Episode 1000711056404

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:17 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LLVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist.

1:31 Drew What are you looking at?

1:32 Adam I'm looking at that thing hanging out of your pocket. What is that?

1:34 Drew It's a pen.

1:35 Adam Well, what's up with the clip?

1:37 Drew That's a, you hang it on your shirt.

1:40 Adam Does it need to be hubcap sized? It wouldn't, what would do it?

1:43 Drew How did you notice that?

1:44 Adam Does a pen weigh 70 pounds? Look, let's get rid of that.

1:48 Drew Oh, thank you. Thank you. It's much better.

1:49 Adam Dan Finnerty is here from the Dan Band. Oh, Drew, don't pout just cause it broke.

1:54 Drew I can't wear those damn pants that float around.

1:57 Adam It was like jewelry. Hey, it made you gay. Come on. I straighten you out, brother.

2:02 Drew Like always.

2:02 Adam Like always. Dan is here from the Dan Band. Dan, the Dan Band is gonna be on Bravo tomorrow night, 11 o'clock, doing a one hour special. And the thing that's interesting about this special is it's directed by Mick G from, well, he's done a lot of movies, but Charlie's Angels fame and also executive produced by Steven Spielberg. How did that work? How did he get involved?

2:27 Dan Finnerty Isn't that crazy? He came to the show and afterwards he came up to me and he's like, hey, we should do something with that. And I'm like, yeah, we should, Steven. And he's like, my company DreamWorks, I know a lot of people at different companies like HBO and Bravo. And I'm like, I'm sure you do, Steven. He's like, my company DreamWorks produced the movie Old School that you were in. And, you know, I'm like, I know, I know you work. He's like, I did a movie about a shark in the 70s.

2:54 Adam It just it just goes to show that you got this is why you got to get in a band.

2:58 Dan Finnerty Yeah. Yeah.

2:59 Adam Because you could be playing McCabe's on a Tuesday night in front of 11 people and Carmen Electra could be in the band, could be in the audience. And she would F the drummer that night just because she was in the audience and you were on stage. It doesn't matter who you are. You're in the audience. You're in the dark. And it doesn't matter who you're not. No offense, Dan. You're on stage. And that's that. So for 10 minutes, I'm on stage and Spielberg, you're in the shadows and, yeah, leave me your card. Maybe I'll give you a buzz.

3:31 Drew And that clearly is never going to happen to either one of us. Therefore, we live the rest of our life compensating for that. Is that what you're saying?

3:36 Adam This is why I don't go to shows, though. I never.

3:38 Drew But we deal with bands every night.

3:39 Adam I'm never on stage, but I'm never in the audience either.

3:42 Drew But we deal with them every night.

3:44 Adam All right. So, Dan, I don't even know what that was, Drew. Just be quiet. Go fix your pen.

3:48 Dan Finnerty It started with a pen. That's where it all went down.

3:51 Adam So Spielberg was there to enjoy your music. No, what I'm asking is, does he have a teenage son who's really into the band or he doesn't strike me as a guy who just goes out and checks out local talent?

4:08 Dan Finnerty It was because of old school because we were in the movie old school and he, I guess, heard, he actually said he and Kate watched the credits to see who the wedding singer was. Which is nice. Wow. Then, yeah, from there he actually was like, I want to put you in my Tom Hanks movie. I was like, all right, Steven, put me in your Tom Hanks movie. Did he do it? That Monday, the casting director of The Terminal called and she's like, well, Steven just gave you a part in The Terminal, so come get fit for your little costume. What did you play? I played the discovery store manager. It was the Oscar buzz, dude.

4:39 Adam Come on, Drew. You didn't get the ballot last year?

4:41 Drew Didn't see the movie. Didn't see the movie.

4:43 Adam Oh, all right. Well, don't ask that, man.

4:45 Drew Curious.

4:45 Adam Well, it seems like you saw the movie and forgot. You know what I mean?

4:49 Dan Finnerty My feelings are hurt.

4:50 Adam Yeah. All right. So Spielberg has put his considerable might behind the Dan band.

4:55 Dan Finnerty That's right.

4:56 Adam And it's going to be on tomorrow night on Brono.

4:57 Drew Who came up with the idea for doing this?

4:59 Dan Finnerty It started, honestly, which is sad, with Drunk Karaoke. You know, what doesn't get started that way. Yeah.

5:06 Adam I mean, that's how this show got started.

5:07 Dan Finnerty Of course. I figured.

5:09 Adam And it's spun into a well, a drunken franchise, a drunken franchise. So that's tomorrow night. It's on Bravo. It's 11 o'clock. And is all or are all the albums on the, sorry, songs on the album going to be covered? Any bonus tracks? Anything that's not on the live album that we can expect to hear tomorrow night?

5:31 Dan Finnerty No, man. No. But you can put a lovely visual to the CD that's also available in stores. Yeah. No, it's going to be, you know, there's a lot of crazy singing and dancing that goes on in that show.

5:43 Adam We're going to, we're going to hear a couple of cuts off.

5:47 Dan Finnerty I love that.

5:48 Adam Off the Dan band as CD, by the way. And they're all covers, they're all songs you like. A lot of them are songs you like, but are scared to admit you like, but you wouldn't change them if it came on the radio. That's kind of how you know. You know what I'm saying? Flashdance and fame and all the songs you're not supposed to like, but you like anyway. We're going to hear some of that tonight. And also, everyone else is scared to admit this too, but you'd much rather hear your band do, you'd rather show up at a wedding, you'd rather show up at a party, you'd rather show up at a celebration and have the band do all covers of songs you like rather than their original stuff that you couldn't stand, or at least weren't familiar with, because you always hate a song. At best you tolerate a song. If you tolerate a song the first time you hear it, it means you're gonna love it. If you hate it, it means you'll be okay with it if you hear it 10 more times.

6:35 Drew Speaking of tolerating, let's get some calls.

6:37 Adam Where's your pen, Drew?

6:38 Drew I threw it at him. Here it comes, here it comes back.

6:40 Adam Oh, here it came back. Where's it, what's it from? Camp, Camperell. Oh yeah, it's a compa-papa calcium. It's above the delayed tablets. What are they, what is this for?

6:51 Drew Alcoholism.

6:52 Adam Oh really? Can you get a buzz?

6:54 Drew No, it makes you not be so anxious to drink. I was thinking about slipping some in your coffee.

6:59 Adam Dude, listen.

7:02 Drew I know your medicine works well for you.

7:03 Adam Yeah.

7:04 Drew But it has a dark side.

7:05 Adam I don't need a, to me, if the pill doesn't, if you don't catch a buzz off the pill.

7:09 Drew I know.

7:10 Adam It's like why bother making it?

7:12 Drew I know. At least you don't have to call it scoring when I give it to you.

7:15 Adam Drew doesn't like when I call it scoring. And he doesn't like when I call sleeping medication downers. He doesn't like that either. Katie? You're 18?

7:25 Caller Yeah.

7:26 Adam What's up?

7:27 Caller Okay.

7:29 Caller I had sex with my best friend and now he's acting weird and I don't know what to do anymore.

7:35 I don't know like to be his friend.

7:36 Caller I don't know.

7:37 Drew How long ago did this happen?

7:39 Caller Like a week ago maybe.

7:41 Drew And do you want to be a boyfriend girlfriend?

7:43 Caller I don't know.

7:44 I mean, I thought I did.

7:46 Caller Yeah, he probably doesn't.

7:48 Adam No, you still do. You just are questioning it. Because he doesn't want to be.

7:52 Drew Right. He's not responding and that makes you go, oh my God, I shouldn't feel this way.

7:55 Yeah.

7:57 Adam We need to give chicks this speech one more time, which is guys are not confused at all about anything they like.

8:03 Drew No. They will let you know. If he really were into this, he would have been sitting in your doorstep the next morning.

8:08 Adam But here's the thing. Why should women be any different than anything? If a guy's into a car, he's got posters of it up in the bedroom, he knows all the stats, and if you said to him, you got a one percent in a billion chance of getting this, he would go insane staying up all night. I mean, if he's into a car, if he's into a pizza, if he's into a band, if he's into anything, he's on it, he's all over it, he's all about it.

8:32 Drew All the time.

8:32 Adam All the time. But then sometimes chicks call up and they're like, I think he's into me, but I think he's confused, and he's also a guy who has trouble expressing himself, so I'm not sure. Now just think about that guy with the car. He ain't into you. And he doesn't want to come out and say he ain't into you. So he says, I'm confused, and I'm torn, or I'm not ready for a relationship right now.

8:55 Drew Can I feel guilty when they sleep with somebody, good guys at least, feel guilty when they sleep with somebody they're not into.

9:00 Adam Keep going, Drew. It's getting cathartic.

9:01 Drew No, they say it.

9:02 Adam Candy stripers, replace people with candy stripers. Yeah?

9:06 Caller Yeah, but me and him are like best friends. Like me and him like did everything together, and like we had that thing, and then I don't know like when I just it happened, and there you go.

9:16 Adam Yeah, but here's the thing. You guys have been best friends for how long?

9:21 Caller Since like the seventh grade.

9:23 Adam And if he was into you, you would have known it. You would have made it clear. You would have gotten angry when you started dating other guys and started pouting.

9:32 Caller He was kind of like, if I mentioned another guy like on the phone to him, he'd hang up on me.

9:37 Drew Wow, that's a good sign.

9:39 Dan Finnerty See, that's the way to go.

9:41 Caller I think he's just weirded out, like the way I was. But, I don't know if he...

9:48 Drew What kind of guy is he?

9:49 Caller Huh?

9:50 Drew What kind of guy is he?

9:51 Caller I don't know, like, he's a weird one. He's like a guy's guy, but when we're by ourselves, he's like more of a friend, girlfriend type thing.

10:03 Adam Well, hold on a second.

10:03 Caller I don't know, it's weird.

10:05 Adam Why don't you just... Why don't you declare yourself?

10:07 Drew Yeah, declare yourself.

10:07 Adam Go ahead and ask him.

10:08 Drew Go ahead and go, look. I really want to... I know we have a good friendship. I value that friendship, but I think I'd like to move this thing into something else. If you're up for that, I am. If not, let's roll it back to friendship again.

10:19 Caller What?

10:19 Drew Give him the... Oh, you can't do that?

10:21 Caller Oh, the column right now?

10:24 Drew No, right at the second, when you're ready.

10:26 Adam Yeah, let's call him.

10:28 Dan Finnerty What's his number?

10:28 Caller I don't want to call him.

10:30 Caller I don't even want him knowing that I called this.

10:32 Adam Okay.

10:33 Oh my God, no, I can't call him.

10:35 I'm scared he might think I'm retarded or something for calling.

10:38 Drew Well, no, no, look.

10:39 Adam Well, the joke's on him because he had sex with a retard.

10:44 Drew You need to call him.

10:45 Adam Which I don't want to knock. And I mean, you shouldn't knock until you've tried it.

10:49 Drew You're telling us a little something we don't need to know.

10:51 Adam Yeah.

10:51 Drew But the deal is he needs to know how you're feeling. Put it on the line. If he doesn't respond, say, you know, let it be a friendship again. How old is he? Probably 18.

11:00 Adam 18. She's 18. Poor chicks. Yeah. I feel sorry for them. They don't know what the hell is going on.

11:06 Dan Finnerty It's bad news out there.

11:07 Adam It's got to be tough. They got like they got all the boobs. They got no brains.

11:10 Drew Well, the brains work differently. They work differently.

11:12 Adam Yeah.

11:12 Drew They think and they can't see it from a man's perspective.

11:15 Adam They don't have that differently. Like English sports cars. Electrical system works differently. Doesn't work.

11:22 Drew The Japanese doesn't work that well.

11:24 Dan Finnerty Like a SIM card.

11:25 Adam Yeah, it doesn't work. That's that's how that's how it works differently. But everything's confusing. You know what I'm saying?

11:30 Drew I know what you're saying.

11:31 Adam All right. It's got to be tough.

11:33 Laura. Yes.

11:34 Adam You're 18.

11:35 Caller Yeah.

11:36 Adam Oh, you got that little girl voice. That means you were molested.

11:42 Caller Yeah.

11:43 Drew Yeah, we hear it.

11:44 Adam All right.

11:44 Drew Now, Drew doesn't say that anywhere up there on the board.

11:47 Adam Read what the question says.

11:49 Drew Boyfriend says boyfriend's penis kept missing during doggie style sex. What's the problem?

11:54 Adam All right. But she uttered three syllables and we knew she was molesting.

11:58 Drew Yeah, you can tell.

11:59 Adam That voice.

12:00 Drew That's a good.

12:01 Adam Dan was molested, too.

12:02 Drew Oh, no.

12:02 Adam I said, damn, freaks me out. Said, damn, like he was molested.

12:06 Drew Laura, that's a tough problem.

12:08 Adam Yeah. So what happened? I mean, we'll get into the doggie style stuff in a minute. But who molested you?

12:15 Caller Um, like, it was like my friend's mom and dad got a divorce or whatever. So my friend's mom and her, my friend, her mom and her brother came to live with me. And like, he, her brother did.

12:32 Drew Okay.

12:33 Adam How much older was he?

12:33 Drew It's interesting she got, it became more pronounced when she started talking about it, you know what I'm saying?

12:37 Caller I was like 14 and he was like 18. No, no, no.

12:40 Drew Something happened before that.

12:41 Adam That's too late. We need something earlier.

12:44 Drew When you were like six.

12:46 Caller What happened when you were six? No, not when I was that young.

12:48 Drew Or eight.

12:49 Adam Somebody die? Somebody leave?

12:51 Caller No.

12:52 Drew What about, what's all with all this chaos that a whole family comes to live in your house?

12:56 Caller I think it was just one of my best friends. And then like, my parents, I don't know, it was.

13:02 Adam All right, hold on a second. We need to convene. This isn't a 14 year old voice. This is a six or seven or whatever. This is a four year old voice, so something's going on. You don't get this voice molested at 14. I mean, you don't get it the first time at 14 anyway. You get it at like six.

13:19 Dan Finnerty And your voice freezes?

13:20 Drew That's basically how it happens. They just stop developing it. And our culture goes, oh, she's so cockatish. She's Marilyn Monroe like. That's a little girl voice. Sounds like a little girl.

13:27 Adam Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right, let's see. Laura.

13:32 Caller Yeah.

13:33 Adam So let me ask some questions. Where's your dad?

13:38 Caller He's here.

13:40 Drew He's in your life and has always been.

13:42 Caller Yeah.

13:42 Drew He's your biological parents.

13:44 Caller Yeah.

13:45 Drew All right.

13:45 Adam Alcoholism, drug abuse.

13:48 Caller No.

13:49 Adam Is he a publicist?

13:52 Caller He's not like an alcoholic. He like. Yeah.

13:57 Drew He like what?

13:58 Caller He's not an alcoholic. He drinks like maybe like two or three beers a day.

14:03 Adam By the way, when I have kids, I'm going to train them. That's going to be their answer too.

14:07 Drew Yeah.

14:08 Adam Oh, Papa Adam.

14:09 Caller Yeah.

14:09 Adam Yeah. No, he drinks socially. Socially. Socially is not an alcoholic. Recreationally. Recreationally sounds like he only drinks when he's boating, which seems like a bad plan.

14:22 Drew Yeah.

14:22 Adam I'm just going to say socially.

14:24 Drew Laura, did anybody ever hit you?

14:25 Adam Hmm. Somebody hit you, Laura?

14:29 Caller Yeah. I don't know who it is.

14:32 Drew What?

14:32 Adam You don't know who hit you?

14:35 Caller Oh, it's funny. I mean, nobody's ever hit me. I mean, I've got things on my hands that are not like beaten or anything.

14:43 Drew Did they hit you with an object?

14:45 Caller No. Well, a paddle, but not like anywhere by my butt.

14:50 Adam It's a little something. What's your dad do for a living?

14:56 Caller He's been recognized as a dog since he was 17, and he's like 39 now.

15:03 Adam Okay. I see. So he's been at it 22 years. So that explains it.

15:09 Drew By the way, they had you when they were 20.

15:11 Caller Yeah. My mom was 19 and he was 20.

15:15 Drew There was no chaos in your home growing up? Must have been.

15:18 Caller I have two brothers and a sister.

15:21 Adam What's the, by the way, you know what this show turns out? Here's what the show really is. It's like when they put a seven-year-old on the stand and they're trying to get them to admit to preschool. There's my, can you point to the part of the dolly?

15:34 Drew Yeah.

15:35 Adam Point to the dolly where the bad man touched you. Did he touch you in your private? Did he touch your Pepe?

15:40 Drew Did he touch your hair?

15:41 Adam Here's the dolly. Here's the dolly. It's like you're talking to an 18-year-old here.

15:45 Drew I know. All right.

15:46 Adam What's dad do for a living?

15:48 Drew Lots of things since he was 17.

15:49 Adam No, I think the same thing since he was 17.

15:51 Caller Same thing.

15:52 Drew I see.

15:53 Adam Laura, where does your dad go to work?

15:56 Caller He likes to this place that's like, it's like somewhere in Saginaw and he's like a supervisor and like he does this like, he like welds and does pipes and stuff. I don't know.

16:10 Drew Oh, there we go. White trash.

16:12 Adam Whores and rovers. Well, there's, oh yes. All right, so Laura and, so you were raped.

16:19 Drew We're not gonna get into that. There's a rape in early adolescence. It sure wasn't like when you were 11, you were raped?

16:24 Caller Might have been. I'm not sure how old I was. It was somewhere around there.

16:29 Drew All right, let's say it was, let's say it was eight, just for the sake of argument. Just so Drew can be right. Because that's what it said. I have a absolutely vivid sense that it's somewhere around there for you.

16:38 Adam All right, either way, doggy style sex with your boyfriend. How old is your boyfriend?

16:45 Caller He's 22.

16:47 Drew How old?

16:47 Caller 22.

16:48 Drew How long have you been sexually active with him?

16:52 Caller Since like October of last year.

16:57 Drew Okay, and why is this so mysterious to you? What's happening? What's happening to you?

17:01 Caller We do it in like, in it like, it'll be working, like in there to come out and like, it just, it just knocks us out.

17:09 Drew Doesn't that sound like a six year old talking?

17:11 Caller What?

17:11 Drew What's that, Laura?

17:12 Adam Go ahead. I can tell cause it's turning me on. No. Oh, well, Drew, listen, I'm flesh and blood. At least I'm honest. I'm being honest. That's all. Hey, Laura, look, I don't care what he's doing when he's behind you. That's the least of my worries. I worry about you crapping out some kids. What are you using for protection?

17:34 Caller Oh, like the pill.

17:36 Adam Bota bag.

17:36 Drew You're on the pill.

17:37 Adam Oh, very good. All right. You're on the pill. Yeah.

17:41 Drew What do you mean?

17:43 Caller What?

17:44 Drew You take this. You take a pill every day?

17:46 Caller Yeah.

17:47 Adam Is it is it shaped like Wilma?

17:50 Drew What's the name of what's the name of the pill you're taking?

17:52 Adam Yeah. Oh, true. This will be good.

17:53 Drew What's the name of the pill? Oh, can't hear her. This phone suck.

17:59 Caller I can't remember the name. All right. All right.

18:04 Adam All right, Laura, let me let me give you let me give you like a five year plan for you.

18:08 Drew All right.

18:09 Caller OK.

18:10 Adam OK. Do not get pregnant. Do not get pregnant. Do not get pregnant. All right.

18:15 Drew Do not get involved with abusive guys.

18:16 Adam Don't get involved with abusive guys. Don't waste your time in college or junior college or any of that nonsense. Get a good job. Don't piss off your boss. Show up early. Get a job and fight to keep it. And number five, don't get pregnant. All right. As far as the sex goes, use some lube. Do whatever you want. What a disaster.

18:36 Dan Finnerty Oh, my God.

18:38 Adam Disaster.

18:38 Dan Finnerty Why no junior college? What happens at college?

18:41 Adam I'll tell you.

18:42 Drew Would you go to college?

18:43 Adam What?

18:43 Drew You go to junior college yourself?

18:45 Dan Finnerty No, I mean, I went to college.

18:47 Adam You went to real college.

18:48 Dan Finnerty What happens at junior college?

18:49 Adam Junior college is like these sort of, I don't know, some sort of lint trap. That losers get caught into and they can't escape. They just get into it and they never get out of it and six years goes by and they're-

19:02 Drew We had a long discussion last night about the fact that no one ever graduates junior college. They transfer out, they transfer to a four-year.

19:07 Adam Yeah.

19:07 Drew They never graduate.

19:08 Adam It's just some sort of black hole filled with pot, hacky sack, and granola bars and peachy folders that losers fall into and there's no escape.

19:22 Dan Finnerty Damn.

19:23 Adam Listen, if you're stupid, you shouldn't be going to college. Here's the thing, you want to know how to frustrate yourself? Try to do things that smart people do when you're stupid.

19:33 Drew Or just do things you're no good at.

19:34 Adam Or do things you're no good at. Drew, you, my friend, build a house. You should be in a reggae band.

19:40 Drew Yeah. Right.

19:42 Adam You should be one of the whalers.

19:44 Drew Yes.

19:44 Adam And here's what our society is. Here's what we do in our society. We tell every kid, you should go to college, you should do this. And then we tell every other kid, you can do anything you want. You do anything you want. You do anything you want. What we should be telling kids is, no, you can't do anything you want. You can do about two or three things if you're lucky. Why don't you figure out what those things are? Better yet, we'll tell you what they are.

20:06 Drew They used to have aptitude testing. You're good at farming. We're going to take you and we're going to send you down to agriculture school. You're good at teaching people. We're going to give you a teacher's school. Remember that? Yes. That was like 50 years ago.

20:15 Adam Then you have a nice fulfilling life because you get to actually do things that you're good at. I know Dan's shaking his head. I know because Dan.

20:23 Drew You don't like social engineering? Adam has a plan.

20:25 Adam Well, Dan would have been driving the Zamboni at the skating rink. There's nothing on the thing that says start a band where you cover feminist hippie songs from the 70s. No, I know and there's no radio loud mouth box on that aptitude test either. Don't get me wrong, but everyone goes to college, and if you ain't college material, you just float around for six years and waste everyone's time.

20:51 Drew This way is learn a skill or a trade. Yes, reasonable idea.

20:55 Dan Finnerty Who's going to learn a trade when they're 18 at McDonald's? I mean, that's my point.

20:59 Drew Carpet cleaning. Adam went right into it.

21:02 Adam Now, here's the point. Somebody should have got hold of me and every guy I hung out with in high school at age 16 and said, you guys aren't going to Stanford and you're not going to Cal. You're going to need to make some money. How about we get in some pipe-fitting apprentice program or something and you guys learn how to fit pipes or frame buildings or pour slabs or do electrical work or fix carburetors? And then you get out of high school, you work, you know, some apprentice thing for a couple of years. Next thing you know, you're 21, you're making 18 bucks an hour and you can afford rent.

21:33 Drew So what happens if they don't do that? What actually happened?

21:36 Adam What happens is, is you go to junior college, you float around for three years and your stepmom kicks you out of the garage and next thing you know, you're cleaning carpets for some a-hole in Van Nuys for four bucks an hour.

21:49 Dan Finnerty Or you become a 39-year-old dad who drinks just two beers a day with a little girl talking 18-year-old daughter.

21:56 Drew That would have been a good story for one of those guys, Adam's friends.

22:00 Adam All right. So listen, everyone, find out what your calling is and do it. But again, it can't be rapper and movie star for all of you.

22:10 Dan Finnerty All right.

22:11 Adam Drew Regge.

22:12 Drew I can't wait.

22:15 Adam This is what, you know what, I believe everyone secretly loves sports for this reason, because if you can't cut it, you're out. See, junior college is like a horrible basketball team that you can never be cut from. So you can always say, I'm on the team, even if you never play and you're never any good. Whereas in sports, it doesn't matter if, it doesn't matter if your dad owns the franchise, if you can't cut it, you're out. That's what people love about it.

22:43 Drew That new Shaggy style reggae.

22:45 Adam Oh, you would?

22:46 Drew Yeah, yeah.

22:46 Adam How would that go, Drew?

22:48 Dan Finnerty What about the doggy style reggae? Just call back to the caller.

22:51 Adam Anderson, you don't think, Anderson, you know, Drew can go urban on your ass if he has to, though. If he has to.

22:59 Drew If you had a hissy, you would be out of the house. Dr. Drew in the hissy.

23:05 Adam Yeah. You know, what do you think? Yeah. Look, motherf**ker, I'm telling you, don't be a play hater, because when you tap her in the ass, you ain't gonna be interested in pistol fighting no more.

23:15 Drew And the digit is Dizzle, and in the hissy for chizzy is gonna be great on the QT for real.

23:20 Adam Yeah. Let me tell you what happened. We had the mics turned on during a commercial break, and Drew was giving me some advice of how to handle my b**ches.

23:28 Drew I'm telling you, n***a, that it would put you into the mode where you have no... No problem to get that freaky s**t going. 24-7 flowin semen here in your house. And you're hissy for chizzy.

23:38 Adam All right, Drew, easy. Easy now. He didn't know the mics were hot. I was having some lady proms. And Drew slips in sort of a street slang.

23:47 Dan Finnerty I saw it in the hallway.

23:48 Adam Yeah, you saw it. You'll see it come out.

23:50 Dan Finnerty I see it now.

23:51 Adam He puts on the doctor voice when we're on the air. That's totally different, Drew, during the commercial breaks. All right. Oh, we need to hear a song. We need to take a break. What are we gonna do, Drew? Don't cuss. You just want to write your answer now? All right, Drew's upset now. Dan is here from the Dan Band. We'll hear something off the new live CD. When we come back, we'll also speak to John, who has a bi girlfriend that wants him to keep seeing women.

24:17 Drew No, she wants to keep seeing women.

24:19 Adam Has a bi girlfriend that wants to keep seeing women. And he wants to know if he can join in. Let me just say hi to her for a second. John?

24:28 Caller Yeah.

24:28 Adam Is she going to let you join in?

24:32 Caller I don't think so.

24:34 Adam No, she just wants to keep seeing women.

24:36 Caller She just wants to keep, well, getting it. I guess you could say.

24:43 Drew All right.

24:43 Adam OK, thanks. Thanks.

24:45 Drew It's very clear. What a picture he's making. By the way.

24:47 Caller I'm taking a picture for you, yeah.

24:49 Drew But it's not, fortunately, not a bogus call, because a bogus call would have gone, oh yeah, he only wants me to join in. Right.

24:55 Adam No, not bogus. We'll talk to Dan and we'll tackle his problem after this.

25:22 Yeah, everybody!

25:23 Adam Woo! That's what I'm talking about. Dan Hereknife from the Dan Bam. The big special, Spielberg special. You know, let me tell you something about Spielberg. He doesn't know how to do crap. And I don't mean, doesn't know how to do anything.

25:38 Drew I mean, everything's good. He only does good stuff.

25:41 Adam It's all good.

25:41 Dan Finnerty See?

25:42 Adam It's all gold. And not everyone can claim that. A lot of guys, big names, guys you know, but not everything is gold. Spielberg, gold. And why should TV be any different? So he's getting behind Dan and his band, who are going to be on Bravo tomorrow night at 11 o'clock. I'm going to set my TiVo for that.

26:02 Dan Finnerty It's also on Sunday at 11. In case you miss it.

26:04 Adam Oh yeah. How about that? Yeah, tomorrow on the second. That's right. And then Sunday on the fifth. So but you're not going to miss it. What you're going to do is you're going to watch it again.

26:14 Dan Finnerty Exactly. If you want to see it live, you can come down to Avalon here in LA on Friday.

26:19 Adam Where is Avalon?

26:20 Dan Finnerty Used to be the Palace. Now it's Avalon.

26:22 Adam Oh it is? Oh that's nice.

26:24 Dan Finnerty Yeah.

26:25 Adam It's a nice art deco place. Yeah. Drew, you ever been in there?

26:29 Drew I think so.

26:29 Adam Really?

26:30 Dan Finnerty Come on down. I'll give you a comp.

26:32 Adam Come on down.

26:32 Dan Finnerty Just one.

26:33 Adam Yeah. It's a bitch and old like 20s, 30s art deco style. And they've done a lot of filming and stuff in there. A lot of movies.

26:41 Dan Finnerty Yeah. Jerry Lewis used to do his talk show from there.

26:44 Adam Oh really? Didn't know that.

26:46 Dan Finnerty Come on.

26:47 Adam Didn't know that. We will get back to the phones and speak to, oops, wrong line, speak to John who's 21 and we'll hear something from the Dan band too. John?

27:00 Dan Finnerty Yeah.

27:01 Adam So John's 21, he has a bi girlfriend and she wants to keep seeing women. And she is not talking about a threesome, she's just talking about a twosome and you ain't in for some, right? That's just you? Right. Just her and the girl. Yeah.

27:18 Drew And why are you having these discussions?

27:21 Caller Okay. Well, it started, we started dating, first of all, I've known her forever, right? So she was my friend before she was my girlfriend, right? And I've known she's been bi forever, right? Yeah. But we started, we discussed a relationship, okay? We came to mutual agreements, but we started partying and when it-

27:41 Adam Hold on. John's got that comp thing. You know where he goes?

27:44 Dan Finnerty Okay.

27:44 Adam You know, okay? Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. What I'm going to have to ask you do right now. Okay. All right. Okay. For me right now, could you go ahead, reach your wall, go ahead and show me some ID right now. Okay. All right. All right. Now, what I'm going to also ask you do right now is to go ahead for me and to go ahead and get the registration out of the glove box. Okay. Right now. Do you know why I pulled you over? Okay. Right now. Because you failed to yield. Okay. Right now. Okay. Could you do that for me? What is that with cops? Just give out the goddamn ticket and get hit the road. And John, just start talking. I don't need to hear anything about, okay, right now. Okay. You guys dated and she's by and she remains, she remains by.

28:30 Caller We had a discussion after I noticed that at the parties, she started just started making out with girls.

28:39 Adam All right. John, she's chaotic.

28:42 Drew John, you're so up in your head. It's unbelievable.

28:45 Adam She's a nut job.

28:46 Drew It's like you're having some sort of a business meeting. Well, we got together, we hashed out the agreement, and she agreed that she would not make out any longer in the party because right now we had this discussion. Come on. She's all over the place. She's not in this relationship. She's clearly been abused in some fashion. She can't handle intimacy. She's injecting chaos into your relationship. And by the way, by or not, she's in a monogamous relationship. What do you care whether she's with another woman, another man? The relationship is just sort of over as a monogamous entity.

29:13 Adam It's easier to beat off to the woman. That's what she feels about it.

29:16 Dan Finnerty If she's okay that it's not monogamous.

29:18 Drew If it's not a relationship, that's fine. Then enjoy. But why is he calling a radio station then?

29:23 Adam John?

29:24 Caller Well, not necessarily that. She says it's a relationship and she says, I'm the only guy she'll ever want to be with. And you know, she cares about me.

29:34 Adam Yeah, she's nuts though.

29:36 Caller She wants to keep her girl's thing. She's like, you're treating me better than anybody ever has.

29:42 Adam Yeah, well, sure. Stepdad beat the crap out of her, the code hanger.

29:46 Drew Go read about borderline personality disorder. I think you'll see a lot of the qualities here.

29:49 Adam John?

29:50 Caller She's bipolar.

29:51 Drew Okay. Well, bipolar and borderline kind of go together, so.

29:54 Adam Let me tell you what goes on. I know we live in this fantasy world where, oh, she's super sexual, so that's why she likes the ladies and the gents. Now, she's chaotic, and I guarantee she was abused. This is the sad truth behind the super sexy, super sensual chicks who just, they can't, they can't, they love three guys or three women. Now, she was, she was abused. I'm sure she's a mess. She's chaotic, and she's going to drag you right into it. And you're not equipped to handle it.

30:25 Drew That's a fact.

30:26 Adam All right.

30:27 Drew Wish, wish, wish the humans were different, but that's how they were.

30:29 Adam Okay, all right, right now.

30:30 Drew Right now.

30:30 Adam What I'm gonna have to ask you, do you do okay right now for me? Okay, so go ahead and step away from the relationship. Just go ahead and set the vagina down, son.

30:39 Drew Or not.

30:39 Adam Put your hands in your pocket. Just go ahead for me right now. Okay, okay, right now. Just step away from the relationship.

30:45 Drew Let's prepare for chaos.

30:46 Adam Put your hands where I can see them, please, right now. Okay, interlock your fingers behind your head, son. Go ahead for me right now and just lie down.

30:52 Drew The partying stuff, that's her addiction getting going too.

30:54 Adam Okay, right now.

30:55 Dan Finnerty The what? The partying?

30:56 Drew Yeah, she's an addict too. Usually this fits with the big time substance abuse. She doesn't do any substances?

31:03 Caller Huh?

31:03 Drew She doesn't do any substances?

31:05 Caller She used to. She quit. She's clean.

31:06 Drew Yeah, John.

31:07 Caller It almost killed her.

31:08 Drew Yeah. Is she in a program of 12-step recovery?

31:12 Caller She already went through all that.

31:13 Drew So she goes to meetings every day?

31:15 Caller Yeah, she killed her. Her heart stopped.

31:17 Drew John, just so you know, for the sake of discussion, the only way someone like that ever gets over addiction is with daily active involvement in recovery with their sponsor, probably two meetings a day for at least the next five years. This is somebody who's a severe trauma survivor, had a near death, nearly died of addiction, and magically she's over that. There's no such person. It doesn't exist.

31:40 Adam John makes a pretty compelling point as to why she's not an addict anymore. Your heart stopped. Oh, I see. Oh, so she doesn't ever have a problem with drugs because it almost killed her? Like, oh, I see. I see. Yeah. All right, Drew. There you go. Listen, I know. We sound like a-holes and we get all preachy on every bun, and everyone's got the little girl voice, and everyone's abused and everything. This ain't a horny chick. This is an effed up chick. And John is too stupid to know what he's doing, and he's in way over his head and he doesn't understand. He thinks he's playing a kazoo, and he's got a harp, one of those huge ones too, like you see.

32:19 Drew And he's trying to get in his car.

32:20 Adam And he's trying to get it in the car. It's not going to work. He doesn't know what he's got. John, get out.

32:25 Dan Finnerty Oh, John.

32:26 Adam Get out before you get her pregnant. All right. All right. Just go find someone else who's effed up, all right? But less effed up. Okay right now? Okay.

32:38 Dan Finnerty Oh, Johnny.

32:39 Adam All right. Poor Johnny. It's tough, Johnny. But you know we're right. She's a mess.

32:45 Drew Unless she's active involved in a program.

32:47 But you know what?

32:48 Drew Unless she's active involved in a program of recovery on a daily basis and you go to an Al-Anon program, then it can work out. But other than that, and by the way, the borderline, severe borderlines like that are always attracted to sociopaths. So if she's attracted to John.

33:00 John.

33:00 Adam I bet John sells something for a living. John.

33:04 Drew Yeah.

33:04 Adam What do you do? Sell RVs? What do I do?

33:10 Caller I am a salesman.

33:11 Yeah.

33:13 Adam I'm shocked.

33:15 Caller I'm a computer geek actually. Struggling musician. I have many jobs.

33:19 Adam You sell computer stuff? What do you sell?

33:23 Caller Vacuums during the week. DJ during the weekend. My day job is a muffler. I work at a gas station.

33:32 Dan Finnerty What's going on here?

33:33 Adam All right. Do you sell vacuums, too?

33:36 Caller Yeah.

33:37 Drew Have you ever had trouble with the law?

33:39 Caller Have I ever had trouble with the law?

33:41 Drew Yeah.

33:42 Caller I've been pulled over before.

33:43 Okay, son.

33:45 Adam Step away from the vacuum, son. Okay, right now. Put the corner attachment down on the vacuum. Put the slinky hose down in the retracting cord. Step away from the upright. I'm a canister man myself. What happened to the canister, bro?

34:02 Drew You need to give the polar bear talk right now.

34:05 Adam Yeah.

34:05 Drew Right now, real quick, and then we're going to listen to a song. Well, don't ask.

34:08 Dan Finnerty I'm too depressed.

34:09 Drew Don't give the polar bear talk. Do not mention the polar bear. Do not talk about polar bears. I hate that when you talk about that.

34:15 Adam Well-

34:15 Drew I can't stand it. Do not mention it.

34:17 Adam You know what you just earned yourself?

34:18 Drew No.

34:19 Adam A polar bear talk, all right? You want to shoot for two polar bear talks?

34:23 Drew No, don't do it. Do not do it.

34:24 Adam Here's all, Dan, I'm going to address this to you.

34:27 Dan Finnerty Okay, good.

34:27 Adam Okay, because we're not going to see each other ever again. And Drew and I are getting as full of each other. You know what I mean? Although I will see you on Bravo tomorrow night at 11, and then repeat it again Sunday on the 5th.

34:39 Dan Finnerty And I'll see you from the stage on Friday at Avalon here in town.

34:42 Adam Oh, yeah.

34:43 Dan Finnerty Friday night.

34:43 Adam Down the street. Formerly known as the Palace. A lot of movies there. Okay, here's the thing. You've been there. All right, here's the thing. If you want to figure out, and this is all we figured out from this show. If you want to figure out how polar bears act, how they interact, migration, feeding habits, mating habits, you study a hundred of them, and you're an expert on polar bears. You don't have to study every one of them. You need about ten of them, actually. And now you know everything there is to know about polar bears. People are the same way. They just don't want to admit it. We live in a society where everyone's an individual, and there's nobody created like you, and you're like a snowflake, and no two of you are alike. And by the way, I don't buy that with the snowflakes. I've seen snowflakes that look pretty damn close. Pretty damn close. So the point is, is everyone walks around going, I'm the only me. And of course, when you're the only you, then how can you take any advice from anybody? Because we don't know you. We didn't grow up with you. You're easy to figure out. Stupid people are even easier than polar bears. They're all the same. It's all the same thing. We live in this retarded society where everyone gets to cling. Everyone gets to cling to their own individuality and then they turn to have their personal relationship with Jesus Christ and all this other BS. Kiss my ass. You guys aren't even books. You're pamphlets. There's nothing to you. They see right through you. It's easy. If you want to run society, you just find the F'ed up people, put a few laws in place and figure it out. Someone needs to get to these people early and often, get them on birth control, get them some counseling for all their trauma, and then we can close down the prisons and we can close down the methadone clinics. But no, no one wants to think that way. Everyone's an individual. So we have, and by the way, does medicine work that way? If you're going to do bypass surgery, how do you know if the guy has three hearts? You don't know. He's an individual. Oh, you think his heart is in the upper left part of his chest, but it could be in his asshole. Because we're all different, Drew. Aren't we different?

36:50 Dan Finnerty You can say asshole.

36:51 Adam I think I can.

36:52 Dan Finnerty Oh, wow.

36:53 Adam I can.

36:54 Dan Finnerty Yeah, all right.

36:54 Adam You guys can, because I'm an individual.

36:56 Dan Finnerty All right, yeah.

36:57 Adam I'm the asshole individual. I can say whatever I want. It's just nonsense. People aren't any different physically. They're the same mentally as they are physically. You know how the body's laid out. You figure out how the brain's laid out. Everyone responds the same way to the same thing. Couple individuals that throw you through a loop every once in a while, but 99.99% of the populace all the same. That's all we're here to say. All right, let's hear a song.

37:19 Drew Let's do it, on the happy note, come on.

37:21 Adam Let's do it.

37:22 Dan Finnerty Oh, John.

37:22 Adam You ready, Michelle?

37:23 Dan Finnerty Did John get what he wanted?

37:24 Adam No.

37:25 Dan Finnerty All he's getting is a song.

37:25 Adam He needs tough love. He needs to break up with this girl.

37:27 Drew She's chaotic, and he's a salesman. Well, he at least admitted that she's a mess. He heard him say that.

37:31 Adam Yeah, and he's a BS artist. Yeah, okay.

37:35 Dan Finnerty Wow.

37:35 Adam All right.

37:36 Dan Finnerty Sorry, John.

37:36 Adam Yeah, all right, you ready? Yeah. All right, this is a little something from the Dan Band, and it's called, oh, Total Eclipse of the Heart. Yeah, the Dan Band, everybody. That song is like 10 minutes shorter than-

40:08 Dan Finnerty Yeah, I didn't want to do the whole third verse.

40:10 Adam No, you don't need that.

40:11 Dan Finnerty I got tired.

40:12 Adam Did you actually say the F word in there?

40:15 Dan Finnerty Yeah, I did.

40:15 Adam And they just beeped it out?

40:16 Dan Finnerty They bleep it out.

40:17 Drew Bravo, bleep it or plaid?

40:18 Dan Finnerty Yeah, they bleep it.

40:19 Drew They bleep it.

40:20 Adam Pussies.

40:20 Dan Finnerty Yeah, I know it.

40:21 Adam Yeah. See, they claim to support the arts, but they bleep out the F-bomb and total eclipse it off.

40:25 Drew What a bunch of pussies.

40:27 Adam Thank you, Drew. All right, Dan is here from the Dan Band. We'll take a quick break and we'll be right back after this.

40:35 Thank you for calling Loveline.

40:37 Caller Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

40:54 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Dan is here from the Dan Band.

41:03 Dan Finnerty How's it going from myself?

41:05 Adam We'll hear something else off the live CD. You can find the Dan Band, which of course, Dan leads on Bravo tomorrow night, 11 o'clock, and then again on Sunday. But don't kid yourself, don't do that thing where I don't have to catch it. Tomorrow night, I'll catch it on Sunday. Oh, no. No, you catch it tomorrow night.

41:26 Dan Finnerty That's right.

41:27 Adam That's right.

41:28 Drew Reprieve it, reprise it. Yeah.

41:30 Dan Finnerty Yeah. And we're going on tour this summer. How about that?

41:33 Drew Nice.

41:34 Adam Yeah, what about that?

41:35 Dan Finnerty The tour dates are up at thedanband.com. Adam and Drew. You might want to check it out.

41:41 Adam I'm gonna.

41:41 Dan Finnerty All right.

41:42 Adam I was on it before, by the way.

41:44 Dan Finnerty You were?

41:44 Adam No.

41:45 Dan Finnerty All right.

41:45 Adam I don't really know.

41:46 Dan Finnerty Why don't you come to my show, Dan?

41:47 Adam I'm coming to the show.

41:48 Dan Finnerty When? This Friday?

41:49 Adam Yeah.

41:49 Dan Finnerty At Avalon?

41:50 Adam Yeah.

41:50 Dan Finnerty For real?

41:51 Adam I am.

41:52 Dan Finnerty All right.

41:52 Adam You know why?

41:53 Drew You live right around the corner.

41:54 Adam Because I'm close. Yeah. To me, it's not about the band. It's about proximity.

41:57 Dan Finnerty Right.

41:58 Adam You know what I'm saying?

41:59 Dan Finnerty Yeah. I'll get you a Zima.

42:00 Caller Oh.

42:02 Dan Finnerty One comp, one Zima.

42:03 Adam I thought they went the way of the Dodo, but I'm into that. I mean, you know what else? You know what else I'm into? I don't know if they have anymore. I should have stocked up. Tequiza.

42:13 Dan Finnerty Oh, those are good.

42:14 Adam Tequiza was awesome.

42:16 Dan Finnerty I hope you're not blaspheming because they were good.

42:18 Adam No, Tequiza were good.

42:20 Dan Finnerty They're like, Zima was bad news. I'll say it out loud, but Tequiza were nice.

42:23 Adam Tequiza were wine coolers for straight guys.

42:26 Dan Finnerty Yep. Strawberry blush? No.

42:29 Adam Right. See, here's the deal about, here's the thing. You know what it is? It's like what a smoothie is to a guy who thinks he's on a health kick, which is-

42:39 Drew That's what Tequiza is?

42:40 Adam Yeah, it's 44 ounces of frozen yogurt and orange juice. It has as many calories as six Big Macs. But you think, I didn't have the tuna melt. I had the caloric equivalent to an actual basket of fries at McDonald's. But it's a smoothie, it's a health shake.

43:02 Dan Finnerty It's a strawberry on the cup.

43:03 Adam Yeah, strawberry on the cup. There were some sprouts growing at the place. Of course, I didn't get any of those, but they were near the stuff I ordered when the guy was scooping the ice cream out of the back of the thing. So that's what I'm saying is that Tequiza, let's face it, wine coolers taste better than beer. They're just yummy. They're carbonated. They taste like berries. You get a buzz. But as a dude, you don't look good holding a wine cooler. Tequiza, it looks like you're drinking a beer that had a floater of tequila in it or something.

43:32 Drew It still tastes like a wine cooler?

43:33 Adam It tastes like a wine cooler. Yeah, it's super sweet.

43:36 Dan Finnerty No, it's like, isn't it beer with a tequila flavor?

43:39 Adam It is, but first off, everything that tastes good is just corn syrup. That's what it is. It's like, you go, oh, this iced tea tastes good. It thinks it aren't sweet and tastes like hell. That's how you know everything's sweet. Yeah.

43:52 Drew All right, one call, one call.

43:52 Adam One call?

43:53 Drew No calls, no calls this segment. We won't take any calls this segment.

43:56 Adam No, no calls?

43:56 Drew No calls, I don't want to speak to anybody.

43:58 Adam Oh yeah?

43:58 Drew No calls.

43:59 Adam You don't?

43:59 Drew No calls.

44:00 Adam You see my finger?

44:01 Drew I don't see your finger anymore.

44:02 Adam You see where it's going? You see where it's going?

44:04 Drew I can't stand it.

44:04 Adam You see where it's going? Pow! Danielle's on the phone. So what do you think of that, Drew?

44:10 Drew I'm sickened.

44:10 Adam I'm nobody's bitch. Danielle, and don't try to use that schoolyard psychology on me either because it always backfires. You know why? Because we're talking to a caller. Danielle? 16?

44:22 Caller Yes.

44:23 What's up?

44:24 Caller Well, my father sexually molested me from about 6 to 15, which was last year.

44:30 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

44:32 Caller Oh, yeah. And I actually called you guys and you guys convinced me to tell my mom. And I'm now wondering whether it depressed charges or not, because he actually seems like he's trying to obviously he said that he's sorry and all that good crap, but he's acting like he's trying to reform the family. He's trying to help out.

44:58 Drew What's he doing?

44:58 Dan Finnerty Because he's on to somebody else.

44:59 Drew He's on to some kind of cult or something. What are we doing here?

45:01 Adam Oh, I found Jesus. What's he doing?

45:04 Caller No, he's just said that he's found the error of his ways and all that.

45:08 Drew Danielle, don't worry about him right now. Worry about yourself. You need to get some help with this horrible, horrible trauma.

45:13 Caller I do want to get counseling.

45:14 Drew All right.

45:15 Adam Ooh, yeah.

45:16 Drew But what?

45:16 Caller If I get counseling before I'm 18, I will have to report it and I really don't know if I should.

45:20 Dan Finnerty Well, you should report it.

45:22 Caller I know I should.

45:23 Adam What does your mom think about the whole thing? And by the way, she's calling from Florida, so this is, I think, just a misdemeanor. A molestation, you just get essentially a...

45:32 Drew Citation.

45:33 Adam $23 fine.

45:35 Caller I was raised in Connecticut, so most of it was...

45:36 Adam Oh, okay, so it's more...

45:38 Drew They fled to Florida.

45:39 Adam Yeah.

45:39 Caller Oh yeah.

45:41 Drew Well, so he could carry on his activities.

45:42 Adam And what is Florida? Is it a state or septic tank? Like, is all the crap just roll into Florida? Is that how it works?

45:49 Caller Yes, it's in my backyard right now.

45:50 Adam Oh, yeah.

45:52 Drew And remember, there's a big difference between northern, central, and southern Florida.

45:55 Adam I know.

45:55 Drew So this is northern Florida behaviors, right?

45:57 Caller I'm actually near West Palm Beach, which is sort of southern Florida.

46:01 Adam I don't even know. I didn't know there was a part of Florida. I just knew it was just Florida. There's Shaq's house, and then there's everywhere else. And that's where all the trash resides. So Danielle, you sound relatively intact for someone who's been through what you've been through.

46:16 Caller Yeah, I actually am fairly stable.

46:20 Adam Which means you have a sort of good genetic, good constitution, and a good healthy sane streak in you.

46:29 Drew Oh, really?

46:30 Adam Well, we're picking it up on you for a second time, but that's not enough to overcome this horrible molestation.

46:36 Caller It wasn't violent. That's why I think I'm slightly normal.

46:38 Drew No, no. Worse. Yeah. Well, there's all kinds of horrible conflict. What's the matter with me tonight? Conflicted feelings develop as a result of being aroused by this and being you over. It's just a horrible feeling. It's very confusing.

46:51 Adam Is your mom on your side or not?

46:55 Caller She is sort of on my side, but she's a bit confused right now.

46:57 Adam Is she staying with your dad?

46:59 Caller She says that she's going to divorce him once I leave the house in a year until I'm going to college.

47:03 Adam Okay. Listen, Danielle, here's the deal. Whatever respect or whatever favors you owe your dad left the first time he molested you, you owe him zero.

47:12 Drew You just take care of yourself.

47:13 Adam He's owed lessons here. He's owed punishment at this point. You take care of yourself and nobody else with the possibility of me. Okay. That's it. It's done. And mom, when she heard about this, should have run to the police. No, no. Vomit should have came out of her nose. And then she should have ran to the police.

47:29 Dan Finnerty After she cut off his balls.

47:31 Adam That's right. So we know she was a molestation victim herself. That's another thing we know from studying polar bears. Dan's here from the Dan Band. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. Hey everybody, what is up? I'll tell you what. Drew, you know what I'll tell you right now? This close?

48:32 Drew This guy will drop trial. He will drop trial.

48:34 Dan Finnerty I swear to God, he will drop trial.

48:35 Drew He's wild, he will drop trial. Watch out, this guy's a radio maven. He drops trial everywhere.

48:39 Adam 731.31 after seven o'clock. The news, travel, and weather coming up top of the hour. We got Sylmar checking in at 58, Chatsworth checking in at 58, Rancho, Santo Margarita checking in 58 degrees, Glendale, 58, Burbank, 58, Encino checking in 58 degrees. I will drop trial.

48:59 Drew On the 110, mattress in Lanes. Watch out for brake lights on the 405.

49:04 Adam Watch out for brake lights, yeah. Sig alert, watch out. I got an argument with somebody about, here's, Dan is here by the way from the Dan Band. We're gonna hear something else off the CD. Big, big bravo premiere tomorrow night and then again on Sunday night. Oh, nobody, just Steven Spielberg. Put his considerable might behind the project. That's how big a fan he was.

49:27 Dan Finnerty 88 Goonies.

49:31 Adam Here's the, here's the thing about, I got an argument with someone about traffic and I haven't harped on it for a while, but I can't stand these goddamn traffic reports. I think they're a waste of time and everyone is brainwashed into thinking that they need them and thinking that they've used them and that they want them. And here's, here's, here's the challenge I put out to everybody. How many traffic reports have you heard in your life on morning radio or better yet, just sitting at home in your kitchen watching the TV drinking a cup of coffee when the morning show on Channel 5 breaks away for sky traffic? First off, three quarters of the goddamn traffic reports you've heard, you've not been in a vehicle. So think about that before you realize, before you shout out that you can't do without them. Number one. Number two, how many traffic reports have actually impacted you where you said, aha, I'm getting off this freeway. I'm going to get, and by the way, if you're getting off the freeway, 10,000 cars are getting off the freeway in front of you.

50:35 Dan Finnerty Because they just heard the traffic.

50:36 Adam Yeah. Oh, the 405 is not moving. We'll hop on. We'll hop on Sepulveda. It'll be like the salt flats of Mojave. I'll go 400 miles an hour. No, that's a parking lot too. Traffic reports don't do anything for anybody, and yet we all buy into them, and all they do is waste our time. By the way, when's the last time you heard a traffic report that had something to do with you and the freeway or the street you take? It's always there.

51:02 Drew However, I called somebody today, and there's a website, like a Sigler website or something, and you can see the rate of flow on these various different freeways, and I determined my, I had to get to Culver City at five in the afternoon, determined my route based on the information that I see.

51:18 Adam And ended up going the same way you always go.

51:21 Drew No, actually no. I never go, I went on the 405, which I never take.

51:25 Dan Finnerty Oh yeah?

51:26 Adam Why the 405? The slow and go on the 405. Because I was looking for brake lights.

51:29 Drew But there was brake lights on the 101.

51:32 Adam Yeah. I was like when they get kind of jovial about something, it sounds horrible too. They go, watch out on the 118 overpass, nuclear armament truck collided with a moped. So that's going to be some slow going on there. It's like, wow, that sounds like carnage, by the way. But it is a total nother waste of time. And all I want is for morning shows just to admit they got nothing to say in the pussy. There's nothing to say and please could we stand up against these things.

52:03 Dan Finnerty The helicopter, it's expensive. Like that's a lot of money they're sinking into this crappy report.

52:08 Adam Yeah, but one helicopter works for 30 stations. That's the way it works. And so here's my challenge. Here's my challenge to you, who he who thinks they rely on these traffic reports. How many have you actually used? How much time have you actually saved versus the collective time five minutes a day times your entire life of hearing these worthless things that have nothing to do with you? That translates into years off of your life versus the 12 minutes you've saved over the last eight years. The one time you heard one that was had pertinent information in it. Thank you. Caller. Caller.

52:46 Caller No calls. Yeah.

52:47 Adam And by the way, look out for brake lights on the 405. Slow and go. What are you even talking about you retards? Just get rid of the traffic report. No one wants to hear that. Get rid of the weather too. Nobody wants to hear that. The wrong. And we're in Southern California. Who gives a rat's ass? It's just all part of the bigger picture of people having nothing to say.

53:09 Drew Hello, Chris.

53:10 Adam Hi.

53:10 Drew How's it going there?

53:11 Adam Chris?

53:12 Caller All right.

53:12 Caller How are you?

53:13 Adam What's happening?

53:14 Caller Well, okay. After I orgasm with a female, I'm very happy. But when I orgasm, after I'm with a guy, I get very angry.

53:23 Drew Why are you with guys?

53:25 Caller Well, I like both. And every time my ex-boyfriend-

53:30 Drew All for an interpretation. Somebody did something to you awful when you were growing up and made you very sexual and confused. And you evoke, re-evoke some of those conflicted and traumatic feelings when you're actually with a guy.

53:42 Adam Why is she just hot-blooded?

53:44 Drew Yeah.

53:45 Caller Well, it's just like, it's just with guys.

53:49 Drew So what about what I just said?

53:50 Caller Well, yeah, I like being with guys, though, too.

53:54 Drew Just, did you hear what I said?

53:55 Adam Nobody hears what you say, Drew.

53:56 Caller I heard what you said, but...

53:57 Adam You're like one of those dog whistles.

53:59 Drew I really, I feel like Charlie Brown's teacher right now.

54:01 Adam You know what you are?

54:02 You're like a...

54:03 Adam You're a nerd whistle. Only nerds can hear you. Regular, cool people like me and Dan, we can't hear you.

54:09 Drew Well, if you guys, I'm just trying to talk to Chris. I don't really care about you guys.

54:12 Adam Hold on. Is he talking, Dan?

54:14 Dan Finnerty I didn't hear anything, man.

54:15 Drew See? That's so awesome. Hey, Michelle hears me.

54:17 Adam But yet, if we'd graduated from college, we'd know what he's talking about.

54:20 Dan Finnerty Exactly. Junior college.

54:22 Drew Oh, no, no. Not junior college.

54:23 Caller Nerd Whistle.

54:25 Adam It's a good name for a band, too. That should be an expand side project. Uh-huh. He's got himself a side project, Nerd Whistle. He got together with Travis from Blink and a couple of guys from Radiohead. They knew him. Something called Nerd Whistle.

54:37 Dan Finnerty nerdwhistle.com.

54:38 Adam That's right.

54:39 Drew Chris, what is your question?

54:40 Caller Well, I just don't know why I get so angry with guys.

54:43 Drew Well, I just mentioned that. I just told you why.

54:46 Adam What did Drew say to you? Did you hear him at all?

54:48 Caller Yeah, he said something probably had happened before.

54:52 Drew So what happened?

54:55 Caller I was raped when I was 12.

54:56 Drew Okay. And so that creates all kinds of awful feelings about men. And that's something you never... it wires into you. It's hard to get over that. It makes it very... Once you've been brutalized like that, it's very difficult to be sexual or to feel that sexual part of yourself. You seem to be able to do it with women. But men, you're attracted to men because part of that wiring is to be attracted to abusive guys having been abused.

55:18 Adam Who raped you at 12?

55:20 Caller My stepbrother's friend.

55:21 Drew Beautiful.

55:23 Adam How old was he?

55:24 Caller 21.

55:25 Drew Nice.

55:26 Adam Yeah, that's bad.

55:27 Drew I'm picking up a little physical abuse too with you.

55:31 Caller My mom when I was younger.

55:33 Drew And so that physical abuse also adds to all this trauma biology.

55:38 Adam Your mom beat on you?

55:39 Caller Yeah. That's when I was about 13.

55:42 Adam All right. Hold on a second, Drew. I've been wrong the last 27 times. I've made this declaration. I'm usually right about everything.

55:50 Drew But I've had to 12 beaten by her mom until she was 13.

55:54 Adam OK, I feel it. And I feel I feel strongly this time. Asian or Jew, I I'm going to. It's got to be one or the other. Chris.

56:05 Caller Yeah.

56:05 Adam You're Jewish, right? Ohio sexual abuse, physical abuse for your mother.

56:10 Caller Yeah.

56:12 Adam Are you Jewish?

56:13 Caller Yes.

56:14 Drew No, no, you're not.

56:17 Adam Are you really Jewish?

56:18 Caller Yes.

56:19 Drew No, no.

56:21 Adam Wait a minute, Drew. I may be right.

56:23 Caller Wow.

56:23 Dan Finnerty Look, I am.

56:25 Adam I'm a Jew.

56:26 Drew No way.

56:27 Adam Did did you have a bot mitzvah?

56:31 Caller No, no, only half. My dad was Jew.

56:36 Adam They go by the mother's religion and that.

56:38 Caller Well, my mom really doesn't have a religion, though.

56:40 Caller So you're Mormon.

56:43 Drew Mom's got to be something with a hot blooded.

56:44 Adam Wow. Anyone?

56:46 Caller My mom's Italian, but she really don't have a religion.

56:49 Adam Zesty Italian. Any you guys practice Judaism at all?

56:54 Caller When I lived with my dad, we did a little bit, but I don't study it.

56:59 Adam Wow. Drew, Drew, Drew's shaking his head.

57:04 Drew It just it just doesn't compute.

57:06 Adam He's labeled you goyum. He doesn't care. He doesn't care if your dad Kimball kindled the menorah every once that once in a blue moon. He's still he's still labeling you goyum material. Interesting, though, that is interesting. Never, never. Wow. I'm flabbergasted. All right. How about getting some? Counseling for this abuse you've had in the past.

57:30 Caller Yeah, I've been seeing the counselor at school.

57:33 Drew No, you need a you need a serious therapist. It's cool. Where do you go to school?

57:37 Caller Ohio State in Athens.

57:39 Drew And they have student health services?

57:41 Caller Yeah.

57:42 Drew All right. Keep going. Go regular. It's gonna take a while to sort through this. In the meantime, I know you're attracted to people that are abusive, but try to stay with people that are good for you, that you care about, that you feel good about when you've been sexual. And I know it's hard for you. You have tons of conflicted feelings about sexuality. Just try to do that.

57:59 Dan Finnerty Did she say she's attracted to abusive guys now? Because maybe she's just hardwired to be a straight female, and she just isn't, you know... She was abused, so she's not responding well to sex.

58:12 Drew No, no, she feels bad with men. She likes being with women.

58:16 Dan Finnerty But don't you think she likes being with women because she was molested?

58:18 Drew That's a lot of lesbians that way. A lot of gay men are that way, too. That sexual abuse sort of sets that all up.

58:25 Adam Hey, Chris, how about you slow it down a little bit and put the vagina on the top shelf?

58:34 Drew I'm just saying, do things that you actually like that make you feel good, not that make you feel bad. Very simple. Just take care of yourself and then do the therapy. You're going to need it for a while. Okay, thanks a lot. Okay.

58:43 Adam All right. Take care. And look, here's the thing, everybody. I think women have this luxury. They get confused and they start acting out and they got abused in the past. So, they just start sleeping with tons of guys. They're sleeping with tons of chicks or doing whatever. And they start spiraling down. And their self-esteem gets affected. And what they really need is something they're into that's totally outside of the bedroom.

59:11 Drew Right.

59:12 Adam And guys oftentimes don't have this problem because we can't get laid.

59:15 Drew Right.

59:16 Adam You know what I mean?

59:17 Drew Yes.

59:17 Adam I would have loved to have gotten into one of those sex-driven shame spirals when I was like in my early 20s.

59:26 Drew Couldn't do it.

59:26 Adam But I couldn't. So I had to take up kickboxing. You know what I mean?

59:30 Drew Right.

59:30 Adam We're forced to actually go do things where women can put out and kill five years easy just having, you know, drinking a tequila and getting in a three-way. It's easy.

59:41 Dan Finnerty Yeah.

59:42 Adam Yeah. We didn't have that. Dan, I'm guessing that wasn't an option that you had either.

59:47 Dan Finnerty No, man.

59:48 Drew No shame spiral.

59:49 Dan Finnerty No, no.

59:50 Adam Sexual shame spiral.

59:51 Dan Finnerty I'm still working towards one.

59:53 Adam Yeah.

59:53 Dan Finnerty Yeah.

59:53 Adam Me too.

59:54 Drew I'm just thinking about the many of the... What's Michelle, you may bring in on this one if you don't mind.

59:59 Adam Michelle's a lesbian by the way.

1:00:00 Drew I would say about every lesbian I've treated was brutalized by a male at some point in her life. The ones I treat, you know what I mean? I'm seeing a specific population. Is that common or is that a pretty small piece of the lesbian landscape?

1:00:13 Adam Let me just say this. Don't start crying. If you make her start crying, I'm going to get weird.

1:00:19 I think a lot of them, yes, but not necessarily when they're young, like before 10.

1:00:24 Drew Oh, really?

1:00:25 It might have happened in adult life. Later, even.

1:00:27 Drew Interesting.

1:00:27 Caller Yeah.

1:00:28 Drew You're right. I think about some of the ones, both. I've got both in mind.

1:00:31 Caller Yeah. It's basically like date rapes that are friends.

1:00:34 Drew But really brutalized, like repeatedly, and it's like, oh, screw this.

1:00:37 Adam You mean sexually or in any way?

1:00:39 Drew Just sort of emotionally and sexually, both, I'd say. Not physically necessarily, but emotionally and sexually usually.

1:00:46 Adam Yeah. All right. So what is your hypotheses?

1:00:49 Drew We don't think, just like with gay men, we don't talk about how sexual trauma has sort of set that up. It's a little different with gay women, though. I agree with Michelle. It's more of like, enough.

1:00:59 Adam With guys?

1:01:00 Drew Yeah.

1:01:00 Adam Well, I think our feeling is that women are a little more flexible sexually.

1:01:06 Drew Yeah.

1:01:07 Adam Not resilient. They're flexible.

1:01:09 Drew Yeah.

1:01:10 Adam They're malleable sexually. They can be attracted to, you know, a totally straight woman could be totally attracted to a beautiful woman she works with if she, you know, is, is, has a good heart or she really digs her or she went to, you know, here's, here's the point. If there's an attractive chick that another chick worked with and that chick said she's having an art opening and the person went to it really dug her art, she could easily go down on her that night. Easily. Straight. Whereas a guy, guy doesn't do that.

1:01:43 Drew Guy doesn't wait for the art exhibit.

1:01:45 Adam Yeah. But yeah, no, guy, guy wouldn't go like I wouldn't go to another guy's house and go, wow, you did that whole rebuild on that big block. Let me give you oral. Like all we want to do is punch him and take it from him. But we don't want to perform oral on him.

1:02:04 Drew Right.

1:02:04 Caller No, no.

1:02:05 Adam No, women are more flexible sexually.

1:02:09 Drew More evolved.

1:02:10 Adam Well, Drew calls it evolved. But I just call it more flexible. And so here's the thing. So if a woman was not treated right by man or men, or just got turned off to men, she could be with women. Whereas guys, all we want to do is kill hookers if the opposite happens. Well, it's sad, but that's what guys do. We don't have that flexibility. Like, my mom was kind of a bitch and she was neglectful. I'm going to start blowing guys. That's my thing. It's tougher to get us to go over. That's why women, by the way, can have a phase where they're just, yeah, I was with women for five years and now married and I have six kids.

1:02:50 Dan Finnerty Because it's more emotional for a woman than it is for men.

1:02:52 Adam I think there's flexibility there. Not all of them.

1:02:56 Dan Finnerty But there are genetically gay men and gay women. That was their path.

1:03:01 Drew There's that too. Absolutely. But it's sort of a mixed bag.

1:03:04 Adam Yeah. Now, they know it early. Michelle, when did you know it?

1:03:08 Caller Grammar school.

1:03:09 Adam When did you know Drew was gay? Oh, I knew he was gay two weeks after I met him. Yeah. But grammar school.

1:03:18 Caller Yeah.

1:03:19 Adam Wow. Fifth grade, fourth grade?

1:03:22 Caller Third grade.

1:03:23 Adam Third grade. Wow. Did you feel weird?

1:03:26 Caller Yeah, but I just didn't say anything.

1:03:28 Adam Yeah. Yeah. You're okay?

1:03:30 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:03:30 Drew You're a lesbian. You're a lesbian.

1:03:32 Adam So you knew her.

1:03:33 Drew You're a lesbian.

1:03:34 Caller Yes.

1:03:34 Adam So you weren't made in the lab. You came out that way, right? You weren't created in the basement by weird old Uncle Lou.

1:03:42 Drew No. Bad dad.

1:03:43 Adam Bad dad? No, her dad's a good guy.

1:03:45 Drew Yeah, good. That's what I'm saying.

1:03:46 Caller Parents still married.

1:03:48 Adam Oh, her dad is? That's an inspector.

1:03:51 Drew Building inspector?

1:03:52 Adam Building inspector.

1:03:52 Drew How come he can't help you?

1:03:54 Adam I call them, believe me. Try to kiss his ass. Believe you me. Send over a basket. Oh, really? Yeah.

1:04:01 Dan Finnerty What kind of basket?

1:04:03 Adam I mean basket.

1:04:03 Dan Finnerty Exactly.

1:04:04 Adam Yeah.

1:04:04 Dan Finnerty That's the way.

1:04:05 Drew That's for sure.

1:04:06 Adam Why doesn't the whole family swing that way? That's my take.

1:04:09 Drew Susie, 21.

1:04:10 Adam Acorn don't fall too far from the tree. You know what I mean? Susie? You're 21?

1:04:19 Drew Come on, Susie, you gotta be there.

1:04:21 Adam No, she doesn't.

1:04:22 Drew Because we've lost. She's been back online. There we are.

1:04:25 Adam What's up, Susie? What's happening? Drew, stop making noise.

1:04:29 Drew Hi, guys.

1:04:30 Adam Hey.

1:04:30 Drew What's happening?

1:04:31 Caller Well, I had my daughter almost a year ago. Right after I had her, maybe a couple months after I lost all six, she'll drive. Even now, I'm like, How long ago did you have her?

1:04:43 A year ago?

1:04:45 Caller Almost a year ago. She'll be one in three months.

1:04:48 Drew That is very common for a number of different reasons. Are you still breastfeeding?

1:04:52 Caller No, I stopped after like five months.

1:04:54 Drew Okay, breastfeeding will shut you down. Just the hormonal changes of pregnancy will shut you down. The stress of dealing with a baby is not easy. Not liking, really, not feeling sexual because of your body changes affect this. This is a lot of stuff. Sometimes getting on birth control pill or getting on some hormones really helps kickstart things. So you should talk to your doctor about that.

1:05:15 Adam Where's baby's daddy?

1:05:17 Caller Oh, we're still together.

1:05:18 Drew Oh, that's how you notice the wisdom of it. We dare to ask where the husband is.

1:05:22 Adam Not your husband, though.

1:05:23 Drew The baby's daddy.

1:05:24 Caller Yeah.

1:05:25 Drew I don't think I'm ready yet. How dare you? Oh, no, that's a commitment. That's a commitment. Yeah.

1:05:31 Caller You're sure?

1:05:32 Adam No, it's refreshing.

1:05:34 Drew A child, that's just 18 years with marriage, that's... Yeah.

1:05:37 Caller Well, the way I see it, my parents, I don't know who my real dad is, so I'd rather...

1:05:42 Caller Well, shocked.

1:05:43 Drew We are Adam? Adam. Adam. Can I scrape you off the floor with a spatula?

1:05:48 Adam No, because I'm going to be scraping you off the floor with a spatula, Drew. So, Suzy, you don't know who your real dad is?

1:05:55 Caller No.

1:05:55 Drew You're going to make sure that your child doesn't know who his dad is? It's funny how that works.

1:05:59 Caller Yeah, exactly. So I just want to be sure the person I'm going to marry, I'm going to be with her.

1:06:03 Drew Yeah, because you wouldn't want the baby to know her dad. Yeah.

1:06:06 Adam How about you not have the kid until you get married? How about that strategy?

1:06:09 Caller Well, that was an option, too. That was an option.

1:06:12 Drew Yeah. She was aware of that option. Okay.

1:06:14 Caller Yeah, I was aware of that option. I decided to take the high road.

1:06:18 Drew The high road.

1:06:19 Adam So you're just, okay. Well, that's noble of you. And you're what we call old-fashioned. You don't hear that anymore. Young people so often today.

1:06:28 Drew I'd say Victorian.

1:06:29 Adam I know. Today, you hear about the young kids, they're getting married, they're going to college, they're starting families after they're settled. But, and it breaks your heart. But once in a while, there's a, once in a while, someone like Suzy comes along and craps out a kid.

1:06:49 Drew Takes the high road, as she says.

1:06:50 Adam That's how she gets married, takes the high road. Yeah.

1:06:53 Caller Well, I didn't mean the high road, but I just, you know, made a decision and I said, this is the best thing for me right now in my life and am I gonna stick to it? Am I gonna take my guns? And I said, yeah, I'm gonna do it. And you know, I know I'm a statistic, but you know, at least I'm a good statistic, I guess.

1:07:11 Drew You know, God bless you. I just think if Adam and I decide to take the high road at 20, think about what that would've been like.

1:07:16 Caller Yeah, well, I have been taking birth control, though, so I think that might get better.

1:07:22 Drew Well, that may be shutting you down sexually, too. There's certain pills that make things worse. You gotta work with your doctor. Sometimes the ortho ever a patch. You're on the shot?

1:07:30 Adam Yeah, depo.

1:07:31 Drew That totally shuts you down. That's why you're having a problem. The shot, that's a typical side effect of the depo shot.

1:07:37 Adam Are you not in love with the guy who's the father? What's his deal?

1:07:41 Caller Well, yeah, we're living together. We have a family, family atmosphere real good.

1:07:47 Drew But she has to get rid of him. She can't have her baby know her dad.

1:07:50 Adam Yeah, why don't you guys just go ahead and get married then?

1:07:53 Caller Because, like I said before, my mom never married my dad for a reason and I don't want to marry somebody and then find out when she's 12, oh, that's not the person I wanna be with or him find out some more later on.

1:08:07 Adam By the way, the over under is 3.5, it's not 12.

1:08:10 Drew And by the way, that's why things like, there's a sort of a value placed on commitment. You hang in with those relationships. Even when you say, I don't want to be with this guy, you hang in.

1:08:18 Dan Finnerty But why should she get married if she doesn't want to get married?

1:08:20 Adam That's fine, who cares? But Susie, your reason that you don't want to get married is because you don't want to make the mistake your mom made, which is not having a dad around.

1:08:30 Drew Which is the mistake you're making.

1:08:31 Dan Finnerty But the dad's around.

1:08:32 Caller No, no, I just don't want to. Yeah, he's around. I mean, he's so proud of being a dad and all that stuff. I mean.

1:08:38 Drew You seem intent on getting rid of him.

1:08:39 Adam Does he not want to get married?

1:08:40 Dan Finnerty Yeah, has he asked you to marry him?

1:08:43 Caller Well, no, obviously, no, he hasn't. So, it's somewhat of the same situation happened with him, but it happened when he was younger and his dad left his mom. So, I think we're both sort of a different sections of the boat, I guess you could say, in the same canoe, different sections of the boat, I guess. I could make that metaphoric.

1:09:04 Dan Finnerty Wow. The baby's in the middle of the canoe.

1:09:07 Caller Well, I mean, we're in the same boat, kind of the same situation.

1:09:10 Drew Yeah, yeah, get it. Yeah, well said, we got it.

1:09:12 Dan Finnerty All right.

1:09:13 Caller Okay. All right. I don't know.

1:09:15 Adam Is it one of those fiberglass canoes or is it the one where the pelts are stretched over the wood frame?

1:09:20 Caller No, it's the old-fashioned wood one.

1:09:22 Drew Pelts.

1:09:23 Adam The wood one with the pelt?

1:09:25 Drew Susie.

1:09:25 Adam Because some of the Indians would carve them right out of logs. You know, one solid.

1:09:30 Drew Chop it out of the log?

1:09:31 Adam Yeah, one solid. They burn the inside of the log and then scrape it out.

1:09:35 Drew Susie, you sound so smart. Make some decisions on your own, okay? I will. All right. But make good ones. So don't make them based. Whenever you react to your family of origin, when you're reacting to it, it's going to be a bad decision. Whether you're reacting in a way, sort of like a robot and acting out the same thing that happened in your family of origin or going the exact 180-degree opposite to make sure it doesn't happen, you're still making bad choices and doing something that's going to have a profound effect on your child.

1:10:02 Adam What's that have to do with kayaking? Are we talking about kayaking?

1:10:06 Drew Burning the inside of the blog. Yeah.

1:10:08 Adam Okay. All right. So it's one of the older ones with the pelt.

1:10:11 Dan Finnerty Yeah.

1:10:12 Drew Okay. You've established that.

1:10:13 Dan Finnerty That was it.

1:10:13 Adam I like the idea that she definitely had feelings about it.

1:10:20 Dan Finnerty I like the canoe thing.

1:10:21 Adam I do too.

1:10:22 Dan Finnerty That was nice.

1:10:23 Adam Yeah. She's a metaphor pioneer, by the way. We're both on the starboard. Well, he's on the aft side of the...

1:10:35 Dan Finnerty He's on the lead.

1:10:36 Adam What you don't want to do is you don't want to count your paddles. Before yours hatch. All right. All right. Good. No more kids, though. Please. All right. Let's let's take a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Savannah. Does... What is that?

1:10:57 Drew Birth control.

1:10:57 Adam Oh, birth control. It's not that I couldn't read birth control. It's just a BCF. It's like, boy, we have weird designations here. It's like porn. Double DPs and stuff like that.

1:11:09 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah. Milk. That's strange enough you know.

1:11:11 Adam ADPs, yeah. Does birth control affect the ability to have orgasm? She's having trouble. Yeah, I want to talk to her. Just lost virginity. How long before the sex stops hurting? Starting taking, started taking steroids, the balls shrank.

1:11:27 Dan Finnerty Ouch.

1:11:27 Drew Well, this could be for you. It could take care of that problem.

1:11:30 Dan Finnerty He's talking to Adam. Yeah.

1:11:32 Drew I don't, I don't know. Maybe you too.

1:11:35 Adam I don't want to put muscle on, but I am interested in shrinking my sack. So for that reason, I might get on the juice.

1:11:43 Drew We'll tell you how we convince Jimmy Kimmel that Adam actually had a scrotoplasty.

1:11:48 Adam That saddens me, Drew. You know, we were at a wedding a few weeks back and we were trying, I thought we were having a good time. I thought we were.

1:11:57 Drew I thought we were telling a joke.

1:11:58 Adam We were eating. I think we were high was the problem. And Drew made a joke at the table by saying Adam had scrotoplasty. And because I'm a great improvisational comedian, I went along with it and I just explained to the table that I had a little asymmetry in the sack and that one ball hung a little closer to terra firma than the other one. And the problem was, the reason I had the repeated surgeries, is I had the ball lift, but they brought it up to high. Which of course now gave me the same problem with the other nut. And that one got raised and they pulled that up to high.

1:12:35 Drew And we started talking about straightening out the dartos tunic and ironing out the wrinkles.

1:12:39 Adam Right, and Jimmy yelled, I knew it. And then he made this proclamation, if there's anyone I know who would undergo scrotal plastic surgery would be Adam Corolla. And that's when it stopped us. It stopped being funny.

1:13:00 Drew Yeah, it got a little weird at that point.

1:13:02 Adam I was like, anyone you know to have scrotal surgery would be me. He who does almost no physical maintenance whatsoever.

1:13:12 Drew I'll attest to that.

1:13:13 Adam Thank you.

1:13:13 Dan Finnerty Ouch.

1:13:14 Adam Thank you. It really hurts.

1:13:16 Dan Finnerty I just went to the bathroom with you guys.

1:13:18 Drew Yeah, and you thought I was talking about it, right?

1:13:20 Adam You know what I mean, right?

1:13:22 Dan Finnerty I'm gonna walk out of there.

1:13:23 Adam You felt it. We'll take ourselves a little break dance here from Dan Bandai. Here's something else off the new CD, something you might hear on Tomorrow Night's Bravo special, perhaps. Take a quick break. Be right back after this.

1:13:36 Drew Hello, what is this?

1:13:38 Caller This is Loveline.

1:13:39 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191, Loveline. We'll be right back.

1:13:58 Adam Hello, kiddies. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1, or Dan is here from the Dan Band. CD is out. CD is live, and you can find him on Bravo tomorrow night, 11 o'clock, doing a live concert. Spielberg, Steven Spielberg presents, Mick G. Was he, he directed the show?

1:14:23 Dan Finnerty He directed it, yep.

1:14:24 Adam How much directing is involved in a live concert? He just stood there and rocked out.

1:14:28 Dan Finnerty Yeah, you know, no, he did a lot. He helped come up with the set. We kind of like the set, because we do the show every other Friday at Avalon here in LA. It's just the basic Avalon black box set, but Mick G. Mick Gified the set. It looks like Vegas threw up on it.

1:14:45 Adam Where did you shoot it? You shoot at Avalon?

1:14:47 Dan Finnerty At Avalon, yep.

1:14:48 Adam So they just got in and dressed the place up.

1:14:49 Dan Finnerty Yep.

1:14:50 Adam When did you shoot it?

1:14:52 Dan Finnerty Shot it like six months ago. So, it's just been, you know, waiting to be born. Tomorrow's the birthing.

1:14:59 Adam All right.

1:14:59 Dan Finnerty Yeah.

1:14:59 Adam Well, get ready for the, have your placenta rock.

1:15:04 Dan Finnerty Yeah.

1:15:04 Adam Tomorrow night. Yes, sir. You cool? What's going on?

1:15:08 Drew My placenta is rocking right now.

1:15:09 Adam Are you thinking about something? Yeah. What are you thinking about?

1:15:13 Drew That my nose hurts.

1:15:14 Adam What's the matter with your nose?

1:15:15 Drew I don't know. Something hurts right here.

1:15:16 Adam A little too much of the Tutski? Hey, let me tell you something about the 80s. First off, everyone did it, okay? Everyone did it. And number two, when you're going to med school and you're sometimes pulling 20-hour shifts.

1:15:31 Dan Finnerty It's free. It's all there.

1:15:32 Adam And interning and all internships and all that kind of stuff. I mean, it's just... And they didn't know it was bad for you back then. You know what I mean?

1:15:39 Dan Finnerty Yeah.

1:15:39 Adam Angel dust. Used to be in Coke. Used to be in Coca-Cola. You know?

1:15:44 Caller Eric?

1:15:45 Drew Yeah. Freud thought it cured heroin addiction.

1:15:47 Adam That's right. Eric, Drew, we're cool. You don't have to sell me. You're 19. What's up?

1:15:55 Caller Well, the thing is, me and my girlfriend were very sexually open, right? And we tried having anal intercourse about two times, but both of them were very horrific experiences for her because the second I put myself in, not even like just my head went in and that made her cry on both occasions because the first time she was like, yeah, okay, let's try it. And then that happened. And it's like a couple of months later.

1:16:28 I'm a big boy.

1:16:29 Drew Eric, okay, so that's it. That's going to be her experience every time. That's it. Just give it time? Yeah, that's not going to work for her.

1:16:38 Caller It's not going to work for her?

1:16:39 Drew No, you're harming her. That's why it hurts.

1:16:41 Caller Well, I pretty much figure that, but she wants to and I want to, but she doesn't want to. I want to, yeah, I mean, I want to, but she says she's down to do it, but she's just scared that it hurts.

1:16:57 Drew Right, because you're harming her.

1:16:59 Dan Finnerty She just wants to make you happy.

1:17:00 Adam Why would she want to do something that hurts her?

1:17:03 Drew That's harmful to her. Not just hurting, her body's telling her that there's trauma going onto the tissue down there.

1:17:08 Adam Let me explain something to all stupid guys listening to the show, and that's all of you. Here's the thing. You cannot, okay, here's what I've had an ass full of in the society.

1:17:20 Drew Well, strangely enough.

1:17:21 Adam I've had an ass full of having an ass full. People want, people have an agenda, whether it's anal sex or some business decision. People have an agenda. And what they do is they just sort of make themselves.

1:17:39 Drew Strangely, they cram it up the took eye.

1:17:40 Adam Yes. We're not so.

1:17:42 Drew Literally and figuratively in this case.

1:17:44 Adam Right. What she is saying is, is I wish I could do this, but I can't because it's painful and I don't want to do it.

1:17:54 Drew No, I would love to be able to, we can maybe find out a way.

1:17:56 Adam What Eric is hearing is she wants to do it.

1:17:59 Drew Right.

1:18:01 Adam You understand the difference?

1:18:02 Drew Yes.

1:18:04 Adam Eric.

1:18:05 Caller Yeah.

1:18:06 Adam She gave you two cracks at her crack. That's one and a half more than I usually get.

1:18:13 Drew That's one too many.

1:18:16 Caller No lube, no nothing, no letter on her own page.

1:18:19 Adam I remember when my dad got me my first butt plug. Let me explain something and that's out of context. Let me explain something with the lube. Your lube window has slammed shut and been painted closed. That lube window was anal sex round number two. If you're not smart enough to bust out the lube in that particular case, you don't deserve a third chance, my friend.

1:18:46 Caller Well, yeah.

1:18:48 Adam Okay. All right. Listen, it takes a big man to admit when he's a dune.

1:18:53 Drew You can cause hemorrhoids, tears, fissures, abscesses, fistulas, and prolapse. They're basically a tear. It's a sort of eroded area down the side of it. The anus is an area that gets tons of pathology, particularly women as they age anyway. You do stuff like that to her when she's young, it's going to be a long life.

1:19:12 Adam Really?

1:19:13 Drew Yeah.

1:19:15 Adam So you're saying you only get one anus, anus, anuses?

1:19:19 Drew No, you only get one crack at it.

1:19:20 Adam You only get one crack at anus. Here's the thing. If you try anal sex one time and your girlie ain't into it and she's good enough to go ahead and sign up for second tour in anus numb, you better show up with a big bucket of Coke and a bunch of anusol and a big tub of water soluble goo and like 30 condoms and a candle and a like box set of Sex and the City. Don't just show up for one more dry run and then then be befuddled when it doesn't feel good for a second time. Expect you get a third time. She wishes she could... No no she's just she's just trying to shut you up.

1:20:14 Drew Leave her alone. This is back to the idea of anybody should be able to do anything. If we could just find the right technique.

1:20:20 Adam Yeah, she ain't into it. Leave her alone. Leave her ass alone. Please.

1:20:25 Dan Finnerty Well said.

1:20:26 Adam Savannah? Yes.

1:20:28 Drew You're 22?

1:20:29 Adam Adam Corolla. Corolla. Yay. Yay.

1:20:33 Drew Adam Corolla.

1:20:35 Adam See Dan I'm trying to get Marco Polo in the pool.

1:20:38 Dan Finnerty It changed to your name.

1:20:40 Adam Corolla.

1:20:41 Caller Adam Corolla.

1:20:43 Drew Adam's jacking off the jacuzzi.

1:20:44 Adam Yeah yeah that's my fish out of water.

1:20:46 Dan Finnerty Oh alright.

1:20:47 Adam It's a little bumpy.

1:20:49 Drew We're working it out.

1:20:49 Dan Finnerty We're working it out. We're almost there.

1:20:51 Drew You know what I mean.

1:20:52 Adam Yeah. Do you have a pool Dan?

1:20:54 Dan Finnerty Yeah I do.

1:20:54 Adam You do?

1:20:55 Dan Finnerty Yeah.

1:20:56 Adam Hmm. Do you swim in it? You dabble? Yeah. You ever play Marco Polo?

1:21:01 Dan Finnerty Sure.

1:21:01 Adam With the kids and the nieces and nephews or anything?

1:21:03 Dan Finnerty Yeah.

1:21:03 Adam Could you go ahead and change that to Adam Corolla?

1:21:05 Dan Finnerty I'm gonna work it out. Yeah. Alright.

1:21:06 Adam You gotta do it sing songy.

1:21:08 Dan Finnerty Adam Corolla. Done.

1:21:10 Adam Okay.

1:21:11 Dan Finnerty Alright. It's on my next album too.

1:21:12 Adam Thanks.

1:21:13 Dan Finnerty Yeah.

1:21:13 Adam Please. Alright. Are we talking to Savannah?

1:21:17 Yes.

1:21:18 Adam What's happening, baby doll?

1:21:20 I am curious because I went to my nurse practitioner and I asked her because when I have I'm on the breath control pill I have a harder time orgasming and she said she had never heard of that and I was wondering if Dr. Drew had heard of that.

1:21:33 Drew It's actually rather common. It's actually rather common. It can affect orgasm function and libido or sex drive. When the estrogen passes through the liver it changes the level of something called sex hormone binding globulin so that determines how much sex hormone is free and available in your blood basically both testosterone and estrogen and then that's what that estrogen does that to some women not all. It's why the patch sometime is better in terms of avoiding the side effect.

1:22:02 Adam Because the patch doesn't go through your liver?

1:22:04 Drew Doesn't go through the liver exactly. In other women.

1:22:06 Adam Well, wait a second. The patch gets in your bloodstream.

1:22:09 Drew Right into your skin. So it doesn't go from your gut to your liver. Everything from your gut goes right to your liver before it gets into your bloodstream.

1:22:15 Adam Yeah.

1:22:16 Drew First pass.

1:22:17 Adam First pass. And then what about stuff that's in your blood? Does that get to your liver?

1:22:22 Drew It gets slowly metabolized but it's not getting all in there all at once out of the gut.

1:22:26 Adam It gets diluted.

1:22:27 Drew Yeah, it's diluted and it sees it slowly and it's metabolized through there but it's not this big load that affects, again, circulating sex hormone binding glabula.

1:22:34 Adam Oh, okay. So, as far as...

1:22:36 Drew And the liver is where all these proteins and things that circulate in your blood are manufactured. And so the adjustments are made by the liver based on what it's sort of seeing.

1:22:45 Adam So as far as me and the booze goes, scotch enema...

1:22:52 Drew And?

1:22:52 Adam Is that better for the liver?

1:22:54 Drew No, that... No, because with alcohol it's not so much about... It's what's circulating in your blood.

1:23:00 Dan Finnerty What about a vodka patch?

1:23:02 Adam Yeah, what about that?

1:23:02 Drew I'm afraid not, it's all about the same. We should invent that, though. Savannah, here's the deal. That's one... Again, because women are so different...

1:23:08 Adam Season one of the man show, by the way.

1:23:10 Drew But go ahead. But women are so different, diverse. Some women have only increased libido from estrogen, and some women are shut down by the progesterone, which is the more androgenizing or male hormone effects of the female sex hormones. And other women get aroused by the progesterone. So it's all... Women are all over the place.

1:23:27 Adam So get on the patch.

1:23:28 Drew So you have to work with your... Try the patch first, then maybe the more progesterone dominant pills or vice versa. If you're on a mini pill now, get on something with some more estrogen. If that doesn't work, then you try the patch.

1:23:39 Yeah, I've tried the tricyclin and the mono. So I'll go on the patch. Thank you so much.

1:23:42 Drew I appreciate that.

1:23:44 Adam Savannah?

1:23:45 Caller Yes?

1:23:45 Adam What's up?

1:23:47 Drew You want any other medication?

1:23:49 Caller I'm sorry?

1:23:49 Drew Are you on any other medication?

1:23:52 Caller Lexapro, but I was...

1:23:55 Drew Lexapro.

1:23:56 Caller Lexapro before, with the blood, with the blood and the orgasm. And then I got off it and I was just on the straight Lexapro and I had no problem at all.

1:24:05 Drew Well, Lexapro and all the serotonin reuptake inhibitors definitely affect orgasm and libido. So that may be part of the problem.

1:24:12 Adam How's your man doing?

1:24:14 Caller My man is very good.

1:24:16 Adam Okay.

1:24:17 Caller So I went to something else and I'm not satisfied with that. So...

1:24:21 Adam All right, now I'm bored. 10 seconds ago I went to talk to her, but now I'm bored again. Time for a break.

1:24:28 Drew Time to pee.

1:24:29 Adam Time to pee?

1:24:30 Drew Time for a break.

1:24:31 Adam Time for a break?

1:24:32 Drew Time to pee.

1:24:32 Adam Time to pee? When we get back...

1:24:34 Drew Adam Corolla. Well done.

1:24:37 Dan Finnerty Thanks.

1:24:39 Adam Let's see, Stephen started taking steroids. He just came back. Where was he?

1:24:45 Drew Want to ask him?

1:24:46 Adam No. Okay to expose new baby to grandpa molestation issues. Uh-oh. Here's a nice one. Found incense, incense, incense, incest porn in dad's cabinet. How do you explain that one away, by the way? You know what I mean?

1:25:06 Drew You just hope somebody else put it there.

1:25:08 Adam Here's the deal. If I found weird incest porn, my dad, I would just hire a hobo to kill him. And it would be good for him too. You know what I mean? Dive with a little dignity, with no embarrassment for the family, no shame. Drifter coming through town.

1:25:25 Dan Finnerty A hobo kill.

1:25:26 Adam Clean, clean hobo kill. Just give him like 75 bucks. Maybe a tiquiza.

1:25:32 Dan Finnerty Yeah.

1:25:34 Adam Comp him for the Dan Band Show Friday night.

1:25:36 Dan Finnerty This Friday at Avalon.

1:25:36 Adam That's all he needs. Or at the Avalon.

1:25:38 Dan Finnerty Hobos get in free.

1:25:39 Adam Hobos free. All right. We will. But not it. But by the way, not bums or street urchin drug addicts. Hobos.

1:25:50 Dan Finnerty Railroad people.

1:25:50 Adam Old school.

1:25:51 Dan Finnerty I want like a stick with that.

1:25:53 Adam Yeah.

1:25:53 Dan Finnerty Kerchief.

1:25:54 Adam Yeah.

1:25:54 Drew Red and white polka dots. Yeah, that's right.

1:25:56 Dan Finnerty Top hat with like a little. Yeah.

1:25:58 Adam You're going to need to know the words to King of the Road. Trailer for Sailor. At least half that song. Otherwise, no official hobo. And yeah, yeah. Hole in the bottom of the shoe. And also you will have had to have cooked your shoe at one point.

1:26:13 Dan Finnerty Exactly.

1:26:14 Drew At least the strings.

1:26:15 Adam Yeah, that's funny. Yeah.

1:26:16 Caller All right.

1:26:16 Adam Let's take a little break. We'll be right back after this.

1:26:22 Caller Love Line Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:26:26 Caller We'll be right back. The one and only live one oh five.

1:26:36 Adam Hey, everybody. Love Line. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Dan's here from the Dan Band. Dr. Drew gave me a peanut M&M. Peanut M&Ms are so much better than regular M&Ms. I get angry at people that buy regular M&Ms.

1:26:52 Dan Finnerty I don't like them.

1:26:53 Drew The peanut M&Ms?

1:26:53 Dan Finnerty I don't like them. There I said it.

1:26:55 Drew Do you not like peanuts?

1:26:56 Dan Finnerty No, I like peanuts.

1:26:58 Adam Yeah?

1:26:58 Dan Finnerty I just don't like, I don't like a nut in my candy.

1:27:01 Adam What about in your mouth, son?

1:27:02 Dan Finnerty Yeah, that's right.

1:27:03 Adam Yeah. I have a big digus ass.

1:27:05 Dan Finnerty Only years of side surgery.

1:27:06 Drew I know that. I know that. I'm a born witness.

1:27:09 Adam Hold on, Dan. And by the way, it's good that you brought this up at the end of the show. Because if you would have brought this up at the beginning of the show.

1:27:14 Dan Finnerty The peanut thing or the nut thing?

1:27:16 Adam The peanut thing. We would have had problems.

1:27:18 Dan Finnerty Really?

1:27:19 Adam I got to be honest with you.

1:27:20 Dan Finnerty I mean, do you like nothing worse than a nice muffin with a nut in it or a brownie? It kills the brownie.

1:27:26 Adam I'm getting hungry and horny, Drew. No, a nut does not kill the brownie.

1:27:32 Dan Finnerty Yeah. No, it throws your tooth off. Your tooth gets used to a certain texture of crunch in the brownie. No crunch at all, just a nice soft gummy chew. And then you get hurt with a nut.

1:27:43 Drew I can appreciate the man that appreciates texture.

1:27:46 Dan Finnerty That's hurt.

1:27:48 Adam Yeah, you get hurt with a nut.

1:27:51 Dan Finnerty When you're trying to gum something.

1:27:52 Adam Yeah. Well, you just got to time it right and turn your head.

1:27:55 Dan Finnerty Oh, nice. Relax and push into it.

1:27:57 Adam You get pink eye. Here's the thing. Walnuts are good.

1:28:03 Dan Finnerty Walnuts are the devil.

1:28:05 Drew Oh, see? You heard the C. You say something like that.

1:28:07 Adam Now, wait a second. Let me just see where we're at here in the nut department. Macadamia nuts. What do you think?

1:28:14 Dan Finnerty Not a fan.

1:28:15 Drew Cashews?

1:28:16 Dan Finnerty I like a cashew.

1:28:17 Drew Almonds.

1:28:18 Dan Finnerty I like almonds. Like on the plane where they give you the warm nuts. That's good, but I always toss the walnuts over to my lady.

1:28:25 Adam Hazelnuts.

1:28:27 Dan Finnerty Hazelnuts? I don't know.

1:28:28 Drew Soybeans.

1:28:29 Dan Finnerty I'll do a soybean. Is that a nut?

1:28:31 Adam Not really. I think it's in the legume family.

1:28:34 Dan Finnerty There it is.

1:28:34 Drew But it's in those cups that come in the American Alliance.

1:28:37 Dan Finnerty Oh, right.

1:28:37 Adam Yeah, they start filling the thing out. Made me angry.

1:28:40 Drew I know, what is that?

1:28:40 Dan Finnerty It's like a caper though.

1:28:41 Drew All of a sudden, it's all soybeans.

1:28:44 Caller Drew.

1:28:46 Adam Yeah, here's the thing. Drew, you and I are turning into like old post-menopausal rich broads, I mean, lovey from Gila Tana. I flew, I fly first class because.

1:29:06 Dan Finnerty Cause you're Adam.

1:29:07 Adam Corolla. No, because I force people to fly me first class cause it's like, look, you want me to come out to wherever and do whatever, you got to float me in first class ticket.

1:29:16 Dan Finnerty You're a tall guy, you can't have your knees in the seat.

1:29:18 Adam That's right. That's right. And besides, I want to slum it back there with the, you know, the working people. There's my pick up Hep C or maybe just a bad habit.

1:29:28 Dan Finnerty Junior college kids.

1:29:29 Adam Yeah. Yeah. The point is.

1:29:31 Drew Keep them focused.

1:29:32 Adam All right. All right. I fly first class. And one of the best things about flying first class, if you're flying American, is that hot cup of nuts. Oh, the only thing better than a nut is a hot nut. I'll tell you what, that is awesome. And lately, and I just noticed it the last time I came back from New York, they started filling it out with soybeans. They basically took the whole bottom of this nut thing and they packed it with these horrible soybeans. And then they just put the nice nuts at the top.

1:29:58 Drew And they no longer have the big carafe. Yeah, that's fillet. What the hell's going on?

1:30:03 Adam Listen, here's the deal. First class ticket in New York is like 3,300 bucks. Coach, 285 bucks. Go ahead and give me my $2 worth of nuts, you cheap sons of bitches.

1:30:16 Dan Finnerty Or it's, you know, bring your own nuts. Just keep them in your pocket. They get warm.

1:30:19 Adam I'm not packing my own nuts for a $3,300 ticket that I didn't pay for, but I can still like outrage about it. No, I mean, that's the whole thing. The difference between first class and coach is like two grand. It's not twice as much. It's 10 times as much. I want my hot nuts. Oh, Drew.

1:30:37 Drew Yeah. Oh no, I'm not flying with you. The captain has to come out. Oh, yes. Oh, Mr. Corolla has a missy fit. Watch out, especially over nuts. Strangely enough.

1:30:47 Adam I made the captain actually came out on a Northwest flight once and I made him sift through my Fiesta mix and pull out the smoked almonds. Remember that, Drew?

1:30:57 Dan Finnerty See, that's another thing. Smoked almonds. You don't smoke things.

1:31:00 Caller Oh.

1:31:01 Adam Out of here, get out of here.

1:31:02 Caller Oh my God.

1:31:02 Adam Get me off. I don't want anyone watching that Bravo special. Tomorrow at 11 p.m. at Bravo, Steven Spielberg presents McGee Directs. Or Sunday night when they repeat the same excellent programming.

1:31:16 Dan Finnerty Yeah. All right. Drew, out.

1:31:18 Adam You don't like smoked almonds?

1:31:20 Dan Finnerty I don't like smoked anything. And the smoked walnut is just for good.

1:31:23 Drew Salmon? Smoked salmon?

1:31:24 Adam No, who wants some? How about some nice smoked brisket or something? Some beef, some smoked meat.

1:31:30 Drew Smoked barbecue, barbecue.

1:31:31 Dan Finnerty I don't know. I like the smoking.

1:31:33 Caller Where are you from?

1:31:34 Dan Finnerty Upstate New York.

1:31:35 Adam Well, wherever you're from, go back. And don't have any kids. I need a bunch of non-smoked almond, regular M&M eaten beasts running around this planet. I've got enough problem with you.

1:31:49 Drew Jeff 22, what's up?

1:31:51 Adam He sickens me. I'm not even going to look at Dan.

1:31:53 Dan Finnerty Oh, my finger.

1:31:54 Adam Don't talk to me. Talk to Drew through me.

1:31:58 Drew Jeff?

1:31:58 Adam I can't even hear you laugh.

1:32:00 Drew What's up, Jeff?

1:32:01 Adam Is he laughing, Drew?

1:32:02 Drew Yes, he's laughing.

1:32:06 Caller I got a problem. I can't. My endurance just sucks.

1:32:11 Drew Just a minute.

1:32:12 Caller I heard Drew was talking about something that was supposed to be coming out soon.

1:32:17 Drew Yeah, there is a medication coming out in about a year. It's within the year, I'd say probably. It's sort of an ultra short acting serotonin reuptake, actually a little different serotonin transport medication. It really will triple or quadruple your time. So I know if you're only a minute or two, you can go four minutes, five minutes, six minutes. That's a big change. And this medication looks very good and very safe. So, and this stuff, this problem you have is biological. It's not like, I mean, maybe after 10 years of intensive therapy, something will change. You can't afford that.

1:32:49 Adam You got a bad hand, Delta.

1:32:50 Drew Yeah, that's just how you're wired up.

1:32:52 Adam Nature or nurture.

1:32:54 Drew Whatever it is, you're wired up that way. And it takes quite a bit to undo it. And this medication looks very effective.

1:33:00 Adam Yeah.

1:33:01 Drew Okay. Awesome.

1:33:02 Adam All right, hold on.

1:33:03 Drew You'll keep your ears open for it. It'll be widely outed.

1:33:05 Adam What's Dan doing now? Is he looking at me?

1:33:07 Drew No, he's not talking. He's looking at you, though.

1:33:09 Adam Tell Dan I'd like to take his kids away and get them in some sort of nut rehab program.

1:33:15 Drew Dan, he appreciates you coming on the show tonight.

1:33:16 Dan Finnerty Oh, thanks.

1:33:17 Adam Tell him I want to reorient them and bring them toward the light instead of the dark.

1:33:23 Drew He said good luck on the show tomorrow night. You know, it would be a great success.

1:33:26 Dan Finnerty Right, thanks, man.

1:33:27 Drew He says you're really an a-hole.

1:33:29 Adam Make sure that's, is that what Dan's saying to me?

1:33:31 Drew Yes, yes.

1:33:32 Adam Make sure it's abundantly clear to Dan that...

1:33:35 Drew You only hear me.

1:33:37 Adam I shan't be going to the show Friday night because of this riff.

1:33:40 Dan Finnerty The one at Avalon?

1:33:41 Adam Yes.

1:33:42 Drew God, you are such a pain in the ass.

1:33:43 Dan Finnerty Wow.

1:33:44 Adam Formerly the palace.

1:33:45 Dan Finnerty You like fruitcake?

1:33:46 Adam Well, no, I don't.

1:33:47 Dan Finnerty Well, see, because there's fricking nuts in it. What just happened?

1:33:50 Drew What just happened?

1:33:51 Adam Listen, there's an exchange. I'm sorry. Let's take a break.

1:33:55 Drew All right.

1:33:55 Adam Well, Dan may or may not be back, depending on what it, you know. Look, if he tells me that his mother was killed by a blue diamond almond truck or something, I might give him a pass. But anything short of that, we'll take a break. We'll be back after this. All right, guys, here's the deal.

1:34:12 Drew Looking to hook up?

1:34:13 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:34:13 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:34:15 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:34:16 Drew One call is all you need to make.

1:34:18 Caller Call the Dateline. Date.

1:34:24 Caller If you need him.

1:34:26 Caller Call Loveline. The one and only, Live 105.

1:34:36 Adam Well, that's the show. I want to thank What's Is Notice for coming on.

1:34:40 Dan Finnerty Smoke walnut?

1:34:41 Adam Yeah. Dan, he's dead to me.

1:34:43 Dan Finnerty Shake it off.

1:34:44 Adam I now know him as the man who loathes nuts.

1:34:48 Dan Finnerty Come to my show this Friday at Avalon. Join my email list at thedamband.com.

1:34:52 Adam See everyone else, everyone else at the Avalon is going to be seeing a guy rocking out, singing chick songs. I'm going to be seeing a guy who hates smoked almonds up there. That's all I'm going to be seeing.

1:35:02 Drew It's going to be painful.

1:35:03 Adam That's all I see.

1:35:03 Drew I know. You know what I mean?

1:35:06 Dan Finnerty I don't like nuts in my bread. What are you going to do? Sorry.

1:35:11 Adam I put a fist in your face, man.

1:35:12 Dan Finnerty All right.

1:35:13 Drew How about banana nut bread?

1:35:15 Dan Finnerty Yeah.

1:35:15 Adam What about banana nut?

1:35:16 Dan Finnerty Poke the nuts out with my tongue.

1:35:17 Drew Oh my God.

1:35:20 Dan Finnerty Date nut bread.

1:35:20 Drew I have to leave.

1:35:21 Adam That's an attack.

1:35:22 Drew Disgusting.

1:35:22 Adam All right. Drew's disgusted.

1:35:24 Caller Carrot cake.

1:35:25 Adam I'm going to do carrot cake. I'm going to be big with you. I'm going Friday night. Bravo. Tomorrow night, 11 o'clock. And then again on Sunday night. And until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:35:38 Drew My nose hurts.

1:35:39 Adam What's wrong with your nose?

1:35:39 Drew I don't know. Something hurts right here.

1:35:40 Adam A little too much of the Tutski.

1:35:43 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:35:48 Adam The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, June 1, 2005