh, he drinks every once in a while, but no, no, no alcohol at all.

55:03 Karen?

55:05 Adam Yes? There are plenty of women who enjoy this and who like to go with a mate, and that's fine. But I wonder about your motives, and I think you may have a worse reaction than Drew's wife when you show up at this place with your guy.

55:21 Caller I think my motive is to try and maybe spice things up a little bit between...

55:25 Drew Why do you have to spice things up? You haven't said anything's wrong.

55:28 Caller Well, we have... We have two children, one five, one... I have a seven-month-old baby, and we get very little time to actually make love, and when we do, you know, I don't want it to be the same old mundane thing every single time.

55:41 Drew Yeah, well, why don't you tell him that? Why don't you work on figuring out ways to sort of improve that?

55:47 Adam Bust out a vibrator or something.

55:48 Drew Or whatever. Whatever it is that you guys want to sort of...

55:50 Caller Well, we've done that. We've done... And I've done the whole thing where I kind of dressed up in the dominatrix thing, and, you know, he probably dug that.

55:58 Drew Uh-oh.

55:59 Caller What's that?

56:00 Drew Yeah, Karen, you're going down a path that leads us to believe that there's more going on here than you suspect.

56:05 Caller I totally want to make... I want to get into something that I can be comfortable with, but also not feel like I'm too compromised as far as...

56:15 Eddie Kaye Thomas Yeah, so...

56:16 Caller I put it too compromised about how I feel about what I've done.

56:19 Eddie Kaye Thomas I think it takes a special type of girl to be comfortable with their mate in a strip club. It's a big leap.

56:25 Drew Yeah, yeah. We're missing the thing here.

56:28 Adam I know, I know.

56:29 Drew There's something up here with Karen.

56:31 Adam Karen, here's what I'm going to say because we got to move on. Okay. Whatever you need to fix in your relationship is not going to be... It's not in the strip club. You're not going to find the fix there.

56:42 Drew No, nor in a leather outfit, nor in a schoolgirl outfit.

56:45 Adam Right.

56:46 Drew That's not the problem.

56:47 Adam Now, a nun outfit, that's something else.

56:50 Drew There's something going on in the intimacy and you're missing it.

56:54 Adam Right.

56:55 Drew And it may just be time together. Two kids, it may just be time together.

56:59 Adam Right, right. Peter?

57:01 Drew Yes.

57:02 Adam You're 22?

57:03 Drew Yes.

57:03 Adam What's up?

57:04 Yes, I have acne now. I want to know if masturbating makes it worse or better?

57:09 Drew No, it does neither. It has no effect on your acne.

57:12 Adam Are you a virgin, Peter?

57:13 Yes.

57:14 Adam Shocked. I always know the sound of a virgin. You know what I am with this show? You know how a bird watchers, they go, yes, that's the yellow breasted swallow. They just hear it in the distance and know what it is. I'm that way with the virgin. That's a North American virgin. Hi, I'm 22 and I got a sister. I mean, feverishly, yeah.

57:37 Drew All right, but listen, if you have acne, Peter, it needs to be treated. There's lots of good treatment available for acne. Please take advantage of that. You don't have to sit around with bad acne. It's ridiculous.

57:46 Eddie Kaye Thomas So many people believe these schoolyard tales.

57:48 Drew I know. It's insane. I know, there is curative treatment for acne in the year 2001.

57:54 Adam Here's the deal, as I come back to this, they're going to put this on my tombstone, but everything's pretty much hereditary.

58:01 Drew Yeah, oh, sure.

58:02 Adam Your teeth, your skin, your shoulder width, your ass size, whether your hair stays or goes, the color of your eyes, it's all just, it's all planned out before you come out of mama. And if you got bad skin, it's not from eating cheeseburgers, it's not from whacking off. It's because your parents cursed you. You understand, Peter?

58:22 Drew It's because God hates you, is that it?

58:23 Adam Kick your dad in the nuts next time you see an old zit freak. So, get on some Accutane and do whatever you got to do, but there's medications out there, so take care of yourself, all right?

58:33 Drew There's multiple different topical creams, there's antibiotics, there's Accutane, there's all kinds of things we can do now.

58:39 Adam All right. Okay.

58:40 Drew See you at the dermatologist.

58:41 Adam Take care. And it's true, I think people are utilizing these because you don't see the pizza face dude like you used to.

58:47 Drew Like you used to, that's right.

58:49 Adam Remember you'd do that every once in a while? You'd pull up into some mini-market and the guy behind the counter would be like, oh.

58:55 Eddie Kaye Thomas Are the medications getting better? Because I've encountered proactive small plug. That cleared me.

59:01 Drew Oh, the proactive thing. Yeah, that's a good little.

59:03 Eddie Kaye Thomas I've had this one pimple on my forehead for about eight months.

59:06 Drew Yeah, that's a whole system, right? That whole proactive system.

59:08 Eddie Kaye Thomas It's kind of gay. You kind of have to do steps every night.

59:12 Drew I was working with a dermatologist who swore by it and she felt it was worthwhile.

59:16 Eddie Kaye Thomas They give it to us on the movie sets when we show up with lots of pimples. It's a little awkward having all those fluids in your mouth.

59:24 Drew I was on an Accutane for a while.

59:25 Adam Is it a pill or is it?

59:26 Drew No, no, no.

59:27 Eddie Kaye Thomas It's like you start out with the loofah scrub and then you throw on your toner and then you got your cream.

59:33 Drew You're gay.

59:34 Adam Right, right. You have to exfoliate, I understand.

59:37 Eddie Kaye Thomas I'm an actor. I'm taking care of the actor. Actor. Actor. Actor, excuse me, and it's an investment.

59:43 Adam See, that's my problem is I go to bed and I wake up and I still got some peanut butter on my face from the night before. Night before. The week before. I can't even wash my goddamn face before I go to bed. I'm so messy.

59:55 Drew How many times a week do you shower?

59:57 Adam How? Two days, three days.

59:59 Drew Two times a week.

1:00:00 Adam No, three times. It depends what I'm doing. If I'm going in the pool, that's a shower. Swimming around a big cup of chlorine, that's a shower right there. So I don't count that. But if I'm working out, I'll take the shower when I'm done. But I don't really use soap. I just give a quick rinse and I'm back on my feet again.

1:00:19 Drew Any of that.

1:00:19 Adam Thank you.

1:00:20 Drew Yeah, I was on Accutane for a while. It's good stuff.

1:00:22 Adam Amber?

1:00:23 Yeah.

1:00:23 Adam You're 19?

1:00:24 Caller Yeah.

1:00:25 Adam What's up?

1:00:26 Caller Well, I have interstitial cystitis, which is a bladder disease. And I don't really know anything about it. But my urologist told me it affects women in their 40s and 50s.

1:00:35 Drew Yeah, it's usual.

1:00:36 Caller There's no explanation for why I have it.

1:00:38 Drew Yeah, Amber, it's sort of a garbage bag diagnosis. It's like women that have discomfort in urinary frequency and we can't figure out why.

1:00:46 Caller Why? They were trying to get me to do DMSO.

1:00:50 Drew Yeah, that's the treatment.

1:00:51 Caller And I got really bad effects from it afterwards. I was in pain.

1:00:56 Drew Just one little pearl, if I might. I've dealt with several patients who struggle with this over and over again. And I said, how many hours a week do you spend? Or do you ride bikes? Oh, four times a week. When do you really lay off for a couple of weeks? Pow, gone.

1:01:11 Caller I don't ride bike.

1:01:12 Drew You don't ride bike or spanner or anything like that? Are you having sex regularly?

1:01:15 Caller It's affected my sex life to the point where I really don't have sex anymore because it's too painful.

1:01:20 Drew Oh my goodness.

1:01:20 Caller And I'm on, that Elmiron had really bad side effects and it made me really depressed and out of control. So they took me off of it and that's the only thing to treat it. And so they had me on Detrol LA. And that doesn't really seem to work too much. And they want to dilate my bladder, but I was reading up on it and there's a 40% chance of making it worse and only a 20% chance of making it better.

1:01:42 Drew And once you get going with it, you have to keep doing it.

1:01:45 Caller Yeah, and the DMSO, like they want to do it once a week for the rest of my life. And after the pain I had from it, it terrifies me. And I don't know if this is what I have to look forward to for my entire life because I have like other things related to it. I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome that they say like are from it.

1:02:06 Adam Oh, are you a little bit cuckoo?

1:02:09 Caller No, I'm not.

1:02:10 Adam You sure? Because all that chronic fatigue and Epstein-Barr and fibromyalgia stuff.

1:02:15 Eddie Kaye Thomas How old is she again?

1:02:16 Adam Right. They used to call that no count syndrome.

1:02:20 Caller But I had bladder problems for a couple of years and then they stuck a camera in my urethra.

1:02:24 Drew Oh, Amber, were you sexually abused growing up or anything?

1:02:27 Caller I was molested for seven years by my cousin.

1:02:30 Drew I would suggest you go down that path because unexplained bladder and pelvic pain is sexual abuse and you got to check that. Get that treated.

1:02:40 Adam So you're saying that this is a phantom thing, possibly?

1:02:45 Drew Yeah.

1:02:47 Adam Is it the fibromyalgia thing that tipped it off?

1:02:50 Caller Yeah.

1:02:51 Drew Yeah.

1:02:51 Eddie Kaye Thomas She's just making these things happen, Anderson?

1:02:54 Drew No. I believe that literally the stimulation of something like sexual abuse hardwires in to your spinal column some abnormal kinds of sensations. And these women have pain. Don't make no mistake about it. It's not like they're making it up. They have discomfort. But it's neurologically based. It's neuropsychiatrically based. It needs to be dealt with that way.

1:03:15 Adam Right. So they're giving them creams and they're dilating things and they're doing all this and that's a bunch of mechanical stuff.

1:03:20 Eddie Kaye Thomas They just got to sit down and talk.

1:03:22 Drew No. It's more than that though because this is a hardwired phenomenon now. It's more medication that affect that than affects, as Adam's saying, the mechanics of bladder emptying.

1:03:34 Eddie Kaye Thomas That's right. It's very exciting.

1:03:36 Drew Good times.

1:03:37 Adam You know, it's funny. It's funny when Drew says, were you molested? They go, yeah, but that had nothing to do with this. Really? How do I know you're molested, then? All right. Nikki, who's 24. Nikki?

1:03:50 Caller Yeah.

1:03:50 Adam What's up?

1:03:51 Caller I just wanted to comment on that lady that called about going to the strip bar with her husband. That's something that me and my husband have done before, and we really enjoy it, going there together. In fact, I've wanted to call to see if that's normal on my part, because being a woman and wanting to see other women do that kind of stuff.

1:04:14 Adam Yes.

1:04:15 Caller My husband says, no, it's natural for a woman to be curious and want to, you know, explore that kind of thing.

1:04:22 Caller I just...

1:04:24 Drew Men are great, aren't they?

1:04:25 Adam Now, hand me that paper towel. Hold still.

1:04:27 Drew No, no, no, we got to keep going. It's fine. It's fine. It's great. It's very healthy. Let's keep going.

1:04:31 Adam Nikki? Let's go. It is fine.

1:04:33 Drew It is fine.

1:04:34 Adam It's fine for some people. I think most women have a curiosity in that department. Most women appreciate other women esthetically, and most women have sort of a blurry line when it comes to sexuality, meaning they're in a sexually charged environment. That's kind of interesting for them.

1:04:51 Caller It turns me on.

1:04:52 Adam That's fine. No problems at all. But a lot of women going with their husband, to me, is baiting a tramp that they don't even know they're setting.

1:05:03 Drew It's sabotage.

1:05:04 Adam People sabotage themselves in relationships. Guys do it with this, this way. So, how many guys have you been with before me? And was mine the biggest? No? Oh, it's not? No, you can be honest. No, it's cool. Right. And they start feeding you stuff, and you get more and more angry, and then you hold it against them, and you use it against them. And it's like you need to fuel yourself up for a fight. It's like what prize fighters do. They get angry at the guy before they get in the ring with him. It helps them execute their job, essentially. And you're looking for something, and you're feeding it. But, Nikki, if you enjoy this, and you're cool with your husband, and he enjoys it, then that's fine.

1:05:46 Caller Well, the thing is, as you know how you're talking about, the penisizer who had maybe been with and that, we've been through all that. We've been married for almost five years, and we had to find stuff to fight about. But we're over that now. We've found something that we actually connect with, be it this or a few other things that we found that we enjoy together.

1:06:04 Adam You have kids?

1:06:06 Caller Yeah.

1:06:06 Adam Now, I haven't been to one in about, oh, it's been almost ten days.

1:06:10 Drew Oh, shocking.

1:06:11 Adam Do they have daycare at those places now, or do you have to hire a sitter?

1:06:15 Caller We hire a sitter. I don't think they have daycare.

1:06:17 Adam I see.

1:06:19 Drew Do you have strip clubs in Utah?

1:06:20 Adam I would, yeah, the women are wearing coveralls and they serve non-alcoholic beer and Mr. Pib, but it's technically called a strip club. They wear bib overalls in a barrel, the chastity belt.

1:06:33 Drew Good times.

1:06:34 Adam And yeah, they serve on Mr. Pib and Fresca. All the lights are on. And the place is open from 10 a.m. till noon. And they play striper. It's a more Christian-oriented run.

1:06:45 Eddie Kaye Thomas But you had a great time, didn't you?

1:06:47 Adam Time of my life. I like the ones, I like the strip clubs that have the boutique in there by the front door. That's great.

1:06:57 Drew What is that?

1:06:58 Adam A little boutique.

1:06:58 Drew Do they sell goods, sell t-shirts?

1:07:00 Adam No, you could buy your lady a, you know, $70 thong or some of those big wedgie stripper shoes or something. I like that at the gift center. I went, I had something that's happened to me. I don't know why I just popped my hand, but it happened to me today. I went, I went to a liquor store to get some money, like, you know, the cash register ATM? Yeah. I do it at the supermarket every once in a while, and it's always the same thing. There's no machine, so you can't punch anything up. There's a guy behind the counter, and he'll, you know, he'll give you some money.

1:07:35 Eddie Kaye Thomas And you're giving up your PIN number.

1:07:36 Adam Right. Well, no, you get to do your PIN number on your own thing, a little secret thing, but it's always funny. It always goes like this, how much money do you want? How much can I get? Well, what do you want? 400. Sorry, no. 300. No. Okay, let's change the rules. Why don't you tell me the most I can get, and then 150. 150 it is. I'll take it. And that's what he gave me. But I just like that little dance you do. I do it at the market every time. You want money back? Yeah. How much do you need? 500. No.

1:08:14 Oh, boy.

1:08:17 Adam Andrew? Hello. Hey, you're 23. What's up?

1:08:20 Caller Yes, sir. I have a question about male grooming. This is kind of for Adam. Everybody knows that women like wax their pubic area and everything. But as a guy, I've never really heard what to do for myself. I've shaved before, and now I've got this bush that could be made into some topiary or something. I'm in a new relationship, and I don't want to look like some scrungy mutt man.

1:08:42 Adam By the way, hold on. For younger stone listeners, topiary is the act of taking a shrub or plant and forming it into the shape of something like that.

1:08:50 Drew An unnatural shape.

1:08:51 Adam Out front of Disneyland. They have like a Dumbo made out of a furrow.

1:08:54 Drew It's a small world.

1:08:55 Adam Right.

1:08:56 Eddie Kaye Thomas And this is somewhat popular amongst the male species?

1:08:58 Adam The topiary.

1:08:59 Drew The topiary pubes.

1:09:00 Adam I've made a second penis for myself out of pubic hair.

1:09:03 Eddie Kaye Thomas Now he referred this question straight to you, Adam. So, you have some experience with...

1:09:08 Adam Yeah, I do. Andrew?

1:09:10 Caller Yes, sir.

1:09:12 Adam First off, I don't think it comes back thicker when you shave it off. I believe that's a wives' tale. So now, here's why it appears to come back thicker. Because for three months, you had no hair on your junk.

1:09:23 Drew I don't think he's saying that though. He's just saying he wants to...

1:09:25 Adam No, he did.

1:09:26 Drew No, he's saying now he has a bush and he wants to know how to grow it.

1:09:28 Adam Weren't you... Didn't you infer that it came back thicker, Andrew?

1:09:32 Caller I'm just inferring that there's a lot there.

1:09:35 Adam Right, but you had shaved it before.

1:09:38 Caller No, I didn't notice that. It just itched a lot and I didn't really like that method of grooming.

1:09:43 Drew Tell him what to do. He's all over the place.

1:09:45 Adam Did you shave it or not?

1:09:46 Caller Yes, I have shaven it.

1:09:48 Adam Yes, and now it came back and it's like a topiary. You could make a topiary.

1:09:52 We've got bush.

1:09:53 Adam All right. You need to just trim it and not shave it. Treat it like James Brolin's old beard. I don't know what the reference of a nice groomed beard is. But look, you don't want to look like Dan Haggerty. You want to look like James Brolin.

1:10:09 Caller Right. There you go.

1:10:11 Eddie Kaye Thomas Just trim it and keep it short. What would a girl like would she say, oh, a nice heart shape. Was that going to be attractive to someone? No.

1:10:18 Drew I mean, I think that's what he's asking.

1:10:20 Adam Here's the key.

1:10:21 Eddie Kaye Thomas We're men.

1:10:22 Adam Here, yes. Let me give you the key for pubes with men, which is you want it to be groomed but not look like it was intentionally groomed.

1:10:31 Eddie Kaye Thomas I think grooming is ridiculous no matter what. You got what you got. Women groom, men live, we're nasty. Come on.

1:10:39 Adam But what I agree, it can make your penis look bigger.

1:10:44 Eddie Kaye Thomas There you go.

1:10:45 Drew He likes lowering the grass level.

1:10:48 Adam To me, I liken it to trimming the grass around the mailbox stand. You lower that, the mailbox looks taller.

1:10:56 Eddie Kaye Thomas Drawing focus too.

1:10:57 Adam Right, right. Makes the four by four post it's on appear to be six inches long.

1:11:02 Eddie Kaye Thomas It's very well thought out.

1:11:03 Adam Thank you. Look, just get some scissors and groom it. Don't shave it, you idiot.

1:11:07 Drew There we go.

1:11:08 Adam All right. Drew, what do you got to do, pee?

1:11:10 Drew I have to pee.

1:11:11 Adam No kidding. I can always tell when Drew has to pee because he wants to wrap it up at the five minute mark. Eddie Kaye Thomas is here from American Pie 2, out this Friday. We'll take a little break. We'll be back.

1:11:28 What's up, this is Aaron from Stained, and you're listening to Love Line with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:11:35 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eddie Kaye Thomas is our guest tonight from American Pie 2. You know him as Finch from American Pie 1, and you know him as Finch from American Pie 2, or you will this weekend when you go out and see the movie. All right, let's see if we can get through some calls here. Speak to Myra, who's 20. Myra?

1:11:56 Caller Yes.

1:11:56 Adam What's up?

1:11:57 Caller Hi. Well, I got these sort of like hides, like stuff all over my body, and I've gone to the hospital, and they just gave me a shot. I don't know what it's called or anything like that, but they also gave me like prednisone and stuff like that. But when I'm wondering that if I'm getting them because I get nervous when I'm with my boyfriend or when I went to like 4.0 and he like fingers me.

1:12:24 Drew Is that when you get the rash?

1:12:26 Caller Yeah, that's what I've been noticing.

1:12:27 Adam Sure is. Hives is, hives are raised?

1:12:30 Drew Yeah, called wheel and flare. It's like a little raised bump with a flare on it.

1:12:34 Adam How big are they?

1:12:35 They grow.

1:12:36 Drew Yeah, they look different. They can be a little, they can be, I'd say average around, what's that, four centimeters?

1:12:41 Adam Half a dollar?

1:12:42 Drew Yeah.

1:12:43 They grow.

1:12:43 Caller They start out real small, and then they grow. When I went to the hospital, they even asked me if they could take pictures of them.

1:12:48 Drew Oh, they're big ones, huh? Well, listen, it's called, the formal name for that is urticaria.

1:12:53 Adam It's always bad, by the way, when you go to a hospital and want to take shots, and whoa, wait, Phil, get in here! Bring the Instamatic! I've never seen, 22 years of practice, I've never seen this before. Hold still, honey.

1:13:05 Caller But it's like, I asked them if it was because I get nervous or if I get stressed, and they said no. But I've been noticing that, I mean, sometimes, like, they go away when I take medication and stuff like that.

1:13:16 Drew What medication?

1:13:17 Caller They gave me Prednisone.

1:13:18 Drew Yeah, well, they see, they're giving you, they're treating you for allergy, basically, an inflammatory reaction, which is part of this urticaria. But yeah, there are all sorts of ways to precipitate it, and some people, I suppose, anxiety.

1:13:31 Caller I've been noticing that it's like, when I'm meant to forplay with my boyfriend, or when he, like, fingers me, like, immediately the next day, I'm, like, full of hives and stuff like that all over my body.

1:13:41 Drew The next day. I would think if it were something related to motion, you'd get it immediately.

1:13:47 Adam Yeah, if you were freaking out, the hives would hit you while his fingers were still in you. So if it's the next day...

1:13:56 Caller Yeah, like, the next day when I wake up.

1:13:58 Adam Could you be allergic to him?

1:14:00 Could I be?

1:14:01 Adam And by the way, hey, Drew, is hives a sort of generic term, or is it specific to one thing?

1:14:07 Drew It means urticaria, but there's all kinds of urticaria. Urticaria is a nonspecific allergic reaction to various things. Even sometimes cold can cause urticaria in some people.

1:14:20 Adam So what should Myra do? Well, I mean, listen, Drew, let me be honest and listen kids, I know you look at Drew as some sort of a super genius icon. Really, he's a mediocre doctor who got lucked into a radio gig. So if your doctor is telling you what to do and putting you on something, chances are they know what they're doing.

1:14:39 Drew Well, the problem here is that she's going to the emergency rooms and getting treatments. She needs to go see someone, probably an allergist or a dermatologist.

1:14:46 Caller I did and then they gave me Allegra and other stuff.

1:14:49 Drew Well, there you go. So they're blocking the allergies with these antihistamines.

1:14:52 Caller Yeah, but I mean, they come back every time I'm with my boyfriend. And I don't want to keep on going to those people. I mean, what else can I do?

1:15:02 Adam What's he do for a living? What's he got on his hands? Does he work at a turkey farm or something?

1:15:08 Caller No, he works in the cars.

1:15:11 Adam Bondo. Yeah, you get like a compote of Bondo 30-weight oil and lithium grease up there. Is this guy scrubbing his cuticles?

1:15:23 Caller I don't know.

1:15:24 Drew All right, go back to the allergist to see if you can figure out what's triggering this. Keep taking your Allegra twice a day, or the long-acting one once a day.

1:15:32 Adam Dylan?

1:15:33 Yeah?

1:15:33 Adam You're 15? What's up?

1:15:36 Caller Well, I have nipple rocks, and I've had them for like two years.

1:15:42 Adam That was the name of a high school band I was in, by the way.

1:15:45 Drew Are those things you drop in water and these long sort of stalagmites come out of them?

1:15:49 Adam No. No, nipple rocks. Yeah, those are the lumps under your nipples that hit during puberty.

1:15:55 Caller Yeah.

1:15:56 Drew Yeah, that's normal.

1:15:57 Adam That's it.

1:15:57 Caller Is it normal?

1:15:58 Drew You get worse if you smoke a lot of pot.

1:16:00 Adam Hey, Anderson, I know it's a wild request, but do you turn the lights on? Thank you. Hi, America. There you go.

1:16:07 Drew All right.

1:16:07 Adam So that's puberty, Dylan.

1:16:08 Drew No, it wasn't. I turned it on.

1:16:10 Adam You're fine.

1:16:11 Caller Am I?

1:16:12 Adam Yeah.

1:16:12 Caller All right.

1:16:13 Eddie Kaye Thomas What is nipple rocks? What are we talking about here?

1:16:15 Drew When you hit puberty, males will produce a certain amount of estrogen to which their nipples will respond. They'll get these little lumps behind the nipple or in the air.

1:16:23 Eddie Kaye Thomas I thought he just had hard nipples.

1:16:25 Adam Well, they are now, but that's just because there's a giant tumor underneath them. What are they? What would that technically be called that's underneath it?

1:16:33 Drew Glangular tissue.

1:16:34 Adam All right. Good times. Amy?

1:16:37 Yeah?

1:16:38 Adam You're 14?

1:16:39 Caller Yeah.

1:16:39 Adam What's up, Perky?

1:16:40 Caller Okay. Well, I'm going out with this guy and he like smokes pop and not like constantly or anything. But like if I'm at a party or something, I'll make out with him and stuff like right afterwards. And I'm also on Accutane. And they sometimes give you drug tests. Would I show up positive?

1:16:58 Drew They give you drug tests?

1:17:00 Caller Well, sometimes because my parents are also kind of crazy.

1:17:03 Drew So they have your dermatologist giving you drug tests?

1:17:05 Caller Well, I mean, he like takes all kinds of blood tests because of my liver.

1:17:09 Drew Yeah. I take your liver and your cholesterol, but he's not going to be taking a blood, a toxicology screen.

1:17:14 Caller I didn't know about that at all. My parents sometimes are like, oh, you better not be smoking because we can give you a drug test any day.

1:17:21 Drew See, I know I've had many, many marijuana addicts use that one that, oh, there's somebody who's smoking pot next to me. That's why it's in my urine. No, no, not unless you're- No, if they let a bonfire in your car and rolled up the windows, that would do it.

1:17:40 Adam True story, when I was doing some drug testing for a while, it was a military experiment I can't get into, but I had a chick do a bong load and then she blew me, but she actually blew me.

1:17:53 Drew Oh, like blew air in? Yeah.

1:17:55 Adam She blew some smoke up into my bladder. Then when I urine tested the following morning, actually a cloud of smoke came out, it did mix in with the urine and it was positive. So it can happen technically. Well, these are wonderful stories.

1:18:09 Eddie Kaye Thomas Yeah, what a girl.

1:18:12 Adam Well, it was a dude, but that's the only part of the story I changed.

1:18:16 Eddie Kaye Thomas It was a military thing.

1:18:17 Adam Right. All right, Amy, you'll be fine.

1:18:19 Caller Okay. Thank you.

1:18:20 Adam All right. Good times.

1:18:21 Drew Unless you're doing drugs, that will show up.

1:18:24 Adam I like your parents though. They keep you on your toes. Well, it's working, right?

1:18:30 Caller Okay. Yeah.

1:18:31 Adam You know what I love about teenagers, especially young girls, it's like parents are clamping down on me. They're freaking out about the drug use. I can't take drugs because there may be some random drug tests. I'll tell you what, I'll just date a dude who smokes weed chronically. That's the next best thing. See, it's like, listen, you're going to pay one way or the other. If you're going to clamp down on me for doing weed, I won't smoke the weed. I'll just give oral sex to a dude who's a high. David, you're 32?

1:19:05 Caller Yup. What's up? Well, I met this girl at my sister's wedding a couple of weeks ago, and she told me that she was married, but she was very unhappy in her marriage. So I stayed and we talked, and we've actually been seeing each other now. And my question is, do you guys think that I should keep dating her or, you know, sleeping with her and whatever, or wait until she...

1:19:32 Drew That's already started, huh?

1:19:33 Caller What's that?

1:19:34 Drew That's already started, the sleeping together?

1:19:36 Caller Oh yeah, that's already gone.

1:19:37 Adam How old is she?

1:19:38 Caller She's 28.

1:19:39 Drew She have kids?

1:19:41 Adam No. What do you mean who?

1:19:43 Drew I mean good.

1:19:43 Adam You mean good, yeah. You know, here's the thing about someone telling you they have a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a husband or a wife. It can mean one of two things. It can be very bad or very good. Because if someone says, you know, you're hanging out, you're talking to some chick at a party and she just weaves in her husband or weaves in her boyfriend like you go, hey, you ever go motorcycle riding? I got a Harley and she goes, yeah, my husband has one. Bad. But if she starts going, yeah, I've been married for six years. I don't know why I did it.

1:20:16 Drew It's awful.

1:20:17 Adam He doesn't pay attention to me. I mean, the love has been gone for years now. That means you're getting late.

1:20:24 Drew No.

1:20:24 Caller Yeah.

1:20:25 Adam That's game on.

1:20:25 Drew I think you need to hear something a little stronger than that.

1:20:27 Caller No. The first thing she said to me was how unhappy that they were.

1:20:30 Drew Yeah. I'm miserable is what you got to hear. It's like-

1:20:33 Adam Oh, shut up. I was leading to that.

1:20:35 Drew But the love is out of the relationship is you're going to Friendville.

1:20:38 Adam No.

1:20:38 Drew You're going to be there so I can go.

1:20:39 Eddie Kaye Thomas You're going to find those girls that are fishing though.

1:20:41 Adam That's where it starts. It starts with he doesn't pay attention and it starts getting into I'd like to get out of this thing.

1:20:49 Drew Well, then you're in.

1:20:50 Adam But I'm going to break the guy's heart or I got a kid or whatever.

1:20:52 Drew Now, a male saying that don't believe it.

1:20:55 Adam No. And by the way, male shouldn't bother with that because it doesn't get them any closer really. They just start feeling sorry for the chick. All right. So David.

1:21:04 Caller Yeah.

1:21:04 Adam Twenty-eight, no kids.

1:21:06 Caller Right.

1:21:06 Adam How long has she been married?

1:21:07 Caller Well, they were going out for like four months but they've only been married for four years and they've been married ten months.

1:21:13 Adam Ten months and she's on it already. Yeah.

1:21:16 Caller Well, she told me like he totally ignores her and never like, never, you know, just like they doesn't even like her. He goes on vacations with his buddies and leaves her at home.

1:21:26 Adam Are you in love with her?

1:21:28 Caller No, I wouldn't say that. I mean, she's hot but it's like, I don't know.

1:21:33 Adam Well, listen, if you're not, here's what I have to say. If you think she's the one and this is a really serious deal, and you have real strong feelings for her and she's thinking about, she doesn't have any kids and she's thinking about breaking it off, and it was just a mistake, then hang out.

1:21:52 Caller Right.

1:21:53 Adam But if you just, well, she's hot piece of ass but nothing long-term, why don't you just back out before this guy shows up and puts like a ski pole through you while you're sleeping.

1:22:02 Caller Well, she's going to break up with him anyway, so I might as well be there. I mean.

1:22:05 Drew Oh boy, he wants the well.

1:22:07 Caller He wants to be on it because he just wants to fix.

1:22:09 Adam You're just one of these horrible guys, really, who can't push away poon.

1:22:13 Caller I try to be like you, Adam.

1:22:15 Adam How dare you?

1:22:17 Drew Oh, it smokes a little pot, too.

1:22:18 Adam It smokes weed?

1:22:20 Caller Who me?

1:22:20 Adam Yeah.

1:22:21 Caller Is that a weed smoker?

1:22:22 Drew Oh, yes, it was, dude.

1:22:23 Caller God, I got to work on that.

1:22:24 Eddie Kaye Thomas What gave it away?

1:22:25 Drew What did it just do? His laugh. There's a characteristic laugh you get when it smokes a lot of weed.

1:22:30 Adam That's the pot. That's the potlite. Yeah. If you start doing heroin, it'll knock it down a little bit. There it is.

1:22:38 That's kind of it there.

1:22:39 Adam Yeah, potlite.

1:22:40 Caller I don't smoke anymore, though. I'm just stuck with the laugh still.

1:22:42 Adam Okay.

1:22:43 Drew How many days have you been off pot?

1:22:45 Caller Well, I don't, we'll say I don't smoke as heavy as I do.

1:22:47 Caller Oh, okay.

1:22:50 Adam Well, you're over two. David, listen, if you're not really into her, this couldn't get messy. It really can.

1:22:58 Caller It can?

1:22:59 Adam Yeah, I mean, you want to know, this is probably the number one way of homicide in this country, if you think about it.

1:23:04 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:23:05 Adam I mean, look, if you're some white dude and you're living in a safe neighborhood and you're driving a car with an airbag, your number one way of dying is probably this way. Think about it.

1:23:18 Drew As a young male?

1:23:19 Adam As a man in his early 30s.

1:23:21 Drew Another skee-pole death.

1:23:23 Adam Yeah. I really mean it. Or, you know, she could just be... Now, also, she's a little suspect, too. I mean, everything's cool now.

1:23:33 Drew Chaos woman.

1:23:33 Adam But this is a chick who got married 10 months ago and is boffing some dude she just met.

1:23:38 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:23:38 Adam So if you think you're going to hang out and have a nice smooth ride with her, you may be sadly mistaken. All right. Ready to take a little break here?

1:23:46 Drew Yeah.

1:23:47 Adam Eddie Thomas is here from American Pie 2. Take a little break. We'll be back. Hey, everybody. Loveline, and you're listening to us on 97.1, The Eagle. We just did some liners, sir.

1:24:15 Caller I don't know what you call them.

1:24:16 Adam Eddie Kaye Thomas is our guest tonight. He's from American Pie 1 and American Pie 2. There you go, which is coming out this Friday. And Eddie told me not to mention it over the air, but he says it's much better than the first one.

1:24:32 Caller Really?

1:24:33 Adam Fascinating. I should not say anything.

1:24:34 Eddie Kaye Thomas We got problems.

1:24:35 Adam But he meant it. What the hell?

1:24:39 Caller Yeah?

1:24:40 Drew Hey.

1:24:41 Caller Hi.

1:24:41 Adam You're 14. What's up?

1:24:43 Caller I've been on Zoloft for like three months.

1:24:46 Caller And for the last couple of weeks, I've been like really tired and really horny.

1:24:51 Adam Hmm.

1:24:51 Drew Anything else change?

1:24:53 Adam Well, we could start a super race of tired, horny people. Yeah. If we could die.

1:24:58 Drew Do you nap a lot?

1:25:00 Caller Well, no. I sleep like 11 hours a night.

1:25:02 Drew Oh boy.

1:25:03 Caller But I've been doing that since like the beginning of summer.

1:25:05 Drew Will you put on birth control pill or anything like that?

1:25:08 Caller No.

1:25:08 Drew So nothing else except the Zoloft?

1:25:10 Caller Yeah. I'm on Zoloft and yeah, that's all.

1:25:12 Eddie Kaye Thomas She doesn't sound so tired and horny.

1:25:14 Drew Zoloft and that's all.

1:25:17 Adam It's a funny way of answering that.

1:25:19 Drew Yeah. Zoloft and that's all. Yeah.

1:25:21 Adam Is that's all the name of a new drug that we're not aware of?

1:25:26 Drew Something like that. Zoloft usually makes you not horny. It usually causes decreased libido, difficulty with the... the ejaculation, with climaxing, that sort of thing. And or if it makes you hypersexual, it can be associated with mania.

1:25:42 Adam Are you...

1:25:42 Drew Bipolar and it sort of precipitates a manic episode, but then that wouldn't make you sleep all the time. You'd be awake all the time.

1:25:47 Caller Right.

1:25:48 Drew So this is sort of unusual reaction to that medication.

1:25:52 Adam Are you masturbating?

1:25:54 Caller Not much.

1:25:54 Caller I have a boyfriend, so...

1:25:56 Adam Oh, what's going on with him?

1:25:58 Caller Um, well, he's getting laid a lot.

1:26:01 Adam Oh, boy. How old is he?

1:26:05 Caller Fifteen.

1:26:06 Adam Fifteen? Yeah. Son of a bitch. He's getting laid a lot at fifteen.

1:26:10 Drew Oh, my God.

1:26:11 Eddie Kaye Thomas That's good on you.

1:26:15 Adam What are you using for birth control?

1:26:17 Caller Depo.

1:26:18 Drew Good. Well, now, has that shot maybe done this to you?

1:26:21 Caller Uh, no, I've been on that for a while.

1:26:23 Drew Because, by the way, that is another medication you're taking. Is there anything else you're taking? Anything?

1:26:28 Caller No.

1:26:30 Adam All right. Well, so I don't know what else you should do.

1:26:32 Drew It could be the depo. Although depo also usually decreases your sex drive, it can increase it.

1:26:38 Adam By the way, she's fourteen.

1:26:39 Drew I know.

1:26:40 Adam She's like, he's getting laid a lot. I'm on the depo. I have an increased libido, but I'm very lethargic.

1:26:47 Drew Fourteen.

1:26:47 Adam Fourteen. I just wrapped the Bentley around a telephone pole. That's going to be 18 grand just for the grill. Jesus Christ. Look, everybody, I know I sound like Pops Corolla here, but just slow it down a little bit. You 14-year-olds who are pharmacists and sex experts. Just slow it down. Slow it down. You're 14 for Christ's sake. What is that? The ninth grade? That's right. Oh, my God. I mean, imagine this chick when she's 17. She's going to be done. She'll be bored. Smoking a cigarette off of one of those extenders, and she'll look like Mrs. Howell. She'll be wearing like tiaras and gowns, big clamp-on earrings. All right. Colleen, you're 38.

1:27:35 Caller Yes.

1:27:36 Adam What's up?

1:27:37 Caller Well, I have interstitial cystitis as well, and I didn't like the advice that you gave that woman, girl, whatever she was.

1:27:43 Drew Yeah. She was not the usual 38-year-old female with interstitial cystitis. She was 17 or 18, something like that.

1:27:51 Caller I know, but it happens.

1:27:54 Drew It happens, but in her case, it was with a larger clinical syndrome of fibromyalgia and survival of sexual abuse traumas, and she'd been through multiple, multiple treatments that had been unsuccessful.

1:28:09 Caller Well, that's, it's a very difficult disease to manage.

1:28:13 Drew Right. Especially, but if it's, if it's there, if it has other diagnoses associated with it, oftentimes it's better to address those.

1:28:21 Caller Well, I have fibromyalgia as well, but there is a clinical diagnosis for interstitial cystitis.

1:28:28 Drew Of course, there is.

1:28:29 Caller And what it sounded like was she did not have a hydrodistention yet, but, you know, I just, I don't know, I just, it just hit me wrong, you know.

1:28:40 Adam Well, I hear something. I'm no doctor, but anybody who has anything, who hears Drew talk about something that they have, not to them, doesn't like the advice.

1:28:52 Drew Whatever it is.

1:28:53 Adam It's like, as an ex-carpenter, I can't watch that crappy tool time at the Home Improvement Tim Allen Show because I start yelling he's using the wrong hammer. He's supposed to be using a waffle-ended 22-ounce hammer to frame that deck. He's using a smooth-head 12-ounce finishing hammer. You see?

1:29:13 Caller Well, I understand that. And the problem that I had with it was...

1:29:17 Adam What would you say to her? Go ahead.

1:29:20 Caller Well, I would tell her to find a different urologist and have the correct testing done to find out if she has it. But not necessarily send her down the psychiatric route first.

1:29:31 Adam Well, she had been... She had had quite a bit of testing. What test do you want her to do?

1:29:35 Caller Well, she said that they wanted to distend her bladder.

1:29:38 Drew No, no, no. They wanted to dilate her urethra.

1:29:41 Caller Oh. Okay.

1:29:42 Drew So, Colleen, please. Please, just listen.

1:29:45 Adam All right, baby. Hey, Drew, don't come down on her. She's got a high school education. She's a little stoned right now. Her bladder's on fire. You're coming down on her? Hi, baby. We love you.

1:29:54 Caller Well, I've had this disease for 10 years. I know a lot about it. I've done my research about it.

1:30:00 Adam I understand. I'm with you.

1:30:03 Caller And, you know, I mean, I love the show and I love the advice you give, usually. But in this one, I just happen to know about it.

1:30:09 Adam All right. So, you want more testing?

1:30:12 Caller Well, you know.

1:30:13 Adam What about the fact that Drew guessed that she was molested?

1:30:17 Caller Well.

1:30:19 Adam How do you account for that?

1:30:21 Caller Well, you can ask probably 50 percent of the people that call in if they were molested.

1:30:25 Adam That's true.

1:30:26 Eddie Kaye Thomas They're pretty good at it, though. They usually hit it.

1:30:29 Caller Oh, I understand that.

1:30:30 Adam Were you molested?

1:30:32 Caller No, not being molested.

1:30:33 Adam I was asking Eddie.

1:30:34 Caller No.

1:30:35 Adam Okay. Thank you. Good times. Drew, where are we going next year? Come on, buddy. We get one more? The kids need our help. The kids need our help.

1:30:45 You want to try that?

1:30:45 Adam Yeah. Kevin?

1:30:47 Yep.

1:30:48 Adam You're 14.

1:30:49 Caller Yep.

1:30:51 Adam You need advice on picking up your first girlfriend at Catholic Church? Yep. There's a girl you like?

1:30:59 Caller Yeah. She's pretty cute and she sits on... She doesn't sit too far from me. She sits close to the other... On the other side of the aisle.

1:31:08 Drew And we told you about what versions sound like.

1:31:10 Eddie Kaye Thomas Oh, I know. Yeah. I'm pretty good at it.

1:31:13 Adam It sounded like Peter Brady in that episode where his voice is changing. Hey, Kevin.

1:31:17 Caller Yep.

1:31:18 Adam So if I'm facing the pew from the podium, she'd be a pew left or a pew right?

1:31:24 Caller Right.

1:31:24 Adam Pew right. Okay. Closer to the aisle?

1:31:27 Caller Uh-huh.

1:31:27 Adam And where do you sit?

1:31:29 Caller I usually sit on the left.

1:31:31 Adam You sit on the left?

1:31:32 Caller Yeah.

1:31:33 Adam Close to the aisle. Right, right. You gotta make your way closer to her, right?

1:31:37 Caller Yeah. That's what I'm trying to do. My mom usually has a sit on the left side, though.

1:31:43 Adam Right. Is this the guy who did the voice of Winnie the Pooh?

1:31:47 Drew Sterling Holloway?

1:31:48 Adam Sterling Holloway? No?

1:31:50 Drew This is Piglet.

1:31:52 Adam Is that Piglet?

1:31:52 Drew No, this is Piglet.

1:31:54 Adam Hey, Kevin? Yeah? Does she go to your school?

1:31:58 Caller No.

1:31:59 Adam No. So does she know you?

1:32:02 Caller No, I haven't gotten to talk to her yet. I'm thinking of getting involved in some kind of, like, church program to see if she can, like, call me. Yeah, it's another good plan.

1:32:09 Adam Do that. Do that. And keep working it. And when you talk to her, don't actually talk to her. Use a scratch pad.

1:32:17 Eddie Kaye Thomas Some people really are dying to call in to this show. They'll just find there's a girl at church.

1:32:24 Adam Kevin, go for it. Just go for it, you mother. Get the power of Satan in you and go up to her church.

1:32:30 Eddie Kaye Thomas Talk Jesus.

1:32:31 Hello, this is your radio. Loveline will be right back.

1:32:40 Adam Alright, well there you go. I'm going to thank Eddie Kaye Thomas for coming in here from America Pie 2.

1:32:45 Eddie Kaye Thomas Thank you. It's just a thank you. Just a courtesy thank you. That's all I wanted to say.

1:32:49 Drew Even though you had a visual experience, it's just a courtesy.

1:32:51 Adam He enjoyed himself.

1:32:52 Eddie Kaye Thomas Oh, this is what I live for.

1:32:54 Adam American Pie 2 out this Friday.

1:32:57 Eddie Kaye Thomas August 10th.

1:32:58 Adam Yep, Seth Green will be in here tomorrow night. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. To have him check ya, yeah. He's turning to Mr. Tudball.

1:33:11 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Dan Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, August 7, 2001