Episode 1000703327290

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:07 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:13 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:17 Voiceover With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:21 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew in Kansas tonight. Drew, you're like Matt Lauer. Where's Drew? Where's Drew this week? Where's Drew? I shouldn't even say you're in Kansas. We could have a little competition. Be great. Yeah. It's a new week. Where's Drew?

1:38 Where's Dr. Drew?

1:40 Voiceover 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew in Kansas tonight. Cause someone dropped a nickel. Brian Krause in studio tonight from Charmed. Charmed Sunday Nights, 8 o'clock WB, 150th episode just celebrated, 7th big season. Congratulations.

1:58 Thank you very much.

1:59 Adam Uh-oh. We're going to get to turn up the mic. Oh, thank you. Turn them up, please. There we go. Turn the mic up.

2:06 Is that better? Thank you. Hello.

2:08 Adam You know, I'll tell you the beauty of radio. Beauty of radio, it's like Groundhog's Day. Every single night we have a guest. Every single night, Engineer Anderson screams, turn up the guest. And every single night, Engineer Chris hears it like he's a newborn, like it's his first day on the planet. Oh, okay.

2:25 I'll pop that up.

2:26 Adam It's awesome. Yeah.

2:28 Not just Chris, Michelle does the same thing.

2:29 Adam Oh, Michelle does the same thing. Uh, I think her batting average is marginally better.

2:34 I'd say it's a little worse.

2:36 Adam Worse? You say, you say Engineer Michelle's batting average is worse than Chris? Because Chris's batting average is zero. So she's into the negative.

2:44 No, no, no. He had Titus up too hot last night, remember?

2:46 Adam Oh, wait. Oh, wait. That's right. That's a good point.

2:49 Drew That was just passive aggressive, though.

2:51 That's right.

2:52 Adam He did have Titus was up potted up too high last night.

2:55 Drew You know, speaking of Groundhog's Day, I've got a gentleman here that brought in a what's titled the all time great hits of Loveline from when he was in eighth grade.

3:05 Adam Wow. Wow. But he's only a ninth now, so it's no big deal, right?

3:09 Drew It's not a big deal. It isn't. No, he's like 20, 21.

3:13 Adam 21. He has the now when you're 21 eighth grade, it's like six years, seven years.

3:20 Drew What is eight years, eight years, 13, 12 or 13.

3:22 Adam Yeah, 13 years old, 13 or 14, 13 or 14 or 14. Right. OK, so seven, seven years or so. And yeah, did you listen to it?

3:32 Drew No, it's just sitting in front of me. I figured you'd want to hear it. I'll bring it home and bring it home.

3:37 Adam Here's the problem with the best of stuff. It sounds great until you hear it and it's not really that good. And then you get pissed off because you're like, that's not the best of, I'm better than that.

3:47 Drew Not eight years ago you weren't.

3:48 Adam It's the best of and you get to eat it insecure.

3:50 Drew Yeah, eight years ago, that's what you sounded like.

3:52 Adam Really? What did I sound like though? I haven't even heard it.

3:55 Drew Like hell, but that's beside the point. It's just, can you, what the hell, what were we doing eight years ago? What, you know what I mean? It's just like, I'm dying to hear this. Probably the same damn thing.

4:06 Adam Yeah, it's the same thing, Drew.

4:07 Drew You gotta tell yourself. Don't listen to it. You're right, yeah.

4:10 Adam All right, so Drew's in Kansas. Brian is in the studio tonight. Brian is a home builder. He used to be a home builder. He renovated his whole house, though, Drew. I could give him a little quiz.

4:23 Go.

4:25 Brian Krause Oh, God.

4:27 Adam I'm just going to get some pretty basic things. Start easy. Difference between a king stud and a trimmer.

4:34 Brian Krause A king stud and a trimmer. Gosh, was it framed in different directions?

4:39 Adam No, no. Now, the king stud is just one of the studs in the wall, and the trimmer is the one that goes lanced in the doorway, holds the header up.

4:47 Brian Krause Right. All right. Failed, failed.

4:49 Adam All right, all right. You want to finish question? Boring bit.

4:53 Brian Krause I'll try, I'll try it.

4:54 Adam Should I finish?

4:55 Brian Krause Sure.

4:57 Adam What is a, what is a coping joint?

5:00 Brian Krause A coping joint.

5:03 Adam Okay. What is, okay, let's see.

5:05 Brian Krause I got it.

5:06 Adam What is the difference between casing and baseboard?

5:11 Brian Krause Casing and baseboard, they go size difference?

5:15 Adam No, no.

5:16 Brian Krause Gosh, I'm horrible. I go, I buy, I'm a Home Depot guy.

5:19 Adam Ask yourself, ask yourself a question. Give yourself one, okay? Give me a topic. What's your topic? Kitchen, bathroom, flooring.

5:29 Drew You're making Brian nervous, Adam.

5:30 He's having a bad day. Yeah, all right, all right, all right.

5:33 Adam I'm gonna think of a good one. The stuff you put on drywall on the joints.

5:41 Brian Krause The compound, drywall compound.

5:43 Adam Joint compound. The answer was right in the question.

5:46 All right, let's see.

5:48 Adam The point is he looks great with his shirt off when he's working on that house. That's my point. Brian Krause here. Let's see. Who do you work with? Rose McGowan?

5:57 Brian Krause Rose McGowan.

5:58 Adam Still nuts?

6:00 Brian Krause Still nuts. Still fun. Yeah.

6:02 Adam But like she got mad at me for calling her nuts once or maybe more than once. Maybe this will be twice. But she's like nuts but not not like I'm gonna stab you with a crocheting needle nuts. Like Kookie.

6:14 Brian Krause Kookie. She's David Arquette.

6:16 Drew David Arquette nuts.

6:18 Adam David. She's she's she's David Arquette with boobs.

6:24 Drew Tell Brian the story about David Arquette. We haven't we haven't brought that story to life in a long time.

6:28 Adam Yeah. And by the way, Rose McGowan called in and yelled at me for calling her nuts once as well. One time we're sitting here. I don't know who were we. I don't know who. Oh, yeah. Here's how here's how it went. I was saying to Drew, there's a lot of nutty actors out there. You know, you got your Gary Busey's and you got your Mickey Rourke's and you got these people. And the list goes on and on where the people seem legitimately nuts. How is it they memorize their part in a script, show up and deliver their lines when it doesn't seem like they can dial the phone or find their car keys? How do how do they do it? And I think Drew or myself may have used that. David Arquette is an example.

7:10 Drew Well, but we also we pointed out how much we love him. And he's a special kind of nut.

7:14 Adam We didn't we didn't overdo it on the night. Little bit true. Not really. Not really. It wasn't a full blown. It wasn't it wasn't a kick in the nuts, but it was it was like a it was a hard towel snap in the ass cheek. It was a full blown knee in the nuts, though. But we're talking about nutty actors. And David Arquette's name came to the top of the list. I said, well, the guy's nutty. And I don't know how he plays a small town sheriff when it seems like he's clinically insane, you know, you think he would just eat the script when he gave it to him. And Drew said, hey, watch what you say. You don't want to anger the guy. I said, do we like him? I said, no, I said, what? Who cares? He couldn't even find the studio. I mean, he doesn't know what he is. He's on Mr. Toad's wild ride. He doesn't know where he is. Like he's doing one of these things like an Oliver Stone movie where he's looking out the car windshield. That's just a kaleidoscope. He doesn't know where he's going. We took a call and not five minutes, but less than three minutes. Somebody came barging through the studio door was David Arquette.

8:17 Drew Screaming, screaming.

8:18 Adam Not supposed to be on the show that night or anything. I hadn't seen him in over a year. He just walked, just like someone just walked right through that studio door like we just summoned him. Like it was Dr. Bombay or something and bewitched.

8:32 Drew Yelling about who do you think is crazy now?

8:34 Adam Who's nuts now? Can't find the studio? I was like, oh my God, how did this happen? What happened? And he said he was driving home from a Laker game and actually was being driven home from a Laker game, had like a town car or something. And he was just going down the 10 freeway and he was right, you know, even with the Loveline, heard me calling him nuts, told the driver to get right off the freeway. And was probably walking through the parking lot while I was still talking about how nuts he was. He just walked right through the door. And I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, David R. Kett, everybody, yeah. So next time we're going to call Brad pit nuts and see if we can't get him in the studio. Yeah. So you got to be careful with shade. But Rose McGowan, hot, hot, solid C cup, C D cup, C D, maybe D, got a clef in her chin. Works on a chick. You know, they don't they don't they don't focus enough on the chin clef on chicks, Drew. They talk about it with guys and it works.

9:34 Drew Right. Right.

9:35 Adam You know, it's kind of George Clooney, you know, Magnum PI kind of vibe, you know, the clef works. But on a chick, it works, too. That little does a little taco holder right in there. It's nice. All right. So and is Charmed ever going to ever see it coming to an end? Do you care? Do you want to just ride as long as you can?

9:56 Brian Krause Yeah, ride it as long as I can. I think the fans still appreciate the show. It'd be nice to go out on a full season, kind of bring it to a huge finale, as opposed to just have it go away.

10:09 Adam Well, is it there's no plans of it going away?

10:12 Brian Krause Yeah, I haven't heard anything. So we're still filming. We just finished the last episode of our seventh season. So we're kind of waiting to hear as to whether or not we're going to come back next year.

10:23 Adam So it's sort of like shooting a movie every week or every other week.

10:27 Brian Krause Every eight days, yeah.

10:27 Adam Every eight days. And what's a normal... And I guess some scripts you're more involved with than others. So some weeks are lighter than others, right?

10:35 Brian Krause Sure.

10:36 Adam But what is a normal week like for you when you're shooting?

10:39 Brian Krause If I'm in the script heavy, then perhaps three, four, five days a week, anywhere from 12 to 14 hours a day.

10:46 Adam Yeah. And you always got to get there early. And you always got to hang out. And you always got to sit.

10:52 Brian Krause Drink a lot of coffee.

10:54 Adam And they always do that. Yeah. We're going to need you, your first shots at 8 a.m. We're going to need you in hair and makeup at 4:30 a.m. There you go. And you're like, what's up? And they're like, no, we just, they really want to keep an eye on you. They do. They like to. They should really just put one of those chips in you. If you get a series, a long running series, just put one of those chips in you that they just put, you put in your pet. They just know where you are.

11:17 Brian Krause They need to know where you are.

11:18 Adam Scrape you out of the barn, dry again. And also, here's my other thing with that. You should have, it should be based on your priors in your record. Like, you know, if you're in the Wu-Tang Clan, you get a two hour call time because we got to sober you up. We got to find you. We got to wash the hooker off you. We got to clean you up. But if you're Dr. Drew, you only need 15 minutes.

11:41 Brian Krause Straight in.

11:41 Adam You tell Dr. Drew, look, we're taping at eight. We need you there at 730. He's there. He's there at 725. He wants to know why he's not in makeup yet at 725. But they make the call time for 530 for everyone because everyone's on Wu-Tang time.

11:58 Brian Krause Right. It's true.

12:00 Adam They just take the worst. It's like, but this is how everything is. This is security at the airport. This is schools. This is testing. This is everything.

12:08 Drew Everything is geared to the most truant, the worst case.

12:11 Adam Right. We take the biggest F up in society and he becomes the standard. He's the gold standard. It's like, you'll be drinking your beer out of a plastic batting helmet at Dodger Stadium because some a-hole threw a beer bottle out on the field six years ago and now therefore, you will not be drinking a beer out of a nice frosty glass bottle like an adult. You'll be drinking it out of your shoe with the rest of the idiots because one drunk and a-hole chucked a bottle and that's the way it goes. That's the standard. What is the lowest? What is the worst society has to offer? That becomes the going standard. Right.

12:48 Drew That's what we anticipate.

12:49 Adam What is that? And by the way...

12:51 Drew Well, Adam, it's a slippery slope to accept anything less.

12:53 Adam Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, attorneys. Shouldn't we, as a society, instead of focusing on getting everywhere two hours early and putting everything into a styrofoam cup, how about we focus on kicking the ass out of the guy who got us into this mess in the first place?

13:11 Drew Yes.

13:12 Adam Isn't that what we need to focus on?

13:13 Drew Absolutely.

13:14 Brian Krause I believe so.

13:15 Adam It is so, it is just so pathetic. Like, you know, there's nothing worse than like when you got the beer bottle and you're like in the club or something, you're walking out to the other part and the guy makes you pour it in the styrofoam cup. Because like, what? What do you think I'm going to do? Attack? What do you think I'm going to do? Like, put this in the side of a bum or bust it over a pimp's head or what do you think I'm going to do? Like, as soon as I get outside with the beer bottle, Dr. Drew's going to bust it on the side of the wall and go, come on, who wants some? Give me your wallet. Give me your wallet? Like, it's a scene from A Rebel Without A Cause. Like, I'll cut you.

13:49 You start swinging it around.

13:52 Adam But Drew has a twist. He yells, I'll cut you. And then he goes, and then I'll fix you. And then I'll go, I'll cut you again. But I could fix you, you know. It's very passive aggressive. All right. I just, Drew, am I right or am I right?

14:04 Drew You are all, of course.

14:06 Adam No. You're up. They let you do stuff. You get a beer bottle, you get a cigarette, you get to do. And then if you screw up with your beer bottle, they throw you out.

14:15 Drew Yeah, you're responsible.

14:17 Adam I mean, really, everybody think about this as an adult. You have to, you know, when you walk from one place to the next, you have to transfer the beer out of the bottle into a Styrofoam cup. So awesome because somebody got sued 100 years ago. All right. Let's keep going here. What are we doing, Drew? All right. I'm going to take some calls. There we go. Brian, what do you like? Who's speaking to you here? You see chemical effects of a brain person with an eating disorder. Well, that's interesting. What? Mm hmm. Yeah. Carrie.

14:48 Caller Hello.

14:49 Adam You have a eating disorder?

14:50 Caller Unfortunately. What's up, Vicka?

14:52 Adam What's up? Yeah. I'm the Vicka of Christ. My new title.

14:55 Drew What's up, Vicka?

14:59 Adam So what's up? You have a eating disorder and you want to know how it affects your brain?

15:03 Yeah. I read your book, Dr. Drew. And it's very, very wonderful. I shared it with my eating disorder group. I go to Eating Disorders Anonymous and my shrink, she wants to treat it like an addiction concept, which makes sense considering it's been all my life. And I can't.

15:19 Drew Absolutely. It's a great way to deal with it.

15:21 So like we were talking about it in group today and we want to know like how it switches the brain on. And like if it's a different kind of addiction and then say chemical or drug or whatever, if the switch can be unswitched.

15:38 Drew You know, you're asking a question. I'm not an expert in eating disorders but my understanding is that if you have a genetic heritage for addiction, the opioid release, the endogenous morphine relief from vomiting and purging can very much activate the addictive process. So you have it?

15:58 Oh, bing, bing, bing, bing.

15:59 Adam Yeah, so you mean you get, you get a-

16:01 Here, let me hand you the door prize for rightness.

16:03 Adam You get a rush from throwing up?

16:05 And the empty feeling afterwards is the calm.

16:08 Drew Right, right. And so it is very, will you cut her too?

16:12 Oh, yeah.

16:12 Drew Yeah, so that all got-

16:13 I go back and forth between all of them. I haven't cut since like last summer so I'm doing really good.

16:19 Drew But that all kind of goes together.

16:21 Adam Most people do feel better after a good chuck though, I gotta say.

16:24 But it's usually just, you know, the bedspinning. It just flew recently and it was like the worst because there's no control there.

16:29 Drew Right, you have to vomit.

16:30 It was so horrible.

16:31 There was no like, no relief. In fact, it just left me feeling worse.

16:36 Adam All right. Well, how are you doing now? What do you do? Do you put together days without heaving?

16:41 You know what? I try to. I try to be really good. Like tonight when I came home from the group, like I feel, oh, I'm going to be good. I'm going to be good. And like I went to get dinner and I got like the diet soda so I could only have like a small portion. And I could have the full filling and those are the good days. And the bad days are when I'm in like the bathroom stall at my accounting job and I'm yammy.

17:01 Drew Yammy?

17:02 Adam Yeah, I guess that's throwing up. What do you do? Do you binge? Do you binge or you just throw up? What do you, what's like, what's a big binge for you?

17:11 How humiliating. All of the horrible stuff you could possibly think of, like, you know, any sort of sweet thing that's easy to come up and in like bright colored ordered so that I know how far I'm into it and soda for propellant. Oh, really?

17:27 Adam Nice, nice.

17:27 So you, or ice cream to make it go up. There are just all of the pathetic tricks.

17:31 Adam Do you start? I never heard any of these, these vomiting tricks.

17:35 Yeah, most people say over the air.

17:37 Drew Well, well, maybe they keep them to themselves. They sort of, they're so ashamed of it, they don't share them. So that's a good thing to talk about.

17:42 Okay. There's a whole group of people that will share. And like, I have a good friend who's, who's also got the same problem. And like, we get together and some days we're like good little angels and we're like, we're going to eat. And this is good for us. And so it's okay because we're together. And then we'll have other days where like, we mysteriously avoid each other, even though we know darn well what we're doing, or we'll get together and we'll be like, ha ha ha, that's so funny.

18:04 Drew Well, there's a subtle, let me just finish. There's a subtle glamorizing you're doing there. Well, I know, just get started. She's a little bit, you know, I understand that you're sort of-

18:13 Adam She has a little diarrhea in the mouth too, I got to tell you too.

18:15 Drew Nice. But you're sort of glamorizing the behaviors and the activity. And I know you're telling us how awful they are and you feel ashamed of them on some level, but there's a subtle glamorization. And listen, here's what you're going to be struggling with. And that's the whole process of capitulation, giving up to the powerlessness over this process. And just like an addiction, that is a key step. You have to really believe this thing is going to kill you or you're going to keep flirting with it.

18:40 Adam All right, let me hold on, Carrie, quiet, quiet. I got to ask a couple of questions and I'm letting you go.

18:46 Okay.

18:47 Adam The propellant, the soda propellant, that goes down first or that goes down last?

18:52 Throughout.

18:53 Adam Oh, throughout, so take a bite, take a sip.

18:56 Make sure it's all wet.

18:57 Adam Uh-huh, and then you say sort of in order of color.

19:02 Well, like a bright color thing for the beginning.

19:04 See, like, you know, So you know when there's no more?

19:07 So like, say it's orange and you can tell that you're at the end.

19:10 Adam Mm-hmm, I see.

19:11 If you've been doing it for as long as I have, you just keep going until you see yellow.

19:15 Adam Oh, it's like the Skittles rainbow comes out of you. Hi, baby, you hot? You sound hot.

19:21 Oh, you're sweet, but no, but I am gay. Does that help?

19:24 Cool, cool.

19:27 Adam I got another theory with the eating disorder chicks. Do you guys worry about your breath and therefore could we get more oral and less making out? You know what I mean? I know you're a lesbian, but you know what I'm saying?

19:40 Right, I know. You can actually tell when you go into a bathroom who's there and who's not because they've got like the ritual with all of like the tools in the purse.

19:52 Adam Oh, really? What's in the purse?

19:53 Drew What tools?

19:55 Well, it's like all the breast fresheners, the reapplying of the makeup, the toothbrush, the mouthwash.

20:06 Adam Ah, so you could size somebody up, you could see their physical build, you could look in their purse and figure out where they had an eating disorder or not, right?

20:16 Not necessarily, but there are certain signs, like some people don't use their fingers, some people do, and then you can see like little red marks on your knuckles.

20:24 Drew Right, the callus at the knuckles.

20:26 Adam Really?

20:27 Drew Yeah.

20:27 Adam Wow. I thought that was from Strum and the Banjo.

20:33 Drew It's on the other side.

20:34 Adam Oh, it's the inside.

20:36 Drew Yeah.

20:36 Yeah. Yeah.

20:37 Adam That's right. See, I'm so naïve. That's a thing, Drew. I'm like a newborn.

20:42 Drew You really.

20:42 Adam Wow.

20:43 Drew Really. Naïve is the word that comes jumps to mind when I think of you. Yes.

20:46 Can you put Carrie back up for a second?

20:48 Adam All right. What do you need to talk to Carrie for?

20:50 Drew Are you a Mormon?

20:52 Oh, God. Totally not Mormon.

20:54 Adam All right. Drew, just for people listening, because I know the show is confusing, it turned to a big inside joke. Anderson has a drop, as we call it in the radio business, have played again.

21:08 Drew Are you a Mormon?

21:09 Adam Here's how we'll do it. Drew? Yes? You hum the Pledge of Allegiance.

21:15 Drew Okay.

21:15 Adam And Anderson, you drop the Mormon thing.

21:18 Drew Are you a Mormon?

21:19 Caller That's G14.

21:21 That doesn't fall into play.

21:24 Drew Are you Mormon?

21:26 Adam All right.

21:26 Drew Oh, my.

21:28 Adam Why is it not? Simple instructions, right? Drew, you're supposed to hum. He's supposed to drop the Mormon in there.

21:35 Drew Yeah, yeah.

21:36 I drop them. All right.

21:37 Adam But no, you're going to do a few of them, right?

21:40 Oh, you wanted even more of them.

21:42 Adam Well, even more than one? Yeah.

21:44 Just drop. Mormon's on his own bank. That's why it's different.

21:46 Adam Oh, it takes a while to queue up?

21:48 Kind of, yeah.

21:49 Adam All right.

21:49 I'm good, though.

21:51 Adam Oh, you want to do it? Okay, Drew? You know what? Why don't you hum Let's Hear It for the Boy?

21:56 Drew Battle Hum of the Public.

21:57 Adam Okay, do Battle Hum of the Republic. There you go.

22:00 Drew Let's see. How's it go? I'll take...

22:05 Adam Do North to Alaska.

22:07 Drew Oh, no.

22:08 Adam Do an 1814, we took a little trip along Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip. Do that one. But get into it, Drew.

22:17 Drew But it'll be a little louder. Nothing's safe but eight penis. He wants to groom this child for his, you know, abuse farm. Well, I'm having anal sex. I've had anal sex. Anything can go in your ass. I just, you just got to relax. Oh my God.

22:31 Adam God damn it, you bitch. I didn't know he had all that.

22:37 Drew I'm a rapist.

22:38 Adam All right, hold on, Drew. That was Drew.

22:40 Drew No.

22:40 Adam Drew, quiet. Weren't you going to play the Are You a Mormon While He Hums?

22:44 I started the Mormon one. I started off with that. You were talking, so you missed it.

22:49 Adam No, I heard it.

22:50 Brian Krause What?

22:50 No, I'm confused.

22:52 Adam Are we capable of playing the Are You Mormon in succession?

22:59 Brian Krause Can we do it repeatedly?

23:00 Oh, I see. You want the Mormon on a loop.

23:04 Brian Krause Yeah.

23:05 Adam I just want to. I want like five of them while Drew is humming.

23:08 I thought you wanted five drops.

23:09 Drew He wants to prove that it's not me saying it, see?

23:12 Got you.

23:14 Adam Yeah. If we worked all this out in advance, his show would be 20 minutes long every night. But funny. All right, Drew, I'm going to need you to get into this humming now. I can barely hear you. Anderson's got you on the other blower. Let's do this right.

23:28 Drew You ready? You Mormon? You Mormon? You Mormon? You Mormon? You Mormon? You Mormon?

23:35 Adam All right. See? That was good. That was excellent. Fantastic.

23:40 Drew All right. Brian, you still there?

23:42 Adam Yeah.

23:43 Drew I haven't left yet.

23:44 Adam Now, here's the point. Engineer Anderson has never been more enamored with himself than this Are You a Mormon drop that he plays with Drew.

23:53 Caller No, it's just funny.

23:54 Adam I know. Listen, you're proud. It's like your child in Little League to just hit a home run every time.

24:00 Caller This is my favorite one. I love this one.

24:01 Adam You can't articulate yourself any better than that.

24:05 Drew That one doesn't get a response. Are You a Mormon every time, no matter how bizarre the context, they respond to it.

24:11 Adam When did you add Rapier? His batting average on this is almost 1,000 percent every time. Now, anytime someone calls from Utah, Anderson drops in the, are you Mormon? And they will respond even though Drew never says it. So, you know, here's the point. We have to make our own fun around here. That's what I'm saying. All right. Let's see. Andy got a DUI. I know we got to go to break. Let's just talk to.

24:38 Drew Hey, by the way, a little quick thing. I'm looking for people with anxiety, sex anxiety, couples who need assistance. We have a sex expert that's going to coach people that want to come in on the air and go through a little counseling.

24:49 Adam Drew, get a website. Come on, buddy. Yeah. Sabrina. Oh, when are you going to tape these shows? Are you taping them?

24:57 Drew A lot of stuff's being done in the field. But yeah, taping, we'll be all done like in a month. But taping is the last week in April, first week in May. The actual.

25:07 Adam What are you doing with all these these people you're pimpin it for?

25:11 Drew Different field pieces, different topics.

25:13 Adam Field pieces?

25:14 Drew Yeah, some of it are rolled in, produced pieces, a lot of them.

25:20 Adam It's so annoying.

25:21 Caller We clear clear something up real quick. You were talking about my drops and whatnot, and then you said Andy has a DUI and it made it sound like you were talking about me. He also has a DUI.

25:29 Adam Oh, Andy? No, yeah. No, no.

25:30 Caller Thank you, my friend.

25:31 Adam No, Anderson has several DUIs, not just one.

25:33 Drew Yeah, not a recent one, though. Not a recent one.

25:35 Adam You can chip away at your record.

25:37 Drew He wouldn't be here tonight if he had a recent one. He'd be in jail for years.

25:40 Adam Sure. Sabrina?

25:42 Drew There's mandatory sentencing, you know. Hello?

25:44 Adam Seventeen?

25:45 Yeah. Hi.

25:46 Adam What's happening? Your boyfriend is the manager of a strip club?

25:50 Yeah.

25:52 Adam And you think he's cheating? How old is he?

25:54 He's 19.

25:56 Drew Manager.

25:57 Brian Krause And a manager.

25:58 Yeah. He's kind of up there. He started hanging around there when he was kind of young. His dad used to run it.

26:06 Brian Krause Sounded like a family.

26:06 Adam Big deal. Yeah. His dad ran the place. Yeah. So, you know, he started 14, like, wrangling pasties, and you work your way up to Soda Jerk, and the next thing you know, you're running the joint.

26:19 Drew I can just imagine being a child actor is troublesome. Imagine what this says to a kid.

26:24 Adam Does he have some of those crazy nationalities that we need to know about?

26:29 No. He's just Mexican, and I think he's part white.

26:33 Adam No. All right. And he works, is it all nude, or is it topless?

26:38 Oh, just topless. I wouldn't let him work if he was all nude.

26:41 Adam How dare you.

26:42 Drew How dare you, Adam. Oh, my goodness.

26:43 Adam Delicate sensibilities. Interesting. All right. And he's 19, and you're 17.

26:49 Caller Yeah.

26:50 Adam All right. And I don't know, it's 17. Don't you just want some guys going to college with like a sweater with a letter on it or something?

26:58 Caller He is going to college.

26:59 Adam Junior college.

27:02 Drew Yes.

27:02 Adam That ain't college, everybody. How many times I got to tell you it has the word college in it. So does barber college. It's not college. Jesus Christ.

27:12 Drew Yeah. OK.

27:12 Adam He's going to go first off. He's going to junior college for the rest of his goddamn life. You know, you don't you don't get out. It's it's a vortex. It's it's a piece of nobody.

27:22 Drew If there is a way out, managing a strip club is probably in there. You know what I'm saying?

27:27 Adam Why? Why does he he will get out of junior college? Why doesn't he just take over the family business?

27:32 Caller Oh, because I kind of forced him to go to junior college.

27:36 Adam Right.

27:36 Caller I just want him because he's kind of ditzy. He's blonde.

27:41 Adam Let me let me tell you something. You know how they say hold on a second because we got to take a break. You know, they say they send these kids to prison and they learn how to be criminals. They take these young, you know, 18, 19 year old offenders. They put them in with hardcore repeat offenders and they teach them how to be criminals. Junior college, same thing. They teach you how to be stupid. You're marginally, you're just slow when you go into junior college. By the time you hang out with those hessiers for a few semesters, you're now actually borderline retarded. That's how it goes. They teach you. You're not going to get smart in junior college. You're just going to learn how to score weed and kick a hacky sack around. How dare everyone. All right.

28:17 Drew Let's go to break man.

28:17 Adam If anyone could show me a success story from junior college that wasn't in the nursing program and not from some strange Asian country, I will admit I'm wrong.

28:26 Drew Huh?

28:27 Caller All right.

28:27 Drew Oh, Chris, that's a success story.

28:29 Adam Yeah, it's 30th birthday is coming up. He's still in junior college. He's got one math class.

28:34 Caller I'd rather manage a strip club.

28:35 Adam Yeah, that's what I'm saying. All right. Let me say this too, Drew. Whenever you hear about these success stories, it's always guy dropped out of high school or he graduated from Harvard. Show me the junior college success story. Uh-huh. Brian?

28:51 Brian Krause I went to junior college. Yeah, I dropped out.

28:54 Adam You never graduated.

28:55 Brian Krause I didn't.

28:56 Adam It was a waste of time for you.

28:57 Brian Krause It was, it was.

28:59 Adam Should have got an acting and home building earlier. We'll take ourselves a little break. Brian Krause here tonight from Charmed and we'll be right back after this.

29:14 Loveline is brought to you by the May Issue of Playboy. You're forgiven if you miss the enlightening 05 baseball preview in this month's Playboy. After all, it could easily be October by the time you stop staring at the real Desperate Housewives pictorial.

29:34 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew in Kansas tonight. Brian Krause here tonight from Charms. Sunday nights, eight o'clock, WB. Seven big seasons. And tomorrow night, Jerry, oh no, I mean Charlie O'Connell is gonna be in here. And he's, of course, the new Bachelor. I kinda like the new Bachelor. I don't, it's uncomfortable to watch, but he's good, isn't it? So we'll talk to him tomorrow night. All right, when we left off, we were speaking to Sabrina. Sabrina's 17.

30:06 Drew Before we go to Sabrina, can I just say, Adam, I'm sitting here with these Kansas State students.

30:11 Adam Yeah, go Jayhawks.

30:13 Caller Oh.

30:16 Adam Go, go snapping turtles. What the hell are they again? The Pumas?

30:21 Drew Wildcats.

30:22 Adam Wildcats.

30:23 Drew There you go.

30:23 Adam Yeah, go Wildcats. How come there's no pandas? Go giant pandas.

30:28 Drew You brought that up last night.

30:30 Adam No, but there's no team with a panda.

30:32 Drew There's no raccoon either. It's the same family.

30:35 Brian Krause Is there a possum?

30:36 Adam There's probably no possums. I wouldn't mind the pandas on the side of the helmet.

30:42 Drew But it's interesting when you have people that have listened to the show before they walk you down memory lane. You remember this, remember that. And talking about drops, they brought up their favorite drops and they like minka. Don't play tennis no more.

30:54 Adam Oh yeah.

30:56 Caller Don't play tennis no more.

30:58 Adam She's the number one Asian big boob queen.

31:00 Caller Number one.

31:02 Adam Yeah.

31:03 Caller Yeah.

31:03 Adam Number one.

31:04 Caller Who is number one?

31:05 Adam Minka. Minka's number one.

31:07 Caller Number one Asian big boob queen.

31:11 Adam Yeah. She's hot. Met her in a strip club in Vegas.

31:15 Drew And then David Algreer and his experience, you know, how he...

31:20 Adam With the ladies?

31:21 Drew With the ladies, yeah.

31:24 Adam Dave making love.

31:40 Drew That never gets old.

31:43 That's what it sounds like.

31:45 Drew Oh, he slept next to me on the plane last week. That's him.

31:50 Adam He just beats the crap out of his bitch and then pow, he's out. Awesome. We shouldn't be laughing, Drew.

31:59 Drew No, no.

32:00 Adam We should not be laughing.

32:01 Drew He's a bad man.

32:02 Adam That's somebody's daughter he's on.

32:04 Drew Oh my God. Don't do that to me.

32:08 Adam All right, all right. Is there another, is there another favorite drop? I would like the show to just be, just all drops at this point. It's like built up enough. Throw it to commercial break, that kind of thing.

32:21 Drew They like you raping, you raping Andy Dick was one that's rated highly.

32:25 Adam Oh, Anderson, you have that one anywhere?

32:29 Drew Well, that's a hard one.

32:30 Caller Yeah, that's a tough one.

32:32 Drew What else?

32:32 Adam That's an old one. The rape of Andy Dick. Yeah.

32:36 Drew Oh, they also, they also want to-

32:38 Adam Oh, there is.

32:41 Drew They're also interested in your sharing with Brian your expertise at receiving oral sex. So I was at the college tonight and somebody actually asked that, what does Adam look like when he receives oral sex?

32:54 Adam Well, let me say this.

32:55 Drew And of course, I could not do it justice. I could not even attempt to show that.

32:59 Adam Listen to this show knows I don't, I don't brag. And by the way, it's not bragging if you can back it up. A lot of guys talk pretty good game about the kind of pleasure they can bring to a woman. That's not my game. My game is receiving. I'm not going to tell you I'm the best at giving oral because the competition is stiff and frankly, the motivation factor is just not there for me. But in terms of receiving, nobody receives oral like the Ace man. Am I right, Chris?

33:27 Drew Motivation's there.

33:28 Adam Am I right? Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. I mean, and it's just, I don't know, it's part of it's a mindset, part of it's posture. Some of it's just God given, you know. Some people just have gifts. Some people have musical gifts. God gave me the gift to receive oral. Whatever it is, I don't know, maybe my dad was a pretty good oral receiver. Possibly his father before him. Maybe it's in the blood. Nature or nurture, I don't know. But the point is, is I can receive oral like no one's business. I know what the ladies like. They like giving me oral.

33:58 Brian Krause That's right.

33:59 Adam And I don't want to give away too many of my secrets. My posture is basically, you know, I kind of.

34:03 Drew Oh, give them the whole thing.

34:05 Brian Krause Savoring.

34:06 Adam Yeah, I just, you know, I don't hold.

34:08 Caller Brian, behold.

34:09 Adam I don't know what we're doing. I just kind of. And you know what? So I toss in a oh, yeah, you know, I don't know. Yeah. But, you know, I don't get, you know, I don't get too manic about it. I don't like punch anyone in the skull or, you know, or start screaming like David Alan Greer or Andy Dick. It's more laid back. I can't really describe it. You have to be there.

34:29 Drew You have to be hold.

34:30 Adam You have to be hold. Yeah. And then run. Let's let's let's finish off with Samantha.

34:36 Drew Now, Samantha.

34:37 Adam Sabrina. Sabrina is a big part. Sabrina. All right. Seventeen boyfriend manages a strip club, also attends junior college. And you're you're not jealous of him working at the strip club?

34:51 Caller No, I just see it as a job.

35:02 Well, Sabrina, stage eight, stage eight.

35:09 Adam Could we get those guys to shut up when we're at the strip club?

35:12 The stage.

35:12 Brian Krause Yeah.

35:13 Adam Yeah.

35:14 Brian Krause It's a two for one tonight.

35:15 Brian Krause Two for one. Asian businessman's lunch.

35:19 Come on, all the kimchi you can eat from noon to four o'clock. Come on down.

35:26 Adam Could you grin and drop you in? Shannon, stage four, stage four, there's part of it is like part part air traffic controller, part carnival barker, part pimp. You know, they're taking care of a little business, too. There's like a change. Stage seven, let me look at change. There's a Ford Impala in the parking lot, has his parking lights on. Yeah, Turcos coming to stage.

35:50 Brian Krause She's hot, fellas. Sure, you appreciate it.

35:53 Adam Yeah, it's like they're like calling, like, Matt Manuel, we got to be a bathroom. We got one of the blow the fart fans out and the men's latrine near the front door. Welcome to stage, Candice. Shouldn't they have another guy in charge of sort of the nuts and bolts and let the one guy focus on, you know, souping up the crowd for the chicks? He's, it's funny, he tries to do, they try to be a little sultry about it too when they're doing it like, Shelly, left your tampon box on stage night, you get that out?

36:27 Brian Krause Yeah, so you appreciate it.

36:30 Adam Big fat guy with his chin carved in with the beard and the ponytail and the leather fanny pack. Offer the chicks coke. All right, where are we? Sabrina.

36:39 Drew Sabrina, so what did you call about? I've lost track of this.

36:42 Caller Oh, well, I suspect that he's cheating on me.

36:46 Drew So you don't like that he's in the strip club?

36:48 Caller No, it's not the fact that he's in the strip club. It's just I think that the girls are having a kind of their fault.

36:56 Drew It's the women's fault. Adam, this is your woman here. Sabrina is your woman.

36:59 Adam Love it. It's really it's the domain. And you know what I love about this woman? It transcends all gender barriers. There's white trash. It's into this. There's a Latina chicks, the black chicks. There's a certain breed in every culture that goes after the chick and not after the guy.

37:16 Oh, no, you didn't.

37:17 Adam Except for Jews. Jews don't do it. No Jewish woman in the world will go after the chick and not go after the dude. They go right for the dude's nutsack. But but Sabrina is one of these ones that gets mad at the chick and not at her man, which is awesome. Keep it up, baby.

37:33 Brian Krause Yes, I will.

37:35 Adam All right. So why do you think he's cheating?

37:39 Caller Well, because I find all these like anonymous numbers of girls that I don't know in his pocket and you know, just basic stuff like that. But then when I confront him about it, it's like, oh, the new girls that I'm checking out to hire for the club.

37:51 Brian Krause And how long have you been together?

37:54 Caller About three years.

37:55 Brian Krause Three years.

37:56 Brian Krause Yeah.

37:57 Brian Krause All right.

37:57 Adam That's enough.

37:59 Caller Oh, really?

38:00 Drew Time for a new boyfriend.

38:01 Caller Oh, can I ask you a question?

38:03 Drew Yeah.

38:04 Caller Do you think I have a girly voice?

38:06 Drew No.

38:07 Caller No, I don't.

38:08 Drew You mean a little girly voice?

38:09 Adam It's a chick.

38:10 Caller It's a dude.

38:10 Brian Krause It's a dude.

38:12 What's up?

38:13 Brian Krause Wow.

38:13 Adam That's awesome.

38:14 What's up, Drew?

38:16 Adam Yeah.

38:16 Drew Well done. Well done.

38:17 Adam Switch back and forth.

38:19 Caller Hi, Sabrina and Arturo.

38:23 Wow.

38:25 Adam I still have a boy.

38:26 Brian Krause Oh, dude, that's gross.

38:28 Adam More of a butter, dude. Yeah, it got bigger. Got up to five.

38:34 Brian Krause Well.

38:35 Adam All right. I'll tell you what I want you to do. Is this Arturo, did you say? Yeah. OK. We're going to take a commercial break.

38:43 Caller All right.

38:44 Adam How about you just do that? You do like, hi, this is Sabrina and Arturo. We'll be back with more Love Line after this. And then Chris will throw out your break.

38:54 Caller All right.

38:54 Adam All right. Go ahead.

38:57 Caller Wait, what?

38:58 Adam Yeah. So you throw it to commercial break using both voices. Both voices.

39:03 Drew Back and forth.

39:04 Adam Back and forth. Good. Yeah.

39:05 Drew Identifying them.

39:07 Caller Hi, this is Sabrina and this is Arturo. And you're listening to Love Line. And now we're going to commercial break. Bye.

39:13 Brian Krause All right. Hello. What is it?

39:17 Caller This is Love Line.

39:19 1-800-LOVE-191. Love Line will be right back.

39:26 Adam Hey, everybody.

39:27 Love Line.

39:27 Adam I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew in Kansas tonight. Go water bison. Brian Krause here tonight from Charmed. Sunday night's 8 o'clock on the www, www, WB. Let's get to the phones.

39:44 Drew You know what? That last call has got to be one of the most taken in we've ever been by a call.

39:51 Adam Yeah.

39:52 Drew To be as bogus as it was, we were completely in.

39:55 Adam Absolutely.

39:56 Drew Yeah.

39:56 Adam And well, our hats off to you, Arturo, your worthy opponent. We normally, here's the thing. Here's our thing with bogus calls. We usually can sniff them out. But once in a while you beat us and God bless you. And here's the thing, if you're creative and you're interesting, more power to you. Keep them coming. I have no problem with that. Stacey? Stacey, you're 23.

40:25 Caller Yeah, actually I called you guys. It's been several months, maybe about six months or so ago. And I was in love with my ex's brother. And my ex tried to kill himself when we broke up.

40:43 Adam Oh yeah, I remember that. Yeah, that's right.

40:46 Caller I want to give you guys an update because Dr. Drew was saying, don't pursue the relationship with the brother. And you were saying in the end that you thought it would be OK.

40:57 Adam Well, OK, that was me.

41:01 Caller Well, the brother moved out of the house with his family and kind of moved into the part of town that I moved to and even told his brother that he had feelings for me. But I want to let you know that even though I felt I was in love with him, I never let anything happen. Good. It really took a lot for me. I still had a lot of feelings for him.

41:24 Adam But well, how about now? Is it has it been long enough?

41:29 Caller I mean, I don't think my feelings will ever go away. But I know.

41:33 Adam But why? Here's the thing. You I don't know, isn't this acceptable as you become adults to stop dating somebody and date a sibling after a certain amount of time? Isn't it possible?

41:44 Drew Yeah, but there's a lot of craziness in this one.

41:46 Caller There was a suicide attempt. Yeah.

41:49 Adam But how is he doing? How is he doing now?

41:53 Caller Oh, I don't know. I kind of decided it would be best not to even.

41:57 Drew Smart. That is smart. You showed a little initiative, a little bit of health.

42:02 Adam Yeah.

42:03 Drew And you are a boyfriend away from forgetting about this other guy forever. Not only the suicide guy, I mean the brother.

42:10 Adam Let's make suicide guy brother number one and the other brother you are into brother number two. Okay. Brother number one, you don't have any contact with him, either brother, right?

42:23 Caller Right.

42:24 Adam And you don't know if he is, for all you know, he committed suicide.

42:29 Caller No, he is alive.

42:30 Adam He is alive?

42:31 Caller Yeah, I've heard about him.

42:34 Brian Krause All right.

42:34 Adam And the two brothers, how much contact do they have?

42:37 Caller Well, they were living together. The younger brother, whose brother number two moved out because they really weren't best of friends.

42:48 Brian Krause Yeah.

42:48 Adam So he moved out and.

42:50 Caller Yeah. And he is doing okay. I think they're getting along okay now.

42:58 Adam All right. All right. Well, look, here's. All right. Here's the thing. It doesn't sound like she's head over heels in love with brother number two. Otherwise, she probably would have done something. Well, now, I don't mean look, I know our callers, Drew. They're they don't they don't have a ton of principle. They're more just lazy at best, I would say. And that's a compliment. Here's what I'm saying. If she's head over heels in love with this guy, do you really think she has, with nothing else going on in her life, you think she has the wherewithal or the intestinal fortitude not to see him, even when he's moved out and it's been six months?

43:37 Drew Your point is well taken, but I think she might. She might, I think it's possible. And listen, if she gets another boyfriend, number two and number one will vanish.

43:47 Caller Well, I haven't dated. You have.

43:50 Adam Do you still feel like you're in love with number two?

43:53 Caller Yeah, I really do, more than I've ever felt for anyone.

43:59 Adam Do you feel like some nights when it's quiet and it's late and you're alone and you close your eyes, you can smell number two?

44:07 Caller Well, I never let myself be that close to you.

44:09 Drew You smoke a lot of pot, right?

44:12 Caller What?

44:12 Drew Don't you? You smoke a lot of weed?

44:13 Caller Well, I don't do any drugs.

44:15 Drew No. Never did?

44:17 Caller No.

44:18 Drew Okay.

44:18 Adam So here's what I understand. If you're in love with number two, number two's moved out and not living near his brother, couldn't you guys start dating?

44:26 Caller No, I don't think it's, I don't think it's.

44:30 Adam I think, all right.

44:31 Who cares?

44:33 Adam I think she has intimacy problems now. Now downgraded to that. Jenna.

44:40 Hello.

44:41 Adam You're an old baby. What's up?

44:44 My mom, she keeps staying this man. It's like been four years and she's been going out with him and on and off with them. And it's really disturbing me. Why? She wants me to be happy for her. She says that since I'm happy, she deserves to be happy. Even though I just, I really hate it all. I want to just get out the house. But she says, if I try to, she's going to send me some to a home or something like that.

45:11 Drew What's up with the guy?

45:13 He just, he will come, he'll come, he'll be all happy and stuff like that. And they'll get together, they'll start having fun. And then all of a sudden, one day he leaves and he never calls again for like a month or maybe a year or something. He won't call.

45:31 Adam Well, maybe he's a rambling man.

45:33 Drew And undoubtedly he is. I know it's hard to see your mom going through this, but maybe you just gotta let her take care of herself. Yeah, the guy's a jerk, the guy's an a-hole, probably well taken. You hopefully won't do that to yourself and she's gotta manage her own life.

45:47 Adam Where's your biological jerk?

45:50 Well, he lives with his girlfriend.

45:54 Adam Or BJ's, I like to call him. Is he in town?

45:58 Yeah.

45:59 Adam Do you see him?

46:00 Yeah, he dropped some clothes off today.

46:03 Adam Oh, that's nice. You guys get along okay?

46:05 Yeah, we get along okay. It's just we don't see each other that often.

46:09 Adam Okay. Jenna, I'm gonna give you some quick advice here. Let your mom make whatever mistakes your mom wants to make.

46:17 Drew Don't be alone with this guy though, in the meantime.

46:19 Adam Her social life is her social life. You're 14, you'll be getting into high school next year, or maybe you're in high school this year. It's time for you to get some friends, not the losers, but some decent friends. Start getting involved with stuff. And here's everyone, everyone, here's your job. Your parents are idiots. Pretty much either they're not there or the ones that are there are idiots. Get your grades up and go somewhere far away to college and just become a lesbian and thumb your nose at your parents. Become successful. That's the whole thing, everybody.

46:54 Drew Become a successful lesbian.

46:57 Adam You wanna F with your parents? Go make a ton of money and go move away and stare at the ocean.

47:01 Drew Or do what Adam did, get a radio show and talk about them for 10 years.

47:04 Adam That's right, you pussies. You heard me, dad. I hate you. Point is, be successful. There's your revenge. All right? Don't just sit around and stew and get caught up and turn everything into a goddamn soap opera at home. Just get out, get your friends, go to school, do something. All right, we'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

47:41 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:02 Adam Hey, everybody. Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is in Kansas tonight. Go Lemurs! Yeah?

48:14 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

48:15 Adam Brian Krause in-

48:16 Drew Larry the Lemur.

48:18 Adam Larry the Lemur. I'm telling you, a panda would make a decent, decent mascot for a football team. You'd have to drag it out on a panda. I picture the panda just sitting, you know, when they sit and eat with their feet up, and you would just drag it. Just drag it onto the, right, right, right at the 50 yard line and just be eating the whole time.

48:37 Drew Just be sleeping.

48:39 Adam I really mean, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, we, we judge animals based on how they look. Everyone is in love with the pandas. All they, they don't even, they don't do anything.

48:50 Drew Why do you think they evolve that stuff?

48:52 Adam They hate us. Pandas hate us.

48:54 Drew Of course.

48:55 Adam I don't think they liked the round eyes either, by the way. They don't, they don't like the white man. Because we bring them over here from China and we set them up like, hey, what do you need? Wait, you got, you want some porno? We actually made panda porno to try to get them to hump and stuff.

49:09 Drew We will not have sex. We'll not do it.

49:11 Adam We did. Yeah. They showed them porno. They put, they get these other pandas, they feed them. They're just like, could you guys please hump? They're like, I don't think so. What animal do you have to beg to hump? Animals you have to beg to not hump. Listen, hey, hey, hey, you know, like you bring your dog around, get off the neighbor's leg. Come on, come on, get out of there. He's humping a hedge, humping a mailbox. You know, you can't stop animals from humping. Panda, panda, you get the feeling like pandas would have humped, except for they found out we wanted them to hump, and they're like, screw you. Now, now I'm just going to be sitting and eating and looking cute. Panda's also one of these animals, the fatter it gets, the better it looks. You know what I mean, just a 120-pound panda, cute, 200 pounds, adorable, 300 pounds you just want to eat.

50:01 Caller Just want to dive on it.

50:03 Adam It's just sitting there, tons of attitude, eating their bamboo and not humping. Yeah, cockroach, let me tell you about this, why am I true? Cockroach never really did anything to anybody. You know what I mean?

50:16 Drew We hate it though.

50:17 Adam We can't stand them. I think it's because they're ugly.

50:20 Drew Yeah, of course. Just the way we judge the panda to be good, we judge the cockroach to be bad.

50:25 Adam Yeah, and by the way, which would you rather, if you just walked in your bedroom and it was dark, you'd rather be a cockroach in there or a giant panda?

50:33 A panda.

50:34 Adam Yeah, it would kill you. Ironically, then rape your corpse.

50:39 Drew Nice. Yeah. Now, that's what I wanted to bring up, the whole rape thing.

50:43 Adam Yes, true.

50:43 Drew Because my peanut gallery has asked you review the whole notion of rape with Brian.

50:49 Adam Well, I will because I'm glad you brought that up because we like, we like, we are clarifying this.

50:56 Drew It's a violent, violent crime, Adam.

50:59 Adam Yes. Yeah, it is. It is. It's not, it's not a crime of, of passion. It's a, it's not a sexual crime. That, that's, that's where people, that's where they, that's where they're wrong about rape. It is not a crime of sex, not a sexual crime, but a crime of violence where you come at the end. You see, it's, it's just like any other violent crime, except for, you know, you come. It's, it's like, it's like if I held up a liquor store, you know, just, just, just kicked open the door, bashed the old lady over the head with the butt of my pistol, came and then cleaned out the cash register. No difference, you understand? A crime of what? What, engineer Chris?

51:40 Caller a crime of passion?

51:42 Adam No, violence, you idiot.

51:44 Drew Violence, no sex, no passion.

51:46 Adam No, it's not, it's not, it's not a sexual crime. It's a violent crime where you come at the end.

51:52 Drew Where you ejaculate, got it.

51:53 Adam You ejaculate, but it's not sexual at all.

51:57 Drew There's nothing sexual about it, how dare you?

51:59 Adam No, even as the semen is pouring from your penis, you know what you're thinking? Not sexual.

52:05 Drew Not sexual, thought, nothing, zero.

52:08 Adam Sure I have an erection, sure semen is coming out of my urethra, not aroused. Feeling violent, not sexual.

52:17 Drew Not sexual.

52:18 Adam It's like all the other times you have an ejaculation. It's like if you have a nocturnal emission, you're not having a sexual dream, you're dreaming you're beating the crap out of somebody.

52:29 Drew Look, it's going in, carjacking, and then ejaculating. That's it.

52:34 Adam Drew, if you're heading back to the hotel tonight and a man just jumps you in the parking lot.

52:40 Drew Beats the crap out of me.

52:41 Adam Beats the crap and then comes. It is no different. No different than a violent, violent crime where you ejaculate. Okay, that's it. Now people get mad when we do that, but I'm just saying. Who gets mad?

52:58 Drew Your grandma gets mad.

52:59 Adam My grandma gets mad. She gets mad. No, rape, not a good thing, but I would argue a sexual thing to the guys who actually are doing the raping. That's kind of the problem.

53:09 Drew Yes. You know what I mean? Yes.

53:11 Adam Because if it was a violent, if it was just about violence, they just go rob somebody.

53:16 Drew Right.

53:17 Adam Of course it's a sexual thing. I mean, it's deviant, but it's sexual just like for a pedophile, eight-year-old boy is sexual.

53:26 Drew Well, that's the point also that both those kinds, all the pedophilia and the rape has a motivational drive behind it in addition to the aggression of violence. And if you ignore that, you're missing the whole point.

53:37 Adam Yeah. And I'm starting to wonder whether, you know, be Michael Jackson or whoever, you know, these guys that are these like three-time losers that end up abducting the 18-year-old and finally killing, eight-year-old, I should say, finally killing somebody. What is there, is there cures for these guys? Like, I mean, hypothetically, if Michael Jackson is guilty, doesn't it seem like about 10 years ago, the alarm bell sounded on this guy, like, hey, maybe I ought to reel it in just a little bit. I don't think when it comes to sexuality, there's a whole lot of alteration and there's a whole lot of, look, knock it off. Like, Brian, you like the ladies, you like the shapely ladies, there'll be no more of that. Knock it off. Well, what do you do? You just sort of keep it quiet and do what you got to do. Sneak into Rose McGowan's dressing room.

54:32 Brian Krause Drug them or what? I mean, is there a way to stop it?

54:35 Adam I don't know. Drew, turn your cans down a little bit, by the way, because I'm hearing a little reverberation. I know that once you've established yourself as a sort of sexual predator, and, you know, here's the other thing, too. We need to define this more clearly. The guy who drops his pants in front of the sorority house and slaps his ass shouldn't be on the sexual predator list. You know, that's the other thing, too, is the list is so broad, we put everyone on it and, you know, everything is rape, you know. You know, it's the same thing. It's like a woman jogging in the park, it's jumped and violently raped. That's rape. And then you rolling over on your girlfriend of four years in the middle of the night and get a little something. That's rape, too. If everything's rape, then nothing's rape, you know? And if everyone's a violent sexual predator, then it takes away from those who actually are. So I think the first thing you need to do is really establish who's done what. And you show me a guy who breaks into some old lady's house at two in the morning, holds her at knife point and rapes her. I'm going to show you someone who doesn't need to see the light of day again. Six years in the joint's not going to straighten his head out and get him on the path on the straight and narrow.

55:52 Brian Krause The penalty is definitely not stiff enough.

55:53 Adam Yeah. And I don't know if there's some sort of halfway house that these guys are confined to for the rest of their lives. If it's some sort of supervised whatever, I don't know what it is, but it's something. And anyone who thinks that's too stiff, don't break into the old lady's house at three in the morning and rape her by knife point. There you go. People act like we just pick out people from society randomly. Yeah, you'll be going to the house for molesters and you'll be doing time for. No, you got to theoretically got to go out and do something first. Just don't do it. All right. Or Pedophile Island. That's my new plan.

56:32 Drew Pedophile Isle.

56:33 Adam Oh, pedophile. No, no, Drew, it's pedif-ile.

56:36 Drew That's right.

56:37 Adam See what I'm saying? And it's going to be.

56:39 Brian Krause Is it a new reality deal?

56:42 Adam It's a drama. You know, give me in touch with some of those WB executives. That's all I'm saying. And there's a part in it for you.

56:49 Drew Hey, pedophile. Wait a second.

56:50 Adam Brian Krause.

56:52 King of the pedophile.

56:53 Drew That would be Cub Scout leader.

56:55 Adam Oh, no, okay, yeah, we'll put you on our side. Because a plane of Cub Scouts crashes in the pedi-ile.

57:01 Brian Krause Pedi-ile.

57:02 Adam Yeah, okay, we'll make you the Cub Scout leader. Although, I got to tell you, a more challenging role, King of the Pedophiles, because we got to make you likable. Yeah.

57:11 Brian Krause I'm real. Be endearing.

57:12 Adam We're going to get the ladies to watch.

57:14 Caller All right.

57:16 Adam Speaking of charmed, we got a big fan of Brian's on the phone.

57:20 Brian Krause Dana?

57:21 Caller Yes, hi.

57:21 Caller How are you guys doing?

57:23 Adam Good.

57:23 Caller Hi.

57:24 Caller Hi, Adam. Hi, Dr. Drew. Hi, Brian.

57:26 Caller Hi.

57:27 Caller I am a huge fan. I've been watching you since, well, it was a Blue Lagoon.

57:33 Caller Wow. Yeah.

57:34 Caller That was a great movie. No, you know. But I was wondering, how is it working with all three of the girls? Do they pretty much get along in such and y'all hang out and stuff?

57:47 Brian Krause Don't hang out outside of work much. Everybody gets along. It's a lot of fun. You know, been lucky to be there for the seven years I have been, for sure. You know, it's just like being a part of a family. We see each other every day for so many years. There's a lot of times we get along, a lot of times we don't. You know, it's a lot of laughs, tears.

58:07 Drew A lot of times.

58:07 Brian Krause A lot of everything.

58:08 Adam Yeah. Have your periods synced up yet? After seven years, even a guy would start having a period at that point.

58:15 Brian Krause I just missed, actually. I'm a little worried.

58:17 Adam Oh, really? Spotted?

58:18 Brian Krause Yeah. Yeah.

58:19 Adam I saw the napkin in the bathroom, Drew. I didn't want to say anything. It was one of the DJs.

58:24 Brian Krause It was good. Oh, is that good?

58:26 Adam Yeah, it means he's pregnant. All right. Hey, Dana?

58:29 Caller I just wanted to say thank you. I think my spell's cutting out.

58:32 Adam All right. Thanks for calling. Hi, Brian. The girls are a little bit nutty, but so what actresses aren't, right?

58:38 Brian Krause It's, well, who isn't?

58:41 Adam Well, like you could work with Drew. It would be boring. You probably want to kill yourself, but there'd be no highs, no lows. Just a nice straight flat line all the way through, you know? You know what I mean? You wouldn't get that, you wouldn't have the, well, some days are good days and some days are bad days. You wouldn't have to use those euphemisms like Drew, well, Drew's Drew.

59:03 Caller That's always bad, by the way.

59:05 Drew Good days and bad days.

59:06 Adam The worst thing anyone can say about you is they repeat your name twice. Brian. Oh, well, you know, what can you say about Brian? Brian's Brian. That means Brian's an a-hole. Exactly. You have to kill yourself the minute anyone just says Drew's Drew or Adam's Adam. That's just, that's the worst day ever. Yeah, they're just being nice at that point. But the girls are hot. They're a little bit nutty, but you don't have to deal with them too much. I mean, you know, are those any little competition they have? Like, you know, they must be vying for your attention.

59:39 Brian Krause They're all competing for me. It's tough. Awesome.

59:42 Adam That's hot. Chris and Drew are that way with me. Yeah.

59:46 Brian Krause All right. I keep telling myself that.

59:48 Drew I'm going to gouge his eyes out.

59:50 Adam Engineer Chris, what can you say? You know, Chris is Chris. Thanks.

59:55 Caller Huh?

59:58 Drew All right.

59:59 Adam Let's talk.

59:59 Drew I'm used to it.

1:00:00 Adam Whatever. Let's do a little Germany or Florida, Drew.

1:00:04 Drew Sure. Let's go.

1:00:05 Adam All right.

1:00:06 Drew Mark, we need to hear a little operatic.

1:00:11 Caller Is it Germany or Florida? Hey, Germany or Florida? Let's find out.

1:00:31 Adam Yeah.

1:00:32 Drew Big ending.

1:00:33 Adam There's Germany or Florida from the great David Allen Grier, who now can shut up the next time I see him. He keeps complaining about where Germany or Florida is. All right. Let's talk to Mark. The way the game is played, they give us the bizarre story. And we guess, is it Germany or Florida? Mark?

1:00:51 Brian Krause Yeah.

1:00:52 Adam Go right ahead.

1:00:53 Brian Krause All right. It's 1 a.m. on Friday morning. Two men were fighting in the middle of a neighborhood street when one of the men eventually got in his pickup and grabbing his opponent by the neck, started dragging him along the ground, up the street until he finally let go, and the undercarriage of his vehicle killed him. Drove near Florida.

1:01:10 Caller Hmm.

1:01:12 Adam Feels like Florida to me.

1:01:13 Drew Feels very Florida.

1:01:14 Brian Krause Pickup truck.

1:01:15 Brian Krause Yeah.

1:01:16 Adam You know, they have, it's weird in Europe, they seem to have pickup trucks, but they're like those things you see on the golf carts. They're not on the golf course. They're like golf carts with little wagons in them. Yeah, they're micro things. Which can still go over and kill a guy.

1:01:33 Brian Krause Yeah.

1:01:34 Adam We're all going with Florida. Yeah, Brian?

1:01:36 Brian Krause You're in Florida?

1:01:37 Adam Yeah. Mark, we're going Florida.

1:01:39 Brian Krause Oh, sorry guys. Actually, it is Florida.

1:01:42 Adam Oh, good.

1:01:43 Brian Krause That's good.

1:01:44 Drew He had us there.

1:01:45 Adam The Ryan Seacrest thing at the end of American Idol when he goes, I'm sorry, Angela, you'll not be going home. It's like, all right, could you stop effing with everybody? It does not get rump noxious after a while, too. He does that every single time. So it's worse than the Seacrest out. He gets to pour two scared people right there. But basically, the loser is just going back to Indiana to kill themselves. And he does it every time. He just looks at him and he goes, Shannon, it's bad, bad news for the person standing next to you.

1:02:21 Caller And then the other guy's like, what?

1:02:24 Adam It's great for the person that thought they were getting act, but for the person standing there, so it's horrible.

1:02:29 Brian Krause Cause I don't quite get it yet.

1:02:31 Adam No, no.

1:02:33 Brian Krause It's like Zoolander going up and taking the award.

1:02:36 Adam I am watching The Idol now, though. I must say, Drew, I can't help it.

1:02:40 Drew Really?

1:02:40 Adam I'm bought into it.

1:02:41 Brian Krause No, I'm kidding.

1:02:42 Adam I'm watched.

1:02:43 Caller Who are you rooting for?

1:02:44 Adam I love all the kids, but I love, there's a sassy black lady on there, a young, what the hell's her name? It's not for, she got a good-

1:02:53 Caller Oh, no, you didn't.

1:02:54 Adam Yeah, that's her. She's got a good song. She's hot. You know, she's a newbie and princess. I'm into her. I'm going to come up with their name in a second. Sam?

1:03:04 Yeah.

1:03:05 Adam You're 20?

1:03:06 Caller Yes.

1:03:07 Adam What's up?

1:03:09 Caller Well, I've, I used to take prenatal pills about a year and a half ago when I was pregnant. Don't take them anymore. But I had heard recently from a friend that they could help me lose weight. And I'm just wondering, was there any, like, validity to that or is that just one of those things that...

1:03:24 Drew How is that supposed to occur?

1:03:28 Caller From what I understand...

1:03:29 Adam Well, that's why she's calling.

1:03:30 Drew I'm just curious what the friend told her.

1:03:32 Caller Well, from what I understand, something about, like, the pill, the prenatal vitamin is supposed to give you, like, vitamins that you can't normally get and they're supposed to, like, help you get rid of, like, toxins in your body or something like that.

1:03:44 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no. What's a, think about it, whenever anybody starts talking about toxins, what is a toxin? Well, hold on, Drew, let me tell you.

1:03:54 Brian Krause Where does it exist?

1:03:55 Adam What does it do? You ever wake up in the morning and you feel like you'd like to sleep for another hour? Huh? Answer. Do you, Brian? Of course.

1:04:04 Caller Yeah, a few times.

1:04:05 Adam Okay, okay, let me explain. Those are toxins build up in your body. We live in a toxic environment, okay? The water you drink, the air you breathe, the food you eat, all toxins, okay? Your body absorbs those toxins and those toxins settle in your colon, okay? That makes you tired. It makes you lethargic. You know, sometimes about three in the afternoon, you just feel like you'd like to take a nap. You ever feel that way? Sure. Those are toxins. Those are toxins. You ever feel like sometimes you're just reading and you don't remember what you read or you can't focus very clearly? Toxins. Wow. Yeah. Toxins. You ever have to take a leak? You go to the bathroom, number one?

1:04:45 Drew Sure.

1:04:45 Adam Toxins.

1:04:46 Drew Toxins.

1:04:47 Adam You ever get in your car and turn the key on the right there and have it start up? No. Toxins. Wow. Toxins. You ever feel horny? Toxins. Hungry? Toxins. Yeah. White guy? Toxins. It's all toxins, okay? You like watching TiVo? Toxins. Okay. That's my point. They build up in your body. You have to purge them every once in a while. And the only way you can do that is shoving a hose up your ass. Okay? Drew, you're a doctor. Am I right or am I right?

1:05:13 Drew Of course, of course.

1:05:14 Adam You gotta purge those toxins.

1:05:16 Drew So here's the deal. Your body is designed to take chemicals and use them or get rid of them. It takes, it's incredibly resilient in terms of getting rid of stuff. Number one, number two, we're just talking about vitamins with a little bit of iron and a little bit of folic acid. That's all prenatal vitamins are. And otherwise regular vitamins and they can't make you lose weight.

1:05:33 Adam And there is no, there's no real, your body doesn't store toxins.

1:05:37 Drew No, if somebody's got to explain to me exactly what chemical they're talking about and exactly how it's stored, because there's no such thing.

1:05:44 Adam And what do you, what's in your colon right now?

1:05:47 Drew Your colon, it's outside your body. This is what people will understand, your colon is back. The inside of your colon is outside of your body.

1:05:56 Adam Yeah, so what's that mean?

1:05:58 Drew It means whatever's in there doesn't even get into your body, so it doesn't matter.

1:06:01 Adam Doesn't affect you?

1:06:02 Drew No.

1:06:03 Adam But what about the toxins that are built up?

1:06:04 Drew Yeah, right.

1:06:05 Adam What a wrap, everybody with these enemas.

1:06:08 Drew Yeah, here's the deal, we do colonoscopy, we make the colon squeaky clean, and we have to be able to see every molecule, every surface, and it doesn't make people feel good to have your colon completely cleaned out for colonoscopy.

1:06:20 Brian Krause Are you going to lose weight, though, with a little colonic?

1:06:22 Adam What about it?

1:06:24 Drew If they put a high salt concentration, you'll get a diuretic effect, you'll get an osmotic load, sure.

1:06:30 Adam Osmotic load, that's the name of my band from high school. We've rocked. That's osmotic load. It's awesome we played the prom on here. All right, Drew, you ready to keep on keeping on?

1:06:41 Drew Let's go.

1:06:42 Adam Let's see, two miscarriages on the pill, lose weight. All right, let's see. Let's talk to Deborah.

1:06:49 Caller Hi.

1:06:50 Adam Deborah, 25.

1:06:51 Caller Hi, guys. Hi, Brian.

1:06:52 Adam What's up?

1:06:53 Caller Hi.

1:06:53 Drew I got to remember to say that I'm looking for a couple and or an individual for a sex therapy session. A guy with premature E or a couple that wants to sort of work on something.

1:07:02 Adam All right. Well, Brian's got to premature E and we're both sort of a couple now, so maybe we'll just go.

1:07:07 Caller Let's go.

1:07:07 Caller I'm going to be a couple with Brian. Hey, we can do this.

1:07:10 Drew You guys are great.

1:07:11 Brian Krause I'm quick.

1:07:12 Caller He's quick.

1:07:13 Caller Hey, that's a good one.

1:07:13 Brian Krause I'll let you know.

1:07:14 Adam Too late.

1:07:15 Caller Whoa.

1:07:16 Drew Yeah.

1:07:18 Caller That's okay. That's worth it. Well, first of all, Brian, huge fan. I hope the show goes another season, and I'm really looking forward to seeing you on the screen again.

1:07:26 Brian Krause So thank you.

1:07:27 Caller You're welcome. You're welcome. Okay. Question, guys. A couple of weekends ago, I was in Vegas with a bunch of friends doing the Vegas thing, drinking, doing a little bit of Coke. All of a sudden, someone we were there with said, oh no, we've got to switch straws. We can't do that. Same one. I'm 25 years old. I've done Coke a couple of times and I've never heard that before. I never took it seriously. Always here, don't use the same needles, don't do this. But using the same straw, I thought about it. Hi, that's up people's noses. What's the danger? I mean, not like I'm going to do Coke all the time, but I'm only 25, who knows? So can you maybe help me out here?

1:08:09 Drew Nothing. You can get a cold. You can transfer a cold.

1:08:12 Adam Well, is that a mucosal membrane in there?

1:08:15 Drew Yeah. So the things that are excreted on the surface of the nose, like common cold viruses, that sort of thing, you can catch a cold basically. Okay. Cool.

1:08:28 Adam What about like a hepatitis thing?

1:08:33 Drew Really not. You can get Staph aureus passed around. That's a colonizer. And then you can be carrying that around. And then that can cause infection later somewhere else. But it's really not that I mean.

1:08:43 Caller So my nose is not falling out.

1:08:44 Adam You're cool. Look, do what I do. Grow that pinky nail out about two inches.

1:08:49 Caller Nice. Okay.

1:08:50 Adam Dip it right into the vial. Just a little snuff, a little bump. Watch the freeze. Watch the freeze with it. You'll cut your gums to shreds.

1:08:59 Caller Thank you, Adam. Okay.

1:09:01 Adam How much is Coke or Graham these days? I'm thinking about getting back in.

1:09:05 Caller You know what? Coke is just disgusting. It's honestly not good anymore. So.

1:09:08 Adam Oh, it's not good.

1:09:09 Caller Yeah, it's just gross. Too many people are like making out of baby laxatives and like vitamin D.

1:09:13 Adam Too speedy, huh?

1:09:14 Brian Krause Baby laxative.

1:09:16 Adam Is that a wives tale? Do they really put baby lax? What is baby laxative? How come I've never seen? Do they just make baby laxative to cut Coke? Because I don't think there's any business for it otherwise.

1:09:26 Caller Yeah, without Coke, there probably would be no baby laxative.

1:09:29 Adam In what? How much is it a gram these days?

1:09:33 Caller Oh, God.

1:09:35 Caller 60.

1:09:36 Adam 60?

1:09:37 Caller I don't know.

1:09:37 Caller I really don't know.

1:09:39 Adam It's reasonable.

1:09:40 Caller I have a friend of a friend of a friend who knows someone who could maybe you got a problem.

1:09:44 Drew We're cool. Yeah, you've got it. You've got enough with your medicine the way it is. You don't need to expand the pharmacology.

1:09:50 Adam The booze brings me down. I need something to pet me up, you know, for the morning time. Like Elvis. Here's the thing. Coke was like, what do you think the height? What do you think the most expensive Coke was around here, Drew? A hundred and twenty a gram?

1:10:04 Drew Yeah.

1:10:05 Adam It was a hundred and twenty gram when I was making seven bucks an hour. You know what I mean? So it's like a full week of work just to get a couple of grams. You know, it was tough. Couldn't pay my bills. Now I'm literally a millionaire and you could get a gram for fifty bucks. You know what I mean? It would equivalent be like fifty cents to me now. Wow. I'm just saying it makes sense.

1:10:24 Drew Because you're literally a millionaire.

1:10:26 Adam Literally a millionaire. Yeah.

1:10:28 Brian Krause Yeah.

1:10:29 Drew All right.

1:10:29 Adam Let's take ourselves a little break, shall we? Brian Krause in here tonight from Charmed wwwwb, eight o'clock Saturday night. Take a quick break. Be right back after this.

1:10:48 Caller Loveline is brought to you by the May Issue of Playboy. Why feature a real Desperate Housewives pictorial in our annual baseball preview issue? Because like baseball, beauty is also a game of inches. 38-28-36 to be exact. The May Playboy on Newsstands now.

1:11:04 Adam Dog, I wasn't feeling it tonight. Then just leans back again. Laughing all the way to the bank. Hey, everybody. Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew in Kansas City. Are you in Kansas City or Kansas?

1:11:28 Drew Manhattan, Kansas.

1:11:29 Adam Manhattan, Kansas. Go Silverfish. Silverfish, horrible name for a team.

1:11:38 Drew We've been in Kansas. I didn't realize we'd been here in Lawrence and Manhattan for like eight years. We've been here a long time.

1:11:43 Adam Oh, really? Yeah, because I got a big following here. Oh, good. God bless you. We I think we sort of look at Kansas as one of the newer affiliates.

1:11:54 Drew I thought Lawrence. Yeah.

1:11:55 Adam All right. Well, good. Salt of the Earth. I love those Kansas nights. Whatever Kansas, Kansas. Yeah. Brian Krause here tonight from Charmed on the www, www, www, www, WB. That is eight o'clock on Sunday night. Do you remember we did that promo for the www, www, www, www, WB?

1:12:19 Drew I remember that we were in Chicago and you said, I will not say that. And they said, say it. And you said, this thing is going away in four milliseconds anyway. It's a bad idea. History will be unkind to this. And they said, say the damn thing.

1:12:32 Adam And I was like, it's the www, www, www, WB. And they're like, no, you idiot. It's the www, www, WB. And I'm like, it's the www, WB? No, the www, www, WB. And I'm like, you think this is gonna catch on? And they're like, just do it. And I'm like, Drew, how many of those conversations have we had over the years?

1:12:56 Drew I just wanted to know how many times, I would love to know how many times you explained to them, this is a bad idea, this is never gonna work. What are you doing?

1:13:02 Adam I would like a three-hour reel of me just explaining to people how horrible their ideas were and how it wasn't gonna work. Them going, just do it, and me looking at Drew and his hands are on his hips and he's standing next to the person who's telling me just to do it. Thanks buddy.

1:13:17 Drew You need a brain vacation.

1:13:20 Adam Benedict Arnold.

1:13:21 Drew Yeah.

1:13:25 Adam We used to, one of the earlier Loveline TV promos was me saying, you need a brain vacation. And I'm like, what does that mean? And they're like, we paid a Madison Avenue company a lot of money to come up with that. I was like, give me a bong in 30 seconds. I'll come up with something better. And then everyone gets mad. And then I dropped the, I'm saving you from your self-line. And now everyone really gets mad.

1:13:50 Drew Now they can talk about history. History will be unkind.

1:13:53 Adam Yes, yes, and then I say this. All right, I will say whatever garbage you've rammed up my ass, please remember when this is a horrible failure, who said this was gonna be a horrible failure? And I just want to apologize, apology from all the folks at WB who came up with that horrible campaign and made me say it. All right, Drew, what were we doing in Chicago?

1:14:14 Drew You know what? I think we were promoting the Fox version of Loveline that never went to TV.

1:14:20 Adam On the dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-wmv? Yeah.

1:14:23 Brian Krause You got that down now.

1:14:24 Adam I did. Now it got seared into my soul. Aaron?

1:14:30 Caller Yes.

1:14:30 Adam You're 27?

1:14:32 Caller Yes, I am.

1:14:33 Adam Oh, wait a minute. Another prenatal pill commercial? I mean, question?

1:14:40 Caller Yeah, I was listening to the show and a discussion I was having with some co-workers a few weeks ago about if a guy can take prenatals just if he wanted to like grow his hair.

1:14:52 Adam Yeah, look, prenatal vitamins, first off, all these vitamins, Drew, stop me if I'm wrong, but there's all these vitamins. It's like, there's a formula for chicks and a formula for dudes and a formula for chicks over 15, a formula for dudes under 15. They're all just the same crap. Just take a multivitamin.

1:15:12 Drew A little more calcium or a little more folic acid. The thing about the prenatal vitamins is they have iron. And you can get iron overload. So you don't want to be taking prenatal vitamins chronically. You can make yourself sick.

1:15:24 Brian Krause Mm hmm.

1:15:26 Adam And you'll crap out a railroad spike. Come on, Drew, laugh it up, buddy.

1:15:32 Drew Very funny.

1:15:33 Brian Krause Let's get that flushed.

1:15:34 Adam Let's talk to Andy, who's 20. Andy. Yeah, Andy got the DUI. I was talking about him 80 minutes ago. Andy, you there?

1:15:44 Caller What's going on, guys? Oh, I missed Drew. I missed Drew tonight.

1:15:49 Adam You're in Kansas?

1:15:51 Caller Yeah.

1:15:51 Adam Goach and Chillis.

1:15:53 Caller I wanted to go so bad, but I had to work. I couldn't get out of it. Oh, I didn't find out till last week.

1:15:59 Adam Oh, Spicoli moves to Kansas. So, you got a DUI?

1:16:05 Caller Basically. Well, I didn't. I was kind of complicated. I was talking on the phone screener about it. I kind of switched between substances, alcohol and marijuana.

1:16:16 Drew You're no kidding.

1:16:16 Caller And I got the DUI when I was kind of in a drinking phase. And now I'm back to marijuana. I'm kind of wondering if the addiction is basically a product of like the drug itself, or if it's... I have kind of social anxiety, or just kind of anxiety stuff.

1:16:34 Drew Regardless of what causes you to use the drugs, whatever you're trying to regulate, or avoid, or escape, addiction is a separate process that is activated and requires treatment. I don't want to correct that, yeah. Whether it's because you had a knee fracture and you ended up in the hospital for a month on morphine, or because someone handed you a joint when you were a bong when you were 15, or you worked in a bar. Whatever it is, once addiction is active, it's active.

1:17:01 Adam Sounds like a great life, by the way. Andy, what is the legal limit there in Kansas? Is it 0.10 or 0.08?

1:17:12 Caller 0.08, I think.

1:17:13 Adam 0.08?

1:17:14 Brian Krause What were you?

1:17:16 Caller I was like 0.16 something.

1:17:19 Adam Twice the legal limit. But let me just say this about the legal limit. They pull people over all the time and they're like, he was four times the legal limit. If he was driving, we got to raise the legal limit then. To me, I'm not hearing he drank too much. I'm just hearing the limit is too low. If people can do four times, you should be dead at four times the legal limit, not swerving. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm just saying, it means we need to bring it up a little.

1:17:45 Drew The deal is alcoholics though are resistant to the intoxicating effects of alcohol.

1:17:49 Adam That's what I'm saying. That's why I get the heavyweight sticker on my license. I get pulled over and it's like, buddy, you blow 0.25. Sorry, Mr. Corolla, I did not see the sticker. Would you like an escort home? Okay. Go ahead and put some holes in that lampshade so you can see the road, sir. Fantastic. Yeah, it's nothing to laugh about, but if my mom gets to 0.08, she skirts up over her head. She's a mess. I'm at 0.08. I'm fine. That's all I'm saying. Drew, am I right or am I right?

1:18:22 Drew That's that Corolla gene.

1:18:23 Adam Yeah.

1:18:25 Drew All right.

1:18:25 Adam So Andy's got to get some help, yes?

1:18:28 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:18:28 Adam All right.

1:18:30 Drew Just go to MA meeting, go to 12-step meeting. You'll meet a bunch of guys with your story.

1:18:34 Adam All right. Let's talk to Nadia.

1:18:38 Drew Hi.

1:18:38 Adam Nadia?

1:18:40 Caller Yeah.

1:18:40 Adam That's different than Nadia?

1:18:43 Caller Yeah, it's a softer Y.

1:18:46 Drew Oh, I didn't realize that.

1:18:48 Adam Well, is Nadia, how do you spell Nadia then?

1:18:52 Caller N-A-D-Y-A.

1:18:54 Adam How do you spell the other Nadia? That's how you spell the other Nadia? Yeah, I thought there's an I in there.

1:18:59 Caller No, it sounds that way, but it's Russian, so we have funky pronouncing.

1:19:04 Adam All right.

1:19:05 Caller Pronunciation.

1:19:07 Adam You're Russian, are you?

1:19:08 Caller Yes, I am.

1:19:09 Adam All right. When did you, were you born in that country?

1:19:13 Caller No, I'm second generation.

1:19:15 Adam All right. And what's up?

1:19:19 Caller Well, a couple months ago, I was having a ton of bladder infections, so I was catheterized. And ever since, yeah, it was unpleasant. But ever since then, like, I cannot directly stimulate my clitoris without it, like, hurting. And I'm wondering if maybe the catheterization caused that.

1:19:41 Adam I'm going to go with yeah, but Drew, how do they do it on a chick?

1:19:45 Drew They just open the lips and look for the urethra and send it on up. In a way, it's easier than on a guy.

1:19:51 Adam Really?

1:19:51 Drew To find the opening, yeah. Why? You're feeding it down a pipe.

1:19:56 Adam Yeah. I bet you're like, oh yeah, I mean, you got a long way with the Ace man. I'm like, you better get a bigger spool than that, buddy. You're going to get halfway home with that. This is like the transatlantic cable.

1:20:09 Drew No, you get a big old spool.

1:20:10 Adam One of those big coffee table size spools. Yeah.

1:20:15 Caller Yeah.

1:20:17 Adam Hell yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

1:20:21 Drew Are you on medication of any type?

1:20:24 Caller Well, they put me on, well, I'm on birth control, but that's the only real medication that I'm taking consistently. They had me on different antibiotics and stuff to try to kill the bladder infections.

1:20:35 Drew Then put you anything to help you hold the urine or anything like that?

1:20:38 Caller No.

1:20:40 Adam All right.

1:20:41 Drew What else, Drew? Maybe the area was traumatized. That's very strange. I've heard of things like that, but not from just a simple catheterization.

1:20:49 Adam Do you have a boyfriend? Yeah. Can he have sex? Have intercourse?

1:20:55 Caller He can have sex, but he used to be able to go down on me, and now he can't because it's just way too sensitive. It just hurt.

1:21:03 Adam Wow. Dodge the bullet there. Nice.

1:21:07 Caller So it's a problem.

1:21:08 Adam I'll get my wife in for one of these things. All right. Well, maybe this was how long ago? Maybe it'll ease up a little bit.

1:21:19 Drew You would think.

1:21:20 Caller In all actuality, it was about five months ago, so I think-

1:21:24 Drew Oh my. I've not heard of this. I would go talk to a gynecologist about it. I can't really figure out. I mean, the catheter is a very soft rubber that just goes up into the bladder. It's hard to understand how it could hurt nerves or damage clitoris. I, mm, it just doesn't quite fit.

1:21:45 Adam And it's not such a long run on the ladies either, right?

1:21:48 Drew Is the birth control pill a new pill?

1:21:51 Adam Not true. It's been around since the 60s.

1:21:53 Drew No, her pill.

1:21:54 Adam Come on, buddy. You're a doctor. You should know that. Don't make excuses. Nadia? Yeah. Is this a new pill for you, this birth control pill?

1:22:03 Caller No, I've been on the birth control pill for about eight months before they decided to catheterize me.

1:22:08 Adam All right.

1:22:09 Drew But the same pill?

1:22:10 Caller Same pill.

1:22:11 Adam All right. All right. Go talk to a gynecologist, see what's up.

1:22:14 Drew Yeah. You need to talk to him. This is very confusing. I wonder if something's happening. I worry about there's something going on down there that set you up for the recurrent urine infections and also causing this change.

1:22:26 Adam Drew, how long is the run on an average check with the urethra?

1:22:31 Drew Half inch.

1:22:32 Adam Oh, really?

1:22:33 Drew An inch. That's about an inch.

1:22:34 Adam About an inch? Okay. You ever had a catheter up there, Drew?

1:22:41 Drew I've had a cystoscopy. Delightful experience.

1:22:43 Adam How's that one go?

1:22:45 Drew Remember when Jimmy had the spike sent up his urethra?

1:22:48 Adam Yeah, I do. Didn't you put that up his urethra?

1:22:51 Drew No, I had him sent for that, yeah.

1:22:52 Adam Oh, he went somewhere. I think I went with him. I think we said to make a radio bit out of it.

1:22:58 Caller Oh, my God.

1:23:00 Drew But this is where they send it. The cystoscopy is you take a rigid, like, a periscope and put it down the penis, and then they have to take the whole penile apparatus and move it down to where the urethra penetrates the perineum and goes into the bladder. It's lovely.

1:23:15 Adam It's not the periscope that hurts you. It's that salty sea captain who has to look through it and start yelling, land lover, start yelling, land ahoy.

1:23:25 Drew The guy from The Simpsons with the one eye.

1:23:27 Adam He's gonna send your balls to Davy Jones' locker. Chris, you know where Davy Jones' locker is?

1:23:34 Drew Where's the raincoat? It's nice. He's already set.

1:23:36 Adam Yeah, he's got the slicker on.

1:23:38 Drew Yeah, yellow.

1:23:40 Adam All right, we will, oh man, I wanna watch that crab, I wanna watch that crab fishing show that's on like Discovery coming up. They got this thing about Alaskan crab fishermen they've been advertising all week. You know, they, that's like the most-

1:23:55 Drew Are you hallucinating?

1:23:56 Adam What the hell? I was thinking, you brought up the yellow slicker. I was thinking about fishermen. I'm always thinking about King Crab.

1:24:05 Drew Oh, indeed.

1:24:06 Adam King Crab, that's an awesome, that'd be a good name.

1:24:09 Brian Krause For a band.

1:24:10 Adam Go, or a team. Go King Crab. A big crab on the side of your helmet?

1:24:16 Brian Krause I think that's a junior college up in Anchorage.

1:24:18 Adam King Crab. Yeah, tough mascot to work out, but I think we could do it. Go King Crab. Yeah, crush him. Dip him in butter. Yeah, that'd be the other team yelling. Yeah, you know my thing, if I had a, I like crab, I don't like, when you go to the crab place, they got that huge fiberglass King Crab that they usually, or it's a stuffed King Crab that's up on the thing, and it's fun to look at, but then you look down at your crab and it's dwarfed by the one that's on the wall and you think, I wonder who got to eat the one that was on the wall, I wish I could eat that one. I'm gonna open a crab place with a small crab up on the wall, and my policy will be the one on your plate bigger than the one on the wall. See what I'm saying?

1:25:01 Drew Not everybody lives in the crab envy. It's just a recapitulation of your genital situation.

1:25:08 Adam No, but Drew, you know whenever you get a lobster or a crab, you get pissed off because you get a small one, and you think the person, the next person gets a bigger one?

1:25:17 Drew No.

1:25:17 Adam You know when you get those pubic crabs, you're mad because, that's what I'm talking about.

1:25:23 Drew Yeah, then I'm jealous and mad.

1:25:25 Adam Pubic king crabs. We'll take ourselves a little break. Brian Krause here tonight from Charmed, and we'll be right back after this.

1:25:34 Caller Love Line.

1:25:54 Caller 3, 2, 1, go!

1:25:57 Adam Yeah, everybody, it's Love Line. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew in Kansas. Go Lab Mice! Bad name.

1:26:07 Drew They're so entertained by you, Adam.

1:26:08 Adam Yeah, because they're geniuses. They're college students, right, Drew?

1:26:13 Drew Yeah.

1:26:14 Adam All right, and by your estimation, smarter than the general populace, yes?

1:26:19 Drew Yes, reasonably.

1:26:20 Adam Gifted. Kansas, is that a good school?

1:26:23 Drew Yes.

1:26:24 Adam Oh, that was condescending. No, it is.

1:26:26 Drew That was a condescending.

1:26:27 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:26:28 Drew No, they've got a great veterinary department, veterinary school.

1:26:31 Adam That's another apology. Very well known. Right. But everyone who's there tonight, out of the ten people that are there, none of them are involved with the veterinary program, are they?

1:26:43 Drew No, they're into you, Adam, so what do you expect?

1:26:45 Adam I'm just saying, you complimented the one aspect of the school that no one is involved with.

1:26:49 Drew It's an agricultural school originally.

1:26:51 Adam Oh, it is?

1:26:52 Drew Yeah.

1:26:53 Adam All right. I don't know what that word means. Brian Krause is here tonight. He is from Charmed on the www. 8 o'clock Sunday night. Let's take a few more phone calls, shall we? Let's take a call. Amber over here, a big fan of Brian's. Amber, you're 24.

1:27:10 Caller Yes, I am. What's up? Adam, I called you a couple, maybe a month ago, and I'm the blind girl.

1:27:19 Adam That's right. I like you because you can't see my Brillo head.

1:27:24 Caller That's true, but I can feel it.

1:27:26 Adam You can, yeah, you will. And do you, let me, well, I guess you can't, you have no way to really check this. Although I guess you could because you have friends. Can you get a vibe off of someone's voice as to like their weight, their physique, their looks?

1:27:41 Caller You know what? That is true. Some people just have a fat sounding voice. They just do. Sometimes I'll listen to the radio or whatever. And okay, there was this comedian on my morning show. And he just had a fat sounding voice. He just sounded fat. And later on the show, one of the DJs commented on his weight.

1:28:05 Adam Well, okay. But 85 percent of morning show DJs are morbidly obese.

1:28:10 Caller No, no, no. I'm talking about the comedian.

1:28:13 Adam Okay. Oh, I see the comedian. What would you think by just listening to the velvety tones of engineer Chris, how would you describe him physically?

1:28:25 Caller Uh, describe him physically?

1:28:27 Caller Um, that's a good question. He sounds like a dweeb.

1:28:32 Caller Oh, wow.

1:28:34 Caller I'm actually a dork, but dweeb is okay.

1:28:36 Adam Yeah, he's a little more of a wuss than he is a dweeb. How dare you. But okay, sounds dweeby. Okay, so far, so good. Keep going.

1:28:46 Caller He sounds, um, maybe 5'6, 5'7.

1:28:50 Adam How dare you. He's a little taller than that, right? All right, keep going.

1:28:56 Caller Weight-wise, um, sounds skinny. Sounds very skinny.

1:29:01 Adam Slender. All right.

1:29:03 Caller All right.

1:29:04 Adam All right. What is your, what is your height and weight, Chris, by the way?

1:29:08 Drew 5'6, 1'46.

1:29:10 Adam All right. Spot on.

1:29:12 Caller I was right.

1:29:13 Adam All right. And what about, what about coloration?

1:29:16 Caller I would have to say he's blonde-haired, blue-eyed.

1:29:18 Adam No. That's where your spidey sense is wrong.

1:29:23 Caller Well, see, okay. Let me explain to you this way. I like guys with dark hair. I like dark, dark men. I don't like-

1:29:33 Drew Then you like Chris. Yeah.

1:29:35 Caller Thus, I give him the blonde-haired, blue-eyed. She doesn't like me.

1:29:39 Adam Now, you like Brian though, right?

1:29:42 Caller Oh, Brian.

1:29:43 Drew Hello.

1:29:44 Caller So sexy.

1:29:46 Adam Yeah. He's albino.

1:29:50 Caller Well, for example, Drew, when I had the crush on him when I was 17 or so, I imagined him having jet black hair, green eyes.

1:30:01 Adam Who, Drew?

1:30:01 Caller Gold flexing them. And then one day you said that he was, you know, blonde hair, blue eyes. I'm going, damn it, Adam. You just ruined my entire vision of him.

1:30:10 Adam Well, let me tell you something. He would turn you around on fair skinned men. Tell you that right now. He's like Dolph Lundgren.

1:30:18 Caller I'm not saying that, you know, the only guys I've ever dated, even before I was blind with dark hair.

1:30:24 Drew What made you go through your car accident, weren't you?

1:30:27 Caller Yes, car accident, head injury.

1:30:29 Adam Right. And it did affect anything else? Just your sight? Because you sound very lucid.

1:30:34 Caller It also affected my right side. My right side is paralyzed by 30%. And my feet now, apparently the soft tissue was damaged. So I can only stand on them for maybe half an hour at a time before they go into excruciating pain.

1:30:52 Adam All right. Well, and you're blind. You see some light? Do you see light or are you completely blind?

1:30:59 Caller No, I don't see. I'm not really sure whether I see light or not. Because sometimes, you know, if you flip a light switch on, I can see it. But I have a light switch in my bedroom, which isn't attached to any light. And when I flip it on, I can see a light go on. So I think it's partly imagination and partly being able to see. I'm just not sure.

1:31:20 Adam Drew, what is that when you close your eyes, you know, even if you have vision, you see these sort of spots of light? Or am I the only guy who sees that?

1:31:28 Drew No, you do. Or if you push on your eyeball, you see light.

1:31:30 Adam Yeah, you push on them, you'll see it all. Yeah, it's a cheap pie.

1:31:34 Caller An interesting fact that I found out that a lot of times when people are born blind, right, they will actually push on their eye so that they can see the little spots of light that you're talking about. They actually shove their eye into the back of their head.

1:31:50 Adam Yeah.

1:31:51 Caller They push on it so much.

1:31:52 Adam Hey, Amber.

1:31:53 Drew Interesting.

1:31:55 Adam So, by the way, I like you. I like you a lot. Normally, I'm not a big fan of the blind. I got to be honest with you. I don't like folks with handicaps, but I do.

1:32:05 Drew That's true. He doesn't.

1:32:06 Adam I do. They make me nervous.

1:32:09 Drew They don't move their ass the way he'd like.

1:32:11 Adam Yeah. They don't drive as fast as I'd like them to drive. But you, I'm a big fan of, and I'll tell you something about Brian. I don't call him Brian. I call him Dreamy Brian. He's really a stone fox. That's what he looks like.

1:32:27 Brian Krause Dark hair.

1:32:28 Adam Yeah. Keep going.

1:32:30 Brian Krause I'm about 6'2.

1:32:31 Adam That's right.

1:32:33 Brian Krause I'm bulky in all the right places.

1:32:35 Adam It's kind of what you call broad at the shoulder, narrow at the hip. It's a nice V going.

1:32:41 Caller 6'2. My perfect man would be between 6 and 6'4.

1:32:47 Adam Yeah. Well, 6'2. That's right in there. Let me tell you something about Brian's build too. He's very muscular, but it's not one of these things where he got it from going to the gym or eating steroids. He looks like he's muscular from chopping wood all day.

1:33:01 Caller No. Let me tell you something.

1:33:02 Adam You know what I'm saying? Very strong back.

1:33:05 Caller Let me tell you something, Adam. I would love to go into the studio and just feel Drew from head to foot. Oh, that would be so nice.

1:33:13 Adam Yeah. All right.

1:33:14 Brian Krause Well, that's why I came and he wasn't here. He's in Kansas.

1:33:18 Adam Why don't you just go to his house and do it? So I don't have to watch you feel him.

1:33:23 Caller I don't think his wife would be too happy with that.

1:33:25 Adam Yeah. She'd probably have to think twice before punching out a blind chick, but I still think she'd do it. Yeah. She'd certainly beat the crap out of Drew. Drew would probably be blind in one eye after she smashed his orbital socket. The lamp. All right. Let's take a break. We got to take a break. The dreamy, dark haired, green eyed, broad shouldered and muscular, not over, not under 6'2. Brian Krause here and I from Charmed will be right back after this. All right, guys.

1:33:56 Drew Here's the deal. Look in the hookup. Call the dateline.

1:34:30 Adam Well, that's it, everybody. Painless. Drew, God bless you.

1:34:37 Drew Thank you.

1:34:38 Adam They contributed to the show nicely tonight. Can I give you that? On your A-game, by the way. Must be those college students. Where's Dr. Drew? He's in Kansas. Go push me, pull me.

1:34:50 Drew Push me, pull you.

1:34:52 Adam Remember that? What's that from Dr. What is that from? Dr. Drew Loveline. Dr. Drew Loveline. There was a push me, pull me?

1:34:59 Drew Pull you.

1:35:00 Adam Pull you. It's called pull you?

1:35:01 Drew Push me, pull you.

1:35:03 Adam It would be a good animal. Push me, pull my finger. Fart every time you pulled on it. Awesome. It was called a push me, pull you? Yep. All right. Look that up, Chris. All right, buddy. I want to thank Brian for coming out here tonight from Charmed, Sunday Nights, WB, 8 o'clock, 150th big episode in the can, as we like to say in the business. Charlie O'Connell, The Bachelor, is going to be in here tomorrow night. Good guy, good show. Got a million questions for him. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Brian Krauss, King of the Pedophile.

1:35:44 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station.

1:35:56 Adam The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:35:58 Caller Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005