Episode 1000724338038

0:58 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:05 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:09 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:10 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:14 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:18 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:21 Voiceover That's right, it's Loveline. Phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. This is Dr. Drew. He's Adam Carolla. He'll be calling in tonight and gracing us with his presence, but in his absence, filling his amazing seat here is the great, the one and only, Jimmy Kimmel and the amazing Sarah Silverman.

1:37 Jimmy Kimmel Thank you. Thank you, Dr. Drew. It's good to see you. And wow, what a treat to hear from Adam tonight on the phone.

1:42 Drew I don't need to spend any time with him. We never see this guy anymore.

1:46 Jimmy Kimmel I don't see him that much, actually. He's got his big TV show at Comedy Central. I'm sure he's calling in to plug that.

1:51 Drew Too Late with Adam Carolla, which plays like four times a night, I didn't realize, tonight.

1:55 Jimmy Kimmel It gets later and later and later.

1:56 Everyone listen to me, everyone listen to me, everyone listen to me.

2:00 Drew You better believe it. But then there's one at like 4.30 in the afternoon, then again at like nine, again at like midnight. It's all there. So check your local listing. At least on Satellite, it was airing multiple times.

2:08 Jimmy Kimmel Right. But Adam only wants people to watch the one that's on at 11.30.

2:13 Drew Okay.

2:14 Jimmy Kimmel The others are just gravy. That's all gravy.

2:16 Drew Wherever you're listening to this show, 11.30 Comedy Central, that's when you watch.

2:19 Jimmy Kimmel So let's talk about a couple of things. We're trying to get the phones working here right now.

2:22 Drew Yeah. We have unusual technical problems again.

2:24 Jimmy Kimmel Sarah is in a very funny film, very, very funny film, called The Aristocrats. Sarah's having trouble right now getting her chair up on.

2:31 Jimmy Kimmel It's ridiculous.

2:33 Drew Okay.

2:34 How do you describe what she just did?

2:35 Drew I have a nap. You got it? She mounted the chair.

2:38 Adam The chair will only go up.

2:40 Jimmy Kimmel Sarah is not what you'd call hearty. Moments ago, she had a big problem with her nose. Didn't look like she was going to be able to go on.

2:47 Drew We almost took her to the hospital. I don't know.

2:49 Adam How do you explain it? I don't know, but I know it's something that everyone could understand. I don't know.

2:53 Jimmy Kimmel Well, go ahead and explain it.

2:54 Adam Tim Allen could do it.

2:57 Drew She grabbed her nose and screamed, but didn't just grab it. You pushed up on it, like doing that pig thing. You pushed up on it and screamed.

3:04 Adam It's like a dryness that suddenly, the pain, it's not...

3:10 Jimmy Kimmel It's Jewish.

3:10 Drew Whatever.

3:10 It's not.

3:11 It's not worth talking about.

3:13 Jimmy Kimmel It's not.

3:15 Drew All right.

3:15 Jimmy Kimmel We have everything in order.

3:16 Drew Your relationship, you two, crossed an important threshold on this show. Do you remember that, Sarah?

3:22 Jimmy Kimmel That's right. Anal sex.

3:23 Drew No. Close. That was a different time. That was actually on the show. You entered the fart phase.

3:29 Jimmy Kimmel That is right. We entered what I call the fart era. The golden era of farting. Well, it really ended there actually.

3:37 Drew Oh, it started that evening. It ended, too.

3:39 Jimmy Kimmel Pretty much. I mean, Sarah, I mean, Sarah farts still a lot.

3:42 Adam No, I don't fart at all, Jim.

3:45 Drew But that was not the issue. The issue was Jimmy feeling free to let his fly.

3:48 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah. Well, you know what? In retaliation every once in a while, I will.

3:52 Adam This is what it is. I'll tell you what happened and I'll tell you what is happening.

3:57 Drew Okay.

3:59 Adam I was a guest on the show. You guys said, Hey, did Jimmy fart in front of you? I said, he doesn't. I've never heard him fart.

4:06 Drew I think Adam then said, doesn't he do the Dutch Oven where he throws your head under there and plays?

4:10 Adam Jimmy is so famous with his male community of friends for farting.

4:16 Jimmy Kimmel I consider this an attack on my masculinity.

4:18 Drew Particularly for clearing a bus one time at Universal, I recall.

4:21 Jimmy Kimmel It was a tram. Let's not get crazy.

4:23 Adam Was it a bus? A year later, he overheard someone, a total stranger talking about it.

4:29 Jimmy Kimmel Adam overheard it, yeah.

4:31 Adam Here's the thing. Jimmy was home listening to this horrified, very, very angry.

4:37 Drew Really?

4:38 Adam Very angry. It was a serious.

4:41 Jimmy Kimmel I told her there was a deal that was put in place, and the deal was this. I won't fart on you if you don't tell people that I'm not farting on you.

4:48 Adam He was embarrassed that he wasn't farting.

4:52 Of course.

4:54 Drew How dare you?

4:55 Jimmy Kimmel When she went ahead and humiliated me in front of you and Adam.

5:00 Drew Jimmy, I'm so sorry.

5:01 Jimmy Kimmel Not to mention the audience.

5:02 Drew You need a trip to Vegas.

5:05 Jimmy Kimmel No, I had to fart right on her when she got home. I held her down and I farted right on her face.

5:09 Adam No, you didn't.

5:11 Jimmy Kimmel And then she tried to say the same thing.

5:12 Adam I'm not going to perpetuate this lie, Jim. The only time he does it is he will let it fly behind closed doors, but I do hear it. And I hear him giggling.

5:24 Jimmy Kimmel Tonight you're going to eat it.

5:25 Adam Sometimes you can't decide. You can't differentiate between the farting and the giggling.

5:30 Drew Who's on Jimmy Kimmel tonight? Let's get off this topic. I don't know. You mean 1205, ABC.

5:35 Jimmy Kimmel Tonight we generally run reruns on Thursday nights, but I think, I don't know who's on tonight, but we just did a show. It'll air tomorrow night. It's very confusing, I know, but Jennifer Tilly was on. It wasn't a great show. Don't bother watching.

5:48 Drew And you have the Pamela Anderson roast coming up?

5:51 Jimmy Kimmel That was great. On Sunday night, Comedy Central, the roast of Pamela Anderson. I was the roast master. Sarah was a roaster, and Courtney Love was there. Adam was there. A lot of people were there. It was a crazy, crazy, crazy night. Imagine being on a stage with Courtney Love, Andy Dick, Adam, Sarah, Tommy Lee, Dennis Rodman.

6:16 Drew Oh my God.

6:17 Jimmy Kimmel And who else was there that was a lunatic? I mean, this is really, this is like-

6:22 Drew You know, I would like kept like a team of mental health workers and some police and stuff.

6:26 Jimmy Kimmel It wouldn't have done any good. It really wouldn't have.

6:28 Drew Well, just in case. I mean, at least it kind of contained it a little bit. It was crazy.

6:30 Jimmy Kimmel This is like in the comic books where all the super villains get together to defeat Batman. Like some of the world's most disgusting people gathered on one stage.

6:39 Drew Oh my God.

6:40 Jimmy Kimmel It really was something.

6:41 Drew The clean up guy, the mom.

6:42 Jimmy Kimmel But it was, I mean, Courtney Love was-

6:44 Adam She molested Jimmy.

6:46 Drew And you were sitting right there.

6:47 Adam Yeah, but I mean, I just felt dead because I knew Jimmy was dying.

6:51 Jimmy Kimmel Well, we became very close. We had a nice talk and it's something to see, definitely. It's on Sunday night.

6:58 Drew It's Sunday night. It's Comedy Central also. And then one last thing while we wait for our technical problems to clear up here. I ran into Uncle Frank today.

7:06 Jimmy Kimmel I heard this. Yes.

7:07 Drew Already?

7:08 Jimmy Kimmel He accosted me immediately.

7:09 Drew He accosted you too.

7:10 Jimmy Kimmel You were at the bank, huh?

7:12 Drew No. My show Strictly Sex is produced in that building right there.

7:17 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, I didn't know that.

7:18 Drew I was walking from the parking lot to the...

7:20 Jimmy Kimmel Did you lie to him and tell him you were at the bank?

7:22 Drew No. I was walking past the bank. I know I got the bank into this.

7:27 Jimmy Kimmel Don't ever tell him that you do your show right there or he's going to be there.

7:30 Drew I don't do it there. I sort of put it in the production offices. Yeah, I know. And he again launched into the thing about how he looked for chicks. The whole time he was on the beat as a New York cop. And the reason he was so well thought of by his superiors is that he never fell asleep at work because he was all the way out looking for chicks. And now he slept with one woman a week. For years.

7:49 Jimmy Kimmel For about 20 years.

7:50 Drew And how he and Aunt Chippy are the best and best of friends but he's on the outs right now with her because he spent too much money on your nieces? No wait, your nieces?

8:00 Jimmy Kimmel No, my cousins.

8:01 Drew Your cousins at the wedding.

8:03 Jimmy Kimmel Oh really?

8:03 Drew Oh yeah.

8:04 Jimmy Kimmel Oh she's angry about that. Well Aunt Chippy is my Uncle Frank's, and probably people don't care, but Aunt Chippy and Uncle Frank were married for like 35 years. No couples ever hated each other more than they did throughout. I mean they hated each other.

8:19 Drew Not to hear Frank tell her, oh we were the great, we got a lot of great, but when the kids were gone.

8:23 Jimmy Kimmel Well he's oblivious. I would say she hated him a lot more.

8:27 Drew He was out screwing the whole time, what the hell?

8:28 Jimmy Kimmel Well no, never when he was married. Never, never, never. No, this was when he was a single man. But I will say this, Aunt Chippy is one of the meanest women in the world.

8:39 Drew Really?

8:39 Jimmy Kimmel And when they get together it is hilarious. My cousin Sally used to just tape record them, and we have a tape where imagine this is just an audio tape of sitting at the dinner table and Uncle Frank can't get ketchup to come out of the bottle. And you could just, you could almost hear him shaking the ketchup, Chip, how do you pour this?

8:59 Jimmy Kimmel Frank you gotta shake it.

9:01 Jimmy Kimmel He's shaking. It's not coming out.

9:03 Jimmy Kimmel Frank you gotta shake it. Give me that goddamn thing. Frank, you got the cap on. Frank you gotta open the cap before it'll goddamn pour out.

9:16 Jimmy Kimmel And then she goes into, he's so stupid it's pathetic.

9:19 Jimmy Kimmel He'll never invent the light bulb. He'll never invent the airplane. He's lucky he knows how to ride in one.

9:26 Jimmy Kimmel This is a daily conversation.

9:31 Drew I see where you got your comedic bet.

9:32 It's sad that they broke up.

9:34 Adam No, but we do one last thing, the impression of Aunt Chippy.

9:39 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, Adam's on the line. What do you want me to do?

9:42 Adam Aunt Chippy at the wedding, talking at the wedding.

9:46 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, my Aunt Chippy is a reader at church. Why don't we put Adam on the line while we do this. Adam has seen this actually in action at my sister's wedding.

9:53 Drew Adam? On seven?

9:56 Am I on?

9:57 Drew You're on, how about that?

9:58 Jimmy Kimmel Adam, 40.

10:00 Who Aunt Chippy?

10:02 Jimmy Kimmel Here's Aunt Chippy reading at church. Now, keep in mind again, the meanest woman in the world never had one nice thing to say to her husband in 35 years, reading from the Bible.

10:14 Jimmy Kimmel Love is always patient. Love is always kind. Love never criticizes. Frank, are you listening to me?

10:25 Jimmy Kimmel There's Aunt Chippy.

10:27 Yeah, and that's a, I don't know if you've spoken to Aunt Chippy, Dr. Drew, but that is dead nuts on. You probably saw her on Jimmy's show.

10:35 Drew I did, and she did a whole weekend here of shifts at K-Rock, and then I ran into Uncle Frank today, and he told me how glorious she was and how they've gotten along forever, but just so they'd have as much to share when the kids are gone. They shared everything when the kids were together. Kids were at home, but now it wasn't quite the same thing. They did two different lives. In fact, we hate each other.

10:52 Anyway, Uncle Frank was tapped conversationally by the fifth grade. I don't think there's anything left in him.

11:01 Drew However, he can hold you for 20 minutes.

11:03 Jimmy Kimmel And will physically hold you.

11:04 Drew Yes, yes, he grabs you. He grabs you.

11:06 Yeah.

11:06 Drew How's things going, Adam Brooks?

11:08 Think about the, just think about the correlation between the person that pinches you in your upper arm when they're talking and mental instability.

11:18 Adam You know what he does, and I know he doesn't realize he does this, but at least five other women have concurred with me that while he's talking to you, he pokes you in the boobs.

11:28 Yeah.

11:29 Jimmy Kimmel He doesn't demand end women.

11:31 Adam Yeah, no, no, it's nothing sexual, but it is totally crazy.

11:36 Drew Does he pinch you guys in the arm like he does to men? Yeah.

11:38 Jimmy Kimmel He does a pinching thing. He'll hold you.

11:40 Yeah. Well, he knows if he doesn't come down on you like a bear trap, you'll escape into the wilderness.

11:47 Drew Adam, what's up? You're missed.

11:49 Oh, I'm just coming back from a little TLC shoot.

11:53 Drew Oh my God, Adam.

11:54 Jimmy Kimmel Adam has several television shows now.

11:56 Drew Has this week been hell?

11:57 Yeah, it's been hell, but I'm glad it's done. I was just thinking, I'm going to call and plug my TV show, which got crappy ratings and then got good ratings last night, inexplicably.

12:13 Jimmy Kimmel Oh really?

12:14 Wow. Yeah, I have no idea why. I'm sure it had nothing to do with me.

12:19 Jimmy Kimmel For some reason, we got crappy ratings last night.

12:21 Drew You stole them. Maybe you stole them, Adam.

12:24 Jimmy Kimmel I don't know.

12:24 Yeah, but I'm on at 1130 and Jimmy's on at 1206 on ABC.

12:30 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, and plus we get crappy ratings every night.

12:33 Drew I think on satellites, it's so hard to figure this stuff out now. Come on.

12:37 Yeah, I don't know. The network's always like, we don't pay attention to it. If you don't pay attention to it, you really shouldn't be a network executive because that's how you make your money.

12:47 Drew Right.

12:48 Jimmy Kimmel They're lying when they say they don't pay attention. They never say that when it's going well.

12:52 Drew Right.

12:52 Jimmy Kimmel They never go, you never go, wait, we got a nine share last night. Ah, we're not paying attention to it. It's only when things aren't going great.

13:00 Yeah. Yeah, it's just a coincidence that they want you to change everything when the ratings suck and they don't want you to change anything when the ratings are great. I know you're not paying attention to it, but I just thought I would give my own program a plug and then I'll give Jimmy's a plug too. You can watch me on Comedy Central at 12.30 tonight. I should say 11.30 tonight and then, thanks Jimmy, then you can flip on over and watch Jimmy at 12 and change.

13:27 Jimmy Kimmel And then you can head to the movie theaters and see Sarah and the Aristocrats and then, Dr. Drew, your show is on at like four in the morning, right?

13:34 Drew Because it's midnight against you.

13:35 Jimmy Kimmel Because it's pornographic, right?

13:36 Drew Terribly, terribly so. My show is squeaky clean.

13:40 Jimmy Kimmel It is.

13:40 Drew Yes.

13:41 Jimmy Kimmel Why did they put it on so late?

13:42 Adam Did you see the poster? He's like, he's so sexy in it.

13:46 Jimmy Kimmel I did. One of the best things I've ever seen is a huge billboard of Dr. Drew on a very busy intersection and I immediately called Adam.

13:53 Drew Near where you were.

13:54 Jimmy Kimmel I was joking, laughing. Dr. Drew sprawled out like he's Vendola or something.

14:00 Drew Like Burt Reynolds in the 70s.

14:02 Jimmy Kimmel He's on a couch.

14:06 It's like, it's really, it's better to be partnered up with Jimmy Kimmel than it is for Dr. Drew in terms of the ladies because I'm sorry Jimmy, but women come up to me all the time and tell me crushes they have on Drew and how handsome he is and how much they love him. And it really, it's all I can do to talk them out of it. Let them know the real Drew.

14:34 Jimmy Kimmel They never say that about me?

14:35 No. Drew, you get a lot of mileage too out of being a faithful married man that turns things on too.

14:42 Drew Oh, you know how that is, right? Women, they got, oh, got to break that up.

14:45 Yeah. As soon as they find out you're committed, they want to test your resolve.

14:51 Drew Well, yeah, they want to get her. You know what I mean? I'll show her.

14:54 Jimmy Kimmel Thorn Birds. You know what? You're just, you're prey to these women, Drew. They want you and they won't, they'll stop at nothing to get you.

15:02 Drew But they got, they got to have what they can't have. Oh, yeah.

15:05 Once they found out he was a man of passion, then they really poured it on. All right, so you guys get back to your fantastic radio show. I'm going to be, I'm going to be home listening.

15:18 Drew All right, Too Late with Adam Corolla follows the Daily Show. I think some of the satellite feeds are at different times, too.

15:24 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, you and your satellite.

15:25 Drew Because I've got satellite.

15:26 Jimmy Kimmel People will figure it out. It's on after the Daily Show.

15:29 Drew That's what I'm going to say. Just watch after the Daily Show. So if the Daily Show is on, keep watching. You'll see the Adam Show to follow.

15:35 Jimmy Kimmel All right.

15:36 Drew There you go. All right, buddy. See you on Sunday.

15:38 Adam Too Late with Adam Corolla.

15:40 Drew Too Late for Corolla. Thanks, Adam. All right, let's take some. Good night. All right.

15:46 Jimmy Kimmel Take care, Adam. It's great to talk to Adam again.

15:50 Drew We just talked to him a couple of minutes ago? No.

15:52 Jimmy Kimmel I talked to him yesterday, though. Who do we have on the telephone, Dr.?

15:55 Drew Let's try line three, Lori 18.

15:58 Jimmy Kimmel Very good.

15:59 Adam I really want to help this person.

16:01 Drew Okay.

16:01 Adam Lori.

16:02 Drew Okay, good. Anderson, you got to do the calls for us, buddy. All right. Lori?

16:06 Hi.

16:07 Drew Hey, what's going on there?

16:08 Okay. First of all, is Adam still in the studio?

16:12 Drew No, he was just calling it from the outside. We got the great Jimmy Kimmel and the amazing Sarah Silverman.

16:17 Jimmy Kimmel We can handle anything Adam may possibly have been able to help you with.

16:20 Drew As I did this, I said the great Nicole Sullivan the other night, she goes, it sounds like you're introducing a vaudevillian magician.

16:27 Here we go.

16:27 Drew What's up?

16:30 That's right.

16:31 Sorry. When he comes in the studio, tell him I wanted to play Adam Corolla with him.

16:36 Drew Okay. He's trying to.

16:37 Jimmy Kimmel Adam Corolla.

16:41 Adam Adam doesn't have to be here to play Adam Corolla. Marco Polo doesn't have to be there to play Marco Polo. Laurie Thinke.

16:48 Drew The point is he wants it to sweep well beyond the bounds of his physical domain.

16:53 Jimmy Kimmel Besides though.

16:54 Every pool I'm in, every time I'm in a pool, I play it. I played in Walmart the other day.

16:58 Drew Did you? Was it a plastic pool or something?

17:01 Adam It was in the aisles, right?

17:03 Drew Laurie, what's going on?

17:05 Caller Okay. I just turned 18 and I'm going out with this guy. He's turning 28 in a couple months. Oh. He wants to get married and I want to get married too because I don't want to end up alone when I'm like, I don't want to die alone.

17:18 Adam Oh my God.

17:20 Drew Sarah, let me talk to this young lady. She's a good word. She's going to be an old maid. She's 18.

17:22 Adam Please, please don't get married. If you ever, I don't know why you would just listen to a stranger, me, but if you would, please don't get married. Please don't get married. It would be such a ridiculous mistake. Why do you have to get married? If you're destined to be with him forever, then be with him for 10 more years and then get married. What's the difference?

17:43 Drew And why would you end up alone? Very few people end up alone and you're only 18. You've got a lot of years to sort it out.

17:50 Caller Well, it's like, I go to a Baptist church.

17:52 It's really strict.

17:54 Adam It's lies.

17:56 Caller Well, usually the girls get married by like 21 and are starting to have kids. And if you're like 27 and you're not married, you're considered like an old maid.

18:04 Adam Change crowds. Change crowds.

18:05 Drew Move to a big city.

18:07 Adam Yeah. I know that there are adults around you where it's normal, these things. But they're they're totally if you want a great life with tons of opportunities and to live the most. What do you want to be a mom and then have a kid go, go to a Costco and hang out with some kids? Who just said that the other day?

18:31 Jimmy Kimmel I don't know. How long have you been dating this guy?

18:35 Caller A year and a half now.

18:36 Jimmy Kimmel So he's been dating you since you were 16 years old.

18:39 Caller Yes.

18:40 Jimmy Kimmel And he's in his late 20s. What do you think? I know you think of him as a person, but what would you think about some guy who's in his late 20s that's dating a 16 year old?

18:49 Caller Well, I think he's gross, but it's like a different situation. I don't know.

18:54 Jimmy Kimmel No, it isn't. It really isn't a different situation.

18:56 Drew When you're 28, you look at the guys, your peers around you, you think, oh my God, which of these guys would date a 16 year old? You will flip out. On the other hand, though, let me play devil's advocate for a second, and at least this isn't to 18 year olds. Women are much more flexible and mature than men. I think an 18 year old woman could handle a stable relationship for a long period of time with a guy if the guy was ready for that.

19:19 Adam So have a pre-engagement.

19:21 Drew Correct, and I'm just saying. So there's a flip side of this where it's like, eh, okay, they must do this. But I agree with Sarah that if she really wants to have a decent life, the statistics on married 18 year olds are not good. Let's go to line two, which is John, he is 14. John. What's up, John?

19:36 Caller Nothing much, man. I just want to tell Jimmy something real quick. The man show was way better when you and Adam hosted it, man.

19:42 Caller Well, thank you.

19:44 Drew Sarah is dancing to this music, Anderson, it's amazing, we play that all night. She is doing a two step.

19:51 Every time I look at my vagina, I want to punch somebody.

19:54 Caller Hey.

19:57 Jimmy Kimmel It says here that you are having a testicle problem of some kind.

20:00 Caller Well, when I was 13, I had a testicular torsion.

20:03 Drew If that is the test, it twists on itself and cuts off its own blood supply and starts to die.

20:08 Jimmy Kimmel And then you eat it.

20:09 Drew And that hurts like F.

20:10 Yeah, it does.

20:12 Caller I could barely walk.

20:13 Drew Yes. So what is up now?

20:15 Caller Well, my urologist went in and surgically stitched everything where it wouldn't twist anymore.

20:22 Drew So he saved the test, yeah.

20:23 Caller Yeah. Everything is fine. It is a new movie.

20:26 Drew I just want to come up with that. Saved the test. So, yeah.

20:30 Caller Every once in a while, I will have the same problem.

20:32 Drew Oh, it still twists.

20:34 Caller Well, it twists, but it doesn't hurt as bad as it did, but it will go away.

20:38 Drew Do you see? Well, that's good. Do you see the urologist?

20:40 Caller Yeah.

20:41 Drew What does he say?

20:43 Caller Well, he said he went in and fixed it, but I'm starting to think different.

20:47 Drew Well, no, obviously, he fixed it or otherwise, it would twist and be in trouble. Yeah. At least it's not going all the way. The question is, is there some kind of maneuver you can do that maybe will, as soon as you start to feel it, you can kind of pop it back in position, perhaps. Yeah. All right. Obviously, you can go back in and reposition things. There could be another surgery. Secondly, the urologist can kind of advise you on what you might do mechanically to kind of keep it in place. But it's a common problem, John, and it's an unfortunate one. Let's go now to a line.

21:13 Jimmy Kimmel For him.

21:14 Drew Well, I know, but it's probably not going to go all the way to full torsion where it cuts the blood supply off.

21:19 Jimmy Kimmel If it did, if he held on to it, would his body actually start spinning like when you do with a rubber band on a pencil?

21:25 Drew Of course. Or like a plane propeller in a plane. Exactly. Let's go to line 5. It's Chris, 29. Chris? Sorry. Chris?

21:36 Caller How are you guys doing, man?

21:38 Drew We're good. What's up?

21:39 Caller Long time listener. Great show.

21:40 Drew You're on with Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman.

21:42 Caller Cool. I want to start taking Propecia. It's for Dr. Drew, actually.

21:47 Drew You're balding?

21:47 Caller Yeah.

21:48 Jimmy Kimmel I take that stuff.

21:49 Drew Do you really? Yeah. I mean, you don't...

21:52 Jimmy Kimmel I got a lot of hair on my back.

21:55 Drew Oh, my God.

21:55 Jimmy Kimmel No, I do. Actually, what I do is I get something called ProScar, which Dr. Drew knows is like it's a bigger pill and I cut it up into smaller pills because otherwise your insurance doesn't cover it.

22:06 Drew Propecia is just a small dose of ProScar. Basically, it's an androgen blocker.

22:11 Jimmy Kimmel I have four TV shows. I still need to cheat Medicare.

22:14 Drew What is that?

22:15 I don't know.

22:16 Jimmy Kimmel Well, it must be overpriced. Why would it be more expensive if they come in the individual?

22:25 Drew It's a marketing issue, but it's not so much that it's more expensive that the insurance is not as likely to cover something that's elective like that.

22:30 Jimmy Kimmel Right.

22:31 Drew So basically, you're committing insurance fraud is basically what we're saying.

22:34 Jimmy Kimmel I don't care.

22:36 Drew So what's the question, Chris?

22:37 Caller My question is for Jimmy too, then. Does it work?

22:40 Drew Yeah, it does work.

22:41 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, I take that and then I put Rogaine on my head. And also once a month, I'll actually cover my head in peanut butter. And it actually works pretty well.

22:49 Drew Do you, have you grown hair with this combo?

22:52 Jimmy Kimmel I don't know. It's hard to tell, really, because I can't see back there. And it's not like I photographed it.

22:56 Drew You're trying to deal with this part?

22:58 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, I don't want to go bald back there.

23:01 Drew But just here, because you have plenty of hair up front.

23:03 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, no, it's in the, in that, you know, in the crown of the head is where it's a little bit. Well, it's all paint. My makeup artist paints it in right now.

23:11 Drew Oh, my God.

23:11 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah. She paints it in because I have very black hair. And when the lights go on it, you can see right to my scalp.

23:17 Adam She should just paint the pillows just directly to the pillows.

23:20 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, the pillows turn black.

23:21 Drew I used to laugh at those commercials with the guy with the paints.

23:23 Jimmy Kimmel Don't laugh. I like to get my hands on some of that stuff.

23:26 Adam I put Propecia, I put Rogaine on my lower back actually, and it's really.

23:32 Drew You try to grow hair there.

23:33 Adam Yeah. Well, it was thinning. Now it's, it looks pretty thick.

23:37 Jimmy Kimmel She's got a very nice healthy coat.

23:40 Adam Yeah, shiny.

23:40 Jimmy Kimmel I think it works. And you know what, I'll tell you what, I've noticed a side effect, a positive side effect from it. I used to have to get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, every night, and now I never do. Ever since I started taking it, I never have to go, and I just kind of noticed it.

23:55 Drew It shrinks your prostate, and it decreases your sex drive too though potentially.

23:59 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, well I needed that anyway.

24:00 Drew Good, perfect. Well, what about other side?

24:03 Caller Did it decrease your sex drive, or?

24:05 Jimmy Kimmel I don't know, really, and if it did, it was probably for the best.

24:10 Caller Well, for Dr. Drew then, my last question is, is I have anxiety, and sometimes, I always have Xanax around, right? And I haven't even taken it for like a year, but if I do need to take it, is there any problem with mixing it?

24:22 Drew No, but Xanax, be very careful with it, it's gonna be highly addictive.

24:26 Adam Xanax almost killed me when I was a teenager.

24:28 Caller You know what, to me, it really doesn't do anything it just gives me peace of mind, you know?

24:33 Drew That you have that there in case you have a panic attack?

24:35 Caller Exactly.

24:36 Drew Okay.

24:37 Caller I haven't even taken it for like a year.

24:38 Drew What happened, Sarah?

24:38 Adam Well, did I ever tell you this? Okay.

24:40 Drew No.

24:40 Adam When I was 13, I was sent to a psychiatrist. Yeah. And he said, you know, whenever you get, feel bad, you take one of these Xanax. And he gave me a bottle of Xanax. So the following week, my mom dropped me off for my psychiatrist appointment, and I waited. I never did. I feel like I said this. I waited in the waiting room. I waited and I waited and I waited. And then up, it was like a house, a Victorian house in New Hampshire. And the hypnotist from upstairs, who I also saw once a week for bedwetting, came down.

25:16 Drew You only hang out with Adam as a bedwetter too. Yeah.

25:19 Jimmy Kimmel It's a rule for me.

25:20 Adam He came down all crying. And he said, I won't say the doctor's name, but he said, Dr. Loveline hung himself.

25:29 Drew You're a psychiatrist?

25:30 Adam Yeah, my psychiatrist hung himself.

25:32 Jimmy Kimmel How did Xanax kill you from, how did that?

25:34 Adam No, well, there's more to the story. So then I went to this awful, like, registered nurse whose husband wrote prescriptions and she had put me on ultimately, like in the following, within that year, I was taking four Xanax four times a day. And I was 13, 14 and 15.

25:51 Drew Had he hung himself that moment they just found him while you were in the waiting room kind of thing?

25:55 Adam No, his daughter found him who I the following year went to school with. I never told her.

26:00 Drew This is a case in point for why people get a little freaked out about the medical system is that there are varying degrees of quality of practitioners out there.

26:09 Adam Yeah, there are a lot of bad people.

26:11 Jimmy Kimmel Try not to get a psychiatrist who may hang himself.

26:14 Drew I would agree with that. I would agree with that. But be very careful with whom you have to take care of you.

26:18 Adam Why go to a therapist when you can spend $1,000 an hour on a Scientology counselor who is going to really make your life right?

26:28 Jimmy Kimmel Make you clear.

26:29 Drew Both of you are clear now?

26:30 Caller I think so.

26:32 Drew I thought you were kind of glib. All right, thanks. Thanks, Chris.

26:36 Caller Hey, thank you, guys.

26:37 Drew All right, we got to take a break now. The great Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman are in here tonight. Watch Jimmy Kimmel live tonight when we get off the air and TiVo Adam Show, Too Late with Adam Corolla on Comedy Central 1130. And then go get, when is that, it's out. But when that comes out on DVD, that's gonna be the most amazing rant of all time, I think.

26:57 Adam Yeah, well.

26:57 Drew People are like waiting, because it's so restricted, what theaters it's in, they're packed wherever it's being.

27:03 Adam It's about, it's a lot more theaters tomorrow and then the following Friday.

27:06 Drew So it's gonna be a wider release.

27:07 Adam It's getting wider, wider, wider until it's gonna be like 400 or 500 theaters.

27:11 Drew Okay, Aristocrats. It's mostly, let's talk about after the break exactly what the movie's about. I'm not sure people around the country really know what the premise is.

27:17 Adam You got it, Dr. Drew.

27:18 Drew We'll be right back.

27:19 Adam I love you guys.

27:22 Hello, this is Loveline.

27:24 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

27:26 Loveline will be right back.

27:27 Caller Want to dress up your sex life? Visit durex.com. There's sex and then there's Durex.

27:51 Drew Loveline, I'm Dr. Drew, tonight without Adam, but with Jimmy Kimmel and the amazing Sarah Silverman. And Jimmy, two things to talk about. First, The Aristocrats.

28:00 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, Sarah's in the movie Aristocrats. Now, it's indelicate for Sarah to say how funny it is, but I can say, because I am not in the movie, it is really, it's a very, very funny movie.

28:11 Drew The premise is, it's a documentary about comedians, and basically you all tell the same joke?

28:17 Jimmy Kimmel I've never told this joke, but I've heard it.

28:20 Adam Yeah, I always knew it. I mean, I've known it for, it is a pretty common joke with comics. It's not a joke that you would say on stage. It's, you know how comics...

28:30 Drew But it's gross.

28:32 Jimmy Kimmel It can be. It can be anything. It could even be clean. I mean, the clean way to tell the joke is, this family comes in to see this talent agent. The talent agent is sitting in the room, and the family says, we have an act that we think you're gonna like, and we want you to represent us. And the guy says, all right, well, let's see what you got. And the family then performs, and they do all manner of...

28:57 Adam You know, say the guy says, well, first I come out, I have sex with my wife, then our son comes out, he takes a dump on the stage, we do a tap dance in it, you know.

29:11 Jimmy Kimmel Then the dog comes out.

29:12 Drew This is the clean version, right?

29:13 Yeah, this is the clean version.

29:15 Jimmy Kimmel The dog eats the dump, you know, it dumps on the wife, the wife and the son go out, and it's horrible, and you can go on, it can go on for an hour.

29:23 Adam It's just all improvising, and it's just the worst, the better.

29:26 Jimmy Kimmel Horrible, horrible stuff. And at the end of this filthy, horrible joke, the agent says, that sounds unbelievable, what do you call your act? And then the guy says, the aristocrats.

29:42 Adam And it doesn't give anything away that you know the joke. It's like, you know, when I did the movie, but I didn't know what the whole movie would look like. I just did my part. I mean, I can say it's a very funny movie, because honestly, I'm like two minutes, 70 minutes in. But I thought, geez, a whole movie about this one joke is not gonna, I don't know, I didn't know. It's so funny. It doesn't matter if you like the joke or you think the joke is stupid. It's, they just, it's so funny.

30:11 Jimmy Kimmel And it's the filthiest non-porno ever made.

30:14 Drew And Bob Saget apparently really goes off on it.

30:18 Adam Everyone's filthy. There are all these comics that you've seen in far cleaner context. And it is funny just for the shock value of that. But it's also, I don't know, I hate breaking down comedy because it just ruins it. But it's really good.

30:35 Drew And then Jimmy, Monday Night Football?

30:38 Jimmy Kimmel I think I'm gonna be on the half-time show of Monday Night Football. That has not been approved by the ABC higher-ups yet.

30:43 Drew Is there any chance you'd be doing commentary with them?

30:46 Jimmy Kimmel No, no, no, no, no, no.

30:47 Drew Wouldn't that be like a life dream come true kind of thing?

30:49 Jimmy Kimmel Not really because I know I'd get thrown out of there immediately. I mean, I would laugh. I mean, it would be like one, hey, John Madden, you got barbecue sauce on your nipples joke before I was. I would last probably halfway through the first quarter.

31:02 Drew They let Dennis Miller do it.

31:03 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, and that didn't go so well.

31:05 Drew I'm just saying. All right, let's take some more calls. I'm gonna go to line one. This is Sarah 14. Sarah? Sarah?

31:13 Caller Hello?

31:14 Drew Hi there. What's going on?

31:16 Caller Okay, I have, I need advice.

31:18 Drew Yeah?

31:19 Caller Okay, I'm 14 and I've been seeing this 19 year old guy for about a year and a half. Well, until about...

31:28 Drew 14.

31:30 Adam For a year and a half.

31:31 Drew Oh, since she was... Since she was 17, she was 12.

31:35 Caller And my mom didn't know about it until about a couple of weeks ago. And I found out then that they had been having an affair.

31:46 Drew The mom and the 17 year old.

31:48 Caller For about, I don't know, a couple of years.

31:51 Jimmy Kimmel What do you call your rat?

31:53 Drew The aristocrats.

31:56 Jimmy Kimmel See, that's how it goes.

31:58 Drew Well, this explains why you would choose an a-hole like that. The fact that you were raised in a family system where these kinds of things are okay.

32:04 Caller Well, I don't know, like, about a month ago.

32:06 Drew I can just imagine who your dad was.

32:08 Adam You know what it sounds like? It sounds like a stepfather molesting the daughter.

32:13 Drew Well, that probably is exactly what happened, Sarah.

32:15 Caller Well, about a month ago, I went out and got drunk with these guys.

32:19 Drew 14.

32:19 Caller Fabulous. And one of his friends, he actually went to school with, I didn't know that at the time. And stuff happened with them when I was really, really drunk.

32:29 Drew Beautiful.

32:29 Caller And he took me back, but now after I found out, he wants me to take him back.

32:34 Drew Sarah, let's get back to you. What happened? Were you sexually abused growing up?

32:38 Jimmy Kimmel She is being sexually abused right now.

32:41 Drew No, no. This, I think, is a reenactment of something.

32:44 Adam But the guy who's sleeping with the mother is sleeping with her.

32:47 Drew It's crazy boundaries. It's rape. It's all kinds of things. But it's set up by something. Something else happened earlier.

32:53 Where's your dad?

32:54 Caller He's in Louisiana.

32:56 Drew Why did he leave?

32:57 Caller They're divorced.

32:58 Drew Why?

32:59 Caller He was sent to jail a lot when I was little. Because he would steal things.

33:04 Drew Steal things. But he never did anything to you?

33:06 Caller No.

33:07 Drew Never hit you?

33:07 Caller He never did anything like that.

33:10 Jimmy Kimmel Did anyone?

33:11 Caller No.

33:13 Adam He didn't need to. He left.

33:15 Drew No, I know.

33:15 Adam That's enough.

33:16 Drew It's a lot. But it doesn't create this kind of chaos. There's still more going on, Sarah.

33:21 Caller The guy lives with us, kind of, because I don't know.

33:24 Drew The same guy that's having a thing with your mom that you want to be with or have been with who also thought it was appropriate for his friend to be with you?

33:32 Caller He kind of left my mom for me that I found out about a week ago.

33:38 Drew He what? Watched your mom?

33:40 Caller He left her.

33:41 Drew Left your mom.

33:41 Caller Stopped being with her.

33:42 Drew And then she found out why. All right, Sarah, listen. Stop. Forget it. None of these guys are you to get near under any circumstances. Do you understand me?

33:50 Caller Well, yeah, but he's like...

33:51 Drew Sarah?

33:52 Caller I...

33:53 Drew That's why I want to talk to you about what happened before, because you're not listening. Your judgment is severely impaired. The fact that you even consider being with a guy like this is a horrible thing. So there's something that sets you up, aside from the fact that you have a mom who thinks it's okay to be with a 17-year-old.

34:08 Caller When I told him it would be over, he started crying for like a day and a half, and he threatened suicide.

34:14 Drew I have no doubt he's a sick young man.

34:16 Adam I know it feels good to feel loved, but this is a very, very bad, bad man.

34:23 Jimmy Kimmel Well, I mean, this guy's probably in the same boat that she was in.

34:27 Adam Absolutely.

34:28 Jimmy Kimmel Sounds like mom is not such a great person.

34:31 Caller He was like abandoned when she was a kid.

34:33 Drew Oh, sure, of course. So do you. Is your mom an alcoholic or something? No. Why do I smell a drug out of here?

34:41 Adam Is she in the house right now?

34:42 Caller I farted. He got mad at her and hit his fist. And so they went to the hospital to see if he broke anything.

34:48 Adam That's what happened right now.

34:49 That's where they are right now.

34:50 Caller Because she told him that she was going to kick him out and that she couldn't live with him anymore in our house.

34:56 Jimmy Kimmel And he punched the wall.

34:56 Drew Physically assaulted.

34:57 Caller And he punched, yeah, the wall outside.

35:01 Jimmy Kimmel And what do you think you should do about it?

35:02 Adam I'm losing teeth just listening to this.

35:04 Jimmy Kimmel What do you think you should do about this?

35:07 Caller I don't know.

35:07 Drew That's why I'm.

35:09 Adam What would your guess be?

35:11 Caller Well, leave him. But it's...

35:14 Drew It's hard. He's living in the house now.

35:16 Caller I care about him and everything.

35:18 Drew Oh, Sarah, no, please. You're 14. Oh, please, dear God. Really, this is like a job for the Department of Social Services to kind of sort this out and pull this apart. Maybe place that boy somewhere.

35:27 Jimmy Kimmel Do you have any friends that have normal, good parents?

35:31 Caller Um, I mean, I do, but I really haven't. Um, I'm not really close to them, kind of.

35:36 Drew Maybe the very minimum. Get close to them and spend more time away from this trailer.

35:41 Caller Well, I went to school with them for like eight years, so. What?

35:46 Drew All right, Sarah, you gotta then throw yourself in the mercy of the system.

35:50 Jimmy Kimmel Do you have a teacher that you trust that you could talk to?

35:53 Caller Well, I've been talking to my best friend, but her mom's are like drug addicts, stuff, you know? But I've been talking to her and-

36:00 Jimmy Kimmel Is there an adult that you can trust that you can speak to about this?

36:04 Caller No, not really. I'm not supposed to talk to anyone about this, so.

36:06 Jimmy Kimmel Who said you're not supposed to talk to anyone about it?

36:09 Caller My mom and my-

36:10 Drew No, no. No, no. You've got to tell somebody. You need help. You really do. You need a social worker or somebody to help you with this.

36:17 Jimmy Kimmel Your mom's not going to get in trouble. I mean, your mom-

36:20 Drew Well, she could because she would sleep with a 17-year-old.

36:22 Jimmy Kimmel Well, he's 19 years old now, though. I mean, but, you know-

36:25 Drew And he's sleeping with a 14-year-old, and that could get him in trouble.

36:28 Adam Listen, you don't worry about anybody but yourself. You've got to take care of yourself, sadly. Sadly, you don't have adults around you that are taking care of you.

36:36 Drew Do not get pregnant, Sarah. Do not get pregnant.

36:40 Caller Oh, it just kind of kills me there because he cries.

36:43 Drew It's not that- Listen, yes, he's a sick man, but that's not your responsibility. How does he support himself?

36:49 Caller He has a job.

36:50 Drew As what?

36:51 Caller He's a dispatcher.

36:54 Drew For the police or something?

36:54 Caller Yeah.

36:55 Drew For the police?

36:56 Caller Yeah.

36:57 Caller Oh, God.

37:00 Jimmy Kimmel Well, you have to find an adult to talk to you about this and you're about to go back into school?

37:07 Caller Yeah.

37:08 Jimmy Kimmel All right. We'll go to your guidance counselor.

37:10 Drew Yeah. And or call the Department of Social Services or Child Protective Services, that sort of thing. Sarah, there's nothing we can tell you here that's going to be helpful.

37:18 Caller Well, I was like, should I leave him or?

37:21 Drew Yes, yes, yes. Period.

37:23 Jimmy Kimmel Leave him. Let your mom kick him out of the house.

37:24 Drew Yes. You need to be away from this guy. Stop it. Forget all the, listen, you're 14. You're asking some people who have some experience and some training. The guy needs to be out of your house.

37:35 Adam He cries because he knows, even if he doesn't know it in the front of his head, he's crying because that's how he manipulates you to do what he needs.

37:46 Drew One of the things that happens with the Sarahs of the world is that they believe they have a special understanding of these guys and they can see the poor little boy inside. No, he's a 19-year-old male perpetrator. That's who he is, who just beat the crap out of the walls of your apartment. It's it. That's it.

38:00 Adam Making her feel special goes a long way.

38:01 Caller He's not going to kill himself either.

38:03 Jimmy Kimmel People that punch walls, they do it on purpose. They know exactly what they're doing.

38:08 Drew Let's go to number line 6, Casey, who's 18.

38:10 Caller She's so heartbreaking.

38:12 Drew Casey.

38:14 Actually, it's Cassie.

38:16 Drew Cassie, I beg you. What's going on?

38:19 I figured, at least you didn't call me Cassie. I get that a lot.

38:23 Drew All right, Casey, what's going on?

38:25 Well, I've got, I guess, two questions. I guess I've got two questions. One of them is I just got, I just stopped taking DEPO, which made me sad because it's wonderful because I never had a period.

38:43 Drew Why'd you stop taking it?

38:45 Because I'm a cow. I gained like 30 pounds on it.

38:48 Drew Really? That is a side effect, but most, that's not the usual side effect that I see.

38:53 Adam Take Yasmin.

38:55 Jimmy Kimmel Belief?

38:57 Well, and what I wanted to know is I kind of wanted to get away from the chemical kind of hormone birth control, and I wanted to know about the IUD. I just remember from class and stuff that some of it can cause scarring.

39:15 Drew Well, that's the concern that historically has been at issue, is that back in the days of the Dalcon Shield, you had a Dalcon Shield?

39:22 Adam No, I got an IUD last year, and I was in-

39:26 Jimmy Kimmel Pain all the time..08 blood alcohol. Oh no, it was a DUI.

39:31 Adam I was in ball on the floor pain for six months until I got it taken out. I thought maybe if I waited, it would subside.

39:41 Drew All the time or just during your period?

39:43 Adam No, all the time.

39:45 Drew Pain and bleeding is the main side effect of the IUD. Historically, I was concerned about bleeding and infertility. They've got that problem pretty well taken care of, but I'm somebody who was in training when a lot of stuff was going on and I see all kinds of horrible problems. I still have an emotional bias against the IUD, but it looks like a good choice for some women.

40:05 Adam I have a friend who has it, who's had it in for nine years, never felt it, doesn't even know it's there. Doesn't even know it's there?

40:15 I could either be falling on the floor in pain or be perfectly fine.

40:19 Drew But you could always try it and take it out. When they took it out, it was fine, right?

40:22 Adam That day, it was better.

40:24 Drew Ace, your uterus was always trying to reject it.

40:26 Adam I can't believe I waited that long.

40:29 I know some of the concerns are that it's hard to...

40:31 Drew You just can't remember to take a pill every day? How about a patch?

40:33 Are you kidding me? I barely shower every day. There's no way I can... I'm lucky if I find my toothbrush.

40:39 Drew I'm glad you're thinking about these things ahead, then that's good. Please don't get pregnant. We got to take a break right now, right?

40:44 Okay. Real quick, can I ask you another question?

40:47 Drew Yeah.

40:47 Now.

40:48 Drew Yeah, quick.

40:49 Real quick. Well, this is just something... I don't know. I've listened to you guys for so long, and I've always wanted to ask you about this. I've never been able to masturbate. I know that's really weird, but I've never been able to figure it out.

41:02 Jimmy Kimmel You've got to use your hands, number one.

41:03 Drew A lot of women feel that way, especially you. How old are you?

41:07 I'm 18.

41:08 Drew Yeah, at 18.

41:10 The only way I can have an orgasm is during intercourse.

41:14 Drew Yeah. Do you have multiple orgasms?

41:20 I don't know.

41:21 Adam Sounds like you're just having one right now.

41:22 Drew Do you have one right after the other, or do you just have one?

41:27 I guess sometimes I could have more than one.

41:29 Jimmy Kimmel Try sitting on an apple.

41:32 Drew Is it a vibrating apple?

41:33 Jimmy Kimmel No, it's just an apple.

41:35 Drew We'll talk about you when we get back from the break. There's a lot to talk about.

41:38 Jimmy Kimmel We're going to help you masturbate.

41:40 Drew So hold on, okay?

41:41 Caller Okay, thanks.

41:42 Jimmy Kimmel Dr. Drew's going to help you masturbate.

41:43 Adam Jimmy's going to talk dirty to you.

41:45 Drew In just a second.

41:46 Caller All right.

41:54 Caller Love Line is brought to you by the American Legacy Foundation's Truth Campaign. Truth promoting well-informed decisions since 1990.

42:23 Drew Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, we're here with Jimmy Kimmel, Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Midnight 1205, Sarah Silverman, Aristocrats, Adam Corolla, Too Late, 1130, Comedy Central, Jimmy on ABC, and we are talking to Cassie, who Sarah was gonna teach something about masturbation.

42:42 Adam I was?

42:43 Jimmy Kimmel You were?

42:44 Drew Yeah.

42:44 Jimmy Kimmel Cassie, you say you've never been able to masturbate.

42:51 Adam What do you mean, you can't find the time?

42:54 No, it's arousing, but I've never been able to climax.

42:59 Drew Here's what tends to happen under the age of 22 to women, very commonly, is that the whole, there's no drive to orgasm that there is with men from testosterone very often. Think about women, listen, what makes women a woman is two large chromosomes.

43:14 Jimmy Kimmel Called the vaginas.

43:15 Drew The X chromosomes that makes the vaginas, or allows for the vaginas, put it that way. The testosterone makes the testes and the penis. But having two large X chromosomes, there's tremendous diversity of genetic material in those X chromosomes. So women to women, women are very different biologically, genetically. What makes you and I men, Jimmy, is this little piece of information called the Y chromosome, that's actually decaying as time goes along. It is? Yeah, we're actually- Interesting. It's very limited amount of information, it's all the same. So what makes us male is very similar, what makes a woman a woman can be quite diverse. So things like orgasmic function has a genetic basis to it. Some women can have multiple orgasms, they tend to not lack oral sex and have the orgasms only with intercourse. There's an intermediate zone that has one, maybe more with intercourse. There's a group that has oral sex and intercourse orgasm, but less reliably with intercourse, and there's about 50 percent of women that never have orgasm.

44:14 Adam This is the most boring sex talk I've ever heard.

44:16 Drew Never have orgasm with intercourse, 50 percent.

44:19 Adam Well, she has an orgasm with intercourse. So let me ask you this. When you try to masturbate, I know it would make sense to use something that goes inside you since intercourse is what gives you orgasms. Is that what you do?

44:34 I have before. It's just, I don't know, the only time that I just feel like I've been dating the same guy for about-

44:43 Drew Hang on. Stop with the guy thing. See, unless they have, many women under 22, masturbation sort of doesn't make sense. If they're not having an experience of intimacy with it, the sexual arousal doesn't progress in that trajectory.

44:55 That's a common thing.

44:56 Drew I've been interested in it.

44:57 I just find myself very frustrated.

45:00 Drew It won't hook up. They have to have that whole experience.

45:02 Adam Because you don't have to masturbate if you don't want to, but you want to and you can't? No.

45:11 It's usually kind of what starts the whole thing rolling.

45:15 Drew Starts what whole thing rolling?

45:19 Well, I don't know. I don't know if I disconnect it. Well, that's just foreplay.

45:24 Drew Well, let's put it this way. It's probably going to happen, more likely to happen when you're over about 25 or so. As you get older, the probability of you being able to achieve orgasm with masturbation goes up.

45:33 Adam Isn't it too bad because it's so much hotter to think of a girl who's like 20 masturbating than the realism of like probably a woman who's like 45?

45:44 Jimmy Kimmel Well, I suggest you go on amazon.com and purchase my new video, Finger It Up. I think you'll find it very useful.

45:52 No, I just find it very limiting because I love being with my boyfriend.

45:59 Drew Yeah. Listen, be with your boyfriend.

46:01 Adam What's your nationality?

46:04 I'm American. I'm white. I don't know.

46:06 Drew You're Caucasian.

46:07 Jimmy Kimmel You don't know what your nationality is?

46:09 Well, I'm American. I guess I'm white.

46:12 Drew Where are your ancestors from?

46:14 Caller Oh, I guess Ireland.

46:16 Jimmy Kimmel She's American like cheese.

46:17 Drew Ireland. Ireland.

46:18 Adam Yeah.

46:19 Drew You have to ask them always, where are your ancestors from?

46:21 Adam Do you have like almost no hair on your arms?

46:25 It's blonde.

46:28 Drew You think of low testosterone, which is true. Women are highly estrogenized. But again, still that orgasmic function is more complex than just that. It has a high degree of genetic basis to it. What they ruse on women these days is all the magazines tell them, well, this is how you're going to do this. Women are very different and they're different at different stages and different ages in their life. There's quite a diversity of experience there. A lot of women feel flawed because they don't live up to the Cosmo standard. Well, there's all these different ways of doing things.

46:53 Jimmy Kimmel I don't think it would hurt to sit on an apple.

46:55 Drew Or to buy Jimmy's video.

46:58 Adam Or like a water bottle.

47:01 This sounds really stupid, but I feel so much better. Because I did, I just felt like there was something wrong with me.

47:06 Drew No, that's the point. This is what drives me crazy. I've talked to lots of women. Thank Cassie for your call. They feel flawed and they're not. It's normal for them. It's normal as a female. It has nothing to do with living up to the standard of a 17-year-old male, which is a different biology. We have to take a break. We're here with Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel. The number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. And we'll be back on Sunday. In the meantime, Jimmy and Sarah are filling his prodigious shoes. We'll be right back. All right, guys, here's the deal.

47:32 Caller Look in the hookup, call the Dateline.

47:34 Caller Stick a waist in time with the wrong person.

47:35 Drew Call the Dateline.

47:36 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:38 Call the Dateline.

47:39 Jimmy Kimmel 1-877-889.

47:44 Caller If you need help, call Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:21 Drew That's right, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. We're talking about apples, vibrating apples, and aristocrats, and Jimmy Kimmel live. What do you got there? No?

48:31 Jimmy Kimmel No. I don't know what it is. I really have no idea.

48:34 Adam It was in my purse.

48:35 Jimmy Kimmel I wasn't going to read it.

48:38 Drew Let's take calls. Oh, let's do Germany or Florida.

48:42 Jimmy Kimmel You want to do that?

48:43 Drew You guys seem tired.

48:44 Jimmy Kimmel Germany and Florida is one of those things that someone pitched at my show and I said, not really interested, and Adam fell in love with it.

48:53 Drew Totally in love with it.

48:54 Jimmy Kimmel And now it's become, okay, well, somebody has a story?

48:56 Drew It's a part of the show. Basically, at Jimmy's show, I guess somebody realized that all the weird stories in the world, if something truly macabre and particularly sort of twisted is happening, the story comes from either Germany or Florida.

49:08 Jimmy Kimmel Right.

49:09 Drew And then we have a few people who have sung theme songs.

49:11 Adam Yeah, I know, I love the theme songs.

49:13 Drew David Allen Grier has more. He's got a couple of them. Here he is. If we don't air this, I get nasty e-mails from him. I will, yeah.

49:19 Caller Is it Germany or Florida?

49:26 Caller Hey!

49:29 Caller Germany or Florida? Let's find out.

49:40 Jimmy Kimmel It's catchy.

49:42 Drew Here we go. This is Ted 20.

49:44 Hey, everybody.

49:44 What's up?

49:46 I've been using this killing over a video game system. Authorities have arrested and charged four people in the killings of six people in a rental home. The murder was organized by a man who was angry because he believed his video game system and some clothes had been stolen. All are charged with first-degree murder and armed burglary. The four killers armed with aluminum baseball bats forced their way into the home where the victims were in beds early Friday morning and beat them to death, just as planned. The victims, four men and two women, also sustained knife wounds, but autopsies showed the blunt force trauma from the bats killed them. The victims had no chance to arm themselves or fight back. There was no way they could really defend themselves.

50:26 Jimmy Kimmel Well, here's why this is a problem because you think, well, obviously it's Germany because we would have heard this story if this happened, but they don't play baseball in Germany.

50:35 Drew Not with metal bats especially.

50:37 Jimmy Kimmel Well, I think they would play with metal bats if the kids played little league, but I don't think there's much baseball at all there. I'm going to guess, I don't think this happened in the United States because I know everything that goes on in the news, and if this happened.

50:51 Drew This is kind of weird stuff. A lot of weird stuff happens in Florida and never makes it across the country though.

50:55 Jimmy Kimmel Maybe it got caught up in the swamp.

50:57 Adam Maybe he just read it online or something.

51:00 Drew You had the day off today. Maybe it happened today.

51:02 Jimmy Kimmel No, I worked today. I'm going to say Germany and I'm going to guess that baseball bat was some translation from some weird German sport, like a Jew slugging or something like that.

51:14 Drew Sarah, Germany or Florida?

51:16 Adam I'm going to take Florida as my first instinct.

51:18 Drew I'm going to go to Florida too. All right, what do you got there?

51:20 Well, you guys are right. It's Deltona, Florida.

51:22 Drew Deltona? Really? Interesting.

51:26 Jimmy Kimmel I think there is a Deltona. Is it Deltona?

51:28 Yeah, D-E-L-T-O-N-A.

51:30 Drew There you go. I did not hear that. Good one.

51:32 Jimmy Kimmel Well done. You think a massacre like that would make the news?

51:34 Adam When did it happen?

51:37 Jimmy Kimmel When was it reported? I'll talk to you later.

51:41 Drew Let's talk to John on line 5. He's 25. John?

51:44 Caller Hey. Hey, what's going on? Well, I got this question. I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's like 21 and we kind of frequently have sex. And for some reason, every time I try to go down on her, she never lets me go down there. Like she pulls me up and I know, I'm pretty sure she's not having like the orgasm during the-

52:07 Drew Intercourse.

52:08 Caller Intercourse, yeah. So I'm kind of wondering like what's up with her?

52:12 Drew What do you guys think?

52:13 Adam She probably has teeth down there.

52:15 Drew Teeth? Vangina dentata. Interesting.

52:17 Jimmy Kimmel She probably is worried that she smells down there and doesn't want you down there.

52:22 Caller Well, like there are a couple of times I have been down there, I didn't smell anything.

52:26 Drew Here's what tends to happen. How long you guys been going out?

52:30 Caller About six or seven months now.

52:32 Drew Some women feel as though that is a level of intimacy that they have trouble sort of getting to, either at all or certainly early in a relationship. That's kind of like super intimate experience and sort of giving herself up in an orgasm and particularly having one generated that way is sort of overwhelming. They also feel uncomfortable about how they look, how they smell, and they just, it's just hard for them. I think you might have a conversation with her about it, but not in the midst of action, but just some time when you guys are kind of talking about how much you'd like to do that for her and that reassure her that there's no problem, well.

53:05 Jimmy Kimmel Or just hold your nose and go on, go on in.

53:07 Drew No more problem than any other situation like that. You know what I'm saying? I think that'll kind of reassure her.

53:14 Jimmy Kimmel Or just count your lucky stars.

53:16 Drew Okay, Adam.

53:17 Adam How dare you?

53:18 Caller Okay, Adam.

53:20 Drew The question would be, does she have a sister? Yeah.

53:25 All right. Okay.

53:26 Jimmy Kimmel Seems like not something you want to worry about though, right?

53:28 Adam Thank your lucky stars. I'm right here.

53:32 Caller I'm sorry.

53:35 Jimmy Kimmel All right, who's next?

53:36 Drew All right, this is Charlotte21, she's on line four. Charlotte? Charlotte, line four. Hey, what's going on? This technical thing is not good. I, by the way, don't have any other calls here. Somebody's got to get me more calls. I'll go on the other end. Hello? What's up, Charlotte?

53:52 Caller Hi, okay, so my question is that when I was like 18 or 19, I'm 21 now, when I was 18 or 19, I had a boyfriend, I was having sex, everything was fine, and I went to college, and I kind of developed an eating disorder, and I had for about a year, I was anorexic, and I'm recovered now, I have been for like eight or nine months, but I feel like my sex drive is really low, like it was really low while I was in the midst of it.

54:21 Drew And by the way, when you're starving, the first thing that gets conserved is reproduction, because your body is going into survival mode.

54:28 Caller Yeah, I'm still not having regular periods, either.

54:30 Drew Right, and that's one of the real problems with anorexia, it can cause premature ovarian failure, it can cause what's called oligomeria, where you don't cycle normally, it kind of causes an ovarian shutdown, and you might want to see a gynecologist, or even an endocrinological gynecologist, somebody who specializes in female endocrinology, because sometimes you think you...

54:48 Caller I just saw someone, and she gave me Prevara, I think.

54:52 Drew She's doing a test to see how your system's working, basically.

54:55 Caller Yeah, and so I took it, and I took it for seven, for ten days, and she said, then wait seven days, and you'll get a period, and I didn't.

55:02 Drew Okay, then you need to go back to her. Okay. She'll probably add semesters in next time.

55:06 Jimmy Kimmel You should go to a man doctor, because women doctors, they get, it's easier, right, for them to get their doctor ship, right?

55:12 Drew Oh yeah, of course. They give them a break.

55:14 Jimmy Kimmel It's like Asian comics, they get every break because it's so rare.

55:17 Drew Right. And they want to be nice to them and stuff, especially when they're going to gynecology, when the training is cut in half because they figure already, you know, you know something.

55:23 Jimmy Kimmel A real man doctor and you'll be in better hands.

55:26 Drew No. Charlotte.

55:28 Adam Yeah, it's so much harder for a man.

55:29 Drew It really is kind of a serious issue because if you do have low estrogen, it can predispose you to softening of the bone. It's a multiplicity of problems that come off these endocrine shutdowns associated with anorexia. You can get osteoporosis from that too but not so likely.

55:44 Caller If I go on estrogen, will that help the sex drive thing?

55:47 Drew It may well. If your ovaries are shut down, you got to remember that not only do they produce estrogen and progesterone, but they also produce testosterone. While estrogen and progesterone may make you feel arousal and receptive, you may not have the drive without a little bit of testosterone too. It's again why you may want to see somebody with endocrinological training in the female reproduction. Okay?

56:07 Okay.

56:08 Drew All right. But stay with your eating program because you know it's a chronic illness that can recur, and already you're suffering rather serious medical issues. So watch out, all right?

56:17 All right. Thank you.

56:17 Drew All right. Good luck. Let's go to line six. Shannon, who is 19. Shannon, line six. Thank you.

56:27 Jimmy Kimmel What about it?

56:29 Drew What's up, Shannon?

56:30 Hey, how are you?

56:31 Drew We're good.

56:33 Okay, so me and my husband, we've tried anal sex before.

56:38 Drew 19. How old's your husband?

56:40 Caller He's 19.

56:42 Jimmy Kimmel How long have you guys been married?

56:44 Since we were 18.

56:46 Drew Wow. Sarah is so aversive to that. She cringes.

56:50 Adam Why? Why can't you just go out for a few years? You're such a rush.

56:55 Jimmy Kimmel They needed place settings.

56:56 We actually listened to that one earlier where you guys were talking to that girl. We actually, the reason we had to rush it, because we were going to probably wait, but we had to rush it just because he was in the military, so we had to get married so that I could go live with him.

57:11 Drew There, Sarah.

57:12 You see?

57:13 Adam That is a good reason.

57:15 Drew There are reasons. What's going on?

57:16 We wouldn't be able to be together. Well, we've tried to anal sex in the past and we had to stop because it was just way too painful.

57:24 Adam For him?

57:24 Jimmy Kimmel For him or you?

57:27 Adam For me.

57:27 Drew You guys are cute.

57:29 It's not like way too bad and so he wants to try it again and I'm fully open for it, too. Yeah, I'm willing to try whatever.

57:36 Drew Really at 19, thank you. You're already so bored with regular sex. It's been too long now that you have to start trying the kinky stuff. Really? How interesting. Intriguing.

57:46 Adam Start doing anal sex in two months. You'll need, like, midgets and, you know, I mean.

57:50 Drew Yeah, dwarfs and stuff. And look, is it his idea or yours?

57:56 It's actually both. We've tried it in the past.

57:58 Jimmy Kimmel They had a meeting.

57:59 Drew Yeah, but Shannon, I would have been flying the wall in that meeting. But Shannon, look, it hurts you. I would imagine your sort of contribution to that meeting would be, now, honey, this is a painful thing to me. Let's not do that.

58:10 Well, I wanted to know if there was a way to make it not.

58:13 Drew But why? Why are you so interested?

58:15 Why?

58:16 Drew Why? It's painful for you.

58:17 Jimmy Kimmel Why do men climb Mount Everest? Why do we go to the moon?

58:20 Drew That's different. That's why he wants to do it. What you're going to find out with her is that it's because he wants to climb Mount Everest that she's willing to go through the pain.

58:27 Jimmy Kimmel Right.

58:27 Drew And I'm saying that's not necessary.

58:30 Adam There's nothing wrong with going through a little bit of pain for a loved one. Sure.

58:35 Drew But here's the deal.

58:36 Adam Do you realize this? Duty comes out of there.

58:40 Drew Well, forget the duty. What comes out, listen, when she's 75, your rectum can come out of there. You can prolapse your rectum. You can get fissures and periodal abscesses.

58:50 Jimmy Kimmel Can I talk to you outside for a second?

58:51 Drew Outside.

58:52 Jimmy Kimmel Can we stay here another night? Take it easy.

58:56 Drew So I don't want to discourage you, Sarah. I mean, Shannon.

59:03 Adam I don't do that.

59:04 I'm Jewish.

59:07 I just figured I'd try whatever because he has a property.

59:09 Drew Hang on a second, Shannon. There is a segment in the Torah where they explicitly mention this.

59:15 Jimmy Kimmel Now, Shannon, is your husband there with you?

59:18 Yeah, he is.

59:20 Jimmy Kimmel Let's talk to him for a second.

59:21 Drew Put him on the phone.

59:23 Ooh.

59:25 Caller Hello.

59:26 Drew What's your name?

59:28 Hey, I'm Ray.

59:29 Drew Ray, what part of the military are you working for?

59:31 What was that?

59:32 Drew What limb of the military are you working for?

59:34 Adam Anal Marines.

59:35 I'm in the Marine Corps.

59:36 Drew There you go. See?

59:38 Jimmy Kimmel Now, Ray, I'm trying to help you here, but these two anti-anal activists seem to be talking about when your wife's 75 rectum is going to fall out.

59:47 Yeah, that wouldn't be any good.

59:49 Drew Well, the point is that's an area that already has tons of pathology associated with it. I mean, there are doctor-surgeons that specialize in that area because there's enough stuff that goes on.

59:57 Jimmy Kimmel You want them to starve? Their children have to go to college?

1:00:00 Adam Oh, my God. You have a problem.

1:00:02 Drew We need that dag drop right about now, Anderson, who's screening. No, not that one, although that one is okay.

1:00:11 Adam I think it's great if you're into it, but if it-

1:00:13 Drew Right, if it hurts you, the reason your body gives you those messages, because you are damaging, you are traumatizing an area of your body, and believe me, there are tons of things that can go wrong.

1:00:22 Jimmy Kimmel Regular sex hurts the first time too, doesn't it?

1:00:24 Drew No, yes, it does.

1:00:25 Adam Hurts so good.

1:00:27 Drew Is there a story there? What'd I say?

1:00:29 Jimmy Kimmel What'd I say?

1:00:30 Caller What I said, I got feelings for you.

1:00:32 Jimmy Kimmel Can I prolapse your anus?

1:00:36 Drew It's a good question. So anyway, so Ray, it's something you want to do, right?

1:00:41 Yeah, it's just something we wanted to try.

1:00:42 Drew No, no, forget the we. Forget the we.

1:00:44 Adam He means the royal way.

1:00:46 Drew Oh my God.

1:00:47 Jimmy Kimmel It's possible that she wants to try it though, isn't it?

1:00:49 Drew Yes, it is, and she did, and it hurt her, and now she should be sort of assessing it.

1:00:52 Jimmy Kimmel Well, they didn't do it right.

1:00:54 Drew Well, that's what their question is, but the reality is for most of them, that it is out and traumatizing and difficult. Some women like it and actually can own an orgasm that way. There are those people, and that's fine if that was her. But Ray, why is this so intriguing to you? That's the part that I find so interesting.

1:01:07 Caller Because she's a man.

1:01:09 I've said that I gave him really good orgasm, and I liked it a lot, and we were just wondering if there was something we were doing wrong.

1:01:16 Drew Wait, wait, wait, wait. Say that again. What was that now?

1:01:19 When we had friends that had done it before, and that they've had really strong orgasms from it, we were just wondering if maybe we were doing something wrong, or there was a meeting.

1:01:28 Drew The wrong thing is your girlfriend is not configured for that experience.

1:01:33 Jimmy Kimmel It's his wife, first of all, and secondly, you don't know that. You guys tried it one time?

1:01:37 Drew No. Listen, I've talked to the women that like the experience. When they like it, they like it right away. It's a good thing right off the top.

1:01:44 Jimmy Kimmel Have you used the, I can't believe it's not butter spray?

1:01:48 No, we haven't tried that.

1:01:49 Jimmy Kimmel They say that's the best. Try that and then call back.

1:01:52 Drew All right. Listen, Ray, it's great that you guys are into each other. It's great that you want to experiment stuff. But generally speaking, a good rule of thumb is that things that hurt are things to be avoided. Whatever. You can start with that.

1:02:04 Adam I mean, can you have an orgasm knowing that she's like, ah?

1:02:08 Drew Oh, Sarah, please.

1:02:10 Adam What?

1:02:10 Jimmy Kimmel Even more so.

1:02:12 Drew That's a male.

1:02:13 Adam Oh, my God.

1:02:15 Jimmy Kimmel It's a joke. And that's not true. And you and your boyfriend Adam are a couple of homos. I have news for you.

1:02:21 Adam Talk about homos. What kind of straight man likes when there's a perfectly good vagina there?

1:02:28 Jimmy Kimmel I hear you guys bad mouthing anal sex all the time. The fact of the matter is this. The body is a wonderland. We learned that from the song. There are all sorts of things that go on.

1:02:38 Drew I'm genuinely curious why it's so appealing to you.

1:02:42 Jimmy Kimmel Because you're genuinely curious. Remember the first time you masturbated? How wonderful it was? And then you figured out, oh, if I use some sort of a lubricant, it works even better. And then you moved on to... It's the spirit of adventure. It's what made this country the greatest country in the world.

1:03:02 Jimmy Kimmel I know. We could have just stayed on the East Coast.

1:03:04 Jimmy Kimmel We didn't have to move west.

1:03:06 Jimmy Kimmel We didn't have to clean this country out of the Indians.

1:03:09 Adam He does have a point, Dr. Drew.

1:03:10 Drew The anal frontier needed to be crossed.

1:03:12 Adam Hey, I have two points to make. One, almost all the gay men I know don't even like it. They don't like it.

1:03:20 Drew They do mutual oral or mutual masturbation.

1:03:22 Adam Two, I told you that I would let you do that to me on our 50th anniversary.

1:03:28 Drew Wedding or 50th date?

1:03:30 Adam Well, I'm not into marriage, but let's just say of being together. Of being together. That's even less.

1:03:35 Drew If the years have been together, then you will prolapse your anus. Then that will happen.

1:03:40 Caller I won't be able to get an erection, man.

1:03:41 Jimmy Kimmel Don't worry.

1:03:43 Adam We'll do it with Annette.

1:03:45 Who's she?

1:03:46 Drew Annette.

1:03:47 That's interesting.

1:03:49 Jimmy Kimmel Ray, you know what? You guys will figure it out.

1:03:52 Drew God bless you.

1:03:53 Jimmy Kimmel Where there's a will, there's a way.

1:03:54 Adam The only thing you can do is do it, and when she prolapses her anus, you can actually do it just to the anus without her even being hung.

1:04:03 Drew Should that happen, Ray, this is what Sarah's people call a mitzvah. So there you go. What are you going to say? Let's go to line one. This is Michael 26 from, of all places, Bakerfield. Michael.

1:04:14 Caller Hey, Sarah.

1:04:15 Caller I thought you were handing out one of the funniest segments on The Aristocrats.

1:04:19 Drew Ah.

1:04:20 Adam Thank you.

1:04:20 Drew I've heard you are really funny on it.

1:04:23 Adam I don't want people to go in with high expectations.

1:04:26 Caller Okay, you sucked.

1:04:28 Caller No. Hey, whoa.

1:04:29 Jimmy Kimmel Hey, whoa.

1:04:30 Caller Well, I had a question. I was wondering what Joe Franklin thought when he first saw your segment.

1:04:35 Adam I have no idea. I know that they, I think that they went and interviewed him after my, you know what I mean, after my segment because of it.

1:04:45 Jimmy Kimmel Joe Franklin is a local, very old talk show host in New York whom Sarah accused of molesting her in the movie. Or raping her, right? Right, raping.

1:04:55 Adam Rape, yeah.

1:04:56 Drew Did you have a chance to prepare the joke? Or they ambushed you with the camera?

1:05:00 Adam It's so weird because nobody who did this thought that this was going to be some big movie and I think it's-

1:05:07 Jimmy Kimmel And it still might not.

1:05:09 Adam Well no, I think it's going to be huge because with what theaters it's open in, they have record breaking seat filling or however, I don't know how they call it. But I was on, forgive me Jimmy, the Conan O'Brien show with, and Penn Jillette was the other guest.

1:05:24 Drew What?

1:05:25 Adam It was before I knew and after the show he was like hey, me and Paul Provenzer are making this thing, can we just come over? We'll come over to your place, it'll be 20 minutes and it really was. They came over and left.

1:05:37 Drew But did they tell you what joke you were going to tell?

1:05:40 Adam Yeah, they said we're doing a thing about that, aristocrat's joke and you can do anything you want about it. You can talk about it, you can do it, you can.

1:05:46 Drew Did you think about it for a couple of days? You thought, oh yeah, yeah, they're coming in five minutes, I better figure something out.

1:05:51 Adam No, no, I wasn't even, I didn't have makeup on, I was wearing what I wore every day of the summer, which was one of those hippie skirts and a, I call it a wife beater. But you know what I mean, it wasn't even, I didn't think anything of it.

1:06:08 Drew Now you own it.

1:06:08 Jimmy Kimmel What's the go-ahead?

1:06:11 Adam No, sometimes that's one. She'll never have anything without makeup now. But I mean, it was like, it's just unexpected, whatever. It's cheesy to, like.

1:06:20 Drew All right, let's go.

1:06:20 Adam All right, the truth is I read the script and I called my agent and I said, I have to do this.

1:06:25 Drew Let's go to line two. Tyler, who is 14. Tyler?

1:06:29 Caller Hello.

1:06:30 Drew Hey, Tyler, what's going on, buddy?

1:06:33 Caller I'm 14 and all my friends have hit puberty and some of them are making fun of me because I still have my girl voice. I was just wondering if there's any specific reason why I might not hit puberty yet.

1:06:43 Drew Your girl voice? Well.

1:06:45 Jimmy Kimmel You don't sound like you have a girl voice.

1:06:47 Adam You sound adorable.

1:06:49 Drew Boys are cruel. They are just cruel. Well, boys and girls are cruel at that age. Let me tell you this. I have read some literature that suggests late puberty. Puberty comes late like at 15 or 16 is associated with longevity.

1:07:02 Adam Oh, good.

1:07:03 Drew So you have late puberty too.

1:07:04 Adam 17 and a half.

1:07:05 Jimmy Kimmel He read that in Fancy Pants magazine.

1:07:07 Drew Tyler, you hear that teen beat. Tyler, you hear this that Sarah had puberty at 17 and a half.

1:07:13 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah.

1:07:14 Drew And females usually hit puberty around 12.

1:07:16 Jimmy Kimmel I know.

1:07:17 Drew So she is...

1:07:18 Jimmy Kimmel She didn't have hair on her balls until she was 20 years old.

1:07:21 Caller On her balls?

1:07:23 Caller Jimmy.

1:07:24 Jimmy Kimmel It's a joke.

1:07:24 Caller Some things have to be private.

1:07:26 Caller All my friends already hit puberty and they all have deep voices and stuff.

1:07:30 Drew It's tough. I understand. My sons are sort of dealing with this too. Some guys, overnight, like over summer, they come back and they're men. It's the craziest thing. It's so weird. They're in the same class with a bunch of little boys. Yeah. It is a craze. That seventh to ninth grade transition is nuts.

1:07:48 Adam It all evens out. It's just nature.

1:07:50 Drew There are things.

1:07:50 Adam There's nothing wrong with you at all.

1:07:51 Drew There are things that can delay it. For instance, if you had non-descended testes, that's something that needs to be looked into. How are your testes?

1:07:56 Adam What does that mean?

1:07:57 Drew The testes. The testes has to come from your abdomen and drop down into the testicular sac. They migrate down. Oftentimes, they don't make it and they can stay up in the abdomen, in which case they can shut down, turn into cancer, and they have to be brought down surgically.

1:08:11 Adam I mean, babies are born with balls.

1:08:13 Drew They drop down.

1:08:14 Adam Giant. Grover nose looking balls.

1:08:18 Drew In any event, that can happen. There can be pituitary problems. There can be primary failure of the testes. A common cause is a prolactin screen tumor.

1:08:27 Jimmy Kimmel This is a 14-year-old, Drew.

1:08:28 Adam Drew, listen. There's nothing wrong with you.

1:08:31 Drew But Sarah, it's not as though nothing happens to anybody ever. Delayed puberty as a medical problem happens. And if it's something you want to have looked into, that's fine. But the probability is that it's just the fact that you are a late bloomer like Sarah was. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's a tough thing to struggle with when you're 14 or 15 and your homies are telling you have a girl voice that's cruel. But the fact is, hopefully it's not a medical issue.

1:08:57 Adam You know who else has a girl voice? Mike Tyson and Michael Jackson.

1:09:01 Drew Here you go.

1:09:02 Adam Listen, this is what you do. Don't compare me to them, but you go to school, you get yourself a fake moustache and you put it on really well.

1:09:10 Caller And you go to school and you go, hey, what's going on? You guys want to cruise Main Street or whatever.

1:09:16 Drew Talk about masturbation all the time. That's how Corolla does it. All right, Tyler, thanks. The phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. Please call us. You're quite all right, Tyler.

1:09:25 Caller He's adorable.

1:09:26 Drew I know. Listen, my kids are this age and they're dealing with this and it's crazy. They're wondering when am I going to grow and how come I'm competing against guys on the football field or the baseball field. They're six feet and have moustaches and come on, nutty. 1-800-LOVE-191, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman are our guests. Corolla is out promoting his show Too Late with Adam Corolla, 1130 Comedy Central, of course, Jimmy Kimmel Live weeknights at 1205 on ABC and we will return. Come on, call in. We need some calls now right after this.

1:09:59 Caller This is Loveline.

1:10:03 Caller Love Line is brought to you by the American Legacy Foundation's Truth Campaign. It's free, it's informative, it's powerful, it's the truth.

1:10:37 Drew Silverman is in. And so...

1:10:39 Jimmy Kimmel Takes two people to replace Adam.

1:10:41 Drew It does indeed.

1:10:42 Jimmy Kimmel Adam's show is starting actually in like four minutes on Comedy Central. If you haven't seen it yet, seems like the least he could do after all he's done for you.

1:10:50 Adam Too late with him.

1:10:51 Drew Show him the love, too late.

1:10:53 Adam Who's his guest tonight?

1:10:54 Jimmy Kimmel I don't know.

1:10:55 Adam You know what, you don't even watch it for the guest.

1:10:57 Caller Who cares?

1:10:58 Drew Anderson. Anderson and Adam have a long standing feud going on. You know like that.

1:11:03 Jimmy Kimmel I know, I know. I would have fired Anderson a long time ago.

1:11:06 No, I was saying who cares about the guest because Adam's so great is what I was saying.

1:11:10 Caller Ah, yeah.

1:11:11 Adam You know that's from a movie that, a very bad movie that I was in.

1:11:15 Jimmy Kimmel What?

1:11:16 Caller Screwed.

1:11:16 Jimmy Kimmel Oh really?

1:11:17 Drew Yeah.

1:11:18 Adam That who cares?

1:11:20 Jimmy Kimmel Good time to hit it again Anderson.

1:11:21 You no good hooligan.

1:11:25 Drew Let's go to line five. This is Michelle, who is 29. Michelle.

1:11:29 Caller Yes.

1:11:30 Drew Hey, what's up?

1:11:31 Caller Hi, I'm just driving to Reno.

1:11:35 Drew All right. Your phone's kind of going in and out, so you might want to pull over. What's up?

1:11:40 Caller I've had three kids, and I have been, I've never been able to have an orgasm through intercourse. And I was young when I had my first one, and so I was-

1:11:53 Caller No one cares.

1:11:57 Jimmy Kimmel That's why I would have fired them.

1:11:58 Drew And? Go ahead.

1:12:00 Caller And so I really don't know. I do know that through the years, I have been told I don't have the ridges inside.

1:12:13 Drew The changes in the vaginal architecture have nothing to do with your ability to have orgasm. You're not having orgasm with intercourse. That's not going to happen to you. About 50% of women never have orgasm with intercourse.

1:12:27 Caller Really?

1:12:28 Jimmy Kimmel That's almost half.

1:12:30 Drew Yeah. Why is it a shame? Do you have orgasm with oral sex?

1:12:35 Caller It's very hard for me too. It seems to be getting harder. It got harder for me after each episiotomy that I had.

1:12:48 Drew Why do the episiotomies affect your oral sex?

1:12:51 Caller It just seems like I had a very hard birth and so I was cut and...

1:12:58 Drew Yeah, but the cutting is at the other end of the vagina, nowhere near the clitoris. It is.

1:13:03 Caller I just seem to have a lot of senses down there through each child I've had. It's just gotten worse.

1:13:12 Drew So now you don't have orgasm even with oral sex?

1:13:16 Caller Not unless I'm doing it myself with a vibration.

1:13:19 Jimmy Kimmel You give yourself oral sex?

1:13:21 Drew Vibrator.

1:13:21 Jimmy Kimmel How long are you married?

1:13:24 I'm divorced.

1:13:27 Adam Are you on antidepressants?

1:13:29 Caller No.

1:13:30 Drew Are you on any medication?

1:13:31 Caller No.

1:13:32 Drew Not on birth control?

1:13:34 Nope.

1:13:35 Jimmy Kimmel Ever played frisbee football?

1:13:38 Drew Are you a trauma survivor? Were you sexually abused or anything?

1:13:42 Caller I was when I was 12 and then again when I was 14.

1:13:47 Drew So that can affect how you experience these things?

1:13:50 Caller You know, I know that that has affected me as far as my trust issues with the people I have been with. And then when I finally did fall in love, I again was given trust issues that I couldn't handle from him. He gave me a lot of reasons not to trust him. And so, it's not that I don't have, I haven't had that feeling. It just seems like I'm the only one who is able to do it fully, you know, and actually know that I'm having one.

1:14:27 Adam It's good that you can do it to yourself.

1:14:29 Caller Right.

1:14:29 Drew At least you've got that. But the fact is that sort of often people with trust issues, first of all, they can feel uncomfortable giving or being that open to another person. Secondly, having been sexual abuse can, although you say it happened initially when you were 12, usually this happens when you're younger, can sort of detach you from the physical experience of stimulation down there. You can actually disconnect biologically.

1:14:51 Caller Yeah. I know that I did for quite some years.

1:14:54 Drew All right. So the fact that you have done that and now you're in a place where your divorce and your relationship with men are sort of in question, it's natural enough that these things might surface again. In fact, people with the kind of experience you have will often go from being hypersexual to completely shut down sexually. So, I wouldn't be so inclined to blame the pregnancies. However, distortions of the vaginal architecture do bother a lot of women, but not so much even how it feels, but even how it looks, and there are now various procedures out there. Hang on. There's actually a laser procedure out there that repairs the vaginal architecture and brings it back the way it was before the deliveries.

1:15:29 Adam I took a tour of a vaginal rejuvenation center.

1:15:33 Drew Nice.

1:15:35 Adam And we walked through the recovery room, and it's covered in curtains. The actual things are separated by, divided by curtains, but through the curtains, the women in recovery, this is all we could hear was this.

1:15:48 Drew Okay, so. Wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Hold on.

1:15:52 Adam Oh my God.

1:15:56 Caller Oh my God.

1:15:57 Drew See, it's fun.

1:15:58 Adam But I'm sure they're happy they did it now.

1:16:00 Drew Yeah, I was actually scrubbed in on one of these surgeries and it's a rather elegant procedure. It really is. I'm persuaded. I was very skeptical about it.

1:16:07 Adam Very elegant.

1:16:08 Drew Sounds like something David Nivet would be involved in. No, but basically, you have somebody going from this to this. You have this when they start out. Yeah.

1:16:15 Jimmy Kimmel You're making a big triangle, turns into a.

1:16:17 Drew A sled.

1:16:18 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah.

1:16:19 Drew Yeah.

1:16:19 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah. Well, have your shirt, have your vagina.

1:16:23 Drew Rejuvenated.

1:16:25 Adam A veg juice.

1:16:26 Drew And by the way, Jimmy, vagina?

1:16:28 Jimmy Kimmel That's how I pronounce it.

1:16:30 Adam It's a more modest pronunciation.

1:16:32 Drew We're going to go to line three now.

1:16:33 Adam It's like Pasquetti.

1:16:34 Drew Line three. This is Amanda, who's 19. Hi, Amanda. What's going on?

1:16:40 Caller Okay. So I have a girlfriend, and we've tried anal sex before, and I did it before with a guy, and I didn't like it.

1:16:47 Drew Hold on a second.

1:16:48 Jimmy Kimmel Hold on.

1:16:48 Drew Jimmy's cracking up.

1:16:49 Jimmy Kimmel What do you mean, you and your girlfriend? What do you mean?

1:16:52 Adam With the dildo.

1:16:53 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah. Oh, how can I be so foolish?

1:16:55 Drew How dare you, Jimmy? Unenlightened.

1:16:59 Jimmy Kimmel All of a sudden, it's okay.

1:17:00 Drew It's so tight.

1:17:01 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah. All right. So what happened?

1:17:02 Adam It's absolutely okay if you like it.

1:17:05 Right.

1:17:07 Drew You like it, Sarah.

1:17:08 Caller I remember when my dad got me my first butt plug.

1:17:12 Caller Hello.

1:17:12 Drew What's going on? What's up?

1:17:13 Caller Okay. So I did it once with a guy, and it hurt. And I was like, I'm never doing this again. And now I have a girlfriend and we tried it, and I have a little tiny butt plug. Good God, this is so embarrassing. But I have a little tiny butt plug and I've used it, and it doesn't hurt.

1:17:29 Drew I have a tiny butt plug.

1:17:30 It sounds like a good song.

1:17:33 Caller But it feels like I have to go.

1:17:38 Drew Yes, yes, of course.

1:17:39 Jimmy Kimmel That's feels like you have to make duty when there's something in your duty hole.

1:17:43 Drew It's called your anal verge. That's a stimulation, the anal verge that gives you that sensation. Oh my God, what's up with people? I don't understand.

1:17:51 Adam Up, up with people.

1:17:53 Jimmy Kimmel So you're concerned because when you put something in there, it feels like you have something in there.

1:18:03 Caller Yeah.

1:18:03 Drew That you want to eject. And that's what your body wants to do, is to push out. That's sort of the natural sort of.

1:18:08 Caller Does that ever go away?

1:18:09 Caller Like, is there any way I could ever have like...

1:18:12 Adam Yeah, you can disassociate completely.

1:18:16 Caller So it's just always going to feel like that?

1:18:18 Drew Well, I imagine you could sort of desensitize and stretch the area out in such a way that it would be less likely to feel like...

1:18:24 Adam Ambosol.

1:18:25 Drew I don't believe that would be a good thing, but I believe in you on your ass. I just, you just got to relax.

1:18:30 Jimmy Kimmel I didn't know lesbians were into that sort of thing.

1:18:33 Caller What?

1:18:33 Drew Oh no, well we have a lesbian here who's freaking out a little bit. We have a freak woman and a lesbian.

1:18:37 Jimmy Kimmel Do you know other lesbians that are into...

1:18:39 Drew Wait, wait, get the mic.

1:18:40 Caller No.

1:18:40 Caller Yeah, lesbians are into everything.

1:18:42 Drew You're a lesbian.

1:18:43 Caller Not everything. I mean, different people are into different things and that's kind of extreme. Anal is extreme for anybody.

1:18:52 Adam Yeah.

1:18:53 Drew Yeah, like the X Games. I just hear trauma survivor when I hear lesbians doing this stuff, right?

1:19:00 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, plus she had a boyfriend, the anal with the boyfriend, now she's with the girlfriend.

1:19:04 Adam Yeah, are you a real lesbian or are you just having a little lesbian fling?

1:19:07 Caller No, I've had a couple of different girlfriends.

1:19:10 Drew No, my question is, are you a trauma survivor, were you sexually abused growing up, and is this all part of your confusion?

1:19:15 Caller Well, yeah, I've been sexually abused.

1:19:17 Drew There you go.

1:19:18 Adam Right, you're angry at men, but you want to reenact what happened to you.

1:19:23 Drew Right, it's a compulsion to reenact it.

1:19:25 Adam In a safer environment.

1:19:26 Drew Exactly, Sarah, what is that, do you think? Give me a sense of why people, I'm always curious about this almost philosophically, why humans must repeat trauma. They're drawn to it again.

1:19:36 Adam It's human, it is literally what human nature is.

1:19:39 Drew It's in your biology, it's in us.

1:19:40 Jimmy Kimmel The same reason kids watch Finding Nemo over and over and over and over again.

1:19:45 Drew It's intriguing.

1:19:45 Adam It's very close to insanity. It's doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

1:19:54 Caller Right. Well, when I was raped, I was never raped. Anal, eh?

1:19:58 Adam Oh, then never mind.

1:20:00 Drew We were way off base. The anal part is just the need for extreme levels of arousal and stimulation and a lot of confusion and chaos in your relationships. All that adds up to trauma. It just does. And so it really, if you want to do these things, fine, you go do them. But it is a compulsive reenactment of some very heavy stuff.

1:20:18 Adam Why would you want to work through the uncomfortableness of anal probing? Why do you want to get past it and get comfortable with it? If you're into it, then great. But if you're not, why?

1:20:29 Caller Why push forward or backward?

1:20:34 Drew All right. Let's take another call. This is James24 on line 1.

1:20:37 Adam James at 24.

1:20:39 Caller Yeah. I just had a question. I've had a plain old wart on my hands or my knee or whatever, and all of a sudden, I'm noticing something looks the exact same thing down in my pubic area. But I have come up clean on tests when I've gotten tested.

1:20:54 Caller Hold on.

1:20:56 Drew Hold on. On your pubic area or on the penis?

1:21:00 Caller Some of the pubic area, something that looks similar on the penis.

1:21:03 Drew All right. First of all, there's really no test for this for men. The test is visual inspection. The doctor has to look at the warts and decide if that's a wart or not.

1:21:12 Jimmy Kimmel Or the DMV, you can get it done.

1:21:15 Drew If you show your picture. But you don't, so there's no test for that in men. Secondly, things that appear in the pubic area that looks sort of wart-like are actually more likely to be something called molluscum contagiosum, which is a viral thing that cause these little kind of zit-like growths with kind of a hard top on them. And people confuse those for warts sometimes. So James, to sort this out, you need to go see a doctor, have them look at that and figure out what this is. The fact that your girlfriend doesn't have evidence of the HPV or the wart virus suggests that it probably is not what you have. Okay?

1:21:48 Caller Okay.

1:21:49 Drew All right.

1:21:49 Caller All right. Thank you very much.

1:21:50 Drew My pleasure. This is, let's see here.

1:21:52 Jimmy Kimmel Well, that was nice. Tidy, you solved this problem.

1:21:55 Drew Easy.

1:21:56 Jimmy Kimmel Pointing in the right direction.

1:21:58 Drew That sounds like a seafood dish or something, doesn't it?

1:22:01 Jimmy Kimmel It does sound delicious.

1:22:02 Drew Yes, it is. Should we talk to Haley in line four? Haley?

1:22:06 Caller Hello.

1:22:07 Drew Hi there. What's going on?

1:22:09 Caller I've been cutting for about a year and I want to know how I can get help without my parents knowing.

1:22:17 Drew At 12, that's going to be kind of difficult. Why is it so important that your parents not know?

1:22:23 Caller Because they're like weird.

1:22:25 Drew What do you mean?

1:22:27 Caller I don't know. They think like they don't know anything about my life. Really, they don't.

1:22:32 Drew What should they know? What is it they don't know?

1:22:36 Caller I don't know. Like two summers ago, like my cousin, he like molested me.

1:22:45 Drew Why don't you tell your parents about that? They could help you.

1:22:48 Caller Well, I don't want them to know.

1:22:50 Drew I know you don't want to. It's a painful to sort of, it makes the whole experience more vivid and real when they sort of share it with you, but it needs to come out. These things you're, you have a saying in the recovery field that you're as sick as your secrets. And this is something that, of course, you're cutting out to try to regulate the overwhelming shame and discomfort that you're in having been through an experience like that. You need to get help. There is help. You can be helped. And you not accessing it, you sort of restricting yourself from getting to it, is only causing yourself pain.

1:23:21 Adam It's natural to feel shame and to feel embarrassed. But you need an adult to tell you that you have no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed.

1:23:29 Drew And your parents can get you to some help.

1:23:31 Jimmy Kimmel But maybe, but let's just presume that she's not.

1:23:33 Drew All right, then let's go to somebody at school, talk to whoever.

1:23:35 Jimmy Kimmel Do you have an older brother or sister?

1:23:37 Caller No, I'm the oldest.

1:23:39 Jimmy Kimmel Do you have friends' parents that you're close to?

1:23:43 Caller What?

1:23:44 Jimmy Kimmel Friends' parents that you trust or you're close to?

1:23:46 Caller No.

1:23:48 Jimmy Kimmel Teachers?

1:23:49 Caller No, not really.

1:23:52 Jimmy Kimmel Any adults at all?

1:23:55 Caller My aunt.

1:23:56 Drew There you go.

1:23:57 Jimmy Kimmel That's a good person.

1:23:58 Drew Start there. How old is she?

1:24:00 Caller I don't know. I think she's a little bit older than my mom. And my mom's like 33, I think.

1:24:06 Drew There you go.

1:24:07 Caller That's a perfect person.

1:24:07 Drew Tell your aunt. You're going to do that for us?

1:24:09 Caller Well, I don't know. She, like, tells my mom everything.

1:24:12 Drew Well, then you need to...

1:24:13 Jimmy Kimmel But she'll protect you if you trust her. Tell her how you feel about it.

1:24:16 Drew Tell her you don't want the mom to know, but you do want help, and maybe she can get you that help. The important thing for you is that you get to the help and let the parents, let the grownups take care of themselves. All right? You tell the aunt, all right?

1:24:27 Jimmy Kimmel I think you might be surprised at how understanding your mom is about it, though.

1:24:31 Drew Yeah. Haley, please tell your aunt you're going to do that for us.

1:24:34 Caller I'll try.

1:24:35 Drew No, no, no. We want a commitment from you.

1:24:37 Jimmy Kimmel You don't want that cousin to do the same thing to somebody else, do you?

1:24:41 Caller No.

1:24:42 Jimmy Kimmel So then you have to tell someone.

1:24:44 Drew Can we get a commitment from you?

1:24:47 Caller I don't know.

1:24:48 Drew Haley, come on. Come on.

1:24:50 Caller Is there anybody at, like, schools that can help me?

1:24:55 Drew Yes. If you're a teacher or is there any sort of counselor there? Absolutely. You can go to one of them. But you told us you didn't trust anybody, and I think the aunt would be a better person. But yes. But just at least commit to us. You're going to tell somebody, an adult.

1:25:09 Caller Well, I have a teacher that I can tell.

1:25:11 Drew All right. You promise us you're going to tell them, okay? Haley?

1:25:15 Caller What?

1:25:16 Drew You're going to tell the teacher. You promise us?

1:25:22 Jimmy Kimmel All right. If you can't, write it down on a note and give it to the teacher, if you feel like you can't say it to the teacher.

1:25:29 Drew Yeah.

1:25:29 Caller You'll be glad that you did. Okay.

1:25:31 Drew All right. We have to take a break again. All right, Haley, take care of yourself. Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel, 1-800-LOVE-E.

1:25:37 Adam I'm hilarious tonight.

1:25:39 Drew You guys are the funniest thing.

1:25:40 Adam I'm about to cry.

1:25:40 Drew Oh, they're hysterical calls.

1:25:42 Caller You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

1:25:44 Adam I know.

1:25:45 Drew And we will return.

1:25:48 Caller Love Line.

1:25:48 Jimmy Kimmel Love Line will be right back, so get your problems ready, ready, ready.

1:25:54 Caller Love Line brought to you by Sex in the City on TBS Tuesday nights at 9, 8 Central and Wednesday nights at 10, 9 Central.

1:26:00 Caller Tuesdays and Wednesdays just got sexier.

1:26:24 Drew Michelle, thank you. No, you're right, we were not. We were on Two Seconds Later. That's right. Loveline, I'm Dr. Drew. Adam Carolla is away till our next show. Phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. In tonight, Jimmy Kimmel, Sarah Silverman, and we have a question for Jimmy online too. Nick, who is 14, we're going young tonight. Sarah, I blame you. Nick, what's up?

1:26:46 Caller Fan of you for a long time, Drew. It's good to talk to you. Hey, Nick. Hey, I have a question for you, Jimmy.

1:26:55 Jimmy Kimmel I already have a Jew here, her name's Sarah. What is the question, Nick?

1:27:01 Caller What got you into doing comedy? What started off you to be funny?

1:27:07 Drew We were just talking about this off the air a little bit.

1:27:08 Jimmy Kimmel Well, for me, really, I think it was, I started watching David Letterman when I was about, I don't know, probably 16 years old. I wanted to be an artist before then, and then I started watching the show and I watched Johnny.

1:27:20 Drew You mean like a fine artist?

1:27:21 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, like drawing and that sort of thing. Draw anything. And I'd sit and draw at my desk and watch a little black and white TV, and I got interested in it, and I was working at a clothing store, and this guy at the store said, I work on a radio, on the college radio station, and you're pretty funny, maybe you want to come do something, and I got really excited about doing it.

1:27:44 Drew This was in Vegas or in Phoenix?

1:27:45 Jimmy Kimmel In Las Vegas, and I went and did it, and like my parents were listening, and I was 17, all my friends were listening, and when I came home, everybody was so excited, and so like, you know, that it was just such a thrill for me that I decided that's what I wanted to do, and I really, what I did was I got into radio.

1:28:05 Caller Oh, well, it turned out pretty good for you, I guess, because you're pretty successful, it seems like.

1:28:09 Drew Well, I get it, a lot of people don't know you, that Jimmy started here on the same radio station this show started on in Los Angeles, K-Rock. Well, you can start here, but I'm sure you got really going here.

1:28:19 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, this was my big radio job. And Sarah started doing stand-up comedy a different way. How old were you when you did it?

1:28:27 Caller I was 17.

1:28:29 Jimmy Kimmel 17 years old doing stand-up comedy in front of adults.

1:28:33 Adam Yeah.

1:28:33 Drew Was that weird?

1:28:35 Adam I was just telling my friend Steve the first time I did stand-up, I was opening, well, it was one of the first times I did stand-up, I was opening for a band in this tiny little club in New Hampshire, and the people in the audience were so mean, they were like these drunk guys. Every time I'd say a punchline, they'd go, hilarious.

1:28:55 Drew You knew that's what you wanted to do. You loved it at that moment. Got to be stand-up. How did you persevere? I mean, how did you just knew that's what you had to do?

1:29:04 Caller Yeah, I just kept doing it.

1:29:06 Drew Does that answer your question, Nick?

1:29:08 Caller Yeah, and also I have a question about the Andy Milonokis show.

1:29:12 Drew Yeah.

1:29:12 Caller All right.

1:29:14 Caller What made you think of helping to produce, what gave you the idea for a show like that?

1:29:20 Jimmy Kimmel I just thought Andy was funny and they fired him on my show so he was unemployed.

1:29:25 Drew Why did they fire him?

1:29:26 Jimmy Kimmel He's weird and not kind of mainstream, not the sort of thing you'd necessarily see on ABC.

1:29:33 Drew How old is he in real life?

1:29:35 Jimmy Kimmel He's 75 years old.

1:29:36 Drew Really?

1:29:37 Jimmy Kimmel He looks 12. He's a very old man. Yeah.

1:29:40 Caller How old is he really? Because I've heard a bunch of different stories about how old he is.

1:29:43 Jimmy Kimmel He really is 75 years old.

1:29:46 Caller Okay.

1:29:46 Caller 75.

1:29:47 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah. He's ageless. He's like the son.

1:29:52 Drew He has a pituitary problem though.

1:29:54 Jimmy Kimmel Something like that. I don't know what the deal is.

1:29:57 Drew Is he got Cushing's?

1:29:58 Jimmy Kimmel I don't know. It's one of those uncomfortable conversations. I've not pressed him on.

1:30:02 Drew Oh, my God.

1:30:03 Jimmy, how much do you actually do on that show? Because I watch that thing all the time. I love it.

1:30:07 Jimmy Kimmel I'm the executive producer of the show.

1:30:09 Drew He does nothing. I understand what that means.

1:30:11 Jimmy Kimmel No, no.

1:30:12 You believed in the kid.

1:30:14 Jimmy Kimmel No, but I, yeah.

1:30:14 Adam It's part of the idea.

1:30:15 Jimmy Kimmel Andy and I came up with the idea of the show, and I pitched it to MTV, and my brother and my other partner's brother and a friend of ours, they actually write the stuff with Andy and they produce the whole thing. But I go over every show and make notes and all that stuff.

1:30:30 Who are these people that he finds on the street, like the black guy with the fish and the cigarette in his mouth?

1:30:34 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, these are just neighborhood people on the Lower East Side in New York, just people that live in the building and wander around the streets there.

1:30:43 Drew Is that where he's from, Andy?

1:30:44 Jimmy Kimmel He is from upstate New York originally and he lives in Queens.

1:30:48 Drew What would he be doing for a living if he were not doing this?

1:30:50 Jimmy Kimmel He was a computer technician for a business. He's a smart kid.

1:30:56 Drew He's 75, he's not a kid anymore.

1:30:58 Jimmy Kimmel Well, I call everyone kid.

1:31:00 Drew All right, Nick.

1:31:01 Jimmy Kimmel Kid Rock is probably pushing forward.

1:31:04 Drew Go to line one now. It's Mike who is 19. Mike?

1:31:07 Caller Yeah.

1:31:08 Drew Hey, what's going on there?

1:31:09 Caller Hey, my question had to do with a young person's erectile issues.

1:31:15 Drew Yes. More specifically, I imagine.

1:31:19 Caller Excuse me?

1:31:20 Drew Go ahead.

1:31:21 Adam He has a softening of the bone.

1:31:26 Caller Actually, Sarah, I was at the club last night.

1:31:28 Caller You're hilarious.

1:31:29 Caller Oh, thank you.

1:31:30 Caller Yeah, you're really funny.

1:31:33 Adam Why am I embarrassed?

1:31:36 Drew Because he heard you say all those dirty words.

1:31:38 Adam Okay, so tell me, what's about your penis?

1:31:41 Caller Well, I've been with this girl and we were trying to have sex and it was about to happen and I was ready the entire time. And right when my boxers came off, you know, nothing was going on down there.

1:31:53 Drew Yeah, it becomes somebody else's penis right about then, right?

1:31:57 Caller Is that an issue with just like...

1:31:59 Drew It's very common. It's anxiety that does that. It's when you're super excited and it's someone you really want to be with and impressed and it's a sort of an anxiety-provoking situation, you're in the back of a car or something or you know, somebody's nearby, then forget it. Especially first go-around. I suggest you get back at it. Because if this because... What?

1:32:17 Caller We both had sex before. It was just our first time and it was...

1:32:21 Drew That's what I'm saying. But you got to get back at it with her is what I'm saying. Because you need to sort of get back on the horse lest this becomes a preoccupation. Because next time you were somebody else, you start thinking, oh my god, it's going to happen again. It's going to happen again. It will happen again.

1:32:34 Adam Right. It's like a panic attack. It's like every subsequent panic attack is just that fear of getting one.

1:32:40 Drew You're not in medication, are you?

1:32:41 Caller Well, the only thing I was on at the time is I was high. And I didn't know if that had to...

1:32:46 Drew That will work against that. I know people claim that it enhances, but it biologically works against you.

1:32:51 Caller All right.

1:32:52 Drew So do it straight next time, will you?

1:32:54 Caller Yeah.

1:32:54 Drew All right. Good times. All right. Good luck.

1:32:56 Jimmy Kimmel Oh, kids and their drugs and their penises.

1:32:59 Adam They're so great.

1:33:01 Drew Cutting and the sexual abuse.

1:33:03 Adam I'm so glad I'm not a child anymore when you trade it.

1:33:06 Drew Jimmy Kimmel, Sarah Silverman joining me here this evening. Jimmy Kimmel Live, ABC, Weeknights 1205, Adam Corolla, Too Late with Adam Corolla, Right Now.

1:33:17 Jimmy Kimmel On Comedy Central.

1:33:17 Drew On Comedy Central. So set your TeeVos and turn that on with the sound off while you're listening to us. Sarah Silverman, Aristocrats, and we'll be back in just a second. Now you can talk, Jimmy.

1:34:13 Jimmy Kimmel Thank you, Dr. Drew, for having us. Thanks to Sarah Silverman, Rishkratz, Movie and Theaters Now. Watch us in the Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson.

1:34:20 Drew We didn't mention that.

1:34:21 Jimmy Kimmel Dr. Drew on the Discovery Health Network. He's not allowed to say the word penis.

1:34:25 Drew I'm not. I'm not allowed to say the word breast. No. I was interviewing someone in the street, and he said, hell no, and they go, stop tape. No, no, Huffy, heck no. Wow. Yeah.

1:34:36 Jimmy Kimmel Terrific.

1:34:37 Drew Yeah, good times. Good times indeed.

1:34:39 Adam This is great. Just like Europe.

1:34:41 Drew That's right. That's right. Liberated. Well, guys, I appreciate you coming in, helping out while Adam's out working on Too Late with Adam Corolla, which is just wrapping up right now. Set your T-Bows for his show. It follows Jon Stewart, a Daily Show. And I guess that's about all we got to say on that, right?

1:34:55 Jimmy Kimmel Yeah, that's all I have to say. I didn't really have anything to say when I came in.

1:34:58 Drew You guys were great, if that was nothing to say.

1:34:59 Adam I have not even started.

1:35:00 Drew Next Street, Jared, is he pronouncing Leto? Leto, remember him from, what was that show they were in? My So-Called Life. He's now at 32nd to Mars. Bob Saget, to talk more about the aristocrats. Howie Mandel, talk about the aristocrats next week. A little thanks where thanks is due. Anne, Michelle, Lauren, Anderson, Patricia, who am I leaving out?

1:35:20 Caller I should be fired though.

1:35:21 What?

1:35:22 Drew Who's fired?

1:35:23 I should be fired though, this is Jimmy.

1:35:25 Drew Well, he said if he were charged, he'd definitely fire him.

1:35:28 You and I would love each other if you worked here.

1:35:31 Jimmy Kimmel No, no, because you wouldn't work here if I worked here. You would be homeless.

1:35:35 Drew He likes you.

1:35:35 I am homeless, actually.

1:35:38 Jimmy Kimmel Sounds like you're eating too, by the way.

1:35:39 Drew Get to that later, guys. All right, and this is Dr. Drew on behalf of Adam Corolla saying mahalo.

1:35:44 Jimmy Kimmel Huh? This has been Loveline.

1:35:48 Caller Loveline.

1:35:51 Caller The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, August 11, 2005