Episode 1000668001279

6:30 Caller Oh, fuck me.

9:49 Drew Hello, could we be on the air now?

9:54 Adam I'm going to use the F4 just to play it safe. August 31st, 2004.

10:21 Drew When they were last year?

10:23 Adam I guess when the record came. That feels too soon.

10:27 Drew I think it might have been 2003.

10:32 Adam Right? Is this Jacoby?

10:41 Drew Yeah.

10:42 Adam And Jerry Shattucks? Jacoby Shattucks. You look at this name and you want to go, I'm not quite sure what's going to come out of my mouth. Jacoby Shattucks.

10:56 Drew Oh, I saw Rabbi Shmueli tonight. Did a little thing with him.

12:08 We are experiencing technical difficulties. Okay, gang, we're gonna have to pull together on this one. Ally, flashlight. Jared, get munchies. Miles, check and see if the extension cord is plugged in. Madden, pizza. Everyone else, please remain calm, and please stand by.

13:35 Papa Roach If we all leave the room.

13:39 Adam If I go, if I get some more coffee, I'm just gonna heat up.

13:49 Papa Roach They're all sitting there like, oh, it's a great show. That's funny.

13:54 Drew Can you guys, yeah, he's explaining it. Can you guys hear us in there? You can hear us, but we don't, yeah.

14:01 Papa Roach Yeah.

14:02 Drew There's no show, so.

14:05 Papa Roach Yeah, well, just our luck.

14:07 Drew We'll just wait.

14:07 Papa Roach That's all good, man. I'm ready to go home tomorrow.

14:10 Drew Where's home?

14:23 Okay, have you thought about maybe checking out some of our sister stations? Oh yeah, we got some good ones. If you like the news and stuff, we got something at 7:40 a.m. If you like oldies and crap, we got 99.7 FM. If you've grown tired of loud guitars and screaming vocals, but you love Cheryl Crowe, try our Annoying Kid Sister at 97.3. And finally, if you hate everything cool and are currently stuck in a dentist chair, try our Empty Tenement at 93.3.

14:52 Adam That's it.

14:53 Drew Adam, you've already scared the young ladies enough. Introduce them, please.

14:57 Unacceptable.

14:58 Adam Here we go. I'm just looking at the tape on the headphones over there, and Laura wants to know if they fit. If they don't fit, they're not. When I realized we don't have headphones, I can't stand this place anymore. This size fits all. It's all good. Mila Kunis and Laura Prepon are both here from That 70s Show. Tuesday. It's 8 o'clock, fifth season, into syndication now. That's where the big money is, right?

15:25 Sure.

15:25 Yeah. Not as much as you think, but we're not complaining.

15:29 Adam Now, why isn't it as much as I would think?

15:32 I don't know.

15:33 A lot of people when they hear about syndication, they're like, dude, you're making so much money.

15:38 But really, the residuals get less and less as they come.

15:41 It's about three years worth of decent money, and then after, it's about 20 cents an episode.

15:45 But we're not complaining though.

15:47 No, it's nice. It's very nice.

15:48 Adam Yeah. But if you created the show or wrote the show or whatever.

15:54 Then you get banked.

15:55 Will you have points in the show and you're like a producer or something?

15:59 We don't get points. Let's just point this out. If you have points in the show, like producers do and creators do, that's when the show goes into sedication with points, then you're like made for life. But right.

16:11 Adam Lean up on your mic a little bit there.

16:13 Okay.

16:14 Adam Yeah. Now you're on.

16:19 Two times.

16:21 Adam I'm sure you guys were both recognized quite a bit anyway, but did it go up a lot instead of spending a half hour?

16:27 The posters are like everywhere.

16:29 Drew Yeah.

16:30 Bizarre posters with kiss that don't really make sense.

16:33 Drew Yeah.

16:33 Caller With roller skates.

16:35 Adam After all, every night.

16:36 Drew But that makes you guys go like this. Does you notice that more people seem to be noticing you? Yeah.

16:41 Now that we're syndicated, I've gotten it a lot.

16:44 Lauren notices it. She's like, I just, I don't know.

16:47 Well, people used to look at, in my case, people used to look at me and be like, is that her?

16:51 But then when they hear me talk. No, wait, wait. We were at an angels game. When the guy goes up to him and goes, wow, you really look like the girl from the 70s show. She's like, I mean, literally this guy was drunk. And then we're both sitting there and these people are taking pictures of us like outside drinking water or something. This guy's like, you guys really look like the girls from that 70s show. And he's like, really? You kind of sound like her too. Really? All right. Nice meeting you. Bye. Like totally just left. I was nice.

17:14 You made it sound like a mean.

17:16 She was very nice. The guy was just like whacked out. But I'm sorry.

17:18 Adam Yeah, I guess as a woman, you have to worry about all kinds of things. Yeah. Following you home. And the exact same thing happened at the angels game.

17:27 Really? You kind of.

17:28 Adam Yes. There's a picture.

17:30 No, you know, you know, I think in the pamphlet, you guys buy it. I was like, yeah, I don't know.

17:35 Adam I got I don't get that guy. I get Adam Carolla. That's that's the thing that's interesting about the not being honest. It got the guy said, you look like Adam Carolla.

17:47 Drew Right. Right.

17:47 Adam All right. I hear it all the time. All right. So that's 70s show going strong. Fifth season. Yeah. And now into a syndication. And instead of being on the half hour week, you're on two and a half hours a week. Right.

18:01 That's right. My grandparents are very happy.

18:03 Drew I think we've had every cast member of your program except the mom.

18:08 Caller I don't know if Debra Jones want to do.

18:10 Yeah. You've had Kurt Wood.

18:13 Drew Yes.

18:14 Really?

18:14 Drew Yeah. He was great.

18:15 I would have loved to listen to him.

18:17 Adam Yeah.

18:17 Drew He was excellent.

18:18 Adam Papa 70 Show was in here as eight months ago.

18:21 Drew I don't think it was that long ago, but he was great.

18:23 I think you guys should get Debra Jo. I think that would be kind of fun. It would be fun. You'd be surprised, but she's kind of feisty.

18:29 Adam Sexy lady.

18:29 Yeah.

18:30 Adam Drew's a passionate man. Maybe we'd get along great.

18:33 Oh, nice.

18:35 Adam Tom?

18:36 Yes, sir.

18:37 Adam You're 25?

18:38 Caller Yes, sir.

18:39 Adam What's up?

18:41 Caller My mother is an alcoholic. My wife's father is an alcoholic. Between the two of us, my wife and I, we don't split a six pack in a month. What's the probability of our children being alcoholics?

18:55 Drew If you really don't have the gene, which it's hard to say just because you don't drink, it's zero or got to approach zero anyway.

19:04 Adam But are you trying not to drink or is it just something you're not interested in?

19:08 Drew That's the question.

19:09 Caller It's just something I've never really done. I mean, I saw how it affected my mother.

19:14 Drew I understand. People see that so they avoid alcohol, but then they smoke pot or they take Vicodin or they do something else.

19:20 Caller No, I've never touched a drug in my life.

19:21 Drew And how about your wife?

19:23 Caller She used to do a little pot when she was younger, but she hasn't touched it for the past three or four years.

19:29 Drew And nothing currently? Nothing of any substances? No Xanax?

19:32 Caller No, nothing at all.

19:34 Adam How about a little gambling or porn addiction or something good like that?

19:38 Caller Well, everybody likes a little porn now and then.

19:40 Adam Yeah.

19:43 Caller Yeah.

19:43 Adam Yeah. Number one receiver for oral sex. Three years running now, by the way.

19:47 Caller Well, I wouldn't get scared ten times a day, an addiction in porn.

19:51 So.

19:52 Adam What did you say?

19:53 Caller You watched porn ten times a day?

19:56 Adam I think he's making a joke. All right, Tom, your kids are going to be fine.

20:00 Caller Great. I appreciate the help.

20:01 Adam All right. Hey, good times. You have any kids yet?

20:04 Caller Not yet, but we're trying. My wife was actually just diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome.

20:09 Drew Good times?

20:10 Caller So it's been a little hard.

20:12 Drew Keep her weight down. Make sure she exercises. You got to watch out for diabetes later with that.

20:17 Caller Yeah, she's on, I believe...

20:19 Drew Glucophage.

20:20 Adam Glucophage?

20:22 Caller No, it starts with an A, I believe.

20:24 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LLV-E-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, Dixon medicine specialist. Jacoby Shattuck's here tonight. From Papa Roach.

20:37 Drew We're going to not talk about that little transition.

20:40 Adam Yeah, we were. We will. I thought we better get reset. We better set here.

20:45 Drew Well, what everyone was just hearing was us talking to Mila Kunis.

20:49 Adam Oh, okay. We'll play a little best stuff.

20:51 Drew That's right. All right.

20:52 Adam So here's the thing. We had a technical difficulty here at Loveline. Drew found out. Well, actually, I looked at the clock. It was about three seconds where the show was going to begin. And I looked at engineer Michelle and I said, seems like the show's not starting. And then she started. She ran a circle. You know, when Curly falls on the ground and does that movie, he just pivots on his elbow with his feet run. She did. She did four of those. And then she ran out the door screaming.

21:18 Papa Roach I know she about blew me over when she came by the home like, OK, something's going on.

21:22 Adam Yeah, she's she she she burst through there. It's like like a curly image. That's it. She did that. And then she took off in a cloud of smoke and unacceptable. And then and Drew, such a pain in the ass, by the way, I just said, I just got done lecturing Drew on his little passive, aggressive stuff and his weird stuff. It's that that's the half Jew party you're coming out where now I asked my grandfather was a Jewish and he would do this. And I was just talking to Drew about it, which was we want to go. I don't know, engineer. Oh, no way. Lauren, we run away. Junior producer Lauren went out to the parking lot. She said, she said, the band's I'm going to this is 10 minutes ago. She said, the band's not here yet. We got to go out and we're going to go out to the parking lot. And Drew said, what did you say, Drew?

22:11 Drew Well, no, she goes, we're going to go outside and meet them out there. And I go, oh, the band's not here.

22:15 Adam Yeah.

22:15 Drew The band's not here yet?

22:16 Adam And I said, no, you didn't say it that way. You said it with a question mark. He said, the band's not here?

22:22 Drew Yeah.

22:22 Adam And I'm like, of course the band's not. No, they're waiting in the parking lot for the Tooth Fairy to show up. Of course the band's not here. That's why they're going to the parking lot. You just had to screw with them a little.

22:32 Papa Roach Are you talking about the real drunk girl that came out?

22:34 Adam No, no, no.

22:35 Papa Roach One of them was hammered.

22:37 Drew She was doing your producer, Lauren.

22:38 Adam She was one of the van drivers.

22:40 Drew Lauren's been to the K-Rock party tonight.

22:42 Caller Oh, that's right.

22:43 Papa Roach She looked like she was at the K-Rock party.

22:45 Drew I accidentally screwed up Michelle, too.

22:47 Adam Now, poor engineer Michelle keeps running in and running out trying to get to show up, and each time she runs in with a sweat on her brow, does the little curly maneuver. Poor Michelle. It is clearly in a panic, and Drew keeps going, are we up yet? Are we up yet? Oh, yeah. We've been up for 10 minutes. She just neglected to say anything.

23:05 Drew She just kept running.

23:06 Adam Yeah, she just kept running. She will tell you when we're up, Drew. And read her face, by the way. Do you see the look on the deferraled brow?

23:13 Drew I do, I do indeed.

23:14 Adam Okay.

23:15 Drew I do have a question. How are we going to know when we're going out? That's going to be interesting.

23:18 Caller I wish we can hear Anderson. Anderson, are you there?

23:20 Drew He's on the phone. You can talk to him on the phone. He can direct you.

23:23 Caller On the phone, on the air, on the air. Hey.

23:25 Adam That's good, Drew.

23:26 No one can hear me?

23:27 Caller Holy Jesus Christ, no one can hear me.

23:29 Adam No one can hear me, by the way. So, but here's how I work. Oh, it's great.

23:32 Caller Everyone can hear me but you.

23:33 Adam My thing is for the first three minutes, we gotta get this show on the air. Then there's one minute of minute four of, all right, I'm at peace with it. And then minute five, we gotta go home. We gotta go home. I pray to Christ there's a fire now so we can get the hell out of here. As a matter of fact, I'm miserable now. I can't believe it. My skin's crawling. We gotta go. I gotta get home. And then I realize I jinx everything I do by immediately wishing. As soon as I start really wishing, okay, now let's go home. The equipment doesn't work. We're going to get paid. Let's just start a vacation a little bit early. They'll run a best up. We're back up. It's like when I start thinking that.

24:09 Drew Yeah. It's like back in the school days.

24:12 Adam Yeah.

24:12 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

24:13 Adam They do.

24:13 Caller They are out or do something.

24:15 Adam Oh, they would do that. Or a little tremor, an earthquake, maybe a smog day. By the way, you know, you grow up somewhere else. You have snow days and the opening of deer hunting season. Here you got smog. Earthquakes. Stage five smog alert. We had a 4.6 out in Chatsworth. You may be staying home. Fantastic. So the house could crush me. All right. Let's talk about Papa Roach. Yeah. Get it on. Drew and I had the privilege of bringing out the band, some 41, I believe, that followed Papa Roach. Here's the reality of these concerts. Papa Roach just off their triumphant performance at the K-Rock Acoustic Christmas. The reality is you run around these venues, you do a little bit of work, you have drunk guys bothering you and taking pictures with you, and that's about it. You end up out of 10 bands, if you catch one band, and that's combined because you caught a song here and a song there from eight bands. You're lucky. But we happened to be able to go, and they get you out there early because we were doing the announcement for some 41s coming on after Papa Roach. So we went out there and they brought us out about halfway into your set and they pulled us right by this huge pyramid of speakers.

25:31 Papa Roach Oh, they put you guys by the sub-stacks.

25:33 Drew And I just want to tell them that it affected the way blood flowed through my chest.

25:37 Adam Yeah.

25:37 Drew It was like having chest compressions.

25:39 Adam Yeah.

25:39 Drew Yeah.

25:39 Adam We had to get the crash cart out and paddle.

25:41 Drew No, you didn't. Well, yeah. But you didn't need to do any compressions.

25:45 Adam That was doing it.

25:45 Drew Yeah, I was doing it for you.

25:46 Adam No, but we had to do that clear thing.

25:47 Drew Yeah, you had to restart.

25:48 Adam Wacky one. And Drew had earplugs in too, by the way.

25:52 Caller Smart guy.

25:53 Adam I don't find, you know, not hardcore like me. And here's the problem is like, so we're standing right by and Papa Roach is playing their minds out and it just, it's just, I can feel a feeling floating in my mouth. And it's like, I can feel my viscera shaking as I'm standing by a wall of subwoofers.

26:13 Caller Loosening your bowels.

26:14 Adam And, and I look at Drew-

26:15 Drew No, no, loosening the wall of the colon, the colon from the wall of my abdomen.

26:19 Adam Yeah. So meaning if you defecate your entire lower, lower intestine is coming out, coming out. It's all coming out.

26:25 Thanks to P.

26:26 Adam Roach.

26:26 Yeah.

26:27 Adam It, it is, it is essentially the snake in the peanut brittle can, pow. It's all, you know, it's not just confetti. It's the whole thing is coming out. Absolutely. So I'm thinking about that and I'm going, Oh my God, I'm looking at Drew and these guys earplugs in and I'm like, Oh, I, I just, my, my, my, my, my bone marrow is liquefying now. So I do this thing where I go like, all right, I'm putting, I put my finger up and do that. Now I've learned from going to the drag races, you don't stick your finger in your ear. You push that little flap there. And I started doing that and I start thinking, come on, Pops.

26:59 Papa Roach You disappoint all the kids are looking at Adam.

27:02 Caller Oh, look at him.

27:03 Papa Roach What's up with him, man?

27:04 Adam Look at Pops Corolla.

27:05 Drew Then I asked a question about.

27:08 Adam Yeah. Then we noticed a little loogie action coming from the band. Yeah.

27:14 Papa Roach Oh yeah.

27:14 Adam I think you stood up on the monitor at one point leaning back and did a backside looger. Like it was.

27:21 Papa Roach I was going for Dave.

27:22 Drew And then your bass player decided he better do it on the audience.

27:25 Caller He just like, he's filthy.

27:29 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

27:30 Papa Roach I guess anything goes with the P-Roach show. Look out if you're in the front row.

27:33 Drew That's why I leaned over to Adam.

27:34 Adam As Drew said, when did looging become in vogue amongst the rock and roll? Yeah. It's hardcore. It's always part of life.

27:43 Papa Roach And more hardcore. You know, that's how we do.

27:45 Adam It's not rock. It would be a nice evolution.

27:49 Papa Roach Where is it? In Spain. Like if they like a band, they'll spit on them.

27:55 Drew Seriously.

27:56 Papa Roach Swear to it. I was standing on stage and like.

27:58 Drew What's the heritage of that behavior?

27:59 Papa Roach Where did it come from? We're rocking and like people are spitting on stage. And I'm just like, I'm getting pissed.

28:04 Drew You learned to spit back. You just spit on the audience.

28:06 Papa Roach Puss, screw you, man. Yeah. It was kind of agitated. And then I went over to the guy and they were like, they like you. It's a sign of affection. I'm like, all right, I ain't down with this.

28:18 Adam But they wouldn't do that to like Yo-Yo Ma or something. If you've played a concerto over there. I mean, that's hard. That's Spain. That's punk Spain. I don't know.

28:25 Drew Yeah.

28:25 Papa Roach I think that's just like punk or some of the rock and roll. I don't know, man. But I just don't quite get it.

28:30 Adam All right.

28:30 Drew Good times.

28:31 Adam All right. Two hypotheticals. Rather get loogied on or whizzed on?

28:35 Drew Whizzed.

28:36 Adam Whizzed.

28:38 Papa Roach I'd rather get peed on.

28:39 Adam Peed on? Yeah.

28:40 Drew Universal.

28:40 Papa Roach Matter of fact, I used to wet the bed, so I'm used to it.

28:42 Drew Oh, two bed wetters here.

28:43 Adam Yeah.

28:44 Drew Good times.

28:44 Adam Well, it's one of those genius things.

28:47 Papa Roach I don't know, man. I just stopped peeing the bed one day. Unfortunately, it was after like I was like about 15.

28:53 Drew So it was like, this is December, so like August?

28:57 Adam Yeah. No, it was 15. It is, it's horrible, too, because people are throwing slumber parties.

29:04 Caller Yeah, dude, you know, the whole nine, dude.

29:06 Drew Well, you haven't told the story in a long time. He has a great pee in the bed story.

29:10 Papa Roach All right, break it down, dude, because I've probably got a good one, too.

29:12 Drew It's been about a year or two since you told the story.

29:14 Adam Oh, yeah, I was an adult.

29:16 Drew That's what I'm talking about.

29:18 Adam Yeah. No, I had the dream, you know, the dream when you're over the toilet.

29:23 Papa Roach Oh, yeah. And you just what you wake up and you're like, yeah, but he wasn't over a toilet.

29:27 Adam No, no, I was I had a dream. I was over a toilet. I was actually in bed.

29:32 Drew Now, you dreamed you were killing a bunch of Huns and stuff.

29:35 Caller Oh, oh, I did.

29:36 Drew Yeah.

29:37 Adam You're right.

29:37 Drew Tell the story.

29:38 Adam I was out on I was I was doing battle. I must have been watching the history channel that night. I was doing our battle. But you know, the thing of it's funny about me, it's it's like it's funny when you try to have a historical dream, but you never read a history book. So it's like, sir, yes, the marshmallions are coming. Well, we must like because you don't actually know anything. It's like you can't speak Japanese in your dreams if you didn't know how to speak Japanese. It would just come out like gibberish. So, you know, it was it was the marshmallions doing battle with the zucchini Torians or something. And I was having at it. And I slayed everyone. And I remember thinking, man, I got to go. And I was trying to get my chest plate off and get my like chainmail skirt down or something. And I just remember dropping it in some fjord, just going, look at this, look at the side of the castle. I was like, oh, this is, I slayed a bunch of zikiniens and now I'm whizzing on, I probably didn't even know what castle, the half, the rock house thingy. And then I woke up and I was in-

30:41 Papa Roach I wonder what you realized you were laying in a puddle of piss.

30:43 Drew No, no, no, as he tells the story, he's looking at the sky and then he's looking and he's like, what, where, what the cottage cheese come from in the sky?

30:51 Adam Yeah, that's an apartment ceiling. So I was with my girlfriend at the time and I whizzed the bed up pretty good.

30:59 Papa Roach I've peed on my wife a couple of times too.

31:01 Adam You know, it's funny, funny when you turn into a nine-year-old like, I made some, I made some pee pee. And they turn into mom, they're like, okay, get up. And you're shamed like, yeah, she's gonna be pissed. Come on, do the sheets, come on, whiff lip. They snap into like mom action and you snap into six-year-old boy action. And then the worst part about whizzing in the bed as adult is the condescending conversation you have to have every night for the next, no, no, the next nine months. Did you use the bathroom? Did you use? We're going to bed. Yeah, no, no. No Simpsons, use the bathroom. The real one was this one, too. It's like five in the afternoon. Are you sure you should have that second beer?

31:40 Caller That beer, yeah, yeah, yeah.

31:41 Adam Are you sure you should have the beer?

31:42 Caller Oh, come on.

31:42 Drew What do you mean, Suzy? Oh, Adam, you know.

31:44 Adam Come on.

31:44 Papa Roach Does she just like to rub it in?

31:46 Adam Yeah.

31:46 Papa Roach Okay.

31:47 Adam Well, I am actually the one who likes to rub it in, but into the sheets that is. Tobin here today, yes?

31:53 Papa Roach Yes, I'm here.

31:54 Adam Good to see you. That's all right. The whole.

31:55 Papa Roach We only started the show. It was all screwed anyways. Yeah. Like we were off air for about five, ten minutes.

32:01 Adam Yeah.

32:01 Papa Roach Yeah. That's what I heard.

32:02 Adam Easily. And again, this close to going home.

32:05 Drew Oh, in your head, you were home.

32:06 Adam Oh, I was home. Wizzing on the bed. Have having got up to have a guy whiz on me instead of a hunk of loogie on me was huge.

32:16 Drew All right.

32:17 Adam So we got to take a break. Papa Roach is we're going to hear something off the Getting Away With Murder CD and bands taking a little break. Lots of touring and all right. So we got to get our bearings straight. Hopefully get our technical difficulties worked out. Papa Roach and Steer tonight will be right back after this. Hey, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam.

33:04 Caller That's Dr. Drew.

33:05 Adam We're back in business. Look out! I gotta tell you this. I'm gonna make you this promise. Listeners, I'm gonna say this right now, okay? Right now, okay? It was funny how when cops pull you over, they do that too much talking thing, where they go, okay, what I'm gonna need you to do for me right now, okay, son, is to go ahead and reach your wallet right now, okay, and go ahead and give me the wallet right now, okay? And I'm gonna ask you to do it this time. Just go ahead for me and go ahead and step out of the car right now, okay? Like, how about just license it?

33:31 Papa Roach I've experienced that.

33:32 Adam Yeah, I don't know what it is. I think they might be sizing you up as they're buying time with the words, or I think it's sort of uncomfortable, like they feel bad, like, eh, they're screwing you.

33:42 Papa Roach Well, they know you're in a hurry, so they're just...

33:44 Adam And they're kind of dumb. Stupid guys do that too much talking thing. They don't realize it, but brevity, Drew, what?

33:53 Drew This is, what, this is soul, soul of invention?

33:57 Adam Wit.

33:58 Drew Wit. Oh.

33:58 Adam Thank you, Drew.

33:59 Drew I didn't know that. Brevity.

34:00 Adam College boy.

34:00 Drew I can see it, that's true.

34:01 Adam College boy. Yeah, okay, right now, so what I'm going to need to do right now is go ahead and talk to Papa Roach, okay, for me right now, okay, then?

34:08 Papa Roach Okay, right now, right now, right now.

34:09 Adam All right.

34:10 Drew Who said that?

34:11 Adam I don't know. What, you think you're going to know who that is?

34:13 Drew No, I like it, I like it.

34:14 Adam It's good, right?

34:15 Drew Yeah.

34:15 Adam It means brevity is short, right? Okay, okay, right now?

34:19 Drew Yeah, right now it is.

34:20 Adam Jacoby and Tobin both here from Papa Roach. We'll hear something off the Getting Waves Murder CD. Now, there will be no brevity on these phone calls. I'll tell you that right now. I got to talk. I got to yeah.

34:33 Drew I know.

34:33 Adam I'm all pent up from the first break, which we had some technical difficulties. By the way, engineers Michelle, while burning many calories, ultimately did not, although it had an important role of figuring out everything that wasn't wrong with the board. Drew figured out what was wrong with the board simultaneously with engineer Anderson by simply shutting everything off and turning it back on. Yes, Drew?

34:55 Drew I learned that from my wife.

34:56 Adam All right.

34:57 Drew We had the other computers at home. Turned all off and started over again.

35:01 Adam Fantastic. Why didn't you think of that at the beginning?

35:05 Drew Because you kept yelling at me to stay out of it.

35:06 Caller All right.

35:07 Adam Kelly?

35:08 Yeah.

35:09 Adam You're 22?

35:10 Caller Yeah.

35:11 Adam You want to know if it would be healthy to quit masturbating and having sex all together?

35:15 Caller Yeah. Why?

35:16 Adam What are you trying to prove?

35:19 Caller What do you mean? I'm trying to prove?

35:21 Adam Well, what are you doing? What's your plan?

35:23 Caller I just think it leads to addiction as far as like porn addiction and-

35:28 Drew For you.

35:30 Caller What's that?

35:30 Drew It tends to be that way for you.

35:32 Caller I think it's just a natural. If you're going to get something up, I think, at least personally, I say everybody should give it up. So if I don't like it, well, I'm not trying to force my-

35:44 Adam Nones fighting in the street. I'm fascinated. Imagine people, what would it be like? What the road rage would be like? Everyone should walk around with a sack full of semen.

35:53 Caller Well, let's see, I don't know.

35:54 Caller Black heart.

35:55 Caller That was part of my question is, if you would eventually like, your sex drive would tone down. Because-

36:01 Drew Yes, it would.

36:01 Adam It would have to.

36:02 Drew It does. Yes, it does.

36:03 Adam At the start, you would explode.

36:05 Drew Your testosterone will drop and your libido will drop too. Yes. It tends to raise in response to evocation, in response to stimulation. So, tell us about you. What's your plan here? Why are you interested in this? Did you do something the other direction where you got disgusted?

36:22 Caller Well, I just thought about porn and I just think it's like proxy prostitution, like you're paying other people to prostitute girls.

36:34 Drew So, you don't like a kind of a world or a society that has that kind of stuff in it that's expressible?

36:38 Caller Right. Like, if I'm against prostitution, I think I also have to be against porn.

36:42 Drew You're a man of intense principles.

36:44 Caller Yeah.

36:44 Adam Yeah. I don't know. But if you do that sort of breakdown, lowest common denominator thing, then you shouldn't drive your car to the car wash because the guy's down on his knees and he's cleaning your hubcaps. He's only getting eight bucks an hour and you're enslaving the brown man.

36:59 Drew But doesn't Kelly strike you as someone like the guys that find God in jail, that this is something? Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah.

37:03 Adam Listen, I worked with a bunch of guys like Kelly. It's like they're they're they're born again now because they put a nail file in someone's neck. Right. Six months ago. Now they found Jesus Christ. Right. And it's like I would I actually had we had more to talk about when you were killing people. Actually, now we can't hang before. At least at least at least now I wish you would kill me ironically with all your Jesus talk. Kelly, are you, are you born again?

37:30 Caller No, no, I've never, I've never done any drugs or drinking any alcohol or any cigarettes.

37:35 Adam Yeah.

37:35 Caller And I never really had a problem with masturbation. It's just sort of a.

37:39 Adam Are you an atheist?

37:41 Caller Yes.

37:42 Adam You're an atheist who won't beat off.

37:43 Drew Do you have girlfriends?

37:45 Caller Yeah, I do have a girlfriend.

37:46 Drew And it's going okay?

37:49 Caller It's kind of okay, I guess.

37:51 Drew You know, what will be what's the problem?

37:54 Caller She just is generally kind of in a bad mood lately.

37:59 Caller I don't really know why she's depressed, but I don't think it really has much to do with this.

38:04 Adam In particular, I couldn't imagine being depressed around Kelly. Let's stop eating. Let's stop drinking.

38:12 Drew It's part of a new trend. I'm fascinated.

38:14 Caller I'm interested.

38:15 Adam No, it's not. Kelly, you're depressed.

38:18 Caller No, no, no.

38:19 Adam Then do me a favor. Get yourself a Christmas tree first off. Do you have a Christmas tree?

38:24 Caller I can't afford a Christmas tree.

38:25 Drew Well, you can do with the Corollas.

38:26 Adam Hold on a second. You can't afford not to not be able to afford a Christmas tree.

38:31 Drew It is what the Corollas do. They saw a limb off a tree and they lean it up against the wall.

38:36 Caller That's right. Ghetto Fabulous.

38:37 Adam My mom cut a branch off of our half dead tree. Really, we had like a pine tree in the front yard, and my mom cut a branch off of it and leaned it against the wall. I would talk more about it, but there's a lawsuit that I have going with my family and I can't really.

38:55 Drew I'm going to give her a little nod for effort.

38:58 Adam No, no. It's nothing. So listen, Kelly, go get a tree, would you? Go down to the Ikea. Ikea, they're like $19, and if you bring it back, they'll make it into an armoire. They do everything, but we decorate it for you. Just go down and get a tree, would you? That's a bigger. We got to speak to this because the tree issue. Yes, I have a tree.

39:23 Drew I saw it today.

39:24 Adam Here's the thing. People don't, they really they do this thing where like, I don't have a good job or I don't make. You need a tree more. Look, I'm literally a millionaire. I don't need a tree.

39:35 Drew Literally.

39:36 Adam I go out, I go out, I look over my vast land holdings. I look at my beautiful sports cars. I don't need a tree. It's you poor people think you can't afford a tree who need a tree.

39:46 Drew Danny tells his wife and his assistant to get a tree.

39:49 Adam Go get a tree.

39:50 Papa Roach Get a tree.

39:51 Adam I do this.

39:51 Papa Roach Ha ha.

39:52 Caller Oh damn.

39:53 Papa Roach Now you know what you should do instead of the clap is the snap.

39:57 Adam Yeah, you know, I found that it chapped my fingers.

40:00 Papa Roach Oh okay, did you do it too much?

40:02 Adam Well, I had my assistant put a cream on it and it didn't work out, but I did a pop pop.

40:07 Drew Couldn't do the size of a Christmas tree? Yeah, wouldn't that work?

40:11 Adam No, that's from the Arabian. No, I didn't want to talk to you about that. Here's my point. Seriously, you can go down to the supermarket for 18, 19 bucks. You get a tree. Everybody's got, everyone's got 20 bucks now.

40:22 Drew And does this lead to the cranberry discussion too?

40:25 Adam I'll get into that later, but do it. This year, everyone get a tree. I don't know who. You guys have trees?

40:29 Papa Roach I got a tree at my house.

40:31 Adam Tobin, tree? I got a tree. Yeah. Michelle?

40:34 Caller Tree?

40:34 Papa Roach We got trees all around.

40:36 Adam Everyone's got a tree?

40:36 Caller Well, it's a little fake, like, two foot.

40:39 Drew It's good.

40:39 Papa Roach Yeah. Hey, but it's a tree.

40:41 Drew It's a tree.

40:41 Adam It's a tree, Drew?

40:42 Caller It's a tree.

40:44 Adam People are putting these fake trees up this year, by the way.

40:46 Drew Yeah.

40:47 Papa Roach Well, some people got allergies, dude.

40:49 Adam Oh, do you have allergies?

40:50 Papa Roach No, my mother does.

40:51 Adam She has.

40:51 Papa Roach She's got a fake tree.

40:52 Adam Really?

40:53 Papa Roach She's got a fake tree.

40:54 Adam She doesn't like pine, is her? She has algae.

40:57 Papa Roach I have no clue. My mom's just, I don't know.

40:59 Adam Look at that. There's something going on. Some rock star. Yeah.

41:03 Papa Roach What are you trying to say? Something's wrong with my mom?

41:05 Adam Yes. Yes. She has an allergy to- Let me take this outside. No, no one's allergic to pine, are they, Drew?

41:12 Drew There may be something in the tree. Who knows? Some mites or something.

41:14 Adam Here's some idea.

41:15 Drew Tree mites.

41:15 Adam Here's some idea. Don't freak me out, Drew. I gotta go home to a house full of tree mites. Couple things. Everyone get the tree. Make yourself feel better. Number one. Number two. Here's my plan. And tell me what you guys think of this. Everyone's like 50% of the country is going with these realistic looking fake trees now. All right. I realize LA. Worst goddamn town for cell phones in the United States. Reception. Yeah. I can't move around without the thing cutting off. Every time you're talking to someone, you're driving over the canyon, you're going through the hills. Boom. Phone cuts off. Now, what if everybody and a lot of people live in the canyons and hills have those expensive imitation trees? What if we made them into cell phone towers?

42:00 Drew You're just around them.

42:02 Caller Oh, God. Now, you're losing it.

42:04 Adam No, I'm getting great reception through the canyon now. You're making extra 50 bucks a month because so the kid's got a tumor. You know what I'm saying?

42:13 Papa Roach The whole neighborhood's got tumors.

42:15 Adam I think you could do this, Drew.

42:18 Caller Don't you think you could do that?

42:19 Papa Roach Well, you know, you see those, they got those trees with Dr. Schwarzenegger.

42:23 Adam Yeah, I got the trees.

42:24 Caller Arnold, you will put many trees with receptors in them.

42:28 Adam It's kind of like Schwarzenegger meets Vinny Barbarina.

42:31 Papa Roach All right, you know, I'm not very good at that.

42:33 Adam No, it wasn't bad. No, it was even better. It was two people. Yeah. Yeah.

42:37 Caller My style.

42:39 Adam Listen, my cell phone tower combination fake Christmas tree idea is a winner. You leave it up all year long, you get a little stipend from the company.

42:50 Papa Roach From outside, inside the house.

42:52 Adam You put it wherever you want. The company pays for it and buys you one.

42:56 Drew They talk about how cell phones are going to replace land phones. Anyway, this will be a step in that direction.

43:00 Papa Roach Exactly. Christmas tree all year.

43:02 Drew Look, we got the creator of our Germany or Florida song on the line.

43:06 Adam Oh, really?

43:06 Drew Yeah, yeah. Remember him? Yeah.

43:08 Adam Yeah. Drew, I think you're jealous of my idea.

43:11 Drew No, I just want to actually talk to people. Theo? We lost half the show.

43:14 Adam Well, now we have to talk more.

43:16 Drew Oh, I hate talking to callers. I don't want to talk to any caller.

43:19 Adam You don't want to talk to a caller?

43:20 Drew No calls tonight.

43:20 Adam No calls. No calls?

43:22 Drew No, no.

43:22 Adam No calls? You think you run the show? You think you're the boss of me? You don't want to run the show?

43:26 Drew Whatever you have to do.

43:27 Caller See this finger?

43:27 Drew No, no.

43:29 Adam I'm taking a phone call.

43:30 Caller What do you think of that?

43:31 Adam Any other requests, Weisenheimer?

43:33 Caller Theo?

43:34 Adam How you doing? Thanks for calling the show. Drew didn't want to take calls, but I did, and we do what I want to do. I understand, Mr. Psychology Guy. Go ahead, Theo.

43:44 Well, I have a Loveline Christmas song for you.

43:48 Adam Theo wrote the theme song to a little game we play called Germany or Florida.

43:55 Drew We'll play a song, Anderson.

43:56 Adam Play the Germany or Florida song so we can hear how delightful that is. Yeah.

44:01 Things are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis, sex, meth, and death fetishes. Both of them have got these, guaranteed not to bore you Germany or Florida.

44:12 Drew My favorite thing about the Papa Roach bop in their heads. When Theo sings, he's partially cracking up while he's singing. That's good. You can hear that he's actually nearly. Trying to hold it together.

44:20 Adam He writes songs, he recalls the show. So Theo, what do you got for us? All right.

44:24 Drew Here it is.

44:25 It's just a little Christmas. It's a little bit longer than my normal one, so I apologize for the length, but it's Christmas.

44:30 Caller I forget I told you.

44:31 Fourteen, nine, immediately too. What you're, what you're, what you're, what you're, what you're gonna do? Mexican musicians breaking it down on each of the accordion countdown.

44:42 Drew Wait, that was...

44:43 Adam Yeah, that's Anderson. That's Anderson, all right.

44:45 Drew Hold on a second.

44:46 Adam Nah, that's Anderson. What are you doing? He's about to do a song. All right, he's just scrolling. All right, listen, let's take a break. He'll play when he gets back. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. All right. I know that sounded weird. I'm just mad at Anderson because he stuck in the guy's other stupid song, right, when he's going to do this and just confused everyone. Let's take a break. Papa Roach here. I'm going to get some coffee and we'll be right back with Theo singing after that. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Jacoby and Tobin here tonight from Papa Roach.

45:32 Caller Hola, como estas?

45:34 Adam Drew, quiet. Let me keep moving here. Getting Away With Murder, name of the CD. We're definitely going to hear a couple of songs.

45:41 Drew Grandes, éxitos en español.

45:43 Adam All right, all right, quit showing off, Drew. They're going to be on the Late Late Show tonight. Oh, did I got the new host on the Late Late Show?

45:52 Drew Grandes, éxitos en español.

45:54 Adam All right, Drew, please go ahead.

45:56 Papa Roach How do you throw your voice like that, man? You're talented.

45:58 Adam He uses his other hole. We mic'd him up.

46:02 Papa Roach They had, I don't know, what was the guy's name today? It's like some sports caster.

46:07 Adam Oh, they're doing the sub-host.

46:09 Papa Roach Yeah, so we have a sub-host.

46:13 Drew Grandes, éxitos en español.

46:15 Adam All right, Drew, please. Anderson. Maybe Anderson's drunk tonight, too.

46:20 Papa Roach I think he was at the K-Rock party. Oh, really?

46:22 Adam Anderson, did you go to the K-Rock party? No. I was thinking about going and then I got that ominous letter from my general manager yesterday explaining that he had to answer some more complaints about me. But he wouldn't say what they were. And the last time we got drunk together, he yelled at me.

46:42 Drew Oh, yeah, that's the Pepsi one, wasn't it?

46:43 Adam Yeah, we were, we flew on a private jet to Washington, DC and it was back in the days when I used to make fun of Mountain Dew. I used to call it the Nectar of the Tards. Because you don't know any smart people that drink Mountain Dew.

47:02 Caller There's not a smart guy.

47:03 Papa Roach There's been a little bit of the Tards.

47:05 Drew There's been a little bit of resurrection of that.

47:07 Papa Roach That's pretty good.

47:08 Adam Yeah. I just, my take on that stuff is we need to start taking Mountain Dew and Sunny D and possibly Grape Soda. I think you know what I'm talking about. And start putting an agent in it that renders men sterilized. But not from one sip, not a capful. It's like, look, you could drink a Mountain Dew and you'd be fine. You'd be able to knock up your lady.

47:33 Caller But if you continually drink.

47:34 Drew Somewhere over Kansas, Tripp leans over and yells at Adam, just goes, Pepsi!

47:39 Adam Yeah, he started yelling at me that Pepsi owned Mountain Dew and they were a big sponsor. Then the trouble came where I said, well, I'll see if I can tone it down. And he gave me that, don't say about anything! He started yelling at me. But yeah, so here's my plan. Cause it's been a while. And he's going to yell at me for this next one anyway. So I'm not going to go both then. We take Sunny Delight.

48:01 Drew Sunny D. Grape soda.

48:02 Adam And we take, yeah, well, grape soda, it's too racial. I think I'm just going to stick with the Sunny D. And we're going to stick with the Mountain Dew. And yeah, that could be a kid thing.

48:13 Drew And maybe the Sunny D is a kid thing too.

48:16 Adam Sunny D is for idiots. Here's the thing about Sunny D. If you're not under nine years of age and you enjoy that crap, you have to be partially, you might have head trauma.

48:27 Papa Roach Maybe you want to throw some whole hand punch in there.

48:28 Adam I'll add that in there. All right, anything that says punch or drink on it. Then we put an agent in it where if you take in more than four gallons of that stuff a year, you're sterile for the following year. Then it wears off. You imagine the utopia we'd be living in inside of about 10 years in this country. Think about it.

48:49 Drew Ubermatch.

48:50 Adam Think about it, Drew.

48:51 Drew Oh, the Society of Ubermatches.

48:52 Adam That's right.

48:53 Drew Here we go. All right. Don't take any calls. No more calls. That's it. No more calls tonight.

48:57 Adam What?

48:57 Drew That's it. What? Zero calls. I don't want to speak to anybody.

49:00 Adam Pow. How do you like me? Theo?

49:02 Caller Hey there.

49:03 Adam See, Drew thinks he can outsmart the Ace Man. He thinks he can outsmart the Ace Man, but he can't.

49:09 Drew No, I can't. I can, but I can't.

49:11 Adam No, because I'm a force to be reckoned with. You know what I'm saying? Theo?

49:14 Yeah.

49:15 Drew So get the song in here, Theo. Here we go.

49:16 Oh yeah. Christmas song.

49:18 Adam Theo wrote a Christmas song for Loveline. And now that you've had sufficient time, I hope you've worked in my fake tree cell phone tower. Oh, I have.

49:26 Caller Idea.

49:28 Things are sick and twisted.

49:29 Caller No, no, no.

49:31 Sex, meth, and death fetishes.

49:33 Adam Anderson learned his lesson. That's important.

49:35 Not the foyer journey of Florida.

49:37 Adam This is the author of the composer of Germany of Florida. That's right. Go ahead, Theo.

49:43 All right.

49:43 Caller Here we go.

49:44 Smoked almonds are warming by the fireside. Tinsel and light and good times of yule tide. The holiday cheer is scorching your brain. Accordion music best describes your pain. This song ain't my best. It's a little bit lame. Yeah, but still have a loveline Christmas.

50:32 Drew You're gay.

50:34 Adam Theo, yeah.

50:36 Drew I like the way he changes melodies mid for frame.

50:40 Adam So layered.

50:41 Papa Roach He needs a record deal.

50:42 Adam So intricate. Oh yeah, Theo. Somebody's got to sign you. That was wonderful.

50:47 Drew A punctured satire.

50:49 Adam William Hung has nothing on you.

50:52 If you're still serious about me coming out, I'm going to be out there in January.

50:56 Drew Oh, we have to see you.

50:57 Adam January.

50:59 The second week of January, I'm going to be there for like three days.

51:02 Adam Three days.

51:03 Drew You come in and see us. Yes, we need to see you. All right.

51:07 Adam All right. All right. Come on down. We'll set you up in the parking lot. I'm folding chair. We'll get you FM radio. You can enjoy it and then I'll wave at you on the way out as the security knocks you over. All right. That's going to be wonderful. Break it down. Papa Roach and Stuart and I. So what should we do?

51:27 Drew We won't take a call. We do not take a call.

51:29 Adam What?

51:29 Drew Don't take a call. Don't take a call?

51:31 Adam Don't take a call. You don't think I'm going to take a call? Melinda? Hello. What do you think of that? You're 19. Drew doesn't want me to talk to you, but I do my own thing. I can't be manipulated.

51:42 Drew He plays by his own rules.

51:43 Adam I play by my own rules.

51:44 Caller Yeah, nice. You're awesome. What's up? I just wanted to find out what the heck happened to me the other night because I totally blacked out. I was wondering if you guys could maybe give me some advice on how I can remember what the hell happened.

52:00 Drew Well, if you blacked out, you won't remember what happened because that's in a blackout. You don't file information into long-term memory, so you can never retrieve it.

52:07 Adam I can retrace your earlier footsteps, which was to the bar to get loaded, and then after that, we don't know what happened. Drew, can you ever get that back?

52:17 Drew No, it's gone.

52:17 Adam Well, your eyes are open.

52:19 Drew Yes, but that mechanism isn't working. Yep.

52:23 Caller Okay. Well, I took one of those pills while I was drinking. So all I remember is I had this sexual dream, and then I woke up and I was completely naked. But I don't think I did anything with this guy because I had just met him.

52:43 Drew Well, you can pretty much count that you did do something.

52:46 Adam Well, by the way, he did something with you. I think it's the way you should probably look at it.

52:50 Drew How about the morning after, Melinda? Get some emergency contraception going just in case.

52:55 Caller Well, I just woke up and I was like, what the hell?

52:57 Drew Yeah, Melinda, you took-

52:58 Adam Hold on, Drew, she makes a compelling argument against the morning after pill.

53:02 Drew What the hell?

53:03 Adam She woke up.

53:04 Caller Is that what that is?

53:06 Drew Yeah.

53:06 Adam Well, wait a second, Melinda.

53:07 Drew You took a medicine that causes amnesia commonly, that whole class of medicine. Really? I mean, you add alcohol to it.

53:12 Caller Yeah.

53:14 Drew That's why there's a little martini glass with bubbles with a no parking sign over it.

53:18 Adam I want to talk about that because it's been a little while because there's two no-boos on the medication. There's the one no-boos, it's going to F up your liver, and then there's the other no-boos, you're going to get a lot higher than you already are.

53:31 Caller Yeah.

53:32 Papa Roach It's going to take you to that next level.

53:33 Adam Right.

53:33 Caller The one I'm looking for.

53:34 Adam I'm looking to ratchet it up. I'm looking to add a little catalyst to my resin. Do you know what I'm saying? Pow!

53:42 Drew Tie one arm.

53:43 Adam That's what I'm saying. But I don't know the difference between the no-boos, F up the liver, and no-boos, jack it up a notch.

53:49 Drew Well, we're not going to tell you.

53:50 Adam Well, we need a separate sticker.

53:52 Drew We don't want a bunch of Melinda's getting pregnant. We don't want a bunch of Adam Corolla's driving, not knowing they're blacking out.

53:58 Adam I'm a heavyweight. I have the sticker on my license. I got to blow a.50 in order to even be arrested in any city.

54:07 Caller Because you're a heavyweight.

54:08 Adam That's right. No, seriously though, I don't want to have up my liver, but I don't want to get a little higher, better buzz.

54:14 Drew You want us to have a little sign of a little liver with a sign across.

54:16 Adam I want the liver with the thing, and then the one with the champagne thing with the bubbles coming out. I don't even want the slash.

54:23 Drew You just want it there.

54:24 Adam No, no, I like the slash.

54:25 Drew Bring it over here.

54:25 Adam Next we go.

54:26 Drew This is what I'm used to.

54:27 Adam She's got pharmaceuticals. Yeah, let's see. Let's see what. Oh, I got the drowsy. Yeah, I don't need the guy, the guy with the.

54:33 Drew Eyelid half down.

54:34 Adam With the lazy eye.

54:35 Papa Roach Man, I am tired.

54:38 Drew Alcohol may intensify this effect. Use care when operating a car or dangerous machinery. Yeah. You know, we haven't figured out what to do with all this yet, because the fact is one of these pills and a glass of wine and you should not be operating your car is the problem.

54:50 Adam Which one is this?

54:51 Drew Well, don't, don't, don't.

54:53 Papa Roach It's like, can I have one?

54:54 Adam All right. So she likes a Quailood now and again. Hey, it helps her do her job.

54:58 Drew Why do you think the board was all f-ed up before we started the show?

55:01 Adam Did you get me a Christmas present yet? I got you a bottle of booze. Is yours? Did you get me anything, Michelle?

55:06 You can have a couple of those.

55:08 Adam Give me a couple of those. Put them in some foil and put a nice card on it or something. I'll get you some booze I got out of the car.

55:13 Drew Oh, excellent.

55:14 Adam Yeah.

55:15 Papa Roach He's got an open bottle of Jacks sitting in the passenger seat.

55:18 Adam Papa Roach in studio tonight. Yes, Drew.

55:21 Drew Can I finish with Melinda? Hurry. You need to get the morning out, but you probably had sex with this guy. How many days ago did this happen?

55:27 Caller Like, two.

55:29 Drew Please, please, immediately. 1-888-NOT-TOO-LATE.

55:32 Caller Call them, get her full. Isn't that for bipolar?

55:37 Drew No, it's not. It's an anti-anxiety medicine. Some bipolar patients may take it for a short period of time, but the real problem is here, this is probably part of alcoholism addiction evolving here with you. You have that in your family, right? You have an alcoholic parent or something?

55:48 Caller No, actually, I just started drinking again. I'm actually a recovering addict.

55:53 Drew Yeah, well, you're not recovering. You're well into it, Wendy.

55:56 Adam Well, she makes some very valid points, Drew.

55:58 Drew How did I know?

55:59 Adam Okay. Papa Roach and Stu tonight, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

56:04 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

56:09 Papa Roach One call is all you need to make.

56:11 Caller Call the Dateline, 877-889-DATE.

56:14 Drew Call the Dateline.

56:38 Adam Yeah, it's Loveline. Get it on. Anderson's drunk tonight.

56:46 Drew Drunk and hopped up on speed.

56:48 Adam Whatever. I got Anderson a gift, by the way. I always get him a carton of natural spirit cigarettes. And I don't know how many come in a carton, but you don't realize a carton of cigarettes, like $93 now.

57:00 Are you for real?

57:02 Drew Is that crazy?

57:02 Adam Well, I don't know. Anderson, how many cigarettes, how many packs come in a carton?

57:07 Drew 200 cigarettes.

57:08 Adam 20.

57:09 Caller No, it says 10.

57:11 Drew It says 200 cigarettes.

57:12 Adam Oh, OK. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 20. All right. But the American spirits, they're like six bucks a pack or something. Right.

57:19 Caller Because I'm like highbrow, man.

57:21 Adam You're highbrow. All right. Classy guy. Yeah. Point is, is it's it's it's killing you with lung cancer is going to drive me to the poor house. I'll tell you what.

57:31 Caller I quit smoking, though.

57:32 Adam Did you? When did you quit smoking? I get you. I get your carton of cigarettes every year. How dare you?

57:38 Caller I quit smoking like two years ago. And I saw him on eBay.

57:41 Drew I saw him on eBay.

57:43 Adam He sells the cigarette. You sell the gift I get on eBay.

57:46 Drew Yeah, dude. And no, I'm trying to read what he's on. It's mushrooms.

57:50 Adam He's on mushrooms.

57:51 Drew He's on mushrooms.

57:52 Caller You said speed, dude.

57:53 Drew It's coke.

57:54 Caller It's coke, man.

57:55 Adam Come on.

57:55 Drew It's mushroom.

57:56 Adam All right. Anderson's high on mushrooms. Papa Roach in studio tonight. Seriously, I'll get you something else. I'll give the cigarettes to Ralph. He's an American spirit man.

58:06 Papa Roach I'm cool.

58:07 Caller I'd give them to me. I'm cool. All right.

58:09 Papa Roach He's cool to be. Give it to me.

58:12 Caller I'm cool.

58:12 Adam Hey, Buzzard Bear.

58:14 Drew Just give it to me, man.

58:15 Caller I'm cool, man. Okay.

58:18 Adam Just keep your finger. You might have to dump yourself soon, Anderson.

58:21 Drew Let's play a little Germany or Florida. No, no.

58:23 Adam Let's take a call. We got to take it. We got to talk to some chicks.

58:26 Oh, we got to play a song. All right, Anderson, relax. Sex, meth, and death fetish.

58:31 Drew Now can you play before all the judgment?

58:33 Adam I predict Anderson ODs during the break. Like we do that thing where it's like, where's Anderson? It's that neighbor where nobody checked on him until the smell started coming from the room. And he actually collapsed on his hot plate while he was cooking some cup of noodles.

58:48 Caller So really the smell was horrible. That's disgusting.

58:51 Adam Yeah, sad. Very sad. All right, we take one call, then we hear a Papa Roach song. That's what we do. All right. Eve?

59:00 Caller Hi, you guys. How are you?

59:01 Adam What's happening?

59:02 Caller First, I wanted to congratulate you, Dr. Drew, on Cracked. It's a fantastic book. I really enjoyed it.

59:07 Caller That's very kind of you.

59:09 Caller Yeah. Okay, my question is, I had unprotected sex on Sunday, and I don't think that the guy I was with had an orgasm. But if he did, I'm not thinking that I could be pregnant, but I don't think he did.

59:23 Adam Even if he didn't, what a compliment he paid you.

59:26 Papa Roach Pre-sperm or pre-...

59:27 Drew Yeah, the pre-cum.

59:28 Papa Roach Pre-cum, yeah.

59:29 Drew So that he still could have leaked a little bit in you, and that could be enough to get you pregnant. I still believe that there's a potential window up to five days that you can take...

59:39 Adam She had sex on Sunday.

59:41 Papa Roach Just punch yourself in the stomach really hard.

59:43 Drew No, that won't do crap.

59:44 Adam It won't. But shouldn't she do it just to sort of punish herself for having unprotected sex?

59:49 Drew Yeah, I guess you're right.

59:50 Adam Just flog yourself? You could burn yourself with a cigarette or something.

59:53 Drew Yeah, there's a point, Adam.

59:54 Adam It's called aversion therapy.

59:56 Drew Good advice, Adam. Well done. Thank you. Thank you. But Eve, I still think up to five days you should take the morning after pill, the emergency contraception.

1:00:03 Adam Who was the guy? Was he your boyfriend?

1:00:06 Caller Yeah, he's my boyfriend. But Drew, how can I get that tomorrow?

1:00:09 Drew Yes.

1:00:09 Caller And how would I... where would I get it?

1:00:11 Drew There's a phone number, 1-888-NOT-TOO-LATE. They can refer you to a pharmacy near you where you can get it without prescription.

1:00:17 Adam So what happened? Why didn't your boyfriend have an orgasm? What are you doing wrong?

1:00:22 Caller Well, I don't know. See, it was my first time.

1:00:24 Drew Why was he wearing a condom?

1:00:27 Caller I don't know.

1:00:29 Caller In the heat of the moment.

1:00:30 Drew How old is the guy?

1:00:32 Caller I'm 20.

1:00:34 Adam You're 15 and he's 20?

1:00:35 Drew He's a criminal.

1:00:36 Caller Yeah, I know.

1:00:37 Adam Hold on, is it Anderson? Be honest. Yeah, it's horrible. You shouldn't be seeing this guy. What are you doing?

1:00:45 Caller I know. I know. I know you guys would say that because you're right.

1:00:50 Adam Do your parents have a Christmas tree?

1:00:52 Caller No, my dad's a dick.

1:00:53 Caller He doesn't have a Christmas tree.

1:00:55 Adam That's what happens. Do you see what happens when you don't get a Christmas tree for your daughter?

1:00:58 Papa Roach Your daughter gets pregnant.

1:00:59 Drew Your dad's a dick. Is that what she says?

1:01:01 Adam Yeah.

1:01:02 Caller Well, I had ridiculous amounts of trauma. So yeah, I'm kind of making some mistakes, I think. So maybe.

1:01:08 Drew Yeah, but you're so smart. You have reasonable insight. Come on.

1:01:13 Adam I can't believe you're 15. You sound like you're 25.

1:01:15 Drew Right. You know you got some trauma issues. You know you're attracted to A-holes because you have an A-hole dad. How about you get a little help with that? Go support at least. So somebody to help you sort of reflect back your choices.

1:01:26 Caller Give you some more. You know what? I wish I could go to therapy, but I don't have money and I don't have a way.

1:01:31 Drew A 12-step. Are you codependent? Is your dad an alcoholic?

1:01:35 Caller My mom is.

1:01:36 Drew OK, go to some Al-Anon.

1:01:37 Adam Let me say this about money for therapy. You can't afford not to afford therapy or Christmas tree. See what I did there?

1:01:46 Caller Is there anywhere I could go?

1:01:47 Drew Brevity, the soul of comedy.

1:01:51 Papa Roach Al-Anon is free. You don't have to have money to go to that.

1:01:53 Caller It's like a support group.

1:01:54 Adam Right.

1:01:55 Caller Oh, really? Oh, yes.

1:01:56 Adam Go to Al-Anon.

1:01:57 Drew Just call AA, you get in the phone book, and ask for an Al-Anon referral, and they'll come pick you up at Al-Teen, I guess what you're using.

1:02:04 Adam Call AA, and then call A-Hole, and dump him. All right?

1:02:08 Caller Okay, guys.

1:02:09 Drew And then 888, not too late for a referral for the morning after film.

1:02:13 Oh.

1:02:14 Adam I don't know, 20 and a 15, creepy. That's a creepy guy.

1:02:17 Drew Well, she knows why it's creepy. She's got the jerk dad, and it's always unresolved trauma issues, and she's acting out. And she knows it clearly. I mean, she was clear about it, like, yeah, I got all the stuff.

1:02:27 Adam You know what's like extra super creepy is the guy who's banging the underage chick and not using a condom. Once in a while, there's the guy who's banging his old lady sister or something and not using the condom. Like, I don't blame a guy for not using a condom all the time, but you're on top of a 15 year old. It's time to don the condom.

1:02:47 Drew All that to me is just, it's just primitive man. Yeah. It's just, it's just Neanderthal man. Just, no consequence, no what else.

1:02:55 Adam That's right.

1:02:56 Drew Just moving through life like some sort of wild animal.

1:02:59 Adam Well, you gotta eat and you gotta ask.

1:03:00 Papa Roach We are animals.

1:03:01 Drew Yeah, we are, but we have the capacity for more. And somehow we've lost track of that somewhere.

1:03:06 Adam Yeah, you do, Drew. I'm not sure if we do.

1:03:09 Drew Well, you kinda do.

1:03:10 Papa Roach Adam's kinda does. He's got the animal caveman thing.

1:03:12 Caller He's got that one.

1:03:14 Adam I traded out some booze for drugs for Michelle.

1:03:16 Yeah.

1:03:18 Drew Saw that go down.

1:03:20 Adam It was like a guns for hostages sorta situation, yeah. It's awesome.

1:03:24 Caller A bottle of wine for some cuelos.

1:03:26 Adam Yeah, Drew, where are those cuelos?

1:03:29 Drew I'll go look for them.

1:03:30 Adam All right, go look for the cuelos.

1:03:31 Drew No, it's not here a song. No song.

1:03:33 Adam What?

1:03:33 Drew No song tonight.

1:03:34 Adam You don't wanna hear a song?

1:03:35 Drew No, no power for a song.

1:03:35 Adam Well, I'll tell you what. You know what, you just earned yourself? You just earned yourself a song, mister.

1:03:40 Drew Nothing's safe but eight penises.

1:03:42 Adam That's right. Anderson is going insane.

1:03:44 Caller He went insane.

1:03:45 Adam Yeah, he went insane. It's the last show. Yeah, it's the last show and it truly is Anderson's last show because he's going to get fired after this.

1:03:54 Drew Here's the problem. He's drunk and sort of tripping.

1:03:58 Adam Yeah.

1:03:58 Drew And we have a big technical meltdown.

1:03:59 Caller I'm not drunk.

1:04:00 Drew What happened?

1:04:01 Caller It's not my technical... whatever, man.

1:04:03 Adam It's not my technical meltdown.

1:04:04 Papa Roach He's having technical difficulty.

1:04:05 Caller I'll carry both of you.

1:04:07 Adam Coincidence? I think not. That's right.

1:04:10 Caller It's not my technical doubt. No, no, no, no.

1:04:13 Papa Roach He can't even talk, dude.

1:04:14 Caller I can't because I'm tired. I've been working my best out for like three weeks.

1:04:17 Adam Tired of doing blow.

1:04:19 Caller Tired of listening to you, buddy.

1:04:21 Adam All right, buddy.

1:04:21 Caller Well, you're not going to have to do that much longer.

1:04:25 Adam All right. Anderson, please drink some of my coffee.

1:04:28 Caller Would you talk to Papa Roach about spitting, please? Because you've been talking about it for a week and you didn't talk to him about it tonight.

1:04:33 Papa Roach We already talked about it.

1:04:35 Drew The phone, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Anderson, you're losing it, dude. Yeah, the only thing more, I'm coming over there to get you.

1:04:40 Adam Drew, intervention.

1:04:41 Drew I'm taking him to my hospital.

1:04:42 Adam Intervention. Take him with you.

1:04:44 Drew I'm just going to throw him in the back of the car.

1:04:46 Adam All right, you want help? I don't bring some duct tape.

1:04:48 Caller You don't need the, he's going to be like, he's going to be like.

1:04:50 Adam A plunger.

1:04:51 Drew A plunger, yeah.

1:04:51 Adam Okay. All right, let's hear something from Papa Roach. Anderson, dude, you got to maintain. I got to do that thing where I do that dude maintain thing. All right, this song is called Scars. Yeah, Papa Roach, everybody. You like that, huh? Getting Away With Murder, yeah, it's a good song. Wheels are coming off the wagon around here. Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Producer Lauren. She's had a few boozes tonight. Yeah, she's coming on. Anderson is Anderson's like mainlining model glue or something. I mean, if the cops show up, they're going to have to hit him with multiple darts. You know what I mean? Is be one of those taser taser at the situations.

1:09:04 Caller Yeah, I'm worried. I'm right where you are, man. I'm right where you are most nice.

1:09:18 Adam I drink a fifth of a bag of mushrooms before I come in here every day. How dare you? I drink the cheap wine when I get home or on the way home.

1:09:27 Drew Thank you.

1:09:28 Caller I am home.

1:09:28 Drew You drink Claret.

1:09:31 Adam That's right.

1:09:31 Drew Find vintage wine. When you go home.

1:09:33 Caller I saw it.

1:09:33 Adam It's true.

1:09:34 Caller I saw where you drink.

1:09:35 Adam If Anderson lives at the studio, then he should be allowed to drink where he lives.

1:09:41 Caller I do live here. I don't have a place to live, actually.

1:09:44 Papa Roach This is the place where I live.

1:09:46 Caller I'm not joking. This is where I live.

1:09:47 Drew Well, we're not laughing at the content of what you're saying.

1:09:50 Caller And listen, Drew, come on.

1:09:52 Adam Anderson, and let me just explain something. I know how these things get, and I want you, I like the surly Anderson. I don't want the weird, I don't want the part where you start crying and saying you really have a crush on Drew or doing anything like that. Just keep either can be lovey-dovey or you can be surly, but you can't get modeling and sampling.

1:10:10 Caller I like you.

1:10:11 That's right.

1:10:12 Caller I'm talking about you, you're a very ass, many, many nuts, man.

1:10:18 Adam Anderson, here's the good news. I am staring at 200 Class A cigarettes that you can either smoke or sell individually or in a pack on eBay. All right, buddy.

1:10:30 Caller Good times.

1:10:30 Adam You use that money toward the cleaning deposit for your next no bedroom apartment, OK?

1:10:37 Caller I'm quiet.

1:10:38 Adam All right, buddy.

1:10:39 Caller Anderson.

1:10:39 Adam All right. All right.

1:10:41 Caller Let's go.

1:10:41 Adam Here we go.

1:10:42 Caller Come on. Come on.

1:10:42 Adam Let's break it down. He's cool, Drew.

1:10:45 Drew Just give me that plunger.

1:10:46 Caller Jessica?

1:10:47 Caller Yeah.

1:10:48 Adam You're 21?

1:10:49 Caller Yeah.

1:10:50 Adam What's happening?

1:10:52 Caller Well, some of my friends are worried that I'm a sex addict. I'm not too worried myself. I mean, granted, I've been with a lot of people, but I'm not too worried about it myself. But they're worried that like I'm going to get hurt or something. And I really don't see it that way.

1:11:08 Adam Like a puncture in ear drum or something?

1:11:10 Caller Hurt emotionally or get like it gets a little rough.

1:11:14 Caller I think they're more worried about like rape or something like that.

1:11:18 Drew STD or something?

1:11:19 Caller No. I mean, I use protection and everything. I don't do it unless it's protected. I'm on birth control myself. We use condoms and all that kind of stuff.

1:11:28 Caller It's all safe and sound.

1:11:30 Adam Well, look, they're scared you're going to hook up with some bad trick. He's going to kill you in his van and bury you in the desert.

1:11:36 Caller Right.

1:11:37 Papa Roach I mean, what do you do? Do you just hang out places and just grab the miscellaneous dude?

1:11:41 Drew Women get much more. I'm sorry.

1:11:44 Papa Roach Yeah. So I was just asking you, do you just like go to bars or go places and just be like, all right, I'm taking you.

1:11:50 Drew Yeah.

1:11:50 Adam What do you do?

1:11:51 Papa Roach You hang out on the street corners and pick up the first guy that stops.

1:11:54 Caller Yeah.

1:11:54 Adam If you're a chick, you can.

1:11:55 Caller It's not like being a hooker on the corner or anything like that. It's just we go out to places or whatever. We meet a guy, hang out with him for a little bit. We go out as friends one or two times or whatever, and then it just happens.

1:12:11 Drew You see, women are much more concerned about this behavior in their peers than men are. Women, when there's a wild vagina in the group, it's like, oh my gosh, she's crazy. Yeah, she's a ho. They tell her, believe me.

1:12:24 Adam Have you seen the majestic vagina in the wild?

1:12:28 Caller Oh, it's majestic.

1:12:29 Adam It can be striking.

1:12:30 Papa Roach Quite striking, majestic, majestic.

1:12:33 Drew Yeah, the free range is even more.

1:12:34 Adam Try to stay upwind.

1:12:36 Drew Free range. Exactly. Free range. But Jessica, your friends, I guarantee you, are talking about you to guys.

1:12:44 Adam Free range, you need a little trim before you get done.

1:12:46 Drew I know. They got a guy, she's all, I'm gonna watch out for her. She's, oh, I mean, I guarantee you, they're talking to this baritone guy.

1:12:52 Adam Women are catting. They go after women.

1:12:55 Drew And that's kind of what alerts guys that you're good to go, too.

1:12:58 Adam But, and here's the thing. Three quarters of the woman, sweetie, I'm concerned about you. I hope you're taking this right way, but I'm saying it because I'm worried. Three quarters of that is just spitefulness or jealousness. They're just growing with you.

1:13:11 Caller They're more worried I'm going to take their boyfriend.

1:13:14 Caller Right. That's exactly right.

1:13:16 Adam Have you done that? Well, that's jealousy.

1:13:17 Caller No, I've never done, I'm naturally a happy-go-lucky, you know, friend with everybody person. You know, I rarely stay five minutes in one spot.

1:13:26 Adam Let me explain something to him. When she was explaining that she just screws every guy she meets, I had her at about 155 pounds. And when I heard happy-go-lucky, she shot up to 185. What's that? I just kept ratcheting. Happy-go-lucky, that's code for big ass.

1:13:43 Drew Okay, let's hear it.

1:13:44 Adam Yeah. There are no happy-go-lucky supermodels.

1:13:46 Drew Interesting.

1:13:47 Adam They're not happy-go-lucky. Jessica?

1:13:49 Caller Yeah.

1:13:50 Adam Big gal?

1:13:52 Caller Nope, I hover around 120.

1:13:54 Adam Hover around 120?

1:13:56 Drew You're smoking a bonk or something while you're talking to her? No, she's like, you're fat.

1:14:00 Adam Uh-oh, now we got the other set. We're going the other direction now.

1:14:03 Caller It depends on how much I work in a week.

1:14:07 Adam In terms of how much you work. What, do you work at a fudge factory or something?

1:14:11 Caller No, if I work a hectic week at work, I rarely have time to eat, so it's like water weight. It fluctuates.

1:14:17 Drew You're overweight.

1:14:18 Adam All right.

1:14:18 Drew What kind of work do you do?

1:14:20 Caller I work at a grocery store.

1:14:23 Adam Drew worked at a fudge factory in high school. He was in the shipping and packing.

1:14:28 Drew You're fab.

1:14:29 Adam The packing department.

1:14:30 Drew I, in fact, was a union packer for many years.

1:14:36 Papa Roach Touch that fudge. That's my fudge.

1:14:37 Adam Yeah. What can Brown do for you with this original that was long before UPS ever picked it up?

1:14:41 Drew Absolutely. Just look for the union label.

1:14:44 Adam Drew is a champion fudge packer, by the way. He used to have seminars on it.

1:14:48 Drew I beg your pardon. They called me Brown.

1:14:50 Adam They called him Brown. Yes.

1:14:52 Papa Roach What's up, Brown?

1:14:53 Adam He had called him the Michael Jordan of fudge packing. The day he left the company, the owner cried.

1:14:58 Drew I was the union leader of the AP.

1:15:02 Papa Roach Well-decorated fudge packer.

1:15:04 Adam He had a sign, by the way, he worked under the sign that said 322 days since last fudge packing accident.

1:15:11 Drew I was a per diem packer to begin with.

1:15:13 Adam He started off by packing per diem.

1:15:15 Papa Roach Per diem?

1:15:16 Adam So you did piece.

1:15:18 Drew Per diem. Per diem work.

1:15:19 Adam Right. So each piece of fudge, were you doing piece work?

1:15:23 Drew No, no, per diem. By the day. Per diem. I was not a contract packer.

1:15:26 Adam You got paid by the day. I thought you got paid by the fudge packer.

1:15:31 Drew The fudge packer? No, no, no. That was 100 years ago they did it that way.

1:15:35 Adam Okay, so you got paid by the day.

1:15:38 Drew By the day. Per diem. And then I got a contract and then I became a unionizer.

1:15:42 Adam There were bonus situations for you in the packing department, yes?

1:15:46 Drew Oh, yes.

1:15:46 Adam You pack a certain amount of fudge each week over a certain lot in amount, you get a fudge packing bonus, yes?

1:15:52 Drew Oh, yes.

1:15:53 Adam And oftentimes you pack fudge with nuts with your nuts. Fudge pack pack and a fudge pack with your nuts. You're in charge of the nut fudge packing.

1:16:05 Drew Well, that would be the payoff.

1:16:06 Adam Right.

1:16:07 Caller I see you finished with the nuts.

1:16:09 Drew Where do you think that they got the payday from and the candy bar?

1:16:13 Adam Yeah.

1:16:20 Adam All right, Drew, I drew your fancy, the fudge, fabulous guy, fudge packing king of Pasadena. It was known as parents proud. Oh, preening when they saw the packing, they walked in on him packing fudge.

1:16:33 Drew No, they didn't want to be fudge packing preening.

1:16:35 Adam That's right.

1:16:36 Caller That's right.

1:16:37 Adam And a tear, tears of joy came to father's eyes. I believe those were joy.

1:16:41 Caller That's my son.

1:16:42 Adam That's my son.

1:16:43 The best fudge packer.

1:16:45 Yeah. Yeah.

1:16:47 Adam All right. You ready to go? He was a Paul Bunyan of fudge packers. Big, big man. Yeah. All right. All right. You ready? Who are we talking to?

1:16:54 Drew We're talking to Jessica.

1:16:55 Adam Oh, Jessica.

1:16:56 Drew Jessica, here's the problem here. Yeah. Is whether or not you do have a problem is a separate issue from how your friends are behaving. Does this behavior bother you at all?

1:17:06 Caller Occasionally, like, you know, when I'm sitting by myself in my room looking back on my past going, God, what am I doing?

1:17:11 Drew All right. You have some shame with it. Is there bipolar illness in your family?

1:17:16 Caller Probably, yeah.

1:17:17 Drew Okay. So this is kind of-

1:17:18 Caller Maybe it runs in my family.

1:17:20 Drew Well, this kind of smacks of bipolar.

1:17:23 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:17:24 Adam Well, why don't you reel it in a little?

1:17:25 Drew And if you're an- is there addiction or alcohols in your family? No. All right. So you're less likely to have been an addict. And the kind of quality, what you call happy-go-lucky is probably hypomania. You're just always up, up, up, up, and going, you know, doing impulsive and hypersexual things. That may not be the direction you want to go. You'll look back at that with a certain degree of discomfort and shame, and it may not be as satisfying as you think it is in the moment.

1:17:49 Adam Jessica.

1:17:50 Drew Like I look back at my fudge-packing history and I have to cringe a little bit.

1:17:53 Adam There's a certain amount of shame involved.

1:17:54 Drew Well, there were things I could have done. And, you know, I mean, I-

1:17:56 Papa Roach You could have packed it better.

1:17:59 Adam Yeah.

1:17:59 Papa Roach No, no.

1:17:59 Caller You could have packed it tighter.

1:18:01 Adam You probably used a little more vigor.

1:18:03 Drew No, it just is an opportunity cost to everything. I could have done a lot of other things.

1:18:07 Adam Instead of packing fudge.

1:18:08 Drew Instead of packing fudge, yeah.

1:18:09 Adam I see.

1:18:09 Drew I have a certain amount of remorse about that.

1:18:11 Adam Okay. All right. Jessica.

1:18:15 Caller Yeah.

1:18:17 Adam Yeah, you could have got a job that we worked with your hands, doing hand jobs, for instance. You know what I'm saying?

1:18:23 Drew I was approached for that.

1:18:24 Adam Okay. All right. Well, we'll talk, but we can't live in the past.

1:18:28 Drew No, I know what you're saying.

1:18:29 Adam You chose at Hershey Highway.

1:18:32 Drew The packing path.

1:18:33 Adam Right. You took a packing path. Jessica?

1:18:36 Caller Yeah.

1:18:37 Adam All right, baby. Why don't you just reel it in a little? Why don't you get a boyfriend and don't tell me about any of this crap.

1:18:42 Caller Well, it's not even that. It's like even if I do get a boyfriend, they get pissed off because I'm so friendly with everybody. They think that I'm kind of like chunky.

1:18:51 Drew Well, you're so friendly because you don't have good boundaries, and you do tend to go after guys. So the guy sensed that, and they're a little worried about it. And they also, by the way, know how you came onto them and hopped in the sack rather quickly. And that makes guys a little uncomfortable sometimes.

1:19:02 Adam Just stop acting out, would you? There are plenty of ways to get a boyfriend and not freak him out. Just get the guy and don't sabotage it. Don't tell him about all the guys you've been on top of, and leave the guys, you know, don't make goo-goo eyes at the guy across the bar when you're with your boyfriend.

1:19:18 Papa Roach Yeah, we don't want to say that.

1:19:18 Caller I'm kind of like chunky.

1:19:22 Adam All right, we're going to cut Papa Roach loose. Actually, I don't mean to say it that way, but they're just staying for the first hour and a half of the show. So God bless you guys for coming in.

1:19:34 Papa Roach Thanks for having us, man.

1:19:35 Adam And sticking with us. I know it's a show is Catch is Catch Can.

1:19:40 Papa Roach Hey, it's on. Good night.

1:19:43 Drew We've got our producers loaded, our engineers loaded.

1:19:45 Adam Yeah.

1:19:46 Drew Somebody's pumping vapors in.

1:19:47 Adam I'm going to start eating some of this Ativan and open that red wine.

1:19:49 Papa Roach Am I the only sober one here?

1:19:51 Adam I think you are. Huh?

1:19:53 Papa Roach Dr. Drew, what do you want? I am sober, but I think somebody put something in your coffee.

1:19:57 Adam Yeah. Yeah, it's surreal. All right.

1:20:00 Papa Roach Good night.

1:20:01 Adam Thanks a lot, guys.

1:20:02 Caller Yeah, thanks for having us.

1:20:03 Adam Everyone, get away with Murder Name of the CD. We'll see you guys real soon and until next time. Oh, wait a minute. We're not stopping the show. We're just going to break. Don't make that noise. We'll be right back after this.

1:20:21 Caller Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20:24 Caller We'll be right back.

1:20:38 Caller Woo.

1:20:39 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Man, what a show tonight.

1:20:45 Caller Yeesh.

1:20:46 Adam Papa Roach heading out to the parking lot. And we got a little more show to go. So let's do that, Drew. What do you say about it?

1:20:55 Drew Yeah, let's finish it up.

1:20:56 Adam Ready to ride? On a high. On a high. Nathan? That really sounds like one of. The things I'm doing in Japanese. I realize.

1:21:35 Drew Try.

1:21:37 Adam Nanachi.

1:21:38 Caller Okay.

1:21:39 Adam Nathan?

1:21:41 Caller Yeah.

1:21:42 Adam All right.

1:21:43 Papa Roach And a little phone.

1:21:44 Drew 404 minutes on hold. Maybe he's snoring.

1:21:47 Adam No, no. That line was dead.

1:21:50 Drew No, no. But maybe it's because he's like.

1:21:52 Adam Nathan?

1:21:53 Caller Yeah, I'm still here.

1:21:54 Drew There he is.

1:21:55 Adam Yeah. Loving you, buddy.

1:21:58 Caller How's it going?

1:21:59 Adam Going great.

1:22:00 Caller All right. I have a question.

1:22:04 Caller All right.

1:22:05 Caller I've been with this girl for a little while now, it's like over a month, and we're sexually active and something with her that's happened with her specifically and not any other girl that I've been with. Is that like when I go to reach an orgasm, I orgasm once and then it's like right when it dampers off, it hits again. I didn't know if there's a reason for that or.

1:22:27 Drew There can be a double little peak for some people if you're really getting it right. Well, probably won't be all the time.

1:22:34 Adam Four minutes on hold.

1:22:36 Drew It's happened once or twice.

1:22:36 Adam What do you mean right when it dampers off?

1:22:39 Drew You mean it's just a peak waxes and wanes a little bit.

1:22:42 Caller It can happen.

1:22:44 Adam No, I don't understand this. You mean you have an orgasm and then how long until the next orgasm?

1:22:50 Caller I have an orgasm and then when everything seems to be done, it hits again. I have another orgasm.

1:22:57 Adam Yeah. My question is how long? Not when everything seems to be done.

1:23:01 Caller Not even like one or two seconds after the first one's done.

1:23:05 Drew Is the first one ever is actually done or just sort of waning?

1:23:08 Adam When done, it's still in the air a second later. If you're 16.

1:23:12 Drew Yeah.

1:23:12 Adam 16. You know my hang time at 16 was like better than Ray Guy's.

1:23:18 Caller Well.

1:23:19 Adam Drew, you know Ray Guy's?

1:23:20 Drew No.

1:23:21 Adam Drew, you don't know who the guy who best punter in football is.

1:23:25 Caller Yeah.

1:23:26 Drew That was way back, yes?

1:23:28 Adam The guy played for 20 years.

1:23:30 Drew The Raiders.

1:23:31 Adam Yes. You do. Drew, you just assume you don't know anything I say.

1:23:35 Caller But why do you do that? Why do you just go?

1:23:37 Adam Yeah. I said hang time. That's how every joke ends with you being mad. Know what's going on?

1:23:45 Drew Pretended I knew. All right.

1:23:50 Adam Here's your point. It's 16. You should be hitting the ceiling fan. Yeah.

1:23:57 Drew But the fact is he has an orgasm. It starts tapering and then it comes on again because he's really into this girl. She hits it just right. Yeah.

1:24:07 Adam But we're talking about a second and a half.

1:24:10 Drew No, no. He means it.

1:24:12 Adam That's what he's saying.

1:24:12 Drew You're saying you don't actually finish.

1:24:16 Adam Yeah.

1:24:17 Caller It's kind of, it's never actually finished. Like right when it dampers off.

1:24:21 Drew Right. It's going to, it's about to finish and then it seems to come back a little more intensely. That's normal.

1:24:27 Adam That's 16. You got a good donor.

1:24:29 Caller Exactly.

1:24:31 Adam Yeah.

1:24:31 Drew Yeah.

1:24:32 Adam Drew knows who someone is. Are you ready to rock?

1:24:35 Drew Here we go.

1:24:36 Adam Talk to Rick.

1:24:37 Caller Yeah.

1:24:38 Drew Rick?

1:24:39 Caller Yeah.

1:24:40 Adam 21?

1:24:41 Caller Yeah.

1:24:42 Adam Yeah. Rick.

1:24:43 Caller Actually, I wanted to know if there was any scientific backing behind the breaking the seal theory when you're drinking. Like when you get drunk, you can hold that first pee for a long time. But once you pee, you have to pee every five minutes.

1:24:57 Drew We need to talk to her.

1:24:58 Adam Yeah. We'd rather talk to your female friend.

1:25:01 Caller Yeah. So would I. But all right. Here, you can talk to her.

1:25:09 Caller Adam Carolla.

1:25:10 Adam Hey. What's happening, drunken chick?

1:25:14 Caller Yeah, man.

1:25:15 Adam Hey, man. We may set you up the Engineer Anderson. You guys could vomit on each other. That would be awesome.

1:25:22 Caller Adam, I'm in love with you.

1:25:23 Caller I want to have your children.

1:25:28 Adam You guys like to party? Who are you there? Hey, first off, let's lose the nads that are hanging out. You know what I mean?

1:25:40 Caller Because they like it in the ass.

1:25:43 Caller It's been discussed.

1:25:45 Adam The guys. Use a strap on with them.

1:25:50 Caller No, we haven't yet.

1:25:51 Caller Yeah. We've been, you know.

1:25:54 Adam Sure. Sure. With the holidays coming up and everything.

1:25:58 Caller Merry Christmas.

1:26:00 Adam Well, thank you for Merry Christmas. And may I say, happy belated Hanukkah. You're Mormon. These are Jewish ladies.

1:26:07 Caller We've been here eight times.

1:26:09 You're Mormon?

1:26:10 Adam Yeah. All right, Anderson.

1:26:12 All right.

1:26:13 Adam So now, you're the girlfriend of Rick.

1:26:16 Caller You're Mormon. Well, there's one of them.

1:26:20 Adam Anderson, they're calling from Brea. They're not going to go for the Mormon thing.

1:26:25 Drew They can't really hear anything.

1:26:26 Adam Yeah, they can't hear anything.

1:26:27 Drew I'm suddenly more interested in Rick's question.

1:26:29 Adam All right. So ladies, are you guys hot?

1:26:32 Caller Are you good looking? Ask the guys. They both are.

1:26:36 Adam Really?

1:26:37 Caller Yes, they're gorgeous.

1:26:38 Caller As we cuddle.

1:26:39 Adam And are they your girlfriends?

1:26:45 Caller I am.

1:26:45 Caller What about my girlfriend?

1:26:46 Adam Are they both your girlfriends?

1:26:48 Caller Just one.

1:26:49 Adam Just one.

1:26:50 Caller I'm not that lucky yet. We're trying to get her drunk enough so we can.

1:26:54 Adam Wow, Drew. And think about you and your passion and what you would have done for these women back in your prime.

1:27:00 Drew You Mormon?

1:27:02 Caller All right, Rick.

1:27:03 Caller Yeah.

1:27:04 Adam I put, oh, Rick's, wait, you got, you got, you got like, it's like the White House. All right. So Rick, what about, I mean, Drew, what about that where you take that first whiz? Because there is that phenomenon where you drink all night and you never take a whiz and then all of a sudden you bust your urethral hymen.

1:27:23 Drew No, no, no, no, no.

1:27:23 Adam And now you got a whiz.

1:27:24 Drew That's not what that is.

1:27:25 Caller That is, what is that?

1:27:26 Drew I'm just thinking a bit more in terms of the tank.

1:27:28 Caller I just want to know what's behind that.

1:27:30 Drew It's basically, it's not, it's not a, that's not an issue of your bladder, I don't believe. That's the bladders. You sort of have topped off and now it's all flowing into the bladder. Your tank is filled up, flowing over the edge into the bladder. And it's just gonna keep feeling.

1:27:44 Adam What's your tank? Your stomach?

1:27:45 Drew No, your tank is your, your total, but the kidney just takes fluid out of your body.

1:27:50 Adam Right.

1:27:50 Drew And it can't do it instantly. I mean, to put instantly what goes in, does instantly come out. It has to be the more pressure behind the more. And there's also a sort of a diuretic function of some alcohol and caffeine and things.

1:28:02 Adam It makes you not, it makes you not urinate.

1:28:03 Drew It makes you urinate more.

1:28:05 Adam Well, it does. Oh, that's right. That's right. But really it does happen where it seems like I'll go to a party and drink a six pack of beer, not make a move. And then there's other times when it's game on and it's going every five, 10 minutes.

1:28:21 Drew I really think that's a function of your body fluid status when you start drinking. That's like saying, I put the hose in the pool and it overflowed immediately. But last night, right, I did it and it took a half hour before.

1:28:32 Adam One time it was full and one time it wasn't.

1:28:34 Drew Exactly.

1:28:35 Adam All right. So there's nothing to that phenomena.

1:28:37 Drew I don't think so.

1:28:37 Caller Wives down.

1:28:39 Adam What about just the idea of initiating a process and making it that much easier to do it the next time? Psychologically even.

1:28:48 Drew It's a bladder thing. The bladder has a certain filling pressure. All right.

1:28:52 Adam Stick with your bland bladder excuse. You ready to rock here, Drew?

1:28:55 Caller You're done with those girls?

1:28:57 Adam Not really, but sort of. It's tough. I'm torn.

1:29:01 Just do it.

1:29:02 Adam They're hot.

1:29:03 Drew You should say goodbye to them anyway.

1:29:04 Adam Anderson and Sister Mormon.

1:29:07 Caller Rick?

1:29:09 Adam What's happening, ladies?

1:29:10 Caller There you are. We lost you.

1:29:11 Adam Yeah. Well, not for long.

1:29:15 Caller Anyway, you guys.

1:29:16 Drew I'm smoking.

1:29:17 Caller Shut up. You're saying to them.

1:29:18 Drew I'm smoking pot too.

1:29:19 Adam Yeah.

1:29:20 Drew They're high and loaded. All right.

1:29:21 Adam Let me talk to Rick for a second. Rick. Yeah. Let me explain something. I know you want to get everyone high and drunk and you want to have sex with them. You're going to be sleeping in a pile of vomit. You got to taper them down now. You understand?

1:29:38 Caller Yeah. No, I know. I'm taking them both home in a minute.

1:29:41 Adam Yeah.

1:29:41 Caller Yeah. We got a long drive without plenty of time to sober up. Just enough.

1:29:47 Drew Where you driving?

1:29:48 Caller Huh?

1:29:49 Drew I make sure I'm off those freeways. Where you driving, Drew?

1:29:52 Adam Drew's going to take the side streets. 57?

1:29:56 Caller I'm not too bad myself.

1:29:57 Adam All right. Good. That's good.

1:30:00 Drew What's the ethnicity of those two? I heard different.

1:30:03 Adam Really?

1:30:03 Drew I heard different ethnicities fly through.

1:30:05 Adam Rick, what do you got over there?

1:30:07 Caller What do you mean?

1:30:08 Adam What? We got any ethnicities over there?

1:30:11 Drew There's definitely a Hispanic thing.

1:30:12 Adam We got a Hispanic thing going? No. I didn't hear it.

1:30:15 Caller I don't know, sir. Are you Hispanic? No. What are you?

1:30:18 Caller Italian.

1:30:20 Caller We got one Italian and two Italians and a Czech. No, not the right German.

1:30:26 Adam All right.

1:30:26 Caller That's hot.

1:30:27 Adam Isn't it, Drew? 100 percent as usual. See, here's the thing. When it... Let me just explain something, guys. You try to get... Your idea is to get the chick loaded so you can have sex with them. And here's the problem. You can't get them too loaded. They pass out and vomit on you. See what I'm saying? I know it sounds like a horrible speech I'm giving people, but I'm just being realistic. It's like, you're going to, no, no, keep drinking. No, no, no, no, have it all. And then it'll be like, I had, no, no, no, no, sweetie, keep drinking. They just vomit on you. You gotta ride that line. You know what I mean? Yes, Drew?

1:31:05 Drew Yeah, it's all kind of bad times.

1:31:07 Adam Yeah, it's bad times, but it's good times. It's rape in California, by the way.

1:31:12 Drew That's right.

1:31:12 Adam And I don't know if you know this about rape, Drew. It is not a sexual crime.

1:31:17 Drew What do you mean?

1:31:17 Adam Not sexual crime.

1:31:19 Drew Really?

1:31:19 Adam Yes, it's a violent crime where you come. It's like if I start punching you and began orgasming, that would be rape. That would be rape.

1:31:31 Drew And it would be like any other time you beat me up, the same thing.

1:31:35 Adam Actually, yeah, you're right.

1:31:36 Drew It's just one time you had ejaculation and one time you didn't.

1:31:38 Caller No difference though.

1:31:40 Adam No difference. No difference. Right. That's right. If I started beating you up one time and didn't ejaculate, that would be an act of violence. And if I beat you up the following day and ejaculated, let's say in your hair, would be the same thing.

1:31:54 Caller Just not sexual.

1:31:56 Adam Not sexual.

1:31:57 Drew No more so than the first time.

1:31:58 Adam No more so than any other time you have an orgasm. Drew, you know all those times you have an orgasm when it's not sexual? Oh, yeah.

1:32:06 Drew That's all the time.

1:32:06 Adam All the time. Every time. Right. Have you ever had a sexual orgasm? Let's put it that way.

1:32:11 Caller Yeah.

1:32:13 Adam One time in high school with a girl.

1:32:14 Caller Yeah.

1:32:16 Adam But mainly-

1:32:16 Drew For the most part though.

1:32:17 Adam It's never sexual.

1:32:18 Drew No.

1:32:19 Adam It's violent. It's violent. It's like when you make love to your wife, that's violent.

1:32:23 Drew It just gets neutral. It's nothing. It's nothing.

1:32:25 Adam Yeah. No, no. I'm saying- It's in the air there. When you have consensual sex with your wife, that's an act of violence because you have an orgasm.

1:32:33 Drew How about looking at that?

1:32:34 Adam That's your right. You gotta do the orgasm math. Or- Or?

1:32:37 Drew I'm having nothing.

1:32:38 Adam Or nothing.

1:32:39 Drew I'm just doing nothing to my wife because- When I beat her up, I'm having a violent act. If I beat her up and orgasm-

1:32:44 Adam It's the same.

1:32:45 Drew It's the same thing.

1:32:45 Adam That's right.

1:32:46 Caller Violence.

1:32:46 Adam That's a violent. It's not a sexual act.

1:32:48 Caller Right. All right.

1:32:49 Adam Ready to rock here, Drew?

1:32:50 Caller Yeah. Here we go.

1:32:50 Adam Let's say commercial.

1:32:51 Caller Yes, please.

1:32:52 Adam What do you say? Who are we going to- What's going on today? Germany or Florida? Germany or Florida when we come back after this.

1:33:00 Things are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis. Sex, meth, and death fetishes. Both of them have got these. Guaranteed not to Boria, Germany or Florida.

1:33:34 Adam Yeah, Loveline, whoo, get it on. Gotta get it on. Having a choice but to get it on. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. It's quite a night we're having here.

1:33:44 Drew Indeed it is.

1:33:45 Adam A lot of drama.

1:33:46 Drew Eventful.

1:33:47 Adam A lot of drama in the studio. That's all right. Everyone's just ratcheting, Drew. Quiet, thank you. Ratcheting it up, getting it ready for the big holidays. All right, ready to go here, Drew?

1:33:59 Drew Let's ratchet up.

1:33:59 Caller Hey, Drew, I just wanted to say thanks for the gift. Thank you. And Brian wants to thank you for the gift, too. It's the last show of the year, so why not just say thanks?

1:34:10 Drew Thank you. Anderson, God bless you. Thank you.

1:34:12 Caller Ryan, God bless you.

1:34:13 Adam What did you get him? Oh, your wife got him something.

1:34:17 Caller He has no idea. And it was addressed to Mike. That's the funny thing.

1:34:20 Caller Oh, did she do that?

1:34:22 Caller She did.

1:34:23 Drew She did that. I know she did that.

1:34:24 Adam Why'd she do that?

1:34:26 Drew I go, Mike? She goes, Mike, engineer Mike.

1:34:30 Adam No, no, yeah.

1:34:31 Drew Five years ago. What are you talking about? It's Anderson.

1:34:34 Caller I've been working for six years.

1:34:35 Drew She didn't change it. Well, she was appropriately ashamed of her mistake. Believe me. The fact she didn't correct it.

1:34:41 Caller I find it rather amusing.

1:34:42 Adam If it's any consolation, Anderson, Drew beat the F out of her and then came, and it was an F.

1:34:50 Caller Pure violence.

1:34:51 Drew Pure violence.

1:34:52 Caller As long as it was not rape, I'm cool.

1:34:54 Adam It was not rape just because of your orgasm. All right. So enjoy that gift certificate. What did his wife get you, by the way?

1:35:02 Drew I can't remember. Amazon, probably.

1:35:04 Caller I think it was Amazon, and I can't remember.

1:35:06 Adam Okay. All right. Now, how do I get my...

1:35:09 Caller It was something that you were demeaning last night that was funny when I had it.

1:35:13 Adam Oh, it was a gift certificate. I see. I was making fun of gift certificates. How do I get you our ceremonial carton of cigarettes I get you every year? How do we get that to you, Anderson?

1:35:25 Caller Give it to Lauren.

1:35:26 Drew She has a driver.

1:35:27 Caller Lauren and I make out and have sex every three weeks, three times a week, probably.

1:35:35 Adam I was thinking, actually, Lauren is sort of... She's feeling a little blue because her man...

1:35:40 Drew He's going to pick me up.

1:35:41 Adam Her man is out of the picture. She's had a few boozes and lamenting that.

1:35:48 Drew Anderson's had a couple.

1:35:50 Adam Anderson's had...

1:35:51 Caller I'm not drinking tonight.

1:35:52 Adam He's not drinking tonight.

1:35:53 Drew That's the weird thing. He just talks like that all the time.

1:35:55 Adam No.

1:35:56 Caller I'm dumb.

1:35:57 Adam No, he's not drinking tonight. He's shooting heroin. Now here's the thing. Engineer Chris came into the studio with a little cheer in him, too. And I started thinking, Chris has cleaned himself up. He's got a nice shirt on.

1:36:11 Drew Little aquavelva.

1:36:12 Adam A little sportin aquavelva.

1:36:14 Caller And the Donnas aren't in, so why? Why?

1:36:16 Adam Yeah, the Donnas aren't here, but yet he's still scrubbed fresh from the Donnas the other night.

1:36:21 Drew Big smile.

1:36:22 Adam Big smile. We know. What about Chris and Lauren? You know what I mean? They both share a great love of radio.

1:36:29 Caller They both love you, Adam.

1:36:31 Adam They both realize that I got here because I know somebody and I get to do whatever I want. And why not? You know what I mean? They both could do worse. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. What do you think?

1:36:45 Drew I want to hear Eric's Germany or Florida.

1:36:46 Adam All right. Eric?

1:36:48 Drew Yeah.

1:36:49 Adam What do you think about those two getting together?

1:36:51 Drew It'll be great.

1:36:52 Adam Yeah?

1:36:52 Drew Tonight's the night. All right.

1:36:54 Adam They both have common interests. They both enjoy not laughing at my jokes.

1:37:00 Drew And they have some of the sensibilities.

1:37:02 Caller That's right.

1:37:02 Adam That's true.

1:37:03 Caller Eric?

1:37:03 Drew They have the same exact expression when you tell a joke.

1:37:08 Caller I don't know.

1:37:08 Adam Chris looks a little more out of it. Lauren just looks like she looks more impulsive.

1:37:12 Drew More bewildered.

1:37:13 Adam He looks confused. She looks angry.

1:37:17 Caller Eric?

1:37:17 Adam Yeah, I'm here. Imagine if those two had kids, how funny they wouldn't think I was.

1:37:23 Drew Be good.

1:37:24 Caller If I was the ultimate fan.

1:37:25 Drew It'd be funny.

1:37:26 Adam It would be like a super genetic breed of people that didn't think Adam was funny. All right. Eric, but not Chris. I mean, not Michelle.

1:37:35 Drew Michelle's all over it.

1:37:36 Adam Yeah. Gonna have to do a little breeding action with her. Get out the turkey baster. See if we can work something up. Eric, you're 23. Go ahead.

1:37:45 Caller Yeah. A supermarket checkout worker stashed the day's takings into her shoes and hit herself over the head, pretending she had been held up and attacked by a robber. The 26 year old woman told police she was alone in the store when a masked man forced her at gunpoint to fill several bags with money before knocking her unconscious with a blow to the head. The police became suspicious after examinations revealed the woman's head injury did not match up with the description of the attack. The woman then confessed she had hit herself on the head with a blunt object and stolen the money to pay off debts. Is that in Germany or Florida?

1:38:21 Drew Sounds American.

1:38:21 Adam It sounds Floridian. I feel like they would have examined some videotape here. Is there a market left that doesn't have a surveillance camera?

1:38:34 Drew I was thinking like Alabama even.

1:38:36 Adam Money in the shoes.

1:38:38 Drew These are the people whose homes get picked up in the tornadoes.

1:38:41 Adam Yeah. Okay.

1:38:42 Drew So that's sort of south.

1:38:44 Adam So you were going, I'm going Florida. Eric.

1:38:48 Caller You guys are both wrong. It is Munich, Germany.

1:38:52 Drew Oh, man.

1:38:54 Adam Damn. What a way to go out, Drew.

1:39:00 Caller They're trying to sell us something.

1:39:01 Adam Wounded. Tail between the legs.

1:39:03 Caller Good job.

1:39:04 Adam Brian.

1:39:05 Caller Yeah.

1:39:06 Adam You're 19.

1:39:07 Caller Yeah. This question is for actually for Dr. Drew.

1:39:11 Drew What's up?

1:39:11 Caller I had a problem in the past where I had been smoking marijuana for a little bit. And but in any case, one night I smoked and then I masturbated. And when I ejaculated, it was just total blood mixed with my semen.

1:39:27 Drew Nice.

1:39:28 Caller And I'm wondering, is that that bad thing?

1:39:32 Drew Not necessarily.

1:39:33 Adam Hey, it's not, it's weird. Blood and urine, not too bad.

1:39:38 Drew Blood and urine could be bad. Yeah, but blood and semen not necessarily. Blood urine needs a thorough evaluation. Blood and semen.

1:39:45 Adam No, blood and urine, come on.

1:39:47 Drew Oh, that's a big deal.

1:39:48 Adam No, blood and fecal matter.

1:39:50 Drew That's a big deal too. Well, urine, see urine blood, what looks like blood can be 100 different things.

1:39:56 Adam Yeah.

1:39:56 Drew And it needs to be carefully examined. Blood and the semen is blood and the semen. It's usually.

1:40:00 Adam Blood and the semen is the best. The second best is blood and the urine and the third is blood and stool.

1:40:07 Caller Yes? Because what I was wondering is, I, in the past, I've, I don't know if this has any effect on that or whatever, but I overdosed a bunch of times on like, you know, basically on like Tylenol and basically like, you know, extra strength Tylenol.

1:40:25 Adam You OD'd on Tylenol?

1:40:26 Drew How do you, why?

1:40:27 Adam I know, but what, what are you doing? You trying to kill yourself?

1:40:32 Drew Yeah?

1:40:32 Caller I had some problems, yeah, well just some problems in the past, I mean.

1:40:35 Adam Well, I don't know, it's just, I don't know, multiple OD's on Tylenol just feels sort of, I don't know, like, you know, hang yourself or something, you know?

1:40:45 Caller Yeah, yeah, I was just wondering if that might have some influence.

1:40:49 Drew Yeah, probably, yes, it certainly could. If your liver's not working normally, your clotting system is off. Also, if you take in other kinds of over-the-counter analgesic medications like aspirin or anti-inflammatories, that can cause you a tendency to bleed. And this is something that needs to be looked at by urologists, but 95 times out of 100 ends up being nothing.

1:41:09 Adam So, Brian, are you done with the killing yourself plan?

1:41:12 Caller Yeah, yeah, I've been over there for a while.

1:41:14 Caller Good.

1:41:14 Adam All right, good. Let me get on with your life. Do you have a Christmas tree?

1:41:20 Caller No.

1:41:21 Drew Do you have a job?

1:41:22 Caller Yeah, I have a job. I go to school.

1:41:24 Drew You can be a packer?

1:41:24 Adam You need a Christmas tree.

1:41:26 Caller Yeah.

1:41:27 Adam You can get a job at Drew's old fudge packing plant. There's some pretty damn big fudge packing knee pads to fill.

1:41:34 Drew Work your way up and there's great union opportunities.

1:41:37 Adam Yeah. And you will get the uniform. You'll get the leather smock or the chaps that you'd have to use for protection. Of course, knee pads.

1:41:46 Drew You start as a jumpsuit.

1:41:47 Adam Starting a jumpsuit, but you do wear the knee pads, I believe, with those.

1:41:51 Drew You have to graduate to that.

1:41:52 Adam You move up to the knee pads.

1:41:53 Drew First, you have to be called brown. You have to call you brown.

1:41:56 Adam Right. Move up and again, tips, use plenty of lubrication on your hands, you know, because of the fudge will get heavy and you'll chafe.

1:42:07 Drew It gets thick.

1:42:08 Adam It's thick. Again, if you could reach around and grab the nuts, every once in a while, go ahead and pack that in there too.

1:42:18 Drew That's started with the peanuts. Start with the peanuts and then the nougat.

1:42:21 Adam The point is, is that Drew had a technique where we'd actually reach around and massage or grab the nuts while he was packing the fudge. That way, they didn't get separated. It worked out.

1:42:33 Drew It was quite a...

1:42:34 Adam It was a technique. Yeah.

1:42:35 Drew It was quite an impressive product.

1:42:37 Adam Yeah, it made for a happy, happy finish. Happy ending, happy ending. All right, should we take a little break, Drew? That's why he's missed.

1:42:46 Drew Yes.

1:42:46 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:43:19 Caller Yeah, it's Loveline.

1:43:20 Adam I'd say the beauty of working with a lesbian. Drew says, who's playing in the- Fiesta Balls. Fiesta Balls. Well, Michigan, Michigan finished 10 and two. They did tie, they tied Iowa, which is like kissing your sister, which for me would be cool, but running down stats. They're not a good turf team, and plus they got injuries, and they're not deep. They're weak on the corners. All right. God love engineer Michelle. The glue that holds the show together. You want to talk glue? I'll tell you, I'll drop a name on you. Engineer Anderson.

1:43:55 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:43:56 Adam Yeah.

1:43:56 Caller He was the glue.

1:43:57 Adam Intervention Anderson Anderson. We're going over there with the padded wagon right now.

1:44:01 Drew In the plunger. We're coming to get them.

1:44:03 Adam Coming to get them. Yeah. I want to thank Anderson. I want to thank phone screener Ziggy. Yeah.

1:44:09 Drew Brian.

1:44:10 Adam Brian.

1:44:10 Drew Engineer Mike.

1:44:12 Adam All those guys. They're all gone. Junior producer Lauren and senior producer. Chris. Chris, the suave one didn't even recognize him. Who's the other producer? Ann, producer Ann. God bless all of you. Have a great new year. Have a Merry Merry and until next time, I'm Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:44:36 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Thursday, December 16, 2004