Episode 1000724338226

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised.

1:14 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:17 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. And tonight, we're excited to have Dave Matthews and Boyd Tinsley, both from the Dave Matthews Band. And it's too bad the show had to interrupt the provocative conversation we were having before the show.

1:41 Dave Matthews Band Prison. It was a good chat.

1:43 Drew It was hell and heaven and hell, I think, was where we were going.

1:45 Adam Nice chat about the joint. I like the guys because they smell like patchouli and they laugh at my jokes. So we're good already. A huge following Dave Matthews Band has. And we don't normally get a lot of big bands in here. Well, not a lot, but we get a couple of big bands in here. And Drew, don't fiddle with that thing. You're going to try to open that thing for the next 20 minutes. Put the CD down. Come on, buddy.

2:10 Drew It's distracting.

2:10 Dave Matthews Band You got one open, though.

2:11 Adam It distracts me because it's like watching a retarded guy play with a Rubik's Cube. You know what I mean? It just pulls my attention to you.

2:19 Dave Matthews Band That's the most fun I have with a Rubik's Cube is just keep turning it. I don't really have a goal. It's just fun to fiddle.

2:24 Adam I have my assistant do mine and then give it back to me and I feel good about myself.

2:28 Drew But he can't be doing anything else while the assistant's doing that.

2:31 Adam Okay, Drew, don't get better. Point is, a ton of people out here to see Dave Matthews Band tonight, and it just made me think what a dedicated following Dave Matthews Band has and what a sincere compliment that is to you guys.

2:46 Dave Matthews Band Yeah, we're lucky we got an audience that doesn't get sick of us. The way I get sick of us.

2:53 Drew The problem is Dave is sick of himself. You were talking to me earlier. He is over himself. He can't stand himself. Really? It's not even just his image that bothers him. He went away to Africa, went to Senegal, but he went.

3:05 Dave Matthews Band Right.

3:05 Drew So it was a mess.

3:06 Dave Matthews Band Trying to escape me is really difficult for me.

3:10 Adam Yeah, I was just thinking, the lowest you could go with this is hating to taste your own spit or not enjoying your own gas.

3:19 Dave Matthews Band That's why I smoke, you know, cigarettes to change the flavor of my spit.

3:24 Drew But he's still into the gas.

3:24 Adam He's still into the gas?

3:26 Drew Yeah.

3:26 Dave Matthews Band I don't mind the gas so much, because it never ceases to amaze me.

3:31 Drew You, thank goodness.

3:32 Adam Yeah.

3:33 It's ever evolving, too.

3:35 Dave Matthews Band Yeah, that's the one where I wonder whether it was me.

3:38 Adam Dave was telling me during the break that his farts were like snowflakes. No two are the same. There you go. All different.

3:46 Drew And he has four-year-old twins. Both boys?

3:49 Dave Matthews Band No, both girls. Both girls. How do I get them all? Because we didn't mention. Yeah. But the one thing, you expect a series of expulsions, of gas expulsions, you expect the ones nearest each other to be most similar.

4:08 Drew Right.

4:08 Dave Matthews Band But I've discovered that mine are spread, so there may be between one and five in a series.

4:14 Drew To come around.

4:15 Dave Matthews Band Yeah. At the end of five, maybe I'll go back to something which is interesting. Right. I must have like a dryer in my stomach.

4:22 Adam Yeah.

4:22 Dave Matthews Band It's like, oh, it's a pink blouse. No, it's undies. What is that?

4:28 Adam I think it's a fart. Yeah. Well, you're an artist, Dave. I think even your lower intestine is also blessed with that same artistic ability. Boyd plays the violin in the band. I don't like watching people play classical violin, but I like it when they're rocking with the violin because it's a non-rock instrument. So when you're rocking on a non-rock instrument, it's like when a guy is driving a crappy car fast. It just looks cool sideways in the chevette.

5:03 Dave Matthews Band Yeah.

5:03 Adam It's got a full drift. You know that feeling?

5:06 Dave Matthews Band Dangerous.

5:07 Adam I don't mean that as a compliment, but it's dangerous.

5:10 No, thanks, man. No, it's cool, man. There's actually a lot of back in the 30s and 40s, there were a lot of jazz violin players. There were? Black jazz violin players that played a lot of swing and stuff. Really? Yeah, like country blues and jazz, and that led to people like Papa John Creech to play with Jefferson Airplane, and people like Jean-Luc Pontier to play with Fusion.

5:32 Drew There was that famous guy, the old swing and old Opry, right? This is who you're talking about? Famous African-American black.

5:38 I do know you told me, I can't remember his name.

5:39 Drew Yeah, I can't remember his name either.

5:40 Yeah, but there's a whole tradition of that, but it's really awesome to have this opportunity. I always wanted to be an electric guitar player and jam that way, but they didn't have that at my school, so I opted for it. I was classically trained. I took lessons as a kid from like 11 on and played in orchestras and played classical music and I just needed to rock.

6:01 Dave Matthews Band Well, I don't look at it anymore because now I had a friend of mine, Soros, play, hadn't seen us play, a friend of mine from when I was growing up, and BT has a really aggressive looking, he's aggressive generally when he's playing, but then he opens his mouth real wide and his teeth are right out there, teeth. My friend's reaction when I said, did you enjoy the show? He said, yeah, but I'd hate to be bitten by Boyd Tinsley. It's quite a mouthful of teeth he's got there.

6:26 Adam He could crush a Yax femur, that thing.

6:30 Dave Matthews Band I was thinking of that just before you said that.

6:32 Adam Yax femur?

6:32 Drew Yax femur. David's from South Africa, speaking of Yax.

6:35 Adam Oh, I forgot about that.

6:37 Dave Matthews Band But the Yaks aren't in Africa.

6:39 Drew He just saw a concert, and this is an opportunity for you to ask somebody with that accent, why they put the Rs when they don't belong.

6:48 Dave Matthews Band The one place I put it on.

6:50 Drew How would you say water?

6:51 Dave Matthews Band Water.

6:52 Adam Okay, you say water. Say, I had an English girlfriend who would say, water, and then she put the A where the R was. But when she would say like spa, like health spa, she would say spar. Spar, yeah. It's like, there's your A, use it baby. She's like, no, I'm going to use the R I got from water, and check it on the end of spa, and I say, okay, look, now you're just pissing me off.

7:16 Dave Matthews Band No, I got the R in sore from New York. Sore. Yeah, I spent as I grew up a little bit. The only thing I kept of my New York accent was sore. So I sore it over there. I can't stop it.

7:26 Adam You started off in South, you're born in South Africa. And then you moved to New York?

7:31 Dave Matthews Band Yeah.

7:31 Adam When you were how old?

7:32 Dave Matthews Band Two, and then went back to South Africa when I was 12. Wow.

7:35 Adam What did your dad do?

7:36 Dave Matthews Band He was a physicist. He was a physicist and then he was dead. And then we moved back to South Africa.

7:44 Adam Because after he passed away.

7:45 Yeah.

7:46 Dave Matthews Band And then we were there and then we didn't we weren't feeling it over there.

7:49 Drew Is your mom back here?

7:51 Dave Matthews Band So all South Africa.

7:52 Everyone.

7:52 Dave Matthews Band The whole family, the whole bunch.

7:54 Adam And did you get, do you, but where do you live?

7:57 Dave Matthews Band I live in Seattle and in Virginia.

8:00 Adam And do you get back and forth to South Africa?

8:02 Dave Matthews Band I go back quite a bit. I've been back there a few times. I'm going in September.

8:07 Adam And Boyd, are you from anywhere funky?

8:09 I'm from, it's funky, but it's Virginia. I'm from Charlottesville, Virginia, man.

8:14 Adam Where?

8:14 Charlottesville, Virginia.

8:16 Drew That's where the Thomas Jefferson guy is.

8:18 Yeah.

8:18 Adam Yeah. If you saw Dave and you saw Boyd and you said one of them is from South Africa and the other one is from Virginia, you'd probably win that bet almost every time.

8:27 Drew You know what I mean?

8:29 Yeah.

8:29 Dave Matthews Band But you know, but oddly, having been in South Africa, BT would be a pretty unusual looking South African. He would.

8:36 Yeah.

8:37 Dave Matthews Band But he wouldn't look that unusual, say, in Senegal.

8:40 Adam You know, people might go, I just open his mouth, just going to crap out all the locals.

8:45 Dave Matthews Band Show his teeth.

8:46 Adam Show those insides.

8:48 Dave Matthews Band Play the violin and send them all screaming.

8:50 Adam Yeah. Here's the thing too. I don't know. What about all those other pussy violinists, like the one Shania Twain has? You make fun of them, right? Those guys, little skinny guys playing their electric blue violins.

9:04 Caller You don't go for that crap, do you?

9:06 Caller Oh my God. They aren't real violin players, right? They do their thing, man. There's a whole, I mean, there's a lot of guys who go there and play.

9:15 Caller A place for everybody.

9:16 Adam Yeah. You know what that's equivalent of? That's equivalent of when you repeat the guy's name, when you don't want to say anything bad about him, when you go, Dave's a great guy, great sense of humor, great musician, Boyd, man, outgoing personality, Drew. Drew's Drew.

9:31 Dave Matthews Band Oh, I see that's nice. I was going to, yeah.

9:33 Adam Yeah, you say that when you want, you mean a hole or untalented or whatever, but somebody's listening and you just, you can't muster anything to say. They always do that when they interview actors. They're always like, working with Al Pacino, what's that like? You know Al, I mean, he's Al. He's a hole, he's a hole. That's how you know a hole. They just say the guy's name twice, that's how you know.

9:58 Dave Matthews Band All right?

9:58 Adam That's what I just heard Boyd saying about this tonight.

10:01 Dave Matthews Band I heard it.

10:03 Drew Those guys are doing their own things. They're playing the violin.

10:06 Adam You know, everything's got its own place. World needs roaches, termites, and maggots, all God's creatures.

10:15 Dave Matthews Band Maggots.

10:15 Adam I heard that. Okay. Let's take some phone calls and really.

10:21 Dave Matthews Band It's desperately close to a, to a, to a, to a, to a, there you go. Aborting silence.

10:27 Adam There you go.

10:28 Drew What are you gonna do?

10:28 Caller Mark? Yeah.

10:30 Adam Is it your name? Your name's not Mark, is it?

10:33 Caller Yes, it is.

10:34 Adam All right.

10:34 Caller My parents are big Mark and Mindy fans, yeah.

10:37 Adam Yeah. You would have been better off being named Mindy as a dude. Absolutely. Than Mark.

10:41 Caller Thank you.

10:42 Adam But go ahead, Nanu, Nanu.

10:43 Caller Maybe Mark or something. I don't know. Some of my friends call me Mark, because I think they get confused, but.

10:47 Drew This is a chance, by the way. This is a guy that should change his name. We always chastise people for doing that.

10:52 Adam Yeah.

10:53 Drew If your parents give you just a retarded name, go ahead and change it.

10:56 Adam Yeah.

10:56 Drew Make it Mark. That's fine.

10:57 Dave Matthews Band Mark, yeah.

10:58 Adam Yeah. Or Ann Sue, then.

11:00 Dave Matthews Band I kind of like Mork, though. I like that a little bit.

11:02 Adam Mork. Mork. Mork. Mork.

11:05 Dave Matthews Band I'm down with your name, Mork.

11:06 Adam What's happening, Mork?

11:07 Dave Matthews Band What's my name, Mork?

11:10 Caller Well, the problem is my brother came up to me about a few weeks ago, about a month ago, and he told me, I guess, in a serious tone, that he was gay, and that he had gay tendencies, and at first I thought he was joking, but he was like saying that he was serious.

11:26 Drew How old is he?

11:27 Caller He's 15, and I'm 19.

11:29 Drew What do you think prompted him to say this? Why at 15 is he declaring himself?

11:34 Caller Well, see, that's the thing. I'm like kind of confused because we've always been talking to each other for the longest time, and he always trusts me because we can tell each other things all the time. And I don't know, all of a sudden he comes out with this, and I'm just obligated to tell my parents, but I don't want to lose this trust of being able to talk to me and keep secrets.

11:55 Adam I don't know. Why are you calling us? Yeah, why are you calling us? It feels bogus.

11:58 Drew Yeah, there's no question here.

12:00 Dave Matthews Band You don't have to tell your parents?

12:01 Caller Well, what should I do?

12:03 Adam No, no, no question. That's zero question, dork. Yeah, bogus.

12:11 Caller Should I tell my... No, the question is, should I tell my parents or should I...

12:14 Adam No, no.

12:15 Caller Tell your parents you're gay.

12:16 Adam Yeah. Well, yeah, why should you tell your parents? Why would you tell your parents if he said he was straight?

12:21 Caller Because maybe he's like crazy or something. I don't want my brother to be gay. I'm worried about him. All right.

12:27 Adam That's bogus. That's bogus. By the way, what's he calling him? From the 50s?

12:31 Drew Yeah.

12:32 Adam He's got a disease. You got to bleed him.

12:34 Drew Right.

12:34 Adam You can put a leech on his penis, suck the gayness out of him. Wow.

12:38 Dave Matthews Band I wonder if that wouldn't even work really.

12:41 Adam Yeah, but it's worth a try. It sure as hell would be where it couldn't hurt.

12:44 Dave Matthews Band More could try it on his penis and see if it sucks the straight out of him.

12:47 All right.

12:50 Adam Suck the straight out of him would be good name for another Dave Matthews CD.

12:53 Caller Suck the straight out of him.

12:56 Dave Matthews Band Yeah, I'm sick of me.

12:56 Adam There's all this like we're going to rock you and all that stuff, but sucking the straight out of an audience, that's rocking them.

13:02 Dave Matthews Band Yeah, they're going to be. Frat Boys are going to be making out with Frat Boys by the end of every show.

13:06 Adam You guys are all going gay.

13:08 Dave Matthews Band We're like a giant avalanche of leeches on your straight penises.

13:11 Adam Coming dockers leaving chaps. That's what it says up front of the arena. Yes.

13:18 Drew If you feel compelled to help your brother get some support, don't even go back to him.

13:22 Adam I don't want to talk to him.

13:23 Drew The deal is Gay Lesbian Youth Centers and that kind of thing.

13:27 Adam They have them all over the place.

13:28 Drew If he's otherwise confused or acting out, then get him to professional help.

13:32 Adam Greg.

13:33 Caller All right. What's up, fellas?

13:35 Adam 21. You have a question for the band?

13:36 Caller Yes, I do. Dave, you're the man, dude. You guys rock Boyd. You got to be the most yoked violin player I've ever seen.

13:44 Dave Matthews Band Yoked?

13:46 Caller Yoked, buff, ripped. Dave, dude, is Tim Reynolds going to be at all on this tour?

13:52 Dave Matthews Band Well, I'm always playing with Tim, but he's doing his own thing a lot of the time too. So I don't think we have any plans for, he's not going to come out on any of the shows with the band as far as I know. But I know that he and I are going to play a show in Vegas together. Really? Yeah, in September. I don't know. Don't ask me the date. I don't know what date it is. Anyway, Tim and I have a thing that we've had for years and it's a lot of fun and I don't want to necessarily talk to Mork about it, but it's a lot of fun to play with him.

14:23 Drew So certainly, it will be.

14:27 Dave Matthews Band Yeah, it's a lot of fun and it's a friendship and we have a good partnership.

14:36 Caller Another thing, the storytellers you guys did together, is that on DVD? Is that possible to get to or what?

14:44 Dave Matthews Band Oh, I have no idea. I really don't have any idea, but I'm sure you could find it somewhere. Someone has it somewhere. It's got to be somewhere. Someone must have put it on VHS.

14:52 Adam You have a computer, right?

14:53 Dave Matthews Band You could look on a computer and find out that there's Dave and Tim.

14:57 Adam There's nothing. If it exists, it will be there, especially if it has anything to do with music, like Dave Matthews or any pop culture thing. All right. Let's play a little Germany or Florida. Let me explain how Germany or Florida is played. I discovered when I was sitting at the writer's table at Jimmy Kimmel Live for a couple of years that all bizarre stories emanate from either Germany or Florida. Now, not your run of the mill bizarre, but the one where the guy cuts his toes off and cooks him up and then eats his own feet.

15:28 Dave Matthews Band That sounds German.

15:29 Drew Yeah, that is German.

15:30 Dave Matthews Band That's German.

15:31 Adam That's very German.

15:32 Drew Those Germans, the other hand, the guys with the shotguns and the marshes and...

15:36 Adam Yeah.

15:36 Dave Matthews Band That sounds like Florida.

15:38 Adam Yeah, but Drew, he bets that that's why you have to play Germany or Florida because it doesn't always involve a Prussian helmet or a marsh.

15:44 Drew Right, they don't tip you off necessarily.

15:45 Caller They don't tip you off.

15:46 Caller This is a fun game.

15:48 Adam People, it's all scintillating. People call in and they tell us a story.

15:53 Drew And lately, they've been kicking my ass, particularly.

15:56 Adam We have to guess, is it Germany or Florida, Justin?

15:58 Things are sick and twisted.

16:00 Caller From two messes on the Nazis, sex, meth, and death fetishes.

16:03 Both of them have got these.

16:05 Guaranteed not to bore you.

16:06 Caller Germany or Florida.

16:08 Adam That's solid, but why don't you play David Allen Grier's version, because maybe Dave want to sign him up for the band or at least have him sit in and jam.

16:22 Caller Is it Germany or Florida? Hey, Germany or Florida?

16:34 Caller Big ending, we got to listen.

16:35 Caller Let's find out.

16:42 Drew I'm always embarrassed for Dave when I hear that.

16:47 Caller That was pretty good.

16:48 Adam Yeah, that was pretty solid. I like the big, I like the big crescendo at the end. All right, Justin, Germany or Florida? Go ahead.

16:54 What's up, fellas? Adam Drew, you guys are geniuses. And Adam, I love your new show on Comedy Central.

16:59 Adam Thank you.

17:00 Boyd and Dave, man, you guys are the best. I can't say enough about you guys, man. You guys are, you guys make unbelievable music, and it means a lot to so many people. So thanks, man. I just want to tell you guys thanks for everything.

17:10 Dave Matthews Band Thank you. Because I was for a moment there when you said nice things about Dr. Drew and Adam, then I was for a little, I was a little bit nervous. All of a sudden, maybe you're going to say, you guys, I'm so over you guys. And then, but I'm glad that you didn't say that even if that's what you feel inside.

17:23 Decided for Red Rocks coming up, guys. It's going to rock.

17:25 Dave Matthews Band Oh, Red Rocks.

17:26 Drew Oh, you want to get some more tour dates?

17:28 Adam Yeah, well, hold on a second. Let him get to Germany or Florida. He's never going to do it.

17:31 All right, here we go. Germany or Florida. The headline is Retiree Attacks Woman Over Poolside Chair. A local elderly gentleman grew so attached to a poolside deck chair that he attacked a woman who moved his towel to another lounger. When the 76-year-old pensioner returned to his favorite spot at the pool, he was enraged to find the woman had moved his towel to an unoccupied lounger so she could lie down next to her mother. When abusive language failed to shift the woman from his chair, the furious senior citizen got physical. He tipped the chair over and hit her with it, the spokesman said. He couldn't believe he went so far over a spot next to the pool. Germany or Florida.

18:12 Drew Well, now here's the deal.

18:13 Dave Matthews Band The thing is, it's obvious here is that it's poolside and it's elderly people, so the immediate assumption is... I mean, this isn't a question for me, this is for you.

18:22 Adam No, it is.

18:22 Drew You're in the game, too.

18:23 Adam We've gotten burned a few times lately with this, but then you want to...

18:28 Drew Here's the deal. So we go, okay, it's got to be Florida, but the game is to try to trick us, so maybe it's Germany, but then lately we've been doing that and it's been the other.

18:36 Adam Right. It's like when your sister, your brother, when you're a kid would say like, you'd go, I want this bed and they go, oh, okay, take that bed and you'd go, wait a minute. Now, why are they doing that?

18:50 Drew Right, it's too easy.

18:50 Adam You get inside your own head and you start freaking out. Drew, you're all up in your head, you're a mess.

18:54 Drew I know, and I have to say Florida because I got to stay consistent. It's like a run on poker where you're just losing, losing, losing.

19:01 Adam You still got to play. All right, so what are you going with, Drew?

19:04 Drew Germany. Florida.

19:07 Adam Drew pretends like there's something at stake here. You're going Florida?

19:10 Drew Florida.

19:10 Dave Matthews Band Dave? I'm going to go Germany.

19:13 Adam Wow.

19:14 Dave Matthews Band I'm going Germany. I don't know it seems stupid, but I'm going to go.

19:16 Drew No, it doesn't seem stupid because he seems to be pulling on it.

19:19 Adam It's crazy like a fox. It is.

19:21 Drew Unless it's Boyd.

19:23 Caller I got to go with Germany on this.

19:24 Adam Wow. See how the band is? They're tight. They're probably right.

19:27 Drew They're intuitive.

19:28 Adam I'm going Florida.

19:29 Drew I think you guys got us. I don't think so.

19:32 Adam Justin, is it Germany or Florida?

19:34 Caller Well, you know the Dave Matthews band has got you guys licked on this one. It's Berlin, Germany.

19:40 Adam God.

19:44 Dave Matthews Band If you said Berlin, you see, if you said Berlin or Florida, then I think everyone would have got it.

19:51 Adam Yeah.

19:52 Drew Adam, we got two of the world a more. We're two. There's a little box.

19:55 Adam Don't talk anymore, Drew. I'm really like, I got it. We got to just play a song.

19:59 Drew Yeah.

20:00 Adam I got to collect myself. That game again. Let me explain something. In my business, the only thing I have is my confidence. That's the only thing I take on stage.

20:07 Drew You understand?

20:08 Adam And if I have no confidence, I'm no longer a moneymaker. I can no longer do my job.

20:12 Dave Matthews Band I'm borrowing your confidence tonight, actually.

20:14 Drew You stole it.

20:15 Adam You raped it. You shoved it back up my ass. But you didn't borrow it.

20:18 Dave Matthews Band That was the best part of the whole thing, was you had to re-deposit it.

20:22 Adam My confidence is taking a right path right now. Dave's DNA all over it.

20:27 Caller Yeah, you can say, I like these apples. Yeah.

20:31 Adam All right. I'm going to go loofa down my confidence.

20:34 Drew And take an enema or something.

20:35 Adam Yeah. Give it a coffee enema. We're going to hear a little something from Dave Matthews Band. You queued up there, Michelle.

20:43 Drew Yeah. Ready to go?

20:45 Adam This one. Thank you, Drew. It's called Dream Girl.

20:48 Dave Matthews Band Oh, Scooby Doo.

20:50 Adam Then you wouldn't be right.

20:51 Dave Matthews Band Almost ready.

20:53 Adam Let's keep talking.

20:54 Dave Matthews Band Sounds like the beginning of it.

20:55 Drew All right. She's ready.

20:56 Adam Ready?

20:56 Caller Yeah.

20:57 Adam Dave Matthews, Dream Girl.

21:02 Dave Matthews Band That's not Dream Girl.

21:05 Drew You want to play it?

21:07 Caller I'm just kidding.

24:24 Adam A little something from the Dave Matthews Band, Boyd and Dave are both here. The guys are going to be playing at the Home Depot Center this Saturday and Sunday. Probably sold out.

24:34 Dave Matthews Band No, you know, this year, this is weird. Now, I'm not the only one that's over me.

24:39 Adam Oh, really?

24:39 Dave Matthews Band Because apparently Los Angeles, people in Los Angeles are just, maybe they're just not going to shows so much nowadays, or maybe it's a money thing.

24:49 Adam Is it a Los Angeles thing, exclusively?

24:52 Dave Matthews Band Exclusively.

24:54 Drew It may cost too much gas to get from one place to another here.

24:56 Dave Matthews Band Oh, that's where it's gassed.

24:57 Adam We try not to support the arts out here, number one. Number two, everyone from Los Angeles is from Korea and Mexico. I mean, there's no, we don't, there's not-

25:05 Dave Matthews Band I was walking around, I wanted to ask somebody, but I didn't know if they spoke English.

25:08 Caller Yeah, there ain't nobody out here.

25:09 Adam No, no, they're big into, like, Jaguars, but they're into Dave Matthews. We're the only two white guys from LA.

25:17 Dave Matthews Band That's what, yeah, I did feel like I was on a little island when I walked into this, too.

25:21 Adam Oh, you are.

25:21 Dave Matthews Band This is like old LA here.

25:23 Adam Yeah, no, I'm trying to, here's how you need to know. Every time you miss dial a phone number, you just got to, and you're like, what? I didn't understand what you're saying. So if you call a number and get the wrong number, you'll get a crazy nationality. That's how you know your city is populated with crazy nationalities because every time someone else picks up the phone, it's a crazy nationality.

25:44 Drew It's not English.

25:44 Adam Drew, go dial a wrong number right now. If you did it in this area, could I teach you a crazy? Oh, we did. That's right. Hello. Sorry, baby. We're talking about her people. Julia Roberts is in the video that we just heard the song from?

25:59 Dave Matthews Band Yeah. She called us up and said, can I be in a video with you guys?

26:05 Adam Yeah.

26:05 Dave Matthews Band My career is on the-

26:07 Adam Yeah. She's on a lot. I've been on the skids ever since Mystic Pizza. I've heard Hiner Hair from her.

26:13 Dave Matthews Band Yeah.

26:13 Adam Exactly. We thought, what the hell? I saw something on Entertainment Tonight about it, and every time they refer to Julia Roberts, they always go, the pretty woman is on the set of the Dave Matthews, and I thought, I got to do a movie called Hung Dude or something good. So I can constantly, Julia Roberts, she'd be in her 70s and dragging her labia around and be like, the pretty woman was seen outside of, you just get called pretty because you did a movie 12 years ago called Pretty Woman. Know what I'm saying? Got to work that out Drew, find my movie.

26:45 Dave Matthews Band They called Hung Dude, find the script.

26:48 Drew Hung like Lois.

26:49 Adam The Hung Dude was on the set of his new TV show. Yeah. We will take ourselves a quick break. Dave Matthews here tonight, Boyd here tonight. We'll take a quick break, be right back after this.

27:03 Caller You have five seconds.

27:08 Caller Back in a minute.

27:09 Caller One.

27:10 Adam Heat things up with new Durex warming condoms. There's sex and then there's Durex.

27:38 Caller Hey, everybody.

27:38 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Tonight in studio, Boyd Tinsley is here as well as Dave Matthews from the Dave Matthews Band, new CD called Stand Up. And take some phone calls. The guys are going to be at the Home Depot Center this Saturday and Sunday. Out in what city is that in, Drew?

27:58 Drew Carson.

27:59 Dave Matthews Band Carson. Yeah. Yeah.

28:01 Adam And we'll give you some more, give some more tour dates where they're going to be in Chula Vista, coming up, Phoenix, Albuquerque, Selma, Selma, Texas.

28:10 Drew Give those dates.

28:11 Adam Woodland.

28:11 Drew Chula Vista 825.

28:13 Adam Go on the Internet.

28:14 Drew Phoenix 830.

28:15 Adam I'm giving you a heads up. It's coming. And it's basically in order. They're going to be in Denver, they're going to be in Boner Springs, Kansas. Where is that?

28:24 Caller Boner Springs. I just call it Boner Springs.

28:27 Dave Matthews Band I think that's what they call it there.

28:29 Adam Boner Springs is, yeah, it's like Lightning Strikes.

28:33 Drew Somebody will call from there I bet, any minute.

28:36 Adam Look, I would petition to have a change to Boner Springs instead of Bonner.

28:42 Drew Yeah, what are you going to do?

28:43 Dave Matthews Band There's a county right north of where Boyd and I live in Virginia. It's called F-County.

28:49 Adam Really? Yeah, that's solid.

28:51 Caller F-A-U-L-K.

28:52 Drew I live next to a city in college. It was A-T-H-O-L.

28:59 Adam Oh, that's solid. Yeah. There's got to be a Felschberg somewhere. Be tough if you're doing the Civil War reenactment stuff over at Felschberg. Yeah.

29:10 Drew The Siege of Felschberg.

29:10 Adam The Siege of Felschberg. A lot of good men went down. A lot of good men.

29:16 Drew The creek was turned red.

29:18 Adam The creek turned white with the blood. I mean red with the blood. Yeah. All right. There's a good place I'd like to...

29:27 Dave Matthews Band Do I make this ticket out to F*** County?

29:29 Adam I'd like to end up one day in a real place called Plenty Wood, Montana.

29:35 Drew Hey Anderson, Anderson is freaking out about this. All you have to prove is there is a place with that name.

29:39 Dave Matthews Band I spelt it. I spelt it.

29:41 Adam Come on. Give him a break. It's in a band.

29:44 Dave Matthews Band I only used it because it's spelt that way.

29:47 Drew That meet the Falkers, they had to prove that there was, they had to go to the court and prove that there was a family with that name.

29:53 Adam Oh, really?

29:53 Drew In order to get the thing on the air.

29:55 Adam It's an awesome society we live in.

29:57 Caller I'm too busy during the day to do that.

30:00 Adam As an atheist, everything's confusing to me. Everything. Jenny? Hi. You're 28. You know being an atheist is like being high on mushrooms for the first time. When I got high on mushrooms for the first time, I just sat around and looked at the world and went, Oh my God, what am I doing? What are we doing? How does this work? And then a commercial came on for Lee Press On Nails. And I saw and I was like, the women of the planet, the female species, sticks these red long plastic claws to the end of their fingers to make them more attractive to the male. Are those supposed to be bloody claws? Why red? Why so long? What does that do to the male?

30:37 Drew Plastic.

30:37 Adam And then it was a monster truck commercial came on next, big trucks, mashing small trucks.

30:41 Dave Matthews Band Get away from the TV if you're on mushrooms.

30:43 Adam I started to freak out. I was like, I realize when you get high on mushrooms, everything is novel. Everything is bizarre. You don't understand it. You don't realize how much you tune out when you're not high. You're not high. Just tune everything out and everything just goes away.

30:56 Drew Doesn't tune anything out. So I imagine how yours just went over the top.

31:00 Adam Exploded with information.

31:01 Caller Oh.

31:03 Dave Matthews Band Concentrating. Concentrating on every commercial.

31:07 Adam Being an atheist is a little bit that way. You understand?

31:13 Drew Your amygdala is on overdrive.

31:15 Adam Thank you. That means I have wood according to Drew. Jenny?

31:20 Hi.

31:21 Adam You're 28?

31:22 Caller Yeah. First, I just want to say that I love the band and I'm seeing you tomorrow night until this. I'm really excited.

31:30 Drew Your fans are still tickets.

31:31 Caller Yeah.

31:34 Caller I guess we're over you, some people too.

31:38 Caller Yeah.

31:40 Dave Matthews Band We're rubbing people the wrong way again. I'll practice my rubbing.

31:45 Caller No, but I'm not over you, so anyway. The reason I called is for Dr. Drew, I had an abortion in March and I'm wondering if that's going to affect getting pregnant in the future.

31:58 Drew It should not. How was the abortion performed?

32:01 Caller It was a medical abortion. I didn't take the pills or anything.

32:07 Drew You had a vacuum?

32:08 Caller Yeah.

32:08 Drew Okay.

32:09 Adam They don't call it a vacuum. What do they call it?

32:10 Drew They call it vacuum abortion first term.

32:11 Adam They do?

32:12 Drew Yeah. The other way is to do the pills now, the RU-46. Yeah. It should not affect your fertility. Did they not give you a contraceptive or DepoProvera or something like that afterwards?

32:23 Caller Yes. I did start taking birth control pills.

32:26 Drew Okay.

32:26 Adam Why not the abortion RU-486 versus the shop vac?

32:30 Drew They usually give them the choice. Did they give you choices?

32:34 Caller Well, they should have it too far along. The thing is, when you take the pills, there's a possibility that it might not work. That's what I was told. So I didn't really want to have to go through the vacuum after taking the pill.

32:47 Drew Right.

32:47 Adam That's a possibility. It's got to be heavy if the kid gets born because it's one thing. I think my mom wanted an abortion but didn't do it, but it's the other thing where they actually tried it and it didn't work.

32:56 Caller Yeah.

32:57 Drew It's pretty heavy.

32:57 Adam Oh, no.

32:58 Caller Yeah.

32:58 Adam No, we tried. Hell yeah, we tried.

33:01 Drew You think you had a bad childhood, huh?

33:02 Adam Yeah. Got a head shaped like a vacuum. Yeah. Hey, Amber. I mean, Jenny.

33:09 Caller All right.

33:09 Adam I'm sorry.

33:10 Caller That's okay.

33:11 Adam All right. So you'll be fine.

33:12 Caller Okay.

33:12 Drew Great.

33:13 Caller Thank you.

33:13 Drew Okay.

33:14 Adam I will see you at Dave Matthews' concert.

33:15 Caller Okay.

33:16 Adam All right. Are you okay? How are you doing emotionally?

33:20 Caller Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I mean, it was with my boyfriend who I've been in a long term relationship with, and we just decided it's not the right time. So, you know, I had this experience a few years back where I was raped. And even though I was on the pill, I went to Planned Parenthood and got the morning after pill, because, like, I just, God forbid, if I'd had a pregnancy out of it. So I do try and be really careful. And I know that you guys are really big advocates for not bringing kids into this world.

33:46 Adam Well, we don't mind you, actually. We're talking about the 16-year-old white trash junkies that call the show.

33:52 Drew Strangely, you're the one we like to bring the kid in.

33:54 Adam The ones that are worried about what kind of parent they would be, we don't mind them being parents, ironically. It's the ones that think they're great parents because they love their kid.

34:03 Drew Yeah.

34:03 Adam That's the whole thing. It's like you're 16, the kid's sleeping on a futon on the porch. You're not a good parent. I love my kid.

34:13 Drew I'm a great mom.

34:14 Adam I think that bad parents love their kids more in a weird way.

34:18 Drew Yeah.

34:19 Adam Your parents were good parents, but I don't think they'd admit to loving you. I couldn't imagine.

34:24 Drew You blame them.

34:25 Adam What do you think of Drew? It's okay. First answer, who's Drew? Second, your son. Third, he's all right.

34:32 Drew He's all right.

34:32 Adam Yeah. I think about five. Yeah. All right. Hey, do you guys, I don't know what they have in South Africa. They have that morning after pill? Not the abortion pill, the morning after pill.

34:43 Dave Matthews Band They have everything.

34:44 Drew Everybody has everything except us. Give me a break. Are you kidding, Adam?

34:48 Adam Yeah.

34:48 Drew Everybody has everything except this GD country.

34:53 Adam Why? Religious? Is that what's going on?

34:56 Dave Matthews Band There's a more prevalent, more outspoken, I think.

35:02 Drew Whenever I have done interviews with international press, or international camera crews or whatever, and I'll ask them, what do you find different about what you hear at this country? They'll always say the same thing. That in this country, when they do interviews, God comes up within about two minutes, and nowhere else in the world does that happen.

35:18 Adam Right. Yeah. If you count athletes, it's about two seconds.

35:23 Dave Matthews Band Yeah. Actually, if you want to be slammed by the press, I have certainly heard this about the UK, is that if a politician wants to be slammed by the press, they mention God in a speech or an interview, and then the press just goes, what is your problem? You know, I mean, I know that might offend a lot.

35:44 Drew Here's the opposite.

35:45 Dave Matthews Band Yeah. Every politician in America tries to get God in every conversation they can.

35:50 Adam I know. It's like a running partner or something.

35:52 Dave Matthews Band Exactly.

35:52 Adam It's endorsed by God.

35:53 Dave Matthews Band Yeah. God is on your side. Well, God's, you know. Yeah, he's a Republican. He's taking one side. He likes a good fight. God apparently is a, he really likes a good battle.

36:01 Adam You know what it is is we just got to.

36:03 Dave Matthews Band Sucker punch.

36:04 Adam You got to invoke the name of the Lord and everyone leaves you alone. Because people are like, you swore you'd never do this again or you said you were never coming out of retirement. What happened? Well, God told me to come back. Oh, everyone's like, oh, OK.

36:15 Dave Matthews Band It is convenient because you could be, you could have almost the cleanest slate in the world and be somewhat liberal and maybe question the existence of God. And you'd be open to ridicule from the press.

36:29 Drew But as opposed to you do Bill Clinton, you could have cigars and things and you go to your clergy and everything's given.

36:35 Dave Matthews Band Yeah, exactly. You could be someone who's sat in college and was a madman, you know, and then but as long as well, I've had God in my life for my peace. And then it's like, well, he made his peace.

36:47 Adam Sure, he had it up the crapper 20 times a weekend for the, you know, you know, everyone, it's a way of getting everyone off your back. And, you know, I always contend that I'm gonna start using it. The Bill Clintons of the world are just liars because if you really are God fearing man, you don't do the thing that pisses off your God. Yeah, you just don't. I mean, if you really think this guy's omnipresent and he sees all and he's going to decide what your future is eternally, you don't get sucked off in the overall office by some fat chick while your wife's upstairs.

37:19 Dave Matthews Band You don't do it. Maybe your God is a cigar-smoking madman. This is the thing. You forget the possibility. Maybe the devil's down there thinking that way.

37:28 Caller You shouldn't have done that, buddy.

37:29 Dave Matthews Band He's upstairs like, hey, whatever you want, big boy.

37:31 Adam I don't think as many people are into it as they say, because here's here's I know people aren't really, don't as many people believe in it as they say they do. The second, everyone says they have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and all the clergy stuff and they do some praying on it. Everyone leaves them alone. But as soon as somebody says I talk to God, no, he talks to me. Everyone's like, OK, nut job. Get back in the pad itself. Yeah. Now here's the whole thing. Why wouldn't you be able to talk with him if he was everywhere and you had a personal relationship? Why would we think people that talk to him are nuts? Maybe we don't believe as much as as much as we say we do. Interesting. They're loonies. Powerful. The other thing I was thinking about other countries and their thoughts toward drugs or prostitution or the morning after pill or any of this stuff, I don't think they're necessarily more liberal than we are and I don't think they necessarily condone prostitution more than we do or drug use more than we do. I think they're more realistic. I think the reality with Europe and other other parts of the world is they realize, hey, prostitution here to stay. No fan.

38:37 Dave Matthews Band You can't get rid of it. Yeah. It's like drinking or something. You know, no matter what your position on it is, you can stand up forever and scream, oh, it's terrible.

38:49 Drew We do that here too in this country. We just put it all in Las Vegas.

38:51 Dave Matthews Band Right.

38:52 Drew We put it in a single place.

38:52 Dave Matthews Band No, it's everywhere. The thing is, there is this reality that we have on TV that we imagine, we pretend is real. Right. It doesn't matter. What's the talk show host? What's his name that he's screaming? Bill O'Reilly. No, no, no.

39:07 Drew Pat Robertson last night?

39:09 Dave Matthews Band That was a nice move. Yeah, like that. Yeah, there you go. Kill a guy. But no, I forget his name, but he had was taking all the Oxycontin rush limbo. So now, there's a good example, not whether it was right or wrong for him to be doing that, but here's what he is, what everyone sees, and this is what we consider real in the public eye. But what's really there is that's what's real.

39:32 Caller Well, the guy did enough to stop a herd of elephants every day.

39:37 Adam Whenever someone protests too much about homosexuality or drugs or anything, look out, baby. Look out. But so I think what other countries do is they go, look, we're no fans of prostitution. We'd like it if everyone got married and was monogamous and stayed and raised their kids. It's not going to happen. So now that we realize it's not going to happen, let's get them tested, let's tax it, let's regulate it, let's be adults about it. Same with the drugs, same with the booze, same with the what?

40:05 Dave Matthews Band And that's not necessarily the case everywhere because there's some pretty severe.

40:08 Adam Not everywhere but in more evolved cultures.

40:11 Drew And one last thing, although we're not into retarded, as we say, screwed up people like we screwed up kids, we're not necessarily for abortion.

40:18 Adam No.

40:18 Drew You and I.

40:19 Adam But we're definitely understand that if you make it illegal, people aren't going to stop doing it.

40:24 Dave Matthews Band See, I'm not for abortion. I hate the terms pro life and pro choice. I hate people talking about it as sort of as this right.

40:37 Drew Right.

40:38 Dave Matthews Band It's a reality. And it's a choice that's faced someone. But this pro choice, pro life, it's not something that's, it's a horrible thing. It's a horrible, horrible thing. But if it's not up to me, if there's a circumstance where someone is afraid of bringing someone to the world, or someone has a reason that they think is valid for, you know, if you're using it instead of a rubber, then that's, I'm sorry, then that's, that's obscene. But, but, but, you know, there's, I don't know, it just, it seems kind of crazy.

41:05 Adam Well, you know what we do is there's no shades of gray in this country. You're a murderer. If you abort someone in the first term, and I don't believe you're a murderer. And here's what I talked to Drew about all the time that no one will just admit. If you're a fair-minded, think, and you're sort of even-keeled person, you realize there's shades of gray. If somebody gets aborted in the first trimester, it's not a great day, but it's not the same as a person being stillborn. And that ain't the same as the kid being backed over when he's four, and that's not the same as the guy dying on his graduation day, high school bound for Harvard in a fiery car crash. These are shades of gray. One is horrible, the other is bad. You know what I mean? And we can't, if we just approach life with murder's murder, then we're not being realistic, because there's a big difference between somebody, you know, LeBlav coming out after six weeks and John Wayne Gacy. You know what I'm saying? All right, let's take a little break. Heavy, man. And it would have been nice if John Wayne was supported, by the way. Not John Wayne the Duke, but Gacy.

42:08 Dave Matthews Band Yeah, there you go.

42:09 Adam We'll take a quick break. Dave Matthews Band is here tonight. We'll be right back after this.

42:15 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline in just a minute or two. Call 1-800-LOVE-191.

42:23 Loveline is brought to you by Playboy. If you're a baseball fan, you'll love Jessica Kinseko's wild interview in September's Playboy. If you're not a baseball fan, you'll love Jessica Kinseko's wild pictorial in September's Playboy. Either way, it's on sale now.

42:56 Adam Yeah, it's Loveline, get it on. Got to get it on. Phone number 1-800-L-E-E-1-9-1. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, Dave Matthews in studio tonight, Boyd Tinsley in studio tonight, Dave Matthews Band. Stand up, name of the CD, we'll hear something else off of that in the 11 o'clock hour. Guys are going to be-

43:16 Dave Matthews Band We don't have to, you know, if you guys-

43:18 Adam We would like to, we would like to. Home, they're going to be at the Home Depot Center this Saturday and Sunday, and tickets are still available.

43:27 Caller All right.

43:27 Adam Let's see if we can squeeze in a couple of calls because we're running short on time tonight. Amber?

43:33 Caller Yes. Hello?

43:34 Caller 22?

43:35 Adam Yeah. You have a question for the band?

43:37 Caller Yes. First of all, oh my goodness, I love you guys. You're totally awesome.

43:41 Drew Do you know where Bonner Springs is?

43:43 Caller Yes, I actually do. That was the first show that I ever saw you guys at.

43:48 Adam Oh, you're calling from Kansas?

43:50 Caller Yes, from Kansas. Manhattan.

43:52 Adam Drew, work that part in.

43:54 Dave Matthews Band You're calling from Manhattan, Kansas?

43:57 Adam Yeah. Are you going out to Bonner Springs to see the band on the 7th?

44:03 Caller I wanted to. I was too broke this year.

44:06 Caller Oh, I'm sorry.

44:09 Dave Matthews Band We'll talk about this.

44:10 Adam The tickets aren't that much to Dave Matthews, are they?

44:12 Dave Matthews Band I mean, you can get some cheap seats. We're reasonable compared to a lot of people, but at the same time, that's what I hear. It's unreasonably high at the same time. If you're on a tight budget, I think it can be a bit of a pain in the ass to try to do this show.

44:24 Adam Yeah, but let me say this, Amber.

44:26 Dave Matthews Band Amber will give us her last name. I don't know if she wants to.

44:30 Drew Gascs back.

44:31 Adam You remember those concerts you want to, like Drew, when you were young, you saw Al Jolson, I remember.

44:37 Drew Cat Stevens.

44:38 Adam No, you remember that you saw the Eagles.

44:40 Drew Yes.

44:40 Adam And you remember, you don't remember the 19 bucks it cost. You just remember you saw the Eagles in 1977, Linda Ronstadt, right? That's the same thing now for you, Amber. You're going to want to remember seeing Dave Matthews when you were 22, when you're 52. Yep. And that 46 bucks for the ticket is going to be neither here nor there.

45:01 Drew I do agree. Okay.

45:02 Adam Now that I've inspired you, let's keep going.

45:04 Drew What else, Amber? What else would you like to ask us? What's going on?

45:08 Caller I actually wanted to tell you guys I love you too, Adam and Dr. Drew. I actually work at an affiliate station and I've been listening to your show for the last year and a half because I run your show every single night.

45:21 Adam Well, thanks.

45:21 Drew She has to, basically.

45:22 Adam Yeah. Well, that's why she doesn't have money. She's in radio.

45:25 Drew Right.

45:26 Adam Yeah.

45:26 Drew So the first advice is get out of radio.

45:29 Adam Yeah. All right. So question for the band?

45:32 Caller Yes. Actually, I'm in the military. I'm in the reserves. And I was just wondering what your guys' point was on the war going on right now.

45:44 Dave Matthews Band I'll jump in here. This is Dave. I met a couple of soldiers the other night, and I wanted to say to them, and I think it is a good enough place as any to say that I think that a volunteer army, a volunteer, an army of people that are willing to put their lives on the line for just their belief and their devotion to their country is sort of, it's sort of, to me, it's mind boggling coming from a place like South Africa when the military was all drafted. Something like this, I think it's in a way, it's, you know, there's an analogy to firemen. It's such a profoundly generous sort of, in a way, a sort of selfless act. But you know, obviously there's different reasons that people get in the military. I just, a volunteer military, I have nothing but respect for soldiers. Now my opinion of the necessity to go into Iraq is, I'm not sure it was the right decision. I don't think it was, I don't think we were entirely, I don't think we were given the whole truth about the whole, about the thing. I don't think the evidence for going to war was necessarily there. And so I have a real issue with it. And I also, having grown up a Quaker and grown up in a large portion of my life in a very violent place, I am inspired by people like Mandela who come out of a system of vengeance, a system of violence that really was nothing but brutal to them and come out and say, well, let's figure out a way to get along peacefully. It's sort of counterintuitive, but I think at least it should be involved in the debate as opposed to the rush to war. And so my opinion of getting into the war was, I think it was a wrong idea. And I think it's becoming more and more evident. But certainly I feel very strongly about the people that are on the ground there. And then everyone always says you can't separate them. Of course you can separate them. One is an order from the commander in chief. The other is the soldier who said I volunteer myself to this military because I believe in this country. There are two very different things. And they don't necessarily mesh together entirely. And in fact, there's no mesh between them essentially, except for one is incredibly courageous and one is a debate, or at least should be. I'm not a big supporter of the war.

48:16 Adam Dave, I have to cut you off, unfortunately.

48:19 Dave Matthews Band I'm a rambler though.

48:20 Adam No, no, that's fine. I appreciate your feelings, but we gotta take a quick break. We can get back and talk more about this. We'll just run it up and stop it there.

48:27 Dave Matthews Band Or not.

48:28 Adam I will say a word. I think we'll chime in. Dave Matthews is here tonight. Boyd Tinsley here tonight from Dave Matthews Band. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

48:36 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

48:38 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

48:42 Caller One call is all you need to make.

48:43 Caller Call the Dateline.

48:44 Caller 877-889-DATE.

48:49 Caller Loveline will be right back.

48:51 Caller Loveline will be right back.

49:29 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew, Dave Matthews in studio tonight, Boyd Tinsley in studio tonight, Dave Matthews Band, name of the band, of course, Stand Up, name of the CD. We'll hear something else off of Stand Up in a couple of few. They're going to be at the Home Depot Center out in Carson out here in Southern California this Saturday and this Sunday. And then they're going to keep on keeping on with their tour, which will be culminating in Boner Springs. I'll tell you what you do. You just go to www.davemathewsband.com and you find out all the tour dates and when they're coming toward you because they got a lot of dates coming up. All right. Where was we and what we're going to do? Oh, we're talking about the war. I think most people are starting to have about the same opinion, which is, well, we respect the troops and we love what they're about. But maybe starting to think that this thing's starting to drag out a little bit. On the other hand, I'm all for the Saddam Hussein's of the world getting a bullet in their head. I just, I, I, you're Pat Robertson.

50:33 Dave Matthews Band You and Pat Robertson.

50:34 Adam They're horrible, horrible people that are doing horrible, horrible things to other people. And it's the same thing if you had a chance to put a bullet in Hitler's head or Mussolini's head or Stalin's head, someone should have done it.

50:46 Dave Matthews Band Yeah, and there were, there were attempts always. And, but there's, there's, there's these idiots all over the world. And you know, you pick and choose, well, we kind of like him cause he, you know, sells us good cheap gold or cheap oil. And so, so it's just imbalanced. And then it's the moral position we take, you know, we gotta do it for the, for the people. And it's like, you know, just tell me honestly, we're not going over there to, to liberate the people. We're going to kicks, you know, and you can, and I don't know, I'm starting to ramble. Just tell us what we're doing.

51:17 Adam We're just, it's my oil, get the cough of it. We're going over there to kill Hussein, which is fine with me. We don't, we don't want to do it, but that's, that's fine. A guy deserves a bullet and so do his two sons.

51:26 Dave Matthews Band See, that's when we should call like 007.

51:30 Adam Yeah.

51:31 Dave Matthews Band Just sneak in, have a couple martinis.

51:33 Drew That's what Pat Roberts once said.

51:34 Dave Matthews Band And just, you know, a little, like from the side window, dress up like a lady. Well, that, Mr. Hussein, you are so sexy to me. I want to do, do, do, do, you know.

51:45 Adam What happened when guys would put the silencer on the gun? By the way, never put the silencer on the gun before the hit. They'd always have to do it at the hit.

51:53 Caller How about you? Put it on in the hotel.

51:56 Dave Matthews Band And then, you know, it's not that much more to go down in your pants.

51:58 Adam Yeah, what's the monkey with the silencer on the job? You know, put it on where you can have nice lighting, you can relax. You don't have to sit there, I'm going to put the silencer on. They do that too, like, after they...

52:08 Dave Matthews Band Behind the curtain.

52:09 Adam Right, they do all that stuff, the same with the pump on the shotgun. It's like after the guys entered the house filled with zombies at a certain point, do it out in the car.

52:18 Caller You want the first one ready.

52:20 Adam First pump, I'm doing that on the way over. I'm still in the van when I'm pumping that thing. I haven't even opened the door yet. Of course. Do a lot of that. Do a lot of cocking, a lot of pumping, a lot of...

52:28 Dave Matthews Band Cocking and pumping.

52:29 Adam Getting weird now.

52:30 Caller Cocking and pumping.

52:31 Adam Put on the silencer. Well, here's the thing, Drew and I were, as long as we're talking about oil here, or pumping or whatever it is. You know, I don't know what's going on with the oil. Drew and I were talking about it on the ride home last night. We got to make a move here. I mean, someone's going to have to step up. I was thinking about this the other day, and I realized, you know, these new hybrid automobiles, like Ford's got the new Escape, and it's a little smaller than the Escort, or the Excursion, or it's small, and it's smaller than the Ford, the one down from the Excursion. Come on, Drew. How is it you can only not think of things? I can't think of things when I think of...

53:10 Drew It's driving me crazy.

53:11 Adam Yeah, the Explorer.

53:12 Drew The Explorer, yeah.

53:12 Adam The Explorer. It's a five-passenger car, gets like 30 miles in the city. 69 VW bus, seven passenger, 30 miles in the city. What's the big deal?

53:24 Drew Yeah.

53:24 Adam Where are we going here? We want the power. It's been 30 years. What are we doing? Everyone goes nuts with the hybrid stuff. The Prius, the Toyota Prius is 50 miles a gallon. 86 Honda CRX, 50 miles a gallon. This stuff is 20 years old now. We're not going anywhere with it. We thought we'd be in hover crafts by now. We're still getting 26 miles a gallon on a good day. What's up? You know what I mean?

53:52 Caller The whole company is making too much money, man. They're never letting it happen.

53:55 Adam Right. Here's how it works. I'm not into conspiracies, but every time Congress says, every time Congress says, look, by 2010, let's have the minimum miles per gallon thing be at 21. Everyone jumps on board, starts lobbying against it and it gets crushed. Then, by the way, here's a couple of million bucks for the next campaign. That's basically how it works.

54:19 Dave Matthews Band That is how it goes.

54:20 Adam Well, look at it this way. You ever see those shows on the Discovery Channel where they build those oil derricks that go out into the South Sea and just North Sea and they sit out? Sorry. Thank you, Drew. They go out into the North Sea and they cost $200 billion and have to be dragged out there by tugs and they sink them pylons 40 miles deep in the ocean floor. That thing's got to pay itself off.

54:45 Caller Yes.

54:46 Dave Matthews Band You got to raise some. Maybe they're just thinking about the future because at some point they're going to pay for themselves but at that point we will have drained the Middle East of all its oil.

54:55 Adam There's $2 billion in that oil rig and that thing's going to have to keep pumping for 20 years otherwise they're screwed. So we can't have it.

55:03 Caller Right.

55:04 Adam All right. South Sea.

55:07 Caller Jack?

55:08 Caller Yeah, how you guys doing?

55:09 Drew 19.

55:10 Adam What's up?

55:11 Yeah, I have a question.

55:12 Adam You can come over to Xplorer though. Go ahead, Jack.

55:15 Yeah, my girlfriend, actually. I've been seeing her about a month now. I felt like we were really feeling something, but it turns out first time we got that sexual intercourse is she actually had a penis.

55:27 Caller Great day. No way.

55:28 Adam Yeah, no way.

55:30 Caller Did she have a vagina too or just a penis?

55:32 No, just a penis. I guess it was basically a man who had a sex operation.

55:38 Dave Matthews Band Well, that's got to be a hell of a surprise that day. Well, by the way, she had the operation.

55:45 Drew She wouldn't have a penis if it was an operation, Jack. So what's going on here?

55:48 Yeah, that's the thing. I don't really know. It's just so crazy to me that I don't really want to see a psychologist. Shut up.

55:54 Adam I'm about to want to call you guys. Oh, please. Bogus Jack.

55:59 Can you enlighten me, Adam?

56:00 Drew Oh, Jack, you're such an a-hole. That's what will light you about that.

56:02 Adam I'll see you in hell. Look, look. Here's the whole thing about the Bogus calls. Put some goddamn effort into them. She had an operation or something. Well, I don't know. That's what I want to know.

56:17 Drew Should I see a psychologist?

56:19 Adam Yeah. Jack, are you retarded? You can't do better than that.

56:23 Adam, come on.

56:24 Dave Matthews Band Maybe here, Clitor's going to be like a mini penis.

56:26 Adam Yeah. Repeating Adam, come on, it means nothing.

56:29 Adam, come on.

56:32 Adam I'm telling you, I've said it many times. You have the world's dumbest callers on this show, the world's dumbest and I would put them up against any talk show in South Africa, local or national. We have the dumbest. Like we have, if you collected the IQ of everyone who calls this show, and I would match it up against any talk show in either nationally or local. We would destroy them and how stupid our callers are. Aaron?

56:57 Yes.

56:57 Drew 28.

56:58 Adam 28?

56:58 I can raise the median IQ.

57:01 Drew Thank you. Thank you, Aaron. Well done.

57:03 I have a situation in which I met a man, rather accidentally, gave him my number.

57:10 Drew Hold on a second.

57:11 Adam Hold on. Whoever is screening this phone, this God forsaken show, would you start screening? Jesus Christ. A pterodactyl could fly through your screen door. Yeah, a guy got a penis. I mean, a vagina is short. Okay, we'll put you on. What are you guys doing? Start screening, you idiots. Aaron?

57:34 Yes.

57:35 Adam Sorry, go ahead. I had to scream about screening.

57:37 Yes, I heard that. This isn't as shocking as the penis one.

57:42 Adam No, not you, sweetie.

57:43 Or the bogus, for that matter.

57:44 Adam No, girls don't make bogus calls. Only girls that get put up to it by guys.

57:48 Drew Or guys.

57:49 Adam Yeah.

57:49 Drew Guys, yeah, girls don't have the bogus gene.

57:52 Adam No, they get put up to it by guys on it. It's like there's no women bank robbers. They're just accomplices. They're women who love too much or helping a guy who's robbing a bank. Right.

58:02 Dave Matthews Band They've been twisted.

58:03 Adam Right. Patty Hearst. Go ahead, Erin.

58:05 All right, here's my situation. I have a situation in which I met a man, somewhat accidentally. I gave him my number. He called me. We got together.

58:14 Drew Hold on. What do you mean, somewhat accidentally? Define that for me.

58:17 We sort of just randomly met.

58:19 Adam She wasn't looking for love.

58:21 Drew You were at a coffee house? What do you mean?

58:23 Actually, we were in a grocery store.

58:26 Drew Okay. All right. So he was looking. He was watching you.

58:28 This wasn't the part that I'm like questioning, you know, the whole thing.

58:30 Drew Here's the deal, Erin.

58:31 Caller I gave him my number and he called me and we got together and we haven't spoken again. But this isn't my question. My question, and I suppose this gets sort of more of an esoteric sort, and I was willing to let it go and be what it was, but endless, endless men, endless, and irrefutable coincidences continue to draw us together. I keep getting drawn to them in the most bizarre ways.

59:00 Drew Give us an example.

59:02 Adam Erin, you sound hot. I am hot. I know you're hot because you're crazy.

59:07 Drew So what's the deal? Give us an example.

59:10 Caller Okay. Well, I don't want to give away too much information, but okay.

59:14 Adam We think we're writing a movie about this crappy call.

59:17 Caller Go ahead.

59:19 Caller Okay. Let's see. What's a good one? Okay. So he's reading a book and it's about a woman born on my birthday. I'm talking to a friend and I find out that we have this similar dream. I mean, just really bring them bizarre ways.

59:35 Drew All right.

59:35 Caller He's sort of being drawn together.

59:38 Drew Why does that draw you together? Just the fact that there are coincidental numbers.

59:42 Caller It's sort of something that kind of pushed the back of my mind.

59:44 Drew All right.

59:45 Adam Well, listen, Aaron.

59:46 Drew The guy has been stalking you since the first moment he met you. You better accept that. Though the random meeting in the grocery store, he probably has a little mini grocery store with little sticks of images of you guys. He planned it out.

59:58 Adam Basement.

59:59 Drew Listen, Aaron, you better believe it because that's how guys are.

1:00:03 Adam He cries and masturbates on it and then goes, clean up aisle nine. Yeah, yeah, I know, I've done that.

1:00:13 Drew Now he's talking.

1:00:14 Dave Matthews Band Whatever. I'm not sure. I have no advice because all I got to say is it's a little creepy, whatever it is. It's not creepy, but it's just, I mean, there's too much in it.

1:00:23 Caller How was the man present? Dave would have the best advice. My advice?

1:00:29 Caller I don't know.

1:00:30 Dave Matthews Band It's drawn to it's, you're drawn.

1:00:32 Caller I don't know.

1:00:32 Dave Matthews Band You're not, I don't know what I'm, drawn. That's horrible advice. They're similar. You're similar. He's reading a book about someone that was born on your birthday. Who cares? What's his name?

1:00:44 Caller Random things that just become more and more.

1:00:47 Adam Erin, Erin, here's the thing. Couple of things. First off, I know you're hot because you're one of these people who's used to talking to people in person where they do a lot of head nodding because you're hot, but when we hear you over the radio, you just sound like a ranting lunatic. Yeah. Why don't you just go out with the guy? I don't understand. You met him, you gave him your phone number, you hooked up with him. Why not just start dating?

1:01:10 Caller He's a bit, let's see, what's the word? His job takes him everywhere and he's sort of, I think he may be attached. I don't know exactly what his situation is. But-

1:01:24 Drew Why don't you know that? Why don't you ask him?

1:01:28 Caller Well, we haven't really had contact again.

1:01:31 Adam So he's not into you. He's not into you.

1:01:34 Drew So these random drawing into him things are just random associations that you create meaning out of and associate with him.

1:01:41 Caller That's the problem is that, trust me, man, I'm sort of hesitant saying any of these things because I understand that once they come to pass, really the only question is one of my sanity. But I can promise-

1:01:53 Drew That is the only question right now, Aaron.

1:01:55 Adam Yeah.

1:01:55 Caller Irrefutable.

1:01:57 Caller You want to be madly in love with-

1:01:59 Adam Yeah, you're into him, he's not into you. You know this guy, he's a mover and a shaker.

1:02:03 Drew He's probably got another woman. You're injecting meaning into random occurrences. You're putting meaning on things.

1:02:08 Adam Right. Aaron, forget about this guy. What's up with you? You're 28, you're single. What do you do?

1:02:14 Caller This is true. I'm a writer.

1:02:15 Drew What do you do for a living? A writer.

1:02:17 Adam How do you make money?

1:02:18 Caller How do I make money? I publish things that I write.

1:02:21 Drew For what kind of magazines?

1:02:24 Caller Something that's just sort of on the social end of the spectrum, but I study physics and that's what I write about the most.

1:02:30 Drew How do you support yourself?

1:02:31 Dave Matthews Band You don't make money writing.

1:02:32 Drew How do you support yourself?

1:02:33 Adam Phone sex. What do you do? Come on. Someone will leave you some money?

1:02:38 Caller This is how I make my money.

1:02:40 Adam Writing papers on physics?

1:02:41 Caller I had a good amount to start with, but-

1:02:42 Drew No.

1:02:43 Adam You had a good amount to start with?

1:02:44 Drew No. Yeah, you had given it down to your parents.

1:02:47 Adam Somebody kicked off and left you a nut, right? Trust.

1:02:51 Drew Erin, please be honest. My God, you're so dishonest.

1:02:54 Adam She sells papers on physics.

1:02:56 Drew Yeah.

1:02:56 Adam She goes down to the boardwalk and sells them to tourists.

1:02:58 Drew You're talking about $800 a month in writing, or if that.

1:03:02 Adam Listen, Erin.

1:03:03 Drew Please.

1:03:04 Adam Baby, you're delusional.

1:03:06 Caller Oh, no.

1:03:07 Caller I promise. Yes.

1:03:09 Adam Erin, let me explain something. No matter how smart you think you are, I'm smarter, so listen to me.

1:03:14 Drew Ask this. How much money have you made writing in the last month?

1:03:17 Adam You're not going to get a straight answer because she's a BSer. Now, listen to me, Erin. Here's the thing. You're good-looking and you're smart, but that doesn't mean you're not crazy. What you do when you're smart and you're crazy, people that are smart and crazy can talk themselves around their insanity. Yes, everything. They BS the world and the world doesn't call them on it because they're actually smarter than the person that's saying.

1:03:40 Drew Yes.

1:03:41 Adam Doesn't mean you're not crazy and it doesn't mean you're not going to lead the life of a crazy person.

1:03:44 Drew Also, we have a crazy culture. We go, you're just into whatever. She's like, well, Erin, that's Erin. She's Erin. She's Erin.

1:03:50 Adam We hear it. I can hear it in your voice.

1:03:52 Dave Matthews Band Erin, she's Erin.

1:03:54 Adam I hear crazy yodeling from the canyons when you talk. All right. So, baby, get some therapy. Forget about this guy. Forget about the delusion of selling physics papers.

1:04:06 Drew Yeah, be in reality.

1:04:06 Adam Use some of that nut your grandfather left you and get into some therapy.

1:04:10 Drew Mental health is about being in reality and accepting it on its terms.

1:04:13 Adam Yeah, and stop working on your rap. Smart people.

1:04:17 Drew That's the first music guys have raps like that.

1:04:19 Adam Yes.

1:04:19 Drew That's amazing to have a woman with that rap.

1:04:21 Adam Smart people can outsmart themselves by talking themselves out of help.

1:04:28 Dave Matthews Band With occasional size.

1:04:30 Caller Right.

1:04:31 Adam Yeah.

1:04:33 Drew When people are looking at her, they just go, Oh yeah.

1:04:35 Adam The guy meets her. It's like, Oh my gosh. Einstein meets Morgan Fairchild. Morgan Einstein. Crazy hair but a hot ass. All right.

1:04:51 Caller Where are we, Drew?

1:04:53 Caller Morgan.

1:04:55 Adam Morgan Einstein. Decent band name. Peter?

1:04:59 Caller Yeah.

1:05:00 Adam You're how old are you?

1:05:01 Caller 22.

1:05:01 Adam What's up? You have a question for the band?

1:05:03 Caller Yeah. First, I wanted to say I love you and Drew. I've been listening to you guys for 10 years.

1:05:08 Adam Thanks.

1:05:09 Caller I love Dave. I'm coming to see you on September 2nd. What I want to know is you guys have been around throughout the 90s and I wanted to know what you guys thought about online music trading and how that had affected you and what you thought it did to the industry.

1:05:23 Adam Didn't exist when you first got going really in any real way, right?

1:05:28 Caller No, not really, man. I mean when we first started in 91, people were still trading tapes, cassette tapes and that to us was a godsend because that's how we got our music across the country so quick. We'd go to places that we'd never been to before and we're still playing in Virginia and we have a crowded house because people heard us through tapes and stuff. So we've always let people tape and to this day still let people tape. But as far as the internet, the online music thing, in one way it's a great thing because you get to share so much music with so many people so instantly. I think that's any musician's dream to do that. But on the other hand, we like everybody else work for a living. It's just like when people are taking your music for free, that means that's money coming out your pocket. I think the way that we've come to deal with the situation on this album is that we just make it harder for people to get access to our stuff before it's released, by encrypting our CDs and stuff like that until it's released. So it's a good thing, but I think you shouldn't be doing it if you're not paying for it.

1:06:36 Dave Matthews Band Yeah, I agree with BT. I think, but at the same time, I think it's, you know, people want our, if people, you know, it's the first, the beginning, if people want to listen to us, it's also a compliment. So, you know, if they want to get it for free or whatever, you know, I don't necessarily think that's right. You know, I think we all are very well compensated for our work. But at the same time, we've worked hard to get where we are. So I'm sort of on both sides of it. I think, you know, it'll become what it is. You can't really fight something like this. It's just a technology thing. And we're lucky, I think, as a band, because we can we can tour.

1:07:24 Caller We're a live band.

1:07:25 Dave Matthews Band So, you know, it's hard to it's hard to trade that online in a way. You know, it's you know, you want to come and see us play. That's what you get.

1:07:33 Adam Can't trade the experience.

1:07:34 Dave Matthews Band Exactly.

1:07:35 Adam Trade the sound, but not the experience.

1:07:37 Dave Matthews Band I think we're lucky for that reason.

1:07:38 Drew Speaking of the sound.

1:07:39 Adam I don't know if it's lucky. I'm not done kissing ass. You guys play a great live show. That's got nothing to do with luck. And then the other thing is, I feel sorry for bands, especially these punk bands that have to try to maintain this posture of, hey man, steal whatever we create and take it for free. Yeah, it's no different than any other product. I don't care if you make oven tongs, or if you just make music or whatever it is you create. If somebody takes what you create for free, they have no right to it.

1:08:13 Drew Not only that, but it ruins whatever else the next generation plans to produce because ain't nobody going to produce nothing if they aren't in some way compensated.

1:08:20 Dave Matthews Band You got to be compensated for what you do. That's why I'm saying we're lucky, but it's not the case with every band.

1:08:24 Drew You're in your mom's world or in Chumbawumba's world.

1:08:28 Adam Yeah, in Chumbawumba's world, big horrible kids show. Chumbawumba's world, a bunch of angry Brits yelling about anarchy, scaring the crap out of your kids. Yeah, the thing, yeah, Chumbawumbas are anarchists and A-holes. And they're really, they're A-holes first and anarchists second.

1:08:43 Drew Yeah, they get close together.

1:08:44 Adam God, they fell off the goddamn map 10 years ago. Idiots come in here, okay, anyway. They come in here full like their ass doesn't stink and tell us how anarchy's the wave of the future. Great, now they're back in Puddingshire, you know, and putting fish in a newspaper. Good, God love you. Stay there, please. And keep going with your anarchy dream. Just do it in your own crappy country. But here's the thing, you create something, you should be able to sell it. Just pure and simple. And you know, and this other part too, you know, I was doing my TV show, we had Drew Rosenhouse, the NFL agent that everyone's PO'd about because he wants Terrell Owens to make a bunch of money or he wants whatever. And I was like, why should these athletes, because they can. Because you can't run a 4-2-40 and they can. And why should Celine Dion get $250 million a year playing in Vegas, but that Terrell Owens is going to risk his life out on the football field for about five years and he can't get eight million a year. You know what I mean? Or why does this celebrity get paid so much? Why?

1:09:48 Drew Why do you have four TV shows and you can't make what Man Cal makes?

1:09:52 Adam Yeah.

1:09:52 Drew How's that work?

1:09:53 Adam Why is that? I'm angry now. Don't make me angry.

1:09:56 Dave Matthews Band Oh, really? You're really pissed. There's steam coming out of your ears. Yeah.

1:10:00 Adam You work and you make a product, then you sell the product. Don't worry about what you sell it for. Don't worry about what your compensation is, or what kind of house you live in, or if you fly first class or coach. If people don't want to buy it, then don't buy it, but it's a product and it's for sale. All right. Let's move more products. Shall we, Drew?

1:10:18 Caller Yeah.

1:10:20 Adam Some serious sucking up there going with that, Dave.

1:10:23 Drew Everyone's sucking.

1:10:24 Adam That was sucking and heavy.

1:10:27 Caller Hucky.

1:10:29 Adam Stand up, name of the song and you're queued up.

1:10:34 Drew Yeah, you're playing it now.

1:10:36 Adam What? Why not? All right. All right. Why, you got a problem with that?

1:10:40 Drew I think you said it was time to pay some bills.

1:10:42 Adam No, I mean, Dave, Dave Matthews.

1:10:44 Caller Move some products.

1:10:45 Adam Move some products.

1:10:46 Caller Move some products.

1:10:47 Adam Dave Matthews' product.

1:10:48 Drew Got it.

1:10:49 Adam Not just crappy Vermont teddy bears I saw. All right. You ready to rock?

1:10:53 Drew Yeah, yeah, ready.

1:10:54 Adam All right, here it is. Stand up.

1:15:05 Caller Hello, this is Loveline.

1:15:07 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline will be right back.

1:15:34 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Wow. Dave Matthews Band in studio. Not a moment too soon. Dave's here tonight. Boyd's here tonight. Dave's ass literally hit the stool right as the mics heated up. But that's timing. That's the timing of an accomplished musician. You understand that, Drew?

1:15:52 Dave Matthews Band Relatively. I hang out with a lot of accomplished musicians, at least I've been in.

1:15:56 Drew He just knows how to perform live.

1:15:57 Dave Matthews Band Yeah.

1:15:58 Adam That's what he does. That's right. That's right. He's a big game player. Yeah. Do you like, I know it's a stupid or a crapped out question, but big arenas, small arenas? I mean, you would like to play the intimate clubs. Does it make a big difference?

1:16:15 Dave Matthews Band We spent a long time in little clubs, and but we enjoy the big rooms too. There's a couple of them. You can make them intimate. Maybe some people disagree, but if you're relaxed, you can make any size venue seem at least, you know, maybe not small, but you can make it seem intimate. You just got to sort of fit in to it, you know? You got to just fit. You got to be comfy.

1:16:36 Adam What are some of your favorites?

1:16:38 Dave Matthews Band The Galpine Valley is definitely one.

1:16:41 Caller The gorge up outside of Seattle is a beautiful place.

1:16:44 Dave Matthews Band Yeah, that's beautiful, and Red Rocks, we're going there later on.

1:16:47 Caller There's no place like Madison Square Garden.

1:16:49 Adam Is that really?

1:16:49 Caller No place like Madison Square Garden.

1:16:51 Adam Why not?

1:16:51 Dave Matthews Band But it really rocks.

1:16:52 Caller The whole place moves. It goes up and down.

1:16:54 Dave Matthews Band It's kind of unnerving, actually.

1:16:56 Caller It's just the energy of all the great things have gone in, all the great fights, all the great sporting events, and all the great concerts has gone on there. You feel that energy when you play there, yeah.

1:17:05 Adam Interesting.

1:17:05 Dave Matthews Band New Yorkers.

1:17:06 Adam Yeah.

1:17:07 Dave Matthews Band New Yorkers.

1:17:08 Adam Right.

1:17:08 Dave Matthews Band They like to come to play. They want to be very serious.

1:17:13 Adam It's hallowed ground, and it's weird. I mean, I'm not into that stuff, but if you think about it, there's, you know, Joe Lewis was fighting Rocky Marciano here 50 years ago, and every huge name that has come before you and after you is going to end up here at some point. My God, the list of events. And yeah, not just music. Every event. All right, let's talk to Anthony, who's 23. Anthony?

1:17:39 Hey, what's going on, guys?

1:17:40 Adam What's up?

1:17:40 Caller Anthony, what's up?

1:17:42 First off, I just want to say, man, I've been listening to you guys for like five years, and you guys are great. I mean, I've got I've learned a lot from you guys. And, you know, I think what you guys do is great for, you know, the two hours you guys take out of your day to do the show. I think it's awesome. And I learned a lot from you guys.

1:17:56 Adam Drew does it for the money. I do it because I love the kids.

1:18:00 Yeah, I bet you do. Hey, well, OK, I got this dilemma. I was dating a girl for about a year, and we broke up a month ago. And we had a great sex and everything. And she used to do oral on me. And I was totally into it and everything. But my favorite part of it was that she used to swallow. And I'm dating this new girl now. And she gives me BJs and everything, but she doesn't go that far.

1:18:38 Drew Adam has always said she'll raise dad. How could you say that?

1:18:41 Adam Yeah, so she doesn't. Well, okay, let's.

1:18:44 Dave Matthews Band She just doesn't seem like she's really all the way into it.

1:18:47 Exactly, I think that's more important.

1:18:50 Adam I don't know, to me, it's a bigger turn on when they're doing it and they're not really that into it. You know what I mean?

1:18:57 Dave Matthews Band The reluctant quality.

1:18:58 Adam Yeah, I like that, I like it porn too. I like the chick who doesn't really wanna be there halfway into it. It's more exciting for me. You tell she like sobered up and is like, I gotta get back to college.

1:19:10 Dave Matthews Band Why am I here?

1:19:12 Adam It's better than the crazy chick with the tats who starts screaming like, give me head. It's always weird. Yeah, I like that. Now, okay, let's figure this out because we haven't talked about this in a long time.

1:19:27 Drew It's a wonderful topic, though.

1:19:28 Adam Well, okay, we'll try to be delicate. But guys always want women to swallow. I think we are shooting ourselves in the foot by using the word swallow. We don't want you to swallow. We want you to receive and maintain, and then do with it what you will. You don't have to ingest it. You just have to be a repository.

1:19:49 Drew But I think Anthony is a guy. You're very pragmatic that way.

1:19:52 Adam Thank you.

1:19:52 Drew But I think Anthony is a guy that needs the whole receptive quality to this.

1:19:57 Adam Is there any sensation involved with that?

1:19:59 Drew No, but ask him what it is. It's a psychological thing.

1:20:02 Adam Anthony.

1:20:03 Yes.

1:20:03 Adam If I was performing oral on you, would I need to actually ingest your seed? Or could I just keep it in my mouth until I got to the bathroom?

1:20:17 No. I mean, like, that's cool, too. I mean, that's better than nothing, but, like, I don't know, like, something about it.

1:20:23 Caller Thanks, because Adam definitely would have liked to get rid of it, I think.

1:20:26 Drew This whole receiving thing is a psychological thing.

1:20:28 Adam I see. It's like, prove you love me.

1:20:30 Drew It's more like, take me in. Take me in. I don't know.

1:20:33 Adam Prove it for me. Yeah.

1:20:34 Drew No, this is a psychological thing.

1:20:35 Caller Do you go down on her, bro?

1:20:37 All the time.

1:20:39 Caller Does she like that?

1:20:40 Drew Those guys, these guys, their whole sexual sense of themselves is all involved with mouth and receiving oral.

1:20:47 Caller Something's wrong with your mic, Drew.

1:20:49 Caller Could you have somebody fix that?

1:20:50 Drew What's wrong with it?

1:20:51 Adam No, it's got better.

1:20:53 Drew Still?

1:20:53 Adam I think it got improved.

1:20:55 Drew It was swaying around for a second.

1:20:56 Adam I think you're simulating the oral on it.

1:20:58 Dave Matthews Band Is it still bad?

1:21:00 Drew Yeah, it's bad. It's bad now.

1:21:01 Adam Dave, get your tech guy in here. See if you can run out.

1:21:03 Dave Matthews Band Want to share my mic or is that too weird while we're talking about this?

1:21:07 Drew Oral sex and share with Dave.

1:21:08 Adam Anthony.

1:21:09 Drew I'm going over here.

1:21:10 Adam Okay, here's the deal. A lot of chicks ain't into this, especially the ingestion part and that's the hand you got dealt with this particular chick. You got lucky and you got spoiled before. So I don't think you're going to talk her into it.

1:21:27 Caller There's no way that she would ever be into it that much.

1:21:32 Adam Maybe on your birthday.

1:21:33 Dave Matthews Band To cast a spell on her or something.

1:21:36 Adam No, look, Anthony, picture a food you hate. You got it? Yeah. Now picture me trying to talk you into eating that food.

1:21:43 Dave Matthews Band There you go.

1:21:44 Adam You into it? Come on, buddy, you love me, don't you? A fan of the show? Eat that liver.

1:21:49 Caller Hey, you know what?

1:21:50 Dave Matthews Band It's with onions.

1:21:51 Adam Shut up. Look, she's not into it. Here's the other thing, fellas. Drew, what are you doing over there? Here's the other thing.

1:21:57 Drew Screw this mic up, too.

1:21:58 Adam The other thing is, if you force your woman to do stuff she doesn't want to do, she may do it temporarily eventually.

1:22:06 Drew Then she'll resent it.

1:22:07 Caller She'll resent it.

1:22:08 Drew She'll hold it against you.

1:22:09 Adam That's right.

1:22:10 Drew This is the anal sex axiom.

1:22:12 Adam That's right.

1:22:13 Drew You can talk rid of the great anal sex rule.

1:22:16 Adam Yeah, that's right. You'll get it once, but she'll be pissed off for you.

1:22:20 Drew Oh, even more than once, but you'll get it again coming back around the other side.

1:22:25 Adam Right. The real sodomy will begin when she takes it out on you later on in life.

1:22:29 Dave Matthews Band Yeah.

1:22:30 Adam Okay. So, let's not be-

1:22:32 Dave Matthews Band That's a good conversation.

1:22:33 Adam Let's not be-

1:22:34 Drew Oh, Dave likes the anal sex.

1:22:35 Adam Let's not be anus-wise and ass-foolish. I think that's what I'm saying. Drew, write that down. Anus-wise and ass-foolish.

1:22:44 Dave Matthews Band Yeah. You have your partner there and enjoy each other the way you enjoy each other.

1:22:51 Caller Certainly don't try and impose, you know what I really like? I really like it when you grab hold my balls, squeeze my balls and slap me in the head. Come on.

1:23:01 Dave Matthews Band Wait a minute.

1:23:02 Drew Is this the Insane Clown Posse?

1:23:05 Dave Matthews Band No, but I just think that you got to find out what you both like and maybe don't violate yourself when you're alone. If you want to do some, I'll leave it there.

1:23:16 Adam Also, I don't trust the guy whose mission in the relationship is to talk the chick into doing something she doesn't want to do. That doesn't sound like you're having a relationship. That's like you just have a dummy to experiment on some sort of fling.

1:23:31 Drew But then again, a lot of 20-year-old guys, that's what's going on.

1:23:34 Adam You can trust the balls.

1:23:36 Caller You can gently pet them.

1:23:38 Caller You can stroke them.

1:23:39 Caller You can juggle them from side to side to side to hand.

1:23:42 Dave Matthews Band But don't punch the balls.

1:23:44 Drew The Insane Clown Posse.

1:23:46 Adam Violent J from the Insane Clown Posse. Going to be opening for Dave Matthews over at Red Rock.

1:23:50 Dave Matthews Band Out the hell out of her butthole, man.

1:23:54 Adam Why don't you guys get some weird band open for you? Why get a band that sounds like you guys?

1:23:59 Dave Matthews Band Go get the Insane Clown Posse in there and see what you can do. We wanted them but we got the Black Eyed Peas.

1:24:06 Drew Oh, okay.

1:24:07 Adam All right. All right. We will.

1:24:09 Dave Matthews Band Do you get the only way that I lift is my own, my big fat ass every day when I wake up.

1:24:15 Caller That was pretty good.

1:24:18 Dave Matthews Band Oh my God.

1:24:19 Caller Hey, play that again.

1:24:23 Adam I'm telling you, it would be a great tour.

1:24:24 Caller It would be. Oh my God.

1:24:26 Adam Guys in Mexican wrestling masks charging the stage every night. Insane crowd dressed in hemp freaking out.

1:24:34 Dave Matthews Band What's happening? It's scaring me.

1:24:37 Adam It would be awesome. All right. Let's take ourselves a little break. We will be back with Dave Matthews Band after this.

1:24:46 Caller Loveline, be right back in a minute.

1:25:20 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline and Adam, that's Dr. Drew, Dave Matthews in the studio tonight, Boyd Tinsley in the studio tonight, and they are two-sevenths, eights, how many guys in the band?

1:25:33 Dave Matthews Band Two-sixth, two-fifths in that area, when we're on the road, two-sixth of the band, yes.

1:25:38 Adam Of the Dave Matthews Band. The band is gonna be at the Home Depot Center out here in Southern California on Saturday and Sunday, and then they're touring, baby, so just go to www.davemathewsband.com. And find out when they're coming to a town near you. Let's talk to Carina, who's 30. She's addicted to sex.

1:25:58 Hello.

1:25:58 Adam Carina, slept with over 96 guys.

1:26:01 Caller About 96, yeah.

1:26:03 Adam About whose count?

1:26:04 Caller Actually, not about. It is exactly 96. Did you mark it off on your wall? Well, actually, I didn't mark it off, but in my head, every time there was entourage, I guess you can say, it was like, okay, that's number 23 or okay, that's number 24. Right. But no, I just, my mom is telling me I'm a sex addict. I don't think I am.

1:26:32 Caller Uh-huh.

1:26:33 Adam Talking about this with your mom, huh?

1:26:35 Caller I talk to my mom about everything.

1:26:37 Drew Is your mom like a recovering alcoholic or something?

1:26:40 Caller No. No, she's not, but I was actually, I was adopted at 12.

1:26:45 Caller Oh, that's bad.

1:26:47 Caller Yeah.

1:26:48 Adam Mom's got to be delighted by the way. Oh, what happened this weekend, sweetie? 81, 82, 80, no, 81, 82, 83, 84B. That's just about 10 minutes ago. Yeah.

1:26:59 Drew Karina, listen, what happened?

1:27:01 Adam Something horrible happened to be adopted at 12.

1:27:04 Caller I lived with my biological family till I was nine.

1:27:08 Drew Why did you leave?

1:27:10 Caller Well, they relinquished their rights to me.

1:27:13 Drew Oh, well, that explains everything.

1:27:14 Adam They gave you up, yeah, like a library book.

1:27:16 Drew Yeah. Karina, what the hell was going on in that family?

1:27:18 Adam Intellectual property.

1:27:19 Drew Yeah, just let it go.

1:27:20 Adam Yeah, of course. Yeah, you lease your kids. That's how it works.

1:27:23 Drew Karina, please, what happened?

1:27:25 Adam Your parents must have been drug addicts.

1:27:28 Caller My mother was a gambling addict and an alcoholic, and my biological father was an alcoholic.

1:27:36 Drew Okay, so you had a horrible, horrible upbringing.

1:27:39 Adam Here's the thing, everybody, people that get adopted at one or two, that means there's some serious chaos going on at the home, but at 12 or given up at nine, that is super-

1:27:51 Drew Catastrophe.

1:27:52 Adam Yeah, that is overt.

1:27:53 Drew Meltdown. Meltdown, catastrophe, Karina. So if you're not an addict, it would be a miracle.

1:27:59 Caller Well, the thing is, I was with my husband dating him through high school. He was actually my second boyfriend. I was with him for like nine years. And then after we divorced, it was like, all right, I can just go out and sell my wild oats. And about a year and a half after we divorced, that's when I had about 75 guys.

1:28:25 Drew What is your question for us?

1:28:26 Adam Yeah, we understand you spent a lot of time in your back.

1:28:29 Drew Get the picture. What's the question?

1:28:30 Adam You got to get some therapy for what you've been through.

1:28:32 Caller Okay, that's basically it. Whether or not you think I'm a sex addict and what should I do?

1:28:37 Drew There is no doubt you're a sex addict. The question is, well, you're at least sexually compulsive. The question is, are you addicted to anything else?

1:28:44 Caller No, I used to be addicted to sugar.

1:28:47 Adam Here's the, that just means you're nuts. Here's, if you start counting that stuff. Yeah, all the chocoholics, please. And by the way, I can't stand people, you know what, I'm addicted to chocolate.

1:29:00 Drew Yeah, it's an insult to the heroin addicts.

1:29:02 Adam It really is. Oh, okay, sweetie. Yeah, you eat a Hershey's bar once a day. I'm chasing the dragon and strung out, and I got a needle sticking in my arm.

1:29:12 Drew So you're not drinking, Carina?

1:29:13 Caller No, I'm not drinking.

1:29:15 Drew Not smoking pot regularly.

1:29:16 Caller And to let you know that with the sugar, it was not just a couple things. I would walk about two miles at about two o'clock in the morning, and I would shoplift all kinds of stuff.

1:29:32 Drew You're a bulimic then. You're not a sugar addict. You have bulimia. And by the way, you have kleptomania too, which is by the women a very difficult sign. It really means something very serious is going on. That's a Carina. You have major psychiatric issues that have to be contended with here. And I do suggest you start with that. I don't know if you're bipolar. I don't know what else is going on here.

1:29:53 Caller But yeah, all right, all right.

1:29:56 Adam So, Corina, you're not stupid. You know what's going on. You got to get some help.

1:30:01 Caller OK.

1:30:01 Adam You your family basically wrapped you around a telephone pole. And now it's time to take yourself to the body shop and get the car straightened out. It's all not your fault. You weren't behind the wheel, but it's your car now. So what are you going to do? You know what I mean?

1:30:19 Caller Yeah.

1:30:19 Adam You want to go through a whole life driving, pulling to the side. Just get straightened out.

1:30:25 Caller Okay.

1:30:26 Drew All right.

1:30:26 Adam Why do it everybody?

1:30:28 Drew I understand, Karina, a hallmark of what you're describing is a difficulty regulating feeling states and regulating impulses and regulating drives. You're having difficulty regulating. And so your solution is do these highly arousing acts as a way of feeling good in the moment, but they become a compulsive need for those things. The more you do them, the more you have shame, the more you need them to regulate. And listen, you're a million miles from all these feelings and for having really insight into what's going on. One of the things about certain kinds of mental illness is you just lack insight. You lack the ability to see the consequences, feel what's going on, and you're sort of in that mode right now.

1:31:04 Adam All right. I'll get some help.

1:31:05 Drew Yeah.

1:31:06 Adam Nothing wrong with you. Just get some help. Well, there's plenty wrong with you. You're not a bad person. You're not really responsible for the shape you're in, but you are responsible for writing yourself.

1:31:16 Drew Yes. Correct.

1:31:17 Adam That's what people don't really realize.

1:31:19 Drew You're not responsible for your disease, but you are responsible for your recovery.

1:31:22 Adam Like any disease. If you have diabetes, not your fault, but you got to take your insulin.

1:31:28 Drew If you don't, then people get angry with you. It's like, you're losing your legs now because you didn't do something about that.

1:31:33 Dave Matthews Band She sounds smart just because she's thinking about the stuff and she's eloquent. You know what I mean? Yes. She doesn't sound like she's lost.

1:31:41 Adam I find that most nutty people, unfortunately, sort of know what they're doing. It's just they're compulsed. I mean, they can't stop themselves.

1:31:50 Dave Matthews Band You know what I have a problem with now is that you used to be able to tell, this is way, I've just made it really shallow in my mind, but I used to be able to tell a crazy person walking down the street, at least not always, but if they were talking to themselves, crazy people. But now with these modern cell phones, there's a lot of crazy people and so I can't tell if it's a crazy person or not. Because they could be coming down and all of a sudden you'll see a little thing sticking out. It's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, not even crazy.

1:32:18 Adam It used to be easy because they thought they were Napoleon.

1:32:20 Drew Or Jesus or something.

1:32:21 Adam They're being chased by a guy with a butterfly net.

1:32:23 Drew Yeah.

1:32:24 Adam It was very easy to pick out who the crazy people are.

1:32:26 Dave Matthews Band But now.

1:32:27 Adam Now, who the hell knows?

1:32:28 Drew It's crazy.

1:32:30 Dave Matthews Band I told the guy to sell, sell, sell. What the hell is wrong with you?

1:32:32 Drew Well, people also get into this sort of relativistic view of things like, well, what's crazy anyway? Who are you to say, well, come on. Yeah. There is healthy and there is not healthy. We know what that is.

1:32:43 Caller Right. All right.

1:32:44 Adam Let's hit Chris real quick. She's pregnant. She wants to get a tat. I just want to know what the tat is going to be of. Chris?

1:32:53 Caller Yes.

1:32:54 Adam What? You're pregnant? How far along are you?

1:32:56 Caller I'm about three and a half months.

1:32:58 Drew What is the tattoo going to say that you must get to put your pregnancy at risk?

1:33:01 Caller That I must. I kind of just didn't know the word isn't repercussions, but the background behind it, whether-

1:33:09 Adam Yeah. How about getting the baby on board or something, or the arrow pointing down the baby right on the belly?

1:33:16 Caller The baby on the board.

1:33:17 Adam Oh, that would be awesome.

1:33:18 Dave Matthews Band That should be on her back.

1:33:19 Adam You know what would be awesome when you really start showing is get like a soccer ball or a basketball, a soccer ball with this octagonal black and white. Just get your belly done up like something that's that shape.

1:33:33 Dave Matthews Band Maybe start because you're three and a half months.

1:33:36 Drew Something's going to shrink.

1:33:37 Dave Matthews Band Not real, a smaller soccer ball. People say, why did you get a small soccer ball? But then you wait and then-

1:33:41 Adam Oh, yeah. Watermelon would be awesome too. A melon.

1:33:45 Dave Matthews Band And big melon.

1:33:46 Drew That may cost someone.

1:33:48 Adam When is someone who's pregnant really going to get a sense of humor too like a nice melon?

1:33:52 Drew Chris, I would worry about hepatitis. It's the main thing you're worried about.

1:33:54 Adam Really?

1:33:55 Drew Yeah. And there are other things. They hold the torch syndrome, the syphilis, and the toxoplasma, all that good stuff.

1:33:59 Adam Okay.

1:34:00 Drew Good times.

1:34:01 Adam The rule of thumb is-

1:34:03 Drew Don't do anything during your pregnancy.

1:34:04 Adam You don't have to.

1:34:05 Drew Anything.

1:34:06 Adam They say, well-

1:34:06 Drew Are you kidding, Chris?

1:34:07 Adam Yeah. Glass of wine is not going to kill you. I know, but just don't do it. Just don't do it. Okay?

1:34:12 Dave Matthews Band Maybe a Guinness, though.

1:34:14 Adam Guinness is good. Yeah, it's got iron in it. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Well, that's the show. I want to thank Boyd Tinsley for coming in and Dave Matthews, Dave Matthews Band Stand-Up, name of the CD.

1:35:13 Drew Come back, guys, please.

1:35:14 Dave Matthews Band Well, I really enjoyed being here, and if you'd have us back, I'd love to come and I'm sure Boyd, it was fun and informative. Thank you very much. Informative.

1:35:24 Adam Thank you. www.davemathewsband.com is where you find out all the tour dates which are coming up. All right, we'll take ourselves a little extendo break, and until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:35:40 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, August 24, 2005