Episode 1000670981865

0:57 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:08 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:09 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:14 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:18 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:21 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. Not the best of Loveline.

1:27 Drew It's actually Loveline.

1:28 Adam Yeah.

1:29 Drew We're here.

1:29 Adam This is not going to make the best of show. Oh, I can tell you that already.

1:33 Drew I'm so happy to be back.

1:34 Adam Me too.

1:35 Drew Seeing your shining face.

1:36 Adam Thank you.

1:37 Drew Talking to our callers. I can't wait.

1:39 Adam Phone number, 1-800-LLVE-191. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew. Phone. Wait, not phone. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, diction Medicine Specialist. Yeah, buddy.

1:50 Woo.

1:52 Adam Get it on. Got to get it on.

1:55 Drew Yeah. Two thoughts I have.

1:56 Adam Yeah.

1:57 Drew One is, I think it'd be cool if tonight we finish the story about the, what was the guy that got stuck in this Russian submarine when the cars were all stolen from the auto show at Pebble Beach.

2:09 Adam Yeah.

2:10 Drew What was he? He was a veteran.

2:13 Adam Here's the story, by the way. There's a guy, very talented guy. What's his name, Drew?

2:18 Drew Michael.

2:19 Adam All right. Good enough. When you don't know the last name, just say Michael.

2:22 Drew Michael.

2:23 Adam Even sounds like you know him better. Mike.

2:25 Drew Mike. Yeah, Mike. Cat. Niren.

2:28 Adam Michael something. He's a talented illustrator. He just takes bits of the show at random once he decides he likes, that are a couple of minutes long, and then illustrates them as he imagines they might look or act out or whatever it is. He's done two so far. He's done Chief Thunder Bear, and he's done Grand Theft Submarine.

2:49 Drew Yes.

2:50 Adam And I don't know. I think you can find him on the Loveline companion website. I don't know how you, how do you get there? I don't know. What do you do, Drew?

2:58 Drew Michael Niren. That's his name.

2:59 Adam Okay.

2:59 Drew lovelinecompanion.com, is it?

3:01 Adam That's how you get it?

3:03 Drew No, Chris can tell. Chris can tell. Look up Loveline companion on Google. Yeah, Google or Yahoo.

3:06 Adam All right. The point is, is they're very funny cartoons. And he just illustrated a idea I had when I went to some car show in Pebble Beach. And I don't want to give it away. But the point is, is you can go see it and enjoy it. But it never ended because I didn't know he was illustrating it.

3:24 Drew We were just rambling. We were just as usual.

3:26 Adam Drew's usually bored, wants me to go back to the phones and everyone else around here was wants me to take calls. And I didn't have an ending to this movie. But the movie, by the way, Drew, which originally was called Subterranean Parking.

3:40 Drew That's your name for it?

3:41 Adam Subterranean Parking. Oh, dude. Like Submarine.

3:44 Drew Very funny.

3:45 Adam The movie, originally, the idea is the guy who was Steven Seagal type, decorated green beret. He was green beret, special forces, and he was a SEAL team commander.

3:59 Drew And Trummed out of the service.

4:00 Adam Trummed out of the service for taking a swing at a commanding officer because they left some men behind. Right. Now busted down, and this wasn't illustrated in the cartoon, busted down to the sort of general's chauffeur.

4:17 Drew Oh, is that how that went?

4:18 Adam That's the thing, yeah. He's still in. He just got busted down to Oh, interesting. to this rank, and he's going to ride out his next few years.

4:27 Drew The general must have just been showing one of his cars at the car show, and he asked him as a favor.

4:32 Adam That's what happened. Yeah, that's what he was in, until they'd commandeered the Soviet sub and the one that stayed in the car.

4:39 Drew Nose open.

4:40 Adam Cone open. Cone. All right. But as you watched it, you went, wow, hey.

4:46 Drew Yeah, I was seeing the ending.

4:48 Adam I'll try to hash out the ending to this.

4:50 Drew All right, so maybe tonight?

4:51 Adam Yeah, maybe tonight, but you got to remind me.

4:53 Drew The other thing is, I'll try to remind you. The other thing is, as much as you abuse me if you want to take the calls, you kind of miss the calls, don't you?

5:01 Adam Do, yeah, and miss the people. I got to say, I hate work. Usually going back to work has hit my stomach. It feels like a Sunday night, like going back to school when I was in the ninth grade, but not Loveline.

5:18 Drew I actually was getting, I got a little depressed in the middle of last week because I didn't have my, my structure was all off. I was always screwed up.

5:24 Adam Yeah, and you feel, I don't know, you know what it feels like? It feels like, you know, when you go 10 days, two weeks, you don't work out and eat a lot, and you're sort of happy that, that's nice. I get to relax and eat, but you sort of feel sloppy and weird. And you feel like maybe I'm losing my edge or something, or I'm getting soft, or I shouldn't be doing this. I should be doing more of that. I don't feel, I don't feel lean and mean.

5:48 Drew Right, you don't feel connected or something. You don't feel...

5:51 Adam Yeah, you feel bad. It feels good, cause you just ate a whole pack of, you know, a box of macaroons. And you're now on the, you know, you've worked your way up to season three of The Sopranos on DVD. Ain't going anywhere. But on the other hand, this party feels a little guilty, feels a little soft. That's what it's like with this show.

6:09 Drew The other thing I found too, is I sort of feel like I do when I'm away from my family for a few days, strangely enough. It's like I miss, I miss, a sense of loss.

6:15 Adam Right, too bad they don't have that. Lindsay?

6:18 Drew After all they're missing me.

6:19 Yeah, hi.

6:20 Adam You're 18? I know.

6:22 Drew That's the point, they don't feel the same.

6:23 Adam That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

6:25 Drew What's up, Lindsay?

6:26 Adam Drew, what are you saying? Are you saying exactly what I said?

6:28 Drew I'm repeating what you're saying.

6:30 Adam Go ahead, Lindsay.

6:31 Hi, okay. I'm 18 and I'm still a virgin. Is that wrong?

6:37 Drew No, no.

6:38 Adam No.

6:38 Drew Good job, well done.

6:39 It's good.

6:39 Drew It's a healthy sign.

6:40 No, no. I was wondering, like, how long should I wait? I have a boyfriend and I'm out of high school, so it's really sad and oh, man.

6:52 Adam Hold on, how have you?

6:52 Drew Whoa, whoa, whoa, what was that? There were two different reactions there. Why is it sad?

6:56 Why is it sad?

6:57 Adam She's out of high school.

6:59 What?

6:59 Adam She's an adult, she's out of high school.

7:01 Drew Well, but the guy's certainly willing.

7:03 I'm out of high school.

7:06 Drew Yeah, but why is it sad? Hold on, let me tie that in.

7:10 Adam It's sad because she feels like she's a woman now and she's not gotten laid yet.

7:15 Drew Is that true?

7:16 Adam Of course it's true.

7:17 Drew Is that true, Lindsey?

7:19 That's so true, thank you, Adam.

7:20 Drew Okay, and then you had another reaction, you went, oh man, like something hurt. What hurts?

7:25 Oh no, I'm a little...

7:27 Adam Drew, how about you be right 3% of the time in the New Year?

7:31 Drew I'm not trying to tell...

7:32 Let's pump it up from.7.

7:34 Drew I am curious what she's experiencing. I'm not gonna tell her what...

7:37 Adam This time, 3 years from now, we'll be at 5%.

7:39 Drew Alright, what was she talking about at the end of her conversation? There's all disappointment out of her.

7:43 Adam That's just her cadence. That's her way of speaking.

7:45 Drew Alright, that may be. Wrong call.

7:48 Adam Alright, Lindsay. Lindsay.

7:50 Yeah.

7:51 Adam Alright, now don't listen to Drew. Listen to me. How long have you been with your boyfriend?

7:57 Um, like 8 months.

8:00 Adam 8 months.

8:01 Yeah.

8:01 Adam What's the furthest you've gotten with him?

8:03 Everything.

8:06 Adam Oral sex? Oh yeah. Oral sex?

8:09 Yeah. Hell yeah.

8:11 Adam Hell yeah. Let me ask you a delicate question.

8:14 Okay.

8:15 Adam Have you guys 69'd?

8:18 Yes.

8:20 Drew Adam, where did you go to finishing school?

8:22 Adam Geneva. Yeah, alright. You've done the 69. We might as well have intercourse.

8:26 Drew Yeah, Lindsay. Have you been the one holding back on intercourse or has he been sort of... Don't put her on hold.

8:34 Adam It's her.

8:35 Drew Alright. But why?

8:37 Why?

8:37 Adam Ah, whatever.

8:38 Just have sex.

8:40 Adam Drew, you walk in on your daughter. Sex or 69? Sex. Sex, right? Yeah. Lindsay?

8:49 Yeah.

8:49 Drew Why have you been holding out?

8:52 I don't know. It's just like, I don't know if I want to do it. I don't know if I don't. You know, it's just weird.

8:57 Drew Is it because you're not sure this is the right guy?

9:01 No, I do love him. I don't know. It's just like, I want more opinions. And it's just weird, like, why is there a...

9:09 Drew My opinion, my opinion, Adam's opinion is you just go right ahead. My opinion is you go ahead when you're clear it's what you want to do.

9:16 Adam I don't know if you can keep your daughter out of this, but let's just say wife. You walk in on her. She's having sex with another man.

9:23 Drew Just we've been like, we've been together now.

9:26 I know eight minutes, eight minutes already.

9:28 Adam I want to include myself in this scenario. All right. Now, I think you're going to walk it. You come home early from work and you walk in on your wife. She's cheating on you. She's with she's with the gardener. All right. Just straight missionary. That's better than 69, right? You'd rather see her just straight missionary than 69.

9:54 Drew Yeah.

9:54 Adam Yeah.

9:54 Drew Okay. I really can't differentiate. I got to tell you.

9:58 Adam Well, I think you can because I'm going to keep going. Her on top versus, you know, like Count Girl.

10:04 Drew That's worse.

10:05 Adam Worse than missionary, but worse than 69. I don't know. 69 sort of more deviant. You know what I mean? Like, it's one thing, like, if she's just on top, maybe she's just trying to have an orgasm. 69, she sent a message to you. You know what I mean? It's like when someone kills themselves with a shotgun.

10:24 Drew No, because I think-

10:25 Adam They're trying to send a message to their parents.

10:27 Drew You may be right, but I've sort of adopted some of the attitudes that some of these young people have. It's like, oh, it's just oral sex.

10:31 Adam Just oral.

10:33 Drew I mean, strangely, they're able to maintain that. I'm surprised that I have that same feeling.

10:37 Adam All right, well, now we're going back to missionary. Just a missionary over 69?

10:47 Drew I find it so disturbing.

10:48 Adam He's got the rake leaning on the side of the bed. He actually brought the leaf blower into the room. He's got that big brim straw hat on. Yeah. I would go missionary over 69.

11:02 Drew Yeah, I would.

11:03 Adam Yeah. But you say not cowgirl.

11:06 Drew No.

11:06 Adam Not on top. Okay. All right.

11:11 Drew Oh, my God.

11:12 Adam Let me pose that question to engineer Chris. If you walked in and some guy was with your DVD cassette or your DVD porn. Dude, I'd be pissed. You'd be pissed. All right. All right. We're going to get you a girlfriend for the new year. You know that? Okay, cool. That's my plan. I'm not going to do anything about it, but it's my plan. You ready, Drew?

11:32 Yeah.

11:33 Adam Josh?

11:34 Yes.

11:35 Adam You're 19?

11:36 Caller Yes, I am.

11:37 Adam What's up?

11:40 Caller Well, I'm 19 and I'm having problems with women. I figured out that most teenage girls like those for the jerks instead of for the romantic guys.

11:55 Drew Yeah, this is what nice guys convince themselves.

11:58 Adam You call yourself romantic, she calls you spastic.

12:01 Drew Or boring.

12:02 Adam Rose spastic. No, not, it's not even boring.

12:06 Drew Well, he's particularly.

12:08 Adam It's, he's a spaz. Josh? You're virgin?

12:11 Caller Yep.

12:12 Adam Shocking. What are you into?

12:15 Caller I'm into TV production and meteorology.

12:18 Adam Meteorology, wow. Chicks love meteorology. They hear about like a cumulus cloud or a weather front coming and pow, panties. Wetter than my driveway tonight. Yeah. Right, Josh.

12:33 Caller When you do your bit.

12:35 Adam Josh, oh, you like, you like when I do the weather?

12:37 Caller Yes, I do.

12:38 Adam Wow. I may be giving out some weather than tonight for you. Hey, Josh, here's the thing. If you're into, let me explain how this works. Drew, stop me if I'm wrong. It's a new year. We've got to give you tips. Here's how life works in general. This is this is general philosophy stuff, but it pertains to almost every facet of life, which is here we go. Which is, you can go for the quick buck, you can go for the easy buck, or you can put it off and really get a nice payday.

13:05 Drew Right, with delayed gratification.

13:07 Adam Delayed gratification. And if you're one of these people that does the delayed gratification route, you will be more successful, you'll be happier, you'll get more of all the things you want, but you don't seem to get it when you want it or as early as you want it. But there will be a payday. And...

13:26 Drew It's true of almost everything.

13:27 Adam Almost everything.

13:28 Drew Yes.

13:29 Adam And the guys that do the best in high school, the guys do the best when they're 19 and 20, seem to do the worst later on, or at least never quite have that payday. As a guy, so much of your number is about your income, not just your income.

13:46 Drew Well, tell me what you mean by number, your sort of attraction rating.

13:49 Adam Right. Yeah. Here's the other thing. Here's the other thing too with guys. Women rarely get better than what they are at 19 or 20. Guys vary greatly. Most guys don't start coming into their own until their early thirties, for Christ's sake. There's a handful of guys that are sort of peaking in high school, but not too many. Most guys are still sort of kids almost at 19. Big Adam's apple or bad skin or whatever it is. They're sort of not grown into their bodies, whereas women 18, 19, 12, 13, that's it. Doesn't get any better than that. So as a guy, and you're kind of like Josh, okay, you're going to college, you're getting grades, blah, blah, blah. There will be a payday. You will get a good job with your college degree. You will start making some money. You'll afford a decent haircut. You'll get a nice personal trainer. Next thing you know, you got a cool car, a cool bachelor pad, you got a decent gig, and you start, now here's who you'll start collecting. You'll start collecting the hot chicks who are tired of dating the flaky guys who are alcoholics and abusive and the a-holes and those guys. They get burnt out on those guys somewhere in their mid-20s and now they start looking for a guy like you. Yes?

15:01 Drew Yes, that's true.

15:02 Adam All right.

15:03 Drew So he'll have his day. He'll have his day. The idea that they're into the jerks and not the nice guys is not exactly accurate.

15:09 Adam No, and it's unfair. Well, I shouldn't say it's not unfair to the jerks. You're being too kind to yourself.

15:16 Drew Yeah.

15:17 Adam It's like, wow, I'm a nice guy. I'm a romantic guy. I'm an old fashioned guy. This guy's a jerk. No, no, no. You are, you're first off, you're like a puppy, like a teenage puppy kind of thing. You're awkward.

15:32 Drew You're also needy.

15:33 Adam You're a little needy. You're a little clingy and you're a little spazzy. And chicks freak out over needy, clingy and spazzy.

15:40 Caller And the jerk guys, and all the other four are the dwarfs too. Yeah.

15:43 Adam And the jerk guys aren't all just jerks across the board. They're a lot more confident. They're sort of quietly confident.

15:49 Drew And they may be dismissive of the women. You might see, you might perceive it as them sort of not caring about them or not being sort of as attentive as you would be. That's not how the young ladies are experiencing it. They're experiencing it as somebody confident that I want to attach my caboose to.

16:03 Adam And they're not necessarily jerks. They're just treating 18-year-old chicks the way they know to be most effective with 18-year-old chicks.

16:12 Drew And by the way, how you'll treat people too when you're 31.

16:15 Adam Right. And you got the sports car.

16:16 Drew Yeah.

16:19 Adam Yeah, it is.

16:20 Caller All right. All right.

16:21 Adam Josh. First off, you need to change your name to Drake. Okay.

16:27 Drew Or just Joshua.

16:28 Adam And where are you going?

16:29 Drew Joshua would work, wouldn't it?

16:30 Adam No. Yeah. Where are you going to college?

16:34 Caller junior College.

16:36 Drew I had a junior College in Washington, DC.

16:38 Adam Wow. And you get to study meteorology at a junior college?

16:43 Caller Yep.

16:44 Adam Yeah. You know what they do, though? They just everyone just here's the weather page from the USA Today. Everyone look at it. All right. Fifty five minutes up. Go to your next class.

16:53 Drew Can't you? There's so many good schools around there. American or George Washington or GU. Well, come on Georgetown. Come on, Josh.

17:02 Caller I go to Montgomery College.

17:04 Adam OK. Well, let me let me explain something, Josh, on the spaz, on the topic of being a spaz. If you're going to be a spaz, you want to be a Bill Gates type of spaz. So you can own, you know, seven million acres in Seattle.

17:18 Drew Let me get this right. You want to be a Bill Gates spaz, not a hacky sack spaz.

17:21 Adam Well, that's stoner.

17:23 Drew Well, or junior college.

17:24 Adam Well, here's what I'm saying. Yeah. If you're nerdy and spastic and you're going to junior college, then you ain't getting anything. You're missing it all.

17:34 Drew So in other words, sort of get into your nerddom. Live up to it.

17:38 Adam Go to MIT and be a nerd. Nerd with it. There'll be a payday for these guys.

17:44 Drew Be a real nerd.

17:45 Adam Be a real nerd and then have your day in the sun.

17:49 Caller You've got the worst of both worlds there.

17:51 Drew I was talking at Caltech and I said, I was talking about something, some interesting science, I thought, and I said, I'm such a nerd because, and I got like a standing ovation.

18:00 Adam Oh yeah.

18:00 Drew It's like, yes, another one.

18:02 Adam Yeah, yeah. All right, so Josh, get yourself out of that junior college. That should be everyone's New Year's rezo. Aaron?

18:09 Caller Hi guys. Happy New Year.

18:11 Adam Hey Aaron, what's happening? What can we do you for?

18:14 Caller Hey, I was hit in the penis and scrotum by a soccer ball a week and a half ago.

18:21 Drew Do tell.

18:22 Caller Since then, I haven't been able to get a decent erection.

18:26 Drew Did you get any swelling in the scrotum?

18:28 Caller Yeah, instantly.

18:30 Drew Is it still swollen?

18:32 Caller No, it went down after a couple days.

18:35 Drew That should still be looked up by a urologist. You can actually kill off your testy that way.

18:40 Caller Really?

18:40 Drew You can fracture it. Yeah, you got some real problems with it.

18:42 Adam What happened? Penalty kick?

18:44 Caller No, I just came forward to mark him and I thought he was going to kick it around me and he just right on the tip.

18:52 Adam Wow.

18:53 Caller Yeah, bad times.

18:54 Adam Do you wear a cup?

18:55 Caller Not during soccer, Adam.

18:57 Adam They don't wear cup in soccer, huh? No, no. Seemed like, I know, they don't wear them in football anymore either. They don't wear them in anything anymore.

19:05 Not in football?

19:06 Adam The Cup Manufacturing Society of America must be... Oh no, they don't wear cups.

19:11 What?

19:12 Adam I was surprised too. You know about the only guys who wear cups anymore are baseball catchers, maybe like boxers, although they have a little foul project there. Hockey guys must wear cups. Football guys don't wear cups.

19:28 What?

19:29 Adam I don't know.

19:29 Drew Why not?

19:31 Adam Everything, I think everything has to do with movement or perceived impediment of movement. And if you're, you know, if you're wearing one extra thing to slow you down, you're going to slow you down a tenth of a second.

19:43 Drew And the lime is not going to work out?

19:45 Adam They don't. I've asked them a thousand times. They don't do it. I don't know how it works. Weird. Aaron?

19:53 Caller Yeah.

19:54 Drew So Aaron, you there?

19:55 Adam Yeah, I'm here. All right. I'm not with that soccer anyway.

20:00 Drew The trauma to the penis and or the testicle can cause problems with erection for quite a while. The problem is that sometimes you can fracture the cavernous body within the penis. And that's a real sort of a surgical problem, as is the case with a severe blow to the, you'll excuse the expression, to the testes. That can, you know, that can be a problem. That you can kill the test, you can fracture it, you can have bleeding problems. It's something that needs to be looked at by urologists. You're probably going to be okay. The fact that the swelling went down, but that's something you don't want to screw around with.

20:30 Adam Yeah. Did you go to the Rose Parade?

20:32 Drew Yeah.

20:33 Adam Drew goes to the Rose Parade every year. He lives in Pasadena, walks with your parents.

20:39 Drew Are you parents? We live actually closer to the corner of Orange Grove and Colorado than my parents. Yeah, so I walk from home.

20:44 Adam You walk down there. And what, oh, yeah. What time do you go down there? Like, you go down at six in the morning, five in the morning?

20:51 Caller We got seats.

20:52 Adam How do you get seats? In the grandstands?

20:53 Drew You know Scott Peterson's attorney?

20:57 Caller Yeah.

20:57 Drew Mark Garagos. He's a friend of mine.

20:59 Adam And he has seats?

21:00 Drew He had a bunch of seats. He gave us some.

21:02 Adam In the grandstand?

21:03 Drew Right there at the corner, the greatest.

21:05 Adam In the grandstands?

21:05 Drew Yes, in the grandstands, on the course. Well, that's all there is at the corner of California Grove is grandstands.

21:10 Adam All right. But that's the only seats they have, right? Are grandstand seats?

21:13 Drew Yes, yes.

21:13 Adam And other than that, you just camp along the parade route?

21:16 Drew You just sort of squeeze your butt in there where you can.

21:18 Adam And how long, what time does this thing start?

21:21 Drew It starts at 8. I go to see the flyby of the B-2. It is spectacular.

21:25 Adam That's awesome. I'm telling you something, I would love to see that.

21:28 Drew Adam, it takes your breath away.

21:31 Adam I would love to see that Stealth Bomber fly over. But that flies by and then that's over in three seconds. And then you sit and suck it up for two hours. And is it two hour parades at 8 to 10 a.m.? It seems like it goes on for like 14 hours or something.

21:50 Drew That's what it seems like. But it might be more like two and a half, I think.

21:52 Adam Then you see any horses crap or anything good?

21:54 Drew Lots of horses crap and the little ladies come on and sweep it up.

21:56 Adam Really?

21:57 Drew They get a big applause every time.

21:58 Adam Anyone crash anything or do anything?

22:00 Drew Crashing is nothing really out of the ordinary, no. It's just sort of boring sitting there, might freeze my ass off.

22:05 Adam But it didn't rain.

22:06 Drew Didn't rain, never rained.

22:08 Adam It's been like 51 or 52 straight years since it's rained on that day.

22:13 Drew And rained the night before.

22:16 Adam The night before and the night before that.

22:18 Drew And the evening of.

22:20 Adam Yeah.

22:20 Drew The same evening.

22:21 Adam That's right. It's just, it's been, it's incredible. I mean it's really, and the reason I don't like it is for all the people around the country who watched the parade, they're frozen, they're sitting on a block of ice in Wisconsin. And it's like, we're going out there. That's where we're heading. And if we could just put together a couple of bad days.

22:42 Drew I know, we're getting cocky about it too. It was raining the night before. We're like, don't worry, it'll be clear tomorrow. No problem. It will be clear tomorrow. Oh yeah, you're right.

22:48 Adam You know what we ought to do?

22:49 Drew Rose Bowl, great game.

22:50 Adam Yeah, LA is.

22:51 Drew Did you watch the Rose Bowl?

22:52 Adam Yeah, LA is just a pack full of idiots from other parts of the country and the world who can't drive. And it just keeps, each year gets more crowded and I get from point A to point B much slarked. Here's what we need to do on this Rose Parade. And I'm trying to think, there's probably a handful of other events. Start staging some mock like gang violence and stuff like that because people freak out. No, here's what we do.

23:17 Drew First of all, just graffiti on the Pasadena Art Museum. On the Norton Simon Museum.

23:20 Adam Graffiti would be nice.

23:21 Drew They just, just an overnight graffiti event.

23:23 Adam I'm talking about actually staging something like what they would do at Knott's Berry Farm at one of those Wild West shows or something like that. A couple of Cholo guys come out and red bandanas. You know, these are guns. They have the blood pellets and everything. And just, oh my God, tragedy. And you just do it for a couple of years before you know it. No, but people are fleeing. We're the only ones left. Yeah?

23:46 Drew Yeah, unfortunately, the real thing doesn't do that. I'm not sure an acted out version is gonna do it.

23:52 Adam Well, I'm just saying it's not depicted on that day. That's why we need to do it.

23:57 Drew We'll keep people away. We'll make people flee. We'll keep them out.

24:00 Adam It'll keep people out.

24:01 Drew Yeah.

24:01 Adam Right. All right. Let's take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Amber. Boyfriend cheated on her and she dumped him. She's really sad about it. Oh man. Speaking of cheated on, I had a conversation with my grandmother this weekend.

24:18 Caller Uh-oh.

24:19 Drew About what?

24:21 Adam She's doing a little cheatin on her grandpa.

24:24 Drew Okay. After the break, I got to hear about this.

24:27 Adam Yeah.

24:28 Drew Oh no.

24:29 Adam Yeah. Very uncomfortable.

24:31 Oh my God.

24:32 Adam Almost didn't masturbate that afternoon. Almost. This close. This close, true.

24:39 Drew Oh my God.

24:40 Caller Yeah.

24:41 Adam This close.

24:42 Caller Wow. Wow. All right.

24:43 Adam Let's take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline, the real Loveline, the live Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Good to be back for number 1-800-LOVE-191-er.

25:21 Drew So what'd your grandma say? What'd she say?

25:24 Adam I wanted to visit my grandma. Yesterday.

25:27 Caller Oh, here we go.

25:30 Adam And my grandma's told me a couple of things over the years that have been a little difficult on me, emotionally.

25:36 Drew My grandma told you that she knew what a rim job was?

25:39 Caller No.

25:40 Adam She wanted to know if I knew what a rim job was. She didn't, she had not heard what a rim job was until earlier that day.

25:50 Drew That's a rim shot, Anderson.

25:52 Adam She one time wanted to tell me that I should be careful about masturbating and putting a belt around my neck, you know.

26:00 Caller You should be careful about that. When you do that, you should be careful.

26:02 Adam Well, I shouldn't be doing it.

26:04 Drew Oh, okay.

26:04 Adam You know what I mean? None of that autorotic fixation. You should listen to her.

26:08 Drew Why should you?

26:09 Adam Well, I looked at that as a dare, a challenge. Yeah. I wasn't doing it until now, but now I'm going to belt and suspenders around my neck. And not just the regular suspenders, the morque kind, the rainbow ones with the finger pointing, you know, buttons. This is another time after my grandfather passed away, she said, well, I look around the house and everything reminds me of him. And listen, let me tell you something, when you're when you're Corolla, everything will always remind you of everything because no one's bought a new goddamn stick of furniture, a new coat, a new anything. No one throws anything out or buys anything new. So yes, people will remember you. You look around a Corolla house, you'll remember the Corollas that came over on a wagon train because it's the same goddamn sofa. Right. You never throw anything out. Of course, everything's going to remind you of the person.

27:02 Drew Jeremiah and Hezekiah Corolla.

27:04 Adam That's right. You see that black powder rifle? Yeah, that reminds me of your great, great, great. Yeah, you never toss anything or buy anything.

27:16 Drew Here we go. So anyway, and so the vaginal lubricant, as I recall, is what reminded her of us.

27:20 Adam Yeah, she said, you know, the overcoats in the closet, his hat's hanging on the rack and the vag lube is in the bathroom. This time started telling me about-

27:31 Drew How did it start? Why? Why in the world?

27:36 Adam How did it start? It's hard to tell where anything goes. When you talk to my grandma, you sit there and she talks.

27:42 Drew Well, so she said, it sounds like she had an agenda. She was going to let you know on this one.

27:46 Adam Yeah. Well, she first started talking about her old communist friends, and I started piping up about what's wrong with these people, and she started getting really weird and angry and defensive. I said, look, how smart can you be to back this governmental style that just seems mathematically like it's never going to work? I mean, didn't these people? She just got ballistic and went nutty, so we let that one go. And unfortunately, moved to a more unfortunate topic, which was my grandpa and how they'd known each other for a couple of years, and she married him to keep him in the country. But things weren't moving along the way she wanted. So she got herself a little outside action. So in a way, it's cheating.

28:32 Drew But it's our theory that if a woman's not getting her emotional needs met, watch out. So get it met one way or another.

28:38 Adam He never said, I love you. He never really settled into what they needed.

28:45 Drew I could see a guy like that. After all, he only dedicated about 38 years to her and provided and took care of her grandkids.

28:51 Caller He's a fly-by-night guy, a flake.

28:54 Adam This is year number two, though.

28:56 Drew But of a guy who's incapable of committing, obviously, by his history.

28:59 Adam Not committing, but a little old world. Withdrawn, a little, not giving with the compliments or the love or the affection, you know? You go get it.

29:10 Drew The point is...

29:11 Adam Then you make sure he finds out. Yeah.

29:13 Drew The point is, this is a guy who was giving. Oh, that was stable, but she needed the chaos. That's my point.

29:19 Adam Yeah.

29:19 Drew Because the non-giving guy doesn't hang out for 38 years, doesn't break the grandson of bedwetting, I beg your pardon, doesn't make the goulash for everybody, doesn't take care of the family, doesn't the only one that has money and has a job.

29:31 Adam Yeah, that's true.

29:32 Drew He's the guy you got to give a little chaos to.

29:35 Adam But he didn't say, I love you. You know what I'm saying?

29:37 Drew Whatever he didn't do, it wasn't enough chaos. You know that's the deal.

29:40 Caller Listen, believe me, I know what's going on.

29:44 Adam I just hooked up with a dude for a while, shook things up, but then started getting into the part with why she was with the new dude. Sex.

29:52 Drew Yeah, what about it?

29:53 Adam Oh, man. Unbelievable. Never ended. 24 hours. Non-stop. I was like, well, speaking of sex, that's it for me. Hope you can enjoy it.

30:10 Drew We'll set this up. Your mom and grandma is, let's see, today's a Sunday, Sunday, Monday.

30:15 Adam 91.

30:15 Drew 94. Okay, 91.

30:17 Adam 91.

30:17 Drew 91.

30:18 Adam 91.

30:19 Drew And how did you end? How did you end? You just get up and leave.

30:24 Adam I just covered her in vomit. She wasn't able to speak anymore.

30:28 Drew Wait, you're just gonna hear her.

30:30 Adam Yeah.

30:30 Drew Be fair.

30:31 Adam Oh, yeah. Yep. He had a problem. He didn't ejaculate. Took him a long time.

30:38 Drew With the new guy? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah.

30:41 Adam Point went on for a while.

30:43 Caller Yeah.

30:44 Drew We have to talk about Vaginal Soreness.

30:46 Adam Disabled veteran, alcoholic, you know.

30:49 Drew It's chaos, you know what I'm saying?

30:50 Caller Ah, come on. All right.

30:52 Adam So that was a lovely, lovely conversation. New Year's conversation I had. All right.

30:57 Drew Hey, happy New Year.

30:58 Adam What's that noise I'm hearing, by the way?

31:01 Drew I don't know if it's gonna make me kill myself in a minute.

31:03 Adam Really?

31:03 Drew It sounds like a sound effect from Lost in Space.

31:08 Adam Sounds like somebody's watch alarm is going off. And I'm gonna blame that on either you or Chris. Actually, I'm going to leave it on Chris. You got nothing? Well, what do you think? He has a drop for Lost in Space?

31:22 Drew No, I'm just saying.

31:23 Adam Okay. You ready to go?

31:24 Yeah. Is it still there?

31:26 Drew Yeah.

31:27 Adam Yeah.

31:27 And Chris can't hear it?

31:29 Drew He can hear it too.

31:29 Adam He can't hear it. Yeah.

31:31 We'll break early and we'll just drop over there.

31:33 Adam Amber?

31:34 Yep.

31:34 Adam You're 28?

31:36 Caller I am.

31:38 Adam Hold on.

31:38 Drew I want to take my headphones off. Yeah, I want to take it off too.

31:40 Adam Take your headphones off and go find it. Hold on. No, it's not in the room. It's in the phones.

31:45 Drew It's the electronics.

31:45 Adam Oh, it just stopped.

31:47 Drew Yeah, it stopped.

31:48 Adam Well, that's weird because I took the headphones off and I put them back on and it was stopped.

31:53 Drew So could it have been in the room before?

31:54 Adam Could it have been the second you took the headphones off and it stopped?

31:56 Caller Could have been.

31:57 Drew We'll never know.

31:58 Adam Amber?

31:59 Caller Yep.

31:59 Drew Could be grandpa.

32:00 Caller Go ahead.

32:01 Drew Ring it in.

32:03 Adam Amber?

32:04 Drew He's not happy.

32:05 Adam You're 28?

32:06 Caller I am.

32:07 Caller Yeah.

32:07 Adam What's going on?

32:09 Caller Okay. So I was with my ex-boyfriend for two years and about six months ago, I caught him cheating on me, which was pretty much one of the most devastating things that's ever happened to me.

32:20 Adam What happened?

32:21 Caller We said caught him.

32:23 Caller I caught him, yes.

32:24 Drew What happened?

32:29 Caller I went to his house at six o'clock in the morning, one morning. I don't know how to explain it, but I woke up in the morning like someone had kicked me in the ass and I just knew that something was wrong. I hadn't been able to get a hold of him the night before and I thought maybe something had happened to him. I had no, I had no suspicion of him cheating on me at all.

32:50 Drew By the way, not being able to get a hold of some of yours going out with regularly is a reasonable.

32:54 Adam All right.

32:55 Caller I was just concerned that something had happened to him.

32:58 Adam Well, you may have also thought he was cheating, but that's fine. You went over there at 6 AM.

33:04 Caller What happened? Well, I didn't have the key to his building. I had the key to his door, but not to his building and so I rang the doorbell a couple of times and I called and I saw someone peek out of the blind, but then nobody came down and finally, he called me and was acting really strange and while he was on the phone with me, I was standing outside the building and I saw someone in the shower. I said, who's in the shower and he wouldn't tell me.

33:32 Adam In the shower?

33:34 Caller Yeah.

33:34 Adam Now, in the shower, taking the shower or in the shower hiding?

33:39 Caller No, it's taking the shower.

33:41 Drew Well, it's not the place you usually stick a window by the shower.

33:46 Adam It's usually, well, you can see.

33:49 Caller It's on the third floor.

33:50 Adam Yeah, it's like opaque, but you can see the shadow of somebody in there.

33:55 Caller Right.

33:55 Adam Yeah, but here's the thing that's interesting. It's six in the morning. She's taking a shower.

34:01 Drew She knows she's getting out of there.

34:02 Caller Yeah.

34:02 Drew She's not getting out while he stalls on the phone. These are stupid people, Adam.

34:06 Adam I know they're stupid people, but you're taking a shower. When you get the hair dryer going, you're grabbing your clothes and-

34:12 Drew Now she's going to get it together and get out.

34:14 Adam No, no, no, no.

34:17 Drew Listen, him not calling the night before, what kind of stupidity is that?

34:20 Adam Well, he was just drunk and cheating and he didn't want the chick he was with to know he had a girl.

34:25 Caller I know.

34:26 Adam Amber, I'm not done with the shower thing. Was she taking, Drew, quiet. Was she taking a shower because she just got up early, was taking a shower and was going to get out of there?

34:38 Drew When you showed up?

34:39 Adam When you showed up?

34:40 Caller I have no idea. I didn't. Had to be. I ran into her as she was leaving an hour later and she knew who I was. I had no idea who she was. And she told me that he had told her that we had an open relationship and that this is...

34:57 Drew She stops you in the hall and has this conversation as she's leaving?

35:01 Caller I was upstairs in the parking lot and then she was leaving and I saw her leaving. So I kind of went down to confront her and she told me that it had been going on for about three months.

35:14 Adam Was she good looking?

35:16 Caller She was cute, I guess. I didn't really pay too much attention. I was pretty freaked out. I mean, this is someone I thought I was going to marry.

35:24 Adam You know, it's one of the first things you notice, though.

35:26 Drew So what's up? We got to sort of look at Amber and why she would be attracted to an a-hole like this.

35:31 Adam Women get caught up with screwy guys.

35:33 Caller My concern at this point is that that whole kind of scenario haunts me pretty bad. I have pretty bad anxiety attacks about it. I'll wake up in the middle of the night. I can't let him or this situation go. And I don't feel like I'm...

35:51 Adam All right, Amber, you're a couple of good dates with a new guy away from getting past this.

35:57 Drew PTSD, history of trauma.

35:59 Adam Did your dad cheat? Did he abuse you? What happened?

36:02 Caller No, nothing.

36:04 Adam Nothing?

36:04 Caller No, I was a virgin till I was 22. I was very... But I mean, I was a bad girl before that. But I mean, that was something I couldn't have held on to. I had...

36:16 Drew Hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't get by with that kind of stuff. What if you're a bad girl but you're a virgin?

36:20 Caller How does that work?

36:23 Caller I had a lot of partners, but I never actually had intercourse.

36:29 Drew There's a lot of oral sex. Lots of oral sex. Then why were you acting out like that? What was that all about?

36:36 Caller Well, I mean, like I said, I was a virgin until I was 22.

36:38 Drew No, no, no. Amber, come on. You were acting out as a younger adolescent. Why? What was going on? What was all the depression or chaos? What was going on?

36:47 Caller Um, I, you know, I don't know. I have a very close family.

36:52 Caller Yeah, very close.

36:54 Adam Well, they have a very close family.

36:56 Drew mission suppressed possible.

36:58 Caller Whatever.

36:59 Adam Here's the thing. You broke up with this guy when you found out he was cheating. You did the right thing.

37:03 Drew That's it.

37:03 Adam That's fine. Your your your radar was a little off. Lots of young women are mid early 20s, later 20s have trouble. Sometimes they meet a guy and doesn't turn out to be the guy. But it's what they do after they find out he's not the guy they thought they were. And you did the right thing. You broke up. And of course you're a little depressed about it. Fine.

37:23 Drew And the post-traumatic stress is reasonable too.

37:25 Adam Yeah, go on a couple of decent dates. You'll be fine.

37:27 Drew It's like any other traumatic experience. You got to get back on the horse, so to speak, and get back out there.

37:32 Adam Right.

37:32 Drew Oh, well you're really working it up.

37:34 Adam I had a little something brewing tonight. We got to take a break, but let me talk to David. David?

37:41 Caller Yeah.

37:42 Adam You're 18?

37:43 Caller Yeah, I'm 18.

37:44 Drew Bogus.

37:44 Adam I don't believe it already. Liar.

37:49 Okay, my question was, I have a girlfriend that I've been with for a year. And she's pregnant right now. We found out in November.

37:59 Drew You found in November.

38:00 Right.

38:01 Drew So how far along is she?

38:03 Well, right now, it's three months or so. All right. We just found her in November, so it's right now. It's going to be January. And the question was, I wasn't sure what to do because she doesn't want to tell her mom and she doesn't want me to tell my parents. But it's like, in a sense, she doesn't want to admit it, you know, she's pregnant. Right. She's not really like that mature. Well, at least not as mature as me. So she doesn't exactly like exactly like I don't know. She doesn't want to admit it. Like I admit it.

38:33 Drew Yeah, I understand. She's in denial about it.

38:35 Adam Hold on a second. David's mature. I picture David like with a like a burnt orange turtleneck and a tweed jacket and a candy sniffer, sniffed her in a pipe.

38:47 Caller And he's just sitting there high back, I'll be lecturing at Oxford on the philosophy of Hegel in about 10 years. And he answers everything with quite.

38:57 Adam All right. QED. Hold on, David. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll see if we can sort out the 17 year old girlfriend pregnancy and the dilemma. All that after this.

39:09 Caller If you need help, hang up and then dial, dial.

39:13 1-800-1-9-1.

39:15 Caller Loveline will be right back.

39:30 Adam Hey, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number. And the reason I give you the phone number is because this is not the Best Of. This is the actual show.

39:40 Drew Apparently we have a little shortage on calls tonight. People didn't even start calling.

39:45 Adam What is the phone number? 1-800-LOVE?

39:47 Drew 191.

39:48 Adam 191, yeah.

39:49 Drew The problem is I bet you half the country's not even hearing us tonight. They're still hearing Best Of. So that's why we're not getting the usual.

40:00 Adam I just opened one of Producer Ann's gifts, which is this like old school Atari flashback video game that you kiddies don't know about because you're too young. But let me tell you why I'm excited about this gift. I'm too stupid for the new video games.

40:17 Drew Yes, but pong is something you can handle.

40:20 Adam Yeah, but if it's just not against somebody else, only if it's just against the backstop. I got to tell you, I'm not into video games at all. To me, video games are like, it's like heroin, like people go, you got to play grand, you've got to get into. It's like you got to get into rotisserie football, you've got to get into this fantasy. I've got to, I watched 23 hours of TiVo a day already. I need something else to occupy my time where I don't make money and it's just some sort of whimsical fantasy. No way. Are you kidding?

40:54 Drew Yeah, you need less.

40:55 Adam I need less.

40:55 Drew You need to have restrictions on TiVo.

40:56 Adam The last thing I want to do is discover some video game and become hooked on it. But I did buy the, and it's tough because they give me the Xbox or whatever. Anyone who's in the radio, whatever, they'll just give you some swag every once in a while. You do one of these Teen Choice things or something, they give you an Xbox. I got it and I started seeing a commercial for the Pearl Harbor. And boy, they were doing it like a year ago where the guy's up on the deck and he's got the.50 caliber and the Japs are coming in on the zeros and he's spraying them with the.50 caliber and the next thing you know he's in the water, the ship blows up and I thought, wow, now this is going to be exciting because nothing I like better than shooting down zeros. So I got the game. Sucked? And no, no, here's the comedy. I get the game and my stoner buddy, the Weas is like, you got to get a memory card with that. And I said, why do I need a memory card? Well, because you get to start from where you. I don't listen. But I don't need any memory card. I just want the game. So I buy the game. Now, the game starts with you three decks below the top side in your bunk, in your sleeping. And the Japs hit Pearl Harbor. And you wake up in your bunk and people are panicking and there's fire. I can't get out of the goddamn deck. I can't get top side. And so I run around in a circle for 20 minutes and I bang into crap. And then I get out into the hall. And then I try to go up some staircase into a door that's locked. And then I catch on fire. And then I restart and I'm back in my bunk again. I sat there for three hours trying to get out of the bunk. It never got to the... No 50 caliber machine. I never saw one airplane, no jab zeros, no nothing. No falling into the water, no explosions, nothing. I'm in a bunk. Can't get out of the bunk. That's the deal. Nice. And I'm saying to my buddy, who knows these things, well just, all right, let's just skip ahead, like it's a DVD. Like I'm gonna skip ahead to the part where I'm actually topside with the machine gun. This is why I bought the... Now you can't do that. Well, I can if I just admit I'm a puss and just move forward. No, no. Well, can I stop? It took me... Now it took me 15 minutes to get to the point where the door wouldn't open and then I'm back at the bunk again. He's like, that's why you need the memory card.

43:25 Drew Right.

43:25 Adam Because you can start from there.

43:27 Drew Yeah.

43:28 Adam Well, I know, but I thought, well, can I just skip the, you know, deck level C or the next plan or the...

43:34 Drew Well, they have cheap books.

43:37 Adam I know, but I'm like, I don't want to go on the Internet. Just get me to the next thing. No, you'll not be going there. So the one game that I got, the one game I was excited about, I sat and played for three hours. I could not make it out of this burning deck level C thing. You know, I run out in the hall. You know me, I start getting angry. Tears like, I go to the one door, it's clogged up. I go to the next door, there's a piece of debris in front of it. He couldn't figure out how to get out. Neither one of us could figure out, never saw the light of day. Now, I'm just at the bottom of the Arizona in Pearl Harbor.

44:10 Drew Nice.

44:10 Adam Just a bunch of fat tourists over me. Yeah. Watery grave.

44:16 Drew Nice.

44:16 Adam David Jones' Locker. That's where I am, right in his locker. I got the locker part figured out, right?

44:24 Drew Who is David Jones?

44:26 Adam Well, David Jones had, it's an English name, right? Had to be a sailor.

44:30 Drew Should I go look it up?

44:31 Adam Yeah.

44:31 Drew Through the break.

44:32 Adam His locker had to be his foot locker.

44:34 Drew Yeah.

44:34 Adam So it's like a casket.

44:36 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

44:36 Adam All right. All right. You ready to go?

44:39 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

44:40 Adam All right. Yeah.

44:40 Drew So back to David and his pregnant girlfriend.

44:42 Adam David Jones' Locker.

44:44 Drew He's the immature 18-year-old and she's the immature 17-year-old in denial. Three months pregnant. Does she have any, has she been even able to talk to about what is she wants to do with this pregnancy?

44:54 Not really. The only thing we got established is that she doesn't want to have an abortion. I mean, she wants to keep it. She just hasn't talked about it like anything.

45:02 Drew Well, she's got it. Then you might as well tell your parents then because they're going to find out soon enough. Perhaps you ought to take her down somewhere where she gets, well, absolutely. You need to take her somewhere where she gets some prenatal counseling because she's going to have this child. And God, hopefully, she will be willing to give this child up for adoption to some parents that are really prepared to take care of a child.

45:19 Adam How about adoption?

45:22 Well, I mean, my idea was to keep the kid and just, I mean, I have a job right now and I'm saving up as much money as possible because of that. I was already saving up before, but now I have like two jobs, one in the morning, one at night, and now I just want it.

45:37 Adam Where do you work? What kind of work?

45:39 I work at a doughnut place and I will also work doing deliveries.

45:44 Adam All right. Yeah.

45:45 All right.

45:45 Adam So you're making nothing and nothing and saving some money up. All right. Here's the thing. You want to keep the kid. That's fine. You got to make sure and put holes in the jar, in the in the lid. Yeah, they got to breathe. Yeah. Yeah. That's just kind of what it sounds like to me. Yeah. There's really. All right. I'm going to go to play in parenthood with her, sit down with the counselor, see what the plan can be.

46:10 Drew If she's really three months in, it's too late for an abortion anyway, so she's going to have this child.

46:14 Adam Not in my world.

46:15 Drew I know guys will do that. Let's make sure the child comes in the world safely. She'll need some prenatal vitamins, some iron supplementation, and some careful follow up.

46:24 Adam All right. And no problem as far as the society goes with this going on. Nothing we can say, nothing we can do. No.

46:32 Drew Perfectly normal, perfectly natural.

46:34 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, Drew, is HPV? Isn't HPV? And then there's Never Can Be Faithful. Ah, Allison. Cheating. 24?

46:48 Drew Hot?

46:48 Adam Cheats. Allison, are you hot?

46:52 I think I'm all right. I don't get any...

46:53 Adam All right.

46:54 Caller Good boy.

46:56 Adam Hard to hear her through the lamp shade. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back with the drunken and hot Allison after this.

47:03 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

47:05 You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

47:08 Drew One call is all you need to make.

47:10 Call the Dateline.

47:11 877-889-DATE.

47:43 Adam Get it on, baby. Gotta get it on, especially in Aught 5. 2005, Drew.

47:52 Drew Wild.

47:53 Adam Yeah. 2005, by the way, is well into 2000. And I just figured every door would be like an aperture, like a camera.

48:04 Drew No more hinges.

48:05 Adam Oh, but I'd be hover crafts everywhere. Yeah. Everyone would be wearing-

48:10 Drew We'd be flying, yeah, we'd be flying. No more fashion, we'd all wear a jumpsuit.

48:13 Adam Great jumpsuits. We'd be wearing great jumpsuits and we'd be eating our meals in small pill form. By the way, did they really think that was ever going to pass? Like all these futuristic films, as some time, somehow people got bored of eating. You know what I mean? Like, you think we're going to do away with this anytime soon, the whole part where you sit down with a rack of ribs?

48:34 Drew I think that was part of the fantasy about the future is that we were going to be separated from our biological needs. Our basic, our of these basic biological systems. Yeah, no, no, that's, we'll have no more of that.

48:46 Adam Yeah, there'll be no murder, there'll be no intercourse, there'll be no fashion.

48:49 Drew There'll be no leaders, there'll be no fashion, there'll be no desire.

48:52 Adam Right. Vanity, it's all gone. All gone. Everyone wears a gray jumpsuit. There's no denim anywhere.

48:58 Drew No aggression.

48:59 Adam No aggression and no denim. No hinges, no aggression, no denim, and no pork chops. Everything's just a little pill or you can get a little gray mush. And it wouldn't even be a, it wouldn't even be a normal color. It wouldn't be green or brown. It'd be gray.

49:13 Drew Strange enough that we went to, that's if you were an adolescent in the 1970s, if you were an adolescent in the 1990s, we went from that to it's only violence and aggression. And we lived in sort of a S-pile.

49:23 Adam Yeah.

49:23 Drew The sort of, right?

49:24 Adam And it was raining all the time.

49:27 Caller It was dark.

49:27 Drew Right.

49:28 Adam I'll tell you the one thing they did get right with the future stuff, which is coming, and they're a little behind it, but it's coming, is whenever you see these futuristic movies, especially movies like Blade Runner, advertising.

49:41 Caller Everywhere.

49:41 Adam Everywhere, up everything looks like Times Square. And the advertising thing, where it's now coming up on cab, hubcaps. Now you ever see the hubcaps on cabs have those sort of things. They keep them level all the time. It's advertising, showing up on fighters or painting Golden Palace on their back. I mean, if you think about advertising, that's the one part where it's like cars.

50:08 Caller Except in the future movies, cars being covered in the film.

50:10 Drew It's never in English. Some futuristic lettering.

50:14 Adam Yeah.

50:15 Caller Yeah.

50:15 Adam An automobile, gone.

50:17 Caller Gone.

50:18 Adam Long gone.

50:18 Drew Hey, I have a quick play to put out here to 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm working on a television program. You're going to love it. Well, we're doing two shows and they're looking for a couple in the Los Angeles area to keep a masturbation diary. I know you'd love to do that. Oh, you and your wife. Would you please come on my show?

50:37 Adam Dear Diary. Forget it.

50:41 Drew Then Lynette would be... What?

50:43 Adam Yeah, with mine, it'd be like, Adam, there's nothing in this diary. Shine the black light on it. Shine it on. Oh, my goodness.

50:52 Drew Yeah, and I can just imagine Lynette's disgust, which I've seen many, many times.

50:57 Caller Diary of men.

50:59 Adam I would sooner masturbate on a diary than actually keep a diary.

51:03 Drew So, anyways, if the Southern California Couple wants to be on television and willing to get into that stuff, then the other show is in the San Francisco area. We have a coach for people that are sort of sexually in a rut, either mismatched or they're there.

51:14 Adam It's always weird.

51:16 Drew Well, but it's a...

51:17 Adam Let me guess the coach, the sun-blasted 50-something-year-old chick with the big hanging earrings.

51:23 Drew And by the way, one of the things I'm going to do is attack that stuff.

51:27 Adam Good.

51:27 Drew One thing is to sort of unmask that stuff for what it is.

51:33 Adam I see those shows once in a while on HBO, like Unreal Sex. They'll have... It's always that woman, and she's standing in front of a chalkboard, and she's like, the vulva is... And it's always like, oh, I'm going to... Come on, get naked. Let's go.

51:46 Drew Well, guess what? What I'm going to get at is a little bit more of like, come on, come on. Really? Come on. Give me a break here. Really? You're just saying this for television? Or do you guys really have a different experience now because somebody taught you the anatomy of the vulva?

51:59 Adam Is there any couple that has been together for, you know, eight years plus who wants to go back to school to relearn how to perform oral on their wife?

52:10 Drew Well, you know what I think? I think it could have helped if there's sort of a desire mismatch. You know, how do you make that compromise? Somebody wants to do it more, somebody wants to do it less, or has it changed over time?

52:19 Adam Meet in the middle and start getting it on.

52:21 Drew But that's the thing. That's something I think would be interesting to explore if people can be satisfactorily dealt with.

52:25 Adam Yeah, the coach part just feels...

52:27 Drew I'm hoping that's what they're going to do. Anyways, the San Francisco area, the coach thing, in the Los Angeles area, the masturbation diaries, and you'll be on TV.

52:34 Adam What do you do with the diary? What do you mean the diary?

52:37 Drew I think it's just to really document, to really let people look at what one another's doing and see how they react to that. So in other words, if one is... If your wife, for instance, your wife look at your diary with the black light, it'd be like, for her it'd be like, okay, no kidding.

52:50 Adam Entry, yeah, it would be like...

52:52 Drew Star Day.

52:52 Adam Monday, December 28th, 2004, 2 p.m. Entry, Monday, December 20th, say...

53:01 Drew 2.30.

53:02 Caller 2.33.

53:04 Adam Yeah. Second day, we couldn't even get the page. It was spot welded to the second page. Beat Off Diary, really?

53:12 Caller Yeah. I'm gonna try it.

53:15 Adam Allison? Yes?

53:17 Drew Adam, it's TV, remember?

53:18 Adam Yeah.

53:19 Drew You need a brain vacation.

53:20 Yeah.

53:21 Adam Allison, you're 24.

53:22 Caller Yes.

53:23 Adam What's up? All right, so you never can be faithful?

53:26 Caller Never.

53:28 Adam How come?

53:29 Caller I don't know, that's what I'm calling you guys for.

53:31 Drew Well, what do you mean?

53:33 Caller Well, I guess to make a long story short, every man I pretty much ever encountered, like family-wise, friendships, anything like that, if they had a significant other, they were not faithful. This goes for pretty much every guy in my family, uncle, grandpa, dad.

53:50 Drew So you've decided that men aren't safe, they aren't trustworthy.

53:55 Caller You think that's it?

53:56 Drew Well, as you just told, I'm just trying to understand what you're telling me. That's what you just said. You said every man you've ever met is not faithful. I would imagine if I felt that every potential partner had no probability of being faithful, a way to defend against that is to screw things up before you get too involved, make sure you always have another guy on the line, because God knows every guy is going to screw up as far as you're concerned.

54:21 Caller Drew.

54:23 Caller Wow, you're a genius.

54:24 Adam He's good, bud. He's good. All right, so, Allison. How about a little therapy?

54:31 Drew Yeah, your thinking is off, Allison, and I guarantee you there's deeper stuff than just this.

54:35 Caller Yeah.

54:36 Drew Your lack of trust goes much, much deeper, like into some abuse early on.

54:41 Caller What? Yeah.

54:42 Drew Yeah. What do you do? And that's where the trust was really ruptured, and then you saw it recapitulated in reality, and what did you see? Men are not trustful, therefore I have to screw up every relationship.

54:50 Adam What do you do for a living?

54:52 Caller Um, I do lots of things. I work at Victoria's Secret.

54:55 Caller I'm also a bill collector.

54:59 Caller I'm interning with a real estate company.

55:02 Adam Hold on a second. You know, it's funny, it's like the, I work for Victoria's Secret, like I was like, ooh, hot. I'm also a bill collector. Ooh, that's a weird, that's a weird combo.

55:12 Drew Now, look, have you ever gone to Victoria's Secret?

55:14 Adam No.

55:15 Drew We got to go in there because you have the, you have the ultra estrogenized females hanging out in there.

55:20 Adam Oh, really?

55:20 Drew The girls that work there, the, you know, the red and sherry red.

55:24 Adam What do you do there? What do you do there, Allison?

55:27 Caller Um, which one? Victoria's Secret or bill collecting?

55:30 Drew Victoria's Secret.

55:31 Caller Um, I do what every girl does at Victoria's Secret. I sit, um, I sit people for bras.

55:36 Caller I.

55:37 Drew So you're a salesperson.

55:38 Caller I try to buy as much stuff as possible. Yeah, pretty much.

55:40 I'm a sales girl.

55:41 Drew Pretty much.

55:42 Adam And, uh, do you, do you use any of the items yourself?

55:47 Caller Do I use them? Of course I do. I get a discount.

55:51 Drew Yeah, but you understand we're trying to reconcile this with the bill collector side of you.

55:54 Caller Yeah.

55:54 Adam Are you good looking?

55:56 Caller Huh?

55:57 Adam Are you good looking?

55:59 Caller Um, I guess that might be why I can't stay faithful. I don't know. Like, maybe because there's too many people to choose from. She's a ho-ho-ho.

56:07 She's a ho-ho-ho. She's a ho-ho-ho.

56:08 She's a ho-ho-ho.

56:09 She's a ho-ho-ho.

56:09 Caller She's a ho-ho-ho.

56:09 She's a ho-ho-ho.

56:11 She's a ho-ho-ho.

56:12 Adam It's kind of an interesting thing. Like, let's, let's, let's, let's figure this out for a second, Drew.

56:17 Caller Yeah.

56:18 Adam For a guy, that can be a problem.

56:20 Drew Yes.

56:20 Adam If a guy is young, she's 24. If a guy is 24 and a guy's number is way up there. Like, he's a great looking guy and he's just, you know, he's a pro surfer or something. It's hard to stay faithful because you got the biology.

56:36 Drew Well, his, that one isn't even going to have a boy or a girl.

56:38 Adam Meeting opportunity.

56:39 Drew Yeah, it's just.

56:39 Adam Well, you could have one for a while, but opportunity meets raging biology.

56:43 Drew Yeah.

56:43 Adam It's going to be tough. Women, what you look like in the faithful part, not quite as important because as a woman, you can have sex with anybody whenever you want. And anyway, it's just who you want to have sex with.

56:55 Drew Right.

56:56 Adam I mean, you can go into some bar, drag some guy out and have sex with him in the parking lot any given night of the week.

57:02 Drew No matter who you are.

57:03 Adam Yeah, it's not going to be the pro surfer guy.

57:06 Drew Right.

57:07 Adam But it will be a guy. And if you're looking to be unfaithful, good enough for you. Right. And by the way, women, it's not so much about the way the guy looks anyway. It's more there's some emotional component that needs to be satiated and you're looking to be unfaithful so you can do it whenever you want. So you being a good looking, Allison, although an interesting theory, is probably nothing to do with why you can or can't be faithful.

57:31 Drew Yes.

57:32 Adam Yes.

57:32 Drew I absolutely agree.

57:33 Adam Unless you're so spectacular that you're just dating a guy who's a plumber and rock stars are hitting on you constantly.

57:40 Drew Yeah.

57:41 Adam I don't think that's the case.

57:43 Drew And that person is dating the plumber for a reason.

57:45 Caller Right.

57:47 Adam Allison?

57:48 Caller Yeah.

57:48 Drew All right.

57:49 Adam So your looks are probably neither here nor there, but it's more the family you grew up in.

57:55 Caller Probably.

57:56 Drew All right.

57:57 Adam So get a little therapy for yourself.

57:58 Caller All right. Thank you, guys.

58:00 Drew Adjust your thinking.

58:01 Caller And don't get pregnant.

58:02 Drew Yeah. By the way, if you do try to adjust your thinking, realize also because of your abuse history, you're going to be attracted to guys that are abusive, which will of course confirm your belief that men are not trustworthy. If you do decide to go out with a guy and have a relationship, make sure it's a boring guy. Somebody not too attracted to you because your radar is broken.

58:19 Caller Yeah.

58:19 Adam And it's an age old question, which is for women, the attraction thing, I mean, she's not going to be, if you're a chick who's screwed up and you come from a screwed up environment, you're just not going to be attracted to a good guy. So therefore, it's like a certain race. It's like, well, not all black men are criminals, but if the only five you know have tried to stab you, that's the way you're going to think of the whole community. If the only handful of guys you've been with have been A-holes, you're just going to think all guys are A-holes. Untrue. Yes? Yes. You ready to rock, Drew? John?

58:58 Caller Yeah.

58:59 Adam You're 28?

59:00 Caller Yeah.

59:02 Adam What's up there, brother man?

59:04 Caller Well, about a month ago, I walked in my bedroom. My wife, they're using a vibrator.

59:10 Caller I don't know if that's, is that, is that right?

59:13 Caller Am I not good enough or?

59:16 Adam Well, well, John, that's true.

59:18 Caller Do you, yeah.

59:19 Drew Do you masturbate?

59:21 Caller Yeah.

59:22 Drew So here's a couple that should be on that masturbation diary, see? Yeah. So we can deal with that in a more healthy way.

59:27 Adam Yeah. Hey, John?

59:31 Caller Yeah.

59:32 Caller What do you do for a living?

59:33 Caller I'm a bartender.

59:35 Adam Bartender? That's a good, good gig.

59:38 Caller Yeah.

59:38 Adam You, now, must be easy to meet chicks as a bartender.

59:42 Caller Yeah, a lot of them.

59:44 Adam Did you meet your wife when you were attending bar?

59:46 Caller Yeah.

59:48 Drew What kind of place do you tend to bar at?

59:51 Caller Well, a place is called Blue Marlin.

59:54 Adam It's funny, Drew said what kind of place, because he thought maybe he didn't want to actually give out the name of the place, but then you gave the name and we have no idea what that means.

1:00:02 Drew What kind of place that is.

1:00:03 Adam Yeah. So Drew, it's sort of 0 for 2 in that one question. You know what I mean?

1:00:07 Caller Yes.

1:00:09 Drew Our callers do not disappoint, though, do they?

1:00:10 Adam No. I'm guessing it's a place that has fish tacos and plays a little Jimmy Buffett.

1:00:15 Drew I'm thinking the marina and Jimmy Buffett.

1:00:17 Adam What do you think, John?

1:00:19 It's a regular food-serving place, but I got 8 o'clock at night.

1:00:22 Caller It's a complete bar.

1:00:25 Drew Food-serving place. How about the marina pick?

1:00:29 Caller No.

1:00:30 Drew Okay. Yeah.

1:00:31 Adam Hey, John.

1:00:32 Caller Yeah?

1:00:33 Adam What city is it in?

1:00:35 Caller It's in Orange County.

1:00:36 Adam Okay. All right. Can I get a decent fish taco over there?

1:00:41 Caller No.

1:00:42 Adam All right.

1:00:43 Caller Wow.

1:00:44 Adam One Mississippi.

1:00:44 Drew Oh, my God.

1:00:45 Caller One Mississippi.

1:00:46 Adam It's a great bartender.

1:00:47 Drew I had a car accident.

1:00:48 Adam Really?

1:00:48 Drew I had a drink.

1:00:49 Adam Let me say this real quickly. In the new year, everything's about the new year now for me. I want... You know how I complain? The fish tacos have got me going down this route. John can wait. Believe me. We can be bored by him at any point in the show. Let me say this. I want some standardization in things like iced teas. I ordered an iced tea. I ordered an iced tea to Taco Bell the other day. You know, they did it through drive-thru. Whatever. I'm driving. Take a sip out. It tastes like just sugar and flowers. You know what I mean? It's super sacchariney, sweet, sort of hibiscusy, flowery, kind of passion fruit. And I thought, I wanted a goddamn iced tea.

1:01:31 Drew Yeah, not a juice.

1:01:32 Adam Not your, not even, yeah, not even a, it's not, I would have taken a juice, but this is a drink.

1:01:38 Caller Yes, a syrup drink.

1:01:39 Adam Syrup drink, yeah. I want an iced tea. And by the way, the reason many people order an iced tea is because they don't want to drink a Coke. You know, they don't want the calories associated with drinking.

1:01:51 Drew Nor all this sugar and flavor experience associated with all that.

1:01:56 Adam Right. I wanted an iced tea.

1:01:59 Drew And what if in England you sat down for tea in the afternoon, they served you a syrup, I mean, it would be a hot tea.

1:02:04 Adam Yeah, well, I wanted iced tea and what I got was high C, basically. And all I'm saying is that's their high C. I mean, that's their tea. That's their tea. And then if you go to a diner up the street and you get iced tea, you just get a regular iced tea or it could vary. It's all over the map, especially here in Los Angeles. Let's just decide on one iced tea. You know what you're getting, just like if you ordered a Coke, you'd know what you were getting, right? Please everyone join me on this iced tea crusade.

1:02:34 Drew There's no reason they couldn't have different flavors of iced tea, just the way the different flavors of soda. But you have to order that.

1:02:40 Adam You have to order that. And you got to give a heads up. Like when the guy orders the iced tea, you got to go, Oh no, ours tastes like a melted popsicle.

1:02:49 Drew That's a step you shouldn't need. It should be, do you have a specific request? No, iced tea.

1:02:54 Adam When I'm in charge, Drew, when I'm in charge, it will just be the iced tea that tastes like brewed iced tea.

1:03:01 Drew God, the world would be in a much better world.

1:03:03 Adam Utopia! Now, back to fish tacos. Fish tacos come one of two ways. They either come as pieces of fish inside the taco or they come battered and deep fried as pieces of fish. Oh, yes.

1:03:18 Drew I've never had that one. Oh, okay.

1:03:20 Adam Drew, I know you love crapping on my points, but you'll run into that.

1:03:24 Drew I believe you. I've just not had it.

1:03:26 Adam All right, I'll see if I can go for two over here. Chris, first off, do you have any idea what we're talking about?

1:03:31 Drew Fish tacos?

1:03:32 Adam That's right. Secondly, have you ever had the fish taco where it's battered?

1:03:36 Caller No.

1:03:37 Drew And?

1:03:39 Adam Okay, you will get it.

1:03:40 Drew I've just not had it, I'm just saying.

1:03:41 Adam I know. You will get it half the time. Okay. That's what they will bring.

1:03:45 Drew Yeah.

1:03:46 Adam You see what I'm saying?

1:03:47 Drew Yeah.

1:03:47 Adam And then you have to start getting what kind of fish tacos. You don't want the batter.

1:03:51 Drew By the way, if I get the batter ones, I'll be shocked. I'll be like, what's this?

1:03:54 Adam I can't believe you. Do you order fish tacos?

1:03:57 Drew In place called like Wahoo fish tacos, yes. And Baja Fresh. Yeah.

1:04:05 Adam Those are, yeah. Yeah, but they will go, you gotta go, you gotta move down a notch.

1:04:10 Drew Yeah, yeah. Sounds like it.

1:04:11 Adam And then you will get in the authenticity department, not necessarily in the price department. You will get the battered ones. And you will be horribly disappointed. And then you'll be sitting at home with your passion fruit, iced tea, and your battered fish tacos, and you'll be disgusted. That's what I'm saying. We need to standardize.

1:04:29 Drew We need to create that utopia you've been planning for years. Now, what are we gonna do with John here?

1:04:32 Adam First thing I'm gonna do is find out about those tacos. This could take 45 minutes. John?

1:04:38 This is his wife.

1:04:40 Caller I just overheard that he was on the phone to you guys.

1:04:44 Adam Oh, really? Well, is he there?

1:04:46 Caller I kind of sent him in the other room. What is he talking about with you guys?

1:04:49 Adam Have you ever got...

1:04:50 Drew This is all bogus.

1:04:51 Adam It's bogus. Have you ever got the fish tacos where he works?

1:04:55 Caller No, they don't have fish tacos.

1:04:57 Drew See? He was bogus all the way to the fish tacos room.

1:04:59 Adam He said they had fish tacos. He was lying about it.

1:05:02 Caller Oh, I think he was probably talking about something else.

1:05:05 Drew What kind of place... Where does he work?

1:05:06 Caller He works at a bar at Orange County.

1:05:09 Adam And where did you guys meet?

1:05:12 Caller Oh, we met kind of in school.

1:05:15 Adam School? Well, he said he met you at the bar.

1:05:18 Caller No, we went to school together. We met several times at the bar.

1:05:24 Adam He said he met you when he was working. And when you say school, I'm going junior college. Yeah.

1:05:34 Caller We're not very old.

1:05:36 Drew No, 28. Adam practice medicine for three years.

1:05:39 Adam Yeah, that'll let you to four-year school until you're well in your 40s. That's why I call it four-year school, right? Four.

1:05:44 Drew Four decades.

1:05:45 Adam Four decades. Yeah, you're too young for college.

1:05:49 Caller Oh, thank you.

1:05:50 Adam Yeah. I mean, real college. Oh, real college.

1:05:53 Oh.

1:05:54 Adam So he said that he walked in on you the other day and you were using a vibrator.

1:06:00 Caller Is that true?

1:06:00 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:06:02 Caller I gotta do something. Shoot.

1:06:04 Adam He's not. He's not taking care of you, huh?

1:06:05 Caller No. No.

1:06:07 Caller He's got the littlest penis I've ever seen.

1:06:10 Drew All right.

1:06:12 Adam All right. Well, we'll see in hell.

1:06:13 Drew You can do the masturbation Diary if you want. So why don't we take a hold of him?

1:06:18 Adam Still want to find. You know, I'm curious about the fish taco part because I just, by the way, I always check with Chris because I know, by the way, and I don't know how instinctively, Drew, like, how is it that you're able to steer your life so you never know what I'm talking about or never experience what I'm talking about? Do you find that interesting? Be careful.

1:06:36 Drew Be careful. It could be that you're steering your conversation so I never know what you're talking about. You know, it could be.

1:06:41 Adam That's possible.

1:06:42 Drew Or maybe both are moving in different directions.

1:06:44 Adam But something like fish taco seems innocuous, although you do know the tea thing.

1:06:47 Drew Yeah, I know that.

1:06:48 Adam You know the tea thing.

1:06:49 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:06:50 Adam All right. And then how come?

1:06:52 Drew How come he got part Mexican?

1:06:53 Adam How come Chris, and not just Chris, but everyone around here all the time, you know, except for who? You know the one guy who knows everything? Brian.

1:07:02 Drew Brian. Brian, yeah.

1:07:03 Adam Yeah.

1:07:04 Drew Yeah. Brian always knows what you're talking about.

1:07:05 Adam Always knows what I'm talking about.

1:07:06 Drew You're swimming the same stream, I guess.

1:07:08 Adam Thank you.

1:07:09 Drew All right.

1:07:10 Adam Let's, I think we whizz in the same pool is more what it is.

1:07:14 Drew You're gay.

1:07:15 Adam Let's see. Nipple ring is infected. It's getting worse.

1:07:18 Drew Let's get to it.

1:07:19 Adam Red and pussy.

1:07:20 Drew Yeah, real quick.

1:07:21 Adam Let's take a break. I'm going nuts with this breaded fish taco now. We'll take a break. You OK, buddy? Yeah. Let me tell you this.

1:07:33 Drew Tell me that.

1:07:33 Adam I was at a small, I was in a small fishing village in like La Paz, Mexico, where I brought home a Dorado, huge Dorado, a 55 pound Dorado. But here's the point. Sitting in a small fishing village at the most authentic outdoor, there was dirt on the ground kind of cafe. I mean, this thing couldn't have got more authentic. It was like, you know, folding table with dirt on the ground and palm fronds over your head. Food was as authentic as it could get. It was excellent. I was there with three or four fishing buddies. We're all drinking beer. They're ordering like the shrimp Diablo or whatever. I ordered the fish tacos battered.

1:08:13 Drew Maybe that's the authentic way.

1:08:14 Adam I guess it is. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll get back with Rebecca and her infected nipples after this. Get it on!

1:08:53 Drew Oh, no one knows what you're talking about.

1:08:54 Adam No, they don't. But Drew does. Yep.

1:08:57 Drew But one of the rare references I do.

1:08:58 Adam Yeah.

1:08:59 Drew And that Chris doesn't.

1:09:00 Adam No, no. Chris, Chris is a fairly narrow, I see Chris, your spectrum of information is like being in a shooting range. You know what I mean? Just a nice, long, narrow corridor. But but you hit the mark. You hit the mark.

1:09:18 Caller Cool.

1:09:19 Adam Yeah.

1:09:20 Caller Okay. You're a dick to a lot of people on the air.

1:09:23 Drew I haven't heard that one a long time.

1:09:26 Adam Yeah. Didn't I give we gave Chris money for?

1:09:31 Caller What did you get?

1:09:31 Adam Would you get anything good? Chris, what did you get? What did your mom get you?

1:09:36 Caller I got like a wallet and some clothes and stuff. Yeah.

1:09:41 Adam And, uh, no one heard that out. Yeah. What do you got in there? You got it. You don't put any money in there, do you?

1:09:49 Drew No.

1:09:50 Adam No. It's just you leave the picture of the chick in there. So like your girlfriend.

1:09:54 Drew Right. Right. Yeah. That's what Adam used to masturbate to.

1:09:57 Adam No, I it was the chick on the cover, the front of the raft box.

1:10:01 Drew Oh, the pool store.

1:10:02 Caller The big five.

1:10:02 Drew Yeah.

1:10:03 Caller Yeah.

1:10:04 Adam No, pool store.

1:10:05 Caller Yeah, there was. I was just thinking this.

1:10:06 Adam No, there was. Yeah. It was the elite went to buy the chlorine. No, I didn't need a raft.

1:10:13 Caller That's all I think.

1:10:13 Adam Yes.

1:10:14 Drew You just took the box.

1:10:14 Adam I just walked into that section. Drew, what'd you get? So, so Chris, you got a wallet.

1:10:20 Drew And some clothes. Yeah.

1:10:21 Adam And some clothes. All right. And Drew?

1:10:24 Caller I got a new telephone.

1:10:25 Adam New telephone.

1:10:26 Drew Yeah, the Bluetooth.

1:10:26 Adam You got the Bluetooth.

1:10:27 Caller That's awesome.

1:10:28 Adam Who got you that?

1:10:29 Drew My wife, kids.

1:10:29 Adam Nice. Oh, the kids.

1:10:31 Drew Yeah.

1:10:32 Adam You bought it for yourself. And what did you get? Did you get anything decent?

1:10:37 Caller That's it.

1:10:38 Drew What do you mean?

1:10:39 Adam They got you the Bluetooth.

1:10:40 Drew Yeah.

1:10:41 Adam How's that Bluetooth work?

1:10:42 Drew What's the technology? I have no idea.

1:10:44 Adam What do you do? You put it in your ear?

1:10:46 Drew It's just a piece. You put it in your ear and you don't need a wire. It's fantastic.

1:10:49 Adam Yeah. But then I talked to you yesterday or today.

1:10:51 Caller Yeah.

1:10:51 Drew But I was in the bathroom.

1:10:53 Caller You couldn't hear a damn thing.

1:10:54 Drew I was in the bathroom and then I was seeing a patient while I was trying to talk to you.

1:10:58 Adam I don't know if I'm going to like this Bluetooth.

1:10:59 Drew No. You actually raised the question of what I was doing at times which you shouldn't have been able to hear me no matter what the device was.

1:11:08 Adam Okay. All right. We'll see. Rebecca?

1:11:12 Drew Hi.

1:11:12 Adam You're 21.

1:11:14 Drew Yes. We'll see on the way home tonight when we have our love fest.

1:11:17 Adam Did your folks get you anything?

1:11:19 Drew Me?

1:11:19 Caller Yeah.

1:11:21 Adam Hold on.

1:11:21 Caller Quiet.

1:11:22 Adam Did you get anything?

1:11:22 Drew I got my kid's stuff.

1:11:23 Adam I got your kid's stuff. My dad gave me $100 in an envelope, which is...

1:11:29 Drew Cute.

1:11:30 Adam Generous, but it's a weird gift.

1:11:34 Drew It's weird when you're paying for his car.

1:11:36 Adam Yeah. I pay $650 a month for his car and he gave me $100. It's a weird... I mean, it makes it ironic.

1:11:44 Drew It has a weird sort of... Unfortunately, it makes you feel like he doesn't really understand what you're paying every month. It makes it seem like, was it $6,000 a year and $100? Yeah, yeah.

1:11:56 Adam At least my dad had a Jag and he gave me $100 which is fine, but it's kind of weird. Like, here's the deal. My dad doesn't really have any money, hence me leasing him a car. He's not living in a refrigerator box, but obviously he's not a rich guy or he'd be able to afford his own goddamn car. But the point is, is you got to like knit your kid a baseball hat or something.

1:12:20 Drew Right, to do something for him. Yeah, yeah.

1:12:21 Adam Yeah, give me a Macro Mayow.

1:12:23 Drew Right, right.

1:12:23 Adam And do something. Take a picture and put it in a frame. You know what I mean?

1:12:28 Drew Yeah.

1:12:28 Adam Homemade Christmas ornament. Yeah, do that kind of thing. That's what you got to do when people are buying you a car.

1:12:33 Drew Yes, you don't give them one six hundredth of what they're paying a year.

1:12:39 Adam There you go, buddy. This is how I take care of four days.

1:12:44 Drew Weird, huh? It makes me think he doesn't really understand what you're paying him.

1:12:47 Caller No, it just...

1:12:48 Adam That was my stepmom and he didn't leave the house. He doesn't do anything. Rebecca?

1:12:55 Yeah.

1:12:56 Adam Sorry.

1:12:57 Drew Go ahead.

1:12:57 Yes, twenty-one.

1:13:00 Drew Go ahead.

1:13:01 Caller There you go.

1:13:02 I got my nipples pierced six or seven months ago. And the piercer said to wash them with antibacterial soap and soak them in sea salt. Don't use antibiotic cream on it though, because I guess that's bad for it. So I did that.

1:13:18 Adam Hold on. How do you soak them in sea salt?

1:13:21 You stick them in just like warm water, sea salt, in like a shot glass and just hold it against your nipple.

1:13:27 Drew Nice.

1:13:28 Caller Make it tight, or you do spill it all down your stomach.

1:13:31 Drew Nice. Good times. All right. All right. And you did use antibiotic equipment or you did not?

1:13:36 Caller No, I didn't.

1:13:37 Caller Like three days ago, like I laid down and it was kind of sore and I looked at it, and it started looking a little like red and like a pus like coming out. So I freaked out and I went to our closest piercer and they're all closed because it was too late. So I went to Walgreens and the pharmacist had no clue what she was talking about, but she told me to put antibiotic cream on it, which is what they told me not to do. So I'm doing the see-saw thing again, but I don't know like.

1:14:06 Drew Well, here's the deal. I don't know why they would tell you not to put antibiotic cream, except for the fact that some of the antibiotic creams are irritating. But if you have a very effective antibiotic cream, like something called Bactroban, that would take care of the infection, period. The problem, though, is that most of these things are not infections. They're rejections of the of the piercing.

1:14:27 Adam What's the difference between infection and rejection?

1:14:29 Drew rejection is just an infection is an immune response to having a foreign body trying to push it out of your body. infection is bacteria getting in and causing a reaction.

1:14:42 Adam They manifest themselves in the same way?

1:14:43 Drew It would be very hard to tell, but just looking at it. But the fact is, the fact that you haven't seen a doctor, I find bizarre, the piercings almost undoubtedly need to come out, and you probably will need some oral antibiotics in addition to antibiotic cream, because you can get very serious infections sometimes from this kind of thing.

1:14:59 Adam What about it? Is it one nipple or is it both?

1:15:03 Caller I have both of them done, but it's only one that's like red.

1:15:06 Adam Alright, well just take the one out and leave the other one. It's creepy. What do you want it for? Do you think it turns guys on? Don't give me that it's for you crap. Everything you do is to try to get a guy to be one just iota more attracted to you.

1:15:22 Caller To be honest, anytime a guy has played with them, I wanted to kick them in the face, because they don't know what they're doing, first of all. So I like them because I find it fun to play with myself. Guys don't know what they're doing with them, though.

1:15:33 Adam Alright, have fun in residing in an angry lesbian villa your whole life.

1:15:38 Caller Oh no, I'm not an angry lesbian.

1:15:41 Adam I know, but you're angry.

1:15:43 Caller No, it's just been a rough week.

1:15:44 Adam No, you got something weird going.

1:15:46 Caller I don't know what you talk about, though. I do know what you mean about the fish tacos, though. They have the first one down in Mexico.

1:15:52 Adam Yeah, and they're breaded, right?

1:15:54 Caller They are.

1:15:55 Drew That must be authentic.

1:15:56 Adam I'm back. She knows what I'm talking about. Drew?

1:16:01 Caller Yeah.

1:16:02 Drew I want to make another play real quick.

1:16:03 Adam Quiet down for one second. This is, look, I don't want to just seem like Pops Corolla here. I can go back, I can put my, I can climb inside the 18-year-old brain of Adam Corolla because it's still in mine, it's the center hasn't dried yet.

1:16:17 Drew I see it there.

1:16:18 Adam It's the Nougatty Center.

1:16:18 Drew Yes.

1:16:19 Adam The nipple rings, here's what the nipple rings say to me as a guy. A, she's been around.

1:16:25 Drew Energy, yeah.

1:16:26 Adam B, she's a little nutty. No, I don't mean energy necessarily. I mean like A, I ain't the first guy to put a...

1:16:34 Drew Tongue ring says that too.

1:16:36 Adam Tongue ring.

1:16:37 Drew Tongue ring is open for business.

1:16:38 Adam Tongue ring is open for business, but the nipple ring even more open for business to me. So, this is not virgin soil I'm building on here. Number one. Number two, a little chaotic, a little effed up, a little angry. And number three, aesthetically, no help at all.

1:16:58 Drew Right. In fact, contrary.

1:17:00 Adam Yeah.

1:17:00 Drew Taken away.

1:17:01 Adam Distracting. And by the way, you screwing with the one part of you we want to see, you know what I mean? Like you want to do something, monkey with your forehead, monkey with the back of your neck, your thigh, the nappy or neck. We don't care about that part. Stay away from the good parts. There's a couple of parts as a guy we want to see. The stuff that they tile over when people are naked, that's the part you shouldn't be monkeying with. Those are the only parts that we really want to see. Do whatever you want to your fingers, do whatever you want to your scalp, do monkey with your nose if you like, but really work that nappy, nape in the back of your, is it nape or nape in the back of the neck there. Work with that part, we don't care about that part, in the earlobes and stuff. You got the right thing with the piercings on the earlobes. Do whatever you want.

1:17:46 Drew They're the webs between your fingers.

1:17:48 Adam That's right, the frenulum between the thumb and the finger. Fine, but the nipple, that's really one of the parts we don't want monkeyed with. Yes?

1:17:56 Drew Yes.

1:17:57 Adam Thank you. Now what were you saying, Drew?

1:17:59 Drew Oh, it was gonna be another plea. 1-800-LLVE-191, we're still looking for a couple to keep a masturbation diary, who live in the Southern California area and in the San Francisco area, a couple who's willing to be coached about their sexuality.

1:18:11 Adam Alright, you ready to rock? Who we talking to? Boyfriend doesn't trust her because she's kissed another guy? Alright. Stan?

1:18:23 Drew Call her who goes by Stan?

1:18:25 Adam Stan may be sleeping.

1:18:26 Drew I suspect.

1:18:27 Adam Stan's been on hold for 73 minutes. Stan?

1:18:35 Caller I do hear a little breathing.

1:18:37 Adam Disappointing for a guy from Idaho, though.

1:18:40 Drew To be asleep?

1:18:41 Adam Yeah.

1:18:41 Drew Because it's not a different time zone? It's an hour later.

1:18:49 Caller No, no, no.

1:18:51 Adam I said a guy from Idaho. No, I think of Idaho as a place where they really do some big snoring.

1:18:56 Drew Oh, yes. Yeah.

1:18:57 Caller Yeah.

1:18:58 Drew Yeah. And Stan sounds like a good snorer, too.

1:19:00 Adam Well, you got the name Stan. You got the, as from Idaho, you got these going into the army. And you think you all put those three things together. You got snoring.

1:19:09 Drew Yeah.

1:19:10 Adam What's going on, Stan?

1:19:11 Caller Oh, not a whole lot. I was talking to one of my buddies. I leave Wednesday for boot camp in Georgia. And I got informed that they inject you with some crap that makes you not go stiff. That whole time. And Georgia is like all infantry and all those guys. So we have no women in boot camp. So I sure as heck don't want to go stiff. But I don't want something messing me up later on.

1:19:33 Drew Not want to go stiff.

1:19:34 Adam Yeah.

1:19:35 Drew Well, as you know, Stan, we live in a very litigious society. And it's not likely that they're going to give you something that's going to hurt you and you're not get, and them not get sued.

1:19:42 Adam Yeah.

1:19:43 Drew So they're not going to give you something that is harmful to you, nor is it their desire to do it.

1:19:47 Adam But they used to give, put saltpeter.

1:19:49 Drew Supposedly, but listen, the last thing they want to do is, look, to the infantry is to decrease their aggression. That's what you want to do, make them less aggressive? No, you make them more irritable, more aggressive. Of course.

1:19:58 Adam Where are you, and then where do you go? You go to Iraq?

1:20:04 Caller After that, basically, I get two weeks off of boot camp and then I report to my station. And probably within the next year, yeah, I'll go to Iraq.

1:20:12 Adam All right. Why are you doing that?

1:20:16 Caller You know, family, I'm an idiot. I don't know. Choose your pick. I mean.

1:20:22 Get on your knees, scumbag.

1:20:24 Adam Look, here's the whole thing about this man's army. Not a bad gig compared to whatever your options were, which is not an Ivy League school. It's a carpet cleaning with the Ace man at 18 or going to junior college with engineer Chris over here. Although he's 28. These are your options. junior college, flipping burgers, or going into the military. Going into the military, pretty viable. Absolutely. Sucking a little bit during wartime, I got to say. But still probably a better option. I know guys who went in the military, they, you know, first off, you get like medical and dental for the rest of your life, pretty much. You get, it's easy to get loans and things like that. Like if you want to buy a house. You know, people don't really think about that crap.

1:21:17 Drew There's insurance benefits and things.

1:21:19 Adam There's tons of junk that you give up that, you know, 18 to 22 or 20 to 24, whatever those years where all you've been doing is smoking pot out of a makeshift bong and going to junior college and doing nothing. Go do that. Yeah. You'll get out of there with something.

1:21:35 Drew Now, what he may be talking about, though, there are certain vaccines and anti anthrax medications, things that have been implicated in this sort of Gulf War syndrome, creating fatigue and erectile dysfunction and whatnot. I suspect that may really be what he's talking about. And I don't believe there's been any of that in this go around with the Iraq War, the kinds of problems that saw with the Gulf War.

1:21:55 Adam All right. And Drew, what's going on with the tsunami?

1:21:59 Drew Yeah, what about it? I went down as you instructed me during the last week, we were together. You told me to go down to Indonesia and check things out.

1:22:05 Adam Yeah. I mean, how many... Now, what's going on? Is it disease now? Is that what's getting everybody?

1:22:11 Drew They're worried about the water supply being contaminated. There's sort of a mistake. Mistakenly, people think that somehow all the dead bodies are going to harm them, which the fact is they're going to smell bad and they're going to putrefy. But any infectious disease that you could contract are dead in those organs, in the dead bodies by now.

1:22:27 Adam They're not living in the dead flesh?

1:22:29 Drew They don't live in the dead flesh.

1:22:30 Adam They don't.

1:22:30 Drew They live in the live organisms. But because the water, there's no fresh water, people are going to get shigella and cholera and other oral fecal routes, contaminations that cause these horrible diarrheal illnesses.

1:22:43 Adam Yeah. You know, I was thinking, when I was thinking, I was thinking today that a tsunami and a tidal wave are the same thing.

1:22:50 Caller Yes.

1:22:52 Adam And then I was thinking a dead end and a cul-de-sac are the same thing. It's all about what your neighborhood is.

1:22:58 Drew Yes.

1:22:58 Adam And you want to be in a cul-de-sac, tidal wave neighborhood, not the tsunami dead end neighborhood. So it's sort of the same place. Yeah.

1:23:07 Drew Tidal waves are in the Pacific.

1:23:09 Adam Tidal wave, you get here with a tidal wave, maybe you're in Hawaii. Right.

1:23:14 Drew And there are cul-de-sacs there.

1:23:15 Adam Yeah. And if you live on a dead end, you want it to be a cul-de-sac.

1:23:19 Drew Sure.

1:23:20 Adam Because that means you're in a nice neighborhood. Like it's great. And I know people live on a cul-de-sac up in the hills. It's like, ooh, nice cul-de-sac.

1:23:28 Drew That's what you want.

1:23:28 Adam But then people live on a dead end in Van Nuys. It's like, oh, dangerous. Yeah.

1:23:33 Drew And by the way, cul-de-sacs around dead ends are square.

1:23:36 Adam Ooh.

1:23:37 Drew The dead ends all have that triangular yellow sign with the red reflectors.

1:23:42 Adam No, no. I'm talking about the houses. No. And by the way, they usually have a little turnaround room in those. It's really just nice neighborhoods decide to get rid of them. Really, there's a negative, I don't even think there's a difference that way. I just think there's a horribly negative connotation of calling somebody, if you're trying to sell a $2 million house, it's tough calling it a dead end.

1:24:04 Drew Or even at the end of.

1:24:05 Adam Yeah.

1:24:06 Drew All right.

1:24:06 Adam Anderson?

1:24:07 Caller You know, the funny thing about tidal waves is they changed the name to tsunami because tidal waves are the only things that weren't caused by the tides, they're caused by the shifts in the earth.

1:24:15 Drew Right. Right.

1:24:16 Caller But tsunami just means tidal wave in Japanese.

1:24:18 Drew Right.

1:24:19 Adam Yeah. I never. And by the way, here's how retarded I am. I. Tidal wave for some reason, I never connected with the tide part. I don't know. Maybe I heard it too early. I don't know. You know, anyone has seen the Poseidon Adventure?

1:24:33 Drew Chris, was that a tidal wave?

1:24:34 Adam Yeah. Seen the Poseidon Adventure?

1:24:36 Caller Chris heard of the.

1:24:37 Drew Have you heard of American?

1:24:39 Adam Have you heard of the Poseidon Adventure?

1:24:41 Drew No. Does this name mean anything to you? Ernest Borgdine. I've heard of them. Heard of them?

1:24:47 Adam Okay. So you've never, but you've not heard.

1:24:52 Drew Stella Stevens.

1:24:53 Adam No, no. You've not heard of the movie title. You've not heard of the movie. What was it?

1:24:58 Drew The Poseidon Adventure.

1:24:58 Caller The Poseidon Adventure, yeah. No.

1:25:00 Adam No. Okay. So that's what I'm talking about. That's the interesting thing about engineer Chris. I wouldn't expect him to have seen the movie, but.

1:25:07 Drew I've heard of it.

1:25:08 Adam I should have heard of it. Yeah? No? Not? Still not? Nothing? Okay.

1:25:13 Drew Well.

1:25:15 Adam Are they going to do a remake, Andrew?

1:25:17 Drew I heard they were.

1:25:17 Caller It's pretty much the remake.

1:25:19 Drew Oh, really?

1:25:20 Caller I mean, if you watch them back to back, they're very similar.

1:25:23 Drew Interesting. Interesting. The. The Adam, you have to consider that in 1973, when you were watching Poseidon Adventure, they'd be like asking you about a film from 1948.

1:25:36 Adam You say that.

1:25:37 Drew How many Cary Grant films had you seen?

1:25:38 Adam Well, you say that. You say that.

1:25:41 Drew I say that because it's the fact.

1:25:43 Adam You say it. But here's the, here's number one. I don't even know if I saw it in the theater, by the way. I probably didn't.

1:25:49 Drew Where else would you have seen it?

1:25:50 Adam This is, I saw it first of.

1:25:52 Drew In 1973, where are you going to see it? It's all theater.

1:25:54 Adam Let me explain something. Let me explain something, Drew. I had to sit at home when I was young, and decide, I didn't decide whether I went to movies or not. My parents decided on whether we got in a car, started the car, drove it to the theater, paid for tickets, and then sat in the theater.

1:26:15 Drew Too much.

1:26:16 Adam That's not going to happen. So there weren't a whole lot of movies seen later on, on television, that kind of stuff. So I'm not so sure I saw that one in the theater. And secondly, Engineer Chris is 11, 12 years younger than I am. He's not 20 years younger than I am. And number B and number D or number F, I've heard of Ben Hur. You see what I'm saying? I've heard of the Ten Commandments. I didn't see him in the theater. Wizard of Oz, the list goes on. Okay. Take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Loveline! Yeah, get it on! Adam, that's Dr. Drew.

1:27:24 Drew Should we finish the sub story?

1:27:26 Adam We're back.

1:27:26 Drew Oh, the sub story.

1:27:29 Adam Forgot about how that was going to finish.

1:27:31 Drew Oh, a tsunami hits the sub. How timely.

1:27:34 Adam Interesting.

1:27:35 Drew Yes.

1:27:35 Caller Yeah.

1:27:37 Adam Interesting.

1:27:38 Drew We'll have to percolate on this. Because he's in the sub, in the trunk of a Duesenberg.

1:27:45 Adam Duesenberg.

1:27:45 Drew Duesenberg.

1:27:46 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

1:27:48 Drew What did I say? Duesenberg?

1:27:49 Adam I said Duesenberg.

1:27:50 Drew Duesenberg. Duesenberg.

1:27:52 Yeah.

1:27:54 Adam Let me get some thought to that, Drew.

1:27:56 Drew Let's talk in the meantime.

1:27:57 Adam Myra?

1:27:57 Drew Yeah.

1:27:58 All right.

1:27:59 Adam Myra?

1:28:00 Yes.

1:28:01 Adam What's up?

1:28:01 Drew 24.

1:28:02 I was wondering, I've been with my boyfriend for six years, and he doesn't turn me on.

1:28:10 Drew Maybe the relationship's over.

1:28:12 You think? Just by that?

1:28:15 Drew Well, you've been together since you're 18, six years, and it's not going anywhere. I don't know. Sometimes your body tells you more than you're willing to admit to yourself, particularly when you're younger and you kind of don't know when a relationship is wrapping up. You don't know how to end it. You've been together forever. You can't imagine being with anybody else, and yet you're not really into this guy. You're really not. You're telling us that explicitly.

1:28:36 Caller Really? Well, the thing is, I'm so attracted to him. Like when I, I mean, I don't know, I'm just not horny.

1:28:47 Drew Are you saying it's about him, or something's changed in you?

1:28:50 Caller I'm wondering, well, I'm wondering if it's me. I mean, the fact that he can't give me an orgasm, is it him or is it me who's not able to?

1:28:57 Drew Has he never been able to do that?

1:28:59 Caller No.

1:29:00 Drew You've never had an orgasm?

1:29:01 Caller The only way I can have it is orally.

1:29:05 Drew That's most women, it's all women, pretty much. I mean, that's what happened. It's only about 30, 40% of women ever have an orgasm with intercourse.

1:29:14 Adam And by the way, For certainly the root category. Myra's got issues, she's calling from Bakersfield, so you know there's trouble. But you know when people phrase things like, he can't give me an orgasm, what is that? What is that? Who is that person?

1:29:28 Drew I know, but that's-

1:29:28 Adam Could you imagine you saying that?

1:29:30 Drew Yeah, you're not a woman.

1:29:32 Adam Oh, oh, oh, I'm not?

1:29:34 Drew That's the way I am.

1:29:35 Adam Yeah?

1:29:36 Caller All right.

1:29:37 Adam Myra?

1:29:37 Caller Wait, wait, what does Bakersfield have to do with anything? No, I'm just teasing.

1:29:41 Adam Yeah, you know what I mean. What's going on? You sound like you're getting ready to go to junior college.

1:29:49 Caller No, I actually graduated.

1:29:50 Drew From junior college?

1:29:51 Caller From Cal State.

1:29:54 Adam Cal State Northridge?

1:29:56 Caller Bachelors in sociology.

1:29:57 Adam Oh, in Cal State Northridge?

1:30:00 Caller No, here in Bakersfield.

1:30:02 Adam Cal State Bakersfield.

1:30:03 Caller I didn't know there was one.

1:30:04 Adam Wow. And so what are you doing with your degree?

1:30:08 Caller I don't know. I think I'm just going to sit around for a little bit.

1:30:11 Adam All right. Yeah, when in Rome. So you've been with a guy for six years since you were 18. Seems like it's run its course. And by the way, you're going to have to marry him if you stay together for another 18 months. Because then it's weird. You know what I mean? And you got that little girl voice. You got some Asian in you or were you molested?

1:30:33 Caller No.

1:30:34 Caller I'm actually Asian.

1:30:36 Adam Oh, okay. Well, there you go.

1:30:37 Caller That's too funny.

1:30:38 Caller Okay.

1:30:40 Adam Well, that explains the school part.

1:30:42 Caller Yeah.

1:30:43 Caller So.

1:30:44 Caller And the dead parents.

1:30:47 Adam Yeah. What happened?

1:30:48 Caller Yeah.

1:30:48 Adam What? What? What? What type of Asian are you?

1:30:55 Caller I don't know if I should say.

1:30:57 Caller I'm Indian.

1:30:59 Adam Oh, you're Eastern Indian?

1:31:03 Caller Yeah.

1:31:05 Drew India proper?

1:31:06 Caller I'm sorry?

1:31:07 Drew India proper?

1:31:09 Caller What do you mean by India proper?

1:31:10 Drew I mean.

1:31:11 Adam You're from India?

1:31:12 Caller Yeah, I'm from India.

1:31:13 Drew Okay.

1:31:13 Adam No, okay. It's coming together a little bit now. And he gives you oral sex, gives you an orgasm, but nothing through intercourse.

1:31:22 Drew Which again, it was a normal sort of thing, and yet you're disappointed by it. You don't feel complete with the relationship. You still feel like unfulfilled, like there's something missing and you're not turned on, even though you're very attracted and blah, blah, blah, and defend the relationship deeply.

1:31:35 Adam What's he do?

1:31:37 Caller What does he do?

1:31:38 Adam What does he do for a living?

1:31:39 Caller He works.

1:31:40 Drew Oh, Adam, Adam, did you get that? Make a mental note, writing here, he works.

1:31:47 Caller I mean, what do you mean? Is that what you're asking me?

1:31:49 Caller What does he do?

1:31:51 Adam Yeah, I'm asking you, what does he do for a living?

1:31:55 Caller He is an engineer.

1:31:58 Drew And he works, got that in?

1:32:01 Adam No smarter couple ever sounded dumber. All right, he's an engineer. Now you thinking about marrying him?

1:32:08 Caller Yeah.

1:32:09 Drew You are? See, like the, yeah.

1:32:11 Adam He just, you know what? It just doesn't seem like you've sowed your oats.

1:32:15 Caller Yeah, you're right.

1:32:16 Drew Maybe you at least need some time off from this relationship. I'm not saying you have to leave him, but it just, what we hear is, you're not as into this emotionally as you ought to be, or certainly would want to be.

1:32:25 Adam I'm hearing almost a culturally conflicted person, somebody whose culture that came from said, you hook up, you stay with one guy, you get with a guy at 18, you put in some years, you get married and you call it a life.

1:32:38 Caller You don't have to do that.

1:32:39 Adam No, we'll ruin you out here. Oh yeah. We'll turn you out. Yeah, that should be our whole thing. Turning out hoes since 1776. All right, we will turn you out in this country. Oh yeah. And no, you'll watch a little too much of the E Channel and just go, screw it. I want to be with Charlie Sheen once before I tie the knot. Yeah. She's there. And if that's where you're at, it's going to be tough. Even if you change, the memory will never change. And you'll just think that's what you always want it.

1:33:13 Drew Right.

1:33:13 Adam You know what I mean?

1:33:14 Drew That's right. You'll be stuck in that state.

1:33:16 Adam Yeah. All right. Break it up. It's good.

1:33:18 Drew Or take some time off anyway.

1:33:20 Adam We'll take ourselves a quick break. Be right back after this. Well, that's it. That's the show. We're back, and this time, we're out for blood.

1:33:56 Drew Is that right?

1:33:57 Adam No, but I'm gonna figure out the end of this movie we're working on, Drew.

1:34:00 Drew Well, don't think about it too much, because that'll spoil it, if you just sort of script it.

1:34:03 Caller Well, here's part of it, here's part of it.

1:34:05 Adam Somehow, when the beach hits Arab soil, and they're gonna bring the cars, the very expensive cars, the salt in the Brunei's house, chasing through the city in the vintage automobiles.

1:34:19 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:34:20 Adam You know what I'm saying? I mean, that's gotta be part of it.

1:34:22 Drew But then the tsunami.

1:34:23 Adam Then the tsunami. We'll take a little extendo break. We'll be right back in about 22 hours. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. What's he do?

1:34:35 Caller What does he do?

1:34:37 Adam What does he do for a living?

1:34:38 Caller He works.

1:34:41 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:34:45 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline. This has been Loveline.

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Sunday, January 2, 2005