Episode 1000683260069

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:14 Voiceover This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Yeah, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-ER. Dr. Drew, board certified physician and an addiction medicine specialist.

1:35 Drew Wow.

1:36 Adam Yeah. Well, you know, I've been swallowing that part. I decided to work on my addiction.

1:42 Drew Huh?

1:43 Adam Ironically, I turned the word work into worse.

1:46 Drew And addiction and addiction.

1:47 Adam And addiction. Did I do it that time?

1:50 Drew No, you were very clear.

1:52 Adam Thank you. Thank you, mahalo. Tonight, we were supposed to have What's Her Nose from What's That Show.

1:59 Drew Point Pleasant, which is Lauren's favorite show, too.

2:02 Adam Oh, it is.

2:03 Drew My wife's favorite show. It's Lauren's favorite show.

2:05 Adam Something happened. Rain, something.

2:08 Drew It rained in San Diego, so they couldn't film yesterday. They had to film today. She got stuck down there.

2:12 Adam All right.

2:13 Drew Rescheduling.

2:14 Adam Once to reschedule. Wanted to come in on Wednesday, but that's hot, hot heat night.

2:19 Drew That's right.

2:20 Adam And then she goes back. Then she goes back. So I don't know. We'll dig her out. Hopefully, the show won't get so hot, she won't get so big that we get her on the show real soon. And look at me, Drew. I dressed up.

2:32 Drew You did.

2:33 Adam I knew an attractive woman was coming in.

2:36 Drew Look at you.

2:36 Adam I put on a sweatshirt with a little cranky on it.

2:39 Drew A crank anchor sweatshirt.

2:40 Adam A beloved crank anchor shirt. I got my little-

2:43 Drew You have a nice clean gray T-shirt underneath. A crew neck.

2:46 Adam Yeah.

2:47 Drew Moccasins. What are the pants? Oh, yeah. It's the Puma pants you've been wearing for three weeks.

2:51 Adam I gave myself a nice shot with a moist towelette before I came in.

2:56 Drew After the skip roping? Jumpy rope?

2:58 Adam Didn't skip the rope tonight.

2:59 Drew Oh, okay.

3:00 Adam Just didn't have it in me.

3:02 Drew Well, the towelette cleaned you down nicely.

3:04 Adam Let me ask you something. Speaking of skipping rope, I got a ball that's hurting a little bit.

3:10 Drew A nut?

3:10 Adam A little bit. A little nut problem.

3:12 Drew Mm.

3:12 Adam A little bit. A little bit. Just one, but the thing about when the nut hurts, it just sort of, the nuts must have a root system that extend up to your brain.

3:21 Drew Yes, yes.

3:21 Adam And down to your toes.

3:22 Drew Oh, yes.

3:23 Adam Because a nut gets pinched a little, you can feel the roots just going on. I mean, you feel it going up the abdomen.

3:28 Drew Yeah, it goes right in your abdomen, yes. It's connected. It's the only thing that's outside your abdomen that's connected to the abdomen.

3:34 Adam That's dangerous.

3:34 Drew Yeah, that's why.

3:36 Adam Now, nothing happened. No trauma or anything. Just the other day, just a little...

3:40 Drew There could be a twist, a torsion.

3:42 Adam A little torsion.

3:43 Yeah, it's not good.

3:44 Adam Yeah, no.

3:44 Drew With your hernia, I wonder if it has something to do with that.

3:46 Adam Feels okay now.

3:48 Drew Good. You'll be fine.

3:49 Adam And I was cursing you, by the way, the other day. I know. I know there's a multitude of topics to curse you on, but this was your big buildup at the hernia.

3:57 Drew Oh, mine was awful.

3:58 Adam I was yelling at my wife that, you know, I got my hernia surgery that Drew warned me, well, quite frankly, I may never be right again. May not be able to do radio. I'm going to be crippled so badly. I reminded my wife that I had the hernia surgery at 5 in the afternoon and woke up mysteriously about 7 a.m. the following day.

4:19 Drew And hung curtain rods.

4:21 Adam Not curtain rods, hung a heavy mirrored closet doors. Swung them, like kind of two-man jobby kind of thing. Got up at 7 and swung them. No problem.

4:30 Drew Oh, my God.

4:31 Adam Bleeding profusely from the sack.

4:33 Drew I couldn't, I could not walk for two days.

4:35 Adam Well, here's the thing, we ain't cut out of the same cloth.

4:38 Drew No, clearly, clearly.

4:40 Adam You're cut out of taffeta.

4:41 Drew Taffeta, that's on a good day.

4:43 Adam You are cut out of a flirty handful of chiffon.

4:45 Drew Chiffon, chiffon is a little closer, yes.

4:47 Adam Where some sweat-stained burlap.

4:50 Drew Yeah, or that stiff taffeta, it's burlap.

4:53 Adam Yeah, I'm a mule skinner and you're like a dab at a ball.

4:58 Drew Yeah, it's bad times.

5:00 Adam All right, buddy.

5:01 Drew But I was interestingly revisiting that operation as I was un-gloving a man's penis on Saturday and thinking to myself, after we slide this ravioli in and pull his skin back over his penis to make it bigger, this guy's going to have some pain.

5:14 Adam Un-gloving to most of the people listening to the show means you're pulling the condom off your boyfriend.

5:18 Drew No, no.

5:18 Adam So you better explain that.

5:19 Drew This means pulling the skin off of the penis as though it were a glove.

5:23 Adam I always thought that was degloving.

5:25 Drew Degloving, yeah, degloving. You're right.

5:26 Adam All right, so pulling, when you deglove something, you could deglove your face, you could deglove your glove.

5:33 Drew Usually, it means an extremity that goes to zero. To zero, yeah.

5:38 Adam Okay, so pulling the skin off the penis. This is to assist the doctor who enlarged the penis.

5:46 Drew Yeah, so it was good times.

5:48 Adam What's the recovery rate? I mean, what do you need, a few weeks for something?

5:52 Drew Six weeks before they can have sex again.

5:54 Adam Oh, man.

5:55 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

5:57 Adam I could have done that standing on my head in high school.

5:59 Drew Six weeks?

6:00 Adam I would have laughed.

6:01 Drew Six weeks?

6:02 Adam Yeah.

6:03 Drew Before you started masturbating?

6:05 Adam Well.

6:05 Drew Oh, but they mean no masturbating? Oh, Adam, I mean, come on.

6:08 Adam Forget it, forget it. No way.

6:10 Drew Yeah.

6:10 Adam No way. The doctor, like, if I was in high school and I got the procedure, the doctor said, remember, no sex for six weeks. I would make it six years. I'm cool. And then I would have started to walk. I would have been heading toward the front door, sort of chuckling and shaking my head. And then he would have stopped me and said, and of course, you know, it means no masturbation too. And I grab him by the collar and throw him up against the wall.

6:31 What are you talking about?

6:35 Adam And that's when I go nuts.

6:36 Drew Yes.

6:37 Adam I do a thing where I knock over the medicine cabinet and start a fire. Running out in the street, my shirt torn, a bunch of Vicodin stuffed in my pocket, like the Hulk.

6:48 Drew Yeah.

6:49 Adam All right. Are you ready to go?

6:51 Drew One last thing. For everyone that gets on the air that's over 18, again, we're giving out the Saw DVDs, which came out this week. Those of you that get the DVD qualify for a trip to Derbyshire, England to see the Heavy Metal Concert of Bloodstock.

7:02 Adam Yeah. And what else, Drew?

7:03 Drew DVDs on sale today for Saw and every puzzle has its pieces.

7:07 Adam It does.

7:08 Drew Good times.

7:08 Adam I'll tell you what. Stacey?

7:12 Yes, sir.

7:13 Adam 22?

7:14 Yep.

7:15 Adam What's up?

7:17 Um, it's kind of an embarrassing, I guess, because when I'm having sex, right when I'm getting ready to climax, I feel very gassy. And I don't know.

7:32 Drew Do you actually produce?

7:34 Yeah, I mean, I do. And I'm almost afraid that sometimes it might be a little more.

7:42 Drew More than just gas? Yeah, that's right.

7:45 Adam Wow.

7:46 Yeah, so, um, world.

7:50 Adam Yeah, although he can do that. I bang the S out of knowing men.

7:55 Drew A guy at first would be sort of privileged to produce this. You know, they'd feel like, yeah, yeah. And then it'd be bad times.

8:05 Adam Yeah.

8:05 Yeah.

8:06 Drew You're good for about one round with that. And then, yeah, better deal with that.

8:09 Adam You have a boyfriend?

8:11 Yes.

8:12 Drew All right. Have you ever? What? What's the worst thing that's happened so far?

8:17 Um, well, I've passed gas and then just a little, like, just, like, this type of stuff has come out. But, I mean, I stopped myself.

8:27 Is he OK with it?

8:28 Not really. I mean, I stopped myself from having a, you know, complete, you know, kickass orgasm before anything can happen because I'm too scared something might happen.

8:36 Adam You gotta hold it in.

8:37 Drew Can you give yourself an enema beforehand and sort of keep it all? I mean, I'm sure that's what people, no, but I'm sure people do that kind of thing if they're gonna have anal sex and stuff and just clean it out and...

8:47 Adam What do they do at the hospital when you're having a baby? Do they give you an enema?

8:51 Drew Sometimes.

8:51 Adam They do? Uh-huh.

8:52 Drew I'd request that. Or they just let this off swirl.

8:56 Adam Does it go quite often?

8:57 Drew Yeah, the baby's crap and everywhere, too.

8:59 Adam Oh, really?

8:59 Drew It's called meconium, then. It's called meconium.

9:02 Adam Meconium?

9:03 Drew It's baby poo in the birth canal.

9:06 Adam Oh, really? Wow.

9:07 Drew And it's bad times, because they can breathe it in. To get a meconium aspiration.

9:11 Adam They discovered radio and crapping in the poop canal. Quite versatile. So, wait a minute, the baby craps in the birth canal?

9:18 Drew That was Marconi, not Meconi.

9:20 Adam I don't know. I think it's the same dude. The same guy. You guys got range. That's all I'm saying. Listen, Drew, coming out of the birth canal squeezes the child.

9:33 Drew Yeah, and squeezes the ass out of him.

9:35 Adam Like toothpaste, right? How often, and Drew, be realistic here, and if you don't know, tell me, but how often does that happen?

9:44 Drew I believe that Meconium is not uncommon at all. The problem is that they get involved in Meconium and aspirate it and stuff. That's when there's a problem.

9:54 Adam Yeah, I know, but this happens.

9:56 Drew The Meconium aspirations are pretty uncommon these days.

9:59 Adam But this happens through 50% of the birth, 20% of the birth.

10:03 Drew I can't keep that number.

10:04 Adam You never really see it in the movies.

10:07 Drew I'll guess.

10:07 Adam It's never covered with crap when they hold it up.

10:09 Drew Well, all that stuff that's in there, it's in there.

10:14 Adam One more reason not to film.

10:15 Drew I'll guess at least 50%. I'm going to guess.

10:17 Adam Wow. That's a guess. And how often do the ladies give birth to a...

10:21 Drew That's the number I don't know. Soft swirl?

10:24 Adam Yeah.

10:24 Drew That's the number I ain't got. But Stacey is prepping for that.

10:29 Adam Well, Stacey seems like a candidate for that because if she can't handle a penis without a little something coming out, imagine a kid's head. Stacey.

10:39 Yes.

10:39 Adam I've got that to look forward to.

10:41 Drew But what about an anima or something? Just preparing yourself so you don't have to worry about this.

10:47 Well, I've never had one before. I mean...

10:49 Drew You just gave yourself a fleet anima. They're called fleets. They're just a plain old little body squirt and it's a fleet anima.

10:54 Adam You don't have to hang it on the door.

10:56 Drew No, you don't need that kind of anima. It's the fleets.

10:57 Adam Oh, okay. Yeah, try that. And then what about it, Drew? I mean, what if you just try to go but nothing comes out?

11:04 Drew Beforehand?

11:05 Adam Well, it's not like urinating, is it?

11:09 Drew No, it's a little less of an exact science.

11:11 Adam I mean, urination's like, okay, I got to go on a long car trip. I'm either going to go see a play or something. I'm going to drain my fluid and then I'll sit down. I'll be uninterrupted. Right.

11:21 Drew There's something called a mass movement that takes it and pushes it into the anal ampulla.

11:26 Adam Right. So, you may not have anything on deck.

11:29 Drew Ready to go.

11:30 Adam Nothing's ready to go.

11:31 Drew It's in the hole, as it were, but not quite on deck yet.

11:34 Adam Right. So, you could then go on your long car ride and it could slide on deck.

11:38 Drew All of a sudden, it's on deck.

11:39 Adam Right. And there's no way you can push it from on deck in the hole.

11:42 Drew Because that's not skeletal muscle that does that.

11:44 Adam Or in the hold on deck.

11:45 Drew It's sort of smooth muscle, not autonomic stuff that does that.

11:48 Adam What if you punch yourself in the stomach and you go, come on!

11:50 Drew Could try that. It might do a little something. Still jump roping? Yeah.

11:54 Adam A little up and down. I want to talk to this guy. Jason?

11:57 Yes.

11:59 Adam Hello? You're 20 or 300 pounds?

12:01 Caller Yes.

12:02 Well, close to it.

12:03 Adam All right.

12:05 Caller I had a question for Dr. Drew. What's the most weight you should be to get the gastric bypass?

12:12 Drew 100 pounds over your ideal body weight. You're in there. You're in. Plus, I can hear in your voice. You must have other complications, too. I mean, his voice quality. Listen. I mean, it's...

12:22 Adam All I hear is virgin coming through.

12:24 Drew Well, no. I hear estrogen coming through, which means all the adipose tissue.

12:28 Adam Yeah.

12:28 Drew Well, adipose tissue. Lactating. Well, just kind of comastia, small testes, all that stuff.

12:33 Adam Yeah, because you get fat, you get circulating adipose tissue.

12:38 Drew Which is what your fat is, converts testosterone to estrogen.

12:43 Adam Jason? Yes. You do got a little cheeky. Do you have hair on you? Yeah, I do. You do? All right.

12:51 Drew Well, I think if you've tried, I mean, obviously we recommend first trying dietician and exercise program. And really, you saw the biggest loser, people lost an amazing amount of weight on that show when they really did the work.

13:02 Adam How tall are you?

13:03 Caller About 5'3, 5'4.

13:05 Drew Oh, that's more than 100 pounds over your ideal body weight.

13:09 Caller Oh, yeah, I know.

13:10 Drew That's like 150 pounds over.

13:12 Adam Hold on, let me talk to engineer Chris. Chris, look up the body mass index.

13:20 Body mass index, okay.

13:21 Adam Body mass index.

13:24 Drew BMI.

13:24 Adam Sometimes there's some confusion, so I'm going to put a fine point on it. For tonight's show. All right?

13:30 Not tomorrow? Okay.

13:31 Adam Tonight's show. All right. Sometimes, usually, here's how it works. 20 minutes later, we turn to Chris and go, what's going on with that BMI? And he goes, huh? We got the body mass index. And he goes, yeah?

13:42 Caller We got it.

13:43 Got it already?

13:44 Caller No, I mean.

13:44 Adam He's got it.

13:45 Drew He's got the message.

13:47 Adam Because the thing is, is that, you know, five, three, that, by the way, that body mass index needs to be re-calibrated. It just does. People are bigger. And I don't mean fatter. I just think they're bigger. Guys are bigger. People are sort of stronger and thicker and they weigh more. That thing was done in 1941 or something. I mean, you know, they used to, Frank Sinatra was, you know, at 19 was the ideal size for a guy who was 5'11. You know, I mean, I swear to God, I've seen those shows and the chicks are sitting there. They're going, how old are you, sir? And how tall are you? I'm five, nine and a half. All right. You should be between 153 and 159. Every guy knows 5'10, is 190, 185, and the thin guys are 180 at 5'9.

14:42 Drew How can this be? And you superimpose the guys that are even at the outskirts of that normative scatter who are like 2'40, with no fat on them at 5'10.

14:52 Adam The brothers, I know, Jerome Bettis, 2'65, 5'10. They got to get one going for Samoans and black guys and stuff. Those poor guys can't be stuffed in the white guy one. You show me Samoan guys, you know, 5'10, and 1'30, I'll show you guys dying of AIDS.

15:11 Drew Yes, yes.

15:12 Adam Those guys.

15:12 Drew You know Hawaiian guys.

15:15 Adam Those guys got 50 pounds worth of calf on them.

15:18 Drew Absolutely.

15:19 Adam Don't forget about it.

15:20 Drew Their Achilles' worth 12 pounds.

15:21 Adam Yeah, at least. Jason?

15:23 Caller Yeah.

15:24 Drew All right. So gastric bypass is a good idea, but first it's always important to have tried everything else.

15:30 Adam Are you a virgin?

15:32 Caller Yeah.

15:33 Adam You are? Can you speak up a little bit, please?

15:35 Caller Yeah. Okay.

15:37 Adam Okay. Now, are you into anything goofy like Lord of the Rings or Star Trek or something like that?

15:44 Caller No. I mean, I'm a big movie guy, but...

15:47 Yeah.

15:47 Drew Have you had an endocrinologic evaluation? I mean, sort of short body stature? Are there other things that could be going on here?

15:54 Well, no.

15:54 Caller I mean, I don't have any insurance to go to the doctor.

15:57 Drew Oh, boy. Do you have high blood pressure?

15:59 Caller No. No.

16:01 Adam How do you know you don't have high blood pressure?

16:03 Well, I just gave blood a couple weeks ago.

16:05 Caller They said I didn't have any normal, any higher than any normal.

16:09 Drew Diabetes?

16:10 Caller No.

16:11 Drew All right. That's going to happen soon.

16:14 Adam Is your family overweight?

16:16 Caller My sister is. My mom used to be.

16:19 Drew Did she have a gastric bypass?

16:21 Caller No. She just lost it on her own.

16:23 Drew No. Good for her. All right.

16:24 Adam Now, did you try losing weight?

16:27 Caller I've tried off and on and just gave up.

16:31 Adam What is your plan or what was your plan?

16:34 Caller Well, what do you mean by plan? Like how much weight I wanted to lose?

16:38 Adam No. Just what was your weight loss plan? I mean, your regimen.

16:42 Caller Cut back on eating, more exercise.

16:44 Adam All right. Here's the thing. I've, I see these, you know, I watch these shows, these 2020 and all these new news magazines every Friday night because I'm determined to sit home and get drunk on Friday nights. Of course. Well, you know, the New Year's Resort.

17:00 Drew You're right. I remember that.

17:02 Adam So they do these things every three weeks where it's like, we took this one guy, we put him on the Atkins diet, put the other guy on the South Beach diet, put another guy on just, you know, exercise and whatever, put everyone on everything and everyone does. Basically, the Atkins works pretty good, but people seem to just put it back on as soon as they get back on the carbs. And there's really, it seems sort of, if you're planning on making it to 85, you not eating any carbs for four months and losing a bunch of weight, and then going back, going off of it and gaining the weight back on just seems inherently flawed.

17:37 Drew Right, the idea of low fat, low cal, high fruit and vegetable, very simple.

17:43 Adam It just keeps getting back to what it is. Eat the stuff that doesn't taste that great. Don't try to cut corners with all the, these potato chips have no fat in them. They're made with this chemical. That's a sort of chemical substitute part. You know, oh, these cookie nut fudge bars are made with saccharin and low calorie. It's just that. Just eats, you know, you know what the deal is. And here's the thing, by the way, not that bad if you do it right. I mean.

18:12 Drew Actually, you start not liking the very, very rich stuff. Well. It tastes, it's not, it's like.

18:18 Adam Well, if you do, well, if you do, I mean, like, if you think about it.

18:22 Drew I beg your pardon.

18:22 Adam You're ready to talk and I, all right. Here's the thing. You can, that's great producing.

18:27 Drew Yes.

18:28 Adam Just holding the picture up that says.

18:29 Drew Saw. Sell the Saw DVD.

18:31 Adam You already did it. Hey, here's the thing. You can have yourself a nice piece of fish and some broccoli or some asparagus or something like that. Put a little butter, a little lemon, a little whatever. Stuff really, I mean, you can sort of have your cake and eat a two par in the pan except for you can't really eat your cake. But go make yourself a nice steak and have some broccoli. It tastes good. It's better than the weird sort of Weight Watchers, Linguini with clam sauce made with Allegra.

19:03 Drew That's right.

19:04 Adam You know, or Lestra or whatever the hell that stuff is. That's something else. But you know what I'm saying?

19:08 Drew Yes, yes.

19:09 Adam Just go get yourself a piece of fish and put a little broccoli, put a little lemon on it. It's not bad.

19:14 Drew That's right.

19:15 Adam All right. And then you got to go do some exercise.

19:17 Drew Well, that's the key, by the way.

19:19 Adam And that's about it. That's it.

19:21 Drew That's about it.

19:22 Adam And look, you know what you have to eat. It's got to, if it tastes a little crappy, go eat it.

19:26 Drew You've got to be a little bit hungry. So you can't be stuffing yourself all the time. Let's go to the candy machine.

19:32 Adam Chris, what do you got on the body mass index?

19:34 Caller I have it right here.

19:35 Adam You do?

19:35 Caller Yes.

19:36 Adam All right, male.

19:37 Caller Well, no, it's just height and inches and stuff.

19:40 Adam Yeah, okay. They have to have males, though, right?

19:45 Drew I think you're looking for ideal body weight, which is different than body mass index.

19:48 Caller It's just determining your body mass index.

19:50 Drew It's a little different. That's not the calculation.

19:52 Adam Well, what do you have? All right, so what do you got?

19:55 Caller How, what's the height in inches?

19:56 Adam All right, let's go.

19:58 Drew 5'10 we've been using.

19:59 Adam All right, so that's 70 inches.

20:03 Caller 70 inches, okay.

20:04 Adam Yeah, 72 is six foot. That's 70 inches. Does it give you a weight for 70 inches?

20:11 Caller Yeah, for what age?

20:13 Adam Let's say 25, or between 25 and 30 or something like that. There's no male-female distinction.

20:21 Caller That's good.

20:22 Adam There's no male-female distinction.

20:24 Caller Say like 174.

20:26 Adam For male.

20:28 Caller It doesn't determine male or female.

20:29 Drew Maybe go over there a little bit.

20:30 Adam Drew, hop on over to the computer, would you, buddy? Yeah. And punch Chris, if you would. All right, I'm going to get back to the phones over here. Let's see. Inverted uterus. I don't want to talk to her. 300 pounds. Ah, wants to have sex. Germany, Florida. Drew, you can play that from over there.

20:49 Drew Lauren?

20:49 Yes.

20:50 Adam You're 29?

20:51 Caller Yes.

20:52 Adam What's up?

20:53 Caller I've got a piece here entitled Honey, Remember to Turn On the Rooster Booster.

21:00 Adam All right. Is that in Germany or Florida?

21:03 Caller Yes, it is.

21:04 Adam All right, go ahead and give us a Germany or Florida.

21:06 Caller Before leaving on vacation, a couple set up a loud speaker and timer with the sound of a curling rooster to blast their neighbors every morning. Yeah, nice. After complaints, police obtained a warrant to enter the house and discovered the gear with the speakers aimed at the neighbors and rigged to a timer. The apparatus switched down between 2 and 4 o'clock in the morning and produced a rooster crowing at an enormous volume. It could last for 20 minutes with breaks in between, police said. Police compensated the gear and charged the vacationers who are still away with bodily harm and disturbing the peo... disturbing the peace. The neighbors had no history of antagonism.

21:57 Adam Wow.

21:58 Caller Germany or Florida?

21:59 Adam Florida. No history of antagonism. I mean, it seems like you'd have to have some bad blood. You'd have to be like Hatfield and McCoy type stuff. I just had a scary thought. Chris, you know the Hatfields and the McCoys are? No. No.

22:13 Drew Okay. Oh. Scary thought would have been if you'd actually know what you're talking about.

22:16 Adam We're officially old. Here's the thing. Feels Floridian, although where do Floridians go on vacation? You know what I mean? You're already living in Florida. They want a vacation. Germans aren't this inconsiderate.

22:31 Drew Germans would, it wouldn't be something so redneckish. Not so redneckish.

22:35 Adam Yeah. It's redneckish, but it's also sort of high tech. There's timers and speakers involved. Yeah. You know what I mean? It feels Florida to me. It feels Florida to you?

22:45 Drew Yeah.

22:45 Adam All right. We're going, we're going Florida.

22:49 Caller It's actually Berlin, Germany.

22:51 Drew Oh my God.

22:52 Adam Wow. Uncomfortable. We're going to have to edit that out of the show. Thanks, Lauren. Sorry. You won't be able to hear yourself. What's that?

23:03 Caller Hello from the...

23:05 Adam Okay.

23:05 Drew What does that mean?

23:06 Adam I have no idea. Why sink ourselves deeper? What do you got over there?

23:11 Drew I'm computing the BMI. We're going to go with somebody. Five, ten. How much you want them to weigh? They'll say 195 just for the sake of whatever one weighs.

23:18 Adam Okay.

23:18 Drew Okay. And we're going to compute it. All right. But it's 28. And then 28 if somebody is 70 inches.

23:28 Adam It's five, ten.

23:29 Drew Yeah. Yeah. This is you're right. This is we need a separate thing for people that aren't white. This doesn't work.

23:37 Adam Yeah. Well, why? Why? What's 28?

23:40 Drew Well, I'm just looking at that they're saying 70 inches in 28. You should be should be weighing 195 pounds is what I put in the computer. Right. And if you were 70 inches and 210 pounds, let's say your BMI would be 30.

23:52 Adam Right.

23:54 Drew And you would be obese.

23:56 Adam You'd be obese.

23:59 Drew And if your waist was over 40 inches or even less than 40 inches, you'd be at high risk for various kinds of medical diseases like hypertension and diabetes.

24:07 Adam But can't you find a breakdown chart that just says the guys and the girls and what your height is and what your weight should be? Is there one that's injury to slide down to your right and slide to the right?

24:18 Drew That's ideal body weight. Let me get that.

24:20 Adam Go find that. Go find that.

24:21 Drew All right.

24:21 Adam We got to take ourselves a break. Drew's got a little homework. I got a little plug for myself, by the way.

24:28 Drew Hey, Adam.

24:28 Adam Hmm. Yeah. I'm doing a I'm doing it. It's funny you say, hey, Adam. I'm doing a TV show this Friday, doing a little pilot for Comedy Central. And we need your questions. So if you want to get involved with it, you want to get some of your questions on the air. You just call 1-866-HEY-ADAM. Hey, that's a name. Adam 866-HEY-ADAM. 866-HEY-ADAM. And you get on a little TV show we're doing Friday. All right, we'll take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll talk to Veronica with the Inverted Uterus after this. Hey, buddy, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Hot, hot heat in here tomorrow night. We... Anderson Diggs, hot, hot heat.

25:22 Drew Oh, does he?

25:23 Adam I think I like hot, hot heat too. Where the hell did I see those guys? On Kimmel? Have they been in here before?

25:30 Drew I think so.

25:31 Adam Let's pretend like they have. No. Yeah, right?

25:33 Drew When they come in, yes, of course. No.

25:35 Caller Hey, buddy.

25:36 Adam Anderson says no.

25:38 Drew Really? If you say so.

25:41 Adam All right. Let's talk to Veronica with the Inverted Uterus.

25:46 Caller Veronica? Yes. How are you?

25:49 Caller Good.

25:51 Adam Maybe it's just your body that's upside down. You think about that? Why blame the uterus? Maybe it's facing the right way.

25:57 Drew Maybe it's everything else here. Yeah.

25:59 Adam You don't know.

26:00 Drew What's the question?

26:01 Caller Okay. I'm married and I feel that for the most part, I have a normal sex life, except that I can't climax through regular intercourse. Oral sex is no problem.

26:17 Drew That would make you a normal female.

26:20 Caller Really?

26:20 Drew Most women. That is the way it is for most women.

26:24 Caller Okay. I was told by my doctor after going to them when I was pregnant that my uterus was tipped.

26:35 Drew Which is also common. Most women never have an orgasm with intercourse and these flipped inverted uteruses are very common. It has nothing to do with your orgasmic function at all unless you have pain with intercourse and that usually is with deeper penetration when you kind of feel the uterus flop back.

26:51 Adam And I will tip a uterus, true, if I can get the deep penetration.

26:55 Drew You will tip it?

26:56 Adam 20% usually. If it was good sex, 20-25% depending on how the service was.

27:04 Drew Oh, I see, I see.

27:05 Adam How the service was. It's important. They need to tip out the cervix and the fallopian tubes. So it's not all.

27:11 Drew Yes.

27:12 Adam They don't pocket the whole thing. Of course. Yeah. Busboys. All right, go ahead, Veronica.

27:18 Caller Well, I mean, okay, well, you're saying it's normal, but for me it's just, you know, I think it's starting to kind of get to my husband. And the fact that, you know, that that's all he can do for me. It's, you know, I don't know if it's...

27:30 Oral?

27:32 Caller I mean, I think he enjoys it. He doesn't have a problem doing it, but it's, I feel that he's starting to, it's, you know, like, well, he can't, you know, please me any other way. You know what I mean?

27:43 Drew But if he expects something different, he has to look for something other than a human female, because that's true of most women. And that if he has a problem with that, but that's his problem.

27:55 Adam All right, but he, you enjoy sex with him, right?

27:59 Caller Oh, absolutely, I love him, you know, and I know he loves me.

28:02 Adam All right, it's time to relax with that then.

28:04 Caller Yeah.

28:05 Adam Just getting frustrated. I don't trust these guys where the woman's orgasm sort of becomes their orgasm. Right, right. It's like their quest.

28:13 Caller Right.

28:14 Adam It's their holy grail. They feel betrayed if the woman disappointed, a little languid and resentful.

28:20 Drew You know what I think it is? I think the guys feel that, well, somebody's done that to her or somebody should be able to do that to her. Therefore, I got to be the one before somebody else gets there. Yeah. You know what I kind of think it's sort of a territoriality impulse, which is I got to be the one to give her this.

28:35 Adam For me, it's like decorating a condemned building. Like, yeah, I don't have to try anymore. It's good since this thing's coming down.

28:45 Drew It's over.

28:45 Adam It's over.

28:46 Drew There you go.

28:46 Adam It's done.

28:47 Drew Now let's get on with it.

28:48 Adam None of them are coming back. That's it. They're all gone. That's for me. It's like, hey, pressure's off. They're not going anywhere. It kind of reminds me of high school. Where are you going?

28:58 Drew Yeah. Why take that test? Most women really like oral sex. I mean, some of them genuinely enjoy it.

29:04 Adam Give them a nice stare. That's right.

29:06 Drew That's why I was talking to a woman at Discovery Health Channel. I was describing this sort of orgasmic thing and I was saying, you know, these women have multiple, multiple orgasms or just repeated one after the other, don't like oral sex, which is true. They just don't really do much for them. And she was like, what, what, what, what, what?

29:22 Adam Oh, right, she didn't understand it.

29:23 Drew I can't, huh? And I was like, yeah, no, no. She was like, and I was like, well, say no more.

29:29 Adam Yeah, yeah. She wasn't one of them.

29:32 Drew No, exactly.

29:32 Adam Yeah. Listen, Frigidaire, how about give me some crushed ice from your coos, Frigidaire? Nothing coming out of you.

29:43 Drew Yeah. 1866, hey Adam. There you go.

29:45 Adam That's right.

29:46 Drew That's right.

29:46 Adam That's where you get on the show. Hey, but also-

29:49 Drew Did you give the website to adamcrollleatyahoo.com?

29:52 Adam No, I didn't do that.

29:53 Drew That's pretty funny.

29:54 Adam I'm not a computer guy. Here's the thing, Drew.

29:57 Drew What?

29:57 Adam Thanks for the plug. Here's the thing. You as a passionate man, aren't really into receiving oral.

30:04 Drew No.

30:05 Adam Because it's like, it's all right, but it's not your destination.

30:10 Drew Into it, but not into it.

30:11 Adam Not your final destination, not where you need to go.

30:13 Drew No, no, no.

30:13 Adam You're too passionate. Yeah. And I now realize that the guys who really aren't that into receiving oral are just the opposite of guys who aren't that into ladies or aren't that into sex. They're too much into it. They are guys that are such, they're such burger lovers, they throw out the bun. It's like, oh, you don't like burgers? No, I love them that much. I don't want anything getting in the way. Women with the oral is this, they're sort of this way too. They like, they're so orgasmic that the idea of oral is this sort of, ah, it's so much parsley on the side of the plate. Let's get to it.

30:50 Drew Right.

30:51 Adam All right.

30:52 Drew But they're even sometimes sort of irritated by it. It does nothing for them. But some guys are that way too.

30:57 Adam But imagine the hand dealt to the guy who gets to hook up with this broad because not only do you have that sort of, you know, kind of King Kong feeling through the multiple waves of orgasm you induce from this woman, but in meanwhile, a tiparillo would have the same effect, but who cares? You're the guy it's attached to. Right. But also, it doesn't care for the oral. You know what I'm saying? Wow.

31:26 Drew It's good times.

31:28 Adam Tony?

31:29 Yep.

31:30 Adam Sixteen?

31:31 Caller Yes, I am.

31:32 Adam What's up?

31:34 I was wondering, I'm taking Concerta for ADHD. And I was wondering how pot and shrooms would possibly affect that.

31:43 Drew Well, it's complicated. And I'm not sure anyone can answer that for you in a very accurate way except to say that ADHD is oftentimes a marker for addiction. And if you have a family history of addiction and you're smoking a lot of pot and doing a lot of mushrooms and you have ADHD, this is part of the evolution of addiction here too. Okay. Mushrooms are going to destabilize your ADHD and going to cause mood disturbances. Pot probably can interfere with the effect of the concerta, but not in a big way, not a big deal, but you're going to get addicted to the pot and then you're going to have a separate problem. Good times.

32:25 Adam Aaron?

32:26 Hi guys.

32:27 Adam Hi Aaron.

32:29 Caller I talked to you guys about a month and a half ago. I don't know if you remember. I was in the penis soccer ball.

32:35 Adam I do and it's been too long, brother.

32:37 Caller Yeah. I went to the doctor. The urologist like Drew told me to and it turned out one of my nuts had died.

32:48 Drew Yep. I told you.

32:49 Caller And they scheduled me right then and there and I had it taken out a couple of days later.

32:55 Adam It had died because you waited too long to get to the hospital to get help?

33:01 Caller I assume so. When I had talked to you guys, it had happened I think about 10 days beforehand.

33:08 Drew Yeah. That's too long.

33:09 Adam What happens? Blood supply gets cut off or what?

33:12 Drew Yeah. It just is crushed.

33:14 Caller That's what he told me.

33:15 Drew Yeah. Blood supply gets cut off.

33:16 Adam Wow.

33:17 Drew Yeah.

33:18 Caller I was wondering, Drew, if you could tell me a little bit about prosthetics.

33:23 Drew I don't know much about them. I know I've seen people with them. I had a patient that had an acrylic prosthetic once, and I know they have various kinds of latex prosthetics, and usually they put them in, I thought, at the same time as they're getting rid of your testy. They didn't give you an option like that?

33:36 Caller No. They just wanted to get it out right away.

33:39 Drew Yeah. It can be a problem.

33:40 Adam Yeah. They probably have to send away to Germany for the nautical.

33:46 Drew Nautical.

33:47 Adam Well, they had those things for dogs.

33:49 Drew Yes. You're right.

33:51 Adam I imagine it's the same technology.

33:53 Drew Yes. Makes sense.

33:54 Adam Although, you definitely want to step up to the St. Bernard. Of course. And the New Finland types and not the lap dog guys.

34:01 Drew Yeah.

34:02 Adam You know what I mean?

34:02 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

34:03 Adam As long as you're going, you go big. Yeah. Aaron. Yeah. Well, that's rough, number one. Number two, so you don't need both your nut balls.

34:14 Drew But he wants just for appearance's sake.

34:16 Adam I understand. But now, the only thing, you have two, you can get along with one, but you can't get along with none. You got to protect the one you got now, right?

34:26 Drew Soccer's over.

34:27 Caller Yeah. I don't think I'll be playing much soccer now.

34:31 Adam No. From now on, it's just freestyle skateboarding where you do a lot of rail work.

34:37 Caller Okay.

34:38 Adam Yeah. Like those guys who go down those staircases on the railing.

34:42 Caller Hey guys, I didn't get to tell you last time, but big fans and I just love your work.

34:48 Thanks.

34:49 Adam All right. Well, thanks, Aaron. You know, go on the Internet. You can find that kind of stuff.

34:54 Okay.

34:54 Adam Thanks. All right, buddy boy. Yeah. I mean, Drew, when they pull that out, I know they were in a hurry to get the thing out, but shouldn't they?

35:02 Drew I would think. I've never done that procedure. I've only done a penis enlargement. Yeah. You would think. But again, they may need some healing or something before they can put it in there. I don't know. That has strangely bogus quality to it by the way.

35:18 Adam A little bit. I don't know. Oh, who cares? Alexandra?

35:21 Caller Yeah. Yep.

35:24 Adam What's up, baby? Why are you so angry?

35:26 Drew No, she's sad.

35:27 Adam She's sad?

35:28 Caller Sad?

35:29 No, angry is good.

35:30 Drew Angry is good?

35:31 Caller Okay.

35:31 Angry is good, yeah. So I got involved with this 46-year-old guy who I met in a psych ward.

35:37 Drew You're 21.

35:38 Caller Yeah, I am.

35:40 Drew Good times.

35:41 Caller David on my part. So now he's like seeing this other woman and she's like exactly like me, but older and a nurse and I want to get into medicine and I'm bipolar and she attempted suicide some years back and was in a psych ward and she's Greek. I'm Greek. Like he's dating me, but I broke up with him like a month ago.

36:02 Drew Good.

36:03 Caller What's your question? And then I kept seeing him and kept sleeping with him, which was really bad.

36:07 Drew Yes.

36:08 Caller And so now he's like wanting an apartment key back, which I never used. And he's like, yeah, I don't know, whatever.

36:16 Caller So what about his apartment?

36:18 Drew He wants to give you his apartment back?

36:19 Caller He gave me his apartment key and he wants it back now. And he chose really poor timing because I took like 15 Vico-Prophen, which is kind of like Vicodin with ibuprofen in it. And then Tylenol and I drank on it. So yeah, I was pretty sick. So he knows that. And I really cut myself pretty badly over this. Don't ask why, it's stupid. And-

36:41 Drew All right, Alexandra. When was the last time you saw your psychiatrist?

36:46 Caller Last week, but I'm ongoing to a med change.

36:49 Drew You sure are. And you're hypomanic right now. Yeah. Yeah. And what are you taking right now?

36:54 Caller Geodon, Lamyctal and Vistaral for sleep.

36:59 Drew And the Lamyctal is being adjusted?

37:01 Caller No, the Lamyctal is fine. It's the Geodon. The Geodon. I switched from Respiratol to Geodon.

37:05 Drew You switched from Respiratol to Geodon, all right.

37:07 Caller I switched from Respiratol to Geodon, yeah.

37:08 Adam Yeah.

37:08 Drew Well, you need to call your doctor and tell you that you're still having racing thoughts and pressure speech and all that stuff.

37:13 Adam What's up?

37:14 Caller It's really, really bad. It's really annoying.

37:17 Drew Are you taking speed or something?

37:19 Caller No.

37:19 Drew No, nothing to really destabilize things other than alcohol.

37:22 Adam What was the deal with all the pills you took?

37:24 Caller Pills?

37:25 Yeah.

37:26 Caller Well, I have a little problem with pain pills. I haven't really been able to get off of them. And I have chronic back pain, so they keep prescribing them to me.

37:34 Drew Yeah. Well, you need a little recovery, Brittany.

37:36 Adam By the way, a 21-year-old chick with chronic back pain, that's just an addict. What would you do? Years of working on the docs?

37:43 Caller No skin accident, but yeah, I'm just an addict, basically.

37:45 Drew Right. So let's get some recovery going here.

37:48 Adam Well, the pain will go away if you take care of your addiction.

37:51 Caller Yeah.

37:51 Drew And as long as you're using drugs, it's very difficult to control your bipolarity.

37:56 Caller Yeah.

37:56 Drew So let's get going here. Let's get it going, huh?

37:59 Adam Hey, let's go. Come on, Alexander.

38:01 Drew NA program.

38:02 Adam You're 21 for the love of Christ.

38:04 Drew I'm sure you've been exposed to 12-step at your various hospitalizations. Let's just make some calls, get back to the meetings, detox, let's go.

38:12 Adam Yeah, but listen, you're 21, you made a couple of bad choices, you got strung out, now you clean yourself up and you go have a good life.

38:20 Caller Yeah.

38:20 Adam No big deal.

38:21 Caller I don't know, I'm still in this little phase of like maybe I don't need a recovery program, you know? My therapist wants me to go into this recovery program and I really don't want to go.

38:28 Drew Let me tell you for sure.

38:29 Adam Well, that's good.

38:29 Drew You need it. There's no doubt about it.

38:31 Adam Your argument of I don't want to go is not really a compelling argument in terms of recovery.

38:36 Drew Yes. To be super clear, none of these psychiatric... You're going to become a chronic, disabled, psychiatric patient if you don't take matters into your own hands.

38:45 Adam Don't dance with this guy by the way anymore. You know what I mean? He was just a bad decision you made when you were high.

38:51 Drew He's more of a part of your addiction, exactly.

38:53 Caller Yeah. I was on pain pills when I even started seeing him.

38:56 Drew That's what we're saying. It's part of your addiction.

38:58 Caller Yeah.

38:58 Drew You have horrible decision making when you're loaded and when you're in your disease. Let's keep going. Come on.

39:03 Adam You know what you need? You need to listen to classical music.

39:07 Caller I do.

39:08 Adam Yeah. Mellie, you're right out.

39:10 Caller It doesn't work because I listen to people who are manic-depressive. They are kind of rambunctious at times.

39:18 Adam Yeah. I was talking about music, but that's all right.

39:20 Caller Yeah, I know.

39:21 Adam All right. Well, listen to a little classical music and take a walk, would you?

39:25 Caller I like walking.

39:26 Adam Yeah. Okay. There you go.

39:27 Drew Walk to a 12-step meeting.

39:29 Adam Well, I actually run. Run to a 12-step meeting.

39:32 Drew I like running.

39:35 Adam In a way, it's satisfying. On the other hand, it's like being with a prostitute.

39:41 Drew You know? What?

39:42 Adam Well, just her sort of agreement.

39:43 Drew Yeah, I know. That's what I was just thinking. The horrible thing about Alexandra is she is treatable. These are treatable conditions. Yeah. This is the source of frustration in my professional life, which is all people have to do is follow direction. That's all they have to do is have a tiny shred of willingness and just follow some misdirection and do what they need to do to get better and they will get better.

40:04 Adam Yeah.

40:04 Drew But no, no, no, no, no. You can't tell them what to do.

40:07 Adam People aren't as interested in change. I was talking to my shrink about this today. Not as interested in change as I'm interested in them changing, I realize. As a matter of fact, they have almost zero interests in change, whereas I have a very vested interest in almost everyone changing. And I realize it's just a horrible, torturous life for me trying to get everyone to do something I want them to do. But as human beings, everybody, that's really one of your greatest assets. If you think about it, owls don't change too much, moose don't change too much. The animal kingdom, especially reptiles.

40:43 Drew Humans can really change.

40:44 Adam Yeah, like gators and snakes. Almost zero change.

40:48 Drew Not too many options. Hippos?

40:50 Adam Yeah. Hippo, there's some that are flexible. Some.

40:54 Drew Yeah. We've seen them all learn ballet.

40:56 Adam Right. The point is as a person, you really do what you want. Yeah. In a fairly short period of time, you get it together, year goes by, pal. You're doing something or you can do what most people do. Just lock it in, blame everyone, and ride that funicular right into the ground. Ride that right to your grave. Yeah.

41:19 Drew That S train.

41:20 Adam Yeah. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this. There, buddy, Loveline and Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Hot, hot heat tomorrow night in studio. Anderson, you like hot, hot heat?

41:55 Caller Yeah.

41:55 Adam Yes, you do. You have a song of theirs anywhere?

41:59 Caller No.

42:00 Adam Okay.

42:00 Drew That's good. Can you tell us one?

42:02 Caller They're one of those bands I liked them like two years ago, and they weren't really getting much play, and now they're much bigger than I ever imagined they would be.

42:08 Drew And that ruins it for you, right?

42:09 Adam You're bitter now, right?

42:10 Caller Yeah, so now I go back to my old bands.

42:12 Adam Yeah.

42:13 Caller But no, their album's very good. You will enjoy their music tomorrow night.

42:16 Adam All right. All right. We'll look forward to Hot Hot Heat.

42:18 Caller They played a few of the K-Rock events. You've probably seen them before.

42:21 Adam That must have been where we caught them.

42:23 Caller You'll like them, Adam, because they're not glammy at all. They're real, like, down to earth.

42:26 Adam All right. Well, that's what I like.

42:27 Caller Big, bushy hair.

42:28 Caller I got one over here.

42:30 Adam Really? Yeah. You got a Hot Hot Heat song?

42:33 Drew Wow.

42:34 Adam Brought his AK.

42:35 Drew He gave you the finger when the show opened today?

42:37 Adam Yeah. Chris?

42:40 Drew Uh-oh.

42:41 Adam He brought his.

42:42 Drew Here it is.

42:42 Caller Oh, listen.

42:44 Caller That's not Hot Hot Heat.

42:45 Caller All right.

42:46 Adam Well, remember I said he brought his A game?

42:48 Drew This is his A game.

42:49 Adam It's down to B minus.

42:50 Drew This is his A game.

42:51 Adam It is? Okay. This is his A game.

42:53 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

42:54 Adam If it was your C game, you'd kill yourself, right?

42:57 Drew This is it right here.

42:58 Adam This Hot Hot Heat?

42:59 Caller This is Bandages by Hot Hot Heat.

43:00 Adam Yeah. Hey, Chris, why don't you give a little dedication? Send this one out.

43:07 Caller This goes out to Anderson from Loveline.

43:10 Adam Yeah. Do the whole thing. Do the whole thing. It started from the beginning, Chris, and go, yeah, this one's going out to Anderson, a little something from Hot Hot Heat called Bandages. And then you have the call letters out, too, and then the time, and then the weather, and then the traffic. All right.

43:30 Caller Here we go. Listen to 106.7 KROQ, and this is Hot Hot Heat with Bandages, for Anderson over there at the Westwood One.

43:40 Adam Okay, that's pretty good, but the Anderson dedication seemed like a third boob, you know, that got lapped on. That got tacked on right at the end. That was an afterthought. You know what I mean?

43:55 Drew You need to figure out, just imagine him there in that booth by himself.

43:58 Adam This one's going out there. And you can even talk to him, Anderson, I know you're out there, I know you're listening to something from Hot Hot Heat. Enjoy. All right, let's try it one more time.

44:07 Drew One more time, okay.

44:08 Caller I'm becoming aroused. We should stop.

44:10 Adam Here we go, just one more.

44:11 Drew That's what he's imagining, by the way.

44:12 Adam And also be nice to have the music bed playing a little bit underneath you while you're talking, you know, instead of just talking cold.

44:19 Drew It's from the beginning, you know what I'm saying? All the call letters and things.

44:22 Caller Not blue for a bed, yeah.

44:23 Drew No, no, no, the Hot Hot Heat.

44:24 Adam Not the bed, the Hot Hot Heat. All right, you ready? So cue the music up first.

44:31 Caller All right, this is 106.7 K-Rock KROQ. And this goes out to Anderson over there at the Westwood One. This is Hot Hot Heat with Bandages.

44:40 Adam Okay, all right, we could clean that up and editing a little.

44:43 Caller I think we can make it work.

44:45 Adam Yeah, that was solid. Okay. All right, Anderson, wherever you are, buddy, that one's going out to you. A little Hot Hot Heat.

44:53 Caller All right, let's take a break.

44:55 Adam Pot yourself down now.

44:57 Drew Alexa?

44:59 Caller Yeah.

45:00 Adam You're 18? What's up?

45:04 Caller When, okay, this is like a recent development. When I'm having sex with my boyfriend and you're clenching your abdominal muscles or your vaginal wall, and I'm about ready to climax, I get like this pain, but it's not really painful. It's just kind of like a lot of pressure, but it's deeper, and then when I do finally have an orgasm, I'm poor out. It's not like a little bleak. It's-

45:39 Adam Wow.

45:39 Drew Good times.

45:40 Adam Torrential.

45:41 Drew Nice.

45:41 Caller It's like-

45:42 Adam Wow.

45:42 Drew Hold on a second, Alexa. Hold on.

45:44 Adam We got to contemplate this during the break. We got to take a break, but also Chris has to dedicate a song to you in your vaginal moisture.

45:50 Drew Alexa in Mission Viejo. Here you go.

45:51 Adam She's Alexa.

45:52 Caller I don't even have it potted. It's not even ready yet.

45:55 Adam Well, where is it? Come on, buddy.

45:58 Put some on.

46:00 Drew There you go.

46:01 Adam So turn your mic on to Alexa from Mission Viejo, when she has a wet vagina. Go ahead.

46:05 Drew All right.

46:05 Caller This is Alexa. I mean-

46:07 Adam Yeah. All right. That's all right. Let's just start the-

46:10 Drew Again. Here we go.

46:10 Adam Here we go.

46:11 Caller This is Hot Out Heat, bandages going out to Alexa in Mission Viejo.

46:14 Drew With? With the vagina.

46:17 Caller With the vagina.

46:18 Drew With the wet vagina.

46:19 Caller With the wet vagina on Loveline.

46:22 Adam All right.

46:23 Caller All right.

46:26 Caller We now can go for a break.

46:28 Caller You don't have to say that far.

46:32 Drew Yeah.

46:38 Adam Yeah. Loveline. That's what I'm talking about. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. OK. Now when we left off, well, Chris was sending a shout-out to Alexa via Hot Hot Heat.

46:54 Drew That was well done, well executed. No, it wasn't. And before we go on, we have to mention again.

46:59 Adam Yeah, that's all right. It was good.

47:00 Drew That everyone over 18, which Alexa will be amongst those, because she is 18, will win a Saw DVD starring Danny Glover, supposedly the creepiest horror flick since 7. And you'll also qualify to win a trip to Derbyshire, England, to see the heavy metal concert Bloodstock.

47:16 Adam Mm-hmm. And I'll tell you what they say about Saw, Drew.

47:20 Drew Every puzzle has its pieces.

47:22 Adam That's what they say.

47:23 Drew That's what they say about Saw.

47:25 Adam Alexa?

47:25 Drew They also say Seesaw.

47:27 Adam Yeah.

47:28 Caller Hi.

47:29 Adam Alexa?

47:29 Caller Yes.

47:30 Adam All right. So when you orgasm, a lot of fluid comes out of you.

47:36 Caller Yeah.

47:37 Drew I really am very interested in the way you describe that buildup, because I'm not sure anyone has truly studied carefully where an ejaculate comes from. There's confusion about whether, with females, whether it's from the Skeen's glands or the Bartholomew glands, or even for the wall of the vagina, or maybe somewhere in the uterus, or is all this really just some urine? It's very difficult to say. And in your case, you feel something building up. You can feel the fluid coming in.

48:02 Caller What I'm wondering is where it all is. I'm thinking, where the heck am I storing all of that?

48:07 Drew Well, it's like a man with a prostate gland and the seminal vesicles produce a lot of fluid, too. And your glands are just rather than focused, sort of concentrated in one area, sort of spread throughout the vaginal wall and around the vulva.

48:23 Adam How much do you figure comes out of you?

48:27 Caller Oh, maybe, I don't know, four, five, six, seven ounces. I think a lot. But then again, I don't really measure it, so I don't know.

48:38 Drew Six ounces, let's think about this. Six ounces would be like enough to fill a bowl.

48:44 Adam Women have, well, most people exaggerate.

48:48 Drew I like to measure five, six, seven, eight, ten, fourteen, eighty-five ounces.

48:51 Adam I know, I thought you were just going to stop her before she got to fifty-five gallons of rum. Several hundred thousand ounces. Yeah, I mean, here's the thing, everybody. You take a cup, you fill, coffee mug, coffee mug holds about eight ounces. You fill that coffee mug about a half an inch from the top, it's about six ounces. And all I'm saying, as I demonstrate on Love Line, the TV show once, take that coffee mug and knock it over.

49:21 Drew Or just spill what's on the top.

49:22 Adam Just slop a little on the top.

49:24 Drew Yeah, it looks like a lot.

49:25 Adam It looks like a lot. So it's really more like probably an ounce or so.

49:29 Drew But still a lot.

49:31 Adam Still enough to ruin a comforter.

49:33 Drew Sure.

49:34 Caller Or make it, well, that's the thing. When I do ejaculate, I can notice a difference when I've had a lot to drink, like a lot of fluids. There's a lot more when I'm hydrated.

49:47 Drew It kind of makes sense, right? And that's true of anything.

49:50 Adam How about you pack some sawdust in there?

49:52 Drew I understand. Drink it up. I thought it was also kind of curious that you had never had this happen before with previous partners?

50:00 Caller Well, no. It's the same partner. I've only had one partner in my boyfriend that I'm currently with.

50:05 Drew I see. And so this guy does this for you.

50:07 Adam Is it... and do you ever give him a dusting during the oral?

50:11 Drew A dusting?

50:12 Adam Well, dousing.

50:13 Drew Oh, and he's giving the oral?

50:14 Adam Yeah.

50:15 Drew Give him a dousing, yes.

50:16 Adam Yeah. Just give him a shot of wiper spray?

50:18 Drew Oh, this would not be wiper spray. This would be a...

50:21 Caller More like wiper pour.

50:24 Adam Really?

50:25 Caller Yeah.

50:26 Adam Well, that's an enemy.

50:29 Caller When, when... Previously, you know, prior to him, he's the one who I lost my virginity to, but before him, we had done other things, but he's the only one that has ever made me ejaculate this much. Maybe he's just special.

50:47 Adam Okay. Well, that's great if he's listening.

50:50 Drew Yeah.

50:51 Adam No, I, what was my question? My question, thanks for the long-winded non-answer, but my question is, does he ever give a shot when he's doing oral on you?

51:00 Caller Um, when I can't hold sin anymore.

51:03 Drew So you have an or you have a word?

51:05 Adam So the answer to that is yes?

51:07 Caller Yes.

51:07 Drew So he's taking a dowsing.

51:09 Adam That's all right.

51:10 Drew And so you have this ejaculate whether you're having oral sex or intercourse? All right.

51:15 Adam That's you. That's all.

51:16 Drew It's good times.

51:18 Adam She's, by the way, she's off my 69 list.

51:23 Drew Really? You wouldn't like that?

51:25 Adam No. Ironically, uh, well, there was 69 people on it. I actually were down to 68 now. Yeah, she's off the list because you get a detached retina with this one. She says it's not like a spray. It's like a hose. Comes out with some force. Well, if you think about it, that region is pretty powerful.

51:49 Drew Oh, yeah, those muscles can contract.

51:50 Adam I mean, is that part of birthing? So, I mean, those are pretty involved and evolved muscles. I mean, they're strong.

51:58 Drew Oh, yeah.

51:59 Adam Maybe some of the strongest.

52:00 Drew Yeah.

52:00 Adam All right.

52:01 Drew And when they start squeezing on those glands with real force, they can fire stuff out.

52:06 Adam Someone's got a question for Drew about surgical penis enlargement.

52:11 Mark?

52:12 Caller Hey, guys. What's up?

52:13 Adam What's up?

52:14 Caller Not much. Not much. Yeah, I heard you guys talking about it a couple days ago, and really pretty interested in it. Why? Why? Well, I'm not real sure. A couple months back, me and my wife were having a little bit of problems, but I worked it all out.

52:37 Drew What was the problem?

52:39 Caller Well, I was working too much, and she was at home with our girls, and she was just on the Internet, you know, that whole thing.

52:50 Drew So the answer is to get a bigger penis?

52:52 Caller No, no. That's just...

52:54 Adam Well, I think if my wife got on the computer, I would have to undergo that surgery as well.

52:58 Drew Yes, of course.

52:59 Adam What do you mean she was on the Internet, talking to a guy?

53:03 Caller Yeah.

53:03 Adam She was lonely.

53:05 Caller Yeah, that was her excuse. But that's the same point. We know when you guys talk about it...

53:13 Adam Hold on a second.

53:14 Drew By the way, not an excuse, Mark, because she was in fact lonely.

53:17 Adam Yeah, but obviously it's not something that's left your mind.

53:20 Caller Right.

53:22 Adam And did you read any of these transcripts?

53:25 Caller No, it was like the instant messaging and sending pictures and stuff.

53:32 Adam Did you read any of the instant messaging?

53:36 Caller No, I didn't.

53:37 Drew How did you find out about it?

53:38 Adam How do you know what went on?

53:39 Caller Yeah. When I kind of got an idea that she was doing that, I checked her email and saw that she had sent some pictures out to some different people.

53:56 Adam What kind of pictures?

53:58 Caller Just some suggestive pictures, nothing nude or anything like that. Just some suggestive ones.

54:07 Adam And why did you get suspicious?

54:11 Caller She was staying up late when I would come home and go to sleep. Kind of late.

54:17 Adam Yeah.

54:17 Caller On the computer.

54:18 Adam All right. I'm hip. And so you found out she sent some pictures out to some guys. Were the guys in town?

54:24 Caller No, they weren't.

54:26 Drew So it wasn't like she made physical contact with anybody?

54:28 Caller No, she didn't.

54:31 Adam And you confronted her on this and she stopped?

54:35 Caller Yes.

54:36 Adam Okay. All right.

54:39 Drew There you go. Well, it's just, you know, as I believe there's... I don't know what this cost yet. I'm going to interview the doctor next week that does these procedures.

54:49 Adam I can't believe you don't ask.

54:50 Drew I was just doing the surgery. I was busy pulling his penis away from his pubic bone and ripping it away.

54:55 Adam It's probably like, I think it's probably a little under ten grand, but over five.

54:59 Drew Really?

55:00 Adam Yeah. That's what I think.

55:01 Drew That's crazy.

55:02 Adam Well, what do you think?

55:03 Drew I think like four, but...

55:04 Adam Four?

55:06 Caller What is the actual procedure? Is there any possibilities of complications and stuff like that?

55:11 Drew Oh, always, of course. There's a risk of anesthesia, there's infection and bleeding, and things can go wrong.

55:16 Adam That's how my grandfather died.

55:17 Drew But there is... They put a hole just above the penis there, and they tear the tendon away from the pubic bone, it stretches out about an inch. They have you wear some weights for a while afterwards, apparently it adds to it. Then they basically take the skin off circumferentially from the penis and sew in what looks like a giant ravioli, or a pop tart, and then pull the skin back over that, and there you go.

55:42 Adam All right. You know what this is like to me? This is like changing the color of the paint on your new car, which is to say, now quiet, which is to say you may not like the color that the car came from the factory with, but the new paint job is never gonna be as good. It's just not. It's just, this one came from the factory, the new one, and you can do a good job. You can pull off all the emblems, take all the chrome off and tape around real, but it's not the same as getting painted when the whole thing's apart and it's being dipped and there's not some, the windshield's not in and the rubber around the door isn't in. You know what I mean? You'll never get that. You can get good, you can pay a little extra and get a nicer job. It's never factory fresh.

56:30 Drew That's right.

56:31 Adam I say stick with the crappy color because it's got the factory fresh job.

56:36 Drew Work on your driving skills.

56:38 Adam That's right. Are we talking about driving now?

56:41 Drew Yeah, cars.

56:44 Adam Good, because I like cars.

56:46 Drew But here's the deal. Every time I... Did I have a car question?

56:49 Adam Mark?

56:50 Caller Yes.

56:50 Adam What's wrong with your penis?

56:52 Caller Nothing really. I just wanted to be bigger.

56:56 Adam How much money do you make a year? What do you do for a living?

56:59 Caller I'm in corrections right now, but I'm getting ready to go back to school.

57:04 Adam In corrections? Do you work in a prison or something?

57:07 Caller Yes.

57:09 Adam That's bad times. Here's the thing, Mark. Here's why we're bringing this up. I think you're going down the wrong path. You immediately... There's nothing wrong with you. You immediately work this into your wife on the internet, which is obviously some residual feelings about... Not a great plan.

57:27 Caller Right.

57:27 Drew Everything you've discussed has been about feelings of insecurity and feelings of feeling less than.

57:33 Caller Yeah.

57:33 Drew And all that gets focused on your penis. If you can make that more, then I feel like more.

57:38 Adam Yeah. I would suggest you give like a hellacious ass-beating to some guys in the drunk tank or something if you're feeling... You know, if you're having trouble with the self-esteem. Or do those things where you get the inmates to fight and then you wager on them. I like that one too. You seen those movies?

57:53 Drew It's nice.

57:54 Adam So, but Mark, this isn't for you. You're smarter than this. And you don't make enough money. And you're calling from Washington state where, you know, you don't really have a lot of penile doctors. You work it out, you got kids, anyone with a, here's the deal. If you have kids, you shouldn't be able to have the penis enlargement.

58:13 Drew There should be no reason for it. Unless you really have a medical problem.

58:17 Adam Yeah. No, it's like this, you know, if you want a vasectomy as a guy and you don't have any kids, they're not going to give them to you.

58:24 Drew Right.

58:25 Adam Penis enlargement, the opposite. You do have kids, can't have one.

58:28 Drew And again, I just, I keep thinking to myself that when anthropologists dig up this civilization in thousands of years, and they find these non-decomposing silicone sacks in the chests of women, and these raviolis on the genitalia.

58:43 Adam Well, those are going to decompose.

58:45 Drew Probably, yeah, right. But still, if there is some remnant, they'll find some organic material that doesn't fit with the DNA of the deceased, never will it occur to them these things were inserted during life. They will assume there was some sort of funeral procedure, some sort of ritual at death. Oh, we lay the sacks on the chest.

59:05 Adam Drew, it's Drew's fate. Drew's been in love with this analogy for 10 years. I just, it's a solid four. Here's the thing, Drew, they're going to know all about the boop jobs. They're going to be more into it than we are.

59:17 Drew Well, that's what I was thinking. Maybe they'll have perfected it.

59:20 Adam You can, people are going to have a penis and vagina by then. They'll just be walking in a circle, f-ing themselves, and they'll have to leave the house. What about the holograms? They'll be f-ing holograms. And here's the other thing, too, though. Pretty soon, when people are getting cremated, and you got the silicone sack in you, or the whatever sack in you, made by DuPont, isn't there going to be some sort of EPA problem with that?

59:50 Drew Something's going to go on with that?

59:52 Adam Well, it's just...

59:53 Drew If everybody's got it.

59:54 Adam It's going to unleash carcinogens into the atmosphere, you know?

59:58 Drew First-rate killer.

59:59 Adam Yeah. The guys that are working at the crematorium are going to... You know what I mean?

1:00:03 Drew Sure. We'll have to get on the company that makes those.

1:00:05 Adam Right. All right. Where are we?

1:00:07 Drew We'll get the attorneys on that to protect the consumers.

1:00:09 Adam Here's the thing. All guys, all law enforcement guys, well, not all, 80% of them, got a little something cooking, little energy, little something going on. And they always have kids and they always have families. Always. You know what I mean? I'm trying to think of a profession. Unfortunately, I think law enforcement officer and soldier are two of the earliest family starting professions. There are the guys who have the highest likelihood of eating a bullet on the job. You know what I'm saying?

1:00:41 Drew It's interesting, huh?

1:00:44 Adam You never hear about something where like, oh, Officer Rodriguez was shot by gang members in South Los Angeles. Thank Christ he was gained a bachelor. You never hear that.

1:00:54 Drew Right.

1:00:54 Adam He was survived by his 26 children, 14 grandchildren, nine wives.

1:00:58 Drew Right. He was 24.

1:01:04 Adam He just celebrated his 24th birthday. Oh, we have one of his 28 grandkids to comment on it. I mean, there's never a guy, never a cop who dies that doesn't leave behind night. And by the way, these kids, these guys too, it's like he has a 19-year-old, a 17-year-old, 16-year-old, four 12-year-olds and a newborn and one on the way. He was 21. Yeah, it's like, what? Where are all these kids coming from? Cops and soldiers. Not a one of them ever gets put down on the job without the whole family. Just once, just one time. Yeah, he died. Confirmed bachelor, though.

1:01:51 Drew Thankfully.

1:01:52 Adam He liked the ladies maybe too much.

1:01:54 Drew That's probably what happened.

1:01:55 Adam Never could settle down. Called him officer, pull out. Never, you know, never used backup when he went in with with into a warehouse after some perps, but always used the morning after pill when he was with a slut. Yeah. Yeah. No kids. Thank Christ. So anyway, he'll be missed. But again, not by that many people.

1:02:16 Drew Not a tragedy like.

1:02:17 Adam No, no. Could have been could have been worse. Could have been worse. All right. Single guy had himself a one bedroom. I think it was a bachelor apartment. Just drove it, drove a two seater. You know, didn't need the minivan. Nothing. Not going to leave it to anybody. Didn't have any family. Just, you know, kind of lone wolf type. Did his own thing. Kind of like Marilyn LeVern and Shirley. Remember the big ragu? That kind of guy like that. Yeah. He's either way. Nice guy, but just, you know, didn't have family. As a matter of fact, if I went into law enforcement, I would I would never get married. I've never had any kids. That would assure me of a long career.

1:02:56 Drew That's true.

1:02:57 Adam I'd be like, once the wife gets pregnant or you get a couple of months away from retirement or whatever, that's a tragedy strikes. You know?

1:03:06 Drew Yep.

1:03:06 All right.

1:03:08 Adam Work that out. Blake.

1:03:11 How's it going?

1:03:12 Adam You're 18?

1:03:13 Caller Great. Yeah.

1:03:15 Adam What's up?

1:03:15 Caller I was wondering how much alcohol is too much in terms of frequency. I drink probably three times a week, probably about six drinks.

1:03:28 Drew Well, you can't really define it by frequency. It's really defined by consequences.

1:03:35 Adam What's a drink? What's your drink?

1:03:38 Caller I'm pretty down with Guinness.

1:03:40 Adam Drink Guinness? And when you say six drinks, you mean six beers?

1:03:46 Drew Yeah.

1:03:47 Adam Six of the, I got like the tall boys, right? Like the 16 ounces?

1:03:52 Caller No, 12 ounce.

1:03:54 Drew So 12 ounce.

1:03:55 Adam Six of those of Guinness.

1:03:56 Drew Six, three times a week?

1:03:58 Caller Pretty much.

1:04:00 Adam By the way, that is like just eating a sack of flour.

1:04:03 Drew Yeah.

1:04:05 Adam I mean, I couldn't imagine.

1:04:06 Drew Yeah.

1:04:07 Adam That is, that is impossible. Thick stuff.

1:04:09 Drew Yeah. You're in Blake. You're in. You've crossed over.

1:04:12 Adam Well.

1:04:12 Drew This isn't going to stop by itself.

1:04:13 Adam Here's one. Now, here's the thing. Blake's 18.

1:04:16 Drew He's 18. He's breaking the law. No. From a medical standpoint, this is vastly too much.

1:04:24 Adam It is. Really? But there's not all that much alcohol. I guess it's got a little more.

1:04:29 Drew Six, 12-ounce beers. Are you kidding? That will accumulate neurological damage eventually.

1:04:35 Adam Really?

1:04:35 Drew Over time.

1:04:36 Adam Yeah. Forty years.

1:04:37 Drew No, no. You could do it in ten years.

1:04:39 Adam Here's the thing too though. Six, a six-pack, three days a week. See, three times a week. We don't believe them. We believe it's seven or eight beers and it's four times a week.

1:04:50 Drew Yeah. If it's not now, it will be in a few months.

1:04:52 Adam Yeah. It builds up.

1:04:53 Drew For sure.

1:04:54 Adam Builds up. Now, one is, I got to know for my own personal safety, one is the booze start screwing with the neurological stuff because they always do that. A glass of red wine with dinner is good for you, good for your blood.

1:05:07 Drew It's actually hard to tell this because old people, if they drink so much as a small glass of wine, you can start to see cognitive impairments.

1:05:14 Adam Yeah. My mom thinks she's the life of the party.

1:05:17 Drew No, but I don't mean intoxication. I mean that things start to stop working.

1:05:19 Adam I mean she turns into a retard.

1:05:21 Drew Yeah. I think probably two glasses of wine after that. Perfect. You're in trouble.

1:05:26 Adam Perfect. But in the Tumblr, right?

1:05:29 Drew No, I mean I think you get more than about a third of a bottle. You're looking at bad times.

1:05:34 Adam More than a third of a bottle?

1:05:36 Drew Yeah.

1:05:37 Adam Yeah. There's only four glasses in a bottle.

1:05:40 Drew Five to six, usually.

1:05:41 Adam Is there five to six?

1:05:42 Drew There's four big ones, yeah. Two small glasses, you're fine.

1:05:47 Caller Nah.

1:05:50 Adam Blake?

1:05:51 Caller Yeah.

1:05:52 Adam All right, buddy. Well, maybe you're drinking a little too much for an 18-year-old.

1:05:55 Drew Yeah, you have alcoholism in your family. No. You must. You must.

1:05:59 Adam By the way, where do you get money at 18 to buy Three Sixers of Guinness? That's expensive beer.

1:06:05 Caller It is. It's a little too expensive, but I seem to find the money.

1:06:09 Adam Okay. Well, you're proud. That's important.

1:06:12 Drew What's your ethnicity?

1:06:14 Caller I'm Caucasian.

1:06:15 Drew Where are your ancestors from? Why can't people answer that question?

1:06:18 Caller They're Norway and Germany.

1:06:21 Drew Norwegian families? Is there anybody heavy drinking in there?

1:06:25 Caller No. Actually, none of my family drinks. No.

1:06:27 Drew Is there a reason they don't drink? Are they Mormon clergy?

1:06:30 Adam He's a pioneer.

1:06:31 Caller No. Nobody has any real reason. They just don't drink.

1:06:35 Caller Nobody's alcoholic.

1:06:36 Drew Where do you...? It just has to be there.

1:06:38 Caller You got to have a look around.

1:06:39 Adam Where do you do your drinking? At home or you party?

1:06:42 Caller Oh, no. I don't drink alone. Just at parties.

1:06:46 Adam Go to parties three nights a week?

1:06:48 Caller Yeah. Pretty much.

1:06:50 Adam All right. Well, enjoy it.

1:06:55 Drew What does that mean?

1:06:56 Adam I don't know. Blake's a dick.

1:06:57 Drew Yeah, no kidding.

1:06:58 Adam I don't know. Why do we care? Just go drink.

1:07:01 Drew Do you get that sociopath feel?

1:07:04 Adam Well, he's a dick. I mean, guys are dicks. 18 year old guys are dicks. It's what it is. He's probably good looking. He feels invincible. You do whatever you want. You drink as much you want. You have whoever you want. You do whatever you want and slowly time melts away. Hair starts falling out. Teeth get bad and you get a gut on you. And then the ladies don't come call them anymore. And you get grounded. But you know, when you're riding high, enjoy yourself.

1:07:33 Drew You should search around his family of origin because there is a god for alcohol.

1:07:36 Adam Who cares? Let him do what he wants. I don't care. This Blake, just stay. He's calling from Denver. Just stay in the Denver area. We got enough dicks out here. We're top heavy with dicks. We should have a dick sale. We got so many dicks in this town. You know what I mean? We're moving. We're moving our dicks. We're having a parking lot sale. 2004 dicks. We ordered too many. Now we got to move them.

1:08:03 Drew Dick Clearance.

1:08:04 Adam It's Dick Dieland Days. Oh yeah. Dick Dieland Days. Wow. Now that's a good FM jock name. Hey, Dick Dieland Days playing the oldies right here on 93 Arrow. There's a little something from the doors. And you tell them Dick Dieland Days sent you that. Yeah.

1:08:31 Drew Good times.

1:08:32 Adam It's good. Yeah. I could even play a little Hot Hot Heat.

1:08:36 Drew Oh yeah.

1:08:37 Adam Cue that up, Chris.

1:08:39 Drew Seems spring into action there.

1:08:40 Adam Yeah. Like a cobra, this kid.

1:08:43 Drew Oh, look at that.

1:08:44 Adam Like a dead cobra. Hey, everybody. It's Dick Dieland Days coming at you for the mighty, mighty KROQ. It's 106.7.

1:08:56 Caller I'll tell you what.

1:08:58 Adam 1122.22. After a look at some Hot Hot Heat coming we're going to be in the studio tomorrow night. Look forward to these guys. This one's going out to my buddy Anderson back at Westwood One. Andy and Chewy. Yeah, see? That's how it goes. Good job, buddy.

1:09:15 Drew I thought you could go out to commercial, no?

1:09:17 Adam Oh, we could have gone to commercial. All right, let's try it again. This time we'll go to commercial. All right. I'll give myself a fictitious AM. AM station. All right?

1:09:31 Caller Hey!

1:09:33 Adam All the little dazed and confused fans. The feeling day is out here on 93.1. AM, that's KHJ. Play the oldies all the time. 11.23, 23 after 11 o'clock. A little something from Hot Hot Heat spinning your way. Yeah, Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-ER. Hey, I got to give a quick plug for this thing I'm doing. We got to get people to call in. Doing a show on Comedy Central on Friday, and we need your phone calls. You can call in before Friday. Yeah, that's the thing. Call in before Friday at 866-HEY-ADAM. 866-HEY-ADAM. Yeah, that's my number. Let me keep that, baby.

1:10:42 Drew That's a good one.

1:10:43 Adam Yeah, or you can go to adamcarolla at yahoo.com. How come I couldn't get that one?

1:10:49 Drew I was just thinking they probably had to buy that from that guy that you were screaming at on the air.

1:10:53 Adam Yeah, really? Yeah, it was probably somewhere other than yahoo, though, wasn't it?

1:10:58 Drew People, people hoard those things.

1:11:01 Adam Well, all right. Let's, I thought they made daddy legal or something.

1:11:05 Drew I don't know.

1:11:06 Adam All right.

1:11:11 Caller Yes.

1:11:12 Adam Twenty-six?

1:11:14 That's me.

1:11:15 Adam What's up?

1:11:17 I'm wondering, this is more or less my third time back in the hospital. I've been diagnosed with pancreatitis right now. I have a pancreatitis, a pancreatic cyst, but the thing is, I don't drink and I'm just wondering, does this happen to anyone young under the age of thirty or anything like this?

1:11:35 Drew All right. Hold on. So, you're in the hospital right now?

1:11:37 Oh, yeah.

1:11:38 Drew Okay. Pancreatitis is inflammation of the pancreas where the pancreatic enzymes get out into the tissue of the pancreas and start dissolving it.

1:11:45 Adam Well, obviously, it happens.

1:11:47 Drew Well, wait a second. When it's acute, which does happen from people who drink heavily, it can be dangerous. People can bleed. You can actually turn your pancreas into a big abscess. And that can be a life-threatening problem. Other causes of pancreatitis other than alcohol is things like birth control pills, medication, high triglycerides and stones. So, I imagine you've had an ERCP and you don't have stones. Is that right?

1:12:09 No stones.

1:12:10 Drew Okay. And what he has now is something called the pancreatic pseudocyst, which is a giant That's exactly what I have right now. Are they going to drain it?

1:12:19 They can't. It's too large. It's about four inches round.

1:12:22 Drew Well, sometimes they sort of drain it to the stomach. But anyway, be that as it may, what you have is something called chronic recurrent pancreatitis or calcific pancreatitis. And that alcohol will induce that, that it starts a process where the pancreas just becomes inexorably inflamed, calcifies, has horrible pain.

1:12:39 Adam Well, he doesn't drink though.

1:12:42 I haven't drank since 2003, so...

1:12:44 Drew It's chronic the rest. Once you induce this state, it's chronic the rest of your life.

1:12:48 Adam Once you drink enough...

1:12:50 Drew Some people will get what's called chronic calcific pancreatitis. And even when they stop, this thing marches on.

1:12:55 Adam But it's only brought on by drinking.

1:12:58 Drew Yeah, it's pretty much the only time you see it. Yeah, I mean, there's other things...

1:13:00 Adam Bill, I'm sorry. Philip, you're 26. You must have done some world class drinking.

1:13:07 Caller You know, I wish I had. At least I would have got trophies for it. But no. Nope.

1:13:12 Adam You weren't much of a drinker.

1:13:14 Caller Not really, no.

1:13:16 Adam When you quit drinking because of the pancreatic problem?

1:13:23 Caller After my first attack, they said it was that. But I figured, okay, that's it. And just quit drinking. Forget it all, you know?

1:13:28 Adam Right. But you never, never a big drinker in the first place?

1:13:32 Caller No.

1:13:34 Drew How often are you drinking?

1:13:37 Caller Not even holiday drink. I would say in serious, maybe three times. Other than that, maybe one or two drinks out of a month. Not even that. Wow.

1:13:45 Drew Well, maybe a bottle of beer. There are viral causes of pancreatitis.

1:13:50 Adam Yeah, maybe it wasn't that.

1:13:51 Drew Yeah, one of the unlucky guys that got something awful.

1:13:54 Caller But I mean, what's the likelihood of this happening to someone again near my age or anything like this?

1:14:00 Drew Heavy drinking, it's not an easy thing, but it's something that can be.

1:14:03 Adam Well, he's not going to drink anymore.

1:14:05 Drew Yeah. I understand what you're asking. What do you mean, another person coming down with this? Another 26-year-old?

1:14:10 Caller Or anybody. I mean, it happens. They're stumped as it is over here, so I don't know.

1:14:16 Drew It happens from heavy drinkers, but you're not a heavy drinker, so that's why it's difficult to figure out.

1:14:21 Adam Whatever the odds are, whether it's one in a billion or one in five, you got it.

1:14:27 Drew Are you on medication? Were you on medication at the time when the pancreatitis came on?

1:14:32 Caller No, none.

1:14:34 Drew Did you have high triglycerides?

1:14:36 Caller No. All right, Phillip. On the second one, there was...

1:14:41 Drew When you got the pancreatitis, then the triglycerides went up.

1:14:44 Caller The first attack, the first hospital just kind of said it was a drink and that was it. But the second hospital I went to, they took a little more time out and that's what they said that it was. They told me to change stuff in the diet and again, no drinking and I stuck with that. All right. Now, I'm back here because they missed that I had a cyst inside, so...

1:15:06 Drew Yeah. Well, that happens just in the chronic inflammation. But have you had an endoscopic...

1:15:11 Adam What is that? What do they want you to change in your diet?

1:15:14 Drew No fats.

1:15:15 Caller Oh, yeah, because it aggravates the pancreas.

1:15:17 Drew Stimulates the pancreas. And did you have a what's called an endoscopic cholangiopancreatography where they look up, they put a little tube up there and light your pancreas up?

1:15:29 Caller No, was it going through the mouth or...

1:15:31 Drew Yeah, through the mouth.

1:15:33 Caller Yeah, they did that. They put a stint in there to open up a duct and they said that that should help but it's only...

1:15:40 Drew Maybe you had just, you had a narrowing of the pancreatic duct which maybe caused the chronic pancreatitis and once it gets going it's a hard thing to stop. So that maybe is it. So they put a stint in there, a tube in there to open it up. Good times.

1:15:56 Adam Yeesh. You need your pancreas?

1:15:59 Drew Yeah. That's where your insulin is made, all the hormones that regulate blood sugar metabolism.

1:16:05 Adam What if you don't have a pancreas?

1:16:07 Drew It's just a kynin, the things that cause the gallbladder to be released.

1:16:10 Adam What if something happens to your pancreas?

1:16:13 Drew You're in bad times.

1:16:14 Adam Oh really? Can they transplant one?

1:16:17 Drew Yeah, there are transplants.

1:16:18 Adam Oh there. Let's talk to Bill. Got a little Germany or Florida for us.

1:16:27 Caller Germany or Florida?

1:16:29 Drew Yes.

1:16:30 Adam Yes?

1:16:32 Caller A disgruntled bank janitor rented a backhoe and used it in an attempt to rob his place of employment. When he got to the bank, he proceeded to rip into the ATM with the backhoe. He was apprehended shortly after he demolished the ATM thanks to a witness down the road who phoned the authorities after seeing him.

1:16:52 Drew What's a backhoe?

1:16:54 Adam What's a backhoe?

1:16:54 Drew I'm not quite sure what that is. Is it like a tractor kind of thing?

1:16:57 Adam Yeah.

1:16:58 Drew The one that has those big screws. Yeah.

1:17:00 Adam That's a big digging claim on it.

1:17:01 Drew Okay. Got it.

1:17:02 Adam Come on, buddy.

1:17:03 Drew All right. That sounds Florida to me.

1:17:06 Adam Everything sounds like Florida. The ATM and the backhoe and the disgruntled.

1:17:10 Drew Florida.

1:17:11 Adam Florida. Feels like Florida, Bill. You feel like Florida.

1:17:16 Caller Ace man, you're right. Florida.

1:17:18 Drew Yeah, that's right.

1:17:18 Adam Yeah.

1:17:19 Drew We're 100% tonight.

1:17:20 Adam Bill, where are you from? No, we lost the first one.

1:17:23 Caller I'm from Illinois.

1:17:24 Adam Didn't we lose the first Germany or Florida?

1:17:28 Drew Wasn't that Florida?

1:17:28 Adam That was from Germany.

1:17:29 Caller I edited that part out.

1:17:31 Adam Oh, did you edit that out?

1:17:32 Caller Yeah, that's gone.

1:17:33 Adam Great job. We're 100%. Edit the part out where I said we lost the first one, too. 100% tonight, Drew. Do you hear me?

1:17:40 Drew It's nice.

1:17:41 Adam You know what 100% is?

1:17:42 Drew Why did he edit that out?

1:17:43 Adam It's 10% more than 90%, which is pretty damn good.

1:17:47 Drew That's 1135, 35 minutes after the hour. Yeah.

1:17:52 Adam Dick Dieland days. That is a great jock name. All right, Bill. Bill?

1:18:00 Caller Yeah.

1:18:01 Adam What do you do for a living? Something around metal?

1:18:04 Caller No, actually, I'm a student.

1:18:06 Drew He's at high school.

1:18:07 Caller High school.

1:18:08 Adam Where? High school?

1:18:09 Caller Yeah.

1:18:10 Adam But you're one of these guys who has your own ride and possibly your own mustache, right?

1:18:14 Caller Yeah.

1:18:15 Caller That's a little goatee, too.

1:18:17 Adam Oh, really?

1:18:17 Caller Yeah.

1:18:18 Adam You got a goatee in high school, huh?

1:18:20 Caller Yeah.

1:18:21 Adam That's big time. And you have a car?

1:18:23 Caller Yeah.

1:18:24 Adam But it's a crappy American car, but you think it's cool?

1:18:28 Caller It's a 1987 Mustang Convertible.

1:18:31 Adam Shocking. That's a crappy American car that you think is cool. All right. You got the 5.0, buddy?

1:18:42 Caller No, it's a four-cylinder.

1:18:44 Adam Four-cylinder.

1:18:45 Drew Oh, that's a lot of muscle there.

1:18:47 Adam That's rough.

1:18:47 Caller $400.

1:18:49 Adam All right.

1:18:49 Drew You paid $400 for it.

1:18:50 Adam All right. Seems like too much. But now, all right, buddy, you work on it?

1:18:56 Caller Yeah.

1:18:56 Adam You got to learn how to wrench when you got a $400 car. All right, buddy. And the chicks dig it because they like the rag top in Illinois?

1:19:06 Caller Yeah.

1:19:06 Adam All right. It's got to be tough during the winter, so right?

1:19:09 Caller Yep.

1:19:10 Adam What part of Illinois are you calling from?

1:19:12 Caller I'm calling from Mescuda, Illinois.

1:19:15 Adam Mescuda. No. Well, pretty tough, though. The winters get down. They get down pretty low in Mescuda.

1:19:21 Drew Mescuda Indians.

1:19:23 Adam Tough tribe. Tough tribe. All right, Bill. Where are you going after high school?

1:19:30 Caller Well, thought I'd take a break and then try and go for a local college.

1:19:35 Caller Don't know where we're going yet.

1:19:36 Drew Local college. That's a nice euphemism for junior college.

1:19:38 Adam We call that junior college around here, buddy.

1:19:41 Caller Yeah, I don't plan on going there. All right.

1:19:43 Adam Well, you want to go to a four-year college?

1:19:46 Caller Yeah.

1:19:47 Adam Like which one? Mescuda State?

1:19:50 Drew Northern Illinois?

1:19:52 Caller I guess.

1:19:53 Adam All right, buddy.

1:19:54 Drew I guess.

1:19:55 Adam Let me explain something, though, for those of you who are seniors in high school and there's three months left to school. I'm going to a four-year school, but I haven't taken the SATs. My GPA sucks. I've not done anything. Why don't you go raise the Titanic while you're at it? You're not doing anything. Taking a break? But here's the good news. You got the bad goatee. You got the 87 Stang with the four-banger in it. You're going to fit right in at the junior college. Yeah.

1:20:24 Drew That's the good news.

1:20:25 Adam You will be like...

1:20:26 Drew There will be a sea of him.

1:20:28 Adam You'll be like MacArthur returning to the Philippines to be a champion. That... you will be with your people. See what I'm saying?

1:20:35 Drew See your bills.

1:20:36 Adam Yep. Yeah. You go to a four-year school with that Stang, you will be judged and harshly. Mascuda. That's not convertible country.

1:20:45 Drew No. It's pretty ballsy.

1:20:47 Adam And here's the whole thing about $400 convertibles. The top is usually not pristine.

1:20:53 Drew No. Well, it's been in Illinois for a few years.

1:20:56 Adam These are the guys you see going down the freeway with the top lifted up like a sail.

1:21:01 Drew Like a parachute.

1:21:02 Adam It just looks like a huge bubble. Looks like where they keep the Spruce Goose down at Long Beach. It looks like the Cinerama Dome. There's a little opening in the front, it's like pita bread size opening, and then pow, the whole thing. This looks like the biosphere going down the freeway.

1:21:19 Drew Makes a nice racket too.

1:21:21 Adam It's awesome, and you got to think mileage wise.

1:21:25 Drew Oh yeah.

1:21:26 Adam You are essentially...

1:21:27 Drew What's aerodynamic?

1:21:28 Adam You're essentially... You're essentially having a sail on top of your car with an 80 mile an hour wind going the wrong direction, and you're trying to row against it. Awesome. All right, let's take a break. I bet it's a white convertible top too.

1:21:42 Drew Ask him.

1:21:43 Adam All right. Bill.

1:21:45 Caller Yeah.

1:21:46 Adam White or black top?

1:21:48 Caller Tan.

1:21:48 Caller And it's actually in good shape. Really?

1:21:51 Drew What color you say? Tan?

1:21:52 Adam Tan. I didn't even know they did tan.

1:21:54 Drew It's white.

1:21:54 Caller Red and tan.

1:21:56 Drew Red and tan?

1:21:56 Adam The car's red.

1:21:58 Caller Yeah.

1:21:59 Adam It's really, it's white.

1:22:00 Drew It's just it's dark.

1:22:02 Caller It used to be tan. Got a red paint job.

1:22:05 Adam Oh, really? Nice. All right. Five speed or you got the automatic?

1:22:11 Caller It's an automatic.

1:22:12 Adam Oh, right. Really makes that four cylinder come alive.

1:22:15 Caller Yeah.

1:22:16 Adam All right, buddy. All right, listen, enjoy yourself.

1:22:20 Caller You too.

1:22:21 Adam This is a man, by the way. This ain't the little fagatinos your kids go to school with, Drew. This guy's got a goatee. He's from Korgistan.

1:22:31 Caller But what was that thing he opened his call with?

1:22:34 Adam I don't know. He opened it up like a bad, bad Martian drop. But this guy's got a goatee. He's got a $400 car. He wrenches on it. Ain't no figure skating for him.

1:22:47 Drew No, no, no. No pianos.

1:22:49 Adam His car's 15 years away from the advent of the airbag. Not even close. Know what I mean? He barely has that third brake light. Barely. Just got under the wire for that third brake light in the back. Know what year that was? 86.

1:23:07 Drew 86?

1:23:07 Adam Yeah.

1:23:08 Drew Wow.

1:23:08 Adam 87. 86, 87. Yeah? Wow.

1:23:11 Drew Seems like it was...

1:23:12 Adam Brand new item for you.

1:23:14 Drew That's right, buddy.

1:23:15 Adam Coming on 20 years. All right, let's take a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Jeremy. Had excess veins in his testes five years ago. We'll talk to him after this. Yeah, Loveline, y'all, I'm Adam.

1:23:37 Caller That's Dr. Drew.

1:23:40 Adam Let's get to the phones, Drew.

1:23:41 Drew Let's do.

1:23:41 Adam See what we can do to help the kitties, huh?

1:23:43 Caller Perfect.

1:23:45 Adam Let's talk to this poor SOB's been on hold for 65 minutes.

1:23:49 Caller Gilbert?

1:23:51 Drew Snowing, sleeping.

1:23:52 Hey, what's up, guys?

1:23:53 Drew Oh, there he is.

1:23:53 Adam What's going on, Gilbert? You're 21.

1:23:55 Caller Yeah, I'm 21. And I would like to know what are the options or the procedures of getting a circumcision.

1:24:04 Drew I understand what you're asking.

1:24:05 Adam Well, you can get one at your 21 years.

1:24:09 Drew Go to the neurologist and they do a circumcision. Circumcision is the procedure.

1:24:13 Adam Well, he wants to know recovery time, maybe money, you know, how much?

1:24:20 Caller Yeah, I'll go all that type of info.

1:24:22 Adam Yeah, well, here's the thing. I'm going to take a few guesses. One is, I'm guessing it would be covered by insurance if you could prove you're having some sort of difficulty or some problem, okay? So unless it's just something other than a religious choice or maybe a cosmetic choice or maybe even a religious choice, you could get them to do it, although that'd be probably a tougher sell. But if you're having a little narrowing or infections or whatever, you could probably sell it as a medical prom and therefore they would pay for it. If not, it's got to be under two grand.

1:25:01 Drew Yes, for sure, I think so, and it's not a big deal. You're only out of commission for a couple of weeks.

1:25:06 Adam All right, you're having problems?

1:25:09 Caller Well, see, I've got to a point where I have no self-esteem, and I'm in deep depression, and it's just bugging me.

1:25:21 Adam Hold on, did you edit yourself, your deep depression?

1:25:25 Caller Yes, it's like I'm isolated from the world.

1:25:28 Drew Well, there's nothing to be pained at.

1:25:29 Adam Yeah, by the way, out of the... I'm not sure how well what goes on with the Eastern Indians or the Chinese folks, but if you feel isolated from the rest of the world, the great majority of the world isn't circumcised.

1:25:47 Caller Right.

1:25:50 Caller But, I mean, you know, we live in... What better country to have this done, right?

1:25:57 Adam Yeah, it's one of the greatest circumcision countries in the world. I've always said that.

1:26:01 Drew Yeah, you're still not in a huge minority having no circumcision.

1:26:05 Adam Well, here's... OK, here's the thing, Gilbert. Here's what we're getting at. If you're doing this for emotional reasons, that may be something you might want to look into.

1:26:17 Drew It might give you some relief for a short period of time, but you're still going to be back in the same stew.

1:26:20 Adam If you're having some sort of physical problems, that's another issue. But it sounds to me like you're depressed and you're blaming your foreskin.

1:26:28 Drew Right. You feel ashamed. You feel low self-esteem. So if you fix that, you'll suddenly feel like a... Yeah.

1:26:34 Adam Something else is going on with you. You know, you need to...

1:26:38 Drew If you want to work on something, work on getting a good job and building your life.

1:26:42 Adam You're like a girlfriend and a decent job away from feeling good.

1:26:45 Drew Retaining your foreskin.

1:26:47 Adam Yeah. Yeah, Gilbert?

1:26:49 Caller Yeah. Well, actually, you know, because I have the privilege of living with both my parents, I feel as if I have a duty to act, you know, a saint. And because of that, I abandoned everything that I enjoyed. Now I'm in this position.

1:27:12 Drew What the hell does that mean?

1:27:13 Adam I have no idea. Gilbert, what did you abandon that you enjoy?

1:27:20 Caller First of all, the career choice I made.

1:27:23 Drew Which was what?

1:27:25 Caller It was going to be in auto electronics.

1:27:30 Drew Why did you abandon that?

1:27:32 Caller Because it wasn't the preference of my parents' choice.

1:27:38 Adam I know what it's like when you have to give up your dream of putting subwoofers in jetties.

1:27:44 Drew That's a tough dream to give up.

1:27:45 Adam You know what I mean? Pulling cardboard panels.

1:27:49 Caller Yeah.

1:27:50 Drew Plastic.

1:27:50 Adam Off door liners and crawling around.

1:27:54 Caller You know what I'm saying?

1:27:55 Drew Sticking that pioneer in the dash.

1:27:57 Caller Yeah.

1:27:57 Adam It's got to be rough. Yeah. Now, boy, they got everything. They got XM. That's trough. That's tough. You got crawling around.

1:28:05 Drew It sounds like socially sort of retarded too.

1:28:08 Adam Gilbert?

1:28:09 Caller Yes.

1:28:10 Adam So you had to abandon your dream of installing stereos and do what?

1:28:18 Caller It's going to sound weird. I know it's not the ideal dream, but it is, but not for someone of my intelligence.

1:28:27 Caller I'm just a doctor.

1:28:30 Adam Your parents want you to be a doctor?

1:28:32 Caller Well, it's more of they decided that, yes, that was a good career for me.

1:28:40 Drew Being a physician?

1:28:43 Caller You know, I'm new to this whole surrounding, so I don't know if that's the name.

1:28:53 Adam Are you going to school? Hold on, Drew. There's a lot of doctors who don't know the name of their job. You go to junior college?

1:29:03 Caller I was, but because of this problem, I couldn't take it.

1:29:11 Drew Yeah, but you need to see somebody, buddy.

1:29:13 Adam Yeah. You know, Gilbert, you sound like a good guy who... You know what it is, Gilbert?

1:29:21 Drew Floundering.

1:29:22 Adam No. Let me say this.

1:29:27 Drew Don't tell him something Oprah asked.

1:29:28 Adam No, no. It's not going to be Oprah asked, but yeah, it's going to be Dr. Phil. You know what you got to do right now? You got to live... You got to make decisions. Is Gilbert going to do the right thing? Is Gilbert going to do the wrong thing? It's as simple as that, buckaroo, bonsai. You pick yourself up by your own bootstraps, you get to work. That's as easy as it is. That's as long and short of it. I wish there were more, but there's not. We got to go commercial. All right. So you're cured? Here's what you... You know what you're like, Gilbert? I'm going to stick with your stereo AV stuff, which is you're like a nice piece of equipment, like one of those projection screen televisions, and your mirrors aren't lined up just right. They're a little bit off. The component tree is there. It's just you need an adjustment. You see what I'm saying?

1:30:16 Drew By a specialist.

1:30:17 Adam By a specialist. Yeah?

1:30:19 Caller I can definitely agree with you.

1:30:22 Adam Okay.

1:30:23 Drew Okay, Gilbert. There we go.

1:30:24 Adam Well, another satisfied customer. Gilbert.

1:30:27 Drew Do you have a family doctor?

1:30:29 Caller No. Low income.

1:30:31 Adam What is there? It's a low income family?

1:30:34 Caller Low. Very low.

1:30:36 Adam Very low. And in your parents, are you sure they want you to be a doctor?

1:30:44 Caller You know, they just didn't like the fact that I would have clients coming into my house and having the whole underground.

1:30:54 Adam Right. Okay. I see. All right. Gilbert, it's time to get a good job and move out of the house, get a girlfriend. You can do it.

1:31:01 Drew And if you can't, the LA County Mental Health Services. There you go.

1:31:05 Adam That's right. And by the way, the guys that are looking to get the plasma screen and the headrest and the subwoofer in the SUV and they're looking to do it on the cheap, close your eyes, Gilbert's house. Picture that guy.

1:31:18 Drew I know one of the parents don't want to hang around.

1:31:20 Adam What do you think, who would you least like to date your daughter? A Raiders fan or, and it's the same guy, by the way, or the guy who's really obsessed with car audio in the SUV?

1:31:34 Drew I'd rather have her date Gilbert than the guy whose car Gilbert is fixing.

1:31:37 Adam Really? Because you figure, devil you know.

1:31:40 Drew Gilbert's least harmless.

1:31:41 Adam Devil you know.

1:31:42 Drew And the devil I know.

1:31:43 Adam Devil you know, did I say that?

1:31:45 Drew Devil I know.

1:31:45 Adam All right, we'll take a break. We'll be right back. Yeah, well, that's it, everybody. Hot, hot heat in here tomorrow night. Thanks for listening. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:32:12 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:32:17 Caller The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station.

1:32:24 Adam The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:32:27 Caller Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, February 15, 2005