Episode 1000665375790

8:10 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

8:14 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

8:26 Voiceover This is Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

8:33 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. Is that Dr. Drew? No, that's not Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is on route to the studio as we speak. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew, if he were here... I'm acceptable... .would be a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Now, let me tell you what's going on tonight there, kiddies. It's actually a problem that is what we call two-fold, or as you call, we call it cluster F. First off, Dr. Drew, not here. Dr. Drew went to Kathy Griffin's Christmas party tonight, which I was supposed to attend, but I ended up having to shoot something over at Jimmy Kimmel Live for his Christmas thing and couldn't make it. But it was funny, I was thinking of myself, and that's the first part. Drew not here. Hence, the dancing I'm doing verbally right now. Soon, engineer Michelle and I will break into the dreidel song. Yes, as a tip of the yarmulke to those who are celebrating the fourth day of lights here, Hanukkah, of course. But do you know the dreidel song?

9:41 I think so.

9:42 Adam Really?

9:43 Drew Even though I'm not Jewish.

9:44 Adam Yeah. Could you do it in Spanish, you think?

9:46 No.

9:47 Drew The only reason I know it is because I heard it on South Park.

9:49 Adam Well, hang tight. Sad that you're getting your news from South Park. Drew went to Kathy Griffin's party. Now, I've noticed in past years at Kathy Griffin's party, it can take a little while to get the car with the valet. And these are the problems us millionaires have, kiddies. We have problems getting our expensive sports cars out of the valet. But it's tough when you got to do a radio show because I know Drew, he probably cut out of the party about nine o'clock, maybe nine, ten, gave himself plenty of time to get over here. Kathy's place is probably 20, 25 minutes away from the studio. So he gave himself a nice pad. He went down there and there was a line going around the block. So I'm sure he got his car late. He called here and said he was on his way. The good news is, is Drew drives like a maniac, which is really the only thing I like about the guy. He's got himself a nice M5, so he's got plenty of horsepower to get him over here. Now, that's number one problem. He should be storming in any moment now. Number two problem is we have no calls. And yes, theoretically, we have calls, but we have no way to field them. Although I could punch this thing and go blind and see where I went.

11:03 Caller I can't believe that no one over there knows how to push a button and turn the thing on.

11:07 Adam Michelle forgot. I never knew.

11:09 Caller Lauren just called me and asked me how to do it. It's like, how the hell would I know how to do it from over here?

11:14 Adam That's a good point. Well, I'll tell you how, Anderson. We look at you as the smart one, which is absolutely frightening if you think about it.

11:22 Caller It is, it's very scary. I'm the drunk one.

11:24 Adam We count on Anderson, the guy with the drug problem, to bail us out of trouble. So Lauren, which makes her, it's why she's junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior producer, Lauren does not know how to fire up the screen. And look who just walked through the door, everyone.

11:42 Drew My god.

11:43 Adam Dr. Drew.

11:44 Where's Dr. Drew?

11:46 Adam Now Dr. Drew knows how to turn the computer on.

11:49 Drew Oh, my effin.

11:51 Adam Oh, we will talk. Hold on. Let me just say one thing very quickly. Engineer is Michelle and especially junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior producer, Lauren, you not knowing how to turn this computer on this time around is a medium sized faux pas. It's going to be egregious three months from now when this happens again and you don't know how to turn a computer on again. So make sure, Drew, get a Sharpie and draw it on a right boob. All right. Now, Drew. Now, of course, I could learn how to turn it on as well.

12:33 Drew Point well taken. Point well taken. Touche.

12:36 Adam Here's what I'm saying.

12:38 Drew Yeah, but still.

12:38 Adam No, Tom Cruise uses a stunt man. You know what I'm saying?

12:43 Drew It's not your job.

12:43 Adam Yeah. He doesn't set up the camera and do the clicker thing and and film that load the film canisters in. Yes, Drew.

12:51 Drew Yes, not your job.

12:52 Adam No, I'm a big celebrity. All right. So Drew coming from Kathy Griffin's party, which was delightful.

12:58 Drew Lovely house. Adam.

13:00 Adam Beautiful house.

13:01 Drew You seen this thing?

13:01 Adam No, I've not seen.

13:02 Drew Oh, my God.

13:04 Adam Nice, huh?

13:05 Huge, huge.

13:06 Adam Nice view.

13:07 Drew Oh, yeah.

13:07 Adam Yeah.

13:08 Drew Very Playboy Mansion esque grottos and waterfalls.

13:11 Adam And really, yeah.

13:15 Drew Conservatively, eight to ten times the size of the house they were in before.

13:19 Adam Wow.

13:20 Drew Huge.

13:20 Adam Eight to ten. Huge. Wow.

13:23 Drew So you were lots of room. You were crowded in like before. Yes.

13:28 Adam However, yes.

13:29 Drew I came about 845.

13:30 Adam The valet.

13:31 Drew The valet. Up in the Hollywood Hills, streets safe for half a vehicle, not to right direction. Right. Got the usual fare at the valet. And I said, Miss, you know, Signior, I have to be out of here in three minutes. I'm going to stay 10 minutes.

13:45 Adam Max. French guy.

13:47 Drew Jewish guy. Oh, and I said, I can be here 10 minutes. And when I come out, I got to know exactly how long it's going to take to get my car. Signior, you have your car in three minutes.

13:57 Adam All right.

13:57 Drew Three minutes.

13:58 Adam Three minutes.

13:58 Drew Three minutes. I have you. We're three minutes.

14:00 Adam Three minutes.

14:00 Drew Three minutes.

14:01 Adam What happened?

14:02 Drew I came out at nine o five. I got in my car at nine forty five.

14:06 Adam Wow. Yeah.

14:07 Drew And this is with me melting down, right? Getting driven up and down the hills looking for my car.

14:14 Adam They couldn't find your car.

14:15 Drew They somebody the keys are gone. Somebody's out there going to retrieve it. They couldn't find the guy.

14:20 Adam Couldn't find the guy with the keys.

14:21 Drew Yeah.

14:21 Adam Wow. Yeah. It's it's happened in years past over there. Yeah. Yeah. He was doing he was out at the Costco doing Brody's in the parking lot.

14:33 Drew And because we were going all through the streets where they park, I'm thinking, well, somebody just walked up and took the car.

14:39 Adam Yeah.

14:39 Drew And that with that horrible feeling, we think it's not going to come.

14:42 Adam Right.

14:42 Drew Not coming.

14:43 Adam Right. Well, what happened? The guy found the car.

14:45 Drew I didn't have time to even talk. The traffic. I let people go by. I mean, that but I talk about it. Out of the way. Out of the way. Got to go.

14:52 Adam All right. You made it. About three, four minutes late.

14:55 Drew I am more shocked. I kicked my car.

14:59 Adam Oh, yeah. Drove like a maniac, right?

15:01 Drew Okay.

15:01 Adam But here's what I know from watching driving films. You don't get anywhere any faster by driving faster.

15:08 Drew It was fruitless. Fruitless. Me passing those people at 87 miles an hour and 35. Wasted my time.

15:14 Adam No difference at all. You would have arrived at exactly the same time had you obeyed all posted traffic markers and speed limits. It would have exact no difference.

15:24 Drew And by the way, my estimated time arrival when I called Junior, Junior, Junior producer Lauren was about a 10, 10 to 10, 15.

15:31 Adam I know.

15:32 Drew That's what I figured.

15:32 Adam ETA was about 10 minutes late, 10, 15 minutes late.

15:35 Drew That was being, I thought it was being conserved.

15:37 Adam Yeah. Well, he drove like a maniac.

15:38 Drew Maniac.

15:39 Adam Nice.

15:40 Drew Yeah.

15:41 Adam Because let me say something about it.

15:43 Drew Blew up the carburetor.

15:44 Adam Yeah. Your car doesn't have a carburetor, Drew.

15:48 Drew I knew that. You do.

15:49 Adam He knows. He knows he doesn't have a carburetor, everybody. Yeah.

15:53 Drew Anyway, Kathy looks stunning. She's stunning in lots of festive types.

16:00 Adam What's the gay army there?

16:02 Drew Yeah. At least representations.

16:06 Adam Lots of people from the-

16:08 Drew Reality TV.

16:09 Adam Reality TV. Who'd you have?

16:11 Drew I saw the girl from the trainer from The Biggest Loser.

16:16 Adam Right. Oh, you saw her? Saw her. Okay. Anybody else?

16:20 Drew They're hard to tell. I saw Nicole from MTV, who was very kind and how much she missed us, wants to come back up.

16:29 Adam Who's Nicole from MTV?

16:31 Drew Mad TV.

16:31 Adam Oh, Mad TV. Oh, Nicole.

16:33 Drew Yeah.

16:33 Adam Nicole Sullivan.

16:34 Drew Yeah.

16:35 Adam Oh, okay. Yeah.

16:37 Caller And, No.

16:39 Adam All right. But recognizable faces.

16:41 Drew Yeah, a little face that you recognize, because, you know how me, I don't afraid to go up and say anything, because I probably met them 85 times.

16:48 Adam Right. Andy Dick, was he there?

16:49 Drew Didn't see him.

16:50 Adam All right. Probably.

16:51 Drew Oh, Ron Jeremy. Ron Jeremy.

16:52 Adam Ron Jeremy.

16:52 Drew Do you have more time with Ron? Sure. Ron Jeremy, every time I meet him, he's with a female physician.

16:57 Adam Oh, really?

16:59 Drew Every time I run into him, I ran into him at Seattle Airport one time.

17:03 Adam Yeah. I think he just, that's-

17:05 Drew No, I talked to her.

17:06 Adam That's an Anima nurse.

17:07 Drew No, she was an internist, internal medicine resident. All right.

17:11 Adam You ready to rock, Andrew?

17:12 Drew Yeah, let's go. Let's get to the show. Forget, leave it all behind.

17:14 Adam Let's go.

17:14 Drew Leave it all behind.

17:16 Adam Lauren?

17:16 Hi.

17:17 Adam You're 23?

17:18 Caller Yep.

17:19 Adam What's up?

17:21 Caller Basically, I'm calling because I'm coming up to my five-year anniversary with my boyfriend. He's 28 and we used to have like a rock star sex life when we first got together for truly like three years. It was just amazing.

17:35 Drew What does that mean?

17:37 Caller I craved it all the time and I mean, I kind of, I don't know if it was just me or it was like my prime or what, but I was all over him and we had like a wonderful, wonderful sex life and just things were always going great. Basically, I moved up here to Chicago and from, from where? I'm from Texas, from El Paso. I heard you talk about a ranch, about El Paso, but make a long story short, like lately, the whole last year, there's really no sex life whatsoever and I've gone to extremes of dressing up and I mean, anything possible and it's, it's really, he does smoke a lot of weed. I didn't know if that, but he always did. And we both work full time, but I didn't know if that could be an issue or.

18:25 Drew Why did you guys move to Chicago?

18:26 Caller Initially, for me, it's graduate school and then he does have family up here. It was kind of a change, some more opportunities.

18:33 Drew He's kind of, he's, he's not, not feeling him. You know, he's not, he's squawking, he's languishing, he's not doing anything. Oh, he's got to get his mojo back.

18:43 Caller I definitely feel that way.

18:44 Drew Yeah.

18:44 Adam He moved up there for you, really.

18:46 Caller Well, no, no, I moved up there for him.

18:48 Adam You moved up there for him, but you're going to graduate school.

18:51 Drew He's just hanging out.

18:52 Caller Initially, I was going to go to graduate school in Texas, and he wanted to move back up here and said, there's more opportunity, we can start our lives.

18:59 Drew Yeah, but here's how I put this together.

19:01 Caller Okay.

19:01 Drew He's languishing, he's not getting on with his life, his identity, which is very important for men, sort of languishing, not getting anywhere. Of course, he's smoking more pot, getting more depressed and less able to actualize these things because he's so strung out on the pot. The pot is the greatest way to put braids. The number one complaint, I have two complaints from every single marijuana addict I treat. One, can't find my car keys, seriously. And number two, can't finish my resume. Can never get my resume done.

19:31 Adam Well, you couldn't even find your whole car, Drew. So what about that?

19:34 Drew I was trying to heroine.

19:35 Adam You must have been high on peyote. They know where the car is, it's in the driveway.

19:40 Drew It wasn't mine, I'll be fine.

19:41 Adam Whatever, but excuses are like a-holes. Everyone has one and they all stink.

19:47 He is motivated, though.

19:48 Drew Yeah, but still, he's motivated?

19:50 Caller I mean, in different ways, but like, I feel like in our relationship, like, I want to get married and like, we do love each other and have been through a lot, a lot of stuff together, but-

19:57 Drew What does that mean? What do you mean a lot of stuff?

19:59 Caller I mean, just like the problems, lots of up and downs, lots of normal.

20:02 Drew Like what? That everything was perfect. Where's the ups and downs? What happened?

20:06 Caller Just normal fights like that normal couples have, but we've had, I mean, there's been some issues of trust. I mean, nothing significant. Like he's never cheated and I've never cheated.

20:19 Adam Slow down, slow down there, Connie. Look, you guys have been together for how long?

20:26 Caller Five years.

20:27 Adam Five years, hold on. Let me convene.

20:29 Drew From 18 to 23. How old is he? It's going to be the same.

20:33 Adam Probably the same age.

20:34 Drew Too long.

20:37 Adam First off, that whole first year, first six months or first whatever part where, oh, you guys are getting it on. Oh, it's like a ferrets on a double cappuccino. We never stopped humping. Okay. I find a nickel for every one of those stories. You know what I mean?

20:52 Drew That you've heard or that you've heard?

20:53 Adam Everything. I know. You can't hold that as any kind of marker. It's unrealistic. Everyone does that and then it settles into some rhythm.

21:03 Drew Yeah.

21:03 Adam Now, she said they've been together for five years. The first year was Rockstar Sex.

21:08 Drew They were 18, by the way, at that time.

21:09 Adam It's curtailed.

21:11 Drew Well, boyfriend 18 who's unleashing his passion.

21:13 Adam Oh, true. You could flood a small village with your passion at 18, yes? People screaming, taking to the streets, livestock, Pompeii, Pompeii.

21:25 Drew People left behind, people left behind, crusted.

21:27 Adam Frozen, frozen in time. In Drew's passion.

21:31 Caller In what?

21:31 Drew In time?

21:36 Adam In crystallized nougatty time. Yes, frozen like the lost civilization of Pompeii. Lauren?

21:47 Caller Yes. My main concern is, is it going to get worse? Are we going to, like, I mean, does it get worse? I don't understand.

21:53 Drew Yes, if you don't, there's something wrong. There's something wrong, and this is a sign that something's wrong. It's a symptom. Now, whether it's his marijuana or his lack of ability to get a career going or that this relationship has just run its course, there's something wrong.

22:03 Adam Yeah.

22:04 Drew And you guys need to figure out what that is if this relationship is going to survive, which maybe it shouldn't.

22:08 Adam On the other hand, maybe it ran its course.

22:10 Drew Right. Maybe it shouldn't survive.

22:11 Caller Is there any way that, like, I'm just getting my own hopes up, because I really do want to be with him. I moved up here for him, and, and, like, I do want to get married and things.

22:18 Adam How old is he?

22:19 Caller He's 28.

22:22 Adam Uh-oh.

22:23 Drew Yeah.

22:23 Caller That's what worries me. All of our friends are married and pregnant and home.

22:26 Drew By the way, why isn't he on in his life a bit? It's the pot.

22:30 Caller I mean, he has a great job. He has a great job. I just wonder about, like, why, I mean, there's no way you can be too tired when it's, you know, in the middle of the day and things of that nature. Like, I don't, I just don't understand, like, I think I may be attractive and, yeah.

22:43 Adam He has a good job.

22:44 Drew What's his job?

22:46 Caller He's an engineer for Comcast up here, which is like the cable company, things of that nature.

22:51 Drew Engineer? What does that mean?

22:53 Caller He does, like, different things with, like, AutoCAD and I don't know.

22:58 Adam He's got a good gig. All right. I suggest I would focus on the weed. I would say that a guy, now, Drew, I'm sure you'll jump in here, but the guy, he's been smoking weed for the five years you've known him, by the way. He didn't start smoking weed at 23. He probably started at 17, maybe 15. He's probably coming on 10 years of solid weed. And he's bottoming out. He's getting depressed. Now, it's not working for him anymore.

23:24 Drew It may not be a depression. They just, they just, the winds are out of their sail. They can't, they can't.

23:28 Adam Well, whatever you want to call it. I don't got a boner for my girlfriend. I'm tired. I'm lethargic. I call that depression.

23:36 Drew It's a form of it, absolutely. And, and, or you need to get him to be very clear and honest about this relationship and what his intentions are. And don't be all over him like, are we, when are we, I don't know, like he's going to freak out about that and retreat even more. Just, hey, where are we going? What, what, what are your plans? Let's figure this out.

23:51 Adam Right. All right. Let's keep on, keep it on. Got to say this first, for me to keep on, keep it on. Just thinking about this. I know you'd want to say, we got the big K-Rock Acoustic Christmas coming up this weekend. It is Saturday and Sunday. Well, one of the bigger rock events of the, in the nation and in the world, for that matter.

24:14 Drew It is, yeah.

24:14 Adam I would say. Bigger and better and just about any other place in town. And people want tickets.

24:21 Drew Oh, yeah.

24:22 Adam Here's the thing.

24:23 Drew Just because we work for the radio station.

24:25 Adam It's been happening every year now. Now, people want tickets and tickets are very hard to come by and they're very expensive.

24:32 Drew I heard people getting like $3,000 a ticket out there. Yeah.

24:35 Adam Well, rumor has it that's that's plan B for the Ace man. The point is, is everyone wants a ticket.

24:42 Drew Yeah. And let me get, let me read your mind here. And you work for a radio station, Adam, and you've been at that station for a long time. So yes, you must, they must hand you just, just fistfuls of tickets. You were just free tickets, just passes and tickets and pass and take it right. This is, oh no, wait a minute. Yeah. They gave you two tickets.

25:00 Adam I had to threaten to quit when we wanted milk. Remember that?

25:03 Drew Right, right. For our coffee.

25:04 Adam Quarter milk a week seemed, oh, your highness wants milk. How extravagant. Well, talk about, it's like, it's like a, like a rock star's rider for how the dress room should be. I want all the pimento picked out of the loaf. That's what it sounds like over here.

25:18 Drew It's not even so much that this, that the reality is so beneath where it should be. It's just people's perception of where it ought to be is way off.

25:26 Adam So now here's the problem. The ticket prices keep inching up every year. Now they're like 65 bucks a pop. Everyone and their mother wants one. I found out that it was going to be, I don't know, 700 bucks or 655 bucks or something like that for a handful of tickets that I wanted for, well, what I thought was both nights as it turns out, both nights is more 1300 and something bucks. Everyone's got a good reason why you shouldn't charge them. What the hell do you do? I mean, you have to eat it, right? But I mean, it's one thing to shell out $175 or something for your friends or, you know, 15 associates. When it's getting toward a used truck at this point. Like, what do you do?

26:08 Drew I know.

26:10 Adam No?

26:10 Drew What do you do? I don't know.

26:11 Adam Drew, you're cheap. What do you do? You charge.

26:14 Drew Well, I make people pay that are not close friend, but I give them to some people too.

26:18 Adam Yeah, and then the people that are going to pay you, it's always weird. What? Oh, no. Oh, I thought, oh, I brought it in somewhere.

26:25 Drew Somewhere, you know, they're thinking he didn't pay for these. You know, they're thinking that.

26:31 Adam Yeah. Well, look at me. I got not only he works for the station, he didn't pay for these. I also have the me screaming, I'm literally a millionaire on the air every single night. So, whether he paid for or not, proud ears really, he's literally a millionaire, got the tickets for free.

26:48 Drew And he's tripping me off for 65 bucks a pop.

26:50 Adam Yeah. People do that to us all the time. They're like, oh, come on, they must give you whatever you want. I would know. No. I tried to get out of here with a bumper sticker once I was tackled at the door. I had a key chain just to make it out to my car.

27:04 Drew You still haven't retrieved that, have you? I heard you got hooked up there.

27:07 Adam It's been a while. Yeah.

27:08 Drew You forgot about it.

27:09 Adam Well, had all the janitor's keys on, I think that's the problem. I should have taken it off the janitor's key ring. The problem is, is now we're literally, I brought my checkbook tonight, we're literally at $1,300 and something dollars. My hand is going to start shaking as I make this checkout. And most of them are like, what the hell you do? This is friends of the friends, they did this, they did that all year. What do you do?

27:34 Drew I'm amazed you got so many tickets. Think about that. I mean, Amy came through for you.

27:38 Adam Yeah, she did. She did, but now I'm angry because I have to pay for them. Drew, I blame you. You got us too many tickets. Now I have to pay for them. All right, let's keep on.

27:48 Drew Begden, begden, begden, begden, begden.

27:50 Adam Here's the best case scenario. I get back like 30 cents on the dollar.

27:55 Drew Oh, yes.

27:55 Adam That's best case scenario.

27:57 Drew That's a third of them paid for.

27:59 Adam That's best case scenario.

28:02 Drew Well, don't worry, people won't want any of those high-grade backstage passes when you get to the area. All the people.

28:08 Adam OK. So the $1,365 check I'm going to write tonight, I should recoup.

28:14 Drew $300.

28:14 Adam $300 out of it. All right. That's going to be great. Hey, folks, not literally going to be a millionaire at this rate, by the way.

28:21 Drew Not the way it's going.

28:23 Adam I didn't get to be a millionaire by handing out money. Miriam.

28:28 Oh, wow. I got through.

28:30 Adam You're 20.

28:31 Guest Yeah.

28:32 Adam What's up?

28:36 Guest I pretty much, well, can I tell you what happened in my past? Because it reflects upon how I pretty much choose how I treat.

28:44 Drew Let's see how you make us feel.

28:46 Yeah.

28:48 Adam We're used to prying that out of people who don't want to go along on that ride with us.

28:54 Drew Abandonment, sexual abuse.

28:58 Guest My father died when I was three.

29:00 Adam That's abandonment.

29:01 Guest Yeah. And pretty much what I said to myself at age three was, and this all reflects how I treat and then I think, is I said to myself before I went into his room, I said, pretend everything's okay. I said this at age three, which is still completely dead. I said, pretend everything's okay, depend on yourself from now on, and don't tell anybody what you're feeling.

29:21 Guest And then I went into his room.

29:23 Guest Yeah.

29:23 Drew Don't tell me what you're feeling. Wow. At three.

29:26 Guest Who?

29:26 Adam Your dad told you that?

29:27 Drew No, she told herself that. She went into the room to see him dying.

29:30 Guest Yeah. And that's always been with me.

29:33 Adam What did he die of?

29:35 Guest He smoked a pack of A and then he had pneumonia. I did a research about this actually.

29:42 Drew So he got lung cancer basically, emphysema.

29:45 Guest Lung cancer and then it went to his brain. At almost all three of them.

29:51 Drew Yeah. Emphysema, lung cancer, pneumonia.

29:54 Adam Oh, oh, oh. That meant all three lungs of brain.

29:56 Guest Pneumonia, lung cancer, and then brain cancer.

29:58 Adam He was 35, 40?

30:02 Guest I'm not too sure.

30:04 Guest I think about middle, middle.

30:09 Drew So now Miriam, you can't be around good guys. You have to be around bad guys. Cause he-

30:12 Adam Hold on a second.

30:14 Drew She doesn't sweat the details. Don't worry.

30:16 Adam No, but it was middle thirties. That doesn't make sense.

30:20 Drew Does it? Some people will get lung cancer early. Yeah, sort of an accelerated version.

30:24 Adam Marry him?

30:25 Guest Yeah.

30:26 Adam All right. So the guy died at like 35?

30:30 Guest Pretty much. I don't really remember. I mean, his subject has never really come up in my family, but it gets worse after this.

30:39 Drew He what?

30:40 Guest It gets worse after that. My son, my mother remarried an asshole.

30:44 Drew This is where the sexual abuse comes in.

30:46 Adam Uh-huh.

30:46 Guest No, no sexual abuse actually. More mental abuse, emotional abuse. You know, when I was six, she got married and he treated me like he made me.

30:59 Drew Miriam.

31:01 Adam Baby, with the S word.

31:02 Drew The S bomb.

31:03 Adam I have to say to people all the time, how often do you hear the S word or the F word for that matter on the radio?

31:10 Drew Well, it's getting a little bit moot for you to say that because you and I hear it every night.

31:14 Adam Well, that's true. We do. And they're like, well, Adam, you're talking about finger-blasting. I know, it seems egregious and it doesn't seem fair. But still, how often you hear the S word?

31:29 Drew Yes.

31:30 Adam You know what I'm saying?

31:30 Drew Right.

31:31 Adam Cannot use the S word, everybody.

31:33 Drew I like the way our callers, our callers sort of, they relish it too. They don't let it slip. They put a punch behind it.

31:39 Adam Yeah, they hit it.

31:40 Drew They hit it hard. Treated me like, yes.

31:42 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's big, it's bold. It's powerful. All right, hold on.

31:48 Drew And then they go right on past after punching it.

31:50 Caller And so anyway, I should take it as a compliment though, because it means that they're like really comfortable talking.

31:55 Drew Yeah, I do on a certain way.

31:57 Adam Yeah, now they're, they're, yeah, it's, it's, it is. They're comfortable and we should take it as a compliment. That's why I tell the ladies when I start breaking gas around them. This is, I'm blowing gas because I'm feeling relaxed. Yeah, you feel, I feel like, I feel like you're not even here. Or if you are, you're maybe a pet or a plant.

32:15 Drew This is the way you behave around your dog. Yeah.

32:17 Adam And by the way, as I get more comfortable, the ass will get closer to your head.

32:24 Drew Okay. All right.

32:25 Adam We will take a quick break. Miriam and, oh, we got a nice, nice enema question coming up. All right. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

32:36 Caller Loveline.

32:37 Guest Okay.

32:37 Wait, wait.

32:39 Guest My hair, my hair.

32:40 Caller We'll be right back.

32:41 Caller Live 105.

32:48 Adam Hey, yo, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-ER. Some 41 in here next week. The Donnas, Papa Roach. Big musical week next week. And popped a zit on my back today, Drew.

33:06 Drew Oh, congratulations.

33:08 Adam Pow.

33:08 Drew Did you drop something into it or did you squeeze?

33:11 Adam I dropped a lance into it. I pinned it in that baby. And it hit the mirror.

33:18 Drew Nice.

33:20 Adam Like it was fired out of a cannon. You know, they test the impellers on jet engines by firing birds at them. That's a tough gig for a bird. Yeah, fire birds out of a cannon at them.

33:34 Drew What? I've never heard of this. Well, why?

33:38 Adam Well, how do you think? All right. You got to. Then we're getting back to my sit.

33:41 Drew OK. Yeah.

33:42 Adam That's the velocity to hit the mirror with, by the way. Just pow. Awesome. Yeah. Nothing better. You never outgrow that.

33:49 Drew I want to hear more about the bird going through the jet propeller.

33:52 Adam Well, if you're if you're building jet engines for commercial aircraft or military or any application, you've got to be able to handle a seagull being sucked in, getting sucked into them.

34:03 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

34:04 Adam And they got to be able to handle that seagull sometimes going fast for 500 miles an hour.

34:08 Drew Oh, I see.

34:09 Adam The only way to really, really. I mean, to really know if that jet impeller is a live seagulls.

34:16 Drew No.

34:17 Adam Yeah. They're they're live. They're live and their families are there to watch. They bring their families there. Yeah. Well, yeah, they fly them. They bring the families in and they force them to watch. And it's a sort of.

34:32 Drew They fire more than one.

34:33 Adam It's a Sophie's Choice kind of thing. They'll take the parents of the seagull. Yeah, I'm not sure. I'm not sure if they have a machine gun that can fire birds. I think actually they do. They do. I don't think they freeze them either. They will do. They'll do frozen things too, but they take these birds, they put them in a cannon, and they fire them into jet engines.

34:57 Drew Wow, interesting.

34:58 Adam Yeah. Tough gig for the cleanup crew. Yeah. It'll be nice.

35:02 Drew Not to mention the bird.

35:04 Adam It'll be great. I'd love just to get one of these nut jobs like Betty White or one of these PETA retards or something like that. Just force them to sit down and watch this. All right, load up the next seagull. There we go. Fire. Oh, it's just a cloud of feathers. But I guess, you know, I mean, you can't, you know, you can't take a piece of styrofoam and stick feathers to it.

35:26 Drew No, it's got to withstand. And I imagine a few of them at once, right?

35:30 Adam Yeah.

35:30 Drew Once in a while.

35:31 Adam Yeah. They fire birds at the thing. But as far as a bird goes, like it's like, look, you're going to be killed. You're going to, you're going to be eaten. Oh no, wait a minute. Over in this line. Yeah. It's got to be like, oh my God. William, what could be worse than being killed and being devoured on Thanksgiving or something? Here it is. You're going in the DC tenant. Yeah. That is a bad gig. But a weird and bizarre job forever has to administer it. There's a load of that cannon.

36:01 Guest Wow.

36:02 Drew Who is that guy? I want to talk to him.

36:03 Adam Decent gig. And then you just got to hate birds. And then the other cool gig is the guy, the Falconer down at the airport.

36:13 Drew Oh yeah.

36:14 Adam The Falcon. Go fly those birds off with a Falcon.

36:17 Drew They routinely do that?

36:20 Adam Yeah. A lot of airports have Falcons.

36:22 Drew Really? And what they just keep the place?

36:25 Adam Well, if you think about all these airports, half of them are just on the edge of the water.

36:29 Drew Oh, I was wondering why the seagulls didn't get sucked in more often.

36:32 Adam And it's just tons of aquatic birds. And a lot of it, I don't know, New York, New Jersey, where it's like marshland and stuff. It's tons of wildlife. You don't do it in the middle of the city. Right, right. There's tons of birds. They get a Falcon, just go run them off.

36:47 Drew Just one Falcon will do it. They have a whole bunch of them.

36:49 Adam I know it's not. Yeah. And then they form the shape of an arrow. Oh no, B, and they sting. Yeah. I don't know. I think it's one Falcon.

36:57 Drew A big guy with a hammer.

36:59 Adam How bad ass are Falcons? They just let them go in one area and the birds all go away.

37:02 Drew Yeah, interesting.

37:03 Adam Yeah. Birds are mean, Drew.

37:07 Drew I believe the birds have an intuitive sense that exceeds anything we sort of understand.

37:13 Adam I believe they're super stupid and angry.

37:16 Drew They're not intellectually smart, but I mean, think.

37:18 Adam They're not book smart.

37:20 Drew But you can fly 2,000 or 3,000 feet up in the air and spot a field mouse and grab it.

37:27 Adam Yeah. Really? That's what the Falcon can do. Yeah. I don't know. Good eyesight. How about the part where you just fly 3,000 months?

37:36 Drew Yeah. You know to do that?

37:37 Adam Yeah. I'm ignoring Anderson.

37:39 Drew Yeah. Anderson, you know what that does, don't you?

37:41 Adam Yeah. You just got another 40 minutes of bird talk.

37:45 Caller Actually, you know what? We have a visitor in here tonight. I was just explaining that it would have the reverse effect and I was just proving my point.

37:52 Drew Well done, Anderson. Well, having said that now, let's get on right to the phone, smartass.

37:57 Caller Aha.

37:58 Adam Thought you could outsmart the ace, man. Let me tell you something, Anderson. I'm the cannon. You're the bird and Drew's the impeller. You understand what that relationship's like? Only two are going to survive.

38:12 Caller You're firing me into Drew?

38:13 Adam Yes. I'm firing you into Drew. Miriam?

38:16 Drew Yes.

38:17 Adam What's up?

38:18 Drew So Miriam had the dad died at three, the abusive stepdad.

38:22 Adam That's right.

38:22 Drew Now she can't be around real good guys because that exposes her the possibility of being vulnerable, getting attached to somebody and losing them again.

38:28 Adam And no more cussing, Weisenheimer.

38:30 Guest I'm sorry.

38:31 Adam My fault. And your stepdad was abusive?

38:36 Guest Yeah. He would make me feel bad living with him. And I used, for example, I used his hairbrush in the shower and he just yelled at me, screaming and saying, Oh, you can't use my hairbrush. Illogical reasons.

38:52 Drew By the way, I'd love to replay that moment. Hey honey, don't do that. Scream to me, yelled at me. I hate my stepdad. All right.

38:59 Adam And your mom, now your mom, how is she?

39:04 Guest Well, she kind of denies the fact that he did any of that because she lives with him and now I don't, I left.

39:11 Drew All right. Be that as it may, you experienced this all as abuse. You now have trouble in relationships and that's how that works. But as you've pointed out earlier, it all harkens back to you being unable to connect with any feelings. You put them away, you disassociate from them, you swallow them down and off you go. So how about hooking things back up again? What do you think?

39:32 Guest I'm sorry.

39:33 Drew How about hooking back up with your feelings? Get a little therapy and sort this stuff out so you can be more flexible with your relationships.

39:40 Guest Yeah. I think what I do is I pretty much, I hook up with guys and I don't really get personal with them. I just kind of get sexual with them, but I don't go all the way with them and then I just wouldn't call them or they would be calling me and I would just ignore them.

39:55 Drew We get it.

39:56 Adam Well, now I know what you're doing, so let's start working on it.

39:59 Drew Yeah. We could just say, okay, go ahead and stop, which of course you won't do.

40:02 Adam No.

40:02 Drew But you can start working on the reasons that you're doing that. That takes some time or not, or go ahead and just have endless, a sendless line of meaningless, disconnected relationships with unavailable bad guys. I'm sure that's satisfying in some way, to be in control of all that. Yeah, but not a great way to go through life.

40:21 Adam All right. Let's talk to Nate who's 17. Nate?

40:25 Yeah.

40:25 Adam What's up?

40:28 Not much. How's it going?

40:30 Adam It was going fine, Nate. It was.

40:37 Drew Is it?

40:38 Just do it! Sorry.

40:41 Adam Is anal douching safe?

40:44 Drew Is it what?

40:45 Adam Is it safe? Anal douching, Drew?

40:48 Yeah.

40:49 Drew Meaning if you take a female douche product and put it in the took eye?

40:54 Guest I guess so.

40:55 Drew Or do you mean having an enema?

40:58 Guest Either one.

41:00 Drew Either one. Nate, what do you...

41:01 Adam That's such a finely crafted question. I'm guessing you're in some sort of advanced placement program at your high school.

41:08 I'm on your floor, then.

41:11 Drew Yeah, but that's really him.

41:14 What?

41:15 Adam Nate, we understand this is a bogus call. I don't understand why you can't focus it at all.

41:20 It's not a bogus call.

41:22 Drew What is it? What's your plan? What's your plan? What do you want to do?

41:28 What do I want to do?

41:30 Drew Why are you asking this question, say?

41:33 Caller Anal sex.

41:34 Drew You want to have anal sex? Are you gay?

41:36 Adam Yeah.

41:37 Drew And you want to sort of clean things out before hand?

41:40 Caller Yeah.

41:40 Drew Are you a trauma survivor?

41:43 Adam I wouldn't say so.

41:45 Drew You weren't sexually abused growing up?

41:48 Caller I don't believe so.

41:49 Drew Don't believe so.

41:50 Adam Something's up with him.

41:52 Drew He's sound. We got that sound.

41:53 Adam Angry?

41:54 Drew No, no. Just...

41:58 Adam No, seriously. Yeah, I'm serious about it. No, I know, I know. But what, what, are you in high school?

42:05 Guest Yeah.

42:05 Adam And you're gay?

42:07 Guest Yes.

42:08 Adam And nothing made you gay. That's just how you came out.

42:12 Drew No, no trauma.

42:13 Yes.

42:14 Drew Yes, there was trauma.

42:15 Guest No, there was no trauma.

42:16 Drew No, there was no trauma.

42:17 Caller Alright.

42:19 Drew And you're just thinking about these things, trying to prepare yourself, right?

42:22 Caller Yeah.

42:23 Drew Okay. Alright. Yeah. I think, I think.

42:27 Adam Yes, Drew. I would want...

42:30 Drew And enema sounds like a good idea.

42:31 Adam And enema sounds strong. Yeah. And do gay guys do this?

42:36 Drew I don't know. But I imagine some do. And it'd be interesting to like hear from our brethren to see what happens.

42:42 Adam Let me tell you, enema, not enough for the ace man if he's going back door.

42:46 Drew What do you want?

42:46 Adam I want a bottle brush.

42:48 Drew Shop vac?

42:49 Adam Shop vac, wet dry vac, bottle brush, loofah on the end of a mop handle.

42:55 Drew And then you're good.

42:56 Adam I want to be able to eat off that rectum. You know what I'm saying?

43:00 Drew Yeah.

43:01 Adam I want that thing.

43:02 Drew By the way.

43:02 Adam I want it scrubbed like it's a surgical instrument.

43:04 Drew All that scrubbing and sterilizing won't do anything for the HIV and the hepatitis and all that good stuff. In fact, it might make it worse because you'll irritate the rectum. So if you have something to give your partner, you're more likely to pass it on.

43:17 Adam There has to be a trick of the corn-holing trade.

43:22 Caller Condoms.

43:23 Adam No, I understand that.

43:25 Drew Preparation?

43:25 Adam There just has to be.

43:27 Drew Yeah, there must be a preparation.

43:29 Adam We've never really sat down, pardon the pun, and thought about it.

43:32 Drew So tonight's the night.

43:33 Adam But here's then the question. If you're heading out and you're heading out for a good night of anal debauchery, what do you do? You evacuate before you hit the bar. Then what?

43:48 Drew A little enema, I guess.

43:49 Adam A little enema. But then there's going to be another log coming down the flume.

43:54 Drew Not too long. Well, yeah, and you're...

43:56 Adam You got a window there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You're going to have a brown out soon.

44:01 Drew Well, if you're using the fleet's enema, which just clear out the base, the ampulla, that's one thing. But if you give a tap water enema, a high enema, Oh, high enema. You don't want to clean things out for a while. But you don't want to.

44:11 Adam Now, the fleet one's a low enema.

44:13 Drew Let's just, where's my picture? Here we go. I'll show you.

44:15 Adam Yeah. Okay. So one enema is just basically.

44:20 Drew The bottom stuff.

44:21 Adam Yeah. That's just an oil change. That's not a full lube and oil and rotating the tires.

44:27 Drew It's not taking the pan off and drilling the whole thing.

44:30 Adam Not dropping the pan. True. Knows what a pan is, everybody.

44:33 Drew Here you go.

44:33 Adam Check this out.

44:34 Drew All right.

44:34 Adam Drew's got his picture.

44:36 Drew This is the fleet's.

44:37 Adam The fleet's.

44:37 Drew High enema is going all the way up to here.

44:39 Adam All the way up.

44:40 Drew All that's coming down.

44:41 Adam All the way up. All this bow.

44:43 Drew Yeah.

44:43 Adam How long is that? Two feet?

44:45 Drew Yeah, two and a half, three feet.

44:45 Adam And how's the high enema getting up that high? It's got pressure.

44:49 Drew Pressure's water. The fleet's just go and it just squirts up. Gets some of this, but mostly comes right back down.

44:53 Adam Right. And the water pressure, how do you regulate the water pressure, one?

44:57 Drew How high the bag is.

44:59 Adam Oh really?

44:59 Drew Gravity.

45:00 Adam Really? So what if I'm, you know, just hanging on the top of the door?

45:05 Drew Yeah.

45:05 Adam What's that get me?

45:06 Drew That'll get you through most of this.

45:07 Adam Uh-huh. But also how high my ass is, because I like to stick my ass up.

45:11 Drew Yeah. If your ass is on the second floor and the bag's on the door on the first floor, it'll make it work.

45:14 Adam I'll go ahead and stand on a stool and put my ass up toward Macca.

45:18 Drew I know you like that.

45:19 Adam So you put the douche bag up. I swore someone was swinging on my grandma's door once. I'm almost vomiting. That's nice. You got to, please everyone, have the decency. Old people, please. Have the common decency to take the douche bag off the door.

45:36 Drew Special enema bag, please.

45:37 Adam You got a house with one bathroom. See, the Corollas, we had a choice between one bathroom and half a bathroom. There was never a full bathroom. There's just one small bathroom in every house I ever grew up with, which is fine, until you find grandma's personal lubricant. Do you know what I'm saying? You don't realize, really, what you got in your bathroom as an adult that you don't need the kids getting into. And when you only have one bathroom, it's a disaster.

46:08 Drew Look at this, the Glide 6.

46:10 Adam Dan works for airplane company, does testing with birds and engines.

46:14 Drew After the break. Oh, yes. Yes, it's awesome. Our listeners, as much abuse as you levy it out, put down for our listeners, we have good listeners.

46:24 Adam It's going to be disappointing.

46:26 Drew Come on, they come through for us all the time.

46:28 Adam Let me just check something. But Dan.

46:31 Hey, what's up, guys?

46:32 Adam You know what would be huge is if not only you knew about the birds being fired into the jet engines, but you had some information on gay douching.

46:42 I can't help you guys with that.

46:44 Adam All right. Wouldn't it be ironic if they use the same cannon?

46:48 Drew Ironic, yes.

46:49 Adam Okay. Hi, we're going to get back. We're going to talk about firing birds into a jet engines because that's what Loveline is about. Secondly, we'd like some answers on the douching with the anal. As far as the gays go. Do you clean yourself out? What are you looking for? And is there a sect of the gay community that doesn't want the...

47:09 Drew Oh, the clean.

47:10 Adam Doesn't want the clean.

47:10 Drew And by the way, this could catch on. I mean, you really are going to be a considerate heterosexual partner, a la Carolla.

47:17 Adam Yeah.

47:18 Drew If I were going to have sex with you, if I were a woman...

47:20 Adam What do you mean if?

47:21 Drew Well, if I were 100% chicken, not half chicken.

47:24 Adam You mean next time we play college.

47:25 Drew I want that S cleaned out.

47:27 Adam You want everything cleaned out?

47:28 Drew I want out. That's a dangerous area with you.

47:31 Adam I keep my junk. I sleep with it in that blue barber liquid. That you see at the barbershop?

47:37 Drew The barbershop?

47:38 Adam I will sleep with a sack of that on my junk.

47:40 Drew That doesn't take care of what's behind.

47:43 Adam I will actually have underpants. They're more fish tank than they are underpants. I will fill it with that and walk around an entire day that way.

47:51 Drew Getting better.

47:52 Adam All right. That's good. It's more of a, it's like a parts dip.

47:55 Drew All right.

47:56 Adam We're going to take a quick break. Be right back after this. My buddies call me Ace. Actually, I forced them to call me Ace. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er, Sum 41, The Donnas, Papa Roach, all in here next week. And now, as promised, we're going to head back to the phones and speak to Dan. As I was speaking of earlier in the evening, they test jet engines by firing birds out of a cannon into the impeller and propeller blades to see if they break off, because, you know, birds get sucked up into jets, and they got to make sure they can take it. Dan does something involving that. Dan?

48:59 Caller Hey, what's going on, guys?

49:00 Adam What's happening?

49:01 Caller Not a whole lot. How about you?

49:03 Adam Now, where do you work? What do you do?

49:05 Caller I work for kind of like an internship for Northrop Grumman.

49:10 Drew Nice.

49:10 Adam Yeah.

49:12 Caller Go get her.

49:13 Adam Yeah.

49:13 Caller And a lot of the engines that they use on most of the aircraft are made by Pratt & Whitney. And they have a little Tesla Silly up here in Azusa. And so I've seen them like do it a whole bunch of times and I've never seen them do it with propeller engines, but they do do it with jet engines a lot.

49:32 Drew Oh, Adam from jet engines.

49:35 Adam Jet engines. Okay.

49:36 Drew Shocking.

49:37 Caller It's pretty messy. It's not a cannon, but they do have the like the big wind tunnel and they have a high-speed fan blowing the air and they'll just like chuck a bird in there. They're usually frozen. Sometimes they're not.

49:51 Adam Yeah, they're usually frozen, which seems weird because the birds flying into it aren't frozen.

49:57 Drew Yeah. Why not use another substance? Why not just use ice?

50:02 Adam Yeah, which is a good point and why I'd be pissed if I was the bird, which is if you're going to use a frozen bird, now it seems like you just go buy frozen chicken, by the way.

50:13 Drew Or frozen steak or something.

50:14 Adam Fire it into it. Yeah, because once you take, well, what's water when it's not frozen going to do to a jet engine and what's it going to do when it's frozen? It's a totally different substance.

50:25 Drew Totally different bird.

50:26 Adam Yes. Yes. All right. Yeah. So you haven't seen them. You say they chuck it in there. How do they chuck it in there?

50:34 Drew Just drop it in. The wind takes it. I know.

50:36 Caller It's like it's like one of those laundry shoots, you know, like a big metal door. They pull it down, they drop them, they lock it and they check it.

50:43 Adam Right. But they do have a cannon that fires it into it, too. Oh, yeah.

50:47 Caller Oh, yeah. They got a cannon.

50:49 Adam OK, but all right. So you've seen, you've not just propeller engines, not just propeller engines. Hey, you've seen it done.

50:57 Caller I sure have.

50:59 Adam And they're not pretty. And what kind of birds do they use?

51:03 Caller Depending on like the type of motor, like if it's a real high altitude engine, they're not going to, they don't usually do that test. But like lower, like for like Lear jets and stuff, they, they use like area specific or altitude specific, um, Fowl.

51:22 Adam Yeah, just the ones you're going to encounter. But here's the thing I don't understand is every one of them's got to take off.

51:27 Drew You got to go through the altitudes to get to the high altitude.

51:29 Adam It's like, it's not like the X1, it gets launched from a B-52. I mean, you got to get up there, right?

51:37 Caller Yeah. Like, it's a pretty weird system because it's pretty elaborate how they do it. They don't just like chuck birds in there either. Like, they have these real, like, finely engineered, like, shards of, I don't know what it is.

51:49 Oh, boy.

51:51 Adam All right, Dan, good luck with that internship. All right, that was something. I told you it was going to be disappointing. It was a little something there.

52:00 Drew Yeah, it was something. Got the chute and the bird going down the chute and the wind tunnel and those specifics.

52:05 Adam But the chute's less exciting than the cannon.

52:07 Drew I know. The cannon's a little more vivid.

52:08 Adam Yeah. And it was funny, I was thinking, I was saying, I even probably said they, I think they're frozen, but I'm not sure, but it turns out they are frozen.

52:16 Drew Which is weird. Where'd you hear about it? Read about it. What'd you hear about it? Read about it?

52:22 Adam How dare you?

52:23 Drew Yeah, I know.

52:24 Adam You, way off. But first off, I don't want to lose my street cred with the kids, making them think I'm looking at words. What's that place where they keep the books again?

52:32 Drew Library.

52:33 Adam Library. Man, doesn't it have the word book in it, Michelle? Doesn't that seem weird?

52:37 Drew Not in English.

52:38 Adam How you supposed to know what it is if it don't have the word book in it, but they keep it's like a big house where all the books are kept. Can you believe that people go there? Here's the kicker. I don't know if you've heard of this or not, Michelle. You know why people go there? They go there to borrow the books. Yeah, let me borrow your book. Hello, nerding. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Take it back?

53:04 Drew This is before the internet, Monsieur.

53:06 Adam Going to borrow a book. What do you need with a book? That's what I'm saying.

53:10 Drew Where do you hear about the birds and the jet and the propeller?

53:13 Adam That livery place you're talking about, that's a place you would punish me. That's how you do it. You take me to that liberator and whatever you call it, dude, and that would be punishment. You know what I'm saying?

53:25 Drew I hear you.

53:26 Adam Okay. Yeah, no, you just watch, you know, you watch the History Channel. You get drunk every night.

53:32 Drew Modern Marvel, something like that.

53:34 Adam Drew, I was kidding when I couldn't pronounce library.

53:38 Drew I know. I wasn't kidding.

53:40 Adam That's what I'm saying. Shannon?

53:43 Guest Yeah?

53:44 Adam You're 18?

53:46 Guest Yes, I'm 18.

53:47 Adam All right, hold on. Hold on, baby cakes. We got to take a quick break.

53:50 Drew We'll set up a question.

53:51 Adam Waxes?

53:52 Drew Wakes up. Wakes up.

53:53 Adam Oh. Oh. It did seem like one.

53:55 Drew I was kidding when I mispronounced the water.

53:57 Adam But really, it's pretty damn close to an X there, isn't it? If you think about it. Wakes up in the middle of the night having sex with boyfriend. Hell, why? Want to know if this is normal? We'll tell you, sweetie, after this. Get it on. Get it on. Got to get it on. Don't know how to do anything else, but to get it on. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Get it on. Freak out.

55:07 Caller Get it on.

55:08 Adam It's phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. That's the Drewster over there. I'm the Ace Meister. You confused teens. All right. Ready to keep on going here, Drew?

55:20 Drew Keep it on.

55:21 Adam Speaking to Shannon over here. Shannon. Shannon, you're 18.

55:27 Caller Yes.

55:28 Adam You are perky.

55:31 Guest Thank you.

55:32 Adam You ever heard that Shannon song?

55:34 Guest No.

55:35 Caller What is it?

55:36 Adam It's a guy singing about Shannon. It's like a slow song and a guy singing in a high voice. They sing about Shannon has drifted off to sea. Have you ever heard that song?

55:47 Caller No.

55:48 Adam Anyway, Dr. Drew for a second. Always amazes people that don't know the song of their name.

55:53 Drew I know.

55:54 Adam It's like, well, that song's 25 years old and I'm 18.

55:57 Caller I know.

55:58 Adam But if there was a song out there called Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam.

56:04 Drew Do you remember the theme song from Adam and?

56:06 Adam Up and Adam, Adam and.

56:08 Drew See?

56:09 Adam I just, I'm always, there's two things that confuse me. The one is the person doesn't know the song with the name in it. And then the other one, the person doesn't know what their name means, although it means something because it's the unusual name.

56:21 Drew Do you know what yours means?

56:23 Adam Adam? No, but I mean, no.

56:25 Drew That's some interesting meanings.

56:26 Adam All right. I don't bug guys named Jeff.

56:29 Drew Means man.

56:30 Adam Yeah.

56:30 Drew And play like dirt. I mean like Earth of the Earth.

56:34 Adam Weisenheimer.

56:35 Drew You don't know what your name means? That always amazes me. And people don't know what their name means. But it's something very interesting and has a wild biblical and important historical references.

56:44 Adam No. I'm talking about these American names and these foreign names and these names that the parent went out of the way. And everyone must ask them every 10 seconds. What's that name mean? You see what I'm saying?

56:55 Drew Yeah.

56:56 Adam You know what Drew means? Wise ass.

56:58 Drew Weisenheimer.

56:59 Adam Weisenheimer. Yeah, I know it means man. Come on, man. Sure.

57:04 Guest Thanks, Brandi.

57:05 Adam Go ahead, Shannon.

57:08 Caller All right.

57:08 Adam Go ahead.

57:10 I'm sorry.

57:12 Caller Boys with me are having a fight.

57:13 I don't really care anymore.

57:15 Adam All right.

57:16 Drew What?

57:17 Adam They're having a fight right now on the phone?

57:19 Caller He doesn't care.

57:20 Guest He doesn't care about me at all.

57:52 Adam Wait, you've been on home for 23 minutes, so you're exaggerating.

57:57 Guest It was before that, before I called back.

58:00 Caller It was an hour.

58:02 Adam Okay.

58:03 Drew All right.

58:03 Adam How old is your boyfriend?

58:06 Drew You guys are living together?

58:08 Caller Yeah.

58:09 Drew It's kind of premature, don't you think?

58:12 Caller Yeah. It probably was.

58:14 Drew What are you guys running away from that you have to live together?

58:20 Caller What?

58:20 Drew What are you running away from? Why do you have to live with your boyfriend at eighteen? What happened?

58:26 Caller I don't know.

58:28 Adam Well, what's going on with your family?

58:32 Guest Well, a single parent house.

58:36 Caller I don't know.

58:44 Drew You thought what, Shannon? I couldn't hear that.

58:47 Caller I thought I loved him at the time, but apparently he doesn't love me. I don't know.

58:53 Drew Just because he got on the phone and got so irritable doesn't mean he doesn't care about you.

58:58 Guest I know, but that's not the first time he's done something like that.

59:02 Drew Give us another example.

59:03 Caller I know there's a lot that I would like to ask you, but I can't. Go ahead.

59:07 Guest Keep going.

59:08 Drew Go ahead. We're listening.

59:10 Caller I don't know.

59:10 Guest It's just like he doesn't seem to care. He treats me like I'm nothing, and he makes fun of me with my friends.

59:21 Adam All right.

59:22 Drew Hold on. Give us an example of how he makes fun of you.

59:24 Adam Oh, please.

59:25 Drew Just so we see how bad he is.

59:28 Guest Well, he calls me a bitch over and over and over a lot.

59:31 Adam All right.

59:32 Caller He's not going to make fun of me.

59:34 Guest He tells me I'm fat when I weigh 110 pounds.

59:39 Drew Is he being ironic and is he being facetious?

59:42 Caller Yeah.

59:47 Guest He doesn't mean any of it, he says.

59:49 Caller He says he never means any of it. It seems like he does because he continues to say it. All right. All right.

59:59 Adam So Shannon, first off, could you go back into the cave and get off the top of the mountain?

1:00:04 Drew I think she's skiing.

1:00:06 Adam Where are you?

1:00:07 Guest I'm walking outside my apartment.

1:00:10 Adam Is it windy outside?

1:00:12 Caller Yeah. I'm sorry.

1:00:14 Drew All right. No, no, no.

1:00:16 Adam I need you to-

1:00:17 Drew Get behind a building or something.

1:00:18 Adam Take shelter, would you?

1:00:20 Drew Yeah.

1:00:20 Adam Go in the car or something.

1:00:24 Drew Okay.

1:00:24 Adam That's better.

1:00:25 Drew There we go.

1:00:25 Caller Okay.

1:00:27 Adam All right. Hold on, baby. I wish I was there to hold you. Yeah.

1:00:32 Caller Me too.

1:00:33 Adam Yeah, I do. I give you a nice big fat hug. I give you a bear size hug.

1:00:41 Drew Stay in the shelter there.

1:00:42 Adam I need you to get back in the shelter.

1:00:44 Guest I know. I'm working on it. I wasn't really in shelter. Okay.

1:00:48 Adam Get to the shelter. Okay. Let's try to sort out this mess. First off, your dad abandoned the family.

1:00:56 Guest No.

1:00:57 Caller I shouldn't have never.

1:00:58 Guest I'm sorry.

1:00:59 Caller It was a mistake to call you.

1:01:01 Adam Oh, wait a minute now.

1:01:03 Drew Why was that a mistake?

1:01:04 Guest Because I wanted to know about waking up having sex.

1:01:07 Caller All right.

1:01:08 Drew Well, let's answer that first. Let's answer that first. That does happen a lot. It's been described out there. I've not seen any good descriptions of why it occurs. In my experience, when I have patients that do that kind of thing, they tend to be trauma survivors. Both the couple, like both the boyfriend and the girlfriend, tend to be trauma survivors.

1:01:29 Adam That doesn't mean that much.

1:01:30 Drew And it doesn't mean that much.

1:01:31 Adam All right. So now that we're past that.

1:01:34 Guest Yeah.

1:01:34 Caller That's all I wanted to know.

1:01:36 Adam I know. That's all you wanted to know. That's all we wanted to know.

1:01:39 Guest No.

1:01:40 Caller I'm going to go.

1:01:41 Guest I shouldn't have brought any of that into it. Will you please not put that on the radio if I am?

1:01:46 Adam Which part don't you want on the radio?

1:01:48 Caller All of it.

1:01:49 Guest Pretty much. Yeah. That was a mistake.

1:01:52 Caller I just cut it all out. It's done.

1:01:53 Adam We should delete which part? The whole thing?

1:01:56 Guest Yeah.

1:01:57 Adam Okay. And then you can go back to your crappy relationship and we'll pretend this never happened?

1:02:05 Guest Pretty much, yeah.

1:02:06 Adam All right.

1:02:07 Drew Well, it's not a great way to go through life.

1:02:08 Adam Why do you want to go through life that way? So close to the holidays, too.

1:02:16 Drew Well, here's the deal, build yourself some support. Lots of supportive friends, people that are not involved in the drama and the chaos.

1:02:24 Adam Like a lean-to.

1:02:26 Drew No, not people involved in chaos and drama in your life, people that you can go to reliably who care about you. Build that up so you can get some strength and take a look at this relationship objectively. It sounds like you're kind of stuck in it right now.

1:02:37 Adam You need to not get pregnant.

1:02:38 Drew And by the way, this guy may not be as bad a guy as you're painting it right now. I know right now it's all negative the way you're feeling. But the fact is I bet you go through periods where you idealize them too and everything is wonderful.

1:02:48 Adam Yeah.

1:02:49 Drew So you're having a bad time, bad moment and that's fine. Kind of sit down, calm down, take a good look at reality. But do build a supportive network of friends. So you can begin to step away from this and look at it more objectively. Okay? In the middle of the night stuff is just a sign that both of you guys are survivors.

1:03:06 Adam Yeah, but you're going to get pregnant if you're doing that middle of the night crap.

1:03:09 Drew You're on the pill?

1:03:10 Guest I know.

1:03:11 Adam You're not on the pill, are you?

1:03:13 Guest No.

1:03:14 Adam All right, listen.

1:03:15 Drew And you're living with your boyfriend? Come on, what are you thinking?

1:03:17 Caller I know.

1:03:19 Adam No, no, no, no. Listen, Shannon. Shannon, here's the thing. Your life isn't great, you had a bad childhood, all that kind of stuff. All that can be fixed, it can all be fixed.

1:03:31 Drew With a child?

1:03:32 Adam It can all be fixed, but if you crap out a kid, it ain't getting fixed, it just gets transferred to the kid, and then the kid calls us in 18 years and she's crying her eyes out.

1:03:42 Drew Yeah, that's exactly right.

1:03:43 Adam And if I'm here in 18 years, I'm gonna be crying my eyes out. All right, Shannon, you have to use protection.

1:03:51 Drew Okay.

1:03:52 Adam That's step number one.

1:03:53 Drew Very important, Shannon, all right?

1:03:56 Adam All right, go to Planned Parenthood. Throw yourself on the mercy of their court. Oh, it sucks having a crappy childhood, horrible family and all that stuff.

1:04:05 Drew She has nowhere to go.

1:04:06 Adam No, you don't. And it's like you don't trust anyone and no one's gonna do anything for you. And it's everything's a disaster. And then you get in a radio, you get a little juice, you get a little f you money, and then you start attacking the world.

1:04:19 Drew It's funny how that works. Is that Shannon's play?

1:04:22 Adam No, I'm saying Shannon. Yeah, I don't know what.

1:04:25 Drew No, no, I just, I thought you were talking about Michelle. You were talking about Michelle.

1:04:30 Adam Yeah, I said juice. Yeah, I didn't mean, I didn't mean juice in a sack. I meant juice like, you know, money, power, that kind of stuff. Not the kind of stuff we have to use a straw to poke through the thing. I have no money. Yeah, not juice in a box. I meant juice like wattage.

1:04:45 Drew Well, like you have.

1:04:46 Adam Not tropical punch.

1:04:47 Drew Like you have.

1:04:49 Adam That's right.

1:04:49 Drew Oh, and like Shannon has, obviously. Or she's gonna get.

1:04:51 Adam I'll cut you loose right now. I swear to Christ, I'll pick up the phone. Dr. Bruce will be here in 10 minutes.

1:04:58 Drew Yes, sir.

1:04:58 Adam Yes, sir.

1:04:59 Drew Yes, sir.

1:04:59 Adam No, sir. I've had anal sex and I've cast out a couple of times. Kathy?

1:05:06 Yes.

1:05:07 Adam You're 21?

1:05:08 Caller Yes, I am.

1:05:09 Adam What's up?

1:05:11 Caller My best friend from high school, he's a guy and I'm fixing to go home for winter break and he's invited me to participate in a threesome with him and his girlfriend.

1:05:21 Drew Fixing to go home in what, Texas?

1:05:23 Caller Where do you live? Yeah, yeah, I'm from Texas.

1:05:26 Drew Fixing to go home.

1:05:27 Adam He's invited you to a threesome. I imagine it's it's calligraphy on parchment paper.

1:05:32 Drew No, it's Texas. It's like you got to ride around a barbecue, you know.

1:05:36 Adam No, I'm talking about the invitation.

1:05:37 Drew But I'm saying it's a Texas invitation. You get invited to a barbecue, it's the same thing. It's much more casual.

1:05:42 Caller Yeah, yeah, definitely.

1:05:43 Drew She's fixing to go see him.

1:05:45 Adam I under, I, I, go ahead.

1:05:49 Caller I'm sorry. Don't get hung up on my weird.

1:05:53 Adam No, I'm not. That's true.

1:05:56 Caller But I guess I'm mostly calling to kind of get outside perspective because right now, I guess I'm looking for a reason not to do it.

1:06:06 Drew How about it's going to be hell?

1:06:08 Adam Well, it's threesome with you and another chick.

1:06:11 Caller Yeah.

1:06:12 Drew Something you want to do?

1:06:14 Caller Well, I mean, like I fooled around with him before and they don't really expect me to do that much with her. Like I'm not really attracted to women and she's not really attracted to women.

1:06:23 Caller It's mostly.

1:06:25 Drew Let's cut this through the BS here. You're still into this guy. It's a chance to try to reconnect with him. You're all up in your head about it. I've been invited to the event of the season. Come on. You want to be with this guy again. There's a way to do it and there you go. It's not going to feel very good, especially if you're into this guy.

1:06:44 Caller Yeah, I guess. We've never had really a romantic involvement. It's always been like friendship and then fooling around.

1:06:54 Drew Listen, when people your age are friends, it's because somebody is into it. The other one's not responding quite the way they should and it becomes a friendship.

1:07:02 Adam Who's the chick?

1:07:04 Caller It's his college girlfriend. They've been dating for two years.

1:07:09 Adam That bitch. He gets to have sex with you in front of her?

1:07:16 Caller Yeah, that's, I guess, what they want.

1:07:18 Drew Figure that might break them up?

1:07:22 Caller I don't think so. I mean, they've both been involved with other people during their relationship. She's really open about it.

1:07:30 Adam Yeah, that just means her stepdad diddled her. And is that better than open?

1:07:35 Drew Please don't believe people's BS about that. Oh, I'm so open to my sexuality. Come on.

1:07:40 Adam Yeah.

1:07:40 Drew Are you kidding?

1:07:42 Adam And the other thing is, is he doesn't expect and she doesn't expect you to have sex with her. Yeah. That's what I thought when I got into that threesome with those two dudes, you know?

1:07:55 Drew Yeah, you thought you'd have sex with neither of them?

1:07:57 Adam No. I mean, I thought, you know, threesome to threesome. What the, you know? I didn't realize I'd, you know, get sandwiched that way.

1:08:06 Drew Hey, do you have a name for that?

1:08:07 Adam Hey, Kathy. Yeah, it's called Yuck. You, yeah, you're probably going to have to screw around with her a little bit. And she's going to start messing around with you. And then there's going to be like weird feelings.

1:08:20 Drew Or she's going to rather of screaming. How dare you?

1:08:24 Adam You're not into this guy?

1:08:25 Drew She is.

1:08:27 Adam Yeah, well, she's not really admitting it.

1:08:29 Caller I'm not. Like, it's always been something like we're bored. And so we end up messing around. It's not like, you know.

1:08:37 Adam You're not attracted to him?

1:08:39 Caller Not really. I mean, he's kind of skinny and lanky. And I don't know.

1:08:44 Drew So if this guy.

1:08:45 Adam Skinny and lanky.

1:08:46 Drew Hang on. If this guy did not have a girlfriend and declared himself to you, you would just go, forget it.

1:08:55 Caller Yeah, I think it would be like, I think it would be a strange kind of relationship.

1:09:00 Adam And why, why are you so generous sexually that this guy's not really your cup of tea and he's got a girlfriend, but what the hell? I'm going back home for a few weeks.

1:09:12 Caller I guess again, like it's always been something like when neither of us are dating anybody, we end up fooling around with each other because we have nothing else going on. So maybe like I've got nothing else going on.

1:09:25 Caller So.

1:09:26 Adam But what, what is, I mean, is your, is your self-esteem low?

1:09:30 Drew Or super high.

1:09:31 Adam Or super. Are you that confident? I mean, is there something you feel is wrong with you? Or you don't think guys are attracted to you or you deserve what you can get from guys?

1:09:43 Caller No. I mean, I think it's just different because he's like, you know, my best friend. Like I wouldn't do that with just any guy or any couple.

1:09:49 Adam Your best friend is your best friend.

1:09:52 Drew We gotta get this guy on the phone.

1:09:53 Caller Wow.

1:09:54 Adam It's your best friend. And it's not weird when you're going down on your best friend.

1:09:58 Caller We've known each other since we were 12.

1:10:00 Drew That makes it much less weird.

1:10:02 Adam Much less weird. Yeah.

1:10:03 Caller We sort of explored our sexuality together, you know.

1:10:07 Drew When you were how old?

1:10:09 Caller Oh gosh, like 16 or something. I mean, not like we didn't fool around when we were 12.

1:10:14 Adam All right. All right. I don't know. True. Maybe we're just old. Maybe this is it.

1:10:20 Drew This is a new thing.

1:10:22 Adam Maybe it just becomes, I don't know, any port in a storm or there's just no, there's no, she's known him since they were 12. There's no, there's nothing connected to it. There's no energy behind it. It's just like, it's a pure, it's like, I don't know, you go into the Burke Williams, you get a massage, you don't want to date the guy. He just feels good, get a little tension release and now you head home. Oh, you never go in there.

1:10:52 Drew Well, no, it usually doesn't work that way. And if it does for some people, great. I just, it just, I never see it happening without somebody developing feelings. Just never see it happening.

1:11:00 Adam I know, so she's known the guy for, you know, eight, nine years.

1:11:03 Drew A, maybe this is going on. Maybe this is an exceptional situation. Or B, maybe we're not hearing the truth.

1:11:08 Adam You know what's going on here? Neither one of them is very hot. So both of them are kind of like, yeah, all right, yeah, start sucking. I'm going to watch TV. Yeah, that's that. You know what this is? This is a couple of five and a half hooking up. Each one of them thinking they're an eight though, and seeing each other's a four and go, well, what are you going to do? Yes. Let me see if I can get to the bottom of this. This is going to be uncomfortable. Oh, wait, she's a Cathy. Wait, Cathy's got three? Okay.

1:11:39 Caller I don't get any attention from guys.

1:11:41 Drew What's that?

1:11:42 Caller It's not as if I don't get any attention from guys. I've had boyfriends. I've had sex with other people.

1:11:47 Adam No, no. Believe me, there's always, yeah, I know, there's always someone to have sex with. What do you describe yourself?

1:11:56 Caller Okay, I'm five-seven. I have brown hair. I weigh 140 pounds and that's without the man's show added his 10 pounds.

1:12:04 Adam No, how dare you? That's the radio adjustment. Hold on.

1:12:07 Guest I'm kind of like chunky.

1:12:09 Adam Five-seven, 140. Drew, what's two times six? And then what's a?

1:12:21 Drew Screw it or nine.

1:12:23 Adam What's twelve minus five? Seven. Okay. And then one plus one plus one?

1:12:31 Drew Three.

1:12:32 Adam Three.

1:12:32 Caller Okay.

1:12:33 Adam Three.

1:12:34 Caller It's a tough one to take it down.

1:12:35 Adam One times two. That's.

1:12:36 Drew Two.

1:12:37 Adam Oh, that's two.

1:12:38 Caller Yeah.

1:12:39 Adam Okay. So that's the same as two.

1:12:41 Drew Yeah.

1:12:41 Caller Okay.

1:12:42 Adam And then one times fourteen would be two?

1:12:45 Caller Okay.

1:12:46 Adam So it's whatever it was.

1:12:47 Drew It's one time.

1:12:47 Adam So if I say like one times twenty, that's twenty.

1:12:50 Drew That's two.

1:12:52 Adam That's two. Oh, that's twenty.

1:12:54 Drew Okay.

1:12:54 Adam Okay. Not all of us hung out that place with the books. Liberty. So, okay. I got my eyes. Five, seven, one, four. Okay. I have five, six, and twenty one, thirty seconds. So it's getting close. All right. Let's get on the phone here. Hi, Kathy. And yeah. And hair color?

1:13:21 Caller Brown.

1:13:22 Adam Brown. Okay. You said that.

1:13:23 Caller All right.

1:13:24 Adam And what would you give yourself? If you say you're attractive or semi attractive, decent?

1:13:29 Caller I guess I'd say I'm decent, semi attractive. I have large ish breast. I have an okay face. I get attention.

1:13:37 Adam All right. All right. But neither one of you is particularly attracted to each other.

1:13:43 Caller Not like he likes, you know, skinny, small-chested girls. I like the football player type, you know, we just.

1:13:49 Adam All right. And he's super skinny. He's really skinny. All right. Now, neither one of you is surprised. That's what it is. By the way, this goes on every once in a while, Drew.

1:14:00 Drew Yeah.

1:14:00 Adam You'll actually, each one of you thinks you're on a mercy mission. God knows how many of those I've had that have worked both ways.

1:14:08 Drew Yes.

1:14:09 Adam Yes. You know what I mean?

1:14:09 Drew When you thought you were on a mercy mission.

1:14:10 Adam I'm like, yeah, I guess I'll throw her one. And she's like, what are you going to do? I'm going to make her so vomit. All right. What are you going to do? I feel bad. She shudders first. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I guess everyone's got to do their time. Yeah. And it's a relative thing. My next guy is going to seem like he's John John. It's like JFK Junior compared to Adam. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's what this is. Neither one of them is that high. And here's the thing. I want to talk about this for a while. I'm talking about, we haven't spoken about the numbers thing in a while. Yeah. The thing about the numbers is, and I know it's trite and everyone's brought it up before us and all that, but it's an important thing which is you want your number plus one or two numbers. But you have to be realistic about what your number is. This guy's thinking, I got a girlfriend and I ain't fat, therefore I got an inflated number. He thinks he's coming in at eight or nine. In the reality, he's probably more in the six range. Her thing is I'm a little bit chunky, so I got a nice C cup going and there are other guys who want to have me, so I must be seven and a half or an eight, but listen.

1:15:23 Drew It must be hard as well to judge where you sit because guys are all hanging over themselves.

1:15:28 Adam As a guy, your number is pretty much determined by who will have sex with you and what their number is.

1:15:35 Drew But that's pretty much determined by what you're doing.

1:15:38 Adam Yeah, but I'm just trying to say, yeah, obviously, yeah, you could extrapolate it down to that, but your number as a guy, I mean, you could go around and say, oh, I got a great job and I'm great looking, I got a great car, but if you ain't pulling it in, then something's going on. So as a guy, really in a certain sense, your number is determined by the market. It's like women in handbags. Who the hell knows that one's worth 800 bucks, that one's 1500 bucks, that one's 60 bucks or 10 bucks. Right. Who knows? The same cost of material. No, it's who wants which one the most. That's what makes they determine the value. As a guy, the market determines the value, but you determine the value by, you got a good job, you got some juice, you got some money in your pocket, you got a nice pad, you got a TV, you got a band.

1:16:28 Drew But in the female, it's more of a commodity.

1:16:31 Adam It's difficult.

1:16:31 Drew Everyone needs it.

1:16:32 Adam It's difficult for women because I don't care if you're a Broom Hilda, not everyone, but there are plenty of guys out there, mostly brothers, who want to have sex with you. And so if you base it on, and we hear this all the time, that chick is three packs a day and has the devil and angel on each saggy boob. She's like, I don't have it. Plenty of guys. Yeah. Plenty of scary homeless guys want to have sex with you. Yeah, there's always guys who want to have sex with you, so it's hard to assign yourself a number.

1:17:05 Drew Right.

1:17:06 Adam It's what is the number of the guy who not only wants to have sex with you, but wants to be with you.

1:17:13 Drew But also realize all guys are kind of, they're all good looking to them. If you don't pay attention to where the number's coming in, just sort of look at the physical characteristics, you can convince yourself that attractive guys are into me.

1:17:25 Adam Right.

1:17:25 Drew Therefore, my number must be pretty good.

1:17:27 Adam Well, I don't even think you have to worry about the attractive guy part. You just have to worry about the part where there's plenty of penis coming your way. Yeah.

1:17:35 Drew And the theater near you.

1:17:37 Adam Here's the other thing too. You could have attractive guys who would certainly spend the night with you and they don't call you the next day. That doesn't exist in the male world. It's not, well, this week I banged some hot stewardesses and then I banged some runway models. No, if you're drawing them in, your number's high. If you can get good-looking females, you've got a high number. You see what I'm saying? As a guy, as a girl, there will, Drew, you're a fantastically handsome man.

1:18:08 Drew Fantastic.

1:18:09 Adam Drew, I mean, Michelle, you like the ladies, but even you would have to admit that Drew is a specimen of a man, yes?

1:18:19 Drew Oh, he's a handsome man.

1:18:20 Adam He's a handsome man, yes? Yes, handsome.

1:18:23 Drew Yes.

1:18:23 Adam He's a fantastically handsome man. And Drew was like Troy Donahue growing up in his beach community. He would once in a while throw Broomhilda a bone. And when I say once in a while, we're into the 1500, 1600 times, I'm sure. But the point is, is he didn't give her a ring. You know what I mean? He didn't follow up on it. So a good looking guy will take a few steps down every once in a while, just because an important storm kind of thing. Yes. Drew is going to start crying, but it's true. So you can't go by that as a woman. You have to go by, does he call you the next day? Does he want to start dating? See what I'm saying? Anyway, assess your number, everybody. Be realistic about it and realize it varies quite a bit. For instance, men, doesn't really, what they look like, not the biggest component. A component, not the biggest one.

1:19:24 Drew Which is weird.

1:19:26 Caller I know, but thank Christ.

1:19:27 Adam We're going to, you don't want to stop me at any point.

1:19:31 Drew I remember, I'll never forget that thing, when you and I were on Rose's and Arnold's show, and who was the girl? Donka Radakovich was on there with us too.

1:19:40 Adam Jesus Christ, how do you remember that slut's name? Nine foot woman who wrote a book on anal.

1:19:49 Drew That was Tristan Tremino.

1:19:51 Caller All right, all right.

1:19:52 Adam Drew, what's up?

1:19:53 Drew Hey, memory is kicking in.

1:19:54 Adam Yeah, kick it out.

1:19:57 Drew We start explaining this numbers thing to them. You go, for instance, Drew and I, we're working on a solid six. They go, no, no, you guys are nine. They go, that's the point, is that because we're doing things on TV, you assign us a nine for what we're doing. But in reality, we're a six. They go, no, no, you're not a six, you're not. We're like, you can't even separate it out. They can't even separate out what we did, what we actually look like. Right.

1:20:20 Adam You would be a nine if you worked at a rendering plant. I mean, you're that kind of good looking.

1:20:24 Caller I got a numbers thing. It's called Six Minutes Late, guys. We got to go to a nine.

1:20:27 Adam All right. Let's take ourselves a little break. I got a numbers thing. It's called 10 bucks an hour, loud mouth. Let's take ourselves a little break.

1:20:34 Caller You're so far off there, Corolla.

1:20:37 Adam I know. Closer to seven. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:20:42 Caller 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1.

1:20:45 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:20:55 Adam Yeah, it's Loveline.

1:20:57 Caller I'm the one known as the Ace Man.

1:21:00 Adam That's my partner, Dr. Drew over there. Thank you very much. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1. We got a lot of show coming up next week. I'll tell you what, Drew.

1:21:10 Drew Speaking of but.

1:21:11 Adam A little too much show. Ted, here we got some 41 coming up. The Donna's, Foxy, Foxy, Foxy, Foxy, possible lesbians. And Papa Roach coming in here. Dear, dear, dear friends. Papa Roach, can't remember the guys' names. Great guys, so good band, great guys. Yeah, Drew, a lot of show, buddy.

1:21:30 Drew But we have Christy here to tell us about the douching thing.

1:21:33 Adam That's an info on how a gay man douches. Fascinating. Christy.

1:21:40 Caller Hi, I'm here.

1:21:41 Adam You're 20. We're here too. What's up, baby doll?

1:21:44 Guest Basically, I am a gay sex Bible. And if you have any questions about how they do it, any processes, positions, anything, I know.

1:21:53 Adam Oh, all right.

1:21:54 Guest So as far as the actual processes for douching.

1:21:58 Adam Yeah, well, slow down, slow down, slow down.

1:22:00 Guest OK, sorry, I'm really nervous.

1:22:02 Adam All right. Now, where are you now at a hospice?

1:22:04 Guest I'm actually outside my dorms.

1:22:07 Adam Oh, I see.

1:22:07 Drew Where? University of Washington? Where are you?

1:22:09 Guest I'm actually in the University of Puget Sound, Tacoma.

1:22:12 Adam Beautiful. I think I own some land out that way.

1:22:16 Guest It's really a really pretty campus.

1:22:19 Adam You know where Anacortes Island is?

1:22:21 Guest Yeah, I know where that is.

1:22:23 Adam Yeah.

1:22:24 Drew You have land there?

1:22:24 Adam I think so.

1:22:25 Drew You ever been there?

1:22:26 Adam No.

1:22:26 Drew I haven't been there. You're a millionaire. What are you going to do? You have land everywhere.

1:22:31 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. A friend of mine talked me into buying some land over there. I did. My dad went over there and visited it, actually. Tell you about that. All right. So Christy, how do you know so much about gay love?

1:22:45 Guest Actually, it's really hard to explain. It's something that a lot of me and my friends are really into. We actually watch gay porn and I have books and all sorts of things on it. I'm actually holding one of my books right now called The Joy of Gay Sex.

1:22:58 Drew You know, Adam, I think we've gone through an evolution. I mean, we've woken up and things have changed. Yeah. We're hearing all these new things coming into us.

1:23:07 Adam Are you a lesbian?

1:23:09 Guest No, but actually a lot of women that are into gay porn are lesbians.

1:23:13 Drew We know that. We heard that.

1:23:15 Adam Add this discussion.

1:23:16 Guest A lot of my friends are.

1:23:17 Adam Last night.

1:23:18 Drew What does it do for you, though?

1:23:20 Caller I don't know.

1:23:23 Guest It's hard to explain. I mean, I find it sexy.

1:23:27 Adam The two guys.

1:23:29 Guest The two guys. I meant the two guys.

1:23:31 Adam In the gay porn.

1:23:33 Drew This is a multi-organized.

1:23:36 Adam How do these guys go mainly? They're like really tan and they're shaved, right?

1:23:40 Caller Yeah.

1:23:42 Guest I have not actually seen any pubic hair in any gay picture, gay sex picture ever.

1:23:48 Caller Yeah.

1:23:48 Adam They don't like the hair of those fellas. And they're all tan and they're like smooth. It's almost like they're like seals.

1:23:55 Guest Yeah.

1:23:57 Drew And you find them attractive, Mary, right?

1:23:59 Adam Yeah. I mean, yeah. What do you think, Mary?

1:24:02 Guest A lot of the gay men are very attractive. That's another big part of it.

1:24:07 Drew But this is a Mary is-

1:24:09 Adam It's attractive if you don't like-

1:24:11 Drew Here's the deal. Very passionate.

1:24:14 Adam You are a woman of great passion, yes? Oh, you're talking about- Oh, no. I'm talking about Christy.

1:24:18 Drew Oh, Christy.

1:24:19 Adam Christy, you're a woman of incredible passion?

1:24:22 Guest I'd like to be. I'm actually really intimidated. So I'm really nervous. I haven't even actually ever dated.

1:24:33 Drew All right. It's built up passion.

1:24:34 Adam Wow. So are you a lot of woman, Christy?

1:24:39 Guest No, actually, I'm rather small.

1:24:42 Adam Really?

1:24:43 Guest About 5'5, about 115.

1:24:46 Adam Wow. And yet you've found no takers for your passion?

1:24:50 Guest I've been actually, I mean, I don't know if I necessarily, I've been thinking about this a lot, especially since I've listened to you guys for a long time. And I'm trying to figure out if there was any sort of, any sort of abuse in my past that might actually make me afraid of men.

1:25:04 Adam All right. Well, let's, let's not jeopardize my boner by talking about that for just one minute.

1:25:11 Guest No problem.

1:25:12 Adam Back to the hot gay love that you're so into.

1:25:15 Guest Yeah.

1:25:16 Adam These guys, okay, so now the gay porn. I will not and cannot watch a gay porn without vomiting and vomit coming out of my nose. That kind of vomit.

1:25:26 Drew Well, you're like trying to hold it back and explain.

1:25:28 Adam Yeah. Do they, now what do they do? I mean, obviously it varies, but what part do you like? Do you like the anal sex or the oral sex?

1:25:38 Guest I don't know. Anal seems okay, but I normally like oral.

1:25:42 Adam You like the oral?

1:25:43 Guest Yeah. I like to watch the oral.

1:25:45 Adam I see. And how do they finish in those movies?

1:25:52 Guest Sometimes there's a pullout and showing the money shot and all that kind of stuff. Nowadays, I really try and emphasize condom wearing, so there's a lot of, like actually just into the condom and stuff.

1:26:05 Drew And you see how demure and delicate Christy is.

1:26:08 Adam Now, Christy.

1:26:10 Drew The money shot.

1:26:11 Adam I surmised last night that women who liked gay pornography were women who like seeing men degraded. Do you have any feelings of that?

1:26:26 Guest I think there is not necessarily a degradation issue, but there is the feeling of them being on the same level as the woman.

1:26:35 Drew Oh, interesting.

1:26:36 Guest Where I, you know, I don't like the feeling of if I'm going to be with a man, I'm going to have to be the submissive one. And so if I see two men together, then it feels like it's a much more balanced, a much more loving thing. Even if I know that's not true.

1:26:53 Drew Why do you feel you have, well, there are plenty of guys that you don't have to be submissive for.

1:26:57 Adam Yeah.

1:26:58 Drew Why do you feel you have to be submissive?

1:27:00 Adam Well, she means that one wants the socket, one wants the plug, you know.

1:27:04 Drew I was going to say, do you mean receptive?

1:27:06 Guest Yeah. I don't know. As I said, I've always been very intimidated by, like, myself being involved in any sort of sexual relationship.

1:27:17 Drew Why? What do you feel? What's the feeling?

1:27:20 Guest I just sort of cringe. I don't know. It's like maybe I feel a little dirty or something. And I don't mean I've had issues with touching just by anyone in general.

1:27:31 Drew She'd rather watch the gay sex or the money shot.

1:27:33 Guest All right.

1:27:33 Adam Hold on. And now now now we're getting down to it. And and and I also want you to answer our prep or ask prep questions as well. But now now we got to start asking you stepdad dad. Somebody did something. What's up?

1:27:48 Guest I had a really good family. The only thing that I actually recently I've been thinking of. And I never really thought it would have any effect on me till now was when I was younger. There was another boy who was the same age as me, who did a little bit of touching and such, especially sticking his hands down my pants and all that kind of stuff. But that's the only thing I can really think.

1:28:11 Drew How old were you at the time?

1:28:13 Guest I'm thinking about probably four or five.

1:28:16 Drew How far did it get to you think?

1:28:18 Guest Not very far because the first couple of times, it was just from touching.

1:28:23 Caller Couple of times.

1:28:25 Guest Mom walked in.

1:28:27 Adam All right. Hold on. Hold on. Let me say this, Drew. Some people break down for no good reason.

1:28:38 Drew Sure.

1:28:38 Adam On occasion.

1:28:39 Drew genetic things, though. It's just this.

1:28:41 Adam Now, that was something, not enough for most, but enough if you have the, the chain. Yeah. If you're sort of predisposed to break down.

1:28:51 Drew Right. Right.

1:28:52 Adam All right. So, Christy. Yeah. You're going to have to get a little therapy, sweetness.

1:28:57 Drew No, no, no, no, no.

1:28:58 Adam Yeah. No, not for this. I just mean, you got to do something.

1:29:02 Drew You need to have a boyfriend.

1:29:03 Adam You never even.

1:29:04 Drew Yeah. She needs to break it down, break it in.

1:29:05 Guest Yeah.

1:29:06 Drew She just get going.

1:29:07 Guest I've been trying. I actually started. I'm actually on a couple of anti-depressants right now, and I tried getting some guys that I thought were kind of nice, my phone number, but nothing has happened yet.

1:29:19 Adam What have you? You've never been on a date?

1:29:23 Guest Never been on a date, never anything real.

1:29:25 Drew Why don't you ask some guys out?

1:29:27 Guest Yeah.

1:29:27 Adam You're in college. What about your friends? Didn't they set you up with some of their friends?

1:29:33 Guest No, not yet. Haven't had that happen because I normally tell them not to.

1:29:40 Adam Have you ever kissed a guy?

1:29:42 Guest Once on a dare.

1:29:43 Adam On a dare.

1:29:45 Drew All right. Chris, you need to... Twenty-one. This is where behavior management comes in. This is where you...

1:29:50 Adam Most our callers are on the third, fourth divorce by this time and had a hysterectomy.

1:29:54 Drew I believe it's the fifth kid. That's right. Look, Chris, you need to... If you cannot... You're incapable of sitting and having a relationship with somebody across a date or whatever, you need to sort of break yourself into this. Let's start, baby. You got to start doing it. You got to make it your job now to... Get on some dates, spend some time with people, get used to this experience of what that feels like. And if you don't, yeah, then it's the domain of therapy. But all the therapy is going to be doing is giving you support to encourage you to do exactly this. This is not something specific... You're not giving us a horrific trauma history and you're not acting out with guys. You're just to have this sort of... You're like you're phobic. I mean, almost like EMDR would be a worthwhile thing for you. But I wouldn't do that. I would just go ahead and get out.

1:30:35 Adam Electro shock therapy?

1:30:36 Drew No, it's the eye movement thing. Oh, that thing? Yeah, yeah. Whoa.

1:30:39 Adam Hey, Christy.

1:30:40 Guest Yeah?

1:30:41 Adam You stop spending Saturday nights watching the director's cut of You Bang Us, Your Anus and hit the road. Go to some frat house, find some real dudes.

1:30:50 Drew Yeah, you gotta make it...

1:30:51 Adam You gotta make dudes with hair on them, by the way.

1:30:53 Drew And then ask guys out.

1:30:54 Adam A little lint in the sack. Ain't gonna hurt you.

1:30:57 Drew You're up there at the Puget Sound. Come on.

1:30:58 Adam Find some dudes. Yeah, there's guys out there. Yeah. All right, stop watching the tan guys. They're all greased up and hairless. Banging each other.

1:31:06 Guest Okay.

1:31:06 Adam All right, but what is good ass prep?

1:31:09 Drew Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

1:31:11 Guest Okay. As far as seducing, even though many gay men don't, aren't really into the anal sex.

1:31:19 Drew George Adam Adams still has trouble getting over.

1:31:21 Adam It's disappointing, certainly from a comedic standpoint.

1:31:24 Drew Yes.

1:31:25 Guest Pretty much once in every gay man's life, they will have anal sex to try it out.

1:31:30 Drew Interesting.

1:31:32 Adam That's the North American homo we're talking about?

1:31:34 Drew Or the wild. The free-range.

1:31:37 Adam The free-range homo or the North American domesticated homo?

1:31:41 Guest Free-range.

1:31:42 Adam Okay. But how do they prep for the inevitable ass encounter?

1:31:46 Guest Just your standard enema is usually the normal practice.

1:31:50 Drew But a tap water enema or a fleet's enema?

1:31:54 Guest Usually tap water.

1:31:55 Drew Tap water. A high enema.

1:31:57 Adam And a high enema, a little pressure. And you will do that before you head out that night?

1:32:04 Guest Yeah, pretty much. Like, if you know you're going to be having anal sex, they want you to clean out a few hours ahead of time so that you know that you're completely clean because it's just sort of a whole, like...

1:32:15 Adam Right, right. We're doing the fecal math.

1:32:19 Caller Hey, ask her if she knows who the biggest male adult gay star is.

1:32:23 Adam All right. Why? No, no, Drew, don't say anything. Christy?

1:32:27 Guest Yeah?

1:32:28 Adam Who's the biggest adult male gay star?

1:32:32 Guest I don't know. I watch a lot of really obscure stuff.

1:32:35 Adam Okay.

1:32:36 Guest I like Asian men.

1:32:38 Caller Ooh.

1:32:40 Adam Yeah. This, yeah. I've, I hold that. I saw that whole Why My Parents Are Killing Themselves series. Yeah, that's what they call the Asian porn. Asian dad sees son getting daisy chained. He just, he falls right on it. Samurai. Yeah. And I'm not stereotyping at all. Not at all.

1:33:02 Drew Just stating the fact.

1:33:02 Adam Not at all. But he walks across the rice paper floor. He grabs his ceremonial samurai sword.

1:33:09 Drew It takes too long. He doesn't stand at ceremony when he sees his son.

1:33:13 Adam He's a dagger in his kimono and he falls right on it. He falls right on it, narrowly missing the futon and landing right on it.

1:33:22 Drew We're talking about you bang us, you ain't us here.

1:33:24 Adam Yeah.

1:33:25 Drew Come on.

1:33:26 Caller You bang us, you ain't us here.

1:33:29 Drew What is that?

1:33:30 Adam You have disgraced me, my son. Yeah. All right. Let's take ourselves a little break.

1:33:37 Drew Yeah.

1:33:37 Adam Yeah?

1:33:38 Caller I kissed a guy in a dare once.

1:33:40 Caller You did?

1:33:41 Drew How was it?

1:33:42 Adam It's still rinsing, by the way. 22 years later, can you get the yucky man cootie out of her mouth? Make out with Drew. I'll give you 10 bucks. All right, baby. But take yourselves a little break. Drew's game, too. Well, take a little break. Be right back after this.

1:34:00 Caller Loveline, will be right back.

1:34:15 Adam Yeah, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's good old Dr. Drew. Forget about that phone number. Quiet, Drew. Papa Roach in here next week. Also the Donnas and Sum 41. I like Sum 41. You ready to go here, Drew?

1:34:31 Drew Here we go.

1:34:31 Adam What's going on?

1:34:32 Drew I think we're introducing, no, we're introducing Sum 41 Sunday.

1:34:35 Adam I think we might be.

1:34:36 Drew Yeah.

1:34:37 Adam Mary?

1:34:37 Drew Yeah.

1:34:38 Adam You're 18?

1:34:41 Drew I was just waking up. Look at that. Look at that. Oh, yeah.

1:34:44 Adam On hold for 122.

1:34:47 Guest Wow, really?

1:34:48 Drew Not too planning.

1:34:49 Guest Yeah.

1:34:51 Adam Well, wait till she wakes up. Go ahead, Mary.

1:34:55 Guest Hi. I was wondering if anorexia affects fertility or your reproductive organs.

1:35:01 Drew It can in many different ways. One is obviously when your weight is down, you don't ovulate. It can be difficult to get pregnant. Another way is people with long-standing anorexia or bulimia tend to be predisposed to what's called premature ovarian failure where your ovaries are shut off permanently. That happens.

1:35:21 Guest Do you go into menopause then?

1:35:23 Drew Basically, yeah. Basically, that's what happens.

1:35:25 Guest Okay. Do you know how common all that is?

1:35:31 Drew I don't know. Numbers, I've seen it. I'll tell you this. If you have bad anorexia, I think you're very significantly at risk for that.

1:35:40 Adam Well, I don't know. It's not too many things that are worse for you. I mean, your body's better off doing heroin, right?

1:35:47 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:35:48 Adam Yeah. So you should start doing heroin.

1:35:50 Guest Okay. All right.

1:35:53 Adam Good luck. Now, look, screwball, what's going on?

1:35:56 Guest What do you mean?

1:35:57 Drew Well, I mean, why don't you get some help with this if it's that bad?

1:36:02 Guest Why don't I get some help? Is that what you said?

1:36:04 Drew Yes. If it's bad enough for you to be worried about your fertility, why aren't you getting help, treatment?

1:36:09 Guest I don't know. I don't really like have any friends and I'm all moved out. And I guess there's just not anybody to like really tell me that I'm acting messed up or...

1:36:21 Drew All right. We're telling you.

1:36:22 Adam Yeah.

1:36:23 Drew Here we go.

1:36:23 Adam We'll be your friends.

1:36:24 Drew Let's go. Come on.

1:36:25 Adam Yeah. We'll be your best friends, baby.

1:36:28 Drew Come on, Mary.

1:36:29 Adam Here we go.

1:36:29 Drew Let's go.

1:36:29 Adam Let's get it on. Get a hand in. Get a spindly arm in.

1:36:36 Guest It's not that big of a deal to me.

1:36:38 Drew It is a big deal. It is a big deal.

1:36:41 Guest And like I just, I've looked all over for this information. I know some people who wanted to know as well.

1:36:48 Drew Well, there you go.

1:36:49 Adam All right. What do you do? Do you work?

1:36:52 Drew What kind of work?

1:36:54 Guest I work at a call center.

1:36:57 Adam What's that mean?

1:36:58 Guest It means that, you know, like tech support. So, yeah, that's what I do for a living.

1:37:06 Adam And what do you support?

1:37:08 Guest Cellular phones. Oh, really?

1:37:11 Adam I thought they outsourced all that stuff.

1:37:13 Guest Yeah, I said that we should have a counter that's like, you know, like where the days flip downwards like 22 days until my job goes to India or something like that.

1:37:23 Caller Yeah.

1:37:23 Adam You know, that's what everyone sounds like, all these guys. Yeah. They try and keep the mouses frozen on their...

1:37:30 Caller It's a shame.

1:37:31 Guest They try and teach you, or they try and teach the Indian people to talk more so they sound like Americans and they say that their name is Sarah or Michael or really typical American names.

1:37:45 Adam My name is Fred. My name is Fred Johnson. I grew up in Indiana.

1:37:56 Caller Go Hoosiers.

1:37:59 Guest Oh, man. Yeah, I should probably look for a different career.

1:38:03 Caller No, not all right.

1:38:07 Adam Yeah, that's good. Yeah, we can make everyone sound like they're from here. Where are you from? Michigan. Oh, do you know Mike is a good friend? Yeah, true. Yeah, it's all outsourced, baby. That's what I do. Let's just teach the world to speak without an accent and we'd be cool.

1:38:29 Drew Or we would be.

1:38:30 Adam We travel anywhere we wanted. Plus they wouldn't want to blow us up all the time because it'd be like blowing them up. You know what I mean? I like that. All right, you got to outsource. Well, that's a decent job for an 18-year-old, right? Absolutely. I mean, 18, I just figured it should be, you know, bussing dishes or something. Right. That's not a bad gig. So you got to get some friends. Mary.

1:38:51 Drew Yeah.

1:38:52 Adam You got to get some friends.

1:38:54 Guest I don't want to, really.

1:38:56 Drew What does that mean?

1:38:57 Adam What's all the depression, baby?

1:39:01 Guest I don't know. I just, I, when I talk to people, I'm just like disgusted with how, like, typical and boring they are.

1:39:10 Adam Yeah. I got to sit next to Drew every night. I kill myself. Yeah. Well, there are plenty of interesting, exciting people. And by the way, you know, what do you got going? You make nine bucks an hour and you got an eating disorder. Come on. You're no prize either.

1:39:26 Drew You're 18. Yeah, I know.

1:39:27 Adam You find somebody, you know what? Find some nice people and hang out with them.

1:39:31 Drew That's your depression talking, Mary. That is the depression. You got to deal with this.

1:39:35 Adam Let me give you guys a speech. You need friends. You got to have friends. You got to have buddies. You got to have people that you can laugh with and cry with. They'll take care of you. They'll bail you out. They'll look after you. And you got to do the same.

1:39:47 Drew Most people call that a family, but if you don't have one of those.

1:39:50 Adam I know. If you're like Oliver Twist over here. You got to do that stuff. You really do. And then you got to take care of them. All right. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:40:01 Caller All right, guys.

1:40:01 Caller Here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:40:06 Drew One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

1:40:08 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:40:28 Adam Well, that's the show, not only the show, but the week. I want to give thanks where thanks are due. I want to thank a phone screener, Brian, for screaming for just seconds when we go back to Engineer Anderson every once in a while and Westwood too. I want to thank a phone screener, Ziggy, for doing a fantabulous job all week long. I want to thank the magic-fingered one, the Liberace of the Potentiometers, Drew, Engineer Anderson. I love them to death. We'll see them this weekend at the big concert. Both be drunk. I want to thank Engineer Chris for doing a fantastic job all week long. I want to thank Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Producer Lauren, who now knows how to turn on the computer. Look at that, Drew. Look out. I want to thank Engineerice Michelle. What a wonderful breath of fresh air blown into the studio each and every night. And I want to thank Producer Ann. So, Drew, could you shut up, please?

1:41:31 Drew Does that make noise? Good.

1:41:32 Adam Yeah, you can't hear that. So, until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:41:40 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:41:43 Caller Loveline, the opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, December 9, 2004