Episode 1000681255170

2:35 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised.

2:51 Voiceover This is Loveline.

2:55 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

2:58 Hey, buddy, it's Loveline. Yeah, I was just thinking of something.

3:03 Voiceover Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew out in Minneapolis tonight.

3:10 Drew Man, yes, indeed.

3:11 Adam And board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Somebody told me today that I start every show with, hey, buddy. And I said, I don't think I start every show with, hey, buddy.

3:23 Drew And they're like, no, hey, buddy, it's just, hey, hey, Loveline, hey.

3:26 Adam And I say, hey, everybody.

3:28 Drew Yeah, yeah.

3:28 Adam It's Loveline, but I don't say, hey, buddy.

3:30 Drew No, you've never said, hey, buddy.

3:32 Adam So I got a buddy who claims, hey, buddy, is his thing. And I stole it because I say, hey, buddy, on Loveline all the time. And I couldn't, I couldn't think of it. And I said, all right, I'll try to pay attention tonight. And I say, hey, everybody.

3:47 Drew Yes. Hey, everybody.

3:48 Adam Thank you.

3:49 Drew Yes.

3:49 Adam Why do people, what is that? And you know, my problem is, is I'm so easy to gaslight because I can't remember anything. And I'm always sort of daydreaming and I'm out of it. I'm not paying attention. I just believe them.

4:00 Drew But you know what happens to you? You know what happens to you? You, because of the way you were punished by the LA Unified School District, when somebody says you're wrong, you immediately assume they're right. And we find out they're not right, you get extra bad.

4:13 Adam Well, because they make me question my sanity.

4:17 Drew Right, right. But it's so many years of being beaten down by that goddamn system.

4:21 Adam Yes, I'm sitting, I think it started at home, quite frankly, Drew. But I'm sitting in between two college educated, bright, intelligent guys today, and they're both looking at me going, you start every show with Hey Buddy. And I was like, I do?

4:35 Yeah. Wow.

4:37 Adam Well, okay.

4:39 Are you sure?

4:39 Adam And then they started laughing, like, yeah, it's all you do. No, I say, Hey, everybody.

4:45 Drew Yes.

4:46 Adam Not copywritten. All right. Let's let's move forward here, Drew. Minneapolis.

4:51 Drew Yes, Minneapolis. I yesterday assisted. I now have I'm now an expert in penis enlargement.

4:59 Wow.

5:00 Drew I did a thing for Discovery Health Channel. I filmed surgery all afternoon yesterday. Penis enlargement surgeries.

5:06 What? What did they do?

5:07 Adam Clip the tenon?

5:08 Drew They clip the tenon. I actually assisted with that part of it. And it's pretty, pretty gruesome. You sort of pushing the penis away from the pubic bone. Guy named Brian Rosenthal in Beverly Hills, the guy that did this procedure. And then when they enlarge it, they basically sew, they un-glove the penis. They take all the skin off it. And they circumferentially pull off all the skin so they can dig underneath. And basically sew in a giant ravioli. Like a pop tart, like a soft pop tart. And they sew it in, they pull the skin back over it.

5:37 Adam They wrap it around.

5:38 Yeah, and there you go.

5:40 Adam That's donor tissue, by the way.

5:42 Drew That's correct. It's like, it's like, well, it's not really, it's like D, D-organified. It's like D, it's all the life's taken out of it. But the matrix of the donor is there. That's right.

5:51 Adam Well, I mean, that thing's coming off some kid who bought it on a motorcycle.

5:56 Drew And you put it on your penis.

5:58 Yeah.

5:58 Adam So anyone who puts those stickers on their license, I go, oh, oh, oh, oh, no. Well, hey, listen, you know, you, you know, you, you could, you could give corneas so that, you know, a young inner city child could see or you could pack a little heft on some fat Arabs joint.

6:17 Oh my God.

6:18 You know what I'm saying?

6:19 Drew Oh my God.

6:21 Adam What would bring you more joy, Drew?

6:23 Drew I'd rather have the retinas taken off. Thank you.

6:25 Adam Really? I don't know. I'm going to the big Arab guy. I'm going to the Sultan's honker.

6:30 Drew At least you see some action that way. Is that what you're saying?

6:35 Adam This is the way he would have wanted it. The tough part is, is if they grab, like, if I was going to, like, I do have the donor sticker on my license and I may very well end up on the Sultan's joint. Yeah. My feeling is, is here's the caveat. I want my own pecker meat on his pecker. I don't want my forehead on the guy's pecker.

7:00 Drew Why? Why does it matter? Why does it matter? Oh, you want your pecker. I see. You want the business end of you working with his business end.

7:08 Adam That's right.

7:09 Drew Otherwise, it doesn't fit in the sort of cosmic scheme of things.

7:12 Adam Well, would you want them to graph the skin from your scalp or your chin or your eyelids and pack it onto the Sultan's joint?

7:20 Drew But Adam, how about your nipples? Oh, they're sensitive. That's very important. They could be really awesome for you.

7:26 Adam I'm not sure if he'd want that.

7:28 Drew No, no.

7:29 Adam Nipples on his penis.

7:32 Adam The thing is, is the thing about the tissue is it's bought, right?

7:38 Drew Yeah, it's expensive.

7:39 Adam It's expensive. And I do believe it comes from donors and or, I don't know, transients or whoever. I don't know how you get into that tissue bank.

7:50 Drew I don't know. But by the time and the stuff really feels like real soft tissue, but it's all the organic materials taken out of it. It's just sort of the matrix left behind, like the superstructure.

8:01 Adam Either way, it came from a fellow human being at some point.

8:04 Drew How do you know so much about it? Where do you read about it? Where do you hear about this?

8:07 Adam Well, first off, I know everything.

8:09 Drew But first of all, pardon me for mentioning that you might have read about it. I beg your pardon. I'm so sorry.

8:14 Adam Yes, I don't read, but I know all.

8:16 Drew Yes, yes.

8:17 Adam All right. But is this guy down on Beverly or something?

8:22 Drew You did a hot dog procedure with him.

8:24 Adam Yeah, I went down. Me and Jimmy went down there a few years back and talked to this guy. Yeah. These guys are always a little off, by the way. And then the guys who do the penis enlargement, and most all plastic surgeons are always a little off. Teeth are a little too white, their scalp's a little too shiny. So it's something they've got the gold rope, gold chain bracelet. It was something a little off about these cats.

8:46 Drew This guy's a urologist, though. I don't think he's a urologist.

8:48 Guest Yeah, yeah, yeah.

8:50 Adam Well, whatever. You know what I'm saying. He goes and, you know, turns up, puts cans of corn in guys' underpants for a living.

8:57 Drew He claims that his patients are exquisitely satisfied. He's extra super happy. Yeah.

9:03 Guest All right.

9:05 Well, how much length?

9:06 Adam Hold on. How much length and how much width?

9:08 Drew About an inch to an inch and a half length and 20% in girth.

9:14 Adam 20% in girth. OK.

9:16 Drew Yeah.

9:17 Adam All right. And so that's, you know, substantial, right?

9:20 Drew It's something. I mean, here's the thing, though. You know, I think guys, when they do that, they sort of aim to impress and mostly sort of impress other guys. And, you know, I've seen his sort of the book and thing. It's like, yeah, OK, it's bigger, but it's.

9:32 Guest Yeah.

9:33 Adam Well, what percentage? You know, you never think about the gay clientele.

9:39 Drew Interesting.

9:40 Adam What about that? And how does that break down?

9:42 Drew Wouldn't you want them? Wouldn't they want to be less intrusive, as it were? You know what I mean?

9:47 Adam Well, I think I did have an anus tightening procedure. If that's what you're talking about.

9:52 Drew Yeah, that's kind of what I was going. Yeah.

9:54 Adam Yeah.

9:54 Drew Nice. That's good.

9:56 Adam Yeah. You use the skate key and, you know, brought ratchet in a little bit. No, here. OK, here's what I'm saying. If you're a straight guy, you want a large. Everyone wants a large penis. But if you're a straight guy, I mean, I mean, women don't care about it that much.

10:15 Drew Most don't. That's right.

10:16 Adam So if you're impressing other guys, if you're looking to impress guys, maybe it helps if you're gay.

10:22 Drew I don't know.

10:23 Adam I wonder what percentage. And then I don't know if this guy will guarantee his work in the in the ass. I mean, like, I would I would like I won't stand by. It's like, look, I'll honor the warranty on your Lexus. But if you take it off road. Yeah, right. No, I'm sorry. Warranty voided.

10:42 Drew It was not meant for the Baja 500. No, no, no.

10:44 Adam You take that.

10:46 Caller You take that.

10:47 Adam You go mudwamping in that Lexus voids to guarantee.

10:52 Drew All bets are off.

10:53 Adam No warranty anymore. I would say that with my penis work, if it was if it was going in the ass. Yeah, that makes sense. I probably have it. I'd probably have it on the wall right right under the, you know, no shirts, no shoes, no service sign. And then the playful kiss the cook. And then, oh, then the other one where the where the little characters laughing rolling on the ground and says, You want it when?

11:20 Drew No, except they'll be they'll be a little modification of that. You want it where?

11:24 Adam Yeah. Yeah, that's right. All right. So how much for this procedure, Drew?

11:29 Drew I don't know. I haven't found that. I actually interviewed the guy. I just assisted in the procedure. Going back to interview him.

11:34 Adam That's the first thing. First thing is.

11:36 Drew I know. I'm interested in the whole surgical part. I was.

11:39 Adam Well, I know you are. But people who are watching are interested in the feasibility of it. Absolutely.

11:45 Drew And that's why I'm going back and doing an interview with him separately about those kinds of things.

11:48 Adam So, all right.

11:49 Drew Well, scrubbed in. You know, I've had my gown on. My hands were in this guy's phallus. God sakes.

11:55 Adam What was the guy? I mean, how big was the guy? Did he need help?

11:59 Drew He wasn't that small. I mean, no. You would have been impressed.

12:03 Adam And it's hard. Well, it's hard to tell when the guy's flaccid anyway. Isn't it?

12:08 Drew They work them around. They show all different poses, as it were.

12:13 Adam You mean they get the guy wrecked?

12:15 Drew Yeah, a little bit.

12:16 Adam They do?

12:17 Guest A little bit.

12:18 Drew Boy, they're, you know, they're working that area and pulling it and, you know, working on it and stuff. And inevitably, something happens. And when they do some of the procedures.

12:28 Adam What the hell is going on in this world?

12:31 Drew In some of the procedures, they actually inject something into create an erection.

12:35 Adam They put a little because it's easier to de-glove the thing.

12:38 Drew That's for. I forget which procedure was. He said he has to do that. I think it's when they hit the corona. They put pad in the tip. Had that up to.

12:46 Guest Yeah.

12:48 Adam What's that called? What's that? What's that? Corona Circle called? Or our listeners called it something once.

12:53 Drew Oh my God. What was that? Oh, that's going to drive me crazy.

12:56 Adam And a great, great name to it. All right. All right.

13:01 Drew All right.

13:02 Guest There you go.

13:04 Adam All right. Well, he's doing the Lord's work.

13:06 Drew Yes.

13:07 Adam And you know, and then listen, listen, let me tell you something with all these saw bones who hide beneath the thin veil of, well, these people feel incomplete. Yeah, they need counseling. Not you to pack more layers onto their hunker.

13:23 Drew Well, I did ask.

13:24 Guest Whoa, it helps.

13:25 Adam You know, so these people, it's just like the guys with the, it's a woman trapped inside a man's fight. They need therapy. Not you to cut their joint off, you hacks.

13:36 Drew I did ask a thousand times what kind of screening they do. And it's like, well, they want it, you know, no major psychiatric problems. And then they want it. And they're all happy afterwards. My thing is, where are the year or two down the line? I wonder how happy are they then when they start focusing on other things they need fixed or whatever.

13:52 Adam Yeah. All right. Let's talk to Amber, who's 23. Amber?

13:58 Hi, Adam.

13:59 Adam What's happening?

14:01 Well, first of all, let me just tell you I'm blind because you've complained about me not telling you that right from the beginning before.

14:10 Adam Okay. Thank you.

14:11 Thank you.

14:12 Adam And thank you for not calling yourself impaired or visually challenged. Yeah.

14:18 Well, there's actually a difference between being visually challenged or actually they call it visually impaired and being blind. Visually impaired people have some sight, but they're not completely blind.

14:34 Adam But I yelled at some PC puss who told me it's visually impaired. That doesn't suggest you can't see anything. That just means you see out of one eye or out of focus or it could mean a thousand things. Doesn't mean blind. Impaired doesn't mean total loss of.

14:48 Exactly.

14:50 Adam All right, baby doll. So you see, what do you see when you open your eyes?

14:54 Well, I was in a car accident, lost my sight due to head injury, the optic nerve and whatnot.

15:00 Drew I remember you telling us this. Yes, I remember.

15:02 It was damaged, not severed, but severely damaged. I can see a little bit of movement, like when I move my hand back and forth in front of my eyes, I can see that. But I think it's partially me being able to see and then partially my brain actually, you know...

15:24 Drew Detecting the movement.

15:25 Making the movement. I'm not exactly sure which one it is because I can put my hand behind my head or underneath the covers of my bed, moved around and still see it.

15:33 How long have you been blind?

15:40 Adam That was David Alan Greer. Yeah. Hey, Amber.

15:43 Yes.

15:44 Adam Well, first off, I don't know many blind people, but I do watch a lot of paper channels. I know you must.

15:52 That's not surprising. Blind people only make up one percent of the entire population.

15:57 Adam Really? Well, I know you must be an excellent swordsman.

16:01 Drew Oh, yeah. Yes.

16:02 Adam I mean, because these blind guys, they take on four or five guys. They they're crazy with the swords or detectives.

16:08 Drew They do great detective work, too.

16:10 Adam Yeah. But with a sword.

16:11 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

16:12 Adam Yeah. All right. So you can't drive. What do you do?

16:15 Drew You string or num chucks.

16:17 Adam Num chucks are good, too.

16:18 No, no. Chuck.

16:19 Adam They're noon shots. They are noon shots.

16:22 Drew You're right. You're right.

16:24 Adam Yeah. Somebody screwed that up about eight years ago and everyone bought into it. There are always noon shots. All right. Go ahead, Amber.

16:32 Okay. Well, actually, I have two questions today. The first one is my period. It's very difficult to tell when they start for me because obviously I can't see the blood. You know, and as I've gotten older, they've become even more difficult for me to tell. I'd say since about June, July of last year, you know, I think I'll start my period, put a tampon in just to remove it eight hours later, completely dry.

17:02 Drew Okay, what's the question?

17:04 The question, well, I've heard you say before, Drew, on air that taking birth control pills for four weeks instead of three weeks will suppress your period.

17:14 Drew You take it continuous, so yeah, you can take it for four or six months at a time.

17:17 Exactly.

17:18 Drew You don't take the week off.

17:20 Exactly, exactly. Now, my gynecologist keeps telling me that's not healthy for you and that you should at least let yourself have a period every three to four months, if not every other month.

17:35 Drew Well, they're saying every four months to six months. I have heard that, but there's certainly a group that's advocating that there's sort of no limits on that.

17:45 Adam Hey, Amber.

17:46 Yes?

17:46 Adam Be able to work?

17:48 Unfortunately, no. Due to the accident, it kind of screwed up my feet. So I can only stand on them for about maybe 15 minutes to half an hour at one time.

18:01 Drew How old were you when this happened?

18:03 Fifteen.

18:04 Drew And what happened?

18:06 I was in the car with some friends. There were six of us, only four seat belts. Only two of us were wearing the seat belts. We were in a convertible jeep. We were speeding. No drugs, no alcohol was involved. But like you said, there was speed. We ran the stop sign and we got T-bones, sent us into a tailspin. And the four of us who weren't wearing the seat belts flew out. Two of us had minor injuries. Two of us had major injuries. One of us died. And I'd have to say out of everybody, I was the most severely injured.

18:41 Adam Although I would still count the dead one as the most severely.

18:43 Drew I would agree with you on that.

18:44 Guest You know.

18:46 Adam Hey Amber.

18:46 Yes.

18:47 Adam So do you watch TV even if you don't watch it?

18:50 Yes, of course. Okay. It's one of my few enjoyments, you know. And interestingly enough, TV is more comprehensible to me than movies are. I can't watch movies by myself and on my own because they're just too visual. And the majority of them don't make any sense.

19:08 Drew More complex too. TV is more for the-

19:11 simpler and although there are certain shows that I can't watch, for example, The Home Improvement Shows, you know. But I like that.

19:22 Adam The good news is you've never had to watch Fear Factor and see some-

19:26 Yeah, I've heard you complaining about the commercial.

19:29 Adam Very bad times.

19:30 I'm glad about that.

19:31 Adam All right. Do you have any idea what Drew looks like?

19:37 From what I hear, he's very attractive. And honestly, when I first began listening to the show, I had the biggest crush on him.

19:44 Adam All right. All right. That's enough.

19:46 Drew And strangely enough, Adam's forgotten what I look like too. It's been so long since we've been together.

19:50 Adam Yeah. I have used sort of a stocky, mulatto, bald and the cleft palate. Let's see.

20:01 Guest I feel compelled to go to strip clubs.

20:03 Hey, Corolla, before we get too far off it, I'll put together four opens, just four random opens to hear what you say. And I won't work into it, so I want to play it. So you ready to do that?

20:13 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

20:16 Here we go.

20:17 Adam Well, it's got to say, hey, buddy.

20:18 But now, but now it's not ready. Hold on real quick.

20:20 All right. All right.

20:22 Adam I know if Anderson's playing it, it's the way, hey, buddy comes out.

20:26 Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

20:29 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

20:33 Hey, everyone, it's Loveline.

20:36 Adam everybody. It's Loveline.

20:38 Drew So there you go.

20:39 Adam So it's kind of, you know what it is? Is that every gets swallowed on some of them.

20:45 Drew Yeah. It's everybody.

20:47 Adam Well, on two of them, it was, hey, everybody.

20:50 Drew Yeah.

20:50 Adam But the other two, it's everyone.

20:54 Drew It's clear, by the way, you mean everyone when you say everybody.

20:57 Adam Thanks, buddy.

20:58 Drew Yeah.

21:00 Adam Thanks, Anderson. Nice work, buddy. All right. Let's get to get in here and speak to, well, we got Germany or Florida. We got Amanda. I'm going to speak to Amanda. Amanda.

21:12 Hello.

21:13 Adam Twenty four.

21:14 Yeah.

21:15 Adam Hey, buddy.

21:17 Um, I'm a girl, but hey.

21:19 Adam Hey, dude.

21:23 Drew OK, here we go.

21:24 Adam Here we go.

21:25 OK.

21:26 Adam All right. And and act.

21:32 Guest All right.

21:33 You want to know?

21:34 Guest No, no, we don't.

21:36 Adam Now you're now gone. Please hang up on yourself. You've been on hold for 43 minutes. OK, this is a good time, Drew, to bring up the Saw DVD.

21:46 Drew Oh, yeah. Good idea.

21:47 Adam Not not saw as to see something, but saw as to fell a tree. Everyone who gets on the air tonight.

21:55 Wow.

21:57 Adam Now, Amanda is 24. She's over 18. She was technically on the air.

22:02 Drew She was on the air.

22:03 Adam Yeah, it was only for 22 seconds.

22:04 Drew Doesn't matter.

22:06 Adam I did most of the talking. All right. The point is, everyone who gets in tonight and is over 18 gets themselves a Saw DVD. This is a scary movie. Danny Glover is in it. Cary Elwes is in it. And Elwes, no one knows how to pronounce his name exactly, but Cary, we got for sure. And the Princess Bride guy. Anyway, critics say it's the creepiest movie ever since Seven. Did you see Seven, Drew?

22:33 Drew No, I didn't.

22:34 Adam Shocking. That was a good movie. Anyway, creepiest since that. And if you get in tonight, you can go to Derbyshire, England. Well, you actually don't get to go, but you certainly get to qualify to go over to England and watch Bloodstock. So you get in. The movie comes out on DVD February 15th, which is Tuesday. And anyone who calls in tonight gets in as long as you're over 18.

23:01 Guest All right.

23:02 Adam Where are we going now, Drew?

23:04 Guest We're going to Mike.

23:05 Adam Mike? Mike?

23:08 Hey, buddy.

23:09 Adam 19? What's going on?

23:12 Yeah, I'm calling very much. I'm trying to figure out, like, everything might get loaded on math or about any other drug. I have, like, this need to go to a surplus or either engage in type of facts. And I'm trying to figure out, like, what the reason might be.

23:29 Adam You're 19. You're high.

23:31 Drew Yeah, and the sort of the way to think about it is that particularly if you're an addict, when the reward systems become activated, there's a drive that gets activated. So you're sort of, you're high, but you also now have this sort of push to keep using and keep trying to sort of stimulate that part of your brain with highly arousing kinds of stimuli. And sex and, you know, extreme sports and speeding and doing more drugs and strip clubs will be part of that. It's really when people try not to do drugs that they start to engage in even more of that kind of action.

24:03 Adam Well, what is it, though? What is it, Drew, besides just impaired judgment, when you get effed up, you want to do things that are worse for you? I mean, nobody gets effed up and says, I'm going to go for a watercress salad and a little tofu stew.

24:19 Drew Right.

24:19 Adam They're like, I need a big, greasy, sloppy chili burger. Then I want to bang a hooker and perhaps would like to kill her and then have sex with her corpse. And then it's another too far too much.

24:30 Drew You've said too much.

24:30 Adam You've said too much.

24:31 I'm not. Hey, buddy.

24:35 Adam All I'm saying is, is then another cheeseburger and then it's off off to, you know, hunt a spotted house.

24:45 Drew Right.

24:46 Adam What is that? What is the bottom line to do everything that's evil and everything is wrong?

24:50 Drew The prefrontal parts of your brain, the part that controls impulses sort of shuts down and the part that sort of the impulse center, the drive center gets charged up. So one is being activated and one's being deactivated. And guess what? You're going to do the stuff that just feels good and is arousing and is thrill seeking, is gratifying in a very primitive and visceral kind of way. So you want to have, you know, chili and you want to go to strip club and you want to do more drugs. There you go. Right.

25:17 Adam Except for pot, which is something the man doesn't understand. The man just talks about, hey, hey, hey, drugs are drugs and high is high and intoxicates and altered is altered.

25:28 No, no, no, no, no.

25:29 Drew Yeah.

25:30 Adam You get high. You're much better customer than when you're drunk or high on coke or speed or something like that.

25:37 Drew You know, I think the reason there's such controversy about pot is that basically you're right, Adam, when people are actively using. It's when it stops working and they start sort of using less and either switch over to other drugs or feel all freaked out because the drug isn't working anymore. That's when they start fishing around for other kinds of behaviors.

25:56 Adam Well, it's also, it's an interesting thing, you know, I'm thinking about it now because now I'm thinking about the brothers. Brothers get high and the brothers are capable of violence when they're high, but they don't get the munchies. Maybe there's a different thing. Like here's the thing, a white guy gets stoned. He just wants to eat. But if you told him, hey, no eating, you got to go kick that guy's ass who disrespected you, the white guy would be like, I got to eat. Maybe I could kick his ass, but I got to be eating while I'm kicking his ass. And I don't even think I could kick his ass. I'm not sure if I can move. The only thing I can do is chew at this point. Someone has to feed cake into my mouth and I'll just chew. I'm not even sure if I can swallow. You're going to have to spit in my mouth and push it down there. Well, that's what I'm saying. Now, the brother, I got high as a kite with Snoop Dogg for like for like a whole afternoon. The guy didn't eat one thing.

26:54 Drew Interesting. But nor does he get very aggressive though, no?

26:58 Adam Well, now let's look at it this way. There is, you take the rap community. There's a certain amount of violence in that community.

27:07 Drew Are you profiling again? How dare you?

27:10 There is no racial bigotry here.

27:12 Adam I'm just saying, when a little of the violence we just spoke of broke out, there's a very good chance that the people that were involved with it were high. Because everybody's high all the time in that community.

27:28 Drew Yeah.

27:28 True.

27:29 Drew Yeah.

27:29 Adam Now, they ain't eaten, but they will throw down. You know what I'm saying?

27:34 Drew Yeah.

27:35 Adam White dude eats and doesn't throw down.

27:38 Drew It's interesting.

27:39 Adam You got to look into this.

27:40 Drew Yeah, I do. You're right.

27:41 Adam Next time you get someone on that functional MRI thing, figure out why white guys eat and black guys don't eat, and white guys can't get off the sofa and black guys can fight.

27:50 That's my main man, Ace. Thank you.

27:53 Adam Thank you. All right. Just to think about this food for thought if you're stone and you're white. We're going to take a little break. Dr. Drew's in Minneapolis tonight, and we'll be right back after this.

28:17 Yeah.

28:20 Adam Get It On.

28:21 Yeah. Got to get it on.

28:23 Adam Got to break it down.

28:24 Got to get it on.

28:26 Adam Engineer Chris in studio tonight. Whipped up. Looking good, buddy.

28:30 Drew Thanks, buddy.

28:31 Ready to rock.

28:32 Adam Yeah. Let's get it on, buddy.

28:34 Drew Let's get it on.

28:35 Adam Get a hand in.

28:36 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

28:36 Adam All right. Drew's over there in Minneapolis tonight. Drew.

28:40 Drew Yeah.

28:41 Adam Where are you physically broadcasting from?

28:44 Drew A boardroom, like a meeting room in a hotel.

28:48 Adam You're using your Zephyr?

28:49 Drew Zephyr. It's great.

28:51 Adam It's awesome. You sound better than you do when you're at radio stations.

28:54 Drew I know. I think this has to be the way to do it from now on. It's ridiculous. How weird is that? That's a little magical box I put on a phone line and I can broadcast from anywhere better than the big radio stations.

29:05 Adam Yeah. Now what do you bring? You have to bring your microphone too.

29:08 Drew Microphone, headset and the box.

29:09 Adam Headset? Headset?

29:12 Drew Cans. Cans. Cans.

29:14 Adam That's what we call them.

29:15 Drew I bring my can.

29:15 Adam That's what we call them in the business. All right. It's time to play a little Germany or Florida with young Keith who's 16.

29:22 Keith?

29:23 Hey, hey guys. How's it going?

29:24 Adam Good.

29:25 Drew Yahay.

29:26 Caller Yahay. First of all, Adam, you're hilarious. All my friends listen to you guys at night and then we talk about you at school the next day.

29:35 Adam Thank you. And thank them.

29:37 Caller Yes. And Drew, you do great work helping all the kiddies out there.

29:41 Drew Oh, thank you.

29:42 Caller Thanks, Keith.

29:42 Drew That's pretty funny, Keith.

29:45 Caller So Germany or Florida. OK. A man trying to torch a neighbor's home in a possible act of revenge suffered fatal burns when his car caught fire as he was driving away from the scene, police said. The man pitched a Molotov cocktail on the roof of his neighbor's roof, but his car burst into flames as he drove away, police said. His vehicle was ignited by fire and it stopped when it ran into a tree, the police spokesman said. The man later died of his burns at a nearby hospital.

30:18 Drew Germany or Florida.

30:19 Adam Wow. Man, the vindictive neighbor is very Floridian, but the Molotov cocktail is very European. Very European and old school too.

30:32 Drew I mean, that's just, I don't think the trailer park gas wielding habits of Florida could manage that.

30:41 Adam Yeah, I know that Molotov cocktail is one of those things that work so brilliantly in movies, but I'm not sure if I could pull it off without blowing the thing up in my hand or spilling it all over myself and sending myself on fire.

30:54 You guys gotta think moonshine and jugs too though.

30:57 Drew No, no, no, no, and then throwing it on the roof, that's a significant effort that, I don't know, Floridian, I don't know.

31:03 Adam Also, well, Florida has those flat roofs, so Germany, Germany's gonna have a steep pit. Whoa, Germany's, but let me, let's talk about a few things. Germany gets a fair amount of snow. Engineer Chris is holding up a dry erase board that says 22 inches, most Munich got last winter, by the way.

31:26 Drew Pitch roof, pitch roof. How do you can read that?

31:27 Adam They have a very steep pitched roof in Germany because it snows, anywhere it snows, you gotta have a pitch on your roof.

31:33 Drew You're right.

31:34 Adam That's the Molotov cocktail is gonna roll on to the lawn.

31:37 Drew Yeah.

31:37 Adam On the other hand, on the other hand, the Germans would be more apt to have a shingle, a wood shingle like a cedar roof that would catch on fire when it hit it.

31:47 Drew The rocks that the Floridians might have.

31:49 Adam Floridians would have a flat roof with that just tar mopped on it, those white rocks stuck to it.

31:55 Drew The rocks, exactly.

31:57 Adam Yeah, and way less, I mean, in Florida would, way less flammable. I mean, you know, roof-wise. It's rough.

32:04 Drew Yeah, and then let's think, now...

32:06 Adam Drew, you know, there's only one answer here. One of us goes Germany, the other goes Florida.

32:10 Drew All right, I'll go Germany.

32:11 Adam You're going Germany. All right, I'll go Florida. Keith?

32:14 All right.

32:14 Caller Adam, you rock again.

32:16 It's Florida.

32:18 Yeah.

32:19 Caller We thought we would see you at the Molotov cocktail.

32:20 Drew Well done.

32:21 Caller Yeah.

32:22 Hell yeah.

32:25 Guest S yeah.

32:27 Adam Yeah. Thanks, Keith. It really feels good, buddy.

32:31 You're calling from Burbank?

32:33 Adam Yep. Where do you go? Burrows?

32:34 Drew Burbank. Burbank, Adam.

32:37 Adam Oh, I'm sorry. Rape Bank, as it's known to anyone who drives an automobile through it. Oh, or actually pedestrians who attempt to cross the street, too.

32:47 Drew Such as yourself?

32:48 Adam Lots of chicken ass tickets handed out in Rape Bank, California.

32:51 Caller Rape Bank.

32:53 Adam Keith, where do you get your driver's license, buddy? You are in for a world class reading. It's awesome. It is going to be awesome.

32:59 Drew Haven't you gotten a jaywalking ticket yet?

33:02 I haven't.

33:02 Drew Don't they require that of the citizenship in Burbank?

33:05 Adam They'll usually hand them out once a year, even if people are infirmed or can't leave the house.

33:10 Drew They just mail them to you.

33:11 Yeah.

33:12 Adam Nothing. Never been raped trying to cross the street there in Burbank, huh, Keith?

33:19 Drew Go down by that media center. Wait till the walk light flashes that it's going to go to don't walk, just don't and walk in the street and see what happens.

33:28 Yeah.

33:28 Adam That's where I got mine. That's where I got mine, except for I beat mine. But again, you beat a ticket. By the way, here was my victory. I had to take two days off of work, one day to go down and get the court appointment, the other day to actually go into court to learn.

33:47 Drew You sure showed them. You beat it.

33:49 Adam Did show up. And so I missed two days of work. And my payment is not having to pay.

33:56 Drew Right.

33:57 Adam You beat it. Yeah. Here's what it's like. It's like, hey, Super Bowl is coming up. You got Philly, you got New England. I'm going to take Philly and I'm going to take one touchdown. And if you lose, you don't have to pay me. You just don't lose. I mean, you, you.

34:15 Drew Right. Right. You don't win.

34:17 Adam You don't win. You just don't lose. You just don't lose. And that's winning somehow. My thing is with the courts and with these chicken ass tickets is you wanted 108 bucks of my money. Now you lost, you owe me 108. Maybe that'll slow you down. Just a seahair the next time you attempt to hand out one of your chicken ass tickets to the fine citizens. By the way, pay your bills, you idiots. Jesus Christ. Seahair. Stop effing with your own community, would you, please? Please leave your own alone. You wonder why people, you know, that's the bumper sticker I want. You know, all those those ass kissers with the back the badge and all this nonsense they put on there. I'm going to put one. It's going to say, leave your own alone.

35:13 Drew That's not cops.

35:14 Adam Stop effing with the people that pay the taxes. Go after the criminal element, would you, please? Stop the chicken ass stuff.

35:23 Drew It's a great campaign.

35:24 Adam Leave your own alone. Yeah, I like that. I know us fat guys in nice cars present a very tempting target for you guys to do your raping. The government does enough raping for me. They take half my salary. That's not enough. You guys need a little extra something? Why don't you just dip into that half they take each year? Focus on that. All right. All right.

35:51 Drew Good times.

35:51 Adam Am I right?

35:52 Drew Yes, you're right.

35:53 Adam You're always right. Thank you, buddy. Let's talk to Ryan, who's 18. Ryan?

35:59 Caller Hey, what's up? I have a question for Dr. Drew. Yeah. It's kind of strange. It's pertaining to sleepwalking. Every time, or not every time, but about five times the last couple months, if I get drunk, my roommate will say, excuse me, sleepwalking.

36:17 Drew Yeah. What about that?

36:19 Caller It never happens when I'm sober. And I don't remember anything of it, obviously, the next day.

36:24 Drew All right. Well, I mean, drinking obviously makes your brain work differently, right? And there's various explanations for this. Some people get into a sort of withdrawal state. What time of night does this happen?

36:36 Caller I can still say, I mean, if I go to bed at about one, maybe around two.

36:41 Drew So an hour after you go to bed, you start walking around?

36:43 Caller Something like that.

36:44 Drew And do you blackout at night, too?

36:46 Caller I mean, I don't remember much before going to bed.

36:50 Drew Yes, you're in a blackout. And in blackout, people will march around and do all kinds of things they don't remember. And alcohol profoundly affects. Alcohol is a horrible sleep medication. Adam, I know you don't believe this, but.

37:00 Adam That's my medicine.

37:01 Drew I know your medicine. It doesn't really work. It calms you down, but it's not good for sleep. It actually, it kind of helps you fall asleep. But then you'll be in a state of abnormal sleep and do things like, you know, wake up or pee on things and things you wouldn't normally do. People urinate, get up and urinate in the middle of the night on their furniture and stuff. Yeah, that's part of this whole syndrome. And with the blacking out and that, you know, I usually only see that kind of behavior in people with a family history of alcoholism. You already have an abnormal relationship. Yeah. So you have family history, you probably have the gene. And so the relationship you maintain with alcohol sort of is pathological already, even though you don't actively have the disease. And yes, people get up and sleepwalk and pee on things and do all kind of that. About three or four hours after you go to sleep, because alcohol is a diuretic, you need to pee. And by that point, you're starting to have withdrawal. And so now you can't go back to sleep. So people drink more in the middle of the night.

37:51 Adam Is that your thing, Adam? I whizzed in the sink one time.

37:55 Drew One time?

37:56 Adam Did I say one?

37:58 Guest Every time?

37:59 Adam I meant 100,000 times.

38:00 Drew OK, OK. 100,000 times, God.

38:03 Adam Well, I said 100,000, right?

38:06 Drew Yeah, yeah, you did. Yes, you did. And when you were drinking, though, kind of blacked out, where did you pee?

38:12 Adam Who, me?

38:13 Drew Yeah, I mean, it wouldn't be in your usual sink. You'd sort of, I would pee in the window or I peed in the cat, in the cat, in the cat, in the cat.

38:20 Adam You see, you see on no, yeah, in the cat. Do you hear me?

38:26 Drew Yes.

38:26 Adam Do you hear me in the cat and not in the cat's mouth? No, that would have been a vacation for the cat. Oh, yes.

38:35 Oh, yes.

38:36 Adam No, Drew, I don't black out. I never black out.

38:39 Drew OK. But you don't have you don't have disturbed sleep. You just imagine your sleep is so screwed up already.

38:44 Adam You know, I've been sleeping pretty good lately.

38:47 Drew Really?

38:47 Adam Yeah.

38:47 Yeah.

38:48 Adam Not bad.

38:49 What?

38:49 I'm all right.

38:50 Adam I put my put my earplugs in. I put my big lovey padded eye shade on. I get in my oxygen chamber with bubbles.

38:57 My chimp.

38:58 Drew Are you for your nose? Are you keeping it open or something or something?

39:02 Adam No, I just I just I breathe out of my mouth. It's just, you know, it's been rainy. You know, it's been kind of moist outside. I just suck water off the side of the bed. I'm fine.

39:11 Drew Wow. It's good.

39:12 Adam Yeah, it's not bad.

39:14 All right.

39:14 Adam Let's let's keep a rock in here. I'm going to go to break a quick question for Scottish 25. Scott.

39:21 Hey, what's up, guys?

39:22 Adam What's happening?

39:24 Huge fan. You guys, you guys are great. I just want to let you know you're doing the Lord's work for sure.

39:28 Adam Thank you.

39:28 Drew Indeed.

39:29 Good work. Yeah, Adam, are you racing in the Long Beach Grand Prix this year? I don't want to go unless you're going to be in it.

39:35 Adam Oh, thank you very much. Did you see a couple of years back when I wiped out that guy?

39:42 I saw a little clip on a camel.

39:44 Adam Yeah, it was awesome. Everyone was like, well, what place did he come in? I was like, no place. He never finished. There was half a lap left and I drove him into the wall and he coasted for about 20 feet, but that was about it. That was fun. I don't know. I haven't been asked to do it. I'm sure I'm on some sort of list. That's desperation list. After they get to the A list, the B list and C list folks will get to me. So I may be asked, I may not be asked. I know they like to mix it up and they don't want to do the same people every year or maybe even every other year. All that stuff. But if anyone's listening and they're representing, I love them cars.

40:31 It's mostly bachelors and bachelorettes and stuff.

40:33 So I mean, I think you're definitely.

40:35 Adam Yeah. You know, the thing, the thing that's tough, it's true is like you go look at the years past. They've been doing the celebrity race out in Long Beach at the beginning of the Grand Prix, the celebrity Grand Prix they've been doing. And you go to the place where you do the training out in Willow Springs, California, and you look up at the wall and it's like, wow, there's Al Jolson and Bob Hope and President Reagan racing in the first one. Then I'm sitting there next to some guy from a Mexican soap and some chick was runner up on the Bachelorette.

41:09 And it's like, huh?

41:10 Adam Yeah, I got one guy in a giant bee outfit and the dye tech guy next to me.

41:14 And I'm like, what? What happened?

41:16 Adam And I'm sure they're looking at me thinking the same thing, but it's like, don't put the wall, you know, up on the wall, it's crazy. It's like, wow, look at that. It's Meryl Streep and Jimi Hendrix. Awesome. And he was dead for like 10 years before they started the race, Drew.

41:34 Drew That's a good draw.

41:35 Adam No, but seriously, I did like Frank Sinatra and Meryl Streep in 1981. And then I'm just sitting there in between some, some, some, yeah, the dye tech guy. All right, you ready to rock?

41:47 Drew Let's go, break time.

41:48 Adam We're taking a break. We're going to break it down. Yeah. And then we're going to come back. We're going to rock out. We'll be right back after this.

41:58 Love Line will be right back. Love Line of Adam. That's Dr. Drew in Minneapolis tonight.

42:10 Drew Snowing like a mother effort here too.

42:12 Nice.

42:14 Adam Catch any of those Grammys tonight?

42:16 Drew Just at a distance. Why? Anything interesting happened?

42:19 Adam I don't know. I saw one thing and it's like it's like I was being punished for doing something wrong. I turned it on an hour into it, had time to watch one act and it was Marc Anthony, Latin heartthrob. And I just, first off, I perpetually hate Marc Anthony because he sings that song, I Need to Know. Tell me little girl, cause I need to know. I need to know. It just keeps singing I Need to Know and it's like that song blows huge monkey ass. It's just a horrible, repetitive, crappy, derivative piece of steaming ass. That song sucks. And then if that wasn't bad enough, and I don't know what else the guy does, I'm convinced there's certain guys that are international superstars that nobody likes and nobody knows, but they keep working the international superstar and you just keep thinking, well, there must be something they know in Spain that I don't know. And you just sort of go along with it. I don't know anyone that listens to him. I don't know anyone who has his records. I don't know anyone who can name another song he sings. And just because you're not fat and you're Mexican does not make you a Latin crooner.

43:34 Drew A genius. Yeah.

43:35 Adam This guy is not. No, no, they do that. Oh, listen. I Ricky Martin is good looking. I understand that.

43:44 Guest That is name.

43:46 Adam Take his name, right? Yeah. Yeah. He's he's nice looking.

43:49 Drew I see it.

43:51 Adam Thank you.

43:51 Guest I see it.

43:53 Adam Marc Anthony is like five, seven hundred and forty pounds and all knows. He just he looks like a wet rat.

44:01 Drew I do.

44:02 Adam I'm just saying, why do you why do you get to be a Latin lover? How do you get to be that? How do you how do you get? Oh, yeah. I got well, I was I was, you know, banging Miss Miss Rio Grande. And then then I went and now now I'm banging jail. How does that work? Women can be fooled that way.

44:22 Drew Oh, yes.

44:23 Adam All you got to do is once once you're seen with J.Lo, now that's it. And you've you've you've been you've been labeled a Latin superstar.

44:34 Drew Now, you know, that is your goal once if she is somebody cool wants them.

44:38 Adam They all got to have them in demand. Yeah, it's like they're crappy purses. God awful, godly, horrible looking things. Five hundred bucks and they're fighting over them.

44:47 Drew Take a call real quick.

44:48 Adam Guys would never do that.

44:49 Drew No.

44:50 Adam Would we ever be fooled into that?

44:52 Drew No. In fact, we would nothing make us happier than something we really liked and really wanted that other guys didn't want.

44:57 Adam Yeah. And conversely, if there was a female equivalent to Marc Anthony and and some, you know, some big big superstar wanted today, it'd be like, have fun.

45:12 Drew Imagine, imagine it. There's, you know, right. There's somebody you really, really think is hot and no one else does. And they're all going after somebody you don't like. It's like, oh, fine. Enjoy.

45:21 Guest Yeah. All right.

45:22 Adam Latin heartthrob, though, Drew.

45:24 Drew Oh, yeah.

45:25 Adam All five, six of him. Awesome. Yeah. And he can't sing. Awesome. Yeah. Heartthrob. Heartthrob. Gloria.

45:32 Yes.

45:33 Adam You're 20.

45:34 Yes.

45:35 Adam What's up?

45:36 I have a question for Drew.

45:38 Yeah.

45:39 Guest All right. My boyfriend and I are all about really good sex. And he's been telling me about this thing that women can do when they orgasm, where they like squirt.

45:51 Drew Some women do that sometimes. Yeah.

45:53 And he's been telling me to like try to do it.

45:56 And I don't really know if I can or it's...

45:59 Drew No, no, no. That's something that either happens or it doesn't happen.

46:03 Really?

46:03 It's not something you can learn?

46:05 Drew No. No, no, no. No. You can pee on him if you really want to impress him.

46:11 Adam I would suggest it. I would say, get up in there. I think I'm close. Get in.

46:17 Drew Get closer.

46:18 Adam No, no. Closer. Yeah. Be awesome.

46:21 Guest Well, because I mean, I know some women have to like learn how to orgasm. I mean, you know.

46:25 Drew Yes.

46:25 Guest And then there's this woman who can and can't.

46:28 Drew Right. You're absolutely correct. But no, there's no way to learn this one as far as we know. And even the women that do it, only do it intermittently and really they can't predict when they're going to do it.

46:37 Guest Really? That sucks because he's all about that. He thinks it's the coolest thing and I feel bad because I can't do it for him.

46:44 Drew Whatever.

46:45 Adam Once again, you've disappointed a man.

46:47 Drew Just like Daddy.

46:48 Guest Not at all. He's never disappointed.

46:50 Adam Okay.

46:50 But I just had to know.

46:52 Guest That's all.

46:52 Drew All right. There you go.

46:54 Guest Not at all.

46:55 Drew No.

46:55 Adam He's never disappointed, but he's all about that. He really would have liked it, but I can't do it.

47:00 Drew He's always pushing for something more that he can't have.

47:01 Adam He's always pushing, but I'm never disappointed.

47:04 Drew Of course.

47:04 Guest I don't like this guy.

47:06 Drew No, me neither.

47:07 Adam And I don't know, Gloria's. I mean, it's good to please your man and all that. But when they ask you to levitate, you tell them they can't do it and then they get angry and pout. You know what I mean?

47:22 Drew Yes.

47:23 Adam What do you want? Yeah. All right. And I think there's some sort of feeling. And by the way, this thing is sort of like being able to roll your tongue up into a taco shape.

47:34 Drew That's right.

47:35 Adam Some people just do it out of the womb. And then other people need some duct tape and a tongue depressor and a cigar. And it just doesn't make any sense.

47:44 Drew CGI. Yes.

47:45 Adam Right. Right.

47:46 Caller All right.

47:47 Adam Let's take a little break. We'll be right back after this.

47:51 Caller All right, guys. Here's the deal.

47:52 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

47:56 Adam One call is all you need to make.

47:57 Guest Call the Dateline.

47:58 Drew 877-889-DATE. Call the Dateline.

48:03 LOVE-191.

48:17 Yeah, loveline of Adam. That's Dr. Drew.

48:22 Adam Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Our Dr. Drew is in Minneapolis tonight, where it's snowing.

48:29 Drew Yes, it is heavily.

48:31 Adam Two hours there or three hours?

48:33 Drew Two hours.

48:34 Adam Two hours.

48:35 Guest Yeah. All right.

48:36 Adam And here's my thing with the two hour, three hour thing.

48:39 Guest I'm fine.

48:40 Adam I can figure most of it out. It's just the states where it's split. I think Florida may be this way. Maybe Texas.

48:47 Drew Ohio.

48:49 Ohio.

48:50 Adam Ohio has a three hour part of it.

48:52 Drew A two and a three. Yes.

48:53 Adam Yeah. I don't know. No, no, no. You just decide. That's my thing. That's it. It's like, you know, it's like once, you know, you live in California, you go to these highfalutin weddings all the time. And it's like, well, she's Jewish and he's Baptist. So what we did is we went ahead and we had a priest and, no, no, you decide. I'm not going to sit through both these retards. You pick one, flip a coin. We're going one or the other. I'm not going to say I'm sitting through two weddings now. You got to pick one.

49:25 Drew Yeah, yeah.

49:26 Adam And go the priest.

49:28 Drew It's always faster or go to these non-dominational guys.

49:32 Adam Just pick something. Get some guys like Barefoot. You know, he calls his wife Starla. He drives a VW van and it's painless. You don't want to run by.

49:45 Guest Yeah, what's up?

49:46 Drew I'm just saying some guy tonight started yelling at me. He was a marijuana advocate, screaming at me because I just started talking about how, you know, it's addictive and how we're treating and stuff.

49:54 I was like, oh.

49:56 Adam But Drew, you hear every critique is screaming at you.

49:59 Drew No, you're right. You're right. No, he's just going to yell at me. I can't remember. He was in my face, you know, yelling. You like like nose to nose kind of thing. Where were you? Relax. I gave a talk tonight that this this convention, it's like, oh my God, this marijuana advocate guy was there. And it's like, oh, come on. I was just about to go do my thing. Anyway, good times.

50:20 Adam Well, listen, people people that smoke pot are very defensive about it because they don't want to be lumped in with the druggies. But the reality is, is once you got 20 years in your belt, yeah, of smoking out every day, you're a drug user, yeah, a drug user.

50:35 Drew And by the way, my whole thing is we don't give a rat's ass what you do. Go ahead, go enjoy.

50:42 Adam Yeah.

50:43 Drew Don't don't tell me what is or is not the case. What I know different.

50:46 Adam Just, well, they just work, you know, it's it's not physically addictive.

50:52 Drew Oh, here we go again.

50:53 Adam It's psychologically addictive. Yes, but it's not physically addictive. It's like, who cares? You got to smoke out every day.

51:01 Drew And I'm mad at myself for not saying exactly that, which is you stop or you either can stop or you can't. That's it. Very simple. If you're an addict, you can't. If you're not, yeah, that's fine. Whatever.

51:12 Adam Here's let's look at it. Let me put it to you this way. If it's not physically addictive, it's only emotionally addictive, then you're very weak-willed because you can't stop.

51:24 Caller Right.

51:25 Adam Now, if it's physically, you should hope it's physically addictive. At least you have an excuse.

51:29 Drew Well, the reality is that it's all brain chemistry, and if you can't stop, it's because of that brain chemistry, and that's what addiction is.

51:38 Adam What do you mean physically addictive? This is something we've bought, like a woman trapped inside a man's body for all these years.

51:46 Caller I don't even know what it means.

51:47 Drew It doesn't mean a goddamn thing. You can either stop or you can't, and if you can't, it's because of a particular biology of the reward system. That's it, period. There is no such thing as psychologically addictive. That term, that's the one that doesn't exist.

52:03 Adam Right. All right.

52:09 Drew That's right.

52:10 Adam It's just not as bad a drug, that's all. Yeah, that's right. All right. Let's see. I'm going to talk to some people who have been on hold for quite some time, starting with Brett, who's 17. Brett?

52:23 Caller Yeah.

52:24 Adam What's up?

52:26 Caller Nothing much. What's going on?

52:27 Adam Just checking your scene. What's your question tonight?

52:31 Caller Okay.

52:32 Caller Me and my girlfriend have some friends that they've been having sex for a long time and they use protection and everything. And a couple months ago, the condom broke on them. Like my girlfriend's all freaking out now and she wants me to use two.

52:45 Drew No, that's more likely to break. Two is more likely to break.

52:49 Adam But then three.

52:51 Drew Three, I don't know, but two is more likely to break.

52:53 Adam Well, I don't know if three is safer, but you get a little extra girth. And that's nice.

52:58 Drew You could avoid a surgery that way.

53:00 Caller Yeah.

53:01 Adam Like, you know, those ones that advertise super thin, sheer wall.

53:04 Caller I'm like, no, no, no.

53:05 Adam Give me the fat ones. Give me the super, give me the ones where it's essentially looks like a paint roller.

53:13 Drew Yeah.

53:13 Adam You know what I mean? I just want to, I'm looking to thicken up a little bit.

53:17 Drew Why not?

53:18 Adam Why not? All right. Let's forget about sensation.

53:23 Drew Well, you can last longer that way too.

53:25 Adam Yeah. Right?

53:27 Caller Yeah.

53:27 Adam Yeah.

53:28 Caller All right.

53:29 Adam One condom. Just get a good condom.

53:31 Caller All right. All right.

53:33 Drew That's it.

53:34 Guest All right.

53:35 Caller Thank you.

53:35 Drew Hey, keep the morning after pill around. That's really the backup you need. If there's a condom failure, morning after pill within a day, 90% protection.

53:45 Guest All right.

53:45 Adam Let's talk to Ashley, who's 19. Ashley?

53:49 Caller Actually, Ashley is my girlfriend. She went home, but I'm the one that has a question for you anyway.

53:54 Adam Well, he's been on hold for 70 minutes. Go ahead. What's your name?

53:58 Caller My name is Joe.

54:00 Adam All right. Go ahead, Joe.

54:02 Caller Well, me and my girlfriend, Ashley, we were having an intercourse one night, and she asked me if she could stick her finger up my butt. I said it was okay.

54:13 Drew Yeah, I know. Let him finish his bogus question.

54:17 Adam 68 minutes he spent for this. But here's the real question. Did the girlfriend actually go home? You know what I mean?

54:25 Drew Was she there? He's just taken over? Or was she even there? What do you mean?

54:29 Adam Well, maybe the girlfriend just called in. And yeah, I realize she must have called in. Otherwise, our crack phone screening staff wouldn't have let Uncle Joe on the phone say that he was Ashley. But was she slated to leave soon as he got online? Right.

54:47 Drew Once he got a girl hooked in, he could take over then. Yeah.

54:51 Adam Go ahead, Joe.

54:52 Caller Actually, I called first and they told me I have her call back and then she had to go home.

54:57 Drew That's what we're saying. We're making our case for us.

55:00 Caller Go ahead.

55:00 Adam Keep going with the finger.

55:02 Caller Well, the problem is that once she did that, it got me off really well. And now I can't get off unless she sticks her finger up my butt.

55:10 Drew No. No.

55:14 Adam We don't believe you, Joe. We don't believe your name is Joe.

55:17 Caller How about that?

55:19 Caller That's unfortunate.

55:20 Caller Yeah, I know.

55:21 Caller For you.

55:23 Adam Yeah, there's no 19 year old guys named Joe. No, maybe Joey, maybe. But not Joe. All right. So you've been on hold for 67 minutes and that's it. See, you really needed to build into it a little more slowly, Joe.

55:40 Drew And there needed to be a question.

55:42 Adam Right.

55:42 Caller Well, I have no question.

55:43 Caller There was a way I could get off without her sticking her finger up my butt.

55:47 Drew Yes.

55:48 Adam I think you've managed to do that several thousand times without her in the room.

55:53 Caller You know what I'm saying?

55:54 Caller Before, but once she did that, now I'm having trouble. I have not been able to get off without her putting her finger up my butt.

56:00 Adam You've turned the corner. There's no going back. And by the way, that's not how guys work, Joe. You successfully beat yourself off 1,555 times before her and her index finger walked in your life.

56:16 Caller Oh, definitely.

56:17 Adam Yeah. You can do it again. Probably, I'm probably doing it right now. So don't worry about it. And again, a non-question.

56:25 Caller How do I?

56:27 Adam This is a chick question, perhaps, although chicks don't ask bogus questions. But for guys, this doesn't exist. It does, you know, I don't know if you're watching, you know, Dr. Phil, or maybe it does if you're reading those crappy Vogue and Cosmo magazines.

56:43 Drew How do I fill the blank?

56:45 Adam Yeah, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a guy, I'm 19. I've been getting it on with a girl and having at myself and all that for a number of years. Then one night she puts her index finger up.

56:56 Drew And I can never go back.

56:57 Adam And now I can't orgasm without it.

57:00 Drew Yeah.

57:00 Adam BS.

57:01 Drew Yeah, that's, that's BS. That's just BS.

57:04 Adam You could orgasm during a autopsy with your dork and a wood chipper when you're 19. You could stand, you could actually watch them actually get that pizza cutter out and get the skull, get the ribs spread around. And you could have your penis in a wood chipper and achieve an orgasm.

57:25 Drew And by the way, here's the, here's the, agree with me on this, Adam. The male that actually suddenly does have some problem orgasming will tell you all the things he's tried to overcome the problem. He will, including the wood chipper or whatever, he'll be like, I tried it and they'll be, he'll be freaked out. Like, I tried this, I tried that.

57:41 Adam And call what, what do I do? Yeah. The next part of the bogus question is thinking he was gay.

57:47 Drew Oh, is that right?

57:48 Adam That's usually, that's usually whenever there's fingers in the butt.

57:51 Drew Yeah.

57:53 Adam There's the, yeah. I'm wondering if I'm gay.

57:56 Drew Yeah.

57:56 Adam All right. All right.

57:57 Guest Let's, well, that's all right.

57:59 Drew Well, you got the girlfriend to do it for him though, right?

58:01 Adam Yep. Mary?

58:03 Hello?

58:04 Adam You're 16?

58:05 Caller Yes, I am.

58:06 Adam What's up?

58:08 Caller Okay. Today I was rehearsing with my band and then we got drunk and there were four guys in there in total. One of them is my boyfriend. And I had sex with my boyfriend with the three guys watching and I was wondering if you guys think that makes me a whore.

58:28 Drew Well, it would Emily Post say.

58:31 Adam Yeah. I mean, it doesn't make you a saint. I don't know if it. I don't want to pass judgment.

58:37 Drew What is it?

58:38 Adam I don't know quite what you're eligible to be like vie for the Rose Queen candidate this year. You actually just had intercourse with the other three guys standing around.

58:52 Caller They were like they were drunk too. So they weren't just messing around then.

58:55 Drew They were masturbating is what you're saying.

58:57 Adam What were they doing?

58:59 Caller I don't I'm not really sure. I wasn't really paying attention.

59:02 Drew Adam, please. What do you think they were doing?

59:06 Caller Just hanging out like one of them was shooting a BB gun at a peanut or something.

59:13 Adam And why why did you decide to do it in front of them?

59:17 Caller Well, I wasn't really I wasn't really paying attention to what was going on like. Like I said, I was really drunk and me and my boyfriend were thinking about having sex for a while.

59:27 Drew So this was your first time?

59:30 Caller No.

59:31 Drew I'm confused. What do you mean you're thinking about having sex for a while? What does that mean? I mean, that day that day you've been talking about it.

59:38 Caller Yeah. And like we were supposed to go to a party, but that got canceled. So we were like, oh, then might as well have our own party.

59:47 Drew We just out of your mind loaded on multiple substances?

59:51 Caller No, I was just using one.

59:54 Drew But really, really drunk though?

59:57 Caller Not, yeah, a little bit.

59:59 Drew I mean, not to know what you were doing. And what is it? You're ashamed of this now and you want to know if you can be not ashamed?

1:00:05 Caller Well, it's not that I'm ashamed. It's just like, I kind of feel like, wow, why? Like, how bad of a person am I?

1:00:15 Adam Well, I don't know. Look, you're not a bad person, but you're getting a little momentum with the booze.

1:00:21 Drew Right, you've got some substance problems.

1:00:23 Adam Obviously, someone who makes bad decisions when you're drunk.

1:00:26 Drew Right, and that usually means alcoholism. People, alcoholism is defined by the consequences. And here now you're starting to accumulate some consequences, so you've got an alcohol issue. You probably have some boundary issues where you don't really perceive boundaries well, which means that something happened to you growing up, like some physical abuse or something. And you know, those are the behaviors that manifest in someone with that history. Now if you want to do something like that, if you feel bad about it, go ahead and get some help.

1:00:53 Caller What if I don't feel bad about it?

1:00:56 Adam All right, well don't bother us then.

1:00:58 Drew Yeah.

1:01:00 Adam Why'd she call if she didn't feel bad about it?

1:01:02 Drew That's right, that's right. And I like the way people are feeling, they feel bad until you suggest they might feel bad, that is what makes you think I'm gonna feel bad about that? I don't care, I don't care.

1:01:13 Adam The man is telling them, yeah.

1:01:15 Drew You feel bad, I don't care.

1:01:17 Adam All right, so that's right. Just enjoy and it's just rehearsal with the band's gotta be a little rough.

1:01:26 Drew Oh yeah.

1:01:27 Adam But all right, just do what you wanna do. We don't care, we're not here to judge.

1:01:32 Drew No, or to profile.

1:01:34 Adam Yeah, Tasha?

1:01:35 Yeah, hi.

1:01:36 Adam You're 19?

1:01:37 Caller Yeah.

1:01:38 Adam What's up?

1:01:39 Caller All right. Well, Monday or last Monday, like I found out that I was like pregnant, you know? And well, I called my friend who works at Planned Parenthood that she like doesn't really know that much. So I just wanted to know, I have a couple of questions, but one of them is how far along do you have to be to get like the physical abortion?

1:02:00 Drew What do you mean the physical abortion?

1:02:02 Caller I know there's like the pill and I know that there's the vacuum. Everyone that I know is like well you know, the pill makes you really nauseous and gets you really sick and everything.

1:02:12 Drew No, they're thinking of something different, but go ahead, keep going.

1:02:15 Caller Yeah.

1:02:18 Drew Those are the options basically.

1:02:19 Caller Yeah.

1:02:20 Drew That's it, you have the vacuum and you have the pill.

1:02:22 Caller Yeah, so but then I know with the vacuum, like the people or the few girls that I know that got the vacuum, like they've been about like five, about now four to six months pregnant and I don't think.

1:02:38 Drew No, they were not that.

1:02:39 Caller No, they weren't that far along.

1:02:41 Caller Well, I know like the latest was probably about five, but I think I'm like probably about like maybe late, like probably going into my second month or something.

1:02:50 Drew All right, you got to get in there right away, come on.

1:02:52 Caller Really?

1:02:52 Drew What are you doing? What are you doing?

1:02:55 Adam Yeah, yeah, listen, time's on your side, Tasha. You just slow it down, little girl, relax.

1:03:00 Caller Check this out though, like my best friend, right? She's like this hardcore Christian chick and like I've been seriously thinking about whether I should have it, whether I shouldn't, but like she came up to me the other day and she was just like, well, you know, I really don't want you to get this abortion. But it's like, you know, if it has to, like if it has to come to it, then I'll like, I'll adopt it. And I was just like, like first, like it didn't really dawn on me like how ridiculous that sounded until like, like the first thing I, huh?

1:03:26 Drew Adoption, we think, is a great option. We think that's a great way to go and a courageous way to go. And if you want to go that way, that's fine. I wouldn't give it to another 15-year-old. But yes, certainly there are plenty of capable parents out there.

1:03:36 Adam She's 19, Drew. How dare you?

1:03:38 Caller But she's 20.

1:03:39 Adam Yes, but the fact that she's different. The fact that she's born again suggests that she has some mental disorder. I mean, let's be honest. It just is. It's one thing to have a little spirituality. It's another thing to just be too big a puss to admit there's nothing out there. That's really most people. 90% of the, well, 50% of this population of this country is just, they sort of suspect that there's really nothing going on out there, but they're too big a puss to chance that. So they just sort of, yeah, there's something. There's something. But when you start getting in the born again part of it, then you're into, look, is there anything? Look, I say if you have a woman trapped inside a man's body, that person's psychiatric case, you got a guy you got a personal relationship with that was floating up in the sky looking after you, big difference in those two thoughts?

1:04:39 Caller Really?

1:04:40 Caller Really?

1:04:42 Adam Not considered a mental disorder? And then what is? The Shiites who fly the airplanes into the buildings?

1:04:50 Caller What?

1:04:50 Adam Are they just, they're just very devout people? They should be respected? Do you know what I'm saying? Like at what point does it become a disorder? Yeah?

1:05:00 Drew That's good. That's something people grapple with, for sure.

1:05:03 Adam I'm going to the mountaintop. I got a six pack and a folding chair and the Raptors coming this weekend. Yeah? Sane person? That the person you want raising your kids?

1:05:14 Drew But anyway, what's his caller's name again?

1:05:17 Adam Tasha.

1:05:17 Drew Write it down. Tasha. Get back to Tasha. This business about adoption and what she's doing, she needs guidance. You need support. You need somebody who's used to helping people through these kinds of situations. You're going to make up your own mind, but right now you are in denial and the clock is ticking and you may have limited options if you let too much time sweep by. All right.

1:05:38 Adam Tasha, you need to haul your ass into Planned Parenthood tomorrow and make a plan.

1:05:45 Drew Immediately. I mean immediately. Yes.

1:05:47 Caller Okay. Yeah. Well, see, I had lunch with her today and I was like, well, I just, I made up my mind. Like I was seriously like this thought this whole week, trying to like think, well, should I do it? Should I not? You know, but I told her and she was like, she got really sad and she was like, I was like, so what's wrong? You know, and she's like, I wanted a baby.

1:06:07 Drew Look, get to the Planned Parenthood. You listen, you are all over the place. Get to Planned Parenthood or get somewhere where they can give you some counseling. Okay, figure this out.

1:06:15 Caller Well, I just got like my PAP results back. And they said it was normal and I need a caposcopy. Like will it interfere with each other?

1:06:24 Drew Like they may limit what they can do. Did you, did they know you were pregnant?

1:06:29 Caller No, not yet.

1:06:31 Drew Look, get in there, please. Look, you might, you're going to get cervical cancer and ignore that. Let's go. Come on, come on. All right. Get going here.

1:06:38 Adam Stop, stop taking advice from somebody thinks the earth is 2000 years old.

1:06:42 Drew Or anybody else would go to the doctor, would you?

1:06:45 Adam Look, here's, look, let me explain something, please. Everyone listen. Most people are idiots. That's number one. Number two, most people in their 19, 18, 17 are idiots. And then you, you, you put the chick part on there. Now you got a real problem. You chicks who are 19 listening to your other 19-year-old friends, oh my God. You want to talk about bad advice. You want to talk about a horrible leader. You're, we sit here every night. My nine, Tammy, she's 17. She says that you shouldn't be listening to any chick who's not a lesbian under the age of 30.

1:07:32 Drew Yeah.

1:07:32 Adam That's right. I said it. Only lesbians know what they're talking about under the age of 30. Am I right, Drew?

1:07:41 Drew You're right.

1:07:41 Adam Thank you, buddy. You're very, you're very smart to know I'm right. All right. Let's talk to, and here's the thing. Guys are stupid too. They just don't talk as much. Or if they do, they talk about sports.

1:07:55 Drew Yeah. They limit their, yeah.

1:07:58 Adam Guys, you know, when 19 year old guys with other 19 year old guys, don't give advice. Like if there was a 19 year old guy who was, who was pregnant, like if guys could get pregnant, you're 19 and you hung out with your other 19 year old buddies and you're like, I'm three months pregnant.

1:08:14 Guest I'm missing my period.

1:08:15 Adam I don't know. My dad's going to kill me. Here's the advice you'd get. You're aft, dude.

1:08:19 Drew No, no, no.

1:08:20 Adam All right. Are you going to finish that sandwich?

1:08:22 Drew No, no.

1:08:23 Adam Don't do that. No, no, no.

1:08:25 Drew Wouldn't they first laugh their ass off?

1:08:26 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:08:28 Drew Yeah. OK. Just say it first, then do your thing. Yeah.

1:08:31 Adam No, no, no. No, no, no, no. No. Give me an idea.

1:08:36 Guest Say something.

1:08:38 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1:08:43 Drew That doesn't work.

1:08:44 Adam No, no.

1:08:46 Caller No.

1:08:48 Guest All right, Drew. Stop doing that. It's a horrible habit.

1:08:50 Adam Fair enough. Not something to add. Fine, add it.

1:08:53 Caller No, no, no, no. No, no, no.

1:08:57 Adam Add a joke. All right. Let's take a break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, buddies. It's Love Line, man. That's Dr. Drew in Minneapolis tonight. Just got mad at Drew, feeling no, no, no. And we're back, ready to do the show. Now, Drew's point is well taken, though, which is, yeah, guys would laugh. Guys normally laugh first. Right. And then the advice they dispense is you're aft.

1:09:44 Drew Right, and then they want whatever you've got in your hand.

1:09:47 Adam Yeah, and a lot of, a lot of, that's how, when 19-year-old guys give advice to other guys, they don't give advice as much as they react to what horrible situation the other person's in.

1:09:58 Drew Right, that's right.

1:10:00 Adam And then they do a lot of what were you thinking, and man, you're screwed, and my dad would kill me if I was, you know, actually, they make things worse.

1:10:08 Guest Yes, yes.

1:10:10 Adam And the other thing that 19-year-old guys have is no means to do anything. Like, look, if you needed 200 bucks for the abortion, it'd just be like, wow, what are you gonna do?

1:10:22 Drew Yeah, it's like, no way.

1:10:23 Adam Impossible. All right, let's keep on keepin on and go to the phones and speak to Stella. Stella?

1:10:33 Hi.

1:10:34 Adam What's up, baby, you depressed?

1:10:37 Yes, I am.

1:10:38 Caller Why?

1:10:40 I have this, I can't stop using crystal meth. And it's, everything's too hard and I need to go back to rehab.

1:10:51 Drew Yes, that's true. Why don't you just do that?

1:10:54 I don't know, I need to find a center and that's why I'm calling you guys, please.

1:10:58 Drew Where are you?

1:10:59 I'm in Los Angeles.

1:11:02 Drew And do you have insurance?

1:11:04 Medicare.

1:11:05 Drew Medicare, oof, Medicare, you know, doesn't cover treatment of addiction, right?

1:11:09 Caller Like my dad doesn't mind pain, I just want help, you know?

1:11:13 Caller Hey, dad will pay?

1:11:15 Caller I'll pay, I don't care, I'm out.

1:11:16 Drew How old are you?

1:11:17 Caller I'm 18.

1:11:19 Adam Drew, write it down, buddy.

1:11:20 Drew Why don't you go to Casa de Las Amigas in Pasadena, there's a, it's a fairly reasonably priced and people have been through treatment before, it'll be good for you, okay?

1:11:30 Caller Casa de what now?

1:11:31 Drew De Las Amigas in Pasadena. Casa de Las Amigas.

1:11:35 Adam They do great work and they have, it's home of the three pound burrito.

1:11:39 Drew If you, if you still have trouble, I work in a place called Las Encinas Hospital in Pasadena, also if you're feeling like hurting yourself or really feel like you need more monitoring that a sort of residential place can handle, give us a call, okay?

1:11:56 Caller Las what now?

1:11:57 Drew Encinas, E-N-C-I-N-A-S.

1:12:00 Adam E, sorry, my, my, She still may be on the CASA part.

1:12:06 Drew Yeah.

1:12:06 Caller Could you spell it again?

1:12:08 Adam It's gonna be awesome. She's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna call information. She's gonna get an auto upholstery place.

1:12:14 Drew No. L-A-S-E-N-C-I-N-A-S.

1:12:21 Guest Oh, boy.

1:12:23 Caller I'm sorry, I'm so like nervous right now, and I'm shaking.

1:12:26 Drew All right. E.

1:12:27 Caller E, okay.

1:12:29 Adam And you better get the L part first.

1:12:31 Caller Okay.

1:12:32 Drew You got the last part, L-A-S?

1:12:35 Caller Yeah.

1:12:35 Adam I thought it was L, all right.

1:12:37 Drew E-N-E-N. C-I-N-A-S.

1:12:48 Caller A-B-C-D-E-N-G.

1:12:51 Drew And you got the CASA de Las Amigas too? I hope so.

1:12:54 Adam What, what, what, by the way, what part of Mexico are we in?

1:12:58 Caller What's going on?

1:13:00 Adam You wonder why, but here's the whole thing about, you know, Los Angeles. Well, other than the name Los Angeles is our whole thing is like, we got to tighten up these borders. We don't need to coming here to CASA de Amigos or Los Encinas or taking Sepulveda over to Los Feliz over here and like, whoa, whoa, there's nothing that's not, doesn't have a Spanish surname on it here. There's nothing. Why don't you guys just, I'll tell you what, pile into the El Camino and head into Los Angeles and stop over at Los Encinas, which is in Pasadena, which is right off of Los Robles.

1:13:42 Drew On the San Gabriel Mountain.

1:13:43 Adam And the San Gabriel Mountains. Oh, really?

1:13:46 Drew Yeah. Yeah, but you go to the other parts of the country and it's, it's Quinnipiac and Suscant, you know, all these Indian names.

1:13:52 Adam All right. But at least we're not trying to keep them out. We just slaughtered them.

1:13:56 Drew Oh, my. And left the names behind.

1:13:58 Adam Well, I'm just saying we're trying to present, we're trying to present a less attractive target to our south of the border friends over here.

1:14:10 Drew Yeah, I see what you mean. Yes, yes.

1:14:12 Adam I mean, imagine. And by the way, all these names, we don't know what they mean. But in Spanish, they translate into, you know, never setting sun and endless river and stuff like that. What if you were living? What if you were just living in a place in Mexico is where you want to go and in places, everything was called like, oh, Big Happyburg and Fun Jumbo Time and Come On Down, Whitey and stuff like, it'd be like, what?

1:14:39 Drew I need to go there.

1:14:40 Adam Well, I got to go, I got to go to Jumbo Funland, right?

1:14:44 Drew It'd be Boopville for you.

1:14:45 Adam No, right.

1:14:47 Guest Boopville.

1:14:48 Adam Yeah, I mean, I think, think of the names. I don't even, you know, I don't live in Los, I mean, just City of Angels. Yeah. Sounds pretty good.

1:14:55 Guest Yeah.

1:14:55 Adam Right?

1:14:56 Guest Yeah. All right, all right.

1:14:58 Adam I'm just saying, we got to swap the names up. We would make things a little less attractive.

1:15:03 Guest That's all.

1:15:04 Adam And, all right, you ready?

1:15:06 Guest Yeah.

1:15:07 Adam Also, right across the border from Tijuana is like El Cajon. You know, and the other one is right. There's another Spanish city that's right. It's like, is there, names wise, there's no division between Mexico and Los Angeles, or San Diego.

1:15:27 Drew Name wise, you drive, you can't, how do you tell the difference with name or otherwise?

1:15:33 Adam Yeah, yeah, it's like, okay, leave Tijuana, go into El Cajon, that leads you into San Diego, and you just stay on the 405 along Santa Monica mountains there, and you just hit, you go down to Sepulveda, and that takes you to Los Encinas.

1:15:50 Guest All right, there you go. There you go.

1:15:52 Adam Taco Bell's really about the closest name we have.

1:15:56 Drew To something English.

1:15:56 Adam It's got the word Bell in it, yeah. All right, Lindsey.

1:16:02 Guest Hey, what's up?

1:16:03 Adam Hey, y'all.

1:16:04 Caller I almost fell asleep there.

1:16:05 Adam Guess where Lindsey's calling from?

1:16:07 Guest Santa Barbara, California.

1:16:08 Drew Minneapolis. No, Santa Barbara.

1:16:10 Guest Santa Barbara.

1:16:11 Guest Hello, darlings, how are you doing this evening?

1:16:14 Adam All right, baby, now relax. What's up?

1:16:16 Caller Sorry, what up?

1:16:18 Guest Okay, I have a question here. All right, now, this is a little complicated, so you guys gotta listen up. I am the head of a 12-step program, okay? I'm training to be an alcohol and drug counselor. I'm also a member of a 12-step program, which is pretty much the same as my own 12-step program. Now, I had a spiritual awakening as a result of my own 12 steps, and my boyfriend broke up with me, okay? That's because I've decided to live my life in a different way, sexually speaking, and he's used to the kinky cop-out-fit-nurse-or-uniform kind of gal. So, I'm explaining to him, look, I'm not even saying I believe in God. I believe in energy. I believe in my personal chi, and I don't have a sex drive right now, okay? And he says, you are psycho. Now, here's the little twist to it. This spiritual awakening, I feel, is a gift from energy, because I was in the hospital during this time, when I had the spiritual awakening, and I thought I would give this.

1:17:27 Drew Uh-oh.

1:17:28 Guest And so I had a little manic episode there.

1:17:29 Drew Yeah, you're manic, you're bipolar, so.

1:17:32 Caller Well, yeah, I know.

1:17:33 Guest How dare you? I'm in dual diagnosis right now, so I mean, I'm not in it, I'm learning about it.

1:17:38 Drew Right, right.

1:17:38 Guest So anyway, I'm not manic anymore, okay?

1:17:42 Drew You're a little hypomanic there. Are you taking your medicines?

1:17:44 Guest Yeah.

1:17:44 Guest Oh, absolutely. I'm on Xypraxa right now.

1:17:46 Guest All right, all right.

1:17:47 Guest Okay. Just listen up and try to be open-minded about this. The spiritual awakening.

1:17:53 Adam Hold on. Are you allowed to have spiritual breakthroughs when you're on Xypraxa?

1:18:00 Drew Yeah, yeah, you can. You can't think you're Jesus because that means you're not taking enough medicine, but you can have a spiritual breakthrough. If by spiritual, does this mean just connection with something greater than yourself? That's all. Just a sense of purpose.

1:18:13 Guest Alright. Okay, so anyway, I've had my own little personal spiritual awakening, okay? I'm no longer manic. I'm not bipolar.

1:18:23 Drew Bipolar is something... Bipolar is something you are chronically, but you're not manic right now. Okay, got it.

1:18:30 Guest I'm not bipolar. I don't have a history of bipolar.

1:18:34 Drew Yeah, but you had a manic episode.

1:18:37 Guest Yes, that's correct.

1:18:38 Drew That means you're bipolar.

1:18:40 Guest Really? Is that because of the Prednisone?

1:18:42 Drew Oh, you had it because of Prednisone?

1:18:44 Guest I have lupus, so I was on Prednisone for a couple of weeks. And you made you manic? I don't think I'm Jesus, though, and I don't think I'm anything. I just have my own personal self-help program, which needs to keep anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films. I, my boyfriend, is an Atheist anarchist, and I am an ex-Atheist cultural Jew, now Lindsay Bob Show at the top of my own 12-step program.

1:19:15 Drew All right, here's the deal. Here's the deal.

1:19:17 Adam All right, hold on. First off, you are so lucky I'm looking at a Playboy right now and I'm paying attention to your rambling ass.

1:19:24 Drew Yeah, you are a little pressured and a little hypomanic right now. Whether it's medication-induced or otherwise, you need to look into that. That's why you're taking the Xyprexa. If you weren't mannaky, you wouldn't be on the Xyprexa. So you got to have that managed carefully. Secondly, in recovery, people grow and they grow in lots of different ways. But if the other, significant other is not participating in a program of growth, you leave them behind and their relationship does not work. It's why relationships don't survive recovery typically. It's not about your spiritual awakening. It's about the fact that you're no longer his drug buddy. You're no longer in the kinky stuff that he likes. You're a different person. And if he's not willing to look at his stuff and grow along with you, the relationship naturally falls apart.

1:20:05 Adam I love these idiot anarchists. What the hell are they even talking about?

1:20:09 Drew And by the way, she really wants to stay with that guy. Of course, you've woken up and grown and looked at him and go, ah, ah, I don't want to have sex anymore. I don't like this guy anymore.

1:20:17 Guest Yeah. All right.

1:20:19 Adam And here's the whole thing. Spiritually speaking, before the age of 25, remember I gave that speech a few minutes ago. No one should listen to you. You should have no breakthroughs, no spirituality, just nothing. Just focus on getting a job and not getting drunk and falling off of something. That's what you need to focus on at 19. Don't get so wasted that you fall off of something. Yeah.

1:20:41 Guest All right. Let's talk to, I'm going for the longest on home.

1:20:47 Adam I'm trying to be fair tonight. Michelle?

1:20:50 Yeah.

1:20:51 Adam 27?

1:20:52 Yeah.

1:20:52 Adam What's up?

1:20:56 It's funny. My dad is going through the process of becoming my mom, I guess.

1:21:06 Caller Wow.

1:21:07 Caller Yeah. It's kind of screwed up.

1:21:09 It first appeared like a couple of years ago. Ironically, I found out about it about three days before my wedding, which was not fun.

1:21:17 Caller Wow.

1:21:18 Caller Yeah.

1:21:19 Drew Did he come as your dad, I hope, at least a little bit?

1:21:21 Yeah. And then at the time, he was going through a divorce from my step mom, who I'm so close to.

1:21:29 Drew Where's your biological mom?

1:21:31 I'm so close to her too.

1:21:34 Adam Well, you know my policy if my dad ever starts going down this road.

1:21:38 Yeah, I know.

1:21:38 Drew What are you going to do?

1:21:39 You said your policy a lot.

1:21:41 Drew I haven't heard it. What's your policy?

1:21:43 Guest You're going to kill him?

1:21:44 Caller Do you know my policy, Michelle?

1:21:46 Well, I guess I know your feelings. You've said a few times about if you're a man being a woman, you're crazy, which I agree with.

1:21:55 Caller Yeah.

1:21:55 Drew But what's your policy, though?

1:21:57 Adam Oh, thanks. That's why people are so horrible. About to say something. I know. I've heard, I've heard it. And it's like, well, what is it? Well, not your policy, but why can't people just shut up? Thank you. I will have a, I told my father, I'll have a drifter kill him.

1:22:16 Drew Right. Kill him. Hey, you know what that is, though? I think, I think it's, I was just trying to value my bottle. Ooh, nice. Yeah.

1:22:22 Adam It's going to be painful. I'm thinking about actually doing it anyway.

1:22:26 Drew That's your policy there too. But I was thinking about why I would say no, no, no to you and do that craziness too. It's, and I'm listening to what she just did too. It's a lapse of concentration, I think. People aren't, even if it's for a brief second, if they really don't listen, they'll do stupid stuff like that. Because they're on their own rhythm and they have to listen. It's hard to listen constantly. Even you and I, at least me, listen every night, you still have lapses.

1:22:49 Guest It's tough.

1:22:51 Adam Michelle?

1:22:51 Drew Yeah.

1:22:53 Adam Now, your dad, is he going to get the operation?

1:22:59 He says he is. He's going to the transgender support group meetings. The really freaky thing is he has like, well, I guess it's good in a way because my little sister thinks it's okay. But she's helping him out with his wigs and stuff.

1:23:20 Adam How old is she?

1:23:21 Fifteen.

1:23:24 Adam Oh, well, I know this. Well, first off, you're 27. You're out of the house.

1:23:30 Caller Oh, yeah. And he lives in another state. But we were really close when we were younger. And he hasn't even, he has not said anything to me about it personally. I find out everything through my sister and my stepmom.

1:23:44 Adam All right. Well, let's I think Drew and I are going to come down on the same side of the coin on this one, which is I believe it's selfish, ultimately. Obviously, he wants to become a woman. Obviously, this is something that's important to him. On the other hand, you have a couple of kids, maybe more, who you are thoroughly going to freak out. And you run the risk of severing the ties that you've created with those children.

1:24:13 Drew Before this goofy thing.

1:24:15 Adam Yeah, I went, well, I mean, look, we can't judge.

1:24:18 Drew Right, cannot judge.

1:24:21 Adam Obviously, to him, it's important. I mean, it's very important to him. But I also sort of believe, like, if you have a 15-year-old and it's been your life's dream to take a snowmobile up Mount Everest during the winter seasons, I don't think you should be able to do that. There's a good chance you're gonna die. It's being selfish. And you could say, yeah, but this is what I want to do. This is my dream. Well, you shouldn't have crapped out the kids.

1:24:50 Drew It's a little bit weird, though, because our sexual drives are so powerful and they color everything, and you'd be like you, Adam, again, taking the boobs away and going, sorry, you can't have those because you had kids.

1:25:01 Adam Right. But he has made it, you know, 50 years without having, you know, having a penis, you know.

1:25:08 Drew Right, right.

1:25:09 Adam I think he could make it another 25 until he takes a nice nap forever. The thing is, Michelle, I'm just taking you off the hook, which is he's entitled to do what he wants and you're entitled to do what you want.

1:25:26 Drew Thank God he didn't do it when you were five or something.

1:25:28 Caller I guess my question was really just if he even is really serious, because he's also a recovering alcoholic that's not very sane and he's got bipolar and all kinds of other things.

1:25:39 Drew Will he say, undoubtedly, he was a trauma survivor?

1:25:41 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:25:44 Caller You don't have the hours to listen to it all, but, yeah. I mean, will they even, would the doctors even go through with something like that?

1:25:51 Drew Oh, yes.

1:25:52 Caller Oh, yes.

1:25:53 Drew Those are the people that have this.

1:25:54 Caller Well, yeah.

1:25:56 Adam You just think it's the world's most sanest people that get their joints lopped off?

1:26:01 Drew But the question is, is there any alternative treatments to sort of make these people feel like they're whole without this? That's the real weird part.

1:26:09 Caller I'm just afraid that he still won't feel whole, and then he'll...

1:26:13 Drew Well, they claim, just like the guy that got his penis enlarged, I was in these penis enlargement surgeries yesterday, they claim that they feel great now. You still see a lot of stuff going, a lot of problems. Remember, Adam, we had that female to male in the studio the other day?

1:26:30 Adam Yeah, the other month, yeah, yeah.

1:26:32 Drew And she was obviously so disturbed, but still focused on...

1:26:38 Adam Look, I never met a more angry person than whatever the hell it called itself that was in my studio, and I'm not... I feel bad beating up on someone who's not here, but oh my God, what an a-hole. Yeah. This person was... I've never hated someone more. So angry, it was palpable, it was uncomfortable. I had to ask him or it a few times, what are you angry about? What's your beef? I'm asking you a question. Yeah. Horrible, angry person. Obviously, the... Here's the thing. People treat this gender reassignment like they have some sort of pinched... They have like a bad disc, like they have some like a herniated disc in their back, and all of a sudden they're going to get this cortisone shot, and after years of pain, after years of anguish and sleepless nights, all of a sudden, pow! Oh my God, the pain has gone away, and I'm just, oh, now I'm playing hoop, I'm doing my thing, I'm running, I'm with my kids again. No way, you're a tortured nut job with your penis, and soon you'll be a tortured nut job without your penis. That's all. This person that came into the studio was, boy, if this was it after the surgery, I would like to see her or it or him before the surgery.

1:28:01 Drew Right, right.

1:28:02 Adam I couldn't picture someone more angry and more uncomfortable in their own skin. Could you?

1:28:07 Drew No, uh-uh.

1:28:08 Adam Like, Drew, can you imagine spending 20 minutes with that person?

1:28:12 Guest No, no, it was awesome.

1:28:13 Caller How brutal?

1:28:15 Adam I think born again, though.

1:28:16 Drew Yeah.

1:28:18 Adam Did have Jesus.

1:28:19 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:28:20 Adam So obviously he's got a plan for him, right?

1:28:23 Drew Well, a personal relationship, too.

1:28:25 Guest Well, he's got a plan for all of us.

1:28:27 Drew Well, each of us.

1:28:28 Adam Yeah, his plan is to torture this guy, have him a woman inside his body so he can get his penis cut off. And his plan for me is to make fun of him. I think, I think. That's kind of how it played out. And he does have a plan. Well, it's hard to argue with it.

1:28:43 Drew Right. It's the proof is in the pudding.

1:28:45 Adam That's right.

1:28:46 Guest All right.

1:28:47 Adam We'll take a little break.

1:28:49 Guest We'll be right back after this.

1:29:09 Caller Yeah, LoveLine, that's what I'm talking about.

1:29:14 Adam I'm Adam, that's the Drew Sker. He's over in Minneapolis.

1:29:19 Guest He'll be in the studio tomorrow night.

1:29:23 Adam Gotta give a quick plug to Saw DVD. Scary, scary, scary stuff. It's got Danny Glover and Carrie Elwes in it, and it is out February 15th. That is Tuesday, day after Valentine's Day. Let me tell you this, Drew. Every puzzle has its pieces. Scary, yes?

1:29:50 Drew Very scary.

1:29:51 Adam That's Saw. And here's the thing. You call in, you're over 18 or 18 plus. We'll give you a DVD and a chance to qualify to head to England to go to a big rock festival. It's called Bloodstock, but that just sounds retarded. So I'm just going to call it a big rock. Here's the whole thing. It's Derbyshire, England. And you get to go see Bloodstock. My take is we're sending you to England. You know what I mean?

1:30:18 Drew That's good enough.

1:30:19 Adam Like my whole thing would be like, what can I win? Well, you can go to England. Wow, that's cool. Or as opposed to what can I win? We're sending you to Derbyshire to Bloodstock. I'm cool. I'll just take the DVD.

1:30:36 Drew Yeah.

1:30:36 Adam Yeah, that's fine.

1:30:38 Drew Yeah.

1:30:38 Adam Okay.

1:30:39 Drew Yeah.

1:30:39 Adam So that's where you'll possibly be going. And we'll draw that one lucky name out of some imaginary hopper at some point. Yes, Drew?

1:30:47 Drew Yes, Adam.

1:30:48 Guest All right. Let's talk to Ashley 21.

1:30:53 Adam Ashley.

1:30:54 Caller Hello.

1:30:55 Adam What's up?

1:30:56 Caller Hi. I was calling, had a hysterectomy about six months ago. And before then, my, my fracture, I was okay and everything was fine.

1:31:05 Drew Hold on. Hold on. Why'd you have a hysterectomy?

1:31:07 Caller I had cervical cancer.

1:31:09 Drew Oh my goodness.

1:31:10 Caller Awesome. 21. Wow.

1:31:12 Drew Do you have radiation too or?

1:31:14 Caller No, no, I just had mainly uterine cancer. I still have my ovaries and I still have my fallopian tubes and I had my uterus removed.

1:31:23 Caller Wow.

1:31:24 Drew Uterine cancer, how rare. For your age, anyway.

1:31:27 Caller It runs in the family.

1:31:28 Drew Oh my goodness. Uterine cancer runs in the family. Okay.

1:31:32 Adam Dad and brother both had it.

1:31:34 Drew Well, the dad that…

1:31:35 Adam Grandfather died.

1:31:37 Drew Well, the brother that had a woman caught inside him, of course.

1:31:40 That would be awesome.

1:31:42 Caller Yeah. That's really…

1:31:43 Adam That would be my criteria. Look, if there's a woman inside you, then we're going to… If we can perform a hysterectomy on it, we will then cut your penis off. Right.

1:31:52 Drew There you go. All right. All right. So, what's the question? Has your sex drive changed after the hysterectomy?

1:31:57 Caller It's gone.

1:31:59 Drew Is there… Are you on any kind of hormones now?

1:32:02 Caller No, because I still have my ovaries.

1:32:04 Drew Right. I understand. And were you… Are you having any pain with…

1:32:07 Adam What would they put you? Would they put you on that premarin if they took your ovaries?

1:32:11 Drew Sometimes.

1:32:12 Caller They'd have to try around with it, but put me on something, yes.

1:32:14 Drew Right. They put you on some sort of… Basically, to try to recreate what your body is no longer making.

1:32:20 Caller Yeah.

1:32:20 Drew But are you having pain with intercourse?

1:32:24 Caller No.

1:32:25 Caller Just not really. There used to be like a want or kind of…

1:32:30 Drew Or a drive.

1:32:30 Caller excitement, but now it's just gone.

1:32:33 Drew Yeah.

1:32:34 Adam Maybe the cancer put a wet blanket on it.

1:32:36 Drew Right. Are you having some sort of aversion because of all that? Are you traumatized by it?

1:32:41 Caller You know, I had a pretty rough childhood in general, so I was pretty traumatized, but…

1:32:46 Guest What did you have? What did you have?

1:32:48 Caller Oh, I had the raping uncle, the abusive stepfather, the collective mother.

1:32:55 Drew Okay. But maybe the trauma…

1:32:58 Guest Yeah.

1:32:58 Drew Except for that. Maybe this has rekindled some of that old trauma stuff, having been through this big surgery and having a life-threatening experience. You know, the common experience of trauma is the experience of powerlessness, and I couldn't imagine anything that felt more powerless than having cancer.

1:33:13 Adam That's the stuff you got to look into. And by the way, you're telling me there's no God?

1:33:18 Drew Yeah, well, he has a plan.

1:33:20 Adam Yeah, he's got a plan. Here's my plan for Ashley. We'll let her uncle F her during her childhood, and then when she hits her late teens, we'll give her uterine cancer. Fantastic. Hey, hey, whoa, don't argue with the plan.

1:33:35 Drew Women do sometimes complain, though, after a hysterectomy, when the ovaries remain, that they still have a funny change in the sex drive, and there's debate about why that might be.

1:33:42 Adam All right, Ashley, you've been through a lifetime of trauma. Well, actually, many lifetimes of trauma, because obviously there's many people that aren't abused, although they never called this show, in your short 21 years. So therapy, therapy, therapy, baby.

1:34:00 Drew Yeah, I look at that.

1:34:00 Caller So I'm in monthly therapy.

1:34:03 Caller I go every other week.

1:34:05 Adam Every other week? You should be going twice a week.

1:34:07 Caller Right.

1:34:09 Caller I go regularly and I will continue to do so for a very long time.

1:34:12 Drew Good, good.

1:34:13 Adam Feel free to hate your family.

1:34:15 Drew You should talk to the endocrinologist or gynecologist about this. Sometimes there can be changes in circulating sex, hormone-binding, globulin, other very subtle changes that can change things like the level of free-circulating testosterone, which is something that's very powerfully affecting sex-driving women. So look into that.

1:34:30 Adam All right, super fast. Cassandra.

1:34:32 Guest Hi, how are you?

1:34:33 Adam You want to know what religion we are?

1:34:35 Guest What?

1:34:37 Adam You want to know what religion Drew is and I am?

1:34:39 Guest Yeah.

1:34:40 Adam I'm an atheist. Drew is probably an atheist. He just doesn't have the way of us to admit it. So go ahead.

1:34:45 Drew I'm not as vehemently an atheist as Adam is.

1:34:48 Adam Right.

1:34:49 Drew I'm a Mormon. I'm not interested in organized religion.

1:34:52 Adam Right. All right. You don't really have anything. Half Jew, but that's nothing, right? You and Drew's got nothing. All right. We'll take ourselves a quick break. Be right back after this. All right, guys.

1:35:04 Caller Here's the deal. Look in the hookup. Call the Dateline. Stick a waste in time with the wrong person. Call the Dateline. One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline. 1-877-889. If you need help. Call Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:35:29 Adam Well, that's the show, everybody. Big show, big show playing tomorrow night. Dr. Drew, our guest tomorrow night. Nice.

1:35:37 Guest Studio, it's gonna be awesome.

1:35:39 Drew Fantastic.

1:35:40 Adam Until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:35:46 Caller This has been Loveline. Loveline, the opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, February 13, 2005