Episode 1000728771218

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Michael Weatherly is here tonight. Pauley Perrette is here tonight from NCIS, which airs at 8 p.m. on CBS. We had a lot of people waiting out front to actually... You know, Drew, you want to know why we're the world's worst radio host? Why's that? Because I pulled up the driveway and asked the splosers who's on the show. I saw the splosers, a hybrid, part spaz, part loser. These are the guys who wait with the autographs, who sell it on eBay. But I pulled up and I saw the sploser and I said, what's up? And they're like, I knew someone was on the show because the splosers were out there. And I said, who's on the show tonight? And they said, the NCIS guys are on. And I went, the telephone guys? And I went, no, OK, I know what you're talking about. And I pulled up and as I was pulling away, the guy yelled, Drew asked the same thing. And I thought, that is horrible hosting. We have to ask this.

2:20 Drew I added one thing. I said, oh, Jenny McCarthy rescheduled for tonight? Is that what you guys are here?

2:24 Adam Yeah, go out there and see if they can tell who's on Wednesday, so it's not on the schedule. All right, so, but we're both here exceptionally early. I was at least, Drew.

2:36 Drew Yes, except in fact, you drove them behind me. I was like, what?

2:38 Guest So how long were they here then?

2:39 Adam Oh man, they gotta get there early for you guys.

2:42 Drew They gotta intercept. They gotta make sure you don't get slipping ahead of them.

2:45 Guest Yes, they were interceptionally early.

2:48 Drew They're there by 9.20.

2:50 Guest I always like to hit one of them, just clip one of them a little bit.

2:52 Drew They probably say thank you.

2:53 Guest Yeah, no, it's just you set the precedent, you set it early.

2:56 Guest Yeah, well done.

2:57 Guest And then everyone knows.

2:57 Guest He saw the photo on eBay.

2:59 Adam Yeah, he set the tone. I was talking to some folks today watching football over at Kimmel's house about the NCIS and the crime scene stuff. Yeah, it's two couple of shows that have sort of taken over half of waking programming on network. It's incredible.

3:18 Guest But ours is funny.

3:19 Adam Yeah, yeah, that other stuff isn't funny.

3:22 Guest But that's the difference.

3:23 Adam Yeah, and yours actually, do all the other ones air at nine or they air at eight?

3:29 Guest Oh, no. I don't know. We don't know when anyone airs except us. We're eight. We're eight, Tuesday nights.

3:34 Guest You know, everyone else, they're the Beatles and the Who and the Stones. Crap, we're the monkeys, man.

3:40 Adam And you know what?

3:40 Guest We're daydream believer. And we're taking that last train to Clarksville. We're having a good time doing it.

3:45 Adam I like the fact that you guys have cracked a couple of beers, too, because normally, we're not talking about lies, lies. Normally, that's reserved for the rock stars who come in here. And I like it. Don't get me wrong. I'm not judging at all.

3:56 Guest We don't play our instruments, Adam.

3:57 Drew Except these guys aren't going to go off with the rock stars, do they? They're not going to bomb on us, not going to throw ass at us.

4:03 Guest We're meeting Rodney at the Chateau Montlake.

4:07 Adam You guys seem like more than just co-workers. You seem, there's a chemistry between the two of you.

4:12 Guest You are such an observant man.

4:15 Adam Yeah. And all I'm saying is, is if you guys haven't discussed it, I can tell you that I'm very-

4:20 Guest I have to tell you, we've known that we're cousins for like our entire lives.

4:24 Guest We both have Alabama bloodlines.

4:26 Drew I'm recommending that you have a talk.

4:29 Adam I'm saying there's an energy in here. There's an energy between the two of you. See?

4:33 Guest Stop, stop, stop.

4:34 Adam No, there's something there. Did you notice it? It's all relative.

4:36 Drew They're making out in the hall. That's what I figured.

4:38 Adam Are you guys, are you dating?

4:39 You said that you would-

4:40 Adam Huh? Little something.

4:41 Guest Nothing. Drew didn't see anything.

4:43 Guest She likes boys named Michael.

4:44 Guest I know that.

4:45 Adam You can't expect people to work together for 16 hours in Montreal and not get it on eventually, all staying in the same condo complex.

4:54 Guest It depends on the people that you're working together in the same complex.

4:57 Drew Think about it. More than a condo complex. They're in a sensory deprivation tank, just the two of them, having intense emotional experiences.

5:03 Guest Interesting, because the other day, we were actually talking about the fact that-

5:06 Guest We were talking about Adam and Dr. Drew living in a sensory deprivation tank.

5:09 Guest That's actually not true. We were talking about the fact that the other day, really late, we were wondering if we were actually an experiment.

5:15 Guest Oh, that's true.

5:16 Guest If we were an experiment put together, and all of us in the little pod where we work all day long, we sit all the time together.

5:23 Guest We work in a pod.

5:24 Adam We work in a warehouse. Are you in New York? Are you in here? Valencia. Talk about layers.

5:33 Drew They don't want to go outside.

5:35 Guest See, they removed us and put us in our own little pod.

5:37 Drew Not that Valencia is a beautiful place, but it's hot as blazes.

5:41 Guest Sunny Valencia, as we call it.

5:44 Drew Hey, speaking of pods, let me get this iPod thing off my mind. Go, baby. Okay. Tonight and every night this week, we're giving away a brand new iPod Nano. Nano. Nano. Nano, which my kids will kill for.

5:53 Guest We're a big iPod fan.

5:54 Drew Well, these Nanos are crazy. You seen the Nanos?

5:57 Guest No, but we are both iPod obsessed.

5:59 Drew Okay, but these things are like a credit card, a thousand songs, 25,000 photos. All you have to do is listen to a nine-inch nail song only as our bumper music. It's the music that plays coming out of commercial into the show.

6:10 Adam Is the song called Only? Or Only Nine Inch Nails? What's it say there?

6:15 Drew It says, there it is.

6:16 Oh, that's it?

6:17 Guest Just read it, baby.

6:18 Drew Should everybody call? No, now is not the time to call. You call when you hear this as the bumper or lead in music out of commercial right into the show. And be the first person to get through and say, you got to say iPod Nano to the screener who picks up the phone and you win. You got to be 18 years or older and that's it.

6:32 Guest I would call but they took my cell phone away.

6:33 Guest You got to be 18 or older.

6:35 Guest Yeah.

6:36 Guest That means your boyfriend can't call.

6:38 Adam Oh, uh-oh. It's on now. Yeah. I popped the scab off that sexual wound.

6:46 Drew Yeah, and some white stuff.

6:47 Adam Their stuff comes. Oh, yeah.

6:49 Guest That's it. He thinks he's like 12, Michael Weatherly, that has been. Let's- Oh, oops.

6:55 Adam Speaking of white stuff pouring out, I had to give a little sperm sample this morning over at the lab.

7:00 Drew Did you go in kicking and screaming like last time?

7:02 Well- Why do I have to give my sperm sample?

7:04 Adam Well, first off-

7:06 Guest Are you pregnant?

7:06 Adam I know sperm. I'm trying. We're trying to become pregnant.

7:09 Drew Here's the hard part. Did they make you wait a week before you offered?

7:12 Adam No. Let me just give the ladies a little sperm etiquette. I try to keep the chatter down to a dull roar when I'm on the other side of the paper thin holocorridor trying to meet the maker.

7:27 Drew Produce.

7:28 Adam Yeah. And trying to produce. Let me just say this, Michael, I don't know if you're ever going to get into this situation. Maybe you already are. I thought to myself, thank Christ, I've taught myself to beat off in the standing up position. Because otherwise, I would be plowed on this sofa with this sampler cup, it's wedged in a fat roll, trying to catch something. It would be like a retarded person trying to get a butterfly. It would have been horrible. I thought, thank Christ. And that's about the only dignity you have is that you're still on your feet.

7:58 Drew Yeah.

7:59 Adam You're like a beaten fighter, but you never hit the canvas.

8:01 Drew You know, you can say you're still in line with some of your buddies.

8:04 Adam No, well, there are all the other guys you can't establish eye contact with that are in the waiting room. They got dragged in there, too.

8:09 Drew Oh, in my production, we had to wait in the line, stand in the line.

8:13 Guest This is wrong.

8:14 Drew This is wrong. And take what you've produced and hand it across the hall to the little Asian lady at the microscope.

8:20 Guest Okay. Now, Dr. Drew, here's a question for you. And maybe, Adam, you can help me with this just to understand. Maybe there's a way that you could have your special someone who's also maybe interested in the results of the sperm test.

8:33 Drew Yeah, but no one seems to do that.

8:34 Adam They do that.

8:35 Guest Well, why not?

9:06 Adam Well, I'm not a man, but I got to tell you, and let me tell you, let me tell you how bold I am. You know, you're filling out the receptacle cup with the sticker on it that says, you know, time of sperm sample. I open, let me tell you something, I open my phone, it's like 822 in the morning. I wrote 825 on there. I knew, make it under that wire. I was like Babe Ruth pointing at the bleachers. Come on, penis, don't fail me now. Because once, I'm writing this with pen, baby. I ain't going to scratch it out.

9:31 Drew Hell yeah.

9:32 Guest So how did it turn out? Do you have a good count there? Is that what you were looking for?

9:36 Adam Oh yeah, I was fine.

9:37 Drew Did you have to wait before you produced?

9:39 Adam There's a couple of, well there's a couple of beats that were tough. One is, is I left, I'm not used to ejaculating and being sober, tough.

9:48 Drew Was it a rape?

9:49 Adam The, sort of felt like, felt like a rape to myself.

9:52 Guest You raped a couple of things.

9:54 Adam First off, you know, the lady offers you the use of the magazines and the movies, but you know, you're too bold, you know, you have too much bravado for that. Ah, please, please. I don't need this. But as I said, it, well, I'll take a peek anyway. So you just see what they got in there. I know it's funny. After I finished, I opened it, just to take a curious peek and found something like, naturally busty Euro babes. And I was like, Oh man, I, damn, I would have, all right, we can't live in the past, but certainly could have made some use of it. I thought you'd have some lame crap that would be no use to me, but this reaction is pretty decent selection.

10:30 Guest So even when it's as important as that, it was still about the ego.

10:34 Drew Well, not ego, it's about the-

10:35 Guest Even when you're alone in a room, it's still about what the dudes in line are thinking about you.

10:39 Drew No, no, no, it's about his experience. It was a suboptimal experience for him.

10:43 Guest I think it's about the dudes in the waiting line.

10:44 Drew No, no, no, no, no, he's thinking like a woman now.

10:46 Adam It's only, I don't like chicks saying, do you want to use this to help you get along?

10:52 Drew He's saying he missed an opportunity to masturbate while looking at something that he would find particularly pleasing.

10:57 Adam Yes, I did. I could have turned it into lemonade. He thought it would have been lame.

10:59 Guest Which could have been celebrated for a good reason.

11:02 Guest No, no, no.

11:03 Drew There would only be lame magazines there, but there was stuff right in his wheelhouse.

11:06 Guest And there may have been a scientific advantage to having the good stuff.

11:09 Drew Might have produced a little more smart, more voluminous.

11:12 Guest There could have been that little chemical release.

11:14 Drew That's what I'm saying.

11:14 Adam Big picture, big picture. The other thing that was funny that movies were in there was like, as I was scrolling down, a pretty woman I noticed piled in there and I thought, all right, maybe there's some Christian guy who wants to come in here and be a hooker, Julia Roberts, and then Jerry McQuire. And I thought, all right, now this is, I'm drawing the line like, now there's a part of me that wants to hustle out in the nursing station and go, what else goes on in here? Is this also kids waiting room? Like what?

11:42 Guest Spongebob Squarepants.

11:43 Adam Yeah. Don't mix the Jerry McQuire with the porn. It's weird. The cabinet was, you're using a valuable porn room in here.

11:52 Guest Some Kenny Chesney videos.

11:54 Adam I had to, the other thing I had to do is, is pull the sample thing, you know, they tell you to put it and then you put it in the thing and then you put it in a sack and you give it to the, I had to pull the thing out and do more writing on it in front of the nurse, which is, just pleasant.

12:07 Drew Where's the vomit?

12:09 Adam But I just thought, Drew, you have two boys.

12:12 Drew Yeah.

12:12 Adam They're, you know, getting in, they're going to be getting into their teens.

12:15 Drew Yeah.

12:16 Adam You must teach those lads to beat off standing up.

12:18 Oh, don't worry.

12:20 Adam Don't get into one of those things where it's like, well, the only way they do it is if they wedge their joint between the box spring and the mattress and do a weird grind thing, because they will have places, workplaces, there will be situations where they need to take care of business and you just can't lay down on the floor when you're 30,000 feet in the sky.

12:39 Guest Yeah, that long flight to Berlin. No, you need, you know, you need to get some skills.

12:43 Guest But how do you do that, for real? Like, what do your dad say to his kid about something like that?

12:47 Adam You don't say anything, you work with him?

12:49 Guest Yes. No, that was, I remember, I remember my father talking to me.

12:52 Adam Yes.

12:52 Guest My father gave me a talk when I was about 13. He said, Junior, you may have some impulses that really, the natural impulses. We're out on the, I grew up in Connecticut. They're out, we're out on the porch. And he said, Darian, here's the thing, Junior.

13:08 Drew Stanford.

13:10 Guest You want to do that, but don't enjoy it.

13:14 Guest Oh, wow.

13:15 Guest That's interesting, because mine was, if you ever have any impulses, you're going to hell.

13:19 Guest Oh, wow. I got the Protestant work ethic.

13:22 Adam Today was the first time I didn't enjoy it, actually.

13:25 Drew Right, that's the point.

13:25 Adam Here's what, here's what I want you to say to your kids when we're going on the phone, Drew. You say to them, you must learn to sleep on your back and you must learn to beat off on your feet. Because-

13:35 Guest That's nice.

13:36 Adam Because let me tell you, that 12-hour flight is nothing. You're sleep, you're sawing logs, or you're beating yourself to a pulp inside a room the size of a broom closet.

13:45 Drew It's all good.

13:46 Adam Do you see what I'm saying?

13:46 Drew Yeah, all good.

13:47 Adam The world is your oyster if you can beat off on your feet.

13:51 Drew And sleep on your back.

13:52 Adam And sleep on your back, you're done.

13:53 Guest You had a lot to think about in that little room today.

13:55 Adam Oh, I went all the way through it. Brittany?

13:57 Drew Yeah.

13:58 Adam 18, what's up?

13:59 Hey.

14:00 Drew What's up?

14:01 My question is, okay, I just got out of a three-year relationship where my boyfriend treated me really bad. He liked to hit on me.

14:10 Adam Yeah, hold on a second. How do you do this sample when you're on your back?

14:16 Drew You don't.

14:16 Adam I mean, what do you do?

14:17 Drew Well, you kind of... You need the Zamboni.

14:21 Adam I mean, it's a second-hand sample.

14:23 Drew Yeah, probably.

14:24 Adam That's a crime scene. You're just getting DNA off the guy's belly.

14:29 Guest If it's a crime scene, we're there for you, man.

14:30 Guest We're bad tag, we'll rope it off.

14:32 Guest And we'll make you laugh at the same time.

14:34 Adam Yeah, there's gonna be hairs and stuff mixed in, in the lint, I mean dog hair, it's a bad scene. I was just thinking, I said, thank Christ, I work on my feet, yeah. Brittany's-

14:43 Drew And by the way, you doing your vitro or what's happening?

14:45 Adam I don't know.

14:45 Drew Oh, for God's sakes.

14:46 Adam I don't listen to anything. I just know the beat off part.

14:48 Drew Oh, my God, you're gonna hate her.

14:49 Adam That's all. Brittany?

14:51 Yeah.

14:51 Adam What's up?

14:52 Okay.

14:54 Adam Oh, your boyfriend hits you?

14:55 Guest Hits on her, as she said, but is that like a beat off?

14:58 Adam He beats on you.

14:59 Yeah. I dated him for three years and I finally kicked him out.

15:03 Drew How old was he?

15:05 It's been about a month and a half.

15:06 Drew How old was he?

15:07 He was 21.

15:10 Drew So he was dating you when he was 18 and you were 15?

15:13 Yeah.

15:14 Drew All right.

15:14 Guest Hold on.

15:14 Drew Get that music up. Thank you. Hold on.

15:16 Guest I've heard enough.

15:17 Adam I've heard enough, Drew. I know I've been wrong almost every time I've made this allegation, but this time I know it my heart of hearts. A man knows when he's right. Brittany, North Carolina, 18, dating at 15, a physically abusive boyfriend.

15:31 Drew Heavy accent.

15:33 Adam Jew. Am I right, Brittany?

15:35 Guest You're Jewish?

15:36 No. Oh my music.

15:38 Guest God.

15:41 Guest I can't believe it.

15:43 Guest I'm over 30 on this one.

15:46 Adam I'm sorry, Brittany. So what do you want to do with this guy?

15:50 Okay. Well, I kicked him out. Good.

15:53 Drew How long did he beat on you before you kicked him out?

15:59 Adam Alright, please, come on Anderson. This is sad.

16:02 Guest But kicked him out of where?

16:04 Out of my house.

16:05 Guest Wait, you're 15?

16:07 Drew Mom's house. This is the way it's done today.

16:09 Adam Mom's house?

16:09 When I turned 15, I moved in with him.

16:12 Guest Oh boy. Nice idea. Oh boy.

16:14 Drew This is bad. What were you running away? You must have had a horribly abusive environment at home too, to run away from that. Oh yes, Brittany, please. Yeah, you got 50 year olds that do that are running away. So you ran away from one abusive environment into another. What are we going to do today?

16:32 Okay. So now I'm at this other boy and I've only been broke up for a month and a half.

16:38 Drew Do you really like this other boy?

16:40 Yeah.

16:40 Drew Don't do it. Then forget it. Then forget it. If you're really into him, it's going to be another abuser. Guarantee it.

16:46 But see, he's older. He's 29.

16:51 Adam All right. What's he do?

16:53 Drew Welder.

16:54 Adam Something around metal? Just, you know...

17:00 Drew We just selected that way.

17:02 Adam What does he do? Is he weld?

17:04 Yeah.

17:06 Oh.

17:07 Adam So bad. So bad. Welders are the worst. One day I'm going to make a laminate so you ladies can put it in your pocketbook and check it. Welder, bottom of the list, then it's roofer, then it's drywaller. We still even got up to pedophile.

17:21 Drew Just so you know what we see. We have none of that information.

17:24 Adam There's no weld.

17:25 Guest There's nothing such as welding.

17:26 Guest We just know the syndrome. This is like going and watching some sort of psychic.

17:31 Drew It's Carnac. I know it's Carnac. It's where we freak ourselves out.

17:35 Guest Brittany, I'm Mrs. Michael talking to you and I am completely freaked out because these guys are magicians. How did they know welder?

17:41 Drew Because we've talked to a billion Brittany's.

17:45 Guest Now Brittany, now Brittany, now so listen, if these guys actually have sussed out through the context of very few little pieces of information, what the deal is, I have a feeling that you should listen to what they say.

18:00 Drew So here we go. Brittany, if you're attracted to the guy, he's going to be an abuser. So what you have to do is either A, get some treatment for that, or B, learn to live with relationships that are not quite so dramatic and exciting because every one of those you go for is going to be a disaster.

18:15 Adam It does say here this guy has kids.

18:18 Yeah.

18:19 Drew Wonderful. So much the better.

18:22 Adam Yeah. Why at 18 do you want to take your backpack with that much sand?

18:28 Well, see, when I'm not with the 29-year-old, all I do is cry and everything about.

18:34 Adam Right. Brittany, let me give you a quick inspirational thing that you're not going to do and then we're going to move on and forget about it. But it is an opportunity. This is a cross. You're 18. You're not 38. You're 18. Most girls would be graduating from high school about now and thinking about their future. You don't have to get married. You don't have to be a mother to some kids.

18:56 Drew You don't have to have a man.

18:58 Adam You don't even have to have a man. As a matter of fact, the best thing you could do right now is to be single, sort out a few thoughts, not get pregnant, not get a venereal disease and start focusing on your future.

19:09 Drew And if you have a problem when you're without the guy, get that taken care of. Don't treat it by taking on another abusive a-hole.

19:14 Guest And here's something, girls, that isn't said enough. If you're with anyone who abuses you ever verbally or physically, leave, done, goodbye.

19:22 Drew Well, she did, finally. She did.

19:24 Guest Well, finally, exactly.

19:25 Drew But the problem with the problem, what do you realize? The reality of that is the problem is they'll find another one. They'll go from one to the next.

19:30 Guest That is true.

19:30 I don't understand what took so long. I really don't.

19:33 Guest We never do.

19:34 Adam Well, here's the...

19:36 Caller Because the app is so quick.

19:38 Adam Yeah.

19:38 Drew Part of our car network here. We read the guest, too.

19:41 Adam Here's the thing. So, Brittany, please. I mean, here's... We're making fun of you because of the whole white trash angle of this. But why don't you prove us wrong? I know it's amusing to you. And here's what it is. If you got a booger hanging out of your nose and everyone is pointing at it, why don't you go ahead and clear it out instead of laughing and everyone is laughing at you? You sound like you're on a collision course with a rope belt banjo and a house that has wheels on it that's going to be flooded or blown away.

20:11 Drew That'll be quaint.

20:13 Adam That would be quaint.

20:13 Drew I would wish that for her.

20:14 Adam Yes, that's Ellie May. This is different. This is meth and tons of illegitimate kids. This is the new Ellie May.

20:19 Guest Do you think there's anything Italian neorealism is going to do for her? Like some Antonioni or Fellini? Is there a video store that can straighten her out?

20:30 Drew See, our solutions are far too concrete for that kind of person.

20:33 Adam All right, so listen, Brittany, what do you want to do? What do you want to do?

20:38 Caller I don't know. The 29-year-old, he's really young.

20:41 Adam I don't care about guys. What do you want to do?

20:42 Drew With your life.

20:45 Adam The other thing you need to do is not wrap your worth and your personality around men or how desirable or undesirable you are around men. What does Brittany want to do?

20:57 Caller I just want to have a good life, be happy.

21:00 Drew Doing what? Why don't you decide what that is for you? Not by virtue of caving, fusing with another person, blending your life into somebody else, who by the way will be an abuser.

21:14 Adam Why don't you decide what you want to do and think about some goals and try to achieve them?

21:19 Caller Right now, I am going to school to be a registered nurse.

21:22 Adam There we go. That's it.

21:24 Drew Stay focused. Get through your training. The stuff will look a little different to you eventually. Become a psych nurse and you get some insight in all this stuff.

21:30 Guest Really?

21:32 Adam Psych nurse? What do they do?

21:33 Guest They hand out the sperm samples at them.

21:35 Really?

21:36 Guest And study themselves.

21:38 Adam I just seem restraining people all day long.

21:41 Drew Yeah, there's that. My nurses in the chemical dependency unit are extremely talented.

21:48 Adam Really?

21:48 Drew They have a great understanding of people and how this stuff works. They would be...

21:53 Adam Let me translate, extremely talented, perform great fellatio on Drew.

21:57 Drew No.

21:57 Adam Exquisite. Oh, they're bad at it?

21:59 Drew No.

22:00 Adam When they bite? Use their teeth?

22:01 Drew No.

22:02 Adam Well, then what's wrong with their fellatio? Look, let's just keep moving. I'm having fun to talk about their fellatio. Well, Drew, you can't be offended because I don't know what fellatio means.

22:11 Guest Brian? I think it's Italian.

22:13 Guest I think it's some sort of scone.

22:15 Drew Yeah.

22:16 Adam Yeah, you get fellatio with raisins.

22:17 Guest Exactly.

22:18 Drew Brian.

22:19 Adam Brian? 16, go ahead.

22:21 Hey, all right. I have been crushing painkillers and sorting them.

22:29 Drew What, like box of cotton or something? What are you taking? Percocet?

22:32 Caller Percocet, hydrocodene, codeine, valium.

22:35 Drew All right. Well, valium is not just a painkiller. Valium is a benzodiazepine. So now you're an opiate addict. You're a heroin addict basically. So what do you want to do about it? What do you want to do?

22:45 Caller Um, I don't know that serious.

22:48 You're a heroin addict.

22:49 Adam Why snort?

22:49 Drew It's a little faster. Well, maybe a little bit more of a peak.

22:54 Adam Or is it in and out of you a little bit faster?

22:56 Drew Just in you a little faster. Maybe, it depends what the drug is. But of course, you know, it's acetaminophen, this Tylenol complex.

23:02 Adam When you crush them, though, you lose a little of it. It gets stuck on whatever you're crushing it with.

23:06 Drew The Tylenol doesn't do much of anything, does it?

23:08 Adam Yeah.

23:08 Guest I think there's something about absorption in the blood vessels, in the nose, that it goes instantaneously into the blood system.

23:13 Drew This isn't pure opiate. He's got opiate with Tylenol in the crush he's making. Anyway, the issue is not the snorting. The issue is the opiate addiction. What do you want to do about it? And the benzos, which will give you a nice seizure if you stop using them suddenly.

23:30 Caller I don't know, because I smoke a lot of cigarettes as well and I run it off with all that stuff together.

23:37 Drew Well, the opiates and the benzos are something that should be done in a hospital. I've really rarely seen it successfully done as an outpatient and certainly not in terms of keeping you off it. So if you're in Maryland, there's lots of people out there who treat addiction, take advantage of that. But the combo of the benzodiazepine and the opiate is going to be a very difficult detox.

23:55 Adam Well, here's the good news, Brian. You're 16. You know, we talk to people that are in their 30s and lost everything. You got nothing to lose. You got like a Cheryl Teague's poster and a peachy folder. And whatever you have at 16, you got like an Xbox to lose.

24:11 Drew There's a point here, too, that the withdrawal is usually much milder under the age of 18. In fact, that's one of the problems. People start believing they can take the start and stop when they wish.

24:19 Adam So, Brian, here's your opportunity. You may not get it again.

24:23 Drew All right. All right.

24:25 Adam All right.

24:25 Drew Enjoy. Whatever.

24:28 Adam Yeah, people are like sponges absorbing our pearls of wisdom.

24:31 Drew Oh, yeah.

24:32 Adam Okay.

24:33 Drew Yeah, sure. Whatever.

24:35 Adam Yeah. I like when I start laughing. I'm like, give an inspirational speech to me, Drew.

24:39 Drew This is your chance, Adam. You can get off opiates, get in the hospital. Those benzos are gonna give you a seizure. I'm just kidding.

24:47 Yeah.

24:49 Adam That's some good stuff. You're doing one of them comedy albums. You're regular Richard Pryor, MD Pryor. That's some funny ass ass.

24:59 Drew Have a seizure. It's fine. That's right. You can have a seizure about six, seven days out.

25:04 Adam I'm gonna have a seizure if you keep me laughing. This is hard, doc.

25:06 Guest This is good stuff.

25:07 Guest What was the question there?

25:09 Adam I don't know. He was-

25:10 Guest Hey, guess what? I'm on drugs.

25:12 Drew Well, he wants to know if the snorting is gonna cause trouble.

25:14 Guest Yeah, it all causes trouble. There's the answer to all of it, yes.

25:17 Adam People really don't realize to how long this can, how long you can, well, you'll never, you're never gonna win the battle with drugs. I mean, I hate to sound trite and corny. It'll eventually get ya, but you don't want it to wait till you're in your 40s and then look back and have no life from, you know, 15 to 45.

25:37 Drew The other-

25:38 Adam Just nip it at 17 or 16 and move on.

25:40 Drew The other unfortunate thing that, the more we learn about drugs of abuse and addiction, the more we see the persistent changes in the brain. People don't appreciate, and I don't mean brain damage.

25:50 Adam I mean-

25:53 Drew I mean that-

25:54 Adam No, that's no more, Drew. Come on, man, I should've hurt my side, man.

25:58 Drew Now we gotta go to break.

25:59 Adam What else, Drew? Seriously, what else does it do?

26:01 Drew I can't, because I need it to be-

26:02 What else would it do?

26:03 Adam Go ahead, what does it do to your brain?

26:07 It does bad things.

26:08 Drew It changes the motivation system.

26:11 Guest Something about an egg?

26:12 Drew Permanently, permanently.

26:17 Adam That is great stuff.

26:19 Caller Are you writing this down?

26:21 Adam You're gonna forget this. You better write this down. All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

26:34 Guest Loveline's phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew, we'll be right back.

26:41 Adam Ready for something new? Try Durex tingling condoms. There's sex, and then there's Durex.

26:49 Guest Hey everybody, it's Loveline.

26:50 Adam I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Michael Weatherly here tonight. Pauley Perrette here tonight. NCIS airs Tuesday nights, 8 o'clock on CBS.

27:00 Drew Don't forget to listen to that 90s nail song. Give away a free iPod Nano for the person who calls in, says iPod Nano. And I guarantee it won't be early in the show.

27:08 Guest You know what I mean?

27:09 Drew That's the song.

27:10 Guest And that's it. Don't call him out.

27:12 Drew It's going to be in the last hour, I'm sure. We want people to keep listening.

27:15 Adam All right. Let's keep on keeping on and talk to Eric, who told his girlfriend she's cervical cancer due to STDs.

27:26 Guest Oh boy.

27:26 Possibly alcoholic.

27:28 Adam Drew knows you love reading. What? Can't trust guys in relationships. Let's talk to six and then we'll get back to Eric.

27:36 Guest Sarah?

27:37 Yeah.

27:37 Adam You're 22?

27:39 Caller Yes, sir.

27:40 Adam Are you good looking?

27:42 Caller Um, I would, I pull my weight.

27:45 Drew Just pulls her weight.

27:46 Adam That could be bad.

27:48 Drew It could be like a...

27:48 Adam A dump truck pulls its weight.

27:52 Caller Okay, like, if I'm good looking, but I don't want to sound cocky or anything.

27:55 Adam All right, all right.

27:57 Drew Fair enough.

27:57 Adam You know what, but just go ahead and say it. If you're good looking, you're good looking. Like, I know I'm hot. And, you know, I don't have any problems with talking about it. It's part of who I am.

28:06 Guest You sound like Michael. Oh, that's kind of nice.

28:10 Adam Well, no, no, I mean, Michael knows I'm hot. You know, Michael says I'm hot all the time. That's what I'm saying.

28:15 Guest Michael, enough. Something else, something else.

28:18 Adam Go ahead, Sarah. Yeah. Go ahead, Sarah.

28:24 Caller OK, well, I guess before you guys could guess my background and everything, I'll just go ahead and lay it all out.

28:29 Drew Thank you.

28:30 Caller OK, well, I'm 22 and I was molested by my cousin when I was younger, like when I was like eight or nine or something. And my mom passed away when I was like six. And I have a really good relationship with my dad.

28:46 Adam Your mom lost.

28:47 Drew Passed away.

28:47 Adam Oh, passed away when you were six.

28:49 All right.

28:51 Adam All right.

28:51 Caller And I like the night behind in high school, got a scholarship to move out because me and my dad's ex-wife, his second wife didn't get along. When I went to college, I got into like really harsh drugs. And two years ago, I became drug free because I was at an underground party and I was rolling and I ended up getting raped. And then it's like I don't really remember that much of it. So it's like too traumatizing. Of course, it was bad because, you know, all right. And and and since then, like my dating habits kind of changed.

29:25 Drew I was dating habits.

29:27 Adam Yeah. Since since being raped or since getting off drugs.

29:31 Caller All right.

29:35 Drew Are you in the program or are you just abstinent right now?

29:38 Caller No, I totally just like one cold turkey and just stopped everything after that happens. I guess it was kind of a double edged sword. I was like the best thing and the worst thing that happened to me.

29:46 Drew Because when you don't when you don't get involved, when you don't get involved in some sort of recovery program, it can be a very unpleasant road.

29:55 Caller I'm fine with that, like honestly, like I went to therapy twice and like, well, you're cured then.

30:03 Drew Yeah, cure twice.

30:04 Adam I don't know why. Twice is once too many.

30:07 Caller You go once you're cured. I couldn't stay with it. Like as soon as there's some sort of progress being made, I felt instead of progressing, I was just like, you're becoming more sad.

30:18 Adam Hot chicks are endless. They don't listen and they can talk their asses off. Sarah.

30:25 Caller Yes.

30:25 Adam You want to yell their name. Here's the deal. The rape incident probably didn't help what you thought about men, but I would say your childhood probably had more to do with that than being raped as an adult because the cement was sort of drying your brain already, although it can definitely have an adverse effect on you. I wouldn't pin everything on this event that you don't remember that happened when you were an adult.

30:49 Drew Right. It can cause a sort of PTSD reaction.

30:52 Adam Right. I would go back and examine the traumatic childhood you had and focus on that more than the rape incident that happened later on.

31:00 Drew You basically have two choices. You can keep going to therapy as painful as it is. If these were easy things to do, you do them automatically on your own, but they're very painful and the fact that it is uncomfortable means you are working, which is a positive thing, or you can go to a 12-step program, get a sponsor, begin working steps, and maybe sort of find a more acceptable...

31:20 A 12-step program program for drugs?

31:22 Drew Yes, you're a drug addict.

31:23 Caller Even though I've been set up for...

31:25 Drew Let me...

31:26 Adam Look, there's people in there who've had one hit off a joint in 1961, and they've been in there for 45 years.

31:33 Drew Well, beside that, the fact, though, is with her...

31:35 Adam You don't have to be a drug addict.

31:36 Drew That you do, but the fact is that, Sarah, if you don't replace your drugs and alcohol with some process, anxiety and depression becomes overwhelming. So you have a choice.

31:46 Adam Yeah.

31:47 Guest Being raped... Doing drugs is not...

31:50 Drew She doesn't remember the rape, though. She doesn't recall it.

31:52 Guest But a lot of times, people will blame themselves. Like, if I wasn't doing drugs, I wouldn't have been raped. That is not your fault. Rape is a crime. That was committed by a criminal. That is not your fault. Drugs is one problem. It's not a sexual crime.

32:06 Drew Not sexual.

32:07 Guest It's not. That is something that you have to...

32:09 Caller You have two big issues at home.

32:10 Guest That's two big issues. One is drug addiction and one is rape. But the rape... I've often been able to make that connection. But if I wasn't on drugs, I wouldn't have been raped.

32:18 Drew The reason she was raped is because she was sexually... People have been sexually abused, become perfect victims. And we see a rape in adolescents. We know that there'll be a rape later on.

32:28 Guest Guilty of drug abuse, not guilty of causing a rape.

32:30 Drew The rape can... Of course not. The rape can trigger a post-traumatic stress reaction, another thing. But this is a bigger picture of trauma and addiction, and that's what will be treated.

32:39 Adam Let's talk to Eric, who's 28.

32:42 Guest Eric?

32:43 Yeah, hi.

32:44 Adam What's happening?

32:45 What's happening? How is everyone, by the way?

32:48 Adam Good, what's up?

32:49 Drew Okay. You just checking in on us?

32:52 Yeah.

32:53 No, no. No, I was just wondering...

32:56 Adam Drew, is there... You know, the problem with this show is you can't make small talk with us. And I take it out of the studios, my prom's like, I'll be at some dinner party and someone will go, how are you doing? Good.

33:08 Drew Anyway.

33:09 Adam How are you? You're doing all right? Yeah. What is it? Let's get going. Let's get to it. Make some small talk. We're waiting at the bar here. Okay. Let's go. You have a question? No? Oh, well then why are you talking to me? Let's go now.

33:23 Were you raped?

33:24 Adam What happened? Yeah, you can't make any small talk anymore. You don't realize how much of a conversation is just this sort of, you know, fluff that's in between.

33:36 Guest And it was just your waiter.

33:38 Adam Yeah. How's it going? Yeah, let's go. Let's keep it going now. Yeah. I know. I know. That's my new move. Actually, when I go out to eat, I order everything in one big lump. I don't like that part where you order the wine and then they come back 25 minutes later. My feeling is, if you got them. You know what the worst move is? The worst move is when the person you're sitting with tells them you need a minute. My wife and I, this happened a few months back. It was that thing where it's like, yeah, I'm ready to order. Could you give us a minute? The person turned up. No, that ain't a minute, sweetie. That's 39 minutes. That means we're now officially off the radar. We ain't in line anymore. You understand? We're just in our car. We're out.

34:21 Guest You weren't ready to land the aircraft. Now we're up by Santa Barbara.

34:24 Drew Go back. Go back in line.

34:25 Adam But here's the thing. We ain't even in a holding pattern about the airport. We're just going back to whence we came.

34:31 Drew Go back to Palmdale and go back around.

34:32 Adam Not on the radar. When you tell somebody, when you tell that waiter or waitress, we need a minute, then you're screwed. Now, here's what we can do. I can order slowly and you can get your ass together. By the way, linguine and clams every time. Anyways, really? You ever have to look at the menu? Order that, that's when I went through the roof. But the waitress comically passed us 33 times and I would get angrier each time. And I couldn't have a conversation anymore until the person she'd banished from our table came back into the kingdom.

35:01 Drew Speaking of anger, am I the only one here just dying?

35:04 Adam It is hot.

35:04 Drew I can't breathe in here.

35:05 Adam It's exquisitely hot in here. I cannot breathe. Yes, I'm wearing.

35:08 Guest It went down one degree.

35:09 Drew I'm wearing gym shorts. But it shuts off when it goes. Somebody reset the damn thing. I cannot breathe in here.

35:15 Guest What happened to the dial?

35:17 Drew I don't know, but this is so unacceptable. I can't even tell you. I don't get upset. This kills me.

35:23 Adam I don't get upset about the thermostat. Let me just tell a lovely story. The last time they locked the thermostat on us, it was in the other studio and it was in the other room. And they had one of those stupid glass fish bowls around the thing. And I was frying in the studio and I came walking around and I said, what's up? Will you lower the thermostat? And they're like, no, we locked it. We can't get to the thing. And I said, oh, you can't get it open? I can get it open. And I jumped up on the console and I kicked it off the wall. The thing went flying and shattered. And then I lowered it. And then I got home that night, realized I had to do Howard Stern at 4 a.m. And I needed my Zephyr hooked up with the ISDN or whatever it was. And I had to call the station and talk to an engineer. And I was like, hey, man, I'm really in a bind over here. Do you think you could get the ISDN hooked up? And he's like, how's that thermostat doing, brother?

36:18 Drew Like so that now.

36:18 Adam Yeah, I'm working on the thermostat. So the moral of the story is, do not physically attack equipment where you work and then expect the folks that have to fix what you attack to come by your house and work on your stuff. That was, that's the moral of that story. But you want me to kick this, Drew?

36:35 Drew I will kick it. I want, I want something done. Eric? Hello?

36:40 Adam Sorry.

36:40 Drew By the only studio in this whole building that's 88 degrees.

36:43 Adam It is hot in here.

36:45 Drew The rest of them are 68.

36:46 Adam Go, Eric.

36:47 I had a question for Dr. Drew.

36:48 Drew Yeah, Eric.

36:49 Can cervical cancer, can that form from an STD?

36:54 Drew Yes, it's caused by cervical warts, by genital warts, human papillomavirus. That's what causes it. And perhaps the herpes may have a role to play, too.

37:01 Adam And anything else?

37:02 Drew No, that's what caused it.

37:03 I was wondering, okay, if they can find the corrupted cells.

37:06 Adam You can't get cervical cancer unless it was in the, you were exposed to warts.

37:10 Drew That's what they're thinking now, yeah.

37:11 Adam Really? They didn't think that.

37:12 I know.

37:12 Adam On the spot in time.

37:13 Guest That's new info from Dr. Drew.

37:15 Drew Yeah, they're really thinking it's causative. And so, by the way, that's why they're advocating circumcision, because men are less likely to get the warts and transmit the warts. In fact, I'm holding here a new article about AIDS. Here's an AIDS expert that advocated male circumcision as the best available vaccine against the virus in Africa.

37:31 Adam Yeah, really?

37:32 Drew Yeah, I am circumcised. It decreases the probability of these things getting into your system as a male, and thereby you transmit it to the female. And certain subsets of the virus...

37:40 Adam Well, it's sort of the difference between a... I guess a, let's just say, a smooth ball when it hits the dirt, would not gather as much dirt as one that was textured or it had flaps on it or something like this.

37:57 Drew Flaps to hold it there.

37:58 Adam Would hold it there. So, I mean, the foreskin actually captures and hangs on to whatever the virus or whatever is going on and then transmits it to the female.

38:07 Drew Well, now it increases the probability that the male is going to get the actual infection and then he gives it to the female.

38:12 Adam Well, someone will just give this heads up to the good folks over there in Africa and they'll hop right on that. That's the way it works over there. We just give them a little heads up. Hey, folks, needs you to put some condoms on. Pow, done, done and done. You don't have to say it twice, done. And that's why there's no problems in that part of the world.

38:30 Drew It's all taken care of.

38:30 Adam It's all taken care of. You give one quick heads up, you don't have to say it twice. Snap it at you.

38:35 Drew Snap and condom, there you go.

38:36 Adam Yeah, there you go.

38:38 Drew Yeah, but there's certain subsets of the wart virus tends to be the one that persists through time that is most at risk for the cervical cancer. And if your girlfriend you're having sex with or you've got the wart virus and you should consider yourself infectious too.

38:49 Adam Yeah.

38:50 Drew Okay.

38:50 Guest You know, unless you want to think about abstinence, Eric, which is always a bit...

38:54 Okay, I have one more question.

38:56 Drew One second, by the way, I just, I'm participating in this Trojan sort of...

39:00 Guest Is that a USC thing?

39:01 Drew No, it's Trojan Condom Research.

39:03 Adam Although he is an alum.

39:04 Drew Yeah, but I watch UCLA Games. Yeah, of course.

39:08 Adam P WIPO.

39:09 Drew But I've just recently done literature research on condom effectiveness and it is overwhelming how effective condoms are. There's all this BS about condoms being, yes, oh, maybe, maybe not. Oh, my God. When you really look at the literature and you go over the last like three years of medical literature, it's overwhelming.

39:25 Guest That's fantastic because it shouldn't be only the female's responsibility. That is fantastic. Condoms should be celebrated everywhere by all people at all times.

39:34 Adam Yeah.

39:34 Guest Even on Sunday.

39:35 Adam Yeah. Well, it'd be nice if the folks in some of the parts of the world would hop on the kind of bandwagon and start using those things.

39:42 Guest In DC. Yeah, right. Right.

39:44 Drew That's right.

39:44 Adam It would be nice to get them into it too. But yeah, wherever we drop them off, they should just put them on. They don't put them on immediately. Yeah. Don't wait for sex.

39:53 Drew Let's take a break. I want to take one. Put one on right now.

39:55 Adam Oh, you don't have yours on?

39:56 Drew No, no.

39:58 Adam I got mine on. I got mine on. You want to buddy up? You want to get in mine?

40:01 Drew No.

40:02 Adam Two guys in a sleeping bag?

40:03 Drew I'd like my own. I would.

40:04 Adam Okay.

40:05 Guest You ready to need to buddy up?

40:06 Guest I don't have mine.

40:08 Adam You want to buddy breathe?

40:08 Guest We're going to talk about the magnum too because I'm a little confused about the magnum.

40:12 Drew Magnums are just a little bit bigger at the tip, but the actual bigger condoms are called magnum XLs.

40:18 Guest XL?

40:19 Drew Magnum XLs. The magnum is just kind of a cool brand.

40:21 Guest We'll never need those.

40:23 Guest That's all right.

40:23 Drew Well, you and Adam. Anyway, here we go.

40:25 Adam Well, if we start doubling, start buddying up.

40:27 Guest No, I just saw them the other day in Mark Harmon's trailer and I didn't know what to do.

40:31 Adam Oh, he's got a gay buddy who's hung. I didn't know he was gay. You know you don't see in movies so much anymore where they do that thing where they're underwater and they got the scuba tank, but I only got one scuba tank and yours is out of air and we got to do that buddy breathing thing. Yeah, it used to be about every third movie. Someone was doubling up on the breathing.

40:51 Drew That's because of the movie.

40:52 Adam Breathe, breathe. OK, now it's my turn.

40:54 Drew Maybe see Ellie jumped down underwater and I like the buddy.

40:56 Adam I like the buddy breathing.

40:57 Guest I think you can get the hep C from that.

40:59 Adam That's probably what is dangerous.

41:01 Guest Nobody wants to work with that actress.

41:04 Adam Yeah, we'd be underwater and you'd want to buddy up with me. I'll be pointing at a canker sore in your left. Sorry, sorry, my friend. Saltwater's not going to make a dent in that. Sorry, you'll die. I know your foot's trapped in the wreckage, but I'm sorry. Well, I'll get a dental dam and come down if you're still here. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

41:23 Guest Hello, this is your radio. Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline.

41:55 Adam Paul, Paulie, here's the deal. You got to get him before the show starts.

41:59 Guest She's got the rockstar thing.

42:01 Adam Paulie Perret is here tonight, Michael Weatherly.

42:04 Drew I'm sorry, Paulie's got to think about her bladder.

42:06 Guest Paulie Perret, that's what you get.

42:10 Guest Yeah, he writes me songs with my name in them, everything that rhymes with Perret, which isn't easy. You have like Beret and Get. And then my line more.

42:16 Adam Pet, Pet.

42:17 Guest I'll give you a little bladder tip.

42:19 Adam If you don't chug beers, you'll not urinate.

42:23 Guest Henry Miller said, it's a sign of genius.

42:26 Drew Chugging beers, that's what you said.

42:28 Adam I don't know that name. NCIS, which airs-

42:31 Guest He works down the block at the deli. He's very cool.

42:33 Adam Tuesday night, it's eight o'clock on CBS. Big premiere last week, and second episode coming up this Tuesday. Yes, Drew, who do you want to talk to?

42:43 Drew Quick one, one of those two you picked.

42:45 Adam All right, let's go with-

42:48 Guest Jessica's been on hold for 73 minutes.

42:50 Oh, jeez, she's calling in already.

42:52 Adam Jessica, you're 20?

42:55 Caller I'm 20, yes.

42:56 Adam What's up?

42:57 Caller Well, Dr. Drew said once a while back that he really enjoyed reading. And the thing is, I wrote a book.

43:04 Adam That's where we parted ways.

43:05 Drew I know, Adam hates that. Hates that about him.

43:06 Adam I didn't find that out.

43:08 Drew I know. He would never have sat for all these years had he known that.

43:10 Adam Well, you know, once in a while, you find out some guy you like, and you see him, you learn that he smacked his wife, or you find out he's a racist, or you find out he's a communist, and you're like, we can't hang anymore. When I found out Drew was in the reading, it was worse, actually.

43:26 Drew So anyway.

43:27 Adam You wrote a book, Jessica?

43:29 Caller Yes, I did. And I was hoping I could tell Drew about it, and if he's interested, I could send him a free copy.

43:34 Adam This is gonna be huge. What's it called?

43:37 Caller It's called Exodus.

43:39 Adam Uh-huh, and what's it about?

43:41 Caller Well, it's about, it's kind of about the Holocaust only if it happened here and now, like it took place in present day and in our country.

43:49 Adam Oh, he doesn't like reading fiction. He likes, he likes good text, you know, stuff he can really learn from.

43:56 Caller Oh, but maybe it would make him a better person to broaden his horizons. I mean, everyone could use more culture, right?

44:03 Adam Yeah. I talked to Drew during the break and he said F horizons. He's tired of his horizons being broadened.

44:10 Drew We'll take a look at it.

44:11 Adam I'd like to start reigning in my horizons. I'm tired of broadening them. Let's start, let's start focusing our horizons, everybody.

44:17 Drew Good idea.

44:18 Adam How long can you broaden your horizon? It's a, you really should start focusing and narrowing it down. Finding what your horizon is best at instead of just being a jack of all horizons and a master of no horizons.

44:30 Guest I hate it when the sun comes up. Hate.

44:33 Adam You hate, yeah, the sun?

44:34 Guest Horizons, yes.

44:34 Adam Yeah. Yeah, even, even, even the sun coming up in general is bad.

44:39 Guest Bad, bad, very bad. Horizons is overrated.

44:42 Adam I would be fine if the sun came up about 12 hours later than whenever, 4 p.m., 5 p.m., 6 p.m., yeah. Makes sense.

44:50 Guest Totally.

44:51 Adam Makes sense. Be a better, better society. Eventually we'd all turn into weird druid creatures, like an Omega Man. Our eyes would go white. We'd all get all pink. Don't judge, don't judge. Yeah, it'd be awesome.

45:03 Guest Isn't that how it is in Iceland though?

45:06 Adam Yeah.

45:06 Guest That's, that's, that's what happens there.

45:08 Adam Scott?

45:09 Yes?

45:09 Adam You're 22?

45:11 Caller Yes.

45:11 Adam What's up?

45:13 Caller Question for Dr. Drew. Now, I, both of my grandparents, on both my parents' side, like my grandfather, my grandmother, my mom's side, and my grandfather, and my grandmother, and my mom's side, are, they were heavy alcoholics, but my real father, he doesn't drink, and my mother doesn't drink either. And I just want to know what the probability of me being an alcoholic is.

45:39 Drew Do you feel like you've got momentum with alcohol?

45:42 Caller Somewhat, I mean, like, I know that it can eventually become a problem. It's starting to snowball a little bit.

45:49 Drew Well, here's the deal. So you've got the gene, whatever the probability, it's 100% because you're describing that tendency. And one of your parents has the gene but never expressed the disease because they saw how it devastated their own parents. So they restricted their relationship with alcohol. And you can still have the genetic potential. Just because you have the potential doesn't mean you're going to have the disease. In your case, you haven't lived around the devastation from the disease. You have the gene. It sounds like you started a relationship with alcohol. It picks up momentum and off you go.

46:16 Adam Let's call from Wisconsin. So you almost have to drink.

46:19 Are you Irish?

46:20 Caller No, I'm not. I'm actually French.

46:24 Guest I think you're going to be alright then.

46:26 Drew French is very rare. XO Wine. Is there something else in your mind?

46:31 Adam It's funny though. They put wine in their cereal and kids are drinking when they're nine.

46:38 Drew They killed off all the alcoholics.

46:40 Adam In the Revolution?

46:41 Drew No, because they exposed them to so much alcohol culturally, they all died of alcoholism.

46:46 Adam Oh, really?

46:46 Drew And the people left behind can tolerate the alcohol.

46:49 Adam That's what I'm shooting for.

46:50 Drew They have one of the highest incidences of cirrhosis with the lowest incidence of alcoholism.

46:54 What about heart disease?

46:56 Adam So you mean you start drinking at 11.

46:59 Drew And you don't get disease, no alcoholism, but you can have consequences from the use and when you find out the consequences, you stop using.

47:05 Pau, stop.

47:07 Adam All right, let's take a little break. We'll be right back after this.

47:11 Guest Alright, guys, here's the deal.

47:13 Guest You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

47:16 Guest One call is all you need to make.

47:18 Call the Dateline.

47:19 Drew 877-889-DATE.

47:21 Guest We'll call the Dateline.

47:54 Guest Thank you, sir.

47:55 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

47:56 Drew I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew.

47:58 Adam Michael Weatherly here tonight. Paulie Perrette here tonight from NCIS Tuesdays.

48:04 Guest It's also... It's also known as Schnizzle on the Nizzle, NCIS.

48:09 Adam CBS.

48:09 Yeah.

48:10 Guest That's what we do.

48:11 Adam Were you trying to show us something?

48:12 Dr. Drew, was that your dog?

48:14 Drew That's right. I'm knocking with an iPod Nano. It's night and each night this week we're giving away a new iPod Nano, and all you have to do is listen for the Nine Inch Nails song only as a bump in music. That's the music we hear coming out of commercial life. This is the music. This is not the time to call, however. And the first person to call who says iPod Nano when they hear this music, who's 18 years or older, will win an iPod Nano.

48:36 Adam Now, you got to do the only part right, because it's confusing that it's the Nine Inch Nails song only in our bumper music, the way you say it.

48:43 Drew OK, the song you just heard, which is called Only by Nine Inch Nails.

48:49 Adam Right, in the bumper.

48:50 Guest Is that a hit song? Is that like a big giant hit tune?

48:54 Guest I mean, come on.

48:55 Guest Is it a new one? Well, I'm just trying to catch it. I'm 51 years old.

48:59 Adam Come on, don't be Squaresville, Daddy-o. Dino? You're 21? You want to play some Germany or Florida with us?

49:08 Caller You bet.

49:10 Adam Alright, you give us a story, we'll give you the answer. Tell you whether it's Germany or Florida. Go ahead.

49:14 Caller I'm ready to go. The veterinarian thought the X-ray was a joke. He'd seen strange items get into the stomachs of dogs before, like kebab skewers or small utensils. But a 13-inch serrated knife that somehow was followed by a six-month-old puppy, that was a new one. I was just fab-fabricated, the vet said. Elsie, a St. Bernard puppy, apparently had the blade between her esophagus and stomach for about four days before it was removed earlier this week in a two-hour operation.

49:43 Adam Germany or Florida? Well, I hear Elsie in St. Bernard.

49:47 Drew I think Germany, yeah.

49:48 Adam I think Germany.

49:49 Guest But the clues are there. Let's use our forensic.

49:52 Drew We have Pauley. No one spends money on pets like Americans.

49:57 Guest Not only that. I'm an animal rescuer. I'm just saying. There's a lot of Florida.

50:02 Adam You feel Florida. Pauley's going to Florida. Michael, what do you think?

50:04 Guest Germany or Florida?

50:06 Guest I did a film in Germany once and I'm going to go with Germany. I've spent a little time with the people there.

50:12 Drew They like their dogs?

50:13 Guest Yeah, they like knives.

50:14 Adam They like knives.

50:15 Drew That's true.

50:15 Guest They like knives.

50:16 Adam They like St. Bernard.

50:17 Drew Yes, but the German knives would have sliced them all apart.

50:20 Guest Never knew about a serial killer in Florida. Like, no crime.

50:23 Guest No crime in Miami.

50:26 Adam 14-inch serrated knife?

50:28 Guest Definitely America.

50:29 Caller 13-inch serrated knife.

50:32 Adam Here's the thing. This is 13 inches.

50:36 Drew It's a puppy.

50:37 Adam And a serrated knife.

50:38 Guest But a St. Bernard puppy is a big dog.

50:41 Adam It's not bigger than you are. You would notice a 13-inch serrated knife in your gullet.

50:47 Drew You think somebody shoved it down. Now we're in Florida.

50:49 Guest No, no.

50:51 Adam I just think it's a little hyperbole on the...

50:54 Drew I think it was a journalistic access.

50:55 Guest I think it was a drunk Frenchman in Germany.

50:58 Drew I've got a little Florida feel.

50:59 Guest There's a guy from Miami in Germany.

51:01 Adam Alright, so who are you going to Florida?

51:03 Guest Oh, you're changing to Florida.

51:04 Adam Alright, Michael and I are going Germany. Pauley and Drew are going Florida.

51:08 Drew You're going to Florida, Pauley?

51:09 Guest I am.

51:09 Drew Florida.

51:10 Adam Yeah, so now we find out. Is it Germany or Florida, Dino?

51:14 Caller Plantation, Florida.

51:15 Guest Oh, yeah.

51:17 Guest Just so you know, I grew up down south.

51:19 Adam Wow.

51:20 Guest I was looking for a little Dr. Strange love and I didn't get it.

51:22 Adam So sad. So sad. And Drew, changing.

51:26 Drew Instincts, all bad.

51:27 Guest Drew, I love how you switch sides so quickly.

51:30 Drew You're a Waffler. It's based on instinct only.

51:32 Guest No, no, not a Waffler, a thinker. Thinkers are always ready for evolution.

51:36 Drew That's what Ms. Corolla taught me. All you got is your instinct.

51:40 Guest Thinkers evolve.

51:41 Caller That's right.

51:41 Drew I'm going to go pee.

51:42 Caller All right.

51:42 Caller Dino?

51:43 Guest I have to pee right now.

51:44 Caller Thank you.

51:45 Drew Thanks, Dino.

51:46 Adam Thanks for playing Germany for Lord.

51:47 Drew So, Pauley is a urinary tract problem. Oh, he gets infections recurrently.

51:51 Adam Well, it's that rough sack.

51:52 Guest Drew is trying to bring out. Drew has a new pharmaceutical product he's about to pitch. It's a go.

51:57 Drew That honeymoon cystitis, you know.

51:59 Guest He's using me as his pocket.

52:01 Guest There's a whole wing of Drew's house that's funded by pharmaceutical companies.

52:04 Drew Well, no, you got to take the antibiotics.

52:06 Guest What is it? What is it, Drew? Tell us what the Cipro, which was confused by some people as a drug that's only used for anthrax, which was very upsetting during the problem in Louisiana because they were sent something. It's a million different things that Cipro works for. It was identified in the media as anthrax only, but it also is for every balance, every kind of thing that was happening.

52:30 Drew Cipro is a very powerful, it's called quinolone antibiotics. It's another version that is of, oh my goodness, I'm blocking this, and there's fluoroquinolone.

52:40 Adam Now, no one cares.

52:43 Guest We care. It was misidentified as the medicine was supposed to be sent.

52:48 Drew Levoquin is just like it.

52:50 Adam See, no one cares.

52:51 Drew It's for enteral bacterias like the shigella and the salmonella. It's good for gram-negative bacteria and some gram-positive activity. So it can be a first-year infection.

52:59 Guest Not just anthrax, which is what it was tied to, but it's used for everything.

53:02 Drew Anthrax, had that whole thing not come up, I wouldn't have known it was good for anthrax, because we use it every day for other things.

53:09 Guest Yes, for everything, and it was sent apparently to help out with other things, and it was sent back, because it was identified as only an anthrax drug, which isn't...

53:17 Guest Can I crush it? Can I crush it up and snort it? No, I can't.

53:20 Adam It was sent back from Louisiana?

53:23 Guest Yes.

53:24 Adam Really? They sent it back? People, whoever it's going to, don't have enough?

53:28 Guest I'm saying nothing I know too much.

53:29 Guest It was the only thing... That and in-sync posters were sent back.

53:32 Adam Well, I mean, aren't the drugs going to people who first know their way around a drug? I mean, you're not just some guy making a poll on a loading dock.

53:40 Guest Where are those people exactly?

53:42 Adam Well, I'm sure the guys you're seeing, the doctors are requesting things, right?

53:46 Guest Where are the doctors?

53:48 Adam I think they're over there.

53:49 Guest They're working their tails off and, yeah.

53:52 Adam What are you saying?

53:53 Guest Nothing. Go ahead.

53:55 Adam I'm just saying, do you think it actually got sent back? You know what I'm saying?

54:00 Guest Google it. That's what you did to me. Google it.

54:02 Adam All right. I'm just saying it sounds like a conspiracy theory.

54:06 Guest It was more of a mistake, not a conspiracy theory. Although conspiracy theories are very fun.

54:10 Adam Jonathan?

54:12 Drew 23.

54:12 Adam 23? What's that? What's happening?

54:15 I've had some retarded ejaculation. I can have sex for about 45 minutes, but just simply with some women cannot get off at all.

54:24 Drew Jonathan, relax.

54:26 Guest All right.

54:27 Adam Are you in the military, Jonathan?

54:29 Caller No.

54:30 Drew He's a clear and present voice.

54:32 Adam You should take that energy and steer it toward a country we don't like, instead of turning on your own troops, which is what you're doing now. Yeah.

54:42 Guest Where's Jonathan from?

54:43 Drew Oregon.

54:44 Adam Yeah.

54:44 Guest Oregon.

54:44 Adam Well, it doesn't matter because you can hear him. You just open your window.

54:47 Guest It gets dry there now. Yes.

54:49 I'll tone it down. Sorry about that.

54:51 Adam All right. All right. You're excited.

54:52 Guest I like that.

54:53 Adam And so this only happens with certain women.

54:57 Well, yeah, here's the thing.

54:59 Drew Hello. Jonathan, calm down. Go ahead.

55:03 If it's a girl that I'm dating or a girl who I have some potential love for, it's bad. Like that's when it's worse. And yet if it's a random hookup or a girl is kind of stanky, things are sometimes fine.

55:17 Drew How long is it when things are fine?

55:19 Oh, normal times, five, ten minutes, fifteen minutes.

55:22 Drew So really it's anxiety. When you're in a situation where the stakes are up, when you're sort of emotionally on the line, it's a little bit much for you. And that's okay. Maybe take it a little slower in the relationships and make sure the relationship is established before you go ahead with the attempts at sex.

55:38 Guest And some girls don't mind, just so you know.

55:41 Drew Some.

55:41 Adam Don't mind the quickie.

55:42 Guest Some girls don't mind what?

55:44 Guest The quickie.

55:44 Drew The quickie or the longie?

55:46 Guest The quickie.

55:47 Adam Well, this doesn't happen at all, right?

55:49 Drew Wait, I'm confused.

55:50 Guest He's taking his time.

55:51 Drew Wait, you mean someone would don't mind a guy that takes 45 minutes to ejaculate?

55:56 Guest No, I said a quickie.

55:58 Adam This isn't his problem.

55:59 Guest I think Pauley put herself in the other category.

56:01 Drew I see.

56:02 Guest I swear to God he said 45 seconds.

56:04 Drew No, no, 45 minutes. Most women don't like more than 10 minutes. 10 minutes is like five minutes even for some.

56:10 Guest It's funny sitting around one, two, three, four, five, six, seven guys and them telling me how women feel.

56:15 Drew Well, I was just talking to them all night. They tell us.

56:18 Guest We report it.

56:18 Adam Tell us what you want.

56:20 Drew Yeah.

56:20 Guest Yeah.

56:21 Drew We're just we're just listening. Yeah.

56:22 Adam To this bladder infection.

56:24 Guest And I'm just watching.

56:25 Guest Metal workers.

56:26 Drew Right. You get 20 minutes. You get a bladder infection. Yeah.

56:30 Adam Yeah. 20 minutes. That's what happens. Yeah. That's why I always set the timer for 20 minutes. 19 and 59 seconds. I pull out.

56:40 Drew So, Jonathan, the deal is you got to find ways to be more comfortable in the relationships and the.

56:44 Adam Well, you got to get into a relationship. You just you just bouncing around.

56:48 So, OK. So tell me this then, does that mean that I just need to know myself and say, hey, I can't have promiscuous sex?

56:54 Drew No, promiscuous sex.

56:56 Adam I thought that worked for you.

56:57 Drew Promiscuous sex is what does work for you. It's when you actually have a.

57:00 Adam Yeah.

57:00 Guest Confusing.

57:03 Adam Sex isn't promiscuous.

57:04 Drew You have to understand yourself that when you get anxious, you don't function very well. So you have to get some degree of comfort in a relationship that's meaningful for you before you attempt to climb the mountain.

57:13 OK. Let me ask you, is it something that's genetic or is it masturbation tied or what is it?

57:20 Adam It's genetic.

57:21 Drew Well, yes.

57:21 Adam Most of the time, tied to masturbation.

57:23 Drew Yeah.

57:23 Adam Well, what do you do? Do you sell something for a living? No. What do you do? We all. What do you do? Don't work.

57:31 Live with the folks.

57:33 Adam Wow. What's going on?

57:34 Guest Are you going to school? Are you a serial killer? I'm sorry.

57:37 Adam Well, now he's going to be.

57:38 Not a serial killer.

57:39 Adam No.

57:39 Going to school.

57:40 Adam But he wasn't going to be and then you planted that seed.

57:43 No.

57:44 Guest He didn't say school the first time.

57:46 He didn't say that.

57:46 Guest He didn't say, I'm living with my folks. I'm going to school.

57:48 Adam Regular school or junior college?

57:50 Caller No. Regular school.

57:52 Guest Right on.

57:53 Drew For the most part, Jonathan, that timing to orgasm in males and women is sort of genetically set. And then what gets, as you're finding out the sort of psychological stuff that influences, like in your case, anxiety is a typically common thing and it makes it worse. But women that have multiple orgasms, that's a genetic thing. Women that have only orgasm with oral sex, that's a genetic thing.

58:15 Adam Everything's genetic.

58:15 Drew Guys that are 45 seconds, genetic thing, guys that are 45 minutes.

58:18 Guest Squirters.

58:18 Drew The squirting thing is a genetic thing as well.

58:21 Guest The decorator.

58:22 Guest Touched by the hand of God. Hey Jonathan, have you run into any of them?

58:26 Adam Hold on a second, the squirters. Jonathan?

58:30 Guest I don't know what you're talking about.

58:31 Adam You ever ran into a squirter?

58:34 Never, but man I sure wish I had.

58:37 Guest All right, well keep at it.

58:38 Drew Oh, do you imagine Jonathan doing a touchdown?

58:40 Adam You keep your nose to the grindstone and your eyes open, son, and you'll find a squirter. That's my father told me.

58:48 Guest Up in Portland there, you're going to fit, it's rainy country.

58:51 Adam Yeah.

58:51 Drew You know what he was going to say next?

58:53 Adam Get your nose to the landstone.

58:54 Guest Tell us Drew, tell us Drew.

58:55 Drew This is Mason jar.

58:57 Adam That was bogus.

58:57 Drew Yeah, tell us who's going to say Mason jar.

58:59 Adam Jonathan, you feel bogus to us.

59:02 Caller No man, not at all.

59:04 Drew Not going to give a Mason jar comment?

59:06 Just being real.

59:07 Caller All right, Jonathan.

59:09 Guest Me too, man.

59:09 Adam All right, calm down. You're going to freak chicks out. You understand?

59:17 Drew Oh, we got the F-bomb. Finally, Pauley let it loose.

59:21 Guest We warned you.

59:22 Adam That's just the tip of the. There it is.

59:25 Drew You got to let the delay reset here.

59:27 Adam All right, well, let me talk about something unimportant then. Here's the thing, too, about about Jonathan, you can't hit chicks with a thousand words. You got to lay back and have them try to pry words out of you.

59:40 Guest Tell me all you males, tell me, tell me what chicks like.

59:43 Caller I'll tell you what chicks like.

59:45 Adam Chicks like what they're not getting. So if you're a guy who doesn't talk much, they want you to talk. But if your guy does a lot of talk and they'd like you to be quiet and they don't like seeing too much enthusiasm, but they do like to see enthusiasm from a guy who's not enthusiastic.

1:00:01 Guest It is fascinating that you know more about me than me. Well, I'm so baffled by your insight.

1:00:07 Adam You're simpler than I am. And secondly, I've studied you. You've not had that same opportunity.

1:00:12 Guest So you're the guy. Yeah, OK. You're the one.

1:00:16 Adam Well, humans don't differ that much.

1:00:18 Guest You've been in my apartment, haven't you?

1:00:20 Adam I cannot close my eyes and see it.

1:00:22 Guest I'm getting you printed right now in a DNA sample on its way.

1:00:24 Guest You can't close your eyes and see it.

1:00:26 Adam I can promise you this. You would not have that bladder infection when I was done with you.

1:00:30 Guest Michael has a lot of bladder infection. He's the one that talks about it all the time.

1:00:33 Adam Well under 20.

1:00:34 Drew The size and the timing can add to the issues with the bladder infection.

1:00:38 Guest You've got to be careful with the bladder infections.

1:00:39 Drew Adam is a perfect partner for you.

1:00:40 Guest Really?

1:00:41 Guest Perfect. They can lead to kidney infections, right? That can be a problem.

1:00:44 Guest Actually, the truth is that Michael, scientifically, is the one who gave me my background, which we said we're not going to talk about it because we have this little thing. He gave me the background on the evolution of a bladder urinary tract infection, and I was fascinated by it, absolutely fascinated.

1:00:59 Drew Bacteria live in your perineum that comes from the colon.

1:01:02 Guest It wasn't him who had it, but he just told me we were talking about my doctor.

1:01:04 Drew It gets pushed up the urethra and grows in the bladder. If you don't treat it while it's in the bladder, it will send up the urethra and get the kidney.

1:01:11 Guest That's fascinating to me. Antigravity.

1:01:13 Drew Well, it just climbs up. It's just extension of an infection in a closed space, basically. Kidneys are bad. Once it hits the kidney, you'll start vomiting and get high fevers, have to be in the hospital, and you can get kidney failure. These are not. Listen, this is one of the many ways people died from sex before antibiotics.

1:01:29 Guest It's very serious. And Cipro is one of the things.

1:01:33 Drew Quinalones are more common. They actually use the sulfa medicines now because the women, they're prone to bladder infections, really have to take antibiotics every time they have sex, and so sulfa is a little sexy.

1:01:43 Guest Or unless you drink or take, so I was told cranberry juice, there's something, doesn't help, but it has to be done prior to it, which doesn't help after you know.

1:01:51 Drew Maybe. Yeah, it may help. It may help.

1:01:53 Adam All right. Nothing that tastes good really helps.

1:01:55 Drew Maybe not. It's just the mechanics of having sex pushes the bacteria in and not much you can do about that sometimes.

1:02:01 Adam Chris, what's the difference between a bladder infection and urinary tract infection?

1:02:04 Drew They are the same thing.

1:02:05 Adam All right.

1:02:06 Guest Does one move to the other? Do they create each other? Doesn't the urinary tract and the bladder is the same thing?

1:02:09 Drew Urinary tract is just referring from your kidneys to your bladder to your urethra. That's the kidney tract. I mean, that's the urinary tract. And bladder is specific to the bladder, which is what happens before it gets on up to the kidneys.

1:02:22 Adam You know what they had to do? They had to name subway and light rail systems after these things so people knew, because the L and the R and all that stuff and the numbers and everything.

1:02:31 Drew Called the kidney and the urethra?

1:02:32 Guest Yeah, but this has a cute name. What's it called? Honeymoon something? It's got a cute little logo.

1:02:36 Guest No, no, not that part.

1:02:37 Adam I just mean you know where you're going. It's sort of, you know, if you're getting on at the ankle, you'll be getting off at the hip. You know what I mean? There's a succession here. That's a way for people who travel to learn about the urinary tract and not only that but the lower bowel.

1:02:53 Drew Oh, wait till we get to the cardiovascular system. Oh my god.

1:02:55 Adam How would it go, Drew?

1:02:56 Drew A similar artery, iliac artery.

1:02:58 Adam You might get on there. Well, where might you get off?

1:03:01 Drew In the heart. Get off in the end of the left ventricle.

1:03:04 Guest But you don't want to get, it's like that little, what's the film with the little tiny ship that sails through the, you know, all the different arteries and things.

1:03:13 Drew I think that was a dream. Fantastic voyage.

1:03:15 Guest Fantastic voyage, which you've just taken us on. Thank you, Dr. Drew.

1:03:18 Adam Yeah, except we're not so fantastic.

1:03:19 Guest Except they don't want to go into the, Yeah, that's called the Boring Voyage by Dr. Drew.

1:03:25 Drew Well, they hit their Tyrovenous malformation that sent them into the left ventricle.

1:03:28 Guest Or everything I want to know about sex, there was also the, Chris, all right, let's pretend like we're on the air for just 10 minutes. Are we on the air?

1:03:36 Guest Right, right, right, right.

1:03:37 Adam Chris, you're 16.

1:03:40 Guest Are you telling him that or did he tell you that?

1:03:42 Adam Chris, I'm trying to pretend like we're on the air.

1:03:44 Drew Chris, you there?

1:03:45 Guest My name's Chris, I'm 16.

1:03:46 Drew There we go. Go ahead, yeah.

1:03:50 Adam You're 19, go ahead.

1:03:52 Caller Okay, I have some questions for the NCIS people, but first I just want to tell them I have a friend that's absolutely in love with that show, and thanks to him he got me into it. But anyway, I was wondering if you guys had some history with Forensic Science before you were on the show or did they just do a casting call and you guys got picked?

1:04:12 Drew Yes, they went to years of graduate level training.

1:04:15 Guest Yes, Pauley Perrette.

1:04:18 Guest Well, what?

1:04:19 Guest Yeah.

1:04:19 Guest Did you?

1:04:21 Guest Hold on a second.

1:04:22 Guest Yeah, he knows that, everybody knows. Come on. I went to school, I'm a Criminal Science major.

1:04:27 Adam You are?

1:04:28 Guest Yeah.

1:04:29 Adam All right, you didn't know much about it?

1:04:31 Guest No, sure.

1:04:31 Guest Come on, tell us a little bit about it.

1:04:33 Guest Yeah, I went to school for Criminal Science, Sociology and Psychology.

1:04:38 Adam You did?

1:04:38 Guest All three.

1:04:39 Guest Where did you go to school?

1:04:40 Guest Down south. That makes it not prestigious.

1:04:44 Adam What do you mean down south?

1:04:45 Guest I did. I went to school down south for Sociology, Psychology and Criminal Science. And I was, yes, planning a career in Forensics. And perhaps FBI. That was my...

1:04:54 Adam Really?

1:04:55 Guest Yeah. And amazingly enough, full circle, I now play Forensic Science on television.

1:05:01 Adam Wow.

1:05:02 Guest And yes, it helps me with the big words.

1:05:05 Adam Michael, you had no interest in this before the gig, right?

1:05:08 Guest He just wanted to be with somebody who studied Forensic Science.

1:05:10 Guest Right, no, right. I had absolutely... I studied Political Science, which is much different. And no real interest in the Forensic world.

1:05:21 Adam Well, Chris, caller Chris, who's now 19, I was going to yell at you for asking such a stupid question, but it turns out...

1:05:29 Guest He knows exactly what he's talking about.

1:05:32 Adam He does. Chris?

1:05:34 Caller I was also wondering if you guys know of some good schools where I could take Forensic Science classes, because I'm interested in becoming...

1:05:39 Adam Right, just go down south.

1:05:41 Guest That's where the best ones are. No, apparently they're cropping up everywhere in the last five years. The F word, meaning Forensics, was unknown to people. I think in real life, it didn't actually mean what you see on television. It means to detect and to discover and to study. But now the word Forensics, that F word that's been celebrated on television, the programs are packed and they're in a city near you.

1:06:01 Adam Yeah, you know, I imagine these shows are doing what Top Gun did for naval enlistment in terms of people wanting to be pilots, you know? I mean, nobody knew you could do this as a gig.

1:06:14 Guest Or what summer school did for substitute teachers.

1:06:17 Adam Yeah, Mark Harmon, everybody. His greatest role yet. My greatest role is a mother, Drew, but Mark and his greatest role yet, the timely 1986 reference.

1:06:30 Guest He's adorable. You googled that. You know you did.

1:06:32 Adam He's hot.

1:06:34 Guest He is hot.

1:06:34 Guest He's wonderful.

1:06:35 Adam You know, Mark Harmon's one of these guys that looks the same. Like, clearly not the same Mark Harmon that was in summer school 20 years ago.

1:06:43 Guest No, his hair is now pure silver, but hot.

1:06:47 Adam Silver Fox.

1:06:49 Guest That's what we call him.

1:06:51 Drew But where did you go to college?

1:06:53 Guest I actually had a really disastrous teenage time. I went to four different colleges. I went to Boston University, Menlo College in Atherton, California, the American College in Paris for a semester, American University in Washington, DC., and then I dropped out.

1:07:09 Drew Something just happened at American University. I have no idea. A professor got killed or something.

1:07:15 Guest All I know is we had something called the Khashoggi Center, which was a very strange large building that they were always weapon convoys going through the Khashoggi Center.

1:07:29 Guest Did you dream that or did it really happen?

1:07:30 Guest No, I dreamt that.

1:07:31 Drew Where did you go to college?

1:07:33 Guest I went to school.

1:07:34 Adam Down south. Down south. There's only one college down there.

1:07:38 Guest It's the enigma of Pauley Perrette. It's presented to you in this very mysterious packet. Duke?

1:07:43 Drew You go to Duke?

1:07:44 Guest You know what?

1:07:44 Drew No.

1:07:45 Guest No.

1:07:45 Adam You go to Duke. You say you go to Duke.

1:07:47 Guest Emory?

1:07:48 Adam Josh?

1:07:48 Drew Emory? You went to Duke?

1:07:49 Adam I'm pretending like we're doing a radio show and continuing our phone calls. Josh?

1:07:52 Guest Where's Josh? Hi, Josh.

1:07:55 Guest Hi.

1:07:56 Guest It's Pauley.

1:08:01 Guest Okay. So I'm going out with this girl and she's African American.

1:08:08 Adam Bogus.

1:08:09 Guest I'm not bogus.

1:08:11 Adam Gay and bogus. Gay, Gabus. That was my frat name.

1:08:18 Guest And she's black, but also my family is sort of racist. Like, I don't think they're KKK members, but like, they make like racial comments and they don't approve of like interracial dating, you know.

1:08:34 Drew What is your question? Yeah, what do you want?

1:08:36 Guest Okay, sorry. So my question is, and also I'm really close to my family. So my question is, should I go with a girl or should I go with my family? Cause I'm really close to both of them.

1:08:45 Adam Homobus.

1:08:48 Guest I'm sorry?

1:08:49 Drew Homogus.

1:08:50 Adam Homogus. It's bogus and homosexual at the same time. Look, Josh, who are you kidding? This is a bogus call. Why? This is not a question. Why? A, I can hear it in your voice. B, you sound gay. A, three, you don't have a girlfriend. D, you've never been laid once in your life. And R, or wherever we're up to. It's just not fitting in no question.

1:09:12 Drew No question.

1:09:12 Adam Yeah, nothing.

1:09:13 Guest Fellini satiricon, Josh.

1:09:15 Adam No.

1:09:16 Drew Yeah, but it's-

1:09:17 Adam Go with your family.

1:09:18 Drew What, you want us to tell you what year you think we're in? I understand it was not really a question. It's you're going to, you have a girlfriend.

1:09:27 Guest I want to know which one should I go with, my family or this girl?

1:09:31 Drew That's not a question. It's not a question we can answer.

1:09:33 Guest Can I go with my family, because I am close to my family?

1:09:36 Drew It's not a question we can answer. We can't tell you how to live your life.

1:09:40 Guest We don't know your family or your girlfriend.

1:09:42 Guest What would you do if you were me?

1:09:44 Guest I would get a magic eight ball. Josh.

1:09:47 Adam And shake it. What do you mean go with your family? Do you have to live with them for the rest of your life?

1:09:53 Drew Do you have to leave them in order to date your girlfriend?

1:09:55 Guest Do they have weapons?

1:09:56 Adam How do they know who you're dating?

1:09:57 How old are you?

1:09:58 Adam What's your sign?

1:10:01 Drew Are you in college now?

1:10:03 Guest Yeah.

1:10:04 Drew Where in college?

1:10:05 Guest I'm at a community college in Colorado.

1:10:08 Drew University of Denver or something?

1:10:09 Adam No, community.

1:10:10 Drew Right. Does that then, right downtown?

1:10:12 Adam Let me explain something, by the way. It's junior college because when you call it a community college, it erases the negative stigma that needs to be there as a motivation to get people out of junior college. Community college sounds like you're doing a great thing, not only for the community. It's got the word community and college right in it.

1:10:31 Drew Right. Where's your junior college t-shirt that I got you in New York?

1:10:34 Adam Oh, it's too tight. Oh, I'll put it on. If it gets up to past 90 in here, we're only at 86, I'll put it on. Josh, when are you moving out of the house?

1:10:44 Guest I've already moved out, but like we have family reunions. My dad is paying for my college.

1:10:50 Adam Well, first off, what do you have to pay?

1:10:53 Drew For your college.

1:10:54 Adam It's $4 a unit.

1:10:56 Guest For my junior college, I think right now I'm only taking...

1:11:00 Adam Hold on a second. Let me explain something. Let me explain. Like when your kid goes to Harvard, your parents are paying for college. When you go to junior college, they're paying. They're paying for being bad parents. They're paying for not working with you. They're paying for not going over. They don't mean paying, figuratively. They mean it figuratively, not literally. They mean they're actually paying the price.

1:11:22 Drew They're paying the price. They're being paid.

1:11:24 Adam The human toll, the disgrace in the shade.

1:11:26 Guest How do you feel about racism, Josh? What are your views on racism, Josh?

1:11:29 Drew He's got an African American girlfriend.

1:11:31 Adam Yeah, he's a lot like me.

1:11:32 Guest Does he? But does he?

1:11:33 Adam What do you think? He's a virgin, though.

1:11:36 Guest Yeah, I'm a virgin.

1:11:37 Drew Yeah, we can hear that.

1:11:38 Adam I can hear that.

1:11:39 Guest Okay.

1:11:39 Drew So, Josh lives your life.

1:11:40 Adam I don't even know that she's your girlfriend. I don't know that she knows she's your girlfriend.

1:11:45 Guest What do you mean by that?

1:11:46 Drew Well, you're not sleeping with her.

1:11:48 Adam You're not sleeping with her.

1:11:49 Guest Oh, okay. This girl I'm dating.

1:11:51 Adam Well, how long have you been dating her?

1:11:54 Guest Six months.

1:11:55 Drew How many times have you gone out with her?

1:11:58 Guest Too many times to count, really.

1:12:00 Adam Right. But if he wasn't going to junior college, he could count past four.

1:12:04 Guest I just saw this movie.

1:12:05 Adam And what have you done with her physically? Have you kissed her?

1:12:09 Guest Yeah, I've made out with her.

1:12:10 Adam Any, but nothing past that?

1:12:14 Guest I've sort of like felt her butt and stuff.

1:12:18 Adam I felt my mom's ass earlier today outside her pants. Let me explain black chicks. They're getting down with you if they're India. Oh, yes.

1:12:26 Drew Well, any.

1:12:27 Adam Oh, yes.

1:12:28 Drew By the way. But here's the deal, Josh. You're you. You have some medication or is this bogus? All right.

1:12:35 Adam Here's what's going. OK, now I might I might shift from.

1:12:39 Guest Adam's revved up. Look, he's revved up now. You can see it. By the way, there's a light.

1:12:42 Adam I might make the shift from bogus to sort of socially retarded. And when I mean retarded, I don't mean like, oh, I just mean the opposite of advance and retard.

1:12:53 Drew Like held back. Right. Which is why when he asked us a question, we're like, what do you want?

1:12:57 Adam Josh is emotionally 13, 12 or 13.

1:13:02 Drew Yes.

1:13:02 Adam And I knew he was a virgin.

1:13:04 Drew Yeah.

1:13:05 Adam And I'm not sure if you talk to this girl, if she would say, Josh is my boyfriend, she might say he's a guy I know from school.

1:13:12 Drew And you know, like a 12 year old will begin spinning yarns about the rest of their life based on a crush. That's kind of what he's doing.

1:13:18 Adam And also, if he constructs a question based on the racism in his family, then it's all of a sudden, it's like he has a girlfriend.

1:13:26 Drew Right.

1:13:27 Adam But I'm not so sure she exists.

1:13:29 Drew Right, it ups the meaning of the relationship.

1:13:31 Guest And maybe it's that they're not the point that they are accepting or trusting anything that he does right now, not just the girlfriend, but probably several things.

1:13:37 Adam I don't know that, I don't know if, if, does this, when's the last time this girl called you, Josh?

1:13:43 Guest Earlier today.

1:13:46 Drew Josh.

1:13:47 Guest It was earlier today.

1:13:48 Adam To tell you to stop calling her?

1:13:51 Caller No, just that.

1:13:53 Adam Why do you think you haven't slept with her yet?

1:13:57 Guest I don't know, I, I believe mostly in saving yourself for marriage.

1:14:02 Caller Right.

1:14:04 Guest But also just, I don't know if I'm ready, you know, I don't know if she's ready.

1:14:08 Drew Why do you seem so-

1:14:08 Adam But six months.

1:14:10 Drew Yeah, Josh, why do you seem, did you, were you homeschooled or something? Why do you seem so sort of behind socially?

1:14:17 Guest I, I don't know, man. I'll have to think about that one, because-

1:14:21 Drew Well, no, did you date normally in high school?

1:14:23 Adam Did you ever have any head trauma or anything like that?

1:14:26 Guest Is this your first girlfriend?

1:14:27 Drew Did you hospitalized? Is this your first girlfriend?

1:14:28 Guest Yeah, this is my first girlfriend.

1:14:29 Drew Yeah, the 20, that's kind of, that's a little late, right?

1:14:32 Adam You sound like a late bloomer, Jerry Mormon.

1:14:33 Guest Well, I'm kind of, I'm kind of ugly.

1:14:36 Adam Oh, buddy.

1:14:38 Drew Come on.

1:14:39 Guest That's also kind of the reason why I like this girl so much is cause she doesn't care about what you look like, you know? Yeah, she's blind. And, you know, I'm 20 years old, I haven't had a girlfriend before, but I think she might be the one.

1:14:54 Drew Well, no, but Josh, don't spin the yarns.

1:14:56 Adam All right, Josh, here's, here's what you need to do. Don't worry about your racist parents as it pertains to her. I'm just going to answer this like, like I believe it. Yeah. Just continue dating her. Good. Don't have sex. We don't need a bunch of little Josh's running around out there. Not that he's going to name them all Josh, but you know what I'm saying?

1:15:13 Drew Josh is a sweet guy.

1:15:14 Adam Right. He's a sweet guy.

1:15:15 Drew Good luck, buddy.

1:15:16 Adam And good luck. We deal with plenty a-holes. You're not one of them.

1:15:20 Drew Yes. Thank God.

1:15:20 Guest And don't date someone just because you think it's the only person who's not going to think you're ugly. Yeah. That's, that's not the reason to date someone.

1:15:28 Adam Well, it's not, it's not when you're good looking, but when you are actually ugly, it's not bad.

1:15:32 Drew It's OK to be realistic.

1:15:33 Guest Yeah.

1:15:33 Adam Be realistic, everybody. We'll take a quick break. We'll be back after this.

1:15:38 Guest Loveline be right back in a minute. Yeah, everybody, it's Loveline.

1:16:08 Adam I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew.

1:16:11 Drew Is that Nine Inch Nails?

1:16:12 Adam I don't know.

1:16:13 Guest Yes.

1:16:14 Guest Nin.

1:16:15 Adam It's Nin.

1:16:16 Drew Does that mean something, that it's Nine Inch Nails?

1:16:19 Guest Julian West, I think.

1:16:20 Adam Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Pauley and Michael both here from NCIS. Tuesday nights, 8 o'clock on CBS.

1:16:28 Guest It's the craziest crime drama, comedy.

1:16:31 Guest It's definitely the funniest.

1:16:32 Guest Slapstick. You get to watch Pauley Perrette dance around in a little white outfit.

1:16:36 Guest That's not true.

1:16:36 Guest It's all forensic mischiefs.

1:16:38 Caller Maybe a little bit.

1:16:39 Guest Joe, riddle me this, Joe.

1:16:41 Caller Hey, what's up?

1:16:42 Adam You're 25?

1:16:43 Caller There you are.

1:16:44 Caller Yep. What's up? I got a major problem. Oh, good boy. Right now, well, I think it's major. I don't know. I'm married. Things are going great. But a lot of times, man, I love porno, man. I'm addicted to it and I'm afraid because I'm still interested in my wife. We still have sex and things and things are cool. But I mean, there are times where I just rather have the porn. And I'm getting kind of worried about it because I don't want to mess with my marriage or nothing.

1:17:15 Drew Are you doing anything weird? Are you sort of getting into more and more peripheral kinds of porn or is it the same thing over and over?

1:17:22 Caller No, it's just the basic stuff. I'm not into nothing weird.

1:17:25 Drew Are you ever been addicted to sex or any other addictions?

1:17:29 Caller I've had some issues with some drinking. I don't think it was full-blown out alcohol or nothing.

1:17:35 Drew And were you traumatized growing up? Any sexual or physical abuse?

1:17:38 Caller Well, you know what? That's what I was kind of thinking after listening to your show. I was trying to evaluate myself. I do have a feeling that something might have happened when I was a child. I don't know, but I could tell you that at the age of about kindergarten, going into the first grade, I had a massive weight gain. I had some emotional problems growing up, a couple of little things like we're...

1:18:00 Adam There was a massive weight gain, your uncle on top of you? If you put like 200 pounds on, I did that once.

1:18:07 Drew And what was the other thing?

1:18:07 Adam I was just a goiter.

1:18:08 Drew You were telling me something more? That what happened?

1:18:10 Caller It was just drastic. I mean, I could see it from like a picture. It just really triggered a lot of memories. Not too long ago, I see a picture from kindergarten to first grade. It was like, I mean, unhealthy. And I just really struggled with self-image. I'm in shape now. Things are good. But I still struggle with sometimes with a self-image.

1:18:30 Adam And I bet you're one of these guys isn't too good at shave, getting on the juice.

1:18:36 Caller And I like to eat too much.

1:18:40 Adam All right.

1:18:40 Drew But you don't do steroids.

1:18:42 Caller Oh, have I?

1:18:43 Drew Yeah.

1:18:44 Caller Yes, sir.

1:18:45 Drew Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. You're that kind of you fit that profile. Yeah.

1:18:49 Adam Here's, here's the thing, Joe. Well, and your name is Joey from Detroit, home from Detroit.

1:18:53 Drew Got to think steroids then.

1:18:54 Adam Yeah. So here, here's the thing. I think you're one of these guys that's worried that you're going to spin out, but you're not quite spinning out yet.

1:19:03 Drew Because he has the potential to spin out.

1:19:04 Adam Because you have the potential to spin. And the deal is, is if you want to watch your porn and still remain intimate with your wife, that's fine. It's when you start making buddies on the internet and start spending money on prostitutes.

1:19:19 Drew Yes, you're heading in that direction. That's where you're going.

1:19:21 Adam You go from the hypothetical porn world or the harmless porn world into the actual part where you're harming your relationship.

1:19:29 Drew And that's what addiction and compulsions tend to be. And it is, in fact, a history of boundary problems, such as sexual abuse and the biology of addiction that sets people up for that. So you have all the ingredients there. The fact that you've been on steroids, you've had a drinking problem, it's all part of that addictive chemistry. So Joe, you got something going on here, buddy.

1:19:47 Adam Maybe I'll get a little therapy or.

1:19:50 Guest Do you enjoy watching it more than you enjoy the act itself?

1:19:53 Caller No, I enjoy it, but even if I have sex, like maybe two hours later, I still want to go watch porn, probably.

1:19:59 Guest How about, Dan, do you share the porn with your wife?

1:20:02 Caller Occasionally, yeah.

1:20:04 Guest So that's, all right.

1:20:05 Guest What does she think?

1:20:07 Caller Well, I think she knows I enjoy porn, but not to her.

1:20:09 Guest What does she think about porn?

1:20:11 Caller Oh, she likes it, but I mean, not all the time.

1:20:14 Drew All right, Joe. See where this is going. Yeah, you guys are missing it. He's got his relationship, but they've got sex, but he's got his compulsive behavior that's evolving. And right now it's about porn, but next year it's going to be about prostitutes.

1:20:27 Guest It's going to be about steroids.

1:20:29 Caller I want to ask a question. If I want to correct this behavior, then should I just cut that porn out?

1:20:35 Drew Well, it's an interesting question. Yeah, if you can. You know, you're going to have whatever you do, it's going to be a reaction, is the thing. And unless you sort of replace all this with some more emotional health, it's going to be tough to keep it on a path to sort of a fulfilling experience, fulfilling relationships. And whether you get involved with a 12-step or get a therapist or get somebody to sort of help you along with this, it's not something you're able to do alone. Let's put it that way.

1:20:59 Adam Let me ask you this question.

1:21:00 Drew Not successfully, not the way you want it to be. You're insightful, Joe. You've got what it takes to get better. You sort of see the problem. Get a mental health professional to help you out with this.

1:21:09 Adam Let me ask you this question about males wanting some kind of secret life within the relationship. And for some, it means going out and seeing prostitutes. And for others, it's just escaping into some comic book collection down in the basement. But I believe that most men want to have some sort of secret life within their relationship.

1:21:34 Drew What it is, it's not a secret life so much as a secret space. They want to climb into a cave by themselves.

1:21:40 Adam Yeah.

1:21:40 Drew They want to be left alone.

1:21:42 Adam I think, but I think you can call it a secret life in the sense that there's a couple of things that I do that I don't want you knowing about. I don't want you to have any knowledge of. This is about me.

1:21:52 Drew Just mine.

1:21:52 Adam And I need this in order to stay in this relationship because men are sort of wired to have that autonomy. The women are wired to be a little bit different.

1:22:02 Drew Why are you wired that way?

1:22:03 Guest Do you think it's socialization? If it's socialization, why?

1:22:06 Drew No, I'm sorry, you have a nesting mandate. You have two large chromosomes that make you female. They have a tremendous amount of genetic information on them. What makes us male is a little piece of DNA called a Y chromosome. It's very simple, has very limited information. It's the same in all three of us. So what makes us male is simple.

1:22:27 Adam Count Rick the engineer.

1:22:29 Guest On the nature of nurture, we are 100% nature, not nurture.

1:22:33 Drew We differ from chimpanzees by 300 base pairs. We differ from you, us men, by an entire chromosome. To not pay homage to that profound biology is naïve.

1:22:44 Guest To not pay homage to sociology and nurture is incredible.

1:22:49 Adam No, that's nonsense.

1:22:49 Guest I mean, they both exist. Yeah, they both are here.

1:22:52 Adam Anyone who raises kids knows. You give a little girl, you give a little boy, the boy picks up a thing, tries to turn it into a gun immediately.

1:22:58 Drew You can't force the kids into...

1:23:00 Adam Yeah, that's retarded 60s thinking.

1:23:02 Drew It really has been profoundly...

1:23:03 Adam There are differences. There are just huge differences between males and females.

1:23:07 Guest No, no, there's no difference. As a human species, nature and nurture are both a part of everything that we are.

1:23:14 Drew Yeah, sure they are.

1:23:14 Guest Both of them are. And to say that either one is responsible for anything is ignorant.

1:23:18 Adam Well, you got to look at it this way. How did it get the way it is?

1:23:22 Drew What set it up?

1:23:23 Guest Talk shows?

1:23:23 Adam What drove it before media existed? How did we get where we are?

1:23:29 Guest Both. Absolutely.

1:23:30 Adam Before people's minds could be poisoned through television and imagery and magazines and stuff, millions and millions of years ago, who decided that men will go out and build a few bridges and hunt a few animals and drag a few carcasses? But how did that begin, though?

1:23:45 Guest Their wife.

1:23:46 Drew No, somebody sat down and decided the men were going to be the...

1:23:48 Adam Did the man sit down and decide that? And by the way, why do we decide we got to go out and hunt and the chick gets to stay home? I would have gone the other way around with that.

1:23:57 Guest I don't know, baby. I'm a hunter.

1:23:59 Drew The biology is so profoundly different that now medicine even is having doctors that just dedicate to women and just dedicate to men.

1:24:05 Guest Absolutely.

1:24:06 Drew We're even seeing that the cells function differently.

1:24:08 Guest Absolutely, but sociology has evolved every year as well.

1:24:12 Drew No, the biology is so profound.

1:24:14 Guest You don't think our sociology has evolved? What about everything about sociology evolves with every bit of information and misinformation?

1:24:23 Adam Here's the thing. Guys...

1:24:24 Guest Everybody says that.

1:24:25 Adam Guys...

1:24:26 Guest Like you can't think before you spawn.

1:24:27 Adam Guys have...

1:24:29 Drew But the experience will change you.

1:24:30 Adam All right, let's try to get back here for a second. Guys have that built into them, that sort of... I need my space, I need my autonomy.

1:24:40 Guest The plan of the cave bear.

1:24:41 Drew Testosterone causes a need to, for independence, for isolation.

1:24:45 Adam Now, the good news is, is I can stay in a relationship, I can be monogamous, I can not cheat on my partner.

1:24:52 Guest We're very proud of you.

1:24:52 Drew That's the sociology part, by the way.

1:24:54 Guest That's all I'm saying. It's both.

1:24:56 Drew The sociology is what contains that. No, the sociology is beat man down into containing, being in a relationship. That's the sociology part.

1:25:05 Adam Yes. Just give me my train set in the basement, a little stack of porn down there that no one messes with, and then I can stay in it.

1:25:11 Guest That's exactly what I want.

1:25:12 Drew There's nothing more sort of evident than, say, masturbation, where no matter how you shame and frighten a man, he's going to masturbate.

1:25:19 Adam I'm doing it now. I'm doing it now.

1:25:20 Drew And a female, you raise females, we don't shame them. We encourage them. It's nice. It's normal. They're not interested. A man, no matter how you force them.

1:25:29 Guest If you think females aren't shamed, maybe you didn't grow up down south in the church.

1:25:32 Drew Yeah.

1:25:33 Guest Because there are a lot, and that is again, is socialization. You cannot take one thing away from another. It depends on who you're around, what environment you're brought up in. The south is very different. The church is very different, anywhere it is and anywhere in the world.

1:25:48 Drew Yes. But interestingly, the kids that are traumatized like that become hypersexual. They don't become less sexual, they become more sexual. So when you take a kid and you beat them up like that, they become more sexual. When a male, you try to beat them up like that, they don't become, you can't force it out of them.

1:26:04 Guest We just had someone call that said she was raped and she doesn't want to have sex anymore, so it also depends on the person.

1:26:08 Drew What you see with those people at the rape is they fluctuate, they develop a bipolar syndrome when they go between hypersexual and hyposexual.

1:26:15 Adam All right.

1:26:15 Drew This is the fact.

1:26:16 Adam Hyper and hypo, really?

1:26:18 Guest It's like a maser and a laser.

1:26:19 Drew These are clinical facts. These are not opinions.

1:26:22 Adam These are facts. Oh, Drew, you and your clinical facts. All right, but listen. Yeah, we say hyper and hypo.

1:26:29 Drew Bipolar.

1:26:29 Adam Yeah, I don't like that.

1:26:30 Drew All right.

1:26:31 Adam Well, it's like micro and macro. They shouldn't mean totally different things.

1:26:36 Guest What, just have four letters the same?

1:26:39 Adam Yeah.

1:26:39 Drew Micro and flume.

1:26:40 Adam Yeah. Well, flume means something else. But we'll take a quick break.

1:26:43 Guest What about damp and wet? Isn't damp wet?

1:26:45 Adam We'll take a...

1:26:45 Caller Damp is wet.

1:26:46 Adam All right. Let's keep going. I'm getting damp.

1:26:48 Guest It's hot in here.

1:26:49 Adam We'll take a break. We'll be back after this.

1:27:06 Guest Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

1:27:07 Adam I'm Adam Nance, Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E. Michael Weatherly in here tonight, Pauley Perrette in here tonight from NCIS, which is on Tuesday night, CBS, eight o'clock. Drew.

1:27:21 Drew And tonight, as in every night this week, we're giving away an iPod Nano. And tonight, it's going to Lisa from Citrus Heights. She is 19.

1:27:28 Guest Yay, Lisa!

1:27:30 Drew She's gonna love this thing.

1:27:31 Adam So, Lisa, you have 11 minutes and 13 seconds to claim this baby. Otherwise, it's going home with me. That's not worth it.

1:27:40 Guest Go, Lisa, go, go, go!

1:27:41 Guest It has a vibrate function, too, Lisa. You're gonna find this thing is really fascinating.

1:27:45 Guest He's lying to you.

1:27:45 Drew I think Anne's got it.

1:27:47 Adam Oh, okay.

1:27:47 Drew It's on route.

1:27:49 Caller All right, all right.

1:27:50 Adam So, God bless, Lisa. Vanessa?

1:27:52 Caller Yeah.

1:27:53 Adam You're 18?

1:27:54 Caller Yeah.

1:27:55 Adam What's up?

1:27:57 Caller I have a question that I hope you guys can answer. All right, here we go. Okay. Well, I just recently broke up with my boyfriend and he didn't necessarily want to be with me while we were together. We were living together and everything and he was cheating on me, but I still stayed with him. He was an alcoholic and he would like verbally abuse me. And I still...

1:28:24 Drew How old was he?

1:28:25 Adam Well, you're 18. You have to gut it out. When you're with a verbally abusive alcoholic, you just gotta gut it out.

1:28:31 Caller He was 25.

1:28:33 Drew All right. So your dad was an alcoholic.

1:28:34 Guest Where's your dad?

1:28:36 Caller I'm in prison.

1:28:38 Drew He's in prison. Did he abuse you?

1:28:40 Caller When I was younger, yes. Right.

1:28:42 Drew Was he an alcoholic too?

1:28:44 Caller No, he wasn't.

1:28:45 Drew He was a drug addict.

1:28:46 Adam He did something.

1:28:47 Drew He was a drug addict. This is the pattern, Vanessa. When you have an alcoholic addicted abuse of male as a father, that's who you look for for your partners, particularly when you're as a young adult as you are.

1:28:57 Adam What's he in for some sort of white collar crimes or some junk bond training, something to do with the Rico Act?

1:29:03 Drew Or sexually abusing Vanessa.

1:29:04 Adam What's he in for?

1:29:06 Caller A assault and battery against an officer.

1:29:08 Drew Oh, nice.

1:29:09 Adam Battery against an officer, but he had to have a nice long list of priors before that, I'm sure.

1:29:15 Caller Oh yeah, I mean he was in the same...

1:29:17 Adam I mean, you get battery against an officer when an officer's trying to take you in for something else.

1:29:22 Caller Yeah, well I'm not sure because I haven't seen him since I was about a year and a half.

1:29:26 Adam All right, well now you got another criminal to shack up with.

1:29:30 Drew Right, stop shacking up with him.

1:29:31 Guest Let's stop playing, baby.

1:29:32 Drew Come on now. You've got to break this pattern, you've got to.

1:29:34 Guest We're pulling for you, Vanessa.

1:29:36 Adam How about it? Break up with this guy and go be on your own for a little while.

1:29:42 Drew If you can't do that, how about some Al-Anon or Alateen and go with a group of people who've had alcoholic addict parents like yourself, oftentimes with trauma histories, get a sponsor, work the steps, it's free, get some support, learn to sort of tolerate relationships with people who actually appreciate where you're at and who love you for who you are and experience you as a whole person rather than continuing this dance with abusive egg holes.

1:30:05 Caller Well, we did break up, but the thing is, like, it's calling me.

1:30:09 Adam All right. Well, don't answer the phone.

1:30:12 Guest You have the power to change the channel.

1:30:14 Guest Block his number.

1:30:14 Adam Don't get pregnant. That's the key.

1:30:17 Guest Oh, that is the key.

1:30:18 Guest By anybody, every time.

1:30:19 Adam No, it's the key for everyone, yes.

1:30:21 Caller Oh, well, he can't have kids, so.

1:30:24 Drew Why?

1:30:26 Caller I have no idea. I never asked him.

1:30:28 Drew Well, assume he can.

1:30:29 Guest Yeah, don't believe that. Don't believe that. Why would that be true if nothing else is true?

1:30:34 Adam How do you know he can't have kids?

1:30:37 Drew You tried.

1:30:38 Guest No, no, no, no, no. Trying and not succeeding a couple of times, right? Fellas does not mean anything. That does not have a guy tells you that. No, he's a, you know, he's a liar. Why would he tell the truth about that?

1:30:51 Adam Vanessa, I want you incarcerated for trying, by the way.

1:30:56 Guest Yeah, what are you thinking?

1:30:57 Adam Because you and your kind do more damage to the society than anything. You know, we sit around worrying about terrorists all day long. Meanwhile, you're cranking out kids with guys like this, and it's a cancer that's growing from within. Don't worry about the borders. Don't worry about who's coming over here. Terrorists come over, they just get a couple of hundred, couple of thousand people. This, this is tearing away at the infrastructure of this country, because this kid is gonna be a mess, whether it's a guy or a girl.

1:31:28 Guest What does Vanessa do?

1:31:30 Drew For a living?

1:31:30 Guest Yes, Vanessa's 18. But I mean, is she in school? Is she?

1:31:34 Caller Well, I'm attending a training school.

1:31:38 Adam Good, I like that. What are you learning from there?

1:31:41 Guest Forensics. What?

1:31:43 Caller Medical assisting.

1:31:44 Adam Good. Specific. Good. Keep with that. And if you have a kid, you can't go through with that dream. You understand?

1:31:52 Guest Yeah, but you know, help people who are in medical pain that you can help and do something good for. Don't help some loser who's lying to you. You know?

1:32:01 Caller I mean, not only, like, do I need help, but I know he needs help more.

1:32:06 Guest You're gonna help him. You're in the medical. You're going in the medical profession. You're a helper. Don't help that guy.

1:32:10 Drew Go to Al-Anon, my dear. Just go to Al-Anon. You're severely codependent. Bad boundary problems. This can handle that.

1:32:17 Adam Here's what we need to do, too. We need to go throughout the prison. Like, when I'm in charge, I'm just gonna go to every prison, call every guy out in the yard. Okay, who's got kids? What do you got? I got a daughter. How old is she? She's 11. Okay, good. We can get to her now. How old's your daughter? She's 19. Okay, she's passed. We can't help her. Get the Knorr plant in the 11-year-old. Get the other dart for the 19-year-old. What do you got? You got a son. Yeah, how old is he? He's 18. Get the dart gun. He's gay!

1:32:44 Caller Okay.

1:32:45 Adam That was like the governor calling with a reprieve. We'll spare him. Who do you got? I got three boys. All right, I'm gonna put you down, by the way. And then we're gonna go after the three sons.

1:32:54 Guest That's what it is.

1:32:55 Adam Because this is the next wave of junkies, the next wave of criminals, the next wave of unwanted people, the next wave of junior college students. Yes, I know I'm being harsh to these kids now. This is the next wave, everyone. Let's focus on it. Let's not pretend it doesn't exist. Please.

1:33:13 Guest Is she still there?

1:33:14 Drew No, she's gone.

1:33:16 Adam She's getting laid right now. Before you guys on top of her. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Well, that's it. Thank Pauley, Michael for coming in here from NCIS. Tuesday Nights. CBS. Eight o'clock continued success to the show and to you guys.

1:33:56 Guest We are going to have so much fun telling Mark Harmon what we did tonight.

1:34:00 Adam Emily Proctor is coming in here from CSI Miami.

1:34:03 Guest She's got issues too. Good luck.

1:34:04 Drew All CSI week.

1:34:05 Adam We will get you.

1:34:08 Guest I don't know her.

1:34:08 Guest He has no idea what she is.

1:34:11 Adam We'll take a little extendo break. And until next time, Sam Crawford, Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:34:17 Guest This has been Loveline.

1:34:21 Guest The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station.

1:34:29 Guest The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, September 25, 2005