Episode 1000665524643

3:09 Adam Dr. Who? Hey, it's Loveline, madam. That is Dr. Bruce, aka Dr. . Dr. Spazz, filling in for Dr. Drew, board certified physician, also an addiction medicine specialist, also a whiz with the laser.

3:26 Dr. Bruce The laser.

3:27 Adam He will, he will. He's a great, he's a great radio. He's a whiz with the laser, the laser.

3:35 Dr. Bruce Anderson's here to protect me.

3:36 Adam Yes, the laser has more personality than Dr. Bruce, but Bruce makes the payments. Bruce is, will take a tattoo off with that laser. He will make you look 20 years younger.

3:49 Dr. Bruce Can I tell him to go to drbruce.com?

3:51 Adam No, you cannot tell him to go to drbruce.com.

3:54 Dr. Bruce Merciless self-promotion.

3:55 Adam All right, Steve O and Cone are both here tonight from Sum 41. Sum 41, I saw last night at the amphitheater. As a matter of fact, the guy whose place you're taking, Dr. Drew and I brought them out on stage and they played a great set in front of a packed house. Yes?

4:18 Dr. Bruce Ah, I guess.

4:19 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I was being wasted.

4:21 Adam I was too. Did it seem, get in on that mic a little there, Steve O. Oh yeah. Did it, I guess you have good nights, bad nights or good nights and great nights?

4:36 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You know, they're all special in their own little way. I don't really pay attention. Sometimes, usually just daydreaming the whole time. And because I'm way in the back, they just hide the drummer in the back. Then I don't really see the kids. I can't see anything. They're all the same to me.

4:49 Adam Can you have a bad night as a drummer?

4:51 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Absolutely. As a drummer, every night's a bad night. Because you're looking at everybody in the front row and then you're like, that could be me. Why did I fall for this instrument? How did I get into that?

5:00 Dr. Bruce What's wrong with drummer jokes? I don't understand.

5:02 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I don't know. It's a complicated instrument. It requires time and I'm saying, you know, I don't get it. It's a bassist. I think, you know, it was Cone. Sure. Yeah. They're the bassists. You're going to start ragging on my instrument now. Yes. This is what you're going to do? Well, I have to deflect the insults.

5:18 Adam Drummers are the clown princes of the band, of the rock business. It dawned on me many years ago when Darren from Goldfinger came in here with his pants around his ankles. And I thought, yes, drummers are goofballs and have a sort of healthy, low self-esteem. But too self-deprecating for my money. These are talented musicians who deserve as much underage poon tang on the bus as the lead singer. Am I right?

5:46 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Absolutely. You know, that's, well, I suppose, yeah, the underage poon tang thing, if we could work that into the... Underage? Any age. It's got a pulse. Even if it didn't have a pulse.

6:00 Adam What is the age in, do you know this? What is the age, you guys are from? 14. Canada. 14?

6:05 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce 14 in Canada. Yeah.

6:07 Adam And it's all of Canada? Yeah. Back in Montreal, don't embarrass us.

6:11 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I think Montreal's like eight or nine, but the rest of Canada... 14. Yeah, 14. Maybe, so think if you're trying to bump it into 13.

6:19 Dr. Bruce Newfoundland.

6:20 Dr. Bruce New feet must be different.

6:22 Adam See, I've been trying to do this for a while, which is unify the states here on the age of consent. I don't see why it's got to be 18 in California and 14 in Hawaii. It seems crazy to have it all over the place. And how could you blame a guy who grew up in a state where it was 14 or 15, lived there until he was 42, and then moved? His work transferred him. And next thing you know, he's banging a 17 year old and he's in the pokey.

6:47 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce His work moved, his work changed, his ethics don't change.

6:52 Adam That's right.

6:52 That's right.

6:53 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce If you're gonna, you know, I 100%.

6:54 Adam You pack up your desk, not your genitalia.

6:57 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce It's a great point.

6:58 It's a great point.

6:59 Adam Now, and what would be, we can't agree on a number? Like, let's just make it 17.

7:04 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I know, I think 18's a, you know, but that might be a little stiff.

7:07 Dr. Bruce That's a little much.

7:08 Adam 18, yeah, why? No, yeah, we shouldn't be punished. I'd say, I'd say.

7:13 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce That's 16.

7:14 Adam We picked, yeah, I'd say, you know. If you can drive. We take the highest number, which is 18, we pick the lowest, which is like 14, and we do a compromise. 11. That's what I would say.

7:25 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You're being too conservative for me, pal, but.

7:27 Adam All right, so Canada, 14. One more reason to move to Canada.

7:31 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, it's another, it's a great country, you know. Lots of room. Yeah, plenty of room.

7:36 Adam Does all of Sum 41 live in Canada when not on the road, when not touring?

7:40 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Eric lives here now because he's the lead singer. Sure. You know, he can afford the nice place in the hills. You know, I'm still living in my parents' basement, so.

7:48 Sure.

7:49 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You know, that's, yeah. Frost.

7:52 Adam Permafrost setting. There's steam coming out of its mouth as he gets up off his prison cot.

7:58 Yeah.

8:00 Dr. Bruce Yeah, we're doing a lot for the love of them. Canada's overall rating of Americans hasn't gone down to about 20% in the last.

8:10 Adam They all hate us.

8:11 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Not only Canada, though, guys, not only Canada.

8:14 Adam The rest of the world hates us, but it's just like they hate the big man on Canada.

8:17 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce We love them. We love them. That's why we come here all the time.

8:20 Adam Let me say too, let me tell you something about Canada too. First, they hate Americans, but then they're complaining as Bush hasn't visited us in a while.

8:26 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Well, you know, it's impolite, you know, and we're all about the polite, you know, and so he should have come, you know, and we were more than happy to welcome him. And we were curious that he didn't actually go to the capital. The capital, yeah. He went to Halifax East. Well, there's no population, nobody there to go meet him or, you know, protest.

8:44 Dr. Bruce Six blocks away.

8:46 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce No, an entire province away.

8:48 Yeah. The people in the east of Canada are the nicest people too.

8:51 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, they're the nicest people.

8:52 Dr. Bruce They say hi.

8:53 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce They're not even home.

8:54 Adam They're nice in the east, aren't they?

8:55 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, but nice people. Yeah.

8:58 So, you know, it's...

8:59 Adam Well, listen, I think I like Canada. I may end up there one day. I think it's being my new home.

9:05 Come on up.

9:05 Adam Are the taxes real high there? It's high taxes, right? Absolutely.

9:08 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, we have high taxes. But, you know, what happens, though, is it goes to, you know, like... If there actually was a high crime rate...

9:14 Adam What is the tax? Is it higher than 50%? Or is it like 50%?

9:19 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce It's about 50.

9:20 About 50%.

9:20 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Depending what tax bracket you're in, some of you are paying quite well.

9:23 Adam Oh, I'm literally a millionaire.

9:25 But, you know, you go by...

9:27 Adam I mean, literally. People talk about being millionaires. I'm literally a millionaire. Literally.

9:32 Yeah.

9:33 Adam Yeah, so I go to Canada, I get screwed, right?

9:37 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, but depending on what the dollar is, because, you know, if you're a millionaire, you go with the exchange, you be literally a multimillionaire.

9:45 Adam Really?

9:45 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

9:46 Adam Wow. Wow.

9:48 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce That's a true fact. You'd be literally a bored millionaire. How about that?

9:52 Adam Is it that boring up there?

9:53 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Occasionally. Well, it depends where you are.

9:55 Toronto, Montreal, Vancouver, great.

9:57 Adam Yeah.

9:57 Saskatchewan.

9:58 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce The strip clubs in Montreal.

10:00 Adam Oh, second to none.

10:02 Yeah.

10:02 Adam I was up there for the comedy festival. And it's wonderful to have a lap dance for like $17.18 or something like that.

10:11 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce No, no, no, no. Ten bucks or something.

10:14 Adam Yeah, it's ten bucks.

10:15 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Ten bucks Canadian. That's like eight. That's like four bucks.

10:18 We were just on tour. We went to a strip club, lap dances for a buck.

10:22 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, a buck. And the guy was getting a smoker next to me.

10:25 A buck.

10:26 Adam A buck.

10:27 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce A buck fifty for a smoker.

10:29 Adam Where was this?

10:30 Dr. Bruce I spent about a hundred and fifty that night.

10:32 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, it was in Houston. It was called Treasures. We were just walking by. Oh, fuck. I couldn't believe it. And the girls were beautiful.

10:39 Adam But this wasn't during happy hour or anything.

10:43 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce No, it was like, you know, it was like, you know, 11 p.m. on a Tuesday.

10:49 Adam Really? Got to get out to Houston.

10:51 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You got to go to the Texas.

10:53 Adam It's like in Houston, Bruce. They're high.

10:55 Dr. Bruce They're high.

10:56 Adam Well, but think all the money you'd save. But a buck a lap dance times thousands a year. I mean, that adds up. All right. Sum 41 here. We're going to hear something off the new CD called Chuck, which is a great name for a CD. Why Chuck, though?

11:13 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Well, we went to do this documentary in Africa and things got a little hairy while we were there and we got shot at.

11:21 Really?

11:21 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce We had to be evacuated and the guy that evacuated his name was Chuck.

11:24 Adam Oh, really? So it's a tip of the hat to a man to save your life?

11:28 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce He's a Canadian guy.

11:29 He's a UM volunteer.

11:30 Adam What was going on in Africa?

11:32 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Civil War.

11:33 Adam No, I mean, what was going on? What was Sum 41 doing in Africa?

11:36 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce There's a charity organization, a Canadian charity organization called War Child Canada. We went with them. Just trying to give back. We've done so much for ourselves.

11:45 Adam Yeah.

11:46 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce And it's time we did that. Now we're getting back to doing more for ourselves.

11:50 Adam You know what we need to do? We need to get into that Africa and straighten it out. You know my plan. I have a plan for sort of world alignment, which is A, number one.

11:59 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Are you a Republican? Because I think we get the same plan.

12:01 Adam I'm going to take, well, I may be even more a Republican. I would like first piece of business. Take all the Jews out of Israel, move them to Baja, California. Let them get that country back on their feet. That country needs to sober up, needs a nice couple of Jews over there, get things working over there, get things moving. So here's what we do. We don't have to pour all the money into Israel with all the defense. We'll just let all those folks kill each other off over there because they'll turn on each other as soon as they're done, as soon as Israel moves out of there. Get the Jews out of there, put them into Baja, they straighten Mexico out. Then we don't have all the flight out of Mexico coming over here screwing with the economy. Because the Jews get the economy back on their feet over there. Then we send the Canadians to Africa, get that continent back on its feet because it's all over the place and we spread out into Canada.

12:53 Dr. Bruce That's a great idea.

12:54 Adam That's a great idea.

12:55 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce There's more than enough room up in those Northwest Territories, you know?

12:59 Adam Yeah, plenty of room up that way.

13:01 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce There's plenty of room to hide when they come drafting you guys. So, you know, yeah.

13:05 Adam Oh, yeah, we got it. I was just I was I was just talking to Jimmy about this last week. Oh, by the way, Sum 41 going to be on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Yeah, on Wednesday night. We're just talking about how they got the gay marriage is going up there. They Canada cheap prescription drugs.

13:22 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce And if you get shot, which is so unlikely, I know they'll pay for you. They'll pay to get you back together. Yeah. You don't have to pay for anything.

13:31 Adam You can flee. You can avoid the draft there. It's it's it's real. It's I was saying to Jimmy, I'm saying Canada is like your buddy's sofa, who you can crash on, you know, like the first buddy, like when you're 19, the first guy to get an apartment and you're like, listen, I want to do a bar load. I want to nail my girlfriend. And I'm kind of hot water's my stepmoms. I need to crash. Canada is our country. Our buddy, our stoner buddy sofa that we can go crash on if a war breaks out or we need some drugs or have some trouble with the law.

14:01 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce By the way, with the drugs, it's, with the pot, you know, it's legal now.

14:05 Adam Maybe we can just go over, we just go up to Canada to get our head together for a few months, you know, wait, wait till things, wait till the heat dies down a little here and then we just slide back into our country.

14:16 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I actually have a real friend who's sleeping, he's probably on my couch right now, who's an American who came up there for the exact same reason.

14:23 Adam I really, I think the sign for Canada should be Canada crash on our sofa. You know what I mean?

14:31 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

14:31 Dr. Bruce Yeah. All right.

14:33 Adam What to the Dr. Drew school of radio, a lot of head nodding, a lot of head shaking, a lot of pointing and stuff. All right. Should we rock? You ready to go?

14:41 Dr. Bruce I'm ready.

14:42 Adam Yeah. Let's get it on. Let's break it down. Got to get it on. Freak out. Here we go. Now, line five. Speak to Jean, who's 22. Jean?

14:55 Caller Yes.

14:56 Adam What's up, baby doll?

14:59 Caller I had a problem a couple of months ago, actually. Whenever my boyfriend have sex, I like orgasm the whole time, and it's like drenching the bed orgasm.

15:11 Adam Drenches the bed?

15:13 Caller Yeah.

15:14 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce That's awesome. That way he knows that he's a lucky girl.

15:19 Adam Yeah.

15:19 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Why don't you explain to him that you just haven't pooped the bed.

15:23 Adam It's good. The novelty wears off eventually. Though, you know, you can only flip the mattress.

15:29 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce But right away, the whole time, like the guy doesn't even have to work.

15:33 Adam You have it right away?

15:34 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce And you're 22.

15:35 Caller Yeah. Yeah. This is like the first guy I've been like that with.

15:39 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Is he big?

15:41 Caller I've been with bigger, but not like the same.

15:45 Adam Well, make sure he understands that very clearly.

15:47 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You just explained to him.

15:48 Adam You have to underscore that. You know, guys need to know that they're not the biggest, that you've been with much bigger. Yeah. And so make sure you check that off the list with him in terms of reasons you're having an orgasm.

15:59 Dr. Bruce Why do you think this is a problem?

16:01 Adam Are you complaining about this? Yeah. What's the deal? It's embarrassing.

16:06 Caller It's very embarrassing.

16:08 Dr. Bruce It shouldn't be embarrassing. You should understand and explain to him that some people, some women, when they have an orgasm, there is a lot of fluid discharge like that.

16:15 Adam Does he need, does he want an explanation or is he okay with it?

16:20 Caller No, he enjoys it.

16:23 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Rubber sheets. There you go.

16:25 Adam Yeah, you just put a trash bag down. That's what I do. I just put a hole in the trash bag.

16:32 Dr. Bruce There's a basic misunderstanding about that. I've seen patients come in for consultations to concern they have excess glandular activity or other problems. It's not a problem. It's just a normal.

16:42 Adam They do have excess glandular activity.

16:44 Dr. Bruce Okay. They want the glands removed. It is a really glandular problem.

16:48 Adam I mean, it's one of these things. Drew always says like, big deal. So your guy has a physical manifestation of his work. It's nice as a guy. We have no mementos. We don't know if we've actually produced an orgasm or not. For a guy, it's like taking a fish and having it mounted. You don't have to tell everyone about the story, about the one that got away. It's actually hanging over the fireplace.

17:15 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You could do that with the sheets.

17:16 Adam You could actually mount the sheets. Yes, that's what I'm suggesting.

17:19 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Just put it right on the wall there.

17:20 Adam So with the fireplace, big ball of crusty stuff.

17:23 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Invite the family over and just sort of still watch the TV, watch the sheets.

17:27 Adam Her and her father's admiring it during the holidays.

17:32 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Gives it a little rub.

17:34 Adam Yeah.

17:35 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce It's authentic. That's not eggnog.

17:37 Adam Eventually, eventually it must get old. You know what I mean? Year three into the relationship, when you have to.

17:45 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Well, does it wear off, though?

17:46 Dr. Bruce No. Well.

17:47 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce It'll happen always.

17:48 Dr. Bruce It will if there's enough stimulation in the right place.

17:50 Adam Yeah. So what about, can somebody take salt tablets or throw some kitty litter down there or something? That's what I'll do. I look at it like a transmission that's leaking in the driveway. Just go ahead and throw that litter down there.

18:02 Dr. Bruce Maybe put plastic sheet under the.

18:03 Adam Plastic sheet. Under the manager's sheet.

18:05 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I think a black garbage bag is just classy. It looks like silk. So I mean, at the same time, you know, you're still giving me the illusion of like a kind of like a.

18:13 Dr. Bruce Maybe we should ask the caller if we've adequately answered the question. Yeah, you've had some good advice.

18:17 Adam Well, I'm saying you put some foil on the windows, put the garbage bag down, you play a little loo rolls, people know you're a classy operator. Jean?

18:28 Caller She's gone. Well, when I first got with him, I was like joking around like, I'm mostly orgasmic. And he was like, oh, that's cool. I was like, we'll see how many you can get out of here. And it was like, the first time I was like, oh, my goodness. That's never happened before.

18:43 Dr. Bruce All right.

18:43 Adam Well, that's good.

18:45 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Maybe this is just God's way of saying that you're soulmates. Yeah.

18:48 Dr. Bruce Has he commented on this? Have you talked to him about it?

18:50 Caller Yeah.

18:51 Adam Yeah, he has. She has.

18:53 Caller He likes.

18:54 Caller He makes comments afterwards. He's like, oh, I like Michigan, I'm going to like Gary. And he's going to be specific. All right.

19:02 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Hold on.

19:02 Caller Hold on.

19:03 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce What was it? It's to make jokes.

19:06 Dr. Bruce Comparing it to bodies of water. Normal male sensitivity. That's great.

19:10 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You know what I mean? The one I want to talk to when I'm banging my girlfriend about geography.

19:16 Dr. Bruce That's after he's done. He's talking about it.

19:18 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce He waits.

19:21 Adam Are you sure it's not urine?

19:23 No, it's not urine.

19:25 Adam All right. Look, there's nothing you can do. It could be urine.

19:31 Dr. Bruce They usually call and ask us that and we tell them it's not.

19:33 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce It's all the same hole, right, Dr. Bruce?

19:35 Dr. Bruce No.

19:35 Adam Let's see.

19:37 Dr. Bruce What's going on with these Canadian guys?

19:40 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce It's cold up there. Usually, you're having sex, you're wearing a one-piece snowsuit.

19:45 Adam Yeah.

19:46 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce So it's...

19:49 Adam Yeah. Come on.

19:50 Dr. Bruce Just bring up Newfoundland with these guys.

19:52 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

19:53 Dr. Bruce Why do you guys do not like Newfoundland? They discriminate against...

19:56 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce My girlfriend's a Newfie.

19:57 Dr. Bruce A Newfie?

19:58 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

19:58 Adam Wow.

19:59 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You know what? There's something different about this guy. You don't want to make fun of the Newfies.

20:05 Adam What's up with them?

20:07 Dr. Bruce It's sort of the Ozark of Canada, isn't it like that?

20:09 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah. They're just the butt of all... They're like a strange province. It's like a half an hour ahead.

20:15 Adam What's that in America? What's Newfoundland? You're our Pollocks, I think. They're our Pollocks. They would be your... We have Polish. Arkansas. We make Pollock jokes.

20:24 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, okay, right. Yeah, okay. So it'll be something like that.

20:26 Adam They're a little further away. I mean, here, I think you got to go middle of the country. I think we have like Mississippi. We got a little Louisiana.

20:34 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce But the thing is is that they're all extremely nice and it's fun to go there.

20:39 Dr. Bruce It is, yeah.

20:39 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, it's a great time.

20:40 Dr. Bruce When you go there, they make you kiss a cod.

20:42 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, yeah, they make you with a fish. And then you have to drink this like weird. It's called screech. Yeah, rum that they've imported through pirates.

20:49 And you got a French kiss of fish.

20:51 Adam Really?

20:51 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Or if you're not doing that, you have to kiss a puffin's ass.

20:54 Adam Puffin.

20:55 This is true.

20:57 Dr. Bruce You're rousing Adam's interest.

20:58 Adam What's a puffin look like?

21:01 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Dr. Ebberson. Puffin.

21:03 Dr. Bruce It's animal medicine. I'm not able to comment on it.

21:06 Adam No.

21:06 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce OK.

21:07 Adam All right.

21:07 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce We will. Puffins in my day.

21:09 Adam We will. Now, is the New Finland dog the same or is that it? It's not spelled the same, is it?

21:15 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce What?

21:16 Adam The big black furry dog.

21:18 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce The New Finland dog, yeah.

21:19 Adam Is it spelled the same way?

21:21 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I believe so. New Finland, yes.

21:22 Adam New Finland.

21:23 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Which is odd that they'd have such a big dog because it's such a small island. If you think like a goldfish, you know, the bigger the bowl, the bigger the fish. But you've got the small dog.

21:31 Adam How does the world's smallest place have the world's biggest dog?

21:34 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce No idea.

21:35 Adam Yeah.

21:35 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce It's Dr. Bruce.

21:39 Dr. Bruce I'm glad I'm here and able to answer all these questions.

21:42 Adam All right. Let's let's keep rolling along. Or maybe we should hear some 41 songs.

21:46 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Sure.

21:47 Adam Sure. You guys go with that.

21:48 Dr. Bruce I'm into it.

21:49 Adam How are you doing there, engineers? Michelle, you feeling good?

21:52 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Oh, yeah.

21:52 Dr. Bruce Feeling confident?

21:53 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Oh, yeah. All right. This one, if it's a slow one, we can play it for Gene and let loose the juice.

22:04 Adam Yeah, that's Mean Gene, the spraying machine. Yeah, we will hear a little something off of Chuck, the new CD from Sum 41, and this one is called Pieces.

25:10 Caller Hold on.

25:11 Adam Hey, everybody. Loveline. We're back. Bruce, look at you. Bro, you are. You still like Casey Kasem. Yeah. Yeah.

25:22 Dr. Bruce I'll take over that show.

25:23 Adam Yeah. If he never, ever got in a radio, that's what you would be like.

25:27 Caller Just be nice.

25:28 Adam All right. Dr. Bruce filling in for Dr. Drew, believe it or not, just as qualified, maybe more so. Drew tells me all the time how smart you are, and I'm like, no way. And he's like, he is. And I'm like, are you high, dude? And he's like, I'm telling you. So, you know, no better endorsement than Dr. Drew. Dr. Bruce in tonight for Dr. Drew. Any laser related questions? Dr. Bruce is a wizard on the laser. Yeah.

25:56 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Tattoo removal. How's that going? How's that working out?

26:00 Dr. Bruce Very well.

26:00 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce So you can get them. How does it matter? How big does it leave scars?

26:04 Dr. Bruce No, if it's done properly.

26:06 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You can get a whole tattoo removed.

26:09 Dr. Bruce It looks like nothing was there. It should. Now, the more pigments you have, sometimes it tends to be a little lighter.

26:14 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Because I got this Tasmanian devil playing hockey on my ass. You know, every Canadian's got one.

26:21 Dr. Bruce Or is that a blackout, drunken blackout? I did it too.

26:26 Adam That was a prison stamp.

26:27 Dr. Bruce With guitar, you know, more guitar strings you use for putting on tattoos and for guitars. I guarantee it. But yeah, you do it once a month, treatment, about 12, 8 to 12. How painful is it? Yeah, it's very painful. It's about three times as painful as getting a tattoo, which is...

26:42 Adam The old, in the old days, they do tattoo removal by just cutting it out. And then the person would have a huge keloid scar there. It was like, well, the, the, the, let's boogie guy, you know, the, the zigzag man is gone from your shoulder. But someone, looks like someone took silly putty and just mashed it. It's, it's now disgusting.

27:01 Dr. Bruce Right. Or scrape it with salt or there are all kinds of barbaric treatments. Right.

27:06 Adam This is, this theoretically can be done with nothing left and no, no trauma to the skin.

27:11 Dr. Bruce And the treatment can be done without even drawing blood. So you have a little bit of swelling. It is painful, however.

27:15 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Okay. Now, so, you know, you just get really high before something.

27:20 Dr. Bruce I don't encourage it, but I must admit, I better let's we got to take a little break.

27:24 Adam Sum 41 in studio tonight. We will let Dr. Bruce film in for Dr. Drew. And so far, I'm giving you a four and a half out of out of a hundred. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

27:43 Adam This is Loveline. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Bruce film in for Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-191. Dr. Bruce, board certified addiction medicine. Does the laser stuff. Does emergency medicine work in the ER for quite some time?

28:10 Dr. Bruce Went to Red Hat, anal sex. I passed out a couple of times.

28:12 Adam Has had copious amounts of anal. He does something he doesn't shy away from. He's up front about it. He tells all his patients.

28:19 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Have you ever heard of it?

28:20 Adam Oh, hold on. Yes, we must turn the band's mic on. He has Sum 41, by the way, here tonight.

28:25 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I see how it works. I make a couple of jokes. And Adam turns off the mic. Yeah, I turn it off. Now, this is just something I heard about the other day. And I want you to say you worked at prisons. Have you ever heard of the pink sock? And does that happen? Do you know what the pink sock is?

28:41 Dr. Bruce I don't know. I just did some tattoo removal at the prison.

28:43 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Oh, so you didn't look at any pink socks?

28:45 Dr. Bruce No. What's the pink sock?

28:47 Adam When you get the anal first, we get it. You've had anal.

28:50 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce No, no, no. It's the trauma makes the colon come out. And it's pink, like a sock. Like somebody's got a sock in their butt.

28:58 Adam So it's a prolapsed rectum. Yeah. And it's...

29:03 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce But hilarious.

29:04 Adam Oh, no, no. Funny, funny stuff. It's not about a mouth.

29:08 Dr. Bruce But hilarious to get that though.

29:09 Adam Yeah. So it actually... Your innards come out of your rectum. That's always a strong...

29:15 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I don't know if that's the desired thing. I don't know if there's a fetish out there for that or something like that.

29:20 Adam Pink sock, not just for the incarcerated either.

29:23 Dr. Bruce No, I think it's a complication.

29:24 Adam That's something to do on the outside.

29:25 Dr. Bruce Bad behavior.

29:26 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

29:26 Dr. Bruce OK.

29:27 Adam Sure. Speaking of bad behavior.

29:29 Dr. Bruce I'll avoid this behavior in the future.

29:31 Adam Please. Sum 41 is going to be at Jimmy Kimmel Live, as I mentioned before, on Wednesday. That's this Wednesday, the 15th. And you can go out and see them perform because they're going to be out at the big Walkman stage out in the parking lot and that house rocks. Seen it with many bands. I think most recently Green Day was out there, but you fill it up, the band plays. And usually, and I don't know what you guys are planning on doing, but the band will play a song or two on the air, but then hang out and play a few more songs for the fans kind of thing.

30:05 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, that probably won't happen.

30:06 Adam No, probably just play half a song for the air.

30:09 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You know, most of it will be on dad anyway. I don't plan on being so.

30:12 Dr. Bruce Lip sync.

30:13 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce As long as the body's there, it's fine.

30:14 Adam So you want to go check out Sum 41. You can go down to Jimmy Kimmel Live on the 15th. That's it's pretty much Hollywood and Highland, right in the middle of everything. Walk of Fame and all that. Go around to the back and you just got to get there at seven o'clock. And there you got it. 68.

30:33 Dr. Bruce Barrett still on the show.

30:34 Adam Dickie Barrett will be there.

30:36 Dickie Barrett will be there.

30:38 Adam Dickie is awesome.

30:39 Dr. Bruce Dickie rules.

30:40 Adam I love Dickie.

30:41 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce He's got to be one of the top top ten people for me. He's just fun. The Boss Tones took us out on one of our very first tours.

30:50 Adam Really?

30:50 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

30:51 Adam Yeah. The whole band.

30:54 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Bruce, could you just stop yelling into the mic?

30:57 Adam We get it.

30:59 Dr. Bruce Anderson's over there causing trouble.

31:02 Adam Dickie Barrett, as well as the rest of the Boss Tones, are salt of the earth. Great guys.

31:09 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Fantastic.

31:10 Adam I mean, before, many years ago, I think at my first K-Rock Weenie Roast, before I was literally a millionaire, I was just some schlub helping out on the morning show. I was walking around. I came across the Boss Tones bus. They all invited me in. We drank some broskies. They didn't know me from Adam, par in the pun. And they were just as generous and just as free flowing with the booze as they would have been for anybody. God bless them. And then Dicky and I became fast friends and we're still friends to this day.

31:42 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce He won't return my calls, but I mean, I really like him.

31:46 Adam Great guy. I love it.

31:49 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce All right.

31:50 Adam We ready to keep going here?

31:51 Dr. Bruce Absolutely. Good call there. All right.

31:52 Adam Talk to April, who's 18. What's up, April?

31:57 Not too much. I just want to know if there's something seriously wrong with me.

32:01 Adam Well, what's up?

32:06 I know I must have a problem with sex because me and my boyfriend will have sex like two times in a day and I have to masturbate constantly.

32:15 Is that normal?

32:18 Adam 18, people have different sort of sexual metronomes.

32:22 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Constantly during sex or constantly in between?

32:25 Constantly in between.

32:28 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce God bless you.

32:28 Adam Not during the sex. During the sex thing is kind of a double-edged sword. It's one of those things where it's like getting a piece of workout equipment for Christmas. First impulse, oh great, thanks. Second is what, you think I'm fat? The first one is like, oh, you're diddling yourself, you're hot. And the second is what, I'm not doing it?

32:45 Dr. Bruce Well, sexual addictions are real disorders. Although, you're prone to tell a lot of jokes about it.

32:51 Adam Funny.

32:51 Dr. Bruce Some people have a hard time.

32:53 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Addictions are funny.

32:54 Dr. Bruce Just admitting what you're talking about. So it's good that once you're aware, though, that there's an unusual obsession with a certain thought, there are various problems that can cause that. But having a compulsive sexual disorder is-

33:06 Adam Plus, here's the thing, too. It's a bottom line. I hate to say, but if you're hot, it's no big deal.

33:10 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Here's what I want to know.

33:11 Oh, I'm definitely hot.

33:12 Adam Oh, if you're hot, then it's cool.

33:14 Yeah.

33:14 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce And it's the confidence that makes you hot baby.

33:15 Adam If you were like 300 pounds, it'd be a tragedy. Yeah, we'd have to do something about it.

33:19 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce But if you're hot, you know, see, because when you masturbate a lot and you're a guy, sometimes you cut your, you know, you can I say dick, dick. Yeah. And so, you know, all right. So you cut, you know, like you just wear it down. And so you get a cut on your dick. And then do you get do you get cuts?

33:38 No, my boyfriend, my boyfriend.

33:40 Adam I know for a fact.

33:41 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce And then you get a callus. I mean, I remember when I was like between 12 and 15 out of callus on my dick.

33:45 Dr. Bruce Well, Adam's an expert in this area. So I'll defer to him.

33:47 Adam First of all, I know, I know in Canada, they use seal fat to masturbate with. At least that's what I've read in all the text books. Now we have jerseys, we have puns. You use blubber. Yeah, I mean, it could be, could be whales. It could be seals, whatever it is. It's the point.

34:06 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce It's probably the most, if it's endangered, it gets me off more.

34:12 Adam I use a spotted owl snuff as a personal lubrication. Yeah, I'm that rich. Literally a millionaire. He's endangered species mucus in order to masturbate.

34:24 Dr. Bruce April of you. April, April.

34:28 Adam Oh, who you want to talk to April?

34:30 Dr. Bruce April.

34:30 Adam Okay, where is it? You want to keep yelling her name or you want me to push a goddamn button, you retard? All right, go ahead now. Bruce, Bruce, how many times have you done this show? 120 times? Yeah, probably. Don't know the part where the screen lights up when they're on and. I can't see. It's blocked. Why can't you see anything? You're two feet away from the screen.

34:53 Dr. Bruce All right, I'll move over this way. You're eight feet away.

34:55 Adam Let me turn it. Let me turn it. All right, can you see?

34:58 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

34:59 Adam I don't understand. Why can't you see? You're two feet from it.

35:01 Dr. Bruce Okay.

35:02 Adam All right. All right. Anyway, yeah. Excessive masturbation. Bruce, you're out. Your time is up on this call. April. Yes. You're hot. You masturbate and you're getting laid a lot. Fine. Here's the only thing. Quiet down. If you.

35:17 Caller It's not funny.

35:19 Adam We'll. Oh no, no. We're laughing.

35:20 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Colin just pulled his penis over his wrist and told me what time it was. We're laughing. It's something completely different.

35:26 Adam Here's the problem. We ever abused sexually?

35:29 Caller Yeah. There you go. Yes.

35:32 Adam What?

35:33 Caller Yes, I was.

35:33 Adam You were?

35:34 Caller Yes.

35:35 Adam You sure?

35:36 Caller Yeah, I'm pretty damn sure.

35:37 Adam Okay. Well, now you got to go to like SA or something like that.

35:42 Caller I know, but the whole thing is I'm bi too, so I'd probably try to end up turning out those girls.

35:48 Dr. Bruce All right.

35:48 Adam Now it's bogus. Bogus call.

35:49 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

35:50 Adam Yeah, it's bogus. April, bogus.

35:52 Dr. Bruce Time for Germany, Florida.

35:53 Adam Bogus call. How dare you try to slip one in. It's easy to do tonight, by the way, because our bogus force field is not at maximum power. I got Dr. Bruce over here. No, let's face it, you're a thorn in my bogus side. You weaken the bogus, the defense systems that we normally have up.

36:13 Dr. Bruce I've gotten more Germany, Florida questions, right?

36:15 Adam Oh, really?

36:15 Dr. Bruce When I've been here, I have a higher average.

36:17 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Oh, you want to play Germany or Florida?

36:18 Adam Well, I'll tell you what it is. It's our New Finland is basically what it is. I started realizing when I was sitting at the table over at Jimmy Kimmel Live, by the way, Sum 41, Jimmy Kimmel Live, this Wednesday, go out and rock with them in the parking lot as they play an extended set. I started noticing that all bizarre and macabre stories came out of either Germany or Florida. That's where all the weird ass goes down. So we turn into a game. People call up, they tell us the bizarre story, and then we guess. Is it Germany or Florida? Anderson, you have the theme song? The game is worth it for the theme song alone.

36:56 Caller Things are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis.

37:00 Sex, meth, and death fetishes, both of them have got these.

37:03 Caller Guaranteed not to bore ya, Germany or Florida.

37:06 Adam You guys may want to cover that. Megan?

37:09 Yeah?

37:10 Adam You're 16? Oh no, you're 14. Yes, go ahead. Germany or Florida?

37:15 Caller Okay. A man lived in an apartment with his dead father for at least a year to avoid eviction. The father was skeletal, just skin and bones completely dried up. Firemen found the decomposed body sitting on the couch after neighbors reported a smell of burning. The unemployed son had not notified the authorities of the death because he feared he would be kicked out of the apartment which he was rented under his father's name.

37:40 Adam All right. Now, how long does it say? How long for body to decompose? Well, and it's, I guess, what's the question? Whether it's Germany or Florida. We have to guess. Is it Germany or Florida?

37:50 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce So this is the story. That's Florida.

37:53 Adam Feels like Florida.

37:54 Dr. Bruce Unemployed son.

37:54 Adam Unemployed son feels.

37:55 Dr. Bruce There's no unemployed people in Germany.

37:56 Adam Yeah. Unemployed son feels very bad.

37:58 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce No, they send them off to Canada. It starts with a C.

38:06 Adam Sitting with the son, though, sitting with the corpse feels sort of German in its own macabre way. You know?

38:12 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

38:13 Adam Florida body can start smelling pretty good too.

38:15 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Maybe somebody who immigrated to Florida from Germany.

38:19 Adam Yeah.

38:20 Dr. Bruce I'm going with Florida.

38:21 Adam Yeah.

38:21 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You know, it sounds very Florida to me.

38:24 Adam Okay.

38:24 Dr. Bruce It could be a trick question.

38:25 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce But a German living in Florida.

38:27 Adam Steve O'Connor going Florida. Bruce, what do you think?

38:30 Dr. Bruce Florida.

38:31 Adam You're going Florida? I'm going to go Germany just to make the game interesting.

38:35 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce So you're like on prices, right? You're betting a dollar right now.

38:37 Adam Yeah, I'm just contrary.

38:39 Dr. Bruce And there's no reason for it.

38:40 Adam Because it's great radio. It's great radio to go.

38:43 Dr. Bruce Adam guesses a lot of Germany.

38:45 Adam All right. I go Germany. The room goes Florida. Megan, what is it?

38:49 Caller It's Germany.

38:50 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Oh, did it say on the screen?

38:52 Adam Yeah. That says it says it's German. No, no. Yeah.

38:57 Dr. Bruce I mean, nothing worse.

38:58 Adam First off, you ever wonder why they call him Ace? It's partly because I made him call me Ace, but it's also because of things like that.

39:06 Dr. Bruce First name begins with an A.

39:07 Adam And some sort of alliteration. Yeah. But it's at least 25 percent. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? All right. That's what happens. Thanks, Megan.

39:19 You're welcome.

39:20 Adam We're going to send you out nothing. As a matter of fact, we're not even sending nothing out. We're just going to keep our nothing. All right?

39:26 All right.

39:27 Adam Thanks for playing. That's how you play Germany or Florida. Later on, we're going to play Ace's Ranchero Accordion Countdown.

39:34 Dr. Bruce Oh, I can't wait.

39:35 Adam That is an exciting game. You guys into Ranchero music?

39:38 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce It's huge in Canada.

39:39 Adam Oh, yeah. I'm sure it is. Give us a little sample. Do you have any kind of sample of that, Michelle? We're not playing it yet, but I'll just give you a little sample. And again, some ideas for the next record, you know?

39:48 Yeah, yeah.

39:51 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You know, I like to think that this is what the guy was playing the entire time his dad was decomposing in the living room.

39:59 Adam It is some of the best music to decompose to. Oh, beautiful. Just one of the areas the Jews would clean up if I sent them out to Baja. Just one of the areas they could take care of. You know what I mean?

40:16 Dr. Bruce Is this one from one of your 70s foreign porno films?

40:20 Adam Yeah. So in Ace's Ranchero Mexican Accordion Countdown, we decide, we take a guess, how long before we hear the accordion music, we play a random Ranchero song, we go in the middle of a random Ranchero song, how long? I got to tell you, I got to be a tip, it averages about three and a half to four seconds.

40:39 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce But sometimes that's too long.

40:40 Adam You could go immediate or you could go for the marathon of like 12 seconds. It's a crazy game, it's sweeping the nation.

40:47 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Good radio.

40:47 Adam We're going to play it when we come back from the break. Sum 41 in studio tonight and we'll be right back after this. Dude, you got issues.

40:58 Caller Call Loveline.

40:59 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

41:11 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Bruce. Dr. Drew, not in tonight. He announced earlier in the day, he was too good for the show. Said he wasn't coming in. He's just at home. He just decided, he said he was too good. And then he said, good day. And I said, but Drew, and he said, I said, good day. And he stormed off.

41:36 Dr. Bruce Really?

41:36 Adam And that was it.

41:38 Painful erections will not go away.

41:40 Dr. Bruce Yeah. He describes you as a painful erection.

41:43 Adam Yeah.

41:44 Painful and comfortable erection well beyond.

41:47 Adam Yeah. Making that idiot rich. Are you kidding me?

41:50 Dr. Bruce He's actually involved in a research study. I believe. He's doing something.

41:54 Adam Whatever it is, he's getting paid.

41:55 Dr. Bruce Right.

41:55 Adam Whatever it is, he's getting paid. And getting paid for the night too. Yeah.

42:00 Dr. Bruce I hate to compare what he does in his spare time to what you do in your spare time.

42:04 Adam How dare you? And what do you do? You get paid when you come in here, right?

42:09 Dr. Bruce Not in the last year, but that's OK.

42:11 Adam Really? All right. Well, it's an advertisement. Give your website out.

42:14 Dr. Bruce dr.bruce.com.

42:16 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Sum 41.com.

42:19 Dr. Bruce What do you remove? It's a strip club guide. I'm sure there's a few links on there.

42:25 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce There's a link to ageofconsent.com.

42:28 Caller almostlegal.com.

42:31 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Just notquitelegal.com. I actually don't operate that site.

42:36 Adam Steve Owen is here tonight.

42:38 Dr. Bruce You're the Canadian.

42:38 Adam Sum 41.

42:39 Dr. Bruce And the strip clubs.

42:40 Adam Can you shut your mouth for a second? Sum 41. Yeah. You do exactly what Drew does too. Sum 41. Chuck, name of the CD. No, Drew will do that. We'll come back from the show and go, Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Sum 41. It's due tonight. Name of the new scene, Drew. Did you hear about it? I'll be like, you're not going to let me finish? That this part? All right. That's compulsory stuff, Bruce. What's going on, buddy? I know, Bruce. Let me tell you what's going on with Bruce. Bruce has two looks. He has the he has the dry, geeky look, and then he has the wet headed geeky look. And no, but when he puts gel in his hair, it's like Fonzie putting the jacket on. He feels good. You have better shows. You're more confident, man. And it's working.

43:26 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

43:26 Caller Is that what you got in there, gel?

43:27 Adam It's got gel.

43:28 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I think you look more of a moose man to me.

43:31 Dr. Bruce This is like Crisco. I don't know what this stuff is.

43:33 Adam Everything's moose to the connect. All right. Shall we rock? Now, we do want to hear a Steve Oh's stripper story, by the way. But we should take a call and we should probably hear it after the break. Yeah. And we got another song to play from Sum 41. It's a big night. It's too much show. It really is just too much. It's going to be shame to end it a half hour early, I run, but. All right. Let's speak to Chelsea, who's 17. Chelsea.

43:59 Caller Hi.

44:00 Adam What's up?

44:03 Caller Two months ago, my boyfriend and I had sex in the Condom Broke. And I've taken two pregnancy tests, and one of them came out positive, and the other one came out negative.

44:18 Adam Now, what about that, Bruce?

44:20 Dr. Bruce How long ago did the condom break?

44:22 Caller Two months.

44:23 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce So that's too long to stand on your head, right?

44:26 Adam Yeah.

44:26 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce That won't work anymore.

44:28 Dr. Bruce The pregnancy tests that are available in the stores are very accurate, and I'd go with the positive, see a physician and have a pregnancy test.

44:37 Adam Well, have you had your period in that two months?

44:41 Caller No.

44:42 Dr. Bruce And again, not having a period or thinking you've had one is not to be used.

44:48 Adam Why don't you, what about one more test? What about the rubber match for the rubber that broke?

44:53 Dr. Bruce No, because you've had a positive test, I would go in and have one done by the physician. All right.

44:57 Adam I'm guessing she doesn't have a physician. Do you have a physician?

45:01 Caller No, I have a family doctor, but I really don't want my family to know about it until-

45:05 Dr. Bruce We'll go to Planned Parenthood.

45:06 Adam Yeah. Which really should start being called Unplanned Parenthood, because there's nobody in there saying, nobody goes through the door like, hi, we're the Irvings, I'm 34, this is my wife Sheila, she's 33, we're thinking about starting a family, we thought we'd got, no, it's a 14-year-old that got raped, right? It's Unplanned Parenthood. It could easily just put the un in front of it.

45:28 Dr. Bruce It's irritating, I admit that.

45:29 Adam Just call it on, call it what it is, because I think it freaks out people that haven't had a plan, oh, we shouldn't go there, ours was unplanned. Unplanned Parenthood. Just call it what it is, that's all.

45:41 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, your life is over.

45:44 Adam Yeah, yeah, that's right, that's right. Yeah, stepdad's gonna kill you, Parenthood. Yeah, or just call it like oops or this is a disaster or you know.

45:58 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce More than just a stand on the sheets.

45:59 Adam Right, yeah, just start calling what it is, that's all, that's all. All right, so she needs to go into unplanned Parenthood.

46:06 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Does that cost money?

46:07 Adam No, no.

46:08 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I don't know how it works here.

46:09 Dr. Bruce No, there are free services even in our capitalistic.

46:13 Adam Wow. Yeah, you can go in there. By the way, I swear, my mom was like a Canadian slash communist growing up the whole time. Because my mom was like a welfare and food stamps and everything. And over here, the people that don't feel like working, they love Canada because they always cite Canada. They're like, in Canada, they have unlimited resources and health care. They have health care for all of their people. They have, they're all lazy. The stoners in America love Canada because they're like, here's this utopia where you don't have to seem to work and you have full benefits and everyone covered and you're treated with dignity. See, here we sort of, if you don't make money, you don't get to live the same life of the people that actually work and get educated and do that kind of stuff. But my mom must have dropped that Canadian thing like 400 times in Canada. Is that right? But she would, I keep telling her, mom, if you ever got off your ass and got a job, you would be taxed. You'd have to pay half.

47:15 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, it is right there.

47:16 Adam Yeah. Does everyone have health care, except for when they get really sick, then they have to come here to get the specialty treatment, right?

47:24 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

47:24 Adam Well, yeah.

47:26 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Everyone has. Everyone has health care. It's amazing.

47:29 Adam But it takes a long time. I heard now they're getting backlogged and everything.

47:33 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Well, we don't necessarily know what we're doing up there, but it's free. So that's kind of a good thing to trade off.

47:40 Adam Here's really, here's all you need to know about this country. The entire world beats it up. But when one of their leaders gets into some serious trouble and needs the job done right, they immediately fly them out to what country? America. That's all you need to know. God bless this country. Oh, I got a beer that makes my double chin go away. Oh, I got a ponytail. Oh, who wants a ride home? I got coke. That's my.

48:36 Dr. Bruce You got a part-time job at a strip club.

48:38 Adam I really, oh, boy, am I gonna fall back on that. It's gonna be a very good life when I get out of radio. All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

48:47 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce All right, guys, here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

48:52 Adam One call is all you need to make. Freak out and get it on. Yeah, that's radio. 827, 27, after 8 o'clock. Whoo, that's a good radio. I'd say it's 53 in Placentia, 53 in Monrovia, 53 in Orange, 53 in Encino, Charmin Oaks, Chuckin In, 53 in a Craze, 827, 27, 27 in a Craze. Whoo, rock out, get it on. Steve O'Connor, both here from Sum 41, but I'll tell you what, these guys rock. I was out at the show down at Amphitheater last night, barely 24 hours ago, I brought these kids on stage, but I did rock that house hard. Great to see you guys. Great to have you back. Tell us about Chuck, how what's different, what's departure as far as music goes? Where did the band get its name? What part of Canada are you from? That's great. I'm this close to dropping trap. Let's get back to the phones.

50:21 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce All right. Thanks.

50:22 Adam Sum 41, these guys are close, close dear to your friends. I'll tell you what. Melissa. Hold on a second. Seriously.

50:31 Dr. Bruce Why don't you introduce yourself a little bewildered at Ace Rockolla.

50:35 Adam Ace Rockolla.

50:36 Dr. Bruce Adam's alter ego. It's irritating. Very irritating.

50:40 Adam Yeah.

50:40 Dr. Bruce As you can testify to.

50:43 Adam Yeah.

50:43 Dr. Bruce Sorry, Adam.

50:44 Adam Okay. Quiet down. All right. Dr. Bruce filling in for Dr. Drew. He's doing.

50:50 Dr. Bruce Four and a half.

50:51 Adam You may not think he's doing a good job, but.

50:55 Dr. Bruce That's the band, Adam. I don't want your.

50:57 Adam Compared to his normal appearances, this is a strong one. You know what I'm saying? Yes, sir.

51:02 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

51:03 Adam He's doing a great job.

51:03 Dr. Bruce Got a couple of hours of reviews.

51:05 Adam Doing a great job. When we left off, we're speaking to Steve-O about a stripper story that he was conveying to us during the break. I told him to stop and save for the air. So, since I'm on a human interest, it's all there and is Steve-O who knows good radio, decided it could be a Germany or Florida.

51:26 Dr. Bruce Absolutely.

51:27 Adam So, let's go ahead and relate that story to us.

51:31 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I'll try and do it as quickly as possible. Cone and I were at one of our shows and across the parking lot, there was a strip club, so we went there. Of course, after showing up, one of the girls came up and started kissing me, like she was very excited that I was in the band or whatever.

51:46 Adam She just recognized you. She was just some 41.

51:49 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Absolutely.

51:50 Adam You ran off stage.

51:52 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Anyway, so she has to go back up and dance again. It's her set time again, and as she dances, comes back off, bumps into another stripper, and they start fighting, fist fighting, and the waitress gets caught up in all of it, and the tray she was carrying, thrown on the ground, glass smashes, and the one girl picks up a shard of glass, and one stripper got punched in the face, her head went back in her wig, went sky high. Really?

52:17 Adam I like a cartoon.

52:18 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, it was hilarious, with sound effects and everything.

52:23 Adam Strippers are volatile. They're a volatile breed.

52:26 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce And then, you know, put the icing on the cake, if you will.

52:30 Adam Right.

52:31 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce The one stripper picked up a shard of glass, and stabbed my stripper in the neck, leaving a hole there.

52:37 Adam She wasn't just your stripper, she was all our strippers. I know what you're saying.

52:41 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I was the one stuffing dollar bills in her pants, man. She was my stripper.

52:45 Adam I understand. Derek has just entered the studio. Hey, Derek.

52:48 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce What's up, Dick? And so she's got this giant hole in the neck. And Dr. Bruce, is it bad of me to have wanted to...

52:55 Adam You should have tried to penetrate the hole itself.

52:57 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce That's what I'm going with this. Is that... Okay, so anyway...

53:00 Dr. Bruce Dushing blood.

53:01 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Dushing blood. We had to run and there you go. So now, this is the question.

53:06 Adam Was it Germany or Florida? Wow. Any beer steins involved? Wait a minute. Did Derek get a microphone, by the way?

53:13 Dr. Bruce He can just yell.

53:14 Adam Nice work last night, by the way, Derek.

53:19 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce This mic's wobbly towards me.

53:23 Adam Yeah, it's like a dividing rod. It goes toward the funny. Well, that's it.

53:29 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce It's going towards you.

53:30 Adam Derek's got to prove himself. Steve has been knocking out of the ballpark all night.

53:35 Dr. Bruce He won't let any of us out.

53:37 Adam Yeah. All right. What do you think, Bruce? Is it Germany or Florida?

53:41 Dr. Bruce That's Florida.

53:43 Adam Florida?

53:43 Dr. Bruce I think so. But these guys are all over the world. You don't know.

53:46 Adam Yeah, you don't know.

53:47 Dr. Bruce They're ex-script codes all over the world.

53:48 Adam Let's see if we'll... Let's ask one of our listeners what they think. Brian?

53:52 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

53:54 Adam Did that story happen in Germany or Florida?

53:57 Caller I'm going to say Germany.

53:59 Adam Germany. All right. Going against you. All right. We have a Germany. We have a Florida. Let's get the answer, Steve.

54:07 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce That would be Florida.

54:07 Adam Florida. Thank you. Yeah. Strippers, stabbing. It was all there.

54:13 Caller It seems very German. I didn't think someone would get stabbed in the neck in Florida. That doesn't.

54:18 Dr. Bruce Oh, yeah.

54:18 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, that never happens.

54:19 Adam There's rarely any violence in that part of the country.

54:22 Caller Trailer parking stuff in Florida.

54:25 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

54:26 Adam Yeah.

54:27 Dr. Bruce Exactly.

54:27 Caller All right.

54:28 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Maybe we should share that one.

54:29 Yeah.

54:30 Adam Hang on.

54:31 Caller Okay.

54:32 All right.

54:32 Adam You're cool there. So where was I? Derek just came in here. We're going to hear another song from Sum 41. Is there anything you want to get off your chest? Is there anything you've been dying to say?

54:43 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce No. You want to ask Bruce something, Dr. Bruce.

54:46 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Remember that thing that was growing down there?

54:48 Caller No, that's gone now.

54:50 Dr. Bruce Didn't it hurt, though?

54:51 Caller Yeah, that's it.

54:51 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce It's cool. Because mine broke open and just sucked it out.

54:54 Adam Well, we can do the more personal stuff during the break.

54:58 Dr. Bruce Right. All right.

54:59 Adam So let's keep on keeping on. Actually, there is a question for Bruce regarding stretch marks. Once we get a lot. Melissa?

55:07 Caller Hello.

55:08 Adam You have stretch marks?

55:10 Caller Yeah. I had two babies and they gave me stretch marks. And I was wondering if they can be removed with laser surgery or anything.

55:20 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Lasers can improve them in my experience and in general medical experience. They don't respond really well. So the best thing is to do is to exercise, lose weight, and then you can see somebody that does use lasers and.

55:34 Adam But none of the creams or anything work, do they?

55:37 Dr. Bruce They don't work that well.

55:38 Adam I don't mind stretch marks. Am I the only guy who doesn't mind it?

55:41 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I like anything like that. You know, missing tooth.

55:45 Adam Oh, yeah, yeah.

55:46 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Even when it's about to go and it's got that little black.

55:49 Adam It's loose.

55:49 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Dead tooth.

55:51 Adam Dead tooth can be a turn on, missing eye can be nice.

55:55 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Anything dead turns me on. Yeah.

55:58 Adam I like when like gangrene is set in and some of the digits have gone bad or maybe frost bite or something like that.

56:05 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Is it true that that Botox? What's in Botox?

56:09 Dr. Bruce It's botulism.

56:09 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Botulism. So, so what's up with the people shooting the botulism in the face? Is it? Is it?

56:17 Dr. Bruce To paralyze muscles?

56:18 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Is there a side effect? Is it like, you know, anything nasty?

56:21 Dr. Bruce Not, no, not if it's done correctly. Now, there was a case in Florida recently where some people had ventilated.

56:25 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Florida.

56:26 Dr. Bruce You know, if you didn't say it. Oh, I should have.

56:28 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce We could have played the game again.

56:29 Adam It seems like there would be more trouble with people just shooting poison into their forehead, right?

56:35 Dr. Bruce But it doesn't get into the circulation. It stays in the muscles.

56:39 Adam Right.

56:39 Dr. Bruce You're doing it in specific areas. So it and you're not getting the bacteria. It's just the toxin that's produced by the bacteria.

56:45 Adam What if you wanted to kill? What if you took that same injection and just put it into someone's artery? You just put it right in their blood system?

56:52 Dr. Bruce Yeah, there would be some problems, but there would really need fairly large doses and fairly specific.

56:59 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Okay, now if you had a lot of this Botox and you put so much in and it gave what it could give somebody the stretch marks that mean Adam.

57:08 Adam Yeah, we like stretch marks. No, you know what's a hot look is that bikini stretch mark, the one on the side of the ass cheek, it's just a little below the hip and just sort of on the side. It's a real 80s thing.

57:19 Dr. Bruce Fashion statement.

57:20 Adam Weird tan thing. And then when I see stretch marks around the boobs, it means they're large. You know what I mean? It's a weird thing. I react to it. It's like, oh, stretch mark. You don't see stretch marks on a A cup. You know what I'm saying? So it could mean the presence of something good. Yes?

57:36 Dr. Bruce Yes, you're right.

57:36 Adam Absolutely. It's like, the stretch marks on the boobs to me is like when the dog hears the can opener. It's not going to eat the can opener, but it knows something good is coming. You know what I mean?

57:49 Dr. Bruce It makes you salivate.

57:51 Adam Very Pavlovian that way. All right. Melissa?

57:55 Caller Yeah.

57:55 Adam There you go. There's really nothing you can do. Get a one piece.

57:59 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Get somebody who likes stretch marks.

58:01 Caller Can I tell you one thing though?

58:02 Adam Yeah.

58:03 Caller Okay. A couple of weeks ago, the condom broke and I got some emergency contraceptive and I wanted to thank you for putting it out there because I would have had a third if I hadn't had done that. So I wanted to thank you guys.

58:16 Dr. Bruce Drew's a big proponent of the emergency condom. Yeah.

58:19 Adam I don't know if they probably have that in Canada.

58:21 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Is that what that emergency stuff is? Because I eat that all day.

58:25 Adam Yeah.

58:26 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I'm thinking the wrong stuff.

58:27 Adam Well, you've never gotten pregnant, have you?

58:29 Dr. Bruce Nobody's got breast tissue there.

58:30 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, but I got the stretch marks on it.

58:34 Adam It is something that you can take if the condom breaks, you know, 72 hours or so after the condom breaks. No more than that. And it's not an abortion pill.

58:44 Dr. Bruce No.

58:44 Adam That's what everyone needs to know.

58:45 Dr. Bruce It's a good thing.

58:46 Adam All right. Oh, yeah. Brian? Yeah. I was going to answer your very sensitive question, but you were wrong on the Germany or Florida thing. And I feel you need to be penalized somehow. It says here you were ritualistically and repeatedly raped by bikers throughout your childhood, but I'm sorry, you did lose the Germany or Florida and rules. Rules, Brian. I'm sorry. We have to go. All right. Now go ahead. Let's see. You were adopted? Yeah.

59:14 Caller And I was wondering if like, what are common problems with adoption like kids and their relationships later in life, basically?

59:21 Adam Well, they do that thing where they want to go find their real biological mom, who's just usually white trash somewhere, and it's horribly disappointing. You think you're going to go find your biological parents, and it turns out your dad was a highly decorated fighter pilot, and your mom invented pasillin or something?

59:41 Caller My dad was the captain of the Navy ice hockey team, and he grew up in Toronto, Canada.

59:47 Adam Right on! Yeah.

59:49 So, you're right on that one.

59:51 Adam No, no, no, but that's good. That's a good lie your mom told you. That's awesome. Yeah, no, that's what you got to do. You got to make up something good. Their rally is he's a pin setter at a bowling alley, and he's strung out on meth. That's rally, but he's saying he's a captain, and you pick somewhere far away, and then you never check into it. But so the big problem is good. Don't go looking for your biological parents.

1:00:13 Caller I was just wondering more about relationships like I'm having now, that would I feel like problems like not being able to connect with people or something like that.

1:00:22 Adam When did you get adopted? How old were you?

1:00:24 Caller I was before I was one, like six weeks after I was born.

1:00:28 Adam Okay, that's good.

1:00:29 Dr. Bruce That is good because a lot of problems later on have to do with bonding early on. So the first two years of life were even more critical than was previously thought.

1:00:37 Adam That's right.

1:00:38 Dr. Bruce And the earlier the adoption occurs, the bonding is going to occur with the adoptive mother.

1:00:43 Adam I don't think there's any inherent problems that are built into being adopted at a very young age.

1:00:49 Adam If you're adopted to good parents, how are the new parents?

1:00:52 Caller They're awesome. Together they've been together my entire life.

1:00:56 Adam All right. That's fine. Get over it. You're fine. I'm 19. There's nothing wrong with you. You're not damaged good.

1:01:02 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You're just miserable like everybody else.

1:01:03 Adam It's all right. And you know what the other thing that's weird is the open adoption thing. We're like, we sort of lease your kid like, well, you're going to raise my kid, but I'm going to be able to come by every odd weekend and spend time with the kid and just confuse the hell out of the kid.

1:01:20 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce That's a very LA sounding kid. I don't know if we have that in Toronto. You adopt the kid, it's your kid.

1:01:26 Adam It's looked at as sort of progressive, like, wow, this is fantastic, but I really think you're going to eff the kid up. And by the way, as a mom or as a dad who wants to do the open adoption, as the person that's giving the kid up, it sends a weird message to the kid, which is like, I like you, but three days out of the month, not full time.

1:01:47 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce So they're just doing what every real parent is thinking.

1:01:50 Adam Yeah, really.

1:01:50 Dr. Bruce They're just going through it.

1:01:52 Caller Right.

1:01:53 Adam And listen, you can, you know, you can ignore your kid and still have him live under the same roof. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's what I always did. It's easy. Just lock yourself in the room and you'll freak out.

1:02:01 Dr. Bruce Look what happened.

1:02:02 Adam Yeah. Look at it. Literally a millionaire. But I mean, isn't it sort of like, I don't know, it was a kind of weird like, look, you take the kid, you wipe his ass, you pay for education, you feed him and then I'll come by on the weekends. We can have a good time. I'll take him out to Shakey's and we'll eat some pizza.

1:02:20 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce That sounds like a lot of what they call the deadbeat dad. Yeah, these are, this is, this is, sorry.

1:02:27 Adam Yeah, go ahead.

1:02:28 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce This is like a mom doing what a dad does.

1:02:31 Adam Right, it's convenient parenting, yes?

1:02:34 Dr. Bruce It's like a 60s thing, all this stuff.

1:02:36 Adam All right, bet I'm telling you, people do it out here and they get behind it. And the parents that want to adopt the kid have no choice because they just want the kid. Brian?

1:02:46 Hello?

1:02:47 Adam You're 22?

1:02:48 Caller Hi, how are you doing? Adam, you're a genius, but I'd let you know. Come on. Quick question, actually. Well, two questions, one for Bruce and then Adam later. Bruce, when my girlfriend and I have sex, we typically have it about, you know, midnight or one o'clock in the morning. And what happens is when we do have unprotected sex, she's, you know, she creates a lot of fluid and she gets very, she gets wet. So when we go to sleep, you know, I get up in the morning and get dressed for work. I wanted to know if, you know, the fluid that she created was actually, could become infectious to my penis if they got on it.

1:03:28 Dr. Bruce No.

1:03:30 Adam Just because you don't, you don't do that, that thing that gentlemen do in the sink when they're, during the pose down period after sex. Well, I mean, you don't wash your junk off in the sink.

1:03:39 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I like my junk dirty.

1:03:40 Caller That's true. I guess that's probably a good point. Maybe I should go ahead and do that. That's, that's easy and smooth to do.

1:03:46 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You go have a little bird bath, you know?

1:03:48 Caller Oh, okay. Let's do that. I like that.

1:03:49 Adam Do you do, there's that period after you have sex where you're standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom and you do the pose down and then once in a while you do the tough guy, who are you talking to? You're talking to me? You want some? I didn't think so. During that period, you wash your genitalia.

1:04:04 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Speaking of period, I mean, I'll do it if, you know, you get a little janky down there, if you know what I mean. But I mean on a regular day, no, keep it dirty.

1:04:14 Adam Go right to bed.

1:04:15 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Sometimes you leave it there for a couple of days.

1:04:16 Adam You know what it's like? It's like a good iron skillet. You're not supposed to clean it. You let the oils gather up on it. A dork is like a good iron skillet. Yeah, it's like a walk.

1:04:28 Dr. Bruce There's a growth factor in there.

1:04:29 Adam Yeah.

1:04:30 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:04:30 Adam Leave it alone.

1:04:31 Dr. Bruce But the vaginal environment, there is quite a bit of bacteria, but that's normal and necessary.

1:04:36 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Now, I heard that the same bacteria that can grow inside a vagina is the same bacteria that grows on dead fish. And that's why it's the same.

1:04:45 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Is that a Canadian myth or?

1:04:47 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I think that's a fact, but only in Canada.

1:04:50 Dr. Bruce Blame Newfoundland for that one. It's a fish store.

1:04:52 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah. It's another tale about the cold there, son.

1:04:57 Caller The other question is for Adam. You know how you always yarn about when you're at airports, you have such a bad time and they're like the pit of hell? I wanted to know since you are literally a millionaire, why you wouldn't go to the executive terminal with your own plane or why don't you have your own plane?

1:05:14 Adam Well, first off, and I've been looking in this, you have to be a multi-millionaire to have your own plane.

1:05:20 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, with inflation, I mean a millionaire, you practically broke right now.

1:05:24 Adam I do fly first class, however, I insist on it.

1:05:27 Caller You do?

1:05:27 Adam Oh, yes, and here's the thing. Here's the thing I don't like. First off, you try to go to that pilot's, that eagle's nest, the lounge, or wherever the first class lounge is. Now, here's the thing, you get screwed living in LA. You fly in LA to New York, which I constantly do. I always go try to use the thing and it's like, I'm sorry, that's only for international flights. Well, if I was in New York and I was flying to Europe, I could use it. It's the same distance, is it not? You know what I'm saying? It's 3000 miles from New York to London, let's say, and it's 3000 miles from LA to New York. How come out of LA. I don't get to use one?

1:06:02 Dr. Bruce First class is first class.

1:06:04 Adam Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And by the way, you could go on eBay and get a ticket for $289 minus $4200. That doesn't get me a watered down screwdriver and a couple of triscuits.

1:06:16 Dr. Bruce You brought this to their attention?

1:06:18 Adam For the love of Christ. Yeah.

1:06:20 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You're that guy.

1:06:21 Adam I'm that guy.

1:06:22 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You're the guy that takes me forever to get to my first class.

1:06:25 Adam Oh, but really, what really kills me. No, you just want to sit, you know, you just want to sit there and watch a little CNN and read the sports page and get a watered down drink. And then in a JFK, they don't open the bar until noon. Oh, that's brutal. Yeah, that's my other thing. I think airports and you guys, you guys are Canadians, you're alcoholics, you're in a band, so you travel around a lot. You're going to be with me on this one, which is international airports need to be international waters. There's no moratorium on, well, we open the bar in this time or we close it on that time. Who, you don't know what time it is. You're fluent from Australia. So what that it's 10 a.m. in New York, to you it's 4:30 a.m. and it's two days earlier, you need a Bloody Mary.

1:07:10 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Well, yeah, or you need a burger.

1:07:13 Adam Or you need a burger.

1:07:14 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I don't want a breakfast from McDonald's.

1:07:16 Adam I want a burger. You want a good burger, you want a nice in and out burger. Yeah.

1:07:20 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce It's not 11 for me, then.

1:07:22 Adam The point is, is yes, it should be like, there should be gambling, there should be booze, it should be international waters. And who cares? A guy came in from Tokyo. Who cares what time it is? Not whatever time it is for him, it's not for you. It's not really 8 a.m. to him. That's what I'm saying. He wants his booze.

1:07:38 Dr. Bruce It's wrong.

1:07:38 Adam Am I right?

1:07:39 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I agree.

1:07:39 Adam I agree. That's right.

1:07:40 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce All right.

1:07:41 Adam So here's the things we need. And then it wouldn't be that thing where it's from airport to airport, like, oh, in LA actually, you could get a drink, oh, but New York, no, you can't get a drink. You can't keep track of everything after now bring. You know what? I have to bring my own keg with me. When I travel, I bring a pony keg with me.

1:07:57 Dr. Bruce No porn in first class, Adam.

1:07:59 Adam No porn in first class either.

1:08:01 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You got the wireless internet now, so you can bring your own porn. Yeah.

1:08:05 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:08:05 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Look at that. I'm all over that.

1:08:07 Adam Yeah. And I've found, and here's a tip for you guys to fly first class, the plastic wrapper that the blanket comes in makes a hell of a bib.

1:08:18 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce And for Gene, our first caller, the plastic, you know, if she's going to get busy in the plane, so she doesn't get all over the floor.

1:08:26 Adam That is right. All right. So what have we figured out tonight? We went the age of consent, nationalize, just pick one age. I think we figured out it was 11, right? It was 11. Well, here's what I do. Here's why I say 11. I say 11, so when they start arguing, it only gets up to like 12 and a half. And I'm like, generous. All right, all right, 12 and four months. I'm feeling very good. I'm feeling very good. I hope you're happy. But take it to the cleaners. You see, start low and keep, start haggling so it doesn't go up too high. So that's age of consent. And then airports, international waters, gambling, boos, no timeline, nothing like that. No clocks. It's like a casino. Nothing. Just, just boos flowing and you want to eat ribs at 8 a.m. There's a place that's open that serves them.

1:09:11 Dr. Bruce I'm here to represent Drew's position on this.

1:09:13 Adam Oh, shut up. No one wants to hear it. Sum 41 is in tonight. I think we could hear a song. I think we should hear a song.

1:09:19 Dr. Bruce Absolutely.

1:09:19 Adam Should we hear a song? You want to do it after the break, Anderson? All right. We'll do it after the break. Sum 41, by the way, is going to be at Jimmy Kimmel Live this Wednesday, the 15th. And they're Hollywood and Sons, Hollywood and Highland, basically during the, during the whole walk of stars. El Capitan Theater, Real Landmark. Go see Sum 41. Rock out. That whole big parking lot stage. You've seen it out there, have you not, Bruce? Yeah. Oh, look, he went tonight.

1:09:47 Dr. Bruce Full of revolvers.

1:09:48 Adam Huge, huge venue. Great place to play.

1:09:50 Dr. Bruce I don't know how to leave to come here.

1:09:52 Adam Sorry about that.

1:09:53 Dr. Bruce And get abused.

1:09:54 Adam You guys are better.

1:09:55 Dr. Bruce Don't worry about it. Oh, yeah.

1:09:56 Adam You go out, go out and watch Sum 41 this Wednesday, and they'll play a couple of songs for the show, and then the concert begins because they save the good stuff for when the camera stopped. Like you save your good stuff for when the microphones are shut down. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:10:17 Adam Please hold. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Bruce, doing a more than adequate job filling in for Dr. Drew.

1:10:39 Dr. Bruce Are my numbers down, everybody?

1:10:40 Adam Yes, certainly have.

1:10:42 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce It's going up over there, but it's gone down on this side, so it's fine.

1:10:45 Dr. Bruce You got these guys abusing me.

1:10:46 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce No, no, I'm just kidding.

1:10:48 Adam Ah, it's so fun, how can you not? Sum 41 in studio tonight, Chuck, Name of the CD. Saw these guys last night at the Amphitheater. Do a great job, as a matter of fact, Drew and I brought them out on stage, and then Wednesday night at Jimmy Kimmel Live. Still time to go out and see them. All right, we're gonna hear another song, and we're gonna take another call. So let's take a call first. Katie?

1:11:16 Huh?

1:11:17 Adam You're 17?

1:11:18 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:11:19 Adam Yeah, what's up, baby doll?

1:11:21 Caller Can I just say that I'm so in love with Sum 41, and I really wanted to call to tell them hi?

1:11:25 Adam What's not to love, Katie?

1:11:28 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Love, I love them.

1:11:29 Caller Um, I was just wondering, what would you guys do if, say, you had, like, a best friend, and she's cute, and, you know, you like her, you know, a little bit, and then you, like, have sex with her, and then everything just changes, and then... This is the rule.

1:11:43 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce This is the rule.

1:11:44 Caller Huh?

1:11:46 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You...

1:11:48 Caller What?

1:11:48 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Things change after that. Go ahead. So, you know, what you gotta do is, so you just stop talking to her, right? Unless you want to keep going with it, right? And then give it some time, and then you start talking again. That's how you handle that one. Is it? Absolutely. Just stop talking. Because they'll forgive you. Yes. That's what I do. I don't have a best friend, and I have the whole idea.

1:12:10 Caller No. Not really. I really, really, really like this guy, and it's really bugging me.

1:12:14 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Well, why... Well, you know, then what's the problem?

1:12:17 Caller He's acting weird.

1:12:20 Caller How old are you?

1:12:21 Adam She's 17.

1:12:22 Caller How old is he?

1:12:24 Adam Bro's 17.

1:12:25 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Okay. Well, he's probably even virgin.

1:12:27 Adam Well, who liked who first? Because one of you likes the other one. You liked him first.

1:12:32 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Does he like you now?

1:12:34 Caller Well, I don't know. He did, I guess.

1:12:36 Dr. Bruce Well, you guys... Did you... Kate, you said you just had sex?

1:12:39 Caller Yeah.

1:12:40 Caller And it's weird now.

1:12:41 Adam Whose idea was that?

1:12:42 Caller Now it's weird.

1:12:43 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Was it...

1:12:43 Caller Well, then it must have not been very good.

1:12:45 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce No, that's not true. It's probably fantastic. She probably went in two seconds.

1:12:50 Adam No, here, look. Here's what it is. Here's what happens. When a girl likes a guy, she can work her way in, and eventually she can just break the guy down and have sex with him. Because a guy will have sex with... He'll have sex with a knothole in a pine plank. If he has just a couple of schlitz tall boys. He absolutely will. And then the chick thinks, Oh, oh, well, I see. Now he likes me. No, he doesn't like her any more than Steve liked his dead hooker or stripper or whatever she was.

1:13:22 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce She wasn't dead at the beginning of the night.

1:13:24 Adam Well, that's why. And then she died and he fell in love.

1:13:28 Dr. Bruce So, Katie, how long were you going out before you had sex?

1:13:31 Adam All right.

1:13:31 Dr. Bruce You want to wait? How long were you going out?

1:13:34 Adam They weren't going out. They were friends.

1:13:36 Dr. Bruce You were friends?

1:13:37 Caller Yeah. We were friends since the 7th grade and we're seniors now.

1:13:40 Adam And you are always secretly in love with him?

1:13:43 Caller Yeah.

1:13:44 Adam And here's the next thing too. They will let you know it. If you think about it, when you're in high school, if there's a chick who is hot and you can tell she has a crush on you, you do something if you're into her. He's not into you that way. No.

1:14:00 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce But that's not to say that he won't be.

1:14:02 Adam No, it is to say that he won't be. But it's not to say that others won't be. I know you're not interested in others. You're interested in this guy and you feel like you've put in all this time, but you're just going to waste more time.

1:14:14 Dr. Bruce At 17, the guy's got one thing on his mind, having sex. The girl doesn't.

1:14:18 Adam The girl's looking for him. If he was into you, you would have known it by now. Right.

1:14:23 Dr. Bruce How long ago did you have sex?

1:14:24 Caller He gives me those stupid little signs that guys give.

1:14:28 Adam Yeah, that's just a nervous tick. That doesn't mean anything. That's a palsy.

1:14:34 Dr. Bruce That's right. Once you've had sex, now he's uncomfortable. He feels like you want more.

1:14:39 Adam No, the reason he's pulling back now is because he understands that with the sex, now he sent the message and you're wanting to turn it into more than that, and he's cooling off. Now he wants to send you the message that he's not boyfriend material. So listen, I'm sorry to be cruel, but what is cruel is a doctor. If somebody comes in and you diagnose some cancer, it's time to treat it, not to say you'll be fine, go home. Right? All right. This is this. It's tough, but we have to do it once in a while. There's nothing wrong with you, Katie. You're 17. Your name's Katie. You got to be cute. You just go out and find a guy who likes you. And if this guy comes around, he comes around, but you can't pine for him anymore.

1:15:20 Dr. Bruce But remember, the communication.

1:15:21 Caller Can I just say he's a friend?

1:15:22 Adam No. That's going to be too hard on you. And you're only his friend because you're into him.

1:15:27 Dr. Bruce But there are a couple of things to learn here. First of all, when you have a relationship like that, when you have sex, it changes the dynamic. And so in the next relationship, you want to avoid assuming things about what the other guy.

1:15:38 Adam But have a relationship the next relationship. This is here's what happens. He she's only there because she's hot for him. Then they start pulling this crap where they're like, Oh, I don't worry about our friendship. You don't care about your friendship. You're in love with the guy. And the only reason you're around the guy is not because of the friendship, because you're enamored with the guy. Then you have sex. He freaks out. He pulls back. You freak out. And to be around him now will be torture. You'll start getting you'll be friends. And then he'll start telling you about some chick he's hot for dating or it'll be one of your friends. And you want to kill yourself.

1:16:10 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce That's why you just got to give it some time.

1:16:12 Adam Give it some time.

1:16:13 Caller How long ago did this happen?

1:16:15 Adam That's a good question.

1:16:16 Dr. Bruce How long ago did you have sex?

1:16:18 Caller This happened like two weeks ago.

1:16:19 Adam Two weeks.

1:16:20 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Just once though?

1:16:21 Caller Yeah.

1:16:22 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce All right.

1:16:23 Adam And he's pulled back.

1:16:25 Caller Yeah.

1:16:25 Adam Find a new guy. There's plenty of guys who like him. And listen, just because a guy likes you doesn't mean you can't like him. I know this guy seems, you know, forbidden fruit or he's unobtainable and so he's so sexy. Don't get into that crap. It's a miserable life if you're only into people that aren't that into you.

1:16:42 Dr. Bruce Right.

1:16:42 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:16:44 Dr. Bruce Bruce, do you know what I'm saying? Absolutely.

1:16:47 Adam All right.

1:16:48 Dr. Bruce All right.

1:16:48 Adam You got to find the people that are into you and be with them. Why not? You know, let me tell you something else in this life. People do a lot of like, nobody likes an ass kisser. I love an ass kisser. I love a guy who kiss ass.

1:17:00 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I love, I love even, you know, people that just laugh at your joke, even when you're not being funny.

1:17:06 Adam I love those people.

1:17:08 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I know you love them too.

1:17:09 Adam Tell me how good this feels. That is so true.

1:17:11 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce That is so true. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's a rays of sunshine. It's coming down on me. It's absolute love. Genius. Genius.

1:17:18 Adam Right on.

1:17:18 Dr. Bruce That's how you work, Steve.

1:17:20 Adam Bullseye, Steve.

1:17:20 Dr. Bruce You work, you work, you live for that.

1:17:22 Adam Bullseye.

1:17:23 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I'm always trying to put on a show. You guys have humored me by pretending that you like me. And I gotta thank you.

1:17:28 Dr. Bruce I have a great place to go.

1:17:29 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I'll thank you this one and only time.

1:17:31 Dr. Bruce I'm a good friend for that.

1:17:32 Adam No, it's, you know what it's like? It's like the fake orgasm. When I find out the chick is faking it, even better.

1:17:38 Caller That's because she's doing it for you.

1:17:40 Adam She is doing it for me. Yeah, she didn't even have an orgasm, yet she's making a fool of herself on my bed. Because she thinks that much of me. And the same with the ass kissing.

1:17:51 Dr. Bruce And you've had a lot of experience.

1:17:52 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce So this Katie needs somebody that will do that to her.

1:17:55 Adam Yes, because here's what happens. When you constantly, when you do that unrequited love thing, when you're constantly into somebody who's not into you, it just erodes your self-esteem. It grinds you down. Even cute young chicks named Katie start feeling bad about themselves because they've been chasing after a guy for five years who ain't into them. And that'll erode your self-esteem.

1:18:18 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I have friends who love that. Girls that love the guy who treats them like crap. And we'll do it over and over and over again.

1:18:28 Caller Man, that is true.

1:18:29 Adam This guy's right on.

1:18:31 Caller Yeah.

1:18:32 Adam Looking good. I saw him last night beating those skins, by the way.

1:18:36 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Absolutely fantastic.

1:18:38 Adam Fantastic.

1:18:39 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce How am I doing over there? What's my rating right now?

1:18:42 Adam You hear about guys like John Bonham and these pussies. Nothing.

1:18:46 Dr. Bruce Doesn't hold a drumstick.

1:18:47 Adam Nothing. Nothing. Should have never got a kid. There we go. Yeah. All right. And that was Steve-O playing that one too.

1:18:54 Caller Yeah.

1:18:55 Adam That's him again. Man, fantastic drumming. Fantastic drumming.

1:18:59 Caller All right.

1:19:00 Adam Should we hear a song?

1:19:01 Dr. Bruce Absolutely.

1:19:02 Adam Sum 41, my favorite band. I say it every time, right?

1:19:06 Dr. Bruce Even when they're not here, I've heard you say that.

1:19:07 Adam Absolutely. It's a band that's on a rock. All right. They're all the way from New Finland, everybody. Sum 41, new CD is called Chuck, and this song is called We're All the Blame. Are we singing? Yeah, Sum 41. It is nice. Rocks hard in the middle, but toast to a silky stock. Chuck, name of the CD, gonna be at Jimmy Kimmel Live this Wednesday out at the big stage outside. By the way, that's an honor, by the way. They don't ask everyone to play the big stage. A lot of people play inside. So go out and see them get there about seven o'clock and watch Sum 41. As promised, it's time to play a little Ace's Mexican Ranchero Accordion Countdown. This game is a sweep in the nation. I'm sure it's only a matter of months before it makes it up into Canada.

1:23:33 Dr. Bruce Boosting the ratings.

1:23:33 Adam And here's how the game goes. Ranchero music, notorious for leaning on the accordion. Quite heavy. We take a random Ranchero song and pick a random spot to start it in. Could be, not necessarily the beginning of the song. The middle of the end, any place in the song. How long before we hear the accordion? Three seconds. You say three seconds.

1:23:57 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce You say eight seconds.

1:23:59 Adam Hold on, hold on, hold on a second. I gotta write this down. Bruce is three seconds, yes?

1:24:06 Dr. Bruce Yes.

1:24:07 Adam Steve, you're...

1:24:08 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Eight.

1:24:09 Dr. Bruce Eight, five.

1:24:11 Adam Eight seconds, hold on. Derek is gonna be five seconds.

1:24:16 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce And Cone, let's say right away.

1:24:18 Adam Immediate. Immediate.

1:24:19 Dr. Bruce We're gonna start right on it.

1:24:20 Adam That's a good one. That's a good one. And...

1:24:23 Caller I have a feeling.

1:24:25 Adam I'm going, wow, it's tough. It's a lot of spots taking up. Maybe I go heavy. Maybe I go ten seconds. That's a lifetime in the Ranchero accordionist. But I'm going ten seconds. All right, so we got ten, five, eight, three, and immediate. Michelle. All right, I will cue you. Three, two, one, go.

1:25:04 Caller You know you're Ranchero.

1:25:06 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Can I get a little applause there, pal?

1:25:07 Adam Wow, that is just dead nuts on.

1:25:10 Dr. Bruce I think Adam took you off.

1:25:11 Adam No, no.

1:25:11 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I was supposed to know that just happened. It's a random spot. It's my night, it looks like.

1:25:15 Adam Hey, seriously.

1:25:16 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I actually know this track, though, so.

1:25:18 Adam It's kind of cheating. The laughing thing before was maybe just to put on for the radio when I was kissing your ass, but you seriously have a gift in guessing Ranchero accordion music. It's not funny. I mean, I don't know what you're doing, wasting your time in a band for it.

1:25:36 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Well, at least in a rock band one, I could be in a Ranchero.

1:25:38 Adam You could be in a Ranchero, timing the accordion.

1:25:44 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah, or playing the accordion. Well, yeah, I could be playing.

1:25:49 Adam There's no way I could handle that much present. Let me tell you something too. That was not eight seconds in five tenths of a second or anything. That was right on eight seconds. I mean, that is just, again, I don't know, you don't train for that. You've been touched by God, my friend.

1:26:09 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I got a gift. Tickled by God.

1:26:10 Adam You have a gift. You were diddled by God.

1:26:13 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah. God was Joe. All right.

1:26:18 Adam Let's take ourselves a little break. That's how you play Ace's Mexican Ranchero accordion countdown, eight seconds. All right. Sum 41 in studio tonight. We will take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:26:32 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Eight seconds.

1:26:46 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Bruce. Sum 41 in studio tonight. Chuck, name of the new CD or Newish. Been out for a couple of months. Ben's going to be at Jimmy Kimmel Live on Wednesday playing out in the parking lot and the Donnas are going to be in here tomorrow night and then Papa Roach on Thursday. That takes care of the business. We'll just keep on keeping on and speak to Jessica, who's 21. Jessica.

1:27:14 Caller Hi.

1:27:15 Adam What's up?

1:27:17 Caller I'm 21 and I just lost my virginity this year, 2004, and I've had two partners, so one in January and one in September. I don't find myself very sexual, active, into sexual activities as other girls, and I just want to note that's normal.

1:27:37 Caller I don't masturbate, I don't get horny.

1:27:40 Adam All right, we got people with real problems. Come on, baby.

1:27:44 Dr. Bruce Okay, there's a white off now.

1:27:46 Adam I don't masturbate, I'm not very horny.

1:27:50 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce The beginning was way more fun, you know? They're wet in the bed, they're orgasming so much.

1:27:55 Adam She's like, I wear nine pair of men's underpants before I leave the house and six bras.

1:28:00 Dr. Bruce Now, now, now, there's a wide range of normal, so Jessica's fine as long as...

1:28:06 Adam Yeah, you're not in it though. Hey, Jessica? You're uptight. Are you, do you have any kind of, you know, funky religion or anything we can make fun of? Or are you just, are you just a virgin? Just a virgin?

1:28:20 Caller I'm pretty much, I mean, I don't know, like, I kind of like want to experience more and, you know, sexual things and be more open-minded about trying things.

1:28:30 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce What about the blowjob? Did you do the blowjob? I'll tell you one thing about Canada.

1:28:34 Adam Yeah, what about it? Because I'm this close to the moment.

1:28:36 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce All about the blowjob.

1:28:37 Adam Really?

1:28:38 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce The girls don't do the blowjobs. They give the blowjobs.

1:28:40 Caller In the States, in the States, they beg for it.

1:28:42 Adam I'm leaving.

1:28:44 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce In the States, a girl will be like, ew, I don't do that. And then she'll be like, okay, let's have sex, but I don't want to use a condom. So you won't put my penis in your mouth, but my dirty band guy penis will go in your vagina without a condom.

1:28:55 Adam Dirty.

1:28:56 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce So dirty.

1:28:57 Adam Filthy, I would say.

1:28:59 Dr. Bruce Shocking, shocking.

1:29:00 Adam Yeah. So we didn't downgrade it to dirty. It's filthy.

1:29:03 Caller Yeah.

1:29:04 Adam I'd rather eat like a piece of chapstick that got put out in an ashtray. I would.

1:29:11 Dr. Bruce Great.

1:29:11 Adam I really.

1:29:11 Dr. Bruce Great analysis.

1:29:12 Adam It's a filthy penis. So Jessica, believe you me. I know.

1:29:18 Caller I want to know, like, is that normal?

1:29:20 Caller I'm very sheltered as, you know, a kid. I don't have any parents. My mom gave me a third grade. I was raised by women, you know, and I.

1:29:28 Adam Lesbians. We raised by lesbians. Oh, you're.

1:29:31 Caller No, no, no, no, no.

1:29:31 Caller All my aunts, like five of them.

1:29:34 Adam Jessica, here's the thing. Here's the thing with women. Bruce is right. Broad spectrum of sexuality.

1:29:40 Dr. Bruce Right.

1:29:40 Adam You just don't have the motor that some women have sexually. That's fine.

1:29:44 Dr. Bruce Yeah. And you may need to be further into a relationship with more intimacy and communication.

1:29:49 Caller I've never been in a relationship. I've never had a boyfriend.

1:29:52 Caller I've always tried.

1:29:54 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce It's fun. I never had a girlfriend.

1:29:56 Adam Right. Then you got to ban.

1:29:58 Dr. Bruce Well, if you lose your parents at that age, sometimes there is more difficulty established.

1:30:06 Caller It's nothing like I didn't lose them as in death. My mom just didn't want to raise me and my dad.

1:30:10 Adam Worse.

1:30:13 Dr. Bruce If you abandonment at that age, then establishing trust relationships later on can be more difficult.

1:30:18 Adam So better for your parents to both die in a fiery car crash when you're three than then to decide they're tired of rearing you. Yes.

1:30:27 Dr. Bruce Exactly. So Jessica, there may be some roots of dysfunction here. Seeing a therapist and working through some of that may help your relationships and sexuality.

1:30:36 Adam You're fine. It's fine a guy have a relationship. That's all.

1:30:40 Dr. Bruce We've had worse problem.

1:30:42 Adam You're working out.

1:30:43 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Let's try to get another one.

1:30:44 Adam We're all behind the curve. Yeah. Alice?

1:30:46 Caller Hi.

1:30:47 Adam Why does she only flirt with bad guys? Can't keep away.

1:30:50 Caller See?

1:30:50 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce That's what I was talking about earlier.

1:30:52 Caller Yeah.

1:30:53 Adam Look, all 19-year-old chicks like bad guys.

1:30:56 Caller It's a little different than that.

1:30:58 Adam All right.

1:30:59 Dr. Bruce Go ahead.

1:31:00 Caller Well, it's not so much that I like them, I flirt with them. Because like, not my last boyfriend before, he was a writer and that intrigued me beyond almost everything. I really didn't like him at all, aside from writing and he was a total a-hole.

1:31:19 Adam Boring. Hey, Alice, so you sound hot because you're pain in the ass. Is that right?

1:31:25 Caller Sorry.

1:31:26 Adam Yeah, you can tell. See, hot chicks, they're pain in the ass because they're used to people listening. You see, when they're in person, because everyone's like, wow, you're hot.

1:31:34 Caller And they keep.

1:31:37 Adam Everyone just hits their nods, their head. Fat chicks like, hey, fatty, go get me a beer and save, save the boring story for the kids at the hospital. I said, go on, fresh me up a beer, sweetie. So that's no, I mean, that's it. Fat chicks talk fast. You ever notice that? The fat chicks like an auctioneer, you're a big fan of that. Yeah, I love the band, Sum 41, I was the guy that got you a ledge rocker. It's like, the real is I gotta get it all in first. They're like the phone call you get, they're trying to sell you like timeshare during dinnertime. You know, they gotta get it in fast.

1:32:06 Dr. Bruce So they overcome your disability.

1:32:08 Adam Hot chick will just stand there and be boring and she knows you'll wait around.

1:32:12 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:32:12 Adam That's how I know Al.

1:32:13 Dr. Bruce And I like the bad guys.

1:32:14 Adam So now Alice is hot.

1:32:15 Dr. Bruce She likes the bad guys. We have a strip club question here.

1:32:16 Adam Oh really?

1:32:17 Dr. Bruce There's several experts in the room.

1:32:19 Adam Yeah, all right. Oh, we got a strip club question? All right, let's talk to Peter.

1:32:23 Caller Oh, hi, guys.

1:32:24 Caller I had a quick question. I know this might seem a little bit farfetched, but I went to a strip club and I was a little bit worried about I might have got an STD through a lap dance.

1:32:36 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce A snail trail.

1:32:37 Caller No, I mean, check this out.

1:32:38 Caller No, it was a female.

1:32:40 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I know. That's a snail.

1:32:42 Adam Oh, that's an actual slut. A person.

1:32:43 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:32:44 Adam Okay.

1:32:44 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce All right.

1:32:45 Caller Go ahead.

1:32:47 Caller Here's my theoretical basis for how it would happen. The girl was touching her vagina. I know she spread out her vagina and touched it. So I'm thinking she might have had secretions on her hand. And then shortly after, she touched my ear where I have a rash through eczema. And I was wondering if that would constitute like an open sore.

1:33:04 Adam What about that?

1:33:07 Dr. Bruce Very unlikely though, you know, the human, the haploma virus causing genital warts could possibly, if you have a wart, start growing on the ear there.

1:33:14 Adam Do you have something?

1:33:16 Caller Um, no, I'm just...

1:33:17 Adam No. Well, the whole stripper game is a little obnoxious. Like at the bachelor party, like she puts a whipped cream on the nipple.

1:33:24 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I gotta get my hand.

1:33:25 Adam Your buddy Russ is licking it off and then you're on it next. Yeah.

1:33:28 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce This is the greatest trick or whatever this girl ever had. And she poured a, she poured like a liter or a half liter bottle of water in her vagina.

1:33:38 Adam Wow. That's like 30 gallons.

1:33:40 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Put Derek's face right down there. An angel got its wings out. I was so happy. It was fantastic. You know, a very talented girl. And then, you know, I was too busy eating gummy bears off the other girls.

1:33:57 Caller Derek, Derek got a mouthful.

1:33:59 Adam It can get disgusting. Yeah. Someone.

1:34:01 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce Now, could you get something if you poured water in your girl's stripper's vagina and she shot the water on your face? Could you get something that way?

1:34:08 Dr. Bruce No, you might have a diving reflex, you know, which is what the the heart might slow down. No, you're not going to have any kind of.

1:34:14 Adam What about if a friend of mine, I don't want to mention his name, but you guys are doing a show.

1:34:20 Caller Just say Dr. Drew.

1:34:22 Adam You just sort of kneel down and the stripper dumped a beer on herself and it just followed the contour of her body. What about that one? Would that be a bad one? Did you catch anything from that?

1:34:33 Dr. Bruce No, I just.

1:34:34 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce So you're saying that there's no way, this is great news, there's no way to catch anything from a stripper.

1:34:38 Adam No, nothing.

1:34:39 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce I, yeah, that's great.

1:34:41 Dr. Bruce You guys are fine.

1:34:42 Adam You guys are fine.

1:34:42 Dr. Bruce Have your condoms, you have your total body condom on when you're in there.

1:34:45 Adam Yeah, yeah.

1:34:46 Dr. Bruce You got the rash on his ear is good. No, but you can't have anxiety disorder and go to a strip club because you're going to have this kind of a problem. It's he's not going to get an STD from.

1:34:56 Adam And let me tell you, it's like it's like a football coach used to tell me to. You can't go half speed. That's when you get hurt out there.

1:35:01 Dr. Bruce That's right.

1:35:01 Adam You know what I mean? You got to go full speed. You got to go hell bent for reelection. You go half speed. That's when you get hurt in the strip club. All right, guys, let's get a hand in. Let's break it down. Helmet's not a chip. Grab a knee. All right, we'll take a quick break. Be right back with Sum 41 after this.

1:35:46 Caller Well, that's it.

1:35:49 Adam Sum 41, everybody.

1:35:50 Dr. Bruce Great guess.

1:35:50 Adam Great guess. Great band, great guess. I'm not just kissing ass with Steve. I tell you, he's got a gift at the Accordion Countdown. No one beats a set of skins like this, man. I mean, talk about talent.

1:36:04 Dr. Bruce Drew missed a special mic.

1:36:05 Adam If Buddy Rich had the ability to guess accordion music and ranchero music, that's what Steve would be. He'd be Steve. He'd be Steve.

1:36:14 Dr. Bruce Can't touch him.

1:36:15 Adam All right, Derek, not chopped liver either, by the way. And I want to thank Cone for coming in as well. Sum 41, Chuck, name of the CD. Going to be Jimmy Kimmel at Jimmy Kimmel Live this Wednesday. Rocking out in the parking lot. I want to thank Dr. Bruce for doing a fantastic job filming for Dr. Who.

1:36:31 Dr. Bruce Go to dr.bruce.com.

1:36:32 Adam Dr. Drew. Yes. So until next time, it's Adam Carolla for Dr. Bruce. Saying mahalo.

1:36:40 Sum 41 with Dr. Bruce This has been Loveline.

1:36:44 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, December 13, 2004