Episode 1000668858393

0:56 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Sexually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20 Hey, everyone.

1:21 It's Loveline.

1:22 Adam I'm Adam. I'm looking at these meter things, the things that when you yell, your voice grows up. And I'm just looking at it. Watch.

1:29 I'll get in the right hole.

1:30 Drew Oh, look at that.

1:32 Adam That's radio, baby. It's Loveline. No, nay, it's the best of Loveline.

1:37 Drew Oh, thank God.

1:38 Adam I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, Dixon Medicine Specialist. And here's here's why everyone's a winner on on Best Of.

1:46 Drew Because we're not there.

1:47 Adam Well, we're a winner because we're at home.

1:48 Drew Yeah, we're doing something.

1:49 Adam OK. Yeah, I'm probably home. I'm drunk instead of just buzzed.

1:54 You know what I mean? Like I am when I'm in here. Yeah.

1:56 Adam But here's why everyone's a winner. We're winners because we're at home. You're winners because you haven't heard half these shows. And even if you did, you were stoned and it was a year ago. And as opposed to no guest or one of the neighbors from the Parkers reunion show, you get big names like Jeff Probst from Survivor. Jeff Probst in studio tonight. Best gig on television next to this one next to this one. This one's on TV. But yeah, this great gig. Oh, here's Jenny. She has a kid with a 40 year old guy engaged to another girl. He's engaged to another girl. Jenny?

2:38 Caller Yes.

2:38 Adam You're 28?

2:39 Caller I'm 28.

2:40 Adam What's up?

2:43 Caller I had a child two years ago. We were kind of seeing each other and he didn't really make an effort to make it known that he likes me. So I kind of like one about my business.

2:57 Well, wait a minute.

2:59 Drew Already I'm lost.

3:00 Adam You had a child two years ago?

3:03 Yes.

3:04 Drew With him?

3:05 Adam With this guy?

3:06 Caller With him, not knowing that it was his.

3:10 Drew Pardon our confusion.

3:11 Caller Whose did you think it was?

3:14 Caller This other guy that I was... The beginning of March, I was seeing somebody. I was trying to break it off with him. And the end of March, I seen this other guy.

3:27 Adam Okay. All right. So now what?

3:30 Caller Well, my question is, now he knows that he's the father.

3:34 Drew How did you find out he's the father?

3:36 Caller We went for a DNA test.

3:37 Caller Okay. Wow.

3:38 Adam All right.

3:40 Caller He's coming over to see his son next week. My question is, do I let him know how I feel?

3:51 Caller How do you feel?

3:53 Caller I like him, but I don't want a single...

4:00 Adam Hold on a second. Is it Quaalude Night? Everyone we spoke to tonight is just bad calls, bad lines. Just people with serious, like three Mississippi in between every goddamn syllable.

4:14 Drew Not to take any calls.

4:16 He did say that.

4:19 Adam You think you can tell me what to do, Drew?

4:21 Drew I'm just saying, don't take any calls.

4:23 Adam You don't think I'm the captain of the ship?

4:25 Drew Yeah, I'm just saying, I predicted that one.

4:28 Adam There you go, now you got another call. You got another call, you wanna keep going?

4:32 Fourth call.

4:33 Adam Jenny?

4:34 Drew Yes.

4:34 Adam All right. Let's pace it up, baby.

4:36 Let's go.

4:36 Adam Let's break it down. It's only a two-hour show. You got a kid. Your kid's how old?

4:41 He's two.

4:42 Adam Two. And the guy's coming over. He's 40.

4:45 Caller Right.

4:45 Adam And you guys broke up in the first place because of why?

4:49 Caller Well, he didn't make it known that he was interested in me, so I didn't...

4:52 Drew Look, you didn't have a relationship. You just slept together.

4:54 Adam You just slept together. Okay. And is he single now?

4:58 Caller He's engaged.

4:59 Drew And he has no idea he has a kid with you?

5:01 Caller He knows.

5:02 Drew He knows?

5:03 Caller He knows.

5:03 Drew He's coming over to see him.

5:04 Adam Yeah, that DNA test. He's going to come over and kick the kid's tires.

5:07 Caller Come on, Drew, catch up. Let's go, buddy.

5:09 Adam You're right.

5:09 Let's focus.

5:11 Adam So here's the thing. He's engaged, so I don't know what you letting him know how you feel is going to do when he's engaged to another woman.

5:18 Drew What's he coming over for?

5:20 Caller To see his son. Oh, but we met last month and he told me that he really loves kids and he really didn't want to have a child this way. And he's confused and doesn't know what to do. And he really liked me.

5:37 Adam Well, he really liked you as a friend. I mean, and he's engaged.

5:43 Caller Right.

5:43 Adam All right. So Jenny, yes, here's the deal. You're feeling lonely and vulnerable and all the above. This guy's engaged to another woman. He's confused. He's caught off guard. He doesn't even know he has a kid. He's going to come over there and say hi to the kid. It's just kind of between him and the kid, not really him and you. You guys were one night stand.

6:02 Drew I'm not sure you should really have. I mean, unless this guy's going to be in his life big time, to have a part time father is going to be extremely destructive to this kid.

6:11 Adam Well, how about some money?

6:12 Drew Yeah, he has a financial responsibility, but it might be better to sort of create some sort of fantasy about who his dad was.

6:20 Caller Are you doing this for the kid or are you hoping that you can get him over there? She's doing it for herself.

6:24 Drew Of course, that's what she's doing.

6:25 Caller I'm doing this for the kid, too.

6:27 Drew No, please.

6:28 Adam When she says the kid, she means herself. Like when I say, hey, the kid really had a great radio show tonight. Am I right, brother? The kid's hot. The kid's hot, am I right? That's what they mean when I say the kid. Jenny, here's what you need to do. You need to make sure you get money from this guy. And then I think you need to let him get engaged and get married and you to find another man and create a stable home for the kid, who's me.

6:57 Drew Which is unlikely.

7:00 Adam What's going on? What else is going on? You just confused and depressed? I don't have enough time. Here's what I gave her the speech about picking up the pace. Here's what she needs to do. Or, I don't know, it doesn't seem like Jenny's going to be the world's greatest mom.

7:19 Drew Oh, no.

7:19 Adam I'm worried about the kid. Okay, so here are the priorities. No more kids and see if you can get in a stable, realistic relationship with an available guy who can then be there for the kid.

7:33 Drew Not as you're obsessing about. Just somebody can create a stable, boring life with.

7:37 Adam That's right. Ride it out and hopefully you'll be taken early.

7:41 Caller Here, I got one for you.

7:42 Adam What?

7:43 Caller Speaking to the kid, name this band. The kid is hot tonight.

7:46 Adam That'd be a little lover boy. I've done that song karaoke in karaoke form like 700 times. I did that song so I'm such a bad karaoke singer that we used to have big karaoke parties over at Kimmel's house. And I would do the kid is hot tonight or hell is for children by Pat Benatar. It's really not a dry eye in the house. And one night, it would be one of these things where we'd be eating dinner, having a few drinks, send the kids to bed about 10 o'clock, and then the karaoke would start up. In the middle of hell is for children, Jimmy's daughter, Katie, was probably about nine at the time, came down the stairs crying, make him stop, daddy.

8:28 Caller He said, stop.

8:30 It's like tearing.

8:31 Adam You know, kids get like frustrated and they're young and they just had a bad dream about someone, probably some guy with a megaphone yelling at him or something, literally bawling her eyes out as she came down the stairs, yelling, make him stop. No decorum. No decorum.

8:47 Drew This is why you don't come around my house.

8:49 Adam Yeah. Oh, Drew. I came around your house. The kids were naked.

8:53 Drew Oh, they were two of them.

8:54 Adam Really? They were two, but they were still naked and jumping off the furniture. I was worried that they were going to get hurt. Drew had turned his back to the children. Didn't seem to care about their welfare. I was very distracting. I could barely eat. So I just sort of swore off the visits.

9:12 Caller When is it okay, not okay to be naked anymore?

9:15 Adam What age is? Yeah. Drew, what is the age where you got to put some underoos on?

9:20 Drew Well, you put it on, you know, two is when they're throwing it off, but around eight to ten, they suddenly get incredibly modest.

9:27 Adam So it's got to go on again.

9:28 Drew Oh, my God. I'm in the bathroom. Keep the door locked.

9:32 How dare you? Okay.

9:34 Adam So that's good, right?

9:35 Drew Yeah.

9:35 Caller Yeah.

9:36 Adam But then what about swimming? Like, because, you know, they'll hit the pool up until about ten naked, right? No, maybe about seven.

9:45 Caller Yeah.

9:46 Drew It really, the stuff really, it comes on strong, the modesty part. Yeah.

9:50 Adam But what age?

9:52 Drew Five to seven in there.

9:53 Adam All right. So that's when I head in and grab a beer because the show's over. Yeah. I'm not a pedophile, but, you know.

10:00 Caller Until you're 25 and then you close, start coming off again.

10:02 Adam Then it comes off again. All right. Let's, we got a question for Jeff, by the way. One I'm sure he's never heard before. Someone wants to know what your favorite and least favorite, oh, wait a minute. Who is your favorite and least favorite rock and roll Jeopardy celeb? Oh, I thought it was a survivor question.

10:19 Caller Oh my gosh.

10:20 Adam Who was your, a lot of people don't know that Jeff hosted Rock and Roll Jeopardy.

10:25 Caller Yes, for VH1. There were some good people on there. Mark McGrath was always a fun guest. He's bright. I mean, he did so well.

10:35 Drew The rare rock star who went to college.

10:38 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

10:39 Caller Now he's extra. He's extra.

10:40 Adam He's on extra.

10:41 Caller How fun is that?

10:42 Adam He was great. He was like the grand champion on the show, right?

10:45 Caller He never lost. And you know who else was really funny was Joe Walsh because the idea of taking Joe Walsh and putting him in a game in which he not only has to read a question, but then tell his brain to push a button that will light up. They ain't never going to happen. And after the first commercial, he had nothing. I don't think he had even won.

11:04 Adam I mean, that was like a Saturday Night Live sketch, Joe Walsh on that show. It was like Sean Connery on the Saturday Night Live version of Jeopardy. Like he cannot form a sentence.

11:18 Caller And he said, he goes, yeah, there's just a whole 10 year period there. I don't remember. And you knew he was serious.

11:26 Adam Right.

11:26 Caller It was a decade lost.

11:28 Adam Right.

11:29 Caller Least favorite was the guy from Poison.

11:35 Adam Chumbawamba. Poison.

11:36 Caller No. The guitar player.

11:38 Adam Oh, DeVille.

11:40 Caller Yes.

11:41 Adam Yeah. I'm going to go mean we got CC. DeVille. Yeah.

11:46 Caller He wouldn't shut up and he had this voice like this.

11:49 Caller He thought was so charming.

11:50 Adam Right. Super, super like it. Brooklyn, kind of just crazy voice and obnoxious. Right. I think he's been on this show. So that's your least favorite. Yeah. Who is this?

12:03 Caller Oh, you didn't even know.

12:04 Caller My name is Hans. Hey.

12:05 Adam Hey, Hans. What's happening?

12:07 Caller Not too much, man. Thank you for answering my question. And I had another one for Dr. Drew and for your guest. Do you make any kind of say, you know, allowances for people that are on medication, if they're on Survivor, like if they have some kind of like blood pressure medication or something?

12:23 Drew No.

12:24 Caller Are they allowed to take that?

12:25 Drew No. They're probably gonna be rolled out of the show though, right?

12:28 Caller Yeah.

12:28 Drew They're screened out.

12:29 Caller Yeah. If you, you know, if you smoke, you better get on Nicorette soon. If you, if you're a drinker, you know, you're gonna dry up. There's no help. You get condoms, tampons and sunscreen.

12:41 Adam Oh, you get condoms.

12:43 Caller Yeah.

12:44 Adam Well, I didn't, you know, I don't think we talked about that last time you were here. That's interesting.

12:49 Drew That is interesting.

12:50 Adam Is that, is that just a decency thing or an insurance thing or what?

12:54 Drew They kind of want to have these people having sex, right?

12:56 Adam Well, wouldn't be bad.

12:58 Drew Yeah.

12:58 Caller I don't think anybody's ever had had full on sex, but I think it's a little bit of both. I think it's a liability issue, too.

13:05 Adam I saw the Rupert 69 episode. Well, that was tough to watch, Drew. Did you ever see that? Oh, yeah. Him and he, yeah, he he was on top of Johnny Fair Play. And it was almost unwatchable.

13:19 Caller Well, it was really this.

13:20 Adam You're probably back at camp beating off or downloading some porn or doing some spearfishing or something. But you got to watch the show once in a while. It was controversial.

13:29 Caller I don't remember.

13:29 Adam Very controversial. Yeah. Big big rupert on top of Johnny Fair Play. Yeah.

13:35 Caller Nice.

13:36 Adam I love Johnny Fair Play.

13:37 Caller Yeah, he's great.

13:38 Adam I don't know where the hell he is now, but I miss it.

13:41 Caller That guy is a classic jackass. He is absolutely what he appears to be. You want to punch him.

13:46 Adam Yeah.

13:47 Caller But you want him to get back up because you want to talk to him some more and then hit him and punch him.

13:51 Adam Yeah. Yeah. And what about how often, by the way, for the something something like the All-Stars? I mean, I think it worked incredibly well. And people were into it in a big way, right?

14:03 Caller I guess.

14:04 Adam I don't like it.

14:05 Caller I didn't like it.

14:05 Adam Not pure?

14:07 Caller I just don't think you can play the game with all that personal baggage. These guys now know each other and guys like Hatch or Colby, those guys have no chance because people are irritated that they were so popular. Right. Rupert would be the first one voted out in the next All-Star.

14:20 Adam You think so? Yeah.

14:21 Caller Oh, there's so much envy about Rupert right now.

14:24 Adam Really? Interesting.

14:25 Caller You're America's favorite.

14:26 Adam Oh, interesting. So you're gone. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that. On the other hand, it's really fun to watch a game like, it's like your team when you know your players, you know? And it was really a good idea. And I don't think you do two in a row and I don't think you do one every other year, but certainly four or five years from now, you could pop another one out.

14:50 Caller I really think we'll be on four or five years from now.

14:53 Adam The show, barring, you know, something horrific and a lawsuit, I don't see it ever going away. It's almost, it's like-

15:01 Drew But then again, I don't see that not happening.

15:04 Adam Oh, that's, yeah, yeah, no, no, that's probably this year, but just not saying anything. But it's like a game show in that it's a great format and as long as you have a solid host in yourself and a solid format in terms of the rules and how the show's structured, who, they're always gonna have hardcore fans. I just can't imagine it ever going away. At least, maybe I'm saying that for selfish reasons because I enjoy it so much. All right, let's talk to Dan real quick before we go to break. He has a question for Jeff, which I'm sure he's heard before, but ask again. Go ahead, Dan.

15:38 Caller Yeah, I was wondering, this is for Jeff and Adam. If Jeff, has Survivor ever planned on having a celebrity Survivor and if so, Adam, would you do it?

15:49 Adam Oh, go ahead, Jeff.

15:50 Caller Yeah. Well, in the beginning we did after season two, when it was really big and it beat friends and it was the most watched show, everybody was talking about that. And the problem was lining up schedules with actors who have little hiatus windows, but then they get a movie and they can't promise they'll do it and all that. We probably wouldn't do it now.

16:10 Adam No. To me, the show has a sort of purity to it, and plus since then there's been other attempts at these sort of a celebrity get me out of here kind of debacles that fell flat on their face. Although, albeit you could argue that they didn't actually have Nikki Zuring's sister is not exactly what you call it.

16:29 Caller Well, and they caved into them. Those guys complained and got tense and then they complained and they got food.

16:34 Adam It wasn't... Right.

16:35 Caller But would you do it?

16:37 Adam I would definitely consider it. I'm that big a fan of the show, but it is a hairy show. I mean, the idea, you know, we've just seen the bugs crawling around is enough to freak me out. But now I didn't know you got condoms. So, you know, that I could be back on. All right. I would definitely give some consideration here. The real question is, you wouldn't want it, but I'd be way down on the list of guys you'd be going after. Believe me, you would start at the top.

17:03 Caller Who would be at the top?

17:05 Adam Well, your fantasy answer would be, you know, John Travolta and whoever. But then realistically, that would never happen. And it'd probably be like, what, Bonaducchi said, no, get Corolla on the phone. That's how it would work.

17:19 Caller All right.

17:19 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. Jeff Probst in studio tonight from Survivor. We'll be right back after this.

17:32 Caller This hour of Loveline brought to you by Pajamagram. Shop online at pajamagram.com or call 1-800-GIVEPJS. The one and only, Live 105.

17:49 Well, look at that, everyone.

17:51 Adam It's the best of Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Drew.

17:54 Drew Yeah.

17:54 Adam Who's on tap for tonight?

17:56 Drew Tonight, after having visited with our dear, dear, dear friend, Jeff Probst, we meet with Rob Schneider, another dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, friend. New Found Glory, Good Charlotte, Marilyn Manson. It's gonna be a good show.

18:09 Adam That is a hell of a show.

18:10 Drew But first up.

18:12 Adam Rob Schneider.

18:12 Drew That's right.

18:14 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. And Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Rob Schneider's in studio tonight. He brought us both grenade-size avocados from his own tree.

18:26 Yes, so we have many fruits, my wife and I.

18:28 Adam Those of you who are listening to the show, well, we got a caller from Wisconsin over here.

18:35 Drew Oh, eating her heart out.

18:36 It must be late out there.

18:38 Adam Let's put her on. The point is- Two o'clock in the morning over there? Rob has either picked himself or more likely had his assistant pick a large avocado.

18:46 I got a big tree and I got the-

18:48 Drew A pole? This is a pineapple-sized or papaya-sized avocado.

18:52 Adam Let's put it this way. If I threw this at your head, you would be two dimes. And if I put it in trebuchet-

18:59 I could do some damage.

19:00 Adam Melissa?

19:01 Drew The trebuchet show.

19:02 Adam You're calling from Wisconsin?

19:04 Yeah.

19:05 Adam And how cold is it there tonight?

19:08 Very cold. It's probably like 13 degrees out right now.

19:12 It's crazy here. It's actually warm. It's actually warmed up for them.

19:15 Adam Yeah.

19:16 It was unbelievable last week.

19:18 Like all last week.

19:20 Adam And have you ever seen an avocado?

19:22 Yes.

19:23 Adam Have you eaten an avoc- You've cooked with avocados?

19:27 Yes. Well, not really cook.

19:28 I make dip and stuff.

19:29 Adam Good. By the way, you want to hear what a horrible cook my wife is? I walked in the kitchen one day, saw her peeling an avocado like it was an orange. I was like, Oh my God. She's like, What? I was like, Are you serious? Did you know I was going to walk in? Like I said, when I was masturbating and I said that I knew you were coming in and it was a joke. Is it that kind of thing? She's like, No, this is how you do it. I said, I'm going to kill your mom. This is horrible. By the way, speaking of traumatizing the wife, let me just say one thing. We get to bless in one second. Just remind me of something, Drew. You know, there's like we got every invention we need. It's like there's 32 different kinds of bottle openers, right? Cork pullers, wine bottle, but I don't need 32. I need like two good ones or even just one. When is the toilet timer flusher thing going to come in? My wife has now discovered the third big duke floating in the toilet with her. Here's what happens. I'm on the phone.

20:34 Caller He doesn't want to flush.

20:35 Adam This is what happens.

20:36 Caller You're doing business on the phone, Mr. President. You flush, you don't want people to know where you are.

20:40 Adam You don't want them to know where you are.

20:41 Caller So you stand up and you walk away. And then she comes in.

20:45 And I have a feeling this was not floating.

20:47 Drew It was left. It was a big dump.

20:49 Caller Was it standing straight up?

20:50 Caller She gave me.

20:51 Adam She gave me. It was pointing toward Macca. She gave me this one. She goes, I was in the living room and I was listening to a headphones and I was skipping rope and she came out in the hall and she just looked at me. She was like someone who was landing a carrier on a deck. She did the two fingers. Yes, yes. I said, what? And she goes, come here. She did the waving and I was doing, I'm like, I'm skipping rope. I'm like, what? She goes, and she starts guiding me in. She walks me all the way down the hall through the thing, walks me on the bed. What is this? Then just right down to the toilet. I'm like, all right. It's humiliating. But if I had the foot like.

21:27 Caller Well, you know what? You can have that same sound that you wanted for the cell phone. It's a zing, zing. That zing sound could tell her not to go into the toilet.

21:34 Drew No, it's just a timer for the toilet. How about this?

21:37 Adam How about this?

21:38 Drew Flushing time.

21:38 Adam Here's the deal.

21:39 Caller 30 seconds. All right.

21:40 Adam It's just a pressure. It's a pressure switch, which is after your ass gets down on the seat. And if the cat jumps up on, it's not active. It's got to be more than like 70 pounds. It's the seat, right? Let's make it 60 for Asians. Okay. The ass hits the seat and it clicks on. Now, after the ass comes off the seat, it flushes within five minutes of that time. Maybe two minutes. That's it. That could never, because this happens all the time to me. And I don't know why, but I'm humiliated by it.

22:09 Drew Why are you humiliated?

22:11 Adam Maybe I do. All right. All right, but this is a good invention, right?

22:15 Drew Yeah, it's a great, it should be. Or maybe the way we flush, we push it down and it starts to slowly come up before it actually engages.

22:22 Adam No, but the water, the flush moves the water.

22:24 Caller What you don't want is that loud noise while you're on the phone. Right. Telling the person on the other line, you're not important.

22:30 Adam I don't know what it is about having people thinking you're doing anything on the phone that's humiliating, like they call you at 4.30 in the morning, will you sleep? No, no, no. I'm right. I'm right. What is that in the background? Is that the TV? No, that's nothing. Just a car drove by. Are you smoking?

22:44 Caller No, no, no.

22:45 Adam Why can't you do anything on the phone? You talk to your best friend, but he finds out you're taking a crap. It's a big deal.

22:50 Caller I know. I call my friend, Josh Leib, he's a comedy writer. This guy, I'm talking to him, and all of a sudden I hear something like, ding, ding. Are you in the bath right now? He says, yeah. He's perfectly comfortable. In the tub? In the tub.

23:03 Adam Wow.

23:03 Caller He's in the, hours he's in there, and he's perfectly comfortable being on the phone.

23:07 Adam Wow. I like to talk to his therapist and start using him, Melissa. It's a comfortable, confident man. Yeah. Anyway, you like avocados.

23:18 Yeah.

23:18 Adam It's 13 degrees in Wisconsin, and your question is?

23:22 I have a question. My boyfriend, we've been going together for about three years now. Lately, it's like he's trying to push me away, and I just don't understand why. And then it's like he'll like take fights with me.

23:37 Drew Melissa, here's the thing about relationships at your age.

23:41 Caller Yeah, but like when he leaves me, like I leave him, I get sick of it or whatever, or he'll say, I don't want to be with you, and I just want to be friends. I'm like, okay, that's fine. And I'll get over it for like, I'll leave him alone for like a week, and then he'll call me and be like, I love you, I miss you, and this and that. And then it just cycles back and forth, and it's just like, I'm getting really sick of it, and like I've told him like so many times, I'm just like, you know.

24:05 Caller What is it that you want to do?

24:08 Caller I love him, but I want to leave him, but it's just like when I do, and when I get comfortable like being by myself, you know, after the first week, it's just like, okay, you know, I can do something.

24:19 Drew Okay, a couple of things here. First of all, I think that I love him, but I want to get away from, I don't think that exists after 35. It's like, I'm done, I'm gonna get away.

24:28 That's it.

24:29 Drew You don't fool yourself anymore.

24:30 Adam Now, you pray one of your friend's bones or says she leaves you alone.

24:33 Caller Take it easy on yourself because it's extremely common. Everyone, this is like the guy, he wants something else, the grass is greener, and a week later he realizes, you know, I got this though.

24:44 Drew Does he have sex when he comes back with you? Yes. Okay. We'll stop that. Stop that and he'll stop coming back. That's what he's coming back for.

24:52 Caller It's like, I need it too, you know, so it's like, okay, whatever.

24:57 Adam Okay, but let me make this analogy that Drew, you know, I don't know what the average time, you know, people quit drugs or cigarettes or booze or whatever it is they're trying to quit. It's three or four times before it takes. And the same with relationships. You've been with somebody for three years, especially, you know, she's 20, so she got to get 16, 17 years old. You break up and then you get back and then you break up and you get back. She was like three, two, three times before it actually takes. And as you get older, you just start realizing, hopefully, that when you break up the first time, maybe should just stick with that plan instead of bouncing back. But this thing is sort of, this is what happens when a relationship is sort of coasting to a stop. It's sort of like, you know what I'm saying?

25:42 Caller Eventually, if you don't quit, he's going to quit.

25:44 Adam Like when a car's running out of gas, every once in a while, it catches, and it's like, you know, but it's running out of gas, but it'll catch every once in a while.

25:53 Drew But you know what caused it finally to grind to a halt, right?

25:57 Adam Her love of avocados and living in Wisconsin.

25:59 Drew Somebody does something with somebody. Yeah, somebody finds somebody else. That's the power. It's just boom, now it's over. That's it.

26:05 Adam It would be nice if there was an event that made it sort of, that you couldn't get past. You know what I mean?

26:12 Caller Right, right, but she hasn't set any boundaries in this relationship with this guy. She keeps taking him back, and so he gets what he wants, and then, you know, she's feeling like not the most high self-esteem in the world, so she keeps taking him back. And you just gotta find, if this is this the guy you really want to spend time with?

26:27 No, no.

26:28 Caller No, yeah, okay.

26:29 Adam Yeah, just break up. And look, anyone who's been with anyone from 17 to 20 needs to break up anyway.

26:34 Caller Right, and it's good to, like, be alone for a while and to scare yourself, like, I don't know what I could be alone. It's good to explore the I-don't-know-what-it's-like-to-be-alone.

26:42 Adam Right. Plus, then what happens? You get engaged to somebody you've been sort of on and off with.

26:47 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't want that.

26:48 Adam Yeah, just break up.

26:49 Caller You're somebody you're excited about.

26:50 Adam Paul?

26:51 Yeah?

26:53 Adam A man who shares your passion for avocados. What's up, Paul?

26:56 I'm great.

26:57 Adam Hold on. I don't like this exporting of our fruits and vegetables to other places. You know, it used to be one of our things like, hey, Hawaiians had their pineapples. We had our avocados and we could laugh at other other cities and states. Now everyone's got something.

27:11 Drew Everyone's got everything, though. I've got a patient brings a bunch of Hawaiian papayas every time they come in and they brought a bunch and they are so good.

27:18 Adam It's nice, but if you live in Hawaii, you've got to be angry. You've got to be angry about that.

27:23 Drew If you're Hawaiian.

27:24 Caller It's like tumbleweeds in Hawaii and papaya. They're just everywhere. They just grow like weeds.

27:28 Caller Oh, I love that. Oh, little lime on there.

27:33 Adam What's happening?

27:34 Caller Indigenous originally to Brazil, but really. Once you know what they make fun of is the Portuguese over in Hawaii.

27:41 Adam Oh, really?

27:41 Caller The Portuguese guys, the ones they make fun of, yeah.

27:43 Drew They don't have pollocks in there?

27:45 Caller Pineapple is also from Portugal. I mean, I'm sorry, from Brazil.

27:48 Drew The Hawaiians make fun of the Portuguese?

27:49 Caller Yeah, that's the person they make fun of. It's like the Chinese and the Hawaiians, and they make fun of the Portuguese. I don't know why. Just the way it works out.

27:58 Adam Hey, Paul?

27:59 Caller Yeah.

28:00 Caller Hey. Paul?

28:01 Drew Yeah.

28:03 Adam What's happening?

28:04 Caller Yeah, I can't go to sleep unless I have sex or masturbate.

28:07 Caller Me either. Okay, next call.

28:09 Caller Yeah.

28:10 Adam So what?

28:11 Caller That's yeah, you're a guy.

28:13 Adam What you do?

28:14 Caller You know, it's a choice. If a choice, sure, who wouldn't want to? Are you saying you think you have a problem?

28:19 Caller Yeah, because I have a girlfriend and we have sex like five to six times a day. Come on.

28:27 I don't know.

28:28 Adam It's bogus.

28:30 It's bogus.

28:30 Adam I don't know. Here's how you know it's bogus. No question.

28:34 Caller Yeah.

28:35 Adam I bang the bejeeze out of my girlfriend eight times a day. So do you know what the problem is? It's like you got a boner, you idiot. Jack, awesome.

28:48 Caller Problem is it's too self-congratulatory towards you.

28:51 Adam Here's the reason, guys. Guys beat off before they go to bed, not because they can't do it or they won't, they have to do it or they won't be able to go to sleep. It's because they know it's going to be good eight hours before they can do it again. To me, it's like why you take a leak before you take a drive to San Francisco. You know you're in your car. You got to get one in. It's going to be down for a while.

29:11 Drew It could happen, earthquake or something.

29:15 Adam Meteor. Let me give you an example. You didn't beat off and now like a missing piece of a sky lab goes right through your bedroom and crushes you.

29:26 Caller And there you are.

29:27 Adam It's a tragedy.

29:29 Caller Here's what gets me. Here's what I always think about. Tonight, I was on the way over here. So you know, better pick up a little dinner. So I make my buddy drop, stop at a place and get some food. I'm going by the food section in Wild Oats there. And there's sushi. I'm thinking, if you're going to buy sushi at a supermarket, if it's a case, chances are it's not bad, but if it is bad, no one's going to feel sorry for you. What were you thinking getting sushi at a supermarket? Just like people who go out and do this parasailing in Mexico, and then they get killed throwing rocks. Well, what were you thinking parasailing in Mexico? So I'm always thinking of if what you're going to get sympathy from or not when you do something, sleeping with a Haitian hooker. What were you thinking without a condom?

30:14 Adam Right. And it is true that the fact that you're gone is secondary to what took you out.

30:21 Caller Yeah, yeah.

30:22 Adam I'm convinced I'm going to be crushed by something frozen, a piece of food, like a pot roast.

30:27 Caller Or how about that gigantic, you know, when the ice that comes out of the toilet. Yeah, blue ice. No, the toilet from the plane. Yeah, blue ice.

30:33 Adam Yeah, they call it blue ice.

30:34 Caller Blue ice, I don't know the term. What? It's the stuff, sometimes there's a leakage of the The blue ice, Drew. That'll be frozen at 30,000 feet from a plane and it's the blue, you know, The toilet stuff. From the toilet and it'll actually leak out from the plane and it will drop and be a chunk of ice and could just kill you.

30:52 Adam Yeah, you didn't know that?

30:53 Drew Urban myth.

30:54 Adam No, no, no, it goes, went through a guy's boat and stuff. Well, here's the old thing about planes and boats and all forms of transportation before just a few years ago. Somebody was like, look, we're 30,000 feet in the air, why should we store a big barrel of poop to bring back with us to the airport, for Christ's sake?

31:14 Caller Yeah, we're over the ocean, who's going to know?

31:16 Adam Not bringing macadamia nuts back from Hawaii, we got a big tub of, we got enough weight. First off, there's weight issues on the plane. Secondly, who wants a big tub of crap? Well, just we're over the Atlantic, we're 35,000 feet in the air, it's just dropping the ocean. Cruise liners used to do this too.

31:31 Drew Trains in Europe.

31:32 Caller Trains in Winnebago, it's just a hole, yeah.

31:34 Caller And in trains in Europe, they just dump it out?

31:36 Drew Yeah, it's not a dump, it's just a hole. It's just right out of the trash.

31:40 Adam Yeah, I think this, you know, maybe this, now people never did this back when they just rode bicycles. Did they just, a guy's just crapping, while they're riding that bike with the giant wheel.

31:50 Caller Yeah, but in England, back in the middle ages, what they do, they just throw the crap over the fence. If I don't see it, if the neighbor doesn't throw it back, I'm sure I'm gonna put it.

32:00 Drew All right.

32:00 Caller Until they start throwing it back, and then the plague.

32:02 Adam Yeah, then came the decorative popcorn tin, and then he falls into the toilet.

32:08 Drew All right, I'm gonna break.

32:09 Adam All right, let's take ourselves a little break. Rob Schneider here tonight. We'll be right back. Hey, yo, it's Loveline, the best of Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Let's continue to power forward with what I think is already a little too much show for the kids. I mean, it's free. It's not like we're on satellite radio.

33:04 Drew Yeah.

33:05 Adam You know what I'm saying?

33:05 Drew Yeah.

33:06 Adam It's too much show for free.

33:08 Drew People are having seizures as we speak, I'm sure of it.

33:10 Adam Let's hope so. Everyone enjoy New Found Glory. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Jordan and Chad here tonight from New Found Glory Catalyst.

33:24 Hello.

33:25 Adam Name of the CD. And at the risk of sounding like even more ass kissing is going on toward the New Found Glory CD. Catalyst, good name.

33:34 Caller Thank you very much.

33:35 Caller Thanks.

33:35 Adam Yeah.

33:37 Caller It's just kind of talking about everything that's going on in the music in our kind of...

33:41 Caller Genre.

33:42 Caller Genre.

33:43 Adam Yeah. Look up catalyst, Drew. To me, it means starter. It's like the thing that inactivates things.

33:49 Drew But it lowers the threshold for it to occur. So it increases the probability of something occurring.

33:54 Adam The catalyst.

33:55 Drew The catalyst is an enzyme. And literally, it's an enzyme that lowers the energy necessary to make a chemical reaction.

34:00 Adam But then you have... But you have like a... You know, when you have like a two-part polymer, you have the catalyst and the resin. The resin sits around, and then you add a few drops of the catalyst to it, and pow, it's activated. Yeah.

34:13 Caller There you go.

34:13 Adam That's a fire start of that catalyst. That's what the short white guy hustles on the basketball team is. He's a catalyst. You don't put the ball in the hoop, but he gets the ball, he gets the fast break going.

34:23 Caller Yeah.

34:24 Drew In the biological system, I think of it as bringing things together to make the reaction occur.

34:28 Caller What do you think, with the name, with the cover art, it's all about what's going on right now?

34:32 Adam Yeah, well, it looks great. Look at that. See that big painting. It's really amazing, amazing art. All right, let's... Chris, look up catalyst.

34:42 Drew All right, buddy.

34:43 Caller Something that ignites change.

34:45 Adam Something to do.

34:47 Drew All right, buddy.

34:49 Caller Ask her how to spell it.

34:50 Adam Yeah. Well...

34:53 Caller Place of origin.

34:54 Adam We'll get back to Mike. Mike?

34:56 Drew Mike the junkie with the girlfriend who doesn't want to have sex because she was cheating.

35:00 Caller All right.

35:01 Caller That's why she didn't want to have sex, because she was cheating, right?

35:04 Caller Well, that's what I'm thinking might be going on right now. I know that heroin sometimes causes sexual side effects, but we've always had wonderful sex life. That's why I'm saying it. I've never... And it just suddenly was so drastic about a week ago. And just like tonight, you know, she had a friend come in from out of town. She hasn't seen in a year. So she's out having dinner and seeing a movie with him and yada, yada, yada. And you know, she's always swearing up and down that nothing's going on, but she's always done.

35:31 Drew How long has she been out of treatment?

35:34 Caller True, about three months, about three months.

35:38 Drew She's not going to meetings or anything anymore, nothing like that, right? She's not going to meetings anymore or not talking to her sponsor.

35:43 Caller No, no, nothing like that.

35:44 Caller Is she on heroin again, too?

35:46 Caller Yeah, yeah, she got back on...

35:47 Drew Is she using anything else? Is she using anything else?

35:51 Caller Well, she doesn't do anything else. She's on probation, so she can't smoke pot, which I think is a loaded dung.

35:57 Drew So she can shoot heroin, but she can't smoke pot?

35:59 Caller Yeah.

35:59 Drew She can shoot heroin, but she can't smoke pot?

36:01 Adam By the way, if she's high enough, she'd probably enjoy New York Minute, Drew's new movie with the Olsen twins.

36:05 Drew You're a dick.

36:07 Adam She'd really have to be pretty shot up.

36:09 Drew How would you know when you haven't seen it?

36:11 Adam I read the reviews, Drew. I actually have had people read, had my assistant read me the reviews.

36:15 Drew Not read them to you?

36:16 Adam Not fair.

36:16 Drew Read them for you.

36:17 Adam Not fair. Left this reviewer cold. I'm gonna see this movie, Drew.

36:21 Drew Yeah, sure.

36:22 Adam As soon as it comes out on my eyeballs, so it actually starts showing in my head. All right, now I'm gonna see the movie.

36:30 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah.

36:31 Adam Absolutely.

36:31 Drew No, no, yeah, sure. No, I'm sure. I'm absolutely sure about it.

36:34 Adam I'm big support.

36:35 Drew I got it. Read the book, too. All right.

36:36 Adam Oh, hold on. Hold on a second, Chris. So, Mike.

36:39 Caller Yeah.

36:40 Adam Yeah, you don't want to quit heroin, though, right? No, no, no.

36:42 Caller Oh, no, not really. No.

36:45 Adam Okay. All right. Well, here's the whole thing. I don't want to sound like Pops Carolla here, but all bets are off while you guys are continuously getting high. I mean, the libido, the sex, the cheating, the whole thing.

36:59 Drew His thing is why this week? Well, we know that she's cheated in the past. We know that she's chaotic. She's probably a trauma survivor. She may fluctuate between being hypersexual and completely shut down to sex. She may be cheating again. She may be having a medical problem. Maybe she's now got hepatitis. Maybe she got hepatitis C. Maybe she's got an endocarditis.

37:17 Adam Doesn't constant drug use eventually, doesn't everything eventually break into the libido and the sexual function?

37:25 Drew Absolutely.

37:26 Adam Steroids, whatever.

37:27 Drew Yeah. It usually isn't such an abrupt shutdown as Mike is pointing out. That's why he wants to know the solution now. He doesn't, but the sort of chilling thing for me is that his girlfriend is just an object for him.

37:37 Adam Yeah.

37:38 Drew She needs to function better.

37:40 Adam Yeah. And there's a thing too. I mean, all bets are off. You're shooting junk, right? I mean, it's just.

37:45 Caller Yeah.

37:46 Adam Any. That's sad.

37:47 Caller Yeah.

37:47 Adam All right. So Mike, you're a young guy. You sound like a smart guy. As a matter of fact, being smart sometimes screws you up more because you get up in your head and you think you can handle things and you think you can sort of outwill things using your IQ.

38:00 Drew I know I get endocrinitis. I can get hepatitis. I can die. How's he gonna be a counselor? So anyway, what are you gonna do?

38:06 Adam Right.

38:06 Drew That's just denial.

38:07 Adam Somehow.

38:08 Drew It's blocking the experience of seeing yourself as you really are.

38:11 Adam And the people that really are affected by it are the stupid people. He's an intellectual. He's got it. He's got it figured out. All right. Well, good luck. Let's talk to Melissa. Oh, all right. So catalyst. Go ahead, Chris. You got it there, buddy?

38:27 Yeah, one that precipitates a process or event, especially without being involved in or changed by the consequences.

38:35 Adam And that's what you're going to get if you get the New Found Glory CD, everybody. Do you hear that? Precipitating a process or an event. Read that again.

38:42 Caller And this time, what's number two?

38:44 Adam No, no. Read that one again, Chris. And this time, do it like you're trying to move some product. You know what I mean?

38:50 Caller Really kick it in now.

38:51 Adam Sell it big. New Found Glory CD is coming out called Catalyst.

38:55 Caller And I'll tell you why.

38:58 Um, one that precipitates a process or event, especially without being involved in or changed by the constant consequences.

39:06 Caller Yeah, I'll tell you what.

39:09 Caller I want about 10 copies now.

39:11 Adam Man, I'm like, I'm feeling rocked. Are you feeling rocked, Drew?

39:15 Yes.

39:16 Yeah.

39:17 Adam And half a half a decibel louder, Chris, that's not that that's not bringing something home. Do you know what I'm saying? You want to get behind the mic, buddy? You got to really learn to punch it up a little bit. You know what I'm saying?

39:30 Drew You don't have to, my friend. I'm I'm in with his brother. Oh, yeah.

39:34 Adam Yeah. As long as your brother's given Drew 30 cents worth of free Java once every six months.

39:41 Drew That's what I'm talking about.

39:44 Adam Drew, who likes free crap more than you?

39:47 Caller Nobody, nobody, nobody.

39:48 Caller Our bass player, Ian.

39:49 Adam Really?

39:50 Caller I love free crap.

39:51 Caller We were at a signing today and every signing, you know, every signing we do at a store or label will be like, all right, you can pick out four items, you know, to take from tower to buy six. Ian's four items are like the Sopranos box set. Yeah.

40:07 Caller I got the Battlestar Galactica box set tonight.

40:10 Caller That's going to be worse something, wasn't it?

40:12 Caller Ian picked like the shameless. The $70 Schindler's List special package.

40:17 Adam Oh, he's going right for the box stuff.

40:19 Caller Yeah, he grabs four items, four items. Not four DVDs, four like box sets of ten DVDs.

40:25 Adam Yeah, that box stuff, it's like a brick of heroin. Like, it's expensive stuff. Yeah.

40:30 Caller I'm literally a millionaire.

40:32 Adam I don't even go there. No. Wow, that's smart, though. You gotta appreciate that.

40:37 Caller He said four items. He's like, dude, four items, bro.

40:40 Adam Melissa?

40:41 Caller Hello?

40:42 Adam What's happening?

40:44 Caller First of all, I want to say, Adam, you are my god. I think you're the sexiest, most smartest man ever. I think you're so sexy.

40:51 Drew You're just Anderson.

40:53 Caller Every time I'm on the show, there's one girl that calls and says that.

40:59 Adam Because it probably only happens twice a year.

41:02 Drew Well, I mean, every time I'm on the great magnet again. So we're one of these guys, right? All right.

41:05 Adam Well, God bless you, Melissa.

41:07 Caller And Drew, I just want to say, I read your book, Cracked, and I thought it was awesome. You did a really good job.

41:12 Drew Thank you, Melissa.

41:13 I appreciate that.

41:14 Caller My question is, like, every guy that I've ever liked or all the guys I've ever gone out with have been a-holes to me. And I want to know why. Is there, like, I was molested when I was little.

41:26 Drew You were?

41:27 Yeah.

41:27 Caller A lot of stuff has happened since then.

41:29 Well, there you go.

41:30 Caller Was that it?

41:31 Drew Trauma, trauma, things that are traumatizing and shattering in childhood become source of attraction in adolescence. That becomes, you're, like, drawn to it.

41:40 Caller Yeah, but, see, I'm in therapy now and it's not helping at all. It just seemed to be getting worse.

41:46 Drew It will, it'll take about six to eight years and it will help.

41:49 Caller Yeah.

41:50 Drew It takes a long time.

41:50 Adam You'll be in your early 40s. You'll just pass menopause.

41:53 Drew No, it takes a long time. And during that time, the therapist will help you make some better choices and you'll see what you feel like with that.

41:59 Caller And I have one more question.

42:00 Adam Wait a second. Who molested you?

42:03 Caller One of my friends. He was a lot older than I was.

42:06 Drew How old is he?

42:07 Caller He was 12 or 13 and I was like six.

42:12 Adam All right. That's bad, but you can overcome that.

42:14 Drew Yeah.

42:14 Adam You stick with therapy.

42:16 Drew What was your other question?

42:18 Caller I've been having a lot of panic attacks lately, like short breath. And I could, all I can think about is just, you know, when I was little and just a lot of stuff has happened and I can't seem to, you know, get out of that frame of mind for like an hour.

42:34 Drew All right.

42:34 Adam What should you do, Drew?

42:36 Drew Well, are you seeing a psychiatrist in addition to a therapist?

42:39 Caller Yeah.

42:40 Drew What are they treating you with?

42:42 Caller Prozac and Wellbutrin.

42:44 Drew Okay. You may talk, be sure to talk about the panic because both of those medicines can make you sort of prone to panic. So maybe a switch ahead.

42:53 Caller Christina?

42:54 Caller Yes.

42:55 Caller You're 19?

42:56 Caller Yes.

42:56 Adam What's happening?

42:58 Caller Okay. Every time a guy goes down on me, I always feel like I have to pee.

43:02 Caller Like it feels really, really good.

43:05 But like I'm scared I'm going to pee on him.

43:07 Caller Is that weird?

43:08 Caller Some guys like that stuff.

43:09 Drew You might. Have you had an orgasm when the guy was down there?

43:12 No. Never because I can't let myself get to that point because I'm scared I'm going to pee on him.

43:15 Drew Why don't you talk to the guy about it? He'll be all right as long as he gets a little bit of warning.

43:20 Caller Tell him to bring like a two liter jug.

43:23 Drew Because some women do ejaculate and some do pee. That's what happens.

43:28 Caller Isn't that strange when he's down there?

43:30 Caller I can't bring myself to it.

43:33 Drew But if he reassures you that he'll be all right, just relax.

43:38 That's a good guy. I can't even say the word pee without him getting grossed out.

43:42 Drew That's not good.

43:43 Caller He's like one of those. You can't say anything like that.

43:46 Caller That's a common thing. Everything is for pee, not common, but it happens.

43:51 Well, hold on a second.

43:53 Caller Hold on, Christine, quiet down. The guy's going down on you.

43:57 Adam How squeamish can he be?

43:59 I know, that's true.

44:00 Adam All right, go ahead and broach it with him. Tell him it feels real good. It feels so good. It's like you're being tickled or something.

44:06 Caller You know, you can wet your pants.

44:08 Adam You know what I appreciate when I'm going down on a lady who's going to whiz a little heads up. If you ever watched the war movies, the guys in the machine gun nest, one guy's working the machine gun, the other guy's feeding a cartridge or the banana clip in there. When he gets it locked and loaded, he does it on the top of the head.

44:24 Caller You know, do that move.

44:26 Adam That means it's time to start firing behind. They do it with the bazooka. Guy loads it in the back, pat on the head, trying to fire. I need that.

44:35 Drew It's time to go.

44:36 Adam Yer's coming.

44:37 Drew Here it goes.

44:37 Adam That's time. Time to pull out.

44:39 Drew Locked and loaded. Here we go.

44:40 Adam That's right. That's right. Someone could get hurt. Yeah, that tap on the head the bazooka guy gets. He's down on his knee, you know.

44:48 Drew What's your move?

44:50 Caller My move. You just like the sound of the tap.

44:53 Caller I like the sound of the tap.

44:54 Adam I do. Bazooka guy's loaded.

44:56 Caller Oh, come on, Drew.

45:00 Adam I do the shoulder roll. I do the slow motion shoulder roll. Yeah, yeah. And in the dive. And the big explosion behind me. Do that move.

45:10 Drew He sends you.

45:11 Adam Yeah. Usually something freakishly off a pier that's exploding. The big explosion when I'm going in the water. Yeah. New Found Glory here tonight. Yeah. See, it doesn't work. There we go. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everyone, it's Loveline, the best of Loveline that is. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Drew.

46:18 Drew Yeah, we're happy, we're not here. And not only that, but the show is representing tonight most of our dearest, dearest of friends.

46:23 Adam That's right. Where are you right now, Drew?

46:25 Drew I'm in Sun Valley, Idaho.

46:26 Adam Sun Valley, Idaho. Oh, yeah. Beautiful. Yes. Let's keep moving forward with the best of. And this is a little band called Good Charlotte. Yo, everybody. I'm Adam. Yo, Benji both here from Good Charlotte. You guys were pretty pissed about us playing their song last break. Thanks a lot. And we had to coax them both back into the studio because they tore up the lobby pretty good.

46:55 Best Of You know, TV out the window.

46:56 Adam Yeah.

46:57 Best Of All right. Enough.

46:58 Adam Hey, hey, Anderson, seriously, I don't want these guys to flip on me. Hey, I got to sit in the studio with these motherfuckers. You understand? I don't want to crack in my skull. Sorry, guys.

47:09 Best Of Sorry.

47:09 Adam It's OK.

47:10 Best Of Give me a second.

47:11 Adam They just want to make sure that nobody heard the song. Liz.

47:16 Caller Yes.

47:16 Adam You're 17.

47:17 Caller What's up?

47:18 Caller First of all, I'd like to say that I love you guys. And I watched the man show tonight. It was so awesome.

47:23 Adam Thank you.

47:24 Which one was it?

47:25 Caller The one where you did a bit about being a gasoline boy.

47:29 Adam Oh, yeah. I was at the gas station. Hold on a second. Drew, do you remember when we were doing media training? I sit around, I think, over the weekend. I stew about this over the weekend. When we were first starting Loveline, the TV show, and our idiot, idiot, and the horrible, and these publicists, horrible, rotten, rotten, vile people were telling us we had to kill a Saturday doing media training, and we had to do mock interviews and answer questions and be trained how to answer questions in an interview situation. What did I say, Drew?

48:01 Drew Kiss, beat it.

48:03 Adam Waste of time. Let's go. I stood up in the middle of it and I said, let's go. What are we doing here? It's beautiful outside. Let's leave. But no, not Drew.

48:12 Caller No, he wouldn't listen.

48:13 Adam He wouldn't listen. He wouldn't listen.

48:15 Drew That was, which one is that? I remember the weekday one.

48:18 Adam Media training.

48:19 Drew Up in the upstairs there.

48:20 Adam Upstairs.

48:21 Best Of So you've done media training.

48:23 Caller I thought they only did that for boy bands.

48:24 Adam Drew did media training. I just sat there like an idiot.

48:26 Drew No, no, I just remember, man, what the hell was it that he asked you?

48:29 Best Of He was in there with the camera.

48:31 Drew I wouldn't talk.

48:31 Best Of You should start a boy band of like doctors.

48:33 Drew Well, first he wouldn't talk. And then he finally went, what do you think about?

48:36 Adam The point is, is Drew, will you just start listening to me? Just listen to me, please.

48:41 Drew I'm better about it now, am I not?

48:43 Adam Liz?

48:44 Caller Yes.

48:44 Adam You're 17, I'm sorry. So you love the Man Show, yeah.

48:48 Caller I love your rants anyway. Okay, love Dr. Drew, I like Good Charlotte, they're really cool.

48:54 Adam Thank you.

48:54 Caller Thank you.

48:55 Adam We're all covered.

48:56 Caller Yeah, that's great. Go ahead. Okay, I masturbate like once or twice a week. And then I have orgasms, I have sometimes two or three. And that's really great. And I'm okay with that. But sometimes when I go to the bathroom, like especially when I'm at school, I have these like little mini intense orgasms. And I make little funny noises when I'm in the bathroom.

49:16 And that's kind of embarrassing.

49:18 Best Of And you can't control that. Funny noises like you're making on the phone?

49:22 Caller No, not that, like, you know, just sometimes like, like something like that or like, or, you know.

49:28 Best Of And you're telling us for what reason? Like, what are you calling to ask? You're undoing why this happens. You're just trying to, like, entertain some guys over the radio?

49:37 Caller No.

49:38 Best Of I'm just playing with you. Do you wear a uniform? That's all I, no, I'm just kidding. That's a joke. No, I think it's a bad question.

49:46 Drew What's that list?

49:47 Caller I go to commuter college, so, yeah.

49:49 Best Of Seventeen?

49:50 Caller Yeah.

49:50 Best Of Do you graduate early?

49:51 Caller Yeah, I graduated in June.

49:52 Best Of Smarty pants.

49:53 Drew So, what's the deal? Well, you're asking...

49:55 Caller I'm asking if that's normal, or if I need to be checked out for that.

50:00 Drew No, you don't need to be checked out for it. I bet you have that happen sort of like for the day or so after you've masturbated, is that right? You're more likely to do that then?

50:09 Caller Yeah, more likely.

50:11 Drew It's sort of an irritation that happens. Yeah, it's very common. It's not a big deal.

50:14 Best Of It happens to me all the time.

50:15 Drew And the fact that you're multi-orgasmic is what this is about. You're one of those lucky few.

50:20 Best Of I hope mom's not listening.

50:21 Drew Yeah, hi mom. And so, you're blessed.

50:24 Caller Yeah, nothing you can do about it.

50:26 Drew Good for you.

50:27 Best Of Good for you. The Australians would say, good on you.

50:29 Adam Yeah. They'd like to do that. Gabby?

50:33 Caller Yes.

50:33 Adam You're 23?

50:34 Caller Yes.

50:35 Adam What's up?

50:36 Caller Hi. Well, basically, my boyfriend and I pretty much broke up because he thinks I'm cheating and I'm not. I never have. I'm extremely faithful.

50:49 If you're listening, Scott.

50:51 Caller That's right. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore.

50:54 Caller You know it.

50:55 Caller Yeah.

50:56 Caller Well, I mean, I can understand where he's coming from. When we first were going out, we were very sexually active. And now it's gotten to I just don't get turned on anymore. It's not him. I'm just not able to get horny anymore. And when we first met, I had just been involved in stripping.

51:19 Caller And I did it for about five years.

51:22 Adam Five years.

51:23 Caller Yeah.

51:23 Caller And I heard the money's good.

51:25 Best Of So it wasn't just in the...

51:26 Caller You know what? The money is so good, but it's so hard on your soul.

51:29 Adam I was kidding.

51:30 Best Of I was kidding. I don't want to hear about it.

51:31 Adam It is good.

51:32 Drew It's hard on your soul.

51:33 Caller It's really hard on your soul.

51:34 Drew Tell me what happens.

51:35 Adam We got to wear the stiletto heels, Drew. It's rough.

51:38 Caller It's not about your feet.

51:39 Caller It's really hard on your inner person, you know? And I...

51:43 Drew What do you experience? Well, let's just chop into the thing. What is it that's difficult? What does it do to you?

51:48 Caller Um, it really makes you feel like a piece of me and you...

51:52 Drew How does it make you feel about men?

51:54 Caller Well, I haven't had very good experiences with men.

51:58 Caller All right.

51:58 Adam But hold on. I would argue that stripping doesn't make you feel bad or hate men.

52:03 Caller It's wanting to strip. Give your previous position to hate guys already.

52:07 Drew What it is is that you're sexually abused when you're growing up or physically abused. Which was it for you, both?

52:13 Caller Um, it was... Well, I don't know what you'd consider. It was more involved with a couple of boys that were a little older than I was, and they just kind of humiliated me.

52:22 Adam All right. That's a start.

52:24 Drew Yeah. So it's probably something even happened before that. So anyway, be that as it may. Be that as it may. So then a way of trying to empower herself is to get involved in this situation where she is the focus of the attention using her sexuality control men. Then they hate men for participating with them in this thing that makes them feel so demeaned. So it's a never-ending cycle.

52:46 Adam Some of them.

52:47 Drew Some of them.

52:48 Caller They're the ones that just want to party.

52:50 Drew Yeah.

52:50 Adam Those are the ones I see.

52:51 Best Of You know what's interesting is every girl who's ever had some kind of like, whether they stripped or whether they were like crazy party bisexual girl or any of those girls that are crazy like have that kind of alter like the stripping lifestyle or whatever. Girls gone wild. They never have, there's always something more to their, there's always something more, you know what I mean?

53:11 Adam Oh, yes. It's the opposite of what they show.

53:15 Best Of Yeah.

53:15 Adam Which is ironic.

53:16 Best Of Like they show the power, like anger. Right. But really there's like some going on like, you know.

53:21 Adam Hey, Gabby?

53:22 Caller Yeah.

53:22 Best Of All right.

53:22 Adam So which place did you work at, by the way?

53:25 Caller I'm not going to say that. Why? Because I don't think that's relevant. I don't want to say it.

53:30 Drew The point is that there's a piece.

53:31 Best Of You don't want to give shout outs?

53:33 Adam Well, hold on a second. I'll tell you whether it's relevant or not.

53:37 Caller All right.

53:38 Adam It's not relevant. You're lucky, you got to catch a bullet there.

53:41 Caller Blah, blah, blah, blah, Gabby coming to stage.

53:45 Adam She got manhandled by a couple older guys when she was 12 years old. Feeling bad about herself, doesn't like her dad. But don't worry, Jets, that's gonna translate next. Your horny lap dance is for you.

53:55 Caller Show you appreciate her.

53:56 Best Of Two for one for the next five minutes.

53:58 Adam Jade, Jade, stage five, Jade, stage five. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, businessman's lunch, blah, blah, blah.

54:03 Drew All right, Gabby.

54:03 I told him to play corn.

54:05 Drew But there's a couple things there. One is that that whole sexual piece of you. It's dissociated from everything else. Because it's now re-traumatized and cut off from, it's not integrated into who you are. And then you have all these kind of conflicted feelings about men, and your boyfriend obviously represents that. So you're sort of dissociated from yourself. So it's time to get a little help.

54:25 Adam Get a little therapy and just stop locking horns with your boyfriend about who's cheating and who's not. You're not doing it. I don't trust this guy completely. Does he wear cowboy boots?

54:37 Caller I just, you know, I've heard several people tell me.

54:40 Adam Does he wear cowboy boots?

54:41 Caller No, he doesn't.

54:42 Drew What about wife fetus? Several people tell you. Several people tell you.

54:45 Caller They tell me that usually when someone accuses you of something like that, they're the one that's doing it. Yeah.

54:53 Drew Sometimes. At the very least, it's what he would do if he were in your place, probably. And so, you know, thinking like you, he figures you must.

55:00 Adam Oh, okay. But here's the whole deal. Gabby, don't get focused on him. Just focus.

55:05 Caller I mean, should I just, if he's like, can't trust me, I should just be able to get home.

55:09 Adam Don't get over it. But here's the deal. You need some therapy.

55:12 Drew period. period.

55:13 Best Of He probably does, too.

55:14 Drew Yeah.

55:15 Adam Yeah. But stop focusing on him, okay? So. Shut up. That's enough. Jesus Christ. Just get some therapy. Look, you know, people are screwed up, get hooked up with people that are more screwed up than they are, so they don't have to look at themselves. It's like, hey, I found the one person that's more effed up than I am, so I can spend all my attention on them, and I'll never have to look in the goddamn mirror.

55:35 Best Of I've done it so many times.

55:37 Adam I was talking about myself too.

55:38 Drew There you go, me too.

55:39 Adam Michael?

55:39 The Binge.

55:40 Caller You're 19?

55:42 Yep.

55:43 Adam What's up?

55:44 Well, I've been around with this girl for about six months now, and she only likes it, you know, we've done it the regular way once, that was the first time, and during that, she asked me to do it that way, and ever since then, she hasn't really wanted it the other way. I was just wondering if it was me, her, or what?

56:05 Drew It's her, that's her, that's what she likes.

56:07 Adam How, is she a big gal?

56:09 No, not really.

56:10 Adam Not really, are you a small guy?

56:12 No, I'm a...

56:14 Drew How dare you? No, I am.

56:16 Adam I was saying, I wouldn't take that as a compliment, if she was like, I can't feel it when you're over there.

56:21 I can't have an orgasm unless something is in my ass.

56:26 Adam True testimonial. All right, so that's the way she likes it. Do you like it that way?

56:31 I mean, it's cool or whatever, but I prefer the other way. But I mean, whatever she likes is cool with me. As long as she's satisfied, it's all good.

56:39 Adam All right. Well, why don't you tell her, though, maybe that, say, baby, maybe, say this for a special occasion.

56:45 Best Of Let's mix it up a little bit.

56:46 Adam Yeah. Holidays, Easter, things like that.

56:50 I've hinted it or whatever. It's like, hey, have a good touch.

56:57 Best Of So I've heard about this other way that they got, that the kids are doing it here.

57:02 Adam Hey, did you see that article in Cosmo? There's this other hole they found.

57:07 Best Of She's leaving like a porn letter out.

57:09 Adam Oh, look, look at what they're doing. This doctor found a second hole. They called, apparently, it's the one babies come out of. I just heard, I was just talking to some friends and anyway, Kurt said maybe we should try that hole.

57:25 Caller Kurt.

57:26 Adam I mean, if you don't want to, that's cool.

57:29 Caller Yeah, you got a hint around.

57:31 Best Of Oh boy, start leaving statistics laying around, you know?

57:34 Adam Yeah, boy, this might dork smell. Wonder what that is. Well, anyway, how do you want your eggs?

57:41 Drew Once for dinner, yeah.

57:47 Adam Don't be scared to tell her what you want.

57:49 Best Of That's the way it is. I mean, you obviously don't have that open of a relationship if you can't talk about it.

57:53 Adam Yeah, that's right.

57:55 Drew You're just asked to have a... You can't talk about how you like it... .a panoramic.

57:58 Adam Yeah.

57:58 Drew Aside from that, they're very close.

57:59 Adam They have an old-fashioned relationship.

58:01 Drew Yeah, very old-fashioned, very closed-down, very Victorian, Victorian.

58:05 Adam That's right.

58:05 Drew Of course, it's come off, it's like...

58:07 Caller Kim?

58:09 Drew Oh my God.

58:10 Adam You're 19? What's up?

58:12 Drew What does my life degenerate into?

58:14 Caller I have a question.

58:16 Best Of That's gonna cost extra.

58:17 Caller In August, I fell from a zipline and I broke my pelvis.

58:22 Drew A zipline? What does that mean?

58:24 Caller It's like a rope that's connected from a tree.

58:27 Caller With the pulley?

58:28 Caller Yeah.

58:28 Drew Oh, wow.

58:30 Caller And I lost my grip and I fell and I landed on my right side.

58:34 Adam Were you supposed to make it to the lake kind of thing?

58:37 Caller Actually, it was homemade and it was just down to the ground.

58:40 Adam Just down to the ground?

58:42 Caller Yeah.

58:42 Adam And how high were you when you lost your grip?

58:45 Caller 20 feet.

58:46 Drew Wasn't James West the only one that ever traveled on those things?

58:49 Best Of So you made your...

58:49 Adam Yes, he started the whole zipline thing and then James Bond and then any guy named James, you said, is the main form of transportation. They're hard to figure out, though, saying...

58:58 Best Of When I was 10, a pulley fell on my head.

59:01 Adam A pulley fell on your head from where?

59:02 Best Of I looked it up to the clothesline. We found this old thing in like the dump, you know, like the garbage and big pulley and this big like 20 pound pulley and we hooked it up to the clothesline.

59:12 Caller And it fell on your head?

59:13 Adam Is that what happened?

59:14 Best Of I just want to try it, I'll try it.

59:15 Drew Yeah, that's what happened.

59:15 Best Of It fell right on my head.

59:16 Caller There you go, a Korean punk, Korean rock now.

59:19 Adam Kim?

59:19 Caller Yeah.

59:20 Adam All right, so you broke your pelvis.

59:22 Caller Yeah, and so I'm on crutches for three months and like I can stand and everything. I'm supposed to be like non-weight bearing on my right side cause that's where it broke most of the way.

59:31 Drew Oh, so you, do you know what part of the pelvis you broke?

59:34 Caller I broke the right side and they had a pin and plate it and then I broke the front part.

59:39 Drew The pubic ramus?

59:40 Caller Yeah.

59:41 Drew The ramus broke and then sort of the pelvic, like the sort of fin on the side of the pelvis cracked, right?

59:46 Caller I was just gonna say that.

59:47 Caller And like I can stand on it and everything and it's okay.

59:50 Drew How long were you in bed for?

59:52 Caller About three weeks.

59:53 Drew Yeah. That's, that hurts.

59:56 Caller Yeah, it kind of sucked really bad.

59:58 Adam No, I would have hate to have been there. I would have been laughing and then eventually I would have stopped laughing and then it would have been like, oh no, you would have been, you were screaming bloody murder, right?

1:00:08 Caller Actually, I just slept a lot.

1:00:11 Drew No, no, no, when it first happened.

1:00:12 Adam I mean, when it happened.

1:00:13 Best Of Your boyfriend's name isn't Joe, is it?

1:00:15 Caller No, no. Actually, I didn't cry, I don't know. There was people around and I have like a high tolerance for pain.

1:00:22 Adam Good. Wow. That's, that's knowable. So anyway, you want to know when you can have sex?

1:00:27 Caller Yeah.

1:00:28 Adam Tonight.

1:00:29 Drew No, it's going to be at least six weeks, I would think. You're going to have to ask the order.

1:00:33 Adam It's been six weeks.

1:00:34 Drew Has it been six weeks now?

1:00:35 Caller Yeah, it was August 10th.

1:00:37 Drew And you're three months on non-weight bearing, right?

1:00:39 Right.

1:00:40 Drew Take your time.

1:00:41 Adam Yeah. Do you have a guy in mind? One of the orderlies?

1:00:46 Caller Wouldn't that be nice? No.

1:00:49 Caller You got a boyfriend, though?

1:00:50 Caller Yeah.

1:00:51 Best Of The man's servant.

1:00:52 Adam Really?

1:00:52 Best Of I think it was the last guy.

1:00:53 Adam Well, also, couldn't you sort of see how it felt?

1:00:57 Drew Yeah, as you say, you'd have to try sort of positioning yourself. I would talk to the orthopedist, I would.

1:01:03 Adam You would?

1:01:03 Drew Yeah. For sure, six weeks, for sure. But beyond that, I'm not clear. How old are you?

1:01:08 Adam She's 19.

1:01:09 Best Of You've got plenty of years ahead of you. Just take your time.

1:01:11 Drew At 19, you've got to wait, you know what I mean? Yeah.

1:01:13 Caller My other question was, earlier, you were talking about this girl, and she was hospitalized when she was five or something. And now she's helpless or whatever. But I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 16, and ever since then, during my whole time in the hospital and all my treatments and everything, I was really passive, and I just let him do whatever to get it done. And ever since then, I've kind of been passive, and I don't really say no. I don't know. I have a hard time saying no.

1:01:43 Drew Well, it's interesting that imagine if that had happened to you when you were eight, how ingrained into your makeup. Five. Five in her case.

1:01:49 Best Of Are you doing all right now?

1:01:51 Caller Yeah. I go into the doctor's all tomorrow.

1:01:53 Drew But at your age, at least you have an insight and an observation of how passive you become. You got to learn your way out of that.

1:02:00 Adam She's like, she's so passive, she wouldn't hang on to the rope.

1:02:03 Drew She's so passive, she wouldn't complain about the misery she was in. I wonder what the cancer was.

1:02:11 Adam She's gone now, isn't she?

1:02:13 Drew No. Kim, what kind of cancer was it?

1:02:16 Adam Hand cancer.

1:02:17 Caller It was acute lymphomic leukemia.

1:02:20 Drew Lymphocytic leukemia.

1:02:21 Caller Yeah, lymphocytic.

1:02:22 Drew Wow, at 16, that's old for that.

1:02:24 Caller Yeah.

1:02:25 Drew Wow.

1:02:25 Adam So how's that doing?

1:02:26 Caller I've only had it for two months.

1:02:27 Drew You all right now? So you had the whole brain radiation and all that stuff? Oh, boy.

1:02:31 Caller Yeah. It was like August 30th of this year was like one year off treatment for me.

1:02:36 Drew You're doing okay?

1:02:37 Caller I am.

1:02:37 Drew It's a curable cancer.

1:02:39 Adam All right.

1:02:39 Drew Thank you. congratulations.

1:02:40 Adam All right, Kim.

1:02:41 Caller Thanks.

1:02:42 Adam Take care of yourself.

1:02:43 Caller All right, thanks.

1:02:44 Adam Good times.

1:02:45 Drew Probably what, she probably was at risk for, she may have had some bone density problems.

1:02:48 Best Of Rest that pelvis too.

1:02:49 Adam Yeah.

1:02:49 Drew For cancer treatment.

1:02:50 Adam Yeah. There she was a little weakened and then she took the spill off the zip line. And zip line is one of the things that seems like the world's greatest idea, but there's two things that can happen. Either you can let go when it's at the top or you could not let go and just go blasting into whatever it's tied to.

1:03:07 Caller Yeah.

1:03:08 Adam You got to have it hanging over a lake or something.

1:03:11 Best Of Who the hell gets a zip line? Where do you get them?

1:03:14 Adam She just take a piece of rope, thread a pulley through it.

1:03:17 Drew Yeah.

1:03:18 Adam Then put a piece of rope through the pulley and hang on to the pulley and just go.

1:03:22 Best Of What are you doing Saturday? Let's soak up a zip line.

1:03:24 Adam Thinking about doing that. She didn't hook it up. You know that was a guy's work. Yeah. Felicia?

1:03:30 Hi.

1:03:31 Adam You're 15?

1:03:32 Caller Yeah. Hey, I'm the other loser on the phone, Anthony.

1:03:35 Adam All right, Anthony.

1:03:36 Caller Yeah.

1:03:37 Adam What's up?

1:03:38 Caller Nothing much.

1:03:39 Caller Yeah, I just wanted to know what the song Wondering was really about.

1:03:45 Best Of Wait, I'm really confused. Two voices just came up.

1:03:48 Drew Yeah, just to answer the question. The other two animals say just beat it too.

1:03:51 Best Of OK, it's about my dog.

1:03:55 Caller Really?

1:03:56 Best Of Yeah.

1:03:56 Drew That's awesome.

1:03:57 Caller I love dogs.

1:03:58 Caller How is it about your dog?

1:04:00 Best Of Well, figure it out. Read the lyrics, buddy. Beat it.

1:04:03 Adam Yeah.

1:04:04 Best Of No, really.

1:04:05 Adam No, that's hardcore. That's hardcore. You're punk now. No, this guy's run hold for 102 minutes and you told him to beat it. That's hardcore. And don't apologize and don't backbite. Don't go, no, no, no. seriously, that's cool. That's not hardcore. You don't care. Let me tell you what hardcore is. You don't spit on the audience and then go wipe it off their face. You know what I'm saying? You spit on them. Julia, 35.

1:04:30 Caller Yes.

1:04:30 Caller Hey, Julie.

1:04:32 Caller I just had some questions.

1:04:33 Caller My daughter stays up all night in her room. I thought for two nights and then it's like the next day or she just wants to sleep all the time and won't go to school. Oh, boy. It's just like grouchy.

1:04:46 Caller How old is she?

1:04:47 Caller She's 14.

1:04:48 Drew What do you mean won't go to school?

1:04:50 Caller She won't wake up to go to school.

1:04:52 Drew Don't you want to get that evaluated?

1:04:54 Caller Yeah, I do.

1:04:55 Adam Where's dad? Dad must not be around.

1:04:57 Caller Dad is basically, he's on drugs himself.

1:05:00 Drew Okay. So she has a history of addiction in her family. So there's about a 50% probability that that's what we're dealing with, just with that history.

1:05:07 Adam Also, she could just be really angry about dad and depressed and all that.

1:05:11 Drew Absolutely, but there's a 50-50 chance that she's got that gene going. And when anybody with that genetic history, if in fact she has it, starts behaving strangely, you gotta think of things for her.

1:05:21 Adam Well, there's a 50-50 chance of her having genes, that gene, but only a 25% chance of her actually being in the dope out of the 50%. See what I'm saying, Julie?

1:05:31 Caller Yeah, I totally understand. I didn't know if I should take her somewhere or...

1:05:35 Caller Yeah, absolutely.

1:05:37 Adam Where's drug addict daddy?

1:05:39 Caller Out and about.

1:05:40 Best Of Well, there's... I would just tell her, you need to get out more.

1:05:43 Adam Not living at home?

1:05:45 Caller Yeah, she's here now.

1:05:47 Adam No, I'm trying to figure out drug addict dad. Yes, I will, but would you listen to me for a second? Your husband, her dad, he's out and about.

1:05:57 Caller Yeah, he's not at the home anymore.

1:05:59 Caller He's just out running wherever he's at.

1:06:01 Best Of Are you still married to him?

1:06:03 Caller No.

1:06:03 Adam So he's...

1:06:03 Caller Okay, so he's gone.

1:06:06 Adam Hold on, let me talk to her. Is he out of the state?

1:06:09 Caller I have no idea.

1:06:10 Adam Okay, but don't give me that. The out and about answer sounds like he ran down to the corner to grab a six pack. That's true. True, true. All right, Julie. So no contact with him whatsoever. No. Okay. What's your daughter's name? Jackie. All right, put Jackie on.

1:06:24 Caller Wake her up and put her on the phone.

1:06:25 Drew It's nighttime. She's up.

1:06:27 Adam Oh, yeah. Hey, Jackie.

1:06:31 Caller Hello.

1:06:32 Adam Hold on. Speaking of Jackie, reminds me. I got to take care of business when I get home. Julie. I mean, Jackie.

1:06:38 Caller This is Jackie.

1:06:39 Adam Yeah. So you're 14.

1:06:41 Caller Yeah, I'm 14.

1:06:42 Adam You're a little depressed, are you?

1:06:45 Drew I guess.

1:06:46 Adam Yeah.

1:06:47 Caller Angry.

1:06:48 Adam Angry.

1:06:48 Drew What's happening that you're not going to school?

1:06:53 Caller I'm going to school.

1:06:55 Adam Well, that you don't get out of bed sometimes when your mom tries to wake you up.

1:07:00 Caller Yeah.

1:07:00 Drew How come? What's up?

1:07:04 Caller I don't know.

1:07:05 Adam You're freaked out now, I know, because you're on the radio and stuff. You doing any drugs?

1:07:09 Caller No, I don't do drugs.

1:07:10 Adam Yeah, sure. Your mom's standing right there holding a rolling pin. Of course, I wouldn't do drugs either if Julie was there holding a rolling pin. But listen, Jackie, here's what I want to say overall, because we're not going to get to the bottom of what you're doing and all this kind of stuff with mom hanging by the radio. Here's the deal. You're probably a little angry at your father.

1:07:31 Caller Yeah, I actually am.

1:07:32 Adam And you should be angry at your father because he abandoned the family. And that doesn't mean you're a bad person. I know that's the way it feels in a way, like, oh, you could have done something. It means he's a bad guy. It's all to do with him.

1:07:46 Drew Nothing to do with him.

1:07:47 Adam You know, it's like a war. It's like an American guy kills a Japanese guy in World War II, nothing personal. Just firing a gun, that's his job. It's not that he hated his family or anything. This is it. Your dad's a bad guy. He's gone. Now, don't punish your mom for your dad being a bad guy.

1:08:05 Drew Don't punish yourself.

1:08:06 Adam And don't punish yourself, but especially your mom. Your mom, I know you get in a lot, you got a lot of anger, you got a lot of feelings, you guys argue a lot. Your mom loves you. She's trying to do what's best for you. You're on the same side. Trying to take care of you. She hung in. She's the parent that's stuck by you. Your dad took off. He took the easy route. Your mom, she stood by you. She's done the best she could with you. She's calling our show because she's concerned about you. Please understand that your mom loves you and she's trying to do some good for you. And please help her help you.

1:08:36 Drew Don't screw with my dad.

1:08:39 Adam That's good enough.

1:08:40 Take a little Vicodin tonight. Take some codeine, smoke a little heroin.

1:08:43 Adam Drew, Drew, please, no.

1:08:45 Drew But Jackie, don't screw up now. Listen, don't miss school. Don't get so depressed that you put yourself into a hole that you can't get out of. You're sort of on the launching pad of life right now. Yeah, but she's setting up a trajectory. But my point is go the next step. Don't just crap on yourself and your mom. Go ahead and take care of yourself. If you are depressed, get treatment, get looked at. Get things taken care of so you can get on that launching pad and have a nice lift off.

1:09:08 Best Of What's with dads?

1:09:09 Drew They suck.

1:09:10 Best Of They're just bad. Don't be scared to go talk to someone.

1:09:14 Adam Here's the part that really angers me about the dads is they never really get punished and instead of having kids that hate their guts and resent them their whole life, all they have is these daughters who long idealize them and long for them and they become these horrible teenagers and they sit there and scream at their poor moms who are like we've been working two jobs and trying to take care of them.

1:09:36 Best Of I did it.

1:09:37 Drew So your dad took off?

1:09:38 Best Of Yeah, our dad took off when we were about 14. He finally left fully when we were 16, I guess, yeah, like late 15, early 16, like he took off for good. Totally didn't know where he went. Still don't know to this day. Haven't seen him talk to him. And I mean, it's giving me about 75% of my song matter, subject matter to write about songs. So that's a good thing. But other than that, it was pretty much all bad that came with it. And it took me, I was hard on my mom. You know, same situation as Jackie and Julie.

1:10:06 Drew Do you, would you crap on her because you felt she was somehow, should have protected you from that?

1:10:10 Best Of No, I don't even think about it. We were just, I hated everyone. I hated every kid that had a dad, every kid that, you know, I was just pissed at everyone.

1:10:18 Adam So your dad's dad, you guys' dad, just split.

1:10:24 Best Of Christmas Eve.

1:10:25 Adam Christmas Eve, 16.

1:10:27 Best Of Got in a fight with my mom finally the last time.

1:10:30 Adam 16 years old, you guys were 16.

1:10:32 Best Of Yeah, I guess we were, yeah, 16.

1:10:34 Adam All right, and this guy had been around from zero to 16.

1:10:37 Best Of Yeah, well, at 14 he left twice. Our mom, she's, our mom, she, like, she's got lupus.

1:10:44 Adam Oh, really?

1:10:44 Best Of So that was, he started, I guess that was a big frustration for him. So when things got really bad, when she'd go in the hospital and stuff, he'd take off.

1:10:52 Adam So he eventually bailed, and if not, no contact since. Not at all. He's not made an effort.

1:10:59 Best Of When finally it took, like, by the time, when he left, finally when we were 16, it took by the time when I was 20, 20 for the courts to finally give my mom a divorce.

1:11:09 Adam Right.

1:11:10 Best Of So I was like, you know what, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be a man and go to court with my mom and try to, like, support her. And I saw him then, and he was like, as far as, like, right here, and he walked by and didn't say anything.

1:11:21 Drew Oh, my God. That's it.

1:11:23 Adam Let's see, guys, you know, guys.

1:11:25 Best Of Don't do that, people.

1:11:26 Drew Guys do not grow up big, you guys.

1:11:28 Best Of I think he felt like a, like a, cause we got, when he left, we got evicted from our house and our whole family just fell apart.

1:11:34 Caller Look, he's a shameful prick.

1:11:35 Drew So don't, whatever you guys do, do not grow up to be that.

1:11:38 Best Of Oh, no, no.

1:11:38 Drew Do not be that to women.

1:11:39 Best Of Like, my whole goal in life, I mean, I really love what I'm doing. I love, you know, punk rock. I love rock and roll. I love being in band touring. But my whole goal in life is to have kids.

1:11:49 Adam And not sell records. Remember that.

1:11:51 Drew Yeah.

1:11:51 Best Of Don't buy a record. Don't buy a record. Don't do it.

1:11:54 Adam Wow.

1:11:54 Drew Because you got to be freed up to go raise a family.

1:11:56 Adam I could not imagine raising you two beautiful children.

1:12:01 Best Of We had four kids. Four kids.

1:12:02 Drew My brothers.

1:12:03 Caller Bouncing baby boys.

1:12:04 Drew And how are they doing? The brothers and sisters.

1:12:06 Best Of They're, um, we all have our own share of, like, you know. They're great, though. They're great. Great people. You know, they've turned into really great people.

1:12:13 Adam Older or younger?

1:12:14 Best Of I mean, if you've met my brother or younger sister. If you've met my brother or my sister, everyone says this to me, that he is the best guy, she's the best girl I've ever met. You know, like, they're the best people.

1:12:24 Adam They can be great people and still have.

1:12:25 Best Of We've all got our problems, you know. We're lucky enough to have songwriting. I'd suggest therapy for them, and they don't listen to me. But, you know, I have therapy in my own songwriting. It's very, like, a big release. I suggest therapy for myself. I just, I'm not willing to pay for it. For Binge, too. He needs to go. I'm just kidding.

1:12:38 Adam Drew, uh, I suggested therapy for Drew. He said, all right, and he suggested it for me. And I said, fine, and we pay for each other's therapy.

1:12:45 Best Of See, my problem is I want to go to the lady on The Sopranos, but she's not available.

1:12:50 Adam Let's take ourselves a little break. Good Charlotte, our guest tonight. See, that's what I love about this show. You're heading down one path and then pow, pow, pow. Let's take ourselves a quick break and we'll be right back.

1:13:04 Caller If you need help, hang up, and then die, die.

1:13:08 Loveline.

1:13:09 Caller 1-800-LA-191.

1:13:11 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:13:24 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. And this is the best of Loveline.

1:13:32 Drew The best of the best of the best.

1:13:33 Adam As engineer Anderson says, it's the best from the last three or four years.

1:13:37 No, just the last year for this week. Next week, last year.

1:13:40 Caller Last year, this week.

1:13:41 Adam All right. It gets confusing, but the point is-

1:13:43 Drew It's great.

1:13:44 Adam It's enough show. It's at least 100% more show than we normally do.

1:13:48 Drew Right?

1:13:49 Adam Right?

1:13:49 Drew Well, as witnessed by this upcoming guest.

1:13:51 Adam That's right. Mr. Marilyn Manson. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline and Adam.

1:14:00 That's Dr. Drew.

1:14:01 Adam Phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew, Boardshore Resort. Marilyn Manson in studio tonight.

1:14:08 Drew Hello.

1:14:09 Adam Surprise to him. Surprise to me and us, but not to Drew.

1:14:13 No, surprise to me.

1:14:15 Adam A surprise to everyone.

1:14:16 Drew Surprise to me.

1:14:16 Adam All right. Well, that producer, Ann, doing her job. Tried to call me, but couldn't get hold of me.

1:14:22 Drew Shocking.

1:14:22 Caller That's shocking.

1:14:24 Adam I know.

1:14:24 Drew Given the fact that you never turn your ringer off, you always check your voicemail. It's pretty habit.

1:14:29 He's like rock and roll.

1:14:30 Adam Yeah. Here's the whole thing.

1:14:32 Caller Too cool for school.

1:14:34 I'm more responsible than you.

1:14:35 Adam Well, here's scary, but probably true. But if you think about it, when the phone rings, there's a 10 percent chance it's going to be something you want to hear. 80 percent chance it's going to be something you really don't care about. Then the 10 percent where it's going to be some tragedy or something like, you know, grandma passed. It's the middle of the night kind of thing. But really, if you think about it, what are you going to do? You know what I mean?

1:15:01 Caller Don't you have caller ID?

1:15:02 Drew Be there for your family.

1:15:03 Adam Everyone's got the private thing on.

1:15:04 Caller Be there to support your family.

1:15:06 Caller But you got to get that thing where you have to unblock it.

1:15:10 Adam Yeah.

1:15:10 Caller That's the way to go.

1:15:11 Adam I like that. I should do that.

1:15:12 Caller Drew, do you have that?

1:15:14 Caller Yeah.

1:15:14 Adam You know two things I want to talk about before we're...

1:15:16 Caller And you can make yours say something that's not exactly you. Mine says something very...

1:15:22 Adam Oh, really?

1:15:23 Caller Drew would enjoy it. I don't know. Should I say it? Will that somehow identify me?

1:15:27 Adam No. I don't know, but no.

1:15:29 Caller I'll have to change it. I'll tell you later.

1:15:31 Adam All right.

1:15:31 Caller It's a psychiatrist that did a lot of drugs.

1:15:34 Adam Oh, really? You mean Timothy Leary?

1:15:37 Caller No. The penis guy.

1:15:40 Adam Kinsey?

1:15:41 Drew There's lots of those guys.

1:15:42 Caller Freud.

1:15:43 Adam Oh, Freud. Oh, yeah.

1:15:44 Caller Thanks. Now I got to change my number.

1:15:46 Adam You know what we did? See, we went too deep.

1:15:49 Drew Yes, yes.

1:15:50 Caller You went deep like a kid with a girl.

1:15:52 Drew Yeah, we went too deep.

1:15:53 Adam Yeah, we should have just kept it easy and obvious. But let me just say this. It was, when's the last time we saw a potato bug? Remember this huge, they're like beetles. They've got this big round heads and those pinchers, mandibles in front of them.

1:16:10 Caller They're massive. Not in any time recently.

1:16:11 Drew I had a dream about one of those last night.

1:16:13 Caller You did?

1:16:15 Adam You had a dream about a potato bug last night?

1:16:17 Drew Yeah, a potato bug meets tarantula.

1:16:18 Adam Was that a wet dream? Really?

1:16:20 Drew No, it was just lying dead on a floor somewhere and I had to clean it up and I thought, how am I going to clean this thing up?

1:16:24 Adam Potato bugs have the heads that are round like grapes, you know?

1:16:28 Caller They're almost like a dog.

1:16:30 Adam They're small, they're like Paris Hilton's dog.

1:16:32 Drew Two huge teeth.

1:16:33 Adam They're mandibles.

1:16:34 Caller They're called Jerusalem crickets.

1:16:35 Adam I have crickets, yes. I call them Jerusalem, I would call them potato bugs too. I hadn't seen one since my childhood. I found one today and they're so big that they actually make noise when they walk and you can't crush a potato bug.

1:16:52 Drew That's what my dream was about.

1:16:53 Adam You got to blow it up or something. Like you have to harpoon it.

1:16:56 Drew You can't pick them up, they're too huge.

1:16:58 Caller You set them on fire.

1:16:59 Adam I should have. What I ended up doing was like...

1:17:02 Drew Potato bug god damn.

1:17:03 Caller Or put salt on them.

1:17:06 Adam Would that work? Putting salt on them?

1:17:09 Caller I don't know but my keyboard player told me that if you're ever worried about someone when you're having sex, he'd squirt a lemon on a girl when he was going down below. And if she screamed...

1:17:21 Adam Open wound. Open source.

1:17:23 Caller Close for business.

1:17:24 Adam That's right.

1:17:25 Caller Checks in the mail.

1:17:26 Caller Yeah.

1:17:26 Caller Is that a good... What do you do? Do you like that method?

1:17:29 Adam And a little lemon on the calamari.

1:17:31 Caller You know what I'm saying?

1:17:31 Drew I was just thinking the oyster. Yeah.

1:17:33 Caller Nothing wrong with that. Not for flavor.

1:17:36 Drew For safety. Incidentally.

1:17:38 Adam Yeah. But unfortunately, I think it's mucosal and I think it's like squirting a lemon in your eye.

1:17:45 Caller You need a cut in your eye.

1:17:46 Adam You'd still scream.

1:17:47 Caller I know that I poured Jack Daniels down my chest once and when it hit downstairs it didn't feel good. So you can try that too.

1:17:55 Adam The sack is a sponge. I got gasoline on my sack once. Burnt me. Burnt my eggs real good. But the point is is.

1:18:01 Drew I knew saw in the sack is a sponge.

1:18:03 Caller I wanted to. Burnt my eggs is good.

1:18:05 Adam I wanted to. I was trying to get rid of this potato bug. And all I could do is sort of try to get it to go up on this little piece of wood and then I was going to fling it sort of out of the room. But I ended up shooting it like a hockey puck, you know, and I just kept it just slide and bang and it was something and I just don't feel bad for it. But you can't crush it. I didn't know what to do with it.

1:18:24 Caller Put it in the freezer.

1:18:25 Adam I couldn't get it. I couldn't get it.

1:18:27 Drew What did you end up doing?

1:18:28 Adam I ended up getting it and flinging it into the neighbor's yard.

1:18:31 Drew Oh, perfect.

1:18:32 Adam Yes. But I just thought, you know, that's the biggest insect there is and not just size-wise, but just volume, like water displacement test potato bug, about the size of a raccoon.

1:18:44 Caller Yeah.

1:18:44 Adam Just crazy.

1:18:45 Caller It's like the size of when you're 14, your penis.

1:18:48 Adam Yeah. Oh, for me.

1:18:50 Caller Or other people.

1:18:50 Adam That's erect. That's erect. But the round, the big round head with the eyes, big eyes there in the mandible there. All right, Drew. Drew had a dream about a potato bug.

1:19:01 Drew And saw a raccoon at Magic Mountain.

1:19:03 Caller So what's going on here?

1:19:05 Adam It's all coming together.

1:19:06 Drew Living inside your head?

1:19:07 Adam It's all coming together. Marilyn had a wet dream.

1:19:10 Drew Magic Mountain.

1:19:11 Adam Drew went to Magic Mountain on Friday, had a fantastic time. Did a little free fall, did you?

1:19:16 Drew I did.

1:19:17 Adam Good times. I'm too scared to do that one. I can't take it.

1:19:20 Drew Oh, but now they've got right there. It's just crazy.

1:19:22 Caller I went to Japanese Disneyland, and all of the songs were in Japanese. It was very disturbing.

1:19:27 Adam The Small World and stuff like that?

1:19:29 Caller Oh yeah.

1:19:30 Adam In Japanese.

1:19:30 Caller Oh yeah.

1:19:31 Adam And they had that ride where the guy got on top of the chick and spun around while he was in her.

1:19:35 Caller The country bears. Yeah.

1:19:37 Adam The helicopter on it.

1:19:38 Caller Yeah. The line for that one was really long.

1:19:41 Adam Oh yeah.

1:19:43 Caller All right.

1:19:44 Adam Elizabeth.

1:19:45 Caller Hi.

1:19:46 Adam You're 26?

1:19:47 Caller Yeah.

1:19:48 Adam You have vaginal itching?

1:19:51 Caller Unfortunately.

1:19:52 Adam Yeah. Maryland's base player would squeeze a lemon on.

1:19:55 Caller It's not. I'm not the father.

1:19:56 Caller I don't have herpes. Don't need to worry about that.

1:19:58 Drew Let's go. What's the deal here, Elizabeth?

1:20:01 Caller Well, back in March, I found out that I had HPV.

1:20:04 Drew Right.

1:20:05 Adam And I had warts.

1:20:07 Drew Warts.

1:20:08 Caller Yeah.

1:20:09 Caller So I went to the gyno, everything. They did a coloscopy on me. And then they did thyro on me.

1:20:15 Drew Cryo.

1:20:16 Caller Yeah. And then ever since then, I've had bad vaginal itching. I went back to the doctor. She thought it was a bacterial infection. I was on antibiotics. That didn't work. So I went back again. And she gave me another prescription. And then I had the same problem. And now I don't have insurance. So I'm waiting till I can go back to see her.

1:20:38 Drew Or you want any hormones, birth control pill, anything like that?

1:20:41 Caller I'm not, no.

1:20:42 Caller Do you wear jeans?

1:20:44 Caller I do.

1:20:45 Drew Have you tried anti-yeast medicine? Yep.

1:20:49 Caller I've tried almost everything. I have bought the Vagacil anti-itch cream. That helps sometimes, but not all the time.

1:20:57 Drew Are you continuing to be sexually active with your boyfriend?

1:21:01 Caller The guy that gave it to me, I haven't seen him for two years.

1:21:05 Drew So you're not having sex with anybody? And your jeans? Yeah, your vagina's not getting exposed, any latex or anything?

1:21:16 Caller Nope.

1:21:17 Drew So we've tried the anti-bacterial...

1:21:19 Caller What kind of underwear? Just out of my own curiosity.

1:21:24 Drew All that's heading for Yeast though. She's tried the anti-yeast cream.

1:21:26 Caller Victoria's Secret undies, you know?

1:21:29 Caller Really? That might be the secret.

1:21:31 Adam Hey, oh, yeah, let me say this, by the way. I don't know why it reminded me, but once a year, somebody models a $10 million Victoria's Secret bra.

1:21:40 Caller Also, question. I'm sorry, don't even...

1:21:42 Adam Sure, go ahead.

1:21:43 Caller Shaving? Un-shaving?

1:21:45 Adam Shaving. Shaving.

1:21:46 Caller Shaving.

1:21:47 Adam There you go, Drew.

1:21:48 Caller Look that up in the literature.

1:21:50 Caller I get a little itch when I shave, Drew.

1:21:52 Adam You shaved down there, Marilyn?

1:21:54 Drew Well, but I'm looking, I've just pulled out an article that they published in the New England Journal a couple of months ago about chronic vulvovaginal cancer. It's a chronic yeast infection. And this article talked about how frequent that is. For some women, it takes quite a bit more to clear it up than just the usual yeast creams. They're actually recommending a medicine called fluconazole or diflucan. And that's something you gotta get from a doctor or a clinic.

1:22:20 Adam I also have at the coin op car wash, I think, too. You just hit the button.

1:22:23 Caller Can Planned Parenthood help me?

1:22:26 Drew Yeah, Planned Parenthood. And you can make sure you document exactly what you've had done, what you've tried. But weekly diflucan has been associated with a cure for this kind of thing, if it is in fact due to Canada.

1:22:39 Adam That's Canada. Yeah.

1:22:40 Caller Canada?

1:22:41 Adam That's what they call it. Canada, right? Yep. That's yeast, right?

1:22:45 Drew Right.

1:22:46 Adam All right.

1:22:46 Caller So the whole country of Canada?

1:22:48 Drew Oh, Canada.

1:22:49 Adam Oh, Canada. Where does that come from?

1:22:53 Caller Yeast?

1:22:53 Adam No, Canada.

1:22:55 Drew The name?

1:22:55 Caller Yeah.

1:22:55 Drew Oh, boy.

1:22:57 Caller Candid. It's got the word candid in it means don't tell.

1:23:00 Adam Chelsea?

1:23:01 Caller Yeah. Hey.

1:23:02 Adam You're 16?

1:23:03 Caller Yeah.

1:23:04 Adam You have a corset question for Marilyn Manson?

1:23:06 Caller Yeah.

1:23:08 Caller Oh, how can I help?

1:23:09 Caller Okay. I was wondering like, okay, first, I want to congratulate you on your engagement.

1:23:15 Caller Thank you.

1:23:16 Caller Yeah. And yeah, I think you're awesome. And I have you in my room and it's huge. And I love you.

1:23:24 Caller Thank you.

1:23:25 Caller And you wear a corset? Yeah. Sometimes.

1:23:29 Caller It hurts, huh?

1:23:30 Caller Not really. I feel good.

1:23:33 Adam Oh, does.

1:23:33 Caller Yeah.

1:23:34 Adam And I imagine maybe it'd feel like we're in a back, like, you know, the guys who work at the lumberyard have their lower back brace thing. Maybe it's that.

1:23:41 Caller Well, when Dita wears it, she gets it down to 16 inches. Her waist.

1:23:46 Caller Yeah, I know.

1:23:47 Caller I met this guy, Mr. Pearl, who makes corsets. He's very famous. His waist is 12 inches, but he can't take the corset off because your body shapes to it. Yeah. Well, that's really serious.

1:23:57 Adam Can't take it off. Is he asleep in it?

1:23:59 Caller It's uncomfortable to take it off because his organs hurt.

1:24:02 Caller It hurts your back like it hurts a lot.

1:24:03 Adam So if you take it off, your liver will come out, your urethra or something?

1:24:07 Caller I don't know, but that's extreme corsetry. So you were going to ask?

1:24:14 Caller I wanted to know which ones work the best.

1:24:17 Caller Dita?

1:24:19 Caller You know, I'm not the expert as much as she is, but I think it's a matter of finding one that's made properly. The ones that are made...

1:24:29 Adam That have different kinds?

1:24:30 Caller Yeah, not the ones that are like, fast produced?

1:24:33 Caller No, you know, and it doesn't have to be expensive, but the ones that are made by someone who knows what they're doing, because it has to be a corset maker that makes them. What would you give them? And the boning that's in them is very important, that it's correct, so that you can move in it. It's not, you know, it gives you damage.

1:24:51 Adam You get them online or something?

1:24:53 Caller You could find antique ones on eBay, but there's a lot of different places. I think if you wrote to Dita, at dita.net, she would be the best to ask, because I always have worn medical ones, and I wear them improperly, kind of down around the hip.

1:25:12 Adam What do the medical ones do?

1:25:14 Caller I wore it because I like the way it looked. But it's good for your back.

1:25:17 Drew Yeah, it's actually to hold the abdominal herniated in, and things like that.

1:25:20 Adam Hold your guts in?

1:25:23 Drew Yeah.

1:25:23 Adam What are they called? Like a truss?

1:25:24 Drew A truss down lower, but of course it's real.

1:25:27 Adam Oh, really? I wouldn't mind sporting one of those.

1:25:29 Caller You should get me one of those.

1:25:31 Caller A lot of guys wear them underneath their business suits, probably, with lingerie.

1:25:37 Adam I also like those neck rings, too, that those tribes wear in the Amazon jungle.

1:25:42 Drew To make their necks long?

1:25:43 Adam Yeah, and women get that real long neck going. Get that going.

1:25:46 Caller I don't like the long neck thing.

1:25:48 Adam Well, get that with the corset. You got a woman there. You got a woman. All right, let's take a little bit of a break. Marilyn Manson in studio tonight. New CD is out. It's Best Of. We'll hear something else off of that and talk to him after this.

1:26:10 Caller Love Line will be right back.

1:26:11 Caller So get your problems ready. Ready.

1:26:38 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Marilyn Manson, joining us in studio tonight.

1:26:47 Caller Yeah.

1:26:48 Caller Always good to see Marilyn.

1:26:49 Adam Got a new CD out, it's a best of, it's called Lest We, or Ye Forget.

1:26:57 Caller Lest We Forget. Oh yeah, which is a kind of a war memorial, you know, lest we forget or we repeat the past. Right. Kind of my musical document of the war that I've struggled through the 10 years to get from, you know, to where I am.

1:27:16 Adam It's been 10 years, right?

1:27:18 Caller Bush 1 to Bush 2, yeah.

1:27:20 Adam Well, I'm talking about you personally, like, I mean, you hit and all the controversy began.

1:27:26 Caller I started the band in 1989.

1:27:29 Adam And, but.

1:27:29 Caller 1990.

1:27:30 Adam Became prominent national notoriety. What year? Ninety-four, ninety-five?

1:27:37 Caller In my head or in the rest of the world?

1:27:39 Adam In engineer crisis.

1:27:40 Caller I think, you know, Sweet Dreams was a best clip on MTV and then Beautiful People. But the real problem started around the Inside Christ Superstar when there was a lot of Christian groups creating a tremendous amount of false rumors that really put my life in danger. So I became completely nihilistic and went, you know, I figured if I'm gonna get shot, I'm at least gonna enjoy it.

1:28:12 Adam It's interesting. You never, I mean, you know, maybe I'm being naïve, but Drew, if he's honest, will probably agree with me, which is, I never really thought about the danger part of what you were doing. I mean, we just assumed, oh, these these fundamental wackos are pissed off or low. Look at Maryland selling tickets.

1:28:29 Caller We literally, besides the protesting part, which is right, not as hard. There was so many death threats, at least a hundred every show. We would have maybe 35 police with bomb dogs every night.

1:28:43 Drew If you forget, you were in Oregon State when I got attacked by a guy from outside of a team down a stadium to rush the stage.

1:28:50 Adam Really?

1:28:51 Caller You didn't get you?

1:28:52 Caller No, sorry.

1:28:53 Adam Son of a bitch.

1:28:54 Caller But it's a straight, this tour.

1:28:55 Adam I get my money back for that guy.

1:28:57 Caller This tour is kind of bringing back a lot of those memories because we're playing some of these songs we haven't in a while. But I'm actually gonna be in Denver on election night. And last time I was there.

1:29:07 Adam Columbine.

1:29:07 Caller Was when I did the interview for Bling for Columbine.

1:29:10 Adam Well, I got a couple of thoughts. So one is, yeah, I forgot about the part where you, you know, Larry Flint's in a wheelchair because people didn't like what he did, you know? And he was supposed to be in the ground. And he just, he's lucky and he's in a wheelchair. So I never really thought about that aspect of what you do. The other part is, is as I was talking to someone in a smaller way, but some of the same, some of the same details, which is like when we did the Man Show, we get a lot of complaints and then eventually you just become the Man Show or you become Howard Stern or you become Marilyn Manson, which is then expected out of you and you get to do it. You know what I'm saying?

1:29:53 Caller Right.

1:29:55 Adam Because now you're Marilyn Manson, that's what you do and Howard Stern does what he does in a smaller way when we did the Man Show. Oh, that's it. And Loveline, that's what you do too. At the beginning, it's always what gives you the right and who the hell do you think you are and what do you know and we're gonna do this. And now you just become that. So, do you feel that?

1:30:12 Caller I knew that when I did it and that's what I wanted. That's what I still want.

1:30:17 Adam But you don't get nearly as much crap now as you did 10 years ago, do you?

1:30:23 Caller It's different. It comes and goes in different ways. And this tour is called Against All Gods because it's now being me seems less evil in some ways considering war being raged over religion and things like that.

1:30:40 Adam I would argue though that it's you are accepted the same way Howard Stern is accepted now and you're just become part of the landscape. You become the fabric of the culture and you're supposed to do right.

1:30:53 Caller The two words, Marilyn and Manson, were my way of summing up American culture. Now that I'm part of it, I think people don't understand me more necessarily, but they see me in some ways, especially after Bowie for Columbine, as an artist and not just an undescribable entity that's causing problems. They see me as a...

1:31:14 Adam And he's made, you know, he's not like a flash in the pan, like a sister soldier or someone like that, you know what I mean? He's stood the test of time.

1:31:25 Caller People have been saying for ten years, aren't you worried that your image is overshadowing the music? And I'm always like, I'm worried that the music's overshadowing my image. Well, it's all in one because what I do is not just one thing. It's how people react to it. It's this interview. It's the way I look.

1:31:44 Adam Is there a performance art element of it? Do you ever look at it that way?

1:31:49 Caller Yeah, I look at it like Salvador Dali. He was like, his best creation was being Salvador Dali. I like it. It's like being a kid, living a fantasy, not being ashamed or afraid to do it.

1:32:02 Adam Right, right. Well, good times.

1:32:04 Caller And you do that in your own way, too.

1:32:06 Adam Yeah.

1:32:06 Drew Oh, he does.

1:32:07 Adam Yeah.

1:32:07 Drew Masturbates and naps. It's like being a kid again.

1:32:10 Adam I get freaked out by potato bugs. Yeah.

1:32:12 Caller They're gonna run around.

1:32:13 Drew I think I'm very excited about the pictures we just looked at.

1:32:16 Caller You really get conditioned to think that that's wrong. You know, to daydream, to fantasize, to do those things.

1:32:23 Adam Yeah. Look, I never really thought about the aspect of going out on stage and thinking that some religious, fundamentalist wacko, the same guys that are shooting abortion clinic doctors might put the crosshairs on your forehead.

1:32:38 Caller Oh, yeah. Well, I know that every day I step out of my house at that that could happen.

1:32:43 Adam But now not is is it as acute as it was eight years ago? I mean, there must have been a time when it was really a much more serious threat.

1:32:52 Caller Antichrist superstar, I think, was a little bit more to the point for them. So it inflamed them immediately.

1:32:58 Adam Right.

1:32:59 Caller I think, you know, a lot of different reasons for choosing personal Jesus, but I'm sure they're not real thrilled about that either.

1:33:04 Adam Right. And is it is it one group in particular or is it just that whole population?

1:33:11 Caller I think I've managed to piss off every type of people in different ways. But that's the point.

1:33:17 Adam Right.

1:33:18 Caller If everyone loves you, you're not making anything that's powerful.

1:33:21 Caller Well, to me, you hear that, Drew?

1:33:23 Caller It has to be hate and love. All of it. It's not extreme.

1:33:27 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:33:28 Adam Look, it's the same with everyone hates you. Yeah, it's bad, too. But it's the same with women, though. The worst you could have is someone is just sort of indifferent. Like when you like some chick best. She either hates you or his head over heels for you, which you don't want to say, huh, who?

1:33:43 Caller Oh, I don't know.

1:33:44 Adam I never thought about it. That's the worst.

1:33:48 Drew Yes.

1:33:48 Caller Yes.

1:33:48 Drew The need to exist is man's fundamental drive.

1:33:51 Adam All right. Don't get heavy.

1:33:52 Drew It's just other people.

1:33:53 Adam Hold up, Nietzsche. We got to take a break. Marilyn Manson in studio tonight. Now, Marilyn was just, you're going to hang for an abbreviated period of time. But you'll hang for one more break, won't you?

1:34:07 Caller Yeah.

1:34:07 Adam Or longer.

1:34:08 Caller I didn't know. I have an appointment with Dr. Hunter S. Thompson later, so I have to.

1:34:12 Adam Oh, really? Tonight? You're meeting Hunter S. Thompson tonight?

1:34:18 Caller I might, if I could.

1:34:19 Drew Get done here in time.

1:34:20 Adam Oh, okay.

1:34:21 Caller Before 7 a.m. All right.

1:34:23 Adam We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Wow, never felt so good at the end of the show, Drew. I want to thank Marilyn Manson and Good Charlotte, New Found Glory and Rob Schneider, and Jeff Probst. What a show. And you, of course, for listening. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:35:17 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or the station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, December 20, 2004