Episode 1000737208186

0:13 Voiceover 1-800-LOVE-191 Love Line starts now.

0:19 Voiceover 1-800-LOVE-191, that's right, we're Love Line, I'm here.

0:23 Rob Schneider That's love.

0:23 Rob Schneider Dr. Drew, that is Rob, none other than Rob Schneider.

0:27 Drew That's Love Line.

0:29 Rob Schneider That's your last night with us, Rob.

0:31 Drew This is, it's been a good week.

0:32 Rob Schneider For this week, we'll have you back soon, but you gotta like make this one count.

0:35 Drew This is the one, this is where it's on the cusp right here. If I can just somehow pull this one out. That's kind of sexual also, but Love Line.

0:44 Rob Schneider But don't think that's a birth control method, you see.

0:46 Drew Yes, yes.

0:47 Rob Schneider Wear a condom anyway.

0:49 Drew Wear a condom, people. That's the theme of the week.

0:53 Rob Schneider Wear those things. Thank you, thank you, Anderson, thank you.

0:56 Drew Wear a whole crotch condom.

0:58 Rob Schneider Where's that little yellow pad I had last night where I wrote down-

1:00 Drew I hope someone threw that away.

1:01 Rob Schneider Where they had learned about Rob Schneider.

1:03 Drew My nieces are listening in my car. They just dropped me off.

1:06 Rob Schneider Okay, I won't bring that all up.

1:07 Drew They're so freaking cute.

1:10 Rob Schneider They're like what, 20?

1:11 Drew They're 20. To me, they're always like about 13, 14.

1:15 Rob Schneider In reality?

1:16 Drew Well, they're 20, 18, and 17.

1:19 Rob Schneider Okay, so they can handle it. They like prostate massage. They can handle it. They can handle that.

1:24 Drew I never said I liked it. I just said you gotta be open to things in life.

1:29 Rob Schneider Well, just, yeah, that's what's one.

1:31 Drew That's the idea of it.

1:32 Rob Schneider That's one step removed from liking it.

1:35 Drew Yes.

1:36 Rob Schneider Being open. All right, Deuce Bigelow European Gigolo comes out on DVD Tuesday, November 29th.

1:41 Drew Wow, that's quick. How do they turn that around? Quick these days.

1:44 Rob Schneider Look for Rob on Bench Warmer.

1:46 Drew Yeah, in April.

1:47 Rob Schneider That's a good thing. April is coming out.

1:48 Drew April 7th or 9th or somewhere.

1:50 Rob Schneider And who else is in that?

1:51 Drew John Heater from Napoleon Dynamite, which is actually playing in the Rialto in Pasadena. That's a really popular movie. Hilarious.

1:58 Rob Schneider What's playing in the Rialto?

1:58 Drew Oh, the Napoleon.

1:59 Rob Schneider Is that Rialto now?

2:00 Drew Yeah. I mean, can you imagine? It's been out on video for a year and like, but it's really fun to see in the theater. That's a great theater out there. But it's, I saw that movie. It's one of the few movies I've seen with my mother and my sister and we're all laughing. And it's just one of those movies. It's just hilarious.

2:16 Rob Schneider Last one you all wrote was what, Pink Flamingos or?

2:20 Drew I think it was Looking for Mr. Goodbar. No one's gonna get there. My kid loved it. Actually, my parents saw that. It was a Woody Allen, my parents thought it was a Woody Allen movie because Diane Keaton was in it. And it's about Diane Keaton is in it, but she's looking for men and having sex with strange men. She gets stabbed at the end of the movie. My parents didn't go to see movies after that for five years after that.

2:41 Rob Schneider If that was when you decided you wanted a career in movies, right then, right then. No, that's right. So here we go. Rob Schneider is a guest. We're going to go right to phone.

2:48 Drew Right to phones, man.

2:49 Rob Schneider Do you want to?

2:50 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is good.

2:51 Rob Schneider All right, here we go. This is one that's an interesting call for you, Rob.

2:54 Drew For me.

2:55 Rob Schneider Brenda, what's going on?

2:56 Rob Schneider Hi. When I started listening to your show last night and I thought maybe you could help. I didn't know who else to ask.

3:03 Rob Schneider All right, fair enough.

3:06 Drew No, that's not fair. She's from Dayton and that's not like Appalachia.

3:10 Rob Schneider Dayton is much more Middle America.

3:12 Drew Yeah, Dayton, that's where they go. I mean, Ohio is where they come right near Dayton, Columbus.

3:16 Rob Schneider Where they do all the testing.

3:17 Drew That's where they test products, so that's so unfair.

3:19 Rob Schneider It's average America, right?

3:20 Drew There's crazier people, a lot crazier people in California than in Ohio.

3:25 Rob Schneider No, actually, I think we top.

3:28 Drew All right. All right. Thanks for undermining me. Trying to help you, Brenda.

3:33 We love you, Rob, though, by the way.

3:35 Drew You're very kind.

3:38 Rob Schneider Okay, enough with the-

3:40 Drew What's going on, Brenda?

3:42 Rob Schneider I am being kind of sexually molested by a ghost of a night. And I want to know what I can do to stop it. He keeps fondling my breast.

3:53 Rob Schneider Well, let's ask a couple of questions here. Were you sexually abused as a child?

3:57 Rob Schneider No.

3:58 Rob Schneider Have you ever been raped or traumatized in any way like that growing up?

4:01 Rob Schneider No.

4:01 Rob Schneider Or any other time in your life?

4:03 Drew Is it somebody wearing a sheet who is just saying, Whoo!

4:06 Rob Schneider Right. Is it actually a person?

4:07 Rob Schneider Touch my penis!

4:11 Rob Schneider Whoo!

4:12 Rob Schneider Faster!

4:13 Rob Schneider I can't ask my preacher about it because he'd think I was insane.

4:17 Drew Well, now wait a minute. Why, um, are you sleeping when this is happening?

4:21 Rob Schneider You're insane.

4:22 Rob Schneider No. As soon as I either sit down on the couch or I lay down in the bed, you can see my breast moving. I mean, this thing actually, and it lays on top of me, it don't do nothing, but I mean, it just mostly And all I do is fondle your breast? And it rubs my legs and my butt.

4:41 Rob Schneider Well, Brenda, one thing I know when the, um, the laws of nature are violated, it's always good to explore other possibilities because so far I've never seen any proof that laws of nature can be violated. So, based on that assumption only.

4:54 Drew So basically, Dr. Drew's being a cynic and saying that there's no ghost fondling your buttocks.

4:58 Rob Schneider Call me crazy. Call me crazy.

5:00 Drew First of all, I think your story, it makes, you have, you've proved it because you're calling, you're calling, you're able to use the phone to call 1-800-LOVELINE or whatever exactly the number is. So, I believe your story. But Dr. Drew seems to think that it's never happened in the history of the universe. Or at least in the history of the universe.

5:19 Rob Schneider We did it about six months ago and it just...

5:21 Drew It's been going on for six months?

5:23 Rob Schneider Huh?

5:24 Drew It's been going on for six months?

5:25 Rob Schneider I have dealt with men...

5:26 Rob Schneider It's been six months ago and...

5:28 Drew Oh, so you live with the husband?

5:29 Rob Schneider Yes.

5:30 Drew Okay, now what does your husband... Has he seen the booby moving?

5:34 Rob Schneider He has seen it and it actually looks like hands pressing in on my breast and my...

5:41 Drew What does your husband think? Can you put him on the phone?

5:43 Rob Schneider He's asleep.

5:45 Drew Wake his ass up. We got to win tomorrow.

5:47 Rob Schneider He was crazy calling somebody about it. He told me not to.

5:52 Rob Schneider Well, look, there are medical syndromes that can make you feel like and even look like that kind of thing is happening. I suggest...

5:59 Drew Are you on medicine?

6:00 Rob Schneider Yeah, but we have things fly around in here too.

6:03 Drew Are you on... Okay, that's the difference between I do no medicine. White people and minorities.

6:08 Rob Schneider I don't smoke, I don't do no pills, I don't do directly vegetarian.

6:14 Drew You snored anything?

6:15 Rob Schneider No.

6:17 Drew Okay, hey, this is the difference. Can you push the blue button there? The difference between white people and minorities. I think Eddie Murphy's talking about a joke there. If this was a Filipino, Mexican, Puerto Rican, a black family, they're out of there the next morning. They're out of there the next night.

6:35 Rob Schneider It's like six months later, well, he's still squeezing my boobies and it's a ghost, I guess, but I don't know. I like the carpet. It's really close to work and the garage is right out front and I don't know, we got to pull two blocks down and let's...

6:50 Drew You know what, I don't know. Why do you stay?

6:52 Rob Schneider I've seen lots and lots and lots and lots of patients claiming they have things like this and magically when we treat them, those go away magically.

6:59 Drew How would you treat something like this?

7:00 Rob Schneider Well, she needs a medical evaluation first. But what about the husband?

7:04 Drew He's just going along with it.

7:05 Rob Schneider There can be muscular contraction, things that can look kind of funky when certain neurological conditions, and she needs to be evaluated first, but you need to get this looked into. Assume the laws of nature are not being violated. Assume there is something going on.

7:16 Drew Can I just ask her why she wouldn't move? Why don't you just move?

7:20 Rob Schneider There's nothing wrong.

7:22 Rob Schneider It's not hurting her.

7:23 Drew All right, all right. Well, then try to take it up to... See if you can actually have full on penetration with the NVIDIA tape at the center.

7:30 Rob Schneider There you go. Then maybe I'll believe it. Anna's 20.

7:32 Drew Hi, Anna.

7:34 Hello.

7:35 Rob Schneider Hello.

7:35 Rob Schneider Hi.

7:36 Rob Schneider What's happening?

7:37 Drew Hi. What's going on, Anna? Not so much.

7:39 How are you?

7:41 Drew I'm really good. So what's going on over there?

7:45 Well, okay. My roommates and I have a question. We watched Taboo this weekend, the porn movie that Adam really likes.

7:53 Rob Schneider Which part of the series? Well, Rob likes it too now.

7:54 We watched Taboo 6.

7:56 Rob Schneider 6? Taboo 6?

7:58 Drew Taboo 6? I mean, how do they crank them out like that? I mean, they have to go through the plot and then like, you know, the set design and you got to do that musical score.

8:07 Rob Schneider Oh yeah, you heard that song?

8:08 Drew In the editing.

8:09 Rob Schneider Here's the song. This is Taboo 1. They're singing here in the mids, mid Taboo 2, I beg your pardon, mid 70s about a guy that's sleeping with his sister and his mom. Good guy. They're singing ballads to him.

8:24 Well, this particular one was about a girl who wanted to have sex with like her brother or something.

8:30 Rob Schneider Yeah, shocking.

8:31 Drew Okay, so she wanted to have sex with her brother, what?

8:34 It was like they were bound through time together.

8:37 Drew Right.

8:38 Like in the past, they had been-

8:39 Drew They were bound through time together?

8:41 Yeah.

8:42 Drew Right? They were, right? I watched Fargo also and then adopted that as a pattern for my speech. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

8:56 Okay, but we have like a serious question.

8:58 Drew Okay, what's the question?

8:59 Rob Schneider Who is we, first of all? Who is we?

9:02 My roommates and I.

9:03 Drew My roommates and I have a serious question from St. Paul, Minnesota.

9:08 Rob Schneider So you and how many girls watched this film?

9:10 It was, it was me and three of my other roommates.

9:14 Drew So they watched the whole thing and were you stoned when you were watching it?

9:17 No, we hadn't, like we'd had a couple of beers. So we were sober when we rented it.

9:22 Drew Did it turn you on at all? Just a little bit.

9:24 It didn't really. Like we-

9:26 Drew It didn't really or just a little bit?

9:28 Ow!

9:30 Drew Sorry.

9:30 No, like we thought that it might but it didn't. Because we were more-

9:35 Drew Hang on.

9:36 Zip.

9:37 Drew No, so you thought it would turn you on but it didn't. You see-

9:40 It did, honestly. It really didn't. It was kind of like-

9:42 Rob Schneider What would? What would?

9:45 Drew Hey, no, seriously, Anna St. Paul. Yes.

9:50 Rob Schneider What's that diner? What's the name of that diner in St. Paul?

9:53 Drew Oh, no.

9:54 Rob Schneider Come on, Anna.

9:54 Drew There's a good steakhouse in St. Paul.

9:56 Rob Schneider What's the diner? The crazy old diner that's open all night in St. Paul? Anna. I don't know.

10:00 Drew I don't know.

10:00 Rob Schneider Yeah. Mickey's.

10:02 Drew Rudolph's. Rudolph's Steakhouse.

10:04 Rob Schneider Mickey's diner, right?

10:04 Drew Rudolph's Steakhouse, man. Awesome.

10:06 In St. Paul?

10:07 Drew Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. We're watching pornos.

10:11 Rob Schneider We don't go out to eat.

10:12 Drew So you're there with your friends. It's really your turn and you're not turned on. You see, women in the group are not going to get turned on.

10:18 Rob Schneider No, women don't get turned on. They don't. Generally, this has now been studied a little bit. When you put women-

10:23 Drew Yeah, by weirdos like you.

10:24 Rob Schneider No, no, the scientists, other weird scientists like me.

10:27 Drew Other weird scientists.

10:28 Rob Schneider They put them in functional MRI scanners and watch how their brain lights up in response to visual-

10:32 Drew You don't have to put them in functional MRI scanners.

10:34 Rob Schneider Well, they don't-

10:34 Drew Just watch their boobies and see if ghosts are touching them.

10:36 Rob Schneider They don't really react very much to visual imagery. They get aroused by it, but they don't get appetite. They don't get dried from it.

10:42 Drew So, I mean, you gotta explain to us. So what's the difference between aroused and excited then?

10:44 Rob Schneider This is the thing. Men, they're the same thing. They can go, oh, I feel sexual, but I don't want to do anything with it.

10:49 Drew Okay, all right. Then that makes total sense. That's stupid. Okay, so what's the thing? So you're watching the pornos, and what's your question, Anna?

10:56 What I'm wondering that do you guys like stopping having sex with a girl, like, in her, and having them finish in her mouth? Because that's what happened every time.

11:08 Drew Okay, you know what? Thank God somebody finally answered this question. Anna, thank...

11:13 Rob Schneider We don't know.

11:14 Drew All right, well, let me tell you, I'm glad you don't know, Anna. But let me tell you, here's what happens in a porno, a porno that people have paid money to rent or whatever, they're gonna want to know what happens at the end. That's like the end of the story, you know? The end, when you see that in a movie or so, well, the end is the guy exploding, blah, blah, blah, you know, somewhere.

11:41 Rob Schneider So in real life, the end of a porno is different than the end of a sexual encounter in real life.

11:46 Drew I mean, well, I would hope so.

11:47 Rob Schneider It's a convention. It's a convention that says, end of story, onto the next piece.

11:52 Drew There's new things in pornos. You know, when I was promoting the new...

11:55 Rob Schneider Porno?

11:56 Drew Last porno I did. No, not the last Deuce Bigelow, which is a porno just without the sex. But you know what, there was, I went to the Playboy channel when they were talking. There's stuff I didn't even know that they do out there.

12:07 Rob Schneider You were in Amsterdam for three months or something.

12:08 Drew Yeah, I mean, there's other, grosser stuff, too, that's beyond that. But no, that is not a necessity for what a guy, every guy likes that. It's like porn stuff. First of all, no one of the guys are going to have sex as long as what you saw there. I mean, let me just ask what, I mean, how long were these guys lasting in this porn?

12:29 ANNA That was part of the reason, like, we at one point fast-forwarded, because we just got bored.

12:33 We just kept him shut.

12:36 And it was like, I mean-

12:37 Drew Me too, not over here, me too. I'll fast-forward.

12:40 Rob Schneider In real life?

12:42 Drew Yes, in real life. I'm gonna go, you know what, honey, well, let's just fast-forward.

12:45 Rob Schneider Anna, are you sexually active?

12:48 Yeah, I mean, sort of. It's been a while.

12:52 Rob Schneider Hopefully, you will be with guys that are interested in you and not interested in sort of acting upon you or having you be sort of a-

13:00 Drew Well, here's the deal.

13:00 Caller It's more like an insecurity thing. It's more like-

13:02 Drew No, no, no, Anna, no, no, you're absolutely- that's a valid question. You gotta understand, but Anna, these pornos, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, let me talk, let the co-hosts talk, it's my last night. These pornos are made for guys who are over-stimulated and want to see stuff that normally they can't do, wouldn't do, wouldn't let them do. Well, yeah, yeah, it's a fantasy kind of thing. It's crazy, it's extreme, and you reacted fine to it.

13:30 Rob Schneider Anna, it's-

13:31 Caller So you and Rob Schneider don't like girls to come in, don't like to come in girls' faces, like as a rule.

13:37 Drew Yes, as a rule. No, I don't need to do that. I don't need to do that unless-

13:41 Rob Schneider Get my pen out again, will you please get a pen, paper, and a pencil.

13:43 Drew Did I pause too long?

13:45 Rob Schneider No, no, no, just learn more.

13:46 Drew Anna Why are you writing stuff about me?

13:47 Rob Schneider Just learn more about you.

13:48 Drew Anna From St. Paul's.

13:49 Rob Schneider Don't like to, to-

13:50 Drew Well, I would say that is not what I need. I don't need, that's not-

13:54 Rob Schneider Bukanke, bad.

13:55 Drew I love making contact with a woman, making love to a woman and making contact, looking in her eyes to me is the sexiest thing. That is honestly, I know that sounds gay, I know it sounds- No, I'm not, no, I mean I like to have intimacy with a woman and I don't need that, that to me is not the most exciting thing you can do.

14:13 Rob Schneider I think it's those, so many images in pornography I think are misogynistic and awful.

14:19 Drew Yeah, and I'll tell you what, you know, it is, it is, you know, Dr. Drew opened up that huge garage door of, with a, it's slightly hateful and, you know, towards women. I mean if you really, you know, like a girl, you're not going to want to blind her temporarily and then sneak, put on your pants and sneak out of the room without paying. You really want to.

14:37 Rob Schneider Why did you guys get Taboo? Why not, something more, I don't know, current?

14:40 Caller ANNA We actually also mentioned Saving Ryan's Privates.

14:44 Drew Well, that's a good title.

14:45 Caller ANNA Not realizing that it was like a fetish film.

14:48 Drew Let me tell you, Anna, I didn't realize that I made it in Chobas until they made a porno after one of my movies. ANNA Really? Deuce big below. Yeah, I haven't seen it yet, but I hear good things.

14:56 Caller ANNA Well, it wouldn't have probably been that hard. They wouldn't even have had to like play on words or anything like that.

15:01 Drew That's true.

15:01 Rob Schneider The other thing, Anna, you'll find about males watching pornography is they don't want any story for the most part.

15:06 Drew Yeah, whereas women are just like, well, how did that happen? I mean, why wouldn't they even walk in that room? I mean, what's he doing? He doesn't even have a pizza. He said he had a pizza, then he comes in. I mean, what's the deal? What is he delivering? I mean, if she really has her pipes blocked, I mean, shouldn't he take care of that person before they start going down on each other and entering her in every orifice and then going off in her eyes?

15:26 Rob Schneider I mean, what's the deal?

15:27 Drew Well, no, it's actually mostly for guys and it's going to be extreme situations that are going to be highly stimulating things for guys to see and no, they're not in the story.

15:39 Rob Schneider Adam Lakers The guy that I told you did the function MRI scans was said to me when she goes, you know, males, when it comes to sexual arousal and sort of what we respond to, which is like one switch. It's an off and an on and that's it. Women, it's like walking to the deck of a 747 or something, dials and dials, it's like, it's all over the place. And each one's different. Each one's a different kind of aircraft.

15:59 Drew Well, I'll say this, Anna, it's not, if it had happened to me in the past, it was only because it happened too early in the sexual experience.

16:09 Rob Schneider Here we go. Anna, thanks for the call.

16:10 Rob Schneider Hello.

16:11 Drew Thank you, Anna.

16:11 Rob Schneider 20.

16:12 Rob Schneider Yep. Hi. I was, I actually was just wondering, this is moreover for Dr. Drew.

16:19 Drew Don't just assume.

16:20 Rob Schneider Don't limit it, don't limit it.

16:21 Gary, whoa, whoa.

16:22 Drew I am a professional actor. If there's something about your vagina that you want to talk about, I am more than qualified. Being a professionally trained actor, comedian, slash, sometime producer, slash writer, I know, so please.

16:36 Rob Schneider Slash dog owner.

16:37 Drew Slash, yeah. Slash, slush dog owner. Please, let me, I'll give you advice about your vagina.

16:43 Rob Schneider Here we go.

16:44 Rob Schneider Okay, I have thyroid cancer.

16:47 Drew Oh my goodness. And I went through Wow, buzz kill right there. I'm sorry.

16:50 Rob Schneider Do you know what cell type you have?

16:53 Rob Schneider It's follicular and papillary.

16:55 Rob Schneider Oh, both.

16:56 Rob Schneider Okay.

16:57 Rob Schneider And is it spread?

16:59 Rob Schneider It's spread to three lymph nodes, level two lymph nodes.

17:02 Rob Schneider And on your neck?

17:03 Rob Schneider Yeah.

17:04 Rob Schneider Okay.

17:05 Drew That's just kind of...

17:06 Rob Schneider Hold on.

17:07 Rob Schneider I know it's a turn.

17:09 Drew I just got to say, wait a minute. I was like, we're on a roll there.

17:12 Rob Schneider I brought you down.

17:13 Drew Yeah, that was just, I don't know. I was like, I was ready for a joke and then, I don't know.

17:17 Rob Schneider Didn't say cancer. Didn't say cancer. I know we're going to write cancer.

17:19 Drew The C word just kind of messed up any roll that I got on there.

17:23 Rob Schneider We'll get it going fast.

17:23 Drew But anyway, so I'll finish what you're saying because I, you know, don't limit me. I know two or three things about cancer. And I'll spell it.

17:32 Rob Schneider And so I went to the radioactive iodine and they said that it comes out through like even your tears and your saliva.

17:40 Rob Schneider Yes, you got to stay away from people for a while.

17:42 Rob Schneider Yeah, that only for about four, about three days after you get the big dose.

17:47 Rob Schneider Okay.

17:48 Drew I was going to say four days also.

17:50 Rob Schneider Oh, okay.

17:52 Rob Schneider Yeah.

17:52 Drew So go on.

17:53 Rob Schneider And they also told you, I'm sure, that you got a pretty good chance of curing or at least controlling this stuff, right?

17:58 Rob Schneider Oh, yeah, most definitely.

17:59 Rob Schneider Yeah, this is what you have, although you got a little more aggressive than usual, is quite a curable situation. But that radioactive iodine just goes right to the tumor and kills it.

18:08 Drew And what kind of thyroid, what is it?

18:11 Rob Schneider Papillary cell and follicular cell cancer.

18:13 Rob Schneider Yeah, and they actually did a sweet thyroidectomy, and so...

18:17 Drew Thyroidectomy?

18:18 Rob Schneider They have to take a thyroid out and die.

18:19 Drew I had a parathyroidectomy.

18:20 Rob Schneider You had a parathyroidectomy? You have parathyroid adenomas?

18:24 Drew I had a parathyroid problem. They took it out, and I was very lucky because...

18:27 Rob Schneider Wow, that's rare.

18:27 Drew It's usually, it's a little thing in your...

18:29 Rob Schneider It's in your thyroid.

18:30 Drew And it controls your phosphorus and calcium.

18:33 Rob Schneider Yeah.

18:33 Drew And most people have four, and some people have five, whatever. Mine was, they actually open up and it's in your neck. And if you don't, if something's wrong with that, and if you don't have the parathyroids controlling that calcium, and phosphorus, you're going to have to take these horrible, terrible pills for the rest of your life, and it's like a lot of them. It's like 12 of this one, 12. But anyway, this guy, Dr. Olaf Clark operated on me.

18:57 Rob Schneider Cut just the right of me.

18:58 Drew And he had to take a half. I had three.

19:00 Rob Schneider Three tumors.

19:01 Drew Three hyperplasia. Yeah. And so I had three, no, just three things. It was only one, but they had to test one.

19:07 Rob Schneider Right. They had to test all of them.

19:09 Drew One and a half, that's the absolute minimum you can live with.

19:11 Rob Schneider Wow.

19:11 Drew That's very interesting.

19:13 Rob Schneider It's rare.

19:14 Drew Yeah. So I was, and then they opened me up.

19:15 Rob Schneider I'm a young male anyway.

19:16 Drew And then they opened me up and they also said I had brown fat. And I went, what the hell's that? And he said, that's like for hibernating, like polar bears or Eskimo people.

19:23 Rob Schneider What's?

19:24 Drew And I said, so, hey, that's good, right? And he said, not really. Doesn't really help. But yeah, maybe, maybe.

19:30 Rob Schneider So Carrie, here you go. So what's the question?

19:32 Rob Schneider I was actually just wondering, do you know if the radiation comes out of like vaginal secretions even?

19:37 Drew Excuse me a second.

19:38 Rob Schneider Oh, oh, God.

19:40 Rob Schneider Yes, it does. But once you're sort of free to talk to people and be around them, you needn't worry so much about that anymore.

19:48 Drew No, you're going to be.

19:51 Rob Schneider Here's another question for you, Mark, Rob.

19:54 Drew So early in the night, that call. Can we have those calls like about ten forty five?

19:58 Rob Schneider I thought you'd like this since you're already vomiting. Let's get this clear. What a system.

20:01 Drew All right, all right, all right. Hello. Sandra? Yes. Sandra.

20:06 Rob Schneider There you are.

20:07 Drew New Mexico. Let's go, baby. Come on.

20:09 Rob Schneider Um, I was just wondering if you have beauty marks, if it's possible for beauty marks to be on the vagina.

20:16 Drew Sure. Beauty marks. Absolutely. You'd be a little smiley face down there. It's just, if you haven't had it ever, then you have sex with some guy that you met in a bar and you didn't wear a condom and then you see something down there. I'd say it's probably not a beauty mark. I mean, is this something new?

20:34 Well, I found it on me.

20:35 Rob Schneider Well, my girlfriend found it on me.

20:37 Rob Schneider Who did? Your girlfriend.

20:38 Drew Now, are you having sex with some people out there?

20:42 Rob Schneider No, just one person.

20:43 Rob Schneider You're a lesbian.

20:43 Drew Is he a bouncer in a bar?

20:45 Rob Schneider It's a girl.

20:45 Drew Is it a girl?

20:46 Rob Schneider No, it's just my girlfriend.

20:47 Drew Okay, is your girl okay? You're a lesbian. Are you having sex with, are you a lesbian?

20:52 Rob Schneider Yes.

20:52 Rob Schneider You're a lesbian.

20:53 Drew Okay, all right. Well, okay. Have you had sex with a guy before or an unprotected sex?

20:59 Rob Schneider No.

21:00 Rob Schneider Other than the guy that sexually abused you and you were like three?

21:03 Rob Schneider No.

21:04 Drew No? Okay. Well, yeah, it's very possible.

21:09 Rob Schneider What you have to worry about though, Sandra, is that you can get melanomas down there too. So if you suddenly get a dark growth, it's important that a dermatologist or gynecologist take a look at that. It's kind of unusual.

21:18 Drew Are you mistaking this for your clitoris?

21:22 It's on my clitoris.

21:24 Drew It's on your clitoris?

21:26 Yeah.

21:27 Drew Wow, that's very unusual. Wow.

21:29 Rob Schneider A black spot?

21:31 Caller It's a beauty mark.

21:34 Rob Schneider Well, who knows what you mean when you say a beauty mark? Is it raised? Is it flat? Is it dark? Is it brown? Is it black?

21:39 Drew What does it look like?

21:40 Rob Schneider It's brown and it's flat.

21:42 Rob Schneider Flat. And it appeared suddenly?

21:46 Rob Schneider No, it just...

21:48 Drew You never looked at it before down there, right?

21:51 Rob Schneider Yeah.

21:51 Drew And your girlfriend found it?

21:53 Rob Schneider Yes.

21:54 Drew I consider that like money in your pocket. It's like, you know, you get a new pair of jeans, you put it on, you got 20 bucks, you're back partying, you go, woo!

22:00 Rob Schneider That it's, it's, you know, for photographs, that kind of directs the eye a certain direction.

22:04 Drew It does. You know, I think you should think about a job in the porn industry. You know what you come with? And also starring Sarah Klotzpitt.

22:13 I mean, sorry, Klitzpot.

22:19 Drew Well, Klitzpot, Sarah Klitzpot. You'll be famous. Taboo 7. Well, anyway, you're all right. I don't know. Did you have a question about it or you just wanted to do one?

22:32 Rob Schneider It's possible. Yes, it's possible.

22:33 Drew Yes, it's obvious.

22:34 Rob Schneider But again, keep in mind, melanomas do occur in funny places like that.

22:37 Drew Yeah, yeah.

22:37 Rob Schneider Somebody who knows the difference needs to take a look at them.

22:39 Drew Get it checked out by somebody who's not going down on you.

22:41 Rob Schneider Oh, then you're going to... Or if your girlfriend's a dermatologist, that's fine.

22:46 Drew Yeah, maybe. Whatever. Then go for it.

22:49 Rob Schneider Great Rob Schneider in here tonight. Our phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. It is Loveline and Loveline will be right back.

22:59 Rob Schneider Loveline will be right back.

23:04 Rob Schneider Parathyroid, adenoma, prostate massage, good. Okay, just make a little list here.

23:07 Drew Sarah Clitspot. Wow, I can't believe it. I think it's a Clotspit.

23:11 Rob Schneider That's Rob Schneider there testing his language skills. Let's go right to the phone. 1-800-LOVE-191. What have we got?

23:16 Drew We're going good tonight, man. We're on a roll.

23:18 Rob Schneider Interesting calls. Rachel, 28. Rachel, what's going on there?

23:21 Drew Hey, Rach.

23:22 Hey, actually this is Rachel's sister, Natalie. She got too embarrassed.

23:26 Rob Schneider All right, well, good. Natalie, way to go.

23:28 Drew Hi, Natalie. You seem more confident than Rachel.

23:30 Caller Yeah, well, we actually have a comment regarding the pornos for men only because there's some women out there that enjoy them just as much as guys do.

23:39 Drew Okay, I'm not saying that women don't enjoy them. I'm saying most women don't need to look at pornos.

23:45 Rob Schneider Here's the deal. There's $100 billion spent by men as about $800 million spent by women.

23:49 Drew No, I think about $800 spent by women.

23:51 Rob Schneider Right. And they're designed for men.

23:53 Drew They don't need the visual stimulus that men do.

23:56 Rob Schneider But the point I was making, which is purely scientific fact, is that, remember I said that men are like an on and off switch and women are like the flight deck of a 747, but each woman is different. And there are those definitely women who like visual stimuli, like porn, and have a more male biology in terms of how they respond to it. Like you.

24:13 Drew You sound too confident. You seem like you've got some of that male stuff there going.

24:17 Caller Yeah, I must because I love watching pornos and it totally gets me stimulated.

24:21 Rob Schneider There you go.

24:21 Drew Okay, well, there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, but honestly, do you fast forward to just the sex?

24:27 Caller Um, no, not usually.

24:31 Rob Schneider Okay, that's what guys do.

24:32 Drew Okay, guys do that. But you don't need to just go right to the actual sex and then boom, get it over with and then boom. You don't need that.

24:40 Rob Schneider She likes the story.

24:42 Drew I do.

24:42 Rob Schneider You like the story?

24:43 Caller I hate the story lines. I hate story lines.

24:46 Rob Schneider I just want to get to the sex.

24:48 Caller I like watching...

24:48 Drew Okay, I know. Okay, okay, right. But there's another thing, though. Guys will fast forward until they get the stimulus that they kind of like. They're not into like the whole thing. You know what I'm saying? Whereas you probably are. You sound like a slut. No, I'm just kidding. No, but you... Oh my God.

25:06 Caller You can tell by the way the phone?

25:07 Drew No. Hey, listen. No, but hey, you like it. That's great. Now, the thing is though, sometimes I got to ask this question. Now, Dr. Drew is going to back me up.

25:15 Rob Schneider I'm listening.

25:16 Drew Now, I think some women just say they like it, then do things just to please the guys. They will get into that kind of behavior.

25:22 Rob Schneider Women definitely do that. I've been driving them insane that they subjugate themselves like that.

25:26 Drew And so I got to ask you, have you always been into, was it a guy that got you into porno? What is it? Or is it something? I mean, how did that go? Because my attitude is more kind of like women by nature aren't into that and don't need that.

25:38 Rob Schneider Some women.

25:39 Drew OK, yeah, yeah, by nature, for the most part.

25:40 Rob Schneider For the most part.

25:41 Drew For the most part. Let me just come on. I'm a professional actor. I mean, I don't time. No, I know some guy turned you on to this. And did you start watching for us to please him?

25:49 Caller No, I started watching him on my own.

25:51 I like him just.

25:52 Caller I mean, I watch him by myself most of the time.

25:55 Rob Schneider And and do you masturbate to it?

25:57 Caller Yeah, I do.

25:58 Sometimes.

25:59 Rob Schneider That's fine.

25:59 Drew OK, that's fine.

26:00 Rob Schneider Well, this is Rachel. That's Rachel. Well, that's good. You have a very open and then Anna. Remember, Anna, she was like, you this stuff like, oh, I don't know. Yeah, I'm bored. I'm bored. Let's fast forward through this. Let's get on with it.

26:11 Drew Which one do you prefer, Dr. Drew?

26:13 Rob Schneider Which girl?

26:13 Drew Yeah. I don't know. I mean, would I be weirded out? I would be weirded out. I wouldn't mind watching a porno with you.

26:20 Rob Schneider I could weird it out by girls that are sexual.

26:22 Drew No, I would be weirded out if you're watching. If I came home and I saw you watching a porno by yourself, I'd find out like, well, why do you wait for me?

26:30 Rob Schneider Would you be jealous?

26:31 Drew No.

26:31 Rob Schneider Would it mean that another guy has been with her?

26:33 Drew It could be. She's done those things before without me.

26:38 Caller Now you're sounding like the girl complaining about the guy watching porn.

26:42 Rob Schneider You're right, Rachel.

26:43 Drew Maybe. Maybe I am.

26:44 Rob Schneider You are so right. You are so right. Maybe you're on to something. You talk about the double standard, baby.

26:47 Drew That's it. This isn't Rachel. This is Rachel's sister, Natalie.

26:49 Rob Schneider Oh, this is Natalie. I beg your pardon.

26:51 Caller Yeah.

26:51 Drew Natalie, wait a minute. I'm going to do a listener love line. Do you normally watch porno by yourself or with your boyfriend?

26:59 Caller I watch it mostly by myself.

27:01 Rob Schneider Do you have a boyfriend?

27:02 Caller I do have a boyfriend, yes.

27:04 Rob Schneider Does he like this?

27:05 Rob Schneider Yeah, he likes watching it too.

27:07 Rob Schneider Does he like that you like watching it?

27:09 Caller Yeah, he does.

27:10 Rob Schneider Does he get jealous the way Rob does?

27:12 Caller No, he doesn't.

27:13 Drew Not at all. Natalie, Natalie, Natalie, you had sex at 14 your first time.

27:20 No, I was 16.

27:22 Drew 16. All right, that's pretty normal.

27:27 Rob Schneider I'm going to do a listener love line and I need Natalie on the show.

27:29 Drew Natalie, will you come down here and be co-host with us?

27:32 Caller I would love to be a co-host with you guys.

27:34 Rob Schneider All right, hold on.

27:35 Drew You seem way too normal and cool.

27:37 Rob Schneider Right. Katie, 21.

27:40 Caller Hi.

27:40 Rob Schneider That's cool. Hey, Katie.

27:41 Drew Hi, what's up?

27:44 Caller Obviously, you just said 21. I'm a heroin addict. I have been for about five years.

27:49 Drew That sounds like a good... You sound like you're on the right path already.

27:54 Caller No, I'm on the wrong path.

27:56 Drew Are you still doing heroin?

27:59 Caller Yeah, I'm trying to get off it. I'm on Suboxone right now.

28:03 Rob Schneider Wait a minute. Hold on. Suboxone is a replacement therapy. Are you detoxing with Suboxone or are you using it to stop doing the heroin?

28:12 Caller I have it through a psychiatrist. He gives me a prescription.

28:16 Drew Are you still doing heroin and taking that medication?

28:19 Rob Schneider That's the question.

28:19 Drew Because that's very dangerous.

28:21 Caller I'm not on the same day.

28:24 Drew Well, at least you know what you're doing. At least you're able to space out the drugs keeping you off heroin and the heroin.

28:31 Rob Schneider Suboxone is a complex with a medicine called buprenorphine. It's kind of like methadone, it's sort of the new methadone, basically. And for people that can't get sober and can't do abstinence and really don't have the resources or whatever reason they aren't able to, it's a reasonable option because if they continue to do heroin, they will die. So you've got to make sure you get enough suboxone, Katie, that you don't also want to do the heroin. Okay? What's your question? What's your question?

28:56 Caller My main question is, I haven't had a menstrual cycle in like a couple of years and I don't think that's your biggest problem doing heroin.

29:07 Drew You're doing heroin?

29:09 Caller I'm aware of that, but I'm just worried that like it's building up inside of me and I'm going to get...

29:14 Rob Schneider No, no, there's no such thing as that.

29:16 Drew You know what's building up inside you? Heroin!

29:20 Rob Schneider Heroin raises, it actually suppresses cycling. So when people are on opiate, they typically develop what's called amenorrhea. It's due to the suppression of...

29:28 Drew You are in therapy, right?

29:30 Rob Schneider No, no, just take it...

29:31 Caller I'm in a program and I go to a psychiatrist. I've been trying to get clean for about a year now, often on...

29:37 Drew Alright, I would upgrade your friends. Redline any of your friends who are doing heroin, any friends who are doing drugs of any kind. Redline them out of your life and maybe you got a chance to survive this thing.

29:49 Rob Schneider Are you going to NA.?

29:51 Caller Um, I have to go to NA.

29:54 Rob Schneider Are you court-referred or something?

29:56 Caller Yeah.

29:57 Rob Schneider Alright, listen, Katie. It's bad times.

29:59 Caller Right?

30:00 Drew Katie, you're younger. You're 21?

30:03 Rob Schneider 21. Heroin addiction since she was 16. That's a bad prognosis.

30:06 Drew Wow, that is pretty bad prognosis. Are your parents drug addicts? Alcoholics?

30:10 Rob Schneider Probably.

30:10 Caller Not at all, actually. My parents both hold Master's degrees and have never used anything.

30:16 Rob Schneider They're not drinkers?

30:17 Caller No. There's no substance abuse in my family at all.

30:21 Rob Schneider What's your ethnic background? Where are your ancestors from?

30:24 Caller Vikings.

30:26 Rob Schneider That can have a pretty good alcohol gene component. Check the grandparents. I think you'll see something there. All right?

30:32 Caller All right. Well, thank you.

30:35 Rob Schneider But that's irrelevant for her. It doesn't help her to know that.

30:37 Drew Hey, my great grandparents were heroin addicts. It doesn't affect the situation.

30:42 Rob Schneider But here's the key. There's basically two ways to go with heroin. You can go completely abstinence. You have to spend about six months in a structured program. You got to go to NA like crazy and get a sponsor work, or you can go to replacement, which is what you're doing, and you're going because your court referred, unfortunately. So Janet, what's going on? 22.

30:56 Drew Or you could die.

30:57 Rob Schneider Which is next.

30:58 Drew Hey, what's up?

30:59 Rob Schneider Very sad.

31:00 Hi.

31:01 Drew Who is this?

31:01 Rob Schneider Janet.

31:02 Drew Janet?

31:03 Hi.

31:03 Rob Schneider What's going on?

31:05 Not much.

31:06 Drew Not much. According to what it says on the screen, a lot's going on. What's going on with you?

31:12 I've had a lot of sexual partners. Some guys were 16.

31:16 Rob Schneider How many?

31:18 63.

31:19 Rob Schneider 63?

31:20 Drew Wow.

31:21 Yes.

31:21 Drew And on your plaque, I mean, what's the order? Is it alphabetical? Is it penis size? Is it relatives first on there? Parent last? What is it usually? Is it the entire class? Your junior class? Is it the soccer team? 63 is a pretty good number.

31:41 Nobody in high school. Nothing with older men.

31:43 Drew Nothing with older men?

31:45 Nothing but older men.

31:46 Drew Nothing but older men?

31:48 Rob Schneider Are you a prostitute or something?

31:50 No. No.

31:50 Drew Okay. How long do these relationships usually last? Probably one night. You meet them one night and have sex on that night?

31:57 The longest was nine months.

31:59 Rob Schneider Wow.

31:59 Drew Okay. All right. All right. Okay.

32:01 Rob Schneider Do you like the old gray hairy balls? Is that it?

32:03 No. No.

32:05 Rob Schneider All right.

32:05 Drew Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Now, wait a minute.

32:07 Rob Schneider How dare you Anderson? How dare you?

32:08 Rob Schneider It's an Adam Sandler thing.

32:10 Drew Ah. No, you're right. That was at the time I... Okay. Here's the deal. Now, usually you go out with these guys. It's the first night. You're banging them.

32:22 Caller No. No, no, no, no.

32:24 Drew What's that?

32:25 Caller No.

32:26 Drew No?

32:27 Caller No. All right, all right. A few of the first night, but...

32:30 Drew All right, okay.

32:31 Caller All right.

32:31 Drew What did I ask? What did I ask? She said no. And then you say, all right. Okay. We're going to push the little blue button here because you're clinically insane. All right. Dr. Drew.

32:41 Rob Schneider Yes. She hasn't asked her question yet.

32:43 Drew I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know, I'm...

32:44 Rob Schneider What were you going to ask, though?

32:45 Drew I was going to say, there's so many things that we've gone over this week that she seems to fit the category of...

32:51 Rob Schneider Oh, yeah. Sexual abuse.

32:52 Drew Extremely low self-esteem, probably drugs, parents divorced, whatever. So it's a potpourri. I'm going to go with... Parents divorced, she was abused, had sex at... younger than 13. Okay. What do you think?

33:06 Rob Schneider Reasonable? Reasonable? Well, she had sexual abuse before 13.

33:08 Drew Sexual abuse before 13, for sure. Okay, let's go, Janet. What do we have? Let's open the envelope.

33:14 Rob Schneider Were you abused when?

33:16 Caller My parents are divorced. I was sexually abused and I was raped, so yeah.

33:20 Rob Schneider There you go.

33:21 Drew Okay, all right.

33:21 Rob Schneider Got trifecta going there.

33:22 Drew Just wanted to let people know I've been on the show for a few days now. Okay, so now, have you been in therapy?

33:28 Caller Um, yeah. I quit going.

33:31 Rob Schneider Why?

33:32 Caller Do I? Why?

33:33 Rob Schneider Why'd you stop?

33:34 Caller I trusted you. I couldn't open up completely to the person, so I just didn't go.

33:40 Drew Well, you know, that's one thing you gotta get over. You're gonna have to trust your therapist. I mean, that's a really, I mean, from this week, I mean, I'm a professional actor. I know what I'm talking about. This, it's really, really, really, really bad if you can't trust your therapist. That's something you're gonna have to break that barrier to want to get over this thing. Because it's not normal to have 63 sex partners and you're not a rapper.

34:04 Rob Schneider What is your question, Janet?

34:05 Caller Okay. I was wanting to know, like, what is the least amount of time it could take for me to show up or, like, the longest time it could take?

34:14 Rob Schneider Pretty much everyone. There's been recorded durations to zero conversion, meaning to say when antibodies begin to kick in, that they can be measured. I've seen measurements up to three years, but 99% are in within six months.

34:28 Caller Within six months?

34:29 Rob Schneider Why what's happening?

34:30 Drew So you're having unsafe sex too, right?

34:33 Caller Uh, yeah.

34:35 Drew With how many of these people?

34:38 Caller Um, ten has been protected.

34:41 Drew Ten out of sixty-three.

34:42 Rob Schneider Oh my god. What do you get out of sex with these guys?

34:45 Caller Um, absolutely nothing.

34:47 Rob Schneider So what are you doing?

34:48 Drew Why are you doing it?

34:50 Caller Um, a lot of times I do it when I have problems.

34:53 Rob Schneider Um, so you are getting something out of it. Yeah, you feel better about your-

34:57 Caller I feel better during, afterwards, I feel nothing. I feel-

35:00 Rob Schneider Worse?

35:01 Caller Like crap, yeah.

35:02 Rob Schneider And that makes you want to do what?

35:05 Caller Just do it again.

35:06 Rob Schneider Right, have more sex. And then that's how sexual addiction and sexual compulsion goes down usually. People get, use sex as a way of regulating unpleasant feelings. They feel good in the moment and often require high levels of arousal and all kinds of interesting things in order to get that degree of sort of euphoria from it. And then as soon as they're out, they feel ashamed, they feel guilty, they feel worse. They want to do it again.

35:27 Drew OK, here's the deal. Jen, it's like this. You are like sexually like 600 pounds and you need to cut it off by having that stomach stapled. OK, so that you need to be the biggest loser. Yes. OK. Yeah. You need to be the biggest loser. You got to stop having sex, unprotected sex with these guys who don't care anything about you. And it's self-hating and it's perpetuating behavior. It's only going to get worse and worse and worse.

35:55 Caller And you know, I've slowed down the past three years. Dramatically.

35:59 Rob Schneider Any drugs and alcohol?

36:01 Drew No, I wrote down drugs here. None. How about the people you're with? How about the people you're with?

36:05 Caller Um, yeah.

36:07 Drew Surprise!

36:08 Caller Bing!

36:09 Drew OK. But no, no, no. How about the guys you're with?

36:12 Caller No.

36:12 Drew Are they doing drugs?

36:14 Caller No.

36:15 Drew All right. OK. You gotta cut out the supply for the neighborhood, the sex supply, OK? You gotta cut it down there. And you gotta get, you gotta break through this wall if you're gonna survive. If you're gonna get through this, you gotta get your therapist in.

36:32 Rob Schneider Make sure you don't have any infections? I know I have one. You might just get checked out, make sure no tubal infections and check for chlamydia and get the HIVs.

36:36 Caller Yeah, because I've had, I've had a lot of herpes.

36:38 Rob Schneider I have herpes. You might just get checked out, make sure no tubal infections and check for chlamydia and get the HIVs.

36:44 Caller I've had a lot of problems going on in the past couple weeks.

36:47 Rob Schneider I bet. So get the HIV screen done, but make sure you just do your proper health maintenance because, boy, of all the other, forget the mental health issues, which are profound, you don't want to have any irreversible medical problems because of all this.

36:59 Drew Yeah, that's bad.

37:01 Rob Schneider Fractility is at risk.

37:02 Drew Janet, don't know more sex, all right? And you know, got 10 out of 63 wearing a condom. And guys, if you're in St. Louis, you meet a girl named Janet.

37:11 Rob Schneider Hide, jump.

37:12 Drew Put on a condom.

37:13 Rob Schneider Put on a condom.

37:14 Drew And run. Just run away. No, but Janet, go, stick it out with your therapist and break through that.

37:18 Rob Schneider And you might want to look at us in 12 Steps, some essays, something like that.

37:20 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sex Anonymous. That's a good idea.

37:24 Rob Schneider All right, it's 1-800-LOVE-191. Rob Schneider just dished out great advice. He's got Deuce Bigelow, European Bigelow coming up. Bigelow? European Jigelow will be out on DVD Tuesday, November 29th. And Rob Schneider.

37:40 Drew We got some great calls coming. This is unbelievable. It's the best night ever.

37:43 Rob Schneider And Dr. Drew, we will be right back.

37:45 Drew Excuse me?

37:59 Rob Schneider Rob Schneider in here on Loveline.

38:01 Drew Mike, in my unbelievable calls tonight, I mean, that last call, Janet, I love it. When I raise a girl that crazy, I'm always surprised that I never lived with her at one point, you know? I mean, here's a girl that's using her vagina as a neighborhood parking garage.

38:13 Rob Schneider And you never parked?

38:14 Drew Yeah, I mean, I just...

38:15 Rob Schneider Did you still kind of left out, or?

38:16 Drew I just, I don't know how, but I missed out on it.

38:18 Rob Schneider Here's one for you. This is Sarah, who's 21.

38:20 Drew Hey, Sarah.

38:21 Hey. My question is, this is a little embarrassing, but can boobs be squeezed, like, too hard?

38:30 Rob Schneider Can they be popped?

38:32 Rob Schneider Not if they're real, women.

38:34 Rob Schneider No.

38:35 Rob Schneider What's the problem there?

38:36 Drew It's a breast.

38:37 Rob Schneider You're supposed to squeeze them.

38:39 Drew What do you mean, too hard? Like, how hard's hard? I mean, you getting bruised there? What's the deal?

38:43 Not necessarily bruised, but they hurt really bad for, like, days after.

38:48 Rob Schneider Why do you do that?

38:49 Really, along with, like, bondage-domination type stuff.

38:52 Rob Schneider Oh, no.

38:53 Drew Okay, okay. First of all, okay, so let's push the blue button for a second.

38:56 Rob Schneider The blue button?

38:57 Drew The blue button. Right there. I'm going to push that. Okay. Now, here's the difference between women and guys. Okay, now, if that, she even had to make this call because she's still doing this thing. If a guy, if a woman is doing something to a guy, like, let's say he's having his nutsack, squeezed in a vice, okay? Or, or, or, you know, maybe somebody's taking, like, a, let's say, I don't know, a Philip screwdriver, and whacking one of the nuts right on the left one.

39:31 Rob Schneider A new film for you and Sandler.

39:32 Drew Or, how about stretching the sack out?

39:34 Rob Schneider Playing the ukulele, thinking about this.

39:35 Drew How about stretching the sack and then punching it? Okay, guys aren't going to let you do that again. It's not like it's going to go, ow! Don't ever do that again. But a woman, I mean, just the fact, you, you, I don't know, understand why women put up with this.

39:47 Rob Schneider Okay, well, but there's guys, too, that are into the pain thing. Now! Yeah, yeah, yeah, there are. That's like, the guys like enemas and kind of nine-tailed. Wow!

39:57 Rob Schneider Straight guys?

39:58 Rob Schneider It's hard to imagine.

39:59 Drew Straight guys?

40:00 Rob Schneider They're out there. They're not, that's what fetish is. It's weird.

40:03 Drew In Pasadena?

40:04 Rob Schneider No, no, no, no, no.

40:06 Drew All right, now, so what's the deal, Sarah? So you like Dominic's, it's being dominated in the, Dominatrix? And you like having your boobie squeezed?

40:16 Rob Schneider Yes.

40:17 Drew You do, but they hurt, they hurt, they feel good at the time, right?

40:20 Rob Schneider Yeah.

40:21 Drew Yeah, why wouldn't it?

40:22 It's really stimulating.

40:23 Drew Good.

40:24 It's really stimulating.

40:26 Drew It's really stimulating, but it hurts like heck later.

40:28 Yeah.

40:29 Drew You know what, it, and are they bruised later?

40:32 No, they just hurt.

40:33 Drew They just hurt.

40:34 Rob Schneider Well, okay.

40:35 Rob Schneider Well, you can harm yourself with this. It's not like you can't, you can cause abscesses and milk. The ducts can be inflamed and cause problems. I don't know that you can trigger something like a cancer.

40:45 Drew I don't think you can, but however, you know, anytime there's trauma, the tissues can possibly change, and then something could mutate in there, but it's not likely with the doctors saying, I'm a professional actor, I know what I'm saying. However, when let's get to the, well, I mean, why do you need that kind of stimulus? I mean, most women don't want to be squeezed. I mean, if I try to do that to one of the women I went out with, you know, I would get like my, I would get kicked in the nuts. Why do you like that?

41:08 Rob Schneider It's adventurous. It's fun.

41:10 Drew Okay, it's adventurous. It's fun. All right. Okay.

41:12 Rob Schneider All right. Do you like that every time?

41:14 No.

41:15 Rob Schneider No. Do you do other S&M rituals?

41:19 Not so much. The tying up thing kind of, but...

41:23 Drew Okay. All right. Nothing wrong with that.

41:25 Rob Schneider Well, there you go. But please...

41:26 Drew Nothing wrong. You can put that on the paper. Nothing wrong with that.

41:28 Rob Schneider Oh, nothing wrong with the S&M.

41:30 Drew Nothing wrong with tying up a little bit. So, but what's your question, though? So, so that's it. I mean...

41:34 Rob Schneider She wants to know if she can hurt herself.

41:35 Drew She can hurt herself? Yeah. I mean, it hurts. It hurts when you get squeezed or... But, I mean, where do you go from here, though, Sarah? I mean, what else do you want? I mean, is that it? I mean, where did this come from? You just started with one guy, said, let me squeeze your boobies hard. He just went for it and...

41:51 No, actually, it just happened and then it started hurting and I was kind of paranoid about it. And he said that there had never been a problem before and I guess his ex-girlfriend, like, used to do it. And I guess I'm quite a bit larger than her when it comes to boobs and so he wasn't sure whether mine could get damaged because they're bigger.

42:09 Rob Schneider In terms of pathology, boobs are boobs pretty much. You know what I mean?

42:12 Okay.

42:14 Drew Same stuff, different size. There you go. All right, sounds like you're with a really good guy, by the way.

42:18 Rob Schneider He's really good.

42:19 Rob Schneider Can I punch you in the boob? My last girlfriend let me. What's your problem? If you love me, you'll let me punch you in the boob. Hard!

42:28 Rob Schneider Joey's 14.

42:30 Drew Hey, Joey.

42:31 Caller Hey, guys.

42:32 Drew What's going on, man?

42:34 Rob Schneider Oh, not much. Oh, and Rob, I wanted to say there are guys out there that do like pain.

42:41 Drew There are.

42:42 Rob Schneider Ooh, that's Joey at 14.

42:43 Drew Joey, 14-year-old young to be so hip to that.

42:46 Rob Schneider What kind of pain do you like?

42:47 Drew Well, yeah, what are you talking about here?

42:49 Rob Schneider Oh, I'm not talking about me. I mean, my.

42:51 Rob Schneider Oh, yeah, I'm not talking about me. And daddy, get off me.

42:54 Rob Schneider He's talking about the porno he's been watching.

42:56 Drew Oh, no. So who are you talking about, then, if you're not talking about you?

42:59 Rob Schneider A friend. I don't know. A guy I met downstairs in my closet. My uncle.

43:06 Drew No. So what's the deal? So who's in pain?

43:09 Caller Who likes pain?

43:12 Rob Schneider My boyfriend likes to get his ass spanked.

43:14 Rob Schneider Oh, this is just a bonus call. Well done there, Joey. Well done. Nice try, buddy.

43:19 Drew Well, good going there, Joey.

43:21 Rob Schneider This is Matt 19.

43:23 Hey, Matt. Hey, guys. How are you doing?

43:24 Rob Schneider Good, man.

43:25 Drew What's up?

43:26 Drew, you're awesome. Rob, you're a genius.

43:28 Drew Thank you. Medical genius.

43:30 Yeah. Well, anyway, through the story, I went camping and I went swimming mistakenly in some stagnant water.

43:37 Drew Yeah, sure.

43:37 Rob Schneider What do you mean stagnant water?

43:39 I think I got like some kind of bacteria or parasite or something, swam in my penis.

43:45 Drew That's not possible.

43:46 Rob Schneider What do you mean stagnant water? What does that mean?

43:48 Like really dirty water that's like just been sitting in like a little sinkhole.

43:51 Rob Schneider Is it like sewage water?

43:53 No, no, no. I mean it's up in the mountains and stuff, but it was just kind of like green, like slimy water.

43:58 Caller Okay.

43:59 And now I have like this burning sensation with my urinate.

44:03 Rob Schneider Well, he got some bacteria in there, so that he definitely may just be a urinary infection too. It doesn't have to be.

44:08 Drew Are you having unprotected sex with any animals or woman or guy?

44:14 No, man. My girlfriend won't touch me.

44:16 Drew Okay.

44:17 Rob Schneider But before this though, why haven't you been seen by somebody?

44:20 I don't have like any medical insurance and I can't afford to go to the doctor, so I want to know.

44:23 Drew No, there's a clinic, man. You're from Stokton, right?

44:26 Yeah.

44:27 Drew Ah, gluck, gluck, gluck. There's a clinic in there. Don't ask me how I know that. No, seriously, you can just go to a clinic and get that thing checked out. It's probably not from the stagnant pool, you know, unless you're getting your wee-wee swabbed by somebody.

44:40 Rob Schneider Well, there could be. There's certain bacteria that can get in there. E coli and what not can set up some irritation there.

44:44 Drew No, I don't think that.

44:45 Rob Schneider It may not be, but it may just be a plant or urinary tract infection, which men get, and again, if he's exposed to the wrong bugs, that's what can happen.

44:53 Drew It could just be a coincidence. You were in the water.

44:55 Rob Schneider It could be a coincidence.

44:56 Drew And then you got a thing there going in there.

44:58 Rob Schneider It could be an STD.

44:59 Drew That's right. It's not fun. You should go get it checked out. You don't have to have any money. You know what? You can just push this button there.

45:06 Rob Schneider He's blue.

45:07 Drew He's five. He's number five.

45:08 Caller Five.

45:09 Drew All right.

45:09 Caller OK.

45:10 Drew Matt, do you have parents?

45:12 Caller Yeah.

45:13 Drew OK, where are they? They're in the other room.

45:16 No.

45:17 Drew Are they in the living room? You live by yourself?

45:19 Yeah. I live with a roommate, actually, my friend.

45:22 Drew How far away are they?

45:24 Oh, just around the corner.

45:25 Drew All right. Go over there. Go into their wallet. They got a hundred bucks. Go to the doctor.

45:30 Rob Schneider All right?

45:32 Drew Don't worry about it. Your dad, if he's your dad, he cares about you. He'll want you to check out your penis.

45:37 Rob Schneider But he doesn't want to hear about the STD thing necessarily.

45:39 Drew Yeah, don't tell him that.

45:40 Rob Schneider All right. That's Rob Schneider talking. I'm Dr. Drew. I'll give you the phone number here, 1-800-LOVE-191. We have one little quick break here, and Loveline will be right back. The one and only Rob Schneider in here on Loveline for his final night of this week. Thank you. We've already been talking about arranging other nights.

46:21 Drew I really enjoy this, cause I'm able to give out advice and not get sued. Yeah, same. And being a professional actor.

46:27 Rob Schneider It's amazing.

46:28 Rob Schneider The training, the training, it's just exactly right for a show like this, precisely.

46:33 Drew I mean, just the fact that I dropped out of college, several of them, gives me the, I don't know.

46:38 Rob Schneider Several colleges.

46:39 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

46:40 Rob Schneider Which ones? A junior college.

46:41 Drew Yeah, a junior, a couple of those.

46:43 Rob Schneider Like what?

46:43 Drew Spent a little time in San Francisco State.

46:45 Rob Schneider You have to say you were in San Francisco, Frisco State?

46:46 Drew Frisco, Frisco State, yeah, the Alligators, man. Go Allys.

46:49 Rob Schneider Nice. And you know what's the great thing about having you guys, you work on the show here, is we learn about you through seeing the kinds of things you are interested in in our college. And we just, for instance, learn that tying up, nothing wrong with that.

47:03 Drew Nothing wrong with that.

47:04 Rob Schneider Nothing wrong with that. Women that are sort of turned on by porn, are very sexually aggressive, little weird.

47:10 Drew Well, too much is too much.

47:12 Rob Schneider They can't be more than me.

47:13 Drew I like to think that I talk them into it. Come on, honey, let's watch it. And they're like, what's wrong with you? Let's watch more, gross or porno. Then I'm like, eww, too much. Let me be the aggressor.

47:22 Rob Schneider And anything that suggests there have been other men around, bad times. Yes, okay.

47:29 Drew Yes and no.

47:30 Rob Schneider Prostate massage, good. Facials, bad.

47:32 Drew What? What's the first thing?

47:34 Rob Schneider Prostate massage, good. Facial, you know, discharges. Bad, bad. Yeah. And yet we've learned a little bit about your medical history, too. Parathyroidectomy.

47:43 Drew Yes.

47:44 Rob Schneider For parathyroid adenomas or hyperplasia, one or the other.

47:48 Rob Schneider Yeah, I had a little something on there.

47:49 Rob Schneider A little growth, I want to know.

47:50 Drew A little on there, yeah.

47:51 Rob Schneider Okay, very interesting.

47:53 Drew Not a sexual problem.

47:54 Rob Schneider How did you present yourself? Did you come in with high calcium? Were you tired?

47:57 Drew Yeah, yeah, off the charts.

47:58 Rob Schneider Were we vomiting and that kind of thing?

48:00 Drew No, I had a kidney stone, which by the way...

48:02 Rob Schneider Oh, interesting.

48:03 Drew That was not fun.

48:04 Rob Schneider That's fun, huh?

48:05 Drew Yeah, yeah. You've had that before, too.

48:06 Rob Schneider I have not, thank God.

48:07 Drew Let me tell you, it's the most painful thing you ever had.

48:10 Rob Schneider Kidney stone.

48:10 Drew It's basically having, I don't know, like sandpaper going up your pee hole. I don't know.

48:18 Rob Schneider Well, that's the good part. The bad part is when it's in your ureter up in the back and you feel like your abdomen is going to explode. Oh, right.

48:23 Drew Well, let me tell you, and then this doctor said they had this idea, a urologist, I figure he knows what the hell he's doing. Apparently, he didn't.

48:30 Rob Schneider Put a basket up there to go get it?

48:31 Drew He put something up the pee hole, up into my kidney, and I wake up, and I got this string up inside me, and then he said, you know what? I said, did you get rid of it? Did you find it?

48:43 Rob Schneider No, they put a stand up there.

48:43 Drew I said, would you find it? He said, no, I don't find it. I said, well, what are you going to do? I got this thing, so we're going to take it out.

48:49 Rob Schneider They leave it, oh, that's fun.

48:50 Drew You're going to take it out? How are you going to do that? And he said, hold on. And I said, what? And I grabbed the railings, and he ripped this thing out. It was a tube or a little rope all the way up my peel.

49:02 Rob Schneider Hold on, let's see, what they do is they go in with a scope, and they go to the ureter, because if the stone lodges in the ureter, which is the outflow from the kidney to the bladder, your kidney will shut down and you lose your kidney. So they put a little, they put basically a tube that bypasses the stone, so the ureter can keep draining out. In order to get the tube out, the tube has a little tiny hair-like wire attached to it that comes out the tip of the penile and so the next day he said hold on hang on we're gonna take this thing out we're gonna put me out right nah rip it was awful I mean it was one of the I was I was peeing sideways for about two weeks after that I was I was having to sit down and pee or your wiper spray all over every time you go somewhere I had to use a sneeze guard on both sides and it hurts yeah I like peeing fire I didn't feel good thing fire not good no I don't recommend it how old were you jeez I was like early 20s ridiculous oh my god other medical problems that's it allergies to medication smoke cigarettes no no I did smoke cigars because it was trendy now I don't mind being a jumping on the end of any trend but now I'm pretty healthy now I don't do anything social history sexual abuse physical abuse nothing I remember a doctor touch me please this is Roxy 15 Roxy hi hey sup Roxy hey hey hey hey when I think of lonely things I'm something that the Bee Gees have joined us again tonight I can never think of rock see what's up Roxy hi I'm in a relationship with someone you have a relationship you do with that voice how's that that's sexual abuse okay go ahead go ahead you have a relationship with somebody I've been in the relationship with somebody for like almost two years now two years when you were 13 yeah and it's another girl and how old was she when you started the relationship she was 22 so she's a she's she's an abuser the criminal also okay yeah yeah how was she now 24 no I said she's 22 I'm 15 right now that's illegal illegal for a 20 year old to be with a 13 year old which is when you started this how do you know this person I mean how does relationship start babysitter how do you know how did you how did you have this relationship Roxy how did you meet her online no in the neighborhood she just lives around and oh all right and why he's a cool person she's cool yeah yeah yeah she's a criminal Roxy she wants some candy it's in my pocket Roxy reach for it Roxy this is not a candy okay to my pocket Roxy get it whether or not your hand in there whether she's a criminal is nothing to do with your opinion she's a criminal she's a criminal okay so what's the what's what's your question and you're still seeing her right um yeah okay she had to see other people besides you though right um we actually see other people yeah sure why not how old were you when you were sexually abused why would you want to take their relationship and keep it yourself like two or so when you're first sexually abused no I was actually in like a straight-edge group before a why like a straight-edge group and straight-edge group yeah which is like a youth group you know a youth group and we believe in like till abstinence and like I wasn't really doing anything before I met her but like we started like masturbating together like so she is she abused you and that's what got this all going no yeah yeah that's why I mean so your first sexual experience of any kind touching yourself with this girl what your first sexual experience of any kind the first time you touch yourself was with this girl yeah okay all right sexual abuse when she's 20 and you're 13 that's not okay I'm 15 I know but you were 13 when this first happened okay but that was whatever you know you guys are being kind of mean to me well there's a reason for it we're worried about Jim Roxy is not normal to be in this situation with somebody who's in and you know who's 22 and you're 15 I mean you know when you're 22 you will retch if you think of people your age being with a 15 year old now I know for you it seems cool now because she's an older person and she's cool and she's into you she's it is a very serious problem she has a car it sounds like what really sets you reeling was this lunch money actually sexually abused you when you were 13 that's what happened now for her when I was 18 because we just would kiss and I would hang out at her place is totally innocent and then you started masturbating together how were you when that started like 14 all right that's when she sexually abused you then at 14 instead of 13 I take it all back Roxy's perfectly normal I suspect something more was happening to you at home what's going on with your home life I mean that's uh you know you tell mom and dad mom dad I'm gonna go uh over her uh what's your fate a 20 year old's house and we're gonna masturbate together while we watch the Flintstones no like she can doubt it and my parents they totally love her oh if they know yeah yeah yeah did you do you know what did you tell your parents know what kind of relationship you had do they know that you uh first of all won't you share that with them see where this goes see how they how that maybe they can help you kind of extract yourself first of all did you think you were a lesbian I don't know okay well that's fine but stay with people your own age be with women that are that much older than yourself it's and you know what it's do you get along good with your mom or dad they divorce what's the deal I'm adopted and they work all the time how old were you when you were adopted so they work all the time she's not in there how old were you and how old yeah you were two why were you adopted it too that's horribly traumatic I don't know any tell me like when I was 11 so like really weird what they told you that you were adopted when you were 11 all right so really something very now you sound like you're two now I asked you before when you know why I do not well you remember you have that little baby baby voice if you remember that's not a way like a 15 year old doesn't like a Bee Gees the open my opening question to you is you were sexually abused when you were three right because you sound like a two or a three year old and that's you do that's you just do you better you better learn to accept that because that's what you sound like and that means that something really serious happened you're telling us that something did happen and boy you may want to look into this because it's being sort of acted out now unfortunately your parents not being home is sort of creating an opportunity therapy well therapy some professional supervision is really get out of that don't see that 20 year old anymore I know your own age you it makes sense and it seems cool but mark my words please remember these words this is not going to go well for you okay Taylor 24 oh Doug drew came down hard no no I wanted to yeah Taylor Taylor hey right I'm good man what's up not much I have a question for both you but mainly Dr. Drew assume I don't know I'm a professional actor all right actually comedian I was walking in Pasadena like five years ago and was behind you sorry about that cheesecake factory hang on here Wow Oh Taylor he has a good question to let him cool down a little bit we'll come back to you when you we lost him this is a Freddie 21 hey Freddie he left by the way just what people wonder what happened to a Taylor is you dropped a big old f-bomb right right in middle of the air yeah all right Freddie during my last night what's up Freddie all right well here's the thing here's the thing I've been with this girl yeah right here's the thing yeah seven months right four plus three seven months yeah and you know we've been talking you know we've been getting pretty serious lately and talking no no it's very serious you actually communicate with her you use words well a little more than words okay all right okay now what's the deal Freddie get to it man I've been you know we talked one time and I found out that she's using the dog to get off what yeah she has a black lab and she's using the dog to get off get off yeah to get an orgasm oh how is that possible she says she hasn't licked her vagina and I'm just I'm just thinking how pathetic men are that the black lab can do a better job than a 16-year-old male human Freddie Freddie buddy buddy buddy you gotta learn how to please her more than schnauzer there all right Freddie did she say that did you try to talk her into this is just something she she said she's doing this she might be just trying to break you up break up with you that's what I'm my guess is Freddie I don't know cuz like we've been getting pretty serious lately and like wow yeah sounds like it well it's truth of the day when you're coming home cuz uh cuz I'm thinking about having the dog go down on me till about seven so you can get here on eight then we can have a little dinner and I don't know maybe I'll go down on the dog by 930 so what will you how can you get serious after that I don't know cuz that's pretty sick you know what's your question yeah yeah well like what do I do do I hardcore dumper or just okay bogus there's no question absolutely no question now that's the thing that's like that one of the mythology things you know it's like there's a birthday party and some know over the years rise party and then girl puts you know the lady getting pleasured by the dog puts peanut butter someplace and then but they're in the and she walks out and so it happens but no no no I mean that's just a myth it's mythology I remember once I talked to one that would insist it on this show yeah that she could get her cat to do this and it was a weird cause it was you know when somebody's really doing this kind of stuff it gives you a cold eerie feeling and I remember thinking oh I think this person really is talking about something she does yeah that's that's creepy all right here we go this is a Charmaine Charmaine 31 from Santa Cruz hi guys what's up I want to know can I get a jet-froat from giving a blowjob or can I give a bacterial section from giving a blowjob with jet-froat are you Australian no she's British darling yeah hello well I think this you know what kind of blowjob is it is it like a normal one a tape one is it tape-froated oh is it is it is it a nice one I just do you like it do you like it you love it you love it oh my I love it you love it well first of all yeah you whether if the guy had no not strep but if the guy has something she can absolutely get yes you can get STDs and give something you can get something but strep per se no if you've got a sore throat from giving a blow dog it's chlamydia or gonorrhea to prove and otherwise or a really gigantic penis or trauma yeah okay in terms of giving strep strep doesn't usually cause urethral infection cause skin infection but there's some sort of break in the skin so what's your symptoms no I had just like a couple years ago I had strep and went to herniated but I was just you know came away wondering like huh I wonder if I could have given men thing from having strep with a blow job you know well you tested for strep did they grow strep out of the cultures yeah I was like on a holiday with him for a few days and came down with and they tested you for strep and you definitely had a strep yeah I'd and what did he have any problems are you worried about you got it or gave it I didn't speak to him after that really yeah I never knew you know if I never found out what are you doing in this country living here but I'm curious I mean you just can't you're you wanted to come down here so what was yours what I know what no what brought you over here what I mean you're in Santa Cruz my dad's here and I am from England can go to Santa Cruz if they want so I want to hear this is an exotic place when you're a story how did you get a passport and come to this country goodness I was one of those kids from a divorced family I got about the age of 20 and realized I really need to get my father because I had all these fears and insecurities you'd have an absentee father so I came out of the house and I am at the time I want sound good well well that was a very interesting accent thank you you're very King says move on I spent six months in England did you really don't want I was doing a bad movie over there did it did it something we would know movie dread it was fun all right it's cool it was fun to do ready not good hello what do we got well Reni Reni Rene Rene Rene hi Rene hi Rene and Saddle what's up 25 what's what's up with you I'm 25 um all right I've been in love with this guy for about four years and we were together for two and I mean I've seriously been in love with them and like in serious love like I can't I haven't been able to have a relationship with another guy I haven't even looked at another guy and just recently about two weeks ago I was with a woman for like the first time I'm not gay or I'm not I'm not bisexual I've never even thought about another woman and but I was with a woman and now I'm just like I I don't know I feel like I cheated or I just feel kind of about it.

1:03:02 Rob Schneider Is it rebound? I mean because I'm not gay but I don't.

1:03:05 Drew Alright okay alright.

1:03:06 Rob Schneider Well now are you seeking refuge from men?

1:03:10 Drew Was it a bad relationship you had with this guy? It was good right?

1:03:12 Rob Schneider Yeah it was really good. I mean I learned a lot about myself.

1:03:16 Drew Alright no no did you like this? I mean is this a relationship? Was it a one-night kind of thing or something you want to do again or what?

1:03:23 Rob Schneider Yeah well she was really cool. I mean it was like we talked and it's not what I asked and it's not what I asked.

1:03:29 Drew I said did you something you want to do again? I don't know. Video tape it? I mean send it to us?

1:03:35 Rob Schneider Maybe, maybe, maybe. I mean it wasn't a bad experience but it just.

1:03:41 Drew But you're not, you're clearly not, you're saying you're not a lesbian. You're saying it was something that just happened. Now you're worried are you gonna be a lesbian technically from this? No. What are you worried about? It was, you had a.

1:03:52 Rob Schneider What's the question?

1:03:52 Drew Well yeah, what are you worried about? What's going on?

1:03:55 Rob Schneider I guess.

1:03:56 Drew You're worried that you can't go back to guys now?

1:03:58 Rob Schneider No.

1:03:59 Drew Well what is it?

1:03:59 Rob Schneider The question I guess is just, I mean, like why a woman? I mean, would it, I mean.

1:04:06 Rob Schneider I just love Renee's impatience.

1:04:08 Rob Schneider No.

1:04:09 Rob Schneider Why a woman? It sounds like Renee, it sounds like you were just sort of seeking refuge from men. Even though you hadn't been necessarily sort of.

1:04:18 Drew Renee.

1:04:18 Rob Schneider Brutalized by men. You were sort of hiding out. First of all.

1:04:22 Drew She went to, she had some drinks with somebody. She kind of trusted. And it's like she felt comfortable enough to.

1:04:28 Rob Schneider Have sex with her.

1:04:29 Drew To have sex with her, which is like, that's okay. That's absolutely fine.

1:04:32 Rob Schneider But she's saying why a woman? Because she couldn't look at another man.

1:04:35 Drew Well, you know what? For one thing, she probably felt safer and more comfortable with this person because she just got out of this relationship and she associates guys with another relationship.

1:04:44 Rob Schneider Right.

1:04:44 Drew So emotionally, this was a safer thing to do.

1:04:46 Rob Schneider So guys would mean.

1:04:49 Drew That makes sense, right?

1:04:50 Rob Schneider Guys would mean vulnerability. But Renee, here's the two issues. Guys would mean vulnerability and hurt again. And more importantly, it would mean you'd have to let go of the guy you're obsessing about. Maybe, yeah, you know, and you don't, you're not.

1:05:03 Drew For the first time this week, Dr. Drew is making sense.

1:05:05 Rob Schneider You're not doing that.

1:05:06 Drew First time. All that drug advice is bogus.

1:05:08 Rob Schneider You have to let go. What's that?

1:05:10 Rob Schneider I told Rob to shut up so I could hear you, Drew.

1:05:13 Drew I'm going to push the blue button right now, bitch. Listen up. Renee.

1:05:16 Rob Schneider You have to let go.

1:05:17 Drew You know what? That guy you dumped, dabbed this thing, whatever. I just want to say, you know what? Big deal. So you had a relationship with this woman.

1:05:26 Rob Schneider So what?

1:05:27 Drew It was sexual, you know, he was safer, whatever. But next go.

1:05:33 Rob Schneider Real quickly, was this guy, was this guy, with you, was this guy your first boyfriend?

1:05:40 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:05:40 Rob Schneider Okay.

1:05:41 Rob Schneider Yeah, well, he was my first love, I guess.

1:05:43 Rob Schneider Yeah. The first one is extremely difficult to let go of, Renee. And it's, do you also have a loss? Did you lose your dad when you were young or something?

1:05:51 Rob Schneider No, no.

1:05:52 Drew Okay, but wow, I was just swinging a miss right there.

1:05:55 Rob Schneider Maybe, I don't know, I can't let go, but that, I want to say to both of you, that's really true. Like, I haven't let go and I don't even know how. I can't even believe I'm freaking talking to you guys right now.

1:06:05 Drew I can't either. I mean, keep it to yourself, your sexual problems. Geez, you call people on the phone to talk about your sex? What a weirdo. What kind of family raised you? Seattle's a bunch of weirdos up there. No, hey, listen. You know what, Renee? We figured out the problem. Okay, you called us.

1:06:24 Rob Schneider So how does she let go now?

1:06:25 Drew How does she let go? By continuing to have sexual relations with other women.

1:06:29 Rob Schneider Well, but with her, the women is sort of a by.

1:06:32 Drew It's safer. It's an in-between thing.

1:06:34 Rob Schneider I'm not really saying goodbye to this guy because I'm with a girl.

1:06:37 Drew However, it's a first step. It's a baby step.

1:06:39 Rob Schneider She needs to see guys.

1:06:40 Drew This is a baby step. Go out with a guy, mix it up. Then from now on, you make it a routine. When you break up with a guy, have a lesbian affair. Mix it up. Make it interesting for yourself and your friends. Call us. Mail us pictures. It's all good.

1:06:55 Rob Schneider Time will make it easier.

1:06:56 Drew Yes. You're a Lesbo for a night. God love you. Nothing wrong with it. It's trendy. By the way, it's a trendy thing. It's easier now for a woman to have this. Also, I would say not hardcore lesbians, but I'll just say lesbians. It's kind of a turn on for gay people to take somebody who's more straight and then cross them over into gay land for that evening. Take an E-gay ride ticket, go on that E-gay rollercoaster, swing it up and down, and that's a kind of a turn on. God love them for it.

1:07:26 Rob Schneider The reality is, Renee, this guy that you can't let go of now, as you gain greater facility with sort of assessing somebody in a relationship, starting them up and breaking them up, you wouldn't spend 20 minutes worrying about this guy. Three relationships from now, as you learn who you are, what you want from a man, this guy, you would not waste 20 minutes, let alone six months obsessing about the other guy.

1:07:46 Drew But he's going to be better off because you're angry. You got some issues, real bad ones.

1:07:49 Rob Schneider I beg to differ, I like Renee.

1:07:52 Drew She's too angry for me. She told me shut up, I don't like that.

1:07:55 Rob Schneider She's sexy though. I bet she's one of those. Ask her about that.

1:08:00 Drew Renee, you're angry, aren't you? You're an angry dancer.

1:08:05 Rob Schneider No, no, Rob's a little sort of intimidated by sexual women, so do you like pornography?

1:08:11 Rob Schneider Do I like pornography?

1:08:12 Drew Yeah.

1:08:13 Rob Schneider Well, yeah, you know.

1:08:16 Drew From way downtown, Dr. Drew, 40 foot in the nothing but net.

1:08:22 Rob Schneider So that's your anger, she's scary.

1:08:24 Drew She's a little power, she's got some power things. She's a dancer, so she's very-

1:08:27 Rob Schneider Ooh, she's a dancer.

1:08:28 Drew She's a dancer, she can tell she's very confident about herself.

1:08:30 Rob Schneider You're a dancer?

1:08:31 Drew Sexual. Yeah.

1:08:32 Rob Schneider No, I'm not a dancer.

1:08:35 Drew What are you then?

1:08:36 Rob Schneider I'm a waitress.

1:08:38 Rob Schneider Oh.

1:08:40 Drew I thought you said she was a dancer. I wanted her to be a dancer. I admit it. I have problems. I like dancers.

1:08:46 Rob Schneider Oh my God, this is awesome. Okay. God damn it, I keep giving you more information about myself. Weirded out by the aggressive self.

1:08:53 Drew I like dancers.

1:08:54 Rob Schneider Not even just the- this one wasn't even aggressive. She was just sexual. She was confident. I hate that. That freaks you out.

1:08:59 Drew She had this self-esteem creeping up into her.

1:09:02 Rob Schneider I don't like that. You got to have the broken ones. Broken, good.

1:09:05 Drew I don't want that self-esteem in the way.

1:09:07 Rob Schneider Broken, good.

1:09:08 Drew What fun is that?

1:09:09 Rob Schneider S&M tying up. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. Okay. We're going to hear more about Rob Schneider and his preferences after this. Yep.

1:09:18 Drew Love Line will be back.

1:09:19 Rob Schneider Glad to hear it.

1:09:26 Rob Schneider That's right, it's Love Line. We didn't hear any of that intro music, so I couldn't tell we were coming on the air. Rob Schneider, our guest tonight. Yeah. He wants to talk to another Sarah.

1:09:36 Drew What do we got?

1:09:36 Rob Schneider 25.

1:09:37 Drew Sarah. 25. She sounds hot.

1:09:40 Rob Schneider But that will freak you out. You won't like her then.

1:09:42 Drew I won't like her, but she's hot.

1:09:43 Rob Schneider What's up, Sarah?

1:09:44 Drew What's up?

1:09:44 Caller Hi. I had a question for you.

1:09:48 Caller My younger stepsister recently professed to me that she was gay. Well, not recently, but she professed to me that she was gay.

1:09:58 Drew How old is she?

1:09:59 Caller She was about 14 at the time. And I was trying to be totally supportive of her. And I was like, well, that's cool. You know, if you're gay, that's fine.

1:10:08 Drew You know, how old is she now?

1:10:10 Caller She's about 18.

1:10:13 Drew OK. All right. Yeah, she professed this four years ago. She came out. Did she come out to your whole family?

1:10:20 Caller Not not not at first. No, she came out to me first.

1:10:22 Drew And did you grow up with her?

1:10:26 Caller No, no, no.

1:10:27 Drew All right. So she she's adopted a marriage thing.

1:10:31 Caller It's a marriage thing.

1:10:33 Drew How many years ago?

1:10:34 Rob Schneider I mean, it's a Brady Bunch. It's a very bunch of so many years ago.

1:10:39 Drew Did this do the families come together in such bliss?

1:10:43 Caller Seven years ago.

1:10:44 Drew OK, so three years after three years, she comes out at 14. She says, I'm gay.

1:10:49 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:10:50 Drew All right. Sounds good so far.

1:10:52 Caller What's your question?

1:10:53 Caller Then then about two years later, she came out and told me that that she was in love with me. And I didn't really know what to say.

1:11:04 Rob Schneider You know, and still she is say, let me, Sarah, let me, honey, get you some help.

1:11:09 Drew Yeah.

1:11:10 Rob Schneider This is this is a real serious boundary problem. And she is crying out for help.

1:11:16 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:11:18 Drew She has other issues.

1:11:19 Caller I imagine it took a lot of guts in the first place to say that, you know, she was gay and then try to tell the rest of the family. And then, yeah.

1:11:26 Drew Well, she's confusing. She's confusing feeling safe and okay with you with love. And that's, that's not really what the thing is.

1:11:33 Rob Schneider I'm imagining lots more chaos with her than just this.

1:11:36 Caller Probably. Yeah.

1:11:37 Rob Schneider Oh yes.

1:11:38 Caller And you know, I do like her.

1:11:40 Drew Do you get along with her?

1:11:42 Caller Yeah, I mean, we get along. I don't like to like her, you know.

1:11:44 Rob Schneider No, no, no, no.

1:11:45 Drew I mean, you like her.

1:11:46 Rob Schneider I care about her.

1:11:48 Caller Yeah, definitely.

1:11:49 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:11:49 Drew Well, get her some help. Is she, is she getting therapy right now?

1:11:54 Caller No.

1:11:55 Rob Schneider All right.

1:11:55 Drew Do you know if she's ever been abused?

1:11:57 Caller Um, no.

1:11:58 Rob Schneider This is, this is.

1:12:00 Caller I mean, we had a, we had a family.

1:12:02 Drew You had a what?

1:12:03 Caller Yeah.

1:12:04 Rob Schneider I guess you could say, yeah.

1:12:06 Drew Oh, oh, oh, back up. This is a busy busy busy busy busy. Sarah, what? You had a very sexual family?

1:12:11 Caller No, I just, dysfunctional.

1:12:13 Drew Dysfunctional. I'm sorry, I'm hearing stuff.

1:12:15 Rob Schneider Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:12:17 Drew Yeah, dysfunctional family. Okay, well, they're divorced and kind of going in there, 11 years old, coming into a new family. That's pretty traumatic.

1:12:25 Rob Schneider It is, but this is even more than that. This is somebody.

1:12:27 Drew Sounds like she's abused.

1:12:30 Rob Schneider Yeah, this is character, what we call character logic. Something's really up with her and she's all over the place. And she's asking for help. So let's take her to somebody who.

1:12:38 Drew Get her to see somebody.

1:12:39 Rob Schneider All right. And she'll come to be very supportive.

1:12:42 Caller Like, like, bind and gag her, throw her in the back of the car.

1:12:45 Rob Schneider And you know, you talk to her.

1:12:46 Drew No, no, no. You talk to her. Here's what you do.

1:12:48 Rob Schneider She's, she's eroticizing her relationship with you.

1:12:50 Drew You talk to her while you're bounding and gagging her and then putting her in the car and taking her to see a therapist. Well, no, no, if you care about her, huh?

1:12:58 Caller I had to be like, this is not okay, you know?

1:13:00 Drew Well, no, no, no, no, no. You don't have to make a judgment on it. You don't have to make it make her feel bad. I'm gonna push the blue button, cause she's talky talky. You don't have to make a judgment call on it, Sarah. The fact of the matter is you just say, you know what? This isn't okay. You know, there's, and-

1:13:13 Rob Schneider I wouldn't even be that negative. I just, I would, you're right. You're getting on the right track there, but it's, she idealizes you. She's eroticizing it. So be very supportive, very non-confrontative and say, you know-

1:13:23 Drew Make out with her as you're going to the therapist.

1:13:25 Rob Schneider Not quite that much. Okay, all right, back up, back up, back up. I care about you very much, but I've been noticing, I'm concerned about you, and let's go talk to somebody about this, because this probably isn't going to work out, but I don't want you to be hurt by this, okay? That sort of thing. Here's somebody who shares Rob's passion for what's called nephrolithiasis.

1:13:42 Drew Oh my goodness.

1:13:42 Rob Schneider Cameron22.

1:13:43 Drew Cameron, what's up?

1:13:44 Caller Hey, how you doing? I got a two-part question, if that's okay.

1:13:47 Drew What do you got, man?

1:13:48 Caller All right, for you, Rob, I was wondering, has anyone ever said you're like an Adam Sandler, Adam Corolla wannabe or anything like that?

1:13:57 Drew Sometimes.

1:13:58 Rob Schneider I got a little bit of that.

1:13:59 Drew What does that mean? I wouldn't say wannabe. I've been friends with him for 20 years. I think that's pretty good. I love Adam Corolla, though. He's one of my- Idols. He's one of my- I love him. He's a really funny guy. I like him. I love doing this show. But anyway, Cameron, I wish you the best.

1:14:16 Rob Schneider And enjoy passing that kidney stone. Nephrothiasis is the technical term for kidney stone. Dave 22.

1:14:21 Drew What's up, Dave?

1:14:24 Rob Schneider Dave, turn your radio off, buddy. Turn down the radio, Dave. There you are. Good evening. What's up?

1:14:34 Rob Schneider I have a question about the feelings I'm having for a girl I've seen.

1:14:39 Rob Schneider Sounds bogus, but go ahead. We'll listen.

1:14:43 Rob Schneider You got me.

1:14:44 Rob Schneider All right, let's go.

1:14:45 Drew Thank you, Dave.

1:14:46 Rob Schneider God bless you for outing. That's playing by the rules. Thank you. You're welcome to call back with the bogus call anytime.

1:14:53 Drew That was a good one, Dave. You represent your town of Modesto very proudly.

1:14:59 Rob Schneider You see what he did, though? The Geneva Convention on Bogosity is when we call you out, you say, okay, you got me, and then you call back again with something else.

1:15:08 Rob Schneider I'll think of something. I'll talk quicker next time.

1:15:10 Rob Schneider 16.

1:15:11 Rob Schneider I'm sorry. Hey, what's up?

1:15:14 Rob Schneider Hey, Sean. I got kind of a two-part thing.

1:15:17 Rob Schneider Yeah, man.

1:15:18 Rob Schneider First, I wanted to talk about pain during sex.

1:15:22 Rob Schneider Yes.

1:15:23 Drew Why wouldn't you want to talk about pain during sex?

1:15:25 Rob Schneider Yes.

1:15:25 Drew That's the first part.

1:15:26 Rob Schneider Okay. You guys are talking about it. Yes. I'm not afraid to say it. I do kind of like it. It is kind of nice.

1:15:32 Rob Schneider What do you like, Don? What do you like?

1:15:34 Rob Schneider Well, that kind of brings me into my next point because-

1:15:37 Drew You're like, there's kind of a gray area there of pain. It means you're like a little spanking.

1:15:40 Rob Schneider There is a very distinct line that will not be crossed.

1:15:42 Drew Trampled by horses. I mean, where are we talking here?

1:15:46 Rob Schneider Well, I know where it came from because the first girl to ever blow me, I can say that right?

1:15:51 Rob Schneider Blow?

1:15:52 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:15:53 Rob Schneider The first girl to ever blow me.

1:15:55 Rob Schneider Yes.

1:15:56 Rob Schneider She was nice enough to blow me. I will never forget the first girl who ever blow me.

1:16:03 Rob Schneider That's really weird. It sounds like a bullwinkle. That scares me. Thanks.

1:16:07 Rob Schneider Hey, Rocky. Why don't you blow me? Let me pull the rabbit out of my head. Let me make him blow me.

1:16:15 Drew So what's your question, man?

1:16:16 Rob Schneider Come on.

1:16:17 Rob Schneider Okay. She was 22.

1:16:20 I was 14.

1:16:21 Drew Oh, sure. Yeah, that's real.

1:16:23 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:16:23 Drew Yeah. Okay, go on. It's like winning the sexual lottery as a 14-year-old.

1:16:27 Rob Schneider Good Lord.

1:16:29 Rob Schneider He liked pulling guys' hair and biting their necks.

1:16:32 Drew Fabulous. She sounds great.

1:16:34 Rob Schneider Yeah, good girl.

1:16:35 Drew Nice girl. Nothing wrong with that. Winner.

1:16:38 Rob Schneider I really like that. Okay.

1:16:40 Rob Schneider What's the question?

1:16:41 Rob Schneider So anyway, but the question was, is do you really consider that kind of distance of age sexual abuse? The way you talked about it with that one girl.

1:16:52 Rob Schneider No, no, I said it was illegal. I think I said she was a criminal.

1:16:56 Drew Sounds like you are a willing participant.

1:16:57 Rob Schneider But here's the issue, Sean.

1:16:59 Drew I feel like I need to take a shower just listening to this guy's voice. I gotta wash my hands.

1:17:03 Rob Schneider What I was referencing was that she was 14 or 13, which under 14 sort of cut off, but 13, 12, I call that sexual abuse. And then I said she was a criminal just as your partner was. Technically, yeah. Yeah, by definition. It's not my definition. It's the fact.

1:17:19 Drew If that person happened to be your social studies teacher, she could go to jail for that.

1:17:24 Rob Schneider Well, she could go to jail whoever she is.

1:17:26 Rob Schneider Pretty much, yeah.

1:17:27 Drew So your question is you like it?

1:17:31 Rob Schneider Wait, what? Okay, sure.

1:17:32 Rob Schneider What's your question?

1:17:34 Rob Schneider So, yeah, so that was basically my question. That's it.

1:17:37 Rob Schneider I was wondering about this.

1:17:38 Rob Schneider I actually have been sexually abused.

1:17:40 Rob Schneider You have?

1:17:41 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:17:42 Rob Schneider When I was eight.

1:17:43 Rob Schneider Yeah, we can hear it. Was it by a guy?

1:17:45 Rob Schneider Thanks. Yeah.

1:17:47 Rob Schneider Yeah, I can hear that too. Wow. Is it sort of screwed with your sexual identity a little bit?

1:17:53 Rob Schneider No. No. It kind of used to, but not anymore.

1:17:57 Rob Schneider That was the question. All right. That's good that you've sort of figured things out, but it does tend to make it difficult to figure things out.

1:18:03 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:18:03 Drew It's much, you're making it much more tougher to make fun of you now.

1:18:06 Rob Schneider And it makes you a good victim. Once you've been victimized, the victimizers seek you out.

1:18:10 Drew They find you.

1:18:10 Rob Schneider It's amazing, isn't it?

1:18:12 Drew Yeah.

1:18:12 Rob Schneider All right, let's talk to Tam, who's 27.

1:18:15 Drew I feel like I have to take a shower after that call.

1:18:16 Rob Schneider Go ahead.

1:18:17 Drew Hey, Tam.

1:18:17 Rob Schneider We'll squirt you down during the break. Tam?

1:18:20 Drew Yep.

1:18:20 Rob Schneider Hey, what's up?

1:18:21 Rob Schneider Hi there.

1:18:23 Rob Schneider Hello. Hello. Rob, you attract the British way.

1:18:25 Drew Hello. How are you?

1:18:26 Rob Schneider I heard you had a ghost girl call, so I thought, you know.

1:18:29 Rob Schneider Cool.

1:18:29 Drew Thank you. Great.

1:18:30 Rob Schneider What's up?

1:18:32 Rob Schneider Hiya. I wanted to get back to the topic about the other lady that said that women don't like to watch porn.

1:18:39 Rob Schneider No.

1:18:40 Rob Schneider So far, no one has said that tonight.

1:18:43 Drew I said that it's not like most women don't get anything out of it.

1:18:46 Rob Schneider It's a certain percentage.

1:18:47 Rob Schneider I'd like to disagree with that.

1:18:49 Drew Really?

1:18:49 Rob Schneider Well, no. That's just statistically the case.

1:18:52 Rob Schneider I don't think so.

1:18:53 Rob Schneider No.

1:18:54 Rob Schneider I don't know about America. I'm quite new over here, but in Britain, most women I know have a decent size porn collection.

1:19:00 Drew Have a decent size porn collection?

1:19:02 Rob Schneider I understand most women you know do, but statistically, it's not that likely to occur.

1:19:07 Drew I got to concur with the great Dr. Drew here. Most women aren't into watching porno.

1:19:12 Rob Schneider I don't know.

1:19:13 Rob Schneider If you go back to the 15th century and kind of read from the literature there, women are always depicted as the kind of great temptresses. It was the men that were seen as the very kind of upright citizens, the guys that never weren't particularly into it. They had to shatter their eyes and they had to leave.

1:19:31 Drew But who was writing this stuff? Who was writing this?

1:19:35 Rob Schneider I've just read it in various articles. I can't remember the names of the subjects.

1:19:40 Rob Schneider Don't confuse social historical context with biology.

1:19:43 Drew With porn.

1:19:44 Rob Schneider And the biology has been sort of worked out now.

1:19:47 Rob Schneider I think women are just as far into it. I think it's more of a duty.

1:19:51 Drew Tam, Tam, Tam, relax. Tam, you can be into it and that's okay.

1:19:55 Rob Schneider Yeah, it's great.

1:19:55 Drew That's obviously fine.

1:19:56 Rob Schneider And a lot of women are into it.

1:19:58 Drew And that's, I'm saying that you're not, I'm not saying we're, you're not abnormal. You're just kinda on the more sluttier side. In a British way.

1:20:06 Rob Schneider I like her.

1:20:07 Drew No, no, no, no, she's fine. I'm just teasing. No, she's okay.

1:20:09 Rob Schneider The fact is that, then this is the fact.

1:20:12 Drew She's comfortable with their sexuality.

1:20:14 Rob Schneider Most women, when they're looking at visual sexual imagery, this is a scientific fact based on neural imaging, do not have appetite of response. They get a rattle.

1:20:23 Drew Some women do if they're wired more like a guy.

1:20:25 Rob Schneider Correct. But the predominant majority. So she's wired like a guy. Correct. And that's still millions of women. But it's not most women.

1:20:33 Drew So there's a stimulus that you like and that's absolutely fine.

1:20:35 Rob Schneider Enjoy. With that, we'll take a little break.

1:20:39 Drew Enjoy your porn. Enjoy your huge collection of British porn.

1:20:43 Rob Schneider And bring other women around.

1:20:44 Drew Which, by the way, British porn, they don't shave a lot. It's just all, it's ever, you can't just ask her, isn't it, everywhere? The British porn, it's just everything's hanging out. People aren't in as good shape and not as many fake boobs in the British porn collection, right?

1:20:56 Rob Schneider No, they're all natural.

1:20:58 Drew Hey, I read that.

1:21:03 Rob Schneider Heard about it.

1:21:04 Rob Schneider Wow, now it's Charles Nelson Riley. It's awesome.

1:21:06 Rob Schneider I heard about it.

1:21:09 Rob Schneider All right, it's 1-800-LOVE-191. That's our number here at Loveline. Rob Schneider is in with us. Just yet another 20 minutes. We have 20 minutes to give him a call. I'm Dr. Drew. Call up.

1:21:19 Drew Tell us about your porn collection.

1:21:21 Rob Schneider After this.

1:21:29 Caller Love Line will be right back.

1:21:38 Rob Schneider That's right, it's NubLime. 1-800-HELLO-BIG.

1:21:42 Drew Loveline.

1:21:43 Rob Schneider Take a few more calls. So here is Patrick is 20. You're on with Rob Schneider.

1:21:47 Drew Hey, Patrick.

1:21:48 Rob Schneider Hey, how's it going, gentlemen?

1:21:51 Drew 917, I can just tell from the energy it's fake.

1:21:53 Rob Schneider Oh, of course, but it sounds like it's gonna be good fake.

1:21:55 Drew Good, yeah, what do you got going on?

1:21:57 Rob Schneider So go ahead, Patrick.

1:21:58 Rob Schneider Well, pretty much I'm dating this girl, and she wants me to poop on her. And I was wondering, can a urethra infection, by doing that, it fail?

1:22:09 Drew No, go for it, man. Don't worry about it. Enjoy.

1:22:12 Rob Schneider She wants you to poop on her?

1:22:14 Rob Schneider Yeah, I mean, pretty much she wants me to take a crap on her chest.

1:22:18 Rob Schneider And what does that have to do with her urethra?

1:22:21 Rob Schneider Yeah, yeah, exactly.

1:22:23 Rob Schneider What does that have to do with her urethra?

1:22:26 Rob Schneider I mean, well, the thing is, if I'm like, having like, you know, sex with her, you can't even figure out the elements.

1:22:35 Rob Schneider I heard his friend in the background going, Ah, of course.

1:22:40 Drew That was good, man.

1:22:41 Rob Schneider You know, we used to get stuff like that on Loveline, the TV show, the producers would put through these bogus calls and they'd have them so well coached that we couldn't crack them. They'd be like, I know this bogus. How dare you?

1:22:53 Rob Schneider There's a girl who wants me to crap on her and then hit her in the face with a shovel.

1:22:58 Rob Schneider Kitty, 15.

1:22:59 Rob Schneider Hello.

1:23:00 What's up, Kitty?

1:23:01 Rob Schneider Hey, Kitty.

1:23:02 Hi. Hey there. Okay. My problem is that I have a boyfriend who is 20 years old.

1:23:12 Drew Yes.

1:23:13 I have been with him for two years. That was the seventh of this month. And he came to me and asked me to marry him.

1:23:23 Drew And you're 15.

1:23:24 Caller I'm 15, yes.

1:23:25 Rob Schneider Well, first of all, he can't do that without your parents' involvement or unless you live in foster care or something or Appalachian.

1:23:33 Caller To be engaged to him and then marry him when I turn 18.

1:23:37 Rob Schneider How would your parents feel about this?

1:23:39 Caller My parents, when me and him first got together, when he was 18, we played it off as if he was younger because I am taller than him and he looks younger than he really is. We played him off as being a freshman in high school when he was a freshman.

1:23:56 Drew Well, that was a good lie.

1:23:57 Rob Schneider Lie like that. Again, when you're 20 and you look at your male peers and think about them dating 15-year-olds, you will vomit. You will just retch. It's a huge difference between 20 and 15 and it's not okay and it's not okay to get married. Do you see that thing in Pennsylvania where that girl got kidnapped and her 20-year-old boyfriend shot her parents? No. Okay. Well, that's what just happened. That's what just went down to 14. She was actually 14. He was 20. But that's what goes down with relationships like this. All kinds of chaos. There's something wrong with the 20-year-old and the reason that the parents and the laws protect you or urge you not to do that is to protect you from the screwed up 20-year-old.

1:24:36 Drew Right. But also something's wrong with Kitty here. Kitty's got some abuse in her background. Kitty?

1:24:43 Caller Yeah.

1:24:44 Rob Schneider She just has an unhappy home she's trying to hide out from, right?

1:24:47 Caller Yeah. I just moved to my father's house for my mother. She has an extreme drug problem to methamphetamine.

1:24:53 Rob Schneider Yeesh.

1:24:54 Drew I wouldn't want to get out of the house and get married.

1:24:56 Rob Schneider Yeah, right. So to you, marriage is an escape. It's a life preserver.

1:25:00 Drew Hey, you're 15. Yeah. Don't chuck it all in at 15. Wait till you're 15 and a half. Give it six months. Then jump. What?

1:25:09 Caller With this guy, I've already been pregnant with this child, but I lost it because he was abusive. Well, he was on methamphetamine.

1:25:16 Drew Who was abusive? What?

1:25:17 Rob Schneider The guy.

1:25:17 Caller The guy was abusive while he was on methamphetamine about six months ago. I have now got him to quit.

1:25:22 Drew Boyfriend?

1:25:23 Caller Yes.

1:25:24 Rob Schneider Wow. So now he's just smoking pot.

1:25:26 Drew Methamphetamine, fiance, methamphetamine user.

1:25:30 Caller I have him in AA, I have him in NA, and I have him going to anger management.

1:25:35 Rob Schneider Yeah. Well, Kitty, you as a 15 year old, having somebody in anything is a catastrophe.

1:25:40 Drew Are you managing somebody when you're 15 and he's 20?

1:25:43 Rob Schneider Not only that, you're the child of an amphetamine addict yourself. You have profound co-dependency issues. You're trying to fix them. Yes. So this is all really seriously pathological.

1:25:55 Drew Thank God for you and the baby that you did.

1:25:58 Rob Schneider That there is no baby.

1:25:58 Drew That there is no baby because that was a disaster. Geez. Go out with someone your own age.

1:26:04 Rob Schneider This is not just...

1:26:05 Drew Finish high school. Get through your sophomore year before you decide to get married and have kids.

1:26:11 Rob Schneider Kitty, you're smart, but you're going to do what you're going to do. And I'm sorry that you'd have to ruin your life this way. Melissa, 21.

1:26:19 Drew Hi, Melissa. You're on the radio.

1:26:21 Caller Hi.

1:26:22 Drew Hi. What's up?

1:26:24 Caller Um, I didn't make it on.

1:26:26 Rob Schneider Turn your radio on. Yeah. Well, you're on. Now turn the radio off.

1:26:30 Caller Okay.

1:26:30 Drew Hi.

1:26:32 Caller My question is, okay, when I have sex, like in any other position, like on top or on my back, I can have sex and it won't hurt. Orgasm. But if I just start with doggie style, it hurts really bad and I don't know why. But after I come, then I can flip over and he can go as hard as he wants and it won't hurt me.

1:26:55 Rob Schneider Yeah, but he can't penetrate as deeply. Sometimes the back way, that way you get a deeper penetration and say hitting up against the uterus and the cervix that can cause pain. The fact that you do get pain though with that kind of thing does need to get checked out.

1:27:06 Drew No, no, no, no, no.

1:27:07 Rob Schneider Make sure you don't have... Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1:27:09 Drew I'm a professional actor over here.

1:27:11 Rob Schneider No, no, to make sure you don't have...

1:27:12 Drew Just don't start off with doggie style. What's the problem?

1:27:15 Rob Schneider No, but the...

1:27:16 Drew Don't start off with him behind you mounting you like some sort of Indian Sherpa.

1:27:24 Rob Schneider Now, let me add something to the list here. It doesn't lie.

1:27:26 Drew No, who said I don't lie? I'm just saying for her, it's painful. It's painful when you first start out.

1:27:31 Rob Schneider That don't start out that way. Not important. That's what it that way. Not favorite position.

1:27:35 Drew I learned the hard way. You learned the hard way?

1:27:37 Rob Schneider But Melissa, here's the deal.

1:27:38 Drew I just like this.

1:27:38 Rob Schneider It hurts.

1:27:39 Rob Schneider I'll still do it.

1:27:40 Rob Schneider It can hurt.

1:27:41 Rob Schneider I gotta get it to stop hurting.

1:27:42 Rob Schneider It can hurt when you have a retroverted uterus and this sort of thing, but it also can be a sign of endometriosis, tubal infection, ovarian cysts. So that needs to be ruled out.

1:27:49 Drew I don't think it's that. Is this guy...

1:27:50 Rob Schneider But it has to be ruled out. If it is, it will affect her fertility permanently.

1:27:54 Drew It's late in the show. We don't have to get that technical late in the show. She just... It hurts. Does the guy build...

1:28:00 Caller I do have cysts on my cervix.

1:28:02 Drew Is this guy built like a porn star or what's the deal?

1:28:05 Caller Yeah, kind of.

1:28:07 Drew All right. Well, there you have your answer.

1:28:08 Rob Schneider And you do have ovarian cysts? Is that what you said?

1:28:11 Caller No, not ovarian.

1:28:12 Caller On my cervix. Cervical cysts? To take it out.

1:28:17 Rob Schneider Cervical cysts? You mean a polyp?

1:28:19 Caller Yeah.

1:28:20 Rob Schneider Yeah. Cervical polyps. All right. So that can kind of be uncomfortable. And that's sort of an overgrowth. It's something that you're looking into. That's good. You've been checked out. Excellent. Rob, we're running out of time here.

1:28:30 Drew That's it?

1:28:30 Rob Schneider Yeah. Well, not quite. We could take another call, maybe. But I'm just sort of adding up the score here.

1:28:35 Drew Don't just assume all those things.

1:28:36 Rob Schneider Yeah. Don't assume them?

1:28:37 Drew Don't assume all of them.

1:28:38 Rob Schneider Well, let's kind of go down and see which ones are accurate here, what we've learned about. This is just from tonight. I've lost my list from last night. Facial, bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Prostate massage, good. Parathyroid, adenomas, that's part of your history. Parathyroidectomies. Kidney stones, bad. Ureteral stents, bad.

1:29:00 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:29:02 Rob Schneider Weirded out by sexual females. S and M tying up, nothing wrong with that. Back door, sort of doggy style, not important. Not in this, not a favor, not there. And anywhere other males have been, bad. And he watches Harry British porn.

1:29:24 Drew He's heard about that. He's heard about British porn. Yeah, the porn, the British porn, don't go British with the porn.

1:29:32 Rob Schneider And we've got Deuce Bigelow, European Jiggle-O coming out on Tuesday DVD.

1:29:36 Drew And how did you segue in from British porn to my movie, European Jiggle-O?

1:29:40 Rob Schneider I'm just trying to wrap up here a little bit and wrap down. Next movie for Rob Schneider is Benchwarmers.

1:29:45 Drew Benchwarmers and then we're doing Big Stan. That's an independent film. I'm directing it, yeah.

1:29:49 Rob Schneider Was that the thing you've been sort of talking about? I said the prison thing?

1:29:51 Drew Written by Josh Lee.

1:29:52 Rob Schneider Prison comedy.

1:29:53 Drew I'm directing.

1:29:54 Rob Schneider Let's take one last quick call here. This is Adam. Adam, what's up?

1:29:58 Caller Yeah, how's it going, man? I mean, it's just like whenever me and my girlfriend go out and she starts laughing with another guy, I mean, I get jealous and like kind of snap sometimes. I guess I'm like easy jealous and I just scream. How that is, I mean, is right now. I mean, I got into like a couple fights, you know, because of that.

1:30:19 Rob Schneider Yeah, it's not exactly what you call it, endearing quality, but you know, 18, 17 year old, 19 year old guys have a lot of energy.

1:30:25 Drew They have a lot of testosterone.

1:30:26 Rob Schneider Yes, and it makes you irritable, it makes you a fearful other man. And you hear how Rob responds to even the idea of a woman being with another man of different character. He hates it, and if he were...

1:30:36 Drew I will pee in the area around her and stay away.

1:30:38 Rob Schneider If he still had a will to live and testosterone circulates through his blood...

1:30:41 Drew Yes, forget about it, danger...

1:30:42 Rob Schneider .he'd be like you.

1:30:43 Drew Danger.

1:30:43 Rob Schneider But it's something you need to learn to control, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's finding it not a good thing.

1:30:47 Drew Just don't punch a guy because she's laughing, unless it's not funny.

1:30:51 Rob Schneider Right.

1:30:52 Drew Then, hit him. Hard.

1:30:54 Rob Schneider We'll be back to wrap up and wrap down with Rob Schneider after this. That about does it for This Week with Rob Schneider on Loveline. One quick.

1:31:10 Drew That was a lot of fun. It was interesting, you know, because some big shoes to fill there.

1:31:14 Rob Schneider You filled them quite nicely and I thank you for doing it. And we look forward to seeing you a bit more in the future.

1:31:19 Drew I had a good time. I learned a few things about myself.

1:31:22 Rob Schneider Oh, and so did I, man. I really learned something about, not myself, about you. About you.

1:31:25 Drew Some strange collars from Salem, Washington. And interesting, interesting. A lot of good stuff.

1:31:31 Rob Schneider I always think of you when I see strong women who are sexually assertive. I think, oh, Rob.

1:31:35 Drew Look at me. I'll be cowering.

1:31:37 Rob Schneider Rob's not like that.

1:31:38 Drew With a boner. I'll be cowering with a boner.

1:31:39 Rob Schneider Oh, that's right. We did learn about the middle finger and the girth thing last night.

1:31:42 Drew Yeah, yeah. But I liked it that we found out that British porn's not high on the recommend list. Too much hair everywhere. No fake boobs. Not very attractive to people.

1:31:53 Rob Schneider Forget it, then. My God.

1:31:54 Drew If you want porn, you got to, you know. No, no good. But this was good. Who's next? Who's up next next week?

1:32:01 Rob Schneider I think I'm looking at the board. There looks like I see Tom Arnold coming up. I know I got a couple of the whole week. No, no, I don't think so. Next week is a mix.

1:32:08 Drew Well, Tom's great.

1:32:09 Rob Schneider I know Tom's a very good guy. So until then, this is Dr. Drew on behalf of Rob Schneider saying mahalo.

1:32:14 Rob Schneider It's a ghost, I guess, but I don't know. I like the carpet. It's really close to work and the garage is right out front.

1:32:23 Caller This has been Loveline.

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Thursday, November 17, 2005