Episode 1000724338115

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:09 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:14 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:18 Voiceover With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Voiceover That's right. This is Loveline. It is the phone number here, 1-800-LOVE-191. This is Dr. Drew. Adam Corolla out tonight, working on his big dreamy show.

1:28 Adam Adam Corolla. That's some big shoes to fill, Dr. Drew.

1:31 Drew And tonight filling those shoes, none other than Rob Schneider.

1:33 Adam Well, it's a pleasure. Well, I tell you.

1:35 Drew You're an excited Rob Schneider.

1:37 Adam It's some big shoes, but I'm going to do my best. You know, I actually saw Adam Corolla at the Celebrity Softball tournament, the Celebrity Softball game at Dodger Stadium.

1:45 Drew Yes, yes.

1:45 Adam It was a bit of a stretch, Celebrity Softball, because like four of the guys are from the Jimmy Kimmel Show. So I don't know how much with Celebrity. I mean, they're stretching the word there, Celebrity. But it was good, though. You know, Adam can hit.

1:55 Drew I know. A lot of guys. Listen, a lot of guys hit.

1:58 Adam Yeah, they did.

1:58 Drew Jim Lovitz hit.

2:00 Adam I know. That's embarrassing. No, Lovitz actually can really hit. Ridiculous.

2:03 Drew He never played before. When they were playing hardball, he wouldn't even play.

2:06 Adam You don't even expect him to hit, but he can hit. He hit a lot. He hit it far.

2:11 Drew Deuce Bigelow European Gigolo.

2:12 Adam He could hit, but he can't close with the chicks. You heard me.

2:14 Drew Open on his 12. Tell me about that.

2:17 Adam Yeah, well.

2:17 Drew Do you complain about that?

2:18 Adam Well, a little bit. You know, he's the funny guy, but I don't know if he's the closer. Women love funny guys, but they need a little bit more than just funny. Now, Lovitz is funny. If you're out there listening in one of his many Mercedes, you know, it's just tough to close for him.

2:32 Drew Is there some story here?

2:34 Adam No, I just think, you know, I can just, I sense that. I see it in his eyes.

2:37 Drew You must complain about it all the time.

2:38 Adam He's got attention deficit, sort of.

2:40 Drew He has that, too.

2:41 Adam But he can hit. That's why he hit a couple balls up.

2:42 Drew He hit a softball. He did.

2:43 Adam He hit a home run. I think he hit two.

2:44 Drew Did he get the, like, player of the game?

2:45 Adam He got MVP. I think they gave three MVP awards away, but it's all good. He deserved it. He's very funny. We did the movie together, Benchwormers. He's really good in it.

2:54 Drew Good guy, smart guy.

2:55 Adam I gotta tell you, I'm very excited to be part. It's tough to fill in.

2:58 Drew It is not. Rob, you seem more yourself without Adam here.

3:01 Adam Okay, I'll tell you. I'm a little intimidated. I'm a little intimidated.

3:04 He seems to be a blowhard. He has no actual information.

3:09 Drew You don't know where he's going, right?

3:10 Adam He's really funny, and he has a great freeform sense about him. I listen to the show all the time, and I'm a huge fan of the show. I come on to the show, unlike some of the other people come on, I come on when I'm not plugging anything.

3:19 Drew You have to be plugging.

3:20 Oh, big whoop.

3:21 Adam European Jiggalogs. Now, I'm really, really plugging Deuce Bigelow, European Jiggalog, August 12th. However, I'm a pleasure to be here, and I did a show, I thought this show is pretty explicit and everything, but I did do playboy.com, which is...

3:35 Drew Eddie Griffin, who was in here last night, came in just after that, and they had to tell him to tone down the language, tone down the conversation.

3:41 Adam It was a little too open. I like some of the FCC rules after that. You're on with porn stars, and they were talking about stuff that it was just, to me, I'm not easily, I don't consider myself prudish or whatever, but some of the stuff they were saying, some of the terms, I had no idea, and I was aghast by them.

3:56 Drew But now that, wow, you have to violate his delicate sensibilities, Michelle, I mean, isn't that...

4:00 Adam Well, some of the things, like they were talking about what these new porn stars...

4:03 Drew You know what, at a certain point, it's like, who cares?

4:06 Adam Yeah, it's so crazy, it's so out there. When I was in Amsterdam shooting Du Spiegel O2, which is Du Spiegel European Jiggle, when I was shooting it, we were doing some promotion of stuff. We went into one of the porn stars, porn, pornography stores there. And I had not really been in there. And I imagine, you know, you're gonna see pornography, you're gonna see girls and guys, you're gonna see girls and girls, you're gonna see maybe guys and guys.

4:27 Drew You're talking about actual live shows?

4:29 Adam No, no, no, I'm sorry, it's a pornography.

4:31 Drew On the cover of the videos and things.

4:32 Adam Right, DVDs and whatever, and it's videos, mostly DVDs and everything. And you're gonna think, okay, I'm expecting to see some hardcore sex or some crazy stuff, maybe some stuff in different orifices. But then there was some animal stuff, which in the end the animal stuff was shocking and disgusting. And it was all German, by the way. But the most disgusting thing...

4:50 Drew We play Germany or Florida on this show.

4:53 Adam Well, let me tell you this. There was a DVD of transsexuals who love horses.

5:02 Drew So you got two bizarre and out there topics.

5:06 Adam Trans-equus.

5:07 Drew You got... You've got she-males.

5:11 Adam Yes.

5:12 Drew With the equine.

5:14 Adam Yes, as a matter of fact. And you know what? I think it's a perfect Broadway musical. But anyway, it was out there. And it was just one of those things. And you show a picture of a guy who's a half-guy, half-girl, transsexual thing, whatever, with breasts, and he's got his arm around a horse. And I was like, you know what? I don't know. I mean, I'm never going to get that far. Maybe you continue to get a little bit kinkier, stretch it out a little bit, talk a little dirtier in bed. Imagine your girlfriend having sex with another guy. Okay, whatever. Maybe that's just me. But anyway, then you, it's about, I don't know how many lifetimes, if I have 300, 400 years, if I lived to be as old as Solomon, 800 years, maybe at that time I got it. You know what?

5:49 Drew The horse.

5:50 Adam I'm thinking horses and girls with penises.

5:53 Drew You like to see your woman with another man?

5:55 Adam Well, no, no, no.

5:56 Drew You slip that out there.

5:56 Adam There's imagination out there. No, some of my old girlfriends. Well, you know what? I'm a little jealous. I get a little jealous.

6:04 Drew That would freak you out then.

6:05 Adam It would freak you out. But also, he's kind of like, God damn it. How dare you break up with your girlfriend. She's going off to another. God damn it. I can't believe it. It's like, yeah, it's kind of exciting.

6:13 Drew Wow. It's so sick.

6:14 Adam Oh, get out of here. That's not as sick as the trance of horses.

6:18 Drew Catherine the Great, they say, died that way.

6:20 Adam Catherine the Great. You know what? I've actually been to Catherine the Great's house. The whole time I was in there, I was thinking, that's the whole point. She did so much for her country, she did so much, she expanded the empire, she really did, she actually cared about the people, the proles, the proletariat, the average citizens.

6:34 Drew The peasants.

6:34 Adam Yeah, she really did.

6:35 Drew It's my heritage, my family.

6:36 Adam She did a good job. And also she cared about art, she made a fantastic, I've been to her palace.

6:41 Drew So what if the little horsey fled?

6:43 Adam And what if the only thing I could think of, the whole time in her palace, the big, not the amethyst, no, no, the room with the amber room. That was what the Nazis planned. And they're replacing slowly, the, not Nazis, but German people and actually companies. But anyway, so the whole time I'm in this beautiful castle, all I'm thinking about is she banged a horse.

7:00 Drew Died banging a horse.

7:01 Adam And supposedly died banging a horse. Is that, I don't know if you can ever really, I mean, they didn't have video back then, but that's, you know what, she's out there. I mean, she's really cameic. Plus, back then, you know, your life spans weren't that long, but it just, I don't know, you just, I don't know, you wake up in the morning, you know, I gotta bang a horse or something.

7:19 Drew This, all this entire conversation grew out of Lovitz.

7:23 Adam Yes.

7:23 Drew This whole thing.

7:24 Adam Banging a horse.

7:25 Drew Banging a horse. We go from Lovitz to, but, okay, all right, anyway.

7:29 Adam We've opened the floodgates now.

7:30 Drew I'm just saying. Rob, I like you much better when Adam's not here. It's much more fun. This is really good. We're gonna have a good time. Will you only come on when Adam's not here?

7:36 Adam I'd love to.

7:37 Drew Okay. In fact, he's been gone all next week. I want you back in here.

7:39 Adam I'll be here.

7:40 Drew Deuce Bigelow, Male Gigolo, wide release. I see it's being promoted everywhere. Yeah, we got to know Eddie Griffin last night. We'd seen once on our TV show.

7:46 Adam He's terrific, isn't he?

7:47 Drew Very smart, very funny guy. Very funny and a good guy. Yeah, good guy. He and Adam talked about military aircraft for the entire two hours.

7:54 Adam Really?

7:55 Drew The entire two hours. It was not Loveline. It was Military Might Show. Wings of Fire or something. All right, let's, ooh, ooh, ooh. What do we got? Here we go. You like the stuff of, yeah. We're gonna do some calls. Let's go. The phone number here 1-800-LOVE-191.

8:10 Adam Yes, I am excited.

8:11 Drew I remember my show on Discovery Health Channel tonight at midnight. I had to speak with Joyce Lynn Elder, as well, thanks.

8:15 Adam Oh, really?

8:16 Drew A very interesting woman.

8:16 Adam Well, I want to hear about that.

8:17 Drew Okay, but this is going back to your topic of liking to see your partners with other people. I'm just saying. This is Alan from.

8:22 Adam That turns me on.

8:23 Drew Alan 27. What's up, Alan?

8:26 Yeah. Hi, guys. How are you doing?

8:27 Adam Hey, what's going on?

8:27 Drew You're on with Rob Schneider.

8:29 Yeah. Hi, Rob. How are you doing?

8:30 Adam Hey, good to talk to you.

8:34 I actually made up my question for the phone screener because last time I called, I couldn't get through. I guess my question wasn't interesting enough.

8:39 Drew Real quick, go.

8:40 Liar, liar whore, liar whore. You know it.

8:43 Adam What do you got?

8:44 My real question is that I called the police on a friend of mine's wife, I'm sorry, on a friend's husband that had been beating her up. And it had to turn out she got arrested instead because apparently they were beating each other up.

9:01 Drew Right?

9:01 Adam No, no, no, that's not, that wouldn't be the case. They would have to take both away. Don't ask me how I know that. No, they would have to take both away. That's California state law.

9:09 Drew He's in Ohio.

9:09 Adam Oh, you're in Ohio.

9:10 Drew They're a little more backward there. A little less equitable.

9:13 In Ohio, there's some sort of law that somebody has to get taken away and for whatever reason, the female cop oddly enough believed the husband's story over my friend's story.

9:24 Adam Well, there might have been some scratches and stuff and if there's a mark or something, then they're going to believe that. So she might have gotten in a whack or two.

9:32 Okay. Well, she was the one that had the choke marks around her neck.

9:34 Adam Well, then they would have taken her.

9:35 Drew Alan, look. Here's the deal.

9:37 Caller Okay.

9:37 Drew Abuse ors become abusees and vice versa. So usually if somebody is the victim of abuse, they too abuse at one time or another in various situations. And so it's a role that goes back and forth. The real question is here, why do you have to rescue people that are involved in a very chaotic relationship?

9:54 Adam Do you have the hots for this woman? Come on, tell us the truth.

9:57 Caller I am telling you the truth. No, I do not.

9:59 Adam What's your question?

10:00 Caller She has kids, she smokes, I'm not into that.

10:02 Drew Why are you so involved in this? There's nothing you can do here other than increase the splitting, increase the chaos, increase the problems. They need to get professional help, the legal system is kicking in, that's what they need.

10:16 Adam So what's your question? What are you saying? So what are you, you're just saying it's I...

10:21 Caller Am I right to feel like crap that she might lose her job, lose her freedom? I mean, because...

10:27 Adam Well, wait a minute, wait a minute. First of all, it's only a temporary thing. Let's just cut you off there. Now, you know, for one thing, basically what the police are doing, it's, I don't think it's a bad thing that they took her away.

10:35 Drew It's just to separate the two of them.

10:36 Adam Yeah, it's a cooling down period of what they're trying to do. So it's not a thing where they're going to just lock her up and believe one or the other. It's basically, I bet you they got there and they're both yelling and they said, we're taking one of them. And the person was yelling them loudest was her.

10:48 Drew Right, he could contain himself and she was freaking out.

10:50 Adam But the bottom line is if she goes back with this guy, then she's an idiot. I mean, I look at it this way, if you find yourself, and Dr. Drew, let me talk as a non-doctor, as a comedian now, just as an actor and giving out advice to people, which I think is actually...

11:06 Drew Not from any personal experience.

11:07 Adam Yeah, this is just...

11:08 Drew Not drawing, but maybe those are friends. You have a friend.

11:10 Adam I got a friend and a friend of a friend. But if you find yourself doing something that is outside your normal behavior, then it's time to get outside, it's time to get out of that relationship. You got to get out of there because this isn't you. It's not comfortable. You got to get out of that.

11:26 Drew We actually never say stuff like that. That's actually a great piece of advice, which is if you feel yourself being evoked into something that truly is out of bounds, whatever that might be.

11:35 Adam Yeah, it's out of your normal behavior.

11:36 Drew You're being sucked into a vortex that you shouldn't be in.

11:38 Adam Because then it's going to continue going down that road. It's your sign. It's a certain self-respect sign and a boundary for yourself. You go, you know what? I'm not going to go down with this person. I'm going to get out of here. But a lot of people, self-esteem issues or whatever, codependency, God knows Dr. Drew is going to fill us up with that tonight.

11:57 Drew That's it. Why? Why should I? You're going just fine.

12:00 Adam But so it's just don't stay in there. If you find yourself going outside of that behavior, don't do it.

12:05 Drew All right. Lauren 20.

12:06 Adam Thanks for the fake question.

12:08 Drew Well, that was the real one, though.

12:09 Adam Oh, yeah.

12:10 Drew The fake one was the fake. Was the one that was supposed to be psychic.

12:13 Adam I want to hear the one about the guy. Well, imagine his wife or girlfriend.

12:16 Drew We'll get one of those. Don't worry.

12:17 Adam With having sex and being turned on by that.

12:19 Drew Trisha, work on that. We got those out there. Lauren.

12:22 Rob Schneider Yeah, okay. To make a long story short, I've been on my period for a year, and I've been on a...

12:27 Drew Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. You've only been having periods since you were 19?

12:32 Rob Schneider No, I've been on my period for a year. Like, for a year.

12:34 Adam You've been having a solid period?

12:35 Drew You've been bleeding consistently for a year. Okay, yes.

12:38 Rob Schneider All right. And I've been on the Depo-Previer shot, and I know that some of the side effects from that can be a long-term period. I've been to my doctor, I go to this clinic, and they try to put me on ibuprofen to stop it.

12:50 Drew No.

12:50 Rob Schneider That didn't work.

12:51 Wow.

12:52 Adam That's not good. Even I know that.

12:55 Keep going.

12:56 Rob Schneider So now they, I just got my other shot, and I talked to them more about it, and now they're going to put me on the pill to give me extra estrogen.

13:04 Drew Yeah, that's what you usually need. That's what you usually need, more estrogen. Now, make sure you take iron, because you're losing iron with all that blood.

13:10 Rob Schneider Okay.

13:10 Drew Okay, make sure you take iron, and realize that yes, being on the, I don't, somebody that has, listen, it's very, it's absolutely routine for you to have a period for three months after you start on the pill, commonly up to six months. Wow, I didn't know that. And then you stop having your period entirely in the vast majority of cases, Rob, you'll stop menstruation. So if you want to get rid of your period, get on that shot. Take three months.

13:29 Adam Let me write some of that down there. And if I start taking, I will, okay.

13:32 Drew There you go.

13:33 Adam Six months, that seems extreme.

13:34 Drew Yeah, but it's the way this works. It's excess progesterone, and that causes the unstable endometrium, and the way to stabilize the lining of the uterus is with estrogens. Now, that's a lot of medicine, a lot of hormones.

13:44 Adam It is a lot.

13:44 Drew And it can affect your sex drive, it can affect your mood, it can affect your weight.

13:47 Adam Is there a reason why that they put you on this originally? Is it just for birth control, or is there some other reason why they put you on this?

13:55 Rob Schneider It was just for birth control.

13:57 Adam You see, that's a lot. I'm sorry. Now, maybe I'm just an overly sensitive guy, and I swear to God, not to make myself look good, though. It does make me look good. I don't want to have the women that I'm having, that I'm having relations with, to be this overload of estrogen. Well, let's talk about this. That seems like an extreme. There are some women who need to be on the pill.

14:17 Drew Here's an interesting topic. We're going to talk medically and then philosophically. All right.

14:22 Adam Let me talk medically.

14:24 Drew Medically, the long-acting contraceptive.

14:27 Adam Such a show-off, Mr. Doctor. Good Lord.

14:29 Drew It's a doctor man.

14:30 Adam You're always just hanging that over my head.

14:32 Drew I don't know why you say that to me. But anyway, the progesterone pill.

14:37 Adam You know, you've been a doctor and went to school for 12 years, but I've been in comedy clubs for 20 years, pal. So I've just put that there. I'm sorry. Go ahead.

14:43 Drew 12. What was I saying? The Depo-Provera shot.

14:47 Adam The Depo-Provera shot. It's a massive amount.

14:49 Drew It's a big dose of progesterone.

14:50 Adam Yeah.

14:51 Drew It, though, is responsible for the drop in teenage... Statistics suggest that it is responsible for the drop in teenage pregnancy in this country. There's been great inroads in terms of reducing teen pregnancy. The research suggests that the primary reason that has occurred is because of this shot. Really? Yeah. And so pregnancy, you have to remember, is a potentially life-threatening condition. People die and pregant so often.

15:13 Adam And it's a life-ruining for a lot of young kids too, yeah.

15:16 Drew For the kids and the kids that they have.

15:18 Adam Right, right.

15:18 Drew So, you know, is it worth being sort of, not unstable, but maybe not peak health, you know, but there's no evidence that progesterone does anything bad to you. However, it does shut down your sex drive. There's a guy named Lionel Tiger, a biological anthropologist, who I brought into my show on Discovery Health Channel, because I thought the guy was fascinating. He did a thing with chimpanzee.

15:38 Adam I smell a plug.

15:38 Drew Chimpanzee pod. It just passed. It's going to smell or dissipate, because it's just come and gone. He took a chimpanzee pod with the alpha male, who had this whole thing, a harem of women. He put all the women on Depo Provera.

15:50 Adam Yes.

15:51 Drew And they all didn't want to have sex with them.

15:52 Adam Wow.

15:53 Drew And the alpha male.

15:53 Adam Did he want to kill himself?

15:54 Drew He started freaking out and getting violent and masturbating on the females.

16:00 Adam Well, you know, that's what I do.

16:01 Drew I'm just saying. So that's why you don't like your women. You're an alpha male, and you don't like your women.

16:06 Adam Well, you know what? But it is something else to for those, you know, I think it's fine. I mean, whatever can limit, you know, teen pregnancies. You know, I would think self-esteem would be another thing. But, you know, that's very Republican.

16:18 Drew No, I'm with you.

16:19 Adam But at the same time, it's like, you know what? It's a lot. And for women to be on it for years and years and years, it's, you know, because hormones control everything, as you will attest.

16:29 Drew Yeah, it's a concern.

16:29 Adam Let me speak medically. Because, you know, we have cervical, you know, whether it's, you know, tumors growing, whatever, and just hormones control everything in the body. More and more, you know, medicine is one of my hobbies, and that's why I prescribe medicine to people illegally. But it's like hormones do everything.

16:45 Drew Hormones are, are, interact with everything.

16:48 Adam Yeah, they're involved in everything. You know, cell division and everything, so everything can grow. And that's why, you know, whether it's steroid stuff that just make, you know, crazy tumors and growing, it's like, so you know what? You are rolling the dice, and I think the longer you're on it, and then as Dr. Drew will, I'm sure, back me up, the higher the dose of your birth control pill, or whatever your amount of estrogen, the more chances for, you know, something wacky to happen.

17:12 Drew And I think your point is well taken that self-esteem is probably the most effective intervention, because if you are sexually active and you're screwing around, you're female, you're likely to have those self-esteem. And if you're on the pill, if you're on the pill, you're less likely to get an STD, less likely to have complications from STD, less likely to have pregnancy.

17:29 Adam If you're what now?

17:29 Drew If you're on the pill.

17:30 Adam If you're on the pill, you're less likely to have STDs?

17:32 Drew Yes. And then, pelvic inflammatory disease, and if you get pelvic inflammatory disease, then you have a short duration.

17:36 Adam Well, how does it make you less likely to get STDs?

17:37 Drew It's mostly the ascending disease, like pelvic inflammatory disease.

17:40 Adam Oh, okay, all right, all right. But the thing is, if you're on the pill, then you're not wearing the protection from guys, then you're potentially in trouble there, too.

17:46 Drew That's correct.

17:47 Adam So I think make the guys wear the condom, for the most part, for crying out loud. Guys have a good day. They're lucky to be sleeping with you in the first place. Oh. Okay, believe me, in high school, I would have worn four condoms if a woman wanted me to. Whatever. She can drag me behind the pickup truck. I don't care. Let me have sex. I'll wear whatever you want. I will pull out. I'll do whatever.

18:07 Drew We spent a lot of time wearing, ooh, how to make him happy.

18:09 Adam Where were these low self-esteem women when I was going to school? I didn't have that. I want that.

18:14 Drew Darren.

18:14 Adam I want to go back to high school.

18:15 Drew Darren, 25.

18:17 Adam I never had a girlfriend, so I'm going to go on the pill because I just have to have you call her and meet her free.

18:23 Drew Darren.

18:24 Adam Darren, what do you got?

18:25 Drew Yeah, what's up, buddy?

18:26 Adam Adam Carolla's not here. I'm filling in. What do you got?

18:28 Drew Rob Schneider's on the loose.

18:31 Adam I feel free.

18:32 Caller You seem free.

18:33 Drew What do you got?

18:34 Adam Come on, man. Air time's expensive. What do you got?

18:36 Caller Oh, you're talking to me right now, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

18:38 Adam What do you got? What can we do for you?

18:39 Caller All right. Yo, I want to ask you an opinion, basically. I'm a gay dude and I'm saying black. Hello? Yeah, we're here.

18:47 Adam You don't sound gay.

18:48 Caller Gay?

18:49 Adam You're not stereotypical gay.

18:50 Caller I know, right? Okay, so listen, this is the point I'm trying to get to. You know, like, I live in New York now. I do professional modeling work. Very different.

18:58 Adam Okay, now you're sounding more gay. Okay, you went from not sounding gay at all to now sounding a little more gay. Okay, go ahead.

19:03 Caller I'm just doing A. But listen, so my first experience was a mutual first time with another straight guy. Since then, I've only exclusively been attracted to straight guys.

19:15 Drew What do you mean your first experience was with a straight guy?

19:18 Adam No, he just said you just had your first experience with a straight guy? It's usually with gay guys. You've been with other gay guys, right?

19:24 Caller Okay, let me break it down. Three years ago, first time, had a mutual first experience.

19:30 Adam Mutual first experience. Okay, now since then, you've had other experiences with gay men.

19:35 Caller But I can't say that. You could probably say that, you know, looking at it from the outside or whatever, but I realized that I've become somebody who just likes to turn out, basically, what they would say, turn out straight.

19:47 Adam Okay, so, but you've had relations with other gay men who were not straight.

19:53 Caller Other men who I basically had to one way or another talk into or whatever. I'm very nice with my lingo. And I realized-

19:59 Adam Okay, so basically, you've got guys who are not sure if they're gay or not ready to come out or whatever, and you are turned on by-

20:07 Drew You bring them around.

20:09 Adam You set them straight, or so to speak, right? And that turns you on. That's a turn on because you have taken them there.

20:18 Drew Wait a minute.

20:19 No, wait. Go ahead.

20:20 Drew The what is?

20:20 Caller But once that whole thing is completed, I'm no longer interested at all.

20:26 Adam So you're like-

20:27 Drew Well-

20:28 Caller I went to a gay club or whatever, or even thought to go to a straight club, and I met a good looking straight guy, whatever that thought was straight.

20:35 Adam He told me- Let's just back it up here.

20:37 Caller The whole thing, you're missing the catch.

20:39 Adam Okay.

20:39 Caller If I was to go to a straight club, and I saw a fly, muscular, straight guy in my eye, and he told me he had another experience before, I would be instantly unattractive.

20:50 Adam Okay.

20:51 Caller My whole thing is, I think it's comparable to when a guy will look at a virgin girl or whatever, he wants to deflower her or whatever, and that's the whole big thing with them. Once he finds out she's had other partners, he's no longer into it.

21:06 Drew There's not many guys like that out, if any.

21:08 Adam First of all, let me throw something out there. Go ahead. If you meet a guy at a gay club, who says he's straight, He's not straight. I'm going to say he's gay.

21:19 Drew Right.

21:19 Adam I'm going to say that he's got a game, too, where he's going to pretend with you that he's straight because he wants to get with you.

21:28 Drew Yes.

21:28 Adam And so I think you guys are playing a game, I think you're role playing. I think you're in a little bit of a self-denial loop by thinking you're at a gay club and you're going to meet straight guys and turn them.

21:40 Drew But again, it's interesting to...

21:41 Adam I feel dirty, by the way, just hearing this. I need to take a shower after this call.

21:45 Drew But it's interesting to speculate what it is about that process that's so attractive to him.

21:49 Adam But what is it? It's kind of a conquest, like a guy being with a girl and then being uninterested, I guess. It just seems to be like a...

21:56 Drew He says his sense of it is that it's the same thing. Although guys are really not that into virgins, they're into hot chicks.

22:01 Adam Yeah, but it's more or less the conquest, whether it's a virgin or not. It's just, I'm gonna get the girl, I'm gonna move on.

22:07 Drew I'm gonna have my way with this person. And by the way, you know, the things like...

22:10 Adam It's a power thing almost, isn't it?

22:12 Drew Empathy, perspective taking, being able to appreciate other people, that's sort of a high order human evolutionary function.

22:20 Adam Clearly this guy is not there yet.

22:21 Drew Yeah, I'd sort of look, maybe you need a relationship. It sounds like you've never had a gay relationship.

22:26 Adam I think so too, but I will also say this. There is some, like, there is a little bit of self-loathing I'm sensing from this, because, you know, in our society we have, it's not completely, especially now, there's been, like, such a backlash against gay rights. I mean, if anything, if you could take out the word gay and put in nigger, it would make, it would just, it would totally see where it was 40, 50, 60 years ago. So there is, like, there is a backlash against gays. And also, I think, like, there would be some self-loathing. So I think, ultimately, he's got to deal with the basis of accepting his homosexuality.

22:59 Drew So doing this reenactment is just a way of proving to himself that he's a bad guy that turns people onto the dark side.

23:04 Adam And also, it's safer for him to not commit and be gay and be in this relationship.

23:09 Drew Actually be in a relationship.

23:09 Adam Because it's with a straight guy. So I think, you know what, take a risk, and if you, you know, you're obviously attracted to other guys, have a relationship, stick it out for a while, and become a better person.

23:20 Drew Rob Schneider, everybody.

23:21 Adam I'm gonna take a break and take a shower.

23:23 Drew Deuce Bigelow, European Gigolo, movie opens Friday, August 12th.

23:26 Adam That was pretty good insight, come on.

23:27 Drew It was excellent, excellent. I, here you go. Michelle, Michelle's our resident, how we describe you.

23:35 Caller I'm the resident gay girl.

23:36 Drew Resident gay girl, and I'm the...

23:37 Adam Tell me about that.

23:39 Caller It's like a conquest.

23:40 Drew Yeah, that's what he's saying. That's what I'm saying, Rob.

23:41 Caller I mean, once a gay person, you know, flowers a straight person, it's like, yeah.

23:48 Drew Yeah, they're not that, I don't know if that'd be a good deal for guys, but be that as it may, Rob seems to understand.

23:54 Caller Oh, totally. He gets it.

23:55 Drew Is your gaydar going off at all?

23:56 Caller No, he's probably like lived in like New York or San Francisco.

24:00 Adam I grew up in San Francisco.

24:01 Drew Very good.

24:02 Adam I went to San Francisco State University, and like the, you know, all the teachers, all the people I look up to were gays. So it was like, you know what, these people are great, you know, and I just didn't see any difference. These people I really looked up to just happened to be gay.

24:15 Drew Right, absolutely. Tonight's show, Jay Leno, tomorrow night, or if you're listening to this on Thursday, it will be tonight. 51st State, Hot Chick, with my kids, watch more than any of the movie on Earth. Really? We have one of those things in the car. I've heard your film 600 times.

24:30 Adam Wow, I tell you, there's an innocence to the movies. I mean, I gotta say, it's like, there was a nice thing in the New York Times, because they usually get slammed and everything. There was just a nice piece in the New York Times where they said if Rob Schneider lived in this obscure place, an island in Fiji, he'd be a Polynesian god, because there's an innocence in the comedy. If you can open yourself up to the childlike nature of it. I mean, that's basically, I'm definitely have some retarded adolescence in myself, but I key in to that, and I still laugh as hard as I do when I was like eight years old. And I think it's just, I really think I try not to have any menace to the stuff, so it's okay for kids, even if there's some sexuality involved.

25:06 Drew There's no malice. But it's usually fairly innocent stuff.

25:08 Adam Yeah, and that's fun. But at the same time, some people just hate it. Some adults, well some critics or whatever, they just, but it's fun. I'm glad that it's had a life of its own.

25:20 Drew If Corolla were here, he would tell you to tell them to kiss your ass.

25:28 Adam I'm really impressed with Adam, though, because he can go off in 10 minutes on someone's shirt in Vegas.

25:31 Drew I know.

25:32 Adam He made me pee my pants talking. I had to pull over, actually. He actually had, you know we're talking about guys who wear sleeveless shirts in Vegas.

25:40 Drew Going to Southwest Airlines.

25:41 Adam Yeah, exactly. In the shorts and whatever, in the sandals.

25:45 Drew Good Lord. All right. American gigolo. I mean, excuse me. Deuce Bigelow, male gigolo.

25:50 Adam Same thing.

25:51 Drew European gigolo. With Rob Schneider. We'll be back after this.

25:58 Caller Love Line will be right back.

25:59 Adam So get your problems ready.

26:02 Ready for something new?

26:04 Try Durex tingling condoms.

26:06 Adam There's sex and then there's Durex.

26:31 Drew That's right, Loveline, 1-800-LOBE-191, I'm Dr. Drew Loveline, Adam Corolla, absent tonight and sitting in is the great Rob Schneider.

26:38 Adam I'm doing my best, I'm filling in.

26:41 Drew A European gigolo, I can't get an American gigolo out of my head.

26:44 Adam That's right, European gigolo, this one's a little different. We filmed the whole thing in Amsterdam. People say, you know, you're the only reason, Rob, you want to go to the studio, so you're the only reason you want to shoot in Amsterdam is because of the legal prostitution, the legal marijuana.

26:54 Drew Yep, that's about it, that's about it. That's what Eddie Griffin told us last night.

26:57 Adam There's so much more to Amsterdam than that.

26:59 Drew I'm sure you spent hours in the Van Gogh Museum.

27:01 Adam There's so much more.

27:02 Drew The Rijks Museum.

27:03 Adam There's mushrooms, there's cocaine, there's hashish, there's special K, there's crack. No, but it was funny because Eddie Griffin, when he first got over there, he does pretty good with the ladies and everything, but he seemed to care over here. When he first over there, his rap just wasn't working. I was at this club with him and I just saw him talking to this Dutch girl. He said, come on over here, we'll have a glass of champagne. I'm tired, but I'm hanging because he wants to have a drink. I'm hanging and I'm just going to say, let's see what happens. Also I hear him say, okay, you want to get out of here? The girl was like, what?

27:36 Where?

27:37 Adam Well, I thought we'd get out of here. Where do you want? Where are we going? I don't know, go back to my place. I'm not going to your place. Are you crazy? I don't know you.

27:46 Who do you think you are?

27:47 Adam He said, all right, take it down, take it easy, baby. So it's funny, he eventually started going out with some beautiful girl, but his rap just wasn't down. I saw him the next couple of days, I was like, man, it's different over here, man. I'm having some problems. But then he ended up doing okay, I think.

28:03 Drew All right, Mike.

28:04 Adam What have we got, Mike?

28:05 Drew 19.

28:06 Adam 19?

28:07 Drew Yeah, 19. What's up, Mike?

28:09 Hey. Okay, well, about two and a half, about three years ago, I noticed that I wasn't waking up with erections. I really wasn't even having erections. I was sexually active, well, somewhat before that.

28:24 Adam You're 19?

28:25 Caller 19, yeah.

28:26 Drew So it's 17, you were sexually active?

28:28 Caller Well, 16, I was sexually active.

28:30 Adam All right.

28:32 Caller And just, I don't know, just almost when I was 17, it was about two and a half years, I just noticed that my erections weren't full. And I used to wake up with erections every morning.

28:47 Drew Did you still have desire, normal desire for sex?

28:50 Caller Yeah, I had desire, not as much as I used to.

28:53 Drew How about now?

28:54 Caller Now I do, yeah, I do.

28:56 Drew You have desire, do you masturbate?

28:59 Caller If I can, you know.

29:00 Adam Let me ask you, now how long you been on antidepressants?

29:03 Caller Not at all, no.

29:04 Adam No, come on, seriously?

29:06 Drew That would do this. Are you taking any supplements?

29:08 Caller Nothing. The only thing I have taken is Viagra.

29:12 Adam No, seriously?

29:13 Caller I swear to God.

29:14 Adam That's you.

29:15 Drew Is there anything, have you lost weight, you've been thirsty a lot of the time?

29:18 Caller No, nothing, I'm very healthy, non-smoker.

29:21 Drew Have you seen a doctor?

29:22 Adam You're not overweight?

29:23 Caller Yeah, I, no, not overweight. I saw a doctor when I turned 18, well, I saw a doctor when I was 17, he told me he could really help me or give me anything because I was 18 and I kind of want to keep it confidential between, you know.

29:35 Drew All right, you need to see an endocrinologist.

29:37 Adam Let me tell you another thing.

29:38 Drew Because the most common reason for this, well, the most common would be diabetes, frankly. So that would be the first thing you want to rule out, but there's something called a prolactinoma, you can get these prolactin secreting tumors in the pituitary gland, they can shut your testosterone down like crazy.

29:50 Adam Wow.

29:52 Drew And then there are tumors in the spinal area and whatnot, you have to get this evaluated.

29:56 Adam An endocrinologist.

29:57 Drew This is how you know men and women are different. If a woman sort of lose their sex drive, not interested in masturbating, you go, Oh honey, you need to just take care of yourself. And a man goes, get the ambulance, something's very wrong.

30:07 Adam And this is wrong, I can't.

30:08 Drew And that's the case.

30:09 Adam I usually I can go through this wall with my erection. Right now, can I ask you, do you eat a lot of, what's your diet like?

30:17 Caller I eat a lot of protein, I exercise a lot.

30:21 Drew This is a profound biological problem.

30:23 Adam Okay, but this isn't.

30:25 Drew This is not a subtle issue, this is not you need to exercise more, this is something that's seriously wrong, you need to get that. The most common reason I see this exact condition is diabetes, number two is prolactinoma. So you got to check that out. Let's play a little German here, Florida. This is Heather 19.

30:39 Adam Hello Heather, how's it? Guten Abend.

30:42 Dr. Drew.

30:43 Drew And by the way, hang on a second Heather, and number the third reason, as you suspect, would be medication.

30:48 Adam Right.

30:48 Drew You might be pregnant, sound depressed.

30:49 Adam That's what I thought for sure, the way it also sounded too, sounds depressed.

30:52 Drew Heather, what's that?

30:54 Hi. Okay.

30:55 Adam I was getting an erection an hour when I was 19.

30:58 Drew Of course.

30:59 Adam Okay. Now, yes, Heather, how's Florida going? What can we do for you?

31:02 Okay. This is Germany or Florida.

31:04 Drew Hold on. We need to hear. Daggeroni sent me an email last night. He's monitoring us to make sure that we play his intros to Germany or Florida. You understand how this works, Rob?

31:15 Adam No.

31:15 Drew We've discovered that everything macabre, if it's bizarre and macabre.

31:19 Adam It's Florida.

31:19 Drew Or Germany.

31:20 Adam Oh yes, yes. You know what, you're right. The star, it's all, yeah, when an alien comes down and has four penises.

31:25 Drew Yes, or when people slice their penis up and eat it for lunch. Right, right.

31:28 Adam It's in Florida. If you're a comedian and you get arrested for macerating a theater, it's Florida.

31:33 Drew Florida.

31:33 Adam It's not gonna happen in California.

31:34 Drew That's what I'm saying.

31:35 Adam I don't want to go to Florida for that reason.

31:37 Drew And so here's David Algar's rendition of the theme song for Germany or Florida.

31:41 Caller Okay.

31:47 Drew Actually, he likes the operatic one a little better, so why don't you play that one? Man of passion. All right, Heather, here we go.

32:07 Adam Now you gotta live up to this. You gotta live up to it. What transsexual horse fetish are you talking here?

32:13 Nothing like that. What do you got? A woman suspected of killing nine of her newborn children told investigators she gave birth in secret but cannot remember how they died because she was always drunk during labor, as was said Tuesday. Beautiful. The 39-year-old unemployed dental assistant was arrested Sunday on suspicion of manslaughter after police found the nine tiny bodies buried in flower pots and a fish tank nearby. She said she can't remember how they were killed because she drank heavily when the contractions began, a prosecutor said. Police uncovered the bodies after the woman's nephew found human bones behind her parents' house on Sunday.

32:47 Adam You know, you're only hearing one side of the story. You know, you never hear the other side. It's always just the police.

32:53 Drew Could it be the attack of the fetuses?

32:54 Adam It could have been. You know, the fetuses could have been really... You don't know. Maybe they were kicking hard or something. You're only hearing one side. I want to hear the... Total bias. So what happened?

33:03 Drew So we decide, did that happen in Germany or Florida?

33:06 Adam That's got to be Florida.

33:07 Drew I'm thinking Florida too. Heather?

33:10 Oh, I'm sorry. Germany.

33:11 Drew Oh, you see? You see, that's how you play Germany or Florida. She got us. Sounded so Florida. I mean, drinking heavy, bearing your babies in the backyard.

33:20 Adam Yeah, I saw the swamps. I saw the mass of the movie theater. Yeah.

33:25 Drew Oh, yes, yes. Heather, wait.

33:26 Adam I guarantee you, she was in Florida before she went back to Germany.

33:29 I'm sorry?

33:30 Adam She definitely went to Florida to go to... Before she decided to do this.

33:34 Drew Just for finishing school. Just for finishing school. All right, anyway.

33:37 Adam Wow, that's a good one.

33:38 Drew Tori21.

33:39 Adam I'm new to this game.

33:41 I'm calling from Oklahoma and I've been dating my boyfriend now for a little over a month. We've known each other for 11 years. We became sexually active in the very beginning.

33:50 Drew Hold on.

33:51 Adam Whoa, whoa. Now, I've never known a girl that I was attracted to and waited 11 years before I started banging her. I just... That doesn't make sense.

33:57 Drew Not only that, how can you actually call yourself dating at 10?

34:00 I grew up with him. He was best friends with my sister growing up.

34:04 Drew When did you actually become boy... When did you become boyfriend-girlfriend?

34:08 Caller About a month ago.

34:09 Adam Okay.

34:10 Drew Did you say you've been dating 11 years?

34:12 Adam No, they said they've known him for 11 years, and now he finally...

34:15 I've known him for 11 years.

34:16 Adam And how old are you?

34:17 I'm 21. He's 23.

34:19 Adam Okay, 21. Okay, so, all right.

34:21 And so, anyhow, we became sexually active in the beginning, and now I'm Mormon, and I'm having a lot of guilt about my religion. My religion plays a big role in my life. And I decided I want to take away the sex now.

34:36 One, because of my religion.

34:38 Drew You want to do what with the sex?

34:39 Adam You want to what?

34:40 I want to take the sex away.

34:42 Drew You're offending Rob.

34:43 Adam You want to take the sex away?

34:45 Drew How dare you?

34:46 Adam Are you enjoying it?

34:48 I enjoy it.

34:49 Adam Why do you want to take the sex away?

34:51 Caller I feel guilty.

34:53 Adam Guilty over what? God made you to enjoy this.

34:56 Right, but I believe in not premarital sex.

35:00 Adam You know what? You've already crossed the line there. You're in the sexual time zone. You switched time zones. You went from not... So basically, what are you going to take the sex away and still want to have a relationship with this guy?

35:12 Yes, that's what I'm wanting to do. And he doesn't want to respect that fact. And I'm also very scared of becoming a single mom. And I'm on birth control.

35:23 Adam Okay, well then you're on birth control. I mean...

35:25 And I take it faithfully. It's just I have this fear that I'm going to get pregnant.

35:30 Adam Well, you know what? They got these things now in the drugstores called condoms. You can be on the pill and make him use a condom, too, if you're that paranoid.

35:38 Drew Okay, here's what I want to do.

35:39 Caller He refuses to use a condom.

35:40 Drew All right, first of all, wait, wait, stop, stop. Rob, I want you to read this, and then we're going to give her a thing of condoms.

35:46 Adam Here's what we're going to do. One lucky...

35:47 Caller I have a whole bunch.

35:50 Drew Hold on.

35:50 Caller I have like 50.

35:51 Adam All right, well, you got 50. Good Lord, that's a weekend.

35:54 Drew Here we go.

35:55 Adam One lucky person tonight will win a Durex party. That's right, a Durex party pack. The party pack includes CDs, a poker set, money, and of course, some Durex condoms. Each night this week, I will decide who has the best call of the night, and that person will win the party pack. Winner must be 18 years old or older to win. Brought to you by Durex. There's sex, and then there's Durex.

36:16 Drew So what do you think, Tori gets them?

36:17 Adam Tori, you should definitely get some. And make him wear two, just so that when he takes one, when he only wears one, he feels like crazy. Feels crazy sexual. But listen, I don't know, there's a morality thing here. And I can't just say that your feelings aren't valid. I mean.

36:37 Caller A lot of it influences from my family. My family buts in my relationship.

36:42 Drew Do they know you're sexually active?

36:44 Adam Why can't you just hide it from them, like I do?

36:46 Caller My family's the type of family, even all we're Mormon, that will talk about sex at Thanksgiving dinner.

36:52 Drew Rob has been married for years and managed to hide the fact that he's sexually active from his mother.

36:55 Adam My mother still doesn't think I'm having sex.

36:57 Caller Well, my mom knows.

36:59 Caller I'm very close with my mom.

37:00 Drew And they want you to stop.

37:02 Adam Well, your mom's never gonna say, you know what, go wilds. Have sex with abandoned, please.

37:09 Drew I think that we should.

37:10 Adam Here's a party pack from Durex.

37:12 Drew She's an adult and she should make her own choices. However, it's not us to stomp on her values or her religious orientation.

37:19 Adam I mean, I think, let me ask you.

37:21 Drew In particular, since it's a very, she sounds like a healthy person. Hold on, can I tell you about that? No, it's not fair to him, but hold on. So you're very tight with your family, which is a wonderful thing, and your family has these values, and this is a way of sort of retaining your connection with your family. And yes, we understand that's what you'd want to do. The boyfriend, 21 year old man, probably not gonna hang out for this once it's started.

37:43 Adam Let me tell you, first of all, he's just starting his life and thinking, hey, this is the greatest, and you want to cut it off.

37:49 Caller He's trying to pursue a music career.

37:52 Adam Okay, let me tell you, let me just cut you off for a second. He's trying to pursue a music career. Well, let me tell you what, there's about 100 ladies he's gonna move through before he decides to want to settle down. He's gonna, in as many states as he can, his plaque is just starting to get filled up with girls' names, and yours is on it.

38:09 Drew Here's the deal, I don't think this guy's for you. It seems like you, Tory, want to find...

38:12 Adam You're not really into him.

38:13 Drew Well, she wants to find somebody who wants to get married now.

38:15 Adam He's more or less safe. Listen, you want to enjoy your sex life, but you want to do it from a morally, ethically comfortable place.

38:22 Drew Consistent with her values.

38:23 Adam Yeah, and I gotta say, once you make a choice, make a choice for you, you stick to it, and it doesn't matter what the guy thinks. You just have to stick to it.

38:31 Drew I totally agree with that.

38:31 Adam And you can't undermine it because, oh, he's pushing me or whatever. You have to stick to that and that's it. However, you also, it doesn't sound like you're really that into this guy. It sounds like if you were madly in love with him, you'd still be having sex with him anyway and know you guys are going to be together.

38:46 Drew It could be true. However, I think one of the reasons she's not into him is she knows he's not a Mormon. He's not going to get married now and that's what she wants, so go get that.

38:53 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. You sound okay.

38:54 Drew Danielle, 17.

38:56 Caller Hi.

38:57 Drew Hi, what's up?

38:59 Rob Schneider I don't know how to ask my boyfriend if I can actually cut his penis.

39:06 Drew Germany or Florida?

39:08 Adam I'm going to get him. Northern Florida. That's right. Okay, how close to the swamp do you live?

39:16 Drew You want to cut his penis?

39:18 Adam Yeah. You don't know how to ask him? Why do you want to cut his penis? What for? You mean you want to put like a prince? Is he uncircumcised?

39:26 Rob Schneider No, no, I actually want to cut it with a razor blade. He's let me cut other parts of him before.

39:32 Adam Why would you want to cut his penis?

39:33 Drew First of all, here's what you're going to hear. Janice, I need that paddle foot sound. As soon as you bring the razor blade near the peeneye, that's what you're going to hear. And if you don't...

39:45 Adam Hey Mo, this girl wants to cut my penis. Hey, what am I going to do? Hey Mo. Curly, get over here. Why are you saying a girl wants to cut your penis? I told you about that. Hey Mo, should I let her cut other parts of my body?

40:00 Caller Why can't I let her cut my penis?

40:02 Adam I told you about these crazy girls in Florida. Let me tell you something. Well, let me tell you something. You know what? That's one of those things. Now, she's, how old are you?

40:13 Drew Are you more likely to cut his throat than his penis?

40:16 Adam Where do you go from here? You know what? You cut his penis. I mean, that can't be that thrilling for you. That's very sadist.

40:23 Drew What do you think that's going to do for you?

40:26 Rob Schneider I think it's just going to turn me on.

40:29 Adam You know what? That's gross. First of all, I'm not 100% sure this is a real call, but also, you know what? Where are you going to go from here? How old are you? 17. All right. Yeah, 17. Okay. Wow. How many uncles molested you? Three. None. None?

40:46 Drew Come on.

40:47 Adam Come on. Tell us. Have you ever been physically abused?

40:50 Caller No.

40:51 Adam Raped?

40:52 Caller No.

40:54 Adam Never against your will?

40:56 No.

40:58 Adam Daddy never wanted to ask you to climb underneath the coffee table while he does something on top of the coffee table?

41:05 No.

41:06 Adam Vice versa.

41:07 Drew This isn't computing.

41:08 Adam All right. This doesn't really make sense.

41:10 Drew Yeah. Danielle, it's a horrible impulse. It's a bad idea. You can harm...

41:14 Adam You can go to jail for that.

41:15 Drew You can go to jail for it. You can hurt somebody permanently. They can never recover.

41:19 Caller Well, I think he'd be welling.

41:21 Drew Oh, well, that's okay if he wants to die of a flesh-eating bacteria starting in the penis area. That's fine. That's fine.

41:27 Adam Well, you obviously really care about this person.

41:30 Drew You don't understand what you're asking for. This is exceedingly dangerous and a very bizarre and inappropriate impulse.

41:38 Adam I mean, seriously, you need to back it up and just keep crapping on each other. Take it one step back. All right?

41:46 Drew Back to the mudslide?

41:48 Adam Go back to taking out the plastic garbage bag and defecating on each other and then just stay there.

41:54 Drew Strangely, that sounds appealing.

41:56 Adam Stay there for a while compared to like the slicing. I mean, I don't know. I mean, that's a tough one.

42:01 Drew I would really look into some help with this.

42:02 Adam Yeah, you know what?

42:03 Drew The cutting and all that.

42:04 Adam There's a counselor that you can go see. You really can. I mean, I think if you were needing that to feel excited, I think that might turn me on. What if it didn't? What if it repulsed you forever? And what if he did get some sickness? I mean, if you really care about somebody, which sounds like you obviously are incapable of doing at this point, you need to seek help.

42:24 Drew She hung up on us. She doesn't want to hear it. Rob Schneider, Deuce Bigelow, European Gigolo, opens August 12th. We'll be back after this.

42:31 Adam We'll be back with more penis slicing.

43:05 Drew Thank you. It's Love Line. Yeah, baby. One night of Rob Schneider just kicking butt tonight. Covering from the great Adam Carolla.

43:12 Adam Now, yeah, that's some big shoes to fill, but I think I got one of them.

43:15 Drew You filled them, you filled them. You filled them. In fact, they feel a little tight to me.

43:18 Adam We were talking about that last insane caller who's a sicko. But you know what? But the penis thing, things happening to the penis, I think is a-

43:26 Drew Oh, yes, interesting topic.

43:28 Adam Is a fear that is primal, and I guarantee you cavemen were worried that rocks would hit their penis. Yes, well think about it this way. Or they would be eaten by a lion penis first.

43:39 Drew Think about all the, where else in your body is so much nerve and nervous input, central nervous system input is concentrated.

43:46 Adam Yes, there's a lot of attention to that at part of my body.

43:48 Drew It's your brain and your penis.

43:49 Adam Yeah, that's pretty much the two.

43:50 Drew Yeah, and so-

43:51 Adam So far. I mean, maybe some other, maybe my armpit might take over, but I doubt it.

43:54 Drew And certainly the psychoanalytic literature is replete with discussions about the meaning, the symbolism of the penis and the testes. As I sort of understand it, the penis is you. The penis is you, okay. And it kind of is-

44:04 Adam Thank you. I take it as a compliment.

44:06 Drew Some people even have sort of-

44:06 Adam Let me dig through to find the compliment.

44:08 Drew And even that can have various kinds of meaning. There can be a big you and a little you.

44:11 Adam That's true.

44:12 Drew And you can have the penis taken away by people. And the other thing is-

44:15 Adam Your penis doesn't work as well, then you don't work as well.

44:17 Drew It's too small, you're small. We have a lot of guys-

44:19 Adam So what does it mean then if, because I've had a dream, and it doesn't happen a lot out there, but I've had a dream where my penis fell off, and I was desperately running around trying to think, where the heck did I leave it or where did it fall off? I'm running around, I'm looking for my penis, I go, what the heck happened? And I just remember waking up in a cold sweat, and it was like, it was one of those things, I don't remember most of my dreams, but that one, that one-

44:42 Drew It was a recurring dream.

44:43 Adam Came to the front.

44:43 Drew Do you remember what was going on in your life at that time?

44:45 Adam I think there was some crazy stuff going on in my life, like a big change in my life. Were you a kid? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but just feeling kind of lost.

44:52 Drew Did you have a sense of it being big or small? Like if there was an impulse that came with it, like my little penis was lost?

44:57 Adam I think I wasn't able to find it, so maybe that was one of the things. I just remember like I'm ripping up the couch, I'm looking behind the couch, looking and I'm fine, you know, just looking around.

45:08 Drew No, no.

45:09 Adam And then you're running around, you know I don't want to tell people, what's going on, are you okay? I'm looking for my penis. No, I'm not okay, I can't find my penis.

45:18 Drew So you can see, could you see how, I mean in sort of gross general sense, it's kind of looking, you feel lost. Definitely. I think a man could understand that as a feeling of I'm lost.

45:30 Adam Yes, I've lost, I lost my penis, there was some loss.

45:33 Drew Therefore, I'm lost.

45:34 Adam Yeah, I would agree with that, I mean I haven't had that gross sense.

45:37 Drew Corolla had, there's a different sort of flavor to the testes now. Okay. Corolla had a dream where what he described as two haunchy women, I'll remind everyone that he was always, when he told me this dream, I realized he always described his mother and grandmother as haunchy women.

45:51 Adam Wow.

45:52 Drew Where he was swimming in a pool, and two haunchy women were standing over him while he was trying to climb up the side of the pool, and beating him over the head with his own testes till he almost drowned.

46:01 Adam Wow. He had strong women in his life. Yeah. He had strong women in his life. That's too strong of a woman. I had a very dominant woman, and my mother is an extremely dominant woman, a very strong overbearing woman. In a good sense, she's a powerful lady, but it was more stronger than my father, and I know that that's affected me. I find myself wanting to be with women who were powerful women.

46:27 Drew So you like the, what's the name of the warrior, the Amazon type women? That's a fantasy that is- Xena? Xena is more of an appealing image for you. That's an appealing image.

46:36 Adam Yeah, I think so too. I liked jocks. I liked women who played basketball. What was the turn onto me?

46:41 Drew The Xena thing goes with the penis stuff. Those are actually called phallic females.

46:45 Adam Maybe.

46:46 Drew Yeah, interesting.

46:46 Adam You're saying I'm a fag? What's going on?

46:49 Drew Well, you like your women? Well, I'm just saying.

46:50 Adam I like my women. I like...

46:52 Drew Use your imagination.

46:52 Adam I like a woman who's strong.

46:54 Drew So anyway, we got to go take another break. No. Rob, you've been talking too much. We haven't had a chance to take any calls. The movie opens Friday, August 12th. Deuce Bigelow, European Gigolo. I've got Discovery Health Channel tonight.

47:03 Adam Kind of.

47:04 Drew Tonight's show on Thursday night with Jay Leno and Rob Schneider.

47:07 Adam We'll be back with Rob. Hey, great to have you on the show. Dr. Drew will be right back.

48:00 Drew That's right, it's Loveline, I'm Dr. Drew. This is Rob Schneider filling the shoes of Adam Corolla, and his feet are beginning to fit those shoes quite nicely.

48:08 Adam I'm on a shoe and a half now. I gotta say, that song felt like the last song of the night kind of song. We're just rolling.

48:13 Drew No, we're just, yeah, we're just getting going.

48:14 Adam We're just getting going.

48:14 Drew We got a couple threesome calls coming in here.

48:16 Adam Don't feel like that.

48:17 Drew Oh, this is the show we end with, this is what we end with, this is the song.

48:20 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no. That song is a mistake, people, don't pay attention. Musically, don't go by that.

48:24 Drew I was looking over some of your IMDB stuff here, notable TV appearances, Otro Rolocon. You're on TV in Mexico?

48:34 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. As a matter of fact, there was some game show.

48:36 Drew Big Brother VIP?

48:37 Adam Yeah, I did Big Brother VIP. Do you speak Spanish? In Mexico, I'm huge in Mexico.

48:41 Drew Do you speak Spanish?

48:42 Adam I'm actually taking Spanish lessons.

48:44 Drew But I mean, when you go on these TV shows, you speak English, you don't speak?

48:46 Adam I do English and then they translate, I speak a little bit of Spanish.

48:49 Drew Do they speak English to you?

48:51 Adam I'm funnier apparently when they translate me. But you know what, I'm huge in Spanish. In Mexico, that's my biggest market. The United States and then Mexico to Mexico, oh my god, I go to a press conference here, the press, I get any respect in America from critics or whatever. In Mexico, I go down there, I have a press conference, there's a hundred reporters.

49:09 Drew What do you think that is?

49:09 Adam They just think I'm a genius in Mexico.

49:11 Drew This is like you're the Mexican Jerry Lewis.

49:13 Adam I'm the Canton Floss of Mexico. Let me tell you about the Jerry Lewis thing by the way. Jerry Lewis was the, everybody, they were all mystified by, why does the French love Jerry Lewis? Jerry Lewis, especially after Jerry Lewis was making the same kind of movies, which weren't decreasingly funny, depending, at least in my mind.

49:32 Drew They were decreasingly funny or they weren't?

49:33 Adam They weren't as funny. They were decreasing in their unfriendly.

49:36 Drew The Nutty Professor was not high in the comedic, classic scale.

49:39 Adam If you're a little kid, it's just basically the same kind of, to me, not as clever or whatever. It didn't hold up to Peter Sellers and Monty Python. He was still killing in France. Everybody was mystified, the French, blah, blah, blah. What it really was, was that he was being dubbed by the greatest French comedian, Louis Fornay or...

50:03 Drew Was he ad-libbing a little bit?

50:04 Adam I'm sure he was. She's making it hilarious. Then, you'd see a movie of Jerry Lewis in France, and he would be murdering. They'd be dying in there.

50:13 Drew What you're saying is you hired the most comedically genius... He did... .but in Mexico, you hired the Mexican equivalent. You hired a genius to dub you in.

50:21 Adam I'm not dubbed. I'm not dubbed. It's subtitled.

50:25 Drew You hired somebody to sub-title it, so it's funny.

50:27 Adam What I was saying, and then when that guy died, when Jerry Lewis is the guy dubbing him, he never had another hit in France. True story.

50:33 Drew True story.

50:33 Adam I don't know how to... It's not sexually relatable to the show, but...

50:38 Drew Here's another not sexually relatable call. Let's take this one. Kaylee, 24.

50:42 Caller Hi.

50:44 Rob Schneider I was wondering, Rob, like, I saw Saturday Night Live when you were on it.

50:50 Adam Okay.

50:52 Rob Schneider Oh, by the way, you're hot.

50:53 Drew She was 10.

50:54 Adam Oh, thank you. You were 10.

50:55 Rob Schneider Thank you. And I was wondering, like, do you still, like, talk to, like, David Spade and Adam Sandler?

51:02 Adam Oh, yeah, yeah. I just did a movie called The Benchwarmers with, starring David Spade and myself and John Heater from Napoleon Dynamite.

51:12 Drew Oh.

51:13 Adam Yeah, it was, and Adam Sandler wrote it with Nick Swartzen and Alan Covert.

51:17 Drew It says here, she's asking, wondering what your favorite character was. Wow.

51:21 Rob Schneider Oh, no, I'm asking, like, does he still, like, talk to him?

51:23 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

51:24 Adam I mean, I don't hang out with David. Well, David and I used to be best buddies back in, you know, back in the late 80s, and then we got to Saturday Night Live, and I don't know, but he's a great guy. He really is a sweet, very nice guy. And really funny, and I think he's in a really interesting, good place in his life. I mean, he's the kind of guy who was like, I don't know how much success he had with women when he was younger, became famous.

51:45 Drew Oh, I'm sure he was huge.

51:47 Adam Gave him the opportunity. You know, what is he, five, one or something? But he gave him the opportunity, you know, being famous Saturday Night Live, to go out with models, to bang models for crying out loud, and that was like, you know, things like his dream come true, and he's been kind of doing that, and after 15, 20 years, I see him now, I think he's ready for a relationship. I don't know. Maybe by the time he's 80, he'll settle down and say, you know what I want, but I actually see him wanting to have a relationship.

52:08 Drew That's good. Did you have a favorite role on Satellite? Favorite skit, favorite recurring?

52:12 Adam Well, I kind of liked the Italian Waiters thing, where that was a lot of fun, where Adam Sandler was, him and I went to Il Cortile, which was in Little Italy, an Italian restaurant, and just the guys were all over our dates that we were with, and we were like, oh, that's beautiful, how you got it so good, and grabbing it, oh, that's beautiful, sir, beautiful, you see the beautiful belly, you like carpaccio, give carpaccio for you, so good, so good, grabbing your kids, and it's like wow, and then Adam thought of the thing, he wrote it with Rob Smygle, who's a brilliant comic writer, and they wrote this thing where they're like humping, we're taking off our clothes, and I remember like before, we were in the dressing room before the sketch, before the show, and I'm rehearsing my lines, and Adam was trimming his pubic area, and basically he came out in a diaper, and I came out, and my ass was hanging out, and I was making my, what do you call it, the apron.

53:02 Drew That's when you could do that kind of thing.

53:03 Adam Yeah, and that's when we did it, and I remember the censor crying, and he says, please don't show your ass, please. Just show half of it, please. And this is from a gay guy.

53:13 Drew That was censorship, I just didn't want to.

53:15 Adam Yeah, maybe, yeah. You haven't been working out, good lord, get to a stair master.

53:21 Drew All right, let's talk to Erika who's 19.

53:23 Adam Hi, Erika.

53:25 Drew Uh-oh, she's asleep.

53:26 Adam Come out of your shell, Erika.

53:28 Drew Erika who had the threesome.

53:29 Adam Erika, threesome, I want to hear this. This show just got better.

53:33 Drew I'm going to take another threesome call. You guys check to see where Erika is.

53:36 Adam God, 19 and threesome.

53:37 Drew This is Paul, 29.

53:39 Adam That's not as interesting.

53:40 Hi, how's it going, guys?

53:41 Adam God, we got to get back to that one.

53:43 Drew Rob doesn't like you, Paul, but go ahead.

53:44 Adam Paul, what's up?

53:45 Caller Hey, actually, I wish this was a threesome call. I was kind of broke to get on and ask Dr. Drew.

53:50 Drew Oh. All right, real quick. Ask me what?

53:54 Caller I have Lyme disease, or I have long-term Lyme, and I'm wondering if an IgM, positive IgM means you have positive Lyme, and I'm seeing this Lyme. Well, yeah.

54:05 Drew Well, here's the deal. Lyme disease is a tick-borne disease. It causes something called...

54:10 Adam Right, yeah, yeah. Well, you can get rid of that.

54:12 Drew Well, it causes erythema, chronic of migraines. It causes neurologic symptoms, arthritis, various things.

54:17 Adam Does that not make you ever want to go camping? I don't want to go camping now again.

54:20 Drew I know, especially in the East. But, Paul, you allegedly got it out here?

54:24 Caller No, I actually went to Connecticut to get it. I already had a repetitive stress injury. I went to Connecticut. Uh-oh.

54:29 Drew Are you doing drugs or something? Are you on Vicodin or something?

54:32 Caller No, I've actually seen this Lyme doctor, and he's giving me all kinds. He's giving me minocycline, Zithromax, all these antibiotics.

54:41 Adam Right, right.

54:42 Drew In the late 80s, early 90s, there were lots of Lyme doctors and everybody had Lyme. The reality is, I think I saw one case of Lyme.

54:50 Caller Really?

54:50 Drew Yeah, and so... You think you guys are over treating?

54:52 Adam Can I just...

54:53 Drew I just worry about it, that's all. I would go to a tertiary infectious disease, go to UCLA, you're here in Los Angeles, go to the infectious disease department, go to SC, go to the infectious disease guys, get a consultation, see what's going on. Because the titers that I have seen, they have to be, you have to see them go up and go down, and they have to be strongly positive to really nail it down, so go ahead.

55:13 Adam Okay, now, I don't know anything about Lyme disease, so I'm gonna tell you what I think you should do.

55:17 Drew All right.

55:18 Adam I think you should seriously start getting as healthy as you can, your immune system healthy. I mean, the one thing is, if you're taking antibiotics, antibiotics is toxic to your whole system. Yes, it can kill your infection, and if your infection is, you know, you gotta weigh things, you know, just like we were talking about with birth control, with your antibiotics, it's a really bolt to the system, but if you need it, you need it, whatever. But I think what you can do is, especially no matter what you have out there, you can boost your immune system as best as you can by eating healthy, by sleeping good, by getting enough sleep, and by taking a lot of vitamins and being healthy. I take MSM every day, I recommend that, especially for, you know, and just get, there's a wellness center. Why don't you try to do some holistic stuff, too? You know?

56:02 Drew Paul, what's with the repetitive stress injury? What was that?

56:05 Caller It was caused by typing, and then it spread through my whole body, caused fibromyalgia, chronic myopathy.

56:10 Drew You're just sounding like a...

56:11 Adam You got other issues, you got other issues. You know, there might be some psychological stuff in there, too, but however, you know, another thing is like, you can take like 10,000 milligrams of vitamin C a day, you'll be fine. You know, just anything to boost up your immune system, because it sounds like you're a wreck.

56:25 Drew Go to Infectious... First, let's see if you have Lyme, because Lyme is a potentially life-threatening condition. It's not a subtle condition, so go to Infectious Disease Consultant at a Tertiary Center, meeting at University Hospital, get that ruled out, and then I agree with what Rob is saying. This is Virginia 24.

56:42 Adam Please be a threesome. Jesus, please.

56:44 Rob Schneider No, I'm sorry. No, a threesome.

56:46 Adam How about a twosome? What? What do you got?

56:48 Rob Schneider Well, yeah, that's actually the problem.

56:50 Adam What?

56:51 Rob Schneider I'm 24, and my boyfriend's about the same age, and he's a virgin, and he was waiting for marriage, and now he's-

56:58 Adam He was waiting for marriage?

56:59 Rob Schneider He was waiting to have sex until marriage. Wow.

57:02 Adam Sounds like a loser.

57:03 Drew Better man than you were, huh?

57:04 Adam Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, God love him.

57:06 Rob Schneider He's a really great guy, and unfortunately for me-

57:10 Adam Catholic?

57:10 Rob Schneider I didn't wait for him.

57:12 Caller No, Presbyterian.

57:14 Adam All right. All right.

57:15 Caller Sorry. Whiff.

57:17 Adam Whiffed on that one. Didn't even get the bat off my shoulder. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, so he's waiting for marriage. Okay.

57:23 Rob Schneider He proposed, and my family's happy. His family's very peaceful, and now he's like, okay, let's do it. And I'm worried he's going to have reservations. It's like, all good tonight, and then tomorrow, he's going to have to go.

57:37 Drew You mean he's going to have sex with you and decide, oh, this fit wasn't, I didn't quite like this.

57:41 Adam Oh, wait a minute.

57:41 Drew I thought I would. Therefore, I'm going to call off the marriage.

57:43 Adam Did he get you a ring?

57:43 No, no, he didn't get it.

57:44 Adam Did he get you a ring?

57:45 Rob Schneider Yes, he did.

57:45 Adam He got you a ring? And you got a date?

57:48 Not yet.

57:49 Adam Okay, so you're worried that, are you madly in love with him?

57:53 Rob Schneider Yeah, we've been together for a long time, and I don't think-

57:56 Adam Are you madly in love with him?

57:58 Rob Schneider Yes, I am.

57:59 Adam You want to spend the rest of your life with him?

58:01 Rob Schneider Yes.

58:02 Adam Okay, well then, aren't you curious about trying out the goods yourself?

58:06 Caller Yeah, well I'm a little nervous.

58:07 Rob Schneider He's 6'5, I'm 5'4.

58:10 Adam You know the anatomy is amazing. I'm huge, just so you know. The way women work.

58:16 You've seen it?

58:18 Rob Schneider I've seen it.

58:19 Adam You've seen it?

58:19 Rob Schneider I've seen it.

58:20 Drew Why don't you-

58:21 Adam You've seen it.

58:23 Rob Schneider My concern is less that he's going to change his mind.

58:25 Adam Is it gigantic? You're afraid he's going to bottom out?

58:28 Rob Schneider No, my concern is less that he's going to change his mind, and more that he's going to change his mind about the wanting to have sex thing. He's going to go back and go, you know what, that really wasn't what I wanted. I think my faith says no to that.

58:41 Adam What does that mean? You're afraid that he's not going to- you're going to almost have sex and he's going to say no?

58:45 Rob Schneider No, I'm afraid that he's going to have regrets afterwards, but not-

58:48 Adam Oh, come on, no, no, no, no.

58:49 Drew Listen, you've waited this long to get married. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

58:52 Adam You know what, it'll be great. And then if he's gigantic and then maybe it might be interesting.

58:57 Drew Did you see the movie, what's the name of the guy that did the sex studies in the 50s?

59:02 Adam Kinsey.

59:03 Drew Kinsey. You see the movie Kinsey?

59:04 Adam No, I want to see that though.

59:05 Drew It's interesting.

59:05 Adam You know what, there's one thing-

59:07 Drew how's it interesting to me? He had a huge phallus.

59:09 Adam Gigantic and gally. I hate him.

59:12 Drew He's like you.

59:13 Adam You know what though, the thing is actually, no, I'm normal, moderate. I'm normal.

59:18 Drew Three inches.

59:18 Adam Normal, normal. I'm- keep going.

59:24 Drew It's fine. You're normal.

59:25 Adam Keep going. I'm normal. But the thing is-

59:27 Drew 85% of men are between five and seven. I'm normal.

59:32 Adam I'm normal. Now, the very normal. Extremely normal. I'm on the higher end of the normal. Oh, I'm sorry. Did that get through?

59:42 Drew There was a little S-bomb there, Anderson.

59:43 Adam S-bomb, sorry. Hey, first time co-host. Now, let me tell you, I have to tell you, I'm more confident than I was when I was younger male, because I remember painfully when I was madly in love with this girl, blah, blah, blah, madly in love with her, and she said to me, Oh, your penis is perfect. Thank God. I love your penis is fine. My old boyfriend was enormous. Good Lord. I just remember just my head just getting heat in my head.

1:00:14 Drew Where's that whistle?

1:00:15 Adam He was huge. Oh, my God. Then she kept going. I mean, he used to tear me in half.

1:00:21 Drew There we go. There goes Rob's penis.

1:00:23 Adam Oh, my goodness. Yeah. I mean, he used to bottom out. It was horrible. I mean, he said, did you just say bottom out, hit bottom? It's never left my head.

1:00:32 Drew The reality is we get way more complaints here about too big than too small. Really?

1:00:36 Adam Well, thank God for that.

1:00:37 Drew But you're normal.

1:00:39 Adam I'm normal.

1:00:39 Drew Extra normal.

1:00:41 Adam I'm on the end of the normal side.

1:00:43 Drew Without bottoming out. We got Erica back.

1:00:44 Adam No bottoming out. Erica, please.

1:00:46 Drew Erica, what's up?

1:00:47 Caller Hey. There we are.

1:00:49 Adam Okay.

1:00:49 Caller Hi.

1:00:51 Adam Bottoming out? What happened?

1:00:54 Caller My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year and a half now. And he decided that since our sex life wasn't going so good that we should bring another person in.

1:01:05 Adam Did he bring that up? Did he actually say, you know our sex life's not going that good? How did that come up and how did that make you feel?

1:01:11 Rob Schneider Well, he just kind of mentioned it.

1:01:12 Caller He said it's something like he always wanted to do.

1:01:15 Adam No, but how did he say that? Oh, come on. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1:01:17 Drew Yeah.

1:01:18 Adam This is lacking credibility now.

1:01:19 Drew He didn't say our sex life isn't going so well. You sort of did that editorial. You slipped the editorial piece in when he brought up the threesome.

1:01:26 Adam So when he was saying, you know what my- That's how it felt. That's how it felt. Okay.

1:01:30 Drew Listen, all young males want to have threesomes. All young males will try to force this on people. How old is he? Oh, this guy's a diabolical. Wow. Why are you with a thirty-six-year-old?

1:01:43 Because I don't know.

1:01:44 Caller He's just the nicest guy that I know.

1:01:48 Drew Do you work?

1:01:49 Adam Okay.

1:01:49 Caller Do you go to school?

1:01:50 Drew What do you do?

1:01:51 Adam Starbucks.

1:01:53 Caller Uh-huh.

1:01:54 Adam Do you work at Starbucks?

1:01:56 Drew What do you do? You work? You go to school?

1:01:58 Caller I go to school.

1:01:59 Adam Where do you work?

1:02:01 Drew Starbucks. Huh? You should go to Loyola Marymount.

1:02:04 Adam No, that's a good school. That's a really good school.

1:02:06 Drew Where did you meet this guy? Who is he?

1:02:09 Caller He's a friend of my mom's.

1:02:10 Adam Friend of your mom's. There you go. We have a winner.

1:02:14 Drew Winner. She must be delighted.

1:02:16 Adam I bet your mom loves. Does your mom know you're banging this guy?

1:02:18 Drew And that he wants another woman involved, too?

1:02:20 Adam Mom, guess what? That friend you introduced me to? He's great. Not only am I sleeping with him, but also, here's the good part, he wants a threesome.

1:02:30 Drew With another girl, right?

1:02:32 Caller Yeah, we did it with another girl.

1:02:33 Drew You did it?

1:02:34 Caller Yeah.

1:02:35 Adam So what was that like?

1:02:37 Caller Well, that's the problem.

1:02:38 Adam Let's have some music. Can we have some soft music with this? Okay, so what happened? How was it?

1:02:43 Caller The during was fine, but like afterwards...

1:02:46 Adam That's right, baby. Tell me more. After what happened, baby?

1:02:50 Caller I can't stop thinking about her.

1:02:52 Adam Yeah, baby. You can't stop thinking about her. Yes. What's her name, baby?

1:02:56 Caller Heather.

1:02:57 Adam Oh yeah, Heather. She nice. You thinking about her, right? What you thinking, baby?

1:03:02 Caller Well, like, the thing is, I'm not like, I don't like her, but I...

1:03:07 Drew You don't like Laker?

1:03:08 Adam Yeah, I don't like her either, but you keep talking, baby.

1:03:11 Caller I'm just thinking sexually about her.

1:03:12 Adam Oh, no, you don't thinking that. Why would you all think that? You all see Heather again, don't you?

1:03:18 Caller Talk to me, baby.

1:03:19 Adam Yeah, you do. You're going to videotape it for Drew and for Rob Schneider. No, Sarah. Okay.

1:03:27 Caller All right. All right.

1:03:28 Drew I'm sorry. I think the reason you're goofing is you don't believe her, neither do I.

1:03:32 Adam Well, I think there's lack some credibility.

1:03:33 Drew Yes, I would agree.

1:03:34 Adam A little bit.

1:03:35 Drew However, However, that kind of thing does happen. What does happen with reasons, people walk away with impressions and feelings and it's all kinds of chaotic results that they don't anticipate.

1:03:45 Adam Yeah. Well, I would say this, if it is a fact, a true thing, then she probably felt a closer connection to this woman who probably is more sincere in this thing than this loser older guy who's just using her as a sexual play thing. Which isn't a bad idea, by the way.

1:04:00 Caller So does that mean I'm a lesbian?

1:04:03 Drew No.

1:04:03 Adam No, it just means, you know what, first of all, a lot of women, just because you're attracted to another woman or you have an experience, it doesn't mean you're a lesbian. It just means you're open to sexual experimentation.

1:04:12 Drew She wasn't open. She sort of was exposed to it.

1:04:15 Caller Yes.

1:04:15 Drew And walked away with surprising feelings of arousal.

1:04:18 Adam Okay.

1:04:19 Drew That's fine.

1:04:19 Adam That's all right.

1:04:20 Drew It doesn't make you anything.

1:04:21 Adam It doesn't make you a lesbian.

1:04:22 Drew It makes you foolish for engaging in this stuff.

1:04:24 Adam It makes me-

1:04:25 Drew A whole 36-year-old.

1:04:26 Adam You should make you realize that you're more interested in this woman. That's how vacuous this guy is.

1:04:30 Drew And here's the thing. He's probably thinking about her too. I'm probably going to call her up and date her.

1:04:33 Adam And baby, maybe I'll do this again when I'm drunk.

1:04:37 Drew I just, the whole situation just sounds horrible. You're 19. You deserve better.

1:04:41 Adam Tell your mom.

1:04:42 Drew Don't spend your college years with some 36-year-old jack-off. This is where it comes in.

1:04:45 Adam Date people your own age. You're LMU. She's a pretty smart girl to go to LMU.

1:04:49 Drew Yeah, that's a good school. Amanda 25. Here we go.

1:04:52 Adam Amanda.

1:04:54 Drew She needs to date guys her own age, just date and find some relationships. This is ridiculous. Amanda, what's up?

1:04:59 Caller Hi.

1:05:01 Rob Schneider I am 25 in Sacramento, and my boyfriend likes me to dress up in a schoolgirl outfit, which I don't think is abnormal or anything, but he also likes to play the daddy-daughter role.

1:05:12 Drew Uh-oh.

1:05:13 Caller I wasn't sure when it crosses over.

1:05:18 Adam Did I just say that out loud?

1:05:20 Caller I'm sorry.

1:05:20 Rob Schneider I didn't know.

1:05:20 Adam I just all of a sudden, I was supposed to think that.

1:05:22 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:05:23 Adam Okay, so, okay, daddy.

1:05:24 Drew You also told me to slow down.

1:05:25 Adam All right. Hang on a second. Let me take out my pants. You were saying? And so you're a nice girl to do this. Okay, so guys, you're playing the father-daughter thing. Does that make you feel weird?

1:05:33 Rob Schneider Yeah, it does, but I was just wondering, you know...

1:05:35 Adam You know, you could say limits. You know, you can say, you know what? The little girl thing I'm cool with, the nun thing is also okay, nursey, nursey, I'm a little uncomfortable with, but the daughter-granddaddy thing I'm not so comfortable with.

1:05:49 Drew Who's initiating this, you or he?

1:05:52 He's doing it.

1:05:53 Drew He wants to be the daddy, and he wants you to be the girl.

1:05:56 Rob Schneider Yeah, and I'm just wondering if, you know, when is it just a harmless fantasy, and when does it show...

1:06:02 Adam Let me ask you, does he...

1:06:03 Drew It's a problem when he actually goes after little girls.

1:06:06 Caller That's when it's a problem.

1:06:08 Adam Does he have... Has he downloaded some child porn?

1:06:12 Drew Yeah, there you go, it's also where it gets bad.

1:06:15 Adam Just ask him.

1:06:16 Drew If he does, that's bad.

1:06:17 Adam Then you would... Now let me ask you, how long have you been with this guy, and how old is he?

1:06:22 Rob Schneider I've been with him for two years, and he's 30.

1:06:24 Adam Okay, so you're within the range there. Now, do you like this guy? Have you had a relationship? Have you guys traveled together? Do you guys spend time together? Do you really like him? Tell me.

1:06:34 Rob Schneider Yeah, I moved out to California for him.

1:06:37 Drew From where?

1:06:38 Caller From Idaho.

1:06:41 Drew Well, how did you guys meet on the web?

1:06:42 Yeah.

1:06:45 Drew He was fishing around for young girls.

1:06:47 Rob Schneider Well, I was 21 at the time.

1:06:50 Caller Well, I was 22 when we met.

1:06:52 Drew Anything about this website we should know?

1:06:54 Caller No, it was actually a political chat room.

1:06:58 Adam You know, those are the worst, by the way.

1:06:59 Drew Really?

1:07:00 Adam The sexual pervs. They just get in through that political thing, and then, boom, the next thing you know, mommy.

1:07:06 Drew How long you know him?

1:07:07 Caller Daddy.

1:07:08 Adam Daddy. Touching me.

1:07:10 Drew How long have you known him, Amanda?

1:07:12 Adam Two years, you said. Two years, huh?

1:07:13 Drew How long have you been living with him?

1:07:15 Rob Schneider We're not living together now.

1:07:16 Adam Okay. Now, let me ask you this.

1:07:18 Drew You moved out here to be with him, you're having sex, and you're not living with him?

1:07:20 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:07:21 Drew How long have you been out here?

1:07:24 Rob Schneider Three years.

1:07:25 Drew And why are you not living with him?

1:07:27 Rob Schneider Because he got a job in San Rafael, so he moved down there, and I have school here in Sacramento.

1:07:33 Adam Can I ask you something? When you're together, how much of it is comfortable when you're with him, and how much is it like he's getting uncomfortable in the sexual kind of way?

1:07:41 Caller As far as sexually?

1:07:44 Adam You guys hang out and enjoy each other?

1:07:45 Rob Schneider Oh, yeah.

1:07:46 Caller Everything except for that one part.

1:07:49 Adam Does he make you do it each time now?

1:07:52 Rob Schneider He doesn't ever make me, but it's very hard for him to climax if I'm not in that role.

1:07:57 Adam Okay. Well, then he has some other issues.

1:07:59 Drew That's a true fetish then.

1:08:00 Adam Yeah. There's something going on there. Did you ever ask him, like, have you broached the reason, the discussion? What turns you on about this?

1:08:08 Rob Schneider I have, and he gets really guilty about it. Like, he feels like that makes him a pervert, and he doesn't want to talk about it because he just feels so much guilt over it.

1:08:17 Drew Well, one of the reasons that people feel overwhelmed by these things is something happened to them.

1:08:21 Adam Well, it sounds like there was, you know what, I mean, just so we can turn it around. Now, I would say that there's something in his past, and Dr. Drew will back me up.

1:08:28 Drew I'm with you.

1:08:29 Adam There's something in his past where he's now regressing to that moment where, to try to get his power back or something to that thing. And so there's definitely some issue in his background.

1:08:39 Drew I'm bravely concerned that there's more going on here. And if he is downloading child porn, you gotta go look at his history on his computer.

1:08:45 Adam Check it out.

1:08:46 Drew But also, look at his hard drives and things.

1:08:49 Adam And also talk to him as you seek therapy if you like this guy. Maybe you can maybe help him by...

1:08:54 Drew Before he does hurt somebody, before he really does act in a way, maybe going down a slippery slope.

1:08:59 Adam Maybe you're opening up an area there that you wanna not go with him on.

1:09:04 Drew This is Eric 25.

1:09:05 Adam Hey Eric.

1:09:05 Caller Hey guys, what's happening?

1:09:07 Adam Pretty good, man. What's going on, man?

1:09:08 Drew Rob Schneider.

1:09:09 Caller Hey Rob, it is such a small world.

1:09:11 Drew Who's Jiggalo? European Jiggalo.

1:09:13 Caller My ex-girlfriend, Rob.

1:09:15 Adam Who, Dad?

1:09:17 Caller The one who I used to rip in half.

1:09:19 Adam Hey! Let me tell you, buddy, that was...

1:09:24 Caller Adam would have been right on that.

1:09:25 Drew Oh, dude, you called... This guy called twice last night.

1:09:28 Adam You were good.

1:09:28 Drew Isn't that you?

1:09:29 Caller No, I didn't. No, I didn't.

1:09:30 Drew You got that same voice.

1:09:31 Adam You said, tear me in half. Your penis is perfect. It's never a problem. I mean, it just fits. It's very comfortable, your penis.

1:09:38 Drew What's that, Eric?

1:09:39 Caller I said, this is the guy that works at the print shop.

1:09:41 Drew Oh, yeah, okay. I recognize your voice.

1:09:43 Caller I'm not that guy who was criticizing Adam's new show. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:09:46 Adam So what do you got? Yes, sir.

1:09:47 Caller Rob, I happen to know that you have an incredible singing voice, and I was wondering if you ever did anything musical. You ever put out any CDs or anything like that?

1:09:55 Adam Well, you know what? I'm actually getting close to doing a show in Vegas, actually. It's funny you mentioned this.

1:10:01 Caller What?

1:10:01 Adam Yeah.

1:10:02 Drew Like a showroom show?

1:10:03 Adam Yeah, it's going to be a show, but it's going to be a comedy show.

1:10:05 Drew I have to see this.

1:10:06 Adam It's called, people ask me about Tiny Elves, it's something I did on Saturday Night Live.

1:10:10 Drew Tiny Elves?

1:10:11 Adam I'm trying to work it out. The guy from Aveda on Broadway is going to do, I think that's what the show was called. Aveda? No, some Broadway show, whatever, and we're talking about doing a Tiny Elves in Vegas, which would be more better than Broadway, but it would just be like me on stage with gigantic furniture, and then we're trying to figure out how to make it work when other people, like I'm going to get John Lovett in it and other people, where I'm tiny and then they're normal size.

1:10:38 Drew How interesting.

1:10:39 Adam It's just I'm working out the plot.

1:10:41 Drew Is this you mean you're talking about a stage?

1:10:43 Adam A stage show. A stage show.

1:10:44 Drew The guy from Broadway, you're talking about somebody who produces.

1:10:46 Adam Yeah, so we're just trying to work out the technical things and then do it.

1:10:49 Drew And it's also a musical writer or a producer.

1:10:52 Adam I'm going to write the show, but a producer to actually work out the technical aspects of it. Tiny little wheels.

1:10:57 Drew That would be so much fun.

1:10:58 Adam That would be fun to do. But it's a big commitment. But thank you. I appreciate that.

1:11:01 Drew I have to see that.

1:11:02 Adam Bruce Springsteen says I do the best elbow she's ever heard.

1:11:04 Drew You have got to notify us when that comes around.

1:11:07 Adam Absolutely. You'll be the first night.

1:11:09 Drew Here is now another fetish call. Amanda, 18.

1:11:12 Rob Schneider Hey.

1:11:13 Drew Hey, what's going on there?

1:11:14 Rob Schneider Hi. I just have a little bit of a problem. See, I have a foot fetish and...

1:11:21 Adam So, okay, yeah.

1:11:22 Rob Schneider And I suck toes pretty often and I've never had a problem, but this past Saturday I went out and I met a guy and just went home with him and I ended up sucking his toes.

1:11:31 Drew All right. Hold on a second, man. Hold on. We actually have to take a break right now. Rob Schneider is here with us tonight. His show opens on August 12th. That's Friday. He'll be on The Tonight Show on Thursday. Deuce Bigelow, European gigolo. That's the name of the film. And we'll be right back with more after this. Loveline, we're going to get back to Amanda and her fetishistic behaviors. 1-800-LOVE-191, Rob Schneider here. Fetish expert, threesome expert.

1:12:31 Adam I'm here for you.

1:12:31 Drew Rock contour, Deuce Bigelow. Amanda, what's going on?

1:12:35 Adam Okay, Amanda, what do you got?

1:12:36 Rob Schneider Well, like I was saying, I love feet. I love toes. I love sucking them, just toes.

1:12:43 Adam There's not toes that turn you off? You know, the trucker takes off his boots.

1:12:48 Drew We call that onychogryphosis.

1:12:50 Adam Yeah.

1:12:51 Drew Those claw-like toes.

1:12:52 Adam The fungus. So any foot and you're just dripping wet?

1:12:58 Caller Oh, yeah, any foot.

1:12:59 Adam Any foot?

1:13:00 It could be a sunken foot.

1:13:02 Adam Come on.

1:13:04 Rob Schneider You got to help me with my problem, Drew.

1:13:05 Drew All right, here we go.

1:13:06 Rob Schneider All right. Saturday, I went out and I met this guy, went back to his place. I didn't really know him, but he had nice feet. He had these Birkenstock sandals on, his feet were nice.

1:13:16 Adam Okay.

1:13:16 Rob Schneider So we went back to his place and I ended up sucking his toes. Well, a few days later-

1:13:20 Drew I'm sure you love that.

1:13:21 Adam Yeah. It sounds-

1:13:22 Caller A few days later, I got-

1:13:25 Rob Schneider Now I have two warts on the inside of my bottom lip. And I don't know if-

1:13:30 Drew What do you mean warts? How would you even notice that warts don't come up that fast?

1:13:35 Caller Are you sure that it's not from something-

1:13:37 Adam It can just be like a little sore.

1:13:39 Drew No, or an inclusion cyst. The inside of the bottom lip is a typical place. Have you looked at it? Have you flipped your lip out and looked at it?

1:13:45 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:13:46 Drew Is it sort of clear looking a little bit?

1:13:48 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:13:49 Drew That's an inclusion cyst. It has nothing to do with warts.

1:13:52 Rob Schneider Awesome. So it has nothing to do with it.

1:13:54 Adam Now let me ask-

1:13:54 Drew If it's an inclusion cyst, I'm not looking at it, but it sounds like that's what it is.

1:13:57 Adam Now, did you sleep with the guy too?

1:13:59 Rob Schneider Yes.

1:14:00 Adam All right.

1:14:01 Well.

1:14:03 Rob Schneider Yeah.

1:14:04 Caller Rob, can I get it?

1:14:04 Adam Before- You can do it. You can suck his toes all night long. Now, let me just-

1:14:11 Caller How weird is she?

1:14:12 Adam Bring that up. Yeah. We were trying to-

1:14:14 Drew The engineer, Michelle, was just begging Rob to do the same thing, and have Rob guaranteed it for this call.

1:14:19 Adam You can suck his toes all night long. Now, let me ask you, you know what your friends or your family should get you for Christmas? A lamp, a straw with a big bulb on it, so you can check out the feet first. Do you wash his feet beforehand? Do you just, do you want, I had the flashlight, one of those pocket flashlights.

1:14:34 Drew I know she's one of those giant, those big, like, you know, like Inspector Clouseau magnifying glasses.

1:14:38 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would do it. But also, you know, gross.

1:14:44 It's gross.

1:14:45 Adam And I like feet too, but I'm not sucking on your toes. I do give a good foot massage, though. Oh. That's about as kinky as I get for that.

1:14:51 Drew Oh, I have to ask for something. Amber, 22.

1:14:55 Caller Hello.

1:14:56 Drew Hi, Amber, what's up?

1:14:56 Caller How are you?

1:14:57 Drew We're doing pretty good. I'm having fun with Rob Schneider. He's a great guest, great co-host.

1:15:00 Adam Oh, great to be here.

1:15:02 Drew He's actually filled Corolla's shoes so fully they can't be tied anymore.

1:15:08 Adam I'm gonna get Who Needs Corolla T-shirts. I'm gonna pass them out.

1:15:12 Caller I don't know if you remember, but you were in my hometown and you filmed the animal.

1:15:17 Adam Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, up in the...

1:15:19 Caller City Hall.

1:15:20 Adam Yeah, in Sonoma.

1:15:21 Caller Yeah.

1:15:22 Drew Do you remember Amber?

1:15:23 Caller I didn't want to say where I was from, but...

1:15:25 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you're not exactly from there. You're in that area, right?

1:15:30 Caller I'm in that area.

1:15:31 Adam Okay, good, good, good. Okay.

1:15:33 Caller Well, anyways, I'm so nervous. I'm calling...

1:15:36 Adam Beautiful town.

1:15:37 Caller Yeah, it is. It's gorgeous. Really nice.

1:15:38 Drew Deep breath. Here we go.

1:15:40 Adam Get it out now. It's all right. All right, Amber.

1:15:42 Caller I recently just started sleeping with a friend of mine, and...

1:15:45 Adam Okay.

1:15:47 Caller I think we're going to get it out.

1:15:49 Drew That's hot.

1:15:51 Caller And basically...

1:15:52 Adam That's so hot.

1:15:54 Caller Afterwards, I became really inflamed.

1:15:57 Drew How long do you have sex for?

1:15:59 Caller Not long. Not like something that would... I mean...

1:16:02 Drew How long?

1:16:03 Caller Maybe like half an hour.

1:16:07 Drew Most women, more than ten minutes, and that's what happens.

1:16:10 Adam You'll have some damage there.

1:16:12 Drew So you've been... This is too long. You were using...

1:16:14 Adam I'm telling you. Are you using any protection?

1:16:16 Drew Using condom?

1:16:17 Caller No, we weren't.

1:16:19 Adam That's always a good idea the first time you have sex with some guy.

1:16:22 Caller Well, no, we were in the beginning and we haven't been. What are you doing for birth control? It's happened about five times. I am on birth control.

1:16:27 Drew What are you using?

1:16:29 Caller I'm using OrthoEvra.

1:16:31 Drew The patch?

1:16:32 Caller Yeah.

1:16:33 Drew So the other thing is that sometimes the birth control pill, for various reasons, can affect the estrogen at the surface of the vagina and cause some... what's called atrophic vaginitis. It's usually the shot that does that.

1:16:44 Adam I was going to say that.

1:16:45 Drew That's another reason you can be prone to irritation. Another reason can be just having sex can set up a vaginitis. Sex can be an infection.

1:16:51 Adam That can set up the irritation. Also, if you're with some guy you haven't been with before, it doesn't sound like you're extremely sexually active, then it's also something new in there. The bacteria has to kind of...

1:17:03 Drew Accommodate.

1:17:04 Adam Yeah, and then get used to it and whatever. That's true. However, why don't you make a guy wear a condom? These are Avantis. I don't know what the deal is out there. I don't know why women haven't been more accommodating. I was like, please, I got to stop using these condoms. Please, I'm going to go on the pill. I insist, no matter what, Rob, I'm going on the pill. That's it. I have to have you in me. No, but make the guy wear a condom. You know, what is the Avanti condoms? They're like thinner than a human hair, for crying out loud. Make him wear three at the beginning and then get him down to one and he'll feel like a lunatic.

1:17:34 Caller Yeah, I don't know. Basically, I was just curious because I was with someone for a long period of time before and it had happened with him like every once in a while, like every six months or so.

1:17:46 Adam Are you having any pain? Because maybe is there any STD?

1:17:49 Caller Like I'm saying like extremely inflamed.

1:17:54 Drew Are you lubricating normally?

1:17:55 Caller No. I mean, I usually, I don't need it.

1:17:59 Drew You're lubricating normally.

1:18:00 Adam You know what I think, just for the heck of it, just for the heck of it, go see your GYN.

1:18:05 Drew Yeah. But listen, this is very common.

1:18:07 Adam It's, it's, it's not a big deal. Honestly, you're okay.

1:18:10 Drew This is extremely, I can't tell you how many times people call with that crap and go, well, I must be allergic to my, my vericeimum. No, are you kidding? That's actually never happens. It almost never happens. Right. That happens. That's an issue in fertility.

1:18:21 Adam You know what happens a lot more? Bottoming out.

1:18:24 Oh, he used to just bottom.

1:18:26 Adam I mean, my goodness, I couldn't take it all.

1:18:28 Caller Tear me in half.

1:18:31 Adam That happens a lot more to me.

1:18:33 Drew Hi, who's this?

1:18:35 Caller This is Brandon.

1:18:36 Drew Hey, Brandon, what's going on?

1:18:37 Caller Not so much.

1:18:39 Adam All right. Well, thanks for calling. I appreciate that.

1:18:41 Drew Go right ahead.

1:18:43 Caller Hello?

1:18:44 Drew Go. Turn your radio off. Let's go.

1:18:46 Caller I'm sorry about that. I just want to say Rob Schneider, big fan.

1:18:49 Adam Thank you.

1:18:52 Caller About your new movie coming out, I'm not really big on sequels.

1:18:56 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? I wasn't either, so I wanted to make sure this one was really funny. We worked hard on it, honestly, because most comedies, sequels suck. Why? Because they're just trying to make money for the most part. It's not like I'm not trying to make money on this one. It's just that most of the sequels are just feeding off the goodwill of the first one. You know, and I have to say, like the American Pie, the sequels to me weren't as funny as the original, you know, but I liked being in the theater and seeing it because the audience was so happy that the guy was back in his room with the computer and the same family. So, you know, the audience is kind of like it as a comfort level, but I want to over deliver. And with this one, I really want to make it hilarious. It's a hard R. We really go for it. Oh, really? Hard R.

1:19:35 Drew Oh, my.

1:19:36 Adam So we went for it. So, you know, I think it's okay.

1:19:39 Drew What did I see in another film you're working on that says you're...

1:19:41 Adam Hard R.

1:19:42 Drew Hard R. Rob Schneider's Hard R. What is that?

1:19:44 Adam It's a... It's a groove tube. Remember groove tube? How fun that was when we were kids?

1:19:47 Drew Rob Schneider's Hard R.

1:19:48 Adam Groove tube? You ever see groove tube?

1:19:50 Drew I don't think so.

1:19:50 Adam Oh, you got to rent that. It was like early 70s.

1:19:52 Drew I remember the Kentucky Fried Chicken.

1:19:54 Adam Yeah, it was before Kentucky Fried Movie.

1:19:55 Drew Same people?

1:19:56 Adam They were basically ripping off Kentucky Fried Movie in a good way, but it was not the same people. God, I can't think of the guy's name who produced that now, but it was basically comedy sketches. Chevy Chase was in it. It was before Saturday Night Live, like 1973, I want to say.

1:20:09 Drew And it was skits?

1:20:10 Adam Make you pee your pants laugh. Yeah, yeah, it was very funny.

1:20:13 Drew Improvisational skits?

1:20:14 Adam No, it was like there was an STD commercial. It was really primitive, kind of Monty Python-esque kind of stuff, where it's like an STD, a promotional kind of thing, and you don't know what it is, and it's a guy, it's somebody like a little doll talking, and it's a guy upside down, and it's his penis.

1:20:29 Drew But that was in Kentucky Fried Movie.

1:20:31 Adam No, that was in Groove Tube. Groove Tube. Really? You're confused. You have seen Groove Tube.

1:20:36 Drew I must have seen it.

1:20:36 Adam You must have seen it.

1:20:37 Drew Because it's talking to you, it's got the eyes on it.

1:20:39 Adam Yeah, yeah, that's Groove Tube. Kentucky Fried Movie is good too, but Groove Tube is better.

1:20:42 Caller All right.

1:20:43 Drew This is Lynn, who's 24.

1:20:44 Adam Lynn, 24.

1:20:46 Rob Schneider Hi.

1:20:47 Caller I have a question about hypnosis. I know that it doesn't work with everyone, but my question is, if you're doing hypnosis for a personality change, how great of a change can you expect?

1:21:02 Drew I know of no evidence that you can create sustained character logic changes with hypnosis ever.

1:21:08 Adam First of all, it's like saying, I want to go to a good psychic. It's just like there's a gray area there. I've actually tried hypnosis and I got to say with nominal success, but I couldn't get deeply hypnotized. I got relaxed, but I wasn't able to go some place. It seemed like a... There are people who are susceptible to it, but it sounds like you have psychotic problems.

1:21:34 Drew What is it you're looking for?

1:21:35 Adam How do you want to change your personality?

1:21:38 Caller Well, I don't want to change. I want to enhance the submissive side of my personality.

1:21:42 Drew Well, you can be put to sleep and not wake up. That's submissive, but that's about... In a hypnotic state, you can be made submissive, but when you are in your normal state, you're reconstituted.

1:21:53 Adam Well, here's the thing with this one. She's looking for an easy, simple answer.

1:21:56 Drew I know.

1:21:57 Adam Everybody wants to say, you know, put me under hypnosis so that I no longer take a stick and stay with my abusive boyfriend. You know what? Or it's like, you know, yeah, yeah, if I can get hypnotized, then I'm not gonna be 300 pounds. I won't eat three cakes. Right, right. And the fact of the matter is you gotta deal with whatever issue you're gonna deal with. There's no shortcuts you're gonna deal with. If you're 350 pounds, stop eating pound cake. You know what, if you have an abusive boyfriend, and no hypnosis is gonna get you to take your crap, put it in your pickup truck, and light his bed on fire and get out of the house. Deal with your problems.

1:22:31 Drew Here's Melissa's 23.

1:22:33 Adam What do you got? That's my new thing. If I'm on the radio, if I do this show perma, I'm gonna go, what do you got? What do you got, T-shirts?

1:22:39 Drew I like that.

1:22:39 Adam What do you got? I like it.

1:22:41 Drew What do you mean if you do this show perma? I'm counting on it. Melissa.

1:22:45 Caller Yes.

1:22:46 Rob Schneider I'm 23 and my doctor is telling me I am starting to go through early menopause.

1:22:52 Adam That's crazy.

1:22:53 Caller I was on the depot shop for eight years.

1:22:57 Rob Schneider Could a depot shop not have a period for eight years to process?

1:23:02 Drew I know of no evidence that that has ever been shown to be the case. However, why are you going through ovarian failure? Do you have an eating disorder?

1:23:10 Caller No.

1:23:12 Drew Melissa?

1:23:13 Rob Schneider No, not at all.

1:23:14 Drew No eating disorder?

1:23:15 Caller No.

1:23:15 Drew Do you have thyroid problems?

1:23:18 Rob Schneider No.

1:23:19 Drew Do you have any other medical problems?

1:23:20 Caller No.

1:23:21 Drew Why do they think you're going through menopause?

1:23:23 Rob Schneider They did blood work and said that the estrogen levels are too low and they're going to start putting me on hormones.

1:23:30 Adam Well, that doesn't mean you're going through menopause.

1:23:32 Drew That doesn't mean that at all.

1:23:33 Adam That's crazy. Is that a clinic that said that or is it an actual doctor?

1:23:37 Rob Schneider It's a combination of the hormone levels being off and the hot flashes. He says I'm going through early menopause.

1:23:46 Drew When was the last time you took depo?

1:23:50 Rob Schneider I've been off it for about four months now.

1:23:53 Drew No, I mean...

1:23:54 Adam No, you know what? That's BS. I would go to another... I would go to a good doctor.

1:23:57 Drew You got to go to a gynecological endocrinologist.

1:23:59 Adam It sounds like you went to a lousy clinic.

1:24:01 Drew They should be able to explain to you why you're in menopause.

1:24:04 Adam This is what I'm talking about. I don't understand why... We're such a medicated society. Especially, there's no reason... She's 23 for 8 years, so since she's 15, she's been on this huge dose of hormones that she's been injecting into her system. I know, where are her parents throwing this? What are they thinking? I'm just going to put my child and just see what happens and inundate them with this huge medical dose of hormones that can throw everything off in their body. So I'm saying this, stay off of all that stuff, get off of the estrogen stuff, get as healthy as you can, and maybe your body will eventually start coming around, because your body wants to get healthy if you just get out of its own way.

1:24:47 Drew You should get this nailed down a little bit, Melissa, because it doesn't make sense. If you are having premature ovarian failure, it needs to be explained, whether it's autoimmune or it's part of a polyendocrine problem. It needs a great deal of explanation.

1:24:58 Adam And then once you get that figured out, please get your cut.

1:25:01 Drew And then if it's not that, then Rob is absolutely right. You need just some time and some...

1:25:06 Adam Let your body come back to healing from itself. I mean, you've been off for four months. That's not that long. It may take a year before your hormone levels come back down to a normal place. However, and then when you get to a normal place, will you please start having your boyfriends wear a condom and get off the pill for a while?

1:25:22 Drew Gabe is 19. More threesomes, Rob, here we go.

1:25:24 Adam Threesomes, yes. Yeah baby, what's he talking about? What's going on now? Let's talk, let's talk.

1:25:31 Yeah, just recently I had a threesome like a couple nights ago with two girls.

1:25:36 Drew Wow, you're in college?

1:25:38 No, not in college, just...

1:25:42 Adam Just lucky? What happened? You won the lottery? What happened?

1:25:44 No, actually one girl mentioned it and like I just put it to like effect and I was just like, all right, I'll call her and ask her the other girl and I was just like, all right, cool, then she was in that stuff.

1:25:58 Adam Sure, hey, hi, what are you doing? Yeah, who's, yeah, you're watching TV? Right, Desperate Housewives? Right, okay, cool, well, okay.

1:26:06 Drew I like Gabe's enthusiasm too, it's like, if she's into that stuff, I'll check it out.

1:26:10 Adam I'll just give her a call, you know what I'm saying? Why don't you come over and do a threesome? How does that come up?

1:26:14 Drew Yeah, but your friends would have chewed through the wall to get, as you participate in this, they would have said, she did it. I think I can start checking out.

1:26:21 Adam Believe me, I would be spray painting the news on every wall I could get a hold of until I ran out of spray paint.

1:26:27 Drew Hold on, we got to take a little break here. We're going to get back to your problem, Gabe. You're a threesome.

1:26:30 Adam Yeah, your problem.

1:26:31 Drew You're a threesome trouble. In the meantime, I want to remind you.

1:26:34 Adam I want such problems.

1:26:35 Drew Friday is when Rob Schneider's movie opens, Deuce Bigelow, European Gigolo, Eddie Griffin, who we had last night was in here talking about, it seems like a great movie. The studio are sure behind it. I ask people also please to tune in to my show tonight, Discovery Health Channel.

1:26:48 Adam Yes, Discovery Health Channel.

1:26:50 Drew Thank you very much and we'll be right back.

1:26:51 Adam We'll be right back with your problem.

1:26:59 Drew Please hold. Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191, Rob Schneider in for Adam Corolla.

1:27:33 Adam I mean, share the love.

1:27:34 Drew I love love. Doing a fine job tonight.

1:27:35 Adam Thank you. You know what, Ace?

1:27:36 Drew And plugging.

1:27:37 Adam And plugging. And plugging my movie.

1:27:39 Drew Go ahead.

1:27:40 Adam Do Spigalow, European Gigolo.

1:27:41 Drew I've been plugging it for you. You go ahead and plug over.

1:27:42 Adam August 12th. It's a fun movie. You guys like to first do Spigalow and you'll dig this one, I think.

1:27:47 Drew I want to see this. It's been promoted widely.

1:27:50 Adam In Vegas. You know.

1:27:51 Drew I want to see your Vegas show. Oh, are we releasing in Vegas?

1:27:55 Adam Vegas this Saturday, the premiere. You want to come?

1:27:59 Drew Dude, I would love to come. We got to talk about that out there.

1:28:01 Adam Okay, we'll do it. We were talking to a guy who supposedly had a threesome and doesn't seem extremely excited about it like I would be.

1:28:08 Drew Gabe?

1:28:09 Yeah.

1:28:10 Drew So, the first thing that strikes us is your lack of enthusiasm for this whole threesome.

1:28:13 Adam Which makes us want to use the word bogus. Oh, no, no, not at all, not at all, not at all.

1:28:20 Or, or, or. Actually, the whole reason I wasn't really enthusiastic about it is because I had trouble getting aroused the second time.

1:28:33 Drew Like I'm saying.

1:28:34 Adam Yeah. Well, you're more attracted to men.

1:28:37 No, no.

1:28:38 Adam No, a little bit.

1:28:39 No, no, none of that.

1:28:40 Adam Think about men sometimes, sometimes. Late at night, right now.

1:28:44 No. No. No?

1:28:47 Drew Rob Schneider is pretty attractive that way. You know, he's pretty.

1:28:50 Adam Think about it.

1:28:50 Drew I'm just saying.

1:28:51 No, no. That's out of, like, the line.

1:28:55 Adam Not a lot of hair on my chest. Slightly attracted to me.

1:28:58 No, that's.

1:28:58 Adam No, so, so, so, you're having a problem getting excited with the girls, you're saying?

1:29:02 Drew Yeah, like, when you finished with the first one and then it came time for the second one?

1:29:06 Yeah, and, like, they were, like, really getting into it and I was just, like, watching them and, like, I couldn't, like.

1:29:12 Adam So you couldn't perform at all?

1:29:14 Yeah, I did. Like, it took, like, a really long time, like, more than usual, like, and, like, that's what I was going to ask you about, like, why, like, would it take that long just to, like.

1:29:26 Drew Well, it might have been sort of overwhelming and anxiety provoking. It's kind of weird, right?

1:29:29 Adam Yeah, it's tough. I mean, you know, have you been with a lot of women?

1:29:32 No, no.

1:29:33 Adam Couple of guys, come on, couple of guys?

1:29:34 No, never, never. No? No?

1:29:36 Adam No, so have you been with a couple of women? You're not that experienced, you can be honest. No, we're not, we don't see, we don't know where you live. We're not going to tell people.

1:29:42 No, it's.

1:29:43 Drew Thousand Oaks.

1:29:45 Adam Thousand Oaks.

1:29:46 No, no.

1:29:47 Adam 13-8-7-7. Ventura Blonde. What? Okay, so you haven't been that experienced, right?

1:29:53 Yeah, not, not.

1:29:54 Adam Okay, well, then that kind of makes sense, then. You got two girls there.

1:29:56 Drew Too much too soon.

1:29:57 Adam Doesn't sound, this sounds like a bogus call, but it sounds like, you know, you got two girls there and maybe, you know, you got, you know, they're getting into each other and then, you know, it's tough to compete there, you know? I always think if isn't a threesome going on, I'm always worried I'm gonna go, hey, I'm gonna be, hey, what about me? I'm over here. Hello? Come on, hey, hey, you guys.

1:30:16 Drew You might lose your penis.

1:30:17 Adam That's true. And I have to go hunting for it.

1:30:19 Drew A topic we discussed earlier this evening.

1:30:21 Adam Losing your penis.

1:30:21 Drew Rob's penis fell off in a dream.

1:30:23 Adam In a dream, in a dream. It was a horrible dream.

1:30:25 Drew It didn't feel lost.

1:30:26 Adam Running around the house.

1:30:27 Drew Those are the kinds of feelings men can get in these overwhelming circumstances. They feel sort of exposed and like something's gonna get taken away from them. It's hard to perform in those situations. It really is. Also, 19 with two girls are into it and they're really getting going. It freaks guys out a little bit.

1:30:42 Adam I wouldn't freak me out. I would have been like, believe me, I would have been, you know, those women would have, you know, they got what they got coming to them. You heard me.

1:30:50 Drew Bottoming out.

1:30:51 Adam Yeah, yeah, they would have been saying, you hit rock bottom. Good Lord, I couldn't take it all.

1:30:56 Caller You were tearing me in half, everywhere.

1:31:01 Drew Jessica's 27.

1:31:03 Adam Jessica is?

1:31:04 Yes.

1:31:04 Adam Hey, what's up? Hi.

1:31:05 Hi, Rob.

1:31:06 Adam Hi.

1:31:07 Drew Are you in Phoenix?

1:31:08 No, I'm in Tucson, actually.

1:31:10 Drew Tucson.

1:31:11 Adam Tucson.

1:31:11 Drew I was out in Phoenix two weeks ago, it was 115.

1:31:13 Adam Yeah, that's nice, pleasant. Makes you want to go jogging.

1:31:16 Drew Then at night, they have these thunderstorms come through every night. Wow. It's so windy that Wayne Rain goes sideways. Good Lord.

1:31:24 Adam Let me move there. So what are you doing out there, indoors?

1:31:28 I actually just had surgery last week.

1:31:31 Adam Okay. What kind of surgery?

1:31:33 I had a hysterectomy.

1:31:35 Drew How come? You're 27. Why?

1:31:37 Caller I had a massive fibrous tumor.

1:31:40 Drew Yeah.

1:31:40 Caller About the size of a small grapefruit, it was about eight and a half by 10.

1:31:43 Drew Why didn't they just take that out?

1:31:47 Adam What happened to Second Opinion?

1:31:50 Caller Well, they did CT, ultrasound, and MRI and they were able to really see in there. There was so much tumor and so much in there. Once my doctor got inside, she said she found the tumor had grown through the tissue of the uterus and she wasn't able to save it.

1:32:09 Drew Okay.

1:32:11 Adam It sounds like.

1:32:12 Drew The ovaries remain though, right?

1:32:13 Caller Yeah. I have my ovaries and I have my cervix.

1:32:15 Drew Have you ever had kids?

1:32:16 Caller I'm sorry?

1:32:17 Drew Have you ever had any children?

1:32:18 Caller No, I haven't.

1:32:20 Drew So you're going to have to use surrogate if you want to do that, right?

1:32:23 Caller Right, or a doctor or something, yeah.

1:32:25 Drew Okay. Are you okay with that?

1:32:27 Caller Well, you know, I kind of have to be, so yeah.

1:32:30 Adam Well, you know what? You've made it through the surgery. How long was the surgery?

1:32:34 Caller The surgery was only like 40 minutes, but it was on the 26th. So, you know, it's been about a week, you know.

1:32:40 Adam Well, you sound remarkably okay for being a week.

1:32:44 Drew Great attitude about it. What's your question?

1:32:46 Caller Well, I was just sort of curious about a couple things, and I am going to see my doctor on the 5th, so I will ask her, but, you know, I was listening to the show and thought, hey, maybe I'll ask Drew.

1:32:53 Drew Okay, go ahead.

1:32:55 Caller I was curious, you know, what's going to happen to the eggs when I ovulate, because there really isn't...

1:33:00 Drew They just get absorbed.

1:33:01 Caller Yeah, that's kind of what I figured.

1:33:03 Drew Yeah.

1:33:03 Adam The body takes care of them.

1:33:05 Drew Yeah, it takes care of them.

1:33:06 Caller Okay.

1:33:06 Adam Just like...

1:33:07 Drew Keep going. What else you got?

1:33:08 Caller I don't still have my cervix, so...

1:33:10 Drew You must have a million questions.

1:33:11 Caller What's that?

1:33:12 Drew You know, some of the effects of the uterus being removed are not fully... I want to use the word like appreciated or understood because a lot of women say that after they've had the uterus removed, they feel different. Something's different. In the past, that's always been sort of tossed off as psychological, but there may be some things the uterus is sort of producing that we don't know about yet.

1:33:32 Adam I mean, it's just like, you know, when they have... First of all, most hysterectomies is like the top two, three operations that have been unnecessary in the United States for the past 40 years. I mean, that's one of the top of the list. I'm not saying so in your case, but as far as, you know, they just think...

1:33:48 Drew Historically.

1:33:48 Adam Your doctors just go in and out. You know what? I don't know if you really need those things. Think about it. You know, we'll take that out. What does that look like? We'll take that too, you know? In your tonsils and...

1:33:57 Drew Yeah, that's right. And a little enthusiasm with that, I must admit. It shouldn't affect sex. It shouldn't affect anything really, because you do have your ovaries, so all your sort of female hormonal function should be...

1:34:08 Adam So the hormones will be okay.

1:34:09 Drew All that should be fine. However, there may be certain factors that are sort of released by the uterus that we have not fully identified that may have subtle effects on you. And we gotta take a break right now, because it is a drop dead break we gotta take. And so we're gonna take a break after this. Thanks for that question, Jessica, and we'll be back with Rob Schneider. Wow, did that go fast. Did you like that Anderson? Did you like Rob tonight?

1:35:12 Adam You can say that on the air.

1:35:14 Drew Rob did have a good time, I hope.

1:35:15 Adam I had fun tonight.

1:35:16 Drew We'd love to have you back. I'd love to be back. Best for this film. I think it's gonna be great.

1:35:21 Adam Well, thanks. I had a good time with that. I hope people go out and enjoy that rated R, and I hope people enjoy. Hard R. You know, it was interesting tonight. That last woman kinda bent my heart a little bit, you know? Because she's such a young girl to have that serious problem like that, you know? It just makes you realize, if I was a guy, if I'm sorry, if I was a woman, I would go to the gynecologist. If I had a vagina, I'd go to the gynecologist every day. Is everything alright down there? Can you check that, please? Every six hours, I would go like, okay, can you check it? I know it's been an hour. I was here an hour ago. Can you just do it one more time? Have a look. Is everything alright? Check it again. Alright, alright. I'll be back in about 45 minutes. I just, I don't know.

1:35:53 Drew Let's just get into that kind of thing. But anyway.

1:35:55 Adam I would be paranoid. Is everything alright? I don't know.

1:35:57 Drew Might lose it.

1:35:58 Adam If I can't see it.

1:35:59 Drew Might lose it like your penis.

1:36:00 Adam Yeah, yeah, I might lose it behind the couch. Is everything alright down there?

1:36:04 Drew Well Rob, thanks for coming in. We gotta take an extended break. Again, I have Discovery Health Channel. Those of you listening out in the West Coast, please tune into that. And those of you that are listening this tomorrow night on Thursday.

1:36:14 Adam Who's here tomorrow?

1:36:15 Drew Tomorrow we've got Pennywise.

1:36:17 Adam Pennywise.

1:36:18 Drew The Fletch has had a nefarious relationship with us where the first time he came in, he vomited on everybody. The second time he came in, he became psychotic and threatened to kill everybody.

1:36:28 Adam You gotta bring him back.

1:36:28 Drew And insisted that he was gonna take us all to Poo Poo City. So hopefully we'll be in Poo Poo City tomorrow night.

1:36:34 Adam I'm gonna skip that one, but I'm gonna say hi to Helena out there.

1:36:36 Drew In the meantime, this is Dr. Drew on behalf of Adam Corolla who will be back tomorrow night.

1:36:39 Adam He will?

1:36:40 Drew Mahalo.

1:36:41 Adam You can suck his toes all night long. This has been Loveline.

1:36:49 Caller The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station.

1:36:57 Caller The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, August 3, 2005