Episode 1000709170173

2:38 Yeah.

5:35 How could you? How could you?

5:39 We're going to need a written apology.

5:41 We need a written apology.

8:05 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

8:09 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

8:12 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

8:15 Adam Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised.

8:21 This is Loveline.

8:25 Adam With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

8:28 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam.

8:30 Adam That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight's guest, The Love, The Host.

8:41 Adam Fine. Between the two of them.

8:43 Drew It grows and builds and burgins.

8:45 Adam It burgins. It certainly does. I got some of that burgeon in my hamper.

8:50 Adam Oh, really?

8:51 I'll help you save some for me.

8:52 Adam It's like two socks stick together, that burgeoning.

8:54 Drew What were we talking about last night that was so funny?

8:56 Poopy.

8:57 Drew Was it poo? Poo talk again?

8:59 Adam Could have been poo talk.

9:01 Adam Probably poo talk.

9:01 Drew Oh, I know. It was Snot Shot.

9:03 Adam Snot Shot.

9:04 Drew That's right. We had to keep that in mind.

9:05 Adam Douche Nozzle.

9:06 Drew Douche Nozzle, yes.

9:07 Adam Yeah. Drew and I are... Why don't we open that up? Because we were talking about the snot rocket.

9:15 Drew Right.

9:16 Adam And by the way, the average male over the course of a lifetime pushes out something like 36,000 snot rockets. Average female, .2. It's not even a full snot rocket.

9:29 Drew Yeah, they don't seem to be into that in their range of behaviors.

9:31 Adam The snot rocket is something that females do not have in their vocabulary.

9:35 Adam Guys...

9:35 Drew I've always said, one of the most amazing experiences I had was when I walked into the early days of the Man Show and you had your little setup there by Stone Stanley and they had their own bathroom.

9:45 Adam Right.

9:45 Drew That man show was just getting going. And there's a latrine there, a stand up latrine, and two side by side in front of each, about 37 snot rockets right there, right in front, right where your eye hits the wall.

9:56 Adam I can only claim 33 of them.

9:58 I don't know where the other four came from.

9:59 Drew Wow. This is a bunch of guys.

10:01 Adam Yeah. And, you know, I would think I would think like Sir Walter Raleigh probably blew a snot rocket if he was jogging back in the day.

10:08 Sure.

10:10 Adam You know, all the all the great gentry of your I'm sure Einstein blew a snot rocket or two. Tony Randall, Don Juan, Don Juan probably blew a snot rocket. They all blew snot rockets.

10:24 Drew And let's but now let's we modified it. It's not rocket. We decided it was the all-inclusive term that needed to be modified.

10:30 Adam But yet we came up with something well, because all there was was snot rocket because it needed no need to think beyond that. The guys in the the boys in the band taking back Sunday pointed out farmers hanky. But I don't know, that could be a sleeve or something, you know. No. So Drew came out with snot shot.

10:49 Drew Yeah.

10:50 Adam Which is which is solid.

10:52 Drew My favorite thing about it is just just a slight shift of that little line.

10:56 Adam The N and the H. Yeah. And the alliteration. Yeah. Solid. Snot shot. I reiterated my douche nozzle insult. A lot of people call people douche bags. You never hear about the nozzle part. That's the business part.

11:10 Drew The working douche bag.

11:11 Adam Yeah, that's the part. That's the insulting part.

11:13 Drew Yeah.

11:14 Adam That's the part you want to stay away from.

11:15 Drew Right. The bag.

11:16 Adam So I call a guy a douche nozzle baggie. It's perfect, by the way, for, you know, it's great for the construction site. It's great for work. It's great for all applications. Sounds like sports.

11:28 Adam You douche nozzles.

11:29 Let's get back to work now.

11:31 Adam Quit effing the pooch.

11:33 See what I'm saying?

11:35 Adam Douche nozzles. And it's perfect for this sort of guy from Boston, Mass or maybe the New York long, the Queen's or the long douche nozzles. You can really just turn it and turn it in one long, crappy word. So we'd like to see people start using douche nozzle and snot shot perfect in place of the snot rocket. Although I got to say, snot rocket is solid.

11:58 Drew Yeah, yeah. You couldn't, it's surprised, I was surprised last night that I could come up with something even that measured up.

12:04 Adam What percentage of women age 35 have performed a snot rocket?

12:09 Drew Age 35, by the, by, in their life?

12:10 Adam By age 35, yeah.

12:13 Adam 1% formed a snot rocket. Yeah.

12:16 Drew And by the way, part of the story is not like a chew and something comes out.

12:19 It's purposeful.

12:20 Drew It's a purposeful movement. Yeah.

12:22 Adam Yeah.

12:23 Drew Yeah.

12:23 Adam You're producing.

12:25 Adam Right. Right. Yeah. No, it's volitional. You have to do it.

12:28 Adam You can't.

12:29 Drew It's driven.

12:30 Adam You can't laugh while you're eating or sneeze or something.

12:33 Adam Part of the way.

12:34 Adam Part of the reason women don't get the snot rocket going, I think, is they don't get enough cabasa sweat. You get that head sweat going. It really prompts a snot rocket. You feel your forehead start ripping and the brow start mopping up. They start wicking up the sweat. It's almost begging for a snot rocket. Women don't get that head sweat going, so that's enough snot rocket. Are you ready to rock?

12:56 Drew There you go. Yes, let's go.

12:58 Adam You know, the ultimate snot rockets are boxers. Oh, yeah. Boxers are a blast one. I mean, there's probably many a journalist, many photographers, been nailed, many a celebrity sitting ringsides, been blasted with a snot rocket.

13:13 Drew Well, let's go on to call. I'm gonna step out and just vomit here, okay?

13:15 Adam Okay.

13:16 Drew Okay.

13:17 Adam Jessica?

13:18 Guest Yeah.

13:18 Adam You're 18?

13:19 Guest Yeah.

13:20 Adam What's up?

13:22 Guest Oh, what's up? I have a question. Last week, like, around Friday or Thursday, me and my boyfriend had sex, and I started bleeding, but it wasn't, like, period blood, and I heard yesterday's question about anal, and of course how it could cause a tear, and I want to know because of the tear, or what's another reason it could be that I was bleeding.

13:43 Drew Just having sex can make you bleed. That's very common. Now, if you had torn, usually the tear occurs towards the backside there and it hurts.

13:51 Caller Yeah, it does hurt.

13:52 Guest It does hurt, though.

13:54 Drew Maybe tore something. It's possible. Were you having sex for a long time?

13:58 Guest Yeah, a lot. And when I do, it's, like, painful.

14:02 Adam All right.

14:04 Drew Take some sitz baths and give it a couple weeks' rest. Come on.

14:06 Adam Yeah, sitz bath. Explain the sitz bath.

14:09 Drew Hot water you sit in.

14:10 Adam Yeah, just four or five inches. Put anything in there?

14:14 Drew Nah.

14:14 A little salt, a little snot rock.

14:16 Guest I mean, I didn't know. I was wondering if it was, like, the size or I don't...

14:20 Drew It all is possible. But, Jessica, we're speculating about things. Who knows? You need a gynecologist to look in there and see what's going on.

14:26 Adam How's the guy's size?

14:27 I'm the big boy.

14:32 Guest And about the hole...

14:33 Adam All right, baby.

14:34 Adam Baby, hold on. What are you using for protection?

14:36 Adam A wet nap?

14:38 Guest We don't use any.

14:39 Drew Oh, shocking. I can't believe it.

14:41 Adam I can only hear that no protection voice.

14:44 Guest Yeah, we don't use any.

14:47 Adam Smart. What do you... Why? You're going to get pregnant?

14:51 Guest No, I don't know. We just... We've been together for a long time, so we don't really, like, worry about that stuff.

14:56 Drew All right. So the bleeding may be pregnancy.

14:58 Adam I'm convinced.

14:59 Drew The bleeding could be pregnancy, very likely. Or a tubal pregnancy. So it's something you need to get checked out immediately, okay?

15:05 Adam Immediately? Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, listen, Jessica...

15:08 Drew Maybe throw a sacrifice into the volcano guy. How...

15:13 Adam What do you think? I mean, what's going on? Here's what I want to know. Do you consider yourself stupid?

15:20 Guest No.

15:22 Adam No?

15:23 Guest No.

15:24 Adam Okay, so why are you doing things that would lead other people to believe you're stupid? You know, you're just having sex, constant, frequent sex...

15:33 Drew Unprotected.

15:33 Adam Unprotected, you're gonna get pregnant.

15:35 Drew Leads to pregnancy, that's where pregnancy has come from.

15:38 Guest Yeah, I know, but he doesn't really, like, you know, exactly, like, you know...

15:43 Adam Yeah, I know, he finishes on the comforter, like a gentleman, but that doesn't mean you can't get pregnant.

15:49 Guest Yeah, I know that.

15:51 Drew All right, so why are you doing that, then?

15:52 Adam What's going on? What are you doing? And here's all I'm saying.

15:55 Drew You probably are pregnant.

15:56 Adam The phone is f-ed up, so I'm putting her on hold. But here's the deal, everybody. Do you have, do you value your life? And I don't mean you care if you die. I just mean, do you value your life? It's not all about, you know, life and death or wanting to beat cancer or wanting to, you know, thwart a gunman. It's like, do you want a kid at 18 and a half? Do you want to live in poverty? Do you want to have to devote your life to another human? Well, you know, well, you're still essentially a child. Do you want to go to college? You want to travel? You want to see things?

16:28 Drew Forget all that.

16:29 Adam How much do you value your life?

16:31 Drew Right. Yeah, that's it.

16:33 Adam That's heavy.

16:34 Guest Jessica. I don't know, because like it's happened before. I mean, we've been having this for a long time.

16:39 Jessica, Jessica, stop.

16:40 Drew That is not an argument.

16:41 Adam Jessica, are you retarded? Your argument of we've had sex a whole bunch, therefore, without protection, therefore you can't get pregnant.

16:48 Drew That is retarded.

16:50 Adam Well, I'd go for it if you're 43.

16:52 Drew Yeah.

16:52 Adam You're 18, goofball.

16:54 Drew You're going to get pregnant, absolutely. Absolutely.

16:59 Adam Jessica, you going to junior college or you're thinking about it?

17:03 Guest So, so the whole point is I should just go get checked in about the whole bleeding situation?

17:07 Drew Yes. Because you're probably pregnant. That's probably what the bleeding is, yeah.

17:11 Guest But even though it's probably happened more than once.

17:12 Adam All right.

17:13 Drew Oh my God.

17:13 Adam Just go get checked, would you?

17:15 Drew It's all that magical thing. Well, if I talk my way out of it, then it's not going to be the case.

17:19 Adam Just go get checked and please get on some birth control, would you? And I don't know what your JO boyfriend is doing, but come on, buddy.

17:27 Drew Does he have other kids?

17:28 I wonder.

17:30 Adam I don't know.

17:31 Adam Listen, everybody, just don't get pregnant at 18.

17:34 Adam Why?

17:35 Adam Why? Or at least want to get pregnant at 18.

17:39 Drew Don't do it with some crazy magical thinking.

17:42 Adam Yes, participate in your life. That's what I'm asking you to do. Go ahead, be a participant. Drew seems to care more about what's coming out of you than you. That's what I'm saying.

17:53 Adam Sarah, you're 23?

17:56 Caller Yes, I am.

17:57 Adam What's up?

18:00 Caller Basically, my sex drive has gone really down, really low.

18:06 Drew Are you depressed? You sound depressed.

18:08 Adam I'm going to kill myself. Yeah.

18:14 Caller All right.

18:16 Adam The phone lines are so effed up tonight. It's only here every third word that comes out of everyone's mouth.

18:21 Drew Really bad. Chris, seriously.

18:23 Adam She just sucked on the ether rag.

18:25 Drew Then we heard nothing.

18:27 Adam Yeah. All right.

18:29 Adam Boyfriend's in jail.

18:30 Drew No, let's try again with Sarah.

18:32 Adam Really?

18:32 Drew Just try to put it to rest.

18:33 Adam Well, I don't want to talk to her.

18:35 Drew Then talk to Jeremy.

18:37 Adam Jeremy? All right. Sarah, you hang on. Jeremy?

18:41 Yeah.

18:42 Adam What's up? 27.

18:44 Hey, Adam and Drew.

18:48 Drew Oh. No way. That was hysterical.

18:52 Adam It wasn't me either.

18:54 Drew That was at his hand.

18:55 Adam This is his hand?

18:56 Drew Yes.

18:56 Adam How did he do that?

18:57 Drew It just hung up the phone.

18:59 No, that was me.

19:00 Oh.

19:01 Caller We got a technical issue at this end, and I tried to fix it, and doing so hung up on him.

19:06 Adam All right.

19:06 Drew Well, very nice. Let's try Sarah again. Real quick. Line one.

19:09 Adam Yeah, I knew that wasn't him.

19:11 Adam Hold on.

19:12 Adam No, I don't want to talk to Sarah. Chris?

19:15 Yeah.

19:16 Adam You're 20?

19:17 Caller Yeah.

19:18 Adam What's up?

19:19 Yeah, I got a question for you, man. Oh, by the way, man, I love your show, man. Your show is awesome, dude.

19:24 Adam Thanks, Chris.

19:26 Caller Hey, I got a question, man. My penis, it curves to the left. I was wanting to know if that was a problem.

19:36 Drew You're dressed to the left? Do you notice that when you're in your tuxedo or?

19:42 Adam Yeah.

19:42 Caller All right.

19:42 Adam Well, how about having sex? Does it work?

19:46 Caller I'm a virgin.

19:49 Adam I like the cut of your jib, son. Keep talking. Have you ever had any oral sex? No. I'll tell you one of the things I like about a curved penis is, you know, when you're screwing with someone and you give them that BJ thing where you make a fist. Don't do it to Chris.

20:07 Drew Yeah, thank you.

20:07 Adam Where you make a fist.

20:08 Drew You put your tongue in your cheek.

20:09 Caller And you put your tongue in your cheek and you go, ooh.

20:11 Drew That'd be Chris.

20:12 Adam If you're curved, you really actually can achieve that effect. Yeah.

20:17 Drew Nice.

20:18 Adam You know, you see where.

20:19 Drew I got the picture.

20:20 Adam I don't see where my penis ends up.

20:22 Drew Yours gets past the lips and that's about it, see?

20:25 Adam I think I get past. I get to the middle part of the tooth.

20:27 Drew Oh, good.

20:28 Adam The tooth is about, it's a 30 second thing. I get about the middle section.

20:33 Drew That's good.

20:33 Adam I get about six fourth. I don't think I get actually back past that.

20:37 Caller Right on.

20:38 Drew All right, Chris. Yeah. Curvature is not a big deal as long as it doesn't have caused difficulty having an erection or cause your partner pain, which is another issue. But usually some curve, it's one way or another. That's why would tailors ask you to which side you dress?

20:54 Adam They do not.

20:55 Drew They do. Oh, yes.

20:55 Adam They used to. They don't ask you that anymore. I've been to the tailor. No one asked them. What side you wear your dork on? Yours. Well, for you, it's an issue.

21:04 Drew That's what I'm talking about.

21:06 Adam For me, you know, I'm just I just straddle. You know what I mean?

21:10 Drew Yeah. Well, I guess that's why they don't ask. Yeah.

21:12 Adam I don't ask. But you, Drew, it's an issue. Let's see. Chris. Oh, is he on? No, he's on.

21:18 Drew It can't be fixed. There's there's surges for it, but the surgery is shortening it.

21:22 Adam Why are you a virgin?

21:24 Caller Well, quite frankly, man, I'm a good looking guy, you know, but for some reason, man, I just have like if if I ask a girl to be my girlfriend, I mean, I dated a whole bunch of girls, but man, like on the fourth date or whatever, I'd ask them to be my girlfriend. They just, they kind of make it.

21:48 All right, I get the point.

21:49 Drew What the hell was that?

21:50 What is that?

21:51 Drew What was the point?

22:00 Drew Bogus?

22:01 Caller No.

22:02 Drew I didn't understand what he was saying.

22:04 Adam You don't understand. He's doing the vowels.

22:11 Caller These Arkansas vowels.

22:12 Drew Witch doctor.

22:19 Caller You gotta ask him where he takes these people on dates.

22:24 Adam Chris, where are you taking everyone on a date?

22:27 Caller Do what?

22:27 Adam Where do you take these gals on the dates?

22:30 Caller Well, I take them to the movies. I take them bowling. Oh, I go to their house.

22:35 Adam We go to their house.

22:36 Drew Nice. And what happens on the fourth date?

22:39 Caller Eh, eh, eh, ah, eh, eh.

22:43 Drew Chris? Yeah. What happens on the fourth date?

22:48 Caller Well, we laugh, you know, I mean, we hang out and everything like that. You know, we kiss and everything like that. Yeah, that everything's all cool. But whenever I ask, you know, then they just kind of turn it away. I don't know if maybe they're scared, you know, they don't want to be with anybody or what.

23:05 Adam Here's the thing, Chris.

23:06 Drew I understood about as much about that statement as the vowels.

23:13 Adam Here's the thing. Women, 20 year old women are, man, they're, okay. Let me say this, Drew.

23:20 Drew Okay, here we go.

23:21 Adam Let's talk. Can we talk? Everybody talks about women, how they want to be treated, what women want, what women like. They are talking about 35 year old married women when they talk about show her affection, give her flowers, make her feel precious and pretty. Tell her, yeah, that's all the crap the wife wants you to do in year number nine of marriage. 19 year old chicks, totally different animal. People need to know there's a set of rules for dealing. It's like this. There's a set of rules. You write a book to deal with adolescents or you'd have one to deal with adult psychology. It's not, yes, they're both human beings. It's a different person. You must be approached totally differently. And they don't do this with women. Women at 17, 18, 19, completely different beings than they are at 33, 35, okay? So, 19 year old chicks, when you start spilling your guts to them, that's a turn off, that's a deal breaker, that freaks them out. You find yourself a 33 year old chick who's divorced twice and has three kids, you start laying it out to her, you begin to receive oral halfway into that speech and that's with the kids in the car. Oh yes.

24:38 Caller Oh, Drew, I was one of those kids, okay.

24:42 Adam I'm sorry. The point, no, no, don't apologize. I learned some valuable techniques. The point is, do not treat the 18 year old chicks like that. I'm sorry to say, but you, saying how much fun you've had over the last three dates and how serious you are about them and how much you think about them and all that, does not work. You can't freak them. You have to play it cool. I'm not saying you have to BS completely, just know the rules of the game and play it that way.

25:10 Drew You're right. Good point.

25:11 Adam And I don't know, what do you do on that fourth date? Do you leave him hangin a little bit, you know? I mean, it's really...

25:20 Drew Well, the problem is Chris is the nice guy.

25:22 He's the nice guy.

25:23 Adam So, you know...

25:24 Drew He's already in trouble. Yeah. But the fact that he had four dates means that there could be something coming. But the last thing they want is any sense of, I don't know, what do you want to do?

25:32 Adam Yeah, and a little desperate, clingy, grimy.

25:35 Drew And this is not about a curved penis. No. Not. He's trying to make the case.

25:42 Adam No. This is about.

25:43 Drew Oh, yes, he is.

25:43 Adam No. Yeah, I know. But this is not about a curved penis. It's about asymmetry in the sac.

25:49 Drew You mean scrotum?

25:50 Caller Scrotal, scrotal symmetry.

25:53 Adam Coley?

25:54 Caller Yes. I am, gentlemen. Dr. Drew, Adam, love you guys. Adam, I had a question. You touched on attack crows. I wanted to know, as president, how would you use them? Would you use them for offense or defense? Who would have them? Would you diff them out to celebrities or would you stick them on certain people?

26:14 Drew All of the above.

26:15 Adam Well, here's what I've been saying for many years. And by the way, my ideas come to fruition. There's no doubt about it. I used to talk about the dogs that sniffed for cancer and a sniff for venereal disease.

26:28 Drew Then pow.

26:29 Adam Pow. Those days are here. There's many, many things. I've invented the condom loader.

26:34 Drew Even the word pow.

26:35 Adam Even the word pow didn't exist before me.

26:37 Drew We found out it meant something like, there you go in Chattanooga.

26:41 Adam But here's my point. The attack crows. How do these work? OK, crows are super smart and they're super mean. One thing people don't know about birds is they're mean. People think birds are your buddy. Birds are like flying dinosaurs that hate you. They have a brain the size of your fingernail and all they want you for is food. And you don't believe me? Get yourself a pet bird. Feed it, love it, clean it, take care of it for nine years and then reach into its cage and see if it doesn't try to bite your thumb off. That's how birds are. They make tons of noise. They're stupid and they're primitive. And all they want to do is f with people. They love it. I mean, if you ever had a cat that went out and screwed with a blue jay's nest or something like that, he'll be dive bombed for the rest of his kiddie career. Crows are crafty and they're mean.

27:28 Drew Smart.

27:29 Adam And they're smart. And I see them sitting up on the trees. First off, they're black. That's a good, scary color. And they're loud. And all they are is feathers and talons and beaks. And they come flying at everybody. And here's all I'm saying. You could train them to be your posse. You could train them to be your security crew. You could train them. Police forces could use them. So here's how it works. There's some scenario where some crazy gunman is waving, or guy's got a gun or a knife and he's waving around. You don't want to send the police dog in. And the police dog, by the way, the guy can kind of deal with sending the attack crows. Eight, 12 crows, flying, wings flying everywhere, coming down, dive bomb. And the guy said, no choice but to drop your weapon and just run flailing. Nothing you could do. And here's the deal too. Send in a couple of attack crows. So what? The guy takes a shotgun and takes three of them out.

28:21 Caller Nobody cares.

28:22 Adam I wanted them dead in the first place. Easy to train, smart, mobile. And you know how they fly, Drew?

28:29 Caller How?

28:30 Adam As they fly?

28:31 Drew As the crow flies.

28:32 Adam As the crow flies.

28:32 Drew Wow.

28:33 Adam Here's what it is. You get it.

28:35 Drew So they'll get one place to the next.

28:37 Adam As the crow flies. So be right there. They just land on the parapet of the building and they just hang out. Now you get personal security crows. They just fly with you. They recognize your car. Maybe put a little piece of rainbow tape on the roof of your car. Something reflective. You know, they like shiny stuff. Sure. Train them a little bit. They follow your car around. If you live in a town like Los Angeles or Manhattan, they just follow you around. You go into the building for a little business, they just land. They just wait there on the stoop and then you come out and they're flying again. Anyone else with you?

29:08 Drew They're waiting up there making that weird noise.

29:10 Caller Yeah, that weird clucking noise.

29:14 Adam And then, you're going down the street, some guy tries to carjack you or shake you down or something, or maybe it's just a, it's an old business manager you don't want to deal with or something. They just come sailing down on them and they're screaming and they're calling and it's just claws and beaks and black feathers everywhere.

29:30 Drew One day it'll be, Corolla, is that your crow?

29:32 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, this would work.

29:36 Adam And everybody should have, the president should have attack crows. All police forces should have attack crows. And anytime there's a hostage situation or barricade situation, send in the crows. Yes?

29:46 Drew Yes.

29:47 Adam Coley, what do you think?

29:49 Caller Could you do the same thing with bees, though?

29:52 Adam No.

29:52 Drew No, bees aren't, crows are smart.

29:55 Adam Crows are smart and crows are mean.

29:58 Drew Bees are sort of neutral.

29:59 Adam Like, if you said to a crow, listen, yeah, you see that black guy over there holding the knife? We need you to be like, done and done.

30:08 Adam They love it.

30:09 Adam They love to jump on people's heads. They love to screw with people. And not that there's not white criminals either. That's not what I'm saying. It's just in this scenario.

30:18 Drew The one you just saw.

30:18 Adam The one I just saw. I'm gonna be a black guy holding the knife. There's a white guy holding the knife too. We'll get him later. The point is, is crows love, they hate people. I really, I really, really hate them. I see them, they're buzzing around my neighborhood. They don't even like other birds.

30:33 Drew Oh, I know that. I know the birds don't like them. I see those mockingbirds going after them all the time.

30:37 Adam Birds are hateful creatures. Nobody knows how hateful birds are.

30:41 Drew All right, real quickly. Ernie, 28.

30:43 Caller Yeah.

30:44 Adam What's happening?

30:46 Caller Not much, guys.

30:46 Caller What's going on?

30:48 Adam What's going on, Ernie?

30:48 Drew You gotta go to break, Ernie. What's going on?

30:50 Caller Just a quick comment. When I go to the tailor to get my suit fitted, he asked me what side that I hang on.

30:58 Drew Really?

30:58 Caller Yeah. The reason why they do that is because I hang on the left that they'll compensate for it so it doesn't look like I got a bulge on the left-hand side. You know what I mean? So I guess he moves the seam over or the way he tailors it. Tailors it just a little bit.

31:15 Drew You mean they don't just ask it for their own amusement? They actually have a purpose?

31:19 Adam I see. This doesn't want to know what size your penis is. Otherwise, I guess when you want to get a break job, they would ask you where your penis was. Just whatever it is. Yeah, I want to get on my library card.

31:29 Caller Yeah, what side do you dress there?

31:32 Adam I'd like to check out a ball to play with in the park. What side do you dress in?

31:35 Drew Sorry, no lefts here.

31:36 Adam Sorry, sorry.

31:38 Adam We understand there's motivation for it. See, I tuck mine. I tuck mine between my stuff. Yeah, so I can do the fruit ball. Fruit ball. All right, so here's the thing, everybody. I've been to the tailor, I think, twice in my life. He didn't ask me how I dressed. Maybe good, okay. Maybe good tailor, maybe a good tailor can spot how a man is dressed.

32:00 Drew The first time I was asked, I was like, what?

32:03 Adam Do you know?

32:04 Drew And immediately I put it, I went through a little sort of a Do you know? Terminator-like, yeah, yeah, left. Terminator-like scenario in my head, like does not compute, what's he talking about? Then I just thought, oh my God.

32:16 Adam He just said, how do you dress?

32:17 Drew Which side, sir, do you dress?

32:19 Adam Oh, really?

32:20 Adam Do most guys know? Chris, do you know what side of your pants you wear your junk?

32:26 Drew No, and I've never been asked.

32:27 Adam I know, but you gotta go to a tailor. You go to the huge shop, like the baby Gap.

32:33 Caller Come on, buddy.

32:34 Caller Yeah, they don't ask me there, I don't know.

32:35 Adam No, they don't ask at the Mervin's Outlet Store.

32:38 Caller They don't ask you about that.

32:39 Caller Okay, I'm smart.

32:40 Caller All right, all right, buddy, sorry.

32:41 Adam That was an attack. I was attacking because I've never been asked. And I've been to the tailor. All right, let's take a break, Drew.

32:48 Drew All right, here we go.

32:48 Adam When we come back.

32:50 Drew Let's try Sarah again.

32:50 Adam We'll try Sarah again. Sarah, hang tight, baby. We'll be back after this. Yeah! That's what I'm talking about.

33:15 Adam Loveline, y'all.

33:16 Adam I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. You know, Drew, it's not like me to complain, but let me say this.

33:21 Drew No, no, not like you at all. Oh, my goodness.

33:23 Adam As I was looking out my window today during a driving rainstorm out here in Southern California, and I noticed all the sprinklers going off on the hillside in front of me. Not going to do one, even though all we ever hear is we live in a desert, and it's a drought, and you got to conserve water. They just have that, have those sprinklers going full bore, rain or shine. And since it's been very evident lately because there's been so much rain. And I think to myself, well, the city just technologically is not up to the challenge. And then I think to myself, wait a minute. Remember those intersections they have where they have 15 cameras set up with huge strobe lights. And if your car breaks an invisible laser beam, a hummingbird's fart after the signal turns yellow, they hit your car from about nine angles. And two weeks later, you get a picture of yourself behind the wheel, close up of your license plate, close up of the VIN number of your car, and the time and the date and the intersection. That seems like a fairly tall order from a technological standpoint, wouldn't you say?

35:00 Drew Endless energy for the tickets.

35:02 Adam Endless energy for raping the populace. No problem at all.

35:07 Drew Conservation zero.

35:09 Adam Conservation zero and wasting our money because we're paying for the water that they're spraying all over the field that's already dying because it's been soaked torrentially over the last three months. No problem there. It's all about raising money, nothing about saving it. And that's all you need to know, everybody. There you go. There's nothing we do more efficiently in this godforsaken city than traffic stuff. All that. That, no problem. Your bumper hanging three inches onto a red curb, you'll get a ticket. You won't be able to run inside of the dry cleaners, grab your crap and run out without having a ticket. You want to get the department of a DWP over the house or you want to, that's two weeks, that's an appointment and that's a window between, that's a nine-hour window. Think about that. Think about what motivation is even for the city. City, man, when it comes to raping, when it comes to raping their populace and taking the money out of their pocket, they're right on top of that game.

36:06 Drew It seems to be true of any city.

36:08 Adam All cities.

36:08 Drew You thought it was just Rape Bank.

36:10 Adam Very, no, it's not just Burbank or as we know it, Rape Bank. They're not just the only, I mean, they perfected shaking down and raping their citizens.

36:17 Drew They're unabashed.

36:18 Caller Unabashed about it, yeah.

36:20 Adam It's a full-time job over there. Other cities get involved with other parts of crime prevention, stuff like that, but they're just all about jaywalking. But the point is, is they have endless resources and endless technology and endless motivation for stuff like this, stuff that raises revenue and they become caveman retards when it comes to water conservation. And by the way, they run PSAs telling you to conserve water. What are you supposed to do? I'm watching the sprinklers go off.

36:47 Drew That's what they spend on those too.

36:50 Adam Yeah. I want you to sprinklers go off and torrential downpours. Yeah. Kiss my ass. Oh, what are we going to do, Drew? I got to run for something. I got to straighten everybody out.

36:59 Drew Yeah, political career ahead for you.

37:01 Adam Sarah.

37:02 Caller Yes.

37:03 Adam 23. Oh, yes. You. What's up?

37:07 Caller My sex drive has gone down quite a bit and I'm having trouble also having orgasm.

37:15 Drew Are you a Mormon?

37:17 Caller Yes, I am.

37:19 Drew Are you on medication?

37:21 Caller I am on Premarin.

37:23 Drew That's it. No antidepressants? What are you on Premarin for?

37:29 Adam Is that pregnant mare urine?

37:31 Caller Yeah.

37:33 Adam Really?

37:33 Drew That's where it came from.

37:35 Adam Let me just say something. If you're going to make a medicine out of a pregnant horse urine.

37:42 Caller Premarin.

37:44 Adam How about you just call it prolexical? I would just call it good enough and stuff. Do you have to say what it's made out of? Pregnant horse urine?

37:58 Drew Premarin.

37:59 Adam Pregnant mare urine?

38:01 Drew Premarin. There you go. Why? Tie it all together.

38:04 Adam I know, but don't do it.

38:05 Drew Hey, listen. All the drug names are made up.

38:08 Caller This one has horse tinkle.

38:10 Drew I'm just saying. There's no random reason to why they make up the drug names they make up. They just test them and they go up. People like this one. Let's go.

38:17 Adam Call it Pixie Dust or something.

38:19 Drew Literally, some guy probably sat there and made up 50 names, tested them, and that's the one that came out.

38:24 Adam But this one isn't that made up. This is pregnant mare urine.

38:26 Drew I'm just saying, if you were the guy making stuff up, you'd go, let's try this.

38:30 Adam I know. You're eating horse wee-wee, Sarah.

38:35 Drew Anyway, why are you taking Premarin? You're a young woman. That's for postmenopausal women. What's going on?

38:40 Caller Well, they checked my prolactin, my doctor did, and my prolactin was pretty high.

38:47 Drew How high?

38:47 Caller And they also...

38:49 Drew How high was your prolactin?

38:51 Caller I think, isn't normal, like 20?

38:55 Drew Yeah.

38:56 Caller I think mine was like a 35.

38:59 Drew Well, that can be from taking opiates or medication or lots of different things.

39:04 Adam She's Mormon. She doesn't take opiates.

39:06 Drew Thyroid conditions.

39:07 Caller And then they checked my hormones, too. And my hormones were really off, really, really off.

39:15 Drew What does that mean?

39:15 What was off?

39:17 Caller Like, they're not what they should be.

39:20 Drew Did you have an MRI of your brain?

39:23 Caller I went to go get an MRI, but I was allergic to the dye.

39:26 Drew How about getting one without the dye?

39:29 Caller I got one without the dye and it came out normal.

39:32 Drew So this is not a prolactin secreting tumor, they think.

39:35 Adam Did they put dye in your brain?

39:36 Drew No, in your blood.

39:37 Caller No, they inject it into you.

39:39 Drew Yeah, so they don't think this is a prolactin secreting tumor, because prolactin secreting tumors can turn off your sex drive, too. Very commonly in men, it really shuts down testosterone. But that's prolactins in the thousands, usually.

39:51 Adam All right.

39:51 Drew You know, 30 is sort of...

39:53 Adam Well, how are you getting along with your husband?

39:56 Caller Pretty good. I mean, well, it's not necessarily my husband. I mean, I've never been able to have orgasms while having sex. And I'm sure that has a lot to do with being sexually abused, but I can't get one at all.

40:11 Drew Just being depressed, you can have a higher prolactin level.

40:13 Adam Oh, really?

40:13 Drew Yeah. So there you go. All right.

40:16 Adam How about a little therapy for the abuse?

40:20 Caller I could do that, but this just barely started to occur. I'm saying like I can't even get myself an orgasm.

40:26 Adam Oh, you just start, they just start up the sexual abuse?

40:29 Caller No, no, no. The orgasms just barely started not being able to happen.

40:35 Adam Oh, okay. So you could have an orgasm with intercourse before?

40:39 Caller Not with intercourse before, with masturbating.

40:42 Adam Oh, okay. Sarah, do you have kids?

40:45 Caller I do.

40:46 Adam All right.

40:46 Drew On their behalf.

40:47 Adam On behalf of them, they need a mommy that's intact emotionally.

40:51 Caller You got to get some help.

40:53 Adam You were abused. Yeah. Okay. Well.

40:58 Drew And you're getting depressed now, too. Yeah. This is what's called psychomotor retardation, is like cognitive delays.

41:03 Adam Right. Okay. Here's the thing, everybody. I had a depressed mom. It's horrible. Depression freaks kids out. You're better off just having a parent with polio who's in a good mood. A thousand times better. I know it sounds melodramatic, but depressed parents freaks kids out. You feel like you're left alone. It's a bummer. It's weird. They lock themselves up in their rooms. They're always freaked out all the time. It's horrible.

41:31 Drew You feel responsible. You feel out of control.

41:34 Adam I swear to Christ, better to have a parent with just a thousand other afflictions. So you are abusing your kid. And I know it sounds like-

41:42 Drew Inadvertently. Inadvertently.

41:43 Adam Inadvertently, yes.

41:44 Drew But it is abusive, yeah.

41:46 Adam I'm telling you, Drew, would you rather have, if you had to grow up again, would you rather have a, you know, sort of perpetually depressed parent, mother, whoever, or one that gave you a good smacking down once a month?

42:00 Drew I guess the smack, yeah.

42:02 Adam You take the smack. Yeah. At least there's some good times.

42:05 Drew Right. In between you can recover, maybe.

42:07 Caller Yeah.

42:08 Drew With the depressed mom, you never get to restore.

42:11 Adam Everything's weird, everything's sad, and it's like, don't even try.

42:14 Drew All right.

42:14 Adam So you're depressed, you're gonna freak your kids out. Go get some help. You're abused. All right, where are we going? You're over here?

42:20 Drew You're taking Premarin. You should be seeing an endocrinologist. A primary care person should not be putting a 23-year-old on Premarin.

42:28 Adam How do they figure out the pregnant Mary urine? What's that do? What's it got? Hormones in it?

42:32 Drew Yeah, estrogen.

42:33 Adam Got estrogen in it? The whiz has estrogen. They whiz out estrogen?

42:37 Drew Condigated estrogens, yeah.

42:39 Adam What about pregnant women? They whiz out estrogen?

42:42 Drew I think so, yeah.

42:42 Adam We should get a sieve in the toilet.

42:44 Drew Sure.

42:45 Adam Collect that estrogen.

42:45 Drew What are you gonna do with it?

42:48 Adam None of your beeswax, but believe you me, just like my tacros, I got plans. All right?

42:53 Drew That's what I'm saying, all right.

42:55 Adam Maybe I'll have my tacros drop estrogen on these thugs that are holding people at knife point. All of a sudden, they start producing breast milk. They get soft. They start crying. They want to see Oprah. You know what I mean? My wife forced me to watch The Dog Whisperer on Oprah tonight. He is just a gayer in old Paris, and he's like, your dog, he's not a human. You cannot. It's like, are you kidding? Who buys this crap? Oprah's up there with her dog. If Oprah could spring a penis and F herself, she would die a happy woman. And it's like Oprah just bathes in herself on it, just bathes, she just basks in her own glory. She just sits there and it's like, tonight, an hour on my dog. And then she films herself doing really boring stuff that her stooge audience just, just erupts at, you know? And she talks about how she is, and she attempts to be funny most all the time and is rarely witty at all. Her eye, she's sort of, she's created this, this Emperor's New Clothes thing because her audience of just seals just erupts every time she says anything in a certain pitch. It doesn't even have to be funny. She just raise her voice. Hey, everyone, this is the joke cadence. This is the joke sound. I'm going to raise my voice up so you guys, that's your cue to laugh. She just indulges herself with these sort of whimsical stuff. She's got some poodle and she wants everyone to know it and she wants in at the dog, but she's just like all of us because the dog thinks she's the princess of the house. And then so some fairy comes around and whispers at the dog and tells you a bunch of crap you already know. And that's about it.

44:42 Drew Did you abuse your wife?

44:44 Adam I beat the crap out of her.

44:45 Drew Did she have to listen to you for an hour?

44:47 Adam What are you doing? The woman has a magazine, it's been five years, there's been 60 issues of this magazine. She's been on every single cover. She's not been on 58 covers of the 60s, she's been on 60 of 60s. She's on her cover of her magazine every single month. She just sits there and basks in herself. She just rolls in her own stink. And you guys just lap it up. If there was a male version of this, and maybe there is, maybe it's Dr. Phil, it's like, hey, blow hard, pack up your fat bald ass and get the F off the TV. No guy wants to see Dr. Phil. Guys see Dr. Phil and they're like, oh, what a blow hard. Chicks watch him. Somehow chicks love it when you just roll in your own ass.

45:39 Drew What is that?

45:40 Adam I don't know, but guys, if you want to get in some pants, you want to get the pants of chicks when you're 21, or they're 21 and you're whatever, just walk around and roll in your own stink. Don't try to be nice. Don't try to, oh, where do you want to go to dinner? No, no.

45:56 Drew Oh, I'm not that.

45:57 Adam You act like Oprah. You tell them whatever you're doing is the most interesting thing there could be. You're the smartest person on the planet and you know exactly where to eat and they all just buy into it. The more you love yourself, the more they love you. That's what it is. Chicks have that gene. They see Oprah in there just an hour of her sitting on the sofa trying to smell her own farts. And they're like, oh, my God, I love this person. Guys see it and it's like, sweetie, get a hold of yourself. You're not that great. You got a big ass. You're not nearly as funny as you think you are. And everything you seem to do just seems to come right back to you. I mean, everything, every charity, everything you launch, everything, it's just so you can put your name on the front of it. Guys don't buy into that crap. I see Dr. Phil and Oprah and we get sort of I get like my skin calls a little like I don't want to watch someone doing the crap for an hour. You just see it and they just get in line. Well, they're like Piper's.

46:52 Adam Drew, what happened?

46:53 Drew I don't know. I'd go on it again.

46:56 Adam Benedict Arnold.

46:58 Drew No, no.

46:58 Adam Benedict Arnold. Chris, you know Benedict Arnold is? No. Benedict Arnold.

47:04 Drew Jessica Bay? No. All right. No, I agree with you. She, when I did, she was sort of going through the motions though.

47:11 Adam I ain't saying she's not good, but she just sits up there like-

47:16 Drew Well, I'll tell you what happened to me is that I started talking and, oh no, no, we'll have none of that. Then she hung me out to dry. We'd get a subject to say something. She'd go, well, what do you think? To get back like that, like, all right, smart guy, go ahead. I went, all right, well, here I go.

47:31 Caller Yeah.

47:31 Drew But in the meantime, you're sort of hung out to dry.

47:34 Caller Yeah.

47:36 Adam Here's all I'm saying. Oprah, first off, thinks she's about a thousand times funnier than she is, or let's forget about funny, wittier, or even more interesting than she is. I've seen her show. It's like I've never written down anything she said or thought, wow, that's provocative. That's interesting. I never thought of that. Number one. Number two, she's not a model. She's on the cover of everything. She comes out with a magazine, puts her name on it, and every single issue is devoted to her. Women buy into that. If there was a dude version of that, we would give them one of those prison cot beatings with the pillowcase.

48:15 Drew Yes.

48:16 Adam Why do women dig that? But let me tell you something, guys, at least understand what you're dealing with. If you're heterosexual and get up on that stage and love yourself, dress to the left and parade that basket out and love yourself. Yeah.

48:31 Drew It's a little bit of that bad guy stuff that they like so much.

48:33 Adam Younger males obsessed, obsessed with yourself.

48:36 Drew They love it as one of my patients at once. It's a I'm not much, but I'm all I ever think about.

48:42 Adam That's right.

48:43 Caller Well, chicks love that.

48:44 Adam All right, let's take a break. We'll be right back after this.

49:06 Adam Yeah!

49:08 Adam Grim Reaper.

49:10 Caller Phone calls.

49:11 Adam Hanging up on everyone tonight. Come on, buddy. Drew, what's the matter with you? You're a little angry.

49:17 Drew I could be.

49:18 Adam Attacking everybody all the time. Come on, buddy.

49:21 Drew Could be.

49:21 Adam This TV stuff has really gotten to you.

49:24 Adam Josh?

49:25 Caller Yes, sir.

49:26 Adam 25?

49:28 Caller Yes, sir.

49:29 Adam What's happening?

49:30 Caller Oh, you know, a whole bunch of nothing.

49:33 Adam Yeah.

49:34 Caller But, um, how you gentlemen do it?

49:37 Adam Just do it! All right, all right. See, Drew, see what happens. We could have talked to Angel. Her boyfriend's in prison. Go ahead, Josh. Here we go now, buddy.

49:44 Caller All right. So, yeah, I had a question about, uh, uh-oh, I don't want to say the wrong thing because last time I got halfway through my story and I got cut because I, uh, you know, there you go.

49:56 Caller All right, there you go.

49:57 Adam Natalie.

49:59 Caller Hi, yes. I had a question.

50:01 Caller Yeah.

50:02 Caller Um, my boyfriend's mother's been doing cocaine for 14 years and we recently found out-

50:06 Adam Boyfriend's mom?

50:08 Drew Yeah. You just found out? They had no idea? 14 years of cocaine, no idea?

50:13 Caller They hid it from him because his parents got a divorce and we found out the reason why they got a divorce was because of the cocaine usage. And she would always go away while she's been recently doing it inside the house and basically underneath his nose. And I want to know how we could do an intervention because she's actually been to the hospital and died before and they brought her back and she still won't admit she's doing it.

50:35 Drew Has she been treated for addiction before?

50:37 Caller No.

50:38 Drew Never been treated?

50:39 Caller Uh-uh.

50:41 Adam Is, so she's actually doing the coke in the house, she's not doing it out on the roof? Yeah, I used to do blow on the roof but you know, when it gets windy.

50:50 Drew What are you gonna do?

50:50 Adam Exactly. She'll go right into the neighbor's yard.

50:52 Drew Are you, is she smoking the cocaine or snorting it?

50:56 Caller She started out snorting it and now she's smoking it.

50:59 Drew She's smoking it in the house?

51:00 Adam Bad times. And your boyfriend is how old and living at home?

51:06 Caller He's 22.

51:07 Adam Dude, it's time for him to get out of the house, number one.

51:11 Caller He's actually signing an apartment.

51:13 Drew Does she have resources to get treatment?

51:17 Caller Well, she's on disability because she's had back problems and that's why she started doing it.

51:21 Adam Oh, no. She's just an addict.

51:23 Drew Yeah, she's a drug addict. Is she taking opiates, too, in addition to cocaine?

51:27 Caller Not as far as I know.

51:29 Drew All right. So she does not have any insurance? Yeah, it's going to be hard to get her treatment. You're going to have to find some sort of county-funded bed. You have to find a treatment center near you. Most of them will have interventionists that they work with. If she's interested in treatment, you can kind of send a balloon up and ask her if she's ever interested in getting some help for what she's doing. Maybe she'll say, yes, let's go. I'm ready to go now and find a place to take her. You know, call local psychiatric hospitals and see what their profiles are for addiction medicine treatment.

51:55 Adam That's a good city to get strung out in without insurance, Drew, because I'm thinking we'll raise a family there.

52:01 Drew We're going to start out?

52:02 Adam I don't know, just different states run it. If I have a couple of kids, there's a good chance one of them will be a junkie.

52:07 Drew Different states and different counties run it differently. California is awful.

52:10 Adam It's awful. Why is everything so bad in California? What's good in California?

52:16 Drew The ocean.

52:18 Adam I know, but what's good that the government does?

52:20 Caller No.

52:21 Adam Here's the point. Is New York better than California?

52:24 Drew I believe it is.

52:25 Adam Is Michigan better than New York? I've heard of it. What is a good place? A bay area?

52:30 Drew No, it's California.

52:31 Adam Well, I know it's California, but they have local.

52:33 Drew There are places that have county-funded treatments and state-funded treatments, and some places take the equivalent of Medi-Cal here as Medicaid, and they'll take those kinds of treatments for trying to extend, give people extended treatments.

52:44 Adam First thing to do is to talk to her.

52:48 Drew Confront her a little bit and say, are you interested? Maybe she will be. Call us, call local psychiatric hospital, see what they recommend, do a little research.

52:55 Adam I think your boyfriend's got to get out of that house first, because that's going to be a disaster.

52:59 Drew And she has to be prepared to go somewhere for a while. She's going to need a little, 14-year cocaine addiction will take months to treat, begin to treat.

53:06 Adam How do we know it's 14 years? The ex-husband?

53:09 Caller Yeah. He noticed it when she started going out to bars and stuff and leaving my boyfriend at home when he was a young kid.

53:17 Drew This is all kind of, who knows what this real story is.

53:19 Adam This could just be alcohol too. She's into everything. And look, everybody, Drew, what percentage of people that are on disability for back problems or should be on disability for back problems? Five percent?

53:32 Drew No, no, more like about 30 percent.

53:34 Adam 30? Make it 20. I could get 80 percent of those people back in the workforce. Not operating heavy machinery, but put them on a computer.

53:43 Drew Yeah?

53:44 Adam Jesus Christ. All right, let's go ahead and do that intervention.

53:48 Drew Yeah, find an interventionist. They can be kind of expensive sometimes, but you find a facility that's going to be treating them.

53:53 Adam How much is an intervention?

53:54 Drew Oh, it can be thousands of dollars.

53:55 Adam Oh, really? Yeah. I could do, I could get you that intervention for eight, nine hundred bucks.

53:59 Drew I mean, guys, you do it yourself.

54:01 Adam I start by coming in, I come into the house with a shoulder roll. It's real squat action. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back. Drew, remember that one?

54:10 Drew Yeah, there it is.

54:12 Adam After this.

54:30 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

54:43 Adam All right, Anderson, can I get a witness over here or what? Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191-ER. Dr. Drew over there. Drew's doing a TV show. I think it's really gotten to him.

54:57 Drew That's true.

54:58 Adam Are they driving you nuts over there?

54:59 Drew Of course.

55:01 Adam Why don't they listen to you, Drew?

55:03 Drew Why don't you listen to me? See, that's the problem here. It's the same problem I'm having during the day.

55:08 Adam Listen, Drew and I were arguing because he hung up on a boyfriend's in prison call, and I love prison calls.

55:13 Drew There it is.

55:14 Adam There's another. Yeah.

55:16 Drew There she is. That's her.

55:17 Adam Oh, that's her. It's Angel. Yeah. All right. Now listen, here's the thing, Drew. You can't pout and make this a bad call.

55:23 Caller If it's a good call, it's a good call.

55:24 Drew Yeah.

55:27 Adam Angel?

55:27 Guest Hello?

55:29 Drew What's happening? 22.

55:30 Adam Angel, number, well, I'm trying to think. My number, my one to ten white trash names.

55:35 Adam Can I talk to you about it?

55:37 Adam Yeah, hold on. We got Cammie, we got Tammy, we got, what's the, what's the?

55:45 Drew Well, Angel just, it's just never an Angel.

55:48 Adam No, so Angel, I'd say 80% of chicks named Angel have a teardrop tattoo.

55:55 Drew In our color base, yeah.

55:56 Adam Just in general.

55:57 Drew Yeah.

55:58 Adam Never a hot chick named Angel is a virgin. It's always a chicken in and out of the joint. Got track marks in her knees.

56:04 Drew Or it's a guy.

56:05 Adam Ooh. Angel?

56:07 Guest Yes.

56:08 Adam All right. So you're 22.

56:10 Guest Yes.

56:10 Adam Calling from Idaho.

56:12 Caller Yeah.

56:13 Adam Yeah. And your boyfriend's in jail?

56:16 Guest Well, he's kind of my boyfriend, but we just, well, he's not my boyfriend, right? Broke up a long time ago before we started together. And well, like, we had sex, like, about a month ago.

56:29 Adam And how did he do that? How did he do that? He's in jail.

56:32 Guest No, he went to jail, like, three weeks ago.

56:35 Adam Oh, okay.

56:36 Guest So like, about a month ago, we had sex and we didn't have protected sex or anything. And like, I had my period two days later, but like, I haven't had my NIST month, like a week late.

56:46 Drew Right. Get a pregnancy test.

56:48 Guest Like, is it possible, though, like, to have your period?

56:50 Drew Yes, it's possible. Yes, it's possible.

56:52 Adam Why is it possible? It's possible. All right, but it's not-

56:55 Drew Not likely, but it's possible.

56:56 Adam Not likely, but not likely at all, or?

56:58 Caller Well, it would be possible.

56:59 Drew It's, it's, the bleeding could have been anything, could have been just something stimulated by the sexual activity. It might have been, you know.

57:05 Adam Angel, did you use any kind of birth control?

57:08 Guest No, nothing. No protection of any kind.

57:11 Drew It's possible that she ovulated around the time or period. That can happen.

57:14 Adam She said no protection of any kind.

57:16 Drew That's what she said.

57:17 Adam Angel, what, are you retarded? You got guys going into jail, and you just have an unprotected sex with them?

57:23 Guest Yeah, kind of like that.

57:24 Caller The phone lines are screwed up.

57:26 Adam All right, what's the matter? Do you have another kid?

57:28 Drew Yes.

57:29 Guest I do have a kid already.

57:31 Adam What, what, what, what, we should put some sort of collar on you. You're like an animal. What are you doing? What's going on with this other kid? Who's the dad of this other kid? Same guy?

57:44 Guest No, different guy.

57:48 Adam Are you stupid?

57:49 Guest I don't know where he's at.

57:50 Drew Why don't you get a pregnancy test?

57:54 Guest I don't know. I'm afraid, I guess. I don't know.

57:56 Adam All right.

57:57 Drew Well, that's what you need to get.

57:58 Guest I didn't know that it was possible.

58:01 Adam Listen to me. You had sex with him. You had unprotected sex with him before you knew that period stuff was coming. So don't give me that crap. You already have one kid from some guy who's God knows where probably in the joint too. What is your plan? Jesus Christ, sweetie. Come on now, get it together. And what's this guy going in the joint for?

58:22 Guest Well, he's just in jail and he'll get out here soon enough.

58:25 Drew No, he's not in the joint, he's just in jail. Oh, he's in jail. How dare you?

58:28 Guest He got into some trouble.

58:30 Drew Oh, wait. Oh, Adam, take that down. Take that down. Hold on a second, Angel. We're getting notes here.

58:34 Adam Got into trouble.

58:36 Caller She's saying the joint is prison and that's like...

58:39 Adam Right, right.

58:39 Drew He's going to jail, but he got in trouble.

58:41 Adam He's one of these guys, like you have a whole bunch of warrants, they just put you in there for like 20 days. How long is he in for?

58:48 Guest He'll be out this week, but he's in and out all the time, so...

58:52 Adam All right. Okay.

58:53 Adam All right. I would just put him down, by the way, and I'd put a collar on you that just had a little...

58:59 Drew Electrified. No, no, no, no, no.

59:01 Adam No, it would just be one of those pins that went in your neck and doses of estrogen or hormones would just go in there. Just keep you sterile constantly. And the fact that as a society, we have zero plan for the folks that are just out there sort of polluting with their offspring. You know what I mean? Just banging out one kid from this dude, and here's another felon, crank out a kid from this guy. I know I'm a broken record with this, but we don't want to dress it, never comes up. There's a few things that never seem to come up, and I'm always curious about it. I'm curious why the president doesn't say like, hey everybody, we could save a lot of electricity if you guys would just shut the lights off in the room when you left. I know it sounds kind of passe, but wouldn't it be cool? Wouldn't it be cool to hear just some sort of basic normal messages from the president? Hey, you welfare moms, deadbeat dads, you quit crapping out the kids so we could get the school system up and running.

1:00:03 Drew He needs to run a military, though, after all. He needs someone to fill those spots.

1:00:06 Adam Well, that is true. He does need folks. Does need folks to, yeah.

1:00:11 Drew All right, so here's the deal with the bleeding. Not having your period number one, two, three causes pregnancy. There are many others, including ovarian cyst, endometriosis, changes in your hypothalamic-pituitary axis, but angels hearing none of that.

1:00:23 Adam Right.

1:00:23 Drew Fact is, she had unprotected sex, could be pregnant, needs to get a pregnancy test.

1:00:26 Adam All right, everyone, please, please decide whether you're stupid or not. And here's what I want to know, do people admit they're stupid? Do you look in the mirror and go...

1:00:36 Drew Occasionally. We actually like those people.

1:00:38 Adam I like those people too. Do they look in the mirror and go, I'm white trash. I can't control my actions. Sure, I have the body of a twenty-two-year-old woman, but I have the brain of a retarded four-year-old village idiot. You know what I mean? Like, I have no function, I can barely control my bowels. Like, do they admit that to themselves, or would that be a further evolution?

1:01:01 Drew Well, it seems to me that if you actually would admit that to yourself, you'd have to change.

1:01:07 Adam Right.

1:01:07 Drew If you really vividly understood that.

1:01:09 Adam All right, I'm just saying, I just want the state to tag these animals. Shani?

1:01:14 Yes. Yes. What's happening? I was just calling because me and my boyfriend for the past year, we have been trying to get pregnant and I can't and I'm just trying to find out, is that common?

1:01:29 Drew One year.

1:01:30 For me being young.

1:01:32 Drew Yeah, it's common. I think it can take, it average takes about a year. And you could get some.

1:01:37 Adam Unless your boyfriend's in the joint. I'll tell you if he would quit his job in going to the joint.

1:01:42 Drew Lose his teeth.

1:01:42 Adam You get knocked up almost immediately. Yeah, and if he started beating on you and had sex with your knees.

1:01:48 Drew Three kids. Three kids.

1:01:49 Adam Oh, at least. Yeah, brood.

1:01:51 Drew Shani, if you have any questions, why don't you sing a doctor about this? Because if you have any fertility concerns there.

1:01:54 Adam Well, it's just 25 and it's just not married.

1:01:57 Drew Oh, you're not married.

1:01:58 It's a boyfriend. No, but we have been talking about getting married and everything. But I think his thing is, I believe this is what it is. He probably, he wants to marry me, but he wants a key. And I know he probably wants a what? If I can't give him one, he probably don't want a.

1:02:12 Adam A key. He wants a key. Now here's the thing, in a way, I mean, maybe you don't want to admit this, but you sort of feel like if you can get pregnant, you can lock this elusive guy in, right?

1:02:28 Caller No, that's not true. I mean, I am ready. I like, it's like.

1:02:32 Adam I know you're you're ready, but I mean.

1:02:34 Drew It's not time. You're not married. You don't have a place to bring a family in.

1:02:37 Adam He's not going to commit unless you get pregnant. He's not going to marry you.

1:02:41 Caller I don't feel we're committed. We've been together for three years.

1:02:44 Adam You would like to get, Shani, though, you would like to get married. True or false? True. And he would not like to get married.

1:02:52 Caller He brings it up all the time.

1:02:54 Adam Well, why don't you get, well, you want to get married.

1:02:57 Drew And he wants to get married.

1:02:57 Adam He brings it up all the time. Forget about marriage. Okay.

1:03:00 Drew You want to go to Disneyland.

1:03:01 Adam Let's bring up, yeah.

1:03:03 Drew And he brings it up all the time.

1:03:04 Adam Let's bring up eating Italian. It's just you got a craving for meatballs. He's got a craving for lasagna.

1:03:11 Drew He brings it up all the time.

1:03:12 Adam He brings it up all the time. Let's never eat Italian. Is that how life works?

1:03:17 Adam No. We all know you would be like Mama Celeste and he'd be like Chef Boyardee.

1:03:28 Caller He should be stripped of his chef status, by the way.

1:03:31 Drew Really? It could be Cook Boyardee.

1:03:33 Adam Yeah. You put enough corn syrup in with the ravioli as we strip you of your ranking of chef. My point is he does not want to get married. You want to get married. He brings it up every once in a while to shut you up. But you want to get married, he doesn't. You feel like if you got pregnant, that would get you married. I'm not saying you don't want the kid, but there's also an element of wanting to settle him down.

1:03:59 Caller That's not true.

1:04:02 Adam It has to be true.

1:04:03 Caller That's not true. I feel that he's ready. It's not like I'm trying to trap him or anything, because that's not what I want at all. Because I don't want to be like, that's my baby's daddy, you know what I'm saying? I want to be married and you know what I'm saying? I have to get married.

1:04:18 Drew So why don't you get married?

1:04:19 Adam I know.

1:04:20 Caller Hold on a second.

1:04:21 Drew This is what you're saying about looking in the mirror. This is that person.

1:04:24 Adam Yes. Okay. There's a few things I've learned from the brief time I've known Shani. One is she wants to get married. The other thing is he doesn't want to get married.

1:04:33 Drew Oh. I didn't learn that.

1:04:35 Adam Oh, well, he brings it up all the time. Yeah. I'm cutting through the haze here. She did mention earlier in the call that he doesn't want to be with someone who can't have his kid. He wants a kid. He wants a child.

1:04:50 Drew That's the way to establish her bulkhead.

1:04:52 Adam That's what she said at the beginning of the call. He doesn't want to be with someone who can't have a kid. He wants a kid and he wants to be with that person who has his kid. But as soon as I do the math and say, well, you want to get pregnant, then no, it's nothing. Nothing could be further from the truth. How dare you?

1:05:08 Caller Yeah.

1:05:10 Adam How many miles off here am I, Shani? A million miles or a kibillion light years?

1:05:15 Caller You're not that far off, but I just don't want you guys to think that I'm trying to trap him or nothing like that.

1:05:21 Adam Well, the other thing I've learned is you don't want to get into that baby's daddy stuff, Right. but you're trying to get pregnant and you're not married.

1:05:30 Drew But you want to get married.

1:05:31 Caller Right.

1:05:32 Adam That's baby's daddy. That's the first step to the baby's daddy part. So, here's the thing, you could, after a year of trying, you could probably go to some fertility doctor and start looking into it. But I would be more truthful about what you want and I would go ahead and call him out and say, look, I don't want to trap you into something. If you want to get married, we're going to get married, but it's not because you get me pregnant.

1:06:00 Drew Right.

1:06:01 Adam All right. And don't be afraid to ask for what you want.

1:06:03 Drew Ladies, what is that? Don't be afraid to assert what you'd be honest about what you want and go ahead and say it. Well, some of the guy is going to scamper off if you're honest.

1:06:12 Adam The reason you don't ask for what you want is because you think you know what the answer is. Well, if that answer is bad.

1:06:17 Drew Well, if then that's the answer. You're not going to change that. Guys don't change. No, you're going to end up with a baby with that guy left.

1:06:24 Adam I know, but it's better to live in a sort of half fantasy, the retardo land where you're still hanging on to a dream than the reality of being alone.

1:06:35 Drew Yep.

1:06:36 Adam All right.

1:06:39 Caller Yeah.

1:06:40 Adam Seventeen?

1:06:41 Caller Yeah.

1:06:41 Adam What's up?

1:06:42 Caller Hi. I'm about four months pregnant and my boyfriend is 20 and he just recently cheated on me with my best friend about three weeks ago and she has herpes and I guess they did it unprotected. That's what they tell me. She told me it's been going on for like two weeks, but he told me it only happened one time.

1:07:05 Adam Well, you gotta believe him.

1:07:09 Caller Well, she's kind of psychotic. Like she like rubbed it in my face after it happened. Yeah, it was good and I would do it again and da da da da.

1:07:16 Drew What kind of friend is that?

1:07:17 Adam Yeah, that's what she hears.

1:07:19 Caller That's what she told me.

1:07:20 Caller I called her bawling my head off.

1:07:21 Caller Like, how could you do this to me?

1:07:22 Caller And she was like, yeah, it was good too. No, she didn't say that.

1:07:26 Drew She did not say that.

1:07:27 Adam Now here's the thing.

1:07:28 Drew What did she say? I'm dying to know what she actually said.

1:07:30 Adam Chicks don't know what people say. They only know how they feel.

1:07:34 Drew I know.

1:07:34 Adam And they translate that into what they said.

1:07:36 Drew Let's see if we can get what she said.

1:07:38 Adam You're not going to get it. Go ahead.

1:07:40 Drew Jessie?

1:07:41 Caller Yeah.

1:07:42 Drew What did she say to you?

1:07:44 Caller She told me it was good and she would do it again if she had the chance.

1:07:47 Drew What was the question you asked her? Would you say, would you do it again?

1:07:51 Adam One to ten. How would you rate him?

1:07:52 Caller I asked her why did she do that to me? I said, you're my best friend. I love you like a sister. And she was like, I don't care.

1:07:59 Drew Wait, wait. What were her actual words?

1:08:01 Adam Let me explain. Drew, do it to me. Come on. I'll say it once.

1:08:03 Drew I don't understand why you would do this. I loved you like a sister.

1:08:06 Adam Why? You think you're my best friend?

1:08:08 Drew You're my best friend in the world. I can't understand why you would do this. Why did you do this to me?

1:08:12 Adam He was awesome. He nailed me. He banged the bejesus out of me. I sucked him dry. And I would do it again.

1:08:18 Drew But why? I understand. I'm confused.

1:08:20 Adam I would do it again.

1:08:21 Drew But you're my best friend. I love you like my sister.

1:08:23 Adam What time is it? I'd like to be doing it later on tonight. Oh, he was hot. He was hot.

1:08:29 Drew I couldn't help myself.

1:08:30 Adam Nailed me good. Yeah, that's how it works.

1:08:31 Drew Yeah, that's what she said.

1:08:32 Adam That's exactly how it worked.

1:08:33 Adam Jessie called and said, she found, Jessie's pregnant, found out that her boyfriend was on top of her best friend and called and said, sweetie, oh my, what was that about, sweetie? You're my best friend and I love you like a sister. And she's like, yeah, it was good. No, she called screaming.

1:08:51 Drew Screaming, you bitch.

1:08:52 Adam She dropped the C word like 70 times in a row and the chick fired back with, I'd do it again, too. It was good.

1:08:58 Drew Yeah. I'm tired of your crap.

1:08:59 Caller Yeah.

1:09:00 Adam Yeah.

1:09:01 Caller Yeah.

1:09:01 Caller All right.

1:09:02 Drew Is that more like a Jessie?

1:09:04 Caller I didn't say anything bad to her. I was just I just was crying so bad.

1:09:08 Adam You just called saying, sweet, I thought we're best friends. And she just kept saying it.

1:09:11 Caller Yeah.

1:09:12 Adam OK, if that's true, if if what you're saying is true, your friend is a cat scan. Not only that, you have the worst judgment, the worst taste in people of anybody on the planet.

1:09:23 Caller Well, plus, I guess I should have known because she used to tell me that she had dreams about having sex with them and stuff. Yeah.

1:09:30 Drew That's not what we're talking about, Jesse.

1:09:31 Adam No. Hey, everyone, so what's, hold on, what's going on tonight where everyone's just locked into our own retarded fantasy land of what reality is. Everyone's the greatest. Oh, you have to my boyfriend. That's cool because you're my best friend, sweetie, and you're like a sister to me. Yeah.

1:09:50 Caller She's such a delight.

1:09:52 Adam All right, Jesse, and what about the guy? What's his status now?

1:09:57 Caller Well, he already has a kid by another girl, and he doesn't really see that one, and he's like kind of in and out of jail and everything.

1:10:06 Caller I don't know.

1:10:07 Adam Really? I'm just going to kill myself, Drew.

1:10:09 Drew Is your friend Jesse in and out of jail, too?

1:10:14 Caller Well, because he had unlawful sex with a minor, yeah.

1:10:17 Drew Is your friend Jesse in and out of jail also? I'm going to believe that one would be.

1:10:21 Caller I'm Jesse. That's Jesse.

1:10:22 Drew No, I beg your pardon. Is Jesse your friend that's had sex with him? Is she also a criminal?

1:10:27 Caller No.

1:10:28 Drew Her behavior, what you described, is absolutely completely antisocial criminal behavior. So the only way that story makes sense is if you like to hang around people who are criminals.

1:10:37 Adam What is that?

1:10:38 Caller I don't like to hang around criminals. The way he explained the story to me was that the girl he got pregnant, she was 17, he was 18, it wasn't a big deal, and then as soon as she got pregnant, her mom pressed charges against him, so he went to jail for it. Now I'm pregnant by him in, yeah.

1:10:55 Adam In your 17.

1:10:56 Drew Shocking. Imagine that.

1:10:57 Adam Hold on a second. Nobody's with me in my plan just to put these guys down. We don't, no patterns, no whatever, nothing. Can't tag them, can't monitor them, can't do anything with them. All we do is just sort of clean up after them. Just like some, there's just like some rabid bear that stumbles, been terrorizing a campsite, just tearing. Here's the deal, everyone, just tearing in the campers and all the kids. It's the same bears. We see it stagger into the campsite. At a certain point, we just mount up and go get it and just put it down. Do you know what I'm saying?

1:11:31 Drew You're judging.

1:11:32 Adam I know.

1:11:33 Drew You're judging again.

1:11:33 Adam I'm good at judging. It's one of my things. I just sit around and judge all goddamn day. All right. That's too bad, nothing.

1:11:40 Caller I'm not as smart as you guys say. I swear I'm not. I'm actually very smart.

1:11:44 Adam No, clearly. So what's your plan? Can you get an abortion?

1:11:49 Caller No, I'm too far along and I don't believe in that anyway.

1:11:52 Adam All right. Well, it's nice to meet an old fashioned girl.

1:11:55 Drew Has he had sex with you since he contacted the herpes?

1:11:58 Caller See, that's the thing. He was with her and then he came back and had sex with me and I didn't know that they had been together. So I'm just wondering what my chances are of getting herpes because what I have heard is that you can't get it unless the guy is actually like broke it out with it or whatever.

1:12:12 Drew That's not true. You can get it easily without there being an outbreak, but you don't have to get it. So you need to talk to your doctor. They need to do a pelvic exam and see. It can be pretty subst…

1:12:20 Caller I did talk to my doctor and he said there's really no way to test for it until you've already broken out, is it?

1:12:25 Drew That is correct.

1:12:26 Adam Well, so now it's just a waiting game.

1:12:28 Drew It's a waiting game. But think about up to two weeks to know for sure.

1:12:31 Adam It'd be nice if you gave birth before the herpes broke out.

1:12:34 Caller Well, I'm just wondering like how is it going to affect my child because…

1:12:38 Drew Hopefully you won't have it.

1:12:39 Adam Now listen, what do you care?

1:12:42 Caller What are you going to do?

1:12:44 Adam President or something? Don't worry about him. Just let your mom raise him, would you?

1:12:50 Caller Do you think I should still work things out with him?

1:12:53 Adam No, no, he's a criminal.

1:12:56 Caller He told me he's like found Christ now and he's like not going to ever cheat on me again and everything.

1:13:01 Adam He found Christ. This guy's borderline retarded. Didn't you say you were smart?

1:13:08 Caller I'm very religious, though. I guess I'm just figuring that if he's found God, maybe he has changed.

1:13:17 Drew Your chastity and piety is really impressive.

1:13:19 Adam It's really clearly very religious. Yeah, hang around with felons, pregnant at 16, just like Sally Fields in The Floor and The Floor.

1:13:29 Caller I got pregnant on the pill.

1:13:31 Caller I took my pill every night at the same time and I still got pregnant. So how do you point that?

1:13:36 Adam Immaculate conception. Listen, look, here's the thing, Jessie. You don't sound nearly as dumb as half the idiots we talk to on this show. This guy is a piece of work and he's a piece of ass. You need to get your head straight. There may be more for you in this life.

1:13:57 Caller Here's your plan.

1:13:58 Adam Crap this kid out. Leave these idiots. Okay? Just leave them behind you. Have your mom help you, have your family help you, raise the kid, get some education and move forward.

1:14:10 Caller All right? I have a lot of support and I'm going to go to college and everything still, so.

1:14:15 Drew Hopefully so.

1:14:15 Adam Good.

1:14:16 Drew I'm still very concerned about these distortions she has, the severe distortions.

1:14:21 Adam Yeah.

1:14:23 Drew There's no way the friend said that to her unless Jesse was going off on her.

1:14:27 Adam You know what I love about human beings? The guy already did a little stint in the joint because he knocked somebody 17-year-old up as an adult, and then.

1:14:36 Drew Does it again.

1:14:37 Adam Lo and behold, knocks another 17-year-old up.

1:14:39 Drew Then.

1:14:40 Adam Has no idea where that kid is. Right. Then hops on top of Jesse's best friend, and it's not going to be part of this kid's life either. Here's the deal. It's like you're basically just driving down the freeway, just dumping trash out of your windows. You drive down the highway. We can't pull these guys over. Getting to stop. You know what I mean? Just polluting the country with their offspring. Nothing. Not interested. Nobody. Nothing. All right. Fantastic. Kids going to be president. Let's take ourselves a little break. Jessica wants to know about having a strap on sex. Hold on a second. I'm back.

1:15:24 Caller Jessica.

1:15:25 Caller Hello.

1:15:27 Adam What's happening? Who's in the background?

1:15:29 Caller I'm my roommate.

1:15:30 Adam OK. She hot?

1:15:32 Guest What?

1:15:33 Adam Is she hot?

1:15:36 Guest She.

1:15:36 Caller Yeah, they all are.

1:15:38 Adam Oh, OK, because I said he.

1:15:40 Caller Well, I don't have any guy roommates.

1:15:42 Adam All right. Hold on.

1:15:44 Caller It's wrong.

1:15:45 Adam I kill myself. I said, is she hot three times? And I got the he. No, she.

1:15:51 Caller All right.

1:15:51 Adam Look, I'm regrouping. Drew.

1:15:53 Drew Yeah.

1:15:53 Adam Drew's going to put his head in the toilet.

1:15:55 Drew OK. Yeah.

1:15:56 Adam I'm going to stuff my head in the tank.

1:15:57 Drew OK. Good.

1:15:58 Adam Because is there a full moon now? What's going on outside? Something's going on.

1:16:02 No, it's like a total total new moon.

1:16:04 Caller It's very strange looking.

1:16:06 Adam New moon. Oh, we will take a break. We'll get back because Jessica is a strap on question, wants to be with her lady friend. All that, after this.

1:16:32 Caller Yeah!

1:16:33 Adam It's bitter old Pops Corolla and his left hand henchman Dr. Drew. We'll get back to the phones. First, the phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-R. When we left off, we were speaking to Jessica. Jessica, 20, Jessica?

1:16:50 Caller Yeah.

1:16:51 Adam All right, so now, you had a question about a strap-on?

1:16:55 Caller Yes.

1:16:56 Adam All right, what's the question?

1:16:58 Caller I haven't been with a guy before. Well, I haven't had sex with a guy before.

1:17:02 Guest And no. All right.

1:17:06 Caller And me and my girlfriend are talking about getting a strap-on, and I just kind of want to know, like, what to expect.

1:17:13 Drew Well, you mean you're worrying about your Hymen rupturing?

1:17:18 Caller Yeah, about that.

1:17:19 Caller Well, not so much about that.

1:17:20 Caller I just want to know, like, if there's anything we should be careful of or, like...

1:17:26 Adam Well, first off, you can pick up a good used strap-on in the Penny Saver.

1:17:32 Drew eBay now.

1:17:33 Adam Oh, eBay's good, too. Now, the Recycler, you're calling from Sacramento, Recycler come out Thursday. You want to get it early and get those calls in early.

1:17:42 Drew Should she go to garage sales? To fish around the night before?

1:17:48 Adam I've had some luck with strap-ons and garage sales, but mainly the thrift stores, or especially the ones by, like, the Cancer Institute and stuff like that. They have certain charities.

1:18:01 Adam Yeah.

1:18:03 Adam Anyway, Jessica, you're going to be... Are you going to be on both ends of the strap-on?

1:18:09 Guest Eventually.

1:18:10 Caller Eventually.

1:18:12 Adam You're wearing first.

1:18:13 Adam Oh, you're wearing first.

1:18:15 Adam That's good. And is there any... I've seen it in the porn movies. Is there any simulated oral with it, or is that just a porn move?

1:18:25 Guest I don't know.

1:18:25 Caller I think that's kind of stupid.

1:18:26 Guest It probably...

1:18:27 Adam Yeah, that's a time waster.

1:18:29 Caller More for guys' enjoyment than anything.

1:18:31 Adam Yeah, yeah, because there's certain moves I see in the porn world where I'm like, guy, give me a break. Yeah, I've never seen that. Well, I've had a strap-on a million times. I've had a girl put her mouth on it, slipped up there, Drew. Yeah, the other fake porn move is the one where the chick gets the decoration on the chest and enjoys it, rubs it in. Oh, yeah, finally. Finally, semen on my boobs. Oh, finally. Awesome. I love it. I love it. You know, as soon as they cut, she's like, give me a towel and some Purell, the joint.

1:19:02 Caller It's horrible. Yeah.

1:19:04 Adam Yeah. Anyway, so what about it? Do you have a hymen?

1:19:12 Caller I've never, I mean, I've never bled during any kind of sexual activity, so I'm assuming.

1:19:16 Adam Well, but you never had any intercourse.

1:19:19 Caller Yeah.

1:19:20 Caller I mean, I've had guys banging and stuff.

1:19:23 Caller I've never.

1:19:24 Adam Oh, the finger.

1:19:25 Caller Yeah.

1:19:26 Adam A little light, little dusting of finger blasting. Okay. Hey, so Jessica, well, I would say go get yourself, don't go over the top with it. Get yourself a moderate size one. Also, now some of the newer ones actually have a lower lumbar support built into them, like a back support, like you'd know where. You see the guys at the Home Depot. Right, sure.

1:19:53 Drew Yeah. They think a little suspenders do it.

1:19:55 Adam Suspender comes over the top. It's got that wide back thing for, it's good for lower, good for the lower back. I've seen the other ones that have the, you know, the Velcro side for the TV remote and the other one place, place to put your key chain. You want to, you want to get a moderately sized one. Lube, I would say you want to use some lube, right?

1:20:15 Caller Yeah. And you don't want to put it, you don't want to go, you don't want to go back door.

1:20:19 Drew Right.

1:20:20 Caller And then go front door. Right.

1:20:21 Adam Yeah. You go front door, back door. Yeah. Are you, you planning any back door action?

1:20:26 Caller No.

1:20:27 Adam Okay. But, but you stay open to it.

1:20:29 Caller You never know.

1:20:31 Adam You never know. That's the whole thing.

1:20:32 Drew I just feel very open-minded, very liberal.

1:20:33 Caller I just stay open-minded.

1:20:35 Adam Tomorrow's a new day. And are you sort of biologically homosexual or were you created in the basement?

1:20:43 Caller I don't really know.

1:20:44 Caller I mean, I'm not, I've never had any kind of sexual abuse.

1:20:47 Caller I have great male role models.

1:20:49 Caller I just, I just found myself very attracted to my girlfriend. So.

1:20:53 Adam And attracted to other women as well?

1:20:56 Caller Yeah, I have been.

1:20:57 Adam All right. So you're into it. And you know, how about your how about your girlfriend?

1:21:02 Caller She too.

1:21:03 Caller She experimented some before we got together and just like, I don't know, pretty into it.

1:21:11 Adam Would you would you ever think about letting a guy, if you dug a guy, would you let him watch?

1:21:16 Caller Nope.

1:21:17 Adam Come on.

1:21:17 Caller Um, yeah, we'd actually, we've talked about having threesomes before and just could you dig at him?

1:21:25 Adam Who's your radio buddy? Come on.

1:21:27 Caller Yeah.

1:21:28 Adam You let me watch, right?

1:21:29 Caller Phone up.

1:21:29 Guest We'll let you listen.

1:21:31 Adam Yeah, that's not even close. For a chick, that's kind of like, just, you know, one of our callers might be better.

1:21:39 Caller Might be better for a call.

1:21:41 Adam Are you attractive, Jessica?

1:21:43 Caller Um, yeah, I'm all right.

1:21:45 Guest I don't get much complaints.

1:21:47 Adam You don't get complaints?

1:21:48 Drew Not much, not much complaints.

1:21:49 Caller Yeah.

1:21:50 Adam Some written stuff, but not too much. But you shouldn't be, she has a little tat over a vagina that says a suggestion box.

1:22:02 Caller Hey, I have another question.

1:22:03 Adam Yeah. How about a nice bath before?

1:22:06 Caller That'd be a great tat.

1:22:10 Adam All right.

1:22:10 Caller But hold on.

1:22:11 Adam What an awesome tat that would be.

1:22:13 Drew Complaints?

1:22:15 Adam Just, just here's all I'm saying. All I'm saying is, is you get a chick, she shaved downstairs and there's a tat right above her vagina that says suggestion box and an arrow just pointing down. That's funny stuff. That is good stuff.

1:22:35 Drew Never gets old.

1:22:35 Adam It does not get old. Yeah, because they don't really have a complaint box.

1:22:40 Drew They do, but they always call it something else.

1:22:41 Adam They call it a suggestion box. Ultimate. Drew, I'm gonna write that down. I'm gonna write that down. All right.

1:22:49 Drew Let's finish with Jessica. Are we done with her?

1:22:51 Adam I don't know. Jessica? Yeah. Get that tattoo for me, would you, sweetie? Hell no. All right. And so you guys gonna go get this. You're gonna try it out. You're gonna be on both ends of it. Sounds fantastic.

1:23:04 Drew Yeah, I'm just gonna watch.

1:23:05 Adam Yeah.

1:23:05 Caller Have you guys heard of women getting off wearing strap-ons before?

1:23:10 Adam Wearing them? Well, in the movies again, but no, I, I would highly doubt that.

1:23:16 Drew Seems hard, the hard trick to pull off.

1:23:19 Adam Although, do you, do you orgasm easily?

1:23:22 Guest Yeah.

1:23:23 Adam Okay. Well, this could work for you. And by the way, they probably have one these days that has a little something.

1:23:30 Drew For the other end.

1:23:31 Adam Little, little push me, pull me. Push you, pull me, whatever Drew calls it.

1:23:38 Drew Push me, vibe you.

1:23:39 Adam Yeah. The point is, is they must, because they now make everything.

1:23:43 Drew Right, right.

1:23:43 Adam They now make everything. There used to be, when I was growing up, there was about six things you could put up, yeah. Now there's a cornucopia of items that will go up, yeah.

1:23:55 Drew Emphasis on the corn.

1:23:57 Adam There's a cornucopia of things that will go up, yeah. And I bet they make something that's got a little something for the user, too. All right.

1:24:06 Drew All right, here we go.

1:24:07 Adam All right. Sarah?

1:24:09 Guest Yes.

1:24:10 Adam 21?

1:24:11 Guest Yes.

1:24:11 Adam What's up?

1:24:13 Guest Well, like, when I have sex, I have to be physically abused, like, in order to get any satisfaction out of it. It really freaks my guy out.

1:24:22 Drew Were you physically abused growing up?

1:24:24 Guest Well, yeah.

1:24:25 Drew Okay. The way to think about this is that one of the hypotheses is that the part of your brain that has arousal gets sort of burned out by all that sort of shattered by all that physical abuse. And so in order to sort of make that part of your brain even experience arousal, you have to have very high levels of stimulation. Thus, all this sort of physical...

1:24:46 Guest Is there any way for me to get that without having to be choked or smacked around or something?

1:24:50 Adam You know? Do you know what hypotheses means, Sarah?

1:24:55 Adam No.

1:24:56 Drew Thoughts or ideas or unproven theories.

1:25:00 Adam Chris, you dodged a bullet there.

1:25:03 Drew No, I knew what that meant.

1:25:04 Adam All right, buddy. All right.

1:25:05 Drew And there probably are other things, but they also need to be very, very arousing. And the reason you choose physical is that sort of a way of sort of re-evoking those same traumas.

1:25:16 Adam Well, how can you ever reverse this? And can you, can you, okay, you'll never, you'll never cure it, but can you not, It's a kind of a fetish. Can you not indulge it? And does it sort of scab over a little bit?

1:25:30 Drew Yeah, it's sort of a fetish. If she could learn to be actually present and vulnerable and ask for things more genuinely in bed, which again, it's not something you see people just step up and do when they've been through something like this, she could get over it, but it really probably takes some therapy for that to happen.

1:25:46 Guest I try not to do it, and it's just like, I try to just like be normal, and like I get nothing out of it, you know, I just, I feel like I'm there, but I...

1:25:54 Adam Here's the other thing too, a guy always gets to have this sort of physical release. A woman, if it ain't happening emotionally, it ain't happening.

1:26:04 Drew Yeah.

1:26:04 Adam I mean, they have to go back to it. You know, a guy could sort of probably still just, all right, I'll just get off and watch some TV. You know, he could get away with it. Yeah. It's such an important element for a woman. Who abused you?

1:26:19 Guest My stepdad.

1:26:21 Adam Physical, sexual?

1:26:22 Guest Physical, because he wanted, my stepdad was very jealous of me. He wanted that type of relationship, sexually as well, but...

1:26:33 Drew Who?

1:26:34 Guest He was abusive towards me because he was jealous of me.

1:26:39 Drew Jealous, you mean because you turned him down?

1:26:42 Guest Because he couldn't have me.

1:26:44 Adam Right, I'm not sure if that's jealous of you.

1:26:46 Drew That's not jealousy.

1:26:47 Guest Well, when he explained it, he said he was jealous of me. That's why I never went anywhere and stuff.

1:26:52 Adam Yeah, how old were you?

1:26:54 Guest It was from the time I was nine until 16.

1:26:58 Adam How come he couldn't nail you at nine? What kind of abuser is this? You know what I mean?

1:27:04 Drew How about Sarah having the ability to...

1:27:06 Adam Were you fighting him off at age nine?

1:27:09 Guest He never sexually touched me and he wrestled with me and grabbed my breasts and stuff, but he never really took it any farther and he got counseling for that, but he still was very abusive. He beat me up and stuff.

1:27:19 Drew Who sent him for counseling for the grabby?

1:27:21 Adam The state.

1:27:23 Drew How was he sent for counseling for the grabby behavior?

1:27:26 Guest He talked to his pastor because he started getting into church when I was like 16.

1:27:30 Drew But what made him realize that was even wrong?

1:27:33 Guest My stepdad was sexually abused growing up and he didn't want to put me...

1:27:36 Drew Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

1:27:39 Adam You can rest assured your mom was sexually abused too.

1:27:42 Adam Right, right.

1:27:44 Adam Yeah. She should hate... Does she like her dad? Does she like grandpa?

1:27:50 Guest Huh? No, my grandfather is not like that. My mom has never been through anything like that.

1:27:56 Adam Why doesn't she hook up with this guy? Something is up with your mom. She wouldn't have chose this guy and brought him home.

1:28:03 Guest Right. Well, the abuse didn't start until like a couple of years after.

1:28:08 Drew No, no. That's totally different than that. Why don't you say so?

1:28:11 Adam Yeah, because it could happen to any of us. If Drew met himself a nice woman and got married, he could start raping the kid after, you know, about 18 months. That's called a cool down period in the automotive business.

1:28:22 Caller All right, Sarah.

1:28:24 Adam Listen, baby, you got to get some therapy. You were horribly abused for many years, terrorized. How about a little therapy?

1:28:33 Drew Okay.

1:28:34 Adam And just, I know it's a very confusing concept, but.

1:28:37 Drew Sarah, here's the deal. Only people that have significant problems will involve themselves with somebody like your stepdad. So that's why we know your mom also has problems. So both parents.

1:28:47 Adam I know I'm very good. I'm getting very preachy tonight. But is there any goddamn concept of any kind of therapy at all in this goddamn country?

1:28:54 Drew How dare you? You just need to choose to be better, to put it away. Just declare yourself a virgin again and move on.

1:29:00 Adam Hey, yeah. Everything happens for a reason. What do you, everything happens for a reason, A-hole, say about the nine-year-olds that are physically and sexually abused?

1:29:09 Drew How about the two that were found murdered?

1:29:11 Adam Hey, Drew. Hey, we can't question. Everything happens for a reason. Listen, everybody. Therapy is not voodoo science. It helps people. And some people need it. Some people, it's a luxury. Like I just go in there and complain about my dad missing a few popcorn or football games. But for the folks that, oh, about the last 350 people that called this show, it's a necessity. It's a medical problem. I don't understand why this isn't more accepted. And I do blame the powers that be. I do blame guys that are empowered as talking about, you know, seeking, you know, going to talk to their clergy or praying on this kind of stuff.

1:29:55 Drew How about that Runaway Bride thing, the clergy? She just needs to talk out her stuff. She was psychotic. Now it turns out she was a shoplifter and he was a crazy guy before and decided he declared himself a virgin now.

1:30:05 Adam Yes.

1:30:06 Drew There's psychiatric problems here.

1:30:07 Adam But so here's the thing, everybody. You get some form of abuse. If you do get some, if you're lucky enough to be abused as a child, you then ride out the remainder of your life. And believe me, the childhood that only lasts a few years, the rest of your life could be going on for another 80, 85 years, reenacting and living out this abuse. She's going to get strangled by every guy who's on top of her and eventually gets out of hand, someone puts a belt around her neck and that's that. All right. Or you get some therapy at some point, you get some intervention and you see if you can start working on this thing. That's everyone we've heard from tonight. You could basically do that or you just pretend like it doesn't exist. It doesn't really matter.

1:30:54 Drew All the business of, well, I dealt with that or-

1:30:57 Adam That was in the past.

1:30:57 Drew Yeah, that was in the past or I've declared myself a virgin. That's all total denial. That's BS.

1:31:03 Adam Everything is in the past. Everything. Me yelling everything is in the past.

1:31:09 Drew It's in the past.

1:31:10 Caller So is that.

1:31:11 Adam That's past.

1:31:12 Caller That too.

1:31:13 Adam Of course, you idiots. Everything is in the past. Look, you could have been horribly, horribly burned when a napalm mortar went off in your foxhole in Vietnam. That would be in the past. Your ears would still be missing.

1:31:26 Drew Right. You carry the scars.

1:31:28 Adam Forty years later, you still look like Freddy Krueger, but it was in the past.

1:31:34 Drew Now, to go, hey, that didn't happen. It happened, but we're going to call it technicality. I'm going to expunge it. It doesn't matter. I'm going to deal with it. I'm going to choose to pretend, no, I'm going to choose to move on as though that didn't happen.

1:31:46 Adam True. Wouldn't it be great if people could be sexually abused in the future?

1:31:51 Drew Nice.

1:31:51 Adam That would be a cure. By the way, you wouldn't have to go to therapy. I would leave you alone. Like if you go, I'm going to evict my stepdad, abuse me, a year, 2013. I'd go, all right, you don't have to go. You don't have to go. But if it happened before this conversation, you need to get some therapy.

1:32:09 Drew Therapy is for losers.

1:32:11 Adam Drew, please.

1:32:11 Drew You a Mormon?

1:32:13 Adam Let's take ourselves a Drew on Drew. Take yourselves a little break. Be right back after this.

1:32:23 Guest We'll be right back.

1:32:24 Caller Please hold.

1:32:25 Guest The one and only Live 105.

1:32:46 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

1:32:48 Caller I'm Adam.

1:32:51 Adam That's Dr. Drew.

1:32:52 Drew God.

1:32:53 Adam All right. It's one of those nights.

1:32:55 Drew My God.

1:32:55 Adam It's one of those nights.

1:32:56 Drew Afraid so.

1:32:57 Adam Let's go. Let's get it going.

1:32:59 Caller Let's get it on. Kayla? Kayla?

1:33:03 Adam What's happening?

1:33:03 Caller Kayla?

1:33:04 Caller Yeah, Kayla.

1:33:05 Adam What's going on?

1:33:08 Caller Nothing. What are you doing?

1:33:09 Adam Yeah. You sound hot.

1:33:12 Caller Thanks.

1:33:15 Adam You got a question for us?

1:33:17 Caller Yes, I do. Actually, I'm bisexual.

1:33:20 Caller I actually have been dating guys for a while. I actually have dated a girl before. And now I'm, well, I work with this girl and I told her I was bi. And she drove me home and she's like, I got to tell you something. I'm really confused. And she goes, so what is it like for you? And I go, well, I have playboys in my room. I know.

1:33:38 Caller I'm like, bye, you know?

1:33:40 Caller And she goes, well, I do too. That's so cool. Cause now I can have someone to talk to. So she took me home the other day and she told me that she wanted to hang out. Cause I just broke up with my boyfriend and like, I don't know. We've been together for a while, but her parents are more than You've been, you've been getting it on with her? Not yet, but I get with my other girlfriend.

1:34:00 Caller All right.

1:34:01 Adam Well, well, you, you, are you attracted to this girl?

1:34:04 Caller Yeah.

1:34:05 Caller She's really pretty. I love her style. Like she's kind of punkish, you know?

1:34:09 Adam Yeah.

1:34:10 Adam She got her own thing going on.

1:34:11 Adam It's the sexually abused by my uncle thing.

1:34:14 Adam It's awesome.

1:34:16 Drew Totally unique.

1:34:16 Adam Hello.

1:34:16 Adam I'm into Drew's, I'm into Drew's style too. It's when he wears his slippers to work and wears his flannel PJ bottoms that look like he made in them. That's what I'm attracted to. And then Drew, you're into me too, right?

1:34:28 Drew For the same reasons.

1:34:29 Adam Wearing the same, same sweatshirt with the dog hair on it every night?

1:34:32 Drew Every night.

1:34:33 Adam Awesome.

1:34:34 Drew Day 40 is when I really turn on.

1:34:35 Adam Awesome. All right, okay.

1:34:38 Adam Yeah, Drew's hot. I'm hot.

1:34:40 Adam She's hot.

1:34:40 Adam We're all hot. Chris.

1:34:41 Caller You are hot.

1:34:42 Caller I wish I could meet you.

1:34:43 Adam Yeah, be cool.

1:34:44 Caller Hey, Kayla.

1:34:45 Adam Oh, that's Chris.

1:34:46 Caller I have playboys in my room, too.

1:34:48 Adam Chris is hot, too. He has to hide it from his mom.

1:34:51 Caller I have the one with permanent electric on it with the guitar.

1:34:54 Adam Yeah.

1:34:55 Caller Hell yeah.

1:34:56 Caller All right.

1:34:57 Adam So, Kayla, what's your question?

1:35:00 Caller I don't know how to tell my parents because her parents are Mormon and my parents are Mormon and my dad kind of knows I've done stuff with girls.

1:35:09 Drew Were you a Mormon?

1:35:10 Caller Yeah.

1:35:12 Adam And yeah, why do you have to tell your parents?

1:35:16 Caller Well, I just want my dad kind of to know because sooner or later, you know.

1:35:20 Drew Why don't you break it in slowly? Why don't you just first tell them you're having sex with boys?

1:35:23 Adam That's right. And then start with them.

1:35:25 Caller Yeah, he knows that.

1:35:26 Drew He does?

1:35:28 Adam Yeah. What's your dad do?

1:35:31 Caller I'm wild. I'm like.

1:35:33 Adam Yeah, uninhibited. What did your dad do to you growing up?

1:35:35 Adam Did he neglect you?

1:35:38 Caller Well, my mom got a divorce and stuff, so I don't know.

1:35:42 Drew Was he not around?

1:35:44 Caller Yeah, until I was like 15.

1:35:47 Adam He wasn't around?

1:35:49 Caller Yeah.

1:35:49 Drew Yeah, we kind of figured that out.

1:35:50 Adam So you got to pay him back?

1:35:52 Caller Pay him back how? Just being a jerk?

1:35:56 Adam Tell him about your sexual exploits.

1:35:58 Drew What did you do?

1:35:58 Caller Tell me about it?

1:36:00 Drew What did you do?

1:36:00 Guest Tell you about it?

1:36:02 Caller Well, I don't know.

1:36:04 Drew No, no, no. You said you know what I did and then you stopped.

1:36:08 Caller Oh, not my sexual life though. It's something I did that at home. One time I stole the car at night and I drove it and then I crashed it.

1:36:20 Caller Then I told him the next day, oh my gosh, I'm so mad.

1:36:25 Adam All right, Kayla, you stick with ladies exclusively, okay, sweetie?

1:36:29 Caller Why?

1:36:30 Adam I don't want them jeans getting out, getting out of you.

1:36:32 Caller Hey, that's not true. I'm going to.

1:36:36 Adam Oh, sure you are. I one time, oh, you want to know what I did? What?

1:36:40 Drew What did you do?

1:36:42 Adam What did you do?

1:36:43 Drew What did you do?

1:36:44 Adam You did something? Why?

1:36:46 Drew You said you know what I did one time and then you stopped talking.

1:36:49 Adam What did you do then? Well, I just said, you know, one time I took, it was at night. I could tell it was at night because the sun had been replaced by that other orb that wasn't as bright and it was cooler. And I heard those bugs that make noise by rubbing their legs together. And those things that those bulbs that the city puts up, they call the hangover, the streets were lit up. And I took my stepdad's car and I drove it, but then I crashed it, but then I brought it back.

1:37:22 Caller And then, oh my God, I didn't tell him.

1:37:24 Adam And then he found out. And that's what I did. You want to know what else I did?

1:37:30 Drew What else did you do?

1:37:31 Adam What?

1:37:32 Drew What else did you do?

1:37:34 Adam I didn't do anything.

1:37:35 Caller What did you do?

1:37:37 Drew Well, I didn't really do anything.

1:37:38 Caller OK.

1:37:40 Drew Oh, my gosh.

1:37:41 Adam All right.

1:37:42 Adam Kayla, no kids. Come on, baby.

1:37:44 Caller OK.

1:37:45 Adam OK.

1:37:45 Adam What are you doing? You in high school?

1:37:49 Caller Well, I got my GD.,

1:37:50 Caller but I got really high scores. So I'm going to college.

1:37:53 Adam No doubt, baby.

1:37:55 Adam Harvard, Brown or Princeton?

1:37:57 Adam Yeah.

1:37:58 Adam Or maybe you should study abroad for a go to like Cambridge or something.

1:38:03 Drew There may be a technical school, Caltech.

1:38:05 Adam Oh, Caltech. How do you do in the engineering?

1:38:09 Caller What do you mean engineering?

1:38:11 Adam All right, it's okay. Let's just get a job.

1:38:14 Adam Get a job hostess.

1:38:15 Caller I already have a job.

1:38:17 Adam What do you do?

1:38:18 Caller I work.

1:38:19 Drew Oh, hold on a second. Slow down, slow down.

1:38:23 Adam That's enough.

1:38:24 Drew Slow down.

1:38:25 Caller No, I work at a fast food restaurant.

1:38:27 Adam OK, listen, this this girl, God bless you. You guys make a nice couple and have a nice relationship with her.

1:38:36 Adam But I would make sure and tell your dad first control.

1:38:40 Caller Yeah, if I'm going to have sex with guys, because I don't like the pill, because I like, I don't know, it makes you gain weight, it makes you moody. On them, you don't always feel anything like, I don't know, I don't like to use them. But I wonder what would be a good shot.

1:38:54 Caller People talk about it as a female.

1:38:56 Adam You couldn't experience it.

1:38:58 Drew Depo would be good for you. That'd be fine.

1:39:01 Caller Really?

1:39:01 Drew Perfect, yeah, perfect.

1:39:02 Guest What is it like?

1:39:03 Caller What does it do?

1:39:04 Caller I don't know, is it like birth control?

1:39:07 Adam Yes, it's like birth control.

1:39:08 Drew Except you don't gain the weight and have the fluid. You bleed for about three months, then you lose your period altogether.

1:39:13 Adam I got a shot in my arm, and it made me not be able to have babies. And then I started bleeding from my menstrual cycle, but then it like wouldn't stop, and I had to use one of those cotton things you put in you that absorbed the blood, that had the little string hanging off them. I'm not sure what they're called, but the thing that pushes them in you could be used as a telescope, if you were doing like a play about pirates.

1:39:41 Caller Oh.

1:39:42 Adam Okay, everyone. All I ask for is that no one gets pregnant. No pregnancy. No, no one get pregnant. And by the way, Canada and Mexico are looking much better to me.

1:39:51 Drew After tonight, yeah.

1:39:51 Adam I know I make fun of Mexico.

1:39:53 Drew Yeah, yeah, tonight.

1:39:53 Adam And I've had some words to say about Canada, but I'm ready to move. You ready to go?

1:39:57 Drew Yeah, let's go.

1:39:58 Adam You going with me?

1:39:58 Drew Tonight.

1:39:59 Adam Chris, I'm going to need you to hold down the fort here, buddy.

1:40:03 Drew All right.

1:40:03 Adam By the way, your hair is looking good.

1:40:04 Drew Oh, thanks, man.

1:40:05 Adam You put a little gel in there or something? Of course. Yeah, it's good. It's a windblown look.

1:40:09 Drew Nice.

1:40:10 Adam Instead of just the blown look.

1:40:11 Drew Right on.

1:40:12 Adam Normally it's like a guy finished his hair. Now it's actually windblown.

1:40:15 Adam Let's go to break.

1:40:16 Adam It's usually blown blown.

1:40:18 Caller All right, we'll take a quick break.

1:40:19 Caller We'll be right back after this.

1:40:43 Caller The one and only Live 105.

1:40:53 Adam Well, that's the show, y'all. Thanks for tuning in. We'll be back tomorrow night at about the same time. Until next time, it's Adam Kroll for Dr. Drew, saying mahalo.

1:41:06 Caller This has been Love Line. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, May 9, 2005