Episode 1000733824982

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Voiceover Hey, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew. Board Certified Physician. Dizh, bizh, bop, buzz. I was over at CNN today, Drew.

1:33 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:34 Adam And they said, I was just, you do CNN a lot, but I wasn't aware of that. And I was sitting there alone in that room, that satellite room. You know, you just sit there and the signs, they get you there 20 minutes early, and you just sort of start getting hot staring into this light for a long time. And there's a lone tech guy who stands behind the camera.

1:54 Drew A male.

1:55 Adam Male.

1:55 Drew It's mostly women doing that. Yeah, I know who that is.

1:57 Adam I had the tech guy.

1:58 Drew Yeah.

1:58 Adam With the beard.

1:59 Drew Yeah.

2:00 Adam I was this guy too, you know, when the guy goes, you go, how old are you? And he goes, 20, 32. I was like, really? Haven't got a, 24 months. Haven't got accustomed to being in your 30s yet. Little thinking, high school. Oh yeah, 40. So, I don't remember, but I just said, I was just sitting there, we had a little time to talk. So I said, you met, probably met a lot of people coming through here. And he said, oh yeah. And I said, well, who's the, who's your most memorable one? I mean, who, who's the best one? Who's the biggest name? And he's like, biggest a-hole Dr. Phil. And I was like, yeah, that's awesome. That is awesome. And, and, and then I said, best guy, Dr. Drew. Drew's probably the best guy. I said, he's going to be delighted to hear that.

2:56 Drew I want to be at the opposite end of the spectrum, Mr. Dr. Phil.

2:58 Adam It's really how I'm trying to think of the best gauge for knowing some, the cut of a man's GIO.

3:06 Drew The people, what they call below the line know.

3:09 Adam Yes.

3:09 Drew They know.

3:10 Adam Well, it's one of, yes, they know, but it's one of those things where if you ask the parking valet if Larry King was a good guy, he'd be like, oh, he's a great tipper.

3:21 Drew Yeah, yeah.

3:21 Adam Might not necessarily be a good guy, you know? Once in a while, there's those guys, maybe it's Sinatra, maybe it's Larry King, maybe it's whoever, who are great tippers, they're great. Here's the interesting thing, Drew.

3:35 Drew Yeah.

3:36 Adam There are the guys that are below the below-the-line guys. These are the parking valets, these are the dormant, these are the room service guys, and these guys will make up somehow for being a-holes by flipping these guys 100 bucks.

3:49 Drew Right. Yes.

3:50 Adam Then they're like, this guy's got three kids, he lives in an apartment, he makes 400 bucks a week, I just flipped them 100 bucks.

3:56 Drew That's a big deal. Yeah.

3:57 Adam But there's a guy who's two steps up from that guy, who's getting his ass kicked by this guy.

4:02 Drew Yes.

4:02 Adam Because he wears a tie.

4:04 Right.

4:04 Adam And he makes $62,000 a year.

4:06 Drew You're right.

4:07 Adam That's the guy who I think gets his ass whooped.

4:10 Yeah.

4:11 Adam If you think about it, when I think about the Oprahs or the Martha Stewart's, or the Dr. Phil's or the whoever of the worlds, I think they're good to the executives, the good way up on the food chain, and they probably are pretty good to the way down, just to try to, the black guys picking up the garbage. Hey, my man. Yeah.

4:32 Drew Except once in a while.

4:33 Adam Try to be accessible. Once in a while, they'll freak on him.

4:35 Drew Once in a while, they'll show their real stuff through.

4:37 Adam Right.

4:38 Drew And the guy goes, wow, you know, next time, he'll remember you next time. It's about the money and stuff.

4:42 Adam Right. But I think it's that sort of in between.

4:45 Drew No, you're right.

4:46 Adam Sometimes the tech guys, it's sort of professional, but they're making under 100 grand a year, and you can yell at them and sleep at night because they're not poverty stricken and all that stuff.

4:58 Drew Right.

4:58 Adam I wonder if those guys in the middle get their ass whooped just a little bit.

5:03 Drew Oh, yeah.

5:03 Adam I think the middle...

5:04 Yeah, we do.

5:05 Adam The middle... Oh, you think you're in the middle?

5:09 And I know, too.

5:12 Adam I think you're close to the bottom, Anderson, but the point is, is the middle gets their ass kicked a little bit. It's like taxes.

5:20 Drew Yeah.

5:21 Adam The rich guys, well, they pay a lot of taxes, but enough skin off their teeth, and then poor guys, they don't pay any taxes. The middle, it stings. The middle, it gets your ass kicked in the middle a little bit. Gotta be up or down.

5:33 Drew Yeah, you're right. Absolutely.

5:35 Adam That's really what life is like, Drew. Big wave coming at you.

5:39 Drew Yeah.

5:39 Adam You either gotta swim under it, or you gotta get over it, but you try to sort of plow through it, it just pummels you back onto the beach. That's what the middle does, pummeled.

5:48 Drew You know, I was thinking, I'm going to take my kids to Magic Mountain tomorrow for the big Fright Night thing and stuff, for the birthday and stuff, and I have to prepare like a day ahead to do those roller coasters. I have to like psych up for it. It's not like the old days where you can be like, fancy! No, no, seriously.

6:02 Adam You gotta start working out.

6:04 Drew I think, is it the aging brain or body or something, but I'm really kind of like psyching up for it and wondering if I'm gonna make it or something.

6:12 Adam Well, you really think about what used to pass for a thrill back in the day. When I was a kid, and thankfully I've only went to these places once or twice, my parents-

6:26 Drew Well, then the rise again, more and more, the bar is up constantly.

6:31 Adam Yeah, but my parents were very, very magnanimous and very generous in the sense that they didn't want to raise dopamine levels in my head by taking me to any exciting places or amusement parks or doing anything. Well, once you raise those dopamine levels, you burn out the pleasure centers. You see what I'm saying, Drew?

6:51 Drew Yes, this is your mom's theory, I'm sure.

6:53 Adam Right, so I stayed home and watched Hobo Kelly and Ben Hunter, because they didn't want to burn out the pleasure centers in the brain by actually getting me a Schwinn or taking me to goddamn Magic Mountain.

7:05 Drew Well, there was no Magic Mountain by then, but it was-

7:07 Adam Right, Disneyland.

7:07 Drew Pacific Ocean Park.

7:09 Adam I thought Disneyland was in Idaho, and yes, POP I had heard of, Pacific Ocean Park, because-

7:17 Drew Now the Santa Monica Pier, but it was POP back in the day, and then they invented things like Magic Mountain, which just overtook everything.

7:23 Adam Right. Disneyland was just a crazy place that was light years away, that on very special occasion, dying kids could go to if they died-

7:36 Drew On the next day.

7:36 Adam On or near their birthday, or Christmas. If you die in the middle of the year away from your birthday, you ain't going. You ain't going. That's how I feel. Once in a while, I'd latch on with someone else's family or something, get dragged to something.

7:49 Drew Now, parents buy these year passes from amusement parks. Can you believe that?

7:53 Adam But the point is, is once you did get to Disneyland, and I'd say I went three times, and not twice in my entire childhood, I would say, zero to 30, probably went twice. Wow. Well, it was a full 50 minutes from where we lived, Drew. But you got to understand, the Corolla is, my mom had a VW Squareback that would overheat when she got halfway down the driveway, like catch on fire from up the street.

8:20 Drew Yeah, actually.

8:20 Adam I was like taking a wagon train there. It was a big deal. Everything is huge.

8:25 Drew You can stop at knots in the wind. No.

8:28 Adam So you would get into some hollowed out fiberglass log. You would sort of slosh around a flume going two knots. And at the very end, there'd be a 15 foot drop off. You'd get a little water splash on you. And that was a rush. Or you'd go to the Autotopia and get these go-karts with steering wheels that weren't hooked up to anything. They were just hooked up to machine screws. The wheel would just keep spinning and spinning and spinning. By the way, that's how you know how different childhood was for us than your kids. We were more than happy to go to the park, get into some sort of a sheet metal pirate ship with a wheel that just perpetually turned, not hooked to anything, just hooked to a pivot point. That was a good time. You knew it wasn't doing anything because two cement posts holding this thing into the ground.

9:16 Hey, I'm steering. You could stay there for four hours.

9:22 Adam How long would your kids spin a wheel attached to nothing now?

9:25 Drew They wouldn't even look at it. How long?

9:29 Adam You can pretend you're steering this thing of bent steel that's cemented to the ground. You can pretend you're steering it like a pirate ship.

9:39 Drew There's another thing too. These frightenings, people they hire to dress up like the ghouls and stuff, scare the crap out of people. I mean, these guys are into it and sort of unnaturally, they're sort of unnaturally into it.

9:54 I was at Knott's Berry Farm last week, it's not, it's not, it's not scary farm. Yeah, and they're going around. I was watching this one guy and he's going up and scaring like small children and stuff.

10:04 Drew Yeah, well the, all I can tell you is the guys at Magic Mountain are like, like criminals or something. They like, they like really, they really get off and scare them.

10:10 I think that they have erections while they're doing it.

10:12 Drew Okay.

10:12 And I went up to this one guy behind him and I scared the hell out of him and he freaked out on my ass. He tried to get me kicked out, it was awesome.

10:19 Drew He screamed. The clown?

10:20 Adam Yeah. Are they called clowns?

10:22 Drew Scary clowns, they're like ghost clowns.

10:25 Adam Yeah, look, I don't, I don't go for that.

10:28 Drew The whole scary thing.

10:29 Half the people there are on acid.

10:31 Drew Oh, that's nice.

10:32 Adam Yeah, that's what you do. You get all jacked up and then go through there.

10:36 Drew It's pretty interesting.

10:36 Adam It's cool, but walking through that, that maze and the technology is crazy now.

10:41 Drew Crazy, yeah.

10:42 Adam People are coming at you.

10:43 Drew Yeah, yeah.

10:44 Adam Yeah, that sort of thing. My mom handed out walnuts and black raisins for Halloween. Well, in the shell, walnuts.

10:55 Drew That is symbolically very interesting.

10:58 Adam Yeah.

10:58 Drew Well, you ain't getting at the good stuff.

11:01 Adam They made nice projectiles when they came back at the house, when people get down the street, because my mom would just take a handful of the walnuts and the sun-made raisins. And the kids would hold the bucket out. Mom would just dip it in here, and the kids would make it down the street, checking out the contents. And then it was angry, firing whole walnuts back. She wasn't going to give these kids, promote hyperactivity by giving the kids chocolate.

11:29 Drew And so what does she think of the projectiles coming back her way?

11:33 Adam You know, you know, just hyperactive kids act out was probably...

11:36 Drew I see, it was the chocolate made them that way.

11:38 It was Abba Zabba that forced them to throw the wholesome snacks back at the Corolla house.

11:43 Drew Yes, got it. Got it. It's the man again. Yeah.

11:47 Adam Yeah. Disneyland. Get in the flume. There you go. Rocking that thing around. That was the thing.

11:53 Drew Disneyland was never so much about the thrill ride.

11:55 Adam Yeah, but you go to the Pirates of the Caribbean and that initial drop down the thing, which was probably 18 feet, was huge, huge.

12:05 Drew Now, I'm trying to psych up to going on something called the Goliath that's like 18 stories or something crazy.

12:10 Adam Your kids' pleasure centers or your kids are burnt out.

12:14 Drew Why one kid just goes from one to the other?

12:17 Adam When they're older, they're gonna start every morning with a huge ball of heroin. Just a big spooning it in. I mean, Drew, we don't really know, like, I always worry about this. Like, I think kids need a certain amount of downtime.

12:33 Drew Absolutely. We don't know what MTV is going to do to kids or what pornography is going to do to them.

12:36 Adam We don't know what the pace is going to do.

12:39 Drew Just for the sake of argument, imagine you had a pod of primates. You stick them on some crazy riot and then show them a bunch of arousing videos. It could be a behavior change.

12:49 Adam Oh, and on the way from the videos to the ride, they got the iPod in.

12:55 Drew Music gone crazy, yes.

12:56 Adam Yes, and they're using the iPod to look at photos now. I mean, there's not a second of downtime.

13:04 Drew I don't know what's going to be.

13:05 Adam But Drew, how is it? What about in your life? You know what I mean? Well, now you got the phone with the pager and the calculator and the blackberry and the blueberry, and now you're online all the time. It's just more, isn't it? Just more, isn't it? Just speeding up the treadmill a little.

13:23 Drew Well, I kind of ungratify bad stuff. So there's something already wrong with me, but if I'm working out, I have to listen to lectures, tapes. I have to be doing something while I'm working out. So I can't do one thing.

13:35 Adam Yeah, but you didn't have to do that 20 years ago.

13:37 Drew Well, there was no way to, you couldn't.

13:39 Adam Well, the point is, is you've been indoctrinated into the technology just as well as the kids.

13:44 Drew Yeah, they, well, they bring you along too.

13:46 Adam Yeah, good times. All right, who want to talk to you?

13:48 Drew That's fine.

13:49 Adam Husbands, ex-husbands, underarms. Betsy?

13:52 Drew Underarms?

13:53 Adam Underarms, sorry. I just saw the under part. Betsy?

13:58 Yes.

13:58 Adam 23?

13:59 Yes.

14:00 Adam What's up?

14:01 I had a miscarriage two months ago and I haven't had my period since then. And tonight I was nauseous, so I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. I'm wondering if it's a positive or if I'm really pregnant.

14:15 Drew Well, you could be pregnant and you also could have something called retained products of conception, meaning that they kind of left some stuff behind.

14:23 Adam Worst ride at Magic Mountain, by the way. The worst. I was only up for three months, but a horribly conceived ride, I would argue. Ain't appropriate.

14:37 I had an ultrasound three weeks after the pregnancy, after I miscarried, and it came back fine.

14:43 There was nothing left.

14:44 Drew Well, then maybe you're pregnant again. I don't understand what you're asking me. Those are the two possibilities.

14:49 Okay, I guess I'm pregnant.

14:50 Drew Or a false positive, or it's kind of awfully quick, but it's possible.

14:55 All right.

14:56 Drew I would be more inclined to think it's, did you have a DNC after the miscarriage?

14:59 I did not.

15:00 He said I didn't need one because I'm more inclined to think this is still more-

15:03 Well, my health levels went back to zero, he said. My HGC count.

15:08 Drew Oh, well now they're back up again. All right.

15:10 Adam So what do you go through?

15:11 Drew Pregnancy.

15:12 Adam Oh, you were gonna go with what?

15:13 Drew She said retain products, but she said that now her HCG went to zero and now it's back up again.

15:18 Adam So are you married?

15:19 Yes, I am.

15:20 Adam All right. What's your hubby do?

15:22 He is in lighting, first stage lighting.

15:27 Drew Opioid addict.

15:28 Adam Oh, come on, buddy. Let's talk to Rachel. Let me say this, Drew. I don't know if I was talking about this, or was I telling you that I was over at Laguna Seca Raceway and that I was gonna be doing the grand marshalling of this American Lamans race and all that stuff? I've been, I've done two things in about the last three or four weeks. And I realize, remember when I was gonna do the coin toss at the UCLA game?

15:56 Drew Yes.

15:57 Adam And everyone seemed to know what I was doing except for the eight people that were standing around me in the center of the field when it came time to toss the coin.

16:04 Drew And therefore everybody else in the stadium wondered what you were doing there too.

16:07 Adam No one knew what to do. I've realized they were gonna do the thing where I was going down to Laguna Seca, I was on the racetrack and I was gonna do the gentlemen start your engines thing. But there's never any communication between anybody, this guy and that guy and this guy and that guy and I'm just standing out on the track for 45 minutes and nothing's going on. And then the next minute, I know I get I get hurried over to the guy with the microphone and he just does that, hey, it's Adam Corolla and he's gonna say these famous words. He shoves the mic in my face like I could have dropped the end bob or anything and start your engine. I could have said something horrible like I never discussed it with him. I never discussed it. You know, the other guy never said, look, he's going to put the mic in here. I didn't get into the part where is it gentleman or is it driver? Is there women racing in this series? It was just boom, boom. And I realized nobody knows what they're doing.

17:00 Drew Yeah.

17:00 Adam That's sort of my thing.

17:02 Drew Yeah.

17:02 Adam I'm starting to slow. It's starting to slowly down.

17:04 Drew We've been saying that for a long time.

17:05 Adam No one really knows what they're doing.

17:07 Drew Yeah.

17:08 Adam OK.

17:08 Drew You and I. But there you go. Confirms it again.

17:11 Adam Thank you. But it was a thrill not tossing that coin and not talking to the crowd. But it's going to take a race. Kristen, I get 20.

17:21 Yes, I have a question.

17:23 Drew Hey, hey, Kristen, what were you doing at CNN?

17:27 Adam I was doing entertainment. No, they never entertainment show.

17:30 Who?

17:31 Drew What?

17:32 Adam Bad interviews on that.

17:34 Oh, it's been a while.

17:36 Adam I mean, I forgot about that.

17:37 Drew I do CNN probably at least once a week for a while. I thought I was doing even more than that. And there's a difference amongst the different shows.

17:46 Yeah.

17:47 Adam Yeah. Yeah. They get cute chicks who...

17:51 Drew For the most part, news is particularly entertainment news. It's, so Adam, what's going on? That's about whatever you have to say, set up and say it.

17:59 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah.

18:01 Drew They're not going to be throwing stuff over the place.

18:04 Adam They did this one. The story leading into my segment was celebrities that are still making money even though they're dead. It's good to be dead. Elvis makes $45 million a year, and John Lennon makes $18 million a year, and Andy Warhol makes $30 million a year. And you'd be amazed at how much these celebrities who have passed, how much their state makes. And then the thing that's funny is there's a guy who's an agent for these dead celebrities, which has to be a great gig, because you don't have to take anyone out to lunch or anything.

18:41 Drew Who's the publicist?

18:42 Adam Publisher.

18:43 Drew That's the more interesting person.

18:44 Adam Yeah, Lennon didn't want the publicist even dead. He knew. He knew they were evil. The point is these guys are making millions and millions. So they give the top list. I don't know if it was, you know, I know Elvis is at the top and then it's John Lennon and I don't know Marlon Brando or something. It just keeps going down and they finished that off. And so there was a laugh. It pays to be dead. All right, let's go to Adam Corolla. And I was like, you know, who's the last? So this ditzy blonde gets on the thing and I go, you know, his last on that list, Ray Combs. And she's like, oh. This guy used to host Family Feud. He killed himself. It's like, oh, OK.

19:25 Drew Adam, you're so funny. Oh, no.

19:29 Adam But where would Ray rank on that list?

19:31 Drew Yeah, he poor guy.

19:33 Adam Well, I feel sorry for him.

19:34 Drew By the way, he used to come up on this show, just he'd show up. He was one of the nicest guys he ever met.

19:39 Adam Nice in a sort of compensating way.

19:42 Drew Super, yeah, like, like, yeah.

19:43 Adam Had to run in treadmill.

19:45 Drew Yeah, he was definitely on a run.

19:46 Adam Yeah.

19:47 Drew Full spread.

19:48 Adam He's the guy who had to listen to books on cassettes while he worked out yesterday.

19:52 Drew That's what I'm saying.

19:52 Adam But I'm sure a nice guy, no.

19:54 Drew Really pleasant to be around.

19:55 Adam You didn't feel intruded upon or anything. Even a little Tom Arnold may be in that sort of, that sort of energy.

20:01 Drew Yeah.

20:02 Adam Sad case. A guy killed himself, obviously depressed. I'm just making a joke of celebrities that, dead celebrities that weren't earning as much as, you know, Elvis. I'm just guessing he'd be torn, you know, lower down.

20:15 That's all.

20:17 Adam She didn't know what to make of that. Kristen?

20:19 Yes.

20:20 Adam You're 20?

20:21 Yes. What's up? I've got a question for Dr. Drew, basically. A while back, my boyfriend noticed some spots on his penis and we went to the doctor and they told him there was this molluscum contagiosum.

20:32 Drew Was on his penis or was on the sort of pubic area?

20:35 It was on his penis.

20:37 Drew Wow, that's a rare, it doesn't usually get under the penis.

20:40 Yeah, that's what they told him. It was a lot. And I guess like one of them actually even got infected and stuff.

20:45 Adam Where do you get the molluscum contagiosum?

20:47 Drew It's a virus and it just, you know.

20:49 We told him it was a pox.

20:51 Drew Well, a pox virus.

20:53 Adam Maybe the doctor put a pox. He was a gypsy doctor, put a pox on your penis.

20:57 Drew A pox virus just means a virus that causes a vesicle, so there you go.

21:00 Yeah, well basically my question is, what can it do to me?

21:05 Drew It can cause a skin thing just like what he had. It doesn't do anything in the vagina, it does something in the pubic area. It causes these little like zit-like things. It looks like little zits that, you talked about the melon balling, that sort of shells out, they shell out the insides.

21:17 Adam Yeah, this is what you can get out, right? But this is not the penile papules.

21:22 Drew No, at least he was not diagnosed that way.

21:24 Adam But what do you shell out, the meloscoma?

21:27 Drew Well, it's just a little like a hard little knot.

21:30 Adam I'd like to go with that.

21:31 Drew Yeah, oh, you'd have a good time.

21:33 Adam Awesome.

21:33 Drew But I wonder what they did treat him with since it was on the penis though. What did they treat him with?

21:37 They froze him.

21:39 Drew Yeah, they froze him off.

21:40 Yeah, they froze him off. And basically, it was, it's, he's got some like on like where the pubic area is, but then there's like a bunch of them on the shaft. And then my question was basically, cause he asked the doctor, you know, well, what can I do to my girlfriend? You know, cause they told him, it was just kind of an irritating, disannoying kind of little.

21:57 Drew Right, right.

21:57 But he was like, well, what can it do to her? And I don't know. It wasn't the doctor, it was the guy that was freezing him off. And he was just like, I have no clue. And then we weren't able to get ahold of another doctor.

22:07 Drew It can't hurt you, cannot hurt you, but it can cause a little skin problem.

22:12 Adam Where do you get them from?

22:14 Drew Sex.

22:15 Adam Oh, it's an STD? Oh, it is? But an STD, STD or STD?

22:20 Drew It's not one, not one of the classic STDs, but it is a sexually transmitted condition.

22:27 Adam Let me say this. I was going down.

22:30 Drew Really? You were?

22:30 Adam Going down the hill.

22:31 Drew Oh, I see.

22:32 Adam Going down the hill this morning and the cops rammed themselves a little, take a ride and party. Actually, we're pulling over. Always disturbs me, by the way, to see more than one person pulled over.

22:42 Drew Yeah, yeah.

22:43 Adam Pull over people in bunches.

22:44 Drew Right. And to me, that tells you something.

22:48 Adam To me, I don't I don't mind, you know, I don't mind going after, you know, big game fish, but the gill netting part, you know, I don't like that gill netting. It's just it takes a little challenge out of it.

22:58 Drew You catch some dolphins in there.

22:59 Adam Throwing dynamite in the water and then just pulling fish up in a huge gill net. You know, I don't like I like this single pole. Yeah, action.

23:06 Drew Yeah.

23:07 Adam But the cops were pulling everyone over. But as as they usually do, they wait at the bottom or in the middle of a steepish hill.

23:15 Drew Right.

23:16 Adam Because folks naturally go an extra yes without even knowing it. And here's the thing.

23:22 Drew How many accidents on that hill, by the way, if you live there, lived there, what, eight years? No, nothing. And one accident, one problem.

23:28 Adam Littered with corpses.

23:29 Drew Yeah.

23:30 Adam The street is literally littered with corpses.

23:33 Drew Go to the intersections with those problems and sit there. That's fine.

23:36 Adam Yeah. They go right in the middle of the long, wide, smooth straightaway. And here's the here's the deal. When you're driving a car that was built in 2005, 35 miles an hour down a silky smooth piece of asphalt that's at a 10 degree grade, doesn't feel like you're moving.

23:54 Caller Right.

23:54 Adam Your tires are speed rated to 200 miles an hour.

23:57 Caller Right.

23:58 Adam I don't care if you're driving the cheapest Honda or Toyota or Daihatsu, at 35 miles an hour, it just doesn't feel like you're moving. So you take your foot off the brake. Next thing you know, you're going 43. And the next thing you know, they've pulled a batch of you over to write a chicken-ass ticket, I just don't really get. There's something about waiting on the slope side of the hill. There should be a thing that you should only be able to give tickets out when the grade is flat. And then you should just go ahead. You should just go ahead and pro-rate. Like it should be like, okay, it was a 10 degree slope.

24:30 Drew Give it 10 miles an hour.

24:31 Adam 35. That brings you up to 45, whatever it is.

24:34 Drew And by the way, no nets.

24:36 Adam Yeah. Now here's the thing. Here's what I would like to see out of the fuzz.

24:40 Caller The man, the heat.

24:42 Adam Here's what I would like to see. Every goddamn time I go up the 405, everyone's going 43 miles an hour because it's an uphill grade.

24:50 Drew I want them to get tickets too.

24:51 Adam Right. But they're on the other side of the grade waiting for people to go 67, the same guy who just won't move his foot.

24:57 Drew But why don't we give the tickets to the guys going 40? If they're so unaware, they're so out of it that they can't tell when they're speeding.

25:04 Adam We gotta slow down, we gotta slow down.

25:06 Everyone's gotta slow down.

25:07 Adam All right, I may go ballistic when we come back.

25:11 Hello, this is your radio. Radio, Loveline will be right back.

25:17 Loveline is brought to you by 10,000 Fists, the new album from Disturbed, featuring Stricken. Catch Disturbed live all winter long.

25:43 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er. Esty.

25:52 Drew Chilidenka? She called you.

25:55 Adam No, I'm just reading the name down there.

25:57 Drew Oh.

25:58 Adam She was my cute girlfriend when I was in the seventh grade.

26:02 Drew Well, she wasn't cute yet.

26:03 Adam No, I dated her. She was Esther. Then she became Esty in the ninth grade. It got real popular. She wanted to do with me. Esty?

26:14 Yes. Twenty-seven.

26:18 Adam What's up?

26:20 I just had a call to say hi to you because you mentioned my name last night.

26:24 Adam Yeah, we did.

26:25 Drew Again tonight.

26:26 I've never knew any other Esty in my life.

26:29 Adam Well, it's just Esther that gets changed to Esty, right?

26:32 Drew Did you start as Esther?

26:34 I started as Esty. Oh.

26:36 Adam Are you Esty from the word go?

26:39 Yes, I am.

26:40 Adam Does it say that on your birth certificate?

26:43 Yes, it does. E-S-T-E-E. Named after Esty Lauder.

26:49 Adam Classy.

26:51 Drew I kind of like that.

26:52 Adam But shouldn't you be Esty then?

26:55 Yeah, but everyone calls me Esty even my mom.

26:58 Drew I shouldn't correct them. We're all good with all this.

27:01 Adam There we are.

27:02 Drew Yeah. All right, there we go.

27:03 Adam What's up?

27:05 I just had a question. I wanted to get your guys' opinion. I've been married for about almost 12 years now, 11. And so if you do the math, I was really young.

27:18 Drew Yes, you're still really young.

27:21 Adam You're 27.

27:22 Caller Uh-huh. And so me and my husband have been through a lot.

27:26 Drew Hold on.

27:27 Adam She's 27. She's been married for almost 12 years. Wow.

27:33 Drew Yeah. Think about where you were at 27.

27:36 Adam Oh, not married for 12 years. All right. Go ahead.

27:42 Caller And so me and my husband, of course, have been through a lot.

27:48 Adam Why?

27:50 Caller Well, I mean, we grew up basically together.

27:52 Drew I mean, like people cheating and messing up and things like that.

27:56 Caller Yeah. Once in a while. It didn't happen. It doesn't happen like all the time. But you did cheat once. And it was like this. We're so young, but for some reason we stay together, right?

28:09 Drew All right. We got it.

28:11 Caller He, I wanted to know just basically, he while we were together, like after I had our second child, he started using drugs and he's had a problem with this for, let's say about eight years now, on and off. And he finally got himself in trouble for it and is incarcerated at this time. And I just want to know, do you think I'm just really big sucker for being with him still?

28:42 Drew No, I think you need to drop the F-bomb. Yeah, no, no, she's a sucker.

28:47 Adam I know it's really big sucker.

28:51 Drew Yeah, Esti, here's the deal. Go, I make these recommendations not casually. These are actually an order. Go to Al-Anon, get a sponsor and sort your feelings out about this or get a therapist. This is not, by the Al-Anon, it's not like, oh, go get some support and maybe you'll feel better. No, no, you've had a very serious decision here. You've got, you have kids, I assume.

29:15 Adam Yes.

29:16 Drew Yeah, you have kids. You have somebody you've loved for a long time who's in trouble with a bad disease.

29:20 Adam The good news is the kids are 19 and out of the house.

29:23 Drew That's right, and in reality, you're going to Al-Anon actually working a program may get him into treatment as well. That has actually, in my experience, the highest probability of getting an identified addict into the program.

29:35 Adam Well, he hasn't done drugs since he blew that guard. I mean, since he got into prison.

29:42 Drew Right.

29:43 Adam You understand?

29:44 Drew I see.

29:44 Adam Hey, Esti, how long is he in for?

29:48 Caller Eight months total, it's been four.

29:50 Adam Been four, and what is he in for?

29:54 Caller Just violation of his probation.

30:00 Adam I like the fact that Esti puts a nice spin on this thing, where he'd been doing drugs for about eight years and finally caught up to him, and now he's in jail. What's he in for? Violation, probation, probation, violation. Finally caught up. Here's the thing. When you're in for the violation of the probation, that's not it finally catching up to you. It catching up to you is whatever you did to get you on probation in the first point.

30:27 Drew So you're doing drugs.

30:28 Adam Right. Was it that was his first probation stuff? Was that drugs too?

30:35 Caller Yeah. Yeah. No, the original reason why he went to jail is for drugs.

30:40 Adam Yeah. What about the first time?

30:42 Caller You know, they give them now all these like chances, you know, with rehabs and different programs, you know, before they...

30:49 Adam What was he on probation for?

30:52 Caller He was on probation because he was arrested for possession. And then what they do, like the first time you get arrested for something like that is like they send you to like rehabilitation classes like, I think it's called like Prop 36 or something.

31:09 Adam All right.

31:10 Caller All right. All right.

31:11 Adam What did he do? What's he do for a living? Construction?

31:16 Drew No, not working.

31:17 Caller He works.

31:18 He is a tow truck driver.

31:20 Caller No. Oh, I knew you. I need to get a good one off of that.

31:25 Adam Oh, let me let me just let me just say this. All right, baby, go to Alan on.

31:29 Drew Yeah, go to Alan. Let me. I know you're I can tell the way you responded to you have no intentions. You know, whatever. There's no.

31:35 Adam Who cares? Just leave us alone. Let me tell you, cosmically, where tow truck driver lands just on the Cosmic Wheel in the sky. Roofer Roofer sandwich between Roofer and Publicist on the Cosmic S Wheel in the sky. Tow truck drivers and tow truck companies are the amongst the in impound yards and all that stuff are amongst the worst, most unscrupulous, dicey, horrible people on the planet. They're horrible people. The whole the whole impound tow yard thing is just we got your car and you want it back, there's a nice glory hole in this piece of plywood underneath this glass. I'm staying up here, I'm just going to poke my dork through it and you start blowing. That's how it works. I mean, you get your car towed. I told you, you get your car towed on a Thursday night, you go on Friday morning, that's two days impound.

32:28 Drew Right.

32:30 Adam It was towed on the ninth and now it's the tenth. Yeah, it's been seven hours.

32:33 Drew Two days.

32:34 Adam Two days. And then whenever you start arguing, it's like, what are you arguing for? The car's back there. You're not getting to it. There's a fence, it's got barbed wire on it, you're not getting to it until you pass. It's interesting. Oftentimes, I've had stuff toed. I had my license plate ripped off my motorcycle once and they just toed my motorcycle.

32:55 Drew Because there's no license plate?

32:57 Adam Yeah, because it got ripped off.

32:58 Drew I don't understand.

33:00 Adam They're supposed to check the numbers on it, whatever, but it doesn't matter. Once it gets toed, that's it. The guy at the tow yard doesn't care. He's, you got to pay me. You can get it back and go take it up to the court. It's the biggest scam in the world. These guys stand around. I like when it rains really hard and they hang out in the intersections that are flooded and yank people out, but charge them 50 bucks a pop or whatever.

33:23 Drew They what?

33:23 Adam Oh yeah, you never see that. What's wrong? Intersectional get flooded and someone will get stuck in there. Tote truck drivers are the worst amongst. I always forget to include them in my list of just horrible people. And the guys who drive the trucks, these are just your common criminals. Essentially, they're not as bad. The impound yard guys who work with the sweeps, with the cops are just amongst the lowest. They are a rattlesnake's belly in a wagon train groove. Do you understand? But lower than that.

33:54 Drew Wagon train groove.

33:56 Adam A wagon train cuts a groove in the muddy soil. And they are a snake's belly that is in that groove. The wheel groove. The wheel groove.

34:06 Drew I live in the satisfaction of knowing that you drove your car off of one of these trucks one time.

34:11 Adam I got to tell you, I went this on my headstone. I drove my car off a tow truck. And I am telling you is God is my witness, kiddies, it was not in sort of half-tow position or six inches off the ground, or it wasn't when the guy was lowering it down or raising it up. It was in full-tow position when I drove off of that tow truck. It was the kind, it was the kind I think that had the-

34:43 Drew a strap-like?

34:44 Adam It was the arms, the two prongs that went under and then lifted up to about three feet off the ground, and then it was lashed. The rear tires were lashed down to those two arms, those two prongs.

34:57 Drew How did you get to, you went up back and unlashed them?

34:59 Adam I argued with this sea sucker. I hope you're listening right now. Drive right into the ocean, you puss. I argued with this sea sucker for a half an hour. I was trying to bribe, you know, I just, look, lower the car, I'm standing here, I'll give you 80 bucks and we'll go home. No, no, no, this is crazy nationality. Pissed off, angry, horrible foreign guy, his girlfriend in the cab, was just going at it with me. I don't know, I still to this day, I'm not exactly sure what he wanted. I think he probably was a nice car, was a BMW M3, that at least. He probably thought he was going to get 300 bucks instead of the 100, you know. I, you know, because I was saying to the guy, look, instead of following you in someone else's car to the impound yard, following my own car, although it would be interesting to see what my car looked like driving backwards at a 45-degree angle.

35:59 Drew He was parked in the wrong spot or something?

36:00 Adam I was parked in the wrong spot, like a 7-Eleven. I didn't park in a slot. I parked under a post or something. But anyway, this guy, I said, look, look, instead of paying that $120 and whatever, I'll just give you $90, $100 right now. We'll just lower it and we'll leave. And he wouldn't do it, but it seemed like he wanted it. It was unclear. He wasn't a scrupulous guy. He wanted something. Maybe he just wanted $300. So these guys are so dirt dumb, too. He's like, I have to tow it back because I can't just come out on a call and return with nothing. And then I said this, you ever get called out on a call, go out to pick up a car and the car is gone? Oh yeah, all the time. Oh, okay. This is it. This is that time. Except for this time, you got $80. He said, $80. Come out there. He'd tell you, boss, I came out, the car was gone. I went back, wouldn't do it, wouldn't do it. They start driving away and I just jumped in the car and I put my foot on the brake and he would drag the front part of my car, the front, you know, 70% of your braking's in your front brakes of your car. Just drag me and then he'd get out of the car, start yelling at me and then I'd get out and start yelling at him, then he'd run back to his pickup, his tow truck. I'd jump back in my car, just I would not, I was not gonna let him tow me. And it was, you know, two in the morning, I had a couple of beers, you know, it was Friday night, it was after a man show party. But I wasn't gonna go to get my car impounded. Kept dragging me and at a certain point, Tom Stern, one of my buddies, you know, he's from New York, he's nuts, man show director guy, he just yelled, he unlashed one of the tires, the tires were just the one on his side and just screamed at me, undo it, unlash it, go. And it was like one of these things where I was just standing at the, you know, the door of a paratrooper plane with no parachute and a drill sergeant just yelled jump and I just dove. Like, huh, what? Boom, he just started screaming, go, I unlashed it, he unlashed it, the guy was like in the tow truck on the squawker arguing with his girlfriend or something and I just popped it in the first, started up and just, kaboom, just drove right off this thing, I dropped three feet and heard some bad noises on the way down, landed, everybody scattered, all the band show people out there and everyone started running and I just hauled ass and peeled out.

38:17 Drew There you go.

38:18 Adam Yeah.

38:19 Drew Good times.

38:20 Adam Yeah. F them. Hey, everyone should try. A nice little dent under the car, just pulled out the spare, put my boot in there, push it down. No trouble. I was waiting for a few days for cops to show up at my house though.

38:33 Drew Oh really?

38:34 Adam Well, I figured that kind of thing might be at least a misdemeanor. If you're in full-toe position, jump in your car and drive off it. They gotta have some kind of law. Probably law, right?

38:44 Drew Probably.

38:45 Adam Probably. Okay, anyway. Hey, if you're listening, buddy, kill yourself. Literally a millionaire. Take a quick break.

38:52 Drew Literally.

38:53 Adam Literally. Be right back after this.

39:02 Love Line is brought to you by Reverend Run's solo debut album, Distortion, featuring Mind on the Road. In stores now.

39:20 Adam Here, buddy, it's Love Line. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Let's get back to the phones, huh, Bucky? Let's do. Big two, Tiffany, 21, Tiffany.

39:32 Drew Fuck-o.

39:33 Adam Fuck-o.

39:33 Caller Can you guys put me back on hold for just a second, please?

39:36 Caller All right, let's do it.

39:37 Drew Oh, that's gonna be a long wait for old Tiffany.

39:39 Adam Let's talk to Nicky over here. Nicky the dude?

39:43 Caller Yep. Nicky the dude. How you doing, guys?

39:46 Adam Oh, do you say Mickey?

39:48 Caller Nicky, like the mountain. Oh, that's better.

39:50 Adam That's better. What's happening?

39:52 Caller Well, Drew, I got a question for you. I, a 30-year-old guy, and for as long as I can remember, I've always had a foot fetish as far as women are concerned. You know, Adam, like you got guys who watch the man show and the juggies do it for them. They're all into the boobs. For some reason, for my entire life, it's been women's feet that really surrounds me for some reason. And what I'm trying to figure out is, well, I guess Drew, if you could explain to me, like how does this happen? Why does this happen?

40:24 Drew The reality is nobody knows for sure. There's various theories about it. And the sort of prevailing wisdom is that when you're developing, it's difficult to handle or manage overwhelming feelings. And something happens in relation to typically mom that makes it very difficult, the closeness or the intrusion or something is sort of quasi-traumatic and a way of sort of taking away from that trauma is by focusing on something external.

40:55 Adam Question. Do you hate blowhards that announce their question by... Question. A blowhardy move to do. James Lipton style.

41:03 Caller Question.

41:05 Adam Is that as bad as the guy who asks himself his own questions and then answers them?

41:10 Drew Ask myself.

41:11 Adam Do I think we need some sort of Middle Eastern policy? Of course. Should we have some show force in that part of the world? Yes.

41:17 Drew Did I back off?

41:17 Adam Does that mean I think we should firebomb the entire Middle Eastern OPEC? Of course not.

41:23 Drew That's Robert, what's his name, the guy from Paramount.

41:27 Adam Oh, oh yeah, yeah, I'll get to that.

41:30 Drew Yeah.

41:31 Adam Yeah, I'll tell you that in a second. Mickey. Yeah.

41:34 Drew All right. So anyway, it's a fetish and it's a way of sort of managing overwhelming feelings associated with closeness basically. And as, you know, as we know, if you're listening to this show, things that are traumatizing as a child become attraction or sources of attraction in adulthood.

41:48 Adam Question, question, question.

41:49 Caller I don't have any recollection of any of that.

41:51 Drew Yeah, no, it's not big T trauma. It's just some sort of little developmental issue. It's not a big deal.

41:56 Yes, question, yes, Adam.

41:57 Adam Question. If you're at the beach and you had a choice between seeing women walking around topless but wearing muck locks or what do we, what do we want?

42:13 Drew Uggs, uggs.

42:14 Adam Yes, topless but wearing uggs or top on but barefoot. What would you go for?

42:23 Caller Probably the second choice, the top on but barefoot.

42:25 Drew Yeah, you couldn't hang with the man.

42:30 Adam Wow. What should we talk about? I don't know.

42:33 Drew All right, all right.

42:34 Adam But so, so let me ask you, let me ask you this, Robert Evans, by the way.

42:38 Caller Go ahead, yeah.

42:39 Adam Let me, let me ask you this.

42:41 Drew Yeah.

42:42 Adam If, if you're a true punch on my, if you then go to the beach where every woman is barefoot.

42:50 Yeah.

42:52 Adam That's like us going to the beach where everyone's topless?

42:55 Caller Pretty much.

42:56 Drew Ooh, that's gotta be nice. Yeah, it's gotta be nice.

42:58 Caller And I'll tell you what, Adam, it works to my advantage a lot, man. Actually, in the summer, everybody's walked around in flip flops and, you know, strappy sandals and high heels and it's great.

43:06 Drew And it's just so interesting. I mean, isn't it interesting just what the human brain does to create attraction, you know? It just, it's just, you know, it goes where it goes. And in your case, it goes to feet.

43:16 Caller And what's unfortunate, though, Drew, is it's the way that it seems like people who have this fetish or any other seem to be kind of marginalized generally. I mean, it seems pretty harmless to me. And it is harmless with a girl. It's never been an issue. In fact, some of them have really found it.

43:30 Drew Well, it's not so much as an issue that you have this weird preoccupation, that you have a preoccupation.

43:35 Caller Look at you.

43:35 Drew I know judging.

43:37 Adam You cannot judge.

43:38 Drew But it's that in general, fetishes take away from intimacy. In general, this is one that I don't think really does too much to anything.

43:47 Adam But let me say this, Drew.

43:48 Drew It's as long as it doesn't take over.

43:50 Adam Statement. Statement. Statement. How come no one says statement?

43:54 Drew Huzzah.

43:54 Adam Question.

43:55 Drew Huzzah.

43:55 Adam Statement. Statement.

43:57 Drew Hive.

43:57 Adam Statement.

43:58 Drew Hive.

43:59 Adam When people, I think as human beings, we have this thing, it's unfair, or we'd like to think it's unfair, but it's built into us. When we see somebody who has a sickness, it frightens us. It sort of makes us want to get away from them a little bit. When we see somebody whose behavior is different than that of our own or the mainstream, we label them. There's a part of us that sees things, whether it's a hair lip or a guy who's into feet and kind of goes, I don't know about this guy. It frightens us a little bit. Maybe we shouldn't abandon that completely. Maybe we are right to take the Mickeys of the world and put them, categorize them a little, like think to myself, you know what? I'm sure Mickey's fine, but I'm not sure if he's going to be the one I want watching my kids. You know what I'm saying?

44:51 Drew Don't make quite so... Statement. Huzzah.

44:55 Adam Well, you know what I'm saying?

44:57 Drew Yeah. You may not want to spend a month with him in a cabin or something.

45:02 Adam Well, what if you're looking for a babysitter and it's like the one guy who's a foot guy. You like feet.

45:08 Drew That wouldn't dissuade me.

45:09 Adam Little bit.

45:09 Drew No, it wouldn't.

45:11 Adam You would look at...

45:11 Drew A lot of the stuff would, but not that. The foot one I find very just...

45:16 Adam I know, but you think here's a guy who has some energy. Where's the guy that was just, no, I like an attractive woman and nice eyes. You'd hire him to watch your kids over the foot guy.

45:30 Drew Because it's different.

45:31 Adam Oh, there's worse than the foot guy. But foot guy, normal guy, you go normal guy. I'm not giving you a choice between foot guy and a stump porn guy. I'm just giving you foot guy and regular guy.

45:47 Drew I don't think, but my point is...

45:48 Adam Mickey, question. Question. Question. So, when you're with a woman then, do you do things to her feet? Yep. What do you do?

46:01 Caller Well, you can imagine.

46:03 Adam Really? A little toe jamming, huh?

46:06 Caller So to speak.

46:07 Caller Yeah.

46:08 Adam Here's the thing about women, too.

46:10 Caller You know what I like?

46:11 Adam There's unattractive... There's beautiful women that think they have ugly feet and are weird about their feet. There's many women I know are weird about their feet. There's many a woman who has announced they have unattractive feet. And I've never heard a guy announce he has unattractive feet. And you don't hear women say, I have an unattractive nose. They may think it. You know what? Women do the, I have ugly feet because they know the three guys are staring at their boobs. They'll look down and then look back at their boobs and go, Oh, who cares, sweetie? It's fine. I mean, I never noticed. But if a chick says, I have an ugly nose, a guy might go, yeah, it's kind of big.

46:50 Drew But he won't be able to stay with the same energy and enthusiasm.

46:55 Adam If you do, in fact, have a big schnoz, he might think to himself, yeah, it could use a little work. But the feet are always like, look, those are just, those are stands to hold up the boobs. How many times do we got to tell you?

47:05 Drew As we know though, Mike, Mickey's feeling marginalized and stuff. People don't care.

47:09 Adam No.

47:10 Drew Bottom line, people really don't care.

47:11 Adam Okay.

47:11 Drew So the fact that he feels marginalized bothers me more than anything.

47:14 Adam Statement, statement. We got to go to commercial. Statement.

47:17 Caller Break. Alright guys, here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

47:25 Adam One call is all you need to make.

47:26 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:27 877-889-DATE.

47:32 Caller Loveline will be right back. Loveline will be right back.

47:52 Adam Hey, everybody, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. I want to thank Adam Markey for coming and sending us some nuts. Oh, my God. Jumbo sack of pistachios and blue diamond almonds. I am telling you that I have I've probably moved more just personally, but I probably logged about 70 hours of talking about smoked almonds on the radio. Yeah, blue diamond folks have sent me out a hat, maybe a windbreaker.

48:22 Caller Yeah, yeah.

48:24 Adam The guys over at Sunny Delight, however, should send over a hit squad and put me into the ground. But the blue diamond almond guys. Yeah, look at that.

48:35 Drew In addition to sending pistachio and smoked almonds, he has given us a list of top 10 love line moments, up 20 love line moments. Do you want to go through some of those?

48:44 Adam Take a look at them and review them and tell me.

48:47 Drew Here's one I don't really remember. The situation and story with Peter Pan Pan. Oh, Pan Pan.

48:51 Adam Pan Pan.

48:52 Drew Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

48:53 Adam Guy about the cleavers from. The guy that Drew didn't even know whose wife gave him my cell phone number. She called me on a Sunday morning trying to sell me knives. Yeah, that was a lovely debacle.

49:09 Drew What's your dad doing in Israel?

49:10 Adam Yeah.

49:11 Drew Hey, Anderson, bring that one out.

49:12 Adam Here's that one. I'll give him a minute. Where's your dad?

49:15 Caller My dad's in Israel.

49:17 Adam Sarah, what's your dad doing in Israel?

49:19 What's my dad doing in Israel?

49:21 What's my dad doing in Israel?

49:24 Drew Play that again, the first part.

49:26 Adam She got a little... My dad's in Israel.

49:29 Drew I thought she said Israel too. And then I remembered the context of the discussion. I thought, I must not have heard that right.

49:34 Adam Where's your dad?

49:35 Caller My dad's in Israel.

49:38 Adam Here's the deal. Here's how your mind works. It's a really interesting thing.

49:42 Drew Fill it in.

49:43 Adam If you say, and Anderson will play it again, and don't do it yet, but let's just do a little interesting experiment. I say, where's your dad? And she says, my dad's in his room. And if you say his room when she says that word, that his room, it will sound exactly like his room. But if you say Israel, it will sound in your mind, in your mind, it will sound exactly like my dad's in Israel.

50:09 Drew Yeah.

50:10 Adam So let's just do it. Let's play it, Anderson. The first time everyone just say in your mind, his room. When she says, my dad's in his room. Want to dress up your sex life?

50:21 Drew What the hell was that?

50:22 Adam Pushed the wrong button. Where's your dad?

50:25 Caller My dad's in his room.

50:26 Adam Yeah, if you say his room, you say his room when she says it, it's fine. Now scrub your mind, shake it like an Etch A Sketch. And everyone say Israel when she says it.

50:37 Caller My dad's in his room.

50:39 Adam Yeah, if you say Israel when it does it, it'll work. Yeah. All right. Want to dress up your sex life?

50:46 Caller Statement.

50:48 Adam Question. Question. Do you want to dress up your sex life?

50:52 Drew Hi.

50:52 Adam Hi. Still a virgin?

50:54 Let's take a look at the moments.

50:56 Drew Line two, line two.

50:57 Caller Yeah.

50:58 Drew Oh, you want to hear some more?

50:59 Adam Let's see if Anderson has some of them.

51:01 Drew Pan Pan. Is David Arquette showing up after Adam said he was too nuts? He was certifiable. Yeah.

51:09 Adam Yeah. I don't think we have that one.

51:11 Drew Loveline phone sex operator saying she was lying in her bed thinking about the Holocaust.

51:15 Adam Yeah.

51:16 Drew That's a good one.

51:17 Adam Bring.

51:18 Drew Here it is.

51:18 Adam Bring.

51:19 Caller Hi. How you doing?

51:21 Adam Hi. What's your name?

51:22 Caller I'm Sugar.

51:23 Adam Sugar. I'm Ace. What are you wearing?

51:28 Caller Well, I'm wearing a nice black garter. Just thinking about the Holocaust right now.

51:39 Drew You got to get the setup for that.

51:41 Adam Yeah. We were, let's see, she was a phone sex operator who said her clients would get off too fast. And I was like, you know, the problem with you phone sex operators is you're always the name Tatiana, you're six foot two, you're Swedish, you have a D cup, you have a 34 triple D, you're 118 pounds, you have blue eyes. And the guy's like, what I was telling her is if you guys made yourself just a little bit flawed, it would keep things going.

52:18 Drew There's some subliminal messages you said.

52:19 Adam Yeah, like if you said, well, first thing, first message was, and this is just an overall message, like they have the phone sex operators, like let's be honest, you're not classic beauties, otherwise you'd be on the runway. You're not talking, not doing phone sex for a living. You know, say, look, I got to be honest with you. I had a couple of zits in high school and my ass could be a little smaller, but nice set on me and I know how to please a man orally. That would probably be enough to keep most of the guys who called going.

52:50 Drew Give a nice build.

52:51 Adam Yeah. So I said to her, look, what you need to do is start working in subliminal messages in order to keep the guy from busting a nut. So you just do this thing where you're like, I am 5'10, I'm Swedish, Vietnam. I got beautiful, beautiful boobs and a tight ass cancer. Now she didn't understand the concept of subliminal messages.

53:14 Drew We just had.

53:16 Adam So I explained to her, we'll work in the Holocaust, but do it subliminally. And she really couldn't do it.

53:22 Drew Well, first she had sort of a blank, there was a silence.

53:24 Adam First she didn't do it. And then I wondered if she did actually do it and she was so good at it that we just didn't know it. Then she, yes, she didn't know what the Holocaust was.

53:33 Drew That was the big thing, is there was a sort of blank stare across the radio and it was like, do you know what the Holocaust is? No, no.

53:41 Adam I'm telling you, I would like to have a clash of the Tardens, beauticians versus phone sex operators.

53:50 Drew Good clash.

53:51 Adam Aestheticians versus phone sex operators. Who knows less in this clash of the vacuous.

53:58 Drew Here now is one other moment that was one of my favorites. Aliens coming down and having to pick between, you said, we were talking about oral sex and this girl was complaining about it. And you said, now wait a minute, who really has it worse? If you were an alien, you came down and you saw the two different, the male phallus, the obligations. You know, one is taking on a churro and the other is a burying your face in an abalone.

54:24 Adam Yeah. Well, think about it, ladies, you're complaining.

54:28 Drew Do I ever know what an abalone looks like? I wonder, it's a palessopod. It's like a big, it's a big mollusk.

54:33 Adam More people know what a abalone is than a palessopod. I am just saying, if you took a huge, it's what we used to make ashtrays out of in the 70s. You took a huge big big abalone in broken half and said, bury your face in that. First, just put your mouth over this stick. You know what I mean?

54:51 Drew Who's got it worse?

54:52 Adam Who's got it worse?

54:53 Drew An abalone really, I mean.

54:55 Adam It covers it.

54:56 Drew Abalone covers it. When you pull that thing off the rock and that sort of folds in.

54:59 Adam Yeah. Thank you, Drew.

55:01 Caller You also said finger or open wound. Oh, that's a good one.

55:09 Drew But unfortunately, that is truly disgusting. That is disgusting. Abalone. I might like abalone.

55:14 Adam Well, I'm just, the point I'm trying to make is you broads complain all the time about performing oral on a guy. What about us on you?

55:21 Drew Yeah, that's right.

55:21 Adam You know what I'm saying?

55:22 Drew Abalone. Just think abalone.

55:23 Adam All right, Drew, let's take some calls. You can go through that later. All right. Again, though, I want to thank Adam for sending in these.

55:28 Drew Sure, you eat some of these potashos?

55:30 Adam $4 worth of nuts. No, don't, don't. And that's the other thing, too. Nuts are not cheap. And we have 60 pounds of pistachios, by the way.

55:38 Drew That's the not cheapest.

55:39 Adam Yeah. Somebody decided or somebody realized in 1978 that they no longer had to spray paint pistachio shells pink in order to sell pistachio nuts. And it makes sense. Like, what other food do you have to spray paint pink in order to sell it? You know what I'm saying? Like somebody's saying, look, we're spending millions of dollars a year on Red Dye, number 14 spraying these things and the equipment and all. Let's just give it up. Let's just go ahead and sell them as nature man. Yeah. People accept honors.

56:08 Drew Now I got to eat them.

56:09 Adam Yeah. Lindsay.

56:10 Caller Yeah.

56:11 Adam 29.

56:12 Caller How are you?

56:13 Adam Remember when they used to paint those pistachios pink?

56:16 Hell, yes.

56:17 Caller I remember when they were pink and I loved them.

56:19 Adam It would get all over your fingers, though, and all over them.

56:22 Caller What is that? I have no idea, and I have no idea why they stopped doing it, but you can't find them anywhere.

56:28 Adam I'll tell you, I would like to be the home of the pink pistachio shell. I would start a company, and it's like we're old school, baby. This gives you cancer, and it costs eight bucks more a sack, but we're painting them pink, baby. It's going to be just like your childhood.

56:41 Caller You're doing it, you know?

56:42 Drew Yeah. All right.

56:43 Caller What's up?

56:45 Adam What's up, baby doll?

56:47 Caller Well, you know, guys, I'm 29. I'm a pretty good looking lady. I have my own business. I'm super successful. I have lots of friends and I cannot have a sexual relationship for the life of me.

57:01 Adam Are you are you a virgin?

57:06 Caller Yeah, I would.

57:07 Caller Oh, I'm a virgin.

57:08 Drew Did something happen to you?

57:09 Adam Question, were you molested? Question, molested? Yes.

57:13 Caller Done the dad work, been there. I've been in therapy for years.

57:18 Drew But you can see, you can see how you be aversive to closeness, though, particularly physical closeness, right?

57:24 Caller Well, yeah. I mean, but I feel like I've done all this work. I was listening to you guys tonight. I was like, hell, yes, I'm calling boys. I'm going to find out like what their cue sense is on this because I'm well, I'm totally at a loss.

57:37 Drew Have you had a boyfriend or are you into men or girls?

57:40 Caller I'm into men.

57:41 Drew Have you had a boyfriend, a relationship?

57:43 Caller Well, sure, I can beat up a storm. I have tons of guy friends, but it's no, it's getting into the physical intimacy. And A, it's women near me. Like I can't, I don't know.

57:53 Adam Question, question, question.

57:55 Caller Yes, Adam.

57:56 Adam Question. Hold on, hold on.

57:59 Drew Hi.

58:00 Adam You know, Drew, Lindsay has that thing where A, she can't talk like I'm talking right now. But B, some people get molested and they get angry and they turn in on themselves and they, and it takes them. When you get molested, you either get the three Mississippi or, or you can't finish your sentence syndrome.

58:22 Drew Because you're so, you're so sped up.

58:23 Adam Yes. I know you don't like to be put on the spot because you've only been speaking extemporaneously on the radio for 26 years. But ask me a yes or no question. I'll give you an example of both of them.

58:35 Drew Were you molested when you were a child?

58:40 Adam Depends what you mean by molested.

58:43 Drew Is your dad still around? No, I didn't. Is your dad still around?

58:46 Adam Yes, he is.

58:47 Drew Right.

58:48 Adam Either they clip your last three syllables or you have a three Mississippi before one syllable comes out of their mouth.

58:55 Drew You're right.

58:56 Adam I like this one better, by the way. These are the ones who pay their taxes.

58:59 Drew These are the co-dependents.

59:00 Adam They're successful.

59:01 Drew She said, They're the co-dependent.

59:04 Adam They got a rap going. Let's try to slow her down to 33 speed. Lindsay?

59:12 Caller Yes.

59:13 Adam Thank you.

59:15 Caller Paying attention.

59:16 Adam Okay. All right. Now, Who molested you? Question. Who molested you?

59:22 Caller Family member.

59:24 Adam Family member.

59:24 Drew Brother?

59:26 Caller Dad.

59:26 Drew Dad. That's pretty heavy.

59:28 Adam How long did this go on for?

59:31 Caller Pretty much my whole life.

59:32 Caller Oof.

59:33 Caller Up until I was about 24, 25.

59:37 Drew Did you say you were an addict also?

59:39 Caller Yeah.

59:40 Drew So you're in treatment, recovery, and...

59:42 Adam Hold on, Drew. We missed one. 24, 25? Yeah.

59:46 Drew I was going to say you've only been away from your primary relationship for four years. I mean...

59:52 Caller Yeah.

59:52 Drew You know...

59:53 Adam Now, Lindsay, these are tough questions, but were you having intercourse with your dad when you were 23?

1:00:01 Caller No.

1:00:02 Caller What was he doing?

1:00:04 Caller It was super subtle, just sexualizing me in every way, shape, and form.

1:00:12 Drew Did he ever more overtly sexualize you?

1:00:15 Caller Yeah. There was a lot of groping, but it wasn't the type of groping that you could nail down and be like, hey, look at how disgusting that is. It was giving a hug and the wandering hands.

1:00:26 Drew All right.

1:00:27 Adam Well, wait a minute, Drew.

1:00:29 Drew There is a lot of covert sexual abuse out there.

1:00:31 Adam I know, but now you're 23 years old or 20, you are 23 years old and you're going back to the house for Thanksgiving and he gives you a hug and you feel like he grabs your ass? Or how does it work?

1:00:45 Caller Yeah, exactly.

1:00:47 Drew He does grab your ass?

1:00:48 Yeah.

1:00:49 Adam What is the worst he did to you?

1:00:56 Caller You know, that's the worst physical that happened. The rest is all and all. It was just...

1:01:05 Drew Hold on.

1:01:06 Adam Wait a minute.

1:01:07 Drew But I mean, if she's being exposed to pornography and stuff at a young age...

1:01:10 Adam Okay, but first off, don't say your dad molested you until you're 24, and then explain, well, he would hug me, and the way his hands were on my hips were inappropriate, that was the worst he did. This, by the way, makes a mockery of those. This is a statement, statement.

1:01:29 Drew Hi.

1:01:30 Adam This is a slap in the face to those who are actually, you know, brutally sexually abused by family members. Not that this wasn't something, but this certainly felt like something, but I'm sure your dad's a weirdo, but this is not the kind of stuff that gets anyone put behind bars or anything.

1:01:47 Drew No, no.

1:01:48 Adam It's strange. I mean, I'm sure he did a bunch of verbal damage and stuff, and emotional abuse, but I don't know if I would look at myself as sexually abused by this guy. Well, I can't be the first person to say that, can I?

1:02:07 Caller Yeah, you can.

1:02:10 Adam Well, unless there's something, there's something-

1:02:12 Caller I'm telling you in 30 seconds on the radio, but-

1:02:15 Drew There are other stories.

1:02:16 Adam Well, I'm sure he's a bad guy, but physically, sexually, the hugs with the groping. That's as bad as it got? Did you say yes?

1:02:28 Drew I couldn't hear.

1:02:29 Yeah, yeah.

1:02:31 Drew Did he expose you to pornography or other- Oh, yeah, yeah. So at a young age, there's a lot of pornography around, that kind of thing.

1:02:36 Caller In my bedroom, yeah.

1:02:38 Drew Yeah, okay, that tends to be-

1:02:39 Adam Why in your bedroom?

1:02:40 Caller I have no idea.

1:02:41 Adam Well, I mean, I would stash it there. It's like putting the drugs in the kid's diaper bag, you know what I mean?

1:02:46 Drew I understand. That can be very traumatizing to young girls.

1:02:49 Adam What did he do? Tow truck driver? Rover.

1:02:53 Drew Publicist.

1:02:54 Caller Oh, he's a businessman.

1:02:56 Caller Okay.

1:02:58 Adam And is he still together with your mom?

1:03:01 Caller No, he remarried when I was young. So, yeah, they've still been married for forever.

1:03:07 Adam Would he, if we spoke to him, would he have any idea of any of these feelings or these things?

1:03:12 Caller No. I have brought them all to his attention, but it's nothing that he can process or understand.

1:03:20 Adam Do you have any other brothers or sisters?

1:03:24 Drew Hang on a sec. I gotta get back to her question. I gotta talk to her. Are guys coming on to you physically? Do they want to have sex with you?

1:03:31 Caller No. I mean, if they do, they're my dad's age.

1:03:36 Adam Question, question, question, wait, question, wait. How much do you weigh?

1:03:43 Caller How much do I weigh?

1:03:44 Adam Question, wait, wait.

1:03:47 Caller I weigh 148.

1:03:50 Adam Statement, 165.

1:03:53 Caller No.

1:03:54 Adam Alright, 148. Alright, Lindsay.

1:04:00 Drew Guys, don't come on to you. You don't read it.

1:04:02 Adam And you're a virgin. Why are you a virgin?

1:04:06 Caller Well, cause I'm terrified to get into a relationship, or I have been. And I'm not interested in being alone anymore.

1:04:15 Drew Why are you terrified of a relationship? What is it that scares you about it?

1:04:23 Caller Well, I think it's the losing myself in a relationship, being scared to be myself.

1:04:29 Drew Alright, here's the deal.

1:04:32 Adam Therapy, baby.

1:04:32 Drew Yeah, she's had a lot of therapy.

1:04:34 Adam Well, get some more.

1:04:35 Drew Here's what I think, that you're way up in your head with all this stuff. Be very careful of guys you're very attracted to, because your dad is undoubtedly an A-hole, and he's been abandoning, and he's had these sort of traumatic, sort of traumatizing influences on you. So, you're going to be attracted to that kind of guy. So, be careful of what you're attracted to. Go for guys that are nice and available, spend some time with them, and then jump in. You're 29, you're a big girl, it's okay. And if it's a good guy, prepare him that this is a tough thing for you, and if it's a guy that really cares about you, it's hard to understand why guys would not be coming onto you and looking to have sex with you, right? I mean, if she's what she says she is.

1:05:13 Adam Well, some people put off a force field around their vagina that couldn't be breached with sidewinder missiles. I've run into a few of those, pow.

1:05:27 Drew But hey, go with a guy that's a little interesting, but not exciting.

1:05:31 Adam But Lindsay, I'm going to take a marginally different tack than Drew here, which is your dad did not molest you. Stop saying you're a victim of molestation. He was a bad dad. My sister had a bad dad too.

1:05:45 Drew I've seen some sex addicts and porn stars who had that kind of history that Lindsay's got. So it can have a bad outcome.

1:05:53 Adam I'm just saying you walking around telling people you were molested by your dad or thinking that makes you a victim is not the way to go. I think the biggest thing your dad probably did is he left, started another family, abandoned you and broke your heart. And that's why you can't hook up with another guy.

1:06:09 Drew That's also why you blame him for making a victim.

1:06:10 Adam You then turned him into a criminal. His only crime was not loving you enough and going and starting another family.

1:06:19 Drew Yeah.

1:06:20 Adam You know, I mean, here's the thing. Dig on this.

1:06:24 Drew By the way, it wasn't that he didn't love her enough. It just didn't love her mom enough.

1:06:28 Adam Well, that's the way she perceived it. But Drew, pick upon this. Would you dig on this?

1:06:32 Drew I'm digging.

1:06:33 Adam Pick up on this. Dig on this. Would you dig on this? There's a statement, dig on this, statement, dig, state, dig, state, dig, state, dig. Okay, when there's a daughter, and daddy has an ass full of mom, and can't hang with mom, and starts dating his secretary, and he gets the younger wife, or the whatever wife, and the next thing you know, he moves across town, and he should live with that woman. And of course, that woman doesn't like him going around, till he doesn't have a real vested interest in his kids or whatever from his previous whatever. They're just vestiges of that bitch that they don't like who got to keep the house and is trying to screw the guy over in the divorce or whatever. So they start the new family, and they essentially, because they're under the thumb of the new chick, don't spend so much time, and it makes them bad guys, don't spend as much time, essentially abandon their daughter. The sons end up going to school and fighting, and getting drunk. The chicks, it is devastating to them. It is devastating to the woman. And the woman have to then, I think it feels like dad tried to kill them.

1:07:46 Drew I don't hear those kinds of complaints.

1:07:47 Adam No, I don't hear that specific complaint. But what I'm saying is, is it feels egregious. I mean, it was traumatizing.

1:07:54 Drew It's powerlessness, yes.

1:07:55 Adam Right. And so I think sometimes, I think in Lindsay's, it's annihilating. I think in Lindsay's case, she's trying to make her dad as bad a guy as she feels he is. He is, yeah, yeah. When he, the reality is, is he probably left.

1:08:10 Drew Yeah, yeah. I'm with you.

1:08:11 Adam All right.

1:08:12 Drew All right.

1:08:12 Adam Okay.

1:08:13 Drew Hey, wait, wait. Before we go to break.

1:08:15 Adam Statement heavy.

1:08:15 Drew Hi.

1:08:16 Adam Statement heavy.

1:08:16 Caller Hi.

1:08:17 Adam Statement heavy.

1:08:17 Drew Pull Scott up here. Before I eat these pistachios, I need to know something. Scott, 41.

1:08:22 Caller Yeah, how you doing?

1:08:23 Adam What's happening?

1:08:25 Caller All right. A big fan of the show. I just want to let you guys know that the reason they dye them red is because the original came from the Middle East, specifically Iran, and that's a very caste conscious area. And what they would do is they would dye them red because that's the color of royalty. And that means we're having the best pistachios you could have.

1:08:45 Adam So the red ones were the... Well, the red ones meant they were the best pistachios, but then they all start dyeing them red.

1:08:51 Drew Right. Right.

1:08:52 Caller But the thing is, it's supposed to be like the food of royalty.

1:08:54 Drew Do they dye other food red? Did they used to dye other food red in Iran?

1:08:58 Caller Probably not, because they're probably not a big agrarian society. It's more just because of those trees and the olive trees and stuff like that grow naturally.

1:09:05 Drew It was probably one of those things.

1:09:07 Caller And since they grow them all here now, no one's going to bother dyeing them red.

1:09:10 Drew They did for a long time, though.

1:09:12 Caller Yeah, but you know, it's a huge pain in the butt. Who needs that, right?

1:09:15 Drew We're with you.

1:09:15 Adam I'm with you. Thanks, Scott.

1:09:16 Drew Hi.

1:09:17 Adam Yeah. Yeah, I was just thinking of the Middle East, you know, Exxon and whoever turned their biggest profits, quarterly profits ever. I was just hearing on the news.

1:09:29 Drew Really?

1:09:29 Adam Yeah. And big scandal, just a little, little news. Joe, don't put that in your mouth. But, you know, big scandal with the embargo in Iran.

1:09:39 Drew Oh, yes. A little kickback, a little kickback.

1:09:41 Adam A little kickback. Mostly, mostly Soviet Union and France.

1:09:44 Drew It's shocking.

1:09:45 Adam Top of the list. Top of the list of people that were kicking. But I think Saddam got $2 billion himself from those companies. Yeah.

1:09:55 Caller See?

1:09:56 Adam That's the whole thing, everyone. People don't just do the right thing. You have to watch them and then if they don't do it, you have to come down on them. I don't know why.

1:10:07 Drew By the way, all the people that participated with Saddam should be punished too. Yeah.

1:10:12 Adam Yeah, this is the UN oil embargo.

1:10:14 Drew For god sakes, the people that didn't resist Hitler were considered criminal.

1:10:19 Adam And there's this thing that the left always does with this country. It's like, hey man, who made us the watchdog? We became the watchdog because we're surrounded by F-ups. That's why. If North Korea would just go about their business, it'd be fine. If the Soviet Union was a wonderful wonderland of democracy where people were freed and not oppressed, if Cuba wasn't, of all these places were goddamn disasters, we wouldn't be the world's watchdog. If you didn't hijack a few airplanes and fly them into a few financial centers, we'd leave you alone. It's like saying to the warden, it's like, who made you warden of the prison? I got a bunch of people that committed murder. Someone's got to, we got to round them up, we got to pull them off, we got to pull them over. What makes you the, what makes us? We're sane and we're decent. That's what makes us the watchdog.

1:11:17 Drew Hi.

1:11:18 Adam That's why we're the watchdog.

1:11:20 Drew Huzzah.

1:11:21 Adam Yeah, because they're trying to, they're trying to perpetrate genocide, Rwanda, and someone's got to stop it. That's why we're the watchdog. France isn't doing anything. What made us the watchdog? We're decent. We have money. That's what makes us the watchdog. You have money, you have a little heart. Yeah. Yeah.

1:11:42 Drew Hi.

1:11:42 Adam Oh, you got, oh, what? But you get sucked, you get sucked in World War I, you get sucked into these wars. Yeah, yeah. We understand there's a bad sign, a good sign. We'll go support the good sign, see if we can win it for him.

1:11:55 Drew Yeah. Hi.

1:11:56 Adam I mean, making it a little too simple, but you know what I'm saying. Okay. Take a quick break. Be right back after this.

1:12:03 Caller I feel so liquidy. Really? You're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline will be right back.

1:12:12 Adam Want to dress up your sex life? Visit durex.com. There's sex and then there's Durex. Hell yeah. Statement, we're setting them clocks back. Drew, put these nuts away. Setting the clocks back on Sunday. Excited. So sad.

1:12:46 Drew And then we'll get one extra hour.

1:12:47 Adam We talk about it every year, though, but every year we come in here, when we set the clock forward, we come in here like rape victims. Just come in here, just eject it, like, oh my God, can't get clean. That's true, just a thousand-yard stare. Woke up at eight this morning.

1:13:05 Caller It was nine!

1:13:08 Drew Lost an hour.

1:13:10 Adam Know what time it is now? 1130. 1030, it's really 1030! But now, the worm has turned.

1:13:20 Drew We're going back.

1:13:20 Adam Turnabout, fair play. That's what I say to the clock. In your face, clock with a face. Know what I mean? In your literal face, clock. We're going back, baby. It's going to be awesome.

1:13:34 Drew Let's try Tiffany again. She told us to wait. We gave her an hour and 10 minutes.

1:13:39 Adam Oh.

1:13:40 Drew She told us to come back to her. We're coming back.

1:13:42 Adam I had a funny thing. I have one of these clocks. It's like hooked up to the satellite. It tells you exactly what time it is.

1:13:50 Drew Yes, those atomic clocks.

1:13:51 Adam The seconds and everything. But the problem is, is this thing is on like mountain time. So, it's always an hour behind. And then when it switches, it switches again. And I go and set it forward, and it sets it back again.

1:14:08 Drew There's an adjustment you can make on it.

1:14:09 Adam Well, there's a funny thing though. It's like one of these like, I had the world's worst assistant, Scott, and I now work with him. And he was such a bad assistant, I figured I'd get him a job working on my TV show, so he wouldn't have to be my assistant anymore. But I said to him, this was a year ago, I said to him, like, Scott, that clock you bought a year ago, it drives me nuts, because every time I set it, it jumps back an hour. And he's like, oh yeah, they told me they had a setting, you could get it set from the whatever in a minute. I never, and that's like, oh, your legacy lives on.

1:14:43 Caller There you go.

1:14:45 Adam I can do the math, don't get me wrong. I can make it 9.30 in my mind's eye, even when the clock says 8.30. But it's the idea that I pull it off an adjustment, put it back, adjust it, put it back on the wall, step back from it and watch it pop over an hour. That's the good part. See, man? It's what Orwell was talking about, dude.

1:15:03 Drew Tiffany.

1:15:04 Adam Tiffany?

1:15:05 Drew Hello.

1:15:06 Adam 21.

1:15:06 Caller How early are you guys?

1:15:07 Drew What were you doing?

1:15:09 Caller I'm at work. So I know not the best time to call, but you know.

1:15:12 Caller What are you doing? I have to help people.

1:15:15 Caller I work at a check cashing place. So, you know, they come in, they want to cash their checks.

1:15:19 Drew That's a weird. I always see the signs for those places, you know.

1:15:22 Adam Yeah.

1:15:22 Drew There's a lot of cash now. All right.

1:15:24 Adam Let me know now.

1:15:25 Caller Hold on.

1:15:27 Adam Here's the thing. First off, that is one of those Manson has better karma than the guy who started that place.

1:15:35 Drew Do they? What do they do? Take half the money to give them the cash advance?

1:15:38 Adam Poor Mexicans come in there with their checks and they take 15 percent and give them.

1:15:43 Drew Why?

1:15:44 Adam Because they don't have ID, because they don't have bank accounts, because they don't have two forms of ID, because they're living off the grid and under the radar. These places come in.

1:15:54 Drew By the way, I had a problem with Bank of America that they wouldn't cash a check, cashier's check, that I signed because it was made out to David Drew Pinsky.

1:16:01 Adam Drew came in there with spats and tails and a top hat.

1:16:04 Drew I came in with multiple IDs, a license to practice medicine, driving with David Drew Pinsky with my signature on the back.

1:16:11 Adam But Drew, Drew, this is about the poor Mexicans. This isn't about you. You're literally a friend of a millionaire. You're fine. You're white. You'll get by. These are the poor Latinos. They open these places up. They come in there. They get their check for 300 bucks and they walk with 285. And then they swing over to the Pony Express place and spend another 12 bucks sending the stuff back to Guadalajara. Whatever they use. I don't think they use big name places like this. I think they use the actual pony. Drag it into Tijuana. Big sacks, banditos stopping them along the border. The point is, this is preying on people. Now here's the deal. The reason you, Drew, and no one you know has ever gone into one of these check cashing places is because you know professional people that have accounts and credit cards and insurance and make a living. This is the lowest of the low and we get it, yes. We have our, we've always talked about how it cost more money to be poor.

1:17:19 Drew Here's a good example of that.

1:17:21 Adam This is perfect. This is perfect. Tiffany.

1:17:25 Caller Yes.

1:17:26 Adam Who do you have coming through there?

1:17:27 Drew She's in Arizona.

1:17:28 Caller We have a whole lot of Mexicans. It's just a bunch of people who have bank accounts, but they just want their check cash now.

1:17:34 Adam Well then why do you have that big banner that says welcome Mexicans out front? That's what I want to know.

1:17:39 Caller So we can raise the price, I guess. I don't know.

1:17:41 Adam What do you, so you have a lot of people that lost their bank accounts?

1:17:45 Caller No, they have bank accounts. Their banks just not open, so they want their check cash now, I guess. There's no patients.

1:17:51 Adam And they're willing to pay 10 percent or whatever it is?

1:17:54 Caller Yes, they are.

1:17:55 Caller So we give them free candy. So I think it's a fair exchange.

1:17:58 Adam Is it 10 percent?

1:18:00 Caller No, actually, it's not.

1:18:01 Drew It's 20.

1:18:02 Caller It's only 10 percent for personal checks.

1:18:04 Adam All right. And for payroll checks, it's what?

1:18:07 Caller It's 3 percent.

1:18:09 Adam But still.

1:18:10 Drew Listen, you pay two bucks at an ATM for a $200 withdrawal. It's 1 percent.

1:18:15 Caller Yeah.

1:18:16 Adam You pay for 200 bucks withdrawal. Michelle pays two bucks for $20 withdrawal.

1:18:20 Drew That's what I'm saying. It's 1 percent at the best.

1:18:24 Caller No.

1:18:24 Adam No. And not a bunch of low lives coming in there.

1:18:29 Caller Well, I'm sure it's everywhere.

1:18:31 Adam Okay.

1:18:32 Drew What's your question?

1:18:33 Adam It's very casual.

1:18:34 Drew There we go.

1:18:34 Caller Okay. My question is, I've had my hood pierced since I was about 16. And recently I've started taking it out more because it kind of gets in the way.

1:18:43 Drew Of? In the way of what?

1:18:46 Caller When, you know, you're trying to do things with other people that are dirty. Right. You don't want it to be in the way. So I started taking it out more.

1:18:54 Drew Well, why'd you get it put in? Why'd you get it put in? Was it for those dirty activities?

1:19:01 Caller I was curious. I kind of... Okay, this might sound stupid, but I didn't really know where the clitoris was. So my original intention was to get the clitoris pierced. But they said...

1:19:09 Drew So you could mark it. So like say, here it is.

1:19:11 Caller Yeah.

1:19:11 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

1:19:12 Drew Not a bad... By the way, one of the least objectionable reasons to have that I've heard in a long time.

1:19:17 Adam It's like when you're looking at that...

1:19:17 Drew Especially when you're dealing with guys.

1:19:19 Adam Yeah. Looking at that big map when you're at the mall. Have that axe. You are here. That's right.

1:19:24 Drew But for the dudes, I mean, they're clueless on this stuff.

1:19:26 Caller What's that? To help you guys out a little bit. I don't know.

1:19:29 Adam Yeah.

1:19:30 Caller Yeah.

1:19:30 Drew The man are just clueless.

1:19:31 Adam But a stud isn't going to do it for me. I need a bell, cowbell.

1:19:35 Caller Wow.

1:19:36 Adam Yeah. I couldn't find it. Even just a little hoop or stud or something. I need a full book. By the way, how pissed are cows about that cowbell? Here's a huge bell to wear around your neck. Really? I'm going to kill myself.

1:19:49 Drew That's all right.

1:19:50 Adam We're going to kill you in a few years and eat you anyway. So put a huge bell.

1:19:55 Drew You see the ones in Switzerland, too, they're huge.

1:19:57 Adam No, I'm not, Drew. But I have seen pictures of the ones from North Hollywood. Tiffany?

1:20:03 Caller Yes.

1:20:03 Drew So what's the question now?

1:20:05 Caller Okay. I've been leaving it out for longer periods of time now because I'm not as afraid that it's going to close. And every time that I urinate, it seems like it's harder for me to. I was just wondering if it's even possible that the hole might be closing.

1:20:17 Drew Harder for you to what?

1:20:19 Caller Urinate? Yes.

1:20:21 Drew But that's coming from a whole different area.

1:20:23 Caller Are you sure? Because that's what I believe the piercing is through.

1:20:26 Drew No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Way off.

1:20:32 Adam Statement. You're dumb.

1:20:34 Caller Wow.

1:20:35 Drew You're miles off.

1:20:36 Adam Tiffany.

1:20:36 Caller Yes?

1:20:37 Adam I'm not even going to go junior college for you.

1:20:39 Caller No, actually, a university, thank you.

1:20:43 Adam Really?

1:20:43 Caller Yep.

1:20:44 Adam If the Dean is listening, sir, you need to take your own life.

1:20:48 Caller I'm not dumb, but I'm telling you, the piercing, it's right there.

1:20:52 Adam Let me explain the part where people proclaim they're not dumb. That is not for them to decide or announce. That is for us, the consumer, to decide, and we've already passed judgment.

1:21:02 Drew So here's the urethra down here, inside the vagina, beneath the labia, and there's the clitoris up here.

1:21:11 Adam It's a full city block away from the urethra.

1:21:13 Drew Well, it's a different part of the anatomy entirely.

1:21:16 Adam It's in the same time zone my goddamn clock is. It's mountain time, this is standard.

1:21:21 Drew Yes.

1:21:22 Adam Wow.

1:21:23 Drew Urethral orifice.

1:21:25 Adam Tiffany works at a check cashing place and doesn't know what she pee's out of. What she pee's out of.

1:21:31 Caller Okay, I'm looking at it right now, and I swear, the piercing goes right where it is that the pee comes out of, so you know.

1:21:36 Drew Well, you might, it's just above that. It's outside your vagina. You don't have the piercing inside the lips.

1:21:42 Adam The pee comes off of it. It's like when you get an oil leak in your car in the front of the oil pan, it follows it and drips off the transmission, and you think it's coming out of the transmission. Right.

1:21:53 Drew The real orifice is inside the vagina.

1:21:55 Caller Okay.

1:21:56 Caller So I don't have to worry that it's closing then.

1:21:58 Caller Everything's fine.

1:21:59 Adam No. No. Let it close.

1:22:01 Drew Let it close.

1:22:02 Caller Well, thank you.

1:22:03 Drew Let it close. Let it close. Let it close.

1:22:07 Adam Are you still going to the university?

1:22:09 Caller Yes, I am.

1:22:10 Drew Said university of Arizona?

1:22:14 Caller No.

1:22:14 Drew Okay.

1:22:15 Adam All right. Do you have a boyfriend?

1:22:16 Caller No.

1:22:18 Caller Okay.

1:22:19 Adam How does the check cashing place pay? Just gives you an hourly rate?

1:22:23 Caller I'm not going to tell you that. You'll mock it. It's probably like 300 times less than what you guys make.

1:22:30 Adam I would kill myself if that was true. I really would.

1:22:34 Caller Okay.

1:22:34 Adam Well, thank you. Is it 650 an hour?

1:22:37 Caller No.

1:22:38 Adam More? Okay. Not bad. We'll take a break.

1:22:44 Drew That's about 300 times less than what you make.

1:22:45 Adam Is that true? Yeah. Has POS told us the link to obesity?

1:22:51 Drew Polycystic ovaries. We'll talk about that.

1:22:53 Adam I just want to say hi to Julie. Julie?

1:22:55 Caller Yes.

1:22:56 Adam How much do you weigh?

1:22:57 Caller I'm about 200 pounds right now.

1:23:00 Adam All right. Were you more before?

1:23:03 Caller Well, I was actually really skinny up until about I think maybe two years ago.

1:23:12 Drew I had a little girl.

1:23:13 Adam Drew, please.

1:23:14 Drew You had a what?

1:23:15 Caller I had a daughter and I gained a little bit over 100 pounds with the pregnancy.

1:23:19 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:23:20 Adam Okay.

1:23:21 Caller So I've lost about 60 pounds so far. I still need to lose a little bit more.

1:23:25 Adam But does it make you sick when you turn on like entertainment tonight is like sexy Denise Richards six weeks after giving birth to Charlie Sheen's second child on the beach for a sizzling photo shoot? Well, how did she do it?

1:23:41 Caller The difference between me and celebrities is the fact that they have all day long to work out and nothing else to do.

1:23:48 Adam And they always do that stupid things like, how did she do it? Well, a cardio weightlifting. Oh, you didn't just dive into a vat of pudding.

1:24:01 Caller Oh, what?

1:24:03 Caller You didn't lie.

1:24:04 Drew The reality is she probably could because her genes are so damn good.

1:24:07 Adam Yeah. Close your eyes. Picture Denise Richards. That's what she looks like. And she craps out a kid and she's 26. And she snaps back to what she looks like because you pretty much just get back to where you are. You have those genes, you have those genes. Yeah, you work out a little bit, but they always do that. And they must torture the other women who can't get rid of that little flab around the gut or the wide ass or whatever. They're just like, how did she do it? And it's of course, it's so.

1:24:37 Drew A lot of plastic surgery, too.

1:24:39 Adam It's so convenient. A lot of those. It's so convenient, though, it's like, oh, man, I work my tail off. And then the guy who's sitting at home looking at his wife that's been carrying around the extra 35 pounds for the year and a half looks at her and goes, why aren't you working? Jeans ain't working. That's what ain't working. She's got the smoking, piping hot jeans. That's the way she's cut.

1:25:01 Drew The cut of her jib.

1:25:02 Adam You could tell. You could tell because she was piping hot before the kids. That's how. Is it always such a surprise to you? Like, Drew, close your eyes. Picture the young, hot, Hollywood female celebrity who craps out a kid in her early 20s, balloons up to 300 pounds, they never see her again. Is that the norm? Why is it shocking news? A short six weeks after giving birth, she's, and how did she do it? Oh, she's working. What happened to Phoebe Cates? She's got a trainer.

1:25:32 Drew Phoebe Cates, what did happen to her?

1:25:33 Adam Phoebe Cates remained smoking hot. She just got pulled out of the game. She got benched.

1:25:41 Drew Sure.

1:25:42 Adam Kevin Klein benched her. A rare, a rare combination of smoking hot and didn't mind showing the boobies. Pulled out, cut down in her prime. It's a rare combination. It's like this guy runs a 4-4-40 and has a 4.3 GPA, student athlete, unheard of, cut down, horrific knee injury, junior year, never laced cleats on again.

1:26:08 Drew She stay at home mom now or something?

1:26:10 Adam She was showing boobs in Fast Times at Richmond High. She had this other movie called Private School. She was all hot and cute and everything. I think she's got married to Kevin Klein. Sometimes you're young and they're like, we're having kids, we're sane, that'll be enough. I'll make all the money, they're cool. Sounds incredibly sane to me. I made another movie or two, but no, not interested. Gremlins, yeah. You know why she didn't like Christmas, Drew, and Gremlins? Dad got stuck in the fireplace.

1:26:37 Drew Oh, that's right.

1:26:38 Adam Noticed a smell coming from it about a week later. Cut it out, it was dad in there.

1:26:43 Drew Of course.

1:26:44 Adam That's why.

1:26:45 Drew Yeah. Dad was just barely able to get down that six inch flu.

1:26:51 Caller When I was a kid, I saw that in the theater and one guy laughed out very loud and I was disturbed, very disturbed.

1:26:55 Adam I think that may have been me. For those of you, we got to take a break, but for those of you who have not seen the movie Gremlins, see it just to watch the scene, it's a fantasy romp until the brakes go on the train with the sparks flying out of them when Phoebe Cates explains why she doesn't like Christmas. No irony either. No tongue in cheek. Dad went out Christmas Eve, never came back, her and her mom, they went to light a fire, noticed a smell coming from the chimney. I've studied it, thought there was an animal in there, a bird or a raccoon, firemen broke open the chimney, found dad's decomposing corpse, and that's why she doesn't like Christmas. Couldn't be a Jew. She doesn't like Christmas, that's why. Awesome. And here's the thing too, yes. For every third movie, someone's trying to crawl down a chimney, flues are the size of your fist. You couldn't get your, you have difficulty getting your arm down. They have dampeners on the top and stuff. They have a fire shelf on the bottom, which is long and narrow. Just go ahead and reach your hand up your chimney, see how far you can get it up from the fireplace. You can't get your forearm through the shelf.

1:28:11 Drew Leave it to film.

1:28:12 Adam Alright.

1:28:12 Drew Here we go.

1:28:13 Adam We'll take a quick break, be right back after this.

1:28:15 Caller I feel so liquidy, really, why? You're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline will be right back.

1:28:41 Adam Yeah, Loveline, that's what I'm talking about. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er. That's military talk, kitty.

1:28:48 Drew I want to hear another one of the favorites that Adam put down here for us, Adam Markey.

1:28:53 Adam Adam, the guy who sent us these nuts meeting right now.

1:28:56 Drew Yeah, Dave D'Angriere making up names. Oh, recent edition. Can I hear that one?

1:29:02 Adam I want to hear the long form, one of those, and hear Drew highly.

1:29:07 Drew All right, but basically, I was, we were talking to a girl about the kinds of things you can use for morning after pill, the different chemicals, the different birth control pills, and what needs to be in the pill in order for it to be effective. The actual chemical names, and all of a sudden, David launched.

1:29:22 Adam Now, Drew, let's be fair. Not all of a sudden. I said those would make good names, and you kept trying to power, overpower Dave, and keep going with the list until about 10 minutes into it, and you caught on at the spot.

1:29:34 Drew But he did launch in a bunch of things.

1:29:36 Adam Oh, he's a talent. I just, if you listen to the long form tape, you can hear you going, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-

1:29:50 Drew Take a dose of that now and a dose 12 hours later. That's what you need. There can also be the 100 micrograms of SA. That's an ulcer dial. You have polycystic ovarian disease? It's the, it's the, it's the, Okay, and what's your question?

1:30:01 Caller Hey, wait guys, I just, I just messed up. I was playing it for you on air, but you couldn't even hear it.

1:30:05 Adam Oh, okay. Well, hold on, let's hear it again.

1:30:06 Caller Everyone else did, except for you guys, and you started talking.

1:30:09 Drew The whole thing?

1:30:10 Caller Yeah, no, not the whole thing. It's like two and a half minutes, so.

1:30:13 Drew Hey, we gotta finish with Julie quick. Hurry, hurry, hurry. All right, Julie.

1:30:16 Caller Okay.

1:30:17 Drew Do you have a question about it?

1:30:18 Caller I do. I just wanted to know what you think about my situation. So, I was skinny before, about 17% body fat, and then I got pregnant and I ballooned up to like 280 pounds right before I had my daughter.

1:30:32 Drew What's your question?

1:30:33 Caller Well, my question is, I had frequent lapses in my menstrual cycle before, and then after I was pregnant, after I had the baby, I just wouldn't stop bleeding. So, my doctor prescribed Yasmin birth control pills for me, which those are fine, but I was just wondering, and my doctor couldn't figure out why I was bleeding so much afterwards, and it lasted for almost a year.

1:30:55 Drew Well, just being overweight, first of all, being overweight can do that. It makes you sort of have non-ovulatory cycles, and being overweight can sort of induce polycystic ovarian. On the other hand, PCO is associated with what you've got, which is a big weight gainer, just being obese, and insulin resistance. You may want to get on some glucophage. It helps decrease the risk of insulin.

1:31:13 Adam Back to the doctor.

1:31:14 Drew All right, here we go.

1:31:15 Adam We got here David Hungry. Sorry, buddy.

1:31:18 Drew Or two milligrams of norethindron.

1:31:20 Adam Dave has a sister named Norethindron.

1:31:22 Drew Yeah, those, and again, take a dose of that now and a dose 12 hours later. That's what you need. There can also be the 100 micrograms of ethanol estradiol, which is-

1:31:31 Ethanol, estradiol, norethindron, y'all get in the house.

1:31:34 Drew It's the progesterone, it's the levonogestrel.

1:31:37 And where is the levonogestrel?

1:31:39 Drew Or the norethindron.

1:31:42 put that whiffle ball back down, come in the house. Show behind, I'm sick of these kids, man. Northendro- what?

1:31:50 Caller What is it?

1:31:52 Epinestro?

1:31:54 Adam Drew, what else am I? My dang name is-

1:32:01 Drew Memphis Pristone. Memphis Pristone.

1:32:04 I'm here to pick up Memphis Pristone. Memphis Pristone. Memphis Pristone, Memphis Stapolese, you- if you don't get into this dodd comet, at the count of three, I will wear your behind out. And get that for real, your sister, please.

1:32:22 Drew Drew, what else you got? Norgestrel.

1:32:24 Caller Norgestrel.

1:32:26 Norgestrel. Did you take my beer can? Norgestrel.

1:32:35 Adam One more.

1:32:38 Drew Well, Northendrone. That was the original one.

1:32:40 Adam It's got to be one more.

1:32:41 Drew Come on.

1:32:42 Adam Come on.

1:32:43 Oh, my God.

1:32:44 Adam Anything. It could be- it could be for high blood pressure.

1:32:47 Drew Noliparous.

1:32:48 Caller Noliparous. You are my oldest son. I have- Noliparous, please. Please. Bring your bicycle in the back. Streetlights is on.

1:33:02 Caller Now come on.

1:33:02 Caller Stop. Stop. Stop playing.

1:33:05 Caller David Allen Grier in the studio tonight.

1:33:09 Adam Oh, my. That cracks me up.

1:33:12 Caller Northendrone.

1:33:13 Adam Take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Well, that's it. That's the show. That's the week. I want to thank Patricia for doing a great job on the phones. Rick for doing a great job on the boards. Marcus doing a great job on the boards. This sounds like we have quite a crew here. It's just everyone works an hour and then leaves. Anderson. Michelle doing a great job. The magic fingered one, engineered Anderson.

1:34:22 Caller Of course, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Question. Junior.

1:34:31 Caller Hi.

1:34:32 Caller Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, This would not make the top 10 a little bit.

1:34:40 Adam Junior, Junior, Producer. Lawrence for doing a great job all week and Producer Ann. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo. How does the check cashing place pay? Just gives you an hourly rate?

1:34:55 Caller I'm not going to tell you that you'll mock it. It's probably like 300 times less than what you guys make.

1:35:01 Adam I would kill myself if that was true.

1:35:04 Drew I really would.

1:35:07 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, October 27, 2005