Episode 1000717389993

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:17 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. But more important, his biggest role, his greatest role, his greatest role besides playing the dad on the Olsen Twins flop is actually playing father.

1:43 Drew In real life.

1:44 Adam In real life.

1:44 Drew That is my greatest role.

1:45 Adam To three adoring children. It was father's day today.

1:50 Drew It was. It was nice. What did you do? I just hung out. And I had a huge, I ate from morning till night.

1:58 Adam Yeah, that's what you want to do.

1:59 Drew And as I was working out this morning, I thought to myself, wow, this is not what my wife would be wanting to be doing on Mother's Day.

2:06 Adam Hang out and eating?

2:07 Drew Not hang out and eat, but by myself in the gym. And then I thought to myself, you know, there's a difference between Mother's Day and Father's Day. Mother's Day is they want you to wait on them. On Father's Day is we want them to leave us alone.

2:17 Adam Right, that's all we ask for.

2:19 Drew We just leave us alone.

2:20 Adam It's all you need to know between men and women, like what those two days are. Cause look at it this way, there's Mother's Day and there's Father's Day. If you're from a different planet, it's basically, here's how you would explain it. Well, one, you know, there's the parents and one is the male and one's the female. And each year they get a day to be as they please. People take care of them, they shower them with gifts or cards, whatever their whim is, that's what takes place that day. All right, well let's find out.

2:47 Drew Let's examine Mother's Day.

2:48 Adam It is grossly in favor of Mother's Day. Mother's Day.

2:51 Drew Well, but wait a minute, that's just different. It's just different. I wouldn't even put a valence on it.

2:54 Adam Well, let's put it this way. If you got to sleep in.

2:59 Drew You got to sleep in and work out.

3:00 Adam And get left alone a little bit, that's considered a large victory for Father's Day. If you let them sleep in and exercise in the morning, they're going to be P.O.ed.

3:10 Drew Very. But that's not what they want.

3:12 Adam Yeah.

3:13 Drew To be fair.

3:13 Adam Yeah. But is a guy to also, the idea that you're, whatever it is, that whatever you open, whatever has a bow on it, you paid for. If it's got a bow on it, you bought it. So you could have got it yourself. There's that. And then there's somebody made something for you at school, but that's a disaster because that looks like hell and you have to keep your pens in it and display it. You know what I mean?

3:36 Drew We had great food all day. Fabulous food.

3:38 That was nice.

3:40 Adam What did you eat? What did you do?

3:41 Drew Bagels and lox and egg frittatas and just ate and ate and ate and ate.

3:46 Adam Who?

3:48 Drew My wife organized it. My sister, too.

3:49 Adam She brought it in. All right. So no big problems.

3:54 Drew You're all right? Did you go to see your dad?

3:56 Adam I missed it this year.

3:57 Drew Ho ho ho.

4:00 Adam I thought it was the last week, actually.

4:04 Drew Let's be honest. You're kind of angry with him. The last phone call wasn't your favorite.

4:08 Yeah.

4:09 Drew The $700 in closing fee.

4:11 Adam Yeah. There's always something going on. Here's my feeling really, as I really thought about it. This is all anyone really has to do in life. Because I missed Father's Day. I gave him a call. I told him to take him out to dinner later on in the week. But I really started thinking about it. And I thought, well, my dad is a dad was a four.

4:32 Drew Oh, you give him a four now?

4:33 Adam I give him a four.

4:33 Drew He moved up from previous evaluations.

4:35 Adam Well, you know.

4:36 Drew Just through the prism of today's point of view.

4:39 Adam Yeah. You know, one is, you know, drunken, pedophile, sexual abuse. You know.

4:44 Drew I thought those were negative threes.

4:47 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I don't I don't I don't play.

4:48 Drew You don't give negative threes.

4:49 Adam I don't give negative anything. I get negative three and four stars, but I don't give them.

4:53 Drew I see.

4:54 Adam My dad was a solid. He was a he was a four. He was a four minus.

4:59 Drew And after all, you are literally a millionaire.

5:01 Adam Literally a millionaire.

5:02 Drew So he must have done something right. Or not screwed something up.

5:05 Adam Yes. Yes. He didn't pull out is what he did right. In 1964. That's what he did right.

5:11 Drew It's like in the SAT, you get a 200 for filling in your name.

5:13 Adam That's right. I give my dad a solid four.

5:16 Drew Yeah.

5:17 Adam Good guy now. But I just mean growing up as a dad, if you start bouncing and all that stuff, you know, how many ball games, how much homework, how much, I give him a good four.

5:26 Drew And then he faces, he's pushing limits now too.

5:29 Adam Well, he wants a little money, but here's the thing. Here's what I realized. And this lets you off the hook. And this is all anyone has to do in life. Assess what the guy was or the girl was or the boss was or the girlfriend is. And then all you got to be is a five or four and a half. I just-

5:45 Drew You have to be a five in return.

5:47 Adam I was in my expensive sports car driving the other direction for my dad's house today about noon thinking to myself, well, I'm at least a four and a half as a son.

5:54 Drew Yeah.

5:54 Adam All right. He's a four. I'm a four and a half. I don't have to be a nine. I just got to beat him.

5:59 Drew Yeah.

6:00 Adam That's all you got to do in life, everyone. You know what I'm saying?

6:03 Drew I hear you.

6:04 Adam If your partners are a pain in the ass and they're four, you just be a four and a half or five. All you got to be is a little bit better than the competition.

6:11 Drew Except strangely, the way the human is, those with a dad that was who in fact was a one, they need feel like they need to be a nine.

6:19 Adam Yeah.

6:19 Drew For the child to feel like they need to be a nine. Yeah.

6:21 Adam But if your dad's lucky enough to sort of hover around the middle somewhere, and I don't know what a nine or ten is, I'm guessing Bill Cosby or Alan Thicke or someone else I saw playing a good dad on TV growing up. Maybe I was going to say the Brady dad, but it turned out to be K. So you got to duck two points. But here's the thing. If your dad's a four, you'd be a five. But if he's an eight, you got to be a nine. Know what I mean? You got to be, your job's a treat. Just be just a little bit better. Same with the mom, same with the sister, same with the boss, same with everyone.

6:52 Drew Good times. Good times.

6:53 Adam What do you think of that?

6:55 Drew It makes sense. Your number's an evaluation. The thing about you, though, Adam, is if you lived 500 years ago, I think you would have been the Grand Inquisitor.

7:02 Adam Really?

7:03 Drew Yeah, you would have been doling out justice.

7:05 Adam Really?

7:06 Drew Your version.

7:07 Adam Off with his head. Oh, yeah. Hassan Chah.

7:09 Drew Uh-huh.

7:10 Adam Okay. But do you agree with me?

7:11 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, your numbers, again, your quantitative sense of justice is usually right on. Or your quantitative interpretation of human behavior.

7:20 Adam If your dad was a four, don't don't kill yourself being an eight.

7:23 Drew Yes, sir, Mr. Corolla.

7:24 Adam Thank you. Amanda?

7:29 Drew Call her who goes by Amanda. All right.

7:31 Adam Got a nice BJ question. Always breaks my heart to see those slip through the cracks. John?

7:38 Drew Oh, there we go. Hold on.

7:41 Adam How does it go? I don't know. You know, I believe in the great magnet.

7:44 Drew Yeah.

7:44 Adam I'm an atheist, but I do subscribe to the great magnet theory. Why is it when we have one call that doesn't say anything, or doesn't get through, or whatever, the next call, there's always a form Mississippi before they answer, just to make us assume there's something wrong with the line.

7:57 Drew You would think that would be the one that would jump right in. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. Don't hang up on me.

8:01 Adam I just want to know in terms of the...

8:03 Drew But if there were anything that you would expect to happen, it would be the person listening would go, I'm here. I'm here. Don't hang up on me.

8:10 Adam Not even that. I just mean, yeah, I know what you're saying, but I just mean...

8:13 Drew It's so much farther the other way.

8:14 Adam Cosmically, it's always farther the other way, and it's always, oh, we got a problem with the computer. Is that popped in your head?

8:21 Drew Absolutely.

8:21 Adam After two and a half Mississippi, we got problems with phone lines.

8:24 Drew Phone lines, right. So here's what it is. They're waiting for me to say this. First 10 callers who get on the air tonight will win an iTunes gift card valued at $99. Those of you that are 18 years or older, first 10, 99 bucks in the gift card.

8:36 Adam All right.

8:37 Drew Amanda's back, by the way. Yeah, see?

8:39 Adam John?

8:40 Drew Yeah.

8:41 Adam Hold on. See? You snooze, you lose. Amanda?

8:44 Hi.

8:45 Adam You're 19?

8:46 Caller Yes.

8:47 Adam What's up?

8:48 Caller All right. I've been going out with my boyfriend for probably like nine months now. Well, I know I've been going out for nine months. So whenever I give him head, he's like really, really, really ticklish and it kind of sucks because I really like to give head.

9:05 Drew But and I was wondering like he complains of it being too intense from the moment you start.

9:12 Caller Yeah. Like it's like, oh, it's like too sensitive. It's like a triple.

9:17 Adam He's uncircumcised.

9:19 Caller Yeah. Oh no, no, he is circumcised.

9:21 Drew Is he on medication?

9:23 Caller Uh-uh.

9:24 Drew Weird.

9:26 Adam He's been circumcised his whole life.

9:29 Caller Yeah.

9:30 Adam Yeah. Cause once while I hear about someone who's not circumcised and get, it becomes too intense or overwhelming or something like that. But if his Johnson's been splashing around his tough skins his whole life.

9:41 Drew What? Is he six? No.

9:44 Adam How old is he?

9:46 Caller He's 23.

9:47 Adam 23.

9:48 Drew That's too sensitive. All right.

9:49 Adam So either it's just sort of freaks him out, freaks him out a little bit, or it's just sort of nice way of him saying, he ain't really that into it.

9:57 Drew Or is it something she's doing that he's not, he doesn't have the nuts to tell her, you know, this doesn't feel good. What you're doing doesn't feel right.

10:04 Adam You have a sandy tongue?

10:07 Caller No.

10:08 Adam It's not a bad thing though, you know, screw all those tongue piercing.

10:11 Drew I don't want to hear what you do with the cats.

10:13 Adam I'm just talking about, I, Drew, until you felt the loving caress of a, all right.

10:20 Drew Loveline.

10:21 Adam Amanda? All right. Well, don't do this. He's not, for whatever reason, he's not into it.

10:27 Drew Whether it's his wiring, is there anything we should know about him? Does he have any medical problems, anything?

10:31 Um, no.

10:32 Caller I mean, I don't think it's anything I'm doing because I mean of any of the, Amanda, don't skip right over what I asked.

10:38 Adam Listen, idiot, nobody asked you if it's something you were doing.

10:41 Drew Well, I did bring that up, but my question this time.

10:43 Adam Well, earlier you said, is there any medical problems?

10:45 Drew Yes, that's what I want to know. Anything going on medically, injuries, medication?

10:49 Caller No.

10:51 Drew Was that a no?

10:52 Caller No, nothing.

10:53 Drew Nothing, all right. So that's just him.

10:55 Adam He ain't into it.

10:56 Drew Yeah, for whatever reason.

10:58 Caller Okay.

10:58 Drew Sorry.

10:59 Adam Does that break your heart?

11:01 Caller A little bit.

11:03 Drew Why?

11:04 Caller Why?

11:04 Drew You should be relieved.

11:05 Adam You've dodged your bullet.

11:07 Caller Yeah, I don't know. It's just something I enjoy doing.

11:10 Adam Okay. Well, God bless you.

11:12 Drew And Godspeed.

11:14 Adam It's so sad that somewhere there's a guy who loves the hell out of this and can't get it.

11:20 Drew I know.

11:21 Adam And then there's Amanda who loves doing it and can't be hooked up.

11:24 Drew We can't put those together?

11:26 Adam That's what I'm talking about.

11:28 Drew What is it about life? Yeah, there is a place for these dating services. Do you like to?

11:32 Adam No, there is. Look, believe me, the gays got that all figured out. What are you, Grecoactive? No, I'm a bottom. Okay. Oh, Grecoactive.

11:41 Drew Well, now that they have a bunch of stuff they put on themselves is to let you know.

11:44 Adam Yeah, no, I'm-

11:44 Drew Bunch of flags and devices and-

11:46 Adam Yeah, no, I'm a Omega Passive. Oh, okay, you got to- You're in the wrong line.

11:52 Drew These guys.

11:53 Adam You're in the Brown Bandana line. That's the wrong line. Yeah, they work it all out. You know why? Because it's guys. Yeah. Guys in charge. Yeah. This ends if this is a guy. This is like, look, you're not into, oh, okay, well, I guess we're breaking up. I got to get with a guy who enjoys whatever fill in the blank is. The blank could be my ass, too, by the way.

12:14 Drew By the way.

12:15 Adam Guys don't, see, gays don't do this. They're smart.

12:17 Drew They don't put up with that. Why should they?

12:19 Adam They speak freely. John?

12:22 Yeah, I'm here.

12:23 Adam You're 18?

12:25 Caller Yeah.

12:25 Adam What's up?

12:28 Caller I wanted to know if, like, if ever, like, that loss of testosterone and like hormones and men could cause those stretch marks, like make them more prone to stretch marks, at least.

12:40 Drew Loss of testosterone. Yeah, if you suddenly...

12:42 Caller Not lost, like, not having enough or whatever that means.

12:46 Drew Well, this excess cortisol will cause stretch marks and sudden weight increase of any kind. Even if you've taken anabolic steroids like testosterone, it causes a sudden muscle growth, you'll get stretch marks.

12:59 Caller What about, like, ointment-type steroids like hydrochlorizone or something?

13:05 Drew No, not so much. They can cause more of a... They can, but more likely to cause a discoloration of the skin and blood vessels that kind of show up on the surface.

13:13 Caller John? Okay, but it can... It will, like...

13:16 Drew Where are you going, John? Just be specific. You're so clandestine. You're trying... You're like building a case. What is it you're doing that you want to know about?

13:23 Caller Well, like, I want to know if there's excessive masturbation because you lose testosterone when you do that.

13:29 Drew No, A, well, excessively, you can drop off a little bit.

13:32 Adam Oh, really?

13:33 Drew Yeah, sorry. Well, there's actually a sweet spot where it'll increase, testosterone will go up for masturbation. And then if you really go too far, it can kind of head off the other side.

13:41 Adam For me, it's three and a half a day.

13:43 Drew That's where... That's your sweet spot?

13:44 Adam Yeah, the half is tough.

13:46 Drew Yeah, but it's not going to cause stretch marks. Not. Not unless you're gaining weight.

13:49 Adam John?

13:51 Caller Yeah? John?

13:52 Adam Junior College?

13:54 Caller Yeah, actually.

13:56 Adam Really?

13:57 Caller But I'm on my way to UC Davis. Of course.

14:01 Drew Of course.

14:01 Caller Almost there.

14:02 Drew On his way, then back to Junior College.

14:04 Adam 200 short more years. He's gone his way to UC Davis, pick up a brochure, and then it's back to Junior College for another 40 years.

14:10 Caller Yes. My cousin actually did the same thing. He's in UC Davis right now.

14:14 Adam All right.

14:15 Drew Well, it's happened. Adam, how dare you?

14:17 Adam All right.

14:17 Drew One reported case.

14:19 Adam Damn. What is that? I got recruited to play football at UC Davis. I know that would be good. But damn, that's the name of their team. It's driving me nuts. I used to see it on that.

14:30 Drew Like a sage hint. No, wait a minute.

14:31 Adam UC Davis. Now they got a weird name. Damn.

14:37 Drew It's an animal, yeah?

14:42 Adam I'm going to figure it out. Ted?

14:44 Caller Yeah.

14:45 Adam Ted, you're 19.

14:46 Caller Yep.

14:47 Adam What's up?

14:49 Caller I was watching Comedy Central the other day and I saw your ugly mug up there for a new show that you got coming out or something like that.

14:58 Drew What is that about? What is the impulse to say something like that?

15:02 Adam He's just joking. He's just joshing around. I got a show coming out on Comedy Central after the Daily Show in about a month and a half or something like that.

15:13 Drew What time will it be like? What time is the Daily Show on?

15:17 Adam It'll be on 1130. My show will be on 1130 at 12. Half hour. It's sort of kind of like a Larry King type show. It's like a talk show, but not a big talk show.

15:29 Caller Yeah. I'm excited, man. I was real happy to see that I was jumping around.

15:33 Adam Jumping around? All right, Ted. Well, look, if you like me, you'll like the show. And if you don't like me, you'll hate the show.

15:41 Caller There you go.

15:43 Adam Thanks, Ted. Yeah, that's what I was explaining to the executives the other day, where they were trying to figure out campaigns and where do we launch and who do we talk to, and what about print ads and all that. I was just like, look, if people like what I have to say, they'll watch the show. If they don't, they're not.

15:58 Drew You saw my thing. They had a huge launch, the ads everywhere, same number with the launch as the next week without the launch. Same number. I actually went up a little bit.

16:05 Adam None of those do anything. I don't really know. There's a certain percentage of life that really doesn't go one way or the other. It just costs money.

16:15 Drew But you are obliged to do.

16:16 Adam You're obliged to do it.

16:17 Drew Some Geneva Convention has decided this must go on.

16:20 Adam It's the parsley by the side of the plate at the restaurant. You never eat the parsley. You just look at it, usually just knock it off the side of the plate, but yet they put it there.

16:31 Drew It's frightening not to do it. What if we could have made a difference by doing it? If things flop, what if you could have made a difference?

16:38 Adam To me, it's more like we have a whole floor in this building dedicated to doing this. So they need to do this. The Aggies. You're like, well, the Aggies.

16:49 Caller You select because everyone's calling.

16:51 Drew UC Davis Aggies.

16:52 Thanks.

16:54 Adam Thanks, Anderson. The Aggies is UC Davis' team. Here's the thing. If you don't do this, then you're out of a job. We got to close this floor down, so don't worry about whether it works or not, and let's not even look into it. And by the way, there's no way to ever figure it out.

17:09 Drew Yep.

17:10 Adam I can tell you that, you know, movie posters put up does not really, the amount of posters you see, the amount of commercials you see doesn't really, doesn't really change things that much. I don't think there's any quantitative difference there. And as a matter of fact, here's a good argument, Drew. If you see something you don't like, you'll go, screw that.

17:31 Drew You might avoid it because you see something. Yeah, you might be as likely to avoid, you mean?

17:35 Adam Well, let's look at it this way. Let's say there was a car you really hated.

17:39 Drew Yeah.

17:39 Adam Or a chick you really thought was unattractive.

17:41 Drew Yeah.

17:42 Adam And somebody said, Drew, I want you to buy this car. So I'm going to put on every billboard. Well, every time you pass it, you just hate it more. You know, like, now I'm definitely not getting that car. Or I'm definitely not going on a blind date with that chick because I've seen it and I don't like it. How many times you see movie advertisements or TV new show launches where you just look at it and you go, oh, that looks like a flaming turd. I'll definitely not be seeing that one.

18:06 Drew Or not only that, if you see a lot of stuff, you go, oh, oh, it's overcompensation.

18:10 Adam It feels like overcompensation. But that's all I'm saying. You know, you could probably dissuade people from watching your thing just from them watching. And I don't like that guy.

18:20 Drew People are pretty savvy, you know what I mean, about what they're saying. Yeah, yeah.

18:23 Adam It's all just part of the, you got to do it. You know what I think it is to, I think it's for the talent half the time, half the time.

18:31 Drew To make you feel like you're.

18:32 Adam Yeah, not, not you. But I mean, if you're doing a new sitcom with Jennifer Aniston, you have to do a bunch of stuff, so Jennifer Aniston feels good about it. You know, going, we're giving a big launch.

18:43 Drew We're putting it behind you.

18:44 Adam We're buying it. Yeah, we're getting behind, we believe in it. We're getting behind you, so we're going to waste a bunch of money on it. You know what I'm saying? Alex?

18:53 Caller Yeah, hello.

18:54 Adam 18?

18:56 Caller Yeah, I'm 18.

18:57 Adam What's up, Virgin?

18:59 Caller Yeah. Oh, I'll be honest. First off, oh, actually, you know I was a guy. I'm surprised.

19:05 Adam Okay.

19:07 Caller Everyone thinks I'm a girl, it serves.

19:09 Adam No, when I hear a dude that sounds like a chick, I hear Virgin. I don't hear chick.

19:14 Drew All right. What's the question, Alex?

19:16 Caller Okay. Currently, this is happening.

19:18 Adam Chicks don't say hello. That doesn't sound like Mr. Mooney.

19:21 Caller No, no, no. I'm sorry. I just heard a big static thing and I was like, what happened? Did they disconnect me or something?

19:26 Adam Okay. What's up?

19:28 Caller Okay. I'm on several medications and one of them is missing. I'm out of it and the pharmacies are pain in the ass, but I have a couple on. No? Okay. Anyway, it's a pain in the butt to get a new medication. So I'm out of it for like at least another week, I'm guessing.

19:52 Drew Why is it a pain in the neck?

19:54 Caller Because it's just that it's, I don't know, it's like you call it in, they've actually lost it at times.

20:01 Drew So you didn't order it ahead of time? You ran out before you reordered?

20:05 Caller We still have like a week left and then like they either lose it or like it just isn't there or...

20:10 Drew All right. And so what's the medication?

20:13 Caller This one right now is Seroquel.

20:18 Drew Yeah, you're gonna be fine. There's no withdrawal from that, but how much do you take of that?

20:22 Caller Oh, I don't know. Four, four, no, two pills, two pills at night.

20:26 Drew And how much in each pill?

20:28 Caller Uh, huh? Oh, I don't know.

20:30 Drew It comes in 50s, 100s, 200s.

20:32 Adam Do they have numbers on them?

20:33 Drew It should say Seroquel, 100 milligrams.

20:36 Caller It's in the triple digits. I know that.

20:38 Drew All right, so it's probably 100 milligrams.

20:39 So it's two of them.

20:41 Drew Yeah, you're gonna be all right. You might have some trouble sleeping and you might feel a little agitated off it.

20:45 Caller Three days off. Yeah, I have three days without sleep.

20:48 Adam What's up, Alex? What's he got? What's he got going in his life?

20:53 Bipolar, OPD, ADAD, Korea form.

21:00 Caller I've been something about dysgraphia, but that's not psychological.

21:05 Drew Well, the Korea form thing is more of a Tourette's. Tourette's sometimes do this kind of thing.

21:09 Adam Oh, really?

21:10 Drew Yeah.

21:10 Caller It's like a dance or something.

21:13 Adam Interesting.

21:14 Drew St. Vitas dance.

21:15 Adam Interesting.

21:16 Caller Hey, Alex.

21:17 Adam Alex, quiet down, quiet down. You sound smart in even...

21:23 Caller World War II aircraft.

21:25 Adam Even... You know World War II aircraft.

21:27 Caller Good. Nice. 262, my favorite first jet-propelled aircraft ever.

21:31 Drew This is the advantage being OCD.

21:32 Adam Yeah. You just sit home and read. Well, it's also the advantage of not getting laid. You get smart.

21:37 Drew You gotta put that energy somewhere.

21:39 Adam God says to 17-year-old males, you want to be smart or you want to get laid? Most guys just run right for the laid.

21:46 Drew They all raise their hand that way. But they go, no, no, no, nope, nope, nope, sorry. You back there, back to the spot.

21:51 Adam He ends up kicking 80%. Yeah. I was the idiot who didn't go either direction. I just stood there like, I, I, I, I'm, you know what? I'm kind of on the... And then they just slammed both cages and I couldn't get into either one.

22:02 Drew And that's when you became an atheist right then. You lost all faith in God.

22:04 Adam And not getting life.

22:05 Drew Yeah, yeah.

22:06 Adam Yeah. Awesome. All right.

22:08 Drew Let's take a break, shall we?

22:09 Adam Yeah.

22:10 Drew Yeah.

22:10 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

22:11 Drew Before you start crying.

22:12 Adam Medication. Oh, man. What is it, Drew? What is, what is the deal with the pharmacist in this city? Is there some sort of law that says, not only can you not speak a look of English and, but I can't recognize what you are. You know what I mean? Like if I, you know, I carry a ethnicity laminate, my wall, I like to break it down. Yeah. Cheat sheet. Yeah. Let's see. Oh, there's a difference between Mexican Nicaraguan. Did not know that. But you know, it has all the big one. It has the big, like the top 20 on there. These people are not in the top 200. I have no idea what the national, I don't think they do either. And whatever broken form of whatever they're speaking, it's always difficult to understand. And it's just crazy. But what is that, Drew? Who made it a law that pharmacists can just have no, they don't resemble anything you've ever seen?

23:06 Drew Only in Southern California.

23:07 Adam Is that only in Southern California?

23:09 Drew Yeah.

23:09 Adam Cause then I go home, then I go home and I turn the TV on and oh, there's old Pops Madison there. And he's got his bifocals and he's looking down and he's going, you know, I just looked on my charts and it says here, you're diabetic. You don't want to take this. Let me go ahead and mix you up something. And then I go to my guy and I got the Johnny Quest villain guy screaming at me in some broken tongue. I have no idea what's going on.

23:32 Drew Guy, guy even. That's good.

23:33 Adam Oh, I did find a guy.

23:34 Drew Oh, wow.

23:34 Adam Yeah. Usually it's, it's usually crazy.

23:37 Drew Diminutive.

23:40 Adam Drew, these are people, obviously they're intelligent. Here's my theory. Here's my theory with all pharmacists. They are doctors or something close to it in their other country. They're amazingly well-educated people in their other country. They came over here, nobody could understand what the F they were saying, and they couldn't be physicians because people had no idea, they couldn't communicate with them, but yet they had these degrees.

24:06 Drew So they did a four-year program here.

24:07 Adam They did a four-year program here. The Rite Aid in Hollywood hired them, and now I can't understand a thing they're saying.

24:12 Drew There you go.

24:13 Adam Is that what had to be of what happened?

24:15 Drew For a period of time, that probably is that period of history.

24:17 Adam Like 750 years, as far as I can tell.

24:19 Drew Roughly, yes. Give or take.

24:21 Adam I guess it's better than some hot chick in there, some like hot blonde, and you're in there trying to get the herpes cream, and they're like, whoa, big weekend.

24:30 Drew No, Mr. Crawler.

24:33 Adam Is that crab, is that crab shampoo come in a tub, or is it just a squeeze out?

24:38 Drew Well, for you, Mr. Crawler, you may require the tub, but don't forget the little comb.

24:41 Adam We have a dipping barrel. Yeah. No, I don't, yeah, that's what I'm saying, Drew. But probably better yet. Probably better off this way, yeah?

24:49 Drew Of course.

24:49 Adam Same reason you used to buy your condoms in Koreatown, yes? Chinatown. Pardon moi. We'll take a quick break. Wait a minute, can we go to break? What are you doing with all those condoms? Do you sell to friends? No, I'm a whore. Don't I know you? Yeah, Drew scoring condoms in Chinatown. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

25:40 Drew Yeah.

25:41 Adam Producer Anne at the helm tonight. Let me tell you something.

25:44 Drew The engineering helm, that is.

25:46 Adam The engineering helm. She's normally at the helm of the helm, but now she's, this is like a ship, and she's the captain, and she doesn't.

25:55 Drew Take the wheel that off.

25:56 Adam No, she will, she takes the wheel, but if she's got to go down the engine room.

26:00 Drew Oh yeah.

26:01 Adam And grease some bearings.

26:03 Drew And get the navigation system up.

26:06 Adam Or go down to the galley.

26:09 Drew She'll do it.

26:10 Adam And start rattling them pots and pans.

26:12 What's she doing?

26:12 Adam Yes, Anderson.

26:13 Drew I'm confused.

26:14 Adam What's she doing?

26:15 Drew Yeah, why is she doing that?

26:16 Something.

26:17 Drew She's doing Chris's job tonight. Which is nothing.

26:19 Adam Don't say Chris's job. It makes it seem like anyone can do it. So why is she doing it? She's doing Michelle's job. Yeah.

26:25 Drew Why?

26:26 Yeah.

26:28 Drew And Anne's own word. Oh, she can even pot herself up.

26:30 Throw your mic down there, Anne.

26:31 Adam Yeah.

26:31 Drew This one says announcer, ANN.

26:33 Adam Yeah.

26:34 Drew Michelle knows it.

26:35 Adam What happened? Michelle's not here. Rick is here.

26:38 There she is, yeah.

26:39 Justin Long Somebody didn't show up for work. Nice.

26:42 So, yeah.

26:43 Justin Long Why don't you explain to them what the job is, Anne?

26:45 That'd be good.

26:46 Justin Long Chris's job. It's actually quite difficult.

26:49 Caller You have to push two buttons, and that's about it.

26:52 Caller Yeah.

26:53 Adam But then what about 30 seconds in the show when Anderson yells, turn the gas up? Then you have to pot up the gas.

27:00 Caller Yeah, will you do that for me, Anderson?

27:02 Drew Yeah, I already did it.

27:02 Caller I said turn Drew up.

27:03 Adam You didn't hear me?

27:04 Drew That was before she sat down.

27:06 Adam That was before, yeah.

27:07 Drew No, that's good. Everything's perfect right now.

27:09 Adam Well, there you go. And I don't know if this is... There's no unions, is there? Shouldn't radio engineers be in some kind of union? Do they have unions?

27:19 I think we all hate each other too much.

27:20 Adam How can Chris be in a union and get $10 an hour?

27:23 Drew Must not be a union.

27:24 Adam All right.

27:24 Drew At least not when they would have Chris or Anderson.

27:26 Adam Let's...

27:27 Drew I'm just saying.

27:28 Adam No.

27:28 Drew I'm just saying. I don't mean that...

27:30 Adam Hey, we're just hearing, brother.

27:34 Drew 26.

27:35 Adam All right. I'm already bothered. Bipolar, OCD, Germany, Florida, Oxycontin.

27:40 Drew Oxy-tosin.

27:41 Adam Oxy-tosin. Kelsey?

27:44 Yes.

27:44 Adam You're 22?

27:46 Caller Yeah.

27:48 Adam Kelsey's one of those names for a chick that could go hot but could go south too. It's an old name.

27:54 Justin Long I went hot, so...

27:56 Adam Oh, you went hot?

27:57 Justin Long Yes.

28:00 Adam What do you look like?

28:02 Justin Long Let's see. I'm 5'8. Well, I normally have brown hair, but it's kind of got like blonde in there right now, and I'm very pretty. I get told a lot I look like Julie Roberts, but I don't see it, but I've got that kind of look.

28:16 Drew You're fat.

28:17 Adam Well, why can't you see it, by the way, when someone tells you, a lot of people tell you, you look like this person?

28:22 Justin Long I just don't think I do.

28:24 Adam Well, I've been described by Jimmy as an ugly Pete Sampras, many times. I don't know why I put the word ugly in front of there, so you look like Pete Sampras.

28:32 Justin Long You do look like him. I've been thought of that.

28:34 Adam All right. But I don't go, oh, no.

28:37 Drew How dare you?

28:38 Adam Yeah. I go, all right, well, he's got nappy hair and a big eye brown. He's dark complexion.

28:43 Justin Long I take that as a compliment and I thank them.

28:45 Drew All right, Kelsey, what is the question? Here we go. What's the question?

28:50 Justin Long Okay. So I've got two weeks left to go in my pregnancy.

28:54 Drew Your voice.

28:55 Justin Long And I'm wondering if there's any way other than sex I can get my body to make big amounts of oxytocin. Or if there's any other way I can help speed up the process.

29:06 Drew Hang out. What's the problem?

29:09 Justin Long I want to go into labor.

29:12 Adam To get you into labor?

29:13 Drew No.

29:13 Adam Drew, is that what women produce when they have sex?

29:16 Drew Yeah.

29:16 Adam They think they produce?

29:18 Drew I mean, it helps as sort of a bonding hormone. When you have the baby, you'll be flooded with that hormone.

29:25 Justin Long Isn't that what they give you or some type of it to...

29:29 Drew Look, look. Kelsey. Yeah. When do you do?

29:34 Justin Long July 5th.

29:35 Drew All right. That's when the baby is going to come. Just relax.

29:38 Adam Why do you want to have... I mean, I understand you're uncomfortable, but you don't want to have it prematurely.

29:44 Justin Long Yes, I do. I'm so uncomfortable and it's so hot. And he's huge. He's going to be like a nine-pound baby.

29:52 Drew Are you diabetic?

29:54 Justin Long What?

29:55 Drew Are you diabetic?

29:56 Justin Long No.

29:57 Drew No, he's not going to be nine pounds.

29:59 Adam Who else?

29:59 Justin Long Who's kid? They just said from the ultrasound that if he keeps growing the way he is when I go full term, he's going to be like eight and a half pounds.

30:07 Drew Yeah, maybe eight and a half pounds.

30:08 Adam Do you have another kid?

30:10 Caller No.

30:11 Adam Oh, who's that in the background?

30:13 Justin Long Oh, that's my niece.

30:15 Adam Oh, how old is she?

30:17 Justin Long She is four.

30:20 Drew Yeah, an induction.

30:21 Adam What's she doing? Why are you living with your niece?

30:23 Justin Long Oh, well, my sister and I live together, so.

30:26 Drew Why?

30:28 Adam By the way, why are you living with your niece? Oh, her and her mom. My mom and I live together. Yeah. Yeah. No ass. What's she do? Drop out of what do you do? Kindergarten or play time or nap time? She dropped out. She's on her own.

30:43 Drew She's living with her auntie.

30:45 Adam She's driving. She's got a permit to operate heavy machinery, but she's on disability right now.

30:50 Drew I'm imagining something like that girl.

30:52 Adam I'm talking about the four year old.

30:53 Drew Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

30:53 Adam Yeah.

30:54 Drew Going to the city on her own.

30:54 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kelsey. OK.

30:57 Justin Long We all live together.

30:58 Adam Oh, I see. I see.

31:00 Caller Why?

31:02 Why?

31:04 Justin Long I don't know. We always have. So it just.

31:07 Adam Well, everyone always lives with their siblings until they smarten up and move out and have a family of their own.

31:14 Justin Long We will eventually. I mean, when I get married and stuff, I'll go.

31:18 Drew Why aren't you married now?

31:19 Justin Long Why aren't I?

31:22 Adam No, why isn't your three year old niece married?

31:27 Justin Long Oh, my sister, she was.

31:30 Adam Does your sister have a husband?

31:35 Drew Well, it's a tricky question. How dare you trick trick question.

31:38 Adam Give me a few minutes.

31:38 Drew Okay, give a breath.

31:40 Adam Yes. Divorced, all right.

31:42 Drew And how about you?

31:44 Justin Long Me, no. I haven't found one yet. I chose Mr. Wrong, so.

31:48 Adam All right, so what's up with you two? You just, your thing is you're just gonna, how old's your sister? Is she older?

31:55 Yeah.

31:56 Adam A couple years older?

31:58 Justin Long Yeah, just a couple.

31:59 Drew They're just gonna have a little farm.

32:00 Adam Yeah, we can just sit around, crank out kids and live together?

32:04 Yeah.

32:05 Adam What's up? Where's your dad? Is he gone? Is he out of the picture?

32:08 Drew Your abuse of abandoning dad.

32:09 Justin Long My dad? Oh, I never knew my dad.

32:11 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

32:12 Adam Well, there you go.

32:13 Drew Yeah, the circle of life proves itself again.

32:15 Adam Hakuna Matata. Your kids won't know their dads and neither were your sisters, so it's awesome.

32:21 Justin Long No, they do.

32:22 Adam They do?

32:23 Drew No, they won't.

32:24 Justin Long Yeah.

32:24 Adam How's your kid?

32:25 Drew You said to yourself, you're gonna get married and have a family, and that's it.

32:27 Adam Where you gonna get married to?

32:30 Justin Long Haven't found him yet.

32:31 Adam All right, well, I'm guessing that's not the guy who got you pregnant unless he's built some sort of time machine. So your kid's not gonna know his dad. That's fine. Where is he? Where's the dad?

32:44 Caller The kid's dad?

32:46 Adam Yes. The baby? Yes.

32:48 Caller Oh, he looks-

32:50 Adam Your kid, your child. Okay. Please, Kelsey, do me a favor.

32:56 Caller Oh, my.

32:58 Adam Do not go home from the hospital with your child. Go to the junior college and to shove the kid in the mail slot. That's it. Get him started early, because I can smell junior college from like 300 nautical miles. Kelsey.

33:13 Justin Long Yes.

33:14 Adam The person that got you pregnant, he's a man.

33:18 Justin Long Yeah.

33:18 Drew He looking like a man.

33:19 Adam He looking like a man. Now, where is he?

33:23 Justin Long Well, he lives here, and we're going through issues right now, but-

33:28 Adam Do you think you may marry him?

33:30 Justin Long No.

33:31 Drew How dare you? Why would she remind the world?

33:33 Adam But he lives with you. No. Oh, he lives here. You mean Earth?

33:39 Justin Long No, we're not together.

33:40 Adam I know, but-

33:41 Drew You said he lives here.

33:43 Justin Long He lives in the same town as me and stuff.

33:45 Adam Same town. All right. Well, at least that's refreshing. He might run into the kids somewhere on the street, although they won't recognize each other. But I think a father has an instinct about that.

33:55 Caller Sure.

33:56 Adam All right. So I'm just curious how the guy who fathered your child is going to know your child. You're going to share custody?

34:07 Justin Long I'm not sure yet.

34:08 Adam Okay.

34:09 Drew This whole deal about you taking over your pregnancy and inducing labor, a horrible idea. Kelsey, you should not be making decisions like that. You follow the direction of people who know what they're doing, and that's that. Same thing is true with your child once it's born. Have a pediatrician, take care of the child, do what they tell you to do, and that's it.

34:26 Adam Yeah, and we'll see if this guy makes the kid's third birthday.

34:30 Drew He didn't even go to junior college.

34:32 Adam No, no, but I'm saying, God willing, the kid does.

34:36 Drew Yeah, things improve generation to generation a little bit.

34:39 Adam I'm starting to figure out the average time spent in junior college, like 26 years, but if you go ahead and shove your kid through the mail slot when the kid's six weeks old...

34:47 Drew They can finish at 26.

34:49 Adam They'll finish at 26 instead of a 44. You see what I'm saying?

34:53 Drew Absolutely. All right. That's a good plan.

34:55 Adam You know what? No, I'm not kidding. Literally. I'm literally not kidding.

35:01 You're literally shoving kids through the mail slot.

35:03 Adam Literally shove the fetus through the mail slot.

35:07 Drew Hey, Adam.

35:08 Adam No, wait a minute. Cut out the middle man. You birth into the mail slot.

35:13 Drew Just had birthing slots at the junior college.

35:16 Adam Birthing slots.

35:17 Drew And just held up a sign about the iTunes. She'd like me to mention that again.

35:19 Adam Go ahead.

35:20 Drew First 10 callers. That would be Kelsey amongst them. Wins an iTunes gift certificate worth $99 if you're 18 or older.

35:27 Adam Yeah, tonight. I get the feeling if Kelsey heard music coming from a small object, you try to pry it open and let the band out. All right, let's not be, Drew, come on, let's go.

35:37 Drew Come on.

35:37 Adam Kelsey sounds like the light. Yes. I listen to my iPod all day today. It's a wonderful device. Ben?

35:45 Yeah.

35:45 Adam You're 20?

35:46 Caller Yep.

35:47 Adam You have an ingrown toenail?

35:49 Caller Yeah, for about 11 years now.

35:52 Drew Well, some of those, those tend to be sort of genetically based.

35:55 Adam How does that work?

35:57 Drew One of my sons has this too. His nails just sort of are genetically set up that way. Sometimes they even curl in.

36:02 Adam They just grow into the skin?

36:03 Drew That's just the way you're set up.

36:04 Adam Is that gold ingrown?

36:05 Caller That was another one of my questions. If I could have inherited, because I know like I've had uncles, grandfathers, same problem.

36:13 Drew Yes, it is a genetic disorder. And basically the treatment is either pulling the whole nail out or at least cutting the part off that's ingrown.

36:21 Adam I'm amazed at the percentage of people that have funky feet. It's a weird thing because not that many people have funky ears. You know what I mean? Well, your ears develop.

36:31 Drew You see a guy with a weird ear. Your kidneys, interestingly, people have kidney problems, have ear problems. But the feet is a thing that develops late in the periphery.

36:40 Adam Well, it's the fetus.

36:42 Drew Feet-us, see?

36:43 You're right.

36:45 Adam Well, here's what I'm saying. Women and men, even beautiful women, you see their feet sometimes like, whoa, what goes on here? What happened here? And I see a lot of people like funky, flat. I see the people with the second toe that's like an inch longer than the big toe and weird, weird angles, weird stuff. And I'm amazed at the percentage of people that just have strange looking. And I guess there's plenty of opportunity for God to f up because you got the 10 digits down there, you got the 10 digits upstairs. That's 20 things that go wrong where years only two things that could really go wrong. You know what I mean?

37:21 Drew Yeah.

37:22 Adam My-

37:23 Drew Developing late too.

37:23 Adam My wife was, my wife said, the other day, she said, give me your hand. So I took my hand, she took my fingers, took my fingers, and she like threw them back at me and went like, and I went, what's the problem? She said, no problems. Nothing she can cut or pick or push or tame. You know what I'm saying? And then I started realizing, I have beautiful, beautiful fingernails. Look at them.

37:46 Drew Oh my God. Oh Adam, I'm taken with this.

37:48 Adam Look at this, it's beautiful, pristine, yes?

37:51 Drew We have to go to the bathroom.

37:52 Adam And let me tell you something about nails too. Same thing as all this other crap. Not a cuticle stick, not ever soaked in anything. It's either you have good nails or you have bad nails. Everything, Drew. BO., bad breath, everything.

38:07 Drew Genetics.

38:08 Adam Just genetics. Some people stink, some people have bad nails, some people's hair falls out.

38:12 Drew But good times.

38:13 Adam Yeah, but is it the shampoo or how they brush or how they bathe? Is it any of that stuff? Now let's look at the toes, Drew. No, no. Look at the toes. Nice looking. They're attractive, yes? Attractive toes.

38:26 Drew Ooh, little smell.

38:28 Adam Little smell, but you know.

38:29 Drew Oh, you got a little bit of the ingrown stuff here.

38:30 Adam I was working out. Little ingrown?

38:31 Drew Little bit of the curling in stuff.

38:33 Adam Little, little bit.

38:34 Drew It never bothers you though, huh? You never wear shoes. You were saying that.

38:36 Adam That doesn't feel like anything, though. They're nice though, right?

38:39 Drew They look youthful.

38:40 Adam They're youthful. They're good looking feet. Yeah, mm-hmm. The other one's fine, too.

38:45 Drew The ugly Pete Sampras' feet.

38:46 Adam I didn't know, yeah, if Pete Sampras had ugly feet. That's what the, yeah, like, yeah. I didn't know that most people's feet were different sizes, either.

38:54 Drew What do you mean different sizes? On one in one another. Oh, yeah, yeah.

38:57 Adam If one another. Not if you're from the world's poppy. It's me and Asian women. I thought we're all like 11 and a half.

39:02 Drew Yes, from one another, yes.

39:03 Adam Yeah, like a half off.

39:04 Drew Yeah.

39:05 Adam I never, I didn't figure that out until like six months ago.

39:07 Drew Are yours the same exactly?

39:09 Adam No, they're a half off. So I would try to randomly try a shoe on and go, oh, this 10 and a half is way too tight because I would try it on my 11 foot.

39:17 Drew But you want to do the big foot though, because.

39:19 Adam But I don't, I didn't know it until six months ago. The next time I would try the 11 on the 10 and a half foot and go, these are too sloppy. See, I'm an idiot. All right, Drew, you know the name of the thing that measures your foot? Huh?

39:34 Drew No.

39:35 Adam Brannock device.

39:36 Drew Brannock. Interesting.

39:37 Adam Brannock device.

39:38 Drew Well done.

39:38 Adam Yeah. We will take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll talk to Vanessa as Harry Niple. See, bad hand. All that after this. Loveline.

39:49 Drew Wait. Wait. My hair.

39:52 Adam My hair. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody, it's The Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Tonight, our guest, in the reason, sorry, I didn't bring Justin up. Justin Long's here from Herbie the Love Bug, fully loaded, it's just Herbie fully loaded. I don't think it's Herbie the Love Bug. When we were growing up, Drew, I think it was Herbie the Love Bug. But Justin had a little trouble with the car service, and tonight was the big premiere, yes?

40:41 Justin Long Yeah, it was, I'm sorry by the way that it was out of my hands, and you know these car services.

40:46 Adam It's all, all is forgiven. I just didn't, I didn't plug Justin because I wasn't sure if he was going to make it in or not. But here he is, and we're tickled pink, are we not?

40:56 Drew Yes.

40:57 Adam Justin, I know him best from Jeepers Creepers and Jeepers Creepers 2 because I love that kind of stuff. But you may know him from Crossroads, which was another movie by the way, and I didn't know you could do this. I mean, that's the Britney Spears thing. But the point is, is there was another movie with Ralph Macchio called Crossroads. It was made in like 88 or 70.

41:18 Justin Long He was like a country singer.

41:20 Adam He was like a blues singer.

41:22 Justin Long I'm often compared to Ralph Macchio.

41:23 Drew Oh, you're spitting image.

41:25 Justin Long I'm today's Ralph Macchio. I wish I was.

41:28 Adam When Macchio left the scene, there was a huge void left behind him and Justin's here to fill that void.

41:34 Justin Long I'm trying, it's very flattering.

41:35 Adam Drew's done the same thing except for with a boring guy. A boring guy left Celebrity. I don't know who it was. There was an opening and Drew slid in. Yes, when Gutenberg left, Drew slid in. There you go. The show, the movie, I should say, Herbie Fully Loaded starts June 22nd. Is that this Friday, Thursday? I think so.

41:55 Justin Long Wednesday.

41:55 Adam Wednesday. Yeah. Wednesday release. And it's a Disney movie, I'm guessing, right?

42:01 Justin Long Yeah.

42:01 Adam And you got the still redheaded at the time, Lindsay Lohan.

42:05 Justin Long Yeah, she was still in the red phase.

42:07 Adam How's she doing? Diane Keaton? Oh, Maine Michael Keaton. Sorry.

42:12 Justin Long Diane Keaton stopped by a few times. Wanted to be in the movie.

42:15 Adam Well, she saw her name on a trailer and just decided to head in. And what about Matt Dillon? How's he to work with?

42:23 Justin Long Matt Dillon was great, man. You know, he's done a lot of things in his day, so he's a little... He's great, though. I'm a big fan. I loved him.

42:34 Adam I'm digging his brother in Entourage, by the way. I enjoy that show. I know people think I'm a lightweight because I enjoy it.

42:40 Drew No, I heard it's a good show.

42:41 Adam It is a good show, but it's one of those shows that people are kind of like they're sheepish about admitting they like it, but it's good. What the hell?

42:49 Justin Long It's like Ace Weekly.

42:50 Adam Yeah, yeah, you'll read it.

42:51 Justin Long You can admit it.

42:52 Adam Yeah, you'll pick it up. So the movie and what's your role in the movie? What's your part in the movie?

42:58 Justin Long I'm sort of like the dude. I guess it's just her friend, her maybe love interest, kind of G-rated lover.

43:04 Adam Do you get to kiss?

43:05 Justin Long We kiss. We G-rated kiss.

43:08 Adam So you got you kiss Britney Spears and you got Lindsay Lohan?

43:11 Justin Long Yeah.

43:11 Adam That's pretty good.

43:12 Drew I got Lindsay Lohan. Up top.

43:14 Justin Long You can't see this, but I'm trying to high five it.

43:16 Adam Yeah. No, Drew, pow. Nice job, Drew.

43:18 Drew Well done.

43:19 Adam I was watching like My Entertainment Tonight and Hilary Duff. I've had a secret.

43:25 Justin Long I'm dying to work with her.

43:26 Adam Crush on for many, many, many years now.

43:30 Drew Well, you know what that means?

43:31 Adam Yeah. Taboo kind of crush on her.

43:33 Drew Found out, you know what?

43:34 Adam Found out she was going out with one of the lead singers of The Charlotte. Good Charlotte. And I thought, oh, I got to start a band. Yeah. One of our good Charlotte buddies. It's like you ogre stay away from my beauty. Showed a picture of him with his eyeliner and his big gut and schnoz. And I thought, God, if you want to know why to start, you know why? This is why you got to get in a band, everybody. I mean, nothing wrong with the good Charlotte boys. Just get in a band. I mean, I was just looking at my, you know, pristine blonde headed princess, and she's with this guy. And I thought to myself, oh, this is why you get in a band. You remember the good Charlotte boys.

44:18 Drew Oh, yes.

44:18 Adam Nice guys. But not remember.

44:21 Drew Well, I forget which one that we said. He said, I love this show. I would do it every night. We could come back whenever you want. You show up the next night.

44:27 Adam Oh, yeah, that's right. That's true.

44:29 Drew He's like, come back every night. And could we go, come back, come back? They show up the next night.

44:32 Adam Yeah, yeah. We got to watch out.

44:33 Justin Long We didn't mean that literally.

44:35 Adam Yeah. But that was about a year ago or so. Well, we like the good Charlotte guys.

44:39 Drew But I mean, Benji did that.

44:40 Adam Benji did that. Joel is the one that's getting his hands on Hillary. I think his brother Joel is putting his grubby paws all over my beautiful Hillary. Yes. You know what I mean? She was gonna stay pure for me, or at least that's how I, you know, that's part of the note that I made when I just cut out letter.

44:57 Drew Blah, blah, blah, blah.

44:58 Adam Newspaper. Yeah.

45:00 Drew Let's take a call.

45:00 Adam You want to take a call?

45:01 Drew Yeah, yeah. Don't. No call. No call?

45:03 Adam No call.

45:03 Drew No call?

45:04 Adam No call. You don't want to take a call?

45:05 Drew No calls.

45:05 Adam Well, guess what, brother? Guess what that earned you? Pow, we're taking a phone call. What do you think of that?

45:10 Caller Uh-huh.

45:11 Adam Try to control me?

45:12 Drew Devastated.

45:12 Adam Vanessa?

45:14 Caller Yes?

45:14 Adam You're 19?

45:15 Caller Oh, God. You guys just got me right when I'm in the toilet room.

45:19 Adam Wow.

45:19 Justin Long The toilet room.

45:20 Adam What's the toilet room? You're in the toilet room. That just sounds like a living room with a toilet in it.

45:24 Justin Long I'm playing Clue.

45:25 Adam So do you have nipple hair?

45:29 Caller Yeah, like five of them.

45:30 Justin Long Speaking of Hilary Dove.

45:31 Drew Yeah.

45:32 Justin Long Oh, I don't know.

45:33 Drew Too much information. Yeah, that's a normal and a common thing there, Vanessa.

45:39 Caller I know. Okay, okay. Like if you shave them, will it like be worse or should I wax them?

45:45 Adam I bet you pluck them.

45:46 Drew Yeah, if it's only five of them, you might as well kind of pluck them. But there are electrolysis and laser and other things that can be done if they get to be more recalcitrant.

45:55 Adam Yeah.

45:55 Caller Okay, but if you were to wax them, would that like irritate the areola?

45:59 Drew Um, no.

46:00 Adam Yeah, you could do it. Well, you wax your bikini area.

46:04 Drew Wouldn't that hurt?

46:04 Justin Long Um, can you, is that too sensitive an area to wax?

46:09 Adam Well, I have sensitive nipples, Justin, it's true.

46:12 Drew I test you. Yeah, even you pluck yours with great regularity.

46:15 Adam Oh, my nipples, yeah. Yeah, that's my thing, yeah.

46:19 Drew So, but I think plucking might be a little less traumatic to the ear.

46:21 Adam I go plucking. I tried to pluck something this weekend and I have a...

46:25 Drew From where?

46:26 Adam I had a hair grown out of my ear.

46:27 Drew How did I ask that?

46:28 Adam I had a hair grown out of my ear. And here's the thing, bad tweezers. Is there anything worse than bad tweezers? And they're the crappy ones that are sort of... They're not machined at the end. They're just sort of cast, you know? And the ends are sort of small and round and you keep... And you think to yourself, who invented these goddamn things? I want to kill them like on your fifth try and then right back into the drawer. They should be thrown away.

46:52 Drew My wife has a series of those tweezers that you could do neurosurgery with.

46:56 Adam Oh, really?

46:56 Drew Oh, absolutely.

46:58 Adam I got to get some of those.

46:58 Drew Especially fitted stuff.

47:00 Adam Oh, it's like a snowblower and a grappling hook that blows out of one. You could repel down a building.

47:06 Drew It's more of the sort of hand-fitted-in-your-hand and surgical aircraft steel.

47:10 Adam Is there any... Like, I don't know if it's worse. I don't know what's worse, bad scissors or bad tweezers, but is there anything that is less gratifying to use where you can't get at something? Where they don't connect? Yes. They're sort of rounded off and you're trying to... About your...

47:24 Justin Long Like the Swiss Army knife.

47:25 Adam Your 28th try on the same hair and you realize maybe it's not me. Maybe it's these tweezers, but I need to throw them away. I put them back in the drawer and then I use them a month later. All right, Justin Long is here tonight from Herbie Fully Loaded.

47:40 Justin Long Yeah, hairy nipples abounding.

47:42 Adam Yeah, go ahead and use a little duct tape, rip those right off. And if the nipple comes off on the duct tape, you got to stick it back on and then leave the duct tape on until the thing heals. That's the thing.

47:51 Justin Long I'm curious, Vanessa, have you tried anything to get rid of that?

47:55 Adam No. I'm going with no. Just pluck them, don't shave them. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. There, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Justin Long is here tonight from Herbie, fully loaded. The Donnas later on this week, Bad Religion later on this week, and the Foo Fighters later on this week.

48:58 Justin Long Wow, all good bands.

49:00 Adam Much, yeah.

49:01 Justin Long Much better than me.

49:02 Adam No, well, music, musically, yeah, but there's no way one of those Donnas could have played a VW. I'll tell you that right now. I don't know. Well, the one is a little heavy set, but I don't think car size drew.

49:16 Drew No, no.

49:17 Adam No, no. I mean, that's unrealistic right there. The original Herbie, the Love Bug, they probably made like three, what'd they make? Three of them?

49:26 Drew Two of them?

49:27 Adam How many did they make?

49:27 Justin Long They made four.

49:28 Adam Four of them.

49:29 Justin Long Four or five. There was a TV one a couple of years ago with Bruce Campbell, the guy with the big chin.

49:33 Adam But the movie, oh, well, sure. Yeah.

49:35 Justin Long Donnas was in one.

49:36 Adam Army of Darkness. Yeah, he's a cult classic.

49:39 Drew The very first one is one we all think of, I think.

49:41 Adam The theater, in the theater.

49:43 Drew And that was with that guy that was also in, in all those Disney films. Don's, what was his name?

49:49 Justin Long Dean Jones.

49:50 Adam Dean Jones was in everything, but Don Knapp was in, Buddy Hackett was like the mechanic.

49:57 Drew And I believe even the guy that played the dad in Mary Poppins was in that. I see it was a Rolls Royce dealer.

50:02 Justin Long The one with the little mustache.

50:04 Adam And, yeah, they're really, see back in the day. There were like nine actors. Drew, don't bounce the mic.

50:09 Drew There were like five that worked for Disney.

50:11 Adam There were five that worked for Disney and nine overall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was like four bikers. They did like every Clint Eastwood movie, there's a fat guy with the beard.

50:22 Drew There was eight bad guys, Western.

50:24 Justin Long They were all Shakespeare trained, very gay.

50:28 Adam Anytime you did a movie where you needed a biker or Western guy, it was always the same guy. You just got used to seeing them. And after a while, I just figured well, that's the biker. He's a biker. He's a biker in every movie.

50:40 Justin Long But. Nigel Covington.

50:41 Adam Herbie was probably, what, Drew? Late 60s? Justin, don't you have to do some homework on this?

50:47 Justin Long 68, 69? I had a question that they said, you know, it was the second highest grossing movie that year, like 68, 69. I said, what's the highest? And they said, I was like, is it the graduate? I thought it was the graduate. They said it was butch cast in the 70s.

50:57 Drew I would have put it the same year as butch cast. That's what I said.

50:59 Adam Oh, you would have?

51:00 Drew Yep.

51:01 Adam Why did you make the ooo when I?

51:02 Drew I would have put it the same year. I don't know what year that was.

51:05 Adam Butch Cassidy and Sundance skits was probably like 71 or 72.

51:08 Justin Long No, it was 68. Oh, really?

51:10 Adam Oh, really? Maybe I saw it later on.

51:12 Justin Long A great year for movies.

51:13 Adam Herbie and butch Cassidy.

51:15 Drew What was it that things used to stay in the theater for like two years?

51:18 Adam I think things used to come back in the theater five years later too.

51:23 Drew Because there's no DVD, no VCR.

51:26 Adam Yeah, it'd be like, oh, you've not seen Rosemary's Baby.

51:30 Drew It's coming back.

51:31 Adam Came out in 65 and now it's 75. It's back out again or whatever. They just bring stuff back. I don't think they do that anymore. All right. So where were we, Drew?

51:40 Drew To Germany or Florida.

51:41 Adam Oh, Germany or Florida.

51:42 Drew Oh, wait, I gotta tell them about the ten colors tonight. They've gotten an iTunes gift card valued at $99. Those over 18 will get a $99 iTunes gift card.

51:49 Adam Justin went to Vassar College, by the way, Drew. Drew loves colleges.

51:54 Justin Long Really? Have you been to Vassar? It's a great place.

51:56 Drew My niece went there. No, I went to Amherst. And some of them left all the small schools.

52:00 Justin Long One of the schools that we all wanted to go to.

52:02 Adam What did you study? Study air-cooled flat four engines or something? That's VW's air-cooled, not a liquid-cooled engine.

52:11 Drew Yeah.

52:12 Adam What did you study over there? Acting?

52:13 Justin Long I know. I was a philosophy major. My dad's a philosophy teacher. Cool. So I got the philosophy bug.

52:21 Drew What kind of philosophy?

52:22 Justin Long I don't know. What kind? I did Plato. My dad does neo theology, more theology, philosophy like Aquinas.

52:33 Drew St. Augustine. Nice. Where did he teach?

52:36 Justin Long Fairfield University, Connecticut.

52:38 Drew That's where you live. That's where you grew up.

52:40 Adam We don't talk to Brian or do you want to talk to somebody else?

52:43 Drew We can talk to Justin.

52:44 Justin Long Brian?

52:45 Adam No, no. We stop.

52:46 Justin Long We're excited to do this.

52:47 Adam Yeah. Brian? Yeah. What's up?

52:50 Drew I'm reading the Confessions right now, strangely enough.

52:52 Adam I had a friend who was a philosophy major, but he was at CSUN, which is weird like a philosophy major in Northridge somewhere.

52:59 Justin Long They study like fortune cookies.

53:00 Adam He just argued with me on everything. Everything I brought. Then I would give into him and then he would argue my point. There's a lot of arguing.

53:08 Drew I read the Confessions. I believe it's the first big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. St. Augustine was clearly an alcoholic sex addict. Clearly.

53:15 Justin Long Yeah. When he was offered the woman to come in and he was like beat her out.

53:19 Adam Who's St. Augustine?

53:20 Drew He's a bishop from like the 5th century, who basically wrote the first sort of philosophical theological treatment, harkening back to Plato and just sort of creating a philosophy.

53:33 Adam It's a good name for a micro-bro. That pertains to like St. Augustine. Yeah.

53:38 Drew But he created a just way of thinking about things.

53:41 Adam St. Augustine's Lager.

53:42 Justin Long St. Yeah.

53:43 Adam It's a good micro-bro name. Drew, patent that. Would you are at least a registrar?

53:47 Drew I'm sure it's out there.

53:48 Adam Okay.

53:48 Drew So he was a sex addict and he had to overcome all that stuff and he had it by going cold turkey and becoming sort of a monastic kind of guy.

53:58 Adam Well, you decided he was a sex addict, but everyone is a sex addict, right?

54:02 Drew Oh no, he complains. He all through the confession is always talking about how his problem was sex. His problem was sex. He couldn't give up.

54:08 Adam Maybe like the lads or the ladies?

54:11 Drew I wondered if the confession was not a full confession. I mean, there was some of that in there, but he only talks about the ladies.

54:16 Justin Long But it may have been because when they brought in that woman, they hired basically a prostitute for him and he beat her out of the room with it. Oh really?

54:22 Drew Later. Once he gave it all up, but he had lots of kids.

54:25 Adam Now, is this Herbie fully loaded or is this you're still talking about Augustine?

54:29 Justin Long He was Herbie's.

54:30 Drew Herbie's. Herbie's loaded.

54:31 Justin Long He was upset with all the diseases he got.

54:33 Adam Brian? You're 18? What's up?

54:37 Caller Hey. Oh, by the way, this Germany Affair is pretty appropriate for the conversation. Okay. It's about a theologian who was unfortunately shot. So yeah. Yeah.

54:48 Justin Long That sucks.

54:49 Drew Here we go.

54:49 Caller All right. A 42-year-old man was sentenced to 12 and a half years in prison for shooting a pastor to death on the street last August. The murder occurred shortly after the defendant ran over two bicyclists with a stolen car. The pastor followed him and convinced him to pull over. But when the theologian tried to call the police with a cell phone, the man opened fire with the stolen gun, hitting the victim twice in the head. The defendant, who was drunk at the time of the shooting, said his life had fallen apart because his wife wanted to leave him.

55:17 Adam Uh-huh. All right. Germany or Florida? Well, you got the gun, packing the gun feels Florida. But running over the bicyclist feels a little German.

55:25 Drew Really? Because of the bicyclist? Yeah, yeah.

55:27 Adam You guys on bikes, you hit two of them.

55:28 Drew What's the chance of that in Florida?

55:30 Justin Long There's a theologian, too.

55:32 Adam The theologian is packing a cell phone.

55:39 Drew Maybe there's something about the theologian this gentleman is withholding from us that would clue us in.

55:43 Adam The fact that he hit him twice in the head, though, means he could shoot.

55:46 Drew Clear water and he's a Scientologist. I don't know.

55:50 Adam I'm going Germany on this one.

55:51 Drew I'll go Florida.

55:53 Justin Long I'm going Georgia. Georgia.

55:54 Drew No, no, it's Germany or Florida?

55:55 Justin Long Oh, okay. Florida.

55:57 Adam Florida. We got two Floridas and one Germany.

55:59 Drew Here we go.

56:00 Adam Brian?

56:00 Caller Like usual, you are right.

56:03 Adam Wow. Thank you. To me, it was the accuracy, the two slugs in the head.

56:06 Caller Yeah, yeah.

56:07 Adam And drunk. Yeah, that's a German.

56:09 Caller Hey, Adam, my girlfriend actually has a physiological advantage, you know, talking about all these negative things that, you know, our callers are having physically, you know. She actually does not produce any body odor at all.

56:25 Adam Your girlfriend?

56:26 Caller Yeah.

56:27 Adam Well, that's what you think, because you love her.

56:29 Drew Yeah, you smell.

56:29 Adam I got a whiff of her.

56:31 Justin Long My girlfriend doesn't.

56:31 Caller Deodorant or antiperspirant or anything like that. And it's actually, I looked it up and she doesn't produce any lipids, which I think odor-causing bacteria.

56:40 Drew No, Brian. No, no.

56:42 Adam It was also the name of the hyena.

56:44 Drew She produces something you just don't smell.

56:46 Justin Long That's one thing.

56:47 Drew When people accommodate very rapidly to somewhere they're around all the time, you just stop smelling their stuff.

56:52 Adam Some people have a funk.

56:53 Drew Some people produce very, very little. And that has to do with the kind of bacteria. It has to do with sebaceous gland.

56:59 Adam Yeah, he's not a scientist. He's just needing it with a computer.

57:03 Drew Something called apocrine gland. If you look this up, look up the apocrine glands and the kinds of bacteria that live on the skin.

57:08 Adam That's a good name to trademark for a wine cooler.

57:11 Drew Apocrine gland.

57:12 Adam Yeah. Sign me up. Yeah. No, here's what we were talking about, Justin. We were just talking about, it's an interesting philosophical question. We need to scapegoat. Human beings need to scapegoat. And if a guy smells or a girl smells either, even it's like, hey, slob, why don't you take a shower? I mean, this guy never shouts, you know, you have to immediately start laying all this sort of negative hygiene things, or you get into the person's lifestyle. Look at her, a pig, a sweaty pig, or, you know, fat people are pigs and they're slobs or have some self-esteem. People that smell, smell for the most part. People that smell for the most part. I'm not talking about hobos. I'm talking about, you know, the guy at the gym, the professional, the guys who you work with, who got some fun going on. They smell and they usually know they smell, and they oftentimes try to overcompensate by taking two, three showers a day and putting on extra deodorant and stuff. When you smell, you smell. And that's the thing. Now there's, you know, this much diet and there's this much stress and there's this much whatever. But smelly people smell. And I don't know why we need to punish them for it.

58:19 Drew It's just like the ones that produce smelly gas, which you're not one.

58:22 Adam Thank you. Although I had it working tonight.

58:25 Drew Occasionally you produce.

58:28 Justin Long The gas is more related to the genes. It's not what you've been eating.

58:31 Drew Well, you either can do it or you can't. And then you can have certain foods, certain people, different foods. Well, there's certain... Adam can rarely produce. Rarely. Rarely.

58:42 Justin Long Are you sure you can't?

58:43 Drew No, rarely. He produces lots of sound and lots of volume.

58:47 Justin Long I wish I was that guy. I wish I could be that guy. I'm like silent and...

58:50 Drew The methane guy.

58:51 Adam Yeah. It's tough on dates. You know what I mean?

58:54 Justin Long Sitting on it is the worst. You have to build up and...

58:57 Adam No, but yeah, some... And if you know you're bad, you can't do anything. But at least you guys know you're bad. Here's the thing about me. I'm good 95% of the time, so I get a false sense of confidence every once in a while. I try to squeak one out in a movie theater and all of a sudden, oop, that was a bad one. You know what I'm saying?

59:14 Drew When you're bad, you're...

59:17 Adam Yeah, but here's the old thing. Your fart smell, it's just the bacteria you have in your belly, right? And your underarm smell, it's really just your glands and what you produce, it's you. It's not because you don't shower.

59:30 Drew Well, it would make it worse if you don't shower, just like if you eat horrible things that produce all the methane.

59:34 Adam Most people you know shower. I shower less, oh, Drew, who showers less than me?

59:38 Drew Nobody.

59:38 Adam Who smells less than me?

59:39 Drew Nobody.

59:39 Adam So then how does it work?

59:41 Drew Zero genes.

59:42 Adam Thank you.

59:42 Justin Long Is this a myth, then, Drew, that, because I have a friend who does that, I have a couple of friends who, if you don't use a lot of soap, you don't use deodorant, you go for a certain amount of time and then you just end up smelling kind of not good, but you don't produce as much body odor.

59:55 Adam What about that, Drew? What about the oils and the essences? What about stripping them away? Doesn't your body try to replenish that?

1:00:02 Drew Your body may do a little bit of that, but you're not going to do away with smell by not showering. You may do away with some of the need for bathing and things, then the oils and the grease and that kind of stuff may sort of reach a sort of homeostasis. But the smell part, we go to Europe sometime.

1:00:18 Adam I was in Europe and I was behind this Rasta guy that had a just helmet full of Rasta hair that just literally hadn't seen water since the late 60s. I stood behind him in like the customs line or the passport line was one of those two hour lines where you just stand behind a mountain of smell. This guy, this guy made a George Clinton smell like a stick up.

1:00:47 Justin Long Who? George Clinton has a bad odor.

1:00:51 Adam Oh, well close your eyes for a second and just picture George Clinton. Oh yeah. Just kind of picture him for a second. Now close those eyes. Now picture George Clinton, the godfather of soul or the whatever the hell he is. Godfather of funk.

1:01:05 Justin Long I was thinking of Bill Clinton's brother.

1:01:06 Adam Yes, the funk. No, no, that's a different one. Now picture the godfather of funk, George Clinton, the multicolored huge hair. Anytime you see the dreads, there's going to be a prom in the funk department. Then he's a large man.

1:01:19 Justin Long Yeah, he's got like a whole ecosystem.

1:01:22 Adam Oh, oh my God. And just.

1:01:25 Drew The humanity.

1:01:25 Adam Oh, yeah. Now, now put yourself behind three of him in line for two hours. And yes, at a certain point, you're like, listen, dude, I don't care what your crappy religion tells you to do. I'm dying here. How about you hit a shower once in a while? Yeah. Out of respect. All right. Drew, any of those religions where you don't have to shave and you never get a haircut and, you know, you just walk around with the Hasidic Jews. I got 10 feet of fresh packed powder on top of their backs. The dandruff is just falling. Like, is it just me or is this just convenience that the religion says they got to hang out all day and not shower and never shave and never do anything?

1:02:03 Caller Ron Jeremy's not religious.

1:02:04 Adam Oh, that is awful.

1:02:06 Caller He smells awful.

1:02:08 Adam Ron Jeremy has a little, oh.

1:02:10 Drew I don't want to think about it.

1:02:12 Justin Long He looks like he would smell really good.

1:02:15 Drew Oh my, it's a big surprise.

1:02:17 Adam Erica?

1:02:19 Yes?

1:02:20 Adam Oh, those poor ladies, they just got to be, look, couldn't you just drug a bear and have him fall on top of me? We should get this over with. Really? Got to have Jeremy on top of me? Yeah, go ahead Erica.

1:02:34 Hi, I haven't gotten my period for three months and I've been on birth control for about-

1:02:41 Adam Let me say this, it's the head. It's the head that holds the stink.

1:02:45 Drew The hair.

1:02:46 Adam The pits are bad, but it's the noggin.

1:02:48 Drew It can be pretty bad, a special stink can be bad.

1:02:51 Adam Big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big.

1:02:55 Drew I feel like vomiting now with all this discussion.

1:02:57 Justin Long Jeremy, he's got a big hair suit sort of.

1:03:00 Adam Yeah, let me say this. Bald guys don't bring too much funk with them.

1:03:06 Drew Oh, yes, they do.

1:03:07 Adam Well, that's if they're wrestling with you or something, but you don't stand behind a bald guy in line and go, funk. Right. No, the hair holds in.

1:03:14 Drew The hair is nose level. That's where your schnoz is.

1:03:17 Adam Hair's like, oh, you've been smoking, dude, or you ate this, or you've been smoking weed.

1:03:22 Drew I'm going to bark at him. All right.

1:03:24 Adam Picture Jeremy, and that porn set gets hot during summer.

1:03:28 Drew I know. That's my stomach just turned.

1:03:30 Justin Long If you bark, it'll smell a lot like-

1:03:32 Adam Yeah.

1:03:32 Drew There you go.

1:03:33 Adam Picture Chatsworth in August.

1:03:35 Justin Long Ron Jeremy's balls.

1:03:36 Adam Well lubed Jeremy's going for a double BP on you.

1:03:38 Justin Long So, Erica, can I just say this to you, Drew? Ron Jeremy's balls. Anything?

1:03:42 Drew I don't normally have a delicate stomach, but tonight you've done to me.

1:03:45 Adam Erica?

1:03:46 Yes?

1:03:46 Adam You're 19?

1:03:47 Caller Yes.

1:03:48 Adam What's up?

1:03:50 Caller I haven't gotten my period for three months, and I've been on birth control for about three years now, and I will want to...

1:03:56 Drew What are you taking?

1:03:58 Caller Ortho, Tri-Cycline Low.

1:04:00 Drew Okay. Have you had a pregnancy test recently?

1:04:03 Caller Yeah. I've had like a couple of at-home pregnancy tests, the one at the clinic, and they all come out negative, but I wanted to know if it had anything to do with me smoking marijuana.

1:04:18 Drew You know, I can't say that it does. There would be a lot more pill dysfunction if POD had a significant effect on that, because a lot of people use that drug, and that doesn't seem to see... Although anything can affect the function of your pill, I'd be more inclined to think that it's the fact that it's the low-dose triphasic that you're on that can be more likely to cause problems like lack of period.

1:04:38 Adam What percentage of 20-year-old chicks or 19- to 25-year-old females in this country are on some pill form of birth control?

1:04:47 Drew I don't know. It must be at least 50%, I would think.

1:04:50 Adam Well, maybe not at least, but it's up there.

1:04:53 Drew Let's say 50%.

1:04:54 Adam Millions and millions.

1:04:55 Drew Yes, millions and millions.

1:04:56 Adam And the amount of them that smoke some weed.

1:04:59 Drew Also millions and millions.

1:05:00 Adam Right.

1:05:01 Drew And the dysfunction of the pill is on the order of.03%. Right. All right, Erica. So what should you do?

1:05:06 Adam Get it adjusted?

1:05:07 Drew Yeah, you may want to go on the regular triphasic pill, not just the low, and talk to your doctor about that, okay?

1:05:11 Justin Long Erica, where do you get your weed from?

1:05:15 Caller Well, I get it from a friend, actually, that sells.

1:05:20 Adam Oh, I see. They get it from someone who sells pot.

1:05:23 Justin Long I'll write that down. That's bizarre.

1:05:25 Adam I normally get it from Amish guys dressed in Santa suits, but you get it from a pot dealer. I see.

1:05:33 Drew Amish guys in Santa suits?

1:05:35 Adam Yeah, let me write that down. Pot dealer.

1:05:37 Justin Long That's a good idea.

1:05:38 Adam So I'll just write drug dealer. So that way.

1:05:41 Drew Makes it easy.

1:05:42 Adam If you want to know where to get the coke or to get the heroin, you get it from the dealer.

1:05:46 Justin Long Makes sense.

1:05:47 Adam Makes sense. Yeah. Here's my relationship with marijuana now. People give me pot and my friends smoke it until it's gone. That's how it basically works. But if you're going to entertain, you're going to be hip Hollywood like I am. You got to have some weed around the house. You know what I mean? People come by. They want to talk out. They want to know if I'm cool. Also, pot smells great now, Drew. Have you smelled any pot recently? Now remember back when you were scoring those dime bags a shake, back in the day, you would have to bury your face inside. Like you buy a bag of weed and you have to shove your face in it. The face would actually suffocate from inhaling the Ziploc bag it was in. Now, guy pops open his cam, his film case, you're on the other side of the room, it's like, what is skunk fart? What is that? What's going on in here? And it's like, oh my God, I can smell that pot from down the street. You can't even really transport pot anymore.

1:06:44 Drew It smells so much.

1:06:45 Adam Remember when like Be Real would come in and give me some weed?

1:06:48 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:06:48 Adam I have to drive home holding it outside of my car. Yeah. Be Real from Cybersale would come in every once in a while.

1:06:58 Justin Long I didn't know those guys smoked pot.

1:07:01 Drew You wouldn't think.

1:07:04 Adam I know. You see, that's why you can't judge a book by its cover.

1:07:07 Justin Long I thought hits from the bong was a metaphor.

1:07:09 Adam No, no. Some of them. I don't think the entire band of marijuana addicts, smoke marijuana cigarettes. No, I don't.

1:07:18 Drew Only on 420.

1:07:20 Adam I don't. But I do know that the lead singer of the band, at least at this point in time, had marijuana on it.

1:07:26 Drew I've flown with those guys before. The moment they hit the ground, they begin searching.

1:07:31 Justin Long What percentage of their songs was about smoking pot? I would guess it was over 50.

1:07:36 Adam Somewhere between 100 and 110%. Say a little over 100%.

1:07:40 Justin Long They have some nice power ballads.

1:07:41 Adam They owe 10% pot songs.

1:07:44 Justin Long You take pot residuals?

1:07:46 Adam They actually have to write five more pot related songs. Yeah, well listen, go for what you know. That's all I'm saying. It's made them literally millionaires. They're laughing all the way to the park to score more weed.

1:08:00 Drew Oh boy, if they could just give back a portion, get back a portion of what they've spent.

1:08:04 Adam Oh, be real. His pot is so pungent, so when he gives me pot, I don't know how I'm going to get it home. I'm going to have to create some sort of pot-proof little locker in order to transport it.

1:08:16 Drew Bobo finally gave up pot. You could see like came to life again.

1:08:19 Adam Bobo gave up pot?

1:08:20 Drew I've heard for a while. I don't know if he got treated or what.

1:08:22 Justin Long Oh really?

1:08:23 Adam Word on the street?

1:08:24 Drew Bobo.

1:08:24 Adam He'll be back.

1:08:26 Justin Long Yeah. How does a guy named Bobo give up pot?

1:08:28 Drew That's a hard thing to do. He might change his name to John.

1:08:31 Justin Long All right.

1:08:32 Adam You're ready to take a break?

1:08:33 Drew Yeah. Take a break? Yep.

1:08:35 Adam All right.

1:08:36 Drew Oh, this is always interesting here.

1:08:38 Adam Recently masturbated for first time, now doing it eight times a day?

1:08:42 Drew Yeah. Adam Corolla story.

1:08:43 Adam This is Jeff.

1:08:44 Justin Long I had called earlier.

1:08:46 Adam Jeff?

1:08:47 Caller Yeah. Hey.

1:08:48 Justin Long What's up?

1:08:49 Caller Hey.

1:08:50 Caller Is this Dr. Drew?

1:08:52 Adam Yes, that is Dr. Drew.

1:08:55 Caller So I don't know what to do about my problem.

1:08:58 Justin Long All right.

1:08:58 Caller Hold on.

1:08:59 Drew I got bogus.

1:08:59 Adam Now I got bogus too.

1:09:01 Caller Jeff, you know what I think that was?

1:09:03 Drew Your friend.

1:09:03 Justin Long That was my brother.

1:09:04 Drew Yeah.

1:09:05 Adam Jeff, this is bogus.

1:09:06 Drew Yeah, we can tell bogus. Christian, well done.

1:09:08 Justin Long He wants to be an actor.

1:09:09 Adam He got nothing. He wants to be an actor.

1:09:10 Drew Yeah, you got to work on your technique, boy.

1:09:12 Adam Keep your day, John.

1:09:13 Justin Long I want to talk about my problem. Come on, buddy. You can do better than that.

1:09:17 Adam Is this Christian?

1:09:18 Justin Long I love you, though, Christian.

1:09:19 Caller We've been trying so hard.

1:09:22 Caller Yeah, and somehow I can do...

1:09:26 Drew Bogus calls don't work.

1:09:27 Caller Yeah.

1:09:27 Drew They don't.

1:09:28 Adam I know.

1:09:28 Caller I know.

1:09:29 Drew All right.

1:09:29 Caller But it was...

1:09:30 Drew It was a novel idea, though.

1:09:32 Adam Yeah. So is this... This is Justin's brother, Christian?

1:09:36 Drew Yeah.

1:09:37 Caller How's it going?

1:09:38 Adam Going good. Well, it was going fine until that.

1:09:41 Caller Well, I'm sorry.

1:09:42 I'm sorry.

1:09:43 Adam That's all right. You did a fantastic job. We didn't know it was Bogus until three syllables into it.

1:09:49 Drew You got at least three syllables in. Yeah. Normally, yeah. Three syllables. All right.

1:09:53 Adam May I, Jeff, may I suggest a new career? No, I'm going to suggest Cynthia Seghetti's class over at ACME. They meet at the Highland Church over there on Sundays in the basement. It's a little, you know, it's basic. It's who, what, where. Not only that, but, you know.

1:10:09 Caller I like it. OK.

1:10:11 Caller All right.

1:10:11 Adam Thanks. You want to say hi or bye, Christian?

1:10:16 Caller Well, hi and bye, I guess.

1:10:17 Caller All right.

1:10:18 Adam Try to refrain from having sex with Justin's obviously hot girlfriend.

1:10:22 Justin Long She's very honest.

1:10:23 Adam Until he gets back to the hotel. And then you may.

1:10:26 Justin Long Do you have any, any?

1:10:27 Caller I'll just take his time over there and I'll do what I can.

1:10:31 Justin Long Do you have any suggestions for bogus colors that may be interesting? I mean, like that, obviously, that's a bad way to go to be like, look, I have a problem to like lay it out so indirectly.

1:10:38 Adam Yeah.

1:10:39 Justin Long Is there a way to?

1:10:40 Drew To get around us? You got to really know how people would behave in certain, you got to understand real pathology. You have to have seen it. Maybe you saw a family member go through it or something. And then you got to act it out exactly. And you got to understand why somebody would call a radio station to discuss it.

1:10:55 Adam Right. No, I'd say the biggest. Well, what are the two biggest red flags for bogus?

1:11:00 Drew The biggest red flag for us is we don't we don't feel it. We don't have any affect attached to it.

1:11:05 Adam How they sound, yeah. How it makes us feel.

1:11:07 Drew Two is no question. Why did you call? I don't understand why you call.

1:11:12 Justin Long They're just saying I have a problem.

1:11:13 Drew No, their problem is should I confront somebody or what should I do as if people don't call.

1:11:18 Adam Right. But it is no question with a proclamation of a question. Yes, because we oftentimes have no question calls that aren't bogus. This is I have a question, but I don't have a question.

1:11:30 Drew Yeah.

1:11:31 Adam The bogus is I'm going to ask you a question, but it's not not a question.

1:11:34 Drew All right.

1:11:35 Adam Justin Long is here with his brothers.

1:11:39 Drew Your mother's thing was now I'm doing this eight time a day. Normal, like normal question mark or help question mark.

1:11:44 Adam Right.

1:11:44 Drew No, not a question.

1:11:46 Caller It's awesome.

1:11:48 Justin Long All right.

1:11:49 Adam Well, it's nice to be validated every once in a while.

1:11:53 Justin Long I love you, Chris.

1:11:54 Adam Herbie, fully loaded out this Wednesday, the 22nd of June. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

1:12:26 Justin Long Hey, everybody.

1:12:28 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam. I'm funny. That's Dr. Drew over there. Justin Long is here tonight. Justin is going to be starring in Herbie Fully Loaded, which seems like they've been... I've seen billboards.

1:12:43 Drew I've been hoping for a while.

1:12:44 Adam I've seen billboards for this thing for...

1:12:46 Drew Three months?

1:12:47 Adam Four months? Two and change.

1:12:49 Justin Long A good week.

1:12:50 Adam June 22nd, which is coming out this coming Wednesday. And what else you got going, Justin?

1:12:57 Justin Long Oh, God. Where do I begin? Actually, my girlfriend and I were in a movie coming out in September called Waiting with Ryan Reynolds and Louis Guzman. I did the Mike Judge movie with Luke Wilson. About to start a movie with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. Yeah, so... Wow. I'm playing a crazy redneck now in a movie with the guys who did Napoleon Dynamite, so I have this wonderful mustache. You can't see it. I wish you could. I wish you could all see this cool mustache.

1:13:23 Adam It is hot. It's not like you drank some cocoa. It's a post-umstache.

1:13:29 Justin Long Some dirt.

1:13:31 Adam It is an object.

1:13:32 Justin Long Dirty Sanchez.

1:13:33 Adam It's a good look. It is a hot look. Yeah, and Ryan Reynolds, great guy.

1:13:39 Justin Long Is he great?

1:13:39 Adam Remember him, Drew? No. Three guys who grew up on a pizza place?

1:13:42 Drew Yes. I do remember him.

1:13:44 Adam That's Ryan Reynolds, right?

1:13:45 Drew Yeah, yeah, I think so, yeah.

1:13:47 Adam Yeah.

1:13:47 Drew Good guy.

1:13:47 Adam Am I right?

1:13:48 Justin Long He's a good guy. Yeah, he was on this show.

1:13:49 Adam Great guy.

1:13:50 Justin Long Yeah.

1:13:50 Adam All right, you ready, Drew?

1:13:51 Justin Long Yep.

1:13:53 Adam Let's talk to Chris. He's 23. Chris?

1:13:57 Yes.

1:13:58 Adam What's up?

1:13:59 I actually have two things. One, Adam Corolla, you're awesome.

1:14:03 Adam Thank you.

1:14:04 Justin Long, you are an extremely talented actor.

1:14:08 Adam He knows he was telling us during the break. What's that? Unique voice.

1:14:13 He has a very distinct voice.

1:14:15 Justin Long Thank you very much.

1:14:17 You did an audio book for Stephen King.

1:14:21 Justin Long Yeah.

1:14:22 I was wondering if you had any other plans on doing any more audio book work.

1:14:29 Justin Long This is a bogus call. Really? No, that's awesome. Thanks, man. Yeah, I would love to. That stuff's fun. You just kind of sit and do...

1:14:38 Adam As soon as he's done working with Aniston and Vince Vaughn, he's going to go right back to the classics on audio.

1:14:43 Justin Long No, I didn't.

1:14:44 Adam It's an ancient line. I mean, you know, that's big money.

1:14:47 Justin Long No, it was fun. I know you try to pull out all the... I like to do impressions.

1:14:55 Adam Yeah.

1:14:55 Justin Long I'll do a couple for you if you like. No, but I remember...

1:14:58 I appreciate it.

1:14:59 Justin Long No, but I remember just kind of doing... You know, you have to read all the different characters and it's fun to kind of...

1:15:04 Adam Do you do them all? How does that... I've never... Drew gave me a book on cassette, but then I don't have a cassette in my car, so I don't listen to it.

1:15:10 Justin Long You just sit down and read. You usually get like a couple paragraphs in and they'll stop you if you kind of mess up on a word. Your mouth gets really dry. Yeah. I remember this...

1:15:19 Adam Do you read the entire book in the studio?

1:15:21 Justin Long Yeah. You just kind of read through it. It's fun.

1:15:24 Adam How did they find you for that?

1:15:25 Justin Long I had done, I don't know, I had done like a Judy Blume book or something like, you know, like I'm going through puberty in one of those books and I think from that, I don't know how I got it.

1:15:36 Adam Is there just sort of a... I always wonder, like when Fabio was like the number one model for Harlequin romances, it's like, I'm always like, you guys couldn't go to any junior colleges, find a guy from the baseball team that looked good with a shirt off? No, no, he does all the work, this guy. But, why?

1:15:57 Drew Oh, you know this business.

1:15:58 Adam Well, go ahead and draw some muscles on the other guy. No, no, he does them all. But maybe the audio book world is that way too. Maybe it's just a very small list of people they choose from.

1:16:10 Justin Long Well, you know, those voiceovers, it's amazing. You find like a lot of people, even those car commercials, a lot of them are like Kiefer Sutherland and like Billy Crudup, and they're like kind of big, like Donald Sutherland does a lot. They're like these big people who do like kind of tags, like, welcome to Saab, like, you know.

1:16:24 Adam Yeah, I always hear like Richard Dreyfuss, is he from Honda? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he does Honda, but he...

1:16:30 Justin Long He's like, just cash.

1:16:31 Adam Yeah, it's just, they call that no ID stuff, Drew. You don't have to put your name on it. You still make a ton of money. And people sort of know who you are in a subconscious level. I think that's why they like it, because A, it sounds familiar, but it's just sort of soothing that it sounds familiar, but you don't think Richard Dreyfuss when you think Honda.

1:16:50 Drew Right.

1:16:51 Adam Yes.

1:16:51 Drew Yes.

1:16:51 Adam Yes. It's kind of the equivalent to, you know, Kevin Costner going to Japan and doing some Saki commercial for five million bucks.

1:16:58 Justin Long So it's focused on tape. There's no money. I mean, it's just kind of...

1:17:02 Adam But it's cool.

1:17:03 Justin Long It's cool.

1:17:03 Drew Which one's Gene Hackman do?

1:17:05 Adam Hackman does Lowe's.

1:17:06 Drew He does Lowe's.

1:17:07 Justin Long Yeah.

1:17:07 Adam Well, he does Lowe's. That's right.

1:17:09 Justin Long Yeah.

1:17:10 Adam It's true, don't it?

1:17:11 Justin Long This is great stuff.

1:17:12 Adam Yeah. It's awesome. This is gold. True. Drew, that's not for you. That's not your bag.

1:17:17 Justin Long Drew, this is your field. This is it.

1:17:19 Drew Yeah.

1:17:19 Adam All right. You ready to rock?

1:17:20 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:17:21 Adam Drew, you'd like to do a book on Cassette, right?

1:17:23 Drew Sure. Yeah. I've been to that.

1:17:24 Adam Well, you'll do your own book one day.

1:17:26 Drew One day.

1:17:27 Adam Have you done yours yet?

1:17:28 Drew No.

1:17:29 Adam No. But one day, right?

1:17:31 Drew Yeah. And maybe when that day comes, you'll hear it.

1:17:33 Adam I'll hear it. Drew's mad because I haven't read his book, but I explained to him, I don't read. I believe it poisons the mind.

1:17:39 Justin Long It's a sex book.

1:17:40 Drew No, no, no. A book about treating drug addicts.

1:17:43 Adam Oh, it's no sex.

1:17:44 Drew I'm really not reading.

1:17:45 Justin Long You should get Ted Levine. I'm fascinated by the guy from Silence of the Lambs. Put the loosh in the basket. You should get him to do the thing.

1:17:53 Drew Yeah.

1:17:53 Caller Drug addiction is a very difficult, you know.

1:17:57 Adam It also sounds like the teacher from South Park. I think, Drew, I could probably have. Yeah, I could probably get Gilbert Godfrey to do your thing, too.

1:18:06 Drew Then you'd listen, like I'm saying.

1:18:08 Adam Nicholas?

1:18:09 Caller Yeah, hey, guys.

1:18:10 Adam 24?

1:18:11 Caller Yeah, that's right.

1:18:11 Caller I'm Colin from Davis.

1:18:13 Adam Yeah.

1:18:14 Caller I have an experience.

1:18:14 Adam Go Aggies.

1:18:15 Caller Yeah, exactly.

1:18:16 Justin Long Go college.

1:18:17 Caller I have an experience with my current girlfriend and with an ex-girlfriend. I'm sure this is a common problem for listeners. When I'm giving them, when I'm going down, there's been bleeding, vaginal bleeding.

1:18:31 Drew Sounds so chipper about this.

1:18:34 Justin Long I'm fully erect right now.

1:18:36 Adam I'm live the right back. I'm getting there.

1:18:38 Caller To stress? Is that true?

1:18:40 Drew Is it related to stress?

1:18:41 Caller Could it be related to stress or?

1:18:43 Drew Yeah, it could be, but typically there's some women that just have bleeding stimulated by sexual arousal, usually intercourse, not usually oral sex. But that's a-

1:18:53 Caller Too aggressive.

1:18:54 Drew Whatever. That's a common thing.

1:18:57 Adam Take those puka shells off.

1:18:58 Drew And if they're on the birth control pill, some women again tend to have a little more what's called endometrial instability and may be more prone to bleeding.

1:19:06 Adam So Drew, let me say this, you stop me if I'm wrong. You have those sort of mucosal surfaces down there, right? And when the woman gets stimulated, a lot of blood goes to that area. And this thing is sort of the difference between water-resistant, water-proof.

1:19:25 Drew Yes.

1:19:25 Adam This is resistant, but it's not proof.

1:19:27 Drew Right. So stuff may come leaking down.

1:19:30 Adam Yeah. You know what I mean? This is, yeah, you could get it wet, but don't wear it into the pool.

1:19:35 Drew That's right.

1:19:36 Adam That's the difference between water-resistant. The vagina is blood-resistant, but it's not blood-proof.

1:19:42 Drew And there's that, you know, the endometria is sitting there, just a little tiny cervical loss, keeping it from the outside world. And if it's unstable or thickened, stuff just leaks through when you stimulate it or traumatize it.

1:19:53 Adam Mm-hmm. I, speaking of philosophy, was taking a nice walk around my neighborhood yesterday, actually walking the dog. And they're doing some big construction project, tearing off the top of a mountain. And they're working on Saturdays. I don't know. They're doing something. I don't know what they're building. Are they going to develop? No, they're not developing something, but the city is doing something. And so they had those water trucks and backhoes and stuff. It's all on the other side of the hill, but it's the dueling now. And it's awesome because I started, because I'm insane, I started timing them and figured out it was every second. But when you get three trucks all backing up simultaneously, and they're sort of, it's different directions, but it's dueling beeps. And if one truck is every second, then three trucks, well, you do the math. And I was just sort of standing on it. And I thought, it's a beautiful Saturday. I'm out walking my dog. But I'm sort of ruined because eeeep, eeeep, eeeep. And then I realized I can barely see the goddamn trucks from where I'm standing. I mean, it's literally, it is, if I ran to dive under the back of one of those trucks, it would take a good 20-minute hike and that's running like a Pepeon. It's running from those, those evil guys trying to shoot them with the spear guns. You know what I'm saying? I mean, I mean, it's like, ha! And I started going, and I said, A, it's Saturday, and B, that I thought to myself, this is a, this is the top of a mountain. There's not a kid, there's not anyone playing ball. There's no streets. You know, there's no kid gonna go running across a thing, chasing his frisbee or anything like, can you shut the goddamn thing off that there's nobody around except for other construction workers who, nobody on foot, by the way. There's nobody on foot. Here it is. There's, there's like four trucks. There's like, you got a skip loader, you got a back hoe, and you got a water truck. And no man is actually on terra firma. Everyone is behind the wheel, but it's me, me, me, me. Everyone's just beeping away. And I thought, it's sad. Really? And what does the distance have to be on this? Does it need to be three miles? And I just start, I start going ballistic. My, this is my wife. She's like, okay, now you're ruined now. But I was like, how many of these beeps have I heard in my life? Several hundred million. Okay, how many times have I moved? Zero, 700 beeps versus never moved. Most of the beeps I've heard from the safety of my own bed. Mostly in bed, once in a while I'm up in the kitchen. I'm not usually up when I'm hearing the beeps because it's a garbage man. It's early in the morning, it's a garbage truck. But I realized the lion's share of the beeps I've heard have been from inside the goddamn house. I'm not even outside. Really? This is the society we want, everybody? You're Saturdays effed up by these trucks that are dueling miles away from you? What does the effective range of the beep have to be?

1:22:48 Drew This is all OSHA.

1:22:50 Adam I know, but if you can't get behind the vehicle that's going to back you over.

1:22:54 Drew I have to have trash cans in every row in my office that say biohazardous material, even though I don't handle biohazardous material.

1:22:59 Caller Wow.

1:23:00 Justin Long Is the idea, this may sound really dumb, is the idea that there would be somebody within the vicinity of the truck backing up?

1:23:06 Drew Yeah, the idea is...

1:23:07 Adam The idea is there's a...

1:23:09 Justin Long My Prius has it. I back up in my Prius.

1:23:13 Drew Oh, in your car?

1:23:14 Justin Long Yeah, in the car. It's infuriating. If you don't wear a seatbelt, it...

1:23:19 Adam Not only that, but just what goes on inside of a car, every time you open your car door and you're like talking to someone and the key's in ignition because you want to listen. It's like, do we need all that? Here's all I'm saying. Give us the option to shut it off. Just... How fast? By the way, if I said, look, there's a switch in your car, you just go ahead and you punch that switch and it no longer has the thing with the beeps and the clangers, but you just sprint your car and dive on that button. Would you not?

1:23:44 Drew Immediately.

1:23:46 Adam I just thought to myself, really? It's a weekend. It's the morning. I got three trucks going and there's nobody even close to it. Why do we need this? It's your philosophy major. Help me understand this. What can we do about it?

1:24:00 Justin Long I think it's for us to appreciate the silence when it happens.

1:24:04 Drew Oh.

1:24:05 Adam You want to try that?

1:24:07 Justin Long Evil and good.

1:24:08 Adam Let's do it. No, let's do the silence on the air so other people can enjoy it.

1:24:11 Drew Okay, let's go. Oh, that's not silent.

1:24:15 Adam All right, let's really, let's try it again. Justin, let's try silence again this time, see if you can handle, you know, because you kind of ruined it with the slurping noise last time. All right, right now, I'm going to cue silence. I'm going to give a silent cue.

1:24:29 Drew We're running silence. Let's go.

1:24:30 Adam Well, hold on a second, Weisenheimer. I'm going to give a silent countdown on a silent cue. I'll do the five, four, and then the last two. Let's go already. Well, hold on, Drew. You know, like in TV, they do that.

1:24:41 Drew I don't want to do the silencing anymore.

1:24:43 Adam No, I'm going to do it.

1:24:43 Drew Are you ready?

1:24:44 Adam You ready? In five, four, three, two. We gotta try it again. We gotta do it again.

1:24:59 Justin Long Silence is funny.

1:24:59 Adam I got punchy. I, it was like, you know, like when you're like at camp and you're 13, you're like, don't laugh, don't laugh. You can't, you know, you get the giggles. All right, let's try it one more time. You ready? I'm gonna cue silence in five, four. You're giving me the giggles. Drew. Go on, I'm getting punchy. Let's go.

1:25:20 Drew All right. Okay.

1:25:21 Adam This time.

1:25:21 Drew Concentrate.

1:25:22 Adam Yeah, let's just really focus now. I'm going to cue silence in five, four, three, two.

1:25:38 The Radio, the Love Line, the Radio.

1:26:00 Adam Yeah, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew over there, Justin Long, here tonight from Herbie, Fully Loaded, which is, we've decided, in the movie department, the third, they did a Herbie, they did the first one, then I think they must have done a second one, they've done TV shows and stuff, but this gotta be the third or fourth, and I think there's more than that. Don't they make you research that?

1:26:26 Justin Long They did.

1:26:27 Adam Let me tell you, these actors are like...

1:26:28 Justin Long This is number 12.

1:26:29 Adam These actors are like... No, they're like the athletes when Mike Ditka's their coach, and they're like, coach, you played? You played college, you all right? No, no, I was all pro for 10 years in the NFL. Really? In the NFL? It's awesome, and your team has no idea you actually played before. No, you know, it's a weird thing, it's like we have race car drivers on the show all the time, don't know much about cars. Right. Maybe, you know, I'm just saying, there's a whole NASCAR element. A true actor would watch the entire Yeah, you would think. Herbie series.

1:27:01 Justin Long I tried to get into it, I play a mechanic, I tried to get into some of the mechanics of it.

1:27:05 Adam Yeah, yeah, no, did you hang out with mechanics for a few months leading into the role?

1:27:09 Justin Long Yeah, I hung out with magic cars for a while, just to get into the vibe of it. But this is like a Disney movie, so finally the director was like, is it a three inch wrench or four inch wrench that you used to adjust the carburetor? And the director was like, it's like a kids movie about a magic car, really.

1:27:25 Adam Yeah, they almost always say, you used the wrong tool, and I'm the only one that ever bothered.

1:27:30 Drew You got to be distracted.

1:27:31 Justin Long That would be so unrealistic.

1:27:32 Adam Yeah, I stand up in the theater and start yelling fake O, fake out, chip O.

1:27:38 Justin Long Never mind the car that like winks and smiles.

1:27:41 Adam Go ahead, Drew, what do you got?

1:27:43 Drew It's our last night with the iTunes giveaway. The first 10 callers that are 18 or older get an iTunes gift card valued at $99.

1:27:49 Adam That's 99 songs. All right, you're ready, Drew?

1:27:52 Drew Let's talk to Betty, our caller who goes by Betty.

1:27:54 Adam Yes. Betty?

1:27:56 Hello.

1:27:57 Adam 24.

1:27:58 Hi, oh my gosh, okay.

1:28:00 Adam What's up?

1:28:01 Hi, hi guys, I love you all. I was calling because I used to be sexually compulsive and I'm starting to not be that way anymore. But it's hard because I'll tell a guy, oh, I used to hook up a lot really fast, so I don't want to do that with you. And somehow that gets translated to, okay, cool, so we can be in bed in like 20 minutes.

1:28:27 Adam Yeah.

1:28:27 Drew Don't bring that up with guys.

1:28:29 Adam Yeah.

1:28:29 Drew Do not bring that up.

1:28:31 Adam You know what that's like for the guy. I'm just thinking about it. You know when you go out and you're at the steak joint and you go, I have the prime rib and they're like, oh, you want a center cut or an end cut? And you're going, give me an end cut, give me some extraage you on there too. And then a little extra horse rash. A creamy or a regular? Give me the cream, bring them both. And then 20 minutes later, the waitress goes, we're out of the prime rib.

1:28:52 Drew People love that cut, they love it, but not for you.

1:28:55 Adam So they come back and they go, we're out, we're out of it. And you just go, oh, oh, now I'm ruined. Cause we got the salmon though.

1:29:03 Drew His thinking is, why not me? You would do this for me.

1:29:06 Adam You can't do that to a guy. You can't talk about the prime rib and then say you're out of it. Say you never had it, that's fine.

1:29:13 Justin Long We have cheeseburgers.

1:29:14 Adam Yeah. That's some weird fish. Yeah.

1:29:18 I have another question too, to follow that up.

1:29:20 Adam All right, so don't bring it up. Don't eat, you know what, Drew, what's my saying?

1:29:24 Drew More mystery, less history.

1:29:27 Adam Yes, do not bring up the past with guys. It screws them up. And don't bring up anything. Don't have any guys like, yeah, I had a guy who was into penis flogging for a while. It was cool, but it got old after about eight months. Plus, it fractured my orbital socket too. So I'm not into that anymore. It's like, I got a picture of some guy beating him.

1:29:50 Drew What's the other question, Betty?

1:29:51 Okay. Well, then if I start dating a good guy, then-

1:29:56 Drew You lose interest. Sabotage.

1:29:57 Justin Long You lose interest.

1:30:00 Drew Yeah. So what happened to your dad?

1:30:03 Actually, I know the first question he's asked, but he's like really cool. And so the only thing I can trace it to is like, he just worked like tons when I was little and was like never-

1:30:16 Adam Little abandoning.

1:30:17 Drew Also-

1:30:18 Adam Here's the other thing, too. A lot of 24-year-old women-

1:30:21 Drew Go through a phase, but this little drug addict stuff, a little bit of an alcoholic thing.

1:30:28 Not in my direct family, but in all around it, like uncles and grandfathers I think you may have got that gene going, because it sounds like that.

1:30:35 Adam Well, all uncles, to be fair, have to drink. I was disappointed when my sister had a couple of boys, but now I realize I got to hit the booze, because you got to be the drunk. Everyone has a- Here's the deal, the pressure's on me because I'm the only brother.

1:30:50 Drew Right.

1:30:50 Adam It's just me and my sister.

1:30:52 Drew So you got to be the abuser, you got to be the drunk.

1:30:54 Adam Yeah, but first off, those kids aren't going to molest themselves.

1:30:57 Justin Long Yeah, I got to get over there.

1:30:58 Adam I got to get over there and I got to get drunk. And now, if we had a big family and there were three or four brothers, I'd be like, okay, listen, Steve, you go, Stu and Lou, you guys start drinking, you start molesting. I'm busy, I got a career over here. But now what am I going to do? I'm the only brother.

1:31:15 Drew Suck it up.

1:31:16 Adam It's Uncle Adam, the guy, what do you want to say? Hey, no, I don't think he was attracted to me. He drank on occasion. No, no, you don't hear that. He was out of control, raging alcoholic.

1:31:28 Drew Well, maybe if you stop calling your red wine your medicine.

1:31:32 Adam What's my medicine?

1:31:33 Drew I don't know.

1:31:34 Adam The point is- Or your angel. The point is my muse, my medicine, my therapist, it's all rolled up into one. The point is, I'm going to have to get with the booze and get with the molesting, because that's just how the uncles go. Hey, I'm an uncle now, but I was a brother. I didn't have to do anything.

1:31:50 Drew Were you drinking when you were doing all this acting out?

1:31:53 No, that's the problem. I was totally sober.

1:31:57 Drew No sexual abuse in your history?

1:31:59 No, no. That was the first thing I looked to. Initially, I didn't start out that way, and I was like, oh wow, this is really fun. And then I just-

1:32:09 Adam Here's the thing. You're 24. You will grow out of this. Some have this more than others.

1:32:14 Drew The alcohol tendency, though, will put some energy into this.

1:32:17 Adam Yeah, there's just some women, though, that really, and you should be growing out of it at 24, but from 16 to 25, 23, they're like the bad boys.

1:32:28 Drew Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:32:29 Adam And you're always going to be a little bit into that.

1:32:31 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:32:32 Adam Yeah?

1:32:32 Yeah. Well, then with those good guys, how do I-

1:32:35 Adam Ah, that's enough. Just find a guy you like and try not to sabotage it. And here's the deal. You're not going to marry the next guy you meet. See if you can find a guy who's good to you, who respects you, and see if you can hang in for one year before you F his friend and sabotage it.

1:32:50 Drew Or how about-

1:32:51 Adam And then the next one, see if you can make it to 16 months.

1:32:53 Drew Split the difference. Not go with a guy that's super nice, but also not go for the guy you're super attracted to. Kind of the in-between. Some of you are attracted to, may not be a perfect, nice, nice guy, but a little bad boy guy, but yeah.

1:33:06 Adam Right. Not a clean record, not a bunch of misdemeanors, not felonies.

1:33:13 Drew There you go.

1:33:13 Adam You know what I mean? Brushes with the law.

1:33:16 Drew Right.

1:33:16 Adam Yes?

1:33:17 Drew Yes.

1:33:17 Adam Brushes. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Well, that's the show. Justin Long, want to thank you very much for coming in.

1:34:05 Justin Long Thank you, guys. Can I do a quick shout out?

1:34:06 Adam Sure.

1:34:07 Justin Long Leif, Kerry, Max, my baby, Caitlin, Christian, who we all know.

1:34:13 Drew Yeah, it's been a great time of day, because we've heard.

1:34:14 Adam Great artist, and Christian.

1:34:16 Drew Yeah.

1:34:16 Adam What a talent.

1:34:16 Drew That's been, wow.

1:34:17 Adam We should be on stage right now. Yeah. Every moment that kid is not on stage is a waste of time.

1:34:22 Drew He's just a lost humanity.

1:34:23 Adam He's really lost. He's a treasure. We've got to get on. We've got to have James Lipton speak up immediately about his bonus phone call. It's brilliant.

1:34:32 Justin Long Greatest prank phone caller ever.

1:34:36 Adam Bad Religion. The brains of Bad Religion will be in here tomorrow. And then Foo Fighters and the Donnas are there this week. Herbie, fully loaded, everyone, coming out this Wednesday. And until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. I get the feeling if Kelsey heard music coming from a small object, she tried to pry it open and let the band out.

1:34:59 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, June 19, 2005