Episode 1000677913453

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:21 Voiceover Hey, everybody. It is Loveline. The phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. And I know usually you are accustomed to Mr. Corolla opening the show, but I've just been informed that Mr. Corolla's car has broken down and he is stuck on the side of the freeway. He will be here any minute. And as fate would have it, Chris, there's also traffic on the freeway tonight, which I got stuck in. Oh, yeah. Not only will he have his problem.

1:44 What car?

1:45 Drew He has nine cars. What possible car could have broken down?

1:47 I don't know.

1:48 Drew Oh, my goodness. The Jag broke down. We haven't driven the damn thing in, like, 18 months. He has so many cars, he doesn't know which one to drive. Anyway, so he will be here shortly. But in the meantime, we will burn through some calls. And I will try to stay with stuff that's more directed towards me for a couple minutes, and he'll be running in here any second. This is Amy, who's 19. Hi, Amy.

2:09 Hi.

2:10 Drew What's going on?

2:12 Um, not too much.

2:15 Drew This is where you tell me the problem.

2:17 Yeah.

2:18 So, um, what are, like, signs of...

2:21 I know, like, signs of pregnancy, but, like, I, um, had sex with a guy about eight days ago, I guess.

2:28 Drew Right.

2:28 And, um, like, today, I thought I started my period, which made no sense to me, because it would have been a week early, because I start on the day. And, um, like, I bled, and I probably bled, like, a tablespoon, and then, like, just stopped. And one of my friends told me that that, like, could be a sign of pregnancy, didn't know, wasn't sure.

2:49 Drew Yeah, more significantly, it can be a sign of a tubal pregnancy, that any belly, any abdominal pain and bleeding, when there could be a pregnancy, is a tubal pregnancy until proven otherwise.

3:00 Well, like, I haven't had any pain or anything.

3:02 Drew All right. Go get a pregnancy test. It's simple enough. And certainly at 14 days, it will be accurate. And why didn't you take the morning after pill? Why didn't you use protection? Are you trying to get pregnant?

3:12 No.

3:12 Like, I'm on a pill.

3:14 Drew All right. So, listen, on the... What pill are you taking?

3:17 Um, or so tricycline.

3:20 Drew And you've been taking it on the same time every day?

3:22 Yeah.

3:22 Well, for the most part.

3:23 I try to...

3:24 Drew For the most part. What's the worst you've been off?

3:27 Um, maybe a few hours.

3:28 Drew All right. You're not pregnant. I almost guarantee it. It's very common for there to be mid-cycle bleeding when you're on the pill. You know, you get a little bit of this and that little bleeding or spotting during the menstrual period when you're not supposed to get it. And sex can kind of stimulate that thing. So that's probably why you got it. OK, I'm going to take a stab at this name.

3:46 Yes.

3:47 Drew Did I pronounce that right?

3:48 It's Jed Zia.

3:49 Drew Jed Zia?

3:50 Yes. I had trouble with the call screener.

3:53 Drew No doubt. What kind of name is that?

3:56 It's my alter ego, because I don't I believe in complete anonymity.

4:00 Hey, Drew, I would be that that phone screener she's talking about.

4:02 And you have her spell it for you right now.

4:04 Drew OK, spell it out. Ten minutes. Is Anderson's our screener tonight because Brian had to go pick up Adam on the freeway. Go ahead, spell it.

4:10 JADZIA.

4:15 Drew And is that some kind of Clive Barker book or something? Where did you get that?

4:21 It's a sci-fi thing.

4:22 Drew Clive Barker?

4:24 No.

4:24 Drew OK.

4:24 Star Trek.

4:25 Drew All right, what's going on?

4:26 Adam Calling all nerds.

4:27 Drew Dude.

4:28 Shut up.

4:29 Drew What's going on?

4:30 I was curious to see you about a program called Baby Think It Over.

4:34 Drew No, tell me about it.

4:36 It's a program that's going through high schools. They do it in Canada, and on well, at least in Ontario that I know about. And it's a simulated baby and it cries, it wakes you up.

4:46 Drew You have to take it home with you and your boyfriend have to be its mom and dad for a while.

4:51 Yeah.

4:52 Drew And it pees and poos on schedule and stuff, right?

4:55 Yeah.

4:56 Drew Good times. Yeah, I know I have heard about that. And it's to try to make a point, obviously, about how forget, forget even the emotional and the sort of, let's call it spiritual obligation of a child, just the pure work involved in feeding and pooing and cleaning.

5:13 Oh, yes.

5:13 Drew It's phenomenal.

5:14 Yeah.

5:14 Do you do it?

5:15 I did it for a while and I babysit a lot of the ones that come through now.

5:20 Drew Why'd you do it?

5:21 Why? I didn't, I know I'm pregnant, oh. Why did I, why did I take the baby thing over to program? Yeah. I thought it would be interesting.

5:27 Drew Not because you're thinking about having a baby, just, just want to carry a baby doll around the craps?

5:32 No, actually, it was just for pure curiosity. You see how sophisticated it was.

5:37 Drew And they, and they let you do it for that reason? I feel like a costly thing to let people do just for curiosity.

5:42 Hey, it was part of my course.

5:44 Drew Your course.

5:44 Part of my course.

5:45 Drew What are you studying?

5:47 I was, this was when I was in high school.

5:50 Drew Yeah.

5:51 I don't do this now. But, because I have friends who do. But this is when I was in high school and they let me do it as part of the curriculum.

5:59 Drew Take a baby home.

6:00 Yeah.

6:02 Drew All right.

6:03 Because I live in a residential school, it's kind of, it wasn't too far from the actual school.

6:08 Drew Residential school, meaning a place for a therapeutic school where people need help?

6:11 No, I am blind.

6:13 Drew Oh, not even visually challenged, but actually blind.

6:17 No, I am totally blind. I can't see anything. I have prosthetic eyes.

6:21 Drew Whoa. What happened?

6:23 I've been blind from birth. I think my mother was taking some pills to alleviate or eliminate miscarriages. And the side effect was blindness.

6:33 Drew Yeah, but you have prosthetic eyes.

6:35 Yeah.

6:36 Drew Why did they do that?

6:37 So that my face would develop properly.

6:40 Drew They were afraid that the eyes would become atrophic.

6:42 Wow.

6:42 Because my eyes, I have baby eyes that didn't grow.

6:45 Right, right, right.

6:46 And so actually I have prosthetics and I have baby eyes.

6:49 Drew Incredible. What do you plan to do in life?

6:53 What do I plan to do? I am going to go to university and get a degree in French.

7:00 Drew Oh my gosh.

7:00 And I think I'm gonna teach.

7:02 Drew Fantastic. That's huge. Well, good luck. And...

7:06 I also think that your show is awesome. And I think it's really, it's quite a privilege and an honor for me to be on the show because I'm from Canada and it's a state show thing.

7:15 Drew Oh, well, there's some good things down here, you know.

7:18 But I think you do great and I wish you would update your website.

7:22 Drew You know what? That's not my website anymore. The drdrew.com?

7:27 Yeah.

7:27 Drew Yeah, that's not my website anymore. At least three different people have owned that since I did and I can't get at it. They won't let me change anything. I'd be happy to. And we're getting to the point where people, as soon as they know you have a website, they assume that you run it or it's yours and it's different than that, unfortunately. All right, this is now Nicola 22. What's going on? Wait, wait, wait. Oh, I can't. No, I got it. Nicola 22. Nicola?

7:55 Yeah?

7:56 Drew What's going on? You're on the air.

7:58 Oh, I just keep getting to these really abusive relationships, like mentally abusive relationships, and then I have a really hard time getting out of them.

8:07 Drew Great.

8:08 And I don't...

8:09 Drew What was your dad like? What was your dad like?

8:13 Well, he was my stepdad, and he was really good. He's been around since I was...

8:18 Drew What was your biological dad like?

8:20 I never met him. He left before I remember.

8:24 Drew How old were you when he left?

8:27 Well, originally when my mom told me, she said it was before I was born, but then I found out recently that he would come and visit until I was like maybe a year.

8:36 Drew And was it horrible? Was it violent? Was there problems between them?

8:41 No, he just, he was a lot younger than her and he came from like a really patriarchal family where they thought the women should like, you know, like stay at home and the men were allowed to cheat.

8:54 Drew Oh, it's not that way anymore? I thought that's what it was. Okay, but tell me about the last relationship. What was that like? What was that guy like? How did it end?

9:02 He was schizophrenic and bipolar.

9:04 Drew How about the guy before? Okay, say no more. How about the guy before that?

9:08 He was just really self-absorbed and...

9:12 Drew Do you tend to pick addicts, too?

9:16 Yeah, the first guy liked to drink a lot in the last guy.

9:20 Drew Was your mom sick or your dad sick or alcoholic? Were you a caretaker for a long time?

9:25 No, no. My mom liked to drink when I was younger, but never like all the time or during the day. She was very social and she would go to her friends and throw parties and she would drink there, but it was never around me a lot. It wasn't during the day.

9:42 Drew And now these guys that you keep getting involved with, you're super attracted to them, right?

9:47 Well, at first I'm not, and then they fall in love with me really quickly, and I'm pretty good in the beginning of it.

9:53 Drew What about guys you are attracted to? Why don't you go with some guys that you actually like?

9:58 I do. I just seem to get long-term with the ones, I seem to get attached to the ones who are not good for me. Like I get over the ones who are nice and sweet really quickly.

10:11 Drew Okay, I'm thinking about it, but I can't remember this guy's name. I'm trying to remember a book. Have you done any reading about co-dependency?

10:16 No, I was seeing a therapist for a while when I got out of my last relationship, but then I kept getting back together with him and I don't know. It didn't seem to get me anywhere really.

10:31 Drew How many years did you stay with that therapist?

10:34 Not even a year.

10:35 Drew All right, well, A, that's not going to do much. And were you doing what he or she asked you to do?

10:42 Yeah.

10:43 Drew You were?

10:44 Yeah, like keeping, it wasn't like a therapist. It was one of the people who are like more emotionally like, oh, come talk to me. And I don't know the different terms for all the different.

10:55 Drew All right. The bottom line is either you're going to change these things and you're going to choose different kinds of relationships and you are going to sort of stand up for yourself and actually go for guys that you are attracted to rather than waiting for guys that idealize you, you're going to actually go and present yourself and take a risk and go for somebody that you're actually attracted to or you're going to have to get treatment because you're stuck in a cycle where you're consistently having the same pattern where you get yourself involved in these co-dependent relationships where you're a co-caretaker with sick people and you need that and you're probably attracted to that too more than you even know and they idealize you, they need you and they lock you in in a way that you can't get out and either you're going to change that or you're going to have to get treatment for that.

11:36 Caller And a couple of weeks ago.

11:38 Caller Sorry, go on.

11:39 Drew And your mom probably was an alcoholic and one of the things you can do that's free is to go to a co-dependency recovery program and get a sponsor and start working the steps there. You will find when you...

11:48 Caller That's basically what I wanted to ask you about was ways to really start working because I think that that's the main problem is co-dependency and ways to really start working on how to get away from co-dependency.

11:58 Drew Yeah, I think that's a good way of looking at this. Again, therapy would be probably an excellent way as well, but you've already sort of failed in adult therapy and you've started to minimize what therapy can do for you. Co-dependency, you go to like say, Al-Anon, plain old Al-Anon and you get in there and you talk about how people who have been ill that you've been in co-dependent relationships with affect you in your life. You pick somebody, you raise your hand and say, I need a sponsor and you work the steps with that person. If you do not work the steps, this whole process you're in will never change. The fact is that you have to change internally so you fit differently with the people that you're involved with in relationships. Interestingly, the things that cause us attraction in adulthood, we've said this many times in the show, usually were some serious trauma in childhood. Terror, strangely enough, gets converted into attraction. We don't know why that happens, but things that were disturbing and distressing and potentially terrorizing in childhood, that sets up some wiring that when you hit puberty and get into young adulthood, suddenly that becomes the kind of person you're severely attracted to, intensely attracted to in fact. People have theorized it's some sort of attempt to make good the traumas of the past. I think more simplistically, I just look at it as if something gets wired in, it turns into attraction and you go for that. Now, you can either, in her case, it was a little more confusing this, but in more just general sense, what you do is don't go for people you're super attracted to, go for people you're less attracted to, but stay in the relationship, don't sabotage it, don't look for excitement all the time. In her case, just to not look for people that idealize her and need her, because that's how she feels good in an intimate relationship, actually present herself to somebody for a real relationship where there's reciprocity. Here is Tristan, 20. Yeah, by reciprocity, hang on Tristan. By reciprocity, I mean a true give and take, where somebody could say, here's what I need, and somebody gives that in return, and then you switch roles and vice versa. You sort of respect each other's needs and boundaries. What's going on there?

13:51 Caller Hi.

13:52 Drew Hey.

13:52 Caller Hi. Hi.

13:53 Drew Hi. Hi.

13:55 Caller Hi.

13:55 Drew Hi.

13:57 Caller Hi.

13:58 Caller Hi. How's it going?

13:59 Drew Good.

14:00 Good.

14:01 Caller Good.

14:02 Drew Good.

14:04 Caller Good.

14:04 Caller All right.

14:05 Caller All right.

14:06 Caller Yes.

14:08 Caller Okay. Can I ask you my question?

14:09 Drew Please. Please do.

14:10 Caller Okay.

14:11 Caller All right. All right. I'm from Illinois.

14:15 Caller I'm not pregnant, but just curious.

14:19 Caller Can you, like, since you really can't have sexual intercourse when you're pregnant.

14:26 Drew Why not?

14:27 Caller Right? Well, I mean, why can't you?

14:29 Caller It's not awkward?

14:31 Drew When you're in the latter stages, but even then, women tend to be very highly aroused late in pregnancy, so most people will have sex well into the pregnancy.

14:41 Caller Oh.

14:42 Caller Well, okay.

14:43 Caller I was just wondering.

14:45 Caller I don't know.

14:45 Caller I heard somewhere that the male fluid is good for like childbirth or something like it reduces complications or something.

14:56 Caller Is that true?

14:58 Drew I don't know what you're talking about.

14:59 Caller You have no idea. What are you talking about?

15:01 Drew What?

15:01 Caller What am I? What? You haven't heard that? How come I read that?

15:08 Drew I swear to God.

15:10 Caller I'm just wondering if that's true.

15:13 Drew Where do you have to receive this load in order for it to work its magic?

15:18 Caller Orally.

15:20 Drew So an oral dose of a mucopolysaccharide with a bunch of sperm cells in it is somehow going to change your delivery?

15:28 Caller No, not change it, but reduce complications.

15:32 Caller No, no way.

15:33 Drew No way. I'd like to see that literature. And who the hell did that study, by the way? I have no idea. This has to be evidence-based science before somebody tells you something is or is not the right way to approach things. And I want to know who collected that data and under what circumstances.

15:52 Caller I just read that right now in Cosmopolitan.

15:56 Drew Right now?

15:57 Caller Right now.

15:58 Drew God, Cosmo, that is just unbelievable. Who wrote the article?

16:02 Caller I don't know.

16:03 Caller I just closed it up in the studio, because I'm like, what is that?

16:06 Caller So I had to call and be like, Right.

16:08 Drew I think people need to sort of know how to use media. You know what I mean? Yeah. You got to look at who wrote these articles, what their training is, what their goal is in having written the article, trying to sell your product, actually, your magazine, I mean, just take...

16:24 Caller Are you sure? It was probably a guy just wanting to get some, wrote it.

16:28 Drew Are you sure you didn't see this in Maxim? That makes perfect sense for me now, Tristan. Now you're thinking.

16:32 Caller More than likely.

16:34 Drew Now I don't know.

16:35 Caller I write that article, you know? I'd be like, hey, here's a plan, and then I'd write it, but...

16:40 Drew You're all, hmm, all woman there, Tristan, but listen, the deal is I'm open to everything. If somebody could show me the evidence, then I'm open to it, but boy, that evidence can have to be reproducible, as they say. This is Kevin, who's 24. Kevin?

16:58 Yeah, I've been going out with my girlfriend for over five years, and we used the pullout method most of the time, and she hasn't really gotten pregnant from that, so I was wondering what your take is on the whole pre-cum issue.

17:12 Drew What my whole take is? Yeah, my take is that you're a very lucky man, and next time you spin the wheel, you may not be so lucky.

17:20 So it's just, I think it's controllable, that's all, and most people say it's not.

17:26 Drew Well, pre-cum is definitely not controllable. That is by definition something that leaks out well before the ejaculation, well before, and it's something you're not aware of. It's basically something that sort of lubricates the urethra so everything else can flow through. It's like a pre, you know, something that greases the path, so to speak, and it's got a lot of sperm in it, unfortunately.

17:48 Right, but I thought you'd have to really shoot to get someone pregnant.

17:52 Drew Absolutely not. Why? The sperm are designed to travel up, get into the urethra, get into the mouth of the uterus, and continue traveling all the way up into the tubes. They have to go about 12 inches.

18:05 Right, but that's why I thought that the first shot is so...

18:08 Drew No, Kevin, they have to swim 12 inches. They swim. Your shot doesn't go anywhere except against the cervix, if that. What do you think? You think you shoot it all the way up into the ovaries? What are you talking about? I just thought LA. Unified School District was the one that was such a mess. I'm blown away. All right, I'm going to find something that I can answer. Brittany, 17.

18:35 Caller Yeah, about nine months ago, I was diagnosed with an ovarian cyst.

18:39 Drew Great. You're 17.

18:40 Caller I was wondering if it was going to affect me getting pregnant later.

18:43 Drew No way. Pretty much everybody has simple or what I call luteal cysts. That's something that basically every woman gets at some point or another.

18:50 Caller All right.

18:50 Drew Was it a big one? Was it a simple, simple cyst?

18:53 Caller They wanted to take it out.

18:55 Caller They wanted to take out my ovary too.

18:57 Drew Well, that's a little different than that. Why didn't that happen?

19:01 Caller My mom didn't want it to happen.

19:02 Caller She don't want me to have surgery.

19:03 Drew Well, the one thing they can do is put you on the breath control pill and just follow with ultrasounds. Did they do that?

19:08 Caller Yeah.

19:09 Drew Has it gone away?

19:10 Caller Yeah. It hasn't completely gone away, but it started itself.

19:13 Drew All right. If it goes away on the pill, then it's nothing you need to worry about. Some of them do need to be taken out because they can be more of a concern. But at your age, if it looks simple and it goes away on the pill, then you don't kind of worry about it, right?

19:25 All right.

19:26 Caller Thanks.

19:27 Drew How's the weather up there? She's in Anchorage.

19:29 Cold, then.

19:30 Drew How cold is it?

19:33 Caller Up north, it was about minus 50, but down...

19:35 Drew Oh, my God. Minus 50. Without the wind?

19:38 Caller No, that is with wind, but down here, we're about 17, zero in the night.

19:44 Caller It's great. Pretty chilly.

19:46 Drew All right.

19:46 Caller All right, bye.

19:47 Drew Have a nice dark winter, right? There were no sun all winter long there. This is Will, 17.

19:54 Caller Yeah.

19:55 Drew Hey, Will, what's going on?

19:56 Yeah, I've been dumped by like three girls because I said I was too nice.

20:01 Drew Yes.

20:02 And I wanna know, what is that? Do they want me to be mean?

20:06 Drew No. Tell me about the last relationship. How did you meet this girl? How did you set it up? What happened?

20:12 Yeah. Well, I met her at school.

20:16 Drew She's just somebody who was in your class at school, right?

20:18 Yeah.

20:19 Drew And then what happened?

20:20 And so then we just started talking and then she gave me her number and then, you know, we started calling her and started talking to her. Then we went out a few times and then she just said that I was too nice.

20:31 Drew Well, that could be that you're too clingy. In other words, you're not sort of confident enough, don't have your sort of s together. That could be she's just not into you. That's just a nice way of doing it. Give me the one before that, what happened with the relationship before that. By the way, you're 17. Things are supposed to kind of come together and fall apart again. That's sort of a way of saying, let's be friends. You're such a nice guy. Exactly what did she say this last one? You're too nice or you're such a nice guy, I can't handle it.

21:01 Caller She just said that you're too nice.

21:04 Drew Too nice. All right, give me the one before.

21:07 Caller Okay. It was my friend's cousin. And she asked me if I want to go out with her and the same thing.

21:21 Drew Where do you take them when you take them out?

21:24 Caller The mall, movies.

21:25 Drew And you set it all up, you decide where they're going to go?

21:29 Caller Yeah, usually.

21:30 Drew Do you ever give them that, I don't know, where do you want to go?

21:32 Caller Sometimes.

21:33 Drew All right, the moment those words come out of your mouth, you're toast.

21:37 Caller Okay. What is the self-confidence thing?

21:40 Drew It's just, it's hard at 17 to really have what young women are looking for. They're looking for, Adam actually has a very nice way of describing this. It's like somebody putting on a Spelunker's hat and go, follow me. And let's go. Now, of course, you're going to also meet a ton of people who are just not into you. That's just part of the whole dating experience. You're going to see people that, for whatever reason, you're going to be the them, they're not going to be you. You got to get used to things kind of coming together and falling apart. That's a good thing. That's a healthy thing. At least these people do not let you get involved with them before they kind of let you go. It might be clinginess. You might kind of cling to them. Then you might not be sort of the kind of confidence that oftentimes nice is not it. I'll tell you what. Nice is absolutely not it. Although many, many women go through a phase where they're kind of going for the unattainable, so to speak, bad boy, it really isn't about niceness. Every human being wants to be treated with respect and reasonably. It's just more that, you know, the fantasy of somebody who's powerful is different than the reality in a human relationship, and particularly young women need a good dose of that in order to sort of be interested. This is Bianca, 23.

22:52 Hi.

22:53 Caller I can't believe I'm on.

22:54 Caller Here you are.

22:56 Caller Okay. So I've been with my boyfriend since the end of middle school, and we have...

23:02 Drew Wow. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. You're 23, and you've been with your boyfriend since you were 13?

23:08 Caller I think I was 14 or 15.

23:10 Drew Oh, I'm way off.

23:11 At the end of eighth grade.

23:14 Drew Yeah, that's like 13, 14. It's like almost 10 years with the same guy. Is that your only boyfriend?

23:18 Eight and a half, yeah.

23:20 Drew You guys have not broken up and gone out with other people? Oh, my God.

23:24 Caller I mean, we both go to college.

23:27 Caller I graduated.

23:28 Caller I'm in professional school. But we just haven't had intercourse.

23:33 Caller We do stuff, but we just haven't had intercourse.

23:35 Caller And I feel like there's something wrong with me.

23:38 Drew You've never had it? You're fat.

23:40 Caller No, but I have extreme anxiety with it. And I mean, like, is there going to be something wrong later if we just wait or no, I don't think so.

23:51 Drew I'm surprised your boyfriend isn't sort of making an issue of this. I'm confused. Hold on. Whoa, whoa. Slow down now. What is it you guys? What is it you guys do?

24:00 Caller We we have oral sex and make each other happy.

24:07 Drew Make you have a happy oral sex relationship. Nice.

24:11 Caller I do everything except anal or intercourse.

24:16 Drew Why would you even bring anal? Why would you put anal on the menu? You guys haven't had general intercourse yet. Oh, done everything except way. I'm very, very frightened about intercourse, but anal is there on the on the spectrum. Anyway, so what is it that prevents you from having intercourse?

24:34 Caller I think it's a lot of things.

24:36 Caller I mean, we almost did about a year ago, and then I freaked out, and then...

24:43 Drew Were you sexually abused growing up or something?

24:45 Caller I was sexually assaulted before I met him.

24:50 Drew At what age?

24:52 Caller I guess 14. It was probably a year before I met him.

24:55 Drew And was there intercourse involved with that?

24:58 Caller No.

24:59 Drew And was there any sexual assault as a child?

25:02 Caller No.

25:03 Drew Nothing like that, huh?

25:04 Caller No.

25:06 Caller I mean, I think I have...

25:07 Caller Like, I'm diagnosed with anxiety, so I don't know if that might contribute to it.

25:12 Drew Yeah, I am anxiety too, but it doesn't sort of focus on that area. Why are you so freaked out about that? Are you afraid of getting...

25:20 Caller I guess one of the biggest fears is possibly getting pregnant.

25:23 Drew Okay, well, why don't you guys take care of that?

25:25 Caller Are you in school right now?

25:28 Drew Why don't you get on the pill and wear a condom and then there's no possibility of a pregnancy? How about that?

25:34 Caller I'm also afraid of the pain.

25:37 Drew I doubt there's gonna be any pain at 23, really it's not much.

25:39 Caller Really?

25:41 Caller Okay, is there talking to somebody at school and he was saying, cause he grew up with a bunch of Mormons and he was saying that there is a thing you can go to OVGIN and they can help, I guess...

25:55 Drew You're a Mormon? You don't really need that, listen. Listen, every woman on earth has a first time. Does everybody go have a surgery to prepare for that? Have you heard that it's overwhelmingly painful that women are being stricken with this wherever they may be? Come on, right? Yeah. Have you ever heard anybody say that it's the suffering of humanity brought to bear through the female for the first time they have intercourse? No, it's just uncomfortable a little bit. Sometimes, not even always. Thank you. Thank you, Anderson. Very good time. That's good. But listen, there's something much, much more going on here. I'm not quite sure what it is, and certainly your anxiety disorder has part of it. But it seems like you need to get over this. It sounds to me like it's getting weird. It's at the point where you've been in a relationship so long that it's like you needed to do this thing a long time ago, and you have it, and now it's gotten weird. And you're sort of trying to do it, and you can't, and he's freaked out about it. He's worried about hurting you and anxiety and pregnancy. Get on the pill, put on a condom, go ahead and do this gently and slowly. I'm sure this guy's waited, although God only knows this guy may just go insane after having waited this long. But hopefully he will be sensitive to your discomfort and kind of go slow with it, and it'll be fine. It will be fine. You're already having oral sex. You know, you know how weird it is to somebody my age when oral sex was something that came much later. That was almost considered like deviant, intimate thing that some people did occasionally to come so far ahead of.

27:21 That's the past now.

27:23 Drew I understand that. But why they why intercourse has to be so such a, you know, if they're having mutual oral sex, why intercourse has to be such a huge leap? They're already involved in these intermediate things, the intimate things.

27:34 Caller We are late for break and Adam's outside and he can't get in.

27:38 Drew Okay, great. We'll go get him. Bye. All right. We're going to go break now. It's 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. When we return, it will be Drew and Adam. Bye. We'll be right back. Please hold.

28:07 Adam There, buddy, I'm back. Yeah, car broke down. And let me tell you something about Los Angeles. When that car breaks down, it's never in a good neighborhood. It's never in a good neighborhood. It's always bad. Because the freeways, here's the thing about Los Angeles, the freeways usually run through the crappy neighborhoods for the most part.

28:25 Drew So they borrow the land.

28:27 Adam If you're on the freeway, and the thing breaks down. But let me tell you, I got a few things to say. First off, when you break down on the freeway, or on the highway, it is your job, because you're going 75 to get the F off the freeway. You know, the people that are actually stopped in the fast lane, or just stopped. The ones that are just stopped in the middle, they're like, well, you just, you just coasted for four miles, you didn't, no, nothing, not, no, no. Okay, once in a while, it's bumper to bumper, and you blow a head gasket, what are you going to do? Even in that case, put the car in first, and just keep working the starter until you can inch your way onto the shoulder. I can't, and by the way, there's nothing more dangerous than you sitting out there. Forget about us who are being held up and actually wishing you're dead, you may actually be dead. You're going to get clipped by a drunk driver in a semi.

29:17 Drew That's by the way, the guy that gets out of his car too. That's the same guy.

29:20 Adam I like that guy. Yeah. He's got to run across to get his coffee, he's got a travel mug in there full of sink. He's got to get that. So I'm in the fast lane and all of a sudden, notice a serious power decrease in the vehicle. So immediately, the fire up the hazard thing into neutral, blinkers on and going over, nursed it up the off ramp, made it down to a gas station down on Rampart and Hoover. So tough neighborhood. Of course, the guy behind at the gas station was Murph from the old 76 commercial. Red Hat, Gentleman, running out there. Oh, it was like one of those commercials. Mr. Corolla, what can we do you for? We're going to burn some midnight oil. You got to make that radio show. Offered me a cup of Post-Em while I waited. Or was it the Surly Foreigner?

30:14 Drew Let me think. I'm going to imagine the picture.

30:15 Adam By the way, you breaking down, like you getting your car to a gas station in Los Angeles, you think that it's olly olly oxen free, like you've hit your safe zone. Oh, no. No, the troubles just began. I mean, you're not on the freeway, you're not going to get clipped, you're not going to get the shiv put in you by a gang member anymore, but worse.

30:35 Drew Well, let me try to figure out. You got to deal with him. You got the steely-eyed guy, but then you start to interact, and it's, this can't stay here. This don't stay here. This is not a parking lot.

30:46 Adam Everything is all part of an elaborate ruse, so you can steal like a bottle of Pepsi or something. What is here? Listen, my car broke down. Well, you cannot leave. Was there a mechanic? No, he's not. It's like, first off, I know, yes, you should be very suspicious. People are taking their expensive cars in the middle of the night in their sweatpants. Thank Christ, is this close to where my slippers? This close. I want to know how late you went out close. You want to know how close I was to where my slippers to work tonight? I walked out of the house with one shoe on and one slipper on, knowing or hoping that the other shoe was in the car.

31:28 Drew In other words, whichever you found first is what you wore.

31:31 Adam I was in my driveway, one slipper on, and at first thought, thank Christ, I'm not wearing my slippers.

31:36 Drew It's like by the way he sees this.

31:38 Adam I don't know if I'm wearing underpants.

31:39 I've got to work that out.

31:40 Adam Anyway, the point is, there I am at the gas station now, I've nursed the car in and parked it somewhere out of the way. It's not in the filling station parts, off to the side. But, you know, so listen, I got to leave my car here. Is there a mechanic that this cannot stay there? You know, it's off the side as far as I can get. No, it needs, you know, now, the thing's probably got a blown head gasket or something. It's time to fire it up again so I can...

32:05 Drew Oh, you made you move it?

32:07 Adam Oh yeah.

32:07 Drew Oh God.

32:08 Adam Yeah, yeah, it's nice. That way I can hear the valves hitting the top of the pistons as they run into each other inside my engine. You know, it's like, you know, of course it's on the other side. Just park it over. I was like, okay, where's the mechanic? When's the mechanic? He's not here. He's here tomorrow. Okay.

32:24 All right.

32:24 Drew Same gas station. Doesn't mind having no Camino parked out there all day.

32:27 Adam Listen, here's the kicker. $10.

32:31 Caller Oh, he's going to charge you.

32:33 Adam Oh yeah, because again, part of a Lambert ruse. I want to do some...

32:36 Drew Oh, you're taking advantage of him.

32:37 Adam I want to hit the Ranchero Club across the street and be boozing all night with my Latin ladies over there. I can get out of the $4 parking fee behind the club and park it over here.

32:49 Drew How dare you?

32:49 Adam But I put a little smoke bomb under my hood and I push my car in. And by the way, this is my outfit I wear when I go out and see the ladies in sweatpants with the sweatshirt and the sweat stain.

33:01 Drew That guy's not the shop owner you're dealing with.

33:03 Adam Yes, he owns...

33:04 Drew So that $10 going right in his pocket.

33:06 Adam He owns the garage. Well, he owns the gas station, but the guy who does the garage part is not around.

33:13 Drew No way.

33:14 Adam So here's the deal. Now, I can get my $10 back if they work on my car. You know, but the notion that we've come, you know, here's what the gas station used to be. You need a ride, you need some gas, you want to borrow a can, you need a Crescent Ranch. Let me give you a hand. You want me to check that oil? Now, it's literally, your car breaks down at a gas station in the middle of the night.

33:39 Drew It's trouble.

33:39 Adam You tell the guy, once the soonest the mechanic can show up, he tells you, eight the next morning, you say, fine, he needs a deposit? The car's broken down.

33:49 Drew He's got the car.

33:50 Caller He's got the car.

33:53 Adam Oh, it is just, here's all I'm saying. All you a-holes, all of you actors, all of you writers, all of you models that are planning on coming here from, you know, Wisconsin and Iowa, North Dakota, be prepared for this because they don't tell you about that. It's, oh, oh, you guys got, oh, you beautiful weather, you got the bikini girls, you got the beach, you got the palm trees. How about getting aft every time you go to the gas station? How about every time you go to the market? Everything you do, you have to, every transaction is through four inches of lose sight, you have to talk into a sliding drawer. Think about that. I don't think you know what that is. I mean, when you're from whatever town you're from and your car park.

34:35 Drew Remember us in Wisconsin, we tried to get a, we were looking for a restroom. Oh. And then we went in there and they were like, hey, howdy, it's right over here. We were like, huh, oh, what?

34:43 Adam Come on in.

34:44 Drew No, we're gonna get jumped back there. Something wrong.

34:46 Adam Yeah, yeah, she actually, nice blonde chick behind the counter said I could make into her hand. She just said, sweetie, just do it right in my hand. That's okay.

34:55 Drew Whatever you need.

34:55 Adam Whatever you need.

34:56 Drew Yeah.

34:57 Adam Squeegeed my ass and we're on our way. No, you moved to Los Angeles. Be prepared. You will be getting the stink eye from everyone who owns a gas station.

35:06 Drew And a convenience store. They're all the same guys.

35:09 Adam Yeah. And it's all, here's the thing. You are guilty until proven innocent. You come in there.

35:15 Drew Well, no, no. It gets a little more elaborate than that because it's guilty until proven innocent. And then we got to take advantage of you. Right. Now you're an object of victimization. Once we know you're not guilty, we're going to victimize you.

35:25 Adam No, it cannot today. Oh yeah, my car. But what this car? It is breakdown. No, what? No. What are you doing? No, no, it says not. Listen, my car, it's broken. I don't think I can move it. Can I just leave it here over? No, the guy, he coming, no. It's like, oh, for the love of F, really? Couldn't just, not just one guy. There's not one goddamn guy in this city. It's just like, hey buddy, it's cool, yeah. Oh, that's, oh, yeah, that's a bitch. Yeah, you got a ride? Oh, like the part about them even saying like.

36:00 Drew Well, think about it, somebody did something that you think, okay, what is he up to?

36:02 Adam Yeah, he's gonna rape me.

36:02 Drew He's a bastard.

36:03 Adam He's gay, he's coming on to me. Yeah, is there a guy, by the way, in Los Angeles, that says something like, you want me to use the phone call cab or something like, forget about that part. It's just, no, cannot park.

36:14 Drew Well, think about this.

36:15 Adam Cannot.

36:16 Drew Where is a good place in LA to break down?

36:18 Adam Nowhere.

36:19 Drew Is there any place on your own home that you can park and break down that you're gonna be okay?

36:24 Adam Here's what I would imagine. I would imagine if you lived in like Beverly Hills, maybe the Palisades, probably Woodland Hills, Malibu, some expensive area, you use the same station over and over again and had a rapport with the pit bull that was in the glass chamber, maybe it would work out. But anything other than breaking down your local thing in your nice neighborhood, just down the street that you do all your business at, forget it. It's all just suspicion and knock and not to what? No, it's like, hey, hey, hey.

36:58 Drew But the thing is, if you parked, if you picked around the street, they're going to tow your car. I mean, because you can't park between hours of two and five, and they're going to take your car. You can't go to like a parking structure because they're going to let you in. Here, where do you?

37:12 Adam Please, please, all the people that work in the gas stations in the greater Los Angeles area, will you please go back to wherever armpit that you come from? Please, just go get on a plane, go to your mother Scrotumburg or whatever that smelly black hole of, I can only imagine the crap-filled nation you're from because everyone is just a complete a-hole. And please understand, it's not a goddamn Turkish bazaar. Not everything is wrangling, not everyone's looking for an angle. Everybody in Los Angeles that owns a gas station is a goddamn auctioneer in a Turkish bazaar. It's like I'm not buying, it's not white slavery ring. I'm not trying to buy cattle or a camel. I just want to drop my goddamn car off. It's not what this, what this guy, what this here? No, you cannot, it's like, really? We're just, it's business. Can we just, I'll give you some money, you fix the effing car? It's gotta be like, everyone's gotta be an angle. Yeah, can I leave my, and by the way, you know, if I said, listen, you ask them something, or look, I'm gonna need to drop off $100 and give you a BJ with that. No, cannot, no! Yeah, it's like, if it's your idea to do anything, forget about it. Listen, listen, Habib, I'm gonna need you to bang my wife while I go ahead and put a coat of carnauba wax on your van. Is that cool? No! Cannot, no! Cannot what?

38:45 Caller No!

38:46 Adam It's like, if they decide, if they figure it out, it's cool, if it's your idea, it's not gonna, you know, if I'd parked my car on the other side of the lot, he would have had me move it back to where it was. It's awesome. It's awesome. This is a great city. Come on down. Come on down. Pack up those crappy cars and come on down. Let the abuse begin. I'm telling you people, you don't know what you're in for and they never talk about it.

39:11 Drew No one ever does.

39:11 Adam Oh, we got the Rose Parade. We got Malibu Beach in the sun. Come on down and get yelled at by some foreigners. Come on down there, buddy. It's beautiful.

39:20 Drew All right.

39:20 Adam Let's take a break, Drew.

39:21 Drew Oh, no, I'll take a call.

39:22 Caller No, get nothing off.

39:23 Drew No, let's not take a call. No calls. No calls. No calls.

39:26 Caller Yes, we take calls.

39:28 Adam Yes, it's a call. Nikki?

39:31 Caller Yeah.

39:32 Adam You're 18?

39:33 Caller Yep.

39:34 Adam What's happening, baby doll?

39:37 Caller I've been masturbating since forever and I want to know if it's like desensitizing and if it's permanent.

39:44 Adam What have you been using?

39:46 Caller Showerhead.

39:48 Drew Well, no, no. I mean, that's-

39:49 Adam But it's the kind that's actually mounted up on the wall.

39:51 Drew Well, not the kind you can pull off?

39:53 Adam No, no. This is six and a half feet and it's actually hard plumbed. Right. I mean, she's getting up there.

39:58 Drew She got a whole lot of stuff.

40:00 Adam I mean, it's dangerous.

40:01 Caller No, man. It's the kind that comes off.

40:03 Adam Oh, okay. All right.

40:05 Caller And you feel what masturbating was.

40:07 Drew Yeah. You shouldn't be desensitized significantly by that. And it's basically a healthy thing for you to do. So it's fine.

40:14 Caller So then it's my boyfriend's fault if I don't get off when he's fingering me.

40:20 Drew Yes. Don't expect that to, you don't expect much out of males unless you show them exactly what you need.

40:25 Adam Yeah. The fingering thing is-

40:28 Drew That's a tall order.

40:29 Adam Very overrated.

40:29 Drew Yeah. So overrated, tall order for an 18-year-old male.

40:32 Adam Yeah. And-

40:33 Caller 18-year-old, no, he's not 18, my friend.

40:35 Drew Okay. Any male.

40:37 Adam Yeah. All right. And by the way, fingering, you break out the finger as an adult about as much as you break out the ovaltine. Like, it's-

40:46 Drew It ain't on the menu. And the post-um. Post-um's on the menu. About the same amount of time.

40:50 Adam Fingering, post-um, and ovaltine. It's like, it-

40:52 Drew They all go together.

40:52 Adam It's not on the menu anymore.

40:54 Drew Not alone, not individually.

40:56 Adam Just, it ain't on your adult menu.

40:57 Drew No.

40:58 Adam Am I right?

40:58 Drew Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

40:59 Adam Last time- Last time you did the fingering, so I sent me a Spaghetti Outs, right?

41:02 Drew We're- Yes.

41:04 Adam Okay.

41:05 Drew Yes. That's right. Remind me when we get back from the break to tell you, I went to Atlanta and went to a functional MRI lab. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I got in the MRI scanner and they showed what my brain does in response to pornography.

41:19 Adam Really?

41:20 Caller Wow.

41:21 Adam It's a fireworks show, huh?

41:23 Drew Comedy.

41:23 Adam Interesting.

41:24 Caller All right.

41:25 Adam MRI with Drew after this.

41:29 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

41:54 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Better late than never. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er. Drew was in Atlanta doing a little functional MRI work. What's the difference between a regular MRI and a functional MRI?

42:11 Drew Regular MRI just shows the anatomic structures. The functional MRI shows what they're doing, how active they are metabolically.

42:18 Adam Right, so now you did what with this experiment?

42:22 Drew We had a couple, and we put them in, and we were showing the difference between males and females in response to basically these pictures. You lie on the scanner, and they have a little mirror over your head, and they start showing you pictures. In this couple, we showed the wife and the husband, and then we show some male erotica, and then we show some neutral pictures, like of hamburgers and pizzas and bike racing and mountain scenes, and then pow, then you get into the pornography. And you can basically compare the brain activity and the regions of activity in neutral versus the pornography.

42:53 Adam But neutral meaning just, so that's riding a bicycle?

42:56 Drew Riding a bicycle. Or looking at kittens or something. It's just some sort of neutral picture.

42:59 Adam But shouldn't it be not looking at kittens? Shouldn't it just be looking at a wall?

43:04 Drew Yes. They have different kinds of neutral. Okay. Yeah. I don't know how they arrived at neutral, but there were different kinds. There's some, obviously food, if you're hungry, will light up a little different than looking at the bicycle race. Right.

43:18 Adam So what did you find out?

43:20 Drew For myself, although what we found out is that men have this amygdala response, which is a part of the brain that responds, sort of makes for novelty and arousal and sends information to the drive centers immediately. And then boom, you start having drive right away. Women, they light up with arousal, but no drive. And in my own particular case, the scientists who've seen hundreds of these functions of the brain, puts mine up there and recoils.

43:44 Adam Realize, oh, whoa, not ready for it.

43:48 Drew Happy brain.

43:48 Adam Not ready for your passion.

43:51 Drew I gotta get you that picture.

43:53 Adam Really?

43:53 Drew Cause it is living color evidence of the passion.

43:56 Adam Really?

43:57 Drew Yeah, it was deep, a MacDonald's response to use his words.

44:00 Adam And?

44:01 Drew Deep, bilateral.

44:02 Adam Now does it matter, like for me, there's porn and then there's porn. Half the crap I don't like.

44:09 Drew They happen to show stuff that I find pretty appealing, as it turns out. Yeah.

44:14 Adam But I mean, is that an aspect of it? Cause there's stuff I could see where it would be like, holy Christ, and there's other stuff I'd see, you know, chicks got a bad tat, a big boob job. Yeah, right.

44:24 Drew And it was a pretty, there was many dozens of pictures. So you're gonna find something you like in them.

44:29 Adam And let me say this too, there's certain depictions, I mean, there's certain kinds of food that you don't like. And there's certain kinds of porn that you don't like.

44:38 Caller I mean, you could...

44:40 Drew What they did was, the way they got the pictures was, they had women pick them out. They wanted the most arousing pictures to women. You've always said, I'm a chick, so the most arousing pictures to women. And because we were trying to get women to respond as much as possible in the study and still have it be different than men.

44:55 Adam Now, what about when you beat off in the machine? Was there a problem there?

44:59 Drew The thing's a huge mess. And you can imagine, it was a mess.

45:03 Adam Yeah, because you'd taken an iron supplement a couple of days before.

45:07 Drew Not a couple of days before. It was in my seminal vasculitis.

45:10 Adam Awesome, awesome. All right, so what did you learn other than what we already knew, which was your passion and passion?

45:18 Drew That, you know what I thought was interesting is that when they just showed pictures of, they have some sort of pictures of just women, sort of attracted women. And I get this, this ante, this orbital frontal activation, which is something I've always thought that I do, which it's sort of an empathy thing.

45:33 Adam Is your wife gonna get mad at you when she sees it?

45:37 Drew I actually, we actually were filming something for Discovery Health and I apologize to her profusely. Not only just because of the reaction, but also because this is something she complains about. I was like, not my fault, it's my brain.

45:47 Adam I mean, but if you're out to dinner and a good looking woman walks by, you have to pretend like you don't notice, but now she knows you know.

45:54 Drew They even think about that.

45:55 Adam You know what I'm saying?

45:55 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

45:56 Adam She knows there's some frontal lobe or some amygdala activity going on. When you're saying, ah, I didn't even notice.

46:02 Drew Yeah, what are you talking about?

46:04 Adam I was looking at her shoes. Yeah. So I just mean, but she knows.

46:09 Drew Here's the other thing. The other thing is there was a very comical thing in my visual cortex. He goes, whoa, look at this pattern. You were really interested in this picture. It's a pattern of high intensity scanning.

46:20 Adam So to just show a picture of a beautiful woman.

46:22 Drew Yeah.

46:24 Adam And you would show more interest and more passion than the average guy.

46:29 Drew The other guy was there in the scanner, too, and his was lowfully.

46:33 Adam Really? Not a passionate man.

46:36 Drew Not at all. And interesting, everyone knew kind of what their scans were like. Everyone kind of knew, like, yeah, that's me. Yep. Because the guy would sort of mind read. He'd go, oh, you have this kind of activity and this kind of activity, and here's this going on and that going on. And people go, yeah, that's me.

46:50 Adam All right. Now, what about my lie detector machine now?

46:54 Drew Did you talk to him about it? But I'm in communication with him. I'll send him an email tomorrow, and I will talk to him.

46:58 Adam Please, please.

46:59 Drew All right.

47:00 Adam Well, now we got to take another break.

47:01 Drew All right.

47:01 Adam We'll be right back after this.

47:05 Caller All right, guys.

47:05 Caller Here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

47:10 Drew One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

47:12 Caller 877-889-DATE.

47:42 Adam There, buddy, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. All right. Now it's actually time for the show. It's time for that part of the show where we actually take calls.

47:58 Drew What do you say? No way. What part is that? I'm confused.

48:00 Adam It's the second hour.

48:02 Drew Oh, okay.

48:02 Adam I complain about foreigners in the first hour. You're talking about functional MRIs. Second hour, we take calls. Take some calls. Faith?

48:11 Caller Hello?

48:11 Adam You're 21?

48:13 Caller Yes.

48:14 Adam What's up?

48:16 Caller Well, I have been dating this man, actually, for five years. I met him when I was 16. He was 26. Recently, over Christmas, we got engaged and about three days ago, I found out that I was pregnant. We had planned on going to school in a few months in September and finished school. We had everything planned out.

48:48 Drew Why is he not done with school? He's 31.

48:51 Caller Well, because he dropped out. He actually has other kids, and because of that, he's gone to school but never finished.

49:00 Adam Talk about high school or junior college?

49:05 Caller Just college in general. He went to Louisiana Tech for a while and had a year left and moved to Enid with his family.

49:14 Adam He's out in Enid?

49:17 Caller Yes, Enid. Have you guys ever heard of Enid?

49:19 Adam We do the show from Enid.

49:21 Drew We're there now.

49:22 Adam Oklahoma, right?

49:23 Drew No, that's Louisiana.

49:25 Adam I mean, Louisiana. He's out in Eden, Louise?

49:30 Caller It's not that hick, you know. I have a...

49:33 Drew By the way, how do you spell Eden? Is it E-A-T-O-N?

49:36 Adam Is she saying Eden or Eden? How do you spell it?

49:39 Caller E-N-I-D.

49:42 Adam E-N-E-N-I-D.

49:44 Drew Like an old lady's name.

49:45 Adam Enid, yeah. Yeah, we used to hunt for nutria out that way.

49:51 Caller Wow.

49:52 Adam Yeah.

49:52 Caller Well, you know, every once in a while likes to go out and hunt squirrels and stuff like that.

49:58 Caller Sure.

49:58 Drew That's good.

49:59 Caller All right.

49:59 Adam So he's got how many other kids?

50:02 Caller He's got, actually, he's got three kids from three different women.

50:06 Caller All right.

50:07 Drew Well, what a man.

50:08 Adam This guy's a keeper. Don't let him out of your sights.

50:11 Drew Especially since he got you at 16. I mean, that really means he's a...

50:15 Adam Hang on him with both hands.

50:17 Drew Yeah.

50:17 Adam Let me just go for... I'm going to make a wild guess here because I know people.

50:22 Drew I know, too. I know what you're going to say. Yeah.

50:24 Adam You know, I know those people. I put it together. Twenty-six, hunting, dating a 16-year-old. I'm talking about this guy.

50:31 Drew Oh, he is well, hunting, dating someone who hunts squirrels.

50:34 Adam That's her. He's 26. She's 16 when they meet. He's going out to Louisiana Tech.

50:40 Drew Three other kids.

50:40 Adam He's moved out to Enid. Three other kids. This will be his fourth kid with as many wives or gal pals. I'm going to you.

50:49 Drew Oh, absolutely.

50:50 Adam It's 100 percent.

50:51 Drew 100 percent.

50:51 Adam Got to be. Got to be.

50:53 Caller I'd like to tell it, but...

50:54 Adam Do you know what temple do you guys attend? He's Jewish, right?

50:58 Caller No, we're both Catholic, actually.

51:00 Adam What? No way.

51:01 Drew No way.

51:01 Caller No way.

51:02 Adam No way. Drew and I know people.

51:05 Caller We know people.

51:06 Adam There's no way this guy's not a Jew. You got to ask him. Maybe he converted or something.

51:12 Drew To Catholicism.

51:13 Adam Yeah, yeah, to Catholicism, right. He's definitely born at you. He's a Jew for Jesus. I know the behavior patterns when I see them. Go ahead, Faith.

51:23 Caller Well, as we've been together, I mean, he used to be into a lot of drugs and did a lot of things that you wouldn't normally do.

51:33 Drew Again, it's all adding up, Adam.

51:36 Adam Yeah.

51:37 Caller But he cleaned himself up and everything's been going great. We got engaged. We are rolling in the pool.

51:44 Drew I'm just trying to picture her dad.

51:46 Caller We're all ready to go, right?

51:47 Adam Yeah. Why, by the way, why do you have to hitch your wagon to his S team? You know what I mean? Is there no other mule that you can hitch your wagon to? You got to get the lame one who's incontinent, who's got an attitude problem.

52:04 Drew With three legs.

52:05 Adam With three legs, yeah. There's not just a healthy mule that's about your age that you can go ahead and hook up with. You got to get the one with the baggage, the bunches of kids, ten years older, the drug abuse history. You're 21.

52:20 Caller Yeah, I know. And that's a lot of what I've been thinking about lately.

52:25 Drew Who is her dad? Picture of the dad in the trailer.

52:28 Adam Who am I? Now, what's your dad do wrong? What happened?

52:34 Caller They're actually, you know, my mom is a drug and alcohol counselor and a family and marriage counselor. And my dad works for the Department of Human Services. I mean, my mom has been analyzing me my whole life. And I know, I mean, I have a very close knit family that, you know, nothing that's not honest.

52:57 Adam She says close knit means they stab each other with knitting needles.

53:00 Drew Knitting needles, yeah, close.

53:01 Adam She actually means that close enough to do that. Wait a minute, I hit the wrong one there.

53:06 Drew Hold one.

53:06 Adam Where the hell are we?

53:07 Drew One.

53:08 Caller He says a kid or whatever.

53:09 Drew Faith, was your mom being an alcohol counselor, was she a drug addict when you were growing up?

53:13 Caller No, no, not at all.

53:15 Adam What went so horribly wrong? Is your dad physically or sexually abuse you?

53:19 Caller No, no, not at all.

53:21 Drew And by the way, your mom analyzing you is not gonna help you. If she knows that you've got problems, she needs to refer you for help.

53:26 Adam Why do you make such crappy decisions?

53:29 Caller Well, you know, I was trying to figure that out myself.

53:33 Drew Stop figuring it out. Just change direction here.

53:36 Adam Yeah, how about you get away from this guy?

53:40 Caller I tried. I moved to Tulsa for two years and we've always managed to get back together and he's always...

53:49 Adam He says he's going to say something. Now you have to just be fat. That's all. You're big gal, right?

53:56 Caller But now that I have this kid, now what do I do?

53:59 Adam Are you a big gal?

54:00 Caller Am I big? Oh, no.

54:02 Adam Really?

54:04 Caller Why would I have to be big?

54:06 Adam This is how a big woman acts. Your regular, sporty, 21-year-old doesn't do this.

54:13 Drew Unless you've been abused.

54:14 Adam Unless you've been abused.

54:16 Caller Huh?

54:17 Adam All right. All right. Well, now I'm going to bad teeth. But I don't want to keep breaking it down. Faith, this guy obviously is a bad guy because you can tell by his patterns of cranking out children with women and then moving on to the next one. And when I'm in charge, by the way, we're going to snuff these guys out because we really look at it, really look at it. You know, whenever they talk about how we're going to control your termite problem, your roach problem, your ant problem, you got to go to the nest.

54:48 Drew Get the queen.

54:49 Adam Yeah.

54:51 Drew Oh, get where they're all being produced.

54:52 Adam Whoever's producing them, yeah. It's like they take the bait, they take it back to the nest. Here's effective roach control isn't a slipper. You got to get to the root of the problem. This guy's the root of our problem. He's putting his root in all these nests and hence four kids now. This is his fourth kid that he won't be taking care of and that'll be our problem one day soon.

55:19 Drew One more quick question with him. All right.

55:21 Adam I can't believe he's not Jewish. Of course he is. What's his first name? Like Kevin or something?

55:28 Caller No, it's Aaron.

55:30 Adam Aaron, but ask him if his real name is like Velva or something like that or Mochette or something.

55:37 Caller We've never had any problems. And I told him, I just found out a couple of days ago and I told him and it just, you know, I've had no reaction from him. I've asked him what he wants to do. I've already had one abortion two years ago. With him?

55:56 Drew Oh, come on, Faith. What are you doing?

56:00 Caller Well, until now that I've done it, you really don't know until you actually do it. And with some people, they just...

56:07 Drew So therefore, Faith, you get pregnant again? Because you know how much you don't want to do that? You get pregnant again?

56:14 Caller Yeah.

56:15 Drew No, no, no, no excuses. Stop. I don't want to hear anymore. Here's the deal. How is his recovery going? How many times, how many means does he go to a week? You met a sponsor?

56:26 Caller No, I have not.

56:28 Drew How much contact does he have with his sponsor?

56:31 Caller Well, I don't think he actually goes anymore.

56:33 Drew Well, he's using that too. So that's it. You don't war a drug addict and then not a drug addict.

56:38 Adam You just join the ranks of his chicks he's knocked up and kids he's not going to take care of. That's you. You didn't learn your lesson. And by the way, hey, look, if you told me you were horribly abused and molested, I wouldn't be so mean to you. But just turns out-

56:54 Drew Well, yeah, you would.

56:55 Adam You're just stupid. That's all. Your parents were there. They were good for you. You just got hooked up with a bad guy and you're pigheaded. And now you got a kid and good luck raising him with an alcoholic dad. He's not going to be around. He's an idiot.

57:08 Caller Well, you know, I don't know. I haven't done any real research on figuring out- because I'm going to school for graphic design and pretty soon I'll be going to Dallas to work for Fossil for advertising.

57:25 Adam Fantastic. I bet that's never going to happen. What are you going to do with your kid?

57:29 Caller Well, see, that's the thing. Now it's changed all my plans and I-

57:33 Adam Shocking.

57:35 Caller I'm either going to have to put it off and just wait until it's old enough.

57:39 Adam Well, look, that's what you got to do. I mean, look, what do you expect?

57:45 Drew Oh.

57:46 Caller Oh. All right.

57:48 Adam Listen. Look, here's the thing, everyone.

57:50 Drew Listen. This is the problem with pure rationality right there. You can rationalize your way in and out of everything, anything.

57:57 Adam Well, he loves me. No, you don't understand him.

57:59 Drew I've been thinking about it and here's what I figured out. No, no, no. I like the idea.

58:04 Adam I like this one too. He's changed by what? Not changing. You know what I mean? What's he done to change?

58:10 Drew Yeah. Where's the pattern changing here?

58:12 Adam What has he done? Is he deep in therapy and he's giving up the drugs and he has a sponsor and he's doing the step. Is that change or he just talks a little differently to you? I don't understand. Let me explain what stupid is, everybody. Everybody Fs up. Everybody Fs up. People even F up multiple times, but the true losers in society do the same thing over and over and over again. Not two times, 28 times. That's what makes a loser. The bad move, the bad decision, everybody does that. And sometimes it costs you. Sometimes you end up with a kid. Sometimes you end up with AIDS. Sometimes you end up dead. By and large, you get to make a couple of mistakes. Let me explain what the universe is.

59:02 Drew Probability.

59:03 Adam Not fair, not unfair, doesn't care. God, if there is a God, he's not on the job. Or he certainly doesn't care about your ass, or certainly doesn't seem to have any hand in anything. So okay, let's just say, I'll go along with you idiots. There is a God, but please at least come with me this far. He's not getting involved. It's like you saying, I'm in a fight on a schoolyard. I got my big imaginary buddy. He ain't stepping in. So whatever it is, if you're going to get your ass, and by the way, this kid could be pounding your head against the curb, he ain't stepping in. So whether he's there or not, well, neither here nor there, cause he ain't stepping in obviously. Maybe when the bully cracks your head against the curb and eventually you die, you can go up and ask him why he didn't step in. That might be a first question for him, but only then will you be having contact with him. I've figured this out. I've seen enough good people die, enough horrible things happen to innocent people, enough good things happen to horrible people to realize he ain't stepping in. So throw out the high, throw out the low, throw out your imaginary buddy in the sky, and what you have is a bunch of events. Some people break down one time in the car, get out and get killed on the freeway. Some people get away with it 500 times, but there's an average for just about everything. You can screw without a condom. There's a pretty good chance you're not going to get anyone pregnant, and there's a pretty good chance you're not going to get AIDS or Hep C or whatever. Pretty good chance. But if you do it 150 times, 500 times, 1000 times, there you go. That's pretty much how it works. Now, some guys get to have sex 5000 times, never get anything. Some guys' condom breaks one time, they got something. It's unfair to focus on either one of those extremes because that ain't you. You're somewhere in the middle that's making that middle line of the medium line up. All right? This is what everyone has to think. You get a few F-ups and you continue. Everyone can make an F-up and move on. It's usually no harm, no foul, no kids, no AIDS, no cleaned out by the trucker on the side of the freeway. But you make a few and you keep going, and then you're a loser. That's how it works. You see? Because you're screwed with the odds. All right? All right. So, Faith, he got you pregnant. You had the abortion. Remember how horrible that was? Pow. Right back on top of this guy. And you didn't check the fact that this guy's 10 years your senior and has three other kids with three other women. That doesn't factor in. Not a factor.

1:01:34 Drew You don't understand. I've been thinking about it.

1:01:35 Adam This is me. This is me. This is different. Really? You didn't say that to broad number two or broad number three. No. Angela?

1:01:44 Caller Hi.

1:01:45 Adam 21?

1:01:46 Caller Yes.

1:01:47 Adam What's up?

1:01:49 Caller When I was a teenager, like 16, 17, I was molested by my mom.

1:01:56 Adam All right. Perfectly normal. Perfectly healthy.

1:01:59 Drew Again?

1:02:00 Caller When I was a late teenager.

1:02:02 Drew Of course, of course.

1:02:03 Caller I was molested by my mom. Your mom? I was just molested. I mean, she would give me oral.

1:02:10 Drew Wow.

1:02:10 Caller And play with me.

1:02:12 Drew Incredible. That's a rare one. Is your mom a drug addict?

1:02:15 Caller No. No drugs, no alcohol, something like that.

1:02:19 Adam Well, she's old fashioned that way.

1:02:21 Drew What's her diagnosis?

1:02:22 Adam She must have a brain tumor or something then.

1:02:26 Drew You still have a relationship with her?

1:02:27 Caller I still talk to her, actually, yes. And I don't know why. But my big question was, the way she molested me is the only way I can have orgasms.

1:02:36 Drew Well, at most 21 year olds, that's the only way. In fact, most women, period. But certainly at 21.

1:02:41 Adam Yeah.

1:02:42 Drew So that probably has nothing to do with the orgasm, with the trauma. The fact that you can be with anybody at all and have orgasms is rather extraordinary.

1:02:49 Adam We got to get the mom hooked up to the functional MRI. Oh, ho, ho. Oh, wait a minute, Angela.

1:02:56 Caller I'm sorry.

1:02:57 Adam All right, hold on. Your mom, not a drug addict, not an alcoholic.

1:03:02 Caller No. No, we didn't even smoke cigarettes.

1:03:04 Adam Okay. One must have been abused like a piñata.

1:03:10 Caller Actually, I finally got it out of her, well, I finally got it out of her that her mom had molested her too. But after I got it out of her, she started crying saying she never molested me, hung up on me. I was abused too, physically by both parents.

1:03:27 Drew How does she pull it off with you as a teenager?

1:03:31 Adam The molestation went from what age to what age?

1:03:34 Caller She was always abusive with me and my brother, and then basically when my dad left a few years later, my brother left and it was just me and her. She kept me very enclosed. I was only allowed to go to school and back. She never went outside the house. She didn't work. She just got her first ID a couple of years ago.

1:03:52 Drew How did she support you?

1:03:54 Caller With child support from my father and money from relatives.

1:04:00 Adam She also played the French horn in the orchestra.

1:04:04 Drew I thought it was the oboe.

1:04:06 Adam Second chair.

1:04:08 Caller I was only allowed to go to school and so I was very enclosed. It won't be school in the grocery store.

1:04:13 Drew So this is sort of like a Stockholm syndrome where she had control over you.

1:04:17 Adam Yeah, and she was, and now this abuse or sexual abuse went on from what age?

1:04:24 Caller It started, my brother left when I was in ninth grade. So I was probably about 14. So it probably started around 15, 16, 17.

1:04:32 Adam It started at 15.

1:04:34 Caller I didn't know it was wrong until about the last year. I was just so embarrassed and I didn't know that, you know, other people didn't do it. I was just so enclosed and...

1:04:42 Adam Well, they do, but it's about 30%, 40% of American families. And first off, I don't know what your culture is. We cannot judge. It's impossible to judge.

1:04:53 Drew Many parts of the world.

1:04:54 Adam Many parts of the world this goes on.

1:04:55 Caller I was born and raised in the LA area. I was born in East LA. I grew up in Chino.

1:04:59 Adam Now we can't, you're Hispanic?

1:05:02 Caller I'm quarter Hispanic, half Irish, and a quarter Norwegian.

1:05:05 Adam All right, well, we can't judge any of those things. So whatever you do is whatever you do is impossible to judge.

1:05:11 Drew You sound remarkably sane in what you've been through.

1:05:13 Caller Well, it's, well, because I've been through worse. I was, I accidentally, I say accidentally, I got married for a year and that was an abusive, not only was it physically, but he raped me for a year.

1:05:27 Drew He what?

1:05:27 Caller He raped me for a year.

1:05:30 Drew I would imagine you'd experience anything as rape.

1:05:32 Caller No, that was physical, throw me down, pin me. And then the next year I got in a year relationship with a mentally abusive person, so I just stopped dating.

1:05:41 Adam There's been a time. Look, here's the thing, Angela, you got, here's your two choices in the dating realm. One is finding actual abusers and dating them. Two is finding guys who aren't really abusers and deciding they're abusing you.

1:05:57 Drew And or-

1:05:57 Adam Or making them abusing you.

1:05:58 Drew Or number three, yeah, number three, making them abusing you. Or number three, finding reasonable guys and sabotaging that. Making sure that doesn't work.

1:06:05 Adam Yeah, yeah, you got that.

1:06:07 Drew I'm still curious, how does your mother initiate this whole thing? How did that happen? A teenager.

1:06:12 Adam We've all had that conversation with, I mean, you with your father, not your mother.

1:06:16 Caller Well, she would just always, she would always ask me to like walk around naked. And then it just stemmed into, she wanted me to lay down because I was a virgin up until I almost was 18. And she was just saying, you know, this is what it's gonna feel like when you're with a guy.

1:06:34 Adam That's by the way, the version, that's one of those good, good news, bad news. So like 18 year old guys getting on to, you're gonna, you're gonna be my first. Okay, that's great. Here's, here's the baggage part. This is a little baggage. What, what happens? Some guy give a little finger action or something.

1:06:51 Caller You're close.

1:06:54 Drew Not some guy.

1:06:56 Adam All right, Angela, here's the deal, baby doll. You know, you can be angry at your mom. You should be angry at your mom. You just have to know that your mom was, had the same and more done to her during her childhood. You should really be mad at not only your mom, but your mom's mom and any dude.

1:07:14 Drew For setting this all up and dad for leaving you with this, this woman.

1:07:17 Adam Yeah, your dad too.

1:07:19 Caller Yeah, my dad, I keep trying to, I've told him about what happened and all he could say is sorry. He just does not talk. I can't get him to talk.

1:07:27 Drew Does he apologize for leaving you with her?

1:07:29 Caller Yeah, he just says sorry that he tried for custody for about maybe half a year and then he just gave up because my mom is just really crazy. All right.

1:07:38 Adam Well, we do, we do hear a lot of this, by the way, and tons of guys, a bunch of just cowards, by the way, who do that. That, that, that bitch is nuts, man. I got out of there. You got out of there, he left you three kids. She's verbally abusive, she's physically abusive, she's crazy. I call her the devil, she devil, she devil.

1:08:00 Drew Witchy woman.

1:08:01 Adam I wish no man upon her boy, she, nobody, anyone who crosses her path. I moved to Florida, I left my four kids there.

1:08:08 Drew In Michigan.

1:08:09 Adam Yeah, they're meant to defend for themselves.

1:08:10 Drew Well, no, they're fine. She's a good mother, she's a good mom. Good mom, though.

1:08:13 Adam All this boy's nine, he'll be fine. And, you know, they go nine down to four months.

1:08:16 Drew No, the thing is, first of all, she's a great mom. She's a great mom, and the kids, they're doing great. They're thriving, they're beautiful.

1:08:21 Adam Well, now, that comes when you start questioning them. Yeah, it's all that she devil stuff. And I'll tell you, this is just as Lizzie Borden. I'll tell you, boy, this bitch is nuts. And then you're like, well, where are your kids? Oh, they're over there, we're there. Well, what about, oh, she's good, mom. I mean, they're good.

1:08:38 Drew She's, they're fine, they're thriving, they're great.

1:08:39 Adam She married a guy, I'm not too crazy about him. He drinks a little too much, but he's cool. He doesn't talk that much. Fantastic. Just leave the three kids with the world's worst woman. Fantastic. Doing a great job, by the way. And move out of state. Fantastic. Enjoy.

1:08:55 Drew Enjoy.

1:08:55 Adam And just enjoy.

1:08:56 Drew How about Donsa?

1:08:56 Adam And no proms, no bad dreams, no karma coming your way. Let's get yourself a little job driving a town car and that's about it. Get yourself a new cow.

1:09:08 Drew Really?

1:09:09 Adam People can do that? There's three kids? Just, pshh. Yeah, I sent him, I sent one of them a Vermont teddy bear show Christmas time.

1:09:17 Drew But therein lies the mystery of the impact of the family of origin. That guy that can leave like that must have had a dad left like that because they just don't understand. They have no way to appreciate the impact.

1:09:30 Adam Oh yeah. Angela?

1:09:32 Caller Yes.

1:09:32 Adam Alright, forget about sex. You have to not get pregnant.

1:09:36 Caller It's too late. I have two kids.

1:09:38 Drew Oh my god.

1:09:40 Caller I got my tubes tied after the second one though.

1:09:42 Drew Alright, there you go.

1:09:45 Caller Two kids.

1:09:46 Adam Who's raising these two kids?

1:09:48 Caller Yes, I am.

1:09:49 Adam Who is? You and who? Where's the guy?

1:09:51 Caller Me and my daughter's father. The daughter's father, see, I'm not attracted to him in any way.

1:09:56 Adam Oh, that's good.

1:09:57 Drew He's got a nice guy though.

1:09:58 Adam He's a good guy.

1:09:59 Caller No, he's a good guy and I'm not attracted to him so I figure, you know, that's probably a sign that, you know, he's probably better than the people I've been with.

1:10:05 Drew That's right, the fact that you're not attracted to him. But how about trying to get a relationship with him?

1:10:10 Caller I'm not even going to try right now. I'm just going to start my therapy.

1:10:13 Caller All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.

1:10:16 Adam Do you have girls at least? They're not boys, are they?

1:10:21 Caller No, he's 36.

1:10:24 Drew No, no, no, the child.

1:10:26 Caller The child, once, two and a half, with my husband and then my daughter is six.

1:10:31 Adam Do they have one daughter, one boy?

1:10:34 Caller Yes.

1:10:35 Adam All right, all right. Stripper and a cop killer.

1:10:38 Drew Or maybe a cop.

1:10:39 Adam That's a push.

1:10:40 Drew Couldn't be a cop, too. You go the way.

1:10:42 Adam It could be a cop, yeah. All right.

1:10:44 Drew So you're looking positively.

1:10:45 Caller All right.

1:10:47 Drew All right.

1:10:47 Adam Therapy and tubes tied. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:10:53 Caller Hello, is this your radio?

1:10:55 Caller Radio, Loveline will be r-

1:11:18 Adam Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-E-E-1-9-1. Ben Stein gonna be in here later on this week. Ben, good man, fan of the show, Drew. Good, I like that. Jackie?

1:11:34 Caller Anderson?

1:11:36 Caller Hi.

1:11:36 Adam Anderson?

1:11:37 Caller Here.

1:11:39 Adam What's up?

1:11:40 Caller Hi. God, I feel like I need to do one of those MRIs on my husband. It's so funny you brought that up tonight. I've been a fan of you guys for a long time. I'm really glad you're out there. I've just been side swiped. I've been in a happy marriage for about 7 years and my husband was diagnosed bipolar. We have a 2-year-old daughter.

1:12:03 Drew Recently diagnosed or he's been bipolar the whole time?

1:12:06 Caller No, he's recently been diagnosed back in October.

1:12:09 Drew How old is he?

1:12:10 Caller He is 34.

1:12:12 Drew Okay.

1:12:13 Caller And my problem is I knew something was wrong. I caught him cheating on me and I knew that he just wasn't right. I wanted to not just kick him to the curb. Like we had been really happy. I was really happy. I knew that there's got to be something going on here.

1:12:31 Adam So how did you catch him?

1:12:33 Caller On the Internet.

1:12:35 Adam Yeah. They were talking back and forth?

1:12:37 Caller Oh, yeah. They were planning on a little rendezvous in another city.

1:12:42 Adam People, I'm telling you, remember when I said guys find chicks' diaries? Yeah. And discover stuff? The Internet, the computer, that's a guy's diary. Yeah. And it's even worse because it's time dates and stamps. I mean, it's footprints.

1:12:59 Drew You can sniff it out.

1:13:00 Adam It's fingerprints. It's DNA. There's no denying anything. There's, oh, you know, what? Oh, that old thing. That was a long time ago. Really? It says, it says January 2005.

1:13:12 Caller Yeah. Yeah. So I confronted him. He said he wasn't sure if he should have gotten married. Gave me the, like, turned it around on me kind of.

1:13:20 Adam He caved in, though. He didn't, he didn't go for the denial at the beginning.

1:13:23 Caller No. I printed it out and showed it to him.

1:13:25 Adam How do you, by the way, now, how do you do that in case I'm, you know, thinking about cheating, like through the Internet? What, now, obviously he erases this email, right?

1:13:37 Caller No. That was, he's really bad at this. He's really bad at it. It was just staring me in the face. I just clicked on it and there it was. Wow.

1:13:46 Drew He, he, he sounds kind of like an a-hole. It has to be.

1:13:50 Caller Well, you know, that, I, I just, I was really happy.

1:13:55 Drew You can't blame this all on the bipolarity. That's not all bipolar.

1:13:59 Adam What's he do? Restaurant?

1:14:01 Caller Wait, what?

1:14:02 Adam What, what business is he in?

1:14:04 Caller He's in sales.

1:14:05 Caller Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Yeah.

1:14:07 Caller Yeah. Red flag, right?

1:14:09 Adam Yeah. Well, here's the thing about sales. Sales guys are like publicists and lawyers, wherever everyone has to say to me all the time. Not all publicists are ego maniacal a-holes and not all attorneys are bad. Not all guys who sell, not all, but 90 something percent are despicable. And sales guys are almost always horrible. Look, they're great guys to go out and have a beer with, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to marry any of these guys.

1:14:35 Drew What kind of sales?

1:14:37 Caller I'd rather not say.

1:14:38 Caller Okay.

1:14:42 Drew That focuses in an awful lot and could get in trouble with the company and stuff.

1:14:45 Caller Well, he travels for his job and opportunity arose. I was really happy. I feel like the man that I married that I walked on the aisle with is not the man that I have today living with me.

1:14:56 Adam All right. Well, so there's the bipolar aspect. I swear to you, I'm sticking with the sales part, which is, okay, the whole thing about the sales part is, is you never know who you're talking to and what they're doing.

1:15:06 Drew Well, that's what she's saying, that now she sees a new person before she had another one.

1:15:11 Adam Right.

1:15:11 Drew And the fact that he was saying that he wished he hadn't gotten married, I mean, that's profound.

1:15:17 Adam Well, maybe he's just flipping it on her instead of being apologetic and backtracking.

1:15:21 Caller Well, that's the other thing. I've been willing to go through about three months from, I'd say, the summer till the fall trying to say to him, we need to work this out. What's going on? And I just knew in the back of my head something wasn't right. So I got him to see a psychiatrist and they diagnosed him. And he started L'Amictil and about six weeks into it, he got therapeutic and he was back. The man I married was back.

1:15:48 Drew Oh, good. Well, that's nice.

1:15:50 Caller It was great. It was really, really great. I was totally excited about this. And I was gun-shy because of what had happened to the other woman. But I thought I need to turn the page. And if I can't turn the page, you know, obviously we can't.

1:16:04 Drew Just smelling it.

1:16:05 Adam He's an alcoholic or her dad was an alcoholic.

1:16:08 Caller No, that's the weirdest thing about you guys. My family, like I've listened to your show forever and I never dreamed I'd be a caller. I, my parents are still together. Very.

1:16:16 Drew No, no, no. I'm just smelling it on your husband.

1:16:19 Caller Oh, yeah. That's a big problem now. Now he's using that to get manic.

1:16:23 Drew No, no, this is an alcohol. This is all alcoholic mood, this whole thing. I just smell it.

1:16:27 Caller Yeah, I think he has an alcoholic, right?

1:16:29 Drew I'm sure he is. And he avoided all that by getting diagnosed with bipolarity. This happens all the time. He probably was doing cocaine when he was cheating.

1:16:36 Caller Really?

1:16:37 Drew Yeah, it all goes together.

1:16:38 Caller Booger sugar.

1:16:39 Drew Yeah.

1:16:39 Caller Well, we have a three-year-old daughter.

1:16:42 Drew Listen, he needs to get in some recovery. He needs to get honest. This all smacks about. I speak fluent alcoholic, Jackie, in this. I'm translating this into alcoholism. The bipolarity probably, but I bet there's some drug triggering it.

1:16:54 Adam You speak some chalk talk, too.

1:16:55 Caller Chalk talk.

1:16:56 Drew Did you bring him in to this?

1:16:57 Adam Well, only kind of the collagen calls.

1:16:59 Caller Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:17:00 Caller It doesn't do.

1:17:01 Caller Well, I gave him, you know, he never groveled, never kissed my butt, never did anything, but I had him back, the guy that, you know, without the groveling and all that, but.

1:17:11 Drew Yeah, he stopped doing drugs. He took his limactol.

1:17:13 Caller He wanted to just turn the page and then he starts drinking. Well, yeah, he's always been doing that, though. But he basically came back to me, the guy that I married, whatever. But then what happened was recently he went on a binge where he wanted to be manic again. And he got a phone number from a girl. I saw the phone number in the back of his business card. I confronted him and I just kicked him out. I said, you know what? I can't do this.

1:17:38 Drew I mean, that's good. All right. Good move. All right. Now what?

1:17:41 Caller My question to you, Dr. Drew and Adam is, what about my daughter? Like, am I doing the wrong thing? I mean, I don't want to...

1:17:47 Adam Not when he's that way.

1:17:49 Drew Yeah. Not at this point. But here's the deal. Just kicking him out. If you want to end this marriage, obviously...

1:17:56 Caller He's still living with me. I haven't officially put him through the curtain.

1:18:00 Drew You need to talk to his doctor about the drinking. He needs to get into recovery. You need to go to... Listen, of all the things you can do that are going to improve this situation, there's one thing that will improve the overall prognosis, and that is for you to go to Al-Anon to get a sponsor. So you change the dance. So when you kick him out, you kick him out with the intent that he more actively participate in some treatment. For your child, if this relationship is going to heal, you both need to be in some kind of recovery. You need to talk to his doctor about his alcoholism. You need to make sure he sees somebody who's used to treating addiction, because I guarantee you that's a big, big part of what's going on here. As far as the child goes, well, if you have an alcoholic act of addict in your house, that's not going to be good for the child either. I think what's going to be good for the child is you both get in a, you codependency recovery, him addiction recovery, and you salvage this relationship.

1:18:46 Adam Me squanto. Oh, wait a minute. You and him, I don't know.

1:18:52 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:18:52 Adam All right, yeah. Do all those things.

1:18:56 Drew Yeah, and have a good time.

1:18:57 Adam Don't marry salesmen. They don't, they're horrible guys. I mean, there's three of them that are good, but you're not going to marry that one.

1:19:05 Drew But Jackie, don't think just because they got a diagnosis of bipolar doesn't mean he's not a severe addict. Every, I've seen, pretty much every addict I've ever treated has had some other psychiatric diagnosis before they get honest about their addiction and come for addiction treatment. Psychiatrists are used to being fooled by addicts.

1:19:20 Adam Let me explain sales. Nobody wants to get into sales. You just find out that you're not very good at anything else, especially working hard. And here's the thing about, here's the thing, here's the thing about salespeople. That whole notion of, you know, honest days work for honest days pay, man, they don't go for that. All right, so what are your choices? Well, be good at something. Well, I'm not going to do that because I'm going to have to read a textbook and memorize some crap and take a test. Screw that. Give me that skin bronzer and that red tie. I'm going to lease myself a car I can't afford and see if I can make some money by hitting the road, giving the shift to everybody. That's really what salespeople are, yes?

1:20:03 Drew Nice. Not always, but it can be.

1:20:05 Adam Mostly a mess. Mostly not good at anything.

1:20:08 Drew Well, I mean, when your job is to manipulate people.

1:20:10 Adam That's what you do.

1:20:11 Drew You got to wonder.

1:20:13 Adam Here's how your job is to get people to do stuff they probably didn't want to do or could have done without you.

1:20:18 Drew But there are sales, there are people that bring products and services to people that need it.

1:20:23 Adam Once in a while.

1:20:24 Drew Yeah.

1:20:25 Adam Still can't hang with these people. William?

1:20:28 Caller Hey, Adam and Drew, what's going on?

1:20:29 Adam You're 16. What's happened to my brother?

1:20:32 Caller Actually, I have two questions if that's okay.

1:20:35 Adam All right.

1:20:35 Caller Okay, the first one is I'm circumcised and I was wondering if there was a procedure I can get done to become uncircumcised.

1:20:43 Drew Why? Why in the world?

1:20:45 Caller I don't know. I just, I feel like something's been taken from me. I don't know.

1:20:50 Drew I hope this is bogus.

1:20:52 Caller No.

1:20:52 Drew This is bogus.

1:20:53 Caller No.

1:20:54 Adam They, well, you can get a nose job and they can put the extra skin from your nose down there.

1:20:58 Caller Okay. Well, that'll work out.

1:21:00 Adam Yeah. All right. Look, this movement was a foot or a penis some years ago where guys wanted their foreskins back and they're angry at their parents and they started using medical tape to take what was left of their foreskin and try to stretch it like they're some, like aboriginal or something. Please, everybody, just play the cards that were dealt you. Could you just do that?

1:21:24 Drew There are so many other more important things in life to focus on.

1:21:27 Adam Yeah. You got-

1:21:28 Drew And if you feel like something's been taken from you, you better examine what that's all about.

1:21:32 Adam You got-

1:21:32 Drew It's not your response.

1:21:33 Adam No.

1:21:34 Caller Okay. Am I-

1:21:35 Adam You got scrotalplasty to focus on, analplasty. There's many, many other forms- Other than the penis. So, all right, what's number two? Number one, we've dismissed is possibly a bogus question. Go ahead. Number two.

1:21:50 Caller The second one is my anus is the side of the- And-

1:21:55 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, you should have made that number one, by the way.

1:22:00 Caller Oh, yeah?

1:22:01 Adam Yeah. All right.

1:22:02 Caller Next.

1:22:02 Drew Well, you kind of did.

1:22:03 Adam You kind of did.

1:22:04 Caller Yeah.

1:22:04 Adam All right, buddy. Well, we didn't believe you, but you still got through and that's gotta be worth something.

1:22:10 Caller Yeah. Thanks a lot, guys.

1:22:11 Adam All right, buddy.

1:22:12 Drew Good time.

1:22:12 Caller All right.

1:22:13 Adam Yeah.

1:22:14 Drew Good natured bogus caller.

1:22:15 Adam Well, we have a relationship with the bogus callers like Andy Griffith did with Otis, the drunk in Mayberry. You know what I mean? He's on the sheriff. You're the town drunk. You let yourself in. Here's the keys. Try out.

1:22:28 Drew Enjoy.

1:22:29 Adam Enjoy. Yeah. I think we have their bogus callers. Andrea?

1:22:34 Yes.

1:22:34 Adam You're 18?

1:22:35 Caller Yes, I am.

1:22:36 Adam What's up?

1:22:38 Caller Okay. So I just lost my virginity.

1:22:40 Caller Liar, liar whore, liar whore. You know it.

1:22:43 Caller Oh no.

1:22:45 Caller I just lost it four days ago. I have a couple of questions.

1:22:48 Caller All right.

1:22:49 Caller Okay. First is how long are we going to bleed?

1:22:52 Caller Ooh, four days.

1:22:53 Drew You've been bleeding for four days?

1:22:54 Caller Yeah.

1:22:55 Drew Are you on the pill?

1:22:57 Caller Not yet.

1:22:59 Drew Could you be pregnant?

1:23:00 Caller No.

1:23:01 Adam Four days ago? Would you bleed continuously like that?

1:23:04 Caller I was really, really tight, apparently.

1:23:07 Caller Uh-huh.

1:23:08 Adam Is that what he says?

1:23:09 Drew Did it hurt?

1:23:11 Caller Yeah, a lot. And that kind of segues into my second question is that there's this round soreness in my back and I wanted to know if that had to do with it.

1:23:21 Adam Someone just left the ashtray on the bed. Well, that's happened. Drew, passionate man, that beanbag ashtray.

1:23:29 Caller Oh my gosh.

1:23:30 Adam Right on the futon next to the ashtray.

1:23:32 Caller No, it wasn't on the futon, oh my gosh.

1:23:34 Adam Right in the small of the back.

1:23:35 Drew So what are you going to do?

1:23:35 Adam And Drew, just a quick complainant, bitch. I'm kicking into overdrive. I swear I think I'm, relax.

1:23:42 Caller Seriously though, like what is that weird pain in my back?

1:23:46 Drew Well, probably uterine pain. I'm concerned that you're still bleeding and you have an unstable situation. There may be an infection even. Did the guy wear a condom?

1:23:54 Caller Yes.

1:23:56 Adam Who was the guy?

1:23:57 Drew He was my friend.

1:23:59 Adam Wow. Was it one of those things where you worked out a deal to lose your virginity to just your body of yours?

1:24:05 Caller No.

1:24:05 Drew This is a fantasy Adams had for a long time.

1:24:07 Adam Really, yeah.

1:24:08 Caller No. It's not like that at all. It's just, okay, well I go to college and I'm, I just, I just didn't want to be a virgin anymore. I was really tired of that whole thing. I felt like I was lying to myself about it.

1:24:19 Drew But that's the question. How did you pick the guy to arrange that?

1:24:23 Caller It was like, actually that's kind of interesting because he was, he's my friend, he's actually my neighbor, which is even more confusing and weird. But anyways, he's my friend and my roommate and his roommate were like, they could have set it up for us, which is kind of interesting. But yeah, I just wanted a moment.

1:24:44 Adam Hold on, hold on. No, not either. I'm starting to think you have some interest in this guy. Yes.

1:24:50 Caller I don't. No, I don't. I swear I don't.

1:24:53 Adam Be honest.

1:24:54 Caller I swear. I don't. I don't have any interest in him. Because he's kind of, I don't know, like he was fun to mess around with. He was fun to mess around with because we were messing around before. We actually had sex.

1:25:07 Drew That's all right, that's all right. All right, all right.

1:25:09 Adam I'm with you. But why no interest in the guy?

1:25:12 Caller I guess because, I don't know, I kind of think he's almost too old for me.

1:25:17 Drew How old is he?

1:25:18 Caller He's 21 and I'm 18. I don't know. I guess I feel like he's too old for me and he's going to be gone in six months. And so.

1:25:25 Drew There you go.

1:25:25 Adam But if he came to you and said, look, I'm really going to find myself falling for you, would you go out with him?

1:25:31 Caller Probably not.

1:25:33 Adam Wow.

1:25:34 Caller Yeah.

1:25:35 Adam All right. Just want to lose your virginity.

1:25:37 Caller Yeah.

1:25:38 Caller Well, just and I want to store that one for later. Honestly, I wanted to lose it in a moment. Like I have to justify this. I want to lose it in a moment. I don't want to just be at some drunken party and just lose it like that. I wanted to have like a moment and he gave me that moment. Like it was like really nice and everything. It was like a corny moment.

1:25:55 Drew No, no, that's good. That's good. All right. Listen, you need to have a pelvic exam. Okay. Pelvic exam. Yes. You need to have regular pap smears. You need to do that now. You're sexually active. And that irritation in the back is probably referred pain from your uterus, I suspect, or your pelvic organs. And there can be infections up there. There can be inflammation. And the persistent bleeding kind of bothers me. I don't think that's vaginal bleeding from the trauma.

1:26:20 Adam Yeah.

1:26:20 Drew I think it's something in the uterus because of back pain.

1:26:23 Adam It's like entering the octagon. What went on with her vagina. It's no holds barred ultimate fighting. That guy was raring to go. They'd probably been fooling around for like three weeks, like on and off. Then they probably had a three-hour makeout session with a guy. That guy just got a lot of love built up and ready to go. And was probably thinking, I think he wanted to make an impact.

1:26:53 Drew Oh, that's right. He's going to be leaving behind a memory.

1:26:56 Adam Think about it.

1:26:57 Drew That's right. You're right.

1:26:58 Adam So often you hear that, what happened? He was drunk, he was sloppy, it was over before it started. You know what I mean?

1:27:08 Drew Who wants to be that guy? For the rest of you, though, that are thinking about following down, following Andrea's footsteps, how's the husband of the spouse down the road going to feel when she was your first time like? And she's, oh, it's fantastic. I got my neighbor, brought him over, had my way with them.

1:27:25 Adam Yeah.

1:27:26 Drew Wouldn't date the guy in a million years. Give me my moment.

1:27:29 Adam Why talking more? Let me pop in the cassette. You know, because I could sit here and talk about it all night or, you know, we could just go ahead and eat in the den for a change. Come on, kids.

1:27:41 Drew We'll try and eat here. Let's go.

1:27:42 Adam Bring it on in. Bring it on in. Bring it. And leave the dog.

1:27:46 Caller Leave the dog.

1:27:48 Adam Let's take a little break. We'll be right back after this. Hey yo, Love Line, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Let's get back to the fun. We got Heather who's been on meth since 14. She's 18 now. Heather?

1:28:18 Caller Yep.

1:28:19 Adam What's happening, Parkey?

1:28:21 Caller Well, I lost my virginity when I was 13.

1:28:25 Drew That's, I think we call it sexual abuse.

1:28:28 Caller No.

1:28:29 Drew How old was the guy?

1:28:30 Caller 14.

1:28:32 Caller It was my idea.

1:28:34 Adam Well, better than 28.

1:28:37 Caller Yeah.

1:28:37 Caller All right.

1:28:40 Caller Then I took two years and I didn't do anything, and then I started having sex when I was 15. And, in that...

1:28:48 Adam A lot of folks do that. They take that break at 13, you know.

1:28:52 Drew The perennial break.

1:28:53 Adam Shake it out for a few years, and then you're back on it at 15, you know. You're matured. Now you're a woman at this point.

1:28:59 Drew At 15, yes.

1:29:00 Adam Yeah, you were a teenager at 13. Now you're a woman.

1:29:03 Caller Most times...

1:29:03 Adam Just start thinking about kids and settling in. All right, so go ahead, Heather.

1:29:08 Caller But, um, and like, I don't know, I've been having sex from 15 to now, and I've been with multiple people of both sexes, and I get regularly to get breast PDs and stuff, so. Like, every 10 weeks I get tested, and I'm on birth control.

1:29:24 Adam It's like being a porn star, except for you don't get paid.

1:29:27 Caller Pretty much.

1:29:28 Adam You get tested, you get the birth control with multiple partners of both sexes. It's just no pay check.

1:29:34 Drew What are you gonna do?

1:29:35 Caller Yeah, also no orgasm, ever.

1:29:39 Drew Well, you're 18, but that's kind of common at 18.

1:29:41 Adam Yeah, now it says you've been doing math for a while.

1:29:44 Caller Yeah, I just wondered if maybe that might be involved.

1:29:48 Drew Are you doing it currently?

1:29:50 Caller Um, like, until like four days ago.

1:29:54 Drew I was on like a month and a half ago. Being on amphetamine can make it very difficult to have an orgasm for many people.

1:29:58 Adam Yeah, but it's been four days.

1:29:59 Drew Yeah, four whole days we can do it. Off amphetamine if you used for a long time, mood disturbances and memory problems are the most common things we see. But you've got serious chaos in your life, which means there must have been some early childhood trauma.

1:30:13 Caller Oh, early childhood trauma.

1:30:14 Drew Yeah, and that affects... Yeah, well, whatever. That affects the orgasm.

1:30:18 Adam By the way, it turns sexual. You know what I mean?

1:30:21 Caller Yeah.

1:30:24 Adam Your dad beats the crap out of you and you lose your virginity at 13. It's your idea.

1:30:30 Caller Well, it was my mom and she started to kill me, but...

1:30:32 Adam All right. Good enough. So, here's the point.

1:30:35 Drew That's what we call inappropriate laughter.

1:30:36 Adam How about you get yourself some help?

1:30:40 Caller Well, I've been in therapy since I was 12, because my dad actually killed my mom when I was 12. And, like, basically, it's come down to, like...

1:30:54 Caller They say that...

1:30:55 Caller My therapist says that once I stop using drugs, that my main issue... Like, I've dealt with most of my parental, like, guilt issues and everything, and now it's just getting rid of, like, my issues with myself.

1:31:08 Drew You can't deal with anything until you're off drugs. Your brain will not grow on drugs. That's just the nature of the beast. So, you need some recovery. You need to deal with that. And let's get going here.

1:31:22 Adam Right?

1:31:23 Drew Yeah, that's it. The time has come. I know you feel like you're going to cease to exist without meth, but you won't. You can begin to exist without meth.

1:31:30 Adam Yeah. Talk to poor Judith. Judith?

1:31:37 Caller Yes.

1:31:38 Adam You're 24?

1:31:40 Caller Yes, I am.

1:31:41 Adam Your baby died when it was seven months old?

1:31:44 Caller That's right.

1:31:45 Caller What happened?

1:31:47 Caller SIDS.

1:31:48 Drew Yeah, SIDS. Oh, it's awful. And how long ago was that?

1:31:53 Caller That was last September.

1:31:55 Drew So like six months ago, not even?

1:31:57 Caller No, it was actually four months ago.

1:32:00 Adam Are you married?

1:32:01 Caller Yes, I am.

1:32:03 Adam All right. You want to know when it's time to get started again?

1:32:06 Caller Yeah, I want to know if it's healthy that my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant.

1:32:11 Drew Yeah, it is. Here's where it becomes not healthy, is if you make that child responsible for your your trauma and your grief. In other words, that child is a separate person that happens to come along after a big trauma. Don't unload that on that child.

1:32:27 Adam You can't name like Shelly, too. Right, nothing like that.

1:32:30 Drew QE2, no. What's that, Judith?

1:32:33 Caller That's exactly what I was afraid of, that I might do that.

1:32:36 Drew Yeah. And so if you need help with that, certainly get it. Yeah, but just be very, very careful. It's hard not to on an emotional level in some sense.

1:32:43 Adam Well, the thing is, is you have this nine-month buffer from the time you try to replace your kid with a new kid to the time you actually get the kid, so.

1:32:52 Drew And obviously, through human history, this is a common, common thing. I mean, throughout history, most humans did not make it through infancy, at most. Which, by the way, the whole reincarnation thing is suspect to me because of that fact.

1:33:04 Adam Wow.

1:33:05 Drew But true. How come nobody was an infan- a person that died in infancy?

1:33:07 Adam Do the math. Come on, buddy. It's just good science. Please. How dare you?

1:33:12 Drew Most humans didn't make it through infancy in the history. And those females that did died in childbirth.

1:33:18 Adam I was a brave warrior. Yeah.

1:33:19 Drew That may have been true.

1:33:21 Adam Yeah. I was a noble, brave, I was a knight. Did you know that? I was a knight. I heard him. I like all the people that all the people that get brought back were from like one period pretty much. Pretty medieval. No one goes back. I was one of the guys chucking the rocks at Jesus.

1:33:37 Drew No one's Chinese.

1:33:38 Adam Nobody's Chinese.

1:33:39 Drew Which is really most of human history.

1:33:41 Adam Seems like a lot of Chinese guys back then. No one's Chinese and everyone's from about 1670. Yes. I was at the round table.

1:33:48 Drew They're the one they saw in the theaters. They weren't Sumerians. They weren't Africans.

1:33:52 Adam Oh, no. They saw Sean Connery playing a part. Oh, yeah.

1:33:55 Drew That's me.

1:33:55 Adam That's me. The guy shoveling the... No, no, no. No, no. That's you, buddy. I'm that guy. Yeah. My horse has a hood on it.

1:34:02 Caller Yeah.

1:34:03 Adam It's great looking. All right. We'll be back.

1:34:05 Caller All right, guys. Here's the deal.

1:34:07 Caller Looking to hook up? Call the Dateline.

1:34:08 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:34:10 Caller Call the Dateline. One call is all you need to make.

1:34:13 Caller Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE. If you need help, call Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:34:30 Caller Good times, everybody.

1:34:32 Caller Oh yeah.

1:34:32 Drew What else was there in Hollywood?

1:34:34 Adam Nothing but. All right there. Thanks for listening. Sorry for being late. Promise to be on time tomorrow night. Until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:34:43 Caller Therapy since I was 12, because my dad actually killed my mom when I was 12.

1:34:51 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:35:05 Adam Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, January 30, 2005