Episode 1000724338139

0:58 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:02 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:05 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised.

1:14 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:17 Voiceover Loveline.

1:18 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist tonight. Rilo Kiley in the band. Jenny Lewis and I should say in the studio of Jenny Lewis and Blake Sennett are both here. And then we'll do a little rotation thing at the top of the hour. If these guys don't work out, we'll do it sooner. The band is currently opening for Coldplay, which is a very good live band. And the tour is-

1:53 Drew Coldplay. I've never heard of them. Who's that band again?

1:55 Adam They're at Coldplay?

1:56 Drew Wait a minute.

1:56 Adam They came in here back when there were nobody, remember?

1:59 Drew Several times.

2:00 Adam Oh, yeah? Well, maybe they did come in there several times.

2:03 Drew I used to confuse them with 311.

2:05 Adam No, you didn't.

2:05 Drew Yes, I did.

2:06 Adam You're an idiot.

2:07 Drew Just because they're tall guys. You know, a bunch of tall guys.

2:10 Adam Okay. Wait, it's a bunch of short fat guys? Maybe a band with a bunch of short fat guys, isn't it?

2:14 Drew They just reminded me of one another. I don't know what that accent one did.

2:16 Adam All right. Well, let's say hi to Jenny and Blake. Hi. Sorry. Sorry about that argument. Hey, how's it going? I was looking and seeing that Jenny and Blake were both actors before forming the band. Yeah. Jenny was in Pleasantville. Very underrated, but very good movie.

2:33 She played Joey Long's daughter.

2:35 Adam Boy Meets World and Salute Your Shorts, which I remember the name, but I don't remember seeing it. Yeah. How did you go from the movie or television or features into the band?

2:48 Well, I think Jake tired of the old acting career, and for myself, I think music just was always a little bit more important than saying two words in Pleasantville.

3:03 Adam Do you want to? I remember you saying four.

3:06 Four, yeah. They were.

3:07 Adam But I saw the director's cut. Yeah. But if a good role came around, you might jump on it, right?

3:14 You know, Pedro Almodovar, possibly. But I think we're pretty busy with the music stuff.

3:22 Adam Yeah. How's Coldplay? They struck us as very nice, genteel sorts.

3:27 Drew Gentlemen.

3:28 Super, super nice guys. We played with them in Las Vegas, of all places. We opened for them and they were super nice and watched our show. And I don't know, a week later.

3:39 Adam How does that work? They just get hold of you and they're like, hey, we liked your set and you want to go out with us?

3:44 Yeah, pretty much. We got a call thereafter that said, you know, Coldplay wants to know if you're available for a month for this national tour. And we said, yes.

3:54 Adam If I knew somebody who was in a up and coming band, I would constantly F with them by playing the manager of, you know, I'm representing U2, I'm representing the Rolling Stones. We caught your set at Steve's House. We thought it was awesome. You could really just BS because no one knows the voice or the name of the manager or the record rapper, whoever's calling on their behalf, you know, it'd be endless.

4:21 Crush some high hopes out there.

4:23 Adam Maybe that's what's going on.

4:24 Drew Where'd the name come from? Rilo Kiley.

4:28 I believe it was born of a dream in a sports almanac, a dream that Blake had years and years ago.

4:35 It's true.

4:36 Drew What happened in pre-telling that dream?

4:38 I was being chased by it. This is bizarre and ridiculous, but I was being chased by a sports almanac through-

4:45 Drew Chased by a book.

4:46 Adam An almanac.

4:47 That's correct, by a book.

4:49 Drew Would it have legs and arms?

4:50 You know, in the-

4:52 Drew Oh, yes. Okay, got it.

4:53 Yes, yes.

4:54 Adam Here's the thing about dreams or cartoons. If it's like a walnut nutcracker, so all it has to do is do that movement fast enough and it'll propel itself.

5:04 Drew Yes, of course. Yes, you notice that.

5:06 It's like a squid.

5:07 Adam Like a clam in the water.

5:08 Yeah, that's right.

5:09 Adam Yes, all you got to do is flap and move.

5:10 Drew It wasn't trying to chew on you, it was propelling itself by flapping it.

5:13 Adam Well, but then once it got to him, it would stop propelling and start consuming.

5:17 Drew Okay, then what?

5:19 I don't know. When it got to me, I leafed through it. But you know, dreams don't make much sense when I leafed through it. I came upon an Australian Rules football player from the 19th century named Rilo Kiley. It's kind of embarrassing.

5:34 Drew In reality, had you seen that in a...

5:36 I don't think so. I don't think that character exists.

5:38 Adam You ever go and try to look it up and see if it exists?

5:40 If you Google Rilo Kiley, you just come back with a lot of pictures of us. So I think...

5:47 Drew He's tried it, Adam.

5:48 Adam That rugby player's family's pissed.

5:52 I think it's unique to us.

5:54 Drew And you woke up, you were 12 years old, and sat up in bed and said, I've got to form a band.

5:58 I wrote it down on a blotter, on an office desk when I woke up. And I don't know, I came back to it when we were trying to think of a name and then we thought we'd use that for one show and then change it because who wants that name? And who can remember that anyway? But, you know.

6:16 Drew There we are.

6:17 Yeah.

6:17 Adam Well, we'll hear something off the CD and just a couple of few and take some phone calls first. Let's talk, oh, where are we going here? Six, Sarah?

6:31 Yes.

6:31 Adam You're 25?

6:33 Caller I am, hi guys.

6:34 Adam What's up, what's up?

6:36 Drew Howdy.

6:36 Caller Adam, I want you to know that it's hard to listen to your voice on the radio and watch your show at the same time, but it can be done.

6:44 Adam Yeah, thanks.

6:45 Drew Well done, Sarah.

6:46 Adam It can be central, everybody. 11.30.

6:48 Caller Yeah. I actually have a comment and a question. My comment, you guys were talking with Dave Baptist's band last night about the music industry and the music trading kind of thing. I was just going to say...

7:02 Adam We're talking about the internet stuff, or people downloading and ripping off music.

7:06 Caller Right, right. I'm a firm believer of buying a CD from a band that's worth buying. I just... And there are some bands these days that are making some really good music.

7:19 Adam Yeah. Meanwhile, the question says, uses a dildo had chlamydia. Once and for all, it's just safe to use the same dildo.

7:26 Drew We'll talk about the esoteric of a band and the internet trading. It's all right.

7:29 Adam Keep going.

7:30 Caller Sorry, guys.

7:31 Drew Okay.

7:31 Caller But yeah, I was just going to say that if more bands would make some music worth more than just a couple of songs in their CDs, it's...

7:39 Adam Yeah, I know. But look, I hate this retarded excuse. Like, hey, anyone who leaves their briefcase on their passenger seat in the window open deserves to have that. I guess my ass deserves. Like, look, if these people start making CDs that had more than one, then don't listen to it. It's for sale. You know what I mean? Like, look, here's the deal. A box of C's candy is 13 bucks. You may not like a few of them in there. Don't buy it. You don't go, oh, now I can rip it off because I don't like all the candy. Yeah, I don't like the ones that have the orange peel in it. So I'm just going to rip off the box? These guys, if that old bitch would start making candy, they had more nuts in it, and less of that weird orange peel stuff, I would pay for it, but until they do that, I'm just going to start ripping it off. Shut up. The only thing worse than actually doing whatever it is you're doing that's wrong is the retarded rationale that follows it. Just admit you're sort of weak or you're cheap or you're not that great a person, you're not of substance, and then just go ahead and do it. I'm all right with that. It's pretty easy on people that go like, like you go, why did you do that? Why, you know, why did you get your girlfriend pregnant when you were 14? And then the guy just goes, I was stupid. We'd leave you alone immediately.

8:52 Drew Well, you would be fair.

8:54 Adam No, no, we do. When someone says they're stupid.

8:56 Drew Yeah, we actually admire them and then you take off after them.

8:58 Adam I admire them for their candor and their stupidity and not knowing what the word candor means. Sarah?

9:05 Caller Yes, I appreciate your honesty, Adam.

9:08 Adam All right. So what? Here we go.

9:09 Drew What's the question?

9:10 Adam Ask your question.

9:11 Caller Okay. So, okay, I had STD. I had chlamydia and I took some medicine, got rid of it and the dildo I used before with the chlamydia, is it safe to, what do I have to do?

9:23 Drew Chlamydia. That was good.

9:25 Adam Right.

9:25 Drew Yes, you can certainly wash it down real good, put it in the washing machine.

9:30 Hit it with some antibacterial soap. I think chlamydia is a bacterial infection.

9:35 Drew Doesn't live very long outside the body.

9:37 Adam Start mixing like lubriderm with, what is that? Purell. Maybe a little astrogline Purell. Put a little ad in there.

9:48 Drew A little dildo thing.

9:49 Adam It would be like that Reese's Peanut Butter Cup commercial.

9:53 Drew Beautiful.

9:53 Adam Pow. Two of your favorite things now is one. Hey, Sarah?

9:59 Caller Yes.

10:01 Drew So there you go.

10:01 Adam All right, baby.

10:02 Drew Anyway, here we go.

10:02 Adam Okay.

10:03 Drew Let's go.

10:03 Adam You sound like a delight. We're going to have to let you go though.

10:05 Drew All right, bye.

10:06 Adam All right. Now, was she angry?

10:09 Drew Yes.

10:10 Adam A little bit or?

10:10 Drew Oh, a lot.

10:11 Adam But not abused? Sexual abuse or physical abuse?

10:14 Drew Something.

10:15 Adam Some physical abuse.

10:16 Drew Some.

10:16 Adam Light physical abuse?

10:17 Drew No, sexual abuse.

10:18 Adam Sarah?

10:19 Caller Yeah, I've never been abused.

10:22 Adam A little dusting of physical abuse?

10:26 Caller No.

10:27 Drew No one hit you with an object growing up?

10:29 Caller No, I've never abused.

10:31 Drew No one hit you with an object growing up?

10:33 Caller No.

10:33 Adam Where's your dad?

10:35 Caller He's at home with my mom.

10:38 Adam When did you leave the house?

10:41 Caller A couple of years ago. I'm 25.

10:44 Drew Right now.

10:45 Adam Are you married?

10:46 Caller No, I'm single.

10:48 Adam Divorced?

10:50 No.

10:51 Adam You have any kids?

10:52 No.

10:53 Adam What do you do? Big gal.

10:54 Caller I work. I'm a little overweight, I'll admit it.

10:58 Shocker.

10:59 Shocker.

11:00 Caller I work at a law office. I sell lingerie for a living too. So I'm going to do school. I'm almost at my bachelor's.

11:09 Adam All right. Lingerie over the phone or?

11:12 Caller No, I do home parties for ladies. It's fun.

11:14 Adam Home parties.

11:15 Caller Yeah.

11:16 Adam How does that work? They invite the ladies over and then you show them the lingerie and they buy it, huh?

11:21 Caller It's really easy to book parties for them really. Yeah, they buy lingerie and adult novelties and all kinds of good stuff.

11:29 Adam Do they just kind of personally went to manning the law offices? Who do you have come over, like people you work with?

11:36 Caller No, people call us and book parties. It's a big business in Oklahoma.

11:42 Adam All right. Well, keep on going, baby.

11:45 Drew I've come out there a couple of weeks. Going to Oklahoma City.

11:47 Caller True.

11:47 Adam You host one of those build-up parties over there.

11:50 Drew How do you know?

11:51 Adam You could do a little Q&A with Dr. Drew. I see a cardboard cut out of you by the front door. Q&A with Dr. Drew, 10, 15, 11, 30. Then we bust open the seven-layer dip. It's a real party. Dr. Drew, I have a butt plug and I'm keeping it in a Crown Royal sack. Is that considered safe? You say Crown Royal?

12:16 Drew I have questions about sizes of my plug. This one?

12:19 Adam I have a graduated series, but two of the middle ones are missing. Could I just jump ahead from the third to the sixth?

12:27 Drew Oh my God. Jessica, 24, what's going on?

12:30 Yeah. I was with a guy for four and a half years, and I tried everything I could to make it work. One of the things that broke us up is that even after having sex with him 12 times in two days, he was still masturbating seven times a day, and he still wanted to go out and cheat on me.

12:49 Drew Was he bipolar?

12:51 Yes, bipolar and later on, because of the drug overdose, became schizophrenic.

12:57 Drew Well, he don't become schizophrenic, yeah.

12:59 But anyway, so he's bipolar.

13:02 Adam Seven times a day after having sex with you 12 times in what? A week?

13:07 Drew The bipolar can do superhuman things sometimes.

13:10 Adam No kidding.

13:11 And he would actually cause sores on his penis from masturbating so much.

13:17 Adam All right. Well, I can't believe you let this find slip between your fingers. You've got to hang on with both hands. You know, this kind of stuff only comes around once in a lifetime.

13:28 I spoke to the guy's mother and his father.

13:33 Adam Comfortable.

13:33 Also had a problem of masturbating more than I would consider normal in amount of times in a day. I think seven times a day.

13:42 Drew All right. Well, Jessica, you.

13:44 Adam I'm a picture of one of those General Mills international coffee commercials.

13:48 Drew Yes. Oh, yes. The two sitting around drinking coffee with the international.

13:51 Adam Yes, I like the Irish cream. Me, I like the Moca Java. Anyway, the French Rouser. Yeah. Your kid beats off like a banshee. Yeah. Oh, his father was a classic famous Jacker himself. Oh, fade away. What do you got to talk to the mom about the dad beating off? What the? People do way too much talking.

14:13 Drew Oh, especially women.

14:15 Adam Yeah, I don't understand why.

14:17 Drew The guy couldn't pull that off.

14:18 Adam Why did she have to go talk to the mom about what the dad did?

14:21 Drew Jessica?

14:23 Well, it just, her and I had had conversations about why they had split up, why she didn't stay married to his father.

14:30 Drew To her father.

14:31 It came up to where he was overly sexually active like that, too.

14:34 Drew All right, well, here's the deal. There's somebody got some sexual abuse in here, too, because that's the other thing that you add bipolar and sexual abuse and you get severe sexual compulsivity. And so I wonder if dad also was a perpetrator.

14:48 Caller Well, his dad did go to prison for child molestation.

14:51 Drew There you go. That completes the circle. There you go. But I don't think so. Couldn't be.

14:55 Adam Couldn't be that, though.

14:55 Drew Because everybody's different.

14:58 Adam Well, here's what I've learned. It's impossible to judge. We're all God's creatures. Everything's different. Everything happens for a reason.

15:05 Drew And everyone's unique.

15:06 Adam Everyone's unique.

15:07 Drew Free right over there. Free will.

15:08 Adam That's right. And I have, you know, no more what this man's father's doing than you do your father, than you do yourself. It's impossible.

15:14 Drew Except I know that he's a perpetrator with bipolarity.

15:17 Adam Right. All right. Jessica. Well, there you go. Good times. That's good for you. You don't have any kids, do you?

15:24 Caller Yes. I have two from the same guy.

15:25 Adam One from the same one.

15:26 Caller One's a boy.

15:27 Drew From this guy?

15:28 Caller Yes.

15:29 Adam Okay. I'll tell you what I'm going to need to do just to sort of expedite things under my new plan. Drop the boy off at prison, drop the chick off at the strip club and that way we can just keep moving on. Just cut out all those bad report cards and the struggling and the flailing at junior college. Just go drop them off now. It's my head start program.

15:49 Drew Do you have to be prison?

15:51 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

15:51 Drew Okay. And then the strip club shortly.

15:53 Caller Then you would be interested to know that I have been a stripper for the last three years.

15:57 Adam All right. Now I'm going to need you to put them in a slingshot and aim them toward the sun so the kids have a chance.

16:05 Drew Everything's coming into focus now, Jessica.

16:06 Adam Okay. Jessica, could you please not crap out any more kids? A, number one. Well, if you tell me you're pregnant now, I'm going to dive through a plate glass window.

16:15 Caller Uh-oh. I can't have kids anymore.

16:18 Adam Okay, good.

16:18 Drew Why?

16:20 Caller Cervical cancer.

16:21 Adam Uh-oh. Now I'm going to hell. But it's still good if you can't have kids anymore. Is it bad? You're taking everything out?

16:29 Drew Do you have radiation, too?

16:31 Caller No, it just, nothing works properly anymore. Like the ovulation, anything like that.

16:38 Drew Oh, you'll get pregnant. Listen, if you're not taking contraceptives, you'll get pregnant again, too. If you just had a cone procedure for localized cervical cancer that is not going to make you infertile.

16:49 Caller Well, no.

16:49 Caller It's, all right, since the cervical cancer, it did go into remission on its own.

16:56 Caller The hell are you talking about?

16:57 Adam Went into remission on its own?

16:59 Drew No, she means an abnormal pap.

17:01 Caller She had periods that would last for three months, and no type of hormonal treatments ever worked. Nothing has worked. And I haven't had sex in a couple years.

17:09 Drew Jessica, were you doing drugs during that time?

17:13 Caller No, I haven't done drugs since I was 18.

17:15 I've been completely sober.

17:17 Caller I don't drink.

17:18 Adam Okay, but listen, your abnormal pap smear doesn't mean you have cancer.

17:24 Caller No, but it did come out as cancer.

17:28 Drew It's called intraepidemic. Right, it's sin that's called it.

17:33 Adam Jessica, the reason you're not getting pregnant is because you're not having sex. You will get pregnant again. Believe me, I can hear it in your voice. Please don't do that.

17:43 Drew Well, if you don't use a contraceptive, you will, okay?

17:46 Adam I know you had two kids with a sexual addict. I'm sure you didn't plan on that either. So the planning phase is not when you're stronger phases in life. It's not when you're stronger suit. So plan on not getting it.

17:57 Caller I'm using any kind of contraceptive I can.

18:01 Adam Good.

18:02 Caller If I did get pregnant right now through the contraceptive, I wouldn't have the child because I've got a child.

18:11 Drew Perfect.

18:12 Adam All right.

18:12 Drew Focus on the kids.

18:13 Adam Take care of the kids.

18:14 Drew Take care of yourself.

18:14 Adam What are you doing for money?

18:16 Caller For money? Well, I just quit dancing because I'm sick of the atmosphere. I was in college last year and I'm going back into college.

18:26 Drew Good move. Excellent move, Jessica. Keep going.

18:29 Adam Junior college though, right?

18:31 Caller Yeah. I need to start out there. Yeah.

18:33 Adam All right.

18:33 Drew Right now.

18:34 Caller All right.

18:35 Adam Why don't you just get a job? Junior college is a waste of time.

18:38 Caller Well, I just want to get the high GPA so I can get into university. I have an IQ of 138.

18:45 Caller Right.

18:45 Caller It would be a waste of time for me to not go to university.

18:50 Caller Yeah.

18:50 Adam Who's they?

18:51 Caller GPA is not real great right now.

18:54 Adam Turquoise, the transvestite stripper, totally be a waster.

18:58 Drew They told me. Oh my.

19:00 Adam All right, listen. Look, I don't want to be cruel but here's the deal. You have a three year old, you have a four year old, you go to junior college for, I'm going to be kind, seven years. Then you transfer to university. Me and my kids are 18 by the time you get out and you get that job, just go get a job. Just get a job, start working, that's fine. Stay away from this guy.

19:21 Caller Yeah, maybe a little bit of both, a little bit of school, a little bit of, take a couple of classes, learn a little history, but maybe get a job at the same time. That's right.

19:28 Adam That is sage advice. Let's hear something from Rilo Kiley, by the way, do you have, are you queued up there? We do. All right. Here's a little something off the new CD called More Adventurous. This one is called Portions for Foxes. Yeah, Rilo Kiley, everybody. More adventurous. The Name of the Owl, that was a nice song. We'll hear something else from the band. As the night wears on, Jenny Blake in studio as we speak.

24:21 Caller Hello.

24:22 Adam Quick question for the band, or at least for Jenny. Armando?

24:27 Caller Yeah, what's up?

24:28 Adam What's up?

24:29 Caller Hey, I just had a quick question for the band. I was just wondering, Jenny, when your solo album is coming out, and if you plan to start promoting that after the Coldplay tour.

24:39 Well, I just finished mastering it, and I think I'm going to put it out in January and hopefully do some touring in February or March.

24:49 Caller Cool. I know you're on Conor's label from Bright Eyes. How's that?

24:54 It's pretty cool. Dave Dondero is on the label, Willie Mason. I'm looking forward to it. Blake also is putting out another elected record on Sub Pop next year at about the same time. So it'll work well for our vacation time together.

25:10 Armando?

25:11 Caller You guys going to start writing again and try Rilo Kiley after that sometime?

25:15 Caller Probably are currently writing for the next album right now, but probably record the next album a little bit after that.

25:26 Adam Hey, Armando?

25:27 Caller Yeah.

25:28 Adam You can see them. I'm trying to think where they're going to be with Coldplay if they're coming to a town near you.

25:33 Caller Actually, they're at Junction on Saturday, which I will be at.

25:37 Adam Okay. Well, then say hi, but don't get too close. All right, buddy. All right.

25:42 Caller Thanks a lot, man.

25:43 Adam All right.

25:43 Drew Take care.

25:44 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. Rilo Kiley in studio tonight and we'll be back to talk to Drew. Fierce Commitment is a Downward Curving Penis. It's known about the operations to fix it. And a little Germany or Florida. Furthermore, I've decided we should play some Ace's accordion countdown.

26:05 Drew Michelle's here to bring it.

26:06 Adam Engineer's Michelle is here with the Ranchero music.

26:08 Always.

26:09 Adam Now, this is going to be a big night.

26:10 Ace's Ranchero countdown.

26:11 Drew No good.

26:12 You don't like that game.

26:15 Drew Who was that that was going to be a pair?

26:16 Adam Here's what it was.

26:17 Drew It was somebody's friend who was prepping them up, coming up here, and what to do.

26:21 Adam Here's what it was. It was the chick who was like Julie Moran or somebody, or not Julie Moran. It was the chick that was on with Mark McGrath on Entertainment Tonight or whatever.

26:36 Drew She had a friend who was a huge fan of the show.

26:38 Adam No, it wasn't her friend. It was her 19-year-old assistant. There's a syndrome that good-looking people have sometimes where they speak freely. They ask a lot of very innocent, insulting questions. They'll go like-

26:53 Drew Innocent and insulting.

26:54 Adam Right. They'll go like, whatever night they're on, like if they're on Wednesday night, they'll go, so you guys are only on Wednesdays? You go, now we're on every night. Okay. How long has that been going on? Twenty years. Okay. Are you here in town? Yeah.

27:08 Drew Hundred markets.

27:09 Adam Hundred markets.

27:09 Drew Twenty years.

27:10 Adam So more than just this one? Yeah. Which one is this one? What's the number on it? That's my whole family does that. What's your show? Rank Yanker? Crank.

27:18 Drew Never caught it.

27:18 Adam Crank Rankers? Crank Yankers. What's that on? The comedy show? The Comedy Station? The Comedy Central?

27:25 Caller Yeah.

27:25 Adam Is that what it's called?

27:26 Caller Yeah.

27:26 Adam It's been on for three years. Okay.

27:28 What is that? Cable?

27:29 Drew Then they throw in, never caught it.

27:30 So anyway.

27:32 Adam Well, it's implied in the confusion, but it all seems very innocent. Anyway, she came on and was basically explaining to us that her assistant was a 19-year-old flunky, was basically saying, prepping her, saying, well, this bit is good, but this bit isn't good.

27:47 Drew He liked Germany or Florida.

27:48 Adam But he did not like Ace's Mexican Ranchero.

27:51 Drew So Rilo Kiley will be the deciding vote.

27:53 Adam Will decide.

27:54 Ace's Ranchero countdown, no good.

27:57 You don't like that game.

27:59 Adam Your assistant telling you what you don't like.

28:01 Drew She made us, she played it for us.

28:03 Adam Yeah, she was like, hey, here's some valuable input from a retarded 19 year old. Thanks, sweetie. Let me grab my steno pad. What else has he got for me? All right, we'll take a quick break. Quick break. We'll be right back after this.

28:22 Loveline will be right back.

28:24 Drew The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration wants to remind you to designate before you celebrate. If you plan on drinking, always have a sober, designated driver. Law enforcement is cracking down from coast to coast. You drink and drive, you lose.

29:00 Adam There, buddy, it's Loveline. Rilo Kiley in the studio tonight. This is not them playing in the background. Jenny Lewis here tonight. Blake Sennett also in here from the band. More adventurous. Name of the CD. Here's something else off of that. They're out going to start their tour with Coldplay on the 30th, which is Sunday?

29:24 Caller I think Tuesday.

29:25 Adam Tuesday.

29:26 Caller Soon.

29:26 Adam Yeah, that's exciting.

29:28 Caller Detroit.

29:29 Adam Detroit.

29:30 Caller Not looking forward. Well, yeah.

29:32 Drew Detroit's nice town. It's coming around.

29:33 Adam Is it coming around?

29:34 Drew Coming around.

29:35 Adam It is?

29:36 Caller It's pretty scary still.

29:37 Drew Parts of it.

29:38 Caller Let's not kid ourselves. It's still like a creepy city. Parts of it.

29:44 Adam I'm trying to think. A lot of this stuff is subjective because it's not, it can't all just be done in FBI crime reports or average temperature. You'd have to go there. You know what I mean? Because everyone's a little bit different. Everyone's yardstick is a little different. I'd like to travel to every major city and just stand in the middle of it for like 20 minutes and then give it a score and move on to the next to really definitively find out.

30:09 Caller Yeah. I feel we've done that to some degree.

30:11 Caller On tour we get a chance.

30:13 Adam You do get a chance to do that.

30:13 Caller We've done a lot of national tours and a lot of them in a van where we're not insulated at all. We're self-managing ourselves out there on the roads.

30:22 Adam Detroit, not ranking up there.

30:23 Caller A lot of nice people there, you know.

30:26 Adam Say what you want.

30:27 Caller Good rock shows, but kind of scary.

30:29 Caller The city itself is pretty post-apocalyptic.

30:33 Drew But it's coming around. It's like hitting its bottom.

30:35 Adam Oh, Drew, would you know the mayor?

30:38 Drew I stayed there for a week and I saw him.

30:40 Adam Now, conversely, places like Pittsburgh will surprise you a little bit.

30:45 Drew It's true.

30:46 It's very beautiful.

30:47 Caller A lovely place.

30:48 Adam A lovely place.

30:49 Drew Somebody described it as picturesque.

30:51 Adam It is.

30:51 Caller It is.

30:52 Adam Yeah. Jack Lambert described it as picturesque.

30:55 Caller Two of our friends from New Zealand want to move to Pittsburgh. Of all the cities in the United States.

31:00 Caller New Zealand, do you know how incredible that is?

31:02 Adam It's beautiful. That's really what it should say instead of the steel city. It should say, somebody from New Zealand wants to move here. That's the best thing you could say about your city. Wow.

31:13 Caller What was the other incredible city?

31:15 Adam There you go.

31:16 Caller It was the hell and the fish market we went to.

31:18 Drew Seattle.

31:19 Adam But here's the thing.

31:20 Drew Here's Seattle.

31:21 Adam Drew, people know Seattle is nice. I think a few years ago.

31:26 Caller Birmingham.

31:27 Drew Birmingham, Alabama. We've been there.

31:29 Adam Yeah?

31:30 Caller Birmingham, also incredible.

31:31 Drew We like that hotel.

31:32 Adam Oh, we like Birmingham, too. Here's the thing, though. I don't think most people around the country know the difference between Detroit and Pittsburgh.

31:39 Drew No. Oh, no.

31:40 Adam There is.

31:41 We wouldn't know either. Are you kidding?

31:44 Adam I didn't know the difference between East and West.

31:46 Drew We would take out maps of the United States every time we traveled to go, Adam, here's where we're going.

31:50 Adam Well, we used to get.

31:51 Drew We had fight about it.

31:52 Adam Our biggest fight was Rochester because there's a Rochester, Minnesota, and there's a Rochester, New York, and that's where the fight began.

32:00 Drew Adam was angry.

32:02 Adam Angry with the city. I was talking about Rochester, New York, and you were talking about Rochester.

32:06 Caller Sounds like there's still a little resentment there.

32:08 Adam There's some bad blood.

32:09 Caller Little resentment Adam's going on.

32:11 Adam Well, here's all I'm saying. You shouldn't name the goddamn city the same name. We should decide on which one's the... Here's the deal.

32:18 Drew Blake, my fault.

32:19 Adam My fault. You should have known I was talking about New York and not Minnesota. I mean, when you say Rochester, you don't think Minnesota, you think New York, but here's my point.

32:27 Drew Mayo Clinic, dude.

32:29 Adam Okay. That's for you and your geek crew. Most people think... If someone says, I'm from Rochester, they would think New York, they would not think Minnesota. That's what I'm saying. But the fact that we have Salem, Oregon, Oregon and Salem, Mass and all this kind of stuff.

32:43 Drew Springfield everything.

32:44 Adam Thousand Springfields. It's going to lead to confusion. It just is. I mean, the whole idea of naming your city is so people know where they're going.

32:52 Drew Adam, what's the national registry?

32:53 Adam Well, here's all I'm saying. Rochester, New York takes on Rochester, Minnesota and we see who wins and then they're Rochester. The other one just goes... What's the battle? Rochester, UK or something, what's the other one? It's either the two mayors take on each other or the toughest guy or the whole town takes on each other.

33:12 Drew The fighting championship. Whatever it is. Let's talk about the local color. It reminds me about the Ranchero music. Let's get that over with. Let's do that.

33:21 Adam Drew, you're going to look at it as a teeth cleaning.

33:24 Drew No, it's a good time, but you need to get over the intro for the band.

33:28 Adam Oh, okay.

33:29 Drew That's what I mean.

33:30 Adam Well, here's what we've figured out. If you live out here in Southern California, and you hear a fair amount of ranchero music coming from cars, here's what I figured out. A lot of my Mexican brethren, air conditioners don't work in the trucks, windows down, ranchero up, therefore you hear it. See what I mean? You'll see Mexicans don't drive around with the windows up.

33:51 Drew Interesting.

33:51 Adam They like the air flowing through the locks. You know what I mean?

33:54 Drew Yeah.

33:54 Adam So point is, is you get exposed to this wonderful harmonic ranchero music. And a lot of it's accordion driven. And we try to figure out, as a matter of fact, I've never heard a ranchero song that did not have an accordion featured in it. And we try to figure out, we take a random ranchero song, and engineer's Michelle cues it up to any part in the song and hits play randomly. And we try to figure out how long before you hear an accordion.

34:23 Caller We bet. We bet. What are the stakes?

34:25 Adam Nothing. Just a little something called pride, something you can't buy.

34:29 Caller I'm going to weigh in at one second.

34:30 Drew One second.

34:32 Caller If I can take one second.

34:32 Drew Excellent bet.

34:33 Caller If I can take one second.

34:34 Adam A lifetime.

34:36 Drew By ranchero standards.

34:36 Adam By ranchero accordion standards.

34:38 Caller I'm from Echo Park. You know, I live in Echo Park, and so I hear a lot.

34:41 Adam I'm going to go with one second. You're going to go one second.

34:43 Drew Good bet.

34:43 Adam All right. Jenny?

34:44 Caller I'm going to go five and a half.

34:46 Adam Oh.

34:46 Drew Also interesting.

34:48 Caller I feel the accordion must be used tastefully.

34:50 Adam Yeah. It'd be nice.

34:51 Caller And a breath perhaps.

34:54 Adam Yeah.

34:54 Drew Yeah, perhaps.

34:55 Caller Maybe in the bridge. We're going to chime in in the bridge, and maybe there's no accordion in the bridge.

34:59 Adam You never know. You never know.

35:01 Drew This music rarely bridges anywhere.

35:04 Adam Jenny, I have to say we can't break the seconds off into tenths, though. We can only go five, we can go six. We don't have the technology to break it down into tenths. So you say five, five.

35:13 Caller I'll go five.

35:14 Adam You go five.

35:15 Caller I'll go five.

35:15 Adam Okay. Drew?

35:16 Drew Three. I'm going to split the difference.

35:18 Adam Okay. So we got one, we got three. Now that basically leaves me with immediate.

35:22 Drew Yeah, I think so. Or you could just go six, six and a half, seven.

35:26 Just go up a little bit.

35:27 Adam Or go up.

35:27 Drew Yeah.

35:28 It's a long shot, though.

35:29 Drew Or two. Oh, instead it's not a long shot. Most, most, I would say most of our-

35:33 Adam That's about half, half or a medium. All right.

35:36 Caller I think instantly is not a long shot. I was saying six, I didn't know you could take instantly. I would have taken instantly. Okay.

35:43 Adam All right. Well, I'll leave it open to you if you want. No, no, it's all right. All right. All right. So Blake's got a second, Jenny's got three. No, Jenny's got five. You got three, I got instant.

35:51 Drew Here we go. We're going to wait another five seconds. One, three, two, and go. Six seconds!

36:07 Adam Oh my god! Incredible! Dead nuts on! She's some kind of witch!

36:13 Caller Was it the bridge?

36:14 Drew Throw her in the well.

36:14 She's some kind of witch.

36:15 Adam I really sound like a witch in the well.

36:21 Oh my god.

36:23 Adam She caught the bridge.

36:24 Drew We have to see if she floats.

36:26 Adam She caught the bridge. Jenny, six seconds.

36:28 Drew Wow. Long odds. Thank you.

36:32 Adam Dead nuts on. Drew, should I do the impersonation of what went on in my house?

36:38 Drew Where this came from. Yes.

36:39 Adam Two years of remodeling my house. Here's what every morning was like over at the Corolla household. I figure about 8.15, me stumbling into the garage now with my morning wood, my coffee, and my bathrobe. Oh, you gotta go harder on this. I see, we talked about putting that scratch coat on with a notch trowel. If you put that thing on with a smooth trowel, we're not gonna be able to get the brown coat down here. That's, uh, everyone. That's every single morning.

37:16 Drew Then the police would come.

37:17 Adam Every single morning.

37:18 Drew Maybe out in front of the bat.

37:19 Adam That's how every morning started out in my life. Six seconds.

37:23 Drew Wow. Remarkable. That's talent.

37:25 Adam It really is. And it wasn't five and a half. You moved to six and pow. It could have been 6.3 to be fair. It was a long six, but solid. All right, that's how the game is played. Sal. Hey. Hey. We're going to play Germany or Florida later.

37:40 Drew Oh, good.

37:41 Adam What's up, Sal?

37:41 Drew She wins that. We have to do away with her.

37:43 Caller That's right.

37:45 Adam What's up, Sal?

37:46 Rilo Kiley Hey, how's it going? Good. First of all, I want to tell you, Adam, you probably saved my life last year. Really? From telling your whole thing about people jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge and everything.

37:58 Drew Wow, Sal.

38:00 Rilo Kiley Oh, really?

38:01 Drew We didn't tell it for that purpose, but I'm really delighted to hear it made you think of it.

38:05 Rilo Kiley I mean, you know, you'd say people would jump off. The people that survived, they'd say like, you know, the second they jumped off, they'd think, holy crap, what did I just do?

38:14 Adam Yes, I saw a special on guys that killed themselves jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, and the handful of people that did survive the leap off the Golden Gate Bridge, they all said their first thought was, what have I done? The second they stepped off.

38:32 Drew I made a huge mistake.

38:33 Adam Yeah, that's what have I done is implied in that. They stepped one foot off. As soon as they got past the point of no return, I mean, and not 30 feet down, but four inches away from the thing, oh my God, what have I done? Yeah, some of it could be reflexive.

38:50 Drew But you know what happens in that setting, you get a rush of endorphins and things, it's like a shock therapy. So your affect lifts in that moment, and you have some clarity and go, oh my God.

39:00 Adam Right.

39:00 Drew And there you go.

39:01 Adam You see your kids. So you heard us talking about that sound.

39:05 Rilo Kiley Yeah. Luckily, that was the only type of vision that I had of doing it. I couldn't think of doing it in any other way.

39:10 Adam So you were going to jump off of something?

39:14 Rilo Kiley Yeah. The, the, the tower, football stadium, the tower.

39:17 Drew Oh, are you in college now at UT?

39:21 Rilo Kiley No.

39:22 Drew Are you under treatment for your depression?

39:25 Rilo Kiley No. Never got under any. Just, just the past last year, it started kind of clearing up, I guess, and I started working out.

39:32 Drew It's still, you know, just because, you know, remember these are life threatening conditions you're dealing with. I'm glad it lifted spontaneously. But yeah, make somebody take a watch over you.

39:41 Into the monitor.

39:42 Drew Make sure if you've somebody watch a professional watches over you a little bit.

39:45 Rilo Kiley Yeah. Ever since I started working out, I just, I don't think about it anymore. All right.

39:50 Drew Good. He also is listening to classical music and taking long walks.

39:54 Adam He's running bleachers over at the stadium. Hey, all right, Sal, what do you do for a living?

40:01 Rilo Kiley Need to find a new job right now. Right now.

40:03 Drew Right now.

40:04 Adam I'm going to guess that.

40:04 Rilo Kiley I'm employed for right now.

40:06 Adam All right, buddy.

40:07 Rilo Kiley All right. Anyway, my actual question has to do with downward curvature, Peyroni's.

40:17 Drew How far down we going?

40:19 Rilo Kiley I don't know if I could really... I don't know. It just depends. Some days it seems not quite as bad. And other days it seems worse. I don't know.

40:27 Drew Well, a little down curve isn't going to hurt anything, right?

40:31 Rilo Kiley Well, the penis itself has not a decent curve, but it's just the erection itself doesn't go out straight. It hangs down.

40:41 Drew That's, that's fine.

40:43 Adam The erection hangs down like a diving board where fat guys stand on the end of it?

40:48 Rilo Kiley Yeah, exactly.

40:50 Drew What, with a curve with the fat guy standing in or just because it's just straight going down? Because it's supposed to do that.

40:57 Adam Well, does your penis have a bend in it or is it just face, head down?

41:02 Rilo Kiley It does have a downward bend. It's not crazy, crazy, but...

41:05 Adam All right. So it's got a little bend and it faces down.

41:08 Rilo Kiley Yeah.

41:08 Drew That's normal.

41:09 Adam It is?

41:10 Rilo Kiley It's like the look of some guys when they're flaccid, who have a big flaccid dork.

41:15 Adam Oh, all right. Well, listen, that's good. Does it go straight down?

41:21 Rilo Kiley Yeah. I don't know. I always hear about guys calling with this and it's a problem. And now you're saying it's okay.

41:28 Adam All right. Well, listen. Hold on. Listen, Sal. First off, you're one of these guys who converts things into problems which is something you should stop doing.

41:37 Drew And you've heard us also talk about guys that preoccupy about their penis and penis size. It really isn't about the penis.

41:43 Adam If your penis works and it doesn't hurt, then it's fine.

41:48 Caller Yeah. Well, I got a friend with the same kind of thing. And he's a real happy-go-lucky guy. Gets laid all the time. And he actually is quite delighted with his gonzo-like penis.

41:58 Drew If you have a curve that hurts your female partner, because downward curve, well, have you had anybody ever complained to you about it?

42:06 Rilo Kiley Well, that's the problem. Because of all this, I know this is the part of my head part, is that I'm a virgin still.

42:12 Adam Oh, okay.

42:13 Rilo Kiley Well, let's talk about it.

42:15 Adam Sal, okay.

42:16 Drew It's not about your penis.

42:17 Adam You know I'm a genius and I saved your life? Now, I'm going to go from, now that I've spared your life, I'm going to improve it. You got to get a little therapy, you got to get your head straight. This has nothing to do with your penis. You're obsessing on it. It's an excuse to keep you out of intimate relationship.

42:32 Drew You just heard what Blake said. His friends got something like this and he's happy to go.

42:36 Adam Blake was talking about himself, by the way. But yes, I know it still rings true. The point doesn't change.

42:42 Drew You went through some of the other band members coming in here.

42:44 Adam Right. Here's the deal. Sal, get some help, buddy. Don't focus on your penis.

42:49 Drew You get your depression taken care of.

42:50 Adam Get the good job, get the depression taken care of and flourish. Yes?

42:54 Drew All right.

42:54 Adam We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. Keep things up with new Durex warming condoms. There's sex, and then there's Durex. Yeah! Get it on, that's what I got to say. Jenny and Blake are here tonight from Rilo Kiley. Hello. Howdy. More Adventures, the name of the CD, and we'll hear something more off the More Adventures CD in the 11 o'clock hour. They're going out with Coldplay, gonna be on an extensive tour of the United States with Coldplay, which is starting this Tuesday in Detroit. Beautiful, scenic Detroit. All right, let's keep on keeping on and speak to Janelle.

44:04 Drew Janelle.

44:05 Adam You're 21.

44:06 Caller Uh-huh.

44:07 Adam What's up?

44:09 Caller Well, when I orgasm, I physically come, I squirt, and lately it's been seeming to kind of disgust my boyfriend a little bit. Right after we have sex or I come, he seems to want to hurry and get in the shower and hurry and wash the sheets and stuff like that.

44:26 Adam See, Drew, the bloom is off the nose.

44:29 Drew Guys lose it, don't they?

44:30 Adam Yeah. I told you, Drew is always like, oh man, this would just be hot forever. And I'd be like, this is a novelty that would wear off. It would just be like one of those football phones from the 80s. Like, it would be cool for the first five times it rings, but eventually you're getting tired of dialing the goddamn football.

44:44 Drew All right.

44:45 Adam You just want a regular phone.

44:46 Drew So-

44:47 Adam Know what I mean, Drew?

44:47 Caller Yeah.

44:47 Drew Is there some way you could sort of capture this so it doesn't go everywhere? Which seems to be what bothers him.

44:55 Caller I don't know. I mean, I was wondering if you knew anything, if there is any way I could control it or- No. I mean, if I can stop myself from having an orgasm, but-

45:07 Adam Yeah.

45:08 Caller Everybody's got an orgasm.

45:10 Caller Seems like a weak solution.

45:12 Drew Are you sure this is not urine?

45:14 Caller Yes. I'm 100 percent sure. Because after I have sex, I can use the bathroom.

45:20 Adam This isn't- No, go ahead.

45:22 Caller How long have you guys been together?

45:24 Caller We've been together for about two and a half years.

45:26 Adam Yeah. See? It's getting old.

45:28 Drew Yeah.

45:30 Adam What position are you in when you orgasm? Are you on top?

45:32 Caller Most of the time I'm on top, yeah.

45:35 Adam Yeah.

45:36 Drew That's what they describe.

45:37 Adam Yeah. How about if he got on top of you? Would it still work? Could you orgasm?

45:43 Caller Sometimes it works, but not always.

45:46 Adam Yeah. See, you got to roll the dice. Because on one hand, you don't get the dousing. On the other hand, you may not work.

45:53 Caller Right.

45:54 Adam Yeah. I would say that the fairly simple solution of this, since it's not like, well, can I have an orgasm without spraying on the guy? I don't think you're going to have that. It's not like, can I fart without cramping? That I could teach you to do.

46:12 You know what I mean?

46:13 Adam But this ain't that.

46:15 Drew Right. This is not something you can volitionally control.

46:17 Adam No. But I draw such a poetic picture.

46:19 Drew It was well done. It was well done. I'll keep it with me always, in fact.

46:23 Adam Yes. I'll go write it in my diary. Here's the thing. You should learn to have the orgasm with him on top of you. If you can do it, if you can do it part of the time now, I bet you can move that to all the time and then that'll save him.

46:43 Drew Find another position so he doesn't feel so inundated.

46:47 Caller Have you asked him if he feels disgusted? I mean, you drew this conclusion that...

46:52 Caller No, I haven't asked him yet. I'm a little bit nervous to ask him, are you disgusted by me?

46:58 Caller I feel two and a half years, you know, you could ask him. You could say, you know, not disgusted by you, but, you know, maybe off put a little bit by this thing that happens with your body when you have an orgasm.

47:09 Adam Yeah, and it's also, you know, your pet parrot craps on your sleeve. You're not disgusted by the bird, but you still go wash your sleeve off, right? It doesn't mean you don't like your bird anymore.

47:20 Drew No, she's just like a parrot.

47:21 Adam That's what you're saying. Just like a parrot that crapped on his belly.

47:23 Drew Yeah, she's like a crapping parrot. You can't just fart without crapping, and she has to be like a parrot crapping.

47:29 Caller I think you could discuss it with your man. Maybe that would be the best solution to start with.

47:33 Drew Let's take a break.

47:34 Adam I think you should.

47:35 Caller Yeah.

47:35 Adam But use the parrot as a metaphor, I think.

47:37 Drew Of course, yeah. It'll be moving again.

47:39 Adam Yeah, yeah. Yeah, powerful stuff. Rilo Kiley and student, I'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. Hey, buddy, it's Loveline, a man I'm not gonna lie to. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-191. Rilo Kiley is in here tonight, Jenny Lewis representing. We swapped out Blake, and we have Pierre De Reader in here, playing the bass for the band. Next week, we got a kid in from the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

48:52 Drew Yeah.

48:53 Adam That'll be nice. Then, Annie Milonakis from the Annie Milonakis Show.

48:58 Drew Which is a Make-A-Wish wish for my kids if they were in that foundation.

49:02 Adam Yeah, we produce that.

49:04 Drew I know they're dying to meet him.

49:05 Adam Really?

49:06 Drew Yes.

49:06 Adam Yeah.

49:07 Caller I think he's pretty great. I think he's pretty funny.

49:10 Drew I like whoopi.

49:14 Adam The Annie Milonakis Show is a show, my company, meaning me, Jimmy and Daniel, a third guy created and produced. Although, I didn't do anything on it.

49:23 Drew Jimmy's brother is really the one who acted with it.

49:25 Adam Right. Right, John. This is one of these things where it was like six months ago or eight months ago, like, yeah, we got Annie Milonakis show on MTV. I was like, so what? That kid? What do you mean? What the hell are we going to do with him?

49:40 Caller Who is that kid? Where did they find that kid?

49:42 Adam Well, what happened with Annie Milonakis is-

49:46 Drew Jimmy found him.

49:47 Adam Yeah. What happened was is I was working on Jimmy Kimmel Live and the Jimmy Kimmel Show, I think, probably as it's known now. And some one of the writers or Jimmy or somebody, maybe it was Jimmy, just found this kid on the internet singing a song called The Super Bowl is Gay. And Jimmy immediately was smitten by Andy. And Jimmy brought him out here to be a correspondent. And the next CNO, he was doing the announcing on the show. But if you can imagine, he didn't jive well with the sensibilities of corporate Disney and ABC. So they got rid of Andy. But Jimmy always felt like we're going to do something with you one day, boy. And, you know, six, eight months later, we pitched this thing to MTV or our company did. I mean, Jimmy and Daniel worked it out. And next thing you know, we're doing a show with Andy Melanakis. And I was working on something else and I was just like, what the hell? What do you mean? What are we going to do with this show? And it's like, hey, Entertainment Weekly. It's the hottest show. So what the hell do I know? Meanwhile, I'm just sitting back, catching the paycheck, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. So Andy, International Sensation, Andy Villanocas is going to be in here. I have no gauge for talent. I, you know, I think I'm talented and he's not. He's not even realized. I got to flip around, baby. Yeah.

51:10 Drew My kids are huge.

51:11 Adam I got the carbon side of that copy. Huge. Really?

51:14 Drew Boys.

51:15 Adam Boys.

51:15 Drew This is their, this is their three stooges.

51:17 Adam Oh, right.

51:18 Drew Andy is their three stooges.

51:18 Adam Well, it's a good show. All right. And it just goes to show you, I mean, to be, not, and Andy's a unique talent, no doubt about it, but we took all the super talented people, writers, directors and producers and guys we worked with at Crank Anchors and The Man Show and stuff. We took a good group of people and put them with him, and that's why the show is as good as it is.

51:41 Drew Interesting.

51:42 Adam Yeah. It's like, Drew, if you worked with good people, you would have a good show.

51:44 Drew There you go.

51:45 Adam Yeah. All right. What are we doing? We're taking some phone calls?

51:49 Drew Let's do that. Let's do that. Yes. Did you introduce Pierre?

51:52 Adam Yeah, I did.

51:52 Rilo Kiley Okay.

51:53 Adam And Drew wants to know if it's a Dutch name?

51:56 Rilo Kiley It is.

51:56 Drew It's Dutch.

51:57 Adam See? Drew's smart. Not smart enough to work with good people, but smart. Bob?

52:02 Yes.

52:03 Adam 29?

52:05 Caller Yes, sir.

52:06 Adam Are you on a speaker phone or a cell phone?

52:09 I'm on a regular phone now.

52:10 Thank you. You were on a speaker phone.

52:12 Adam Thank you. What's up?

52:15 I have an interesting question for you. Been married three years, been with my wife eight, a total of eight years. In the last few weeks, she has been fantasizing about being with a woman. I noticed a few weeks ago she's making comments about women's bodies at the beach or at the mall. I thought it was funny and apparently, it's not funny. And the fantasy she's been having led her to talk to me about she wants to be with a woman.

52:51 Drew Okay. Now, what can you tell us about her and her history prior to you guys getting together?

52:57 Her history? Her last boyfriend had actually almost killed her. Domestic violence.

53:06 Drew And to give us about her dad and mom.

53:09 Adam Yeah, chaos, baby.

53:10 Drew Must have been a drug addict dad who was filing.

53:12 Actually, her mom and dad were married. The only thing that ever happened to her dad, her biological father, was he was in a bad accident at work. He was caught in a fire. And his, he was basically disabled after that. So they didn't get a lot of time together after that. And she was like 10 at the time.

53:40 Drew So, well, now wait a minute. What happened to him exactly?

53:43 Well, he just lost movement in his arms and they amputated his legs.

53:50 Rilo Kiley So, yeah.

53:51 Adam But he was home then full time, right?

53:55 Yeah. And then they, the mom and dad divorced.

54:00 Adam And so then she stopped having contact with him?

54:04 She had contact with him, but basically it's kind of like a holiday contact.

54:08 Does she ever talk about what it was like before he got in the fire?

54:12 Adam What's missing? When he had arms, did he use them to beat her?

54:15 Drew Yes.

54:17 Adam That would sound adorable, but you know what I mean?

54:18 Did he beat the wife or?

54:20 Drew Either one.

54:20 Adam We're talking about either one.

54:21 Drew Both are important.

54:22 Oh, no. Apparently he was a great, great father. What I get from it is he would go to the bar after work.

54:32 Drew There we go.

54:33 As far as any violence, she's never said anything about that.

54:38 Drew You might ask her about that because she may have a lot of guilt about that. When something like that happens, oftentimes a lot of sins are dismissed.

54:46 Adam Here's what we always just hear in this show. We don't really hear sexual. We just hear chaos.

54:51 Caller Exactly. That's where I was coming from because I want to know.

54:58 Drew Well, you understand that what she's doing is you're a nice, available, quiet guy, and she cannot tolerate that, so she has to stir things up by creating some chaos in your relationship by saying, well, let's have a lesbian relationship into this. Then when you touch the woman that's in the bed with the three of you, she will freak out and use this as a reason to either end this relationship or create the necessary chaos.

55:19 Adam Yeah, Bob, this is-

55:20 Drew Don't do it.

55:21 Adam Yeah.

55:22 Drew Well, I don't want to. It's a setup.

55:24 It's a trap.

55:25 Adam It's the physical. It's really a physical equivalent. Does this dress make my ass look fat? Don't answer.

55:32 Caller I cannot believe that you guys couldn't tell this car was bogus. You guys are pretty good about that.

55:38 Drew That was good. That was a good one. That was a very good one, Bob. See, that's what I'm saying.

55:41 Adam You got specific information in there with the fire.

55:45 Drew You set us up in such a way that we couldn't have questioned. The fire thing was interesting and shocked us and pushed us back.

55:52 Adam There may be some truth to that.

55:55 Drew No.

55:56 Adam Zero?

55:57 Drew No. No. He's saying no. It's all made up.

55:59 Adam He's saying no?

55:59 Drew Amputations. Yeah. It's all made up. That's good. Then you didn't say anything that put somebody in the present in danger that we had to address. You didn't break the rules.

56:09 Adam Right.

56:10 Drew So it's good. It's perfect. The perfect focus call.

56:12 Adam It's awesome.

56:13 Drew Well done.

56:13 Caller You guys, excuse me for doing that, but you guys get everybody.

56:17 Drew Not you. You're good.

56:18 Adam Not you, Bob.

56:18 Drew You're good, Bob. Well done.

56:19 Caller You did these guys tonight, so.

56:21 Drew You did it.

56:21 Caller I listen to your show every night.

56:23 Drew Thanks, Bob. I was entertained by that. It's fine.

56:27 Adam Well, here's how I feel about bogus calls as I've said many times. If somebody said, you guys have to take 33 calls a night or you can't go home, I would be angry because this wouldn't count. Right. You know what I mean? Right. But if we get to leave at midnight every night, I don't care if it's one long bogus call, as long as I get to leave.

56:46 Drew Yeah.

56:46 Adam You know what I'm saying?

56:47 Caller Yeah.

56:48 Adam It's like working for the post office.

56:49 Drew But I get angry when I get stupid bogus calls, the people stick to the clearly are bogus.

56:55 Adam We get insulted when people don't put forth an effort.

56:59 Drew The truth. Then they won't be truthful.

57:01 Adam They won't fess up.

57:02 Drew Yeah.

57:03 Adam Right.

57:03 Caller But maybe there's something good to gleam from even a bogus call.

57:06 Drew Yes. Always. Yes. Always. Absolutely. If they're done properly, if they make sense.

57:09 Adam We say that all the time. If somebody calls and says, my husband's alcoholic and he's beating on me and it's bogus, well, somebody's listening as an alcoholic husband is beating on him, so it doesn't matter. It's like saying you can't learn anything from having a fire drill.

57:23 Right.

57:23 Adam Because there was no actual fire.

57:25 Right.

57:26 Adam Plenty to learn.

57:27 Speaking of, in honor of you guys today, my smoke detector was chirping and I replaced the battery instantaneously.

57:34 Well done.

57:34 Adam Wow.

57:35 Yes.

57:35 Adam We haven't had one of those in a while.

57:38 It's been a while.

57:39 Adam Are we? And it's one of the part, one of the thing, one aspect of the show I miss. I do miss that, that Drew, stop.

57:46 What is that?

57:46 Adam I bet Drew, here's the thing. Your mic is, something's up with it.

57:50 Drew Yeah.

57:51 Adam You've punched it and moved it eight times in the last 11 seconds.

57:55 Drew Move it back.

57:56 Adam No, but Drew.

57:57 Can you turn it off while you do that or push the cough button perhaps?

58:00 Adam I got an idea, Drew. Why don't you just put it where you want it and not handle it so much.

58:05 Drew Do I have a cough button here? I don't see one.

58:06 Adam No, he doesn't have a cough button.

58:07 Drew He has a cough button here.

58:08 Adam Drew punches the mic. I've been letting him. Usually, I bust his chops on the fact that he actually whacks the mic, oftentimes with his forehead.

58:15 Drew Glasses.

58:15 Adam He breaks it up. He hits it with his glasses a lot of times. When he talks, he punches it, he swings his mug into it. He literally makes contact with the mic six to eight times a night.

58:25 Drew Sure.

58:25 Adam Which is a strange thing. Now, I know you say you have no hand-eye coordination, yet you give people injections for a living, which sounds dangerous. Sounds dangerous. For someone who can't control their extremities, it just seems dangerous to me.

58:39 Drew Only miss some of the time.

58:40 Adam Here's my point, Drew. What do you have? Do you think you have something? I'm not coming at you, but I just mean we've talked a thousand times about, let me throw it to break before you slam the mic in and put the thing over, and stuff like that, but yet you can't stop yourself from doing it.

58:57 Drew This is sort of an OCD quality that.

58:59 Adam But do you have that?

59:00 Drew Oh, yeah.

59:01 Adam You do?

59:01 Drew Oh, yeah.

59:02 Adam Well, no, I know you're a motivated guy.

59:05 Drew No, but there's OCD stuff too, for sure.

59:08 Adam You have that?

59:08 Drew For sure.

59:10 Adam Really? Okay.

59:11 Caller Like I must move the microphone before I get up.

59:15 Drew It's in you. You can't even.

59:17 Adam He doesn't know he's doing it.

59:18 Caller Yeah.

59:19 Drew The other thing is, I feel like I have flippers for hands. If I have a glass of wine, I will knock over all the glasses on the table.

59:24 Adam All right.

59:26 Drew I mean, it's unbelievable sometimes.

59:29 Adam But here's the thing, Drew. Here's what I'm saying. It's like a guy who says-

59:34 Drew Threats like that.

59:35 Adam What I'm saying, there are a lot of guys who have excessive underarm sweat.

59:41 Drew Where are we going with this?

59:42 Adam Well, here's what I'm saying. If they're going out on a date or to a job interview, they'll not wear a tight fitting dark button up shirt that shows it off. You know you have flippers for hands. Why do you handle the mic so much?

59:54 Drew That's the OCD thing.

59:56 Adam Okay. All right.

59:58 Jumping on tendency.

59:59 Drew By the way, that's what all this is about.

1:00:02 Adam I know, Drew just like he fidgets, he bangs around.

1:00:05 Drew If I keep my hands moving, I will stay away from the mic. If I try to, it's coming out.

1:00:09 Adam Well, can we get you a tennis ball to squeeze or something?

1:00:12 I'll bring you toys, Drew.

1:00:13 Drew Yeah, but he'll get freaked out if my hands are moving. If my hands are not moving.

1:00:17 Adam Now, hold on. Here's what it sounds like. Drew will try to open a CD and it will be like this. He'll be monkeying with it, he'll be fudging with it, he'll be fiddling with it, he'll be clasping it. Then I'll go, Drew, Drew, stop that sound. Ten minutes later, it will be like. Just tapping it out.

1:00:34 Drew Well, right now, this is what I'd like to see what it does to you.

1:00:38 Adam I'll get you a slipper or something you could chew on it. Yeah. I do that, but just don't do the part where you tap it. Yeah, where you tap it, just hold it in the air and do it.

1:00:47 Drew Okay.

1:00:47 Adam You got a motor in you, buddy. It's passionate, man. It's true. Passionate, passionate, man.

1:00:52 Drew Think you took 12 years to put this all together?

1:00:55 Adam I didn't know what the actual affliction you had was, if anything at all. I was just curious why you couldn't hold still. But you don't have that, you don't have-

1:01:05 Drew It's really an anxiety disorder. It's what's either of the two.

1:01:07 Caller It's all that coffee you drink.

1:01:09 Drew And the coffee. Yeah.

1:01:09 Adam But the thing about Drew is-

1:01:10 Caller It's cut to the chase here.

1:01:11 Adam He's a good student. Good students-

1:01:14 Drew That's OCD stuff.

1:01:15 Adam No, but here's the thing. Most of the guys I know who can't sit still, they can't really focus. An hour in a library is like 10 years in a library for them. They have that motor and I got to get up, I got to move around. You don't normally have that, I got to get up and I got to move around and I'm going to bury my face in a textbook for four hours and concentrate. It's a weird marriage you have.

1:01:37 Drew But you have to harness it.

1:01:39 Adam Geek meets spaz. It's strange.

1:01:41 Drew It's amazing. It's a harnessed spaz.

1:01:44 Adam Yeah. Eric. What's up, Eric?

1:01:51 I got to go to Florida for you.

1:01:54 Drew Now, we know Eric and we know Eric. Eric's the post office guy. Hey, what's up, Drew?

1:01:57 How's it going?

1:01:58 Adam See?

1:01:58 Drew Yeah.

1:01:59 Adam See the mine?

1:02:00 Drew That does the Adam impersonations.

1:02:02 Right, but not tonight.

1:02:04 Drew Not tonight.

1:02:04 Okay. Adam doesn't dig that. But hey, Adam, every time-

1:02:07 Adam Hold on a second. You say, don't dig it. I beg you to do it every time.

1:02:12 Drew No, no. Last time, you sort of got mad or something.

1:02:14 Adam No, it was the time before that. I begged you to do it last time. You didn't want to do it.

1:02:19 Well, if we do the Germany or Florida, you still want to hear it. I'll go back and I'll get my notes and I'll do some for you.

1:02:24 Adam That's right. You didn't have your notes. Go find your notes. All right. Give us a Germany. Here's how Germany or Florida works. He reads the bizarre story and then we guess is it Germany or Florida. Go ahead, Eric. Okay.

1:02:34 Caller I will. Just real quick, every time you talk about the alternative fuel cars and how we had VW buses in 1974 that got the same gas mileage.

1:02:44 Drew Yeah.

1:02:44 Adam 69.

1:02:45 Drew Yeah.

1:02:46 Caller The difference is that those things made 40 horsepower and now they make 150. They were virtually unusable before because they were so powerless.

1:02:54 Adam Well, here's the deal. I had a buddy who had a VW van. We used to pack eight people in it and go to Zuma Beach and we had a good time. How fast were you going? Well, first off, we were all in love, so it didn't matter how fast we were going, man.

1:03:10 Caller Now, here's the thing.

1:03:12 Adam Obviously, they didn't have side curtain airbags and impact pillars and crush zones and stuff like that and obviously, they weren't going 110. But they worked and they worked just fine and they got the same mileage and they held three more people. So I'm just saying, where's the quantum leap in technology?

1:03:29 Caller My only point is if they tried to sell somebody a 40-horsepower car now, nobody would buy it because they're spoiled by...

1:03:35 Adam Here's what I'm saying. The 86 Honda CRX was a pretty peppy, fun car to drive. Almost a sports car and that thing got 50 miles to the gallon. Same as the Prius. So touche, my friend.

1:03:46 Caller Here we go. That's why you make the big bucks.

1:03:48 Adam Germany or Florida. That's right. He worked the post office, graveyard. Go ahead.

1:03:51 Caller Germany or Florida. I work at a print shop, but that's okay. A 20-year-old man was arrested after he walked into the office of the telephone sales company he worked for wearing a trench coat and armed with a shotgun, two handguns, and a sword. He proclaimed himself to be a vampire hunter and shot one of his coworkers point blank in the head. Germany or Florida.

1:04:12 Caller Germany.

1:04:13 Adam It all felt Floridian until we heard about the sword and the vampires.

1:04:16 Drew Sword and vampires says Germany to me.

1:04:18 Adam Germany. Is everyone going to Germany?

1:04:20 Caller I think we haven't heard about it.

1:04:21 Adam Pierre, you're on.

1:04:23 Drew I'm going Germany. By the way, I'm on a horrible run. Anything I say, be careful. I'm going Germany.

1:04:28 Adam Drew has been snake bitten.

1:04:32 Drew Ten times.

1:04:32 I felt like we were led in by trench coat and American and guns and things so.

1:04:36 Adam Right.

1:04:38 Drew Shotguns, Florida.

1:04:40 Caller But the sword could be the vampire hunter.

1:04:43 I think that's the trick.

1:04:45 Adam What's everyone go? What do you guys?

1:04:47 Drew I'm staying in Germany.

1:04:47 Adam Everyone's going to Germany. I'm going Florida just to mix it up. Eric, is it Germany or Florida?

1:04:53 Caller It is Florida.

1:04:57 Adam Hold on, Drew.

1:04:57 Caller Oh my God.

1:05:00 Drew She's a witch.

1:05:02 Caller Drew is.

1:05:03 Drew I'm bewitched.

1:05:04 Adam Drew, you.

1:05:05 Drew Somebody put a spell on me.

1:05:06 Adam Yeah. Jenny, you went Germany, right?

1:05:09 Caller I went Germany.

1:05:09 Drew Still was. It's her fault that I screwed up.

1:05:11 Adam Drew, you said that about Dave, man.

1:05:14 Caller Is she also a witch?

1:05:15 Adam Yeah. You called Dave a she witch.

1:05:17 Drew I called him a warlock.

1:05:19 Adam Here's the. Drew, you are one for seven.

1:05:23 Drew At least. No, no. I think it's higher than that.

1:05:26 Adam This is more than a slump.

1:05:29 Drew Yeah. It's like I'm bewitched. Somebody cast a spell on me, obviously.

1:05:33 Adam Yeah. Eric.

1:05:34 Drew It's you machine.

1:05:36 Adam You don't realize how seriously Dr. Drew takes his stuff and what you're doing to his confidence and possibly his marriage.

1:05:43 Drew My soul.

1:05:43 Adam In his soul.

1:05:44 Caller All right.

1:05:45 Adam Meanwhile, I'm happy. He's the only one to go Florida in the group. So Eric, I'm going to need you to get your list of Adam-isms and read them back to us.

1:05:52 Caller I have my list here, but I am cold, so I have to grant me a little bit of leeway.

1:05:57 Adam All right.

1:05:58 Caller Okay, because I haven't scanned through this in quite a long time. It was about six months ago I called you last time and did this.

1:06:02 Adam All right. Just give us a little Adam, please.

1:06:05 Caller Okay.

1:06:06 Caller My dad has no idea what time the show is on. Blah, blah, blah. My dad is a huge pussy. I'm going to kick him right in the nuts. Crank Anchor is on tonight at Comedy Center. Well, Drew, I tell you, people will call this yours. Let's recharge. I used to do a little boating in the southpaw in the boxing. You need some red wine. You know what's my medicine, Drew? I beat off the taboo.

1:06:24 He has it all. Yes, he does.

1:06:26 Rilo Kiley I've heard that in a while.

1:06:27 Caller He's pussy.

1:06:29 Adam I just got a little Rodney Dangerfield in it. Maybe a little Adam.

1:06:32 Drew But it's all the things you say. The delivery is one thing, but those are the things you say.

1:06:36 Adam Give Crank Anchor a plug.

1:06:38 Rilo Kiley Hey, how are you doing? Oh, look at your hair.

1:06:41 Adam Give Crank Anchor the last plug like three years ago.

1:06:44 Drew He called us originally like a year ago. Six months ago. No, six months ago is when he got mad at him.

1:06:48 Adam All right. Eric, go ahead, buddy. Give me a couple more.

1:06:51 Caller This is the weakest list I have. It just happened to be the one I grabbed. But anyhow, I'll put it down to Rodney Dangerfield here.

1:06:57 Adam So you're going to put a little more gravel in there. Here you go.

1:07:00 Caller Here, I'll plug one nostril.

1:07:02 Caller Go ahead.

1:07:03 Caller These pussy politicians, listen, you do what we tell you to, that's your job is to be posting parking enforcement with your right-hand drive chevette and these whack jobs and their nutball religions. Listen, all these strip clubs, these DJs, they're all the same guy, you know, they got the ponies, they all have fanny packs, and the Britney's stage five, Britney's stage five. Well, I tell you, I'm a hairy guy. My asshole's like fighting Santa Claus in the mouth. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's all I got right now.

1:07:25 Adam All right, Eric, that's solid.

1:07:26 Caller That's good.

1:07:27 Adam All right, call back in six months. All right, buddy.

1:07:29 Drew You've been redeemed.

1:07:30 Adam All right.

1:07:32 Caller You said all these things. You said these things.

1:07:34 Drew Yes, he has said them.

1:07:35 Adam He has said them. Yeah, but doing an impersonation of an impression of somebody, it's not just good enough just to say what they said in this sort of cadence again. It wasn't quite that. It was, I give it a six.

1:07:45 Drew Pierre could do a better job.

1:07:46 Adam Pierre could do better. Yeah. Pierre, you got better?

1:07:51 Caller I give it a six. No, I don't have better. Buses, buses, buses. I don't know what that is at all.

1:07:59 Adam Alex? Hey.

1:08:03 For a while now, I've been thinking about becoming a therapist. And see, I guess I'm just wondering if this is a healthy career choice. Because I've noticed that I have a pattern of becoming attracted to people. Like a lot of my friends, mainly females, will talk to me about their issues. And I have a habit of becoming attracted to them after hearing their issues.

1:08:31 Adam Well, you probably were into them before they started telling you too, though, weren't you?

1:08:36 Well, that's what I'm wondering. If this is just me overanalyzing the situation or if this is just normal teenager behavior.

1:08:42 Drew Let me give you two books to read if you're really interested in trying to figure this out. First of all, if you're interested in human behavior and neurobiology, go ahead and go into it. There's a book called The Drama of the Gifted Child that specifically talks about caretakers and why we become caretakers. Guess what? People that are drawn to being caretakers tend to be codependent, tend to have issues, tend to be perfect for other people. Then I wrote my book Cracked about this stuff.

1:09:09 Adam Oh, I knew this was coming.

1:09:11 Drew No, I did.

1:09:12 Adam All right.

1:09:13 Drew It's a different kind of an exploration of the same topic.

1:09:18 Adam It's a fast read, Alex.

1:09:19 Drew Yeah.

1:09:20 Adam So fast, I didn't read it.

1:09:21 Drew So fast, you never got near reading.

1:09:23 Adam I'm not a reader.

1:09:23 Drew A page.

1:09:24 Adam I believe it poisons the mind.

1:09:25 Drew A page, a chapter.

1:09:27 Adam Well, look, it would be worse if I just read the first page and then said I never read the rest of it. Never buying it is probably just a better way to go.

1:09:35 Drew Your wife's never read it. Oh, she read it. She liked it.

1:09:37 Adam Did she? Okay.

1:09:39 Drew I think she's such a read.

1:09:39 Adam I'll have her tell me about it if we start talking again. Alex?

1:09:43 Caller Yeah.

1:09:44 Adam There you go, buddy. Don't be scared to help people. And don't be scared just because you get a boner when you're talking to girls about their problems.

1:09:50 Caller You don't necessarily have to act out on it.

1:09:52 Drew I'm serious. You read those two books. It talks about boundaries and those things. That's what you need. You need some education on that.

1:09:58 Adam What percentage of therapists do you think have feelings about? I bet an alarming-

1:10:05 Drew You're supposed to have feelings about your patients.

1:10:06 Adam Well, you know what I mean.

1:10:08 Drew Oh, you mean like the feelings they want to act on?

1:10:10 Adam I just mean feelings. A little further along than the feelings you have for engineer's Michelle and engineer's Michelle has for anything with a penis. You know what I'm saying?

1:10:22 Drew You are supposed to feel very deeply for your clients, but you're supposed to be- it's a contained feeling.

1:10:29 Adam But what about-

1:10:29 Drew It doesn't feel like it's going to get out of control.

1:10:32 Adam Here's what I'm saying. How often is there a male-female therapeutic relationship where one or the other does not have those feelings?

1:10:42 Drew It's not working if you're not having that. That's the point.

1:10:44 Adam I mean feelings of I'm falling in love. It's sensual feelings.

1:10:49 Drew The clients, the patients, experience that commonly.

1:10:52 Adam Yeah. I would assume that because especially females who are having a connection with a male, probably have that where the line gets blurry.

1:11:03 Drew They need to work that out. They do? Yeah. That's the work.

1:11:07 Adam When you talk about that creepy part of it where like I'm into you.

1:11:10 Drew Oh, they do sometimes. But the therapist may feel deeply for the patient, but they don't eroticize it. It doesn't become an erotic feeling.

1:11:18 Adam Yeah, except for you hear about it all the time.

1:11:20 Drew Oh, they're sick people that are therapists that violate the boundaries. Yeah.

1:11:23 Adam Well, that's my thing.

1:11:24 Caller Thoughts are thoughts.

1:11:26 Drew Thoughts are fried. Thoughts and usually, you see the whole thing in therapy, you learn to read your own what's evoked in you by the other person. You read them. So you sit and you have all these feelings, and then you learn to read them and react to them. I know about the other person. It's not like you'd have it in the outside world where it means you're something you want to follow through on. It's impossible. It's unthinkable.

1:11:46 Adam I know I'm asking a question that can't be answered, but I just would imagine that there's feelings that, and I see feelings of sensual feelings.

1:11:55 Drew Erotic. Erotic feelings. That's not very, if you have an erotic feeling for a patient, it means they're evoking that in you, and that you read that as a histrionic or borderline or some boundary violation that the patient's trying to get, and you see-

1:12:10 Adam Becoming cathartic now.

1:12:11 Drew No, no, and so you learn, well, that's actually what the book was about. The book was about-

1:12:15 Adam Oh, which one?

1:12:15 Drew Well, I learned to crack my book about what people who are disturbed evoke in caretakers.

1:12:23 Adam Uh-huh, all right.

1:12:25 Drew And what they need from you is just to be there and to have all those feelings and to tolerate it and to be present with them while they come up against those boundaries. That's it, that's your job.

1:12:34 Adam I think a lot of therapists are, I think therapists are not unlike cops in the sense that there's a lot of folks that could easily be on the other side of the law-

1:12:44 Drew Well, that's what Alex is doing.

1:12:45 Adam Who are wearing badges now. It doesn't make them bad, it's that guy. You know, we know, we all know people that could just never be, I don't think young Blake was in here 20 minutes ago, just wouldn't be a cop, but he wouldn't be a criminal. The guys that make great cops would probably make pretty decent criminals too, if they ever had to.

1:13:05 Drew That's what Alex is fiddling with. He feels like I'm codependent, I'm getting enmeshed with these people. Should I become a therapist? I'm attracted to that, but maybe that's not good for me.

1:13:14 Caller He's 19.

1:13:15 Adam He just needs to get laid. We'll take ourselves a little break, Rilo Kiley in studio tonight, and we'll be right back after this.

1:13:25 Caller Hello, who is this?

1:13:26 Drew This is Loveline.

1:13:27 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:13:29 Rilo Kiley Loveline will be right back.

1:13:55 Adam Yeah, buddy, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew. You guys just missed quite a yarn I spun about the hanging door. Such exciting stuff. Rilo Kiley in Studio Tonight, More Adventurous, name of the CD, and we're going to hear something else off of that. We're going to take one phone call, and then we're going to hear a song. Melissa?

1:14:17 Yeah.

1:14:18 Adam You're 22? What's up, Babydoll?

1:14:22 Caller Well, I have a question. I am really hairy and is to the point where I've been called Sasquatch and I'm really embarrassed about it.

1:14:33 Drew That's awful.

1:14:34 Adam Good stuff, yeah. Unless it was by an Indian, which in this case, it's going to get a little bit of that.

1:14:38 Drew What's your question?

1:14:40 Caller Well, I was wondering if there's like hormones or should I just go for like razor hair removal? Because like-

1:14:45 Drew Yeah, the flash, the big area hair- See that? The vet just hit the mic again. The large area hair removal is, yeah, the flash lasers, that sort of thing. And you also might want to get a medical workup. Has this been this way your whole life?

1:15:03 Caller Well, it started off like I've always been hairy, but it's never been like thick and quite embarrassing.

1:15:09 Adam Well, I mean, you're 22, it's on now. It doesn't hit when you're 14.

1:15:14 Drew Yeah, but you hit when you're 17.

1:15:15 Adam You could see it, but it comes on. Yeah.

1:15:19 Drew Yeah.

1:15:20 Caller Definitely thicker, like it's almost like pubic hair thick.

1:15:23 Adam Where is it?

1:15:25 Caller Around my belly button and on my back.

1:15:28 Adam Yeah.

1:15:29 Drew So you want to get checked for something called congenital adrenal hyperplasia, and you want to get checked for as heresieutizing tumors. You want to get checked for, it's usually a familial thing, but you can check for other endocrine problems that can be associated with it.

1:15:42 Adam How's the family doing? Are they hairy?

1:15:45 Caller No, not really. I'm the only one. I mean, I have a Mexican background, but...

1:15:49 Adam Oh, really?...

1:15:49 Caller not really any of my Mexican family is...

1:15:52 Adam Yeah, you don't hear hairy.

1:15:53 Drew You definitely want to see an endocrinologist.

1:15:54 Adam Lazy you here once in a while, but no one's... I mean, I'm saying you hear it. I don't say it.

1:15:59 Caller And this has just happened...

1:16:00 Adam You don't hear hairy...

1:16:01 Caller .in the last couple years. So could it all be related to a hormonal imbalance?

1:16:06 Drew Well, that's congenital adrenal hyperplasia and also what are called androgenizing tumors.

1:16:10 Caller So you would see an endocrinologist.

1:16:13 Drew Absolutely.

1:16:13 Adam So do that. Make sure there's nothing wrong with you because otherwise you have a more serious problem than something superficial like this.

1:16:20 Drew A plastic surgeon or somebody who does hair removal.

1:16:22 Adam Yeah. Everybody's made nice strides in this department over the last few years.

1:16:28 Drew Yeah.

1:16:29 Adam But I can tell you I had that laser thing on my neck where I was getting my neck scratched into S.

1:16:35 Drew You didn't go back.

1:16:36 Adam I went two times. Screw Dr. Marcel. He charged me full price. Oh, Jesus Christ. But 80 bucks worth of gas driving out to his office wherever the hell it was.

1:16:46 Drew Seal Beach.

1:16:47 Adam Melissa. Yes. Also, you're just going to have to hook up with a guy who's cool with this stuff.

1:16:54 Caller Yeah. My boyfriend says he doesn't care, but I-

1:16:56 Adam All right. We'll leave it at that. All right. Do what you can, but you got a guy who doesn't care. That's cool. Yeah.

1:17:03 Drew Guys are very adaptable.

1:17:04 Caller Yeah.

1:17:06 Adam Here's the thing though, and no one really ever says this. We just keep telling ladies, oh, go fix this, go fix that, go take this off. We tell the same thing to guys. Here's the deal. Just marry someone who doesn't give an ass, and you're in pretty decent shape. I know women not as much as guys, but find someone who doesn't care, take his word for it, and get on with your life. Start cranking out them hairy kids. You know what I mean?

1:17:30 Drew It's their song, speaking of hairy kids.

1:17:32 Adam Give birth to some gerbils. Yeah. Let's hear a little song, yeah?

1:17:37 Drew Yeah.

1:17:37 Adam How are we doing there, engineers, Michelle? All ready to go. You queued up?

1:17:41 Drew Oh yeah.

1:17:42 Adam All right. This song is called I Never. Yeah. Rilo Kiley, everybody. Really nice song. Is that a full orchestra? Is that all scored and everything? Yeah.

1:21:19 Caller We had a string section. Our friend Nate wrote the string arrangements.

1:21:23 Adam It's really nice.

1:21:24 Caller Thanks.

1:21:25 Adam A little throwback, a little Tammy Wynette or something, and a little coal miner's daughter or something going on there. That was nice. You have a great voice. I was talking about me. Yeah. No, it was awesome. Drew, where are we going?

1:21:46 Caller You want me to do another impression?

1:21:48 Adam Do me. Somebody do a good me. Hey, if you can do me good enough, I'll let you do me full-time. The whole show. I'll go home.

1:21:55 Caller Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:21:56 Adam That's all I can really do.

1:21:57 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah.

1:22:00 Drew That's all I got to do. Blah, blah, blah.

1:22:02 Caller Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:22:03 Drew Oh, he's good.

1:22:04 Adam That is good.

1:22:05 Rilo Kiley Wow.

1:22:06 Adam Yeah. You have to change the name, though. I don't know if they're going to buy it from Pierre. This is Pierre.

1:22:10 Caller Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm just trying on a suit.

1:22:14 Adam I don't know. Emily?

1:22:15 Yes, hi.

1:22:16 Adam Well, listen, it's definitely better and I could play the bass. So that's for sure. Let's switch. Go ahead, Emily.

1:22:21 Hey, okay. About five weeks ago, I was hanging out with some friends and I smoked some Chronic. And for like a couple days, like three or four days after, I would go for like a couple hours and then I'd be high again and then a couple hours. And this is not bogus.

1:22:44 Adam No, I know. This is, you're lightweight.

1:22:46 Drew What do you mean high? What would you experience?

1:22:50 Like, kind of lightheaded, you know? Like, not lightheaded, but like, well, you're, you're a doctor. You've probably never been high, but like, hey, Drew, it's cool.

1:23:06 Drew Is she high now?

1:23:07 Adam I don't know. I feel high now. At least got a good contact.

1:23:11 Drew Emily.

1:23:12 Adam Listen, your lightness. This is what happens. Pot is too good now.

1:23:16 Drew Is it just pot you're smoking?

1:23:17 Yeah, it was just pot.

1:23:19 Adam Yeah.

1:23:20 Good pot. Well, I'm on a couple of pills for ADHD and stuff.

1:23:25 Drew What are you taking?

1:23:27 Well, okay. My doctor said that risperidol would help me connect the dots.

1:23:34 Adam Is that risperidol?

1:23:35 Drew Yeah. What else?

1:23:37 Ritalin.

1:23:37 Adam You connect the dots.

1:23:39 Drew So is there alcohol in your family?

1:23:41 No, not at all.

1:23:43 Drew Nowhere.

1:23:43 Adam All right. Well, look, here's our rule. Emily, we're not uptight, but if you're on meds, you should not be smoking weed, especially risperidol. Or doing anything. You're 17, baby.

1:23:55 Caller Okay. Well, okay. But the past couple of weeks, I've been really, really moody and really, really low and almost to the point of, I don't know what, but it's just-

1:24:08 Drew Well, you need to talk to- Is this a psychiatrist?

1:24:10 Adam Talk to your doctor.

1:24:11 Drew You definitely may need a mood stabilizer or an antidepressant. Yeah. Well, depression is a dangerous thing, right? You're having horrible feelings.

1:24:19 Caller Oh, yeah. I mean, I called some hotline. They have on our ID cards at school, for high school. I just graduated. I'm going to Moorpark. Yay, go Moorpark. They have hotline for different help things and I called one of them and they gave me some psychiatrist to talk to. I haven't called them yet, but I should.

1:24:42 Adam Tell me your school ID.

1:24:44 Drew Yeah. I don't understand why you don't talk to the doctors or prescribe your medications.

1:24:48 Caller Well, no, I did. I talked to her, but I didn't tell her about it because my mom was in the room.

1:24:54 Drew You need to call them and talk to them. Please, Emily. It's very serious. Okay?

1:24:58 Adam All right, baby. Come on now.

1:25:00 Caller I mean, I've been feeling on edge all the time. Things aren't as clear as they used to be. I suck up words and things. Oh, sorry. I'm so sorry.

1:25:11 Adam All right. I got to put her on hold. Thank God she has a retainer in her mouth or something. It sounds like suck up.

1:25:18 Drew Sound a little bit like that.

1:25:19 Adam Yeah. I think it may start with an F though.

1:25:21 Drew Yeah.

1:25:22 Adam Okay. Go back to the doctor.

1:25:24 Drew Yes. Emily, this is serious. I don't think it's the marijuana that caused the compensation in your mood though it didn't help. You're not on antidepressant. You're on a stimulant and a risperidol, so more may be needed here.

1:25:35 Adam Okay. Drew, what if we took some sort of probe, some sort of core probe of your average 17-year-old's brain today?

1:25:45 Drew Yeah.

1:25:46 Adam I'm going to go a step further. I'll say female brain and the same age person in 1955, living in the same country in the same part of the world, same community. Seems like everyone just has the weight of the world on their shoulders.

1:26:02 Drew Well, you're going to, again, find people from, you're more likely to hit somebody from a disturbed family system now. And therefore, you're going to have different upbringing issues, you're going to have detachment problems, you're going to have mood stability problems.

1:26:13 Adam It has, and then there's some external cause.

1:26:17 Drew Then you're going to have people doing drugs that mess with their brain chemistry, and you're going to have people engaged in their personal relationships too early to handle.

1:26:23 Adam And how about, how about the sort of envy and longing and these things that are built in to teenagers and now being bombarded by images.

1:26:36 Drew You're going to the beach every week and seeing that.

1:26:39 Adam Yeah, I just mean you turn on, I watch Entertainment Tonight with my wife and I can see her start getting angry. Like it's like a beautiful Sarah Jessica Parker and a Ralph Lauren is now and everyone that thought the flash bulbs are popping. Everyone's on the red carpet. Everyone looks stunning. Everyone's having a great time. Everything's amazing. And I could just see my wife sitting there thinking, why don't I have that dress? How come we never go on the red carpet? This this sort of envy. And then that quickly turns into anger. Like what's going on? Why don't I? Why aren't we doing this? And she's not even bad that way. I mean, if you're a 17-year-old chick and all you see is, you know, beautiful women who seem to be, you know, in San Tropez, what's that do to you when you're living in Simi Valley and your stepdad's a dick? You know what I mean? There's so much. It just seems like there's so much more to process in a factory that can only handle so much. Yeah. It's like everyone's inbox is stacked to the ceiling now.

1:27:45 Drew Yep.

1:27:46 Adam And they can only move so much paper per day. Yeah.

1:27:49 Drew I'm with you.

1:27:49 Caller But then when does medication become, and I don't want to get all Tom Cruise or anything, you know. I think medication is absolutely necessary for some people, but for an average 17-year-old girl, when does it become, you know, the only option?

1:28:02 Drew It's a very hard call to make. It's one out of five kill themselves that have bona fide major depression. And Emily fits that profile.

1:28:10 Adam Chicks don't do as much as the dudes, though, do they?

1:28:12 Drew They don't complete it as much as the dudes.

1:28:14 Adam They try, but it's a cry for help.

1:28:15 Drew And she said she didn't say it explicitly, but she was talking about having suicidal thoughts.

1:28:19 Adam Yeah, but how do you...

1:28:19 Drew So she definitely needs it.

1:28:21 Adam Yeah. And well, look, here's the deal.

1:28:23 Drew You have to qualify people trying to make those decisions.

1:28:25 Adam But is it, in a way, I guess it's not a whole lot different than other medications. You go in, you see a doctor, this person is theoretically qualified, and you figure out whether you need that or not.

1:28:37 Caller But connecting the dots?

1:28:39 Adam Yeah, that was weird.

1:28:40 Drew She has a thought problem, it sounds like. She probably has a personality disorder, too, because they'll talk about that sort of holding them together, a little bit, containing them. And or she could do intensive therapy twice a week for the next eight years. Yeah. And that would be great, and she would be better with that, but in the meantime, her life could be in danger from the mood problem.

1:29:00 Caller So it's a safety net, really?

1:29:01 Drew Yeah, but she's not doing, no one does the therapy. No one's willing to do that.

1:29:04 Caller Or the lifestyle change, the exercise, and all of the things.

1:29:07 Drew Assurances won't pay for it. It's very expensive. It's very time-consuming. You have to be willing to change, and people won't do it. It's amazing.

1:29:14 Adam But what Jenny's saying, too, which is if everyone took a five-mile walk every morning and listened to classical music, they would be fine.

1:29:22 Drew If they, listen, the bottom line is... Exactly. Well, the bottom line is a willingness to change, and people want to blame externals.

1:29:29 Adam Well, not only that, but nobody, this society puts zero emphasis on that.

1:29:34 Drew I am rereading Dante's Inferno, and in there, every person in hell blames, takes no responsibility for everything that happened to them. They blame everything that happened to them for why they ended up in hell.

1:29:45 Adam I'm going to not reread your book, Drew. I think I said reread reread reread.

1:29:49 Drew Just don't even touch it.

1:29:50 Adam Yeah. All right. Let's not externalize anymore, Drew. Let's take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:29:58 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:30:01 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:30:30 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-191, Rilo Kiley, banned in tonight. We got Jason swapping out for Jenny, and Pierre is been in for Blake, and doing a yeoman's job, by the way.

1:30:46 Rilo Kiley Oh, by the way.

1:30:46 Adam Yeah, doing a incredible impersonation of me.

1:30:52 Incredible.

1:30:53 Rilo Kiley That was incredible, Duke.

1:30:54 Drew Blah, blah, blah.

1:30:55 Rilo Kiley I was in the other room, and I really appreciate it, though.

1:31:01 Drew 28.

1:31:02 28?

1:31:03 Adam Hey.

1:31:03 How you guys doing?

1:31:05 Adam Good.

1:31:05 Man, you're hard to get ahold of.

1:31:07 Adam Good. I want to be easy to get ahold of.

1:31:12 Yeah. I have been trying to have another baby since January. I had an IUD, and he's seven years old, so I had it for approximately seven years. And I'm wondering maybe what kind of tips I can get on women's health care.

1:31:29 Drew Have you been menstruating normally?

1:31:31 Yeah.

1:31:31 Drew Very much. How old is your husband? How old is he?

1:31:35 He's 28 as well.

1:31:37 Drew He's a husband?

1:31:38 Yeah. My husband's 28.

1:31:39 Caller Oh, novel.

1:31:40 Adam Yeah. All right. And you want to have another kid, and you had the IUD, and it was taken out?

1:31:47 Drew Trying for six months?

1:31:48 Yeah. I had a doctor tell me that I needed like three different surgeries, and I went to another one who immediately took it out within like 25 minutes.

1:31:57 Drew What were the surgeries?

1:32:00 It was a scraping of the uterus, slash look around outside of it.

1:32:06 Drew And why did you not get that?

1:32:08 Because I really had a creepy feeling about the guy.

1:32:11 Drew And so the doctor that took the IUD out said you didn't need anything?

1:32:16 No, he basically just said here it is, showed it to me. He had his nurses' assistant.

1:32:23 Drew Do you have a history of endometriosis?

1:32:26 No, but I'm kind of worried about that because I get really, I work a very physical job and I get a lot of cramping.

1:32:34 Drew What do you do?

1:32:35 I work at UPS and I unload and load trailers.

1:32:39 Drew All right, you need to go back to the gynecologist, have an ultrasound, maybe even an MRI of the pelvis.

1:32:44 Adam Mike's gone bad.

1:32:44 Drew I know, it's sounding weird.

1:32:45 Adam All right, stop talking. April.

1:32:47 Caller Yeah.

1:32:48 Adam They let chicks unload those trucks?

1:32:50 Yeah, dude. I'm way tougher than most of the guys I work with and I shouldn't be saying that, but it's true.

1:32:56 Adam Yeah. Well, you have endurance. Women are better in the endurance department and they're grittier too.

1:33:01 Drew But I'm concerned about these problems, cramps and pains. I mean, you could have a problem with the line of the uterus, you could have an infection in there, there could be an infection in the tube, it could be endometriosis. You have a lot of question marks.

1:33:10 Caller Well, I'm kind of curious about that because I just did some reading on a like a.

1:33:16 Adam All right, go back to the doctor.

1:33:17 Drew Really?

1:33:17 Adam I'm not going to sit down and be ruminate on your vagina for 20 minutes.

1:33:21 Drew The fact you haven't gotten pregnant is not that big a deal. It's only been six months, but you apparently got pregnant easier, eat more easily at 21. Of course you would, and you've had an idea. In the meantime, there could be other things that have happened since.

1:33:33 Adam The important piece of business to take care of is to go in and talk to your manager and ask him about that, what can Brown do for you? Cliché that you idiots have clung to for the last three years. It's the world's worst. I've never heard a worse cliché than what can Brown do for you. It's a horrible saying.

1:33:49 Caller I agree.

1:33:50 Adam It's not a great business.

1:33:52 Caller No.

1:33:52 Adam That should have been shot down.

1:33:54 Drew The slogan. It's a slogan.

1:33:55 Adam Slogan, I should say.

1:33:56 Rilo Kiley Yeah, but the slogans go. It's so horrible.

1:33:58 Caller I mean, what do you think of when you-

1:34:00 Adam I just think of fecal matter. That's all. I probably was thinking about fecal matter anyway.

1:34:05 Drew Jason, you're the only two that have done that. Nobody else in the country.

1:34:08 Adam I doubt it. We speak and think for most of this country.

1:34:11 Drew Then there's a weird racist quality to it.

1:34:13 Adam Yeah, I never really thought about that, but that's true. I think Duke, he thinks race.

1:34:17 Caller The Miner Mencius last night, he said the United Beer something, is something to the ground.

1:34:24 Adam Right. Yeah, whatever direction you go in Brown, it's not good. It ain't good. All I'm saying is, how does that get off the ground? You know what I mean? It gets pitched. A lot of bad ideas get pitched. Somebody has to pipe up and go, okay, you're fired.

1:34:40 Drew Gilligan's Island, F Troop, Dr. Eugenie, all those things were pitched.

1:34:44 Adam Well, are you implying that those are bad shows?

1:34:46 Drew Just that the pitches must have been something to behold.

1:34:49 Adam All right. I think a poo. We will take ourselves a quick break. Be right back after this.

1:34:56 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

1:34:58 Rilo Kiley You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:35:01 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:35:03 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:35:04 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:35:11 Rilo Kiley Love Line will be right back.

1:35:49 Adam All right, everybody. That's the show. I want to thank Rilo Kiley for coming in here tonight. Quality. Synonymous with quality.

1:35:59 Drew Agreed.

1:36:00 Adam Not as good as what can Brown do for you in the slogan department, but synonymous with quality. Solid.

1:36:06 Drew Well, Rilo Kiley is quality.

1:36:08 Adam Is quality. More adventurous, name of the CD. They're going to be out with Coldplay, so look for them. Is it Thursday? Who are we going to thank? Engineer Marcus, who else?

1:36:18 Caller Michelle, Trisha, Anderson, Junior, Junior, Junior.

1:36:23 Adam Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Producer Lauren, Producer Ann, Rick, Rick for doing a wonderful job.

1:36:31 Drew Michelle, too, during this week.

1:36:32 Adam Yeah.

1:36:33 Drew There we go.

1:36:34 Adam Yeah. So, you don't replace Michelle. You just sort of stand in the place that she stood. No, nobody can feel that big maxi pad. Oh, thank you. Okay. So, you know what I'm saying. So, until next time, this Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew, saying Mahalo.

1:36:53 Caller This has been Loveline, Loveline.

1:36:57 Adam The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, August 25, 2005