Episode 1000754886214

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Drew How is it that you, who are pristine, eat nothing but brown rice out of hand-throwing pottery jars and sleeping with 100% down comforters, how come you have difficulty getting out of bed? That's really what we need to look at.

1:29 Of course.

1:29 Yeah.

1:31 Drew Leo?

1:32 Yeah.

1:33 Drew You're 18? What's up?

1:36 Caller I'm going to go out with my girlfriend for about two years and we finally decided to have sex.

1:39 She's a virgin and when I put it in I couldn't break her hymen.

1:42 Adam What do you mean you couldn't break her hymen?

1:43 Drew Are you reading from Forum or something?

1:46 Yeah, I wrote it down so I wouldn't screw it up.

1:49 Caller Very good.

1:49 Drew Wow. That's good.

1:50 Adam That's all right.

1:51 Caller And you get pissed and people stutter.

1:52 Drew No, no.

1:53 Caller I like that.

1:54 Drew Leo, I take that as a supreme compliment.

1:57 I feel like I've been abducted by aliens.

2:00 Adam Leo, are you sure it's the hymen you're coming up against or maybe it's just spasm of her muscles down there?

2:06 She said it was a hymen so I trust her.

2:09 Adam Yeah. It is no way for her really to know.

2:11 Drew Was she in pain?

2:12 Yeah.

2:13 Adam What do you see? Do you have trouble getting your penis inside?

2:17 I stopped going in because she was screaming at me.

2:19 Adam So you're able to get in a little bit and then all of a sudden it starts hurting?

2:23 Yeah.

2:25 Drew Drew, wouldn't a woman be able to feel if she had a hymen on her own?

2:30 Adam Yeah.

2:31 Drew She would, right?

2:31 Adam I don't know what she's feeling. It's possible not.

2:33 Drew She could put her finger in there and feel something, couldn't she?

2:36 Adam Get the book.

2:37 Drew I don't know how to see where the hymen is. Couldn't she put her finger in there and find her own hymen?

2:42 Adam Yeah.

2:43 Drew Maybe that's the answer or maybe she should... What if she goes to the gynecologist, tells the gynecologist she's becoming active once again on some birth control and basically give her a 10-point checkup?

2:55 Adam That's an excellent idea and I suspect it's not going to be the hymen. I suspect it's going to be the spasm of the pelvic muscles.

3:03 Drew How old is she, Leo?

3:06 Adam She may not be ready.

3:07 Drew She could have a hymen at 16, couldn't she?

3:09 Adam Yes, of course, but they're having all this pain, it's impossible, it's overwhelming.

3:14 Drew Well, sometimes a hymen is a tough nut to crack.

3:16 Adam Yes, indeed.

3:17 Drew Hey, Leo? Yes. Send her over to Plain Parenthood. They'll put her up on the rack.

3:24 Adam Which is something she needs anyway if she's going to be sexually active and you need to sit down and talk to somebody about contraception.

3:29 Drew Right.

3:30 Adam There you go.

3:30 Drew You do all that stuff before you get going anyway. You make sure. Also, I think emotionally, if you think there's a hymen in there, Yeah, you're not going to put, you're not going to... It's going to kind of screw with you a little bit.

3:43 Adam Also, if the idea is to get in and get going, to try to relax the pelvic muscles, and you think you're pushing against a membrane that's causing her pain, you're going to back away from what you should be doing. And anybody that writes down his question for our program will go to Plain Parenthood.

3:57 Drew That's good, yes. We love Leo. Michelle, you're 47?

4:02 Caller Yes, I am.

4:03 Caller What's up?

4:05 Caller Well, I met this guy back in June, 27 years old. He takes care of my mom in a nursing home. And we got to be good friends flirting and all that. And I have a daughter that's 24.

4:18 Adam What the hell are you?

4:19 Caller I'm 47.

4:20 Adam 47.

4:21 Caller She's 27. And so, you know, in kind of having a crush on him, I talked about him quite a bit to her, and so finally she got around to come see my mom, and they met and ended up getting together a few times. And she had a serious boyfriend, so I kept, you know, trying to figure out exactly what the relationship was, because I knew he and I were really flirting. And she kept telling me that, you know, she wasn't going to start anything else until she got out of the other relationship.

4:49 Drew This is your daughter?

4:50 Caller Yes.

4:50 Drew Yep.

4:51 Caller 24. So, meantime, he and I… Pardon?

4:56 Adam Nothing. Go ahead.

4:57 Caller He and I started to get, you know, more and more flirtatious, and finally he came over to watch a movie, and you know, we ended up, you know, getting started, like making out, and he told me that my daughter would be really upset because she really liked him a lot. And so, that kind of threw me for a little bit, but at that point it was kind of hard to turn back. But anyway, I kind of backed off for a little bit, and he wrote her an e-mail and told her that he didn't want to see her, because, you know, he didn't explain it was because of me. But anyway, I ended up telling her that I was interested in him, and she blurted out that they had slept together four times. So it ended up being a big mess because...

5:44 Drew I don't understand why he sent her an e-mail saying he was interested in you.

5:48 Adam No, he e-mailed to break up.

5:50 Caller Yeah, because as soon as...

5:51 Drew No, no, no, no. He sent her an e-mail...

5:56 Adam To break up.

5:57 Caller Right...

5:57 Drew .saying he was interested in you.

5:59 Caller No, he didn't say that.

6:00 Adam She went to the daughter and said, I'm interested, and that's when the daughter blurted out about the...

6:04 Caller Right...

6:05 Adam .affairs.

6:05 Drew Oh. Yeah. But she said to you that... Sorry, he said to you that it wouldn't be a good idea to be...

6:13 Adam With me because I've been... your daughter really is into me.

6:16 Drew Exactly. And then sent the daughter an e-mail to break up.

6:20 Adam Right.

6:20 Caller Right. The next day he called. I mean, we didn't actually sleep together that night. We just made out. And then the next day we talked.

6:28 Adam Well, here's what this whole situation needs. A mom. This whole situation needs a parent. I believe this, Michelle, isn't it?

6:38 Drew She's interested in this guy. Why not?

6:41 Adam I understand that. But there's certain things you have to contain as the parent.

6:44 Caller Yeah. But see, that's why I kept trying to find out from her. You know, I kept asking, how are things with the boyfriend?

6:50 Adam Well, now you know. You know that she's engaged in a little bit of chaos. You know, this guy's an idiot.

6:55 Drew Well, why is this guy an idiot?

6:56 Adam He comes over and makes out with the mom of the girl he knows is really into him.

7:00 Caller He thought she was serious about her boyfriend.

7:03 Drew All right. So where is he at now?

7:06 Caller He and I have been together for two months, and you know, we're just kind of going on. I had a big scene. I also have a 19-year-old, and he and I are really close, so I had told him everything, and I thought he was on my side, but all of a sudden he went to my daughter and...

7:21 Adam Once again, the job of parent is not buddy. It's not friend. That is not the job.

7:27 Drew Who cares, though?

7:28 Adam They're old enough.

7:29 Drew They're out of the house. They're adults.

7:31 Adam Hey, you know what?

7:32 Drew She's 47. She got one foot in the grave, Drew, just like you do. She's got to get her kicks before the old ass house comes down.

7:39 Caller Yeah, and I'm coming off like an 18-year marriage here.

7:42 Drew Of course you are.

7:44 Adam This is always what happens, Michelle.

7:46 Drew Okay. But look, your daughter gets what she gets for basically two-timing her boyfriend as well.

7:52 Caller Well, that's kind of what I feel. It's just because I was asking her.

7:56 Drew That's great. You know what's funny, though? You know what's funny?

7:58 Adam She's not talking about her cheerleader friend from high school.

8:01 Drew I know. But look, why do you think A, her daughter, is the way she is? Two-timing her boyfriend, and B, hates mommy.

8:08 Adam Yes. And why the 19-year-old son is pissed off? He wants mom to be mom.

8:12 Drew Yeah.

8:13 Caller Yeah. But see, I've been mom for like 18 years. Now all of a sudden, I'm not.

8:17 Drew All right. Listen, get your kicks. Your kids hate you. That's for you to deal with. I don't know what you did. Is your daughter saying that she was in love with this guy?

8:30 Caller No. Now she's calling him a safety net. I mean, basically, she was trying to figure out whether to break up with the boyfriend over a year and he was just kind of there.

8:38 Drew All right. So why is she angry if she wasn't in love with this guy?

8:41 Caller Well, I'm just sleeping with him like after knowing him for a day.

8:45 Drew Why is she angry? Well, you taught her those values. Why is she?

8:49 Caller Maybe because of the mental image. She keeps picturing me with him and knowing that he was with her.

8:56 Adam Well, your husband must have been a real doozy also.

9:00 Caller Yeah, he didn't want to touch me much after about the first two months.

9:03 Drew Okay. Listen baby, have fun. Don't get pregnant anymore. See if you can find Jesus Christ. Make amends with your kids and this guy will be gone within four months anyway. Just enjoy yourself.

9:17 Adam In the meantime, she harmed her kids.

9:20 Drew Her kids were a mess way before this. This mama raised her. At least they're out of the house now. Hey, that crazy mama. I'll let her have a good time. She's going to hit menopause in like ten minutes. Chad?

9:37 Yeah, how's it going?

9:38 Drew Hey, you're 24. What's up?

9:40 Caller Good evening, gentlemen. I'd like to say, the last four years of my life, I've been dating this girl, living together, and I've been in the whole drug scene the whole time, and until she recently left me, your world kind of tumbles down on you. I'm just inquiring, what's your experience with quitting cold turkey, smoking marijuana, and versus therapy?

10:03 Drew How long have you been smoking?

10:06 Caller Five years.

10:07 Adam What do you mean versus therapy?

10:08 Caller Well, you know, I'm strong enough mentally to realize that depression is setting in when you realize your girlfriend has left you and drugs has caused it. Is it somewhere you can quit?

10:21 Drew You know, I've used marijuana to become normal.

10:25 Adam There's a very simple sort of set of elements in this equation. One is that there is a serious depression associated with trying to stop pot, and you need to be on top. Somebody needs to watch that. Number two, if you are a marijuana addict, you're an addict. And the very definition of addict means you can't stop. If you can stop, go ahead and stop.

10:46 Drew Alright.

10:47 Adam But addicts don't...

10:47 Drew Well, go ahead and stop.

10:49 Adam The time. Addicts don't stay stopped. You'll be back where you'll switch to something else, and that's when you need treatment.

10:55 Drew Well, you know, at age 24, that's pretty young for pot to decide to give it up. So we definitely applaud that. All right, so why not try to stop? Give yourself X amount of time, and if it doesn't work, then you got to go talk to somebody.

11:11 Adam Depression needs to be dealt with. Somebody needs to watch that, and whoever it is needs to have experience with monitoring addicts, and if the addiction, when the addiction resurfaces, they can refer you for treatment.

11:20 Drew Well, how about a little MA then?

11:22 Adam Yeah?

11:23 Caller Mental, what's MA.?

11:24 Adam Marijuana Anonymous.

11:26 Caller All right.

11:26 Drew Yeah?

11:27 Adam There are a ton of people right there every meeting with your story. I mean, it's just these are common stories.

11:33 Drew I'm guessing MA meetings have grown over the last five years.

11:38 Adam Yeah, it has some momentum behind it. But the most fascinating thing about MA is that everyone there has basically the same story. I mean, the marijuana addiction runs a very predictable path.

11:47 Drew Yeah, except for at 24, only being in for five years, it's early to be getting out.

11:55 Adam The durations are variable.

11:56 Drew I'd like to see them hang for another 10, 15 years with the weed, you know? You don't hear about it getting out quite so soon. But he had some consequences.

12:03 Adam I've had a guy, I've had one guy, I've killed patients actually one year, start to really lose it.

12:08 Drew Really?

12:08 Adam Yeah, it's so variable how long it takes that to really do its thing.

12:12 Drew Lightweight. Kristen?

12:15 Yeah?

12:15 Drew You're 19?

12:17 Caller Yes.

12:17 Drew What's going on?

12:20 Caller I have, like I have problems with my relationships with guys.

12:26 Adam We hear that sexual abuse when you're younger?

12:30 Caller I think so.

12:31 Adam How old were you?

12:33 Drew With that?

12:33 Adam How old were you?

12:36 Caller Um, I don't know. I'm younger than 10.

12:39 Adam Six, eight, something like that?

12:40 Caller Like I had emotional abuse, I know.

12:43 Adam Who was it you thought sexually abused you?

12:45 Caller I don't know.

12:46 Adam You just have a vague memory of it?

12:49 Caller No, I don't have any memories. Like I've been in therapy and they've asked me that before.

12:55 Adam It's been brought up.

12:56 Drew Okay. What are you doing now?

13:00 Caller Um, I was going to school and then I came home in the middle of the semester. So I'm trying to go back next semester. I'm working now.

13:09 Drew Well, what are you doing that's a problem?

13:12 Caller Oh, um...

13:13 Adam Oh, that. What I called about you, man.

13:16 Caller Oh. Sorry. Um, just that with my relationship with guys, like, I've had a lot of one night stands lately.

13:26 Drew How many?

13:28 Caller Like, for the past week.

13:33 Drew For the past week? Jesus Christ. What you women can do when you set your mind to it.

13:40 Adam No, no, no. When they just...

13:42 Drew Don't put their mind to it.

13:43 Adam They don't resist. Yeah, they just stop.

13:45 Drew Yeah, when you chicks hold still, it's amazing how much sex you're going to have. Four different guys, do you like any of them?

13:54 Caller Yeah.

13:55 Drew Which one? One and three?

13:58 Caller Something like that. I mean, I like to have a relationship, but it seems like they never call because...

14:06 Adam Have you been able to have a relationship or tolerate that ever?

14:09 Caller Yeah, I've had one long relationship.

14:14 Adam What happened to that one?

14:15 Caller What?

14:16 Adam What happened to that?

14:20 Caller That I actually was off and on on summer, and then I actually got pregnant a couple months ago and had an abortion, and that's kind of why I came home because I wasn't able to concentrate on school.

14:37 Adam Is that why you broke up with a boyfriend?

14:39 Caller No, we were kind of already broken up before it happened.

14:44 Drew We've asked enough questions.

14:45 Adam Chaos.

14:46 Drew So, Kristen, you say you've had some therapy?

14:50 Caller Yeah, I'm actually in therapy now.

14:52 Adam Alright, good.

14:52 Drew Well, stick with that.

14:53 Adam Talk to her about what you did this week.

14:56 Drew Don't have any sex for a little while.

14:58 Adam And don't get pregnant if you do. What are you using for contraception?

15:03 Caller I'm on the pill and I usually use condoms.

15:06 Adam Alright, good. Alright, talk to your therapist about what your behaviors have been. I think maybe you're getting depressed or there's something maybe going on here that you're acting out.

15:14 Caller Yeah.

15:14 Drew Alright.

15:15 Caller I feel for meaty with guys.

15:17 Drew Okay, but it doesn't make you feel any better. So don't do it.

15:21 Adam It's trying to fill that void. It's the emptiness you're reacting to. And therapy is a good way to deal with that.

15:26 Drew Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just say I remember being 19 and feeling like Kristen. I just wish I could have gone out and gotten laid.

15:37 Adam Then you wouldn't have felt like Kristen.

15:39 Drew I'd have felt better. Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't have felt like Kristen.

15:42 Adam That's the unique thing about the male. They all feel like that. No remedies.

15:46 Drew Chris?

15:47 Caller Yep.

15:47 Drew You're 16?

15:48 Caller Yeah, before I give you my question, I just want to stick up for a guy who called a couple days ago and said that he was jacking off on the weight before he got his call on.

15:57 Adam Oh, yeah.

15:57 Caller I've done that before. Not this time, but I had done it before.

16:00 Caller Okay.

16:01 Adam On this program?

16:02 Caller Yeah.

16:02 Drew Thank you.

16:03 Caller Yeah.

16:03 Drew It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside when I hear about our listeners beating off while they're on hold.

16:08 Caller You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

16:10 Drew No, that guy was on hold for like 99 minutes, though.

16:13 Caller Well, yeah, it was the time when I'd been on hold for like an hour.

16:16 Adam Well, again, the difference between men and women is that we have no female listeners to do this.

16:19 Caller No. All right.

16:21 Drew Go ahead, Chris.

16:22 Caller Pretty much. I'm on this drug for depression, Selexa, and I was wondering if that can... I can get hard, but I can't orgasm pretty much. I was just wondering if that could cause it.

16:35 Adam Oh, of course. You can't at all or is there a delay?

16:38 Caller If I really try hard enough, you know, it's not like it would normally be. All right.

16:42 Adam That's Selexa. In fact, Selexa is sometimes prescribed for premature ejaculation to give you exactly what you're experiencing.

16:48 Caller Oh, that's wonderful. Well, I was on Paxil before and it did the same thing and I went to the doctor with my mom and I couldn't say, oh, I'm sexually active and, you know, I need something that's not...

16:58 Drew Well, tell her you're beating off on Hold on Loveline and it didn't pop on Loveline.

17:03 Adam Here are the medicines that you can choose amongst.

17:04 Caller Okay.

17:05 Adam Ready?

17:06 Caller Yeah.

17:06 Adam Wellbutrin. Serizone.

17:10 Drew Okay.

17:11 Adam And Remeron. And Serizone is probably what you need to be on.

17:17 Drew All right. They had good times. Let's talk to Anthony who's 32. Anthony?

17:24 Caller Yeah.

17:24 Drew What's up?

17:27 Caller My girlfriend, she's 47 years old. Because of medical problems she's having, she needs to get a hysterectomy.

17:33 Caller And I was wondering, what do I expect after that?

17:37 Adam I'll expect her to take hormones and not have a uterus. What's your question?

17:41 Drew Does he need that uterus?

17:42 Adam No. He doesn't know the shape.

17:44 Drew He doesn't need it either?

17:45 No.

17:46 Drew Hmm. Do you ever feel it with your penis?

17:50 Caller Uh, yeah.

17:51 Drew You do?

17:53 Caller Uh, I get...

17:55 Caller We have an after sex life and...

17:57 Drew Drew, can you get to the uterus with your penis?

17:59 Adam No, he gets to the cervix.

18:00 Drew He gets to the cervix.

18:02 Adam Yeah, and you can sort of feel the uterus flip sometimes if you're really straightening everything out.

18:05 Drew But...

18:06 Adam Well, some people can't.

18:07 Drew If they let her take her uterus home, he can get to it?

18:10 Caller Sure.

18:11 Drew Do they give you the parts after they take them out?

18:14 Adam No.

18:14 Drew Why not? I know there's a lot of insurance and that kind of stuff.

18:19 Adam No, it's just the biological waste stuff.

18:21 Caller Hey, here's what I mean.

18:22 Drew What if I got some sort of... took them to court? Do you know what I want to get it?

18:26 Caller Could you get it?

18:27 Adam Yeah.

18:27 Drew One of my old liver.

18:28 Adam Probably.

18:29 Drew Probably get that? And then put it in a piece of loose site and make a paperweight out of it.

18:33 Adam Yeah, that would be nice.

18:34 Drew Hey, let me ask you this.

18:35 Adam The Good Man Show coffee table item.

18:39 Drew Do people have paperweights anymore? Is there no longer the need to weight down paper? I don't think paperweights exist anymore.

18:46 Adam Oh man, another thing from the 70s.

18:47 Drew Paperweight used to be a fairly popular item. You could throw them at people. They would have coins in them. You could go to someone's house. You could go to the desk and look at some paperweight.

18:56 Adam Well remember, we were very in error with Lucite.

19:00 Drew Maybe that was it.

19:01 Adam Well, that was the coolest thing ever.

19:02 Drew I'm just saying, I think the paperweight business is almost falling apart. Anthony? Yeah. Alright, so she's going to be okay.

19:10 Caller Okay. How long are we going to have to not have sex after?

19:14 Adam What is she having the hysterectomy for?

19:17 Caller Severe cervix pain.

19:20 I mean, it's to the point that...

19:22 Adam From what?

19:24 Caller I forget what they call it.

19:27 Fibrous cyst or whatever it's called.

19:29 Adam She has fibrils?

19:31 Caller Yeah.

19:31 Adam She's going to feel better. They'll probably make you wait at least two weeks, maybe three.

19:35 Drew Well, didn't her severe pain slow you down sexually before?

19:38 Adam Right.

19:40 Caller Actually, she said the sex helped.

19:42 Drew Wow.

19:43 Adam The what helped?

19:43 Drew The sex helped her.

19:46 Adam Well, that's going to all be a lot better for her, so.

19:49 Drew So she'll have to be in an oral program for a little while, and then you get back at her.

19:56 Adam A couple weeks. Well, you ask them, they'll tell you.

19:59 Drew Anthony sounds like a very, very concerned and loving individual. You know what I like about guys? He's like, I don't know what she's doing. When can I nail her?

20:13 Adam They're taking out some of her guts. When can we have sex?

20:15 Drew Just taking like the top of her hoo-ha or something. Anyway, when can I get her? I mean, I should get her home first or can I make a move in the hospital? That wouldn't be cool.

20:29 Okay.

20:31 Drew Alright, we'll take a little break. We'll speak to Chris when we come back. You want to talk to Chris?

20:37 Yeah.

20:37 Drew Okay, Drew. You alright tonight? Yeah. Hate to have you lean forward for no good reason.

20:42 Adam It's tough for me. You really put me out there.

20:44 Drew Drew, you're like I was asking directions from an old timer.

20:48 Adam Yeah, it was like on Country Shore. It was like Dumbledore at Petticoat Junction.

20:55 Drew Yeah, we can talk to Chris. Yeah, he's 20 and he lasts about a minute in the sacks. So we'll see if we can help you out, Chris, after that. Hey, everybody. It's my theme song. This is what's pumping in the background as I'm making my way through the hot, happenin scene. Jacket's long over the shoulder. Glass is down. Spotting celebrities, I know. Them givin me the thumbs up. But I keep movin. I don't stop and talk. And I'm bouncing in slow motion, and my hair's movin slow, too. And then, this is what they're hearing.

21:49 Adam What anyone looking is hearing.

21:50 Drew That's right. That's right. But it's all what's going on in your head.

21:54 Adam Everyone else couldn't give an ass.

21:55 Drew That's true. But it's what's going on in your own head that's important, Drew. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. We got Bad Religion coming in here tomorrow night. Good guys who we haven't seen in a while, so we'll be happy to see Bad Religion. Season 311, more good guys. We have seen Semi-Recently, right, Drew? And then Robert Downey Jr., Anthony Kitas next week, the cast from Not Another Teen Movie. So a bunch of good folks coming on to the show. Chris?

22:25 Caller Yo.

22:25 Drew What's up?

22:26 Caller How are you guys?

22:27 Drew Good.

22:28 Caller Good.

22:28 Caller Alright, here's my problem.

22:31 I'm sexually active with a girl, but I'm not dating her. We're just friends. Yeah. What's that?

22:36 Adam You're more involved than you realize, I bet.

22:38 Right.

22:39 Adam I mean, as far as she's concerned.

22:41 Correct. So like we have sex often, like not often, often, but like maybe like once or twice a month. And every time we do it, I just, I last like a minute and a half, like max. And I don't get the pleasure of her, and it's just really embarrassing.

22:56 Drew How has this worked when you've been with other women?

22:59 Same.

23:00 Drew Have you ever been this way your whole life?

23:01 Adam Have you ever been in a steady relationship where you're having sex regularly?

23:04 Well, I did it ago for two years, and towards the end of our relationship we started having sex on an Oreo basis, but it didn't last. So, not regularly, no.

23:13 Drew Hey, you know, porn star Ron Jeremy was in here last week.

23:17 I was listening and I tried to call him, but some guy called and asked the same question. And Ron said, like, look at the caravan's foot or think of guys, but...

23:24 Drew No, but Ron also said something that he doesn't have an option of doing when he's making one of his cinematic triumphs, which is just stopping. I mean, you're getting to that point. Just take a beat and see if it will drop back down, not your penis, but, you know, the sort of...

23:46 Arousal level.

23:46 Drew Well, look at it as sort of a thermometer. And you know in the cartoons when it gets to 120 degrees, it pops at the top. Look at the mercury climbing up the thermometer. It's almost at the top. The head's turning red. It's going to pop. So you put it in the refrigerator for a few seconds and it drops back down. Then you get to wait for it to go back up again. You know, doesn't it kind of work that way, Drew, that you can kind of drop it back down again?

24:11 Adam Again, it's about mastering your own biology. Yours is a sort of quick trigger. You've got to either master it more, you've got to learn how to use oral sex and how to stop when it's a little problem.

24:22 Drew What if you just stopped?

24:24 Well, that's the thing. Last week, okay, she comes over last week and before she came over I had a rubble on it. I masturbated, right?

24:31 Drew Right.

24:33 It happened again. My friends have sex with their girlfriends but they masturbate in the day and then that night they can last for like, you know, a few minutes.

24:39 Adam Well, masturbate twice then. Figure it out. Whatever you've got to do to get this together.

24:43 But will it go away eventually?

24:45 Adam No, this is going to be you. And you heard we have the…

24:48 Drew It'll start.

24:48 It'll get better.

24:49 Adam It will get better. But you heard…

24:50 Drew He'll marry someone, they'll get fat and things will slow down for you.

24:54 Adam You heard the caller we had a few minutes ago about the Selexa and he was having delayed ejaculation. There are medications that will do this. The serotonin reuptake inhibitor. But I hate to see you take a medication to manage something that you should be able to sort of get under your own control.

25:09 Drew Yeah, I think you can. Try to stop. Try to run Jeremy's stop.

25:12 Adam I think some of it is that people don't really take command. They don't really take it seriously. They feel like they can't. It's like something they can't think about. It just has to happen spontaneously as opposed to really... You know what I'm saying?

25:25 I hear you totally. I understand.

25:26 Drew I rarely agree with... What's your name? But yes, we hear this night in and night out. It's like the hand of God has reached down and given me a whack job and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. But in other facets of your life you have problems.

25:45 Adam And fill in the blank, whatever that other facet is, you would have tried a hundred things to try to rectify it and tried all different kinds of things and different combinations. Our call is calling to go, well, I masturbated once before and it happened again. One time. This is something you really are concerned about. I want to hear a hundred different things you've tried.

26:02 Drew Yes. It's as if, let's just say you got rid of semen and you replaced it with urine, which is one of my favorite pastimes. And let's just say you had a real small bladder and you would have to take a leak like a race horse every half hour or something. So when you went to a movie, you wouldn't drink a six pack before you went to a on a long car ride or before you sat through a movie. You would work it out. You would do things. You would learn yourself. You would train yourself and you would make it work.

26:30 Adam I would say something even more sort of obvious as it pertains to coordination. Like you had a limp or you had, you needed to, some handwriting, you know what I mean? You just figure it out. You work on it, work on it, work on it, you get it.

26:42 Drew All right, it's all handwriting.

26:44 Adam Well, I mean something a little more skill or skeletal muscle than smooth muscle like bladder.

26:51 Drew All right, all right, therapy. I mean physical therapy.

26:55 Adam Yeah, yeah, right.

26:56 Drew Figure it out. Enrique?

26:59 Adam Yes.

26:59 Drew You're 17?

27:00 Caller Yes, I'm 17.

27:02 Caller Drew, Adam, you guys are hot. Thanks. Yeah, my question, it starts off like this. I'm a senior in high school. I just started, and I started talking to a girl in one of my classrooms. And me and her, we talked, and we got to know each other, and she told me she had a boyfriend, and you know, so we kept talking, and I guess all of a sudden we started to develop feelings for each other, which is kind of bad because she has a boyfriend, and I don't want to mess up a two-year relationship.

27:38 Adam How do you know we are developing feelings?

27:41 Caller We told each other.

27:43 Adam How did it go exactly, just so we know exactly what she is feeling?

27:46 Caller She told me that she has feelings for me.

27:49 Adam She started the conversation?

27:51 Caller Yeah, she told me, and I told her back.

27:54 Drew Okay, all right. I believe you. She likes you.

27:57 Adam And how is the relationship with her boyfriend going?

28:01 Caller That's one of the issues. Her boyfriend is abusive.

28:06 Adam Of course, he is a real idiot.

28:08 Caller And he calls her names. He hurts her. It really hurts me to see her come to me when she's like hanging all the time.

28:17 Drew How old is her boyfriend?

28:20 Caller I believe he's 19.

28:22 Drew So why doesn't she break up with him?

28:26 Caller She wants to.

28:28 Adam Why doesn't she?

28:29 Caller She wants to, but she's afraid of what he might do to her. Like what?

28:35 Drew Like what her dad did?

28:38 Caller I don't know. Her dad, she has a dad with her. Her dad, he's a cool guy. Yeah, well she's just like terrified of this guy. I want to know if...

28:54 Drew Well she needs to break up with him.

28:58 Caller Well, we'll have to write to her, you know, on...

28:59 Drew Yeah. Hey, Enrique, I got to be honest with you. I know it seems pretty simple.

29:06 Adam Yeah.

29:06 Drew She breaks up with him, you guys start going out.

29:09 Adam Not going to work like that.

29:10 Drew But I guarantee this one's got some issues.

29:13 Adam He'll be back or somebody like him will be back.

29:16 Drew And you, you as the nice guy are great when she's in the middle of this chaotic relationship. But once the dust settles and there's nothing left but the nice guy...

29:25 Adam She needs more chaos.

29:26 Drew She needs to stir up a little dust again.

29:28 Adam Suddenly she'll have a friendship with this guy. I can't let him out of my life. We had so we shared something. He's my friend.

29:33 Drew That's right. So, I would say to her, look, if you're serious about me and forget about me for you, you break up with this guy. He's being abusive. And if she can do that, then you guys can talk and move forward. And that would suggest some progression for her. But if she's unable to do that...

29:54 Adam That's it.

29:55 Drew And believe me, Enrique, she may draw this thing out the entire semester. This thing may go, I tried to, I couldn't do it. She may tell you, I'm going to break up with him this weekend and then come back Monday and they didn't break up.

30:07 Adam Or she did and then he got weird and she had to get back together with him. She caved in.

30:11 Drew Or they're breaking up for a week and she calls him because her comb is over there and she needs it back.

30:16 Adam No, she's worried he's going to hurt himself. Check out, make sure he's okay. There's a human being, Adam. You have to understand that.

30:21 Drew Here's the deal, Enrique. If she breaks up, great. If not, you cannot get involved with her soap opera. You understand? Yes. She is chaotic and she will bring you with her. But give her the chance and tell her that's what she needs to do. And I don't know where her friends are. Shouldn't her friends be telling her to do this? Her family and that kind of stuff?

30:44 Adam I'm sure she's one of these ones that's all wrapped up but the boyfriend has no friends.

30:48 Drew Oh, because Dave is going to be one of those shoulders to cry on. I mean, Enrique is for the next five years.

30:55 Adam The real artistry here is how his girlfriend, or almost girlfriend, sort of painted him for the bullpen. Think about it. Just some guy in class, his brision of his, I like this girl, she was cute, I happened to talk to her and she talked to me.

31:09 Drew Right.

31:10 Adam In her mind, she's getting her bullpen lined up.

31:12 Drew Right.

31:13 Adam She's diabolical. She's like setting this guy up for the...

31:15 Drew That's right. Her starter's getting tired, the fastball's starting to rise, he's losing his control, and she just gave the call to the bullpen to start warming up. Maybe not going to get the hook this inning, but then the next couple innings go into the bullpen. Women do do that.

31:32 Adam Diabolical.

31:33 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

31:35 Adam There may be others.

31:36 Drew Yeah. David? That's a nice start.

31:40 Adam Well, there may be.

31:41 Drew Like a closer and a middle reliever?

31:43 Adam Yeah.

31:43 Drew David?

31:44 Adam There will be one. There will be another if she breaks up with the boyfriend. David? David?

31:51 Caller Hello?

31:51 Drew What's up?

31:52 Adam 16.

31:52 Caller Hey, what's up, guys? Hey.

31:54 Caller First of all, I have to say you guys rock.

31:56 Drew Thank you.

31:57 Whatever.

31:59 Caller Second of all, my girlfriend moved away not too long ago. Her name is Nicole. And I don't know how I could tell, but I could just tell that I had some strong feelings for her and that I loved her more than anything.

32:16 Adam This is when she moved away you started realizing this?

32:18 Caller Yeah.

32:19 Adam Funny how that works.

32:20 Caller Yeah.

32:22 Adam How did you treat her when she was around?

32:26 Caller Often I'd treat her pretty decent.

32:29 Adam She wasn't the love of your life when she was around here though, right?

32:33 Caller When she was around she was kinda.

32:36 Caller I just really didn't realize it until she was gone.

32:40 Drew There we go. Well now she's gone. Where did she move?

32:44 Caller She...

32:45 Caller I have no clue.

32:46 Drew Oh, you guys are pretty tight.

32:49 Adam Yeah, this is how the love of one's life plays out usually.

32:52 Drew You have no clue where she moved to?

32:55 Caller All I know is she moved somewhere close to... or someone inside the state. I don't know when.

33:02 Adam If someone really...

33:03 Drew Oh, hold on. How does that happen? That your girlfriend, love of your life, moves away and you don't know where she went.

33:10 Adam Wouldn't that normally be something she'd mention to you as she takes off? Unless she's evading the law or something.

33:16 Caller No, it's just something that happens suddenly.

33:19 Adam Her parents evading the law?

33:23 Caller Her parents, I guess, got kicked out of the house or something.

33:26 Drew And she's not called you?

33:29 Caller No, she hasn't.

33:30 Adam That's not your girlfriend.

33:31 Drew It's done, baby.

33:32 Adam That's not your girlfriend.

33:34 Drew This is done like last year's turkey.

33:37 Adam Done and done. And listen, David.

33:40 Drew When's the last time you smoked or?

33:43 Caller I'd say about two weeks ago.

33:45 Drew All right. This is five times done. So move on. There's nothing you can do. This is the way it should be for everybody.

33:52 Adam That's right.

33:53 Drew This is a blessing.

33:54 Adam Realize what you're doing is idealizing her. It's a way some people deal with their close relationships. The reality of the relationship is very, very different than the idealization. Idealization is a way to not feel the loss.

34:09 Drew But why not? Why is idealization a way not to feel the loss? It makes you feel the loss more when you really idealize the person.

34:18 Adam You're right, but it's not the, let's put it this way, it helps you not deal with the reality. Put it that way.

34:24 Drew Let me...

34:24 Adam Because reality is there's no real connection, so there's no real loss. You see what I'm saying? So what you get is a...

34:28 Drew Well, why not, though? Why not go with the no pain...

34:31 Adam You think it'd be less pain... Yeah.

34:33 Drew Well, here's what I notice guys doing, and here's what I notice women doing. Women are more involved in the relationship during the relationship, oftentimes. Guys fall asleep at the wheel. Then the woman, after repeated attempts to get the guy more involved in the relationship, finally dumps them for a new, eager guy, like the guy we were talking to, Enrique, who's going to shower them with flowers and attention. Then the guy decides it was the love of his life and can't live without him. Women don't have that gene. Women hate guys who they break up with oftentimes.

35:08 Adam Yeah, guys have trouble doing that.

35:09 Drew And they're smart because it helps them. It's like a prize fighter getting angry at the guy he's got to go into the ring with because it makes it more effective.

35:19 Adam Yeah, more realistic.

35:20 Drew You have an easier time beating a guy up if you've decided in your own mind that you hate the guy's guts and you have an easier time staying away from somebody after a breakup if you decide you hate them. Yeah. And women do a good job of that whereas guys just feel oftentimes remorseful, like they screwed up.

35:36 Adam This is the theory of what difficult time males have individuating from mom, frankly.

35:42 Drew All right. Nobody understands that true, not even you or your mom.

35:46 Adam I understand.

35:47 Drew We're going to take a look.

35:49 Adam You should. You've been in therapy for it for 20 years.

35:51 Drew How dare you? I only talk about sports and work. David is a lucky guy because she's gone. She's not left a forwarding number or address and he never has to think about it again. He doesn't have to see her in the halls at schools. He doesn't have to hear stories about her dating his friends. Nothing. Just poof. I would love it if that happened to me back when. We'll take a break and believe me, the girls who dumped me, they'd love it more.

36:18 Mom, I'm so mad at you.

36:21 Adam I'm so mad at you, mom.

36:23 Drew That's all therapy is. That's all the 50 minutes of that.

36:27 Adam Oh, you poor therapist.

36:29 Drew And talk about the Dodgers. We'll be back.

36:38 Hi, this is Mark from Blink-182, and you are listening to Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew on Loveline. I have a really big dick.

36:46 Drew Hey, everybody. Phone number for Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Bad Religion in here tomorrow night, then 311. Then next week, Robert Downey Jr. and Anthony Kittes, on another night with the cast of Not Another Teen Movie. So a bunch of good people coming in, in a very eclectic mix between bands, actors and celebrities. Dave? Yes. You're 22?

37:16 Caller How are you doing, guys? You're great.

37:17 Drew Thanks. What's up?

37:19 Caller Well, I'm 22 years old. My girlfriend also is 22. We've been dating for about two years now. And I think I have herpes in the mouth.

37:30 Adam You have cold sores?

37:31 Caller Yes.

37:32 Adam And can you tell when you're going to get one?

37:35 Caller Yeah, it feels like a little bit tender.

37:38 Adam Before it comes out? And how often do you get them, would you say?

37:43 Caller At least once a week. Pretty frequently.

37:46 Adam Alright, well, you're going to have to be very cautious with oral sex. I mean, let's put it this way. If you give her oral sex, you are most likely going to transmit that virus.

37:56 Drew How about you get on some of those suppression therapy drugs?

37:59 Adam Zaltrex or Fambeer or something like that, Zilverax.

38:02 Drew Okay. You know the commercials where the chicks are kickboxing?

38:06 Adam Aren't they surfing through wheat or something?

38:10 Drew No, that's for the allergy medicine. They are doing a lot of kickboxing and then there is another one where some floozies at a party trying to get laid. And it's the freedom. Freedom to whore. Oh, and to kick ass apparently. Alright. So Dave, talk to your doctor. You got a doctor? Tell him you want to get... You see what you do is you get on the stuff that you just take all the time as opposed to taking it when you have a breakout.

38:39 Caller You just stay on it all the time.

38:41 Adam She will be taking some risk. If you want to eliminate or substantially reduce that risk...

38:45 Drew Don't say it...

38:46 Adam .dental damn. Good times.

38:51 Drew Or you could just go down on like one of those shrink-wrapped hams...

38:56 Adam Yeah...

38:57 Drew .before you take it out of the package. That dental damn just sounds like a nightmare. Why? It just sounds comical. It's comical. What do you do? How big is that piece of Lexanne or whatever they put over there?

39:12 Adam What's this?

39:13 Drew That is...

39:14 Adam Four by?

39:15 Drew No, that's six by. Six inches by six inches. And you just spread it over the area. And then you just start going to town and how do you even know where you are?

39:27 Adam Well, in your carpet bombing technique, how the hell do you know where you are anyway?

39:31 Drew That's right. I take out the whole village.

39:39 Caller Oh, God.

39:43 Adam That's my group.

39:45 Drew Is that Nicole Sullivan from Man TV? Interesting. I didn't even remember that was her. Yeah, I've done the technique on so many women. I forget. Brian?

39:55 Caller Yeah.

39:55 Drew You're 15?

39:56 Caller Yep.

39:57 Drew What's up?

39:58 Caller Well, like, I was having sex with my girlfriend and, like, my dad walked in and I can't remember.

40:04 Adam What did he do?

40:05 Caller What?

40:06 Adam What did he do when he walked in?

40:07 Caller He kind of, like, passed out, sort of, for, like, half a second and then ran away.

40:12 Adam Did he hit the floor?

40:14 Drew No.

40:15 Adam He passed, I mean, like, he fell into the wall, kind of like, oh, my God, holding his chest, saying, Elizabeth, this is a big one.

40:20 Caller Yeah.

40:21 Drew Pulling Fred Sandford on you? Yeah. Yeah. I'm not sure if I believe this.

40:26 Adam No, I don't either.

40:28 Drew Because your penis would bounce right back.

40:31 Adam Well, not unless it had a little more detail about what the nature of the trauma was.

40:34 Drew What position were you in?

40:36 Caller Well, like, it was mainly oral, so.

40:38 Adam Mainly? Yeah. I see. When he walked in mainly oral? Oh, mainly.

40:42 Drew And who was doing what with the oral?

40:45 Caller Well, she was giving me the oral.

40:47 Drew She was giving you the oral?

40:48 Adam What was the other thing you were doing besides it that made it just mainly?

40:51 Caller I was, like, fingering her at me.

40:52 Caller Pussy.

40:53 Adam At the same time? At the same time when your dad walked in?

40:57 Drew And did you not know he was home?

40:59 Caller Nope.

41:00 Drew He just rolled in on you?

41:02 Adam What room were you in?

41:03 Caller My room.

41:04 Drew And how long ago was this?

41:07 Caller About a week ago.

41:08 Drew What day?

41:10 Caller Like Wednesday.

41:12 Adam Week.

41:13 Drew All right. And now you cannot achieve an erection when you attempt to masturbate?

41:19 Adam Because you're anxious about this whole thing?

41:21 Caller Yeah.

41:21 Adam Has your dad talked to you about it since?

41:24 Caller Uh-huh.

41:24 Adam And how did that conversation go?

41:26 Caller It was kind of uncomfortable.

41:28 Adam Yeah. Kind of. What exactly was discussed?

41:32 Caller Well, like, he gave me that sex talk stuff.

41:35 Adam What did he say?

41:37 Caller He just gave me that talk about, you know, like, oh, you're getting to that age where you get interested in girls and all that.

41:43 Adam Wait a minute. He just caught you getting a blow job.

41:45 Caller Yeah, I know.

41:47 Drew Well, he's starting slow. You're getting to that age.

41:51 Adam You might find women kind of attractive. He just walked in on them.

41:55 Drew Yes.

41:56 Adam He did not have a conversation with you. Not like that.

41:59 Drew Well, he didn't know what to say.

42:01 Adam Well, the conversation is, here, this is a condom. Here's how birth control works.

42:05 Drew Okay.

42:06 Adam These are STDs.

42:06 Drew All right. But if this is, in fact, Drew...

42:10 Adam You'll get over it.

42:10 Drew Yeah. Your penis is having a little post-traumatic stress disorder. That's all.

42:15 Adam P-T-E-P.

42:17 Drew Penis?

42:17 Adam Yeah. Post-traumatic.

42:19 Drew Penis stress disorder? Yeah. You'll be fine. Drew, who are we going to talk to now?

42:24 Adam I thought we were going to go to the commercial break. Yeah. Let's go to the break.

42:27 Drew Yeah. Well, let's talk about talking to somebody. Let's talk to Art, who's 34, thinks he found his girlfriend's G-spot. Let's know exactly what it is.

42:38 Adam You know what I think he's found? He found the...

42:40 Drew Art?

42:41 Caller Yeah?

42:41 Drew He found a G-spot?

42:44 Caller Well...

42:44 Adam Spigot, I think.

42:46 Caller Well, my question is for Dr. Drew.

42:48 Drew All right. I just wanted to get a quick little yes and then go to bed.

42:53 Caller We're not callers, Adam.

42:54 Adam Come on.

42:54 Drew You're right.

42:55 Adam Okay.

42:55 Drew We're going to take a break. We'll come back. We'll talk to Art. We'll get into the G-spot thing, which seems to have died out a little bit. Where it is, where it can be found.

43:03 Adam Somebody asked us about the A-spot over the weekend. Remember that?

43:05 Drew Yep. Yep. And what its hours are.

43:07 Adam It's a merrity.

43:09 Drew We'll come back. Talk about that with Art after this.

43:33 Caller Hey, it's Loveline.

43:35 Drew This is my backup riff if my theme song goes down.

43:39 Adam I like this one better. Very 70s.

43:42 Drew Yeah, well, this is what I go to in a pinch when my theme song is down or rebooting or something. It's Loveline, Adam. That's Drew over there. Bad Religion Tomorrow Night, Art.

43:55 Caller Hey, how are you doing, Adam? Good, Dr. Drew. Art? Hey, I got a question for you. I've been with my girl for a while and I know I found what they call the G-spot and it drives her crazy when I hit it, but what is that exactly?

44:13 Adam What is it you're describing? Tell us what you're...

44:16 Caller Well, it's deep inside and it feels like a little nub or something. Yeah, yeah. And...

44:23 Adam Well, that's the G-spot, but the G-spot is not deep inside.

44:25 Caller Huh? It's not.

44:27 Adam No.

44:27 Drew Well, it's inside.

44:28 Adam But it's about half a finger's depth.

44:30 Drew Eh, maybe a little further.

44:32 Caller What am I hitting that's just making her go ballistic?

44:34 Drew Well, you're probably hitting her cervix. Probably the remnants of her penis.

44:40 Caller Well, I hope not.

44:42 Adam What do you mean it makes her go crazy? What does it mean?

44:43 Caller I mean, she's just loving it.

44:45 Drew You go in and up?

44:46 Caller Well, I'm just... It's like when I'm as far up as I can go in there. And I just start rubbing on something, and man, she just goes wild.

44:56 Drew Are you going up? Or just in? Well, I'm saying, you're going in and up, or are you just going in?

45:01 Caller Well, there's only one place to go in there.

45:03 Adam How do you get in and up?

45:04 Drew Well, I mean...

45:05 Adam I mean, you make sure you... I see what you're saying.

45:07 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah.

45:08 Drew You got your finger pointing straight, and then you got your finger sort of curled up.

45:11 Adam This is penis. Penis.

45:12 Drew Oh, this is penis? Oh, I thought it was a finger thing. Not my finger. Oh, sorry about that. I can see where that would be confusing.

45:19 Adam Adam is very confused about someone becoming a rouse when there's a penis inserted. It's a difficult concept for him to get.

45:25 Drew She's faking it. You can't bend your penis?

45:30 Caller I don't know what it is, but I'd love to draw a road map for anything. No, no, no.

45:34 Adam This is just her. This is not a routine. This is not a normal thing. This is something she likes.

45:39 Caller Is that right?

45:39 Adam Yeah. Basically, the G-spot is just... You know, the pubic bone, if you reach in there with your fingers, you feel the bone there? Just past that.

45:48 Caller Huh.

45:49 Drew And up?

45:50 Adam And up.

45:50 Drew Right?

45:50 Adam And forward, yeah. So towards the front.

45:53 Drew Yeah.

45:54 Adam The stuff you're getting back in the cervix and all that is something she likes for a reason. And he may be stimulating something else with some other part of his penis because he's not aware of it.

46:02 Drew Yeah. Eh, she probably, who knows with chicks too, they're ever-evolving.

46:10 Adam Their spectrum of responsiveness, men come in one version.

46:15 Drew But here's the thing, you could be with a woman for a few years. What didn't work so well last year didn't seem to elicit much of a response last year. Seems to be getting a big response this year and you think you're doing something different. And meanwhile, it's just the ever-changing vagina.

46:34 Adam Is that your new book?

46:35 Drew Yeah.

46:35 Adam The ever-changing vagina.

46:36 Drew It's a pop-up too.

46:37 Adam Oh, nice.

46:38 Drew Chrissy? Hello. You're 32?

46:40 Caller 32.

46:41 Drew What's up?

46:42 Caller What's up?

46:43 Drew Yeah.

46:44 Caller Well, I had been with the same guy for 13 years. We broke up about two years ago. And I went out with a 23-year-old. During this time, I found out that I had foster sisters when I was younger. And I think that I am more inclined to the female persuasion.

47:03 Drew Did they molest you?

47:04 Adam They must have. We bring them up in that context.

47:06 Caller Yeah. Well, they have sex with couples and things. And I just like kind of...

47:13 Adam No. Did your foster sisters...

47:16 Caller Well, ask me no. But I'd watch them have sex with other people.

47:20 Adam Well, that's abuse if you were a child.

47:23 Caller I was...

47:24 Caller Well, yeah, 14, 15, 16.

47:26 Drew Well, let me say this, Drew. If that's abuse, where do I sign up? 37 years young.

47:36 Caller Anyway.

47:37 Drew Hey, I'm 36 years young.

47:38 Caller No, I'm 32.

47:42 Yeah.

47:43 Caller Anyway.

47:43 Drew Whoa. Hey, Chrissy?

47:45 Caller So, my problem is...

47:46 Drew Chrissy, Chrissy. What's going on in the background there? You got some news on or something?

47:50 Caller No, nothing at all.

47:51 Drew Well, what was I hearing coming over there?

47:53 Caller Oh, it's my phone.

47:55 Drew Just picks up AM Oh, it's a radio, huh?

47:56 Caller Yeah. Sorry.

47:58 Drew All right. So, now you're with a younger guy, and did you get back together with the old guy?

48:03 Caller Yeah. Yeah. I've done with a 23-year-old, and I'm back with a 32-year-old...

48:07 Drew Right...

48:07 Caller .that I was with originally. And we're talking about getting married in June.

48:11 Drew Right.

48:12 Caller And I'm concerned because I have female tendencies, and I want to know if I can just kind of keep that a fantasy and...

48:20 Adam Well, why don't you deal with whatever feelings you have about the just incredibly bad boundaries your foster sister's had.

48:26 Drew Yeah.

48:27 Adam Why don't you get some work with that, and if you still have same-sex feelings, you've got to really look at that carefully before you develop a heterosexual marriage.

48:34 Drew And also moreover, whatever went on in your family that required you to be involved with a foster family. I mean, did you get dumped off at a family, or did you take these girls in?

48:48 Caller No, I kind of got dumped off.

48:51 Adam Yeah, so it's a little heavy.

48:52 Caller Yeah, I got with that already.

48:53 Adam No, you didn't? No, it doesn't sound like it.

48:57 Caller Kind of.

48:57 Drew Well, that seemed like a tough thing to deal with. How old were you?

49:02 Caller Fourteen.

49:03 Drew Why would it happen?

49:06 Caller My mother thought my father was molesting me, but it wasn't true.

49:10 Adam Why does she think that?

49:13 Caller My mother is a bit psychotic.

49:15 Drew Okay. So, psychotic mama and...

49:18 Adam We're worried your dad molested you, too, though.

49:20 Drew Yeah. How did that work, where your dad wasn't able to prove this or keep his child?

49:24 Caller He passed away.

49:26 Drew When did he pass away?

49:27 Caller When I was sixteen, in the middle of all this. Of what? Well, my mom brought it up in court.

49:35 Adam What did he die of?

49:37 Caller Cancer.

49:39 Drew So, at fourteen, your mom decides that your dad is molesting you.

49:45 Adam And so child services takes you away?

49:49 Caller Yeah.

49:52 She dumped me off at a hospital, as a matter of fact.

49:54 Adam A hospital?

49:57 Drew Your parents had gotten divorced when?

50:01 A year before that.

50:02 Adam What do you mean she dumped you off at a hospital?

50:04 Caller She brought me to a hospital and said that she dumped me off at a hospital.

50:09 Adam Well, the hospital wouldn't admit you unless you met admission criteria.

50:11 Caller Well, actually they kept me for two weeks to evaluate me.

50:16 Adam Yeah, well, Chrissy, something was going on with you, obviously.

50:20 Caller Well, yeah, I had an eating from aspirin.

50:23 Adam Oh, you tried to kill yourself, except for that part. Oh, I forgot to mention that part. Adam just forgot that part.

50:29 Drew Well, there you go, baby.

50:30 Adam Yeah, Chrissy, please.

50:31 Drew Please.

50:32 Adam The only thing you can do is take responsibility for things in life that you actually have responsibility for and try to change those things, if you want to.

50:41 Drew Well, I'm just guessing you're not over this. This seems like just a ton.

50:47 Adam It's just the fact you're distorting the history so badly.

50:49 Drew Okay. All right. So forget about, I mean, don't focus so much on your feelings toward women and just general therapy. Work it out.

50:59 Adam You're an addict. You're an addict, too, huh?

51:02 Caller Um, I've just been six months clean and sober.

51:05 Adam All right. So you, and how is your sobriety going that your sponsor is letting you consider a marriage six months into sobriety?

51:14 Caller Yeah.

51:15 Adam You're a lesbian.

51:16 Drew I went to her place.

51:17 Adam No, Chrissy, you get your, you don't even have a sponsor, do you?

51:20 Caller Yeah, I do.

51:21 Adam All right. Well, you talk to her every morning. You go to two meetings a day and you see if some of the stuff doesn't just take care of itself.

51:28 Drew Oh, and that family just sounds like complete and utter chaos of 14. Going into a foster family at 14? That's almost unheard of.

51:39 Adam And you got a dad who allegedly Well, the way she told the story, the hospital sent her into a foster family. Now, there is no way a Department of Social Services at a psychiatric hospital is going to place someone in a foster home without some real serious-esque going down.

51:56 Drew At the home?

51:57 Adam At the home.

51:58 Drew Right. Okay. Well, that's nice. I shouldn't put a good spin on it. You know what's funny? I think I find funny about this show. You have people who had it relatively good growing up, who were busy beating the crap out of their parents, and then you have people that really had it bad or busy defending their parents.

52:16 Adam Idealizing them.

52:17 Drew Yeah, it's interesting.

52:18 Adam Do you know why people do that?

52:19 Drew No.

52:20 Adam Because when the powerlessness is so profound, when they're just being abused by some out-of-control nutball, the only way that they can feel like they're in enough control to survive it is they start thinking, well, this person knows better, I deserve this. Now I'm back in control again.

52:35 Drew Right.

52:36 Adam See how that works? Because of me that it's happening. I mean, now, and you get grandiose. Now I'm causing all kinds of things.

52:41 Drew Right. When you say you, you don't mean Drew.

52:43 Adam I mean me. No, I do mean me.

52:44 Drew Oh, you do?

52:45 Caller Yeah.

52:45 Drew Oh, I'm sorry. Misunderstood. Angel?

52:48 Hi.

52:49 Drew You're 32?

52:50 Caller Yep.

52:51 Drew What's up?

52:52 Caller Well, I would like to know how I contracted something called strep B down in my vaginal area.

53:02 Adam Strep B? Strep B is another strep tachoccus. If I remember right, it's more associated with colon, so it probably came out of your colon, and that's an area that's sort of in the vicinity, and that's how it overgrows in there.

53:14 It wasn't caused by the tachoccus?

53:16 Adam Strep B may be even a normal bug in that area, it just overgrew for some reason, something sort of upset the balance in there.

53:23 Drew Are you suggesting she's wiping the wrong direction?

53:27 Adam I don't know, but you just got some vaginitis, basically?

53:30 Caller Well, he was telling me, just like you said, it comes from the stool, the actual Strep B or whatever, but see, I guess, because I had called an advice nurse, and they said I was telling her how I had an episiotomy, and after I had our baby, we like had sex, I don't even know if it was two weeks after I even gave birth and everything.

53:51 Adam Wait a minute, Angel, your description, Strep B vaginitis, these are like super common things. It's like saying, how did I get acne?

53:57 Caller Oh, I didn't know that.

53:58 Adam Yeah, I mean, just vaginitis, these are really common. There's several different bacteria that can cause it. That's one of them, that's it. You see, you just took some creams and got over it, right?

54:07 Caller No, actually, they put me on antibiotics for some reason.

54:11 Adam Right, the antibiotic creams are antibiotic pills, and that's it, that's over.

54:16 Caller Well, I would have it forever.

54:17 Adam I say, you're going to get more, you're going to get other ones, because people who get this, it tends to recur just like yeast. Think of it like a yeast infection.

54:23 Drew I'm interested in her husband.

54:25 Caller What?

54:26 Drew This guy's having sex two weeks after the episiotomy.

54:30 Caller Oh, and we had many times, that's why they thought it broke, and then maybe it came from there.

54:35 Adam Did you have a rectal tear?

54:37 Caller Well, yeah, that's how the strep B got there, that's what the nurse was saying, and so I'm like, okay.

54:41 Adam No, strep B, not necessarily. You had a rectal tear, is that right?

54:45 Caller That's what I'm thinking, see, they've never said that.

54:48 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

54:50 Caller Oh, I would know, I would know.

54:51 Drew Yeah, oh my God. Drew, is the rectal tear, and hold on a second, I'm gonna bite on a wooden spoon here, but the rectal tear is-

54:59 Adam Well, the piece of enemy, the vagina tears, then the vaginal wall tears, and the wall between the vagina and the rectum tears, and then the rectum tears.

55:05 Drew So it just becomes one opening?

55:07 Adam One opening.

55:08 Drew Oh, so you go on number one, number two at the same time?

55:13 Adam And sex, all the same thing. Oh man.

55:15 Caller Are you actually from wiping? I mean, because I really try to wipe.

55:18 Drew Wait a minute, I'm not done with your husband.

55:20 Adam Oh, okay. I'm only like Angel and her obsessive-compulsive thing about germs, I mean, what if I said you had it in your nose?

55:26 Drew Okay, hold on a second, shut up with this strepococcus crap. This is boring me.

55:32 Caller I'm just worried because if I get pregnant-

55:34 Drew I don't care about you in your pregnancy.

55:35 Adam Something does need to be monitored for pregnancy and they will.

55:38 Drew Are you not interested in the fact that she had the episiotomy and her husband basically tore her open like that?

55:46 Adam Did your sutures out yet when he started having sex with you?

55:49 Caller I don't think so. It was just two weeks after. It was in the front-

55:52 Drew Hold on a second. There's a few things that are disturbing about Angel. One, she's very fuzzy on a lot of facts like, did you have rectal tearing? Maybe. Could have been. That sounds familiar. Did he have sex with you when he still had stitches in you? Yeah, maybe. Not sure. Aren't these things you would know very clearly, especially since it happened?

56:13 Adam If these things were happening, yes.

56:15 Drew Just recently?

56:16 Adam They weren't happening.

56:17 Drew Is she a hypochondria?

56:18 Caller Maybe. I said we did have sex through the vagina and maybe it might have tore something back there, but they said it was-

56:25 Drew No. He said, were your sutures out? He said he didn't know.

56:31 Caller Well, I thought the suture you're talking about the stitch from the epigotomy, right?

56:35 Drew Right.

56:36 Caller Well, they disintegrate, the ones that they put in.

56:39 Adam Were they still there when you had sex?

56:41 Caller As far as I know, you know what, it's hard for me to tell if I didn't see them, but I'm sure that they probably were because it did a little bit of hurt.

56:48 Drew Okay.

56:49 Caller It hurt at the same time.

56:50 Drew Are you kind of angry at your husband for being so aggressive so soon after you had the baby?

56:55 Caller No, because actually he's not the one. In fact, he was saying don't and I was more like, oh, please can we because I want to.

57:01 Drew Okay.

57:01 Caller That was actually me.

57:02 Drew All right. So your name is Angel. That worries me a little bit. Is everything going okay with the kid?

57:09 Caller Yeah. She's Angel too.

57:14 Drew You get her on Northland on her fifth birthday.

57:15 Caller She's a good girl. No, she's a good girl.

57:17 Drew All right. Your husband doing all right?

57:18 Caller Yeah. He's great.

57:19 Drew What's he do for a living?

57:21 Caller He works as a hardware salesman.

57:24 Drew Okay. I respect that.

57:25 Caller He's doing great. Can I ask you one more really quick question?

57:27 Drew Yeah.

57:28 Caller I have a bump on my arm that I've had for over a year. It's red. It looks like a pimple and then all of a sudden, it just never goes away. It's red.

57:36 Drew Hey, Angel, you're going to give your kid an eating disorder with all this hypochondria.

57:40 Caller Okay.

57:41 Drew You got to stop worrying about all the nonsense of life. Okay. When it's time to go, it's time to go. I always love people are very convenient with that answer. And I hear it a lot, especially with all the tragedies and stuff. People go, are you worried about flying and this and that? You know, when it's time to go?

58:03 Adam If it's my time.

58:03 Drew If it's my time. Really? I don't know. You put your seatbelt on when you drive your car, don't you?

58:11 Adam You don't drive the wrong way on the freeway.

58:14 Drew You don't try to drive up the off-ramp of the freeway, do you? It's time to go. I wish, oh, man. I would give one million dollars for that time to go. When the good Lord says it's your time, it's your time.

58:30 Adam Oh, you wish you had that attitude?

58:31 Drew I wish I felt that way.

58:33 Adam Genuinely.

58:33 Drew No, because if something tragic happens to me, the last, you know, people's life flashed before their eyes, I'm going to be beating myself up emotionally. Oh, Christ, I shouldn't have went to the liquor store at 4 a.m. Like I had to get that six-pack. You know, whatever tragedy befalls me, whatever is going through my mind, I'll be thinking, why did I do this? I will not be thinking, well, I guess the Lord needs some help up there. It's time to go. It's time to go. Angel sounded a little nutty. Jason? Yeah. And she did not disappoint with my theory about old girls and boys named Angel. Go ahead, Jason.

59:17 Caller Yeah, first I want to say, you're great, I watched the Man Show, I started to watch that and I liked that very much. Whatever.

59:23 Drew Thank you, Jason.

59:25 Caller You're very welcome. I'm starting to be a fan.

59:29 Drew That's good.

59:29 Adam Where are your parents? Why aren't they monitoring your viewing habits?

59:32 Drew They got bigger fish to fry than the Man Show.

59:34 Adam What's up, Jason?

59:36 Caller Well, here's the thing. I recently got my first girlfriend and excuse me, I was over at her house and we were kind of covering up and just sitting together talking and then all of a sudden she started moving ahead and we started making out and all of a sudden we got to standing up and making out and I got an erection while this was happening and after we were done well like towards the end she started to like hold me closer to her and I rubbed her against her and she felt it and she got this weird look. She just got this look like I was, I don't know what it meant but then right afterwards I've never seen her make that face before but she's just like got this weird look in her eye and then afterwards she just asked me to leave. I feel like she's like oh I think you better leave and I'm like oh okay and I just walked out the door and I'm like am I always going to get an erection whenever I'm making out or is this just like a one time thing and I'll get used to it when you know with more girls and more women.

1:00:51 Drew Yeah it's like a hymen for a man. You break it and now it's gone. You'll never get another erection while you're making out.

1:00:58 Adam You'll learn to manage it as they say.

1:00:59 Drew Are you really asking if you're going to get an erection when you make out?

1:01:02 Adam I can remember thinking stuff like that when I was at age. You would? Yeah I remember thinking, oh my god, how do you deal with this?

1:01:08 Caller I mean I really like this girl and I don't want her to think.

1:01:14 Adam The young ladies don't know what to think either.

1:01:16 Caller Yeah that's my problem. I don't want her to think something that I'm not implying.

1:01:23 Drew You don't want to get the wrong message?

1:01:25 Caller Yeah, I don't want to.

1:01:27 Adam This is a normal reaction. It will be there until you're about 36. How old are you Adam? 37? 36? Yeah, about 36.

1:01:34 Drew Yeah.

1:01:34 Adam Then it will stop altogether.

1:01:36 Drew Yeah, I mean if the good Lord says it's time for your penis to stop getting wrecked then I guess it's done.

1:01:41 Caller So it will just pass with time, right?

1:01:43 Drew No, no. No, no.

1:01:45 Adam It's just you'll learn to sort of...

1:01:46 Drew No, listen, it will not be a liability.

1:01:50 Caller Right.

1:01:52 Caller I'll just find out how to control it.

1:01:54 Drew No, no, you will not. Look, Drew, quiet down. Let me talk to the young man. Have you talked to your girlfriend since this?

1:02:01 Caller No, I haven't. I only haven't talked about it.

1:02:05 Drew Have you talked to her, though?

1:02:06 Caller Well, should he? No. I mean, I said hi to her this lunch because, I mean, she's helping out in the cafeteria. They're doing lunch. I don't get to see her. So the main days I see her is like Fridays and Mondays.

1:02:23 Drew Stay focused. Hold on. Can you get like a free sweet roll of milk from her?

1:02:28 Caller Well, I mean, sometimes, I don't really, I usually bring my own lunch, but sometimes I can go, in the morning, I can go get some cookies and stuff I want.

1:02:37 Drew Does she give them to you?

1:02:38 Caller Yeah.

1:02:39 Drew What's your mom pack? Like tuna or egg salad? What about you?

1:02:42 Caller I have, I have to buy me these Clif Bars. They're really good.

1:02:46 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:02:47 Caller I don't need anything else.

1:02:48 Drew You just eat Clif Bars.

1:02:50 Adam Oh, your mom's, your mom's going to touch out there.

1:02:52 Drew She's in hog heaven, yeah.

1:02:53 Caller Yeah, they're only like a buck.

1:02:55 Caller And these things, man, they, they fill me, like, five, two of these, I might need.

1:02:59 Adam Why do I have to eat three of them?

1:03:00 Drew You like the raspberry swirl ones, or you go with the fudge cooking cream. So, Jason?

1:03:05 Caller Yeah?

1:03:06 Drew About your penis? I'm kind of curious if you've spoken to her, though, since this incident.

1:03:13 Caller Oh, I haven't, I haven't really.

1:03:15 Adam Stay focused on the question here. Have you spoken to her? Have you had a face-to-face alone with her?

1:03:20 Drew I'm picturing a guy with like, you know, like eight mouths' worth of braces.

1:03:26 Adam Yeah, they're only good feet. You can hear it.

1:03:27 Drew And like a wind-up beanie.

1:03:33 Adam Be respectful, here.

1:03:34 Come on, come on, come on.

1:03:37 Drew Hey, Jason?

1:03:37 Yeah?

1:03:38 Drew All right. You know, I love you, buddy.

1:03:40 Thanks.

1:03:41 Drew And your penis.

1:03:42 Adam Have you had a one-to-one discussion with her about anything since this all happened?

1:03:48 Caller Uh, not about this, but...

1:03:50 Adam No, but you spent time with her alone, since this happened. Give me a few minutes.

1:03:55 Drew She works at the cafeteria.

1:03:58 Caller No, she doesn't work there.

1:03:59 Adam Jason, answer my question.

1:04:01 Caller Not really.

1:04:01 Adam No. All right.

1:04:04 Caller Sorry.

1:04:05 Adam All right. I'm sorry.

1:04:07 Drew Okay, so...

1:04:08 Adam I want Jason to come up here. I want him on the show. I want him to come over here so we can really sit down and talk to him.

1:04:13 Drew We're doing like a spaz night?

1:04:14 Caller Yeah.

1:04:15 Drew Jason?

1:04:15 Adam Maybe we'll Bruce it here tonight.

1:04:18 Drew And just tell me how long ago this happened with the erection?

1:04:21 Caller Well, I was out of...

1:04:22 Drew Just tell me how many days? How many days?

1:04:24 Caller Friday, last Friday.

1:04:25 Drew Last Friday. Last Friday. Okay. And how long was she your girlfriend?

1:04:31 Caller We've hooked up. We've been together for like a week.

1:04:34 Drew Oh, okay.

1:04:37 Adam He needs to come up here.

1:04:38 Drew You did?

1:04:39 Adam He's in Pasadena. He'll come right down. Not necessarily.

1:04:41 He's 14 months old.

1:04:42 Drew He's going to take a zipper down here.

1:04:45 Adam He and Brad religion, the big great...

1:04:47 Caller Drew can pick him up on the way over.

1:04:49 Drew Drew, he does live in your neighborhood.

1:04:51 Adam That's true.

1:04:52 Drew Swing by and pick the kid up. I'll show you his erection. Okay, having the erection is fine. You did nothing wrong, Jason. And this will happen again, but you know what? The reaction will be very different from the young lady. And that just means she wasn't ready.

1:05:10 Adam And here's what's going to happen to her. She's going to go back to her friends and talk about this. And they're going to go, of course. Somebody's going to know a little more than her.

1:05:17 Drew What did you expect?

1:05:17 Adam And you're going to go, what did you guess? Of course. Of course. And they're going to go, eww, eww, eww. And she's going to get over it and he should just go about his business and focus on really developing the relationship.

1:05:27 Drew Right.

1:05:27 Adam Let it be clear that you'll care about her. You're interested in her. Forget this happened. She's going to process that with her own little friends.

1:05:34 Drew You guys will get married, you'll go to college, you'll become a professional, you'll have a couple of kids, you know, work will take over your life, your kids will grow up presenting you because you spent so much time on the road.

1:05:43 Adam They'll get a radio show and they'll talk about it all the time.

1:05:45 Drew That's right. And we'll be back. Hey, hey, Loveline, everybody. Adam, that's Drew. I miss Josh already.

1:06:01 Adam I do too.

1:06:02 Drew And could there be a better name than Josh for that time?

1:06:04 Adam Josh is my buddy.

1:06:06 Drew Yeah.

1:06:07 Caller What?

1:06:07 Drew What was his name?

1:06:08 Caller What?

1:06:09 Drew Wasn't Josh?

1:06:10 Adam Oh, Jason.

1:06:10 Drew Jason. I decided that Josh was a much more fitting name for Jason. Jason works pretty good, too.

1:06:19 Adam You know, Jason moved our staff, too. I've never seen them jump around so much this late in the evening.

1:06:24 Drew If his staff hadn't moved, though, he wouldn't have called.

1:06:27 Adam Very funny.

1:06:27 Caller They also...

1:06:29 Adam I want to tell them what Damien chimed in as we left the studio a few minutes ago.

1:06:33 Drew I'm Jason. Damien was saying that Josh... He was surprised that Josh didn't bust a nut when he was...

1:06:41 Adam How nice it is for him that didn't go all the way there.

1:06:43 Drew Yeah.

1:06:44 Adam Could have been worse.

1:06:45 Drew Yeah. Damien would have done that in a second, especially with a hot 14-year-old. Yeah. Unacceptable. Jessica?

1:06:53 Caller Yeah.

1:06:54 Drew You're 19?

1:06:56 Adam What's up?

1:06:57 Caller I have a lump in my breast. It's kind of painful. Well, I was thinking I'm too young to have breast cancer or anything, but I...

1:07:04 Adam Well, it's not impossible to have breast cancer, but it's certainly very unlikely. On the other hand, breast cysts are extremely common in your age group, and they are tender, and they are lumpy, and they hurt around the time of your period, and that's what that probably is. You may well be one of these people who has to watch your caffeine and chocolate intake.

1:07:20 Caller Oh, I drink a lot of caffeine.

1:07:21 Adam And, you know, you go see your doctor about it so you can check it. And I hear she can check it out.

1:07:25 Caller Okay, like if I don't do anything about it, is it going to like cause serious problems?

1:07:30 Caller Well, I've had it a while.

1:07:31 Drew Well, go do something about it.

1:07:33 Adam You need to be sure.

1:07:36 Drew How big are those breasts?

1:07:37 Caller Really, really small.

1:07:40 Drew All right, let's move on. Well, we've got to take calls. We can't make a lullagag. Oh, my God. Look, you've got really small breasts and there's a lump. To me, you should be less embarrassed. If you have real small breasts, there's less to see for the doctor. Just go see him.

1:07:57 Adam And they may want to do an ultrasound just to be sure, but that's being very, very careful.

1:08:02 Drew It's just a good habit to get into.

1:08:05 Adam You should be seeing anywhere you have pap smears and stuff.

1:08:07 Drew Right. Anthony?

1:08:09 Caller Yeah.

1:08:10 Drew You're 16? Yep. You're not a virgin, are you?

1:08:16 Caller Uh, I honestly have no idea after the day. What the hell happened? All right.

1:08:22 Drew Oh, this call is about that?

1:08:24 Caller Yeah, basically.

1:08:35 Caller I mean, we talked about this before, and we never wanted to actually do it.

1:08:39 Adam Do what?

1:08:40 Caller Like have sex.

1:08:42 Caller Like we wanted to try to stay like a little bit until maybe like later, like until we get married.

1:08:48 Adam You're getting married to this girl.

1:08:50 Caller Yeah.

1:08:51 How old is she?

1:08:52 Caller She's 15.

1:08:53 Adam 15, okay.

1:08:55 Caller Like same grade, just like five months younger.

1:08:59 Caller And basically, like what happened, I feel like pretty reluctant about it, but I went ahead and stuck it in as I was sticking it in.

1:09:12 Drew And like I got an orgasm.

1:09:17 Adam Right then?

1:09:19 Caller Yeah, because like we were fooling around with one and I was lost.

1:09:22 Adam So inside her, you had an orgasm?

1:09:24 Drew Yeah.

1:09:25 Caller All right.

1:09:25 Adam So it's time to get that emergency contraceptive pill, right?

1:09:30 Caller Yeah, it was unprotected.

1:09:31 Adam What protected? What do you mean?

1:09:33 Caller It was unprotected.

1:09:34 Adam Yeah. So she's got to get that emergency contraceptive pill.

1:09:37 Drew This is between me, you and Mr. Bubble.

1:09:40 Adam Tomorrow, Anthony, right?

1:09:42 Caller Where do you get that from?

1:09:43 Adam Planned Parenthood, any urgent care center, but you might try Planned Parenthood.

1:09:49 Caller Do you think anything happened because I like pulled out right there?

1:09:53 Adam I mean, you ejaculated somewhere else, not inside her.

1:09:55 Caller Yeah.

1:09:56 Adam It's still possible. She still ought to take that pill, in my opinion.

1:10:00 Drew I mopped up, put it in mom's bathrobe.

1:10:01 Adam Obviously, much less risk than if you'd ejaculated inside, but there's stuff around there that can do the trick.

1:10:08 Drew Thank God they had the nuns, they had dick daisies on the diamond.

1:10:12 Caller The thing is, she said I wasn't all the way in yet.

1:10:16 Adam Yeah, that doesn't matter at all.

1:10:19 Drew Hey man, that dairy would be great if the semen came out of the side of your penis.

1:10:31 Adam Oh, my God. But Anthony, this is why you have to be careful about condoms.

1:10:36 Drew I shot this dude, but the gun wasn't pressed against him.

1:10:39 Adam Yeah. You think it got through?

1:10:40 Caller Did he hit the bullet or not?

1:10:41 Adam Or do you think that was my bullet that hit him? Yeah, you gotta get that emergency condom set up, Anthony. Yes, indeed, the risk may be limited with what you did, but there's a risk there. Why take that risk? Go ahead and have her take the pills, and that's the end of that.

1:10:55 Caller Rub-a-dub-dub.

1:10:57 Adam The next time, have her either on the pill or use a condom or prepare for the stuff.

1:11:01 Drew The next time I go back door. He was freaked out.

1:11:07 Caller He was trying to come out.

1:11:08 Adam It doesn't have to be cool. He was just freaked out.

1:11:10 Drew I know. I was having a good time.

1:11:13 Adam We need to educate the males about the plane of the vagina.

1:11:18 Drew Once you break that plane?

1:11:19 Adam Yeah, once that plane is broken.

1:11:20 Drew It's like the goal line, touchdown.

1:11:22 Adam Yeah, okay. So they can understand that. When a ball gets past the plane of the goal line, pregnancy ensues.

1:11:28 Drew Oh, but not your balls.

1:11:29 Caller That's going to confuse them.

1:11:31 Adam The football. In this case, the tip of the penis.

1:11:35 Drew Here's the deal, everybody. You've got to know yourselves a little better. We were going to wait until we got married.

1:11:41 Caller Yeah.

1:11:43 Adam But she got freaky. We got freaky.

1:11:44 Drew So I banged her on the top.

1:11:45 Adam Then we got freaky.

1:11:47 Drew I know you're going to wait until you get married, but you're making out. One thing leads to another, and something's going to happen. You get that morning after pill. Let's talk to Daniel.

1:11:58 Adam Daniel? Yep. 21.

1:12:00 Caller Yeah. Me and my siblings have been fighting for about eight and a half years now.

1:12:05 Adam Since you were 13?

1:12:07 Caller Yeah. Over what?

1:12:09 Caller I went to a juvenile hall, and I spent about four years in juvenile hall.

1:12:13 Adam For what?

1:12:15 Caller It's because it originally started with truancy, not going to school, and I was a dumbass, and I escaped from juvenile hall, and they charged me with felony escape. And I was in Colorado at the time, and now I'm in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and things are still bad between me and my siblings.

1:12:35 Adam And what does your being in juvenile hall have to do with the fight that's gone on between you and your siblings?

1:12:41 Caller Um, my brothers are kind of in the head.

1:12:46 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:12:47 Adam Sounds like old Daniel might be himself.

1:12:50 Caller Wow.

1:12:52 Drew Daniel, I'm just out of curiosity. How often do you hear the F word on the radio? And by the way, everybody, including Daniel, this, I don't like swearing on the radio unless I'm doing it, of course. But especially when it gets you no closer to an answer. When it, when a doctor says, what is wrong with your brothers, you saying they're F'd in the head is a non-answer. Unfortunately, we have to then re-ask the question.

1:13:27 Adam After a suitable period, just let the delay reset itself.

1:13:31 Drew Right.

1:13:31 Adam So he doesn't cuss again on the air.

1:13:33 Drew Okay. But I, I, I'm not so mad at Daniel for using the F word on the air. It's the fact that he used it describing nothing.

1:13:42 Adam But when do they ever use it in a way that helps the question?

1:13:46 Drew Once in a while, a guy is telling a story and he says he was pretty F'd up or something like that. And I'll go along with it. It's not malicious. But you, you telling us that the problems that your siblings are having is that they're F'd in the head doesn't.

1:13:59 Adam Doesn't help us.

1:13:59 Drew Well, oh, by the way, if that is the case, then there's nothing we can do about it, is there? I mean, if you're F'd in the head, what are we supposed to do?

1:14:07 Adam Right.

1:14:09 Caller Do we really have to talk to him again?

1:14:10 Drew No.

1:14:10 Caller I mean, we all know why his brothers and sisters hate him, don't we?

1:14:14 Drew I think we got a pretty good idea. I'll let Daniel just stay on hold for a while. What if I don't want to hold? I'll talk to him.

1:14:21 Adam Put Line 3 on hold, please.

1:14:22 Drew Terra, Line 3 on hold. Jonathan?

1:14:28 Caller Yeah?

1:14:28 Drew You're 14? Yeah. What's up? Um, alright.

1:14:32 Caller This is like the way I am.

1:14:34 Caller Um, I don't like guys that are players. I mean, I hate them. Like, one of my, like, oh, girls, like, she'll be my best friend. And she'll get played and I'll be so pissed because the guy played her.

1:14:47 Adam Yeah, so you're the nice guy. You're going to save him from all that.

1:14:49 Caller Well, kind of, but I'm not, like, I don't...

1:14:53 Drew Well, you'll be a player. You'll just be using your right hand.

1:14:56 Adam Well, he's also playing a different game.

1:14:58 Drew No, he's going to be playing a game too. Be playing with himself.

1:15:01 Adam No, he's going to be crouched like a lion in a bush.

1:15:04 Drew Yeah, but he won't get anything, so it won't matter.

1:15:07 Adam He might be the one, you know, the vulnerable.

1:15:10 Drew Well, you hate players. Yeah. Yeah?

1:15:13 Caller But I feel like I'm one now.

1:15:15 Drew Why?

1:15:16 Caller Because I have a girlfriend, but she lives nowhere near me, and it's like a long-distance relationship.

1:15:22 Adam Right.

1:15:23 Caller But we've talked a lot, and I love her. Like, I know what the meaning of love is, and I like her a lot.

1:15:30 Drew Sure you do. I do.

1:15:32 Caller All right.

1:15:33 Drew Well, look, here's the thing about love, too. I don't know why people get so involved with the defining of love. It's probably an ever-evolving thing. There's a kind of love that you're capable of having at 14, and maybe there's a kind of love you're capable of having at 24 and 34.

1:15:47 Adam Love between a husband and wife. Right. Father and son. Sister and brother.

1:15:51 Drew Don't forget the two women. That's my favorite.

1:15:53 Adam Okay, yes.

1:15:55 Drew All right, Janet.

1:15:55 Caller But the reason why I think I'm a player is because there's girls here, but I tell them I like them.

1:16:04 Drew Listen, you don't even have a learner's permit. You can't be a player. You need at least a learner's permit to be a player. It's in the player's handbook.

1:16:13 Adam The player's club handbook.

1:16:15 Drew You understand?

1:16:15 Adam Tell us about this on the cover.

1:16:16 Drew You got a bad teenage mustache and an erection all day and no driver's license. You just can't be that big a player. You don't have enough jewelry at this point.

1:16:25 Caller I know but is this...

1:16:27 Drew Alright, so you like girls. Break up with this long distance girlfriend of yours.

1:16:31 Caller Really?

1:16:32 Drew Yeah, where does she live?

1:16:33 Caller Palm Springs.

1:16:34 Drew That's too far for you.

1:16:36 Caller Really?

1:16:38 Drew What good is it doing you? You're fourteen.

1:16:41 Caller But then the girls I told I liked, I'm stuck and I don't know where to go.

1:16:46 Caller Because I'm like situated between like...

1:16:48 Drew Well, that's why you break up with this one in Palm Springs.

1:16:51 Adam And you make a choice.

1:16:52 Drew Yeah, what are you supposed to do with the one in Palm Springs? How often can you see her?

1:16:55 Caller Oh, she's supposed to come down here like I think in two days and then I'm supposed to go up there in a couple of days.

1:17:02 Caller Oh, really?

1:17:03 Adam How long have you known her for?

1:17:04 Drew That's pretty good.

1:17:05 Caller I've known her since a year.

1:17:08 Adam And you see her every week?

1:17:09 Caller No. We haven't seen each other for like a month.

1:17:13 Drew How do you meet her in Palm Springs?

1:17:16 Caller I used to go to the water park there a lot, at Oasis. And I used to see her there a lot.

1:17:21 Drew This kid's pretty damn mobile for a 14-year-old. How do you get there?

1:17:24 Adam From El Segundo to Palm Springs?

1:17:26 Caller I have a lot of friends. So I pay them like half my gas money, or half of it. And then we go up there and just party and stuff up there.

1:17:34 Drew Do you have parents?

1:17:35 Caller Yeah.

1:17:36 Drew Okay. All right. Sleep over there. Listen, I'm taking, I am making a player now. Don't get anyone pregnant. I don't know. Listen, stay with the 14-year-olds who's in Palm Springs. Who cares? Don't get anyone pregnant.

1:17:53 Adam Be honest with people, please.

1:17:54 Drew Really?

1:17:55 Adam Just be honest.

1:17:56 Drew If this guy's really got momentum with women and this chick's going back to Palm Springs, he's not going to be able to keep a relationship going with her.

1:18:03 Adam Probably not. But if he's honest, I have a girlfriend, blah, blah, man.

1:18:08 Drew Hailey?

1:18:09 Caller Yeah.

1:18:09 Drew You're 21?

1:18:10 Caller Yeah.

1:18:11 Drew What's up?

1:18:12 Caller I wanted to say first of all that I love you guys' show.

1:18:14 Drew Thank you.

1:18:15 Caller And...

1:18:16 Caller What happened?

1:18:17 Caller I wanted to... Your theory, Adam, on women who go to the Renaissance Fair and people who are wiccan, women especially, are overweight.

1:18:28 Drew Well the guys are just... You're fat. Guy wiccan? I don't even know about any...

1:18:32 Caller The guys are putrid.

1:18:33 Drew What about the guy wiccans? They just... They must just produce estrogen all day. I mean, they're not even guys, are they?

1:18:40 Caller No, they're not.

1:18:41 Caller No.

1:18:41 Caller But I'm a female, so that's the thing.

1:18:44 Drew You're female, wiccan.

1:18:45 Caller But...

1:18:45 Caller And I love going to the Renaissance Fair.

1:18:47 Caller I look forward to it every year.

1:18:49 Caller But I wanted to know, what is your theory on exotic dancers?

1:18:53 Drew Well, they're...

1:18:53 Caller What do they look like?

1:18:54 Drew Well, they're...

1:18:55 Caller Do your radio math for me.

1:18:56 Drew They're crazy normally, but they're in decent shape. Uh-huh.

1:19:01 Caller Do you know any personally?

1:19:03 Drew Uh, yeah. Why?

1:19:05 Caller Okay, because I wanted to disprove your theory on women who go to the Renaissance Fair and women who are wiccan. Because I'm wiccan, I love the Renaissance Fair, and I'm an exotic dancer. I'm an experiment rhino in LA.

1:19:19 Drew Right.

1:19:19 Caller And they don't hire, if you've ever been in there, they don't hire fat or ugly chicks.

1:19:24 Drew Right, right. The experiment rhino...

1:19:26 Adam They hire crazy ones, though.

1:19:28 Drew Yeah, you're crazy, though.

1:19:29 Caller But, see, I'm not crazy.

1:19:30 Drew Well, you're... no, you are nutty, so I do have one theory, right?

1:19:34 Caller I've put myself through school.

1:19:35 Drew Oh, listen, I've never spoken to a stripper who's not putting herself through school, or has even... or has graduated from school. They're all doing something with school. I don't know why. It's part of the stripper party line.

1:19:46 Caller Well, it is mostly for the girls who are dancing to guys, but...

1:19:50 Adam Right?

1:19:52 Caller It is mostly for the girls who... that's a line for the guys, for the customers.

1:19:56 Drew I'm going to school?

1:19:57 Caller Yeah.

1:19:59 Drew Yeah, that seems like the common ramp. Look, it doesn't matter. I don't... You know, as guys, and I want to say this to all strippers who may be listening, I don't care if you say that you're an axe murderer who's one step ahead of the law. I'm just as excited about the lap dance as you say that you're in your third year of grad school.

1:20:18 Caller But see, I'm not in my third year of grad school.

1:20:20 Caller I'm not going to lie. I mean, I've taken the basic GE courses and I'm lagging behind in school.

1:20:25 Drew Shocking. Do you do any speed?

1:20:28 Caller No, I don't. Actually, I don't do any drugs. All I do is smoke cigarettes. I don't drink. I don't do drugs.

1:20:32 Drew All right. All right, baby. Well, listen, here's the thing. All Wiccans are fat and the Renaissance people are mostly fat because they eat a lot of mutton.

1:20:43 Caller But see, I'm a vegetarian too.

1:20:45 Drew Well, see, that's going to be tough to be at the Renaissance Fair and not eat mutton chops.

1:20:50 Caller I go for the...

1:20:52 Drew Tournament?

1:20:54 Caller The ambiance of the place.

1:20:55 Drew Ambiance?

1:20:56 Caller Yeah.

1:20:57 Drew Are you a fat, drunken people or eat mutton?

1:20:59 Caller I'm a dancer. I like to let my d*** out.

1:21:01 Drew Oh.

1:21:02 Caller I got my nipples fierce. I got a great rack. They're not fake.

1:21:05 Drew All right. Hold on a second.

1:21:07 Adam Not crazy at all, though.

1:21:08 Drew Here's part of... Well, one of the... Criteria for crazy. Criteria for being crazy is not knowing you're crazy, but if you talk long enough, everyone listening will know you're crazy.

1:21:18 Adam That's called lack of insight.

1:21:20 Drew Is there anyone here that doesn't think Haley's crazy?

1:21:22 Adam Show of hands.

1:21:23 Drew Show of hands, anybody? She sounds nutty, right? But look. Hey, baby. I'm glad there's a thin wiccan. I... You know, it is counter...

1:21:34 Caller I'm not the only one, but...

1:21:36 Drew Yes. And it's because you're a stripper. You see, it is counterbalance. If you only did wicca, then you'd be 350 pounds. Okay. I'm glad you're aware that you're hot. I wish you knew how crazy you were though. People surely tell you that. They must tell you you're a little nutty.

1:21:55 Caller They actually don't. I'm one of the mild strippers that you'd meet. I mean, I give a hell of a lot dance. And everybody should come down and see me.

1:22:01 Drew Right. Okay. Nobody tells you you're nutty, huh? No.

1:22:04 Caller Actually, they don't. I mean, I ride horses. I'm in the process of going to school to be a horse trainer.

1:22:10 Adam Is there bipolar illness in your family? Are we? Bipolar in your family? That made the question?

1:22:14 Caller No.

1:22:15 Drew All right. Got them nipples pierced, though, huh? Are me? You got them nipples pierced?

1:22:19 Caller Yes, I do.

1:22:20 Drew All right. Looking good, baby. All right. Enjoy your work. Enjoy your life. Enjoy the work with horses. But here's the deal.

1:22:28 Caller Okay.

1:22:29 Drew I'm giving you... You're going to be a veterinarian?

1:22:33 Caller No. I want to be a horse trainer.

1:22:34 Drew Okay. How long do you have to go to school for that?

1:22:36 Caller It actually is a four-year degree.

1:22:38 Drew Okay. Now, how far into that are you?

1:22:41 Caller Like I said, I've just gotten through the basics of my GE. General education.

1:22:45 Drew All right.

1:22:46 Adam For high school?

1:22:47 Drew Junior college?

1:22:48 Caller Yeah. I took it at junior college. Then Cal Poly Pomona offers the equestrian program, the Kellogg Equestrian Program.

1:22:54 Adam Yeah. Our university offers a business degree too.

1:22:58 Drew All right. Good luck. Call us back when you get that degree.

1:23:01 Caller Okay. I do have one quick question for Dr. Drew. Yeah.

1:23:04 Adam Haley, what's up?

1:23:06 Caller Last February, I had a traumatic miscarriage as to where I had to have a DNC. The baby died but it didn't come out. I lost a lot of blood. I have continuous nightmares about this. I was wondering how long.

1:23:22 Adam How long would it happen? A year ago.

1:23:24 Caller This is recent February.

1:23:25 Caller It's past February. It's almost a year.

1:23:27 Drew How far along were you?

1:23:29 Caller Three months.

1:23:29 Adam Did they let you see the child or anything?

1:23:31 Caller No, I didn't.

1:23:33 Adam Did you have a depression afterwards?

1:23:35 Caller I was kind of just out of it for a while.

1:23:38 Caller I really didn't feel one way or the other. But now it hits me like oh, I want a baby really bad.

1:23:44 Adam Do you have post-traumatic stress from other things in your life?

1:23:48 Caller Not really.

1:23:49 Adam You've never had panic attacks or depression? No.

1:23:54 Caller I've had mild problems with depression.

1:23:56 Drew Your parents alive?

1:23:59 Caller Yeah.

1:23:59 Drew Everything good?

1:24:00 Caller Yeah.

1:24:01 Adam Well, it is a miscarriages and abortions. These do have a profound impact on both from the standpoint of the massive biological change you go through and the fact that there has been a real loss. And maybe even there's a biological component to that too, something you were attached to in some way. No longer there. You feel that loss. It takes a while. It takes many months sometimes to deal with that. If you're not getting over, you're still having dreams. If you're tending towards depression, you may want to talk to someone about that. It's just a concern. If you're okay otherwise, just having occasional dreams. It was a big event. It may not mean anything.

1:24:35 Drew I always like it when chicks are not fat and think that they're geniuses at the same time. Like, they should get huge points for not being ugly. Like, I should be retarded because I'm hot. But look at me. I go to junior college and I'm hot. And like animals, we'll be back. Hey there, hi there, ho there. I'm Adam, the True Bad Religion, coming in here tomorrow night, then 311, then next week, Robert Downey Jr. and Anthony Kiedis. That'll be an interesting show. Let's speak to Joshua Zatine.

1:25:17 Caller Joshua?

1:25:18 Caller Hi.

1:25:18 Drew Hey.

1:25:19 Caller I had a comment about what you just said about Renaissance people. About people being overweight in Renaissance?

1:25:27 Drew Yep.

1:25:28 Caller Well, I'm heavily into Renaissance, and I mean, I'm six foot and I'm only about 140 pounds.

1:25:35 Drew Well, first off, 18-year-old guys, listen, you stick with that Renaissance and they'll call me in 20 years. You'll fill out, don't you worry.

1:25:44 Caller I've been doing the Renaissance for about five or six years now.

1:25:47 Drew I'm mainly talking about the chicks, but what do you do with that Renaissance? How does that go?

1:25:52 Caller I'm a squire, part of the Queen's archers.

1:25:56 Drew Do you have an arrow?

1:25:59 Caller I actually haven't won the arrow yet, the bow and arrow.

1:26:02 Adam What do you get out of this?

1:26:03 Drew Do you get just an arrow as an archer?

1:26:07 Caller What was that?

1:26:08 Drew Do you get to carry a bow and arrow, don't you?

1:26:10 Caller Yeah, and I carry my sword and...

1:26:14 Adam What do you get out of this? What does it do for you?

1:26:17 Caller Oh, it's just a great experience. I think everybody should try it.

1:26:21 Adam Well, what does it do for you?

1:26:23 Drew Well, how does he know?

1:26:25 Adam I don't seem to be able to express it.

1:26:27 Caller I don't see much of what it does for me.

1:26:29 Adam Alright, well then I guess...

1:26:30 Caller It's fun.

1:26:31 Adam I won't be trying to.

1:26:31 Drew It's fun.

1:26:32 Adam Well, it connects you with historical past, gives you a sense of what it was like to be a part of it.

1:26:37 Drew It gives you a group to hang with. But as an archer, do you got a bow and arrow?

1:26:42 Caller Yes, I do.

1:26:43 Drew You do. And do you do like target practice and stuff?

1:26:47 Caller Yes, we do a lot of target practice with the group I'm with. We do sword fighting and a bunch of stuff.

1:26:54 Drew You know, whenever I see that jousting, it looks a little dangerous. Guys going at each other with the horse and then hitting each other in the chest with the mop handle and flying off the horse.

1:27:05 Caller Yes, it is pretty dangerous, but we train a lot for it.

1:27:10 Drew All right, and what do you work your way up to, the guy with the gold narrow?

1:27:14 Caller If you're the highest shooter, you win the gold narrow.

1:27:19 Drew Listen, I don't know anything about the Renaissance Festival, but that sounds like some guy takes you in the back and rapes you.

1:27:26 Caller You just won it.

1:27:27 Adam Gives you the gold narrow.

1:27:28 Drew Son, you won the gold narrow. Now lift up that frilly 15th century skirt and let me show you. Put that in your pouch. All right there, buddy. How many times a year do you do that?

1:27:42 Caller Oh, well, I do at least 15, 20 times a year.

1:27:45 Drew Okay. Are there any chicks there you can pick up?

1:27:48 Caller There's a lot of chicks there, but I bring my girlfriend with me, so.

1:27:53 Drew Oh, okay. Is she not a big gal? Huh? She's not big?

1:27:57 Caller No, she's not.

1:27:57 Drew All right. You keep her away from that mutton and ale.

1:28:01 Caller Yeah.

1:28:02 Drew And whatever else they eat. What else do they eat over there? I can't think of anything else. Do they have, like, they have archers, the Queen's archers, do they have, like, plague victims and stuff? I can see myself being like a plague guy, showing up, wearing, putting my, like, painting my face black and just sitting and drooling. August?

1:28:23 Caller Yes.

1:28:24 Drew Year 20?

1:28:25 Caller Yes.

1:28:26 Drew Is there any, well, let me read your questions. Any way to tell if you have a CCR5 receptor?

1:28:33 Caller No, if you have a truncated CCR5 receptor on the CD4 lymphocytes.

1:28:38 Adam You want to see if you're immune to HIV?

1:28:40 Caller Yeah.

1:28:41 Adam Why do you want to know that?

1:28:43 Caller I was just actually just curious about it.

1:28:45 Adam Yeah, well, no commercially available test for that yet, and I'm not sure that you can reliably say you're immune to. There are cofactors they're finding that help people be less prone to the infection of the HIV, or perhaps to cause the virus to develop into a state that's not considered active infection.

1:29:02 Drew Augustin strike me as a high-risk guy anyway.

1:29:04 Adam No, no, no.

1:29:05 Drew I'm guessing he's not doing a lot of intravenous drugs or banging a lot of Haitian hookers. Just a guess. We'll be back. Well, there you have it. Another episode of Loveline, safely to bed. Bad religion in here tomorrow night, and it'll be good to talk to those guys. We haven't spoken to Greg and company. Oh, I'd say well over a year. So, until next time. All right, but you just drew quite a lot of shows in it. So until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahala. All right, you know, I love you, buddy. And your penis.

1:30:02 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, December 4, 2001