Episode 1000724338070

0:56 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:03 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. And Dr. Drew.

1:19 Voiceover Hey, everybody. It is Loveline. The phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Dr. Drew. And as the tape suggests, Adam is out tonight. He's filming his lovely Comedy Central TV show. And lest I forget, he's asked me to remind you guys that he needs audiences at 1-866-HEY-ADAM or www.1IOTA, the number 1, ioata.com, where you can sign up to be an audience in his lovely comedy show. And he'll be gone all week. And visit him.

1:48 Yeah, come see me.

1:49 Drew That's right. Adam's here right now.

1:51 Come see me, be in the audience and laugh.

1:53 Drew In his seat is the great Ralph Garman, morning show host, rock-on-tour actor, got an upcoming film out October 7th, Two for the Money starring Al Pacino and Matthew McConaughey. Yeah, amazing. That's been weird working with them. By the way, this is the part of the show where Adam and I just sit here and chat. Oh, it is. This is where Adam just goes.

2:13 Adam Yeah. Here's my take, Drew. Here's my take on that. All right?

2:16 Drew Library.

2:18 Adam I was sitting in the light, all right?

2:19 And I snapped my finger and the light changed. I think I'm magic. I think I'm magic.

2:25 Adam Everyone listen to me.

2:26 I have magic powers, Drew.

2:28 Adam That's what I think.

2:29 Yeah, I know.

2:29 Adam I listen to the show.

2:30 Drew Yeah. And this is where you just say something like, where's the place to keep the books? Library, Adam. But there's no book in the name.

2:40 Why isn't it the Bookery?

2:42 Adam They should call it the Bookery or the Bookateria.

2:46 Yeah. That's it. The Bookateria.

2:48 Adam Let's change the name to the Bookateria.

2:50 Drew Yeah. That's Adam's way of doing it. That must have been wild, working with Pacino and, well, Matt McCownie is a nice guy.

2:55 Adam This is my first motion picture ever. I've done a bunch of television. And doing the movie, have that be your first movie, and then on the first day of shooting, they say, oh, Ralph, this is Al. You guys will be working together, and let's just do it. Let's just try one. And I was just hoping against hope they wouldn't do my big scene with Al the first day. And naturally, of course, that's what it was.

3:14 Drew What happens in that scene?

3:15 Adam Well, in the movie, Pacino plays a guy who runs a handicapping service for guys who like to bet on football, professional football. And McConaughey is sort of a savant when it comes to picking winners. Former college player never got a chance to go pro because he got injured. So Pacino picks him up. Somebody framed him. No, he had an injury. He blew out his knee and never got a chance to go pro. And he was doing small time sort of booking and that kind of bet making. So Pacino plucks him out of obscurity, moves him to New York to make him his golden boy. And I play the head salesman of Pacino's business. So as Pacino is showing him around his new job, he says, oh, you got to meet my head salesman Reggie. That's the character I play. And we sit down and we have a couple pages of dialogue where we talk about his character. And that was the very first thing I did the very first day on the set. I just down the hallway come Al Pacino, Matthew McConey walking towards me and we start doing the scene. And I was like one of those Tom and Jerry cartoons where I was so nervous. Pacino actually put his hand on my shoulder at one point and I almost jumped out of my chair. I was so just tightly wound like a cheap alarm clock. It was very, very upsetting.

4:17 Drew Did the director say something to you?

4:18 Adam He said, don't worry, we'll get your stuff tomorrow. They had the cameras on. Smartly, wisely, he had the cameras on Al Pacino and Matthew McConey during that first run through because he knew I was going to be useless. So the next day, after I'd settled in a little bit, they shot my stuff and it's just ridiculous. I said it's like being a kid who plays little league baseball and then you go to one of those fantasy baseball camps where you get to play with all the major league stars and stuff.

4:39 Drew That's what it felt like. Except there were fans in the stands.

4:42 Adam Exactly. Except you're in the playoffs or something. And they plug you in and say, here's the ball. Go out in the mound. It was very disturbing. Crazy. It's weird to get used to anything. And about a month in, you're like, hey, Al, what's going on?

4:54 Caller Hey, Ralph, how's it going? Good to see you. Coffee's good today.

4:57 Drew What's for lunch?

4:58 Adam Exactly.

4:59 Drew And what else you got going on? Anything else coming up?

5:01 Adam Some TV work and stuff. But I just did a TV show with Adam West. Oh, that must have been fun.

5:07 Drew Doing what?

5:07 Adam Very exciting. He's doing a show. It's kind of like a day in the life, a reality show.

5:12 Drew Of him?

5:13 Adam Kind of. It's almost like a Curb Your Enthusiasm, sort of a fictionalized day in the life of Adam West.

5:17 Drew Oh my God, that is hysterical.

5:19 Adam And you know what a loon he is in real life. He's kind of wacky and it's going to be on TV land. It's called Living in TV Land. And it's a day in the life of Adam West. And I get to play the crazed stalker fan who is crazy about Batman and Adam West.

5:31 Drew And what does he do? It's hysterical. Who writes this? Is it like comedy writers write this thing and he just acts it out?

5:36 Adam They gave us sort of a loose, sort of a plot line. And then we filled it in with improvisational comedy. Sounds great. I think it's going to be really funny.

5:46 Drew Are you a recurring character on it?

5:47 Adam Well, it's just the one. If you know, if it takes off, maybe it might be a series.

5:50 Drew You just did a pilot.

5:51 Adam We just kind of did the one episode. Well, it's a series where they're doing a series of different TV icons. They've done one with Dick Van Patten from 8 Is Enough.

5:58 Drew Oh, my God.

5:59 Adam One with Barry Williams from the Brady Bunch.

6:01 Drew Oh, my God.

6:02 Adam One with Adam. So I think it's going to be a recurring series. And then they're going to try different different stars each episode.

6:07 Drew It's like the modern version of the name of the game.

6:09 Adam Exactly. That's right. One person out there got that reference, Drew, so that's OK.

6:14 Drew 250 year olds didn't get it. All right. Let's take some calls. Here we go.

6:17 Adam Let's do that.

6:17 Drew This is speaking of 15. Here is Chrissy, 14. Chrissy.

6:23 Ralph Garman Hi. First time caller, long-term listener.

6:27 Drew Fantastic.

6:28 Ralph Garman Yeah. How do I explain? OK. I think I'm in denial about me being hypersexual. I'm in treatment and I've been moved to a single room because I am, I'm bi and just really hard to explain. So I'm bi and-

6:48 Drew You were hanging out, Chrissy. Slow down. You're on with the great Ralph Garman, by the way.

6:52 Ralph Garman Yeah.

6:52 Adam I know all about this, Chrissy.

6:54 Drew You act out sexually with boys and girls. Yes. So wherever you are, things become sexual very easily.

6:59 Caller Yes.

7:02 Adam You're a party on legs.

7:03 Drew Well, at 14, though, that's psychopathology. That's something wrong. It's bipolar, it's something.

7:09 Ralph Garman I am bipolar also.

7:11 Drew So there we go.

7:12 Adam You said you're in treatment, Chrissy, for what?

7:15 Ralph Garman Older guy relationships, lying, stealing.

7:19 Caller Drugs.

7:21 Ralph Garman A lot of phone bells. Just a whole bunch of crap.

7:25 Drew Did you have some trauma growing up or something?

7:27 Ralph Garman Yeah, I was raped twice when I was 10 by the same guy.

7:31 Drew Beautiful.

7:33 Ralph Garman And my dad abused me since I was very little.

7:36 Drew Physically? Yeah.

7:37 Ralph Garman And...

7:39 Drew Well, there you go. Nothing wrong with hitting your kid. Nothing.

7:41 Adam No. They're not great.

7:43 Drew How dare you?

7:44 Well...

7:44 Adam Spare the rod, spoil the child.

7:46 Caller That's what I would say.

7:48 Drew That does refer to wifes, doesn't it?

7:50 Adam That too.

7:50 Yeah.

7:51 Drew Yeah. Chrissy. So, good. You're in treatment. You are in denial. This is not normal behavior. I know it feels right to you, but it's very destructive and it's a response to all the internal turmoil you're feeling. It's just a way of trying to regulate that. Well, what's your question?

8:09 Ralph Garman So, like, how do you know exactly... Like, what are some of the symptoms? I mean...

8:14 Adam Well, you're doing the symptoms. It sounds like you know what's going on. When you know, it doesn't seem right to you. You're in treatment for it.

8:20 Drew If somebody has to put you in an isolation, in a room by yourself, because if you're in a room with another person, you immediately become sexual with them, that's not normal. That's what we call a boundary problem. That you sort of slip into that with the other person. You sort of want to fuse with them. And the fact is, what's normal is to be able to be in a room with a person, be two independent people, take proper cues from them, and sometimes they become romantic, occasionally with somebody, you commit yourself to, hopefully, and that's it. It's not something you do with every person you come in contact with.

8:56 Adam Unless you're Pauly Shore, then you gotta do it with everybody.

9:00 Drew He takes it out on a bus, on the road.

9:02 Adam I like that phrase, fuse with people. That's better than banging around.

9:07 Drew They fuse. Well, that's emotionally what's going on. They want to just, oh.

9:10 Adam I'd like to fuse with you.

9:12 Drew The good news is, they're on you. It's in treatment. Stay with it. Things can get better. This is Tasha.

9:18 Caller Hi.

9:19 Drew I'm going to put you on hold for one second, Tasha. Hold on. We got Adam here. He's 15. A lot of youngsters. Adam, what's up?

9:25 Caller Hello?

9:25 Drew Hey Adam, what's going on? You're on Loveline.

9:27 Caller Hey. Well, okay. I try to have. Hello?

9:32 Drew Yeah, we're here.

9:33 That's a damn lie and you know it.

9:35 Caller Oh my God.

9:35 Drew The fact that you try to have anything, I think Anderson thinks it's a lie. So go ahead.

9:39 Caller All right.

9:40 Caller Okay.

9:40 Caller Well, me and my girlfriend try to have anal sex and I'm 15, she's 15 and she won't let me in. I'm in, but she rejects it. I'm not sure if that's all over.

9:54 Drew The nerve of young people today.

9:56 Caller Selfish, selfish broad.

9:57 Drew My goodness. I'm just thinking what Arnold might say about stuff like this.

10:02 Ralph Garman Yeah. I can't believe at 15 she won't let you in and all these things. She should be much more open to the experience. You know, and the accepting of all the anal action you've got to have.

10:13 Drew They've been together a long time. I mean, it's 15.

10:16 Ralph Garman 15?

10:17 Adam I was hoping to get some tongue in a kiss.

10:18 Drew That's all I was going for. But Arnold at 15 must have been well along.

10:22 Ralph Garman It was unbelievable. I would bench press a woman over my head and then I would, you know, anally stick my head in her buttocks. She would have to accept my entire head and all these things. It was incredible.

10:32 Drew Did anyone ever refuse that?

10:34 Ralph Garman She never refused because if she did, I'd crush her. I would take her and compact her into-

10:39 Drew And your manliness must have overcome her. So why would she back away from your worthiness as a male?

10:45 Ralph Garman When I worked out the pheromones that come pouring out of my pores because of all the steroids I was taking at the time. But now I've stopped doing that.

10:54 Drew Oh, but you admit to taking steroids.

10:55 Ralph Garman Sure. Everybody was doing it then. Really?

10:58 Drew So the fact that you were 46 times larger than you are now, in fact, was due to steroids?

11:02 Ralph Garman That was the dead giveaway, yes. I was puffed up like a puffer fish.

11:07 Drew But it started your career at launch.

11:09 Ralph Garman That's right.

11:10 Drew Are you glad you did that?

11:11 Ralph Garman No. My testicles are the size of chickpeas. It's incredible. Maria can't find them. She has to take like a miner's helmet and look for it in the middle of the night.

11:19 Drew Why is she looking?

11:20 Ralph Garman I don't know. She wants to have sex with me of some kind.

11:23 Drew Hoping someday she'll find them?

11:25 Ralph Garman Hoping someday that perhaps we are going to have some sort of intercourse.

11:28 Drew But you were able to father a child. Did they have to harvest the sperm?

11:32 Ralph Garman No, the child was actually cloned in a laboratory on Mars.

11:36 Drew Wait a minute, I was going to say, isn't that a movie?

11:40 Ralph Garman It was a documentary. A lot of people don't know. Total Recall, actually, was following me around with the cameras and all these things. It was incredible.

11:50 Drew Oh, I've always wanted to talk to the governor. I appreciate you, sir.

11:52 Ralph Garman It's good to be here.

11:54 Drew I know. My goodness.

11:55 Ralph Garman What's wrong with Adam without having the anal sex?

11:58 Drew OK, back to Adam. Yes, yes. So Adam, Adam, here we go. So, yeah, your girlfriend rejected you.

12:03 Caller I wanted to know the precautions of what could affect towards her and me.

12:08 Drew All right. So whether we believe you or not is questionable. At 15, the fact that if you actually come clean with me, are you actually doing this at 15?

12:16 Caller Well, actually, no.

12:18 Drew OK, all right, that's fine.

12:19 Ralph Garman It's not because she wouldn't let him. She was clenching her sphincter like I clench it when I do the barbell curls. When I do the concentration curls, the peaks of my biceps.

12:29 Drew You're still working out.

12:30 Ralph Garman I am. 14 hours a day, I work out. And the rest of the time, I make fun of the teachers and nurses, selfish bastards that they are with their monies.

12:38 Drew Well, you're keeping your promise, your campaign promise, right?

12:40 Ralph Garman That's right. Lower the deficit and lower everyone's life in California, except for my own, with Maria and my dog's Schmegman Schatzi. You all right, Drew?

12:53 Drew You got rid of sputum.

12:55 Ralph Garman Sputum passed away. We had to put sputum down. Sometimes you got to put sputum down. You can't help yourself because sputum doesn't always stay up.

13:05 Drew Adam, the anal sex thing, Arnold's preference is notwithstanding. Bad idea. If you're doing that at 15, you're back in the school with Chrissy, you should be sort of, in my estimation, look into it. That's premature to be engaged in this kind of stuff. You know what? I know a lot of young people do this as a way of maintaining virginity. Believe it or not, Arnold, that's an amazing thing people do.

13:28 Ralph Garman Yeah. That's why you never say, oh, look, I'm a virgin, but I walk funny. That's how you can tell I'm that kind of virgin.

13:35 Drew But it is a great way. It's a way. I had a question today. Somebody asked me, can you hurt women that way? You know, maybe you don't hurt them right.

13:42 Ralph Garman You do it right. You can.

13:43 Drew Well, at the moment, but you already get stuff in that part of your body as you age. I mean, rectal prolapse and fissures and laughing time is over. It's no laughing time when this happens to you. And to be engaged in these kinds of actions at a young age is going to ask for serious pathology later down the line. Also, it's the anal, you can get anal warts. Obviously, about half of people who are sexually active have the warts. You get anal warts. That's a risk for anal cancer. And you get sphincter calluses too.

14:10 Ralph Garman You build up calluses like from heavy lifting with the barbells.

14:13 Drew It's the most effective way to transmit a sexually transmitted disease.

14:16 Caller What I say? What I say? What I said?

14:18 I got feelings for you. Can I prolapse your anus?

14:21 Drew David Aungar, a big fan of yours by the way.

14:23 Ralph Garman I'm a big fan of his too. In living color, I would never miss it.

14:26 Drew Really? You still watch it on DVD?

14:28 Ralph Garman I love the Negro comedy. It's incredible. I'd love that all the time. I would watch that. It's incredible.

14:33 Drew What's your favorite skit?

14:34 Ralph Garman Oh, it was the one where the man who was on fire, who had no skin. There's a white guy though. He looked too Negro because he was burned up.

14:43 Drew I think Jim Carrey is that guy.

14:45 Ralph Garman That's right. Jim Carrey, who was an incredible, funny, talented man with a much better career than mine.

14:52 Drew What?

14:52 Ralph Garman Yeah. His career is lasting much longer. He didn't have to get into politics yet.

14:56 Drew Oh, he will.

14:56 Ralph Garman Perhaps he will.

14:57 Drew He will. You're going to lead him in? You're going to show him the way in?

14:59 Ralph Garman I'll make him assistant governor if there is such a position. Lieutenant governor. That's what I meant.

15:05 Drew Shame. I think it has to be elected.

15:06 Ralph Garman I believe so. It does too. Not when I take over, though.

15:09 Drew I see. Yes. Oh, and just a curiosity, governor. Any plans for... I hear rumor that you might try to make a move towards the presidency.

15:18 Ralph Garman There's that rumor, yes, but I think more importantly, I'd like to be the king of America.

15:23 Drew The king?

15:23 Ralph Garman Yeah, I'm going to change it all. It will be like the king, and you will be my subject. You'll kneel at me, and I will dominate you with my incredibly strong pectoralis muscles.

15:33 Drew Okay, your honor. I mean, your highness.

15:35 Ralph Garman That's right. That's better.

15:36 Drew Okay. This is now Tasha's 22.

15:40 Caller Hi.

15:40 Drew Hi, Tasha. What's going on? You're on with the great Ralph Garman.

15:44 Caller Ever since I was like 11, 12 years old, I've been cutting myself.

15:48 Caller Beautiful.

15:50 Caller Yeah. I've been to therapy for it, stuff like that. I've been on medication. I've been on Zoloft for two years. I was in high school, and I still did it then, and I still do it now. I've really tried not to do it. It always seems just to be my release for stress and stuff like that.

16:11 Drew Well, that means you can't. Again, I talked earlier about being able to regulate. When your brain exceeds its capacity to regulate unmanageable feeling states, it reaches for whatever it has. And people try drugs, they try extreme sports, they try cutting, they try dramatic relationships. All those things are means to try to manage horrible feeling states. And so, Tasha, what you need is therapy. I mean, long-term therapy, right?

16:36 Caller Yeah.

16:36 Drew And you've never done that. No, you've got to be with the same therapist for years. And you need some medication, too, to sort of contain the mood instability associated with this kind of thing. Were you abused as a kid?

16:48 Caller My dad wasn't around, and he was very verbally abusive to me and my mom and my brother, and that kind of thing.

16:58 Drew And are you doing drugs or alcohol yourself?

17:03 Caller I drink almost every night, probably four to five drinks a night. I mean, I'm a bartender, so I mean.

17:08 Drew I will tell you something that does work also with the compulsive cutting and whatnot is the 12-step program. So you might look into that if you want to throw yourself into these things, but you're not doing anything. I mean, you're going to have to really go in and get care and stay with it for an extended period of time. It's about really talking about wanting to rebuild structures in your brain that didn't get built when you needed them when you were a kid. I mean, it takes from 0 to 22 to build these things, and you didn't do it. You've sort of stayed back in a very primitive state where you're using these means to regulate. You got to rebuild something more autonomous and more resilient, more appropriate, and that takes a long time. It doesn't happen overnight. The medication can help you in the meantime, but you got to work on this very hard for a long time.

17:49 Adam I think she needs a hobby too. A new hobby.

17:52 Drew Other than cutting?

17:52 Adam Other than cutting.

17:53 Drew Maybe. What would that be?

17:56 Adam Knitting or boxing.

17:59 Drew Hit other people.

18:00 Adam Hurt other people.

18:01 Drew That's good. Boxing is good. Yeah.

18:02 Adam Release some tension.

18:03 Drew Yeah. I agree with that.

18:04 Adam Stop turning it inward.

18:05 Drew Again, but again, these are good. These are more productive way to deal with those feelings, but you're still looking for things outside of yourself to regulate things you should be able to regulate autonomously.

18:15 Adam One thing at a time, Drew. She has to stop bleeding first before she can fix herself.

18:19 Drew I'm with you.

18:20 Adam For God sakes.

18:20 Drew Jamie 25.

18:22 Ralph Garman Hey, Dr. Drew. How are you guys doing?

18:24 Drew Ralph and Ralph. Hey, Jamie. Whoever you are, Arnold. Whoever you recognize. Arnold, would you?

18:28 Adam Just call me not Adam.

18:31 Ralph Garman Sorry, I had one of those deer in the moment headlights. I wasn't expecting that.

18:35 Adam You're right, brother. We're with you.

18:36 Ralph Garman We're here.

18:37 Drew Deer in the moment headlights. That was good. I like that too. All right, Jamie, what's going on? What's up with your dyslexia?

18:44 Ralph Garman This is mostly a question for the doc. For the last three or four years, I've been having a hard time keeping a girlfriend, mostly because I'm a very violent sleeper when I do sleep.

18:54 Caller What happens?

18:57 Ralph Garman I only sleep about three or four hours a night when I do sleep. It's been proposed to me by someone at work, I work in a hospital, that I might be moderately bipolar.

19:05 Drew That's possible.

19:07 Ralph Garman I just was going to get the basics on what that is.

19:09 Adam He's really bipolar. He's nuts at night and okay during the day. That's the ultimate bipolar.

19:13 Drew Rapid cycling bipolar. Well, it's a syndrome indeed is characterized by irritability, and a lack of need for sleep. Let's say you don't sleep very much, you have lots of energy, and you tend to have racing thoughts, and there's a lot of different criteria that go into whether or not you actually have bipolar. But there are bipolar quality of what you're describing, or there could be a primary sleep disturbance. I think if it really is just at night that you're having trouble functioning during the day, things are completely normal. I could go get a sleep study then.

19:45 Adam What kind of violent sleeper are you? What happens when you sleep?

19:48 Ralph Garman Oh, I can only sleep for about 30 to 40 minutes at a time, and I always wake up with a, I've had a very violent, almost bloody, it's usually sort of a gory, bloody dream. And I'll wake up and I'll shake her, I'll jerk, and I've actually punched the girl next to me before, I've elbowed her, I've kicked her because...

20:06 Adam Oh, that's a bad surprise in the middle of the night.

20:08 Drew Oh, yeah.

20:09 Adam You should get your own bed when you have a girlfriend.

20:11 Drew I have a patient grab the person next to him, bite them.

20:13 Adam Really?

20:13 Drew Yeah. And that does have a bipolar quality to it, that absolutely does happen to people with that condition. And, but again, but their seizure disorders can do this, and other kinds of sleep disturbances. So it's sort of worth, you work in a hospital at the university?

20:28 No, I work at the county hospital.

20:30 Drew All right. So, but you know, see us a psychiatrist and maybe get a sleep study, those will be the two steps you want to make, all right?

20:35 All right.

20:36 Drew All right. Two for the money, October 7th, Ralph Garman, Al Pacino, Matthew McConaughey, who else? Anybody else?

20:41 Adam Oh, Rene Russo, Jeremy Piven.

20:44 Drew Oh my God. He's in everything.

20:45 Adam Armada Sante. Piven's my man, though. We had a lot of fun on the set. He was a really good guy. Coming from Universal Pictures, October 7th. Yeah, so.

20:53 Drew That's, what an incredible, and you got to work with everybody, pretty much?

20:57 Adam Everybody. I met Rene, we hung out, but I didn't get a chance to actually do scenes with her, but Piven and Matthew McConaughey and Al Pacino were the guys I worked with the most.

21:05 Drew Must have been like sort of dream come true quality to it.

21:07 Adam Oh yeah, and it was a very testosterone filled set because it's about sports and gambling and just, it was so great. It was like a David Mamet play for a month up there in Canada. It was a blast.

21:17 Drew Vancouver. All right, this is Susan, 15. Susan?

21:22 Adam Susan.

21:23 Drew Are you sleeping?

21:25 Caller Susan, wake up. Honey, time to go to school. She's gone.

21:31 Drew Gone. All right, let's take a break in that case. Ralph Garman is in for Adam. He again is filming his Comedy Central show. If you want to be a part of the audience for that show, it's 1-866-HEYADAM or www.1, number 1, iota.com. We'll be right back after this.

21:51 Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready.

21:55 Adam Want to dress up your sex life? Visit durex.com. There's sex, and then there's durex.

22:26 Drew Hey, it's Loveline. The phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm here with Ralph Garman sitting in for Adam Corolla. I'm Dr. Drew, Lord Certified Internist, Addiction Medicine, yada, yada, yada.

22:38 Adam And a good looking guy.

22:39 Drew God bless you, Ralph. Can we come back this year?

22:41 Adam I'd love to.

22:41 Drew In any event, you know, I hate doctors.

22:43 Caller Yeah, we know.

22:45 Drew Strangely, I feel a sort of a lightness tonight, sort of like a lifted from my shoulders.

22:51 Adam You're allowed to talk.

22:52 Drew It's incredible. I don't think people know. I don't know if people actually know that I'm here. He's a great. Somebody did a spoof on him. Who is this? Somebody did. One of the guys that's production on Adam. It's very funny. Let's take some calls. Then he goes off on some tangent about right turns or left turns. He goes, all right, we're taking a call. Then he goes off on a tangent about libraries and books.

23:11 Caller Why do they call it softball?

23:14 Adam I got hit with a softball once when I was eight.

23:16 Drew Hurt.

23:16 Adam Hit me in the head.

23:17 Caller It wasn't soft at all.

23:18 Adam Did you call it less hardball?

23:21 Drew Then it's like, well, let's bid it for Loveline.

23:24 Caller Dr. Drew.

23:26 Adam Mahalo.

23:26 Drew That's right. Here we go. Durex.

23:29 Adam One night tonight, one lucky person is going to win a Durex Party Pack tonight on the show. The Party Pack includes CDs, a poker set, cash, and of course some Durex condoms. I will decide who has the best call of the evening, and that person will be the lucky winner of the Durex Party Pack. You have to be 18 years or older to win. It's brought to you by Durex condoms. Remember, Durex, there's sex, and then there's Durex.

23:54 Drew And here's Jeff, who's 19. Jeff?

23:57 Caller Yes.

23:58 Drew What's up?

23:59 Caller Okay, I had a question. Okay, my girlfriend and I, when we're making love, what happens is she gets really violent, she starts hitting me.

24:09 Drew Oh my.

24:10 Adam Yeah, that's making love, Jeff. Right there, that's making love.

24:13 Drew Oh boy.

24:14 Caller With the pain.

24:16 Drew I want you to witness something here. Adam's not here. Adam can enter and bring some coffee in during the show.

24:22 Caller Oh, that's nice.

24:23 Drew He's not allowed to come in? No, no. And I'm not allowed, when Adam's here, I'm not allowed to do this.

24:28 Caller Hey, Drew, Drew, stop with the pain, will you?

24:31 Drew If I do something like that.

24:32 Caller That's a bugger.

24:33 Drew Oh, I'll get the swat.

24:36 Adam Asperger's, that's what it is.

24:39 Drew Something weird. Yeah, Jeff, that's not normal.

24:42 Adam Back to Jeff with the, with the, with the hurting lady.

24:44 Drew With the girlfriend. How old is she?

24:46 Caller She's 18.

24:47 Drew And what is her explanation for this?

24:50 Caller I mean, I don't know. She's, I guess it's normal for her or something.

24:54 Drew I don't know.

24:55 Caller She's just, that's what she always is. She's always done that.

24:58 Drew Tell us exactly what happens. What does she do?

25:00 Caller Okay. We'll be making love. And when she gets close to having an orgasm, she just starts getting violent. She'll start like, you know, grabbing me and scratching me. And it's gotten progressively worse over time. The other day, she actually hit me in the face. And when she's done, you know, she'll just lay there and, you know, she's finished. I don't, I mean, I don't really know.

25:22 Adam Have you asked her not to do that?

25:26 Drew What an interesting and novel approach. I know.

25:28 Caller Well, I know. Well, at first, you know, it kind of turned me on. You know, I'd get into it.

25:32 Drew Well, you thought you were doing this to her. Yeah, well, I do. Yeah, it's your special technique, your special penis. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The reality is this is her effed up nature that something's coming out, some abuse or something.

25:46 Adam Well, some women, when they get really excited, tend to lose a little control.

25:49 Drew Losing control is one thing, but punching in the face.

25:51 Adam That seems a little.

25:52 Drew That's a little directed. Across the board. Yeah.

25:54 Adam Across the line.

25:56 Drew And she refuses to address what's going on. Oh, there she is calling you right now, matter of fact, wondering why you're talking about this on national radio.

26:02 Caller Son of a bitch. I'll punch you in the head.

26:04 Drew Be that as it may.

26:07 Adam So Jeff, have you asked her to stop?

26:09 Caller I mean, I've asked her to try to cool down, because she's a, I mean, sometimes we get really rough and it plays along with it. It's cool, but.

26:18 Adam Well, you can't have it both ways, buddy. Can't get rough sometimes and it turns you on, and then other times you don't want her to. Maybe she doesn't know which is which.

26:24 Caller Yeah, I guess.

26:27 Drew I think you've bitten off a project here.

26:30 Adam Yeah.

26:30 Drew Yeah. Is she okay otherwise? Is she able to, she goes to school and everything's normal?

26:36 Caller Yeah, she's fine.

26:37 Drew She's fine. She's just a hot little monkey. Not a little dramatic, not a little energy going on all the time.

26:42 Caller No, it's just that, I mean.

26:43 Drew Your relationship's not a little chaotic, a little bit of like, oh my god, this is the best relationship ever. Oh my god, so hard for me to go close to somebody and all those sorts of.

26:51 Caller Yeah, it's kind of like that.

26:53 Drew Yeah, those superlatives.

26:54 Caller That's hot.

26:55 Drew Yeah, that's all sort of what we call borderline stuff.

26:59 Adam Look into some restraints too, Jeff.

27:01 Drew It's okay, it can be sort of managed, but I suspect you're in deeper than you think. And when this thing breaks up, it's gonna be bad times.

27:11 Adam Oh, you think you've seen Violent wait till you break up with her.

27:14 Drew Right, and so.

27:15 Caller Oh man, I don't even want to think about that.

27:17 Caller Yeah, no you don't.

27:18 Drew Because you're the perfect best, only person she could ever fill in the blank.

27:21 Adam Oh, Jeff, run like hell. That's all we can say.

27:24 Drew Whenever it says some thing to you of the effect of you're the most, the best, whatever, that I've ever been, that when somebody puts you and idealizes you like that, that's a bad sign. That also means they can just as easily de-idealize you. They see the whole world as black and white, good and bad, best and worst, and they can't see people as sort of whole, as gray. So when you're in on the terms that they need you to be in, you're perfect, you're the best, you're the most amazing ever, but as soon as you disappoint them, there's a long fall into hell. Are you guys going to school?

27:59 Caller I'm not in school. I'm working right now. She's in school still.

28:02 Caller She's finishing starting high school.

28:04 Caller Yes, she was starting her senior year in high school.

28:06 Drew Oh boy. The best thing you can do for her is get her some, just some professional help just to ease the pain.

28:11 Caller Work out some issues.

28:13 Drew Yeah, I'm just saying.

28:14 Caller Lady with the hitting and the hurting, please, ahoy with the stopping. Hold my face.

28:19 Adam That's what you should say to her.

28:22 Drew Henry, 23.

28:22 Caller Hi, Dr. Drew. How are you doing?

28:26 Drew By the way, Henry, hang on a second. Somebody was telling me, who was telling us this, that the reason Jerry Lewis was so popular in France is that the original performer who dubbed his dialogue was the greatest comedy writer the French had ever had.

28:43 Adam And he's making up his own jokes.

28:44 Drew He's actually doing some of his own stuff in there. That's funny. When he died, the subsequent films were not as popular as he was.

28:51 Ralph Garman Jerry is not funny anymore.

28:53 Caller Jerry's gone downhill. I used to laugh so much. Now I don't laugh anymore at him.

28:58 Drew What do you think that is?

29:00 Caller That's funny.

29:01 Drew Who was that?

29:03 Caller I wish the guy hadn't died so much that made me funny because now the people know like me.

29:08 Ralph Garman Hi.

29:09 Caller That's what he says now.

29:10 Drew I think now he sounds. Can you do the current Jerry?

29:14 Caller Actually, I can. Jerry now is old and his head looks like a jack-o'-lantern. He's got giant swollen cortisone head and it looks like Macy's has a Thanksgiving parade in my house every day. People take wires and connect it to my head and then they go lead me into the garden and then.

29:37 Drew Yeah, that's modern Jerry.

29:38 Caller That's modern Jerry.

29:39 Drew All right, Henry, what's going on, buddy?

29:41 Caller First, I want to say it's great to finally get through and talk to you.

29:44 Caller I think you guys are great.

29:45 Caller You and Drew, I don't know about this other guy.

29:47 Caller Yeah.

29:47 Adam How bummed are you the day you get through? You finally get through. Adam's on vacation, man. You must be ticked off.

29:53 Caller Well, what are you going to do?

29:54 Adam Yeah, good point.

29:55 Drew There we go.

29:56 Caller All right. My question is, I've always had some kind of attraction toward guys. I don't think I'm full on gay. But about four years ago, I let one of my friends that was gay go down on me, just had a curiosity, I guess. But I'm thinking about doing it again.

30:20 Drew Just for the record, the term curiosity gets, wow, I had no idea it would feel like that. It gets a lot of play in our culture. It's sort of dismissed as, well, it's curious, it's curious.

30:32 Caller I don't really know what else to call it.

30:33 Drew Well, a curious, I've almost never found a circumstance in which behavior is tossed off as curious where it actually has anything to do with curiosity. For instance, they will say, well, young people, they're curious. That's what I got to try. They're going to experiment. They got to try. That's right. No. The people, the key young people that... Hold on. No, Henry. Let me just go off a second here. The young people that experiment are novelty seekers. That's a certain biology. When people need and seek novelty, that's the skateboarders, that's something that's in their biology. Fresh thrills. That's right. That's not curiosity. That's novelty seeking. In Henry's case, this is a drive, not a curiosity. This is a desire. Wouldn't you say, Henry? You wouldn't do it again.

31:17 Caller It is a desire.

31:19 Drew Yeah. It's not curiosity. It's a desire.

31:21 Caller You weren't curious. You wanted to...

31:23 Caller I'm not physically attracted to guys. I can't even think of sometimes being with a guy, but at times it's like...

31:31 Drew Is that problem about being with a guy aversion to being gay, do you think? That, oh my God, I can't be that?

31:38 Caller I don't know. I really don't know. I want to know what could attribute this to.

31:44 Drew Are you confused about your sexual identity? Did something happen to you in your childhood, like sexual abuse by a male that would make it difficult?

31:51 Caller No.

31:52 Drew No experimentation with another six-year-old, or eight-year-old, or ten-year-old, or something?

31:57 Caller No. No. No.

31:59 Adam Do you like the ladies, Henry?

32:01 Caller Oh yeah, I do. And that's my first instinctively, I like women and I'll go for a girl. And I mean, I just love, I love women's figure. I'm totally attracted to women.

32:17 Drew Well, maybe this is just something you're kind of working through. It's, you know, whatever.

32:21 Adam Is it possible to be bisexual, Drew, where you have, you're mostly into chicks, but then you finally think of a guy on the side, just a little bit exciting, not to do it once in a while.

32:28 Drew People argue about whether or not, Adam calls that half mo. But, and the people argue about whether there is such a thing. Most people would say there is. We rarely talk to somebody that's truly bisexual in the show. Usually we talk to people that are gay and don't want to be gay.

32:45 Adam I see.

32:45 Drew Or who have sexual abuse histories, who are confused about their sexual identity, and who's doing both. But Henry sounds sort of more, you know, genuinely bisexual.

32:53 Adam Because there's that Kinsey scale they talk about, right?

32:55 Drew Yeah, when Dr. Kinsey said it was all BS.

32:56 Adam There's heterosexuality on one side and homosexuality on the other. They say most people fall somewhere in the middle.

33:01 Drew Well, there's no doubt that there's a fluidity, particularly in women, where you don't have to be committed. But the penis is a commitment. Once you're into the, that's sort of, that's a commitment.

33:11 Caller And I signed some documents and now I'm fully committed to the penis now.

33:15 Drew For the most part. There's technicality.

33:16 Adam The Notary Republic took a seal and stamped it on my penis form.

33:20 Drew And Henry seems to be sort of in that sort of technicality zone where maybe he's working something through.

33:24 Adam I think if Henry's safe and he doesn't do anything foolish, he's entitled to, you know, swing on the wild side a little bit.

33:30 Drew It just doesn't, Henry just rarely is, in this show, almost never do we talk to somebody with your behavior pattern that doesn't have an antecedent sexual abuse history. Or physical abuse history, but usually sexual abuse.

33:42 Caller That's why I wanted to get some clarity on it. There was such a thing as bi or like more, a little bit more straight than gay, but you know, you do it.

33:51 Drew Well, there's a whole category out there called the men who have sex with men, not gay. Then that's sort of Henry's thing.

33:59 Adam I'm sorry?

34:00 Drew Yeah.

34:00 Adam Men who have sex with men but aren't gay.

34:02 Drew Yes. This has sort of been developed because of the HIV situation. There are non-gay men who have sex with men. I've always looked a little bit of a jaundiced view at that as maybe just men who are not quite there yet with their homosexuality.

34:18 Adam Here's the thing, I think though, if you're a guy and you love chicks and like Henry says and you want to go off and play with a guy once in a while, if that's truly your nature, why would you be so bugged by it? Why would it make you so wiggy if it happened?

34:29 Drew It is unusual and he probably knows unusual and sort of wondering about it. He doesn't sound really disturbed about it.

34:33 Adam No, he doesn't. That's true.

34:36 Drew And as again, when you get in relationships, you relinquish the right to experiment or to be on both sides of the street because you're a committed relationship. And if you can do that when you decide you like women better, if that's the case and you want to commit yourself, then you're committed now. You can go on and on.

34:50 Adam Don't bring anything home.

34:51 Drew Tony, 29.

34:54 Caller Hello?

34:54 Drew Hey, Tony, what's up?

34:56 Ralph Garman Hey, I've got a question about marijuana.

34:59 Caller Yep.

35:01 Ralph Garman I'm 29.

35:02 Caller I've been using pretty much daily for over 10 years.

35:06 Drew Good times.

35:07 Caller Wow.

35:07 Caller It is, I'm finding that it is not just psychologically addictive, it's-

35:12 Drew Listen, there is no such thing as psychologically addictive. When something is addictive, it means you can't stop in spite of consequences. And when you meet those criteria, we know that there are specific events in the brain that make it that way, that are way outside of consciousness. There are disorders of drive, disorders of your brain's motivational systems that make it such that you can't stop. That's what makes it addiction. And if you're at that point, there's nothing psychological- well, there's psychological context for it, but it's not psychological, biological event. And for certain people, marijuana is profoundly addictive and it always follows a very characteristic pattern, Ralph. For instance, Tony, do you remember the first time you smoked pot?

35:52 Ralph Garman Yep.

35:53 Drew Did you get high the first time?

35:56 Ralph Garman I don't think so.

35:57 Drew How about the... usually it's around the second or third time that people actually get high. Okay. Because there's a priming effect of this drug. So when you did get high, what did you think of the drug?

36:07 Caller I liked it a lot, right away.

36:09 Drew A lot? Or a lot a lot?

36:13 Ralph Garman That's far back. Eventually I liked it a lot.

36:16 Drew Because most people fall in love with it immediately.

36:18 Caller This is the greatest thing ever, man.

36:20 Drew Yeah, greatest thing ever. That's usually the reaction.

36:22 Caller I've always liked it.

36:24 I'm never stopping.

36:26 Caller It's got to be a cold turkey solution.

36:28 Drew So what did you think? Well, here's what happens. They smoke it once, they're like, oh my God, this is the best thing I've ever done. You wake up the next day, same thing, next day, same thing, same thing, same thing. It's immediate, boom. You do it then for about 10 years. Why there's this huge variation, how long you do it, no one knows. But somewhere in there, its effect starts to wear off. You start to get depressed, you start to have difficulty initiating actions. My patients always complain that they can't get their resume completed. They never get their resume completed. Well, no, they're smoking dope all the time. They can't find their keys. These are the one over two complaints.

37:00 Adam Well, you know why? Because they don't want jobs and they want to go anywhere. Because they want to stay home and smoke dope. That's why they don't care about those things.

37:06 Drew But the effect starts wearing off and that's when people either come to treatment or switch to something else. Speed is one of the most common things they switch to because that corrects the depression of marijuana. So anyway, if you want to go out, Tony, what's that?

37:18 Ralph Garman I've heard you in the past.

37:19 Caller I'm in Northern California. I'm in San Francisco. I heard you mention a marijuana-specific program.

37:27 Drew Well, MA Marijuana Anonymous. It's excellent. The great thing about, the interesting about POT is it affects all people that get addicted in the same exact ways. You'll find 20 other Tonys sitting there at that meeting. Everyone has the same story, the same experience with the drug. If you still have trouble staying sober, there's a fine program up there at the Hate Ashbury Free Clinic.

37:47 Adam Okay.

37:48 Drew Thank you very much. All right. Good luck, Tony.

37:51 Adam The Hate Ashbury was responsible for all this crap. They can't all of a sudden be responsible for the cure too.

37:55 Drew But if you're going to go in there-

37:56 Adam I saw the Doors movie.

37:57 Caller I know Oliver Stone.

37:58 Adam They're all smoking dope up there in 1967. They caused the trouble.

38:01 Drew But if you go to the stores, if you want to find where the people are hanging out for the trouble, is you set yourself up right there.

38:07 Adam Imagine the counselors that work there.

38:09 Drew Oh yeah.

38:10 Caller Yeah. I got the Jefferson Airplane stone back in Altamont. Now I'm going to fix you, dude.

38:16 Adam Yeah.

38:17 Caller I don't buy it for a second.

38:19 Drew Two for the Money is the movie. It's coming up October 7th. It's with Al Pacino, Matthew McConaughey and Ralph Garman.

38:24 Caller Oh yes.

38:25 Drew Who's here sitting in for Adam Corolla.

38:27 Adam I'm here for about four minutes. You can see me.

38:28 Drew The phone number, it's longer than that, right?

38:31 Adam They say I'm throughout the film. We shot a lot of footage.

38:32 Drew That's what I'm saying.

38:33 Adam Who knows? I haven't seen the final cut yet. So I'm touting this film in the hopes that they'll hear it and keep me in. That's what we're saying.

38:40 Drew Well, it seems like a key character.

38:41 Adam It does to me too.

38:45 Drew Phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. We got lots of room on the board here to take your call. So tonight's the night. We'll actually take calls tonight. Unlike the most nights, we take like four calls a night. An opportunity to take calls tonight.

38:59 Adam I'm interested in what people have to say.

39:01 Drew We'll be back.

39:02 Adam Shut up, everyone.

39:02 Drew Talk. And here we go. That's right, it's Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, and Anderson just asked me to watch my language as we went into.

39:43 Adam Watch your potty mouth, Drew.

39:45 Drew Shut my pot hole.

39:45 Caller You were filthy during that break, Drew.

39:48 Caller Yeah.

39:49 Drew I said the S-word once, I thought.

39:50 Filthy.

39:52 Adam Yeah, I wanted to also tell Ralph that he was great in Joe Schmo. Thank you, Anderson, I appreciate that.

39:57 Drew That's right, Joe Schmo. I forgot. What did you tell me?

39:58 I forgot.

39:59 Adam Joe Schmo one and two because you can't watch it.

40:01 I mean, I'm not plugging that.

40:03 Drew You'll know you from Joe Schmo.

40:04 Caller You can buy the DVD.

40:05 Adam You can buy season one on DVD is correct, and apparently season two also coming out on DVD soon too. For those of you who don't know, Joe Schmo was a reality comedy show we did on Spike TV a couple of years back and it was one of the first of the hybrid comedy reality shows where we took a guy who thought he was on a real reality show and we surrounded him with improvisational actors who were just playing the other contestants, and the whole thing was a big gag on him and we revealed it.

40:28 Drew You were able to do it twice too.

40:29 Adam We did it twice. Ralph played the host. I did. I was the host of the show and it was a lot of fun.

40:34 Drew That's so funny. Take some calls. This is Caitlin, 16.

40:41 Ralph Garman Hello.

40:41 Drew Hi, Caitlin. What's going on?

40:43 Ralph Garman Okay. My boyfriend, he wanted to have phone sex with me and I didn't feel comfortable doing it because I've only known him for a month. He knew my best friend was there and so he asked to do it with her instead. I don't know what to do.

40:58 Drew Wait. Hold on a second. Tell us about this relationship. Who is this guy?

41:02 Ralph Garman His name is Corey.

41:03 Drew No, not today.

41:04 Adam Where does he live?

41:05 Drew How do you know him? How do you meet him?

41:06 Adam I'm going to go kick his ass.

41:07 Drew What's the nature of your relationship with him?

41:10 Ralph Garman Okay. Well, my ex-boyfriend was friends with him and then he started calling me and stuff and we were talking to each other. Then he asked me out and stuff and yeah.

41:26 Drew That's supposed to mean something to you? Yeah, it's supposed to mean something to us?

41:28 Adam Caitlin, you don't have to go out with every guy who asks you.

41:31 Ralph Garman I know that.

41:33 Adam Did you really like this guy?

41:34 Ralph Garman Yeah.

41:34 Adam Or was he just around?

41:36 Ralph Garman Yeah, I liked him.

41:37 Drew Yeah. So you went out with him and what happened?

41:43 Ralph Garman It was like my friend Ashley was at my house.

41:47 Drew No, Caitlin.

41:48 Adam What happened with the guy when you started dating him? Relax, Drew. I'll get through this one for you. Thank you. When you started dating this new guy, what happened between the two of you in terms of your relationship?

41:58 Drew Did you get physical?

42:00 Ralph Garman No.

42:00 Drew Do you see? Just talking.

42:03 Adam You didn't have sex with him?

42:05 Ralph Garman No.

42:05 Drew Did you make out with him? Yeah. Did you see him regularly? We have many dates with him?

42:13 Ralph Garman Three or four.

42:15 Drew Three or four dates. Did you declare boyfriend-girlfriend? Did he say, I don't want you to see anybody else?

42:21 Ralph Garman Kind of, yeah.

42:22 Adam Declare boyfriend-girlfriend. What does he do? Plant a flag in her?

42:25 Drew Well, actually, they-

42:26 Caller I claim you on the name of Queen Elizabeth.

42:29 Drew They actually had something called the talk.

42:31 Caller Oh.

42:31 Drew Did you have the talk?

42:33 Caller The talk.

42:34 Adam They'd say, you're my girlfriend, I'm your boyfriend, this is it, just the two of us?

42:37 Ralph Garman Oh, yeah.

42:38 Caller Kind of.

42:39 Adam You had that talk kind of.

42:39 Drew No, stop with the kind of. Did you have that or not?

42:42 Ralph Garman Yes.

42:43 Drew You had that conversation? Okay. What made it kind of?

42:47 Adam She's nervous.

42:48 Ralph Garman Kind is my favorite word.

42:49 Drew Kind is your favorite word. Okay.

42:50 Caller Well, fair enough.

42:51 Adam So for this guy to ask your friend Ashley to have phone sex with him instead of you was really out of bounds in your opinion.

42:57 Ralph Garman Yeah. I was just kind of like-

42:58 Drew And ours. Well, mine anyway.

43:00 Adam Yes, absolutely.

43:01 Drew So the guy should not be your boyfriend anymore. Right? He should not be your boyfriend. This guy is an idiot.

43:07 Adam He does not care about your feelings apparently, Caitlin.

43:09 Drew That is a horrible thing for somebody that is supposed to be your boyfriend to do to you.

43:14 Adam Just because he is horny does not mean he can just run roughshod over your feelings and just jump over you to get to Ashley on the phone.

43:19 Drew If you do not understand that, I do not know. I am worried that your parents are not preparing you for the world of relationships. If the guy mistreats you or does not take your feelings into account and behaves in a way that is cruel or brutal, go on. I do not care how cute he is or how much you like him. Done. This guy is going to have phone sex with your best friend. That is okay with you?

43:46 Ralph Garman Well, like he asked me and I was like I didn't feel comfortable doing it because I hadn't known him for that long.

43:50 Drew No. He is going to do it with your best friend. You think that is okay?

43:55 Ralph Garman We were really pissed off or whatever.

43:57 Adam You should be. You should be.

43:59 Drew He is going to try to do it with your best friend. Is that okay with you?

44:03 Ralph Garman No.

44:04 Drew All right. Get rid of the guy. I can't just go around and around like this.

44:06 Caller Come on for God's sake. Get rid of them.

44:11 Drew Jeanette27.

44:13 Hello.

44:14 Drew Hi, Jeanette. What is going on?

44:16 I have actually talked to you twice in the past about different issues. I am bringing up one that I talked to you about before, which is I have breast cancer. It's stage four. Now, by this point in time, my doctor has really pretty much given up on me. We have done everything we can do.

44:34 Drew You sound pretty good for that.

44:36 Well, it actually makes you free once they say, we have done everything we can do. There is nothing we can do because then it gave me the opportunity to change the way my diet is, try to eat healthier and exercise and do all the natural tasks. I say that in quotes because I'm not really this holistic burning candle type of person. But you do get on the Internet and try all those things that are experimental.

45:11 Adam Sure. What do you have to lose?

45:12 Drew What's your question?

45:13 My question is, I have not had sex now in seven months. And I know that shouldn't be a big priority for me, but I feel pretty good. I go out maybe once a week.

45:27 Drew Hey, how much time do you have?

45:32 You know, my doctor has not really put anything way up in the air for me.

45:37 Drew Have you asked that question?

45:38 Yeah, I have. She doesn't expect me to three to five years, maybe. I mean, she hasn't given me like, oh, you have six months to live or something like that.

45:48 Drew All right. But I would think you'd want to have a relationship and want to enjoy yourself.

45:54 Adam I think she does. That's what she said.

45:55 Drew But I mean, she's saying it shouldn't be a priority. I'm saying it should be a priority. That's how people find satisfaction. Listen, when people, I deal fair bit with death and dying and stuff, and when people come to the end of their life and they're trying to make meaning of things, it is the significant relationships that gives life its meaning.

46:11 Caller Oh, amen. My family, that's more important than anything to me. And I have moved in with my brother and his wife and their two young children. And that relationship has given me so much joy and hope. And I mean, I am finally content in so many areas of my life that I used to complain endlessly in the past.

46:32 Drew All right. So how can we help you out? Because we unfortunately have to go to a break here.

46:35 Caller That's a problem. The breast that is ulcerated and the tumor has become ulcerated. It's left of my breast. It's really ugly. It's awful. I mean, it doesn't smell good. It's terrible. So in approaching people, I'm not necessarily, it's really hard to find a relationship because somebody that's getting emotionally involved with something that's going to die. But I don't mind having a short-term relationship.

47:06 Drew You just want to have sex with somebody.

47:08 Adam A little booty call.

47:09 Drew I can't imagine. Even with the tumors and stuff, I can't imagine you would have trouble finding a guy if you went out and was open about it. I mean, you got nothing to lose.

47:17 Adam Got to say yes.

47:18 Drew You really got nothing to lose, Jeanette. I would just go out there, put myself out there, and there's lots of, you'd probably find some interesting people too, who are willing to put themselves up.

47:27 Adam I wonder if there's some sort of singles group or something.

47:29 Drew Absolutely.

47:30 Adam For people with cancer, people dealing with cancer. It seems like there seems a singles group for almost everything.

47:35 Drew I'm going to put Jeanette on hold and we'll be back after this.

47:52 If you need help, call Loveline.

47:55 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:29 Drew It's Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Ralph, that's the Gorillaz.

48:34 Adam Oh, I love the Gorillaz.

48:35 Drew You do?

48:36 Adam Oh, can't get enough of the Gorillaz.

48:38 Drew As a band?

48:38 Adam Oh, no. King Kong, Mighty Joe Young, all the famous Gorillaz.

48:43 Drew Have you ever met these guys?

48:45 Adam I've never met the Gorillaz.

48:45 Drew Okay.

48:46 Caller Hi, I'm Murdoch from Gorillaz. You're listening to Loveline with Adam and Drew.

48:54 Caller British bands.

48:55 Drew Oh, yeah. Genius.

48:56 Adam Sounds like a phone sex line I had to call.

48:58 Drew Genius. Oh, scare me. But British bands have a long-

49:02 Now getting ready for hot horny studs.

49:04 Drew Same thing.

49:05 Adam Same voice.

49:06 Drew That's right. A long heritage of British bands coming in here and just losing their ass, not being able to manage this Loveline thing.

49:14 Adam Brits are nuts, first of all.

49:15 Drew Yeah.

49:16 Adam That's why we got the hell out of there 250 years ago.

49:19 Drew Yeah, for the most part. But they come in and they'll sit down and they'll leave. They'll say, what are you doing here? I'm like, well, these are personal problems. Yeah, we told you they're going to.

49:30 Well, I can't believe you're talking to her about that. I really can't because it's not one of our business, is it? We really shouldn't be talking about that in the radio, should we?

49:37 Drew They get angry that we put them in the position of having to answer these questions.

49:41 I don't know these things. What am I supposed to say to her, for God's sakes? It's unbelievable.

49:46 Drew I got your channeling. You're giving me the chills.

49:48 Ralph Garman Yeah, I am, aren't I?

49:50 Drew Well, here's a call for you.

49:51 Who's this?

49:52 Drew Ryan, he's 21.

49:53 Caller Ryan, what's the problem, mate?

49:55 Caller Hi, guys. Well, okay, so when I get an erection, I should start off by saying that I'm uncircumcised. Beautiful. Yeah, not really.

50:04 Caller Well, everybody in England is uncircumcised.

50:06 Ralph Garman It's quite natural.

50:07 Caller Listen, you've got to wrap it in warm sheathing in order for it to grow. That's why we're all so large over there.

50:15 Drew Interesting. And it's not just England that people are uncut, right?

50:18 Caller No, it's everywhere, especially Africa. Look at the size of them.

50:22 Drew What's up, Ryan?

50:23 Caller Well, okay, so when I get an erection, it feels like my foreskin is very, very, very tight around the neck.

50:30 Drew Yeah, yeah. Yep, that can happen. And what unfortunately happens next is it starts kind of tearing, and then it scars and tightens more. That's probably one of the leading reasons people get circumcisions at an adult age.

50:43 Adam Because they don't care for the tearing of their penis?

50:45 Drew Yeah, the recurrent tearing. And then finally, the head will come out.

50:50 Adam The head will come out with the tearing of my penis.

50:51 Drew Yes, the head will not come out of the foreskin without it actually being sort of pushed through, and then it tears and it feels restricted.

50:56 Adam Oh dear God.

50:57 Drew It's a good time. It's a good time. And so you might want to see a urologist about getting the procedure done. It's not a bad thing.

51:02 Adam It's simple, right?

51:03 Drew It's simple.

51:05 Adam It's like getting your eyes done with LASIK. It just, they just go in there with LASIK, they just burn it off, you're good to go.

51:10 Drew Why do people make such a big deal about this? Whether it is or it isn't, if it's not working right, you need to fix it.

51:16 Adam Exactly.

51:17 Drew It's like your appendix doesn't work, the appendix goes, that's it. It's just, this should not be such a huge deal for people. The reality is that men are without the pre-pews are less likely to get the warts and transmit the warts. There are no cases of penile cancer so far documented without that. There was after circumcision. There's some reasons to go ahead and do it. By the way, we lost Jeanette. Jeanette, she was just called back in. We were going to talk to her some more with the fungating cancer. Yeah.

51:41 Adam How to get late when you have fungated cancer.

51:43 Drew It's good times. It's good times. Here is Cheryl, 21.

51:47 Ralph Garman Hi. Hi, Cheryl.

51:51 Basically, my problem is that my whole love life has been a flu of finding someone that I think that I'm interested in and then starting to date them. Then it culminates in us making out and me not being interested anymore. That's been the whole thing.

52:05 Drew Why are you so fearful of intimacy?

52:08 I don't really feel that I am necessarily.

52:10 Drew Well, I know you don't feel you are, but you are. As soon as you get close to somebody physically, whoop, pow, gone.

52:17 Well, maybe it's because it happens so quickly after we meet.

52:22 Adam That shouldn't really matter if you really like the person.

52:24 Drew After you eat?

52:25 Adam Meat.

52:25 Drew Meat.

52:27 Adam Yeah, she gets the Benz, Drew. She should make out for more than a half hour after lunch.

52:30 Drew What?

52:30 Adam Or else she gets cramps.

52:32 Drew So you don't like having physical contact within how long of getting to know a person?

52:39 Say that again?

52:40 Drew How long would you like to get to know a person before you have physical contact?

52:43 Well, the only person that I've ever romantically liked I knew for a year and then we didn't get together because we ended up moving.

52:50 Caller So.

52:51 Adam So you never made out with him?

52:53 No.

52:54 Adam And you still like him?

52:56 Caller I don't anymore.

52:57 But I mean, if there was a possibility of us having a relationship, then I probably would.

53:02 Adam Yeah.

53:03 Drew Cheryl.

53:04 Adam But don't you think it's possible if you made out with him, that might be the deal breaker there too, and you'd lose interest with him too?

53:09 Caller Yeah, probably.

53:11 Drew Sure. As Adam would say, we can hear it in your voice. You have trouble connecting with people. Let's face it. You're 21, you've only liked one person, and that person you sort of had a quasi-friendship with for a year, never really romantically engaged. There's something going on here, and I don't know what it is, but I would definitely look into it. This is not, I mean, think about it.

53:36 Caller It's not a timing thing.

53:37 Drew It's not a timing thing, Cheryl. You have trouble being close to people, right? Yes.

53:42 Caller Yeah.

53:42 Drew That's a disorder. That's a problem. That's something that needs some therapy with that. Yeah, you can get treatment with that.

53:47 Adam Because I've met chicks and made out with them the same night, and I've liked them for weeks after that, well over four or five weeks before I get bored with them, back in the day when I was the second.

53:55 Drew Yes, of course. I was just wondering, just to straighten that out. Ralph recently married.

53:59 Adam Recently. Marriage is spectacular. I recommend it highly.

54:02 Drew Before that, he was wild.

54:03 Wild.

54:04 Adam Forget about it.

54:04 Drew Ellen, 19.

54:06 Caller Hi. I had a long relationship, and it just ended not badly or anything, it just did. So I've been hesitant to be in a new relationship. So I've had this friend of mine who just have a friends with benefits thing going on, and it's fine, but until he slept with a friend of mine who has herpes. I don't care that they slept together, but that she has herpes, they use the condom.

54:37 Drew You don't care?

54:38 Caller No. Emotionally, I guess.

54:41 Drew You don't care at all?

54:43 Caller No. He's like my friend, but he's not like-

54:46 Adam He's just your F buddy.

54:47 Drew You don't care at all?

54:49 Caller No, not really. All right.

54:51 Adam Get past it, Drew. Some people can have sex and not be hooked up emotionally.

54:55 Drew Absolutely, and Ellen sounds like she's there, but I just wanted to test.

54:59 Adam She was with your friend who had herpes.

55:02 Caller Yeah, but he's been my backup thing when-

55:07 Adam Right. Not anymore, sweetie.

55:08 Drew Well, he doesn't necessarily have caught the herpes.

55:12 Caller Yeah.

55:12 Adam Why take that chance?

55:14 Caller Yeah, that's what I was doing. I don't know if-

55:16 Drew Make him wear a condom, takes it down a bit. He'll know if he has the herpes. I mean, he'll get some symptoms.

55:22 Adam But will he tell her?

55:23 Caller If he did, he would tell me. He said he would tell her. If he knows that he has it, then I would know that he has it, but should I just forget about it, not even take the risk, or is it something I... I don't know.

55:34 Drew We can't answer that for you. The risk is not zero even with him wearing a condom.

55:38 Caller Yeah.

55:38 Drew Right? And that's up to you if you want to take that risk.

55:41 Caller Okay.

55:41 Adam Ask him not to have sex with her anymore, though, if you are going to be with him.

55:45 Caller Yeah.

55:46 Drew I can't believe you have zero feelings about him having sex with a baby.

55:49 Adam Oh, Drew, will you grow up?

55:50 Drew Just saying.

55:51 Adam Some people don't.

55:52 Drew Some people don't. Ellen?

55:55 Caller Yeah?

55:57 Drew What was that?

55:58 Caller No, I was just listening.

56:00 Drew Okay. All right. Be careful. All right. This is Mike 23. What is that for summarizing that call?

56:07 Ralph Garman Hey, what's going on?

56:08 Drew Hey, what's going on there?

56:09 Ralph Garman Well, I've got two questions for you. I get to one first that I told the phone screener about. About four out of the past, I don't know, 10 relationships I have had have been with older women aging from around 28. This was a couple of years ago because I'm in a long-term relationship now but 28 to as old as about 45.

56:30 Caller You go, Mike.

56:32 Drew What's the question?

56:34 Ralph Garman What would make me be more attracted to an older woman?

56:37 Drew I'm not sure they're more attracted. I think that's just who happened to respond to you.

56:41 Caller How dare you?

56:42 Drew I'm just suggesting, Mike. Okay. All right. You just went from what was available and that was what was available. That's all right.

56:50 Adam When I was Mike Sage, when I was in my 20s, I dug older women too.

56:53 Drew Sure.

56:55 Ralph Garman Can I ask my second question?

56:56 Drew Yes, please.

56:57 Caller Okay.

56:58 Ralph Garman Well, you're always ripping on Dr. Phil and I wanted-

57:02 Drew I don't rip on the Adam Ripps on Dr. Phil. I don't.

57:06 Caller I've heard you criticize his theories.

57:09 Drew What did I say?

57:12 Ralph Garman Having to do with the you want to change kind of-

57:14 Drew All right. That stuff, that's not just him. I think in general, the whole idea of just choosing to change is a very, very unrealistic and a simplistic way of looking at extremely complex-

57:26 Caller What the hell is wrong with you, Drew?

57:29 Adam You have to want to change. You can be an art medillo in the middle of the road. If you don't roll up, you're going to be hit by a truck. Okay.

57:38 Drew How about general ethics?

57:39 Ralph Garman My question was regarding Dr. Laura.

57:42 Drew Yeah.

57:42 Ralph Garman I want to know how you felt about her ethics and the way she handles callers in very similar situations to who calls you.

57:54 Drew She tends to stay away from clinical stuff these days and sort of talks as I've listened to her carefully a long time. But my understanding is she stays more in the realm of morality and discussions about virtue and these kinds of things, rather than the clinical discussions about the deeper issues about the emotional circumstance, which is I have no objection to people doing that. I mean, anyone can do that. You can do that and get up and talk about values and but-

58:22 Caller Oh, well, of course.

58:24 Ralph Garman The one show I listened to her, actually I was flipping through my AM and I was just disgusted because I heard her just, I mean, there's two kinds of people I think of, you know, that's pro and anti-abortion, but she was like in a whole other realm. I mean, she was like basically, it's like everyone who's pregnant, unless they're a billionaire should not have kids, they should, and they should have like total like hysterectomies and whatnot.

58:48 Drew So she's pro-abortion?

58:50 Ralph Garman Well, too extreme.

58:52 Adam She's pro-sterilization.

58:54 Drew So she's saying that people should, well, I mean, she has a point, that people should be having kids only if they're really prepared to be parents, is that the bottom line?

59:02 Ralph Garman Well, no, she was basically like, for instance, one of her callers, her husband had just died. I don't know if he was in Iraq or whatnot, but he had just died and she was pregnant and she was calling, looking for some help, what to do and first thing Dr. Laura said was getting abortion.

59:23 Drew Wow.

59:24 Ralph Garman It just blew me away because she had no compassion at all.

59:28 Drew Wow.

59:28 Adam Well, she's a sweet, sweet lady.

59:31 Drew That's surprising. I mean, it's particularly given that she sort of takes a moralistic point of view that doesn't seem highly moralistic.

59:36 Adam What the hell is wrong with her?

59:38 Drew She needs to choose not to be pregnant.

59:39 Adam She should shave her head and grow a mustache.

59:44 Drew I agree with you, Mike. It sounds a little shocking. I would want to sort of hear it myself to understand the context of those sorts of statements. But I mean, you can understand, Ralph, that in this day and age, people are having kids that have no business having kids.

59:55 Adam I do. But she's a bit of a blowhard.

59:58 Drew Yeah.

59:58 Adam I think she takes stands that are sort of sensationalistic just to have people listen to her.

1:00:02 Drew Oh, you think that made one of those things she was doing?

1:00:04 Adam Yeah. I think she's a faux radio personality in terms of actually expressing what she really feels versus what she thinks is going to sound good on the radio.

1:00:12 Drew Oh, interesting.

1:00:13 Adam I think it's a character more than anything else.

1:00:14 Drew Interesting. That's sort of what rush is too.

1:00:17 Adam Absolutely. A lot of people who are very successful in radio just take a stand to take it.

1:00:20 Drew Tom Lakers.

1:00:21 Adam Tom Lakers. They just posture themselves in a way they know is going to get a rise out of people.

1:00:28 Drew But they believe the point of view. They just wouldn't necessarily take it as their own all the time. You know what I mean? They wouldn't do that.

1:00:34 Caller They turn it up to 11. They turn it up to 11 to make it a little more powerful.

1:00:38 Drew I am curious though, what does our governor, the governor of California believe about abortion? Does he prefer abortion?

1:00:44 Ralph Garman I believe no one should have an abortion. You should just power lift. And if you are doing squats in the gym, you know, with like 200, 400 pounds, sometimes naturally the baby will just be shot across the gym. And if that happens, then you weren't meant to carry it to full term.

1:00:58 Drew But what now, is that a technique that a woman could also use in order to have a delivery? Like a planned delivery in nine months?

1:01:04 Ralph Garman Absolutely. If you do a leg presses with enough weights that you keep your legs spread wide to work the outside of the trap, the quads there, then the next thing you know, the baby will be shooting into the arms of the trainer. And then you give the baby little weights right away, right out of the womb, so they can start working. It's good.

1:01:19 Drew And so a trainer can be a midwife and trainer.

1:01:22 Ralph Garman A strong baby is a healthy baby. If we have too many weak babies in California, that's the problem. That's why the health insurance costs are to the roof. We need stronger babies who will bench press more.

1:01:32 Drew And are those trainers going to continue to follow kids through grammar school?

1:01:35 Ralph Garman Absolutely. Every day, they should be personal trainers in other schools.

1:01:38 Drew What might the teachers have something to say about that or no?

1:01:41 Ralph Garman No child left with a flabby behind is my new program. So they'll all do, you know, working with the mule kicks to get their buttocks more firm.

1:01:49 Drew I see. But back to abortion, is it right? Is it wrong? Do you have a feeling about that? I understand you can induce one through 400-pound squats. That's right.

1:01:56 Ralph Garman You know, through heavy exercise, you can make the baby go...

1:01:58 Drew Is that something we should feel good about?

1:02:00 Ralph Garman Absolutely. Exercise always makes you feel good.

1:02:02 Drew No matter what. So that's just God's way of...

1:02:04 Ralph Garman It releases the endorphins in your bloodstream.

1:02:06 Drew No, but I don't mean you actually feel good during the abortive phase.

1:02:09 Ralph Garman I'm confused then.

1:02:10 Drew No, no. But I mean, should we feel good in terms of sense of doing what's right if a baby comes out during a 400-pound bench leg press?

1:02:17 Ralph Garman It all depends on how much the baby's going to cost me.

1:02:20 Drew Oh, as the governor?

1:02:21 Ralph Garman Yeah, or me personally. If I fool around with them and there's a paternity suit, I need to know whether they're going to sue or not.

1:02:27 Drew Not us as taxpayers shouldn't be concerned about it.

1:02:29 Ralph Garman No, I should be concerned with the paternity suits, with the gropings.

1:02:32 Drew You know, I saw, it's strangely that this stuff is sort of, if you'll permit me, governor.

1:02:36 Ralph Garman Ah, I couldn't stop you. It's your show.

1:02:38 Drew If you'll permit me, I, you know, a lot of things seem to have sort of been forgiven about your past.

1:02:43 Ralph Garman That's true.

1:02:44 Drew And I remember, I saw some footage of you actually in probably mid-80s goofing around down in Brazil, and it was intriguing.

1:02:52 Ralph Garman Oh, Carnaval in the Rio time.

1:02:54 Drew Yeah, you were...

1:02:55 Ralph Garman With the dancers up on the stage.

1:02:56 Drew Yeah, I think you were up there with sort of Will Chamberlain in terms of numbers of sexual encounters.

1:03:01 Ralph Garman I was grabbing a lot of buttocks that week, yes.

1:03:03 Drew Is that okay with Maria? Is that okay with your... I mean, you... But how do we reconcile that with you as governor now?

1:03:09 Ralph Garman Whenever Maria gets upset with the other woman that I fool around with, I just shake her, and her head is so heavy, she's like a bobblehead, her head just starts going back and forth.

1:03:16 Drew The brain is so huge.

1:03:17 Ralph Garman It rattles her until she's so confused and dizzy, she just sits down and she forgets all about it, all these things.

1:03:22 Drew But all those good genes have been transmitted to your son, thankfully.

1:03:25 Ralph Garman Thank God he's ready to go out there and start groping and molesting, and then eventually he'll be asked for forgiveness and people will give it.

1:03:31 Drew Would you be okay with him using steroids? Do you think that would be an okay thing?

1:03:34 Ralph Garman Absolutely. I put it every morning in his Cheerios, I put a little little Sterioids.

1:03:39 Drew Sterioids? Sterioids, yeah.

1:03:40 Ralph Garman Twice as many.

1:03:41 Drew Sterioids. Sterioids. That's a new cereal. That's good. But you've already, you've already offered them to your child, you're not even giving him a choice.

1:03:49 Ralph Garman No, I put it in the drinking water, I put it in the toothpaste. Anyway I can get it into the system, I give it to them.

1:03:54 Drew That's good.

1:03:54 Ralph Garman Because I'm building the Master Ace with the Schwarzenegger family.

1:03:57 Drew Oh, really? So you got the great Maria Schreiber brains?

1:04:00 Ralph Garman Exactly. We've got the Kennedy family and the Schwarzenegger family. We're going to make the Master Ace and soon we'll be...

1:04:06 Drew And then pharmacologically enhancing it with a little steroid? That's right.

1:04:09 Ralph Garman We'll be marching to the streets in jackboots anytime soon.

1:04:12 Drew Do you have an opinion about the baseball scandals lately? I mean, steroids seem to be in the news a lot.

1:04:15 Ralph Garman I think all the players should be given steroids. That way it's an even playing field for everybody.

1:04:20 Drew Fantastic. Why not?

1:04:21 Ralph Garman All athletes should all take steroids. That way we can forget about the whole controversy about who takes and who doesn't.

1:04:26 Drew Just everyone will.

1:04:28 Ralph Garman Give it to the cheerleaders too in the NFL. Massive women with giant boobies dancing up and down on the sidelines. That would be more entertaining than these puny little girls.

1:04:36 Drew You've seen the female bodybuilders. It makes the breast shrink a little bit very often.

1:04:39 Ralph Garman But we do put the artificial ones in there.

1:04:41 Drew I see.

1:04:42 Ralph Garman That's why God created plastic surgery.

1:04:44 Drew Of course. Now back to the teachers and the steroids and the students and the abortion. That's where we started this discussion. Do you think abortion is right?

1:04:54 Ralph Garman I think abortion is right for some people. I think it's wrong for other people. That's the best political answer I can give you. Because everybody votes and I'm in deep doo-doo right now with my poll numbers. So I have to be careful who I alienate.

1:05:07 Drew I see. So you're not going to take a strong position on abortion?

1:05:10 Ralph Garman I absolutely, definitely do not take a stronger position on this, no.

1:05:14 Drew Definitely not.

1:05:15 Ralph Garman Absolutely, definitely not.

1:05:16 Drew It's up to, at this point, up to personal choice.

1:05:18 Ralph Garman It really is.

1:05:19 Drew So you're pro-abortion?

1:05:20 Ralph Garman I'm absolutely not pro-abortion or anti-abortion or pro-life or anti-life. Absolutely, definitely. And all of these things.

1:05:30 Drew You seem to have much more ease talking about steroids than abortion.

1:05:33 Ralph Garman Well, because I have more experience with steroids than abortions. I've only performed a half a dozen of those. Did I say that loud? Damn.

1:05:42 Drew And of course, I guess you're right, you mentioned at the beginning of this discussion that you, there's some paternity issues out there, and you didn't encourage these women to have abortion.

1:05:50 Ralph Garman No, I did not at all, but I did give them heavy weights to work out with.

1:05:54 Drew So they might drop.

1:05:54 Ralph Garman Exactly, hoping that maybe the baby with like a bungee cord would come out on the end of the umbilical cord.

1:06:02 Drew But then it goes back in.

1:06:04 Ralph Garman It does, yes.

1:06:07 Drew I'm just saying. All right.

1:06:08 Ralph Garman You are. You are just saying. I can tell that by coming out of your mouth.

1:06:11 Drew I want you to know that you are my dream loveline guest, and I want to appreciate you being so open and honest and clear with us. Taking such strong positions.

1:06:21 Ralph Garman With all the clarity and all the positioning.

1:06:23 Drew Yes, it's been nice. So hold on. Now, we got to talk back now to Jeanette who finally returned to us with the breast tumor. Jeanette?

1:06:29 Caller Hello.

1:06:30 Drew All right. We're back.

1:06:31 Caller Nice to be back.

1:06:32 Drew Yes. So your thing was you have an advanced form of breast cancer and there's some external disfiguration because of it. You have some time left to go and you'd like to have sex in that time.

1:06:45 Caller I think that's a fair request.

1:06:47 Drew I do too. Ralph's ready to go and he's a married man. Imagine the single guys out there.

1:06:52 Adam Jeanette, think. My wife would give me such a pass if I told her I was going to have sex with a woman with breast cancer who had a limited time left.

1:06:58 Drew Wow.

1:06:59 Adam That would be the-

1:06:59 Drew That's quite an angle.

1:07:01 Caller It would be a mercy F, right?

1:07:03 Adam Exactly.

1:07:05 Drew Have you gone out and sort of tried this?

1:07:07 Caller Yes. The problem is that I- It may not sound like a problem to you, but I am considered rather attractive and I've got the one breast that is still in great shape, it's very perky size D. So I put on my bra and it's almost like false advertising when I get them alone in the bedroom and then they see that there's only one piece.

1:07:27 Drew No, listen.

1:07:28 Adam But you're 99 percent hot, really, what do they want?

1:07:31 Drew By the way, you can find some sort of a- what's the name of the famous dancer that got the head of John the Baptist? Salome? Some sort of robe covering that part and that's- you know what I mean? They'll be fine. Plus, guys are accommodating when it comes to situations like this. My God. Yeah. I mean, and Ralph-

1:07:52 Adam I'd rather have a chick who's 99 percent hot than one who's like 50 percent hot.

1:07:57 Drew I think of all these a-hole guys out there that she needs. I mean, seriously, there's so many mercenary guys like, oh, hey, you need me for- fine, be right right there and you won't be around? Oh, fantastic.

1:08:10 Adam You're like a dream date, Jeanette, for a lot of my friends.

1:08:14 Drew And Ralph, an interesting idea too about looking on the internet for people, for cancer survivors and things, that there may be some other sort of network out there for you. But I still can't believe, I still cannot believe you can't just go out there and just have your needs met.

1:08:27 Adam I think you could if you wanted to, Jeanette. You sound a little apprehensive about it though.

1:08:31 Caller Well, I just feel bad about kind of tricking somebody into-

1:08:34 Adam You're giving them vagina.

1:08:36 Drew Jeanette, Jeanette.

1:08:36 Adam Don't worry about it.

1:08:37 Drew Stop thinking like a girl. Stop it. Stop it, okay? Stop it.

1:08:42 Caller You got it. Just put them into a one-night stand and just-

1:08:45 Drew You're not tricking them. You're not tricking them.

1:08:46 Adam You're saying, Hi, I'm 99 cent hot, 99 percent hot. Would you like to have sex with me? Yes, I would. Thank you.

1:08:51 Drew And you don't even have to get into why.

1:08:52 Caller Right.

1:08:53 Adam And I'm not taking my shirt off. Okay, that's your fetish, sweetie. I'm with you.

1:08:57 Caller Right.

1:08:57 Drew Just lift your skirt. Keep the lights off and don't touch over here and that's fine. The guys will be like, whatever.

1:09:03 Caller And it'll be okay. Right on. You guys are fantastic.

1:09:07 Adam You get to dictate your own terms. You're the woman.

1:09:11 Drew Ladies are in control. They don't realize that. It's amazing. It's bizarre.

1:09:15 Caller They've got the magic place.

1:09:17 Drew They don't realize how lame men are and they don't realize that they call the shots. They got the goods. Absolutely. This guy named Lionel Tiger is a biological anthropologist at Rutgers and he wrote some famous books, one called The Decline of Males. And he said that throughout human history, women have tamed men. That's true. Women insist on a certain behavior and they insist upon it, unified, that's the behavior. That's it.

1:09:43 Adam Think of all the great badasses through history who have just been brought to their knees by chicks. Napoleon and Julius Caesar and Alexander the Great and all these guys who just did anything just to get a little vagina. They just buckled like wusses. They are conquering continents and taking on armies and slaying men left and right.

1:10:00 Drew We were just talking to Arnold Schwartz saying Arnold was just helpless in the face of women.

1:10:03 Adam He couldn't turn any woman down.

1:10:06 Drew He couldn't contain it.

1:10:07 Adam German women with mustaches. He still couldn't stop fondling them.

1:10:10 Drew You add some steroids on top of that. Forget it. Forget it. You just can't stop.

1:10:16 Adam You have all the power, ladies. You don't even know it. Thank God you don't because then you would run the society and we would all be screwed.

1:10:22 Drew By the way, to the extent that there is undermining of women's power, it usually is on the basis of other women. Other women maintain the double standard. Men create it but let it go. Women perpetuate it. Don't date her. She's a slut.

1:10:38 Adam I'm going to call her a slut. That will make her feel bad. Guys say, that girl is a slut but you know what?

1:10:42 Drew I'll date her.

1:10:42 Adam That's the girl they want.

1:10:43 Drew Fine, Jeanette.

1:10:43 Adam She's going to sleep with me?

1:10:44 Drew Yes. They're in.

1:10:45 Adam More power to her.

1:10:46 Drew Yes, exactly. So please, ladies, don't talk about the man creating the double standards. You all create the double standards. Let's do something bad if you don't like it. That's right. Stop it. You know what's in one last bit. Chimpanzees do this. Chimpanzee pod, females, when one of the female misbehaves, all the other female chimpanzees will turn their back on her. They'll shun.

1:11:06 Adam And they give them the chimp cold shoulder.

1:11:08 Drew And that's what our female compatriots do. That's what our humans do. Wow. So.

1:11:13 Adam That's pretty weak for chimps. Chimps should throw their poop at her or something.

1:11:16 Drew Oh, they do that too. They do that too. And, you know.

1:11:18 Adam Pelt her with banana skins or something a little more animalistic.

1:11:21 Drew Probably some of that too.

1:11:22 Adam It's a little weak ass just to turn your hairy shoulder on some rod.

1:11:24 Drew And they show that baboon butt kind of thing.

1:11:27 Adam How about this? This is my chimp ass. How do you like me now?

1:11:29 Drew It's a little more disgusting. All right, Ralph Garman is here. The movie is Two for the Money. It's coming out on October 7th. Keep an eye out for that. And we will be back for you at 1-800-LOVE-191 after this.

1:11:41 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:12:08 Drew That's right, it's Loveline, 1-800, oh, let me try that again. Loveline, 1-800, okay, here we go, all right, again.

1:12:18 Caller Three, two, one, go.

1:12:20 Drew It's like professional radio, Loveline!

1:12:23 Caller Wow, years.

1:12:25 Drew 1-800-LOVE-191, a radio pro, radio donny for years.

1:12:28 Adam What a spaz.

1:12:29 Drew I know, it's pathetic.

1:12:30 Adam They told me this was a professional radio show when I came in here.

1:12:32 Drew 20 years, Ralph, 21 years we've been doing this. Oh, Drew. It's very pathetic. Yeah, well, nobody ever trained me, what are you going to do? All right, so we're here with Ralph Garman, Two for the Money, Al Pacino, Matthew McConaughey, Ralph Garman, Rene Russo, Jeremy Piven, Jeremy Piven, The Piv, and here now is Craig, 20.

1:12:52 Caller Hi, how's it going?

1:12:53 Drew We're doing good. What's up, Craig?

1:12:56 Ralph Garman I'm actually, I'm gay. I've been gay for probably three years now.

1:13:04 Drew You're gay. Good times.

1:13:06 Ralph Garman Thanks. I was actually abused as a child from my dad. He used to beat me, actually. Nice. I'd like to be a little bit more submissive, but-

1:13:20 Drew To reenact the abuse.

1:13:22 Adam It's surprising you like dude so much when your dad beat you up. You think it would go the other way.

1:13:29 Ralph Garman That connects to a few other things. I'm into a lot of BDSM, something like that.

1:13:34 Drew That's reenacting the trauma. The extraordinary thing about the human, I say this all the time, excuse me, is that the sources of terror in childhood become the source of attraction in adulthood. It's amazing. But that's how the human is wired.

1:13:48 Adam That's what happened to Batman.

1:13:50 Drew Look at him.

1:13:50 Adam He was scared by bats, now he runs around in a costume fighting crime.

1:13:53 Drew There you go.

1:13:53 Adam See?

1:13:54 Drew Reenacting the tribe.

1:13:55 Adam Just like Craig runs around in tights.

1:13:57 Drew What happened to Adam West, though, is really the question.

1:13:59 Adam That's a whole other story. So Craig, what's your problem with wanting to get into BDSM and stuff? Are you concerned about the behavior?

1:14:07 Ralph Garman Well, it's not that. I'm into that. It's that whatever I'm trying to be submissive, I connect those feelings back to childhood.

1:14:16 Drew Right.

1:14:17 Adam Sure, they're connected. That's why you feel that way.

1:14:18 Drew Yes. It's a way of trying to un- it's a way- compulsion, these compulsion reactions, we compulsively repeat these behaviors, is not a way of working them through. It just becomes a stuck thing.

1:14:33 Caller Yeah.

1:14:35 Drew I mean, if you're okay with it and it doesn't hurt anything and you want to keep doing that.

1:14:38 Adam Well, it does hurt. That's the good part.

1:14:40 Drew Very comfortable with it. That's one thing. But to just say, oh, well, I'm just into this and that's just the way it goes. And I'm expressing my true feelings and working on that. That's all BS. It's a way of compulsively reenacting.

1:14:53 Ralph Garman No, it's not that. I actually get closer from that.

1:14:55 Drew Of course you do.

1:14:56 Caller That's the problem.

1:14:58 Ralph Garman It's just that I actually want to try and be a little bit more submissive, but my mind won't let me do that.

1:15:06 Drew Well, describe that.

1:15:07 Ralph Garman It goes back.

1:15:08 Drew What are you talking about exactly?

1:15:11 Ralph Garman Like in, I guess, textual situations, to be more submissive towards...

1:15:19 Drew What does that mean?

1:15:20 Adam You have to give us a for instance, we're not familiar with the BDSM world of gay guys.

1:15:24 Drew I want somebody to do X to me while I do Y. What is the X and the Y?

1:15:28 Adam You want to get on your knees and have some village people looking guys standing over you in assless chaps and then what happens?

1:15:36 Ralph Garman Probably just along the lines of more vanilla, this actually having-

1:15:44 Drew Craig, you're talking in parables. I don't get it.

1:15:47 Ralph Garman Okay. On the receiving end of the gay relationship.

1:15:52 Drew You like to be a receiver.

1:15:53 Ralph Garman You're a catcher.

1:15:54 Drew You like to be a catcher. You're afraid to do that.

1:15:57 Ralph Garman Yeah, because I can't connect that.

1:15:59 Drew You can't what?

1:16:01 Ralph Garman I can't connect that. Actually, to get pleasure from that, but I want to.

1:16:08 Adam Craig. Craig, Craig, Craig.

1:16:13 Drew Anderson. I got Anderson. I got it. We got it.

1:16:16 Adam Craig, have you ever been through treatment about what happened with you and your dad? You ever gone that route?

1:16:21 Drew Not really. Yeah.

1:16:23 Adam Maybe you should deal with that aspect first, try to get that settled and sort of worked out in your head, and then you can go on to your adult sexual relationships.

1:16:29 Drew I think that's always a good idea, and also this idea that you have to be more submissive. It sounds like something you find.

1:16:37 Adam You failed a test or something.

1:16:38 Drew You find unpleasurable, you're afraid to do it, and it's because I need to be more submissive.

1:16:42 Adam I'm going to grit my teeth and just get there.

1:16:44 Drew That is an act that not everybody finds pleasurable, and maybe you're one of those people for whom it's not a great thing. It's okay. It's not because you need to be more open and submissive. It's because-

1:16:54 Adam Well, you may need to be more open. That might be the problem.

1:16:56 Drew I'm just saying. You might like it better if you're a little more open. Manny, 25. Hey, guys.

1:17:03 Caller How are you doing?

1:17:04 Drew What's going on?

1:17:04 Adam How are you doing, Manny?

1:17:05 Caller Hey, I'm wondering real quick, Drew, if you could tell me about using acupuncture to quit smoking.

1:17:11 Drew Acupuncture is helpful, and for some people, it might be very useful, but the reality is that the only sort of scientifically- the only thing that stood up to scientific scrutiny is A, the gum followed by wellbutrin. That seems to be the most, or Zyban, that seems to be the most efficacious way of dealing with nicotine addiction or nicotine dependency. So you smoke, you chew the gum for a couple weeks, and then you add the Zyban in, that has the highest probability of you stopping the cigarettes. Given how really significant the effects of tobacco are in your health, I do it.

1:17:43 Adam Oh, stop looking at me when you say that. Have you heard about the laser thing now? People go in and they have this laser treatment? A friend of mine.

1:17:50 Drew Yes, it's an acupuncture thing.

1:17:52 Adam She had the laser treatment and she said she was right as rain afterwards.

1:17:57 Drew Acupuncture helps, but first of all, maybe the studies haven't been done yet. And B, people I hear about say it doesn't sustain.

1:18:05 Caller Oh, really?

1:18:05 Drew It goes for a while and they're good, so it's helpful, but it wears off. Steven, 21.

1:18:11 Caller Yeah, my question is, I just turned 21 and about for the past four months, after having sex, I can't get my erection to go down. And it's lasted...

1:18:21 Drew Ralph has that problem too, Steven. In fact, never.

1:18:24 Adam I hear you, brother. I have to wear size 42 pants because I just need room for my erection.

1:18:31 Drew You're a junk.

1:18:31 Adam Yeah. They call me the tent master around home. It's embarrassing.

1:18:37 Caller My problem is because I have sex in the morning a lot. And I'll still have an erection when I have to go to work. And it's pretty embarrassing. It's hard to hide.

1:18:47 Drew What if you have sex a second time?

1:18:50 Caller That's also that we've tried that before. Like, first we just thought maybe I was still horny or something. We'd have sex and it would just stay like that.

1:18:59 Drew Just because it's intriguing. What do you do for a living?

1:19:03 Caller Actually I work for a bank.

1:19:05 Caller A nude bank?

1:19:07 Adam The Bank of Naked.

1:19:09 Drew And Steven, are you on medication?

1:19:13 Caller No, I'm not on any medication or anything like that.

1:19:15 Drew And no medical problems?

1:19:17 Adam Steven, have you tried any self-service remedies in this situation? Like when you get to work and you're near the vault, you just sneak in real quick and close the door and close the deal? Spackle some 20s back there.

1:19:27 Caller Well, actually, I worked downtown. I worked in an office with 20 other people.

1:19:30 Drew So that's when he's driving downtown. Restroom, stalls. No, no, he's staying in the car. Oh, there you go.

1:19:36 Adam You know, get the trucker's friend or whatever they call that device.

1:19:42 Drew I don't know.

1:19:43 Adam I mean, how long? I'm excited by this topic. For what portion of the day is this a problem for you? Is this a constant thing? We're all day long?

1:19:51 Drew Just in the morning.

1:19:52 Adam Just in the morning.

1:19:53 Caller The morning and the night, like, because I can't get to sleep.

1:19:56 Adam Sure, you can't sleep in your stomach, that's for sure.

1:19:58 Drew Why? Because you have to go to your-

1:20:00 Caller We have sex in the afternoon. It bothers me that it won't go down, but I'm not in a position where I have to worry about it.

1:20:08 Drew Right. Well, why at night is it a problem?

1:20:10 Caller At night, it's a problem because I can't get to sleep because, one, I have, actually going on, and two, I have constant visual images of sex.

1:20:21 Drew So you need to have sex for a couple of times. How often do you have sex?

1:20:27 Caller Probably around four or five times a day.

1:20:30 Drew No way. The one you never lose are actually never stop having sex.

1:20:37 Caller Well, usually once or twice in the morning, and then maybe once in the afternoon when I come home for work, and maybe once or twice before we go to bed.

1:20:45 Drew I hope you're kidding.

1:20:47 Caller No. Well, we really love each other. We're about to get married, actually.

1:20:51 Drew Yeah.

1:20:51 Adam Well, that'll stop it.

1:20:54 Drew That's going to take care of it right there. You'll be fine.

1:20:56 Adam If you get married, that'll cut way down. Your penis will actually retract into your body. If you get married, it'll be fine.

1:21:02 Drew You'll have to back into your wife.

1:21:05 Caller Anything like I should be worried about physical long-term damage or anything?

1:21:09 Drew No, no.

1:21:10 Adam No, you're the king of all you survey. You have a penis that won't go down.

1:21:13 Drew There's something called priapism, but you're not talking about just a penis that's painful and unpleasant and stays erect. You're talking about constant sexual arousal. It makes me concerned that you're bipolar. People are manic and get like this all the time.

1:21:26 Adam It doesn't sound like he enjoys it all that much.

1:21:30 Caller I enjoy having sex and even when it's still aroused for an hour after, sex still feels good. It doesn't ever hurt.

1:21:37 Adam It sounds kind of annoying, though, to have the hard erection.

1:21:41 Caller Yeah, it's annoying.

1:21:42 Adam Yeah.

1:21:42 Drew But why can't you do it enough that you finish? You know what I'm saying? Why can't you do it a few times?

1:21:49 Adam Well, two in a row, that doesn't help. That's what he's saying. He still remains that in the morning.

1:21:53 Drew What about three in a row, then?

1:21:55 Caller I climax each time. It's not like I go-

1:21:57 Drew Why not three in a row, then?

1:21:58 Caller I'll stop bragging.

1:22:00 Drew Well, you're 21. Why not three in a row, then? Three in a row?

1:22:04 Caller That help? Do you think that would help?

1:22:06 Adam I just keep doing it until it goes down.

1:22:08 Drew Exactly, because you're having continued arousal. I mean, it makes me worry. I think of all kinds of biologically, you have testosterone-producing tumour, or God knows what.

1:22:17 Adam Just a horny bastard.

1:22:19 Drew Is your father Arnold Schwarzenegger, Steve, and he's putting the steroids, steroidios, what was it?

1:22:26 Adam Sterios.

1:22:26 Drew Sterios.

1:22:30 Adam Sterios.

1:22:31 Drew Oh, my.

1:22:32 Caller The oat cereal with steroids.

1:22:33 Drew Okay. Let's talk to-

1:22:35 Adam That guy should keep a journal because 20 years from now, he's going to look back on this part of his life and say, oh, damn, I missed those days.

1:22:41 Drew I think you should be documented what's happening here. This is more than just a journal. It should be some sort of scientific documents.

1:22:47 Adam You put them in a room like you're doing that milk commercial and just fold them in and put those diodes on his head or whatever it is.

1:22:53 Drew Craig, 26.

1:22:55 Caller Hi, how are you?

1:22:56 Drew There we are.

1:22:57 Caller What's up?

1:22:58 Caller I have a question about the difference between oral herpes and general herpes. I understand you can contract one or the other, but here's my specific example. My girlfriend gave me oral sex and she gets cold sores about once a year. She has and she's been like 10 years old and she didn't get the cold sores, but she hasn't been getting them from sexual contact, she's sort of from her family. I know that you can go from oral to genital. You can contract it, but is it very common?

1:23:25 Drew It's very common. That's a very common route of transmission, but not as common as say canker sores are. So in other words, canker sores are herpes, right?

1:23:38 Caller No, canker sores are not a viral infection, canker sores are ulcers.

1:23:42 Drew Yes, but that's what herpes is, viral. Yeah, go to med school, will you? Herpes are viral ulcers, and that's what herpes looks like. Have you ever seen a canker sore? That's what herpes looks like.

1:23:53 Caller No, herpes are on the outside of the mouth, from what I understand, canker sores are on the inside.

1:23:57 Drew Drew, would you please get your act together? There's apthastomatitis, which is usually photo activated, external, which is definitely herpes. But the ulcers inside the mouth can also, potentially, at times, be herpes. The problem is, that's what I'm saying, is that you can't distinguish what kind is going to be transmissible and not. And the incidence of canker sores and recurrent viral ulcers in the mouth are much higher than true viral herpes in the mouth. So it's hard to know what's your risk for and what you're not. But that's how, basically, how terpes 1 ended up on the genitalia. Somebody had it in their mouth and transmitted it down there.

1:24:33 Adam But I've heard even if you get an outbreak down there for the first time when you're exposed to it, if a woman with a cold sore goes down on you and you get that down there, that the virus will eventually work its way up to your mouth because that's where the outbreaks for that virus ordinarily attack. Have you heard that at all?

1:24:48 Drew No, I've seen one in two on the genitalia and one on two on the mouth.

1:24:52 Adam There you go.

1:24:53 Caller So if she gets a cold sore once a year, and potentially you can still transmit it anytime of the year?

1:25:00 Drew Well, I mean potentially, but obviously it's not happening. A lot more people have that than transmit that. You know what I'm saying? So it's obviously something that is a more common kind of virus that is not necessarily the herpes virus that can be transmitted. So if she has it externally, if she has the photo activated, what's called apostomatitis, that's going to be transmissible.

1:25:21 Adam Stay away from her then.

1:25:23 Caller My situation is that we had oral sex and then the next day she developed a cold sore eye.

1:25:29 Drew That's probably just from the irritation from having the irritation of something in her mouth for a period of time. And that doesn't necessarily mean she was contagious then. You'll know it. You'll get an outbreak if there's something there and it would happen within two weeks.

1:25:40 Caller I think he's trying to avoid that, Drew.

1:25:42 Caller What I understood is that you can carry the virus and not even have an outbreak.

1:25:47 Drew You can, but for men it's much less common than for women. Women commonly carry it and don't know it. Men, particularly if you're looking for anything. Craig is examining his...

1:25:58 Adam He's a little nervous. Nellie is what Craig is.

1:25:59 Drew He's got a magnifying glass out. You're going to see something or at least go to the doctor.

1:26:04 Adam Just swing, baby. Just swing. Take your chances. Ring-a-ding-ding.

1:26:10 Drew Let's take Matt real quick. Matt, 27.

1:26:12 Caller Yeah, hey. Hey, guys.

1:26:13 Drew Yah-hey.

1:26:15 Caller Is Carolla coming back anytime soon?

1:26:18 Drew End of the week. Next week.

1:26:19 Caller Good enough. Good enough.

1:26:21 Caller Yeah, I'm on Propecia.

1:26:24 Caller Been on it for about four months. And I just have a lack of sex drive going on right now.

1:26:30 Drew That's Propecia.

1:26:32 Caller That's what it does?

1:26:33 Drew That's one of the side effects. You can take a reduced dose, but are you going bald?

1:26:39 Caller Not really, not yet, but...

1:26:41 Caller Just in case?

1:26:42 Caller That's the best insurance I think I can get.

1:26:44 Caller Kind of a catch-22.

1:26:46 Drew Yeah, try a reduced dose. Talk to your doctor about bringing it maybe cut in half. That's something that some guys do.

1:26:51 Adam He wants more back hair. That's the problem. He's trying to cultivate that. The chicks dig back hair.

1:26:56 Drew Yeah, they do. Yeah, the bare look is something that's big these days.

1:26:59 Adam It's funny, Propecia is a great catch-22 where, yeah, the chicks will dig it because you have a full head of hair, but then you won't be able to really do anything.

1:27:03 Drew It's not interesting.

1:27:04 Adam Do anything.

1:27:04 Drew Who cares? All right, Ralph Garman is my guest. Corolla is out. Again, that number for his show if you want to be a guest in the Comedy Center show.

1:27:11 Caller The MC Ride Show.

1:27:12 Drew 1-866-8-ADAM. The phone number here is 800-LOVE-191. And we'll be back with your calls in just a moment.

1:27:21 Caller Dude, you got issues.

1:27:23 Caller Call Loveline.

1:27:24 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:27:55 Drew Loveline, guest host, Ralph Garman. And Ralph was, by the way, I was glad to hear the Trojan ads piling up tonight, but we also have some Durex business to take care of.

1:28:05 Adam Oh yeah, we got the Party Pack to give away.

1:28:07 Drew And Ralph, we forgot to tell him how that process works, and so he was keeping a list of the people he wanted to choose.

1:28:12 Adam He was like, oh, this is a good call. This is a good call.

1:28:14 Drew Yeah, he was picking the call, but didn't tell our screener to keep the caller on the line.

1:28:19 Adam I can do it at the moment.

1:28:20 Drew So now I have a call I believe will be appropriate for the Durex pack. This is Victoria 19.

1:28:25 Adam I'll be the judge of that, Drew. I'm in charge of the Durex pack here.

1:28:28 Drew I'm the Trojan guy for the record. All right, Victoria 19.

1:28:32 Caller Victoria, what's up?

1:28:34 Ralph Garman Well, ever since I lost my virginity when I was 16, I've had this huge sex drive.

1:28:43 Drew Was that a traumatic experience for you when you were 16?

1:28:45 Ralph Garman No, it was really nice.

1:28:47 Caller Good times. Good times.

1:28:49 Drew So you're just into this?

1:28:50 Ralph Garman Yeah, I love it. But the problem is, I'm in a long-term relationship, and the problem is he's in the Army, and so he's away from me. I just find it really easy to just sleep with anybody that happens to come along. Sure.

1:29:08 Drew Yeah, guys are easy.

1:29:09 Adam Boy, do I know that.

1:29:10 Drew Yeah. Well, Ralph, I'm just saying.

1:29:12 Adam Before we get any further, Victoria, we're going to give you the Durex Party Pack. It comes with a bunch of Durex condoms.

1:29:18 Ralph Garman Sweet, thanks.

1:29:19 Adam So you can use those while your boyfriend is defending our country. You're busy whoring around.

1:29:26 Ralph Garman The thing is, we said that we'd have an open relationship. But I just feel like, is there something wrong with me that I have this huge sex drive and I just can't control. Well, I just feel like I have no control and I just lose myself.

1:29:39 Drew Well, not having control is problematic. But how often are you doing this?

1:29:44 Ralph Garman Well, I've been trying to stop myself because I don't really think it's that healthy because I'm not always that safe.

1:29:49 Drew Oh, too large. Well, now you have the party pack.

1:29:51 Adam You need the directs party pack.

1:29:53 Drew All right.

1:29:55 Ralph Garman But I don't know, before I stopped myself probably once a week.

1:30:01 Drew Oh, different guys each time?

1:30:03 Ralph Garman Yeah, most of the time.

1:30:04 Drew For how long did you do that?

1:30:07 Ralph Garman Well, I did it. I lost my virginity when I was 16. Then for about two and a half years, I just kind of slept with anybody.

1:30:17 Adam How many weeks in the year?

1:30:19 Caller 52?

1:30:20 Drew You're talking about 150 guys?

1:30:21 Adam About 150 guys. That's a good run.

1:30:24 Drew Is that what you're talking about?

1:30:26 Ralph Garman Yeah. So I'm just wondering, because one of my doctors actually mentioned that I might be bipolar.

1:30:33 Drew Yeah. I was going to say, this is something along those lines. I suspect that's what it is.

1:30:38 Adam Did your doctor tell you this after he slept with you?

1:30:42 Ralph Garman I didn't sleep with my doctor.

1:30:43 Caller I try not to sleep with authority figures.

1:30:45 Adam You draw the line somewhere.

1:30:46 Drew Do you have other diagnoses other than bipolar?

1:30:51 Ralph Garman OCD and schizoaffective attributes.

1:30:55 Drew Schizoaffective, not borderline.

1:30:57 Yeah.

1:30:59 Drew That's funny for schizoaffective. So you don't connect well with people. You just do it on a sexual level and that's it?

1:31:05 Ralph Garman Yeah.

1:31:06 Caller Then the problem is, it sounds schizoaffective.

1:31:09 Ralph Garman I'm not completely satisfied even if I have sex five times in a row.

1:31:12 Drew Oh, okay. Well, that sounds like trauma. That's a sexual abuse thing. Really? Is that in your past? Yeah. Okay. Well, that's where that comes from. By the way, you go ahead and volunteer that information early on. You volunteer at the beginning. If you're bipolar with sexual abuse, that's what creates a Victoria. No problem.

1:31:32 Adam Don't just come on saying, oh, I'm a fun party girl.

1:31:34 Drew Yeah.

1:31:35 Adam Danny's in Iraq and I'm treating the troops.

1:31:38 Drew Again, this is that compulsion to re-enact the trauma. And I understand it's highly attractive to you and it's highly gratifying to you, but it ends up getting you stuck in a very destructive cycle. And you're seeing a therapist now?

1:31:52 Ralph Garman Not at the moment, but I have an appointment to meet a new one.

1:31:57 Drew Excellent. And then the psychiatrist, too, going to work on the bipolar thing?

1:32:01 Caller Yeah.

1:32:02 Drew Fantastic. And you will find it easier to contain yourself. At least you have something that a lot of people with your history and your biological makeup, meaning your bipolarity, you have something that a lot of people with those conditions don't have, and that is insight. You knew there was something wrong about this.

1:32:19 Adam It seems pretty self-aware.

1:32:20 Drew Yeah, you're kind of aware of these things, and that means you may be able to kind of do something about it and do the work and do what's requested of you. The hardest thing in working in mental health is, you know, again, what makes me irritated about the fills of the world is that they just sort of say, well, you just got to choose. Just, hey, just choose.

1:32:35 Adam Right.

1:32:36 Drew Getting people to be willing to change is unbelievably complicated and unbelievably difficult.

1:32:44 Adam That must be the real job.

1:32:45 Drew That is the real job.

1:32:46 Adam Getting them to that point.

1:32:47 Drew Getting them to choose to do it. Of course, anyone can choose, hey, I want to. Of course, I'm gonna feel better.

1:32:52 Caller Just put down the heroin.

1:32:54 Drew Right. Just stop doing the smack.

1:32:55 Adam Give me the syringe.

1:32:57 Drew It is so much more complicated than that. Again, that's back to these issues of drives, these drive systems that no one ever talks about.

1:33:03 Adam Right.

1:33:04 Drew Anyway, I'm done pontificating tonight. We're gonna take a break. Ralph Garman's here with me guesting on the show, and we'll be back after this. Well, that's about it for Loveline. Adam is happily, I suppose, filming his Comedy Central show.

1:34:02 Adam Filming a television show.

1:34:04 Drew We are happily having an interesting week ahead. We're having Gavin Rossdale here tomorrow night, Nicole Sullivan from MADtv, Jimmy Kimmel later in the week. It's going to be a very interesting week. And it's a little easier lifting for me and Adam.

1:34:18 Adam A little looser for you.

1:34:19 Drew A little looser. I have to defend myself. It's not quite as scary with all that aggression.

1:34:24 Adam You get to call the shots.

1:34:26 Drew Well, it's nice. But Ralph, thank you.

1:34:30 Adam My pleasure.

1:34:30 Drew They've taken away my notes here. Two for the Money is the name of the movie.

1:34:34 Adam That's the name of the film.

1:34:34 Drew October 7th.

1:34:35 Adam October 7th. From Universal Pictures in a theater near you, Al Pacino, Matthew McConaughey, Renee Russo, Ralph Garman. Ralph Garman. And me in a small featured role.

1:34:44 Drew I appreciate you coming in here and playing along.

1:34:46 Adam Always fun to see you.

1:34:47 Drew Bringing your cast of folks with you. Great.

1:34:50 Adam Next time I'm going to bring Tom Cruise by, I want you and him to debate Ritalin. That should be fun.

1:34:53 Drew Because I'm glib.

1:34:54 Adam You are.

1:34:54 Drew I'm glib.

1:34:55 Adam I've done the research.

1:34:56 Ralph Garman You should too.

1:34:58 Drew It's Loveline. See you tomorrow.

1:34:59 Ralph Garman I love the Negro comedy. It's incredible.

1:35:04 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, August 7, 2005