Episode 1000754886211

1:02 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. LoveLine, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's LoveLine. I'm Adam Corolla, that's Dr. Drew, Dr. Drew, board-certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Tonight, our guest is Ken Baker. Ken Baker is the author of a book called Man Made. Now, this is Drew's booking.

1:33 Drew Yeah, this was my pick.

1:34 Adam Not that I got a problem with Ken, but Drew, where did you come across Ken?

1:39 Drew We had a mutual friend who's a writer, and she recommended this book. I was sort of going off about male-female issues and how people have this crazy notion that men and women are biologically the same, and it's all the culture that makes the differences. She said, do you know how to read this book, Man Made? It's about a friend of mine who had a pituitary tumor that caused his testosterone production to be shut down for many, many years when most guys are in testosterone storm, the guys we kind of talk to here in the show, Adam.

2:07 Adam When does the testosterone start kicking in? Is that puberty?

2:11 Drew Later in puberty, yeah.

2:12 Adam Later in puberty?

2:13 Drew Yeah, like 14, 15.

2:14 Adam Do you have testosterone as a 12-year-old?

2:17 Drew Yeah, but it's mostly, these are the things actually produced by the adrenal glands. A lot of the sex hormones actually come out of the adrenals initially. That's why you get those breast development.

2:27 Adam But here's what I'm asking, and can you jump in because you've probably done some research here, right? A little bit. Do all men have testosterone in them from the word go? At some level?

2:39 Drew Yes.

2:39 Adam You have some?

2:40 Drew Yes.

2:41 And women?

2:41 Adam Of course, and women too. Men more than women at age 10?

2:45 Drew Men can respond to it more than women. Our receptors are more geared up for it.

2:50 Adam All right. Then around puberty, the testosterone production kicks in. That's part of puberty.

2:57 Drew It's game on.

2:58 Adam Is that puberty or is that just a part of it?

3:02 Drew That's puberty. Let's see what the dimension.

3:03 Adam Does the testosterone cause the secondary hair growth, as you like to say, and the voice change and that sort of thing?

3:10 Drew The voice change, but the hair growth initially is actually, again, an adrenal thing.

3:13 Adam Okay, so the puberty kicks in, or the testosterone kicks in, and all of a sudden, you have... Now, when does a man have his most testosterone? Is it at 18?

3:24 Drew I would say that's about right, 1822.

3:26 Adam And you start basically dying at 30?

3:29 Drew Here's puberty, the condition of being or the period of becoming first capable of reproducing sexually.

3:35 Adam So with that...

3:36 Drew To have a produced sperm.

3:37 Adam Producing sperm.

3:38 Drew That's testosterone.

3:39 Adam Okay. All right. So anyway, Ken did not have the testosterone kick in. Is that what the case was?

3:48 Well, what happened was I was just a pretty normal kid. Just always playing sports and was interested in girls just like any other young guy, like 12, 13, 14, 15. But then when I was 16 or 17, I just started noticing a difference. Well, first of all, my body was zero hair on my body. Not zero, but not that much. I wasn't as into the chicks and everything as the other guys. I definitely wasn't gay.

4:13 Drew You weren't overcome by it the way the other guys were.

4:17 Right. But I liked girls and that was what I was into. But it was more like intellectually, like I didn't just want to go out for the sport of it.

4:27 Adam Well, you're still concerned about the cootie factor like you were at 11, where guys learn to get past that with testosterone trumps the cootie factor.

4:35 Right. And then when I was on my 17th birthday, I tried to lose my virginity. I had a girlfriend and it was going to be the night I'd lose my virginity and went up to this hotel room in Toronto. And the whole production, like the candles, the whole thing. Of course, I just want to get over with.

4:51 Adam Right.

4:51 And I just couldn't get it up.

4:55 Adam Right.

4:55 It wasn't going to happen. And I was just so bummed out.

5:00 Adam But had your penis worked correctly before that?

5:06 It would take a little bit of manual assistance.

5:08 Adam Right. But you'd wake up in the morning with an erection.

5:12 It wasn't going crazy.

5:14 Drew You were masturbating seven times a day.

5:16 No, no. Yeah, that's the thing. I just wasn't hyper-sexed out. At that age, I felt like most of the guys were. I grew up playing hockey and that's all the guys talked about.

5:25 Drew So you're 17 or 18 now, right?

5:27 Caller 17.

5:28 Drew How many times a day were you masturbating? Seventeen.

5:31 Adam Well, I could only break it down into six-hour periods.

5:36 Drew How many times?

5:37 Adam I couldn't go that high. I was basic math in high school and algebra.

5:41 Drew Okay.

5:42 Adam This is about 46 times in quarterly, daily quarterly, that would be six-hour increments. So whatever that math is.

5:50 Drew A little different.

5:50 Adam I didn't know what that was.

5:51 Drew Ken had a different experience.

5:53 Caller I would eventually catch up.

5:54 Adam You had confidence enough in your penis that you planned on losing your virginity.

5:59 Caller Right.

5:59 Adam Okay. But it didn't work and now what?

6:02 Caller Well, of course, I don't want to think about that because as a guy, I mean, you're thinking, all right, I don't want to think about it. Let's just do it. I eventually did have sex occasionally, but it wasn't something I really wanted to do. I had to be roped into it. I mean, I don't mean any pun there. But I had to be coerced a little bit. And I went into college. I went to Colgate University. I was also on a hockey scholarship, and so women are sort of, for whatever reason...

6:34 Drew Was your sports performance, did you notice?

6:36 Caller Well, not at 17, 18, not really, but 19, 20, near the end of my college career, totally. I just wasn't as quick as I used to be. I definitely wasn't as strong.

6:46 Drew How about aggressive?

6:48 Caller Yeah, I was very passive. That was just generally my personality.

6:51 Adam Well, you say as quick as you used to be, but isn't it more the case of the other guys who were essentially on steroids and you weren't?

6:58 Caller No, guys, in the hockey world-

7:00 Adam Not on steroids, but I mean-

7:02 Caller Natural steroids.

7:03 Drew Oh, yeah, yeah.

7:04 Adam You were as quick as you were, but they'd gotten faster because of this adrenal stuff that was going on.

7:08 Drew Testosterone.

7:09 Adam Testosterone. Right. And you didn't get any. It's as if everyone on the league was on the juice and you were just drinking yoo-hoo.

7:17 Caller Yeah, completely. So on the ice rank, I was totally at a disadvantage. Then in the realm of dating, I mean, talk about complete evolutionary disadvantage. I just did not have the mojo. Women could sense it. I wasn't emitting these pheromones. I mean, it just wasn't going on. Now, I wasn't thinking, oh, there's something wrong with me. I have some tumor or something. I just was thinking, I'm just a dork. I mean, really, that was sort of what I was thinking.

7:45 Adam Well, there's enough of them around.

7:47 Caller Right, that I could easily be one of them. I just accepted it.

7:50 Adam Blame your parents like I do.

7:51 Caller Right.

7:53 Adam I mean, my parents blame me. Your parents. I mean, like everyone to blame my parents.

7:57 Mom, I'm so mad at you.

7:59 Adam I am so mad at you, mom. That was from a play I did in high school. All right. So anyway, go ahead, Ken.

8:08 Caller So, I'm going on. Eventually, it's safe to say I didn't see any action in college. But it didn't really... It's not like I was... You know, it's worse when you're not seeing any action and you really want it in some ways.

8:26 Adam Yeah, like the guys are in prison.

8:28 Caller Right. Exactly. So I...

8:29 Drew You were until you were 35.

8:31 Right.

8:32 Adam 35 and a half. Right.

8:34 Caller And so I just sort of was cruising through life, just thinking, well, eventually I'll... What ended up happening was when I was with a girl, and it would happen, you know, you're college, jock, all that kind of stuff. But girls would approach me and I'd sort of like, okay, you know, you got to do something. But it wasn't innate. It wasn't like I was seeking it out. I was just like, all right, I have to do this.

8:55 Adam You're like trying to act like a guy would act.

8:57 Caller Exactly. Play the dude role. I just time after time, I would just not be able to get an erection. And it came to the point where I just avoid it. I just wouldn't want to deal with it at all.

9:10 Adam Well, let's fast forward a little bit here. And because I know Drew's got an angle on this, and I'm guessing, so you went ahead, eventually got checked out and you realized you had this tumor, right?

9:22 Caller Yeah.

9:23 Adam But how does this affect, I mean, what have we learned from this, I guess is the question.

9:30 Drew What was it like when his testosterone turned back on again?

9:33 Adam Oh, okay. Well, there you go. Yeah. Right.

9:35 Caller Well, sort of what happened, an important part of the story that I can't leave out, is that as I got older, I definitely, my body was just starting to betray me. I'd have hips sort of, I was flabby. I just, it was so frustrating. I mean, I had no metabolism.

9:50 Adam And then one day, I was, you know, And you were working out and stuff, right?

9:53 Caller I was trying, yeah. In fact, I ran a marathon. And this is when I was like 23.

9:57 Adam You won the women's division, right?

9:59 Caller I tried to enter, but what happened was, I, at the end of the marathon, my nipples were killing me, really badly. But I was told to expect that, because it's what happens when you run and your blood. Right. But with me, I looked down, I remember I opened up my shirt and I felt so much pressure. Like, I'm just feeling it right now. I can almost feel what it was like, the pain. And my instinct was to squeeze it, like a zit. There's pressure in there. And out came this milky, white kind of, whoa.

10:29 Adam You were pregnant?

10:30 Caller Well, actually, what's interesting is I would later find out. And even at that point, I didn't go to the doctor. I was just like, man, I'm not running a marathon again.

10:38 Adam Whoa. That's logical. Most of our listeners and callers would do that.

10:46 Caller But I didn't get any help. But what I would find out eventually when I was 27, I finally went to a doctor. This girl urged me. She's like, you're sick, physically sick, that you need to get help. And I went and I found out that I had 150 times the normal level of this hormone called prolactin.

11:05 Adam Right.

11:06 Caller And prolactin is the hormone that women secrete to produce breast milk.

11:10 Adam Wow.

11:11 Caller Right. Now, it does a ton of freaky stuff in guys. All right. If you have an elevated prolactin level.

11:16 Drew Amongst them, which is shutting down your testosterone.

11:18 Caller Yeah. And I mean, I had, my level was 1,578. A woman who's pregnant is like 150.

11:27 Adam Wow.

11:27 Caller So it was just insane.

11:29 Adam Well, it's kind of a testament to your, I don't know, ability or spirit or something that you're able to, you know, play hockey at a collegiate level with, you know, essentially pregnant.

11:44 Caller Well, it was a struggle. I mean, I had to work really hard by the, again, no pun intended. I don't know why it keeps sounding like that. But by the time I was a senior, I just was frustrated. I almost didn't want to come back my senior year, but they were paying for my education, so I did. And I retired, and I just didn't want anything to do with it, because it was frustrating, because I was in the Olympic development program. I'd go to all the Olympic camps when I was young, and it was just sad to see my skills deteriorate. And so that aspect of my life, I just shut down. I'm going into journalism, because then you could just be a slug.

12:19 Adam Drew, hold on. I may have this. Maybe I have this. Could be. I might have this. You could be. I was a real kick-ass football player at the Pop Warner level.

12:30 Drew Yeah, but we were four, eight, no, ten.

12:33 Adam I was pretty good all the way through grade school, junior high, and then I got to high school. It was a little crappy, but then I came back and I was good later on. And then I got to college and I sucked again, and I should be better.

12:47 Drew Yeah, but there's that whole masturbation thing that keeps going. That would have been shut down by the pro lactum by now.

12:52 Adam Oh, would have?

12:54 Drew Yeah. Napping goes with it. It's good.

12:57 Adam Really? So I may have something after all?

12:59 Drew Let's check. I'll do some blood work on you.

13:01 Caller Do you have bad headaches?

13:03 Adam No. I don't use my head. It just sits there.

13:09 Drew Let's take some calls, and then next second we'll talk about what happened, because the really interesting part is when testosterone turned back on again. How different, what really men have to deal with that is so different than 27 state raping spray? Absolutely.

13:23 Adam All right. Allison?

13:25 Oh, yeah. My question is for Dr. Drew. I wanted to know if I use my mom's postmenopausal cream, like that yam progesterone stuff, if my breasts would get bigger.

13:36 Adam Yam?

13:38 Yeah.

13:39 Drew Is this an over-the-counter estrogen thing?

13:41 Yeah.

13:41 She bought it at a health food store or something.

13:43 Drew Probably not. Are you using it as an intravaginally?

13:47 No. You're supposed to put it around your stomach or thighs, like your soft parts of your body.

13:52 Drew I can't imagine it would do that much.

13:54 Adam Why don't you say yam?

13:55 Drew Because it's a phytoestrogen from plants.

13:58 Adam Oh. And she got it at a health food store? Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't work.

14:01 Drew No. Phytoestrogens actually do have some activity, but I don't think anything through the skin is going to do much.

14:06 Adam Nothing at the health food store works. That's what I found out.

14:09 It wouldn't work.

14:10 Drew Again, you can go on birth control pills and experiment that way and see if it makes your breast bigger. Because if anything would, that would be it.

14:16 Adam What size are you?

14:17 34B. It's like average.

14:20 Adam Yeah. That's fine. You want to get to a C?

14:23 Yeah.

14:24 Adam Well, you have to go on that birth control.

14:25 Yeah? Yeah. All right. Oh, and Adam, if you ever leave the country and go to Tokyo, you can get porn and vending machines there. I read in a magazine.

14:33 Adam Fantastic. What kind of change do they take? So they just bring a whole sock full of quarters and nickels?

14:38 And quarters, I don't know.

14:40 Adam Yeah. It's hard to get porn in this country.

14:42 Okay.

14:43 Adam All right. Thank you. There's something very exciting about the vending machine. We get real excited about it. You can get a cell phone, you can get porn, you can get kids. All we can get is Doritos. But if you really break it down, how glamorous is the vending machine?

15:02 Drew Just a store with glass over it.

15:04 Adam I'm all right with the concept of going into a place and buying some porn or buying a cell phone. I don't need to feed 80 bucks worth of quarters. You know what's funny is cigarette machines now, now cigarettes are like five bucks and that's at the 7-Eleven. So the vending machine, they're like six bucks. Yeah. There's no increment bigger than a quarter yet. So it's like 24 quarters. You want to buy pack of smokes out of a cigarette machine, it's like you're literally, it's like playing a slot machine.

15:33 Drew They don't take the dollar, they must take dollar bills.

15:36 Adam Some do and then it'll spit out change. Sometimes they give you change, sometimes that part's broken. But you're just literally feeding quarters. Like you could probably quit smoking by the time, by the time and you lose count, you're like got 21. Wait a minute, where am I with these quarters? Let me say, remind me to talk about following and how to properly follow somebody when you're in a car.

16:01 Drew At some point.

16:02 Adam Yeah, I get angry about this.

16:04 Drew Every night.

16:05 Adam No, but you know, you know when you say, especially your dad, you go, you go, follow me. I'm going down the hill, I'm going over, just follow me. You're going 36 miles an hour and you're looking in your rear for you and the guy's about 400 yards back there, and there are other cars sliding in. This is how I know I have testosterone because I'm screaming, I'm yelling, hey jackass, follow me. So you start slowing down, but they seem to slow down too, and you're like, what goddamn part of follow me? How conky or confident can you be? You don't know where we're going. I can't even see you now. My dad will do this, but other people do this. They follow you. Then you get to that light that only you're going to make now, and now you're pissed because now you're cutting across traffic and you're pulling over, and you're waiting now while this person pulls up. You got to wait for the light to cycle, and inevitably there's somebody pulling out of the gas station that you stopped in front of the driveway and people are turning right, and getting caught behind you, and thinking, can you just follow me? How difficult is that? You guys know what I'm talking about?

17:17 Caller Oh, yes. It just happened to me on the way over here.

17:19 Adam Thank God.

17:20 Caller My friend was following me. She was actually trying to follow me, and I was losing her.

17:25 Drew There's another version of this. When you're 17, your girlfriend, or some girl you like, tells you to follow her. Then you're six inches away from the back of the car.

17:31 Adam You are, yes. You are, because you understand the concept of following somebody. My dad, when I tell him to follow me, he is four, five thousand yards.

17:45 Drew There is a whole thing.

17:45 Adam A CIA marksman could not hit his windshield with a 30 at seven.

17:50 Drew There's a whole thing we get into about tailing etiquette. How far do you go behind someone? How fast do you come up behind them?

17:57 Adam Here's the deal. You don't leave so much space that three other cars then slide in. Now you're looking in your rear and you got someone else following you. And then, now what do you think this guy does? Now when a guy slides in front of him, does he give him 300 yards or is he in fact just 30 feet behind the car in front of him? Just get behind. And it's not as if, it's not like I'm pulling e-brakes and sliding around corners with the hubcaps rolling off, it's not a Starsky and Hutch thing. I'm going twice as slow as I normally do and I'm being twice as cautious as I normally am and I'm totally cognizant that somebody is behind me and I'm still 250 yards ahead of them. Now what is that? Is that, I say it's passive aggressive. I say they're saying F you and you're follow, follow you, follow me, kiss my ass. I don't follow anybody. That's what that is. Is that what it is? That's got to be. Whose brain, who do you have to explain following to any more than follow me, we're going to a destination that you don't know of so stay close. No, can't handle it. Jesus Christ. I'm going to kill these. All right. It happened today. It's horrible because you're yelling at the mirror. You're looking up the mirror and you're screaming at it. Then like I said, when you miss that signal and got to pull over, it's like, all right.

19:19 Drew Here we go.

19:20 Adam Where were we?

19:21 Drew Simon, 35. Simon?

19:24 Hello.

19:25 Drew Hi, what's going on there?

19:26 Hi, Adam. Dr. Drew. Ken, how are you? Good. This is my question for Dr. Drew. This has been happening over the last year or so. When I get an erection, my testicles rise up into the base of my penis, so they're on each side of it, which is not a big problem in itself.

19:46 Drew The landing gear kind of action.

19:47 Yes, exactly. But then when I have intercourse, they start banging into the pubic region.

19:55 Drew So you're crushing them each time you penetrate.

19:58 Exactly right. So I'm wondering if there's any way to get them...

20:01 Drew Wait, wait, Adam's trying to picture this. Come down. They go up into here, and he goes in, pow.

20:07 Adam Right.

20:08 Exactly. So now is there any way to get them to swing a little bit?

20:11 Drew You can push them down with your fingers and with your thumbs. They shouldn't hurt. They'll drop back down.

20:16 Adam How about not letting them come up? How about a little zip tie?

20:19 Drew Yeah, the cremasteric muscles pull them up, and that's a normal reaction.

20:23 Adam You put a hoop there too small for them to jump through, and it would make a C-ring?

20:27 Drew Huh? Many people have it happen at ejaculation. It doesn't happen usually that intensely to most people. I would say no, that's kind of an unusual thing, but it's physiologic. It makes sense.

20:38 Adam How? You wouldn't tear anything if you just didn't let them come up. I mean, you wouldn't get into some kind of tug of war that would rip something up.

20:46 Caller You can clamp them or something.

20:47 Drew I can't recommend somebody tying a rubber band around their testes, and it's like you have a gelding on your hands in a few hours.

20:52 Adam Your balls fall off. Yeah, I remember that from 4H or something.

20:57 Caller But aren't there toys, some rings that you can print on anyway?

21:01 Adam Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

21:03 Drew Adam has a series of stores out there. Lava lamps and C-Ring, remember?

21:08 Adam Yeah. I was going to open that up, but it fell through. Our financial backers in Zurich fell off. They found out what C-Ring was. But anyway, yeah, couldn't one-

21:19 Drew Simply, simply lava lamps.

21:20 Adam Simply lava lamps and C-Rings were in their call. But couldn't one just put a loose fitting ring on there that would not-

21:29 Drew Like a rubber band. Yeah.

21:30 Adam No, not like-

21:31 Drew Like a loose rubber band sometimes. I don't know.

21:33 Adam Okay. Hold on, son of tard. What is a loose rubber band going to do?

21:40 Drew It's not going to be a rubber band this, but you have to-

21:44 Adam It would simply stretch the rubber band out and make its way back onto its course.

21:49 Drew It's pretty- You're going to have to experiment. No one's going to-

21:52 Adam A loose rubber band is not going to work.

21:54 Drew What are you going to use?

21:55 Adam You're going to have to use something that doesn't have any give in it, but that would clamp on and stay in its shape. Let's just say you had like a notebook binder ring, the snap ones. What if it was something about that size? They'd probably go through one at a time. They might not work. Zip tie, one of those electrician things, things like cheap handcuffs to cuff you.

22:18 Drew Can you imagine if they just pulled one couple of cranks too tight? Seriously, it just seems dangerous to me.

22:23 Adam All right.

22:23 Drew Eric.

22:24 Hello?

22:24 Drew Eric.

22:25 Adam Eric, you're 15.

22:27 Caller Oh, 13?

22:29 Drew 15.

22:30 Caller Oh, 15. I thought you said 15. I actually got on. That's pretty sweet.

22:33 Adam Yeah, for you. It's hell for us.

22:37 Caller Um, I have, first of all, my voice.

22:39 Adam Yeah.

22:40 Caller Can you tell?

22:41 Adam Yeah.

22:41 Caller It's pretty bad. I'm 15. I'm a guy.

22:43 Drew Right.

22:44 Caller A lot of people make fun of me, my brother especially. I can't stand that, but I just let it go. I think I have to get the last word and stuff.

22:50 Adam Hold on a second. Hold on a second. You pansy. We got to take ourselves a little break, and then we'll get back. Now, I don't know what his problem is. Something with his voice? Yeah. His seizures?

23:01 Drew I don't know. But did your voice never change, or did it change and then go back?

23:04 Caller My voice went deeper after I had my surgery to remove the tumor, and there were a lot of changes, actually.

23:11 Adam Ken Baker is our guest tonight. He is the author of Man Made. Now, he did not produce testosterone, and don't correct me if I'm wrong here until his senior year of college, and knows what life is like to be on both sides, and is going to tell us when we come back, and what happened when the testosterone did kick in, and how that affected him. And I'm going to talk for about another 20 minutes on how to follow somebody correctly. There really should be a class. 300 yards. Listen, if you can't see the guy in front of you, you may not be close enough. OK, we'll be back.

23:58 Caller Loveline, I'll be right back.

24:24 Adam Yeah, Loveline. I'm Adam. Dr. Drew over there. Ken Baker, the testosterone makers are guests tonight. He wrote himself a little book called The Man-Made. Drew found Ken on Oprah?

24:41 Drew No, through a mutual friend. I write an article for USA Weekend, and Jennifer Mendelson is the journalist that helps me with that.

24:48 Adam When do you write that USA Weekend?

24:50 Drew I write it in the middle of clumps here and there, and she created Ken Baker.

24:55 Adam How did she do that?

24:56 Caller She claims she discovered me, which is actually true.

25:00 Adam Well, Ken, for those of you who missed the first segment, was not producing any testosterone his whole life, or very little, until his senior, somewhere around his senior year of college. She was a hockey player, and sort of wondering what was wrong with him, with the milk coming out of nipples and love handles, and no erections, moody, sitting around eating hog and dogs and crying all day.

25:28 Caller Watching beaches.

25:30 Drew Well, you weren't having-

25:32 Caller It was true, actually. I was more emotional.

25:35 Drew But you weren't having the estrogen effects, though.

25:37 Caller Yeah.

25:37 Drew You just weren't blunted.

25:39 Caller Well, actually I was. My endocrinologist over at Cedars-Sinai, really great doctor, he explained to me that when you have a really elevated level of prolactin like that, you have an estrogenic effect, is what he called it. And I totally felt that. I mean, I was definitely more passive. I was always like the good friend that girls would be like, oh Ken, you're so easy to talk to, you're such a good guy.

26:03 Adam Well, like when you were playing hockey and somebody came up and laid a hip check in you and put you into the boards, did you have, I'm going to kill that guy feeling? Or did you have, his parents must have been rough with him? I mean, I'll forgive him.

26:19 Drew I'm going to go talk to my friends about this.

26:20 Adam I'm going to try to break through to him.

26:22 Caller Well, I'll tell you that I, well, first of all, I'm a goalie, so I take the abuse mostly.

26:28 Adam Right.

26:29 Caller But you know, it's a very aggressive physical position. I mean, you have to be, you have to have a lot of hormones pumping to want to stand in front of 100 mile an hour speeding trucks.

26:38 Adam Well, actually, I'm sorry to cut you off, but I did, I'm rethinking my question, which is women are actually more violent than men in a retribution sort of way. Like, if a man is in the kitchen with his wife and they're fixing a meal, and the woman steps on the man's foot, the man will be like, ho, ho. But if a man steps on a woman's foot, she just whack him, she just smack him right in the face. It's quick reaction stuff, and they don't think about it.

27:07 Drew Somebody pisses her off, she'll never forget it. A guy will swing back, get it out of his system, and then it's over.

27:13 Adam I find that women will, if you mistakenly hurt them or injure them or knock them or whatever, that's what kids do. The kid's arm will just go flying and whack his little brother or whatever, when he's on his foot, not get off of my foot. So I guess it doesn't take testosterone to do that.

27:33 Caller Well, before my surgery, first of all, I quit hockey. I didn't want anything to do with it. I really got sick of it, like the fighting and all that stuff. I really was not into it. Sure. And then after the surgery, I picked the sport back up. And actually, I was telling Drew earlier, I'm playing pro hockey now for my next book in Bakersfield, California. And this morning, we were at practice this morning.

27:56 Adam Right.

27:56 Caller And I was sort of joking, but I dropped the gloves and I started sort of sparring with the guy because he was shooting pucks at my head.

28:04 Adam Right.

28:05 Caller And I was thinking, I would never do that before.

28:08 Adam Like even in a even in joking fashion.

28:10 Caller Yeah. It's aggressive.

28:12 Drew It wasn't in him.

28:12 Adam Yeah.

28:12 Caller It was just sort of the ogre.

28:14 Drew Isn't that interesting?

28:15 Adam Yeah.

28:15 Caller It's when it comes out.

28:16 Adam How about using one of those old school, you know, Jason type hockey mass with like the Cobra on it or something? I'd get killed.

28:23 Caller Now we use those like Felix Potvin ones. That's what I have. You got the little bit of the cage in front, but it's all fiberglass.

28:31 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I like the old ones with the, you know, the mongoose or something sprayed on the front. I mean, it's skull and crossbows. Yeah. Those were the cool ones. How many years did those idiots play with no mask?

28:42 Caller Oh, I know.

28:43 Adam Just about 75 years.

28:45 Caller I can't imagine.

28:46 Adam I swear to Christ. I'm going to write a book called, Why Didn't You A-Holes Think Of This Earlier?

28:54 Drew Not just to play the hockey, but...

28:56 Adam No, everything.

28:57 Drew Yeah, the seat belts.

28:58 Adam I go home, and I watch the SpeedVision, and I watch the 1955 Indianapolis 500. No roll bar! These guys are going 165 miles an hour. And it's like, well, no seat belt. Well, because we got an accident. You don't want to be stuck in a car, get your head taken off. It's like, how about bending a piece of steel? Couldn't handle that? Couldn't figure that out.

29:24 Caller I just thought of one the other day. The squeeze bottle for mayonnaise. Why stick?

29:29 Drew They have them. They have them.

29:30 Adam Oh, they got those.

29:31 Caller No, they have those.

29:32 Adam It took a while.

29:33 Caller But it took a while.

29:34 Adam Well, listen, I can't figure out how we were like, we had guys on the moon and we're using a rotary phone to talk to them. You know, it's like weird. Certain stuff should have come before other stuff. The roll bar should have come before the B-17. You know what I mean? We got 20,000-pound payloads and turrets that are spinning around and machine guns and all this World War II technology yet couldn't figure out the roll bar in 1947.

30:06 Drew Well, that's a pussy to have a roll bar.

30:08 Adam That's what I think. That's what I think. A hockey mask, it was another, it was a pussy. They didn't want to be pussies. I could have figured out the helmets and the mask.

30:15 Caller Well, even now, the guys don't wear cages or visors. Most of them don't and they totally get whacked in the face all the time.

30:22 Adam And they don't, and I always say this too, they don't cinch up that chin strap. So their helmet falls off before their head whips and wax the ice. Why not, why do you got to hang that chin strap down like it's a bucket handle? That's what I'm saying. It's bravado. Cinch the thing up. Be a pussy and keep your brain. That's what I say.

30:41 Drew Be safe, be a pussy.

30:43 Adam Hi, I'm Adam Corolla. You know, I play pussy on the radio. When it comes to, Eric?

30:49 Caller Yeah.

30:49 Adam All right, so you're 15.

30:50 Caller Yeah. My voice wasn't my real question. My eyes have those. I had seizures.

30:56 Adam Right.

30:56 Caller They're not really seizures. They're like multi-seizures.

30:58 Adam Well, what caused your voice to be the way it is?

31:01 Caller I have no idea. I play football and all that. It's just my voice. I have no idea why.

31:08 Adam What position do you play?

31:09 Caller Linebacker, inside.

31:11 Adam All right. Is that Mike or Baker? What do they call you? You know, they got the different names?

31:19 Caller I...

31:20 Drew Yeah, no.

31:20 Adam Just trying to trip them up. That's all right.

31:22 Caller I have no idea what you're talking about.

31:23 Drew What's the question? What's the question, buddy?

31:27 Caller When I've been really tired sometimes, and I start to fall asleep and like that, and I wake up like that, and I turn on the TV, and all of a sudden, I kind of pass out. When I wake up and I start dreaming something, it's like a daydream that you can't wake up from, and then you finally wake up.

31:41 Drew Right. That may be another seizure phenomenon.

31:45 Caller Because, you know, it's really weird, because one time I had one of those, and all of a sudden, I felt like something on my body, and I looked up, and it was like somebody's head, and I woke up again, and I was like, and I just went to the bathroom and threw up, because I was like so scared. I was like...

31:59 Drew Well, again, the night terrors are typically, you wake up, you feel paralyzed, like you can't move anything. Yeah, that's exactly what I feel. And there may be a dream incorporated into that where you actually see things holding you down and that kind of thing, but it is a form of a seizure phenomenon. If you have a seizure disorder, you're known to have that and you have these, you ought to talk to your doctor about that.

32:18 Adam What's he going to do about his voice? He sounds like Felix the Cat.

32:22 Caller No, you want to hear something really funny is I can make my voice really deep.

32:26 Adam Oh, go ahead, go ahead.

32:27 Hello?

32:28 Adam Wait a minute.

32:29 Caller I'm like a recording.

32:30 Adam He's got to be screwing around.

32:32 Drew If he isn't, I want to know. I want to understand this.

32:36 Adam I think he's possessed.

32:38 Go ahead.

32:39 Adam Do the low voice. Do the low voice again. Hello? But keep it going.

32:44 Yeah.

32:46 Adam Go ahead, ask your question.

32:49 Caller I'm going to ask you another question.

32:51 Drew There he is.

32:52 Caller How do you think about the-

32:53 Drew The mason jar.

32:56 Football season this year. Adam?

32:59 Adam Okay. I think it was just an example of a question to do in a low voice.

33:04 Drew I think he was just using the voice to hide the-

33:06 Adam Do you think he's screwing around with the high voice?

33:08 Drew Yes. I think he was just trying to disguise himself a little bit.

33:11 Adam Well, the high-

33:11 Drew The question was legitimate. It was a reasonable question.

33:13 Adam Okay.

33:14 Caller All right. But if his voice is high maybe and he's having these seizures, I mean, there could be some tumor or something affecting him, right?

33:23 Drew He wouldn't be able to do this low voice if he-

33:25 Adam He wouldn't?

33:26 Drew No.

33:27 Adam Why? I can do the high voice.

33:29 Hey, Rocko.

33:30 Drew You got to have a certain coarseness to deliver that low voice. That's his real voice. It's the master cylinder. If that isn't his real voice, he should use the lower voice in his standout life.

33:42 Adam What were the other Felix the Cat? There was-

33:43 Drew Master cylinder, rock bottom.

33:47 Rock bottom.

33:48 Drew Professor.

33:49 Professor.

33:51 Drew What was the octopus?

33:51 Adam Professor who?

33:52 Drew Just the professor.

33:54 Adam The professor.

33:55 Drew Poindexter.

33:55 Adam What did you do to my bag of dregs?

33:57 Drew Poindexter.

33:58 Adam Yeah.

33:58 Drew What was the-

33:59 Adam The master cylinder is a brake component.

34:02 Drew Yeah.

34:02 Adam It ruins it later on in life when you really figure out what a master cylinder is. It sounded really good when you were a kid. The master cylinder. Then you freaked out later on in life when the Midas guy tells you blew out the master cylinder.

34:15 Drew Yeah, you need a master cylinder.

34:16 Adam You're like, oh no. Cindy, that was a retarded cartoon.

34:24 Drew Oh, I mean, it was like depressing. It's like we used to amuse ourselves with flip cards. Yeah.

34:30 Adam Felix, okay.

34:31 Drew Have you watched those now?

34:33 Adam Whenever he gets in. Cindy?

34:36 Hello?

34:36 Adam Year 30?

34:37 Yes.

34:38 Adam What's up?

34:39 My husband cheated on me last year. We got back together, but now I feel like I'm having nightmares about it.

34:47 Drew Do you feel like you're having nightmares about it?

34:49 Adam Or you are?

34:50 Well, no, I am. But it's just been the last week.

34:53 Drew Tell us about this cheating. This was a single episode or did he take off with this woman or what happened?

34:57 No. It started at the beginning of last year and I didn't find out till the end of April.

35:02 Drew So it wasn't just like he cheated, he had a girlfriend?

35:05 Yeah.

35:05 Drew All right.

35:06 Adam Hold on. We got to take a break. You do?

35:09 Drew You've never taken this break on time before.

35:11 Adam Well, it's good.

35:12 Drew That's fine.

35:13 Adam Okay. But here's what I'm saying. I'd like to get into this a little bit, Cindy, and take a couple of minutes with her and find out all about this cheating and how she's never going to let her husband forget it, and how it's going to make her miserable and all that good stuff. Ken Baker is here. He's the author of Man Made. He has an interesting story about what it's like to lead a double life.

35:38 Drew We spent a lot of time trying to get people to recognize the reality of the influence of testosterone to the young male and how young males think, why they think that way, and there's resistance to it. Women don't want to hear it, but Ken will tell you the story.

35:51 Adam We'll be back.

35:53 Caller LoveLine, LoveLine, we'll be right back.

36:31 Adam Hey, y'all, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Ken Baker's our guest tonight. Ken Baker is the author of Man-Made. That's a nice belch there.

36:43 Drew Which reminds me.

36:44 Adam Yeah.

36:45 Drew I just got a message from the system of a down on my beeper.

36:47 No, no, check it out. Bugger, bugger, check it out, check it out, bugger, bugger, bugger.

36:53 Adam Yeah.

36:53 Bugger, check it out.

36:55 Adam Hey.

36:55 Check it out.

36:56 Adam Tara.

36:56 Caller Bugger it out. You want to?

36:58 Adam Yeah.

36:58 Drew Come get this number off of here and call him.

37:01 Adam Who called?

37:01 Drew John.

37:02 Adam All right. Well, we got a little call from system of a down. All right. So anyway, Drew.

37:09 Drew Let me write this number down.

37:10 Adam Don't be distracted. We'll go to commercial in a minute. We'll get this all taken care of. Don't get weird. Drew's got a weird, you got some kind of spazgine. You got the anal producing tumor. Seriously, producer Anne comes in here and she'll go, you guys got to read these liners. She'll do it in the first hour and it'll be like, I'm Adam, that's Drew, listen to. Drew will be like, come on, what are you doing? Let's do it. Let's get it done. Let's get it done. He starts yelling at Anderson to think, Anderson, what are you doing? Let's go. Anderson will be like, we'll do it next break. Drew's wigged out until we do it. He's such a slave.

37:47 Drew I am a taskmaster. What's interesting though, that's as turned down the volume gets on that kind of task mastering. You should see it when I really want to get something done. Well, I've never exposed you to that.

37:58 Adam Good.

37:59 Drew You drive it in your mind.

38:00 Adam As long as we don't see each other socially, we'll be fine. So anyway, Ken has authored this book that really explains what it's like to have your testosterone turned on later on in life as an adult.

38:12 Drew What does testosterone do to the male psyche, quite literally, and system?

38:17 Adam So you had your testosterone turned on at what age? Twenty-seven. Was it night and day or did it slowly creep in?

38:27 Caller It was immediately dirty.

38:30 Adam It just flew right in.

38:31 Caller I was interested in porn. It all happened at once.

38:36 Adam Really?

38:36 Caller I used to go to the magazine rack, and I would say, oh, New Yorker, Christian Science Monitor. National Review.

38:44 Adam Then all of a sudden, it was porn.

38:46 Caller Yeah, penthouse.

38:47 Drew He's standing masturbating in front of them.

38:51 Caller I'd always look at the guys at the magazine rack and say, oh, poor guys.

38:56 Drew What's wrong with them?

38:57 Caller All of a sudden, I'm one of them.

38:58 Adam Well, let me ask you this. I mean, obviously you want your testosterone, but there is a certain slave master relationship we all have with the testosterone, whether it's the pornography or the aggression or some guy cuts you off on the road and you're going after him now. I mean, you can become sort of a slave to it.

39:18 Caller Well, I went through an adjustment period for sure. What happened was I was diagnosed with this tumor. It's the size of a chestnut, right on my pituitary gland, which is about two or three inches behind your eyes.

39:29 Drew It's right above your optic chiasm. Were you having vision problems, too?

39:33 Caller Fortunately, I wasn't because it grew sideways. It didn't grow out. And so I was fortunate. But a lot of people do get blurry visions. In fact, it's a symptom. If there's anyone listening, it feels like, I might have this. If they have blurry vision, the tumor is probably pretty sizable.

39:46 Drew Ordinarily, parts of your field are out. You're hitting your head when you get out of the car.

39:48 Caller Outside your peripheral.

39:49 Drew Yeah, you can't see a tennis ball all of a sudden when you're trying to swing forward, that kind of thing.

39:52 Caller Right, right. And so within two weeks, they put me on medication. It took about six or seven months before I had the surgery. They want to try to shrink it with medication and it didn't work. But I went on this medication and my prolactin level went from 1600 down to like 100 in about a week. And I mean, literally, I actually even broke out with acne like all over my body. Like I never had acne growing up because, you know, just shut off. I didn't have the whole process. I had this, I remember going to my doctor's, I couldn't stop thinking about sex. And I was like, I go to the mall and it's just like, whoa, 50% of the population I've been missing out on for the last 10 years. You know, I go down to the beach, which drives me crazy.

40:35 Drew But it's bothersome, right? It's like an irritation.

40:37 Caller It was total hindrance. I couldn't concentrate. It was complete.

40:39 Adam And what about, I don't know, did you eat more red meat? Did you drink more beer? Did any of that stuff, watch more football or hockey?

40:49 Caller Yeah, I became, I got back into sports. I totally had gotten out of sports, like competitive sports.

40:55 Adam And didn't your doctor warn you that you'd turn into an animal? Like David Banner in The Incredible Hulk?

41:01 Caller Well, he didn't want to. He wanted to get my hopes up because you never know what's going to happen. So a week later, I go in, I'm like, Doc, what's going on?

41:08 Drew He starts laughing.

41:08 Caller Yeah, he's like testosterone storm. And you're welcome to manhood kind of thing. And I was like, wow, this is tough. But there was no handbook. You know, there's no one saying, well, this is how you don't act like a jerk and cheat on your girlfriend. And I had to learn all that stuff. Right. But no, I just noticed an overall difference, not only in how I behaved, you know, more aggressively and, you know, just sort of always scoping out like that old, that predatory male thing. Like you're always like, whoa, checking out girls. I mean, I wasn't really-

41:38 Drew You're like scumming.

41:39 Caller Yeah, I was very visual. I was always sort of, I mean, just overnight it happened like that. And it was amazing to me. And I also noticed how women treated me differently. I mean, I became, you know, in certain situations a woman would approach me and be attracted to me like more than ever before. And I was, you know, you don't turn that stuff down.

41:59 Drew But some of it may be a little bit of a feedback loop too. They send something out, you respond to it. They send something more out, you respond again.

42:05 Adam Yeah, you, not only, your antenna may have been bent and you've not, were not picking up their signals before because-

42:11 Caller Right. Well, that definitely happened. I write in my book, I mean, just, there are so many encounters with women where I was like, oh, let's just go out on a date, go out to dinner. And they're totally thinking it's going in some direction. I'm being all nice to them. And then I would get to the end of the night and they'd want to sleep with me. I'd be like, no thanks, because I don't work.

42:26 Adam Right. You just want to BJ. Oh, I see. This is before the-

42:31 Drew Did it change your preferences?

42:32 Adam Not true.

42:33 Drew Sexual preferences?

42:34 Caller What do you mean?

42:35 Drew Well, he likes BJs. I mean, did some- How dare you bring my thoughts to this?

42:39 Caller Yeah, I went from nothing to I want to do everything.

42:41 Drew Everything. So there was no like, didn't focus on something. It's just interesting, I think.

42:46 Caller I just appreciated everything about women, and I realized why men are so obsessed with it. But what I write about in the book is, sort of what happened to me was, the way I looked at it was after about a year or so of trying to figure out what's going on, just adjusting to the transformation. I realized that getting rid of the tumor sort of allowed me to be male as I was meant to be. The heterosexual, functioning, hormonally normal male that I'm supposed to be. But it didn't necessarily make me a man. And I sort of had that insight where that everyone sort of comes here, or you hope they do, eventually, that there's a difference between being a man and being male. And being, manhood is, well, maleness is sort of the shell. But manhood is the soul of a person. And that's what sort of drove me to write about it, not just to say, hey, look what I went through, but listen, there's a difference between just being a dude and, but being someone with integrity. And cause it's, you know, guys were sort of wired to just go out and.

43:50 Drew Pee on everything.

43:51 Caller Yeah, exactly. Or to procreate, you know, with every, whatever you can.

43:57 Adam Spread that seed. Yeah, so speaking of seed spreaders.

44:02 Drew Cindy had one of those.

44:03 Adam Cindy married one. Cindy?

44:05 Yes.

44:06 Adam So you're 30. Your husband cheated about a year ago. He essentially had had an affair.

44:13 Caller Yeah.

44:14 Adam And we've been married for 11 years.

44:17 Caller Yeah.

44:17 Adam And so he had this affair at sort of year nine or 10 of your marriage.

44:22 Caller It was, well, yeah, yeah, because it was just last year.

44:25 Drew And so you got back together. You've been doing fine. Yeah.

44:29 Caller Well, not really. We got, he moved back home.

44:33 Drew My question is, Cindy, why is this all of a sudden bothering you now? Why hasn't it been bothering you since you got back together with him?

44:38 Caller No, it has been bothering me.

44:40 Drew Are you guys getting...

44:40 Caller I just keep trying to work it out. We have two, we've been together for a long time and we have two kids.

44:45 Drew How are you trying to work it out?

44:47 Caller Um, we tried therapy.

44:49 Drew What do you mean, what does that mean?

44:51 Caller Going to therapy to try to resolve all the issues.

44:53 Drew How many months did you go for?

44:55 Caller Um, a month and a half and he didn't want to go anymore.

44:59 Drew So you went for, what, four sessions?

45:02 Adam Well, it could have gone a few more.

45:04 Caller No, we were going twice a week.

45:05 Adam Oh, okay. So he kind of, he never wanted to go, he just knew he had to go because he got busted.

45:11 Caller Yeah.

45:12 Adam And so after, after about, you know, eight or ten sessions, he figured he'd done enough, right?

45:17 Caller Well, he just figured he was getting beaten up too much.

45:20 Adam Yeah. Well, who, now, who did he cheat with?

45:23 Caller A person that worked next door to us. We worked together and she worked next door.

45:28 Adam I see. And how did you find out about it?

45:33 Caller A friend saw him with her.

45:35 Adam Okay. And when you confronted him, did he fess up?

45:38 Caller Yeah.

45:39 Adam Oh, that's pretty good.

45:40 Drew But then he took off with her, right?

45:42 Caller Right.

45:42 Adam He took off with her?

45:44 Caller Yeah.

45:44 Adam And what brought him back?

45:47 Caller He said that he didn't like, he said that he missed his family.

45:51 Adam Okay. And that included you, I guess?

45:55 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

45:55 Adam All right. So, you're angry, you're angry, and he doesn't seem like he's completely repented.

46:02 Caller He doesn't want to talk about anything, even though I don't want to talk about what happened between him and her.

46:07 Adam Right.

46:08 Caller And what happened then. Right. He doesn't want to resolve any of the things that are happening now in the real world.

46:12 Drew Which are what?

46:13 Adam Her being pissed about him not talking about it.

46:16 Drew And him.

46:17 Caller No. No, like he lied to me a couple of weeks ago, and that upset me that he lied to me.

46:22 Adam What did he lie about?

46:24 Caller He, it was so stupid, he said that he went, he came home and said that he had gone to dinner with friends, and then the next day he said, well I didn't, I went fishing with a whole bunch of friends.

46:33 Adam All right.

46:33 Caller Well, why did you lie about it?

46:35 Drew Well, he's an asshole, basically.

46:36 Adam Well, no, and also he's not sure what to do now.

46:40 Drew He's an asshole.

46:42 Adam I don't know.

46:42 Drew He should be on his best behavior.

46:44 Adam Are you kidding? Hey, that's why I lied.

46:47 Drew Well, he should be behaving properly, not behaving as he wishes and then lying about it.

46:52 Caller It's also one of those male-female differences things. Women will never forget about what happened, but a guy wants to move on and just sort of-

47:00 Adam A guy just sweep it under and keep moving. Listen, we got to go to break, but Cindy, I don't know what to tell you.

47:06 Drew Go back to therapy.

47:07 Adam All right, well, go alone then. If he doesn't want to go, just go alone and work on it because you're angry and you don't really need him to work it out with you.

47:14 Drew He really sounds like an idiot.

47:15 Adam No, I don't think so. He's just a guy.

47:19 Drew He takes off and this girl leaves the two kids behind.

47:22 Adam All right.

47:22 Drew Things aren't working out at all.

47:24 All right.

47:24 Adam We'll be back.

47:26 Caller All right, guys.

47:26 Caller Bottom line, here's the deal.

47:28 Looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

47:31 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:32 Call the Dateline.

47:33 Drew 877-889-DATE.

47:39 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

48:20 Adam Hey, everybody, it's LoveLine. I'm Adam, that's Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE191. Ken Baker's our guest tonight. Ken is the author of Man-Made. Ken had himself a tumor for many a year, went undiagnosed, never had the testosterone kicked in, and basically knows what it's like to coast through puberty without coasting through puberty.

48:45 Drew He knows what it's like to be a chick and be a dude.

48:47 Adam That's right.

48:48 Drew This is living proof of nurture, nature being much more powerful, or at least a major issue as compared to nurture.

48:56 Adam Well, one of Drew's jags in life is he hates it. I think this movement has been dropped or lost a little momentum. But I could remember growing up with a hippie mom saying, look, we give boys these little guns and we give girls the dollies and maybe the boys want to play with the dollies and maybe the girls want to play with the guns. And left alone, 50% of the females would pick up a gun and 50% of the boys would pick up a doll. But that's just more brainwashing nonsense from the 70s.

49:32 Drew There was a crazy move in the 70s that we are, all of us equal, no differences.

49:37 Adam We're all the same.

49:37 Drew One just has a uterus, one has a test tube. And we're just a blank palate, a blank slate upon with the culture of society.

49:43 Adam Well, not the culture.

49:44 Drew Society, the man.

49:45 Adam The man. The man forces us to do this.

49:50 Drew We were talking off the air before the show started about a young male whose penis was basically cut off in a circumcision accident. And they raised this child as a female, actually made external genitalia of a girl.

50:00 Adam This is a crazy story.

50:02 Drew And at 13, this kid starts flipping out because he is attracted to girls and wants to be physical and all the stuff you are describing. You cannot deny the profound effects of biology. It is just stupid.

50:16 Adam Well here is what I always yell at all those people who talk about the man and society. I always ask them, how did it get this way? Do you know what I mean? Why is it?

50:27 Caller It is like that for a reason.

50:30 Adam How can you argue with the end results? How come guys like fast cars with big engines and and toting guns and military and they like watching boxing and women like watching figure skating? Why is that? Did somebody make this declaration at the dawn of civilization that this is, let's tally it up, who is going to be interested in what? I mean, my thing is, your argument is fundamentally flawed because look around. I mean, we don't question it in any of the animal kingdoms. There's, there's, there's inherent male traits and there's inherent female traits. We don't look at who forced them to take on these stereotypical roles. We understand this is all part of nature. And I don't understand. It's sort of, it's sort of supreme narcissism to think that we don't fall under the same guidelines and rules as a species.

51:23 Caller Like we're in, we are in.

51:24 Adam I should write a book.

51:25 Drew Please.

51:26 Adam I'm gonna write one.

51:26 Drew I'll write the foreword. Speaking of narcissism.

51:32 Adam How dare you. Priscilla?

51:36 Hello?

51:36 Adam You're 16?

51:38 Caller Yes, hi Adam, hi Drew.

51:39 Drew Hey, what's up?

51:40 Caller Oh my god, I love you guys. Yeah, um, and K-Rock, K-Rock and Super-S-Saiyan number one. Okay, you guys are cool. Anyways, for about two or three weeks now, I've been having like this gooey, clear substance come out of my vagina.

51:59 Drew Are you sexually active?

52:01 Caller No.

52:01 Adam That came out of Ken's nipples when he, when he hit the wall, the 20th mile wall on the marathon.

52:08 Drew Are you on any medication?

52:10 Caller None.

52:11 Drew Are you on any antibiotics in the last couple of weeks?

52:13 Caller Actually, yes, because I keep getting sick.

52:16 Drew Yeah. That's probably a yeast infection from all the antibiotics. Is it kind of itchy too?

52:20 Caller Yeah.

52:20 Drew There you go. So get some over-the-counter yeast cream, some monostat or something and try that. Okay?

52:26 Caller Okay.

52:26 Drew You're not sexually active, it's pretty hard to get a real infection up there. You can. There's other bacteria that can overgrow. If the yeast cream doesn't take care of it, talk to your doctor, there's something called Metrogel Cream that will take care of it.

52:36 Caller Okay.

52:37 Adam All right.

52:37 Caller All right. Thanks.

52:38 Adam Good times. What's that mono stat? What's stat mean?

52:42 Drew Right away. Fast.

52:44 Adam Yeah. Like stat like in the ER and one, what's mono? One?

52:48 Drew Mono, wait a minute now.

52:49 Adam What does that mean? Figure that out, Drew. Jeremy? Yeah. Is that the stat that means fast or is it short for statistic?

52:58 Drew No, it means fast.

52:59 Adam Is stat short for something?

53:01 Drew It was probably like an acronym for some Latin words. But no one in the last 40 years has ever uttered them.

53:07 Adam Hey Jeremy? Yeah. What are you, 15? What's up?

53:13 Yeah, in the past three weeks I've been taking acid at least two times a week. I was just wondering what the effects of it are in the long run.

53:23 Drew If you raise Jeremy, I'm afraid they can be quite profound. There can be personality changes, permanent mood disturbances. It really can be a mess.

53:31 Adam How much acid? Six times in three weeks?

53:34 Drew Twice a week for three weeks, right?

53:36 Yeah, around there.

53:38 Drew Yeah, if you're lucky, you'll dodge a bullet here and it won't hurt you, but I have seen some just, I mean, I've seen devastation from 15, 16-year-olds doing acid.

53:47 Adam So could you stop doing that, please?

53:50 Oh, yeah. And another thing was, is a friend of mine told me that if you take ecstasy and drink alcohol with it, it can like totally destroy your brain stem. Is that true?

54:02 Drew It can do it without the alcohol, but you're actually doing something that is probably more toxic.

54:07 Adam The acid? Yeah, the way you're doing it. Does the booze screw up the ecstasy?

54:13 Drew Not that I'm aware of.

54:14 Adam Yeah, I never heard that either. Hey, Jeremy? Yeah. Here's the problem at 15. First off, your brain is pretty durable, but it does come back to sort of bite you in the ass. And you don't want to spend an hour looking for your keys when you're 28. You know what I mean? Yeah. And not only that, but just the general sort of mixing the drugs and experimenting with the drugs and doing the drugs. At 15, it means you're going to be in pretty bad shape at 20. Not only from the effects of the drugs, but you're going to be strung out. And maybe 20 would be a long-range thing. I'd guess more like 16 and a half or 17. It's a good time to stop. Because the thing is, is you can now. But a couple years from now, you may not be able to. It really, really messes you up.

55:08 Caller All right?

55:09 Adam So give that some consideration. And look, I'm not telling you this because I read a book. A lot of the guys I grew up with, almost most of them ran into some trouble with this. And they ended up getting clean. Most of them, if it didn't kill them, they ended up getting clean in their late 20s, early 30s. But that's a pretty good chunk of time that was lost. Relationships, prison time, job failure, you know, all that stuff. Now why go through it? Why not just stop now when it's easy? Instead of just freaking out and having to go to rehab, you know, 15 years from now. All right?

55:47 Caller All right.

55:47 Adam All right there, buddy.

55:49 Caller All right. Take it easy.

55:49 Adam All right. I'm not sure if that's part of his plan to quit it.

55:53 Drew I know. Last one I saw was doing Big Time Asset at 15. I caught him about two years into it. He's probably down a hundred hits. And he what struck me aside from the fact that he was, I mean, you could barely communicate with him. He was profoundly impaired. His personality had changed drastically, but he could put his pants on, kept trying to put his pants on backwards. Oh, like that. And he couldn't figure it out. Couldn't like didn't.

56:15 Adam What was that? What was that band? Rerun? No. Kid n Play? No. What were those two little black kids? They wore their pants backwards.

56:25 Caller Oh, they did that song.

56:26 Adam Chris Cross? Chris Cross. There you go.

56:28 Caller I didn't really know that.

56:29 Adam Thank you there, Anderson. Big Chris Cross fan. Huge Chris Cross. And a big Christopher Cross fan as well. He loves all the Chris and Cross bands. Yeah, Chris Cross.

56:40 Drew Who's Christopher Cross?

56:43 Adam They put the pants on backwards. Now, he's just saying that to try to save a little face.

56:47 Caller No, I really, who's Christopher Cross? He must be young.

56:49 Adam Sailing takes me away.

56:53 Drew He won a bunch of Grammys in 81, maybe.

56:56 Adam He wrote that. He had that Arthur theme song. He had a bunch of hits. Anyway, I said, Drew, what are you saying? Pants on backwards?

57:05 Caller Can you recover some function?

57:07 Drew Yeah, but they're never right.

57:11 Adam Dennis?

57:12 Caller Hey, guys, how's it going?

57:13 Adam Good, you're 22. What's going on?

57:15 Caller Well, first off, I just wanted to give you guys both your kudos. Drew, I really respect you. Actually, last year I watched Mars, Venus, even though it wasn't so great. But just because you were on it, I watched it. But I would love to see Bo and Sam and Rondell and Christina on LoveLine one night. I think that would be a little fun to hear them come into your world a little bit.

57:35 Drew That would be fun.

57:36 Caller My little brother is at USC and I hear that you do something at USC. So I was wondering what he needs to get addicted to to find his way into you. I'll tell him to get addicted to something.

57:46 Drew I occasionally go there and talk through the student health services and whatnot. Okay.

57:51 Caller Could I find that on drdrew.com or something?

57:54 Drew Yeah. Or just call Student Health Services and see if I can set something up.

57:57 Caller Yeah. I'm at the University of Toronto, so I didn't even know that I had a connection with your guest tonight. But hi, Ken. Are you from Toronto or?

58:05 Caller I'm from Buffalo, New York, but grew up playing hockey in the Toronto area.

58:09 Caller Okay.

58:10 Caller Almost all the guys on the hockey team I play for now are from Toronto too.

58:13 Drew Oh, yeah.

58:14 Caller Cool. Well, I'm a big hockey fan.

58:15 Drew How did you end up up there?

58:18 Caller My dad got transferred here from New Jersey about 10 years ago.

58:22 Drew Are you listening to the show up there?

58:24 Caller Well, yeah.

58:25 Caller I listen to it on the Internet.

58:26 Drew Oh, interesting.

58:26 Caller Real audio.

58:27 Caller Yeah, it's kind of a struggle, but I record all the shows.

58:30 Adam Wow.

58:31 Caller I love the show. I think it's great and I really enjoy it.

58:33 Adam Wow. How are we on the Internet?

58:36 Drew I can't argue.

58:37 Caller There's a few. Let's see.

58:38 Drew Portland.

58:38 Adam Oh, all right. Listen, I don't care. What's up there, Dennis?

58:46 Caller I want to tell you guys know for your TiVos. I know you love your TiVos. I actually run, besides going to school, I run a small business.

58:53 Drew You run a what?

58:54 Caller I run a small business on the Internet. What we do is we upgrade the TiVos to have up to 300 hours capacity. Instead of the 20 or 30 hours you guys have, we can get them up to 300 hours. How do you do that? Well, you add more hard drives and you have to do software work. But because you guys are you guys, I would love to give them to you for your hard work.

59:14 Adam Well, listen, get Dennis' number off the air and we'll talk because I need more time on the TiVos.

59:21 Caller Let me ask you guys my question.

59:23 Adam Please.

59:24 Caller Twofold. First off, I really want to be a lawyer. I really want to go to law school desperately. But I'm having so much trouble getting motivated to go to class. No matter, I know that I have to get grades to get into law school. I know that I have to work my butt off. I know all this. And I actually enjoy class when I get there. But there's like some sort of block that is keeping me from showing up at class. And I just can't do it. I mean, when I can scrape by, I get my sixties and seventies in classes. But I know I can do better if I would just show up at the lecture.

59:57 Drew Where does this law school thing come from? Where did you get that idea?

1:00:00 Caller Well, I really don't know. I've kind of wanted to. I enjoy politics. I enjoy debating.

1:00:09 Adam Well, what do you care, Drew? He wants to be a lawyer.

1:00:11 Drew Because I would bet that somebody sort of...

1:00:14 Adam He doesn't have a passion.

1:00:15 Drew He doesn't have a passion. His father wants him to do something like that. He's not bought in to something that somebody else conceived of as a synthesis of your skills and your desire. But if you really came upon your passion, I bet you would just... It would self-stop.

1:00:27 Adam Sort of.

1:00:27 Drew Maybe.

1:00:28 Adam Is somebody pushing you in that direction?

1:00:30 Caller Well, I don't know.

1:00:32 Caller Actually, after I said I wanted to go to law school, my mom decided... My mom had always taken care of us, but now my brothers are grown up, and I'm pretty grown up. So my mom actually started at law school. So I'm kind of trying to follow in her footsteps. But I think I had the idea first.

1:00:48 Adam All right. So no Jewish dad. That's what you're asking.

1:00:54 Drew Who's a Jew?

1:00:55 Adam That's what you're saying.

1:00:57 Drew Was that the bubble over my head?

1:00:58 Caller Yeah, I saw that.

1:00:59 Drew You saw right through me.

1:01:00 Adam The Jews, they're one of the few... I think the Jews and maybe some Asian cultures are the only folks that push their kids into stuff.

1:01:07 Drew Pick the profession for them?

1:01:09 Adam Yeah. All the people I grew up with, their parents just wanted the F out of the house. That's their biggest dream. My biggest professional goal for you is, get the F out of the house and don't ask for money. So I hope you do something. Well, I don't care what you do. I could have announced I was going to be a porn director just as long as I did it out of the house.

1:01:28 Drew I suspect that Dennis just needs to find... I would expect if he found something in politics or something really turned him on, that would be it.

1:01:34 Caller Yeah, if you're doing what you love, then you'll just... It won't even feel like work.

1:01:38 Adam Yeah, but the thing is, it's not inherent in the win. No, what am I thinking of? Yeah, you're not up there... I was thinking of to kill a mockingbird or something. You're not up there arguing for the Supreme Court. You're taking a statistics class and it sucks. Yeah. So it's hard to get it up because it's not what you want to do.

1:01:58 Drew There is some of that early on in college, but he's 22 now and you'd think that he'd be sort of self-started and stuff. But, Tarek, get his phone number, Dennis. Trust me.

1:02:07 Adam Dennis, line three. Not because you want to help him.

1:02:09 Drew I want to talk to him.

1:02:10 Adam You just want a few more hours on your TiVo. Josh? Josh?

1:02:16 Drew He's asleep.

1:02:17 Adam Oh, is he?

1:02:20 Let's listen.

1:02:22 Adam I don't hear him snore.

1:02:23 Drew All right.

1:02:23 Adam Put him back on hold. Let's speak to Shauna. Shauna? Yes? 22. What's up?

1:02:32 I have a question about some birth control pills.

1:02:35 Drew Yes.

1:02:35 I've been on them for about two and a half months now.

1:02:38 Drew Which ones?

1:02:40 Two and a half months.

1:02:40 Drew Which pill?

1:02:42 Orthotrycycline. And I've lost a lot of weight since I've been on them.

1:02:47 Drew That's interesting. Usually people gain on that one.

1:02:50 Because, well, I've actually lost about 19 and a half pounds.

1:02:53 Drew On purpose or do you think because of the pill?

1:02:55 I think because of the pill.

1:02:56 Drew Interesting.

1:02:57 Because usually every time I try to gain weight or lose weight, I gain it. And I've been having trouble eating certain foods since I've been on them.

1:03:07 Drew Like what?

1:03:09 Chocolate, for one. Every time I eat it, I feel sick.

1:03:14 Drew That's interesting. Chocolate is a xanthine.

1:03:17 Adam What is that?

1:03:18 Drew It has a stimulant property to it and I could see where that might trigger some discomfort. Yeah.

1:03:22 I was just wondering if it was because of the pill.

1:03:24 Drew Yeah. I mean your body basically thinks it's pregnant when you're on the pill. The nausea and food intolerance, that kind of thing can be a side effect.

1:03:31 Adam All right. Well, that's good though, right?

1:03:33 Drew Yeah.

1:03:34 Adam I mean, you want to lose some weight. You lost some weight. There's some stuff you can eat, but it's all right. It just makes you fat. So, fine.

1:03:44 Okay. I have another question.

1:03:46 Drew All right. Here we go.

1:03:47 Adam Why does everyone have such a crazy cadence in this life, you know?

1:03:52 My boyfriend is 21 and I'm 22. Yeah.

1:03:54 Drew Thank you.

1:03:55 And he's out in Arizona right now. He's going to school.

1:04:00 Drew You're in Oregon.

1:04:01 Yeah. And last time he was down here, he was down here for four days on Thanksgiving. And the last time he had sex was when he was like 18. And we didn't have sex because neither one of us were protected.

1:04:16 Drew Yeah.

1:04:16 So we decided against it. But we did do some foreplay.

1:04:21 Drew Get to the question. I'm not sure I needed to know that he was down four days over Thanksgiving to answer your question.

1:04:27 Well, I'm going to go see him again in May. And I know that it's been a long time for him and me both. And I was just wondering, like, if there is a way to where, you know, he won't orgasm so fast when we do have sex.

1:04:42 Adam Is this a problem of his?

1:04:44 Yeah.

1:04:45 Drew He needs to know.

1:04:46 Adam Well, that's, that's, but that's, whether you're in town or out of town, that's still a problem.

1:04:51 Drew It's not like he's not orgasming since he last saw you.

1:04:55 Yeah.

1:04:55 Drew Okay. He's still orgasming in between, believe me.

1:04:58 Well, I just like, I don't want him to come too fast.

1:05:01 Drew Yeah.

1:05:01 Well, what is it?

1:05:02 Caller Austin Powers, Margaret Thatcher, In the Rain. Yeah.

1:05:06 Drew Maybe just, you know, plan on having more than one encounter with him.

1:05:10 Adam Yeah. You may just have to sort of get the first one over with. All right.

1:05:14 Drew First two, even.

1:05:15 Adam First 10 over with. Yeah. Just, I don't know, why don't you call them up and tell them to, you call them up and give them a little sex talk and he'll probably start beating off. Call him from the airport before you come over. Figure it out. I don't care. I don't know why.

1:05:32 Drew You know what? Interesting about the stuff Ken's talking about tonight, there's an anthropologist out there that believes that women on the birth control pill are subtly influenced, not even so subtly, that their sexual behaviors change, their receptivity to men change, and that if you give, like in a troop of chimpanzees, you give all the females pills, their relation to the males changed rather dramatically, and that us keeping all the women under the influence of these hormones may be changing the anthropology.

1:05:57 Caller How does it affect their sex drive?

1:05:59 Drew It's variable. I think that's why this can't be very easily ascertained. Some women it goes up, some it goes down. In the monkeys, it made the women sort of non-receptive and not as interested in the guy. And the male, the dominant male, would start getting more aggressive and masturbating more. Which Adam, you're sort of an interesting commentary on your life.

1:06:19 Adam Yeah.

1:06:20 Drew Maybe that's what's happening here.

1:06:21 Adam What about the feces flinging, what's that?

1:06:24 Drew That's all part of it, yeah. Napping.

1:06:26 Adam It's all coming together. It's all falling into place. At least I have an answer.

1:06:31 Drew Strangely, the males are peeing in buckets.

1:06:33 Adam I cramped in a decorative popcorn tin, which is nowhere near the same as peeing in a bucket.

1:06:39 Drew We peed in the bucket too. Well, in your living room.

1:06:43 Adam Oh, that was an ice bucket. I thought you meant a common pail. No, no, no, my friend. This is a silver gilded ice bucket was very nice. I couldn't make it to the bathroom. I was skipping rope. I don't have to justify myself to you or anyone else. I like when people throw the anyone else in there as if there's other people listening, you know, when you're having your conversation. I think they do that in soaps to include the TV audience. I don't have to justify my actions to you or anyone. I like that. I would always just cut them off. Just me, good enough. Not interested in everyone else.

1:07:24 Caller Watching soaps could be a pituitary tumor symptom too.

1:07:27 Adam Oh, yeah. I mean, you did watch. Did you watch?

1:07:30 Caller Yeah, yeah. In replacement of the sports.

1:07:33 Adam Yeah, I used to watch a little Dynasty on a Friday night when I was at one of my lowest points in life. But I think that I was just sort of wallowing in my own depression at that point. Greg? I didn't actually enjoy the cry.

1:07:44 Hello?

1:07:45 Adam Yeah, you're 22.

1:07:46 Caller Oh, yeah. I read Man Made.

1:07:48 Adam You did?

1:07:49 Caller And my name is Greg Dow, Mr. Baker. I took you on the e-mail.

1:07:56 Adam Yeah. Hey, how are you?

1:07:57 Caller I'm fine. Oh, sort of.

1:08:00 Drew Why sort of?

1:08:01 Caller Well, this is kind of a sidebar, but I don't have health insurance right now, and I'm kind of paying for my drugs for the prolactin. I have a prolactin like Ken Baker, and I'm paying for the drugs out of pocket right now.

1:08:14 Drew For the bromocryptine?

1:08:15 Caller For the bromocryptine, exactly.

1:08:17 Drew Why don't you call the makers? They sometimes will give you a medicine.

1:08:19 Caller I'm in the process of doing that.

1:08:20 Adam Yeah. What's that bromocryptine do? Knock it down?

1:08:23 Drew Yeah, it shrinks it.

1:08:24 Caller Yeah, it shrinks the tumor.

1:08:25 Drew It turns off the prolactin.

1:08:26 Caller Yeah. Dr. Drew recommended Man Made and I got it, and I read it. Dr. Drew, it's a great book. Oh, good.

1:08:31 Adam When did you talk to Drew?

1:08:33 Caller Like a month and a half or two ago.

1:08:35 Drew On the radio here?

1:08:35 Caller Yeah, on the radio.

1:08:36 Drew Yeah, cool.

1:08:37 Caller And Dr. Drew, or what do you call it? Ken. I was wondering, what can I expect in terms of secondary sexual characteristics? Because I went through puberty so late, I didn't go through puberty until I was 18.

1:08:59 Caller How old are you now?

1:09:00 Caller I'm 22.

1:09:01 Drew Do you know what your proletarian levels are now?

1:09:03 Caller They're kind of elevated. They're like 50 or so.

1:09:06 Drew How long have you been on the pro-cryptene?

1:09:07 Caller For the last four years.

1:09:08 Drew Did you go through the whole testosterone storm and all that stuff? Yeah.

1:09:11 Caller I had to inject it in my leg.

1:09:14 Drew You actually had to take testosterone.

1:09:16 Caller Yeah. Then that set off the puberty. Wow. But I'm still kind of hypo everything.

1:09:22 Caller Well, what do you mean? Your sex drive is super high right now? No.

1:09:27 Caller It's pretty low.

1:09:28 Caller It's low even though you're on the medication.

1:09:30 Drew You're not taking the testosterone anymore though, right?

1:09:33 Caller No, I am. I still am.

1:09:34 Drew You are still taking it. Wow. That's interesting.

1:09:35 Caller So, you're not really seeing the impact on your sex drive, I guess. Is that what you're saying?

1:09:40 Caller I'm still kind of, I don't know, a seminet.

1:09:44 Caller Huh. And you've had all your hormone levels checked? I would totally go to the endocrinologist and make sure he has all the hormone levels checked. Because there's different kinds of testosterone too.

1:09:52 Drew But he can't afford this.

1:09:54 Caller Yeah.

1:09:54 Caller Is that what you're saying?

1:09:55 Caller What's that?

1:09:56 Caller You're saying you can't afford to have the hormonal workup done?

1:09:58 Caller Well, not right now because I'm in school still.

1:10:00 Drew You're right.

1:10:01 Adam But go to the college.

1:10:02 Drew Yeah, the college should definitely.

1:10:03 Adam You're going to junior college?

1:10:05 Caller No, I'm going to UC Santa Barbara.

1:10:06 Adam Oh my god.

1:10:07 Drew Go to the health services there.

1:10:08 Caller No, I maxed out on the health insurance plan already. They have a really low ceiling.

1:10:13 Drew Oh my god. The hormonal systems are very complicated. And it's not always as easy as it was for Ken to reestablish normal physiology. Sometimes it has to be attuned very carefully with multiple different interventions. So, Greg, look forward to the fact that this stuff should be able to be correctable with pharmacology.

1:10:33 Adam All right. He's a gaucho.

1:10:35 Drew Yeah.

1:10:36 Adam And then who's up the street? The sea slug, the banana slug.

1:10:40 Drew The banana slug of Santa Cruz.

1:10:41 Adam You went to the Lord Jeffs.

1:10:43 Drew Oh yeah.

1:10:44 Adam Well, now we're going to make a list.

1:10:45 Drew Or the Anteaters in Irvine. Think about that.

1:10:48 Adam I'm going to rank colleges in order of their horrible, horrible team names.

1:10:53 Caller Ducks?

1:10:54 Adam Ducks is...

1:10:54 Drew That's doable.

1:10:55 Adam Ducks is weak. It's kind of passive.

1:10:57 Drew Yeah.

1:10:58 Caller It's not really manly.

1:10:58 Adam Well, like when a duck is going against, let's say, a lion or a bear or a cougar or anything like that, a beaver will kick a duck's ass. But the Lord Jeffs... Lord Jeffs. The Lord Jeffs.

1:11:16 Drew What was Colgate?

1:11:18 Caller Red Raiders. And now they're just the Raiders for political correctness reasons.

1:11:22 Adam Right. They were that Indian guy. The Lord Jeffs.

1:11:24 Drew See, the Lord Jeffs kicked the Raiders' ass. That's the thing. That's how that happened.

1:11:27 Adam Oh, is that what... Yeah, he beat up all the Indians with smallpox or something?

1:11:30 Drew That's exactly what he did.

1:11:31 Adam That's right. See?

1:11:33 Drew Something to be very proud of.

1:11:34 Adam So it's like you guys may win on the field, but your players will start dying off years later.

1:11:38 Drew Here's the irony of how we look at these things. So Colgate and all these schools that have Indian warrior names get a lot of crap for having that. And yet here's a school that has, you know, as their mascot, the guy that invented German warfare against Indians. And no one mentions that.

1:11:53 Caller Or Notre Dame, the fighting Irish.

1:11:55 Drew That should be much more offensive to them, I would think.

1:11:57 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, anyway, Lord Jeff's got to be amongst the worst. And were we talking about this? What do they call the women's volleyball team? The Lady Lord Jeffs?

1:12:07 Drew Yeah, Lady Jeffs.

1:12:09 Adam Lady Jeffs? That will turn anyone lesbian. All right. Let's take a little break. Ken Baker is our guest tonight. He wrote himself a book called Man Made. And we'll be right back.

1:12:24 Caller Hello, this is your radio. LoveLine will be right back.

1:13:01 Adam Hey, yo, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Ken Baker, the testosterone maker, is our guest tonight. He has written himself a book called Man-Made, chronicles his odyssey of growing up and having a tumor, and not being able to make all the testosterone. And I'm just tired, Drew.

1:13:26 Drew Yeah. I've had enough. What? It hurts you to hear about this?

1:13:30 Adam All I'm saying is, is you people, you should just know what I'm thinking from up. We've been on long enough. I don't have to say it. Do I?

1:13:39 Drew Just sit there and think it.

1:13:40 Adam You know what I would say. Like some jackass calls up, he's trying to screw around with us, or some guy says he comes too fast, or some chick says she's got an alcoholic boyfriend. You know what I would say, right? Just think it. Do I have to say it over and over again?

1:13:56 Drew No, I think, you know, this show does have to keep evolving, Adam, and I've been trying to move it along lately, and I think your contribution needs to be just to sit and think the things you'd normally say.

1:14:04 Adam I'm going to try that. I'm going to try that in the next call.

1:14:07 Drew Jeff.

1:14:08 Caller What's up?

1:14:09 Adam I'm thinking you're 18.

1:14:11 Caller Yeah, I'm 18.

1:14:11 Adam See? I didn't have to say it.

1:14:15 Drew Go ahead.

1:14:16 Caller Yeah, I just started snorting crystal meth about, I said, three and a half weeks ago. And I've been doing it ever since. And I don't know. I actually like doing it.

1:14:29 Drew Well, that's what addiction is. Initially, you do it because it works. You like it. But then you become unable to stop even though you want to.

1:14:36 Adam You know what I'm thinking, Drew?

1:14:39 Drew No.

1:14:40 Adam I'm thinking now how horrible speed is.

1:14:43 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:14:43 Adam This is where I get my jag about this one of the worst drugs.

1:14:46 Drew Speed is an awful drug.

1:14:47 Adam Yeah.

1:14:48 Drew Everybody got that?

1:14:49 Adam Yeah.

1:14:49 Drew If Adam were to speak, that would insert right here.

1:14:53 Adam Okay. Yeah. I'm done.

1:14:53 Drew Yeah. Okay. Right there. And, Jeff, this drug is pretty nasty. Even if you're using it two or three times a week, it can be an addiction at that point. It's not something you have to use every day to get the long-term effects. And eventually, you'll get psychotic. You'll start thinking that people that are close to you, workers, family members, are thinking about you and plotting against you. And if you get to that point where you're getting the psychosis, people often also get long-term problems with mood and memory. Memory problems from amphetamine. It's a common side of it.

1:15:21 Adam Really? Yeah.

1:15:22 Drew And they're permanent.

1:15:24 Adam All right, there. I'm thinking that's enough. All right, so just stop, would you?

1:15:31 Drew Either that or go to NA and get some treatment for this. If you can't stop...

1:15:34 Adam Why are you calling?

1:15:35 Drew If you can't stop, you're addicted.

1:15:36 Adam That's it. What do you want? Fantasy answer. What did I say?

1:15:40 Drew Fantasy answer.

1:15:42 Adam I was thinking about that. Yeah, why call? What's Drew going to say? A fantasy answer?

1:15:49 Drew Good. Take it with your vitamin C. Start that with it.

1:15:51 Adam I'm just doing it three times a week.

1:15:53 Drew Oh, it's good. Excellent. Jack it up a little bit. See if we can do it better next time.

1:15:57 Adam Four or five times?

1:15:59 Drew Do the best you can.

1:16:00 Adam Well, okay. It kind of helps me stay up and do my studying.

1:16:05 Drew Well, that's a bummer. You shouldn't be studying.

1:16:07 Adam All right. Fantasy answer. Josh?

1:16:14 Drew Oh, Josh is asleep.

1:16:14 Adam Oh, yeah. Josh is sleeping.

1:16:16 Drew Right. You can remove Josh from the board here.

1:16:19 Adam You think so? I think it's safe. Let's talk to Tina, 17. Tina?

1:16:24 Hi. I have a question. I was wondering what kind of qualifies as like verbal abuse from like parents. Because like my parents are like, they're like yelling at me like for anything, like swear to God, like anything.

1:16:37 Drew Well, that's real abuse.

1:16:39 Yeah.

1:16:39 Adam What do they call you?

1:16:41 Well, like my dad, he's like he's like he just like he just like anything like my parents are saying like a bitch all the time and that like they hate me.

1:16:53 Drew Anything? That's awful. I mean, that's full scale abuse. Anything disrespectful, anything exploitative, anything where they don't acknowledge the effects that their behavior is having upon you. That's all it is.

1:17:06 Yeah, but they say like, well, we like make the money and you live in our house so we can treat you however we want. And I'm like, I'm a person too, you know, and they're like, well, it's great.

1:17:14 Adam Damn, bitch.

1:17:16 Caller Yeah, that's kind of how they are.

1:17:17 Adam That's what I was thinking. And are you sure you're not just a big pain in the ass?

1:17:23 No, I'm not. Like, my friends are all like, like my friend's parents, they like love me. They're like, oh my God, I wish you were my daughter. You're so sweet. And you're like, my parents are just...

1:17:31 Drew Don't worry, Tina will have her day when she finds a nice abusive heroin addict to her.

1:17:37 Adam Big bull lesbian, beats the crap out of her.

1:17:40 God, no.

1:17:40 Adam Drives her 18 wheeler over the parents' house, honks the big air horns out front.

1:17:45 No, no, no. My parents aren't truck drivers or anything crazy like that.

1:17:49 Drew No, no, your girlfriend will be.

1:17:50 Oh, no, no, no girlfriends for me. I'm going to stick with guys.

1:17:53 Adam Thank you.

1:17:55 Drew Lesbian.

1:17:56 Adam Hey, Tina.

1:17:57 Yeah?

1:17:58 Adam At 17, should you really be talking to your parents? I mean, can't you just steer clear of them?

1:18:03 I try, but they like, like, if I'm, like, in my room, they'll come in and they'll start bitching at me and I'll be, like, What are they bitching?

1:18:09 Adam I mean, here's what I'm trying to understand. There's no doubt. All right, I forget about this thinking business. We run into this a lot. There's no doubt that there's a whole bunch of horrible parents out there. And there's a small percentage of them who would just get drunk and come in and start beating up people or yelling at people unprovoked. But the other 90% of bad parents get started with something. They say, Do the dishes. The kid doesn't do the dishes, goes into the room. And then the parents come in and start yelling and the parents are out of line. But my point is, Do the dishes. You know they're a-holes. Keep them out of your room. Play the game. Resent them, yes. And then get the hell out of the house.

1:18:52 Drew Get a radio show and talk about their ass for 44 years.

1:18:54 Adam That's right. That's right. That was my master plan.

1:18:58 Drew You've done it.

1:18:59 Adam I've told my parents many times, You rolled the dice, came up snake eyes. I know, you thought I'd be driving a truck. Joke's on you. But the point is, just don't get into them. Don't dance with them. If your mom says, take out the garbage, do the thing or do your homework, whatever it is, don't give them any lip, just go do it, lay low. It's a bad situation, and you shouldn't have to, but that's the reality of your situation.

1:19:25 Drew And her thing is, she should only have to do it for another six months or so, and then go to college. Get out of there.

1:19:30 Adam Yeah, absolutely.

1:19:31 Caller Well, what happens if she's two or three years younger and she has the specter of that?

1:19:35 Adam Then you've got to kill them. You douse them with gasoline while they're asleep. Tina, are you going to go off to college?

1:19:43 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1:19:45 Adam And you're in your senior year now?

1:19:48 Drew You're going to be out of there in six months.

1:19:49 Adam Six months? Four months, practically.

1:19:52 Drew Okay, but I just want to say something.

1:19:53 I like don't, I mean, like I do what they ask.

1:19:56 Adam Okay.

1:19:56 I'm not like one of those lazy bum kids who like just like, no, I don't want to.

1:19:59 Drew Is there any way you can stay out of their crosshairs?

1:20:00 Adam Let me ask you this. Say your dad or mom says like do the dishes. So you do all the dishes and then you go in your room and then they bust in and start yelling at you?

1:20:10 Well, it depends like their mood, like they like have mood swings and stuff.

1:20:14 Drew Are they drinking?

1:20:15 They don't drink at all. Like they haven't drank in like, sort of got like ever since I was like, like five or something.

1:20:20 Adam Does your parents sober come in and start?

1:20:23 They're just psychotic.

1:20:24 Adam They come in and start yelling at you about stuff when you've completed their tasks?

1:20:29 Yeah, like my dad, like I was like sleeping. It was like six in the morning and my dad like busted in my room and he was like yelling at me about something.

1:20:35 Adam About what?

1:20:37 Like I didn't do something right.

1:20:41 Adam What was it?

1:20:42 I don't even remember. It was like something so small that like.

1:20:46 Adam Well, what was it?

1:20:47 I swear to God, I don't remember.

1:20:49 Adam You can't remember what he was yelling at you about.

1:20:51 Drew Was it like taking the garbage out or something?

1:20:53 No. It was like six in the morning. I was like, I'm sleeping. I don't care what you're saying, man. Just leave me alone.

1:20:59 Adam Tell me what it was.

1:21:01 I don't know what it was.

1:21:02 Adam How long ago did this happen?

1:21:04 Like a while ago. Hold on.

1:21:08 Adam All right.

1:21:09 Drew Six months.

1:21:09 Adam Listen, I'm going to go over there and start yelling at her. She's a smart ass, this kid.

1:21:14 Drew I don't know.

1:21:14 Adam Look, I don't like her parents.

1:21:18 Drew Yeah.

1:21:18 Adam But she's angry at them.

1:21:20 Drew Of course.

1:21:20 Adam And she's throwing salt in the wound. She's a snot-nose kid. Listen, okay, I'm trying not to be a colossal prick here, but what I mean is I'm asking her a couple of questions and I'm getting the vibe and the attitude that dad is getting. I don't know. Well, how long? A while ago. You know, it's like she doesn't know it, but if we got them on the phone, they would give us a laundry list of what the hell happened.

1:21:50 Drew Could be.

1:21:50 Adam Okay. All I'm saying is your parents are bad people. Know it, understand it, and kiss their ass for another six months, and then get the F out of Denver, and go to college, and then screw with them for the rest of your life. That's when you pay them back. There's a lot of situations that way. I think this is an important thing for people to understand, whether it's parents, or teachers, or parole officers, or prison guards, or wardens, or girlfriends, or boyfriends, or you get into situations, or roommates, where you're with people for a short period of time, and these people aren't right. But these people sometimes are dangerous, or abusive, or can really do a lot of damage. And sometimes you have to just roll with it a little bit.

1:22:40 Caller Ride it out.

1:22:41 Adam Ride it out. Steer clear of them as best you can. Sometimes it means bending over a little bit backwards, and then getting out of the situation. If it's a roommate, don't agitate them to the point where they try to kill you at night. Just kiss a little ass, meanwhile make some plans to get the hell out of there. And this is true for many many facets of life, and you got to learn it.

1:23:05 Drew Prudence.

1:23:05 Adam Tina, I don't care what your name is, you have to learn this quality.

1:23:09 Drew We have to go to break.

1:23:10 Adam Oh yes, alright, we'll be back. LoveLine. I'm Adam. That's Drew over there. Ken Baker is our guest tonight. Ken is the author of Man-Made, and Drew, did you read this book? I read parts of it.

1:24:05 Drew I didn't read it cover-to-cover, but I read a lot of it.

1:24:08 Adam Well, if you read a lot of it, just say yeah.

1:24:10 Caller Did you read the Drew Barrymore part? That seems to be a favorite.

1:24:12 Adam I bet he missed that part.

1:24:15 Drew What part was that?

1:24:16 Adam What happened? Shocking. Shocking.

1:24:18 Drew Ask him about it. Give me another part.

1:24:19 Adam Ask him 10 other parts. I bet he missed them too.

1:24:22 Drew What happened to Drew Barrymore part?

1:24:24 Caller Well, for a while I was a correspondent for People Magazine in Hollywood and went to a lot of parties with famous people like Adam and beautiful actresses.

1:24:34 Adam Yeah, guys like myself.

1:24:35 Caller Yeah.

1:24:36 Adam Yeah. And I saw you at a furniture store.

1:24:39 Caller Yeah, we ran into each other at a furniture store once.

1:24:41 Adam Right. But anyway.

1:24:42 Caller But anyway, so I was at this party that actually I had done a story on her. I interviewed her and she invited me to a party. And I was getting this opportunity to sort of hang out with Drew Barrymore and sort of flirtatious and drinking and all that kind of stuff. And it came to a point where I realized, wow, I might be able to-

1:25:02 Adam Score.

1:25:03 Caller Yeah, I might be able to work this. But this was during the period when I was this is pre testosterone storm. And and so I just bolted. I was just scared. And just right.

1:25:14 Adam Because you didn't want to get to that point. Right.

1:25:16 Caller Like it's bad enough not to be able to get an erection, but to not be able to get an erection with Drew Barrymore. That's like a thousand times worth. I'd rather not even try. So that was sort of like one of many strings of disappointments.

1:25:28 Adam But he probably could have scored too. He married her for like 10 minutes and kind of.

1:25:33 Caller Well, someone pointed out that she, she seemed to like guys with maladies. She married Tom Green and he had the cancer or something. Yeah. Like sexually.

1:25:42 Adam You got a little Tom Green in you too. I mean, both almost Canadian, sort of semi Canadian guys. She's sort of tall and angular and yeah, I could see that. All right. How nuts is she, by the way?

1:25:54 Caller I think she's really sweet.

1:25:56 Adam Yeah. But sweet and nuts, right?

1:25:59 Caller Well, everyone's crazy in Hollywood to an extent, don't you think?

1:26:02 Adam Well, she grew up in a pretty bizarre environment. She has every right to be nuts.

1:26:08 Caller Right. I don't know if she's certifiably nuts.

1:26:10 Adam I think she's nice nuts, which I'm completely fine with, but I do think she's crazy. She's been married two times now, and I think she's got like two months.

1:26:23 Caller But the one time she's married is for like a week.

1:26:25 Adam A week.

1:26:25 Drew Yeah.

1:26:26 Adam I guess that, I don't know why, but it's better to be married for a week than it is to be married for two years.

1:26:31 Drew Oh, sure.

1:26:32 Adam No, I just mean people think more of you.

1:26:35 Drew Yeah. Well, at a week, you sort of realize you made a mistake and get out of it quick before you establish a real marriage.

1:26:39 Adam I don't know. For me, two years is kind of a bad marriage too. Yeah. But what I'm saying is, no, no, I screwed that up. What I wanted to say is a week is worse. I look at it as a job. You have a job for two years and then get fired. That's not too bad. You got a new job. The boss loves you. Welcome aboard. Here's your office. We made you a name plate and everything and a week later, you're out of there. That's screwy. That's good and screwy. Even if you realize this was the biggest mistake of your life, you could probably float it for a year. That's all I'm saying. That's what I would do. Let's save the babies. Kevin.

1:27:17 Caller Yeah.

1:27:18 Adam What's up?

1:27:18 Caller Not much.

1:27:19 Drew All right.

1:27:20 Adam You want to know what happens if you have too much testosterone?

1:27:23 Caller Yeah.

1:27:24 Adam What happens?

1:27:25 Drew Like what do you mean?

1:27:26 Adam Too much.

1:27:28 Caller I've heard it makes you more like an alpha male than like...

1:27:35 Drew Well, are you talking about what if you naturally have more testosterone than the average male? You're talking about what if you take androgenic anabolic steroids?

1:27:42 Caller No. What if you have too much naturally?

1:27:44 Adam All right. What about it?

1:27:45 Drew Well, that's not too much.

1:27:46 Caller I think I've read some things where it says you have a higher risk for heart attack.

1:27:49 Drew Well, yeah. I mean, the sort of paradigm would be what happens to guys when they take back testosterone and anabolic steroids. And yes, it absolutely affects their endothelial function. They get heart disease. They get strokes. They get disease of the heart muscle. They get liver problems. They get kidney disease. They get all kinds of stuff. They get depression. They get aggression. They get manias. Taking a lot of testosterone, extra physiologic doses has profound negative influence on your body. Prostate cancer even.

1:28:16 Adam But does your body produce too much?

1:28:20 Drew If your body produces too much, I don't know that they're having more health problems necessarily. I think you'd be at a higher risk for heart disease certainly. And you know, males produce more testosterone when they get into positions of authority, when they exercise more, when they speak in front of groups of people. Right.

1:28:36 Caller They've done studies on incarcerated males and they found that they generally have higher testosterone levels.

1:28:42 Adam Yeah. Getting raped with a mop.

1:28:45 Drew No, no. It's not the result of being there.

1:28:46 Adam Oh, you're talking about the speaking.

1:28:48 Caller But that's a good way. That's another interesting angle.

1:28:51 Adam Let me ask you this, Drew and Ken. What about the sort of what seems to be a mixture of... Here's what I'm saying. What's the while you see like a guy is really like skinny, doesn't seem to have too much muscle on him or anything, maybe even feminine sort of body features. But he's hairy. How does that work? You know what I mean? Aren't they both... I mean, if you got one, shouldn't you have the other? Yeah. Shouldn't both be products of testosterone or more testosterone?

1:29:24 Drew There are many other variables that go into how your body responds to testosterone. Many, many, many.

1:29:29 Adam All right. Let's talk to Joe, who's 19. Joe?

1:29:34 Caller Hello?

1:29:34 Adam You have a four inch penis?

1:29:36 Caller Yeah.

1:29:37 Adam All righty.

1:29:38 Caller Yes.

1:29:39 Caller Do you hear me?

1:29:40 Adam Yep.

1:29:41 Caller Okay. What's wrong with it?

1:29:43 Adam Well, it's a little small.

1:29:46 Caller What's the average? What's it supposed to be?

1:29:47 Adam Like, what's the norm? It's like, it's five and change. You're not too far off the average. The average is a little smaller normal than average. That's my feeling about the average.

1:30:00 Drew The average is no good, in your opinion?

1:30:02 Adam The average is smaller than average. That's my take.

1:30:06 Caller So, Aiden, would I be able to, like, satisfy somebody?

1:30:09 Drew Yes. And...

1:30:11 Adam A dwarf. No. You're fine.

1:30:14 Drew Yeah, Joe.

1:30:15 Adam You got to work on the oral sacs.

1:30:17 Drew No, man. I don't do that. Then you're going to have trouble.

1:30:21 Adam You better learn to do that.

1:30:22 Drew So, what can I do about it, like, make it normal? We're telling you.

1:30:26 Adam You start worrying about the oral sacs there.

1:30:28 Caller It seems like he's wondering if, like, pumps and those things in magazines and enlargements work.

1:30:34 Adam Hey, Joe.

1:30:35 Drew I bet he's not four inches. Everybody's five and a half.

1:30:37 Caller I am.

1:30:38 Adam You're four inches?

1:30:39 Caller Yeah.

1:30:40 Adam Yeah. And by the way, Joe, Joe, you're from Glendale? Yeah. San Fernando. This is where I grew up. This is what every in it and that family sounds like. Yeah. I grew up with Joe. No, I don't do that.

1:30:52 Drew No, I didn't grow up here.

1:30:53 Adam I moved here. All right. Yeah.

1:30:54 Drew From Michigan.

1:30:55 Adam No. Well, then there's some sort of, they only let the Joes in.

1:31:00 Drew All right.

1:31:00 Adam So look, why don't you go down on women? Why don't you do it?

1:31:04 Caller I don't like that. I also have another problem if you want to.

1:31:08 Caller I can do it.

1:31:09 Caller All right.

1:31:11 Adam I don't know. You just learn to like it, would you? Go down on women. That's all they want anyway. I don't care how big your penis is.

1:31:20 Caller Yeah, they do. They do though.

1:31:21 Adam Well, look, here's what I'm saying. If you got a four-inch penis, you better get good at that.

1:31:29 Drew Adorable.

1:31:30 Adam Yeah, because Joe is like a guy who's got like a 98 IQ, who says he wants to be a doctor and you go, well, you're going to have to study real hard and he goes, no, I don't do that.

1:31:38 Drew Yeah.

1:31:38 Adam Well, okay. Good.

1:31:39 Drew You have an opinion about the fallacy?

1:31:41 Caller Well, I think that, well, Adam's right. It's almost like if you warm her up, for every couple of minutes you warm her up, you gain an inch. I don't know if you can quantify that, but it's something like that. But on the other hand, women, I talked to a lot of women about it and they will admit, size does matter, but there are ways around it, like you said.

1:32:07 Adam Yeah. It is a factor and we've somehow convinced them, I think guys did this, talk them into deciding it wasn't a factor. It is a factor with women, but there's about 10 factors and that may be number 6 or 7. So the point is, it's like a triathlon or not a triathlon, decathlon, pole vault, not your strongest one. You'll make up for it. Excel, Excel in the 100-yard dash and the 440 and all that stuff in the discus. Now I'm saying get better at all the other stuff, all the cuddling and grinding and going down.

1:32:44 Caller Well, but on the other hand, I know a woman who, if she went on a date with a guy and found out that he's a small piss, she wouldn't go on another date. I mean, so that happens too.

1:32:55 Adam I'm trying to get Joe not to kill himself, basically.

1:32:58 Caller Sorry, Joe.

1:33:00 Adam Ken will not rest until Joe puts a piss on his mouth today.

1:33:03 Drew Closing a feature tonight.

1:33:05 Adam All right. We'll take a quick break and we'll be right back.

1:33:09 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

1:33:11 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:33:14 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:33:16 Caller Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

1:33:19 Drew Call the Dateline.

1:34:00 Adam Well, there it is, the show is over. I want to thank Ken Baker for coming in here and being a good sport and plugging the book. Man-Made is the name of it. Drew has read fully one quarter of it.

1:34:14 Drew At least. I want to thank Adam for thinking his responses to the calls tonight. There you go again. That's very nice. Well done.

1:34:23 Adam All right. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Hi, I'm Adam Corolla. You know, I play pussy on the radio.

1:34:31 Caller This has been LoveLine. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for LoveLine is Ann Wilkins Dingle. LoveLine is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, January 30, 2002